#I feel like i gotta clarify this is a silly post

[frobby]

Ive been thinking a lot about kim namwoon but not like in philosophical way more in the "what if you were created to aid one person and like thats the reason for your existence and then you find out... that guy hates you so much he would get into internet fights about it..." kind of way

[pixelated-mechanisms-chaos]

After calming down, kind words, some consideration, and a night of sleep, I've decided not to quit the project but i feel like i have to clarify something?

Downtime and potential future games are very headcannon/AU heavy, meaning that, for example, jonny is a creature, ivy is trans masc, and there's content that is not at all in canon. [Specific HC under cut♡]. I also do not read any of the canon fiction, so those infos also lack for the most part (unless for the things I've been told).

I felt like i should mention these things NOW before anyone expects a close to cannon game which i will not do since this is a FUN project and digging up and reading walls of overwhelming text and getting headaches is NOT fun.

Thanks for the kind words, they meant, and helped a lot♡

- Oliver/Jonny

(Also, have this sneak peak, but in exchange, you GOTTA read the post/nf also also the marquis design is by @reegis ♡)

[For example, I have an HC that there aren't any humans! It's just different evolutional branches of a core feral species!! Jonny, for example, is one of the more feral branches, while carmilla is a pure vamperic branch that has almost died out- either humans existed once and found another species that they merged with or the feral species was first and eventually some branches evolved to "humas" with pointy ears and pointy teeth! Im very emotional about this HC, and you can't stop me from usin' it cause my game, my rules/silly ]

[djservo]

movie recs w bro auras??

ohhhh you shoulda never asked me this question I think about those things way 2 much.. get your reading glasses on pal it gets real ugly down there

ok firstly want to clarify wit "bro aura" there's "whoa this character is so [bro]" in a singular characterization way n then there's "ohhh this is somethin the bros would do" in a situational way n then there's a more general/subtle yet distinctive vibe like the Pathos n Dynamics of it all... that's how i think of it at least all very convoluted yes but just 4 distinction 🦠 that being said I think these recs are more situational/dynamics rather than than str8 up characterizations bc if i tried listing all the individually sergio or joaquin aura coded movies we'd be here forever and i have a pie in the oven rn i don't have the time!!! ok onward .

Some Like It Hot (1959) — sorry to be corny but it's a classique for a reason!! Tony Curtis is so demure and Jack Lemmon is god's favorite court jester U can't take ur eyes off that man's mannerisms + they both play off each other so well!!! I love dummies stumbling thru silly hijinks!! I'd also recommend Matt Baume's video essay on the making of the film for a TMC #herstory moment

The Odd Couple (1968) — kinda theeee opposites-as-roommates movie, not my fav tbh it's a bit of a slog when Jack's not on screen but worth it if you want like a Cinema Classic Bro (brorigin..) moment that's kinda the foundation for the opposites-as-roomies dynamic

Paul Newman + Robert Redford are the original bros in my heart so Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid (1969) is a must and U might as well (in fact I implore you to) toss in The Sting (1973) to cement the fact that their chemistry is magical even just from the way they look at each other with those freaky beautiful blue eyes man it's like they're telekineticing... telekineticizing... shakspear luv.... I got into cards bc of this card trick Paul's character does ugh truly titillating work...

Rope (1948) inspired by Leopold and Loeb (the original Billy + Stu from Scream if u really think about it) sociopathic buddies with a buttoned-up formality that gives it this smexy polite n repressed edge (don't you love when the killers are true gentlemen!) this film also has a fun gay history so pair with Matt Baume's vid if u end up watching! if you like murder mysteries I think you'll enjoy

all 3 of the movies I did simstober edits based on obviiiii though I feel like generally every other 80s/90s horror movie has bro moments + I'm sure I've even posted a few rando screenshots here if u wanna dig around. I rewatched Re-Animator (1985) last month + almost did that for this year's simstober edit instead 🤭 and An American Werewolf in London (1981)!!!! good ol chummy back n forth right from the start + it also has the best transformation scene Ever (to me).. the Fright Night remake (2011) if u wanna stay in that 'friend comes back wrong' lane (the original is so good too but doesn't have as much buddy interaction if rmbr correctly)... also Lair of the White Worm (1988) which is soooooo fkn fun and worth it for the campiness alone but THAT ENDING !!!! I think about it all the time, it's one of my favs!!

Thelma & Louise (1991) is monumentalllll (lightly referenced in this bro post a couple years ago hehe) if U watch Butch Cassidy u gotta pair these two together, outlaw buddy movie marathon baybee!! & while we're in '91 might as well toss in Point Break ("I know you want me so bad it's like acid in your mouth" bonk) there's just somethin about late 80s/early 90s homoerotic undercover cop/action cheese .. the devastating n overbearing power of friendship(+love) or somethin... something gay was in the water in '91

if u don't mind more of an ensemble film Jason Lee + Jeremy London's characters in Mallrats (1995) are so spot on right down to their stupid conversations + even their outfits and PATHOSSSSS🤌 wise, that general meandering 90s feel ticks the bro aura in my head well BRAIN TURNING TO MUSH god this is getting long but I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface OK buck up (<-me to myself)

situationally Y Tu Mamá También (2001) is prob obvious when it comes to 2 friends getting into a Thing that drastically changes their dynamic (not that that's necessarily the bros .) + Splendor (1991) also fits the 2 guys 1 woman dynamic too but in a sillier way + Araki's style is a treat for the eyes just in general. Hush! (2001) also fits that dynamic but they're actually boyfriends rather than just friends (girl wants one of the guys to get her preggo bc she wants a baby & kinda forces herself into their relationship. me as hell. jk) but it's surprisingly really heartwarming!!! perf for the holidays!! Plan B (2010) is sooo underrated, that's another silly plot where a guy wants to get back with his ex-girlfriend & he hears that her new bf is bi so he tries to seduce the current bf to get him away from her...???? soo fkn silly and fun but Also surprisingly sweet and charming!! I posted about Matthias & Maxime (2019) when I first watched it bc it felt that uncanny... tbqh I'd recommend any early Xavier Dolan to immerse urself in joaquin's early québécois herstory (I totally ripped his backstory from I Killed My Mother not that we would even KNOW that @ djservo's slow ass smh) but this one in particular is soooooo....??!!! just watch it and report back to me . and i'm sorry to say in the year of lord 2023 that The Social Network (2010) is still that bitch to me hand covers bruise I WAS YOUR ONLY FRIEND YOU HAD ONE FRIEND oh my god JAIL TIME mr fincher for making me emotional over BILLIONAIRES !!!

not a movie but I've been sick n wanting something easy on the brain so I've been rewatching Boy Meets World from the start and if you don't already know, I based the bro apartment on Eric + Jack's in s5 and I've finally reached s5 and MAN O MAN!!! goldmine of bro auras through n through honestly cory + shawn have their moments too but literally just watch any eric + jack compilation on youtube (or jump to s5 tbh) to see the vibes it's actually so serious that I've been building an apartment from scratch in my feverish haze to closer resemble their with a working balcony it's soooooo soo gravely serious to me wait what were talking about again

[tomatosoupgroup]

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO (hello)

welcome to screen shot saturday video gamers

it's ya girl

callie

let's get right into the updates!

except...

i. i had a VERY busy week. school has been metaphorically beating my metaphorical ass metaphorically

so i uh.

don't really have a lot to show this week.

so what do we do??? do we cancel screenie saturday???

NO

you FOOL

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

and i have an idea for how it could!

remember these equations?

these are the equations for the amount of hp an enemy spawns in with and the amount of exp an enemy gives upon defeat respectively

the first and third from the top are the originals, while the second and fourth are simplified versions.

this may seem complicated! that's probably because it is.

you know i'm not constantly doing the same equations by hand. that would be fucking terrible. so how do i do all this?

INTRODUCING....

THIS PYTHON CODE I WROTE LAST WEEK!

it's a bit complex, but it can all be explained in this four step process...

it'll ask for all the important variables. (min/max lvl an enemy can spawn with, min/max effort values, infection status, etc etc)

then, it'll run them through the equations, and output the result!

that's it!

no seriously. that's it.

also apparently i wrote an equation for how much damage an enemy can do, but it seems like i didn't write it down for whatever reason...?

thanks past callie you rock

i guess i'll spend the rest of my post talking about a bit of a concern of mine.

you may have noticed that when I'm writing, I write properly. but when i'm typing my tweets or gamedev updates, i kinda...don't.

that has made me feel a bit conscious, i may be implying that i'm not the one writing, or something like that.

let's clear things up with a little QnA with yours truly!:

Q: Why do you type properly when writing, but improperly when posting?

A: writing stuff out takes time! i usually feel like posting (ESPECIALLY tweeting) is like a spur-of-the-moment kinda deal. like it's a quick thought that i convert to words.

Q: But why the gamedev updates?

A: first of all, i feel like there's two types of brand (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined brand.) accounts:

the ones who act all professional and proper

the ones who act silly to gain attention

while i can see the approach for both options, i'm not really a big fan of either one.

but you see, dear reader. i have been blessed with an aspect that i have not revealed to you yet.

when companies (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined company.) try strategy number 2, they're trying to appeal to a specific audience.

y'know, "hEy!!!!!!!! we're cool too!!! we're just like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! buy our product"

let's call this audience the "twitter freaks" cuz this mainly happens on twitter

i mean, i would know.

because I AM A TWITTER FREAK MYSELF.

THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT

READ EM AND WEEP CHAT.

I GET A FREE PASS!

AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined brand, business, and/or company. For that reason, the main head of the group, Callie, is able to remain as a part of her own audience. This is literally just how she acts.)

Q: Do you use AI for any part of the project?

A: i use it to clean up spotty code occasionally.

it's always a last resort. like an "UGHHHHHHHHH IM SO TIRED BUT I GOTTA GET THIS WORKING BEFORE I GO TO BEDDDDDD" situation.

the code the ai generates is also seen as a "placeholder" of sorts, as most of that code must be rewritten for it to work perfectly.

tldr: i use it for quick patches to my spaghetti code, and that's about it.

Q: Do you use AI to write your work?

A: NO. i would never let my work be tainted by soulless hands.

Q: Do you have other writers?

A: nope! i will accept suggestions, but ultimately, all writing will be done by me and me only.

to clarify, i'm not against the idea of having other writers!! that's fine and valid.

but i feel like (and this may sound silly) i'm the only one who truly understands these characters.

although it may not seem like it right now, these characters have an EXTREME amount of depth to them.

so much so, that i feel like their story is worth sharing.

that's why i always sound so excited when updating!!!!! because it's actually how i feel for these characters.

i hope that one day in the future, i'll be able to show you the true magnitude of the depths.

Q: Why do all the characters have Japanese names?

A: oh, that's a simple one! a lot of the game is inspired by jpop, and the names are just kind of a reference to that.

i'm not intending to misappropriate a culture i am not a part of, i'm just a really big fan of jpop. i put it on whenever i do any work.

and then i do that neurodivergent thing where i imagine an animated music video involving my characters

like, for example:

i've been listening to お気に召すまま by Eve. (Also known by its English title: As You Like It) a lot lately.

i recommend you give this a listen:

from what i can tell, the song is about the complex emotions that the main character experiences when trying to confess to a girl. the hand man represents a part of him he doesn't like, the other versions of himself represent the other sides of his personality, etc. etc.

now THIS COULD BE WRONG. but if it's true, then i feel like this song would really resonate with rikiyo.

he would relate to how the main character's emotions seem to get in the way, because he's going through something similar.

he's scared to tell toshi he loves him for many reasons, one of which being his own emotions.

oops! hope i didn't give too much away there!

anyways thatll be it for tonight

sorry for the lack of progress, i'll try to get some done during this week!

love you all

-Callie

[androxys]

Gotta ask 11 for the ask meme just to let you go on about the answer. Otherwise, 16 out of interest.

11: Birds of Prey or Outsiders?

Zahri, you're so good to me. I'm sure it will shock everyone who follows me when I choose the Birds, because, come on. I'm going to have to disclaim here at the beginning that I am woefully under-read with regards to the Outsiders, and I largely know them through their appearances in other stories. (The Insiders, CheckOut, the Reborn era Hush-sitting)

For one, the Outsiders don't have the objectively greatest character of all time, Oracle!Barbara, as a main character so they're starting off at a distinct disadvantage.

