#I figured... I have a blog for my wife so why not ... put all the stuff that suits Lazarus in one place too ...

[t-lostinworlds]

Big, Hormonal Heart | Bucky Barnes

》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x pregnant!female!reader

》 TROPE/GENRE: established relationship (marriage), fluff fluff fluff

》 SUMMARY: It'd probably take more than one lifetime for Bucky to list reasons why he was so lucky to call you his wife. He was certain your big heart was one of them. One that grew even more with pregnancy hormones. It was sweet, how you to got so upset when they got his order wrong. Your meal was perfectly fine. But when his wasn't? Oh it was a crime.

》 WARNINGS: pregnancy, a dog named Snow and Alpine the cat, pet names (doll, baby, my love, sweetheart), emotional!r (she cries. like, most of the fic), husband!bucky being the sweetest, domesticity and just overall fluff (pretty tame fic ngl)

》 WORD COUNT: 2.5k+

A/N: this idea was super random. i saw an insta reel of a pregnant woman having mood swings over some food and then everyone was sharing their experiences in the comments and i got inspired so here ya go alksalkss. DISCLAIMER! I'm not pregnant nor have i ever been lol. I did as much research as i could but still, don't count on me to be 100% accurate.

++ ALSO this was written in just a few hours. this isn't my best work. just something i wanted to write as an exercise since i haven't written anything in months. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

Bucky Barnes was one lucky man.

If someone had told him years ago that he was going to live in a quaint home in the suburbs, a lovely backyard space for a dog and a cat to enjoy, and that he'd be married to the absolute love of life, an angel on earth who was now carrying his first child—

He honestly would've stared at them dead in the eye, wondering how someone could make such a cruel joke.

Yet here he was, actually living it, a life that seemed so much like a dream.

Though he was quickly reminded of how real this was as he stood in the nursery, glaring at the manual that came with the crib you two had bought from the furniture store.

It looked simple enough at first—putting together ready-made pieces should be easy, right?

Wrong.

Not when you have countless amounts of screws that more or less looked the same but were actually not because each served a different purpose. 

He was in the middle of figuring out how to install the legs to the main base when you walked into the room with your two bodyguards—Alpine the Cat and Snow the five-year-old Samoyed—in tow.

"How's it going, handsome?" you hummed as you reached his side, arms wrapping around his waist, your warmth immediately easing the frustration he had about this goddamn crib.

"It's…" he sighed, gesturing at the wooden pieces scattered around the floor. "Going."

You laughed at that, kissing his clothed shoulder before standing in front of him.

Bucky held your waist then, pulling you as close as he could given that your baby bump was in the middle of you both.

He honestly couldn't begin to express how much comfort and warmth covered his whole being every time he was met with the absolute love in your eyes.

And Bucky was sure his gaze shined the same.

So many people have pointed it out on numerous occasions, the twinkle in his eyes every time they land on you—his beautiful wife.

"I was thinking," you murmured, resting your hands on his chest, moving up his shoulder and down again in a sweet caress. "How about a quick break while we order some food?"

It was only about an hour after lunch, so Bucky wasn't particularly keen on filling his stomach some more.

But you, on the other hand, were nearing the end of your second trimester. It wasn't out of the norm for you to be hungry at this time, given you were eating for two. Plus, there was an added layer that your little peanut probably had some super soldier serum in their DNA—the baby's appetite could be enhanced for all he knew.

Other than that, the last thing Bucky wanted was an angry and hungry pregnant wife. So it wasn't really a hard decision to make.

"Okay, let's get you something to eat," he said.

Ever the observant person that you were, you quickly noticed his choice of words.

"For me?" you asked, brows furrowed. "You're not hungry?"

Bucky shook his head. "Not really."

Your bottom lip went.

He instantly knew he said the wrong thing.

"But I'm hungry," you murmured, eyes starting to glisten.

He could never explain it even if he tried, but whenever you got upset, your bodyguards always seemed to notice it. The two have always been protective of you and that only grew tenfold when you got pregnant.

Today wasn't an exception.

Snow barked at him, whining his complaints as he put his fifty-pound body between your legs, slightly pushing Bucky back. The furball was well trained though, so his protectiveness never went too far beyond being vocal about it. Alpine, on the other hand, was sitting a foot away, glaring at Bucky—quite the traitor given that she was supposed to be his cat, but he couldn't blame her for loving you, either—as if she knew it was his fault you were upset.

But still, Bucky wasn't quite sure what he'd done wrong.

"I know, sweetheart," he said slowly, a little confused, trying to navigate around Snow who was pawing at his leg as if trying to push him further away. "I'll order some food for you."

"But you're not hungry," you repeated, body slumping with sadness.

"I'm not," he agreed, quickly cupping your face when a tear slipped from your eyes. "But hey, hey, that doesn't mean we can't still order food for you, doll."

"No, I know," you sniffled.

"So, what's making you upset, hmm?"

You buried your face in his chest with a shaky breath as you said,

"I don't want to eat alone."

Bucky paused, pressing his lips and swallowing down a laugh because he couldn't have you thinking he was making fun of you. He wasn't. But you were so adorable it made his chest ache.

"Okay, okay," he hummed, kissing the side of your head as he rubbed your back in comfort. "I'll order something for me, too."

•••

A few minutes later, your little family migrated to the living room. You both were sitting on the couch together, the two furballs sprawled at your feet as a random show played on TV. Various take-out bags covered the coffee table, way too many for two people but hey, that's what fridges and microwaves are for.

Fondness filled Bucky's bones as he watched you settle your food on your lap, doing what he called your Cravings Satisfied Wiggle.

He couldn't contain his chuckle.

You looked at him with furrowed brows, words a little muffled with your mouth full. "What?"

"Happy?" he asked, reaching over to wipe the sauce on the corner of your mouth.

"Very much," you giggled, eyes wrinkling at the corners.

Even after all these years, the sight of your pure joy still made his heart stutter, chest growing warmer when you leaned closer with a pout.

Bucky met you halfway for a short yet sweet kiss.

"Thank you," you hummed, even though there was no need for you to thank him for ordering you food.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

Reaching over the table, he took the one and only paper bag that was for him, because again, he wasn't that hungry.

"Oh."

"What's wrong?" You turned to him in concern.

"It's not a big deal," he reassured with a smile, shrugging because it really wasn't. "They got mine wrong."

You frowned. "You didn't get the nuggets?"

"No, they give me the burger meal," he said. "They must've misheard me.

Bucky immediately perked up when your lips started to tremble.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, cupping your face to wipe away your tears.

"You—" you sniffled. "You didn't get your nuggets."

Bucky pressed his lips to stop a smile.

God you were so fucking cute.

"It's okay, baby," he soothed. "I'm fine with a burger, too."

You cried even harder.

Snow and Alpine quickly stood, all alert and concerned as they nudged your leg.

"You wanted the nuggets, Bucky," you insisted, choking back a sob. "But you didn't get it."

He carefully pulled you closer, rubbing your back in comfort as you laid your head on his shoulder. "I know, but it's okay—"

"No, it's not!" you protested, all teary and frustrated, pulling away to glare at him. "You deserve to get what you want. Y-You deserve all the good things after e-everything."

Bucky might honestly start crying too with how sweet you were being.

"Oh doll, come here," he placated, pulling you in for a hug while trying to navigate the food on your lap.

He could take it away for safety, but he'd already learned his lesson the hard way. Taking food away from a pregnant woman was a death sentence.

"I want you to be happy," you sniffled, burying your face against his neck. "You wanted the nuggets and they disrespected that."

It took so much for him not to let out a chuckle. Because as much as Bucky hated to see you crying and upset, he couldn't deny how adorably funny this whole conversation was.

But you'd always had the biggest heart. Whether that was crying over those rescue animal videos, emotional scenes in movies, to feeling upset over something he was experiencing—your empathy was always high.

What more with the pregnancy hormones in the mix?

"How about I ask them to change it?"

Again, wrong thing to say.

He needed to get better at this.

"But they're probably so stressed and overworked already," you sobbed. "A-And it's about to rain. I don't want the delivery guy to get wet in the rain. T-They already don't get paid enough."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he hummed, rubbing your back. "Will you look at me, my love?"

You lifted your head then, Bucky's heart aching at the absolute distress on your features—pout in full play, eyes a little bloodshot with tear stains on your skin.

He cupped your cheeks with a soft smile, placing gentle kisses all over your face, unrelenting until you let out a whine of protest. He stopped then, thankful to see that you'd calmed down now.

"I promise you, the burger meal is perfectly fine with me. I'm not mad or upset about it. I don't mind it at all," he said.

You took a calming deep breath and nodded. It only took a second for you to look at him sheepishly.

"Sorry I overreacted," you whispered, embarrassed.

"Hey, none of that," he lightly scolded. "All the emotions you're feeling will always be valid."

You smiled, small yet sweet, leaning in and kissing him with as much gratitude as you could muster.

"Besides, it makes me feel so honored to know that you're willing to fight for my chicken nugget rights."

"Shut up, Barnes."

•••

You and Bucky always had a nightly routine and it usually consisted of the two of you getting ready for bed in your own different ways. They were intertwined, but not exactly the same. Like you'd be doing some skin care in the bathroom while he would be brushing his teeth.

But ever since you got pregnant, your routine became more in sync.

It usually started with a bath that he'd run for you. Most of the time he'd end up joining you, the length of said bath varying since that usually depended on what mood you were in. Bucky was always at the service of meeting his wife's needs, after all.

Recently, now that your bump wasn't particularly easy to navigate, he'd helped you get ready for bed. From getting dressed to your skin care, including rubbing some moisturizer on your stomach. That part was one of his favorite things to do.

Then it was the typical things, getting dressed, brushing your teeth—this one you stopped him from doing it for you even though he was more than willing—and overall just getting ready for bed.

Once you’d settled on the pregnancy pillow that Bucky fluffed up for you, he'd sit near the foot of the bed to give your sore feet a massage while you read a book.

Tonight, right when he was in the middle of doing that, he heard you sniffle.

Bucky looked up in concern, catching you already staring at him with tears already in your eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking you over. "Does something hurt?"

"No, I-I'm okay. I just—" You cut yourself off with a sob.

Bucky quickly moved beside you, pulling you onto his lap as he wrapped his arms around your form. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, body shaking as you cried.

"Hey, hey, talk to me," he murmured against your hair. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just—" You let out a shaky breath. "You're always taking care of me."

"Of course, sweetheart, you're my wife," he said. "And not only because it's my duty as your husband, but because I love you so much."

That made you cry even harder.

"I l-love you too, so much," you sobbed. "But I haven't been able to take care of you lately and that's not f-fair."

Bucky felt his heart grow as if it wasn't already bursting at the seams.

How could someone be so selfless and sweet?

"You're pregnant, my love," he stated the obvious reason as to why. "Besides, I'm capable of taking care of myself. It's alright."

"No, it's not," you argued, pulling away slightly to face him. "You deserve to be taken care of, too! You deserve to get pampered a-and a break but you're always fussing over me and taking care of me instead. I'm not helping with any of it. I'm just making it harder for you."

"No, absolutely not," he stated firmly, holding your face in his hands, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. "I love taking care of you. It honestly makes me feel so fulfilled and happy when I do."

"Really?" you sniffled.

"Yes. It's the least I could do with everything that you've been going through right now," he said truthfully, adding with a chuckle, "Hell, if I could carry our baby so you wouldn't have to go through all the pain I would."

That earned him a small laugh.

"But I want to take care of you, too," you admitted after a deep breath.

"You already are," he hummed, thumb stroking your cheek lovingly. "You're taking care of our baby and my heart, and those are very important to me."

You scrunched up your nose adorably.

"That was so cheesy."

"But it's true, though."

You smiled, cupping his face. Bucky turned his head to kiss your palm.

"Thank you," you sighed fondly. "For putting up with me and for everything."

"First off, I'm not putting up with anything," he reassured, kissing your other palm before adding, "Second, you never have to thank me for taking care of you. Never."

You nodded, leaning closer to press your lips against his, pouring all your love and gratitude into it. Bucky kissed you back with the same fervor, never needing words to express what you truly feel for each other.

He felt so content—feeling your lips, your fingers tangled in his hair, and your little peanut asking for attention too, kicking the second Bucky rested hand on your bump.

When you let out a soft, needy whine, he was ready to take the kiss even further.

That was until a wet tongue met his cheek.

Bucky groaned in annoyance, pulling away to see Snow giving you a kiss, too. He couldn't be angry at the dog for ruining the moment when your lovely laugh echoed in the air. Alpine jumped on the bed a second later, nudging her head against Bucky's chin before walking over to place a loving paw on your bump.

