#I don’t know what the fuck to tag non fandom art

[hearnoweevil]

So last summer I got lost camping by not reading any signs

[goddessofroyalty]

Fandom: One Piece 

Pairing: Zoro/Sanji 

Tags: omegaverse, discussed-future-mpreg 

Someone shared a bit of non-omegaverse art in the ZoSan server of Zoro showering affection on Sanji’s stomach and it inspired me to write them talking about their future child in a verse where they agreed no pups until after they and Luffy achieve their dreams.

  -------------

Sanji lets out a huff as Zoro lays his head down against his stomach, one of the swordsman’s callused hands resting against what might one day become the peak of it as the other supports Sanji’s back as he enjoys his cigarette, blowing a puff of smoke out over the alpha’s head. The break in Sanji’s heat is nice even if they both know it will only last for a moment.  

“There isn’t anything in there moss,” Sanji says as Zoro’s thumb tickles against his skin. The necessary steps have been taken to ensure that for all their fucking no pup will result from this heat.  

“I know,” Zoro grunts, twisting his head and pressing a kiss against Sanji’s hip bone.  

“Once Luffy’s the Pirate King and I’m the world’s greatest swordsman and we’re living on your ocean,” Zoro continues, trailing kisses along Sanji’s hips as he recites the dreams they swore to achieve. “You’ll give me pups then right?”  

“I didn’t realise we agreed to pups plural?” Sanji jokes, more to try and keep himself from giving into the fantasy of it.  

“You know I could never be satisfied with just one. Not when it’s with you.” Zoro says, resting his forehead directly onto Sanji’s stomach, leaving him looking almost as if he’s praying over it. “You’ll even let some get my green hair right? And they’ll all get your eyebrows.” 

Sanji doesn’t know the last time he heard Zoro that excited. It reminds him of the headstrong alpha second in command on the pirate crew he decided to throw his lot into who had matured into his steadfast mate.  

“Maybe if you’re lucky.” Sanji hopes they do inherit the alpha’s hair. Oh he’ll bitch about it when it happens. Can’t let the mosshead’s ego get too large. But he now can’t think about his future children without at least one of them having coarse green hair and a stubborn attitude.  

Zoro grins up at him.  

“You will,” Zoro says, ducking his head back down to press a kiss against Sanji’s stomach, his hands grabbing at the omega’s hips. “You’re gonna’ look so fucking hot while you’re growing them as well.”  

Sanji does laugh at that.  

“I’m going to look like a waddling land-whale.” He doesn’t have the delicate curves of a lady which are only accentuated by pregnancy. Lacks their soft plump skin that glows with the life they are carrying.  

Zoro snorts at that.  

“You will not,” he says with a nip at Sanji’s hip. “You are going to look so good. So strong. Fuck I don’t know how I’m gonna’ keep my hands off you. All full with my pup. Hell I’ll fuck another one into you before you’re even finished growing the first.”  

“That’s-“ Impossible. And the idea of having pregnancies that overlap giving his body no time without one of Zoro’s children growing in him should be almost repulsive. Sanji is going to blame his heat for the fact he finds it weirdly insanely hot.  

“You’ll be great with them,” Zoro continues, uncaring of Sanji’s broken-off attempt at interruption. One of his hands coming up to grope at Sanji’s chest. “Gonna’ be feeding them from the moment they’re born. They won’t know shit food until they move out to take the world for themselves.”  

Of course they will. No matter what they decide their dream to be their children are bound to achieve it. Will have grown up learning from the best in so many fields. Never once doubting on their parents support for them.  

“Moss-“ Sanji says, running a hand through Zoro’s hair. He can feel his heat stir back to life under his skin and he’s pretty sure it’s affecting the alpha too. 

“Shit. I’m going to fuck you so good. Fill you with knot and my pups. Our strong healthy pups,” Zoro continues to babble.  

Strong pups that will be trained by the world’s greatest swordsman and fed on the abundance of fish in the All Blue. Who will never know real hunger and know that love and care is as important as training at being your best. Will learn to cook at Sanji’s side and take afternoon naps with Zoro.  

“Fuck – I need you to shut up now,” Sanji says, his grip on Zoro’s hair tugging the alpha up off him.  

Zoro gives a questioning hum like he isn’t aware of what he’s fucking doing.  

Sanji pulls him up by the hair for a kiss before he can open his stupid mouth again.  

“You need to shut the fuck up and fuck me,” Sanji orders. Because if the bastard keeps going Sanji might not be able to stay strong on their agreement that they weren’t going to have pups until all their dreams were achieved.  

Zoro grins at him like he knows but his hands grab at Sanji’s thighs as he does as he’s commanded.  

[toboldlymuppet]

cranky fandom wank hours

It sucks that this is my post after a while of not updating art here but I have to say something about it. The level of vitriol and hate I’ve gotten as an Izzy fan (why yes, that fictional little pathetic man over on that little queer pirate show that speaks about kindness & acceptance, of growing past your trauma & toxic mentality, That One) has been 10x as worse than in any fandom I’ve been in, and I’ve been in fandom for more than a decade now. I’ve modded a fairly large game discord (at 100k+) and even then, I haven’t had death threats lobbied at me so aggressively until I got into this show. I was never shy about my anti-colonialism stance, my Filipino heritage, my sexuality or gender identity, especially having recently realized that I fall into the nb spectrum. Or all my stances on shitty IRL things that are both morally and legally reprehensible. And yet, the number of “racist/pedophile/rapist/colonizer/abuse apologist” I’ve gotten in my dms has pushed me enough to close my twitter dms & asks here, something I haven’t done at all (most especially on twitter where I’ve kept it open since 2014). People I know who enjoyed staying in our own lane & enjoying one rat bastard has gotten hate and death threats, we’ve had someone doxxed, many of us fear doxxing, I’ve been thrown into a list of ‘known rapists/abusers” for daring to do fanwork of my current favorite pirate. A lot of us fans are POC and trans and nonbinary, or somewhere around that spectrum, and yet we’ve been constantly drowned out by people who think that fandom = activism? Who act like surely it’s just a conglomerate of white cis fans who flock around Izzy. Nice, way to fuckin misgender and act like a white savior to us, oh wait, we POC/non-cis Izzy fans don’t exist, do we? Even then, so many fanwork of other POC characters on the show are by Izzy fans. Roach & Frenchie fanworks, iirc, where they’re not relegated into the side or disregarded, where they’re main characters in their own right, are primarily by us fans. We show the crew a good amount of love, and even then, if you don’t find the fanwork of a character or ship you’re looking for? Don’t attack the fans enjoying our own thing and do your own, commission an artist/writer, cultivate your own circle instead of attacking others. Izzy Hands is by far the least morally decrepit favorite I’ve gotten in many years, he’s nothing even remotely close to being ‘unredeemable’,  to apply morality to him & his fans, despite being a pirate in a fucking pirate show, totally known for their Goodwill To All Men and Upstanding Code of Ethics, is ridiculous and full of bad faith criticism. Also, can people stop tagging hate in his tag, what the fuck happened to fandom ethics or consideration, stop airing out your dirty laundry for the fans to see where we’re just here to have a good time and Stay In Our Lane. Anyway, I have a shitload of more to add but it’s 6am and I’ve frankly never been this exhausted by fandom before. This is why I’ve never done G/B stuff lol, despite having done so many wips on my initial watch. Is it cringe to have an entire vent about a sad small fictional man? Yes. But is it even cringer to focus all your time and energy into hating that guy & his fans? Also yes.

Good morning.

[ghostoffuturespast]

hey ghostie i was gna get specific for the ask game but I wanna know *all* of it now, the acronyms, the full names, all of em! are they for cyberpunk or other fandoms? no matter how much there is to know, i wanna know! talking about an idea helps a lot, i speak from experience! thanks for the mention, ill get on the wip game soon, too! ❤️

WIP Game Here

Thank you for the ask! I appreciate it :) They are all Cyberpunk 2077 things lol. I’ve largely been a lurker in other fandoms until this one, and this is the first one that finally compelled me to make stuff and that I’ve had the bravery to share. Don’t have many snippets at the moment, all of what I have so far is already out there. Since you asked for all of them though, I shall dish and give you a bit of a peak behind the curtain on how all this got started…

(I’m sorry, this got very rambly.)

And def tag me when you do yours! I will come find you and your wips! 🧡

SIG - So It Goes

(The title is based off the radio song from the game that you can listen to on Morro Rock. Never officially released and credited to the fictional band Fingers and the Outlaws in the game. Officially sung by Ryan Kattner, the front singer of the band Man Man.)

SIG is my current V/River conspiracy theory long fic that I’m working on, and the project is coming up on its two year anniversary. It’s also my first fic. I’m hoping to wrap it up this spring so I can move on to other creative endeavors. There are a lot of art projects, fandom and non-fandom related, that I’ve held off on because of this and I miss those hobbies. I also feel like I’ve been missing out a lot in the writing corner of the fandom too because a lot of new writers have popped up on the scene since I started (back when there was still a monopoly on the tag, but that’s a different story) and everyone else seems to be having fun reading everyone else’s fics, except me… Reading’s complicated for me right now. Writing this had a lot of ups and downs, but overall I’ve loved telling this story, learned a lot, and I’m really proud of it!

I think most people get into fic writing for the ships, the romance, the smut, the processing of internalized trauma, a more satisfactory ending, weird niche interests… And don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of appeal with all that, and definitely those aspects in my own work. But this whole thing got started because of conspiracy theories. I fucking love mysteries and puzzles, so after playing the sun ending and then I spotting Mr. Blue Eyes on the balcony during the conclusion of Dream On, I just about lost my damn mind. I went down the rabbit hole, spent hours reading shards and messages in the game, combed reddit theory posts, and started picking up on all the hints and foreshadowing of something larger looming throughout the game.

I initially didn’t have any answers when I made the decision to start this fic (fuck, high probability I still don’t), it was largely me brainstorming and trying to figure out what kind of story I wanted to write. Seeing if I could even piece things together. But in the process of thinking all that through, I came up with this little theory. I thought it was pretty mind blowing at the time (still think it is) but it’s been my little secret since I got here and I’m very anxious to finally share it.

Most people probably would have just written a theory post and been done with it, but I decided to turn mine into a fan fic lol. Which may or not have been a mistake, we’ll see. This is either gonna be game changing or everyone is going to think it’s dumb and I’m gonna be wearing a dunce cap for the next fifty years.

River Ward. The other half of my reason for writing this fic. I actually wasn’t sure if I liked him at first, it took me a while to warm up to him. But the more I got to know him, the more I started to like him. The more he grew on me. He got hotter over time. Plus, I’ve got a fondness for detective characters and unusual coats, so I should’ve seen it coming.

River’s gotten a lot of flak from this fandom. People claim he’s boring. He’s a cop, so acab. Being unemployed and living in a trailer park with your sister, niece, and nephews isn’t a particularly redeeming quality. I don’t agree with most of those statements, but I do agree with the folks who do appreciate his character, that in terms of development, he absolutely got shafted in the game. This fic is also an attempt to rectify that.

For as underdeveloped as his story arc was, there’s a lot of nuance to his character that I think gets glossed over by the game and most people. We didn’t get much, but out of what we did get, it’s been interesting trying to piece a story together that’s in line with what we got. And I did mention earlier that I like puzzles.

