#I am just happy how their characters got strong and both are alive

[m9rtality]

I don't smoke

SYNOPSIS ; You think you're inlove with a man that's inlove with another, until you meet him.

CONTENT WARNING — Angst, symbiotic relationship (not being inlove, depending on eachother for emotional stability), major character death.

GENRE — Angst

“If you need to be mean”

I smiled painfully as I watched my boyfriend with his best friend, Gojo Satoru. I knew they were in love, it was so unbelievably obvious by the way they looked at each other. I knew it’d never be the one that own his heart but I was okay with being his second place. There’s a lot of things about Gojo Satoru that I could never compare with, he’s strong and smart but also has playful aspects and his personality is one of a kind. I’ll never be Gojo so I’ll be the next best thing, or at least I’ll try to be.

I sat at the bar while Shoko flirted with the bar tender while Gojo and Suguru danced together with drinks in their hands, Suguru was smiling bright than he ever did with me, when he looked at Satoru, his Satoru I could see the overwhelming look of love in his eyes. I wish he looked at me that way, yeah he loved me but never like how he loved his soulmate, his other half. The one person he wanted the most, he couldn't have so I was what he settled for.

“Be mean to me.”

I comforted Suguru in his depressive state, when he was at his weakest I was always there for him. I promised Gojo and Shoko that I’d always be there for him, no matter what type of mental state I’m in he will always come first. I didn’t mind because I loved him, Suguru was my soulmate but I was not his, and I was okay with that. At least I think I am.

I wish I could have Suguru all to myself, but he brought home two sweet girls named Nanako and Mimiko. I loved them dearly and I thought of them as my own daughters and it was obvious that Suguru felt the same way but never actually showed it. The girls worshiped him and it was sweet of how they looked up to him.

“I can take it and put it inside of me”

I stood by my fiancee’s side, I didn't agree with his beliefs but I stood by him anyways because that’s my job as his spouse. I stood by him as he wanted to get rid of all non-sorcerers, I stood by him during that entire time because I told him no matter how evil he became I’d always be on his side. I promised the girls that no matter what their father did he was a good man and he loved them more than life itself even if he never told him that because I knew he felt that way.

I was a sorcerer so Suguru kept me alive, but I missed the man I met before we got married. I missed how happy he was even if it wasn’t because of me. I missed when he cuddled me and kissed me, even if he belonged with another he still loved me and I missed when he showed me that. He now barely even touched me, kisses were more rare than seeing him because he was always saving non-sorcerers from curses then speaking horribly about them to Nanako and Mimiko.

“If your hands need to break”

I felt my heart shatter when I heard my husband had died. I couldn’t believe what I was being told by the man my husband loved, the man my husband loved more than me telling me that my husband, my lover is dead. The man my husband would always choose over me had killed my husband for ‘the greater good’ and now here I was holding him in my arms as we cried together over the man we had an shared love for, a man we both wanted but was fated to never belong to us.

I never expected that Satoru and I would bond over the man we loved, that we’d bond over the shared pain we had after loosing him. I never expected that I’d be continuing becoming a sorcerer just because Satoru had convinced me it’d be fun and I could teach the students with him.

“More than trinkets in your room”

I never thought that I’d be okay after Suguru died, I never thought I’d be happy without him but I feel horrible to say that I’m glad I’m away from him because I’ve never felt happier. I don’t have to deal with the pressure of walking on eggshells around him because I don’t know which version of my husband I’d get, I love Suguru and he’d never hurt me but he’d yell so much and I finally feel free.

I loved my husband but I’ve never felt happier without him and that makes me hate myself, but I shouldn’t. Satoru helped me accept myself, he helped me learn how to accept Suguru’s death and not let that make me end up like him. I never thought I’d fall in love with anyone that wasn’t Suguru, but here I was catching feelings for Nanami, I went to school with him at Jujutsu high but I never spoke with him much and now here I was, giggling and laughing while Nanami and I did cleaned the messy classroom after the 1st years chaos.

“You can lean on my arm”

I leaned on Nanami’s arm after a long day of teaching. I never felt happier than I did with Nanami, I thought I was in love with Suguru but I don’t think I ever was. I think it was just a Symbiotic relationship because we may have kissed, touched each other but that was only when we were in a bad state of mind or needed emotional support.

All the times we exchanged I love yous were simply a lie because I never loved Suguru and he never loved me, but I’m happy that I got time with him. I’m happy I was in his life an he was in mine. But I’m happy I lost him because now I know what it means to be in love and be happy, I’m finally happy.

“As you break my heart”

Everything went so fast. I was on a mission with Yuuji and Nobara and now I’m laying in my sweet student’s arms while they cried for me to keep fighting, for just a little bit longer. Yuuji said he’d get help and I’d be okay, Nobara repeated that Nanami will be happy to see me again. I could tell Nobara was trying her very best to get Yuuji to accept the fact that I was dying.

“I’m so proud of you two.. You both are so strong.” I said softly as I felt my vision slowly getting blurry and fading to black.

I never would’ve thought this would be how my life turned out, but I’m glad it did. I’m glad I was the way I am and I have no regrets in my life, I just wish I could’ve seen my sweet girls one more time. I haven't seen them since Suguru’s death and I wish I could see my girls one last time.

“Mommy?..” “Mama!..”

“Nanako?.. Mimiko.. You two shouldn’t be here."

[tekkenenjoyerblue]

Can barely contain my thoughts of excitement for M. Bison’s DLC I don’t normally do insane rambling so I’m gonna put this under the cut. Spoilers for Bison’s World Tour stuff below if you haven’t seen and want to experience that yourself!

Ohhhhh my god the absolute relief and joy I feel that they didn’t do away with M. Bison’s amnesia with his world tour. I think the way they went about that in general was pretty well done! I had my concerns about how they were going to handle his story but giving Bison a clear cut disinterest in Shadaloo beyond what it can do for him is GREAT. I think most important to me he is still Bison, just in a brand new package. Personality wise he’s still his violent, jerkish self with a new layer of hostility and disinterest in others due to his amnesia. I love that there’s a consensus in the game that no one views this version of Bison as “complete” even Bison himself making statements about it. And us as the viewer seeing how characters react to that. F.A.N.G is obviously not thrilled with the whole outcome, JP’s win quote paints him as intrigued about Bison not being “his whole self yet” it’s something every Shadaloo member seems to want to remedy and mitigate as fast as possible, but Bison…does not seem to care beyond the annoyance and curiosity of foggy flashing memories. He states even if a more perfect version of him came along he would simply crush them and take their power for his own. In his own words

His specific point of not really caring about reestablishing the organization (he really went “we’ll see about that”) is a huge relief to me. Because the fact he’s more interested in seeing things play out/not particularly bothered or threatened by the existence of the remnants of Shadaloo means that JP can still run his schemes without me having to worry about Capcom using Bison as an “in emergency break glass” Villain (I hope…)

The only reason Bison is hanging around the ruined lab is just a curiosity for the potential strength hidden in these residual memories, even claiming whether or not they actually do anything matters very little to him. He’s perfectly content with his vessel as is only seeking ways to complete it further if the opportunity presents itself. Biding his time and satiating his hunger for strong fights that fuel his psycho power and give him a chance to control it further.

What I wanted most from his DLC story after seeing the trailer was for him to remain disinterested in Shadaloo (we already have a whole cast of characters deeply embroiled in the sort of feud between Neo Shadaloo’s ranks and all the stuff with F.A.N.G and A.K.I), and for him to still have that personality I love so much even if his methods or motives changed, and I got both of these things so I really am a happy camper.

Other things I really liked about this include pretty much everything around Bison’s bond with his horse

- Bison only sparing us initially because his horse likes us (100/10 reasoning I am obsessed with this)

- then proceeding to tell us in another interaction that said horse is above us on the pecking order and that being useful is the only continued reason for his training of us

- the fact he nursed this dying horse back to health complete with psycho power infusion because he could see how determined it was to stay alive is just AAAAAA

Horse enthusiasts M. Bison is my favorite thing besides just his new looks in general and BOY do I think he looks good. I am chock full of ideas of my own and curious about any new things we may still learn! But needless to say the buzz of excitement is still heavy for me. And I didn’t even get into his arcade mode art phewwwww l’ll put those in a separate post. I also want to say that I love the potential that with Bison’s current disinterest it opens an opportunity to see versions of Vega and Balrog without their direct involvement with Shadaloo, something I would love to see.

Overall though I’m glad that amnesia or not Bison is still himself in the best ways possible and I have so many ideas for stuff especially revolving around my oc now. In the meantime just…just look at him <33

[missnobodymadness]

Ayo hope you are having a great day! Im no good in asks but i had one in mind, and an oc interaction question:

I see that Myline survives. Did she had any reaction to losing any of the Akatsuki members? Or she didnt react at all?

Also if she were to meet Rinto as a fellow member, and get to know him, what would she think of him??

Hiii!

First of all I'd like to thank you for the ask, it really means a lot to me to see people showing some interest on my characters. ♥

And no worries! Your asks were actually very interesting and I am happy to answer them as best as I can!

Yes, Myline survives and is still alive in Boruto! While she can be seen as a stoic person, Myline actually feels a bit too much, she was just forced to oppress her emotions all her life. Despite being hard to approach, she actually had some very strong bonds within the Akatsuki organization, such as Konan, Nagato, Itachi, Deidara and Kisame. Itachi death destroyed her, she had lost her soul mate after all. Unfortunately for her, she had no time to rest and proccess his loss properly because she had to focus on her pregnancy as she was very close to give birth at the time, she tried to keep going as best as she could, for both of them and her child.

Since these two deaths happened pretty close to each other, she only finds out about Deidara's death when she gets back looking for Obito. She took it badly and got really mad as she felt that Deidara's death was totally unnecessary and could have been avoided if he wasn't so petty, she then remembered their fights and how she always used to tell him that his stubbornness and spiteful nature would be his demise and finally allowed herself to cry a bit.

Shortly after she loses Nagato, Kisame and then Konan, her bond with Nagato and Konan, especially the latter, was really strong, possibly as strong as Itachi's. Once again she felt like she was being punished for everything bad she had done in her life, she couldn't believe she had just lost her best friend Konan, her inspiration Nagato and the guy she loved to have deeper conversations with, aka Kisame, but little did she know that Konan had met her demise at Obito's hands. As always, she directed her growing hate towards the wrong person and village because she unfortunately does that a lot, she didn't do anything to aveng due to her current vulnerability state and she regrets it because her hate still consumes her sometimes.

Also, Obito, he pretty much raised her after Madara's death, so she had a bond with him, a toxic one because of how abusive he was to her, but still a bond. Their bond was very fragile at the time, as she had found out what truly happened to her best friend very recently. At the time of his death she was already trapped under the Infinite Tsukuyomi genjutsu, she didn't saw it happen but eventually felt some grief for him once everything ended, mostly because she still felt she owed him her life.

Overall we can see by her actions in Boruto that she has somehow developed some sort of a traumatic response to all these losses (example: Avoiding interacting with people, running away even though she was finally starting to be more welcome in Konoha, etc), she surely needed time to proccess everything, it was all too fast and during her most vulnerable moment (aka pregnancy and motherhood), because of that and the inability to mourn, everything accumulated, building anger, frustration and loneliness inside her.

As for her interaction with Rinto if they ever met, I feel like at first she wouldn't be very friendly, but that's not Rinto's fault at all, she just has too many layers to peel and it takes some time to get under them. It also depends on the situation, but Rinto has a big advantage with Myline: His relationship with Itachi and Kisame. I feel like his bond with them would help making their interactions easier as they would have a common ground for starters. Myline would certainly appreciate the fact that Rinto cares about them enough to get protective over them. Something that I am sure Myline would be amazed to see is Rinto's shapeshifting abilities!

