#I do not have the energy for that bullshit today

[k-n0-x]

༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid- Chapter 5·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻

A/N- Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took sooooo long to get out. I compensated in making it a bit longer than the usual chapters. I hope y’all enjoy :3

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“Well, did you enjoy that Emily?” You ask Emily as you both pass through the portal, and onto your porch.

“Yes! I finally get what you mean when you say Charlie and I are alike,”

“Sweetie, you are carbon copies of each other, it’s not that hard to come to that conclusion ,”   You smile, and jump when you remember something. 

“By the way, Sinners can be redeemed! I did some digging around a couple of days ago, but I forgot to tell you,” 

For a moment, Emily becomes silent, letting the news sink in. 

Shs squeals. 

“Oh this is amazing! That means that-” 

“That what, Emily?”

The voice of the Elder Seraphim makes you jump out of your skin. 

“Hi, Sera, uhm just, er,” You lose face in front of Sera, but she is more looking at Emily than you. 

“Where exactly have the two of you been? Emily I was looking all around for you today,”

“Oh she was just hanging out with me at my house today-”

“I didn't see you around at all today,” Adam pops up behind you.

Ah yes, him. 

“Were you not out all day today?” You counter. 

“Enough! I already knew that Emily was in Hell with you,”

Your mouth agape, you make an attempt to form a plausible excuse. 

“I uh, just wanted to help out with the aftermath of the extermination and I just invited Emily along, please don't punish her, I really pushed her into it,”  You grimace. Surely there’s going to be a berating headed your way.

Emily gives you a confused look, and you return it with a warning one. 

“Whatever for? It's not like it works anyway,” Sera, despite spewing her bullshit, has her head up high. 

The latter remark makes you stick out your chin, with a defensive attitude. 

“Uh, yes it does, actually,” You smile innocently.

Sera’s face pales. 

“What, what do you mean? Obviously, sinners do not have the capacity to be redeemed,”

“Yeah, the big shot’s right. Those little, dare I say, cunts have already fucked up their one chance, why give them another?”

Your ‘husband’ sides with the Seraphim, but Emily stays beside you. 

“Well why not discuss this in court then?” Your eyes, almost manic glares into the ones of the first man. 

“Wha- What the fuck man? You can't do that-Right Sera, she just can't-”

“No, she can… When do you want to hold the meeting?” She turns to you. 

“Perhaps the day after the next? So that we'll have time to prepare,”

“.... Very well. Emily, let's go,”

Em stays back a bit and mutters, “Whatever happens, I’m on your side. I’ll try to help in anyway I can,”

“You don’t have to,” you mumble back.

“Emily! Let’s go,” Sera hisses. The two Seraphims leave the patio of your home.

“Why the fuck does this matter to you so much bitch?” Adam points an accusing finger at you, which you slap away.

“Oh, I don't know, maybe I want to uphold true Heavenly values? You of all people should know that,” You hiss back. 

“Uh, no. Sinners can't be redeemed, now stop preaching all this dumb bullshit, and get ready, because you're going down, bitch,” 

You bite your tongue, because God forbid you send him into a frenzy. You don’t have the time or energy for his tantrum right now.

“Well, I'm going to bed bitch, God, I am so handsome, and cool and amazing,” Adam sashays to the bedroom, irritating you so. 

You pave a path to the living room.

You look at the couch.

You are not planning on sleeping on the same bed as Adam tonight. 

Or the next, for that matter.

You flop on the couch like a tired dog, and doze off. 

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

You’re in a desolate landscape. It's familiar. 

Oh yeah, you've been here before. 

Adjacent to you is the pedestal with the glowing ball. 

“Yeah, I’m not doing that again,” You step away from the monument and bump into something.

Or rather, someone.

“Sera? What are you- hey!” The Seraphim suddenly pushes you without warning, cascading you down into a dark pit.

Dark pit… This has happened before.

What the fuck is going on?

Despite your confusion you flap your wings in the darkness, but as soon as you get to the top of the hole again, some force drags you down. 

You look towards the surface, and see exterminators grinning (quite ironically) devilishly at the sight of your downfall

You spiral into the abyss, and the familiar heat appears. 

You hit the ground with a thud, and jump out of your couch, sun rays peeking through the curtains.

