#I don’t know what it is I just live for animosity between some characters when it comes to this game

[isitisitearlymichael]

I think there’s a mentality in the Stranger Things fandom, or certainly outside of Byler spaces, that Byler is just another m/m ship.

What do I mean by “just another” m/m ship?

We all know there’s a long history of shipping male characters together when the show they were in clearly had no intentional romantic subplot.

M/m shipping has existed since the days of Star Trek - and it’s existed for many different reasons. But over time, it’s developed a bad reputation because fans of those ships were reading into things way too much and had so much hope that something might happen to those characters, only for them to end up incredibly upset and frustrated by the end.

There has also been a lot of accusations of fetishisation.

Some of this is also because especially in the early 2000s/ 2010s, these shows used to play on those hopes and have a lot of fun exploring “bromances”, where the writing would be intentionally stirring the pot, but not crossing the line enough for there to be any real plan to take things further.

What’s really important here is that Byler are NOT that kind of ship.

There would never be this much animosity if Will was Mike’s female best friend from childhood.

Yes, there would be a Byler vs. Milkvan war. That would never change - but the excuses as to why Byler have no possible chance of being together would be entirely different. Because yes, their arguments can currently include that Mike’s in a long term relationship, or that the 1980s environment would make it difficult for them to be together, but that’s about as realistic as the arguments have been.

Compare the circumstances to other canonical unrequited love stories

Take away all of the analysis about why Mike might be gay or Bi or even interested in Will in the first place, and just look at the plot in its bare bones state.

Will is canonically in love with Will, and Mike is canonically unaware of this and in a relationship with El.

There are SO MANY examples of this sort of love triangle in fiction, and most importantly there are more scenarios than there aren’t of this love becoming requited. It’s so normal for an audience to see a scenario like this and wonder if this is going to be one of those stories.

What’s happening instead is a lot of heteronormativity.

And that’s either down to the environment that Stranger Things fans find themselves in (people still live very unexposed lives) or they are just generally ignorant about anything that isn’t really in their face or what they want to see.

So there’s a heck of a lot of fans who didn’t even recognise that Will is gay, or just disregarded their assumptions and played up the “slow to grow up” narrative because they were more comfortable with that kind of story, or could relate to it more.

And so from their point of view, because they didn’t see anything, it couldn’t possibly exist. Bylers were seeing things and making them up. Now, after the Duffers and Noah confirmed things, they’re finding a lot of comfort in instead taking some of this fandoms bigger reaches (don’t mean to offend here, sorry) and using them as ammunition instead, e.g. Finn glancing at Noah’s lips for a millisecond during a take.

But the main point I’m getting at is that people who are dismissing Byler are not recognising that this is a traditional love triangle premise.

Now compare the canonical story to previous m/m ships

So because there are some similar activities happening in this fandom to what has been seen in those previous famous m/m ship fandoms, many Stranger Things fans are dismissing Byler as an imagined ship.

But how many of those old ships were able to boast about actual confirmed feelings, albeit one sided, with time left to explore things further?

There is absolutely no reason why the Byler ship resembles any of those “bromances” or queer baiting storylines in previous franchises and fiction.

This isn’t me saying that Byler will 100% become a couple

What I’m saying is that if nothing happens between them in season 5, that doesn’t undo the fact that Byler are a legitimate ship. It doesn’t undo the fact that Will’s feelings for Mike are canonical and that their storyline follows the premise of a traditional love triangle story.

There are people out there who are already trying to make Bylers feel stupid or ashamed for even exploring the potential of the ship, and all they’re doing is showing us how incredibly ignorant they are.

But that’s not to say that lessons can’t be learned from those previous m/m ship disasters

The one thing you should take from them is that people did get really attached, and so being let down by the show really hurt. It’s fine to speculate about Byler, but please don’t set your heart on them and let it break.

If we start to get legit info or confirmation that the ship won’t be requited, please don’t let yourself fall down the rabbit hole of conspiracy and set yourself up for disappointment.

But we have no legitimate reason to rule out Byler right now

The set up is there, the filming looks positive and the Duffers haven’t said anything to dispute the ship’s potential. Speculation is more than allowed - it’s normal and an inevitable result of season 4. So let’s have as much fun as we can and know that we’re doing nothing “deluded” or wrong.

[creamecream]

Kaveh and Alhaitham have a big Kaeya and Diluc vibe

I live for the familial distaste and disgust in this game for some reason.

[foxconfessorandthewolf]

Okay, so I’m a bit wine drunk but I don’t think I’ve ever really articulated why I love Snarry together and I’m currently trying to finish a fic after taking a three-year-hiatus from writing these two, so this is probably a good exercise!

I’m a bit on the older side of fandom, having been a fanartist and fervent reader since 2003, so my connection was really sparked during that time between OOTP and HBP when Snape and Harry were at some of their most clashing and deeply vitriolic, forced together into hateful vulnerability by Occulmency lessons. Every scene between them was electric, laced with tension as we truly did not know how things would go, or even where Snape’s true loyalties lay. He was an unknown, tied up with Harry’s own family’s mysterious past, connected to Harry in a myriad of odd ways that few other characters were, and - as a rivals-to-lovers lover - I was fascinated by him. From that first moment when they lock eyes in the Great Hall and that frisson of pain shoots through Harry’s scar, I desperately wanted to know who the hell this man was and his story. I think a lot of Snarry shippers come to the ship with a special appreciation for Severus Snape’s character himself. He’s such an incredibly drawn character, rich with complexity, complicated and pretty fucked up, with clearly-held passions, hatreds, weaknesses, and motivations. He’s emotional in a way a lot of other characters aren’t, though I think he’d loathe to hear that. And his character voice! It’s unique and pitch-perfect. You always know exactly who is speaking with his lines. Honestly, the way he evolved from a spy/traitor stock character to become so multifaceted and enigmatic is a masterpiece of characterization, and it’s an aspect of why I’m drawn to him - there’s still so much about his origins and well, what his damage was, that we don’t know. Because of this, I especially love Snarry fics that delve into character studies of him, trying to explore all the shadows left behind. I also admit I have a preference for interpreting Snape as morally grey. I like him petty, sharp-tongued, ambitious, with an incredibly liquid definition of what is right and wrong. He’s self-interested, dripping with disdain, and really doesn’t see that as a problem. What happens to him when he deeply falls in love?

I love a ship that makes me work for it. There’s no obvious line of how Snape and Harry might wind up together, so each fic is a wealth of possibilities of bringing these two together despite their roadblocks. As I mentioned, I’m big fan of animosity in a ship. Give me rivals, give me enemies, give me the sparking passions, the sharp fury, the way they stoke each others’ emotions and seek to hurt, the racing hearts, the raised hackles, the intense emotional reaction to another person. Just throw it at me. I devour that shit. I love the messy and taboo nature of their relationship, the complications raising from their age difference, temperaments, and largely similar and shared traumas. There’s an interesting element of Snape being a foil to James Potter, and how that relates to Harry and their past. Basically, this shit is really good potting soil for incredible fucking fics, packed with nutrients.

The shared natures of their traumas, like Voldemort and each being forgotten and abused as children and how they might be able to understand each other and bond from it is also something that’s fascinating to explore. I love when a writer pushes on Snape’s bruises, looking to make them hurt, cracking his sardonic brain open and rooting around in there, and I love when they compare and contrast to Harry’s. There’s a seductiveness to how Snape is so obsessed with Harry, fixated on his Boy Who Lived heroic reputation, clearly dripping with envy. What, beyond jealousy, might draw Snape to Harry and what, other than hatred, might draw Harry to Snape?

It’s all this, the passionate, electric, dangerous nature of their relationship; the way their characters contrast each other yet have surprising connections; and the question of finding solace that keeps me here, 21 years later. I’ve had wines less complex than this ship. They’re fascinating. They’re messy. They’re everything.

[crossposted from a reddit comment I just left, and wanted to share with y’all]

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

[gegengestalt]

Katerina Ivanovna Verkhotseva! (For the ask game thingy)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

(You don’t have to answer all of these if you don’t want to, however I love your takes on her and am dying to hear you talk about her more.)

Oooh, finally! Someone sends me something related to the ask game! And about one of my favourite girls, too!

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

If I had to choose just one, it would be how explosive she can be. I love it so much when things don't go her way and she goes from being so doting to resorting to insults and almost throwing hands. This is not simply the rage of a young woman who shows her true colours when she doesn't have what she wants, she really, really seems to be convinced that things are going her way... And then reality hits her.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Oh, Katya Ivanovna, you would have loved Me and My Husband by Mitski. Somehow I imagine the lyrics being about her and Mitya at first, but as the song goes on she's actually talking about Ivan.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I don't feel like Katya is talked about much in general, and I can say so confidently after navigating as much TBK related content on the internet as I could. So I don't really know what to say. When she gets attention, I specially love it when her God/saviour/martyr complex is adressed and appreciated. She is a little weird.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Tough question, since there is a lot I dislike about how female characters are treated by readers in general (as well as narratives). I'm going to try to be original and say something I haven't said before. I don't really like it when the girls are pitted against each other, like you have to choose one of them or think one is better than the other. I think a lot of the animosity between her and Grusha come from struggles with themselves and their fears and insecurities, and I feel sympathetic towards both of them, both young women who want to feel some control over their lives. So it breaks my heart a little when other people who prefer Grusha put down Katya and viceversa.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

This is half headcanon half character reading, but knowing that she lost her mother at a young age and that there is a theme of absent mothers throughout the book, I like to think that the loss of her mother impacted how she turned out and why she seems to take on some motherlike, overbearing tendencies herself.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Hmmm, I don't know how I'm supposed to answer to this, but I associate her with elegant, long clothing in green, blue and white, sometimes with gold accessories. Combined with the light brown hair of my design, it gives her a springlike kind of look.

In The Sims, I gave her a preppy, simple look with light colours. Here she is, I don't know why she's loooking at squids on her phone.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Katya was a character who had to grow on me. On my first read, I didn't like her much, but I didn't dislike her either. She was, in fact, one of the harder characters to visualize. I had to make several sketches of her designs because all I could think of was "tall slender girl with dark eyes and a lot of hair". Only after processing what I had read for a longer time I started to pick apart everything she said and started to appreciate her more (and started to appreciate her relationship to Ivan as well). In retrospective, the buildup to her introduction was great. It's not as good as Nastasya's, but it's the work of a good writer. I love Katya, saviour complex and all.

[summerkoya]

the next right thing

She became the blessing he never wished for, his damnation. She became the living, breathing proof that Aemond Targaryen carried his heart outside his body. 

But when has any of that ever been powerful enough to endure a conflict of principles? 

Chapter 1

aemond targaryen x original female character , aemond targaryen x wife!oc

summary: Myria and Aemond welcome their new little dragon into the world

warnings: fluff, angst, childbirth (not explicit though)

(all characters portrayed are aged up from original ages in the book/show)

****

Myria sighed in relief as she sank in the comfort of the tub full of lukewarm water. She dismissed all the maids in the room, wishing to enjoy what she felt would be the last few days just between her and the baby, before they were born. Eyes closed, she placed a hand on her heavily swollen stomach, and delicately started caressing it. 

“Ah, you can’t join us fast enough, my little dragon.” She whispered, with a smile on her lips. It was a bittersweet feeling, given that she did desire to cherish the end of her pregnancy, yet she was rather eager to gain once again freedom of her own body, instead of being bound by, not only Maesters’ orders, but her own scarce mobility due to her enlarged frame.

She was enjoying herself for the first time in a while, as she had been feeling nothing but extreme discomfort all day, everyday, when she heard the soft thud of the door being opened. The silence that followed afterwards was all she needed to figure out who it was. 

“Hello there.” Myria muttered, as Aemond settled a stool right next to the tub so he could sit beside it. “Where are the boys?” 

“They’re with the Septa.” He answered, gently resting his hand on her belly. “They were covered in dirt from head to toe after our ‘quest’, as they called it, to the dragonpit.” 

“Thank you, Aemond.” She opened her eyes, and stared at him with a loving expression on her face. “You know how important it is to me that the boys spend time with us and are taught by us; raised by us, and these past moons the entirety of that responsibility has fallen upon you.” She placed her hand over his, skin hot as he had been training right before, and immediately felt the baby kicking against her abdomen. 

“‘Tis the least I can do,” he murmured, in a heavy voice. It was weird, that not even feeling the baby’s kicks, something that usually guaranteed would put a smile on his face, managed to tear down the aura of unsettlement that surrounded him. She raised his hands, and held them against her chest.  

“What is it, dear husband?” She asked, with a chuckle. “Have the two little monsters we have for sons terrorised you enough for the day?” 

He bit down on his lips, as if he didn’t want to speak the words he was thinking, dreading they would become true because of it. 

“The Velaryon are coming,” he finally muttered, dryly, “Vaemond has requested an audience to discuss Driftmark’s succession.” 

Myria knew about the animosity there was between the two families. Although Aemond and Rhaenyra’s children were raised together in the Red Keep, he didn’t have many fond memories of their shared youth. The further the Velaryon kept away from both their lives and conversation, the better it was for his already short tempered and resentful persona.

“Oh,” she breathed, “I believed that matter was already settled. That both your father, and most importantly Lord Corlys had proclaimed Luke as his heir.” 

“They did, yes. But I suspect that the King’s growing inability to sit the throne has built some courage on Vaemond, and now he’s pushing for the Driftmark seat again.” 

“Under which pretexts?” 

Aemond looked at her with an incredulous look on his face. As smart as he thought his wife to be, she did have plenty of painfully naive moments, on account of her foolishly trusting and kind nature. 

“What?” She snapped, her tone got defensive. “Is it only because they don’t look like their father that their titles are being questioned?” 

“Vaemond is just trying to protect his house’s lineage, dearest.” 

“By calling Rhaenyra’s children illegitimate!” She complained, harshly pushing his hands away from her. That was precisely the reason why she hated whenever the subject of Rhaenyra and her children worked its way into their conversations, she knew it was an issue upon which they would never reach any sort of mutual agreement. 

“You can’t deny… they do have a very strong resemblance to a certain late commander of the City Watch.” He sniggered, letting an all too familiar malicious grin claim his features. “She should’ve given more thought before bearing Strong looking children.” 

Myria’s eyes started to swell with tears, and she protectively covered her stomach in a hug. “That’s a despicable thing to say, Aemond. Especially when she’s your sister.” 

“‘Tis only the truth.” He continued to argue, and although he was usually the kind of person to savour a victory with no remorse and a smug expression on his face, he couldn’t help but to feel his gaze soften at the sight of such an upset Myria. He’d like to know which part of his words had caused that profound of a reaction on her, but he was never one good with emotions. 

“I don’t like it when you make such comments, Aemond.” She explained in a weak voice, roughly cleaning up the tears streaming down her cheek. “This whole… obsession you Targaryens have with looking a certain way”. 

Aemond felt his heart shrink in his chest, as a veil of shame started looming around him. What kind of man allowed himself to be the reason behind his beloved wife’s tears? The wife that had already gifted him two healthy, beautiful children and was enduring the hardships of having another in the way? No honourable one for sure.   

“I apologise dearest, I didn’t know this matter distressed you this much.” 

“So far I’ve been lucky, Aemond,” she whimpered, knowingly looking at her stomach, “for both Trystan and Griffin look like you, but what if this baby takes after me? What if the baby is born with my dornish looks, instead of a dragon’s? What kind of comments will I have to get used to hearing?” 

Aemond felt a twinge of guilt on the depths of his stomach, given that he could recall a few instances when both him and his family had gloated on how much of a Targaryen both his sons took after. On how the dragon blood was a strong one indeed. 

“None.” Aemond answered, almost shivering with fury at the thought of someone making such insinuations towards his wife. “If anyone dared making such remarks, I’d have their tongues.” 

Myria, who had failed to realise their talk had reached such an intensity her husband had a murderous look on his face, decided to back down and let her lips curl into a soft smile. Besides, she had another difficult topic of conversation she needed to bring up, eventually. She had to preserve some of her husband’s patience for that. 

“I apologise, my love, for speaking such dreadful words,” she mumbled, placing a reassuring hand on his cheek. “We shouldn’t let words born out of anger rot what it would have otherwise been a joyous moment, should we?” 

Aemond took a second before nodding, and deemed the discussion over by once again laying his hand over her swollen stomach. 

“Who do you think the baby will look like, this time?” 

“I wish for the baby to look like you.” Aemond smiled subtly. “Girls always take after their mothers.” 

“We don’t know if it is a girl yet.” Myria chuckled. “It could very much be another boy, you know. Will you be happy if that’s the case?” 

“Of course I’ll be, I only pray to the Gods for a healthy child.” He explained. “I just have a feeling it will be a daughter.” 

“But if it’s not?” She insisted, with a wary leer on her lips. 

Aemond stared at her in confusion, failing to understand Myria’s persistence on the matter. He believed himself to be a good, present father to their sons. He cherished them deeply and, because words of love didn’t come easy to him, he made sure his actions were a testament of such affections. He wished for a daughter, sure, but he found it hard to believe Myria would ever think he wouldn’t adore another boy just as much. Besides, they could always try again. 

And, as if she had read his mind, Myria turned her face towards him, letting a gloomy semblance cover her usually cheeky demeanour. “I too wish for a daughter, but I hope for you, my love, that indeed it’s one. Because this is the last time, Aemond. I do not wish to do this again. I’ve already given you two sons, and we have another babe in the way, I think I’ve already performed my duty. Even if this one is another son, I do not wish to get pregnant again only for the yearning of a daughter.” 