His smile was as bright as it could be as he watched the scene before him.

A wonderful home, a wholesome family that involved his beautiful, loving wife and two furballs, his family that was only getting bigger in a few months—

Yeah.

Bucky Barnes was one lucky man.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ♛ *.

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[goldfades]

Paige 100% sends those pictures of two inanimate object and goes “us if we were___”

Like two soap bottles touching tips “us if we were soap”

Paige def just scrolls through your phone gallery, looking at your pictures. Staring fondly and going “my wife’s so pretty.” and “Why didn’t you send me this????” (I just thought of a whole fic on this idea oml i’m getting Hot)

Anytime you send a photo to Paige honestly, she’s going off on Imessage just hyping you up.

OMG THEY HAVE A SHARED PHOTO ALBUM. BUT BUT BUT it’s not just photos of themselves, it’s also like “I saw this and was thought of you.” Photos like OSXBUDHANA

Loves listening to you talk so she brings up things she knows you love talking about.

——-

Also that motherfucker definitely makes the manager mad on purpose cuz she thinks it’s cute when the managers angry. (The manager being furious is a whole different situation.) And it doesn’t help that Paige is taller.

Manager will just be ranting at paige whilst paige is just smiling the whole time.

The manager notices and goes “and you’re just smiling like shits funny, ain’t nothin funny-“ “you’re just so cute princess”

oop

that shut her up real quick

“Paige’s get the fuck outta my office.” but like she’s all flustered and Paige can tell

——

I think you touched on this, but when they get together and yk, have to keep it on the low for a multitude of reasons.

One one hand it sucks cuz yk, Paige can’t brag like she wants to yet. But on the other hand Paige is a cocky little shit and will take the opportunity to be handsy and flirty (to a certain degree) knowing that the girls aren’t gonna think too much of it cuz paige has always been like that, But Paige and the manager both know there’s more reason to it now.

BUT NEVER FRETE our manager can play the same game Paige, don’t start stuff you can’t finish. Then it lowkey become just a personal game for them of who could fluster the other more without the team getting suspicious.

Contrary to popular belief I think the Manager and Paige made a bet on how long with would take the team to figure out they were together. So they didn’t tell them outright, but just went along letting them figure it out themselves.

——

I also feel like people started noticing the dynamic change. Like don’t get me wrong the managers job comes first so Paige isn’t getting any extreme special treatment, but the girls and fans start noticing the managers tone switch when she’s talking to Paige.

Her tone just gets a bit softer and more gentle.

Like there’s this clip of manager talking to Caroline normally, then Paige calls her and manager turns and goes “yes baby?” so softly AND LIKE the “baby” isn’t what gets people cuz again, manager calls everyone by pet names. It’s HOW quickly her tone changes as soon as she started talking to Paige.

And we already know Paige’s eye contact game goes crazy and she has a STARRING PROBLEM, if I had a nickel for how many times Paige was caught staring at the manager I would be buying everyone on this blog canes oml.

Manager doesn’t really strike me as a person who shies away from eye contact most of the time, which is evident cuz there’s clips of them just starting at each other and you can FEEL THE TENSION.

But when manager does shy away from it, Paige either grabs her chin and turns her face back to her, or if she can’t Paige moves her head to try and stay in the managers eye sight.

Or let’s say Paige is talking and manager gets distracted by something. Paige is grabbing her cheeks gently with both hands, saying “Hey, I’m right here pretty girl.” while gently rubbing her cheeks with her thumbs, then drops her hands from her face and just goes back to talking.

-🐹

(girl request that fic idea i wanna hear it now) THIS ENTIRE ASK IS GOLD I AM PUTTING IT IN THE MASTERLIST ASAPPPPP!!!!!

the shared photo album is soooo real!!!!! and paige is the one who puts the most pictures cus baby girl is a sentimental person she wants to take pics of EVERYTHING!

i feel like paige wants to think she's the winner every time yall play that "who can make the other flustered without the team noticing" game but honestly, why is the manager lowkey a rizzler????? likeeeeeee paige would pretend not to blush but its super obvious

AND THE TONE CHANGE IS SOOOO SO REAL, ur so right!!!!!! and its kinda obvious but the girls don't wanna say anything yet but they'll def tease them.

the whole eye contact thing made me melttttt goodnight!!!!

[hailuchiha]

Hey! Your blog is right up my alley and I love your writing? I saw something similar on a different blog, and I really wanted to see your take on it. Feel free to ignore if you don't want to write it 😿💔

Req: Itachi has a younger sister close to his age. When she's of age, Fugaku wants to teach Itachi his place and duty as Uchiha heir and has him breed his sister.

!! 18+ NSFW!!

!!MINORS DNI!!

!!ALL characters involved are 18+ NO MINOR CHARACTERS!!

incest; betrayal?; expectations; breeding; sibling incest; old customs; lineage; loss of virginity; first time; misogynistic behavior; impartial treatment; noncon; taboo

Know Your Place

While Fugaku was far less intense than some of the older generation clan heads, be it Uchiha or from other clans, he still had to uphold some practices, especially since all eyes were always on the Uchihas.

His beloved wife was loathe to put her precious children through that ritual, begging him to use his position as clan head to vote his children out of it. However, Fugaku was nothing if not dutiful. He would not show any bias towards his family. Ancient Konoha customs were especially sacred to the Uchiha and Senju, since they were the founder's blood.

After many fights and arguments, Mikoto had unhappily relented, seeing that she couldn't change her husband's mind. His heart ached for his wife as he could imagine where she was coming from. So, to spare her somewhat, he suggested she should go visit her friend the fated day and to even have a sleepover if possible.

While she had still not been happy about his decision and what would befall their children, she had thanked him for the suggestion, ever courteous, and went to sleep with her back turned towards him.

The fateful day finally came. Mikoto, despite being upset with her husband, had taken his suggestion and planned a date with Kushina to spend the whole day together and end it in a sleepover. She had already told Sasuke to come straight to Naruto's home with him after their training ended. If there was one silver lining in the situation, she figured it was that her baby would be spared the fates of his elder siblings.

Their daughter had come of age around a week ago. Fugaku knew what had to be done. And it had to be done today, with his wife safely out of the picture so as not to have to witness what needed to happen.

Sometime before noon, Fugaku came into the living room and called for both his eldest children in a booming voice. Itachi came first, coming in from where he'd been in the back garden, looking mildly curious. Fugaku gestured for him to wait, to which he obliged, knowing he'd find out whatever his father wanted once his sister came down.

His second born, and only daughter, tiptoed down the stairs, poking her head around the door to gauge the situation. She flinched upon seeing his intense expression and straightened up, quickly slinking into the room and sitting opposite him, beside Itachi.

"You're both old enough now," he got straight to business. "Itachi, you're my heir. You need to stake your claim. As for you," he fixed his daughter with a cold gaze. "You must ensure and strengthen his position. Your place is beside him."

She bit the inside of her cheek, looking towards Itachi for clarity, but he was staring in confusion at their father.

"I don't understand father," she said, trying to lower the intensity radiating off of both the men. "It's understood I'll make sure his position is strong... Why are you saying it like this?"

Fugaku breathed out through his nose, praying for patience to get through this. He kept his demeanor and tone harsh, knowing that was the most efficient way to get through this.

He barked at her to undress, that she was to do as she was told. That was her position. He ignored the angry, hurt tears welling in her eyes and kept his gaze focused on his son, whose fists were balled tightly on his lap.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his daughter looking to Itachi for help, but eventually realizing her older brother wouldn't take her side here. If the situation weren't so dire, he would have smiled in pride at his son's sense of loyalty. Fugaku knew how much Itachi adored his younger siblings, but to see that he would do whatever it takes for his clan and village made him proud.

His daughter slowly undressed, fighting back tears and looking forlorn. When she was completely bare, she folded her arms over her chest, trying futilely for some semblance of modesty. He could see the slight tremours in Itachi's arms as he fought for restraint.

Fugaku took a quick inspection of her folds, having her hold her cunt open, feet spread far apart. He nodded with satisfaction upon finding her virginity in tact. Now to move on to the next part.

Next, he had her lay on the low table in front of Itachi, barking at her to spread her legs and keep them open when she would start to close them, shaking from the absurdity of the situation.

Itachi hadn't moved an inch from his spot, still kneeling at his seat. He didn't meet Fugaku's eyes when the clan head turned towards him.

"Itachi," he called out sternly, although his voice was considerably free of the harshness he had used on his daughter. "You are to be the future leader of this clan. You must take her, and make sure to spill inside. She'll bear many children for you."

For a long moment, Fugaku feared his eldest won't obey. That this was where he'd draw the line and Fugaku would have to use stricter means. He fixed his son with a cold look, barely paying attention to his vulnerable daughter, who had hidden her face behind her hands. He let her hide for now.

Then, slowly, Itachi shifted, reaching out to grab the only item Fugaku had prepared for this occasion. He took the jar and opened it, dipping his fingers into the thick lubricant. Wordlessly, he brought the fingers to his sister's pink folds that were splayed uncomfortably in front of him. He didn't waste time in teasing or arousing pleasure, and simply got to work using his slick fingers to lubricate and open her up with quick motions as if sensing Fugaku's rising impatience.

The man pulled his daughter's trembling hands away from her face, revealing her teary eyes and conflicted expression. He wanted to give her a kind smile and comfort her, but he remembered his duty as a father and clan head were most important right now.

"Look at him," he said instead, words as stern as his eyes. "Don't bring your hands up again!"

Pleased with his work when her hands dropped to her sides on the tabletop, clenched into tight fists, Fugaku went behind Itachi who was lining up his manhood to his sister's prepared cunt. With a hand on his son's shoulder, Fugaku watched as his thick, engorged head breached his daughter's virgin entrance, telling him to keep pushing as she began to squirm.

He didn't comment when Itachi's hands went to her waist, holding her down as he spoke gentle words to calm his sister down and reassuring her that the pain would subside.

“Easy, love. Just a bit more… It’ll get better,” Itachi murmured against the skin of her neck before pressing a gentle kiss there.

With a few more thrusts, he was buried inside her, having successfully breached her cunt. Fugaku winced, having caught sight of the thin streaks of blood from her hymen coating the length of Itachi's fat cock as he pulled out to thrust back in, the red now pinkish from mixing with the white lubrication Itachi had used generously while preparing her. The clanhead patted his son on the back as he finally started to fuck his sister properly, seemingly having gotten over the inhibitions from earlier. Content in knowing that his work was done, Fugaku quietly exited the living room and retreated to his study.

As he leaned back in his chair and lit a cigar, he wished Mikoto would return home tonight instead of sleeping over at her friend's house after all. He was only human, and the past couple hours had aroused his need for his wife.

He blew out a ring of smoke, letting his eyes fall shut as the muffled sounds of his son breeding his daughter filtered through the thin walls to his office.

NOTE: edits and corrections may come along as i have time and notice them

[echantedtoon]

Quite A Handful Ch1 Aizetsu, Sekido, Urogi, Karaku, And Hantengu

Sometimes it was a handful to have so many husbands.

(This is inspired by @starrcityyy's Hantengu Wife Y/n art. (Warnings: Their blog does contain NSFW elements and themes that not everyone may like or be comfortable with. Just a heads up. But this WILL STAY Sfw.) I did ask if they were fine with someone writing drabbles inspired by their au before writing this, and they mentioned that they were fine. This is probably not gonna be very long and it's from the perspective of a female reader.

Wife Y/n Concept- @starrcityyy

Demon Slayer- Koyoharu Gotouge

Warning: Karaku IS his own warning. Possibly some innuendos. Mentioned killing.)

The thunderstorm I'm the distance between the roof and sky haunted the eardrums as the storm drew ever closer in the darkness.

There truly was nothing but the warmth of the small fireplace within the cozy small house in the middle of the woods. A cozy small hideaway nobody knew but you and a select few individuals. It would shield you well from the harsh elements and keep you safe and sound from the outside. It was your own little safe haven. Just yourself to worry about now. 

The bubbling pot of soup on the stove wafted in waves making even the most stuffed person desire to eat it as you smelt it. A hum of satisfaction left your throat as you nodded and took your hand off the soup ladder after stirring it a few times. This would surely last you a few days. Cooking enough food to last you a few days was always good. Having leftovers only meant you didn't have to cook over a hot stove for a good while. It left you time to focus on other things. Speaking of other things- F/c eyes turned to the door as thunder drew ever closer and closer judging by the sounds in the distance. Now where are they?

They usually weren't this late. 

