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baby-yongbok · 1 month

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Ex : Part II

Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

⇝ Genre: Angst then Smut then angst again. Dirty Drama.

⇝ Summary: There's only one thing on your mind after 'welcoming' Hyunjin back into your life.

⇝ Warnings: Themes of Cheating, Arguing, Oral sex, Hyunjin is toxic - the manipulative type - and he seriously thinks he did nothing wrong. (I think that's all, let me know if I missed anything!)

⇝ Word Count: 3.2k

⇝ A/N: SO MANY of you wanted a part 2 to this so I tried my best + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ I hope that you enjoy the drama! 💕

✧ Part One ✧ Masterlist ✧

It took you a week. A week of crying and screaming, a week of avoiding your friends, a week of him ignoring your calls for you to realize that Hyunjin has you fucked up if he thinks that you’re going to let him get away with what he put you through. At first you just wanted to talk to him, you thought that maybe you could convince him to cut Yara off. You thought that you could change him - how cliche. You called him for three days and when you got sick of getting his voicemail you called his best friend, Jeongin. He was surprised to hear from you but he was even more surprised when you told him everything that happened.

“Are you fucking serious?” For the first time since Hyunjin left you crying on your bedroom floor you let it all out. You told Jeongin every dirty detail of the encounter. You cried and he was there for you, he did what Hyunjin hasn’t done for months. “Is there anything that I can do? Anything you need?”

The line fell silent as you processed his question. Your brain is telling you one thing while your heart is telling you another. You sigh as the two battle for dominance over what comes out of your mouth next. You’ve let your heart make all of the moves for the past three days. You’ve cried and you’ve screamed all in favor of lifting the crushing pain off of your chest for an hour or two. Now it’s your brain's turn to decide and it only wants one thing.

“Ya know there is something that you can help me with.” Your heart pleads for you to choose something less drastic, less dramatic but your brain yells for it to shut up. Why should we let Hyunjin have all the fun? “Anything, you name it.”

“Revenge.”

Hyunjin came to your place four days after you spoke to Jeongin. He had cherry red roses in his hand and an apology plastered on his face. His eyes were pleading with you before he could even open his mouth but to his surprise you hugged him. You held him tight and smiled, taking the flowers and making a home for them in your favorite vase. He was stunned to say the least but he didn’t comment. He needed you. His ex did exactly what you knew she would, she took all that she wanted from him and the second that she started to get attention from somewhere else she acted like he didn’t exist.

He tried to be the boyfriend that you’ve been wanting him to be over the next couple of weeks but he couldn’t seem to get a hold of you. Each and every time that he’d plan a date or show up to surprise you, you were already out or you were leaving to meet with your friends. You barely answered his texts and he’s more than positive that you’ve been sending him to voicemail for the past week. It’s been a month of him putting up with you blowing him off and he’s sick of it.

He decided to show up at your place two hours before your plans to talk to you, maybe he can get you to stay home and spend some time with him tonight. He misses you more than you could even imagine and he thought that you’ve been missing him too. Shouldn’t you be dying to spend time with him?

His face drops when he gets to your front door and his key doesn’t fit into the lock, did you change it? He rings the bell, tapping his foot anxiously as he waits for you to open the door. His eyes meet yours when it swings open and you smile at him, welcoming him in.

“My key didn’t work.” He comments as he kicks his shoes off.

“Really? That’s odd.” You shrug as you make your way to your bathroom. “I’m gonna shower.” You call to him as the bathroom door closes behind you. The click of the lock draws a sigh from Hyunjin. Not even a kiss or a hug? Just a friendly hello like you’re not even dating. He drags himself to your bedroom and throws himself on your perfectly made bed. His thoughts project onto the ceiling as he stares at it. He feels like he’s going crazy, why are you acting so weird? No affection, barely talking, barely hanging out and you’re always on… Oh no. He sits up quickly, his eyes dart around the room until it finally lands on what he’s looking for on your bedside table.

Your Phone.

He glances over at your bedroom door before grabbing it. The screen lights up and a picture of you and your friends presents itself to him. That’s funny, wasn’t your wallpaper that picture of you two from when you went to the aquarium for your second date. You always said that that was your favorite picture. When did you change it?

He glances towards the door again and swipes your screen, his brain is busy thinking of possible password combinations but there is no password. His brows pinch together in confusion, you always have a pin on your phone. He decides to worry about that later and quickly starts searching all of your apps. He goes from your instagram to your snapchat but there’s nothing. Just a bunch of reels being sent between you and Jeongin, the last person you sent a picture to on snapchat was also Jeongin. How can his best friend have time to talk to you but he doesn’t have time to text him back? He’s called him an unimaginable amount of times over the past month but he hasn’t heard a single thing back. His finger hovers over your text messages for a second too long. What if he doesn’t like what he finds? What if you’re cheating on him? How could he handle a betrayal like that? With one more quick glance towards the door he taps the app and it opens up to a conversation. Hyunjin’s heart drops when he reads the name at the top.

“What?” An incredulous sigh escapes him as he starts scrolling to the top of the conversation. Pet names are being thrown left and right, plans are being made every single day and there are back to back facetime calls in the dark hours of the night.

Hyunjin’s heart is pounding in his ears and his fingers are moving so fast that he didn’t even realize that he went into your shared media. He freezes and his heart drops to his ass as he takes it all in. Nudes, videos, everything that he could imagine, all of you and his best friend. All of you and Jeongin. He opens a video and his mouth goes dry at the lewd sounds that fill the room. He’s fucking you from behind with a fist full of your hair to keep your head up. You’re drooling and moaning and Jeongin is smiling, he’s fucking smiling at the camera. His shirt - wait a minute - that’s not his. Hyunjin’s eyes go wide as he studies the fabric, his best friend is wearing his clothes while he fucks his girlfriend? Unbelievable, this can’t be real.

He quickly exits the video and scrolls through your pictures. You and Jeongin in the car, in your bedroom, your living, you on your knees and him on his. Hyunjin doesn’t even bother to look at the door to make sure you aren’t coming. He can’t hear anything but the thoughts racing through his head. His finger slips and another video opens. The sound of skin against skin echoes through his ears as the video plays. Jeongin is shirtless, fucking you in front of your bathroom mirror. Actually, he’s naked, did you two shower together? Hyunjin balls a fist in the blanket under him as he watches the video.

“Say it again, baby, say it to the camera.” A broken moan escapes you as you try to follow Jeongin’s order. “Y-you’re so much better than him, fuck me so good, Innie.” Hyunjin swears that his heart broke at the sound of you. Why would you say that? You don’t mean it do you? What did he do to deserve this?

He pauses the video and drops your phone against the mattress, your texts stare back at him and he can’t help but to scroll. “That’s not yours.” He jumps at the sound of your voice and you laugh. You wander over to lazily flip through your closet with a towel wrapped around your hair and your rob loosely tied around your body.

“What the fuck is all of this?” His voice is small, much smaller than he meant for it to be but you can hear the heartbreak laced in it. You almost feel bad for him. But that’s your heart speaking, she’s not in control right now. “You’re fucking Jeongin?”

You pick out a dress and move to your mirror, you tilt your head as you hold it against your body. “Think this is too much for a dinner date?” Hyunjin scoffs, moving to stand from your bed.

“Answer me, tell me that everything that I just found is fake. Tell me that you didn’t betray me.” He has some nerve talking about betrayal. You face him, staring back at him with faux sympathy. “I was lonely when you left, what was I supposed to do?”

“Wait for me to get back.” You turn your attention back to your closet but he calls your name before you can pick out another dress. “You haven’t been going out with your friends have you? You’ve been with him. What in your right mind possessed you to fuck my best friend?”

“Do you really care, Hyunjin? Do you really want me to tell you? Cause I’ll tell you everything but that’s not what you want to hear, is it?” He watches as you slowly step towards him, like a vixen with her eyes set on a prize. “You wanna hear me say that I love you. You want me to say that I’ll stop seeing him because I need you.”

He’s stuck in place as he watches you, heavy breaths passing his parted lips as you read him like a book. That’s exactly what he wants, he wants you, that’s all he’s wanted for the past month. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.” His voice is a mere whisper once you reach him, like he’d scare you away if he talks too loudly. “That’s what I want.” He shudders when you bring your hand up to cup his cheek.

“Are you touch starved, baby?” His soft gaze pours into yours but he doesn’t recognize the look in your eyes. It’s not what he wants but he’ll gladly take it. At least you’re looking at him. “Didn’t your ex touch you while you were away?”

His heart sinks and a smile creeps onto your lips. “She - she did but -” You tsk, cutting him off before he could stumble over his words further.

“She didn’t make you feel like I do, did she?” He shakes his head, guilty eyes staring back into yours as you reach down to palm him over his sweats. “Is that why you’re back? She didn’t take care of my Hyune?”

“She’s not you.” His breath is heavy and his eyes roll back as he answers with a thick groan. You run your fingers over him with expert precision. You’ve always known what to do to get him going. “I want you, not her. Always you.”

“Untie my robe.” You whisper and he quickly obeys, fumbling with the loose knot until the fuzzy fabric falls open and reveals your naked body to him. “Wanna show me how much you want me?” He leans forward to catch your lips in a kiss but you dodge him before he can. A disapproving whimper escapes him and you puff out your lip in a fake pout.

“Gotta be patient, my baby. Can you do that?” He nods, whimpering out a pathetic ‘yes’. His eyes follow your frame as you sit on the edge of your bed. Your eyes wander from his down to the floor in front of you and back up again. He quickly follows your unspoken instruction, falling to his knees in front of you and drooling when you part your legs before him. “Show me.”

Hyunjin latches onto your core like a desperate puppy. His tongue wastes no time exploring every inch of you that he’s missed. Hums and moans vibrate through him as he tastes you and you match each sound with your head thrown back and your fingers laced in his hair. At least he remembers how to eat your pussy the way that you like it, though you must admit that you’ve gotten used to Jeongin’s mouth on you.

Your bed creaks as his hips buck against it in a desperate attempt to feel half as good as you do. “Fuck, come on, Hyune. Don’t tell me your best friend eats my pussy better than you.” He groans in protest, hooking his arms around your thighs to keep you open while he works against you. You gasp in pleasure, so he’s competitive? He swirls his tongue in imaginary patterns, sliding it between your folds as he takes turns sucking on your clit and fucking your pulsing hole. His hips grind restlessly against the edge of your mattress and desperate grunts fill the air once they vibrate through your core.

“You missed me didn’t you?” You pull him back with your fist in his hair, his swollen lips glisten in the low lamp light and his eyes are glazed with fuckout desperation. “Yeah, missed you.” He’s too deep into the brain fog to hear just how pathetic he sounds but you’re more than happy to take it all in for him. A strangled moan escapes you as Hyunjin's tongue explores deeper. You grip his hair tighter as he laps up your juices, and you arch your back to meet him.

His thrusts against your mattress become more desperate as laps at you, The mess of your drooling cunt makes a mess all over his chin as he works desperately to get you to the edge but that’s not the part that gets you close. It’s the thought of him hoping and praying that hi tongue is fucking you better than Jeongin ever did and as you get closer to coming undone you find yourself clenching at the thought that his best friend does it better. “Shit, Jeongin, I’m gonna cum.”

Your orgasm rips through you with a loud moan and your body shudders in pleasure. You hold Hyunjin's head in place against your core as his tongue continues to work diligently in an attempt to help you ride out your orgasm. Once you’ve come down from your high he pulls back slowly, a single string of spit still connecting him to your cunt.

“What did you call me?” He mumbles, not even bothering to wipe his mouth clean. You stare down at him with not an ounce of care in your eyes.

“Don’t remember.” You pull your robe closed and slide from in front of him to pull yourself up to your feet. “And I don’t care.” Hyunjin’s heart dissolves as he watches you shrug and wander back over to your closet.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles and you scoff.

“Will you stop with the pitiful tone?” He scrambles up from his knees quickly, a surge of anger running through him.

“Come on.” He stalks over and wraps his arms around you, leaning in to kiss your neck but you push him away before he can. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I have a date to get ready for.” You flip through your clothes and it’s only now that he notices the empty space in your closet. “Where are my clothes?”

“I told you to take all of your shit last month.” You shrug, pulling out a dress and holding it against your body in the mirror. “You didn’t take it so I gave most of it to Jeongin. Thought about burning the rest but I donated it instead.”

He watches you silently, jaw hung slack in a frozen state of disbelief. “Are there fucking cameras in here?” He looks around, half desperate for that to be the case. “Is this a joke?”

“The only joke here is you. Did you think that you could come back here and I’d act like nothing happened?” A venomous laugh erupts from your chest. “Be fucking forreal.”

“But we just fucked, I just ate you out why would you let that happen if you’re still going to see Jeongin?”

“You got a phone call last time. You owe me, remember?” Hyunjin can’t decide if he should be livid or desperate. He wants to yell and curse you out for being so ridiculous but at the same time he wants to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He had hoped that you understood what happened a month ago. He thought that he could count on you to see that he only did what he had to do. Yeah he cheated but if you really loved him you could move past that.

“You’re excused. I need to get ready.” You push past him, bumping your shoulder with his but he grabs you by the waist before you can get too far, pulling you against his chest. “Don’t be like that, angel.”

His hands run smoothly up your side, taking in every curve of you. “I know I upset you but you can’t act like you don’t want me. What happened to you forgiving me?”

His lips brush over yours slowly as he whispers. “I want you so badly, I wanna be with you tonight. Stay here with me.” You smile against him as the towel containing your hair slips off of your head and your damp curls curtain around the two of you. You run your hands up his chest, taking in each and every toned dip before you whisper back. “Get out.” You peck his lips and push him away from you with a smile.

“You’re making a mistake.” He pleads with wide eyes blown with anguish. “He doesn’t make you feel like I do, you know that.” Your ringtone bounces off of the walls before you get a chance to answer him. You reach across your mattress and smile when you see Jeongin’s name.

“You’re right.” You shrug, swiping to answer the call. “He makes me feel so much better.” Hyunjin’s jaw clenches as you press the phone to your ear with a smile. You greet his best friend with a sweet tone that used to be exclusively for him. Hyunjin is practically invisible to you as you buzz around your room grabbing accessories and planning your outfit. It isn’t until he grabs your wrist on your way to your vanity that you look at him again.

“Please don’t do this.” Jeongin’s voice is heard from the receiver before you can answer the man in front of you.

“Who’s that, baby?” He asks, and you smile as Hyunjin deflates.

“No one.” You shrug off Hyunjin’s hold and he deflates as you passively wave him away. “That’s no one.”

Tag List: @dessianna1, @foxytoxxic, @snxfall (If you asked to be tagged and you weren't it's because you did not have your age in your bio. You MUST have your age in your bio to be tagged )

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lemonlover1110 · 6 months

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𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 7] First Ultrasound

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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

On what you’re assuming is the start of the third month of your pregnancy, you finally manage to make an appointment for your first ultrasound. You debate if you want to tell Toji or not. Would he want to come? You’re not too sure if you’re being honest. He’s told you that he wants to be the best possible father for your child, but you don’t trust him. Given his track record, you can’t exactly trust him.

“I’m just here to drop off your money.” Toji can easily transfer money through the bank monthly, but he chooses to give it to you. Every two weeks he’s at your door with your money. You agreed to quit your second job and take his money; you still have your second job, but the nights that you know he’s coming, you take off. Toji invites himself in even if he’s just handing you an envelope. He never comes just to give you that.

“How’s work?” You ask, closing the door when he enters your apartment. You find it ironic that you talk more now than when you were married. He actually engages in conversation now, and he tries to talk to you as well, asking how you’re doing.

“Exhausting.” He answers. You can tell that he’s been working more lately, or at the very least he’s not getting proper sleep. There’s visible bags under his eyes, and he’s slowly letting himself go, at least he doesn’t give the proper care since he has a bit of a stubble; he’s also due for a haircut. “How about you? How are you holding up?”

“I’m doing okay… I’ve been dealing with a bit of morning sickness but nothing crazy.” You answer. You leave out any other of your symptoms. How your breasts are sore, you’re extremely tired (which can also be alluded back to your second job), how you’ve suddenly been having the weirdest cravings. Sure, you’re talking, but you don’t want him to know more than necessary. You try to change the topic since you don’t like having the spotlight on you, “How’s Megumi doing?”

“He’s doing fine… He has a baseball game next Thursday, if you want to come.” He informs you and you take a note of it. You’ll try to go since you have a soft spot for Megumi, but you’re not certain that you’ll make it.

“I’ll try. Hope I’m doing better then.” You respond. He slowly nods in response, and he tries to think of something to talk about, but nothing comes to mind so he begins to walk to the door. He won’t try to waste both of your time. Before his hand wraps around the doorknob, you speak up,

“Toji…” He completely stops. Not a single breath comes from him until you speak again, “I know that you’re busy so, I’m just inviting you to be courteous… I have my first ultrasound tomorrow, if you want to join me.”

“What time?” He asks, and you tell him. At noon. He nods, and tells you, “I’ll come pick you up.”

He stands still for a moment, wondering what to do next. Wondering if you’re going to do something else. You stand in completely awkward silence for a minute before Toji realizes that nothing else will happen, so he walks out. He doesn’t say goodbye, although you don’t mind it because he never does.

Toji hasn’t been a man that’s usually punctual, so you’re surprised when he’s early. You might’ve told him that the appointment was earlier than it actually is so you wouldn’t be late, but there’s not much you can do when he’s right in front of you, thirty minutes before your appointment. The place isn’t even a twenty minute drive.

“Hi.” You awkwardly smile at him. You notice how he’s finally shaved the stubble, and you’re curious if he did so last night or this morning. “So… I might’ve– The appointment was pushed back to twelve thirty.”

“Oh– Okay.” He answers. You almost tell him the truth, but it might incite an argument so it’s best if you ignore it and tell a little white lie. He won’t question much, he never does, so you’re safe. “Did you eat something already? Do you want to grab something to eat?”

“I don’t have much of an appetite.” You respond, and he nods his head. He isn’t going to argue with you that you should eat something regardless, you’re pregnant and you have to keep yourself healthy for the baby– He isn’t your father nor your husband, you’re old enough to make your own decisions. And while Toji wishes he could say he was worried about this pregnancy, he simply isn’t. As fucked up it is to even think about it, he’s more worried about you than the child you carry.

“What do you want to do then? Do you just want to head out and wait?” He asks, and you nod your head in response, if you get lucky, your appointment will start earlier. You disappear out of his sight for a moment to grab your purse, but you’re back quickly. You exit the apartment and you begin to walk to his car.

The car ride is silent, you don’t have much to talk about. You don’t sense him being as excited… Or excited at all about this so you’re quiet. You don’t pay him any mind. You’re over the moon at the thought of looking at your baby for the first time. You’re in disbelief that you’re about to become a mother. Finally.

You get to the place and check in. Waiting feels interminable as you sit next to Toji. He simply looks around, while you begin to play a game on your phone. Toji finds himself bored, and since he doesn’t have anything interesting to do, he chooses to try and talk to you. He clears his throat, and speaks up, “So how far along are you anyway?”