The princess remained in silence, assessing her dear husband’s reaction, but there wasn’t any. He simply stared back at her, with a frivolous mien on his face. 

“Are you mad at me, dear?” She asked, holding tight on his hands.

Aemond took a deep breath in, and then spoke: “If it’s indeed anger what you make out my feelings to be, rest assured they’re not because of you, dearest, for they’re directed at me.” He sighed, refusing to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry that you’ve felt as if having my children were a duty to you, rather than a choice. And I’m even more ashamed that you believed I would ever force that on you.” 

“No, Aemond, please.” Myria said, straightening up. She stretched out towards him, placing her palm on his cheek, and softly pushed his face towards her, pressing him to look at her. “Our kids, all three of them, are a blessing to me. And they were born out of love, not duty, believe me. I am not telling you this because I fear you will force children on me, I am letting you know this will be our last baby so you can get used to that idea. I know you wanted lots of children, and I wouldn’t want you to feel as if our family was incomplete.” 

Aemond reached for her hands, and held them against his lips, so he could leave a mellow kiss on them. He then placed them over his chest. 

“I’ve considered our family to be complete the moment I married you, Myr.” He said, gently.  “Don’t ever worry about that.” 

And she knew he meant that, for he rarely called her by such a name. Maybe it was because of how flustered she felt, or how strongly she felt about her husband, or maybe it was just a coincidence, but right at that moment the baby started to kick again. 

“Feel that,” she said, beaming, putting his hands over her stomach, “I think the baby is eager to come out. They’ve been kicking so much lately, and with such strength, I wouldn’t be surprised if I genuinely gave birth to a dragon.” 

Aemond promptly looked at her, his face turning into a grin one could find in a child when they’re being asked about a subject they’re very interested in. “As a matter of fact,” he rushed to explain, not being able to conceal his excitement, “there’s a myth that Targaryens are first conceived as dragons when they’re in the womb, and eventually develop into humans, right before birth.” 

“The matter is settled, then,” she chuckled, “neither a baby boy nor a baby girl, a baby dragon.” 

“Īlva rūs zaldrīzes.” He affirmed proudly, to which the baby started kicking again. 

“I think they like that.” She giggled. “But you better not say that word again, it hurts when they get this excited.” Myria groaned. 

Aemond let a little smile cover his face, and drew his face closer to her stomach. 

“Sagon sȳz naejot aōha muña, ñuha zaldrītsos.” (Be kind to your mother, my little dragon). 

• • •

Aemond stayed with her until the sun set, and helped her back to their chambers, where their two boys were expecting them, jumping up and down all around the room in excitement. 

Myria loved her children. More than anything in the world, more than anything she had ever loved before. But she couldn’t deny they were a handful. They were nice and kind boys, but very vigorous ones indeed. She didn’t have enough fingers in her hands to count the times she’d had to catch them mind air before jumping into something dangerous or forbidding them from waking up a very much asleep Vaghar. So when she saw their mischievous little faces smiling at them with a grin so big it went from ear to ear, she knew better than to ignore that. 

“What have you been up to, little dragons?” She asked, awkwardly bending down and opening her arms so they could hug her. 

“We have a surprise, mama!” Their eldest, Trystan, cheered. He was four years of age, and was very much Aemond’s twin. He had silvery blonde hair, and big, crystal clear blue eyes. Yet he had rather inherited her mother’s cheerful and loving character, much to Aemond’s liking. 

“You do?” She asked, with panic in her eyes. Her boys’ surprises usually consisted of messes, mostly. “What is it?” 

“Come see!” Griffin, aged two, grabbed her hand and started rushing her towards the fireplace. He too resembled his father, pale blue eyes and silver hair, except the latter one had a few hints of red, much like Myria’s. 

She looked over at her husband with an inquiring look on her face, wondering if he knew which surprise the children were talking about. Did she need to brace herself for absolute chaos?

“Don’t worry,” he chuckled, placing a hand on her lower back to help her heavily pregnant body follow the rushing steps of the toddlers. “‘Tis indeed a nice, harmless surprise.” 

And it surely was. She glanced over the fireplace, and found a golden, shimmering dragon egg laying over the flaming firewood. 

“Dreamfire brought a fresh clutch!” Trys squealed in happiness. “Aunt Helaena let us pick one for the new baby! Now Rhaexar and Maelar will have a little brother!” 

Myria smiled at the boys, and squeezed her husband’s hand. She knew seeing his children get dragons from the moment they were newborns must’ve been a bittersweet feeling for him. Both Trystan and Griffin’s eggs hatched within their cradles, and had grown into strong, healthy young dragons already. She knew he hadn’t been as lucky as a child. She knew how much pain it had caused him not having a dragon as early as his brother and nephews, and how much it had cost him to finally claim one. An eye for a dragon. 

“That’s incredible, sweethearts.” She smiled, ruffling Trys’ hair. “Now, will you be taking care of it? Making sure there’s always fire burning under it?” 

“I thought you didn’t let us play with fire.” The boy objected, with a playful grin on his face. He was a master in finding loopholes to help him get away with his shenanigans. 

“And you’re still very much not allowed, but you’ll be the ones in charge of calling an adult to rekindle it if it's needed, alright?”

“Alright, mama.” The boys agreed, and then kept on loudly marvelling about the beautiful egg. 

Aemond then proceeded to sit by the window, after intentionally pulling out a big book from the shelf, which catched the kids’ attention. Both of them ran towards him, and hopped onto his lap. 

“Could you read it to us, father?” Trystan requested. 

“All of it is in High Valyrian.” Aemond warned them. 

“That’s alright.” 

“Sure then, we’ll see how much you’ve been practising.” He teased them, with a devilish grin on his face. 

Myria chuckled, grateful her husband was entertaining them, and seized the opportunity to prepare herself for bed. She leisurely changed into her nightgown, and undid her hair. She brushed her teeth and applied a few drops of perfume on her wrists. 

After taking care of herself, she came back into the room, not surprised to find it in chaos once again. The boys were running all around the room, recreating scenes of the book as their father read them outloud. 

Myria hated being the one to burst their bubble of fun, but she was eager to get a very much needed rest, and the boys would behave like demons the following day if they didn’t get any sleep.

“Okay boys, let me get you to bed now.” She called, but was unsuccessful in getting them to listen. “Trys, Griff, come on!” She asked again, with a tiresome frown. 

“Boys!” Aemond was the one to notice her protests, and called them out sternly, which made them stop jumping all around the room. “Rȳbagon naejot aōha muña, and do as she tells you.” 

Myria mouthed her gratitude and walked the boys towards their room, just across the hall. She set them in their beds , and slowly started to put out the candles inside the lamps around the room.

“Mama, will the baby be born tomorrow?” Trys asked her. 

“I don’t know, bee.” She said, sitting by him. “Maybe, maybe not. Are you excited to have a new baby brother or sister?” 

“Yes!” Both kids nodded enthusiastically. “Mom, can I name the new baby when it comes?” 

“We’ll see about that, love.” She exhaled, too exhausted to argue with a four year old on why they couldn’t name the new baby ‘Balerion’. “Now, go to sleep. You need your rest to go spar with your father tomorrow, alright?”

“Alright mama.” 

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” 

Myria kissed the boys goodnight, and returned to her chambers, where she found Aemond undressing for the night. She walked towards him, and gently started to help him get his clothes down. 

“So, that was what you were doing with the boys all afternoon, fetching the dragon egg?” 

He simply hummed in response, but Myria was used to it. Her husband was a man of few words, after all. 

“Sometimes I’m jealous of you three.” She admitted, as Aemond turned around. She placed her hands on his cheeks. “For having dragons. For being dragon riders. For having dragon blood.” 

Aemond stared at her with apprehension, and put both his hands on her swollen stomach. “You are more dragon than any of us, my lady.” He replied, enjoying his wife’s caresses. 

Myria’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“You’ve given birth to two dragon children. You have yet another one in your belly. You’ve been tending to Rhaexar and Maelar ever since they hatched, I would be surprised if they didn’t trust in you enough to let you ride them, once they’re older. And you already know, whenever you wish to go for a ride on Vaghar, all you need to do is ask. She likes you.” 

“Hm, I know my darling.” She dreamily smiled, thinking about the times she had ridden the ancient dragon with her husband, and his strong grip on her waist and thighs as he sat behind her. “But I’m afraid that in this condition, the only place where I find some comfort is in a tub full of warm water.” 

“I can call for another one if you wish, dearest.” 

“No need for that, just come to bed with me.” 

“As you wish.” 

Both of them laid in bed, and as they were putting the candles on their nightstands out, she noticed something. 

“Aemond.” She breathed, and reached out towards him. “You’re still wearing your eye patch. Here.” She gently undid the tie behind his head, and let the patch fall onto the bed, revealing a blue sapphire where her husband’s left eye should’ve been. 

She stretched out and left a kiss right over his scar, as she always did after taking its cover away. And because words, especially those born out of sincere, loving feelings, didn’t come easy to him, he resorted to grabbing her by her back, pulling her close to him, so he could kiss her on the lips. 

“Goodnight, my love.” She called, and after one last kiss, both of them fell into their pillows, closing their eyes, hoping it wouldn’t take long to find some sleep. 

But that wasn’t the case for Myria. She was uncomfortable. If it wasn’t the position that bothered her, it was the fact that she felt too hot with the covers on, but too cold without them, or then it was the weight the baby made on her belly, which made her want to pee at all times. To make matters worse, every time she felt herself drifting away, into the blissful abyss of slumberness, the baby felt it necessary to kick, as hard as they could. Maybe she did truly bore a dragon inside. 

She turned around to look at her husband, and felt a pinch of unjustifiable annoyance at the sight of him peacefully sleeping, with no uncomfort whatsoever depriving him of rest. 

“Aemond,” she whispered into the man’s ear. She saw his lips press together into a line, and his eyebrows furrow into a frown. “Aemond, I can’t sleep.” 

Judging from the way her husband’s breathing paced up and how his position shifted, she assumed she had awoken him, but he still refused to open his eye. 

“Aemond,” she repeated, in a louder voice, “Aemond, I’m afraid your baby is very much awake and won’t let me find some sleep. Can you do me a favour?”

“Hm.” 

“Talk to them in High Valyrian. That always manages to calm the baby down.” 

Aemond grunted, and immediately afterwards straightened up, and placed his lips against her belly. 

“Ivestragī aōha muña rhaenagon mirri ēdrugon, zaldrītsos.” (Let your mother find some sleep, little dragon).

• • •

Morning came, and Myria felt as if a miracle had happened. She had been able to sleep all night long, and for the first time in months, she hadn’t woken up completely exhausted. She didn’t know how much time Aemond had spent talking to the baby in High Valyrian, for sleep found her as he kept on telling stories about grand cities and immense dragons. By the time she opened her eyes, Aemond had already left towards the training area, most probably with both their boys following from behind. 

She got up, and with the help of her maid got dressed for the day. She and Helaena would visit the King in his chambers, hoping to break her fast with him as they did every other morning, and then spend the rest of the day relaxing in the bath. 

But by the time her meeting with Viserys was put to an end, she knew she had some issues to discuss with her husband. Pressing ones. Myria knew the wise thing to do would be to remain silent, to avoid putting herself in danger, but the blood of the dragon growing inside of her ruled over her, making her fiery, volatile, and determined. Hence her hurrying towards the training yard, against her wisdom. 

She spotted Ser Criston Cole right away, sparring with some nobleman’s son, but she couldn’t find Aemond and the boys at first. That is, until she glanced towards an isolated corner of the patio, where she saw three silvery heads, side by side. Aemond was kneeling down, explaining something to the two little boys. 

They were each holding small swords, ones most probably Aemond had requested were made for them. Their father was teaching them how to properly hold the handles, and they were fairly focused on him, until they spotted their mother walking towards them. 

“Mama!” The boys’ faces lit up with delight. 

“Hello darlings!” She tried to bend down in order to pick Griff up, but felt a strong throb on her stomach as she was doing so. She let out a faint “Ouch!”, and bolted back up with a smile, to avoid worrying Aemond.

“Is everything alright?” Her husband asked, not being fooled by Myria’s cover up. 

“It is. I just hadn’t realised I am already at that stage where I can’t bend down comfortably, don’t worry.” She lent him a reassuring smile. “Am I interrupting something?” 

“We were just having some fun, right taobi?” 

“Mama, kepa said that we could sōvegon isse Vaghar later if we behaved!” 

“You’re more than welcome to join us, if you wish.” Aemond’s smirk reached her eyes. 

“Actually, my prince, I was wondering if you wished to go for a walk in the gardens with me, if that’s alright.” She hurried to ask, with a knowing look on her face. 

“Of course, my lady. Cole!” He screamed, looking for the knight. 

“Yes, my prince?”

“Could you keep on training with the children? I’ll escort my wife to the gardens.” 

“Certainly, my prince. Princess.” He added, bowing his head towards her. “Come here, you little monsters.” The man addressed the boys with an affectionate expression on his face. Although Myria felt as if there was something off about Ser Criston, she couldn’t pretend he didn’t absolutely adore her children. And he had always been not only a friend, but a father figure to her husband, and she respected him for that.

The couple left the yard, and walked towards the beautiful, blooming gardens. If Myria weren’t in her condition, she would spend most of her day there, gardening, with the kids. She had always adored being surrounded by flowers and trees and insects, and there were few activities she enjoyed better than taking care of them. But the swollen belly made such a task an impossible one. 

As a matter of fact, if it wasn’t for her husband's strong grip on her waist, she wouldn’t be able to walk down the stairs that led to the grounds. Aemond rather enjoyed that outcome of her being with child, if truth be told. He would never admit it, but he liked having excuses to touch his wife like that, and always seized the opportunity to let his fingers linger around her for far longer than it would be considered appropriate to do in public. 

They walked on silence for a few minutes, admiring the beautiful flowers and the stunning views of the ocean, until Myria raised her voice: 

“I visited your father today, I broke my fast with him.” 

“That’s nice.” Aemond lied, forcing his lips into a smile. Over the years, he had grown resentful of his father and he wasn’t fond of the apparently great relationship his wife had with him. 

“He didn’t know Rhaenyra is coming tomorrow.” She said, dryly. 

“Hm.” He nodded, glancing towards her. 

“Apparently no one in this family thought it necessary to tell the King his daughter and grandchildren are coming.” She added, in a condescending tone, feeling fury starting to boil in her blood. 

Aemond abruptly stopped on his tracks, and Myria would’ve tripped forwards if he hadn’t grabbed her by the waist, rather harshly. She felt another pinch on her stomach, but because of the adrenaline she was feeling, she didn’t find it hard to ignore it. 

“And what exactly do you want me to do about that?” 

“And I didn’t even get to explain to him the reason they’re coming, because the moment he seemed to start understanding what I was talking about, a maid came rushing and drowned him in milk of the poppy.” She added, through gritted teeth. 

“I don’t think it’s your place to be informing the King on such matters, my lady.” He answered, eyebrows furrowing into an angry frown.

“And I couldn’t help but wonder,” she ignored him, “who would try and hide this away from the King? Who indeed would want to avoid having your father speak on such matters?” She continued, raising her voice. 

“Careful.” Aemond whispered, discreetly looking around, worrying for his wife, for not even their titles would be able to protect her if such words were heard by the wrong ears. 

“And then I realised: why would they not want your father ending once and for all these treacherous claims? What’s in it for them, if Rhaenyra’s son is declared unworthy of the Driftmark throne? And what consequences would that bring to other claims, by extension?” 

Aemond shortened the space between them, and gently placed his hand over Myria’s mouth. 

“What are you implying, my lady?”

“I think you know exactly what I’m implying, Aemond.” Myria hurled back, firmly hitting his hand down. “I know your whole family, yourself included, like to think of me an idiot, but I am not. And I listen to the whispers, we all have. Everyone knows it’s been moons since the King last attended a council meeting, let alone sat the throne, and who’s been ruling in his name. And if one is to believe in whispers, then very corrupt conversations are being held right now, as we speak, in that very same room.”  

“You could get your tongue cut off for making such allegations, did you know?” 

“I don’t blame your mother, I don’t think she’s taking any part in it. But I think you know very well about the Hand’s intentions, for when the inevitable happens.” She sneered. Myria spoke words of truth yet her lips were laced with poison. “And I believe you condone them.” 

Hearing those words, spoken in such a reproaching manner by his wife, was the final straw for Aemond. He felt his nostrils flare up with fury, and decided she was no longer worth the kindness of being reasonable. She chose to anger the dragon— then she could face the consequences. 

“And would it really be that bad, huh?” He roared. “That a trueborn Targaryen sat the Throne?”

“Rhaenyra is a trueborn Targaryen.” She argued back. 

“Her children are not.”

“Even if Laenor weren’t their father, they’re not Targaryens because of him, they carry the dragon blood because of her. And Jacaerys won’t inherit the throne because of Laenor, he will inherit the throne because of his mother, the legitimate heir.” 

“There is not one place in the whole realm where bastards aren’t stripped of all their titles. Explain to me why this is any different.” 

Myria was about to answer with rage, when she felt a scream get caught up on her throat. She felt as if water were running down her legs, and she lifted the skirt of her dress to find a pink, gooey liquid covering her thighs. She looked up towards Aemond with dismay in her eyes, which managed to make him forget about any sort of anger he might have had towards her at the moment. He ran towards her, just in time to prevent her from falling as another cry left her lips. 

“Wh—what’s wrong, dearest?” He asked, worried. 

