#I don't think anything is WRONG with it necessarily...but I guess the spaces I choose to be in just aren't looking for something-

[sidhedust]

Damnnnn, I get my work is an acquired taste but to post your art in a server and see one like/heart from a bot while the posts before you and under you have that bot heart AND real hearts from real people...ego DESTROYED rn just devastated lads

[dazyskiie-luv]

Overblot mc/yuu but...????

TW — mention of vomiting, fighting Crowley and winning (sorry Crowley lovers), past death. I like thinking a lot tbh

not necessarily angst but it is in here! Same with fluff...this was really just me rambling.

* EDIT: WHY DID IT TAKE HOURS UNTIL I FINALLY GOT TOLD I WAS WRITING OVERBLOT WRONG.

I think about MC overbloting a lot and I also think about adding it into my own books because of how??? good??? the idea???? is???????

I genuinely imagine that even from the start MC was in danger of overbloting themself, with the stress and despair of finding out they aren't in THEIR world, away from their (family and/or friends) with possibly NO WAY BACK EVER because of some egocentric crow refusing to do more than he wants to???????

They would obviously be hella upset, stressed, depressed, anxious, etc because they know NOTHING of this world and is practically a BABY among people who lived here THEIR WHOLE LIFE.

So as more overblots happen, the more their OWN overblot is brewing. Bubbling, waiting to enter the game. Especially with the magic always getting slashed onto them. I think the only reason why they HAVEN'T overbloted just yet is because of grim

a more personal headcanon; Grim's fire, when you have a close bond with him, sorta starts erasing your blot and fueling HIS flames, making it more powerful. Essentially, think of when you're close friends with someone... you'll find it easier to fight for them right?? like you have more power to do that??? that's what its like

Now think of when MC is just TOO deep in their mind, TOO deep into their emotions and its the ONE TIME grim isn't there to help. They go to throw up blot and after panicking for a bit they just accept it. They accept that "I'm gonna overblot and probably die" because they're just too tired to worry abt themself

They don't tell anyone and since the overblot is already taking over the entire inside of their body, grims flames can't really???? get it all???? It'll always be there and it'll continue to grow and slowly grim notices that when he's feeling more powerful than ever while MC is showing obvious signs of getting ready to overblot

Grim choosing not to say anything to other people would be like... i guess out of character but at the same time i think In character????? He knows how tired MC is with dealing with everyone and honestly he's tired of it too so YASSS SLAY HENCH-BESTIEEE!!!!!

Sooner or later the others would notice too and it would be a little late to help MC since the overblot is already seeping out of their skin like they're crying. and honestly? their body IS crying. it's crying blot. And even as everyone is screaming and panicking about MC, they're just... sitting there.

Like they're annoyed everyone is making a big deal out of it considering no one cared before, and they're just like "stfu we're in class" and then focus on the teacher going "u can continue im sorry abt that."

And everyone is just??? confused?? because why aren't they going haywire or like.....???? idk..... crying in pain....????? what...........

MC just chilling the entire day while overbloting, even their overblot monster just floating behind them in peace and waving at times when people look for too long while everyone else is wary and giving them (+ grim who's always in MC's hold) a bunch of space while the teachers and dormleaders have their pens/wands/wtvr thr fuck at command just incase

but then everyone just realizes that??? MC isn't gonna???? do anything?????? and it kinda irritates them because why aren't you doing shit its freaking them out.

And lets say,,, ortho... as discreetly as he can... scans you. And it shows that you're perfectly fine??? like you aren't dying or in pain. It even shows the Blot monster being alright too like its just a guy standing there.

And now the confusion is up to 100 because WHAT????

MC and the Blot [+ Grim] just doing their everyday assignments and eating in the cafeteria with their friends being visibly tense and MC just raises an eyebrow like "whats wrong with yall tf" before continuing to absolutely DEMOLISH a burger they got for free. FREE!!! best day ever fr they'll tell you that much

I feel like the Blot would get sorta aggressive/protective when it comes to people who has like hurt MC to the point they had to take a nurse visit (half of the school but its alr we gang fr) but when it comes to crowley....??? They'll see the FULL POWER of a magicless blot monster which is actually more terrifying than the others.

The blot going hulk on crowley is so funny to imagine for me cause he'd just be running away and suddenly gets smashed into a pillar from a literal stomp. just one. and it was relatively weak compared to the Blot AND MC picking up and swinging that SAME PILLAR to smash it into crowley.

All that anger and other negative emotion finally coming out the SECOND they even so as HEAR that crows heartbeat nearby. It gave everyone whiplash but then again they also all collectively thought that he deserved it considering he hasn't truly done anything to HELP the students but just to HELP the schools reputation.

I'm half certain a student died there and he just covered it up and they turned into a ghost that haunts places. (i mean... look at the three ghosts in Ramshackle. they used to be students there I'm pretty sure????? i forgot.)

As MC is beating the DOG SHIT out of crowley the Blot is just cleaning everything up slowly because they realized that they dirted up the place :( and when MC is done they help too as the teachers all circle around a throughly beaten and bruised Crowley who has blood seeping out of his mouth while being half awake.

Of course they help him don't die because they honestly don't want the one helpful person to go to the equivalent of jail in twisted wonderland for committing murder and ykw thats so real.

I feel like as Mc stays in this overblot form everyone thats close-ish to them gets memories of things that's happened to them in the past like how MC did. But it's worse. I want an mc thats traumatized im sorry and i want it to be worse than what half of these guys went through.

I need them to feel guilty even more. Like. "Oh my god I really said that when— holy shit" FEEL BAD!!!!! Grim would already know their past because I know I would be cuddling into Grim's stomach and crying about everything.

When Mc finally stops "Overbloting", the Blot would still be there but as its own person :D How does this work????? it works bc I said it does.

The Blot™ would help MC a lot and vice versa, basically acting like parents now with how worried they get over everyone and the other. Grim is eating the attention up though as both Mc and The Blot cuddle as therapy (and bc they wanna)

Everyone (especially idia) would need time to like... get used to that because there's "NO FUCKING RECORD OF AN OVERBLOT BECOMING ITS OWN PERSON AND BEING....NICE?????"(shrouds words not mine ong) and when they do get used to it its like everyone is genuinely happier because! gasp! they are!!!

kick the crow out the seat. Both the Blot and Mc are the new headmaster contrary to the students voting them when Crowley got demoted from it.

I also feel like....??? Instead of MC goinf back home cause they realize just how BAD it was back home, they choose to have a bridge between both realities so that its their (friends and/or families) choice on if they want to be with them in twisted wonderland or not.

MC & Blot beating the shit outta Crowley as everyone watches (and cheers)

[paradoxcase]

The Unwanted Guest

I wonder why this is formatted as a play. Because Palamedes is forced to play a role while in a space Ianthe has control over? I love that Ianthe has conjured up this whole elaborate setting with multiple servants that are also all Ianthe

I originally thought the seven coffins were for the seven OG Lyctors, or maybe there are seven because Dulcinea is here, but that's my best guess. There's a ton of Significant Numbers in this story, but I don't think Ianthe is associated with seven in any way. And I'm sure the changing orders and which ones were used as set pieces, etc. are all just a red herring, right?

It's in a higher register, which is naturally associated with upper class/rich people, and thus all the connotations you'd normally attach to things having to do with rich people. I don't think there's really anything more to it than that. There are high-register ways of being rude, but I don't think this is actually one of them. If you are immersed to a certain degree in this kind of upper class culture yourself, I think it probably wouldn't sound the way he's describing it here, which might be why Ianthe disagrees with this analysis

See, this is how you be rude in a high register

Ok, I'm not able to work out what the two non-yes/no questions would be here

I respect this story's commitment to portraying necrophilia as the typical variety of naughty sex

I mean, her whole life is lies, pretty much - the lies she engineered about Corona, originally, and now she's also lying about being loyal to John, and possibly about being friends with Gideon, and she wasn't genuine with Augustine either, etc. She just kind of runs on lies

Wondering again how Camilla survived this, and also why there is all this emphasis on sexual reproduction there when I think it's been established that they do everything artificially now?

It's honestly kind of a shit argument on both of their parts. I don't think he actually goes on to show that souls can be diminished, either - I think he proves that souls can be augmented and/or combined, but I don't think he shows that they can be diminished, or that the souls that Lyctor eats degrade over time. I could imagine a possibility where souls can be augmented or combined, but not diminished, or where souls can be diminished, but souls consumed by a Lyctor for some reason aren't. I don't think all of these things are necessarily tied together

Ok, but that actually sounds legitimately hilarious

Is this like an Ace Attorney reference or something

I mean, he wasn't loyal enough to go quietly when Ianthe wanted him to die, if we can take her initial inability to get his soul under control as any indication, although since both he and Corona were there to stop her I'm kind of curious how that went down, now? It's interesting that sewing and mixing drinks were part of his skillset, he already sounds more interesting than Ianthe is claiming, haha

Something tells me this is either a lie, or Ianthe is just wrong

Why is it not "safe" to choose an already qualified person to be the cavalier? Is it just that they won't have total control over them then?

I was going to ask how Palamedes knew that Ortus got blown up, but then I remembered that Gideon told him about this when she went to tell him about Protesilaus's head in Harrow's closet. But now I'm kind of curious what Harrow told Ianthe about Ortus - she obviously told her something, because Ianthe recognized his name when she started using it around her, but maybe she didn't tell her about the shuttle blowing up. Also, Ortus was also chosen to be Harrow's cavalier basically from birth, if we're to understand that he was chosen primarily because his father was Harrow's father's cavalier. So that's actually an example of when that system doesn't work

Yeah, that was pretty funny. But has Dulcinea ever actually met Babs? According to Judith, she was confined to the Seventh because she wasn't well enough to go elsewhere, and none of the other scions had met her in person. Even Palamedes and Camilla never met her in person. And Babs wasn't in Harrow's Canaan House River bubble, either, probably on account of his soul being inside/part of Ianthe at that point. So how does she know what he was like, to be making a joke like this?

This whole sequence where she fences with these attendants which are really all just her is a very playing chess with yourself sort of thing, especially since she just disqualifies most of them. But I guess that's part of sort of being Babs, right? Rigid adherence to dueling rules

I just want to point out that this is after she exchanged friendship bracelets with Gideon. I don't know if she is lying to Palamedes here, or was lying to Gideon, or maybe both? Or maybe she thinks Gideon has had a level-up as Kiriona but is fine with trash-talking original Gideon?

So, that's from Hamlet, and it basically means that if everyone got what they deserved, everyone would be punished, in response to Palamedes saying that Babs doesn't deserve all this monkeying around with his body. But how does Dulcinea know Shakespeare?

So she did die again in Harrow's River bubble, and then something full-of-awe happened, and now she is on the far side of the River. I guess to add to the other unanswered questions from the last post, we now have "what's on the other side of the RIver?" From my perspective, it sounds like the far side is probably heaven, and the River itself may be Gehenna, or maybe Purgatory, from a Christian perspective?

Who is "her" here? Is he referring to what Cytherea said to him at the end of Gideon the Ninth?

This is from the bible - I think a description of an angel, maybe? So again, how does Palamedes know this quote?

Oh please, Ianthe, by the time you became a Lyctor, five other people had died, and Protesilaus had turned out to be dead the whole time

You know that now, but there's no way you knew that at the time. Harrow certainly didn't know that, or else she would have realized that her plan to remove Gideon's soul wouldn't work because she still needed Gideon's sword abilities, and I don't think you are actually smarter than Harrow

Dude, you spent literal months on the Mithraeum training with Augustine to improve your fighting abilities

I think the answer is the latter, but I'm interested to see if that turns out to be true

So even if she'd said "No" he still would have lost. He'd have left voluntarily if she'd said "no I actually have no idea where Babs is". He was gambling on her not even knowing whether she knew or not

I'm not sure why this allowed him to win control of the body. Did Ianthe just have a revelation and check out for a bit? I think it maybe says interesting things about why she was so worried that the same thing that happened to G1deon and Pyrrha would happen to her if she died - maybe she thought that she would somehow become Babs after death because of this conversation she had with Palamedes? After Palamedes and Camilla combined into Paul, Paul told Ianthe that there was still hope for her and Babs - did they mean that Ianthe should completely merge with Babs' soul like they had just done? I don't feel like that would have been an attractive proposition to Ianthe at all. Or were they just sort of acknowledging that Babs was still there?

