#I didn't know they've been lying about my status all this time

[fruitysoupy]

.

[schoenpepper]

Teeth (5 Seconds of Summer)

Intro: It's nothing but a modern rendition of Romeo and Juliet to you. But Jade will twist the narrative into Bonnie and Clyde, if it means he'll get his hands on the one he loves.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread it's too long for me to give a fuck, blood, gore-ish, death (minor charac), bad bad things, criminals, Jade and Floyd are warnings of their own, implied shmexy times, 100% inaccurate interpol description but it was that or the Red Room from marvels idk maybe the kingsman, the fish mafia are verrrrry bad people here ok, but reader doesnt care, betrayal

A/N: Did I fall in love with Jade halfway into writing this? Of course not. I fell in love with Jade a whileeeee ago. Anyway, this is the first installment of my Twisted Harmonies series, a bunch of songfics with different characters and plots and universes.

Masterlist

Some days you're the only thing I know

Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold

Can't look away, can't look away

Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah

Aren't you just a darling little thing?

Jade isn't Azul's right hand man for nothing; he sees through your facade all too easily. A little too naive for the sexy outfit you're wearing and a little too innocent for the foxy persona you've put up. The police force had sent lots of undercover agents before. Unfortunately for them, none had been as interesting as you.

He watches you stumble onto the seat next to him. You order a drink and meet his eyes, giving him a charming smile.

Ah.

He understands now.

You weren't sent as a mistake. You were sent because even your superiors saw an overflowing charisma that you yourself didn't seem to notice. They were likely betting on him being drawn to you (and you having better acting skills). They've underestimated him again.

Jade thinks he's too far gone to be a gentleman now, but he chuckles and offers to pay for your pina colada. You accept with a glint in your pretty eyes, and he congratulates himself for picking up a cute little plaything for the next few months. He hears out the alias you have and listens to your cover story with a close-lipped smile. When he leads the conversation to other places, he takes note of when you perk up and start shaking off the person you were forced to be in order to get closer to him. "You like that movie too? That's awesome! I thought I was the only person who knew what it was."

"It's definitely one of my favorite films, but it's not too popular, hm?"

"Right." You pout and huff so adorably, he might just take you where you're sat. He doesn't think you're supposed to like the things you're saying you like, but he enjoys seeing you mess up, if nothing else. "You know," Jade takes a sip of his martini, "I have a copy of it on DVD, if you'd like to come to my place and watch it. Maybe stay for the night...maybe have breakfast in the morning...?" He sees you light up and you seem to finally remember your mission, pushing down the bubbly and energetic rookie and projecting out an image of this mature and seductive force of nature.

It's just too funny.

He drives you to his small villa at the edge of town and he pops the CD into the DVD player. He wasn't lying when he said he liked the movie, and he enjoys hearing your commentary on it because it brings him new insights about the plot as well as you. After the movie, he takes you to his bedroom (like a gentleman 💙) and even cooks you breakfast in the morning. Muffins and scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. A part of his attention is on you as you eat breakfast blearily, but most of it is in the file he has on hand while drinking his morning coffee.

[Name: Y/N L/N]

[Status: Recent graduate of the X police academy, honor student]

[Threat level: Unknown]

Jade picks up his pen, looks on as you burn your tongue on your coffee, and jots down a note.

[Threat level: Unknown (near zero, requires further investigation)]

Sometimes you're a stranger in my bed

Don't know if you love me, or you want me dead

Push me away, push me away

Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay, yeah

The second time you meet up with your target is on a "date". You'd spent hours in front of the mirror just to look your most "seductive", yet Jade barely even bats an eye. He picks you up from the apartment you were assigned in his swanky, expensive, customized Rolls Royce and drives you both to this upscale 3 Michelin star restaurant in the middle of the city. You feel slightly uncomfortable because of all the haughty uppity-ness of the people in the other tables, but Jade's gloved hand is placed on the small of your back as he walks with you to the table he'd reserved. "Sorry, I'm not too used to places like these." You smile awkwardly at Jade.

And berate yourself internally because you're supposed to be mature and experienced and whatever.

"Nonsense dear, we're not here to keep up appearances." Thankfully, he's always a very nice person (if you ignore him being one of the leaders of possibly the biggest organized crime group in the world). He even pulls your chair out for you and everything. "I just wish for you to have an enjoyable time. Now tell me about the types of dishes you like, and perhaps any allergies?"

"Oh, I don't have any allergies. But I like chicken, and mushrooms!" You grin at him happily.

He pauses at your words, which makes you think that maybe you said something wrong, causing you to bow your head and stare at the French squiggles you just can't understand on the menu you're holding.

"I like mushrooms too."

The smile he gives you is all too blinding. You've always known he was rather pretty, but seeing him smile like this makes you aware of his insane face card. Him liking mushrooms wasn't on the file (even the international police force doesn't have much on the Leech brothers' files, much less Ashengrotto's), but you're glad you have something else to talk to him about. 

"I even grow them myself."

Your jaw drops and you have to stop yourself from barreling over the table and onto him as words just start pouring out of your mouth. "Seriously? That's so cool! Where do you grow them? Did you learn by yourself? Can you teach me? Do you think I can grow some too? Oh, wait!" You clear your throat and lean back on your chair. You're blowing your cover again, you just know it. "I mean, that sounds cool. Apologies for rambling."

Jade laughs and waves you off.

"No, I like that you're so passionate. You've been to my home before, perhaps you'd enjoy going back after dinner? I'll show you my terrariums."

"Awesome!"

You'll remember to keep up your disguise later.

Your waiter comes by with recommendations and wine, and your date is too sweet with how he constantly asks for your opinion. When you show any form of hesitance, he easily helps you out whether it be with ordering your entree or asking for another plate. Conversation flows too naturally with the teal-haired man and dinner leads to checking his terrariums, to staying up too late drinking sips of his stash of red wine while he helps you make a terrarium of your own, to passing out on his bed next to him.

When you wake up the next day, you realize you forgot to probe for information.

Oh well.

You can always see Jade next time.

Call me in the morning to apologize

Every little lie gives me butterflies

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes

Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Everyday, you get more and more delectable.

"Whatcha' watchin', Jade?" Floyd leans over his shoulder to peer at the monitor in front of him. On the screen is you, oh lovely, beautiful, adorable you, in a skin tight suit made of a fabric that clings to your every curve so wonderfully. You do a turn to evade your opponent and land a kick on their abdomen. "Eh? Who's this spiky little pufferfish? New toy o' yours?"

"Not a toy." Even Jade is surprised by the words that leave his lips, but it curls into a sickeningly sweet smile as he continues. "They're cute, aren't they? Feisty."

You send the other person to the edge of the ring with a punch.

"What, so you'll keep 'em?"

When your opponent rushes back to you, you do a series of beautiful and swift movements to bring them down on their knees. Admittedly, the smallest part of him is rather jealous by the way you step on the person's chest to keep them down.

"Absolutely. They'll make a cute pet~"

"Hah, you're so weird." Floyd rolls his eyes and stands back up properly. "The Interpol'll notice your cameras soon, y'know they're not that stupid to keep their own training grounds unchecked."

"That's why I'm recording, of course."

"Freak."

"You wound me, truly."

For what he'd said about keeping you as a pet, he gets annoyingly ticked off at the sight of you helping up your comrade slash sparring partner. The way you laugh so unrestrainedly and smile so freely, in ways you refuse to do in front of him—your mission target—made him narrow his eyes and memorize the face of that friend of yours. Perhaps the frustration bubbling in his chest was only because his pet was rather uncooperative at the moment, still stubbornly holding onto the shredded pieces of your shoddy disguise. With that, he has no chance of seeing your many facets in the way you'd present them to a friend, to someone closer; because he dislikes that alias very much.

(He'll pull the Y/N L/N out of you sooner than later.)

"Whatever, just make sure to clean up or Azul's gonna be pissed."

"Of course."

He watches your figure leave the training ground and the camera's range.

Jade is a capable man who enjoys games.

And what game would be more fun than turning a police dog against its owners?

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

"And, open your eyes!"

You fidget with your hands nervously, trying to hide your anxiousness with a proud grin. You glance at the spread you'd poured your time and effort into; a typical red plaid blanket splayed out over the grass under the shade of a large tree, a wicker basket with its contents already laid out on the blanket. Finger sandwiches and little jars of pasta and lemon iced tea and tiny cake slices in glass tupperwares. You look back at Jade who you'd asked to dress more casually today for your (you can't really count anymore at this point) date, wondering if he dislikes your little surprise.

"Um, I know it seems sudden, but I made it all myself." You blush and kneel down on the blanket to grab the utensils. "Because, the button mushrooms you helped me grow, they grew really nice and big so I chopped them up and put them into a bolognese, so I thought maybe you'd like to try my cooking!" You feel so embarrassed because why is Jade still so quiet holy shit, though the shame fades when he tugs you into his arms.

"Jade...?"

"Apologies." He pulls away slightly to kiss your forehead. "I am very touched by the thought. I appreciate your effort, my dear, and I look forward to tasting your cooking."

You chuckle and kiss his cheek.

It had felt like a chore the first few weeks, but touching him, kissing him, loving him is starting to feel good. Natural. Right.

It's not. But it feels right.

"You better, I was up from four a.m., you know?" You let out a grumble when he hums so happily, swaying you in his arms. "So next date, you owe me your cooking too."

"Of course, my dear."

"With no poisonous mushrooms?"

"I don't recall agreeing to that condition."

It's so peaceful when he gives you his commentary on your dishes and gives you advice regarding the iced tea you'd made, and there's such a lovely calmness when you take a nap with him after eating, curled up into each other under the shade, your head on his chest and his legs around your own. Everything else fades away when he helps you pack up your jars and tupperwares into your wicker basket and drives you home.

He brings your hand up to his lips and kisses your knuckles with a close-eyed smile.

"Goodbye, my dear. Think of me always."

You close the door in his face so he doesn't see the blush on yours.

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

There's filth in the room, he can feel it with every pair of eyes that is shamelessly drinking in the sight of you. A polite curve to the lips, arm wrapped securely around you, he walks into the gala with the feeling of his favorite handgun digging into his thigh. He expects the night to go flawlessly; Azul would never throw an event that would end up in shambles, and your little organization is far too wary of this party being a trap to actually make a move. It doesn't change the bitter taste lingering in the back of his throat when these greasy middle-aged folks that Azul coined as "business partners" stared at you with their tongues lolling out like mutts sniffing a new treat.

Say, would his boss mind if he committed a little bit of homicide?

"Jade?"

Ah, but you look so sweet, looking up at him nervously. You must recognize the ugly faces, yes? Each and every one in the interconnected web of hell that Azul ruled over. "Don't worry darling, they're all friendly." Jade smiles, a genuine one, sweeping a glance over the crowd. "I'll make sure of it for you."

You seem comforted enough by his words, yet you still slink away into his side.

(Don't you know he's one of the most dangerous people here?)

"Azul, Floyd, this is my darling." He feels you freeze up when he introduces you to his brother and friend boss. His fingers run up and down your back in a soothing motion as he watches gears turn in the two's heads. "My love, this is Azul Ashengrotto. He's my superior of sorts. And this is Floyd, my twin brother."

The word 'love' has their eyes widen for just a split second.

Azul reaches out a hand to shake yours. "My, it's a pleasure to meet you. Jade has told us a lot about you." You smile nervously and shake his hand. Before his brother can full on tackle you and likely interrogate you about your relationship status, Jade gently pushes you off to the crowd with a nasty glare behind your back towards the piranhas circling.

"Do socialize for a bit, dear. I have a few things I need to talk about with them." He doesn't mention the bodyguards he'd gestured to keep an eye on you.

"So," Azul crosses his arms, "love, hm?"

Jade lets the polite smile fade from his face as he looks at them, one gloved hand on his chest. "Is there a problem, gentlemen?"

"You said pet!" Floyd huffs, shaking Jade by the arms. "No fair! What's with the secrets, Jaaaaade? You were supposed to tell me everything! When did you get a partner?"

"I wasn't lying, I just started seeing them differently." He consoles his brother with a chuckle.

"And how are you planning to keep it up?"

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, that person's a noobie undercover, right? Ya' can't hold on to some lousy loyal cop." Floyd rolls his eyes. "Don't be silly Jade, that loyalty's no good if it ain't yours."

"I'm sure he's already thought of that."

"But he doesn't seem prepared to let 'em go, though? A pet's fine, but if it's somethin' else, it'll be trouble."

Jade smiles again. "Not a pet anymore, no, but it's not that hard to train a lover either, is it?"

"What, you truly think that cop will fall for you enough that they'll throw away their principles and ideals for you?" Azul scoffs. "Without torture?"

"You think they won't?"

Azul and Floyd share a look then shrug in unison.

"I don't think there's a lot you can't do, to be honest."

"I don't care, long as you get those annoying do-gooders outta my face, capiche?"

Some days you're the best thing in my life

Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

Then you turn into somebody I don't know

And you push me away, push me away, yeah

It's boring.

God, it's so boring.