According to the information you once gave me, Rinto seems to be a respectful person, or at least respectful towards his Akatsuki fellow members, which is something Myline really appreciates so I feel like they'd respect each other mutually and get along even if only casually, bonus points if Rinto is into deep conversations and books, then she'd probably love him and spend some time discussing interesting topics and perspectives. xD The good thing about Myline is that if Rinto manages to get under her layers, he will have a very loyal friend for the rest of his or her life (depending on who would die first of course eheh) as Myline is extremely loyal to the ones she cares about.

They are both driven by something in common though: Protecting the ones they care and love. Myline would certainly respect that.

ALSOOO, if I remember right, Rinto doesn't get along with Hidan either, right? Because I can already imagine Myline and Rinto reforcing each other stances about him during the Akatsuki reunions/meetings just to get on his nerves and then blame him when things escalate. LMAO

Thank you so so much once again, I had lots of fun answering these questions! :D

[djeterg19]

There seems to be a contention that Only Friends is not a romance. And indeed it is absolutely not capital R romance. It is a drama with a love story. First, it's important to understand that a romance and a love story are not interchangeable. A capital R romance, per the RWA(an organization that we shall not discuss due to a myriad of reasons that are not important here), that has two main components. First, the main plot centers around individuals falling in love and struggling to make the relationship work. Second, it has an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending which most aficionados of the genre simplfy to mean it has either a hea(happily ever after) or hfn(happy for now). And well Only Friends is not this. At all.

Now what is a love story? This is a sticking point because some people think all love stories should be considered romances. Isn't love and romance the same thing? No, not when we are discussing literature or movies/tv and genre distinctions. A love story can be part of any drama, or fantasy, or scfi. The romance is not the main focus of the story. It's just one element of the story. Also, the characters tend to be more complicated and flawed and a happy ending is not guaranteed. Often in a love story, the couple will get together early on but external forces(*cough*) separate them and that may or may not prevent them from ending up together since a happy ending is not guaranteed in a love story(any of this sounding familiar?).

Why do I think that TopMew is in a love story that is going to have a happy ending? First, they got together fairly early. Their main conflict was caused by an external force(Boston lying/manipulating Top into cheating). Their breakup was much earlier than in any romance(that waits until the third act which is why there's a dreaded 11th episode breakup/drama in BLs which are capital R romances). I literally wished for a breakup when we got one because that would give the show time to rebuild the relationship. We have four episodes left and there are signs that both are still in love and yearning for each other despite the pain they are in. Mew asking Top why he had to be an asshole is a sign that he still loves Top. That they would still be together without it. The song at the end of episode 8 starts playing as Top is staring down at Mew has the following lyrics play over their scenes:

The season is about to alter, The storm will soon be over

But it's not just the wind that will disappear

It takes you with it, far away from here

What am I doing after this, Is resist that strong wind

No matter how much pain I must take in

I'll wait until you are back by my side

You keep my dreams so much alive

I insist on waiting, I will be here loving

To keep us together, I'll do anything

It cuts away for the montage and comes back to Top and Mew and ends with the following lyrics:

I'll wait until you are back by my side

You keep my dreams so much alive

Now I know many people did not view that as a romantic scene for various reasons but...if it was not intended that way, then Jojo and the team picked the absolutely wrong song with the wrong lyrics if they were not trying to signal there is hope for this relationship to survive. And the music has been so well chosen this series I doubt that there could be such a serious miscommunication in intend with this song. This is the ending shot of the episode:

And that speaks volumes in my opinion.

[small-witch-big-hat]

I am catching up on Re Dracula and I find myself wondering, what might have happened if, once Lucy started showing the signs of change, they gave her more transfusions than just Quincey.

Could she have been saved, in any degree? Would she have just died and turned anyway, or would she have turned vampiric while still staying alive - sweet Lucy while awake, demonic while asleep?

The text comments on the change in her thinking and behavior while she still lives, like two minds in one body. Stoker never makes it clear whether the vampirism is something that changes how the soul thinks and acts like some sort of mind control, or whether it's literally some kind of demonic parasite inhabiting the body - if the latter, then it still has access to the person's memories, and judging by Dracula, seems to still believe itself the person.

So, we've got some evidence that could support either possibility, and nothing to conclusively rule one or the other out.

If Lucy had lived - half changed as she was - could they have kept her demon down, tamed with transfusions of willing blood? Could she have married Arthur, and lived, changed and cursed but still with room for happiness?

Even in Dracula, is there room for a vampire to live in peace, if only theoretically?

Look, too, to Jonathan Harker. It's forever left unclear whether Dracula fed from him, though there are some strong implications - and he sees physical changes as well, though the characters attribute them to other factors (the fear, the shock, the privations of his escape). He, too lost weight, became haggard and drawn, and only slowly returned to a shadow of his former appearance - though white of hair (compare the blonde of Lucy!) and much thinner than before.

Jonathan, too, acted strangely after his time with Dracula. The characters speak of "brain fever", and of him being delirious - while he was under the care of a nun, in a religious hospital - holy ground, or something like it? Were they burning out vampirism already festering in him, without ever knowing it?

This is, of course, only a few of the parallels between Lucy and Jonathan through the text, the most obvious being Mina's love for them both. This supports my hypothesis that Jonathan Harker is strongly transfem-coded, and in this essay I will

[woodswolf]

Not sure how to phrase this in a complimentary way but I am really glad Captain Olimar isn't a real person with real feelings because I think your righteously vicious takedowns of his character would fucking kill him. Very very good. Extremely good.

(undoubtedly re: these tags)

oh listen anon. listen. listen listen listen listen listen:

did i ever say i wasn't going to say them to his face?

this is literally four sequels down the line (at least by the order im writing them) but the reckoning is coming. this guy is going to be forced to choose between his unwillingness to change in any way that matters and his journey and struggle meaning anything at all. he has never cared about the gun to his own head, but if he doesn't start he's never going to be happy. it takes a push with him, an impulse: something stronger than the friction holding him in his grating routines and comfortable, familiar miseries; something strong enough to overpower his every sense of shame.

dogs leading dogs as it is now is about knowledge and the learning of it and what that knowledge can help its adherents achieve. it's about two very flawed people who come together to mutually recognize the other's personhood, as unconventional as it may seem from their own perspective, and how that knowledge of personhood obtained during that quest can save them. how they can both use that knowledge to alter their perspectives, and how they can learn from each other as they do so: the pikmin learning independence, and olimar learning to accept change.

the problem is that olimar doesn't learn that. olimar learns just about the opposite of that, in fact. and it's going to take all of DLD2, and all of DLD3, and a good amount of DLD4 before anyone will have the will to scream at him with a gun to something he actually cares about, because god forbid would it ever be himself.

this guy is going to get skinned alive by something that knows him better than he knows himself. and he can either sit there and take it, or he can fight back. so it's a shame that he never fights under improbable odds, only the impossible or the certain. maybe if someone drove that like a railroad spike through his stupid stubborn skull he'd actually have a chance.

(on a less literarized note, id just like to say that pikmin 3 is a god tier character study for olimar because it takes a really special kind of person to get that fucked over by their own individual hubris, and an even more special kind of person for Olimar's Comeback to happen at all. (but that's for DLDP3, and by the time DLDP3 rolls around our single most important canon divergence has grown into such a canyon that Olimar's Comeback won't even happen at all. but you didn't hear that from me))

(and on a comedic yet entirely unexaggerated note, this guy's got 99 problems and the various methods by which he lies to himself to maintain a facade of normalcy and self-satisfaction and generally his inability to level with himself that everything wrong in his life is not fine is about 98 of them.)

[jinxquickfoot]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @16woodsequ. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

82!! And that's counting the one-shot collections as 1 fic.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,572,787

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still in Marvel, although I've had a few ideas around Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss that I probably would written if my MCU WIP list wasn't so impossibly long.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness

Let's Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends!

The One Where Peter is Tony's Weakness

You're Always Spider-Man

The One Where Clint is Tony's Weakness

You guys really like it when I kidnap Peter Parker.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Of course!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Worst Thing, it's the only ending I wouldn't call 'happy'. I labelled it 'bittersweet' instead, which I think is fitting. Actually Dollhouse also is a strong contender.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Let's Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends! teeters on the edge of soppy. Everyone is alive post-Endgame, Peter gets a prom with all the Avengers and his high school friends, and the Spider-Kid in question gets a whole month of rest.

In hindsight, I wrote that fic during pretty extreme burnout (that I am now thankfully over), and I can see my need for rest and care just bleeding through Peter in those final chapters. I'm so grateful we both got what we needed.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not for a long time, since the debates over Civil War have... if not settled, maybe don't hold as much interest as they used to.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet, but I think I might be brave and include some Winterhawk smut in the Heart of Stone series.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I've come across one or two with eerily similar premises and wondered, but I've never followed up. Tropes are tropes for a reason.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not a translation but Hair is Everything has a podfic!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many! And tried to many at the same time which was a mistake, but I'm so glad I've gotten to work with so many incredible authors:

The One Where Clint is Steve's Weakness with @16woodsequ

The One Where T'Challa is Shuri's Weakness with @fluencca

The One Where Bruce is Thor's Weakness with @onwardmeteors

The One Where Peter is Peter's Weakness with @spagbol99

The One Where Bucky is Steve's Weakness with @usaonetwothree

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Winterhawk aka Clint/Bucky has my heart forever and ever, but I have a soft spot for Clint/Matt and Wanda/Vision as well. Outside of Marvel, I love reading for Stede/Ed, Husk/Angel, Caleb/Essek and Buck/Eddie.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

If I've posted it, I'll finish it (I swear, I know I haven't touched the Whumptoberverse in three years). I do have an outline for something called the Amendment trilogy which I thought had some promise, but I've done so many Civil War Fix-Its now I doubt it has anything original to say these days.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't think my plot twists are too shabby, and I like to think that I find new things to say about well-worn characters and tropes. I'm also pretty damn good at structure, but that's because I studied and practised the hell out of it. Oh and occasionally I like to think I'm funny, especially when writing for Tony.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I focus too much on getting a fic done than letting it breathe. I've been told several times the ending to The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness is disappointing, and I agree. I was ready to get out of there so I Game of Throned it instead of spending a good 5-10 chapters wrapping that fic up properly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Short bits are fine if you pop the translation in the end notes. If not, I like to just say something like, "He switched to Russian [continues dialogue in English]."

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCU and we're still going, baby.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

AH okay I want to include all those I co-wrote but that feels like cheating, because what I like about those fics is often what other people brought to them.

I used to say Budapest and that's still a strong contender. But I actually love The One Where Clint is Sam's Weakness, specifically the final chapter. The idea of mistakes and regrets and choices not making you who you are is a very personal thing for me. Clint saying "You’re my hero, Kate." might be my favorite line I've ever written in a fic. Sometimes the simplest ones are the best.

Low pressure tag: @fluencca @usaonetwothree @queenofalotofdifferentworlds @spagbol99 @teeelsie-posts

[yamcha-thelonewolf]

How would you feel if Toriyama made Yamcha a fighter again and was actually stronger this time? I'll always be thinking how when he smacked Beerus in the back he made a face. What if he wasn't taken just by surprise that he did it but by the power behind it?

Like what if Toriyama did Yamcha dirty and decided he's not strong unless he does not want to fight?