I think this really raises the question of how Pyrrha and G1deon were so separate, and had different experiences from each other - G1deon didn't know that Pyrrha was even still around, and he didn't remember anything that she did in his body. I can believe that Pyrrha having an affair with Wake probably caused G1deon to have an affair with Wake, but like, I would have expected him to have some idea of inkling of what Pyrrha had been up to and not just thinking that he had inexplicable gaps in his memory for some reason, if this is really how it works

I think it probably is significant that the last unopened coffin is #3

So what is actually going to happen next?

Alecto has returned to the Mithraeum with Harrow. Ianthe and Gideon will probably wind up back there, too, possibly with Corona and/or Judith in tow, since I'm guessing that Ianthe won't return without Corona and Corona won't go without Judith. Maybe Harrow and Gideon will have an actual social interaction again, which hasn't happened for almost 1000 pages of book now. The Sixth House oversight board and possibly Paul are probably going to join the Sixth House and may not be in the next book at all, although I'm not entirely sure that Paul can navigate the River on their own without Nona/Alecto. Presumably Aiglamene remains on the Ninth and likewise is not in the next book, I think the Ninth has exhausted all of its plot potential as a location at the point, maybe? God only knows where Pyrrha, Pash, Aim, and Noodle are going to wind up, I'm still not sure why Aim volunteered to come to the Ninth, exactly. If Pash somehow winds up on the Mithraeum, though, that has the potential to be hilarious

[scarlet--wiccan]

what did you think about issue #3 of Scarlet Witch?

I haven't really shared my thoughts on the the series yet, so I guess this is a good time to check in. Issue #3 definitely highlighted all of Scarlet Witch's strengths, but I think it also brought some of its weaknesses, and directions that I wouldn't personally choose, into focus.

First of all, the artwork was the real star of this issue, and I have to say that Pichelli, D'Amico, and Wilson are doing amazing work. Going into this series, I was worried that the artistic sensibility was going to be a little too "superhero" for my taste, but this issue blew me away. Pichelli's fluid lines are complimented perfectly by the painterly, organic finish that D'Amico and Wilson bring to the colors and inks. This journey through the fantasy world of Subatomica was a great showcase, compared #1 and #2. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this vivid magic as we enter into the Bacchae storyline.

Composing an issue almost entirely out of montage can be tricky, but Orlando took advantage of the extra page space to tell a story while also delivering his thesis on Wanda's character. This issue nails down who Wanda is, where she's at, and what she wants moving forward. Orlando has really imbued her with grace and wisdom from all of her experiences, but he also allows her to be vulnerable, and arrive at these moments with a very human touch. I think that's important, and it's something I've been a little worried about, because it would be easy to overcorrect with Wanda and make her too infallible. I appreciate that she has really complex emotions and personal reactions, which is something I find missing in a lot of comics these days.

I've said it before, but Wanda's affinity for chosen family is a core aspect of her character, and I think it was smart to illustrate this with Viv and Lorna in the opening arc, because those two are the least obvious choices. Bringing Tommy or Billy in would be great, but it wouldn't necessarily allow Orlando to say anything new. I appreciate that Viv challenges Wanda and creates a sort of tension, just as much as I appreciate Lorna for accepting Wanda as a sister in a way that she hasn't done much before, showing that Wanda is more well supported now and her family is stronger than in has been in years.

Having said all of that, there are some things that I am struggling with.

As I've said, I don't love Orlando's approach to writing magic. Previous Scarlet Witch stories have made the effort to distinguish witchcraft from other forms of magic, and the current developments with Agatha are promising to expand its role in the Marvel world. So far, Orlando has ignored all of that, and is just defaulting to a very Doctor Strange sensibility-- mostly invocations of fictional entities and whimsically named artifacts. That's annoying, but I'm more frustrated by the lack of internal thought and effort behind Wanda's spellcasting. This is her book, and she's the POV character, so I think there needs to be more detail and intentionality with her powers.

I really liked the scene where Wanda and Lorna forge that sword together-- Wanda didn't just conjure a sword, there was thought and detail put into how it came together-- and I just wish we were seeing more of that.

Issue #3, for me, also called attention to the glaring lack of Romani perspective. I love the way Wanda and Pietro are being drawn, and I love the inclusion of cultural food in #2, but this is surface-level representation, and it's not enough to balance the decades of flawed material. Don't get me wrong, these changes are huge, and they're going to make a difference, and there's just no excuse at this point for the lack of Romani contributors. I literally know people who would take the offer, myself included.

Anyways, I was thinking about it a lot when Mardj was describing hte nomadic marauders that have invaded her home. I was uncomfortable with the language Orlando used in that scene, and I just don't think that very many Romani writers would choose to characterize a displaced people as unquestionably evil.

This lack of authenticity comes up a lot in Wanda's language, too. Orlando's research is still faulty at best, and again, there are a lot of people who could've been paid as a consultant. Mostly, though I'm just disappointed by the fact that Wanda is a small occult business owner, and there's been no acknowledgement of the complicated history Romani people have with magic/fortunetelling as businesses and cultural trade work-- or the very real discriminatory laws and policing of fortune teller businesses and "scam artists," which are designed to target and profile Romani families.

[ceeroosa]

i hate to be this guy

but i will, cuz i'm seeing it a lot a lot a lot lately:

i am begging people who have poor self-esteem and are extremely sensitive to external judgements (like, say, losing your absolute shit cuz someone made a mildly shitty comment in their public bookmark of your fic)

to work on that.

no, i'm not saying it was cool for them to say something mean about you in a public space where you could see it. i'm saying it's an extremely normal thing that you can't control, and you will be happier if you figure out how to focus on handling those things over trying to control other people

sure, make the PSA's reminding people that ficwriters have feelings too and demand that people stop making negative comments in public bookmarks because you're not wrong - it is a mean thing to do.

but it is also normal.

people talk about you. sometimes it's where you can see or hear it, and often it is "behind your back."

you cannot shame, demand, plead or tantrum your way out of the fact that people talk.

people talk about everything, and often in unfavourable terms. i have known people in my life who have torn themselves apart emotionally, have created such an obscene amount of stress in their lives, over the things people have or may be saying about them to other people.

"it's WRONG" they said

"let them be wrong" I said

because at some point you have to accept the way people can be. people can be cruel as much as they can be kind. they can be smart and thoughtful and insensitive and daft.

you, my little lovely darling, cannot control that and every attempt you make to try (and yes, I'm sorry, but the aforementioned PSA's absolutely count as an attempt to control)

the more stress and pain - disappointment, shame, righteousness, violation because i set a boundary why did they do the thing i asked them not to do why doesn't anyone ever respect me - you bring on yourself.

i don't want you to hurt yourself, i don't want you to suffer more than you have to. (unless you wanted to, i guess.) i don't want the things you enjoy and feel passion for to be tainted and ruined by other people.

i wasn't born thinking this way. i also went through stages (still do! often! recently!) of being frustrated that people can just go about life doing things wrong and being cruel and being stupid and i've experienced the way just thinking in that way increases my internal distress, it increases feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, of feeling like things happen to me instead of being an active participant in life.

the following skills have helped me greatly in managing these feelings:

radical acceptance: practicing accepting the unacceptable, letting it happen without fighting or bargaining or resisting, relinquishing all illusions of control over this, that, or the other thing while recognizing that the only thing we do have control over in this life is how we respond - and carefully choosing how to respond after allowing the reaction to pass.

distress tolerance: radical acceptance can be under the umbrella of distress tolerance, but this is basically anything that helps ease the sensations of a distressing experience; things that are comforting and soothing, distraction, and, yes, even avoidance can be a useful tactic in the right situation.

self-assurance: this one's pretty tough. you don't have to love yourself necessarily, but you do have to respect yourself because there will be moments in your life where it feels like nobody respects you and if you can't even retreat into the sureness of your Self...well, it's gonna be hard. humans are social creatures and reliance on others is not weakness, it is nature. however, we've constructed a society that does not serve us and hyper-individualism leaves people alone. regardless of whether or not it is fair or OK, we have to accept that possibility - and figure out how to be our own champions so when those moments happen, we can survive it by saying:

"I know who I am. I know that I am (a good writer, a kind person, capable, sexy, whatever). I do not need anyone to validate my identity as (a good writer, sexy, kind, etc) because I know that my actions align with my values as (a good writer, a kind person, a capable person). Even if someone else's idea of what is (a good writer, a kind person, sexy) does not align with mine, and they invalidate my identity based on their values, I still know who I am because of my values and actions."

or something of that nature.

AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU DO NOT NEED EXTERNAL VALIDATION OR THAT YOU SHOULDN'T SEEK IT OUT! OR THAT YOU CAN ONLY RELY ON OR TRUST YOURSELF or anything else annoying and lone-wolf-y like that.

you deserve engagement - comments, likes, reblogs, general squee-ing over your work, being told that you are lovely and sexy and powerful - we all do!

give and receive as much validation as you can. pay it forward. but in those inevitable moments of lowness, of radio silence, of questioning if you really are who you think you are:

it pays to have your own back, to be able to focus on the steadiness of your feet and who you are rather than what other people have done, are doing, or refuse to do.

[stormysapphic]

I don't use the term bi lesbian myself, but I am bi sexually and lesbian romantically? when I first saw it I thought that was what people meant? I feel a bit alienated from all the different communities because I'd have to exaggerate or lie/closet parts of myself to fit in. I think micro labels are, broadly speaking, bad but I also think encouraging people to hide parts of themselves is not great? I wish I could just say I'm bi and have that be understood to include my perspective, but I've had some pretty nasty experiences with that being used to exclude me or as an excuse for being cruel within a wlw context, and I guess I understand the impulse to try and stop people from seeing you as that stereotype they think is okay to judge/malign etc when that doesn't reflect your reality. Ultimately I think that that's on other ppl for being biphobic, so I won't cave to that pressure personally. At the same time it would be accurate to say I'm bi, and that I'm gay/lesbian, depending on how you understand those terms, and I can see why someone would want to not have to choose or to be selectively hiding one all the time.

I do just wish we didn't really lean so much on stereotyping/'identity politicals' as a stand in for political action/ understanding identities and each other, I think it may often do a lot of harm and be a way that desire for material political change becomes sublimated/transformed into infighting to the benefit of our oppressors... shrug emoji

that's something i almost included as an aside in my post! the acknowledgement that i do understand people may want to carry "all of themselves" with them all of the time, being "bi lesbians" 100% of the time instead of being a "lesbian" in lesbian contexts and "bi" in bi contexts. however, i wasn't ever really talking about having to do that, having to actually hide yourself/parts of yourself in any situation. take my example of a lesbian support group: when i say that a bi woman could go to a meeting like that and sort of "adopt" the lesbian label while there, i don't mean that they would have to hide that they're actually bi. in my experience, the vast majority of lesbian resources/events/etc. are welcoming of openly bi people... but there most certainly are also those that aren't. and i don't think there's anything wrong with having lesbian-only - or bi-only! - spaces for peer support and such, but if you only have resources to host one thing, it probably should be open to everyone who needs it. anyway, that "centering one of your identities for the time being but still not hiding the other(s)" thing applies to more casual situations too, in my own experience - if i'm hanging out in a group of my bi and lesbian friends and one of us says "look at all of us lesbos <3", everyone present knows who's "actually" bi and not lesbian, but no one (hopefully) has an issue with that remark referring to them as well, in the context of a bunch of wlw having fun together. the bi people present are still fully seen and appreciated as bi (and obviously i wouldn't want to, even casually, call a bi person a lesbian if they felt it was indeed erasing their identity). same way, i can be genderqueer and alternately take on the social role of "woman" or "man" when/if i want to, even if my internal sense of gender is the same throughout (and i mean, you don't necessarily even have to be genderqueer/nonbinary to do that). however, i definitely recognise that my current situation irl (at least for the most part) is very fortunate - i've been able to surround myself with people who share my values, such as wlw solidarity across identities. i'm really sorry that you've faced vitriol and felt like you couldn't be fully yourself in your communities. that's the stuff i'm probably most worried about when it comes to "bi lesbian discourse" - the vitriol between our communities and/or bi lesbians feeling like they don't fit in anywhere anymore just because people who don't know what they're talking about are saying some shit like "if you're dating a man you can never ever ever show up at an event that's labeled 'lesbian' - or, if the event is in fact open to people who date men despite it being a 'lesbian event', then they're in the Wrong too". thanks for sharing your thoughts! <3

[cassyapper]