It was sort of a pattern by now. Usually the first one to show up would be the most skittish one after he runs away from whatever danger scared him. Cowering by your legs and hugging you for comfort. Then depending on how hard the task was, the other four would follow right after either sooner or later. Like said it depended on how hard her husband's work was that day. You supposed tonight would be a hard working day. Until then you busied yourself by picking up a broom to start sweeping up the floor. The faint sounds of broom bristles scraping on the floor added to the crackling fire and the distant thunder. Perhaps that's why-

You didn't hear anything when the door opened.

You didn't see the demon crawling it's way inside scuttling like an insect.

Didn't sense the figure looking behind you until deadly claws wrapped around your form.

"Hi. You're home late," you casuay said not bothering to look up at the form trembling as it clutched onto your kimono. "What happened to you this time?"

"Not my fault! N-Not my fault! The hands that had killed them were not mine!", a voice sobbed and croaked out between cries. 

Yep. Seemed about right.

"Are you hungry? Or did you already eat out tonight?"

"*Hic* I didn't do iiiiiiitttt!!"

"You already ate then. Good to know." 

By now you could already interpret what he meant by his rambles. Wasn't always easy though especially when he had the tendency to go on for ages. An insistent series of weak shaking tugs told you all you needed to know about what he wanted. Without batting an eye, the broom was placed to the side and she assumed the position of turning around and doing the familiar process of hugging the sobbing demon closer to her while he sobbed into the folds of her dress. Make no mistakes. He had the outward visage of a weak old man but he was far from weakly.

"Shh. Shh. There, there now. You're ok. Nothing's going to hurt you. You're alright." Her hand soothingly patted over his back and head being mindful of his horns.

"Monsters. Monsters! All of them! Putting blame on me when it wasn't my.." his voice dissolved into muffled sobs and whimpering in the fabric of hee dress she could barely make out. 

It times like this it would be a while before he was able to pull himself together and this time would be no exception. You spent the better half of an hour just calming him. He had completely almost calmed down when again the door was opened but with much more force. The door frame rattled from the five of the door sliding open and the sound echoed throughout the room. The loud sound had him squealing in fright again and scrambling to hide behind her legs gripping onto the fabric of her dress.

"HONEY, I'M HOME!~"

"Shut UP, Karaku! My head is killing me!"

"It's not my fault you let yourself get hit by that boulder.~"

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BLEW IT TOWARDS ME YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILE!!"

"Then next time  don't stand in my way ~"

"WHY YOU STUPID-!!"

"That's enough both of you. Your fighting is making me sad." 

Footsteps approached and by the screams she could already tell who else had shown up. One. Two. Three. AAAnd four more demons dangerous and strong. One holding his head annoyed and scowling. Two looking amused by his anger and smiling. And one last one looking a mixture of 'over this' and slightly worried. 

"Hi, honey." You smiled at them. "How was work?"

"Miserabl.     G."  Your husband rubbing his annoyed temples didn't even look up.

"AW. Sekido's just upset because he got a boo boo.~ Big deal.~" Said green eyed husband rolled his eyes when his angrier counterpart shot him a dirty look, but soon put all his focus into giving her a wolfish grin. "But enough about him.~ What's our cute little wifey been up to?~"

"Cleaning. Are you all hungry? I made dinner."

"Nah. We ate before we got here." Another arm wrapped around her and pulled her against a fluffier wing in contrast to his sharp claws that pulled her against him. "But it's so cute seeing you all domestic. Makes me just wanna gobble you up!"

"Let's not eat her. That'll just make all of us sad."

"Aizetsu. I-...I was just joking. Y'know?" Your blue eyes husband just stared. "You know. Like a joke I did just for fun. ...You did know that right?'

".... I'm going to be keeping a very close eye on you from now on."

"Aizetsu, Im serious! It was just a joke. I wouldn't really eat her!"

The veins on Sekido's forehead got bigger than before as Aizetsu stared down a now slightly intimidated harpy demon and Karaku laughed at all three of them. Meanwhile the trembling demon behind you finally let go of your dress in favor of hiding his face in them but still his behind you. Your head tilted in concern at Sekido. Out of all five of them, he seemed to be the only one in genuine pain.

"Well enough of pleasantries.~" Karaku smoothed his bangs to the side before pressing an arm on the wall above your head and giving a bigger smirk. "I've missed this pretty thing.~ How about you and me-"

He fell silent as you suddenly ducked under his arm and out of Urogi's grip. Hantengu squealed as his makeshift shield was removed and all watched as you ignored all of them in favor of grabbing Sekido's head and pulling the lightly surprised man towards you.

"You look worse for wear. Are you alright, Honey?"

Sekido blinked before scowling."Peachy. Karaku blew a dam boulder at me! My head is KILLING me."

You cooed before pulling his head lower to cradle it much to the disgruntled others' dismay. "There, there. Poor baby. Come on. I'll get you some pain medicine and have you lie down."

"I don't need to be coddled!.....But this is fine I guess."

"Do you want me to stay with you until you feel better?"

Sekido paused.. before looking at the others and giving a rare triumphant smirk that earnt him jealous frowns.

"Yes. I'm going to need a LOT of care."

[yan-rai]

Yandere! Aged up! Denji x reader x Yandere! Makima

Synopsis: Denji is quite a handful, after all, he grew up unfortunate. He's ecstatic at the smallest things, so imagine how he acts when you do the slightest gesture. Especially when he sees competition. The same could be said with Makima, she has a calm exterior, but, she hates having to share her property. So, why not settle this with a duel?

-Warning- SPOILERS FOR PART 1. This is a yandere work, it will include dark themes (however in this, I would say it is light). I do not control who reads this, however, this should not be romanticized and should stay in fiction. I do not condone this behavior. Light editing, Suggestive, cheating(?) reader, also in a way, manipulative. Aged up! Denji. Cannibalism(?), death, mentions of religious aspects (praying by Denji and reader) being called a wife by Makima (no gender associated though since she refers to herself as the husband). Implied that reader is not fully human, could be considered a fiend, devil or a hybrid.

Side Note!: I accidentally uploaded this without knowing so it had to be put on private since I don't know how to change it back to drafts 😭. This is my first published blog, so I'm still a newbie trying to figure things out. If you see any errors, whether it be typos or giving reader a gender, don't be afraid to tell me! I'll quickly fix it. These images are NOT mine, Denji chibi is made by JackGravitty, Makima chibi is made by Yknsugar. Other images are just manga panels.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You're aware of Makima's plan.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 After all, she considers you as family, why would she need to keep something from you?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 When you meet Denji, you're in a way, disappointed.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Makima gushes about Chainsaw man, but when you see the barely adult, you wonder if Chainsaw man was truly great as she painted him to be.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Not wanting the plan to fail, you treated Denji kindly.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Offering food, cleaning up after him, and giving praise.

"Ohhhh Yeahhhh!" Denji shouted as you handed him a plate full of meat. "Thank you for the food!" Denji clasped his hands together as he dug in, almost choking in the process. "Denji, you'll have to be more careful, can't have you dying without completing the contract now, hm?" You tilt your head, Deji coughed. "Y-Yeah! Sorry..." He drank water. "Uhm... (Y/N), what's your type?"

"My type?" You tilted your head, "Hmmm." You put a finger on your chin. Obviously it'd be Makima, and only her. However, perhaps him taking interest in you was the plan? You knew she'd be pissed if you ruined it, you smiled. "I think I'll be the most happy with you, Denji." "W-With me!?" He stuttered, checks flushed. "Yeah. You're cute, loyal, basically like a dog" you named off, leaning towards his face, "And most of all, you're Chainsaw man."

"You'll protect me, right?"

Denji nods frantically.

"What's your type?" You smiled.

"Y-You!" He blurted out.

"I'm glad."

You lean further, connecting your lips against his.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Denji would be lying if he said he *hadn't* gotten a boner right there and then.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I mean? What reaction would he have gotten instead!?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 A hot person kissing him as they confirmed their feelings!?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Denji now believes you're in a relationship with him, he's yours and you're his, simple as that.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 While Makima did treat him well, you did it with wanting nothing in return, it was as if, you liked him for him. You saw him as Denji, not Chainsaw man.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 That's all it takes for him to fall head over heels for you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Denji would be far more clingy with you, annoying a certain boss.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Not like he cares, though.

"(Y/N)" She called out, no longer allowing you to daydream as stood near her door.

"I've heard you got into a relationship, hm?" Makima spoke, sitting at her desk as you stood. "Ah, you too?" You sighed, he was practically announcing it to the world with how he acted. "Congratulations." Makima continued her smile, however, with most of her smiles, it was fake. "It's not my fault." You furrowed your eyebrows, "You said you were going to take care of him! Why'd you toss it over to me?" "Why did you give the dog hope?" Makima responded, no longer smiling. "I didn't want to ruin your plans, so I assumed you'd want me to flirt with him so he doesn't run away." You huffed.

She stayed silent before tapping on her lap, reluctantly, you sat.

Putting her arms around you,

"I didn't know my wife cared about me so much. But, I'm sure you're aware, I don't like sharing."

Her lips trail down from your lips to your nape, she bites your collarbone.

"Stop it. We're at the office." You hitched, "Since when were you the husband?" She teased, licking the hickey she recently gave you. "You're aware that I don't like Denji, right? You don't have anything to worry about. I'd choose you over him, no matter what." You reassured, Makima hummed. "Makima, I love you. We'll get officially married, start a family," You rested on her shoulder, clasping your hands with hers, "and stay together for entirety." You whispered.

She paused. Her eyes trail up to your face, she fiddles with the buttons, hands slowly trailing to your tie. Pulling on it, she brings your face closer to hers, biting your bottom lip.

"You're mine and mine only, you belong to me."

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Normally, she doesn't care about the people around you, they're nothing but flies.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 She met you waaaaaayy before Denji even existed.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 But Denji clearly was changing you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 She saw the way you looked at him, as if you *actually* liked him.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 She hated how a mere pet can change someone's feelings quickly.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 What did that dog have that she didn't?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Nothing! She had everything, the will to change someone's memories, control anyone, hell she was unstoppable at this point!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 That's right.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He *had* nothing, but now, he's surrounded by people he loves.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Perhaps it's time for the dog to be put back on a leash?

"I apologize for the loss, Denji." Makima sipped her coffee, as the dogs played around both her and Denji. "We tried everything to make sure everyone came out alive, but, the gun devil, he's quite strong. However, we managed to defeat him." She smiled.

Denji, however, seemed to still be shaken up by Aki's death, as expected. After all, Aki took care of Denji, treating him as a little brother, someone who died because of him. "Makima..." He suddenly spoke. "You said, if we defeated the gun devil...I can make any wish, right?" Denji lifted his head, putting his fingers in his mouth. "Of course," Makima smiled as she put her coffee on her lips. "Then... Can I make a wish where (Y/N) will never leave me? If everything goes wrong, then, they'll be the only one who'll stay with me?"

Makima paused, no longer smiling, her eyes glaring daggers.

Tch.

Does this fucker really think he has a chance with you?

Makima sipped her coffee, regaining her smile.

"Is that what you wish for, Denji?"

"Yes...please. I-I... I can't afford to lose them."

""Denji, it's your birthday, correct?" Her head tilted.

"Huh? Oh, y-yeah!"

"Happy 19th birthday."

"Thank you, Makima." Denji blushed.

"Say, I actually invited someone over." Makima stood up, "Really? Who!?" Denji turned his body around as Makima neared the door.

Denji's smile never fell, he wondered who it could be. Perhaps (Y/N)? It'd be nice to hear a birthday saying from them. Perhaps it'd be one of her men, ready to give him the birthday boy treatment. Perhaps it'd be Power, who would jump to him ecstatically like a wild dog. Or better yet, even if he knows it might not be true, perhaps there would be a way, to bring back Aki, so they could once again be like a happy family.

Makima gently opened the door.

"Denji..."

Ah! He was right! It's Power!

"Power!" Denji ran to get up, almost tripping.

"No way! A cake!?" He cheered, it was the first time he'd received a cake for his birthday. Truly, his life was turning around, he loved becoming Chainsaw man.

"H-"

"Bang."

"Eh...?"

Blood splattered on his face, his eyes laying upon power, whose head fell near her legs. Her torso completely gone.

Denji's eyes slowly started to face Makima, who, only had a smile as her hand still had the pointing gesture.

"Your wish, (Y/N)... To be the *only one* to stay with you, right?" Makima spoke, facing him.

His smile falters.

No.

He didn't mean it like that.

Not at all!

Why.

Why did she do this to him!?

God damn it!

Why did he wish it like that in the first place!?

No... Nobody would think it like that!

It was her fault.

For everything.

"Why..." He lets out.