If you had known you would be subjecting yourself to petty small talk and the lecherous eyes of sleazy men twice, maybe three times your age, you would've clung on harder to Jade and forced yourself into whatever conversation he'd needed to have with Azul and Floyd. But then again, you don't think you have enough calm to face the Azul Ashengrotto without shaking in your boots (he's rich and evil and super duper powerful!). Floyd you can sort of handle, you do well with violence. Jade you slept with the night you met, so there wasn't all too much about him that still made you nervous. But Azul, that man's smart. You can't deal with wits like that—wits that gave him claws to dig his way out of whatever hellhole he was born in and right to the top of the food chain. He'll blow your cover all too easy.

You shift your champagne to the other hand and nod at your conversation partner.

No you don't get what he's bragging about, and you really don't care. This place is filled to the brim with the very wretches of society, faces you know from the red files you kept at headquarters. They parade around in human skins and even now, not a single person has said anything that even remotely implied ill-gotten wealth or human trafficking or whatever, so you know they're really good at keeping up face.

This one, he's getting a little too handsy.

"I can show you a good time."

You raise your hand to smash the champagne flute into his ugly face (Jade would definitely cover for you).

When did you get so confident?

Two big and bulky men in suits appear out of nowhere—they might be the asshole's bodyguards—but no, they restrain the other man and faster than you can blink, you're alone again with only the echoes of his shouting. You catch Jade's gaze on you from the corner of the room where he's still with Azul and Floyd.

His lips curl up in mischief and he winks.

Looks like your confidence wasn't misplaced, at least.

Call me in the morning to apologize

Every little lie gives me butterflies

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes

Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

"Jade, baby, I think we're lost."

"Nonsense, my pearl. I've been here a million times."

"You should've taken the left at the exit!"

"No, this is a shortcut."

"Jade!"

"Yes, my lovely backseat driver?"

He watches from the corner of his eye as you hold onto your seatbelt for dear life. "Where are we going?! It's not in the map. I swear if you actually get us lost—"

"What will you do?"

You pout at him. "Cry."

"Don't be so dramatic my love, I told you, I've been there before." Jade muses, one hand on the wheel and the other gently patting your thigh. He takes another turn and chuckles. "See? Look at the GPS, we're back on track."

When the Range Rover comes to a stop near a familiar campsite (he was not taking the Rolls Royce into the woods, thank you very much), you immediately hop out of your seat and start to fiddle with the items you'd brought with you. He gets out to help you carry the foldable tent and set it up not too far from the car. "Jade, did you buy new sleeping bags? These weren't the ones we used when we went to the lake." He watches on happily as you figure out there's only one, two-person sleeping bag.

"Wow. Are you cutting corners or are you just that clingy?"

"Whatever do you mean, love?" Jade turns to take out the coats he'd brought along, forcing you into one of them as you whined about its puffiness. Unfortunately, he'd rather not have a frozen lover to roast over the bonfire with the marshmallows. He intertwines your hand with his as you walk side by side on the trail, and he talks to you about safety procedures when hiking ("Do try not to separate, dear.") and protocols ("If you see a bear when I'm not around, say your last prayers." "What if you're around?" "I have a gun if it's really aggressive, don't worry about it." "Why do you have a gun, Jade?") and what kind of mushrooms would be safe to pick without gloves ("In general, if it's colorful, best leave it to me.").

He has such a great time hiking with his cute partner, even if you don't notice his camera taking snapshots every few minutes or so.

With a sack full of mushrooms and other flora, the both of you make your way back to the campsite. He starts on a fire while you set up the foldable chairs and prepare the ingredients for whatever would be dinner. He thinks it should be the mushrooms you had just gathered together, you think it should be something actually edible, and he relents if only because you compromise to add some non-poisonous mushrooms into a stew for dinner. The night ends with your intertwined bodies in the sleeping bag, Jade peppering kisses all over your face as you giggle and try to squirm out of your constraints (the sleeping bag and his arms).

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight, Jade."

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

"I know how to shoot a gun."

—Were the words that spiked your competitiveness with your boyfriend. It wasn't your fault, really, but when that frustratingly pretty face got that smug look that just seemed like it was doubting your abilities, you felt the need to prove yourself. You weren't the brightest bulb in the, ugh, in the string of Christmas lights around the pine tree? But! You prided yourself on your ability to fight. Whether that be with a gun or a knife or just with your bare fists, you'd slammed foes several times bigger and stronger than you to the ground by virtue of pure skill. So to hear Jade questioning one of your rare mastered skills (he would probably argue otherwise) made your blood boil.

So. Shooting range.

You know he's experienced with guns, but you're pretty sure a sniper rifle is new even for him. You help him assemble it and get into proper position.

"My, how scandalous, my darling instructor. In broad daylight too?"

You grimace at his words.

"I'm just trying to get you into the right position!"

"Oh? And what position would be to your preference?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I feel like I've asked you the same question before too—"

"Jade, there are people—"

"—Did you say missionary or—"

"Oh my fucking gods."

"—Perhaps you said you preferred riding?"

You glare harshly at your boyfriend who was giving you the sweetest smile you'd ever seen on his cute face (no doubt to spite you), and you look around frantically in search of other people. Thankfully you're alone. But it doesn't stop you from repeatedly (softly) hitting his shoulder while he laughed at your expressions, sharp teeth showing. You poke a finger to the corner of his lips, which he quickly nibbles on. "What are you, a dog?" He pulls away just to lean back in and kiss your lips.

"Arf~"

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

Your phone rings in the dead of night. Jade groans and pats you awake to answer, and you console him with a kiss before looking at the contact.

It says 'That Guy'.

Jade murmurs out a question while you hurriedly leave the bed to put on a robe. "I just need to take this call, baby. I'll be right back." You answer the phone out of earshot, leaning against the railing of the balcony. A familiar voice travels through your phone and right to your heart. It stirs memories and realizations you're not quite ready to face again; the biting chill of the wind feels similar to the worry gnawing at you. "Agent L/N."

"...Reporting, sir."

It's still muscle memory, the response and the subconscious salute. 

(Is it still muscle memory to defend yourself against Jade, the way you were taught to?)

"How is your mission?"

You bite back the urge to say 'What mission?'. Ahhh Y/N L/N you're just so stupid, aren't you? First ever mission, your first big responsibility, your first big chance to be someone worth something. You look back at the bedroom and catch a glimpse of Jade's shadow on the bed. You were supposed to worm out information but gods, you've never even tried. It's like every single time he's with you your brain starts to melt into a hot pink sludge. "I'm working on it, sir." You lie because there's nothing else you can do. Where can you run when Jade finds out you were only using him? Where can you run when the Interpol thinks of you as a dead man because they believe you've betrayed them?

Where can you go when everything comes crashing down?

"It's only to be expected, such a man should be awfully guarded even against his own. Keep up the good work and remember to report back when you find anything."

Hah. Jade was barely ever guarded against you, if at all. You could've tapped his electronics at any time or tracked every car he owns. You just...never did. And the realization forces you to redraw your lines. You know exactly where your loyalty lies, don't you? You end the call and look at the lights in the distance; the city is never asleep. It's bursting with neon signs and traffic lights, but the noise doesn't reach the safe haven that's Jade's little villa. Start to make plans. Rethink it all over. You walk back into the bedroom and further, to the guest room you'd never once used but has way too much of your things in. In a suitcase pocket that's invisible to the naked eye, you pick up a packet of tiny buttons.

You hope Jade won't miss you too much in bed when you make a trip to the garage.

Blood on my shirt, rose in my hand

You're looking at me like you don't know who I am

Blood on my shirt, heart in my hand

Still beating

"Happy birthday, Jade!"

"Happy birthday, Floyd."

There's blood in the air, early morning in November. Jade looks up from his newspaper at his brother who was happily dragging a limp body into his pristine living room, sack over its head. "Oh dear, I hope you've called for cleanup. I have a date later today and I would rather not have Y/N turned off the moment I open the front door." He frowns slightly and puts the newspaper down. With careful steps, he approaches the unconscious person and yanks the sack off its face. "Is this your birthday present for me, brother?"

"Yep!"

"Well," Jade smirks, kicking the head awake. "I appreciate the effort."

"Make sure to pay me back, 'kay~?"

"Of course."

The young woman stirs awake, but his eardrums are saved by the duct tape that Floyd had slapped over her mouth. She looked around in a panic and struggled against the ropes binding her wrists and ankles together. "Hello there, Agent Assyra. You're my darling Y/N's favorite sparring partner, aren't you?" Jade whispers softly with a polite smile. A hand gently caresses her hair while she squirms. "I think you'll be good entertainment for me today. Oh, Floyd must have exerted quite a bit of effort bringing you to me, I ought to meet his expectations."

"Damn right." Floyd whines as he collapses on the sofa. "That bitch put up a fucking fight. 'M still sore from her kicking, she just had to do it in stilettos, didn't she?"

"I can imagine. Floyd, pass me the box under the cushion."

Floyd hands him a small box with his favorite set of scalpels inside it. 

"Let's see, it's quite unhygienic to do it in the living room, but I don't plan to let you live too long anyway. I suppose Y/N and I will just have to settle for a hotel room tonight." He hums a merry little tune as he made small incisions in her skin, the blade easily digging through the flesh. "You must have a tracker somewhere in your bloodstream, let's find it, shall we? Oh, I've always wanted to dissect an Interpol agent."

"Why didn't you dissect your Y/N?"

"That's not very funny, Floyd." Jade chuckles. He cuts a line down her arm and watches the blood flow down his rug. "I'll have to remember to buy a new rug. Perhaps Y/N can help me shopping~"

"Bah, you're sooo whipped it's gross."

He makes another line on her leg, gently prodding at the layer of skin and looking for the tracker. "I am a man domesticated."

"Happy birthday—um, Jade...?"

He freezes at the front door being suddenly shoved open with a happy-turned-concerned voice, slowly looking at the person by the door. It's you. In a cute sweater with a big box in your hands, hair sprinkled with snow and eyes wide in horrified shock. "Uh oh." He hears Floyd giggle, and the girl under him moves around more to grab your attention. You look at the girl, then at Jade, then at the cake in your hands. Then at the girl again. "Assyra...?" She nods helplessly. He thinks you might run forward to help your fellow agent (who was clearly on the verge of death from severe bloodloss), but the only thing you do is look at the scalpel in Jade's hand, and back to his eyes. You maintain eye contact while you slowly put down your box and leave as if nothing happened.

"Guess you're single again. Sad."

He ignores his brother's words, running to the box you'd left behind.

Inside is a big cake that he assumes is homemade, half chocolate and half strawberry and whipped cream. It looks decent, and he could feel your efforts in the two-colored icing writing out a message on the top.

'Happy Birthday, Jade! Love you lots :D'

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

Another pull of the trigger, another lifeless body falling to a heap on the ground. He looks on expressionlessly as Azul glances at him with a raised eyebrow before continuing to talk to the person whose lackey Jade had just killed.

"As you can see, Jade isn't feeling too patient today, so if you could just—"

He shoots another bullet, just barely grazing the man's ear before it enters the wall.

"Okay! I agree, I agree, forty percent, yes!" The man nods and signs the contract before scampering away with his (useless) guards. "While I do like a good deal, is there any explanation for your trigger happy behavior?" Azul looks at him in confusion. Floyd takes the offending firearm from his hand and pushes him to sit down on the armrest of Azul's big fancy chair.

"The little cop ghosted him, and he ain't too happy 'bout it." Floyd explains as he puts the gun on the table.

"They were supposed to run back." Jade finally speaks, brows furrowing. "The timing was off, it was an accident they weren't supposed to see. Their conditioning was incomplete and if their higher-ups catch a whiff of their feelings for me, they'll rewire my pearl back to being their little hound. They need to be back to me, and fast."

"Sorry, Jade, maybe I shoulda' brought that bitch in another time."

"It's not your fault." He sighs.

"Then? Why haven't you found them yet?"

Jade looks at Azul. "Have I become predictable? Because the men I've sent off, and the camera footage I've been keeping track of—all of them seem completely avoided. It's like they know my move two steps before I do it."

"Perhaps you've truly met your match."

"Or maybe your pearly's trapped at headquarters." Floyd smirks. "Let's go there! Like a field trip, except with guns and bombs."

"Absolutely not."

"Aww, Azul, you're no fun."

Jade leans back against the chair, looking at his phone lockscreen; a picture of the two of you cupping a mushroom with smiles on your faces. He hovers his thumb above your figure. He unlocks the screen to dial your number again. Like the previous one hundred and fifty two times, it only rings endlessly. Frustrated, Jade stands up, pockets his phone, and picks up his gun again. "Don't you have five more people to meet? Get them in." He snaps at Azul, and the man only pushes his glasses up and shrugs. He clicks a button and the door opens. In comes another greasy, balding, middle-aged loser with some eye candy on his arm, trying to look not so desperate.

Jade aims for his forehead.

"Oh dear, Jade's truly in a bad mood right now, Mr. Sanchez. Let's get this over with quickly before his finger slips." Azul drawls with a smirk, pushing the contract forward.

"Sign here, please."

