#I don't know how comfortable I feel posting fics in this fandom anymore

[fernlessbastard]

I haven't been online for a while due to lack of time, as well some personal issues, but I just want to say that i obviously don't condone all of the abuse William Gold made Shelby endure. I stand with Shelby, and anyone who does otherwise, unfollow me immediately.

In regards to the characters Wilbur and Quackity from dream SMP, I have absolutely no idea what to do about it all. They've felt more like my characters ever since the end of their direct interactions on dsmp anyway, and frankly almost all of the content I've produced of them is significantly more so based off of me and my partner (however "cringe" that sounds), so it's a difficult situation for me. I won't be deleting any of my posts or art. I don't know what I'll be doing with all of the content I've made but haven't posted, which includes a couple chapters of the Losing Face rewrite. I might turn cQ and cWilbur into actual original characters. I've been thinking about doing a complete redesign either way - the only immediate issue I have is the names, as I can't think of anything that'd fit. If I end up figuring it out, I might try to turn the rewrite of Losing Face into an original story, but that's gonna be very difficult, considering the context needed for the story is Dream SMP lore. The fic is also structured around William Gold's song, which I'll have to obviously change too, if I end up doing anything with it.

If any other tnt duo artists have any thoughts regarding how to tastefully handle this, I'd appreciate it, as honestly, I can't say I'm not still hyperfixated, unfortunately.

For now I'll most likely just see how the situation develops, and decide when my personal life is less of a mess. This whole shit show has hit a little too close to home with my current issues too, so I'll be frank, I don't think I'll be posting anything, regardless of whether it's tnt duo or not.

Anyway, stay safe everyone, and let me know what you think about how i could figure this pickle out

Update: as of now I've decided I'll most likely just keep on creating content of the characters which have belonged to the fandom for years now. The situation with my fic is more complicated, since not just the title is named after the song Losing Face, but also each chapter is named after the song's lyrics, and each of those has been carefully fitted to represent the plot of the chapter. I don't think I feel comfortable with that anymore, and I will have to rework the pacing to fit a different song (I haven't yet decided what song exactly).

[halfmoth-halfman]

Are you not writing for COD anymore or are you on a small break? If it’s a break, how long do you plan on being gone and is there a timeline for when you’ll post the Designer Dress drabbles and Selcouth?

It’s a little frustrating to say you’ll post and then leave us hanging for so long…

i'm gonna be real with you anon - i don't know and i haven't really thought about it.

i've been busy with irl things and protests in my area so cod hasn't really been at the forefront of my mind. i plan on clearing out my inbox this weekend and catching up, but i have very little motivation to write for cod rn. i don't know when i'm going to write for it again, i don't even know if i'm going to write for it again. given real world events and my feelings on the new game and activision, i just don't feel comfortable with writing cutesy fanfic about war criminals right now, even if they are fictional.

i get that it's upsetting to know a fic was planned only to have it left unfinished or not posted, but you want to know what's actually frustrating?? it's every time i talk about the islamophobia and racism in the games and esp in the fandom (or having any criticism of the fandom in general) and having my inbox look like this:

for days after. and these are the nicer asks.

i am sorry that i don't feel like writing for cod rn. i'm sorry you may have to wait a week/a month/a year for the fics you want from me or that i may write for other fandoms before i finish my cod projects. i’m sorry i can't give you a definitive answer on when i'll feel more comfortable writing for cod or participating in the fandom again. i’m sorry for leaving you hanging, but there are so many other incredible and talented writers to fill your cod fix, so please respect my decision.

if this isn't the answer you wanted, you're free to unfollow me or block me or whatever, but right now i need a break from the games and the fandom. i'm tired, and i think there are things that are more deserving of my attention at this moment.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my online friend that they embarrass me?

Note that I love my friend. It's more complicated than the title suggests And no it isn't bait!

So, I (20X) have a few profiles on social media. My online friend (22X) follows me everywhere with the same account. We've been friends for a very long time

Their account is cringe. Easiest way to describe it. They've had it ever since they were a kid, it has that horrible uwu humor from the mid 2010s all over it, old fanart, old fics, "cursed" fandoms, you name it. They've linked every other account they've ever had so there's even more stuff. It's exactly what you'd expect from someone who's really into fandom and has been using the same account for the past decade

Let me be clear! Being cringe isn't bad, if anything long live cringe and having fun. I'm no stranger to it, we literally share the same interests and I contributed to half the things on their account. Even if I keep my online and private life separate I don't think it's bad to do otherwise

I'm glad they're more immune to cringe culture than I am and I don't want them to be like me. This embarrassment is my issue, I care too much about people's opinions, I know that. That's why I'm trying to fix it! And ironically it's where the problems start

