#I feel like his entire character makes sense when you remember that he's a norse legacy

[whatskraken]

God of War is still my favorite contemporary video game in terms of play style and story delivery, but did anyone else feel like Ragnarok was just Fimbulwinter DLC?

The actual in-game Ragnarok was literally just an on-rails Ghost of Tsuchima chapter-ending strategic fortress siege?? I think they probably initially did this to reconcile the fact that you can’t have an apocalypse that doesn’t actually affect the entire world, but “magic and myth are bound to their homelands” denied me of feeling any sort of stakes in the war? Kratos isn’t from here, the Fall of Olympus meant nothing to the Norse cannon, so why does this insular war affect me? Why did we make such a big deal connecting all the Gods of War through Tyr if the Celts and Egyptians and Japanese versions aren’t going to council at least in an inter-dimensional cut scene.

“THE PROPHECY!” you say? Nope. Sorry. We deus-ex-machina’d that plot-driver by letting giants literally retcon anything we feel like. Maybe if the giant’s prophecy was something clever like “you THOUGHT the Norse meant this, but if you look at it from a different camera angle using our Giant Magic you’ll notice this shattering detail!” Instead we got “here’s a ‘secret’ true ending that we just totally made up in contrast to the one you thought you saw. Except for the most important one— in that case we just say the giants can’t POSSIBLY bother to add secret retcons to EVERY shrine, silly!!!”

I also feel like we got ripped off from experiencing the in-world justifications for the stuff in IRL Norse mythology I was looking forward to the storytellers clarifying. Cool we figure out how Jormangandur is “born” of Loki, but the ouroboros notion of Ragnarok isn’t ever explained. They even joke during an end-game boat ride story: “How did that big snake recognize you?! Must be time travel or something?!?!?!?” Remember that boar from last game? Remember that squirrel runic companion? We forgot we kinda wanted to flesh them out so as long as we joke about the meta it’s cool to add them back.

Odin at first is so fascinating because his clever conniving villainy is just…….systemic capitalism. THATS a smart way to address his traditional anti-hero/noble-villain status in mythology. But if I slice Elon Musk in half with a hammer, an entire realm whose singular economy is based off exploitative industrial slave labor isn’t really free from the tyranny of their own societal structure. I guess in a sense, Kratos killing Zeus/Odin and destroying the realms of gods in both Olympus/Asgard helps explain our current non-magical, non-god-driven secular reality. But that’s not the theme or goal of these games, narratively. Ragnarok always felt inevitable, but never necessary.

Odin asks so many interesting ethical questions about the meaning of godhood SEPARATE from its impact on the life of a generic mortal. His answers to moral quandaries never felt manipulative or dark-sided: in fact I think he and Kratos always gave Atreus two sides of the same advice. However it felt like every time we jumped back to Kratos & Freya insisting on Odin’s villainy, the writers never gave them enough justification to counteract his sound logic. We start to touch on the question of “what toll does Machiavellian decision-making take on the psyche of a god, and how does the psyche handle when traditional morality is off the table?” Kratos is directly allowed to do MAJOR morally dubious things through a constant lens of protagonist favor. “Open your heart to their suffering” because Kratos Is Main Character so all destruction is sacrifice worth the cost. ODIN IS BADGUY BECAUSE WE NEED TO HAVE FINAL BOSS BATTLE!!!!!

Remember in the post-game of the original how Fimbulwinter reskinned the entire hub world in response to Ragnarok approaching? Well even though we make a BIG deal about how all realms have their own unique seasonal weather affectations, the END of Ragnarok doesn’t actually cosmetically affect any of the realms in the reverse direction after the final battle. There’s nothing new or interesting to see in any realm (even though this would have been the coolest way to motivate players to go back and explore) but hey you can FOLLOW THE PATH BACKWARDS AND OPEN ONE OR TWO MORE TREASURE CHESTS! Some of that ouroboros sci-fi logic would have been perfect here: pieces of Asgard blocking major pathways from the start of the game that were actually a result of the final battle. That mirror-logic already exists in other cool ways: Memir comments on how the stories of Jotenheim say the landscape is SO BEAUTIFUL, but that “legendary beauty” is really a fungal overgrowth of decaying bodies of (literal) giants. The Mother Forge is an underwater mermaid because “the essence of a thing isn’t the same as the reality of a thing.” That’s not a logic applied to the entirety of the world-building, only when it’s convenient.

When the game breaks off to solo Atreus play, I was pumped to experience how every single character was going to get unique play style. Instead they just all end up as reskins of Original Boy. This isn’t an insane issue, but it only ever felt like I was adventuring with Brok/Sindri/Freya because we wanted to have some sidebar dialogue, not because the gameplay necessitated new skills or unique puzzles.

When I played the original, there were moments that floored me artistically and changed the way I think about video games as a medium. I know some of my lofty expectations come from comparing this dev cycle to unhealthy industry practices of others. Yes GOW Ragnarok is a really really really clean and solid experience. But if we’re complaining that to Assassins Creed and franchises that push out “unfinished product only considered a finished AAA game once 3 DLC packs are released 3 years later,” then TBH Ragnarok is admittedly pretty anemic overall in comparison. Maybe I’m the issue with the industry, but there wasn’t really enough of a significant shift in scope, gameplay, or narrative/cinematics for me to think of this installment as anything but “a continuation of existing digital assets rearranged to wrap up a masterpiece that we didn’t feel like bloating into a trilogy.”

I think we’re going to get some extra gameplay out of Atreus. I do believe this is Santa Monica’s end with Kratos: I think Sony let them put him to bed. We’ll either get a third game in the “Valhalla series” that’s focused on Loki/Tyr (and will HOPEFULLY follow up on the non-Norse Gods of War & expanded locations hinted at in the 2018 game) for a true epic reboot a la 2018, OR they’ll poop out one more existing realm’s worth of DLC and give us 5 minutes of Faye as a Kratos re-skin DLC to wrap up this cycle.

[jew-flexive]

frederick chase, legacy

thinking about frederick chase, who grew up in a family that knew about all the things everyone else couldn’t see, not because those things touched them, but because they used to. thinking about frederick chase, who’s a little too strong, sometimes, who’s a little too quick, sometimes, who has a strange aura of power that he didn’t earn but his great-great-great-grandfather did. thinking about frederick chase, who wants to be normal, who is almost normal, who is almost able to ignore the things that have too many eyes and razor sharp teeth and kill children in alleyways--but not him, never him, he doesn’t show up on their radar, not anymore. thinking about frederick chase, who is dizzingly, maddeningly grateful for his own cosmic insignificance because he knows what happens to heroes. 

thinking about frederick chase, nerdy and goofy and gangly and too smart for his own good, but more or less a normal guy once he moves out of his parents’ house. thinking about frederick chase, who graduates summa cum laude studying heroics of the human kind and gets his pick of grad schools and flirts with another TA at three am while they both pretend to grade papers and ignore their research. thinking about frederick chase, who falls in love with gray eyes and sly grins and stubborn pride and shows that by arguing and teasing and fiddling with his glasses and showing off, just a little, just to make her laugh.

thinking about frederick chase, who takes her home to meet his family, only for his sister to gasp and his father to drop his wine glass and his mother to bite her lip and his brother to watch with wide, jealous eyes. thinking about frederick chase, whose blood is almost all red, whose life is almost all safe, whose legacy is almost all forgotten, it’s been so long, who’d almost escaped completely, whose feelings of betrayal are sharp, vicious things. thinking about frederick chase, confronting a goddess, terror and anger making his voice shake, and what that must have looked like, a mortal lecturing the divine, how that must have made athena wonder and plot and plan. 

thinking about frederick chase, who wakes up exactly one year before he has to present his dissertation to a baby on his doorstep with his hair and her eyes who he knows just by looking at her is doomed, doomed, doomed. thinking about frederick chase, who lives off of coffee and ramen and hasn’t showered in a week and still isn’t even twenty-eight, who never wanted any of this, who was never asked if he did, who feels violated and alone and afraid. thinking about frederick chase, who tries to give the baby back because he knows what happens to kids in alleyways when the monsters (or the gods) are hungry and knows he’s not enough to protect her, who’s told he has no choice but to try. 

thinking about frederick chase, who keeps his daughter because none of this is her fault and gods forbid athena take any responsibility for the life she created without his consent, who names her annabeth for favor and oathkeeping and grace, who raises her the best he can even though he’s convinced he’ll outlive her, his clever little miracle child who represents every single one of his parents’ warnings and all the ambitions his brother’s ever sought. thinking about frederick chase, who reads to her and braids her hair and puts her in a playpen with a box of legos while he teaches his classes and comes back to find her building temples and shrines and skyscrapers with her chubby toddler hands. thinking about frederick chase, who knows his daughter is smarter and more powerful than him, who knows exactly what all that wit and strength is meant to protect her from and how little either will matter, in the end. 

thinking about frederick chase, who has every member of his family stolen from him before annabeth steals herself away. thinking about frederick chase, who never once blames her for it, who wants her safe, even if it that means being far, far away from him. thinking about frederick chase, who messes up and says the wrong thing and forgets, sometimes, that for all her cleverness, his daughter isn’t a mind reader and needs to be told that she is precious, that she is cherished, that she is everything he’s ever been afraid to lose. thinking about frederick chase, who doesn’t know how to raise a demigod, only how to mourn one, so he fails, and fails, and fails, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how deeply he loves.  

thinking about frederick chase, who, when given the chance, shows his adoration by brainstorming new building ideas and telling old college stories and making midnight breakfasts and shooting at titans with celestial bronze bullets. thinking about frederick chase, who grows and shifts and tries to see his daughter in real time, not only in those last moments he knows are coming, when she’s that kid in the alleyway and he’s not enough, never enough to stop the monsters from coming for her. thinking about frederick chase, who never once makes his peace with it, but works for the rest of his life to earn his own peace with her.

[sineala]

Tony Stark and Arthuriana

Coming to you by special request, a very long post about 616 Tony's interest in Arthuriana, with a focus on all of Tony's run-ins with Morgan le Fay!

I feel like I should disclaim the extent of my knowledge here, which is that I still haven't managed to read anywhere near every issue of Iron Man -- at least, not yet, anyway -- so I'm just going by the things I know I've read, and Morgan le Fay's Marvel wiki entry is frustratingly under-cited, so it's very possible I've missed something relevant, but I'm pretty sure I've got the big stuff down. My other disclaimer here is that I'm not as big an Arthurian nerd as Tony is, which is to say that most of my familiarity comes from modern retellings -- T. H. White's The Once and Future King, Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon, Mary Stewart's The Crystal Cave, Rosemary Sutcliff's Sword at Sunset -- and not so much the usual classic sources on the Matter of Britain, though I've read bits and pieces of them.

(This is because I wanted to read versions of them that were as close to the original as possible but so far have not ended up finishing any of them because, well, that's hard. So I've never read the Mabinogion because I do not know Welsh. I've got the Norton Critical Edition of Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, which is probably the best student edition if you're looking for something without modernized spellings, as I was. I've also got -- well, okay, it's my wife's but I'm borrowing it -- a relatively recent Boydell & Brewer edition (ed. Reeve, tr. Wright) of Geoffrey of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britanniae (History of the Kings of Britain), which is, you guessed it, in Latin with a facing English translation. I haven't gotten very far in it because, in case you didn't know this about Latin texts, the beginning is pretty much always the hardest, so I gave up and read some Plautus adaptations instead. Anyway, if for some reason you too want to read Geoffrey of Monmouth in the original Latin I'd recommend that one, but I can't recommend any particular English translations because I've never read one by itself. I bet you didn't think you'd be getting Latin prose recommendations in this post. I mean, maybe you did; it is me, after all.)

Okay. Right. King Arthur. Here we go.

We've got:

Flashbacks to Tony's childhood in late Iron Man volume 1

A brief discussion of Morgan's origin story and Avengers #187

Iron Man vol 1 #149-150: Doomquest

What If vol 1 #33: What if Iron Man was trapped in the time of King Arthur?

Iron Man vol 1 #249-250: Recurring Knightmare

Iron Man: Legacy of Doom #1-4

Avengers vol 3 #1-4: The Morgan Conquest

Civil War: The Confession

Mighty Avengers vol 1 #9-11: Time Is On No One's Side

In terms of universe-internal chronology, we know from Iron Man #287, from 1992, that Tony has been a fan of King Arthur since childhood. This is an issue of a fandom-favorite arc which features Tony having a lot of childhood flashbacks, including the famous "Stark men are made of iron" line (in #286) that for some reason MCU fandom decided it loved; I mean, seriously, I've seen that quoted in way more MCU fic than 616 fic. But slightly later, in #287, we get an entire page devoted to Tony's love of King Arthur.

The narration reads: "Over the next few years, I learned as my father intended. Discipline of body. Strength of character. But in what free time I was allowed, I worked my way through the school's library. At thirteen, I discovered Mallory [sic], who showed me a whole new world. A world of dedication to a cause greater than oneself. Of chivalry and honor. And the fantastic deeds -- of armored heroes."

The art shows Tony as a child sitting under a tree, reading a book labeled Mort D'Arthur by Mallory [sic] -- no, don't ask me why nobody at Marvel checked how to spell either the name of the book or its author -- and daydreaming of King Arthur, the Sword in the Stone, knights, et cetera. Just in case you somehow missed the extremely blatant hint that we are meant to understand that Tony's knight obsession heavily influenced him becoming Iron Man as an adult, we see one of his armors mixed in with all the drawings of knights. So, yes, canonically Tony is Iron Man at least partly because he's a giant King Arthur nerd, which I think is so very sweet. I love him. He's such a dork!

(This issue is currently in print in the Iron Man Epic Collection War Machine, should you need your own copy.)

This isn't actually the only reference to Tony as a King Arthur fanboy in this era of canon, either; a little later, in IM #298, we see that one of Tony's passwords is actually "Mallory." (Yeah, no, they still couldn't spell. But it's cute.)

But in terms of actual publication order, this is definitely not the first time we have seen in canon that Tony is into Arthuriana, as I'm sure you all know. I would assume, in fact, that giving Tony a childhood interest in Arthuriana is because Doomquest is one of the most beloved Iron Man story arcs of all time, and that all started at least a decade before IM #287 here was published.

The villain of Doomquest -- the one who isn't Doctor Doom, at least -- is Morgan le Fay. Yes, that Morgan le Fay. Yes, Arthur's evil half-sister Morgan le Fay. Yes, all of this King Arthur stuff is canonically real history on Earth-616. Morgan's first appearance in Marvel, per the wiki, was in Black Knight #1 (1955), which I have not read, and judging by the summary I feel like this is probably just supposed to be a straight-up comic retelling of Arthurian legends for kids; I don't think Marvel really had the whole Marvel Universe in mind as a concept in 1955, so I'm not sure this was meant to connect to anything else. I feel like this is another one of those instances of Marvel discovering that they can write comics about characters in the public domain for free -- like, I'm pretty sure that's how we also ended up with, like, Norse, Greek, and Roman mythology wedged into 616.

As far as I can tell from the wiki, the first time Morgan tangled with the Avengers (or indeed the larger 616 universe) in any way actually predated Doomquest -- it was in an early arc in Spider-Woman (#2-6) and then Avengers #187, which came out in 1979, actually right when Demon in a Bottle was happening over in Iron Man comics. If you read #187, Iron Man is not in it because he's off the team due to his drinking problem and also his accidentally murdering the Carnelian ambassador problem. So Wonder Man's filling in instead. This issue is part of Michelinie's rather sporadic Avengers run, which makes sense, I guess, considering where we see Morgan next.

Anyway, Avengers #187 is the classic issue where Wanda is possessed by Chthon, but what you may not remember from Chthon's backstory (I sure didn't!) is that he was summoned by Morgan le Fay because she was the first person who tried to wield the Darkhold to summon him. As you can imagine, this did not work out especially well for her and her followers and they had to seal Chthon away in Wundagore Mountain, which was where Wanda found him. (The Spider-Woman stuff is only slightly earlier and also appears to be about Morgan and the Darkhold; the Darkhold is not one of the areas of 616 canon I am especially conversant with, alas. It's on my to-read list.)

Doomquest, as you probably know, was a classic Iron Man two-parter in Layton & Michelinie's first Iron Man run that set up Tony and Doom as rivals; Doomquest itself was IM #149-150, in 1981, and then in their second IM run they came back and did a sequel in 1989, Recurring Knightmare (IM #249-250), and then the much later four-part sequel to that was the 2008 miniseries Iron Man: Legacy of Doom, which was also by Layton & Michelinie but generally does not seem to be as popular as the first two parts. They've all been reprinted, if you're looking for copies; I have a Doomquest hardcover that collects the first four issues and then a separate Legacy of Doom hardcover. Currently in the Iron Man Epic Collection line there's a volume called Doom, which confusingly only collects the 249-250 part of the storyline (as well as surrounding issues), because for some reason the first Layton & Michelinie run isn't in Epics yet but the second one is. So the beginning of Doomquest isn't currently in print, as far as I can tell. I'm sure you can find it anyway.

So what's Doomquest about? Okay, so you remember how Doctor Doom's mother's soul is stuck in hell for all eternity? Well, Doom's obviously interested in getting her back, and the strategy he has embarked on is to try to team up with other powerful magicians who can help him out, and he thinks Morgan le Fay would be a good choice, for, uh, his quest. Doom's quest. A Doomquest, if you will. (If you've ever read Doctor Strange & Doctor Doom: Triumph & Torment, you're familiar with the part where he later ends up waylaying Strange for this and they go to hell together. And if you haven't read Triumph & Torment, you really should, because it's amazing.)

So Doom is off to his time machine to go team up with Morgan le Fay and Tony thinks Doom is up to something -- Doom has been stealing components for his time machine from a lot of people, including Tony -- and he follows him and it turns out one of Doom's lackeys has a grudge and wants to trap Doom in the past forever, and Tony gets caught up in it. Now they're both in Camelot. Surprise! #149 is actually all setup; they don't get to Camelot until #150.

IM #150 begins with Doom and Tony thrown back into the past; there's a fandom-famous splash page of them locked in combat, only to realize that they have found themselves in Camelot.

They are then discovered by knights; Doom would very much like to attack them, but Tony, who naturally would be happy to LARP Camelot forever, persuades him to play nice. Also Doom thinks Iron Man is only Tony's bodyguard so he keeps referring to him as "lackey," much to Tony's annoyance. Somehow everyone thinks they're sorcerers. Can't imagine why. The knights take them to meet King Arthur himself, and Tony has clearly had his introduction all ready to go, as he introduces himself in a timeline-appropriate manner, says he's here to apprehend Doom, and demonstrates his "magic" by levitating Arthur's throne. Doom's response is essentially "I'm the king of Latveria," which is, y'know, also valid. So they're guests at Camelot for the night while Arthur figures out what to do with them.

We then have a page devoted to Tony alone in his room, musing sadly about how alien he feels, how he doesn't know if he'll ever get home, how he could never fit in here without his beloved technology. Then a Sexy Lady shows up to keep him company for the night, and he decides maybe it's not all bad. Thanks, Marvel. I guess they can't all be winners.

Doom is using his evening much more productively; he compels one of the servants to tell him where Morgan's castle is, because he's still interested in having that team-up. Then he jets off. Literally. He has a jetpack.

The next morning Arthur's like "one of you is still here and one of you has punched a hole through the castle wall and flown off to join Morgan so I guess I know which of you is more trustworthy." He then explains to Tony who Morgan is, because Tony professes ignorance, because clearly we had not yet retconned in Tony's love of Arthuriana. Tony offers to go fight Doom and Morgan with Arthur; meanwhile, Morgan and Doom have teamed up and Morgan has offered to help get Doom's mother out of hell if he commands her undead armies against Arthur because for Reasons she can't command them herself anymore. So that's a thing that happens.

So, yes, it's Tony and Arthur versus Doom and Morgan. Fight fight fight!

Tony tries Doom first but then decides to hunt Morgan down, and in the ensuing fight we get what I think is Tony's first ever "I hate magic," a complaint that we all know he still makes even to this day.

Anyway, Tony freezes a dragon with Freon (mmm, technology) and Morgan gets upset and disappears, so the battle comes to an end, and of course Doom is extremely mad at Tony because he blames Tony for Morgan not sticking around to save Doom's mom, because I guess Doom trusted her to keep her word? Weird. (Like I said, for the next chapter of Doom saving his mother, go read Triumph & Torment.)

Doom says if he and Tony work together, the components in both of their armors can send them both home. So Tony has to trust Doom. Which he does, because he really has no other choice. They build a time machine and Tony makes Doom agree to a 24-hour truce when they get back, so they can both get home. So it all works out okay, and they end up in the present, and Doom tells him, ominously, that they will meet again. Okay, then. That concludes the original Doomquest. It's fun! You can see why fandom likes it.

So that's all well and good, but you might have noticed that Tony's ability to get home hinged on Doom actually being trustworthy. And Doom was. But what if Doom hadn't been? What if he'd just stranded Tony in Camelot forever As you may have surmised from the form of that question, that is in fact a question Marvel asked themselves, because, yes, there's a What If about this! What If v1 #33 is "What if Iron Man was trapped in the time of King Arthur?"

The divergence point from canon, as you can probably guess, is the very end of Doomquest. Instead of Doom bringing Tony home, he deceives him and leaves him in Camelot. And since Tony cannibalized a lot of the tech from his armor to make the time machine, he doesn't have a way to go home.

This is not a story where Tony comes up with a way to go home after all. He really doesn't get to go home. But instead of drowning his sorrows in mead -- because, remember, Demon in a Bottle has already happened and Tony is sober now -- he decides he might as well just play the hand he's dealt. So with what's left of his armor, he defeats some enemies that Morgan rounds up to send against Camelot. And for his services, he's knighted. He is now Sir Anthony.

Tony acknowledges that he is both living the dream and would also like very, very much to go home.

He does end up having some fun in Camelot; it's not all miserable. But he obviously doesn't want to be there.

So if you're at all familiar with King Arthur, you know how this goes, right? Arthur fights Mordred and Mordred kills him. And that does happen in this version. Except Tony is right there, and with his dying words, Arthur asks Tony to rule Camelot... and Tony agrees.