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

"Whoop! On your left, Jaaaaade~"

He clicks his tongue and dodges accordingly, a flying metal bat hurtling through the air. The smoke and gasoline is choking, but the smell of blood could barely even make him flinch at this point. He turns to kick an incoming assailant in the gut, effortlessly catching a handgun thrown his way by his twin. "Jade! Grab the sparklies, okay?" Jade sighs and opens the sack, sweeping the mess of jewelry inside it and sealing it shut. Somehow, Floyd's idea of 'letting loose and forgetting cops that ghost you' was robbing a luxury jewelry store, just the two of them. Sibling bonding time, of sorts. While he normally wouldn't mind, he's been feeling all too ill without your presence.

"Oh pearl, when will you come back to me?"

He sighs listlessly. A shot is fired towards another guard before he goes to pick up a string of pearls and wear it around his neck. Everything just reminds him of you.

"Sirens, haha!"

At Floyd's signal, he lugs the sack over one shoulder and runs with his brother to the armored car they'd yanked from Azul. He hops into the driver's seat while throwing the 'sparklies' onto his brother's lap.

They don't get very far before a barricade of police cars force them to stop.

"That's no fun." Floyd pouts.

"Backup?"

"Nah, it's cool. Let's just spend a while in a jail cell, I wanna see Azul pop a vein, hehe~"

He could almost imagine Azul's reaction to them getting arrested. He shares a look with his twin and they hop out the car in unison, hands in the air and weapons thrown to the ground. His eyes widen when he realizes the person walking towards him with handcuffs was you.

"Jade Leech." You say sternly, tugging at his arms and cuffing his wrists. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law."

Someone else takes Floyd in.

You push him to a police car and just before you can walk off, he helplessly whispers to you. Not a cry for help, not a plea, no.

A soft, hopeful, sickly sweet "My love." that makes you stop for one moment. Just one.

Before you continue walking.

He lost the gamble.

And above all else—

He'd lost you.

Teeth

Teeth

Teeth

Never, never, never ever let go

Floyd's in a separate cell.

He's flattered, honestly. His own cell is so heavily guarded, cameras and guards everywhere, it makes him feel very important. But it's quite boring, only a bed, a sink, and a shoddily covered toilet. He thinks the clothes look horrendous, and he's patiently awaiting his dear boss who would never leave him nor his brother rotting in a maximum security prison for the rest of their lives. But hours pass by and he's getting rather antsy. How long would it take Azul to bust him out?

The lights go out.

He sinks into his little cot and looks out the tiny window. It's barely even dark and they expect him to go to sleep, somehow.

Who sleeps at 7 in the—

Boom!

He sits up with a grin. Seems like it wasn't scheduled after all.

There's the sounds of fighting and gunshots and explosions and screaming. It all quietens eventually, leaving him on the edge of his seat for whichever side came out on top. There's footsteps in the hallway. Blue tinted silvery hair and glasses hiding an annoyed glare—it's Azul. Floyd comes barreling in a second later. "Jade. I didn't expect your depression to be so bad you'd let yourself get arrested." His friend boss unlocks the door and he steps out with a stretch.

"My apologies. I must admit I was rather preoccupied with my loss."

"Then congratulations."

They walk down the halls littered with dead bodies and Azul's men making sure the dead bodies stayed dead.

"Pardon?"

"It was quite difficult getting through the bulletproof gate, much less just finding this hellhole. Top secret, off the grid, heavily guarded and everything."

"Well then, I thank you for your efforts."

They step out of the prison and back to the grounds.

"Yes yes, but they weren't all my efforts you know?"

He sees a familiar silhouette.

"This place is Interpol property, after all."

"Jade!" You run towards him and tackle him into a hug. He can barely believe his eyes, but he hugs you back so tight you start gasping for air.

"Why...?"

You smile. "My name's Y/N L/N, I killed that alias! I graduated from X police academy, but just recently, I leaked confidential information from the international police force to one of the biggest crime groups in the world. It was fun!"

"Fun?"

"Yeah, but now I'm wanted and have nowhere else to stay." You tug on his sleeve. "Stranger, you got an extra bedspace? I just escaped from getting killed by my former mentors and I'm all tuckered out."

He carries you in his arms and kisses you hard.

[osleeplessflowero]

Previous Part🖤❤️💜💙 First Part ❤️

..You're here again. You'd promised yourself you'd stop trespassing on unknown property, but yet here you are, climbing over a vine-covered fence. What would the commoners say if they saw you here?

Oh, who cares what they think?! You've got more important things to worry about. And, frankly, a lot of stress.

You land not-so-gracefully on the ground before standing up and dusting yourself off, admiring all of the differently colored roses in the garden. It's so beautiful here..

You grab the watering can you've been leaving behind, filling it up with water at a small fountain to the right before watering each of the roses with a smile. They've been thriving here..it's such a nice feeling, seeing them doing well. Though, they aren't exactly the highlight of this garden..

Once you finish watering the flowers, you sit the can back down and walk down a path. You look up to see a beautifully crafted stone statue, its likeness resembling a skeleton with a crown on his head. A calm smile carved is onto his face. His hands are stretched outwards, just enough to place something within them as if he were carrying them.

You glance around with a smile, before approaching the statue, stepping onto a platform holding him up and pressing your hand on his cold cheek.

"Hello again. I'm back, just like I said I'd be. I hope you like the roses I put here in the back for you. It didn't feel right for you to be unable to see them too."

You are met with silence, so you continue to speak.

"A lot's been going on.. but at least I know I'm safe here, right?" You smile, lowering your hand before climbing up and lying in his arms.

"Royal life's a pain. I just..need an escape from my duties. There's truly too much expected of me. Having watchful eyes on me all the time is so..stressful. One slip up, and you're done for.."

Birds chirp as they fly through the skies, singing to one another as they pass. One descends and lands on the skeleton's shoulder, nuzzling up against his face.

"Coming here helps me feel better..I can't explain why, but..it just makes me feel reassured. More positive, I suppose. Is it you, giving off that sort of energy?" You ask, knowing fully well you won't receive an answer.

"..It's a bit silly, me talking to a statue. ..Sometimes I wish you could talk back to me..let me know your thoughts on everything..what you've experienced. But I suppose that's only a wish, isn't it?"

The sun slowly begins to set in the sky, the colors mixing between shades of oranges, pinks, and purples. You find yourself rambling on for a good while, pointing out cloud shapes and laughing at your own jokes. Those waiting for you at the castle can keep waiting..this is much more fun.

You slide down, out of his arms, looking down at the words engraved into the platform holding the statue up. "Dream, Prince of Positivity..That suits you." You smile, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the statue's cheek.

The sky burns orange as the sun prepares to face the moon. You turn away from the statue, beginning to walk back over to the fence, when you hear a crack. The ground shakes beneath your feet as you feel yourself tremble with it, turning back and watching as the stone begins to break, falling..off of the statue, to reveal something-- or rather, someone beneath it all.

You rush over when you begin to see a form, catching the skeleton as he falls after losing his balance. ..He's..alive?!

He gently places his gloved hands onto your shoulders, backing up a little to see your face with a cheery, wide grin.

"It's you!" He says, his voice warm and fond, filled with recognition.

"Um..hello?" You say, still a bit in shock. He chuckles at your nervousness.

"You saved me! You've been the one coming to visit, taking care of me and..everything! I'm so happy, I could explode!" He picks you up, twirling you around with a laugh.

"Saved..you? But how?"

"It's a really long story, but..to summarize it, your kiss directly at sunset was what broke the curse placed on me! Now I'm not forced to be a statue anymore. I can move, I can..feel, I- I can talk to you!"

"So then..you've heard everything I've said?" Your face flushes a bit when you think about that as he holds your hands.

"Yes, I've held onto every word. You've been so kind, even when you thought I was..inanimate? I think that's the right term.. I'm so happy I can share my thoughts with you..I've wanted to since the day we met. Well..more like..you found me." He smiles, placing a warm hand on your cheek. It's such a strange sensation, considering how cold he was mere moments ago..

"..It's..nice to meet you for real, Dream. I'm.." You tell him your name for the first time. He closes his eyes to stretch his smile a little in response.

"That's a wonderful name." "You think so? Really?" "I do."

He glances around at the different roses. "You've been taking really good care of these! I thought after I'd stopped moving they'd have wilted by the time I came back.."

"So..this was your garden?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Well, I shared it with my brother. We both took care of them together, but one day he stopped coming by."

"I see..who is your brother?" You tilt your head as he moves his arms away, beginning to stretch since he'd become so stiff.

"Well, assuming a while has passed, he should be a King by now. I'm sure he's..much different than I remember, haha." His smile saddens a bit. You glance away from him for a second.

"..Would you like to accompany me? I'm heading back to my residence, and..I'm sure there's lots you'd like to talk about, right?"

"Oh, that sounds wonderful! Please lead the way." You could swear you could see little sparkles floating around his head as you watch him, smiling a bit before leading him to the fence, climbing over it. He does the same, and the two of you run off, following a path back to your castle.

Some footsteps are heard approaching the garden, followed by the gate unlocking. A few seconds of pure silence pass until a purple flowerpot shatters onto the ground.

The moon rises in the sky as the two of you walk under the cover of trees. Dream stares in awe at the stars above as you travel, a faint glow of yellow emitting from his body. You could compare him to a torch, but just a bit brighter. It helps you see, so that's a good thing.

"So- ..um..please don't mention everything you've heard..I went to you specifically to vent, and.." You trail off.

He replies soon after. "Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to you. I understand what you've meant..being a royal is..incredibly stressful- but with enough drive, you can push through your struggles and emerge stronger than before." He grins. You smile at that idea. Seems he has a point..

"I guess that Positivity label's pretty accurate, huh?..You're really..optimistic."

"I suppose you could say that. I've always been this way. I like to have hope when I can." He holds his hand out, letting the bird from before rest on it. "Hello there, friend!" He chuckles. "Good to see you again."

You smile warmly at this interaction, pushing past some bushes to enter the castle gardens, pulling him through shortly after.

"Come on, you can stay in one of the guest rooms tonight."

"Understood." He grins, more birds having landed on his shoulders.

"Maaaybe get rid of those..I'd rather not find feathers everywhere."

He lets out a little laugh, before gently shooing them away.

.

.

.

"boss, you look kinda..on edge, what's going on?"

"He's missing."

"what? what do you mean, he's-"

"I said, he's missing- Send our best guards out and find him at ONCE-" The King's fist roughly hits his desk in rage.

"okay okay, you don't have to shout..i'll go tell the others."

A door closes.

"This isn't good..he could rise against me. I won't let that happen, Dream.. This kingdom is mine."

[lokis-wager]

So! Adventure is Nigh Season 3 just wrapped up! And Nick said before the show that it will be late Fall before we get any new episodes 😭😭😭 Let's talk about the finale.

Incredible that the entire party managed to dodge the robot army thing and Chezzeric's attempt at a coup. I hope I'm not misremembering anything, but given that the robots are powered by the souls of the dead, it seems possible that whoever was in on the plot to steal the magic scroll all the way back in the pilot might have been the ones trying to resurrect the robot army? Again, if I'm remembering it right, that scroll summoned lots of ghosts, which probably could have been used to power all those robots.

Mortimer was able to get his revenge in some way by killing B's son and watching her kill her sister, which so far, he seems satisfied by. Ngl I was so sure he was gonna try to sneak-attack the queen when he knelt down by her side - but he didn't. He continues to threaten Grinderbin and be extremely secretive about his identity, which means that there's definitely more to him than just being a changeling. It also doesn't explain why Mortimer is so careful about his identity while Musk doesn't care if anyone knows. Curious!

Dabarella was an absolute menace this episode. She dealt with Kalandra, spared her from dying long enough for Queen B to deal the finishing blow, and summoned a god (technically, two gods!) She seems like she's getting teed up to be very important for the next season, too, being part of the negotiation team between the flora and fauna folk. She's perfect for the job :3 but there's a lot to talk about how the party moves through the world. They heightened the tension between the flora and fauna folk, and they have now assassinated a prince. They've been keeping their tracks covered so far, but they are extremely disruptive and often leave places worse off for their presence than better. They consider themselves heroes, but there's only so much they can do before their chaos catches up. They've just left an entire army full of robots to fill with dead souls below the castle, and destroyed B's necklace, which could lead to quite a lot of trouble down the line.

Grinderbin did so much - his arcana check was vital for deciphering the purpose of the robots. He also held Mortimer back from becoming the king of a robot army lol. He continues to reject his noble heritage, and has completely rejected 'schmoozing and lying'. His quick thinking with the statue defeated Latavia before he could cast more than a single spell, and he had the idea to not switch clothes back with Mortimer once they had finished their deception. Just wrapping an arm around Mortimer when he was being threatened was just adorable - he trusts Mortimer completely, despite everything he's seen. But if it comes down to Mortimer, or Dabarella and Sigmar, I wonder who he'd chose? Um. Also. Flora folk are made of other people's souls?????? WHAT???? WAS GRINDERBIN SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE???

Sigmar absolutely fucking tanked so many hits. Without him, they would not have made it through the Kalandra fight. His bone'n'marrow is incredibly cool, tbh, even if it is a bit of a pain to use. He also got to use his spell-stealing gauntlet at last, wooo! Seeing Eggelier just snap and completely bash him across the face was pretty funny lol, after everything they put her through, though, she deserved to get a hit in. Sigmar's first instinct being to destroy the machine was, honestly, the kind of call that I would have made. It looks complicated, looks dangerous, and they're absolutely gonna be dealing with the consequences of this one for a while yet.

