#I could make it for. Awhile. theoretically

[himblebo]

She’s married she’s married she’s married she’s married (to a man to a man to a man to a man)

[seat-safety-switch]

Based on the remarkable sales success of my powerful new business book, Sell Shit To Idiots, I've been swimming in marketing contracts. Thing is, I'm really expensive, mostly because I sell shit to rich idiots. That makes me feel guilty that I'm passing over a lot of poor idiots, who simply don't have the money for my time. Here's one for free: you can often sell more of something by making it bigger or smaller.

Cars have been getting bigger every year, and they're still selling. Theoretically, there should have been some point where we simply stopped buying them because they were the size of an elementary school gymnasium. Now they're high-school sized, and we're still going. How do you fight this trend? Tiny cars, which also sell pretty well to people who are a little weird and don't carry eight family members, sixteen dogs, and the contents of their house with them everywhere.

Bigger or smaller. This simple truism has been lost in our rush to business-school fads. Artificial "intelligence?" Who gives a shit? I dare you to find me a nerd-assed computer that is willing to say the plain truth: your product would sell better if it were much larger. Staple an "XL" on the end of the name, if you have to. Do you sell popcorn? Get a scientist to make you larger popcorn. I'm not talking a bigger bag, that's last-century talk. Bigger popcorn. Big enough that you get worried about herniating yourself when you grab a handful while watching Die Hard 2. Big enough that you could club a man with it. That shit will fly off the shelves, guaranteed. You probably want to buy it already.

Do you need additional evidence? Just take a look at cupcakes. In any major metropolitan area, there are several cupcake bakeries that exist entirely by making slightly smaller-than-normal cupcakes. What was their investment? Less. What do they charge? More. It's been awhile since I read an economics textbook, but I'm pretty sure that's how you get paid.

I can hear a lot of my haters in the back starting to get up, shuffling towards the door, unable to come up with a coherent counter-argument or even a reckless heckle in my direction. You run, you fucking cowards. And when you get home, you can write your apology letters to me with a comically large ball-point pen.

[sugarrushproductions]

Hear me out... What if Korra was Zuko and Katara's kid?

I know, I know, work with me on this Au.

What if Aang dies to the Red Lotus? Right, and early too. I know it would be sad and everything, I love him too. But imagine if Katara and Zuko get married a few months beforehand (I think reincarnation works where someone dies and they get reborn as someone who was born at that time.

Imagine that the Red Lotus is stirring up trouble because they want to lure the Avatar away from his friends or something of the like. They do want to have the world be chaos (It's been awhile since I watched TLOK, bear with me) and they want to just kill the Avatar. But at this point, maybe they don't know that they have to kill him while he's in the avatar state.

Katara is nine months pregnant so she can't make the final stand against The Red Lotus. Which she hates but Zuko calms her down by saying everything was going to be fine. Sokka insists that Zuko stay with her so he's there for the birth of his child. While there's a bit of an argument, Iroh steps in and says he'll stay with Katara (who wants him to go so there's more protection on Aang and because she can't go)

Spoiler, it wasn't. I don't know the details of this, but as Aang gets closer to death, Katara starts going into labor. It's a very tense scene that keeps cutting between the fight and the birth, ending with Aang falling and a baby's cry.

Most people hate how Korra was able to bend three elements right away, but what if she was a firebender and Earth bender?

Toph comes to visit the little firebending protogee and shows off some Earthbending moves. When Korra tries it herself, that's when she finds out that she can bend it. She's excited while everyone else is feeling bittersweet.

Katara is a waterbender and part of the water tribe. It could theoretically work. and they don't realize right away because she's naturally adapt at the firebending part.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 (𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 & 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝)

Word Count:

Disclaimer: Think about it. Write about it. Have hard thoughts. Do not take it seriously. None of this confirmation is confirmed and all theoretical. If you want to read more, check out my 'Hongjoong as your late bloomer bf' post.

Methodology: Traditional Astrology & Whole Sign

Hongjoong has dyed his hair back black and it's my favourite hair colour on him (we see it so rarely) and b/c he's my Ateez bias- I had to revamp his natal chart.

Overview:

Scorpio Sun (11th House)

Gemini Moon (6th House)

Capricorn Rising (Saturn-Ruled)

Sagittarius Mercury (12th House)

Scorpio Venus (11th House)

Virgo Mars (9th House)

Fuckboi Rating:

2/10

Out of all the members of Ateez, I'm inclined to believe that Hongjoong would least likely be a fuckboi because his Scorpio stellium and Moon in the 6th House indicates he's not a shallow man and craves soul-bonding, all-too consuming connection in relationships.

Take this next point very casually BUT as someone who has similar placements to him AND the overall energy I get from Hongjoong, I wouldn't be surprised if he identifies with being demi-sexual and he can't find pleasure in physical intimacy w/o an emotional connection.

This is emphasised with having a Virgo Mars because Earth Mars typically have a fluctuating sex drive so he can probably abstain for awhile and be okay with it.

Red & Green Flags:

Red:

Emotional and verbal dysregulation! His 12th House Mercury indicates difficulty expressing emotions in a calm and collected manner.

The Sagittarius influence heightens that trait by making his impulsive behaviour more erratic and could be seething for days before he randomly explodes over a simple issue.

PETTY! The 12th House Mercury and Scorpio placements indicate he could be the type to weaponize the silent treatment, going for hours without speaking to you until you figured out what you did wrong.

Green:

LOYAL TO THE BONE!!! You could go to hell and back and Hongjoong would hold your hand the entire time. These moments of 'difficulties' actually enhance Hongjoong's affection towards you because you trust him to see you at your most 'vulnerable'.