Good question. Yamcha is still a fighter, for me. He never really gave up, even though what DBS showed us seems to say otherwise. I can't accept the fact that he threw in the towel, that was never like him. Yamcha always shows to us, in his own way, that he still has a passion for martial arts. Get it? Martial arts. That thing that long ago in Dragon Ball was the leitmotif of the whole story.

However, I don't think Yamcha has really stopped believing in his potential. It is virtually impossible to do so after reaching such a power level that makes him literally one of the strongest human beings in the world. Plus if we consider the fact that, between him, Tien and Kuririn, Yamcha's features are the most "normal" (he's got a nose and only two eyes) we can also safely say that Yamcha is the strongest human being in the world.

Okay, this is a bit of nonsense that I sometimes like to bring up.... But think about it, it might as well be so if we have to be really precise.

«JUST LOOK HOW SERIOUS HUMAN MY FACE IS!»

So, I would just be happy if his warrior attitude, that was never really buried, was put on display again. Even a little sentence, a hint, a tiny scene where he is seen fighting or training with one of his friends... That would be enough for me.

Yeah, something like that... Dragon Buddies.

For example, I am so glad that he made his return in Moro Arc as a Z-Fighter; I would like to see the animated version of his moment. Unfortunately, I think this is not the beginning of his rebirth. I have always thought that Yamcha's only enemy is Yamcha himself, and partly so, but the truth is that the real villain of his story is Akira Toriyama himself. It pains me to admit it, but it is so. I can't understand why he is pandering so much to the idiocy of the DB fandom making fun of Yamcha.

Yamcha laughing at memes about Yamcha knowing that he could destroy everyone with one finger.

The hell, even in Majin Buu Arc he was amazing. All right, I know, they're fillers, but you want me to be honest? The fillers took better care of him than the canon episodes and the manga. I mean, at the beginning he was presented to us as a 40-year-old man who had now given up martial arts for good, wearing a banana yellow suit, expensive and sadly unsuitable for battles. He just doesn't seem to want to hear about it. But then, after several episodes of him goofing off or being a fanboy in the stands, like everyone else Yamcha dies, and it is in the afterlife that his will to fight is reawakened after so long. As it was with King Kai before. For those who have followed him from the beginning of Dragon Ball, to be able to see Yamcha again happy, excited and strong, with his uniform on like the old days, is a joy to behold.

Relative joy.

Guys, I can't accept the fact that Yamcha has to be dead to feel even more alive, or even worse that his existence depends only on fillers. Yes, I know, it's still better than nothing, though...

Another good job was also done by the OVA Dragon Ball: The Return of Son Goku and Friends!, probably the last work that remembers that Yamcha also exists and especially treats him as a very valuable fighter. I'll talk about it.

This moment is still one of my favorite. It is one of the most badass things about Yamcha, plus it reminds me so much of a scene where Tarzan does the same...

Look! On one side we have the ape man (no, not a saiyan), on the other side the wolf man... Damn, I love it! Well, maybe I'm digressing, but it is curious to notice how the act of undressing is cathartic for both characters. They both strip off a garment that does not really belong to them and wildly bring out their true nature, their animal instincts, but most of all their desire to protect those they love. That's Yamcha. After all, who says Yamcha has to save the world to redeem himself as a character? He can also do so by protecting someone. That is something he can do very well, and I will prove it to you. Anyway, I sincerely hope that his role in the world of Dragon Ball will also be recognized in DBS. I also hope he can use again even his sword, but unfortunately he became a meme and, apart from the Moro Arc, we only saw him slaughtered and humiliated even by his own friends. This is the saddest thing that could have happened, also because in OG Dragon Ball it would NEVER have happened. There is no more demeaning thing than seeing Goku completely ignore one of his close friends, one of the first, and treat him as if he were worth less than zero. Seriously... WTF?! The Goku I love would never have done that.

Alright, that's the real Goku! Thank you!

I mean, maybe Goku wouldn't have invited him to the Tournament anyway, but at least he would have stopped in front of him to say a few comfortably words. As he once did.

Because, you know, that's what you do with friends and those who have been there for you in the good and in the worst of times. Let us remember that Yamcha took care of Goku together with Chichi when the virus struck him in the heart...

Well, I try hard to think that this is all a joke, though I doubt it. I strive to think that the whole attitude that the characters have had in DBS toward Yamcha is just the result of a studied plan to piss him off and spur him to undress again and howl like he used to. But... I know it's not.

Therefore, even though Moro Arc slightly brought our Z warrior back to the forefront and confirmed that Yamcha is still very strong, I still do not consider myself satisfied. What I would like more than anything else is just a confrontation between him and the protagonist, Goku, in which the saiyan helps him believe in himself again. And if it is not Goku, someone else is fine as long as Yamcha is reconsidered with dignity.

I don't think I'm asking for that much. Goku has helped so many people, dinosaurs, mice, monkeys, strangers he has met only once in his life, even bad guys... So why not help the first character who consciously believed in his abilities?

...Guess I have started a new topic. I will definitely talk about the relationship between Yamcha and Goku as soon as I can. Being the main character, a positive assessment of Yamcha by Goku could change the current idea of this character and make him much stronger as a result. I mean, Goku is the Mr. Satan of the real world. What he says is the truth, so it is only up to him to make sure that Yamcha can come back stronger than before.

Thanks for asking! 💕

[lolamarlowe65]

𝓘𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 //James Hetfield

“The house next door was just sold, i hope the new neighbour will be nice.”

part eight of ? part seven

disclaimers: smut, age gap (modern day james), slow burn, cursing, smoking, drinking, kissing, mentions of a size kink, mentions of death, big girls stuff nsfw

Wattpad link

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

Chapter 8 - Unexpected turn

I didn't sleep much. Just enough to get me through the day. My mind was occupied with James's picture. During the night I grabbed my phone a few times just to look at it. I am the only one in the world who has this picture. It feels like a part of him; a very public character; is only for me and me only. I turned around in my bed thinking about what could have been his reaction to my picture. I thought that what I sent was too much for a slight moment but given the lingering lust we have for each other, I doubt that. He makes me so alive and I won't regret at least trying. I think so much and feel so much and nothing has even happened between us. I can't help but imagine being with him, at his side, not only for lust but also for him.

I'm trying my best to look alive at work. Pamela is in a bad mood. She actually entered the pharmacy and threw some papers on the floor screaming "motherfucker". She never tells me anything about her personal life and considering her pissy mood I won't dare ask.

The day is slow, it's like it will never end! The store is closed because we had inventory to do, then we've got deliveries and now we're cleaning and stocking back the shelves. I feel like I am dragged into the hell of one of Pamela's manic episodes. But frankly, it occupies my mind.

"- Hey Ann, can you put the TV on?! Like a music channel or something?!" Pamela asks me.

"- Yeah for sure!" i answer.

There's a TV on one of the shelves behind the counter, it's mostly used for commercials and stuff. Those give you headaches all the time and that's why I hate this TV. Except on inventory day, we put it on for music. It goes from shitty music videos to the old music I am so fond of up to interviews and lives. Right now there's this loud guy who's talking about some new exclusive interview with Metallica coming up next. Wait? Metallica?! I turn the sound up to be able to hear clearly. This must be the interview James was in San Francisco for.

"- Hey guys how are y'all doing?" the journalist asks.

Oh god, it is. I can see James clearly, he is the same. He doesn't put up a character or anything. I mean to me he is already very aloof and strong minded so I guess you don't need to change a thing when you're the frontman of a metal band. The fact is, his sweet smile and good heart doesn't disappear either. He mixes them both so well and stays himself. His voice is calm and his words are well chosen, it reminds me of how much I love talking to him. It makes me so happy. I hope I will see him lost in his music one day. Seeing him play must say so many more things.

I recognise Kirk next to him, he looks and sounds the same as when I met him. And the two other guys must be Lars and Robert. Who is who tho? Who is the one that would look the most like an hyperactive drummer boy? I could check but I'll let it go so I can discover it when time comes. If it ever comes. James looks so busy. They are passionately talking about their new upcoming album and their tour next year. I don't know if I will see him as much as I do today and this thought makes me sad. All the people I have an attachment to all go away at some point. I shouldn't think about it. I don't even know what I exactly feel about James. I shake my head around trying to get back to my work and get those thoughts out of my head.

"- So last but not least. James this question might be too personal but we know things changed around in your personal life. We'd love to know how things are going?" the reporter asked James.

I turn my head around. What a shitty question. "Personal life". It means what it says for Christ's sake! Still, I'd love to hear the answer. Just morbid curiosity. From what Stacy told me, I finally remember he got a divorce not long ago. I don't why but this information came back to mind now. Then he moved out here but we never talked about it and as much as I'd love to know about it in a more intimate setting and not through a very public interview I can't stop but listening to the answer. He is very secretive about it so I can't stop thinking he doesn't know what he feels about all that. He has this whole life build for himself, what could he possibly find interesting about a young chick like me? I know he's not doing all that just for my ass, but then, why?

"- Well man, things were complicated at first but I think I'm good now. Let's say "things" took an unexpected turn." James smiles and laughs slightly.

"- Oh! Interesting and are we going to know about this "unexpected turn" soon?" the reporter asks back.

"- That I can't tell you, but I sure hope." James smiles.

I think I turned red. I cannot be what he is talking about. Nah I can't. I'm not the centre of the world, even more of his. I play with his necklace around my neck trying to get all this out of my head.

"- Haha anyway thank you guys for accepting this interview, I know y'all are pretty busy those times." the journalist says before turning his head to look at the camera. "Stay tuned on this channel tomorrow night. Metallica is playing live for charity and we are here to retransmit it! See y'all tomorrow!"

They're playing tomorrow night? I think I will watch the live. I just want to see how he looks while playing, how they look as a band. I need to see this.

"- Hey Ann, the fuck you doing?" i hear Pam coldly saying. 

"- Yeah sorry Pam, coming right up." i answer.

She is right on this point, I just lost myself in my thoughts and the interview for a good amount of time. Let's go back to work. Time is so slow I don't know when I'll get out of here. I better work without a thought in my head to make it go faster.

I finally ended my shift and went to the hospital right away. Early in the morning the hospital called and asked my grandmother to come right away. Apparently, something in her analysis was not clear, they needed her to retake it. Their tone was pressed and I just hope it's nothing bad. Her health is declining those days and I was happy to know nothing was bad in her analysis but apparently my rest was short.

As I arrive I immediately go to my grandmother. They set her up in a room. Just for simple analysis? This definitely doesn't look good.

"- Are you okay grandma?" i ask, voice trembling.

I go and hug her tightly. I need her. I don't want anything bad happening to her. I just wouldn't be able to take it.

"- I am okay sweetheart. I promise." she says sweetly, caressing my head.

"- Don't make me a false promise. You know I couldn't take it." i answer, almost crying.

I can feel that something isn't right. I can feel my grandmother's anxiety through her body. I know she's trying to make me feel better. I know she's telling me to calm myself. But I can't. She's all I have left.

A doctor walks in the room and asks me to talk privately.

"- How is she doing?" i ask.

"- Well, I will be honest with you. Her arthritis is getting worse. There is a high chance she will not be able to walk anymore." he says unbothered, i almost started crying. "We want to keep her here on observation so we can figure out if we can operate on her and to make sure it doesn't spread to her other members." he continues.

"- Will she ever go home?" i ask.

"- Not constantly. It will be better for her if she stays here at the hospital for the time being. I gather some of her friends are also here, we will make sure she has contacts with them and that you can come see her everyday. But it will be better if she stays here."

"- You don't look very optimistic." i say.

"- I'm sorry miss." he answers, not sorry.