Makima only smiled.

"Do you hate me or something!?" Denji shouted, clenching his fist.

"Hate is... quite a strong wrong, though, I can't deny it. But, it's just a mere punishment for believing that (Y/N) would want to stay with you in the first place. Dogs need to be punished when doing things they aren't meant to." She laughed, except it wasn't the laugh she always presents herself with. It was a hollow laugh, something like it wouldn't come out of a human in the first place. "You're wrong! (Y/N) loves me! They...they presented me with such kindness, They protect me, feed me, kiss me...hold hands...they... They trust me to save them! Save them from *things* like you!"

Denji leads his hands near his cord.

"I'll fight with everything I got to defeat a monster like you." He spat.

"Denji, did you really think (Y/N) loved you?" Makima questioned, "Don't you ever stop to think? (Y/N) only loves you for Chainsaw Man, not Denji. Just like all the other people that came and went, they fought for Chainsaw Man."

"(Y/N)'s the same, except, they work for me. They *love* me. They offered to take the role of the person you'd fall in love with. That mouth that praises you, kisses you, calls out your name, it's done the same to me. Far more, and... It actually holds its meaning."

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 No.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 NO.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You... You weren't like them at all!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You loved him for him!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Those moments that you shared, the times where you would kiss him first, laugh at his jokes...

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Had they all been lies?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 No! He refuses to believe it! Makima clearly was lying!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 She had to have been jealous!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It's okay! He'll make sure he defeats her! You two will be able to live together once and *without* meddling things.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 All of this will be for you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 She wanted to laugh again.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 The way he thinks he'd be able to defeat her was funny.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sure Chainsaw Man was strong, but, she'd be fighting Denji, not him.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If Denji knew better, he'd know that he should back off this instant.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 She smiles smugly.

"You're aware you'll end up dying, right?"

"I'll never let you have (Y/N)!"

Denji pulls on the cord, turning into chainsaw man.

"Grahahaha!" He laughed manically.

"May the best one win." Makima smiled, revealing chains as past encounters revived. Including Aki, Reze, Angel Devil, and so on.

MAKIMA'S WIN.

𐃬𐃬𐃬𐃬𐃬

Her feet echoed as she stepped on the rumble due to their aftermath.

She grabs Chainsaw Man by his head, whom, was ripped in half.

"Tch."

She rips out a heart.

It was oddly shaped, since it was the Chainsaw Devil, or as Denji called it, Pochita.

"What a waste." She sighs, remembering the battle. Power showed up out of nowhere, trying to defend Denji, and of course, still died. Frankly, Makima was quite annoyed, she spent years thinking she'll eventually fight *The* Chainsaw Devil. And yet, the devil didn't even come out to fight her, and she instead won against Denji.

Taking a cigarette from one of the corpses she used, she sat down.

Smoking for the first time.

She coughed.

"It doesn't matter now." She spoke with a hoarse voice.

She held Pochita close, "We'll get rid of the unnecessary together, that way, (Y/N) and I will be able to live in a world of peace. We'll start a family together, and perhaps you can be included too? You'll be like a child to us." She smiled.

"We'll have a happy life."

She paused, her smile widening.

"Ah. They arrived." She looks back, picking up your scent.

"W-What... Happened here?" You looked at the mess.

Makima called you in out of nowhere.

"There was quite a fight."

"I can guess, Makima." You remarked.

"Can you guess who won?" She tilted her head.

"What's that on your hand?" You peeked.

"The key to our ideal life." She showed, you paused.

"How did you obtain it?" You ask, sweating.

You knew the answer.

And yet, you still asked.

"He's dead."

"You... I thought we weren't actually going to kill him!" You gasped.

"Hahaha... How else would we obtain the heart?" She laughed, with her usual hollow laugh.

DENJI'S WIN.

𐃬𐃬𐃬𐃬𐃬

He panted.

He defeated Makima.

He was lucky Power managed to show up in time.

Though, he could praise himself for letting Makima's guard down, that required planning.

"Huh." Makima let out.

"Chainsaw Man didn't come to save me." She furrowed her eyebrows, looking down as her blood splattered. She wasn't even fully split, it just stopped at her torso.

"Guess (Y/N)'s all mine now, huh?" He smiled.

The life she wanted with you, crumbled before her eyes.

"This is hardly enough to..."

"I know."

His chainsaw rumbles.

˖⁺‧₊˚

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner." You smiled,

"Yeah.. I just wanted to prove that I'm getting better at cooking!" He smiled, walking towards you as he handed you your plate. "That way you can depend on your boyfriend a little more." He sat down.

You blush a bit.

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't gained some form of love towards him.

You catch the smell of the food, your smile widening.

"This looks delicious, Denji!" You praised.

"After you, you're older than me after all."

"Thank you for the food," you quickly prayed, digging in.

The flavor was immaculate, the way everything was fried was to perfection.

"Where'd you get this meat from? It tastes better than the store I get it from." You spoke, taking another bite as Denji ate his.

He kept chewing, allowing a moment of silence, before he swallowed it.

"It's Makima." He spoke, taking another bite.

"Pardon?" You drop a piece of food from your chopsticks, your smile now fading.

To be honest,

Makima hasn't called you in for a while, you thought it was because she's been busy with work, you'd rather not bother her.

"You're eating Makima."

It finally dawned on you.

You were eating your once lover, prepared by your current lover.

You wanted to barf.

[harrywavycurly]

Can we get a glimpse of how TND Eddie asked Reader to marry him? I miss them

Hiii lovey!! Awe I miss them too, so in my mind Eddie has this whole thing planned out but this is how I feel like it really went😂 so hope you enjoy this conversation!!💖

Tag List: @sinczir @rach5ive @bruher @kellyxo1 @tiannamortis @forrestfantasy94 @angelina16torres-blog @tlclick73 @gretavankleep37 @melaninjhs @amira0303 @robyn-118 @jaydaaasworld @squidscottjeans @rockstarmunsons @alanamarie @dandelionnfluff @aol1997-blog @eddiesguitarskills @vampdaisysworld @br66klynbaby @raven-rust @daisyridleyyyy @i-love-ptv @josephquinnsfreckles @mrsjellymunson @hideoutside @eddiemunson-fanfic @paprikaquinn @burns-in-the-sun @cherrycolas-things @exploding-bonbon @krazyk99 @idkbbyx3 @amberpanda99 @munsonmecrazy

-find all things Trouble Next Door here✨

“Hey Jim thanks for coming over.” “It seemed kinda urgent on the phone…she didn’t get arrested or anything did she?” “What? No no…she’s fine she’s upstairs reading or something.” “Okay then…what’s up? What do you need?” “Uhm I just wanted to see if you’d be okay…uh with me…uhm maybe…asking-” “let me stop you right there kiddo…you don’t need my permission to ask her anything okay? You make her happy and that makes me happy.” “I mean you’re like a father to her so figured I’d just ask.” “Well I mean I appreciate it and if it makes you feel better you uh…have my permission…so what’s the ring look like?” “Oh uh here….what do you think? Think she’ll like it?” “Think who will like what?” “Oh shit shit…shit.” “Heyyy sweetheart sorry to uh just drop by like this uhm…I was going to see if you two wanted to go to dinner?” “What’s going on? Why does Eddie look like he’s about to faint?” “He’s fine…right Eddie? You’re…fine?” “What’s that?” “What’s what baby?” “That thing you just put in your pocket Eddie don’t act like I’m an idiot.” “Oh it’s just a receipt….from the store.” “Did…did you just lie to me?” “On that note…nice seeing you two I’ll uhm just go bother Wayne…have a good night.” “Oh like hell you are…no one is leaving this living room until someone tells me what’s going on.” “Nothing is going on baby…come on let’s go make dinner.” “Edward James Munson I have known you almost my whole life so I know when you’re lying so please…stop the bullshit and tell me what’s going on.” “You don’t want him to do that kiddo…trust me.” “What does that even mean?” “Baby please just…let me make you some dinner and then we can watch a movie.” “Oh god she’s about to start crying Eddie…just do it.” “What? I’m not doing it now this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen.” “Nothing that has to do with the two of you happens the way it’s supposed to do just do it…before she really starts crying.” “Fine…but I just want you to know sweetheart this…this isn’t how I imagined doing this…” “holy shit you’re…that’s one knee…you’re on one knee…oh my god is that….is that a ring? Are you-” “if you’d give me a minute sweetheart I’ll tell you exactly what I’m doing.” “Right yeah yeah…sorry…uhm…continue.” “Baby…I have loved you since we were teenagers and I promise I’ll love you for the rest of my life and…fuck I had this whole speech written down and it’s just…it’s all gone to shit but…I just…want to be your husband if you’d do me the honor of being my wife? Maybe? If you’re interested?” “You’re so romantic… yes I’ll marry you Eddie…I love you.” “Oh thank fuck…I love you too…do you like it?” “It’s beautiful…did Wayne help you pick it out?” “No…I did all by myself.” “You did good.” “Congratulations…uh am I free to go now?” “Oh my god I’m sorry Jim…yes you can leave now…or you can take us out to celebrate?” “Always trying to get free food from me…but fine let’s go before I change my mind but you know if we don’t call Wayne he’s gonna be pissed.” “Calling him now…let’s roll Munson gang!” “Engaged for two minutes and she’s already calling herself a Munson…”

[itjazzbicch]

Forever Crazy

Pairing:  Husband!Leonard Burns x Wife!Fem Reader

First time writing for Burns, so I hope I did well!

Summary: (As a part of my calendar reaction series):

Seeing the new fire force calendar, the reader is still madly in love with her husband she's been with for a long time, taken by surprise when he comes home and sees that she's still so crazy about him...

Warnings: SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Foreplay, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie

Word Count: 1k

“Did you see that next year’s new calendar is out?”

This was my favorite time of the year. Every time a new calendar was released, I had to see Leonard’s page. My best friend knew that as we were at the store, getting the calendars for ourselves, as both our husbands were in the force.

“Why do you think I’m here?” I laughed with her, both of us picking up a copy, flipping through to find what we came for.

Leonard never ceased to blow my mind in all the years we spent together. My mind blocked out the rest of his squad, solely fixed on him.

My best friend was going through the same experience while finding her husband’s page, singing a holiday tune jokingly:

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

“You’re too much,” I giggled softly, lost in Leonard’s image, holding the calendar to my chest as she poked her head over to me:

“And you’re almost drooling!”

“Leave me alone!” I scolded playfully, shooing at her, “You know I’m still madly in love with him. I’ll never get over that I married such a fox.”

“I know. You two were meant to be,” She smiled, guiding me to the register, “But wait till you’re home to be drooling like that.”

“Shush!” I scolded again, rushing to the register, slightly embarrassed.

Saying goodbye to my friend, I quickly made my way home. Leaving the calendar on the counter, I figured I’d start dinner. Leonard would be home soon, and I always loved his smile when he came home to one of his favorite meals.

Dinner didn’t take me long to prep. Our food was in the oven as I washed my hands, relaxing against the counter as my eyes found the calendar.

I couldn’t resist, drying my hands and flipping back to Leonard’s page, completely gone in his image, memories, and endless fantasies of him.

“Hm, what are you doing, beautiful?”

Leonard’s voice made me jump, the calendar smacking the floor, holding my chest as I gasped for air:

“Leonard! You scared me half to death!”

“I said I was home when I came in,” I didn’t even hear him come in! He found it funny, rubbing my back and looking at what I dropped, a grin on his face, “Ahh, I see.”

Backing against the counter, I covered my bashful face as he picked up the calendar that was still on his page.

“Was someone having a little personal time?”

“You’re a wonderful sight, honey,” I muttered, filled with butterflies as he put the calendar down, towering over me with his chest revealed through the gap in his shirt, his blue eye beaming into mine.

“That right?” He smirked, toying with the trim of my dress before slithering up my thigh, thumb grazing the lace of my panties and feeling how they were damp, mushing the slick against my clit, his whisper making me jitter, “You’re that wet just from staring at a photo of me?”

“I can’t control it,” Putting my head down, he made sure my eyes stayed on him, unbuttoning his shirt some, still rubbing at my clit:

“Well, aren’t you blessed? Having the real deal right in front of you?”

“Surely blessed,” Whimpering, his thumb bundling my nerves had my walls clenching around nothing, making my thighs quiver, mouth watering at his silver, broad chest, moaning at his finger slipping into my panties, sliding through the wetness before giving my walls something to squeeze.

“All these years, and you’re crazy about me like we just met,” Kissing me, I couldn’t kiss back without my lips breaking in moans, only a finger creating a good stretch, clinging to his shoulders and rolling off my tongue:

“I’ll always be crazy about you, Leo.”