Everyone played their characters so well and the final battle was absolutely incredible. This is literally the funnest show I've watched in a long time, I was glued to my seat and barely felt the time passing. Everything about this was worth the wait and I'm so happy we have new episodes now. I can't wait for everything to get re-released and to have all the episodes to watch from start to end. I'm excited for season 4, wooo!

[kingghidorah67]

Finished a fanfic of Httyd x Gravity Falls. Let me know what you think. Please be nice, it's my first time ever writing a story.

While hunting for a treasure that could help defeat Bill Cipher, should he ever come back, Dipper and Ford come across another portal, not man made but naturally formed. "It's not possible," Ford says in amazement, then gets closer to the portal to inspect it. "Uh Uncle Ford I don't think that's a good idea," Dipper says as Ford inspects the portal carefully. "Relax Dipper it should be fine, it seems this portal is dormant anyways," Ford replies with a chuckle. Suddenly as he said those words the portal activates and pulls both of them in. Dipper and Stanford Pines land in a new dimension and are knocked out cold. Two shadows, one a human wearing a fur coat, the other a large beast, approach them. The human takes the two back to his village to be cared for, setting both of them down on beds.

Meanwhile in Gravity Falls, a small earthquake causes the statue of Bill Cipher to crack, Mabel and Grunkle Stan are in the Mystery Shack and barely feel the small earthquake, Grunkle Stan is counting money while Mabel is playing with Waddles on the floor. "Hey pumpkin, do you know where your brother is? I got some more customers coming in and I need a new attraction quickly," says Grunkle Stan. "No Grunkle Stan I haven't seen him since he went exploring with Ford," says Mabel. "I don't like this, they've been gone pretty much all day, maybe we should look for them," says Stan. The two then close the Shack for the day to see what happened to Dipper and Ford.

Back in the new dimension Dipper and Ford wake up to the sound of heavy breathing, as they sit up they see a large black dragon with a red tail. "Whoa, I always knew dragons existed, but I never saw one before," says Ford. “What do you mean by ‘dragon’ Uncle Ford?” Dipper asks before turning around and seeing the dragon for himself, causing him to fall off the bed startled. Just then the stranger that saved them comes back into the house with a bucket of fish. "Oh you're finally awake, I hope Toothless didn't startle you," says the mysterious figure. "He didn't startle me, I've just never seen a dragon before, he did startle my nephew though, but he should get used to it" says Ford. "So what brings you both here my mysterious friend?" the stranger asks. Ford replies “You’ll find this hard to believe but we came through a portal from another dimension, that's the simple way of putting it.” The stranger pauses upon hearing this as if he's heard it before from someone else. “Excuse me sir but may I ask your name?” Dipper asks. “Oh I'm sorry, I guess I should've introduced myself sooner. My name is Hiccup Haddock the Third.” Hiccup then points to Toothless, “And this is Toothless, the king of dragons.” Toothless growls playfully as he's introduced to the newcomers, “I assume you're the Chief of the Tribe then, Hiccup?” Ford asks, seeming rather bothered by the fact that they came from another dimension and it didn't faze Hiccup in the slightest. Normally people would ask how that's possible but something seems different with Hiccup, as if he's seen it before. “Yes, anything you need will be brought to you if you need it, make yourselves at home and tomorrow we'll see if you can handle some dragon training.” Hiccup says hoping you'll take him up on his offer. “That sounds amazing,” Dipper says excitedly.

In Gravity Falls, Mabel and Grunkle Stan, growing increasingly worried about Dipper and Ford's prolonged absence, decide to investigate, with the help of Wendy and Soos, what might've happened to Dipper and Ford, they look for them for hours and are just about to give up when Mabel spots Dipper's backpack lying on the ground next to the portal. “What could’ve happened to them?”, Mabel asks as she turns towards Stan. Stan sighs and replies “I don't know Mabel but maybe this has something to do with it.” Stan points to the portal. As Mabel looks through Dipper’s bag she stumbles upon a mysterious journal page hidden in the journal, hinting at the existence of other dimensions. A few miles away the Bill Cipher statue starts to hum and cracks even more, releasing a faint laughter.

As Mabel examines the cryptic journal page, she notices strange symbols and a mention of a connection between the portals in Gravity Falls and Berk. “Hey Grunkle Stan, what do these symbols mean?” Mabel asks. Stan grabs the paper and takes off his eyepatch “Well I don't know what any of this means, we’ll have to ask someone who actually knows this stuff.” Realizing the gravity of the situation, Stan says “Someone like Fiddleford McGucket.” They turn to Fiddleford McGucket, who, despite his eccentricity, has unparalleled expertise in dimensional anomalies.

Upon explaining the situation, Fiddleford's eyes widen with a mix of concern and fascination as he looks at the paper. “Well this is interesting, and you say you found another portal?” McGucket asks. “Yes we found it in the woods and we think Ford and Dipper might've been taken to another dimension,” Mabel replies. McGucket rummages through his own collection of peculiar research and reveals that he once encountered similar symbols during his experiments with other dimensions. Fiddleford suggests that the portal may be the key to locating Dipper and Ford. Together, Mabel, Stan, Wendy, Soos, and Fiddleford work tirelessly to decipher the journal page and understand the connection between the two dimensions. They realize that closing the portal in Gravity Falls is crucial not only for the safety of their town but also to reunite with Dipper and Ford.

In a twist of fate, the portal spontaneously activates, revealing glimpses of Berk. The group then decides to venture through the portal, armed with newfound knowledge and determination while McGucket stays behind to keep an eye on the portal. Little do they know, this journey will lead them to a convergence of worlds, where magic and science intertwine, and the fate of both dimensions hangs in the balance.

Dipper and Ford, eager to contribute to Berk's community, decide to become dragon riders. “Well I guess doing a little dragon training wouldn't hurt.” Under Hiccup's guidance, they don flight suits crafted with a blend of Gravity Falls ingenuity and Berkian craftsmanship. The suits incorporate new materials from the new dimension such as Gronkle Iron. Their first attempt at dragon riding is a mix of excitement and trepidation. With Hiccup's assistance, they choose their dragons from a diverse array of species. Dipper forms a connection with a swift and agile dragon with iridescent scales, a juvenile Deathsong, while Ford bonds with a wise and majestic dragon that emits an otherworldly aura, a Stormcutter. The training process is both challenging and exhilarating. Dipper and Ford learn to navigate the skies, practicing aerial maneuvers and bonding with their dragons on a deep level. The dragons, sensing the unique qualities of their riders, respond with unwavering loyalty.

As the sun sets over Berk, Dipper and Ford, now fully-fledged dragon riders, share a moment of triumph and camaraderie with Hiccup and the dragon riders. The skies above Berk resonate with the newfound harmony of technology, and the unbreakable bonds forged between humans and dragons. “Haha today was so much fun Chief Hiccup, I had a great time with my dragon,” Dippers says excitedly while holding a few fish over a fire, tossing a few to his dragon. “Yes I agree with my nephew on this matter, today was fun to say the least.” Ford replies with equal amounts of excitement. “Well I'm glad I could get you comfortable in our world, now I recommend you guys get some rest, I know I will be.” Hiccup says while yawning. Him and Toothless go home to rest leaving Dipper and his Uncle alone with their thoughts. “Look at this world, Dipper, it's beautiful, and we've learned so much from these people,” Ford says as he looks at the sky in wonder. “Yeah, I love this world so much already.” Dipper replies.

Suddenly Stan's voice comes from the bushes as he and the rest of the search party emerge covered in scratches and bruises, “WELL I DON'T LIKE THIS WORLD,” Stan then wraps Ford and Dipper in a hug and the others join in. “We thought we'd never find you Dipper,” Mabel says. “Yeah dude you just disappeared,” Wendy replies. As they're talking and hugging Dipper and Ford's dragons come to see what's going on, Stan, Wendy, Soos, and Mabel are taken aback by these large creatures. “Whoa what are those things, Dipper get away, Ford eh I couldn't care less.” Stan says. “No no it's fine, me and Ford trained them.” Dipper replies as he points to his Deathsong. “This is Amber,” Dipper then points to the Stormcutter, “And that is Styrmir,” Dipper tells them. The group then approaches the dragons, starting to feel a little safer. “So you mean to tell me that you trained these creatures?” Stan questions. “Yes Stanley, we could ask Hiccup if he'll help you train dragons too.” Ford replies. Stan's eyes grow wide as he realizes the business opportunity in trained dragons. “Well I… it doesn't sound like a bad idea after all.” Stan says. “Good then let's get you something to eat and rest, we have a big day tomorrow,” Ford tells them. They cook some more fish, eat, have a few laughs and rest for the night.

The next day comes with Hiccup landing next to the group to check on them making sure not to wake the two up. “Be quiet Hiccup,” Ford whispers. “I don't want to alarm you but more of our friends came to your world.” Hiccup, confused, looks over and sees that there are indeed four more individuals. “They'll have to get accustomed to our world and start their dragon training today.” Hiccup says. Ford nods and allows himself a few more minutes of rest before Hiccup wakes them from their slumber. “Ok people rise and shine, it's time for dragon training.”

Stan, Soos, Wendy and Mabel, still adjusting to the wonders of Berk, find themselves immersed in dragon training alongside Dipper, Ford and Hiccup. Mabel chose a Deadly Nadder, Soos chose a Gronkle, Wendy chose a Triple Stryke, and Stan chose a Monstrous Nightmare. The training sessions prove to be both exhilarating and challenging, pushing them to the limits of their abilities. As the days progress, the bond between Stan, Soos, Wendy, and Mabel and their dragons strengthens, echoing the deep connection shared by the inhabitants of Berk.

Meanwhile, in Gravity Falls, something strange seems to be happening as Fiddleford McGucket monitors the portal anxiously. The symbols on the mysterious journal page resonate with memories he thought he had left behind. Flashbacks of his own experiments and encounters with interdimensional anomalies flood his mind. Back in the forest the statue of Bill Cipher trembles and falls apart as the dream demon breaks free. Bill Cipher laughs evilly and looks around. “Oh Gravity Falls it is good to be back,” Bill says excitedly. Bill then flies up as he slowly regains his power. With a snap of his fingers Bill opens another gateway, summoning everything weird into the world of Gravity Falls. “Yes yes, time for some fun, time is dead and meaning has no meaning, WELCOME ONE AND ALL AGAIN TO WEIRDMAGEDDON.” A wave of energy surrounds the town as the weirdness starts to take over once more.

Back in Berk, Dipper, Ford, Stan, and the rest of the dragon riders have no clue of the impending danger. Most of the gang are gathered around a fire cooking some fish and warming their hands. “Oh my gosh I love my dragon, she's just so cute.” Mabel says as she pets her Deadly Nadder. “I think the Gronkle suits me, we're both big and clumsy but we get the job done.” Soos replies, feeding his dragon a few rocks. “What I'm surprised about is how Wendy managed to tame and train a Triple Stryke when it took me and Astrid forever to train the one we found two years ago.” Hiccup says in amazement. “Well it's all about showing dominance and respect, I respect him and he respects me. Ain't that right Stryker?” Wendy says as she scratches under her dragons chin causing it to purr. “Can't argue with that logic,” Hiccup replies with a chuckle.

Hiccup turns to Ford and Dipper and asks, “Have you guys seen Stanley anywhere? He's supposed to be back from patrol by now.” Hiccup's voice is full of worry as he asks this. “I'm sure he's fine, he probably just forgot where Berk is. He'll be back.” Ford says. Stanley then lands next to them covered in scratches and looking angry as he gets off his dragon. “You're darn right I'll be back, let me tell you something, I feed that dragon, train him and everything else good and how does he repay me? By launching me off a cliff, catching me and laughing.” The whole group laughs at this as well as some of the other dragons. “Reminds me of when Snotlout was a dragon rider, Hookfang used to mess with him all the time.” Hiccup says while laughing, he then puts a hand on Stanley's shoulder. “Stanley, he's just playful, so when he does it again, just think of it as him playing a harmless prank on you and laugh with your dragon, your dragon loves you as much as you love him. Remember that.” Hiccup says. Stanley then walks over to his dragon and pets him, “Sorry for getting mad at you Maestro, it won't happen again.” Stanley says as he calms down.

Stanley then sits down with the rest of the group, cooks fish, tosses some to his dragon and eats one for himself. “I'm starting to like this place, this world.” Stan says as he starts to feel happy for the first time in what seems like years, a statement that everyone agrees with him on.

Back in Gravity Falls, Bill Cipher is causing chaos around the town as McGucket frantically tries to hide the portal from Bill's watchful eye. “Come on fellers hurry and get on back, Gravity Falls needs y'all now more than ever,” McGucket says as he finishes hiding the portal, he then runs off to build something to combat Bill Cipher. McGucket then gathers the rest of the town to build a giant mech, using unicorn hair to make it weird proof thereby preventing Bill from using his weirdness against it and unable to take it down.