“Nothing is wrong I— I just think the baby is coming.” She answered, with a smile caused by both joy and pain.

“Are you sure?” 

“I’ve done this two times already, Aemond, I’d know if something were wrong.” She clinged on his arm, as another sharp ache invaded her body. “This simply means we’re going to meet our baby soon.” 

“That is good news, my lady.” He grinned. 

But not everything went as smoothly as they believed. 

• • •

It had been hours since Aemond called the Maester, and some more since night had already fallen upon the castle, and the baby had yet to arrive. The prince could hear his wife’s screams from the hallway, and each one of them felt like he was being pierced through the heart. 

“What is wrong, Maestre?” He asked the old man, concerned. 

“Nothing, young prince.” He replied, with a shrug. “It’s just a long labour, that’s all. So far, Princess Myria has been blessed with rather quick, smooth labours. This one will simply be more challenging, my prince.” 

Another bawl broke the silence, and Aemond felt his heart sink on his chest. 

“Isn’t there anything you can give to her?” 

“When the time comes, we’ll provide her with the milk of the poppy. But I’m afraid it’ll be a long time before it comes to that. I trust you will be in the chambers with her, as you were the last two times?” The old man asked, with a bitter look on his face. For some reason, he had always been disapproving about Aemond’s decision on being with his wife during her labours. 

He straightened his posture, and put on a threatening mien. He didn’t like it when being questioned. 

“I think that’s your cue, my prince.” The Maester backed down, as Myria’s screams reached them once more. 

Aemond rushed towards the door, and he opened it to find his wife holding onto the bed frame for dear life. 

“Here,” he said, offering his arm, “lean on me.” 

“What is wrong, Aemond?” She grunted, pressing her nails against his flesh as another contraction hit her. “And why is it that you two find it righteous to speak behind my back when I’m the one agonising? When I’m the one bearing the pain of being in labours?”

Aemond hid a smile, for he would be lying if he said he wasn’t fond of the fire that seized over his wife whenever she carried one of his children. Ever too kind and gentle of a woman, it was rather amusing seeing her snap like that. Aemond liked it when she was fiery. He found it alluring. 

“The Maester says nothing is wrong, we are simply unlucky it’s a long labour. We can only endure it.” 

“Easier said than done.” She grunted with a muffled voice, given that she was harshly pressing her face against his chest to avoid screaming her lungs out. “And why is it exactly that you aren’t groaning in pain with me?” 

“My lady?” He asked, confused. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she scoffed, with an insolent look on her face, “I just heard you said that ‘we’ have to endure it, so I seem to have made the mistake to assume that ‘we’ were indeed suffering the same torture.” 

Myria felt a contraction so agonising, she couldn't help but to cry out tears of pain while leaning towards her husband. She pressed her forehead against his chest, bending down, while he caressed her arms. 

“If I could take any of the pain away, I would, dearest.” 

Hours kept passing by, and it wasn’t until sunrise that the midwives declared the baby would arrive briefly. She was sat on the bed, Aemond holding tight on her hand, and so it started, the moment Myria dreaded the most. 

It was known that pushing was the most dangerous part in any birth. Myria thought about the baby she wouldn’t get to know, her boys, and everything they would be losing if something happened to her. She felt her chest hastily pounding with panic, and her skin breaking out in sweat. Her vision became blurry, and she had trouble hearing what was being said to her. 

Aemond seemed to be the only one to detect her panic, and so he softly grabbed her chin, and forced her gaze into his. He gave her a nod, one filled with encouragement and love, and the barriers of reality became solid once more, as her senses came back to her. Nothing could happen to her as long as Aemond was there, we would never let any harm come her way. 

Two excruciatingly long hours later, Myria sobbed in relief as she heard a baby’s cry. Her face was covered in sweat, and she felt as if she were about to pass out. But the babe was fine, she was relieved to hear. 

“It’s a healthy, strong boy, Princess.” The midwives chanted, as she was handed the newborn. She cried tears of joy as he was placed in her arms. The baby had a very fine layer of golden, copper blonde hair and beautiful brown, honey eyes; a spitting image of her. 

She looked up towards Aemond, beaming. He pulled himself closer, so he could leave a kiss on her forehead, an action which everyone took as a signal to leave, and let the new parents enjoy some privacy. 

Myria urged him to sit by her side, and she handed the baby to him. He delicately took him in his arms, despite how many times he had already carried his newborn children, he never got past the feeling of them being the dearest, most fragile thing in the world, and started rocking him gently. 

“Don’t you wish he was a girl?” 

“No.” He said, with a very subtle smile on his lips. “He looks like you.” 

“Does that upset you?” 

“It is a blessing he is as beautiful as his mother.” He said, smiling broadly at her. The kind of smile she was rarely granted, the one he reserved for special occasions such as their children’s births, when he felt each of their first kicks, or when their dragon eggs hatched. So she tried to soak up as much of it as she could, and decided to seal the moment with a kiss on his lips. She wouldn’t dare to say it— for she knew her husband felt uneasy about showing affection, but she hoped he could understand the words hidden behind that kiss. Avy jorrāelan. I love you. 

She could feel a smile on his lips, and, even if she needed any further proof that he had understood what laid underneath it, she got that as he mumbled his next words:

“Thank you, Myr.” 

She bit on her lips, to avoid any sort of doting words coming out of them, and left one final kiss on his cheek, before returning her attention towards the cooing baby. Whether it was normal for newborns to do so, she didn’t know, but the baby boy wouldn’t stop energetically kicking his legs.  

“You’re a strong one, huh, ñuha zaldrītsos?” Myria commented lovingly. “No wonder I felt my insides bruised!” She giggled, laughter laced with overwhelming affection. 

“He’s very much welcome to bruise me, now, for a change.” Aemond chuckled, as the baby hit his chest with his legs. “‘Tis only fair, my lady.” 

“I quite agree.” She smiled. “He’s precious, isn’t he?” 

“Hm.” 

• • •

They enjoyed a few hours of privacy, doting on their newborn, before they decided it was time to bring the children so they could meet their baby brother. Aemond entered the room, with the two boys bouncing up and down with excitement. As soon as they spotted the little baby in their mother's arms, they began rushing towards the bed. Aemond bolted towards them just in time to pick them up before they could hop onto their mother. 

“Boys, what did I say on the way here?” He scolded them. “You’ll have to be gentle towards your mother these days. No crushing her.” 

“It’s alright, bees, you can come, but carefully.” She said, staring lovingly at them. “Come meet your baby brother!”

“Is it a boy?” Trys squealed in excitement, sitting by her side, while Aemond laid Griffin down on her other side. 

“He is.” Myria ruffled the boy’s hair. “Do you want to hold him?” 

“Yes, yes mama, please!” Trystan perked up with enthusiasm. 

“Be careful with his head, alright?” She said, settling the baby in the boy’s arms. For such a wild child— he remained unusually still, which was a testament on how much he cherished his new baby brother already.

“Alright, mama.” Trystan answered, delicately holding his head, and Myria could feel her heart expanding at the sight of them together. 

“I want too!” Griffin complained, climbing onto his mother’s lap. 

Myria grunted in pain, still pretty sore from the birth, pretty sure the Maester would advise her against such gestures, to help the stitches cure quicker. She noticed Aemond was about to pull Griff away, but she motioned him it was not needed. She could handle it. 

“You’ll get to hold him too, after your brother, my love.” She soothed him, leaving a kiss on his temple. 

“Mama, can we name him Max?” Trystan blurted, out of the blue. 

“Where did you get that from?” Myria chuckled, with her eyebrows furrowed. 

“It’s from one of the books father reads to us before bed.” The little boy explained. 

Myria looked over at Aemond, since they hadn’t discussed names yet. She was planning on letting him choose, especially since he had very kindly allowed her to pick the first two in traditionally dornish names. 

“Ser Maxen Uller of Hellholt.” Aemond nodded, smiling softly at the toddler, proud of the little boy’s attention to his teachings. “Esquire of Princess Nymeria during the war. Grand name fitting of a grand warrior.” 

“Does that mean we can name him Max?” Trys asked, eyes filled with hope. 

Myria looked at Aemond, and shrugged. She quite liked Max. And, truth to be told, as the high from meeting the baby started to wear off, she began to feel tired and sickly, and not at all fitted to endure an hour worth of name discussion. So she looked at Aemond, and nodded. 

“Prince Maxen of House Targaryen it is, then” He announced, cheerfully.

****

a/n: please forgive any mistakes, english is not my first language! i had this idea for a fic ever since i first watched the show, about aemond marrying a dornish heiress, and finallt got around writing it. i hope you enjoyed this! thinking about turning it into a series

[jokers-ghoul]

Might be a dumb question(s), but: how come the doctor can use his powers and seems to recognize phaya? how come phaya and tharn are in the dark about their past lives aside from visions/dreams that pop up randomly?

the doctor clearly locks tharn inside his car when he threatens phaya that he will keep phaya and tharn away from each other at all costs; even if that means killing tharn.

phaya did use his ‘power’ in the last episode, but it was only because he felt strongly about the doctor trying to get between tharn and him.

I’m sure this is explained in the book at some point. I’m assuming some of this has to deal with tharn’s bad karma, but i’m surely wrong.

follow up questions:

are nāgas known to be manipulative?

why does the doctor feel this compulsion to keep tharn and phaya apart?

does the doctor love tharn or is this a he-was-mine-first deal?

is garuda and nāgas known to feud?

I know that Garuda is known to protect people from nāga in a ‘he must protect humankind’ kind of way. There was also somewhere that said Garuda wore nāgas as a necklace (or jewelry of some sort), so I can imagine there’s some kind of animosity there. I just don’t understand the context of it in this story currently.

what is tharn’s historical character? someone mentioned it, but I cannot find it again.

if this follows a thai legend: what is the legend? i don’t currently have time to deep dive on the interwebs

are tharn and phaya’s friends just bystanders as side-plots for the main story?

do they have other significance in phaya and tharn’s past?

i’ve sent you pictures;;; pls respond..

[hattrickeryreviews]

Breakaway (Scoring Chances #1) - Avon Gale

"Drafted to play for the Jacksonville Sea Storm, an NHL affiliate, twenty-year-old Lane Courtnall’s future looks bright, apart from the awkwardness he feels as a gay man playing on a minor league hockey team. He's put his foot in his mouth a few times and alienated his teammates. Then, during a rivalry game, Lane throws off his gloves against Jared Shore, enforcer for the Savannah Renegades. It’s a strange way to begin a relationship.

Jared’s been playing minor league hockey for most of his career. He’s bisexual and doesn’t care if anyone knows. But he’s determined to avoid another love affair after the last one left him devastated. Out of nowhere a one-nighter with rookie Lane Courtnall gives him second thoughts. Lane reminds Jared why he loves the game and why love might be worth the risk. In turn, Jared hopes to show Lane how to be comfortable with himself on and off the ice. But they’re at different points in their careers, and both men will have to decide what they value most."

Did I reread it? Yes

POV: 3rd person limited, alternating between Lane Courtnall and Jared Shore

Tropes: Rivals, Age Gap, Emotional Scars

My thoughts:

Characters/Character Development: 3/5

Lane: Lane is a 20-year-old character that I imagine you either love or hate; I happen to love him. He is absurdly charming, with about no people skills and the charisma to make up for it. He is autistic-coded, and the best part about him is that no one ever asks him or wants him to change. His own character arc is unrelated to any shortcomings of his own, instead following the tense relationship between himself and his parents.

Jared: Jared is a hardened 32-year-old who has seen the ugly side of hockey and is learning to live with it. He’s slightly grouchy and generally rough around the edges, except when it comes to Lane. His character arc revolves around self-acceptance and a difficult family.

Overall, the character development is… okay. We see some changes in the characters, but not much. Lane’s own arc is mostly glossed over and left to the background, and it doesn’t really involve any personal growth as opposed to the growth of the people around him. Jared’s own changes are so incredibly internal that at times it is hard to believe anything is actually influencing them. However, the characters themselves (both main and side) all have very solidly fleshed out personalities that are easy to distinguish and charming. At times, they can be a bit of caricatures, but they are still decently developed.

Believability (Hockey): 5/5

This book specifically follows the ECHL, with accurate depictions of what that means for the characters. The team names themselves are fake, but the structure of the games and league is very real. I can’t exactly say what an ECHL locker room really looks like, nor can I speak on the true personalities on and off the ice of players, but I imagine it could be pretty close to this. Is it a little idealized? Sure. But this is fiction, and I think it’s okay to make things a little better than they probably would be, so long as it’s near the realm of believability.

Believability (Plot): 2/5

This plot is enjoyable, but I didn’t quite believe it. We basically follow two rival teams, yet I’ve been to high school football games with more animosity. I adore happy endings in my romance books, as I’m sure we all do, but I think that anywhere in a book it is important for characters to struggle, and you don’t see much of that here. Additionally, we’ve got a story where everything all works out without really any work done from the characters. Couple in with that an immigration that is way too quick and easy, and you’ve got a book that’s just on the wrong side of realistic.

Uniqueness: 4/5

Every hockey book is going to be at least a little bit similar, so it’s important to look for details you don’t see in other stories. Here, we’ve got our focus on the ECHL, which goes against the common “top in their sport” theme of sports books. The characters have personalities that you don’t come by in many books, especially Lane. Some of the plot points are pretty common in other books, but there’s only so many ways you can write a romance book.

Trope Integration: 2/5

I love the tropes that we see in this book; however, they are criminally under-utilized. We’ve got a sizable age gap, where one character is in his 30s and another can’t even legally drink, but besides a couple ‘old man’ jokes, it doesn’t really play into the plot at all. They’re both on rival teams, but even the rivalry itself isn’t a factor in the romance. We’ve got traumatized pasts and potentially homophobic parents that don’t impact the relationship and are hardly visible in the characters. They are used as talking points more than anything else, but at least they exist in the story at all.

General enjoyment: 4/5

This book isn’t going to change the world, and that’s okay. I love some of the one-liners, especially the ones we get out of Lane. This book is upfront about what it is and unapologetic. At some points I found the humor to be a bit repetitive, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. I have read this book one time before, and I definitely don’t regret reading it again.

Overall Score: 20/30 or 3.3/5

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.54--Episodes 21-22

I have watched through S5E22; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—*obnoxious sing-song voice* CAPTAIN HOOK IS BA-ACK!!!! *intense screaming*

—The second Zeus told him he was going where he belonged, I just held my breath. And continued to hold it through the entire funeral. What can I say, hope springs eternal! And this time (just this once) my hope was rewarded. Hook is back where he belongs *squee!* at Emma’s side….

—Oh, wait. He’s trapped in a cage with the Charmings and Zelena. Well, at least he’s alive.

—Robin’s death was kinda hard, though. I liked him. He was a goshdarn good guy. And I really feel for Regina. And for Roland.

—When Zelena decided to name her baby Robin, I bawled my eyes out. It’s so sad that Robin Sr. didn’t live long enough to know what her name was.

—I have been waiting forever for Jekyll and Hyde to show up. I just adore that story, it’s absolutely bonkers, and I am beyond thrilled that it actually got into OUAT. My first instinct was, hey, this is totally Jekyll and Hyde, but I couldn’t remember whether or not he physically changed when he switched between the persons, so I was dubious that it would actually turn out. So cool!

—Also, can I mention how much I love Darth Maul? It tracks, I swear. He’s one of the best parts of Star Wars, imo. His story is so complex and he’s enthralling. Which is partially due to his beautiful, beautiful voice—and here’s the track! Sam Witwer is going to be what really sells Mr. Hyde, I can just feel it. So excited!

—Zeus basically looked like the total opposite of what I expected. Which is actually kind of interesting, now that I’ve thought about it. You would expect the ruler of the cosmos to be big and buff and intimidating, but what does it say about his character if he’s kind of small and ordinary-looking? The answer: he must have some kind of charisma or draw to keep people following him. He must have something other than brute strength going for him. Which is kind of interesting.

—*salty* how come Zeus got to wear Greek-style clothes and Hades didn’t?

—Hades’ death was exactly the right kind of anticlimactic. That story got precisely the amount of mileage it needed, no more, no less.

—Zelena killing Hades to protect her sister was poetic. Especially the part where they cried over their dead loves together. And the bit where Zelena realized it was Regina who loved her most? Lovely.

—I still don’t like Zelena, but seeing her and Regina being proper sisters is nice. I think it works so well because they started off with a bunch of animosity, so they’re not going to be the overly touchy-feely variety of siblings that really honk me off. Most of the time, your conversations with your siblings aren’t going to be like Elsa and Anna’s. You’re not gonna spend most of your time hugging your siblings. You’re more likely to just sit in silence or quote memes at each other. Maybe talk about your current fandom-ings. Of course, a lot of people take it too far the other way and have the shallowest possible relationship and takes the teasing and mock-fighting to an extreme. I think Regina and Zelena are going to hit the sweet spot.

—Henry is being stupid. Like, I get that he’s upset about how often his family’s lives get screwed up by magical means, but how did he not stop to wonder if maybe destroying magic would hurt his very magical moms?

—That part of the library in New York with the bunch of storybooks was awesome.

—Rumple being in a regular (if incredibly posh) hotel room is weird. (Just looking at the TV screen I can smell the hotel air. It freaks me way out.)

—I knew Belle’s father would decide to be an arse.

—Emma’s funeral outfit was gorgeous. Semi-masc looks good on her. Suit jacket, button-down…yes yes.

—What’s up with Jules Verne world? Why do Jekyll and Hyde live there? Aren’t those blimp-thingies just the coolest? The answer is yes, they are.