Secondly, and this is so hypocritical of me, but the Outsiders are just so... messy? Like, to compare Birds of Prey and the Outsiders you have to first clarify which iteration of the Outsiders you're talking about. Is this first wave, Batman and the Outsiders with Katana, Black Lightning, Metamorpho, Geo-Force, and Halo? Is this Nightwing's post-Graduation Day Outsiders with Arsenal, and none of the above? Is this the One Year Later Outsiders that remixes those two? I like when a superhero team is grounded in their "paragon" members--for the JLA, that's the Trinity. For the BoP, that's Babs and Dinah. Outsiders seems to have more of an identity crisis, because the characters I would say are most essential to the team (Katana, Black Lightning, Metamorpho) don't appear half the time.

This is a small aside, but I as a reader love to see how the DCU is affected by Batman even more than I like to actually see Batman. Show me the ripples of an interconnected universe: Young Justice worried that Tim is going to Babel them, Zatanna being on the outs with Bruce in her ongoing after Identity Crisis, all the passing references that happened to NML and BW:M. The Outsiders have this... presupposed connection to Batman that I feel like would make them attractive to me for this reason, but ultimate it just leaves me cold. If he's going to be a meaningful part of the team, sure, show his relationship to his teammates and what that means. But Dick handing ownership of the Outsiders over to Bruce after CheckOut always struck me as bizarre.

On the other hand, I have waxed poetic many times about how the Birds of Prey are not Batman's. They are Oracle's. This gets back to the paragon-ness of what I was saying earlier, but there is a distinct divide from Batman that is really important to the theme of BoP! And in a DC Universe where "Batman creep" seems to keep growing, it's nice to have a team where Batman's-- exclusion isn't quite right but we'll roll with it--is a necessary component? It's special.

There are a million things I can say about the Birds and why I love them but I'll leave it there for now because this is long enough.

16. Skartaris or Gorilla City?

Gorilla City! It's the perfect amount of comics-silliness taken seriously. An advanced hidden city of super-intelligent Gorillas? Of course!

Link to the Ask Game

[justalilpearlie]

hi guys dont mind me being insane again

im not tagging this too much cus its more of a personal ramble cus idk im feelin silly today and the BPD hits too hard. i wont be explainin what BPD is either so if u dont know either look it up or ignore this post,,

man i. have you ever loved someone so much you cry? /pos

like man i. its not romantic, may i clarify. most of my fps, except for my main one, are platonic. one of them is familial even

but i just. i feel like such a parasocial freako but i genuinly feel so intensely. its so positive too. if you ignore the crippling paranoia i always have abt my fps hating me or me being so intense they get uncomfortable...

but i just??? im not. normal about them.

i dont wanna sound creepy but they make my world so much better. id take a bullet from them. if give anything for them to be alright. i genuinly just REALLY enjoy their company and knowing theyre having fun with me aswell. knowing they enjoy me as a person. that im not a nuisance for the people i love the most.

and gosh i really hope they dont see this. i would feel so ashamed and embarassed if they did.

luckly i have better ways of copying with distress, attachment issues, jealousy, possesiveness, and all that other FUN (not) stuff that comes with BPD or rather specifically having an fp. A nice trustworthy psychologist (if u can afford it) does wonders to you, let me tell you.

its still hard sometimes but ive learnt to deal with it in ways that arent destructive to my relationships with those around me. i can cool down and such instead of lashing out or splitting for the most minimal things.

but now. for whatever reason. i went on a huge "positive" ramble instead. it was meant to be appreciation at the time, and still is, but i feel like its something that couldve scared them off. i showed some stuff to irl friends and online family, and everyone said theyd feel very appreciated if someone told them that stuff, but i cant help but feel is because they're my loved ones also and stuff. i really. really feel like i was too intense. i suck at showing affection in a normal way, a calm way, subtle way, like a normal person.

at this point i think. sigh i think its better if i just say nice things anonymously. i think if people, in general, not only my fps. but if people dont know affection comes from me they'll take it so much better than if they know its *me* in particular. and idk why! its just my brain being stupid again.

brains love doing that, dont they? being stupid. telling you everyone hates you oh so much no matter what you do. that theyre lying behind your back, and hate you in secret, theyre just being polite and allat.

well let me tell you, dear reader, whoever the fuck might read this, specially if its from the bpd tags: thats not true. sure, there might be assholes out there, but those people you think hate you despite how close you are, most likely dont. and i cant even get this through my own head but my sister repeats it to me all the time. "[name] talks so nicely about you and seems so happy seeing you". even then its hard to believe, i gotta stare at nice screenshots ive saved where i believe ive done something good, something worthy of appreciation, something that has not only meaning but an impact, a possitive one. and i know the chances of them actually hating me are low, but i still believe more in those chances than the proof.

i feel a bit delusional in a way. and i mean, i am, often times. but this is one of those thoughts- those god dammed thoughts where you're self aware yet- yet it doesnt shake the feeling away, you know? like no there is no proof, no logical proof at least, only what your mind twists into proof. but you still just "know it", yknow? even if you dont actually know shit and are very wrong. you feel like you do and it- it fucking sucks.

dont even get me started on splits and mood swings, highs and lows. Cause well. THATS NOT THE TOPIC OF THIS POST !! Lmao. i could go on for hours complaining tho. ough.

but yeah!! i just !! sorry, this took a turn. i just. needed to express myself idfk. i'll go back to posting abt minecraft men kissing soon or whatever, sorry normie followers /hj

i love them so much its overwhelming, yet i wouldnt change it for everything in the world, you know? not them. its hard but id rather endure it for them than have them not be THIS level of special to me anymore.

i really REALLY hope theyre not. uncomfortable by it tho. and wont dump me for it. i really wish i had a guide to how to and how to not mess up. so i could avoid doing dumb shit on accident.

and its funny cause theyre ppl that would absolutely tell me if im doing shit that bothers them, yet i believe theres smth else, stupid thoughts man. LEAVE ME ALONE FREDDY MERCURY!! UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD !! /ref

sighhhh anyhow yeah im dropping it here. bpd is a bitch. and to anyone out there dealing w it? godspeed. you can do this, i know life already sucks and this shitty dissorder doesnt help, but i know you can push through, mi gente bella.

Pearlo out. BPD hours rlly seem to be hitting at around 11-12 am, huh? /ij

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Soooooo, didja see the thing about P5T being confirmed to be non-canon?

Literally JUST woke up to it. TT0TT (link to those who wanna read) I....I'm....livid. I want my money back then! I literally said I buy these games for the lore/chars/story, which means it's gotta be canon.

*inhales* *exhales* You know what? I brought this on myself. Everyone was saying the game's char writing was much better. I thought to myself "oh god, am I....gonna actually ENJOY P5 for once??? Past Kamoshida??? This can't be. But even if the char writing is great for THIS, it still doesn't fix the shit I've had to deal with since then. Haha what if I just pretend this is an Alt timeline P5? :'D Yeah that'll help the cognitive dissonance haha" Oh wait I did post about it (for once I remembered to):

Well.....

Fuck me I guess (please excuse the poor photoshop. I only have MS paint in front of me).

You know what? Fuck the stages of grief! I ain't grieving! When life gives you lemon you fuck those lemons! I'M STILL GOING TO HAVE FUN!

THis story IS CANON!

"B-but Silly! The devs said-" I know what the devs said! They said it's not canon to the P5 storyline we KNOW! It's canon to it's own storyline! Aka, it's just a different continuity! ahahahahahha!

YOu see that Atlus? Haha you did something I wanted! For you to play with the different timelines????? Hahahahahaha I still win! I still get to play with where it could fall in that time frame! I still- *sobs*

Ok before I play with the timeline a bit, I want to say....it's INCREDIBLY SHITTY of Atlus not to warn people that it's an alt timeline (I'm viewing these timelines as kinda like the Pokemon Ash Anime vs the Pokemon I Choose You movie timelines, or just any of the Pokemon Manga)

It def would've fucked the sales over but it's just........it feels RUDE to the consumers. Esp since this is WORSE THAN A MEMORY WIPE! At least with Memory wipes (MW), MWs can at least be used in the narrative later. (such as how Arena/Q1/Ultimax work and are kind of a mini trilogy, Q1 explains how the P3/4 cast trust and get along so fast within less than a 24 hour timeframe, it's cause they already had Q1 to bond!)

But a completely separate canon? We need more context! I've been playing with the idea that the P3/4 casts (not including FeMC) are from a diff timeline as the P3/4 casts from PQ1. So in theory PQ1 and PQ2 can happen fairly close to each other, or they don't and the Q event that happens depends on a timeline. But that's something we kinda need to know.

Ok ok, so here's my updated timeline (ignoring P3R bc I just KNOW they are scorching the earth with that, you'll probs see some similarities with my prev Persona timelines as well as this one too, this one is more simplified down):

Very sloppy and hurried in my defense. I'm half tempted to put P3R on it's own timeline. So to clarify, I'm not saying P5T and P5D parallel each other exactly, but it's a similar timeframe iirc. And I know P5D takes place DURING P5/R, but it was just easier to show in the timeline, so it's more of a list of "game order" rather than super specific times.

And I KNOW that versions can also vary, I already did a timeline like that linked above (more so the first link, note the 2nd link was more when we weren't 100% sure P5 took place in 2016). Maybe later I can make it super specific again but.....not right now.

Also P5X is more of a theory, but this whole timeline is a theory so eh!

Persona Trinity Soul was declared an Alt canon to the games, so it shouldn't really be on this game time timeline about the games.....but it makes it easier to showcase the different timelines and similar events. (in general movies/anime/manga/stage plays all have their own separate canon too, PTS just gets a liiiiitle special treatment since it was originally a sequel to P3 prior to P4's release. PTS is just in a similar boat as P5T, haha both have T in it, and maybe P3P tho we know 100% P3P is canon to the games we just see different continuities.)

Ok theorizing aside........ I guess I'm going to have to approach this game differently.......

Now do I go about it with a clean slate? Or do I just "assume the best possible actions/writing were taken into consideration prior to these events" (aka Makoto isn't an asshole and is better written in dungeon 3 and onwards, and Futaba totally did get her heart stolen, and we TOTALLY DID listen to the public about Oku and TOTALLY DIDN'T also do it for Haru yup 100% blame on the public and ourselves for listening >_>)....I'm pretty sure the game has lied to me a handful of times prior to the tutorial, do I just take those as new truths now?

Should I juggle it being a new slate AND also remembering what happened in the actual P5 so I can point out the lies-I MEAN ahem "differences"?

Well at least it'll give me an interesting way to approach it. "Do you still want your money back?" Yeah a bit wtf atlus you made a mess of everything with that interview. TT0TT

[tempestvista]

tangent (none of this contains new or cool info i just really like some medias)

evangelion is so cool that shit has me shitting my balls ong. ITS SO COOL AND INTERESTING AND I JSUT. i should rewatch it again yeah some of the scenes are weird and make me a little. concerned that aside the fuckin. god ITS OS? ?!?@?!??bg?g?#G#? Why do so many of the medias i like gotta have mfs that are so hard to draw bruh 😭😭😭😭😭

i feel afraid of posting art even w/ credit cause i know some artists dont like their art reposted (/npa i get it just dont wanna . unintentionally cross that ykwim) LOOK AT THIS SHIT BR. LOOK

THE DESIGN IS FUCKING INSANE WHAT?!?@?h??HWHATHh HWEHHAT !!!! i also really love houseki no kuni / land of the lustrous AND THESE MOTHERFUCKERS

starts shaking

THEYRE SO COOL AND AWESOME AND COOL AND AWEOSMEI AND GI, I JSUT,,,, ... . OGM . AND THE FUCKING SCENE .G,MG , I wont spoiler anytihng but hily fucking shit and also the soundtrack for HnK is AMAZING!!!!! i dont know music in technical terms but i just. god good lord great heavens also please god where the FUCK are dorohedoro fans man. like i see so much baller ass art but i find NO ONE in public servers who has seen dorohedoro and it breaks my bigass heart fr dorohedoro is one of the few medias where i literally am chill with whoever wins the outcome (obv if its well written enough which im sure it will be bcO MG!!!!) honestly tempted to start the manga of it ive been. trying to wait but likei just,. oh my god. i wanna get dorohedoro merch so badly too im ngl i have like NOTHING of it but its one of my favorite medias fucking EVER!!!! LOOK AT THESE GOOFY ASS BITCHES BROO !! /pos

i love having interests . like i do suck at being able to explain why i love things so much and it takes me a few runs to catch up on symbolism because im . im gonna be so real for a second im kinda balls at analysis... that could be related to other things tho ! i will address that another day. LMFAO /lh nav i legit love bein silly ong im just a guy. guy who likes silly things yk??? i do worry tho that people legit think bc of my interests and the way i sometimes talk/act that its the assumption im a minor . 💀💀💀💀💀 i have deadass had ppl treat me like a kid (then again im used to being infantilized, can you guess why? /rh) and even when i clarified they still didnt back off like,.... homie... idunno ermm uhh. songs of the day or smth https://open.spotify.com/track/7L4cY0ETh2FiBWYUjbY3wY?si=2fc466c263404fca https://open.spotify.com/track/2AtC6i0b8TjpjhWBZYLprX?si=3a26e6dfdaa141d5

