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oneoftheprettynerds · 4 years

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Just My Type: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 2 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Darkside

Main Masterlist

A/N: This chapter is 2K words more than the last chapter and I’ve second guessed every single line in this one. This story is getting a lot of traction guys and I’m equal parts happy and scared. Thank you for the nice comments, they do encourage me. Also I’m just ranting feel free to skip this note haha. Your support in any form: like, comment or reblog is appreciated greatly. Also you can dm if you want to be friends, God knows I need those. Hopefully, this chap was worth the wait. Also, I made a poster for this on the main masterlist so check that out, it might be foreshadowing dome plot.

Warning: Eventual Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks later.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can't ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can't get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Chapter 2: Just My Type

It had almost been a week since the incident and you had barely gotten a wink of sleep. When you drove back to your house that night, Steve surprisingly didn’t argue as you had expected. After that friend of his whispered something in his ears, you only assumed he was needed elsewhere and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. They escorted you to your car and Steve thanked you with a strained smile, words genuine but eyes calculating. You didn’t even wonder what went inside his head. You were thankful for the peace and quiet of your own car, content to just get out of the area and into your humble abode.

After you put the already asleep Grace to bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of her room. You just sat on the floor beside the bed, hand intertwined with hers as you rested your head beside her tummy on the mattress.

Your adrenaline wore off and your limbs ached as your thoughts finally settled into place, the gravity of the catastrophe a few hours prior hitting you. Tears made their way down your cheeks as you realized that you both could have very well died tonight.

One bullet could have sealed each of your lives and you were basically defenseless had Steve not saved you against the creeping assaulter. You couldn’t commend yourself for even defending yourself against one attacker, the guilt of killing someone harboring in your tired head. Your quiet whimpers eventually wore you out, while Grace’s shallow breaths lulled you to sleep.

You didn’t manage to sleep for long though, every time your eyes closed, horrific images flashed in your mind. A blood curdling scream here, heaps of dead bodies there, with distant exploding sounds all around. You could see men clad in black holding guns to Grace’s head and whensoever you woke up, you just wondered how much more creative your mind could get, making these visuals so realistic.

When 8 AM rolled in, you didn’t wake Grace up even though it was Monday and you had work. You got up, changed into a long tee after a shower and called your office and then her daycare. You knew you would have a hard time going back to your normal life, to become trusting enough to leave her alone.

Your assumption about yourself was right. You took almost the entire week off, which your boss generously allowed you to after hearing your traumatic experience, which soon made the city news headlines. All your colleagues checked on you, almost once in the five day break you took, and sweetly enough offered to bring you anything you needed.

It was kind of them, but none of them could bring you what your heart genuinely craved: peace and assurance that you and Grace would be safe.

Even though Saturdays were off, you did go to work to see what you missed and where to start on again. You went in because you knew that the random spurt of resolution you got in the bathroom to collect your life, wouldn’t last.

To ease back into your normal life, you gathered your guts, called a babysitter and left home. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave Grace at the daycare just yet. One of your good friends offered to come in to the office and help you, even on the weekend and you were quite grateful to him.

When you both decided to take lunch in the nearby dining place, you both got to talking, the conversation obviously originating from ‘How have you been?’ and ‘Is Grace okay?’. You reminisced about how you used a photobooth to hide, grotesquely and uncomfortably chuckling when you remembered Sarah calling you her mom and how her dad saved you all.

You deliberately left the part where you killed someone and Steve shot someone too. You hadn’t come to terms with it yet and you stiffly restricted your mind whenever it tried to go down that lane.

He sensed how the conversation was becoming tense and distressing for you and briskly redirected the topic.

“I hope the dad was hot though?” He wiggled his eyes creepily and you snorted at his vulgarity, light for the first time in days.

“He was easy on the eyes; I will admit that.” You played along, recalling your girlfriends and how you used to ogle people.

“Don’t be a homewrecker though, I don’t support cheating.” He said nonchalantly, checking his phone as a notification bell rang off.

“He’s a widower.”

His eyes snapped up and met yours as his head tilted in confusion. “That’s a strange fact to know about someone you met for a few minutes.”

Steve’s even stranger comment about his dead wife popped in your mind and before you could stop yourself, you blurted that out as well.

“He even said and I quote, ‘She deserved what she got.’” He put his phone down, weirdly amused.

“Ooh Creepy! Do you think he is one of those husbands who kill their wives and bury them in the backyard? The podcasts always say that the psychopaths are visually handsome and charming. And his statement was quite vague and spooky.” He continued munching, and you felt that now Aiden was really paying attention unlike before.

“Steve did have a gun while searching for Sarah, come to think of it.” You drank your tea and awaited his response. What you did not expect was his eyes to widen and worry to cloud his features.

“Um Widower Steve with a toddler Sarah? At the place where The Vices attacked?” He mumbled, grabbing his phone and doing God knows what on it. Your eyebrows furrowed and before you could ask him what was up with his antics, he resumed.

“This is a long shot but I really hope your Steve didn’t look like this.” He positioned the phone in your vision, and you could already tell it was Steve by the sapphire blue of his eyes piercing through the screen into your soul. The picture was a month or two old, his hair was much longer when you met him than in the photo.

“This is him.” Your eyes met Aiden’s and worry visibly took over his features as his forehead creased and jaw tense.

He looked around the restaurant, finding it empty in the afternoon. He leaned and whispered, “This Steve of yours is dangerous.”

You interrupted Aiden, even though you already knew Steve was, the sight of his armed men still fresh in your head, and inquired, “Why do you say so?”

“It’s just like the fictional stories we hear from our parents, except here, in this city of ours, every myth holds true. There are really powerful men, untouchable by law, who reign the city silently and live luxuriously. Every shady, under the table deal you’ve heard of, transpires. Illegal trades, fraud schemes and bounty hunters are not fictional, they exist here. These men kill whatever hinders them and trust me, you don’t want to be the deer caught in their Jaguar’s headlights.”

Ice froze in your veins again, resembling the fear you felt that night but now because of your deemed ‘savior’. You convinced yourself that you had not wronged him in any way, instead had saved his daughter’s life.

“Are you in contact with him? If you are, distance yourself cleverly, don't block him immediately.”

“No, we just parted ways near my car, he thanked me for Sarah and was called away. It’s almost been a week and he hasn’t reached out if that’s what you mean. We didn’t exchange contacts and I don’t think I even told him my full name.” You explained yourself as if you were on the witness stand in court, trying to convince yourself more than Aiden.

“Pray that he doesn’t remember you more than that, if at all. I’m being totally honest here in telling you this, I’m genuinely worried for you and Grace. You are smart but he is powerful. He has unimaginable resources and if you become more than a speck of dust on his windshield, you are screwed. There is no exaggeration here.” You took his words to your heart and swore to be careful, if not for yourself then for Grace.

The rest of the day went by and you found yourself dwelling on and worrying about Aiden’s words. At least he put it out there as it was. Heeding his advice, you did google Steve on your phone, finally finding him in the topmost news headline when you added ‘Buck’ in the search bar as well.

‘With 38 lawsuits pending against businessman Steve Rogers, the filers have lost all hope in prosecuting him. All cases are being drawn out for indefinite periods of time by the Chief Justice Bruce……’

Aiden was right.

Businessmen was code for illegal mob heads. Cases being stretched on meant he was, in fact, invincible, at least to the common man’s fists.

You flickered through several titles, each one more surprising than the last. He was believed to be involved in the carnival attack, alleged for three hit and run cases that he didn’t lose but the witnesses swore they saw him driving and was also rumored to have brought in quintals of drugs just last week, but the packets just evaporated into thin air and there was no proof of their existence in the first place even on incessant searching.

Every crime of his made you shudder and you mentally thanked Aiden for pulling you out of your oblivion. Your mind raced and heart palpated and you cursed yourself for being so drastically unaware even after living here for almost four years. Technically speaking, Steve and you were even, him saving your life and you saving his daughter’s. No logical reason came to your mind for him contacting you ever.

You wished as Aiden said and assured yourself that your paths would never cross again, Steve not having reached out in a week, so hopefully never again.

That thought went out the window when you reached home to find a box awaiting you. Hannah, the babysitter you had called, informed you it came around 5 in the evening and was exclusively to be opened by you today.

Your mind raced as you paid the babysitter, your hands sweaty as you tried not to think about the gift and its sender. There was an apparently clear answer to who mailed it but you refused to accept that, courtesy of Aiden.

The box was of the height of Grace, it was black with red hearts painted across it; some red roses also sparingly adorned it. You opened the lid and found tons of red tissues and a multi-flower bouquet adorned with mostly red roses and a few purple and pink flowers.

Because of your frequent gardening in your backyard, you knew all the flowers’ meanings. To sum it all up, red flowers, especially roses were used for courting someone. Pink meant admiration, purple for beauty and you knew the ‘violet’ flowers were for loyalty.

As your nerves increased tenfold, you willed yourself to get it over with and empty out the box first, ignoring the little card in your bouquet, saving the ‘best’ for last. You find a mini bouquet inside but unlike yours, it had chocolates of every kind. You did read its card and cringed when it was for Grace, bothered not by the deed but by the doer.

Further inside were some animal plushies, face masks, perfumes, scented body lotions and shampoos. Your head hurt thinking about the ‘single mother care package’ delivered to you by someone you refused to acknowledge.

As Grace sat in her playpen occupied, you dared to pick your card and read its message, your heart beating unrealistically fast for someone who refused to accept the cruciality of her situation.

I can’t thank you enough in this lifetime for saving my little princess. The gift of your help is more than anything money could ever buy for me. Please accept this invitation of mine for dinner tomorrow night, 7PM at La Bonne Nuit, as a symbol of my sincere gratitude for everything you’ve done. I’ll gets the kids covered and pick you up, you just be ready and look as amazing you always do. Sincerely, Steve Rogers

You stilled as you read it over and over again.

An invitation, your ass. Even in writing his authority portrayed, there was no question and hope for you coming, he just stated that you’d come. Looking pretty as always? You just met him once, in the middle of a calamity, covered in dirt and blood.

All the red roses and gifts screamed his romantic interest but you illusioned yourself into thinking they meant gratitude. You wouldn’t be able to digest it all otherwise.

Knowing what you knew now about Steve, you understood there was no denying the dinner tomorrow. You had to get out of his clutches and distance yourself, but as Aiden had so rightfully said, cleverly.

That night you laid in bed mulling over your next course of actions. You had called the gift shop to return the unwarranted presents you received but they said it was non refundable and anonymous to trace. You bitterly snorted in their face, they put a card with Steve’s name on it for heaven’s sake!

You didn’t flinch even when you realized you never gave Steve your address, neither for mailing stuff nor for picking you up. There was no number given to call him and thank or to call him and deny. The bastard had planned it all out, and you felt like you were driving in a one way lane, going deeper into the tunnel. Somewhere among your all-relentless fretting, you managed to finally sleep.

When the doorbell rang, your eyebrows furrowed. It was just 6 PM and you weren’t expecting anybody else except for Steve. You had already begun getting ready, having developed a habit of keeping an extra margin of time now having a toddler. You still had to assemble Grace’s essential backpack, fill it with her meds and bottles.

While still putting on your diamond earring, you made your way to the door, unlocking it to find a redhead grinning at you. Before you could interact with her, a small body clung to your legs and you looked down to find the azure eyed kid that put you in this mess, Sarah, smiling up at you.

“Mama! You look pwetty!” She looked up in awe and now aware that she didn’t have a mother, you were even more so coerced into accepting this title rather than telling the kid that 'you are semi orphaned'.

“I’m Wanda, Sarah’s nanny. Mr. Rogers told me to pick her friend, Grace, up for the night?” So, this was what Steve meant. Bringing Sarah was proof enough of her legitimacy, but behind her you saw ‘Buck’ salute you from the driver’s seat of the black car. One of these days, you needed to learn his real name.

You invited Wanda inside and Sarah ran to Grace immediately, grabbing and whining while asking Grace to give her some popcorn she was munching on, her fist generously full.

In your open plan kitchen, you grabbed two plastic bowls, filled them with each with the tub of popcorn that sat in the microwave and handed each toddler one, fortunately quietening Sarah. Sarah obeyed Grace, in first thanking you, their ‘mama’ and then following her to her open playpen.

You faced Wanda again who sat on a barstool and kept on beaming. If your annoyance at her amusement showed, she sure didn’t let it falter the smile.

“Mr. Rogers told me you’d worry about your daughter, but I assure you she’d be in more than capable hands.” All you could focus on was how self-reassured she was. “I’ve served him for almost two years, the last family I served, I was there for 8 years and before them, I was employed for 3. I know the general bedtime and snacks, all I need from you is information about her allergies.”

You nodded and told her about Grace, her meds and what all you packed. When you got to know that her family owned the daycare Grace went to, you were finally somewhat convinced. After seeing them off, it was about fifteen minutes later, that the devil disguised in Prada showed up at your door.

You grabbed your purse and your keys. Wiping your sweaty palms on your dress, you opened the door. Steve stood there, a smirk lodging on his handsome face. His blue, three-piece suit perfectly paired with his cerulean eyes was impressive to say the least.

He was dressed to kill, and it appeared as if you were his first victim.

As your eyes took him in from top to bottom, his did the same lazily, taking their time, resting at certain places for longer period than others.

“You look stunning.”

You knew you did. You wore one of your more expensive dresses when you found out La Bonne Nuit to be one of the few seven-star hotels in the country. In hindsight, if you’d have dressed worse, maybe he’d have left you alone.

“Thank you.”

“Shall we?” He offered you his hand and you obliged with your palm in his. Your other hand pulled the doorknob while you stepped out, all alarms already set-in place. He waited while you locked and put the keys in and when you were done, with a soft kiss along your knuckles, he pulled you along.

The act surprised you, your stomach turning and your gut wrenching and you wondered if you’d be able to process the food after all, with your upset digestive system.

Like a proper gentleman, he opened the door for you and when you settled, he took his position at the driver’s seat. The silence was painful for you, your overthinking finally filling ideas in your head that you avoided contemplating about all day, focusing on Grace.

He was relaxed though; his humming was proof enough.

Mid way through, your thoughts were rudely interrupted when a hand housed itself on your knee. You glanced to find Steve’s palm slightly rubbing your knee. If it was meant to be assuring, you certainly didn’t feel like it.

You frowned and looked up to Steve who still had the arrogant smirk on his face, eyes straight ahead on the road, giving no indication of his inappropriate touching.

You wanted to swat his hand away but a brainwave dashed through your head and a disturbing thought made you halt, that whether he carried guns to restaurants as well, since carnivals were no big deal.

You ignored his hand and continued looking outside, pretending to ignore it as well as he did. Your scowl was a huge giveaway though.

You didn’t know that, but when your eyes found their way out, his finally rested on your face, the smirk growing even more.

Thankfully, apart from the incongruous touching, the dinner went okay-ish. The food and wine were impeccable, perfect even, the restaurant on the hotel’s top floors was so picturesque. You tried to savor your one-time experience there, knowing you’d no way be able to come back there.

Well, you tried to relish as much as you could while your mind still sat there, wary of the human in front of you. If you’d ignore your journey here, Steve was nothing short of a true gentleman, often making you wonder if you had imagined his hand on you.

This ‘friendly’ date you were having was probably one of the best you have had, he had left no expenses. He appeared to be interested in your work, about your childhood and about Grace’s but you swiftly avoided his questions about her father. He was growing a tad bit too comfortable for your liking and you still refused to entertain the idea that this was a ‘date’ date.

When you were finally onto dessert, the last course of your meal, your table was shadowed by the broad frame of a brunette and his date. He clapped Steve’s shoulder and Steve rose to hug him, you awkwardly smiled.

“It’s been far too long since you’ve been here, Cap. Why don’t you and your gorgeous date stop by my penthouse for a bit? We could finally go over the papers you sent me, in person?” He winked, they discussed something more and then went away, his date bowing and trailing after him as well.

Steve claimed his seat again, and finally told you about the interrupter. “That was my good friend, Tony Stark, always in a hurry. I’ll introduce you to him when we meet him later.”

“I think I’ll be heading home; you need not worry about my introduction, I hardly think we’ll ever run into each other again.” His eyes narrowed and you clarified, “Me and Mr. Stark, I meant.”

That’s good, don’t associate yourself with more of his kind.

“He was so kind in inviting you though, it would be rude to refuse.”

“It’s already late, Steve. And I’ve never left Grace alone for a night yet. What if she’s antsy? What if she is bothered? What if she feels unsafe? She's only used to very few people, and after last week, I-” You had started the sentence hoping to use Grace as an excuse but every word of yours succeeded in making you more apprehensive.

The carnival night flashed in your mind, along with the nightmares and you started panicking even more. Your hands clammy, your dessert spoon fell in your lap as sought your phone in your purse, hoping to call Wanda for an update. You felt like a terrible mother, who left her child with a stranger, only a week after she suffered trauma, just to go on a date with a mobster.

Steve reached across the table and grabbed your fidgety hands and as you wriggled to get your hands free, he softly called your name. Voice stern but vocals gentle. Your blurry eyes snapped to meet his while he guided you to breathe deeply, in and out.