The doctor goes away after handing me the papers I need to sign for her admission. I won't do anything without asking my grandmother. My mom asked to get her out of the hospital in her last weeks. She knew she wouldn't make it and chose to stay by our side in the house. Without her asking me, I wouldn't have done anything. My grandma deserves this choice. The doctor was not very optimistic. She is probably going to have her last birthday this year. I am defeated. I want to stay optimistic, to say to myself she is gonna be okay and everything is gonna come back to normal, but I know it's not the case. Preparing myself for this eventuality actually helps me with dealing with it all. I go back to her room and sit next to her on her bed.

"- The doctor wants you to stay here until then." i say, crushed, putting my head on her shoulder.

"- It's okay sweetheart. I will stay here." she answers.

I let out a sob. Today should have been a good day. But it's not. My grandmother tries her best to move around to cup my face with her hands.

"- Ann. My beautiful Ann." she says, putting strands of my hair behind my ear. "You are a smart young woman. I know you understood this visit at the hospital will probably be my last. It's been a few months my health is not doing great and your mother knew it too. Your mother knew I would leave you not long after she did but I promise you sweetheart." her voice trembled. "I promise we will always be with you. Forever and ever. I know you will figure your life out. I know you will find someone who will love you as much as your mother and I do. It's gonna be hard, but I don't want to see my beautiful baby girl losing herself in false hope." she wipes a tear off my face. "I love you. I love you so much. Be happy." she says before finaling. "In the meantime, don't stay here all the time. Come see me everyday, but once you get out, live your life. I want to see you happy during my last moments." 

I'm crying so much. I can't accept the truth of this. I just can't.

"- Grandma... I don't want to lose you. I love you, stay with me." i sob.

She puts her forehead against mine and we cry together. Even if she cries like me, she keeps on her sweet smile, this smile that would always reassure me. That would always cheer me up and make me go on. It still does now. Even if it's hard. I will respect her wishes. I will try to live out of here. I will come see her and change her mind with my stories for as long as she stays here. I don't know what will happen to me after she's gone. But I will try it. Just for my mom and grandma.

"- My mind is good but my body fails me. I will always exist, I will always be with you. Like your mom is in this beautiful heart of yours." my grandmother reassures me.

"- Did you sign the papers miss?" the doctor comes into the room to say.

"- Don't you see my granddaughter and I are having a discussion? What do you think your mother would think of this young man?!" my grandma interrupts him. "She will give them to you, now leave her be." she adds.

Her response made me laugh. Her mind is still there and in good health. But her body isn't. Like my mom. Knowing that she will keep her character intact until her last breath makes me feel more at peace with all this.

"- Sorry ma'am." the doctor says embarrassed before walking out.

"- Don't let them piss you off. Silly little doctors who think they're better than you because they got a diploma." she rolls her eyes. "Know what you want and get it." she says.

I'm still crying. My head's a mess but I gather myself to sign those papers. Before I get out to hand the papers my grandma calls for me.

"- Darling, get home. Have yourself a peaceful afternoon. Get me my stuff tomorrow will ya? The nurses are very nice, they will take care of me." my grandmother asks me.

"- Are you sure?" i answer.

"- Yes my love. Come here so I can give you a kiss."

I walk toward my grandmother. She gives me a kiss on my forehead and hugs me tightly. Before she lets me out she whispers in my ear.

"- Would you get Stacy, Pamela and James to come here tomorrow sweetheart? I want to give them a word." she asks.

Stacy and Pamela I get but James? What does she want to tell him? It makes James even more important to me knowing that my grandmother thinks so highly of him. Even if I don't know how to ask James I will try. I don't know how he is gonna react.

"- Okay. I will. I can't promise anything for James. He is busy. I'll have to catch him before then."

"- I am sure you will, love." she smiles, hinting something.

She let go of me and I got out of the room holding tears in the corner of my eyes. Now, each time I will get out of this room I will not be able to know if this is the last time I see her. But I need to keep my head high and do what she asked me. Before heading out, I give back the papers to the doctor. I know James is coming back soon, I told him I would see him today but I don't know if I actually will. Deep within myself, I hope I will. I want him to tell me everything's okay. I want to open this pain of mine to him.

When I get home I lay down on the couch. I don't want to cry so I look at the ceiling with empty eyes while smoking a cigarette. This house is empty without her. I think about my future. My grandmother has lived a full life. She went for her passion, she travelled all around the world and met my grandpa, she had a kid, which she always wanted to have but she never put her work and passion aside. Do I want to travel? How to live off of your passion? Do I want kids? I don't know. My mom would tell me to stop thinking so much, she would say that I will see what will happen when it will happen. She is right. But I'm sure of only one thing right now: I will keep on living to make these two women who made me who I am proud. I just hate the fact that I am so alone in this. Putting my hand on my collar bone to touch the necklace I open my messages, hoping to see one of James, but nothing. He has seen my message. It's written he saw it. I think I'm gonna break down.

I hear a knock on the door and go up slowly to open it.

"- Coming!" i open the door.

"- Hey Anna." James expresses calmly.

"- Ja... James." i say, surprised.

"- Are you okay?" he asks me right away.

I didn't even answer him. I just threw myself into his arms. I hold him tightly by the chest. Maybe it's too much and he will reject me but I didn't think about it, I just needed to do it. James doesn't move, he doesn't do anything. I shouldn't have done that. I try to go back and stop hugging him but James holds me back immediately into his arms. One of his hands is holding tightly by the waist and the other is in the back of my head. My head rests against his chest and I can hear his heart ringing. It goes fast but peacefully. I'm pretty sure his music is not as beautiful as this sound. I can feel him trying to move around. He doesn't let me go but he makes me understand to take a step back so he can close the door behind him. That's better. It's more intimate and makes me feel more at ease. He doesn't say anything and just holds me without forcing me to talk.

"- My grandma. She has to stay in the hospital. She probably doesn't have long anymore." i say, very softly.

"- Oh Anna." James sight. "Everything's gonna be okay." he holds me tighter.

James lets me out of his arms just to hold me lightly. Looking at me, he studies me, trying to get how I react.

"- You are the most courageous woman I know. And I'm sure your grandmother is the first to think it. I know you will be okay. I know she will be okay. Wherever she goes. It's gonna be hard. I know. But your mind is strong and you will keep her in your heart, always."

"- Thank you James." i say, sweetly.

"- Hey." he says, putting his hand on my cheek. "I know that saying those words won't heal you or make anything better but I'm saying them to you to tell you I'm here." he smiles. "I'm here for you. If you want it and whenever you need it."

I look up to him and my eyes dive into his. How happy I am to have him around. Somehow, it makes my grief more peaceful. Because I shared it with him. Because he is here for me. I had very few people around me when my mom died. Apart from my grandmother, Stacy and Pamela. They all helped me with their presence. Having them around made me more tranquil but having James around I feel protected. I didn't know I needed to feel protected until today, but I do. I want to feel like I have a shield that's not made with my survival instinct. A shield that's made of comfort and hope and mostly a strong shield that you wouldn't dare to try and break. James is that. He is comforting, he gives me hope and he's strong enough to kick anybody's ass. I'm pretty sure, at the very least, his mind is strong, and so is he. And as long as he allows me around him, I will see him as such. James isn't only that for me, well, not the only thing I want him to be but that's still too complicated to say. I love the way he is here for me. I don't know if I'm courageous but I will try.

"- Let me get you something to drink, Anna." he says, looking for the kitchen.

I draw a mellow smile, letting out a small laugh.

"- Here James." i show, walking toward it.

As we walk into the kitchen I go and get two glasses out of the cupboard. When I try to reach for the bottle in the fridge James stops me.

"- Let me do it. Sit down and ease your mind." he presses.

I nod and sit down at the table. How sweet.

"- My grandmother... she wants to see you tomorrow." i remember.

"- I'll be there." he answers immediately. "She will kick my ass if I don't come so I'll be there." he then jokes.

I love the way he jokes around to make me cheer up. And it works like a charm because it does make me laugh. She will kick his ass tho. Tomorrow night, James is supposed to play live and I know it. Now, I don't know too much about the organisation of a metal concert but I'm pretty sure his day will be quite busy. Yet he accepted right away without any condition. While I'm getting lost in my thoughts James pours me a drink and gives me the glass.

"- Thank you." i smile.

James leans himself against the kitchen counter in front of me and locks his gaze on me. The kitchen is not very big, having him here, like this, makes it feel even more tiny. Not in an anxious way at all, in a tensful way. It's like the walls are shrinking because the room wants us close. I'd love to nestle myself into his arms and stay here for hours. Feeling his heartbeat, reminding me that I have to keep on and make mine beat as peacefully as his. But I can't. I won't dare trying. The quick hug I had from him minutes ago was so intense I can barely hold on. He made me feel better just with his arms, he made me forget for a brief amount of time about this day. Made me forget about her leaving me. James observes me, probably wondering what I am blabbering about in my head.

"- I saw the interview." i interrupt my own head saying.

"- Did you?" he smiles.

"- The one you did yesterday in San Francisco. It was on this morning at the pharmacy."

"- And what did you think about it?" he answers, keeping on his smile.

"- Well, I still don't get who's Lars and who's Robert but I recognised Kirk. See, I'm becoming a fan. I'm getting there." i silently laugh.

"- You'd be the best fan we've ever had." he smirks. "But I'm already jealous of Kirk so retard the moment you get to know the two others." he jests.

His dumb joke let out of me an honest laugh. I'm also a hundred percent sure I'm burning red. I know he isn't actually jealous, and that would be weird if he was, trust me, but hinting a certain attachment to me by making these kinds of jokes makes me feel so confused.

"- I loved the way you talked. I love the way you don't change from the James I know. Even if I don't know you much yet. You are so sure of yourself and you show it by using a serene tone, never by bragging or thinking you are better than the ones around you. I love that about you." i say, calmly, James keeping his gaze locked on me. "I don't know much about your music but you sounded so passionate. I'm also glad you said things we're doing okay for you. Truly." i conclude.

I think again about "the unexpected turn" he talked about earlier. I'd loved to know what he was precisely talking about. My heart tells me I am, but my reason tells me that I'm giving myself delusions. But yet, there's the necklace, the photo I have of him, all of this that I can't forget about.

James puts his glass aside next to him and straightens up from the counter. I see him slowly walk towards me. This must be about four steps but it feels like twenty. Sitting on my chair, he approaches me and puts two of his fingers under my chin.

His hand.

He lifts my head up so I can look at him. James is already so tall, looking at him from this perspective makes me feel so weak. I don't have a size kink. I swear. And I'm not even "petite"! He is just so much. So much of him. So much that I want. My hand immediately goes to his necklace around my neck. Our eyes connecting on each other's gaze.

"- You know that you are my "unexpected turn"? Right?" James states.

I take a heavy breath. I think my heart skipped a beat. James looks entranced by me. His eyes glimmer a different light. Something changed in the air. Something that feels like the whiff of his breath in my neck I felt the other day. My heart was right. He was talking about me. He sees me in his future. When he said he would be here for me he knew he wanted my heart. His determination is obvious. I can see it in his eyes. But I can see he is scared. I can see he doesn't know how I will react. I get to see a side of him that I would have never guessed about the first time I saw him. He is so beautiful.

So fucking beautiful.