If you had gotten the choice, how would you have ended JoJolion?

hmm interesting question anon. everything's gonna be under a read more cause idk how long this will get and also there will be major jojolion spoilers so

so disclaimer before anything else: i dont pretend to have known how to manage jojolion all that better, just that obviously it could have been So Much Better. as such this is not gonna be like a quality rewrite that addresses everything and ties it all up but like. i guess here's my thoughts

i'd start off by making it 50-70 chapters longer. with how long jojolion chapters were (about 50 pages or so each chapter), i think this gives us enough time to work everything out for certain

the tooru fight would be akin to the vanilla ice fight as in it's integral to the climax, just it's not the final fight. jobin doesn't die btw but unfortunately norisuke does. kyo, instead of dying, helps josuke get to the higashikata house. as they're leaving, karera shows up, having been called by kyo, and kyo tells her to watch over holly. karera promises to do her best in remembrance of joefumi's wish for holly to be healthy. from there he, yasuho, and kyo fend off wonder of u. they just barely manage to knock him off into the garage where kaato is watching over jobin. he taunts her like in canon, thinking he's dead, but kaato just laughs at him and says "you've done everything according to plan. you were always so predictable" and does the space trucking thing with tsurugi so he's healed from the curse. josuke yasuho and kyo are uneasy due the implications of kaato's words (did she know tooru was going to do this? did she know jobin was going to kill norisuke?). instead of kaato getting wounded from the last retaliation of wonder of u, josuke, yasuho, and kyo are standing in the way -- but this is when josuke activates his unnatural phenomenon bubbles and saves them

anyway so yasuho uneasily asks what she meant by "according to plan" and kaato explains getting tooru out from hiding was her plan all along so she could use him to save tsurugi from the curse. and she's like "well i guess it's all over now huh. with norisuke dead and the special rokaroka merging tsurugi with a rock man, someone who can live even with the stone, means that now i am head of the household and that our family is free of the curse." jobin stands up and is like "we did what we had to do" and josuke is like "even killing your family? how is that going to save them?" and jobin is like "you wouldn't understand you don't have a family" and he gestures to all of them (kyo, josuke, and yasuho). the rest of the higashikatas are like "YOU PLANNED ON DAD DYING?" and kaato and jobin are like "it was for you! he was going to continue letting you all die just so he wouldn't have to do anything about the curse, he was going to let the business suffer so he couldn't provide for you at all, he refused to take care of you just like he refused to take care of jobin when he was a boy, of mom when she was in prison"

the higashikatas are conflicted. they dont remember norisuke being so negligent and even cruel...but it's not like kaato and jobin are wrong?

but then josuke steps in like "norisuke trusted daiya, he wanted the best for joshu, he protected hato when tamaki damo broke her heart, he tried to help jobin, he tried to help kaato, but they were the ones who betrayed him first. he gave kyo a home he gave me a home tell me would a man who doesn't care about providing add more mouths to feed?" or something like that idk. basically countering jobin and kaato's statements and how he was helping josuke search for the rokaroka because he loved his family and wanted to stop the curse. if jobin and kaato had just TALKED to him instead of going behind his back then the family would've never been torn apart

but it's like it's not like either side is wrong necessarily. but now the rest of the family needs to choose how they want to remember norisuke quietly literally

matsuba goes with jobin and kaato. the rest line up with josuke. and then the final fights begins

josuke hones in on kaato while the rest of the family mostly gets tsurugi out of harm's way while he's healing and yasuho goes after jobin and kyo goes after matsuba

so basically fun with that. yasuho and kyo eventually spare jobin and matsuba because they don't want matsuba's baby to face the consequence of an abnormal life just because of their parents' sins. jobin and matsuba get thoughtful about this.

josuke is hesitant about killing kaato but she's not stopping lol. yasuho and kyo join the fight and it gets even wilder. but i think the final blow is actually caused by jobin. he wants to end the cycle of violence. he can't keep doing this. so kaato dies in her son's arms. josuke thinks about holly and kyo calls karera to ask how she is. karera reassures her she's fine

anyway the higashikatas grieve while yasuho kyo and josuke basically rebuild and clean the house lol. eventually tsurgui wakes up and everyone focuses their energy on making sure he's okay. tsurugi apologies to josuke and josuke's like im the one who tore ur family apart kid you dont need to apologize to me

the higashikatas counter that they did this to themselves and josuke was just the catalyst for it all. and basically from there the epilogue as it was written goes down except yknow. karera is brought up and kyo and jobin arent dead. also there isn't that random ass scene with josefumi's mom, instead it's josuke and kyo waiting outside the hospital as holly comes out for the first time in years (josuke uses the unnatural phenomenon bubbles to heal her basically)

umm anyway. idk. some things are never gonna get resolved like the wall eyes or the flash forward man or anything like that but that's just jojo for you. i think if it was something closer to this i would've been more satisfied. but yeah. anyway. also no fucking randomass flashback about a guardrail that was so unnecessary. anyway good night i haven't proof read this

[eukaryotesrool]

"10 Disney Villains Who Were Kinda Right" Is silly

Article (Read to see their full arguements, I'll be taking highlights)

Because when I think morally correct villains, I think Disney.

In fairnes, this article isn't saying they're right... its saying they're kinda right, so I'll keep that in mind, I guess.

I had my pick of the litter, there's SO many articles like this. About Disney and other works of fiction. Welp, lets do this.

The intro gives a us a look into the mentality of this article... it's confusing

"We're not saying their methods are necessarily good, but we can't say we don't understand their reasons..." (Excerpt)

Back home we call that having a motive. Having a motive is part of being a character, anything as good and logical as. "I wanna save the world, to help people." Or evil and illogical as. "I had a bad life, so I spite the world back and destroy it!" Are motives, having a motive doesn't make you a paragon of moral righeousness! Being able to sympathize with a character doesn't make them "kinda right", and trust me, the author sympathizes a lot.

"...It makes us wonder how many of Disney's noble heroes were the ones in the wrong. Get ready to rethink your favorite fairy tales as we look at 10 Disney villains who were actually right." (Excerpt)

Alright, now I get it, the villain just has to be better than the protagonists, lets see about that...

Also, I guess they are RIGHT and not KINDA RIGHT, pick a lane Screenrant!

Mr. Waternoose

(It's almost too easy)

"Kidnapping children is never okay in our books" (excerpt)

what an absolute saint you are.

"but" (excerpt)

Of course...

"At risk of exposing an entire world of monsters to the world of humans, anyone might do anything. If we take the child-endangerment charges off the record, Waternoose intended to keep an entire dimension of monsters safe from human interference." (Excerpt)

You don't get to just ignore crimes, that's not how it works!

Either way, that wasn't his motive.

"It's a case of the needs of the many vs. the needs of the few." (Excerpt)

They never say Sully or Mike are bad people, and there's an argument to be made their version of Waternoose is a terrible guy, but, again that's not his motive. Lemme pull up the quote.

"I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!" ~Mr Waternoose

He wants his company to keeo going regardless of who it hurts, he's a fictional version of those god damn petrol barons.

Stinky Pete

(Forgive me, but I haven't seen Toy Story 2 in a while, I did quick research. But please correct any mistakes I may have made.)

"After living in the shadow of space-toys and "spending a lifetime on a dimestore shelf, watching every other toy be sold," we'd be pretty salty too." (Excerpt)

"I'd be angry too if I had a bad dad, the genocide's okay!"

He has a motive, doesn't make him good, right, or better than the protagonists.

"He only wants the love and adoration he's been so long without. Is that really a crime?" (Excerpt)

No, that's a motive, he trys to force and manipulate other people just to give himself a happy ending that is a crime.

Again, no meaningful statements about the protagonists to paint them as worse than the villain.

Shere Khan

(Live action version specifically)

Main character is a child who committed no crimes, main villain is an attempted child murderer.

"Idris Elba's version knew the ferocious power of man and knew that even a cute kid like Mowgli could potentially be a threat to the jungle. " (Excerpt)

"He seeks to destroy Mowgli before the man-cub destroys the ecosystem." (Excerpt)

So... he's playing judge jury and executioner to a child who's only misdeed is being born in a certain way and who's actually lived attuned to nature for years, WHAT A NICE GUY!

"Ravenous predator or a concerned conservationist? You decide." (Excerpt)

I decide? Oooh goody, I choose overzealous misanthrope.

Also, where'd they get "ravenous predator" from? It feels like they're trying to make the opposition look stupid by misrepresenting them... or maybe I'm digging too deep.

Captain Gantu

"After reviewing the evidence, we're not really sure Gantu qualifies as a villain" (Excerpt)

Wait? You reviewed something before writing this? I wasn't even sure you ever watched the movies!

Alright, being a rude little bitch aside. Admittably he's a less evil villain, he even gets redeemed! But, ehhhh

They also don't really make a point of Stitch being worse than Gantu, even though they're supposed to make the villains seem better than the heroes.

He's a bit of jerk, and goes to far, but, oh yeah!

"Sadly though, he loses favor with the council and must join forces with Dr. Hämsterviel in the sequel." (Excerpt)

He's quick to betray the council, but eh, unless I'm misremembering, his inclusion in this list might be fair.

Sid Philips

Nooooooooo! Don't make a good point twice in a row!

"For the sake of discussion, let's remove the blowing-up-toys portion of the equation and talk about Sid." (Excerpt)

Oh thank goodness, even if they're right, they can't present it in a logical way.

"For the sake of discussion, your honor, we shall ignore my client's three counts of 1st degree murder... he ain't such a bad person now, right!?"

"Think about it, he might blow toys to bits, but he uses their parts to create new ones. That's the sign of an artist if you think about it." (Excerpt)

I-... sure, I'd just argue he's a child with seemingly bad parents and HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING TOYS ARE ALIVE.

But no, Sid is a complete monster, as we all know everyone who gave their Barbies haircuts and attempted makeup is evil and should be convicted of torture.

Syndrome

"Syndrome, in the end, was a bad dude. No questions asked." (Excerpt)

THEN WHY IS HE ON THIS LIST YOU MUFFIN!

"But" (Excerpt)

Every time...

"he did sort of have the right idea by making everyone super." (Excerpt)

That wasn't his plan, he wanted to be the most special guy ever by saving the city from a problem he created. He says he'll make everyone super when he's old and bored and ready to sell his tech.

aaaaand then they talk about how he was turned down by Bob, that doesn't excuse him, and it doesn't make Bob worse than him (especially because Bob grew as a person since then)

Captain Hook

(It's almost like the author was arbitrarily given a list of villains and then needed to justify them)

"Let's look at Hook's backstory, shall we? He was just sailing about Marooner's Rock, doing what pirates are want to do," (Excerpt)

Excuse me, is that your newest method of handwaving a villain's crimes? I like it!

"He was just strolling through town, doing what all serial killers want to do."

"the tight-clad hero slices his hand off and feeds it to Tick-Tock the Croc. Who sounds like the villain in that story?" (Excerpt)

Are... are they now trying to insinuate the guy they JUST CALLED "HERO" is the villain? This is just next level sloppy.

"Captain Hook's gripe with Peter Pan isn't out of pure evil, but justice. Losing the hand was one thing, losing it to a flying boy is another, but watching it get chomped by a crocodile just takes the cake. " (Excerpt)

Justice? They're just using it as fancy word for what it is, revenge.

Either way, MAYBE Peter went to too far, but he was still the hero stopping the villain, and any justification the not-so-good Captain has is lost when he drags the random children into the cross-fire of his revenge scheme.

"Is he really the villain, or simply a very driven man?" (Excerpt)

Lines like that is why I love these articles.

To bring logic anyone could probably figure out for themselves: being driven doesn't effect your morality, a good guy can be driven, as can a bad guy.

Captain Hook is both, he's a very driven villain.

Yzma

(She was so evil that it was a literal joke)

For the first time they argue a very evil antagonist deserves to be on this list because they're better than a very evil protagonist.

"Just because she's got the ghoulish looks doesn't mean she would have been any worse than her predecessor. Yeah, there was the peasant scene at the beginning, but would Kuzco have done any better?" (Excerpt)

In fact, that's all they argue, that's their whole point. All while missing that Kuzco GROWS as a person, redeeming himself, Yzma never does. That was the fucking point of the movie!

Edgar

(No, not Edgar Allan Poe. The other, less cool, Edgar.)

"Edgar the butler from The Aristocats isn't a bad guy, he's just been totally screwed over." (Excerpt)

Edgar's not the worst villain, especially beside Yzma and Shere Khan, but he is by no means better than the protagonists.