“That’s good to know,” Pulling back and pushing my panties to the side, I heard his belt buckle jingling, glancing to the oven as I knew where things were heading:

“I have to watch the stove-“

“We can keep an eye on it,” Picking my leg up by the calf, he turned me against the floor-to-ceiling cabinet where I wouldn’t slip or fall, stretching it up for access to my dripping cunt, “Nothing wrong with an appetizer before dinner.”

“You’re not wrong,” I blushed, hugging his head as he slipped into me so quickly, my backside smacking against the cabinet, jaw hanging as a bright flash blinded me, “Baby!”

“Yeah?” He snickered, amused but humming against my neck, grinding his cock deeper into me slowly.

“F-Faster?” He always made me desperate for more in an instant, the weight of his chest heavy against mine and had my breaths shaky, “Please?”

My back was glued to the cabinet, shaking as he bucked his hips into me, the sweetest moans flooding his ear, trying so hard to stay up, but the way his tip attacked my sweet spot, my legs started to fail me.

“I really make you weak, huh?” Holding me up by the thighs, I wrapped all fours around him, nearly screaming at the new depth; his cock was beginning to feel like too much, but I still wanted it.

“Uh huh!” Tangling my hair and his silver locks, I put a smile on his face with all my moans and praises; the way I’d lose control always made him proud of himself, but growing serious as the pressure in my core gained more weight, “I love you, Leo.”

“I love you too, honey,” Throwing up a rougher thrust, I kissed him, pressing my lips harder and harder as I struggled to breathe, hips jerking as his thrusts stayed calculated, driving deep to push me to my limit.

“G-God,” I swallowed down just to choke on my breath, gasping out as I started to cum and pulsate, “Ngh, ugh!”

Just as I came, the timer for the oven went off. I glanced at it, but he brought my eyes back to his.

“It can wait a minute,” Rapidly firing his hips, I came again before I even realized it, his cock so hot and twitching against my walls, stuffed deep in my womb and spilling his seed as he stilled, “You can let me enjoy this.”

“Of course, baby,” I enjoyed it too, more than he knew, kissing his cheek and cooing, “I’d never ignore something so good.”

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome

[thefallennightmare]

Moment of Weakness-fifteen

*credit to whoever created the gif. found on google/Pinterest *

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: language, smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Notes: So, this chapter is only going to have Steve and reader in it, hence the Chris Evans gif at the top. Also, this is what I picture Steve looks like in this story. Please don't hate me for this chapter 😬

Tags(open): @splendidreads @sebsgirl71479 @mdpplgtz03 @pattiemac1 @unaxv @elizacusi-blog @alana4610 @broadwaybabe18 @themayzittcha @playboystark @raajali3 @ozwriterchick @ragamuffin285 @screamingdying @themorningsunshine @kenziekugler22 @calwitch @sebastianstansqueen @stanaddict @stucky-simp03 @sleyeveryday @loustan90 @lyra-black13 @valsworldofcreativity @cjand10 @tesseract69 @batprincess1013 @subwaysurf45 @arsonfrogger @winters1917 @yoruse @5moremin @lipstickandtanqueray @mandijo17 @joannaromanoff @justsebstan

The noise of the television was white noise as I stared into the void in front of me, chewing nervously on my thumb nail while my knee rapidly bounced. Every little bump or creak made me jump, unsure if someone was about to break in and cash in on the hit against me. 

It didn’t help that I didn’t hear from Bucky, not once, the entire night. He said he would handle it but my faith in him was a bit deterred at this moment. How could he if he was busy with Natasha? 

I even thought of sending him a message but knew it would only be ignored. Especially with the picture I had seen Natasha post on her Instagram story an hour ago. 

Bucky laying shirtless in what I would assume was their bed, his back to her phone and it was clear he was fast asleep. The caption did nothing to mend the crack in my heart. 

He always knows the best way to keep me happy. 

Jealousy, anger, and stupidity washed over me because I kept getting reminders that at the end of the day, Bucky would always go back to her. Even after our afternoon together, he still laid with Natasha, in more ways than one. 

“Hey,” Steve’s soft hand covered my knee, halting its movements. “It’s alright. Nothing is going to happen while I’m here.” 

I gave him a forceful smile. “Sure.” 

He sighed while leaning against the couch, his large arm extending over the back of it. I could stop the way I slowly leaned into him, needing that feeling of protection, and looked into his eyes. 

There was this perfect man, right in front of me, and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he would give me everything if I asked for it. 

I cupped his cheek, thumb tracing his jawline. “Thank you for being here.” 

“Of course,” he nodded, placing a soft kiss inside my palm. 

We faltered back to our previous position, sitting next to each other, as I forced my eyes to watch the television. 

Steve had spent the majority of the night trying to keep my mind off of things; making me something to eat or watching stupid movies but nothing worked. My mind kept wandering to the thought of someone sneaking up behind me and slicing my throat.

“Maybe it was a mistake for taking this job,” I muttered to myself. “For many reasons.” 

“Hey,” Steve lifted my chin with a gentle finger. “We’re going to figure this out, alright? I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

I nodded in his grasp. “You’ll stay all night?” 

He gave me his own nod. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.” 

The nickname, the same nickname that Bucky called me, felt different coming from Steve. Almost as if it was uttered with promise and love. It made my knees weak. 

With his vow, I allowed myself to sink further into the couch and his small embrace and watched whatever movie he decided to put on. But as the night wore on, the movie becoming less interesting, I sighed and began to lean over Steve to grab the remote. 

“What are you doing?” He chuckled. 

“I can’t stand this movie, it’s terrible,” I groaned. 

With a slight slip of my position, I ended up falling on top of Steve, who’s arms wrapped around me in order to stop me from falling off of the couch. Our faces were so close that I could feel his warm breath dance across my lips and with the slight movement, I brushed my nose against his. 

Both of us were unsure of what to do or say, this new proximity foreign to us. My heart raced as Steve brushed away the hair that fell into his face and palmed my cheek, me leaning into his touch. 

His leg wrapped around mine, a way to keep me locked into place. 

“Steve?” 

My voice came out in a hushed tone. 

“Hm?” He hummed, the vibrations of it rattling against my chest. 

Flash images of Steve and I together, naked rolling around in the sheets of my bed, burned deep into my mind and I caught my bottom lip between my teeth, a small ounce of guilt pulling my heart down. 

Bucky. 

We weren’t actually together, though, so what was happening between Steve and I wasn’t wrong. It felt more right than Bucky and I did. 

So why couldn’t I stay away from Bucky?

“I think I’m going to go take a shower,” I pressed a hand on top of his chest, halting our faces leaning towards each other. 

A small moan fell from my lips when his cock twitched against my core. 

With a slight nod, Steve released me from his grip and I detached from him, muttering to myself that I needed a long, cold shower. 

The shower did absolutely nothing to calm me down from thoughts of Steve. All I could do was wonder what his lips tasted like. 

With the towel wrapped tight around me, I shut off the bathroom light and walked into the hallway, gaze falling onto Steve who sat on the couch, bottom lip caught in between his teeth. Even with the distance between us, I could see how dark his eyes were. 

Lust. 

I swallowed thickly as his name fell from my lips with a yearning to feel his own. 

Steve closed the gap between us in a few strides. “Tell me to stop and I will.” 

I didn’t utter a word, only squeezing the tension I felt between my legs.  

This might cause problems between Bucky and I but it didn’t matter anymore. I had been so blind by this affair that I allowed myself to fall for someone who couldn’t commit to me. 

The way my own name sounded on his tongue caused my body to shiver and I held the towel closer to me. There was a voice in the back of my mind to stop fighting it, lean into Steve and allow him to give me what I deserved. 

I finally listened to that voice and stood on the tips of my toes, leaning closer to him, our lips pressing together so softly. 

We both stood frozen, unsure of who should make the next move, but when Steve’s lips began to move, I formed into his figure by wrapping my arms around his back. My palms spread over the wideness of it while Steve walked me back towards the wall, his hips locking me into place. 

I dug my nails down his back to around his sides and pressed ourselves closer together which caused a satisfying friction between our shared cores. 

“Steve,” I whimpered. 

His beard scratched my face in the most blissful way as my fingers now found its way through his hair. Steve bit down on my bottom lip and I went dizzy at the ecstasy I felt when his dick pressed against my pussy, barely covered by the fabric of my towel. 

While his teeth left faint marks over the skin on my neck, I rutted my hips up into him. 

“Oh, fuck,” he grunted. 

Heat spread underneath my skin with the way our hips were moving together, the towel was slowly falling but I did nothing to stop it. 

[peachymilkandcream]

My Husband, My Monster|Part 11|William Afton x Wife!Reader (Finale)

(A/N: So this is the last chapter of the series! Like I said before it was going to be shorter since I have a specific mind in how I want to end it. However, the epilogue is actually Scrapped (Part 2 As well) which can be read on my blog. Also I know this chapter is short but that's just how I wanted to end it. Thank you for all the support and I really appreciate everything you guys have done! Who knows I might make some oneshots or headcanons as the next movie comes out but still feel free to request some if you'd like.)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

================================================

William had been studying tirelessly, trying to determine why it was that these creatures seemed so haunted. His wife didn't even see him for days at a time since he spent all of his time in that shut up place. He had to know the truth. This thing seemed so much like his daughter it was scaring him. Her body had passed in it, true but that didn't explain this feeling that his child was still with him. Maybe it was grief or the fact he couldn't have a proper funeral since an explanation had to be given and everything he worked for would be over. He didn't know.

Out of desperation he tore open the chest cavity and found nothing, of course there would be nothing. But it was still there. It spoke and moved as if it were fully conscious of its actions, more alive than he was at this point. It made no sense, it couldn't be made to make sense.

As he turned, he caught sight of a newspaper article he had pinned up a while ago, back when Freddy's was at its peak. He had pinned it because it made him laugh at the time, some employee fired for tampering with the animatronics telling the media that the machines were haunted and came after him in the night. Back then, William had laughed it off as a disgruntled employee trying to get back at the company because he had been fired. Now reading it the uneasy feeling grew, wondering if he hadn't just been a disgruntled employee.

Whatever was going on here, the answers weren't in this place.

They were at Freddy's.

===============================================

The place had been abandoned all this time. Leaks and stink of rot filled his nostrils, like it had been walked out of and no one looked back. It was disgusting to see his life's work reduced to something like this so quickly. Henry was a vile pig for not taking care of everything he entrusted to him.

The suits were just as they had been, rotting and full of holes. But they were still his. His designs, his everything. He had to know, he had to know what he created.

Each one was ripped apart individually. Searching for the answers as to why his Circus Baby was haunted and if some remnant of the children he had slaughtered still remained. He was losing sleep over this series of what ifs in his brain. If he knew now he would be at peace, finally at peace.

=============================================

Like before there was nothing. Although this time he didn't bother putting them back together. Let them rot in pieces for all he cared. Just some stupid night guard probably high out of his mind trying to make a few bucks in a lawsuit. That's all it was, he was just paranoid. He'd go home now and see his wife, his child, and forget about all of this. Just a bad dream to go away.

That's when he saw them.

The haunting figures of all those he cut down. Each of their little faces, sobbing and coming towards him. He was hallucinating, he had to be! This couldn't be real, it wasn't!

"Get back- get back!" He retreats slowly in fear, picking up a broken chair and waving it at the children to attempt to keep them at bay. However this proved unsuccessful as they refused to relent and pushed him into the corner.

"What do you want from me!?"

They refused to answer, continuing to approach their attacker.

"You vicious little beasts I said to stay back!" As he stepped closer to the wall his foot hit something hard.

Behind his back was his rotting suit, the same one used to kill these miserable children. He would be protected in there, safe inside and with metal protecting him he could escape, bring his beloved suit with him and be free of this nightmare. Hell, he'd even come back to burn it to the ground.

Quickly and without hesitation he climbs into the suit, its smelled of blood and mold but it was home. It was familiar, safe. Somewhere where he could be himself and do what he loved. Such a silly thing to be scared of, a bunch of ghosts. He was invincible in this, invincible!

"Now what will you do!? Look at how small you are, how worthless you are! I made you!" He breaks into laughter, almost embarrassed for being so afraid.

Until he feels the first lock drive itself into his flesh.

"Fuck-!" He tries to relax his breathing to avoid further malfunctions but it's fruitless.

More and more of the locks pierce his flesh, digging through flesh and bone until they're all into their original position. Trying to remove the suit just causes excruciating pain that would do more damage than good. He was going to die here. All of this, all of his dreams and ambitions. Gone. Because of his own stupidity. He had been such a fool. More measures should have been taken, and now he's stuck with the consequences. It was all over. All of it.

