#I am sick and tired of people who are able to grasp other forms of systemic oppression and intersectionality in some ways

[hopalongfairywren]

Saw a mutual spouting progressive 'not all men' shit and am now considering unfollowing. Sigh.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 111: Smile

"Auror Potter! Auror Potter!" the wizarding press started shouting the instant the doors to the Wizengamot opened following the trial, and Draco watched as Harry's shoulders stiffened. "Smile for the cameras!" one witch shouted.

"Tell us about the case, Auror Potter!"

"How did you catch Hollister?"

"What's the status on your relationship with Ginny Weasley?"

"Smile!"

He watched as Harry carefully put on a mask of indifference, making his face pleasant and amiable in the way that only someone who has spent years in the public eye is able to do.

Harry held up a hand, "Thank you for your interest in this case. We're asking that you respect the Griffiths Family's privacy as they go through the aftermath of this harrowing ordeal. Alden Hollister has been brought to justice; I will leave it to the court reporter to give you more of the details."

The reporters started in shouting at him once more, asking all sorts of questions both professional and personal.

"Sorry," he said, "If you'll excuse us please. Auror Malfoy and I have had a very difficult few days and we're long overdue for some rest," he added, chuckling amiably at them. "Thank you," he nodded. "Good night."

Without waiting for anything else, Draco reached out and grasped Harry's elbow and apparated them out of there and back to the apparition point just outside the Ministry. They had to apparate home separately, Merlin knew the press would have a field day if they knew the full truth about the nature of their relationship.

(Read more below the cut)

Members of the press were waiting by that apparation point as well, Draco watched a tremor of unease sluice up Harry's back. He was sure that he wouldn't have suspected a thing if not for how long he had been watching Harry Potter. Sometimes he wondered if he knew Harry better than Harry knew himself.

Harry held up a hand but Draco beat him to the punch this time. "Move," he snapped, pushing his way through the press but keeping Harry half a step ahead of him so they couldn't suck him in. "Auror Potter's already given an interview to your insipid colleagues. The DMLE and the Wizengamot will be issuing official statements within the hour, I suggest you wait for them."

They were followed into the lobby but fortunately the reporters couldn't come any further and within a few moments they were ensconced in the relative safety of the elevator.

Once they got inside, Harry leaned back against the back wall and let his head fall foward while Draco hit the button to their floor before joining him.

"Thanks," Harry murmured.

"Don't mention it," Draco replied, reaching across the gap between them and hooking their pinkies together.

He released his finger the floor before theirs and stepped away, "What do you still have to do?" he asked.

"You're submitting the report, right?"

Draco nodded, "It's just about done. I'll need a few minutes to finish."

"I just have to straighten up my desk, then. I'll head home first."

The elevator dinged and the door opened onto their floor, Draco gave Harry a little nod and they stepped out.

Harry was done straightening his desk and putting things away in ten minutes and he stood and stretched before patting Draco congenially on the shoulder. "Nice work, Malfoy," he said. "I'll see you in two days. Enjoy your couple of days of recovery," he added.

"Thanks, Potter," he replied. "You, too."

He didn't let himself watch Harry leave, didn't let himself look at his retreating form to analyze what he was feeling and thinking. No, he went back to finishing his report and after another fifteen minutes he was done as well. He dropped the report in Robbard's mailbox and headed for the apparition point, knowing that Harry would have used the floo network to avoid as many reporters as possible.

Fortunately, the reporters left him alone for the most part and he reached the apparation point without incident. A heartbeat later he was standing in their entry way, breathing in the comforting scent of home, the warmth seeping into his bones and washing away all of the tension and stress.

He kicked off his shoes, tucked his bag into the closet, and hung up his cloak before turning and heading into the kitchen. Harry was standing over the hob, cooking chicken tikka masala by the smell of it, and that told Draco everything his needed to know about how draining this case had been on Harry.

Harry only cooked after a case when he was especially frustrated, when he was desperate to care for someone, to fix the hurts he was able to, to heal. He ached with how much he loved the other man.

"Hey," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and hooked his chin over his shoulder. "Smells good."

Harry leaned into him, "Good," he replied, setting the wooden spoon down and turning his head to press a quick kiss to Draco's lips. "How are you?" he asked softly.

"Tired," Draco replied honestly.

Harry hummed and turned back to his rice, pulling down the jar of jasmine and adding some. "Me too."

"I'm going to open a bottle of wine," he said, pressing a kiss to Harry's shoulder. "White okay?"

"Sure," the other man replied, giving him a worn, weary smile.

Draco opened the wine and set the table, getting everything ready while Harry finished preparing the food.

"Dinner's ready," Harry said, bringing over the rice and chicken tikka masala, and a batch of naan that he'd had under stasis for a moment like this.

"Thanks," Draco replied and the first part of dinner was quiet, companionable, like it always was.

Then, once Harry was almost done with his first helping he started to talk. "Godric, I hate those vultures," he grumbled before taking a sip of his wine. "Can you imagine how heartless you have to be to stand outside of a court to ambush someone after the kind of case we just finished?"

"They're awful," Draco agreed.

"I always wish I could tell them to fuck off," he added, shaking his head.

"What a sight that would be," he said with a laugh. "I'd give my entire vault at Gringotts to see it. Can you imagine their faces?"

Harry laughed too, "It sure would be something." But then after a moment he said, "What's happened to me?"

"What?" Draco asked, panic spearing through his chest. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "No, nothing like that," he said, soothingly. "Sorry. It's just," he paused as though he was trying to put his thoughts in order. "When I was seventeen I would have told them to piss off in an instant. I would have told them that they were heartless, soulless leeches without hesitation."

"You've just learned to be more diplomatic," Draco replied, tearing off another piece of naan to soak up more of the tikka masala.

"But why?" Harry asked. "I'm sick of it. It's exhausting."

Draco nodded, "I don't doubt it. But I'm sure even you would get in trouble for telling off the press like that. You are the Ministry's Golden Boy, after all. You've got quite an image to uphold."

"Why do we do this job, Draco?" he asked suddenly.

Draco blinked, their conversations after a case usually centered around the case itself and Harry's guilt for not being fast enough, clever enough, etc. "Well, when we started, you wanted to catch bad guys, save people, the works. And I wanted to redeem myself, do some good for once, and piss off my father."

Harry swallowed down the remainder of his glass of wine, "I hate it."

"What?"

"Being an Auror," he said. "The only time I'm ever happy is when I'm with you, the only time I feel like I'm actually me is when I'm with you." He shook his head, "I don't know how I became this person. How I became someone who could put on a fake smile and be polite to people who are such arse holes."

"What are you saying?"

He blew out a breath, "I want to stop." Running his fingers through his hair he said, "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Alright," Draco said, covering Harry's hand with his own. "We'll quit tomorrow."

"We?" he asked.

He nodded, "Ninety percent of the reason that I am still an auror is to keep an eye on you."

Harry leaned in to kiss him, both of them smiling so widely that it made kissing rather difficult. "What'll we do?" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged, "Let's not rush into anything."

"Alright," Harry agreed, bringing Draco's hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to his wrist. "I'm sure whatever we decide on will be good, as long as we're together."

"I love you," Draco murmured.

Harry smiled and squeezed his hand, "I love you, too."

And even though he didn't quite know what tomorrow would bring, he knew that everything would be okay.

---------

Day 110: Rough | Day 112: Intimacy

[aminiatureworld]

Affection II

Characters: Childe, Ganyu, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,577

Warnings: None

Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.

In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.

Author’s Note: Evidently I’ve really missed writing these properly. I had such a great time writing, and I hope you guys enjoy these just as much as I did.

Also I’ve decided the version on Ao3 will now always be without bullet points, so if you prefer that format the link will be in the reblog.

Childe

You’d been floored by Childe pretty much since the day you two had met.

What had turned into the two of you meeting had started out a most unfavorable encounter. You’d gone to Lingju Pass, trying to survey some of the carvings of the old structure, and attempting to see the sort of methods used to construct such vast rocky complexes at the time. Unfortunately this goal had quickly turned into a goal of “don’t get caught”, as you’d found the Pass crawling with Fatui members. Though you weren’t nearly helpless, you’d also not come prepared for battle; and had spent most of the “fight” dodging around various blows while trying not to drop the expensive equipment that you’d borrowed from other Guild members.

Just as you’d come to the conclusion that the options were either drop everything and run or get thoroughly injured by a bunch of arrogant Snezhnayan soldiers there was a change in the air. The Fatui soldiers’ expression turned from one of glee to one of confusion, and then one of panic, as one by one a streak of blue began to throw them this way and that. As you regained focus of the terrain your realized that it wasn’t a streak at all but a person, a person who was wildly adept at sword play. Eventually the number of unconscious people had risen to five, and there was no one left but him and you.

“Need any help?”

The words might’ve been kind, had it not been for the smirk on the man’s face. Though you felt that the right answers would’ve probably been to scowl, you found you couldn’t, too wrapped up in the memory of this mysterious person darting this way and that, handling his water-made daggers with the grace of a ballet dancer.

“I’m Childe.” These words finally brought you back to the present.

“You’re a member of the Fatui.”

“I am.”

“Then why did you knock those guys out just now?”

“Boredom.”

You stared at Childe incredulously. Of course you’d heard his name, the man who, it was whispered, almost pulled Liyue into the sea. You’d formed a sort of mental picture of him completely divorced from the redhead now standing in front of you, bouncing slightly on his feet as he smiled cockily. He looked more like a rogue adventurer than one of the heads of a crime syndicate. Maybe that was why you found yourself infatuated, rather than afraid.

This infatuation only grew, fed by the encounters that you had with Childe. It seemed now you couldn’t avoid him, not that you wanted to. What had begun as a chance encounter multiplied into two, into four; soon enough you two had struck up a sort of friendship, one that baffled everyone else around you.

Of course you hadn’t lost all your sense, knowing quite well that the puppy love you were feeling could never be anything more. The way Childe talked about his work, about his duty to the Tsaritsa, made it very clear that he wouldn’t let a partner in his life or in his loyalties. And even if he changed his mind, why would he choose you? You were an adventurer sure, but you hadn’t even been able to properly defend yourself the first time the two of you met, and your oversight of that would’ve surely turned Childe away. Besides, Childe could probably make a partner out of anyone he wanted, if they were foolish enough. Why should that person be you?

Perhaps it was that knowledge that allowed you to be so free in your affection, spurred on by Childe’s own open nature. Hand holding, hugging, leaning one’s head on the other’s shoulder, it was the language of friendship that you two had adopted, and something that you greatly appreciated. There was something nice about a friendship in which one could be so open about caring about someone, without expecting things to go farther. Because you didn’t, you really didn’t. And though that might’ve been a bit painful, it was a small price to pay for Childe’s company.

“I’m going off to Mondstadt for a bit.”

“What?”

You drew away from Childe a bit to look into his face. The two of you were walking along the path towards Yaoguang Shoal, as Childe had taken a particular liking to the Starconches that lined its shores. Now he smiled awkwardly, squeezing your hand and shrugging his shoulders.

“I know, I know. There’s apparently this branch of the Fatui holed up there right now, and I’ve been asked to consult about something, though archons know what it is.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure, I think about two weeks? I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but the troops really must be in disarray if they need me skulking around for the next two weeks.” He let out a awkward laugh.

“I’ll miss you.” You replied, bumping your head into his shoulder and frowning. “It’s very boring without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly capable without me.” Childe smiled, one eyebrow raised slightly. “After all, what would you do if I left someday, permanently. You’d have to find a way without me.”

“Let’s not talk about that.” You replied hurriedly, switching the conversation towards something more pleasant. Unfortunately however the words had already been said, and the damage had already been done.

It had been two weeks since Childe had left for Mondstadt, and though normally you might’ve been waiting at the city gates for his return, you found yourself on the familiar road towards Lingju. Childe’s words had been ringing in your ears for the past two weeks, and you’d found the more time passed the more you kept thinking about them.

What would you do if I left someday, permanently. Is that what Childe truly wanted? To leave? The idea made your stomach hurt, as you began once more to run all your interactions through your head, as if trying to find a flaw in the strips of memory you had of Childe. Was that what Childe truly wanted, or was it simply that he was sick of you? When he’d said “you’d have to find a way without me” did that mean he wanted to find a way without you? Perhaps you’d been too forward, too demanding. Perhaps he’d managed to realize your feelings and felt repelled by them. Had it been too much, meeting him almost everyday for some periods of time, eating lunch together and sometimes dinner. What about that time you’d invited him over to your house to play a game? Had that been too much?

You sighed, dragging yourself over the final ridge. Sitting down to take a rest you closed you eyes. You hated that your mind wandered this way, that no matter what you couldn’t help but ask yourself again and again, what had you done. What would Childe think about this sad person laying on the ground, the sad part was you couldn’t answer that question.

The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you let out a suppressed groan at the figures in your line of sight.

“Don’t you guys ever get posted anywhere else?” You rolled your eyes, reaching behind your back to summon your polearm.

“You’re trespassing.” The voice that came out of the Electro Vanguard was so deep and distorted as to be hilarious.

“Lastly I checked you were neither a citizen of Liyue, nor Rex Lapis, so if anyone’s “trespassing” on public territory it’s you.” You sighed. “Oh well. Unfortunately you caught me on a day where I’m somewhat prepared.” With that you lunged towards the Hydro Legionnaire and the fight began.

Fighting when one is already frustrated is both a blessing and a curse. The fight itself was almost invigorating, the first Fatui hit the ground and with it you felt part of your worries fade away, if only for the small window of time which this fight offered. Was this why Childe fought so much? The though crossed your mind as you whirled behind the Pyro Bracer and pressed as much Electro as you dared into the back of his head, tripping him with the staff of your polearm on his way down.

Soon enough there was only you and the Electro Vanguard left. Unfortunately you were beginning to feel the other side affect of anger, that being misfocus. Being more versed in using your polearm as a sort of lightning rod your found the Vanguard much harder to deal with, more than once barely diving out of the way of the hammer he was swinging around, surprisingly light on his feet considering what the weight must be. Your anger was quickly draining, turning into something more akin to panic, and as you found yourself stumbling more and more you realized that today was really, really not your day.

The Vanguard was becoming aware of how fast you were tiring, a gravelly sort of laugh emerging from behind his mask. As you found your with you back to the slope you wondered if it was just worth it to make an escape. The Fatui swung his hammer once more, barreling towards you. Having nothing left to do you put your polearm out in front of you, hoping that your arms were strong enough not to recoil against the inevitable blow. Closing your eyes you thought of nothing, drowning in a sea of panic. If there was any coherent part of your brain it wished that you weren’t here, that you just stayed home, or swallowed you pride and gone to the gate. But it was too late now, and you were about to get hit.

However the blow never landed, instead a loud sound pierced the air. Whipping your arms open you saw the Electro Vanguard stumble, his hammer having been dropped on the ground. He was grasping towards his ankle, in which was stuck an arrow, glowing a faint aquamarine. Swearing the Fatui member glanced around, before stumbling away, dragging his weapon and his left leg behind him like dead weight.

“Some things never change, huh?”

“Childe!” You whirled towards your once again savior, face burning from embarrassment. “I took out the rest of them this time.”

“I can see that,” said Childe, surveying the area, a telltale smirk on his face, “very impressive. Although, if I may suggest, next time try to take out the Electro Vanguard first, especially since you don’t wield a weapon made for pure damage.”

“Is this turning into a teaching moment?”

“Absolutely not.” Childe laughed.

You found the sound catching, and soon a smile spread across your face as you let your polearm disappear once more. You ran up to Childe, and were about to throw you arms around his neck in a characteristic hug, when the thoughts of before came ramming back into your brain. Taking a step back you planted your arms firmly in front of you, hoping that maybe Childe hadn’t noticed what you’d been about to do.

However Childe approached you instead.

“You weren’t at the gate today.” He said coyly, lips drifting somewhere between a smirk and a frown.

“I’m sorry.” You lowered your head. “I just thought, well maybe that would be better. Since you said you might be leaving permanently and all, and since you were right when you said I’d have to figure things out without you, I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be for the best.”

Looking up the expression on Childe’s face could only be described as one of complete disbelief. For a moment he stayed frozen in place.

“What in Teyvat do you mean I’m leaving permanently?”

“You said that! Remember… when we were going to pick sea shells you said that you were leaving.” You stepped back, cheeks flushed. “Or maybe you were just sort of sick of me or something.”

“Why would you ever think that?” Childe walked up to you, enveloping one of the hands at your side in his own and bringing it up towards him.

“I… I don’t know,” you replied, feeling very confused and very foolish, “I thought maybe that I was being too affectionate, or too clingy. I mean I know you don’t like me or anything like that. And I thought maybe that I was crossing the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I don’t like you? I’ve liked you since almost the first day we’ve met!”

“Not like that! I mean, like like, you know? As in… well, as in I… I love you.” You let your voice peter out.

“I love you too!” Childe let out. Shaking his head he smiled widely. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve liked you since almost the first time we’ve met. I wasn’t trying to shoo you away.”

“What?” Your brain was short circuiting. Something had gone terribly wrong. You’d definitely been knocked out at some point, and was now hallucinating. There was no way Childe liked you, loved you. He could love anyone, why would he love you.

Childe stepped closer, moving so that your foreheads were almost pressed together.

“May I?” He whispered, voice almost shy. You nodded, a just as small “yes” escaping your lips before Childe cut off your ability to say anything more. It was a short kiss, sweet and chaste, and yet you felt everything around you suddenly come into sharp, almost lucid clarity. You weren’t dreaming. This was happening. This was Childe and he liked you. Childe like you. He liked you, he really liked you.

“Why?” You let out, when the two of you separated. Thankfully Childe remained close to you, being without his presence now would’ve been quite lonely.

“Why what?”

“Why me? I’m not, I don’t know, I can’t even knock out an Electro Vanguard without help.”

Childe let out a laugh, lovely as music.

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes sparkling, “because you’re you. And I like you.”

And all of a sudden you found that that was enough.

 Ganyu

The days that you accompanied Ganyu on her various errands were the ones in which you were most aware that you were on a level utterly below her.

Of course humans could never really measure up to adepti, after all they made the world and humans simply lived in it. Still in terms of humans, well you weren’t exactly pushing exceptional. If Ganyu represented all that was exceptional about the adepti, well then you represented the average human who didn’t like their job and overall went about their day as unnoticeable as an ant on the road.

Of course Ganyu never acted in a way that would betray the imbalance between the two of you. Indeed Ganyu was nothing if not kind, sweet, and utterly without a semblance of hierarchy. It was one of the things that you adored about her, the straightforward honesty she carried with her, and the way that she appeared not to judge living beings on a scale, even if that was the right of those who were higher and didn’t have to worry about said scale.

“Can you carry this for me?” Ganyu’s voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. You smiled widely, knowing that Ganyu simply had difficulty asking other people for help.

“Of course I can!” Scooping up the package that was stretched out towards you, you saw Ganyu let out a short sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to help you. Where are we taking this?”

“Over to the funeral parlor. It seems that there are some tiles in here that are being used for a specific ritual. Hu Tao said that the family wanted it, I hope she doesn’t actually mean she pushed them towards it.” Ganyu let out a soft sigh. “She once suggested advertising for cremation. Somehow I feel that won’t exactly be welcomed by the people.”

“No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality. Ah, but Hu Tao is doing her best, and if these tiles end up being insulators, I suppose we can’t do much about it. I’ll make sure not to drop them anyways. Getting on Hu Tao’s bad side feels like asking for a prank.”

“You’re probably right.” Ganyu chuckled.

You blushed slightly, loving the way her laugh sounded, soft and open. You knew Ganyu struggled sometimes; she admitted to you herself that it was very difficult to live an existence defined by liminality. Was she an adeptus? Was she a human? She was neither, and yet both would claim her and call her other. In understanding this Ganyu had retreated into herself. Perhaps that’s why her laugh meant so much.

As you strolled down the docks an angry voice cut through the air.

“Qixing!”

Both of you turning around you saw Bolai, heaving slightly, teetering his way towards you. His face was stormy, and for a moment you wondered if someone had stolen something. His words when he caught up however revealed a very different motivation.

“I demand justice!”

“What for?” Ganyu asked, voice deadly serious once more.

“What for? For what Huixin said in regards to me! For the Liyue Qixing complying with disgusting rumors as to the ways in which I conduct my business and my finances. As to the way that you promised to help me then turned on me!”

“I see…” Ganyu sighed as you wracked your brain, trying to remember what she’d told you about the time that she and the traveler ran around trying to detangle various examples of tax fraud. “Have you considered putting up a formal complaint?” Ganyu meanwhile was still trying to keep professional, something that you admired her for.

“How am I supposed to trust the Qixing after what happened? No! I demand compensation now!”

“Sir, I’m sure you’re quite upset, but there’s no need to act in such a way. If you wish to clear your name, then we can meet in private and review the testimony and documents we received. If not, then I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you. I’m very sorry.”

Ganyu turned back towards the direction in which you two had been previously walking. Evidently too agitated to think properly Bolai let out a strangled cry.

“We’re not finished yet!” Reaching out, he seemed to be attempting to turn Ganyu around by the shoulder. Having been standing there unthinking you now moved to block the action, knowing that Bolai didn’t really mean anything by it, but not trusting the man who looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Bolai’s hand instead smacked into the box in your hands, which slipped from your grip and fell to the floor in a great crash.

Time seemed to slow down somewhat after this, as Bolai stepped backwards and Ganyu turned around, face one of evident horror at the scene. You felt your face begin to burn as you looked at the unassuming box, which now looked a little bit the worse for wear.

“What…” Ganyu trailed off. Bolai waved his hands about in a panicked sort of way.

“That wasn’t me! That wasn’t my fault! It was this person they… I don’t know what they were thinking, getting in the way like that. How idiotic! This is nothing but a mess, a disgrace!”

Normally you wouldn’t pay Bolai’s words any mind, but now they seemed to pierce right through, as you realized all the trouble you’d just caused Ganyu. Glancing over towards her you found you could neither look her in the eyes nor stay where you were.

“I-I’m sorry!” You stammered. Moving to pick up the box you found your hand hesitating. Fearing that you’d just make things worse you pulled yourself and dashed in the opposite direction, speeding up the docks and towards the outskirts of the city.

Normally the view from Mount Tianheng was one that stole your breath away. Today however the mountain seemed completely uninteresting, especially when compared to the thoughts racing in your head.

How had you gotten here, how had you messed up so much? Ganyu didn’t need your posturing, your attempt to help. She was an adeptus for Morax’s sake! And who were you? Someone who couldn’t even carry a box from Point A to Point B. And now you’d just caused more trouble for Ganyu, when she already had so much to do.

“I’m such a failure.” You groaned into your palms.

“You aren’t!” You lifted your head at the soft exclamation, already knowing who the voice belonged to. Ganyu sidled up to the ledge of the mountain silently, fidgeting with her hands. “May I sit next to you?”

“Of course.” You replied, grateful that Ganyu was even talking to you. Smiling softly the Qixing Emissary let out a soft sigh.

“I love the view of the city from here.” She spoke softly, eyes on the horizon.

“I do too.”

“There’s something so lovely about watching everyone go about their day, isn’t there? To see the people work in harmony to bring prosperity and peace to the city of Liyue. To see how everyone continues on the legacy of Rex Lapis.”

“That’s a lot to see.” You joked, still feeling a little uncomfortable, as if Ganyu might in a minute get up and leave.

“But can’t you see it?” Ganyu’s voice was earnest and her eyes shined. “It’s wonderful how people do it, how they continue to make this city thrive, to keep the contracts of Morax alive and within living memory.”

“Perhaps it’s just harder for humans to judge it themselves?”

“Perhaps.” Ganyu’s expression shifted into something, almost shy, not quite melancholic. “Just like how you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself.”

“I’m so sorry Ganyu. I don’t know what I was thinking! I just… I just, wasn’t thinking.”

“You were trying to be kind.” Ganyu replied, something almost akin to blush coating her cheeks. “And I have to thank you for that.”

“But I just caused more trouble…”

“You were trying to be kind,” Ganyu repeated, “like I said, you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself. But you have to. You didn’t truly do anything that needs forgiveness.”