So, yes, Tony Stark becomes king of the Britons after Arthur's death and he never goes home again. The end. Man, I love What Ifs.

Heading back to main 616 continuity, there is still more of this arc to go. The original Doomquest was only two issues, yes, but it was popular enough that Layton & Michelinie did a sequel a hundred issues later, in their second run of Iron Man, and that's Iron Man #249-250, Recurring Knightmare. (In the intervening issues were Denny O'Neil's IM run, specifically the second drinking arc (#160-200), and then Layton & Michelinie came back and most famously gave us Armor Wars (#225-232). I would have to say that Armor Wars is definitely the standout fandom-favorite arc of their second IM run; for their first one, I think a lot of people would have a hard time choosing between Doomquest and Demon.) But anyway, yes. Recurring Knightmare.

Recurring Knightmare is... well, the best way I can describe it is "a trip." It is definitely a sequel to Doomquest, and it is also definitely not a sequel you  would ever have expected to see for Doomquest.

Much like #149, #249 is pretty much just setup. Fun setup, but the big action is in the next issue. We open with Doom in Latveria, on his throne, pondering which of his servants he should have disintegrated. Anyway, he's just hanging out there when a mysterious object appears. In California, Tony is suited up and entertaining the crowd at a mall opening when the same object also appears! He takes it to his lab. Please note that this is after the Kathy Dare incident, so Tony is still recovering and is walking with a cane. Doom sees on the news that Iron Man has found the same object, which cannot be carbon-dated, and he shows up at Tony's house. He criticizes Tony's taste in art.

Anyway, Doom basically orders Tony to work with him. Tony refuses, and then Doom sends some robots to attempt to steal Tony's version of the object because he thinks if he has them both he will be powerful. Doom manages to steal it, and when he puts the pieces together, both he and Tony disappear.

So where do they go, you might ask? Camelot?

Not exactly. The future! There is a great callback to the Doomquest splash page.

It turns out they are in London in 2093. Merlin brought them there. Tony still hates magic. And in the future, King Arthur is still there, except he is now a child, because he has been reborn. But he does remember Tony from Doomquest, at which point Tony kneels. Doom, of course, is not impressed. He asks why they have been brought to the future.

The answer is that things are going wrong in the future. If you do not personally remember United States politics in the 1980s, I need you to google the words "Strategic Defense Initiative" right now. I'll wait.

Back with me? Okay, so this is a future where Reagan's Star Wars program actually happened the way he wanted it to, and the satellites are still hanging around the Earth in the future and messing everything up, and Arthur and Merlin need Tony and Doom's help to stop them. Doom once again flies away with his jetpack, of course.

Tony is game to help, but he's not in an armor that can stay in space for long. This is when Merlin takes him and Arthur to the mall and Tony manages to get everything to upgrade his armor at Radio Shack. You see what I meant about this issue being weird.

Tony is out in space trying to disarm the SDI platform, which is where he runs into his future descendant, Andros Stark, who is in armor you will probably recognize from Iron Man 2020. He is referred to as "the resurrected spawn of Iron Man 2020" so I assume he's actually directly related to Arno rather than a direct descendant of Tony; Wiki confirms that Arno is his grandfather. This is all from way before Arno was contemporaneous with Tony in canon. Anyway, he's fighting Tony.

Oh, by the way, Future Doom exists. Future Doom would like to rule this future Earth and for some reason Andros would like to help him. Meanwhile, Present Doom finds out from Merlin that he can't leave except by magic and he can't leave without Tony, so he is reluctantly on Tony's side.

They need help from the Lady of the Lake, except the lake has been paved over and is now a parking lot. Merlin makes the lake come back and then of course they get Excalibur. Arthur is a kid, so he can't wield a longsword; Doom assumes he's going to take it because he is basically a king, and he's pretty grumpy when the sword picks Tony. Tony then uses Excalibur to destroy the space lasers, and I bet that is a sentence you never thought you would read. It's pretty cool. Tony concludes that magic has its good points. Tony stops Andros and Doom stops, uh, himself, and the world is saved and they get to go home. Also, Doom finds out Tony is Iron Man, but when Merlin sends them back he conveniently erases their memories, so neither of them remember anything about this and Tony's secret is still safe. And that's the sequel to Doomquest.

And if you think that's weird, wait until you see Legacy of Doom.

Iron Man: Legacy of Doom is a four-issue miniseries from 2008, also by Layton and Michelinie. Even though it's from 2008, it's set during a much more classic time in Iron Man, continuing on from where we left off in this Doomquest saga. We start with a framing story in 2008. Tony, who has Extremis now, is busy scrapping some of his older armors and reviewing his logs when he suddenly remembers that there was a whole thing with Doom that happened that he seems to have forgotten about until right now. So the whole thing is narrated by Tony in flashback.

Tony's in space fixing a satellite when a hologram of Doom shows up and summons him to Latveria. It's not really clear why Doom needs Tony's help in particular here, but Doom tells Tony that he's discovered that Mephisto would like to bring about the end of the world, which Doom finds, and I quote, "presumptive." So Doom has his Time Cube, and with it he takes Tony to hell.

(Yes, I promise this is relevant to Doomquest. There will be some Arthuriana shortly.)

Doom brings Tony to Mephisto, and it turns out it's a setup! Doom trades Tony for an item he wants from Mephisto, leaves, and Tony's going to be trapped in hell forever! Oh no! (I mean, he's not. But it's quite a cliffhanger.)

At the beginning of issue #2, we find out what the Arthurian connection is, which is that we learned that after the events of Doomquest, Morgan had been granted sanctuary by Mephisto in exchange for a shard of Excalibur that she had somehow stolen. Doom still wants Morgan's help with some magic -- he doesn't mention what it is here, but he says he needs someone of Pendragon blood, and that'd be her -- so he traded Tony to Mephisto in exchange for, I'm guessing, Morgan and the Excalibur shard.

I have probably mentioned this elsewhere, but Legacy of Doom #2 is one of my favorite issues of Iron Man ever, solely because of the next scene. We return to Tony in hell. Howard Stark is also in hell, and he is now a demon, and Tony has to fight him. Mephisto brings popcorn and watches. This is the one time in canon when Tony actually confronts his father, and okay, yes, it's a fistfight in hell and Howard is a demon, but that's comics for you. Howard spends several pages insulting Tony -- specifically insulting his masculinity, but that's a whole other essay -- until he finally insults Maria too, and that's when Tony fights back, because his mother taught him to be good. Honestly if you're a Tony fan I'd recommend this issue just for that scene.

Anyway, we go back to the Doom and Morgan plot, and Morgan casts the spell Doom wanted, which was fusing the Excalibur shard with Doom's armor. Then Doom sends her back to Camelot rather than hell, because he's still mad that she never helped him get his mom out of hell like she said she would.

Tony freezes Howard with Freon -- yes, the same trick he pulled on the dragon back in Doomquest -- and tells him, "You're no father of mine." It is immensely satisfying.

(I had been going to mention that I thought it was a shame that neither canon nor fandom seems to have really engaged with this confrontation, and I know canon never believes in narrative closure but fandom sure does -- and then, anyway, it occurred to me that since the framing story of Tony remembering this is set when Tony has Extremis, there's a very good chance that he no longer remembers remembering it. Goddammit, Marvel.)

(If I got to retcon one canon thing about Tony, I think "the entirety of World's Most Wanted" is up there. I mean, okay, a lot of things are up there, but WMW is definitely on the shortlist.)

Okay. Tony has now engineered his way out of hell, and he's back with Doom in Latveria. Doom has Excalibur. Doom would very much like to fight him. While wielding Excalibur. You get the sense that this is going to be bad. Another cliffhanger!

Legacy of Doom #3 opens with Tony destroying Doom's lab to buy time and running away from Doom and Excalibur. I should probably mention that Doom still doesn't know Tony is Iron Man (anymore), so he thinks he is dealing only with Iron Man, Tony Stark's lackey. Meanwhile, some scientists at SI think there's something weird going on with space. Meanwhile meanwhile, Tony is in a forest taking a breather when a mysterious old man walks up to him.

It's Merlin! Surprise! Merlin wants Tony's help to stop Doom from doing whatever he's doing with Excalibur. The sword makes you invincible and the scabbard makes you invulnerable, so Merlin sends Tony to Scotland on a fetch quest for the scabbard. Doom has now magically sent the sword in search of the scabbard, so the sword flies away to meet it and Doom follows. Turns out the thing that's wrong with space is a thing that's going to hit Earth at the exact place Tony and Doom are. What a coincidence! So Tony and Doom get trapped in a stone circle and fight some stone warriors and then Tony ends up with the scabbard. And by "ends up with," I mean it fuses to his armor. Next issue!

Legacy of Doom #4 is when things really, really get weird. A giant demon made of eyes (???) appears, and this demon is apparently what Doom had been preparing to fight (because it's mad that Doom stole one of its spellbooks), and now he can't, because the sword and the scabbard aren't together. Thanks, Shellhead.

That's when Merlin shows up and says all is not lost. They can defeat the demon... if they put the sword into the scabbard.

"But I'm the scabbard now!" Tony says, uncomprehending.

"Yes," Merlin says. "You are."

Then Tony gets it.

So, yes, Doom has to, um, penetrate Tony. With Excalibur. I love comics. I love comics so much.

So that's a thing that happens.

And then Tony flies off and, I guess, resolves to never, ever think about any of this again.

We head back to the framing story, in which Tony, now having remembered all of this, flies to Britain, buys the land the lake is on, and paves it over, presumably so it will be there for Merlin to bring back in Iron Man #250. The end.

Whew.

Okay, yeah, I know I didn't have to summarize the whole thing, but Legacy of Doom here really is one of my favorite Iron Man miniseries. And I just want to share the love. Please read it. It's great.

But the Arthuriana fun doesn't end there! In fact, now we get an Arthurian-themed arc that actually isn't in Iron Man comics. It's in Avengers! Iron Man is involved, though.

(There is also apparently a Morgan arc in Avengers #240. I actually haven't read it. It seems to be yet another Spider-Woman arc. I get the impression that this isn't really Arthuriana other than having Morgan in it fighting Jess, though, so it doesn't seem quite as relevant. Morgan also apparently has some appearances in FF, Journey into Mystery, and Marvel Team-Up, but those seem like more of just basic villainy. Also, probably not involving Tony.)

Kurt Busiek's 1998 Avengers run, volume 3, is in large part the kind of Avengers run that is a nostalgic love letter to older comics. Heroes are heroes and villains are villains and good triumphs over evil. The Avengers all live in the mansion and are BFFs. I love it. It does assume that you are already a fan of the Avengers, because it starts out by summoning pretty much everyone who has ever been an Avenger and is available to the mansion, and that is... a lot of people. Thirty-nine, by my count. Also, when the entire team is magically whisked away, we are treated to the following narration, as Steve disappears: "And Captain America's last thought, as the world goes white around him, and he with it -- is that Iron Man would hate this."

The narration doesn't tell you why Iron Man would hate this, or how Captain America would know that Iron Man hates this. This is not explained later on. But if you have read comics -- or if you have read the above summary of Doomquest -- you know that Tony is absolutely, one hundred percent, thinking, "I hate magic." And Steve knows it.

The reference is not relevant to the plot; if you don't get it, you'll be fine. But that's what I mean when I say this is a nostalgia run. There are definitely Easter eggs for people who have read a bunch of comics. Busiek does this a whole lot in his work -- there's a reason you can buy an annotated edition of Marvels -- and, yeah, it happens here too. Just know that there will be references you're not getting, if you're new to comics.

Anyway. So Busiek's run actually starts out with an Arthurian arc, #1-4, "The Morgan Conquest." The name is a dead giveaway. Yes, Morgan le Fay is back. Again. For once, Doom is not involved.

The Avengers are all back from their sojourn on Counter-Earth after fighting Onslaught -- don't worry about it -- and mysterious things are happening. There are a lot of monster attacks. So pretty much everyone who has ever been an Avenger is summoned to the mansion, at which point we learn from Thor about some mystical artifacts that are being stolen. (They are the Norn Stones and also the Twilight Sword. That sounds like something from a Zelda game, doesn't it?) The Avengers go to try to stop this, end up in Tintagel, and then they run into Mordred. He wants to capture Wanda, presumably for Magic Reasons. Morgan le Fay casts a spell on all of them, reshaping reality. Yes, all of them. Surprise!

So now all the Avengers are living in a medieval castle and/or town; Morgan is their queen, and thanks to the power of mind-control they are all basically living in Ye Olden Times. The Avengers are all some variety of knight, except for Wanda, who is chained up in the dungeon so Morgan can steal her magic and use it to fuel all this reality-warping.

Wanda calls for help, and that snaps Steve (Yeoman America!) out of the mind control (or altered reality or whatever you want to call it) pretty fast, because Steve's always been very good at resisting mind control, and then Steve promptly goes and snaps Clint out of it, because I guess Steve is also good at inspiring people to snap out of mind control. "Oh, man!" Clint says. "Not another alternate reality! Not again!" (I assume he's referring to Counter-Earth? Maybe?)

So Steve and Clint go around reassembling the Avengers and orienting them as to reality. They get Jan and Monica easily, but then Steve insists on trying to get Tony because, I guess, he likes Tony and would really like to hang around Tony, who is half-naked and asleep in his bedroom, and certainly I am reading nothing whatsoever into this. Clint tells Steve it's not going to work. Tony has historically been fairly susceptible to mind control; it was only pretty recently at this point that he'd been doing Kang's bidding in The Crossing. But the more serious impediment is that this is Tony Stark and he would obviously like to LARP being a knight forever and ever. Tony, therefore, does not believe Steve, and throws him and Clint out of his bedroom and into the barracks.

"Iron Man's a good guy, normally," Clint says. "But he's waaay too into his whole nobleman/lord of the manor trip. That spell musta hit him right where he lives!"

Clint speaks the truth, clearly.

Anyway, they go around and manage to make pretty much every Avenger in the room other than Tony snap out, and attempt to rebel against Morgan while Tony is stil fighting them because he is Still A Knight. There's a lot of punching, because some of the Avengers still aren't free; they weren't ones Steve found.

The day is saved when Wanda manages to channel Wonder Man and break free. This gives the Avengers a fighting chance against Morgan and the Avengers are all lending Wanda their power when Tony finally snaps out of it and is on the side of good. 

Then they take Morgan down, go home, and attempt to figure out which of these thirty-nine people should be on the active Avengers team. Hooray.

But that's not the end of Morgan le Fay showing up to screw around with Tony's life! There's more to come! Not much, but there is one that I know of, and at least one more memorable reference. 

(I haven't read all her appearances or anything, but one of them definitely involves Tony; I can't swear that he doesn't appear in any of the other books Morgan shows up in, but it'd be a cameo for him, because I only know of one more arc that she's in in a book that Tony stars in.)

In a few more years, we have now entered the part of Marvel Comics history where Brian Michael Bendis writes all the Avengers books at the same time for, like, seven years running. It was sure A Time. There were a lot of word bubbles.

And the thing about Bendis is, Bendis looooooves Doomquest. If you're familiar with the very end of his tenure at Marvel where he made Doom be Iron Man after Tony got knocked into a coma in Civil War II, you have probably figured out already that he likes Doom. But he also likes Doomquest, specifically.

I mean, if nothing else, the giant splash page in The Confession where Maleev redrew the climactic Doomquest fight while Bendis had Tony talk about how deeply meaningful to his understanding of the world this all was -- and how it allowed him to predict Civil War -- was probably a big clue, right?

As far as I am aware, Morgan le Fay makes exactly one more appearance in Tony's life. And that's in Mighty Avengers vol 1 #9-11. Only one of those issues is named, so I'm going to assume the arc is named after it: Time Is On No One's Side.

You remember Mighty Avengers, right? The deal with the Avengers books at the time was that after Bendis exploded the mansion and made the team disband in Avengers Disassembled, the main Avengers book was no longer called just Avengers. Instead, the main Avengers book was New Avengers, and that was the only Avengers book. Then Civil War happened, Steve got killed, and New Avengers became the book about what was left of the SHRA resistance (i.e., Steve's side) after the war. So about halfway through New Avengers, Mighty Avengers starts up, and Mighty Avengers is about an extremely fucked-up and grief-stricken Tony Stark trying to run the official government-sanctioned Avengers team, with Carol's help. This is the comic with the arc where Tony turned into naked girl Ultron. You remember.

So, anyway, there's this Mighty Avengers arc where Doom is Up To Something (there are symbiotes and a satellite involved) and somehow Tony and the Avengers end up in Latveria, punching Doom. Also, by the way, Doom is visiting Morgan in the past because he likes her. The Avengers attacking his castle made him have to come back to the present, so he's kind of cranky. And he fights Tony, and in the course of the fight, his time platform explodes and sends Doom and Tony and also the Sentry to... the past.

This is one of those times where you should definitely look up the comics if possible because the way the past is visually indicated here is that it's colored with halftone dots the way you would expect old comics to be colored, although they have modern shading and color palettes. It's very charmingly retro.

So the three of them are stuck in New York in the past, and naturally they would like to leave. There's one person in this time who has a time machine and it is, of course, Reed Richards. Doom and Tony have a lot of banter in this arc; I think it's entertaining.

Sentry has to be the one to break them all into the Baxter Building because of that power he has where no one will remember him. So they do that, travel forward in time, and end up in Latveria in the present again except Doom is gone and also things are currently exploding where they are.

Doom, of course, has made a side trip to visit Morgan again and he asks her to help him build an army, because I guess this is what their relationship is like. So the rest of the Avengers are captured by what look to me like Mindless Ones and are in a cave in magic bondage, because comics. Jess comments that at least they aren't naked, because she too is remembering that memorable New Avengers trip to the Savage Land. Doom threatens Carol in some creepy sexist ways and eventually it turns out that Tony and the Sentry are fine and everyone kicks Doom's ass. Business as usual.

And the last page of the arc is Morgan alone, wondering where Doom is. So technically Morgan and Tony don't come face to face here, but I think she counts as being at least partially responsible for ruining Tony's day here. And then Secret Invasion happens and Tony has a very, very bad day.

There are a few more Morgan appearances after this, but, as I said, I don't think any of them involve Tony. She shows up in Dark Avengers, apparently, which was one of the post-Civil War Avengers titles I didn't read, and I know that recently, on the X-Men side of things, she's been in Tini Howard's Excalibur one, which I have only read a little of. No Tony there. Just a lot of Morgan and Betsy Braddock and Brian Braddock and the Otherworld.

If you are interested in Morgan's other appearances, you might like this Marvel listicle that is Morgan le Fay's six most malicious acts. I pulled some of the Darkhold backstory from their discussion, but it's not really focused on Morgan and Tony.

So there you have it! That's everything I know about Tony's love for King Arthur and every run-in I know about that he's had with Morgan le Fay! One of two terrible people in Tony's life named Morgan! Actually, I don't think we've seen Morgan Stark in a while. I wonder if he's alive. There should be a Morgan & Morgan team-up. I should probably stop typing and post this.

The tl;dr point is that you should all read Doomquest and its sequels, especially Legacy of Doom. They're great!

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[centuryofdean]

Of Food and Comfort - Part 11

Author Disclaimer:: Marvel and its characters are not mine. I take no credit. Instead I claim the maybe not so great plot, writing and characteristics of the reader insert character. I am not a die hard Marvel fan, I haven’t read all the comics, but have watched the movies. I may get some things wrong, so please don’t hate me. I also have been incorporating Old Norse as terms of endearment.

Summary:: You worked for Tony Stark as a…mechanic of sorts. Anything around the Avengers compound that needed a technicians touch, you handled. With working and living there, you had grown to be friendly with the super heroes. Of course you had grown to have feelings for one of them. The muscled Thunder God to be exact.

Rated:: M for Mature. Please do not read this story unless you are 18+. Smut. NSFW

Pairing:: Thor x Reader

It was the middle of May when Thor finally had to be pulled away from you to go back to Asgard. Since the night he returned from the mission with the rest of the Avengers, things were better than great. The both of you were worse than teenagers in reality, constantly touching and attacking one another at a moment’s notice of privacy—sometimes even without the privacy.

Then one day you awoke in the middle of the night to Thor getting dressed.

Groggily, you turned on your side and grabbed for his back pants pocket, dragging him closer to the bed. “Where ya’ goin’,” you mumbled.

Thor sat on the edge of the bed next to you, using a hand to sweep the hair off your face before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I am called back to Asgard,” he murmured softly. “I will only be gone for a few days.”

This woke you up entirely, slightly panicked at the idea of him leaving you for Asgard. He was leaving, was he even going to wake you up before he was gone?

It seemed he sensed your panic because he laid his hands on your bare shoulders, smiling softly. “Do not worry, I was going to wake you before I left,” he pressed a quick kiss to your lips this time. Slowly, he pulled away but his eyes roamed lazily over your bare chest.

“Just be careful,” you laughed softly. He was being lecherous, lifting a hand to rub your shoulder and travel down towards your chest.

“I will schat. I will see you soon,” he said, kissing you softly again after lightly squeezing your breast. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Thor,” you replied before snuggling back into the blankets and let sleep reclaim you.

One Month After Thor’s Departure

A few days passed and Thor had not returned. Instead you slowly started to lose the ease of everyday life. Days blended into weeks achingly slow. Every morning you woke up, you wondered if he was okay and if that day was going to be the day he would return. Trying to distract yourself from the worry, you turned to one of the few things you knew besides technology.

Food.

Every day you slaved over the kitchen making a big breakfast, lunch and dinners for the entire team. In doing this, you were eating and snacking almost constantly. The kitchen was stocked with anything anyone could have imagined as well, thanks to you. If you weren’t cooking or eating, you were off to the store to get more things to cook and eat—or working on something technology related for Tony.

You were just grateful for the distraction in any form you could take it. Before you realized it, one day you looked in the mirror and noticed you seemed to have filled out more. Subconsciously you knew you had to have been gaining weight from the excessive eating and lack of exercising. Overall you weren’t bothered by the fact, just bothered that Thor never came back a few days like he had promised.