The edges of his vision were going black, he was going to die. He knew he was going to die. The last sight on this earth not his precious family but the faces of those he took from this world.

Rage burned inside him, it was their fault. They did this to him.

"I'll see you in hell, you hear me? I always come back, always!"

He collapsed in a pool of his own blood, thoughts of revenge burning in his mind.

Taglist:

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@fandomreader @n3r0-1417 @2pacl0ve

[okimsimp2023]

Ok, I decided to create a mini-column for this blog, namely the personal cry of the soul of the simp, or "This character is my wife, and I'll explain why!".

That's right, I will heartily write in posts about why I like this or that character so much! And hardly anyone will shut me up, because this world needs more posts with positive reviews about the Persians. And the first wife who will become my first post will be Jon Arbuckle from the animated series "Garfield and Friends"! I want to talk specifically about Jon from this cartoon, because he appeared in it much more often and showed a character, and I'm afraid to watch 3d animated series based on Garfield. Well, I'll also warn you that the post was created on emotions, so I'll be dumb at times.

Well, I definitely know that the simps will gather under this post… Hello people, I know you are unlikely to pass by this post, because I will lick the character. If anything, you can write your impressions about the character under this post. Maybe you want to add new things or just share your opinion.

He's cute.

Like… Both in appearance and character. He is funny, awkward, clumsy, and most importantly, he is quite a good guy. Yes, he does all sorts of shit or any nonsense, but that's what Jon is all about, half of Garfield's humor is almost based on this, that he's a loser and a hopeless romantic, and I'm not surprised anymore. But in fact, he does this job perfectly, I really love him with flaws than without them, otherwise I would not be perceived by me as a person with flaws and strange hobbies. Sometimes you look at him and think, "fuck, man, how do I understand you…". And yes, to some extent I like pathetic and nervous men, who are sometimes capable of doing crazy things (and he can also whimper).

2. Attitude towards pets.

dilf dilf dilf dlif dlif dlif dilf dilf dilf dlif dlif dlif dilf dilf dilf dlif dlif dlif-

All right, jokes aside, AHEM. But there is some truth in every joke, so he still DIL-

I like that in this cartoon he sometimes appears to Garfield and other pets as a parental figure (although unsurprisingly, Garfield in some cases behaves like a typical troubled teenager, but without whining, and I also find this charming). True, he is not perfect at all, but still he takes care of his dear boys, and in no other way! And he probably has almost the strongest patience with Garfield, lol. Because if I had such a cat, I might not have been able to stand it and would have gone to a mental hospital myself.- But okay, it's too loud about the latter.

3. Voice.

I don't know if I should mention it, but of course I will. For me personally, his voice is like that... Gentle and pleasant.

4. An apron makes a man 20% more attractive!

I don't know why, but I like that when cooking food, he puts on this little apron lol. But that's not the only reason I've highlighted this item, because I also want to highlight his culinary abilities. Because… Dude, he can cook! Forget about those words that he doesn't know how to cook, it's a complete fucking lie. Jon can cook many dishes at once! And this is just for the sake of feeding the cat.

So if you suddenly work late and come home, then you obviously won't stay hungry, because the same tired Jon managed to cook dinner (and most importantly, make it to dinner, otherwise Garfield will finish before you lol).

5. Dancing

I think it's not worth talking about it, everyone has known about this dance for a long time. BUT HEY, I'LL SAY IT. HE WAS FUCKING AWESOME.

His plastic body, smug face, movements, and this shot of him opening his jacket and a tie with his pet on his chest… The dude literally revealed his whole wonderful essence. I mean it… I am an insecure person myself. I would never go out dancing in front of people, because I can't dance and it sucks. BUT THIS LOSER MAN DID IT, AND HE GETS A KICK OUT OF IT! HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT PEOPLE, HE JUST DANCED. THIS IS MY HOT WIFE EEEEEEEEE-

And that's why this character is my wife. The End.

And I'm sorry that this post came out… It was enough for the little ones, although I could paint everything down to all sorts of little things like interests and other things, but I wrote everything I wanted. For me, Jon seems to have become a comfortable character, and I still don't fully understand why this is so (or is it my hyperfixation). But as long as he makes me happy, I dare not object to anything. And I lived up to the name of this blog, lol.

[foone]

The fundamental problem with comedy is that the highest form is improv. Not "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" style formalized improv, where you ask the audience for suggestions and build a comedic scene around that, but the basic skill of "something just happened, make a joke about that". This got long, so it'll be after a readmore

It's a life skill, not a type of art you produce. Jokes like this don't make it into movies and shows and blogs, it just happens. You're with a friend or two and something funny happens and you make a joke about it, everyone laughs. It's personal, you tell the best joke because you know your audience, you have shared history.

And you can see how we try to capture this in produced comedy: it's why we have comedy movies and sitcoms, literally "situation comedy". It's not just half an hour of stand-up, telling joke after joke, it's about setup and putting the protagonists into situations, and having it be funny, usually with them making a joke about the situation they're now in.

But there's an artificiality to it: the same people writing the situations are the ones writing the witty jokes. They set up the dominoes and they're the one who knocked them over.

And hell, even stand-up is rarely as simple as just "setup->punchline, rinse lather repeat". There are some comedians who can pull that off, but it seems far more comedians are "observational comedians", meaning they're making jokes about the absurdity of the world and modern life. They'll tell a story, even if it's as simple as "so I went to the post office and it was annoying and people were mean and I made jokes about it!". They're doing storytelling: here's the situation, and here's what I said in response, either in the moment, later during this retelling, or some combination of both. (Ed Byrne has a bit where he says "yes I was very witty that day, almost like I had several weeks to come up with the perfect response!")

And maybe the closest we can get to this "in the wild" (meaning in a produced media form) is MST3K and similar riffing. The people making the jokes didn't make the story, so they have plausible deniability. And even if they've seen the movie several times and written out jokes ahead of time, they can feel like they're reacting in the moment.

But the funniest jokes will never be made this way. No sitcom or comedy film will be the funniest, no stand-up one liner or knock knock joke, not even an improv scene that makes you nearly piss yourself in laugher.

The funniest jokes are when you and an old friend are getting ice cream and the person in front of you asks for vanilla with extra sprinkles then sends it back because there's "too many sprinkles" and you turn to them and say "I thought my ex-wife moved back to Chicago!" and you have to leave the establishment because you're crying with laughter and can't get it under control enough to actually make your order. It's something that'll probably only ever make sense to you and your friends, and in that particular moment. You could sit down and explain the situation and the back story but that would never capture one tenth of the humor, and even if they understood, so much of why it's funny is that it happened in that moment and without the setup.

Because even if you are truthfully recounting what happened to someone else later, and don't need to explain all the back story, you're still implicitly telling a story that sets up a situation. This is now a joke, and you might as well start it with "so an Irishman and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."

You're setting then up for all the expectations of comedy. And that inherently ruins some of the comedy! Because comedy, in a way, is an error message. It's a mis-prediction. It's your huge brain trying to do what it does and predict what will happen and what you'll say next and understand the situation and figure out how it'll go, and realizing it's wrong, and fundamentally wrong. It made assumptions that were reasonable to make, but it had those assumptions proven very wrong.

Like, one way this has been described is the idea that jokes are telling two stories: the one you assume, then at the last moment they pull the rug out from under you and reveal there was a second story, and you have to mentally backtrack and retrace your steps to see how the second story is the correct one.

Like, simple example, and I'm sorry to ruin the joke (as someone said, explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: no one's that interested, and the frog dies)

Doctor: I'm sorry, we had to remove your colon

Me Why?

See, the humor comes from how the setup primes you to think that "colon" means the body part, but then the punchline reveals it's talking about the punctuation. The way the first line is interpreted is totally changed by the second, and the humor is how your brain handles to "whoops made a big mistake in how I understood/predicted that!"

And that's why it's never going to be the same level of comedy when telling jokes as just improv'ing a joke while out in the world. You tell someone a joke, they know a joke is coming. They have heard jokes before. Their brain is in joke mode. They are trying to imagine how things could be taken different ways, how the joke could work, what the punchline is.

This is why "a comedian's comedian" is a thing. Your Milton Jones style comedy ("My grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off"), where it's very absurdist and includes a lot of anti-jokes. It's why simple jokes like the above are often called "dad jokes", because they're the kind of jokes you tell kids. Not just because they're not raunchy or anything, but because they're lessons in how jokes work. They're jokes that only work on people who don't yet know how jokes work.

Whereas absurdist comedy and anti-jokes can work amazingly on people who know how jokes work, if you're aiming for that audience. You basically write your jokes so that the audience expects the joke, predicts the punchline, but SURPRISE! the punchline is completely different or not a joke at all. For example:

I'm not like other dads

I’m a 19 yo woman with no kids

The comedy is your brain going into joke-mode and getting ready to figure out all the ways this joke could go and then WHOOPS the joke is that there isn't one and this is a straightforward statement that you got mislead into thinking was going to be a joke.

So, having said all that, hopefully you can understand what I mean. The best jokes are the ones that come out of nowhere because you are 120% not in joke mode. You're out somewhere with a friend trying to do something serious, something happens, then BAM! one of you comes up with something that just perfectly fits the situation and references some shared background/history you have together, and you were not at all expecting it. All your brains predictions were taken up with sensible boring things, and then suddenly BOOM! IN THE COMEDY!

And I think in a way, all produced, scripted (or hell, even unscripted) comedy is about trying to recapture that perfect moment. It's setting up situations for funny punchlines to exist in. It's making the setup so that the punchline works. But it can never fully match that unexpected moment, that perfection, because at its core its always artifical, or at least staged (as there's an expectation for this to be comedy). No one goes to an improv show expecting it to be Macbeth, but a production of The Scottish Play that turned into a comedy could be unexpectedly hilarious, if the audience wasn't expecting it.

But at the same time, even staying in the area of Shakespeare, there's clear differences between, say, Twelfth Night and Romeo and Juliet. The former sets up a bunch of elements that are clearly going to be used for comedy: identical twins, crossdressing, recursive crossdressing, metacrossdressing, unknowing homosexual relationships, disguises, and mistaken identities... All are clearly set ups for comedy. Even at the time, nearly half a millenia ago, these were old, well known tropes in comedy. Shakespeare sets up all the cans knowing he can knock them over later. These things exist in the story so they can lead to comedy, and they do. Maybe not in the ways the audience expects, but they'll lead to hilarity.

And even if there's not a specific punchline, the two-stories thing can be the joke, even when the audience is on it. Like, in the scenes where Olivia is professing her love for "Cesario" (who is actually not a man, but Viola dressed as one).

The audience knows Viola is a woman (and they presume a straight one), but Olivia doesn't (and she's also presumed to be straight). Even without a punchline about this situation, there's inherent comedy in the two separate understandings of the situation. Olivia thinks she loves this nice young man, and wants to woo him. Viola is stuck trying to politely reject her advances, without revealing her disguise. That's uncomfortable (for her) and amusing (for the audience) enough, but then Shakespeare goes one step further and has Viola asked to woo Oliva for her employer, Duke Orsino. That would really twist the screws and make the situation more awkward as Viola has to attempt to woo the woman who is already in love with her, but under false pretenses... Except Shakespeare goes ONE FURTHER and has Viola fall in love with Duke Orsino herself! While Viola can't herself express this love, because as far as Duke Orsino knows, she's a man named Cesario.

And then Viola's identical twin brother shows up and marries Oliva, who thinks he's Cesario, and IT JUST GETS WACKIER. There's plenty of jokes to be had at this absurd situation (and many of them are made!) , but the "first joke" of the whole situation is the way different characters have completely different understandings of what's going on. Olivia thinks she's just in love with a nice young man, Duke Orsino thinks his page is wooing Olivia for him (and definitely his page isn't in love with him), while Viola is stuck in the middle, having to balance maintaining her disguise with not offending Olivia, not failing her master, and then her own love for the Duke just makes everything more complicated.

It's an old story. Literally and figuratively. You set up a weird situation so that it's inherently somewhat funny, then you can put jokes in the moutha of the characters, and you can make the audience laugh at how you took a bunch of people stuck in this absurd situation and then made it weirder.

Anyway, so the reason I wrote this was because I was leaving my house this morning to go grab a coffee, and I saw a truck for a local construction company, "Tech Line". I immediately shouted "Tech L9ne! Cha!" which would have been the funniest thing in the world except no one else was there to hear it, and explaining it ruins the joke.

So instead I just rambled on about the nature of comedy and the truest form of it for 28 paragraphs. This is called a "Shaggy Dog Story". It's also called "ADHD".