Back on Berk it's a new day and Soos, Mabel, Wendy and Stan are given flight suits by Hiccup, all of the suits resemble the dragons they all chose, Red and Orange for Stanley's Monstrous Nightmare, Blue and Yellow for Mabel's Deadly Nadder, Black and Red for Wendy's Triple Stryke and Brown for Soos's Gronkle. The group compliments Hiccup's work on the suits and thanking him before they don the flight suits themselves.

Magic and weirdness spreads across Gravity Falls and leaks into Berk causing little to no trouble at all, tiny things like spoons or plates go missing but it's just a minor inconvenience for those that inhabit Berk. As the gang sleeps though, Dipper starts to grow black scales, little nubs protrude from the back of his shoulders and the small of his back, as he groans and rolls onto his side, the wings grow from the nubs on his shoulders as well as a tail from the one on the small of his back, both appendages breaking through his clothes as they grow. The tail and wings grow larger to accommodate for his body weight. When all is done Dipper's tail curls around and his wings fold in allowing him to stay asleep not knowing he just became the first human and dragon hybrid.

The next morning Dipper wakes up first and walks over to Amber, his dragon seems to be startled by Dipper’s appearance but calms down once she gets Dipper's scent.”Why were you scared of me Amber?” Dipper asks as he grabs a few fish for Amber, tossing them into her mouth. Dipper's tail then thumps on the ground startling him as he looks at it, he then looks at his back to see his wings feeling fairly frightened yet curious. “Guys wake up, wake up,” Dipper yells waking everyone up. “Come on kid what could possibly be wrong?” Grunkle Stan asks as he wakes up feeling grumpy. “Yeah dude why'd you wake us up,” Wendy asks then looks at Dipper seeing the reason for his distress. “Oh my god dude how did that happen, guys he's part dragon,” Wendy exclaims. “WHAT? THAT'S SO COOL,” Mabel yells as she jumps up and runs to her brother. “Dipper, how did this happen? Oh my gosh Candy and Grenda are gonna be so jealous.” Dipper's tail and wings resemble that of Toothless and Ford takes notice of this. “I believe we should show this to Hiccup but for now I'll run some tests, Mable go find Hiccup and bring him here,” Ford says as he pulls out tools and devices to see what's happened to Dipper.

Mabel goes to Hiccup's house and explains what happened but Hiccup doesn't believe her as he leaves the house to see what's really going on. Meanwhile Ford is scanning Dipper's body. “It seems that Night Fury DNA has somehow gotten mixed with yours to make you a human dragon hybrid and it seems like it may in fact be permanent. Can you fire any form of projectile from your mouth by chance, Dipper?” Ford asks. Dipper responds by firing a plasma blast at a target from one hundred feet away. “I guess so, this is actually pretty cool Great Uncle Ford,” Dipper says excitedly. “Yeah, that's great Dipper, can you fly?” Ford asks seemingly not excited about Dipper's transformation. Dipper responds to this question by flying in circles around the group before landing on his face. “It might take some getting used to Great Uncle Ford,” Dipper says as he gets up on his feet. Hiccup and Mabel then land next to Ford. “I thought maybe Ruffnut and Tuffnut got to Mabel to pull a prank on me when she told me Dipper became part dragon, but now that I see it isn't some silly prank, how did this happen and why is he part Night fury?” Hiccup asks. “We don't know yet but for right now it seems like the weapon we need to fight Bill Cipher may not only be our dragons, but Dipper himself,” Ford explains.

As the group grapples with Dipper's newfound abilities, the gravity of the situation intensifies. Meanwhile, in Gravity Falls, the weirdness unleashed by Bill Cipher reaches unprecedented levels, challenging the resilience of the town's residents. Fiddleford McGucket, determined to protect his home, activates the makeshift weird-proof mech, hoping it will withstand the chaos.

Back in Berk, Hiccup, Ford, and the others contemplate the implications of Dipper's transformation. Hiccup, always fascinated by dragons, sees potential in Dipper's abilities. "We'll figure this out together, Dipper. Your unique skills might be exactly what we need," Hiccup reassures him.

As the group prepares for the challenges ahead, Dipper's hybrid nature becomes an unexpected asset during dragon training. His ability to communicate with dragons on a deeper level and understand their instincts proves invaluable. The dragons respond to Dipper's presence with heightened respect, forming a unique bond that transcends the ordinary rider-dragon connection.

As the clash between dimensions approaches, Dipper's transformation becomes a symbol of unity and adaptation. The gang learns to embrace their differences, realizing that the strength lies not only in their dragons but in the unique qualities each member brings to the fight against Bill Cipher.

The fate of both worlds hangs in the balance as the combined forces of Gravity Falls and Berk prepare for the ultimate showdown against the chaotic entity. The weirdness-proof mech in Gravity Falls stands as a last line of defense, while the dragon riders, led by Dipper and Hiccup, embark on a mission to confront Bill Cipher and restore balance to the dimensions. McGucket and the people he manages to save operate and make the new mech stand at attention. “Ok fellers, time for the fight of our lives, we just have to hold out until Dipper and the gang get back, I just hope the Shacktron 2.0 can hold out,” McGucket says. The mech with its occupants inside runs towards Bill Cipher's henchmen and fights them to the best of their efforts.

As the battle rages on in Gravity Falls McGucket and the residents fight fiercely to defend their town, relying on the weird-proof mech to withstand Bill Cipher's onslaught. The skies above the dimension echo with the clash of magic and technology as the fate of the world teeters on the brink.

As the gang on Berk prepares for a critical mission against Bill Cipher, a sudden disturbance rocks the ground beneath them. The dormant portal, connected to Gravity Falls, begins to flicker and hum with energy. Hiccup's eyes widen with realization. "That portal is activating on its own! We need to get back to Gravity Falls now!" he exclaims, urgency lacing his voice. The group, including Dipper, Ford, Stan, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, and their dragons, hastily gathers near the portal. With each passing second, the shimmering gateway becomes more unstable. "We can't waste any time. Everyone, mount your dragons!" Hiccup commands as he swiftly climbs onto Toothless. The others follow suit, each pairing up with their respective dragon.

The portal's glow intensifies, casting an otherworldly light on the group. As they take to the skies, soaring over the majestic landscape of Berk, the portal opens wider, its gravitational pull growing stronger. Dipper, flying alongside his dragon, feels the air rush past him as they speed toward the portal. The urgency in his eyes mirrors the collective determination of the group. They navigate through the portal's swirling energies, feeling the pull of Gravity Falls on the other side. The transition between dimensions is swift yet disorienting. The gang emerges on the other side, greeted by the familiar yet altered landscape of Gravity Falls. The portal closes behind them, sealing the connection between the two worlds.

In Gravity Falls, the weird-proof mech withstands Bill Cipher's attempts to break through, providing a temporary barrier against the relentless weirdness. McGucket's ingenious design holds the line as the town's residents fight with determination.

As the battle reaches its climax, Dipper, Mabel, Hiccup and the rest fly through the portal looking at their town in shock as they see it in ruins. “Oh my god the town,” Ford exclaims. “IS THAT MY SHACK?” Stanley yells. Bill Cipher's influence has wreaked havoc on the once-thriving town. The Shacktron 2.0 stands tall, battling Bill's henchmen as McGucket coordinates the defense efforts. Dipper, now a human-dragon hybrid, surveys the scene with determination. "We need to join the fight and help McGucket," he says. The gang, along with their dragons, engages in the battle against Bill Cipher's weirdness-infused minions. The combined forces of dragon riders and the weird-proof mech create a formidable alliance. Dipper's unique abilities prove crucial in navigating the chaotic battlefield, while the dragons unleash their powers alongside the mech's defenses.

As the epic confrontation unfolds, the gang faces challenges and sacrifices. Dipper learns to harness his newfound powers, and the bonds between dragons and their riders deepen in the face of adversity. Together, they strive to reclaim Gravity Falls from the clutches of Bill Cipher's weirdness. The battle reaches its climax as Dipper, with the support of his friends and dragons, confronts Bill Cipher directly. The outcome of this confrontation will determine the fate of both dimensions, and the resilience of the town and its inhabitants is put to the ultimate test.

Amidst the chaotic battle, a moment of vulnerability arises as Bill Cipher, reveling in the mayhem, targets Mabel with a powerful surge of weirdness. A burst of energy engulfs her, causing her and her dragon to cry out in pain and crash land.

Witnessing his sister in distress, Dipper's eyes flare with a mix of rage and determination. The air around him crackles with energy as his hybrid nature reacts to the threat against his family. In an instant, Dipper's eyes and back spikes glow blue.

Ignoring the chaos around him, Dipper charges towards Bill Cipher with an intensity that commands attention. Flames flicker in his eyes as he confronts the chaotic entity, unleashing a torrent of plasma blasts and using his newfound abilities to shield Mabel from further harm.

In this moment, Dipper taps into the depths of his hybrid power, becoming a force to be reckoned with. The air echoes with the clash of their confrontation as Dipper, fueled by a protective instinct, takes on Bill Cipher with an unprecedented ferocity. The battle escalates, revealing the true extent of Dipper's transformation and his unwavering determination to keep his sister safe. Dipper's hybrid powers prove to be a game-changer, as he unleashes powerful plasma blasts and uses his newfound dragon instincts to dodge Bill Cipher's attacks.

As the battle between Dipper and Bill Cipher reaches its climax, the town of Gravity Falls hangs in the balance. The Shacktron 2.0, dragon riders, and the weird-proof mech continue to hold their ground against the relentless onslaught of weirdness. Dipper, fueled by a mix of determination and his newfound abilities, faces off against Bill Cipher in a fierce struggle for control. The air crackles with energy as the clash between human-dragon hybrid and dream demon intensifies. “YOU WILL NOT WIN AGAIN PINE TREE,” Bill yells at Dipper.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang rallies behind Dipper, combining their strengths to create a unified front against the chaotic forces. The dragons unleash their powers, and the weird-proof mech provides crucial support in the chaotic battlefield. In a moment of unity, the gang, dragons, and the weird-proof mech synchronize their efforts, creating a powerful surge of energy that pushes back against Bill Cipher's influence. The skies above Gravity Falls resonate with the determination of those who refuse to let their town succumb to the weirdness.

The final showdown approaches as Dipper, now fully embracing his hybrid nature, stands firm against Bill Cipher's malevolent presence. The outcome of this clash will determine not only the fate of Gravity Falls but also the intertwined destinies of two dimensions.

In a final, climactic moment, Dipper, with a resolute gaze, taps into the full extent of his hybrid powers. A brilliant burst of blue flames engulfs him, forming a protective barrier against Bill Cipher's relentless weirdness. With a triumphant roar, Dipper channels the strength of his newfound abilities and launches a massive plasma blast at Bill Cipher. The dream demon, caught off guard by the unexpected power, is engulfed in the brilliant light. “NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Bill yells as he’s desintegrated. The explosion resonates through Gravity Falls, creating a shockwave that disperses the weirdness and restores order to the town. The Shacktron 2.0 stands tall, victorious, and the dragons soar through the now-clear skies. As the dust settles, Dipper descends, his wings folding back as he lands gracefully. The gang, dragons, and the residents of Gravity Falls gather, looking at Dipper with awe and gratitude. The once-ruined town now stands resilient, having overcome the threat of Bill Cipher.

In the aftermath, the gang, now celebrated as heroes in both dimensions, comes together for a moment of reflection. Dipper, Mabel, Ford, Stan, Hiccup, and the rest share a sense of accomplishment and newfound bonds that transcend the boundaries of their respective worlds. As the sun sets over Gravity Falls, casting a warm glow on the town, Dipper looks to the horizon with a mix of gratitude and anticipation. The adventures may continue, but for now, the intertwined destinies of two dimensions have found a moment of peace.

As the skies clear over Gravity Falls, Hiccup, realizing that his mission is complete and the dimensions are safe, faces the difficult decision to return to Berk. The gang gathers, dragons included, around Hiccup, sensing the impending farewell. Hiccup looks at the group, gratitude and sorrow in his eyes. "I can't thank you all enough for everything. Berk needs me, and Toothless, too," he says, his voice carrying a weight of bittersweet realization.

Dipper and Mabel exchange a glance, their bond with Hiccup and Toothless evident. "You became part of our world, Hiccup," Dipper says, a mixture of sadness and appreciation in his tone. Mabel, holding back tears, adds, "You're not just a friend; you're family now."

Stan, normally gruff, clears his throat, finding it hard to put his sentiments into words. "You did good, kid. Don't be a stranger." Wendy, Soos, Dipper, Mabel, and their dragons nuzzle against Hiccup, conveying their silent goodbyes. Ford clasps Hiccup's shoulder with a firm grip, understanding the responsibilities that pull him back to Berk.

Hiccup, his eyes misty, gives Toothless a reassuring pat. "We made great friends here, bud, but it's time to go home." As Hiccup prepares to leave, the gang shares tearful goodbyes. Mabel hugs Toothless, Dipper shakes Hiccup's hand firmly, and Stan gives him a gruff but heartfelt nod.

With a final wave and a lump in his throat, Hiccup, mounted on Toothless, takes to the skies, leaving Gravity Falls behind.

The gang watches as their friend and his dragon disappear into the horizon, a mix of sadness and pride in their hearts. As Hiccup returns to Berk, the memories of the extraordinary adventure linger, a testament to the enduring bonds forged across dimensions.