His firm hold convinced you to listen to him, you’d never free yourself of them otherwise.

When you had calmed a bit, he withdrew his hands and fetched his phone. Your thoughts slowed down, and you wondered if anyone here was judging you. Your little scene, mercifully, went unnoticed by the other affluent people dining here.

Steve handed you his phone where four colored frames rested, the screen showing you Grace and Sarah cuddled in a frilly, pink four poster where Wanda sat too, her lips moving.

The feed was live and the screen muted, both the toddlers’ eyes fluttering close slowly, on the bridge of sleep.

You handed the phone back to Steve and drank your water while he rubbed circles on the back of one of your hands. You never freaked out like you did right now, always collected and never giving into anxiety. What had happened to you?

Well, In your defense, you had never experienced a disaster either.

“The kids are safe; I’m never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

Your mind did catch the plural in his statement but you promised yourself you would not let it get that far and continued drinking your water, emptying the entire glass.

“The HD image you just saw was by cameras Tony recently developed. His technology is amazing, I’ll take you to his lab sometime.” You appreciated his attempt to redirect the topic but you also focused on how tech-savvy his friends were as well.

You hummed and agreed, trying to be ambiguous with your answer.

When you finished your dessert, you hoped he’d forget about his ‘friend’ Tony but to no avail.

“His penthouse is two floors above. He owns this hotel as well in case you didn’t notice.” He led you to the elevator as you recalled the Starks Group logo you saw earlier sometime.

Some AI named Jarvis opened the elevator doors for you in the living room of Tony’s penthouse. It was even more magnificent than the restaurant earlier, the place illuminated by several hues of different colours. Steve chuckled and strung you along, introducing you to a ginger-head named Pepper, who was Tony’s date earlier and went to search for his acquaintance.

She offered you wine but you politely declined, opting for water instead. She brought your glass to you from the extravagant kitchen and you both sat on the barstool there instead of the living room. Too anxious to say the wrong thing, you stayed quiet until her voice filled the deafening silence.

“So, Steve almost never brings dates around. You two serious?” She questioned, leaning towards you, waiting for some gossip, no doubt.

“Oh no! We aren’t dating. He just invited me for a friendly dinner. We merely met the other week.” You deliberately left out the part where there was bombing by crime families and attack on the common man.

“Honey, in the mob life, you don’t just introduce random people to the fam.”

Oh, she wasn’t being shy about the whole mob ordeal. It seemed weird to hear it from her, since you and Steve hadn’t used the word yet. Maybe he figured you already knew considering the circumstances you met in or how famous he was.

“We really aren’t romantically involved. This dinner was just a gesture of gratitude if I’m being truthful.”

She chuckled, as if you were a kid making stories and quizzed, “Gratitude for what?”

You trapped yourself into that one. You didn’t know how to answer her and your brain downright blanked. Surprisingly,, Steve came to your rescue and two voices interposed your conversation.

Steve called your name and as you turned to the men, he continued, “She’s the one who saved Sarah the other night. You know the story, Wilson probably got it printed.”

“Impressive, really. Hey, I’m Tony and I see you’ve already met Pepper, my fiancée.” He shook your hand and kissed your knuckles, much like Steve did earlier in the day. You bowed, smiled and mumbled a ‘nice to meet you as well’. They escorted you to the elevator and Tony continued.

“Well, it’s not everyday Steve brings brave and extraordinarily attractive women around. Welcome to the family, sweetie. She’s a keeper, Cap.” He winked while saying the last sentence and before you could correct him, Steve ushered you inside the elevator, bro-hugging him. As the doors closed, Pepper winked at you from behind Tony and a shudder ran through you.

Okay you had to make it clear, get on the same page.

As the elevator music filled the silence, you started, “Steve, look we aren’t-”, “I served in the army, that’s why Tony calls me Cap, short for captain.” And crudely got interrupted.

“I never wanted to get into the army, I thought people were fools to sacrifice the one life they got. But I went to make my mother’s dream a reality, I really loved her, you know? Sarah is named after her, my mother.”

His voice broke at the end and as much as you wanted to redirect onto your former topic, you couldn’t. This amiability of yours would be the death of you.

“She died alone in her bed; I was dispatched too far away to even make it back for her funeral.” He mumbled but you heard him clear as a sunny day, and he leaned back onto the wall for support while you awkwardly rubbed his shoulder to return the support he provided earlier during your mental breakdown.

He closed his eyes and gathered himself, taking deep breaths. As the elevator dinged, his eyes opened and he gave you a strained smile.

The car ride to his mansion was painfully silent, his mind too sidetracked to focus on harassing you again. With all that you went through today, you almost forgot about that.

His mansion was enormous, twenty guards stood outside and even more patrolled the lawn. He took you inside his house, the interior even more detailed and scenic than Tony’s temporary residence.

You just concentrated on swiftly getting Grace and Uber-ing back. As Steve showed you earlier, Grace and Sarah hugged and slept and it was a meticulous task to untangle their limbs without waking either of them up andnd get Grace with her back-pack. You thanked Wanda on the way out, hoping to avoid Steve but somehow he stood outside before you, leaning on his sleek black car. He opened the door for you before you could refuse the ride. You settled with Grace in the backseat itself, trying to be smart.

He just summoned one of his guards to drive and sat alongside you in the back. You didn’t let the annoyance at his clinginess show though. You just focused on Grace who drooled over your shoulder.

Hopefully, there won’t be any point of exposure to him ever again, your circles didn’t match, both social and professional. Your Venn diagrams didn’t overlap anywhere. This should be reason enough to avoid meeting ever again.

He didn’t try anything even this ride around. You doubted it was hardly because of the toddler or because of the driver. He did as he pleased, if he wanted to he could very well grope you. Luckily, he wasn't in the mood.

When you reached your dwelling, you stepped out hastily, thanking him in a whisper. You fumbled to get your keys out, but since everything you held slowed you down, he caught up with you without even trying.

He took and held Grace’s bag while you drew the keys out, Grace still on your hip. He handed you the bag back, “So this is it, I guess?”

“Yeah, tonight was a total delight. Thanks for the dinner and everything, really.” You put up your best façade, hoping to convince him.

“It was, thanks to you. The company matters the most.”

You awkwardly chuckled and you sensed him leaning in, his eyes flickering shut. Your eyes closed as you turned your head to avoid him, so that his lips would peck your cheek.

They never came.

Your eyes opened to find his and he chuckled, leaning in once again swiftly, catching you off guard this time. He didn’t meet your lips though, he kissed the corner of your mouth, lips overlapping for a fraction of skin.

“In due time, baby.” He stepped back and strolled to his car leisurely, content in his own world.

You opened your door and slammed it shut, the peck feeling wrong on so many levels. It felt more sensual than a lover’s kiss, leaving room for intimacy and longing.

Your thoughts ran a hundred kilometers an hour, the most absurd but nauseatingly true being, this was a date and it was not your last encounter.

Steve smirked outside in his car, the dinner an absolute success in his opinion. Tonight just made him feel that you both were more than compatible for each other. You needing him during your mental breakdown, him relaxing under your shy touch, Tony’s approval, not that important though, and your anxiety for Grace was the best part, because he, more often than he’d like to admit, fussed about Sarah the same way, agonizing and fretting her well being.

A text lit up his black screen and his grin widened even more if possible.

‘The Stark cameras are up and working, Sir.’

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ice-cream-writes-stuff · 4 years

Text

¤°~Driving With The Stars~°¤

It was a simple Saturday in Twisted Wonderland. No school, no friends over. Just a relaxing day with nothing to do. (Y/N) lays on a couch in the lounge room. Mindlessly scrolling through Magicam, looking at posts her friends or classmates post.

A knock was heard on the Ramschakle door. (Y/N) had a gut feeling it was Crowley at the door. "I'm not gonna get up..." She drawls out lazily as her head snuggles into the pillows. "Really?"

"Well, I am glad I let myself in then." Mr. Crowley says as he stood in the middle of lounge room. "Gah!" The female screamed as she falls off the couch. "Ow..." She mumbles out in pain.

(Y/N) fixes her spot on the floor so she could be sitting crossed legged.

"Hi, Headmaster Crowley..." (Y/N) said with a lackluster tone. "What brings you here?" The female asked, waiting for him to give her and Yuu a task that he didn't want to do himself. "Well, you see (Y/N), there seems to be a problem out on the Ramshackle lawn," Crowley said with a aggressive tone.

"Wha-! Hold on, I need to check this out." Hurriedly getting up from her spot, she speed walks to the door. Opening the door, she takes a few cautious steps outside. Looking around to see if anything looked suspicious.

"Headmaster... There's nothing here- *gasp*!"

Right in front of Ramshackle was a car. A. Car. Didn't those only exist in her and Yuu's world?! (Y/N) runs up to the machine and starts to look at it up close.

"No way!! How is this even! When! How, what?!" The dorm leader screams loudly, her eyes practically turning into stars.

Mr. Crowley appears next to the star-struck girl. "You see, (Y/N). I've had this old car for a long time. I never really used it often, but I got a new car a few days back. So I decided to let you and Yuu to have my old one."

"How gracious am I!" The old crow states loudly. (Y/N) slowly turns her body to face Crowley. They run to the Headmaster, before Crowley could react. (Y/N) engulfed him into a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." (Y/N) says softly, not wanting to yell in his ear drums. Headmaster Crowley gently pats her back. The female student realased Mr. Crowley from her bear hug. Turning her attention to car once more. "So, do me or Yuu need a licence to use this thing or- and he's gone..."

(Y/N) gives a tired sigh and look at the cars. "Does this thing use keys?"

Stuffing her hands in her pocket, she felt something odd. Taking the small item out with confusion. Her previous questioning face turns into a fond look. A simple grey key was attached to keychain, along with a little tag attached to it. Spelling out Ramshackle in pretty hand writing.

Taking yet another look at the vehicle, (Y/N) sees that it looked rather similar to some of the cars in her world. It wasn't fancy or high tech, it was just a plain white, medium sized car. It was ordinary, simple, clean looking too. Maybe a little used, but (Y/N) could care less.

"Hmm, welp. I guess Headmaster Crowley wouldn't mind if I test this bad boy out!"

"Okay, let's see inside... Oh, it's just like the cars back home! Thank God!" Breathing out a sigh of relief, she puts the key in the ignition. The car roared as it started to turn on.

"Okay, hands on the wheel. Foot on the pedals and breaks. Alright, I should take a few test drives!"

______________________________________________

(Y/N) steps out of the car, shaking a bit. She couldn't tell if it was out of fear or excitement. Either way, she had to hold on to the roof of the car for support. The phone buzzed from her pocket. Taking it out with a wobbly hand, she clicks the notification.

Cater had posted something about a race that would be held tonight outside of school and how he was gonna record everything. (Y/N) reads over the post and takes a screen-cap on where the race was gonna be held. "Maybe I can test out my skills," she jokes dryly to herself. Thanking who-ever-above for not crashing into stuff and getting into a accident.

(Y/N) stiffly walks back to Ramshackle after parking the car inside the Ramschakle gates. Once inside her dorm, the ghosts start to question where she was. "Take a look outside, there's your answer." The three ghosts poke their heads outside and see the piece of machinery.

"It's me and Yuu's first car, so if you guys posses it or let Grim near it. Things are not gonna be pretty." (Y/N) said as her voice turned from joyful to serious. The three ghosts fearfully agree and congratulate her on the new car. Even if it was probably older than their dead souls.

She heads upstairs to her/Yuu and Grims room. The little furball slept on the covers while Yuu was reading a book, "I am the king of magic..zzz." Grim says in his sleep as he snores a bit. (Y/N) snickers at her animal friend and goes through her closet.

Only a few items of clothing would be good to wear outside. The clothes she had on were for lazy time, not outing wear. 'I gotta get a little more clothes, most of these outfits are for school.' (Y/N) held back a wince when she saw the outfit she wore for her "wedding day" yet smiled at her old fairy gala clothes. Beans day, dang, so much paint to wash out, it was pretty fun though!

'Where.. Wait, I think this would look nice..? Maybe.' (Y/N) was not a fashionista when it came to clothes. But, she could try today. "Hmm, ah-ha! This should be good enough." She picks up her items to wear, then remembers Yuu and Grim. Hoping that fire cat was still asleep, (Y/N) whispers to Yuu about what happened earlier this morning. Yuu gets up from his spot on the bed and goes over to the window to see the car, while (Y/N) quickly dashes to bathroom.

_____________________________________________

A young man steps out of his car. It looked nice and sleek, only with a few bits of dirt on the wheels. The car was definitely new looking. This driver of the car could be said the same. He wore nice clothes that looked like they couldn't be affordable.

His eyes were narrow and he had a cunning smirk.

He laughs once his opponent cries out in frustration. Cussing out few words as they bang their head against the drivers wheel. The male teen leans against his car and asks if anyone wanted to challenge him. Know one stepped up. The guys tsks and decided to take a break from driving, he'd rather wait until someone had enough guts to face him.

A simple white car drives up to the area. Parking against some of the other vehicles, teens look up from their phones and conversations to see the newcomer. A young male steps out, he bore red hair and had a dumb smirk on his face. While another boy stepped out the car after him, he had dark blue hair and started to argue quietly with the light red head. Soon other males get out of the car.

It almost looked like a clown car at how many people could fit in it. The "ring leaders", were the last one's to get out of the car.

(Y/N) stares at everything with subtle excitement as she and her friends group together. "(Y/N), I'm still surprised you've drove us here. I didn't think vehicles existed in your world." Deuce tells the female with a curious look. Unaware of her uneasy smile she had after he said that.

"Yeah, there are cars and motorbikes in my world. But.. They are a little different I guess, and I learned to drive in my old world once I got older." (Y/N) explained as she and her friends find a good spot to stand in. "Deuce, I think you should be more surprised that the Headmaster gave her a car."

"I never thought the cheapskate would just give you his car," Ace says with a sigh. "His old, used car." Epel clarified. "Right. What Epel said, or anything related to vehicles in general."

"Headmaster Crowley gave it to us. So until we find our way home. We can use it to travel besides mirrors." Yuu said softly, remembering that when Crowley finds a way for them to return home. There not gonna have these moments anymore.

The group of first years went quiet after his words. Jack decideds to lighten up the mood by pointing out that one of the party guests were getting ready to race. They all look up at the big hill as the race started. The nice looking car was in the lead, while the other was behind. The race ended and the nice car won.

Murmers from other party members were heard. Saying, "dang, Bryan is such a jerk." Or, "he always gloats about his driving skill." Sebek overhears this and looks at the winning driver.

They were a young human teen, male. He reeked of arrogance and pride. Someone not even worthy of his time, he was nothing like Lord Mallues and his elegance! (Y/N) sees Sebek turn his nose slightly at the winner. She couldn't blame him though, the winner was a real jerk about winning.

Deuce and Epel walk over to the winners car with amazement written all over their faces.

Not caring about the loud owner of the vehicle. "So cool.." Epel whispers as the car seemed to shine a bit. "It looks really new, how did this guy afford it?" Epel was so caught up in sleekness of the car that he was about to lean on it.

"HEY! Get your grubby hands away from my car!"

"Eh!" The two first years say in sync, startled from the outburst. Epel and Deuce straighten up as the winner of the race approached them. "What makes you think you guys can just go up and touch my ride?!!" "We didn't me too!"

Deuce said, trying to defend himself and Epel. (Y/N) takes notice of the situation and steps in front of her friends. "Woah, wait a second. They just apologized, there's no need for you to yell at them." The female says, trying to control the situation.

The once angry male was now looking up and down (Y/N), his frown turns into a suave smile. "Look hon, I'm just saying that those weirdos shouldn't have touched what they probably would never own." Bryan chuckles out, placing a hand on his hip. "Besides, it's not like they can even enter the race without a car. So why are they even here, their practically useless."

(Y/N) could feel her two friends seething from behind her. The female felt Yuu hold her wrist to calm her, she was just as ticked off as Deuce and Epel were. "I'll race you!" The female said without thinking at all. Not that she could give a damn at this moment.

A few gasps and "oh's" were heard after she challenged. Bryan smirks wickedly, "alright. The first one who makes it down the mountain wins. Though, I doubt your going to." (Y/N) scoffed at Bryan, he then gets in his car and drives up the hill.

Dirt and dust fills the air once he left. Coughing up dirt, (Y/N) burps and glares at the spot where the car was. "That guy is going down." The dorm leader said, not seeing Yuu their head.

Both cars had their engines on, parked side by side on the road on top of the hill. The sound of crickets was drowned out by the cars purring as a few fireflies flew about. The moon gleaming brightly in the dark sky. (Y/N) grips her driving wheel in agitation.

A scowl on her lips as she clenched her teeth. Bryan looks over at her from his car window. He grins, "maybe once this race is over. Why don't you and I go for a little cruising down the street. How's that~"

(Y/N) stomach turns as this dude was trying to mess with her. "You wish..!" (Y/N) barks at him, her anger rising like a volcano. A timer rings out in the air, and Bryan immediately revs his car engine and takes off. "Shoot!"