“Hm… I think, maybe three months along? I do have a bit of a bump.” You share, and Toji’s brows raise, he looks over at you, but your shirt is baggy which doesn’t let him really figure anything out. His eyes keep staring, and he finds himself frustrated at the fact he doesn’t know. If you lived with him he’d see your body better, and he’d notice every small change. At least that’s what he thinks.

Your name is called and you stand up, following the woman to the ultrasound room. Toji follows behind, walking much slower, trying to see if he does notice a bit of a bump. The previous night you were wearing a tank top– He didn’t notice anything then. He isn’t all too observant anyway so maybe he missed it.

Toji watches as you lay down, and you begin to talk to the technician. He doesn’t pay much attention to what’s going on between you two. Until you finally lift up your shirt, and he does see a bit of a bump. It’s nothing that’s really noticeable but it’s there when you lift up your shirt, it’s definitely something he would’ve noticed if you lived together.

You squeal as the cold gel is poured on your abdomen, and the transducer is then pressed on your skin. Your eyes then fall on the monitor, and an immediate smile comes to your lips. A little kidney bean. Your eyes well up with tears as the technician points out their little head.

“It’s just one baby, right?” Toji asks, and the technician assures him that it’s just one baby. It makes him breathe a sigh of relief. He notices you stick out your bottom lip, and he rolls his eyes. You seriously didn’t want twins, did you?

You look over at Toji, trying to see if there’s a bit of excitement behind his eyes when he looks at the ultrasound, and while it’s not clearly written on his face, you see a spark in his eyes as he looks at the monitor. He perks up when he hears the sound of the baby’s heartbeats. It’s in that moment that Toji realizes just how big this is–

He’s a father, he knows the birth of a baby is a big deal. Toji would give up his life for Megumi. But your pregnancy… The beginning of it didn’t excite him the way that his first wife’s did. Maybe it’s because he was set on not being a father again, or maybe it’s because you’re separated. Perhaps it’s because even though he wanted to use your pregnancy as a means for you to stay, you still left. He’s just focused on you and your relationship, not the fact that he’s actually becoming a father again. Doing it all over again.

He isn’t sure if he’s ready to do it all over again; but he feels the excitement slowly grow by looking at his baby and listening to their heartbeat. It’s nothing too crazy though.

When the technician finishes up, you’re handed a napkin to wipe off the gel. You do so, and you’re told to wait for the doctor. You’re smiling foolishly, thinking that you’re becoming a mother even though you had given up on that dream a while ago. Given that dream up for the man that’s waiting next to you.

“You seem really excited.” Toji comments when you’re left alone. He watches your hand go to your lower abdomen as you look up at him.

“I am. I can’t wait to meet my baby.” You answer. Toji chuckles, your excitement radiating and infectious. “Do you want a baby boy or a girl?”

“Hmm… A baby boy since I already know how to deal with boys. I have no idea how I’d raise a girl.” He responds. “How about you? Do you want a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t have a preference, I just want a healthy baby. Boy or girl.” You reply, and Toji wonders if that’s how he should’ve responded. Would that have gotten him positive points with you? Did his response fuck everything up a little more?

The doctor walks in, and she tells you what you want to hear. The baby is healthy, and growing the way they should be. You’re around fourteen weeks along– Which means you’ll be due around December, and that you’re further along than what you assumed. Your baby wasn’t conceived the night that you told Toji you’d be leaving him.

You get your ultrasound pictures, and Toji takes two, even though he tries to act like he isn’t excited.

#toji x y/n #toji zenin #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro #daddy toji #fushiguro toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu toji #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji x you #dilf toji #toji fushiguro x you #toji fanfic #toji fic

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nolita-fairytale · 1 year

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comfort & chaos | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter four: 2/22/22

summary: carmy receives bad news that changes his life forever, while you're relationship with him comes to a head. (the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you)

warnings: explicit sexual content (18+ only), death, grief, mentions of suicide, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language

word count: 5.5k

listen to: hurting kind - del water gap | robbers - the 1975 | hostages - the howl & the hum

a/n: i need therapy after writing this. so sorry bbs love you all. ok but fr, i thought that i was going to write a smut scene that was not going to be hot bc we know it's canon that carmy does not fuck and then it ended up being really hot and i'm once again asking for therapy.

read: chapter three

2/22/22

Something happened. Can you come over?

That’s all the text said. It’s all that needed to be said for you to drop everything you were doing and hop on the subway. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you imagine every single worst case scenario possible. Carmy had given you little context in regards to what this was about, and you almost regret not asking as your mind runs rampant with possibilities. Not that he would’ve given you an answer. Something about him seemed different. He’d never sent that urgent of a text.

Not even when the restaurant was slammed and he needed you to come in on your day off.

Something happened.

The words continue to echo in your head until you reach him.

You're at Carmy’s doorstep faster than you ever thought your feet could carry you, and when he opens the door for you, your heart breaks. He’s wrecked. His face is a flushed red, though you don’t think it’s from crying, and he looks like he hasn’t washed his fuckin’ hair in days. You take in his somber expression, like all of the joy he’s ever experienced has been sucked out of him.

Carmy steps aside, allowing him into your apartment.

He mumbles something you can barely hear, gesturing towards the couch, so you follow him, taking a seat on the crappy couch you’ve come to love. He stares at the floor, his eyes cold and empty, as you sit in silence.

It’s you who breaks it, bursting at the seams with anxiety.

“Carmy, you’re scaring me,” you say softly.

He keeps his eyes fixed on the floor as he licks his lips, swallowing as he opens his mouth to say something. It’s a few moments later that he’s finally able to put two words together to tell you what happened.

“It’s Michael,” is all he manages to get out. You can hear the break in his voice when he utters Michael’s name, and you’re terrified of what he’s going to say next.

“Your brother?” you ask, secretly hoping he won’t say yes.

You feel your stomach drop.

Carmy nods slowly, “Yeah.”

He takes a few beats before saying anything else, his head swimming. On one hand it doesn’t feel real, and if he doesn’t say it out loud, maybe it won’t be. There’s a part of him that still thinks this is some cruel, sick joke that Mikey cooked up, just to fuck with him.

But he knows it’s real. He could hear it in the way that Sugar’s voice broke on the phone. He could hear it in the way that Richie practically screamed at him to stop being such a fuckin’ cuck and come home. He knows it’s real, because for the first time in years, his mom’s called him.

Must be Sugar or something calling from her phone for her…. ‘S gotta be, he thinks to himself.

“He’s-,” Carmy starts, before stopping again. Carmy looks away, in the opposite direction of you, focusing his eyes on something outside of the window.

He can’t look at you because if he looks at you, he might lose it.

“He’s dead.”

“Oh Carmy,” you gasp, your heart wrenching in your chest as the words leave his mouth. You reach out to touch him, but he flinches, pulling away from you.

“No,” is all he says through gritted teeth.

You cannot touch me. You cannot make me feel better about this because I’ll have to feel worse about this, is what he wants to say.

“The fuckin’ asshole shot himself on the State Street bridge. I don’t-, you don’t get to make me feel better about this,” he snaps, his tone almost a warning.

“Fuck,” you sigh, sitting up straight and leaning towards him. He may not want your comforts, so you’re going to give your presence. He had asked you to come over after all, right? “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says, coldly.

His response is jarring, leaving an unsavory taste in your mouth. You understand that he’s just gotten the most unimaginable news, but it doesn’t sit right with that he’s taking it out on you either. Is that why he invited you over? To be his punching bag? Instead, you decide to pivot to crisis control-mode, hoping to remedy some of the animosity he’s harboring.

“Okay, well, I’ll call Kate and let her know that you can’t come in tonight, if that helps. Just so you don’t have to-,” you suggest.

“Why would you fucking do that?” he yells, snapping his head towards you as he finally turns towards you. You can see it in his eyes: how angry and devastated he is – at Michael, at what happened – and even though you know it’s not personal, it stings all the same.

“Because!” you shout back. “Carmy, you just found out-... something terrible. I just don’t think you should-.”

“Yeah, well you don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re not my mom and you’re not my girlfriend so,” he’s quick to retort, rebelliously.

You scoff at him, shaking your head in utter disbelief.

“You’ve got some fucking nerve, Carmen,” you cut him off with a yell. You know he’s hurting, but this is where you draw the line. “I’m well aware that I am not your girlfriend, but I am your friend, and I care about you.”

You’re right.

He knows you’re right.

He knows he’s being a dick, but it’s like he can’t stop his own rage from spilling out sideways as yells:

“Well, if you don’t want to be here, then get out!”

“Stop it!” you cut him off, venom in your voice.

Carmy looks at you, his bloodshot eyes wide with utter despair.

“You called me, Carmy. So shut the fuck up and let me fucking help,” you lower your voice, bringing the confrontation between the two of you back down.

With his eyes fixed to the floor, his mind zoning out to numb the pain, he manages to get out, “I don’t want to-. I need to go to work tonight.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” you plead softly, yet firmly.

“Yeah, well, you don’t get to make that decision,” he dismisses.

He’s right. You don’t.

“Yeah, okay,” you sigh, giving in.

It’s a horrible idea – for Carmy to go into the restaurant – but you know he’s going to do it anyway.

“What can I do for you in the meantime?”

“I just-, I don’t think I can be alone right now,” he mumbles, averting his eyes once again. “Can you just like… sit here with me? Till we gotta go?”

“Yeah.”

The afternoon passes slowly, and you feel like the both of you have been lit on fire – only a matter of time before you burn his whole place down. As you’re getting ready to leave, Carmy sprints into the bathroom, emptying what little contents he has in his stomach into the toilet. You’d been aware that he’d been having some trouble – throwing up before work – but he’d refused to see a doctor. Another decision he’d made clear wasn’t yours to make. What you weren’t aware of was that it had gotten this bad.

Like you’d imagined, going into the restaurant had been a mistake. It hadn’t taken long for Carmy to blow up at a line cook, mid-shift, over an undercooked duck breast. Sure, it was a big mistake, but Carmy had sent the line cook home after making a very public example of them. After the event, Tim had urged Carmy to take a break, offering to expedite for a few, while you rushed him into the walk-in.

“Hey! You can’t do this shit. Not here. These people look up to you!” you chastise him.

“He’s a fucking idiot! How do you undercook a fucking-,” Carmy yells, his face twisted into a look of disgust.

“Carmy!” you shout, stopping him mid-sentence.

You both know this is not about the duck breast.

You share a moment of silence together, the cold of the walk-in leaving goosebumps on your skin. You lower your voice, a quiet and intentional demand leave your lips as you instruct:

“Listen, I’m going to give you five minutes to fuckin’ lose it in here, and then you’ve gotta pull it together and finish dinner service, okay?”

He nods in response, his lips pressed together in a thin, tight line. You watch him pace a few times, before he clutches at his chest, his breathing becoming more uneven.

This is why coming in had been the worst idea ever.

“Carmy, are you o-?" you start, genuinely worried about him. You feel like your head is spinning. Carmy is losing control and all you can do is watch.

He holds out a hand, as if to stop you from coming any closer, so reluctantly, you leave him to it, closing the door behind you. The sound of empty storage containers being thrown across the walk-in fills your ears, as you close the door to the walk-in behind you. You feel like your heart is caught in your throat and watching him go through this is more painful than you could’ve ever imagined. You take a deep breath before returning to your station, keeping your head down for the rest of the shift.

Dinner service is pure chaos as Carmy undulates from unbroken focus to volatile and unpredictable throughout making the evening hell for the rest of you. The tension is thick, and it’s as if everyone is walking on eggshells around him, more so than normal. By the time it’s over, you insist on walking Carmy home. You make a stop at your favorite deli near his apartment to pick up a quart container of matzo ball soup on the way.

“You gotta eat something,” you encourage, the silence in his apartment deafening.

You’re met with silence as he stares blankly at the table in front of him, his spoon dipped into the soup. Instead, you sit with him, watching him take a few sips of the broth, while the actual food in the soup goes untouched. He doesn’t have the stomach for it.

He doesn’t know if he has the stomach for this either.

All of this. Any of this.

You eventually give in, packing up the soup to put in the fridge for another day, even though you know he’ll probably just toss it when you leave. Just when you think it’s time for you to go, he stops you with the most tender touch to your arm, as he asks:

“Stay?”

His eyes are watery, and although he’s going to let himself cry yet, he looks more vulnerable than he’s looked all day. How could you say no?

“Yeah,” you agree.

You change into one of your favorite t-shirts of his and the pair of sweatpants that he always seems to give you as you get ready for bed. He doesn’t even wear them anymore, as if he knows they’ve become your favorite… as if they’ve just become yours. You spend the evening with the TV on, not talking, just sitting in each others’ company. You watch as he smokes a cigarette inside, stress-running a hand through his slicked back hair from his shift earlier.

Tonight feels heavy.

Tonight is heavy.

Before bed, you fill up a glass of water for him, before placing it on his bedside table. Carmy lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling, as you crawl into bed with him.

He’s too afraid to his close his eye, because if he closes his eyes he’ll picture it: the State Street bridge, Michael….

How could he? he thinks to himself, the bitter taste of betrayal welling up at the bottom of his throat.

You close your eyes, trying your best to fall asleep next to Carmy – something that feels like an impossible task when you can practically hear him thinking out loud beside you. Instead, the two of you just lay there, frozen in silence. You’re not sure how long you’ve been doing it for when you feel Carmy shift closer to you.

He turns to you so tenderly, practically folding himself into your body, earning the smallest gasp of surprise from you. You’ve never seen him like this as he buries his face into your chest, his body shaking against yours. It’s then that you realize he’s crying, and you know it’s highly likely that this is the first time he’s cried since he heard the news.

“Carm?” you whisper, unsure if he wants you to acknowledge it or not.

“Carmy.”

But he doesn’t respond. He just cries.

So you let him.

“I’m so sorry, Carm. I’m so sorry,” you whisper, over and over again.

You stroke his hair, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain of your best friend, but you know there isn’t much you can do. Instead, you let him cry, running your fingers along his scalp and through his delicate curls, desperate to give him any kind of comfort you can. This is breaking your heart. You fight the tears coming to your eyes because this is so not about you right now.

Carmy’s body shakes against yours as he finally lets go, surrendering to the huge waves of pain and grief that crash and pull him under. He feels like he’s being taken under a riptide, never to see the surface again. He knows he’s been wildly unfair to you and as he weeps against your body and he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve someone like you.

Someone who chooses to say, even when he’s being a dick.

Someone who cares enough to fight with him.

Someone who cares for him like this.

When he finally looks up at you with bloodshot eyes and swollen lips, all he can think to do is to kiss you.

It catches you off guard as he surges forward, pressing his lips against yours, that for a moment, you let him.

But reality hits and you’re afraid he’s gotten too carried away, swept up in a moment of grief.

“Carmy, stop it. You’re not-, you’re not okay right now,” you murmur, pushing him away.

He leans his head against your chest again with a sigh, letting out another sob, almost as if he’s given up on the idea. You feel like he’s put you in an impossible position. You’d have been lying if you said you didn’t want to – hadn’t thought about kissing him before – but this felt wrong. He was vulnerable, and you know you’ll both regret it in the morning.

“I’m sorry, Carm,” you apologize quietly. “I just feel like-, well I’d feel like I'd be taking advantage. I don’t think we should.”

His silence only makes you more nervous, beginning to over explain yourself.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I-, I do. I just… I don’t want you to regret it because… because you’re upset right now and cause you more-.”

“Please,” is all he says, cutting you off mid-sentence. With the way he’s looking at you, like you’re the sun, the moon, and you hang the stars, you’re not sure how to say no.

Carmy leans in to kiss you once more before whispering mere inches away from your lips:

“Please.”

He presses his lips against yours again, immediately regretting his past self for not doing this sooner. He’s never tasted anything sweeter than you, and the way you kiss him back seems to bring all thoughts flooding his brain to a halt.

In between kisses you manage enough self control to stammer out, “Are you- are you sure? Is this really what you-?”

“Yes,” he replies, as if it’s a declaration.

“I’ve wanted this for so long. Just-, please,” he pleads, murmuring your name into the soft kisses he begins to leave across your collarbone. “Just wanna feel good.”

“Just wanna feel good,” he repeats.

You surrender, letting go of your own ambivalence as you focus on the way his lips feel against your skin. It’s then that you realize what absolute fucking idiots the two of you had been for the past few years by ignoring this thing between the two of you. For a moment, you’ll tear down the walls, the rigid boundaries that you’ve kept to help you compartmentalize your relationship with Carmy.

There’s no possibility of hiding from it when his body feels this good so close to yours.

The truth is that you are fully, wholly, and stupidly in love with each other.

“Yes,” you parrot.

With your confirmation, his mouth is back on yours, as you’re pulling him on top of you, deeper into your shared passionate liplock. He wonders why he’s denied himself the pleasure of having you, for this goddamn long. His tongue slides against yours, a tender hand moving up to cup your face. The way his name sounds tumbling out of your mouth sends him into a frenzy. It feels absolutely intoxicating and he can’t get enough.

Carmy’s hands begin to wander, fingertips sliding at an experimental pace underneath the hem of the t-shirt you’re wearing. You shudder against his touch, gasping as you anticipate where this is going.

Carmy raises his head to look at you, not sure if it’s a good thing or not.

“This okay?” he asks you, concern evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” you nod, giving him permission. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he whispers.

And then he’s kissing you again, dragging calloused fingertips up and down your torso underneath the shirt, hesitantly making their way to where they’d like to be. You’re not wearing a bra, he realizes, as his fingertips find soft, supple skin at the rounded bottom of your breast. He follows the shape of it, before bringing a cautious palm up to grab hold of the fullness of your breast. You arch into his touch, encouraging him further. Carmy takes his time exploring your body, giving you the lightest touch as his fingertips graze your nipple.

“Can I take this off?” he questions, only willing to move forward if you say yes.

You nod, breathlessly, “Please.”

You watch as he sits up, pushing the hem of your shirt up over your breasts, revealing your bare body to him. He has to hold back a groan, swallowing hard.

Carmy stops what he’s doing, in pure awe of you, as he marvels at you. He can’t believe this is real: that you’re here, laying in his bed, allowing him to do the things he thought could only live in his head.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” are the words that tumble out of his mouth and you think you may cry.

“Touch me,” you whisper desperately, begging him to come back to you.

“Touch me, Carmy.”

Carmy lays his body over yours, and you spread your legs wider, allowing him to fit perfectly between them. He begins to roll his hips against yours as he returns his attention back to your bare breasts. He drags his fingertips over your erect nipples, following his touch with his mouth.

He practically groans as he wraps his lips around one of your nipples, earning a strangled whine from you as his hot, wet mouth engulfs you.

“Carmy,” you moan, arching into him.

He’s rolling his hips against your clothed core on pure instinct, as he takes his time, now exploring unfamiliar territory with his lips and his tongue. You find a good rhythm as he continues to drag his mouth over you, grinding your hips into his underneath your remaining clothes. He’s surprisingly good at this – something you hadn’t expected considering he’d let you know he didn’t have much experience when it came to dating. You assumed that that meant sexually as well.

As Carmy moves to your other breast, you feel one of his hands snake under the elastic waistband of your sweatpants, lifting his hips so he can feel you. You know you’ve soaked through your cotton panties from the anticipation, and it goes right to his dick as he feels just how wet you are. He doesn’t have much experience with this, but he’s seen in porn. He begins to rub circles across your clothed core, while he busies his mouth with exploring your other breast.