I want to get over my fear of showing my drawings to people I know IRL. I decided to make a private account for my IRL friends to follow and select what to post so I can get used to it bit by bit. Exposure therapy basically

I know it sounds stupid but I have diagnosed social anxiety and for me it's a really big deal. I can barely cope with this much. Please don't mistake it as a chronically online issue, it's happening online simply because it's easier for me but it affects my life in many ways as a disorder does. I'm just trying to step out of my comfort zone in my own terms through something I'm passionate about

I invited my online friend because I love them and I appreciate their support. But again they use that same account for everything and they'll use it to interact with me. I know my IRL friends will see it, and they'll probably see our shitty old fanfics and cursed collab fandom posts where I'm clearly involved. That's not stepping out of my comfort zone in my own terms anymore

This is stopping me from posting anything or let my IRL friends know about the account. I want to try and figure something out with my friend, but if I confront them it'll come across as "you're embarrassing me" no matter how I word it. I don't want to come up with a lie or block them from my profile without explanation because that feels even worse

What are these acronyms?

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Not a request, but a question! I really want to post some TMNT writings again. However I noticed that 18+ (gore, smut other dark themes) seem to be a matter of heavy debate. Such as you can't age up character or if you're now an adult you cant interact/write/draw for the fandom anymore. I left years ago because of how bad it got. Do you get a lot of hate for your writings? Or has it died down after all these years?

No, I get no hate. I've only gotten two mean-ish comments, and none of them had anything to do with my 18+ writing.

Dark themes, and to a certain degree, gore, has always been part of the TMNT universe. Leo's PTSD pattern in the tv shows, Raph's homelessness in the IDW, Donnie gradually becoming more and more robot in both comic and tv, and of course Mikey in The Last Ronin. And then there is the ROTTMNT movie. That was some dark stuff, and if you think about it, there was body horror as well.

Sex is not new to the TMNT comics either. Donnie is the only turtle that haven't lost his virginity in cannon. We have to remember that the turtles have been in relationships and have had crushes ever since the Mirage days, so sex doesn't seem that far off.

I'll say it's all about being comfortable with what people are reading. That's why I put warnings and try to put it into a genre. There are people that just don't feel comfortable with these themes, and that's perfectly fine. At the same time, some people find that by interacting and inserting themselves or other people into the story, it ruines it, and that too I understand. To me it's almost an art form to write fan fics and inserts that does not mess to much with the story and plot, yet at times it's fun to play around with "what ifs".

With all that being said, I too do have things I don't feel comfortable writing about, with non-con being a BIG no for me. At the same time I don't mind writing about age gaps, as long as the youngest person partaking is at least 18. But with fictional characters that we know age over time, I don't see a problem with pushing their age so it matches the theme of the story. That's also why I often by my smut a few year after the main events took place (unless people want me to write about a specific scene, in which I still push their age up to an acceptable place that I too would feel comfortable with).

Maybe TMNT fans are adults today, so it would be strange not to let adult have a go and make fan content, even if it's 18+:)

[chaotictarlos]

The Loft

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: Explicit | Warnings/Tags: Canon Compliment, Season 4, Post 4 x 18, Could be a 4 x 18 Coda, Feelings, Angst, Hurt / Comfort, Anal Sex, Blow jobs, Anal Fingering, M x M Smut

Summary: TK and Carlos decide that they're going to stay home for their honeymoon instead of going someplace else.

Author's Note: This fic took a lot longer than I thought it would to write, but in the end I'm happy with how it turned out. I have ideas for fics to follow this one, and I might write them but I have a few projects I would like to get done before doing that. I am sorry that this took me so long to write, but I do hope that it was worth the wait. Nice comments are always welcomed, negative comments need to not be posted.

Thank you @lightningboltreader for being such a doll and beta'ing this for me!

----

TK stares up at the ceiling. His arms are wrapped around Carlos loosely, one hand rubbing up and down his back in an attempt to soothe him. Carlos’ head is on his chest, ear pressing against the spot where TK’s heart is the loudest. Carlos has been laying on TK a lot like this, needing to hear his heartbeat loud and clear, to make sure he’s alive. Carlos told him the other day that it helps ease some of the anxiety and dread he’s been feeling, and tonight is no different. TK will do anything to soothe his fiance.

They had crawled into bed shortly after Carlos came home and proposed to TK. This time the proposal hadn’t been followed by them making love, but instead reaching for each other's arms and just holding each other. They’re laying quietly, listening to their breathing, knowing that sleep isn’t going to come. Carlos is too scared to sleep - too scared to let sleep take him because of the nightmares he’ll have and TK stays awake to be there for Carlos when he needs him.