[askstevella]

Steve & The Body Pillow // Stevella Fic

- Steve Rogers x Wife!OC

As of late Stella has been obsessed with her new Instagram account since she started posting pictures on there. She wasn’t much of a social media person but currently posting on her story and sharing pictures has become her favorite thing after noticing a couple of their friends do it.

Meanwhile Steve is not.

He could care less about social media platforms. However, he does use them for plenty of reasons himself such as posting pictures of events he’s at, announcements about things like getting a dog or building something for himself and videos of his friends and family members.

Of course he found it nice that his wife wanted to showcase her life on the internet and know what others are up to.

He liked it and told her if he liked a photo or not in her comment section with a remark about it.

One day he decided to have a little fun with his wife’s new tendency toward her phone.

After a long day of working, taking Astro for a walk with the family and helping their friends with dinner, Stella wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with her husband.

As her head hit the pillow, she lets out a content sigh. She smiles to herself and cozies up under the blankets.

Steve joins her a few minutes later and so does an obnoxiously large pillow. Stella has seen a couple versions of that pillow being past around the gang plenty of times before. Steve insisted it could help with his sleep and seeing how popular it was with blogs posts he saw in the group chat with the heroes.

Mia got it for Rochelle who later on gave it to Liane then it pasted onto Rick and so forth. Soon enough everyone was using it to sleep!

It got to a point where they had to buy a couple hundred more of the damn pillow.

Here Stella was staring at the thing. She didn’t think it would end up taking up half of the bed and keeping Steve away from her. She’s been so used to cuddling Steve for years, and now that damn pillow was preventing her from getting close.

Steve rolled his eyes, “I swear you’re someone else sometimes.”

“This isn’t fair. I wanted cuddles with my hunk of a man after a long day!” She complains.

“And I want to be able to sleep without my back hurting but here we are.”

“I’ll give you a back massage.”

“No thanks.”

“I’ll be the big pillow you need instead of that thing.”

“Nope.”

She huffed with her arms cross, “How am I gonna get any sleep now?”

“Close your eyes and count some sheep.” Steve curls up around his body pillow, his eyes closing and a soft smile of contentment appearing over his face.

However she was still pouting.

“What now?” Steve asks, his eyes still shut and a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

“How do you do that?” She sits up and leans in to wave her hand in front of Steve’s face. “Do you have an extra pair of eyes?”

He chuckled, “Stop babe. I want some sleep.”

“I wanted to be your body pillow and have some cuddles. That’s all I ask..”

“Why? So you can post more about it? No thanks.”

Stella’s eyebrow furrowed a bit as she let that sink in and scoffed, “Oh! So that’s what this is all about? You brought that damn pillow out of spite.”

“I knew you would figure it out. Why are you being so annoying?” He said as he sassed her and shoot his eyes open.

“And why you being so mean?”

“What! I am not being mean.”

“Oh right, no, you’re being petty.”

“Babe.”

“…okay fine, I can be annoying.”

“Try a lot.”

“Okay, I’ve been very annoying lately with my posting phase. I’m sorry.”

“I just wish you wouldn’t document every single thing we do.”

“But you said that you found it nice and I can post stuff about our lives—”

“I know what I said! But sometimes I want you to put the phone down and focus on what’s happening in front of you instead of experiencing it all through the phone.”

Stella felt slightly uncomfortable by his words, she knew he was right, but she hated that he had to go out and say it like that. She huffed and pouted, crossing her arms.

“Don’t even give me that look.” Steve said.

“What look?” She replied.

“You know the look. Sorry, sweetheart, but it’s the truth. Let me ask you something.”

“Mhm..”

“Why are you here being obsessed with this?”

“Uh…I don’t know, I fell in love with sharing our stories instead of the press releasing stuff about our experiences..”

That caused Steve to paused and rested his head against the pillow to face her better. He knew Stella enjoy the game of social media but hated the press coverage with great passion, hell they were the ones who told the world about them and their relationship first. Not them!

She didn’t get a say in what happened or could be said. He didn’t like it either—he hated it, he wasn’t one to be the news outlets dancing monkey.

He then asked, “So your doing this, for fans, friends and whatnot could get to know us better..? Not to have pressure of the press on our backs..”

She just nodded and covered her face. She sniffled chuckling at how easy and silly it sounded, yet it looked like a whole bunch of other things.

“Babe, I get it.” Steve said after a brief silence before letting out a sigh, “But I do want you to experience things in the moment and not across a phone. Not post about every single thing, okay?”

“It’s getting kinda annoying, isn’t it?” She muttered.

“Yeah. It is. Next time tell me what you’re doing or what you’re going to post.”

“Why? So you can have a piece of all the action too?”

Steve nodded and smirked, “I mean, yeah! I want to have a say in this.”

“Fair, you should.” She replied chuckling a bit, “I will let you know what happens and you can have a say in all of it.”

“And I was always the better photographer anyway.”

“Hey!”

“Just stating the facts!”

Stella playfully glares at him meanwhile Steve just laughed and snorted.

“Can I have my husband please?” She pleaded chuckling.

“Let me think.” He stated and then smirked, “No.”

“Excuse me?! We made up, this is part where we get to kiss and cuddle.”

“You need a tiny punishment, for at least a little while longer.”

“Steve…”

“You’ll get your cuddles in the morning instead.”

“I—!”

He suddenly looped his finger underneath her chin and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. She made a soft noise at the action then smiled pressing a kiss in return.

//

And we’re done! ✔️ Let me know what you think 💭

Tags 🏷️ @rickb-chaos @purpleprincessonfyre @marvelsfavoriteuncle @therealdaydreamstark @ask-missparker @ask-starrk @askstevella @sci-fi-lexcon @luna-d-marsh @ethan-lensherr @wizzzardofoz z @thechoooooosenone @jackiequick @gcthvile @cherrysft @blueboirick @meiramel @elzabeth-stark @missstrawbs2001 @trulysummersprivate @yetanotherwells @gaminggirlsstuff @fluffystevefest

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Hello! So I figured I should probably share my two cents on this since you seem pretty open for discussion. I understand a previous anon brought up the fact that this isn’t excusing it’s just explaining and I also understand that Magnifico mainly went all villain when that rat book took control, but I also feel like there may be a slight… I’m not sure how to describe it honestly so I’ll let the rest of my ask speak and see if hopefully my point tangible.

Magnifico did hold a weapon to Amaya’s face to threaten her into agreeing with him, and based on her reaction to seeing him with the evil magic (rapid breathing, shaky speech, flinching, instant fawn + freeze reaction) it’s possible she likely has some form of trauma that I personally believe may have been a abusive relationship.

I should say I am NOT a Magnifico hater, I don’t believe he was a villain at all but I’m not sure about hero. Of course I’m open to hearing others out and I’m entirely open to learning new things and changing my opinions! So this isn’t me saying ‘No you’re wrong I’m right’ it’s just intended as me giving my own personal views and asking for yours in return! Sorry for the three paragraph ask and I hope that you have a great day! 💙

(Also to people who hate on Magnifico that are coming to this account, just why?? Just leave instead of throwing a hissy fit in this persons asks whose just being kind and sharing their personal views, it’s that easy 😒)

Hey anon!

First of all, thank you for being so nice and defending me! Absolutely right! It's beyond me how someone who doesn't like him comes to my blog to nagg at me for loving and defending him, make me a bad person and furthermore accuse me of things .... crazy, anyway! Don't apologize for this long ask! 😆 I appreciate you wanting my opinion! I also wish you a great day! 💙

Now, let's begin this, shall we?

I can actually explain this as well!! 😃 (and no, it doesn't have anything to do with me loving and defending Magnifico. (Well mostly. *Eherm*) this is based on logical observations!

Soo, Amaya's reactions ... I'm absolutely sure they're not because he's been abusive. Magnifico had been nothing but a sweetheart to her. The explanations are much simpler and relatable.

Amaya knew that Magnifico was able to do great magic, she knew he was very powerful. But she also knew the evil book was powerful. She didn't know to what degree but what do you think happens to someone who's already powerful and gets posessed/controlled by an evil force?

Exactly. They become dangerous and unpredictable. The more power someone has the more dangerous they'd be if posessed by evil. Think of the nicest, sweetest dog, who'd never bite, never do anything bad. If this dog was to get posessed by an evil force, it could maul someone to death. It has teeth and a very powerful jaw to begin with.

The other thing is, who wouldn't flinch if someone pointed a weapon at them? This is a natural human reflex. Yes, some people are jumpier than others (I am 🤣, truly! Sometimes my coworker sneaks up on me while I work on a client to whisper something in my ear and I squeal in shock every single time. It's funny for everyone but me.) But we're talking about Amaya here! It's normal for the body to react if threatened. So we have our reasons why she went fawn mode.

Also, one of the first things she says to him is "How could you!" So, he's already in a very bad place, traumatized, suffering and on top posessed by evil now, and the first thing he's confronted with by his "wife" is blame. Nice. Blame! Guilt tripping and cornering him even further! Bravo Amaya 👏🏼

So Amaya being scared is relatable and justified. But does her being afraid justify her dumping and backstabbing Magnifico? No.

Just look at her smirk as she gives the guards the order to put him in the dungeons! I'm fine with Amaya x Magnifico shippers but I personally will never ship them! Poor man was desperate and shocked at how quickly and with how much ease she was writing him off.

If Magnifico had been her soulmate, she would have fought to death to get him back. Just imagine, if she had stood up and defended him, pleading her people to help her, saying something like : "Listen to me! Magnifico isn't evil, he's posessed by evil! I know he's dangerous and unpredictable right now but I know he's still in there somewhere and if we can reach him, we can get him back! I know you're scared, I am too, but together we can make it! Please, stand with me!"

I mean, she's the queen, alright? The people of Rosas are to obey and follow her command right after Magnifico. One right word of her and her people would follow her and not Asha. Btw. She could have also asked Asha and her friends to help her. I don't think they would have disagreed if she'd pleaded with them. She's their queen! Or would Asha have turned against Amaya as well then? 😐

You cannot tell me they wouldn't have been able to reach and save Magnifico by standing together in love and bold compassion! We literally saw how the wishes and (star) were set free from the evil force just by singing and standing together! Only imagine they had done this to free Magnifico! Saying he wasn't savable because the evil book said so is bullcrap.

I don't believe the evil book! A evil book is well, evil! And light will always be more powerful than darkness! Love will always be stronger than hate! Imagine a room full of darkness, then light a match, that tiny speck of light is still glowing! The dark cannot consume it! Because in light there cannot be darkness. And what does a evil book do besides destroy and corrupt?

Also, this looks painful! 🥺☝🏻this is nothing but incredibly tragic and sad!

Also, in the past, every single heroine has managed to break curses by true love and compassion! I was reminded of Moana and Te fiti for this!

Do you guys remember that scene, where Moana realizes that Te Fiti is still inside the posessed evil monster? Was Moana afraid? Sure she was! But did that stop her from reaching out to get her back? No!

Te ka (evil Te Fiti) could have burned Moana to a crisp in the split of 2 seconds but Moana still bravely approached her! She willingly faced death because she knew Te Fiti was still in there and by her immense love and compassion she'd get her back! She went "this is not who you are!" And boom!

There's more!

I also remember a scene from the 2 Maleficent live action! When Maleficent was consumed and controlled by hate, anger and revenge. She was all hiss, roar, I'm evil and Aurora stood up to her and told her "This isn't you! There's another way! I know who you are! I know you!" And Maleficent replies "You do not!" And Aurora in tears, in pain but 100% certain, says "Yes I do! You're my mother!"

And just like that the evil in Maleficent crumbles. True loves overcomes all evil! It's always been that way.

And even if no one would have helped Amaya, we'd still have the (true love breaks every curse!) But she did nothing. Well, she did run to Asha and her friends to sing about how bad he's always been like a pop star. She gave Magnifico up over the course of minutes, didn't even try fighting to get him back and wrote him off with a smile!

Magnifico was deeply hurt, the betrayal stung and he suffered inside. He had so much pain and anger and his anger is justified! Please, put yourself in his shoes for a moment. One doesn't even have to fully understand trauma and the whole complexity of the different forms of ptsd.

He only ever tried his best to have everyone happy and content. He only ever wanted to protect and keep safe. That's always been his goal. He held onto his power because he wanted to be strong enough to keep whats dear to him from harm at all costs! If someone wants to protect that fiercly it only means that person loves immensly 1 and 2 has suffered unbelievable painful loss. He loved his people! He cared for his people immensly. So much so he was willing to get himself posessed by evil even if he never wanted to! He felt forced by his desperation and utter fear.