(Y/N) clamps down her foot on the pedal because of her late start. Rushes of white and blue could be seen going down the mountain. (Y/N)'s fellow first years watch from below. "Do you think she's gonna be okay?" Ace said, Jack hesitantly nods.

"She should be fine as long as she doesn't crash.." The six first years could only worry for (Y/N)'s safety. Said girl on the other hand could care less. Turning her wheel to the side, she pulls her shift gear and sloppily turns left and right. The two drivers were neck and neck yet (Y/N) passed him.

She smirks and keeps her eyes on the road. But a little squirrel scurried on to the road. (Y/N) gasps in shock and tries to avoid hitting the furry creature. Though at the cost of swiveling out of control.

"AAHHH!!"

(Y/N) hits the brakes as a loud shriek of the tires stop on the road. The car stops on the left side of the road as Bryans car drives past her. (Y/N) catches her breath, sweat and a few tears trickle down her skin. "Shit, I need to catch up!" (Y/N) was about to step on the pedals but sees herself in the review mirror.

The female lets her hands drop from the steering wheel, along with moving her foot from the pedals. (Y/N) opens the car door and steps out. Leaning her back against the car, trying the calm her beating heart. (Y/N) closes her eyes and turns her head up at the sky. "It's okay.."

(Y/N) says to herself, "I'm okay."

Sucking in a deep breath, she breaths out. "The stars look nice tonight." (Y/N) utters quietly, a determined look crossing her face. (Y/N) stops leaning on the door and opens it. "I can still cross the finish the line."

*Extra*

When she makes it down the hills road. Bryan stands by his car, a smug look on his features. (Y/N) parks her car and steps out. Bryan mocks her, yet she gives him a strained smiles. "Good race," and then walks over to her friend group. They glomp her in a hug, yelling at her and asking if she was alright.

(Y/N) just grins proudly, asking them if they wanted to drive up the hill with her. Not to race, but to see the stars.

The End.

(Good god this took forever, I had no ideas on how write about driving. Mostly music about driving and T.V shows kept my motivation flowing. Sorry if this isn't great, but I did my best. Thanks for reading!)

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #nrc #epel felmier #epel x reader #ace trappola #ace x reader #Jack Howl #Jack x reader #Deuce Spade #Deuce x reader #Sebek Zigvlot #Sebek x reader #(Y/N)

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deadly-posts · 4 years

Text

Rewind

[Suna Rintarou x Reader]

2.5k words

[Tw: toxic relationship; mention of drug use; panic attack; blood]

Perhaps it wasn’t about the way the day started as a boring one, because there was no yelling from them or the fact that his wounds were getting better and you almost couldn’t see them anymore or just the fact that it seemed like a normal day from the start of their relationship.

It was uncanny. All the loud silence in their small apartment and the clean air, which was something he didn’t get as much as he would like to. There was no smell of weed or any kind of drug, just a peaceful atmosphere. Why?

Why there were no plates threw to him? Why were there no joints put in his mouth without permission? Why they weren’t yelling and throwing fists in his face? Did they overdose themselves, again? Did they faint from a withdrawal? Were they in pain? And if so, why did he feel so good and released when he imaged them suffering and leaving him alone? Or a better question: why did he felt also lonely when he saw their lifeless body in his mind?

“Love? Are you okay?” his voice was trembling, maybe with fear or with relief, perhaps both and none, confusion of feeling hit him, Will they answer, will the silence remain as an empress over the so-called home of them. He feared what he can find once he gets to their shared room. Maybe it was the thought of being alone again, or the thought that he would enjoy it because they would free him from their grasp once and for all. Would he find someone better? Or maybe he didn’t deserve a rewind of this fucked up route he took when he first fell in love.

A giggle made him jump out of his skin. The lord just laughs in his face because he thought that this could end so easily. It was their laugh, and it was drenched in LSD or ecstasy. He couldn’t tell the difference anymore, anyway. Should he go get some water, hoping it will calm them down? Perhaps he should just move his legs already before something bad would happen.

He opened forcefully, the door which was protecting them from the eyes of strangers that somehow always came in the apartment to get their daily dose of something, drugs or his food. For the love of God, he knows this isn’t how a relationship should look like, but be dammed their hold was comforting in all those lonely nights. Their soft hands on his skin and the way they wiped his tears in the beginning. He missed that.

“Rin!” their voice was so sweet, maybe a little too sweet. Sweet enough to make you throw up only after you smell it. “Sweetie, there is a party, a good one! You can invite as many people as you want, the more the better as long as they know how to keep their mouth shut.” Their hands found their way around his neck as two snakes that would never let him go, neither kill him, they were just playing with their mouse. Their lips painted passionless kisses on his cheeks and almost kissed him on the lips, yet he felt it was wrong so he moved his head away.

“Did you- just now? Oh God, Rin, I thought we got over those incidents. Can’t you just let me kiss my boyfriend? I miss your lips, darling.” slaty-sweetly words were those. He wanted to kiss them too, but they weren’t the person he fell in love, they weren’t the high school sweetheart anymore. He wanted to say all those words, he wanted to yell and throw a tantrum because he feels suffocated.

But in another part of the same city, much closer than you would have thought there was Osamu Miya talking on his phone with a friend, [y/n], perhaps just catching up with each other or just chatting about an annoying blonde with a brown undercut.

“One sec, [y/n], someone else is calling me. I’m going to come back to you.” the grey-haired twin said as he put you on hold and answer the other call. “Yes?” he said, more as a question because he didn’t bother to see whose name was on the screen. It surprised him to hear his other friend's voice, Suna, almost begging him to come to a party with as many trustworthy people as he can.

“Please, I don’t think I can go through the entire night, hell! I don’t even know if I can go through the whole day without someone next to me.” it wasn’t something that never happened before, Osamu knew about the way his relationship was going and told him so many times to end it, that he is there if he needed someone to be next to him when it happens but every time Suna would say that he loves them and would never give them up so easily.

“Ok ... fine, but I am going to bring only one more person, I hope. They might help you with- you know what.” as he said that on the other side of the phone call Rintarou smiled and thanked his friend for always agreeing with his pledge of help. As Osamu said that, Rin closed the phone call, which meant he can go back to talking with [y/n] and asking her to go to the party with him. “I’m back, did you miss me?” he asked playfully, which made you roll your eyes back. It wasn’t every day Osamu Miya made jokes like that.

“Sure, I did Samu, but what's with the playfulness out of nowhere?” you asked with a soft smile on your lips as you placed yourself on your bed getting comfy for an all-nighter on your phone with Ao3 and Spotify. Little did you know, Samu had already made other plans for you.

“You see, I have this friend, and he invited me to a party, and I was thinking we should go together - I mean as friends! I kinda need your help with something.” as he said that, a notification sound made him jump a little, Suna just texted him the address “And you can’t say no! Remember the time when I helped you with Atsumu’s flirting? You still didn’t repay me for pretending to be your boyfriend.” he continued without giving you the time to say that you just want to be lazy in your bed.

Next thing you know is that you were searching for some clothes which were decent for a party late at night. As soon as you found something, Samu texted you that he just arrived in front of your apartment complex. You put some shoes on, took your phone and charger in your pockets, locked the door [please remember to always lock your door kids] and gone you were.

As he said, in front of the complex, Osamu was leaning on a random wall looking at his phone, probably scrolling through Instagram. He didn’t seem to have come with a car which made you think he was going to drink at the party or maybe the location was closer than you would have thought. You waved at him to catch his attention, and you did. Samu raised his head from the phone and smiled at you.

“Thought you change your mind. Even if you couldn’t because if you would have I would just drag you with me, with a leash and all.” the young adult said giggling and handing you a bag with onigiri and some water. “Just a reminder to stay hydrated and healthy.”

“Kinky, man.” you said as you took an onigiri out and started munching on it. “Oh, I guess the party is close or maybe you want to drink and that’s why I don’t see your car here?” you asked with your mouth full, which made Samu almost choke on his own onigiri while walking in a direction. He nodded, but you didn’t know which was correct. Was it close, or he wanted to drink? “Dude, yes what?”

“Yes, the party is close.”

After 20 minutes of walking, you took a turn and end up in a small alley which had a coffee shop, or what it looks like a coffee shop, which had tons of different colours lights going out through the windows. You guess that’s where the party was, but damn, those lights made you dizzy if you stared at them too much. “Here we are.” Osamu’s voice made its way to your ears, and a sigh escaped you. “I know I should have told you before getting here, but it’s a drug party - I don’t do them ... and this is why I end up taking you here. I told you my friend invited me here, yea? Well, he is here because his toxic someone and I know how sweet you can be, so I thought that if I get you two to meet -”

“You want to set me up with someone who has a partner???? Dude, it’s not like I don’t understand your reason, but your friend made his own decision to remain in the toxic relationship.” you said and the boy next to you sighed, but that didn’t stop him from pushing you through the door. He just wanted to make you two to get to see each other at least. “You motherf-” you were about to swear but you got blinded, for a moment, by the lights.

The music wasn’t as loud as you thought but the smoke was like a veil over the whole location, and the smell, the smell made your head hurt, good thing you had a forgotten mask in one of your pockets so you putted on. It wasn’t like it actually helped with something, but the smell minimizes a little. Samu said he is going to search for his friend and left you were you were, alone with nobody you knew. “This piece of shit, left me with junkys and nobody that I know. He just said ‘bye-bye’ and puff he disappeared.” you cursed the grey-haired twin. You moved through the sea of people, searching for a place you could sit.

You finally found a chair, and you sat down. It wasn’t like you walked that much, but you did have in plan to just stay in your bed all night and read. You threw back your head and silently yelled from frustration. “He could just let me be, but noo he had to drag me here for his match up power.” you mumbled, at least he gave you a bottle of water before entering this place, who knows what could be in the drinks.

“You really will not let me kiss you?! You are my boyfriend, mine! Nobody’s else! You piece of trash nobody would have been with you! I took you!” yells made you raise your head to see what is happening. A person with black hair and bad posture was getting yelled by another unknown person. See, this is why you don’t complicate yourself with relationships.

“Fuck you! You aren’t the person I fell in love with! You are just another junky who wants to feel validation!” the black-haired person yelled back, which made the first person throw to the poor man a glass made bottle in to his face. Blood started dripping from his nose, lips and forehead. What the actual hell? What is wrong with the person who just threw the bottle?! You sat up in mere seconds and made your way to the two of them. You instinctively caught the wrist of the black-haired man and pulled him away.

“You psycho! No need to make him bleed! You could just talk it out!” you yelled at them and after you ran out, on the balcony with the bleeding person. When the fresh air hit your face, you took down the mask and made the man sit down. “Let me take care of those wounds, okay?” you said as you inspected his face to be sure that there is no piece of glass in it. Luckily enough, there wasn’t any, so you wiped the blood from his face. He had a pretty face, his eyes were dark but told you so much about his experience, his jaw wasn’t sharp but it matched his vibe. He looked like he was about to cry. Poor him. “I’m [y/n].” you said tenderly as you stopped wiping the blood.

“I- um, I’m Suna Rintarou.” he said, and his voice was trembling, which made you see that his entire body was shaking too. This man was abused before, for sure. If it was the first time you bet, he wouldn’t have been here with you. “I-I’m sorry for the trouble.” he continues, taking your hands in his hands and putting them away from his face. “It’s fine, everything it’s fine now.” you whispered, not pulling your hands from his. He looked like he needed a soft touch on his own accord right now.

His breathing was going back to normal, but a well to known voice made him shake so hard and hyperventilate. “No, no, no... they’re going to find me!” this looked like a panic attack, no joke. “Hey, hey look at me,” you said softly “they won’t ever touch again. I’m right here.” His eyes were becoming teary and he could barely breathe normally, his every breath was caught in his throat and his face was changing colours becoming pale almost blue. “Suna-san! Please calm yourself.” you tried to snap him out of it “Suna-san, can I kiss you?”

Even if he couldn’t hear well, he heard the question which caught him by surprise and made his breath come to normal a little. You knew you just had to distract him from the thing that made him panic. “What?” he asked, confused, and that made you smile. “Thank goddess you are back to normal.”

“I wouldn’t say no.” he mumbled to himself. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He knew that this is the last time he is going to see his partner- no, his ex. He won’t accept this treatment. He fell out of love a long time ago, he just despised the feeling of being lonely that was all that kept him next to them. “You can kiss me, if you still want!”

His reaction was so innocent, which only made you lean and kiss his cut lips, still tasting the dry blood on them. You didn’t know if you wanted to go further from this sweet kiss, because it might trigger him, but for your surprise he actually asked permission with his tongue to explore more of your mouth and you accepted. His tongue was exploring every inch of your mouth, perhaps finding comfort in this. A soft moan escaped him and his face was flushed. His hands found their way to your cheeks and pulled you closer, maybe because he enjoyed this so much and didn’t want to let go to this serotonin hormone.

“I see you met each other.” the voice of your best friend, nobody else that Samu ruined the moment.

#suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna rintarō #suna rintaro headcanons #suna rintaro x reader #oneshot #drugs addict #toxic relationships #haikyuu x reader #miya osamu

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thisismyhell · 4 years

Text

Bodyguard (Part 1)

I’m giving fanfiction a try! this is my very first one, and i think itll become a series.

Reader x Loki

Summary: Reader works with the Avengers as a research Biologist, and receives a worrying text from a toxic ex boyfriend. Loki enlists himself in watching out for reader, and fluff ensues.

Warnings: mentions of stalker/toxic ex boyfriend, fluff

Since living in the compound, you were accustomed to not only high security, but constantly being surrounded by Gods, Monsters, and people who could kill with a look. You happened to fall into the cracks of these people, weaving your way into each basket briefly before moving on.

Since you lived where you worked, spending time late at night in a meeting, your office, or in the gym wasn’t out of the ordinary. You thrived in this environment since you could spend all your time doing your work without having to take travel time or traffic into account.

Tonight was one of those nights. You were working in your office, deep in concentration on your recent research proposal, when a notification from your phone almost gave you whiplash. You caught your breath, and reached for your phone, noticing that it was an unrecognized number. Not thinking much of it, you unlocked your screen, when your stomach dropped.

“Hey (Y/N), it’s been a while eh? Wanted to let you know im in the neighbourhood, and wanted to get drinks some time with you. I can pick you up at the compound. -K”.

Your ex-boyfriend. How did he manage to get your new number? You shouldn’t even be surprised, considering how easy it was for him to insert himself into every aspect of your life when you were together.

Months ago, you started to notice how jealous he became at every little thing. You wanted to go out with friends? He insisted on either coming or giving you a curfew. Weren’t home on time to his liking? He would track your phone and show up unannounced to wherever you were, loudly declaring to everyone around you that you must be cheating on him. He had horrible trust issues, and sometimes you wondered what he would do if you stopped giving in to his words. Would be become forceful? Would you be in physical danger? Thankfully, you mustered up the strength to call it quits before you found out, but who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t?

You blinked back into reality and took in your surroundings. You were surprised that you felt so alone suddenly. Usually you have no problem with staying up late like this, even if you were the last in the research building. You began to quickly pack up your belongings, clutching your phone, swiftly exiting into the hallway. You knew you were just being paranoid, but you looked down both sides of the hall before racing to the elevators. Once it arrived, you jumped in and pushed the button incessantly until you were safely inside. As you listened to the dings of each floor pass, and watched the lights switch to each level, you began to calm down. You felt ridiculous. Why would you be scared of your lazy ex boyfriend over a text message? Maybe it was someone sending a prank text. Maybe he wasn’t even in the city. And lord help anyone who tried to break into the compound without getting tackled by security. You were fine.

The elevator doors slid open and you gained back your confidence; stepping out onto the main floor when all of a sudden you hit what felt like a brick wall, sending your things flying, and dropping your phone to the floor. You gasped, shoving yourself against the wall and throwing your forearms in front of your face. Someone grabbed them and tried to move them down but it wasn’t working. “(Y/N would you relax?! It’s just me.” Loki. That monster. You opened your eyes and pushed back at him, your fear being replaced with anger and frustration. “LOKI I AM GOING TO KILL YOU I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THIS BUILDING YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS-“. His laughter brought you back to reality. “(Y/N) what is wrong with you? You really have terrible reaction times to your fear, we should work on that”. Through all the commotion and stress you didn’t realize it but you began to cry. “Love, are you alright? I didn’t scare you that badly did I, what’s wrong?”.

You slid down the wall and haphazardly began to collect your things. You picked up your phone, and handed it to Loki, who looked at the message on the screen. “(Y/N), is this who I think it is?”. You nodded. Once you packed your bag, Loki helped you up. “Is this why you were so scared? You thought I was him?”. You nodded again, catching your breath.

The two of you began to go outside, walking along the garden pathway back to the main building where you all lived. “I haven’t heard from him in months. Not since I ended things. He took it horribly but I never thought that maybe it wasn’t over for him. He seemed like the type to be mad, but then move on to some other girl once he had the chance. I can’t believe he found my number again.” Loki listened to you as you walked in the dark, illuminated only by compound streetlamps and the fireflies of the gardens around you. “(Y/N), I’ll be honest, I find it highly unlikely for someone to forget about you that quickly without remorse. I know the two of you were not together for that long, but he seems to still be struggling with the thought of letting you go.” You felt a bit surprised. “What, so I had this text coming to me? I should have known he would want to make contact again?”. He realized what he had implied. “No, I’m sorry. What I mean is, I am not surprised that he would want to have this influence you. Forgive me, but maybe his skull is too thick to get that through.” You laughed and he smiled down at you.