Committment!!! Yes, this should be a bare minimum but Hongjoong would be a faithful man and you would never have to worry about him cheating because he probably views cheating as a betrayal of trust.

Self-automony! By this I mean he values independence and wouldn't try to 'change' you as a person and would choose to accept your flaws and all.

Ideal Type...If He's Into Women:

It's interesting because his 5th House in Taurus is the complete opposite to his Scorpio Venus so his type could have polarising qualities.

Either they are boisterous and loud in public and shy and laid-back around him or vice versa. He likes a partner who shows a side of themselves that only Hongjoong can see.

Hongjoong is definitely an arse and legs man and would be attracted to the grunge but feminine archetype so lace dresses, stockings with Doc Martens etc.

I've noticed in fancalls he loves curly hair, whenever there's a fancall with an Atiny and they have curly hair, he'll always comment about how good their hair looks.

Dom, Sub Or Switch?

Hongjoong is one of the members that's more of a true 'switch' when it comes to power dynamics and yes, he is definitely more on the dominant side BUT not to far...I'd say 60% dominant, 40% submissive.

It's why whenever I scroll the ateez smut tags and see a Seongjoong fic where it's bottom!hwa...I laugh because it's actually the other way around.

Hongjoong is definitely more of a service/pleasure dom and his Gemini Moon and 11th House Venus makes him flexible in what he desires sexually in a partner.

He would enjoy having a bratty sub that he can put in place (kindly) like you see with Wooyoung.

He would also enjoy an obedient sub that completely adores and worships him.

No matter what, he needs to know that you're willing and trusting to put your entire body and soul in his hands.

Kinks...Just A Few Of Them:

Corruption!!!

Yes, I know this is very obvious BUT it's completely true because his Scorpio placements indicates he wants to OWN you as partner (consensual of course) and the thought of him being the FIRST to touch you, to mould you to his desires...it would just cause his heart to quicken and his mind to race with the most impure of thoughts.

This would also cater towards enjoying someone who might be nervous/slightly insecure around him, it would boost his ego to see your cheeks flush at him taking off your clothes or whispering something suggestive in your ear.

'You're so cute when you're nervous angel but don't worry, I'll take care of you because you're mine remember? And I always look after what's mine'.

Voyeurism...Kinda??

Hear me out and if someone knows the proper term for this...can you comment down below???

But with Hongjoong and his love for photography...he'd love to keep a personal scrapbook of all the photos he's taken of you after a steamy session of love-making.

This goes hand in hand with his corruption kink and his love for 'ruining' you- lipstick smeared, hair tousled, mascara running down your face, cheeks flushed.

I'm leaning towards voyeurism because he wouldn't show these photos to anyone, they would be for his own personal collection because he gets off on knowing that it's just HIM that can do this to you and see you this way.

'Fuck angel, spread your legs a bit more...I want to see it all drip out for me...these photos just want to make me dress you up and fuck you all over again'.

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @craxy-person @hologramhoneymoon @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen

@michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @justaaveragereader @ja3hwa

@lyramundana @saintfool @wolfakira @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @silentreaderthings @daddysspecialdollyworld @abby-grace @smilefordongil @wisejudgedragonhairdo @writhingwrecked @hongthoven

Please comment, share and thirst the hell out of this because this took WEEKS to finish!!!

May's fic will be out and published on the 31st.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Ok, LISTEN. I'm about half way through seven minuets in heaven pt.2, but because I'm working on it while watching season 2, I got SatoSugu on my mind. so...

Now Presenting...

A little SatoSugu themed supplementary material.

Ok, so let's start standard 

Suguru is a psychology major with a minor in musical performance 

Satoru is a theoretical physics major with no minor because "ew, minors."

Suguru joined the ABO frat because fraternity housing is wayyy fucking cheaper than living in the dorms. Plus, easy access to booze.

Gojo did it for the memes and cause his best friend was joining. 

Suguru is for sure an alcoholic and in denial about it

Gojo smoked weed once and won't shut up about it. He does take a weak ass edible every once in awhile to sleep though.

Gojos tolerance is absolutely shit. Two shots and three puffs in and he is gone!

Suguru on the other hand could drink an entire bottle of tequila and smoke 12 joints and only really be kinda buzzed. 

Suguru is definitely in denial about his bisexuality. Everything that he does with Gojo is just for female attention, ya know?

Especially when they're making out alone in their shared room. That's definitely for attention. Source:just trust me bro

Gojo is very comfortable in his pansexuality, and has been known to use "are you a frying pan? Cause you're so fucking hot" as a pickup line.

Ok, now for their background!

Suguru and Gojo actually grew up together, and are the closest anyone can get to childhood friends,

Which morphed into the well documented phenomenon of an all too intense friendship that blurs the line of friends and dating, where if one of them were the opposite gender they would totally be together, but because they’re both boys there using that as a shield to avoid confronting their identities beyond the default settings

They were each other's first kiss 💋 

Gojo actually had really kind and loving parents who were very supportive. 

Sugurus' mom died when he was young though, leaving him and his dad to struggle. His dad wasn't necessarily bad, but he did have to work constantly and therefore wasn't home often.

Gojo was naturally smart and school came very easy to him. Meanwhile, Suguru struggled a lot, specifically with anything math related. 

This led to Gojo, with his great grades and generational wealth, being able to go to basically any college he wanted to. 

He still decided to go to the local community College in the end, at least to get his gen-eds and the first few years of his major out of the way at a heavily discounted price.

Yea, Suguru had no such opportunity, his options were community College or to start working with his dad as a mechanic immediately. 

