#I don't know how to self-care
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I'm sending everyone who sees this some mad gender euphoria. It should arrive within 3-5 business days. If there is an issue with the status of your gender euphoria... uhmmm yeah I'm sorry idk how to fix that but I send hugs and well wishes
🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
#trans#transgender#pride#self care#trans joy#transfem#trans rights#lgbtqia+#lgbt#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#i still don't know how to use tumblr#transgender love#lgbtq#genderfluid#gender identity#gender fluid#nonbinary#enby#gender euphoria#genderqueer
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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love?
probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this
and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching
he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much
but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all
only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#ivantill#i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough#just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently#idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave#ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing#making him the most miserable guy ever#...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well#c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated#wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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7x10 // How Mac Got Fat
↳ Charlie & Dennis + getting high together
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#charlie kelly#charden#dennis looks....... positively lovestruck#ada's gifs#ada speaks#the continuity errors between shots in these scenes is so funny to me but i only noticed bc ive spent two hours on this gifset#anyway. in my expert opinion#this is far from the first time den's come to charlie like this#i can see this happening frequently in high school especially considering their drug of choice here is inhalants#x2 when know how charlie's relationship with them was in hs#the fact that dennis leaves his room to 'be alone' and then goes to paddy's to get high with charlie#to me indicates he doesn't *want* to be alone with his thoughts like this#when he's already overthinking and self conscious#i think contrasting this scene w mac & dee barging into his room earlier is interesting#because while mac & dee reacted with immediate disgust and asked what the fuck happened to his face#charlie's just like why is your face shiny. then repeatedly makes it clear he doesnt care about anything beyond the basics#ok cool. chemical peel caused it. no i don't want to hear why you decided to get one.#and honestly i think dennis was counting on that reaction. charlie doesn't give a shit. he's down to hang out and he doesn't ask questions.#they both want an immediate out from the pressure they both feel and most definitely do Not want to talk about it <3#stuff it down with some.......... turpentine
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You know what I love about this show so much?
The kindness. The understanding. The redemption.
And that's in the setting of fucking Hell. The irony.
The characters are deeply flawed. They make a lot of mistakes. They fuck up even trying to fix things.
But they are trying. They have a lot of virtues, too, even though they don't see them themselves. They slowly but surely process their problems. They work around their trauma and the conditions they were raised in, deeply affected by it, hurting but still powering through, learning, and developing.
Although we are far from the end of these characters' journey, the SpindleHorse team does an amazing job of making these characters sympathetic, believable, and real. They give you the information and the opportunity to understand how complicated things are, how both sides of the conflict can be understood and blamed at the same time.
And the main thing? The forgiveness and redemption. You want these characters to do better, to be better, of course. But you also want them to be loved, despite the fact that what they did was obviously wrong.
You, as the viewer, already forgive them, and you just want them to forgive themselves. To allow themselves to be loved.
When I watched the show and saw them making the same mistakes I did, some horrible things I wouldn’t forgive myself for and struggled with for years, I suddenly understood the struggle. I empathized with them. I wanted to give them a hug. I wanted to comfort them and promise that things would get better and encourage them to give it one more try, one more talk. I wanted to scold them for self-loathing because I know all too well the kinds of dark places it can lead you to sometimes.
And then the thought comes to mind, "Can I afford a bit of this empathy for myself too? Just allow myself to live with the fuckup and allow myself to be human?"
It didn't fix me. But it eased my turmoil and taught me to understand it better. It taught me some empathy, too, and I thought I was the one with the emotional ingelligence of a nightstand. Well, I still kinda am, but at least I learned to listen to people sometimes.
I just want to thank the whole team who worked on Helluva Boss for all the self-reflections I experienced with their creation.
Thank you.