It wasn’t like Thor to make a promise and break it so easily. This leading you into a constant state of worry that was consuming you whole. The others tried to reassure you that he had been gone for long periods of time before. Something must have come up and he didn’t have time to come back and let you know it was going to be longer than a few days.

So you held hope that eventually he would return unharmed, and then you could finally breathe easy.

Two Months After Thor’s Departure

“Alright, Y/N, please stop cooking,” Clint sighed. He had stumbled upon you in the kitchen at eleven in the morning, covered in batter and a little out of it due to lack of quality sleep lately. It was hard to sleep, because every time you closed your eyes you dreamed of Thor. Either the both of you were together and happy, or he was covered in blood breathless.

All you wanted was something sweet, because honestly sweets sounded good to you lately. Maybe it had something to do with dopamine or whatever, but just the thought of French Toast had you drooling.

“Do you want some,” you asked with a yawn, flipping another slice of battered bread on the frying pan.

Clint just sighed. “I ate the waffles and fruit you made earlier,” he said slowly, “remember?”

“That was yesterday,” you said. “How many pieces do you want? There is enough bread for me to make enough for everyone. Do you think anyone else—”

“Honey,” he sighed again, cutting me off, “you’re not sleeping right. We ate the waffles this morning, you made them around eight. You haven’t even looked at me since I walked in the kitchen.”

What did looking at him have to do with anything? A little confused, you turned to appease him.

There Clint stood, struggling to hold a giant bundle of moving fur in his arms just a few feet from you in the kitchen. Taken by surprise, you tossed the spatula in your hands onto the kitchen counter, getting closer to what appeared to be a dog in Clint’s arms.

“We all talked about it, and we are okay with it,” he grunted trying to contain the animal.

“Okay with what,” you asked in awe. He crouched down and deposited the ball of fur onto the floor. The animal scrambled up and immediately started chasing its tail. It had to been at least forty pounds. The thing was already taller than your knees, but looked like it was a healthy weight, not over fed.

The black colored dog gazed up at you with dark blue piercing eyes.

Clint reached down to scratch it between the ears, gesturing for you to do the same. “We are okay with you having a dog! It was Tony’s idea really, he said you always asked him to get one. So, I went to the pound and picked up this guy,” he cooed affectionally at the animal.

You slowly lowered yourself to the floor, knees hitting the cold tile, letting your fingers pet at the soft fur on the dog’s head. It was so soft, it had to have been baby hair still. The pup barked softly, leaning forward to nip at your fingers and then lick at your face. A wave of puppy breath filtered in through your nose, making you cringe slightly but ultimately melt into a puddle.

Before you realized what was happening, you were crying softly, grabbing the large puppy and bringing it to your chest while you let the tears fall.

Ever since you started working for Tony Stark, all you did was pester him about letting you get a dog. Whenever the whole team left for missions, the base got pretty lonely. Even when everyone was home, sometimes the days were lonely because everyone was so busy doing their own things.

The fact that he is finally agreeing is what brought you to tears. Not because you are finally getting your wish of a pet companion, but that Tony saw how deeply you were hurting due to Thor’s absence. Tony had always been a good man at heart underneath his jerkish demeanor. This act of kindness from him also showed you how much he cared about you and your happiness.

French Toast completely forgotten, you laid down on the floor with the dog and played. You gently batted it back and forth on the floor, slowly it began to get annoyed and barked more and nipped at your hands and fingers. Eventually everyone converged in the kitchen to meet the newest addition to the compound.

Once Tony arrived to see, you jumped up and eloped him in a large hug, trying to hold in the tears. “Thank you so much,” you whimpered softly. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

“No worries kid,” he chuckled softly. “Just make sure you take care of the beast. I don’t want to smell dog crap in the building, alright?”

“Of course! I will be the perfect dog parent,” you swore.

Three Months After Thor’s Departure

It still hadn’t been easy. You had first expected to see Thor only a few days after he left. Now that three months had passed, you were trying to save your hope. Sleeping had gotten easier since Clint brought home your furry bundle of joy. At first you tried to prevent the dog from crawling into the bed with you, but ultimately caved when it whined softly at the end of the bed. When you would finally struggle to heft it up onto the bed with you, it was pure bliss of cuddles and love.

The name you picked out for him was one you forced yourself to practice daily. Mjölnir.

The puppy—who was not really the size of a puppy when he first arrived—seemed to almost double in size in the month he came home with Clint. You were convinced that if he stood on his hind legs, he was almost taller than you. None the less, Mjölnir was the perfect dog. He followed you around the base, didn’t whine or bark much and didn’t leave any sort of messes.

It didn’t happen overnight, but you soon realized that you had moved into Thor’s room. You had been sleeping in his bed since he left (the dog had been too), but you had slowly started to bring the things from your room into his. The couch and mini fridge from your room came, as did all of your clothes, toiletries and bedding. The room you used to stay in now looked like a new empty room for the next person.

Thor’s room had transformed into a mixture of both of his and yours. You continued to use his bedding, only because he had a king-sized bed whereas you had a queen. This was a good thing, because now that Mjölnir was much larger, the bed was just big enough for both of you to lay out comfortably.

The dresser vanity from your room made its way into Thor’s. It was big enough to hold the majority if your clothes—and Thor’s—and you had taken to covering the edges of the mirror with pictures that you had taken of you and Thor. The pictures ranged from before you two were dating up until the day he left. A few pictures of Mjölnir even made it onto the mural.

You wanted to say things had gotten easier over the month you had Mjölnir, but it would be a lie. Nothing had gotten easier. If anything, it was slowly getting harder because with each day that passed you continued to worry that the worst had happened. The dog helped make you content at least, keeping from turning to food for comfort.

Steve tried to help by involving you with as much as possible with anything he could. Once you even ended up in a meeting reviewing the next mission. That had never happened before, so it was mildly interesting. At most all you did was listen. Natasha asked your opinion on how you think they should handle the situation, go in guns blazing or under the radar.

If he wasn’t trying to get you to help with projects or missions, Steve was always offering to take you and Mjölnir to Central Park to get fresh air. After he ran around the park in its entirety—multiple times—he would come find you and the dog to walk around and enjoy the hot days of July in New York.

Four Months After Thor’s Departure

Some days you only got out of bed to take Mjölnir out. Food always seemed to appear at your door when you started to feel hungry. Sometimes when Steve asked you to help with something or offered to hangout you declined softly and stowed away into Thor’s room with Netflix and your dog for company. Some days you turned to wine early in the morning and didn’t stop until you went to sleep, waking up with horrible hangovers the next day.

Other days you tried to pretend nothing was wrong and Thor was going to show up any second to sweep you up off of your feet.

One day in particular you decided to take Mjölnir to Central Park for a nice long walk. The July sweltering heat dimmed down to a nice warm August day. You had invited Steve, but he got pulled away to work on something for the team. Everyone seemed to be busy and couldn’t come with you to the park, so it was just you and the dog.

Trying not to let it get you down, you loaded up in the Jeep with Mjölnir and headed into the city.

The sun had already dropped down significantly, but the sky was still bright and blue for six in the afternoon. You had opted to go later in the afternoon because even though midday wasn’t horrible to be in heat wise, Mjölnir’s thick black fur made it hard for him to stay cool.

The dog had already grown even bigger since you had gotten him. On his hind legs he had surpassed you by a head. On all fours? Well his head came to a rest at your chest. You wondered what kind of mutt he was, with his stature it seemed like he was a Great Dane, but he looked more like…well a wolf.

Whenever you got stopped in the park with him—people would ask if they could pet him or simply gawk and ask what breed he was—you insisted he was a Malamute and Great Dane mix. It was the only thing that would make sense to you, but overall stopped caring.

He was a good dog, overly friendly to anyone and everyone you both crossed paths with. Sometimes when someone walked up behind you, he growled softly. Whenever someone knocked on your—Thor’s—bedroom door he barked until you touched his fur softly. This led you to believe he was affectionate and protective.

Leash in hand, you took a deep breath and latched Mjölnir up to start your walk. You usually walked through half of the park when you went, but tonight you might just do a quarter because you didn’t like to be in the park too late. You never stayed long enough for it to get dark, because that is when it was most dangerous. Sometimes you do get lost though, and it takes a little bit longer for you to find the Jeep to get back home.

There weren’t too many people out and about this time, but you liked that. It was peaceful to just walk and not have to force a smile at those who would wave or want to stop you and ask about Mjölnir.

About an hour passed before you decided it was time to turn around and head back to the Jeep, leaving enough time to find your way back if you were lost.

Suddenly a stray cat darted out across the walkway and into the nearby trees, taking off into the distance. Even as it happened before your eyes, you were at a loss when Mjölnir jerked so suddenly he ripped himself out of your grasp and after the cat.

Frustrated, you took off after him, swerving in and out of trees and calling out his name. In a matter of moments, he became a dot in the distance.

Heart beating frantically, you started to call out his name, hoping he would turn around and come back to you. All thoughts of Thor had suddenly left your mind, a new worry that you had lost your new bundle of joy. What if someone thought he was a wild wolf? What if someone thought he was so perfect and wanted to take him away for themselves and not try to find his owner? What if animal control got called and he was gunned down for looking so big and menacing?

“Mjölnir! Mjölnir come here! I need you to come back Mjölnir,” you called out scared, a quiver starting to take your throat.”

Slowly the sky started to darken, clouds growing grey and thickening, small droplets of rain filled the air.

“Mjölnir!”

A deep rumble happened around you, you felt it in your chest like the thunder was right next to you. It messed with the beating of your heart, causing it to speed up and then slow, only to repeat in a weird manner.

“Mjölnir,” you whimpered softly, feeling the hot heat of tears start to hint at your eyes. What would you do if you truly lost him? Like you lost Thor.

A sob left you, forcing you to take a gasping breath as you felt your hair become soaking wet by the increasing rain. Even with your hair soaked, a weird tingle went up your spine and onto your head, almost as if your hair were trying to stand on end from static.

A deep hard vibration started, almost as if it were the heat of someone staring at you, but from above?

Looking up into the sky, you could see something moving fast—towards you.

Your arm was heavy, but the sudden heat in it caused you to gasp as it rose up to attempt to cover your face. A gust of wind hit you before heavy metal collided with your palm. On reflex your fingers curled around it and your muscles constricted to hold it in place and not allow whatever it was to knock you over or hit you in the face.

With a heaving breath you cracked open your watery eyes, only to cry out at the sight that met you.

Clutched in your hands was Mjölnir—Thor’s hammer. It was just as you remembered, slightly warm to touch and sleek with perfection of Asgardian carvings.

A small ray of hope sprouted in your chest, if the hammer was here—did that mean Thor was here? Your head quickly swiveled around the rainy terrain to see if you could make out a mop of blonde hair.

Instead you were met with a familiar face that was most unwelcome.

Just a few yards away, Liam was leaning against a tree, watching you with a furrowed brow.

It had been well over seven months since you had seen him last. Since he had hit you—twice. Just seeing him set a fear in your chest you weren’t ready to deal with. Ever since the night he attacked you, you thought you were okay. It bothered you for a few days, maybe a week, but you thought that was it.

You couldn’t have been more wrong.

Shaking slightly, you took a few steps back, hand taking a better grip on the hammer you now held. “Are you following me,” you asked, voice coming out calmer than you felt.

At the sound of your voice, Liam pushed off of the tree and into the now pouring rain, approaching you. With every step that you took backwards, Liam took two forwards.

This cannot be happening. Why in the Hell would this be happening? How come everything seemed to always go to shit when Thor was gone? Was Thor gone though? If the hammer was on Earth, that must mean he was on Earth, right?

Unless—unless you calling for the hammer and it coming to you easily meant that he wasn’t around it—that he was gone.

“I was waiting for your boyfriend to show up,” he scoffed, “but looks like the idiot isn’t going to come, is he?”

“Thor doesn’t come everywhere with me,” you spoke back just as annoyed. “I am my own person, not his child to look after.”

The hateful smile Liam returned escalated your fear again. When he was only ten feet away, you finally lifted the hammer towards him in threat.

“Come any closer and I will fry your ass,” you snarled out, slowly becoming furious instead of afraid.

“You’re packing a taser? You won’t use it,” he laughed.

He must not pay attention to anything but himself, especially if he didn’t realize what Thor was the God of, or what the hammer could do. Was the power just through the hammer, or was the power through Thor?

Did you just threaten to electrify Liam, not knowing if you could actually do it?

Where was the dog?

“Mjölnir,” you called out as loud as you could, “come on boy! Time to go home and get treats!”

During the silent stare off between Liam and you, he had slowly inched his way closer to where you stood defensively.

“What do you want Liam,” you asked. “I thought I made it clear we were done.”

When he was only a handful of feet away, he relaxed into a stance that indicated he wasn’t going to come any closer. “I just want to know why you cheated on me,” he asked.

A little dumbfounded, the hammer drooped down to your side lazily. Cheated on him? He couldn’t be serious.

“Liam,” you said softly. “I didn’t cheat on you with Thor. Nothing ever happened between us while I was seeing you. Nothing happened between us until a few weeks after you assaulted me.” The last few words came out as a hiss.

“There’s no point in lying about it Y/N,” he snarled. “Just tell me why and for how long. You think I assaulted you? I was the one assaulted by fucking Capitan America and his bird brained friend.”

The grip you had on the hammer renewed at his words. Anger was fueling him almost as easily as it was fueling you, but it seemed to be building quicker in him. The next words you were about to utter were lost as a loud snarling bark came from just behind you. Before you could turn to look, Mjölnir bound out to stand just in front of you, his hind legs up while his front legs and head were lowered as he bared his teeth.

Relief filled your core to see him return safely. “I can go blue in the face trying to tell you the truth Liam,” you said, “but it doesn’t matter. You are only going to believe what you want to believe, and sadly what you believe is not the truth.”

You watched as he took another step forward quickly, but what happened next you felt as if you had no control.

The hammer in your hand rose—on its own, you weren’t sure—and a flash of piercing bright light illuminated the park around you. Heat filled you hard and fast, brimming on the side of too hot, a little too painful. A racing tingle started from your hand holding the hammer and down through every nerve in your body to your feet.

Then a nice hum vibrated through your body, a constant one.

Liam’s eyes grew wide and panicked, darting across your face and body before he turned and ran.

Five Months After Thor’s Departure

The night you saw Liam in the park felt so long ago, although it were only about a month. It was also a garbled mess in your mind. You could remember vividly everything that happened up until he turned tail and ran for it. What was the garbled mess was what happened after.

You vaguely remembered gathering both Mjölnirs and trying to find the Jeep. The drive home was what you didn’t remember, or getting into Thor’s room.

Once you crossed your reflection in the mirror, everything came back to a startling focus for you. You remembered your H/C hair was braided elaborately from your crown to your back. The simple sweats and sweater you were wearing had disappeared somewhere. Instead you were dressed in a familiar simple shirt and trousers that you had wore one day in Asgard. Even your tennis shoes had changed to boots.

Even your eyes had changed to a startling ice blue.

The effect had only lasted until you went to sleep. Before you went to bed that night you undid some of the larger braids and changed into one of Thor’s shirts. In the morning when you were getting up to take Mjölnir out, you saw your eyes had changed back to normal.

The only conclusion you could reach is that Mjölnir the hammer had done this when Liam took a threatening step towards you.

A month later you hadn’t touched the hammer again. Instead you leaned it up against the vanity and looked at it from time to time, but never touched it. Your thoughts tried not to trail down the dark path of wondering what it meant to have the hammer there and not Thor.

It had been five months, he hadn’t returned but his hammer had. Was Thor lost to you forever?

 A deep whine from Mjölnir woke you. His wet cold nose was pressed against your cheek and while he licked softly and whined a little louder. “Ugh,” you groaned, pushing him away. “I’m up. Let Momma get dressed and I’ll take you out.”

At those words the large dog hopped off the bed and yipped in excitement. As you started to pull on a pair of leggings underneath your Thor shirt, you gazed at Mjölnir and tried to calculate how big he was now. Thankfully his height stopped with his head at your chest, but he seemed to be filling out more now. He easily was a hundred and twenty pounds.

Groggily, you exited the bedroom was watched as he slipped out in front of you. A woman was walking towards you, but your eyes were so squinted at the bright lights of the hallway you couldn’t make out who it was. “Mjölnir,” you growled softly, “get your ass back here. Mom goes first, you know better.”

The dog could sense the reprimand in the tone of your voice and stopped walking to wait for you. Throughout all the dog books you read, you tried to train him into believing you were the Alpha of your little family, and that meant that you led and he followed. Lately new people were popping up on the base and you didn’t want anyone to be scared of him if he was out wandering about.

The woman only paused a moment and jumped to the side and out of the way when you both passed.

The kitchen was even brighter than the hallway, so you actually covered your eyes and yawned when you stumbled into it. Creaking an eye open, you could see Steve at the counter stirring a cup.

“Mornin’,” you grumbled, trying to peak over his shoulder. Usually in the mornings he makes you a cup of tea. Instead you saw black coffee in the mug.

“Morning,” he said, sounding a little amused. “Yours is on the counter sweetheart.”

Smiling softly in thanks, you turned to the counter and picked up the steaming cup of tea. It smelled great when it reached your nose and was just cooled off enough to take a small sip from. The peaceful bliss was broken when Mjölnir growled a little too aggressively. Your eyes popped open in alert, concerned as to why he was growling in the first place.

Breath left you just as your cup of tea did. It slipped from your fingers and onto the floor, shattering and spraying hot tea all over. The heat from the hot liquid was dimmed by your leggings, but you don’t think you could have felt it anyway. Could you have felt anything?

There, sitting just at the end of the island was Thor.

Previous Chapter << Part 10: Chilli

Last Chapter >> Part 12: Waffles 

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[nikkoliferous]

Ragnarok Makes No Damn Sense (Part 1)

Having now laid out who Loki has always been and why there was an open agenda to demean and debase him, we come to why Thor: Ragnarok is antithetical to his character. Buckle your damn seatbelt. We've got a lot to unpack.

Off the bat, we're supposed to be appalled/annoyed/something that Loki has usurped the throne from Odin. Yet when last we left our heroes, Thor had abdicated his role as King of Asgard, knowing full well that Odin's health was failing, he was emotionally unfit to rule, and there was no other heir to fill his role. Oops! And for all that we're meant to believe in Loki's selfish ambitions for a throne, let us not forget that Loki-as-Odin at the end of The Dark World offered Thor this kingship. It was Thor who refused. What was it he said at the time? Oh, yes.

"For all his grave imbalance, Loki understood rule as I know I never will."

Now Ragnarok wants us to forget all that. It doesn't suit the narrative Taika Waititi wishes to spin. He wants us to believe that Loki is a terrible, lazy ruler who cares only about glorifying himself. But wait, is Loki a terrible ruler? The Hero™ tells us he is, so it must be so. And yet all we really know of Loki's reign is that he had a non-interventionist foreign policy, improved public infrastructure, and supported the arts. Wow, yeah, what a dick.

We will soon go on to meet Doctor Strange, a character who in comparison to Loki is a novice at magic yet somehow repeatedly manages to get the drop on the trickster. This is necessary in order to minimize Loki's power and competence in the eyes of the viewer. Let me also explain why the "I have been falling for 30 minutes" scene is not charming.

Does anyone think perhaps Loki may have a touch of PTSD related to the sensation of falling? No? Then perhaps we should instead analyze the deleted scene in which Loki is locked in a portapotty while men repeatedly urinate on him until Thor arrives to let him out. The fact that this was an idea someone had to begin with is gross. The fact that they came close enough to using it that it was actually filmed is downright shameful. Every single person at Marvel involved in approving this trash should commit seppuku in penance.

Ignoring the sexual assault implications here... I mean, this is literally toilet humour. Literally. What are we, five years old? Who the hell actually finds this funny?

"I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world." - Doctor Strange, Thor: Ragnarok

So how did you miss the huge, purple nutsack wreaking havoc across the cosmos? I mean, no offense. I'm just saying.

Now we have the culmination of Odin's A+ parenting. He's at the end of his life just because he feels like it, I guess, so now it's time to pretend he gives a damn about Loki for a few seconds again. One "I love you" without even looking at him is supposed to make a millennium of emotional abuse and neglect all better or something. Even in his death, Odin can't seem to stop screwing with Loki's mind. What a charming man, I'll sure miss him.

Oh, but before he's on his way, he has a teensy weensy confession to make. Remember when he lied to you about your entire existence, Loki? LOL! He lied to Thor about being the firstborn too! And now the evil sister neither of you knew you had is coming to destroy everything and he's given you no time to plan how to stop her! Don't you feel much better now?

It's been about five minutes since we were reminded that Loki is a coward and an idiot or something, so contrary to Tom Hiddleston's own words that

"The thing with Loki is that, if he’s afraid, he won’t show it. He’s been highly trained, through the experience of his slightly traumatic life, to shield his fears."

it became necessary for Loki to immediately panic and lead Hela straight to the one place he knows she'll be most powerful. Whoops!

The Warriors 3 are quickly dispatched by Hela because it's important we remember that the first two Thor movies were trash and nothing that ever happened in them has any meaning. By the way, Heimdall is Thor's new BFF now and Thor will never mention his former friends ever again. Ever. Like, even in passing. Like they never existed. Those people who committed literal treason for him both before and after he was banished in Thor (2011). And then again in The Dark World. Those friends.

Meanwhile, Thor and Loki have both landed on a planet called Sakaar. It's a giant trash heap and that about sums up how I feel about this whole damn movie, so credit to TW for the symbolism, I suppose. Here's possibly the most cringeworthy moment in the whole debacle—and that's a very high bar. Or low, I guess, depending on how you look at life.

He's a Norse god... screaming, "oh my god!" I don't have enough hands for all the facepalming I feel like doing right now.

Anyhow, Loki and Thor have arrived on Sakaar separately and Thor has just noticed Loki sitting across the room, casually joking about his own suicide attempt. Because there's nothing funnier than suicide, amirite?! Especially when you still haven't sorted through any of the complex issues that led you to become suicidal to begin with. Who cares? We're just here for the lulz, yeah?

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Korg, I'm the director's annoying self-insert, and I'll be pissing on every poignant moment from here on out because reflection is for nerds. You just need to smile more."