"A faithful butler playing second fiddle to a family of housecats? Sounds like Madame is just as goofy as that crackpot lawyer of hers." (Excerpt)

He did his job, what does he want? A cookie? It's amazing he's on the will at all!

Yeah, it's silly cats inherit the fortune, but answer this. Who's better? A pet kidnapper, animal abuser, and attempted cat murderer or cats?

Yeah, just take a moment, it's a real thinker.

He's also motivated purely by greed.

"Why, there are a million reasons why I should! All of them dollars. Millions. Those cats have got to go!" ~Edgar

WHAT A LOVELY CHAP!

Anton Ego

I was hoping this list would be closed off with a bang, like Scar, Ursula, or Lady Tremaine (some lists did try to justify all three of those folks, though)... but no, sad.

"Blah blah, he was just doing his job, blah blah" (paraphrasing of the article)

I never viewed the guy as a villain since Chef Skinner is the main villain of the movie and Anton doesn't feel evil, I agree with the author there, his inclusion on this list feels boring, it's not really saying anything of note yet its the last entry. Granted, he IS on the villains wiki, so I concede that he's a villain.

BUT, calling him "kinda right" is foolish, his whole arc in the movie was learning he was wrong!

As usual, this isn't an attack on the author, I'm just lightheartedly mocking the article because I think its... well, silly.

[generallybarzy]

not despite, but unconditionally.

an: written for my lovely lovely friend @softboybarzal who i love dearly so so so so much 🖤🤍💜 happy late asexuality day!!!! I hope this is everything i think it is and I hope it makes you feel all soft and happy because of it. I really put my heart in this one for you and everyone else out there who feels like someone won't love and accept them because of their sexuality. I love all of you sm and I promise you will find someone who cherishes you like barzy does in this fic.

tagging: @softboybarzal ​ @fallinallincurls ​ @matbaerzal ​ @npatrickz ​ @canadianheaters ​ @selenophileangel ​ @deleausvp ​ @colecaufield ​ @hockeyhughes11 ​ @nazdaddy ​ @barzysreputation ​ @comphybiscuit ​ @aboveaveragehockeyboys ​ @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself ​ @petey-patty ​ @starswin​ @heatherawoowoo ​ ​

word count: 2.6k

After only a handful of months with Mathew, you already knew he was an amazing boyfriend- always attentive, but never suffocating, endearingly clingy and cuddly and soft, and the most caring and gentle man you had ever met in your life. Something you loved about Mat- but, god, how could you choose when there were so many things to love?- was how open he was to listen, to learn about you, to know you. How good the two of you were at communicating with each other, and how much he listened and made sure he understood what was wrong when you were upset. But, this beautiful talent of his came with downfalls, and that downfall- for you, anyway- was that you could never pretend to be fine around him. He knew you much too well. He knew everything about you. 

Well, except for one thing.

So when you walked through his apartment door for your Friday night cuddles with a gloomy smile and a far-away look in your eyes, he knew something was wrong. 

“Heyyyy, baby.” He bounced over to the door, always energetic, and grabbed your bag and coat from you. He bent down and lay a big smooch against your lips, smoothing a hand through your hair, and you subconsciously leaned into his touch. While he knew you always loved being near him, there was something so withdrawn about you lately. He smiled his comforting little smile, watching you with soft eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, bubs. I’m just tired, long day at work, that’s all.” 

It was a lie, you knew it and Mat did too. Maybe you were tired, maybe you did have a long day at work, but he could see there was something else there. Even so, he smiled softly and kissed your cheek, vowing to himself that he’d get it out of you after a bit of cuddling. “Okay. How about we go cuddle and watch some Netflix, ‘kay? I have a hoodie ready for you to change into in my room, and I’ll start the hot cocoa, okay?”

“Thank you.” 

“Always.” He lay another kiss on your head before shooing you off to the bedroom to change. “Go get cozy, babe.” 

The moment you stepped into Mat’s bedroom, you knew how this night was going to go. Mat’s room was all tidied up, the bed was made and the drawers were closed and his nightstand was de-cluttered, and while he wasn’t necessarily a dirty person, it was obvious he had cleaned up today, and you knew why. Whenever you would come over and see he had cleaned his room, he would later try to take your relationship to the next level by turning your cuddle session into a makeout session, and the only reason those makeout sessions didn’t become more was that you would shoot him down and say you were sleepy. Granted, you loved the makeout sessions, you loved to fall asleep on him, and you loved how understanding he was that you weren’t in the mood. You just weren’t sure if he’d be so understanding that you were never gonna be in the mood.

After you stripped out of your clothes and into Mat’s big hoodie and a pair of sweats, you opened the door to go back out to the living room, where Mat was fluffing some pillows up and putting on Netflix. “Hey, just in time!” Mat set the drinks on the coffee table and pulled you into his side and flopped down onto the couch, snuggling into you like you were a teddy bear. 

“So snuggly tonight, Maty.”

“Only for you.”

The movie dragged on, at least thirty minutes passing with barely any talk between you. Your mind was racing with what you were going to tell Mat when he inevitably tried to make a movie and you rejected him again. He was going to be so upset, you knew it, he was going to break up with you right here. You didn’t want to think about it

Then, just like you knew would happen, you felt his lips against your ear. 

You welcomed it, gladly, you always loved when he kissed you. What worried you was what would come next. You couldn’t keep lying to him about this, leading him on, you had to tell him. “Mat, baby, stop.”

"What's wrong?" 

"Ah, I'm just… I'm too sleepy to do anything." 

Mat was silent for a few moments, before sitting up completely, bringing you up to sit next to him. "Are you just saying that?" God you didn't want to have this talk, you didn't want to fight, you didn't want him to leave you. You could feel the tears in your eyes. “Oh, hey hey hey.” Mat scrambled to collect you, bringing his hands up to cup your face and wipe away the tears, kissing your face tenderly. “Please, babe, I know something’s wrong. It’s fine if you don’t wanna have sex tonight but like, this might make me sound like a dick but I’ve waited and tried again and again and I’m just worried. Is there something wrong? Is it just that you’re not attracted to me or...? What? I promise I won’t be mad, I’m just trying to understand, ya know?”

“No, I’m attracted to you, I promise. I just…” 

“What is it?” Mat’s voice was quiet and gentle, his brow furrowed. He was genuinely trying to understand. 

“I- You might not like it, Mat, and uh, if you want to leave me after this… if it’s too much for you, I’ll understand. I won’t blame you.” 

“Hey, hey…” Mat tilted his head down to try and catch your gaze, his eyes gentle, his fingers even more gentle on your chin. “Okay, you know I’m not pushy, but babe, I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to, but I need you to tell me this. You’re worrying me.” Mat saw the hesitation on your face, the way you couldn’t meet his eyes, and reached out slowly. “Can I hold your hands?” He saw the way your hands reached out instinctively for his and took that as his okay to hold them, marveling at how small your hands were in his. “Take your time, talk when you’re ready.”

You took a few deep breaths, and could only bring yourself to glance up at him momentarily. You couldn’t delay this any longer. "Mat, I don't want to have sex with you." 

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head softly. "Um, okay, yeah that's okay. I won’t push you to. We can wait as long as you need." 

"No, no, I… I mean, like, ever." 

"I… I don't understand"

“I’m uhh. I’m asexual, Mat.”

“Okay.” Mat glanced down to the floor for a moment, biting his lip and furrowing his brow. You could see the gears turning in his head, and you loved him so, so much just for trying his hardest to understand it. After a moment, he looked back up at you, gentle questioning in his eyes. “Okay, so, what exactly does that mean for you, specifically?”

You were taken aback. Never before did anyone ask you what your sexuality meant to you. No one ever asked where you fell on the spectrum, they just pushed you aside because all they hear was no sex, and decided you weren’t worth a sexless relationship. You were at a loss for words. “I just, I guess I don’t get turned on, if that makes sense? Physically, yeah, I can get aroused, but in my head, I don’t feel the sexual attraction. Trust me, you’re hot and all, but it’s just… nothing… clicks, down there, ya know? I don’t get the urge to have sex or anything.” 

Mat nodded quietly, listening intently, so you continued. No one had ever given you space to ramble about your sexuality. No one had ever listened. And if he was gonna break up with you anyway, might as well get it all out. "I'm conflicted when it comes to sex, honestly, because I don't really want it or need it but I'm willing to do it for you if you really want it, ya know? I'm okay with making you feel good, but it just doesn't do anything for me."

“Well, if it doesn’t feel good for you, why would we do it?”

“It, it’s not that it doesn’t feel good. Well, for some people, it doesn’t. It’s a spectrum.” You saw Mat nod, and it made your heart swell how much he was willing to listen. “Some people hate sex, some people are okay with it, some people like it, we just don’t… necessarily need it. I’m okay with it, sometimes. I’m sure it wouldn’t feel too bad if I was doing it out of love, for you, but I just… don’t need it. I would do it for you, to make you feel good, ya know? But it doesn’t do anything for me.”

“So, that’s what was bothering you so much?”

“Yeah.” Mat was silent, his eyebrows furrowed up in thought. You could feel the tears coming back, even though Mat was so willing to listen, you knew he wouldn’t be willing to stay with you and give up something he wanted as much as sex. "I just, I know you want to have sex, and I just… I knew I needed to tell you, but I was trying to delay it because I just... I love you so much and I don’t want to ruin that. I know you want sex and I can’t promise you that, and I just…” Tears were streaming down your face now, and you could hear Mat frantically hushing you. “I just really really don't want you to leave me because of this."

"No no no baby, don't cry.” His arms surrounded you quickly, cradling you close against him. Your nose found the crook of his neck, settling there against that comforting scent that was just so him. His warmth surrounded you, you could feel his heart beating against your chest, his arms heavy around your back, keeping you close, and you felt safe. “Shh, baby. Please don’t cry over this. Please. I love you.” He lay kiss after kiss on your face, soft little pecks all over your wet cheeks. “I love you.” 

“But you’re gonna break up with me, aren’t you?”

“No!” He leaned back from the embrace, keeping his arms tight around you and catching your eyes with the most serious look you’d ever seen in your relationship. This was the first big, serious talk, after all. “Let’s get that into your pretty little head first, okay. I’m not breaking up with you. I. Am not. Breaking up with you. Ever. Tell me babe, what am I doing?”

“Not breaking up with me.” You smiled tearily and he beamed down at you.

“That's right, you're stuck with me." His lips fell to a tiny half-smile. "Listen, I love you, and we’re not breaking up. But, I don’t want you to think that you’re holding anything back from me. You’re not. It’s not that “you don’t wanna have sex, but I guess I can still love you despite that”, alright? It’s not that I still love you despite your asexuality, or even though you don't want sex. It's that you're asexual and I love you. Two. Independent. Facts.” He punctuated each word with a kiss on your forehead, his hands cupping your cheeks gently. He tilted his head then, glancing towards the ceiling as he thought over his word. “Okay, that might’ve been a little confusing but hang in there for me. It’s that… You don't want to have sex and you're my girlfriend and I respect that. Saying I love you despite this makes it seem like your sexuality is something I should have a problem with, but it isn't. It's another part of you, and I love you. All of you. My love for you isn't dependent on the idea of us having sex, okay? What's that “U” word I’m thinking of? For when I love you no matter what?"

Your throat was tight and your voice shaky as you sputtered out. "You, um, you mean un- unconditional?" 

"Yeah. Yeah. I love you unconditionally, okay? I love you for more than just sex. You're more than that... We're more than that, okay? A lot more. We’re all those dumb inside jokes we have that no one else is allowed in on, we’re weekly movie nights with hot chocolate and snacks. We’re hugs and kisses and cuddles on the couch after one of us had a bad day. We’re those shy kisses while surrounded by my teammates after we see each other on the concourse after a game, and me showing up at your work with lunch and embarrassing you in front of your coworkers, going out with all of our friends, and sneaking away to talk on the roof when the lights and the noises get too overwhelming. We’re about supporting each other in life, no matter what. That’s us. Sex doesn’t matter. If you decide later that you wanna try sex, I’m okay with it. If you’re okay with oral but no penetration, I’m okay with that. If you wanna touch me but don’t want me to do anything to you, I’m okay with that. If you decide you don’t want any type of sex ever, I am a hundred percent okay with that too. You know why? Because you’re so worth it.”