#I think a lot of characters could be placed in there#but you know I mainly refer to our favorite disasters stolitz currently are#talking about Stolas and Blitz specifically#I see Blitz and how he self-sabotages and hates himself#I see Stolas and how he struggles with his legacy as a privileged person and as an abuse survivor#and I love how deep and complicated they are#because I also see protective and caring Blitz#I also see gentle and kind Stolas#they both have so much good in them#and bad too#but the redemption is possible and they deserve it#and I love the series for demonstrating that they deserve love despite everything#and I know there are plenty of fans hating on Blitz or Stolas or anyone else but I don't think they really get the idea creators had#so I don't take them into account#akira's philosophical blabbering#helluva boss#kinda personal#idk even know which tags to add here#stolitz#stolas#blitzø
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I don't know where I'm from. My earliest memory is arriving. I was so lucky they found me! They took me in, raised me like one of their own, and when I was ready, they made me their princess.
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#princess peach#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#mario movie was like ' let me just drop some wild new lore in here and then not come back to it in any way' lolol#DOES PEACH HAVE PARENTS BACK IN THE REGULAR WORLD THAT MOURN HER TO THIS VERY DAY????#i don't know how feasible this would be but it feels like you could do some research to look up reports of missing children matching her#description over the last couple of decades and see if anything intriguing comes up :O#but i do love how this makes the relationship between peach and the toads so much more emotional and meaningful#they're not just her subjects. they saved her and gave her a loving home!!! they are her family and she would do anything for them!!!#they cared for her and now she cares for them even if it requires self-sacrifice#(another intriguing detail: the castle already exists here. did the toads have another monarch before this???)#(have they just been making unsuspecting humans wandering through the pipe royalty for hundreds of years????? HMM)
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Alright, everyone else is doing this so I'll give it a try lol. But these are things that I've thought about/want and have struggled to do.
200 notes and I'll keep my room clean (something I struggle with)
400 notes and I'll regularly go to the gym
600 notes and I'll make a new recipe at least once a week.
800 notes and I'll finish my fanfic wips
1,000 notes and I'll finish my original novel.
10,000 notes and I'll look for a therapist
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Before I start writing for the day I just wanna get something off my chest:
Due to personal reasons I can't stop thinking about reader, who got his very first binder, and showing it off to Gaz. Just the sheer euphoria of having a flat chest and having Gaz support you, calling you a handsome young man. And, like the good boyfriend he is, he'd give you tips on how to bind safely so that you won't get hurt. Seeing you this happy takes him back to the good old times as well and he'd suggest going clothes shopping with you as well. Either that or he'd let you wear some of his clothes, if you're comfortable with it. Just to see you confident in yourself, he'd share just about anything with you. His clothes, his shampoo, his deodorant. The happier you are, the happier he is. You're the best boyfriend he could have ever wished for and he'll remind you of that fact very often. You deserve to know just how awesome of a guy you are.
#cod#cod x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#male!reader#though it's more intended to be read as a ftm!reader#transmasc!reader too#Gaz is a trans man so he knows the sheer gender euphoria you get from having a flat chest#writing this makes me so happy. I just wanna be Gaz' handsome little man#He has some many tips to share on how to pass and look like your true self#I know not many people are gonna vibe with this but I don't care. I wrote this for myself. others can look at it too though#Gaz would be such a sweet boyfriend. I need him in a way where he reassures me of my gender and tells me that I'm valid#random blurb
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Buck showing up to visit Bucky at collage and suddenly all whole campus is talking about that freshman with the scary older biker boyfriend
Stop It I'm Going To Start Biting Things 👍🏻
in my Head, john starts spending every weekend at gale's since during the week they're both busy with classes/work respectively... so yk surely instead of taking the bus every time, gale's in the area occasionally to pick him up from campus and give him a ride...
lol john gets jealous when he comes out of class the first time this happens and finds a group of giggly college girls hanging around gale while gale politely chats and waits for him on his bike, but john can't do shit about it in public bc yk. gays. in 2005.
so when they get back to gale's he makes sure to leave his mark(s+++), bossily pushing gale down onto the couch and crawling into his lap and attaching his lips to his neck, all cranky and mouthy about "they were ready to jump your bones, gale" and gale stifling a laugh because as if that's not exactly what john did the moment the door closed behind the two of them. he finds his impatient possessive grumpy puppy endlessly endearing and sweet <3
#tough and sweet fic#don't even look in my direction with anything tas related bc i don't have self control rn#doesn't matter how many thousands of words i am into ch3 already i Can't Stop Thinking about them#i want to hold them in my hands and then squeeze them aggressively i didn't know i could care ab my own au like this#johnslittlespoon asks#literally had such a fucked up night but woke up shoved my headphones on opened ch3 doc and everything felt okay in the world xoxo
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I needed a break from being sentient and when I came to I’d scribbled out half of these. Sometimes, drawing a giant cat-alien and his repressed ex-imp boyfriend is a form of self care.
