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#I am overwhelmed with my own drawing
hellofjanuary · 1 month
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I really didn't know what to do for the background. Have the version I kinda settled on, the plain and the too much one.
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sketchy-tour · 1 month
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HELLO HI HELLO I AM!!! RECOVERING CURRENTLY!!!!
So I haven't posted in a small moment and planned to get myself going again soon but right now I am recovering from an accident (I won't get into the nitty gritty) that has left me quite shaken. FIRST OFF I AM OKAY! Minor injuries so nothing alarming I am physically fine besides being sore for a bit and some scrapes and bruises that are still healing, including my arms which is making drawing a bit difficult. I'm slowly getting better but cant really draw for long periods and honestly I might not draw much for a bit till I feel better both physically and mentally. its the mentally part that might take some time. But I'm resting, rest assured!
ANYWAY this is more just an update cause I know i've been a lil absent. ESPECIALLY after this accident. I'm not abandoning the blog by any means, def still check on tumblr but couldn't seem to muster the energy to interact with much at the moment as my brain is a little rattled up.
I hope yall are all okay! I hope your days are bright and yall are taking care of yourselves!
I promise I'm doing what I can to take care of me!
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tothesolarium · 6 months
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Sometimes I like the base layer of painting more than the final. Though I do plan on properly coloring the Questing Beast
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mxnordberg · 1 year
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Self-soothing
[Image ID: A digital illustration of Ayda Aguefort - a young black half-phoenix woman - looking over pages in her spell book. She's sitting with a weighted blanket spread across her legs and the open book in her lap; with her right hand she's stimming with the short hairs on the nape of her neck, and her left hand hovers, postured and curled, over the book's pages. She has golden-orange runic tattoos on her arms, her hair is a fiery bright poof of coiled undercut, and she wears an oversized 'Fig and the Cig Figs' tshirt. Her flaming wings are arched and curled around her shoulders, sheltering her off from the rest of the room. The edges of the frame are decorated with thin golden lines and stars.]
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angelpuns · 6 months
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Hello Angel, I wanted to apologize sincerely. I didn't know that doing what I'm doing was really rude and annoying. The person I send the fan story (kid Leo au) accidentally had already reached to me (I had forgot to do it anonymous) and "explained" me that what I'm doing is so inappropriate and I'm just doing it for the likes in other people's blogs and using their own content instead of being original and do my own, and also told me to not do it ever again. That you are only being nice because you didn't had how to reached out to me in private to talk about it. I just summarized all the things said.
I am really sorry, I didn't thought it was that bad. And I want to thank you for being a really nice person. I also thank the other person for letting me know about it. Once again I apologize 😔
-🌸
Sorry this took so long for me to respond to, I had to sit back and think a lot because hearing that someone said that to you actually made me so mad-
I LOVE READING THE STORY, LET ME SAY THAT FIRST, I GENUINELY ENJOY IT SO MUCH AND I GET SO SO SO EXCITED WHEN YOU SEND ME ASKS CAUSE IT'S SO SO SO FUN TO READ-
I personally LOVE when people send me asks like that, and I think it was a real shitty thing for them to say that to you. I understand why some people may not like it for their own content, but I enjoy it a lot.
You are not being rude at all to me, I promise. I genuinely enjoy reading your fan stories so much!
I'll be honest, I am not a nice person. If I didn't like it or didn't want people to do this sort of thing, I would have never answered your asks. When I get asks I don't like/don't want to answer I delete them (which tbh I don't think is me being an asshole I think it's my right-)
I promise it's not just me being nice, I am not that sort of person lmao-
SORRY IF THIS IS ALL SUCH A CONFUSING RESPONSE I AM JUST GETTING VERY MAD ON YOUR BEHALF BECAUSE EWIJRGIJFREJI I LOVE READING YOUR FAN STORIES AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR!!!