“Mat...” As much as you wanted to believe him, there was something nagging away at you, saying of course Mat wants sex, he’s hinted at it before, and what attractive young man like him wouldn’t? “Are you sure? You might be giving up sex for the most part.” 

"I’m a hundred percent sure. No, no, a trillion percent. Trust me. As long as I can stay here with you and cuddle you and love you and be with you, I'll be happy. Forever. Five-ever." He poked your cheek cutely, and a smile finally broke out on your face, prompting a stunning smile from Mat as well. “I promise you.” He leaned in again and pressed his lips to yours, passionately and with a smile, knowing that finally, you were comfortable again. “And I’m a big boy, I can get myself off if I need to. Promise.”  

“Mat!” You pulled back from him with a laugh.

“Hey, seriously! I don’t need you to do anything for me you don’t want to. I wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend if I forced you into stuff, would I? I’m completely fine going without, forever if I need to.” You buried your face in Mat’s chest, breathing in his cologne and soap, trying not to cry, this time not out of anxiety, but happiness. “I never want you to be scared to tell me anything, okay? I’ll promise you, I’ll always listen.” Mat squeezed his arms around you and lay back on the couch, pulling the blankets up around you and tucking you in tight against him. You snuggled down against him, your heart swelling with the absolute love Mat was willing to give to you. You couldn’t believe you were lucky enough to have him.

“Thank you so much.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I would never break up with you over something like that. Never. Now, how about we get back to the movie, huh? I’ve had enough serious talk tonight.” 

“I love you, Maty.” 

Mat smiled, his heart pounding against you. He smiled, knowing this was it for him. He smiled at the thought that he was lucky enough to call someone as amazing as you his person, his better half, the person he loved the most in the world. Sex wasn’t even a small price to pay. It meant nothing to him, sex wasn’t even on his mind, as long as he could stay in moments like these with you, forever. This was truly, honestly, all he needed. 

“I love you too, baby. Unconditionally.”

[squirsquirrel]

Kinda feel like shouting into the void here because tumblr is a literal void for me (and for others, I'm sure).

Anyway, I've been thinking a bit (a bit too much, I think) and I've kind of come to realise that the only two places I feel most happy or most me is the bathroom and my dreams. I would've included my bedroom but compared to the other two places it's apparent that it doesn't belong and I'll explain why. Not because I want others to understand why it's not included, but because I feel like I need to explain it. I guess me wanting to explain it is like me wanting others to understand? I don't know.

Okay, so the bathroom. The reason why I feel most happy and most me is because of privacy (reason one why bedroom is not on the list). There is a lock on the door that I don't use and nobody else in my family does either, but even without the lock it's private, it's safe (-ish. I remember when I was little I had unlocked the door but was still locked inside and I couldn't open the door. Mum told me that I hadn't properly unlocked it, but I vividly remember unlocking it. I could've been wrong and my child self wanted to believe that it was my brother and his friend who held the door on the other side to stop me from getting out, but whatever. Not the main point I'm trying to get at here if any.)

Back to privacy, the bathroom is safe(-ish) and nobody would just blatantly walk in on you. I can sing (i.e. quietly mouthing words), be dramatic and smile, boy I can smile and actually appreciate myself. I can play with my hair and style it, not have to worry about hearing comments from my family or other people. I can laugh (much like singing, very quietly) and just be me. Nobody is there to watch and nobody is there to say anything. It's just me and the mirror. I can look at myself and think "hey, you're cool" or "looking kinda cute today" and laugh at how silly I am! But put me anywhere else in the house? Put me outside around people even family? No. I couldn't and wouldn't be able to do that. It hurts when I smile in front of family and immediately get told I'm not allowed to smile. I know they're just teasing and don't understand but it really does hurt. I haven't had the courage to tell them that it hurts because I get super angry about it that it's just better if I don't say anything at all. It still hurts though.

I guess the two main points of why the bathroom and my dreams are my safe space is privacy and the ability to be myself. No one can intrude in your dreams. No one can walk right up and into your face to ask a question or say hello for the millionth time that day. You can just be yourself and not have to worry about anything. They can be a bit wild but I love my dreams and the realities I come up with.

Understandably, not everyone will share this sentiment. Everyone experiences different dreams and some not so pleasant as others to put it lightly, but in my case they are a safe space and somewhere I'd choose to go each time and stay if I could. They're not necessarily all about me either. Most times they're about stories I've read, fandoms I'm in, anything and everything (haha bo burnham moment) that I've come to know and experience. I just love them for that and it's unhealthy to want to live that way but I don't know. They're private and they're mine. Something I've come to learn and live by, really. It's a horrible way of thinking.

And that's why the bathroom and my dreams are my happy spaces. The places where I feel most happy and most me are there and nowhere else. Sure, I have a few happy times to myself in the bedroom when I smile at a video or laugh with a friend, but constant interruptions by family makes it less happy than the previous two places. Online spaces are different completely and there's always that nagging thought of having to act and be a certain away despite the little freedom I get compared to my immediate real world. It's sad to think and know you have more freedom online than you do in real life.

I didn't expect it to get so sad towards the end. If it even is. I'm kinda happy to just get this out here because, once again, I'm shouting into a void and don't expect anything from viewers. It's kinda long too so that plays a bit into nobody bothering to read. Welp. I've nothing else to add other than sorry to you and to me because nobody has to read this and neither do I have to say this, but there's some sense of feeling like I'm seeking help through this. Like, me putting my thoughts into a post and sending it off online will ultimately help me in some way somehow. Still, I'd like to think it's better than keeping it to myself and letting it fester or talking to someone who doesn't actually care/doesn't know what to do or how to help. I don't even know how to help myself so that makes the two of us.

Okay, officially going to stop here. Just gonna listen to music and clear my head a bit or dream. Most likely dream. Goodbye.

EDIT: I just hurt myself watching a tiktok of a person's animation with a wings au and three friends jumping off a cliff and flying into the sky. I want to do that.

[generalchelseamayhem]

Trans anon again, I have already disagreed with you a little bit, lol, but as long as you keep asking questions and discussing information in good faith I don't think I have anything to worry about. A lot of ppl consider themselves trans allies for putting their pronouns in their bio but refuse to expend any brainpower towards trans issues, they just mindlessly regurgitate whatever's popular. It feels so disingenuous, like they're not asking tough questions because they're afraid of the answers.

That's fair enough!

It occurs to me that the "pronouns in bio" trend as a demonstration of trans allyship only pressures closeted trans people to out themselves, in the sense that it draws attention to an aspect of themselves they'd like to keep out of public scrutiny. Like how the Autonomous Queer Spaces at my university (temporarily?) flirted with the idea of having a "You must be LGBT to enter" qualification. I don't know, maybe they still have it. But in that system you either have to out yourself, or you just can't access the community you need to come to terms with your gender and/or sexuality. Idiotic and counterproductive.

Putting your pronouns in your bio is less exclusionary than that, but as a closeted trans person you're still faced with the tough choice of outing yourself to everyone who would see your profile (including complete strangers), or lying through your teeth until you're sure you're comfortable coming out (and constantly reaffirming your gender as the wrong one is unlikely to help in that regard). Or I guess you can not put in your pronouns, and stick out like a sore thumb among LGBT-friendly communities.

(Geez, come to think of it, I'm part of a very LGBT-friendly Discord server run by a friend of a friend, where choosing your pronouns is mandatory to access all channels except the "introductions" one. I understand that several of the membership are trans. You would think at least one of them would say "maybe not all of my trans friends necessarily want to out themselves to complete strangers".)

[flockofdoves]

I totally get ur post in re Gerard and labels but as someone who is neither cis nor het, is it wrong for me to wish they were less subtle about it? Like I wish there was a resounding "heck yeah" when "is Gerard queer/w.e" came up and not a "well they demonstrated attraction to men and attachment to the female gender but they'd rather not label themself so....." Like. There's nothing not queer about saying you don't wanna label urself but I also can't call it queer :(? IDK if I'm making any sense

i get what you mean! i feel similarly sometimes

i think its a complicated thing with like. what is it that motivates some lgbt people to label themselves or not in various ways. i don’t want to be invasive and say people Have to label themselves a certain way because i know its frustrating when people do similar to me. its inherently tricky to navigate lgbt identity in this patriarchal world because literally lgbt identity derives from not conforming to the constructs of gender patriarchy uses to perpetuate itself, so we’re in a weird place of having to navigate our lives and how we describe ourselves and are perceived by others within that same system that can’t give us any real space to begin with.

so with that in mind, even if i personally have somewhat found solace in certain specific labels for gender/sexuality for myself, i really can sympathize with how a common trend for many people is to just not even bother with that.

but then also of course there can be other factors to why people choose to do that, like internalized homophobia/transphobia/biphobia/etc, or using it as a stepping stone for testing out waters before being comfortably open about anything more specific.

and i think a lot of times multiple of those factors can exist at once (not just talking about people who don’t use labels, but the reasoning any one lgbt person navigates their identity any specific way) and thats not even to say people should dissect all that, sometimes nothings really gonna be satisfactory, but one compromise is more appealing/comfortable/safe to live with compared to other ways of navigating stuff.

so with that in mind i always think like, i can’t claim to know whats best for other people but at the same time of course theres been plenty of people throughout my personal life i’ve gotten the sense were lgbt and maybe could benefit from being more overtly aware of it or challenging certain internalized notions they had.

gerard is a celebrity i don’t know personally at all, so its a bit different (although i guess i don’t have access to extensive interviews and live footage of people in my daily life lol. so its a different set of things to get intuition from) and what i tend to think is like. i respect that they are a grown adult further along in life than me and who obviously knows themself better than any fan does. i get the sense they probably at this point in their life have more of a grasp on their own gender/sexuality stuff then they’ve let on publicly (whether that means using more explicit labels or just articulating it more abstractly) i don’t want to disrespect what i see as them expressing publicly stuff they’ve clearly put thought into (they’ve stated they don’t even like labels in other contexts, so i don’t think its entirely fair to chalk it up just to being evasive about lgbt stuff) but also i think its a pretty normal thing for lgbt people empathizing with fellow people they perceive as lgbt (whether that be peers or celebrities) to speculate beyond the surface. i think its fair to speculate that with various things theyve said and done that maybe they will open up further someday (like saying

or how the way they used to go about certain things even if they were comfortable expressing gender/sexuality related stuff in certain ways/contexts, some of it was through a lens that demonstrated some internalized stuff (like for ex. the whole concept of prison) so maybe even if thats not the only or even main reason they don’t label themself, processing that (ofc they might have already! i don’t know them. they def have in some ways comparing recent statements wrt gender vs early interviews mentioning it) could change how they go about stuff publicly)

but yeah, i’m bad at saying things briefly, but i don’t think you’re wrong to wish that they’d be more explicit about it sometimes, or to speculate that someday they might be more open about certain stuff. i feel similarly a lot. basically like. if they’re satisfied where they are now then i’m happy for them. i can’t know one way or the other what their inner life or wishes/comfort with this stuff really is and am not gonna pretend i know whats best for them, but i do know speaking as a fan, it would make me really happy to see them as a celebrity i looked up to in part as a gender/sexuality role model back when i was a tween be more open about it in a way that people would have a hard time denying. they don’t owe that to me of course, that might not be what they ever want to do, but i think its fair to say it could be a possibility, and its okay to be interested in that prospect.

edit: also ftr i think its fine to refer to them as lgbt, thats more of a general classification than a personal label. and even like. casually referring to them as like. ‘functionally bi’ or nonbinary i dont think would be a big deal unless they some day became vocally against that. bisexuality specifically has an interesting history with its use as a term to describe anyone whos actively attracted to any gender vs many people who technically fit those qualifications preferring to personally express that in different terms but not necessarily having that mean they want to distance themselves from bisexual communities/discussions/etc

[evamohns]

For me the problem is not William's character as such. He's an asshole and shows need these kind of characters. What I'll never support though is the fact that he pressured Noora into a relationship even though she was absolutely not into in from the beginning and this was framed as something "romantic". I'm sorry, but it was not. I don't know what Julie wanted us to take away from that clichee "romance": That girls need to be pressured to realise they maybe could like someone? ... (1/?)