Hey, remember that time in The Dark World where Loki was stuck in solitary confinement for a year and Thor didn't come to visit him even once? Now Thor is the one locked up and Loki has come to visit him almost immediately. To offer his help. To try to relate. Maybe mourn the loss of... everything together. But Thor's not interested in relating. He's interested in scapegoating Loki, because that's what this family does.

"What would you like me to say? You faked your own death, you stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power, stranded him on Earth to die, releasing the Goddess of Death.” - Thor, Thor: Ragnarok

To borrow a phrase from the late Luke Skywalker, "Amazing. Every word of what you just said is wrong."

► Loki has never faked his death. What he did is fail to die on Svartalfheim, through no fault of his own. It seems a little insane I have to defend Loki's right to not die, but here we are, I guess.

"We planned to have Loki have a redemptive death[...]We think he's wounded, but it wasn't a death blow." - Kevin Feige, The Dark World DVD extras

"Loki probably in his heart wants to be worthy, and the way he achieves his redemption—his salvation—is to ultimately sacrifice himself, for Thor and for Jane. I hope it’s a very cathartic and moving moment, by saving his brother’s life and avenging his mother’s death." - Tom Hiddleston, The Dark World DVD extras

The worst that can be said of Loki's "betrayal" of Thor at the end of The Dark World is that he failed to inform him that he had survived. And Loki had very good reasons to do so. What had Thor offered him in exchange for his help with the Dark Elves? He would return him to his cell to live out the rest of his days in complete isolation—a fate that I will just reiterate is classified as a form of psychological torture.

► Loki didn't steal the throne. As mentioned above, he offered Thor the throne. Thor said no.

► There is zero evidence beyond Thor's own assumptions that Loki stripped Odin of his powers. We are meant to believe this only because we are told that it is so. On the contrary: "It took me some time to break free of your spell," Odin tells Loki before his death. But if Odin had been stripped of his power, how then did he eventually break free? Upon examination, Thor's logic fails.

► Loki did not "strand Odin on Earth to die". He left him in a freaking retirement home where he had every expectation that Odin would be well-cared for. An argument can certainly be made that after everything Odin has done to Loki in the past, Loki was downright merciful not to kill the old man in his sleep and be done with it.

► Loki had no way of even knowing Hela existed. How is her release his fault and not, say, Odin's for dealing with all his problem children by tossing them out and throwing away the key? Or for not preparing his sons for the day they would be forced to face her?

Oh well. Now it's time for Loki Is A Coward™, Part Deux, because as I may have mentioned previously:

"The thing with Loki is that, if he’s afraid, he won’t show it. He’s been highly trained, through the experience of his slightly traumatic life, to shield his fears." - Tom Hiddleston

MINOR ENDGAME SPOILER:

Reminder also that this was Loki's reaction to the Hulk in Endgame, only minutes after being beaten to a pulp by him

Doesn't seem particularly frightened, but what do I know?

Hey, remember back in Thor (2011) when this happened? If the Valkyrie were already legend, why did Sif need to prove herself as a female warrior?

Shhh. You were supposed to forget about that minor detail. Now back to the butt jokes.

Now let’s take a short intermission, shall we? Because this movie blows so hard that if I put all my criticisms in one post, it’ll probably break Tumblr.

↩️ back to the compendium

[timelesshonesttrailer]

The bane of many writers is that once you have birthed a story, taken the time to write, erase, rewrite, edit, scream at, and finally accept the words that you have written… you have to name it. 

Like people, or businesses, the name is everything. It’s one of the first things people see. It’s what they will use to communicate the story to others. So picking a good title is vital, which makes it all the more daunting. But like most things in life, once you break it down and examine its parts, see how it works, it becomes a lot less scary and a lot more manageable.

This is how I got pretty good at making titles, not only for my own works, but for others. And I want to share with you what I learned, and hopefully make the task of titling your stories a lot less terrifying.

To create a good title, you have to focus on two things: Structure and Meaning.

Structure

Quick, think of all your favorite books, shows, and movies. Now think of popular franchises that are household names. What do they have in common, title wise? They are short and to the point.

On average, these titles are one to two words long. This does not include articles or connecting words like “the,” “of,” “or,” etc, because they pretty much disappear.

The titles also average few syllables, about two or three. You don’t really want to go above four. English is a very lazy language and we like to keep things short. This is why a lot of titles get shortened anyway.

Examples of Titles (remember, articles/connectors don’t count):

Friends – One word, one syllable.

Cheers – One word, one syllable.

Lost – One word, one syllable.

Dune – One word, one syllable.

Timeless – One word, two syllables.

ER – One word, two syllables.

Twilight – One word, two syllables. Can refer to the entire series.

The Mummy (1999) – One word, three syllables.

The Simpsons – One word, three syllables.

Parasite – One word, three syllables.

Titanic – One word, three syllables.

Hamilton – One word, three syllables.

The X-Files – One word, three syllables. Though it’s debatable if X-Files is one word or two.

CSI – One word (standing in for three), three syllables (standing in for seven).

Star Wars – Two words, two syllables.

Good Omens – Two words, three syllables.

Game of Thrones – Two words, three syllables. Often verbally shortened to Thrones.

Lord of the Rings – Two words, four syllables.

I can keep going, but you see the trend.

But what about titles like the Harry Potter books? The answer is in the question. Each book/movie title starts with Harry Potter and then has a modifier. Harry Potter itself is only two words and four syllables. Then if someone talks about a specific novel, they typically would not say the whole title, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, they would simply say Azkaban. The same is done in other series. Percy Jackson for example.

There are, of course, exceptions.

Elementary is a one word, but five syllables. It’s also a very common phrase in both the genre and in everyday life. Use of common phrases is a way to get around the above formula because we’re already used to saying them, thinking them, etc. One Day at a Time is another good example. Three words, five syllables, but doesn’t feel any longer than Lord of the Rings. 

But the longer the title, the more likely it will somehow get shortened. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep was changed to three syllable Blade Runner. My favorite book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, has a very long title. Technically it’s three words when you remove articles/connectors, but the syllable count is a whopping ten. It gets away with it because for one, it’s a rift on an already common phrase, and two, fans can call it Hitchhiker’s Guide which is only four syllables. 

Now, once you know the structure of a title, you can work on choosing one.

Meaning

The title of your story has to give the reader an idea about what they’re getting into. It does this by focusing on one of the following:

A literal Person/Place/Thing –  Percy Jackson, Cheers, The X-Files

The Subject Matter – Friends, Law & Order, The Sixth Sense, CSI

The Genre – Twilight, Star Wars, Friday the 13th, Altered Carbon

The Overall Metaphor/Concept – Game of Thrones, Parasite, Pride and Prejudice

Many of these cross over. The Sixth Sense and CSI could also be considered a literal thing as well as a genre marker. If your title fulfills more than one slot, that is neat, but not a necessity. You might feel like you have to come up with some complex title, but sometimes it’s really just as simple as it’s a show about friends and their relationships with each other.

Take the title Catch-22. The term Catch-22 is a major metaphor and concept that is universally known today. But when Joseph Heller wrote Catch-22, no one called that concept a Catch-22. The title was simply naming the military rule (a thing), which created the situation and therefore drove the narrative. People later co-opted the title to quickly express the concept that the book so masterfully discusses.

Whatever you chose, the title should match the feel of the story you’re trying to tell. It’s part of your promise to the reader, and must make sense by the time they get to the end of the story.  

But how to pick a title when you have persons, places, things, subject matter, genre, and metaphors in your story? You simply work backwards. Ask yourself what your story is really about.

What is the driving force of the narrative?

What do you want your readers to get out of the story?

Is it a story about a person?

Or about the people of a specific group?

Is the story a one-shot or the beginning of a trilogy/series?

Is there a specific name or line of text that sums up your story neatly?

Somewhere in the answers to those questions is your title.

Now, I can make guesses on how some of the above mentioned titles came to be. Cheers takes place in the bar of the same name, and it’s about the patrons of said bar, so it’s the story about a place named Cheers. But I can’t speak for the creators and what thought processes they might have went through in order to choose their titles. So, instead, I am going to give you some of the titles I have come up with and explain how I got there.

Copper and Gold Two words, four syllables. Genre: Urban Fantasy This is the first book of a series based around a singular character, Minni Masterson, whose motif is copper, which plays a large role in the story. Since it’s a series, I need a title that could be formulaic across each one. In the first novel, the “guest character” is a gold dragon (Aiden Drake). So when I say Copper and Gold, I’m really saying Minni and Drake. And in the second book, when I say Copper and Cobalt, I am saying Minni and the Kobolds. Copper and Mercury is Minni and the Werewolves. Etc.

Emperor’s Shadow Two words, five syllables. Genre: Star Wars fan fiction/Mystery/Character Study The story is about Mara Jade who was an Emperor’s Hand. It’s about her coming to terms with the shadow that looms over her from her past and what Palpatine did to her. Instead of going with something much bulkier like In the Shadow of the Empire, I merged her past (Emperor’s Hand) with her current conflict.

The Serpent and the Liar Two words, seven syllables. (This format of “The X and the X” is one that is an exception to the rule, so long as the syllables belonging to X remain low) Genre: Marvel!Loki fan fiction/Pre-Movies Canon Compliant The story is about Loki and the events leading up to the first Thor movie. It also brings in Sigyn to explore that ship, along with some Norse myths, and to explain why she isn’t in the movie. Loki, of course, is known for his serpent motif and as the god of lies. I play on this, giving Sigyn a serpent motif, something to match her with Loki. But on several occasions, I raise the question of who is actually the serpent, and who is the liar? Because the best way to lie, is to tell the truth. So, like Copper and Gold, I’m really just calling the story Loki and Sigyn, I mean, Sigyn and Loki?

Amehrana One word, four syllables. Genre: Timeless Food Truck AU/Garcy Slow Burn The story is about Flynn and Lucy, and the rest of the team, in an AU setting. I named Flynn’s food truck Amehrana because it’s a mix of the word American and Hrana, which is Croatian for food. So the title is both a thing (the food truck) but also another word for Flynn and Lucy because he’s Croat and she’s American. But unlike Copper and Gold and The Serpent and the Liar, there is the added symbolism here of Flynn and Lucy coming together.

Frankenstein’s Monster Two words, five syllables Genre: Timeless Mission Fic for Proposed Season 3 (non-movie compliant) The mission is Mary Shelley, but that doesn’t mean there *has* to be a Frankenstein reference. But you have Flynn who thinks he’s a monster, one created by Rittenhouse. I also go deeper and hint at Lucy herself being a Frankenstein Monster, i.e. created by Rittenhouse for a purpose she doesn’t want any part of. Once again, my title is basically just another name for my main characters.

I want to interject for a moment and point out that we all have our preferences in our writing styles, and titles are no different. If you realized you tend to do most of your titles a specific way, then own it. It’s part of what makes you unique as an artist. And if you occasionally decide you want to go a completely opposite direction for one story, then go for it.

Case in point.

No Accounting for Heroes Three words, seven syllables Genre: Canon Compliant account of the Fall of SHIELD and its aftermath This fic really takes a hard look at what happens to those living in a world with superheroes. The main character, an accountant named Rani, is giving an account of events. My cowriter suggested putting “accounting” in the title which made me think of the common phrase, “no accounting for taste,” which is a concept about how different people like/need different things, and applied it to the story. No Accounting for Heroes means that we all need a hero, but maybe not the heroes we think we do, and we can all be heroes in some way, to someone in need. But also, there is that underlying current that heroes are not held accountable for the destruction that follows in their wake. 

Never be afraid to ask for help with titles. And don’t be afraid to reject titles if they don’t fit. And definitely don’t be afraid to take the suggestion, turn it over, season it, put it in a waffle iron, and see if what comes out is edible.

I have helped others name their stories, and here are three examples:

Remember, Remember Two words, six syllables. Genre: Timeless Garcy Canon Divergent/Angst/Mission Fic The story is about Lucy trying to save Flynn after he goes back to 2012. Emma saves him instead. Eventually Lucy runs into him and she discovers he doesn’t remember her and only knows what Emma has told him. At the end of the story, they have a final confrontation during the Gunpowder Plot. When the author asked my thoughts on a title, well, the Gunpowder Plot has the very famous saying “Remember, Remember, the 5th of November” and the whole story is Lucy trying to get Flynn to remember…

Disavowed One word, three syllables. Genre: Timeless Luciana Canon Divergent/Angst In this Twitter story, Flynn is blocked from returning to the US from Canada because they still think he’s a terrorist. Basically, his own country, whom he helped save, rejected him. When asked for a title, I focused on the idea that this story is about Flynn being rejected/denied entry/etc. I basically flipped through synonyms for rejected until I came across disavowed which is a term often used in spy craft. It’s a heavy word which paired well with the angst of the story.

Only Our Stories Three words, five syllables. Genre: Timeless Movie Canon Compliant-adjacent/Angst/Mission Fic The phrase “only our stories” is said in the fic itself. Future-Lucy writes it down towards the beginning, once she’s returned from dropping off the journal post-Chinatown. All that she has left of Flynn is only their stories, which she writes in the journal. She is eventually able to change things to get Flynn back, but he doesn’t remember her. There is still a connection though… their stories.

Never be afraid to take a line from your story to use as your title, so long as you follow the structure guidelines from the first section. 

At the end of the day, coming up with titles is just as much a skill as any other part of writing. We suck at first, then we figure out what's good, what's bad, and look at the world around us to figure out how to make it better. And don’t be afraid to edit it as much as you edit your novel. Until you publish, no title is set in stone, so it doesn’t have be right the first time.

And now here is where I close out this reference guide by saying something inspirational. Instead, I’m going to name this piece. While I wrote it, the temp file name was “Creating a Title” which is technically accurate but has no umph or style. This guide is meant to be helpful so the title should inspire confidence that I know what I’m talking about. But I don’t want it to sound too clinical either. 

A synonym for “name” is designation which I like but too many syllables because I’ll have to add to it. Synonym’s for “title” don’t give me much either. Instead, I should focus on the concept of the guide rather than its direct contents. Using something like “What’s in a Name?” would be too cliché. “I Suck at Titles” is funny, at first, with it being the exact opposite, but my genre is more educational than satire.

Wait, if I’m not going to reveal the title until the end, as a way to show you the thought process in creating a title, then to the reader, the title both does and doesn’t exist at the same time. It’s what you might call a…

Schrodinger’s Title: A Guide to Naming

[thelostnymphaeum]

I'm with you 'til the end of the line.

Entry: 004

// Cinema //

Marvel Cinematic Universe

MARVEL MANIA

Superhero movies were not my thing. The only superhero movie I have watched as a kid was Spiderman. I am not into sci-fi or superhero movies albeit being a huge fan of cinema. But during this quarantine, I decided to experiment with my taste and try to indulge in a new set of genre – the Marvel Cinematic Universe. These movies were a far cry from films that are to my liking, such as “Brooklyn” and “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”. I used to find superhero movies corny or cheesy, because they were not based on real people and I fancy movies that tackle the inner spectrum of humanity. Additionally, I used to think that actors who choose to be in these movies are not “real actors” because portraying a superhero does not really seem to me as a role where you have to internalize the character. I was probably the only person in my class who did not cry when someone said “I love you, 3000” after the Endgame came out, and the only one who did not get the “Wakanda forever” reference. That changed because yester night, I finally finished the entire MCU. I came in with a viewing guide from my friends and I came out feeling like I just had a whole cultural experience.

THE AVENGERS

I like all of them. Except maybe the Captains. I don’t like Captain America. I understand that he’s supposed to be the poster boy of “superheroes” where he’s all righteous, courageous, virtuous and kind to everyone – but that does not seem realistic at all. His character just seemed predictable and bland for me. Maybe that’s why I prefer Tony Stark, he is more dimensional. He is someone who is unapologetic, makes mistakes, smart, arrogant; but his heart will always come from a good place. During battles, it’s always Tony Stark who is thinking of ways to end them (like how to diffuse Ultron at Sokovia) so I feel as if it’s him that should be leading them. Captain America only lead them because he was born in 1918 (just kidding, don’t eat me Steve Rogers stans).  He also looks way too good. It’s unreal. What a knucklehead (Loki will agree with me on this). Jk. Anyways, he earned plus points from me when he returned the infinity stones successfully. As for Captain Marvel, I don’t think I need to explain why I find her insufferable. 

A little piece about Spiderman. I like this reboot of Spiderman, and Tom Holland deserves all the hype he got because he worked so hard for his movies. No one can beat Tobey Maguire of course, but we are all just glad that Tom did not ruin Spiderman for us. The only thing I did not like about his reboot was that he relied too much on Mr. Stark. Tobey’s Spiderman never relied on anyone, he was just his own superhero. But for the sake of integrating him into the MCU, I guess that they have make this fun and fresh Peter Parker juvenile in order to be able to develop his character more. So I think I’ll give it a pass.

I personally like the Thor films the best. Because it was based on Norse mythology. Because of Loki. Because Anthony Hopkins is in it. I dislike the Captain Marvel movie the most.

ENDGAME THOUGHTS. We did not need Captain Marvel. Thor did not deserve to become a drunkard and a greasehead – he’s a freaking Norse God! Why was Pepper Potts at the final battle against Thanos? Thank you, Doctor Strange. Tony was genuinely and undeniably- the heart of the Avengers.

SCORSESE, COPPOLA & PEWDIEPIE

Along with its colossal popularity, the MCU movies have also acquired prominent detractors. Prior to watching the entire MCU, I would have probably agreed with Scorsese, Coppola and Felix (here is his “controversial” video on “I don’t like Marvel movies”).

“Honestly, the closest I can think of them, as well made as they are, with actors doing the best they can under the circumstances, is theme parks. It isn’t the cinema of human beings trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human being.” – Martin Scorsese

"Martin was kind when he said it's not cinema. He didn't say it's despicable, which I just say it is." – Francis Ford Coppola

Parts of it are true, on the basis where the entire plot lines are predictable and it’s not the kind of cinema I learned to love as well. Marvel movies usually follow the same backbone. This is a huge reason why some cinephiles don’t like them, because the mystery is gone and it’s all obvious. After watching all of them in a 3-week streak, I could pretty much sum up the Marvel movie plot line into this:

The protagonist is in a helpless or vulnerable position.

The protagonist meets someone who can help them.

The protagonist works hard to get to his pre-final form and along with it, learns to fight in the name of eradicating the bad guys. 

The protagonist finds out that her/his master is not all-good.

Chaos but then they forgive and understand the master.

2-3 battle fights, the last one is usually the peak battle where we see the protagonist in final form.

I like movies that tackle more about realism. I like seeing actors play roles that depict humanity as humans. I’m not a huge fan of special effects or super powers either. When Scorsese said that they are “not cinema”,  I understood it because there are no intricacies or space for a different form of expression when you’re doing mega franchise films that are meant to sell to the general public. Which brings me to another point, that MCU is largely a business profit. These movies are made by mega corporations in the film industry, and it might also hinder other smaller filmmakers from showing their films if a titanic franchise is showing on the same week as theirs. Comic book fans are enormous in numbers which is why there is such a huge following for these movies even if they use the same plot lines all throughout. Humans are slaves for nostalgia, and people like to see the characters they have read and admired during their childhood come to life. Because of that, these corporations will try to capitalize on that and make more movies for as long as they can, and in a sense, you can see that they might be doing it only for the sake of money and not of art any longer. This is what the disparagers would say; that there is very little artistic values to these films because they are made to be sold, not appreciated for its artistry. 

“Many of our grandfathers thought all gangster movies were the same, often calling them “despicable”. Some of our great grandfathers thought the same of westerns, and believed the films of John Ford, Sam Peckinpah, and Sergio Leone were all exactly the same. I remember a great uncle to whom I was raving about Star Wars. He responded by saying, “I saw that when it was called 2001, and, boy, was it boring!” Superheroes are simply today’s gangsters/cowboys/outer space adventurers. Some superhero films are awful, some are beautiful. Like westerns and gangster movies (and before that, just MOVIES), not everyone will be able to appreciate them, even some geniuses. And that’s okay.” – James Gunn, Guardians of the Galaxy Director

Here’s my two cents on this whole hullabaloo. Art is expressed in different ways. Just because something is popular does not mean that you should hate it or feel as if it lacks creative value. For one, I think that if the Norsemen would see the Thor films, their jaws would drop. Art in these movies is seen through the elaborate special effects and costumes. A lot of people work behind the scenes to make this kind of art form. They are not any less of an artist. The effects are wonderful, amazing and beautiful. Sure, they don’t have meandering plot lines or mysteries that are meant to make you think. But they are able to show art in a way that is along with the times, showing the capabilities of what computer generated imagery could be. It gives us the fantasy that otherwise would not be achievable in real life (for all I care, my favorite scenes are seeing Spiderman glide across the buildings of New York).

These movies are intended for children and teenagers (adults are there for the sake of nostalgia or lighthearted entertainment, I guess?). For kids, it inspires them that they can be anything they want to be. For teenagers, it might be a good footing for their moral compasses. For me, it just inspired me to get fit (hehe). My point is, these movies are made to cater to a particular type of audience, and the others are there just for the spectacle. If all the movies were Scorsese or Coppola, what would the kids watch in the theaters? Kids would not understand “Taxi Driver” nor would be a good foundation for their morals. It was a classic and it deserves the reputation it has, but after only a certain age will you be able to appreciate it, and only if you had a particular knack for appreciating films. MCU movies are made for people who just want to have a good time; you don’t have to like high-brow or art-house movies to understand it, and that’s all there is to it. It’s made for entertainment, what’s so wrong with that?

And the actors – a lot of them played the characters so well which made me realize that taking on a superhero role does not lessen your credibility as an actor. My particular favorites are Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Holland, Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr. (bonus points for Anthony Hopkins, his range, man, his range). They were able to bring their roles to life in such a distinct way that it would be hard to never associate them as superheroes, which of course, is a double-edged sword. As a starting actor, that could be a bubble that is hard to get out of. For example, Tom Holland as Spiderman; people will always associate him as that, and how many of you has actually seen the movies he has done aside from MCU? It might be hard for him to bridge his career from being a huge franchise film protagonist into doing films to his own preference. MCU movies make the popularity and the money; indie films – not as much. 