I’ve noticed that a lot of folks tend to lean very hard into the cop aspect of his character, but as far as I’m concerned, River Ward doesn’t give a shit about the law. Conducting an off the record investigation, intimidating a confidential informant, illegally obtaining evidence, breaking into a restricted lab, committing arson for your ex so she can pass a medical exam, conducting another investigation after being suspended; those are not the actions of a man who holds the letter of the law above all else. Those are the actions of man who is determined to get to the bottom of things, and protect people, all while navigating a system that is anything but equitable or fair. They are the actions of a man who is willing to go above and beyond for the people he cares about, even to his own detriment. His own safety. For River Ward, it was never about the law, it’s about justice. And pursuing that sometimes involves breaking the rules.

River is also Pomo. Which is something that was only added in subsequent patches, heavily glossed over in the game, and is only disclosed if you choose to actually romance him. But he’s Indigenous. Native American. And yet he still made a conscious decision to join the NCPD. Given the historical participation by law enforcement and government institutions in North America, and around the world, in the cultural erasure and mass genocide of entire nations, tribes, and communities of people. And given the current state of issues regarding law and judicial enforcement on tribal lands, I think River's character is a rather poignant reflection. Of wanting to good, of wanting the world to be better, but being confined in systems that simply won't allow that. There's a billion other little details I could ramble on about, but his character had the capacity to walk a very fine line of complexities which the game never really did justice to.

Diversity and representation in media are important to me, and I want this fic to reflect that. Being bi-racial, I didn’t get very much of it growing up, so if I can provide representation, even in some small capacity, I think it’s better than nothing. And while I don’t know if I’m achieving that, well, shit if I’m not trying.

I wouldn’t say this story was really meant to be original, but rather to fill in the gaps on the story we got and for me to practice writing. Practice telling a story. CP2077 is a violent game set in a violent world. And I somehow managed to start writing a story that accidentally ended up being a love letter to aikido. (Much to my chagrin. It’s everywhere. In everything. I cannot escape it.) Aikido is a martial art that translates “to the way of peace” or “the path of harmony.” Yet again, another study in dichotomies. How can a martial art, an art form designed to inflict violence, be peaceful? Aikido is as much of a martial art as it is a philosophy. We train to practice and learn that philosophy.

One of the major themes I’m exploring in this fic series is the nature of violence. What it is, the forms it takes, how cyclical it is, that it is a relationship - violence requires your participation. So the question ends up being: how do you break cycles of violence when you live in a world where you are beholden to it? V and River are very much two characters that are caught up in cycles of violence. Will they find peace? I don’t know, but maybe they can find out together.

From The Top

(This one isn’t named after a song. I just decided to start from the beginning.)

From The Top is the VP project I started up last spring where I’ve been taking storyboard style photos of all the main missions. Plus whatever else I feel like. I take all of my photos on PS5 in vanilla photomode and randomly started snapping pictures just because. I did landscape photos, shared a few. Got a bit of nice feedback from people who cared to look and then started branching out. I eventually got to the point where I started a new playthrough for the sole purpose of snapping photos.

Taking VP is very different from writing for me. I don’t have to think about. I don’t agonize about making sure every tiny detail is just right, because for the most part I don’t have very much control It’s candid, intuitive, experimental, it’s straight up play. I simply wait for opportunities to present themselves and capture whatever I think looks or feels interesting to me. It’s easy for me to walk away from it if it doesn’t do well when I post. Unlike my writing, there’s no ego attached to it.

I’m getting to the tail end of this project, I still have a couple of the base game missions to get through, but I’d also like to do Phantom Liberty as well. Not sure what my VP career is going to look like after this, might go into soft retirement. But that’s okay.

NR - Night Running

(Named after Night Running by Cage the Elephant)

Is a sleeper wip that’s currently in the notes, brainstorming, and kitchen drawer phase. It’s part 2 of my Nothing Comes Before Night City series. So It Goes is part 1.

It takes a long time for me to mull over and ruminate on ideas, so this document is largely just a repository for notes and thoughts. Jamming the utensils in the drawer until I’m ready to organize them. I have a very broad idea of what I’d like to happen in this fic, key moments I’d like to hit, but there’s still a lot of refinement that needs to happen, and stories this involved require me outlining. I do already have a running set list of songs to draw from though.

Les Preludes

(Named after Les Preludes by Franz Liszt)

Another sleeper wip, also in the brainstorming phase. These are meant to be one-shots or short stories from the Nothing Comes Before Night City series. Moments I mentioned in the series, but can’t fit into the larger story. Character studies and background lore from V, River, Johnny, Jackie, a couple of OCs and whatever else I can think of.

I will probably start casually working on these after I finish SIG and while I’m outlining NR. I’d like the series to go in chronological order. Should be fun. And I think it’ll be good practice for being more concise. Unlike, this response...

If you stuck around for this TedTalk and made it all the way to the end, thank you! 👻

[solipseismic]

ty for the tag @thesunlikehoney !! <3

a band you don’t like that many others do:

the mountain goats lmao (i like a few of their songs but i dislike the rest)

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

i have permanent nerve damage on my right kneecap from fucking up a mazurka (very basic figure skating step/half-jump kind of thing) and falling in such a manner that i bashed my knee into the ice w like 3x my body weight behind it in force lmao

least favorite animal and why:

lord. i dont really dislike any animals so i guess one i've had personal experience w? i will never ever want an akita (relative had a poodle-akita mix and dear god). they're like the less smart and more evil cousins of huskies.

hot fandom take:

satine and obi-wan would be 200% more interesting if they were some kind of fucked up non-romantic relationship. "i would have left the order for her" we all know the tcw writers just put there bc ppl wanted a blonde woman cardboard cutout love interest for white fans to project onto (as if romance is what "humanizes" characters, huge jerk-off pantomime). "this is duchess satine whom i have an intricately crafted and decades-old rivalry with to see who can pick up the most morosexuals in our personal entourages" the crowd goes wild. satine herself is 200% more interesting when writers allow her to stand on her own and not just as a prop to obi-wan. also ppl who ship obtine are missing out on the most illustrious joy of padme/satine.

do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

yes, i have one ear pierced (default diamond stud; some of my fav earrings are from noonmade like the suncatcher and wind chime, most others r just whatever i've picked up over the years) and i'm almost always wearing a raven skull pendant i got for my bday from a friend :)

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

13 going on 30 ... clueless ... 10 reasons i hate about you ... i just don't have the romcom/chick flick spirit in me :(

three things you love about yourself:

typing speed, great core strength, big cat

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

i would like to climb 설악산/seorak mountain, my mom grew up in that area and i like mountain climbing :)

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

crisp rat. he's bad.

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?

설날 / lunar new year on feb 10 :)

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

dinluke and obtine lmao though it's less a ship thing and more the certain Kind of people that do a specific Flavor of shipping that are unfortunately hugely prevalent in dinluke and (more recently) codywan :(( however like 85% of the obtine shippers ive interacted with are just white assholes lmao

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?

mcu/marvel comics graphics community on instagram. i will drop my phone in lava

list three things you find beautiful about life:

big cat, mellow post-rock, krylon workable fixatif

any dreams for the future?

finish my thesis babey

how are you really feeling today?

i need to do more wrist stretches

tag games taglist (ask to be + / -): @47crayons , @sleepy-night-child , @bladeverbena , @drippingmoon , @vellichor-virgo , @writing-is-a-martial-art , @wiz-is-sorta-a-writer , @thelaughingstag , @mj-is-writing , @hellowkatey , @asbestostrain , @gayskywalkcrs​ , @lorspolairepeluche , @coarsely , and anyone else who wants to do this !!

[cozylittleartblog]

do you have any advice/tips for posting art on tumblr for the first time?

I’m not new from twitter, I just don’t wanna fuck up somehow

really the two keys to posting art is 1. knowing how to use tags, and 2. having a dedicated art blog

tumblr only tracks the first 20 tags on a post, everything after that is Just For Funsies. tracked tags will show up in search, both for the whole website and on your blog.

if you're not sure what tags to use, see what other popular posters are using! i think i mentioned this in my tumblr guide post, but generally you want to tag fandom, characters, ships (if applicable), and any AUs or similar things. oh, and content warnings if those apply, too. then if you want you can try stuff like mediums and other general tags, that'd be your #art, #illustration, #fanart, #fanfic, #digital art, #(program you used), etc etc. you don't really have to use those, but if you want to keep your blog Super Extra Organized or if you're posting original content with no fandom tags to lean on then they are good options. (you can use things like #ocs, #original characters, #character design, #concept art, and genre tags for those!)

really tagging comes down to: if i wanted to find content like this post, what tags would I look in?

You want to have a dedicated art blog so you can keep your art front and center, if people have to dig to see your art or you post a lot of content they aren't familiar with aside from your art, they are less likely to stick around or follow you! this goes for all social medias really, not just tumblr. it's okay to make the occasional non-art related post, you don't have to completely separate art and artist here, but if you have an art blog you want it to be 95% things pertaining to your work. I have a main blog where I post everything that isn't my art, but occasionally I will reblog important things here or share other artists work because it's good that artists support each other :D

TL;DR - Get familiar with tumblr's tagging system and what the popular tags are for the types of artwork you want to post, and have a dedicated art blog! 💖

Bonus tip: Not everyone is online at the same time, and many people don't scroll to the bottom of their dashboards to catch up on every post they missed. You can schedule your posts so you post consistently at the same times, and you can schedule a reblog of your post later in the day. I for example will make all relevant art posts at 12PM CST, and I set the post to reblog at 8PM CST. The tumblr userbase is more active in the evenings, so if you don't post around that time it's definitely good to reblog things then!

[unrealwasteland]

Roosmav fic recs: Omegaverse favorites!

Omegaverse is a very popular trope in Roosmav fandom - currently about 15% of Roosmav works on AO3 are tagged with it. Since this is a list of my favorites, all fics here are about alpha!Rooster and omega!Mav, with fairly typical omegaverse dynamics. There may be mentions of breeding and/or mpreg, but no on-page pregnancy is included.

The majority of these fics have explicit vaginal sex, and I'm not tagging every fic for it, so I recommend looking at the full tags and author's note before deciding what to read. If you're not comfortable with some terminology, I suggest ctrl+F searching for it before reading. Some of these fics come with warnings, so I'm putting the non-explicit fic first, and filth under the cut. :D

No prize for second place by Lacerta 6k, M, no archive warnings apply omega chase, getting together

Maverick dashes behind a tree, not as much for the measly cover it provides as for the support. He leans against the bark, fingers digging into the rough ridges. It only marginally helps to ground him, but fighting against odds this uneven, even as much is a blessing. He knows the game; he knows how to play it. What he didn’t take into account, though, was Bradley. * The old tradition in the US military has alphas chasing after omegas in heat. Maverick, still unmated, is a recurring champion of the Chase, but there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

I really love the worldbuilding and Mav's characterization in this fic. Very well written.

Needs Must by EmilyNorth 8k, E, no archive warnings apply bonding, not actually unrequited love

“I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now,” Admiral Simpson said. To his credit, he sounded mostly sincere. But then, he’d always been clear about admiring Iceman. It was Maverick who he couldn’t stand. “Take some time, whatever you need.” “I appreciate that, sir,” Maverick said, “but there’s no time. The mission—” “No, I’ll be taking over the training from here.” Maverick froze. “…Sir?” “We both know you can’t stay on active duty, captain. An omega is only allowed to serve if they’re bonded.”

This is absolutely beautiful, and I really enjoyed how the omegaverse worldbuilding is weaved into the canon divergent setting.

Cream Top by anonymous 7k, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings (underage) medical examination, male lactation, pseudo-incest, sex toys

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen cases like this before.” The medical officer turned and made another note on her laptop. Several notes. “I’m assuming, Captain, that there’s a young alpha at home? It looks like you have a dependent on your file.” Maverick closed his eyes. “Yes.” “How old are they?” Mav didn’t want to answer. “Captain?” she prompted. “Bradley’s—Seventeen.”