That being a creeperand emotionally maniulative is romantic? That girls who do not give in arestupid? That it’s totally ok for guys to not take no for an answer? Thatblackmail is a legit way of making girls yours? Also William is portrayed assomeone who is always right, just misunderstood. He doesn’t need to own up tohis mistakes because excuses are made for him. This makes it seem like Noorawas wrong in realising he is an asshole. He was, and is (not only to Noora, butto Vilde and all the other girls), but the way their relationship is shownmakes it seem like the man always knows best and has the right to get the girlhe wants – no matter what she thinks. Julie made a choice in making William anasshole. She also made a choice to romanticise it. So for me Noorhelm and allit stands for is super problematic.

OKAY. Buckle up kids, this is gonna take awhile.

First off:

William never pressured her. Not onesingle time. But more on that later.

Vilde and William. Was. A. One. Sided.Relationship. Vilde materialised and narrated a whole scenario in her head thatwas not happening. They were attracted to each other, they slept together, endof story. The audience was never given any indication that William wanted anythingmore, he didn’t lead her on after the fact, I’m guessing that in William’smind, they both got what they wanted and that’s that; but then here’s this girlcrawling at his feet that he has no romantic interest in, and the onlyplausible way he sees to free himself and her, is to stomp out any residualfeelings. Which he does, brutally.

But before we get hyped up aboutthe following scene, I just want to mention something I’ve talked about before:if it was William following around Vilde, obsessing over her, finding any opportunityto be around her when it has been clearly shown that she ahs no interest in himromantically, there would be no misconceptions and calling Vilde manipulative, abitch, or any of the like. People would be crucifying William for stalking orwhatnot, and praising Vilde for her wit and crushing of a pathetic first year.Instead they choose to ignore that fact that William never made any promises toVilde, and didn’t owe her anything afterward, and vice versa.

But getting back on track, William’sfirst advance was after Noora belittled him in front of the group (rightfully so),and he was immediately brushed off, though the edit still chooses to show Nooralingering on William’s retreating figure, implying interest and obviously foreshadowing.After this, he doesn’t speak to Noora or show any other interest in her untilthe staircase scene (‘you’re so fucking beautiful’). And, anon, if you can findanyone, anti- or pro- who honestly, 100% believes that Noora was not positivelyaffected by William in this moment, I’ll be legitimately shocked. That scenewas flirting 101, and no one can say otherwise.

Cut to the xmas party scene, wherewe later find out that William has agreed to a date with Vilde in order toultimately be closer to Noora.  Yes, thiswas a shitty thing to do, but as soon as Noora realises what he was doing, sheasks him to stop and he does on the condition of one date. Not a relationship,not sex, just an hour with her, talking, to which she accepts. He picks her up,brings her a blanket and cocoa and remains polite, recognises she doesn’t necessarilywant to be there and so keeps his distance, tries to impress her, and offers todrive Noora home after cutting the increasingly positive date short.

The party at William’s house isthem getting to know each other, exploring their attraction, having fun,PLAYING w EACH OTHER, and William being relatively reserved (the stripping partdoes make me roll my eyes IF I’M BEING HONEST lmao). And it’s here that we seeNoora take the first real step forward into their relationship – lying andsaying that she has to stay over, and once this info is outed, William has afoot in the door, and he knows it. Anyways, fast forwarding through the cabinep and we get to the Syria party. A party that was designed to raise money solelyfor the Penetrator’s buss,  but afterinviting Noora and getting thoroughly confused by her reasoning for not wantingto go, decides to include the refugee cause to the funds raised, all so Noora MAYshow up.

Okay, this is where I start to getheated, because people always seem to forget about this motherfucking scene.Noora is being extremely difficult and stubborn and, to be honest, rude towardhim, and he asks her point blank if she likes him, and tells her that that willbe it if she doesn’t. He’ll stop and leave her be. He. Will. Stop. And. Leave. Her.Alone. If. She. So. Chooses. And she says what she says, and William leavesimmediately. Noora has to sprint and catch him, and SHE KISSES HIM. She initiateseverything, William was ready to stop and give up. It’s Noora who STARTS THERELATIONSHIP.

What part of all that is emotionallymanipulative? Oh, nothing? You don’t say.

Alright, now to the drama, andwhere I can see some people misconstruing everything. Nico enters andeverything basically goes to hell. William is trying to protect Noora from his brother,but Noora doesn’t understand why until after everything happens many episodeslater. So, we have William adamantly trying to keep Noora away from his brother,but in a textbook case of ‘Why Communication is Important in Relationships’, bothof them omit information that would turn out to be vital and would have stoppedpractically everything in eps 7-11 from happening, they take that break. And it’sin these eps, where they have little to no communication, Noora gets drugged/drunk,and wakes up with Nico, and basically has PTSD from it, that William reallysteps up, even though he doesn’t know what’s happening, why his girlfriend isspacing out and having panic attacks. He soothes her, her calms her down, helets her get the sleep she desperately needed, he writes her goddamn paper for her,he doesn’t invade her privacy and snoop on her computer, he stays with her forfifteen hours straight and meanwhile organises everything about the Norway Daything with Eva, Vilde, Sana, and Chris on Noora’s behalf.

And then, comes the fucking text.William, after being told they were on a break, which he accepted, after makingup, after being shut out again immediately, after Noora breaking down, is senta photo (or was it a text – I can’t remember), of Noora with his brother, thismonster he tried so damn hard to keep Noora way from. And Noora can’t give hima straight answer when he confronts her, because she really doesn’t know atthis point. And, he doesn’t lash out or become aBuSiVe, he walks away. Hejust, walks away. He doesn’t get aggressive, he doesn’t yell, he literally justwalks the fuck away.

Noora finds out Nico is a piece ofshit, gets more insight on William, realises she did fuck up, realises thatWilliam was only trying to protect her from Nico. While he’s still extremely angryat her, when she confronts him in the hallway, he again remains silent anddoesn’t lash out at her. She says what she needed to and he listens, and agreesto meet her for their talk.

The talk happens, they make up, andafter everything, William goes and turns himself in for the bottle smashing becauseof everything Noora has told him and taught him.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something Iwanted to say, but yeah, there’s that. Noora was pretty much in control theentire time they were actually together. She was controlling who they told,where they were seen, the break was her idea, and she was the one to seek outWilliam and make up with him. Noora was head over heels in love with him, andhe for her, and if there is any flaw in their relationship in s2, it’s fuckingcommunication with a capital C, not abuse, not manipulation, but fuckingcommunication. If they had just said everything they needed to say, at anypoint before episode 7, the entire second half of the season would not havehappened, but that’s none of my business.

Okay, so quickly over season 3 and4: Noora after knowing about Nico, William’s sister, his parent’s, and his fearof abandonment, ups and leaves him without telling him about it, without eventalking to him out it, and again, he remains silent – he doesn’t lash out, herdoesn’t hurt her in any way, he thinks that that is what she wanted, truly, andso he lets her go. When Sana sends that email, he drops EVERYTHING and comesback home to her. So emotionally manipulative, I know, wow.

Anyway, just some rounding off someof your points:

William never pressured her into sex. Afterrealising she was very serious about not wanting sex, he is the one stoppingthem from going further (revue room, clumsy scene, bench top kitchen scene, 2x12bed scene), and yeah he probably shouldn’t have said ‘I should probably ask ifyou’re ready, but I don’t care’, but if we are believing that Noora literally textedhim ‘I want to fuck you’, there doesn’t leave much room for misinterpretation.

When he was told no, he stayed away. The Justin Bieberscene: she says no, he leaves. She says she doesn’t like him: he leaves. She saysshe’s not ready for sex: he complies with that request and stops Noora whenevershe got a bit too heavy handed. She asks for a break: he agrees without a realfight, even though he knows it’s not what’s best for the both of them.

Blackmailing is wrong, he shouldn’t have donethat. But I don’t think it was with the exact intent of MAKING Noora HIS!!!!!!,for fucks sake.

The man always knows best: I honestly don’t knowwhere you’re going with this point. Whenever it’s shown that either of themthink they know best, it’s shown that they both are wrong, and/or shouldn’thave thought that way. See, lack of communication, Noora lying about whathappened for so long, William not telling her about the fight, the whole argumentabout the fight and the break, Noora lying and saying she has no feelings forhim in 1x05, etc.

William not owning up to his mistakes: Whatmistakes did he make exactly? The blackmail for a date: solved. Lying aboutNico: had valid reasons to. Being a dick: every other character on this show isan asshole, at one point or consistently, it seems to be a running characterflaw – none of them are just as upfront about it as William. Being abusive: heisn’t. Being emotionally manipulative: he isn’t.

So there, that’s my takeaway of William’s character andtheir relationship, and from now on, anytime I get an ask like the ridiculousone above, even after all this time, and after my opinions on this topic havebeen well an truly been put through the wringer, I am referring everyone tothis post. So one last time: no one is ever going to change my mindset, sendingin messages like these will only fuel me to write more about why William isactually one of the most compelling characters on the show, why his and Noora’srelationship is an incredible journey of self-discovery, and why William shouldnot be singled out for being A KID, just like the rest of the them, for beingunreserved about who he is, and for loving the fuck out of Noora Amalie Saetre.

[hookahmancer]

Coldsteel: Hot and Cold Part 8

Eggman in his lab noticing strange wave patterns and calls some of his bots over.

"Look at the graviton expenditure out in far space! This is insane!!!"

"It sure is HP Lovecraft..."

"Why didn't I build you useless paper weights to be as smart as me?"

"Cause you're A narcissist and would feel threatened by..." Eggman shoves one of their faces into the monitor

"Just look at the dot! It's green!"

"It says not to strongly interpret the dot..."

"Have you been shitposting on /X/ again sir?"

"Nevermind that! We need too find out what is causing these disturbances!"

Coldsteel and Amy are on a nice picnic smoking hookah, and Coldsteel is tormenting an ant keeping a pie crumb just out of it's grasp. "Heh! Nothing person-el kid..."

"Coldsteel can you stop being evil for like two seconds?"

"Fine!!!"

"SIMP!" "What? Who said that?!" "I did soy boy..."

Standing by a tree is Scourge smoking a hookah too.

"Who the fuck is this guy?!"

Amy blushes "he looks like Sonic...but...not?"

"Cause I am Sonic tater thot." "Tater thot?"

"Cause you're young, retarded, mind of a potato...tater thot."

Coldsteel looks at Amy "oooh that's good"

Amy pulls out her hammer. "I don't know who you think you are but..."

Scourge zips right pass her and grabs her hammer and smashes the whole pie.

"My pumpkin pie!!!" "You need to cut back on the carbs anyway chubs"

Coldsteel is rolling around the ground laughing while Amy growls and Coldsteel gets up pretending to be offended. "Now listen here pip squeak, I..."

"You what? You're the big gay?" "What?"

"What ain't no countty I ever hesrd of! Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you!"

Amy says "ahhh, pulp fiction reference..." Scourge splats her sandwiches too.

"Now you're just being RUDE!"

Sonic runs toward the commotion and sees the three of them.

"Coldsteel, Amy! And..."

"Scourge. You know me idiot. I'm like...you from a parallel universe or something."

"Oh right right. Yeah...Scourge!!! Tails do we know this guy?"

Tails shrugs.

"What sorta Mandela Effect shit is this? We've fought like a bajillion times. I basically turned your super Sonic form into ultra instinct."

"Ohhhh I remember" "don't patronize me"

Coldsteel now actually gets offended

"Back off poser! Sonic is MY arch nemesis who've gone toe to toe!"

"Actually we never fought..." "What?! That's so weird..."

"I know right? There was that time you made Tails fall in love with you and I called you a groomer, that time you kidnapped Amy, that time you tried to nuke the planet... But nope. Never fought."

"Huh...so weird..."

Scourge gets in front of Coldsteel

"Well unlike this nerd I don't back down from a fight. Why don't we throw down right now?"

Amy is getting hyped "yeah! Do it! All these hyper masculine hedgehogs throwing down, getting all sweaty and vicious, testosterone protruding from their pores..."

Coldsteel says "Amy you coomer!" Scourge mutters

"She's a weird one..." And winks at her "I likem a little weird..."

She squeals a high pitch girly shrill and Coldsteel says "Sonic, let's double team this guy!"

Amy says "double team me!" They all get grossed out and Coldsteel yells "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Eggman is zooming on his hovercraft "Stooooop!!!!"

Sonic looks up "oh great now Robuttnik is here..."

"And now I'm as dry as these crossaints Coldsteel made..."

"Hey I don't bake! I vape!" "Gay..." Mutters Scourge

"You vape too!" "Boys vape, men smoke."