Suddenly my head moves up slightly, desperately trying to reach him. James's head does move toward mine too and I feel his hand slide slowly in the back of my head, in between my hair, helping me to stand up, pulling me toward him. In between paths, him and I trying to reach each other our lips connect. He kisses my lips passionately, holding onto me like he is afraid I'd disappear. But I'm not going anywhere, I have never felt something like this. Lust, romance, whatever. Time stopped at the moment we connected. My hand goes in the back of his neck, trying to reassure him. Telling him, "I'm not going anywhere." His body straightens up and moves me so I can stand up. At this moment, our lips disconnect so we can take a breath, but those seconds must have felt like hours because we kissed again as soon as we took one breath like we are starving without each other. James pushes me against the counter behind me and I push his head even closer to me with my hand in the back of his head as a way of telling him to deepen the kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I let his tongue dance with mine. Grabbing my waist he pushes me back even further and I hear him grunt before he sits me down on the counter. One of his hands stays on my waist and the other goes in the back of my neck.

This is the best thing I've ever felt. I wish time would stop and we could stay like this forever.

"- Last night." James says, in between kisses and out of breath. "I thought I was going crazy when I saw your picture." he kisses me deeply. "I understood. I knew I had to come to you. All the reasons I am so entranced by you I could see in this picture. I had to see you." he kisses me again. "I had to tell you. I wouldn't even have dared to think about kissing you but here I am."

"- James..." i whisper.

"- Here I was with my silly picture, thinking I would make you smile, thinking I could make your eyes bliss, before you sent me this and made all my effort go to waste." he pauses and smiles. "You are so talented and so goddamn beautiful." he adds, our eyes locked on each other's.

My mouth opens slightly to express how bewildered I am. "You are so talented and so goddamn beautiful." Nobody has ever told me that. Never. Even more with such passion and honesty. I am speechless. I want him. Everything. I don't even wait before throwing myself in his arms again, kissing and hugging him, giving him the opportunity of giving me a bear hug, that he takes instantly. Such a sudden act. An act that I wanted to do for longer than you can think. Just feeling his lips on mine is better than anything I have done thinking about him.

"- James... I... You..." i try to gather my words.

"- Shhh... It's all about you right now." James answer.

I don't know how to tell him everything. Everything he makes me feel. Everything I want him to do to me and everything I want him to be. He understands me so well and his answers make me even weaker than I already am. I smile and he kisses me again, my hands starting to play with the end of his shirt. I need him so much. I can hear him grunt as he slowly slides his tattooed hand under mine, grabbing my waist roughly, playing with my skin.

"- The neck-" i say, interrupted by the phone in my house that starts to ring. fuck it. "Fuck it..." i whisper.

James stopped kissing me as the phone started to chime but I take his head back to crash him back onto my lips. His hand is still playing with this little parcel of my skin, initiating an indescribable fire into me. He's my fuel, my fire, my desire.

The phone stops to ring but bips, letting the person on the other side of the line leave a message.

"- Hey Ann... It's Stacy... I know you've had a shitty day but I really need you there." i can hear her hesitate. "Well... something happened. I tried your phone but as always, you leave it on silent. If you hear this, just know I left my door unlocked, see you soon!" Stacy concludes.

Her tone is sad and struggling and I feel guilty not hearing my phone ringing. If she had to call on the house phone then she was really desperate. I can feel James's hand let go of my waist to put a messy strand of my hair behind my ear.

"- Go." James says. "She needs you."

"- Are you sure?" i ask.

"- What do you think? Your friend needs you. I don't even have a say in this." he smiles, kissing my lips quickly.

James is such a sweetheart. I don't want this moment to end. But my best friend needs me and I will be here for her. Smiling, I can see him trying to gather his words.

"- Listen Anna. I want to do things right. I want you, but I don't want you to think I just want to play with you." he suspends, studying my expressions. "Let me take you on a date. One date."

"- Yes James. Show me everything about you. Take me anywhere." i answer, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"- Then come to my gig tomorrow night, I want you to see me play. Then the rest of the evening is for you, all for you." he pauses. "I will never accept you not having what you deserve." he concludes, one arm around my waist, one hand playing with my hair. "You deserve a date, you deserve something that's done right."

I nod. Delighted by this news. My whole life is changing and at least I'm glad James is a part of my new world. I want to see him play, I want to have a nice evening with him. I want to know him more deeply. I love the way he talks to me, I can't believe he thinks so highly of me, I can't believe anybody would ever treat me as good as he does in my life. Just for that, I don't wanna let it go. I was afraid my age would be a problem for him, I was afraid it would just be me. But he takes it seriously. And if I didn't have enough proof I can just look at the fire in his eyes, I can just feel his heartbeat. His body and mind work together to show me how honest he is. My eyes glimmering, happy the universe sent him to me in this weird period of my life. "Thank you mom" I say to myself chuckling.

"- Let me drive you at Stacy's." James interrupts, still playing with my hair.

I nod, I don't feel like driving right now. As I'll probably stay over at Stacy's tonight and go to the hospital with her tomorrow, using my car is useless anyway. Having more time with James isn't. Going down the counter I follow James to his car.

The ride is peaceful because I spend it looking at his expressions while he drives and I give him the instructions as to where Stacy lives. When he notices it he lets out a laugh and gives me quick looks trying to stay focused on the road. As we arrive, I thank him and get out of the car. Before I could go, he gets out of the car and asks me to come here. As I get to him, I feel a breeze and hold my arms together. I left home without taking anything other than my bag and I forgot my jacket, even if the weather is hot, the breeze in the evening is still cold. I'll take one of Stacy's for tomorrow, it's okay.

"- Here, take that." James says, putting his leather jacket on my shoulders.

"- I can take one of Stacy's, it's okay James." i smile.

"- I don't care." he teasingly smiles. "You look so good when you wear my things." he adds, looking at the necklace.

"- Okay." i answer, burning red. 

His smell is impregnated on his jacket. I wish I could tease him back by giving him something with my smell on. Giving him my panties maybe is too much now but I would if I could easily take them out. I laugh at my dirty thoughts and I kiss his cheek as a thank you. Before I go James takes my wrist in his hand. This hand of course.

"- Send me a text before you go to sleep, just so I know you are okay and safe because if you don't, I'll come rescue you."

"- Don't tempt me, Mr. Hetfield." i conclude, walking towards Stacy's place.

I can't believe how well he treats me. I can't believe he made me actually feel good on a shitty day like this. I can't believe I will get to have that again tomorrow. I can't believe James is real.

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

A/N : i’m sorry it took me so long to write it, i got sick and all. hope you enjoy it because i loves writing it <33 just imagine living that with james aargh

[loveinamystery]

Oh goody, the worms are alive and angsty today so I guess it is time to post another long blog post on my favourite series.

I really enjoy all of the Shaman King characters. The cast put together by Takei is one of my favourites. Recently, I have come to appreciate Ren more, I have become a Renthusiast if you will.

And as a result, my heart breaks for this little bean. I have some thoughts, and I just need to get them out of my system.

So, let's begin.

Ren-demption

This post will discuss spoilers for the sequels and spin-offs.

There is a tragedy around Ren as a character. Growing up, he was groomed to be a killer, and we know a small part of what his family made him do to train and get stronger. All for the goal of becoming Shaman King and for the Tao family.

The hate and anger which developed in this teenager was so much. Murder meant nothing if it got in the way of his goals. Luckily Ren met Yoh and was able to break the circle of hate. He was able to make the changes before he went too far down the wrong path.

I always thought Ren had a strong burden of guilt for what he did in those younger years, and how he seemed to dedicate his life to writing the wrongs of his past.

It wasn't just about keeping the promise to Hao, but more of something he had to do for his own peace of mind.

It would never be enough. Nothing is ever enough.

But Ren would continue working towards the greater good to correct the mistakes of the past.

But, like I said, it would never be enough.

The reward for trying to make the world a better place? Nothing.

Instead, Ren is faced with losing his wife in a brutal attack in their family home, and sending his son away.

You would think that from all their work to make things right, Ren and Jeanne would be rewarded with a happy life with their family. But the world never works like that, and that's one of the things which is so soul crushing to me.

I think this is also telling for Yoh and Anna too.

They gave up their dream of an easy life in Japan to try and make the world a better place. Their reward? Dying a violent attack and having to leave their son in Japan as they continue with the possible task set by the Shaman King.

They gave up everything and they continued to stumble and fail. The girl who's family abandoned her and the boy who never really knew his father, have to leave their child behind due to the risk of losing him for good.

Now

Let's look at some other characters from the series, their actions and the consequences.

Hao

Now, now, I am a firm member of the church of Hao and I pray many times a day. But I cannot help but feel conflicted about the out come to his story.

I'll mostly focus on his third life. Hao did a lot of questionable stuff in his third life. From buring innocent people alive, murdering families, and killing orphans.

For me, Hao never went through a redemption for his actions. Instead of being brought to order and held accountable for his actions, he is rewarded with the title of Shaman King. Now yes, it was a tournament at the end of the day, and Hao wasn't the only one acting in this way. As mentioned, both Jeanne and Ren killed people in the process of their journeys. But Jeanne and Ren seeked redemption for their actions.

Hao ever had that. You could argue that he hasn't really changed much since becoming Shaman King. He accosted Yoh and Anna for bringing a baby to a battlefield when he is the one who put them there.

What about the lives destroyed prior to the Shaman King fight? Hao brings everyone back but not those who he murdered along the way. Such as Lyserg's parent's. Maybe too much time had passed, but it does raise the question. He is a God at the end of the day, surely he has the power to do that?

Another character I would like to highlight is:

Marco

In my opinion, Marco had a lot to make up for following his actions in the main series.

I hate what he did to Jeanne and Lyserg. I really do think he owes their both an apology and needs to work to fix his wrongs.

Maybe that was his goal with asking for these new powers from Hao. That by becoming a pawn in the battle ahead, he was gaining redemption for his past. But I don't think this is the way he would gain it. I think the only way is through Jeanne and Lyserg. But they don't seem to recognise what he did was wrong and the X Laws still love him so 🤷

It comes across as instead of being told to stay on earth and work to seek redemption for his past sins, he is rewarded by becoming Angel Boi Marco.

And sure, maybe there is a catch which comes with this. Maybe once the battle is over and his redemption complete, he will join the great spirit. But I see it being more likely he will go back to his old form and live his remainder of his life working with the X Charity and Jeanne.

But this is all interesting thoughts which occupy my thoughts and grip at my heart.

Those who continue to work hard to make the world a better place are targeted and forever pushed away from their goal of happiness.

Whereas those who have done wrongs in the past are instead rewarded.

I don't hate it. I enjoy this storytelling method by Takei and I look forward to where he takes the story next on his return to TSS in the Spring.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

I love making these types of posts and talking about Shaman King. I am a little shy and anxious about making them at times. But I really love the series.

Please do not take this as an attack or hate towards the sequels or any of the characters. These are just some thoughts I had, and as mentioned, I am a member of the church of Hao. Even if he is a petty kitty God.

[sandglass-art]

I just discovered your beautiful Neji x Gaara art and I was hooked immediately! That's hard to do because I've been so heavily shipping Gaara with someone else that I didn't think I had it in me to ship Gaara again with someone new.

But this pair?? It's got so much potential!! And I cannot believe I am just now discovering your this rare pair and your art.

Have you thought about doing fanart for Boruto-era Gaara with Neji (he lives AU)? Neji would be so handsome and would be a great father to Shinki.

Hi! Oh my God, do you know that these are the coolest words when someone falls in love with your peering? No, seriously! It's simply impossible to get a stronger compliment. I'm really glad to read this, really! And yes, you're absolutely right, this is a very rare pair. Once I tried to write fan-fictions to somehow fill it. To be honest, I write fragments to the table from time to time and now)

This couple really has a huge potential. Of course, Kishimoto wasn't going to bring them together in any way, but it's nice to try to catch moments from the anime where they can interact. How they look at each other on the exam. How closely Gaara watches Neji. And at the moment of his battle with his sister, he begins to tremble, and Temari notices: "oh no, he is already trembling with excitement." And yes, I understand the message that Gaara is looking for a strong opponent and good blood, and Neji is a great fit. But it still catches him, even so. And the fact that Neji, being from an aristocratic family, with Gaara not to use any suffixes at all even when he becomes a Kazekage. About the selection by Gaara Neji for appointment immediately two ranks higher, you can compose a lot of off-screen stories. And the fact that, on the instructions of the Neji clan often performed missions for Suna alone (as mentioned in the anime), is also nice.