It makes for a long night but TK doesn’t care, it’s just another sleepless night in a week of sleepless nights and grabbing naps when their bodies are too exhausted to move anymore.

TK focuses on Carlos’ breathing, tracking the way he sounds when he breathes in and out in case it changes and TK’s full attention is needed. His heart hurts for his fiance and he wishes that there was something more he could do. 

"I know we planned to travel for our honeymoon but can we just stay home?" Carlos asks softly, his voice breaking the stillness of the night. 

TK doesn’t say anything at first, just processes the words that float between them.

"I just want to be with you," Carlos continues. "I don't need to go off to some destination to do that. I just want you, safe in my arms. I-"

"We can do that," TK says, cutting him off and running his fingers up and down Carlos' back. "I don't care where we go or what we do. I just want to be with you, Carlos. Even if we stay here, in our apartment, and enjoy being married together. It'll still be the best time of my life."

Carlos raises his head and looks at TK. TK knows he can’t make out much in the darkness of the night but Carlos didn't need light to make TK feel like he was staring into the depths of his soul.

"Are you sure?" Carlos asks and TK can hear the worry in his words.

"I am baby,” he says softly, cupping Carlos’ face and running his thumb over his cheek. “I just want to be with you and if you want to have our honeymoon at home we will.”

Carlos nods and lays his head back on TK’s chest. There’s a want bubbling up in TK to talk to Carlos, but Carlos will talk when he’s ready. For now, they’ll just lay here in silence.

It has to be enough for now.

READ MORE ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @a-j-cowwley @meditating-honey-badger @paperstorm @otter-love-asl @kiloskywalker @angeltk @firstprince-history-huh @brouill3r @liminalmemories21 @herefortarlos @tavners

[heich0e]

I asked a while back about binding your work Percolate in to a book. And I wanted to share because we finished!! My elderly neighbor Carol is er was a book binder/restored book for a job and is now a hobby for her so she helped me! She helped me format it correctly, and buy the correct paper, and helped me print it all from the comfort of my home So it was a lot. (Well the cover we took to our local printing company to have printed out on fancy matte paper) I wanted to share it with you because it means so much to me to have this work of art in my hands, to physically hold it and love it! I’ve already started reading it again while sipping on my not Tea (hot water lemon and honey) sitting in front of my large window cuddle in a cozy fuzzy blanket. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to write this amazing work of art and sharing it. Thank you 💕

(I will say we did chest just a little bit we used a template for the cover and the free vector images carol has for making covers. Because I can’t draw I tried and it was bad haha! )

i would like to preface this by letting you know that when i saw this ask for the first time i immediately burst into tears, so if the following is a bit dramatic at least you have that bit of context.

i felt a lot of things all at once, i think, seeing you hold Percolate in your hands. first was just a kind of dumbstruck amazement that it existed in a real, physical, tangible way somewhere out there in the big wide world. next was a sense of pride that it was something i had written. and third was just this deep, unending sense of gratitude and appreciation for you (and sweet Carol.)

i remember writing Percolate curled up on my couch or in my bed, trying to find the right words to tell the story; listening to music while i edited a chapter and wondering if anyone was even going to like it; how nauseated i would feel each time i posted an update until someone finally left a comment saying they enjoyed it, and the rush of satisfaction that would follow; and the 16 pages of looseleaf paper that i had first scrawled the plot onto when the idea struck me, and used as an outline until the very last chapter.

i sometimes forget about Percolate, so many years on. i'm not as active in the AOT fandom. i don't celebrate the big milestones it hits anymore in the same way i used to. the numbers (while something i am of course incredibly grateful for) have lost their meaning a little bit, i think, in the grand scheme of things. 77,640 hits is a lot of times to have been clicked on. 2,825 kudos means that there are almost three thousand people out there who found my story and liked something in it enough to let me know. and this one hard copy of the fic, that you worked hard to make with your hands, means that someone cared about the thing i made enough to want to treasure it. that's something so special to me that i can't begin to say.

this silly story--my story, that used to be just some thoughts in my head and now is real on your bookshelf--was an absolute honour to share with you, and it's as much yours as it is mine now. thank you so much for sending me these photos of your hard work, and thank you for loving the story. i hope it makes you happy for a long time!!

[wowbright]

Fic: Agency

Fandom/pairing: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Event: december klaine fanworks challenge 2023

Words: ~ 500 words                                           

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Blaine’s father apologizes to him.