And what did his people do in the end? Can you imagine how badly it must have hurt to realize you've only been loved for what you can do and give? How used he must have felt? He's been celebrated more for being handsome and a limitless genie than a loving king who established an amazing kingdom and ruled it well! He's bent backwards and all it took his people to turn on him was a teenager who thinks she knows better than anyone with a strange cute looking creature from the sky, they btw. knew just as little about!

Everyone backstabbed and betrayed him. Here he is, at the peak of all his suffering and posessed. His soul surely cried for help, hoped for anyone to reach out to him but no one did. He got kicked into his wound even further. Quite literally, this was the thanks he got.

[gudsouplady]

Watching Sherlock (S1,E3) The Great Game (Spoilers) (Tw: This show has a lot of showing and mentioning of guns,Dead bodies,Drugs,War etc.If you don’t like that stuff then I advise you to not read this post)

• Minsk,Belarus in a jail

• Sherlock grammatically correcting him

• That wasn’t an accident

• Death penalty ????

• I Love the intro (as always)

• Why is Sherlock shooting a gun at the wall ????????????

• John arrived at the perfect time

• He’s that bored

• the head in the fridge

• Sherlock hates the blog

• The whole rant about the solar system is just so funny

• Sherlock would hate tumblr

• John just couldn’t take it and left

• Mrs Hudson !!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Sherlock watching John leave

• “What have you done to my Bl00DY wall ????? ”

• Baker Street exploded 💥

• John stayed at Sarah’s house 🏠

• John made it to Baker Street

• Sherlock and Mycroft

• Person found dead on train tracks

• Mycroft is kinda creepy

• Sherlock just played Mycroft the door 🎻

• Sherlock has been summoned

• “I’d be lost without my blogger”

• Who wrote the letter ✉️ ?????

• The pink phone has returned

• idk what the Greenwich pips are ?????

• A picture of an empty room

• They all blanked Mrs Hudson :(

• A pair of trainers in the middle of the room 👟👟

• Of course it’s a blocked number

• Is the woman ok

• A bomb vest on her body 💣 !!!!

• why does someone want her dead

• Investigating the trainers 👟

• The way John reached in the Sherlock’s coat whilst Sherlock is wearing it

• Text from Mycroft is obviously going be deleted

• The search was completed

• IT’S ANDREW SCOTT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Molly has a boyfriend called Jim

• Jim is causing havoc

• No wonder Molly ran away after your deduction

• The tension between John and Sherlock Istg

• John only wants to help

• John is sherlock’s best man

• John has been notified about the Westie case

• Sherlock finally figured out Carl Powers

• Back at Scotland Yard

• 4 pips and a picture of a car

• Another mysterious phone call from a different person

• They found the car drenched in blood

• Talking to his wife went unsuccessful

• The car is from Janus cars

• The car Dealer was a liar

• The red Laser on the forehead

• Janus cars help Ian disappear to Columba

• Why are there so many running police officers

• A picture of a woman and 3 pips

• An elderly blind woman :(

• “Sudden death” of Connie prince

• John has been set to go to the Prince family

• I don’t like Connie’s brother

• John doesn’t like the cat

• Mrs Hudson has some wise words

• John is on to something !!!!

• Sherlock taking terrible photos

• They figured it out

• The old woman….Nooooooooooooo

• Someone got arrested

• A picture of the Thames

• A dead body on the Thames

• Why is the mouth bruised

• A missing portrait

• Link to a serial killer

• He used to be a security guard

• What did the note say and why did he give it to that woman ????

• John is at Alex’s flat

• The gallery managers necklace is ugly

• “Have a nice day”

• John is just interviewing everyone

• I don’t like Joe

• “Vauxhall Arches”

• Sherlock has a homeless network

• why is Alex there ??????

• Is that the professor from the voicemail

• JOHN ALMOST SAVED SHERLOCK

• Golem got away

• Another victim but it’s a child :(

• 10 seconds…

• He figured it out

• Is the gallery manager a part of the calls ???

• It’s been Moriatry all along

• The body was moved

• Joe killed westie

• Joe tried to hurt John but John was prepared

• Why did Westie not put the memory stick somewhere safe and off his person

• He shoved Westie down the stairs and killed him

• “Look at the turn ups on his jeans”

• Sherlock will get the food shopping 🛒

• Who’s going to meet Sherlock at the pool

• John has the vest on !!!!!!!

• Who wants to hurt John !!!!

• It’s Jim Moriarty !!!!!

• He’s a consulting criminal

• “Daddy’s had enough now”

• “THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE DO”

• John is trying to sacrifice himself for Sherlock

• Lasers on the forehead

• Is he really just going to walk out

• *Moriarty’s surprised face*

• “No you won’t”

• He came back

• is he going to shoot The vest ???????

I rate this episode 10/10 because it was surprising and I loved the reveal of Moriarty as he has been spoken about throughout the series and I’m excited to watch season two

[generalluxun]

My TotK experience and how it shaped my TotK shipping.

I'm writing this out because I got static on a random post for mentioning my headcanon, and I figure my own blog is a safe place to write it all down and get my experience in one place for better or worse. I'm a mutishipper by temprement, so you can and should ship what you like. Do not think by outlining my experience and thoughts I am trying to invalidate your own. Totk and BotW are both games with amazing emergent gameplay. The written narrative is only a fraction of the tale as you write your own version of events by what you choose to do and in what order you do it.

My wife is a huge Zelda fan. I enjoy the games, but she is the one who keeps them coming in. She's got a Triforce Engagement Pendant(try putting that on a ring!) we saw the Symphony of the Fates on our wedding night(and our first not-date years before) Zelda is a thing.

So I played BotW, and I played TotK. I enjoyed them both! At the end of BotW I was sure Zelink was a cute sure thing. I was happy! (My wife was frustrated Zelda didn't tell Link how she felt 😆)

Then we played TotK. Six years later, Zelda and Link are spelunking and boom the game yeets Zelda away. Couples-time, we barely knew ye. Now, both my wife and I play our own separate saves. We generally avoid spiling for each other, and we play quite differently. (In BotW I went right for the castle, found the basement, and ended up fighting the Stalnox that protected the Hylean Shield with 4 hearts. In TotK she mapped the entire underground early on)

My TotK experience began with me making a bee-line for Gerudo town after talking to Purrah/Robbie and exploring the castle a little. I liked the Gerudo plotline in BotW and wanted to see what was going down over there these days.

The Gerudo plotline is definitely fun (uh spoilers I guess?) Seeing Riju grown and trying to be a strong leader was awesome. (I have a headcanon she's still short because she met Link. She knew exactly how tall the strongest warrior in all of Hyrule was, and so why get any taller than that?)

I completed the temple, got my first sage power, and now several things converged.

1)Okay, so Riju's crush on Link in her Diary is cute. Not unique, everyone crushes on Link!

2)I decided to explore after completing this quest. Checking out the corners, completing my map, gaining some shrines, etc. This means I spent a lot of time with Riju as my only sage. We crossed Hyrule and back time and time again, checking on people, visiting old haunts, and fighting enemies way past my weapon's abilities thanks to her lighting.

3)Riju is the most interactive of the sage powers. Activate the power, and then you have to actually work with her to trigger it. It's not temperamental like Yunobo's either. Riju will hold ready for you for quite some time. It's also very versatile. Explode enemies, blow up mining points, and one of my favorites- Light the underdark. There's something deeply intimate about being surrounded by darkness with only your partner's power to light the way for you.

It made Riju one heck of a travel companion. Just having someone *anyone* along with Link, him not being alone, felt so good after being alone in BotW. The Warrior of Light and his Sage companion. Little tales wrote themselves, like an epic saga.

Still, Zelink was still a thing, right? Then You run into Link's old home in Hateno. It's changed, definitely. You find Zelda's lab. You find her Diary. -Now, here I know the Japanese version has a very different tone, but I didn't have that version so I only got the English- reading Zelda's words painted a picture of a close bond, but also not a classical 'ship' one. Combine this with some of the other tidbits and memories collected on the journey and it just painted a very different picture for me(and my wife) There may have been dialogs we missed too, it's a vast open world game, and this is a retelling of my playthrough, not a comprehensive thesis based on all the lore available on a wiki.

This Zelda, being Aro/Ace. Or at least if not, being so immersed in her work and duty that something like a traditional relationship isn't on the radar for her. She's got her Science. She's got her Kingdom. She's got her curiosity. These things Matter to her. A romantic relationship? Just didn't feel like it did.

Link is still the most important person in the world to her. He's her Knight. He's reliable, supportive, dedicated, brave. He's as vital to her as her own two hands. A respectful Link could easily be seen accepting this role. Zelda's vital to him too. He cares for her and will always be there. It's his duty, and his passion. The two are inseparable. They're just not a *couple*

So, where does this leave us? Link and Zelda will travel together always. Riju is Queen of the Gerudo and cannot just leave her people. She's also someone who my TotK Link spent time with (in my writer's brain the sage-mirages actually sent impressions back to the Sages in their dreams, and as time went by the link between the two could be two ways, like a form of active astral projection in a crisis)

So a RiLink relationship that is built on respect and trials together, but that understands the duties placed on both just seemed cute. He's still with Zelda, she's still with her people. She'll eventually end up with a hero's child, and the one male ever allowed into Gerudo town will be able to visit his future child and maybe even pave the way for a more open Gerudo society in the long run.

Zelda and Link are still constant companions day-to-day though. She's the Queen(eventually? Still princess?) he's her Knight. Their relationship is still built on respect and shared hardships(much like RiLink) They're just not an 'item'. They're liege and retainer.

I did the 'Wait how old is Riju?' thing as this was starting to come into focus, because she was young in BotW 😅 She's 17... I think? Fantasy setting, it seemed fine to ship. I mean, everyone thinks Mipha crushing on Link is adorable, and she saw him first when he was a little tot! 🤣

So, that's it really just kind of laying out my ship and why I think it's cute. I welcome any and all comments provided they're couched politiely.

[elegantwoes]

The only reason why you hate Lyanna is because she wasn’t an obedient and demure proper lady who did her duty and sacrifice by marrying Robert. That’s literally it. You may hide behind the omg we actually only hate Rhaegar because he humiliated his wife, but you don’t even try to hide your disdain for her 😭 You’d rather have her marry Robert (he cheat on her and fathered Bella when Lyanna was allegedly sequestrated) whom she doesn’t want, endure his humiliations, cheating, rape, and beating (Robert would turn towards it the second he could) and given the repeated pattern on here, the fandom think she’s evil because she wasn’t mindful of her duty and wasn’t doing her duty and sacrifice or any other of the conservative ideas. And that's what you expect from women. To submit to their fates, to men. Only those women who stick to the patriarchal norms and perform their patriarchal duties (accepting and silently endure abuse) are worthy of their sympathy. And then yall call yourselves feminists.

Anon are you okay? I haven’t talked about Lyanna in ages. Unless you are counting the one about who my ideal fancast for her is. Secondly you are stupid if you believe I want Lyanna to marry Robert and put up with his degenerate behavior. Newsflash I stan Cersei Lannister. In my opinion killing Robert is easily the greatest deed Cersei ever did. No woman would ever put up with his trifling ass. In fact I would argue that any woman would plot against him to enjoy widowhood and I would cheer each one of them too. And please let’s not act like Rhaegar isn’t the same person like Robert. He’s a rapist just like Robert. As far as I am concerned they are the two sides of the same Henry the Eight figure. Robert fits the more well known side of him:

Fat

Indulges in pleasures way too much

Extremely cavalier to women

A pedophile (ex. Barra’s mother and Catherine Howard)

Rheagar fits the younger version:

Married to a Catherine of Aragorn figure (Elia)

Sees women as incubators

Obsessed with a prophecy just like Henry was obsessed with having an heir, to the point of disregarding their wife so ruthlessly.

Pursues an Anne Boleyn (Lyanna) figure to get a third head like Henry wanted an heir.

Anne Boleyn didn’t want his advances just like Lyanna who probably didn’t want Rhaegar’s advances either

Rhaegar plunged the entire kingdom into a civil war because he needed the third head. Very much like Henry VIII who flipped the bird at the Catholic Church which caused an uproar, all because he wanted a son.

A pedophile (ex. Lyanna and Catherine Howard)

Lyanna wouldn’t be better off with either of them. That’s the tragic part about her story. Her life would be miserable no matter what choice she made.

In this house we despise both Rhaegar and Robert, anon. You would know that if you actually bothered to go through my blog. Most likely this is a copy, paste type of anon hate. Pathetic. Next time be smarter on who you send your garbage to.

A 0/10.