—Also, Dr. Jekyll—or at least I’m 80% sure it’s Dr. Jekyll—is v cute. Bit of similarity to Archie? Yeah. Appearance, not necessarily vibes, although…maybe a little bit of that, too. I want to spend time with Hyde for his voice, which let’s face it is stunning, but Jekyll is just so cute! It’s either ‘dang, I get both!’ Or ‘how can I choose?’ I’m going with the first option. Great voice, cute guy, always one or the other.

[vitospaghetta]

What do you think Leon does outside of work? Like in his free time. How do you picture him living his life?

....also as a side question since i don't delve too much into the lore from OG and remake continuities, i wanted to ask if he has any canon love interests? Simply cuz i wanna create an original character for him so I don't really wanna impose if there's something going on already heh ❤️‍🩹

I actually talked about that a bit in my response here!! If you don't feel like reading that whole post, I said:

As far as what Leon does in his free time, I feel like he enjoys doing things that are out of the house due to the aforementioned inability to stay alone with his thoughts for too long. The man is constantly trying to distract himself to place distance between himself and his trauma, so where he might have been able to sit and watch a movie alone before, he struggles to now. Leon’s very extroverted, likable, and adaptable, so he probably enjoys being around other people, even if he’s not actively talking to them. Though he appreciates silence as well, when he’s kicking things around in his head and is trying to find some semblance of peace and a means to calm the noise. He might get a coffee at a shop right by his apartment where he’s a regular and everyone knows him by name, or go for a run, or go shopping. Maybe he tries to make plans with those he cares about to go out for dinner, like he did with Claire in Infinite Darkness. Maybe he tries to catch a good sunset over the Potomac River. He goes to the gym, he rides his motorcycle around the city or takes a scenic route on the outskirts just for the hell of it, he meets up with a fellow agent and they do shots at his favorite bar. I don’t think he has hobbies, as in crafting or gaming or being too involved in any specific interests, but everything he does is fueled by his love of people, his appreciation for what good he has in his life, and his need for escape.

As for his love interests, the only canonical love interest Leon's ever had is Ada, but that's really only in the OG continuity. He obviously has a lot of animosity towards her in RE4R. Though with Ada in the OG continuity, it's only that he has feelings for her (and it's heavily implied that they had a romantic night together before the events of Damnation), but they're not in a relationship.

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 277, Replies Part 1

1) “Oh right, BNHA. Last time midoriya and his sidekick king of explosionmurder jumped in the fray because they are shonen characters and thus have no sense of self-preservation nor love for their lives. So, let’s jump in, on Chapter 277: Who…?

The Doctor?”- Well, there’s only one doctor nearby, but he’s an asshole, so fuck him. That said, the kids will certainly be needing a doctor after this…

2) “Oh yeah, must be nice meeting each other after so long, right? So good for best friends to meet again… (: “- As intense as this clash is, AFO’s mental coaching and interference means that this still isn’t them truly facing each other as enemies – they’re fighting because both belong to opposite sides of an ongoing war, but the personal animosity that should exist between arch-foes like it did with All Might and AFO just isn’t really there, and can’t be as long as Tomura is targeting Izuku under AFO’s orders…though at least he seems to be trying to break free of his puppet strings of his own free will…

3) “Like said a few moments ago: No sense of self-preservation. Let’s see how many bones are obliterated tonight.”-Spoiler: more than Izuku will be able to afford.

4) “Actually the worst case is you fucking dying, but I’ll let it slide because if Aizawa goes everyone else will soon follow suit, so, same thing.”- Aizawa has been relegated to that anime position of the holy maiden whose presence is the only thing holding back the end of the world through constant prayer or something.

5)“Don’t you know he has two kids and a husband to go back to? He can’t die here, he’s so close to retiring, this is his last job before he’s done with it, etc etc tempt fate as much as you like, because I’m already not so sure Aizawa will live to see the fall of The End”- Aizawa’s super-determined to see the kids all live, which means he’ll put himself in danger as best he can to protect them. Tomura is super-determined to kill everything, which he can’t do as long as Aizawa’s around, and doesn’t give a flying fuck about whatever kind of damage is able to be inflicted upon him so long as he succeed in that goal. It’s not a good combination.

6) “Alright Bakugo, I agree wholeheartedly, but question: Why are you involved then?”- Bakugou is Izuku’s support and current common sense holder, and his massive  powerful explosions are also good for blinding Tomura, or briefly pushing him backwards from a mid-distance without getting close to him, which is still risky even with decay shut off.

7) “ Okay, even with his regeneration off he still isn’t worse for ear after that, and I doubt Bakugo held back on his shots

christ, this will definitely be a nightmare to fight against…”-The regeneration was already a cheat skill, but they went ahead and tried to make him damn near invulnerable on top of that. Thankfully, he can be damaged gradually, but a serious blow will be really hard to inflict unless Izuku goes 100% on him.

8) “Oh wow, what a burn that was when you stop to think about it

but unfortunately I can’t stop to think about it because Midoriya trying to rope Shigaraki just to be yoink’d like it was nothing was hilarious for some reason

oh my god kid”- Tomura’s long moved part the point where he was trying to unsuccessfully convince bakugou to be a villain. Now he’ll just do it himself. And that casual power difference is a great way to display that as much as Izuku is trying to combat him efficiently with his current “max” output, Tomura’s disregard of his own wellbeing has allowed him to reach greater levels of strength much quicker, to the point of casually dragging Izuku along almost without meaning to. Izuku can match him, but not with a safe level of %...

9) “So close to what Shigaraki? To the next yeet? Because certainly it isn’t to kill them, that much is still considerably away from coming to fruition.”- So close to destroying everything, or perhaps close to getting a hang on his new power’s capabilities and how best to fight with his new enhanced Strength. Or perhaps, it wasn’t actually Tomura saying it at that point, but AFO…

10) “Oh yeah Midoriya, unfortunately you haven’t witnessed the bullshit that he pulled so far, but trust them, it was the exact kind of absurdness that your dad would do on his prime.”- AFO wanted the Symbol of Fear to Be All Might’s Opposite and equal in every measure possible, and he spared no expense at achieving that goal.

11) “Yeah Aizawa but unfortunately there’s a shit-ton of super killing bio weapons running amok, I think that not blinking is gonna be a considerably tall order.”- That’s a problem for when they catch up to them. For now, they’ve gotta deal with the major super-killing bio weapon targeting them all directly.

12) “ …

Ooooookay… I’m starting to think that things are about to turn a little weird…

So, since we have a vestige of AfO inside of Shigaraki, the same way that we have them in OfA, can we assume that he can exert enough influence to take over Shigaraki?

Because I reaaaaally think that we’re gonna go down that path soon

We might not even need to get AfO out of tartarus, in a way, he’s already out”-As his mind starts to crack from the mental struggle within, so too does his body begin to break as a reflection of the strain it’s putting on him. We saw beforehand in facing shinso that the vestiges could exert physical control over Izuku’’s body when he himself couldn’t, but because they’re kind, upstanding heroic individuals, they refused to do so more than was necessary that one time. AFO is none of those things.  

In a fitting bastardisation of the Manga’s themes of “Inherited Will” being passed from one generation to the next, teacher to student, when he took on the role of a mentor himself to have Tomura serve his plans, he literally had him inherit his will, and now that will of AFO’s ambitions is running around in a body free of the crippling injuries All Might left on his original….

13) “I have a feeling he is not aiming at just being a whisper and a sigh on the back of your mind

I have a feeling we won’t be seeing you anymore soon enough Shigaraki”- That will depend upon if the will of the next generation is storng enough to overcome the old one. Symbol of Fear vs Symbol of Evil, only one may sit upon the throne. We’ve seen how stubbornly determined Tomura can be before in facing the MLA, and that same willpower is now being tested on a battle on two fronts, mental and physical.

@thelreads

[candywife333]

Baby Boss (Part 3)

Hello guys! Sorry for the wait. Finally out with part 3. I think it will probably need one more part though to wrap it up. Once again thank you for the support. I’m happy to write chubby reader fanfic as I believe it is absolutely necessary to promote self love. And I write fanfics that I want to see written, so I am really having fun with this project and hope to have more out soon. 

Also I’ll open up a tag list for the next part so let me know who wants to be tagged. Just let me know who wants to be tagged in the comments. Feel free to give me feedback and any thoughts you may have on the fic as well.

It was everywhere. The blood was everywhere as Jungkook continued to punch Jin who had already suffered from a nose bleed due to the impact of the first punch he threw. After a minute of remaining in a paralyzed state of shock, I held Jungkook’s arm and dragged him back. “Jungkook, please stop. PLEASE! Just leave it. Don’t fight with him because of me.” Jungkook turned his eyes towards me and with a melancholy gaze, spit out , “I never thought that hyung could act like this towards you. You are one of the dearest friends we have and he should never even have a tongue that’s capable of such insults to your character.” 

Jin lay on the floor in front of the elevator where the fight had taken place. I willed my legs to move as security came through to restrain Jungkook from pummeling him further. As I walked away, I saw Jin stare in my direction without reprieve. It somewhat freaked me out to see his glare as I continued to power walk down the corridor away from him. Whatever love I held for him was squandered to such a pitiful state. How could he say those things about me? What had I ever done to him? I had always supported them and went out of my way to make their lives easier.

He carried so much animosity against me. Enough to slut shame me anyway. But I didn’t want to do this anymore. It was the breaking point. Good looks and a good image could only get a person so far in my estimation. I couldn’t continue to give a hopeless love to a fool who refused to see it. And apparently went out of his way to put me down. I will never have a relationship, or even a mere acquaintance who decides to diminish my self respect. I may not be the prettiest girl in the world, but I won’t tolerate bad behavior just because the world thinks that's all I deserve.

So, I decided to change. Clearly I went after the wrong type of guy because I didn’t put myself up in the rank of things that were important. I had to make myself a priority from now on. That’s when I slowly started to evolve. I still worked like a race horse, but refused to do overtime. Sun Hye barked with a twinkle in her eye, “What is going on y/n? Starting to date? Is that why you are leaving sharply on the dot. You used to help your Unnie out a little more.” I stuttered out, “No, u-unnie not at all. I just wanted to take my health and studies more seriously. So I’m starting to work out and cook in my dorm room instead”. 

“That’s wonderful baby. You are already a beautiful woman, but I am happy you're making lifestyle changes. Want me to introduce you to some boys for blind dates eventually? I know you’re a bit reticent, but enough of this self-imposed single hood.” I gave a weak chuckle and brief nod, as I remarked, “Alright unnie. I will let you know when I’m ready.”  She smiled warmly as I made my way back home at 5 PM so I could use the gym at my college. I had decided that I was going to work out for the sake of my health and have self care Saturdays where I went to salon and then shopping. 

I had been making progress with eating health and working out which had unfortunately made me decline the movie nights with the boys. Honestly, I loved the boys but I knew I had to put distance between them and me. I needed to branch out beyond this circle because I had come to the stark realization that they were idols and I, a temporary employee. They would entertain me to an extent and then probably get bored. Jin was right in the sense that, maybe I was using them as a crutch. Maybe I was interacting too much with them so much so that I would never dare to venture out socially beyond them.

After the debacle in the elevator, I really wanted to stop having one-sided loves. I wanted somebody to love me back and find my attractive. I bought some new clothes, clothes that were not necessarily in trend but ones that flattered me. Beautiful A-line skirts, flowery feminine blouses, flowy dresses and some basics like lipgloss and mascara (all I could afford for the time being in terms of makeup). I decided that I wanted to look good for myself, make my life more interesting so that for once I would feel like the main character. Not a sidekick. Not a comedic overture. Or a brief interlude. None of that. Not anymore.

In essence, I got a life. Yet, I didn’t realize that these changes were making waves at HYBE.

   Sun Hye walked into work the next morning, to find her faithful little Baby Boss, typing away at what seemed to be her thesis. She would have sat down at gotten to work also, if she was not shocked at her Baby’s attire. Baby Boss sported a baby pink mini skirt with a red flowery blouse littered with cherry blossoms and red platform heels. Baby had on burgundy lipgloss and highlighter. FreAKin HIGHLIGHTER!!! Since when had baby looked so scrumptious? Even Sun Hye was having a sexual identity crisis staring at Baby’s thick thighs as she stood up to get some coffee. Baby had unconsciously metamorphosed to  a BABE!!!

“Y/N, who the fuck did you become?!!Don’t you know not to scare your Unnie like that. I don’t even have proper life insurance if you murder me with your VISUALS!!” Baby Boss turned around to look at Sun Hye, and Sun Hye froze even further as she got a glimpse of Baby’s toned legs and finally noticed the square neckline that revealed beautiful cleavage. Sun Hye sputtered “Baby, if you walk around blasphemously like this. You won't be single by the end of today. What witchcraft is this?!!” 

Y/N smiled, happy that her clothes and workout routine were paying off. She had only lost a moderate amount of weight, about 5 pounds while working out for 3 months consistently. But she was happy with how she looked and that showed in the clothes she decided to wear and her confidence levels. Even the guys at college were shocked when she walked in with her airy mini skirts and modest cleavage. She was still an amazing student, but paired with her beauty, she was getting hit on quite a bit. 

Y/N didn't know what to do with the sudden attention, so she ended up ignoring it for the most part. She wanted to gain more self confidence and self love before she dated. She wanted to attract the right people, and to do that she would need to have a strong self esteem so she was treated right in a relationship. “Unnie, I just wanted to improve myself. I am doing this for myself, not for anybody else.” Sun Hye started crying as she whimpered, “My poor Baby, I’m so happy for you. You have come a long way from wearing baggy clothes to hide yourself.” 

Y/N smiled gleefully and decided to walk upstairs so that she could get a slice of blueberry cheesecake in HYBE’s cafe as it was her cheat day. As Baby ventured upstairs, she didn’t notice that BTS was inside the cafe already to purchase coffee before dance practice. They had all missed Y/N and had wondered why she had stopped hanging out with them. She wasn’t around them, and according to Sun Hye (who they had ambushed prior), “she was focusing more on school work and so had reduced her working hours to 4-5 hours a day to work on her thesis”. 

Working my foot, Jungkook thought in despair. She was such a fluffy wonderful friend who always comforted him and gave him advice. She always managed to calm him down and after the fiasco at the elevator he had not talked to Jin for a whole week in anger at his actions. Jin had started to feel remorseful, but when the other BTS members came to know about his insults, they all froze him out for a while. That’s not how they treated staff or friends, especially such a good friend as Y/N. Even Suga, the cold hearted rock had missed her as she would always listen to his music and let him know her honest opinion. RM had been deprived of her shrewd marketing suggestions and laughter. They all missed her horribly. She was such an important part of their lives, as a friend and staff.

      To this day, they still didn't know why Jin had said such horrendous things to her. Just as they sat down to have their drink, Jimin noticed a girl walk in. She had on fire truck red platform heels and such a scrumptious figure framed in a pink miniskirt and floral top. As his eyes made the slow descent to her face, he choked on his coffee and almost dropped his drink. “WHAT THE HELL?! Y/N? IS THAT YOU?!” 

       The members, confused at Jimin’s reaction and the excess of coffee spilled on the table, looked in the direction turned to. All their brains froze instantaneously as they realized who it was they were looking at. It was Y/N!!! She looked so lovely and her thick beautiful thighs shimmered in the light of the cafe along with her glossy lips. Her collar bones peeked out teasingly as the tops of her boobs framed the blouse. She shyly replied, “Um, Hi guys. It’s good to see you guys after a while. I’ve been quite busy unfortunately.” As she made her way to their table for a brief chat, they all stared at her beauty in silence.

         Taehyung thought to himself, she looked so kissable. Her lips, her cleavage, and her fluffy legs. He still thought of her as a squishy friend, but she had transformed so suddenly. She was a complete goddess. Jin squeaked in surprise, as she bent forward to pat Jungkook on the head as he clutched his cup even tighter. 

        Even Jimin and Yoongi who didn’t really react, had opened and closed their mouths like fish at the beauty in front of them. They had all thought of Y/N as a close friend , but now she had went out and became a vixen. What the hell were they going to do with Jin? Both of them had a suspicion that Jin liked her, but did not know how to deal with his jealousy. So, he ended up insulting her. 

       Out of everyone, Jin stared at Y/N in shock the most. She was utterly beautiful, transcendent, a queen. She looked so delicious and the skin of her thighs and décolletage so edible. He might sound like a simp and cannibal, but that's what she had turned him into. Honestly,  as her squishy, covered self she had made him jealous even though he didn’t consciously know that it was jealousy . He hated that everyone was closer to Y/N than him. But now, even more so. Y/N smiled at them unaware and walked to the bakery section to get herself some cheese cake. As she bought a slice, the new baker, Michael smiled at her, “A pretty cake for a pretty lady”. Y/N blushed and retorted back playfully, “Thank you Michael. That’s really kind of you.”

         As Michael held her gaze, and replied, “Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me tomorrow night? You are so devastatingly beautiful, I would like to get to know you.” If Jin was jealous before, he was now seething in envy as he heard the conversation. How dare this baker steal his Y/N? It was unfathomable. As Y/N reached over the counter on her tippy toes to get the cake, all his breathing ceased. He could see her round ass and thick thighs even better from here as she stretched. Y/N shocked at Michael’s proposition, decided she might as well try to going on a date even if it wasn’t serious. She replied , “Sure Michael, see you tomorrow then.” 