________________________________________________________

You and Loki had clicked almost immediately. You were a researcher hired into the Stark company, bringing your useful knowledge of biology and mechanics. Since there were now Gods and Aliens on the team, Stark thought it would be quite useful to try and bridge the gap. So he went through universities around the world, not sure what exactly he was looking for. But when he walked into your lab by accident, you had yelled over to him for an extra hand in helping tie some stem cells together. He noticed your focus and lack of ick-factor and interviewed you on the spot. Well, more like allowing you to crack open his gadgets and listen to you go on and on about how you think human properties could be incorporated into his technology. He was instantly hooked.

He brought you back to the compound and introduced you to the team the next week. Loki noticed how you weren’t flinching at any of the information being thrown at you, and even began to ask questions to your team members about their own worlds. He noticed that you were already acting like a team member, without needing the blood bond. You were gung-ho the minute you set foot on the property. And he respected that.

The two of you became closer after you expressed interest in reading some Asgardian texts that you were useless in deciphering. Loki agreed to be your partner in your research adventure, offering a better look into each others lives.

________________________________________________________

As you looked back up at your friend, you realized how thankful you were that he had almost scared you to death. If he hadn’t, you’d be all alone out here in the dark, probably looking over your shoulder at every snap of a twig. Although the compound was quiet and secluded, there were still the elements. The two of you came to a stop outside the main entrance doors. “Are you feeling alright now?”, “Yes, thank you. I’m glad I didn’t have to make that walk alone. Usually I’m fine, but that text message really threw me off”. “I can see why. What kind of idiot jus announces their desire to ambush you like that? He doesn’t seem like the strategic type.” He smiled down at you, trying to lighten the mood. You reciprocated, letting him open the door for you.

The wait for the elevator and the ride up to your rooms was passed with asking each other about your work days and if you had evening plans. Neither of you were good at keeping an honest sleep schedule. As the two of you were saying goodnight to each other in your hallway, he stopped you before entering your room. “(Y/N), I know you can hold your own, but if you ever need someone to walk you home again, you know how to contact me”. You reached up and gave him a hug. “Thank you Loki, I appreciate that. And you know the same always goes for you”. You let him go and as he walked away from you, you called out to him once more; “By the way, what were you even doing in the research building today?”. He stopped and turned to face you, “I saw your office light on from outside. I was hoping to run into you before you left for the evening. Unfortunately I ended up frightening you rather than enticing you”. You raised your eyebrows, “Loki, you know you always entice me”.

He walked away, and you entered your room feeling a wave of comfort and relief wash over you.

#loki #loki x reader #loki and reader #avengers x reader #loki series #avengers series #loki fluff #avengers fluff #loki x reader fluff

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hitsuackerman · 4 years

Text

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.14

a/n: thank you all so much for taking the time to read this fic <3 reading your comments always warm my heart so much and never fail to make my day :’) enjoy this chapter hohoho >:3

warnings: this cannot be read solo, crossover

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 15

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito @meximorrita @awesomeee19

“ACKERDADDY! YASSS!”

“Isn’t it too early, even for you Gei?” Levi complained as he took a sip of his coffee. You had told him that Gei would be coming over for breakfast, what he did not expect was the echoing screech of his famous nickname from the flamboyant man. But if he were to be honest, Gei was a breath of fresh air.

“He’s right.” Compared to Levi, you still had not fixed yourself up. It looked as if he were the owner of the unit and you were some homeless person he took pity on. Bed hair still present, zero makeup, and Overhaul’s jacket still wrapping your torso. “It’s 7 in the morning Gei. Now make yourself useful and give us the take out.”

“How in the world did you date this cave woman, Levi?” Gei stuck his tongue out as he placed the food onto the table. His stomach did a cartwheel when he saw the signature smirk on the ever so handsome officer.

“I asked myself that question everyday.” He flinched when you threw a coaster at his face. Giving you a wink, he tossed the coaster to the table and sipped his coffee once more. Yet his peripheral vision was on the jacket. A pang of jealousy hit him knowing that was once where his jackets would rest.

Gei was quick to see the remorse in his face and turned the subject.

“So~ What’re you up to Ackerdaddy?” He placed the pancakes in front of Levi. “It’s rather sudden that you’d travel 4 hours just to be here.”

“Her boss is meddling with her cases. I have to accompany them to the HPSC later in the day.” He sliced the pancake and chewed on it. “Petty and troublesome.”

“You’re always welcome in my office~” He winked at the gorgeous man who simply shook his head with amusement. “What about you, baby girl? How’s you and Overhoe?”

“We won’t be partnering for the stake out. Nao will be taking my place instead.” You explained as you ate some bacon. “Chief is making me focus on the arson case. Though I don’t really see the need to since it’s basically straw pulling at this point. Oh well. Hopefully meeting up with Endeavor would help.”

“Good lords. Ya’ll are already dead beat this early in the morning.” Gei pouted and wiped non-existent sweat away. “My invitation still stands, boo-boos. I do need a new secretary though. If ya’ll can hand over a talented man, feel free to toss him in.”

The breakfast was seemingly quick and you were now ready for the day’s work. Picking a business attire, you checked yourself out in the mirror. Presentable enough for those assholes, that’s what you thought. Recalling the last time you saw them, it was when a certain popular hero dragged you in on a random case. The scenery of being parked outside a grocery store and waiting for a delivery was the most random your police life could ever get. Still, the hero made up for an excellent connection during desperate times.

Grabbing your phone, you scanned through the notifications and answered three calls while doing the final touches to your look. By the time you were about to exit your room, you took a step back and dialed a number.

“Good morning.”

“What is it?” Overhaul asked. His voice seemed to echo. You were almost certain that he was doing his villain duties. Though, it made you wonder why he still chose to answer. Maybe he wasn’t in the middle of it.

“Just wanted to annoy you with sunshine. That’s all.” Hearing him sigh meant victory. “Bathe in flowers and joy, Chisaki.”

“When I said feel free to call, I meant regarding the case.” Chrono, who was holding the phone for him, rolled his eyes. Sometimes he loved wearing the mask for that sole purpose. Of course it was rare, though. He respected Kai with all his might. He just had his tendencies.

“That’s not the tone you gave me, though.” Hearing a knock on your door, you had to cut the call short. “Well, I gotta go. I do hope I disrupted your villainous activities.”

“Oh, you did.” That smoothness in your voice caused chills to run down your spine. That man could say random shit and make it sound enticing. “Till later, Problem Child.”

Ending the call, you were now in a much lighter mood. When you were now in the living room, Levi and Gei were ready to leave. Asking the doctor if he would like to be sent to work, he merely flicked his imaginary long hair and said that he had his chauffeur waiting for him downstairs. That was his code for he brought along his car.

Now that Levi and you were on your way to the HPSC building, the both of you were reviewing the elements of the case. Asking each other questions that they might ask. As he drove, you were flipping pages after pages that ultimately lead to being unsolved. With the last straw being Endeavor, Levi stated how the people in the commission would surely give you dirty looks.

“I could honestly care less about them.” You waved him off as he now parked the car. “My ultimate concern is the chief. Do me a favor and stay in the middle?”

“You didn’t have to ask.”

As if on cue, the chief was waiting by the entrance. He had been wearing his uniform which only meant he was fresh from a raid. When Levi took command, his nose picked up the smell of sun, sweat, and some kind of vegetable. Nothing has indeed changed.

All of you were now making your way towards the meeting room. Small talk being exchanged every few steps of the way. When the big glass doors were now opened, all three of you were met by the president herself. Stealing a quick glance, Levi reassured you with a nod and a small tap on the knuckle. Activating your quirk, you felt relaxed once more.

Taking your respective seats, you were quick to take the file out and give them a part of your attention.

“It has come to our attention that a certain case has been lax for quite some time now?” The president started, eyes scanning the reports.

“It has. Every lead had been fully searched yet nothing. The last one is admittedly a straw but it might open something.” You swallowed a bit of saliva. “I will be meeting with Endeavor in the next few days to briefly discuss his ties with the companies.”

“How long has this been under your wing?”

“About a year.” You weren’t sure but it was more or less that amount. Cursing yourself, it was rather embarrassing that your record was not 100% solved cases. It couldn’t be helped though, you would remind yourself that from time to time.

“Drop the case. We’ll take care of it.” The president commented. She closed the folder and handed it over to one of the secretaries. Being handed another file, you watched as they began to distribute copies of it. “However, you may still proceed with Endeavor. Update us regarding that.”

“Sure.”

“Chief Kaoru, have you relayed the information to these two officers?”

“Not yet.” He replied with a smug tone on his voice. Both Levi and you managed to pick it up. Straightening both your postures, anticipation went up. “I thought it would be best for you to break it to them.”

“Understood.” The president nodded to the guard. Following instructions, you watched as the doors opened. Two familiar heroes, along with 4 students, now entered the meeting room. “We have come to discuss a much important matter. However, the HPSC will simply oversee this one. Fatgum and Sir Nighteye will be in charge for the next mission to come. Treat this with utmost confidentiality.”

“(Y/N)~” Fatgum greeted you. He was as round as ever. But there was worry in his eyes. “Long time no see~”

“Indeed it has been, Taishi~” Something was wrong. Despite your quirk constantly steadying your blood pressure, your breathing was now uneven. You had no problem with Fatgum. It was Sir Nighteye you were unsure of. “What’s the mission?”

Giving the floor to Nighteye, all three of you observed as he took out an evidence bag from his pocket. Placing it on the table, Levi took it and held it up for both of you to see. Inside was a small silver bullet.

“That bullet right there,” Nighteye began. “Managed to erase this student’s quirk for a few hours.”

“Erase?” Levi repeated.

“Yes.” The student with dwarf-like ears answered. “I’m not sure when it wore off but I woke up this morning and my quirk was back to normal.”

“And where do you think these bullets came from?” The chief asked. He was now scanning the report and his eye caught sight of a familiar name. He couldn’t help it. A smirk now formed on his face. The tables have now turned to his favors. This was unexpected, they informed him about the outline but he was all too happy at the situation now.

“We think they came from the black market. One of our sidekicks mentioned that the Yakuza might have something to do with this.” Nighteye now opened his copy and flipped through some pages. His glasses reflected the small font on the paper. You knew about his quirk. If anything, you decided to avoid being touched by him. They probably had an idea that you were working with Overhaul and would exploit it.

Levi knew by now what was going on. From under the table, he reached for your hand. It had been clenched into a tight fist this whole time. Holding on to it, he caught a glimpse as to how your shoulders relaxed but your jaw tightened. Feeling your fingers wrapping around his, that was all the support he could lend you for now.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked the green haired boy. “You look like you want to take a shit.”

“Overhaul…” The green haired child began. From where you were sitting, there was fear and regret in his eyes. “Overhaul was last seen with his daughter. She managed to bump into us.”

Just how much did you not know about Overhaul? Nodding him to continue, you saw how his shoulders began to tremble.

“I heard that you 're working with him on a case right now.” He continued. “If there’s any way you can use that to our advantage, please. Please help us get Eri-chan back. Mirio-senpai and I couldn’t do anything but let her go back with that monster. I want to be a hero but I can’t even save a child.”

“Enough.” Levi cut him off. “Sure you wanna be a hero, I get it. But one doesn’t become a hero overnight, kid. The only advice I can give you now is to calm down and recollect yourself. Letting anger and regret take control won’t do shit for any of us.”

“Mr. Ackerman.” Nighteye intruded. “Would it be a burden to ask for your cooperation with this case? You and your quirk would be most helpful in the next coming weeks.”

“Can’t do, Sir Nighteye.” The chief answered on Levi’s behalf. “Ackerman was dragged on for the case now handed over to the big dogs. He’ll be staying here till his meeting with Endeavor is finished. It is to his discretion if he wishes to tag along on his remaining days.”

“First off,” He looked at the chief with his steel gray eyes. One that sent the hairs on his forearm to stand. “Do not answer on my behalf. I work independently as we agreed, shitface.”

Fatgum, Nighteye, and the students all felt their jaws drop. Though the police force did not stand out, it was impossible to not hear about the man in front of them. With a quirk suitable for a hero, it had always been a mystery as to why he chose to hide from the spotlight. Dozens of rumors surrounded Levi Ackerman, yet none of them were sure which were real or not. One thing was certain, the chief did not hold his respect.

“Second, while it’s true that I can only stay till my meeting with Endeavor is over, I can lend my assistance in this mission.” He paused and stared at Nighteye. “On conditions of course.”

“What might that be?”

“There’s only two.”

Nighteye gave him the sign to proceed.

“Do not meddle with my actions. I prefer to work alone when it comes to these.” Squeezing your hand, he made sure to let you feel that you were not alone and he would protect you with whatever power he has in this situation. “The other would be not to exploit her current standing with Overhaul.”

The heroes felt the room shrinking.

“The case she is working on contains classified information. While he may be a villain, there is an unspoken contract that she does not meddle with whatever business he has.”

“That’s right.” You finally spoke up. “While it’s true that he and I have been successfully teaming up for the current case I have, it was made into an agreement that I do not butt in with his affairs. I’m sorry, kid. The only thing I can share is that the Shie Hassaikai base is like a maze and that he may have been in contact with the League of Villains.”

“League… of Villains?” The green haired kid uttered. “Sh-Shigaraki made contact with Overhaul?”

“It seemed so.” You were now choosing your words. You had said too much.

“Are those your conditions?” Nighteye confirmed. There wasn’t that much weight to it and he wasn’t expecting a lot from the both of you either. When Levi confirmed, he stood up and adjourned the meeting. Saying that he still had to meet up with a few other heroes regarding the new found mission.

Now that it was only the three of you in the room, Levi let go of your hand and stood up as well. His senses could feel your disappointment, fear, and urgency. The man sitting beside him ultimately swelled with pride and silent victory at how the meeting had went.

“Let’s go, (L/N).” He said as he went his way towards the door. Opening it wide. He knew you needed a breather. There was a place in his mind that he knew would help sort out your thoughts. It couldn’t be blamed though, you had been dropped a massive bomb. When you passed by him, he slammed the door and grabbed your wrist.

“Levi?!” You squeaked as he ran all the way back to the car. Telling you to get in, you followed and now found yourself buckled up and back on the road. The ride was silent but from the direction he was going and the lane he was in, you knew where he was going.

Your thoughts were cut when you saw his palm asking for yours. Accepting his offer, you desperately held on to it.

“You can cry.” He said as he took the familiar turn towards the destination. “Go ahead.”

Leaning closer towards him, you released your quirk and immediately felt all the tension catching up to your system. Hiding your face in his chest, he gently wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you let the tears fall down your face.

- - - - -

two words: brace yourselves

#overhaul x reader #overhaul #bnha overhaul #mha overhaul #chisaki kai x reader #bnha chisaki kai #mha chisaki kai #chisaki kai #bnha chisaki

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borathae · 3 years

Note

Sibi 💖 it's scream time again for me 🎊

i was practically vibrating with excitement when i saw the notif!!! i honestly wasn't sure if i should just read it or not bcs i didn't want this ride to end :(

AND THIS CHAPTER OH MY LORD I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO DROP THAT ON US BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING THO BCS

and also, ITS REALLY CALLED "I LOVE YOU" NO END ME ALREADY 😭💕

as much as i was mad at kook last chapter, this one just made me uwu cry. i just wanted to give him a hug poor bby totally deserves that happy ending <3

“I know that our relationship status will be changed once I leave tonight. I’m not stupid.”

this chapter was a sob festa right from the start tho bcs look at that dialogue like cmon pls don't do this :( but also, i loved it

“Taehyung?” you call out again, “Taehyung, I’m home!”