“But I was doing it for completely selfish reasons!” You blurted out, embarrassment and doubt turning into the words you never wanted to utter. “It’s because I like you, and not just because I was trying to be nice. But because, because maybe I wanted to do something for you, and then maybe I’d be good enough maybe.” Realizing how odd that just sounded you turned your head away. For a moment your words hung in the air, and the longer the silence continued the longer you thought about how utterly selfish you were.

“Thank you.” There was a smile in Ganyu’s voice, and as you turned your head once more you could see it plastered across her face.

“For what?”

“For telling me you like me.”

“But… but isn’t it just burdening you? After all I’m not good enough for you.”

“You are!” Ganyu’s voice was firm. “You’re absolutely good enough for me. And what you did, you call it selfishness, but I don’t understand that. Being kind to people you like isn’t selfish, even if you like them. Because this time you were genuinely helping me. Besides, if that’s selfish then I’ve also been terribly selfish.”

“How?”

“By asking you to accompany me everywhere. Because maybe, maybe I like you too.”

For a moment you wondered if you hadn’t accidentally slipped off the cliff, so weightless did you feel. A bit lightheaded you leaned forward.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ganyu smiled nervously. Reaching out she took your hand in hers.

The two of you watched the sun set over the city of contracts mostly in silence. Every once in a while there would be a spurt of conversation, but mostly there was nothing but the sounds of the birds and the cicadas, and the pounding of two hearts, hearts both a bit ragged from the events of the day.

For what a day it had been. And how wonderfully it had ended.

 Kaeya

If you could use anything as justification for your crush on Kaeya, he did flirt with you. Unfortunately he also flirted with everyone else in Mondstadt.

“How’s my favorite knight of Favonius?” Kaeya’s cocky voice was clear as a bell, and for a moment your heart flipped as the handsome knight came into view, smile as lovely as it had been the day before.

“Blessed by the presence of our beloved cavalry captain.” You replied in a singsong voice.

The first time Kaeya had used that line on you it felt like your soul had left your body and your heart had run a marathon. Unfortunately you’d heard him use practically the same line on Rosaria the next day, his favorite mysterious nun, robbing you of your fantasy in which Kaeya had any interest for you.

Your banter however was not without genuine feeling. You were utterly infatuated with Kaeya, having fallen for the handsome knight about two weeks into your own training. Originally having been an adventurer you’d joined the knights relatively recently after a series of Abyss attacks on the City of Freedom. As such Kaeya had by then already occupied an exalted position among the ranks, and the hours of being trained, teased, and flirted at by the mysterious cavalry captain had been enough to throw you head over heels.

Not that you’d ever expect things to develop more than they already had. Having a crush on the flirtiest man in Mondstadt did mean that you were praised every once in a while, but it also meant that the praise meant little more than empty words, and that there was always someone else who had heard them. Not that you begrudged those people, not knowing them or not caring. It was Kaeya’s right to be as he was, flirty and irreverent; and you’d never ask him to change that part of himself, or any other.

To do so would be to change the person you’d grown to love.

You trotted up the steps of the Favonius headquarters, opening the door with a slight “oof” before stepping into the cool building. Today was going to be a quiet sort of day for the knights, and you’d been assigned to pick up a few books from Jean’s office to be recorded by Lisa before being sent off to the Church. Going to open the door you paused at the voices inside.

“– saying it’s nothing.”

“And I’m saying that it’s becoming a distraction. I don’t want to control your actions Kaeya, but this pining has been slowing down your work, and we need you as one of our most crucial members to be on top of things.”

“I’m not pining.”

“What do you mean you aren’t pining,” Jean let out a snort, “as if it’s not obvious to everyone around you. Look, I’m not saying you have to break things off –”

“Good, because they haven’t even begun.”

“Then maybe that’s part of your problem. Maybe if you told them you liked them then you’d be able to get back on track.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“You aren’t doing anything. And that’s the problem.”

You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, having made your way over to the library as to make sure that you were get caught, and to cool your head in regards to what you’d just heard.

So Kaeya liked someone. You shouldn’t’ve really been surprised. Kaeya was a wonderful person; intelligent, good with a weapon, polite, handsome. What person wouldn’t fall in love with him? And when everyone’s in love with you, well, it was unsurprising that eventually Kaeya would find someone who he loved back just as much. Then, why did it hurt?

You fought the urge to wrack your brain for the people Kaeya spoke most about, finding the act beneath you. Still, your mind wandered. Perhaps it was Rosaria after all, or maybe it was only because you remembered her. Perhaps it was the sword smith who came twice monthly to check up on the weaponry. Or perhaps it was the tailor, who could sew anything with the utmost care. Or perhaps it was a musician, or an archivist, or another knight. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Your head swam and you found your eyes stinging. Now wasn’t the time to cry, not when you needed to honor your appointment with Jean, not when you were somewhere where any one of your colleagues might discover you. Not where Kaeya might walk in any minute and realize what you’d done. This thought finally brought you out of the spiral of your mind. Making sure that any tears that might’ve escaped were wiped away you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you walked out of the library and into Jean’s office.

Evidently you must’ve looked much worse than you thought, for Jean took one look at you and ordered you home, grumbling about how much trouble there had been recently. You thanked her half-heartedly before making your way out of the Headquarters, heart heavy as lead. At least work would’ve been a welcome distraction.

Arriving home you saw what Jean meant. Though you weren’t particularly teary, your face had taken on an ashen pallor that made it look like you’d either just gotten a shock, fainted, or had suddenly contracted consumption. Letting out a sigh you collapsed on the couch of your apartment. You knew you should probably do something, should eat or work on some extra work or something. But right now you didn’t want to do any of that. You just wanted to forget.

The knock that sounded at your door was extremely unwelcome, and you bit back bitter words as you made your way over to the door. Any protest however was silenced at the sight of Kaeya, hair slightly tussled, expression opaque, on your doorstep.

“Kaeya.” You meant to sound more peppy, but the action felt too tiring. “What’re you doing here?”

“Making sure that you’re alright. Jean told me that you looked unwell, and we can’t have our best knight getting sick, now can we?”

“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

You went to turn around, when Kaeya reached over and place his hand on your forehead. Freezing you let out a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a shriek. Kaeya didn’t react to this however, or the red quickly spreading across the bridge of your nose. Instead he let out a sigh, before smiling, something which also caused your heart to seize up.

“Not running a fever. I’m glad. Do you know what’s wrong by any chance?”

“Yes. No! I mean, I think, I, I just need rest.”

“You can tell me if something’s wrong. I might not be able to help, but I can try. Consider it the duty of the Cavalry Captain. Have to keep up appearances, even among the ranks.”

“Really Kaeya, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” Kaeya’s eye seemed to pierce through your soul. “You seem… upset, exhausted. Please, let me help.”

“I can’t…” Your voice cracked and you turned your head away, mortified by your inability to control yourself.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Kaeya’s voice was filled with sudden worry. “Is someone doing something to you?”

“No! No one is. I just can’t because, because it’d be selfish.”

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s tone had become utterly perplexed, and for a moment you felt the crazy urge to laugh. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious why you couldn’t. This was so tiring. You were so tired.

“Because it’s not fair of me to take away your happiness just because of my own feelings.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I heard you talking to Jean,” you explain, face burning, “she said that you liked someone. Or maybe you did, I don’t remember. Anyways you like someone and it’s not fair of that to hurt me, I have no right to your feelings. But, but it hurts, it really, really hurts.”

The silence when you finished was miserable. You weren’t even looking up at Kaeya, not wanting to see the destruction of a friendship you valued so much.

“Have you considered that the person I’m so infatuated with might be you?”

When you looked up you caught a wave of emotions, similar in strength to the ones currently going through you, plastered over Kaeya’s face. Happiness, sadness, regret, relief; all these things danced in his eyes. In that moment you loved him even more for it, for knowing that he understood, and that he too couldn’t hide the affects of having someone you loved so close and yet so far.

Saying nothing you walked over and slowly stretched your hand out. Kaeya took the hand in his, and you reveled in the small intimacy, in his calloused fingers enveloping yours.

“I’m not good enough.” You pointed out, voice soft.

“You aren’t the one who decides who I love.” Kaeya replied, voice firm. “To me there is no one else worthy in the world. Only you. And I hope that I can be the same for you, that I can be worthy.”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

For Kaeya was more than simply worthy. He was the one you loved the most, as well as the one who’d now made you the happiest person you could ever dream of.

[atiny-ahgase]

The Promise And A Stray Pup

Title: The Promise And A Stray Pup

Chapter 2: Promise You’ll Be Good

Author’s Note: Okay so I usually write the author’s notes before I even write the story idk why… I just do. Anyway, I had no idea how this is gonna turn out soo..yeah.

Summary: Y/n returns home in search of a hybrid friend that she had left oh so long ago. Will she be able to help him? Did their friendship withstand the hands of time or did it crumble from the pressure? 

This is chapter 2 of the Series “A Pinky Promise And A Stray Pup, you can read chapter 1 here.

----------------------------

Pairing: Hybrid Yunho x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Genre: Hybrid au, Fluff, Smut

Warnings: Smut, Dom Reader, Sub Yunho, Edging, Controlled Orgasm, Masturbation

Contains: Hybrid Yunho, Gender Neutral Reader, Fluff, Smut

---------------------------

You paced through the narrow hallway of your one-bedroom apartment for what seemed like the millionth time. Releasing a loud groan you dove unto the soft cushions of your couch, burying your face in one of your many throw pillows. It had been exactly 2 days,14 hours, and 27 minutes since you had last seen Yunho...not that you were counting or anything. He seemed kinda off during your last interaction, his breathing seemed strained and his cheeks were a bright shade of pink, granted his face seemed to be tinted that light shade of pink quite often. His voice wasn’t the smooth sweet melody that you had already become so used to, it seemed deeper, almost huskier. Sure, he had just woken up but still, something felt off to you. Maybe you were overthinking it, over-analyzing the situation as you usually did but how could you not? He hadn’t contacted you for two whole days. Sure, he could be busy with work but when you visited his workplace they said that he hadn’t been in on that day. Then where was he? What could he possibly be doing?

What if he was sick? What if he had realized that you weren’t the same kindergartener that he had met so many years ago? What if he didn’t want to be friends with you anymore? What would you do then? Everything that you had done since the moment you and Yunho had parted ways was all done to meet him again. You studied extra hard to get a scholarship, you worked extra shifts to pay off apartment expenses, you settled on choosing this apartment because it was closer to your old school. Everything that you had done was all for him but...what if he didn’t want that? What if he was having second thoughts? Where would that leave you? What would you do when your entire reason for bettering yourself decided that you weren’t enough?

He said that he’d come to visit you again but it's been two days and still nothing, you were starting to worry. Sure you hadn’t seen him for twelve years prior but now even a day without him feels unbearable. You’d wondered how you had survived so long without having him by your side. Even your tiny apartment felt as though it had tripled in size since his absence, the walls seemed to have expanded overnight, feeling far too large for just you. Yunho seemed to fit so perfectly in your life so the fact that he wasn’t there next to you felt like such a foreign feeling even though he had only recently reentered it.

Your worrying carried on for the remainder of the week and before you knew it classes had begun. The first couple of days were pretty basic; mostly consisting of introductions and lesson plans. You had even somehow managed to befriend the bespeckled hybrid boy who sat next to you in your Math class. His hair was dyed a soft orange which highlighted the warmth of his smile, he wore an oversized hoodie and round-rimmed glasses. Even seated he towered over you, and to be quite honest you were originally incredibly intimidated by his large stature but that lasted a solid two minutes. His dog-like playfulness immediately shining through, casting away all of your prior fears. You had both managed to get pretty close before your class had started, him laughing at all of your jokes, his tail happily wagging behind you as he clutched his stomach, tears springing from his eyes.

He introduced himself as Mingi, a dog hybrid who only moved in a few months ago, apparently he wanted a fresh place to make a new start and opted for somewhere quiet. Surprisingly you both shared a lot of the same courses which was great for you because now you had a seat buddy. The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly and it was finally time for lunch, you and Mingi sat on the wooden benches across from the school library, taking in the way the yellow leaves danced in the wind as the breeze sang a gentle song. Your shoulders brushed each others’ as you listened to his stories about his hometown, your attention hanging on to every single word that he spoke. His way of telling stories captivated you, it was as though you were watching a movie, every scene that he set was so vivid, it was as though you were living through each moment. Before long your school day had ended and it was finally time to go home. Walking out from your final lecture for the day you looked up at the sky “, Looks like it’s about to rain,” you hypothesized.

“Please don’t jinx it, the UNI’s Shuttle doesn’t drop me off at the front of my house and I really don’t wanna walk through the rain,” he explained with an exasperated sigh. Soon after his words were uttered a thunderous roar was heard from the sky and raindrops began falling unto the earth below. You could hear the displeased groans from your friend beside you which caused you to let out a small laugh. “Alright Mingi tell me where you live and I’ll think about giving you a ride”, you jokingly said while pulling him in the direction of your car. “You’re the best Y/n,” he said before engulfing you into a hug from behind. “Mingi you’re gonna crush me then I’lldie before I drive you home,” you exclaimed while trying to control your laughter. Were all dog hybrids this affectionate?

Mingi lived fairly close to the supermarket where Yunho worked which was great for you since you found yet another excuse to ‘drop in’ after you had dropped Mingi off. Unfortunately, Yunho wasn’t there yet again and quite honestly it was starting to get on your nerves. You released a loud sigh before heading to your car and driving home. It was only upon arriving home did you notice Mingi’s jacket seated comfortably on your back seat. You playfully rolled your eyes before retrieving it and bringing it into your apartment. Pulling out your phone you sent him a quick text informing him that you were holding his jacket for ransom and if he doesn’t buy you breakfast tomorrow then he’ll never see it again. You know just a basic text. After that was done you decided that your couch was as good a place as any for Mingi’s jacket to rest for the night.

Not long after getting comfortable, you heard someone knocking at your door. “Who could that be?” you thought. You didn’t know that many people from around here and even if you did they didn’t know where you lived. Getting up from your couch you walked over to the door pulling it open to reveal who was on the other side.

“And here I thought that you forgot where I lived,” you remarked as you looked up at the dog hybrid towering above you. Of course, it was Yunho, the only other person in town that knew where you lived was your landlady, and something was telling you that she had little to no reason to come knocking on your door at this hour. “I’m really sorry Y/n,” you heard him say softly, if it had been any quieter you would not have heard him at all. Looking at his face it seemed a lot paler than you remembered and he wore a tired expression as though he hadn’t slept for days.

“I wanted to come to see you sooner but I was really sick and I wanted to call but I didn’t have your number,” he began to explain in a voice that was even gentler than what you were used to. Even the yellow of his eyes seemed to dull significantly, how could you stay mad at someone in that state. To be honest, he could have shown up at your doorstep in peak condition and no excuse, and you’d probably still forgive him. For the longest time whether you were together or apart you had the softest spot for Yunho, even with the greatest determination once you looked into those golden eyes your heart would surely falter.

“You should probably come in, it’s getting pretty chilly these days,” you smiled up at him before further opening the door allowing him inside. Closing the door you sat on the couch and patted the spot beside you expectantly. Yunho taking that as his cue quickly filled in the empty space next to you engulfing your body in his warmth. You had quickly become used to having him next to you so much that his absence for those few days had you feeling incredibly cold. “I really am sorry Y/n, I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he explained as he placed his head on your shoulder nuzzling into your neck.

Placing your hand at the nape of his neck you were about to comfort him about the situation; since he seemed to be beating himself up quite a bit. However, before you could otter a word you could feel his grip on you tightening slightly.

“Y/n” you heard him say no louder than a whisper, his voice deeper than you were used to, “Whose jacket is this?” Referring to the green jacket which was placed on the couch.

“Oh, that’s Mingi’s he forgot it in my car-,” you began but before you could finish you felt a sharp pain at your collar bone followed by the soothing sensation of his warm tongue gliding over your bruised skin. You could feel it caressing your skin so tenderly that goosebumps began to form all over your body. “Yunho,” you whimpered in his arms while struggling to escape his grasp.

“I don’t like it. Why are you spending time with other hybrids when you already have me?” he calmly stated, punctuating each word with gentle kisses running along your throat. “I’ve only just found you, I’m not letting another hybrid take you away from me. You’re mine and I’m yours” he continued on while tightening his grip on you even more. His body pressed firmly to yours as he continued to nip on the tender skin of your neck. 

The area began to burn with the most pleasant of pains, your body aching in the best way imaginable. But you knew that you couldn’t stay like that otherwise he would just continue to misunderstand you. “Yunho could you just listen-,” you tried to reason with him as best as you could even though you could hear your voice falter as his lips reached your collarbone. This was the second time he had done this and as pleasurable as it is also beginning to get tiring.

You kept on telling yourself that this was bad no matter how good he made you feel. You couldn’t deny that you could easily become addicted to the sensation of his body on yours; completely trapping you in its warmth. But you couldn’t just let him do as he pleased. It’s true that hybrids have a more difficult time controlling their emotions but this is not an excuse. He couldn’t just continue to act on impulse every time his emotions get too strong. It gets easier with time and a hybrid of Yunho’s age should already be adequately good at it.

But I guess that’s the difference between Yunho and other hybrids his age, they were probably trained better than Yunho. He lived his younger years on the street so there is a possibility that he still hasn’t perfected self-control. He was like a puppy in an adult dog’s body; succumbing to every urge that comes his way. Gathering your thoughts you took a deep breath before speaking. “Yunho sit,” you said in a stern voice, much more than you ever thought you could muster up. You felt his body become rigid against yours but he made no actions to remove himself from you. “Yunho sit!” you said with a little more force; your eyes piercing into his. You heard him whimper before he peeled himself away from you to have a seat. You had expected him to return to his previous spot beside you but he didn’t. Yunho opted to sit on his heels at the base of the couch; right where your feet had lain. His head hung low as his palms gently rested on his knees.

Seeing the sight before you left you struggling to remain seated, he looked so ductile, so obedient and something about it made you feel so hot. He wouldn’t even meet your eyes and you loved it, although you had been the one to stop his previous advances it was almost as though you were at the mercies of your instinct, you wanted nothing more than to completely devour him. You took a deep breath in the futile attempt to gather your thoughts before speaking to him, he’d probably let you.

“Yunho I let your behavior slide twice before, but at this point, I’m beginning to think that you want to be scolded by me,” you stated while coking your eyebrow up. “No I don’t I’m sorry,” you heard him mumble towards the floor. Placing your hand on his cheek you felt the way his body shivered at your touch. “Puppy shouldn’t you look at me when I’m talking to you,” you whispered your face only a few inches from his. You could clearly see his lips quivering as you took in the strained features of his face.

“You’re right I’m sorry,” he whimpered, his fists clenched against his jeans. “And exactly what is my puppy sorry for?” you inquired, your lip twisted up in a slight smirk. It amused you; someone so much smaller than him, could have so much power over him, just the thought had you shivering in your seat.

“I’m sorry for attacking you and for not coming to see you,” he stated, his pleading eyes drowning in your own. “And what was the reason that my dear puppy couldn’t come see his owner?” you continued on loving the pure look of ecstasy on his face when you referred to yourself as his owner. His knuckles tightened as his body began to tremble, clearly holding itself back from the pleasure that was clearly bubbling inside of him. “I was sick,” he said in a hushed tone.

“Oh were you now?” you edged on, your pointer finger gliding across his adam’s apple. “Please,” he whimpered before he began to hunch forward in an attempt to ease the pressure building up at his crotch. “You say that you’re sorry but apparently that doesn’t apply to all of you,” you confessed before gently placing your foot on his crutch. The sound that he released was probably the most beautiful you’ve ever heard; it almost made you want to end your teasing, almost.

Removing your foot from his crutch you stare in awe at the thin thread of clear liquid which connected your toes to the ever-growing bulge in his pants. “For someone who is soo sorry you seem to be enjoying yourself quite a bit,” you stated as you wiggled your toes, almost playing in the precum coating them. From your seat above him, you could see him frantically shaking his head as he rocked in place on the floor beneath you. “Oh, so you’re not,” you inquired as you brought your face on the same level before you continued, “then maybe you should start answering me honestly? There is no need to be this stubborn with me”.

“I was in heat,” he replied; his head hung low as his ears began to redden. “So my puppy left me worried and alone cause you couldn’t keep it in his pants? Seeing the state that you’re in I can’t say that I’m surprised,” you replied, your eyes never once leaving his quivering body. Leaning back into your seat you took one final glance at him before speaking, “Take it off.” You could hear him release a sigh before reaching for his shirt. “No,” you interrupted him mid-action, “just your bottoms.” With crosswinds coming in so quickly Yunho was dressed in a caramel-colored knitted turtleneck and a pair of black jeans. You didn’t think that turtle necks could turn you on to this extent, just the thought of Yunho wearing turtle necks to hide the marks that you’ve left on his neck got a fire burning deep into your core.

You were so lost in your thoughts that the only thing pulling you away was the load, animalistic groan which escaped the hybrid’s lips as he slowly touched himself. His nimble fingers teasing the tip of his erect cock, urging it to release even more precum than it already was. The clear liquid flowed from the tip of his reddened cock down his hand, coating it in the perverse liquid. “I don’t remember telling you that you could touch yourself now did I puppy,” you stated watching as he briskly removed his hand from his aching cock; wincing as the cold breeze caressed it. “Do you want me to touch you?” you inquired. 

“I do,” he began; his breathing short and strained, “but I’ve been bad.” 

“That’s true but that doesn’t mean that my puppy doesn’t deserve to be cared for now does it?” you rhetorically asked.

Finally leaving your place on the couch you crept beside him, grasping his dick in your much smaller hand, your mouth watering at the sight.  Almost immediately you could feel Yunho bucking his hips upward, chasing his much-desired release with great intensity. Taking your free hand you gripped his hip harshly, your nails grazing along his side. Yunho moaned at the pain, his body shivering as his head dropped to rest on your shoulder. “Stay still for me okay baby,” you whispered, your breath tickling his ear. Continuing at a rather snow pace you ran your hand along Yunho’s engorged dick, tracing its veins with your fingers and watching as his entire body twitched in response. You could feel him leaving tentative kisses along your shoulder but you didn’t stop him this time, he was finally being good so he deserved a little treat. Right?

You tightened your grip as you continued to pleasure him, enjoying the sweet sounds of his moans in your ear; you could listen to it all day but that might actually break him and you couldn’t do that to your puppy. “Close, I’m close. Please can I come,” he begged into your shoulder as his hands caressed your sides ever so slightly; the searing heat radiating from his entire body paled in comparison the that of his pulsating dick. He looked as though he was ready to burst but resisting until you gave him the go-ahead trying with the utmost desperation to be good for you. Should you allow him to release or should you let that pressure build up inside of him just a little longer to see how long he could fight against his instinct? 

Your thought process was interrupted by your phone ringing on the couch cushion behind you, you weren’t all that interested to answer but you had an idea of who it might be so you decided to play with your puppy just a little longer. “Yunho could you grab my phone for me please,” you asked, your free hand caressing his back to get his attention. Looking at his face caused shivers to run through your spine; it was nothing like you’ve ever felt before, your body was screaming with pure ecstasy. His face was flushed pink and glistening with perspiration, his teary, yellow eyes were almost engulfed by his dilated pupils and only heavy breathing could be heard from his swollen lips. Yunho was always irresistible in your eyes but seeing him in this state; he looked absolutely delectable.

You had expected him to put up some sort of resistance but he didn’t, he simply stretched forward; groaning at the new angle in which you were holding his dick, and grabbed your phone. “Who’s calling?” you inquired, already having a decent idea of who it is. From the growl that escaped Yunho’s lips, you already knew that you were right but you still wanted to hear him say it. You didn’t say a word to him you simply stopped the movement of your hand and looked at him, your eyes boring into his in an attempt to deduce his next move. Was he really that against you talking to Mingi? Or was it just because of the timing of the call? “Mingi,” he whispered before handing me the phone. Taking it from his hand you could see Yunho attempt to fix his clothes. “Stay,” you simply said to him before answering the still ringing phone.

To be quite honest you weren’t really paying any mind to what Mingi was saying; your senses focused on the whimpering hybrid beside you. You had already begun caressing his dick once more while still being on the phone with Mingi, you didn’t mind too much if Mingi found out what you were doing but Yunho on the other hand tried his absolute best to keep his noises at bay. This continued on for a few more minutes as you tried your best to keep Mingi on the phone, testing how long Yunho could hold out. Quickening your pace on his ever-flowing dick you could see Yunho convolve as he clung unto you, his teeth threatening to tear through his lush lips. He was almost at his breaking point.