And while he's not opposed to the idea of working with his father, and will even work with him for some extra spending money in the summers, he really wanted to give the whole higher education thing a shot. 

He's very proud to be in his community College, as he's the first person in his family to even attempt to get a degree

Now, here's how they are in a relationship because you can't have just one.

These boys have historically shared everything: their hot wheels, their Xbox, their bed, and their women. You are no exception. Lucky you 💜💙

When it comes to the three of you together, you find the boys actually work extremely well as a unit.

Where one struggles, the other thrives. Gojo isn't great when it comes to emotional venting and stuff, always looking to "fix" it.

Suguru is better at actually listening and only offering advice when you ask. He’s always willing to just cuddle and listen.

Suguru is terrible to try and watch movies with, he gets bored so fast. Meanwhile Gojo is obsessed with movies. 

Gojos fixer attitude also comes in clutch whenever you need to get something done, but just do not have it in you to do it. Need to call a doctor but have phone anxiety? Gojos your man.

Suguru craves to be the primary partner for both you and Gojo. Yes he's aware this is irrational, no he's not sure what to do about it. All he knows is that he gets jealous when he sees you with Gojo, and has to find ways to cope.

To his credit, he's never made this a problem for anyone other than himself, and he is actively working on it. 

Gojo on the other hand fucking loves to see you and Suguru spending time together. Those are his two favorite people in the god damn world, aren't they cute?!

Sugurus love language is music. He'll make you playlists, old fashioned mix tapes, and has forced you to listen to vinyl with him. He's written songs about you too, though he's too shy to show them off.

Will play his guitar for you only when asked because he knows the optics of 'frat guy with a guitar' are not ideal.

Gojo shows his love by sharing his candy. Splitting a Kit Kat, giving you a handful of skittles, sharing a sleeve of oreos. If Gojo shares his sweets with you he wants to marry you.

They two of you bond by baking together. You buy new cute molds and cookware together and set up entire spreads based on one theme.

Suguru was probably the first one to be in your life: I.E. the one that you agreed to date before realizing (and agreeing to) the package deal.

But Gojo said I love you first. He feels everything at 100% and hides none of it.

He said it loudly and in front of the rest of the frat, showing you off to everyone. 

When Suguru said it for the first time though, it was quiet; whispered to you late at night while you were curled up in his arms.

Both of the boys are massive cuddle bugs!

You call them Sugubear and Satotoro. Gojo loves it and Suguru does too, but he pretends he doesn't. 

[velvetvexations]

It's been awhile since I elaborated on my gender feelings, and I've had a lot of further thoughts, so here's a post about that. It's kinna unfocused. I don't really have many segues between points, I'm just throwing stuff out there. Maybe I'll edit it into something more readable later.

I identify with both the words "male" and "woman" because I feel them both about equally, intertwined, and sex and gender are equally arbitrarily. Most trans women are female, and like, that's great for them, but I'm not. I'm a male and I'm happy to be a male. While the word "man" is completely alien to me and I have having it applied to me, I do feel a strong kinship with other queer males, particuarly trans men and gay cis men.

One could theoretically call me bisexual, but I don't really vibe with being bi. When I'm with someone who also identifies as male, I'm a gay male, and when I'm with someone who identifies as female, I'm a straight male. I feel very strongly about that, not because I have anything against bi people, who are all very lovely, but being a gay male and a straight male at once is very key to how I experience gender.

I actually feel very seen when TERFs talk about trans women being parodies of femininity, and feeling insulted by the appropriation of womanhood as a costume. Other trans women aren't anything like that, but actually, my womanhood is very much satirical, and people who are offended by that should be offended by me. I am mocking women and femininity when I put on a skirt and call myself a woman, at least to ones who find that insulting in the first place.

If you're a cis woman who isn't offended by the idea of someone AMAB wearing a skirt, there's nothing offensive about me, but for someone for whom that constitutes an insult, yes, good, that's what I'm going for! Be insulted! I am parodying you. Especially when I dress up in hyper-pink frilly sissy outfits. "Bleh, look at me, this is what a woman is lol!"

You'd think people who consider themselves gender abolitionists would be more onboard with the idea of parodying gender. But a lot of TRFs are also offended by me in the opposite direction, though they disguise it as parternalistic worry over my "self-hate."

I would probably be the most normie woman ever if I had been allowed to transition when I was younger, but I wasn't, and now I'm the pornsick male crossdresser some other women, both cis and trans, feel extistentially threatened by. And TRFs take that as me indulging in self-hate, when it's entirely love for who I am. I like being a pornsick male crossdresser and calling my womanhood fake and artificial. I'm a fake and artificial person.

You'd think people who talk about themselves as robot girls all the time would be on board with this, but they use robots as a tortured metaphor for their victimhood, whereas it's much more empowering for me, and tbh goes a lot harder.

The thing is, yes, I'm a pornsick male crossdresser who performs womanhood much the same way a clown performs at a circus, but there's nothing underneath that! A statue of a woman is a fake woman but that doesn't make the statue a man. I simply am the idea of artificial womanhood, stripped of what makes that cute and gender validating for people really into that doll kink universe. I'm built with the wrong parts, big and hairy, with a deep voice, and when people see me they see a fake woman, and that makes me kick my legs in the air because that's what I am. Still not a man. Just a fake woman.

That doesn't mean everyone with those traits is a fake woman. Gender is inherently fake and not real and has no rules. The same person could be a he/him or a she/her or a xi/xir and you would never know because it's just an internal thing. Only you can decide if you're a man or a woman or whatever, or if you're male or female or both or neither.