And in general, I really like their interaction (and thought out too). I see them as a couple as allies. Not lovers, but allies. This word suits them better. They are both strong guys, separately significant for society and successful. They will not talk about tenderness and love. Instead, they will show it as much as possible in support, care, sacrifice. They will always stand by each other's side, but in private they can say “you're wrong. You are acting like a fool." This is a strong union. They understand each other and communicate with their eyes: Gaara himself was silent for a long time, I'm sure he reads emotions well. Well, Neji's noticing byakugan is not worth talking about, I think he also perfectly captures small changes. And both are far from stupid.

I guess I lose a lot by not romanticizing them too much. For me, it is considered romantic in their pair training, where you can nail one of them to the ground. Exhausted, in the dust, but contented even with defeat. They will definitely never get married. I don't see that kind of opportunity in the Naruto world at all. For me, they generally do not advertise their relationship. Even if it was accepted in society, it would not be Gaara with the title of Kazekage to mess with it. And not Neji - a brilliant descendant of one of the most respected clans of Konoha. That's probably why I never imagined Neji alive and a father to Shinki. I want the characters to be happy. But with age, it would be more difficult for them to defend their relationship when the clan and title expect something different from you, and the traditions and influence of your actions on others are so strong. To some extent, Neji's death fits me with the fact that Gaara still did not marry. He lost a very important person for himself, but could not betray him even after that. The appearance of Shinki gives a new round in his life, he can finally afford to love and live for someone, while not betraying the memory of Neji. But yes, I'm sure Neji would be great in Boruto)

PS. I love glass in a relationship and dislike it at the same time. For a very long time I want to draw the moment when Gaara sees the corpse of Neji after the war. This story is very vivid and stays in my head for a long time. But I seem to be afraid of him. I'm afraid to draw not as strong as it should be. And I'm afraid to bring this plot into their couple. Once I wrote a story about the two of them, where throughout the whole story I was sure of the ending, when Gaara would have to die. This would be a very logical and necessary outcome. He deserved it. This would also be a strong point. But I couldn't do it. I love this couple too much. What to say: this pair appeared for me somewhere in 2009 and to this day remains the only ship for me. That's why it means so much to me when someone gets into it too.

Thank you for your question and the opportunity to pronounce all these words)

[foreverlilmeowmeow]

Title: Enlistment Horrors

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x f!reader (Slight ot7 x f!reader)

Word Count: 3.5K

Genre: Angst, Sad, Happy

Summary: You and Jin write letters back and forth while he is away, but what happens when life overwhelms you and you end up in a bad place... what happened when a letter you get could end it all..

Warning: Death of character, Suicide or talk of Suicide, Slight Swearing, if there's other things let me know...

You knew the moment was going to happen sooner or later. The company told each individual that they would have to serve their time and that they would be on hiatus because of this. Your eyes scanning the first letter as Jin, your world-wide handsome, had sent you one letting you know that he had made it safe and sound and that the first couple of days of being there weren’t a walk in the park. The letter explained that the next two years were going to be rough, but you had friends, family, and Army to keep you company. The letter now sitting in your lap as you decided to reread it over happily that at least he could write to you when he could. The words almost smeared as this was the umpteenth time you had read your lover's hand writing. The letter precious as it meant everything to you. It was your special letter.

Dear y/n, 

How are you? Are you staying well? I hope you are eating and sleeping as I miss laying next to you on the nights we both struggle. Being here is a struggle. The early hours are taking a toll on me as you would think I would be used to it by now. The smell of morning dew becoming a favorite as it's probably the only thing keeping me sane and not smell the body order of the other men. 

I hope the others are keeping you company… I miss everyone. I miss Army and most of all I miss you. I miss your laugh, your smile, I miss how you feel when standing right next to me. I miss the way you smell too. The sweet perfume you wear and how it reminded me of our first date. Do you remember our first date? It was at the restaurant Namjoon kept telling us to check out. It was pretty bad, but it made good memories.

I hope you are doing well, my love, I hope work isn’t treating you like garbage and that you are keeping busy. I have to go for now, but know I am thinking about you. My sweet love, how I miss you and can’t wait to come home. Stay safe and tell Army and the others I love them. Sweet dreams.

Your WWH, 

Jin 

Tears started to stain the page as this was probably your first and only letter you got when he started. Messages on Weverse were normal when he was allowed to use his phone or laptop, but other than that you hadn’t gotten another letter as he was probably too busy to write. Your eyes glancing at the time as you knew you had to go to bed as Jungkook had his first signing for his new album and you promised you would join him. Your heart aching as you wish Jin was home. You wanted to hold him and kiss him like he was the last man alive. You missed him. You just hope everything was okay. 

~~~~~

Dear World-Wide Handsome, 

How are you? I hope things are going well and that Jungkook and V both have albums out. Do you believe that? Everyone is slowly coming out with solo albums and soon enough it will be a new rotation of solo stuff as I’m sure you had seen something about Namjoon talking about another album and that he was waiting on V’s new one to come out before he even thought about writing another. The three of them are working so hard that I haven’t really seen much of Suga, Jimin, or J-Hope, but whatever the three are up to, I can promise you they are doing well and staying healthy. They do have me after all and I’m sure with you gone someone had to take your place.

Anyway, I hope things in the military aren’t too rough on you. I know you said things were a bit hard at first, but isn’t that the usual case for things like this? I mean how else will you get strong and be able to help protect Army we all love and care about. If we go to war someone has to be the strongest, it can’t be I or Suga, we're kinda lazy and that says something since he is our cat. God, how is it that the army compared our sweet suga to a cat. He may seem like one but I swear he is much fiercer than that.. Do you remember the silly little nickname… What was it again? Lil kitty cat? Lil genius cat? OH! It was Lil Meow Meow… the army are so creative with their nicknames I can’t seem to stay up to date. The only one I have stuck in my brain is yours but that’s because you repeat it everywhere you go. 

I’ve seen others go to their enlistment. I think some from EXO have gone and a few others. The dancing videos on TikTok are kinda funny, but I haven’t seen any from you. Are you teaching your bunk mates how to dance? That could be funny. I would love to see that and I’m sure so do Army. 

I miss you..

There isn’t a day I don’t think about you and hope you are doing the best to stay healthy and not overworking yourself. 

I need you.

Come home safe, you hear me? 

Anyway, I’m heading to bed now. Namjoon would have a cow if I had stayed up later than I said I would. I love you. Stay safe. 

Your waiting girlfriend, 

y/n.

You sealed the envelope and placed it on your bedside table. You knew that you were going to cross the post office sometime tomorrow, but didn’t know when. Your smile still attached to your lips as you dreamed about Jin and him teaching his bunk mates how to dance to the song “Dynamite”. Your soft giggle echoing the room as you headed to bed hoping time would fly fast and that you could see your lover again. His dreamy voice putting you to sleep as you listen to “The Astronaut” hoping that maybe someday in the future he would be home. You missed him. You truly missed your little Astronaut.

~~~~~

Dear Y/N,

How are you doing? Are you well? Keeping up with the weather as I’m sure summer is being brutal to you right now. Were very hot in the camp we are stationed at. Things are gross and sticky. Sweat is becoming a second skin at this point as the air conditioner broke in the place I am sleeping at and ugh… it's disgusting.

I can’t believe V and Jungkook’s albums are out. I had remembered when V had first talked about his and how he was so nervous that Army would dislike it. I bet they love listening to him sing. His voice has changed since we started and honestly so has yours. I miss your voice. I miss the way it gets high pitched when you're excited about something or the little pout you do when you're upset. I bet you wear that pout so proudly now that I’m not there to say no and that I’m sure Namjoon is caving in left and right when you bat those long eyelashes. You better not be replacing me. I will find out if it's from the guys or from Army. They tell me everything. *laughs*

I’m excited for fall to finally be here. I know it's been a few months since our last exchange of letters or even the first one of mine, but things have been hell since arrival that I hope you understand. I’m sure the others will be coming their way as well. Hobi, Suga, Namjoon, I can see the sadness in their eyes whenever Army brings it up and I just hope they are doing okay. I hope You are doing okay as I know once the last one leaves you’ll be alone for a while. At least until June 2025 when I return. That day will be amazing. I can’t wait to finally be back and be around everyone. I can’t wait to be around you and I know you can’t either. I bet you're jumping for joy right now thinking about it. You’re cute. 

Anyway, love, I have to head to bed now. They’re calling lights out. Sleep well and tell the others and Army I love and miss them. 