Dare I say this one is a fandom classic already? The first chapter is a work of art, but the whole fic is amazing.

the whole purpose of want and desire by punk_rock_yuppie 3k, E, no archive warnings apply established relationship, edging, trans!maverick

This early-morning fuck shouldn’t be happening. Bradley knows that. But he can’t help himself. He woke up hard and was still aching when Maverick slipped back into their room for a goodbye kiss. If Maverick really didn’t want to, he’d say so. The only caveat is— “I’m serious Bradley, you can’t knot me.” Maverick looks over his shoulder, expression unimpressed.

This is super hot. It's not a tag on this, but this hit me right in the "just the tip" kink.

show me the way home by MilesbyMicah 8k, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings (underage) male lactation, breeding kink

Maverick knows that Bradley's too old for this. Too old to come seeking the warmth of Maverick's tits in the middle of the night. But he's never been able to say no to his boy.

This is very hot, and I'm a big fan of how messed up and codependent their relationship is. I recommend reading both this and the follow up!

let the love light guide me home by MilesbyMicah 17k, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings male lactation, voyeurism, semi-public sex, reconciliation sex

Maverick and Bradley haven’t spoken in years. Circumstances beyond their control have forced them into proximity, and it’s a race to see what will spark up first; the years of hostility or the half-formed mating claim that still lingers between them. The sequel to 'show me the way home', please read that one first!

Hot and emotional, I absolutely loved this. This is set during TGM, but there's a flashback to them having sex when Bradley is 18.

As we dance with the devil tonight, don't you dare look at him in the eye by Fuddlewuddle 2.5k, E, no archive warnings apply background goose/mav, cuckolding, male lactation, mommy kink, mentions of breeding/mpreg

He’s not sure why he does it. One second he’s laying there with Bradley wrapped around him—comforted by the presence of his big strong boy sleeping at his back, while Goose was away with work—and the next he’s moving Bradley’s large paw; thick fingers so much bigger than his own even though he’s barely eighteen years of age. He runs his own fingers under Bradley’s, pushing them upwards one by one, like the tick of a clock, before sweeping his palm over the back of Bradley’s hand—where the veins will get more pronounced as he grows further into his Alpha body—and moving it to between his legs; Bradley’s paw now offering his pussy a comforting embrace.

This is hot and a little fucked up, just how I like my Roosmav.

in between what's already done by crawsley 5k, E, creator chose not to use archive warnings extremely dubious consent, daddy kink

“We aren’t doing this,” Maverick says, firmly, and he’s tensing like he’s about to move, about to shove Rooster off of him, push him away like he pushed him away before, when all Rooster had wanted was some guidance, some help, some love and kindness and— Rooster bears him to the ground, right there on the rug in the entryway.

I know I've already recced this one in a previous post, but a Roosmav omegaverse rec list just wouldn't be complete without this. A deserved fandom favorite.

[revelinginthedarkrooms]

Saying this once and on this blog because the topic is literally the most relevant here—

If you think even for a SECOND that censorship of AO3 won’t include openly queer spaces, you’re so fucking wrong it hurts.

Does nobody remember the Purges of the early-to-late 2000’s? Does nobody remember the FanFiction.net Purge? The Tumblr Porn Ban? Fanfic history is about to repeat itself if we don’t step up to try and stop it.

Censorship of any kind will not end with just the issue that it claims to fix. It will encompass everything in the name of “dear heavens, won’t someone please think of the children!”

That’s not to say I don’t think removing any content is bad - there are circumstances that allow for content removal simply because it’s too gross or too disturbing for the general public’s eye. But you need to understand that they will not stop once it’s gone.

There are already ways to report the nasty shit and get it taken off the site. There are already ways you can avoid it if you feel very strongly about it or if it’s a triggering subject. As an sa and sh survivor myself there are certain topics that I always have filtered just for my own mental health. And guess what? It works. I’ve never come across something poorly tagged that triggers relapses. AO3’s tagging system works.

It won’t just be the problematic elements such as cp or graphic guro. It will spread to queer fic, stories of trans discovery, even of someone just living their life in a fur suit because they find enjoyment out of it! Your niches will not be safe! Nobody will be!

Maybe I’m just jaded and upset because I was old enough to remember - and experience - the bans. I remember how devastating it was to self-expressive works of art, to people just writing smut because they want to.

Do you honestly want the site you love to be so censored the fucking CCP looks like a paradigm of freedom of expression? Do you honestly not care that hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of people’s work, majorly non-problematic, will be affected?

If you’re about to bemoan the fact that this sounds super melodramatic and that I’m ‘overreacting’, then fine. Good for you. But the issue can not be overstated. We are heading in a truly dark direction of fandom history that unfortunately holds echoes of what we’ve gone through before. And the fact that some are defending TG’s desires? Even knowing she’s a bad faith actor who doesn’t give a shit about fandom culture? Makes me want to throw up.

Anybody about to accuse me of being a pedophile just because I don’t support breaking something that’s already designed - and proven - to work for those who want to use it is very welcome to just block me. I am not a pedophile for wanting a (legally sound) smut-safe space. I’ve seen y’all throwing that around like a frisbee at a picnic, and let me just say as an actual abuse survivor I think you’re full of shit and you need to get off the internet.

Do the right thing. Do what you can to stop Tiffany G from being elected.

Rant over. I’m fucking exhausted.

[palimpsessed]

15 Questions/15 People

@theearlgreymage @johnwgrey @artsyunderstudy @shrekgogurt @raenestee @yellobb @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @prettylightsbigcity @thewholelemon @fatalfangirl @aroace-genderfluid-sheep thank you all so much for tagging me! I have loved getting to read your responses and learn more about you all 🥰

Are you named after anyone? Nope. Although if I’d been assigned male at birth, my parents would have named me Ross after Ross Poldark because they were big into Poldark during the original tv series and owned the books. I grew up in the nineties when my only reference points for Ross were: Dress for Less and Geller from Friends, so I don’t think I would’ve liked having that name. My sister would have been Tristan after the character from All Creatures Great and Small. Makes me feel so old knowing both of those shows were recently revived…

When was the last time you cried? Thursday when I found out a very lovely someone made one of my fics into an actual book because they loved it so much they wanted to have a physical copy to read! (I don’t know if they’re okay with me saying who they are so I am being intentionally vague.)

Do you have kids? No. Please do not make me be responsible for another human life.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don’t think I know how to have a conversation without it.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? I have no idea.

What’s your eye color? Brown. I think I’ve had them described as root beer brown before?

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy ending

Any special talents? I’ve always been a pal of few words (verbally), but I know how to make them count for comedic timing. My grandpa called me a pistol when I was like 2 or 3 and I made my sister spit take so often at the dinner table, everyone in my family told me I should become a comedian.

I can read backwards. When I focus on it, I can talk backwards too—whole sentences not single words. I always thought it would be fun to try to have conversations, but idk who I’d talk to?

I’m ambidextrous.

Where were you born? About thirty miles from here.

What are your hobbies? My main hobby at present is just fandom. Writing, making art, reading, discord, tumblr... it all revolves around Snowbaz and the fandom. If I’m not doing any of that, I’m probably descending slowly into madness from not knowing what else to do with myself. Like. What do people do? I used to tap and I used to play drums. I enjoy baking but my kitchen is too small to make it worth my while most of the time.

Do you have any pets? Not at the moment. I had two cats who were my babies. Mr. T, who passed away in 2018, and Batgirl, who passed away in 2020. I think I’m feeling ready to get another cat, but I can’t have pets in my apartment and also I don’t think I can afford to take care of an animal.

What sports do you play/have you played? I briefly played basketball in sixth (?) grade. But I got freaked out when we were going to start playing in actual games so I dropped out. I played soccer for one year, was always put in the goal, got bored, and picked at the grass as my entertainment. I did try volleyball and badminton but never went anywhere with either. I was always told that I had swimmers shoulders, but was too scared to try the swim team. I really don’t like athletic competition, it would seem.

How tall are you? You know, when I was a little kid, some test said I was going to be 6’7”. I…am not. 😂

Favorite subject at school? Fuck me. English? I have a degree in it, so let’s say that. Actually, it was probably Book Arts in college. I remember dreading the work of school, but loving the rush of academic success. So maybe the real answer is, whatever I was doing best in.

Dream job? This is what is known as an oxymoron. Honestly, my current job is pretty ideal as jobs go: I walk to work, I have a four day week, I’m union, I’m pensioned, I’m hourly, I work for my city government so it’s non profit and I know there’s a point to what I’m doing, my boss is very hands off, and I have free time for...tumblr tag games.

Tagging to share if you want or to say hi if you don’t. Hi!! @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @excalisbury @foolofabookwyrm-activated @ivelovedhimthroughworse @jbrrring @moodandmist @martsonmars @mostlymaudlin @nightimedreamersworld @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @stardustasincocaine @tea-brigade @urban-sith @wetheformidables

[ginoeh]

Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged by the lovely @tj-dragonblade , thank you!

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don’t care about anymore?

As a teenager... well, that was quite a while ago lol. I suppose that would have been Harry/Draco. First fandom, first queer pairing, first smut stories. I was such a sweet sweet summer child XD The early 00s were wild

Which ship would you consider your first one?

Soooo. Funny story. Way back when, I got into fanfiction via fanfiction.net. You know how their filter system is bad/non-existent? Yeah. Little me, on her first outing to ffnet, didn’t know how to operate the character settings. I clicked on the first story on the top of the first page of the HP section. It was a Snape/Hermione star-crossed lover deal. It flash-fried my brain, taught me content curation in a crash course and incidentially made me partial to the ship for quite a few years...

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

See above lol. I will never ever forget the experience. I tried to find that story later for downloading (like an ugly beloved keepsake ig lol) but never managed.

If you mean fanfic I've written: it was gen.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

Kakashi/Obito

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

Nope. Scraped by a few times since I entered the tumblr bubble but managed to stay out of it. I don’t get the point. It's freaking fictional characters in fictional worlds. Go touch grass or something instead... (but you will make me fucking mad if you try to drag me into these things with wild ad hom accusations based on what i ship or dont ship)

Did you used to have a NOTP or have one currently?

No, not really. It's only ever preferences. There are some I dislike due to my own hc/inability to suspend my disbelief but I wouldn’t call them NOTPs. I just don’t read them.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

Dreamling

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I actually dislike the term OTP. It's a scale of preferences for me. There are few (read: none) fav characters that I can only see with one love interest (and anyway, sometimes i do prefer plot over love story. wild take i know) and the more time I spend in a fandom the more I diversify.

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting into?

I don’t get this question, sorry. If I'm interested, I'll search it out. Even if the fandom is old. AO3 is an archive for exactly that reason.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they’re kind of interesting?

Not that I can think of, at the moment!

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Probably? I'm not clear on what all one is getting cancelled over this week/month/year by which group of 'concerend bystanders'. I suppose I might get cancelled for the mentioned Hermione/Snape?

What is your favourite crack ship?

I'm so glad you asked. It's clearly Dream/Helm (thank you for that @writing-for-life ) Or Gollum/The One Ring (thanks go to Neil himself here). Or - actually, never mind lol.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

At the moment it's Dreamling. But I cycle through fandoms/pairings periodically...(btw im looking for more Johanna/Death? If anyone could point me in the right direction?)

What do most of your ships have in common?

At least one character has a dark/unknown/violent/tragic past (they can be victim or perpetrator!!! I'm all for character development babey)

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I don’t hate ships? As I said above. Possibly the reduction on 'I can fix him/her' or 'my love will save him/her from depression/"the darkness"/etc.' but that is mostly a matter of the author's style of crafting characterization and plot and has nothing to do with the ship itself.