And my gender, in many ways, is the embodiment of the transmisogynistic caricature. If you're cool about very butch trans women my existence shouldn't be insulting to you and you just move on, but some trans women are really bothered by that, and like with cis women, it's like, okay lol, good. Be insulted. I am parodying all womanhood, you're included in that, you're welcome. I am a nexus of misogyny for people who want so badly to see misogyny in another person dressing and performing gender the wrong way. I am a living monument of spite towards anyone who wants to control the self-expression of others based on their own insecurities. And in the course of my being a gay clown who calls myself a woman, I will make gender into a balloon animal, and everyone else - the ones who accept and encourage freedom of self-expression in others, who know that nothing I do for myself has to have implications for them - will be delighted.

[smytherines]

Tasting History did an episode on wartime meals in WWII Russia and it got me thinking. So hear me out.

Let's say that Tatiana is born in 1937. In my own little headcanon that makes her seven years younger than Curt, and she would be 24 during the events of the show (or her parts in 1961 at least). It makes sense to me that she would be younger, having started as a spy much earlier in life.

This introduces the possibility of some interesting backstory here. I focus a lot on Owen in WWII era Britain because I've had a big interest in wartime/postwar Britain for a long time, so I just have a lot of that information in my brain already. I have to admit I do not know nearly as much about wartime U.S.S.R.

That being said, if we say that Tatiana was born in 1937, and if we say that she was from Leningrad, that would make her four years old (at the tender age of four she was an instrument of war) when the Nazis severed the last road to Leningrad, beginning the three-year-long Siege of Leningrad.

Leningrad, being a city, did not have victory gardens or livestock to sustain themselves, so food was almost entirely imported into the city. German troops had entirely cut off supply routes to the city. Roughly 630,000 people in Leningrad died of starvation from 1941 to 1944, and most of the deaths happened in the winter of 1941-1942

This introduces the possibility that maybe Tatiana was taken from her family, OR, perhaps worse for her-- she was given to the KGB, because the only other option her family had was watching her starve to death. What kind of effect would that have on adult Tatiana? Finding out that the family she thought she was stolen from had in fact given her up to keep her alive?

Originally, before Prisoner of my Past was in the show, Tatiana had a monologue there about having a lot of brothers (I think? I can't remember if that's from the commentary or a livestream though? Hopefully I have that right). So theoretically she was the youngest, and perhaps the only girl? The Soviets were already on strict rationing before the siege, with children getting the smallest rations, so even before the Siege she could have been starving. There's the possibility that, as horrifying as being a child assassin is, it may have saved her from starving to death?

I already had this picture saved in my phone for an Owen post that has been in my drafts for awhile, but here you can see Leningrad too, and there's just something that tickles my brain about the idea of both of those characters being just barely out of Nazi reach as children, and then working for BVN as adults (for their own purposes, but still)

[seri-tonin]

BSD Chapter 119 Analysis

Bookmarks, dimensions, minkowski spaces... what the fuck does it all mean?? This chapter dumped a whole lot of information on us without really answering any of our questions, so this is my attempt to hopefully break some of it down for you and explain my theories on it.

Everything under the cut cause I wrote a whole ass essay

The Tiger is a Bookmark?

This chapter started off strong by giving us what's probably one of the more confusing concepts in the series (which is saying a lot...). Fyodor finally gave some hints as to the true nature of the tiger, but he did it in the most cryptic way possible.

I have a few theories in mind for what he could've meant by this. My immediate thought ties back to the fact that the tiger is considered to be a "guide" to the book. It's something we've known for awhile, but from the beginning we've assumed that that means it's a guide to finding the book itself. However, comparing the tiger to a bookmark - something that helps you know where you are in a book - makes me think that the tiger might be a guide in the sense that it can navigate between the different worlds that we know exist within the book, such as the Beast universe.

The second theory that I came up with is that maybe the tiger functions as some sort of anchor. A bookmark holds your place in a book, so the tiger "holds" the world and keeps it where it's at. (This is honestly the weakest theory of the three but I figured I'd include it anyways)

And my friend (shout-out to @musical-ghostie) came up with the third theory, that Fyodor's breaking the fourth wall right now. When he refers to the tiger as the bookmark, he could be talking about the fact that he's the protagonist, the one we experience the story through, or (similar to my first theory) the audience's guide to this world. This would also explain why Fyodor was so disgusted by the fact that it's Atsushi who has the tiger ability. Atsushi, who's selfish and pathetic and nothing like how you'd imagine a typical protagonist to be (this is not a diss at all on Atsushi's character by the way, I love the fact that he's written like this). I'm particularly attached to this interpretation, because it would fit so well with my "Asagiri is a character and god and the creator of the book" theory, but I'm not gonna get into that here (maybe it'll get it's own post sometime).

This theory is also backed up by this panel where Fyodor describes the tiger as the "emotional hearth" of the world, which would make sense if he was referring to the fact that Atsushi, as the protagonist, is the main aspect of the story that keeps the audience emotionally invested - because we're the most connected to his emotions specifically.

Ame-no-gozen and Minkowski Space

Shout-out to Bungou Stray Dogs for being the only series that I love enough that I'm willing to research an advanced physics concept just to be able to understand the story a bit better.

In this chapter, Fyodor gives us this explanation on how the divine being functions the way it does:

That's... pretty confusing, isn't it? So, I did a little bit of research into what a Minkowski space is, and here's my understanding: it's essentially a theoretical plane where time functions the same as space. Basically, the divine being is able to go wherever it wants in time, forward and backwards, instead of being stuck only ever going forward in time at the same consistent rate like the rest of us. (Disclaimer: I have never taken a physics class in my life, so my interpretation of what a Minkowski space is could be way off. Feel free to tell me in the notes if you know!!)