I don’t think that the existence of MCU is throwing away the spotlight from smaller filmmakers. Because back then, I simply chose not to see MCU movies because I was not interested. People will find ways to support art that they like, and just because MCU existed, it did not hinder me from looking for movies that I like. The cinema is made by individuals who like to create movies. There are different ways to express them. There are different subscribers to different genres. To each their own. But then again, I am not working in the film industry, so I can’t speak for them, I can only say what it’s like for a movie buff like me.

These are the movies that make up people’s childhood. These are characters that gives reason for people to bond together. When Tony died, the entire world felt like they lost a father. If it’s able to touch lives as much as any other film, why should we discriminate against it? Love is love, after all.

[littlemisssquiggles]

*fluffs you* Uhm... Any thoughts on Chapter 5 yet? You know I don't mind spoilers :)

Apologies for the late response! Say no more Mizu. I gotchu fam! If I’m beingcompletely honest with you, I don’t have much to say about this episode mostly in the sense that, even after processing it for an entire day, I’m still riding the high of it. I will say overall that I enjoyed this episode so I think for the most part, this time I’m just only going to mention the two key parts that I enjoyed the most about this episode, if that’s okay:

JNPR RISES

First of all, as you’ve probably seen by now from my blog—a wild cute farm boy was sighted in this episode. Naturally this made this squiggle meister very very happy. 

Going in CH5 especially following the last episode, what I mostly wantedout of this new chapter on Oscar’s side was mostly to see him show up. I honestly felt like a mom whose kid went away to summer camp and hasn’t seen them in weeks. I just wanted to see Oscar to be reminded that he’s still in the PLOT (unlike certain other characters *coughsMariacoughs*). But I ended up getting more than I bargained for.

This episode showed Oscar teaming up with JNR in an all fours team battle against an Atlesian huntsmen team I’ve been waiting to make a comeback since V3. 

RWBY BROUGHT BACK THE FNKI! 

Seriously it was SO GREAT seeing Neon and Flynt returning. I was worried that with our heroes spending time mostly with the Ace Ops that we weren’t going to catch them at all. 

Luckily Eddy Rivas came in clutch for us FNKI fans this episode. Myfavourite part of CH5 was the fight between FNKI and JNR with Oscar. It wasso good. Seeing their interactions on the battlefield. Hearing Neon roast Nora and having Nora Harry Pottering herself around the battlefield trying to catch her was awesome.

Since when can Nora use the hammer to fly around like a witch on a broomstick!? This is the first time we’ve seen that and I really really love it! Need more hammer Witch Nora!

Watching Jaune fight Flynt and Ren fight Ivory while Oscar fought the giantKobalt and seeing all three of them kick ass. The fact that FNKI lost to JNPRmade me smile because a) it shows how much JNR has indeed improved since FNKI met them during the Vytal Festival, b) it highlights how much Oscar has been improving on his own without Oz and c) it shows how well Oscar works with JNR.

Seriously this scene gave me more hope for Oscar inevitably joining JNR to revive JNPR because that’s something that this squiggle meister has been hoping for since V5. For me, one thing I’ve always wanted for Oscar is for him to gain his own place on the team beyond his role as Ozma’s current descendant in the cycle and Ozpin’s successor. 

Hence why I fell in love with the theory of him joining JNR to revive their huntsmen team. 

While they’ve done well on their own up until this point, admittedly JNRhas been incomplete since Pyrrha’s death. And one thing I’ve always appreciated about the JNR gang is how they always felt like a family. 

I know Team RWBY is our core protagonist team but I’ve always felt more attached to JNPR and I believed them to have the stronger family rapport than RWBY. 

This is why I was hoping Oscar would eventually join them. Become a part of their little family and give Oscar three brothers-in-arms that he can count on both off and on the battlefield.

I felt like Oscar would fit well with JNR. Not just because they were short one member and his last name coincidentally provides that missing “P” from JNR…but mostly because I figured Oscar would complement Jaune, Nora and Ren just much as Pyrrha did once before. Thus making the young farm boy turned little barn prince fit well within JNR. 

I always liked the idea of Oscar making JNR feel whole again and reviving their group through his growing bond and comradery with each member. 

Beyond that, I wanted Oscar to experience what it was like to be a partof huntsmen team since part of the enjoyment of RWBY for me was watching these characters grow close to one another over the seasons. 

Becoming teammates then friends and then to a greater extent—a family. I wanted the same experience for Oscar because right now, he could really use that. 

He could use more friends. He could use a family. People he could happily call his brothers and sisters. His people and I think JNR can provide that him. No, I know JNR can provide him that. JNR are ¾ of who I believed could become Oscar’s Golden Circle of most trusted confidantes (the final member being Ruby, of course) and I’m not giving up on that headcanon. 

I figured that’s what the Writers were going for last season with the whole Argus subplot between Jaune and Oscar. But…well, we all know how that went. Nonetheless, maybe there’s hope for this season. I’d love for the PLOT to revisit Oscar’s departure last season and I’d like to think it could come back up for the sake of his development to come from this season. But as always we, will see how that goes.

—————————

SISTER SISTER 

This episode also confirmed what most of us RWBY Theorists has been theorizing for years. Winter is going to be the next candidate for Winter Maiden. 

According to the episode, Ironwood has not only been grooming Winter to become the next Winter Maiden following the passing of the old one but he’s also been grooming the Winter Maiden to choose Winter as her next successor by having Winter be the only person to interact with the old Maiden. 

That’s an interesting take. I mean, my theory has always been thatIronwood wanted to control the succession of the Maidens but I figured he wouldhave done it using Atlas’ experimental aura technology. Not by literallygrooming the old candidate to pick his designated next one. It’s kind a poor way of doing it because as Oz once put it—”Maidens choose themselves”. 

The only time this rule has been broken is when Maidens have been killed and their powers end up going to their assailants as opposed to someone they cared about. This also makes me curious as to what would happened should Ironwood’s plan not work with the Winter Maiden.

I remember Qrow mentioned something about the Maidens back in a previous volume regarding what would happen should a maiden not have someone to choose in mind.

I know Ironwood is trying to make the Granny Winter pick Winter but…what if…this doesn’t happen? 

After all, you can’t just make a person care about someone just because she created a controlled scenario for them to force this type of bond. It doesn’t exactly work that way. While Ironwood might succeed in making Granny Winter care for Winter, I doubt he can make her care about her enough to have the powers pass onto her.

Imagine if…it becomes a case where the Winter Maiden had a daughter or a perhaps a granddaughter or great niece? Perhaps the Winter Maiden never had any children of her own since Maidens are usual chosen young. Perhaps Granny Winter has only known the life of a Maiden and has mostly lived it in isolation. However the only exception was her keeping in contact with the last family member that she had before she became a Maiden. Maybe she had a sister? Or a brother who eventually had a child of their own. A daughter. 

What if…the Winter Maiden has young niece or great niece she never met. And she’s been thinking about that person for some time. Especially now that’s she on her death bed. Perhaps…Granny Winter has one dying wish that she confided in Winter? That she wanted to be reunited with her niece.

Perhaps…she confided this in Winter and she’s been keeping that little secret from even Ironwood this entire time. 

Overall, this whole plot point with Winter and Granny Winter is really intriguing. And what’s more cool about is that it puts Winter more into perspective. This is the first time the show has really focused on Winter as a person; highlighting how she feels. We’ve seen Winter display a softer side to her otherwise stoic demenour but it’s usual reserved for her closest family such as her sister, Weiss.

This is the first time we’ve seen Winter show genuine care for anyone outside of her family. I wish we had gotten more time to spend with Winter and Granny Winter. It was nice to see how Winter has accepted her fate. It was also good to see just how much Winter values General Ironwood. It wouldn’t surprise me if part of the reason Winter respects the General is because she sees him as a father figure—at least a better one than her own father. I just really enjoyed that moment between Weiss and Winter. It’s very rare we see the Schnee Sisters interact so it was lovely seeing them have their moment this episode.

I know I call the Winter Maiden Granny Winter, but in actuality, her name is Fria. And one thing I’m curious about is whether or Fria will be based on the Norse Goddess of the same name?

Is Fria related to Nora?

This isn’t really a point of the episode but a theory I have based on what I learnt of the Winter Maiden. To me, the name “Fria” reminds me of “Freya”

According to research, Freya, in Norse mythology, is the Goddess of love but she is also associated with sex, lust, beauty, sorcery, fertility, gold, war and death.It is also stated that Freya shares a connection to Thor. Since Nora is RWBY’s equivalent of Thor and since it’s been teased that us fans will be learning more about Nora’s backstory soon, I’m starting to wonder if there will be an unspoken connection to Nora and Fria---the Winter Maiden.

Technically, the Maidens are the closest thing to goddesses in Remnant given their strong potency in magic. So I’m curious if at some point it will be revealed that Nora is a long-lost relative of Fria---probably her only living family member---who was stolen from her as a child by bandits who then trafficked Nora off to Mistral where she ultimately escaped her captives and wound up in Kunoyuri where she met Ren.

Imagine if...it’s a case where...Nora hasn’t seen Fria in years. Nor does she even remember her since Nora was abducted as a child so all the trauma of being kidnapped from her family forced Nora to somehow repress her past. Perhaps V7 will end on a cliffhanger note with Fria revealing to Winter her last dying wish---

To be somehow be reunited with her beloved granddaughter before she parted Remnant and returned to the Gods. And her granddaughter’s name was Nora Valkyrie.

Imagine if...V7 ends on Nora just learning that she is the granddaughter of the Winter Maiden who desperately wants to see her before she goes. But Nora becomes torn up about it since hearing about Fria causes all the repressed memories of her past to suddenly resurface after so long and for the first time since she first met Ren, Nora becomes a emotionally vulnerable and scared girl again--- unable to cope with this startling revelation and this time, it will Ren’s turn to support Nora on the qualms of her past along with Jaune (and possibly Oscar to since he is connected to the Maidens being the successor to the man who created them). I’m not sure if this will be the case in the serious. 

However I am definitely down for this theory becoming canon if possible.

Nora becoming the Winter Maiden would surprisingly fit given the fact that her fairytale counterpart is an mythological god. Nora will literally become Thor if she rises to Maiden status and thunder is her element of choice.

Just picture Nora like Thor in Thor: Ragnarok. Her crystal blue-green eyes aglow with electricity surging around her body. And Nora using thunder as her element of choice as a Maiden even though she’s supposedly the Winter Maiden still fits since, technically---Cinder is the Fall Maiden and her element of choice is Fire.

Raven is the Spring Maiden and her element of choice was surprisingly Ice of all things. So Nora as the Winter Maiden using thunder. That would be purely badass!

The only gripe that I have with this theory is that Nora rising to Maiden status would put a greater death flag target on her back than her red hair. Theorists are already saying that Nora might be killed by Tyrian since in mythology, Thor was killed by a scorpion. 

I personally don’t want Nora to die at all! I like and care too much about Nora as character. Raven is a Maiden and she lived. So if Nora becomes a Maiden, I expect her to live too. I’d actually be livid if Nora ends up dying especially since she’s been with us since V1. Pyrhha’s death was one thing but Nora’s...I’ll be really pissed if she gets killed off. ESPECIALLY in the event of JNPR being revived through Oscar.

So yeah, while I really want Nora to become the Winter Maiden, I don’t want her to die either. But regardless, for now I’m going to stick a pin in this theory and keep it on the table of possibilities.

----

Robynn Death Flags + Ace Frames

And that’s pretty much it. That’s all I have to say on CH5, Mizu. As an honourary mention, I did like seeing Robyn Hill. She was cool and I’m intrigued by her and her Happy Huntresses. I’m especially curious about her possible connection to Clover because they seemed to have history. Definitely giving me Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham vibes. But beyond that, there wasn’t much for me to say on the part with Robyn. However I am looking forward to seeing her and her huntresses in action soon.

The title of the next episode---CH6 is titled “Night Out” and our heroes are expected to be attending the Watch party for the election campaign between Jacques and Robyn. 

I have a hunch that CH6 is going to be another “calm before the storm” type of episode just like CH4. 

I have a feeling that Tyrian is going to probably show up during the rally targeting Robyn to kill her. 

Since Tyrian is working with Watts and since Watts was shown eyeballing the Ace Ops in the opening, my theory is that Watts is going to have Tyrian either kill off Robyn or at least target her and make it look as if Clover of the Ace Ops was responsible for the hit on Robyn at the rally.

Thus making the public of Mantle believe that the Ace Ops were the ones behind all the murders of the spokespeople in Mantle like Forest. #FRWBY

I think it’s going to start with Clover first since he’s the leader of the Aces and we’ve seen more of him than his teammates. 

I have a feeling that Watts plan is to use either Clover and/or the Ace Ops as martyrs to further tarnish the General��s public image through a huge scandal with Robyn. 

I think Robyn is either going to die or be believed to have been killed with Clover blamed for her death. 

An Ace Op---one of the General’s personal attack dogs--- accused of killing the key representative for Mantle to keep her from gaining a seat on the governing council---hence keeping Mantle out of Atlas? That’s a good scandal. One that could destroy James even further. 

I still stand by my theory that Jacques plan is to usurp James and through Watts’ aid, I think there’s a huge possibility.

Unless Jacques is nothing but a perfect pawn to Watts for him to pin everything on in the end just to cover his tracks and cause an even worse scandal for Atlas with Mantle.

I dunno. These are all just theories but I’m gonna stick with them for now. In the meantime, I hope this answers your Mizu.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

[ceasarslegion]

Alright. I’ve been studying film history all day in preparation for an exam tomorrow, and I’m sick of it. Time to talk about movies the way I Want To Talk About Movies

Those of y’all who’ve been around for the entire scope of my run on this hellsite know that the one hyperfixation that has been a constant for me is Marvel. It’s always there, waiting, watching... My favourite team is the X-Men, my favourite heroes: Wolverine, Quicksilver, Spider-Man, and Iron Man... name a Marvel movie and I’ve definitely seen it at least twice, and that was just in cinemas. I dare say Marvel is my special interest (Endgame doesn’t exist though)

Except for one. I never saw Logan again after the premiere I attended with some high school friends (gap years are a normal thing outside of North America you guys like what are y’all on going to uni straight out I fucking hate the American dream) and I don’t want to.

It was the best Marvel movie I ever saw. Hands down. Absolutely incredible. And I don’t ever want to see it again, because it fucking destroyed me. And in my opinion, that’s what made it perfect.

Buckle up, y’all, we’re getting into deep lore

When you think of a superhero movie, what do you think of? Actually, let’s narrow that down. When you think of an X-Men movie, what do you think of? Probably something like this, if not this exact scene:

Okay, let’s unpack: Apocalypse was by no metric the best team-up X-Men movie (I’d argue Days of Future Past for that title) but this scene kind of encapsulates the entire tone and storytelling style of the X-Men Cinematic Universe so far. And it’s just REALLY satisfying.

There’s danger. There’s so much danger. But it’s not really in the forefront of your mind, is it? The entire Xavier school’s about to blow up with every student, teacher, admin, and X-Man in it, and what do we get for playback but Pietro’s headphones playing Sweet Dreams from his walkman. We get spectacle as the entire world slows to a screeching halt to show how a mutant speedster as powerful as himself experiences the world. And we’ve already seen him in action in Days of Future Past, so we know he’s capable of saving everyone and absolutely will. That effectively eliminates all tension, because as the mansion explodes around him, it feels less like he’s running out of time and more like he’s moving along at a brisk pace. It feels like the explosion moves at his will, and we’re free to gawk at Pietro’s cocky antics once again.

Isn’t that what the X-Men movies are all about? An unapologetic embrace of how wacky and odd the comicverse is with a storytelling style to match? Danger feels far away, even the more serious plotlines like DoFP have this understanding that good always triumphs, the heroes are always good, and therefore the heroes will always triumph, no matter how great the adversity is. Jesus, even with Deadpool movies, you get this shit. I mean, remember the opening of Deadpool?

God, what a brilliant opening. This song is my go-to drunk karaoke song because of this, and I am a tenor. I didn’t say I cared about vocal matching.

Clearly, there’s a lot of violent shit going on here. And we know that Wade Wilson plays by his own rules in the comicverse, so it makes sense that he’d play by his own rules in his movies. But still, with all the filthy, uncensored danger in these movies it’s all lighthearted superhero wackiness. They always triumph, even though Wade Wilson is a total schmuck. But he’s a lovable schmuck, so we let that go. Wade always wins. That’s the superhero formula, as much as he makes fun of it.

Logan, though? Logan didn’t do that. With those two scenes in mind, I now implore you to watch the opening scene of Logan:

I... um. Holy shit. Directed by Martin Scorsese?? No, mans wouldn’t work on a Marvel movie if it made him a billionaire, that’s... just how it is. It feels like fucking whiplash. 

Logan isn’t necessarily a hero from this opening. We’re no stranger to the Wolverine berserker rage from past movies, but it’s always been directed righteously before. Now it had him carry out an execution because they damaged his car. He’s not heroic, he’s... old, and slow, and really hasn’t aged well. The tone here is brutal, and gritty, and altogether bleak. It feels more like a mob film than a wacky X-Men movie. I remember being in the cinema just slack-jawed and wide-eyed because what the FUCK

And it didn’t end there, because this film just got darker, and darker, and DARKER as it went on. Charles Xavier died a terrible death after a stint with dementia that completely broke him as the powerful psychic he was, Logan is broken from all the trauma of his life piled onto itself and then even more being shoved on top of that. Mutants are pretty much being hunted for sport, because the X-Men LOST. They LOST. It’s a superhero movie where the heroes lost, and that is the ultimate broken rule you can pull within this genre. Infinty War only teased at it, and boy howdy, did they do it badly. I walked out of Infinity War to a chorus of scoffed “yeah they’re not dead they’re a money-maker”s. I walked out of Logan a shell of a man.

It doesn’t end well, either. Logan doesn’t win. He gets the mutant children across the border, but there’s this sense that if the world is hunting mutants down then he’s only bought them a little more time. The violence is hauntingly realistic within the confines of the XCU, the hope that you’d expect from a big blockbuster superhero movie just isn’t there because Logan’s lost it, and maybe he was right to lose it. Because otherwise he’d be kidding himself.

I don’t wanna see Logan again because it made me too sad and hopeless. And I think that made it brilliant. I think that made Logan something great that was uniquely its own. This is a genre known for hope and resilience, and it gave us none of that. You go in expecting it subconsciously, even when you’ve seen the trailers, and you at least expect him to win, right? Logan’s not gonna lose, he’s Wolverine. Everything about this film is what I think the superhero genre could really use more of. I really like the wacky, out-there, scripted formulaic adventures because I get enough bullshit in real life and it’s nice to just have the fun misadventures of Peter Parker scaling the Washington Monument in Spider-Man: Homecoming sometimes. But those don’t really stick with me the way Logan did, even though I only saw it once when I was 18.

I love how Iron Man 3 explored and normalized PTSD in mainstream media. I love the father-son relationship between Peter and Tony: two characters who both lost father-figures, and one who never wanted to become his abusive father. I love how Thor: Ragnarok felt like a norse mythology fanfiction comedy adventure in space. I love how Black Panther gave an unrepresented group a hero who’s not just a lackey, but a powerful king worth like 200 trillion dollars who protects his people through a cultural tradition. But Logan really felt like it challenged every established convention of the superhero genre and pulled a “no, you move” on it. A lot of people cite The Dark Knight to be the most brilliant superhero movie, but in my opinion, that spot belongs to Logan.

I’d call it cinematic art, but Martin Scorsese might put me on his hit list.

[neuxue]

Who are some of your favorite villains?

Oh man, that is a question, anon. This is not a comprehensive list, because if I started listing every morally corrupt character who owns my soul, we’d be here all night. I’ve also taken a somewhat flexible definition of villainy at times, because…it’s complicated.

Also, spoilers for uh…most of the things listed; I’ve tried to keep it vague where possible, but the nature of villainous arcs means sometimes that doesn’t work. I’ve listed the work before the commentary, so if you don’t want spoilers for the thing, skip that section.

In no particular order…

Lord Asriel and Marisa Coulter (His Dark Materials): okay, so arguably they’re not villains, per se, but they each serve as antagonists at various points, they’re ambitious and proud beyond belief, and their morality is…well. Complicated. (Did I lose my mind at the ‘corruption and envy and lust for power. Cruelty and coldness. A vicious probing curiosity. Pure, poisonous toxic malice […] you are a cesspit of moral filth’ speech, from a corrupt angel to the one deceiving him? Abso-fucking-lutely. Also ‘I wanted you to come and join me. And I thought you would prefer a lie’). They’re also on this list because they were my Formative Villain Faves from the age of 7, which probably tells you something about who I was as a child and who I am as a person.

Nirai Kujen (Machineries of Empire). You really…could not write a villain more My Type if you tried. I’m not sure I could write a villain more My Type if I tried. Immortal, immoral mathematician who traded empathy for the ability to act on it, reconfigured a universe, and has lost most of his humanity but not his sense of beauty? I am but a simple woman. It helps that there is one hell of an enemies/allies/lovers dynamic going on between him and another character who is a different sort of my type, and it’s precisely my kind of Fucked Up Power Dynamics.

Moridin (Wheel of Time): ’Your logic destroyed you, didn’t it?’ I have a whole…thing about villains who see themselves as a kind of anti-Chosen One. I’ve written about it slightly more coherently elsewhere, but it comes down to a particular kind of despair and perception of inevitability, that they have no choice but to fight and that their role is always to lose, and that they will be cast and remembered as the monster, and so there is not reason not to be monstrous, but that doesn’t help with the self-hatred.

Semirhage (Wheel of Time): I could pick a lot of the Forsaken, and one or two other characters from WoT but I’ll stick to two here. Semirhage is all about pain without emotion, and I’m into it.

Malkar (Doctrine of Labyrinths): okay, he’s sort of in the category of scenery-chewing villain you love to hate, but I do love to hate him. And he causes so much delicious pain for the major characters; it’s almost like he’s running a charity service for those of us who like watching our favourite characters hurt.