But he’s not quite where you want him.

“Wait,” you say, stopping him.

Had he just gotten caught up in the moment?

Did you not want to go this far?

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks you, a concerned tone in his voice.

“No,” you’re quick to reassure him, shaking your head. “No, I just-.”

Instead of explaining, you reach down to grab his hand, guiding him just a little higher up to your clit. He presses the rough pad of his index finger against it, finally touching you where you need him, gasping to let him know that he’s found the right spot. His eyes are locked on you, watching your face change as the new spot you’ve shown him brings you more pleasure than he could’ve imagined.

He practically groans into your mouth when he hears the way you whine his name, and he swears he’ll do anything to hear you say it again.

“There?” he asks you, rubbing tight circles across your clit.

“Yes,” you pant, growing wetter with every touch.

Carmy pulls away just for a moment, daring to touch you underneath your panties. You’re so wet for him, and he thinks he may lose his mind as he slides his index finger in between your folds curiously.

“Take them off,” you practically demand.

“Hm?” he hums, lost in the way you look at him with hooded lids and pupils blown out with pure desire.

He’s never been this guy.

The guy that gets the girl.

He never knew he could feel like this guy, but here you are, begging him to undress you.

“I said take them off,” you repeat yourself, more desperate this time. You take a lighter approach with what you say next, the smallest giggle in your voice. “And while you’re at it, we gotta get you naked too.”

“Yeah,” he says, with the kind of conviction he’d say ‘heard’ with.

He’s stripping off his shirt, and you’re sliding your pants and underwear off with him.

“I have a condom in my emergency kit,” you say, the both of you busy shedding your clothes.

“Yeah?” he asks you, relieved to hear it. He hadn’t thought that far yet.

“Yeah, hold on,” you reply, getting up from the bed.

Carmy thinks he may pass out as he watches you stand, giving him a full view of your naked body. You disappear only for a moment, before returning with the small emergency kit you always keep in your backpack. It’s equipped with all the ‘just-in-cases:’ tampons, panty liners, safety pins… condoms. You pull out a single condom before returning to the bed. Carmy’s kneeling on the bed, and you mirror his body language, doing the same.

“What would you like to do?” you inquire softly.

As turned on and hot for him as you are, you want to make sure that he still wants to do this. He finds himself surprised at your question, not sure how to answer it.

“Think we can just pick up where we left off?” he asks you.

“Yeah,” you reply.

You place the condom down beside you on the bed, before leaning in to press your lips against his again. He inhales as you kiss him, his tongue immediately sliding against yours as one of his hands goes to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. He’s surprised as you pull away from him, beginning to leave hot, open mouthed kisses down his neck, his chest, and he hisses in anticipation as run your hands down his muscular abdomen, following with your mouth.

“Hold on, I uh-,” he stutters out, as he anticipates where you’re going with this.

You pause, sitting up tall as you kneel, your body across from his.

“I just uh… if you do that, I don’t know if I’ll last long,” he admits, a blush running across his cheeks.

“Yeah, no. Totally cool,” you reassure him, before crashing your lips against his once again.

As you tangle your tongues together once again, Carmy begins to lead you down towards the bed, pushing you back, and climbing on top of you. He still has his sweatpants on, so you begin to bring your hands down to them. He hisses as you cup his rock hard erection, pleasantly surprised by what you feel.

“Wanna take these off?” you ask in between kisses.

“Yeah,” Carmy nods, sitting up for a moment.

You wait with baited breath as he strips his sweatpants off, wondering if he’s as thick as he feels. You’re practically pulsing, squeezing around nothing as you finally see him, Carmy, your best friend, fully naked.

God, he’s beautiful.

How had you not noticed how physically attractive he was?

It’s not that you hadn’t noticed. It’s that you hadn’t let yourself think about it.

You reach over to where you left the condom, handing it to him. Carmy takes it, a blush running across his cheeks as he rolls it on, still in disbelief that you’re about to do this. He returns to you, laying his body over top of you as you space for him once again between your legs. He’s hesitant to give you his full bodyweight as he gives you a long, passionate kiss. And before he knows it, you’re reaching down to stroke him, and he’s thrusting into your hand, his breath becoming heavier and heavier.

You feel him as he presses his tip against you, rubbing it up and down before pushing into you. You both gasp as he gives you shallow thrusts, testing the waters, thrusting deeper into you with each one.

He pauses, exhaling as he’s fully inside of you. You’re pulsing around him, practically causing him to lose his mind with the way you feel alone.

“Fffffuck, you feel good,” he moans, trying not to cum right then and there.

He begins giving you shallow, hesitant thrusts, unsure of himself. He wants to make you feel good. And he’s also terrified that this is going to end before it’s even properly started.

Carmy stops again, pausing within you.

“Sorry, I just-.”

“No, it’s okay. Take your time.”

He’s nervous. You can tell he’s nervous and that he’s trying not to cum.

“How about… I take control?” you suggest, hesitantly. “And that way, if you need me to stop we can um… well, you can just tell me.”

“Uh… yeah,” he agrees with a nod. “Sure.”

Clumsily, the two of you switch positions, making sure he knows you’re okay with this. As he lies on his back, staring up at you, you straddle his hips, giving him the smallest smile. You reach down, guiding him into you once again. You gasp as he fills you, his thick cock stretching you, especially in this position. Carmy’s hands go to your hips as he watches you take him.

“You feel really good too, Carm,” you finally say, your hands moving to his chest to brace yourself as you begin shifting your hips forward and back at the most unbearably slow pace.

Carmy thinks he must be dreaming as he watches you ride him. His hands slide over your hips, wrapping around your body so that he can touch your butt. He’s practically digging the pads of his fingers into your hips as you begin moving over him at a faster pace.

“Shit… you’re really good at this,” he groans, as you lean down to kiss him.

You giggle against his lips, and whatever thoughts he has in his head disappear. Carmy begins thrusting up into you, his hands on your hips encouraging you to move a little faster as you kiss him. You’re moaning his name, whining as you feel every single inch of his cock slide against your walls, becoming more and more breathless by the minute. Your gasps turn into moans, getting higher in pitch as you go. His hands are guiding your hips, taking some control back as you grind against each other.

“Carmy,” you cry out as he thrusts his hips hard into you. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah?” he asks. You nod, breathless, as you bury your face into his chest.

He holds your hips down, pinning you down against him as pushing his hips into yours.

“You wanna switch?” he asks, breathless. “Can I-?”

“Please,” you reply eagerly.

You switch positions once more, and as Carmy guides himself into you again, you can tell he’s much more confident than last time you’d found yourself in this position. You wrap a leg around his waist and he holds you there, beginning to move his hips against yours again. He works his way up to a rapid pace, his face turning red as he does, and you’re writhing underneath his body, whispering the dirtiest things into his ear with every single thrust.

“Holy shit, Carmy. You feel so goddamn good too,” you praise him. “God, you’re gonna make me cum.”

“Yeah?” he manages to get out in between grunts.

“Yes. Please let me cum,” you beg him, as he hits that spot inside of you, earning another loud cry.

“Don’t stop.”

He’s surprised to learn that he likes it when you beg as he tangles his fingers with yours, pinning you down so that he can fuck you. With your hand in his, so close to your climax, you let slip:

“I thought about this too. I’ve wanted this for so long too, Carmy.”

“Fuck,” he howls as he drives into you, his sole purpose to earn more praise from you. To hear you cry out his name. To give you what you’ve been begging for.

You angle your hips upward so that he can go even deeper, hitting all the way to the back of you. You’re grasping at his back, his arms, his biceps, hanging onto any piece of him that you can as he shudders, letting out the most guttural sounds. You’re squeezing around him, as he takes you to your high. The feeling of you cumming, squeezing around him like your life depends on it drive him wild, and he’s fucking you through it, the feeling of your orgasm bringing him to his.

As you finally come down, you pull Carmy in for a searing kiss.

“Holy shit, Carm,” you say, breathlessly.

“Yeah,” he pants against your lips.

Even if just for tonight, all feels right in the world.

This feels right.

The light of day is sobering. Before Carmy’s even had a chance to open his eyes, the events of the day before come flooding in, running in vicious circles around his mind: the phone call from Sugar, Richie screaming at him… and then….

Fuck.

He’d crossed the line with you.

He doesn’t know whether to be mad at himself or devastated that he fucked up, considering he’s sure as hell not going to let himself feel anything about Mikey yet.

Michael.

Michael’s dead.

And he might’ve done the one thing he swore he wouldn’t do – the one thing that he’d been afraid of: that he might just lose you.

As you stir in bed next to him, slowly blinking your eyes open, you turn over on your side. Carmy’s sitting on the edge of the bed and you can see Carmy’s stuck in his head. While you’d let yourself surrender to whatever that was last night, you knew today was different.

“Hey,” is all you say, hugging Carmy’s bed sheets closer to your naked body.

“Um… listen. We don’t have to-,” you begin, searching for the right words. “Let’s just forget about this, okay? I don’t-. You’ve got a lot going right now and-.”

You take a breath. You know the two of you can’t be together right now, even after your revelation last night.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Carmy swallows, fighting back the emotions that begin to swell in his chest.

He feels sick to his stomach.

But he doesn’t want to do this in front of you.

“Yeah, no. We can… we can just forget it,” is all he gets out, his eyes fixed on the floor.

“You sure?” you question.

He takes a beat before answering:

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

And even with the declaration you’d made – the promise to forget since neither of you could afford to lose each other – things had become different. In the weeks following, your communications with Carmy were less than normal. While you understood he was processing, grieving, he’d withdrawn from you, and it hurt more than you had the words for.

You’d check in, making sure he knew you were here for him if he needed to talk. But he put his head down, working night after night at the restaurant, cold, stoic, and checked out. You worried about him. And you also knew that you both needed some space from each other.

Some days you regret it – sleeping together – and other days, you don’t. You think that maybe everyone had been right about the two of you all along – that this had been inevitable. But it happened under the worst timing, the worst circumstances and you miss your best friend. You wish, in some ways, that two of you could just go back to normal.

read: chapter five

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robynlilyblack · 2 years

Text

Tissue?

Hermione Granger x fem! Hufflepuff! Reader

Summary: After a fight with her friends Hermione meets a mysterious girl who changes everything

Warnings: swearing, mentions of food and eating, kinda slow burn strangers to lovers, getting together, mutual pining, first kiss, Fred and Hermione's underrated friendship, reader is flirty like Sirius

A/n: 4.1k words, no voldy au, I couldn't help myself making the reader wolfstars adoptive daughter again x thank you for the request! Enjoy 💛

Navigation | Golden Era Characters Masterlist

“Why does he have to ruin everything” Hermione mumbles as she sniffled quietly, picking at the fabric of her dress

She wished the stairs would swallow her whole. Not only was her night ruined due to a stupid red headed boy but she made a scene in front of three of her favourite professors, all who happened to be either the father or godfather of her other twit of a friend

“Tissue?”

She looks up, eyes glassy when she sees you in front of her, adorned in a beautiful dress whose colour complemented her blue one. She admires you for a few seconds, looking down at her like some angel…or maybe that was the backlights doing. Her eyes then drift to your hands, realising you’ve been holding out a small handkerchief the entire time

“Thank you” she accepts the gesture hesitantly, scared about something going wrong, especially when you didn’t leave but smiled kindly at her

“Can I sit?” you ask softly

“Sure” she replies again with some hesitancy

She didn’t recognise you, she knew everyone in her year which meant two things, one she knew with complete certainty, you weren’t a Gryffindor, and the other, you may or may not be in her year. The thing she didn’t know was house, in particular if you were a Slytherin here to mock her

“You look beautiful” you say after a few seconds of awkward silence, at least on Hermione's part

She felt heat on her face at that but didn’t understand why, so many had told her the same thing, even more than your simple compliment so why was it affecting her so?

“Thanks” she says shyly, avoiding eye contact and instead begins to clean herself up with the tissue

After doing so she finally faces you, finding you smiling sweetly at her “Your mascara has smudged a little” you comment, reaching out “May I?” you seek permission

Hermione just nods, holding her breath as you gently wipe her cheek, so close she can feel your breath on her skin

“D-did you get it?” she wonders, voice shaky, merlin why was she so nervous?

“Yeah, you know you look beautiful with it…” you tuck a stand behind her ear “...but you look so beautiful without it too” you tell her

Hermione had to be honest, no one had ever been this nice to her off the bat, it made her confused, were you truly this nice or did you have an ulterior motive?

Before she could speak you were standing up, her heart dropping at the idea of you leaving but then you turned back “The ball hasn’t finished yet” you hold out your hand “Would you like to dance with me?”

The girl found herself nodding wordlessly, accepting your hand and following you faster than her mind could process it all. When it finally caught up you had your hand on her waist leading a slow waltz

“What's your name?” she asks rather abruptly

Your eyes widen, a soft chuckle leaving your lips “Y/n” you say then smile, a smile the girl can’t help but melt under

“Have we met before?” in all honesty maybe she was being silly, maybe you just changed your hair or had a little glow up over summer and she didn’t recognise you because no stranger is this nice

You bob your head “We share a couple of classes but we’ve never spoken. I know who you are though, we just…run in different circles” you answer and she feels like there's a hint of sadness in your last comment hidden behind that golden smile of yours

“And what circle…” her breath hitches as you twirl her around, so smoothly she feels like she's floating on air “And what circle would that be?” she asks, licking her lips and trying to suppress the shyness that overcomes her at your touch

“The under the radar Hufflepuff kind” you giggle at your own statement, she swears when she laughs too your eyes linger on her lips for a moment

“You must be happy your house may win the tournament then huh?” she asks, forgetting her date was another competitor, hell she probably couldn’t remember anything when she was with you, she was like a moth to a flame and fire never looked so pretty than it did on you

What was happening to her?

“Quite” you nod “Ceds going to kick their arses” you say and Hermione lets out a laugh far louder than the joke needed causing her to scrunch her nose in embarrassment

You were about to speak again when the music finished and shifted to something more upbeat and jumpier. Hermione could tell this wasn’t your style, especially as you gently lead her to the edge of the dance floor

“Thank you for the dance” you say, hands never leaving her own and she has to do her best not to let her eyes flutter shut at the way your thumbs run over her knuckles

“No thank you, you saved my night” she replies honestly, you really did save the ball for her and she would remember that forever

“It was my pleasure, really” your last word has an underlying firmness she can’t seem to decipher

There's a tap to her shoulder, turning around she lets her hands fall from yours, ignoring the coldness spreading through them as she faces Victor

“I shall escort you back” he states holding out his arm, that dazzling smile that made butterflies flutter mere hours ago doing nothing now

Hermione takes it before turning back to you, you were smiling but it wasn’t reaching your eyes, at least not until she gave you a smile back as she spoke

“Thank you again y/n”

“Anytime love” you reply just as Victor begins walking and her knees feel weak

Love

After the ball Hermione found herself seeing you everywhere. In the library with Cedric and another girl as you presumably helped research for the next task, in all of the classes she never knew she shared with you, hallways, great hall at meal times…just everywhere. Maybe it was because she was aware of your presence now, or maybe it was because you left an everlasting effect on her at the ball and she was now subconsciously seeking you out

She was sure Ron and Harry had noticed her distracted nature but probably mistook it for being mad as both tried their best to make it up to her. In truth she wasn’t so mad at them anymore, if it wasn’t for them she wouldn’t have met you, and weren’t you just amazing? Sitting there with a smile that could light up people’s days without even trying, your skin positively glowing this morning as the light streamed into the hall, your hair…

“Mione” she feels something hit her nose, making it scrunch

Looking down she sees a corner of crust “What?” she huffs at the twins knowing one of them would have thrown it

“Who are you gawking at?” Fred wiggles his eyebrows while George just smirks next to him

Hermione felt her face grow warm that she was caught in the act, about to say a rather pathetic nothing when Ron grumbles

“Probably Victor” he scoffs, still a little sore about the whole thing

Harry hums in agreement

“Yeah Ron’s right” she agrees too quickly, and she should have known the twins weren’t as easily fooled as her friends

“Oh really?” Fred smirks at her, cocky bastard

“Yeah” she tries to maintain

“Really” and Fred maintains his

“Yes”

“Really”

This goes on for one more 'yes' and 'really' than even George could handle

“Yes really!” he cuts in, gently smacking his twin on the back of the head and pointing at her “Because Victor isn’t over in the direction you were drooling, he isn’t even in the great hall this fine morning”

Hermione’s eyes dart around the room, they were right, Victor was nowhere to be seen and she was between annoyed and embarrassed at that fact

“Wait, so who were you looking at?” Harry asks intrigued while Ron is looking around the room a bit pissed at the thought of yet another person he would not be competing with

“Yeah Mione” Fred eggs on earning one hell of a death glare

“No one” she shakes her head but makes the mistake of letting her eyes flick to you and lingering when you happen to meet her gaze

Fred’s head whips in the direction of you catching the wave and rather flirty smile you send Hermione's way before he turns back, looking at the girl in a surprised shock

“Who is it?” Ron asks with Harry and George leaning in to hear

Hermione sinks into herself, and she’s thankful Fred seems to notice, his playful teasing nature dropping before he puts on a smile “No one lil Ronniekins” he wiggles his nose at his brother “Just wanted to see the look on your face”

George looks a little confused but recovers soon enough, smirking away and not questioning anything. Harry bursts out in laughter as does a few others that had overheard causing Ron to go as red as his hair and throw his half-eaten slice of toast at his elder brother

“Arsehole” he huffs going back to his meal

Hermione looks up at Fred while everyone else is in a fit of giggles, mouthing ‘thank you’ to him and earning a little wink back

Over the next year Fred was a great help while Hermione figured out what was going on. Eventually after Fred pretty much telling her every second he could, dropping all of her stuff in herbology when you bent down in front of her, oh and snapping her quill when some Ravenclaw girl was getting a little too close for her liking she finally knew what it was…she fancied you, like really fucking fancied you

“You gonna ask her out?”