That said, I don't think the extent of ame-no-gozen's power is just being able to freely move through space and time, but I think it's also able to manipulate the (metaphorical) shape that space and time take. Fyodor even specifically refers to it as manipulating space in this panel:

He only refers to space in this panel, but I think it's safe to assume that the being has the same power over time, since it's able to interact with time in the same way that it interacts with space.

Parallels to Chapter 4

I'm sure we all recognized the reference to Akutagawa's iconic "Fear death. Fear slaughter" speech he gives when he's first introduced. This of course made me go back and reread chapter four, where he gives the original speech, and I noticed another parallel that I hadn't thought of immediately.

In chapter four, Akutagawa tells Atsushi in no uncertain terms that it is his fault that his colleagues, Junichiro and Naomi, are presumably dead. He explains to him that they were targeted because of the fact that Atsushi possesses the power of the tiger, and therefore he was the one who brought suffering to them.

Now some of what Fyodor said in the newest chapter is starting to sound really familiar... In this chapter, Fyodor tells Atsushi almost the exact same thing. That his friends are presumably dead and it's his fault, because he has the power of the tiger and could've prevented it.

I would be willing to chalk this up to just both being villains targeting Atsushi's insecurities and not really a parallel, if it weren't for the fact that chapter four gets much more explicitly referenced later in this chapter with the whole "fear death, fear slaughter" thing. Chapter four being referenced multiple times makes me believe it's intentional. I have a feeling that either Atsushi or Akutagawa (or both) will soon have a moment that really displays how much they've grown since their first meeting in chapter four, which is why it's being referenced now.

Other Thoughts + Conclusion

I'm sure if you're reading this, you were probably hoping I'd have something to say about Akutagawa's appearance, but honestly I can't say I have anything that hasn't been said by someone else already. Currently I'm leaning towards the theory that he's still under Bram's influence to some extent. Although, I also like the possibility that's been pointed out that maybe he does actually recognize Atsushi, but is just being dramatic and metaphorical and trying to tell him that he's not acting like the Atsushi he's come to know. I don't think this one is super likely, but it would be in-character for Akutagawa for sure.

Uhh but yeah, I think that's all the thoughts I have right now, but I'd love it if anyone wants to discuss some of this with me! Thank you so much for reading all this if you got this far, I hope it makes enough sense...

[urbanqhoul]

I've been curious for awhile, are there any specific rules for character design when it comes to characters native to REM and characters who aren't but are still there?

for example, can people from REM have human faces/heads or are they restricted to objects and non-human things? and could they have an animal head that isn't from a plushie?

I'm going to be making a little reff sheet sorta of general Dream tripper design rules in the near future but in general they tend to lean towards object heads :3 thou theoretically I could imagine someone having a humanish head if they were a made to look like a doll or something

[jasper-pagan-witch]

Theoretical Candle Communication Spell

So part of what we're starting to do in the Jasper's Beans Discord is to play these games where we come up with different magical solutions or ideas based on our crafts for a central problem. I decided that the one I came up with earlier this evening would be fun to toss to the dash and let people chew on it for fun. Feel free to analyze, dissect, review, or gnaw on as you please!

The prompt:

You have a good friend who you know enjoys your company but you haven't seen them in awhile and they haven't been responsive to texting or other ways of communicating for a few months. You know that this is something that happens when they are v busy with life.

What are some magical solutions you could do to have more consistent communication with them?

My response was as follows (please note that it took all of 15 minutes for me to put this together):

I've always said that communication is the first thing that fails. Just...generally.

So, for me, this would be an air-aligned spell first and foremost. This is because air is associated with the intellectual realm in my paradigm, and communication is always easiest when you're thinking straight.

My next step would be determining my angle. Would I want to do something involving one of my pop culture sources? If I went the Pokemon route, I could do Psychic or Flying types as the basis. With MTG, Blue might be of the most use to me. But I could also go about it without pop culture influences and dig through my correspondences binder until I found something that interested me.

Let's say, for this hypothetical, that I wanted to cast a one and done spell. How about a candle? For opening communication, I'd probably pick a lovely yellow or a light blue, since I have so many of those and they're decently friendly colors in addition to being associated with air (again, in my paradigm at least). And I have fake craft feathers, so I can use that in some way to bring in more of the air element.

Since most of my magic is done using my own energy, I don't feel the need to get super specific with the taglock, but I guess I could use whatever it is that I communicate with this person on and pull up their profile or contact information on that platform. Finally, I guess I'd throw in a sigil I could make to open up communication. Draw it into the candle or burn it along with the candle wick, I dunno, haven't gotten that far.

So I'd get everything together, draw the sigil where needed, light up the candle, use the craft feathers to waft the smoke vaguely in the direction of my taglock, and cap off the spell by leaving them a text like "Been thinking about you! Hope you're doing alright!"

[purrgiri]

a rwby theory about the more unique grimm in salem army

I believe that every single one of these grimm was salem own attempt to permanently get rid of ozma (but obviously non of that worked)

Now obviously oz is not really easy to get rid off you can't destroy his soul with raw physical force he will just go to a new vessel

And trapping him in some sort of cell for any lengthy period of time is a fools errand for multiple reasons namely

Weakened or not oz is still one of the most powerful entities in the planet there is not a cell in existence that Salem can make that will keep him locked up for any significant lengths of time

Even if she by some miracle makes a cell he can't escape he can always just end his current life and go somewhere else

So salem had to get creative and she obviously never had the privilege of jinn or any of the resources oz has so she just did what she does best and used the grimm

Let's start with the obvious example

The apathy

Oh oz keeps breaking out of his cell?