Aaravos (The Dragon Prince): Listen. Listen. Trapped in a mirror, lost and alone and yet only letting that show in glimpses, possibly a Prometheus figure, graceful and beautiful and terrible, and that voice. Also the entire aesthetic. He is awful, and he is a delight, and he has that kind of cruelty that you can almost forget about - it’s as though he’s so into the villain aesthetic that you almost think it’s just an aesthetic, almost forget how capable he truly is of horrors, and so when he commits them it’s all the more thrilling.

Astrid & Athos Dane (Shades of Magic): The Dane twins deserved better. And by better I mean more screen time. They were criminally underused as villains and they had such potential. Vicious and cruel in a world where to be otherwise is to die, holding power by blood and pain, and chaining another …well, if not villain then certainly antagonist to their will, forcing him to serve the world he wants to save? Which brings us to…

Holland (Shades of Magic): Holland is…arguably not a villain but as an antagonist he is absolutely my type: powerful and ruthless and broken, and yet somehow still fighting; a character whose defining trait is his extraordinary will (and also self-hatred); a character who, literally in canon on the goddamn page, is told ‘no one suffers as beautifully as you’. (Plus he gets a redemption arc! That lets him remain complicated and doesn’t undermine his competence! And while it falls into redemption-equals-death, his death doesn’t come at the turning point in his arc the way it does for so many villains - he gets a whole road-trip first!)

Melisande Shahrizai (Kushiel): oh man. She’s such an interesting character, and the narrative does an excellent job of creating that link between her and Phedre - a really, really compelling and beautiful form of 'you know it’s a terrible idea but you can’t help yourself’. Also, she and Marisa Coulter should never be allowed to meet (by which I mean, I would read that fic). I’m also always here for a female villain who gets to be complicated, who has depth beyond just the typical 'femme fatale’ (though Melisande could certainly claim that title), and who is truly central to the story rather than there to look pretty.

Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender): For all that I love Zuko, he doesn’t belong on this list, flexible as my definition of 'villain’ here is. Azula, on the other hand…sharp and vicious and a void of anger and fear inside, and if she has to feel that, then the world should too.

Zhao (Avatar: The Last Airbender): It’s at least 85% the voice, and the other 15% is the way he looks at Zuko (I know, I know, I’m sorry).

Rhaegar (A Song of Ice and Fire): Rhaegar’s villainy is…complicated, but he gets a spot here anyway. I have a niche subtype that can be defined as Sad Harpists (Rhaegar, Maglor, Deth, Morgon, Asmodean), so that’s part of it, as is the way he sets that aside out of what he perceives as necessity. But also most of his draw is how he’s this shadow hanging over the entire narrative and yet is himself a void in it; we see so little of him, know so little of him in truth, catch only glimpses and will never know what’s behind them, and every character sees him differently, and he has defined all their lives but we know almost nothing of his. I’m all about identity and choices, and the fact that his are so thoroughly obfuscated but have such a lasting impact on the entire world really does it for me.

Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade): Does she count as a villain? I suppose it depends entirely on whose point of view you’re watching from, which is kind of the point. Regardless, she is so much of what I want from a character, from an author who doesn’t do things halfway. Intelligent and ambitious and utterly ruthless, to both herself and the world she wants to burn down around her.

Delilah Briarwood (Critical Role Campaign 1): any character whose cry of agony and despair takes the form of 'I broke the world for us!’ is a character I’m going to like.

The Lone Power (Young Wizards): mostly because the traditional greeting, upon encountering them, is ’fairest and fallen, greetings and defiance’, and I am a simple woman. But also because they’re the Lucifer figure, in all senses - evil, perhaps, but mostly a necessary embodiment of entropy, one who must exist and must struggle and must always lose, beautiful and bright and terrible, and oh so proud.

Judas (Christian Mythology): He betrayed a guy with a kiss. What more do you want from me?

Rin (the Poppy War): By the end, she makes a very compelling case for herself as a Villain Protagonist and I, for one, am into it. Also, 'genocidal’ gets tossed around a lot when villains are discussed, often without cause, so uh…points to Rin for actually deserving it? (This book is strongly in the category of Not For Everyone, but if it’s your thing…weaponising gods.)

Loki (Marvel franchise & Norse Mythology): so, I have a complicated relationship with 'trickster’ figures and characters, in that I like the idea of them, but tend only to actually enjoy the ones who fall on the darker side of that line they all dance around. Loki, in pretty much all his incarnations, fits that mould.

Achilles (Greek Mythology): Is Achilles a villain? Depends who you ask. But he’s powerful and proud and doomed, and knows it. I just…heroes who go out in a blaze of glory are all well and good, but villains who step up to the flames of their own damnation?

Ruin (Mistborn): It’s funny; I really enjoy a lot of Sanderson’s stories, but by and large he tends not to write my type of villain (which I will forgive him because he gave me Kelsier). But Ruin…starts off like just another godlike semicorporeal villain with absurd power, as you do, and then gets significantly more interesting – and tragic – when you learn the full story. I have a thing for villains who chose their villainy out of necessity (with a side helping of hubris) and become that which they most hated or feared. The ones who look at a razor’s edge and think 'I can walk that’. Who look at power that will consume them and think 'I can control it’. It’s a very specific kind of… arrogant sacrifice, I suppose, and it never ends well and I’m into it every time.

[hardlyfatal]

gary’s writing workshop: lesson 4: showing vs. telling

The main way a writer tells, rather than shows, is when they inform the reader that the narrator is experiencing an emotion or sensing something instead of describing it; or they describe it, but with mundane and bland words that communicate how the character feels without without any effective emotional impact.

Everything we perceive is sensed somehow; that’s how organisms acquire information. Our primary sense is vision, then hearing, then touch. Smell and taste are not so often the bearers of important information, but but when they are, they can have an enormous impact.

And most of the things we perceive spark an emotion of some sort. Humans are very binary creatures; we tend to define things as present vs. absent. If we like something, we want it all the time, and its presence feels good and its absence  feels bad. If we dislike something, we don’t want it, ever, and its presence makes us feel bad, and its absence good.

I know this seems elementary, but stick with me.

Within the umbrella terms of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are myriad terms you can use to elaborate. The awesomest thing about the English language that, since it’s basically half-a-dozen other languages stacked under a raincoat trying to pass themselves off as a single cohesive tongue, we have multiple vocabularies from which to pick an incredibly precise word or phrase in describing what we mean. Germanic, Latinate, Greek, even Norse-- all have contributed a fantastic array of adjectives and adjectival phrases so if exactly what we mean cannot be found in one, there’s a good chance we can find it in one of the others.

With this at our fingertips, why are people not punching up their narrative and bringing their stories to life, to make their prose spring into our mind’s eye? Why are so many stories delivered with so little hint to how things feel to the characters? Because writers simply haven’t been taught how.

The way to make an impact, to bring the reader along with the character, is to describe how the sense, and the emotion attached to it, manifests in the character.

This issue is another Battle of the Balance, because if you show every emotion instead of telling them, you’ll have an endless mess of a story describing people with each nerve ending a-quiver the entire time. That’s exhausting, and will drive away readers. Heck, you’ll drive yourself away – it’s just too laborious.

But by the same token, you need to bring the reader along with the characters as they bumble their way through life, seething with all the messy emotions and feelings inherent in simply existing. If you skimp on this, you will miss opportunities to connect the reader to the characters, to make the reader care about what happens. If you don’t use words that emotionally affect the reader, they’re left feeling like they’re reading a police report instead of a fictional narrative. We don’t want just the facts, ma’am. We want to experience it along with the characters.

So how do you achieve this balance? It’s very situation-dependent.

When to do it:

You have to train yourself to understand and see when a moment – not necessarily an entire scene – will be an emotional one. Just walking into a room isn’t emotional… unless the room is particularly shabby or grand in a way that evokes emotion in the character, or perhaps someone inside the room is a pleasant (or unpleasant) surprise to them. Discoveries, which are often plot points and thus important, are moments that might elicit emotion in the narrative character, and thus could benefit from some showing.

I’m sure you know this already, and take care to include descriptions where pertinent and needed. But are you showing these moments, or are you telling them?

When you describe how something looks, don’t just say it’s lovely; how is it lovely?

From Desperado, the moment Brienne sees Jaime through the jailhouse window:

Then a face appeared on the other side of the glass, and Brienne reeled back with a little scream before she recognized it: those piercing green eyes, that granite-hewn jaw, those sculpted lips, the busted nose that kept him handsome instead of edging into prettiness…

And when Brienne looks at him, does she just flatly recognize he’s handsome, or does his handsomeness elicit some emotional or physical reaction in her?

Brienne took another step back; it was unsafe to be too close to him, for reasons of propriety and sanity and possibly a few other things she hadn’t words for.

“Don’t go,” he said, barely audible through the glass. “Stay and talk to me. It’s so dull in here.”

And then he smiled at her, and Brienne’s heart seized in her chest.

What is shown by the second snippet’s content is particularly important to the purpose of our discussion today. When people are emotional, whether in a positive or negative way, they experience physiological changes. Angry people often narrow their eyes and clench their fists; nervous people might have restless energy or dry mouths and throats.

When an emotionally-fraught moment comes up in your story – indeed, every time a character feels an emotion – go through the five senses. What physical sensation does the emotion cause in their body? What does it look like outwardly? How does it sound and feel? Sometimes even taste and smell can come into it, depending on the emotion.

Here’s the main thing to remember: to show instead of tell, you need to keep a baseline awareness of senses and sensory input going at all times. Whenever a character feels something, think about the situation. Will showing bring a visceral understanding of the moment to the reader? Or will it bog down the narrative because it’s just not that important?

How to do it:

1. Word choice. Have your thesaurus (or thesaurus.com) handy at all times, and instead of the mundane word or phrase you might have chosen, pick a synonym that means basically the same thing, but evokes more of a sensory experience or gives more of a hint of what the person is thinking. In the passage below, where I’ve punched up basically the same thing with more evocative language, I’ve indented instances.

Note: sometimes this means replacing a single word with a phrase, instead. But this not only results in a higher word count – usually a good thing – but often in more elaborate syntax and punctuation, so make sure your line editing/betaing is on point when you do it, to avoid errors. If you have an uncertain grasp of grammar and punctuation, and you don’t have access to a good editor, maybe just stick to straight substitution, word-for-word, instead of expanding from the single adjective to an adjectival phrase, etc.

2. Formatting. With punctuation, emphasis (italics, etc.), paragraph breaks, and pauses, the way you present the words can punch up the emotion and show what’s happening, rather than merely telling. This can be especially effective in dialogue, to indicate pauses as the speaker gathers their thoughts, or stumbles over their words, stammers with nervousness, pauses for impact.

3. Elaboration. Don’t be so concise all the time! Expand on concepts, pinpoint what it is about a situation that’s making the character feel as they do. Give us motivation, contemplation, snippets of history that lead the person to choices and actions and things they say.

Example

Below are two versions of the scene from Desperado where Brienne saves Jaime from hanging by marrying him. It’s not the entire scene, just the pivotal moment where she announces her intention to marry one of the men. The first version is what I published, a version that ‘shows’ what’s happening for peak effectiveness. In the second version, I revised it to ‘tell’ instead.

Note how, in the ‘showing’ version, the word choices make it more visceral, the elaboration spends more time on the emotions Brienne is feeling as well as providing insight to her personality and values and even providing a bit of her history, and the formatting enhances the knowledge that she’s agitated and nervous and struggling.

Original ‘Showing’ Version (word count: 860)

It was time. She had to speak.

It was time.

Now, Brienne.

Now. Now!

“N-no!” she made herself shout. “I invoke the rule of court that commutes a man’s sentence if a woman marries him.”

Judge Baelish’s face contorted in frustration. “What rule of court is this?” he demanded.

Sickeningly aware that the eye of every person in the room was on her, easily hearing the excited whispers coming from all around, Brienne strode forward. She shouldered aside the crowd and thrust the paper in the judge’s face. Baelish snatched it from her hand, his pale eyes darting over it, and a slow flush started at his collar, spreading upward until his entire face was an angry red.

“If you want to see the law book, I’m sure we can… find it and bring it to you,” Brienne told him.

She looked back over the crowd for Sam Tarly. He was there, halfway to the back, bouncing on tiptoes to see over taller persons in front of him, and when he heard her, he waved his arms and shouted, “Yes! I’ve got it!”

“Bring it,” Judge Baelish commanded.

Sam bustled forward and held it out; Sheriff Clegane took it and slapped it onto the judge’s outstretched palm. Baelish opened it to where a slip of paper marked the page, and ran a fingertip down the page until he found the pertinent section. His eyes narrowed as he read, more and more until they were hardly open at all.

Then he lifted his head and shut the book in quick, jerky movements before handing it back to Clegane. Sam took the book back and receded into the crowd.

“Very well. Miss—” he began, his voice glacial.

“Tarth. Brienne Tarth.”

“—Miss Tarth, which of these gentlemen will be your new husband?”

Brienne’s breath sawed in and out of her chest, her lungs heaving so hard they ached. How could she do this?

She thought of who would be left behind, devastated, vulnerable, if he died. Their suffering would be on her conscience for the rest of her life.

How could she not?

She croaked a name, but it was incomprehensible. She licked her lips, swallowed. It didn’t help. She sucked in more air and tried again, louder.

“Jaime Lannister.”

The man in question had hung his head when convicted, not expecting anything but a march to the noose, the very image of dejection. His head snapped up, now, and the dead expression faded from his eyes, replaced by a wild hope. Brienne could only meet his gaze for a second before she flinched away from the force of it.

Behind her, the ballroom had gone absolutely silent for a few seconds that felt like hours. Then, in a rush, everyone started speaking at once. Brienne was sure she could hear Sansa’s voice exclaiming her name.

“I’m sorry,” she said to Jon, her eyes filling with tears. She was the worst friend in the world, the worst person, a liar and a schemer. She didn’t deserve his comprehension, or his forgiveness, but she couldn’t keep from speaking, from trying, anyway. “I’m so sorry, Jon. But his children… they don’t have anyone else. They don’t have anyone. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

His eyes were wide, shocked. There had been confusion on his face at first, but it settled into resignation and a sort of exhausted acceptance.

“I understand,” he said wearily. “I don’t blame you.”

Sheriff Clegane unlocked Jaime’s handcuffs. Jaime rubbed his wrists almost absently; his focus was on Brienne, his sharp green eyes not moving from her for a second. She felt profoundly uncomfortable to be the recipient of such attention, but she couldn’t look away, and she couldn’t stop crying.

“Dry your tears, Miss Tarth,” said the judge in his oily tone. “It’s your wedding day.”

Brienne clamped her eyes shut and took a few deep breaths, reaching inward for the fortitude which had gotten her through losing her mother and Galladon, which had kept her going when they’d had that bad year a while back and thought they’d have to sell the ranch. She had lived through all of that. She’d live through this, too.

When she opened her eyes, they were dry. Her face was hot, and she knew she was still flushed from crying and likely uglier than she’d ever been in her life. It felt like she should be even more ugly, now, her act of treachery in choosing Jaime instead of Jon showing as a physical mark, a scarlet letter like in that book she’d once read, branded on her cheek to warn others away from her perfidy.

“I’m ready,” she said, her voice flat. An unnatural calm had fallen over her. She’d made her choice; now she had to live with it. A brush against her sleeve alerted her that her betrothed had stepped up beside her. She glanced at him, noting that he was very nearly her match in height. That was something, she supposed.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Later,” she said. “Let’s… just get this over with.”

He blinked, then nodded. Brienne turned to face forward.

And married him.

Revised ‘Telling’ Version (word count: 550)

Brienne was scared and hesitant to speak, but she made herself do it.

“No!” she shouted. “I invoke the rule of court that commutes a man’s sentence if a woman marries him.”

Judge Baelish looked angry. “What rule of court is this?” he demanded.

Knowing that the eye of every person in the room was on her, hearing the whispers coming from all around, Brienne pushed through the crowd and handed the paper to the judge. Baelish looked it over and turned red in fury.

“If you want to see the law book, I’m sure we can find it and bring it to you,” Brienne told him.

She looked back over the crowd for Sam Tarly. When he heard her, he waved his arms and shouted, “Yes! I’ve got it!”

“Bring it,” Judge Baelish commanded.

Sam came forward and held it out; Sheriff Clegane took it and gave it to the judge. Baelish opened it to where a slip of paper marked the page, reading the pertinent section with narrowed eyes.

Then he slammed the book shut and handed it back to Clegane. Sam took the book and stepped back.

“Very well. Miss—” he began in a cold tone.

“Tarth. Brienne Tarth.”

“—Miss Tarth, which of these gentlemen will be your new husband?”

Brienne felt like she couldn’t breathe. How could she do this?

She thought of who would be left behind if he died. Their suffering would be on her conscience for the rest of her life.

How could she not?

She said a name, but it was incomprehensible. She took a deep breath and tried again.

“Jaime Lannister.”

The man in question had hung his head when convicted, not expecting anything but execution. His head came up, now, and he looked very hopeful. Brienne could only manage to look at him for a moment.

Behind her, the ballroom had gone quiet. Then everyone started speaking at once. Brienne was sure she could hear Sansa’s voice calling her name.

“I’m sorry,” she said to Jon, starting to cry. She felt like a terrible person. She didn’t deserve anything from him but she tried anyway. “I’m so sorry, Jon. But his children don’t have anyone else. I’m sorry.”

He looked shocked. There had been confusion on his face at first, but then it turned to tired acceptance.

“I understand,” he said, seeming tired. “I don’t blame you.”

Sheriff Clegane unlocked Jaime’s handcuffs. Jaime rubbed his wrists while staring at Brienne. She felt strange to have him watch her like that, but she couldn’t look away, and she couldn’t stop crying.

“Dry your tears, Miss Tarth,” said the judge. “It’s your wedding day.”

Brienne closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady herself. She’d been through a lot in the past few years. She’d live through this, too.

She soon opened her eyes again.

“I’m ready,” she said calmly. She’d made her choice; now she had to live with it. Jaime came to stand at her side and she noticed they were almost the same height. At least they had that in common.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Later,” she said. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He nodded, and Brienne turned to face forward.

And married him.

Homework

Take the most emotional moment you’ve ever written and evaluate it for showing vs. telling. Do a side-by-side revision of it, as I did above, marking either where you’ve done well in showing or where you’ve done poorly by telling. Where you’ve done poorly by telling, revise what you have to improve it according to the three methods: better word choice, formatting, and elaboration.

© 2019 to me

[princesssarcastia]

apparently I'm in a Thor kind of mood tonight

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Thor’s hammer.  This news about “Love and Thunder,” while awesome dear god please give me more Jane foster content, doesn’t...really make sense in-universe for a lot of meta reasons I'm sure marvel will hand wave away. 

but then I started applying those meta reasons to dark world; specifically, that scene where Thor and Loki!odin discuss Thor’s future.  

Now, I tend to operate under the assumption that mjolnir’s concept of “worthiness” is just odin’s concept of worthiness in a new hat.  Odin put the spell on it in Thor, so it must be his specifications that decide who gets to pick it up and who doesn't. 

there was a post floating around recently about why Thor and Steve rogers could wield mjolnir but Peter Parker never could, and about how that doesn’t mean peter’s a bad or less-good person than the wonder twins, but instead means that ancient norse concepts of greatness and strength of character are not universal.  

there are different types of greatness. 

so uh.  here a Thing I got from thinking about all this. 

                                                               —

“I’d rather be a good man, than a great King,” Thor says, and feels Mjolnir’s leather grip slip through his fingers.

Something like panic floods into his chest as he looks to where his hammer has decided to fall; he misses seeing a similar flood of panic flash across Odin’s face from his place on the throne. 

“I—what? I don’t understand,” Thor nearly stammers out.  How could he be unworthy, when he’s just now starting down the path to become a better man?

Odin, having gathered himself, considers Thor for a moment.  “Do you remember my words during your coronation?”  He leverages to his feet with Gungnir.  “Mjolnir is a great weapon, unparalleled in it’s destructive and restorative capabilities.

It is a fit companion for a King, Thor.  From your words here today I understand that is a mantle you no longer wish to undertake.”

Thor feels speechless, unmoored.  Without Mjolnir to anchor himself it feels as though he might float away off the edge of Asgard like the dead.  “I...” he starts, but cannot finish.

If I take it back, he wonders, would I be able to lift it?  He looks down again, and opens his hand to call mjolnir to his side—

“I cannot help but wonder just how much your time with this mortal woman has changed you, that you would shirk your birthright so.”

—but how can he take it back? “Nay, father.  I did not come before you today to speak her words, only my own.”  Thor clenches his fist and meets his father’s gaze.  “No, you could forbid me to see her, or say she can rule by my side, but it would change nothing I’ve said here today.”

Odin nearly pins him to the floor with his eye.  “One son who wanted the throne too much, another who will not take it.  Is this to be my legacy?” His voice heightens, filling the entire throne room.  “The end of a line stretching back before the cosmos took it’s first breath?”

“One son who died honorably to save those very same cosmos, and another who will live to do the same, is no paltry offering!” Thor answers in kind, his own voice nearly booming.  

“But not as King.”

He draws in a breath.  “No.”  

“Then here Mjolnir shall remain, until another worthy of it steps forward to take on the mantle you have abandoned.”

Thor hesitates for a moment, looking at Odin almost desperately.  For so long, his father served as an example for his own conduct, as a mold to fill; veering so far from that path so quickly is...terrifying. 

But in his father’s eyes he sees something like acceptance, if not the blessing he secretly, foolishly, hoped for.  So he bows as is befit his new title-less station, and leaves Mjolnir behind.  

A good man, Thor thinks.  I want to be a good man. 

(After, Odin takes slow steps to close the distance between his throne and mjolnir.  He, too, reaches out a hand, as if to call the hammer to his side.

         He, too, clenches his fist without attempting it, fearing the answer.)

[jq37]

oh my GOD the new ep!!!! like!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH happened but then also the preview for the next ep looks SO GOOD

**spoilers for first kisses and last words**

Hoo boy this was, as I predicted, a BIG one. Not that I needed to be an oracle to figure that out since there’s only a few eps left but man did it deliver.