She groans at Fred intrusion, sure he was a good friend but she really wasn’t in the mood

“No” she pouts as Fred takes a seat next to her

He looks at her like she just told him his pranks are genius and not at all annoying “Why?” he looks baffled “You’re fawning over her, telling me how pretty and lovely she is…merlin Mione you came up with a ship name and everything” he argues

Her face heats “I…shut up” she whines “Anyway you’re the one that encouraged me to find the perfect one and stayed up till 3am until we found it”

“And it was time well spent” he laughs, hand moving to grip her shoulder softly “But…you’re avoiding the question Granger. It’s been well over a year now” he reminds her

“I can’t just ask her…what if she doesn't like me, what if she doesn’t like girls? Do I even know if I like girls? I mean I like her but I liked boys before…ugh” she leans her forehead on the table

“So, what you’re saying is your sexually confused and afraid of rejection” he says simply

She tilts her to look up at him “Pretty much” she says, pouting at Fred smiley expression

“Well Granger hate to break it to you but everyone is like that” he shrugs “But if it makes you feel better George went through something similar with Lee and Angelina turns out he’s bisexual, and as for the rejection part I can guarantee you that she fancies you too”

Hermione lifts her head, swatting away the paper stuck to her cheek on the way up “You think?” her mood picks up, if there was one thing Fred wouldn’t kid about it was this

“I don’t think…shut it” he points at her “I know. She smiles at you every chance she gets, she asked you to dance a waltz at the ball and the best till last” he rubs his hands together “I little Ravenclaw birdy I was wooing yesterday told me that she overheard y/n and Cedric talking about the girl she had a crush on and the description more than matches the smartest witch I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing”

Hermione was about to speak, a nervous smile on her face when she and Fred her something fall, turning to look in that direction

“Speak of the angel and there she shall appear” Fred nudges her “Come on Granger, prove why you’re a griff and not a claw”

“I can’t” she shakes her head, fingers gripping the edge of the book nearby “I mean look at her Fred”

“I am, she’s gorgeous and if she wasn’t into you I’d go for it…kidding” he holds up his hands because they both knew he probably wasn’t “Look she’s a person, you don’t have to ask her out just talk to her” he encourages

Hermione looks at him, giving him a nervous look to which he nods his head with a smile

“I’m right here to rescue you if it goes tits up…in a bad way” he raises his eyebrows

“You’re an arse” she places the book down on top of his hand with a little force

He lets out a small yelp “Oww…I may be an arse but you go talk to your girl”

“She’s not my girl” she whispers back

“Not yet” he whisper shouts, making her wave her hand for him to be quiet

Hermione walks up slowly, pulling at her skirt and cardigan, trying to tame some if her wild curls hanging out of her bun

She's just a person, we can talk to people, it’s going to be fine

You turn to her as you reach to place one of the fallen books back, skirt coming up a little as you do, along with that smile on your face

Nope it’s not fine…abort abort…fuck

“Hi there” you beam at her before she can run away “Did you need this?” you drop down from your tippy toes, holding out the book

Say something…

Say anything…

“Are you okay?” you wonder, stepping towards her

She nods “Grand” she squeaks out

“You look a little flushed” you note, hints of amusement in your voice

“It’s rather warm in here” she lets out a nervous laugh

“It is rather hot” you say and she feels herself melt when your eyes flick up and down her figure “How have you been?” you inquire, leaning your forearm against the bookshelf…merlin you were going to kill her

“O-okay. How are you feeling about exams?” she inquires, internally cringing about asking about school

You don’t seem to mind though, smiling away “Good, you’ll find Hufflepuffs are rather laid back about that kind of thing” you chuckle, eyes flicking to the side briefly, clearly seeing something as you smile widens “What about yourself love?”

There it was again, love, over a year later and still that one word made her weak

“Okay” oh my god pull yourself together and say something that isn’t okay “I’m a little nervous of not doing well” she confesses, expecting you to laugh and tell her she’s being silly, smartest witch of her age scared about failing? Anyone would laugh

But you don’t, instead you push yourself off the bookshelves and take one of her hands

“You’ll do great. Either way you’ll have tried your best and that's all you can do” you assure her, thumbs rubbing over her knuckles the same way they did last year

“You’re too nice” she says, biting her lip, eyes lingering on your intertwined hands

“You’ll find love that you’re too nice” you give her hand a squeeze before letting go “You have any plans for Hogsmeade this weekend?”

Hermione’s heart picks up, maybe you’ll ask her out

“Nothing” she answers too quickly, her face heating up “Why?” she certain you can feel…hell hear the giddy excitement from her

“There’s an event happening at Tomes and Scrolls. Ced won the tickets in some raffle a couple weeks ago but it’s not really his thing ya see” you tell her

“Sounds lovely” more than lovely actually, first date you might be taking her to a bookshop? You were perfect for her

“Will be if I had your company” you smile at her but it’s softer than the grin you wore before, almost like you were nervous too just hid it better than she did

“Are you asking me…” she doesn’t want to assume but holy hell does she hope you are

You giggle “If I am, would you say yes?”

“Yes” she nods with a smile

You light up “Grand” you tuck some hair behind her ear “I’ll pick you up at ten on Saturday, your common room” your thumb flicks over her cheek “You really do look beautiful in every light” you say mostly to yourself

Hermione just nods, too overwhelmed to speak and she curses herself as you walk away. She should have told you that you look pretty, Merlin! She didn’t even say it at the ball either…

“So…ouch!” the voice startles her

“Sorry” she apologises as she realises she elbowed Fred in the gut

“It’s alright Granger” he groans “Remind me to never piss you off though…or throw you a surprise party” he mutters the last bit “What?” he smirks seeing her expression

“I have a date on Saturday” she squeals jumping up and down

Fred’s eyes widen, scooping the girl into his arms and spinning her around as they celebrate

“That’s amazing doll” he says kissing her cheek

Someone coughs awkwardly…actually that might just be Harry coughing normally

The unlikely duo freeze, looking to the side to see Harry looking amused while Ron pissed

“What's going on here?” the younger Weasley questions, eyes flicking between the two

“Nothing” they say in union as Fred gently places Hermione down

“Are you two shagging?” Ron blurts out causing Fred to burst out laughing and Hermione to giggle

“No” Fred shakes his head “She’s great but as much as I do love a good bookworm me and Mione aren’t a match” he assures his brother “Don’t think I’m her type either” he says coyly

The girl rolls her eyes, hitting him gently

“So…you two just became friends?” Harry asks surprised “I mean, how did that happen?” he chuckles at the notion

They nod

“Yes, he’s been helping me with some stuff…” the boys look more confused at that until she adds “...that isn’t school related”

For Hermione Saturday came around real slow, and it was not helped in the slightest by Ron and Harry pestering her about her date…yes Fred being Fred let that slip just a bit

“You two aren’t to follow me” she points at her friends who nod a tad scared from their seats on the common room couch…more so after one or five more needless threats to cut up Harry’s cloak if they tried before she headed out to meet you

Exiting the portrait, she finds you leaning on a bannister, looking as gorgeous as ever in your own little world. She had to admit she needed a moment before gaining your attention, she was in a dress paired with jumper from, weirdly enough, Neville’s collection as the boy had shrunk it by accident and gave it to her. You on the other hand were in jeans, a band shirt and leather jacket, looking so cool.

How in the world did she manage to get a date with someone so badass looking?

“Hi” she gains your attention

You turn with a smile on your face before your lips part, eyes flicking down her figure “You look…” you shake your head and she feels herself grow nervous “...how do you get prettier every time?” you let out a sweet chuckle

Hermione relaxes, heart-warming at the compliments

“Could say the same about you” she quips and your eyes light up in a way Hermione adores, noting to do that more often

“You coming then love?” you hold out your hand, palm upwards

She accepts it, letting you lead her anywhere you wanted

Hermione thought the staring would bother her, sure she shied away a few times, even hid behind you once when you kissed her temple whilst waiting in the queue, but she really didn’t mind it. Holding your hand, chatting with you, not worrying about what people thought was refreshing, freeing

The entire date felt that way. She realised as badass as you looked on the outside you were actually a complete softie. Your gentle nature was always at the forefront when you were speaking to her, but it also translated into your nerdiness around books, music, and even quidditch. In fact, with your help she actually began to understand the game better

She found out you were a pureblood, and funnily enough adopted by two professors she admired and knew very well, but you kept your original last name since it would draw attention at school. She also discovered that due to this you were Harry's god sister and got along with her friend very well, spending most summers and Christmas’ together.

It was funny, she had always heard of Harry's god sister but never would have guessed it was you…although now it was clear as day. You dressed and were as laidback as Sirius, flirted like him too, but personality wise you were all Remus, nerdy and soft, total sweetheart

“My friends are having a small gathering this afternoon” she mentions on passing, not wanting to ask encase it was way too soon for you

Your hand drops from hers, yup way too…and it moves around her shoulder…not too soon?

“Are you comfortable with me joining?” you ask, looking down at her with the kindest eyes

She nods “Yeah, I want them to meet you…well for them to meet you properly…again…help me” she stumbles, cheeks hot as she forgot you were practically family with Harry for a hot minute

You move around in front of her, hands now running up and down her arms “You’re alright love, easy mistake to make. We don’t exactly scream it from the rooftops” you coo before your expression softens to something vulnerable, the same vulnerability you showed when you asked her out “I only have one question”

“What would that be?” she reaches out to your jacket before sweetly patting it and withdrawing her hands, an act which makes you smile a bit

“Who do you want to introduce me as?”

She looks at you confused “What do you mean?”

“Like” your hands drop down to take hers “as your new friend…or…”

“Or?” she extends the syllables

“More than a friend”

Her lips make an ‘o’ shape “I hadn’t thought about that” she answers honestly

“That's okay” she can hear the slight hurt in your voice you try and mask, the small crack when you said that's breaks her heart “I can just be your friend until you want to tell them otherwise…if you want otherwise of course” you let out a nervous giggle, accompanied by an uncharacteristic shy smile “I might have misread everything” you confess, swallowing hard

“You haven’t misread anything sweets” she replies right away, the very pet name that had been on her tongue all day slipping out

She was about to apologise for the slip when she saw your face. How the tables had turned, she had rendered you quite flustered

“Can you say that last part again?” your hands squeeze hers

“Sweets?” she repeats and your cheeks rise, lips pressing together “You like it?”

“Love it” you whisper before leaning in “Can I?”

She doesn’t answer, instead leans in, pressing her lips against yours firmly. You chuckle into it, hand moving to cup her cheek and gently parting your lips

“Something wrong?” she panics

You shake your head, pecking her nose “Nothing, you’re just cute is all” you say with the upmost endearment “Was that your first kiss?”

“Was it that obvious!” she exclaims, burying her head into your chest “I’m sorry” whines

She can feel the vibrations of your chest before you course her to look at you “Maybe a little” you admit but as embarrassed as she was your gaze was so soft it made her feel okay again “Why don’t we try it again but this time copy my movements”

She nods, perking up at the idea of kissing you again. Your thumb brushes over her cheek down to her lips, pulling down the bottom one before leaning in. Your softer than she was, lips moving slowly until she finally begins to copy.

To start it’s a little awkward as she’s thinking too…

“Don’t overthink it lovely” you murmur “Let yourself melt into it”

She does just that, lips moving in sync as the world around her is forgotten.

Not seeing her two twits of friends coming out of a nearby shop, one in a happy shock the other like his brain stopped working, or the two identical people down the road, one smiling proudly before telling the other that was his doing. Nor did she see the three professors, two who would later be her father in laws, all smiling to themselves and exchanging money

Thank you for reading 💛

#hermione granger x you #hermione granger x reader #hermione x reader #hermione and reader #hermione granger and reader #hermione granger fluff #hermione granger #hermione fanfiction #wolfstar daughter #wolfstar x reader #remus x reader #sirius x reader #fredweasley #robynsrequests

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propertyofwhitney67 · 2 months

Text

Extra Help

M!Winter x AFAB!Reader

Words: 761

TW: teacher/student, cockwarming

Note: I got really horny and needed this old man so here we are

Inspo post

I’d been teasing him the entire class period. Subtly parting my legs every once in a while, showing off my wet cunt. Even occasionally reaching down and playing with myself when I knew he was watching. I could tell he was getting worked up. I’m surprised he hasn’t pulled me aside like he normally does, forcing me into a chastity belt for the rest of the day.

“Y/n. Meet me after school, we need to talk about your grades.” Not his best excuse, I was the best in class and shouldn’t be worried about my grades.

I smirked and nodded, “Yes sir.” He acknowledged me with a nod and returned to preparing for his next class.

Robin nudged me with his elbow on the way out of class, “What’s that about?” Sometimes he’s too curious for his own good. “You get great grades.”

I chuckled and waved him off, “Probably just a chance for extra credit or something.”

After school I didn’t bother changing out of my school uniform, just quickly walking to Winter’s classroom. I stopped short of the door and politely knocked, “Come in.”

I entered the classroom, closing the door behind me. “You wanted to see me?” I dropped my bag on a chair and stood in front of his desk. “Did I do something wrong, sir?” I asked, feigning innocence.

Winter sighed, “You’re such a pain sometimes, Y/n.”

“Yet you still can’t get enough.” I joked and walked around his desk, standing beside him. “Do you need any help?” I made a show of bending over and leaning on his desk.

He put a hand on my bare upper thigh before picking up a pen, “Though I’d have you help me grade some papers, it’ll keep you out of trouble for a while.” He handed me the pen and gestured to the pile of papers, “You’re a smart girl, you should know all the correct answers.”

I pouted, “Really? I thought we could have some fun.”

“Maybe if you do as you’re told.” He told me a matter a factly before pulling me into his lap. “Do you think you can do that, Y/n?”

I huffed but nodded, “Yes sir.”

He wrapped a hand around my waist and readjusted me on his lap, “Good girl.” I hummed happily at his praise and quickly got to grading the papers, wanting to get the boring part over with.

Winter seemed content to let his hands roam my body while I graded the papers. He was quiet for the most part, only grunting when I moved around too much or when he corrected a mistake I missed. I felt him harden under me, “Sir?” I asked coyly, shifting in his lap.

He cleared his throat, “Stand up.”

I smirked, dropping the pen and standing as instructed. I didn’t bother turning around as I heard him undo his pants, knowing what was going to happen. He lifted my skirt and slowly guided me back down onto his lap. I gasped, feeling his cock against my slit, “Winter…”

“Shh…” Winter shushed me, not wanting to draw the attention of anyone who was passing by the classroom. He doesn’t want to be caught fraternizing with one of his students.

I moaned lowly while he groaned as he slipped his cock in, “Fuck...”

Winter rubbed circles on my hip, “Watch your language, it’s not becoming of a young lady.” I knew he was only half joking but I didn’t have a comeback, I couldn’t think straight with him inside me. “Keep grading.” He instructed while handing me the pen. I whined but took it and went back to grading.

It’s always nice sitting in his lap and cockwarming him. I can relax when I’m with him, “What’s on your mind?”

“I wish we could spend more time together…” I explained my thoughts while fidgeting with the pen.

He softly kissed my shoulder, “I know.” Winter’s busy and we don’t get to spend much intimate time together. He took the pen from my hand and put it in its proper place on the desk, “I think you’ve done enough.”

A pit formed in my chest, fearing I said something wrong. I took a deep breath and stood up, fixing my skirt and stepping away, “No.” I turned back, surprised. “I still have some extra time to spend with you.”

I smiled happily and hopped up on his desk, spreading my legs and giving him a perfect view of my cunt. “How much time?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “You’re a handful.”

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

#dol #dol x reader #dol winter #winter the history teacher #winter dol #degrees of lewdity #winter degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity winter the history teacher #degrees of lewdity winter #degrees of lewdity fanfiction #degrees of lewdity fanfic #degrees of lewdity imagine #degrees of lewdity imagines #dol fanfiction #dol fanfic #winter x reader #dol winter x reader #my writing

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ccawz · 11 months

Text

skz as keshi songs

a/n: stray kids vs keshi for my top artist on spotify. but i can’t listen to bandaids without thinking about chan. these are loosely based off the songs, surface-level lyrics.

warnings: word counts differ and are not consistent (85-145) half angst half fluff, realizing you’re (not you) falling out of love (ouch), Chan is not present (alluding to disassociation, not explicitly) alcohol. Before each blurb the category and word count are stated.

ot8! x gn!reader. 1.1k words total. don’t quote me on that

Jisung— hell/heaven (opening line), 85 wc | fluff

“Tell me more.” He adores you. Han Jisung could listen to you talk all day and night about anything and everything and remember every single word you say. “You’re cute when you ramble.”

A break in your sentence makes him laugh, hand falling from holding his head to holding your hand lightly. They’re clammy, but Jisung doesn’t mind.

A timid smile, Jisung melts, and another sparkle gets added to your eyes as you continue, gaze set on his fingers laced with yours across the table.

Seungmin— 2 soon, 141 wc | angst

“I miss you.” The voicemail sounds choppy, and you can hear the bustling sound of a crowd in the background and the loud cheers celebrating their milestone. “These parties aren’t the same without you. I don’t want to be here without you. Where are you?”

Seungmin sounds desperate near the end. You’ve come to the conclusion that he’s drunk, from the way his words slur to the way you know he would never say this with a sober mind.

“What did I do?” He asked. You can hear the tears in his voice. “How could I be stupid enough to lose you?”

The voicemail ends with that, and it has you wondering if the other seven are the same. Seungmin pleading, asking questions only he could answer, and him being drunk.

Your thumb hovers over his contact, and you call him.

Jeongin— It’s you, 104 wc | fluff

The first night you stayed over, Jeongin felt his heart stop when he saw the way his covers were swallowing you whole.

Loving was easy to do when it came to you, he guessed.

His smile grows when he sees you exit his bedroom wrapped up in one of his blankets, loving how cozy you look. “Hi.” The smile is evident in his voice, someone with their back turned would have noticed.

Chan, that someone, turns out of curiosity, biting back a grin when he sees Jeongin make his way toward you with stars in his eyes. He still gets excited to see you.

Chan— bandaids, 132 wc | hurt/comfort, read w caution

Chan couldn’t remember the first time it happened, him sleeping in your room every night. Was it when he was stressed about deadlines? …No, he’d stayed at the studio all day and night. Was it when you invited him over for dinner, and it was too late for him to go home?

Well, anyway.

“You should’ve told me.” Your voice was faint, he would’ve mistaken it for someone walking outside. Chan can’t hear you, feel you, or even see you. His mind is somewhere else, somewhere far, and his world is collapsing in front of him.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him, he can feel it now, the light stroking of your hand down his back. The ghost-like kisses to spot between his shoulder blades. “You don’t have to cry alone. I’m here.”

Minho— us, 96 wc | angst

Minho can feel things changing in front of him, and he can’t do anything about it. The touches don’t linger, the gaze feels colder than before, and the kisses seem half-hearted and filled with nothing but bitterness.

He admits it, that he hasn’t been as warm to you lately, but he never loved you any less. He watches you cook breakfast for the two of you with confused eyes. He sees you sneakily pass Dori a pancake crumb and press your finger against your lips to keep a secret.

But he doesn’t feel warmth like before.

Felix— summer, 95 wc | fluff

“Summer’s only three months,” Felix says, breath fanning against your lips. “Don't fall in love, yeah?”

The way you look at him makes his head spin. The same could be said about him, how his eyelashes hit his cheeks when he blinks slowly. Your hand reaches to his face, thumbing over the freckles littering his cheeks. You can feel them warm under your touch.

“I think I can manage.” You whisper back. Inching slowly towards him.

Felix stops just before you could kiss him, smiling at the way you frown. “I was talking to myself.”

Hyunjin— beside you, 116 wc | fluff (?)

Hyunjin glares darts into the person whose arm was around you from across the room. A piercing gaze that has bystanders inching away from the scene, clearing a path when he makes his way toward you.

He leans close, whispering right into your ear. “You’re gonna settle for him?” He muses, “When you have me?” He grins when you turn your attention towards him instead and smiles politely at the person you were with before dragging you away.

“You’re so jealous. It's genuinely annoying.”

He hums, wrapping an arm around you. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart,” he pressed a kiss to your temple, drinking in the flustered expression that came from it. “It’s just you and I.”

Changbin— i swear i’ll never leave again, 128 wc | hurt/comfort

He regrets not being grateful for the messages, your daily reminders for him to take care of himself just as much as he did his members. The pack of sticky notes he never remembers packing were filled with sweet words from you.