      This made Jin even angrier. She was his chubby Princess, who he had unfortunately treated really badly. But he had to win her back. As Y/N strutted out with her cheesecake, he stared at her in desperation. Yoongi noticed Jin’s expression and with a raised eyebrow, quipped, “Too late big boy. If you thought she was getting attention then, now she will get asked out at every turn. Your stupidity is your downfall. It’s not even middle school any more for you to act like a bully to someone you like.”

       Jin’s heart was almost ready to burst in envy and something in his trousers was also ready to burst. But that was a story for another day. He had to get Y/N back somehow. He just didn’t know how he would do it. 

[rishi-eel]

thinking (yet again!) about the differences between the bad batch story reels and the season seven arc and like... some changes just blow my mind because all it did, really, was make the bad batch less likable.  

lets star with the whole “reg” thing. if i remember correctly, in the originals “regs” is said twice. the first instance is by crosshair when taunting jesse in the LAAT. the second is said by hunter: he tells tech (who’s hacking into the cyber center) that he and wrecker are going to “go get the regs” (i.e. rex and jesse). that is, hunter only used it among his squad when the others were not present (much like how cody informs that the bad batch are defective clones out of earshot. these words are descriptors, but there’s also an offense associated to being referred to by them). the idea that hunter has restraint referring to regular clones this way in their faces connects, i think, to how hunter was a tad more apologetic to jesse in the original script. “he means regular clones. don’t take it personal. it’s just that we don’t always follow protocol” carried an actual sense of hunter trying to convince jesse that it’s nothing to do with him.   

it’s interesting, i think, that in a context where you have clones and defective clones, that the bad batch (as defective clones) would find a way to talk about other clones in reference to themselves in a way that normalizes their own existence. it also introduces the idea that the bad batch experience a level of disconnect, and even animosity, in regards to other clones. all that can be conveyed by only using the word twice. the season seven episodes added three more instances, and in all of them the bad batch members comfortably throw the word around the clones who “are regs.” the sense of separateness (which, again, was already established/achieved by using it just two times) is only made stronger (thus more needs to be done to portray a sense of reconciliation or coming together. the reels succeed this to an extent because that barrier wasn’t built up as high). 

so yeah in the original... wrecker didn’t say “we always get shot down when we travel with regs,” he kept quiet as he helped people out of the wrecked gunship (in fact, wrecker lost a lot of subtlety going from the reels to the final eps, which i’ll get back to). hunter didn’t fake-compliment rex with a “not bad, for a reg”! and oh boy crosshair’s comment implying that echo is worthless and expendable because he’s a “reg”... yeah that was not in the reels either. in fact, not only does crosshair not call echo a reg, the meaning of his original dialogue was completely different.

in the original, after hunter voices his suspicions echo might be dead, crosshair suggests that if alive echo could be cooperating with the enemy, making him a traitor. rex takes this as an attack on echo’s character and crosshair explains that no, he’s not intending to insult echo, by saying: “oh i don’t blame him, if i were left for dead, i wouldn’t be so loyal.” and like!!!!! that’s such a radically different line of dialogue because crosshair seems to blame rex for having left echo behind, actually. if you betrayed the republic to survive, or even out of spite, i don’t blame you even if you now present a threat to myself and my family, is such an interesting, empathetic sentiment. and that contrasts with the lack of regard given to rex, making it read like he’s condemning rex for leaving someone behind. crosshair doesn’t seem to understand, as an experimental commando clone, the pressures rex as a legion captain is under, because he’s seen a less expandable (they’re a specially trained four man team, if one dies that’s 25% of the unit gone. is there a replacement for that member? you get the idea). so you’ve got a clash between different povs, but also crosshair being shown as having a set of morals, chief among them being that you do not leave anyone behind. so remember when rex says to move out and crosshair goes “commander cody is in no position to move” yeah i’d say that’s crosshair making sure cody isn’t being left behind. when crosshair saves anakin? that’s because he saw anakin go off on his own and followed him. because you don’t leave people behind. and like... the idea that yeah crosshair is an asshole. he’s unpleasant and that’s deliberate. he doesn’t care if people like him and he’s not trying to be liked. but that he values the lives of other people and looks out for them? that makes an interesting, flawed and multifaceted character. that got lost in the dialogue change because its no longer suggested that crosshair holds these values.

as for what i said earlier about wrecker: he lost subtle, nonverbal moments through the addition of lines that are either anticlimactic or only serve to make him seem loud or ditzy in an exaggerated fashion. he didn’t laugh when the LAAT came down. he was quiet as he helped people out of the downed gunship (no comment about regs!). he didn’t say “boom” when the ship exploded in the background after he flipped it over (the difference? a character moment that’s actually cool and impressive vs something that’s corny). when wrecker comes to crosshair’s aid by picking rex off of him, there was no quippy one liner. there was no need for anything to be said for it to be understood that wrecker is acting as a barrier and it trying to intimidate rex. when he’s afraid to get onto the elevator? that’s conveyed visually through camera angles and through hunter picking up on the fact that he’s scared. he doesn’t scream (if you can call a comical “aah what is that thing oh no its going to get me” a scream) when the organic decimator almost gets him. when they walk across the pipe? wrecker doesn’t whimper or talk to himself for comfort. he is scared of heights, that’s already been established, but he’s also a grown man and a soldier like he’s keeping that to himself? like we see wrecker hesitating to walk on the ledge but doing it anyway because he has to. in a piece of dialogue that was cut, tech said “does anyone want to know the odds of us making it across alive?” to which wrecker (who’s you know already having a bad time) interrupts with “don’t even think about it, tech” (if ur curious, this exchange was replaced with: wrecker: “keep walking tech!” tech: “that’s fine, but if you fall don’t take me with you” which???? uuh weird exchange). also, the fact that wrecker was mostly dealing with his fear silently means that when hunter tells wrecker to hold on because they’re almost there... that’s because hunter knows he’s scared and is checking up on him. basically... any kind of serious moment was cheapened by having wrecker talk in them. now i don’t want to say that DBB is a bad voice actor, but his expertise is making animal noises. he’s not able to do a realistic, deep voice, meaning that whenever wrecker talks he kind of sounds like a joke. it’s fine when wrecker is actual being lighthearted and jokey, but otherwise? the emotion just does not come across as genuine, which breaks the stakes or weakens credibility.  

and god the whole plot point about the bad batch being suspicious of echo was nonexistent in the reels. the “don’t worry, echo says he’s got a plan”/”that makes me feel so much better” exchange between rex and tech is in the original, but tech’s sarcasm isn’t from doubting echo’s allegiance, it’s because they’re planning to land on admiral trench’s ship and echo having a plan (that he himself doesn’t know) doesn’t exactly soothe his anxieties. rex acts like tech’s being a big joker and playfully shoves him, telling him to get on board. which is an interesting interaction because these characters are kind of starting to bond?? as for tech and echo, they kinda become nerdy friends really quick. like when tech warns echo not to send the signal right away because he first needs to make it look like it’s coming from skako minor, echo’s like “oh yeah good thinking tech.” and when echo figures out a way to shut down all the droids at once tech is impressed and lightly shoves his shoulder. again there is none of that “oooh maybe echo’s a traitor maybe he’s with the techno union” shit. like i understand that the writers wanted to up the stakes but it falls flat because the idea of echo being a traitor isn’t credible. it does not seem like an actual risk or possibility. so all it did was make the bad batch seem like assholes, cutting away at some very nice character moments.   

ok this is a long post and you might ask yourself “but tumblr user rishi-eel, why do you care so much about the story reels, this stuff isn’t canon now” and there are a couple reasons, first, i think it managed to tell a better story overall. so the question is: why is that? because you would expect that writers reworking the plot would add improvements and not downgrades. and to be fair, the s7 episodes had a bunch of upgrades, but not when it came to the characterization of the bad batch. another thing to consider is that changes were made in the context of setting the bad batch up as future protagonists of their own spinoff series (something the original arc was not intended to do because there were no plans for a bad batch series). were the characters made flatter and more archetypal to add to marketability? was the reg/defective clone rivalry (and dichotomy, even) amplified because this separateness serves a narrative in which the bad batch are heroes and the other clones villains?  

[chihomichannel]

i wish you all the happiness in the world

| pairing: oikawa tooru x short female! reader | summary: In which you loved each other for all this time but timing was never on your side | genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, kinda smut but not really | warnings: MANGA SPOILERS, cursing, alcohol, NOT EDITED ‘cause i’m tired | word count: 6964 words | a/n: hi hi! this is my first haikyuu ff. hope you like it! ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ i have to say though, i’m not really satisfied with this smh. it’s more like a summary of an entire fanfic i’ve thought for oikawa siiigh. this also was kinda rushed by the end ‘cause i wanna post it already jhbksdjna

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You treasure your time back in childhood. Whenever you think back to those days, you would be reminded of the times you spent with Oikawa and Iwaizumi by your side. Still young and ignorant to the world other than your own little bubble, you played around and made memories that even years later, you could still remember what you felt back then. What it felt like to pull on your sister’s hair and the terror that went with it, what it felt like to accidentally injure yourself after you tried copying that one commercial you saw on TV, what it felt like to trip over your own feet as you dived head first to receive a ball for the first time - and with all those times of stupidity and utter fun, Oikawa and Iwaizumi was always there. You don’t even remember the first time you met them. All you knew was that they were already a part of your life for as long as you could remember.

You and Oikawa are next-door neighbors and Iwaizumi lives just right around the corner by the end of the street. For everyday that passed by, you three were always joined at the hips. You can’t even remember a time in your childhood that you weren’t with either of the two. Or maybe it was because it was so long ago that you don’t remember everything now that you’re a bit older.

But a distinct memory of Oikawa forcing both you and Iwaizumi’s pinkies to his as he shouted in promise “Someday, we’ll make it all to nationals!” Nationals. What a fancy word for such young dreamers.

But hence, when you reached the age of kindergarten, your parents made it a mission and a promise to always, always enroll the three of you in the same school. They thought your friendship was cute and special. Even everyone in the neighborhood found your little group endearing. They could never imagine one without the other two or either of the bunch. You would always be three and that would never change. At least that was the ideal reality that everyone imagined for you three.

Though that ideal friendship remained true for years and years. But in your final year of middle school, that was when everything shifted its course.

It was when Oikawa and you were alone in between the two gyms that separated the boy’s volleyball team and the girl’s volleyball team. You were a setter, a genius setter. And during that time, you didn’t know the animosity Oikawa held towards genius volleyball players. So when he told you “You’re a really great setter” And with the small smile accompanied by those fluttering words, a great wave of pride swelled in your chest to hear such a comment from such a great setter, a tinge of pink painted across your cheeks.

You let out a small shy “Thank you” Your eyes stuck on the ground with your hair hiding your reddening cheeks. You didn’t notice the slight quirk in the corners of his smile. Too busy with your head in the clouds, you failed to notice the envy that flashed through his dark chocolate-brown eyes.

While you were busy pining over your new realized feelings, Oikawa was also busy over his conflicting feelings for you. You were his friend, his best friend along with Iwaizumi. So why does he harbor so much jealousy towards you? It was him who got you into volleyball in the first place. It was him who dragged you out of bed every morning for as long as he could remember just to play volleyball. But seeing you do so much better than him, even when he would never face you on the court, he couldn’t help but feel insecure in your presence.

He thinks he could do more, be better and surpass every living genius in the world of volleyball. He wants to be the best. He needs to be much much better. And with the green-eyed monster controlling his need to be the best, without knowing it, he held a resentment against you.

And you, none the wiser of your friend’s bitterness towards you, you found more reasons to be around Oikawa more. More than you already do. Which to be honest did not help calm the growing storm Oikawa harbors in his heart. You always just seem to be everywhere and seeing you always reminds him of what he’s lacking. Feelings of guilt, envy and your sudden overwhelming presence is what drove him to finally snap. To finally pull the trigger and kill whatever’s left of his fondness towards you.

Iwaizumi had told you that Oikawa has been pushing himself much more than normal. Oikawa has been losing his cool and Iwaizumi has explained the pressure, the constant need to be better and the inferiority Oikawa feels towards players like Kageyama and Ushijima. But neither you nor Iwaizumi knew you were one of those Oikawa felt inferior to.

So one late afternoon, the sun has set and the sky is minutes away from dark. Hours after classes were dismissed and the rest of the players had been sent home, you entered the boy’s volleyball gym alongside Iwaizumi to see that Oikawa is still hell-bent on practicing.

You frowned. You could see how exhausted he was but still, he stood on his two feet, determined. Before you could even call out his name, Kageyama caught your attention as he made his way to his senior “Oikawa-san, please teach me how to serve”

As if something inside him snapped in half, Oikawa’s hand flew towards Kageyama only for Iwaizumi to catch his arm in time “Get a grip you moron!” Stunned silence echoed through the gym, only heavy breaths and wide eyes spoke volumes of what just happened. “I’m sorry” Oikawa relaxed and Iwaizumi let him go. But his eyes, he was just as shocked with his actions as much as everyone was.

“Kageyma, I’m sorry but we’re done for the day” Iwaizumi’s spoke and with that, Kageyama walked away, eyeing Oikawa warily as he passed him by.

“Tooru?” Your voice caught his attention. You being there sent him in overload and before he could stop himself, before Iwaizumi had the chance to stop the words that flew out of Oikawa’s mouth, he snapped once again. But this time, there was no stopping it.

“You!” He bellowed, you flinched “I hate you! I hate you and your presence and everything that is you!”

“Huh?” “Wha-? OI!”

“-Why are you always everywhere? Why do you have to be a part of my life? You’re always in my eyes! You’re always there and I am sick of it!” Oikawa huffed, tears brimming on his eyes. You’re already crying.

“You like me don’t you?” 

He knows

“-Well I don’t like it! Stay away from me will you! You overwhelm me!”

He knows

You clenched your hand, shaking.

“-WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SETTER?!” With a frustrated cry, Oikawa dropped to his knees and suddenly, you realize.

‘He hates me’ You thought. You didn’t even dwell as to why when you ran out the gym. You heard Iwaizumi call out your name but you ignored him and ran. You ran and ran until your lungs forced you to stop, tumbling down to your knees as you sobbed in the empty road under the street light.

You can’t understand for the life of you. Had you been mean to him? Have you done something wrong? Or is it because he knows you like him and he doesn’t feel that way towards you. Maybe you made him uncomfortable. His mother doesn’t really help as she always gushes about how you should be her future daughter-in-law. You had overwhelmed him and now he hates you.

It was only the night before Monday did you remember what he last told you.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SETTER?”

‘Ah’ you thought as you realized the roots of his new found resentment towards you.

Oikawa has always been ambitious and successful at whatever he sets his mind into. But he was no genius and his skills were practiced, it did not come naturally. You remembered those times he ranted about Ushijima and how unbelievably strong he is. And Kageyama and how he’s younger yet so much better than he is. And then there’s you.

He had never complained about you. Or at least none that you knew about. You should have realized when people started calling you a genius. You should have noticed the change of his demeanor towards you. How he doesn’t smile genuinely anymore. How you weren’t actually friends anymore. 

You didn’t love volleyball and maybe that’s one of the reasons why he hates you. Or maybe that’s the exact reason why. You don’t even love it yet you’re so good at it. No wonder he was frustrated about you. He’s not just envious about your skills, he’s also frustrated to see you obtain something he wants when you’re only half-hearted into the game. It was a reminder that no matter how hard he pushed himself, there would always be some genius that would trample over his hardened efforts.

You couldn’t believe how fast you could go from liking someone to hating them the next.

You avoided him after that incident. You avoided him like the plague. You still talk to Iwaizumi though but not as much as before. You distanced yourself from them and before you knew it, you had graduated.

Over the summer, that was when people noticed the shift in the dynamic of your friendship. The three became two and you’re now only one. You don’t leave your house, not even when Iwaizumi called out your name for an hour because you knew Oikawa would be there.

Oikawa did not make any effort to reconcile with you and it annoyed you to no end. It was always Iwaizumi acting as the mediator but eventually, even he gave up. It was tiring to force two people to reconcile when neither party wanted anything to do with the other.

It doesn’t mean Oikawa didn’t feel guilty. His guilt was one of the reasons why he exploded and it was also guilt that made him ashamed of facing you. You were a precious friend, a childhood friend, a person who’s known him for so long. A person who knows him better than his family and yet he pushed you away. 

And now you won’t come back.

At the opening ceremony in high school, he waited for you. He thought that he would make peace with you. Apologize once and for all. You were already in high school for god’s sake. You had let the whole summer wash away the broken pieces of your friendship with no way of reconciliation. You had wasted a whole summer and Oikawa’s determined to bring everything back to where it was. Even if it meant to pick up all the pieces of the broken fragments of your strained friendship. He would do so. Because you’re precious to him, more than you nor he could understand.

But you never came. And at once, all that courage and determination in him was also washed away.

You went to Karasuno for high school and swore your soul to the gods that exist that you would never ever step foot into a volleyball court ever again. You had decided to quit on volleyball. Sure, you were a genius at it but you didn’t love it. At least not as much as some people you know. But that promise was also thrown away when Sugawara, a classmate, begged you to be their manager.

He was resolute and you were annoyed. And so you rejected his offer. Though that did not stop him from pestering you, begging you down to his knees which is why you found yourself watching a practice match held in the school’s volleyball gym.

‘They’re weak’ You thought. You didn’t really care as you watched the team pathetically lost. You could not stress enough the difference in power between your school and the away team. It was truly and utterly pitiable.

You had heard about the tale of the once powerhouse that is Karasuno and you wondered what happened. You learned that your school had once managed to make it to the nationals so why is the team so weak now? No coach, no manager, just players.