I still think that Cool Kids, Cold Case had the most off the wall nonsense happening in the shortest period of time but this ep I think was overall the most consistently wild ep.

So let’s take it from the top.

I think I forgot to mention it before but Adaine’s, “I go into a rage,” hardcore cracked me up.

“I have hold person.”/”I stuff a sock in her mouth.” Insult to injury Adaine. 

The entire group dunking on Aelwen, forgetting that Riz is literally bleeding out, half dead.

“sausage festival” 

Adaine really was dead serious about her snitching threat huh?

Ally miming a boom mic.

I love how everyone including Siobhan mess up Aelwen’s name or mix it up with Adaine’s half the time.

And speaking of, wow. What a rise and fall for her in 3 eps (and about an hour in game time). She’s queen of the nerds. She’s not even cool at her own school. And terrified of whoever she made whatever shady deal with. I know she literally tried to kill the whole party last ep and that she’s the worst but I almost feel for her.

Almost.

“This is not on you. This is on the world within which you inhabit.”

I love Adaine’s semi-indigent, “We’re not going to kill you,” because Alwen was 100% ready to murder them which, side note, imagine how much on an international incident that would have been.

Lol at the group tag team bullying Aelwen about going to Mumple and Adaine using her magic jacket for super petty BS.

“Hey mom!”/”GodDAMMIT honey.”

The parent/kid relationships are so good in this show.

Everyone but Kristen parkouring off the roof when Sklonda specifically set up a ladder. 

“The put a girl in a palimpsest,” followed immediately by, “She went to a party,” as if those are on the same level.

Sklonda Gukgak DUNKING Aelwen into the squad car with a technical assist from Adaine. I knew she was gonna be my fave parent from her intro scene and I love her even more than I thought.

“With all due respect, (A/N: Which is none), suck my dick, fuck you.”

“She tried to murder me.”/”BE THAT AS IT IS.”

“Eh, you carry a gun.”

“No one who’s detecting maidens is a maiden.”

I feel like I’m quoting a lot today but there were so many money lines this episode. 

Everyone always loses it when Brennan starts doing the Identify spell voice and I love it. 

Adaine’s dad is T R A S H

Adaine’s mom on the other hand…I’ve been wondering about her for a little while because usually the outright emotional abuse has been from her dad while her mom is either not there or not saying anything. So I’ve been wondering was her deal is and we finally got the start of an answer. I know we only have a few eps left but I hope we go a little deeper into what exactly is going on there. It seems like Adaine’s parents are gonna be a big factor in whatever endgame is planned so fingers crossed,

Everyone cracking up as Emily backs Fig into a corner talking to Penelope. 

I love Gorgug so freaking much. Just his good natured, lumbering self. EVery time Zac opens his mouth gold falls out. 

Emily MAXED out her deception huh?

I think Siobhan must have forgotten that she took the crystal with Ostentasia away from Aelwen at the end of last ep. Either that or they willingly gave it to the cops and I forgot (but I think it’s the former because she said in this ep that it was in Aelwen’s pocket when at the end of the last ep she def took it).

My autocorrect keeps wanting me to type Ellen for Aelwen. I WISH.

I knew it! He’s a PIRATE. Suck it Fabian. (lol at Adaine stirring the pot. That was like Adaine being sincerely polite and Siobhan trying to cause problems and I love mixed motive player/character decisions). 

I wonder if the banker is named after John Hughes. 

I can’t believe the dumb bank is actually a huge plot point.

Yikes, re: Bill and Fabian. That got tense. Though I’ve kinda been waiting for some kind of blowout for a while. His dad runs very hot and cold and I figured it would only be a matter of time before we saw some of the cold.

Also, Lou breaking character in the middle of that very intense moment to clarify a plot point. 

Sidenote: For a hot sec after reading the title of the ep and remembering how Sklonda is competent to the point of (probably) breaking the original plot, I was so concerned she was gonna eat it this ep. So glad she didn’t.

Anyway, the idea of swinging sadly on a rope is so freaking funny.

Fig: Can I offer you a sad song in this trying time?

Huge portrait of Bill Seacaster in Fabian’s room. 

Adaine is gonna bring up him kissing her sister very time she needs to get out of something w/ Fabian for the rest of her immortal life. 

Another sidenote: This is a little thing but I always think it’s interesting when fantasy worlds have the same months and days as us when they’re named after like Norse Gods and Roman statesmen that wouldn’t exist in their world. Same with Roman numerals and Irish coffee. 

“Am I allowed to smoke in here?”/”Of course.”

I really like the character detail that Adaine is always really polite to everyone, including/especially people like Fabian’s maid and Basrar. People that she wouldn’t necessarily “have to” be polite to, you know? It’s like she’s trying to make up for the fact that her family is a bag of dicks. 

“Fantasy Google”

The whole bit with Fabian’s porn stash was so good. This group is so good w/ yes-adning each other.

“Privateer me a new one.” Emily is so good.

“Special investment” Suspicious  

I was thinking “I can’t believe looking at a bank’s FAQs is part of this game,” right as Brennan said it.

So I went back and watched Siobhan’s face from when Emily first mentioned Kal Vaxis to when she got the connection to KVX and it took her 22 seconds. I also missed the quick cut to Brennan when Gorgug asks, “What is Kal Vaxis,” and you can tell he knows they’re so close to breaking it with the little grin on his face. I wish we had gotten a reaction shot right after she got it. Anyway, great team solve w/ the MVP trophy to Siobhan/Adaine. 

I loved when Zac, Emily, and Siobhan all whipped out their laminated maps in tandem to figure out what was happening. 

The hard mood change from Adaine dropping the bomb about Riz’s dad and to forming a committee to help Gorgug flirt with Zelda was wild.

Kristen telling anyone to be suave is hysterical. 

What a DISASTER of a committee Gorgug’s friends are. Well meaning but so trash

Fig: Tell her you got a SICK tattoo

Adaine: Bring her to see art in the middle of the night

Fabian: You cannot date this person (Kristen: You absolutely have to)

Kristen: Actually not garbage advice but she is in no position to be giving dating advice to anyone 

Riz: Having a literal existential crisis 

“Who else is he gonna date?” WOW, savage Adaine.

I meant to say this before but I love how Adaine’s go-to is immediately ice cream and she’s always on board to go to Basrar’s. Like how when she texted everyone 2 eps ago she was like, “Let’s get ice cream now.”

Mmm, don’t love that Gorthalax isn’t answering his phone. I have been waiting for a significant adult to die for a while now.

OK, look, the whole thing about Penelope and Dayne being eternal prom king/queen. Is it wild? Yes. Is it implausible? No. No it’s not. Even Murph, most veteran player, was kind of like, “Wait, does that make sense?” Because, in this setting, it kind of would? I’m not sure it fits within the story so far and I’d have to go back and listen to the more lore-y stuff again but the conceit itself is like the exact right amount of crazy to fit in this setting? And they never cut to Brennan like I wanted so I could judge his face for any kind of tell. But anyway, you guys know I’ve been predicting a prom finale and this would fit right into a prom finale. 

The girls giving Gorgug a pep talk before his date was ADORABLE. 

Gorgug having to check his phone to remember three words, “You look nice.”

“Your friends are popular and loud” True

Zelda’s a BARBARIAN! She’s a MEGA BARBARIAN! 

I know they mean ecstasy like intense emotion but I kept thinking, like, molly.

Hmm, so Penelope wanted to know if Zelda had hooked up w/ Gorgug, ie: if she was a maiden. Can they only palimpsest maidens? Or (as we will get to later) does nice guy Biz only want virginal maidens for his creepy reverse Weird Science arcade setup?

Zelda listing off every type of metal and then Gorgug’s, “Same stuff,” was perfect comic timing on Zac’s part.

Imagine the Hangman screaming down the road on fire, Zelda completely terrified. 

I love the Hangman so freaking much.

“DO NOT GIVE TREATS TO MY MOTORCYCLE.”

I can’t believe everyone is living at the freaking crappy apartments. I knew they were all gonna end up hanging at one persons’ house but I kinda figured it would be Fabian’s house or Gorgug’s house. 

I”m also concerned about Bill. I feel like we keep getting reminded that he’s mortal a LOT.

Did Gorgug’s parents have indoor fireworks on tap for Gorgug’s first date?

Oh my God the whole docking conversation. Never play chicken with Brennan because the dude will not blink.

“We didn’t do that.” That’s his other best comic timing moment of the ep.

“Polishing my axe”

Kristen this episode 

I really wish they’d made the roll to find Ragh later in the ep. Fig is so ride or die for Gilear now and I love it.

“I fall asleep.”

Adaine almost making her parents dunk on Gilear but then pulling back.

But also, Adaine and Gilear going off the the oracle together.

“Fig pack it in.”

Affirmations with Fig and Gilear.

Fig, do you really think platonically cuddling with Kristen is the move?

Riz setting himself up for a dramatic entrance is so fantastic.

Hmm, so Biz and Zayne were attacked at the same time. That’s why that cold pill detail was in there way back. I’ve been trying to figure out what was always planned and what was quick re-working but Brennan is so good I can never really tell.

Are multiple unrelated groups just getting into palimpsests at the same time? Or mostly unrelated groups tied to one person?

“We are not gonna get our security deposit back.”

RIZ’S DAD IS JAMES BOND! YES! I didn’t know I wanted that to be the case until it happened and now that’s the only acceptable option. 

Riz didn’t get the 20′s he needed when fighting Aelwen but man he got it at the best story moment this week.

Oh man that home movie

The pearl is grey. Interesting. 

“Mom our family is so awesome Mom we’re all so badass, I thought it was just us but Dad is awesome too, why didn’t you tell me Mom?”

Sklonda: Internally screaming. 

Man he went full Inigo Montoya.

“I’ve got nimble escape so…”

“I guess we have a two bedroom,” I think was a really underrated funny line.

Did Riz ever tell his mom about the time of death thing.

Everyone inundating Gilear with overlapping chatter.

lol the Hangman likes Zelda’s family

Ally’s panicked, “FUCK” is always hilarious. 

Why are all the adults in Gorgug’s life trying to get him laid?

OK so the elementals were conjured by Aelwn’s magic Brennan said. He said by Aelwen’s magic, not by Aelwen. I wonder if that turn of phrase was specific or arbitrary. Like, we were told where Aelwen is but we don’t know. Was she forced to do it (either by threat or by magic)? Clearly someone (Biz?) is pulling her strings to at least some degree. 

“It’s probably about marriage.” “WAR HAS BEEN DECLARED.”

That happened fast

Fun fact from my International Law class: When a government kidnaps someone, it’s called rendition. 

“There’s a war, fuck school.”

Yeah it is wild that Adaine’s parents didn’t call her.

OK so did the Elves get Aelwen back but also go, “But you still need to go to jail.” Because they cut Brennan off before the end of that sentence which might have had more clues in it.

“I text my mom k”

I also wanna know who gave Kristen a slushy marg (It’s war times. I bet things are looser now)

Murph’s face when Brennan said, “Lucky Stones” was so good. That was so Riz.

S/O to Ally for pre-casting Guardian of Faith. Good instinct. 

AHHHHHH BIZ

As I said in an earlier conversation s/o to Adaine for DUNKING on him at every opportunity because he DESERVED IT. Also, her instincts for who sucks in this game have been spot on.

Another s/o to Riz for having the presence of mind to not pull a Star Lord and to pretend to be on the bad dude’s side for long enough to gain some kind of upper hand.

OK, wow was not expecting that twist. I feel like I need to go back and rewatch some stuff to get a better handle of the timeline and stuff. Like, when exactly did the girls start going missing again? And what year is Biz? Has he been masterminding this whole thing? I feel like no but I feel like he’s masterminding his own thing which happens to a puzzle piece in something bigger? BUT IT’S A PRETTY DAMN BIG PIECE. Who opened the new arcade? Is it connected to the bank?  How did Biz get involved? Who’s his supplier? Did someone hook up Biz, Daybreak, Penelope, and Aelwen with Palimpsests to do their own separate things, hoping that at least one of them would succeed which would somehow be good for the mystery person? I am so excited to find out and I really hope Brennan and the cast do a Q+A sesh after S1 is over to hash some stuff out.

Siobhan’s face when Biz said he was going after Adaine.

ALSO, you’re just gonna TELL RIZ and you wanna PUT ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS into a MAGIC CRYSTAL???? AND YOU THOUGHT HE’D BE ON BOARD? Like, even if he was, what about the 4 other people who are there?????

(sidenote, wild Gorgug’s parents just left them alone, no questions asked)

Theme-wise, this is the fight ep I’m most excited for. It seems rad as hell.

All that yelling in the promo for next week. Either the raddest thing possible happened or there was a TPK. There is no other option.

Wow, that was a stellar ep and this is a really long post. I really can’t wait for next week’s!

Edit: I meant to say before, is Penelope’s FB album like…a hit list? Like does whoever’s doing the actual dirty work (Biz? S/o else?) know that whoever she takes a picture with is who they should target?

[centuryofdean]

Of Food and Comfort - Part 4

Warnings:: Language and Violence

Warning Disclaimer:: I really want to emphasize the warning above. Violence. It may not seem very much, but the whole chapter revolves around an act of violence and I don’t want to trigger anyone, or upset anyone. Without revealing the entire chapter, I will say it is domestic in nature. So that being said, please do not read this chapter if it potentially could upset you. 

I have reread and rewritten this chapter a lot to try and make it and minimal as possible, but still relevant to the overall plot of the story. You don’t have to read this chapter, but it will ease confusion if you don’t skip it.

Author Disclaimer:: Marvel and its characters are not mine. I take no credit. Instead I claim the maybe not so great plot, writing and characteristics of the reader insert character. I am not a die hard Marvel fan, I haven’t read all the comics, but have watched the movies. I may get some things wrong, so please don’t hate me. I also have been incorporating Old Norse as terms of endearment.

Summary:: You worked for Tony Stark as a…mechanic of sorts. Anything around the Avengers compound that needed a technicians touch, you handled. With working and living there, you had grown to be friendly with the super heroes. Of course you had grown to have feelings for one of them. The muscled Thunder God to be exact.

Rated:: M for Mature. Please do not read this story unless you are 18+. At this point in the story there isn’t much, but later on the M rating will come into effect.

Pairing:: Thor x Reader

“Miss Y/N, you have a visitor at your door,” FRIDAY’s voice rang into your ears. At first it was quiet, but what woke you was the soft knocking. Liam’s arms wrapped tighter around you as you squirmed to get out of bed.

“I’ll be right back, go back to sleep. It’s probably Tony wanting my help with something,” you murmured after pulling the covers back over him. The response you received was a snore.

Padding to the door, you opened it a crack to find Thor standing in his cape and armor, Mjölnir, in his hand. There were a few rare occasions that you would see him in his Asgardian battle gear, but it was always from a distance as he was walking around the base or when he got back from a mission. You never saw him this up close and personal in it. Just as you remembered seeing, it was almost divine. Every piece was sculpted to fit him perfectly. His longer blond locks were tangled and pulled up half behind his head like normal but oddly intimidating in the moment.

You spared a quick glance to Liam before stepping out into the hall. “It’s kinda late to come a-knocking big guy,” you yawned. “What’s up?”

The looks that crossed his face was very confusing. At first, he looked a little surprised, eyes widening. You glanced down at what you were wearing. It just so happened to be Liam’s long Henley shirt, and it covered halfway down your thighs and the short shorts you were wearing underneath. This was probably the most skin you have ever shown around him. Embarrassed, you folded your arms across your chest and looked around him to see if anyone else would catch you barely dressed.

“You mentioned that you were unhappy not knowing when I left. I am called back to Asgard, I was just about to leave,” he said softly.

The ache in your heart was strong, overriding your embarrassment. Already? He just got back a few weeks ago after being gone for three months. When would you see him again? Would he come back soon? Would he miss Christmas? You really wanted him to be back for Christmas.

“Oh,” you whispered softly, “okay—”

“Would you like to come? I promised that you could come with.”

Without thinking on it, you grasped his hand and sighed. “I would love to Thor, really, but Liam is here. I can’t just up and leave him here in the middle of the night. It would be incredibly rude since I invited him to stay with me,” you stated.

A darkness overtook his eyes and he gently took his hand from your own, “I understand.”

“Will you be back for Christmas,” you asked earnestly, almost ashamed of making him upset. “It’s in two weeks, on a Sunday. You have to come back for your presents.”

He seemed to think on his response for a moment. “I should be able to,” he murmured, “for the presents.”

That brought a smile to your lips. “I promise to make lots of food too, and cookies.”

Thor leaned forward and captured you in his arms quickly, squeezing for a moment before releasing you suddenly. “Be careful big guy,” you whispered. “Come back for Christmas, I’ll miss you.”

His eye lids fluttered close for a fraction of a second before the edges of his lips twerked up.

Just like that he was gone, leaving you standing at your bedroom door at a loss, warmth leaving you with his touch. Silently you turned back to your room and closed the door softly, as to not wake Liam. The room was dark and quiet, but you stood there waiting, watching for the lightning to illuminate the sky. In moments it happened, the sound of thunder filling your ears just before the sky woke with a blaze. This brought light to your room to see that Liam was up and sitting on the bed.

You walked over there slowly to put your hands on his shoulders. “Sorry if I woke you up,” you whispered.

“You didn’t,” he grumbled, “that asshole did.”

This comment brought you up short. “He was just saying goodbye, he was going home for a while,” you murmured out while pulling away to stand before him.

He rose quickly, “Good riddance. He can stay there.”

“Come on Liam,” you muttered backing away quickly, “we are just friends. Thor isn’t interested in me like that.”

Liam quickly approached you, backing you into a corner and caught off guard. “You don’t see things like everyone else. I have seen how he talks to you, looks at you, how he touches you. It’s pretty slutty to be so comfortable with other guys like that,” he whispered steadily.

Your heart pounded in your chest. You weren’t being slutty…were you? It wasn’t like you hung off Thor like a bimbo, touching him at every chance you got flirting up a storm. The most he ever touched you was on the shoulder, wrist, elbow—sometimes he touched the small of your back—but that wasn’t slutty. It was an act of comfort. No, it wasn’t possible, you being slutty? Not to mention there was no way Thor could even feel anything for you other than someone to be friendly with. Not when he was a God and could choose any woman he wanted.

What if you were the woman he wanted?

“You’re full of shit,” you sputtered, “stop being a jerk Liam.”

“He wanted you to go with him Y/N! How can I be happy about that,” Liam yelled.

“It’s a trip to Asguard Liam! Not an invitation to bed! Besides, I didn’t go,” you screamed back. “I stayed! To be with you!”

Liam’s hands tore through his hair, looking almost as if a mad man. “And if I weren’t here? You would have gone with him without saying a word to me at all?”

Before you even had a chance to think about it, to deny the statement, he rounded in on you again so close you were afraid to breathe.

“My friend John said he saw you at the mall with Thor today,” he whispered, “you told me it was a girl’s day with Wanda. You lied to me about being with him.”

“It wasn’t like that! Wanda cancelled on me, Thor just invited himself when I was walking out the door,” you huffed back in his face. Now all the screaming and jealousy was making anger in your bones instead of fear. Who was he to call you a slutty liar in your own house? Who was Liam to try and tell you who you could be friends with?

Without another word, you marched to the door and swung it open, pointing to the hallway. “I think you need to leave,” you spoke levelly. “You have outstayed your welcome and I am done.”

Liam grabbed his sweater, pulling it on over his bare chest and stomping towards you and the door. Just as you were expecting him to go through it, his arm swung up and pain radiated off your face. It took a couple seconds, between cursing and holding your cheek to see his clenched fist at his side. The pain traced from your cheek to your eye.

He just hit you, and you couldn’t believe it.

“You son of a bitch,” you yelled in outrage before raising your own fist to swipe at his face. He wasn’t expecting your retaliation, because your punch was solid across his nose. The cartilage broke beneath your knuckles, giving you a sense of triumph along with the hot heat of pain in your own knuckles.

More blinding pain across your other cheek and eye. This blow tossed you back on your ass in the hallway. Just as you were trying to get to your feet with tears streaming down your cheeks, Steve and Sam were in your doorway with their hands on each of Liam’s arms.

“This fucker just raised his fists to Y/N her own room,” Steve hollered across the sudden blaring of noise.

You watched in almost awe as Sam and Steve wrestled Liam down the hall. Natasha was pulling you to your feet, holding onto your elbow as you followed. Clint was just coming out of his room, eyes bleary and tired as he yawned. “What’s all the hub bub? Did I just hear Steve say fucker?”

“Cap just caught dip-shit hitting Y/N,” Natasha sighed from behind you.

Clint’s eyes widened, taking off down the hall to catch up to Steve, Sam and Liam.

“Oh, please guardian angel guy, do not tell your Prince what happened,” Tony prayed just to your left. What on Earth was he talking about? Before you could even ask, Natasha was dragging you to the wall made of glass at the end of the hall. Down in the dirt and rain, Sam and Steve were taking turns hitting Liam.

No, Steve wasn’t the type to have someone hold while he punched. He let the other guy have a fighting chance. Every time Liam threw a punch, Steve blocked it and clocked him across the face. Just as Liam would pull himself up to his feet, Sam would step in and repeat the process. You watched with blurry tear-filled eyes as the man you had invested yourself in, fought with your friends.

He punched you in the face, twice. Thor would have never raised a hand to you, no matter how angry he was.

“If he comes back, you better hope Liam is nowhere to be found,” Tony muttered. “I have connections with the local PD, but I can’t get them to look the other way on murder.”

Natasha groaned, “Ugh, you’re right. Here, clean her up while I go break it up.”

Just like that she was gone.

You were still trying to comprehend what had happened.

Thor came in the middle of the night, to your room to tell you good-bye. Liam was furious about it all. He made it out to be that you were cheating on him with Thor. How could you be cheating on Liam when you both weren’t even together? Not that you were doing anything with Thor but—well, you did harbor some serious feelings for the man. Was that considered cheating? It wasn’t as if you were thinking about him constantly, when you and Liam were together, or fantasizing about you two together. Hell, neither of you even said anything remotely sexual to one another to do any sort of ‘verbal cheating’ if that was even considered a thing.