[quinn-pop]

for the record, mk’s favorite march sister is amy

(yes im elaborating on a silly doodle i did days ago, yes this is the most unnecessary post ever, move along)

to clarify: im looking at this through the lens of greta gerwig’s little women because in spite of having seen the 1994 version my fair share of times i could tell you almost nothing about it for some reason

i don’t think this is something he’d openly admit because of her more childish scenes. she can be loud and cruel and she burns jo’s writing and so it’s easy to dislike watching her

but she also steps up. “learns her place”. ignores what she feels because she believes she has to become something. although not thoroughly explored in the movie, i gotta imagine how absolutely lonely she must feel.

see where im going with this? i think that would really resonate with him and so her character would grow on him. he’s jealous that she can express her “worst” emotions. he’s annoyed with her pettiness because it’s unreasonable to him. these are the same things he could never allow himself to do or think or feel because he has to be something.

so seeing her change hits. because he did that too. don’t get me wrong im not saying they’re the same character or anything lol but in her he sees the heart of the child he once was and the desperate, lonely person he became.

oh also dedede likes beth because he cries every time a parent or child dies in a movie

[haysprite]

Hi sillies, just wanted to give a quick update on some things >:3 This is gonna be long, you don't have to read it ofc, but there's some important stuff!

I'm gonna finally set up the lil Legion Q&A sometime next week on one of my days off! Doodling has been v nice and I think this'll be a lot of fun to do, cause it allows me to both doodle and answer some silly questions about my Legion interpretation ! I'm just gonna have it stay on this blog just for my sake (having a separate blog would stress me out a bit lmao, and I don't like having my work in separate spaces aside from Insta), so you'll have to clarify stuff in your Asks, but I think it'll be a lot of fun!

Also I've really enjoyed reading all your Asks n whatnot! Due to work, answering em is gonna be a lot slower than usual unfortunately, since I prefer to type on my laptop which I v much cannot have at work, which you've probably already noticed. I'm slowly but surely catchin up tho, and would still love for you guys to talk about your silly things! I also hope you guys know that even if I don't agree with your headcanons/theories n whatnot, I still enjoy reading em and they always get me thinkin as well, allowing me to give my own personal take on em, so please don't ever hesitate to talk about whatever! This is a safe space to share your ideas and I love that you even wanna bring em up to me in the first place <3

Something that I'm gonna clarify now that even when the comic comes out, my *personal* interpretation will stay the same except for whatever I pick and chose from the comic's canon! I'm v excited for it, esp after reading the quick blurbs and seeing a page from it, and can't wait to see what they do with these funky lil guys, BUT I still really enjoy my version of em, so I'm gonna stick to what I'm doing now :3 I doubt anyone really cares about this, but yknow dslkfjlfkdsj its something I'm a wee bit insecure about so I just wanted to point that out now. Also I dunno if I'll ever draw the comic designs? They've grown on me the more I've seen em, but I've grown too attached to my own lmfao, maybe in a lil drawing challenge I will tho idk :3

Speaking of the comic, I will most definitely be reviewing it !!! I'm gonna post live reactions on Twitter (spoiled, ofc), and then save my final thoughts for Tumblr since I can go more in depth here ! I also would love to redraw some of the panels with my designs as well since I think that'd be funny! I'm also gonna review the Legion Mystery Box that dropped yesterday, cause I bought that thing IMMEDIETLY so I wouldn't miss out on it !!!

I also really wanna start writing some fanfics! I've been talking about this for a while, but I'm hopefully gonna start sometime over the weekend inbetween my shifts! Dunno if they'll be good, but at this point I just gotta stop worrying about that and remember that my work is for me first, and then for some reason a few of you dorks like it as well! They'll probs just be oneshots to start out since I'm v out of practice and wanna figure out how I wanna write these guys, but maybe I could start a fic in the future idk!

Art is gonna become a lot slower unfortunately, I'm workin 40-50 hour weeks now, but I'm still gonna try and get somethin out for y'all at least once a week, since I really do love drawing! I have so many ideas that I'm just itching to draw and share with you folk! I'm still always up for art or doodle ideas/requests as well, though they might take a hot while to finally get to!

Just wanna mention that I'm a lot more active on Twitter, where I just talk about whatever, share game clips, and interact with folks the most! Feel free to check it out if you'd like :3

Just wanted to thank you guys for all your support on my work, I really appreciate it! It helps motivate me a lot to keep at it on top of my desire to show my love to my favorite characters and franchises, and I love that I can share my ideas and artwork with you all! <3

[allyouneedisbuck]

all this devotion is rushing out of me

summary // Bucky Barnes is beautiful. No ifs, ands or buts. But there was something exceptionally beautiful about him that you were desperate to see. (bucky x fem!reader)

or; bucky barnes blushing is reader’s kryptonite and all she wants is to see it.

words // 2.0K

warnings // (hi there is a brief brief allusion to a breeding kink in this but i don’t write smut so it’s nothing graphic) mentions of pregnancy & sex 

notes // my second b.b fic also originally posted on my ao3 happy reading! i have more in the works! 

Bucky Barnes is beautiful. There’s no doubt about that in your mind.

From his newly cropped hair to the smile lines forming around his eyes. Down to the stunning metal arm and god his thighs.

Bucky Barnes is beautiful.

But your favorite part, the thing of his that you find most beautiful, are his flushed cheeks and embarrassed smiles.

The way he turns red from the tip of his ears to the apple of his cheeks and turns his eyes away with a small, embarrassed smile always makes your stomach flutter. It was so beautiful and rare that when it did happen, you just wanted to bring it back.

So while visiting Sam and Sarah, Mission Blushing Barnes, was born in your mind. You didn’t really want to embarrass him, far from it, so you knew you didn’t want to do anything in front of Sam or any of Sam’s family. But, fuck, watching him play with the boys and make himself at home with the Wilson’s had something growing in your chest.

And you wanted to see him blush. If only to end the day on a high note. So you waited and waited. Until finally, it was you and him sitting on the edge of the dock talking about nothing.

“Louisiana’s nice, isn’t it?” He asks quietly as he watches the sun set. You nod but don’t respond, too busy admiring his side profile.

The slope of his nose and outline of his lips has your mind jumping for joy that he’s yours. That he’s the man you get to wake up to and comfort. You smile when he turns to look at you, bemused by your silence. “What’s up, doll?”

You reach out to place a hand on his cheek. “Just admiring you. So pretty.” You keep your eyes focused on his face, expecting a blush at the term pretty instead of handsome. All that comes though is a snort. You drop your hand with a frown.

Bucky rests a hand on your waist and drags you closer to him. “Gotta do better than that, doll. You’ve been calling me pretty for months now. I’m used to it.”

You open your mouth in faux shock. “I have no idea what you mean.” You say in a pitched voice as you rest your head against his shoulder.

Bucky shakes with laughter. “I know you like making me blush. Gives you some sick power high.” He mumbles the words into your hair as he gives you a kiss.

You smile. You know there’s no menace behind his words. You can tell from his relaxed body language and quiet tone of voice your little mission doesn’t bother him all that much.

“Is that a challenge, Sergeant Barnes?” You glance up and Bucky looks down at you exasperated. For a moment, you think the red will appear and you’ll have won a bet before it’s even begun. But…

A smirk slides onto his face, something cocky and bright, that makes your stomach clench excitedly. “Calling me sergeant outside the bedroom isn’t gonna make me blush, sweetheart.”

You laugh softly and Bucky presses another kiss to your hair. “What do I win if you can’t make me blush by the end of the night?” He asks after a moment of silence.

You purse your lips and think for a moment. “What do you want?” You ask when nothing comes to mind. “Because I know when I win, you’ll be worshipping me.”

“I do that anyways.” He says immediately, making you laugh.

“I mean… I’ll be in charge.” You clarify with a raised eyebrow. Bucky bites down his lip to stop a smile and you hope that the blush appears just from the mention of you taking over for the night.

He shakes his head. “And if I win, you wear that suit Sam made you.” You watch as his eyes flicker over you body, definitely imagining the skin tight suit Sam had made as a joke after your complaints of how fictional heroes dressed. You had laughed and Sam had given you the real suit moments later, the skin tight suit had been stuffed into your closet and all but completely forgotten. 

“Sounds like a bet to me.” You pull back from his shoulder and hold your pinky out. “How about it, Barnes?”

Bucky leans down so his forehead rests against yours and with a wide smile he interlocks your pinky with his. “You’re on, sweetheart.”

The two of you just look at each other for a moment, until Sam’s voice breaks the comfortable silence. “Hey, weirdos! Come on, Sarah’s pulling out dessert!”

You scrunch your nose before hopping up. You don’t bother to pull Bucky with you, knowing his strength alone would probably end up sending you into the water. “Come on, baby, maybe we can steal some whip cream.” You wink as you walk backwards.

Bucky only laughs loudly and follows you. He reaches a hand out to stop you from walking off the dock and forces you spin around. “Strike one.” He whispers into your ear before running ahead of you to meet Sam.

You roll your eyes. Strikes weren’t a part of the bet and he knew it. He just wanted to psych you out. But you knew you could get that man to blush, you just had to find new material.

And you tried.

Leaning over when Sarah handed the ice cream and whispering as quietly as possible so only he could hear. “Forget the whip cream, ice cream might be a better bet.” Bucky looked down and shook his head before taking a bite of your chocolate.

Running your hand down his metal arm as you walked back to the Wilson’s. “Wonder what this arm could do to me.” Bucky had just looked down at you disappointedly. “You already know.” He hadn’t turned red, but you felt a little hotter.

You had even brought up the idea of sneaking in some adult time after the house was asleep. That had just gotten you a shocked stare as he pointed out the kids who slept upstairs.

It was getting late and you were getting desperate. It’s not that you really cared if you won or not, you know if there was something you truly wanted to try that Bucky wanted to as well, you would. You didn’t even mind the idea of wearing the suit for Bucky. The thought of wearing it even if you won had crossed your mind. You really just wanted to see his pretty face all red.

Then, the perfect thing happened. The kids were excited to mess around with Sam and Bucky. Both men were equally as excited to show off the shield and metal arm.

You hadn’t even started watching to find something to make Bucky blush, his bright smile and excited laughter as he and Sam pretended to fall to the boys power is what made you think.

Bucky wanted his own family. You knew for awhile Steve had been part of his family and when he come out of HYDRA, Steve was all that was left of it. He had you and he had the Wilson’s. But the two of you had spoken at length about your future and plans for your own family together. He was going on less and less missions and you had a steady job, so starting a family now made sense.

And you knew how you could bring it up and make him blush. It was an obvious win-win situation. 

“Buck!” You call out. His attention is immediately turned on you as he stands up straight and finds your eyes. You wave him over and laugh as the boys tease him about being in trouble.

You’re standing on the back stairs and end up being a step above him when he comes to a stop in front of you. His hands come to rest on your waist naturally as he looks up at you.

“What’s up, doll? Not in trouble, right?” He smirks and takes a step closer.

This time, you match his smirk with your own. You rest a hand on his shoulder and one on the back of his neck. “Not at all, Buck. Just wanted to tell you something.”

“Oh yeah?” He laughs gently. “You panicking? Cause I’m gonna win this bet?”

You hum in response and bend so you’re at eye level with him. “Was just thinking of how good you look with kids. I think you’ll make a great dad one day.”

The cockiness is wiped from Bucky’s face and replaced with a look much softer. “You think?” He asks quietly.