“Mingi could you just hold on please my friend is calling the apartment phone,” you lied, “oh no you don’t need to hang up it will only take a minute.” Placing your phone against your shoulder; but not really attempting to muffle any sound, you turned to Yunho, “Are you coming today or not?” you enquired in the best nonchalant voice you could muster up. To Mingi it would just seem as though you had a friend over but Yunho knew better, his needy pants and muffled whimpers understood all too well. Looking up at you he nodded his head frantically before burying his face into your shoulder once more in a desperate attempt to muffle his sounds. He couldn’t hold it in any longer, if he was asked to his entire body would have surely combusted right there and then.

“Okay then hurry up,” you replied before returning to your phone call. “Yeah I’m gonna watch a movie with a friend in a bit, you should come next-,” you continued your conversation until you felt a sharp pain on your neck causing you to yelp, followed by a splash of liquid landing on your hand. “Are you okay?” you heard Mingi ask. “Yeah I’m fine I just bumped my toe,” you explained with a slight laugh trying your best to calm your breathing. “Well that’s good then,” he continued, “but please be careful else you’ll make me worry.”

“You don’t need to though, I already have someone like that and he’ll be here soon so I should go,” you stated before saying your goodbyes. You could sense a slight opposition from Mingi on the phone but that didn’t bother you much cause you had someone else to worry about. You look one last look at the quivering hybrid who had collapsed on your living room floor before you stood up.

Rushing to the restroom you began filling the bathtub before retrieving a damp cloth and heading back to the exhausted hybrid in your living room. After cleaning up most of the mess you told Yunho that he needed to take a bath which resulted in him releasing a groan before attempting to get up. Standing beside him you watched as his legs shook releasing a small giggle at the sight. “Shut up,” he said with a slight pout on his lips. “I really did a number on you didn’t I,” you continued.

“Please stop talking,” he groaned as he slowly made his way to your restroom. “Are you going to make me?” you pushed on loving the personality gap that he was displaying. You loved how he went from a whimpering mess to the playful yet slightly defiant Yunho that he currently is. You felt his grip on your arm, pulling you closer to him until your bodies were connected. “Do you want me to?” he inquired, his golden eyes searching yours. “Huh?” was the only thing that could leave your mouth, unbelievable, even after all that you’ve just done to him he can still reduce you to a deer in the headlights that simplicity? “I’m yours,” he whispered just softly enough for you both to hear; like it was a precious secret only to be shared between you too, “I’d do anything you want me to. Whatever you want from me I’ll give it to you.”

[moonbeamwritings]

Imagine a scenario based off a dream I had, modern AU where DIO is like 28 a single father, Lawyer to the Stars on the Coast of California with little 7 year old Giorno.

The Reader, Tired- maybe coming off an over night shift, half asleep is casually walking down the busy sidewalk, catches sight of a distracted Giorno not waiting at the cross walk (on his Gameboy or something) and in an instantly the reader pulls Giogio out of the way of an on passing car.

Boom. Dio saw it all and starts scolding Gio. I woke up after that bit.

Point is... I wonder what would have happened next 🤔😕😳

this is cool as hell, anon. cool. as. hell. i’m here for it and i will definitely try to deliver !! it got very out of hand, but i hope you enjoy!! 

part 2

Your day had been long, having worked open to close at the coffee shop down the street from your apartment. As your shift came to an end, you blearily worked through the closer checklist, puttering around the store as you cleaned and closed everything down. With one last turn of a key, you finally, finally, began your trek home.

As you came up to the crosswalk, you noticed a little boy toddling along, gaming system in hand as he went. He was so wrapped up in his game that he barely gave the busy street a second thought as he stepped a foot off the curb.

It was like you were watching the situation in slow motion, his foot moving at a snail’s pace right in front of a moving car. Acting on adrenaline alone, suddenly far more awake than you’d ever felt in your life, you gripped the handle of his backpack to yank him up and into your arms.

With him back on the sidewalk, you placed him back on his feet as you knelt in front of him. “Jeez kiddo, you alright? You have to pay better attention around here.”

As the small boy opened his mouth to say something, a man with a thick british accent came hustling over. “Giorno! How many times do I have to tell you to put that thing away when you’re walking?”

The man, who you could only assume was his father, pulled the device from the boy’s hand before lifting him up into his arms. “Don’t do that again.”

His son nodded meekly, eyes shifting down to his father’s shoes.

“I’m sorry about him. I thought he was right next to me.”

You waved the man off as your gaze finally moved to meet his. He was handsome, like something out of a fairytale, all muscle with perfectly styled blond hair and an impeccable, no doubt expensive, suit. In the back of your mind, you felt as if you’d seen him before, but, being unable to place it, you brushed the thought away.

Saving yourself the embarrassment of ogling at the man for too much longer, you excused yourself. “It’s no problem. Have a nice night you two.”

With the situation over with, you continued your walk home.

Upon your arrival, you did everything you could to decompress: showering, changing, and situating yourself on your couch to watch mindless television. As you flicked through channel after channel, you finally landed on a celebrity gossip station, half listening as the host worked through this week’s hot topics.

You rolled your eyes.

She went on to describe yet another celebrity’s messy divorce, among other criminal charges apparently. Your attention was quickly piqued, though, when a familiar face flashed onto your screen. There he was a perfect combination of muscle, confidence, and style.

Dio Brando.

The man whose child you’d saved, who you’d embarrassingly checked out in a tired stupor, was Dio Brando. It took everything in you not to bring a hand up to smack at your own forehead. No wonder you’d recognized him, he was any celebrity’s dream lawyer and had his own fair share of scandals and nonsense. 

Yikes.

With one final look at the man in question, you changed the channel, hardly able to bear the gritty details of a court case you didn’t care about.

The whole incident with him and his son became nothing more than a blip in your day-to-day life, telling a few work friends and leaving it at that. Did you sometimes check Dio’s Instagram out of what you explained away as genuine curiosity? Well, yeah, but you were only human after all.

The weekend after your run-in with the famous lawyer, you were tasked with another long shift slaving over coffee orders and dealing with rude customers. The moment the morning rush ended, you jumped at the chance to take your lunch break, situating yourself in a corner of the café. You watched as only a few customers filtered in and out, thankful that the worst of the day was now over.

Losing yourself in your Twitter feed, you mindlessly sipped at a cup of tea as the remaining time of your break ticked away, only snapping back to reality at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Mind if I join you?” Looking up from your phone, you locked eyes with Dio. 

“Oh! Uh, sure!”

You watched as he delicately sat himself in the chair across from you, ankle perched on his knee as he shot you an unwavering smirk. As he got situated, he stuck a hand in your direction.

“Dio Brando.”

Biting back a snarky quip about how narcissistic his introduction alone made him seem, you gently placed your hand in his as you gave him your name.

“I wanted to thank you again for what you did for my son.”

“It’s really no problem. I think anyone would have done the same.”

He eyed you carefully, fingers dancing against the mug in front of him. “So, what do you want?”

“Excuse me?”

“As repayment.” He explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you want money?” Dio leaned across the table to mumble, “Sex, maybe? I don’t like leaving debts unpaid.”

A look of disgust crossed your face as you put both your phone and drink down on the table, moving to sit on your hands to resist the urge to smack him upside the head. “What are you talking about? I don’t want anything. I was being nice. You don’t need to pay anyone off for being nice.”

“Hmm,” He seemed deep in thought, eyes drifting up and down your face, lingering on your lips for only a split second, “nothing at all? You do know who I am, don’t you?”

With your break coming to an end and your patience wearing thin, you started to collect your things. “Look, pretty boy, I don’t really care who you are. You’re honestly kind of insufferable. I helped your son because he was in trouble. I don’t want your money and I don’t want to have sex with you.”

You hadn’t meant to be quite that biting, but you couldn’t help yourself. How dare he come into your work, assume that he owed you something, and then have the audacity to tease you about it? What the fuck?

“Pretty boy?”

“I need to get back to work. I’d really appreciate it if you didn't come back in here if you’re just going to pull more of this shit.”

Without sparing him a second glance, you made your way back behind the counter, placing your stuff in the back before returning to your place at the register. By the time you returned, he was gone. Good riddance.

You could only assume how warped his worldview was if he genuinely thought he needed to pay you off for helping his son. A creeping feeling of sympathy worked its way into your brain, but was quickly swatted away by the image of his smug smile.

You didn’t see him again for another week, this time armed with a grin that was a little less playful and a little more genuine, almost sheepish.

Taking his order with little fuss, you got to work pouring his coffee and adding specific ingredients. He attempted to make idle conversation with you, asking about your day and how you’d been doing with work. You humored him, if only to be polite, answering his questions with little enthusiasm.

Days passed much the same way. Dio would come in, make small talk, and then leave. No further incidents like that first meeting, no more overt attempts at getting in your pants. Nothing.

It was all… strange, to put it simply. It was like dealing with two different people: the overconfident, well-dressed Dio Brando versus the charming single dad Dio. You were left conflicted, wrestling the two images in your mind to decide how you truly saw Dio.

One night, he’d offered to walk you home after another of your late shifts with the promise that he’d get up to no funny business, as you’d put it. The conversation had lulled as you both became enraptured with the noises of the city, your faces bathed in warm neon lights. The silence was nice, welcomed even, as you thought about how to phrase your feelings.

You’d come to like Dio, in your own silly little way. You had memorized his order, knew more about his job and his son, knew him more intimately than you had ever expected to, but one question remained. One question loomed in your brain, clouding any positive thoughts you may otherwise have: Why? Why did he suddenly come into your work? Why did he take such a liking to you? Was it all a ruse, a sick way of finally repaying you?

“You look like you’re about to throw up.” He commented lightly, watching as a crease formed between your eyebrows, as your face twisted in discomfort.

“I-” You took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at him in order to actually get the question out. “Dio, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He spoke earnestly, eyes still tracing over your side profile.

“Why?”

“Why what? You’re going to need to be more specific.”

“Why would you keep coming into the store after I told you off? I just can’t shake this feeling that you’re still… ugh,” you groaned as the words left your mouth, deciding that this was actually a very bad idea, “I don’t know, buttering me up. Like this is all some dream where I’ll wake up to you laughing in my face, telling me that you were only being nice to me to repay me or sleep with me or something.”

Wordlessly, Dio grasped your arm and led you under the awning of a nearby business, not really wanting to stop sidewalk traffic with whatever confession he may find himself making. He looked deathly serious, like you’d just promised to ruin his entire life. Maybe, with all of your questioning, you had.

“Look,” he sighed, “Did I initially come in with the intention of repaying you by whatever means necessary? Yes and I think we both know that, but it’s different now.”

He paused, clearly choosing his next words very carefully. “You’re one of the only people to actually try to put me in my place, to show me that I was being an asshole. It’s different with you. Hell, you kept me up that night. I couldn’t get you out of my head. It was like you were haunting me, driving me crazy. I had to get to the bottom of why I was so taken with you.”

You felt your mouth drop open at his admission, feeling as though your feet were swept right out from under you, sending you tumbling, “Oh.”

“Oh.” Dio mimicked, his voice lilting up to tease you. “Does that answer your question?”

“Uh, I-... Yeah, I guess it does.”

“Good then let’s go.” He tugged you along, guiding you back out onto the sidewalk and towards your apartment. Dio’s hand didn’t leave yours until you arrived at your doorstep.

“Goodnight.” It was quick, uttered as soon as his hand left yours as he moved to turn around and make his own way home.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Home. I have a kid, remember?”

“Well, of course I remember, but don’t you want to hear what I have to say?”

The smile that graced his face was nothing short of teasing, a small quirk of his lips as he looked you up and down. “Only if it’s interesting.”

“Ugh,” you grumbled, stomping down the stairs of your apartment complex to come face-to-face with Dio, “you’re relentless.”

“So I’ve been told.” He watches as your lip twitches in annoyance. God, did he love to push your buttons. “Spit it out, then. What’s still on your mind? Eager to ask me more questions?”

In lieu of a verbal retort, you took his face in your hands and all but yanked him down to connect your lips with his, eager to finally shut him up. His response was immediate, moving his lips against yours as a hand weaved around your waist, another resting just above your ass.

As you moved to break away, his lips followed yours, pressing another needy kiss to your mouth. Finally satiated, he pulled back to take in the dazed expression on your face.

“I do have one question.”

Dio let out a barking laugh that had him pulling you closer, gripping at your waist, “What is it?”

“Is sex off the table now that you’re not trying to repay me or-?”

He rolled his eyes, leaning in so his lips barely touched yours as he spoke. “I’m sure we can figure something out.”

[blu-archer]

Sharing is Caring?

Just some more AU sickness because why not?

snz based

Sickie: Tae - mild Jimin

Caretaker: Jimin [kind of?]

m/m [squinting at Yoonmin] and mentions of what I’m poorly portraying as ace. I’ve never tried to write about it before so forgive any misrepresentation please..

anyway...

Apart of this little universe; Flower shop and Bakery au 

This piece mostly felt like me rambling, but it was kind of fun so I’m posting it.. sorry for any errors

-

-

Taehyung sniffled as discretely as possible as he wondered through the isles of the large supermarket, doing his best to avoid people even though he had made sure to grab a face mask before leaving the apartment to avoid spreading his germs. Technically they could be considered Jimin’s germs… but he wasn’t one to blame his platonic soulmate.

After all, they lived together. This outcome was inevitable.

 So he hovered awkwardly through the store trying to move as quickly as possible by grabbing immediate necessities rather than the usual browsing of the shelves. And after the desperate sneezes that had surprised him by the canned foods and had kicked his headache into 5th gear, he wanted nothing more than to already be at home and back in bed.  

The photographer paused a bit away from the freezer holding the ready-made meals – something that had become a must-have for the pair if they wanted to survive living together – waiting for the few people there to finish before he made his own snatch. He blinked lazily at the rows of boxes that he could just barely make out. He would have to grab a few, they hadn’t done ‘grocery’ shopping for the month and it had come back to bite them. The few supplies he’d gotten days before had dwindled to nothing in a blink of an eye. He’d woken up that morning looking for food so he could take his next dose of medication and had been met with a small portion of days old take out from the noodle place down the street and what was left of the soup Jimin’s boss had dropped off for him after he’d called in sick.

And Tae was getting really tired of soup, despite only being on his second day of feeling like warm death.

So he had taken the courageous, probably mildly stupid, step to go shopping. They needed more tissues anyway, and he didn’t really know anyone in the area that well yet despite having moved a few months ago so it’s not like he could make a plea for help.

Jimin had been thoroughly knocked out in his bed with a mound of extra blankets that hadn’t moved from their place since Yoongi had put them there after bringing the smaller man home from work the day before. So Taehyung had just scribbled a brief note and pinned it onto his door so that Jimin would know where he was if the slim chance of the elder waking up did actually happen.

A gap formed as a couple broke away from the freezer and Tae swiftly slipped in front of it, muffling a cough into his arm before he made a move to slide open the glass top. Taehyung was jolted from his actions as something – a body, definitely a small body – crashed into his legs, immediately reaching out with one hand to steady the child that wobbled upon impact even though his own balance wavered drastically. Thank god for fast reflexes, if he hadn’t dropped his basket and rested his hand on the freezer then he probably would’ve fallen straight on his ass. That would have been almost as embarrassing as the canned food isle incident just minutes before. This day just wasn’t getting better.

He had just barely looked down at the small boy who had almost caused his next disaster when his foggy attention was dragged away to the next rapidly approaching figure.

 “Sehjoon!” An exasperated voice snapped before the small boy was pulled from Tae’s weak grasp. “I’m so sorry, he’s wild. Did he-“The man’s eye widened a bit and then he smiled, losing some of the tension in his body. “Its Taehyung, right? Jimin’s new roommate?”

 Tae blinked, nodding slowly although he couldn’t really be considered ‘new’ since a few months had already passed, and it wasn’t the first time that he’d shared a space with Jimin. The man looked familiar, and he clearly knew who he was, which meant he was probably one of Jimin’s friends from work. Taehyung tried not to feel too bad about not remembering whose name went with which face, he was often busy with his own work when Jimin would tell him about what happened during his working hours, so he couldn’t be expected to remember too many details. It was a similar situation when he tried to explain to Jimin the different editing terms while trying to perfect whatever photos he had done. He couldn’t count the numbers of times he’d just watched his best friends eyes glaze over with some familiar vague nodding.

 “I’m Hoseok, we met a while back when you first moved here.”

The man seemed to ooze happiness as he picked the boy up to rest him on his hip. Taehyung shuffled on his feet. He was a little unsure of what to say next. Usually he didn’t struggle with making conversation, but his head felt like it was filled with cotton, he couldn’t be faulted for this flaw of character right now.

 “Sorry,” Hoseok chuckled, rubbing at his neck with his free hand. “Jimin speaks about you all the time and even Jungkook and Jin mention you every once it in a while, it kind of feels like I know you.”

 “Uh…oh. Yeah. Jimin speaks about you a lot too.” Tae replied, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. His voice coming out deeper and with the beginnings of the congestion he’d hoped wouldn’t come so soon in the day. He cleared his throat in hopes that it would help. “The florist, right? With Yoongi?”

 It clearly didn’t help.

Hoseok’s smile faltered, turning more sympathetic. As if he had quickly pieced the obvious together.

 “Yeah, that’s me.” He shifted the boy on his hip when small hands grappled to be let down. Hoseok dropped his smile for a moment to give a stern look of disapproval that seemed to work like a spell over the boy as he went silent and placid in the mans hold. “I’m sorry about Sehjoon here. My sister asked me to look after him for the day and I think she both underestimates my babysitting capabilities and overestimates her sons behaviour. I was actually sent out of work for a bit because Yoongi needed a break from this level of chaos… Hey, he didn’t hurt you or anything right?”

 “Oh, no. No.” Tae gave a croaky laugh that irritated his throat. It already felt rough from the amount of coughing he’d done during the night and it appeared that he was nowhere close to being done with that. Turning away, he coughed deeply into his arm, twisting away despite wearing a mask, and winced at the spark of pain that had shot into him. God, he was so over this cold. “Sorry. He barrelled into me, but he would probably be at more risk of hurting himself than me. Has a hard head though. Definitely able to knock some people out with that.”

 That brought a bubble of sudden laughter from the other man that left Tae slightly bemused and yet, it was an odd feeling watching Hoseok laugh. A warmth of sorts spread over Taehyung when the man tossed his head back and seemed to glow as his shoulders shook. It was more contagious than Jimin’s illness and Taehyung couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the man as he began to tease his nephew shamelessly about being a new weapon of destruction. The boy simply whined and curled his head into Hoseok’s neck, apparently not seeing the same humour as his uncle.

  “I should get him a leash to be honest.” Hoseok joked, but Tae had a feeling the glint in the mans eyes meant he was deeply considering it.

 Taehyung didn’t really know how to reply so he just nodded slowly and turned his attention back to the freezer, recollecting his basket before just grabbing a few different meals at random and tossing them in with the juice and tissues he’d already gotten. Whatever it was he and Jimin would eat it whether they liked it or not. He had been out longer than he wanted to be by now and he wasn’t wasting more time on things that they probably wouldn’t taste much of anyway considering how this cold was progressing.

 “Not much of a cook?”

 Tae glanced to Hoseok who seemed to be shifting his weight as he looked towards the meals casually.

Sniffing lightly, Taehyung tried to suppress the desire to rub at his nose through the mask. He shrugged, his hand moving up to brush some hair from his eyes. “Never really learned. Jimin can’t either, but this is better than living off of take out.”

 “I can see Jin rolling in his figurative grave.” Hoseok chuckled. “If you want I can mention to Jungkook how I ran into you,  despite you clearly not feeling well. I can guarantee that you and Jimin will get visited by Yoongi and Jin with at least a months-worth of premade meals to be frozen because they heard from Jungkook that you were both malnourished and possibly dying.”

 He blushed at the call out on being sick, but to be fair, he hadn’t thought he’d run into anyone that would actually talk to him or that this store would be so busy during work hours. He also didn’t doubt Jungkook’s ability to exaggerate, Jimin had told him about some previous examples that had at the time probably caused Jin a lot of stress. It mostly seemed innocent but very few could look into Jungkook’s eyes and not believe everything he tells them. Tae had only just started speaking to him more and he already knew that.

“Please don’t. I can’t even bear to look at soup after these past few days and I have a feeling that would be a strong contender of what one would give a sick person.” Against his original will, he rubbed a finger to his nose as it twitched with an itchy irritation. “I need to get home actually; we had no food left so I should try to get back before Jimin wakes up. And I am about ready to sleep for the next week.”

 “Oh wow. So you really are in need of pre-made meals filled with some love and care.” Hoseok’s voice dipped into one similar to how he had teased his nephew. “Well, I won’t keep you then. You should get home and rest, but if you want to take me up on sending the s.o.s. message for food delivery, Jimin has my number.”

 Taehyung thanked the elder man shakily, and even managed to get a small wave bye from the boy, barely having time to hear the small apology for bumping into him before he abruptly turned away and buried his face into his elbow.

 H’EESH..hH’HEGXSHhh..

 There was a startled ‘oh’ and then deep chuckles. Taehyung winced as he gave a liquid sniff with a low groan, feeling even more congested than before.

 “ ‘cuse ‘be.”

 “Bless you,” Hoseok laughed with a hand instinctively holding his nephew closer. He dipped his head in a small bow. “Sorry, it’s not funny. That sounded awful, but I got a fright and now I feel dumb for jumping.”

 If he had blushed before, then this was him setting himself alight. That had never happened before, he’d never scared someone with his sneeze. Jimin was never going to let him live that down.

 “I’ll leave you be now,” the man grinned. “Go home and get some rest. But when you feel better we should hang out some time. Jimin speaks about you all the time and I just think it would be great to see more of you… like with everyone. Welcome you to the city properly.”

 “I…yeah. Okay.” Taehyung brushed his hands through his hair and took a starting step back, trying to hold back any more sniffling. “I’ll see you around then.”

 “Feel better soon, Taehyung, and get home safely.”

 ******************* 

HEESHHU..H’HIESHH…snfff.. … Heh..h..hhh..HHeGXTCHh…hnnxgGTSCHew!... nghHEHHSHH!!!

 Taehyung panted out hot hitchy breaths as the tissue box was set in front of him as an offering. He laid a hand on the box to take it, his other hand hovered desperately over his face as he geared up for the next sneeze. His teary eyes had barely blinked open before they were forced shut once more, his throat and head pulsed with each sneeze that ripped out of him.

 “Ble-e’hh-hh-ss yo-uishhhiew.. H’ingxtshh… hih’itishhew!”

 Taehyung grabbed a few tissues and let Jimin keep the box as the elder coughed and crumpled into the seat beside him, before following Tae’s example of blowing his nose tiredly.  

 After shopping, Taehyung had managed a slow drive back to the apartment with multiple stops to tear open one of the tissue boxes he’d bought. It hadn’t helped much, and he had felt progressively worse as the minutes ticked by until he’d made it into the house, where he had promptly collapsed onto the couch with his tissues – only having to get up again to dump the food he’d bought in the fridge and freezer before sluggishly dragging himself to the couch once more..

When he’d been coaxed awake by Jimin gently shaking his shoulder, he had been met with a dim early afternoon sun and a plate a steamy food that had definitely been nuked in the microwave for longer than necessary. And from there they hadn’t really moved much, other than Jimin having forced some medicine into them and making tea before joining Tae on the couch.

There was some drama playing softly on their tv, but neither of them really had the energy to focus on it properly and Tae could barely hear the dialogue anyway once the congestion in his sinuses began to interfere with his ears. Jimin had dragged in a blanket from his room and draped it over both of them as Tae added to the pile of used tissues that had begun to form on the floor in front of them. Nothing seemed to stop the constant tickle that plagued him, nor his noses inability to do what he wanted. Tae was considering just stuffing his nose with tissues at this point. Since the trip to the supermarket his nose had turned into a mess that was seemingly draining the life out of him. Jimin had assured him that despite what he thought, it would get better, but he was sure that his friend was just trying to be his usual hopeful self. Always ready to reassure and look out for him.