I'm tagging @bazzybelle , @seiya-starsniper , @writing-for-life if you want to or maybe just point me towards your post if you've done it already?

[drpeppertummy]

mobile-friendly request info:

My inbox is always open to requests and suggestions. They can be specific scenarios or just loose ideas. I don’t promise that I’ll draw them! If I like them, I’ll draw them. Might not be right away. Might save it for when the mood is right. Might take a long time. If you want me to ping you if/when I draw it, let me know. If you’re not sure what kinds of kink things I’m interested in drawing, [check here.]

I am not currently taking commissions. If that changes, I will make a post for it.

WHAT I WILL NOT DRAW:

I’m not fucking drawing kids! All characters I draw are in like their mid-20s at youngest and fully adult-bodied (no ancient vampires stuck as kids, etc).

Scenarios between relatives. By scenarios I mean like one feeding the other, eating the other, rubbing the other’s belly, etc

Non-furry animals. I think they call that feral?

Anything explicitly sexual, nudity, etc.

Any characters from media. OCs only. Nothing fandom-related, nothing from games, tv, etc. Don’t ask for it, it’ll only be deleted

Please don’t include searchable names or titles in a request even if you aren’t asking for art of that particular thing. That’s exactly what got me into trouble on my old blog

Your or another person’s oc. This is something I’d rather do as a commission.

Anything from the “not at all” list on my interests page (linked above)

Please don't ask for specific physical features. I usually use either my own ocs or whatever generic little guy comes to mind. You won't trick me into drawing your oc

NOTE: the more complicated a request is (sequence of multiple panels, lots of characters involved, etc) the more likely I am to either put it off for ages or just not draw it

WHAT I WILL (potentially!!!) DRAW:

My own ocs as well as generic nonspecific characters (ex. featureless cartoon guys, random nameless dragons, generic catpeople, etc)

Anything from the “yes” and “sometimes” lists on my interest page

WRITING REQUESTS:

Same boundaries as drawing. No kids, no incest, no sex, etc

Like drawing: I’m always open to ideas, but I promise nothing, & it can take god knows how long

Only writing my own OCs. There are a handful I use regularly but I’m not opposed to branching out. [Toyhouse] for some kink-related oc info

Pretty much only writing stuffing and/or tummyache scenarios. Preg only for a chosen few. Inflation unlikely. No vore

Right now the only OCs I’m interested in writing pregnant are Sunny (cis manlet), Yankers (trans manlet), and Webster (spider manlet)

If I draw/write your request, a reblog is appreciated! But I won’t whine if you don’t. I understand that we don’t all have kink blogs, or the drawing may not fit in on your blog, or you just might not like how it came out, etc.

I tag requests as #suggestion and asks as #message.

[ollyou]

Sorry another non-art post but I wanted to point out to some very disrespectful people that this is NOT an art only account > <“

This account was actually made to be mostly rambles, and just because I like pmtok and center most of my stuff around olly doesnt mean thats all i do either! I never wanted to be a pmtok-only artist; i just draw what i want to rather than what other people like to see

I’m a rambler at heart and if you dont like that then you shouldnt follow me, or just mute #rambling !! Alternatively if you don’t want to see any negative posts, mute #negative ^_^

Tbh as someone who has never had an anonymous ask box before joining the pmtok fandom, stuff like this just comes off as really mean and dehumanizing?? Please unfollow me if you have a mindset like this. I constantly tell people to just send me fun asks and stop trying to order me around like a slave and then people who claim to follow me pull this…. 😓 I hope you know that if you think you’re entitled to my artwork and can tell me to “shut the fuck up” for simply speaking how I feel about the constant harassment the toxic side of the fandom has given me and my friends/mutuals, I do not like you and you’re not allowed to enjoy my art tbh….

There is no “we”, just this rude person who likes to pretend they are a fan. But no fan acts like this. I want my fanbase to be a nice and welcoming place full of gentle and friendly people, not entitled bullies who treat me like their slave. Keep it to yourself if you don’t enjoy my rambling, please, or just unfollow/mute the tags I appropriately place for these sorts of posts <3

I blocked this anon immediately after screenshotting this but tbh I’m not sure if that blocks their actual account too… cause I wanna make sure they can’t view my account if all they want to do is dehumanize me. Idk it’s really weird how this fandom acts sometimes which is why I’m so strict with my dni and byf stuff but people don’t listen most of the time…. Agh!!

I make one post telling the people harassing and stalking me for several months if not years to leave me and my friends alone, and these people suddenly get the idea I’m just an art-making machine…. It’s frustrating but in the end I just want to receive nice anon asks. I appreciate all the friendly anons!! Thank you so much. You make my days so much better. I feel bad that sometimes I can’t respond to them, but I read them all. I save them all. I love them all <:)

But yeah… please unfollow me if you’re unwilling to just mute my #rambling and #negative tags when all you do is complain I don’t post art enough…. Also idk, if you want me to post more art then…? Why not you compliment my art? What’s the point of not ever supporting my art when I post it, then complaining and belittling me when I don’t post it? That’s why I block these people. Very very disrespectful.

I know it’s best to just ignore this stuff! And I do. I ignore a lot of it. It is quite annoying, but I ignore it so I can give the nice people room to speak. It’s really rare that I actually speak up about this stuff tbh. I’m almost positive these are all just the same few people block evading me via VPN anyway hahahah. Especially since I’ve seen them do that, too.

Also, I do recognize it’s very likely no one will read this all the way. But I usually don’t write things expecting people to read them! I mostly write stuff for myself, like a journal of some sorts. :D It’s probably a bit weird when I advertise my art and whatnot too, but y’know. I don’t want my tumblr blog to be just… some soulless art dump. I’m not looking for attention, just respect, I guess.

Ah, in the end I’m sure those bullies will use this to fuel their constant harassment of me anonymously (because they too cowardly to hate me normally, I guess), but tbh they just kind of… complain about a singular post I’ll make for the first time in forever for days straight and act like that type of post is all I make, so I guess there’s no appeasing them. Not that I even want to make happy the people who treat me as subhuman.

Idk why people are so entertained by being assholes, but maybe that’s just the naive part of me thinking! I’m no grown adult or anything. In my head I am just a little baby still learning about the online world as I was raised very sheltered from all that stuff and avoided toxicity wherever I went… 💦 I am a tumblr baby! Sorry..!

Ah!!!! Rambling too much. Hahah. Thank you for reading. Hey, if you got this far, why not you send me a friendly anon message? Gotta clean out all the garbage from within my inbox, though I think I’ve done a pretty good job at it as is.

I will post again when I have something to say or more art to share!!!!

[darks-ink]

Matt the Cat

Based on the “Matt is a cat” AU by @somegrumpynerd and @keeningthoughts / @keen-arts. A lot of scenes and plot points are taken from their various posts, as well as some (bits of) conversation. I've really enjoyed seeing their posts cross my dash and while watching Uno: Infinite this weekend got inspired to take a shot at writing a short one-shot for the AU. Anyway I kinda missed the mark on the "short" part but it was fun, so. Enjoy!

Sometimes you just have to revisit the fandom that first got you to write fanfics, back in *checks watch* 2016. Anyway I also haven't written AH fics since then so apologies if I didn't quite get everyone right.

Fandom: Achievement Hunter (RPF) Rating: Gen Words: 8,699 Additional Tags: Fake AH Crew, Alternate universe, Humor, Friendship, Mistaken identity, Canon-typical shenanigans

Summary: Hearing the stories of new crew members Jeremy and Trevor, the Fakes quickly decided that this "Matt" must be their cat. It was the only logical assumption! They were mistaken.

Also on AO3!

---

The door clicked shut behind Trevor, and he looked at the people already in the room. The Fake AH Crew were a fearsome presence, even if he had already been accepted into their midst. Him, Jeremy, standing by his side, and Matt, safe at home.

“Finally,” the big man himself, Geoff Ramsey, sighed, waving the two of them further into the room. “Come on, grab a seat. We’ve been waiting forever.”

“Well, you could’ve sent the address a little earlier than five minutes beforehand,” Jeremy snarked back, then immediately went pale as they realized what they’d done.

But Jack Pattillo, the crew’s second, just grinned back. “I like these guys. We’re keeping them, right?”

“We hired them already, I sure fucking hope so.” Geoff shot her a tired look, beckoning them inwards. “Come on dickheads, go sit down.”

“You already gave them the address to our apartment anyway,” Michael Jones pointed out, leaning back in his chair. “Bit late to tell them to fuck off now.”

“Unless we killed them,” Jack said, fake-casually.

“Please don’t.” Trevor pulled back a chair so he could sit down, and saw Jeremy doing the same from the corner of his eye. “I like being alive, personally.”

Jack hummed thoughtfully. “And it’s just the two of you, right?”

“Us, and Matt back home,” Jeremy answered dutifully, shifting in their seat to look more casual than they likely felt. “We’re all sharing the same apartment.”

“Right,” she said, a slight crease between her brows. Trevor couldn’t place its meaning. He knew it wasn’t something about the three of them living together—the crew had a similar living situation—but he didn’t know what else. Maybe that Matt, as the hacker, was staying home instead of coming over to meet the rest of the crew? Maybe they should’ve brought him here, and then back home to his set-up?

“Anyway, Geoff, go ahead and tell us the plan before you burst.”

He heaved a gusty sigh. “Yes, Jack, thank you. If we can all please focus on the job instead of the new hires?” Geoff looked around the room, then nodded resolutely. “Good. Here’s what we’re doing—"

---

Lindsay shifted slightly, leaning against their car, fingers rattling against the side of their phone. On its screen a baking video played, which they were half paying attention to. Well. Maybe a little more than half. That was fine! They could multi-task.

It had been a few weeks since their new crew members, Trevor and Jeremy, had joined. They were glad for it—the two of them had been a lot of fun to have around, and had come out of their shells quickly. Trevor looked so serious and dry but had quickly shown himself to have quick wit and a delightful weirdness to him, and Lindsay wouldn’t say no to having another non-binary crewmember around, especially one as fun as Jeremy.

Not to mention the sheer chaos those two had introduced by mentioning someone called “Matt”, who apparently lived with them, and then never saying anything else about him. Well. They thought Matt was a him. Quite frankly, they didn’t know anything about this ‘Matt’, outside of the fact that he—they?—lived with Trevor and Jeremy.

The sound of a car door thrown shut made them look up, automatically pausing the video on their phone. Speak of the devil.

Trevor threw the other door of the car shut, turning to Jeremy. “Did you give Matt water before we left?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy confirmed, shouldering their bag. “He was sleeping on the desk again when I went in.”

“He’s gonna hurt himself one of these days doing that,” Trevor grumbled, shaking his head. “He has a perfectly fine bed!”

“But why sleep in a bed if you can sleep on a desk?” Jeremy grinned, and Trevor just clicked his tongue in response as the two of them came up to Lindsay. “Hey Lindsay. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

They stuffed their phone into their pocket, the newly gained information running through their mind. “It’s fine, that’s the downside of not having you guys in the apartment yet.”

It all made sense now! Obviously Matt wasn’t a person who Trevor and Jeremy were keeping in the dark—or had informed without telling the crew. Matt was a pet. And, by the sound of it, he might’ve been a cat, even! What other pet would sleep on desks?

“True, true.” Trevor nodded at the car they were still leaning against. “Are we driving further on from here?”