You were already leaving, indifferent to your school’s volleyball team when your ears perked up on an insult, an insult that sent you to overdrive and before you knew it, you were screaming. You screamed at your school’s team. You screamed a vow, a vow to get them to nationals once again. And so beyond your belief, you were on the court once again. Though this time, you were only at the side.

It was in the Interhigh Tournament did you and Oikawa look at each other once again. His eyes were wide while yours was determined, glaring at him as if challenging him. He knew of your abilities and how well you could use that to coach others. He knew you could use that to examine opponents and use that knowledge against them. You were a genius that way. And so seeing you in the opponent’s team as their manager made him nervous. Just because you were a manager doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to help the team technically.

But how can you help a team that doesn’t want your help in the first place? It was only you and your other fellow first years that were bitter when you lost in the first round. Your seniors seemed to accept that your team just wasn’t good enough. And the frustration sent you to silent tears as you questioned your decision of being involved in volleyball again.

And Oikawa, being the ever jackass that he is, used the opportunity to tease you. An excuse to talk to you. And imagine the delight he felt when you gave him the attention. And so started the rivalry you never imagined you would have with him.

You thought that maybe if he hadn’t chosen to tease you that day, you would’ve quit the volleyball club. And maybe if he hadn’t teased you that day, you would have probably never talked again.

Three years passed and it was your last year at high school. With the addition of promising first years, you faced off against Aoba Johsai in the Spring Interhigh Qualifiers. Karasuno won and would face off Shiratorizawa for the finals. You should be glad, ecstatic even. So why are you sad? Why are you mourning for your childhood friends’ loss? Why won’t you look away from the opponent and celebrate with your team?

But how could you when you could see the two special people in your life fight off the tears that threatened to stream down their eyes. And the night after Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa, you thought ‘Nationals’ 

You were the only one who made it to Nationals. And you weren’t even a player.

The thought of that stupid childhood promise left a bitter taste on your mouth.

๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

The high of the nationals died down once it was over and you and your fellow third years now focus on studying for the finals and upcoming university entrance exams. It was dismissal time and having no volleyball club activities any more, you head straight home, parting ways with Sugawara at the intersection.

You sighed. The sky is orange with hues of pink, purple and blue painting the sky gradient. You had arrived by your house’s gate when you heard the ruckus of voices. Male voices. So you turn and lo and behold, it was Oikawa, Iwaizumi and number 2 and 3 from what you could remember.

They turn to look at you and their ruckus dies down. You turned your back at them, already opening the gate when Iwaizumi called out your name. You turn your focus back at them “Would you mind tutoring us?”

“Please, she’s bad at math” Oikawa commented. You felt a nerve pop out of your neck “You bitch, you suck at everything but volleyball!”

“Excuse me, I’m in class 6-” “Doesn’t matter”

Iwaizumi could only sigh as Matsukawa and Hanamaki watched in amusement. ‘So you’re the famous childhood friend’ they thought.

You and Oikawa stared down at each other, neither backing down. For added effect, you crossed your arms which earned a snort from the setter “Please?” Iwaizumi pleaded. With a sigh, you looked at your friend “Fine. I’ll just tell mom first”

Why did you accept? You didn’t know. But you knew you didn’t mind being around Oikawa now. Though you don’t really trust him, not anymore.

Your mom was surprised to hear you would be going to Oikawa’s house. It’s been years and she could not hide the glee on her face as she practically pushed you out of the house. With a deep breath, you made your way to his house.

The door opened to his mother who, like your mom, albeit a bit more enthusiastic, was ecstatic beyond relief at the sight of you. She asked you continuously without giving you any chance to reply “Did you finally make up? Are you friends again? You’re talking again? How splendid! Why did you stop talking in the first place? I was so sad. I missed you so dearly. It wasn't the same without you”

She kept on beaming and you only replied in awkward chuckles, not wanting to kill her joy and tell her you still very much held a grudge against her son. But fortunately, she left you to the company of the four boys who sprawled all around the couch, bags thrown at the side with the television on in a music channel. A girl group is performing.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be studying?”

“Shh, Miho-chan is singing” Oikawa held a finger on his lips. You could only grimace at their focus on the girl group. Maybe you should go now.

But before you could even turn around, Iwaizumi had turned off the TV much to the boys’ protests “Fanboy later you horny scumbags”

“You know I’m here, right?” You say and Iwaizumi sent you an apologetic smile.

“You don’t count as a girl anyway so it doesn’t really matter” You felt your heart drop at Oikawa’s comment. You frowned, dropping your books down on the coffee table with a slam. The three boys jumped, startled. They were sitting down on the floor when you did that.

With a huff, you sat down at the end of the table while Matsukawa and Hanamaki sat beside each other and across from them sat Oikawa and Iwaizumi “So-” You cleared your throat as they looked at you in synchrony “-what is it you need help in?”

๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

You looked up to the digital clock hanging on the wall. 8:47 pm, it read “Aren’t you guys gonna go home?”

Oikawa is fast asleep on the coffee table, head resting in his arms. Matsukawa has given up on his practice test and Hanamaki sat spaced out. It was only Iwaizumi whose focus is still on his notes. Even you gave up 15 minutes ago, feeling your head ache as the words start swirling incoherently in your mind.

You received a hum of reply, everyone focused on their own little worlds. You sighed, closing your book and tucking in the notes in your bag in a hurry. You stood up, groaning at the ache that has built up on your legs from hours of sitting. The others noticed this and copied your actions, slowly standing up and slinging their bags on their shoulders “You all should rest for the day. Just continue tomorrow”

Iwaizumi did not budge from his position and you walked out of the living room to the front door, Matsukawa and Hanamaki hot on your heels. Once you were outside, you were about to bid them goodbye when Hanamaki beat you to it “Hey, I’ve been thinking. Why didn’t you go to Seijoh?”

Matsukawa hit Hanamaki in the back of his head, earning a hiss from the latter “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that”

“Why? Did they talk about me?” Your smile was sad it could come off as a frown. The two boys looked at you sheepishly and you chuckled, turning away from them as you unlocked your gate “We’ve heard the three of you were close and that something happened. They didn’t really elaborate. You’re a really touchy subject” This made you laugh

“Damn” You turned back around to face them to see that they’re still on the same spot, waiting for your response. But you only gave them half a smile, bid goodbye and entered your house.

The next day, you slept through your alarm. Only waking up when your mother woke you up with a screech. And so you skipped on breakfast, snatching a biscuit from the top of the refrigerator and dashed out of your house. Only to be met with Oikawa getting on his bike, obviously late like you are.

“Shouldn’t you be at morning practice?” “Shouldn’t you know that 3rd years don’t go to practice anymore?” You rolled your eyes.

“Geez, how could I know? I don’t go to your school, dumbass” Oikawa pedaled to match your pace “You sound like Iwa-chan, chibi-chan~”

You held your tongue, though your frown failed to conceal your annoyance. Oikawa gazed at you, pursing his lips as you refused to look at his way “Hop on, chibi-chan. No matter how fast you go, you’ll still be late with those tiny legs of yours”

“Can you shut up?!” “What? Is that your best retort? How lame~” You kicked the wheel of his bike sending him trembling out of balance “Hey!”

You huffed. You did not sign up for so much annoyance so early in the morning. You groaned, head looking up at the sky in exasperation when Oikawa blocked your way “Please, please get hit by a truck” Oikawa looked offended

“Ouch, chibi-chan. Just hop on already, you know I’m right” He gave you a grin which only aggravated you more “No”

“Don’t be so stubborn, little girl” “I am not little” “Your height says otherwise” “I’ll kill you!”

Both of you were locked out of the gate that day.

Your review with the four boys continued everyday after school. As well as your morning walk to the school being bombarded by Oikawa. When he learned what time you go to school, Oikawa made it his mission to walk with you. Always biking at your pace as he ranted on and on much to your dismay. You had begged Iwaizumi to go to school with the two of you since Oikawa doesn’t give any signs of giving up on you. But Iwaizumi only gave you a grunt for a response, mumbling about respecting his sleep.

And came one Friday morning, 2 weeks left of school and 3 days before university entrance examinations. Oikawa is waiting by your gate as always and hopped on at the sight of you “Morning, chi-bi-chan~”

Closing your gate, he waits for you to walk but was pleasantly surprised when you sat on the back of his bike “Huh?”

“Bike” You said and so he did. He began telling a story about Iwaizumi tripping in front of his crush, elaborating on what happened that day. And you, you were uncharacteristically quiet. 

Usually, you’ll banter with him. And so when you called out his name, Oikawa could feel that you were about to say something heavy. So he continued rambling, zoning out your voice and filling the air with his words.

“Tooru” He paused, his heart thundering against his chest. It has been years since he last heard you call him by his name “Yeah?”

“Why are you acting like we’re friends” Oikawa let out a strained smile but you didn’t see

“Damn, that hurts y/n-chan” He said in jest but you could hear the genuine hurt in his voice. Oikawa felt your hand tighten as you clutch on the back of his jacket.

“Tooru-” You leaned your head against his back ‘-it’s weird how this makes me feel happy but hurt’ You thought

“Tooru-” ‘-I’m glad we’re talking again’

Oikawa could feel his heart go erratic, longing for whatever that is on your mind. Voice it out, he thought. Voice it out. But you don’t

“Tooru-” ‘-how come I still like you?’

That night, everyone is staying over at Oikawa’s house except for you. It would be weird considering you’re the only girl and your parents didn’t let you. But here you were, shivering in the cold as you knocked on the window outside Oikawa’s room. He was there because it was him who called you out at 2 in the morning, begging you to come. You shouldn’t have come but you couldn’t really resist him. Not even after all these years. Not even after convincing yourself to move on from him.

You’re whipped and you’re annoyed by it.

‘He’s a jackass’ You think as he holds your hand to support you down ‘He shouted at you. Never apologized, rejected you before you even had a chance to confess. He’s an annoying son of a bitch’

Your heart flutters when you stumble against his chest, Oikawa holding you by the shoulders to steady you “You’re cold” He says, his breath raining down on your hair. His breath was hot and your cheeks turned warm.

You fought the urge to look up at him but when he wrapped a blanket around you, your eyes unconsciously made its way to his face to see he was glowing red despite the darkness of his room.

“The others are in the living room” He says, pulling you down with him on his bed. Shuffling of sheets echoed around the room as Oikawa dived under the blanket. He had his arm under you while his other pulled you to his chest. He kept his arms around you, his chin on your head as you flushed yourself to his chest.

You could feel his heart, beating its way out of his chest. His heart slowly lulling you to sleep. He called out your name. You reluctantly pulled your head away from his chest and looked up at him “Hm?”

Oikawa bite his tongue, mulling over the words in his head. Should he tell you right now? What would your reaction be? He doesn’t want to hurt you again. He doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes. He doesn’t want this moment to stop. For the world to pause and let him hold you close to him.

He thinks it over - deciding he should tell you soon. But not know. Not when your cheeks are red, your half-lidded eyes glossy as you gazed at him longingly. Oikawa leans in, planting a soft kiss to your forehead that tells you exactly what he feels. You could feel yourself shrink under the affection.

You didn’t notice that you fell asleep. Did not know that his eyes scanned every nook and crevices of your face. How beautiful you looked to him. How you would always be the prettiest in his eyes. How he looked at you so utterly and deeply in love it hurts to know that the time is ticking.

Oikawa brushes the strand of hair on your face, pushing it behind your ears in an agonizingly slow pace. He takes his time feeling your skin, placing his lips on your forehead and falls asleep with your warmth wrapped against his.

After that night, you and Oikawa grew more affectionate with each other. Sure, you still banter. That would never change. But there was a shift in the air and you knew there was something in there. But neither of you admitted anything. Still friends but much more than just that. Nothing was official and no one acknowledged the elephant in the room.

And you were glad it was never official. Because after graduation, Oikawa’s mom threw a party for him. A graduation party. A farewell party.

It seems like night brings out the intimacy that the morning shies away. Oikawa had led you to the playground behind your house. You remembered playing here with Oikawa and Iwaizumi, practicing volleyball as always.

You climbed up the slide and sat down at the top, letting your feet dangle on the edge. Oikawa sat beside you, his long legs dangling down beside yours. You studied the difference and smiled to yourself.

“I’m going to Argentina” He says, refusing to look at you. His hands are pulled into a fist, trembling. You placed your hand on top of his, his shaking stops as he finally looks your way “That’s great” You said, and you mean it.

He smiles at you but it doesn’t reach his eyes. So you held his cheeks, head tilting to the side “It has always been your dream, Tooru. I can’t believe it’s finally happening”

“It’ll be hard” You snort “Of course. It’s Argentina dude. Japan is still miles away from their skills” Your eyes glint at that, giving Oikawa a determined smile “But we’ll beat you, just you wait”

“I’ll win first” And he means it. You laugh, hand dropping from his cheeks “I’ll look forward to it”

Oikawa gazes at you with so much adoration in his eyes. You were the only person who didn’t tell him his plans were stupid. And he loves you for that.

“I love you” he was the first to crack. Your cheeks turn red, expression shy at his intense gaze “I-I love you too” You stutter, a bit overwhelmed.

Oikawa chuckles “You’re cute” His words don't really help to die down the red in your cheeks. In fact, it only worsens it “Shut up” You grumble indignantly and he laughs.

“Hey, will you be my girlfriend?” At this, you looked at him with a sad smile.

“We can’t” Oikawa knew your answer before he even asked. But he didn’t expect the pain would hurt that much.

“Can’t we try?” His voice is painful and it broke your heart to see him so broken “Tooru” He looks at you pleadingly and he speaks

“I think I've been in love with you all this time. But to be honest-” He bitterly chuckles “-I was envious of you more than I liked you"

"And that's why it's a no" you smiled sadly.

"You love volleyball, Tooru. More than anything else. More than you. More than me" The atmosphere was somber. Until a thought passed by your mind and you tittered.

"More than milk bread" The both of you giggled.

"Yeah...more than milk bread"

Neither of you moved. Not even when the sun rose from its sleep and in a few hours, he'll leave.

He'll leave.

And you have to let him go. Even though he's right there beside you. So close yet so far away. He's there and he loves you. But for his dreams. For him.

You let him go.

And then he's gone. On the other side of the world, thousands and millions of miles away from you. And you regret the three years that could've been so much more if the two of you hadn't been so stupid and so prideful.

And just like that, years and years passed. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi left abroad and only you stayed. Though you did move to Tokyo and worked at a hospital for a few months until the opportunity to work as an assistant manager and physical therapist for MSBY Black Jackals came up. You could only thank the stars for connections. In this field, you only get a chance if someone in it knows you. And luckily for you, you know a ton of them from your years as a manager back in high school. 

It’s 2021 and 8 years have passed and you remained in contact with Oikawa. Though you don’t talk as much as you two now have your own separate lives. He has volleyball and you have your athletes. And of course, during the course of those 8 years, the both of you had dated several people. Some long term, some not so long. And inside those 8 years, you’ve finally convinced yourself you’ve moved on from Oikawa Tooru.

The olympics is this year and along with Iwaizumi, you were pulled in to be a manager and their physical therapist. You had made quite the reputation in the industry. What with your genius mind for volleyball, opponent teams that know you fear your analytical skills and your ability to use that knowledge for the benefit of your team. Really, all professional volleyball teams want you. It just so happens that it was MSBY Black Jackals that called you first.

Oikawa doesn’t know that you and Iwaizumi are part of the Japan team. And so when his team emerged, ready to face old rivals, Oikawa swore his eyes jumped at the sight of you and Iwaizumi.

Your heart swelled with pride, lips outstretched to a big smile. You’re proud of him, so so much.

You could only yelp when Oikawa sprinted towards you and pulled you and Iwaizumi in a tight hug. It’s been such a long time since you saw each other. And a thought passed by your head.

The three of you didn’t make it all in the nationals, but you sure did all go to the olympics.

When Japan lost and Argentina won, you didn’t find it in yourself to be sad. Instead, you were happy. Ecstatic. Euphoric. You’re so proud of everyone, of your teammates and rivals. To have made it this far, they were truly beyond just amazing.

๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

“You could stay with me” Oikawa says nonchalantly as he takes your bag from your hand, the hubbub of the crowd ringing in your ears as you exit the airport “My car’s right here” He tells you as you near a red sports sedan. Unlocking the car, he placed your bag at the backseat as you sat at the passenger's seat.

You’re in Argentina for the weekend for a seminar for sports physical therapists. Just two days, sure nothing could happen for such a short time.

“Nah, just drive me to a hotel” Oikawa gazed at you mischievously

“What? Afraid I’ll do something?” You threw a box of tissue at him “Shut up bitch” He laughed, taking a seat before starting the car “So you are” 

“Please” You scoff.

You ended up staying at his guest room.

His house is in an apartment - a kitchen, a couch, a TV, a fucking gym, and pictures on the wall. His apartment is surprisingly cozy, you noted. 

You dropped your phone on the bed, collapsing in fatigue. Your eyes were about to flutter shut when Oikawa’s voice boomed in the room “You should shower. Ya stinky from the flight” You rolled your eyes.

You reluctantly pushed yourself out of bed, passing by him and snatching the towel from his hands. You noticed he already changed into a shirt and shorts. You could see the outline of his muscles, lining down his chest. His thighs in view, you tried hard not to stare.

But of course, Oikawa being the ever asshole that he is, comments “Take a picture! It’ll last!”