What was that dream? That's the second time today that you had a dream such as this. 

What's that glowing ball about?

Why, in the second dream, Sera pushed you into that hole?

Why couldn't you fly? 

Why, did you fall? 

Also, what is up with the ground at the bottom of the pothole?

It was so different from the  empty landscape at the surface, with its red hot coals.

You rub your eyes with your trembling hands. It felt so real, as if your hands are suffering the aftermath of being burnt on the scorching stones.

There's no point crying about it now. 

Time to become your own attorney.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“So, let me get this straight. There's a court meeting tomorrow and you need Charlie  to be there. On short notice?!” Vaggie groans and rubs her temples. 

“This is the perfect recipe for disaster,” 

“Yah, honestly you fumbled this one toots,” Angel adds, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.

“Vaggie, this isn't so bad. At least now we have solid evidence. Who knows? We actually have a fighting chance,” Charlie gives her girlfriend a comforting hug from behind. 

“I know it's short notice, and I'm sorry I'm asking for a lot, but it could help you guys immensely,” You ramble on. 

“Maybe we can sit down and look all of this over. I’ve brought some documents with me, and after possibly I could snatch Sir Pentious to go to the court meeting as well,” You start naming things like a list so fast, the words that leave your mouth are almost unintelligible. 

“Hey, maybe you should sit down. Seems like you're getting the jitters. Oh Charlie! Maybe you should brew a pot of tea, hmm?” Lucifer puts a hand on your shoulder and guides you to the couch. 

“Sorry for getting worked up about all of this, and all, I just have a lot on my plate,” you rub the head of Kiki, calming down to the vibrations of the cat's purrs.

“Yeah I could tell,” The demon holds your shaky hand gently, as if it was made of glass. 

“See, you're shaking. I'm assuming the hearing isn't the only reason you're so anxious,” 

You sigh. 

“Really, I'm fine. Don't worry about it,” You smile, and squeeze his hand.

The King slightly reddens at the touch.

Charlie enters the room with piping hot cups of tea with Vaggie, who was holding a tin of biscuits. Charlie squints at the sight of you and her dad holding hands. Instinctively, you pull away casually.

“Okay, so,” You begin to take out some papers from your bag and place them on the table. 

“Recently, St. Peter gave me receipts of who has entered Heaven in the recent weeks. Even though we know that Sir Pentious is in Heaven, we should still try to match up the dates of when he entered, and the day of extermination,” 

“It'll be good hard cold evidence, especially if we get a grab of Pentious himself…” you bite your lip. 

“We’d probably have to look around for more information… Would either of you know anything?” You turn to the three. 

Lucifer scratches his head for a moment. 

“Hmm, nothing that I could think of-” 

“I believe I could make an attempt to ask Rosie and the other Overlords, they like to be keeping an eye on everything that goes on in Hell,” The familiar nails-on-a-chalkboard voice makes you jump out of your seat, almost spilling the cups of tea on the table. 

Geez, can Alastor abstain himself from giving you a jumpscare just to make his entrance?

“Yeah, that'd be amazing! We really need all hands on deck for this,” Charlie answers for you.

“Thanks Alastor. You're so kind,” You add, just out of habit. 

“It’s no problem my dear. Anything to help out a friend,” 

Friend? Alastor isn't an enemy to you, but you barely have shared any proper conversation to consider him your friend. 

That title he used for you seemed, off, like he doesn't regard you as a friend. 

But why-? 

Oh. 

“Yeah, thanks for your kind offer Alastor, but I'm quite confident that us three have it covered. So can you please remove yourself from here? We need to concentrate,” Lucifer pipes up from beside you, a thin layer of rage decorating his tone. 

“Uhm, some extra help doesn't hurt anyone Dad, right Y/N?” 

It feels like everyone in the room is looking at you for your input. 

Thankfully, your saving grace, Niffty turns the attention to her.

“Why are all the bad boys becoming good boys?! Ugh! So lame,” She groans as she uses a brush to sweep stray crumbs from the floor.

Using this window of opportunity, you change the subject. 

“Okay, now regarding Sir Pentious, I should probably call him now…” 

“I still have the card you gave me!” Charlie takes out the card from her breast pocket, crusted with dry slime and lint.