Eggman gets off the hovercraft panting and flailing his arms

"None of you hedgehogs do anything!!!" Tails mutters "that's what they're best at..."

"I now see what the graviton leaks are about...Coldsteel, and umm..."

"Scourge. I'm not saying it again..."

"Yeah yeah sure. Scourge!!! You both are cold!"

"Heh...well I am cold hearted..." Says Coldsteel and Scourge says "I'm cool not cold"

"No no no! You're BOTH Coldsteel!"

Sonic crosses his arms... "Is this gonna turn into some sorta pseudo scientific babble?"

Eggman uses a remote to turn on a hologram billboard "oh God it is...later" Sonic dashes off and Tails runs after Sonic "Sonic don't leave me here to deal with this contrived plot point alone!!!"

Eggman explains

"Space and time are both neatly defined parameters... However, it is possible to distort space to go back in time, creating an alternate timeline. Scourge...have you ever gone back in time? To do so could have the you as in Coldsteel, turn into Coldsteel as we know him but you remember Scourge."

"Can't say that I have Eggman..." He blows hookah smoke in his face and Eggman smacks it away

"An alternative is that someone from a specific moment in time distorts space enough to basically leak variables through their synchronized flow into what we perceive to be the now. Coldsteel, have you attempted time travel or stolen one of my inventions to go at speeds bordering on Tau zero to rip space and have quantum likenesses emerge from..."

"That sounds way too much like work. I wouldn't even do that shit for Amy."

Scourge says "hell yeah, bros before hoes!" They high five and Amy grumbles "I need to keep an extra hammer with me..."

Eggman nods and fidgets his mustache "mmmhmm mmmhmm...well than it's worse than I thought. Coldsteel or...Scourge. One of you is what I like to call an ordained cannon. Or o.c. if you will."

Scourge says "which means?"

"Which means one of you is real...and the other is not. One of you is the byproduct of the distortion between both space AND time. Not from a parallel world, not from an alternate timeline, you are an anomaly that will eventually correct itself...hopefully."

Amy rants at Eggman "well than it has to be this green booger looking Sonic! I don't remember him, hell you don't Eggman!"

"Not necessarily Amy... Because we're messing with both space and time here, we might have no recollection of one or both of them. This whole thing will have never happened if the unrealing event transpires. We would be none the wiser to it. Imagine if you will we never had this conversation, and in no place or time did it ever take place...that is unrealing. It is the omni death. It's all really spooky and dates back to what Christian scholars believed the second death was."

Coldsteel walks up "heh...I'm down for some spooky villainy! I wanna unreal Sonic!"

"But than you would unreal ME dumb ass because I AM Sonic! I told you, I'm just evil Sonic!"

"Nothing person-el kid!" Scourge kicks Coldsteel in the nuts and he whimpers "my deviantarts!!!"

Amy is struggling to take off her boots jumping around and wiggling her skirt "don't go breaking the China just yet!"

Eggman has this disgusted expression on his face "Amy what are you doing?"

"You said eventually this'll correct itself. So I'm gonna take this opportunity to get gang banged by two countem TWO Sonics!"

"That is a terrible idea!"

"Oh look out guys, we've been given a citation by the fun police..." Sarcastically announces Scourge.

Amy pokes Eggman in the eye "Yeah Robutthead! Stop trying to be a discord mod!"

"Ow! It's not like that! I mean don't get me wrong I do not wanna start my day watching Animal Planet."

"Than leave" says Scourge but Amy shushes him putting her finger on his mouth.

"No...I WANT HIM TO WATCH" Coldsteel just mutters "ew..."

Eggman screams at Amy

"What part of o.c. don't you understand woman?! Have you even thought about the significant damages this could have on the space-time continuem?! No, you haven't. Cause you're a young, hormonal, stupid little hedgehog! You get pregnant, then we have another o.c. to deal with, which could further distort the canon...and..."

Amy blushes "kids?!" Scourge raises an eyebrow "do you want kids?"

"I don't know...do you?" Coldsteel gets between them

"UHHH NOTHING PESON-EL KIDS, BUT I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS WHOLE SITUATION"

They suddenly turn into the embie, Chud, and bunkercuck meme "I consent", " I consent", "I don't..." and Eggman in a small corner "is there somebody you forgot to ask?"

Amy gently explains it to Coldsteel

"Coldsteeeel, it's literally just you. Like... This is literally monogamy as you're both the same person. How many times does a girl get a chance like this to buck break her own man? With himself?"

They then turn into the meme where Coldsteel has a gun to the back of Coldsteel's head (trust no-one...not even yourself)

Eggman looks around "the distortion is worsening..."

Coldsteel sighs "FINE!!! Eggman, just...go over there in the bushes or something."

Amy puts her finger on Coldsteel's lips shushing him and evily smirks "No...I WANT HIM TO WATCH!"

Everyone goes kind of quiet. Scourge breaks the tension

"You literally just said that..." "I did?"

Eggman is pulling at his mustache at this point.

"This can't go on! The disruption is too severe!!!! This is like Sega as a company shuts down levels of breaking canon here!"

"Heh, nothing person-el kid..." "Shut up!" Eggman blasts Coldsteel with a ray gun and Scourge says "wait did I say that, or...did I say that?"

Sonic and Tails come back.

"Ok, me and Tails talked it out and I think we have a way to settle this..."

Eggman sarcastically says "It better not be another movie reference. It's such low hanging fruit..."

All of a sudden Coldsteel and Scourge are on a stage with guitars like Marty from Back To The Future singing to Amy while they both look very ill and sweaty and become incorporal

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k5VxvFOxB-U

Eggman just yells "God...DAMN IT!!!"

Sonic with his arms cross mutters to Tails "huh...doesn't look like it's working."

"I told you we should've watched all three again."

Coldsteel throws down his guitar and says "enough of this! Eggman... Can one of us choose to be unrealed?"

Eggman puts his hand to his chin and contemplates "I mean...I suppose it's worth a try. I don't know how..."

"Cause frankly I find this whole thing stupid!"

Sonic says "well yeah!" Tails punches Sonic in the shoulder.

"I offer myself as tribute..." Amy runs up to Coldsteel crying "Coldsteel no!"

"Its ok Amy. You won't remember any of this right? You'll still be with me...I guess... And that's enough for me. Even if they're not these memories, as long as they're my and your memories than no-one in time or space can take that from us."

Scourge walks up to him and shoves Coldsteel "oh no you don't! I'm not allowing myself to have a redemption arc! I nominate myself as unrealed to get rid of all the mods in the multiverse!"

Everyone just kind of looks confused and Eggman speaks raising his eyebrow "how would that work?"

"I don't know but I ain't dying in no time or place for a girl! If I go it's for something worth while!"

"Amy is worthwhile!" Yells Coldsteel at Scourge who shoves him again

"Yeah yeah, she's cute... But is that how we define ourselves? Through some hoity toity love affair? Or are we more than that?"

"So we define ourselves by just our hatred and resentments?"

Shadow is on top of the curtain rod and crassly says "interesting...justice versus vengeance."

Everyone gasps and says Shadow and Scourge looks around raises his hand up

"Who the fuck is THAT?! Was he from the Archie comics?!"

Shadow lands down kneeling rising up. Scourge mutters

"Oh I see...he's the cool dark brooding guy... Fuck you blackface Sonic."

Shadow walks right pass Coldsteel and Scourge up to Amy.

"You have to be the one to decide Amy."

"W...why me?"

Eggman takes out a calculator and mumbles to himself

"You know, that actually makes sense!"

"Both of these clowns have lived their whole lives trying to make metaphysics applicable through dialectical materialism."

Amy nods "those are definitely words..."

"It's like Sartre said; freedom is what you do with what's been done to you. From what I've gathered...both these guys have been defining themselves by just being bitter jackasses who happen to hate mods."

"And hookah" says Scourge and Coldsteel high fives him and they look perplexed

"I feel like we just did that not too long ago..." "Maybe we should sing what's new pussycat" "let's not and say we did"

Shadow looks at them annoyed and turns back "ANYWAY...now they've had a third thing to define their existence. You. Someone who appreciates them despite their..."

Coldsteel and Scourge are setting up hookah and arguing over cinnamon roll or double apple flavor.

"FLAWS... Your man needs you Amy. Whoever that might be."

Amy looks at both of them tearing up as they smoke and wave at her.

Sonic rolls his eyes and groans

"What's the big deal?! They're the same person!"

Tails scolds Sonic "Its an existential thought experiment Sonic! Shadow is saying that Coldsteel and Scourge are defined by a series of Axioms. An axiom is an irreducible primary. It does not rely on anything to be valid."

Sonic nods "those are definitely words..." Tails smacks his own face.

"If we know these truths to be self evident that we as living persons are defined by our desires, our likes, our dislikes, our memories... What are we without them? We're nothing."

Eggman interjects "hence unrealed..."

"And what is one of those Axioms? Loving Amy."

"But isn't he just me anyway?"

Eggman interjects again "yeah but the blue you is just really stupid..."

"Thanks Robotdick..."

Tails finishes "therefore the most villainous thing they could think of to do, was to place the burden onto Amy. In the ultimate testament of radical freedom, they're leaving her to decide what is the dominant axiom. What is at the top of a man's soul? Before anything else...you get amnesia and don't remember your name, your parents, your favorite food, what axiom so vividly is yours, that it can transcend being erased by circumstances? If Scourge got rid of all the mods would he still be Scourge and I don't know, just be a simp?"

Scourge smokes and points at Coldsteel "like this guy" Coldsteel grabs the hose "quit being a smoke hog nig!" Coldsteel starts smoking...

Tails continues "If they didn't have their passion for smoking what would be their passion? Would they just be like SUPER EVIL and hate everything?"

Scourge mutters "I mean...I kinda do...this cinnamon roll AND double apple mint tastes like ass together."

Amy yells at both of them "you all were supposed to be eating MY ass!" Coldsteel and Scourge say at the same time "not it!"

Tails points to Amy "or are they defined by her?"

Sonic inhales deeply "WOW this is way too fucking deep for Sonic the hedgehog..."

Amy yells again "and yet no-one is going that deep into me! CURIOUS!!!"

Eggman has a portable radar ringing and says "Well Amy if you're going to make a decision you better do it quickly. Something is coming this way that is also distorting space and time."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WE3a68G5afo

Amy panicking looking back and fourth "its like one of those game shows with two doors to choose..." Eggman says "but only one bares your name"

Coldsteel and Scourge start laughing like Beavis and Butthead.

Sonic says "how is that even in relation?!" Shadow tells Sonic "Beavis and Butthead used to play rock and metal song videos when regular MTV wouldn't..."

"How would anyone younger than fossil KNOW THAT?!"

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Gonna talk about personal here regarding having sex. And etc.

I never had any romantic relationship, but had one experience (like sexting?) when I was teen to someone two years older (we've been pals for years and never do it physically). It was a thrill and I don't think I want to do it IRL, because part of me assumed it as traumatic experience, and I always afraid to look for romantic partner / starting a family of my own.

Aside sexual thing, like basically everything could ruin your marriage. I don't want it. But I'm touchstarving fellow who's weakness is keeping good relation to anyone.

I'm super envy when people goes saying how they love their partner. I want to be / have one, but I'm a coward and couldn't praise anything.

I want to take care of people, but to imagine people does it to me? Give me a break.

First off, I’d like to say I was going to answer privately to that, based on the subject, but, since it’s on anon, I am really sorry I have to post the reply like that. This is something I consider personal, therefore easier for both the person sending and myself to be open to such a conversation without fear who’s watching, judging etc. To your message, now, I too have never been into a romantic relationship before due to various reasons, some of which are based on a couple of same fears you’re describing here so, I totally understand what you mean and it’s super valid to feel that way. People keep mentioning only people who feel better not being in a relationship, or being in one and not having sex, when it comes to that subject, but not much for people like you or me, who do want the relationship part but can’t imagine themselves succeeding in keeping it strong, loving, passionate, or sth else, or even all of the above. People who’ve suffered abuse are also mentioned in such conversations, people who’ve been traumatized to try and then wish for their partners to have patience with them, as not everyone who’s been through sth like that can just “get over it“ or heal by themselves before trying a relationship with someone who shows them they deserve to be loved, or to not be afraid of abuse cause not everyone is abusive, or anything else their trauma has created in their mind and body to feel that fear. The thing is, whether it’s talked about or not, there are various reasons for people not to "feel ”able to get into a relationships or sexual contact with someone, and I use the word “feel“ loosely, because I personally think everyone is able to get into a relationship if they really want it, but fear or trauma or sth else holds them back. I am not talking about those who really don’t want it, here. Relationships are not something everyone wants and that’s okay, so anyone not into relationships here please don’t bite, that’s not what I meant.