He goes through them now, even when you're on the other side of the door, waiting for him to finish packing his things. He doesn’t want to leave.

The first thing you see when he opens it are the tears that are building in his eyes and the quiver of his lips when you move to hold him.

So this was love. The aching, the yearning, and the heartbreak. Changbin wanted all of it. He wanted all of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

ot8, your choice— drunk, 145 wc | angst

It happens again. Another after-party, another night of watching your friends get drunk, another night of seeing him being happy without you.

You see him across the room, laughing it up with one of his friends, nursing a cup of whatever miscellaneous alcohol they were serving. Maybe it was an espresso martini, he likes his coffee just as much as he did his booze. He thanked the person who created it.

Later that night, you find yourself thinking about him while staring at the ceiling. Had he found someone new? Someone who could give him the same adrenaline you had when you first got together. Was he thinking of you just as much as you were thinking of him?

You turn on your side, cringing at the wet feeling of tears pressing against your cheek. Did he find it hard to move on like you?

a/n: i was actually going to make Felix’s sad instead of Lino but, maybe next time.

#skz x gn reader #stray kids x gender neutral reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #han jisung x reader #kim seungmin x reader #yang jeongin x reader #bang chan x reader #lee minho x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #seo changbin x reader #changbin x reader #lee know x reader #lee felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #hyunjin x reader #chan x reader

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kendrene · 1 year

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Prompt: Ava/Beatrice + genderfluid!Ava please?

“Are you mad?” You have to force the words past the lump in your throat, not sure that you really want her to answer. But Beatrice has been quiet since you told her, and she has that faraway look in her eyes, the one she gets when she’s thinking too hard about something. There’s a book open in her lap, and you can tell, you are sure she hasn’t read a single word.

“Am I-” Beatrice looks up, looks at you for the first time since you’ve said - mumbled, nearly lost in your cup of morning tea - hey, I don’t feel like a girl sometimes, is that okay? - and frowns. “Did you forget to unload the dishwasher again?”

“Uhm. No?”

“Ate all my leftovers?”

“Nope.” To be honest, you've been tempted. The kung pao chicken Beatrice ordered last night from Aunt Fēn had smelled very very good.

“Have you taken my fleece without asking? You know, the green one with the sleeves that are too long for you and you have to roll up?”

God, you love that fleece. It's soft and cozy and above all it always smells of Beatrice, even after washing.

"It's in the closet. I know because I wanted to wear it, but then I remembered I should ask you for it first."

"Thank you, Ava." Beatrice places a piece of paper in between the pages of her book, closes it and pushes it aside. "Then why are you asking me if I'm mad?"

You frown, shaking a corner of the napkin you've been tearing apart loose from where it stuck to your finger. You expected this conversation to be hard. You had resigned yourself to it. You’re not prepared for it to be confusing.

“Beatrice.” You begin slowly, trying to pick your words with care. It isn’t easy. You’re not the kind of person that often thinks before they speak. “None of the things you’ve asked me about make you mad when I do them.”

Oh.

You blink.

Ohhhhh.

“Exactly.” Beatrice reaches across the table, squeezes your hand with a gentle smile. “So why would I be mad that you told me about yourself?”

“I don’t know.” You admit, dropping your gaze. The tea cup’s left a wet ring on the surface of the table, and you dip the tip of a finger in it, drawing lazy figure eights. “Maybe because I kind of sprang it on you? Made you fall madly in love with me then went: surprise! I’m not a girl all the time, actually.”

“Ava.” Beatrice flips your hand palm up, tracing her thumb across it until she’s resting it on top of the small knot of veins at the hinge of your wrist. Your pulse quickens, races fast enough for her to feel. “When I fell in love with you, I didn’t expect you not to change.”

“No?”

She shakes her head, still smiling.

“That would be falling in love with an idea. But we all change, we all grow. Sometimes we have parts of us we don’t discover until we’re ready, or until we reach a turning point in life. There’s no time limit on it.”

“So you’re okay with it? Even though I don’t have it all figured out, yet?” You want to explain that it feels shiny and new, but also familiar, like a pocketful of change you forgot inside an old coat only to be pleasantly surprised when you unearth it a couple seasons later. You want to tell her that some days you look at yourself in the mirror and you do see a girl, but not the kind that Sister Frances had in mind when she had refused to cut your hair as short as you’d have liked and forced you to wear dresses. That at night you lie awake till late, listening to her breathing even out as she falls asleep, and imagine the friction of your nape, shaved bare, against the cotton of the pillow.

And, sometimes, you think, maybe, you’re a fraud. “What if I’m wrong?” Your voice shakes a little. “What if it turns out this was a waste of time?”

“Getting to know yourself is never time wasted.” Beatrice lets go of your hand and comes around to your chair, sinking to her knees there. “I love you, Ava” She says and you cling to her words the same way she clings to your wrists, the two of you forming one lifeline. “Even if you eventually decide this label doesn’t fit. Even if it turns out none of them do, I love you.”

You lean down, rest your forehead against hers and it feels a bit precarious, this position, like when people refer to you as she. But Beatrice loops her arms around you, steady. Ready to catch you.

And you know that, no matter what, she always will be.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava x bea #ava silva #sister beatrice #genderfluid ava silva #dren writes

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kikufuku01 · 1 year

Text

I Love You Always

Sukuna x Reader

Part 10 Dancing on Your Own ♡ ♡ ♡ Part 11 Toxic in You series m. list

Reblogs likes and comments are appreciated!

Taglist is open, just message me if you'd like to be tagged in upcoming posts! Must be 18+!

It hasn’t been the same since. Sukuna acts like he’s fine with you when you’re around the others, but now his eyes don’t linger on you. He barely starts a conversation with you, shit, he talks to Kazuya more than he does with you. Kaede thought it was weird but you told her it was nothing. Just friends outgrowing each other due to hanging out too much in the past. They don’t seem exclusive yet either, so it’s safe to say that they’re still talking? You don’t know, but you’ve been trying to drown yourself in Kazuya as much as possible. You’ve been ditching Kaede’s group invites, saying that you and Kazuya were already busy, and when he’d try to join them, you would tell him to give them some space.

Another thing is, you’re completely dreading today. It just feels like it’s gonna be a bad day. You’re pushing the cart around the store with an empty mind while your mom adds things in. She’s on the phone with your dad, talking about work or whatever, so you’re just left alone to follow aimlessly.

“Did you want this, sweetheart?”

She’s holding a pack of Himemaru rice crackers in the air to get your attention. You barely look at them, “sure.”

Just like that, she drops them in the cart and continues her conversation on the phone. Nothing in particular catches your attention since you don’t seem to have much of an appetite lately. You wouldn’t call it depression either, that’d be going overboard. You just miss how things were before.

Your mom taps your arm, “are you alright these days? You’re not grabbing all the snacks you usually eat.”

“I’m on a diet,” you lie, turning into the next aisle.

She stops you right there and crosses her arms, a worried look in her eyes. They search you for answers before she opens her mouth again, “you know, before I was afraid you were eating too much and now…”

Her nervous smile quivers, “you’re not eating and it’s a drastic change. These are also signs of pregnancy, sweetheart. You’ve been going out a lot and staying out during late hours, I’m afraid of what you’ve been doing.”

“Mom–”

“I’m not stupid. I was your age once too, you know. I know that you’re having fun, but I just wish for you to be safe. Your father hasn’t caught on, but I am concerned. How about after we shop, I take you to the clinic to get a checkup?”

“I haven’t done those things yet, so there’s nothing to be scared of. We’ll just waste our time going over there.”

The attitude in your tone takes your mom by surprise but she nods in defeat, “you sound like you’re telling the truth, then.”

You stick your tongue out at her to lighten the mood, “let’s just finish this up and go back home.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Your dad has been walking on eggshells around you as well over the last few months. He doesn’t speak to you any different, but maybe he too can pick up on your shift in mood. Is it really that drastic? Surely you’ve always been a grump, so what’s the big difference?

“I’ll take those,” he says as he takes the groceries from your hands.

You allow him to take them and follow him into the kitchen to help sort out the items. Your mom also comes in to help, leaving out what she’ll make for dinner.

“Will you be joining us?”

You look at your dad with a shrug, “I think I have plans with someone, so I’m not sure.”

He juts his lips but nods understandably, “you are going out with a female friend or male?”

“It’s a mix of both genders. We’re a group of people.”

“Shouldn’t you introduce us so that we know who you’re with?”

“It’s not necessary, so no.”

You give him stern eyes and head towards your bedroom. You’re annoyed by people constantly prying into your life. You don’t want them to meet Kazuya because they’ll misunderstand what he is to you, and you most certainly do not want them to meet someone like Sukuna. They’ll only judge, because that’s all they do. Especially your mom.

Since you’re bored, you decide to change out of what you’re currently wearing and put something else on. “I’ll be back later,” you shout as you close the door behind you.

Your feet guide you through the area you first saw Sukuna. He’s not there anymore, obviously. The spot is now taken over by a guitarist, playing his heart out to make some extra cash. The tune sounds nice to your ears, but it does strike a couple of heartstrings. A grin appears on your lips as you dig into your wallet, grabbing a single twenty. You diligently place the bill in his guitar case and back up into the rest of the crowd again to listen.

The man sends you a gracious smile and tips his head at you, “thank you~”

Your hands come out in front of you and wave, “don’t mention it.”

The man leans towards a smaller build, with soft fluffy hair and delicate looking hands. He’s pretty, but you can tell he’s fairly young, possibly mid-teens. He’s completely different from Sukuna– why are you even comparing the two? You snap out of your own thoughts and turn around to leave the crowd. Probably wasn’t a wise choice to revisit such a nostalgic area.

You shove your airpods in and blast music to drown out the real world while you walk to the next destination. It doesn’t take you too long, but you push through the doors and approach the hostess, “hi, I’m sorry, do you know if Mastuyama Kazuya is working today?”

She beams brightly and bows a bit, “oh yes, his shift should be over in a few hours. Let me get him for you, he’s in the back.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he greets, coming out from the back.

“Just thought I’d visit you for a bit,” you reason, “sorry, is it rush hour for you?”

Kazuya titters softly, “you’re fine, the kitchen can handle it.”

You push your hair behind your ear as you speak, “I’ll just be a second. I know you’re busy, so are we still going to the movies later tonight?”

“About that…” he trails off.

He wipes the sweat from his forehead with his forearms and pouts a bit, “I must be famous today. Sukuna and Kaede came to visit not too long ago.”

“Did they?”

You’re not sure as to why he’d bring them up, but you listen anyway.

Kazuya gestures towards a table, “yeah, they finished their meal like half an hour ago.”

“What do they have to do with our plans later?”

“Matsuyama, we need you back on the stove,” an employee says as he pokes his head out.

Kazuya nods hurriedly at him, “I’ll be right there.” He gently pinches your cheek, “they invited us to the club tonight and I kind of agreed without thinking. Don’t be too mad, okay? I gotta go, so I’ll see you tonight. See ya!”

“But–”

A fat sigh blows past your lips at the sight of him rushing back into the kitchen. Damn, you knew today felt shitty for a reason. Clubbing? With Sukuna? In a place where alcohol is involved? Not that you have to drink, but the environment is giving you flashbacks of that night, and it’s not bright. You will admit, there are times when you have dreams of that night and it drives you crazy! It’s that guilty conscience of yours…

Maybe you can find a way out of this, right?

♡ ♡ ♡

Kaede keeps blowing up your phone about tonight’s plan. She wants to know what you’ll wear, how you’ll do your hair etc. You’re not answering her much, just giving her short responses. Do you sound like a bitch? Probably. Do you care? Not really. Everything in your closet seems too bland and stupid but you managed to figure something out. It wasn’t anything too flashy, since you still have to see your parents, but enough to get you into the club.

You’re outside the gate, waiting for Sukuna’s car. He decided it’d be cheaper and safest to just use his chauffeur and who are you to argue against that? There’s a mix of emotions that you’re feeling as you wait, but the most defined one is anger and irritation. You don’t want to see Sukuna and Kaede flirt, mainly because you’ve been getting those flashbacks. Shit, you can barely look them in the eyes.

Right as you’re thinking this, you see the familiar black car pull up. It stops right in front of you and the passenger window rolls down.

“Get in,” he spits out coldly.

You barely catch it. That’s how low it is. Loud enough just for you to hear. He’s not even looking at you, he’s just staring straight ahead, and you want to smack that big ol’ head of his. You want to shove your hand through the window and fuck up his stupid, gelled back hair. Does he realize how stupid he looks? Okay, he doesn’t look stupid at all, you’re just being petty, but that’s okay!

You groan and open the back door to see both Kazuya and Kaede. They smile at you and shower you in compliments, ones that go in your ear and out the other. You’re only focusing on the back of his stupid pink hair. He got his roots retouched, how conceited. Ugh, and his cologne is too overwhelming. It makes your stomach churn.

“You doing okay?”

Kazuya’s eyebrows are pointed upwards in a worried way as he examines your sour face. Upon realization, you fix your face and hum, “peachy.”

You look at what Kaede is wearing and you instantly feel insecure. The feelings you feel, it’s the same as when you introduced Kaede to Sukuna. Why do you keep feeling this way? It’s annoying. Her hair is loosely curled, her makeup is done smokey, complimenting the dress she has on and her heels are sexy and strappy. Her charisma is even crazier tonight.

“You look sexy,” you compliment, sending a wink her way, regardless of the bad feelings inside.

Kaede giggles and shies away, “stop~ you’re teasing me.”

Your focus then turns towards Kazuya and your fingers land on the sleeves of his shirt, “you look great too, Kazuya.”

No one sees the red hues that glare through the rearview mirror, you’re all much too focused on your own little conversations, blabbing about this and that. Sukuna’s jaw tightens at the sight of you and he ignores the way your laugh sends shivers down his spine. You’re a fucking ungrateful bitch, that’s what you are.

Thankfully the ride isn’t too long. You’re all dropped off in the middle of the street and left to wait in line for the club. Kazuya is walking in front with Sukuna while Kaede holds your arms for support. It wasn’t too wise of you guys to pregame in the car, but it already happened, so.

“Where are you going?”

You call out with a glare and Sukuna barely looks back at you, “to the front.”

Kazuya spits out short apologies to the people you’re all cutting and taps Sukuna, “shouldn’t we be waiting in the back?”

“I work here,” Sukuna says, smiling his best.

Oh, that’s right. Sukuna works as a bartender at a club. This must be the place. Why didn’t it click in your head sooner?

Kaede’s grip on your arm is so tight that you feel like your arm will snap off. You’re about to say something to her, but Sukuna reaches out for her and takes her from you, “come here.”

He greets the bouncer and whispers something in their ear. They don’t even hesitate to let you all through, and as crazy as it is, you smile at Kazuya with excitement and raise your eyebrows, “I guess we don’t gotta pay.”

“Does that mean we get free drinks too?” Kazuya jokes, pulling you closer to him as the music begins to blare louder.

Sukuna chuckles, “that, you gotta pay for.”

You promised yourself not to drink too much, in fear you might slip up. Kaede and Sukuna, however, have been taking shots left and right. Their tab must be huge. Kazuya is the only one completely sober, but he’s having fun regardless, dancing with no shame. He’s fun to be with, at a time like this. You’re trying too, you are.

In order to distract yourself, you continue to dance with Kazuya, but not in a sensual way. Just goofy moves and whatnot. You’re not too sure how long it’s been, but maybe you guys have been here for two hours already. You’ve lost the other two in the crowd, so it helps to keep you distracted.

There’s just one thing… luck is never on your fucking side!

Kazuya reaches into his back pocket and leans towards your ear, shouting, “I gotta take this!”

You follow him towards the bathroom area and wait for him there to avoid separation. You pray that it’s a useless phone call, but something in your gut tells you otherwise. Approximately six minutes pass and Kazuya comes back out with a sorry smile.

There’s dread in your eyes.

“No, what’s wrong?”

He thins out his lips and gives you a soft caress before leaning towards your ear to shout, “sorry, y/n, but I just got a call from work. Someone had to go home suddenly and no one else could cover their shift.”

“But it’s almost eleven–”

His eyes shut, “I know, I know, but our restaurant stays open until 1am and they don’t have another chef. I’m sorry, y/n.”

You bite your tongue and huff, “it can’t be helped.”

Kazuya frowns too, since he feels sorry for having to suddenly abandon you, “I can help you search for the others before I leave–”

“Just go,” you blurt, your chest swelling with the action.

When you see the hurt in his face, you apologize, “sorry, it’s not your fault. It’d be better if you arrived over there quickly. I’ll look for them myself.”

You’re both shouting over the music, but you can hear each other clearly. He looks around the club once more before pulling you into a hug, “I’ll see you later, y/n.”

“Yeah,” you mutter against his chest.

♡ ♡ ♡

So, you might’ve had a few more shots. Just three more. Your vision isn’t fucked up, but your anger has subsided. Oh, you’re also dancing way more, now that you’re here by yourself, but it’s still fun. You get a couple of guys and girls here and there, but they know the drill, they don’t stay too long. In all honesty, you’ve kind of forgotten all about the other two people you came with.

That was, until… You’re shouting over the music with a random group of people you’ve found. It’s a mix of both women and men, mainly consisting of women. They know how to party, how to have fun. You watched them take body shots off of each other and when they offered you, you quickly denied, “it’s okay, I can’t get too drunk!”

“Awh, maybe next time then,” one of the men suggests, giving you a cute pout.

Though he suggests it, neither of you bother to exchange socials; his words nothing but empty. You sway to the loud music and look around, your eyes scanning over hundreds of faces but… you see him. You see him anywhere. You see him in the midst of the crowd, no one but him. It’s not because of his bright pink hair, it’s not because of his tattoos. You see him because he is Ryomen Sukuna.

All of your movements still instantly as you watch what’s in front of you. He’s stuck in the middle of a crowd with rowdy people, but in his arms is a very drunk Kaede. Her eyes are closed as she grinds her hips against his, her arms lifted and wrapped around his neck as a way to help support herself, even though he’s got both palms planted on her hips. Their faces are so close that it’s almost like they’ll kiss, and it sparks a fire in your chest. You feel it all at once while your head spins at the sight. Your chest stings, your heart falls, your face feels heated, and your heart is pounding so hard against you that it hurts. There’s a stupid, fat lump in your throat as you continue to watch them dance with each other.

His expensive silk shirt is unbuttoned, like always, and you see the way Kaede’s nose dips closer to his bare skin. Will she lick him? Sniff him? They’re dancing so sensually. Are they both drunk? Is he taking advantage of her? Are they together? Have they done more than this? A million questions race through your head as you stomp through the crowd, not caring that you rudely bump into people.

With hate filled eyes, you march over and shove a random girl out of your way. You’re so focused on your own heightened emotions that you don’t care if you get into a fight. She glares at you, “what the fuck is your problem?!”

You ignore her and continue to push through. Without thinking, you grab Sukuna’s wrist and yank him away from Kaede, making them both stumble.

“What the fuck are you two doing?! Are you fucking out of your minds?!”

The poor girl is much too intoxicated to understand the situation, only reaching out to grab Sukuna’s hand while her head leans on his back for support. He looks down at you coldly, “what?”