Maybe it wasn’t fair to Liam that you had a crush on Thor, but you weren’t acting on it. You were seriously trying to figure out if Liam was a good guy and worth your time.

Then the asshole hauled off and hit you.

Through the darkness on the lawn, the moonlight illuminated Natasha pulling Steve and Sam way from Liam. The latter of which was standing unsteadily. Clint was watching from the sidelines, smirking as if he were waiting his turn. The redheaded woman said something to the lot of them, shoving Liam by his shoulder towards where he parked his truck by the front door.

Finally, it seemed like Tony remembered his purpose. “Come on darlin’, let’s get you fixed up,” his hands pressed on your shoulder softly to direct you away from the window with his words.

Everything passed in a haze of sorts. Tony leading you to the training rooms. You sat down on one of the elevated cots while he pressed medicated wipes to your nose and face. Faintly the taste of blood hit the back of your throat, the metallic smell was just barely there.

All you could think of was Thor.

He just left, you regretted not going with him. Sure, it would have brought on the downfall of your relationship with Liam, but why would you want to be in a relationship with a man who would hit you anyway? At least if you had gone to Asgard you would have been spared the pain of being punched in the face twice.

“You’ve got to tell me Y/N, is that the first time that has happened,” Tony’s voice was soft, quiet. You don’t think you have ever heard him be this serious and soft spoken before.

“Yes,” your lips trembled as you spoke. “He’s never—I didn’t think—he’s never laid a hand on me like that. I didn’t think he was c-capable of that. “

Eventually everyone made their way back into the base, crowding around you in the room as an ice pack was pressed to your face. They spoke around and over you. Still their voices were just a soft odd buzz because you were still trying to process the fact Liam hit you. They were discussing what action to take. Should they call the police anyway even though he left the property? Were there any security protocols that he knew of the base? Tony said he would tell FRIDAY to send alerts to everyone on base if Liam showed back ever again.

Steve also agreed that things would go south quickly if Thor came back.

Deep down you knew Thor cared about you on a platonic level. Just like the rest of the team, he would come to your side if you had needed it like you did tonight. Would he go as far as actually killing someone though? Just for hitting you across the face in anger? It wasn’t right of Liam to hit you, but would Thor really kill him over it?

“Are you okay,” Steve rested a hand on your shoulder, leaning down to look at your face when he asked. You weren’t sure what it looked like, but most of the pain was radiating from your left eye socket and the bridge of your nose. A hint of blood still danced at the back of your tongue, making you want to gag.

Pressing the ice pack closer to your face, you nodded. “Just really confused,” you breathed deeply trying to hold in the tears. You had finally stopped crying shortly after Tony cleaned you up, but trying to think in general was making the waterworks resurface. “I don’t understand why—why he felt the need to hit me over it.”

“Over what,” Clint asked.

“Thor came to say goodbye,” you sighed, “he said I could go with him. I told him I couldn’t and he said he would be back for Christmas and then he left. Liam—Liam was mad and he just kept saying I was—that I was a slut for—”

You cut yourself off to take a deep breath. You were getting upset again, and really you just wanted to be done with it all. You just wanted to go back to bed, cuddle into the sheets and go back to sleep, just to wake up tomorrow and start over.

“You are not a slut darling,” Tony said, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

“I know,” you pushed forward, standing up. “I know I’m not. He had a twisted view on things, out of jealousy. It’s over now. We’re done. I just want to go to sleep and forget this ever happened.”

Once you finally left them all in the training room, you found yourself standing in the doorway to your room, timid. The door was still wide open, the lights off. It almost felt wrong to go back to bed. Not to go to sleep, but it felt wrong to go back to the bed you had shared with Liam. Your feet backed up, taking you down the hallway and up the flight of stairs.

On auto pilot you just opened the door to Thor’s room, not even turning on the light. The light from the moon made up for the pitch blackness. You stumbled to the bed and slid into the crumpled sheets, inhaling deeply through your nose to gain a sense of comfort. Instead you could smell Liam, and that’s when you remembered you were still wearing his long sleeve shirt.

In a fit of rage, you tore off the shirt, jumping out of Thor’s bed and stomping across the room. You threw it into the hallway and slammed the door closed before getting back into the bed half dressed and cuddling into the sheets. Now you smelled Thor, the forever ‘smell of rain’ as you called it. He always smelled fresh, like before it rains or the crisp morning air in autumn.

The tears came slowly down your cheeks, lips trembling. You just wished you had gone with Thor, you missed him already.

Previous Chapter << Part 3: Soft Pretzels

Next Chapter >> Part 5: Cinnamon Rolls

Tag List:

@jumpingmanatee  @thorfanficwriter @captainamericasbeard @lancsnerd

[sserpente]

A/N: After a cuddly Christmas Eve with hot cocoa and sweet love making, Loki’s Christmas present for you is… himself. Honestly, the best gift.

Fröhliche Weihnachten to all of you! I hope you all spend a wonderful and peaceful time with your loved ones today. Take care of yourselves and be safe! ♥ Request from anon and anon. Enjoy reading!

Words: 3691 Warnings: fluff and smut

„Jesus Christ!“ Your heart skipped a beat when you entered the vast living room of the Avengers Manor with a book in hand, dressed in a comfy over-sized sweater without a bra and loose pyjama pants.

What you expected to see was the beautifully lit Christmas tree, electric candles and shiny Christmas baubles in gold and red, not however, the God of Mischief reading peacefully on the couch right next to it. Well, that was until that surprised scream escaped your lips.

“Not quite, kitten.” He smirked upon spotting you standing there in the threshold, dressed like you didn’t plan to leave the house ever again. Your hair was messy too—forming an untidy bun on your head because you had been too lazy to wash it this morning. On Christmas Eve, you figured, it was alright. You had wanted some alone time and silence. If not today, when would you grant it to yourself?

“I thought you were at that Christmas party.” You explained quickly, crossing the room to sit down on the couch as well. The Christmas party all of the Avengers were invited to. Quite technically, Loki wasn’t part of the Avengers, heavens, he wasn’t even a superhero. But, he hadn’t mentioned with a word he was going to relinquish fun and drinks with Thor, whom he got along with pretty well lately, and instead chose to occupy the living room.

Now, you didn’t exactly mind his presence. Loki could be exhausting—both you and him knew that very well indeed—but when the Avengers would disgustedly snort at his behaviour, snarky comments or superior smugness, you would simply shrug it off or giggle away. He had a… unique nature and somehow, you liked it. It also explained his playful nickname for you. Kitten.

Only a month ago you had decided it would be a glorious idea to force Loki to watch a TV series with you. “Vikings” took a lot of inspiration from Norse Mythology and the satisfied look on his face combined with a vivid sparkling in his blue eyes whenever the characters mentioned him had been worth all the persuasion you had needed to convince him to watch it with you.

In the end, he had insisted on watching three seasons at once, keeping you awake until 4 AM in the morning. You had fallen asleep against him, snuggling into him like a needy little kitten. He never ceased to stop teasing you about it now but you could tell he had liked your affection as well.

Ever since then, you considered him a friend. You were, of course, still cautious around him, always reminding yourself that he was still the God of Mischief but mostly, he acted like a charming, confident and intelligent young man.

Smiling sheepishly to yourself, you remembered that Christmas present you had bought for him. It was an ancient dagger, origins unknown but believed to be holding spiritual powers when fought with it. The antique dealer had required a little fortune from you but since it was the only present you had had to buy along with Thor’s this year, you simply went along with it.

Tony had decided that since the Avengers team grew every year, now including Peter aka Spiderman as well, it would be a lot more fun to do Secret Santa. You had drawn Thor’s name but grumbled with heartache upon learning they had excluded Loki.

“No one’s gonna volunteer to get Reindeer Games a present, (Y/N). He should be grateful I tolerate his presence after all that he’s done.”

“Let me see… spending a sacred night with a handful of self-proclaimed superheroes who all despise me to the core? I much rather prefer reading a book in peace.” He responded coolly, ripping you from your thoughts with a soft voice. That was understandable.

“My words… I mean, not the part with everyone hating you but reading instead of partying on Christmas Eve.”

For just the briefest of moments, something in his blue eyes flashed. You couldn’t wrap your head around what it was but as quickly as it came into light, it was gone again.

“Well, uh… mind if I join you?” You smiled as you tapped your own book with your fingers, earning you a court nod.

Making yourself comfortable by crossing your legs on the couch, you then opened it, attempting to get lost in the fictional world captured on the thin paper. It was about a young woman falling for a black-haired man, shortly before Christmas. He was inviting her to a café, buying her a delicious mug of hot chocolate.

For a while, you received what you wished for. Silence, peace, calmness in midst the dim lights of the Christmas tree, curled up on the couch in cosy clothing. The longer you read, however, the more you noticed your thoughts drifting away from the story and over to the man reading right next to you.

He looked… attractive tonight, to say the least. You almost scoffed. Well, he always looked attractive, it was one of his defining traits but for some odd reason, tonight something was different. Was it the lights? The shadows dancing across his face and complimenting his blue eyes?

“What is it, kitten?” He suddenly spoke, not even bothering to look up from his book. Amazed by his ability to sense you were awkwardly staring at him without even lifting his head, you cleared your throat.

“Nothing, really. I’m just thinking about how handsome you look.” You stated honestly, shrugging your shoulders. You were friends. Friends could be honest with each other. Friends. Right?

If you didn’t have his attention before, you certainly had it now. Loki looked up almost surprised, his eyes slightly widened.

“Never mind! Hey, I’m gonna make myself some cocoa,” you changed the topic quickly, shrugging off the humiliation washing through you. “You want some too?”

His smile instantly evaporated your embarrassment and replaced it with… with what? Adoration? You were friends. Friends… you repeated the word like a mantra. Just because Loki was handsome, you had no right to suddenly hit on him or develop feelings for him at that. No… that was a really bad idea. Being friends with the God of Mischief was dangerous as is but being in love with him? Bloody suicide.

You almost stumbled and kissed the ground when you got to your feet again and staggered into the giant kitchen, returning back to Loki about ten minutes later.

You set the two steaming mugs containing delicious hot chocolate and tiny marshmallows on the small coffee table before you before sitting down again, not however, resuming reading your book.

Pondering, you turned to Loki once more, eyeing him for a split second to speak up again.

“Do you have a mind to continue Vikings? We still have one season to watch.”

The God of Mischief smirked again, this time causing your entire body to clench. You almost flinched. Friends. You were friends…

“Why not?” He finally gave back, amused by your suggestion. His book disappeared in a green shimmering of light only for you to part your lips in awe before reaching for the remote on the coffee table and switching on the TV to stream on Netflix.

It didn’t take you long to grab the blanket on the edge of the couch after starting the new season, clutching at your cocoa mug and snuggling on the soft surface a little too close to Loki. Your heart started beating like a steam hammer. He didn’t shove you off him, he didn’t even inch away, he… relaxed, devouring his hot chocolate, his eyes glued to the TV screen.

It was so perfect. A giant, beautiful Christmas tree, candle light and hot chocolate… this was so much better than your book. You could relate to what the protagonist was feeling. So content, so drunk on love, so… you were friends.

“You are staring again, kitten.”

I can’t help it. “Sorry.”

“What’s on your mind?” He asked softly. You. And I don’t know what’s happening to me. It must be the Christmas tree.

“It’s nothing, I guess I’m just tired.” You mumbled instead, gnashing your teeth and staring at the coffee table to avoid his blue eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat when he suddenly brought up his hand to lift your chin with two fingers, his gaze taunting. There it was again. That flashing in his eyes.

“You are a bad liar, kitten.”

“No I’m not!” You protested, arms akimbo. “I’m a fairly good liar, you’re just too good at detecting them.”

“I am the God of Lies.” Lifting his chin proudly, he elicited a childish giggle from you, your eyes travelling to his thin lips.

“Loki…” I don’t know how to put it. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I feel the urge to kiss you and I—

There was no need to finish the thought you would never speak out loud. Loki’s smirk widened as he leaned forward to cup your cheek with his soft palm, his taunting gaze once more resting on you so intently you feared to faint. You were friends…

“I…” Oh, fuck it.

The God of Mischief furrowed his brows when you paused, interrupting yourself by simply pressing your lips against his. Soft, sweet and tender, you pushed him back to kiss him, the sudden sexual tension between you tangible and scourging the air. You could almost hear it hiss when you heard Loki moan into your mouth, using the opportunity to sneak your tongue between his lips to deepen the kiss.

He didn’t pull away. He didn’t throw you off him. Instead, his hands came up to grasp your waist, refusing to let you go again. You were straddling him now, his crotch rubbing against your covered core and increasing naughty arousal that clouded your mind like pink cotton candy.

You were friends, right. Being friends didn’t compare to this in the slightest. Your whole body was on fire, longing for more contact, more friction, desiring Loki… inside you.

When you finally retreated to catch your breath, your lips moist and swollen, you were both panting, numbed by a single, passionate kiss.

Realisation hit you like a tidal wave that knocked you against a sharp crag, impaling your skin and drawing blood.

Your eyes locked with his, wide and startled. You were almost sure he could hear the rapid heartbeat in your chest.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“So this was what was on your mind.” Loki teased, only smirking in response to your stuttered apology. His smooth voice sounded hoarse, aroused. Aroused? You couldn’t possibly have the same effect on him, now could you?

Chewing on your lower lip, you looked away, blushing furiously. He surprised you yet again by gently grabbing your chin to turn you to face him once more.

“Lie down on the couch.”

You gulped. Only now did you notice your hands were still buried in his raven hair. It felt so soft… “W-what?”

“Was my request unclear? Lie down on the couch, kitten.”

“But… what are you…”

“I am going to give you what you crave.” His words made your lower regions pulsate with deprived need, your muscles clenching in joyful anticipation. Lie down, for Fuck’s sake!

You obliged with shaking limbs, climbing off him to meet his demand. You felt vulnerable—exposed although dressed, anxiously awaiting what he would do to.

You sucked in a deep breath when he hooked his fingers into the seam of your loose pants, tearing them off your legs effortlessly.

“Loki… are you sure… I mean you… we…” What were you trying to say? That you didn’t know if he wanted this? If he was merely pleasing you so you would leave him alone, annoyed by a simple mortal’s desire for an actual god?

Loki chuckled, the sound of it sending shivers up and down your spine and tingling right between your legs.

“Why are you humans so inhibited when it comes to love making, I wonder? Is it not the most natural thing to enjoy each other’s bodies?”

It confused you. He confused you. Enjoying each other’s bodies… Where were you standing right now? What was this? The beginning of a hazardous ‘friends with benefits’ relationship? Was it impossible for a man and a woman to be friends without ripping off each other’s clothes at some point?

The thought of it almost angered you. There was no guarantee that anything that happened after this would work out. Being friends was safe, uncomplicated. Being in love was… the exact opposite.

You cried out when Loki suddenly buried his face between your legs, breathing in deeply. Blushing, you attempted to push him away, running your fingers through his raven hair. It was to no avail—he was taking charge, refusing to stop this because you felt shy.

Purring, his tongue darted out to lick over your slit, tasting you with relish. Every inch of your pussy posed a helpless victim to him as he suckled on the sensitive skin, working his way up to your aching and swollen clit.

Loki closed his mouth around it, his tongue teasing you until you jerked, your hips thrusting up to meet his hot mouth, making you moan shamelessly. The needy sound encouraged him to suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, building an orgasm he wanted to taste at any cost. He was going to take that pleasure, steal it from you until you melted in his arms—you were sure you already had.

You were his.

Loki knew exactly what he was doing. Pushing away the thought of where and how he had learned how to make a woman scream underneath him, your fists clenched around his hair, pressing him even closer into your leaking core. You were dripping for him, the wet sounds of his tongue flicking over your wetness sending jolts of electricity to your clit.

“L-Loki… fuck, I’m going to… ahh…”

He chuckled once more, licking over your pussy one last time before pulling away with a silent smack, his thin lips glistening with your evident arousal and making you swallow thickly.

“Unfortunately, kitten…” he started mischievously, “I want to feel you coming undone around my cock.”

He hovered above you like your saviour, his blue eyes wild with hunger and lust. It made your whole body clench, your lips parted in awe as you glanced up at him greedily.

Loki used his seidr to remove his clothes, his erect length springing free in joyful anticipation. It twitched under your gaze as you licked your lips; and he wasted no more time in positioning himself between your legs, the tip leaking with precum already, pressing against your petals.

“Please…” You whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek and pull him down for a kiss. Here, on the couch, alone and undisturbed in the dim light of the Christmas tree… it was all you’d ever wanted and more… however, you only realised now.

A whimper escaped your lips when he pushed into you, sheathing himself inside your aching core to the hilt. You nails dug into the bare and hot skin of his back, urging him on to move and increase that gorgeous feeling of being filled so completely.

“Fuck… Loki…”

Chuckling darkly and suppressing a moan himself, he started moving. Slowly at first, he rocked in and out of you, teasing you with lazy thrusts until you arched your back to meet his body. Your chest was still covered by your over-sized sweater—something, so he decided, he would have to remedy.

Using a single hand to not shift his full weight on you, he ripped the warm piece of clothing off your body, exposing your breasts to the regulated air in the room. Your nipples hardened, begging for attention.

“You… owe me… a sweater…” You choked out in between a few powerful thrusts, causing Loki to smirk down at you.

“I believe that is the least of your concerns right now.”

He was right. Loki hit that special spot inside you with every single thrust, bringing you back to that delicious cliff, right to the brink of orgasm. You needed it… you needed it so much…

“Cum,” he demanded, growling into your ear. You moaned in response. “Cum for me, kitten, now!”

It was easy to oblige him. Your whole body seemed to burst into millions of tiny pieces, shattering like a mirror. You moaned, thrashed, screamed, losing your mind from the intense waves of bliss cursing through your veins, your walls clenching around Loki’s cock and milking him until he lost control, his composure all but gone.

Pumping in and out of you so ruthlessly it almost hurt, he sought his own peek while you still attempted to calm down from your high, the arousing sensation of him spurting his cum deep inside you and claiming you as his having you seeing stars for a moment.

Loki stilled after riding out his own orgasm, his impressive length softening inside you, yet he didn’t pull out.

Letting several seconds pass in silence, you revelled in the feeling of being united, skin touching, so close to each other.

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

Smiling, you rested your forehead against his.

“Merry Christmas, Loki.”

When you woke up the next morning, Loki was gone. He had come to bed with you, pressing your back against his chest and wrapping his arms around you until you had fallen asleep. No words were needed—no explanations or questions.

This… whatever it was, for you still couldn’t quite name it yet, went beyond ‘friends with benefits’ or a bit of experimenting in the heat of the moment.

Yawning, you got out of bed, remembering with a start that you were naked. Loki had carried you to bed last night, his seed dripping from your pussy and staining the bed sheets but you couldn’t care less. Quickly, you wrapped yourself in your bathrobe and made your way into the living room where quite literally all of the Avengers had spread to unwrap their presents.

You were glad you had remembered to put Thor’s present underneath and when he spotted you, grinning from ear to ear, he instantly pulled you in a cordial hug, almost crushing you in the process.

“Thank you so much, (Y/N), I love it!” You had gotten him a gift voucher for his favourite store where they sold pop tarts. It was valid for several months, where he could munch on the treats completely for free.

“I’m glad you do,” you giggled, patting his shoulder. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you too!”

You proceeded to open your own present from Wanda—a special edition of your favourite book series—and thanked her exuberantly before looking around hugging yourself, your gaze darted from person to person, frantically searching for the one person you wanted to see the most. How would he behave around you after yesterday night? How would you behave and… would it all change between you now?

When you found Loki in an armchair in a corner, rather unimpressed by Peter’s joy who unwrapped an Xbox Tony had bought him, your heart jumped.

“Hey, who’s that one for?” Tony exclaimed, pointing at one last present under the neatly decorated tree.

You scoffed. “It’s wrapped in green with a gold ribbon, who do you think does it belong to?”

Loki’s head shot up to meet your gaze, his blue eyes locking with yours, questioning. Tony only raised an eyebrow when you picked up the package and handed it to the man you had had sex with only hours ago, smiling down at him innocently.

He took it from you rather hesitatingly, his brows furrowed just like yesterday night before you had kissed him. You could tell he wasn’t used to this much affection and it itched you to shower him with even more of it. Perhaps with more sex or a relaxing blowjob after a romantic day in the snow? A devilish plan formed in your mind.

“You got me a present?”

“I did, open it.”

The God of Mischief pursed his lips, fingering at the gold ribbon. Patiently, he tore the green wrapping paper off the wooden box and opened it to find the dagger. His eyes widened as he read the ancient inscription on it—not for a second you had doubted he wouldn’t be able to—and then looked up again to smile at you. An honest, cordial smile warming your heart and tickling all of your body parts.

“Thank you, (Y/N). Where did you get it from?”

“A secret,” you giggled. “I’ll go get myself a coffee and then get dressed. I’d love to take a walk in the park while it’s still sunny outside. Would you like to join me?”

“I would love to.”

Only Thor noticed the loving glances you kept exchanging until you vanished in the kitchen.

A few minutes and the loud rumbling of the coffee machine later, you returned to your room. You almost spilled the energising brew when you found Loki on your bed, wearing nothing but his tight and black leather pants… and a green bow around his neck.

“Surprise!”

You couldn’t help it. You burst out in laughter, tears rolling down your cheeks from the lack of oxygen.

“Loki, w-what are you d-doing?”

“Quite frankly I believe you should receive a Christmas gift too before we leave.”

“So?” You questioned, breathing in shakily to calm yourself.

“So I decided my present for you would be me.”

“You’re going to be my Christmas present?” He must have read your mind concerning that blowjob.

“Yes, kitten, I am.”

Still grinning wildly, you bit your lower lip. “So… unlike yesterday, I’m in charge?”

Loki nodded, lifting his arms in defeat and inviting you to climb on your bed to straddle him.

He was up for your revenge and until he screamed from antagonising pleasure, begging to cum in your mouth, you would take your time.

“I am all yours.”

It was all that you needed to hear from him.