At least they were suffering together. That was an upside. Jimin claimed to be feeling a lot better than the day before and it seemed to be mostly true, he was definitely being more active than Tae wanted to be. Although that could also have just a factor of the smaller man sleeping like the dead for almost 20 hours and Taehyung thinking it was wise to leave the apartment earlier. He was just deeply glad that he wasn’t alone again.

 Tae hated being alone. Even when he was well, he’d tried living by himself before and it had eaten at him mentally. It’s a big reason why he had convinced Jimin to find a new apartment that they could share when he switched towns, instead of just finding a cheap single flat somewhere. Thankfully his Soulmate had been searching for something already, so he didn’t feel like too much of an inconvenience. Jimin had always teased him relentlessly for needing people but never wanting relationships, always just content with a friend to cuddle up to or hang out with. Yet watching Jimin and others grow into bonds and commitments always made him doubt. Jimin meant well with his chirps and edgy teasing, but it always made Taehyung worry about his future.

What would he do when Jimin finally moved on in life? It’s not like anyone would want to invest in a person that would never give themselves entirely to a partner... He would never fall into the trap of letting someone take what he didn’t want to give again, yet that was all everyone seemed to want from him. … Maybe he’d start up a cuddle site, or a hug program, he’ll think of a way to get the skin ship he needed without being a bother or a hazard to himself.

 “You’re thinking too loud again…” Jimin whined hoarsely and sunk into Tae’s side, rubbing his cheek into the other shoulder as he curled into him. “Your brainwaves are hurting mine.”

 “You’d need a brain to have brainwaves, you’ll be fine.” Tae mumbled as he ran a tissue under his nose with a sniff and yelped out a weary laugh when Jimin pinched at his ribs.  

 “Asshole.” The elder snipped, but the smile in his voice was evident.

  It took no prompt for Jimin to snuggle even deeper into Taehyung’s embrace, relishing in the warmth despite the dampness that had begun to seep through Tae’s shirt. It would probably be wise for them both to get in the shower – at the very least to rinse off their sweat and germs – but they were far too comfortable to move. Tae felt as if his body had become moulded into the seat and the heat that was created between himself, Jimin and their blanket; paired with the medication he’d taken, only made him dozier. Even as his mind raced through various what-ifs of the future, his eyes gradually drifted shut up before jerking open with any sound or movement. Soft hands brushed soothingly up his side, edging him closer to sleep with low humming, and just as his eyes closed again there was a sharp knock at the door that caused both of them to groan.

 “If we ignore it, they might think we’re not here.” Jimin whispered.

 Ah…H’ERSHH! ..

 “Never-“

 HE’ETCHSHH!!

 “… Never mind. Thank you Taetae.”

.

.

“Sorry..”

Another softer, more hesitant knock sounded through the apartment as Jimin pushed himself to his feet and handed control of the tissue box to Tae solemnly. He accepted it more desperately than he would have liked, but Jimin wasn’t going to judge him considering he’d been in the same situation just the day before.

 With a reluctant sigh, Jimin tried not to shiver against the loss of heat. “I’ll go see who it is then.”

  The photographer pushed himself up to sit cross legged instead off slouched down in the seat while Jimin left the room, so he could blow his nose as productively as he possible. Although his nose ached after so much blowing and he had immediately tumbled into a bout of coughing that had left him gasping and spitting into a tissue with a grimace, so he couldn’t really call it all that productive when it ultimately made him feel worse. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with a yawn before considering just going to sleep anyway. From the front door he could vaguely make out Jimin’s voice – deeper and scratchier than usual – as he spoke with familiarity.

 Hopefully it wasn’t their neighbour. She had been hounding them about tidying up their balcony that, quite frankly, wasn’t that bad. Sure, it had way too many dead and dying plants and the chair out there had definitely seen better days, but if she didn’t like seeing it, she didn’t have to go out of her way to look. It wasn’t like they shared it.  

He leaned his head back to rest on the back of the couch and shut his eyes once more, trying to force himself to sink into sleep, yet it was now low grumbling and airy giggles kept him from rest. Irritated, he shifted so that he lay curled up on his side, tossing his heavy limbs around until he’d managed to get the soft, fluffy blanket over his body completely and tucked under his chin. Now if Jimin could get back so that he could at least have someone to cling onto, then he’d be ecstatic.

 Muffled coughing grew closer until Taehyung heard Jimin call out to him just loud enough to not disturb his penetrating, consistent headache.

 “Look,” Jimin practically collapsed on top of the photographer holding a small bouquet. He slid off quickly when the force of the landing set off Taehyung’s own thicker and hoarser coughs. “Sorry but look what Yoongi brought.”

 Ah… so there was a definite hold on the ‘cuddle’ part planned in their day. Once he didn’t think his throat was going to rip to pieces, Taehyung blinked heavily at the various bright flowers that had probably been put together with more thought and precision than he could possibly imagine in that moment. Clearly Yoongi had decided to call in a delivery, he wasn’t really surprised. Jimin’s eyes shone as if he truly hadn’t expected the florist to stop by, and Taehyung didn’t think the elder really cared what he thought about it, he had merely fallen into an instinctive habit. Although, Tae would have preferred not to be assaulted with things that would possibly trigger his sinuses.

He scrunched his nose and pushed away the hand that held the glorified weapons. There were quiet steps and a gentle murmur from behind them that he would have brushed off as him hearing things, if only Jimin didn’t glance up with such a warm, wide smile.

“Beau’iful Chim.” Tae sniffed and rolled so that the blankets rolled higher to hide his face.

 His cheeks were heated and Jimin turned his smile to him knowingly – albeit apologetic for letting Yoongi inside when Tae clearly just wanted Soulmate time. Jimin pressed a quick kiss to the small visible section of Tae’s damp forehead before getting to his feet with a stifled cough.

 “I’ll put these in water... You really didn’t have to come and check on me, you know.” Jimin said softly as he walked towards their kitchen. “Probably safer to just call.”

 “I’m not scared of getting sick, Jimin.” A low voice that could only be Yoongi, reassured as he followed the other. – So more than a delivery then.-  “I just wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday. Hobi said he ran into Taehyung earlier… Although from the looks of things he should have probably stayed home, poor guy sounds worse than you did – than you do.”    

 Jimin hummed, and Taehyung shifted to cover his head entirely beneath the blanket, trying not to listen to the couples conversation. Maybe he should just move somewhere else and let them have some space without having to hide in the kitchen. Of course Yoongi would have to accept the fact that he was entering an area of disease, but he seemed more than willing considering he was already in their home.

Tae gave a sigh and then a deep sniffle. He plucked a fresh tissue to wipe at the tender skin under his nose. It took a moment to work up the energy but eventually he was able to twist so that he practically rolled off of the couch. His knees and hand connecting a lot harder than he’d predicted to the floor, while trying to keep the blanket as steady as possible on his hunched frame. With sluggish motions, he tried to sweep most of the used tissues up with his hands and dumped them into the wastepaper bin kicked under the table, then after achingly persistent hitch started up that had left him feeling frustrated at the lack of relief – he considered the area clean enough before standing unsteadily. Making sure the blanket was wrapped tightly over his shoulders, he grabbed the tissue box to take with him – Jimin could find something else, he felt he needed them more. Then he had almost tripped on the way to his room and had muttered half-hearted curses at the blanket for betraying him and getting caught up in his steps, until finally he was able to collapse onto his bed.

Sure it was cold and probably smelt of sweat but it was at least more comfortable than where he had been lying and it had pillows that he could hug in replacement of Jimin. He buried his face into his arm almost immediately, sneezing harshly twice before he was able to bring a tissue to his nose and smother three more, breaking off into an exhausted, thick cough that left him feeling miserable and wanting nothing more to recollect the bottle of medicine he’d taken earlier and take the rest of it.

God, he really was so over this stupid cold.

[futurewriter2000]

Heartless - pt. 16

A/N: Whoever was the anon that told me to do a Mulciber x reader from this- I hate you and love you at the same time. Goddamn! God-fucking dammit I love myself some evil characters. Also, no gif for this because I don’t have time because I have to get to work in like 20 minutes and I’m still in my bath robe. Hope you like it babes and mwa <3

XX

‘ You walked into the classroom, empty as it was, so was your head. You hadn’t studied for this exam- was it Charms?

“The test will begin now.” you heard Professor Slughorn say as he waved his wand and the exam papers flew open to the first page.

Your eyes had gotten more confused. This wasn’t Charms, nor Potions... was this math? You looked up at the professor with your heart racing fastly, then your anxiety leading into frustration. You looked down for a pencil and you had not pencil, nor quill, no any other pen.

“Are you joking?” you heard someone laugh from a seat behind you.

You turned around with a panic, thought the paper exam disappeared in front of you and so did the professor. The classroom was empty, your soul started to become more soothing.

There; at the desk behind you sat a boy with his eyes, green as the colour could be, he kept chuckling, tilting his head back and running his hands through his dense curly hair until they rested behind his head. His smile was wide, his teeth perfectly straight and the corners of his mouth had perfect lines with dimples far in the middle of his cheeks.

“Mulciber?”

“You’re dreaming Hogwarts? And professor Slughorn?” he continued to laugh, putting his feet on the top of the desk.

And it was as if the tension you felt from your dreams, the control that you were not able to grasp before, was now in your hands and your hands were on the wheel. You could move your hands and you could stand up as if you were in the real world.

“You’re a Legilimen- and the dreamer one and you cannot control your dreams?” he kept looking at you and with your eyes solely focus on him, the background of your dreams changed back to the same place when he first visited.

“I’m starting my training soon.”

“Soon?” he scoffed. “Soon as in when school starts and then probably in the mid-October when that piss off Mad Eye Moody decides to actually mentor you?”

“He’s a great Auror.”

“He’s a drunk!” Mulciber started to get frustrated. “And would only waste your potential. You know what he would do to you?” he started to take steps towards you. “He would restrict you of all the things you could do with your gift and your gift- the gift we both share. It has no limits.” he was now close to you, whispering with greed and desire.

“You’re talking about black magic.”

“I’m talking about magic, darling.” he stepped away, jumping on the rocks that seemed to appear only in a second. “There is no good magic, bad magic. There is just magic and there are only bad wizards and good wizards.” he turned around on the last stone and kept looking at you with his eyes blazing into your soul. He jumped off, changing his whole energy into this playful, yellow aura that you could feel so lightly.

“And what do you propose?”

“You know exactly what I propose?” he walked to the edge of the cliff, looking as the sun started to set. “I know you’re considering it, so let’s speed this up-”

He was suddenly in front of you- in a flash. “I don’t want-”

“Yes, you do.” he was growling at you with eyes that screamed danger. “I’ve taken a notice in you, (Y/n) Potter since the moment you stepped onto that train- even before. “ he started. “With your pig tails that you took off the moment you got on the train, I knew you and me are meant to be connected.”

“Connected?” you laughed.

“Haven’t your mother told you about your ancestors, (y/n)?” he asked and your smile immediately faded. “Haven’t you ever wondered where you got this gift from? From who?” he continued to pull your curiousity, word after word. “You think you’re the first of the family? Why your mother acts so tense?”

“You’re-”

“I’m not lying. You know I can’t lie in dreams- and not with you since we’re connected.”

“We are not connected.”

“We are. The moment you let me into your head and the moment I let you into mine, you and me made a soul contract, darling. This isn’t the 3D world, love. This is much more greater than that. This is 5D. This is more than magic, more than anybody else could think. This are unlimited minds, thoughs, emotions, intensity, secrets to life, secrets to magic, secrets of people-”

“And you’re using it for evil.”

“I’m using it for my own personal gain. You would too.”

“I would never.”

“Yes, you would.”

“You don’t-”

“Let me finish.” he pressed his hand on top of your mouth gently, his other hand on your hip and squeezing you tenderly as his body pressed against yours. He was looking down on you with eyes, filled with lust and desire. The would wander on you for only a moment before he would speak in his voice low, almost like a hungry wolf talking down its prey. “The train ride was hopeful. I knew you’d be in Slytherin but you never were. You were a hat-stall. Two long minutes of indecisiveness and I was tensed because I needed you to be in Slytherin but you asked the Hat to put you in Gryffindor because of your brother-”

“I-” you tried to speak, your eyes furrowing angrily.

“Shhh.” he hushed you down, leaning forward until his lips were pressing onto his own palm as if they wanted to kiss you into silence. “I’m talking, remember?” he said with dominance. “But I knew you were a Slytherin. I saw how you managed to do everything by yourself. To pull yourself from the depth- I could have felt you dying inside for a year, filling yourself with pills-” your eyes widened and for a moment you looked away. “And I wanted to reach out to you so desperately because how you felt, I felt. It wasn’t easy but my father wouldn’t let me. He said it’s a test for you- a test you passed. You pulled yourself out by yourself, you took your own pain and turned it into something good- something great. Oh, I knew you and me will become the unstoppable pair just like our ancestors.” he smiled. “But that’s for another day.” he winked and pushed himself away from you, turning you his back.

“You-” you started to talk but felt like you couldn’t breathe. “You knew about-”

“Of course, I knew. I felt you. Your year was my year. Year of torture.” he seethed through his teeth. “I wanted to murder you, you know? You put me in such misery back then.”

“Then why didn’t you? You could have done me a favour.”

“Because I’d screw up my life if I ended yours.” he let out a laugh. “Seeing you in the hall- Merlin, you were so pathethic and sad. It almost made me cry.”

You felt something bubble inside of your stomach, a ball forming in your throat as tears wanted to push themselves from their eyes but you only swallowed thickly and felt the anger bubble.

“Seeing you trying to emotionally fulfil yourself with torturing others, bullying them because you weren’t pleased with yourself, beating Sirius because he rebelled towards his family and you couldn’t, made me almost cry too.” you snapped at him and his eyes widened. There was pure surprise on his face but it started to resemble much more like pride.

“And then came the passion.” he continued to smile, walking down to you. “When I saw you standing up to your brother and his friends, when I saw you hate them as much as I hated them, oh I knew you and me were about to have so much fun in the futrue and I have been patient so the day you reached out to me was the day that I had been waiting on.”

“Reached out to you?”

“The day at the woods. I read the book, you were in the bed- who do you think created that scene in your head. Who do you think pulled you out, dummy? You think I wanted the Dark Lord to take you away from me like that. No, I had to scare you away from him. I had to tip off that piss off twat to come and rescue you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Merlin, (y/n)? Are you really that daft?” he continued to laugh. “Or just naive? Or just ignorant? Me and you are connected. When you were dying on the ground, your soul reached out to me- because of our ancestors- because we are the reicarnation-”

“You’re talking crazy.”

“Am I?” he opened his arms. “You and me were meant to be- when we’re together, we’re stronger but first-” he started to walk towards you. “-first you need to learn what I had learn and the best was to do that is with my help.”

And he was right. Despite how much you did not want it to be him, you wanted this for yourself. You wanted to see where this gift or curse or whatever it was, lead you to. You wanted to unlock every single potential in your body and he knew so much. He knew so much more and he had told you everything in just these short period of time meanwhile your own mother was holding back your family secret. You had always been the odd one out and you could never figure out why but now since you had found out that one of your ancestors were just like you- you trusted him more. You wanted him to be the one to teach you because he was the only one who did not lie to you and you were just so sick of people lying to you, constantly to your face. It was tiring and you wanted this. You had the need for this and it may have sounded heartless but you didn’t care about your family at the moment. All you cared about was you and your comfort and your future.

“Meet me at the bar down the Muggles street tonight.” he was close to you because he already knew the answer to his proposal. “I want to see you in person.” he touched your cheek with his soft hand, looking at you with eyes so caring. “Wear something... edgy.” he winked, starting to back away as you just wanted to reach out for his warm hand. ‘

The moment you blinked was the moment you woke up in the dark room. You sat up and looked around- letting something catch your eye at the window. You walked to it and found a ripped piece of parchment on the shelf.

“Don’t drink your coffee this morning, darling.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, seeing as the letters had burnt out and changed it shape. “Don’t you trust me?” it said on it and you rolled your eyes, laughing.

“Said the scorpion to the the frog.” you told yourself.

“And then they both drowned.” said the parchment. “We’re in this together, darls. Keep that in mind.” and the parchement burnt itself, poofing into dust and resolving into thin air.

[roselen-mylady]

In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part eleven

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occurred she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

"Cap, what do you want me to do with this damn thing?" Clint cried, loud and frantic. Y/n followed close behind, covering him using the various weapons the suit came equipped with and some of her own additions. 

"Get those stones as far away as possible!" Steve demanded. Y/n's helmet retracted as she turned, sharing a look with Clint and wondering what the best strategy on getting out of there was. 

But before either of them could suggest a means of escape, Bruce's voice came over the comms. "No! We need to get them back where they came from." He argued. Clint's gaze moved to behind Y/n and he swiftly shifted his hold on the gauntlet, firing one of his arrows at a creature behind her. 

"No way to get them back. Thanos destroyed the quantum tunnel." Tony's voice cut in. The desolate space where the compound once stood was proof of that. 

"Whatever we decide to do, we need to do it fast! We're sitting ducks out here!" Y/n called turning to take out another alien that had been drawn over to them like a beacon by the stones. 

"Hold on!" Scott's voice rang out. "That wasn't our only time machine." Y/n groaned knowing where he was going with it as she narrowly avoided one of the incoming soldiers that appeared to be on their side. 

"Scott, I swear if you mean that smelly ass van-" Y/n's swear was cut short by the out of place 'La Cucaracha' tune that echoed out over the battlefield. Clint merely chuckled beside her, doing his best to keep the stones out of the hands of the surrounding aliens. 

"Anyone see an ugly, brown van out there?" Steve questioned. Y/n sent Clint an exasperated look to which he grinned at, his smile only growing as she glared at him. 

"Yes! But you're not gonna like where it's parked!" A woman's voice answered.

"Scott, how long do you need to get that thing working?" Tony questioned. Y/n decided she'd have more of an advantage clearing Clint's path from the air and she hovered ahead of him, taking out as many of the strange creatures as she could. 

"Maybe ten minutes." Scott replied. 

"Get it started. We'll get the stones to you." Steve instructed. Clint motioned for Y/n to fire at one of his arrows and she nodded, directing the repulsor at the arrow he shot into a group of them. 

"We're on it, Cap." A second woman's voice said.  

"Y/n, get down here." Tony called suddenly. She was about to reply when one of the creatures jumped up grabbing her foot and dragging her to the ground. It pinned her down, it's hot breath seeming to waft through her helmet causing her to recoil in disgust. 

"Uh, yeah. Give me a minute!" Y/n cried, grunting as she fought back, trying quickly to calculate how best to escape. Whipping around at the sound of her distress, Clint shot an arrow through its head making it fall limp upon her. 

"Thanks." She said through gritted teeth as she forced the creature off. "Gross." 

•••

Eventually Y/n managed to find Tony through the chaos of battle and landed down in front of him, letting her eyes drift to the man behind him. He wore a red cape and Y/n was about to question who the man was but stopped mid sentence as he pointed at her. 

"You're here." He spoke as if recognizing her. Not only did he seem to know her, he appeared utterly defeated by her presence, even solemn. Yet before she could question his off-putting reaction, Tony grabbed her forearm, pulling her away. Her eyebrows furrowed and she retracted her helmet looking at him confused. 

"Tony, are you okay?" She asked, concern etched into her features. Tony's expression was distraught as he looked around in a daze at the fight that raged on around them. 

"The kid I told you about. The spider boy." Tony questioned though it sounded more like he was demanding something. She nodded, holding onto his upper arms as he grasped her forearms tightly.  

"Yeah, what about him?" She asked, studying his darting eyes. She couldn't shake the feeling that he knew something she didn't and a knot started to form in her stomach as he struggled to piece together a sentence. 

"He's-he's a lot like you. And after this he's going to need help, okay? From someone a lot like him, do you understand?" He told her urgently, his gaze drilling into her. His words rattled her and her eyes widened, unsettled.

"Tony, what are you talking about?" She pleaded, the knot in her stomach twisting tighter with each painful second that passed. 

"Just take care of him, alright? If something happens…" His request trailed off. Y/n slipped out of his grasp, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

"Nothing will happen, you'll be able to help him yourself." She promised. He didn't seem to take her word for it but nodded anyway for her sake. 

"You're right...just-just promise me." Y/n could tell he was scared. He was terrified and all she could think to do was give him what he wanted. Reassurance. 

"I promise." She swore to him, his eyes becoming more clear and focused as Y/n held onto his shoulders. 

Her words seemed to calm him enough and Y/n offered a timid smile, unsure whether now was the time to give him a proper response like she would've if they hadn't been in the middle of a fight. But before she could even think about it further he turned, flying off to continue the battle. 

Y/n watched him go, her heart contracting as his words echoed in her head. He wouldn't have placed the responsibility of his kid onto her shoulders if he didn't mean it and she felt sick to her stomach. 

Please not again. 

•••

"Y/n, where are you?" Clint called over the comms, his voice winded and heavy. Steve saw that he had managed to pass the gauntlet to T'Challa just in time for them to narrowly avoid Thanos' forces that were closing in on the stones. 

He had been doing his best to keep the stones in sight but once hearing Clint, Steve's eyes also began to search for his friend wherever she may have been.  

"I don't know. Where are you?" She replied after a few seconds of silence. 

"Doesn't matter. I gave the stones to the cat guy, you gotta watch them!" Clint instructed. 

Finally Steve had managed to find Y/n in his peripheral and he relaxed slightly watching as she began to lower herself to the ground. Yet before he could be put at ease, another being entered his vision, dangerously close to Y/n. 

"Cat guy?" 

"Y/n, watch out!" Steve suddenly cried in her comms. She whipped around too late to retract her foot in time. The large being had reached up, grabbing hold of her foot and dragging her down. 

Y/n tried to release herself, firing her repulsors at the large creature but it did nothing as he tightened his grip on her boot and threw her into a mound of debris, obscuring her from Steve's sight. 

"Y/n!" Steve yelled, beginning to run in her direction. Bucky noticed his friend's sudden panic and began running as well. Covering for his friend as he ran left Bucky behind, allowing Steve to reach Y/n first. 

All at once, a series of blasts made Steve skid to a stop on the wreckage-covered ground. A forceful scream sounded from where Y/n was thrown and seconds later the being fell, multiple holes burned into its chest. 

When Steve finally stepped around to see Y/n, the missile launcher on her shoulder was slowly powering down and folding back into her suit. "Y/n." Steve breathed watching with a concerned gaze as her suit shook slightly, mimicking her own trembling body. 

Once her eyes landed on him, her helmet retracted exposing her terrified expression. Without another word, she shot up and threw her arms around his neck as she held onto him for dear life. 

He held her back, sending Bucky a glance as she buried her face into his shoulder, rattled cries muffled by the material of his suit. Bucky froze reading Steve's wary gaze. Y/n had just opened up to him about her attack. It was too soon to throw Bucky right in front of her. It wasn't fair, he thought. 

So Steve made him wait. 

Again. 

"Hey, hey it's alright." 

"No. It's not alright. What am I doing here, Steve? I can't do this. Every time I think I can, I'm proven wrong! It's not me!" She broke down in his arms. Her entire life had turned upside down in a mere couple of days and as much as she wanted to walk it off like everyone else did, she couldn't. She wasn't built for it despite what the others thought. She wasn't a hero. 

Tony believed she was and so had Steve. Even she had believed it all those years ago. But she was wrong and lost everything for it. And it only made her more angry at herself. 

If the younger her had been put out there, she would've been eager to fight but now she couldn't. Maybe it was anxiety or even PTSD but either way it didn't matter. She wanted to believe she had another purpose other than to fight. And maybe she did. She'd helped people for years before ever getting a suit. 

"It is you, Y/n. You have it in you to be a hero, you just need to accept it. I know it's scary but this fight-" Steve began with another speech but Y/n wasn't having it. She was tired of it. Tired of the wars and destruction. The world fought long before the Avengers were around and Y/n knew stopping it forever was impossible but she still wished it would. Was peace really that unreachable? 

"Enough! Why does everything have to end in a fight? Why do people have to give up everything for a better world only to fail in the end?" She yelled, all her frustration and fear tumbling out of her mouth without restraint. 

She hated herself for not being as strong willed but something deep down told her that this war wouldn't end well. She knew fighting Thanos was important and she was willing but at what cost? She'd lost her parents and mentor for nothing more than joining S.H.I.E.L.D and it terrified her to think what would be lost in order to restore the world. 

How many more lives would be lost and could she handle it? 