Fuck, you’re too stunned to speak now. Where did all that anger go? It seems to have disappeared the moment he laid eyes on you. His eyes pierce through you so harshly. His nostrils flare as his patience runs out and he steps back to grab Kaede by her waist. He then proceeds to use his other hand to grab at your forearm harshly, choosing to drag you guys to the bar. He quickly waves over one of the bartenders, “this girl is with me. Make sure to have someone watch over her in the back room.”

“Don’t take too long, can’t guarantee that boss will let her stay.”

Sukuna sighs in annoyance, “tell him she’s with me. He won’t care.”

He doesn’t wait for the other guy’s response and continues to drag you. You’re a bit scared with how shady the door looks, but he drags you out and you realize that you guys are in an alleyway. Sukuna’s chin rises, “what the fuck was that all about?”

You glare up at him as he continues, “I was hitting it off with Kaede. Why’d you do all of that?”

“I’m worried,” you stupidly admit.

You hate how weak you sound. You hate how unconfident you’re feeling from just his gaze.

Sukuna scoffs out loud at you, “worried about what? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

He steps closer to you, “for you to be with Kazuya without needing to worry about me? You set me up with Kaede and now you’re concerned?”

His face leans down, hovering over yours as a petty smirk draws itself on his lips. Your heart feels like it’s about to explode. You raise your chin pridefully, scoffing at his attitude, even though you had one first, “jeez, you must really like her. I didn’t think you’d be that upset about it.”

“Well, I am,” he quickly replies. There’s spite laced in his voice.

You blink a few times at his confirmation, and it seems to calm your sudden burst of anger. What used to be irritation morphs into something of shame and you lower your face a bit, “sorry for acting out then. Go back to her.”

You want to leave. You want to go home and cry. You want to be anywhere but here. You’re already turning around to walk away from him but he calls out angrily, “we’re not done talking, y/n.”

You hate the way he says your name.

“I think we are,” You’re only a few steps away from him, “you can go back to being touchy with her.”

Sukuna groans to himself, his voice becoming more stern, “I said we weren’t done talking. Stay still and look me in the eyes.”

You turn around to face him, “it’s fine, it was a spur of the moment.”

You motion towards the heavy door, “let’s just go back, she’s probably worried about you.”

With heavy footsteps, you try to get past him. Sukuna has other plans. He stops you and steps in front of you again, “y/n, I’m serious. Tell me what that shit was about. You had no fucking right to do that, to her or me.”

“I–”

Why are you getting choked up? It fucking sucks. This shit fucking sucks! What the fuck are you even doing? Why were you so mad in the first place?

Sukuna’s expression mocks you, a sneer on his face, “what, you can’t talk now? All of a sudden, the words can’t come out of your throat?”

He brings his hand up to your face and his thumb grazes your bottom lip gently, “you seemed to do just fine earlier when you were telling us off.”

There’s a stinging sensation in the corner of your eyes. Ah shit, don’t tell me it’s tears. What are they? Angry tears? Sad? Hurt?

Sukuna chuckles deeply, his thumb still on your lip, “don’t tell me you’re gonna cry now.”

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you say as you swat his hand away from you.

You quickly spin around to walk, hoping that you get to the end of the alley quickly. Sukuna’s heavy feet only take two steps forward before stopping, “get back here, right now.”

When you don’t listen, he raises his voice, “Ichihara y/n, I’m not playing with you.”

The seriousness in his tone has you stilling. Your mind is yelling at you to keep going, so why did you stop? Again, you turn around to face him, “I don’t know, Sukuna. I don’t know why I did that.”

Sukuna’s long strides get him close to you again and there’s a heavy frown on his lips, “yes, you do. I know you do.”

He heaves a sigh, mostly for himself, and then stares into your eyes. For a brief second, there’s worry in them.

“Look, let’s just take a deep breath together, okay?” he suggests, raising a brow.

Without needing to countdown, you both inhale and exhale together. He hums expectantly, “now tell me what’s wrong.”

The reason why you were so angry? Well, you don’t want to believe it.

“Sukuna, I–” the tears fall past your eyes, cascading down your cheeks, “I’m really jealous.”

His eyes widened. They widened and then his gaze turned into something bitter, “why are you saying this to me?”

He backs away from you, “why are you telling me this? Why now?”

More tears fall as you struggle to swallow the lump in your throat, “I’m really jealous when you’re with Kaede, Sukuna.”

“Don’t say that shit to me,” he spits out, “what about Kazuya, hm? Weren’t you so sure you liked him? Why are you saying this all of a sudden?”

Your eyes turn cold as well, looking at him with hate, “I didn’t realize I liked you this much!”

Sukuna’s jaw clenches at your confession, his fists balling so tight that his knuckles turn white.

You continue with a shaky voice, “I wasn’t sure if what we had was platonic or not–” your voice breaks, “so I chose Kazuya because he was the safest option.”

He shakes his head at you, seething as he does so, “you had months to figure it out, y/n. Months.”

Your heart throbs.

“Okay, I get it! You’re mad and I feel stupid and embarrassed, so just go back to Kaede already.”

You turn around and begin to speed walk, not caring if you just ruined your entire relationship with Sukuna. He, however, has other plans, choosing to chase after you. He spins you around violently, “no, don’t try to pull this shit on me. You’re fucking manipulating me.”

“I’m not!”

You try to pry his hands off of you with your own but you’re too weak. He won’t budge no matter how much you try.

You weakly shove him away, only moving yourself with the action, “I told you why I made a scene and now you’re just upset! I’m embarrassed, and I would just like to go home.”

Sukuna’s phone makes a notification sound and he quickly pulls his phone out to look at the text. He releases you with a glare, “Kaede texted me, I’m going back.”

It takes everything in him to not hug you, to not comfort you and kiss you. He’s so angry with you. You’re hurt? Well so is he. His chest heaves heavily while he tries to calm his heart, “get home safe.”

“I don’t need to hear that from you,” you spit out, looking away from him.

Sukuna clicks his tongue, “and I didn’t need to hear that shit from you either but look what happened.”

He shoves his phone back into his pocket, “whether you choose to text me when you get home or not is on you, I don’t care.” He turns around, “see ya.”

♡ ♡ ♡

You don’t remember how you got home. All you know is that you turned your phone off after catching a cab. Gosh, you’re so stupid. All of this shit is your fault. If you weren’t so stupid, indecisive and moody then none of this would’ve happened. You were too embarrassed to show yourself in front of your parents, so you crawled through your window.

After lazily locking it, you plopped down onto the bed and curled up into a ball. All of these raw emotions make you feel ugly inside and it hurts a lot. You see flashes of the look in his eyes and yours close immediately, refusing to relive the moment.

You knew about your feelings. You knew this whole time; you just didn’t want to believe it. Now that you’ve told him, you feel much smaller in the world. Your heart feels like it’s been smashed to bits and pieces and don’t even get started on Kaede. How will you ever look her in the eyes again? No, what will you say to Kazuya? He’s not the one your heart yearns for, he’s far from it, no matter how much you try. He’s such a sweet man, but he’s not who you want.

After lying in bed for a few hours, you pushed yourself up and gathered fresh clothes. You heard your parents go to bed hours ago but you were too drained to move earlier. You strip and wait for the water to turn hot, getting in once you’re satisfied with the heat. The thing that sucks is the fact that you can’t focus on anything. All you see is the disgust and hatred in his eyes.

You feel dirty.

A soft whimper falls from your lips as you begin to scrub your body harshly, hoping to get rid of the feeling. No matter how much you scrub and scratch, you can’t get the dirty feeling off. If Kaede found out about your feelings, would she hate you too? This is exactly why you refused to believe in your feelings for Sukuna. She’s always shown her interest in him; she was never discreet. You let yourself sink and hug your knees while the water pelts you.

You’re the worst kind of friend. Who in the fucking world begs the man that their friend is interested in to take them to a party, proceeds to get drunk together and then fucking makes out, almost leading to sex? Only bad friends. The worst part is you begging him to keep quiet about it, because you knew it was wrong. How dare you continue to hang out with her and act as if nothing ever happened. But, you’re a coward. You can’t fess up. You don’t want to lose another friend. You let yourself cry for a few more minutes before sucking it up and ending your shower.

The bed feels colder than usual. You feel like the loneliest person in the world. It’s funny though, since you did this to yourself. You’ll continue to talk to Kaede until she eventually finds out, because you’re a coward like that. Yeah, that’s what you are.

♡ ♡ ♡

You wake up with a headache. It must be from all the stupid crying but you push yourself up and force yourself to get through the day. You still haven’t turned your phone on, as you’re afraid of what you’ll see. Your everyday morning routine is done with ease, even with a blank mind. When you roam into the dining area, your mom jumps up.

“I thought you weren’t home. We waited all night for you,” she says while adding breakfast to a plate that’s now meant for you.

“I came home quietly.”

You take the plate from her and place it at the table, moving to help her set up everything else. She squints her judgy eyes at you, “your eyes are red and puffy.”

“Oh, she might’ve just had fun last night.”

Your dad’s voice interferes and he pops into the room with a smile. He’s obviously trying to get her off of your back, but she continues to poke at you, “or she was crying. What happened?”

“I drank a lot.”

Your unfiltered comment has your parents at a loss for words and you laugh, “I’m being responsible so please stop treating me like I’m some child.”

The breakfast that your mom cooked might’ve been really tasty but you can’t seem to taste a single thing. It’s all bland to you, sadly. You feel their eyes on you. It’s annoying. With wavering patience, you place your utensils down and stand, “I’m done.”

Their whispered argument goes on deaf ears as you walk back into your room to get ready. You do your makeup as quickly as possible and then turn your phone on. There’s a message or two from Kaede and she’s apologizing for getting too drunk. Does she even know what happened last night? You don’t have the heart to respond, so you turn off your read notifications and leave her unanswered. Kazuya’s messages are just him apologizing for leaving early. You give him a short response but that’s all. Sukuna hasn’t messaged you at all, and that’s something you should probably get used to.

Anyways, you need to end things with Kazuya. You can’t continue to lead him on like this, and you should probably tell him the truth. It’s the least you can do for him. You asked to meet up with him after work and he agreed in an instance. Now all that’s left is the waiting game.

It’s not as easy to distract yourself when you’re panicking over what to say and how you’ll say it. He’s such a sweetheart that you might break and cry while telling him everything. He’d probably even question why you’re the one crying when it should be him… Oh god, you seriously need to pull yourself together before you make any situation worse.

For hours, you practiced what you would say to Kazuya so you wouldn’t stutter for words. You looked into a mirror and trained your facial expressions so that you’d be less tense in front of him. You even imagined the pained expression that he would hold when you broke the news to him, but you still felt horrible when doing so. Kazuya truly is a soft soul and a great friend. You’d hate to lose him, but you know he’ll be gone. You’ll be left alone for a long time too, since Kaede and Sukuna won’t stay by you after this either.

It’s already a little past 6pm and you’re on your way to meet Kazuya. He chose a small coffee shop since he wanted some caffeine. You stop in front of the door and take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the last time. Just like before, you force a smile and pull the door open, the little bell dinging above your head.

“Welcome in,” you hear the employee greet. You suck in a breath and lock eyes with Kazuya who waves you down. He looks different today, almost as if he knows something. Yes, he’s smiling, but it’s forlorn. You walk to him and sit down, nervously accepting the warm drink he offers you.

“I went ahead and ordered for you too,” he says while retracting his hand.

“Thanks.”

It’s a dry reply. Oh god, you feel terrible. Kazuya taps the table with the pads of his fingers, “listen, about last night, I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, maybe a little too fast, “it’s fine, seriously. I–”

He cuts you off, “you wanted to talk to me, I know. So, what is it?”

“Uh…”

Shit! All those hours of practicing went to fucking waste! Why can’t you speak up? Are you just stupid and useless? Is that it? He deserves to know the truth, so why can’t you stop being a coward and speak up? You called him to talk, so talk.

Kazuya’s hand slides across the table and he gently holds your index finger. Only that finger. You appreciate how he still respects your space and boundaries, even after all those months of you basically leading him on. He rubs his finger over your smooth nail polish and he shoots you a kind smile, “you have pretty hands.”

“You always say that.”

A grin stretches as you recall the many times he’s complimented them. No matter what color or length, he’d always comment on it. The memories are bittersweet as well, and you’re a bit upset at yourself for even smiling at a time like this. Kazuya’s other hand brushes through his hair, revealing his forehead as he does so.

“It’s about time you smile at me, timid girl.”

Your face turns red, mainly from embarrassment, “I’m sorry, Kazuya.”

He lets go of your finger and grabs his cup, drinking the warm beverage. When he’s done, he looks back at you, “It’s alright, y/n. I think I know what this is about.”

“You do?”

Your voice is small. You hate it. How can Kazuya keep smiling at you?

“I’ve been trying for months, y/n. I’m not clueless.”

Your head falls, “I’m sorry.”

The fact that you don’t deny him only proves his theory. Kazuya didn’t know for sure, but now his questions and doubts are confirmed. He tries not to let it show and instead keeps smiling at you, “I told you that I noticed how you changed here and there over time, but I didn’t want to bother you about it in case you were also figuring yourself out.”

Kazuya becomes quiet for a short while but then continues, “I didn’t want to believe it at first, but after I saw Sukuna’s wallpaper, everything just kind of clicked. You’re not a good liar either, y/n, but I like that about you. It makes you kind of cute.”

You laugh again, because you don’t know what to say. All you know how to say is ‘sorry’ and you’re sure that Kazuya doesn’t want to keep hearing that from you.

Everything about him is calm, from the way he looks at you, to the way he speaks. He seems completely fine on the outside, but he’s screaming at himself internally. He wants to break down and cry because he does truly like you, but what good is it if the person you’re interested in just can’t find it within themselves to like you back. His right leg bounces quickly under the table, but you don’t know that.

Kazuya suddenly leans over the table to tap your hand, mainly to get your attention, “I really liked you and I hoped that we could work out, but I understand. Thank you for trying anyway, y/n.”

There’s a small, teeny tiny weight that lifts from your chest, “is this really okay with you, Kazuya?”

“Mmm… no hard feelings, promise.”

Poor guy… he’s flashing you such a pretty smile but you can see the tears welling in his eyes. You only have yourself to blame for this. If you were honest from the beginning then he wouldn’t have gotten hurt like this. You tilt your head up at Kazuya when he pulls on your finger.

“It’s always been him, huh?”

Does he seriously want an answer to that? It would only hurt him more… You see the expectant expression though, so you nod with shame, “I didn’t want it to be him, I swear. He just snuck his way in.”

Kazuya lets your finger go and slowly slides his hand back towards himself, “but does he like you?”

He already knows the answer. Even a blind man can see just how much you two pine for each other; he just wishes you were more honest with yourselves.

You clench the cup a bit tighter, “I’m sorry.”

His expression softens quickly, “for what?”

“I’m sorry for not seeing you in a romantic way, Kazuya.”

Oh my god. That’s the worst kind of thing to say. Please, shut the fuck up.

You’re expecting him to cry, but he bursts out laughing, a hand flying over his mouth to try and hide it. When you furrow your brows at him, he dips his head and takes a minute to collect himself.

“Don’t say things like that, you’ll make me feel small both emotionally and physically. Anyhow,” he snickers one last time to mask his sadness, “I’m rooting for you. I don’t know what’ll happen to you guys, since Kaede is also in the picture, but I’ll always be cheering you on. I hope you get your happy ending, timid girl.”

It’s odd. You hate Sukuna’s ‘halfie’ but you don’t seem to mind Kazuya’s ‘timid girl’. Is that weird?

Your lip quivers, “I’m sorry that I can’t love you in the same way.”

“Stop,” he teases, “you’ll make me cry. I’m trying to seem tough here.”

Kazuya stands from the table first and waits for you to get up. Like a gentleman, he assists you out of the cafe and holds the door for you.

“I guess we should stop our frequent meetups from here on out.”

He holds his arms open and you rush in to return his hug, holding him as tightly as you can. This is supposed to make you feel better, but you only feel like shit. Well, you are kind of shit, but there’s no need to continue berating yourself.

Ugh, fucking bitch. You’re crying. Kazuya’s soft chuckle vibrates against you while his hands rub your back soothingly, “this must’ve been a tough decision for you, y/n. I know it’s not easy, you did good.”

“I–” you get a bit choked up, but keep going, “I am truly sorry towards you, for not being able to feel the same way.”

Kazuya pulls his face back to look directly in your eyes, a tiny grin on his lips, “I told you that it was all okay. I understand completely, alright? Friends?”

Another fat tear rolls down your cheek, “yeah, friends.”

He rests his face against the side of your head before giving it a quick kiss, “talk it out with Sukuna, alright? He’s a cool guy.”

“He’s an ass, but I will.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Welp! That’s one problem gone. Now you’ve got another storm of problems to get over. How will you confront Sukuna and how will you tell Kaede without causing any more problems? She’s going to be upset, that’s unavoidable. The problem is how upset she’ll be. You’re not sure how far she and Sukuna have gone, but based on how they acted in the club, they might’ve gotten pretty far with each other. Afterall, Sukuna isn’t exactly an in-your-face type of guy, so if they are together then it’s on the downlow, and if that’s the case then it’s no wonder he got so upset with you. You curse under your breath at yourself. You should’ve just asked Kaede a month ago if she and Sukuna were exclusive. You remember the way he held her hips and how they grinded against each other. A shudder runs down your spine at the fact that they might be sleeping together already.

Shit. Whether you say something or not, you’re gonna lose. It’s a lose-lose situation for you regardless of what you do, and that fucking sucks!

“I’m fucking stupid,” you mutter to yourself.

When you’re back in reality, you recognize the area. Your stupid feet have led you to the train tracks you used to hang out at. All those memories of you arguing with Sukuna over little things come flying by and you laugh to yourself while the rocks crunch beneath you. You also remember throwing salt at him all the time. Oh yeah. You haven’t done that in a long while. You keep going, choosing to walk on the actual tracks instead but as you get further, your heart seems to pulse faster. Your intuition tells you to turn and run, far away, but your feet won’t listen.

And, shit. What are the odds that you’d run into him here, today? Well, that’s exactly what the fuck just happened! Why is he here? Why is he sitting on the tracks with his back turned to you? His intoxicating scent fills your nostrils and you switch to breathing through your mouth, refusing to allow him in. His hair isn’t styled today, it’s left soft and untouched, blowing gently with the light breeze. You stand still and hold your breath, trying not to make too much sound but it’s too late.

“You’re always late, Kaede. Next time I’m ditching–”

Sukuna’s words are cut short when he turns around and finds you instead. Why the fuck are you here? Who the hell invited you? He hates that you still look beautiful.

All you can do is stare at him. He looks so different from before; it’s the way his eyes no longer hold any warmth for you. You should’ve taken advantage of those eyes back then, but who would’ve known that you two would end up like this so quickly. It’s just barely 7pm and the orange sky behind him suits him so well. It complements the pigment of his skin and blends in prettily with his artificial pink hair. If you were a bigger fool, you’d think that you were in hell with the devil himself. His aura and glare are enough to burn through your skin and you’re foolish, because you can’t seem to run away.