aLSO ANOTHER THING BUT THE FACT THAT IT'S FOR THE SPINOFF COMIC MAKES ME SO SO SO HJAPPY BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A TON OF IDEAS FOR THE SPINOFF AND SEEING THAT I INSPIRED SOMEONE TO WRITE ABOUT IT IS SO FLATTERING AND AMAZING AND MAKES ME SAPPY FEEL GOOD
if the person that said that is reading this, they are in fact an asshole. And it really isn't any of their damn business <33333
TLDR: I DON'T THINK IT'S RUDE AT ALL IT'S ACTUALLY SO SO SO NICE TO GET YOUR FAN STORIES AND THIS PERSON IS AN ASSHOLE FOR TELLING YOU OFF
again sorry if this is very very rambly or whatever I just got like actually so pissed off on flower-anon's behalf while thinking about this-
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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boyywithluv · 2 months
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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moe-broey · 1 year
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Fuck it my brain feels super clogged so I'm posting my agenda with little to no context + one doodle idk if I'll color but I kinda want to but I kinda don't LMFAO
(wips I'm hoping to return to ect ect, just a few snippets from a larger Thing)
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penisbilt · 1 month
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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gaaah.
I woke up romantic this morning and between all the last-minute packing and whatnot, I so want to draw a kiss (┬┬﹏┬┬).
I WANT TO DRAW A SMOOCH.
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destructix · 4 months
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stop making new AI art software and scraping our data and instead give me a tool that helps me write image descriptions better and faster rahhhhh!!!
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chaotikanvas · 1 year
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I infinitely admire artists who look at a character and can just convert them to their own style, or even experiment with their looks while still maintaining the core of the character and have them be recognizable!
Whenever I want to draw a character I always stick close to their original look and trying to change anything always feels like I'm drawing them wrong fkjhgdskfjgh
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peapod20001 · 1 year
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Bro I’m </3 thinking too hard </3
#vent#ugh. artfight. bullshit. fucking shit#I would rather have banter with my friends than draw for people that don’t care#but alas. the all consuming art game#I love drawing for people in theory but I hate how it makes me feel. do you understand what I mean by this#idk what it is but the fact art fight starts TOMORROW has me feeling like a worthless sack of shit#and that feeling is only heightened by the fact that everyone is going to be invested in it while I fucking crumble for what? the 3rd?#4th year in a row?? god. fucking sucks. I get so in my head with this bullshit every year. but I want to do it#ugh. awful. and I feel worse when people make me things and then I don’t get to send something back#awful gross beast. and now I’m just feeling worse thinking about other things. I’m so overwhelmed#and not a damn person to talk to cus 1. there’s no one to listen and 2. I can’t articulate my feelings! I don’t understand myself!#the only reason I know how to act is because I do research for my fucking characters! I’m my own fucking character!#and I wish someone was there to make me feel special like how I (hypothetically) make my ocs feel!!#ugh. whatever I’m cool and fine and dandy and NOT on the verge of tears and I’m going to eat fucking jellybeans#am I going to have a breakdown every time there’s a Holliday or event? I canNOT be caught feeling like a fucking ball of lint every#valentines day dawg. I can’t be that person. I already did that one time too many ok#how’s it feel to have people enjoy talking to you? cus I’m either too much or not enough for people
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i think when artfight is over im just gonna do a whole bumch of silly trigun panel/screenshot redraws
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violetclarity · 1 year
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how's feeling more confident about adulting this year going, violet?
so glad you asked. I told myself at the beginning of january that this year I'd be prioritizing both mine and my cat's health (e.g. taking us to the vet/doctor bc it's been years for either of us) and promptly made her a vet appt. now that the vet appt is arriving uhhh next week I'm realizing I really need to also make myself that doctor's appointment I guess? uh?? fuck!
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pepprs · 1 year
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ALSO addendum to that post: i don’t know how to do any of this stuff / am grappling w the extreme weirdness impostor syndrome etc etc of having very recently been on the student side of all of it…. AND we are not talking about how to do any of it before doing it we are just diving in and then there are unhelpful dynamics where i feel helpless and quiet and limboed and kids tabled and guilty and left behind. but i am not asking for us to talk about it before we do it ♥️
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