You nod excitedly. “Of course. I think you’ll make an amazing dad. I can’t wait to start a family with you.” You take a step down, so now you have to look up at Bucky. His eyes follow you happily. “In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

You pause and Bucky furrows his eyebrows. You can tell he’s a little confused on where you’re going and that now he’s not even thinking about your silly little bet. Then you smile. “All I’ve been thinking about all day is you putting a baby in me, Bucky Barnes. I want it so bad.” You say the words softly as you flutter your lashes and smile alluringly.

Bucky’s eyes widen and he takes a shocked step back before looking down at you. Then you see it, starting from the tips of his ears and spreading over his cheeks. Bucky Barnes turns redder than you’ve ever seen.

“You…” He stutters as he looks around, like he wants to make sure that nobody heard the words that have just come out of your mouth. “Evil woman.”

You take a step forward to press a kiss to his lips. You can tell by his embarrassed smile that he can feel the flush on his cheeks. “Guess I get to be in charge when we get home.” You take a step back and turn to head back inside.

You feel a hand grip your own and look back at him. “Are you serious? About wanting a baby?” He asks almost shyly, like he’s worried the answer might be no.

You can’t even allow him to entertain possibility. You nod quickly and excitedly. “Of course I was, my love. I wouldn’t pull that out just to win some silly bet.” He lets go of your hand and an excited smile spreads across both your faces.

“Yeah? Gonna let me put a baby in you?” He asks, this time more excitement than embarrassment seeping into his tone and taking over his face. He moves to wrap his arms around your waist and you do the same.

“Yeah. I just might.” You scrunch your nose up at him and he does the same in return. “Might even wear the suit for you anyways, since you’ll be doing me such a favor.” You wink and Bucky laughs again. The two of you have gotten the attention of Sam and his nephews, but you’re sure they can't hear anything you’re saying.

“Think it’s you doing the favor.” Bucky leans in close and lowers his voice. “Having my baby. I know you’ll look beautiful. Fuck. I’m about to get us a flight home tomorrow.”

You feel heat on the back of your neck and butterflies in your stomach as you process Bucky’s words. “Gonna build our own little family, Barnes. Better get ready.” You laugh giddily as you lean forward to rest your forehead against his.

Bucky closes the small gap between you with a hard kiss. You press your body against his as he holds you tighter. The two of you are completely unaware of Sam’s shocked face or his hands rushing to cover the two children’s eyes.

“Gross!” He yells out and the two of you spring apart with embarrassed smiles. Bucky’s cheeks turn red again and that only makes you want to kiss him more. “That’s gross. There are kids here. And me. Nobody wants to see that.”

Bucky presses a soft kiss to your cheek before pulling away entirely. “I’ll see you later?” He asks as you begin to head back inside.

You nod with a mischievous smile. “I’m gonna go look at flights. I’m ready to be home with you, Sergeant Barnes.”

You laugh when a light blush graces his face again before he spins around and rushes back over to Sam and the boys. Sam punches him on shoulder and you can see the beginnings of a lecture, so you turn and rush up the stairs and head inside.

You rest a hand on your stomach. You’re unsure if it’s to quell the excited butterflies or because of your new plan to have a baby, but either way it makes you smile as you think.

Bucky Barnes was pretty when he blushed. Even prettier when it was the thought of having a baby with you that made him do it.

You would have fun with this.

-

notes // try and tell me the idea of only u being able to make bucky blush doesn’t make u warm inside u CAN’T! 

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Finally done with this chapter and this arc. Can’t believe I have an entire post that’s just about Tsukauchi Naomasa. The discord server is so happy. There’s a lot of Naomasa love in there, and I mean, can you blame them? Dude is the straight man in a world of shounen bullshit. Gotta respect his ability to take everything happening in stride.

[No. 21 - In Each of Our Hearts]

We have brief passage of time wherein the police arrive at the USJ. We see Tsukauchi doing a headcount of the students while Sansa is directing the other police in containing and leading the villains out of the building. Naomasa is able to determine that, aside from the one with the messed up legs (Izuku), all of the students are unharmed. As if to confirm this, we get some wide shots of the class in two panels, showing everyone to be perhaps roughed up, but not really injured.

Hagakure puts her hand on Ojiro’s shoulder, commenting on how he’d ended up in the fire zone, and on his own at that, with a small congratulations. Ojiro admits he’d thought everyone was alone, and that he’d only survived with hit-and-run tactics. He then asks Hagakure where she was, and she points out Todoroki before stating she’d been in the landslide area, and that Todoroki’s crazy strong. We see Todoroki and his worry that he could have frozen her, while Ojiro in the background just says that he’s glad she’s okay.

Aoyama, of course, then tries to take center stage. Aoyama seems like he’s about to reveal where he’d been, but then turns to the other students to ask them if they have any ideas. 

He first tries the group consisting of Tokoyami, Koda, Kirishima, and Kaminari, but all of them are busy with a conversation. Tokoyami makes a comment on how he guesses ‘those lowlifes’ were spread out, waiting for them. Kirishima slams a fist into the palm of his other hand and complains about how the villains had been looking down on them because they were kids.

Then he turns to Tsuyu, asking her where she thinks he was. She plays along for a bit, asking him where, only for Aoyama to dramatically turn away and pose while stating that it’s a secret. Tsuyu turns her attention back to Tsukauchi, completely uninterested in his shenanigans. 

Tsukauchi states that they (likely meaning the police and pro heroes) are going to get the students back to the classroom for now, and that this is no time to take their statements. Tsuyu asks after Aizawa, and Naomasa gives her the details - both arms smashed to splinters, face is fractured. Thankfully, there’s no brain damage, but his eye sockets have been pulverized, so there’s a chance he may suffer long-term loss of vision - or so he hears. He seems to be on a call with the hospital at the time, or perhaps the station where all of this cleanup and investigation are being processed.

This is not exactly the welcome news Tsuyu or Mineta were looking for, both of them looking pretty torn up over it.

Tsukauchi continues down the list of injuries - Thirteen has terrible lacerations across her back and upper arms, but her life isn’t in danger. All Might’s injuries aren’t life threatening either; it’s likely that Recovery Girl’s healing will be enough for him, so he’s gone off to the nurse’s office instead. 

Ochako and Tenya, basically in unison, ask after Izuku, worry etched across their faces. Naomasa takes a second to place the name, but confirms that Izuku also made it to the nurse’s office in time. He then states that he happens to have business there himself, so he’ll leave the rest of the cleanup to Sansa. Sansa gives a salute and confirmation. 

(Meanwhile, Ochako and Ashido are both puzzled because Sansa’s not a dog. Don’t be rude, girls.)

Nedzu notes that UA will need to completely revamp their security systems. Midnight adds on how teleportation quirks are rare enough, and that it’s a shame one of them had to go and turn villain. 

Another officer shows up to report to Tsukauchi, stating that they’ve apprehended what seems to be a villain in a thicket about 400 meters from the USJ. Tsukauchi asks what condition the villain is in, and the officer states that the villain seems unharmed, and that he didn’t resist arrest. He also adds that, oddly enough, the villain isn’t responding in any way, and appears to be mute.

Tsukauchi turns to Nedzu, asking for the opportunity to go over the school with a fine tooth comb. Nedzu gives him the go-ahead, saying that some won’t be happy, but the police certainly have jurisdiction. He notes that investigations are Tsukauchi’s field of expertise, so he can do what he feels is necessary.

We transition to the nurse’s office, with Izuku and Toshinori both stuck in bedrest. And honestly, I just cannot get over how tall Toshinori is, like.

Look at that. If he picked up Izuku for a hug, Izuku’s feet would maybe reach his knees. 

Anyways. Plot. Yes. Recovery Girl tells the two of them that, the situation being what it was, she can’t really scold them this time. Toshinori says that he thinks he’s probably shortened his time limit again, and that he’ll be lucky if he can still get an hour a day. Izuku’s worried about him, but Toshinori shoves himself up into a sitting position with a groan, shrugging it off with a ‘what can you do? Bad things happen.’

The nurse’s office door opened, Tsukauchi letting himself in with an apology for the intrusion/interruption. He greets Toshinori as an old friend, while Toshinori’s surprised Tsukauchi is here. Izuku shoots up into a seated position, worried about if it’s okay for Toshinori to be seen while he’s not buffed up. Toshinori says it’s fine, then gets a bit silly about his introduction of Tsukauchi to Izuku.

Tsukauchi calling him out on the weird intro though. Like I said, this man really puts up with so much shounen-world bullshit as the straight man. 

Tsukauchi then bring up his reason for stopping by - not to rush Toshinori or anything, but he’d like to ask about the villains. Toshinori interrupts him to ask if the students are alright, as well as Aizawa and Thirteen. Tsukauchi’s quiet for a moment, before huffing a laugh. He says that besides Izuku, the students have nothing more than a few bumps and bruises. The two teachers are also out of danger for now. If the three hadn’t put their lives on the line, the students wouldn’t have made it out unscathed.

Toshinori acknowledges the report, but tells Tsukauchi he’s got one thing wrong, which draws a surprised frown from him. Toshinori goes on to explain how in that fight, the students put their lives on the line too. To be thrown into a real battle so young and survive - now these first years know how scary the wider world can be. Has he ever heard of such a class? The villains picked the wrong fight, because the members of class 1a are going to be might heroes indeed - and he’s going to make sure of it.

All Might really does have completely faith in this class, it’s incredible. 

As an aside, I know it’s probably a small editing mistake, but Izuku lying back down in one panel just to be back up in a seated position the next one is just. Fucking hilarious.

As a last weird bit. Tsukauchi just. Tapping his ear here? Either that’s a teeny foreshadowing of the quirk the fandom believes he has, or it’s just. A really weird gesture. 

(I want to clarify, for people who aren’t aware of it, but Horikoshi has never actually confirmed that Tsukauchi has a truth-sensing quirk. His sister’s quirk, which is touch-based lie detection, is confirmed in the Vigilantes side manga, but not his!)

We get some narration as time passes - classes were cancelled the next day (Thursday), but the class couldn’t rest easy. After that (presumably the day after, which would be Friday), we come back to all of the class waiting for morning homeroom to start. Tenya is vibrating as he directs the class, stating that morning homeroom’s about to begin, so everyone to their seats. Sero points out that everyone else is sitting, and that he’s the only one up. 

The classroom door opens to reveal a heavily bandaged Aizawa, who gives them a brief greeting as he wobbles his way in. The class is shocked that he’s back already, calling him an undeniable pro. Tenya, who finally is in his seat, snaps his hand up as he states he’s glad to see him doing well, which Ochako mutters about whether you can really call that ‘doing well.’

Aizawa shakes his head, stating that his welfare isn’t important, because their fight is far from over. The class is confused at that statement, with Katsuki, Izuku, and Mineta all questioning his statement. Aizawa clarifies himself - UA’s sports festival is fast approaching.

The class gasps, clamoring about how that’s so totally ordinary.

And with that, we’ve wrapped up the chapter and the USJ arc. I’ll probably do a few side posts before moving on to said arc, since the sports festival is 23 chapters long (ch 22-44) - longer than everything that’s happened up to this point in the manga!

If you have any questions / thoughts / observations you want to share, feel free to! I like hearing what y’all think about this early stuff, especially those of you who were anime-only and so seeing some of this stuff for the first time or used differently by the show.

[redeadepression]

Dutch’s Con | Arthur/F!Reader | Secret Cupid! ♥♥♥

Light Skinned, Plus Sized Female Reader!

~~

Happy Valentines Day!!!

This is my @rdr-secret-cupid gift for my cupid @thepalestcowboy / @asteroidbear I really hope you liked it. I used some of the things you suggested when you answered my ask. Sorry if it seems like I’m roasting you a little bit when Y/N is being self-deprecating!!! I swear I’m just repeating what you said and don’t worry spoiler alert. Arthur is SO into you. ;)

~~~~

Relationships: Arthur Morgan x Female Reader Words: 3443 Tags: Fluff, crushes, lewd thoughts, one bed trope, awkward Arthur (like, not smooth at all. Man’s game is rusty AF) Warnings: Reader is described very specifically to look like my cupid as this is a gift for her! :)

Summery: You and Arthur are sent on a recon mission, posing as newly-weds but *GASP* There’s only ONE bed???

~~~~

Arthur glowered at the back of his horse’s neck as she took long, laboured steps onwards towards the town of Oakseed.

He could tell the poor old girl was feeling the heat more than he was and he vowed to treat her to a sugar cube and good grooming once he arrived at his destination.