“You keep that thing on you?” Vaggie cringes.

“Yes, and?” Charlie dials the number on the card. 

Briing rring

You hold your breath as each silent second drags on. 

“Hello? Who isss thiss?” A voice rings from the other end. 

“Sir Pentious, is that you?!” The Princess replies. 

“Charlie? Iss that you?” The voice counters. 

“Oh hi!! So as much as I want to catch up with you, I have a teeny tiny favour to ask of you…”

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“Ahh, I don't know Charlie. Thiss iss a very important matter, I don't know if I could handle it,”

“Pentious, by helping us, we could be achieving big! We need to either go big or go home! I know it's a lot of you, but, pretty please?”

A crackled sigh. 

“Oh alright…”

“Aaaa thank you so much Pentious! I'd give you a hug, but, you know… Ah bye bye!”

Charlie drops the call. 

“Seems like everything's in order now. I'll see you guys tomorrow?” You stand up from the couch. 

“Yes, and Y/N?”

You turn to the Princess. 

“Yes Charlie?”

She hesitates. 

“....Thank you again, for all of this,”

“Charlie, again, it's really no problem, okay? It's literally the least I can do,” You give Charlie a hug. 

It's all you can do. 

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“We are gathered here today to re-determine if sinners are able to redeem themselves via Charlie Morningstar’s Hazbin Hotel,” The Seraphim’s voice bellows from above. 

Cherubs and winners are below you, Charlie is by your side, and Emily is beside Sera, on edge.

“The plaintiff is Y/N, and the defendant is Adam, the first man. Y/N, I bring the floor to you,”

You take a deep breath and take out your notes. 

“Well, your Honour, I have receipts which show that a sinner has entered Heaven in recent weeks,” You thrust out the piece of paper, which Sera draws towards her. 

“He goes by the name ‘Sir Pentious’,” Your voice puts on a nonchalant tone, but it feels like your heart is about to stop. 

Sera reads over the piece of paper, her face as though she swallowed a particularly sour lemon. 

“Uhhhh, I call bullshit. I mean come onnnnnn,” Adam groans. 

“I mean, do you know how easy it is for her to just print that out. Don't tell me you're actually believing this?” He smirks, and gets a snicker from Lute beside him.

“Uhm actually,”Sir Peter pipes up from the stands. 

“I actually gave her that paper a while ago, if that can vouch for anything-”

“Shut up Pete,” Adam spits. 

“Order!” Sera’s feathers ruffle, and she tucks them back down.

“Unless the defendant shows indubitable evidence, I’m afraid the verdict still stands,”

“Sera no!” Emily cries.

“Emily, this is an official court meeting, one of which you aren’t apart of. If you can’t keep quiet, you would have to leave the courtroom,”

You bite your nail. You really didn’t want to pull out your winning card this early…

“May I call a witness?”

“You may,”

“Well I call Sir Pentious as my witness,” You nod towards where the cacophony of angels were.

“Well your Honour…” He hisses, his tail wagging as though alert. 

“I used to be a sinner, ass you may already know. During the lasst extermination, I wass killed in the battle… Then before I knew it, I wass up here in Heaven. That's all,” Pentious looks up at you, and you give a thumbs up along with a smile. 

“Any quesstions?” 

“No, you may sit down,” Sera starts, but a cherub pipes up from the audience. 

“What does he mean by “as you already know”? I for one didn't know about that,” 

Multiple angels, winners and Heavenborn alike, all murmur in agreement. Emily then bursts out,

“I'll tell you this. It's because Sera and I knew when Sir Pentious entered Heaven. Rather than going through the pearly gates, he appeared amongst the two of us.” 

And all Hell, (or Heaven) breaks loose.

“Silence! This meeting is adjourned,” Sera’s ringing voice brings the noise of the  populated stadium to a halt.

“Adjourned? What, why?” Charlie inadvertently voices your thoughts.

“My reasoning will not be objected,” Sera dodges the question.

“This meeting will be continued within twenty minutes,”

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“Charlie, what do we do? Sera clearly doesn’t want to budge, and God knows what lies Adam is feeding her,” you  pace up and down, words leaving your mouth as quick as lightning.

“Uhh don’t panic,” Charlie puts her hands up defensively. 