“Nah, it’s just around the corner.” They pushed themself away from the car, and mentally shoved the newly gained revelation away as well. Excitement about cats would have to wait until after the job. But! They would definitely bring it up with the rest. If they invited Trevor and Jeremy into the apartment with them, obviously the two would bring their cat, and then the crew would finally have their long-awaited pet!

And Gavin would be thrilled if they gained a crew cat!

---

“You can’t just keeping saying he’s a cat without proof, Lindsay!”

“Why not? It’s the truth!” They waved their hands around, gesturing wildly. “Besides, what proof? They said it, isn’t that enough?”

“Did they say Matt is a cat, though?” Gavin pointed out, frowning. He didn’t think Lindsay would lie about this on purpose, but, well. Sometimes things happened.

A lot of times things happened. This crew really wasn’t good at clear communication.

They rolled their eyes. “As good as. But if you don’t believe me, ask yourself.” They pointed. “See, there’s Jeremy.”

He followed their finger and, indeed, there was Jeremy. Gavin waved at them, “Oi, Jeremy! Come over for a sec, will you?”

“Uh, yeah, I got a moment.” They came over, looking between him and Lindsay. “What’s up, Gav?”

“You have a cat, right?” Lindsay asked, grinning at Jeremy. “Can we see a picture?”

Jeremy blinked, visibly confused. “Yeah…? I mean, sure.” They pulled their phone out of their pocket, swiftly unlocking it and swiping through the gallery.

“Let’s see… Oh, this is a good one.” They turned the phone around, showing the two of them the screen. On it was a photo of a longhaired tabby, lazing on a cat bed. “One of the few times I’ve been him actually using that cat bed.”

“Oh, what a cutie!” Lindsay complimented, adoration heavy in their voice. And Gavin had to agree. It was a very cute cat. He… He really kind of missed having a cat. Unfortunately neither he nor Lindsay had been able to convince Geoff to get a shared crew cat for the apartment. Or any kind of pet, really. Geoff kept countering that having the lot of them was basically the same as having pets.

“He’s great,” he chimed in. “Thanks Jeremy. If you guys ever move in, will you bring him?”

“That’s the plan.” Jeremy pocketed their phone again, looking between the two of them. “Uh. Was that all?”

He offered an awkward grin. “Yeah, sorry. We were just curious.”

“Ah, that’s fine. I wasn’t in a rush anyway.” Jeremy inclined their head. “But I’ll get going then. Have a good day, Gav, Lindsay.”

“You too! Thanks for showing us your cat!” Lindsay waved them goodbye, and they watched as Jeremy left. “See, I told you.”

Michael snorted, still lounging on a chair behind them. “Yeah Gav, they told you. That’s what you get for doubting Lindsay.”

“Like you believed them,” Gavin countered, rolling his eyes. “Come on. It’s not my bloody fault this crew is rife with miscommunication.”

“Well, not this time.” Lindsay pulled a haughty expression, looking down on him. “Next time, you’ll believe me right from the start.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” he agreed easily. “Next time, no matter how ridiculous, I won’t doubt you.”

---

“Ugh,” Geoff grumbled, pulling the next sheet of paper towards him. He had hired an entire team of people to deal with the boring bureaucratic part of running a criminal gang, and still he got tons of paperwork to deal with.

Stupid. Why had he ever agreed to this stupid idea. He should’ve just made Jack boss. She never had to deal with this bullshit anymore. He would’ve made a great right-hand man to her!

He looked at the paper. Ah. Crew payroll. At least this was easy. Just check over it to make sure everything made sense, then sign off on it. Easy peasy.

Oh, yeah. This was the first payroll since they hired Trevor and Jeremy, wasn’t it? He’d have to take a good look at it, then, to make sure everything was right. He trusted the B-team to do everything right, but this would be just the right moment to sneak something in.

Yep, both of their new crew members had been added. Good, good. And. Uh.

“Huh,” he muttered, frowning at the sheet of paper. A third new name had joined the list. Right between Jeremy and Trevor was Matt. As in. Their cat, Matt? He’d even been given the same kind of payout as Jeremy and Trevor, as a new full-time crew member.

“That… makes no sense.” He heaved a sigh, then pushed himself up from his desk. He’d probably been working too long. Time to get a reality check from his beloved second.

Barely remembering to grab the crew’s payroll before leaving his office, he wandered over to the living room. There he found Jack and Michael, playing a game on the tv. Instead of looking what they were doing, he just held out the sheet of paper, blocking her view. “Jack.”

“Geoffrey,” she responded, leaning to the side to look around the paper. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“So am I.” He shook the paper, the sound of it lost over the noise of the tv. “Why are we paying a cat?”

“Huh?” She looked away from the tv for a moment, then swore as Michael cackled. “Why are you asking me? B-team takes care of all that stuff.”

Michael snorted over the sound of his mashing buttons on a controller. “That cat must be doing good work, Geoff.”

“Must be,” Jack agreed absent-mindedly, leaning a little further to the side. “Geoff, seriously, move.”

He looked between the two of them, then back to the sheet of paper. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, but stepped away. Apparently he was the only one in this goddamn crew who thought it was weird they were including a cat in their payroll.

Well. Whatever. He still had plenty of boring paperwork to work through. If he spent any time on figuring out this bullshit he’d just lose even more time to it. As long as that goddamn cat wasn’t earning more than the rest of the crew it wasn’t worth the hassle.

He dropped the paper back onto his desk and signed it with a flourish.

---

“—so we’re mostly casual about the stuff here,” Lindsay explained as they showed him the kitchen in the crew’s shared apartment. “Like, don’t touch anything that anybody signed, but otherwise it’s pretty much a free game.”

“Right.” Alfredo nodded. “Even though I don’t live here?”

“Well, it’s not like you’re the only one,” they pointed out, quirking an eyebrow at him. “Trevor and Jeremy have been with us for months and they’re still living in their own apartment. Besides,” they paused to give him a look, “you’ll probably lose your own stuff to the crew as well when you put it in there.”

“Fair enough.” He looked away at the rustling of a jacket to see Trevor coming up to them.

“You’re good taking care of Fredo’s introduction alone, right, Lindsay?” he asked as he pulled on his coat.

They hummed. “Yeah, I’ve got it.” Trevor nodded and turned around.

“Oh, and Trevor,” they interrupted him, waiting a moment for him to turn back around. “Please tell Matt he’s a good boy for me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Trevor agreed easily, nodding again. “I’ll head out then. See you two tomorrow.”

“See you,” Alfredo replied automatically, as he turned that conversational twist in his mind. Tell Matt he was a good boy…? Who the hell was Matt?

Lindsay, clearly picking up on his thoughts, shot him a wide grin. “Matt is Trevor and Jeremy’s cat, and he’s the main reason why they haven’t moved into the apartment yet. There’s a little more logistics involved in moving in two people and their cat, especially if all three are used to sharing a tiny apartment.”

“Right,” he agreed. That made sense. “And you just… ask them to tell their cat he’s a good boy for you?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely.” They shrugged, unrepentant. “That, or I ask them to give him a hug for me. Man, I can’t wait for them to move in. I really want to give that cat a pat myself.”

“You haven’t met him?” he asked skeptically, quirking a brow. “How do you know he’s a good cat?”

“All cats are good cats, duh.” They winked. “And I’ve seen photos, and heard the boys talking about him. Great cat.”

Well, fair enough. He couldn’t argue with that.

---

Jeremy dropped another empty box on the floor of Matt’s office. “There, do you think that’s enough?”

“Should be,” he agreed, spinning around on his chair. “If not we’ll have to grab another box or two. Do we have enough for the rest of the house?”

“Trevor is coming back with a few more boxes, that should do the trick.” They looked over the boxes littered around the office, some half-filled with stuff that could be packed away already. “You got us a storage box to put the house stuff in, right?”

Matt gasped dramatically. “Jeremy, you doubt me? I said I would take care of it and I did.”

“Just making sure,” they assured him, rolling their eyes. “You’re almost done with that hacking thing, right? So we can focus on packing afterwards?”

“Yeah, the last thing is running now. After that it’s just the finishing touches and that should be that.”

“Good, good.” The lock of their front door rattled, and Jeremy tensed for a moment before recognizing the sound of a key in the lock. “Hey Treh.”

“Hey Jer,” Trevor called back from the door, soon followed by the click of the door and then the sound of cardboard hitting the floor. “Thanks for letting me in.”

“No problem man,” they said, grinning at him as he walked in the office. “Everything went well?”

Trevor hummed. “Yeah. They’ll clear out a room for us tomorrow, and one for Fredo as well. Oh, also…”

He leaned over, patting Matt on the head. “That’s from Gavin. He asked me to tell you you’re a “good good boy”.”

“Oh.” Matt grinned wide, a pleased expression on his face. “Thanks. I should tell everyone thanks once we’re there. They’ve been so nice to us.”

“Especially to you,” Trevor said, clicking his tongue. “Maybe I want to be told I’m a good boy for once instead of always acting like the messenger.”

“You are a good boy, Trevor.” Jeremy grinned at him, even as they were connecting the dots in their head. Oh my god. The reason why everyone in the crew was acting so weird was because they thought Matt was a cat. That is why Lindsay and Gavin had asked to see their cat all that time ago.

Oh, this was just too funny! They would have to make sure that no one saw Matt during the move. It had been almost six months since they had joined the crew and no one had figured it out yet. If they kept that up while living in the same apartment…

They hastily shoved down their chuckles. Couldn’t let Trevor and Matt in on the joke. Their reactions would be so good if they found out at the same time as the crew.

“We should make sure Buddy stays in the office,” they pointed out, during the lull in conversation. “At least that first week or so, until he’s settled in.”

“Oh, yeah, good idea,” Trevor agreed, nodding. “Wouldn’t want him to get in anyone’s way.”

“Except mine, apparently,” Matt grumped half-heartedly. “But yeah. That way he won’t accidentally escape the apartment either. And having a familiar person and place will probably help.”

“Exactly.” Alright. Step one: complete. Oh, this was so exciting!

---

Lindsay reclined further in their chair, casually swiping at their phone screen to scroll. Opposite of them Trevor was sitting more neatly, but equally casual, leafing through a book. It had only been a few days since he and Jeremy had moved in, but already they wandered around the house like they had lived there for months.

Well, not entirely surprising, considering that they’d been around for months already, but still. The only sad part was that they hadn’t seen Matt yet. Apparently the cat was staying in their room for now.

They hear a door open and looked up automatically; Michael was supposed to be done soon with his job. But as they did so, they realized that’s not what they heard. The front door had a different sound to it, a click of the lock being undone and re-locked. This was the sound of one of the room doors.

Trevor looked up from his book as well, and together they watch a bedraggled long-haired man wander out of the hallway with bedrooms. The man, seeing them looking, waved as he headed towards the kitchen.

Before they can say anything, Trevor called out to him, “Make sure to grab a snack while you’re out there, Matt!”

“Yeah,” the man—Matt?!?—called back, “I was planning to.”

“Okay, just making sure.” And with that, Trevor just turned back to his book. Zero comment.

Lindsay looked back to the kitchen once more, taking in the man standing there. Long dark hair, big loose clothing, casually grabbing a snack to go with his refilled bottle of water.

Huh. Matt must be some kind of werecat, then. Sometimes a cat, sometimes a human person. But if no one had mentioned it clearly they didn’t want to talk about it, and, well. Lindsay wasn’t rude enough to ignore that.

Buuuut they can bring it up later when Gavin gets back. He would hear her out, no problem.

---

Alfredo grunted, blinking up at his ceiling. Not that he could see it in the dark, but still. Goddamn him.

No. Goddamn Lindsay and Gavin for those stupid damn stories. For days they’ve been telling everyone in the crew—bar Jeremy and Trevor—about Matt the cat not being an actual cat but a fucking werecat. Like, really?