“You should probably get outta here, Kaede will be here soon,” he spits out, turning away so that he can no longer see you.

“Sukuna, about–”

He cuts you off, “you should also stop coming here, to all the areas we’ve hung out before. It wouldn’t be good for either of us to keep on running into each other.”

So what the fuck does that mean? Is he confirming that he and Kaede are together? Are they cutting you off? You’re really sick and tired of crying, but you can’t stop.

You’re quiet, so he goes on, “I’ll still be around when Kaede wants to hang out with you, but don’t expect too much. I’ll talk to you here and there so it doesn’t come off as weird, but I won’t get in yours or Kazuya’s way.”

You’re not ready for either of this. You were not expecting to run into Sukuna so soon and you don’t know what to say to him. You haven’t had the time to try and sort this shit out, so for it to come flying at you like this all at once has you overwhelmed. Right now, you wish a train would just come and run you over, but that’s not happening. Not anytime soon, at least.

You’re too quiet. Sukuna lazily tilts his head towards you and clicks his tongue at what he sees.

“Seriously? You’re crying now?” He snickers dryly, “you’re really fucking crying right now?”

A short sob falls from your lips, “can I not cry when my feelings are hurt?”

“No, you don’t get to cry.”

He closes the distance between you, “and don’t even think about trying to cry about this later. I won’t fall for it.”

Your mouth falls agape and you think about how none of this would’ve been a problem if he had just left you alone the second time you guys talked. You try to blink away the rest of your tears, “I never asked for this. I didn’t ask for you to stay by my side and cling to me.”

Sukuna thinks it’s funny, so he laughs in a spiteful manner. Weren’t you the one who came to bother him? Asking about his name and shit? Talking about always seeing him linger on the fucking streets?

“Oh, so now you’re ungrateful too, bitch.”

You shove him away on instinct, “would you stop that?”

His tongue comes out to poke at the corner of his mouth while he chuckles, “stop what? My sarcasm?” he steps closer again, towering over you, “why? Does it hurt you?”

“Yeah, it fucking hurts me, Sukuna,” you quietly admit, a new stream of tears slipping past your eyes.

When you think about your argument last night, your heart aches and you don’t want to feel this way anymore. You just want to get it over with. When you think about how he’s waiting for Kaede right now, your heart falls to pieces.

“Seeing you with her hurts my feelings. I’m jealous, really jealous.”

Everything cunning about Sukuna drops and he backs away from you, pushing his hair back in frustration, “you don’t get to feel that way! Not now, not ever.” His chest heaves heavily as he speaks to you, “what gives you the right to, hm? That you realized you liked me too late?”

He comes to you again but you don’t move, you don’t wince at his aggression. His red hues bore into yours, “what’re you gonna do about Kazuya, huh? Tell me.”

Just tell him. That’s all you need to do. Tell him that you ended things with Kazuya. As easy as it sounds like to do so, you can’t. You just ended things with him and even that hurt. You can still see just how much he was holding back, how hard he was trying to not cry in front of you. You remember how when you both parted ways, you turned around and saw his arms raise towards his face. He broke down when he was sure you were already walking away from him, and it made you feel like the shittiest person alive because he didn’t deserve that. And even if you could tell Sukuna, you’re more worried now than ever about the fact that he and Kaede might be dating. Everything he’s doing, all of this anger, it’s possible that he’s angry with you because you’re too late and they’re already together.

Sukuna’s irises flick back and forth all over your face as he waits for you to speak up. Why aren’t you saying anything? Why can’t you ever say anything?

“Stop fucking crying, y/n,” he says in a softer tone, more so to help himself calm down.

“This is stupid,” you say weakly, “I’m being stupid.”

You quickly wipe your eyes and turn around to leave. That’s better anyway because Kaede could show up at any moment.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he chases after you with long strides, “we aren’t done talking about this.”

“Well, I am.”

“Well I’m not, so get your ass back here before I lift you over my shoulder and drag you away myself.”

You still haven’t turned around, “that’s kidnapping.”

He stands right behind you, “I don’t give a shit, y/n. I’ll do it, you know I will.”

He’s not bluffing. You hate that you know. You take a deep breath and turn back to face him.

“That’s what I thought.”

“You’re a fucking dick.”

“Says the one causing problems.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“You’re a fucking dick.”

@lucyrocks86 @mykyoon @hxlalokidottir @wo-ming-bai @yourusernames @adoraspace

#sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna angst #sukuna fluff #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna angst #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna fluff #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk fanfic #sukuna #sukuna fanfic #ryomen sukuna #friends to lovers #strangers to lovers #alternate universe #slow burn

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tempting-andromeda · 1 year

Text

Just give me moment part 3

Sebastian x reader

Characters are aged up but sfw

Note: once again not proofread. Also please send asks!!! I love them :)

Description: After not talking to Sebastian for over a year, you decide to change that and realize how different you both are now.

Sebastian felt his face flush as he watched you strut toward him. He didn’t expect you to choose him, but you had grown fond of his company again. He had no clue what to say to you, but knew he had to. His mind felt as if it was moving too fast, but you broke the silence.

“The scenic route seems nice for today.” You said, nudging him slightly. He tipped an imaginary hat at you and smiled.

“Just think of me as a tour guide today.”

Parts of him that you thought were lost seemed to be coming out. Though it scared you at the thought that he hasn’t changed, there was a fondness in the idea. You didn’t lose him. Some parts of him lingered even after all this time and you desperately hoped every part of him that hurt you was gone. He hoped so, too.

As you both started walking, there was a tension that wouldn’t seem to break. It was as if both of you wanted to burst and spit something out but couldn’t. Every so often Sebastian would happen his mouth to say something but would shut it before anything came out. And you couldn’t seem to find anything to talk about. Your mind kept going back to how you could regret this. Some part of you felt like he could read your thoughts. He acted like it. His hands were fidgeting with his sleeves to distract himself from the lingering tension until he spoke.

“Why are we pretending like it didn’t happen?” He sounded genuinely curious. You had no idea how to respond to him. Would you tell him how you’ve been secretly caring for him for months, or would you tell him about how you’ve just missed him? You could tell him how you’ve had dreams where everything was okay the fifth year and everything was normal but you hadn’t even confided in Ominis about those. It was something you thought was shameful when it didn’t entirely so. Something in your gut told you you needed him and Professor Onai told you to trust your intuition more.

“Would you believe me if I told you I hadn’t a clue?” You couldn’t convince yourself you had an answer, so you didn’t give him one. You just knew you missed him. He felt the same, though he would’ve never talked to you. He would’ve stared from across the room like he had been doing and dreamt of all the what-ifs. It was a dangerous thing to get lost in. The what-ifs. You tried to keep your mind away from them, but now and then you allowed yourself to indulge in them.

As you were lost in your thoughts, Sebastian abruptly stopped and held his hand out.

“Your class. I’ll see you around.” He mumbled as he walked away. The impulsive part of your mind wanted to tell him to skip class with you like old times’ sake, but didn’t have the guts for it. It already felt like you were moving too fast. As you looked into the classroom, you saw Garreth talking wildly to Ominis. His hands waved around, and he almost hit Ominis once or twice in your few seconds of seeing him.

Once Garreth saw you, he sat up and pushed himself away from Ominis.

“Seems like you two were having a lively conversation.” You placed your bag in between them and leaned into Ominis.

“What were you talking about?” You asked. Garreth flushed and looked at his books.

“Sebastian. We were talking about Sebastian.” Ominis sighed. He sounded exhausted even though you had seen him nearly an hour earlier just fine. You knew he didn’t entirely approve of you reconnecting with Sebastian, but you couldn’t help it. Something had been eating you alive, being away from him. You knew Ominis didn’t want to reconnect with Sebastian because everything he did hit closer to home, but it confused you with how he never seemed to falter with staying away from him. From the very beginning, Ominis treated him as if they hadn’t been friends for five years and paid him no mind. You had only known Sebastian for a few months and he felt like your partner in crime.

“It wasn’t bad. He’s changed.” You said. Sebastian did seem like he changed. Though you haven’t spent that much time with him, there’s a different aura around him that feels better than it’s ever felt. He felt safe. At least that’s what you think.

“You better hope he has.” Ominis’ voice faltered as he finished the sentence and a dejected expression waved onto his face, but just as soon as it appeared, it went away.

The class soon started and Professor Binns hadn’t said anything interesting all week, so you knew you were safely able to drift into thought without missing something. Even if you did miss something, you could ask someone else, so you had no worry.

You truly missed the trio you, Ominis, and Sebastian had formed during your fifth year. At first, it felt like you shoehorned yourself into their duo, but they confirmed that wasn’t true. They cared for you as if they had known you your whole life. Which is why Sebastian’s actions hurt you both so much. Knowing someone had to wish to harm while casting the curse was something that made your stomach sink in random conversations. You could be talking about something and that memory made you feel as if you had contracted an illness. You often had nightmares from that year. Rookwood often stuck himself into your dreams when you had thought you recovered and suddenly you were at the first step all over again. You tried to forget all the horrors from then, but they always appeared when they were almost out of thought.

You finally decided to focus back on the class and saw everyone staring. You wondered if you had mumbled, but Professor Binns had repeated his question.

“Miss (L/n). Who was the first wizard to be sent to Azkaban?”

You gulped as you thought about the question. You hadn’t a clue. You looked over at your friends to see if they would assist you, but you received no luck.

“Sorry, Professor. I got lost in my thoughts again.” Teachers knew what had happened in the fifth year. They took pity on you for going through so many traumatic events and losing Professor Fig. If you nodded off in a lesson or stared off, they would often just ask if you were okay and needed to leave.

Professor Binns gave you a look of pity that felt indistinguishable at first from his sagging features, but it was a look you knew too well after a while. Ominis gave you a look that wordlessly asked if you were okay. You leaned towards him and mumbled quickly that you were okay and just lost in simple thoughts. He had no reason not to believe you it happened now and then.

Once class was over, Ominis moved over to you quickly.

“If you’re having those thoughts again, maybe you need another break. Tell the Headmaster.” His hand hovered over your lower back slightly, but his fingers never touched you. You sighed. Ominis acted as if he was a mother from the way he acted with you. Once you were thankful for the way he acted, but currently it was suffocating. Any sign that showed an emotion that wasn’t happy or calm he seemed to believe you were unwell. You had no more classes and hoped to study for your potions assignment without him nursing the sorrow he believes you to have.

“I’m fine. I’m thinking about the potion I must brew.” You reassured him with a pat on his shoulder.

“Your potion with Sebastian, right?” He asked. Of course, Garreth told him. The boy couldn’t seem to keep anything away from Ominis for some reason. If Ominis asked him a question, Garreth seemed to answer instantly. No hesitation.

“Yes.” You replied shortly as you packed up. You didn’t wish to hear his scolding of how dangerous Sebastian still was.

“You know what I will say, so I won’t say it, but be careful and if you’re going to study at least eat once before you head to bed. You stress me out with your schedules.” He waved goodbye at you as he walked away. You nodded and shouted a thank you and goodbye at him before heading to the library by yourself.

The library didn’t have any special connection as it once did for you, but you didn’t mind. Nobody bothered you there. You’d find a small corner and read. It wasn’t a routine you stuck to frequently, but it wasn’t rare. You started grabbing as many potion books as you could find as soon as you reached the wooden shelves. You had all week to reteach yourself the potion and brew it before Garreth, who had a first year portion. After an hour of flipping through pages looking for anything related to Amortentia and failing, you heard someone shuffling towards you. You looked up from the last book in your pile and saw Sebastian walking up to you with his own stack of books.

“Oh! You’ve come?” you asked softly. Sebastian froze in his place. He thought you had invited him to study with you.

“Oh, sorry should I go?” he asked

“No! No. You’re fine. It’s just whenever I say, I’m studying people take that as a sign to leave me alone, but no. you can stay I’d like the company.”

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #sebastian x reader #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy garreth #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy sebastian #sebastian sallow headcanon

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untofinality · 1 year

Text

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓　 𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋　 𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂　𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 　 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎

various lyrics pulled from konami’s 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 series. some lyrics have been altered for better sentence structure. there will be uncomfortable themes, such as blaspheme and themes of a zealous religious figure, obsession, and so forth. feel free to alter pronouns and referenced persons, ex. father changed to mother or some other person.

ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴛ ʜɪʟʟ : ʜᴏᴍᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ❝ Enough with the lies, tell me one more time. ❞ ❝ As you saw it, your plan, it was a real shot in the dark. ❞ ❝ You came a little too late, it’s over. ❞ ❝ You’re here. ❞ ❝ It’s not fair, I’m lost. ❞ ❝ Your God, and your fear, was it worth the price? ❞ ❝ Pray for the children you lost along the way. ❞ ❝ I still remember the names and faces. ❞ ❝ Cold and abandoned, they cry, their fate put in your hands. ❞ ❝ When it’s over, they’ll come to haunt you. ❞ ❝ It’s just one more soul to the call. ❞ ❝ Where have you been? ❞ ❝ You are a different man. ❞ ❝ You disappeared, and just like that, you’re here. ❞ ❝ So did your time away from here renew your soul to make you strong? ❞ ❝ I thought you knew. ❞ ❝ It feels good just holding you. ❞ ❝ She’s gone, I fear. ❞ ❝ I think there’s something wrong. ❞ ❝ Have you seen her? She’s been away too long. ❞ ❝ So look around this dismal place, some things have changed, or can’t you tell? ❞ ❝ I’m glad you’re here, I see you’re well. And welcome home, embrace your hell. ❞ ❝ In my mind, faces keep returning. I still see her smile. ❞ ❝ I heard a sound, a familiar voice! ❞ ❝ Why do you have no choice? ❞ ❝ I need to know. ❞ ❝ No, you’ll never know. ❞ ❝ But all the roads lead me back to my home. ❞ ❝ Is she gone? ❞ ❝ Are you real? Are you here? ❞ ❝ Can I trust who you say that you are? ❞ ❝ And who I am now? ❞ ❝ Is it me this time? ❞ ❝ Am I too far? Did I cross that line? It’s getting hard to tell. ❞ ❝ Different day and another war. The order shifts, and it tumbles down. ❞ ❝ I forgive all. ❞ ❝ This line can’t be broken. This line that never can be crossed again. ❞ ❝ In time, we’ll be forgiven. ❞ ❝ It’s the opposite of what you hear. ❞ ❝ Dying will be the least of your fears. ❞ ❝ You can’t give up. ❞ ❝ We have come too far to ever turn away. ❞ ❝ We have to swallow our fears. ❞ ❝ You can’t let go. ❞ ❝ Be prepared for anything. ❞ ❝ There’s something wrong, and the worst is yet to come. ❞ ❝ It started long before me, I never saw it coming. ❞ ❝ And in my darkest nightmare, there are things that I can’t remember. ❞ ❝ The answer is drowning. ❞ ❝ This pain will last forever. ❞ ❝ Protect me, correct me, you’ve got your orders, soldier. ❞ ❝ Sometimes I hear them coming. ❞ ❝ The power, believing, the hate I hate believing. ❞ ❝ It can’t be, who are you? I know you. ❞ ❝ You wouldn’t, or would you? ❞ ❝ Your darkness, I know it. ❞ ❝ Come forward. ❞ ❝ I’ve seen it. I mean it. ❞ ❝ Your power is over, I’ve come to change the order. ❞ ❝ My training is perfect. ❞ ❝ Your promise is broken. ❞ ❝ I’ve drank your sacred water. ❞ ❝ My mission is holy. ❞ ❝ I never saw it coming. ❞ ❝ You have your orders, soldier. ❞

ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴛ ʜɪʟʟ : ꜱʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇꜱ ❝ Maybe I didn’t love you quite as often as I could have. And maybe I didn’t treat you quite as good as I should have. ❞ ❝ If I made you feel second best, I’m so sorry I was blind. ❞ ❝ You were always on my mind. ❞ ❝ Maybe I didn’t hold you all those lonely, lonely times. ❞ ❝ I guess I never told you I’m so happy that you’re mine. ❞ ❝ Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time. ❞ ❝ Tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died. ❞ ❝ Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. ❞ ❝ I just never took the time. ❞ ❝ Did I wait too long? ❞ ❝ Did I wait too long? The moment’s gone and now wasted. ❞ ❝ Coming back home? It feels wrong, the changes haunt me. ❞ ❝ It feels wrong. ❞ ❝ I feel lost - that’s how I feel! ❞ ❝ I know there’s something I’ve forgotten like a time, a place, a shattered memory. ❞ ❝ For me, it’s more than I can seem to handle. ❞ ❝ The truth? You lied. ❞ ❝ You said it can convince you to give up. ❞ ❝ This place will never set me free. ❞ ❝ Enough, I know I really did it this time. ❞ ❝ It’s a sign, this place is somewhere I should be. ❞ ❝ You’re taking a piece of my heart when you’re gone. ❞ ❝ What I lost to find and what I find brings me here. ❞ ❝ I know, I know there’s something I’ve forgotten. ❞ ❝ Taking a piece of my heart, that’s how it always starts. ❞ ❝ Time flows, nobody knows, the years just go by. ❞ ❝ Where do we go, alone, from here? ❞ ❝ What is wrong with me? ❞ ❝ Deep in the night you think everything’s right. Tell it to yourself. Say it’s just a nightmare. ❞ ❝ Something is telling you nothing can change where you are, again. ❞ ❝ Why should it matter, your dreams of a child? ❞ ❝ Innocence is gone, there’s only fear to play with. ❞ ❝ Faces are changing, but nothing is changing the pain. ❞ ❝ It’s too late. ❞ ❝ Two steps I take getting closer and closer, and that one more breath I take sends me further back. ❞ ❝ Over and over, it calls to your soul. ❞ ❝ Say it isn’t so. ❞ ❝ No one can help if the angels refuse to come near. ❞ ❝ Who’s there? ❞ ❝ Those cold faded photos, they lay by your side. ❞ ❝ There’s something in my room, never mind the reason. ❞ ❝ Visions are lying and reasons just live to survive. ❞ ❝ The cold. The light. The fear is returning. And it’s not the eyes you feel that’s chilling you. ❞ ❝ In your mind’s eye lives a memory that’s hard to find, blinded by sorrow. ❞ ❝ And her cold voice sings a melody; hear her sing, hell frozen rain falls down. ❞ ❝ She can’t hear your voice. She can’t hear you call. ❞ ❝ You have burned your choice. ❞ ❝ If you’re here, can you prove you’re really here? ❞ ❝ There is a moment in time when all the cards that you’ve played divide. ❞ ❝ Everything is wrong. ❞ ❝ This is not my home, is it? ❞ ❝ Do I know your face? ❞ ❝ What does my mind wish to forget? ❞ ❝ A toast to lonely souls who never could take control of a life, and all the missing we love, I hope the darkness they fight will give them light. ❞ ❝ Are her safe arms feeling dangerous? ❞ ❝ You’re missing the truth frozen in lies. ❞ ❝ Is your family just a memory? ❞ ❝ Of all these pieces of broken dreams, there’s one that scares and confuses me. ❞ ❝ If all these things that you say are true, you should be someone I always knew. ❞ ❝ Are your loved ones just a memory burned in pain? ❞ ❝ Life is cold here. ❞

#rp meme #rp prompts #rp sentence starters #lyric starters #sentence starter meme #. lyrics.#. lyrics // silent hill

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memesandtvshowthings · 3 months

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The interviewer- a Dramione fanfic

chapter three!