Good luck escaping with your willpower getting sapped away

But this obviously didn't work because apathy even in bulk took awhile to have an effect on huntman having a crisis of faith on someone like oz it's a mild irritation

Especially earlier on when he had more hope

And even if it does work he'd just starve to death

Now im grouping the chill and Geists because i believe these two are part of the same "product line" of grimm so to speak with their similar abilities of possession

I believe the Geists are the prototype to the chill being able to possess non living objects such as rocks dust or trees very useful but obviously they can't do junk to oz since they can't effect living entities

The chill is the "definitive" version of the Geists losing the raw power from the ability to control objects in exchange for being able to possess living entities

But they failed as well since while it's never showcased in the main show as the chill never makes an appearance in the main continuity outside the fairytale it does make an appearance in the dc comics where it gets overpowered by love

Seeing as there is no reason for it to not be the case in canon i think it's fair to presume it still has that weakness

The nightmare definitely one of the more obvious ones here oz can't really fight his way out of her dungeon or end his life if he's asleep right?

Somewhat wrong

This is definitely one of the ones that could work but there are a few variables during ice queendom team RBY and jaune are able to enter weiss dream and fight the nightmare so it's not out of the question oz host or oz himself could also fight and eject the nightmare

And there is a trend with grimm that effect the mind thats says they can be fought off with raw will so this might apply for the nightmare to

There is also the possibility there is nothing to be done about the aura drain part which would just kill oz allowing him to escape to another host

And now finally

The beetle

Okay now hear me out

I know the beetle is a bit of a weirder choice since it's used for the maidens but it did split amber soul so it appears to have soul sucking abilities

Soul sucking abilities that could possibly be used to rip oz out of his body and either put him inside a person of her choice to serve as a container or maybe even absorb him to use as a tool

Now it's purely theoretical since there is no evidence to suggest that incapacitating oz was the beetle original purpose but we can still draw some hypothetical conclusions on why it won't work and why we don't see salem use this even when she had oscar at her non existent mercy

During volume 5 and 6 we see that oz can and will take control of his host if he feels the need to so sticking him in the body of an underling might just end badly since she's potentially giving oz an even stronger body to fight his way out with

And trying to absorb him herself is way to risky since she's risking him assimilating her which would be bad for more reasons then i can be bothered to list

So thoughts on this idea?

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Death Song with Darling Slithersong(Romantic)

Decided to put some of the requests I have in a randomizer again until I stop having writer's block for the old ones I'm doing rn. So, have this :)

Keep in mind this is Dragon/Dragon content, so you're both a type of dragon. Short as Dragon/Dragon content is odd for me to write in some cases?

Yandere! Death Song with Slithersong! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Dragon/Dragon pairing, Stalking, Just dragon courting, Dubious relationship, Trapping, Brainwashing through song.

As I am doing research on the dragon types let's talk about them before we start.

The Death Song is a tropical dragon that mimics butterflies in beauty.

The Death Song, like in its name, also has a siren cry that lures other dragons to it. This is usually to attract food.

These dragons are usually solitary in nature and hunt other dragons by trapping them in an amber-like substance.

These dragons can mimic and sing but struggle to use stealth. Despite this their slender bodies make them somewhat agile.

Their solitary attitude is because any dragon that gets too close is usually made a meal.

Now let's talk Slithersong, the dragon you are in this concept.

Slithersong are a close relative species to the Death Song.

Slithersong also use siren calls to lure in prey and use the same amber-like substance to trap said prey.

There's even some cases where Slithersong can blind prey.

Slithersong are smaller than Death Songs, which makes them faster and more agile.

This would give the Slithersong an advantage over a Death Song.

Slithersong are also solitary dragons due to eating other dragons.

Both dragons are very similar and difficult to train.

It would be... interesting if one tried to court the other.

Imagine if the Death Song thought you were trying to court it with your song which results in the larger dragon trying to court you.

You were just trying to hunt.

Your species is very similar to each other but it would take awhile before an obsession could happen.

Both types are solitary so it would take a long time.

Although I can see the dynamic of this as a Slithersong minding their own business while a Death Song tries to court them.

You just want to hunt and may even try to hunt the Death Song itself but the Death Song always seems to know when to back off.

At some point you may begin to tolerate the other dragon if fighting with it won't work.

The two species could theoretically be compatible with each other due to the similarities they share.

It would be a relationship similar to Night Furies and Light Furies.

The Death Song would no doubt try to hunt for you in an attempt to impress and feed you.

Why hunt for yourself? They can hunt for you...

They even brought dragons coated in amber for you!

Honestly, the fact your song makes prey delusional doesn't help.

The Death Song is only encouraged by your song and loves to hear it.

This situation is probably the only case of two dragons of your species being seen with each other.

It's even stranger that that the Death Song is sharing desperate courting behavior towards you.

Honestly, if the Death Song wanted to keep their Slitherwing! darling in place they may just use amber to trap you, too.

The Death Song would make sure their darling couldn't escape and would trap them in a makeshift nest.

You'd be fed and taken care of by the Death Song... even if you try to nip at them and growl.

If you got too worked up the Death Song would simply sing you a song.

The Death Song trills many songs towards you.

They're mostly calming songs and courting songs.

At night the larger dragon curls around you, amber coating your feet and wings.

To others it may seem like you're prey.

You feel like prey...

But not in the way you think.