Your World-Wide Handsome,

Seokjin

~~~~~

Dear Seokjin, 

How are you? Are you being safe? Are you being well enough to make sure your health is strong as ever? 

I don’t know how to sugar coat this as I know we promised to look after her while you were gone and we tried our best to do so, but… Y/N, ended up in the hospital the other night. She had a breakdown of missing you and stress from work. She… She tried taking her life and honestly it scared me. She seemed so frail and so broken that I was surprised that I didn’t see it coming. She was constantly telling me she was okay and that she didn’t need our help with whatever struggle she was dealing with because there was no trouble, but clearly there was if she tried taking her life just like that.. The scene was so vivid that I just don’t understand why a flower so bright and full of life would do something like that.. I’m scared she won't come home Jin… I wish you could come home so we could all see her smile again. I miss it. I miss you.

I’ll keep you updated on Y/N and make sure you miss nothing. I hope these two years fly by… I need my brothers home again… 

Anyway, stay safe and I purple you…

JHope…

P.S. Don’t tell Y/N that I told you… I would hate to see the look she gives when she finds out. I hate upsetting her, but I feel like you needed to know. Anyway, until next time Hyung.

JHope folded the letter and slipped it in the envelope. He placed it on the counter before grabbing his keys and wallet. V walked over and glanced at it as he asked, “Is this for Hyung?” JHope nodded his head as there was a slight frown to his lips, “Did you tell him about?” JHope nodded once more as V let out a sigh. He didn’t like the idea of Seokjin finding out but he was sure aware of if Army found out how he would then find out and worry while being away. The two males looking at each other as Namjoon entered the room and with the same matching frown asked, “Are you going to go see Y/N?”

JHope nodded his head as he wasn’t really in the mood to talk. He honestly wanted to forget that this whole thing happened and that maybe just maybe if he were to take a nap or go to bed all this would be a dream and that nothing like this would have ever happened.

“Do you care if I tag along and see her as well? I know I have some things I have to do in the studio, but I’m sure a nice visit with her would be nice. What do you say?” Namjoon said as JHope shrugged his shoulders and then grabbed the letter before heading to the door where he slipped on his shoes. Namjoon trailing behind as he looked at V and asked, “You coming along as well or you staying here?”

V grabbed an apple before slowly making his way to his room again, but before he headed down the hall shook his head, “I’m staying here. Seeing her like this just makes the nightmares seem more real. Tell her I say ‘Hi’ though and that I miss her, okay?” 

JHope and Namjoon nodded their heads as they left to go to the car and headed to the hospital, once they got there though, standing in the room next to you was your mother and the look on her face was unpleasant as if she was upset, which she had the right too, just not in the way you would have hoped.

“I can’t believe you two have the nerve of even showing up here..” your mother began as you added a small “Mom…” to the conversation. Her eyes were narrow and unhappy as she continued, “How could you be so selfish, so uncaring, I thought you seven cared for her. Why is she here? Why are you here?”

“Because we do care for her Mrs. Y/L/N… We showed up because we want to make sure that Y/N is okay and that she doesn’t think our status affects how we see her. She is our friend and our family that we would do anything in our own lives to protect and please her. I just-” Namjoon stopped as the look you were giving him was pleading, was to tell him to stop as you knew how your mother was. You felt guilty for even trying to end your own life, but work and missing Jin just piled up on top of you. The worry of the death threats and how life would be so much better if you weren’t in the picture. Army seemed like a case of who was true and who was fake. It all got to you and honestly it was what seemed to drive you over the edge, but seeing JHope and Namjoon here seemed more relaxing than your mother going after them. You felt safe as if the darkness that was swallowing you whole disappeared or at least because Jin wasn’t there to save you. They were indeed your family, your second home. You just hope Jin didn’t find out or things may have been more difficult than you wanted it to be. Your mother huffed as she stormed out JHope taking her spot as he gently grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

“How are we feeling today? Any better?” Namjoon asked as you shrugged, “Nothing like your mother hounding you to come home after you tell her that you are waiting for your boyfriend to come home from his enlistment. You know the usual conversation we have since Seokjin left.”

“Is she getting that bad?” JHope asked as you nodded your head, “She thinks because of him being gone he’s the reason I tried. I would never want to leave this world if it meant leaving him alone, but at the same time life just doesn’t seem important if he’s not here by my side.” 

Namjoon hummed.

“Are they going to release you soon? The MAMA awards should be coming up. Would love to see you there.” JHope smiled as he tried to change the topic. 

“I don’t know. Since mom is here they have been trying everything to get me to go to some psych ward to get me tested on shit. If not just to get away from you guys. I honestly don’t see the point when being away from anything that reminds me of Jin would make things ten times worse. I love her, don’t get me wrong, but I’m 26… I can make my own decisions.” You laughed as the boys joined in. Namjoon pulling out his phone as he smiled, showing you a photo of Holly.

“Look how big he’s getting. I can’t believe Yoongi’s dog is such a cutie, I would have seen him as a cat person.” Namjoon said as JHope gave you and him both a look.

“We all know he’s a giant cat, but could you see him taking care of a cat? I mean the litter box would reek! And what about when we are away? Who’s going to take care of it then when Holly can be taken outside and not have to worry about the house smelling.” JHope said as you started giggling. 

The guys smiled, “Thank you J, Joon, I really needed this.” 

“No problem, it's what we are here for.” JHope said as Namjoon nodded.

“Ms. Y/N, your medication?” A nurse said as she walked in. The guys eyed it worriedly.

“It's to help me sleep. Since the night I got here sleep has been an issue. The medication they give me helps me sleep.” You smiled as they sighed with relief that it wasn’t anything serious, “But with that being said… I am gonna have to let you two go. I am getting tired and would like to get some sleep. I’ll see you guys tomorrow?”

“Of course.” and they left to head to the post office and then the studio.

~~~~~

Dear My Love,

I finally have time to write to you and boy do I have a lot to tell you. The guys finally told me they wrote to you and yes, I was in the hospital for some time but I promise you things are a lot better now that I’m out and away from my mother.

Things here were a bit hectic as I felt overwhelmed with life that I wasn’t thinking straight and that being in the hospital gave me time to really think about life and that… to be clear almost had JHope killed. (I can’t believe he wrote to you the night AFTER everything happened. I know I can be much, but I wanted things to calm down before you heard anything, but I guess I would rather one of the boys write to you then Army write to you…)

Moving on, I got a new job! I know my last job was a bit repetitive, but I’m doing something that is a bit more relaxing and I get to see you and the others more when you're dancing. What job did I get? Well, Jin, you're looking at the new Janitor or BigHits Entertainment. I know ‘Fancy’ right? *Laughs* I thought it was a funny joke, but at least I get to see you and the other whenever I’m on the clock and it won’t be as weird. I just hate that I’ll be cleaning at night so it will be kinda spooky, but who doesn’t like a good horror.

Anyway, I’m home now. I’m doing a lot better and honestly feeling more safe with the new job and new hours. I even started talking with some of the other idols that work under BigHits. Might even have a few new Biases to add to the collection, but don’t worry Seoky you're still my number one. I love you and only you. *More laughter*

Moving forward, I’m heading off to bed now. Jungkook wants to take me out for breakfast so he told me to head to bed early. I love you bubs. Hope to hear from you soon. 