But apparently the thought had wormed its way into his head anyway, because he can’t stop thinking about it now. He had started thinking that they’re pulling some kind of elaborate prank on him, because those two had moved in at the same time as him yet he hadn’t seen their cat in the past few days, but no, apparently not. Because today a long-haired brown cat had run out of their room, only to be grabbed by Jeremy and escorted back in, chastised for leaving. And Alfredo knew he heard Jeremy say the name Matt when they went into their room.

Ugh. Well, if he’s up he might as well grab himself a drink from the kitchen. It was—he looked at his alarm—way past midnight, so no one else should be up. That should save him from an awkward conversation.

He rolled out of bed, yawning widely and he pulled open his door. At least there was enough ambient light in the apartment itself that he didn’t need to turn on any lights. The last thing he needed now was to wake himself up even further with that bullshit.

But, really. A werecat? Their only evidence was that Lindsay had apparently seen Matt as a long-haired man, and that Trevor had greeted him by name. Gavin, despite the vehemence with which he agreed with Lindsay, apparently didn’t even have any proof himself. He just believed them without a doubt.

Unbelievable, Alfredo thought to himself, and then realized there was already someone in the kitchen just before he stepped inside.

He yelped, throwing his hand over his mouth immediately to muffle the sound.

On the other side of the open doorway the burglar(?) jerked, startled by the sound, almost dropping whatever they were holding in their hand. A… bottle? Huh.

“Oh my god,” the man gasped out, quiet as a whisper. “Alfredo, you scared the shit out of me.”

“What—?” he hissed back, automatically matching volume. What kind of intruder would say that? Or know his name?

“Just grabbing a drink,” the man held up the bottle of water. The… The long-haired man. Oh, no. No no no. “Sorry, I need to finish up some hacking stuff for tomorrow. Talk later?”

“Uh, yeah, sure man,” he replied automatically, taking in the stranger’s appearance. Fuck him. Lindsay had been right. There was the undeniable evidence: the man with long dark hair, matching the cat he’d seen exactly.

What the fuck.

He definitely should’ve stayed in fucking bed, fuck him.

---

Jeremy leaned back in their chair, watching the tv with the rest of the crew. The game they had been playing had turned extremely competitive, with plenty of yelling and screaming, and Jeremy had bailed so they could oversee the chaos.

Specifically, so they could see the incoming chaos Matt was about to bring, since the yelling was sure to draw him out.

They had been feeding the flames all week, and still no one had properly connected the dots. They had moved in while the rest of the crew was away on a sudden mission, and Matt had mostly been busy in his new office—their shared room—ever since.

There had been a close call a day or two ago, when Buddy had escaped from their room, but luckily Jeremy had been able to grab him and bring him back before Matt could. If those two had been seen together the game would’ve surely been over.

Honestly, luck had been on their side anyway. Lindsay had apparently seen him but assumed he was a werecat, of all things, and Gavin had just? gone with their assumption. For some reason. And then, a few days later, Alfredo had also seen Matt and, instead of refuting Lindsay’s assumption, and given in and gone along with them.

It was better than Jeremy could’ve planned themself. Absolutely brilliant.

Either way, things were surely coming to an end… because there came Matt. No one else had seen him yet, too focused on playing or watching the ongoing game.

He stood behind the couch, looming over Gavin, Michael, Geoff, and Jack. And then, completely unknowing of what he was about to unleash, very casually asked, “Hey guys, who’s winning?”

They were glad that they had braced themself, because the ensuing screaming was deafening. Even Trevor yelled, probably startled by everyone else. Matt himself jerked back several steps. Hell, Geoff startled so badly he threw himself off of the couch entirely, and Gavin had crawled half on top of Michael.

This was so good. They were so glad they had hung back to watch this happen.

“Hey Matt,” they casually greeted, ignoring the cacophony and barely holding in their laughter.

“See!” Lindsay yelled, suddenly, victoriously, pointing a finger at Matt. “See! I told you guys he was a werecat!”

“A what?” Matt blinked at them, even as Michael shoved Gavin off of his lap and onto Geoff, ignoring the resulting squawking. “Huh?”

Trevor twitched, blinking in confusion. “Yeah, what the hell are you talking about?”

No longer could they hold it in. Jeremy burst out in cackling laughter, and soon enough Matt begun chuckling along, cautiously.

“Get off me, idiot,” Geoff grumbled, pushing Gavin off of himself so he could get up. “Someone help me up.”

“You’re not that old, Geoffrey,” Jack complained, but offered him a hand anyway. “Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is happening?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you.” Matt shook his head, looking over at Trevor, and then at Jeremy themself, still laughing. “But I think I know who’s responsible for it.”

“Am not!” they immediately denied. “I just found out a week ago, before we moved in. And I haven’t even done anything! The stories fed themselves.”

Geoff found his balance standing up, then stared at Matt for a long moment. “Well,” he finally said, “I guess that this makes more sense than having a cat on the payroll.”

“You thought I was a cat?” Matt asked incredulously. Then, looking at the expressions of everyone around the room, he repeated, louder, “You all thought I was a cat?”

“Well! We all saw the bloody cat, didn’t we!” Gavin gestured wildly, still lying on the floor where Geoff had dumped him. “It just made sense!”

Matt blinked down at him. “The cat? You mean Buddy? You all thought I was Buddy?”

Lindsay gasped. “His name is Buddy? That’s adorable!”

“How did no one here realize?” Trevor blinked at everyone, wide-eyed. “For six months, none of you realized that Matt was a human, or that he was our hacker. Who did you guys think was doing all that work?”

“Uh.” Everyone looked over at Geoff, who shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really think about it. B-team probably hired someone, or something.”

Behind him on the couch, Jack groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Geoff. Really?”

“What? I was right, wasn’t I?” He gestured over at Matt. “Someone got hired to take care of it. All good!”

“I still can’t believe everyone in this crew thought I was a cat.” Matt shook his head. “I mean—Gavin, we’ve been texting for weeks.”

Gavin, in the middle of getting up from the floor, squawked defensively. “Well! I thought it was just Jeremy having a laugh, pretending to text as the cat! We just texted “meow” back and forth!”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Michael waved Gavin down. “So then why haven’t we seen the cat around?”

“Because he’s been in our room?” Matt shrugged, casually. “We didn’t want him to—Wait a second. Jeremy, you were the one to suggest keeping him in the room so no one would realize!”

“But you all agreed with my reasoning!” they countered, grinning widely. “It made sense!”

“Well, I think we should get to see the cat now. As compensation.” Lindsay opened their arms, as if expecting them to just place Buddy in their arms. “Come on.”

“Yeah, one sec.” Matt shook his head even as he turned around to go back to their room. Moments later he returned, Buddy lounging in his arms. “See? Not the same thing.”

Trevor leaned closer from his chair, exaggeratedly looking Matt over. “I don’t know Matt. You do look a lot alike.”

“Oh, fuck you, Trevor.”

---

Matt’s fingers stilled over the keyboard as he activated his new program’s test run. There, now he could just sit back and wait for a moment.

He still couldn’t believe that he worked as the Fakes’ hacker for six months without them knowing he was a human person. Six months! And the only people who had known he wasn’t cat were Jeremy, Trevor, and the B-team, apparently. Fucking unbelievable.

Well. Maybe a little believable, he supposed.

A knock on his door broke him out of his thoughts, and he spun around on his chair. “Come in, it’s open.”

“Heya Matt,” Lindsay greeted him as they came in, hands held strangely behind themself. “You got a minute?”

“Sure?” he answered cautiously, glancing back at his computer for a moment. “What’s up?”

“Here, I got you a little something!” They shoved the thing into his hands the moment he lifted them. Something soft and furry, and—

It was a cat plushy. A very cute, very fluffy plush cat.

He looked at the plush in his hands—so soft!—and then back at Lindsay, who cracked up into giggles.

“Thank you?” he said when they settled down some.

“It’s because we all thought you were a cat all this time.” They gestured at the plushy. “So it’s a little something to make up for it, since I’m the one who started it, I think.”

“Oh, well, it’s fine.” He tucked the plush closer to himself. It really was very nice to hold. “I mean. It’s kinda silly, but it’s hardly the worst thing that could’ve happened.”

“Yeah, well.” They shrugged. “It is pretty funny in hindsight. But I saw that plushy and I thought, hey, why not. Matt would probably like it.”

He smiled back at them. “I do, thank you.” He reached over, settling the plush on his desk next to his monitors. “And Lindsay? Thank you for the compliments and the hugs.”

They laughed, opening their arms. “Yeah, no problem man. You want a direct hug?”

“Well,” he said, drawing out the word as he got up out of his chair. “I’m not saying no to that.”

---

Jeremy leaned against a wall, quickly checking the clip in their pistol. They hoped they wouldn’t need to use it, but better to be prepared than to be caught off-guard.

“Oh, shit,” Matt muttered over the coms. “Uh. I said that wrong. My bad. You should’ve taken the right turn instead of the left.”

“Matt, you motherfucker,” Geoff snarled in the comm, clearly struggling to keep his voice down so they wouldn’t attract the attention of the police. “What the fuck do you mean you sent us the wrong way!”

“I was looking at the wrong thing, sorry!” He sounded genuinely apologetic, but it was clearly too late from the way Geoff was seething. “It’s fine. Just a little further. Follow the alley and then take a right at the end.”

They quickly continued walking, but Gavin was already reaching up to unmute his own mic. “Matt, how did you send us down the wrong way, Matt! It’s just left and right!”

“I was looking at the wrong thing! I said sorry, didn’t I!”

And, well. That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Jeremy threw a quick look over at Geoff, and found him visibly boiling over. They lowered their hand back to their pistol, but hopefully they were far enough away from the police that Geoff’s shouting wouldn’t alert them.

Jeremy tuned out of the screaming earful from Geoff—fed by Gavin and Jack—but kept half an ear on the comm. Just enough that he could hear Matt’s heavy sigh, followed by the quiet mutter of, “I miss being a cat.”

Despite themself they cracked up, laughter cutting off the shouting from the rest of the crew. Oops. Apparently they hadn’t muted their own mic. Everyone fell silent, watching them lose it over a comment none of them heard.

“What did we say that was so bloody funny?” Gavin asked, frowning at them.

“Sorry,” they apologized as they caught their breath again, shaking their head to get their focus back. “Just something Matt said. I’m good. Let’s go.”

They should’ve realized that that would just encourage Matt.

---

BK winced as Geoff’s voice echoed around her, bouncing off of the alley walls just off from his actual voice in her comm. She wished she could turn the comm off, but it wouldn’t do to miss critical instructions. Her admittance into the crew was too new to risk over something like this.

Besides, he wasn’t even yelling at her. And, despite the volume he was reaching, he didn’t even sound that mad. It was more theatrical than anything.

Probably.

She leant around the corner, spotting Trevor opposite of her, hidden behind a stack of boxes. Seeing her in turn, he gave her a thumb’s up and a reassuring smile, and she gladly returned the favor. See? All good.

A weary sigh rattled over the comm, and she winced again, this time in sympathy. It seemed that Matt, for all that he stayed back home as the hacker, caught a lot of Geoff’s ire. Maybe being away from the action made it worse, instead of better.

“Man,” the man in question huffed. “You were so much nicer when I was a cat.”

When—Huh? When he what?

Sudden gunshots interrupted her thoughts. Fuck. Alright, that thought was getting shelved until after the mission. Focus now.

The moment they returned back to the base, however, the topic immediately sprung back into her mind. As she put away her weapons and body armor, the thought kept circling around in her head. What did it mean?