[edenfenixblogs]

hope you dont mind me sending an ask being a total stranger and all, i just don't wanna bother op of that post

fd does bring up the fact kendrick is a BHI/hotep briefly, specifically that that's great ammo for a beef because to most people the bhi/hoteps are considered weird and embarrassing and would be insanely easy to make fun of in a beef (at least according to most black people I've spoken with & fd himself), but also he believes that drake probably doesn't even really grasp what they are because he's distanced himself in such a specific way from the black community (and arguably jewish community as well, though i think fd only kinda alludes to it) in a really specific way- BUT, that it was an evolution, he started out in a very odd cultural position where he was ostracized for simultaneously recieving antiblackness from white & jewish communities he was a part of but also seen as "not black enough" by many black people (and it's still a bullshit take people will have)

that desire to fit in is what led him down a shitty road, but also drake already clearly had some clearly terrible behaviors already. he talks about how kendrick was being unhinged too and isnt necessarily one to talk

overall the video is more about the music history behind it and the connection between it and the current culture, and just kinda what led to this climate that could want the downfall of drake

i dont know if i agree on drake not knowing about BHIs, though i could believe he doesnt with how he really weirdly constantly codeswitches even wrt jewishness, but imho fd doesnt like to touch on areas where he really cannot speak to the experience, he's said as much in the past, so he only speaks very briefly of the black perspective of how hoteps are goofy as hell

sorry for rambling, im really into music, think fd did the video well although i dont agree with all his opinions, and just wanted to articulate it correctly that it's really more about the musical climate than anything else :)

I don’t mind this message at all!!! In fact, I’m so grateful for it!

This is all really good info. I would believe that Drake didn’t know about BHI, tbh. I didn’t know about it until a couple years ago when Ice Cube (who I grew up loving 😭😭😭) did some heinous shit awhile ago and I was like “Why did my man come for us Jews what the fuck??”

And then a mutual told me about BHI and I looked up. And found a whole new group of people who hate, dehumanize and erase us. 🙃🙃🙃🙃

I mean, theoretically, maybe Drake may have had more exposure to it as a Black and Jewish man. His mere existence makes him more of a target for people invested in that kind of ideology. But also, I do and always have very much gotten the sense that he was ostracized from much of the black community for his Jewishness and mixed race reasons—not due any specific issue in the black community, but just because people are always dicks to people who don’t neatly fit into social categories in expected ways. I can also see how being a Black rapper in white-passing Jewish circles could have been very uncomfortable if those white-passing Jews were inclined to tokenize or exclude him. So it’s possible to me that his bilateral isolation might have insulated him from BHI discourse.

Tbh I don’t think code switching is weird in almost any circumstance. It’s just a development in reaction to your environment. I have a really multiethnic and multicultural family and code switch all the time. I think if it seems weird when Drake does it, it might just be because he has not developed (and tbh should never have had to develop) a strong sense of what “version” of Drake he is supposed to be. So when he tries to read the room and meet expectations, be just does it badly. But it’s not his fault in the long run. It is fault of people who expect him to fit those expectations in the first place.

I respect the hell outta fd for staying in his lane and only speaking on what he understands. And with this context I’m glad he brings up BHI at all. Because it *is* relevant. Being Black and Jewish ANYWHERE are both identities that permeate every single element of someone’s lived experience. When dealing with a beef between people where one is Black and Jewish and the other is Black and attempts to usurp Jewishness by re-categorizing it historically and racially…the cultural friction at play is absolutely relevant.

I’m sure it isn’t the whole story or even likely to be the most important factor in their beef. But it is definitely A factor and it wouldn’t have been right to leave it undressed. Especially when the beef took off as antisemitism more broadly was on the rise due to current events.

I am glad to know that most people still see BHI as a goody ideology. There’s still wayyy too many people who believe it, though. I’ve lived with the consequences of their hatred for white-passing Jews for several months now and it is…unpleasant. But mostly it’s heartbreaking. I grew up listening to Ice Cube. I used to cite James Baldwin. I adored Alice Walker. And finding out that they hate me one by one was devastating. But the worst part has been OTHER BHI folks using their words to justify their own hatred of me and all Jews like me while simultaneously making me feel like I was harming them in some way just by existing.

I want to be clear that I do not and never have believed that most black people believe BHI bullshit. I’m only saying that it was a shock to me the sheer number of people who DO believe it and how vehemently they hold that belief and direct that vehement *emotion* directly at me. It’s really good for me to know that people who aren’t Jewish are publicly speaking out against BHI bullshit. It restores a lot of hope for me.

So ok. I’m back on the “maybe I’ll watch in a little bit when I’m less raw” train. I also love music, even though I’m certainly not up to date on it. So I’m intrigued to know more about the musical landscape of what’s going on.

Thanks again!

[spookybugboy]

Hey been meaning to make this post on here for awhile but with a theoretical mavbo love child they'd have to deal with the pressure of being the kid of the champion and parkour god and while I feel like evbo would encourage them to not let that make them feel bad about themselves and that they don't have to live up to that pressure I think emf would feel that they do have to live up to that pressure because he's always had insane pressure on his shoulders thanks to being a master most of his life unlike evbo (not to saying that evbos life was better on the noob level If anything the pro level would be best) but imagine emf not understanding that putting pressure on his kid could have bad effects and evbo having to tell him that's not healthy only for him to realize "Oh my parents were not good parents..."

[ilikedyourablogithere]

In greek mythology Athena has a theoretical younger brother

according to the story Zeus was informed by his first wife Metis of the prophecy that she would give birth to first a daughter Athena and then a son who would inherent the rule of the world. And so while Metis was pregnant with Athena Zeus aka the current ruler of the world, ate her to prevent that destiny from happening after awhile Athena came out of him and now Metis just exist inside him and as long as she's inside him (pause?) she can't get preggers by him again and have a son

but that's just mythology

In digimon Athena aka Mervamon

does have a brother. Iguneetmon

therefore that destiny could be made a reality

I wonder if the Digimon creators ever thought about that when they wrote this into Xros Wars

It would make for an interesting piece of story and lore

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #62

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 4, The Hitchhiker, shades

...