His eyes flicked to his left he heard you grumble under your breath. The humidity was suffocating, and he wondered briefly if you were suffering a little more than his poor old horse.

You were a relatively new addition to the gang but he felt he had gotten to know you well enough in the last few months for you both to work side by side. At least, that’s what he had told himself after the choice had been taken away.

You were to spend a few nights in the town closest to camp. Playing the part of newly-weds and scoping the scene for rich old bastards that would be easy to con.

Dutch had been so sure that you would work well together. Arthur had his doubts. He had voiced them vehemently and repeatedly but they’d fallen on deaf ears. Dutch had insisted that this recon mission was only to be pulled off by the two of you alone and when Hosea had put his paper down long enough to back him up, Arthur had realised he had lost.

He looked to you now, riding alongside him. The sweat he felt running down his own back was gathering on your neck and chest and the heat he felt burning against his bare arms was currently tinting your face a light shade of red.

You wiped at your forehead with the back of your palm. Smearing sweat and dirt together in a feeble attempt to stop it from dripping into your eyes.

You blinked furiously in the afternoon sun, wishing you’d thought to bring a hat. Even the sparse shade of the trees along the edge of the trail didn’t shield you from the unrelenting heat. You licked at your cracked lips. Gritting your teeth as you were reminded that you’d drank the last of your water not too long ago.

Flies buzzed around your face and you felt yourself grow agitated as you let go of the reigns briefly to swat at them.

You heard a sniff of laughter from your right and turned to face your traveling companion with an incredulous scowl.

“It ain’t that bad.” Arthur said simply, his tone light as he shooed a large fly away from his own face.

“I’m not from here… I ain’t used to the heat.” You croaked, throat dry from breathing in the dust that had been kicked up by your horses hooves.

“I can tell.” He replied plainly, mirth in his tone as he looked back to the road with a smirk on his lips.

You watched him for a moment, feeling silly for your frustration but unable to curb is as another fly made a beeline for one of your nostrils. You swatted at it, growling angrily and jolting slightly as your horse decided she’d had enough.

She snorted angrily, hooves stomping the ground in agitation as she began to disobey you.

You were never fantastic with horses to begin with. But after your old faithful had passed away on a mission, you’d purchases the first horse you came across just to be able to get back to the gang.

She was moody and stubborn. She could tell you were inexperienced and liked to test your control. That coupled with the stifling heat, you were surprised she had tolerated you this long.

You held the reigns tight, thighs clenching onto your saddle as you cooed her softly and tried desperately to stay in your seat.

Arthur was at your side in an instant. His own horse exhaled softly as he steered her towards you. The large mare not batting an eye as your own horse fidgeted uncomfortably at the proximity of the other animal.

“Here.” Arthur said gently, his calf brushing against yours as he leaned in against your side. Leather covered hands with bare fingers encompassed yours as he showed you how to pull the reigns more efficiently. “Like this.” He instructed simply, pulling back on your hands and showing you where to hold them.

“It’s alright girl.” He purred, directed at your horse. “It’s okay.” He assured; your horse seeming to calm at his words alone. His firm grip on your reigns slowing her to a stop. You couldn’t help but swallow thickly at the way his voice reverberated in your ear. “There.” Arthur whispered, slowly handing you back the reigns and turning to face you.

"You gotta’ show her you’re in charge.” He said quietly, voice uncharacteristically gentle.

You nodded in understanding. His face only inches from yours as he pulled his hands away. You turned back to the road quickly, Arthur doing the same. Clearing his throat as he directed his mare back to her side of the road.

Your horse listened to your direction as you subconsciously guided her a little farther from Arthur than you had been before. It was as if you could still feel the heat radiating off his brawny form from your place across the trail.

“Thanks.” You said softly, smiling through your embarrassment as Arthur made a noise of acknowledgment.

The rest of the ride was silent. The soft clip of your horses hooves against the dirt filled the space between you both as you passed through the gateway entrance of the small town.

Arthur directed you towards the small hotel on the end of the main street. He’d stayed there once before and knew where he was going.

You hitched your horses at the post to the left of the hotel and jumped down into the red dirt with a thump. Disturbing the dust and coughing slightly as you breathed it in.

Arthur moved to stand beside you and hovered as you removed the supplies you needed for your stay.

“I can’t wait for a bath.” You sighed as you turned to him, your bag in your arms.

“Mm.” He hummed in agreement. Eyeing your possessions coolly before opening his mouth to speak.

“Listen.” He said awkwardly, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke. “We should probably only get the one room.” He said clumsily, making your brow raise at his forwardness.

Arthur watched your face chance, furrowing his own brows before raising them both in surprise as he realised his mistake. “For… For the con.” He explained in a hurried whisper. “Just… for authenticity o’course.” He added quickly, holding out his hands in front of him.

“Of course.” You replied quickly.

“Right.” Arthur nodded.

“Sure.” You smiled with a shrug, trying to break the tension.

Arthur nodded again, clearing his throat uncomfortably as he pulled his hat down further to cover the flush on his cheeks.

You stood there for a moment, unsure what to do now as you waited for him to take the lead. Arthur seemed to follow your train of thought, turning quickly and walking towards the entrance of the hotel.

“Don’t worry.” He chuckled, stopping as you drew closer to the front door. “ You can have the bed.” He clarified.

You stopped just behind him, laughing nervously.

“Oh, I don’t mind.” You said earnestly when you realised he hadn’t been joking.

“Please. I insist.” Arthur said firmly, holding up his hands once more before turning back towards the hotel. You watched him go, frowning at the way he had spoken before sighing inwardly and following in his stead.

“Okay.” You mumbled, fully aware he couldn’t hear you.

You supposed you should have known better than to put yourself out there like that. Arthur was nice enough but he was the type of man that had women throwing themselves at him without him needing to try.  You weren’t sure you were even close to his type.

You were on the larger side and your skin was very light considering the amount of time you spent in the sun. All the woman you’d seen Arthur chatting too in the last few months were incredibly thin and at least three shades tanner than yourself.

You cast your gaze onto the ground as you followed Arthur up the front steps of the hotel. A sickening feeling of rejection sinking to the bottom of your stomach as you resigned yourself to keeping your feelings for him locked deep inside.

Arthur stopped in front of you suddenly and you looked up at his handsome face inquisitively as he held out his hand to you.

You took it without thinking, letting yourself be pulled inside and silently swooning at the feel of his fingers intertwined with yours.

Arthur stopped at the front desk, nodding to you once and reminding you without words of the part you were to play in this con as you both waited for the man behind the counter to notice you.

He looked up within a few seconds and you watched in awe as Arthur flashed his charming smile at him.

“Hello.” He began simply, his voice a long drawl as he forced a chipper tone. “The name’s Arthur Callahan.” He said confidently, flashing a toothy smile as his arm slid around your waist as easily as if he had it done it a thousand times before. “And this is my wife Clementine.” He purred, pulling you against his side as he looked back to the man behind the desk. “We’ll need a room for the night and the lady would like a bath.” He ordered, placing a few notes on the desk in front of him and sliding them across to the clerk with the palm of his hand.

The clerk’s eyes widened as he jumped to attention.

“Of course sir.” He agreed, snatching the money roughly from the counter and stuffing it into his pocket. “There’s a room  ready at the end of the hall.” He said cheerfully as he placed a key on the counter and slid it into Arthur’s waiting hand. The burly man caught it with ease. “Our bathing facilities are this way ma’am.” The clerk continued, gesturing in the other direction and waiting for you to move first.

You smiled in response. Turning to Arthur and placing one of your bags into his outstretched hand. He had been waiting patiently, as a doting husband would. You caught yourself flushing as the older man turned away with your belongings.

Even if it was all one giant fantasy… You could get used to this.

 ~

 Once you had bathed you headed towards your room. You knocked softly and waited for Arthur to answer. After a minute of silence you tried the handle only to find it still locked. You knocked again, waiting a few seconds before returning to the front desk.

The man there informed you that Arthur had headed back outside after placing your belongings in your room. You frowned in confusion, following in Arthur’s footsteps and walking back outside towards the horses.

You didn’t have to look far. Stopping in your tracks as you caught sight of him. Large, muscular arms flexing in the late afternoon sun as he ran a grooming brush over your horse’s rump. You watched for a second, smiling involuntarily before walking closer.

He turned at the sounds of your footsteps, pausing his work and looking you over briefly.

You could have sworn you’d seen his face change momentarily. Cheeks growing rosy as he turned away from you and began to speak.

“Hope you don’t mind.” He said casually, petting horse’s side as he continued to groom her. “I gave Bo a once over and I figured YH/N could use one too.”

“Thank you.” You said quickly, guilt rising in your stomach that you hadn’t even considered your horse. You’d been so keen to get yourself clean you hadn’t even thought about your poor horse that had carried you all the way there.

“Don’t feel bad.” Arthur said quietly, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “I don’t usually go to this much effort. I just didn’t feel too much like sitting around in the room.”

“I wasn’t feeling bad.” You lied.  “I was just coming out to give her some attention.” You said bluntly as you stepped up next to Arthur and petted your horse’s neck.

She snorted softly, looking to you for a moment before returning her attention to the food Arthur had left at her feet.

Arthur looked you up and down once more, quickly turning his attention back to the horse as you turned your attention on him.

“What?” You asked frankly, eyes roaming his form as he shrugged in response.

“Nothin’.” He answered, tucking the grooming brush back into his satchel and dusting off his hands. “Just don’t look like you was about to come outside and do some grooming.” He snickered, gesturing towards your fresh, clean clothes and damp, towel dried hair.

“Well I was.” You lied again, voice a little more firm than you’d have liked, causing him to smirk in response.

“Okay.” He conceded, holding up a hand to calm you before giving his horse a quick pet and turning back to the hotel. “it’s getting’ late.” He mumbled, gesturing with his head towards the door. “Should probably head to bed.”

You nodded in agreement, watching as a smile formed on his lips. You cocked your head in question and he chuckled softly.

“Well, you’ll head to bed.” He laughed. “I’ll head to floor, I suppose.”

You barked out a laugh, covering your mouth quickly and turning away to hide your embarrassment. Arthur seemed to feel accomplished in making you laugh. Smiling wider to himself as he headed inside.

You followed along behind him, feeling like an idiot.

 ~

 Arthur opened the door and allowed you to move into the room first. You were surprised to see he’d already set up his bedroll on the floor next to the double bed in the middle of the room. You frowned at his haste as he locked the door behind you both.

You slipped off your boots and left them at the end of the bed. Crawling on top of the covers and positioning yourself on the left side, closest to Arthur’s bedroll as he took off his own boots.

You stared at your hands, eyes flicking up to see what was taking so long and shooting back down to your lap when you realised Arthur was unbuttoning his shirt.

You licked your lips, eyes darting back up once more. You inhaled softly as he pulled the fabric over his shoulders. The muscles in his broad chest shifting with him as he let the shirt fall to the floor and his hands moved to his belt.

You looked away quickly, swallowing hard as you listened to the clinking of his buckle as he worked the leather out of the loops in his jeans.

A soft clunk signified it had joined his shirt on the floor and you scolded yourself for having the urge to look up at him once more.

You resisted the temptation. Picking at the dirt under your fingernails as you heard him approach. A small, strained grunt accompanying his decent to his bed on the ground.

The silence in the room was deafening. You suddenly found yourself wishing you had brought a book. Anything to look at other than your own hands, the ceiling or… Arthur.

You turned to him intending to say your goodnights, surprised to find him studying you with curious eyes.

“What?” You asked a little too quickly, feeling flustered at his gaze.

“Ain’t you gonna get comfortable?” He asked, gesturing towards your outfit and making you look down at yourself uncertainly.

“I am comfortable.” You answered, confused.

“I mean, more comfortable.” Arthur laughed, hands gesturing to his own bare chest and then back to you. “It ain’t comfortable to sleep in a shirt and jeans. I’ve tried.” He chuckled, feeling inexplicably flustered.

“I’m fine.” You answered tersely. Suddenly extremely irritated at the feel of your jeans cutting into your waste and feeling suffocated by the neck of your shirt. But the thought of stripping down to your undergarments in front of Arthur was too much to bear in that moment.

He already wasn’t interested in what he saw. No point in going out of your way to show him even more of your body.

“Okay.” Arthur replied with a shrug. “Just saying. You can if you want.” He remarked casually. “I ain’t leering you know?” He chuckled awkwardly, staring at his hands as the words left his mouth.