Warnings: Discussion of funerals and natural death of non-canon character

Notes: This is part of my Mormon!Klaine universe. It takes place after Out of Eden, which I am still in the process of posting to AO3. It’s among the possibilities for their future. This is basically a monologue, but intended as part of a one-on-one conversation between Blaine and his dad.

“And that moment when my father finally went into the ground, I thought that's when I would lose it,” Blaine’s dad said. “Because he was really gone from this life, and I would never see him again. But as I tossed my handful of dirt in, I had the most unexpected feeling. It was a relief. I was relieved that he was gone. And it wasn't just for his sake, with the thought that his pain was over and he was in a better place. But it was also for my sake, and the sake of our entire family. When we closed the earth over him, we ended his reign over us. My entire life, I had lived to please him. I told myself it was to please God. Only, what God wanted and what my father wanted had always matched up a little too perfectly for my comfort. But I'd ignored that uncomfortable feeling, because that's what the church teaches us to do—discomfort leads to contention, and contention is of the devil.

“But now he wasn't my priesthood leader anymore. He could no longer speak to me for God. And I realized I finally had that thing that the church teaches us we all have: agency—the freedom to make our own decisions. All my life, I had thought I was doing such a bang-up job of living according to the gospel. But I had never taken responsibility for my own decisions or my own soul. I had never thought or questioned or struggled in the ways that Joseph Smith or Nephi or Christ himself modeled for us. I loved my father, and I still love him, but I finally started to understand the damage that living to please him had done to my soul.

“And I wish I could say that I figured out all the corollaries in that same moment. I wish I could say that my vision suddenly enlarged and I understood that you and Cooper and your mother were all graced with the same agency. But the closest I got to that was thinking about what it might be like for you in the same position, throwing dirt over my casket. Would you feel the same relief? I hated the idea that you would, but I didn't know how to change it, because I went from being my father’s servant to my own, all twisted up trying to figure out the difference between agency and selfishness. And I still hadn't figured it out when you got back from your mission—I don't claim to have it all figured out now, either—but when I Iearned about Kurt … I was selfish. I was still thinking about you and Cooper like my father thought of his children—measures of his own success, trophies meant to enlarge his kingdom. It is a horrible way for a parent to view their children. It's shameful. I hate to think on the things I’ve done and said to you both. But I have to, because I’ve sinned against you, Blaine, again and again, and I need to repent of it.”

[krash-and-co]

wdym by the infantilisation of george? genuinely asking as I haven't rlly seen that myself ahah but could you elaborate/give some examples?

note: I edited this ask after posting bc i wasnt done and also didn't say stuff entirely the way I meant lmao. I probably got redundant but idek what I wrote anymore, also there's a tldr at the end.

oh hey !! yeah, something ive seen are karim's (specifically this version) autistic traits and how they were portrayed in his fanon. some people either reduce him to or focus his character heavily on his 'cute' or 'childish' autistic traits, and this kind of becomes his main identity. he's autistic, and his childishness is pounced on and multiplied by fandom, because they want him to be cute like autistics are. he's autistic, and therefore vulnerable and dependent. a baby, not as capable as Lucy and Lockwood, which is nowhere near true. see the problem? /gen not only is it an unrealistic depiction of autism, but it can make people uncomfortable and be harmful.

I will mention this is an unfortunately common thing both in general fandom and irl, not something I expect one post to change. I am just sharing thoughts here :] but anyways lol

yes we as autistics can be childish. yes it may even be cute to you. yes we may feel childish ourselves, comfortably so, and that's totally fine. but it's when our whole being is warped into that one stereotype it becomes a problem. it's when people forget the rest about us, and we're your fandom vessel for angst and fluff where cute tiktok autism is our whole personality and we're not really a person anymore but a little pet people coo over. objecitified. people want to embrace these 'dependant' characters and they mean well, but the treatment of autistic traits can be.... uncomfortable. because, I mean, where does that leave you if you share these same traits? you likely don't want to be treated in such a way; you know you aren't some child to be coddled. but these characters are, and it feels wrong.

in good portrayals of autism and its acceptance, we can have all our autistic traits-- yes even the cute ones you want to baby us over, and yes even the weird and negative ones youd rather ignore, and still be treated as an equal, like george is. we wont be coddled more than a neurotypical, not treated as lesser in maturity or awareness, or shoved in a box. lockwood and co is like that to George, which is wonderful. as is most of the fandom, which is even better.

however I have seen this in fics and hc posts most notably, and it's a glaring contrast compared to the most works, and I do wonder if others have noticed and it leaves them with a funny taste in their mouth too.

not to get all preachy on this fine Wednesday at 2 in the morning, though.

tl;dr: reducing an autistic person to vulnerability and a childish nature, with malevolent intentions or not, is harmful. george is capable and badass !!! and honestly? it makes me as an autistic uncomfortable, seeing people with my traits treated like that over them by fandom, even though they mean well. balance is key. not being a total freak over our cutie patootie autistic faces is also. <- /hj /silly

obligatory end message where I mention again this isn't something horribly common in this fandom around my side of tumblr, at least, but I have seen it and wanted to ask if 1) y'all noticed it with George too and 2) share thoughts lol

ty for the ask, always happy to clarify my posts for y'all !! :]

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[lookbluesoup]

I've had a lot of people interacting with my post yesterday about wishing there was more fandom meta discussion and exploration of "missing moments" with... huge amounts of fear and insecurity.