Nobody answers you. Like always the house stays silent.

pls this was really sad and i could relate to this so much in a way.

that little moment with hobi was so cute. it was really endearing to see his perspective on her and it really made me smile 💜

“Father is drunk and angry”, he whispers, voice quivering in fear.

the way my heart froze here

Taehyung was by the sink, sobbing and panting as he was trying his hardest to reach his back. His shirt was thrown to the ground, covered in bloodstains.

and then i started sobbing here, literally.

this part really hurt, like really. to see him become so weak, scared and vulnerable as he cried and yet, tried to decline her help was heartbreaking. it showed how he was raised to act like a "man" all the time which are such toxic standards. you portrayed that really nicely and i admire you 🥺

but for his dad to hit him and leave marks- such a horrifying thought and im just SO FUCKING MAD AT HIS DAD LIKE BITCH FUCK OFF 😡🤬

tae deserves all the comfort, safety, love and affection and im so so glad and happy that he had the oc there for him in that moment.

they cleared their misunderstandings and sorted their differences. ofc it was a vulnerable moment too, a hard discussion but it had to be done. you wrote it so beautifully. it was SO VISIBLE that both their hearts were hurting but they decided to move past it and accept and i think it was really beautiful ❤

"___ I think I'm starting to fall in love with you", he confesses before quiet sobs steal his words again.

yeah i sobbed too.

but yeah, they came out with their feelings fucking finally and it was endearing

not @ me getting flashbacks from chapter 7 at the "Come Closer." lmao

okay also, can i mention how i almost felt like i was thirdwheeling while they fucked made love? 😳🤪

AND TAE HONEY.....FIVE TIMES??? GOOD LORD UGHHH *groans in horny* seriously tho oc getting the action like yay you go gurl

AND IM SORRY BUT I HAD TO QUOTE THIS

"I know it’s kinda the Leaning Tower of Pisa, uhm yeah", he mumbles, scratching his neck.

i just- 😃🔫

okay i could honestly feel the love radiating off them this chapter and it was so cute uwu

watching these two adorable idiots fight and grow closer through the past two months and then finally this? it was one hell of a ride but like the best kind. and i can't believe its ending now like....my wednesdays won't be the same now and just-

im just so grateful to you for this story. you really made my wednesdays so special and gave me something to look forward to and be happy for

and btw, im eternally thankful to you 💜

literally, you shared this amazing world of yours with us and im just so glad you did. sending you so many hugs and kisses sibi

like always, pls take care of yourself and remember to love yourself! 💕 i love you lots and i love, respect and admire your work a lot too (ps. i read "shutter sounds" recently and i loved it) and will forever follow you here (i hope that doesn't sound creepy skdjajakkdks) also, im very sorry for screaming here in your ask box but you know i have to 🥺💕

here have a tae to make your day even better-

fajifajdfjfajsdfja okay first of all omfgggg Taee :(( he is so adorable I wanna kiss :(((

And second of all DO YOU HEAR ME YELLING IN LOVE NOISES FOR YOU???? because I am 🥺😭💕

The memes you used? 10/10

The lines you quoted? omfg thank you 10/10 for being awesome

The words you wrote? 100000000/10 I fcukicng love you!!!

You? 4935902435094385328/10 holy shIT 💜

like that part

i honestly wasn't sure if i should just read it or not bcs i didn't want this ride to end :(

IS LITERALLY ME WHENEVER I REACH THE LAST CHAPTER OF A STORY HAHAHHAHAH like I am such a procrastinator in endings because I do not want to let it go quite yet :(

it showed how he was raised to act like a "man" all the time which are such toxic standards. you portrayed that really nicely and i admire you

This is legit such a compliment omfg :( I honestly worked so hard on that scene in the bathroom because I didn't want to portray the hardships men often have to go through in our society standards. So I am really glad that I was able to convey those feelings 💕

Please my dear, I love you so much and appreciate you with my entire heart! I really, really do! 💜💕

#asks: ihyily #reviews #jeonlovescoffee #when sad #fave

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kpopisthereasonihavenolife · 5 years

Text

Midnight Reassurance

BTS

Kim Taehyung/Reader [F]

Genre: Drabble, Fluffiest thing I’ve ever written??

Words: 1.2k

Warning(s)!!: Absolutely 0

a/n: this is literally just emotionally intimate cuddling and it’s my favorite thing in the universe

Taehyung sprung awake in bed, body tense from whatever nightmare just ran through his unconscious mind previously. He couldn’t remember the details, but the feeling of tension in his chest, the whirling of his mind and the thought of you on his brain made his head spin. His breathing was labored as he fumbled around in the dark of his room.

He had the damnedest time gripping his phone and yanking the charger out of the bottom of it, his hands shaking in a sense fear he didn’t know the cause of. Flinching from the brightness he had forgotten to turn down before he plugged it in before he went to sleep, he swiped it down before opening his messages.

The last message he sent you was the previous afternoon when you had told him he needed to rest early because of the work he’s been doing. He’s been busy working himself to the bone to save up money- just because he was so tired of having enough money for rent and bills only. He wanted something to spend- something to perhaps spend on you.

You were his best friend- one he happened to also work with as well. You were the reason he got the job at some clothing store at the mall anyway. You’ve been employed for a few years and when he put in an application with you as a reference, your employer asked you about him and you must’ve put in quite a good word for him. He was called and hired on the spot- no interview needed.

You either praised him to high heaven or they were severely understaffed- he still wasn’t sure which was the correct answer.

Tapping on your message threads, he held his phone above his face as he typed.

[Hey? You’re not still awake right now, are you?]

He felt stupid as soon as he hit send. It was half-past midnight. You were normally passed out by 11 on any other day. However, he still saw three grey dots on his screen before his phone bubbled a response from you. One he was half not expecting.

[Yup. What do you need?]

He curled his lips under his teeth, taking a breath before texting you back.

[I think I had a pretty nasty nightmare that may or may not have involved you. I don't remember… I just. I dunno, it freaked me out so I texted you.]

[Aww, Tae. It’s okay, it was just a dream and I’m just peachy! Do you need me to call you or something? I don't mind.]

[No no. It’s okay. I’m just shaken up a little.]

[Taehyung, I’ll call you okay? Just let me get some water, I am parched!]

[..So, you were sleeping?]

[Don't you worry about it. I’m calling now!]

He stared at his screen as a few seconds passed and the phone lit up with a picture of you with your newest favorite song playing behind it. Swiping his thumb across the screen, he pulled the phone down next to his ear as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Y/n?” He quietly spoke, a hitch in his voice from sleep.

“Hey,” you lowly cooed, sleep evident in your own voice too. A punch of guilt hit him knowing that he did wake you up. He knew you were easy to wake up when it came to your phone. Be it a phone call, an alarm or notification, you'd probably at least halfway wake up to anything regarding the cellular tech. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he told you. He did feel a bit better hearing your voice, putting his raised nerves to rest. He bit something back on the tip of his tongue though. “I miss you,” he said instead of the words ‘I wish you were here’. He heard you chuckled on your end, making a smile crept upon his face.

“You saw me this morning for morning shift Tae.”

“That was too long ago,” he chided with a playful tone. The line was silent for a while- this wasn’t anything new, however. A lot of your calls or face times were quiet. You didn't need to talk, just knowing someone was there on the other line was comforting. The silence was comfortable and put his mind at ease. “Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

“Could you… Maybe come over?” He bit his tongue the moment he let the words slip. He shouldn't be asking you to come over at this time of night, especially if you had work the next day. “I- nevermind. Forget what I just said,” he sighed, folding his forearm over his eyes.

“I’m putting my shoes on. I’ll be there in about 15, okay?”

Taehyung sat up in bed, getting light-headed and dizzy from the quick action. “What? No, it’s okay. Just stay home.”

“See you soon!” You cheered, ignoring him before you hung up. He pouted at his dark phone screen as he plopped back onto his mattress.

Just as you said, later on, Taehyung could faintly hear his apartment door swing open and latch shut before it was relocked. You were the only person who had the extra key. You padded through his apartment as he slowly sat up and saw you come into his room. Shutting his door behind you, you waved at him in small motions.

You were in your fuzzy emoji pants he got you last Christmas and a sweatshirt that was definitely his that you definitely stole; only lord knows when. Shedding off your jacket, you flung it on his desk chair as he moved over in his bed. You lifted the covers and slid in beside him, his hands find purchase around you instantly.

He hooked his feet behind your knees and ankles, wrapping one arm around your waist, the other gripping your forearm as he curled to push his face into your neck, the crown of his head under your chin. You chuckled as he felt it vibrate in your throat and chest. He sighed, finally at ease. His eyes fluttered shut as you started combing his head with your fingers, your nails massaging into his scalp.

“Feel better now?” You whispered as he just groaned and nodded- too tired and too comfortable to form words. You chuckled again, moving your hands down to rub the nape of his neck. He nearly felt like purring at the soft touches. “Good,” you told him.

He couldn’t get enough of moments like this. He wished he could tell you how he felt about you without foaming at the mouth. He’s always been so open, so truthful, but just the idea of telling you that he liked- possibly even loved- you made his head into scrambled eggs and his voice stuttered like he was just finishing the last leg of puberty.

He just held you tighter as you pushed your cheek onto his head, pushing your lips to his hair and occasionally whispering to him to go to sleep. He had settled enough that he could feel exhaustion pushing him into slumber as he listened to your breathing and soft, petal-like words.

“Sleep well, Tae. Don’t have any more nightmares,” you told him. He slightly smiled at that. “I love you, so don’t be scared.” He just settled completely into your scent and warmth. Basking in everything perfect that is you. You, you, you.

And oh God, did he love you too.

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r-ahh-mi · 5 years

Text

Homecoming

Warnings: Smut. 18+. Other than that, this is just a massive dose of fluff.

Word count: 4.5k

Summary: Rami is left sifting his mind through an interview during a long press tour of the world that is drawing out far too long for his liking. After months of being away from any sort of familiarity, he begins to miss the very human being who makes him feel at home.

There was a small buzzing..or humming-like sound ringing through my ears. The humming was occasionally reaching new octaves and levels of intensity and calm, as if it was riding a very bumpy wave, but suddenly the hum was loud and staccato; repeating itself another two times before a small pinch of pain seared through my shoulder until the sound was no longer catching my attention. I winced, moving my hand in an instant to the warmth on my arm-only then did I recall just where I was and what I was doing and why I had been so rudely nudged by the person sat next to me.

Press tours were never my cup of tea. The first couple stops were fine because the questions were new and fresh and my responses were genuine and filled with real emotion, but after having to repeat a story three times, four times..ten times. It’s dull and my words begin to lose their value of genuine excitement and amusement that it once held. This interview was just like that.

The main cast, myself included, were nearing the end of our dreadfully long press tour that had wrapped itself around the globe, thus making the travel extensive and for long periods of time. And to be completely frank, I missed my bed, I missed my dog, but what, or should I say who I missed the most was my wife.

We’d never gone this long without seeing one another and I knew it was taking a tremendous toll on me and her both, though she was quick to hide it. I knew she wasn’t one to need me around every waking moment, but by the solemn tone of her voice everytime we said goodbye from our nightly phone or facetime call and whenever I told her about something amusing that happened in my day, her smile just wasn't the ‘grin and bear it’ one I was craving to be in the same room as and to smooth away with a kiss that lingered. It was small and slightly even sad, as if she wanted to badly be experiencing the same casual amusements I was seeing everyday.

I could feel myself falling back into my own head--the voices were blurring together again and the high pitched buzzing was seeping through my ears as I was beginning to be consumed with my thoughts again.

“Rami?”

Again, the pinching electrocuted a response out of me as I mumbled an ‘ow!’, and looked in the direction of the co star sat next to me who was looking at me with a less than friendly expression on their face.

I looked around the room and noted that everyone, and I mean everyone, was staring at me. Some looking annoyed, but most just looking expectant.

“Would you like me to repeat the question Mr. Malek?”

My eyes focused on the nicely dressed female as she looked at me nervously while I attempted to re-compose myself.

“Yes-s”, I stuttered, but was quick to get myself back on track. “Yes please.”

Though I didn’t really want her to. Lord knows she would only mutter out a question I’d already heard dozens of times and answered with less than the acceptable amount of enthusiasm.

“I asked if you were missing home at all; I’ve heard it’s much warmer in the states right now than it is here. I’d assume you’d be a bit home sick right now.”

To my surprise, this question was much much different from the others, in fact it’s the first time any member of the press seemed to show a glimmer of sympathy or interest in my personal well being as opposed to wanting further knowledge of this movie I was promoting. It took me a second to respond, though not too many ticking moments or else I feared I’d receive another twing from a rather bony elbow in my side.

“I do miss home, very much actually. Very excited to be in my home with my wife in the next couple days.”

The interviewers eyes seemed to light up, both with excitement of the prospects of a topic to talk about and something else that seemed to make a small smile turn up the corners of her mouth.

“I’m sure it can be tough being apart from your partner for that long. How do you cope with that?”

I shrugged, what we did was anything but coping or ‘getting by’. We made it work tremendously well and, for the most part, I have her to thank for that. She was quick to keep me grounded and even more quick to assure me that mentally I was still the down to earth boy she’d met twelve years ago who was just in the beginning stages of his career as an actor. She supported me then, she supports me now; there was never a push from her for me to do something different and I never pressured her to accept this lifestyle that I had thrown her in to, yet she did so with an overgrowing ease.

“It can be tough, but nothing we can’t handle. We’ve known each other for too long to let much get to us.”

“Surely there has to be some discourse in-”

I shook my head as my patience seemed to fly out the window much quicker than it usually did. Lack of sleep could’ve been the easy option, but what really seemed to get my ticking was this interviewer quickly shuffling from a sweet question to a comment that was seeking out drama and gossip--you know, things to actually assist them in selling their shitty writing.

“She’s great, truly she is,'' I interjected the woman’s long spiel. “Not everything is easy, but we are doing more than okay in our relationship and she’s the best person I can think of for me to share my life with.”

A couple of my co stars ‘awed’ dramatically as they patted my shoulder. I smiled in recognition, but couldn’t help but feel odd for doing the simple task that was loving and actually enjoying the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with.

“Do you have any children?”

“No”, I shook my head, “no children yet.”

“Yet?” The female interviewer quirked her eyebrow as I nibbled on my lip, holding in a smile that was threatening to spill all the way up to my cheeks.

“Yes, not quite yet.”

“So children are definitely on the table for you in the future?”

I nodded matter of factly as I thought back to the conversation me and her had prior to getting married--baby names, preferred genders, and possible nursery themes. We both saw eye to eye on nearly everything, although, the thing that was of utmost importance to me was having a healthy baby with this woman who, at that point in my life, I hadn’t even gotten the courage to ask to marry me just quite yet.

“Yeah, we absolutely want them in the future. Just waiting for everything to settle down a bit first.”

After that, the conversation seemed to shift to my co stars as the interviewer asked each of them some personal questions that weren’t much different to the ones she asked me. Of course, my busy, busy mind didn’t pay much attention once I knew that I had been asked the questions needed for this interview and I was happy that my mind was free to wander a bit more.

However, I wasn’t awarded the same freedom to think happy thoughts as I was just before the interviewer brought her attention to my personal life. Instead, now all I could think about was her and it was setting in just how god damn much I missed her. She was my partner, but most of all she was my best friend and no one enjoys being apart from their best friend for long. It’s as if a chunk of you is just missing or far away and I wanted nothing more than to cuddle it firmly against my chest and forget about the weighing lonesomeness I was feeling for her.

Eventually, the interview was over and I was free to go back to my hotel room and do as I pleased with the rest of my day. The rest of my castmates had settled on having a bit of an outing with it being our last day in an exotic location that the tour had taken us to and of course I was invited, but I just didn’t feel up to it. I would rather go back to my hotel room and bask in the sullen feelings and order some severely overpriced room service.

As soon as I slid my card into the slot and unlocked my hotel room door, I kicked the uncomfortable leather loafers to the side and reached for the phone set in my pocket as I began distracting myself with the email and text notifications displayed on my lock screen.

As I traveled to the bathroom, I found myself puzzled that I hadn’t heard from her, my wife, in quite some time. Usually she would send me a text whenever she woke up, but as I did the math in my head to compare our time differences, she would have woken up hours ago. I sent her a brief ‘love and miss you baby’ text and set my phone down on the counter as I stripped down to my briefs and shuffled my legs into some much comfier sweatpants.

I began to think about how I would spend the rest of my day; watching a movie or tv show, reading a book, because I never had time to read anymore, or maybe sleeping. Sleeping sounded like the most plausible option, seeing as I rarely got it these days, so I mentally prepared myself for the comfortable awaiting hotel sheets I would be swaddled on top of in just a moment.

But as soon as my eyes looked up and onto my bed, I nearly choked on the sharp and unexpected amount of air I had taken in. Such a reaction was bound to happen when one saw a human form lounging comfortably on their bed. Of course, the second I saw the figure the first thing I thought was to protect myself, but the moment I took in the familiar colored hair, skin, body type, and the faintest of smell, I felt anything but the opposite of crisis mode.

Instantly my shoulders slumped back down to their relaxed positions as I stared at her in disbelief. She smiled cockily—typical—as she watched me just stand there, owl eyed and ridden with shock, but the moment my mind and body seemed to process that my wife, of whom I hadn’t seen in months—god, so many fucking months—was laying on my hotel bed in a country that she was not meant to be in, I lunged for her instantly.

One could compare it to a linebackers tackle as I flung my arms around her, latched my legs to fit on top of hers, and snuggled into her side. She giggled briefly as she returned my fierce hug with just as much, if not more, power and for a couple minutes we just stayed latched on to one another.

I buried my face deep into her neck, smelling the floral accent from her favorite shampoo and id never craved a stereotypical feminine scent so much in my entire life until this very moment as I pressed a simple, sweet kiss to her neck. She giggled some more as her fingertips began to lightly trace up and down my arm and I couldn’t help myself any longer as I pulled my face up so I could have a better look at the face that I recently saw via my phone screen, but hadn’t seen or touched in person in months.

I took her in, making little notes of all the similarities and differences from the last time I saw that gorgeous face of hers, but even more than that, I loved being able to trace my thumb along her cheek again as I cupped the side of her face in my palm. She leaned Into my touch, the way she always had done, and brought her hand up to rest atop mine while her thumb rang along the mountains my knuckle bones created on my hands.