I generalize a lot, though. To be more specific: In my opinion (which could be super wrong so please don’t take this as a fact or judgement) if part of you thinks that was a traumatizing experience for you, it is. I have experienced this myself and known people who’ve been through this before. I mean having been through something many people have and find normal, yet when you went through it, it felt scarring or even traumatic. When you go through such a feeling for something considered “normal“ you often end up thinking that maybe you are exaggerating, or that you are being oversensitive, but let me tell you what, not all people have the same limits and sensitivities. If some people are fine doing sth like that, good for them, but it’s not the same for everyone so, if you feel that hurt you, it probably did, so I think you should start from there when you think “when did i start feeling scared of getting into a relationship.“. Like you said though, there is more to that than that experience and like I said, several of these things I have felt too for my own reasons. I suck at keeping friends for a long time so i also understand your feeling unable to keep good relationships with anyone. I’ve only now started to get some balance, the last two-three years and honestly I don’t trust myself that I will manage to keep doing that. I think about it at least once a week. When I am down, it gets worse, I often find myself thinking who I should speak to and how that would affect my relationship with them because I am tired of losing friends. As for partners I have never tried but I’ve also come across people who never managed to keep friends, but have found excellent partners, so I no longer think that your ability to keep your friendships going has anything to do with your ability to keep a romantic partner or have a family. Just bringing that last one up as an example and personal observation.

I feel touchstarved a lot too, sometimes, but due to the fact I’ve also grown to dislike being touched without permission, it doesn’t bother me as much as not having someone to hold, myself. It’s like you want to give a hug but not receive it? xD Sth like that. I want to give a lot, but not necessarily receive as I too can’t imagine someone taking care of me, both due to seeing the kind of love most people enjoy (which is unfortunately not my type, but luckily that equals to me not being jealous of anyone unless I see the kind of love I am looking for, which is rare) and also because I don’t feel I deserve it. So envy is super rare for me but I do get that with all of the social media image, most people like me or like you would feel that way. If it helps in any way, try to think that those posting their love life a lot might not be showing you the bad or even real moments of their relationship. I am not saying that everyone who posts about their love all the time are fake, some people can’t stop talking about their partner when in love (been there, just with my feelings not returned), but a big percentage of them are so tell yourself that when you are feeling jealous and specify the kind of love you want and if you’d really like to have that kind of love or just love in general. It won’t solve anything but it might make you feel better.

Anyway, I am sorry I shared some advice too, I am sure you only wished to share your feelings and you already know the things I said, I didn’t say anything revolutionary anyway but please don’t give up. If it makes you feel better, start with friendships. Find people you got as many things as possible in common and try to get involved. As for partners, I don’t know what to say because I gave up on the idea long ago, but I really believe you can find someone, if that is something you want. Will it heal your fear your marriage could go to waste every single moment? No. I have the same fear, I don’t think it ever goes away. But you can always discuss it with your partner when it shows up. Now, if you are a person who dates men, it might get harder to discuss this frequently as I have noticed men find it a bit annoying when you constantly want to discuss your relationship, but if you’re into girls, I think it’s easier. Even if you don’t put yourself in a box and don’t mind such a thing, I consider women and nonbinary people more likely to discuss this often, than men, I don’t know. I guess I have lost faith in men way too much. ^^’> Again, if you wish to give up on the idea, do it, but envy is there for a reason, so I’d suggest you kept trying to find sb you like and if you do, try to be friends with them at first. You might get friendzoned yes, but in my opinion, the percentage of the possibility to be friendzoned is almost the same as that you’d get rejected at the first or one of the first dates with someone. Get to know the person you like, give yourself space to feel comfortable with them and if it is to happen it will happen. If it happens then instead of focusing on the ways everything can ruin it, focus on the ways you can save it. :) Think to yourself “what does my partner like“ and then which of those things are fine for you to do or try to show them your love. If they still leave despite your being giving, understanding etc, then they just weren’t for you. It’s not always your fault. People can be cruel. And those of them who are broken might give up on something they needed because they didn’t think they deserve it, which is why I said focus on the ways you could save it. You don’t have to force yourself though. That’s a big no. You can choose to heal inside a relationship or before getting into one. You could address to a psychologist to learn to control your fear, as well, I personally refuse to do that, but not everyone is me, so you can do as you please.

Either way, I really hope this eventually works out for you and you can always get into a relationship without expecting anything, that way you can get less hurt if it turns sours, but it can be so rewarding when you eventually realize someone is actually giving back. ^^ Give it a chance only when you are sure you can trust a person at least at 10%. Your fears won’t allow you trust them completely and your self-sabotage might get in the way so try that, if you really want to be with someone one day. Get to know them, try to see if you’d trust them and then try to make a move oooor discuss it with them, what kind of person you are looking for I mean. They might like you back if they realize what you are looking for is “similar“ to them. :3 Best of luck to you, dear. As hard as life may be and as hard as it might have hit you, don’t let it win. It’s your life, goddammit, if you want sth go after it even if you’re afraid. Courage has nth to do with being free of fear, it is being able to tell your fears you’re doing this even if you’re shaking. If it is what you want (getting in a romantic and loving relationship), then no one, not your fears, nor social media, nor society, not even God, themselves, if they exist, can tell you you cannot have it.

[dxmedstudent]

Totally medically unrelated question, but if you had a crush on your childhood best friend of the same gender, and they know you're a homosexual, but you don't know much about their orientation, would you take the risk and tell them about your feelings? Why or why not?

That’s OK. This is sticking out from all the slightly more challenging ‘how do you survive medical school’ questions that are piling up (Which I WILL answer, when I can write a decent reply!). It’s a tricky one, and something many people have faced in some form or another. Do we tell someone how we feel, or do we hold back? And I guess the risks and benefits are different in each situation. Although you’re phrasing it as a question to me (what would I do if I happened to have a crush on my childhood bestie of the same gender, and why/why not would I confess), I’m going to assume this isn’t about me, but about another real person. As it is, much as though I love my closest friends and would do almost anything for them, I don’t think I could date them. Not just because I don’t happen to be attracted to them, but because I’ve never seen us as compatible like that.  So whilst I could answer the question ‘would you confess to a girl you liked who was your friend’, there would be a whole layer missing in terms of history. Confessing to a new friend is different to confessing to someone you’ve known your whole life.I’ll put the rest behind a cut, only to save anyone following for medical stuff the wall of text that is my advice. Now, I know that people will almost always just go ahead and do what they want to do, so I actually consider this ask to be a moot point. When it comes to love, we often ask advice because we want someone to confirm that what we want to do is the right thing. And if they disagree, we tend to do it anyway. At least, that’s what years of us all supporting each other IRL has taught me. So you’re not obligated to take my advice, or even read it.

Let’s start with the person you like. You don’t know everything about your crush’s sexuality; perhaps they are a little more private about what they like, and that’s OK. It’s good not to bring in too many assumptions about what they like, so I think it’s sensible not to assume. It makes me suspect that they are a private person, who keeps certain topics close to their chest. I assume that you’ve already probablyYou probably feel nervous, because it’s hard for you to tell if they could be interested, or not. I get that being part of a minority in terms of sexuality adds an extra layer of difficulty, because perhaps the likelihood is a bit less. However, even if we are of a gender someone is attracted to, there’s always the chance that they don’t feel the same way. None of us get to escape that risk of being turned down. So I don’t think their gender should necessarily be a reason for you to choose to hold back (or to tell them). Now, where it matters is whether you feel they may be homophobic. I’m hoping (for your sake) that if they’ve been your best friend since forever, and you like them a lot, that you’ve gained enough of a picture to hope that they aren’t. Your safety comes first, and I’m never going to tell you that you have to confess to someone if you’re worried about getting a response like that.Telling someone how you feel is a transformative act. It takes you down a path that you can’t choose, and makes sure that you’ll never be standing quite where you’re standing now. And it depends on how OK you are with that. Many of us have a burning need to get things off our chest, and find out what might have been. Some of us are cautious. There’s no one right answer, though what is best for us might depend on what is going on. Films teach us that we ALWAYS have to tell EVERYONE what we feel, or we might miss a beautiful relationship. But in reality we all choose whether to do something about how we feel about someone. Because life isn’t a romance film loaded to set us up with someone. And we’ve all got different criteria by which we decide whether to take the risk or not. What might be worth it for me, might not be worth it for you. The main risk of telling them is that it changes things. Sometimes we get what we want (they like us too! OMG), and sometimes we don’t get what we want. And it all depends on how we (and they) respond if it doesn’t work out. I’ve know people to stay friends afterwards. Sure, the person with the unrequited crush needs space to move on. But it doesn’t always have to mean the end of the friendship. However, it depends on the person whose feelings are unrequited. Are they able to move on? Do they have issues with entitlement. Can they honestly accept that it isn’t happening, and that instead they have a rich, valuable friendship and nothing more? Because I’ve definitely known some people who just cannot accept if someone isn’t interested, and whose friendships deteriorated because it was just too painful and difficult for them after being turned down. They demand reasons. They demand people reconsider. They tell the person that nobody can be as good for them. And it goes on. However, this kind of person isn’t likely to be happy with quietly remaining friends, either. Because it’s not what they really want, so they can end up passive aggressively taking it out, or sabotaging the person’s relationships. And that’s not fair, either. So, in some cases keeping it to yourself doesn’t really save your friendship, either. I’ve seen that, too. The main risk of not telling them is that you never get closure. You end up still close, but unable to explore an avenue that means a lot to you. Pining after someone who is actively in your life is painful and bittersweet, and makes it really hard for you to move on or consider seeing other people. Because you’re stuck with someone you care about right in front of you, who you can’t stop thinking about. It also depends on what else is going on with the best friend. I’m assuming you’re both roughly the same age, and both free to act without coersion, without one being unduly dependent on the other. If you were confessing an attraction to your friend’s mum or relatives in general, friend’s partner, your cousin, or your patient or client, your boss, or your student or teacher etc, my advice would be different (hell no, don’t go there, and give yourself some distance). I could give you a lot of increasingly random examples, but you get the picture. Even when we’re talking about people who are of age, it’s still important that there shouldn’t be a significant power differential, one party shouldn’t have to feel dependent on the other, nor should the other party be in a position of trust. Because how can someone fully consent if they feel like they have no other choice?  I’d extend that to times when it’s not appropriate to make a move. Their grandmother’s funeral? Just after they broke up? When they just got fired? Yup, they might need your support, but I feel that it’s wrong to burden someone who is struggling already, with your confession at a time that they can’t think straight and would find it difficult to tell you how they feel because you are their only source of support. I also don’t personally advise ‘confessing’ your feelings to someone who is in a monogamous relationship with someone else, whether you feel it is a happy one or not. Your ability to gauge their relationship is going to be biased, but also it should stand or fail on its own merits. I don’t believe in splitting other people up; if someone wants to leave a relationship, that should be 100% their decision, and I’ll see them when/if they are single.  But I would find it difficult to trust anyone who broke up a longterm relationship because they liked the look of me, and I wouldn’t personally like to be responsible for that kind of drama. Either you get turned down (likely) or you end up with someone leaving their partner for a mere possibility, full of baggage, and planting seeds in your minds that they just aren’t ready for commitment. And out of politeness, I’d try to steer clear of friends/colleagues’ exes. Unless it was explicitly known to be OK. Mainly because life is too short for the drama that inevitably ensues, and it will probably risk your friendship if it comes out. There’s a long list of times when you might reasonably think ‘I should probably not act on this’. Listen to your gut, if you have a reason to think it’s a bad idea, then tread carefully. I definitely don’t believe that every time we have feelings for someone has to be acted on, but rather that they are chances that we can decide to act upon, all things being equal. Overall, although it can change or even end friendships, telling someone gives you a chance; to try a relationship, to try to remain friends, or to take space and move on. It’s not a wrong answer, so long as you don’t try to force your feelings on the other person. But if you have strong reasons to believe that they don’t feel the same way (they are in a relationship, etc) or it’s inappropriate to pursue them at this point in time, then you may well choose to distance yourself and move on. Or wait. I advise against waiting, in the longterm, because people tend to want closure. But we’re all different, and sometimes we decide not to take chances, or to take them.