Once shower was over, you fell down beside him on the couch, the television on in the sports channel. It’s Schweiden Adlers against Azuma Pharmacy Green Rockets. You smiled thoughtfully at the sight of Ushijima and Goshiki on TV.

“What time tomorrow is your seminar again?” Oikawa asks, passing you the milk break from the coffee table. You took it “8 in the morning until 5” He hums, bread down his throat.

“Wanna go out after? My practice ends at the same time” You yawn “Sure”

True to his words, he picked you up from the university 30 minutes after five. Oikawa took you everywhere, to the beach, to a restaurant, to a park, even to a club. Which is probably why he’s dragging your drunk ass to his apartment at 1 am.

You slipped from his arms and landed on the floor with a thud “Shit” You heard him curse under his breath as he hurriedly closed the door behind him. You felt arms curl around yours causing you to giggle “That tingles”

“How can you get drunk from 2 glasses of vodka?” He mused but you only giggled at him. Oikawa glanced at the clock, 1:42 am. Sighing, Oikawa put a hand under your knees and back, carrying you bridal style to your room.

“Tooru” You exhaled, your hot breath sticking to his face as he laid you down gently on the bed. Gulping, Oikawa turned away, grabbing the blanket to put it over you. He felt your hand enclose his cheek, forcing his gaze to you.

Your cheeks are red, illuminated by the moon that is the only light source in the room. Your hair is a mess and your breath stinks of vodka. Your eyes are closing, hands collapsing on your side as you exhale, dropping your head on the pillow. Oikawa notes the way your eyelashes squint and the mole in your left eyelid. And suddenly, Oikawa felt like he was eighteen again.

You could feel his breath, hear his heavy breathing and you flutter your eyes open. You shrink under his gaze, lips parting unconsciously and Oikawa fought with all his might not to kiss you right there and then. His eyes are half-lidded, filled with desire, longing, and love.

Love. Suddenly, you’re not so drunk anymore.

“Tooru” You breathed out in a soft voice. As if something in him snapped, his lips zoomed into yours in a passionate heated kiss. You moan, slinging your arms on his nape, pulling him closer to you until he was in between your thighs.

“Tooru” You slipped out when he removed his lips on yours only to kiss you again. You could feel the heat of his skin on yours as you pulled and pulled him closer as humanly possible. 8 years flashed through your eyes and all you could think about was how good it feels to have his lips nipping on your neck.

He moans your name, fingers combing through your hair in a desperate attempt to feel all of you. He’s wanted you for so long he couldn’t think straight when he felt your hands dig under his shirt, the cold of your hands digging into his back. He groans, kissing you again in the lips before letting you slip his shirt off his shoulders.

You hum, pulling away to kiss his collarbone, hands feeling his chest down to his abdomen. You felt him tug your shirt and you giggled into his chest, taking your shirt off only for Oikawa to roam his hands on your back, to your front then to your chest. He pressed a soft peck on the flesh of your breasts that wasn’t covered by your bra and he looked up at you and asked “Are you sure?”

“Yes” You exhaled and that was all it took for Oikawa to push you gently deeper to the bed, enjoying the feeling of his fingers working its way down to your legs. He took off your pants, Oikawa took a deep breath at the sight of your cunt. He goes back up to you, nuzzling his head into your neck and whispers “God, the things you make me feel” He airly chuckles.

You took a hold of his cheeks, kissing his eyes, his nose then his lips “I love you”

“I love you too”

-

“God, I’m nervous” Oikawa starts, jumping lightly as he holds your hand. You rolled your eyes but a smile plastered on your face. You grin at him and he continues “I’ve been an idiot for a very long time-” He pauses and smiles

“-still am” You snort “-but a tad bit better now that I’m with you” A soft, endeared smile crept onto your lips

“I won’t say that I don’t regret all those years that I could’ve been with you. But we both know that was crucial and all that matters is that now I’m with you” His eyes shone and his lips creased into a smile that reached his ears

“I promise to never leave you,” he pushes the ring into your left ring finger “-not even death can do us apart” You hear your family and friends laugh in the background

“I will bother you every step of the way-” you could not help the roll of your eyes “-and love you for the rest of my life”

“Actually, scratch that. I’ll love you even when I die. I’ll love you in my next life. And the one after that, and the one after that. No matter how many times I reborn-” Oikawa takes your hands to his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his soft lips on your knuckles

“-I vow to find you and love you. Like I’ve always had and always will”

For all of your life, Oikawa Tooru has been a constant even at times you wish he wasn’t. There was a time you loathed him, a time you missed him, a time you forgot him, and a time you realized you will never stop loving him.

And as you stand before your creator, in front of your friends and family, promising to love each other till the end of time. The sound of “I do”s and cheers reverberating around the hall, as he kissed you with a tilt of his head. 

You fell in love all over again.

i suck at ending lines ajhbsnckl. i’ma edit this later when i ain’t tired AND hungry

[pettyprocrastination]

You don’t have to show this but do you think Omera would have gotten more love if she was white? I don’t ship it but her introduction was badass. I’m surprised that Din gets shipped with white bread so much. One he didn’t even speak to. The amount of fics for that compared to him and Omera is insane. I’m hoping they give him a Latina or black women love interest just to see people’s head explode.

I have ZERO issue with posting this publicly cause i wanna say: yes. 

I apologize this isn't very well written and very scattered about but here are my thoughts. 

PLEASE know I'm not trying to shame any specific writers or readers, I'm just sharing my opinions about the topic. 

(in this I'm also gonna be bringing up Ellaria sand because this isn't something only seen with Din, its seen with just about all his characters)

I think it comes to three things that are very prominent in the pedro fandom specifically: white readers not enjoying content written by/presenting woc because they feel like it doesn't directly project themselves, having an odd animosity/jealousy towards romantic leads of pedro characters and flat-out throwing away the actual characterization of his characters just to thirst for him. 

Now I will say we do have to acknowledge that I know people don't enjoy that he’s shipped with cobb vanth, because they only had a day of interaction but that’s also a mlm ship in the starwars universe so some people would like to see the representation where they can so lets keep that in mind. 

But at the same time I kind of see the mentality of “oh, its not for me? nvm” from fans when the possible romantic character is a person of color because they cant directly relate/project onto them. Which you see a lot with poc writers who make fics that have readers/oc’s that are specifically described as not being white and getting little to no notes. while others making fics that are so specifically for white people with descriptors as such but not acknowledging it when people say “hey you cant really preach inclusivity when this is very clearly written by white women for white women” which you see in moodboards, face claims, and descriptors such as “you blushed bright red” “your pale skin” “your blonde locks” . 

another BIG thing that has a part is this weird ass, juvenile wattpad-esque animosity female fans often have towards female characters who have the possibility of being a romantic lead for characters pedro plays. I know it sounds ridiculous to say, but so many fans do have this weird, almost jealous mentality to female characters who are romantic leads/have romantic tension with his character.

Like we see other female leads in the Mandalorian get lots more love than Omera, because they are mostly depicted as having a platonic relationship with Din. For exmaple, Fennec, cara, and peli, I've seen much more content for them than omera because its almost never in a romantic sense. 

Hell, before gina carano’s shit went public people were always posting about thirsting for cara dune+ how she and din were best buds and loved the relationship between them. 

And lets be real, the amount of fanfiction that the reader is essentially peli (a starky mechanic who befriends mando and becomes a kind figure to the child, who almost always becomes a live-in mechanic on the razor crest) is astronomical. You could literally switch the perspective and slap peli in and it’d make more sense but nobody wants to do that because they want to be with din, not imagine him with another female character cause they get weirdly threatened. 

(no shade to people who write that fanfiction im just SAYING)

Its not just mando either, it happens with a lot of his characters who have distinct relationships already, especially with Oberyn Martell and his lover Ellaria.  He says multiple times she is the love of his live, mother of three (i think) of his children and always accompanies him on his travels, when asked if he gets tired of her during their journeys he says “never. We share too much.”

a good majority of oberyn fanfiction either doesn't involve her at all, or writes her off as a bitch to pose animosity between her and the victim-reader or simply write her off as “she and oberyn don't love each other anymore wah-wah” even though she’s is quite literally his soulmate. 

He’s also often written to become suddenly monogamous upon meeting the reader, which just seems out of character given he is an openly polyamorous, bisexual man that talks about the joys of living life and loving freely quite often. 

Even with Marcus Moreno, when the trailer came out for We Can Be Heroes, I would see people make posts about how they hope he’s a widower instead of a married man cause they want him single.

Now I know a lot of this fandom is straight women so I don't expect them to suddenly enjoy wlw-reader relationships or polyships (even tho they do but only when its two dudes and one girl who is usually the reader but that’s a different issue) It comes down to the simple issues of throwing away the basis of the character just to thirst for pedro. (for oberyn at least)

I know some blogs on here that have gotten anons explaining the reason they dislike Ellaria that are the exact same traits Oberyn has: arrogance, sexual confidence ect. Its hot when he has it but if a female (often of color) has it, shes a bitch for some reason. 

Not even gonna get into Dave York, who was a moderately enjoyable character in the film but his character in fanfiction a good 80% of the time is “i like to cheat on my bitch of a wife with you” so lets leave it at that. 

Now. let me say there aint no shame in writing smut. I do it. I read it. And i enjoy it! But at somepoint you look at it and go “this isn’t even the character anymore” and find it a bit tiring. As well as the lack of attention writers of color get in the fandom where the main muse literally a latino man but whatever. 

This was a very long winded way of saying yes anon, I do think omera wouldve gotten more attention if she was white. But even then people still wouldn’t like her because she would pose a threat to their reader-insets. what are you gonna do I guess lmao

[mrsalwayswrite]

Lost In You (Hvitserk x Reader)

This is my contribution to @maggiescarborough​ 400 followers writing challenge! Congrats again! 

The scenario I chose was the character asking reader/oc out or the other way around. And because why not, it is a Vikings/The Last Kingdom crossover! 

Also this is my first time writing Hvitserk! Yay! Let me know how I did! 

Warnings: angst, a couple swear words, fluff, bad pick-up lines

Words:5400

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius​

  "Who is that?" 

 "Mmmm, which one?" Siri asked, openly ogling in the direction your friend, Erika, had gestured. 

 "Oh, those are some of Ubbe's friends from university." Torvi answered, with a glance over her shoulder. "He invited them since he never sees them anymore."

 "Hot damn. The one with the long hair, I'd like to climb him like a tree all night long." Wiggling her blonde eyebrows, Siri laughed at her own joke. 

 Curious now, you peeked over at the three men who were animatedly talking to Ubbe. There was no denying they were all gorgeous in their own ways. Somehow everyone within the social circle of the Lothbroks was beautiful, as if it was some unspoken requirement. These three certainly exceeded that requirement. Glancing around the backyard, you noticed right away that your friends were not the only ones ogling the newcomers. You doubted the men would be leaving alone tonight. 

 One of the three, with long, dark hair pulled back in a man bun and a crooked smile, caught your eyes staring. A warmth rose to your cheeks at the realization you had been caught. Though as his blue eyes held yours, you found yourself unable to look away, entranced by his unrestrained confidence. After an unending second of staring at one another, he sent you a naughty wink. Your eyes darted away at the raw suggestive feel the simple action had. You had no idea that a simple wink could feel so lascivious….and rousing. 

 "Oh gods, did you see that?" Erika asked, giggling like a schoolgirl. "One just winked this way."

 "Pretty sure he was winking at y/n." Torvi teased, nudging your shoulder as she stood next to you on the back deck.  

 "Yeah, no." You countered, fiddling with the label of the beer bottle in your hand. "That was probably towards one of you guys."

 Torvi sighed, pursing her lips at you. "Don't start this again, y/n. You are gorgeous and anyone who says differently is a blind asshole."

 Taking a sip of your beer, you did not bother to reply. Instead you gave Torvi a smile in thanks but kept your own insecurities to yourself. She had heard you more than enough times complain about things you disliked about yourself. Besides, today was not about you. You were supposed to be here having fun and supporting Ubbe and Torvi. 

 Luckily, Torvi started talking about the latest venue she had checked out for her and Ubbe's wedding next year. It was a perfect distraction since she had asked you to be one of her bridesmaids. Your small group talked about the outdoor wedding she wanted and how beautiful the fall colors would look in the pictures. 

 Ubbe's birthday party was in full swing. The mansion he and his brothers lived in was full of Ubbe's friends and other family friends. You had grown up with the Ragnarssons, your mother and Aslaug were close friends. So whenever they decided to hang out, you tagged along to play with the boys. Because of that, you were close to all of them, having spent just as much time at their house as at your own. Over the years, you had grown particularly close to Hvitserk. The two of you just somehow clicked. On more than one occasion, he would sneak over to your house when he needed a break from the strained dynamics of his family, or he could not handle the animosity between Ivar and Sigurd. The two of you spilled secrets in the dark, promising to never tell another. Both of you shared your first kiss under the stars one night, giggling at how grown up you felt. 

 And somewhere along the way, your feelings of friendship turned into something far stronger. 

 Over the following years, your crush on him endured even as you tried to quell it, doing everything in your power to suppress the unwanted feelings. Not because he was a bad guy. No, he was one of the sweetest guys you knew. He was loyal to a fault, always with a kind word, and happily giving suffocating hugs that felt like being embraced by a gooey marshmallow. 

 No, you refused to become another one of the girls that paraded in and out of his bedroom like the revolving door it was. 

 Besides, he never showed any hint of romantic feelings towards you. Usually he introduced you as one of his best friends. Which was just fine with you, he was one of your best friends and you would not trade that for the world. If fate had it planned that the two of you would only remain friends during your lives, you were happy with that. 

 So you did your best to ignore your unrequited feelings, focusing on finding love beyond him. There had been a couple boyfriends but most were scared away when you tried to bring them around the Ragnarssons. Ivar and Bjorn seemed to get particular enjoyment out of not-so-subtly threatening them. Hvitserk just openly glared the whole time, never saying a word of acknowledgement. Only Ubbe and Sigurd feigned being nice, but even that was less than desirable. Pretty quickly you stopped bringing boyfriends around. It was better for all parties if the Ragnarssons were not involved in your love life. What little it did consist of. 

 Suddenly, Erika's whisper-shout silenced the wedding conversation that was still happening around you. "Oh gods, they are coming over here! Shit! Act natural!" 

 "You're the only one freaking out." Torvi deadpanned, with a good-natured roll of her eyes. She looked up and smiled at Ubbe as he approached with his university friends. 

 "This here is my gorgeous fiancée, Torvi!" Ubbe announced, coming around and wrapping his arms around her waist to plant a sweet kiss on her cheek. She leaned back into his chest without a second thought, the action so instinctual. 

 "Aye, I remember you." One of Ubbe's friends, with a thick Irish accent, said. "You was datin' Bjorn when we first met."

 "Oh yeah, I remember that. One of you was super drunk and kept trying to take his pants off to piss in the fountain." She replied with a knowing smile. 

 The Irishman slung an arm around the dark-haired man, who winked in your direction earlier. "That would be Uhtred here! That was certainly a good night."

 The group laughed as Uhtred threw the Irishman's arm off and the two started a mock fist fight, ending with Uhtred putting the Irishman into a headlock. The two broke apart, laughing jovial and pushing one another like little boys. 

 "Right, where are my manners?" Ubbe said, once the two men settled somewhat. He pointed at each person as he named them, but kept his arms around his fiancée. "These guys are Finan, Uhtred and Sihtric, my mates from university. We roomed together in our first year, and the university couldn't separate us after, no matter how hard they tried. The other lovely ladies here are Erika, Siri and Y/n."

 You gave a polite smile when your name was said but dropped your gaze back to the beer in hand, fiddling with the wrapper on it. Uhtred made a point to catch your eye when you looked up, a charming smile on his face that you were sure made women drop their panties in a heartbeat. Even now you could feel his burning gaze on you, like oil gliding across your skin. 

 Soon Finan began sharing stories from back in their university days and some of the trouble they would get in, especially Ubbe, which made everyone laugh and Ubbe try to defend his honor or just hide his face in the crook of Torvi's neck. 

 "What are you thinking about?"

 You startled at the smooth, husky voice whispering in your ear. How Uhtred suddenly snuck up next to you was a little frightening. You pressed your hand over your racing heart, as if that alone would calm it down. "Um, nothing. Just….nothing." You took a sip of your drink to squelch your blabbering, unnerved and more than a little turned-on by the way his breath ghosted over your skin. 

 He raised a mocking brow, a devilish smirk on his lips as if he could somehow sense what his close proximity alone was doing to you. 

 You decided to break the tension. "It's Uhtred, right?"

 "Yes. Uhtred Ragnarsson."

 "Oh no, not another Ragnarsson!" You gasped, pretending to be horrified. 

 He laughed, a beautiful sound that had you swooning a little. Running a hand over the back of his neck, he grinned down at you. "Luckily, from a very different Ragnar. And how do you know Ubbe?"

 "We grew up together."

 "Ah, you're that y/n. I've heard a lot about you."

 "Hopefully all good things."

 "So far…" he leaned in closer, bringing his lips against your ear and setting your nerves alight, ".... but I wouldn't mind learning more about you."

 You swallowed, the low tone and those bedroom eyes made a warmth curl low in your belly. Your answer came out before you even could comprehend a response. "I'd like that."

 His smile grew, even as his face hovered just over yours. "Can I get you another drink?"

 "Please." 

 *****

 "Hvitty, what are you staring at?" Sigurd asked, taking a seat near his brothers. Although he may have been talking to Hvitserk, his gaze remained zeroed in a beautiful brunette nearby and the way she kept coyly glancing at him. 