Steve watched her eyes fill with panicked and frustrated tears, unable to do anything to soothe her. He'd seen his friends break before and he was sure this wouldn't be the last time but something was different this time. Like Wanda had been at the beginning, Y/n was scared to accept her role in this battle. She was strong and smart, Steve knew that but Y/n was still scared and angry. She was still human. 

Y/n struggled to reach that point where one accepts that they're a part of something bigger. It was something he had forced others to do and the guilt still ate at him inside but it was necessary. 

It helped them grow.

"Because the most important things are worth fighting for. No matter how many times you have to do it." Steve replied finally, silencing the war in her head. He wanted so badly to take her out of it. He'd brought her back into this life after all, he owed her. But he couldn't. She was a part of this now and as much as she doubted herself, she was just like them. She had limits but she was powerful. He just needed to remind her. 

"Look at what you did. Look how far you've come." He began, shifting her gently so she could look at the being now motionless on the ground where it'd fallen. She spared it a fleeting glance, focusing her stare back on Steve as she tried to put together what he was trying to say. 

"You get knocked down but you always get back up, okay? You're one of the strongest people I know and even though you're scared it doesn't make you any less capable." His hands moved to her shoulders, gripping them tenderly. "You've been through so much and helped so many people. You're a hero even if you don't believe it. Even if you don't believe that fighting is helping- there's two sides to making the world better and I know you can do both." 

Y/n studied his eyes, finding the familiar sincerity he always wore. So comforting and so safe. She was tired of being something she wasn't but what if all this time she was meant to be here? Meant to fight the fight no one wanted to. Meant to lose it all for a cause greater than herself. 

Meant to be a hero. 

"I need you to fight with me right now. I know you can do this." He pleaded, sending a short look to Bucky. He was yards away, just out of earshot but close enough to insure their protection. Bucky was always fighting the bigger fight and as much as it hurt him, Steve needed Y/n to do the same. "Please." 

Fear still grasped at her heart but she knew she needed to do something. She couldn't run from this like she had so many times before. She had to fight and maybe just maybe if she fought hard enough, she could prevent the catastrophe she knew lingered around the corner. 

"We need a vacation." 

Steve paused, unsure if he'd heard her right. "What?" 

"We need a vacation, after all of this. Somewhere warm and beachy." Y/n explained, a bittersweet smile curving on her lips as she looked up at him. She was still terrified, that much was certain but she was willing to push it aside. Willing to be half the hero Steve was, no matter what cost she feared she'd face. 

Her request was pitiful but certainly one that gave them hope, something to hold onto. "A beach it is." Steve smiled. 

Before he could say another word, Y/n had broken free of his hold, pacing a few feet away from him. A look of determination had taken hold of her features, deciding she needed to act before her nerves overcame her again.  

Offering one more soft smile, her helmet closed, the eye slits lit up with the familiar white glow. Her thrusters engaged and she was in the air once more.  

She caught herself much quicker this time with the added power of her hand thrusters and took off toward where F.R.I.D.A.Y had informed her the stones were. Steve watched a moment longer, hearing Bucky jog up beside him. 

"Who was that?" He asked, watching the woman fly off into the war that was unfolding. Steve's smile still lingered though he was worried. 

"Someone special." Steve replied. Bucky turned to him with a thoughtful gaze, unable to take his eyes off Steve's tender expression. 

•••

Dodging the open fire upon the surface from Thanos' ship was difficult but keeping track of the stones all the while was nearly impossible. Yet Y/n was able to manage finding the stones in the hands of the very boy she'd swore to protect.

"Help! Somebody help!" He cried, his pleas echoing through her comms. Her headset quickly homed in on the source, making her alter her trajectory in his direction. 

"Thruster power is critically low." F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke suddenly, displaying the power level in front of Y/n. Her eyes widened, trying to pay attention to her flight pattern despite the panic rising in her chest. 

"And you wait until now to tell me?!" Y/n shouted. 

"Your usage of the micro-missiles used up a lot of energy. Keep in mind this suit is just a prototype." 

"Hold on, kid!" Y/n called, ignoring F.R.I.D.A.Y and using what was left of her thruster power to launch herself toward the Spiderboy. "F.R.I.D.A.Y is it possible to use the power from my armor?" 

"It is possible but you won't be able to take  multiple hits." The A.I. explained. Y/n chose not to answer, debating her choices. Either transfer power and avoid all hits or possibly survive future attacks with no means of escape or counterattacks. 

The pile of alien soldiers continued to grow in the few seconds it took her to catch up and without a moment to lose she dove in, snatching the boy up in her arms as she allowed her suit to take over. "F.R.I.D.A.Y light 'em up!" She called. The action would definitely burn through what was left of the power but she didn't care.

"Activating 'Firework Protocol'." F.R.I.D.A.Y acknowledged Y/n's new protocol, spanning open the panels in the back of the suit. The advanced micro lasers she'd installed was the only light in the huddle of alien mass around them as the red lasers powered on. 

Y/n's hold on the boy's head tightened and she pulled him close, trying to ensure he wouldn't be another victim of her suit as it fired at the beings atop them. He held the gauntlet desperately, stealing a glance up at her as the aliens began to fall around them. 

"Power level 2% percent." F.R.I.D.A.Y informed. 

"Transfer power from armor now!" Y/n called, shifting her hold on the boy to under his arms. As she'd commanded, F.R.I.D.A.Y put the shield power Y/n had preserved earlier into thrusters. It was a temporary fix but all she could think of. 

"Hold on!" Her shout came hurried and Peter barely had any time to process it before they were in the air, his metallic spider legs flailing frantically. "You alright, kid?!" She called over the rush of air, peering down at him as they shot across the chaos towards Scott's van. 

"Huh? Yeah, yeah I'm okay! I'm Spider-Man! Nice to meet you– OH, MY GOD!" The boy rambled, screeching as they served away from one of the large flying creatures that grew threateningly near. 

However in the attempt to avoid one danger they'd entered another and Y/n's suit was struck but Thanos' ship, causing them to fall back down to the earth. And while she did everything in her power to move the boy to avoid direct impact, his groan still alerted her that he'd taken a rough hit. 

She herself was struggling to recover, her headset glitching as the suit tried to reform after the hit. As F.R.I.D.A.Y had warned, the suit's armor level significantly decreased, alerting her that another hit like that would be fatal. The nanotechnology was strong but her decision to transfer power from her armor was quickly regretted. 

In her daze she felt the boy tug her, pulling her back toward him as he cradled the stones against his chest. The intensity of Thanos' canons rattled the ground and Y/n found herself unable to focus on anything else. Sound was muted and her sense of touch seemed dulled. Maybe it was the aftermath of falling from midair in a metal container. 

How had Tony survived this long? 

Then suddenly it stopped. It all stopped. The strikes upon the battle were instantly directed to another target and much to her body's protest, Y/n sat up looking toward the skies. She could hear her peers struggling to figure out the source of Thanos' fire but it was all blurred. 

"Mild concussion and multiple contusions detected." F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke, making Y/n groan as she looked over at the Spiderboy. 

"Kid, you okay?" She called, making him peek out from his fetal position against the huge rock they'd taken cover behind. His nose was bleeding and his eyes were red but otherwise he seemed alright. 

He nodded, still dazed himself as he eyed her curiously. "Hey, uh, who are you? I mean thank you for saving me but-" He trailed off, his eyes lingering on the suit. Why had she been wearing one of Mr. Stark's suits? 

"I'm Y/n. Or uh- Iron Star." Y/n explained, still reluctant toward the name. "Tony gave me the suit in case things went wrong." She explained, climbing to her feet clumsily as dizziness shook through her body. "Guess they did." 

"I'm Peter by the way. Peter Parker." He introduced, hugging the gauntlet strangely as he watched her regain her footing. 

Y/n smiled softly, putting out her hand for the battered boy. "It's very nice to meet you, Peter." He accepted her hand, climbing to his feet carefully, the gauntlet still tight within his grasp. 

Suddenly their moment was cut short by the sound of a heavy force hitting the ground behind them. Y/n whipped around, unsure whether said force was a threat but much to her surprise, a woman was standing there, a kind smile on her lips. 

"Hi. I'm- Peter Parker. This is Y/n." Peter spoke up, making Y/n glance back at him. Did he always introduce everyone during a fight or was he just in shock? 

"Hey, you two. You got something for me?" The woman asked, slightly entertained by Peter's manner. At this he exchanged a look with Y/n, both sharing a short nod before passing over the stones to the woman. 

"I don't know how you're gonna get it through all that." Peter's voice came tender and weak as he pointed his gaze toward the mess that was Thanos' forces. He was right, it seemed like it would be an impossible feat but if Y/n knew anything, it was that a woman's strength was nothing to be trifled with. 

Especially someone with the same determined eyes Nat had. 

"Don't worry." A woman with long red locks assured him, landing down beside the first woman. 

"She's got help." A second woman added. 

Another suit similar to Y/n's landed beside them, her helmet dissolving to reveal a woman she recognized as Pepper Potts. Soon a variety of different women emerged, standing together without an ounce of fear or intimidation from the force before them. 

Y/n watched amazed as they set forward, a painful ping in her heart as she thought of Nat. Black Widow deserved to be there, fighting among the most powerful women Y/n had ever seen. But Nat had made the greatest sacrifice of all, displaying heroism like no one ever could. And for that Natasha was the strongest. 

As she grabbed Peter once more, she wondered if she could be like that. Could she set aside her fear like so many around her had? Like she had tried so many times before? 

Her friends believed she could. 

With the stones safely transferred, Y/n took off with Peter wanting him as far away from the most intense part of the war as possible. Yet before they could get too far, an overwhelming surge of energy exploded behind them, sending them crashing back down to the ground. 

Peter had fallen somewhere along the way, leaving Y/n alone once more as she tumbled to the dirt, landing a few feet away from the stones. 

Before she could even process what had happened, Tony entered her hazy vision calling out to her frantically. "Get the stones!" He screamed, running past her. Her gaze followed him, her mind not yet understanding his plea. Yet when she caught sight of another being, her mind instantly cleared. It was a being she'd only heard about but one she knew to fear. 

Thanos. 

Y/n scrambled to her feet, grabbing the gauntlet urgently as she began to run, her balance still unsteady. But despite her head start, she'd only gotten a couple of feet before Tony flew past her, spamming into the earth with a groan. 

She didn't dare stop but it didn't matter. A large hand gripped her leg, yanking it harshly from under her. Her body collapsed but her hold of the gauntlet stayed secure as Thanos dragged her toward him. 

"No! Let me go, you freak!" She screamed, firing her repulsors at him but it was no use. He towered above her, his clenched fist inches from her face but before he could strike her, another hand grabbed her pulling her free. 

"Go, Lady Y/n!" Thor spoke, stepping in front of her. She nodded quickly, clutching the gauntlet impossibly tighter as she spirited away.

She could hear the others struggling behind her to keep Thanos at bay and as much as she wanted to help them she knew it was vital that she got away with the stones. Yet try as she might her thrusters wouldn't budge. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, I kinda need my thrusters to work! Now!" She cried, the sound of Thanos' footsteps growing too close for comfort. 

"The suit's power is draining too fast. Using thrusters risks the suit losing all power." 

"Dammit, why'd Tony give me a prototype?!" Y/n cried, retracting her helmet in a pathetic attempt at making running easier. 

Then she did something stupid. Something someone with the IQ of 280 would know better than to do. 

She looked back. 

And the sight she was met with was frightening. 

Tony, Steve and Thor, all of which had tried to stop Thanos, were on the ground along with anyone else who got in-between him and Y/n. Even his own soldiers were being pummeled as he stormed through them, quickly advancing on Y/n. 

Her race away instantly broke out into a terrified dash, running for the lives of everyone including herself. 

But she wasn't fast enough.

His horrible hand wrapped around her once more, this time plucking her up from the ground as he began to pull the gauntlet from her arms. She fought his grip, kicking and squirming like a fish on a hook but when she didn't let go of the gauntlet, Thanos shifted his hold to her throat, squeezing her windpipe. With no other choice she choked a single command. 

"Unibeam."  

"Firing the unibeam will use what is left of your power. You'll be defenseless." F.R.I.D.A.Y objected. Y/n considered the A.I.'s warning. Doing this would leave her vulnerable and possibly even immobile. But she couldn't let him take the stones. 

"Do it!" Y/n rasped. 

Thanos recoiled as Y/n's chest lit up, firing an intense blast straight at him. His moment of weakness allowed her to escape his hold, gasping for the air she'd been denied. The stones had clambered down next to her and she quickly reached out to grab them but before she could, Thanos' foot slammed on her arm making her scream out in pain. 

Agonizing pain shot through her arm but just as quickly as the pressure had been forced on her arm it was removed and Y/n quickly brought her arm back to her chest, rolling onto her back. 

She could make out the woman from before battling Thanos a few feet away but her senses were dulled as numbness flooded her body. She wanted to writhe around the ground but she could hardly feel her arm anymore let alone the rest of her body. 

Was this what it was like being a hero? Being forced to your very limit but knowing you had to get back up? How did one do it? 

Her gaze drifted to those around her. Steve was running toward them, shouting something Y/n could hear. The familiar worry creased his brow and even a bit of rage had taken hold of his features but Y/n could make sense of what infuriated him so, only allowing her gaze to move to Tony. 

He crawled a couple feet away, his eyes elsewhere as she watched him. His expression was that of dismay and sorrow. She wanted to call out to him, to say something that would fix this. But nothing could be said. 

Like Steve had told her, there were two ways to make the world better and right now she needed to fight. 

With a pained grunt she sat up, struggling to climb to her feet with her shattered arm. Tony mimicked her, glancing at her with unreadable eyes. They shared a look, one that expressed their worries but also told each other how grateful they were for each other. 

Then they both launched forward, Y/n's suit moving with greater difficulty now that it was running off of her alone. Tony immediately latched onto the stones trying his best to keep Thanos from snapping his fingers while Y/n dug her hands under the gauntlet, pulling at it desperately. 

It was a weak attack and when Thanos swatted them away, Y/n's heart nearly stopped. 

He was going to do it. He was going to snap the world away and there was nothing they could do. 

"I am– inevitable." Thanos spoke, lifting his hand menacingly as everyone watched in horror. 

When the snap rang out Y/n flinched, closing her eyes as she readied herself for whatever nightmare awaited them. But nothing happened. 

Her eyes peeled open, registering the same confusion she felt on Thanos's face. She almost exhaled, relieved that he didn't have the stones but upon following his stare, she was faced with an equally alarming sight. 

Tony had risen to his knees, his own hand lifted in front of him as he stared down Thanos. The stones slowly crept up his forearm, merging with his suit like they had to the gauntlet. Once each was in place the energy became too much, coursing through him like a deadly poison. 

"And I– am– Iron Man." Tony grunted, bracing himself for the worst. Y/n could barely get out a hysteric shout before he was lining up his fingers for what would be his last action. 

Time seemed to stop and before he could do what she feared he would, Y/n gave a final attempt to stop the tragedy she knew would happen. Without a moment of hesitation she threw out her arm, ignoring the agony from her broken bones as the snap rang out. 

Her fingers had just barely brushed his arm but it was enough to knock her back several feet, smashing her battered body into a large pile of debris. 

Her ears rang and her brain felt like it was rattling inside her skull. Her vision was quickly fading but in what little time she had left before it faded, she was able to make out Steve falling to his knees beside her and tugging her into his arms. 

Then it all went dark. 

Part twelve

Taglist

@cancanmarvel

@jessyballet

@eldahae

@mc225g

@kissesofdeadforme

@wantingtobekorra

@sxphiiwrld

@lunaticbarnes

@indecisivedolly

@saiyanprincesswanie

@lextheflexsthings

@silver-winter-wolf

@whatifwedo

@arguedquill1226

@lunashaw57

@loushkspr

@3aileypage

@mela-noche

[the-black-birb]

Hi!! Your writing is awesome!!! Can I please request Sugawara for #12 on the angst list? Thank youuu!!!!

A/N: Hello love!! This has been floating in my ask box for a while and I’ve been waiting to get to it. Sugawara is a very kind-hearted character and I feel like he doesn’t get into a lot of drama so I knew his angst had to be intense. I hope I did him justice, I’m pretty proud of how this came out.

I listened to sleeping at last’s atlas one album while writing to this and it really made me Feel something, so I highly recommend listening to it while reading :)

Pairing: Sugawara Koushi x Reader

Prompt: “Why do you keep bringing it up?”

Summary: Sugawara has a secret he has been keeping from you.

Genre: Angst 

(also there are mentions of AsaNoya and Suga x Asahi hehe)

To feel yourself falling out of love was quite possibly the greatest pain you had ever endured. The ache in your heart grew larger as you watched him with friends, laughing and smiling. You wondered when the space between you became so large; when an inch became a foot became a mile. Suddenly, there was a chasm of grief between you. As your mourned your silent loss, he continued on, unchanging.

“Babe,” Sugawara smiled at you. “What’s wrong?” he cocked his head to the side. He could read you like a book, always. But his tone never matched yours. Now, when looking at him had tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, his voice remained light and bubbly. A part of you hated the knot forming in your stomach, privy only to you. But still, you let it fester and grow. You let your anger burn under your skin until you were more fire than person.

“Nothing,” you smile back weakly, imagining your breath was not aflame. “Just tired,” you assure him. But the lies keep building up, and your throat feels hoarser every time you speak. Every “never mind” or “doesn’t matter,” every time you allowed him to walk over you is playing behind your eyes. They burn, too, and for a moment you forget that you cannot be hurt anymore than you are. You will not allow it.

Sugawara, although you are certain he can tell you are not okay, ignores it. You wonder if you are allowed to hate him for giving up on your relationship like this. You wonder if you are able to hate him without hating yourself, too.

“Azumane phoned me today,” he talks to you, instead. Avoiding your eyes, and avoiding bringing attention to your disdain. You bite your tongue at the name. Azumane. Hearing it on his lips never felt so wrong. “He and Noya are engaged.”

“That’s great,” you reply, but your tone says it’s anything but. Your words drawl out of your mouth, dragging on the floor below you. Because you are looking at anything but your partner, you don’t see the way his eyebrow twitches. Irritation, surely.

“We’re invited to the wedding, of course,” he tells you, grabbing from behind at your waist to pull you into an embrace. He tries to bury his head into your neck and let you feel all of his warmth. You contemplate, for a moment, letting him fall further into his delusion. You ask yourself if it will help to pretend that everything is alright. But Sugawara feels cold. He holds you like a lover, but your heart is empty.

You pull out of his grasp.

“Did he ask you to save him a dance?” you ask mockingly, thinking about the last time you saw Asahi. He called him Koushi, still.

Sugawara sighs behind you and although he approaches again to embrace you, his hands stay pinned to his side. “Why do you keep bringing it up?” he asks, hand rubbing through his hair. You bite your lip, wanting to choose your words carefully.

You do not know if you can learn to love Sugawara again, but you are certain that it depends on this moment. Though you have always been nothing but honest, lately you have been picking words more deceitfully. Is withholding information the same as lying, you wonder. If it is, you are both terrible.

But your blood is more coal than oxygen, and before you can breathe you are speaking. “What, that you dated him and you didn’t tell me? That you kept that a secret from me?” Venom drips from your lips as you speak, each word murder, and Sugawara drinks it all up from you. If you are fire, he is surely poison.

“Are you jealous?” He raises his voice and the adrenaline running through your veins turns to ice-cold fear. Suddenly, you have stepped too far into the unknown and you want your partner back. You want to continue to play like everything is fine. Rather than let remove the knife, you’d rather leave steel in your stab wound.

Jealous. His words are lethal. Your fears are confirmed, as all you have been afraid of was jealousy. For the longest time, you loathed yourself believing your spite was from envy. But you’ve learned not to underestimate yourself.

“Do you think I care who you dated, Koushi?” You wish for your words to sound as wicked as his, but when you speak it is yearning. As you pray to become a diamond under pressure, unbreakable, instead you shed your skin to become nothing but a flame-dying out. Soon, there will be nothing left but ash.

“I know you have loved people before me,” you scold him, tears pouring down your cheeks. You speak through sobs, gasping for air through it all. “You have woken up next to others, you have cried with others, you have kissed others. I know that.” You take a moment to catch your breath, and you cannot quite understand the emotion that Sugawara is looking at you with. Maybe it is because today is the first time you have truly seen him. The only time it was not just a glance or a fearful stare. But his eyes are unwavering and rigid in a way you do not recognize.

“So why is Asahi any different? What, just because he is a man?” Although you cannot understand his voice, the contempt in his voice clear as day. He does not give you a moment to breathe or think, far too frazzled by your words. The sutures holding you together come undone and you are left bleeding out. But you will not be quiet for any longer.

“Because you didn’t trust me!” Suddenly, your voice is a tidal wave. It rings through your apartment and the destruction left in its wake is devastating. Suddenly you are not fire and poison but oil and water. There is an insurmountable wall between you, keeping you out of reach, and the distance between you is limitless again. But you are not finished.

“I’m your fiancé!” you tell Sugawara. Your head hurts and your knees are shaking and frankly, you can barely see him through the tears clouding your eyes, but your voice rings through clearly. “I know you will have loved and opened up to others, but I am here for you now so why couldn’t you tell me about him? Why did I have to find out about your sexuality through your ex’s boyfriend? Why…” Overwhelmed, you fall to the ground and curl up, wanting nothing more to be small. “Why am I not enough?”

As you concede, the wall between you tumbles. You are no longer brave in trying to confront your significant other, but scared and hurt. You are a wounded animal or a cub far away from their mother. And although Sugawara still cannot quite understand you or your feelings, he knows that fighting will not help.

When he walks away, you think your life might be over. Of course, when you found out that Sugawara wasn’t exclusively dating females you had no issue with it. But in the following weeks, you wondered if there was a reason, he had kept that information secret from you. Suddenly, you could only ever picture him in the arms of Asahi. You could only ever wonder how much better Asahi loved him, how much more he gave to him. You wondered if you could compare.

Afraid of losing him, you pushed him away instead. And now, you were certain you had lost him completely.

Instead, you hear footsteps approaching you again.

“I’m sorry,” Sugawara apologizes. His voice sounds hoarse and dry. “Can I sit next to you?” When you see the red around his eyes, you nod and scoot over so he has room. He joins you, placing a warm mug in your hands and wrapping the two of you together in a warm blanket.

Sugawara rests his head on your shoulder and you let him, sipping at your hot chocolate. He made it just how you like it, with milk and extra sugar. “I was scared,” he admits and suddenly you find your palm searching for his. When you find it, he squeezes your hand with quiet assurance. “I knew it wouldn’t make a difference to you, but that didn’t stop me from being afraid. What if it changed stuff, or made stuff awkward?” He sighs, and you are simply happy to feel his warmth next to you.

“I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me,” you admit. “And that I didn’t tell you about my worries.” You still feel sick to your stomach, admittedly.

“I forgive you,” he says, and your chest feels a bit lighter. You know the weight holding you down will not go away overnight, but you are sure if you work together the two of you could raise the whole sky together.

“I love you,” you remind him, relaxing against him.

“I love you, too.” He closes his eyes.

The two of you fall asleep just like that, no longer fire or water but completely human and love.

[3pirouette]

Fic: Move Forward From This (1/1)

Title: Move Forward From This By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Disclaimer: They're not mine. Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: Set Post-Age of Ultron, written in 2015. Wanda and Steve don’t sleep, and they’re both dealing with loss.

Chapter A/N: This has been written for a while, I don’t know why I never posted it. I think it’s great now that I’ve re-read it. Another fic posted thanks to the Tumblr WIP Title Game. Implied Steggy.

~*~

She doesn’t sleep. Not anymore. Not when it’s dark outside or light outside or even when she’s exhausted from training.

She’s an Avenger now, she has to be ready for anything, and that means at least trying to rest.

But when she closes her eyes, she sees it all. She sees the death, the destruction, the fear and evil and pain that was in their heads.

She comes to the lounge on the third floor west wing, the one that most people don’t go into during the day because the sun filters through the glass and turns the room to an oven despite the air conditioning, because the angle as the sun sets makes the walls look like they’re on fire. It was a consequence of the modern design, and most of the staff just avoided the room and wrote it off. She’d heard Stark mumbling about using it for storage one day as he passed.

