#I didn't mean to write so much

[wanderingmind867]

I'm only 19, yet i suffer from existential dread and almost constantly seem to psychoanalyze myself. I'm terrified of ageing and of time (since my only friend in real life is my dad, and i'm super dependent on him), so it's almost like i'm suffering a midlife crisis at 20. Which probably isn't great. But my overthinking brain (combined with a rough series of events in the last few years) really brought all this stuff out of me.

But I also suffer from a psychoanalysis problem. You want to know how i figured out my sexuality? It's because i felt uncomfortable going through puberty, so decided to force myself to hunt for answers. The hope was that answers would erase the feeling of shame and awkwardness whenever that stuff hits me. It...it didn't fully work that way. But it give me answers to my sexuality, so...i guess at least something came of it? And that's just one example of my self psychoanalysis problem.

I feel like a lot of this stuff stems from me not understanding myself. You would think I would understand myself better than my dad understands me, but no. I understand myself as well as he understands me. Neither of us know why i have such an explosive temper, for example. I'm a riddle to myself as much as I am to others. And so I'll always overthink my behavior or actions, and then i'll try to analyze myself and figure out why i do the things I do. I almost never figure anything out. Most I do is throw out some educated guesses and assume they're close to the truth. But I'm still a mystery to myself.

[rubberbandgirlme]

wade can talk about noble sacrifice and marvel jesusing all he wants but he was ready to die for his friends and for logan, instead of logan, because he wanted him to live. “say hi to my friends for me, peanut”, says the man who wants logan to become a part of the group, a pack, again, to take his place in protecting the people he loves, probably the only one he trusts to do so. and there is so much love in his desire for logan to stay alive and finally experience something good in life

[a-dope-fiend]

It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.

[luminousglimmer-a]

ミ ✦ ┊ ┊ ﹝ childe ❞ : @caelune

❝  i’ll stay.  ❞

to say that lumine's embarrassed is an understatement. to say that she's mortified is closer, though she's certain there's no word in teyvat's dictionary to express how she feels. a rosy flush spreads 'crossed fair skin as cheeks darken. those words and the way he speaks them make her pulse quicken.

it isn't like she explicitly asked childe to stay. the protest she'd unconsciously made when he'd moved to leave, the way loneliness set in instantly, the way she reached out to grasp a fistful of red fabric.. the way her lips formed words and the way her traitorous mouth cried out in a panic. everything happened so fast. she hadn't meant to say the words aloud, and yet, here they are. three small words had ruined her pride.

' wait! don't go!'

mind races. eyes widen. fist clenches. mouth hangs open. it's almost as though she has more to voice, but nothing comes out. instead, it plays on repeat in her mind. don't go! don't go! i don't want to be alone! her imagination has its way with her. scenario after scenario ravage her heart. she's seen these before. nightmares. terrors.. they are her bedmates. oh, what she wouldn't give to have someone's hand to hold.

aether is gone, lost to her for who knows how long, and paimon has abandoned her. is a snack and some mora worth more than she? well, lumine can't really say she's surprised. as used to it as she is, it shouldn't hurt the way it does. paimon betrayed her for food. really, she saw it coming someday, but she didn't think childe would be the one to bribe her successfully. but here she is. an afterthought. 'when had she last come first to someone?

though she tries to think, the memories feel gone to her. her mind is empty as the space between worlds. craters, like the moon's, leave giant gaps every time she tries to recall anything at all.

childe says less than she, but the impact it has on her is drastic. they have shut her down. why does her rebellious heart leap? she doesn't want an answer to the question. she swears, she doesn't. a breath leaves her and her throat forces her anxieties down. swallowing them before they swallow her, she releases the death grip she has on his scarf. eyes flit off to the side, taking great interest in the pillows across the room. teeth dig into her bottom lip to keep herself from saying something stupid, but it does little more than make her look coy.

❝ 　   you don't have to stay. i'm a big girl. i don't need a babysitter. 　  ❞

[obsidianbit]

I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

[cometshift]

predisasters

[gentlebeard]

If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube

[fortheloveofexy]

it's a pet peeve of mine when ppl frame Andrew as hating Aaron and being needlessly cruel to him... bc while yes, their relationship is fractured and strained, Andrew genuinely cares about his brother and wants the best for him, he just doesn't know how to show that in a normal way.

like he might not know how to express it in a healthy manner but Andrew LOVES Aaron, like he truly just wants Aaron to be healthy and safe. It's like, his whole Thing. Aaron is one of the most important people in his life. Andrew wants him around. He'd do anything to protect him.

I guarantee Andrew wants to be emotionally close to Aaron too, he just doesn't have the tools to do that and the thought of letting someone in terrifies him. He also has no concept of what a healthy sibling relationship looks like, so he has no frame of reference to work from.

[whovianbuffalo]

Dot and Bubble thoughts

This episode was first and foremost an allegory for racism and the entitlement of white elites, and this little touch of “charging rebranded as 'work'”(because it's 'tedious') is interesting here.