With Hiccup and Toothless soaring into the distance, the gang gathers in the clearing, reflecting on the extraordinary journey that brought them together. The dragons nuzzle against their riders, sensing the mix of emotions in the air. Dipper, Mabel, Ford, Stan, Wendy, Soos, and the dragons share a moment of quiet camaraderie, grateful for the bonds formed during the battle against Bill Cipher.

As the sun sets over Gravity Falls, casting a warm glow on the group, Dipper looks at his hybrid form, wings folded against his back. "We faced the unimaginable together, and now we've come out stronger," he says, a sense of determination in his voice. Mabel adds with a smile, "Our adventures might continue, but we'll face them as a family."

Feeling triumph and pride, Dipper roars loudly to the sky, the dragons join in, their roars echoing in a harmonious melody. The gang, bound by friendship and the shared memories of interdimensional challenges, prepares to face whatever the future holds. The intertwining destinies of two dimensions may have found a moment of peace, but the spirit of adventure lives on in the hearts of those who call Gravity Falls and Berk home.

As Hiccup and Toothless soar through the skies, leaving Gravity Falls behind, Hiccup takes a moment to reflect on the extraordinary adventure. The wind whistles past him as he looks at Toothless, their unspoken connection evident. With a sense of introspection, Hiccup begins to speak.

"You know, Toothless, we've been through a lot together. I never thought I'd find another place that felt like Berk. But Gravity Falls, it's... different. The people there, the dragons, the weirdness – it's a whole new world." He pauses, a mixture of emotions crossing his face. "Meeting Dipper and Mabel, and their whole gang – it felt like finding a family away from home. And that hybrid thing Dipper's got going on? That's something I never imagined. But hey, it worked in our favor when we needed it."

Hiccup smiles, a bit of wonder in his eyes. "Toothless, these adventures teach us something new every time. Even though we've got to head back to Berk, I'll always carry Gravity Falls in my heart. It's like... another piece of our world, and I'm grateful for the friends we made." As they continue their journey, Hiccup looks ahead with a mix of nostalgia and anticipation. "We'll remember this place, won't we, bud? It's not goodbye forever; it's just a 'see you later.'" With a final glance back at Gravity Falls, Hiccup and Toothless press on, going through the portal home, ready for the next chapter in their ongoing saga.

[jiminrings]

reading the beyond the story book on pdf because ya bitch is a broke 3rd year college student 💔 and fuck im not even halfway through it and i just stopped by here to say that bts has been through a lot ... i've been an army since 2018 (ly: tear era) and ik the heat they were getting themselves back then since it was just like 5 months after 2017, WHERE THEY WERE HATED BY EVERYBODY ... like seeing them talk about everything behind the scenes of their 10 year journey on the industry is like hell oh lord ... like immediately after they debuted they were already bullied by everyone,,, I MEAN EVERYONE and now im here seeing other stans say that they're the bad ones for telling everything now when it happened like years ago IS SHIT like what the fuck do they not know an autobiography is??? so does that mean if i write a book about what i have achieved through my career like every raw emotion i have been through,,, i'm the bad guy??? for telling what i have been through to get to where i am now??? OH HELL NAH !!! bts are such good people for not letting go of what they have started because they know that we're here by their side always 🥹 i love bts and this fandom so much,,, it gave me a chance to meet good people like you, and everyone else here on tumblr ... it made me see deeper in the surface of what other people say about us and them really ... i really want to tell some spoilers but i'll just drop the link of the pdf version here ... sorry for the rant ms. hannah 😞 i'm just so angry and sad today :(

link for the pdf ver: https://twitter.com/btsmemeories/status/1677957769461374981?s=19

you said it exactly!! i received my book today n i'm both filled with dread and sentimentality to read it because it's literally the record of their youth, n by extension mine as i went thru the years with them :( they've truly been thru so much, inarguably more than every other group out there!!! they were the underdogs + scapegoats of everything they didn't deserve :/ i hate Those People so badddd n like i don't even feel guilty saying i hate both the groups n the fans who've knowingly contributed to all the shit that was thrown at them 🤞🤞 what's rlly funny is that although they didn't name any names, some nugus r just soooo pressed bc they know damn well that their faves r the ones at fault!!! i rlly do love bts n i'll die by that hill because literally No Other group had, has, and will achieve what the tannies have gotten and formed after everything they've been through <3 the community + impact + change they created... the paving n raking n cementing of The Way that enabled everyone else in the industry to have what they do now..... the everything rlly . u can rant anytime to me bae <3 one thing abt me i will have thinkpieces every time bts is involved !!!!!

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse (Secret Santa exchange) - The perfect burger

Hello, hello @indi-swirl! I'm your Secret Santa for this event! I hope you're doing well and that you're having lots of fun during the holidays. I've read through your sheets - looks like we're cheering for the same couples and bois!

I hope you'll enjoy some Vincent x Lovely content! Also, I was inspired by this dialogue so it was a lot of fun writing this fic.

Also, a huge shoutout to @the-sugar-crash for creating this event. You're the best!

Prompt: Fast food

Pairing: Vincent Solaire/Lovely

Rating: T

Triggers: Profanity & explicit implications (Vincent tried to make a dirty joke)

Summary: A stressed-out and hungry Lovely is a feral Lovely. Vincent now fears for his life and their cholesterol level.

-

Vincent stars in his personal horror movie the moment he returns home and finds the apartment eerily silent.

"Lovely?" He calls out, making sure to lock the door behind him. The living room and dining area look just as before he left for a Clan meeting that lasted for two days: spotless and, more worriedly, void of any of his partner's knick-knacks lying around. Vincent immediately checks the time on his phone - 8.30 PM. There's no way Lovely is already fast asleep at this hour. "Lovely? I'm home. Freddie gave us some fruit cobblers; he said there's peaches, plums and blackberries in them - your favourites. Small issue though - he gave us four large Tupperware worth of cobblers, so we need to divide and conquer - "

Suddenly, the lights in the apartment begin to flicker. Vincent's shoulders immediately tense, and his body shift into a fight-or-flight response. In this case, though? He's preparing to retaliate against any Supernatural threat that dares to intrude in his and Lovely's home. Wait - Lovely! Where are they!? Did something happen -

"Vincent."

Even under the threat of death or Alexis' horrible monstrosity that she insists are food, Vincent will never admit that the girlish scream came from him when Lovely appear in front of him like a ghost - silent and deadly.

If his heart were beating, it would've given up on life after that jumpscare.

"Holy fucking shit, Lovely! Were you trying to give me a heart attack!?" Vincent complains, clutching on the paper bag full of desserts for dear life. He didn't miss how the lights settled at his partner's appearance. It looks like Lovely's power has been growing nicely enough to startle the poor Vampire.

"Welcome home, Vincent." The Electro Energetic says, utterly unfazed at Vincent's reaction.

Hearing the lack of emotion in his partner's tone made Vincent wary once more. He studies the uncharacteristically stoic Lovely standing in front of him like a statue. Their hair is dishevelled as if they've been tugging and ruffling it in agitation; they're wearing the same baggy hoodie and sweatpants that Vincent saw before he left. But more importantly, the heavy dark bags underneath their eyes tell Vincent all he needs to know.

"Baby, tell me the truth - you haven't slept at all ever since I left, right?" Vincent asks, putting on his best stern voice as he places his free hand on his hip. His only reference of a stern yet gentle, authoritative figure is Will, but Vincent supposed he could've done a lot worse.

"What is sleep compared to the epiphany that I receive underneath the pale moonlight and a dozen cans of coffee." Lovely steamroll Vincent's inquiry with a demeanour similar to that of someone bestowed divine knowledge. If Vincent weren't so worried, he would be so amused instead.

"Excuse me?"

"Hush Vincent, I'm trying to monologue here."

"OK..."

"Vincent, during these last few days of my self-imposed exile, realisation dawn upon me. A realisation that... shook my entire core. You couldn't even begin to comprehend the emotional journey I went through."

"I think I'm about to, whether I want it or not."

"See, it's a thin line between madness and sanity, as the wise once said. And I... I've crossed that threshold during my long nights of solitude, and before I knew it, I found myself in the arms of the unknown."

"Look, this is why I wanted you to visit Will and Sam with me. I know that exams and the Games are right around the corner but Lovely, you need a break. So how about - "

"The study room became an abyss - a dark abyss that consists nothing but tomes and broken pencils as my mind spiralled into revelation. Something starts taking hold of me! Something unholy and malicious!"

"Lovely? Baby? You're scaring me."

"I writhe on the cold floor, silently begging for a reprieve until suddenly, the pain transform into an old friend. It was hunger, Vincent. A hunger with an intense craving for something familiar, yet divine."

"Please tell me you ate something and not actually starving right now."

"It plagues me until my mind cannot comprehend anything but a single image. It is an image so innocent, yet I know the trial it will bring forth. The blood, sweat and tears that must be sacrificed in order to bring me peace."

"..."

"I want a burger, Vincent."

Vincent immediately facepalmed; he couldn't help it. Lovely's penchant for the dramatics tend to come out whenever they're very stressed or upset, and in this case, it's both. And the fact that they haven't eaten yet? Yeah, Vincent now fears what their evening will bring.

"OK, so... I know you're craving for a burger, but can I interest you in a healthy and delicious option of a salmon ochazuke?" Vincent tentatively begins. If Lovely is seconds away from passing out, he'd rather feed them something proper instead of fast food.

"I want a burger, Vincent." Lovely tonelessly repeat, and the lights flicker once more. One of the light bulbs even exploded.

Fall back! Fall back! "Burger it is!" Vincent's frantic voice turns high pitch. He hurries over to plant his ass on the couch and puts away Freddie's dessert on the coffee table before he takes out his phone. "L-Let's see what's available, yeah, Lovely?" Vincent shakily grins before patting at the vacant spot beside him. Oh god, is it too late to call Sam for backup?

Lovely wordlessly slide beside him. When they tuck their head into the crook of Vincent's neck, the Vampire sigh in relief and wrap his arm around the unhinged yet exhausted Electro Energetic. His main goal now is to help Lovely rest and if fast food is what it takes? Sure, he'll do anything for them.

Meanwhile, Lovely's eyes are glued to Vincent's phone screen as he taps open the food delivery app. Their mind and stomach are concerned only about satisfying their cravings.

"So what kind of burger are we having for dinner?"

"Something... big. The meat has to be thick. Sloppy too."

"...We're still talking about food, right?"

Lovely throws him a glare, and Vincent decides to shut his mouth when he catches a glimpse of a raging storm behind those eyes. Right. No wise-cracking Vincent tonight. So instead, he dutifully lists out every fast food joint available in the city, increasingly fearing for his and Lovely's cholesterol level when the Electro Energetic keep repeating, "That one, please. That one too. That looks good; let's have that too."

Twenty minutes later, and after the fifteenth ring of the doorbell, there's practically no space left available on the dining table. As far as Vincent can see, it's just nothing but fast food and soft drinks. Lovely didn't just want burgers - no, no. They want onion rings, curly fries, tacos, cheesy nachos & fries, hot fudges, ice-creams, and god knows what else they managed to order when Vincent's back was turned!

"I never could've expected that my second death would be because of a heart attack," Vincent murmurs to himself, warily eyeing the ridiculous amount of food while Lovely tears into the paper bags. "Sam's Newborns are going to hold this above my head forever..."

"Stop being dramatic, Vincent," The drama queen themselves interrupts him. Lovely hands him a paper bag filled with fries, orange soda, a bowl of salad and a triple-layered beef burger. Vincent reluctantly grabs it but cracks open the salad only. "Tonight, Vincent... tonight we'll ascend as gods."

"Mm-hmm." Vincent reply through a mouthful of greens. However, his nonchalance soon morphs into unbridled horror when Lovely disassemble a burger and begin piling stacks of meat, onion rings, french fries, grilled king oyster mushrooms and a layer of different sauces between the buns.

When Lovely proudly presents their masterpiece, they smirk and announce, "Behold, I've alchemised the perfect burger ever to exist!"

And as Lovely figured out how to cram the monstrosity they called a burger into their mouth, Vincent hurries to call an ambulance on stand by. This is the last time he left his lover unsupervised during an exam month!

[zerokogane]

I need to scream about certain fics so here are some of my favorite persona 5 fanfics (be warned most of these of not all are going to be shuake and ongoing)

Pt 2 https://zerokogane.tumblr.com/post/652917516478349312/lappel-du-vide-xov-persona-5-archive-of-our

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26995579

Ongoing, shuake, rated M, 300k+

Description:

What do you mean?” Ryuji tilted his head.

“It’s called Just Die. It reduces the SP needed for Insta kill skills like Mudoon or 'Please Die for Me' to zero.”

Ryuji and Ann blinked and blinked again trying to figure out what Morgana is trying to say. He watched as the gears churn in their head and they come to an epiphany, their faces growing horrified at the implications.

“Wait, you are saying. Joker can insta-kill literally everything in this palace. WITHOUT using SP at all?!” Ryuji clarified in astonishment because there is no way there isn’t a catch to this. “Without repercussion?!”

“Yes. That is exactly what I’m saying.”