“How are you even here right now?”

Instantly, her lips twitched up into a large grin and I could only hope that she was pleased to hear the sound of my voice as I had been to hear her laugh again.

“I was able to get some time off of work and I didn’t feel like waiting a couple more days to see you.”

“So you just hopped on a plane without telling me?”

She cocked her head to the side, her eyes following the same kind of movement as her grin turned back into that sly, beautiful smirk. “Yep.”

Without hesitation I propped myself up on one elbow and moved my mouth to hers in a long, soothing kiss and it was almost like I was being teleported back to the very moment we first pressed our lips together. I relished in the taste of her mouth as our lips started working against one another until my body began to fall into rhythm as I rolled on top of her, letting my weight fall completely onto my arms which held me up above her form. The moment I felt her one hand fall on top of my back, that warmth shot through my body as if her fingertips had an electric current pulsing through them just waiting to zap me.

Though I wanted to take my time cherishing every moment and inch of her, I was also terribly filled with a lust that I hadn’t been able to fully quench in the last one hundred or so days. She was the only one who would be able to fulfill me in such a manor like that, I was positive, so I didn’t waste anytime removing her clothing from her until she was left in nothing but a pair of panties that seemed much too fancy to just be everyday underwear.

I’d be sure to give her shit about that later, but for now I wanted to appreciate them, appreciate her as much as possible.

As I moved a stray hair to safely rest back into its proper place with the other strands of hair, I couldn’t help but notice the beauty that was her. Sure, she was physically stunning, but she was much more than outwardly beautiful to me. She was filled with joy, sarcasm, whit, and intelligence that was remarkable and beyond anything I had ever seen in anyone before.

“I’m flattered by your staring, but it’s getting creepy.”

I rolled my eyes at her comment and playfully nudged my nose against her cheek, feeling the swell of her bare breasts press against me as I continued nudging her face with the tip of my nose until she was in a fit of giggles, but her noises seemed to decrease in volume as I began moving my lips delicately in a downward fashion along her skin.

I let my lips linger for long as I found the nape of her neck, letting my teeth gently graze against her skin before I’d bring the slickness of my mouth and tongue against her sweet smelling body. Her hands gripped my back much firmer than before as she wrapped her legs around my waist, her body beginning to subtly move against mine every now and again.

I noticed her breath becoming louder and faster as my hands began to palm at her chest- the silky smooth skin felt as if I was grasping the finest of materials in my hand as my thumb glided smoothly to flick over her taut nipple, making her body instantly grind itself against mine and causing me to suck in a sharp and nearly painful breath.

If this is how she was making me feel now, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like once I was intimately cradling her form as close to mine as possible while we both moved within one another. To be that close to her again was something I had been craving an ungodly amount and now that I was feeling her, tasting her skin, and hearing her make the most lust filled and pleasured noises, I was nearly thanking god for this time apart that made me that much more grateful to be as close and intimate with someone that I truly and utterly loved with everything I had.

I maneuvered my body down from her collarbones until my trail took me to her chest. I didn’t dare leave the upper half of her body until I left a teasing kiss with the slightest bit of sucking to her hardened nipple as it was kissed by the cool air. She responded exactly as I thought she would, muttering a ‘fuck’ that couldn’t have been louder than a whisper, as she let her relaxed hands slip from my back to my neck. And when my mouth hovered just a bit above the warmth between her legs, I could feel her fingers curl within my hair as she waited in anticipation and I didn’t leave her hanging for long.

My mouth grazed along the fabric of her panties, mouthing and teasing at the material while grazing my teeth along the nicely trimmed lace that was fit perfectly to her body. She voluntarily spread her legs further apart as I wrapped one of my arms around her thigh, keeping it still until I moved the thin material away from her core. Her wetness was immediately visible to me which made the stiffening in my groin begin to pulsate as it became more and more consumed with sensitivity.

I seemed like a magnet to her as my mouth instantly fell to her lower lips, dipping the tip of my tongue gently between her folds as I gave a long lick to her core that made her body twitch ever so slightly beneath my touch.

I let myself enjoy her more as I began leaving flat tongued licks to her small bundle of nerves and playing them up with either quick flicks of the tongue or slow, nearly achining movements.

She moaned out my name as I continued tasting her and I felt her hand slowly slither down to rest on top of my hand that was laying on her thigh. I let my hand switch places to rest next to hers as I intertwined our fingers, all the while, my mouth proceeded to please her body. Her hips were stirring lightly with every flick of my tongue, but her hips became almost uncontrollable as I puckered my lips and began sucking mercilessly on her clit.

She was writhing and squirming with every gasp she could fathom up. Her hand was squeezing mine harshly as our fingers still remained intertwined until it was evident that she was hitting her climax. Her hips moved against my mouth and loud moans breached from her mouth as she grinded her body and I sucked and licked her up for as long as I knew it was pleasurable to her—until I felt her body relax back down into the mattress and her thumb start lightly tracing the divets of my hand again.

I pulled my face up and the first thing I saw was her bashful glow as she looked up at me with red cheeks and a thin layer of sweat glazed across her forehead.

“Well, that was quick,” I joked as I sat back up, but she didn’t seem too thrilled with my better attempt at humor as she brought her had up to lightly smack me along the arm.

“Hey!,” I winced.

“You deserved it! One-hundred percent deserved that Rami!”

I couldn’t help but let out a long string of silent chuckles as I held my hand to my heart in an attempt to calm myself, but she had a much better way of bringing me back to the situation.

Her legs, once again, became tangled up around my waist as she pulled my body downwards and luckily I caught myself with my arms to hold up my spare weight and not crush her.

We both smiled at one another as I combed my fingers through her hair, making the locks fan out across her head like a halo encapsulating her face.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Though my words seemed cliche and maybe they were, they held my inner most true feelings for this stunning creature below me that still managed to keep me memorized.

“Shut up,'' she said between a laugh and a smile as she used her hand to push my head down towards her and press our lips together.

This time the kiss was much more heated and less simple and sweet. It was passionate and loving and sexy all rolled into a glorious triad as we began to get lost and found all at the same time as we fell into our old rhythm of being intimate with one another. Naturally, our bodies began to move against one another, causing me to elicit a sort of primal noise as I pressed my mouth even further against her lips.

We stayed like that for awhile; me pressing my hips down into hers, her responding immediately by pressing her hips upwards until we met in the middle and gave each other the friction we were teasing one another with. However, once she started whimpering against my lips, I couldn’t help myself anymore. I just wanted to feel her as close as humanly possible and I wasn’t letting me or her deprive ourselves of it any longer.

I sat my body up with my weight balanced on my knees while my hands began to busy themselves as they smoothed down the middle of her chest, down her stomach, and to the top of her panties. She assisted me by pressing her thighs together and lifting her bent knees and hips in the air to allow me to roll the fabric off of her hips and down her legs until I was tossing the flimsiness to the ground.

I began to reach down towards the waist of my sweatpants and slip the fabric off of my lower half until I too was left just as bare as she was. Then, I felt her delicate fingers dance along my stomach--I hadn’t noticed until now that she had sat up and must’ve watched me shimmy out of my remaining clothing items, but she seemed to be enjoying herself quite nicely as she traced the indents of my stomach muscles until she was skating her fingertips across the line of hair resting against my lower stomach.

I’m sure she felt as my body tensed with pleasure beneath her, but it didn’t keep her from losing track of her trail ahead. Her hands moved to my hips, letting both of them feel the deeply carved indents that created an upside triangle shape into my skin, but her touch didn’t stay there for long. One of her hands remained on my hip, keeping me grounded, as her other one moved to exactly where I wanted her to touch me the most and I couldn’t help but sigh loudly at the feeling of her palm wrapped tightly around me.

I began to close my eyes, relishing in this much missed feeling and loving that she was the one making me feel this pleasure, but I was also more than ready, both physically and mentally, to feel her to the fullest extent. Quickly, I opened my eyes back up and gently placed my hands on top of hers as I slowly pinned her hands to the mattress.

“You really, really missed me, huh?,” she taunted as she playfully stuck her tongue out from between her teeth.

I shook my head as I resumed back into my position of hovering over her and without saying a word, I grabbed ahold of my member and pressed it against her wetness. Instantly, her playful smirk was replaced with squinted eyes and lips pressed together as she held in a noise that surely was threatening to vibrate off of the paper thin walls.

I started off slow, making sure that we were both comfortable with one another, as I slide inside of her with one paced motion. Her nails instantly dug into my arms as she threw her head back in pleasure, finally letting out a noise that was more than pleasing to both my ears and my hardening member. I let myself fall backwards, nearly slipping completely out of her before I repeated the motion and once I could tell she was enjoying this just as much as I was, I created a steady rhythm for the both of us.

Our foreheads were nearly touching as I thrust my hard cock into her, this time with a little more force, but nothing rough in nature. She seemed more than pleased as she moved her hips upward to meet my movements and I couldn’t help but laugh quietly to myself. Maybe she really, really missed me too, huh?

I could tell she was nearly close to reaching her climax already, but holding off and I was doing the exact same. She was clenching all around me and, my god, the noises she was making alone surely could’ve gotten me there; I wanted nothing more than to finish off and feel that pleasure that she always made me reach, but savoring this closeness and intimacy with her was much more important to me right now. I began to slow my movements down just slightly and she took note of this as she looked at me with the slightest bit of concern that screamed “what's wrong”.

My eyes softened at the comforting look on her face as she brought one of her hands up to my sweaty cheek.

“You okay?”

“Perfect actually.” She looked less than satisfied with my answer as her eyes blinked quickly--she couldn’t have looked more adorable if she had tried.

“Just want to enjoy this as long as I can,” I somehow was able to mutter, though it was surely smothered in heavy breaths and spaced out words.

She partially nodded as her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, “Told ya you missed me”.

Of course I missed her and of course I missed this, but I knew she was merely tugging at her ego and letting me know that she was still the sarcastic, beautiful woman that I fell in love with years ago. And truly, she was just that-- I couldn’t have been happier to be so deeply immersed and in love with a human being than her if I tried.

Tag: @lovelymalekk @mezzomercury @amcquivey @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @rogers-wristbands @deacytits @ramimedley

#ramimalek #rami malek #rami malek fic #rami malek smut #rami malek fluff

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necrowriter · 4 years

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monday thing: april 27th (the myriad challenges of growing)

it is the last Monday in April, warm and sunny today after a cool, wet weekend. many of the trees in the back woods were hit badly by a late, hard frost, which has made the view outside my window look oddly like early hot autumn. there are so many young green leaves gone brown and dead. the poplar tree in particular is all over brown and I worry about it. but today there is a lot of green out there glowing soft in the sun, so I will take that as a good sign.

it seems like a good day to think about gardening.

for a lot of my life I have thought of myself as having a black thumb, unable to grow anything. I kept plants in my dorm rooms all throughout college, lined up on sunny windowsills and carefully packed back and forth at the end of every semester. some of them lasted longer than others, but they all died in the end. I still remember bemoaning the loss of a mint plant to a friend and getting the incredulous response how did you kill mint?

during my last semester I had a labor position at the college greenhouses. for reasons too lengthy and bothersome to go into here, I had to stay on an extra semester in the fall and graduated in December. also for entirely different reasons too lengthy and bothersome to go into here, I was determined to not spend that semester working in the same place I'd been in for the last several semesters. the greenhouses weren't my first choice, but it was the first one that was willing to accept someone coming in new for only one semester.

bit of a misnomer, that: the 'greenhouses' were one glass greenhouse, several plastic hoop houses, and a few assorted small fields, along with a processing and packing building; a small shed-like building with a bathroom, an office, a sink and a fridge where we kept water bottles and a pitcher of gatorade; and a clearing in the woods that was home to a truly enormous amount of compost-in-progress. they grew produce and herbs, which were either sold locally or used by the college cafeteria.

working there left an impression on me, I think.

it was hard work, and I'm not a very physically sturdy kind of person. I also have no tolerance for heat, and more of that semester was hot than it wasn't; it was worst at the beginning, in late August, where I often found myself out working in the mid-90s, a temperature range I can barely abide sitting still in. even when the hottest days were past, that tail-end of summer clung on tight for a long time afterward. days warm enough to need a cold wet bandanna tied around my head popped up well into November.

it brought out a fear in me that is rarely far away: of falling behind, being lazy, not being up to the task. I was sure that I would find myself getting told off for not working hard enough, or accused of shirking. but it didn't happen.

"it is pretty hot out here," my supervisor said when I started getting sick on one of my first days on the job, out picking tomatoes with her in one of the fields. "you better go sit in the truck for a bit and drink some water. don't pass out on me."

I sat in the truck and drank some water, and did not pass out. we finished picking the tomatoes, and went back and sat outside the office-shed and drank cold gatorade. never in my life had gatorade tasted so good.

the other thing I discovered was that I liked gardening.

it seems a bit of a cliche but I was surprised to find how much satisfaction I got from watching seeds that I had planted start to sprout, or helping harvest enough butternut squash to fill up the back of the pickup truck. I worked through podcasts and audio books while weeding plots in the hoop houses or washing and boxing sweet potatoes alone in the packing house on a cold Saturday morning. I helped plant things, and water things, and pick things. it was hard sometimes, but I was able to do it.

then I graduated, packed up the houseplants from my dorm room windowsill, and went home, and watched them die.

well, I suppose a part of it's this: when you're having a hard enough time looking after yourself, it's perhaps not surprising to find yourself struggling to look after anything else as well.

sometimes it's easier. sometimes you need to look after something else; sometimes watching something else grow gives you what you just don't get from the care and keeping of your own self. but sometimes it just becomes another task on a list that already feels too long to bear.

but there have been other obstacles, and it's only in looking back now that I'm starting to piece together what they were.

so let's talk about ADHD and houseplants.

it wasn't something I knew I was dealing with while I cried over homework and watched my plants die on the windowsill in college. depression and anxiety, sure. I figured that much out well before I was ever actually diagnosed with either one. but ADHD was not a consideration at the time. sometimes I would look at a list of symptoms and think could it be...? but then I would shake my head, close the tab, and admonish myself that surely having ADHD did not look like getting straight As and showing up to all your classes on time, no matter how many anxiety spirals you went down at one in the morning.

so if I didn't realize ADHD was a problem there, you can bet I didn't realize it might have anything to do with the plants. I just kept admonishing myself over and over: come on, just remember to water them. is that really so hard? surely you can do it if you try.

when I finally got my diagnosis I started thinking: well. hm. maybe that explains something.

memory is the most obvious thing that comes to mind. remember to water them, or remember that you did water them so don't do it again now or they'll drown. remember to put this one out in the sun, and take that one away. did you repot that one like you were going to? no, you didn't, and it's been a week. have you ever fertilized any of these? lord! I'll do it when I've finished this paper. it's half past midnight. I'm going to bed.

etc.

but--like most things that have to do with ADHD, as I've been perpetually discovering the past two years--it's a bit more complicated than that.

you get a plant. you saw it at Lowe's, or Wal-Mart, or Trader Joe's, or the nursery while your mom was buying tomatoes, and you knew you probably shouldn't have, but you couldn't resist. you want to try again. you always want to try again. so now you have a plant, and you don't know much about gardening but you at least know that the tight little plastic pot it came in is probably not optimal growing conditions for anything, so you'd better do something about that.

only, you don't know what this particular plant needs and you don't have anyone on hand to ask. so you have to look it up. you google it. (if you're lucky enough to know what it is--if not, you have to find out, setting you back even further.) you find several websites with information about this plant. you open one. you stare at it. you go back and look at another one. you stare at that one for a while too. the information is not entering your brain. all of these websites seem to have slightly different information. you try to coalesce this mix of information into a series of steps you can follow and fail utterly. at this point you probably close your laptop and, now too frustrated to think about this anymore, decide you'll get back to this later.

(you probably will not.)