Stepping back out into penthouse proper—the shared Crew home, for all she didn’t yet live there—she set out to get answers. But who could she ask?

Oh! There was Ky! She had been around a little longer than BK herself, so maybe she would know. At the very least, she wasn’t one of the old guard who would surely use this as a pranking opportunity.

“Hey Ky,” BK greeted the moment she was close enough. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure?” Ky turned to face her. “Did something happen during the mission?”

“Kinda.” She made a dubious face. “I heard Matt say something weird. Like… Not normal for this crew weird.”

Ky’s face dropped into a frown, and BK immediately followed it up with, “He said something about the rest of the crew being nicer when he was a cat?”

“He—Huh?” Ky’s expression cleared up immediately—and straight into confusion. “He said that?”

“Right?” BK threw up her hands, feeling exasperation flood through her. “I mean, what does that even mean?”

“When he was a cat…” Ky repeated, under her breath, brow creased. “When he was a cat…”

“Where did you hear that?” a hushed voice interrupted them, and BK jerked away—and saw Ky do the same opposite of her.

Standing next to them was Jeremy, wide-eyed and grim-faced. “Seriously! Be quiet about that, where did you hear that?”

“Matt muttered it over the comms earlier today.” BK felt her heart drop. What was going on in this crew? “Why? What did he mean?”

Jeremy looked around, shiftily, and BK found herself doing the same automatically. But the hallway was clear. Just the three of them.

“Look, Matt doesn’t like to talk about it, okay? Top secret. No one gets to know about it.” They met her eyes first, then Ky’s, deadly serious. “No one.”

“We wouldn’t tell!” Ky immediately exclaimed, then grimaced and lowered her voice. “Jeremy, we wouldn’t, you know that.”

They stared them down for a moment longer, then nodded, slowly. “Alright, fine. But I’m serious—Matt doesn’t want to talk about it. Keep it quiet, okay?”

“Promise,” BK said, and she heard Ky’s voice echoing with her own.

Jeremy nodded once more, then gestured for them to lean in closer. “Okay, so you two know that Trevor, Matt, and I were hired at the same time, yeah? We all lived in the same apartment at the time. And it took a while for us to be moved in because of it, so it took six months until we could move in, at the same time as Alfredo.”

“Right,” Ky said, slowly.

“And it was before we used long-distance comms, so no one but me and Trevor knew about Matt. For six months, none of them saw him, none of them heard his voice, nothing. Just the two of us, whenever we came home from our missions.”

BK couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, even more so than earlier that day. Six months with barely any human contact, and now he got yelled at by Geoff? Harsh.

“And just when we were about to move in, something big interrupted, and everyone had to focus on crew work. So the three of us, we just moved in on our own, without anyone seeing. And then Matt had to get back to work immediately again, having to stay in his new office—our shared room—the entire time.”

Add a little more sorry to that previous count. Yikes.

“So… A few days after we got there, we might’ve had a little unwanted break-out.” Jeremy shrugged their shoulders, a forced smile on their face. “And a cat came running out of his office. Which of course the others saw, and, well. You can imagine what went down.”

“But, wait.” Ky frowned, and BK felt her own mind trip over the vagueness with which Jeremy had told the story. “You mean that long-haired tabby that wanders around the base?”

“That’s the one,” Jeremy confirmed, smiling softly. “So, yeah. It’s a whole thing, and Matt doesn’t like to talk about it, so. Keep it quiet, yeah?”

“Of course,” BK assured them, even if she wasn’t quite sure what to keep quiet, exactly. “Thanks for telling us, Jeremy.”

They nodded. “Yeah, no problem. Better than letting the confusion cause problems. If there’s any pressing concerns, come ask me, okay?”

“We will,” Ky promised, and they watched Jeremy wander off before she leaned closer to BK. “So… Did you get what exactly was up with Matt?”

“No, not really,” she admitted, grimacing. “I guess he… was a cat? For a while? Somehow?”

“What, like a werecat?” Ky shook her head. “How does that even make sense?”

“Well, I don’t know!” BK snapped back, throwing her hands up. “Maybe he was cursed to be cat until the crew fixed him, or something!”

“Shh,” Ky hissed immediately, and they looked around quickly, but no one was nearby. Phew. “Well, then he might as well have been a cat originally, until he got turned into a human.”

BK hummed. “I don’t think that that works in the story. Wait. Or does it?”

“How would I know?” Ky fell silent, face twisting. “Oh my god. I’ve definitely petted him before.”

“You have?”

“Yes! Lindsay was holding him and making kissy faces and then told me I should give him a pat! How was I supposed to know otherwise!”

“Oh my god,” BK groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is too much.”

They stood there in silence for a moment, processing.

“We should tell Joe.” Ky met BK’s gaze when she snapped it over to her. “Okay, I know Jeremy said to keep it quiet, but! He’s going to find out eventually, and I’m not going to be able to keep quiet if I see him petting Matt.”

“Okay, true.” BK clicked her tongue. “Well. It should be okay right, to make sure he doesn’t ask Matt about it?”

“Yeah! Yeah, see, that makes sense,” Ky agreed nodding. “Alright. Let’s just. Go do that. Then.”

“Yes. Let’s, uh. Do that.”

---

Jeremy’s fingers tapped out a silent rhythm on the side of their phone. The moment they had stepped away from Ky and BK they had texted Lindsay to let them in on the shenanigans that had just been unleashed, and now they regularly texted with ideas on how to stoke the flames further.

Luckily Lindsay had agreed to keep it quiet from everyone else. Hopefully Ky and BK would do the same, because Jeremy really wanted to see everyone’s reactions when they found out the whole thing had happened again.

Although, admittedly, they were kind of curious to hear what those two had thought up. They had intentionally left their story very open, but still. The options were pretty limited, weren’t they?

Their phone buzzed in their hand, and they looked down. Ooh, a great new idea from Lindsay. Baking cookies shaped like cat treats to give to Matt? Brilliant!

Rapidly texted Lindsay back, they hadn’t even noticed Joe creeping up on them until he awkwardly cleared his throat.

Quickly dimming their screen, they looked up at him. “Hey Joe, what’s up?”

“You, uh.” He looked around the otherwise-empty room, the very picture of shifty, then continued at a lower tone. “You said we could ask you about Matt’s… thing.”

“His thing,” they repeated drily.

“Yeah, you know, the. Uh.” Joe stuck up a finger on each side of his head, wiggling them slightly. Like cat ears, Jeremy supposed. “You know?”

Pressing a fist to their mouth to stifle their laughter, they nodded slightly. “The cat thing? Yes. Who told you?”

“BK and—Uh. I mean. No one.” Joe cleared his throat again, awkwardly looking away. “I definitely found out on my own.”

“Sure.” They shook their head. Definitely something to keep in mind, the poor acting skills of some of the newer crew members. You never know when those kind of things come in handy! “You had a question about it?”

He nodded, shuffling a little on his feet. “Yeah, so he’s like, a werecat, right? Sometimes a human and sometimes a cat?”

Interesting. Was that the consensus that they had reached, or was that just what Joe had decided was the truth? Either way, they gestured for him to keep talking.

“So what I was wondering, um. Is he always fully human, or fully cat, or…?”

“What, like does he keep cat-like traits when he’s human, or something?” They quirked a brow at him, using the pause to quickly search through their brain. Stoke the flames, stoke the flames… “Hm. Well, you know how it is with weres: never fully one or the other.”

“So he’s like…” Joe gestured vaguely, like he was trying to grab at concepts he couldn’t reach. “A little cat?” he settled on, weakly.

“Oh yeah, for sure” they said, casually reclining on their chair. “Haven’t you noticed how he’s always prowling the base at night? That’s the were-zoomies.”

They watched Joe mouth the word ‘were-zoomies’, stifling the grin that threatened to break out on their face. Yes. Yes. Go on, fall for it.

“Right,” Joe said, slowly, like he was testing the word. “That makes sense. Uh. Sorry for bothering you with this.”

“It’s fine,” they assured him, flapping their hand. “Just make sure to keep it quiet from the rest, yeah? Especially Matt, he doesn’t like talking about it much.”

“Uh huh.” Joe nodded. “And I guess you’d know best anyway, since you’ve known him longest.”

“Exactly,” they agreed easily. “Was that all?”

“Yeah. Uh, yeah.” He shifted on his feet again. “Thanks, Jeremy. Again.”

“No problem,” they repeated, even as Joe turned around to walk away. They waited another moment or two, until they were sure that he was leaving—and that he’d really fallen for it—and then turned on their phone again to resume texting Lindsay.

They would love the new twist that had just been added to the story.

---

Idly watching a program run on the monitor in front of him, Matt hummed. “Hey, Trevor.”

“Hey Matt,” Trevor echoed dutifully, sitting on the bed behind him, Buddy in his lap.

“Do you think the new crew members have been acting weird around me?”

Because he was pretty sure they were acting weird. At first he had just assumed it was nerves over joining the crew, but then he realized it was only around him. Like they became instantly transfixed on him whenever he entered a room any of them were in.

“I don’t know.” Trevor sounded doubtful, and Matt spun around to find him frowning. “I haven’t noticed anything, but I haven’t really been paying attention to it, I guess.”

Matt hummed. “I guess I’m just worried I’m spending too much time in the office again, you know?”

“Honestly, you haven’t been that bad.” Trevor leant further back, and they both watched in silence as Buddy stretched out further in the newly gained space. “Maybe that’s why? You’re just around more to notice it, now that we’re not the new guys.”

“Maybe,” he said, doubtfully. “I don’t know. It just seems kind of weird. The last time people were acting all strange around me was, you know, when we moved in.”

“And we wouldn’t want a repeat from that.” Trevor laughed, then fell silent as he saw the look on Matt’s face. “Matt. You’re not seriously thinking about it.”

“What? It happened once, it could’ve happened again.” He shook his head. “Besides, Jeremy is absolutely the type to feed the new guys a made-up story of me being a werecat. They definitely didn’t get their fill of chaos last time around.”

“It’s not like they would’ve needed to do that.” Trevor clicked his tongue, chastising. “You still regularly grumble about missing your old cat life. It’s not like that couldn’t have caused some strange thoughts.”

Matt spluttered, “Now hold on—”

“Besides,” Trevor cut him off, mercilessly. “You also responded to Lindsay going “pspspsps” over the comms just a few days. By muting everyone else and focusing exclusively on them.”

He stared down Matt, as if daring him to defend himself again. When he didn’t, Trevor sniffed. “See? Perfectly normal reasons why people might think you’re a werecat, again, without Jeremy having done anything.”

“Right,” he agreed. Trevor kind of had a point. He did do all of those things. “But consider this: these are exactly the kind of shenanigans that Jeremy is all about.”

Trevor visibly thought about it. Then nodded. “True, true. Guess we’ll see how it all turns out, then.”

---

Paper rustled loudly as Gavin dug through the pile of wrapped presents still left in the middle of their circle. From the sidelines most of the crew was shouting at him to hurry up, either because they wanted to receive their own presents, or because they wanted to see the reactions to what they had given.

Jack just shuffled in deeper into the couch she had claimed. Some of the newer crew members might’ve been feeling uncertain about their picks—it was their first Secret Santa since Jeremy, Trevor, and Matt had joined, after all—but she knew she had made an excellent choice.

Gavin exclaimed victoriously over having found the present he’d been looking for, holding it up proudly. And then groaned when he read the label: addressed to Matt.

Smiling satisfied, she watched him accept the present. Good.

“What is it, Matt?” Joe called loudly the moment Matt begun opening the present, clearly stoked on by Alfredo sitting next to him.