And I get that it's hurtful to share stuff in a fandom space and potentially be met with silence. It's easy to feel drowned out or get overwhelmed in a big fandom. It's terrifying to be in an online space and potentially get harassed by assholes who think anyone who looks at canon differently from them are evil.

I have definitely left spaces before where one or both of those things were so prevalent that I didn't feel like it was worth it trying to be part of that community. Your feelings are valid, they're legitimate fears. But it really hurts my heart to see so many creative people be so afraid.

Based on what I've seen, I assume that many DO want a more interactive fandom experience, in spite of that anxiety.

I can't tell anyone what they should do. I can advise you that fear and insecurity usually come from the inside - from past hurts, and that understanding them and deciding you don't want to be afraid anymore, that you deserve a space and a voice, is an important step in being able to reach out and form healthy, genuine connections with people over the things that you love.

But you are the only one who can decide what's good for you. Maybe you need therapy, or a different fandom, or a different environment. Maybe you need to cut some toxic people out of your life. I'm a stranger on the internet and I'll never be able to answer that question for you.

In lieu of that, I'll share some tips that have generally helped me feel safe in fandom spaces even though I have sometimes have anxiety attacks just trying to talk to friends.

Block people. I am dead serious. This bit is extra long because of how serious I am. 1) You're deliberately putting your comfort first, and that's a good thing to practice and 2) You won't have to worry much about those people invading your space

You don't have to hate them, they don't have to be evil, you just have to decide this isn't someone who's opinions you want in your corner of fandom. If they keep posting way off base critique of your favorite character, or imply liking a ship/character is somehow evil, or are just generally negative and you feel worse after seeing their posts most of the time? Take care of yourself. Block them.

If you really don't like their takes, you can go into your settings and use the filter tool to hide posts that their username is mentioned in from your dash. You don't have to see them or deal with them. Ignorance is bliss.

This is not being mean, it's not being an asshole, it's not being insensitive.. It's telling yourself "My comfort matters." We're in a hobby space, here to enjoy ourselves. You can always unblock someone later if you want.

If someone sends you anon hate. Block anon. If you MUST reply to the ask to show your friends or get the last word in, screenshot it and post the screenshot to respond to. But click that menu beside the actual ask and block the shit out of that Anon. Afaik they'll be IP blocked, it will be much harder for them to send you additional hate. (Not impossible, but harder, and most will move on to easier targets.)

You are not "winning" by leaving them unblocked, you're not proving that you're brave or that they don't matter, you're just leaving yourself open to more abuse. Block anon hate.

Unfollow people if the content they put on your dash upsets you. You don't have to dislike them personally. You don't have to justify it. Being "mutuals" is often overemphasized on here. You can be friends, you can read their fics or send them asks and be supportive without having to see every single thing they share. Following is about curating your dash, not picking friends.

Don't post when you're angry. I know that person bashing your fav character is an idiot but do not vaguepost or call them out in a fit of rage. Take a step back, remember it's fandom and not the entire world. If the other person seems interested in discussion, you can have a good-faith talk about it, but don't go into it determined to change their mind. You're just exchanging information, and you're allowed to disagree. If they're only hating and clearly not interested in talking, then write something positive about your character instead, in your own post, and focus on maintaining a space with people who you actually like talking to.

Hopefully you're seeing that the above advice is about building a safe, manageable fandom corner for yourself, and feeling powerful enough to enforce it. That's important. You don't owe people online interaction.

Fandom acquaintances can certainly grow into strong friendships, but not everyone, or even MOST of the people in fandom, deserve to be your friend and all the social obligations that entails. It would be exhausting and stressful to do otherwise, and it's not practical.

Now for positive action!

Nurture a handful of good friendships. If you brought some to fandom with you, great. You're a book club now. Each other's main "support", who (hopefully) do genuinely enjoy talking together. Fandom at large might not always give you affirmation, but a few good friends who know you giving you that support will be much more meaningful and sincere.