ADHD makes it hard to do anything that requires a series of steps. on bad days, this includes things like making lunch or taking a shower. you sit there thinking about how many different things you have to do to make a sandwich (get the bread out, get the peanut butter out, get a knife, get a plate, put the peanut butter on the bread, god, it never ends) and each step feels like its own task entirely and it's just too damn much to even think about so you sit there and scroll tumblr endlessly while getting progressively hungrier and crankier.

that difficulty increases tenfold if the steps required aren't clear to you. if you have to actually work out what they are yourself? and then go do them?

forget it!

and then--and then!--you have to retain that information. you have to remember for each plant: this is what it needs, and this is what I need to do and this is when I need to do it. the plant is not much help in this regard. the plant will not shout at you in the morning like a hungry cat, nor will it pop up a handy notification telling you when it is too dry or too wet or has had too much sun or not enough. certainly there are some indications it will give you--but you have to know how to read those, too, which brings us back to the first problem.

the amount of information you need to be able to keep in your head about a plant may not seem like very much. certainly it apparently isn't to many people, or we wouldn't have gardens in the first place. but ADHD doesn't tend to give you a choice about what knowledge you're going to be able to hold onto well enough for any of it to be useful. sometimes you can read up on something and then the moment you look away from the page, it's gone. sometimes you can take in the information, but will only be able to recall it at erratic times, which will almost never be when you actually need to do so. and sometimes you will absorb an astounding amount of information, but this will almost always be about something like Pokemon which has fairly limited applications for everyday life. if I could remember and reliably access as much information about my plants as I can about the making of the Lord of the Rings movies, I'd never be in this mess in the first place.

suffice to say, while remembering to water the dang things was a significant problem, it certainly wasn't the only one.

and that, I eventually realized, was why I could garden just fine at the college greenhouses, but couldn't seem to do so on my own. it wasn't--as I'd started to suspect--that I had some foul curse on me that killed everything I touched. I didn't radiate something that killed off any plants in my radius. and I wasn't incapable of doing the tasks required, or of understanding what those tasks were and why they were important. it was figuring it all out for myself, and then remembering it, that was getting in my way. when I showed up to work at the greenhouses, I was told what I needed to do that day, and if I didn't know how to do it, I'd be told that. and, barring the occasional problem of heat sickness or sensory overload while dumping food waste in the compost piles, I could go do the job just fine.

when I look back at that semester, I realize it didn't only teach me that I could do gardening, and get enjoyment out of it. one thing I will tell you about why I left my previous labor position: part of why I was miserable there is that I often wasn't given clear instructions--sometimes not any instructions--and thus spent a lot of time feeling miserably incompetent and behind everyone else. I'd have to choose between asking for clarification on something I seemed to be expected to know how to do, or risk doing it wrong and getting told off for it.

god bless my supervisor at the greenhouse! before giving me any new task she'd check to make sure I knew and fully understood what to do. she made it clear that I could ask questions, and if I did misunderstand something she didn't take me to task for it, just explained what I'd done wrong and how to do it right. it has become a valuable experience to have had as I am still trying to work out what I need to do things without so much pain and anguish over it.

when it comes to gardening, I don't have much in the way of answers yet. I don't know the secret key to dealing with all of these problems well enough to keep my houseplants alive and healthy. I'm still working on that. I'm sure there is an answer. I suspect it may involve a lot of writing things down, and possibly a lot of sticky notes with "WATER ME" written on them.

but I think--for all that I have tried and failed at this many times by now--

I think I'd like to try again.

so maybe I will plant some flowers this week.

and we will see what happens.

#nonfiction #monday thing #monday thing april 27

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essaysbyciara · 5 years

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Old Habits Die Hard| Part Two: Just Be Good To Me

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II x Dave East x Y/N Fic

SYNOPSIS | PART ONE: DAYS BEFORE

Warnings: Language, Lightweight mentions of sexual situations, brief marijuana use

Y’all. I’m so overwhelmed by the love I’ve received for this story. Thank you to everyone who read, liked, commented and/or followed me on here. Taglist is STILL OPEN. *squees from joy*

JUST BE GOOD TO ME

Your finger traces the tattoos that dart up and down Dave’s back, the smoke from his blunt curling around his head as he leans back to inhale. The box fan on top of the dresser can only do so much as you push the sheets down to your knees so your torso can catch a quick cool down. You love watching the sweat trail down Dave’s spine. You try to catch each drop before they hit the mattress.

“I forgot your bougie ass don’t smoke.” You crawl behind Dave, wrapping your supple legs around his waist. Your arms prop up your body so you can get a better look at him as he takes another pull. Dave instinctively starts to caress your left knee with his free hand. Your skin feels like cotton candy to him. You taste even sweeter.

“You’re gonna stop calling me bougie...” You chuckle gently as you plant gentle kisses on Dave’s shoulder.

“You know I like messing with you. Chill.” Dave lifts himself off of the bed. He still isn’t used to your love language. You pout as he walks up to his dresser to grab his phone. You try to weaken the feelings of dismissal but Dave catches your body language change in his mirror’s reflection as you lean over the bed to grab your clothes from off the floor. He realizes it was a mistake to walk away from you.

“Yo. Come here.” You answer Dave’s command, lifting up the sheets to wrap them around your body like a towel. “Fuck the sheets. Come here.” A mischievous grin covers your face. Dave elicits confidence and freedom from you like never before. You walk over to him, hips swaying to the beat of the bass that’s blasting holes throughout the atmosphere outside. Before you can even get within an inch of him, Dave picks you up and sits you on top of the dresser. He kisses you so deep that your legs can’t help but to swing open like a broken screen door. The bass cranking from one of the cars outside sets the pace for your next round with Dave.

“Fuck…”

“My bad, Y/N. These potholes ain’t no joke up here.” Yahya’s not-so-smooth driving wakes you up from your slumber. You look down to witness the silent quivering pulsate from between your legs. This isn’t the first time you’ve dreamed about Dave since you accepted his friend request a few days ago but the closer you were to getting back to Philly, the more intense they became. You grab Yahya’s hand to assuage your guilt. He smiles. Unlike Dave, he needs no help deciphering your love language.

“It’s okay, babe. I needed to wake up. We’re super close to Aunt Jerri’s.”

“Should I be scared about meeting your family? You made it seem like they’re gonna cut me if I don’t come correct.”

“Aye, they might.” You tease Yahya. Your left hand starts to caress his inner thigh. “They won’t mess with you. Aunt Jerri always got the family in line, I’m sure. She loves you already and she’s the biggest test to pass.”

“Good. I really wanted to leave the lawyer that I am back home. Where should I park though?”

You reorient yourself to the surroundings to direct Yahya to the back street behind Aunt Jerri’s house. You already see the smoke billowing from the barbeques on the street and hear the little ones’ laughs and screams. You also see all of your Dad’s brothers on the back porch playing spades and they’re already at peak shit-talking form. “You know how to play spades, right?”

“Don’t let this Berkeley degree fool you, Y/N.” The vibrations from your phone break up your laughter. You open your phone to see an Instagram notification from Dave. You set up post notifications to track him, lying to yourself enough to believe it was to keep tabs on Dave so you wouldn’t run into him at the block party. Your heart knows the truth. He just posted a picture of him and his cousin Pardi posted on his porch. He and his boys are outside ready to play.

“Is that my Y/N!”

“Hey Uncle Ro!” Uncle Rodney -- or Ro -- was a barrel of a man who always wore his Sunday best even in the hottest of the weather. He was a preacher at an Pentecostal church who could drink the rest of the family up under the couch. He pulls you in for a hug. You try not to soak in the smells of sweat mixed with Christian Brothers emanating from his body.

Yahya trails behind you with his hands inside of his pockets because of the growing fear quaking his bones. The spades game has suddenly stopped in its tracks and your other uncles -- Trace and Larry -- and Mr. Reed, who has always been like an uncle to you, start to ice grill Yahya down to his socks. Your Dad must have sent a bat signal from heaven for his brothers to stand tall on his behalf.

“Y/N! Y/N!!!!!!! Heyyyyyyyyyyyy!” Aunt Jerri breaks up the detente at just the right time. She hugs you with so much force that your eyes almost pop out of their sockets. “And look who we have here, huh? You must be Mr. Yahya. He looks so much like T doesn’t he, Trace….”

Trace doesn’t respond, still acting as a stand-in for your father.

“Yahya, baby, don’t let them scare you. Bring your ass in the house.” Yahya feels relieved as Aunt Jerri drags him by the hand into her house to meet more of your family. You follow right behind.

“Trace, you can relax. The dude bought bags of ice. He’s aight with me,” says your Uncle Larry. Trace doesn’t respond, instead throwing down a ten of spades that erupts the entire table.

“Run up to the store right quick, Quaadir.” Dave passes a ten dollar bill to his nephew.

“No, nigga.” Quaadir folds his arms and sticks out his lower lip like it’ll change Dave’s mind. Quaadir is not old enough to be on the corner but he’s talking like them.

“Yo, Pardi. Your son think he brolic. You hear him?! Nigga, what?” Pardi only looks at Quaadir and he quickly changes his mind. “He picking all this up from his moms, man.” The porch erupts in laughter.

Dave needed this laugh. Especially after seeing your engagement pictures with Yahya.

It wasn’t what he was expecting to see when he requested to follow you on Instagram. You looked happy and at peace. The paintings inside of the art gallery where you took your engagement photos looked to be showing their approval of your impending union. Dave couldn’t front: you two looked good together.

You and Dave didn’t go on many dates during your two-week romance. There wasn’t enough time and the time you did have only found you mostly under Dave’s body. The only official date you two went on was when you took him to the Anthropology and Archaeology museum located on the University of Pennsylvania’s campus. He watched you grow in excitement at every exhibit, reading every placard and hanging to the museum docent’s every word. He saw your joy and felt honored to witness it.

He felt the opposite of joy as he read one of the captions under your pictures. You called Yahya “your favorite discovery.” Your nickname for Dave was “favorite”. You were Dave’s favorite and he lost out on you and that hurt like hell. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop scrolling down your Instagram feed. He wanted to see pictures from last summer and of the body, face, smile and the style of the woman who caused him to want to make an entire course correct on that thing called life. He saw that you still had it all. Asking Ariel was such a waste of time and being at this block party was triggering as all get out.

People always talking ‘bout reputation… I don’t care about those other girls, just be good to me … ooooooo

“Just Be Good To Me” cascades down Reed Street in a way that you’ve never heard. You missed this place and this time during the summer when everything stops to allow the neighborhood to bask in delight. It was a feeling you desperately needed last year after you decided to ditch a week in the Bahamas and a week of recuperating at home to spend two weeks at Aunt Jerri’s house. Truth be told was that the Bahamas once had a man attached to it but that fell through.

That’s what led you to go after Dave.

“It’s hot at Hades out here, my Lord.” Aunt Jerri fans herself as she sits on her stoop overlooking the busy street full of barbeque grills, babies splashing inside of kiddie pools and a DJ blasting everyone’s favorite R&B of the 80s.

“Rodney! Rodneyyyy! Boy, toss me a Lime-A-Rita. It’s lit cityyyyyyyy!”

“Mom! Who on Earth taught you about anything being “lit”?!” Ariel’s embarrassment grows at her mother’s attempts to be cool.

“Oh, I’m hip! Too hip to be a square, eyyyy!” She sways ever so gently to “Square Biz” by Teena Marie.

“Ari, leave her alone! Uncle Rodney, don’t indulge her please.” You sip on your Hennessy with ice because, unlike Aunt Jerri, you were free to indulge. Yahya holds you from behind, sipping the last of his Heineken in between fits of laughter. Your Uncle Trace passes another bottle to Yahya as a peace offering and as an official welcome to the family. Your Dad must’ve sent a message to Trace to stand down. Your yellow sundress with a thigh high split up to high heavens is cooling you off as the heat rises from off of the asphalt.

“Y/N … you don’t tell Rodney what to do! I do! Let me be great!”

“You got it, Aunt Jerri!” Yahya kisses your right cheek and grips you tighter. He feels right at home and you’re so relieved that he’s here.

“You know what I need someone to get? More paper plates. Run down to the store, Trace.”

“You got it, Sis.”

Trace’s fashion sense was stuck in 1996; Ghostface Killah and Raekwon would be so proud. Trace was -- and still is -- feared, revered, loved and lusted over. He was the Dave of his time, his roster of women certified. Truth is that he could still build one, Trace capturing the attention of all of the 40-plus-year-old women on the street as he walks down to the store. He still had it.

“Yo, Trace!” Dave hops up from the steps of his Aunt’s house to show Trace some love. Trace got Dave an overnight warehouse job years ago and he’s been indebted to him ever since.

“Peace, king. What’s good?” Dave wants to ask Trace about you but last time he asked someone else in your family, it didn’t end the way he planned.

“Shit, Trace. Just waiting for the street lights to come on so we can really get it in out here. You at Ms. Jerri’s crib? Everybody up there?”

“Yeah. Everybody. You remember my niece, Y/N? She came up too.”

Dave’s mind screams every expletive known to man. He wonders if you came up with you-know-who but asking Trace would open up old wounds and expose a decision that Trace explicitly forbade him not to make.

Dave was Trace 2.0 and Trace knew it. He didn’t want that for his niece so when he saw Dave flirting with you at last year’s block party, he made it a point to pull Dave to the side to ask him in not-so-nicely terms to knock it off.

You worked all the way around that threat with the help of Aunt Jerri.

Aunt Jerri encouraged you to “remember that you’re on vacation” and that “what goes on here, stays here.” She saw the way you looked at Dave. It was the same way she gazed at your Uncle Terrence when she first met him. You were beyond smitten, turned on by the way he walked and talked. Dave could hem you up and pick you up. He oozed confidence that almost crossed into obnoxiousness. You wanted him and couldn’t hide it and Aunt Jerri encouraged to “have some fun with all of that.” She vowed to keep your secret from your Uncle Trace. You didn’t know it would turn into two of the most passionate weeks you would ever have and subsequently the worst heartbreak you ever felt.

“Yeah, I do.” That’s all Dave could muster up to say as he feels his heart boil over. He daps up Trace, sits back down on the steps and opens up Instagram.

Yo. You up here?

Taglist: @yoursoulstea @harleycativy @twistedcharismaaa @dorkskinneded @need-my-fics @ghostfacekill-monger @writerbee-ffs @chaneajoyyy

#yahya abdul-mateen ii x reader #yahya abdul-mateen ii #dave east #dave east fic #fanfiction #old habits die hard

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emptycanoflizards · 5 years

Text

Falling

(Lmao title is a work in progress)

Word Count: 1478

Summary: There have been rumors of soulmates being able to see into each other’s dreams for centuries. They created cool stories and sweet love songs, but they were hard to believe. Especially for Tony Stark, who was obviously a man of science; until his dreams began to get a little confusing.

He was falling. Falling? Crashing. He was being thrown around. Glass was everywhere; in his face, in his hands. Shit - everywhere. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t see. Shaking. His hands were shaking so bad. Helplessness was suddenly washed over him, and he couldn't breathe. Again. The ringing in his ears, the flashing from the fluorescent lights that he could only assume were from a hospital, the pokes and prods in his chest, his face, his hands. It was too much. Too much.

Tony woke up, sprawled out on his sweat covered sheets, his blankets thrown about. It was a solid two minutes in the dark before the man finally got to catch his breath. That was… unlike anything he’d seen before. He was used to nightmares, especially those of the flashback type, thanks to a particular fiasco in an Afgan cave. But this… this wasn’t him. At least, not as far as he remembered. The dream was too dark, involved too many hospitals.

His trembling fingers brushed through his hair, pushing it out of his forehead as his back hit the bed again. His stomach was twisting with confusion as his brain raced to catch up. He’d heard about people having other people’s dreams. The stories were usually of old people talking about seeing their loved ones in the war, or seeing their best friend’s happiest moments over and over. There were even stories of the occasional dirty dream, in weird, reversed ways. But he’d never heard of something like that. Never something that- that.. Traumatizing.

“Jarv,” Tony croaked, pulling the blankets back over himself.

A blue light flashed in the corner of the room, alerting the engineer that the AI was attentive. “Ch-check uh.. Check my brain patterns. I-What just happened?”

With a quick flash of holographic blue light, Tony’s phone was lit up with a notification. “Everything appears to be normal, sir. Are you sure this wasn’t just a bad dream?”

The question caught him off guard. Well, was it? Maybe his brain just freaked out after having a full night's sleep for the first time in years. Maybe it was just a weird combination of his dreams from before. But that wouldn’t explain why he didn’t feel like himself the entire time.

“Completely normal? Like... Nothing out of the ordinary?”

“All scans showed that everything was completely normal; only a surge in *Brain Chemicals* during your nightmare. Shall I research the symptoms for you?”

He nodded, pulling the blankets closer again. “Just… figure out why it wasn’t actually me, would you?” His mind was racing despite how fuzzy it felt. Maybe he just needed to fall back asleep. Yeah. Sleeping this off was probably the best way to go about this. It was, after all, healthier than the alternative of wandering downstairs and drinking or working the thoughts from his head. “Just send what you’ve got to me and I’ll figure it out in the morning.”

The morning came much earlier than he wanted. Yes, he could have closed the blinds and banished the sunlight and slept for another couple of days, but his brain was too active to fall back into his dreamscape.

His blankets stayed snug around his now much calmer body as he wiggled over to the other side of his bed, blindly reaching for his phone. There were 10 notifications waiting for them, nine from Jarvis, one from Pepper. She was a kind person. Still checking in with him on when she thought about it, making sure he ate and slept and everything. They even still went out to dinner every once in a while. Yes, after the breakup, they were a little awkward, but it was more than obvious that they worked better as friends than as lovers. They were able to freely make fun of one another without the fear of over-offending and sleeping on the couch, there were no public appeals to worry about with how they were seen together, the perks were far more than the cons.

He responded to her first, informing her that he had just woken up and would love to go to breakfast at some point in the day, though it might not actually be breakfast by the time he’d gotten dressed.

The next thing he saw was the string of articles from Jarvis. Most of them were from reliable psychology blogs, some of which he was more than familiar with from past dream-adventures; others were articles reporting of vets diagnosed with PTSD who shared their experiences of bizarre dreams where they weren’t themselves. But there was one that really stood out.

“Jarvis, what the hell is this?” He called, opening the page and letting his eyes scan over the annoying font and onslaught of colors. The page was from some hippy-gypsy blog, which was obviously desperately underfunded. The top of the page assaulted his eyes with the words “Soulmates Connected by Dreams” in big, red comic sans. Good lord, did they even try to look professional?