#SWR#Star Wars Rebels#Gay Space Uncles#kalluzeb#Agent Kallus#alexsandr kallus#Garazeb Orrelios#Zeb#quick sketch#quick art#sketch#Self care#No I don't know how to draw either of them but I'm LEARNING.#Specter 4#Specter 7#boyfriends#star wars
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The Interlude. A renowned and reclusive playwright pays a visit backstage.
#asteroid city#asteroid city fanart#conrad earp#jones hall#comic#may be my last post of them for now#if i have some self control#these comics are like my little night treat after working on other things#but they'll become the main thing if i'm not careful ahah i know myself#it's a good exercise tho letting go of something you know you could refine for a while#i don't even know how to draw them properly yet but as always i refuse to let it stop me#anyway hope you guys enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#my art#trans#side note: following tags are a pretty long thought dump#ugh okay i'm going to be honest#i didn't know anything about predstrogen until she was banned and many people started talking about her#also looked through photomatt's blog very briefly#to me he sounds callous- if that's the right word. he just didn't seem to care about what happened to predstrogen prior to her being banned#also? car with hammers that explodes multiple times feels far from being a serious death threat to me#yes predstrogen explicitly mentioned death wishes#but i don't know. what she said is more cartoonish than serious#also something i noticed from photomatt: where is the evidence that predstrogen threatened other users?#i haven't been looking into all this that deeply#but that photomatt stating that as part of the reason for predstrogen's ban and then not elaborating is. weird. for lack of better words#on a slightly different note: i love tumblr and how i can be my silly queer self and nobody cares#but if we don't stand up for each other — especially those who are constant targets for harrassment and other crappy things#tumblr will eventually die or bear no resemblance to the site i enjoy so much#maybe i'm privileged! being a trans masc guy#or maybe i'm ignorant#but i guess i have a tendency to say a lot. and i hate staying silent when i have the opportunity to speak out#so i'm going to scream#and i hope y'all are going to speak in support of trans women too
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like i'm trying to find the words to explain why i found don juan in soho to be so profound and interesting but all i'm coming up with is "they stabbed dj in the dick and when he comes back up to do the curtain call you can see the blood on his pants 10/10 attention to detail and commitment to the bit"
#don juan in soho#david tennant#sorry. evil casanova got to me. i don't know#IM KIND OF SO OBSESSED WITH HOW DJ DEALS WITH THE TICKING CLOCK COUNTING DOWN TO THE END OF HIS LIFE#HIS RECKONING WITH HIS MORTALITY HUMANIZES HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE#BUT LIKE STILL#DOES HE WANT TO DIE DOES HE HATE HIMSELF FOR WHAT HE IS OR DOES HE JUST NOT GIVE A FUCK#HE WANTS TO LIVE AS HE PLEASES AND WOULD DIE IF HE CANT HAVE IT#SO WHAT DOES HE WANT TRULY#DOES HE HAVE A HEART DEEP DOWN OR IS THERE NOTHING THERE#IM CRAZY#WAS WHAT HE DID TO ELVIRA A BREAKING POINT FOR HIMSELF AND THATS WHY HIS SUBCONSCIOUS CRIED OUT TO THE STATUE#WAS THERE A SECOND OF HIS APOLOGY TO HIS FATHER THAT WAS GENUINE#OR DOES HE NOT CARE AT ALL#WAS HIM KEEPING STAN AROUND WITHOUT PAYING HIM BECAUSE STAN IS THE CLOSEST THING HE HAS TO A FRIEND#AND HE WANTS TO IMAGINE THAT STAN IS STAYING FOR HIM RATHER THAN HIS MONEY#OR IS HE THAT CASUALLY CRUEL TO THE ONE PERSON CLOSEST TO UNDERSTANDING HIM#HOWWWWWWWW MUCH IS HIS LACK OF AUTHENTICITY LACKING IN AUTHENTICITYYYYYYYYYY#HOW MUCH OF IT IS CRUELTY AND HOW MUCH OF IT IS SELF HATRED#CHARACTER OF ALL TIME HE SUCKS SO FUCKING BAD IN NEARLY EVERY WAY AND I'M ENRAPTURED#if i were stan i would stick around purely to try to study him like a lab experiment#ok
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Arya stans don't want Arya to serve Sansa? Dany stans don't want Dany to be villainess to Sansa Disney princess? That means they are evil mean Sansa haters