“She hasn’t made a decision yet, we could- erh” She stumbles over her words,  and fumbles a small yellow item out of her pocket and puts it in your hand.

“My dad said to give it to you if you got worked up- uhm,” Charlie steps backward a bit to give you some space. 

You look at the object in your hand, which took the shape of a duck that was decorated with the signature white hat, and an apple cane in its flank.

You squeeze it and it produces a familiar tune. Your eyes widen as you remember that it was the melody  you complimented just the other day. 

At the time, it was just obligatory praise, but you were absolutely smitten by the fact that Lucifer has taken it seriously.

The dedication, into making something like this, for you is…

Charming.

Really Charming. 

“Uhhh, Are you alright?” The Princess taps her foot anxiously, waiting for your answer.

“Oh yeah!” You look up, cheeks warming.

“I really love it. Tell him as such,” your stupid face breaks into a smile despite everything.

“I will. He’d be pretty happy hearing that, especially from you,” she gives you a playful nudge.

“You know… He likes you. Like- a lot,” 

Your eyes brighten, and Charlie squeals at the sight.

“Oh, I knew it was reciprocal!” She brings you into a massive bear hug.

“Charlie- I-,”

“Oh, sorry,” She lets go.

“I was squeezing too hard, wasn’t I?”

“No, no it’s not that. It’s that well- you know I’m married,” An gravelly sigh leaves your lips.

“I think we would be better as friends,” Your throat is scratchy. Why is this so hard to say? 

“Oh,” was her reaction, only enhancing your guilt even more. She looked so remorseful, you wanted to hug her so badly and say that you were lying.

And you were.

“Excuse me?” A cherub taps your shoulder.

“The court meeting is about to resume,”

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

As you enter back on your podium, you see Adam whispering something into Sera’s ear. He looks at you and makes a rude gesture, which you reciprocate.

“Enough! The court is back in session. Now, I bring the defendant to speak,” 

“Ehhh yeah, anyway my point still stands. I don’t think we want some sinners cavorting around , making trouble,”

 His statement just irritates you. How could he just say something like that?

“How do you know that? Pentious has been here for a while, and I doubt he has been making any disturbance,” are you picking the low hanging fruit? Yes. Is it helping your case? Also yes.

“Uhhhh yeah, but what’s the guarantee that others won’t? Geez, you’re so gullible,” He snorts like the pig he is.

“The defendant has a point. I feel like I’ve come to a conclusion, and it still hasn’t changed from the last session. Lute, please see Princess Charlie Morningstar out. Everyone else is  dismissed,”

All the spectators leave. Sir Pentious looks back and gives you a consoling wave before taking his leave.

Lute flies over to your podium and a portal opens behind Charlie.

“What? No!” You and Emily shout in unison. The General roughly grabs the princess by the arm and drags her through the threshold.

 Horns protrude from Charlie’s head, trying to resist the Angel’s force. More exterminators appear, almost magically and with one final push, the Demon princess is hauled through the portal.

“Charlie, NO!” You outstretch your hand, but it’s too late. The gateway closed with a whoosh sound.

“Now, was that really necessary?” You stare daggers at Sera, Lute and Adam.

“It had to be done,” was her response.

“Also, Sera, you said you wanted to talk to Y/n about something,” The first man’s tone is sinister, and is putting you on edge. 

“Oh, yes. Thank you for the reminder. Well, Mrs. Y/N, I ban you from travelling to Hell without a permit,”

“What, why?!” Your heart is in your throat.

“Uhh, coz I don’t want you there. D'you know how bad it'll look on me if I can’t control my wife?!” 

Sera puts her fingers between her eyes.

“Ahem, what Adam is trying to say is that, you clearly aren’t thinking of the consequences all of this may have. Imagine the state of Heaven if we just let any riff-raff in,”

You let out a short breath in shock. That was it. Game over.

“Unbelievable,” 

“Y/N, WAIT!-” Emily tries to fly to your podium

She was met with a slammed door in her face.

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Word count- 3,111

Taglist:

@dionysusismypatrongod

@glowymxxn

@froggybich

@pea-shooter-brain

@hyperkaiperrose

@relatedsoda

[zinzabee]

I need them back, I need to see this version of Raph & Casey's dynamic explored, please, PLEASE!! Every day I wake up and I miss them both so much that it physically hurts me. We were so robbed.