You smiled weakly, unable to stop yourself as the words fell from your own lips.

“Trust me, I know.” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat at the admission.

Arthur looked to you with furrowed brows, blue eyes filled with confusion as you turned away from him.

“What you mean by that?” He asked quietly, frown deepening as you shook your head at your own stupidity.

“Nothin’.” You said softly. “Nevermind.” You added as you slid down in the covers. Wishing for nothing more than to be able to pull them over your head and hide.

Arthur watched you for a moment longer before following your queue and slipping under his own blankets. Staring at the ceiling as he tried to figure out what you had meant.

Perhaps you were being sarcastic. Had you noticed the way he’d looked at your earlier? Had he made you feel uncomfortable with his gaze?

He mentally scolded himself. He had tried so hard to hide is quick glances but of course you had seen the way he was looking. He couldn’t help himself. The way your freshly washed hair framed your face was intoxicating.

Not to mention your choice of jeans. He’d been sure to walk in front of you on the way back to the room so he didn’t have to spend the entire time staring at the way the denim hugged your ass in those pants. They were his favourite of all the pants you owned. He couldn’t help but look twice when you stepped up next to him outside.

A silence descended upon the both of you as Arthur found himself lost in thoughts he would be ashamed of later. He cursed himself for making you feel uneasy. Selfishly wishing he could have kept his eyes to himself so he’d had the chance to see you in less clothing.

He wondered what kind of chemise you’d wear to bed if you were alone. Or perhaps you only wore a brassiere.

Arthur thought as his tongue darted out to lick as his dry lips.

He swallowed audibly, rolling to face away from you as felt the heat that had been rising on his cheeks travel lower, down his neck and towards more intimate places.

He’d already made you feel uncomfortable more than once today. He didn’t intend to be caught red-handed thinking sordid things about your body or more specifically, the things he would do to your body given the chance.

He was suddenly extremely grateful for his place on the floor. Unsure he would be able to hide his attraction to you if faced with the reality of sharing a bed.

He had found it hard enough to slip an arm around your waist at the front desk. To remain composed and casual while being that close to you. It had been torture.

He’d told Dutch from the beginning that they wouldn’t be able to sell the story. This con was going to fail. But without admitting his crush he was unable to give a strong reason why you two wouldn’t work well together.

He was pretty good at playing a part when he needed to but he wasn’t sure a person that had spent weeks dancing around his feelings for you could play the part of your new husband successfully without things getting awkward.

Dutch had put a lot of emphasis on how important it was that the two of you were in harmony to pull of your con. It was important that people believed you were in love. He stressed how imperative to the mission it was for you to be openly affectionate with one another and…

Arthur’s mouth fell open as realisation washed over him.

“Dutch you sly bastard.” He growled into the darkness. His hand coming up to rest over his eyes as he kicked himself for being so bloody stupid. “There’s no mission.” He whispered angrily, suddenly full of regret for his insistence at sleeping on the floor.