She loved it. She could lay curled on her side on the couch, invisible to the rest of the base, and face the long windows, feel the warmth of the sun and feel alive, watch the sunset and feel like she was burning. She could hide here, and feel things she could hide her pain in.

Imagine that it was the sun that hurt her eyes- that’s why they were filled with tears.

When she’d been a child she had always scoffed at her teacher’s lessons about heroes, about their journey and the hardships. She’d watched newsreels and laughed at the idea at these people felt pain, that they had suffered like she had.

Now she knew they did- she knew their suffering intimately, it lived in her brain, sitting between every memory she had, pulling the images out every time she closed her eyes.

She had been so wrong, and it hurt to try to think that she could move forward from this.

All the bright, shiny jackets, thick rubber boots and training sessions in the world could help her put on a strong, brave face, but it would never change what had happened, it would never take away that image of her brother limp and lifeless in Clint’s arms.

She’d tried tonight, she’d tried harder than any other night to get her mind to slow, to calm, to forget and get some rest, but she’d only been able to sleep for two hours before she awoke screaming and tangled in the blankets.

She’d come back to the lounge, a mug of tea in her hands. Sam had suggested it- chamomile, he said, helped calm the nerves. She wasn’t sure if it was the tea, or the clear night sky beyond the windows, but after a while her breathing slowed.

She was contemplating the stars, searching for constellations that weren’t familiar to her when she saw his reflection in the glass before her.

Wanda saw him in the halls late at night often, but they simply passed one another like ghosts with little nods of the head and went their separate ways each time. Tonight, he wasn’t moving, but didn’t approach her, either.

Wanda closed her eyes and she saw the beautiful brunette. We can go home, Steve, she said in her mind, a light English accent floating over her spine and making her shiver.

“You’re not like them,” she said softly, her eyes still closed tis form in the glass, concentrating instead on feeling his presence behind her. “They were afraid of violence, of destruction. I reaching into their minds and pulled from them their nightmares.”

Steve’s footfalls were quiet as he rounded the small couch, sitting gently on the edge. “Is that what everyone saw? Their nightmares?”

It hadn’t been so long ago, really. A month. Thirty days, exactly in the morning since it had all happened. Far away and yet in the scheme of everything, so very close. She nodded. “Thor transcended his fear to a higher plane, though I’m not sure how. He feared bacchanalia without purpose- he feared the loss of purpose and responsibility. Tony- Tony saw the destruction of all that he loved at his hands. Natalia, she saw her past. And yet you- I would be happy to have that dream.”

A dark smile flitted over Steve’s face as he contemplated his hands, held in tight fists and resting over his knees. “It should tell you something that you tried to pull out a nightmare and you got that, shouldn’t it?”

“Who is she?” Wanda asked quietly, setting her tea don on the small coffee table in front of them.

Steve looked at Wanda, taking in her disheveled hair, her tired eyes, her hopeful look, and cleared his throat softly. “She… she was the girl I was gonna marry when the war was over.”

“Your fiancé?” Her voice was high and confused. He’d long since been used to her steady demeanor, tonight she reminded him just how young she was.

“Not quite.” He shrugged and leaned back. “We were in love, though.” He gazed out the windows, taking in each tree and twinkling star instead of looking at Wanda as he spoke. “It was complicated back then- like now, but different. It was a different time, a different war- but there was this expectation that we all had that one day it would be over. I owed her a dance, but we never got it- instead I…” He couldn’t finish, just let the words trail off as his chin hung to his chest.

“Your hell is the life you never got to live,” Wanda whispered, heavy with understanding.

“Every night,” he affirmed, rubbing his tired eyes roughly. “Sometimes it’s the dance, sometimes it’s a little house just outside of Brooklyn or in the English country side.”  He threw his hands down to his thighs, shaking his head to try to rattle the images free. “It’s not like we had specific plans or anything, it’s not like we ever even explicitly said- but-“

Wanda reached out, taking his hand in hers. It was something she rarely did- touching other people. It made the connections strong for her, too strong sometimes. He looked at their hands held close with wide eyes. “The loss of possibilities, yes? The loss of ‘what if’?”

He held her hand tightly, just s tightly as she held his. “Yes, exactly.”

“I never imagined my life without Pietro in it, not for one second, and yet now I am faced with his absence every day.” She let go of his hand and filled her grasp with her tea, cradling the mug close to her chest. She looked at him from the side of her gaze, the sadness wafting from him mingling with her own. “We will never be who we were, or who we thought we’d be then.”

“No,” he agreed without looking at her, “we won’t.”

She sipped the tea, surprised at how comfortable she felt, wallowing in the sadness, sharing it, letting it just exist rather than fighting it. She could almost label it contentment. Almost.

The idea, the image popped into her head before she could stop it, the mad being overtaken by the mask. She wondered if it came from him or her subconscious, but either way, it made her sick. Her stomach rolled and her breath quickened until she nearly screamed. “No!”

He jumped back, looking at her with wide eyes on edge. “Wanda-“

“We are not just soldiers, Steve.” She shook her head, her tea spilling as she forced it back on the table as she climbed to her knees, turning to him and grabbing his shoulders. “We are not going to disappear into these personas of nothingness. You are not just Captain America now, I’m not just the Scarlet Witch or whatever silly name Tony’s come up with for me. We’re not characters on a t-shirt or in a movie. We’re people. You’re Steve and I’m Wanda and we’ve lost things that are so dear to us we’ll never be the same!”

He gently pulled her hands from his shoulders, his eyes sad as he willed her to calm down. “It’s easier. It’s easier to just be a soldier.”

“She wouldn’t want that, you know she wouldn’t.”

He pulled his hands away like she was fire. The truth hurt him like a knife, she could feel the energy in the room change and she knew she’d taken it to far. For the first time in a month she’d felt a connection and she’d broken it. She jumped from the couch, knocking the coffee table and her tea over in her rush to get out of the room.

“Wanda!” He called to her, stopping her just as she got to the door. She held the jam tightly, her fingers turning white. She wouldn’t look at him, couldn’t.

The silence held fast, heavy and long to the point where she was ready to leave when he finally spoke again. “I know she wouldn’t.” He sighed. “This life wasn’t a part of any future I imagined for myself.”

She cocked her head, just enough to see the shadow of him in her peripheral vision. “A life without Pietro was not every anything I planned, either.” She let her forehead rest on the door jamb. “But when you lose enough, you stop making plans.”  She took a deep breath, her fingers picking at a tiny dent in the metal jamb. “Maybe… maybe we need to start trying again.”

Steve didn’t leave the couch, but she could see him moving, heard the sound of the table being up righted and the shards of ceramic mug being picked up. “I’ll…” he sighed, stopped, and started again. “I’ll bring the tea tomorrow night, how about that?”

Wanda couldn’t help the small smile that spread over her face. “Yes, I think that is a good plan for a start.” She didn’t turn back as she left, pulled all of her senses inward so she couldn’t feel him, and headed straight to her room. He couldn’t be her brother, but at least, she thought, Steve could be a friend. Wanda didn’t remember the last time she had called someone that, and the idea of having one was warm enough to lull her back into bed, a happy enough thought to get her another hour of sleep.

[bubblyani]

Better

(Adam Sackler x Reader)

An Adam Sackler One Shot

Genre: Fluff

Request: Been trying really hard to come up with something. So its not that great of a request. How about Adam Sackler x Reader. You wrote a jealous Adam. How would Adam react if his girlfriend was jealous? If you are inclined to make it super fluffy at the end. I wouldn’t be mad at ya. Please please please? 💖💖 @danceyreagan​

Author’s Note: Writing for Adam Sackler is fun cause I could dive into the style of dialogue they have in GIRLS. Hope y’all enjoy!

The way his large, generous hand enveloped yours, it was clear that even the harshest of winds would not be able to blow you away from Adam Sackler’s grasp. Yes, as dramatic as it sounded, you felt that secure.

Warmth, it exuded through his hand, powerful enough to bring you only comfort and nothing else. It was cooling yet warm at the same time. Perfect for the summer. Your mind, it was at peace with him. Even when he took you on a stroll on the streets of Brooklyn on a lazy afternoon.

“I don't get  it…” Adam began, in a matter-of-fact tone, “…why are people so weirded out by hand holding in public?”


“Uh…” Suddenly thrown off by the question, you formed a response, “I guess some people are not as open to PDA…Adam, are you okay?” You inquired, fascinated by his enthusiastic behavior. “Me? I’m great…” He said nonchalantly. Looking at you, he smiled, “You know what?…fuck those people! Hand holding rules…I get to hold on to my girl all the time” he said proudly, raising the held hands together as if he won a trophy.

“Ooooh!” You giggled, thoroughly amused. 


“And I get to do stuff like this…WHOOOO!”

Squealing, you felt like a paper blown in the wind, when Adam started to run, pulling you with him. To the average passerby, the two of you may have looked like lunatics. But running together hand-in hand, you felt like a child. Although you were sure you weren’t so active back then as you were just this moment.

Catching one’s breath after running for a while, Adam released your hand, walking ahead while rambling of the most random topics he could come up with. Listening to him was never a burden for you. You always did so with a smile on your face. For you were genuinely inclined to. It was Adam. His silliness , his wackiness was nothing compared to the love and joy you felt being with him. And you were finally happy to share the silliness with someone who equally did not care of the social norms that had no impact. You both existed in this life, to share the embarrassment together. And you did not mind.

With your eyes solely focused on him alone, you suddenly found yourself bumping into someone, who just emerged from the retail shop nearby.

“Oh! Sorry-” You said involuntarily. Judging by the soft locks of hair that brushed against your face, you guessed it was a woman. And looking up, you were right. “It’s okay…” The woman answered. Overhearing, Adam quickly turned. He could not help but freeze in his tracks. “Mel?” He said, looking at the woman. With widened eyes, the woman opened her mouth with surprise. 


“Adam…Hey!” She cried out, but with an unexpected surprise of a tone. It sounded shy. “Hey…” Adam replied, in an equal manner.

Awkward silence emerged for a few seconds as you could not figure out what was going on. The woman finally came to her senses when she realized you had accompanied him.

“I’m sorry…” she said to you, “I’m Melanie…Mel” she added extending her hand out to you. “And this is Y/N…” Adam replied, putting his arm around your shoulder, “ …my girlfriend”

Mel looked more surprised than before. At this point you have already realized they knew each other. “Oh wow…” she began, taking the time to process the information as you shook hands with her, “…nice to meet you” she said slowly.

“You too” you said, in a confident yet curtly manner. The moment Mel let go of your hand, it seemed like you had suddenly disappeared from her eyesight, for it was only on Adam.

“You look…good…” she said to him, nodding. Surprisingly silent and obedient, Adam nodded back. “So do you…” he said softly, while they both acknowledged one another.

Feeling like the 3rd wheel in this situation, you were deeply inclined to stealthily move yourself. And you did, a few feet away. But at the same time, you stood close enough to asses the entire situation, for you were no fool.

Mel, she was beautiful. If her beauty was to be described in one word, it would be as breathtaking. With your hands folded, you watched them with the same intensity as watching a complicated sports game. Your eyes were busy analyzing their every move. Their manner of talking was soft, which clearly did not fit the description of long time friends. Their choice of words were careful.  And from the angle you stood, you could clearly see how her eyes dilated by the sight of him every second.

For a second, you wished you knew Adam’s reaction too.

This sort of behavior, you’d certainly be a fool to not know what they were.

A minute or two later, Mel made her exit. But not before nodding at you. Nodding back with a constrained smile, your arms remained folded as Adam walked  over to you.

“So…” He began awkwardly, “…uh…that was-” “Your ex?” You asked, wearing the same tense smile. Adam nodded quickly. “Yep…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(An hour later)

“Hey…Hope you’re not feeling sick or anything. Just so you know, if you need me to come over…all you gotta do is ask…okaaay. Anyways, I’ll talk to you later, Bye!”

As soon as Adam’s voice message ended, you tossed the phone away, as you tossed to the other side on your bed. Truthfully, you wished you were sick. Rather be sick than have this feeling, you thought.

The stroll, it continued after Mel left. You remember how your eyes lingered on Adam  while he continued with his ramble. Except your conscious was nowhere near there. Suddenly you could not smile the way you used to. You felt unhappiness, poking you in the heart with a reminder. At first you did not know why. But with each step you took, you came to the realization.

Sure, we all had past relationships. So did you, so did Adam. It was a given. In fact, when you first met him, you were well aware of the fact he was getting over his previous relationship, which had ended horribly. But never did you expect to meet the woman behind it all. You did not think it was someone who was as perfect as Melanie.

The more you were aware of her existence, the more sour you felt. Jealousy, it was knowingly swallowing you whole to the point you could not pretend anymore. It was tiring to feign enthusiasm. And since Adam did not dare to expand on the topic even after the encounter, you felt pressure in holding it all in.

So much so you excused yourself to go back to your apartment, alone.

Jealousy, it turned you into someone different entirely. Sighing deeply, you closed your eyes as you drifted off to sleep.

If your normal self was Dr.Jekyl, the Jealous you was definitely your Mr.Hyde.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The next morning)

“…and boom! I got this sweet ride for half the cost. Isn’t that awesome?” Adam’s voice woke you from your thoughts. “Hmm….” With arms folded, you remained unmoved as you stared ahead sitting on the passenger seat of the car. It was Adam’s niece’s birthday, and his sister had decided to hold it at a place outside the city. Though you were far from willing to step out of the apartment with Mr.Hyde inside, you still joined your boyfriend when he rented a car to go there.

Surprised by your silence, Adam kept driving. Though it was obvious he was deciding to move over to another topic. “So…uh…you wanna listen to something?” He inquired, reaching out to the radio. No answer. It was as if he was the only occupant in the car. 
“Okay…still silence it is then…” He muttered awkwardly. The outskirts of the city welcomed the both of you when Adam decided to speak once again.

“You know…” he began, “I’m not the one to usually bring up stuff like this but…” he continued, “Did you bring any makeup with you?”

Turning your head to him with annoyance, you shot him a look. “Why? Am I not pretty enough?” You snapped. 


“NO no no…Jesus!” He replied quickly. Sighing, he added “It’s just that…this is kinda of a formal thing, and I really don’t want you to regret not putting anything on…cause you usually do”

You looked at your reflection on your phone. Mr.Hyde seemed to have convinced you to care lesson yourself you even forgot to put on makeup before the trip. Adam was right. But somehow you just felt worse.

“Well…”you began sternly, “if that’s the case then …why don’t you ask MEL to accompany you, huh?” To your horror, you almost felt yourself bark by the end of the sentence. But at that moment you really did not care.

Exhaling deeply, Adam quickly pulled the car over, bringing it to a steady halt. “Why are we stopping? You asked angrily. “Cause we need to talk…outside” Adam said, surprisingly very calm. Unable to smile, your face was stuck in a resting bitch-face mode as he gestured you to get out of the car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The outskirts of New York deserved more of the attention. But today was not the day. Amidst the trees and bushes by the road, Adam watched you. With his hands is his jacket pockets, he watched you pace from side to side.

“Y/N…” Adam began calmly, “You okay?” “Uh huh….” Nonchalantly you answered, trying your hardest to avoid the question.

“See? I can tell that you’re definitely not okay” Adam finally spoke up in a tone that made you pause. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he took a step towards you. “You’re upset about something. And… you know what? no matter how long you’re gonna stand here sulking….I don’t give a shit” he said, with a serious tone, “You’re gonna tell me what the fuck is going on with you. Cause I’ve never seen this side to you, Y/N. And its making me worried-”

“OKAY!….” you cried out. His incessant ramble finally broke you down. But what really broke you was his concern in particular. It made the insensitive side of yours break it’s walls, to see how patient he was with your stubborn behavior, ever since yesterday. And how patient he was now.

“Okay…I’ll talk. I’m gonna talk.” You said with a sigh.


“Great” “But I’m gonna talk a lot.” “Well…good. Cause that’s what I want” Your heart melted upon hearing those words. “Really?” You asked. “Yeah!” He answered without hesitation. Taking a deep breath, you looked right into his eyes. 
“Okay…Look! You’re a hottie… and-” “What? THAT’S IT?” He asked confusingly, making you burst out laughing to his surprise. “Stop! I’m trying to be serious” “Yeah… well, that was a good start” He replied with sarcasm, making you chuckle harder. “Sackler come on!” You said, playfully smacking him on his chest, “ I mean it. You’re this …hella attractive guy, and I knew going out with you, I have to put up with the women throwing themselves at you. Being an actor and all. And I didn’t mind. I didn’t care. I really didn’t give a fuck” “You didn’t ?” “I didn’t ” you repeated, “But…When I saw your ex…she…I mean, Mel is gorgeous. Like mad gorgeous” “No she isn’t” Shocked by his quick response, your jaw dropped. “You gotta be blind if you really mean that” you said, appalled. Adam raised both his hands. “Is this… some kind of self validation on appearances or something?” He asked. “NO No…I normally don’t care but…” you said, frustrated, “…seeing her, and seeing the two of you together talking…I just felt so horrible. Like a legit stomach pain. Not because I’m worried of how she looks better than me…It’s just that..with you guys having such a long history, I wondered, are you guys suddenly gonna have hope for each other again?” You said, as you let your thoughts take you, “Maybe you’ll start…thinking about her again and…One afternoon you guys would probably wanna meet up for coffee, but will it end with just coffee? NO! It won’t” Engaged in your green thoughts, you did not even notice your voice breaking with emotion, “And the next thing you know, you’ll tell me you don’t love me anymore and… leave me and-”

“Hey hey hey! Shhhh!” Adam cut you off gently, pulling you into an embrace,  “Where the hell did you just go?” He asked. As vulnerable as you were, you welcomed this warmth gladly. “I’m sorry…” you sniffed, “When I get jealous I get…super paranoid. And it just goes down the spiral…it’s crazy. It’s bad I know. I’m sorry-” “Shh…” he repeated, “It’s okay…” patting your back gently. With eyes closed, you remained in the warmth of his embrace for a few minutes. Both of you dwelled in comfortable silence while the birds chirped and the soft wind caressed your bodies.

“Do you know why me and Mel broke up?” He asked, making you pull away all the sudden. “No…” wiping your nose, you answered, “… cause I didn’t want to pry into the your romantic past. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable…” Adam chuckled, upon hearing your response, “You know, this was one of the reasons I liked you so much” he said, stroking your head lovingly, “You’re so cool. Like… in the best way” “Shhh stop!” You smiled shyly, hugging him again. “So… why did you guys break up?” You asked him. Adam’s chest rose as he took a deep breath. “She cheated on me…” he said, “When I confronted her about it, all she could say was…she wanted someone better” With widened eyes, you tried your best to process the news. Adam chuckled. “Imagine how that made me feel?”  He asked. “Yeah, that must have sucked…” you said, voice muffled against his jacket, “…I mean..how can she say that? About you especially?” “Yeah?” He asked, pulling away to look at you. “Yeah…that’s just crazy talk” “You know what else is crazy talk?” He said softly,  “You…thinking I might leave you”

Embarrassment swallowed you whole completely, you had nowhere else to look but down. How could you act this way to a man like him?

“Hey!…” Adam began, “…C’mere” taking your chin by the hand so that you eyes met. “Mel may have thought I wasn’t better…” he said, “… but she’ll never be better than you-” “Adam, I don’t care if I’m better…It’s not a competition” Your voice got emotional again, “I just want you to love me as much as I love you”

Those words, they sealed the deal when Adam swooped in, kissing you passionately on the lips. You felt the closet to being saved when those lips fed you the sweet nectar of the love you indulged from him all this time. Melting in his arms in completion, you held onto him with your dear life as he lifted you up, taking you on a spin before he put you down again. Your heart, it felt light, it felt refreshed.

“Y/N…” Adam began,  “Being with you, I spent possibly the happiest days of my life. Do I need to say more?”

Your lips quivered with emotion as you cupped his face.

“No need” you said, as your fingers traced over his goatee, “… that was more than enough”

And in a flash, his generous hand enveloped yours, providing you with the security and warmth you longed for. But more importantly, providing you with the absolute certainty of the real love you both shared for one another.

Check my MASTERLIST for More:)

[tomthesoftie]

can u do a imagine where it describes tom and y/ns romantic valentines day from morning to night and then towards almost midnight tom proposes her to be his wife and she is overjoyed btw y/ns sister is dating harry.

cheesy spoilers pt.2

a/n: this was so long... it took me like 3 hours to finish it, so hopefully it’s up to standards... enjoy my lovelies xx

warnings: minimal sexual innuendos, swearing, nervous tom

masterlist                     prompt list

pt.1 | p1.2

You awoke to the aroma of delectable foods coming through the cracks of the door. Your eyes fluttered open only to shut after meeting the beam of light peeking through the curtains. You groaned, shuffling under the covers, not wanting to get up.

You heard the door creaking as your brunette boy stuck his head into the open space between the door frame and the door. His eyes focused on you, he saw your figure under the large white blanket. Quietly, he tip-toed over to you and hopped onto your body, eliciting a moan of pain from you.

“Tom,” you moaned.

“Fuck, darling, do that again,” he sighed.

“Stop,” you blushed, “Get off of me. You’re heavy.”

“How rude,” he scoffed, standing back up.

You giggled and took his hand before he hoisted you out of the bed. He dragged you to the dining table, plates neatly displayed at two seats across of each other.

“For you, m’lady,” he pulled out a chair for you.

“Thank you,” you said softly, “Did you do all of this? Just for me?”

“Well, I had some help from Sam, but I did most of the work. Besides, why wouldn’t I do this for you?” He smiled proudly.

“I love you so much,” you gushed, “But we’ve been together for years now. There’s no need to be extra.”

“Anything for my love. Now, less talking and more eating,” he declared as he dug into his plate of food.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence while eating your brunch, only sounds of chewing or the knife cutting your meal occasionally filling the air. You would look across at Tom from time to time. He looked quite nervous about something as you could hear his leg bouncing under the table.

“Anything wrong, Tommy?” You asked, concerned.

He seemed shocked but answered, “No, nothing wrong at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, don’t worry about me. Just enjoy yourself,” he smiled before getting lost in his train of thought once more.

You couldn’t seem to put your finger on what he was so worried about. You tried to think back to the night before, but your memory was foggy. You couldn’t remember much from last night.

“Falling in love with you was the second best thing that happened to me,” he whispered.

“Second? Excuse you?” You tipped your head up to look at the brunette.

“But meeting you was the first,” he finished.

“Ew, you’re so cheesy,” your hand reached up to squish his cheek.

“You love me, though,” he turned his head in attempt to bite your hand.

“Ay! I do love you, but you’re such a div most of the time.”

“Who’s the one who does the dishes, washes the dirty laundry, and cleans the house?”

“Me,” you replied, eyebrows furrowed.

You felt like you were missing something crucial from the conversation. You focused on the conversation, hoping it would help you put the pieces together, but to your dismay, you could only remember getting tired and falling asleep in Tom’s arms. You shrugged it off and finished your meal.

Tom stood from his seat, plates and utensils in his arms, walking towards you.

“Finished?”

“Yes, thank you,” you grabbed your own dishes before he stopped you.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it. You go and get ready. I’m taking you out for a stroll somewhere you’ll love and then to dinner,” he took your plates and piled it into his arms.

You watched his back as he left to do the dishes. As much as you loved the boy, he annoyed you by always pushing you away when you offered to help. Rolling your eyes, you did as he instructed.

You walked out of your room, hair neatly curled and wearing a floral square neck sundress. Your white Chelsea boots clicked as you made your way to the kitchen.

“I’m ready, Tommy,” you announced, stepping into the room.

“Perfect, I just finished,” he said, wiping his hands on the washcloth.

He turned around to face you and was rendered speechless. His eyes were wide and tinted with admiration. He blinked, scanning his eyes over your form.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you teased.

“Let’s get going,” he chuckled, finally moving from his state of awe. “You look gorgeous, by the way,” he whispered in your ear as he wrapped an arm around your waist.

You giggled, blushing as you gently slapped his chest. As you reached the door to your home, you grabbed your round, straw shoulder bag and placed your phone and wallet into it. Tom grabbed the keys to his Audi, starting it up after leaving the house. You sat beside him in the passenger seat, staring at the neighboring homes as you drove by. Soon those homes became cars then trees. 

“Where are we?” You asked.

“The Hill Garden and Pergola. You’ll love it.”