“Give me a moment!” Matt called back, carefully taking apart the paper. And clearly going slow on purpose, based on the way he was grinning at the exasperated—and dramatic—groans around him.

And then he gasped, having seen the contents of his present.

Michael, sitting next to him, leaned to take a look. And then made a face. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s great is what it is!” Matt lifted up his gift to show it to the rest. And Jack knew she’d made the right choice the moment she saw it, but seeing Matt’s wide grin now filled her with pride nonetheless.

In Matt’s hands, he held a knitted sweater. An unbelievably obnoxious, very ugly, and very grandma-style knitted sweater. With a cat theme.

“I love it!” he exclaimed, even as Jeremy, on his other side, made a loud gagging noise. “Wait—”

And then he pulled it on over the hoodie he’d been wearing, wiggling slightly to get it to sit right. And just as she had guessed, it was just slightly oversized for him.

“Oh, it’s so nice.” Matt rubbed one arm of the sweater, plucking at it slightly. “It’s so warm and soft! I love it. Thank you, Secret Santa!”

“It’s atrocious,” Jeremy spat out like they couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Matt, look at it!”

“I am looking at it.” Matt grinned at Jeremy like a cat who’d gotten the cream. “Here, just feel it, Jeremy. Gimme a pat.”

Jeremy rolled their eyes but obliged, patting Matt’s arm briefly. Then they sighed. “Yeah, alright, I’ll give you that. It’s very soft.”

“Told you.” Matt shook his arms slightly, letting the too-long sleeves fall over his hands. “Oh, right, my turn to pick a present. Hm, let’s see…”

---

Matt absentmindedly twirled the glass in his hand, watching the liquid in it swish around. Ever since he and Trevor had realized that BK, Ky, and Joe thought he was a—a werecat or something, he had become aware of just how much they stared at him. It was like, equal parts fascinated and terrified. So probably werecat then? Were they thinking about him just suddenly turning into a cat in front of them, or something?

He didn’t know, and quite frankly, he had no idea how to ask.

Up went the glass as he took a drink from it. Nope, still no idea.

And the three of them were still staring, on the other side of the table.

Really, when Trevor had suggested that Matt just go out with them for a night to find a way to bring it up, he’d thought that Trevor would’ve come along. But nooo, that would’ve been too easy, huh? Had to go and do this all alone.

How the fuck were you supposed to start a conversation about this, anyway?

“So,” BK blurted out suddenly, leaning forward on her elbows, “When you turn into a cat, does that hurt? Like, is that why you never do it?”

“When I what?” he answered automatically, somehow feeling caught off-guard despite wanting to get into this exact conversation.

Also, apparently that is how you start a conversation about this kind of stuff. He’d consider it good to know, but he was really kind of hoping not to get into this situation a third time.

Groaning, he pinched his nose. “I’m not a werecat, or whatever Jeremy told you three.”

“But the—the were-zoomies.” Joe gestured around the last word as if to emphasize it.

“The what?” He shook his head, setting the thought aside. “Look. I don’t know what Jeremy convinced you three of, but I can guarantee you it’s not real. Although I guess that that does explain why Buddy has been begging for more attention from the rest of us…”

“Buddy?” Ky repeated cautiously.

“Yeah. Buddy the cat.” He pulled up a photo on his phone, even though he was sure they all knew exactly who he was talking about. “See? That’s our cat. Mine, Jeremy’s, and Trevor’s, before we moved in with the rest of the crew. I’m sure you’ve seen him around.”

“But—But—” BK spluttered, and then fell silent when he swiped over to a photo of him holding Buddy. “Oh.”

“Yeah, exactly.” He rolled his eyes, tucking his phone away again. “Honestly, it’s kind of unbelievable this happened again. Although I guess it doesn’t really count if Jeremy orchestrated this on purpose…”

“But I heard you complain about missing being a cat!” BK gestured at him. “What does that even mean!”

He nodded slowly. “I assume Jeremy told you about how, when I first joined the crew, no one saw or heard me? They only knew me by name? So, somehow, they wrongly start to think—"

---

“JEREMY!”

They looked up from the game they had been playing. Was that BK? Hadn’t she gone out with Ky, Joe, and Matt?

The door slammed open, and they spun around on their chair. Standing in the opening were all three of the new crew members. The crew members they had tricked into thinking Matt was a werecat.

“So uh.” They looked between the three fuming crew members. “You figured it out, huh?”

“I’m going to kill you!” BK snarled, making grabbing hands at them from where she still stood. “You asshole! Months!”

“Oh yeah, you really fell for it.” They giggled, ignoring the way the three of them crept further into the room. “But hey, now you get to join the club with the rest of crew! You’re fitting in just right!”

“You’ll fit in just right in the hole you’re about to make in the ground,” Ky growled, stepping up to them. “Because we’re about to drop you off of the roof.”

They looked over to Joe. Who shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with them.”

“Shame.” They shrugged, putting down their controller. “Ah well. Worth it.”

Buddy meowed from the corner of the desk where he’d been sitting.

So worth it.

[burntotears]

Fanfic Origin Story

Tagged by @bekkachaos 💕

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Popslash RPF - NSYNC

What was first story you ever wrote.

My main ship was Lance/Chris (Trickyfish), so it was most likely one for them. I wrote some Justin/Chris (Timbertrick) and Justin/Lance (Lamblove) too. I was 12 and everything I wrote was basically crack-fic or dark-fic where people were dying and shit. It was awful.

What's a piece of advice you would give your younger fic writing self?

Everything doesn't have to be devastating to be interesting. You can write something with a happy ending and it can still be interesting. But also, keep writing, because you'll get better.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback)

Back in the Merlin, Legend of the Seeker, Lord of the Rings days I met this one Australian graphic artist who was super sweet and made a TON of stuff for me. She did all the banner work for us in the Merlin Slash Awards (which I ran), made us little banners when we participated in the fun little team contests for Disney, LotS, and LotR AND made me banners for my LiveJournal accounts. Just unbelievably kind and I am so sad that we fell out of touch.

The one amazing thing that really blew me away was the cover art she made me for my first multi-chapter long fic, Unsuitable, for the Merlin fandom. She's soooo talented and I still think about her.

Post a sentence or two from an older fic and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

My first Sterek (and TW) fic, Be the Overflow

“A guy like you? That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. Erica said she had a crush on you for quite a while and you never even noticed her until she turned. For someone who knows what it feels like, Stiles, you sure are a huge fucking hypocrite. There are plenty of people who--” but Derek didn’t finish that sentence. Whatever it was he was about to say, he no longer wanted to say it.

“People who what? Who want to be my friend? Who want to laugh at my jokes but make out with the guy who’s hotter and a lot more mysterious? Someone more like Scott? Yeah, I know all about that, Derek, and I’d rather you didn’t call me a hypocrite before having all the facts, alright? How’s about we all just shut the hell up and stop talking about my non-existent love life because that would be really fucking swell right about now,” Stiles spat with a bit more venom than even he knew he possessed. He looked back down at the pipe and the rope and decided the task definitely needed his undivided attention now.

“You are completely full of it. You’re going to keep blaming other people for the fact that you can’t see the things that are right in front of your own goddamn face, so you know what? You deserve what you get, Stiles.” There was a hardness in Derek’s voice that Stiles couldn’t really place.

The Teen Malex AU, The Answer is Always "Okay."

Michael seemed better when Alex glanced up again. “Guerin… you wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?” Alex held up his wrist to indicate.

“I don’t - I don’t even know how to do that,” Michael said. He was afraid. Terrified, even. Alex couldn’t just see it on his face, though—it was something viscous seeping into his veins from inside Michael. He could feel it.

Alex stood up, moving the short distance across the shed. “Oh-okay, Guerin, you need to start talking. I know you’re freaked out or whatever, but so am I.”

Michael blinked and looked up at Alex as though he just realized he was there. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Rationally, I understand that my wrist is fixed. I get that you did something. So what I’m sorta gonna need you to fill me in on is how the fuck that is.”

Tagging these lovely folks if they would like 💕

@portraitofemmy @haloud @jule1122 @im-the-punk-who @angrycowboy @beautifulcheat @thesquidkid @bydayornight

[porcelaintoybox23]

I saw the most brain dead tweet about how we have to tag ships based on sex positions and general dynamics for (specifically Asian) fandom. The first I can understand for smut fics but how the fuck does that work for general dynamics. Why the fuck are people so anal and entitled about this? They were demanding this of non-sexual fics and art. Am I the only person who keeps my ship dynamics the same unless it’s an AU? Why would I change character personalities? Sulemio or Mioletta (I don’t super ship, I think it’s cute tho), why would their dynamic change? I’d keep their personalities the same.

I don’t fucking care. Block me. You sound ridiculous acting like it’s a personal attack when someone tags based on name preference or no preference, especially when there’s no sexual content. Was fandom always this entitled? Weirdos harassing people over who tops/bottoms, dictating how someone tags something when it’s in the right fandom. I’m not tagging who fucks who when I’m writing a story. Read at your own risk and learn how to live in a world where people can do things and you just click off.

“Respect other cultures” I criticize my family’s culture constantly. No one is free from critique.

Straight up, I ran from the MXTX when I saw tweets with hundreds of likes mocking people for having the pairs switch. Like, “the author says you’re wrong lol” because fanfic has always depended on what the author says. People literally saying that Hua Cheng bottoming is offensive to the author and people shouldn’t do that. DO YOU KNOW WHAT FANFICTION IS

I understand when someone tags a ship that’s not there, or rates a story G when there’s graphic violence, but this isn’t that. Leave people alone. Stop mocking people over a personal preference. Block people, like how I blocked that stupid thread.

[the-cloudy-dreamer]

What about 2, 7, 9, 13, 17, 19 and 20 for Violence Asks??

My friend, my beautiful server-wife you really ASKED all of the questions, huh?? Took me a while but here are my dubious answers! Thanks for sending them 🖤

2- A compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

My favorite is Orpheus and I consider him my son —so I’ll retain a mother’s prerogative of NOT knowing if their children fuck! let my OG Greek blorbo be please 🙏

7- What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Now this is an easy answer for me and that answer is Corinthian.

Listen, he is a good character! I do get the appeal, I do! unfortunately in the early days of this fandom I ran into some Corintheus fics some which I read out of curiosity and there was this one in particular that triggered me very badly all because of lack of proper tags on it.

So quick PSA—please, please tag your stuff properly specially if you are going to add r*ape or any sort of non-con elements to your fics!

Ever since then I keep away from anything that heavily involves Corinthian as a character. And developed a quick recoil response to anything Corinthian related.

13-worst blorboficiation

Dream of the Endless—any facets of him! I won’t comment further as to not dwell on spoiler territory but maybe add some respect to the King of Nightmares and make him a bit less pathetic sad little meow meow? He is a big boy I get the whumpification of his character specially post fish bowl but I think there’s a line between “I went through something traumatic and I’m living one day at a time” into “helpless victim will never be capable of ever doing anything beyond their trauma” and that I dislike!

17- there should be more of this type of fic/art

Sandman is a story about stories so I would love to see not necessarily shippy stuff but more things inspired by larger narratives if that makes sense!

And Mythology we need much more of this. AND of Orpheus! Please give my son the love that he deserves.

19-you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Someone pointed out at the Dreamling Nation Server that BDSM is sex for autistic people and I cannot unsee that about myself now.

Am I ashamed though? No. Please give me all the gentle dom! hob fics I don’t care.

20-part of canon you found tedious or boring

Nothing comes to mind right now I think the day I truly become bored will be the day I stopped being an active participant in fandom and I don’t see that happening any time soon!