End.

~~~

Thanks to anyone that reads this! I hope you enjoyed it! Would love to hear your thoughts. ♥

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 10 - The Good News

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Nothing much, just fluff

Summary: The reader and Joel, well, seal the deal.

Word Count: 4.405

Author's Note: Okay so my dumbass mixed the dates in the previous chapter and although I fixed it on the other post, I just wanna clarify that this is December 2035! I almost screwed up the story line a lil bit but, no worries, it should be fine now 😅 Apologies again for late updates, I promised you all I'd see to the end of this series and I will, trust me!

Enjoy!

You weren't expecting him to propose.

Oh no ma'am that was the last thing you were expecting.

But that didn't stop you from whispering a soft 'yes', of course. It took you a moment to process because you were caught off guard, but without hesitation, you placed a tender kiss to his lips after your answer.

He knew the idea of getting married in the middle of an apocalypse was a silly idea and the whole labeling yourselves thing even more so, but he was more than relieved when you said yes. The circumstances you were living in (being lucky enought to live an almost normal life in Jackson) made it a bit more available for a an in-front-of-god's-eyes kinda ceremony; you were even fine with calling him husband and him calling you wife - you didn't even have to get married for that if you were honest. Your feelings towards each other were deep and true, you just had to label it without official papers.

You could tell Joel was scared, though. He confessed that he'd been only thinking about proposing to you, but after everything that happened, he knew he might not get another chance at doing so. You understood better just how scared to death he was all that time you were captured by Axel, then in the infirmary where he thought you may not survive it.

There was also the tiny, insignificant issue of his ex-wife, of course. It had been more than 25 years since her and you weren't worried about it at all, obviously. Tommy let you have an insight to their relationship from time to time (brief but still eye opening) and you knew everything you had to know - it wasn't pretty, and you couldn't help but think Joel's mind often wandered to his old memories, which perhaps made him feel insecure. You didn't say a thing about it, of course. If he wanted to talk to you, you'd be more than willing to listen.

In the end, he chose not to, even until the wedding day, so all you could do was assure him over and over again just what a perfect husband he was going to be, without touching the other subject. He was the ultimate family man, according to the younger Miller and you could see that too. You loved him for who he was, dearly, and that's really all that mattered.

Breaking the news to the close circle- to Tommy, Maria and Ellie, was delightful. Ellie was a little bewildered, but still happy. Tommy was surprisingly too enthusiastic, insisted you made a ceremony, despite your and Joel's protests.

"We don't want no fuss, Tommy, we already talked about it and decided not to," Joel gently traced your fingers with his thumb as he held your hand in his.

"Aw c'mon, this is big- for the both of you!" Tommy chuckled. "You're the town's sweethearts, not many people have beef wih either of you and, plus, it'll give folk some break and a reason to celebrate."

You reasoned with it and decided to do it, but without the usual formalities. Naturally, it was impossible to get all dolled up for a wedding with the traditional dress and suit in the post-outbreak world. Plus, the weather was going to be very cold by the time you had healed completely, or enough to stand on your feet without any help.

...The remaining 2% who helped you around was either Ellie, or Jesse, who was absolutely thrilled to see you out of the infirmary and when he heard about the big news. As soon as Ellie brought him over to visit you at Joel and your (now officially) shared house, he bombarded you with questions like when you were going to heal completely and join patrols again, or when the wedding was, which made you really happy and appreciate him. Dina was, well, very happy too but kept telling Jesse to Shut up! Let her rest, she just got out! Sweethearts they both were, probably your favourite kids in Jackson after Ellie.

Speaking of Ellie...

You got to spend more time with her again once you moved back in. You sometimes had your meals together while Joel was away on patrol, but whenever the three of you were together, Ellie got quiet. She sometimes wouldn't say a single word from the beginning to the end unless you made her talk, but you stopped pushing it after a while, as you realised how tense she'd get and how she'd start to play with her fingers. You wanted to ask her about it, but you also didn't want to push her; she always came to you when something bothered her, so you decided to be quiet about it and let her come to you.

By December, you were capable of standing on your own feet for the most part. Although not mentally, you had healed a lot and what was left of the attack were a couple of bruises. Your nightmares, well, they were reoccurring and continuing, but with Joel by your side, it was easier to handle than it was when you were in the infirmary and alone. It took you a long, long time, but you felt like you were finally ready to move on.

What was done, was done. Axel had killed your family, you thought he died and focused on your grieving; he turned out to be alive years later, almost killed you and your husband, so you dealt with the only option you had left: Killing him. Was it... necessary precautions? Or was it just revenge? He was clearly looking for you, he somehow managed to track you to the outskirts of Jackson, so really it was either him or you - a group of murderers or a town filled with innocent people.

You came to the conclusion that, by torturing him to death, you were taking advantage of 'getting rid of him for the sake of the town'. Everywhere he went, he brought destruction, he surely would've attacked the town if you hadn't killed him. While sparing Jackson from a dangerous threat, you also put an end to a vendetta you didn't know existed until then.

You didn't feel good, much as you were relieved that he wasn't going to be a trouble for the town and you anymore, it didn't feel good at all. Like you'd said before, he had ruined you.

Even though you were going to get married, the weight of that day still pulled you down from time to time. Days grew shorter and nights turned longer, but without being able to help around town to busy yourself, you thought too much about it. Joel noticed this of course and did everything you asked of him: From asking him to stay in occasionally, to giving you some space.

You knew Joel was scared when you pushed him away, which was on very rare occasions. He was scared that you wouldn't want to marry him, or worse, do something stupid. But, you needed him more than ever. It never crossed your mind once, to cancel the wedding and move back to your house. You loved him and nothing changed that: That's what you had told him too, with a genuine smile.

"I hate it when I don't have you around," You'd admitted two weeks before the wedding day, cupping his cheek. "I hate it so much when I push you away and- and seeing you upset because of it- but I wouldn't do it if I didn't need it."

"I know Dolly," He kissed the inside of your hand which was cupping his cheek.

"I love you, Joel," You grinned as he peppered kisses across your knuckles. "And I'm not planning on not marrying you. It's gonna take something real awful for me to not marry you."

You hadn't seen him smile this big ever since you replied yes to his proposal, he then chuckled: "Lord, you even started to talk like me."

Nothing that scared Joel happened. On the same day you shared your first kiss, you got married; Tommy was right too, the winter was taking it's toll on the townsfolk and they needed something that would take their minds off of things. Despite a few figures you weren't exactly fond of but had no actual beef with, it all went accordingly.

They got the both of you as pretty as you could get in the middle of an apocalypse. In Jackson, there were a variety of resources of pretty much everything - wedding dresses weren't one of them. You were dressed more like you were going to a cocktail and you felt a little embarrassed, Joel's situation was no different.

"This is ridiculous," He complained. "Last I checked, I didn't gotta shave for a wedding- it's not a rule or anythin'."

"Well..." Maria insisted as she fixed up your hair.

"Darlin', you want me to shave?" Joel abruptly turned to you, a brilliant smirk creeping up his face.

"No honey," You smiled sweetly, a little exaggerated to tease Maria. You agreed that this whole dress up was ridiculous as well. "I love your beard- don't ever shave it in fact."

"Ugh, you two are infuriating," Maria sighed, defeated.

"Perfect match," Tommy agreed as he snickered from the doorway.

"It's December, snowing outside- cold as fuck and you want me to wear a dress." You groaned.

"Don't you make the sweetest bride, Dolly..."

"Shut up Tommy."

Most of the town was there, except for the people in the infirmary and the people who were assigned for patrols. You and Joel were placed on a table away from most people, creating enough distance to make space for a not-as-big-as-Maria-liked kind of dance floor. The speakers were set, lights were up and the cozy atmosphere mostly eased your stress. You kept getting the feeling that something bad was going to happen, because surely this was too good to be true: You couldn't afford to have good things for too long, something terrible ought to happen-

"Hey," You suddenly felt Joel's hand envelop yours in his. "Will you relax?" Your forced smile, which was mostly you pursing your lips, didn't convince him; he leaned in a little and whispered softly: "If this gets too boring and you promise to at least act like you're having a good time, maybe I'll help you relax..."

His tone sent a shiver down your spine. You loved it when he suggested a quickie or talked dirty to you in public, soft promises of how he wanted to bite the insides of your thighs before diving his tongue into your depths - a teaser of what you were going to get as soon as you were alone.

Just before you could say anything, a familiar redhead with a brunette by his side appeared by your table, making the both of you tense up: "Hey, you two..."

"Hey Bruce," You forced an awkward smile. "Walt..."

Bruce was a small figure, comparing to the other patrol leaders- especially next to Walt. He had jet black hair, big eyes matching the colour of his hair and an oval face. He was always clean-shaven, which made him look a whole lot younger than he was. Him and Walt were really good friends, that's why you assumed he didn't like you too much, given your history of ups and downs with the redhead... Too loyal of a friend, if you said so yourself, but you didn't care.

"Don't you look handsome," You heard Bruce comment, looking at Joel, making you look between him, your husband and Walt. For a moment you thought he was joking, but the suggestive tone in his voice made you raise a brow.

"Uhm... thanks?" Joel replied awkwardly, a little confused because he looked exactly the same, the only difference was he was wearing something that resembled a suit. "It's nothing new though..."

Walt was giving Bruce a look too, which the man in question noticed and immediately spoke: "I mean, it's hard to see you two in anything other than pants and a t-shirt... You both look different, I mean-"

"Yeah, it's nice for a change," Walt immediately interrupted. "We just wanted to say congratulations."

"Thanks," You offered a soft smile and a long blink in acknowledgement. Just then, someone called for Robert and he left with a sincere smile. "Is he okay? He looked nervous."

"Yeah, he's a lil' on edge, dunno why," Walt scratched the back of his neck, although his face indicated that he knew exactly why. "Anyways," He cleared his throat and turned to your husband. "I wanted to say that, I know we got off on the wrong foot Joel and, I also know that we haven't been on very good terms," He looked between the both of you. "But I just want to you both to know that I'm very happy for y'all... I- I hope-"

"Joel!" Ellie suddenly appeared, to the left where he sat. "You need to come with me, don't ask why."

"Uh-?" Before he could even process, Ellie was tugging him by the arm and off the chair. He gave a look to Walt: "'scuse me."

You both gave Joel a quizzical look as Ellie dragged him away. Walt chuckled lightly, scratched the back of his neck once more and politely asked: "You mind if I sit here?" There was a chair by your side where Maria was supposed to sit when she announced you as married. You nodded and turned to the right as he sat towards the edge: "Look, (Y/N), I know we couldn't talk properly after what happened to you... I came to visit but, well, Joel has a way of putting me on spot."

You chuckled and nodded: "Yeah, I heard. It's okay though, I appreciate it."

"He said you would..." He grinned shyly. "You really love him, huh? 'Cause you sure as hell have him wrapped around your finger."

Your smile grew wider and you nodded: "Yeah, I do. I- I'd tell you more but I don't really wanna cry on my wedding day," Your voice cracked a little. "As best as I can, anyway. I'm too overwhelmed with- everything, y'know?"

"I can guess," He laughed, a bit more comfortable now that he was sure you weren't hostile towards him. "You know I'm... I'm really glad you're- I- ah, I'm very happy for you. Sincerely. You two are just... perfect for each other."

"Oh shush," You looked up and blinked several times. "I'm glad makeup doesn't exist anymore!" He laughed a little more, his dimples showing themselves under his red beard. "Hey... thank you, though. Let's uh- let the past stay in the past, yeah?"

Walt looked at you in surprise for a moment, then finally processed what you said: "Oh, s-sure, definitely. Those awkward chats were killing me..."

"Yeah," You smiled apologetically. You had to talk sooner or later, you sometimes got paired up for patrol and you had to interact to make everything work. Slowly, it turned into casual 'how are you's, but stayed that way until the wedding day.

You smiled at each other for a moment, then he finally nodded and got up: "Congrats, again. You two make a good couple. A power couple, in fact."

"Okay okay," You giggled and shooed him away with your hand. You watched him walk back to his table: The fact that he seemed to have gotten over you was a delight. Just then, Joel appeared and sat by your side, taking a seat beside you.

"You two good, then?" He asked with a netural expression.

"Yeah, you two, too," You smiled at him. He looked unimpressed, so you gently placed a hand on his thigh: "He was genuinely happy for us, Joel, relax..." Then, at your own words, you smirked devilishly, giving his thigh a squeeze. "If you act like you're happy about it, maybe I'll help you relax~"

He gasped when your fingertips brushed against his crotch lightly, the both of you gazing at each other's lips then simultaneously making eye contact: "I need to relax," Joel growls. "Now."

Your eyes widened at his tone of his voice, giving him a big, excited smile; only to be interrupted by none other than Tommy, who probably knew what you two were planning. He was holding a microphone in his hand, he walked up and into the space between where you and your husband sat: "Right... Today's a good day, folks." Almost everyone directed their attention to where the three of you were: "It's been around two and a half years since my big brother showed up at our door with Ellie and a lovely lady- none other than our (Y/N)... I say it was about goddamn time they got married." Tommy snickered and made the people laugh. "No really, I remember the day I met her," He turned to you: "She had a knife against Eugene's throat and we were only a second away from killing each other-"

"I forgive you!" Eugene suddenly called out to you across the room and you hid your face with both of your hands as the people continued laughing.

"Something fierce, she was- still is!" Tommy continued. "Don't make no mistake about that... She'll tear the whole country down to do what's right." He smiled at you sincerely: "I've spent most of my life with Joel and I've only known her for around two years but, I can confidently say that these two were made for each other."

You and Joel shared a look: No one in town had seen you smile this big- ever, you thought. Even Joel, who had seen your smiles countless times, was looking at you as if he'd seen you smile for the first time and he was falling in love with you again. Tommy's words meant the world to you: You had no family left and Joel only had his younger brother, and you had his only family's blessing. He'd seen the best and worst in both of you, knew what Joel had gone through all those years ago and he still claimed you as the perfect match for Joel. The realisation hit like a tidal wave and your eyes filled with tears. Chuckling, you spoke: "Okay, enough."

That earned another round of aww's and laughter. You looked at Ellie for a moment and saw the content spread across her face - despite the growing awkwardness between her and Joel, she still cared about him deeply. The look on her face even gave you some sort of hope that, whatever was going on between them was going to get solved soon. Everything felt so perfect and normal for a moment.

"Yup, now, y'all gotta dance," Tommy smirked.

Joel didn't look too pleased, being the centre of attention while doing such a simple yet special thing with you. You Have Been Loved started playing suddenly and your eyes shone brightly, then he led you to the makeshift dance floor. You pressed your chest against his lightly and your hands met behind his neck, while he repeated the motion around your waist. You slowly started to sway to the rhythm and he watched you fondly.

"I love this song," You muttered and looked into his eyes, beaming up at him.

"I know," He grinned.

A minute or two passed, then Tommy appeared with a video camera in his hands: "Here are the lovebirds..." You both smiled at the camera with such genuineness that even Tommy felt your shared happiness, even more so when he captured the moment with a camera. "Don't tire her out too much, big brother. It's my turn after you."

You giggled at his comment and Joel raised a brow at him: "Why is everyone so appreciative of my wife all of a sudden? At our wedding?"

"It's the dress," You bit your lip and smirked.

"Tsk," Joel looked elsewhere with a chuckle and it gave you an opportunity to kiss his cheek, then place your chin on his shoulder. He welcomed your body gently into his embrace and wrapped his arms even more around your waist, while you connected yours around his shoulders.

"Shoo, Tommy, let us dance in peace," You waved your hand in a go away motion and he did as you asked.

Now it was just you and Joel.

If I was weak, forgive me

But I was terrified

You brushed my eyes with angels wings, full of love

The kind that makes devils cry

So these days

My life has changed

And I'll be fine

But she just sits and counts the hours

Searching for her crime

Many songs played and other couples took you and your husband's place on the dance floor not so long after. Tommy kept his word and danced with you to a short song, where he expressed how grateful he was for you. He deeply cared for Joel, definitely more than he led on and that's when he told you once more that you were good for the older Miller- that you completed him. A picture of you two was taken right after he had said: "Welcome to the family- officially."

A few more songs later, it was Jesse who asked for a dance, much to everyone's amusement.

"If you're trying to make me go easier on you on training days, it's not gonna work Jesse," You smiled at him.

"No ma'am," He spoke seriously, then gave you a silly grin. "Not even a little?"

"Don't push your luck, rookie."

"Are you trying to make a move on my wife, son?" Joel growled, messing with him. Jesse however didn't understand that Joel was just joking, so you both laughed at the poor boy's tense expression.

"C'mon then," You got up from your seat, actually feeling a little tired already, then patted a red-faced Jesse on the shoulder. He'd grown quite tall over the years: He reached and maybe became a little taller than Joel.