Or the NG+ au where Akira knows more than he lets on, the Phantom Thieves start to suspect one of their own, and Akechi is in for a wild ride.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767610

Series 6/7 completed, no ships, ratings vary per part. 700k+(all 7 parts)

Discerption or first part in series :Forewarned

When Akira Kurusu is ten years old, his parents die in an accident.

One year later, he comes to Inaba. He doesn't expect to find family there, and he doesn't expect to find a hidden world of monsters inside the TV.

He finds both.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227510

Shuake, ongoing, rated T, 300k+

Discerption:

In the Present...

...Akira and Goro are the famed Detective Princes of Tokyo! They've solved countless crimes and brought justice across the city, gaining allies and confidants wherever they've roamed! As election season approaches in the distance, and ominous warnings are whispered into their ears, will they be able to weather the storm to come?

In the Past...

...two young boys, abandoned by society and family alike, find each other. Will they be able to handle everything else they find, in the years to come?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989186

No ships, ongoing, rated T, crossover with bnha(sorta ? jokers in their universe but he doesn’t know why ) 280k+

Discerption:

“Foolish mortals!” Yaldabaoth’s shadow fell over them like a death shroud, “The sin of rebelling against a god is severe. As punishment, I banish you to other worlds unknown!”

Something changed in the air, like the snap charge of electricity after a thunder strike. No, this was more than that. The world shifted and changed and contorted, the weave of fate was unnaturally pulled by the God Of Control, creating fractals in the flow of time and space.

Joker’s teammates gasped as bizarre, otherworldly doors came into existence.

One, a pair of silver doors with alien markings, cracked open just a hair to reveal a large, terrifying eye. Another, a glowing paper door that would be at home in any vintage Japanese mansion. The third, a grand golden gate decorated with eyes and horned demons, bubbling black sludge dripped from its maw like tar. The final one was a fluctuating cloud of purple and black mist.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27656152

Shuake, ongoing, rated T, 250k+

Discerption:

From a young age, Akechi Goro was forced to accept that life is not fair. When the world is full of injustice and seems determined to throw that in your face at every chance it gets, what are you supposed to do? Sometimes you just need to tear the whole damn system down.

Meanwhile, Kurusu Akira just wants his friend back. He never meant to become a delinquent, much less the leader of the Phantom Thieves, but he supposes he’s never been very good at staying out of other people’s business.

(A soulmate au where writing gets transferred to each other’s skin. As a result, they become long-distance friends… until Akechi lets his jealousy and anger get the better of him, that is.)

( if you turned off by soulmate au’s trust me it’s good and it’s not as big part of the story as you would think, or not used in the “normal” way....idk your just gonna have to trust me one this one if the story sounds interesting cause it’s really good rant over)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26781733

Ongoing, shuake, rated M, 300k+

Discerption:

"Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."

In which Goro Akechi joins the team during Kaneshiro's palace arc instead of Makoto.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30827231

Ongoing, will be polythieves but we don’t know the specifics yet, rated M, 29k+

Discerption:

Yaldabaoth had been told of the Mythical Trickster. He had laid out the plans for his game expertly, all the pieces and threads in place, ready to pull the Trickster into the trial that would determine humanity's fate.

His plan, however, did not account for what he actually received: Twin Tricksters.

No matter... surely, this would not lead the game too astray. Would it?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19818682

Ongoing, no ships with Akira but there is ann/shiho, rated M, 44+k

Discerption:

When Suou Akira is arrested for a crime he didn't do and sent to Tokyo for probation, all he wants to do is live as quietly as possible and return to his family in Sumaru City. Of course, things don't work out the way he wants them to.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31362848

One-shot completed, shuake, rated T, 7k+

Desertion:

'Akechi takes back his initial thought about this being an absolute pleasure to watch as the man, who was only a few mere feet away from Akira, whips his hand and flinging the freshly brewed two hundred and five-degree boiling hot coffee straight into Akira’s face.

Directly hitting Akira’s Glassless bare face.'

Or the one where Akira deals with a nasty, entitled customer and Akechi is perpetually in denial.

(For Akeshuake Hurt Comfort Week, Day Three, prompt: Illness/Injury!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30837995

One-shot completed, Shuake, rated T 21k

Discerption: Pretending is part of Goro's daily life, masks hiding his true intentions and feelings are things he uses very often.

However, the idea of lying about his relationship status never occurred to him.

Yet, now he is in a "relationship" with Leblanc's barista to trick his colleague and the therapist who doesn't know that they don't know each other.

And between medical appointments, dates, and his personal investigations, Goro must now manage the storm that is his emotions when it concerns Akira Kurusu.

Where is the line between pretended and true love after all?

or

A Fake dating couple therapy story where Goro and Akira use lame excuses to date.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

President Joe Biden on Thursday announced a number of new steps his administration will take to try to get more Americans vaccinated and slow the spread of coronavirus, including requiring that all federal employees must attest to being vaccinated against Covid-19 or face strict protocols.

The new measures come amid a rise in Covid-19 hospitalizations and deaths in the US. The vast majority of those individuals with severe cases of Covid-19 are unvaccinated.

"This is an American tragedy. People are dying -- and will die -- who don't have to die. If you're out there unvaccinated, you don't have to die," Biden said during remarks at the White House. "Read the news. You'll see stories of unvaccinated patients in hospitals, as they're lying in bed dying from Covid-19, they're asking, 'Doc, can I get the vaccine?' The doctors have to say, 'Sorry, it's too late.'"

In his sternest approach yet to pushing Americans to get vaccinated, the President bluntly argued that if you are unvaccinated, "You present a problem to yourself, to your family and to those with whom you work."

Biden said every federal government employee and on-site contractor will be asked to attest to their vaccination status.

Employees who have not been vaccinated "will be required to wear a mask on the job no matter their geographic location, physically distance from all other employees and visitors, comply with a weekly or twice weekly screening testing requirement, and be subject to restrictions on official travel," the White House said ahead of Biden's speech.

The federal employee vaccination requirement is not a mandate, officials have insisted, and most federal employees who do not get vaccinated will not lose their jobs as a result, CNN previously reported.

But the decision nonetheless marks a pivot away from encouraging Americans to get vaccinated in their own time and stepping toward placing the onus on unvaccinated individuals.

Other efforts the administration debuted Thursday to incentivize vaccinations included expanding paid leave for employees who take time off to get themselves and their family members vaccinated. Biden said employers would be reimbursed. He also called on states, territories, and local governments to do more to incentivize vaccination, including offering $100 to Americans getting vaccinated, paid for with American Rescue Plan funding.

"I know that paying people to get vaccinated might sound unfair to folks who got vaccinated already. But here's the deal: if incentives help us beat this virus, I believe we should use them. We all benefit," Biden said.

The President also announced that he is ordering the Department of Defense "to look into how and when they will add Covid-19 to the list of vaccinations our Armed Forces must get."

"Our men and women in uniform, who protect this country from grave threats, should be protected as much as possible from getting Covid-19," he said. "I think this is particularly important because our troops serve in places throughout the world, many where vaccination rates are low and disease is prevalent," Biden added.

All military and civilian Defense Department personnel will be asked to attest to their vaccination status, the department said Thursday evening. Those unable or unwilling to do so will "be required to wear a mask, physically distance, comply with a regular testing requirement and be subject to official travel restrictions," Jamal Brown, deputy Pentagon press secretary, said in a statement.

The department is also considering adding the Covid vaccine to the list of required vaccines for military personnel.

"Secretary (of Defense Lloyd) Austin will begin consulting our medical professionals, as well as the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to determine how and when to make recommendations to the President with respect to adding the COVID-19 vaccines to the full list of requirements for military personnel," Brown said.

The President on Thursday also called on school districts nationwide to host at least one pop-up vaccination clinic over the coming weeks in an effort to get more kids 12 and older vaccinated.

Responding to reporter questions after his remarks, the President said he didn't know yet whether the federal government had the power to require vaccines. "It's still a question whether the federal government can mandate the whole country" require vaccines, he said, adding that he expects the vaccines will be fully approved by the US Food and Drug Administration by the fall.

But soon after the President's speech, White House Covid-19 Response Coordinator Jeff Zients told CNN's Wolf Blitzer the administration is not considering a nationwide Covid-19 vaccine requirement.

"That's not an authority that we're exploring at all," Zients said on "The Situation Room."

On Monday, the Justice Department determined that federal law doesn't prohibit public agencies and private businesses from requiring Covid-19 vaccines -- even if the vaccines have only emergency use authorization so far. Biden's aides had previously said they do not believe he has the power to require all Americans to get shots. But his oversight of the federal workforce, they believed, can be a powerful model to other employers considering their options on requiring vaccines.

But several groups representing federal workers across the government are already raising concerns about the requirement for their personnel, including groups representing federal law enforcement officers, IRS managers and members of the US Border Patrol, among others.

Other groups, like the International Federation of Professional and Technical Engineers, have come out in support.

The goal of the requirement, Biden aides have said, is to render being unvaccinated so burdensome that those who haven't received shots will have little choice other than to get them. It's an approach being tested by leaders in Europe, including French President Emmanuel Macron, who required either proof of vaccination or a negative test at public venues. And some states, including New York, have also said government employees must either prove they've been vaccinated or be tested weekly.

The White House had previously indicated it would support private companies' decisions to mandate Covid-19 vaccinations, but Biden took it a step further on Thursday, saying that he'd like to see companies, states and schools move in the direction of requiring Covid-19 vaccination.

Dr. Rochelle Walensky, director of the CDC, said Wednesday on CNN that health passes for the fully vaccinated, such as those used in parts of Europe, "may very well be a path forward."

But the President appeared to put that responsibility on businesses -- not the federal government -- on Thursday.

"My guess is that if we don't start to make more progress, a lot of businesses and a lot of enterprises are going to require proof (of vaccination) or you're not going to be able to participate," Biden said.

The prevalence of the highly contagious Delta variant in the US and low vaccine uptake have led to the federal government to take a number of steps to further mitigate the spread of Covid-19.

Zients told Blitzer that the FDA is certain that Americans don't need boosters right now, but it will continue to monitor the data.

"If they do decide that Americans need boosters, we are ready," he said. "We have the supply, and people will be able to get a booster shot -- if it's needed -- in a fast and efficient manner."

Earlier this week, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended everyone -- including vaccinated individuals -- wear masks indoors in areas of substantial or high Covid-19 transmission. The agency also recommended masks for all K-12 children in schools, even those who have been vaccinated.

The Department of Veterans Affairs also recently announced it would require frontline health care workers to be vaccinated over the course of the next two months.

During his remarks on Thursday, Biden acknowledged frustrations over the nation's slow bounce back and the renewal of restrictions.

"We have the right plan. We're coming back. We just have to stay ahead of this virus," Biden said. "I know this is hard to hear. I know it's frustrating. I know it's exhausting to think that we're still in this fight. And I know that we hoped this would be a simple, straightforward line without problems or new challenges. But that isn't real life. (We're) coming out of the worst public health crisis in 100 years. The worst economic crisis since the Great Depression."

The latest data from the CDC indicates that 49.4% of the total US population is fully vaccinated. And despite a previous downward slope in the pace of vaccinations, 389,963 people are now initiating vaccination each day, according to the current seven day average.

This is the highest it's been in more than three weeks, but it's still lower than the pace set by millions who were receiving shots every day earlier this year.

[cowboylikedean]

Hello! I’m a recent follower who saw your posts about Harry new songs and started following you over those. I’ve seen a bit of you on my dash recently and think we actually got a few interests in common (supernatural for one)! I just read your latest post, and would like to know: did you use to think Harry and xander were dating? Do you think could they have dated or nah? And about spn… did you ship destiel??

Hey anon! Welcome! Just so you know, I don't post that much spn because it's really toxic and not good for me... but you will see some of it on my blog.

Gonna break this up into questions.

Did you used to think Harry and Xander were dating?

Yes. Yes, I did. I said I was here for "whatever was going on," but what I meant was "THEY'RE DATING THEY'RE DATING THEY'RE DATING I'm not going to say it because they haven't but THEY'RE TOTALLY DATING" 2015 was a rough time, and also the best time. I felt ALIVE and ON TOP OF THE WORLD but also I was SUPREMELY miserable and afraid.. I let Xander and Harry's supposed relationship act as a stand in for happiness. When the snapchat fiasco happened, I was extremely upset in a couple different ways. I was upset because the person responsible had lied to Xander and attempted to blackmail him.... Which was really gross and shitty. I was also upset because... If xarry wasn't real, what was? I had myself so wrapped up in the fantasy world where I knew exactly what was going on between them, that to be punched in the face with a reminder that I didn't actually know them or what was happening between them..... hurt. And that's why I used them in my cockles post last night... Because I know that's happening for a lot of cockles tinhats rn and I know that it is.... undoubtedly..... Hard. And Hurtful. The loss of confidence in your tinhat ship can be a very profound loss.

Do you think they could have dated or nah?

Yes. For years, my headcanon for them was on-again-off-again long term fuckbuddies/boyfriends with the most serious part of their relationship in 2015-2016. I still find that plausible. I also find it plausible they're just friends and always were. I used to look at things like the birthday cake and the playing lacrosse on stage and "I'm here for Xander Ritz" "Me too" as undeniable evidence there was something not platonic. Now, I see these things as evidence of love, regardless of platonic/non platonic status.