Talk to people you like! Say nice things about their art, writing, or characters. Reblog from them. Show a genuine interest in talking to them and seeing their creations. I know it's scary, but if you're trying to make connections, you do have to reach out! Lots of us are scared and most of us don't hear that we matter to someone else often enough. Be the change you want to see. You may be surprised to find that opening a door allows others to come through it, too, and they'll often try to connect back.

Not everyone will reciprocate the interest, for a variety of reasons which won't usually be your fault. That's ok! If you like their stuff, keep supporting them because that's part of what keeps fandom alive, but look for friendship elsewhere. Even if it doesn't work out and you don't hit it off, you tried!

More people agree with your takes than you think. A lot of them might be scared, too, because going against fanon mainstream is intimidating. But you'll have a much harder time finding like-minded folks if you never share your takes/writing/art/etc for people to find. Putting your voice out there is an investment that might take some time to pay off, but if it makes one other person out there feel less alone and more validated, surely that's worth it?

You're allowed to change your mind. About characters, about people, about fandom, about yourself. You are not beholden forever to your first or second opinion about a topic.

[author-kweenyluv]

Even the Brightest of Stars Burn Out when you Forget them

Hi there! this is a shameless plug for my fic 'Even the Brightest of Stars Burn Out when you Forget them'! Posts about it will be under the tag #The Brightest of Stars fic

Chapters: 9/11 Fandom: Five Nights at Freddy's Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Moon/Sun (Five Nights at Freddy's), Sun (Five Nights at Freddy's)/Reader, Moon (Five Nights at Freddy's)/Reader, Moon/Sun (Five Nights at Freddy's)/Reader, Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's) & Reader Characters: Sun (Five Nights at Freddy's), Moon (Five Nights at Freddy's), Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Reader, Rockstar Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Funtime Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), The Mangle (Five Nights at Freddy's), Afton Family (Five Nights at Freddy's) ꧁☽𖤓☾❂☽𖤓☾꧂

Summary:

You've been dating Sun and Moon for over two years now, and while it hasn't always been smooth sailing, you loved each other. But as your three-year anniversary approaches, your boys begin to act like you don't even exist anymore, getting lost into their own worlds more and more.

How much distance can you put up with before your relationship breaks?

꧁☽𖤓☾❂☽𖤓☾꧂

additional tags under the cut

Additional Tags: gender neutral reader, Sun and Moon are Separate Animatronics (Five Nights at Freddy's), Sun & Moon are NOT brothers, Animatronics are Human Beings (Five Nights at Freddy's), Rockstar Funtime & Mangle are only mentioned in passing I'm sorry, this is rated Teen for Foxy's potty mouth, Foxy & Reader have a sibling-like relationship, Foxy is your pseudo-older brother figure now, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, things get worse before they get better, I was having FEELINGS okay, Established Relationship, Relationship Issues, Sun & Moon accidently neglect the reader there for a bit whoops, Bad Communication, Sun & Moon are terrible communicators, So is the reader, Everyone is terrible at communication except Foxy, the Afton family is also only mentioned in passing, Allusions to violence and murder, it's really small tho i promise, like it's only really in the end notes, the end notes have lore btw, Not Beta Read, No Beta we burn like the Pizzaplex, I forgot to mention this but Moon also has a potty mouth, oh no, I don't know how to end the fic, UPDATE: I now know how to end the fic, it's going to get much worse before it gets better tho, I'm Sorry, there will be a happy ending tho!, I promise!, remember when i said foxy wasn't bad at communicating? that was a lie, Do Not Use With Or For AI Training or Chat GPT

[argisthebulwark]

Ao3 20 Questions

thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3

How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol

What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.

What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild

Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.

Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.

Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.

What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.

What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!

What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.

First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.

Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.

thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3

[vtforpedro]

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.

[bearsandbeansart]

Hey guys. So, there are some changes coming to how I use this blog, and my presence in fandom overall.

It came to my attention recently that someone I know IRL found this blog. This is someone who I am not comfortable following or accessing me in online spaces. I did make a separate private account in the hopes of it replacing this one as my primary Tumblr, but people with access to the private account can't seem to interact with anything I post there. And, another downside is that any art I post there stays there, where no one can see it. There's no way to promote my commissions, or any online shops I use to sell my work on with that blog.

I could make a completely new blog, new username, not tell anyone, and just try to build my following back up again, but that is exhausting and I don't have the energy to try to do that.

So. What I'm going to do is simply use this blog to post my art and nothing else. No reblogs, no fandom musings, just the art I feel comfortable posting here. If you started following me because of the fandom musings or my writing, I'm sorry. I'm just not comfortable sharing anything like that here anymore.