Y/N

P.S. Where are those dancing videos? I wanna see you and your bunk mates dancing! 

~~~~~

Dear Y/N, 

I am so saddened to hear of the passing of Kim Seokjin. This is an incredibly sad time, but please know there are so many people around you who want to help. 

Seokjin was a caring man. He was a strong member of our community, and his smile will be sorely missed. I know you all must mourn independently, but our hearts go out to you. 

Seokjin was always there to lend a helping hand to a fellow serviceman or woman. He graduated at the top of his group, and we always knew he would accomplish great things. He never let us down, and we know he never let his family down. 

It was a great honor to have served with such an inspiring image of bravery and compassion. Please let me know if there is any way I can support you during this time. 

Your legs buckled from under you. Your eyes blurry as the loudest sob ripped through your chest. You thought it was going to be training, but not telling you how Seokjin went made things even worse. What man or woman would do that to you? What in the right mind would make you think this was okay? Was it because you were his girlfriend? Was it because his parents knew you would want to find out? You didn’t know. You didn’t know and hearing the remaining six men come and check on you, with worried faces, made it clear that something had happened to Jin and no one wanted to find out until you were ready. Namjoon holding you close to his chest as he rocked you back and forth allowing you to sob. Your voice calling out “He’s gone..” repeatedly as Suga looked at JHope who was sharing a gance with V and Jungkook knew that after what had happened needed them the most. The boys taking turns holding you as they read the letter out loud. Namjoon’s head hanging low as they didn’t realize enlistment could lead to death. The boys crying as they mourned their friend. Mourned their brother. The group saying their goodbyes as this was probably the saddest letter they all had ever read. What they didn’t know was that Hobi was next. His letter sitting on the counter as it would soon be his turn.

Warm regards,

Kenji Yamamoto

[bumblepony]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do a kiss prompt for Alexei & Amos from As Nandorluna’s Go Your Own Way & As Long as You Follow. I liked your one short fic of them.

The prompt would be "kiss with trembling lips"

Thank you

This was not as sexy as I first thought I was going to go, but I still liked making it sooo, here we go. I hope you like it, Nonnie.

I am also linking this to my good friend @chronicallyonlinewriter because these are her original characters, and I want to make sure she is happy with this little slice of story I slipped into her universe.

If anyone is interested in reading her work I highly recommend it, it's one of my favorite series in TLOU fanfic fandom here is the link People Still Listen to Fleetwood Mac in the Apocalypse

Story under the cut!

“Alexei?” Amos’s voice called sleep-rough from down the hall, a familiar sound that always managed to stir something soft in Alexei. Normally, after hearing it, he would drag whatever book he was reading back to the bedroom and cuddle up under the covers with Amos’s pleasant warmth pressed along his side. But today, Alexei didn’t have time. He’d already spent too many days away from the hospital, and he needed to get back. He shoved another book into his bag.

“In here.” He called, then mumbled quietly to himself as he looked around him, making sure he’d grabbed everything.

“What are you doing?” Amos asked, his confusion clear in his tone. Alexei looked up at his husband, tall and mussed, standing in the doorway. His T-shirt wrinkled, one leg of his sweatpants hiked up just below his knee, and the wild red curls of his hair half falling out of the low ponytail he usually put it in for bed. His shockingly blue eyes were tired but sharp as he took in Alexei’s actions.

“I have to get back to the hospital. I’m already so behind… on everything.” He sighed, his mind already cataloging all the different experiments that were waiting for his hand, each at a different stage of completion that only he could correctly handle.

His mind was so taken by his musings that he didn’t realize Amos had moved until his hand was over the top of his own. Strong fingers stopped his relentless packing and repacking of his bag. Placing his thumb and pointer finger under Alexei’s chin, Amos turned his face to his.

“Alexei, stop. What are you doing?” Amos asked again, his voice low, desperate. Alexei’s eyes skate over his worried face, his bushy brows pulled down over his dark circled eyes, mouth creased into a thin line between his scruffy beard. “You nearly died less than a week ago, I thought… Jesus, when I got the call, I thought that was it. I rushed to the hospital, sure I’d be too late, sure all I’d be able to do was hold your already cooling hand as they told me you were gone. But by some fucking miracle, you were still alive. My beautiful, reckless, stubborn husband was still alive.” Amos’s hand came up and brushed away a lock of silver hair from his forehead before he leaned in and placed a trembling kiss on his lips. Alexei could feel Amos’s hand also shake, where it rested on his face, and guilt sprang up hot and acidic from his gut.

“Alexei, you look like shit. You’ve been burning yourself at both ends since we got here. And I understand, I really do, I know how important this is for you, for us, for everyone.” Amos took a deep breath and placed his forehead against Alexei’s, “But, Alexei, I need you. Do you understand? If-if you do find a way to make a cure, but I end up losing you in the process because you’ve run yourself down to the bone, then none of it will have been worth it for me.” Amos pressed his lips to Alexei’s once more, so fiercely that their teeth clacked against one another. He held himself there, his breaths harsh and sharp against Alexei’s lips before pulling away and piercing him with his gaze. “Do you understand Alexei? None of this is worth it without you.”

Alexei knew the heart attack had scared Amos. It had scared him, too. But hearing that fear in Amos’s voice, feeling it in his touch, finally forced him to see that his life meant something beyond his ability to make a cure. His wellbeing mattered to Amos, and he had not been taking care of himself.

“Amos, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…” Alexei stammered and lifted his hands to rest on Amos’s shoulders, needing to feel his solid frame under his palms. 

“Well, you do now, so I need you to take care of yourself. This was a wake-up call, and I need you to listen to it, please,” Amos said and pulled away to take Alexei’s bag and shove it under the desk. One last clear message that Amos did not plan on letting Alexei go anywhere today. 

“Okay, Amos. Okay, I will.” Alexei laughed weakly. His earlier need to be back at work spilled out of him in a rush and left him feeling raw and exhausted.

“Good then. Good.” Amos ran a shaking hand through his already chaotic curls, his tone surprised as if he had expected more of a fight and then reached down to take Alexi’s hand. “Come back to bed. I know you’ll have to go back eventually, but can we work all that out tomorrow?”

Alexei laced his fingers with Amos’s and reached out his other hand to gently smooth down Amos' jaw, the rough scrape of his scruff a calming sensation against his palm. “Of course, sweetheart. It can wait.”

“C’mon,” Amos tugged him from the little office and back to their warm, comfortable bed.

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡ My thoughts on Veskier + headcanons ♡

- One of the rarest rare pairs in the Witcher fandom for sure! And guess what? I LOVE IT!!!

- They chose the perfect actor to play Vesemir in season 2! Kim Bodnia is a charismatic Danish actor with a charming accent, his performance was AMAZING!

- As of season 2, I personally am a bit cross with most characters in the series for the way they treated Jaskier. Geralt used Jaskier for his loyalty and his apology was shit, so Geraskier prompts/ideas don't come to me as quickly as they used to.

- Lauren went and killed off Eskel, so to cook up some Jaskel content it would have to be an AU where he doesn't die and would require a LOT of creativity not only to make it possible for him to be alive, but also mix and match his personality from video clips of his game counterpart on YouTube, since Eskel didn't get enough screen time on Netflix to show the entirety of his character.

- Lambert was an absolute dick to Jaskier, so Lambskier is rocky too, Lambskier's only saving grace is that Lambert and Jaskier didn't have a lot of scenes together, leaving a lot of room for thinking up ways in which those two could bond.

- WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY CURRENT FAVORITE JASKIER SHIPS: Yennskier (I already made a post about) and of course Veskier!

- Veskier, being a ship of a younger pretty man and an older witcher warrior, has mostly gotten attention from the extremely kinky side of the fandom. Daddy kink, BDSM, dom/sub, breeding kink and other kinks galore. Even more often, this ship is mixed with others in a M/M/M/M/M setting, you know, I know you know, we all have seen the witchersexual!Jaskier tag on AO3. And while I do enjoy a little well written smut from time to time, most of the Veskier fanfics out there do not quite suit my taste.

- Vesemir and our beloved, adorable, brilliant walking sunshine trouble maker of a bard, did not interact in season 2 at all, I doubt that they will ever, with both being side characters. HOWEVER, that makes this pairing FREE REAL ESTATE! Who is to say what is likely and what is not? Who is to say they won't work? Who is to say that they couldn't have gotten together at some point off screen?

- It makes me a little sad that people don't realize just how much potential there is with Veskier! Much like Yennskier, the theoretical romantic relationship between these two, at least going off of Netflix canon alone, would be surprisingly healthy and wholesome.

- Every time I imagine them together, I headcanon Jaskier as not entirely human. Either part-fae or of elder blood.

- Veskier is a perfect ship for emotional healing, for fluff, for the kinky side, for the crack, for happiness!

- FLUFF × CRACK × SMUT × HURT/COMFORT

Let me set the scene

- After Voleth Mier, Jaskier realizes that he somehow ended up in a situation where he lost his precious lute, became a wanted man in Oxenfurt (a city he considered his home), got tortured for information about his ex-bff, then said ex-bff came to bail him out of jail because he needed him, not for the sake of making amends, essentially using Jaskier to find Yennefer and then sending him off with Ciri as a glorified nanny. And here he is, at the top of another mountain, in Kaer Morhen, where Geralt is too busy with Ciri to talk while the other witchers are rude to him. He is penniless, injured, has nothing but the bloodied clothes on his back and is suffering from nightmares about Rience.

- Vesemir is a tired old man who has witnessed too much bloodshed in his lifetime. His body may be enhanced and therefore he doesn't feel the physical effects of aging (if at all) as much as he does the mental. All witchers were human at some point, he can actually feel the psychological toll of living much longer than humans are designed to. Still, he has to be strong as the master of the keep, to set an example and to be a dependable source of wisdom and guidance for his pups. He will never admit it out loud, but the things he has to deal with after Voleth Mier overwhelm him. There's Geralt's whole elder blood child surprise thing, constant repairs of a crumbling fortress, honoring and mourning the fallen witchers, processing the fact that new mutated mosters are appearing and they don't have the mutagens to create more of their kind to protect the continent and survive. There is nothing he can do about it except deal with the anxiety of knowing these stone cold facts.

- In this whole mess, two broken souls might just be what the other needs. Where Vesemir could do with a break, with a little joy, Jaskier is more than enough to help with that. And where Jaskier could do with being taken care of after everything he's been through, after everything he lost, Vesemir is a perfect candidate for that job. Their relationship would be yin and yang, balance and harmony personified.

- Honestly, please tell me that you see it too! They have a lot in common, Jaskier is a professor, mastered the seven liberal arts, grammar, logic, rhetoric, arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy and according to canon, he passed every exam with flying colors!

- Vesemir is wise, he has lived for centuries, he has witnessed history, he was trained as an alchemist, has extensive knowledge about many things. He is a bottomless pit of knowledge.

- They could talk for hours together and never run out of topics to discuss.

- And the sex? OH BROTHER! Jaskier fucked his way across the continent countless times, while Vesemir is so ancient there is no way that he hadn't bedded a considerable amount of people. Yeah, the sex would be mind blowing I should think.

- Jaskier is a hopeless romantic and Vesemir is a traditional gentleman (when he is wooing the damsels, according to game!canon Lambert.) They would probably be very fluffy and affectionate with eachother. Verbose compliments, music, cuddling, kissing.

- LMAO, imagine everyone else's reaction!!!

- Geralt would be mortified seeing his friend making out with his father figure on the kitchen table 🤣🤣🤣

- The other witchers would probably feel uneasy, shocked at first too, until they get used to it. HAHA ONCE THEY DO LAMBERT IS GONNA FUCKING MILK IT

"Morning papa Vesemir, papa Jaskier"

- KAER MORONS!!!

- Also, the theoretical adventures a witty traveling part fae bard and a silverfox witcher could have, make me beyond giddy!

[oxidizedacidd]

okay rant time but BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY I AM TRANSGENDER AND THIS POST IS COMING FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A TRANS MAN. I AM NOT FORCING ANYONE TO AGREE WITH ME OR CHANGE THEIR HEADCANONS THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.

I really *really* think saying chihiro fujisaki is a trans woman is legitimately disrespectful and if anything harmful to actual trans women.

trans rep, ESPECIALLY transfem rep is outrageously hard to find done right or just to find at all. it's almost always stereotyped or gross or harmful and fetishy and I legitimately hate it, so I completely understand the headcanon people have for him but I think if you hc him as trans, trans*masc* would not only fit better but be far less disrespectful, let me explain.

the whole point/narrative of chapter 2 is toxic masculinity, and chihiro is unfortunately a victim of toxic masculinity. chihiro was harassed and bullied into dressing like a girl because he was born with a more feminine appearance, which as a trans man myself I completely understand the struggle of. saying someone is a trans woman because they were *forced* to dress and act like a girl so they wouldn't be bullied, hurt, ect is gross to me. it's implying trans women are forced to act that way, not for comfort in their own bodies but to fit the expectations of others. I'd totally get it if he had a more masculine appearance and was dressing like a woman and getting bullied for willingly choosing to express himself as a girl, but he isn't. he doesn't like it, he says so himself.

"where is it implied he doesn't like it and it makes him uncomfortable?" well unfortunately trigger happy havoc being trigger happy havoc very VERY briefly covers this topic and it blows ass but fortunately, we have danganronpa summer camp! I recently bought the game because I wanted to see all my sillies alive and well interacting with eachother, and each character has their own mini kind of story mode, so let's talk about chihiros.

chihiro has quite alot of very interesting cutscenes that give HEAVY transmasc implications, but the most notable one is at the end of his story mode he actually comes out to everyone that he is a boy and is ecstatic about it because he finally feels comfortable enough to be who he truly is. another scene that screams transmasc is a cutscene with mondo and tenko where tenko is bashing mondo but praising chihiro and calling him a girl endlessly and praising him for being a girl. this literally causes him to run off with mondo and start crying because of her calling him a girl so much, and he expresses genuine fear that tenko might hurt him if he came out as a boy.

would someone who is so comfortable with their identity literally start crying out of fear when they're being addressed in a way that's supposed to make them happy? why would they have to fear being hurt? I know exactly how he feels and it legitimately angers me a little bit because it took me years of living in fear to come out. everytime I got called a girl I felt like breaking down and crying because I never felt like I'd be strong enough or masculine enough to be perceived as a boy, exactly how he expresses his feelings.

hes constantly thanking mondo for helping him build up strength, and that because of him hes starting to feel alot better. there's two other scenes that really really push the transmasc hc for me. one being a scene where he bumps into fuyuhiko, who is going to the same secret training spot as him, and they both bond over not being able to be perceived as masculine and strong because of their small, not traditionally masculine appearances. the final one that really seals it for me is where mondo and chihiro are sitting in the hotsprings together just chatting alone, until masaru shows up. masaru sees chihiro, and starts yelling that "mondo brought a girl into the hotsprings!!!" which causes him to break down and cry. It makes him uncomfortable and insecure, not happy.

so again, to me, you can have any hc for any character you want and im not gonna cop you for calling chihiro a girl, so please do the same for me. do whatever you want. but to me, I see it as disrespectful and rude to trans women as I've seen posts of trans women also saying that they don't think it's appropriate to hc him that way and share similar thoughts that it's disrespectful to them.

do I believe chihiro is trans?? yes!! absolutely!! trans rep forever we NEED more of it in media!! but in this case I don't really see it as transfem rep, but transmasc rep.

thanks for coming to my ted talk, pls do not stab me hc him however you want.

[a-wholelotta-love]

Totnt 1938! Episode 3 thoughts!

*Spoiler Alert*

Okay, so this is going to be a routine thing! Coz i need to talk about the episodes in order to not go crazy. But man! What was today's episode. So much to unpack. But let's start again with some major moments that i need to discuss or some that i need to gush about-

Lee Yeon talking to Shin ju about Rang. I am equally annoyed and happy about this scene. I don't know how to explain my thoughts. Like the fact that Shin ju reminded Yeon that hey, you have your Rang here. I was like, bro, no one should be reminding you of this. You should be grateful every second that you get to see him again. Not everyone gets that chance. Also, Rang hearing how Yeon is only there for a month. My boi is so confused right now and it just hurts me for some reason.

Okay, I am really conflicted about Ryu Hong joo's character. While I find her truly bad ass in the drinking bet scene, I am a little irked by how difficult it is for her to deal with a rejection. She was almost ready to assault Yeon at his weakest and even got that guy to fight off against demons just because she can not take a no. Like Ah, why. You are such a bad ass strong woman. Can i please have you behave a little rationally.

Now, favourite moment, Yeon and Rang's interactions this season are just completely melting me, killing me, hurting me and then fixing me. I love how worried Yeon seems to be about Rang every moment. But Rang's confusion about it and his act to look unfazed and unaffected hurts my heart. Boy has been looking for this love and affection all his life. But it's so hard for him to trust. When Yeon said, "You needed family. It doesn't matter whether I am fake or real". He hit the spot right on. And how he tried acting tough when Yeon could not see but you could see the worry in his eyes and he just gave up after a point, feeding his brother, guiding him in the right direction and teasing him. The way he looked back in yeon's direction when going to perform that exorcism. I am telling you it's breaking my heart. I don't think I will survive the ending of this show if Rang gets left behind.

The little girl Lea's story was actually so painful and my angry self from season 1 just went, "Look Yeon, all the pain you caused by abandoning the mountain." I know, I know he did it for his love but the amount of pain it caused to, not just Rang, but so many creatures. They burnt the mountain down while your brother was there. All forms of life died and people who relied on you suffered. I don't know but her story made me think of little Rang crying for Yeon with blackie in his arms. Such a sore topic for me.

Next, isn't the Mermaid a representation of me ( All rang simps) .Ah, "It was love at first sight." Well, tbh, with Rang, I was interested in first sight but I fell in love slowly and steadily and then all at once. But yess, I am happy to have one person in Rang's corner who loves him unconditionally. I hope they let him be happy though I am really apprehensive of it.

The Rang and Shin ju conversation. Gosh, after all these years as strangers, you both come pretending to be nice. My boi 🥺 that's because they really know how kind you are. Kind enough to die for them. 🥺 Even in the well, even when he is confused why Shin ju is being nice to him, he still tries to keep him alive so that both of them don't end up dying. He pushes him up while he knows he will most probably die if yeon does not come soon. 🥺 This Rang who does not even know this Shin ju, will still try to protect him if he can.

Also, the writers trying to kill my baby boi Rangie every alternate episode, is this going to be a routine thing too ?? I need to know so that i can prepare myself.