December 3, 2005

Draco’s house

Draco awoke and looked outside his window. It had snowed… a lot.

He made his way downstairs for breakfast and found that Blaise was there.

“What the heck are you doing here?” He asked.

“Well, it’s ten o’clock so, I was expecting you to be up.”

“It’s Saturday.”

“Whatever. I wanted to talk to you about the gala.”

“Gala?”

“The one you plan every year for Christmas?”

“Oh! Right, the gala!”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Just normal planning stuff like decorations, invitations, guests, food, location, that kind of stuff.”

“Ok. Let me get some breakfast and then we can talk about it.”

Hermione’s house

Hermione was sat down in her living room with Ginny having a ‘girl talk’.

“Hermione, he kissed me!”

“Honey, you’ve said that several times. Plus, he’s kissed you before.”

“I know but he hasn’t in forever since he’s been off at auror training.”

“And you didn’t think he would?”

“Well… I was worried he might have, you know, moved on.”

“WHAT? C’mon Gin, you know he’s head over heels for you.”

“Yeah, I guess…. But that’s enough about me, what about you? Any guys caught your attention yet?”

“No. But I can’t stop thinking about… oh, never mind.”

“No, tell me. Who is it?”

“Well, don’t tell Harry.”

“Ok.”

“It’s… Draco Malfoy.” She whispered the last part.

“What? Really? No way!”

“Yeah. I feel so dumb.”

“Don’t. He’s hot.”

“Ginny! You’ve got a boyfriend!”

“I know. Harry’s Burning. Not hot.”

“Oh, right.”

“Now. When did it start?”

“That day I had the interview.”

“Ooh! Did he say anything, I don’t know, cute?”

“He told me I looked hot in green.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, well, you’ve got to figure out a way to see him again!”

“No! That would be terrible!”

“Why?”

“I don’t want him to KNOW I like him.”

“He doesn’t have to.”

“But he will. Did Harry tell you about Ligilimency* and Occlumency*?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Well, Draco can do both. And he’s good.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, he used Ligilimency and found out I was nervous.”

“Ohh. That must’ve been embarrassing.”

“It was.”

“What about Occlumency? How do you know he used that?”

“Well, when I was trying to use Ligilimency to make sure he was telling the truth about his answers, he had his mind completely blocked off.”

“Wow. He must be really good.”

“He is.”

*Ligilimency is the act of magically navigating through the many layers of a person's mind and correctly interpreting one's findings.

*Occlumency is the act of magically closing the mind against intrusion by Legilimency.

Draco’s house

“Ok. So far, we have decorations (Gold, red, and green winter wonderland), food (Normal party food), location (a new, fancy, party venue), and when (December 23, a Friday, so it leads into Saturday, Christmas Eve!).”

Blaise said proudly.

“You sure we can’t just have it Saturday?” Draco complained.

“Yes. People will want to spend time with their families and loved ones.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“Oh come on mate. I’m sure you do too.”

“My family isn’t really… accessible.”

“Why? Yeah your father’s dead, but what about your mother?”

“I haven’t talked to her since father’s funeral and I doubt she wants to.”

“Ok then, what about loved ones?”

Draco just glared at him.

“Hey, maybe find you a girlfriend! Maybe then you won’t be so… miserable.”

“I’m not interested in some gold digger…. And I’m not miserable.”

“I never said a gold digger.”

“That’s all any girl that would dream of dating me is.”

“I don’t think so. What about… your receptionist? Mabel is it?”

“Oh, definitely not!”

“I thought she was cute.”

“Then you try to go after her. She’s not my type.”

“Ok. I think I will.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think she’s going to like you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Sure. Ten galleons.”

“Ok. I’ll do the same.”

“Fine, but you better have it ready. You have till the party.”

“Ok.”

They shook and talked for a little while longer until Blaise had to go.

Hermione’s house

Ginny couldn’t get over that fact that Hermione liked Draco Malfoy. Every time she tried to change the subject, there was a way Draco fit perfectly into it.

“Ginny! Can we PLEASE talk about something else?”

“What else is there?”

“Uhhh. Are you having a Christmas party?”

“Oh! Yeah, me and Harry have been planing it all week!”

“What’s your theme?”

“You’ll have to wait until you get your invitation! Oh, but here’s a secret, it’s not Christmas week!”

“Really? Oh thank goodness! There’s always so many. I always have to skip some!”

“Yeah, that’s why Harry and I did that!”

“Clever.”

“Are you having any parties?”

“No. I’ll just attend them.”

“Ok!”

“You hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want? I can get Chinese.”

“Ooh! Ok.”

“Great. I’ll go order it and I’ll be right back.”

“K.”

While Ginny waited, she got up and went through the bookshelf.

“What’re you doing?” Hermione asked when she came back.”

“Oh, just seeing what you’ve got.”

“Mm, that shelve is all Hogwarts stuff.”

“I noticed, I love looking through the yearbooks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It helps me remember to write to my friends.”

“Oh, well, I just keep them around in case I ever need it.”

“Ooh look! You had the highest grades in so many things!”

Hermione giggled.

“Well, they don’t call me brightest witch of her age for nothing!”

“I guess not.”

“Anyway, the food will be here soon so-“

“Wait…guess who else had the highest grades?”

“Who?”

“Malfoy! See? Y’all are perfect for each other!”

“Ginny!”

“Sorry! I couldn’t help it!”

“That’s ok. Let’s go wash up for lunch.”

Draco’s house

“Ok. Who do you want to invite?”

“Hmm. All of the Slytherins, my employees, Granger, and a few others.”

“Granger?”

“Yeah. She signed the papers to ‘Ministry approve’ it.”

“So?”

“That’s a big deal.”

“She’ll hate it! You’re inviting mostly Slytherins.”

“And I should care…why?”

“You could at least invite one of her friends.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Cause, I used to fancy her.”

“Notice the words, used to.”

“I still care. How about the weaslet?”

“You fancied her too.”

“And?”

“Whatever. I’ll need a reason though.”

“Uh, I don’t know.”

“Where does she work?”

“I think she’s a Daily Prophet writer.”

“Ok then, I have a plan.”

“Uh oh.”

Hermione’s house

“Well, I’ve got to go.”

“Alright.”

“Thanks for lunch, bye!”

“Bye!”

Ginny left and Hermione got up and cleaned the house.

Knock knock knock

Hermione went to answer the door and found…Ron.

“Hey!”

“You complete arse Ronald Weasley! You show up here after weeks, and all you say is hey?”

“I’m sorry!”

“You think It’ll be alright if you sorry me?”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“Oh, I don’t know! Rack your brains, Ron, that should only take a couple of seconds.”

“Fine then, I’ll just go.”

“Oh no you won’t! You’re going to tell me why you’re here!”

“I just wanted to ask if we could be friends! Clearly you want nothing to do with me though!”

“No. No I don’t. But we can still be…distant, VERY distant, friends.”

“Really?”

“I guess.”

Ron held his arms open for a hug.

“No way.”

“Oh, ok. Can I come inside?”

“Eh, no. You can leave. I have stuff to do.”

“Oh. Well, bye then!”

“Mmm hmm.”

She shut the door on him and sighed. She hated him.

That was chapter three! Stay tuned to my page for more!

#dramione ship #dramione fanfic #dramione #hermione granger #draco malfoy

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lemonlover1110 · 6 months

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟑𝟖𝟏

Toji Fushiguro

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[Chapter 16] First Date

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji arranges a babysitter– Someone he has to pay to watch Megumi. He can’t rely on you to babysit because after all, he’s going on a date with you. He dresses his best, getting approval from his son to wear a crimson button down shirt and black slacks. He almost wears a tie, but it’s definitely too much considering your date isn’t anything fancy.

Megumi also begins to get ready, and it makes Toji ask, “What are you doing, stinky?”

“Getting ready to go out.” He answers, which makes Toji chuckle. Megumi hasn’t picked up the memo that he’s not joining. Toji clears his throat as he thinks of a way to let Megumi down gently; Megumi has helped out a lot today, in the little boy’s mind he thinks he deserves to join you. And as much as Toji loves his son, he couldn’t disagree more.

“You’ll be staying here, buddy.” Toji ends up saying, not finding another way to let his son down. Megumi furrows his brows, sticking out his bottom lip. Megumi looks at his father disappointedly. Toji says something that will hopefully convince Megumi that staying home isn’t so bad. “You’ll get to eat whatever you want and stay up late.”

“I wanna go.” Megumi still responds, making Toji sigh. He knows the water works are coming in, even though Megumi swore he’d be less of a crybaby at four years of age. Toji tries to think of something to say… Then, it sparks on him.

“You told me you wanted the neighbor to be your mommy… If this goes well, she might become your mommy.” Toji says, and he feels guilty saying that, but that’s the only way he can stop Megumi from crying. And it works. Megumi feels less sad, and more intrigued now. Toji sighs again before he tells his son, “In order for it to go well, you have to stay here and behave. Can you do that, stinky?”

“Yeah…” Megumi nods in response.

The babysitter gets there right as scheduled, and Toji says goodbye to his son before he grabs the bouquet of flowers he bought, and steps out of the apartment. He only has to take a couple of steps before he’s in front of apartment 382. Toji takes a deep breath, as a sudden wave of nerves takes over him… Why is he suddenly so nervous? He has no reason to be, he’s known you for eight months and you’ve had sex twice. This shouldn’t be anything nerve wracking, but his palms are getting sweaty.

He finally knocks, and it feels like an eternity for you to answer the door. Toji begins to overthink, and while he isn’t exactly the person that begins to overthink, he suddenly wonders if maybe– God, you have such a strong effect on him. You finally open the door, and you immediately feel underdressed.

“Should I go change real quick?” You ask him, and he shakes his head in response. He hands you the bouquet of flowers, and the brightest smile comes to your lips. You kiss his cheek and put the flowers on the counter of the kitchen. “Thank you, they’re lovely.”

“Not as lovely as you.” He tells you, and you feel your face warm up. Is this the same man that lives next door? He sounds too sweet. You grab your purse before exiting the apartment, and you two make your way to his car. He opens the door for you, and you get in.

You wonder where he’s taking you and what you’re doing tonight. Toji is so well dressed that you wonder if you made the right decision picking the outfit that you’re currently wearing. But he didn’t tell you to change so maybe you’ll be fine– Hopefully you’re fine. He gets in the driver’s seat and you ask, “So where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to my favorite restaurant… And then…” He didn’t think all of it through. He tried to think of a fun date idea, but nothing popped up. He just thought about taking you out to eat some of his favorite food. Maybe you’ll be more creative on your second date; if you have a second date.

You chuckle. “That sounds great.”

“I know it’s nothing too exciting but–” He feels the need to justify himself.

“I love it. That’s what I was expecting.” You cut him off. He turns on the car and begins to drive. It’s a somewhat long drive, which is why he saved going there for this very special occasion.

“Am I too predictable?” He doesn’t know why but suddenly he’s self-conscious about what someone else thinks. He fucking hates the feeling, but he loves the fact that it’s because of you.

“No. It’s just cold out, there’s not much we can do… Unless you want to try to ice skate but I’m not in the mood of falling on my butt tonight.” You laugh and it’s intoxicating, causing him to let out a chuckle as well. Your eyes fall on him as he focuses on the road. “We can save the fun stuff for later dates– Especially over the summer. Maybe we can bring Megumi as well.”

“Nope.” It doesn’t take a single second for him to shut down the idea. And now he bites his tongue because he seems like a bad father. He doesn’t want to seem like one– He loves the fact that you’re trying to include Megumi in your little adventures, and he loves that you clearly adore Megumi. But he doesn’t want Megumi to be included in your dates. “I love him, don’t get me wrong. He’s my son. But dates are for the two of us, we don’t have to bring him with us. He’ll just take all the attention for himself.”

“Got it.” You end up laughing. You look out the window to try and figure out where you’re going, you wonder if it’s somewhere nearby. What food does Toji like… You’ve eaten with him more than a handful of times, but he eats whatever he has in front of him happily. You’ve never heard a single complaint from him.

“So…” He clears his throat, and your eyes fall on him. You watch his grip on the steering wheel tighten and you wonder what goes through his head. “About my second job…”

“It’s fine… You didn’t have to tell me, although I would’ve appreciated it.” You share. “You have to do what you have to do for your son.”

“I should’ve told you, we had something going on and I hid that from you. I know that could’ve changed your mind about our relationship.” He replies. He takes a deep breath before he mutters a phrase he never leaves his lips, “And I’m… Sorry.”

“It’s okay now…” You sheepishly smile even though he can’t see it. “How are you holding up with it now? Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be quitting soon. I found this cute little house that’s perfect for Megumi and I, and I’ve saved up a lot.” He tells you, and you feel excited. Excited for him and the fact that he’ll be quitting his second job soon. Also excited that you get to have him all to yourself in most senses. But slightly saddened that he’ll stop being your neighbor soon. You have no idea how long soon is though, so you won’t dwell on it. “It’s thirty minutes away though.”

“Oh…” You sound disappointed, and he’s disappointed too so he can’t blame you. But he’ll find a way to work things out, you do have a bit of time. One hand goes to your thigh, and he squeezes it. You try to joke around, “Don’t think you’re getting rid of me that easily.”

“Oh, I know I’m not. Hopefully not.”

You breathe in relief when you realize that you’re dressed appropriately for the restaurant Toji takes you to. It makes you smile more when you realize that he dressed up just to impress you. You order what he recommends, and you chat while you wait for the food.

“How did Megumi take staying home?” You ask him, because maybe you overheard a bit of their conversation. The walls are thin, especially when your ear is glued to it and your apartment is extremely quiet. So maybe you were trying to eavesdrop.

“I had to argue with him a bit, but he’s fine. He’s probably having fun with the babysitter.” Toji answers. He then jokes, “You better hope he doesn’t replace you as his favorite babysitter.”

“You really think I’m that easily replaceable? I see how it is, Toji.” You act offended, and Toji apologizes since he doesn’t pick up that you’re joking around with him. It makes you burst out laughing, “I’m only joking, Toji. Megumi won’t replace me that easily, we both know that.”

“Yeah… He adores you. Sometimes I think he likes you more than me because he doesn’t shut up about you.” Toji confesses, and you love hearing that. You love spending time with Megumi, and you’re glad to know he loves spending time with you too.

“He also doesn’t shut up about you.” You tell him, and a weak smile comes to his lips, which he hides fast. It’s nice to know that his son likes him even though it doesn’t seem like it. At least not in his eyes. “He really makes me want to have a child.”

“Um…” Toji gaze goes elsewhere in shame. He bites on the inside of his bottom lip, wondering if this is conversation for a first date. He scratches the back of his neck and then decides to speak up, “I don’t want to have more kids.”

“Oh…” You’re a bit taken back by it, but you can understand. Toji is a single father and has been one for two years, you assume he’s struggled a lot. He doesn’t want to repeat that process again because while you don’t plan on dying, the universe might have different plans for you. You awkwardly laugh, “I don’t even think I can have kids so we’ll be okay on that aspect.”

“This isn’t first date material, is it?” He asks, and you laugh before shaking your head. You’ve known each other for some time though, so this isn’t as awkward as it should be. Toji takes a deep breath before speaking up, “But my answer isn’t a deal breaker. I can change my mind in the future.”

“I’m not counting on you changing your mind.” You respond. It’s fine either way, if you get with Toji you’ll have Megumi, and he’s the only kid you need. Would you love to have a baby? Yes. But do you really need to have a baby in order to be happy? No. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else.”

“I really hope you like the food here. I love it.” He says. “I can’t come here with Megumi because the little shit doesn’t like it.”

“I do trust Megumi’s judgment so…” You begin, and he quickly picks up that you’re joking because Megumi is such a picky eater. He hopes that the kid will grow out of it, but it’s so hard for Toji to get Megumi something to eat. Something healthy.

“You better like it, I have to come here with someone.” He tells you. You reach over the table, grabbing his hands into yours. He smiles at you and you tell him,

“I’ll gladly come here with you, even if the food sucks.” And he could just lean over and kiss you, but your food gets to the table. He’s never been so fucking mad about the fact that there’s food in front of him. Toji likes you so much that he thinks he prefers you over food. He swears your eyes shine when you look at the food, and you lick your lips. “It looks good so far. But I trust my picky baby’s judgment.”

“You’re so right. He’s the food critic we’re missing.” Toji responds, and he watches you take the first bite of your food, and a smile comes to your face. It’s fair to say that he’ll bring you here again in the future. He might drag Megumi to join as well. “Do you like it?”

You hum in response, stuffing your face. He honestly likes the sight in front of him better than eating. He does begin to eat until a question pops in his mind, and he can’t help but ask, “Who sent you the pictures of me and Momoko?”

“I wish I knew, it was an unknown number.” You answer when you swallow, and you don’t say much more until you stuff your mouth full again. Until you get an idea of who it is, and although it seems absurd, you say his name, “Probably Gojo.”

“Who?” Toji asks, wondering who you’re talking about. He tries to recall who it is, but it’s someone that holds little importance to the man. You give him a vague description, and he immediately remembers. “What’s up with him? Don’t you hate him or something like that?”

“He was overall a bad friend to my husband… A little after my husband was diagnosed, he lost his job. He went to Gojo who was his friend for help but Gojo shut him down quickly. Gojo runs a couple of family businesses so he has money but he refused to lend my husband money– Even though I was willing to pay it back, and he also refused to give Kento a job.” You bite down on your lip before proceeding to take a sip of your beverage. It’s hard to talk about, it’s the first time you actually tell someone about it. “He didn’t have to lend money but it would’ve helped Kento get better treatment, and perhaps the fate of things would’ve turned out differently.”

“Woah… I can beat him up for you next time I see him.” You laugh. That’s a nice response.

“Weirdly enough, he asked me out not too long ago.” The piece of information makes Toji’s blood boil. Gojo is not only a bad friend but simply a terrible human being. You watch Toji clench his jaw, and you’re quick to say, “This food is so good, Toji. You have to bring me here again.”

“I will.” He softens up again at the sound of your sweet voice. “As many times as you’d like.”

“I really like your bracelet.” Toji points out as he holds your hand, walking back to his car. Your eyes glance at the charm bracelet he gave you, and you smile sweetly at him.

“Thank you for giving it to me, Toji.” You respond. You approach his car, and you feel saddened that the night comes to an end. You’ve enjoyed your night with him, and you wish it would last longer. But he has to get back home to his son, and the night must end eventually. The faster it ends, the faster the next date comes.

He opens the door for you, and you stop him before he can walk any further. You smile at him and you bring your lips up to his, gently pecking him. He’s caught off guard, he doesn’t know why; he was expecting to kiss you tonight.

He freezes for a second before he kisses your lips again, and when he pulls away he kisses your cheek. He cups your face, looking into your eyes. He feels butterflies in his stomach, and it feels so fucking ridiculous for him to think.

“Thank you for joining me tonight.” He says. It feels like he’s swept you up from your feet in an instance. Your feelings for Toji were fading, and now they’re back and stronger than before. He’s not making your case easier.

“Thank you for inviting me, Toji. I had a lovely night.”

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