Because I'd had a link to my AO3 account posted here, all of my fics there have been moved to a private collection, and to the best of my knowledge, they will not be coming out again.

I'll continue posting art here, but that's it.

[conjectureand-gloom]

for the fandom asks ✨ 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, 16, 23, 24

(a lot, i know, but i'm a naturally curious person as everyone can see. if you don't feel like answering all of them, just pick the ones you like!!!)

omg no i loooove having loads!!!

gonna put this under a cut because this is so long omg i’m sorry-

4- say something nice about a ship you don’t ship

oooh okay. this is kinda difficult lmao bc i ship literally nearly everything in the hamilton fandom. i ship some a bit more, but i am a huuuuuge multishipper lmao

i think i’m gonna go with jamilmads. okay i loooove their dynamic though, like friends to lovers is soooo cute and sweet and just so like. it’s absolutely adorable. aND LIKE. THOMAS TAKING CARE OF MADISON WHEN HES SICK. LIKE???????

5- something you see in fics a lot and love

omg. okay. firstly in more historical fics, i loooove the aides interactions. like their dynamic is just so special to me.

and something else i’ve noticed a bit is that in lams fics, john uses petnames a lot more than alexander does. i don’t know why, i’ve just noticed it. but i love it so much. i kinda like to picture that alexander just has so many words, but when it comes to having a petname for john he just can’t think of anything to describe him. i don’t know, that’s just what i think. also the ‘my dear boy’ nickname???? obsessed. actually my favourite thing in the whole world.

7- your favourite tropes to read/write/draw

my favourite trope is found family. i looooove reading and writing found family and washingdad and the hamilsquad and just agdkqhdkajds. especially if there’s been some angst and hurt/comfort shoved in there that led to the found family?? i love it so so much

10- a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

you expect me to pick JUST ONE??????????

ahahaha. no.

@jittyjames bestie i don’t even know how to begin this. jami you were the first person i really ever interacted with in this fandom. your fics just bring me so much happiness and interacting with everyone in the comment section of your fics just made me feel so much more comfortable and accepted and helped me build that courage to join tumblr and beginning writing and all of that. your support especially, both with writing and fandom, and with personal experiences have impacted me and helped me so so much. i genuinely cannot thank you enough, and i really hope you know how much you mean to me

@starduckys you are just. you are so so incredible, you’re so talented and so sweet and funny and just sooo amazing. i don’t think i can even explain just how important you are to me. you’re so supportive, and you have made this fandom so so special to me. i also absolutely love your blog, in case you couldn’t tell by my often stalking through your blog and liking/reblogging everything <333

@kwilooo i think you were the first friend i made in this fandom, back before i was posting, i think. seeing your updates, and seeing your replies on my comments (way back on wattpad omg!????) made me so so happy, and i still find it absolutely insane that you then found me here on tumblr!! like? that’s insane. anyway you are a huuuuge part of my fandom experience. seeing your writing made me feel so confident and comfortable and it was really important to me

@unicornsaures we’ve only started interacting recently, but i love your blog so much, and you seem so so nice and amazing and you make this fandom so amazing and special to me

unfortunately almost all of my older hamilton mutuals don’t really talk with me much anymore, but anyone i ever interacted with in this fandom, i hope you all know how special you are to me, and how much much you have all impacted my fandom experience and how much more incredible you’ve made it all. and if anyone wants to chat with me, please just message me! you’re all so sweet and i would love to make more friends, whether in the hamilton fandom or not <333

11- if you’re a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

okay i have a few.

this is biased given its personal AND super recent, but “i haven’t slept in a week”. i was scared to post that but im actually really proud of that writing lmao, despite how terrified i was to post it

then there’s “for all the love i’ve found in you, i’ll be forever grateful baby”. i hated it at the time but i’ve grown to be really proud of it, and that poem i wrote. also because i wrote that for akeyla and it’s actually really sweet

and also “baby it’s cold outside”. that fic is my child like i’m so proud of that fic

and then also “like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon”, “like mother, like daughter” (agggtm), “but this situation’s helpless” (this was my favourite fic id ever written for soooo long), “fools who run their mouths off wind up dead”, and “steal into my affections”

16- a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

omg okay so musical canon, i think people should focus on some of the ways that burr especially says some lines. like the sound of his voice, the way his delivers his lines. like i made that soit the other day about how he says “i get a drink” in the world was wide enough. i feel like we really need to appreciate more the way he delivers his lines. i don’t know how to describe it, but he just sounded like. flat. you can tell by his voice he was just like. “holy shit. i have just killed hamilton.” and he regretted it. i don’t know how to explain it. but we really need to appreciate this more

in historical canon, i feel like we need to focus more on the schuylkill incident. i swear that’s the funniest story ever. and also the aides friendships and family dynamic?? and also lafayette and washington’s friendship and kinda like. father-son relationship. it’s just. as much as i absolutely adooooore washington and alexander’s relationship, in historical canon he was definitely closer with lafayette than alexander.