“It is an old theory produced by many Native cultures around the world. The idea is that one would begin to find themselves in the dreams of another. Some believe it is some kind of m-”

“Uh-uh-uh. We don’t say the “M” word in this household,” he said quickly, sounding more fatherly than he’d intended. “This.. find me more of the psych research into this. And send an email to that brain scientist we talked to at the Gala last month. The one that took over after What's-His-Face went off the deep end. Don’t talk to me about this ‘magic’ bullshit.”

“Very well, sir. Shall I tell Ms. Potts that you will not be making it to breakfast this morning?”

Such a good AI. Really, Tony would probably be dead without him. “No, tell her that we might actually be going out to breakfast after all.” Maybe going out with Pep for the morning would be a good distraction. Maybe it would do him good to try and get back into a regular routine. Maybe the good habits would overpower this damn dream.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. It was overwhelmingly sweet- almost rottenly sweet. It made his stomach churn in ways he didn’t want to experience. Next, the fear and the feeling of being completely lost washed over him. Tears fell down his cheeks as he curled in on himself. The wood from the door was pressing against his back as people rushed by. Eyes pierced him with judgmental looks, and he suddenly felt like an absolute idiot for staying where he was. His back hurt. His feet hurt. His head was pounding. His hands. His hands. He heard a voice-his voice?- croaking out in desperation, begging whoever kicked him out to let him in once again. More people walked by, ignoring him or shooting him down with harsh judgment. The physical pain melted away slowly, only ebbing at his consciousness. He was left with mentally numbing pain as the lost feeling he had experienced earlier had nearly doubled. He’d lost everything.

“Jarvis!”

The first thing he felt were the blankets around him. Soft, fuzzy, dark blue and red blankets; the same ones he’d used for years. His pillow was under his head, and his back against the memory-foam mattress. That was second to process. His eyes were drawn first to the windows around him. The city lights blinked back at him as he started to finally catch his breath. That-that was different than the dream. His vision shifted to the blue light in the corner- his loyal companion, waiting to see what he needed. The heat in the room, the hum from the air ducts, the soft whirring from the lights in the hallway. He was safe. He was okay.

God, what kind of a dream was that?

“J, can you-”

“Brain scans have already been completed and sent to you, sir. I’m afraid to report that they are once again, completely normal.”

Tony let a groan escaped his lips as he wrestled out of bed, deciding that he’d gotten more than enough sleep that night. What was with these dreams? Why did they leave his waking state so confused and anxious?

“Would you like me to continue with researching possible causes?” Jarvis asked, concern somehow slipping into his robotic voice.

“Did, uh, did Brain Man email back yet?” Tony asked, scrubbing his hands over his face in frustration.

“I have yet to receive a response, sir.”

Another groan. “Let me know if anyone important tries to get ahold of me.”

He didn’t like the defeated tone in his voice, but at this point, he was too tired to do anything about it. His legs were shaky as he stood and made his way to the bathroom, deciding that a shower should probably do him good. Clear his mind. Maybe.

#ironstrange #ironstrange fic #tony Stark #anthony edward stark #iron man #irondad #ironfam #Stephen Strange #doctor strange #doctor stephen strange #avengers #avengers fic #marvel #marvel fic #mCU #mCU fic

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ichor-and-symbiosis · 5 years

Text

answering a bunch of asks under cut

it is time for me to stop hiding from my 500+ asks akjsdfgh

shigaraki owns a pair of high heels when he is alone to feel extra baddie

okay but there is not a single human alive who wouldnt look hot in a pair of high heels, he’d look so good

Twice just— I fkn luv this man okay? I’ve read your drabbles (idk the words for it) and I just— my heart fkn can’t and his face is so 🥴, but like you know who I think doesn’t get a lot of love? Sir Nighteye. This man just gives me big daddy vibes and I just ughhhhhhhhhhh dAdDy FuCk mE uP ,, anyways I thank you for your continuous contributions to society (it gives me life and purpose 😫👍)

YOU HAVE REFINED TASTE thats the best of both worlds bby, a sweet sub and a strict dom!! nighteye is gud shit but that hair color be wack im sorry

Having bad parents doesnt make you a bad parent. One of my best friends had a horible mother and now she has a daughter. I have never seen a happier child. But I do understand the concern! It can be terrifying to think of being a parent but in the end the choice is yours. Neither is a bad option to take. If you want a child, you can always be a wonderful parent. If not, than you can live knowing that you won't have to bare the burden of that fear.

objectively i know that lol i was just ranting about my feelings, we are not always rational thinkers even when we know the truth

I flipped a coin and now I’m a stripper making $3000 a night so I flipped good

fuck yes dude earn that COIN

If people are sure they don’t want kids can’t they get Permanent castration

i’m sure there’s options but what do i know i’m just a humble porn blog

Imagine being in a cramped car with the rest of the lov and having to sit on tomuras lap because of the lack of space and half way through the ride he starts randomly biting your back and neck and pinching in between your thighs and when you tell him to stop because it tickles he’ll feign innocence and pretend not to know what you’re talking about until you eventually give up and let him be the annoying rat he is

okay but tomura being annoying and clingy and trying to elicit responses from you is so on brand. and the more you ignore him or get pissed, the more he does it. ugh my boyfriend does this and i want to destroy him every time asdkh

your doing great we are all collectively suffering in adulthood but please dont let anyone makenyou feel like you have to have kids and what not before you feel 1000% ready

thank you anon, i dont really feel pressured by others, just by my own mind

Imagine when tomuras arc gets animated he becomes 2nd or 3rd most popular.

it’s what our king DESERVES, hell he belongs in first place, people be sleeping on the best character

Personally I think if I ever did have a kids I would adopt an older child maybe when I'm in my 30s. The majority of older children will never be adopted and really need a loving family. Not to mention dealing with an older child is a lot easier than a kid. You can reason with a 13 year old but not a 3 year old.

that’s a noble goal! everyone deserves a welcome home and loving families

I went to a restaurant to celebrate my 18th birthday a couple of years ago and they gave me a kids menu lol (yeah for 13 and under). I’m 21 now. I ordered a strawberry daiquiri the other week and the waiter just brought over a virgin one hehehe. I thought it was odd when he didn’t card me. Good times man.

jaksfhja you get me ... although kids menus are the fuckin bomb, if i have to sacrifice my dignity for some dino shaped chicken nuggets then by all means

i feel like tomura and afo will wreck u in bed and kurogiri will be all sensual and passionate and twice is a chaotic hentai lord willing to do whatever

this is it, this is the most accurate description of them all

twice is the villain version of kirishima: respect lesbians

yet again proving that HIMBOS ARE THE BEST

you know those green text stories people post from 4chan?? shiggy probably makes those just to flex on his fellow 4chan users because he got laid

oh my god i wish i was creative enough to come up with a green text for him, but i could never quite match their chaotic energy

At times like these I need to turn on post notifications for all these thirst posts that happen when I stop checking tumblr 😭😭😭😭

dont do it man my thirst posts are dookie that dont deserve to see the light of day

Tomura accidentally decays mommas hair again when he's older, and she's married to Kurogir. He flinches, and expects the anger he saw when he did it when he was little from AFO to come form Kurogiri, but instead you laugh and Kurogiri just shakes his head and mutters something about cutting your hair short again so there isn't a weird patch

aawww the wholesome family he always deserved ;-;

someone yeets momma readers wig and litterally the whole villain league rolling up minutes later with a pissed gremlin

this person bout to get that GTA treatment

When I saw shigaraki in chapter 255 I thought he was getting fucked by tentacles and that his blood was just massive amounts of cum at first

i wish .... i wish ;-;

I had a nightmare shigaraki broke up with me for mineta and when I asked shiggy why he would do that he said “mineta’s balls are bigger then your small fucking titties” why, why did my brain have to come up with something so cured

THIS WILL HAUNT ME FOR LIFE how dare you tomura

I just wanna spend an entire day getting fucked by shiggi 🥵

this is the goddamn dream, i dont wanna work or have responsibilities i just wanna be his cumdumpster

gang orca will probably have a soccer team full of kids and is vv proud of it and is not afraid to throw hands with his little orcas

omg yeesss he’s so gentle with them even when he’s roughhousing with his kids and he lets them climb all over him and he pretends to be KO’d by their antics in mock fights and he ruffles their hair and ugh so cute

#this is all i have energy for right now #god there's a mountain of asks left #alison talks

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rivet-ing-titanic · 4 years

Text

May 25th, 1912 - American Inquiry Day 18

Day 18: The last day. You would think that it being the last day and being off of work, I could get this one done on time. But life gets in the way. SO, here we are, to cover the final day of witness testimony, submitted affidavits, letters and “process-verbal” entered into record. Are you tired of these posts? Did you read or like them or find them interesting? Well if you are tired of them, it is just this and a Final Report summary post left to go. Jury is out on whether I will be back next year to do the British inquiry, day by day. (Maybe I should just do it now so each day will be on the correct day, protect me from my own laziness, personal issues and procrastination.) Enough about me, let’s dive in.

Today, testimony was taken on board the RMS Olympic, in the New York Harbor.

Witnesses:

Herbert James Haddock, Captain, RMS Olympic;

E.J. Moore, Wireless Operator, RMS Olympic;

Frederick Barrett, Leading Fireman, RMS Titanic;

Submitted: (All submissions are linked)

Proces-Verbal – E.J. Moore, Wireless Operator, RMS Olympic;

Affidavit – James McGough, First Class Passenger, RMS Titanic;

Affidavit – Catherine Crosby, First Class Passenger, RMS Titanic;

Affidavit – Imanita Shelley, Second Class Passenger, RMS Titanic;

Affidavit – Eleanor Widener, First Class Passenger, RMS Titanic;

Correspondence – Letter from Stanley Lord, Captain, SS Californian;

Correspondence – C.C. Adams, Vice President, Postal Telegraph-Cable Company;

Correspondence – H.C. Wolfe, New York World;

Correspondence – P.A.S. Franklin, Vice President, IMM;

Correspondence – B. Brooks, GM, Western Union Telegraph Co.;

Statement – Mrs. Lucian P. Smith, First Class Passenger, RMS Titanic;

Notable Quotes/Lines of Questioning or Summarized Testimony:

Smith starts by questioning Captain Haddock, about where they were, when and how he heard of the Titanic situation, and what his actions were. He is also questioned about any notifications of ice sightings they received, of which the first they heard was from the Asian on Saturday morning.

“Fear absolutely no hope searching Titanic's position. Left Leyland S. S. Californian searching around. All boats accounted for. About 675 souls saved, crew and passengers, latter nearly all women and children. Titanic foundered about 2.20 a. m., 5.47. GMT in 41.16 north. 50.14 west; not certain of having got through. Please forward to White Star - also to Cunard. Liverpool and New York - that I am returning to New York. Consider this most advisable for many considerations.” – Rostron (read from the record by Haddock)

Haddock then reads for the record, the exchange of messages between himself and Captain Rostron of Carpathia. They discuss location, ice, particulars of letting the appropriate channels know what has happened, Ismay and that they believe it best that survivors do not see Olympic, that no transfer take place.

Haddock continues to read from Moore’s report, detailing how the names of passengers were passed on by a “half-asleep” Cottam, who asked to be excused for his sending. Moore wrote in his report, “during the transmission of names it was evident the operator on Carpathia was tired out”. Cottam had testified earlier in the inquiry that once he heard Titanic’s distress call on the night of the 14th, he got about a handful hours of sleep over the next few days until they reached New York. He was working the wireless non-stop, with and without assistance from an immobile, frost bitten Bride.

Moore relates to Smith that he received seven or eight messages to the effect of a request for compensation for the story of Titanic. Moore makes note of these in his report, however did not reply to any requests from papers such as the New York Herald, the Sun and the World. He also indicates that he was never told not to give out any information, however he and the captain held information back in a desire that it be more accurate.

In addition to answering Smith’s questions, Moore submitted his wireless report (listed above as process-verbal) that both he and Haddock referred to during their testimony.

The correspondence from Stanley Lord that was submitted into record is a letter to Smith in which Captain Lord corrected a statement he made while testifying, which ultimately is inconsequential in my opinion, and probably more of a formality correction than anything.

As you all know, I love a passenger story or affidavit. So instead of pulling a whole bunch of quotes, as I am so wont to do, I now have just linked all submissions above, for you to peruse at your leisure. Is it being lazy? Maybe a bit, but I wanted to end this day, with a sprinkling of quotes, (of which I hope to have not included any similar before) a few thoughts in regards to any submissions or quotes, and my conclusions prior to the final report.

McGough asked a dining-room steward whether there was any danger, shortly after he left his stateroom. At that time the steward told him “not in the least” and suggested he return to bed. Fortunately for McGough, he did not. This seems a theme throughout this inquiry, where immediately after or even some time after, Titanic crew members, such as stewards, were not totally sure of what was going on or, if they were aware, the severity of it. Personally, I believe part of this to be due to the inability to inform due to technology limitations of the time, solved by walkie-talkies and earpieces today. Additionally, if a steward were on watch, and had not heard anything yet, he or she would have no reason to say anything other than everything is fine. I would also consider the desire to not cause panic had some impact as well. Clearly, it would have been helpful if some sort of light or alarm or notification had been in place, for passengers and crew alike, but word of mouth, on an incredibly large ship, with over 900 crew members, some of whom are sleeping, would be time consuming. Time, unfortunately the Titanic and the souls on board did not have. This does not even take into account the time that would have been necessary to figure out the extent of the damage. So while I personally feel, there should have been some better systems in place, criticism of stewards who only passed on what they knew at the time, or what a higher up told them, should be discouraged. (As you might know, I am currently learning more about crew hierarchy and things of this nature in my new book)

“It was reported on the Carpathia by passengers, whose names I do not recollect, that the lookout who was on duty at the time the Titanic struck the iceberg had said: ‘I know they will blame me for it, because I was on duty, but it was not my fault; I had warned the officers three or four times before striking the iceberg that we were in the vicinity of icebergs, but the officer on the bridge paid no attention to my signals.’ I can not give the name of any passenger who made that statement, but it was common talk on the Carpathia that that is what the lookout said.” – Crosby (hearsay)

Imanita Shelley has an interesting story about her accommodations and slight mishap of rooms that happened upon the start of her journey. See above for a link to her affidavit. I would be interested to see the rooms which were referred to. It does not seem in her affidavit that she makes any mention of actual room numbers. This is also the first, I have read, mention of issues with the heat onboard Titanic.

“Afterwards, on board the Carpathia, a first-cabin passenger a Mme. Baxter, of Montreal, Canada, told Mrs. Shelley that she had sent her son to the captain at the time of the collision to find out what to do. That her son had found the captain in a card game, and he had laughingly assured him that there was no danger and to advise his mother to go back to bed.”- Shelley (a very strong accusation that if true is concerning, however others have testified that this was not the case)

“I borrowed money from a gentleman and took this Marconigram myself and asked the operator to send it for me… it was not received… This is the only complaint I have to make against the Carpathia… He also said it was not necessary to pay him, because the White Star Line was responsible. I insisted, however, because I thought that probably the money might have some weight with them, as the whole thing seemed to have been a monied accident.” – Mrs. Smith

“On the night of Sunday, the 14th of April, 1912, my husband and I gave a dinner at which Capt. Smith was present. Capt. Smith drank absolutely no wine or intoxicating liquor of any kind whatever at the dinner.” - Widener

Conclusions prior to the Final Report:

You could really get into the weeds with the last 18 days of testimony, what people/boats had drinking water, saw her go down and thought she broke in half vs. went down in one piece, who was afraid of suction, who heard explosions, I could go on. Part of me wants to do this, I think it would be quite interesting, especially diving into the distant light/boat testimonies. However, I do not have the time for that these days, and you probably don’t either (if you do please share what you find). What I will say, on my last day-by-day summary post is this: If you are a Titanic crazed person like I am, and love the history, the nuances of what went wrong, what went right, specific passenger experiences directly from their hand or mouth, do yourself a favor, and dive into this. The Titanic Inquiry Project is the most complete, well organized, and informative Titanic site I may have ever had the pleasure of using. They link out to passenger and crew and witness bios, they have the particulars on every ship mentioned, and it continues to add more and more. I am not done with this site now that I am done with this inquiry, I still have the British, and if you remember my post about liability, they now have those hearings. I cannot sing the praises of this enough. So if you have a rainy day, and an inquisitive mind, check out titanicinquiry.org . You will not be disappointed. And, if you like, you can use my American Inquiry posts, all under one link on my page, to help navigate, or pick and choose what you want to read.

SEE American Inquiry Day 17 post HERE.

#mypost #titanic inquiry #rms titanic #passengers #may 25 #US Senate Titanic Inquiry #rms carpathia #white star line #history #limitation of liability #sinking of the titanic #one last american inquiry post #i hope #and a kick ass laundry post that has taken way too long #1912

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spiffysixxsense · 4 years

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Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess.

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up?

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol.

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US.

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever.

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble.

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol)

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar.

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in.

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol)

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them.

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family.

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical.

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time.

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really.

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

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