Lindy later says "my job's not easy, I get chapping" which shows she clearly hasn't worked out that "work" has become a meaningless phrase in their carefully-controlled society.

Before this, Ricky says people used to do 'manual labor, for money', but Lindy still self-identified as a wealthy person when Ruby asked, and said "Only people who can afford it" are sent to Finetime, yet

So... I can understand why some people feel that this episode is trying to take a shot at Gen-Z and no one else, but I will say it does seem to be a valid critique of performative activism.

Lindy mentions that she is using 'refurb' clothing and therefore isn't using up any of Finetime's resources, which is one of the only indications we are given that this 'utopia' is, of course, falling apart. The other indication comes in the opening of the episode when the newsreader informs them "Not going to lie, we are having trouble with the weather satellite".

A friend of Lindy's compliments her outfit- a woman who says "Kindness all the time" (an ultimately hollow phrase) is preferable in this society to The Doctor and Ruby, who are seen as impolite for daring to interrupt their bubbles, but, ultimately, The Doctor is shut out due to racism and colorism. Ruby is an outsider too, but because she is white and blonde and blue eyed they never question if she is a "contagion".

The Doctor was no 'ruder' than Ruby, but Lindy focuses on him anyway.

I appreciate that we see an early indication of Lindy's selfishness in her first meeting with Ricky here.

Interesting that instead of "heaven's sake" Gothic says "For land's sake". This makes sense for a culture so clearly obsessed with Manifest Destiny, and of course reaffirms their belief that Finetime is "heaven", of sorts.

It's clear that they still have some Religious/Phantasmagorical connection to a mythical heaven, as Lindy says "You mean she's in The Sky? Isn't she lucky!" rather than think about the realities of death or an afterlife. And just in case we were wondering if this culture was religious, they invoke the deity (and Manifest Destiny) directly:

The specific way in which Dot and Bubble forces the viewer to sit with Lindy throughout the episode- static scenes shot of her very boring life and her extremely vapid, empty social life (which I appreciate The Doctor calls out as being enough to drive the AI to homicide) makes us feel trapped and complicit in her behavior, and Ricky's, too.

We're watching the narrative unfold from within the bubble and the screen is literally obscured, peeling back the layers until we finally meet the doctor in person- but Lindy's reaction is off.

And then... We don't follow them. The camera shrinks back, and the impossibly wide world which they wanted to conquer shrinks back into a tiny dot as their boat fades out into the horizon. We're left with Ruby and The Doctor and a TARDIS which is bigger on the inside, but we don't see inside her.

Great work from the director of photography here and amazing work from the cast and crew all round to make a script which must have looked extreme repetitive on paper- the constant use of the word "Forwards. Forwards. Forwards" must have been a hard slog in the read-through— work so well onscreen. How prodigious that it would appear have been too expensive to film during the 11th doctor's era and was shelved for more than a decade until we could get Ncuti Gatwa to fully embody this experience.

This episode was an excellent satire (of multiple things!) and I'm not sure it would have landed the same way in a previous era... But it feels incredibly timely now if you are willing to listen to it.

[kaliforniahigh]

when you and Noah have an argument, you both passively aggressively still take care of each other

like you just made some cookies to calm down from the argument? you throw the plate carelessly on his computer table and go like "I made some cookies just eat it already"

or when you're drinking some soda sitting on the kitchen island, he sees you and says "can you drink some water for once? did you even drink any water today?"

for dinner is like "I made you that stupid lasagna that you like so much 🙄"

and at night when you're watching your favorite movie he tells you "you watching this boring movie again?" and then he proceeds to sit on the couch with you and after 15 minutes y'all are cuddling and forget what the argument was even about

[wanderingmind867]

I don't watch a lot of stuff on youtube nowadays. I think I can possibly consider that more proof of my sedentary nature online nowadays. Especially since I actually know some of the reasons i don't watch youtube videos much anymore. So let me explain it:

Back when my old tablet worked, i would watch a lot of playthroughs of video games online (i've never been good at playing games, so i sort of relied on playthroughs). Anyways, back in 2021-2022 i was watching these playthrough videos, and i usually woke up and watched one of them daily before school. But then my mom died, and the old tablet died pretty much at the same time as my mom. And then i just...stopped watching those videos.

I played other videos for a while, but i stopped doing that a few months ago too. So i think this could be proof i'm more sedentary online since my old tablet died. At the very least, it's proof that i feel i'm lazier because i lost the tablet i was attached to, and that this feeling has made me miserable.

[simplykorra]

it was everyone but you

[lazylittledragon]

right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

[enderina]

Tommorow i'm starting school 💀 i wanna explode. Hopefully this won't mean i'll stop drawing,, Here's a few finished arts in the meantime :]

{I draw mario so different everytime help 💀 Also luigi is pretty hard to draw so i'm still figuring him out ✌}