23- the fandom you’re curious about because of a mutual

ooh. okay. this is kinda difficult.

1776 (musical) because of literally sooo many of my mutuals lmao. i’ve been wanting to get into it for aaaages and i know it’s kinda like. amrev. i just haven’t got into it yet

okay i know i have more, i think there are some that @felizusnavidad and @anixknowsnothin are in that i’m curious about but i cannot remember them lmao

24- how has fandom positively impacted your life?

okay. how do i even begin with this.

fandom has been a huuuge part of my life since i was 6, with harry potter. i remember when i was in year 5 (10-11 years old-ish), we had to write a creative story, and i fully wrote a marauders era fanfiction. because that’s how i got into creativity, it was through fanfiction. i remember my year 5 teacher giving me a whole lecture about how i can’t write something that already exists, and i was really upset about it, and i spent ages refusing to write fanfiction, and only write original works, and i just couldn’t get anything written. fandom and fanfiction is a huge part of my life, and it’s a huge outlet of stress for me.

i would use fanfiction to make sense of my feelings for years, even when i was younger, and i’d get a bit of disconnect from strong emotions by giving them to characters, and i’d feel just that little bit better. and also reading fanfictions, where a character is feeling and going through similar things always make me feels a little bit less alone, i could read or watch the canon material and see my comfort character, and i’d remember that in a certain fanfiction where the character may have been going through something similar to me, and i’d be like, “well if this character, who is so strong, can get through it, i can get through this. i can do it.” and it would give me that comfort. seeing my comfort characters feeling the same way always makes me feel a bit better about everything

thank you so so much for this!!!! i loved answering these <333333

[just-antithings]

I have had two formidable experiences with my friends being antis.

One was a friend (call them R) within a group of friends that I really liked being around on discord; But they were always the one to throw the first stone at MHA pairings (they're minors oh no!!) and stuff like somnophilia or noncon fics, and of course everyone kind of followed suit. I was the youngest person in this group at the time, everyone was 20+ and I was 19, so I felt like I had to conform at least in this group or they'd turn on me. I tried testing the waters a bit with an age gap ship and got clocked immediately so I dialed it back and said I was just curious and didn't know their age gap.

I start to stray from the group, join a new server that's for dead dove content, make new friends. Two years later I noticed the other server had been deleted and I got a DM from one of my friends there for a new server (call them J), explaining that they had a falling out with R in real life, because apparently R was ABUSING THEM emotionally and psychologically as well as physically (hitting them as a "joke") and so they made a new server without them and had plans to move out. I joined them, it was nostalgic because it had all my old friends in it, but I was still a little nervous.

In a couple 1v1 DMs I realized that they really... didn't seem to care that much about ships in the way that R did. I eventually shared art of an oc/canon pairing that's taboo in the new server and they loved it. J admitted that they were going along with R's ideology out of fear of being hated and everyone else just kind of went with it because of how much XYZ fiction disgusted R and to keep being their friend it "wasn't up for discussion." J is now in a safe place and I'm back in the server with my old friends without having to tip toe around them constantly. It feels good!

The other friend, I'll call K, was my friend for a long long time. We stopped talking for years and then reconnected over the live action One Piece. When I followed their private twitter to share art I noticed they had "proshippers DNI" and decided to just tell them that I'm pro-fiction instead of trying to hide it because It's been years and I'm over pretending to advocate for things I don't agree with. K didn't really like that, because they had irl trauma that I won't go into detail about. We talked about it for a little bit, but I could tell they didn't really want to stay in close contact anymore, which sucked, but we agreed to move on and not expect anything from each other. They said they'll unfollow me but not block me because they didn't have anything against me, they just weren't comfortable with the stuff I liked, and I told them it was okay and to take care. We don't talk anymore, but I have lots of memories with them that I'm happy to have.

Because of these two really different experiences I have a sort of complicated relationship with antis... On one hand, it does NOT surprise me in the least when an anti comes out to have been a horrible person. On the other hand, I try not to expect it anymore? R was an abuser, full stop, but K was just someone who dealt with their trauma by avoiding what they didn't like. Antis who actually avoid content instead of seeking it out always have my respect because they have active boundaries and usually aren't meanspirited.

Sorry for the long post, I wanted to share this with someone and this blog helps me feel less frustrated about everything going on in the state of fandom these days. c':

.