You were Jesse's mentor ever since you started taking up patrol duty and training. He had moved to Jackson with his parents only a few months before you had. Being trained in the army and serving for almost 20 years, you were in charge of training new comers and teens who wanted to sign up - Jesse and Dina were assigned to you at first, until Dina switched to Eugene some months ago.

Jesse was enthusiastic about training and he was still very young, which helped him progress better. On a side note, his parents were lovely. Dina would occasionally tease that he had a crush on you, like a silly little teacher crush, then she'd joke about how she was jealous of you because he never admired her like he did you. You'd just smile, feeling like your age and tell Joel about it later.

You loved both of them as if they were your own, while being reminded of the kids in the prepatory school back in the Boston QZ. Guilt occasionally gnawed at your insides whenever the thought lingered too long on your mind. You really wished you could break them out and bring them here, give them the life and childhood they deserved. You kept telling yourself, like Joel, that there was nothing you could do about them, but still...

That was how fate worked, you supposed. If you hadn't been ambushed and Alpha One had survived, you may have never met Joel and Ellie, arrive in Jackson and, most importantly, you wouldn't be sitting across Joel when he took you as his wife.

Perhaps, there was no way- no alternative scenario about bringing your family to this safe haven. To have them sit there amongst the crowd and cheer you as you kissed your husband after his sister-in-law announced you married. Oh, how badly you wanted them by your side that day: Kurt sending death threats to Joel if he ever broke your heart (jokingly, of course), Maxim and Amanda encouraging you, Robin and Cole trying to tell embarrassing stories of your younger years...

Felicity and you having a talk.

Felicity.

She'd be the one to style your hair (maybe Robin too), fit you in your dress and of course, the first person to hear about the good news. She'd take your hands in hers, smile at you, then hug you.

You'd give anything to hear her voice again, to have her talk to you- even just for five minutes.

Nevertheless, you were still grateful for the new life that was given to you by the man who held your hand and smiled as you spoke to the microphone: Alright folks, thank you for coming... Training starts early tomorrow, so get some sleep! A new chance, given to you by the man made love to you in the following hours and who now slept next to you peacefully. The man, who introduced you to a new family and gave you hope that, in these times you lived in, there was still love and humanity left.

You studied Joel's relaxed features as the sun slowly crawled up the horizon. He was sleeping facedown, muscular arms partly under his pillow and face turned to you as he breathed through his nose slowly; his naked body disappeared under the thick blanket, meeting yours.

The alarm on your side of the bed went off minutes later, waking him as it did. He met your half lidded gaze with his own and mumbled something that resembled a good morning. You smiled and whispered it back, then watched his eyes close again. Your smile grew wider instinctively, then you tapped his right arm (the arm on your side) gently. He immediately turned his body towards you in the bed and opened his arms for you: "Ten minutes at most."

He nodded sleepily as you pushed yourself into his warm, naked embrace, placing yourself against his body, head right below his chin. Your arms found themselves on his waist and you sighed contentedly, placing a kiss on his collarbone.

Perfect. That's how everything was when he was involved.

As you stayed in his embrace, your eyelids automatically pushed themselves down. Inhaling his scent and listening to his heartbeat, you thought to yourself before dozing off:

Huh. Maybe it really was meant to be.

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[iwantitiwriteit]

Slow Burn: Act I - Part 5 cont.

The Lip Sync Battle cont.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Famous!Reader

Summary: Growing tensions between you and Chris overflow in the most musical of battles.

Warnings: Profanity, drunken silliness

Notes: Oh my fucking gosh, I fucking finished it! This part was a BEAST to write! It’s hella long so it’ll be in two posts. Before you dive in, set the mood with the moodboard + music specially curated to go with this part! THIS IS A CONTINUATION Read the previous part here.

There stood Chris, muted mic in hand, pink feather boa around his neck, dramatically lip syncing his way through “Big Shot” by Billy Joel. He pranced around the stage, miming the lyrics with absolute conviction, engaging the gawking crowd. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Scott grabbed your hand and pulled you down the stairs to get a closer look. A crowd had formed on the dance floor in front of the stage, so you and Scott observed from the bottom steps that were a good twenty feet from it. This is close enough.

Chris was really going for it. Gesticulating and strutting, but it’s clear he isn't fully comfortable with performance. Nevertheless, he was having fun. He may be annoying as hell, but he does know how to have a good time. Just as you were mentally giving him props, he locked eyes with you, and a small smirk appeared on his face. What’s he playing at here?

Chris pointed at you as he performed the last chorus:

You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha?

All your friends were so knocked out

You had to have the last word, last night

You’re so much fun to be around

Is he… calling me out me right now? It did add up. He said he thought you were arrogant and a diva, to your face no less. But now he was slander serenading you in a public forum. What the hell is my life right now?

When the song ended, the crowd applauded and Chris bowed, but before he could exit the stage, the host from earlier pulled him closer. You didn’t care to hear what he had to say and started back up to your party’s section. Before you could even make it half way up, you felt a harsh spotlight on your back, causing you to freeze in place.

“Where are you going, sweetheart?” You turn around at the sound of the host’s voice. “You’re not really gonna shy away from a lip sync battle challenge, are ya?” All you could do was awkwardly laugh, still frozen on the step.

“Yeah, not you, the diva with all your many Grammys,” Chris and this word. His smug expression makes your blood boil. Before you could even begin to think about why you let this man ruffle your feathers, you’re making your way to the stage. I gotta trick for your ass… The crowd cheers rowdily, eager for what’s next.

When you reach the stage, the host recognizes you, announcing it to the crowd which is just as excited about your presence. “Thank you for gracing us all! You are a true queen!” You get a little timid from all the praise; it never really becomes easy for you to accept. You offer a small smile and wave to the crowd. Chris senses your shyness, and he wonders if he made the right decision in calling you out. 

“But as much as we all love you out there, you have to earn the title of ‘Majesty’ in here. Do you accept this fine gentleman’s challenge?”

You turn to look at Chris. He’s trying his best to be expressionless, but there’s something there. Unfortunately for you, the ruckus and burning stares of the crowd make it impossible for you to focus and discern it. For the moment, you disregard trying to figure him out, grab his hand, pulling his mic to your mouth and say, “I accept.”

“Yass! We love to see it! What song should I tell the maestro to cue up?” You lean over and whisper your selection in the host’s ear. “Great choice!” The host disappears off stage to relay the message, and you turn to Chris to get his mic, which you assume will be muted once it’s time for you to perform.

You get your hand on the microphone, but Chris keeps his grip, causing you to look up at him. “Good luck,” he says with a smirk you’re starting to think is trademark.

“Luck is for chumps,” you rebut, snaking the boa from his neck and placing it on your own. It blends into your pink furry outwear, a sure clash, but you intend to use it as a prop. He huffs out a laugh as he walks backwards a few steps, then turns and leaves the stage to you.

The music starts; a bass strum and some percussion. You wind your hips to the rhythm. Making an imaginary gun with your fingers, you raise it to your lips and blow the “barrel”. You mouth the intro line:

Son of a gun

This earns you an “ow!” from somewhere in the crowd. You continue to sway your hips and move about the stage with utter femininity and a feline nature. A trance clearly comes over you: you are in performance mode. Chris can’t help but marvel at the sight of you so comfortable in commanding a crowd. He’s snapped out of his thoughts as your gaze finds his and you sing to him, the lyrics reminding him of where you two stand:

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee

Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain

You probably think this song is about you

The mention of coffee from you still stings a little for Chris, but you seem to revel in it. ‘You’re So Vain’, huh? Clever choice. You continue to sashay across the stage, accenting the lyrics with your quirky dance moves, head whipping, and expert work of that pink, feather boa. You finish your performance with a slow curtsey to the crowd, but keep your eyes trained on Chris. Even in the dim lighting you can see his sly grin, and you reciprocate it.

“Whew! Did somebody turn up the thermostat cos it is HOT in hurr!” The host and crowd praise you for your performance a few moments longer. You humbly laugh, a little out of breath from all that dancing. “Where’s our other contender?” Chris strides to join you on stage. The way he’s looking at you makes you feel the heat the host was talking about in your cheeks. “What’d you think of your competition?”

Chris takes a moment before he answers, rubbing a hand over his beard while looking down at you. “I thought she was… aight,” he said with a shrug.

“‘Aight’? Just aight?” you feigned offense with hands on your hips, to which Chris just shrugs again. The crowd began to turn on him with some booing and he was quick to clarify.

“Hold on, hold on, lemme explain!” His Boston accent was thick as he began, and the host helped him out with quieting the riled up room. “It was a great song choice, I give you that. Didn’t think a youngin like you would know anything about Carly Simon,” You scoffed and rolled your eyes as he continued, “but I was expecting something with a little more pizzazz, more diva attitude, ya’know? That was just… cute.”

“Hm,” you contemplated your response, “so, what I’m hearing is... you think I’m cute?” You looked up at him with a mischievous grin, hoping to throw him off a little. It seemed to work as he started to nervously laugh and wag his finger at you. The audience laughed and whooped like a fifth grade class, all while Chris’ face turned red.

“I think you need a lesson in how to channel all that sass into your performance. Here, lemme show you how it’s done,” Chris motions for you to leave the stage, and you graciously take the hint and pass off the mic to him. He then leans over to whisper his next song choice to the host who hurries to get it played.

The aggressive pop production of Ashlee Simpson’s ‘Outta My Head’ begins and Chris begins to faux-belt out the tune, really channeling his inner pop star. Palms to his temples for emphasis, he slowly *and overdramatically* rotates his head to accentuate the lyrics before pointing to you as he sings:

You're in my head

Get outta my head!

A room full of people, but Chris is obviously doing his best to entertain you. You struggle to maintain any semblance of a bitch face, working hard to stifle your giggles and bashfulness throughout his goofy performance. Have I really been on his mind? Just before his performance ends, you whisper your final song selection to the host who nods in confirmation. 

Chris takes his last bow in front of the excitedly raging audience. “See! That’s how you do it!” Chris says, motioning up and down with his outstretched hands to the crowd, them to signal to them to continue their applause. “I hope you were taking notes,” he says offering his hand to help you back on to the stage.

“Yeah, I think I got it,” you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes to the audience’s amusement. “May I?” Chris hands you the microphone with a lingering touch.

A slow sultry start to the song brings the energy down for a few moments but once the chorus starts, the crowd is jumping and jamming along with you. You even have a few members from the crowd and half your party join you onstage. You’re having such a good time that you almost forget that you're in the midst of a competition. You turn to Chris and mime the final chorus just to him:

If we don't fuck this whole thing up

Guaranteed, I can blow your mind

Mwah!

With a wink, you blow a kiss at Chris that he catches and puts in his pocket. You throw your head back laughing, unable to keep up a diva act any longer. Chris is laughing too and you hold each other's gaze as the song comes to a close. 

The crowd that engulfed the stage as well as everyone in the venue roared an ovation. You were so into your good time and silent banter that you have no idea if your performance was worthy of this applause. The host beckons Chris onstage for the crowd to choose which between the two of you is the winner of this lip sync battle. Chris stands across from you, his left hand and your right hand in each of the host’s hands. You don’t hear the verdict; the whole of the crowd is a cacophony that fades to the background as you and Chris look at each other with idiotically inebriated smiles.

Shaking you on your shoulders, Scott shocks you out of your trance, “That’s my girl! Congrats!”

“Thanks!” you say and give him a hug. Remembering that he should be the center of attention, you re-announce it over the mic which is met with another round of rousing applause. ‘Birthday’ by Selena Gomez gets played and you're swept into the sea of bodies dancing on stage. 

You look around for Chris and you find him squeezing his way out of the madness that surrounded you. Your mood sours when he doesn’t stick around. You hoped tonight would give you some kind of resolution, and with the moments you just shared, you hoped a good one was at the of the tunnel. Where you stood with each other was still left open ended. Or not. Guess he got the show he wanted.

——————————————————————————

Waiting outside for your ride, a couple of fans asked for pictures, thanked you for your performance even though you didn’t even sing, but soon enough you were left alone in the soberingly chilly Boston air. A wind blows through and you hug your jack tight to you to cut it, but you still feel the freeze. 

“Here,” You hear a voice behind you say. You turn to see that it’s Chris approaching with his jacket in hand. “I wasn’t using it anyway.”

“Thanks,” you say as he fixes it over your shoulders on top of your jacket. He slowly draws his hands from you shoulders as he looks into your eyes. Catching his actions, he clears his throat and backs away from you a decent distance.

An inexplicable excitement floods you then washes away as you remember you haven’t officially reconciled. You try to seem uninterested when you say, “I thought you left.”

“No, just… needed to get some air. Gotta pretty packed up there on that stage. Congrats, by the way. A very deserved win.”

“Thank you. It’s not the kind of win I’ve been needing lately, but I’ll take it.” You let out the kind of laugh like when you laugh at a painful memory. Chris wonders what you mean by that, but doubts now is the time to ask. “I owe it to you.”

“How’s that?”

“You brought the diva out of me. Couldn’t have done it without you,” you say coldly, looking away from him at nothing in particular.

“I’m sorry,” Chris doesn’t hesitate to say; it’s like he’d been holding it in for a while. He steps towards you making the gap between you a little smaller, but still a few feet wide. “I’m sorry I was judgmental. All of what I said about you being arrogant and a diva isn’t true. I knew it when I was saying it. I was just pissed you wouldn’t give me a chance to explain myself for my first screw up,” he says with a humorless chuckle. “I came off as a jerk, and I swear that’s not who I am. Do you forgive me?” His eyes are wide and waiting, hands in his pockets, more so from nervousness than the cold.

This is what I wanted, right? An apology? You sigh deeply before you reply. “You’re forgiven. And I’m sorry too, for not being up front about what I thought. Kinda just left you wondering about where we stood, and that is childish. I, too, have misrepresented myself since we met.”

He smiles a heartwarming smile at, appreciating your profession. “If it counts for anything, I sent those texts before I’d even met you, and even then, I didn’t know you were who I was talking about.”

“So… you had no idea who I was when we met?”

He shakes his head, “Nope, didn’t put two and two together until you stormed off,” he shrugs

“Huh. Well, that’s humbling, for sure…” you trail off with a laugh. Damn, all this over a misunderstanding? “Are we cool now?”

“Yeah… we’re cool.” Chris is somewhat relieved you didn’t ask to be ‘friends’. “We should start on a clean slate.” Chris takes his hand out of his pocket and puts it out to you for you to shake. “Hi, I’m Chris.”

You look at his hand, then his face, then his hand, and his face again. Noticing your hesitation, he re-presents it and wiggles his brows. You playfully roll your eyes and shake his hand, slow and steady. You get a little lost in his ocean eyes as you introduce yourself, “Hi… I’m—“

“Hey, there you are!” You and Chris snatch your hands away as if you’d just been caught doing something horrible when Lisa approaches. “I’m glad I caught you before you left.” The two of you blush and babble like idiots, but Lisa can only notice it on Chris. “Honey, your face is red! You should put a jacket on if you’re cold!”

You giggle at Lisa’s mothering and can hear Chris muttering “oh my god, Ma” under his breath. You’re handing him back his jacket as Lisa says, “I didn’t give you the details for the museum on Monday.”

“Museum? I love museums!” Seeing a grown man get this excited about anything is charming and you can’t stop the giggle that escapes you. “Can I come, too? If that’s ok with you?” Chris turns to you, hands in front of himself cautiously as he asks for your blessing. You contemplate it. Yeah, we’re cool now, but I don’t know about hanging out with him again so soon. But there’s literally no way out of this. Chris has an expectant expression, and you give him a nod to let him know you’re fine with it. “Yesss!” he says as he sharply pulls his fist into his side like he excitedly won something.

Lisa laughs at her son's antics before giving you the necessary details for your excursion. She bids you goodnight and tells Chris she’ll meet him at his car.

Your phone buzzes in your bag, and you check to see that your sister texted to let you know she’s about 2 minutes away. “Ya know… I should get your number if we’re gonna be meeting up on Monday,” Chris tries to say nonchalantly, making you perk up your brows, but you don’t meet his eyes. 

“What for?”

“Just in case, uh, you get lost on the way there.” You look up at him fully now. “You never know. We may just need to communicate.” You could swear his eyes and smile are kind of flirty. Your stomach is doing flip flops, but you’re determined to ignore it. 

“Should that happen, I’ll just call your mom.”

“What if she doesn’t answer? Who ya gonna call? Don’t—“

“Ghostbusters!” Chris tries not to laugh, but your laughter coaxes it out of him. In the midst of your laughing fit, you see your sister's car pull up a few feet up the street so you turn to walk to it. “That’s me. I gotta go.”

“Wait! Your number?”

“No.”

“Really?” he calls out to you.

You reach the car and open the door. With one foot in, you look back and say, “Really. I’ll see you Monday,” with a wink and duck your head to get into the car. You’ve got the biggest grin on your face and notice in the side view that Chris has a matching one.

“So I take it you had a good time?” Lynn asks.

“Yeah.”

Lynn questioningly mouths your simple under her breath as she wonders why you won’t give her more. “I’m too tired to ask for further details, but tomorrow I’m expecting a full debrief, ok?”

“Yeah, ok. Cool.” With that, Lynn pulls off the curb, and you think to yourself, We’re cool.

Part 6 coming soon!