So yeah, I think they could have dated. They also could have not.

That said, no matter what happened and happens, the fact that they've been in each other's lives for 8 years and seem to be going nowhere is adorable. I love their relationship as a friendship, and I love it as less platonic too.

Did you ship destiel?

lmao anon this is a really complicated question. Yes, I shipped destiel. However, it was always with the caveat that Cas not treat Dean like an enemy or someone so unhinged they were not to be trusted. Cas lying to Dean and not trusting Dean for the sake of it is his worst and most toxic quality, and my shipping of destiel was always Dean-centric. I wanted Cas to be better for him. Ultimately, the writers after Sera Gamble had other plans (Gamble gave him the most beautiful redemption arc at the end of season 7 with all that character growth that came with Crazy!Cas. She is iconic and all other showrunners - including Kripke - suck in comparison). I stopped shipping destiel in season 9 when the whole show was much more of a fight between Sam and Dean. At that point, I didn't give a flying fucking shit what happened with ships, I just wanted Sam to hurt.

I find destiel to be the second worst and toxic ship in spn, second to wincest. And yes, that means I think that John and Mary were less toxic than Dean and Cas. I don't apologize. Cas is an ass who is abusive and likes to hold power over Dean. This is so clearly shown in all the seasons, but most clearly, I think, in season 15. The most "destiel" of seasons is also the season where Cas is the nastiest and cruelest to Dean. This is able to be the case because destiel was never about DEAN and Cas, it was about CAS and Cas only. This is true of the writing staff's opinion of destiel as seen in the narrative structure of the show AND the fandom's opinion of destiel as seen in fannon. Dean is an object in the equation of destiel, not an active participant. And to that I say FUCK destiel.

So yes I did, but always with the caveat that Cas needs to be better to Dean, and then I stopped when that wasn't going to be the case.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Ava

Buster: What the fuck have I gotta lay the law down for? Ava: Oh, and a howdy to you too Buster: Start talking Buster: Mum is really pissing me off Ava: Welcome to the club Buster: Come on, I ain't got the time or the patience for this off you as well Ava: You ain't my lawyer and I don't want you present Ava: I know my rights Buster: For fuck's sake, someone give me a straight answer Ava: God, fine Ava: but this is NOT how I wanted to do this, let the record show Buster: It's out of your hands, yeah, noted Ava: I've got a new boyfriend and they're not happy Buster: What's that gotta do with me? Ava: I didn't tell you Ava: It's someone you know, alright Buster: Who? Ava: Knew, even, back in the day Ava: Your old friend, James Buster: I know loads of lads called James Buster: It better not be the one I first thought of Ava: Well how would I know Buster: Don't Ava: What do you want me to say? Buster: I don't want to hear another word unless it's you telling me I've got it wrong and it ain't him Ava: Then that's that Buster: What's wrong with you? Ava: Nothing Ava: I met him at Kings, I like him Buster: Bullshit, you're better than this Ava: Better than what, exactly? Buster: A fucking married dad, Ava Ava: He's getting divorced Buster: So you're someone's dirty little secret and then what, exactly, a surrogate mum? Ava: Of course not Buster: Just 'cause he's never had any drive or ambition and his soon to be ex is cracked, that don't mean you've gotta step in on either Ava: You don't know him anymore Buster: You don't know him, it's been like a month, yeah? Ava: and who do you think I am anyway, captain save a hoe? Buster: You tell me Ava: No, you think you know so well, go on Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: You're proper acting your fucking age Buster: Don't get me started on that Ava: It isn't that big of a gap Buster: Not like when Nance tried to get on her teacher no, but is that what you wanna be measured against now? Ava: She's already gone there, try again Buster: Okay, try this, it's really fucking hard raising someone else's kid Buster: I know, I'm doing it Ava: Like you said, it's been like a month Ava: I'm dating him, I'm not raising any children Buster: It doesn't matter, you like him, you'll wanna help him Buster: Then you'll get attached and you'll be stuck Ava: No I will not Ava: and he's not going to introduce people to his kids that easily either, he's not an idiot Buster: I don't care what he is, you're being stupid Buster: End it before you're in up to your neck Ava: How am I? Buster: Come on, you don't need the list Ava: Then I disagree Buster: Go ahead, I'm right Ava: Enjoy that Ava: it changes nothing in my life Buster: You think you're grown now, yeah? Ava: You think you can tell me what to do? Buster: When you're this determined to fuck up, I've clearly got to Ava: Focus on your own family Buster: You're my family Ava: Then trust me Buster: I fucking love you, stop it Ava: I love you all too Buster: You told Nance before you told me, you weren't even gonna tell me, what the hell, Ava? Ava: I was going to Ava: I changed my status and she pounced so I just told her there and then Ava: I was thinking how to put it Buster: He's got you lying already Buster: Keeping important shit from me Ava: It's not like that Ava: I am telling you Buster: I'm gonna kill him Ava: No, you aren't Ava: come on Buster: You come on Ava: He's had a hard enough time, alright Ava: and he's not done anything wrong here Buster: He's not gonna be any good for you after being with her Buster: She's fucked Ava: He is though Ava: she's left her kids, you know Buster: Listen, she ruins everything she touches Ava: He isn't ruined Buster: You can't see it Ava: You literally haven't seen him in ages Buster: I'm not talking about him, I'm talking about her Ava: You weren't trying to help him then, when it all happened Buster: You don't know what I did or didn't do then, alright? Buster: Shut up Ava: Don't tell me to shut up Buster: Fucking hell Ava: Calm down Buster: Don't Ava: If this is the extent of the conversation we're gonna have then yeah, we're both too busy for this Buster: Ava Ava: What? Buster: I'm trying to calm down, alright Ava: Alright Buster: Shit happened back then, I'm not proud of it and I try not to think about it Ava: It's the same for him, and lots of people Ava: I'm sorry if he brings that up for you Buster: Yeah, well that ain't your fault, it ain't even his Buster: I'm sorry Ava: You've reacted as expected Ava: Meaningless death threats aren't nothing compared to mum asking if I'm doing it for attention, soz to you and dad Buster: I just wanna protect you, so does she Ava: Appreciated Buster: She's so shit scared to lose you, any of us, but you know Buster: You especially Ava: Rule number one is don't chase them into the boyfriend's arms, is it not Buster: When has she ever played by any rules but her own? Come on Ava: Well I'm not a baby Buster: You're exactly the fucking same as her, is what you are Ava: Shut up Ava: If I was we'd have no problem Buster: Well, I was gonna say nicer but you've fucked that now Ava: I don't feel like being nice Buster: Fair enough, me either Ava: Oh no, however will we cope without your kind words and ways Buster: Do you love him or what? Ava: I'm the one being stupid and moving too fast, now you wanna marry me off Ava: okay Buster: Do you? Ava: Yes Buster: Alright Ava: Is it? Buster: It won't always be but it'll feel worth it anyway Ava: How is it different with Venus? Buster: Everything is harder with or without that cunt actually around to undermine me Buster: I second guess myself all the time, if I don't love her enough, if I love her too much Buster: I'd die for that kid and I have no idea what I'm even gonna mean to her Ava: Yeah Ava: it's fucked up Buster: Caleb gave everything to Edie and it didn't save her Ava: No Ava: How could they let it happen again Buster: I love Rio more than anything and I still couldn't stop it Ava: It's really messed up Buster: Yeah Ava: Do you think you should give her to her dad Ava: full time Buster: He doesn't want her full time, he barely wants her part time Ava: I just think Ava: that maybe that's because Rio wouldn't give her up Ava: he was going to have her, obviously, that was the plan, when Junior was still around Buster: Plans change and he only wants it his way Ava: okay Ava: do you talk to Caleb? Ava: you should Buster: Yeah 'cause that wouldn't be weird Ava: Act your age Buster: That means not being a selfish cunt, no good is gonna come of me raking over his grief for my own benefit Buster: Oh and while I'm at it, let me slag your daughter off for not listening to me, cheers Ava: He probably would like to talk about it Ava: doubt anyone ever asks him Buster: You talk to him then Buster: Be the best step mum you can be, like Ava: 🙄 Buster: Like you said, everything's fucked Ava: Don't include me in that Buster: You ain't exempt, kid Buster: You wish Ava: Alright, then I'm not and get over it Buster: Act your age Ava: Rich Buster: Yeah, I am Ava: Not yet, boy Buster: Take your jinxes elsewhere Ava: Will do Buster: Good Ava: Can report back now, Judas Buster: Fuck that, I don't do what I'm told either Ava: 😏 Ava: Bullshit, you don't want to admit you failed horribly Buster: Fuck you, that's never happened Ava: Sure, you convinced me Ava: definitely not going to do exactly what I want and planned to Buster: 'Course and 'course not, respectively Ava: But seriously, you can't actually lie to them about this because I won't be Buster: Hilarious, I ain't that cunt and I ain't looking to turn into him today Ava: Well I hope they go back to annoying about whatever they usually do and not me then Ava: you* Buster: Unlikely Ava: Serious question Ava: do you think I should let him talk to them Ava: he offered but is that the worst idea or actually might help Buster: Why not? Buster: He loves you too, yeah? Ava: Yeah Ava: but if dad tries to hit him or something as shaming I swear to God Buster: Mum wouldn't let that happen Buster: She'd kick him out well before he could kick off, she knows every tiny trigger even before he does Ava: Hmm, maybe Ava: you have more faith in her as an impartial ref Ava: but she's not been shouting at you for however long so Buster: 'Cause she don't shout at me, she goes quiet Buster: James can still form a coherent sentence when prompted, can't he? Ava: Well that's unfair Ava: I'll ask her to change her method back Ava: and fuck off Buster: It's a fair question, he was partying really hard last I heard Ava: He went to rehab actually Buster: Leave that out of the introductions and calm down then Ava: Don't tell me to calm down Ava: tah very much Ava: like they just want to meet him Buster: I'm just saying, he offered Buster: If you don't have to do this on your own, why the fuck would you wanna? Ava: You don't get it 'cos your relationship is different Ava: you wouldn't subject someone to this family if you didn't have to Ava: in fact, definitely waiting 'til they've calmed down, I can just imagine the ridiculous things they'd say and nope Buster: Take the support, Ava, Christ's sake Buster: He was married to her, he's handled crazier Ava: Yeah 'cos that's how I want to be Ava: how I wanna treat him Ava: I'm more than capable, thanks Buster: Yeah, really capable of letting someone help you, as evidenced right there, like Ava: I don't need it Buster: Whatever Buster: Maybe he needs to give it Ava: He's mid-divorce, I think he's busy enough Buster: If he loves you, he ain't too busy for you Ava: 🙄 Okay Ava: you can go now Buster: You can think again on trying to tell me what to do Ava: Okay, I'm gonna go then Ava: thank you for your advice etc Buster: Don't ask me what I reckon and then dismiss it Ava: I've taken it on-board Ava: I didn't say I'd do what you said Buster: It'll help show them that you're both serious Buster: They reckon nobody under the age of about 35 has been since they were Ava: Exactly Ava: that's what they don't wanna hear Ava: ever since you shit the bed Ava: they can think it's not serious if they like, fine by me Buster: The sooner they hear whatever the truth is, the sooner they can deal, 'cause they'll have to Ava: I'm not even gonna be here this time next year Ava: they need to deal with that first Buster: You're not a baby, it's all part of the same issue Ava: You need to move here or they need to be there so they can be all over your kids Buster: I've already got a place there and they've got one here Ava: I'm talking permanently, like Ava: or they'll have their own baby or something Buster: No they won't Ava: If Ro can Ava: wonders never cease Buster: Yeah and that was such a good idea Ava: She wouldn't know one if it called itself 0 cals Buster: Like you said, in a year you'll be at uni wherever the fuck you want Ava: I'll suggest knitting and golf then Buster: If you've got a death wish Ava: Can't dampen the mood any harder Buster: Come on Buster: I'll have another kid or something, take the heat off Ava: Tah Ava: no chance Nance will so you have to really Buster: Don't Ava: What? Buster: Imagining her as a mother is such a headfuck Ava: She won't Ava: she's heartbroken rn, apparently Buster: Standard then, yeah? Ava: obviously Ava: standard she managed to get that in to this convo, like Buster: If anyone can Ava: you know Ava: as well as a meaningless offer of a trip out there Buster: And you still told her before me Buster: Fuck you Ava: Got to be faster on the socials Ava: I technically told Grace ages ago if you want to be really upset Buster: What? Ava: Not literally the whole debacle, I'm not mental Ava: just to talk about it, when you last came over Buster: What do you reckon all your friends are gonna say? Ava: I dunno Ava: a mixed bag, no doubt Buster: I can like actually try and talk to mum and dad if you want Ava: If you wanna smash your head against that particular brickwall Ava: you're welcome to try Ava: I don't mind Buster: 'Course that wouldn't actually hurt me so Ava: Thick skull Ava: sure Buster: Yeah Buster: And loads of practice at exactly that pursuit Ava: Cheers then Ava: enjoy the brain damage Buster: Will do