Based on This Video

[forcedhesitation]

*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all

[maiaacchiato]

thinking thoughts

[oldpotatoe]

Oops i slipped and fell and read flwogb for the thousandth time :)))) praying to the Gods for more <3 no pressure <3

buddy you should get that checked out [ba dum tiss]

no but in all seriousness. i am 7 months into a career that pretty much consumes most hours of my working day, and on weekends i slump in bed and watch netflix because i am turning into an old hermit-- no wait, an old potato

ye gods i am living up to my username in the worst possible way

anyway i wish i could say that i can see things changing but frankly my workload only increases with every new day :( but i'm getting a severe writing itch that will end up being scratched at some point soon [she says through gritted teeth as she gets yet another notification on her work phone, resisting the urge to hurl it into the wall]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[zenithpng]

‼️‼️ tw for suicidal ideation + vent in tags

[allaganexarch]

godddddd wasting time and energy on things that don't fucking matter has got to be THE worst feeling

[eldritch-crabbo]

Dad: “You’ve never consistently walked every day how do you know it wouldn’t help?” (my chronic fatigue and perceived laziness for only doing as much as I need to and no more)

Me: “I literally walked (up the steep ass hill leading to our neighborhood) every day with 30 lbs of textbooks on my back for 7 years.”

Dad: “And you had more energy and were 100lbs lighter back then! See it works!”

like literally 1. no, I definitely did not. there’s (many) reasons I didn’t do homework and was failing every class bc of it, and a lack of energy was a big one. 2. lmao I gained like 30 lbs since I got out of high school if he really thinks it was 100 he’s deluding himself. 3. i only did all of that because i literally had no other choice. what was I going to do as someone who has a massive fear of punishment (in large part because of him), not go to school? skip class and get treated even worse? this is the man that cut off my access to running water for like 12 hours as punishment once. i can’t believe i ever thought that shit was normal

[anghraine]

I was unwisely reading the notes about an article that looked interesting, and a bunch just said, "there are a couple of good points in the article but it's Bad" (their capitalization) with zero argument or explanation of what was supposed to be bad about it.

That structure of denunciation seems really common and I'm sure I've done it, too, but damn if it didn't seem to epitomize everything annoying about so much social media discourse.

[montanabohemian]

so yesterday i had someone comment on a post i made on IG telling me how "offended" they were because i'd simply ended my post with the phrase "end the occupation and free palestine." so much of what they said was actually insane racist islamophobic bullshit and they managed to end their comment by calling all muslims terrorists and literally parroted the "they want to kill americans" fucking horseshit.

the person that made this comment was by someone i've literally known since grade school. i'm not close friends with them but i've gotten to know them over the years and never once thought they'd say anything like this. i actually thought it was a bot account for like a full minute.

i'm sadly not surprised at the rhetoric because that's where we are. we're right back to twenty years ago during the post 9/11 / war in iraq / war on terror fervor kicked off. i'm just. i had to fight this shit twenty years ago and here we are all over again, except this time with the added benefit of fucking social media.

if simply saying "free palestine" is so inflammatory for you, then that is your fucking problem to work through.

[zeawesomebirdie]

I know I keep saying this but I am genuinely loving this whole being so sick all I can do is write thing, I got like 800ish words on this zero draft in like 30 minutes and I would have written more if I didn't have to go to an appointment now

[sparkly-skies]

@mondscheinprinzessin

LAURA LAURA LAURA

.... I might need to revise my meme. I haven't even slept yet but all this song makes me want to do is... idk, get better? Rob a bank and be able to pay for therapy and go get better? Get better and go to their concert and dance and sing along to the "oh damn it will get better even if I have to claw my way to it with my bare hands" song?

[elprupneerg]

i totally have control over my life. i'm absolutely not sitting here mindlessly scrolling tumblr and reading fanfic and fantasizing about how much less stressed i'd be if i weren't in school right now. i'm definitely actually doing my homework because i definitely actually have spoons and the ability to focus

[lynxgirlpaws]

I grow exhausted of my dad demanding we do something at a particular time, then him deciding to go do something else and making me wait all day for him to finally decide it's time for me to drop everything and entertain him

[pibsboots]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.