He parked the car and the two of you got out of the vehicle. He grasped your hand, leading you to the vast green land. When you entered, you did love it. There were beautiful shades of greens and occasional pops of colors from the flowers. You walked through the structures and into a large space. Pillars surrounded an empty center and supported to gridded roof. Past this area was a round structure with a teal dome ceiling.

“C’mon, Tommy,” you took your boyfriend’s hand, rushing him towards it.

A bright smile lit up your face while Tom looked nervous and frustrated. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his left hand remained in his pocket, grasping an object. In the confined, isolated space, he found this as a perfect opportunity.

“Y/N,” you turned to face him, “We’ve known each other for more than a decade, and we’ve been together for 6 years now.” He got down on one knee, revealing a red leather box with the word Cartier in gold on it. He opened the box, “I can’t imagine my life without you. You’ve been the love of my life ever since we were only teenagers. I want to have children and grow old with you. If you’ll do me the honor, that is.”

Tears filled your eyes, hands cupping your mouth. Your words came out as strange slurs and sobs. You resorted to nodding and stuck your hand out for him to slip on the ring. He stood for his stance and pulled you into a tight hug, spinning you in the air before connecting his lips with yours.

“Thank you so much, love. You’ve no idea how blessed I am to get a girl like you,” he spoke, your foreheads resting against each other.

“No, thank you, Tommy,” you sputtered.

Lost in the moment, you hadn’t noticed the small crowd that filled the area. They had started clapping and whistling, catching your attention. You laughed and smiled, waving at them. As the two of you exited the structure, many people congratulated you. A group of girls hid on the side, crying and whining in jealousy. They glared at you as you walked by, but you weren’t fazed by it, too consumed in the proposal.

Tom drove back to town, valeting the car as you arrived at the building. He led you into the it and up an elevator to 31st floor. The metallic doors opened, displaying the restaurant Aqua Shard. Remembering the familiarity of the restaurant, you realized it was rather expensive, in your opinion.

“No, I couldn’t,” you tugged on your fiancé’s arm.

“Yes, you can. Besides, I already have a reservation,” he objected.

“Fine but you can’t make me waste your money,” you snapped.

“You’re not wasting any of my money. You’re worth it, all of it,” he leaned down, gently kissing you.

The waitress behind the pedestal brought you to your seats. You had a perfect view of River Thames and Tower Bridge. You were also able to watch the the burst of pink and orange fill the sky as the sun set. 

You ordered the most affordable dishes they had. You’d gotten pearl barley risotto, which surprisingly was able to fill your stomach. Tom offered to get dessert but you denied. Obviously, he thought you were acting obnoxiously and bought it anyway.

“Ugh, I’m so full but it looks so good,” you groaned.

“It’s for you, darling. Dig in,” he pushed the dish towards you.

“You’re trying to stuff me,” you argued but tasted the chocolate and toffee tart. “Fuck, it’s good,” you moaned as you took another bite of it.

“I told you,” he smirked, receiving a roll of your eyes.

Tom drove back home with an overstuffed you. You felt sick from all the food that was contained in your stomach. You complained to him multiple times on your ride back. He only laughed at you and ignored your complaints.

You stepped out of the car, stretching with a sigh. You were able to digest most of the food on the long drive. Tom unlocked the door, and you rushed in to the warmth. On the counter, there were a dozen of roses with a small note attached to it: Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Tom

Then, the events from the night before came rushing back into your mind.

“That’s true, but who works their arse off to impress you and make you feel loved? Who bought you a dozen of roses and a promise ring to show their dedication?” He teased, poking at your sides. 

“Oh my god! How did I forget?” You groaned.

Tom looked at you, confused, “What?”

“You told me about your gifts last night, but this morning, I forgot about it completely,” you face-palmed.

“Really? I thought you remembered, that’s why I was so stressed,” he explained.

“Well, I didn’t so it was a nice surprise,” you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he pulled you into a passionate kiss.

He pushed you against the wall, hips rubbing against each other. Your legs were wrapped around his waist, and your hands were combing through his curls. His hands reached down to grab your ass. He squeezed it, gaining a moan from you.

He pulled away and breathlessly said, “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

You didn’t need to reply, he was already making his way to your shared room. He slammed the door locked behind him.

Surely the next morning, you would be sore, but that’s to care for later. For now, you’d enjoy it. The night was restless. There was no silence in the house all night

[taelme]

can you write a parent!au with Taeil where you both are taking care of your kid while their sick (maybe twins?) so you put them to bed or sumn. this is kinda a mess , I loved your Taeyong au with byul!!

genre: parent!au, established relationship!au, kind of slice-of-life, right? I think haha, domestic!au (fluff just alot of domestic soft parent taeil)pairing/s: Taeil / Readerword count: 3k+tw: nonea/n: thank u so so much for being patient anon!! im taeil biased and I love domestic aus so this was very much self-indulgent as well HAHA i hope you enjoy this!!

On days like these, you’d never appreciated Taeil’s presence more.

You were currently rushing over from the bakery you worked at part-time while the kids were at school, a privilege that was courtesy of the kind elderly woman who took you and Taeil under her wing when you were newlyweds.

Upon receiving the phone-call, your heart sank. You’d heard about a few of their classmates having fallen sick recently, not knowing that the flu virus would have spread so quickly to the twins, knowing it was only made worse with the awfully rainy weather you’d been experiencing.

Your only consolation as you were making your way to the preschool was that it was almost time for Taeil to get off work, meaning that you would get help to care for your kids soon.

The receptionist who you were pretty familiar with had greeted you with a sigh of relief, a young girl with a bubbly tone. You didn’t miss the sympathetic look she had given you as she buzzed you in, and you didn’t have to ask her to know that the sound of the crying in the distance belonged to your children. 

Letting her lead you to their classroom, you spotted your pair of 2-year-olds, crying their hearts out as they sat on a mat away from the other students, the teachers desperately trying to soothe them.

“Look, look! Look who’s here!”

One of their teachers gave you a relieved smile upon spotting you, managing to successfully divert your children’s attention towards you, your toddlers standing up immediately and running over to your squatting form with a loud cry leaving their lips.

Opening your arms wide, you’d let them collide into you, rubbing their backs soothingly as you consoled them, “it’s okay, I’m here, I’m gonna take you home, okay?”

Their form teacher had made her way to you, letting the other teacher instruct the children to go to their respective seats, about to start another activity with them. 

“We really didn’t want to disrupt you, but they seemed to be going through a lot of stress so we figured it was best to call you so they can go see a doctor,” the teacher told you apologetically, making you shake your head in dismissal.

“It’s fine, really,” you assured her, “I understand how hard it must’ve been with all of this going on,” you gestured towards the rest of the students who were talking and playing loudly amidst all that was happening.

“Will you be able to manage?” the receptionist had asked, though you knew it was simply out of sympathy since there wasn’t much of a way for her to help if you had said no.

Choosing instead to nod, you stood up, carrying your daughter on your hip and holding your son’s hand with your free hand, managing to usher then out of the class as the teacher explained the situation further to you. 

You had to manage, anyhow.

Cursing mentally, you knew that you didn’t have medicine at home, since you hadn’t found the time to buy any since the last time Taeil fell sick. And your children’s tired-looking, tear-stained faces weren’t doing anything to lessen your worry.

You’d felt your son tugging on the fabric of your pants.

“My head,“ he whimpered, his features beginning to pull into a frown as his pout grew bigger, signs that you knew were the prelude of tears.

“I know, honey, that’s why we’re gonna go to the doctor now, okay?” you told him as you were helping him put on his shoes, your daughter clinging to you tightly as you did so.

“So that the doctor can give you and your sister medicine,” you explained, “then you guys will feel better, hmm?” you gave him a reassuring smile, watching your son nod slowly, feeling too uncomfortable to be anything other than compliant at this point.

Figuring you shouldn’t waste anymore time, you’d bid goodbye to the teachers, fumbling to get your daughter’s shoes on before you left the centre.

Like you said, on days like these, you were extremely thankful for Taeil. 

Had he not chosen this neighbourhood for the both of you, you wouldn’t have been able to bring your twins to the doctors as smoothly as you did now. Though your shoulders were already beginning to ache from carrying your daughter with one hand.

Your son was snuggled up against your arm, staring at the elderly lady sitting nearby that was smiling at him, and you shifted carefully in your seat as your daughter was beginning to fall asleep on your shoulder, giving you a chance to phone Taeil.

“Hello?” You spoke, hearing the tell-tale sound of him clearing his throat. 

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” you could practically imagine his smile. 

You couldn’t help but sigh, huffing in spite of yourself, “the school called to tell me that the kids weren’t feeling well—”

“Huh? Where are you now?” you heard him pause to bid one of his colleagues goodbye.

“—so I’m at the doctors now, but there’s a few people ahead of us so we won’t be that fast,” you glanced at your queue number. You were about 3 consultations away.

You heard muffled noises on Taeil’s side, being able to faintly make out the sound of him bidding goodbye to someone.

“Okay, I’ll head over now, see you soon,” Taeil’s words came out calm, serving to lessen your worry slightly as you bid him goodbye and hung up.

Two patients down in the queue, you’d heard the bells at the door jingle to signal the entrance of another patient you assumed.

Looking up, you couldn’t help but smile, letting out a deep sigh of relief as you saw your husband walking towards you, raising his eyebrows in amusement as he spotted your half-asleep twins lying on and against you.

Upon being woken up by the harsh sound of the nurse’s partition being shut, your daughter had let out a whimper, her cries slowly growing as the discomfort started to kick-in.

Taeil had a smile full of affection on his face at the sight of his daughter, cooing and making soothing sounds at her as you attempted to ease her distress, you waited for Taeil to be done settling down before handing your daughter carefully to him.

“Why are you crying?” he cooed, bouncing her lightly on his shoulder as she had calmed down in the arms of her father.

You felt him lean over to give you a hug, pressing a light kiss to your cheek as you caught the whiff of a scent that was utterly calming, a scent that to this day you could only associate with Taeil. You resisted the urge to sink into his touch.

“Hey, baby,” he murmured.

You heard your son mumble something incoherent, looking up and mustering a tired smile for his dad as Taeil smoothed your son’s hair over, your son bringing a hand up to rub his eye as he wrapped his other arm around yours.

Stretching his arms out in a silent plea to be carried, you couldn’t help but smile, hoisting your son up onto your lap, letting him lean over to sling his arms around your neck, surprising you at his body temperature.

“He’s burning up,” you told Taeil, making Taeil reach over a hand to press it against your son’s forehead gently, the boy leaning into his father’s touch with his eyes drooping closed.

Taeil grimaced, glancing at the queue number currently being flashed on the board, “hopefully the next consultation will be done quickly.” He said, more as a consolation for you since he knew you long enough to be able to tell that you were worried.

Taeil leaned his head against the wall, his hand rubbing your daughter’s back soothingly, “did you have a hard time just now?”

You shrugged, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Not really, I’m just glad you’re here now,” you told him, earning a tight-lipped smile from him. 

“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

 You shook your head at Taeil’s question.

“I haven’t, but I doubt either of us have any energy to cook,” you huffed, earning a nod from him, his hand that wasn’t holding your daughter reaching over to grasp yours, his fingers interlocking with yours, resting your interlocked hands on his thigh.

“The kids probably won’t be able to stomach the usual food, anyway. We can just head next door to get something for all of us,” he said, referring to the small (but very well patronised) Chinese food restaurant that you frequented since your kids loved their soup.

Taeil yawned, blinking slowly as he looked at you with hooded eyes, “how were things at the bakery today?”

Your attention was temporarily diverted when you saw the board flash a new number, signalling that you were next in line. Taeil being able to sense your anxiousness, your mind clearly preoccupied with how you’d completely missed his question. 

“Hmm?” you looked at him expectantly, curious as to why he was looking at you like that.

“Do you want to borrow my shoulder?” he asked, his tone light yet firm.

You shook your head, “it’s alright, you worked the whole day…you’re probably more tired than I am,” you explained.

Taeil gave you a look of disbelief, his hand coming up to smooth over your daughter’s hair, “yeah, you’re not fooling anyone—”

“Taeil, please. I’ll manage,” you gave his hand a firm squeeze, hoping your tone was as firm as the gesture.

You spent the next waiting moments zoning out, your son beginning to fiddle with your hair and giggling whenever he managed to tuck the stray strands behind your ears.

You’d felt Taeil tap your hand before you heard the ding of the queue number changing, “c'mon,” he got up with a grunt.

This elicited a giggle from you, trying your best to withhold your comment on how you were both getting old as you picked your son up with a light grunt of your own and carried him over to the doctor’s office.

You were thankful Taeil did most of the talking. You tended to trust him more whenever it came to the more serious matters like these, and of course, you knew this was a serious matter, but you couldn’t help but swoon at Taeil’s demeanour. Fortunately, you weren’t the one that was explaining to the doctor, you wouldn’t have been able to focus for very long.

“Can you bring watch the kids first? I can go and buy the food while you’re waiting,” you told Taeil, seeing him nod at you, prompting you to go as he led your children to the reception area, being able to faintly hear him telling them you were going to get their dinner.

The grandma that ran the restaurant had recognised you, asking you many questions about how you were and how your family was doing while you waited for the food to be prepared.

“Did you come with your husband?” She asked.

You nodded, an unconscious smile making its way on your face as you thought about Taeil, “yeah, he’s next door waiting for the kids’ medicine.”

She gave you a smile, the kind you would give at a cute animal or an adorable baby, “you two are so sweet, send my regards to him and the darlings, okay?” she told you.

Casting a look behind her, she’d stood up, briskly walking over to the kitchen and coming back out with your food orders, “thank you, sweetie.”

You shook your head, thanking her for the food before going out of the restaurant, seeing that Taeil was already waiting outside the doctors for you, pointing in your direction to alert your kids. 

“Look! Your food is all ready, now we can go home!” Taeil said in an overly-enthusiastic tone, waving your twins hands in the air to get them in a more excited mood. 

Your daughter giggled at Taeil’s behaviour, Taeil’s tone managing to get her excited at the thought of food, and you took your son’s hand as you walked back to where Taeil parked the car.

You could hear him humming a song absently as you both strapped your kids into the car seat, the familiarity of it serving to calm you down (which was Taeil’s goal). Letting him drive, you’d spent the ride in relative silence, aside from the sound of Taeil’s music, until you were home.

“We shouldn’t shower them, should we?” You asked, looking to him briefly for advice as you opened your front door, ushering your son in with an excited sound, making the boy erupt in a fit of giggles as he waddled in the direction of his room.

Taeil hummed, his lips twisting into a thoughtful purse, eventually shaking his head, “I remember my grandma telling me that you should give them a sponge bath, she used to do that when we were children and we were running fevers,” he recalled.

Humming in acknowledgement, you nodded, leading your kids to the bathroom as you prepared whatever you needed.

Taeil squat down next to your kids and helped them out of their clothes, pulling his sleeves up to his elbows as he helped you to wash them.

After you were done, you’d brought them to the dining room to eat, thankful that they were compliant even despite the discomfort they must be feeling.

Your son pushed back Taeil’s hair that was falling out of place with a giggle as Taeil fed him, the sight alone enough to make you smile.

“What are you doing, baby?” You asked.

Your son turned to you with a smile, his hands moving to cover Taeil’s forehead. Swallowing his mouthful of dumplings, he spoke, “daddy’s hair is too long, he can’t see.”

You pressed your lips together in your attempt to stifle your laughter, shooting a look at Taeil who simply sighed in agreement, “you’re right, I think I’m due for a haircut too.”

“I think daddy will look cute with short hair, don’t you think?” You asked your daughter, feeding her the last bit of her dumpling as she looked at Taeil curiously, as if trying to imagine what he would look like before nodding her head vigorously, her eyes pulling into small crescents as she grinned at you.

Taeil scoffed playfully at you, “I’m cute with any hair.” Making you laugh, shaking your head at him, turning to scoop the last of your daughter’s food into her mouth. 

“All done,” you sing-songed, standing up to dispose of the food packets, cheering internally that there were no dishes that needed to be done.

Leading your kids back to their room, you’d almost cooed at the sight of how readily they’d gotten into bed with their fever patches on their forehead, excited that Taeil was about to read them their bedtime story.

Soon enough, you could tell they were beginning to doze off, murmurs of ‘goodnights’ leaving them before they’d forgotten all about the story, not seeming to care what would happen to ‘Curious George’ anymore as their breaths evened out, their tiny figures clutching to their bolsters tightly.

Taeil’s eyebrows lifted as he carefully pulled the book from the bed, setting it on the bedside table before turning to you with a tired smile.

Walking out of their room, you saw him raise a hand up to you, not being able to help but laugh as you gave him a high-five, feeling his arm go around you to rub your arm soothingly.

“We did it!” He murmured as triumphantly as he could without waking the kids, earning a groan of relief from you.

“For today,” you sighed, “you should’ve seen them at the centre, they looked like they were in so much pain. Let’s just hope they recover soon.”

Walking into your bedroom, you’d gone to shower first, Taeil lounging on the floor next to your bed using his phone as he waited. You were done quickly (despite the ache in your shoulders), letting Taeil shower as you took your time to get changed, searching through your drawers to find pain-relief patches.

Going over to your kids room, you’d turned on their night-light, sitting at the small chair you had near their bed and basking in the calm of their room for a while, the sight of them peacefully sleeping serving to calm your heart down a little more.

Taeil figured you were in the room when he hadn’t seen you in your bedroom after showering. Going over to your kids room after changing and opening the door slowly to find you in your children’s room, walking over to you and holding his hand out for you to take. 

He’d looked different now, so much younger in his sleeping attire, his simple shorts and t-shirt a big contrast from his office-wear, his hair still slightly damp and messy from being tousled by his towel.

“Ready to go to bed?” He asked, earning a shake of the head from you.

“Me neither,” he huffed with a smile, stretching out a hand for you to take, and you’d let him pull you back to your room. 

Sitting on your side of the bed, Taeil made his way over after turning off the light, the small lamp on your beside table casting a warm glow on where you were. About to pull you over, Taeil frowned upon spotting the pain relief patches on your bed.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, setting your phone down and turning, seeing him holding up the box of pain-relief patches, “nothing, my shoulders just kind of hurt, I think it’s my sleeping position and carrying the kids just now made it hurt a little worse.”

Taeil frowned, beckoning you over to the bed as he sat behind you, cross-legged, one of his hands going up to rest on your shoulder nearer to your neck, “here?”

You brought your hand up to grasp his, moving it just slightly, “here.”

Taeil tut his tongue in feigned annoyance, already beginning to dig his thumb into your shoulder, “you’re almost as stiff as me,” he snickered, “you see, this is what happens when you don’t let me take care of you more.”

You rolled your eyes, not being able to retort when you’d felt him apply more pressure on your shoulders, letting your eyes close briefly at the sensation, not knowing how much time had passed before he stopped, letting out a small huff of amusement.

“Better stop now, wouldn’t want you falling asleep like this.” He helped you paste the patches on your skin, tossing the box onto the nearby work desk, and you turned around to face him.

“How was work?” You asked, hearing him hum.

“The usual, I guess, there wasn’t much going on today other than working on my marketing proposal,” he yawned, “oh, right, Johnny told me to tell you he says hi,” he huffed, lying down on his side of the bed, his palm going under his pillow as he looked at you from where he lay.

You couldn’t help but laugh, “that’s cute. Can I bring over some lunch next week?” You lay down, rolling over onto your side to face him, feeling him roll over so he was facing you as well.

“For me? Or for Johnny?” He teased, making you gasp. 

“Fine, I’ll just bring it for Johnny then since you don’t—”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Of course, you can.” He was quick to make a disclaimer, lest you really show up without his lunch. You sighed, shooting him a harmless glare.

“I think I’ll stay home tomorrow to look after the kids,” you yawned, hearing him whisper a small thank you, his thumb rubbing the skin of your waist gently, a yawn leaving him as well. 

“You know…” you began, “today while everything was happening, there was just one thought that kept popping into my head.”

Taeil sniffed, nodding at you as he blinked slowly, prompting you to continue, reaching one of his hands out to brush your hair behind your ear, feeling the cold metal of his wedding ring graze your cheek in an ever so feather-like manner as he pushed your hair away from your neck absently.

“How good this neighbourhood is?” He joked, making you scoff.

“Yes, that was one,” you smiled, “but the other thought was…how thankful I was for you.”

Taeil fell silent at that, simply looking at you with a tired smile on his face, your words seeming to have filled him with even more love for you, if that was possible.

You heard stories about your friends who were struggling to take care of their kids when both they and their partners were working, and you knew that choosing to sacrifice your job temporarily was a choice you were willing to make, but you were thankful you had someone like Taeil by your side who was more than willing to do his part as a father, most of the times doing more than the bare minimum.

“What?” you broke the silence, not being able to handle him staring at you like that any longer even though you’ve been together for so long, making him shake his head, his movements almost seeming slower as he shifted closer, his hand going under your chin gently as he pressed his lips against yours.

Pulling away, he’d let his forehead rest against yours gently, a silent acknowledgement of your words.

“Love you,” he murmured, making you pout before leaning over and closing the gap between the both of you, kissing him a little longer this time.
Pulling away reluctantly, Taeil had wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer so your head was now resting on one of his biceps, your arms wrapped lazily around his torso as well.

“Goodnight,” you murmured.

Taeil rubbed your back gently, “‘night.”

[sidespromptblog]

Apologies

Summary: Roman has something that he wants to tell Logan, and ordinarily, it could wait until morning... until they were all well-rested. But he knew that should he turn away now... he'd never tell Logan, and he'd spend the rest of the night calling himself a coward. 

Word Count: 2900

AO3 LINK

Its already well past midnight when Roman walks to Logan’s room, and its already well past midnight when he just stands there pondering on whether he should even knock or just walk right back to his own room and go to bed. Or… in the very least try to go to bed, and just lay awake staring at the ceiling with his own internal thoughts running him in circles until the morning sun were to rise. He very well could do that, Logan would never know that he was there, and he could go on acting as if nothing were wrong. He was an actor after all… such a skilled actor to keep on acting and acting like nothing was wrong. 

It would be easy, so very easy to do so. At least had it not been for…

“Shut up nerdy wolverine!” The very same lines that his own brother had spoken to Logan, it really was just the latest slap in the face that he was no better than his brother. Sure he didn’t quip about sex jokes, and he didn’t throw ninja stars at people’s head, but… he had hurt them in other ways. Much more personal ways in the way that his brother too was very adept at doing as well, he had hurt… oh, he had hurt. 

“Hush sub-astute teacher!” 

“Stupid!”

“Book germ.”

“You’re alone!” 

His fingers itched and itched the longer that he stood there, and the longer that he stood there the more he was coming to regret just being there in the first place. Who was to say that Logan would even be awake at this time? With such a stickler Logan was about getting to bed on time, surely he’d be asleep and he’d be even more upset at Roman for interrupting his much-needed rest. He could already imagine the lecture now, Logan with his crossed arms and his pursed lips forming a frown. Especially with what had happened after today, after being wounded multiple times by Remus and being put through the wringer he’d need that rest and-

A shadow moved under the doorway.

He was awake, after midnight no less.

He could still leave and… 

“No,” Roman roughly shook himself, was he a prince or wasn’t he? “No running, you came here to do something, so do it gosh dang it!” He scolded himself, feeling almost ashamed to how close he had come to just dropping everything and running like a coward. There would be no running today from this, not now and most certainly not ever in his opinion. 

Not about this. 

But that didn’t necessarily make it any easier on him, that was for damn sure.  

Swallowing thickly as he raised his clenched fist to the door, Roman took in a deep breath before his short terse knocks connected to the door undoubtedly alerting Logan that someone was there. And just like that, with that one little realization that soon enough… Logan would answer the door and he’d have t deal with the awkwardness of asking to come in, that set Roman’s nerves ablaze. So without so much as giving it a second thought, he seized the doorknob and stiffly jerked the door open as if his wrist had been attached to a marionette string and not his actual body.  

And upon opening the door, slammed it right into Logan’s face. 

Almost immediately a hundred apologies spilled from his lips as he scuttled into the room slamming the door behind him in order to check and make sure that he hadn’t irreparably hurt the logical side. 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I should have waited for you to open the door, like a normal person would have. I didn’t do this on purpose, are you alright? Can you still see? Can you think? Can you count? How many fingers?!” Despite this… despite everything that he had come here to do tonight… he had still managed to hurt Logan with something as simple as opening a fucking door. Even Remus could open a door without managing to kill someone, even Remus could apologize in his own ways when he managed to upset Deceit. 