 "Who is that guy?"

 Sigurd finally turned to look in the direction Hvitserk was glaring. "What guy?"

 "The one sitting with y/n." Hvitserk grumbled, rolling his beer bottle between his hands. 

 "You mean the one that looks like he wants to fuck her all night long?" Ivar said bluntly. His arrogant smirk grew when Hvitserk whipped his head around to give Ivar a withering look. Not that his elder brother's look bothered him, actually amusing him further, so he continued speaking. "Ubbe said he was inviting some university friends. Probably one of them."

 "I don't like him." Hvitserk spat out, returning his glare to you and this university friend of Ubbe's. The two of you were standing with a small group, listening to someone with a thick Irish accent tell some kind of story. Hvitserk gritted his teeth as he watched this friend lean down to whisper in your ear, making you smile and laugh. You tried to smack his chest but the guy caught your hand in the last second and brought it to his lips, planting a soft kiss on your palm while gazing at you with a look that radiated hunger. 

 "Why?" Ivar needled, watching the drama play out before him with unrestrained glee. 

 Hvitserk finally answered after a minute, caught up in watching you smile bashfully up at the dark-haired stranger, who tugged you towards some nearby chairs. "I don't….I don't trust him."

 Normally the two youngest sons of Ragnar were like oil and water; but in this moment, they glanced at each other and back to their elder brother with matching looks of mischief. 

 "Where is that girl that was sitting on your lap earlier? Figured you would have gone back to her place or up to your bedroom by now." Sigurd casually questioned Hvitserk, leaning back in his seat. "She was pretty, seemed like your type."

 "No, my dear brother, he got rid of her just after he noticed y/n and that guy talking." Ivar said with a shit-eating grin. 

 Hvitserk wanted to snarl at his brothers, tell them to mind their own business. Instead he took a long draw of his beer, pointedly ignoring them. Of course, Ivar would notice something so miniscule as that. His youngest brother noticed everything. Yes, Hvitserk had a girl on his lap, his hands and lips trailing over her exposed skin. The fire in his blood instantly cooled when he looked up long enough to see the stranger talking to you. Without a second thought, he pushed the girl off of his lap, much to her protests and chagrin, and moved to take a seat next to Ivar. He pretended he just wanted some air when really he could not drag his eyes off of you. 

 The youngest Ragnarsson continued, hand tapping idly on one of his leg braces. "It has been some time since y/n had a boyfriend. This might be good for her." 

 "Maybe she'll get laid tonight." Sigurd raised his beer bottle in a mock salute before taking a sip.  

 That last comment pushed him over the edge. Wordlessly, Hvitserk jumped to his feet and walked away, unable to hear it anymore. It was no secret, him and his brothers were protective of you and had chased off a fair number of guys over the years. Though, their protective streak waned after you finally confronted them about leaving your love life alone. Since then, the brothers kept an eye on you but no longer interfered unless you signaled them. The arrangement made sense, you never involved yourself in the many women the brothers pursued, so now they showed you equal courtesy. 

 For some reason tonight, it was different. 

 The flaxen-haired Ragnarsson walked past the other party-goers, ignoring the cheers, laughs, and few calls for his attention. A drinking game started at the fold-out table situated in the grass. Music filled the air, Ubbe's taste in music since this was his party. Suddenly though, it was all too much. 

 Storming inside the house the brothers shared with no real destination in mind except to just move, he was pleased to find the kitchen vacant. Leaning against the marble counter in the kitchen, he ran his hands over his braids, heart pounding for some reason. The urge to punch something, or someone, seemed to grow with each second that passed. He absent-mindedly wondered if this was how Ivar felt all the time. 

 Peering out the window over the kitchen sink, he could see you sitting next to Ubbe's dark-haired friend on a lawn chair. From this position, it appeared you were almost in the guy's lap. One of your hands clasped a beer while the other toyed with the necklace you habitually wore. With a wicked look, the stranger leaned over to whisper in your ear, one of his hands resting on your hip. Whatever he said made you laugh, as you threw your head back, mirth spilling from you. For anyone else, it would have been sweet to watch the two of you, a connection and a growing infatuation evident. 

 The scene caused Hvitserk's blood to boil. He gripped onto the counter's edge to ground himself before he went out there and punched the guy. It made no sense. He had no right to try and separate the two of you. Feelings be damned, every part of his body revolted at the scene unfolding before him and how he allowed it to happen. Slamming his eyes shut, he silently counted to ten, willing himself to settle. He knew he needed to walk away….but his feet refused to move. 

 "Hey, Hvitserk."

 Slowly opening his eyes, he looked over his shoulder at the call of his name. A pretty blonde stood just inside the kitchen, twirling a piece of hair around her finger with an enticing smile and a body begging to be touched. He remembered her. He fucked her a week ago. Staring at her now, her name continued to slip his mind. Did he even know her name at the time?

 "Hey." He replied unenthusiastically, maintaining his grip on the counter edge. 

 "What are you doing in here?" She asked, walking closer to him, her hips swaying with each step. 

 "Nothing."

 "Oh, well are you bored? Do you need some company?" She trailed a finger down his arm, peeking at him through her long lashes. "I can think of a few ways this night could end for us."

 He looked down at her. Any other time he would have jumped her in a heartbeat. It would have been almost too easy to drag her upstairs and fuck her until they were both delirious with pleasure. 

 "I'm good." He stated, looking away from her and back out the window. 

 "You sure I can't change your mind? I mean last time we had…."

 Uncaring of how harsh he sounded, he shrugged her arm off. "I said I'm good. Fuck off."

 Her eyes widened for a moment before they narrowed at him and she took a step back. "Fine. Fuck you, Hvitserk." She stomped out of the kitchen, each step a clatter on the hard floor. 

 "You just tried." He muttered to himself, dropping his head to his chest.  

 What was wrong with him? He knew what it was though. Or more specifically- who. A war waged in his chest and he worried the repercussions of either side winning. This limbo would surely kill him. 

 Peering out the window, he could not take his eyes off of you. Although you vehemently disagreed, he thought you always looked beautiful. Tonight though, in the fading sunlight, you looked gorgeous. Like a new light had been ignited in you, radiating joy and life. It was mesmerizing to witness. 

 "Hey! Probably should start wrapping the party up in an hour or so. Way more people turned out than I thought." Ubbe said with a beaming smile as he walked into the kitchen, dropping some empty beer bottles on the counter. At his brother's silence, he stopped and really looked at him. "Hvitty, you alright, man?"

 "Yeah, of course." He snarked, not in the mood for his older brother's prying. "Why wouldn't I be?"

 "First, you're lingering in the kitchen like some housecat looking for food, which I guess isn't that strange."

 Hvitserk's lips twitched but he continued to stare out the window.

 "Secondly, it looks like you're trying to set Uhtred's head on fire with how hard you are staring."

 He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face."It's nothing, Ubbe. Don't worry about it. Go head back out."

 After a moment, Ubbe grabbed two new beers from the cooler and came over to his brother's side, passing him one of the drinks. With a murmured thanks, Hvitserk took it, immediately popping the top and taking a long draw. They stood silently for several minutes, just sipping on their beers and watching the party outside in companionable silence. 

 "You going to tell her?" Ubbe finally asked, keeping his gaze straight ahead. 

 Hvitserk stiffened and pressed his lips together, the urge to hit something renewed after Ubbe's question. 

 "You can't get mad at her for wanting love and attention, especially when she's not getting it from the person she wants it from most." Ubbe glanced over at his sullen brother but plowed on. "Look, I know you like fucking around but if you expect her to keep waiting around for you….she won't. And it looks like she and Uhtred are really hitting it off. I won't stop them just cause you won't tell her how you feel."

 "What are you saying, Ubbe?" He growled, though if the steadily increasing anger was directed more at his brother or himself, he could not tell. 

 "I'm saying man up and tell her, or let her go. It's up to you." With a clap on the shoulder, Ubbe headed back outside. 

 Hvitserk took a sip of his beer, Ubbe's words bouncing around in his head. Over the years, the crush you had on him had not gone unnoticed, though he never addressed it. Ubbe eventually confronted him about it, forcing Hvitserk to reveal his own secret. He knew what he wanted. He had known for a long time. Was it too late though? Had he fucked up his chances for real happiness? Did he even deserve you anymore?

 *****

 You laughed, covering your mouth to try and muffle the uproarious sound. "That one was great! Ok, ok, tell me another."

 Uhtred sat behind you on the lawn chair, smiling broadly as he took a sip of his beer. Since he walked over to you at the beginning of the party, the two of you had been inseparable. He seemed to take particular pleasure out of making you laugh and currently he was telling you some of the best and worst pick-up lines he knew. Apparently, him and Finan liked to come up with new ones when they were bored. 

 He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling your back closer to his chest as he whispered in your ear. "You're so hot, even my zipper is falling for you."

 Giggling, you covered your face. Not just because of the silly line but ever since the two of you sat down, him practically pulling you into his lap, he had you teetering on the edge of arousal. The way his broad chest felt pressed against you, the rumble sound when he chuckled, and those damn bedroom eyes with that smirk which promised so many beautiful, naughty things. It was driving you insane. 

 "Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection." He said, his hand slowly trailing up and down your thigh. 

 "Please tell me someone has used that."

 "Finan did at a pub once."

 "I don't know him, but I'm guessing it worked." 

 Uhtred chuckled, giving you a playful wink. "It did."

 You tried to tamper down the butterflies dancing in your belly from that simple action. "Alright, what is one you've never used?"

 He thought about it for a second then in a flash, he licked up the rim of your ear. 

 "What?" You squirmed and tried to wipe your ear off. "What was that for?"

 He laughed, while his hand kept you pinned to him. "If you lick something, you get to keep it. Everyone knows that. So now you're mine."

 "Well if you're going to claim me, you could have done it without licking my ear."

 You swore his eyes darkened as he stared down at you. His voice husky as he whispered in your ear. "And if there are other parts of you I want to lick?"

 Your breath caught in your throat, desire slipping through your blood. "Guess you need to work on your lines." You whispered back, hoping it sounded confident but sure it sounded more needy with want. 

 "I'm a man of action, I'd rather show you what I want to do."

 "Like what?"

 With a cocky smirk, he slowly lowered his head until his lips touched yours. You gasped but gave in without remorse, allowing him to lead you in a slow dance. His lips were pure seduction, caressing and teasing, making you yearn for more. His tongue flicked over your lips before he pulled back, eyes scanning over your face to gauge your reaction. 

 "That….that was much more convincing than a pick-up line." You breathed out. 

 "I'm glad you approve."

 "What else can you show me?"

 His gaze dropped back to your lips and you tensed with anticipation. 

 "Y/N!!" 

 You almost gave yourself whip-lash with how quickly you spun your head around at the call of your name. You saw Hvitserk approaching, hands in fists by his side and jaw clenched. His abrupt yell had most of those still around watching the two of you with curiosity. 

 "What?" You asked, your body vibrating with confusion and need.

 "Come here. I need to talk to you." He kept his hard gaze on you, making you feel like a child about to be reprimanded by their older sibling. 

 "Can we talk later?"

 "No, it's important."

 "She's busy right now." Uhtred declared, snaking his arm around your waist. You knew the move was possessive and with the way Hvitserk's eyes narrowed and burned with intensity, you knew Uhtred's move was not for your sake.

 Hvitserk met your eyes, pleading in a way you had never seen before and his tone suddenly soft. "Y/n….please."

 You sighed, those damn puppy dog eyes. "Fine, this better be important." You grumbled, removing yourself from Uhtred's embrace. 

 "Don't take too long, I'll be waiting." Uhtred said, flashing you a charming smirk. 

 You smiled at Uhtred then followed Hvitserk back towards the house. There were a few looks of confusion from those you passed by that you caught, but otherwise most people ignored the two of you, too focused on the party. Besides, everyone knew you and Hvitserk were friends so it was no surprise to see you in one another's company. 

 Your mind wandered as to what the issue could be. Surprise coursed through you as he led you up the stairs towards the brothers' bedrooms. Once Ivar, in a drunken fit, insulted a girl so harshly she had burst into inconsolable, wailing tears, forcing the brothers to pull her away into one of their rooms to calm her down. Maybe something like that had happened again? You tried to remember if you saw Ivar recently but realized you had been too absorbed in Uhtred to truly take notice. 

 Hvitserk led you into his bedroom, the door slamming closed behind you. With a quick glance you noted the two of you were alone. The bed was still made, so he had not brought a girl up yet. Confusion continued to mount within you. 

 "What's going on?" You finally asked, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. 

 Instead of answering, he paced several times in front of you, running his hands over his braids. A couple times he stopped, turning to you and opening his mouth but then immediately closed it to continue pacing. It was quickly becoming infuriating. Plus he was going to ruin his braids with how hard he was running his hands over them. 

 "Hvitty, you need to tell me what is going on or I'm going to go back out. You said it was important."

 His pacing ceased. Twisting to face you, he threw his hands up as he exclaimed, "I want you to marry me!"

 You froze. Your jaw dropped as you stared at him. Only in your wildest fantasies did you ever think you would hear that uttered from his mouth. Years ago, you had buried that fantasy, knowing it would never come to pass. Now you stared at him, staring at you. Both of you seemed shocked by what he just blurted. 

 "Fuck, that's not what I meant to say first." 

 "So….so you don't want to marry me?" You tried to clarify, your mind scrambling to make sense of what just happened. 

 Mumbling something unintelligible, he ran his hands once more over his braids; then in what appeared a split second decision, he advanced closer, dropping to his knees in front of you. "Yes. I do. Fuck. I'm doing this all wrong."

 "Hvitserk, what is going on?"

 He sighed, placing his hands over yours as if to steady himself. His words poured forth like a confession, secrets finally freed yet terrified by the light now on them. "Ever since we were children, it's always been you. Whenever I thought about getting married, buying a house, having children….it was always with you. Never have I thought about it with anyone else. It's always been you….and….and it terrified me. You are one of my closest friends, gods, I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life. I couldn't lose that, lose you. And with watching my parents and their marriage, I didn't….I didn't want us to go through something like that. So I never said anything. I fucked around because it was easier to pretend to be ok with that than realize I only ever saw you in my future….you've all I've ever wanted."

 Stunned, you gaped at him for a long time. "Why…." You licked your lips, mind fumbling to formulate a question. "Why are you telling me this now?"

 "Because you needed to know, or I just needed to tell you. I guess, I just needed to know if you would choose me, even after everything I've done. But if you rather be with someone like that guy out there, I get it. I mean, I figured I lost my chance years ago….but watching you out there. Fuck! I want it to be me. I want your smiles and laughs. I want to steal kisses from you. I want you in my bed, to roll over and hold you close. I want to live with you and kiss you before we leave for work. I want to watch you grow round with our child. I want the fights and frustrations. I just….it's always been you. I just want you….in everything."

 The two of you remained frozen in place for several minutes, his confession weighing heavily in the air around you. You stared into his earnest, brown eyes, searching them, studying them, confirming the truth. His words peeled back the layers you had built around your heart, to protect it from loving him too much. 

 In this moment you knew you teetered on the edge of a knife. If you fell one way, it would be into his arms, into a love you had only ever dreamed about. But if you fell the other way, everything would remain how it had been, you could be friends, freeing you both to pursue others. But this knowledge shared between you would haunt both of your actions forever. 

 Could you do it? After so long of pining after him, of your unrequited affections, did you trust him to fully reciprocate? 

 In your heart, you knew your answer even as he spoke. It laid there tattooed on your heart ever since you were children. 

 You finally broke the tense silence, bringing a hand up to lightly run over his frizzed braids. "You know, most guys ask a girl out on a date first before asking to marry them."

 He chuckled, catching your hand and pressing it to the side of his face. "That's true." 

 "Ask me."

 "What?" His brow furrowed faintly as he stared up at you, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand. 

 You took a deep breath before a small smile teased your lips. "Ask me to go on a date with you."

 "Y/n, will you go on a date with me?"

 "Yes. I would love to."

 His face beamed with a boyish smile and bright eyes alight. It made your heart stutter at how handsome he was, at the pure, genuine joy radiating from him. Surprising you, he kissed your palm quickly before a gleeful laugh escaped him. You could not help your own giggle. Everything felt so surreal, like the two of you had stepped into a dream, a bubble of your own making. Here, reality was irrelevant. You stared at one another with stupid smiles on your faces but neither cared.  

 "Can I kiss you?" He asked softly, gazing up at you with such a look of adoration, you felt yourself melting. 

 "You better."

 Without waiting an extra second, he captured your lips in a kiss that bespoke of longing. It started off with gentle, probing kisses that urged you to respond. A call you had no qualms about answering. Your tongue flicked against the seam of his lips and that was the key to unlock his restraint. Next thing you knew, you were on your back with him hovering over you, worshiping you using his mouth and tongue. You were utterly at his mercy and for once, you completely surrendered yourself to his touch, knowing he would be there to catch you. 

 The two of you laid there on his bed, tangled in one another, your mouths fused together as if you needed the other to continue breathing. Finally when air became a desperate necessity, he pulled back. Immediately, though, he set his forehead to yours, unwilling to move further away than that. 

 "Did you... want to go back out….to the party?" He panted out, his chest heaving just as much as yours. 

 You giggled, running a finger over his cheek to trace his deliciously, swollen lips. "No, I have everything I've ever wanted right here."

 Then you kissed him, letting him taste the truth on your tongue. Soon you became absorbed in each other's touch, utterly entwined and unwilling to ever part again. If this was what it meant to be lost in love, you both hoped to never be found.