Literally 🙄. If we discuss Arya or Dany as their own characters without adding a fifteen-paragraph disclaimer about how that will affect Sansa, her fans run with it and call it "hate". We're being so mean and misogynistic because we *check notes* don't think the entire story revolves around her
#ask#anon#anti sansa stans#let someone speak about Arya being a leader and they'll throw a fit cause they think it's taking away from Sansa#or Dany having a story outside of a villain who will specifically target her cause then she doesn't look special🙄#the fact that they accused us of talking about Arya not caring about Sansa is how I know they made that shit up to self-victimize#no Arya stan thinks that she doesn't care about her sister we just acknowledge Sansa's negative perception of her + the her bullying#and they don't which is why they think it's /hate/ to talk about what's written in the books
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Been a minute since I've been able to draw or even post anything. And that's cuz I've been busy af with a job that's been slowly killing me for the last 8 months. But it's all good; I'm actually leaving that shithole at the end of the week. Yay! Maybe that means I can open up commissions again since I'll actually have time for them? Who's to say...
Anyway! Had a rough weekend at Fan Expo Chicago last week, and I've kinda had this in mind to draw ever since my disappointing interaction with Neil Newbon. He was very nice, but it felt pretty clear that he only really cared about Astarion. And, like, to a degree I get it? Astarion seems like a cool character that means a lot to a lot of people, but to act like no one cares anymore about Resident Evil Village cuz it's an "older game" (his words, not mine), kinda killed my mood for the weekend. Not to mention coming back with COVID. That was also a bummer...
*I* still love Heisenberg, at least. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. ❤️🩹
#scammy art#scammy talks too much#shut up scammy chan#con venting#resident evil village#resident evil 8#karl heisenberg#karl heisenburg fanart#self indulgent#neil newbon#mostly just needed to get out the sad feels#I could go on about this weekend#worst con I've ever attended#spent the majority of the weekend in tears#and not of joy#also I don't dislike Neil or think less of him#this is just me dealing with my own disappointment#Neil was otherwise very nice and stuck around well after the con hall closed to make sure he got through everyone#I just think it's sad that he only really cared to engage with this one character#he didn't even have any prints of other characters outside of a general RE print of all the characters he'd done#and honestly I'm also just...kinda sad he didn't like the little Heisenberg plush I'd made...#I know how stupid that sounds but I worked hard on that and it meant a lot to me#and people in line were all excited by it#so to hear Neil be all not interested was just...kind've a bummer...#so yeah...just...in my feelings a lot lately and needed to get it out...#also drew Heisenberg in a way I don't hate for once and I wanted to share that much at least
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As always, a spontaneous post, but I don’t know, maybe someone needs to read this.
For all those people who follow my blog, or just see this post in their feed, and who may be having difficulties now in terms of mental health. My Dears, know that I mentally support each of you. It doesn’t matter what the cause of this condition may be, whether it is a diagnosis or simply a loss of strength due to life circumstances. You will overcome everything and cope with everything, be it the daily routine and self-care or temporary difficulties in life.
You can do anything, even if you can only cope with a small part of what is happening in your life right now. These small steps are the most valuable and are where the path to a solution begins. And I'm sure you can do everything.
Appreciate and take care of yourself, cause each of you is important, my dears ♡
#talk#I am writing this post also for myself#because due to the weather and several personal circumstances#I am not feeling very well in this regard#so yes#I really love and appreciate you all#we will all get through everything#self care post#<- don't really know how to tag this post so I'll keep it like that
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