Even Remus… was better than him.   

His fingers gingerly ran over the red mark on Logan’s face, as if his touch alone could take such a mark away as if it had never existed in the first place. “I’m sorry,” He whispered, guilt and grief coloring his tone, “I’m so very sorry… for everything Lo. I… I’ve been a bad friend.”

Logan impassively stared back at him, his hooded eyes layered with a look of thick exhaustion that Roman’s words clearly weren’t getting through. He really looked… dead tired, with the dark circles seemingly etched under his eyes and his tie discarded on his bed and the first few buttons of his shirt haphazardously undone. His clothes were wrinkled in the tell-tale sign of someone who had tried to fall asleep, but had ultimately failed to do so and was now just staying up until morning. Honestly… Roman had never seen Logan look so tired, true he usually only ever saw Logan after he’d had some coffee and was out of his pajamas, but this… 

He’d never seen this before. 

“I said,” He began softly, just in case that Logan truly didn’t hear him. “I-”

Before he could so much as finish his sentence, Logan almost ruthlessly interrupted him. “I heard you the first time,” He blandly replied, sleep depravation stealing all of his tact and poise. “And I am choosing to believe that this is a hallucination due to my lack of sleep. Because even on a good day, there is no way that you would come to my room and be humble enough to apologize to me for anything.” Logan straightened his shirt a little bit, “So clearly following all logical explanations, you are either a hallucination… in which I should probably get some sleep. Or you are Deceit, in which case… go fuck yourself right off into Remus’ dicks and die for even thinking to try this on me.”  

Roman could only wince, as it turned out Logan with little to no sleep had less care and composure than Virgil did in those very same circumstances. Patton would turn as white as a ghost if he knew that Logan spouted off the profanity that he just had. However, all of that in its entirety paled in comparison to the fact that… despite everything, Logan thought that he knew for certain that this very occurrence happening right here and now was impossible. 

He thought the sheer idea of Roman coming to apologize could only be the works of dreams or manipulations… not the creative side himself.

“Logan…” He softly uttered as he took a step forward, “I am sorry Logan,” Roman hated the break in his voice as he softly repeated the other’s name, but clutching their dear logical side’s hands even tighter he forced his words past it as he stared into those hooded exhausted eyes of his friend. “I said that I was going to be better after Virgil, and that I was going to try harder not to push anyone else away with my actions and words. But I’ve been doing that to you, and I’m so so sorry. It won’t be happening again Lo, I pro-” 

“Don’t.” 

Came the single soft word as Logan’s hands easily slipped out of Roman’s grasp, leaving the creative side startled more than anything as he gaped openly back at the logical side. There was an unreadable expression on Logan’s face, and while he might not have known what such a look meant just the fire scorching the insides of Logan’s eyes made Roman’s stomach twist and turn the longer that he dared to look back. He’d only ever seen that fire once in Logan’s eyes, and he could remember that day as clearly as any of the others. It hadn’t been his fault, or really Patton’s or Virgil’s… but that fire that looked as if it could burn down forests had been there for a reason. 

“What?” He softly asked, only daring to take the smallest of steps forward only offering to reach out yet again. To offer the physical comfort to whatever had created that turmoil inside of Logan. “Why?”

A rough snort answered him before he even had a chance to recoil, “Roman,” Logan bared his teeth in a mockery of a smile, a hurt smile but a smile nonetheless. “I said it once… and I’ll say it again. You can’t make fun of Virgil anymore so you moved to me, so logically speaking if you don’t make fun of me who are going to go to next? I can take it. I can take all of it. But Patton can’t, Deceit and Remus won’t take it. And Virgil… Virgil won’t be able to handle it if you just go back to tormenting him like before, and that will make Patton angry at you. So…” Logan roughly rested his cheek against his clenched fist, this time not even bothering to look back at Roman as his eyes stared blankly ahead as if he was no more than a ghost and was seeing right through the creative side. “I can handle it… I did before and I can do it now. I can take it...” 

 Roman wanted to be sick. 

His stomach twisted and turned inside of him, to the point that Logan’s desk-side wastebasket overflowing with crumpled up notes was looking like the only place he could properly throw up in. What had he done? How on earth had he allowed this to get this bad? His nicknames were meant as jokes, especially towards Logan… but that didn’t negate the fact that.. that Logan had this outlook towards something like this. He wanted to hit himself, to stand in front of his brother and take whatever the other half of creativity could throw at him. What had he done? This was…

Bad. 

“You shouldn’t have to.” His words came out as no more than a whisper, and yet Logan’s head snapped up as Roman had just slapped him. Gingerly reaching forward, his hand shook and trembled until he cradled the curve of Logan’s cheek, his thumb slowly brushing over it as if wiping away imaginary tears. The words twisted and turned on his tongue, he needed to say this right… he needed to say this in a way that Logan would actually understand. “Logan… you shouldn’t have to deal with it, this isn’t a healthy mindset for you to have Lo… I don’t want to just keep hurting and hurting because I don’t have a filter. And you are hurting, you are… and there’s no shame in admitting that to anyone. I just…” Warmth burned at his eyes, and Roman internally cursed himself. “I want to help. I want to do better.” 

Just then in the slightest way possible, Logan’s bottom lip trembled as glassy eyes stared back at him.

Without even thinking about it, Roman seized the other side, pulling him into his chest and wrapping his arms so tightly around him that Logan would undoubtedly be able to feel his heart slamming against his ribcage. He cradled the back of Logan’s head as the other’s fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt, and as… as the wetness seeped into his shoulder. 

Logan.. Logan didn’t cry like anyone else he had come across, he had never really thought about it before but... He didn’t loudly weep like Patton did when watching a sad movie or being overcome by negative emotions, he didn’t shake and shiver as Virgil did in the throes of an anxiety attack, and he didn’t curl in on himself like Roman did when he tried to make himself as small as possible. He just stood absolutely still, the only evidence of his actions being the tears that were staining the creative side’s shirt and nothing more. His actions were so quiet… so precise, that it was impossible to be anything other than practiced.

Roman hated that, more than anything he had ever hated in his entire life. The mere image that it conjured, of Logan weeping to himself in the middle of the night trying to stay as quiet and emotionless as possible so that nobody could hear him. That he had practiced it, or even learned how to do it after being insulted one too many times… 

It tore at his insides unlike anything else.    

“I keep waiting for the shoe to drop,” At the sound of Logan’s hoarse voice Roman’s ears perked up a little bit, “Please just tell me, tell me when you’re going to be mean again. I don’t think that I can stand the waiting, so just… please.” 

Roman’s heart felt like it was tearing itself to shreds over the use of that one tiny little plea that escaped Logan’s lips, it hurt in ways that even the most worst battle on the feild could never compare to. He wanted to hold the other side tighter, to hold him so tight that Logan would never even question the fact whether Roman hated him or loved him, he wanted to wipe away those desperate pleas until there was nothing left but understanding, he… wished that he had never acted the way he did in the first place. But he had, he had hurt Virgil with his black and white views, he had hurt Patton by always assuming that he had nothing to offer but sunshine and fluff, and… he had hurt Logan by verbally throwing barbs at him even when it was obvious that Logan had long since grown tired of their little games. He wished that he had never hurt them in the ways that he did, but… he did, and there was no going back in time to fix that. 

He had hurt, and now he needed to mend. 

“Logan,” He whispered the other’s given name as if it were a promise, “I can’t promise that there will never be another insult. I’m not the best at changing, but… call me out when I do. I want to change and I am going to change, I will try my hardest to ensure that shoe never ever drops, I can’t promise that it will never happen. I will slip up, and wh.. if I do… Tell me. Don’t ever think that you just have to deal with it to save the others from being hurt, because… Because, I love you, Lo. I don’t want you being hurt either, it doesn’t matter what it is that I’ve done. If it’s hurt you… tell me, and we can figure something out. I promise, I swear it to you.”  

In response to his words, Logan only clung to him that much tighter, not saying a single word as he held onto the creative side like they were the last two people left alive in a desolate world. But Roman was alright with that, Logan didn’t need to say a single word to get his feelings across right now, because there was always the morning and there was always a later time they could discuss this. 

He wasn’t in a hurry, and yet…

“Can…” Once again he perked up at the sound of Logan’s scratchy voice, “Can you stay here? Just.. just so I can be sure in the morning that this wasn’t some hallucination or dream? I really don’t want this to be a dream.” And his heart, as well as all of his insides, turned to mush at the simple and yet so very delicate request coming from the logical side. He would have conqured mountains for anyone of his friends, and yet Logan’s only request was… that he stay and not leave. In compared to anything he could ever do for Logan… this was almost too simple. 

“Of course,” He merely whispered.

Leading the exhausted side over to the bed, he didn’t hesitate for a single second before crawling under the sheets with him. Curling his arms around Logan he felt the other side curl up tightly, resting his head against the creative side’s chest where his heart was once again firmly thumping against his ribs. In that moment he felt all too warm as Logan’s breath tickled his skin, but he didn’t say a word about it as he rested his cheek atop the logical side’s messy pile of hair listening to steady rise and fall of the other’s chest. He listened for as long as he could, resisting the heaviness of his own eyelids as well as his own exhaustion that tugged firmly at his mind. But eventually after being awake for as long he was, he was unable to keep up with the battle being waged. As his eyes slipped shut one last time finally allowing him to slip off into a well-deserved slumber. 

“Sleep,” He tiredly mumbled into Logan’s hair, pressing a tired kiss against those messy curly locks of his. Only offering a ghost of a smile at the faint snore coming from the dear logical side. “I’ll be here, for as long as you need me. I promise.”

[pxrxllel]

inner child trauma (11/12/20)

Today was filled with epiphanies, and I’m a mix of excited, at peace, and anxious about all the answers they’re providing.

Yesterday I watched a webinar on self-love and self-sabotaging in the context of romantic relationships, and here were some of the key points:

Who did you crave love and approval from the most as a child?

Your relationship with your parents and your needs being met/unmet subconsciously create emotional patterns that you take into your adult relationships. Therefore, your relationships are a reflection of how your needs were met by your parents.

When you have a wounded inner child, you are fixated on ensuring the outcome that you expect. The energy you take into the relationship is based on fear and control.

You’re trying to protect your wounded Inner Child by controlling the outcome, to avoid being hurt again.

I’ve taken the attachment styles quiz and for the most part, I come out as being anxious. I know I definitely tend to take on the role of the mother/therapist/fixer upper in my relationships (which has usually ended up with me becoming avoidant after a while due to resentment), but I’ve also had some where I didn’t feel the need to and I became clingy instead. So maybe that’s me yoyo-ing between the two, which I think the webinar described as being disorganised. 

I’m keenly aware that I have a rich history of needing external validation, because approval was never received from my parents. I was never emotionally applauded for anything I did - in fact, my parents nitpicked me to the point where I was made to feel innately wrong. It’s hard to not be angry about it, but it’s even worse to hold that against them because it won’t help me make progress. A large part of the validation was being called fat and ugly, which may be why I’ve been so reliant on compliments about my appearance all throughout my life, and even still since I’ve become objectively attractive. My father and some extended family always framed it as not being pretty enough to attract boys, which I’ve previously established as the key reason why I clung onto compliments and relationships and used sexual attention from men as a metric for self-worth. I’m just also starting to realise that perhaps it’s why I took sexual rejection from my previous relationship so personally - I was still unconvinced that he was attracted to me and the rejection only confirmed that I wasn’t desirable in that way (or that’s how my mind attributed it anyway). 

I think I made that realisation about my dependence on external validation in 2018/19. Since then, I’ve actively worked to disempower that, and I’ve largely been successful. I hardly ever use my appearance or compliments as a success metric anymore. I don’t fish for compliments or check for likes half as much as I used to. And it’s sort of been a self-fulfilling prophecy; the less I cared, the more they came and I genuinely feel OK about myself. I believe people now when they say nice things about me.

The point about fear and control is really interesting to me because looking back, I definitely was trying to be the ‘perfect’ girlfriend and looked for verbal validation (in the form of compliments, how much it seemed like he was into me) that I was doing a good job. I used to be so sensitive to any changes in the temperature of the relationship, and would melt down easily and take it personally if his demeanour cooled down even in the slightest. When I felt him slipping, I would hastily try to overcompensate out of fear for losing him, which I now know is a recipe for backfire. It’s also interesting because I’ve realised that I’m modelling ‘perfect girlfriend’ after my mother. My mother is a voice of reason/wisdom, emotional support cushion, physical support cushion, service-oriented, problem solver, domestic goddess, and all around superstar. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with those things, and not necessarily wrong for me to aspire to those things, but maybe it’s wrong for me to uphold that as the be all and end all of girlfriend material and then get annoyed when it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. 

Speaking of mirroring, it’s really interesting how accurate it is... a bit too much that it’s creepy. I never heeded it much before, and especially not when my therapist brought it up as something to flag, but I’ve come to the realisation that mine and Jarek’s relationship almost exactly mirrors my parents’ marriage. The long distance thing, and the fact that I feel like my parents aren’t each other’s soulmates. They care about each other a lot obviously, but I feel like my mom relies on my dad for practical reasons (kids and money - she’s much more comfortable playing the role of a mother than a wife) and my dad relies on her for emotional support and all the reasons listed above. Don’t get me wrong, they clearly enjoy each other’s company and get along, but I don’t think they have the X factor that I observe in other couples and what I think I look for. They don’t really have the natural, seamless, deep, almost magical affinity that I’ve been so lucky to experience a handful of times in my life. They don’t naturally understand each other. I think perhaps pragmatic marriages are more common or accepted in Asian cultures and worldviews, but for those of us that grew up in Western cultures, we see the romanticised version of these things and can’t help but want for more. It’s also interesting because I’ve always wondered what it would have been like if my parents weren’t in a long distance marriage/what it’ll be like when they retire and move in together. I always thought that maybe they would get sick of each other and argue more, but I can’t say for sure (plus, they’ve mellowed out a lot as they’ve aged). 

This relates to me and Jarek because I feel like our dynamic is really similar. I care about him so deeply and the way that it manifests is that I treat him the same way my mom treats my dad. I’m definitely more of a mom/therapist to him than I’d like to be - I’m sick of taking on the role of the fixer, although I think it’s neat to help people become self-aware of certain things or issues affecting them, I don’t really want to be the one holding their hand through their journey. And I think maybe the reason why I’m so stubborn about this relationship is that he represents what my dad is to my mom: Material security, stability, a comfortable life, America, all the boxes ticked. Even if he doesn’t understand me, and even if he doesn’t absolutely light me on fire, I’ve been accepting of it because I see how it works with my parents. And with them I know it can work, if I stay committed to the path. And I’ll be rewarded with my needs for security and safety and permanence met, which were not present for me emotionally as child - see how I’ve looped back to the beginning of this piece? And that’s also why I guess I feel so stable in this relationship: I know it well, I know how it goes and how it can end up, and I’m not grasping at fear or control to try to maintain the outcome because I already know what the outcome is. 

Jarek himself has a lot of childhood trauma too and his level of anxious attachment is far more severe than mine (I think I’m secure in some ways, too, esp ever since I actively worked on myself). His parents have a loveless marriage and he’s been emotionally neglected and felt unsafe in his family his whole life, so that’s something for him to work on and I honestly am not sure if we would be able to have a functional relationship if we were both still stuck in our ways.

I really truly think that because of this fixing issue I have, deep down I believe that until that’s cured, I can only be loved at arm’s length. Because if I get too close, I become too suffocating and overwhelming to be around because my fear kicks in and I start becoming controlling. So it would make sense then that the relationships I get tired of are the long distance ones and then everyone I do get (properly) close to in real life are the people I scare away with my intensity. This pattern makes total sense when taken into consideration with my childhood and how my parents are with each other. 

I would like to ask my mom these questions:

Do you think you and dad understand each other?

Why do you love him?

How do you think your marriage would be different if you weren’t long distance?

Have you ever wanted more from the marriage?

I’m quite proud of myself for coming to these conclusions without therapy, and I have a strong gut feeling I’m not wrong with any of these as it makes complete logical sense. And while it’s so good to have some clarity, context, explanations, and answers about all this, it doesn’t necessarily inform my next steps (although it can provide a guide). Knowing about these subconscious patterns and my emotional makeup means I can check myself according to my personal goals, but it doesn’t provide a template for my decision-making. I think that’s something I need to chew on more, as to where to go from here. I still need to figure out what I really want and what’s best for me and will make me happy. It’s hard because I don’t have a healthy relationship to look at and view as a model, so I don’t know what it should be like apart from relying on my gut and perceptions.

However, I accept that although the answers may be not what I want and I may have to make some tough decisions, it’s ultimately the right thing to do for my own wellbeing and happiness, and that of everyone else as well.

[boba-xing]

Captivating {Chapter 7}

Fem!Reader x Werewolf!Choi Seungcheol (SVT)

Warnings: swearing, dark themes/mentions of torture

Tagged: @suhappysuho @captain-brie @seekerbabygirl @moon8894 @yippee-kay-yay @sehunnies-hunnie96 @lovinggalaxies @brokenbutchocolate @amixoferrthang @onewoowonderboy​ @hhhhwww7 @9rachacha @sksk-x @haluim17 @jelly-fishy-babie @sakura-uji @psshwa​

-

You’re sitting on Seungcheol’s bed, a glass of water in your shaking hand, barely able to speak. Your mind is flooded with a mixture of fear and wonder of what is happening downstairs. Since Seungcheol carried your frozen frame upstairs a silence has passed over the house.

Said man is currently sitting opposite you, at the end of the bed, clearly concentrating hard on what he should say. After what feels like hours of waiting he finally speaks, “You said you were interested in mythology...vampires and stuff like that.”

He’s looking at you now, analysing your fearful expression as you nod.

“Well, vampires don’t exist, of course.” he nods, “But, werewolves, well, they d-”

“You’re telling me that was a werewolf?” you breathe,

“Y-yes, yes it was.” 

“In your living room?”

“It’s more complicated than that though.” he scratches the back of his neck, “You see, it’s kind of hard to say. I’m not sure if you’re going to believe me.”

You just stare at him.

“Well, me and the boys, we’re a pack...um, a pack of werewolves. We can turn into them, it’s just, well, that really.” He bites the inside of his cheek, blinking at you,

“What?”

“We’re werewolves.” he repeats, “I’m the leader of the pack, I’m an alpha and that’s why I have such authority over the others. And the blood on the shirt you saw on the first night you came here, that was from an attack...another pack.”

You look at him for a moment, taking in everything he’s saying and trying to understand what you think.

It’s bullshit.

You slam the glass down on the bedside table before storming out of the room and down the stairs, Seungcheol following close behind you. You turn around once you’re outside the door. “I’m not taking part in your sick fantasy! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Is this some kind of furry convention or something?”

“___, I swear to god I’m not making this stuff up! I’m being serious.” he says, clearly frustrated. 

Instead of answering him, you scurry down the driveway. You have absolutely no idea where you’re going to go considering you’re basically surrounded by woods with no transport. You pull at your hair, arm forcefully grabbed by Seungcheol to pull you back in his direction.

“For fucks sake, ___, I’m not playing. I know this is hard to believe, but don’t you feel bad for me? Even a little? I can’t help being like this. The boys can’t help being like this! This is just how we were born.” His eyes are wet with tears, “Please, just hear me out. We’re not going to hurt you, I’d never hurt you, you know that!”

“You’re crazy!” You rip your arm out of his grasp and rush away, legs carrying you as fast as you can down the driveway. You manage to pull your phone out, slowing down as you realise Seungcheol is no longer following you. You call Jihyun, your friend from work, and she kindly agrees to come pick you up.

You can feel Seungcheol's eyes on you as you wait for her to arrive and you already know he's going it'll only be a moment before he comes over.

And it is.

As he draws closer you see the tear stains on his cheek, and the determination on his face to pull himself together. "___, please listen to me. I would never lie to you. And I'm not crazy, even if I am, at least I care about you."

You look away from him.

"I know it's hard for you to understand, but I just want the best for you, I want you to be safe. I want you to be loved, and happy, and with me. I care about you, so much, please don't cut me off because you don't understand something." He begs.

Headlights drawing near catch your attention and you stand up as the car approaches, Jihyun's friendly face appearing in the window.

"Bye, Seungcheol." You say quietly as you get in the car.

---

“Please, please, let me go.” You beg, arms yanking at the handcuffs in hope you’ll somehow break free,

The dark figure in front of you just laughs, completely warped and unrecognisable.

“Please.” You cry, hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you pant, breathless, “I’ll do anything, whatever you want! What do you want from me? Please!”

“Maybe you should’ve listened to him.” the voice cackles,

“Listened to who?” You sob, letting your head fall down to face your shaking legs,

The voice doesn’t reply and instead you hear heavy footsteps drawing closer. You jump as a hand finds your neck, gripping it tight and squeezing, squeezing until all the air has left your lungs.

You wake up drenched in sweat, body shaking as you try to calm your breaths. Taking a moment to pull yourself together, you sit up and glance around the dark room. 

You don’t like the dark.

With a sigh you make you your way to the bathroom and wash your face with some reluctance. Although startling, the cold water clears your lungs and calms you down.

You draw yourself over to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water. You only take a few sips before placing it down on the counter, realising you forgot to close the curtains. A chill runs up your spine. Someone could easily be watching you right now.

You hesitantly make your way over to the window, glancing down at the street. There’s one car you recognise, and as your eyes meet the driver you realise he was already looking at you.

Slipping on a coat and shoes, you scurry down as fast as you can, rushing over to the car as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Joshua?” you ask,

“Get in.” He says after rolling down the window, “Not to go somewhere, just to talk.”

You nod, hopping in the car and shutting the door securely. “What are you doing here?”

“Watching.” he looks at you, somewhat serious, “In case anyone tries to get to you again.”

“Let me guess, Seungcheol sent you?”

“Well, yes, but I’d like to think I would’ve done it anyway.” a small smile forms on his face, “We’re friends.”

You nod, glancing down at your hands.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” he asks with a frown, “Not tired?”

“I slept terribly.”

“I don’t blame you, after tonight I wouldn’t sleep well either.”

You rest your head against the headrest.

“Listen.” He begins, “I know you don’t want to believe it, but the whole werewolf thing is true. And if you just gave us a chance, maybe you would realise we aren’t the man-eating monsters everyone makes us out to be.”

“Werewolves aren’t real.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you think they’re real or not, you like the fantasy, that’s why you drown yourself in fairytales and folklore. Sure, it’s not as scary, or as sweet, as it’s made out to be. But how can you run away from something you’ve dreamed of?”

“I watch horror films, that doesn’t mean I want to be in one.” You sigh,

“It’s not like a horror film.” he groans, “Sure we turn into big, dangerous wolves, but we’re still human. We’re still people.”

You look up at him.

“What is it you’re afraid of?”

“I don’t know any of you, like really know you. I’m supposed to be staying in a house with a bunch of men, who are apparently werewolves, with a...I guess...boyfriend? Who scares the living shit out of me when he gets mad and apparently knows exactly where I am all the time. It’s weird?! What part of that sounds appealing to you?” you explain, “And to add to that, I’m being stalked by some creep who drugs people close to me.”

“I know. But ___, just give us a chance, okay? Seungcheol really cares about you and he only wants you to be safe and happy. Come back home with me, and we can sort things out.” he pushes, knowing his next sentence would have him thoroughly beaten if Seungcheol knew he said it, “If you go a week and realise you don’t want to be around us, that’s fine, you can leave.”

This whole situation is crazy. You never signed up for this. You want to go back to your life before this, curled up in bed, single and eating pringles, but you know you can’t....and there’s a small spark of hope in your heart that maybe, just maybe this whole situation could work out? Maybe Seungcheol could be the one for you, and maybe this whole werewolf situation is real...but safe? You know you won’t be able live with yourself if you don’t follow this path. You need to know what happens.

“Please?”

“O-okay.” you nod, Joshua instantly beaming at you, 

“Thank you!” He laughs a little, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel,

“I’ll be back in a second, I’m gonna go and get my phone.” you say before moving swiftly out of the car.

You make it back up to your apartment, rushing to your bedroom to grab your handbag and phone before scurrying back out to Joshua’s car. Of course, you fail to notice the previously full glass of water you left on the counter is now empty, and your purse is home to a small, bitter note.