Sideburns Check

The above image is brightened.

The sideburns are short, like they were at the start of the minisode. I think the "short" sideburns are the "supernatural" reading as a reversal to the present day for most of the scenes in this minisode.

The space is the bookshop.

The bookshop gave longer sideburns earlier.

The context of the story within the minisode has changed. These two are not visibly planning another outing for the night. Crowley is making no claim to pretend to be a human in this scene or the near future. There is not a direct reference to him being a demon, but it is implied when Aziraphale talks to Crowley about how evil he tries to paint himself as.

The previous scene had everyone aware that Crowley is a demon.

Fire is present due to candles in the space. Fire was present earlier in the church before and after the bombing and surrounding the Bentley during the drive to the theater. The sideburns were shorter in those scenes too.

Both Aziraphale and Crowley sit down for the entire scene while Crowley keeps his hat on the whole time too.

I mainly think it's the context of the minisode's story, character presence, and dialogue that are affecting the length.

I'm noting the other things because that seems to be what the story wants noticed.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

Crowley has his hat on for the whole scene, so the more saturated streak of red hair is not visible.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The sideburns are short. Otherwise, the hat makes things such that no other changes are visible.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

The scene starts with Crowley's right thumb in a close-up view of holding the photograph. He asks the question, "How?" His touch with at least two other digits is confirmed in the next cut.

Crowley has his back to a chair.

He's also touching a glass of wine, but there are only two fingertips visible with the touch. That, theoretically, helps him not earn point for such a touch.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is bringing his glass closer and then lowers to receive credit for a drink. He has four fingertips visible, but only two are visibly touching the glass.

Not only that, he might actually have his back to a chair!

He has a mysterious vendetta against backs of chairs in this story.

Crowley sets the picture down and ends up touching the table.

Aziraphale picks up the photograph. He asks a question as well but nullifies it by answering it.

He repeats the magic words we went over earlier in Post #57 (hook).

By dropping the picture and having to pick it up again, Aziraphale at least manages to get his back off the chair for awhile. That could still be something for mysterious vendetta against the backs of chairs.

Crowley has a question with, "Shall we retire the act?"

Aziraphale touches the wine bottle to pour Crowley more wine.

The camera cuts away to Aziraphale just as Crowley starts to drink, then returns to Crowley as he finishes. So, his act of drinking is not fully shown on camera.

The two clink their glasses together, and then they both are visibly drinking on camera to close out the whole scene.

...

For paying attention to the pockets...

The most noticeable pocket to me happens when Aziraphale bends down to pick up the picture. The camera work shows that there are two sets of lights that resemble candles on the wall that are visually above and pocketed between Aziraphale and Crowley. Further pocketed between them are the four actual candles on the table.

That makes for 10 visibly lit "candles".

Anything special about the number ten? Well, with the Earthly Objects game in mind, it's the number Crowley said "ten" twice before he shot out lightning in episode 1. That was part of an extensive sequence with game tutorials and an implication that the scene preceding it was edited to hide whatever originally happened. Coincidentally, I go over it in Post #10 of this series.

Other than that, if Crowley wants Overhead Lights, he might get some, but there are multiple lamps behind him messing with me on such a guess. The one that seems most likely to give him Overhead Lights is the one furthest to his left with two lights on it. Those are the ones that most qualify as to to his left and above his left ear in some cuts.

...

(For reference: The Rainbow Connection Part 4: The Door Trick and The Door Catch)

I said this minisode had clues for The Door Catch, so let's look for clues about The Door Catch.

The main clue this scene gives is the clue for Gray in the findable poem that's a quatrain.

This clue is the most obvious of the bunch, helping to lead to the others, because the dialogue is almost spelling it out.

The dialogue spoken says, "shades of gray," further referring to both dark shades and light shades.

I've guessed the line in the poem goes, "Gray shades."

Within The Door Trick, there are three cuts of Crowley from his front. In the second cut, there is a girl who walks by Crowley that I've named Yawning Yellow. Her jacket is a light yellow, and she is wearing gray pants. So, as the theory goes, the gray shades her yellow to a proper yellow for the Rainbow Connection.

The colors "black and white" are also in the dialogue given the context of the "gray shades." That's three of the four shades from the poem.

But what about brown? Is brown in the dialogue? No, but "nutmeg" is. The shades I find with a Google search vary, but many of those variations are indeed brown.

For more on "nutmeg" within the magic words, please see Post #57 (hook).

Even though shoes aren't visible this time, Aziraphale's reflection is. It can be found behind him. In The Door Catch, his reflection is part of what helps catch the Metatron's reflection where it ends up on the relevant cut.

Another thing stated in the dialogue is "blur the edges." There's plenty of blurs in the game, so I'll mention two things that come to mind when thinking about this particular bit of dialogue and my own play in the game.

When Aziraphale is linked into the Pocket Chain, my theory goes that's based on the bag strap of a particular human linking up with another human pocket user. When that link happens, the bag strap is a little blurry.

More broadly, blurred edges are quite relevant to figuring out the Tied Hands exist. Then the Tied Hands are surprisingly important to figuring out the more complex mechanics linking The Door Trick and The Door Catch because of the Rainbow Connection.

...

Story Commentary

With the glasses clinking together and the drinking visibly on screen, I find this ending to the last minisode quite fitting with my theory about the shared home loan in the present day to form a special connection.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme