#I find it so incredibly awkward coming out to every new person gay or straight as bisexual because I am so afraid that they are going to be | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calliopesburn · 1 year

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So you mentioned queer film and docs in some of your tags, may I ask if you have any specific recommendations?

thank u for asking i have SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!

i haven't actually checked but im 99% sure all of these films were definitely directed and likely also written by queer people; for context this top list is all new so look for film festivals that might be screening or streaming these virtually / below i added some older films that are more easy to find

New from the past year or two:

the one i mentioned in the post is one i definitely recommend - it's called Nelly & Nadine (doc) - two women fall in love in a concentration camp, survive, and live happily together - the documentary gets made when a queer grandkid finds old stuff and is like hrmmmm

Rule 34 - one of my favorite films ever honestly - a black sex worker (in brazil) gets into criminal law school (paid for by her sex work) and witnesses her own life and identity being constantly debated in the classroom while continuing her sex work and beginning to explore BDSM at night - she becomes increasingly erratic throughout the film in a way that culminates beautifully (talk about a chaos queer) an incredibly commentary on women's agency

Before I Change My Mind - i think it takes place in the 60s - a non-binary pre-teen kid moves from america to a small canadian town and struggles to make friends for .02 seconds before they set their sights on their crush and become a member of their toxic friend group - puts a whole new spin on 'coming of age'

Compulsus - a woman starts hunting down men who sexually assault women (from the descrip it says it never shows the actual assault that leads her to start striking back, only her committing violence)

Tahara - first of all the stop motion kiss scene still has me reeling. two jewish bffs attend a funeral and things get real awkward when they kiss 'for fun'

Framing Agnes (doc) - gender case studies from a 50's UCLA clinic are re-enacted by icons like Angelica Ross - incredible history

Wildhood - a two-spirit teen falls for another indigenous boy while he journeys with his brother to find their mom

Anything's Possible - Billy Porter's directorial debut - a muslim boy falls for a trans girl and takes his shot even though he knows people will freak out (and they do) but it's really affirming and supportive and lovely and funny <3

Esther Newton Made Me Gay (doc) - ok wanna talk about queer history?? Esther Newton was the first person to ever write about drag culture from an anthropological perspective PERIOD. i think if i remember correctly she was fired from parsons, and was on very thin ice for a long time with her career - but even still she wrote and paved the way for queer academia - writing about fire island, cherry grove, the drag scene, and more!!!!! she also identifies as a butch lesbian/between genders and this film is so incredible for the lesbians - you really need to hear her talk about gender, about butchness and femmeness - ALSO you get to see her childhood growing up in the early 1900's as a queer person and it's incredible, you'll cry but like in a GOOD cathartic way

Sleep With Me (series) - a soapy sapphic thai romance between two disabled women - one in a wheelchair and another with a rare sleep disorder. this will literally give you every cute soapy sapphic moment you could ask for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl Picture - lesbians watch this one!!!!!!!! this is a ROMANCE!!!!!! there were scenes where i was like omg!!!!!!! when you never realize how desperately ur craving a certain style - just watch the trailer please ; also asexuals u should watch this one too :) (just to be clear though the asexual character is straight, not the sapphic romance)

Mama Bears (doc) - this doc will also make u cry but in a really fucking good way. this is a doc on christian parents who used to be conservative and homophobic before changing perspectives after their kids come out. most notable is Kai (though she also chooses the name Esther for herself <3, based on her favorite person in the Bible), a trans girl who talks about coming out to her mom as a girl as young as 3 years old, and in spite of the abuse she was put through, she kept saying it and her mom eventually realized she could either lose her "son" forever, or accept and love her daughter. im tearing up writing this - her mom gave up her entire family to literally save her daughters life - and she did.

Nana's Boys - two black men are about to get engaged when the city goes on lockdown and their relationship is put to the test - truths come out and the gorgeous twists and turns of their relationship really shows the gentleness and supportiveness of queer relationships (it's called nana's boys because they were both raised by their grandmas <3)

Unidentified Objects - a lovely film about two neighbors who take an unexpected road trip - their lives of course changing forever as a result. one of the characters is a gay little person who's mourning the death of a close friend and the other is a sex worker who is looking for the aliens who took her when she was a kid (yes that's literally the plot) it's wonderfully well written and has one of those endings that'll send you reeling

New - haven't seen but on my list:

The First Fallen - a narrative story that follows a group a friends as the first wave of the AIDS epidemic approaches in Peru <3

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (doc) - you'll likely hear about this as its Laura Poitras' new film, it's about Nan Goldin

Stupid for You - a sapphic girl musical????????????????????

Way Down - an episodic on a bunch of friends trying to be musicians - the lead is non-binary in a romance with various ladies and i think everyone else in the band is queer too

The Blue Caftan - a tailor in morocco lives happily closeted with his wife until they hire a sexy assistant

The Inspection - a gay man enters the military and finds unexpected support and family

El Houb - can only remember that it's a muslim guy who comes out to his dad but is a dark comedy (he literally runs into the closet at a point in the film)

My Emptiness and I - a newly out transfemme woman navigates life and dating and surgery

Moneyboys - two gay men in i think taiwan?

so in general i highly recommend paying attention to queer film festivals - newfest, frameline, and outfest are the major US ones (they only stream in the US but im pretty sure you can use a vpn) inside out is a canadian one; most of them stream now!!!! like 80% of their films are available to stream for a short duration so sign up for their email lists and mark their festivals on your calendars because if you pay attention to these you'll start to see actual queer stories written and directed by queer people!!!!!!!!

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one called Dress Up that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

For things currently streaming or easy to find and download:

Fantasy of the Girls (2017/2018 depending where you look) thrilled to list this one as it's actually the film that made me realize im a lesbian :) full film is also on YT

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love dir Maria Maggenti (1995)

Saving Face (2000) and The Half of It - dir Alice Wu

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (late 90s i think)

Fire (1996)

Desert Hearts (1985)

The Velvet Vampire - feels like jennifer's body but in 1971 with a vampire who wants to have sex/kill both ppl in a married couple (dir. by a woman; haven't seen this yet though)

Chutney Popcorn (1999)

Paris is Burning (1990)

Brother to Brother (2004) (anthony mackie)

Pariah

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (a sad one but chloe moretz dated the girl from the film and the director is queer - incredible film)

Lingua Franca

Fire Island

Naz & Maalik

The Obituary of Tunde Johnson

Firstness

Firebird

See You Then

Ammonite

No Hard Feelings

Shiva Baby

Flee

Passing

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

#hope this helps!!!!!!#watch queer film!!!!!!!!#queer film #long post

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bnha-more-like-bnh-gay · 3 years

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Rarepair headcanons because I am ignoring my problems

Serodeku:

Izuku reenacts the Spider-Man movies with Sero. Izuku is MJ. They also alternate being Spider-Man sometimes

They skate together

They get very protective when people call their boyfriend “plain”

They play dnd together

Sero tries to make sure that izuku gets some rest

They’re both kinda insecure, izuku more than sero, but still; and they make sure to reassure each other as often as possible

Sero likes listening to Izuku’s ramblings and finds them cute. He has told izuku this, only for the poor boy to imitate a tomato

After Izuku has been particularly reckless, Sero takes advantage of his quirk, wraps Izuku in bubble wrap, and tapes it there

Tokodeku:

Jocknerd bf and goth bf, we love to see it

Tokoyami teaches izuku how to sword fight

They start a dnd club at U.A.

Izuku talks to dark shadow a lot, Dark Shadow approves of him, and has claimed the spot of best man at their wedding

Izuku comes up with ideas to help Tokoyami gain control with Dark Shadow

Dark Shadow is very protective over Izuku, no matter how many times Tokoyami tells him that he can take care of himself, Dark Shadow will put himself between Izuku and any form of danger as often as possible

Dekoyama??? Aoyama/izuku:

Aoyama gives him makeovers, obviously

Aoyama drags izuku to the mall and tries to revamp some of his wardrobe, but he actually finds the “pants” and “flannel” type shirts cute

They help each other train their quirks

Aoyama is trilingual, and teaching izuku English and French.

Izuku always brings Aoyama home some new cheese

Y’all, I love them so much. There needs to be more aodeku content

Monoshinsou:

They have people watching dates. They come up with stories for the people they’re watching; their job, family, background, etc.

They judge people together

They call each other “love”

They’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience

They jokingly sh*t-talk class A

Shinsou said “I love you” first, and it was because Monoma brought him coffee to class

Monoyama:

Like monoshinsou, they’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience

They go shopping together and pick out the most dramatic pieces of clothing for each other

I love them so much, please 😭✋

They have tea parties every week, where they sh*t talk everyone else and gossip

They are both fancy bastards, and they wear the most exquisite outfits to go grocery shopping, and the outshine everyone

They both actually make clothing, they’ll go fabric shopping together. Gift exchanges are often articles of clothing that they’ve made for each other

Momomei:

They work on gear together!!!

Momo makes sure that mei gets some sleep

Mei helps redesign momo’s suit

They often work together with izuku to work in gear and such

They actually got together after izuku introduced them. He had been working on gear with mei, and studying with momo and he thought they’d hit it off. He was correct

Shintsuyu:

Dude they’d be so cute

Tsu is a vent gremlin, and you can’t change my mind. So she and shinsou will play a game where they try to find each other. Tsu is in the vent and shinsou is in the classrooms. Shinsou will try to find whichever vent she’s in, or she’ll find whichever classroom he’s in, in 20 minutes or less

I always headcanoned tsu as a dog person, so they’d have two cats and two dogs, and a bunny that they named Deku

They like comparing their friends to animals, hence the bunny, Deku

Kamideku:

Kaminari is a flirt, and izuku does n o t know how to handle it

Kaminari likes listening to izuku’s ramblings, and can keep up with them. He’ll ask questions on things too, and Izuku has never felt more appreciated

I don’t know why I feel like they’d have so many animals, but I do. They’d have so many, man. Three cats, two dogs, four sugar gliders, a hamster

Adhd power couple. They hyperfixated on complimentary things at the same time one time

Kaminari tutors izuku in English, and izuku turots kami in some other subjects. He’s also teaching kami JSL on the side. Kaminari has a live of languages

Momochako:

Study dates, Momo asks ochako to quiz her a lot

Ochako takes to floating momo’s things when she wants attention. Especially when Momo is studying. She makes a game out of how many things she can float until the other girl notices

Uraraka’s confidence does wonders for momo’s. Uraraka always makes sure to reassure momo that she is strong and that she can do this

Momo makes Uraraka whatever her heart desires. Uraraka blushes all the time, and momo takes great pride in getting her girlfriend to blush

Minatoru:

Mina clings to everyone, but especially to toru

They give each other stuffed animals so often. They’ll go to the store to get food, and come back with three stuffed animals that reminded them of each other

Please, they’re so cute 😭✋

They will play hide and seek, I stand by this.

Mina helps toru design a new costume. I hate hers, it’s horrible, and sexist, and not suitable for a fucking child

Toru says that pink is her favorite color

They flirt with each other all the time. Half the class thinks it’s cute, half of them used to think it was cute.

Iidamomo:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but study dates. they quiz each other, and it actually gets pretty competitive

They also have rage room dates. I will not budge on this. Iida tried to murder someone, and I am excited to see momo finally snap. She deserves it

They alternate paying for dates, don’t try me.

The go hiking a lot

They started liking each other after one late night, both having nightmares. Momo had tea, and offered some to Iida. They talked until the early hours of the morning

They can’t flirt. They try. But they’re horrible at it. They’ll compliment each other all day long, but they cannot flirt.

KIRIDEKU, MY BELOVED:

Y’all,,, y’all, I love them so much

They train together, obviously

They ran into each other one night in the common room after both having nightmares. They talked about middle school, how they were both bullied, izuku’s quirk coming in late, katsuki being abusive, kiri being bullied because his quirk wasn’t “cool.” After that, they were practically inseparable.

They started going on dates, not that either of them knew they were dates. The entire class knew, so did the teachers, so did the rest of U.A. Kirishima picked up on it first after a comment from Mina, he had is realization.

So, he started courting Izuku. Not thag izuku realized this. He brought him flowers on most ‘dates,’ he bought him hero action figures whenever he could, he complimented him until Izuku was red in the face (which was honestly very easy.) Still, izuku remained ignorant to the fact that he was indeed dating Kirishima.

The final tipping point, was due to Uraraka’s help. She was quite tired of watching the two of them pine for each other. It was amusing for the first couple months, watching Kirishima try so hard, and Deku being totally oblivious. However, she took pity on her friends after a while.

So, Uraraka devised a devilish plan to get the two together. She involved Mina, Sero, and kaminari in this plan. What was the plan, you ask? Oh, simply to trap the two in one room until they broke through izuku’s obliviousness.

Kirishima finally “straight” up admitted his feelings, to which Izuku had the sudden realization of “oh my gods, have we been dating this whole time??” Yes, Izuku. Yes you have.

They have two anniversaries after that.

Let’s be honest, they are really, annoyingly, horrifically lovey dovey. Kirishima brags about having “the manliest and bestest boyfriend in the world.” Izuku flaunts his many PowerPoint presentations on how talented and incredible Kirishima is

Uraraka doesn’t know if she did the right thing by helping them. She is so tired

Tsujirou:

Jirou makes playlists for tsu

The few sane ones in class A, I swear

They go on walks in the rain as often as they can

They go for dates in the bookstore too. They each pick out an album and a book for the other to listen to and read

Y’all, they make so much sense togetherrrrr, I’m love them 🥺

Jirou started liking tsu after the crew saved bakugou. Jirou sat with tsu after momo, Iida, kirishima, Todoroki, and izuku apologized and sat with her. They had movie night, and Jirou joined the Bakugou saving crew and tsu with taking well into the night. She just appreciated how much tsu cared

Tsu started liking Jirou after she helped Iida, momo, and izuku try to keep the class in order. She appreciated how diplomatic and calm she was

Jirou would talk to izuku all night long about how gay she was, and how adorable tsu was. So, izuku decided to try and suggest ways for Jirou to ask her out.

She did not end up getting to ask her out though, as Tsu walked up to her the next morning f and asked if she wanted to go on a date. Jirou said yes. Izuku cried

Izujirou:

They make playlists for each other

They go for runs on the beach a lot

They both have insomnia, and often spend time making blanket forts and talking, or FaceTiming and listening to music

Jirou walks into the common room once a week looking for new music. She started liking Izuku after he made a playlist for her for one of these occasions.

They’re both quite awkward when it comes to romance, but neither of them will shy away from facing the truth. So, Jirou made izuku a playlist filled with love songs that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.

So, then Jirou wrote a love song and told izuku that the song was for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.

So, then Jirou write analysis about izuku’s quirk for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell

So, then, after thinking that Jirou had done so much for him, izuku made her a playlist filled with love songs. Jirou took this to mean that izuku had finally picked up on her feelings, and accepted them.

So, they started to go on dates. Not that izuku knew this, as he is dense as hell. All leading up to izuku finally confessing his feelings on one of their ‘dates,’ to which Jirou responded, “dude, we’re already dating? Aren’t we? I- I thought that was obvious??”

May this awkward couple be forever blessed

Tokoyama:

Goth/prep boyfriends, we love to see it

At least once a day, Aoyama will proclaim that Tokoyami “shines almost as bright as he does, in his fabulous emo way”

They sword fight, and come up with really dramatic scenarios and scenes that they’re in

They bond over being in the izucrew and their shared love of swords. Aoyama took fencing classes in middle school, and Tokoyami got into sword fighting after watching it in pirates of the Caribbean as a young child. He is self taught and watched countless videos on the art of sword fighting

Tokoyami asked Aoyama our by dramatically presenting him with a dagger and going “will you accompany me on a formal outing as my lover?”

Shinyama:

They flirt constantly

No really, it’s getting quite annoying. Someone please stop them.

They both plop down in random areas and proclaim their deaths, the difference between them, is that Aoyama will burst into shinsou’s room, and yell “love, I’ve been murdered. Mourn for me” while plopping down on shinsou’s lap. Shinsou can be found laying face down outside aoyama’s door, and when Aoyama goes to open the door, he just goes “I’ve been murdered.”

^^ one time, shinsou did a very fun Halloween prank for this, where he poured fake blood all over himself for Aoyama to find him an hour later, asleep.

Nap dates. Aoyama get glitter all over shinsou’s room

Iiyama:

Aoyama enjoys making Iida blush, obviously. But he takes joy in doing it specifically when class is about to start. Aizawa is tired of his shit

Here is how I think an iiyama conversation might go:

Aoyama: I ask for one thing in this relationship-

Iida: Aoyama, you know that’s a lie-

Aoyama: for my boyfriend to carry me around all day-

Iida: Aoyama, I cannot feasibly do this with class-

Aoyama: and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for 😤

Anyway, Aoyama got carried around all day that day, despite Iida’s blush and Aizawa’s eye twitch

Everyone in the izucrew is close, but Iida and Aoyama started to get close after Iida told the crew about Stain. Aoyama wanted Iida to know that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to help him. So he started packing extra cheese for lunch and giving it to Iida. Iida was very confused at first. But this was Aoyama trying to court him. This was only made apparent by momo and Jirou telling Iida that this was aoyama’s attempt at expressing romantic interest.

Aoyama flirts with everyone, that’s just who he is. But with Iida? Oh it was tenfold. The poor boy was red in the face constantly. Aoyama was a persistent little bugger too, following him around and calling him ‘mon amour’

Kirikamideku:

My dearest traffic light trio, I’m love them

They train together, and kiri and kami always appreciate izuku’s analysis snd ideas

Kiri falls even more in love with izuku and kaminari when they go off on rants. Izuku rants and kami can keep up with him so he asks questions about it. Kiri loves to watch his boyfriends go on rants, I don’t make the rules, but I do enforce them

They started to get closer after kami and kiri found bakugou causing a ptsd flashback (could be on purpose of an accident, up to the reader.) they stated with him and tried to talk him through it. After this, izuku started to tell them about having been a “late bloomer” and being bullied, etc. (I don’t know, man; I tend to over share after flashbacks and after panic attacks)

Izuku tutors them in several subjects, but kami tutors them in English. Kiri just falls in love with his smart boyfriends

Izuku is teaching kami JSL and kami is helping izuku with English and Italian (personal headcanon that Italian has been one of kami’s special interests) kiri loves to listen to them, and finds it relaxing and calming to hear them do this. When he has panic attacks, he’ll ask them to tutor each other in different languages

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 13

first time readers click here 💖

TWs/Summary: In this house, we ship Reader/Tony's Rolls-Royce. Reader and Tony being dorks on a date. That's it that's the chapter. Lots of sass and Tony being Tony.

A question for my readers: Are you still invested? How's the slow burn? Is everything realistic? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

As usual, my beta is @miscmarvelwritings . I love her.

"Nice digs, Cupcake."

"Nice ride, Tin Man."

The sass fell from my lips, warm and familiar, paving the way for our upcoming debut like the old, soft living room rug. Any awkwardness I had expected there to be left the moment I saw Tony pull up to my front gate in his Royce: the man was just that extra. The size of my estate, the five-figure outfit of mine - it paled in comparison to his own clout.

In a world where my choices were usually distributed between stuck-up rich boys or insecure middle-class men, Tony was a fresh drink of water with his absolute indifference towards my and his own net worth.

I wasn't afraid to admire said ride, either. Being a huge petrolhead was what got me interested in engineering, physics and computer sciences in the first place. The desire for speed grew into thirst for knowledge: how to get more horsepower, how to tune, how to mod. No mechanic took an eighteen year old rich-girl seriously even when I had all the lingo right, I had to be a step ahead, at all times, if I wanted my ride to be the best. And I never settled for less than that.

"No driver?" I inquired for the reason behind the unusual behaviour. After all, a Rolls' wasn't the kind of car you drive personally. All the amenities it had, it had in the back.

"Gave Happy a day off," Tony remarked absently. I noticed the small quirk of his eyebrow, however. He was intrigued.

I decided to give it a shot. "So what, this thing packs, what, about five-fifty horses?" I mused, watching Tony nearly swerve into the opposite lane. "At two and a half tons, it's still gotta be pretty quick with that V12-turbo. How fast it go?" The satisfaction was immeasurable, as pleasant to my soul as sitting in a heated leather chair with the smell of a new car, engine quietly rumbling in front of me. And by quietly I mean, it was focus-or-you'll-miss-it kind of quiet.

"Well aren't you full of surprises, baby girl," Tony grinned; a happy, excited grin even. It made his face lose ten years of age just like that. "Zero to sixty in five and a half seconds," He said after a moment.

"Not bad," I said, sounding impressed. I already knew that but I wasn't planning on robbing Tony out of well deserved praise for his choice in vehicles.

"Got a ride of your own?" He asked with a smile, like he didn't know it already. No background check would have skipped my three speeding tickets, but I concur. This game was fun.

"I do, actually. It's a 2008 Range Rover. Supercharged," I added in the end, just to emphasise.

"A big car for such a little girl," Tony whistled playfully.

"I'm compensating," I deadpanned. "I'm a little slow on the uptake, y'know, so my Rangie with five hundred horses makes up for it. Gotta keep it balanced."

Tony chewed on his lip. "Five hundred? Haven't heard about that, it comes with three-ninety-five in stock," His eyebrow wiggled. "Tuned it?" He cast me a contemplative glance.

"Yup," I exclaimed happily. As far as the date, I would have been utterly ecstatic to talk about cars all evening. Screw the boring "where do you see yourself in five years" questions, talk to me about your favourite engine swaps. Concept cars, give me those. Monster trucks? Yes, please. Vintage low-riders? Couldn't wait to get my grubby little hands on one. Gimmee!

Tony kept his silence and kept his press smile starting the moment we set foot on getting out of the car. The place he'd taken me to was ridiculously upscale and fancy; the valet hesitated only for a second before catching the keys Tony so carelessly tossed in his direction. There was almost no fear in his body language when the boy approached the massive, expensive vehicle.

The hostess smiled big at Tony and gave me the world's biggest stink-eye when he looked the other way but what else is new? As soon as she left us in the privacy of our booth, I didn't hesitate to stick my tongue at her retreating back. A brief lapse in maturity, if you will.

Tony cackled, growing suddenly serious. "Did she bother you? I can get her fired. I should get her fired."

"Nah," I shrugged. "Don't really care, just wanted to showcase my amazing sense of humour." Snorting, I gave Tony a wink and a secretive grin.

"You really don't give a fuck, do you," His eyebrows twitched again, a sign of mild interest that I noted during our routine sciencing time together. Tony was incredibly expressive if one took the time to observe.

"I could suck your dick under the table right now," I answered honestly. "It's just that when God gave out things like dignity and shame, I wasn't home. Too many fun things to do, y'know," I spoke as casually as I could even though I was dying of laughter inside.

Eyes bulging, jaw hanging mid-way to the floor. Tony was serving Looks™ and I didn't mean just the white tee and purple blazer combo. "Princess, you're going to be the fucking death of me!" He took a sip from his water glass, smirking.

Finally releasing my mirth, I gathered my hands in a lock in front of me. His own, warm and calloused, reached over - I allowed the brief intimacy, clasping them, fiddling with the leather band of his watch. For a moment, it was just us, sitting in the dim light, discovering each other anew to Robert Johnson singing the blues and NYC bustling with life just behind the wall.

The waiter took our orders - and if I totally butchered the Italian, Tony was gentleman enough not to make any remarks.

"Somehow, every time I am with you, you both manage to meet my expectations to a T and surprise me at the same time," I wasn't able to completely ignore my nerves. My hand was still loosely in his and he didn't mind at all, me messing with his watch.

"How so?"

"I'm going to loosely quote someone, bear with me." Mr Davies's words popped into my mind just as I was wondering how to best articulate my feelings. "You're eccentric and interesting because it's, well, it's you, because it would be much weirder if we'd be sitting here and making boring small-talk and asking each other the genetic get-to-know-you questions," I briefly paused to sip my Dom Peringon and stare at our hands. Gathering my wits. "That would be why I don't do dates. It sounds so tedious on paper, just sorting through people until a person that's not absolutely mind-numbing comes around."

Tony was silent for a moment, the sheen of his eyes, the faraway look; he was lost in memories. Probably remembering all the girls he had charmed before. I didn't doubt it was easy for him: his smile was distracting and people usually were attracted to shiny things. He shone plenty. Also, most people were stupid, they never cared to look past the golden wrapper. I was convinced there was a diamond under it. But then again, I was biased.

"I've never thought about it that way, but I guess you're right," He finally said, serious. "With Pepper, at least, it was. Come to think of it, we never had that much in common, besides Stark Industries and her willingness to put up with my shit." It was painful for him to talk about her, that much was obvious. His laugh was forced and sardonic.

I, on the other hand, never understood why they got together in the first place. Or maybe I did - but the cold, composed Pepper and the chaotic, energetic Tony reminded me too much of my own parents. All four people in this fucked up equation could have been much happier if they choose... What? Being alone? That was terrifying, too.

I kept quiet, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"You know, this is so bizarre. Even an eighteen year old kid has got it figured out," He suddenly said, his tone bitter like the coffee that he loved.

"Woah, slow down," I put up a hand. "I never said I know what to do. I just said I know what NOT to do." The 'kid' remark would have made me eye-roll so hard my skull would crack any day. In this context, however, it was pretty spot on.

Tony snorted. "And how did you come by that information, pray tell, Baby?"

I huffed. "Have you met my parents?" We simultaneously cringed and I hurried to erase that mental image. "I make fun of myself for being into old dudes all the time," I made air quotes around the phrase that made Tony scoff, "But, honestly speaking, I've never even been on a date. Like a real one. Usually it's twenty minutes and I'm falling asleep mid-conversation. People can't seem to keep up with me or something," I felt genuinely dejected. "So many meaningless questions, so many downright idiotic comments. From men," I pointed out the obvious. "My mother used to tell me she thought I was gay because I didn't act like a girl... Whatever that means."

"That sounds pretty shitty," Tony was studying me like one would have been looking at an exotic animal in a zoo. "That said, I agree."

"That I don't act like a girl?" I teased him, the left corner of my mouth tilting upward. "Fuck that noise. I want to drive fast cars, drink straight liquor and have orgasms. If that makes me a dude... I look pretty good for a dude in a dress."

We laughed in unison, tension evaporating under the shared, mutual understanding. With Tony, it was easy. The waiter brought our selected dishes. Blink-and-he's-gone. Top notch service.

"A dude in a dress, can't say I'm surprised 'bout your lack of dates," He remarked conversationally, happily digging into his food. The noises he made were intriguing, to say the least, and I followed suit on my own food, finding it absolutely delicious. A delicious meal with a delicious man at my side. I refused to feel guilty about my thoughts.

"I guess I have exactly one (1) date on my ledger now," I raised my argument.

The fork clattered as Tony once again, came to a sudden realization. "Holy shit, you weren't kidding."

"No shit," I gave into the urge to roll my eyes. "But on the upside, my first date was with the most gorgeous, intelligent and witty bachelor of the city. I'd say I don't have it all that bad," I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Aw, you're making me blush," Tony recovered quickly, grinning. "And don't be shy. The most desired bachelor of the country, if not the world."

I shook my head. "No, the world's most delectable bachelor is one of the Saudi princes. What's-his-name, the one who posts goat and horse pics on Insta," I snapped my fingers a couple of times, trying to remember the name as Tony looked at me all offended. "Anyways, you get my point. I could have a go at him, don't you think?" Cocking my shoulder, coyly twirling the strap of my dress, I gave Tony my best come-hither look and was rewarded with an appreciative once-over. His eyes were growing hungry again.

"You're a million dollar baby," He finally said, voice low. "And the extent of people I would be willing to share you with is very small."

That got me interested, sudden heat prickling underneath my skin. The conversation took a turn I didn't expect it to; and there lied the delight of being around Tony. He was always ready to surprise, in the best way. "Tell me," I requested politely.

"That's a conversation for another time," He was enjoying the chit-chat, desire beginning to creep into his features.

"Mmm, you think?" I allowed the strap of my dress to slip down my shoulder, exposing a collarbone, showing him just how far I was willing to go to satisfy my curiosity.

He swallowed audibly. "I think... You're smart enough to figure it out," He finally gritted his teeth, finishing off his dinner and immediately calling for the check.

I wasn't done yet, however. The possibility of riling him up, taunting him into a lustful frenzy - I was in heaven. Karma had favoured me that evening, it had given me a chance to get Tony back for all the times he unknowingly made my mouth water and my brain go blip. "Must be Steve then," I bit my lip in thought.

Honestly? I was as clueless as the couple next table over. Steve it wasn't, that much I knew for sure, he and Tony had their little love/hate dramatic connection that always ended in a massive ego standoff. Tony would be on the frontline fighting against Steve if the blonde dared to show anything even remotely resembling romantic interest towards someone Tony himself had his eyes on.

"Princess," Tony growled, sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

"Not Steve," I replied, cracking a smile. Success! "You know, I'm really bad at guessing who's into me. Unless someone is balls deep in me," My face was mere inches away as we quickly shrugged on our coats. "And even then, I can't be sure."

My giggling was accompanied by Tony shaking his head in exasperated fashion; he took my hand nonetheless and I happily swayed it between us, poster child for "not a care in the world". He allowed it, maintaining the same exasperated air about him, and I let him. Fondness and happiness seeped through that anyways.

"Brat," His voice was kind. And his kiss tingled where he left it on the corner of my mouth, sweet and short. "Here, have a go," Before I could react, the keys to his Rolls Royce were placed in my palm and he was making his way around the car to the passenger's side.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)! @softie-socks @schemefrenzy

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btssmutficslovingfan01 · 3 years

Text

Friendly Encounters- Chapter One

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: A friend challenges you to go out of your comfort zone and talk to one of the cute boys at the café. However, after attempting to flirt with one of them, they reveal that they are in a relationship with each other. It’s fine, though, because you’re all friends now!

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: Romance

𝑅𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔: Fluff

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Domestic Yoonmin, fluff, Jimin is literally too good for this world, barista boys, swearing, mild language, lots of character development, realistic insecurities, Jungkook makes a bad decision.

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 6k+

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔(𝓈): Jimin x Yoongi x Reader

Masterlist

Author Note: This story is available on my archiveofourown as well so go check it out!

⇤Prev | Next⇥

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“Do it.” Your friend pushes you towards the incredibly adorable busboy as he passes by your table.

“No, it’s stupid.”

“Y/N, I dared you. Now you have to do it.” You roll your eyes.

“That’s not even how dares work.” You lay back in your chair, eyes drifting over to the two handsome men who now stand talking at the cash register.

“Okay, fine, if you can’t have a conversation, at least get his number! I’ll go for that cute barista over there with the sleepy eyes.” How can eyes be sleepy? You shrug as she confidently strides to the counter to order another drink. Jasmine has always been the type of girl to tell people what she’s feeling in the heat of the moment. You had no idea where she got her confidence from, it just happened one fine summer day in sixth grade.

You’ve been best friends ever since you moved into the house across the street, along with Jaehyun and Jungkook. They are the non-identical twins that go to your school and the four of you were a group all through middle school. Things changed after highschool, Jae started hanging out with the wrong crowd and he moved out after saving up some drug money.

Jungkook, on the other hand, is still a sweetheart, protecting you and Jasmine as if you were his sisters. Sometimes you wonder how you even became friends with this meth-head of a girl, but then you realize you’re the same, you both are crackheads and that’s why you’re best friends. You sometimes doubt your friendship when she tries to push you out of your comfort zone. You hate opening up to people, and Jasmine knows it.

Yet, she still tries pushing you towards trying new things and being more extroverted. Your mind is already buzzing with a million different ways this can go wrong, but you’re surprised when the waiter approaches you with a smile on his face. I wonder if he’s truly happy or putting on a fake smile for the customers. You think to yourself. Sometimes you like to look at people and try putting together a life story for them. It helps your creative juices flow, as an amateur writer.

“Can I get you anything else?” He asks with a refreshingly soft voice for a man. You’re a bit taken aback by his melodic tone, and how freaking adorable he sounds with his Korean accent. You can’t tell what dialect it is, because his English flows very well.

“Actually…” You look over at Jasmine, who gives you a thumbs up as she sips her Pink Drink. “Can I have your number?” The man’s eyes widen momentarily and his gaze flickers up to the barista at the counter.

“Oh...Miss I’m very flattered but...see that man over there?” You turn around and face the barista who is busy on his phone at the moment.

“The sleepy-eyed one?” You ask, knowing full well where this is going.

“Yeah, him. Um, that’s my boyfriend.” Your smile falters for a moment but you feel a sudden sense of relief. You were afraid he would actually flirt back and possibly be a douchebag but he is exactly what you hoped he would be. A decent person who won’t cheat on his partner.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Your reaction makes him raise his eyebrows. Normally girls would sigh or be sad that he’s taken/gay, but you’re the first one who’s ever reacted like that. “I mean, sorry. My friend just forced me to ask for your number because she wants me to make friends and step out of my comfort zone, and now I’m...sorry just nevermind.” You trail off, cutting off your pointless rambling as the busboy wipes your table slightly.

“Hm, you’re interesting. You know what, just for that attempt, I am going to give you my number.” He winks at you, sliding you a piece of paper. Did he always have that paper with him? You laugh as he walks away and Jasmine bolts back to your table, excited to hear the juicy details.

“You did it!” She screeches, making half of the people whip their heads around to stare at you. You blush and sink in your seat when you see the adorable busboy speaking to his boyfriend. Just when you’re about to tell Jasmine what happened, you see the sleepy-eyed man look at you with a glare. You bite your teeth and suck in your cheeks as Jasmine starts talking about her encounter.

“Too bad, though. The sleepy dude just waved me away saying he already has a boyfriend.” She folds her arms. You stretch your legs, yawning a bit as you listen to your friend. “What? Am I boring you? Anyways, tell me what happened with the cute blue haired dude!” You giggle to yourself as your friend expected something more out of the interaction.

“Jasmine, he’s gay. And they’re-” You gesture to the two men talking behind the counter. “Together.” Jasmine sighs. You simply shake your head, flipping your hair to one side.

“Well, I guess my luck with men hasn’t changed. But at least they’re cute.” You giggle as your best friend sighs dramatically and then you move onto discussing other topics, like school.

Just as you’re about to exit the café, you realize that you didn’t ask the cute busboy for his name. During the whole five minutes that you talked to him, you didn’t even introduce yourself?! Great job, Y/N. You turn around, reaching for the piece of paper in your pocket to find that he indeed did write his name down for you. Jimin. What a beautiful name for a beautiful boy.

As you climb into the jeep that Jasmine’s parents bought for her 16th birthday, her phone rings, and she turns to you, puffing out her chest. You wiggle your eyebrows at her and then you both laugh after the awkward moment.

“It’s Jungkook.” She throws her phone at you, switching back to her “serious” persona.

“Whoa, what happened between you two for you to act this way?” You give Jasmine the stink eye as she caves under your pressure. She’s acting weird—weirder than usual.

“Nothing, just...ugh.” She clicks her seatbelt in and starts backing out of the parking lot.

“Jasmine, if you don’t tell me I’m gonna jump out the window. And we both know I’m not bluffing because I’m actually really short and this window is huge.” Her eyes widen in panic and her hands start shaking on the steering wheel.

“You see…..um ....Jungkook and I may or may not have gone all the way after a deep conversation about relationships.” I gawk at her, unable to process her words.

Sure JK is a flirt, but he never would’ve moved past touching, seeing how he’s practically scared of girls. There was even a point in your middle school lives where Jasmine believed he was gay and started calling him her “gbf.” Yeah, that wasn’t greatly received by your homophobic class of 2020.

“Bitch, you did not.” You slap the dashboard, shaking your head in disbelief. You can see guilt written all over her face but what’s worse is the fact that you had a crush on him for the longest time and she had no clue about it.

It’s not her fault, but sex can change a lot of things for different people. And you know despite whatever bullshit Jasmine tells you about it being a ‘one-time thing no feelings involved’ type deal, you know things are going to change between you, Jasmine, and Jungkook.

You don’t know how anyone will react, since you’ve never been in this situation before. You just know that your best friend, without even knowing it, broke your heart in two. Including Jungkook’s, who is probably crying by himself at the moment.

Your silence is enough to shut her up, as she stops talking mid-sentence and plays an EXO song on her phone, hooked up to the lavish quality stereo system which is connected to her fancy Jeep Wrangler, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine but you assume that’s from your gut, twisting in disgust planning for revenge with Jasmine. She has no regard for feelings when it comes to sex, and you’re more worried about your other best friend at the moment.

“Drop me off at JK’s place.” Your command makes her flinch, and then her eyes widen when she digests what you said.

“You aren’t going to tell him that I told you, are you?”

“Of course I’m gonna talk to him about it! While you’re over here thinking about how to end your friendship, that boy is probably breaking down in tears right now, or worse, binge eating and watching soapy K-dramas all alone!”

You slam her car door shut, stepping out with your red converse basking in the sunlight. It’s so bright out today, a little bit chilly but otherwise nice. Too bad Jungkook’s having a rainy day. You knock on his door, and his brother opens the door.

“Hey baby. Wanna join me and my buddie-”

“Yeah, nice to see you too Jaehyun, is Jungkook home?” You ask, pushing past him and his stoner pals on the couch.

“He’s upstairs.” There’s not much that needs to be said when you walk into his room.

As expected, he’s lying in his bed, blankets wrapped around his entire body, forming a cocoon of some sort as he distracts himself from the real world, again. It’s like every breakup ever, as you have seen him do all sorts of crazy shit while being heartbroken. He’s dated so many people, but none of them were his close friends. This time, it’s different, and you can tell he’s hurting more.

“Did you see Jasmine?” Is the first thing he asks when he sees you.

“I was with her earlier and she told me some stuff happened between you guys. And now I’m here for you. Tell me what you need.” Jungkook slowly rises, and you can see his hair standing straight up from the static, and his normally bright eyes are colored red from crying, his cheeks are red and puffy, and he looks exhausted. Drained, in fact.

“I made a mistake. I started kissing her first, it was like the time after my breakup with Madi-” He cuts himself off. You shiver, beginning to remember his touch. You hadn’t slept with him, not in a sexual context, anyway. He only kissed you, and his hands slid down the small of your back, tracing circles with his thumbs. You can feel the strange sensation creeping up on you, and then it hits you like a wave.

Jungkook is no longer the little boy that you once knew. He’s a grown man, and he can take care of you if you let him. But, you’re not that type of person. You would never take advantage of him, especially when he’s so vulnerable. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let it get in the way of our friendship, but after that night I knew we could never be just friends.” You take his clammy hands in your soft ones, kissing his fingers gently as tears threaten to spill from his eyes again.

“It’s okay, let it out.” You spend a good chunk of your time cuddling with him, and for a moment you imagine what life would be like if you actually started dating, but alas, he is too in love with your best friend. That’s how life is for you, you’ll always be a side character in a love story, and when it comes to love, guys always pick Jasmine. Guys talk to you because they see that you are friends with Jasmine. Girls invite you to sleepovers to ask you what you know about Jasmine, and worst of all, she stole multiple crushes from under your nose. But they were never truly yours to begin with.

After arriving at your house after a long day spent consoling Jungkook, youlop down on your bed, scrolling through some texts.

༻• The Next Day, at Your Local Highschool •༺

“Jungkookie, are you feeling any better?” You make your way to your best friend but then you overhear him speaking to some people.

“Oh yeah, she was the best in bed, don’t let her tough smart-girl act fool you, she was amazing, so submissive for me.” You hoped they were talking about someone else, but when you stick your head past the lockers, checking for a split second, you see that it was none other than your sensitive friend who was speaking to a group of younger males.

“Wow, you’re so cool, Hyung. I thought Y/N was the hardest girl to pin down.” Wait, what?! You resist the urge to storm out, eavesdropping a bit longer to see if you misheard things.

“Yeah boys, she came to me while I was playing Overwatch in my room and then she offered. Just straight up asked if I could fuck her.” You slam your fist against a locker and then you clench your teeth, about to confront him when the bell rings.

It’s 5th period. You don’t have a class because you have a release period. You instinctively check your phone, making sure you didn’t miss any important texts or calls before running out. You don’t know who to trust, or who to go to, as you lost your two best friends within the span of less than 24 hours. People suck.

Then you get a text, as you park your car in front of the coffee shop.

You don’t text back, hoping to surprise him. You forgot to ask him about his work hours but you assumed he worked part-time everyday or something. As you walk up to the counter, you see him standing there, with a bright smile on his lips and crescent-shaped eyes.

“Ah, what a surprise! Hello, valued customer.” His playful attitude is enough to light up your day.

“Hey Jimin. Sorry for dropping in but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, c-can we talk?” You stutter, not realizing you were slurring your words together. Jimin nods, obviously worried about his new friend.

“What happened yesterday?” He takes you to the back of the café, an area where there are less people and you have more privacy.

“You know the friend that was here with me yesterday?” He nods, allowing you to grip his hand and squeeze it for comfort. He’s a really kind person, letting you open up to him without judgement. “She slept with another good friend of mine and ghosted him. And yesterday I went to his house and we talked about it and he cried on my shoulder, but today…”

You feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “...He was talking about what a good lay I was, lying about sleeping with me to a group of underclassmen.”

Your breathing is uneven as Jimin stares directly at you, keeping his gaze strictly on you. You feel naked, exposed, and vulnerable. But his reassuring smile makes you feel a little bit better. Just a little bit.

“Hey, break’s over, get out there.” You see the same man from yesterday, the guy who Jimin claimed was his boyfriend. He looks like the polar opposite of your mellow friend, with a darker aura radiating from him.

You feel like a deer under a lion’s gaze, as he closes in on you, backing you into your corner, making you feel even more vulnerable than before.

You only hoped he wouldn’t try to chase you away, as yesterday he gave you a very uncouth glare, displaying his annoyance with your friendship with Jimin.

You hope with time he will be able to accept you and possibly become a friend of yours as well, but for now, you can only run with your tail tucked between your legs. Just as you’d been running away from your so-called best friends in school.

You were even considering running to Jaehyun and trying one of his edibles, since he had offered a generous amount of times; it would only be courteous of you to finally accept and try it, as you’d been hearing “don’t try it, don’t try it,” your whole life.

You don’t care anymore, and hopefully under Jimin’s wing you will be able to learn about true friendship.

“Aren’t you the girl who asked for Jimin’s number yesterday?” His surprisingly solemn tone catches you off guard, as his eyes tell another story. Maybe that’s just the way he is, physically a very intimidating person but on the inside he might be a fluffy kitten! Okay, maybe not a total kitten, but still squishy. Why else would Jimin date him? He has to be a decent person, unlike all the people you called your friends.

“I am, thanks for noticing. Is there anything you wanted to tell me?” You try to sound as non-threatening as possible, holding your breath, waiting for an answer. You hoped Yoongi didn’t see you as a boyfriend-stealer, nor a generally annoying person.

“No, just wanted to ask you if you need anything else, an iced coffee, some tea...pink lemonade?” His lame attempt at cheering you up makes you crack a smile after a while.

“Maybe some water? I’m a little bit thirsty.”

“Coming right up,” After filling up a glass with water, he slides into the seat across from you, whipping out his phone and humming a tune of a familiar song you recognized from the radio. “I’m on break. This time of the day, things get a bit slow.” You nod in understanding, respectfully keeping your legs crossed and your arms folded in your lap, not wanting to show any sign of weakness.

“What song are you listening to?” You ask, hoping to make some small talk.

“Uncomfortable by Chase Atlantic. It’s my go-to after a stressful day.” You shift in your seat when you hear that name. You absolutely adore that band, and the lead singer’s vocals are absolutely heavenly. You could go on for hours, but you don’t want him to know that yet.

“Oh, that’s...cool I guess.” You try not to jump

up and down in joy as that’s a lesser known band and not very many people know about them.

“Do you know this song?” He leans forward, sliding you his phone and showing you the cover of an old album, one you recognize to be “Don’t Try This,” and the song is GREENGREENGREEN. Their song titles are a bit questionable, but they are true works of art, so you can let it pass.

“I suppose I’ve heard it once or twice…” You trail off, watching how the curve of his smooth lips turn upwards, and carefully, you watch how he mouths the words.

“All I see is green yuh

Moving on your seat yuh yuh yuh

All I see is green, All I see is green, All I see is green.” You smirk, slowly singing the next part.

“It's green where the grass grows

Let the cash flow

You can keep your head high, keep that ass low,” You laugh, the man across from you grinning at how weirdly you sang the lyrics.

You and Yoongi continue listening to Chase Atlantic songs together late into the evening hours. It’s around seven in the evening and the air is cool and humid.

“You have amazing taste in music, I’ve never met anyone else who listens to Chase Atlantic with such passion! Jimin’s an Alec Benjamin person but I always tell him they have similar music styles…” He trails off suddenly, worrying you with the pace of his cutoff. “Listen, I had a lot of fun talking to you. And at first I really didn’t get why Jimin wanted to get to know you better but now I see what he saw. You’re cool, Y/N.” You’re more surprised he remembered your name.

“Thanks Yoongi.” You share a moment of silence, just smiling at each other as Jimin makes his way back to your table.

“It’s time for me to clock out, we’re closing soon.” He slides into the seat across from you, next to Yoongi, and you watch as Yoongi expertly sneaks his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, and you feel small fireworks bursting in your heart. It’s not a weird feeling of jealousy, per say, but rather you feel mellow. You like seeing them together. You like this.

“Feels like just yesterday I walked in here and you gave me black coffee instead of an iced vanilla mocha because you were distracted by my sexiness.” Jimin girlishly flips his hair, and the three of you share a laugh before the lights start flickering.

“What’s going on?”

“Looks like there’s something wrong with the power. Jin!!! Did you mess with the electrical again?!” Yoongi runs back inside the kitchen, making sure everything is fine.

“We’re good, just a minor fix,” you hear the voice of another man from inside. You and Jimin exchange worried looks as the lights stay on for a total of 1.032342352 seconds and then they just turn off completely.

“Dammit, stupid thunderstorm outside caused a power outage through town.” You heard Yoongi cursing from the kitchen before he opened the door and stumbled outside back to you.

“Well, when are the lights gonna come back on?” You ask, clutching onto the table as you sink back on the wooden surface.

“News reports say power lines are under service and will be back in function in an hour.” Jimin shows you the article, making you shiver from the thought of spending the night at the café. You most probably won’t have to do that, since your car is right outside and you can just drive home. But do you really want to face your neighbors after a really tough day of school? No. Your bets are that they will probably try to infiltrate your home, failing are trying to “make it up to you.” You’ve lost any trust you had in them before, Jungkook and Jasmine really screwed up this time.

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jimin sounds steady, but you can faintly see the outline of his striped shirt and how his muscles contract as he shivers right in front of you. You admire him for putting up the dauntless act, but it doesn’t help as the sound of his teeth clashing give it all away.

“Here, take my jacket. I’m not that cold.” You offer him your coat and he hesitantly slips it over his shoulders. He doesn’t wear it, afraid of stretching out the expensive material and risking threat or wearing it out.

“Thanks.”

“Hey guys, can you come in here please? We need help with the door.” You and Jimin carefully make your way to the pantry, which is at a door at the end of the kitchen. You’d never been inside one in a restaurant, but you assumed it was the same as your school. The kitchen was the darkest room, but thanks to the dim lighting from Jimin’s phone, you safely arrived at the end of the path.

“What are you doing now?” You see a second man, taller than Yoongi and Jimin combined, holding a large box.

“We’re just taking this inside. This stuff is smelly, so we make sure they stay sealed in the pantry until we need them,” The older man has a charming smile, and you can already tell he is a gentleman. He looks a little bit older than you, but you can tell by his mannerisms that he’s a bit older. “And hi, I’m Jin.” He introduces himself, winking at you as he walks past, with Yoongi rolling his eyes at the lame flirting attempt. You thought it was cute.

“Coming through! Move over babe.” Yoongi warns Jimin, who holds the door open while you watch over his shoulder, making sure he doesn’t fall back. Not that you will be of any help.

“Oh crap, I think I forgot something in the kitchen!” You and Jimin make your way into the pantry, shrugging at the way Jin quickly left his post.

“So...what’s exactly in the box?” Your curiosity seems to know no limits as you keep asking questions, over and over again. Yoongi and Jimin, however, find it amusing.

“Vinaigrette. All the same type, same brand.” Yoongi dusts his hands and walks back to the closed door, wrapping his fingers around the cool metal knob before turning it….to find that it doesn’t open.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Jimin asks, wrapping your jacket around him more tightly. You sigh at his adorable pout. But of course, you try to ignore their moment, focusing on your phone instead. Your battery is at 8% already, and you need to save as much power as you can. However, you also need to distract yourself.

“It won’t open.” You stand up. You’ve hated small spaces since you were a little girl and you refuse to get stuck in a food pantry with two insanely attractive men. What if you run out of oxygen? It’s not them, it’s you.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Yoongi notices your mini panic attack, as you pant heavily, now looking for some sort of opening to crawl through. You need to escape.

“I need to get out!” You shudder as the dim lighting of your phone suddenly disappears. Your phone just died. What the fuck are you going to do now?!

“We’re fine, we just need to call Jin,” Yoongi knocks on the door, and you all stay quiet to hear any feedback. What you didn’t know was that Jin had gone out to run errands and he wouldn’t be back until much later.

“Let me text him.” Luckily, Jimin’s phone has enough power to send one text. Jin replies quickly, telling Jimin that he’ll be back in half an hour, maybe even later because of the horrible weather.

“Looks like we’ll be stuck here for awhile.” Yoongi sits down on the floor first, making himself comfortable between two flour bags. You and Jimin make yourselves comfortable on the floor, shrugging as you snuggle into some things but the lights are off so you have no idea where you’re sitting. Your eyes are adjusted to the darkness, so you can see the faint outlines in the pitch darkness.

Then you think of all the things that happened today. How you overheard Jungkook telling people lies, and how heartlessly Jasmine let go of him (even though he partially deserved it), and all of the lies and betrayal. Jasmine has cheated on a lot of her past boyfriends, but for some reason you thought she would treat Jungkook differently. And Jungkook just cares about fitting in. You wish you could forget it all and go back to being friends, but you are just so, so sad. They broke your heart. You don’t know if you can trust anyone else ever again. You silently sob, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

But your stupid sniffles give you away.

“Are you..crying?” Jimin asks after a long silence.

“No…” You wipe your tears and turn to his voice.

“Tell us what’s wrong.” Yoongi’s warmth creates an almost suffocating feeling in the air as your breathing falters and you feel very disconnected from your environment. You can’t even tell if your eyes are open or not because of how long you’ve been trapped. It’s driving you mad. The only thing keeping you sane are the two men sitting in front of you...or behind you. You can’t tell anymore.

“I just want my friends back. And I want to believe that everything will be alright but lately...everything’s been horrible! Life just keeps throwing one obstacle after another and I just want to believe that everything will be okay but it isn’t! My best friend slept with my other best friend and now everything’s weird between the three of us, and my other friend decided to tell everyone that we’re screwing. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! Everything is spiraling out of control and I can’t do shit,” You breathe heavily and silence follows, as the boys allow you to catch your breath, not inputting anything just yet. “Thanks for letting me rant. I just needed to let that out, I guess.” You bite your bottom lip, and you can smell the anticipation in the air as the boys wait for their turn to speak.

Oh wow, now you’ve robbed them of their words. Aren’t you the best friend ever.

“Can I say something?” Jimin waits for a moment before dictating his thoughts, “It sounds like you were just thrown into a random mess that had nothing to do with you directly.” He says, earning a cough from Yoongi. Luckily, the sleepy-eyed man is kind enough to cough in his sleeve (ugh corona) and he says, “I agree with Jimin. And that guy sounds like a bitch boy. I’m pretty sure he’s one of those coconut headed e-boy wannabes. Or just a plain fuckboy.” You scrunch your nose. “Jungkook isn’t like that.”

“Oh, with a name like that he’s bound to have a talent. Maybe he dances really well? Lemme guess, he’s a really good singer but is as shy as a goat.” You didn’t know goats were shy. Yoongi seems knowledgeable, so you don’t question him.

“He’s a good singer, alright, but he wants to be a progamer when he graduates.” You reveal it to them, all of a sudden going off on a tangent about your childhood crush and best friend.

“It sounds like you guys are close,” Jimin whispers in a hushed voice, so quietly that you almost miss him. “And from what I can tell, he’s insecure and wants people to think he’s cool. So he used you, as stupid as it was, I think he’s worth fighting for.” You feel a sudden lightness in your chest, like you just confessed something you felt guilty about. It’s as if he’s in your head, and he understands exactly what you’re going through.

“Jimin and I actually got together because of a misunderstanding in the first place, if he hadn’t fought for us, who knows where he might’ve ended up?” You can’t see what Jimin does exactly, but you assume that his face is scrunched up into a cute cringe of sorts, anything that man does is adorable.

“My parents would’ve forced me to become a pastor. They aren’t exactly the most open-minded people...coming out to them was the hardest thing I ever did. And luckily, Yoongi was with me all through the process after they disowned me and threw me out of the house. I guess I lost my biological family but I ended up with something even better.” You feel your lips turn upward, the first feeling you’ve experienced since sadness. You feel hopeful, and happy that the two men can freely be together without judgement from those around them.

You feel slightly jealous as well, since their relationship worked out and yours with Jungkook are in shambles. Maybe it’s not too late to fix this, but seeing as he hadn’t even sent you as much as a “Good morning” text, you decided it was better to leave him alone for now. The darkness is not only making you blind; it’s making you unempathetic. You do feel a bit of fear though, as the sense of not knowing what else might be in here with you is overwhelming and you literally want to curl into a ball and cry. “Your breathing is heavy again...are you okay?” Yoongi’s voice soothes you as you slowly recover from the mini-panic attack. You don’t know if you can take it anymore.

“Sorry, I’m just a little claustrophobic.” You hear some shifting as Yoongi makes himself more comfortable.

“Oh shit, I forgot about Jin,” Jimin pulls out his phone, as it vibrates with a text. Your vision is blurry, but you can see his face with the help of the dim light from his device. “Jin said he’s running late in traffic. We might be stuck for a little longer.” You snap, reaching for the closest thing to you, standing up on your two wobbly legs.

“I can’t do this! I’m going crazy, I need to get out! Anything...away….can’t breathe!” You start taking deep breaths, slightly embarrassed at showing the two boys you barely know your weak side. Of course, they are absolute sweethearts about it.

“Honja jjujeo anja

Saenggag man keojyeoga

Eonjebuteo neon nal apeuge haessdeonga

Neo jochado moreujanha,” He slowly makes his way behind you, snaking his arms around your shoulders in a very intimate manner.

“Neodo apeujanha 'cause you’re mine

I just want to blow your mind

Ireohge neon tto meoleojyeo man ganeunde,” You close your eyes and sink into his embrace, swaying in a movement that could only be described as heaven. His voice is heaven.

“I want you to be your light, baby

You should be your light

Deoneun apeuji anhge

Nega useul su issge

I want you to be your night, baby

You could be your night

Ibami neoege soljighal su issge…” He trails off, leaving you feeling speechless from listening to his honey-like voice. The song is also new, something you’ve never heard. You clap, astounded by his vocals.

“That was amazing!!! Thank you so much for doing that.” You can almost picture the cute blush on his cheeks as you praise him, but you aren’t going to let him know that.

“No problem.” As you both share a moment, Yoongi finds a supposed way out.

“Look, there’s a duct back here. Should one of us go through and see if they can let the others out?” You and Jimin share a look of suspicion but you volunteer anyways.

“I guess I’ll do it. Seems logical.” You get to your hands and feet, and Jimin gives you his phone, tenderly. There’s a gentleness in his eyes and through the blinding light of the flashlight on his phone, you could see his pupils dilate slightly. For a moment, it’s just you and him, as the rest of the world fades to black. You snap out of your daze when Yoongi coughs into his arm again, and you prepare to crawl into a dusty duct that’s been closed for decades.

You eventually find an exit, and you’re surprised at how long Jimin’s battery life was. It was only at 49%, despite him using his phone for half the time you were together. He must’ve charged it to the full 100%. You find a screw loose on another duct, opening it with ease and slipping into the kitchen. And then when you shine your flashlight, you realize your location.

You quickly run to the locked door and find that opening it from the outside is a piece of cake. The two men are thankful, but they still complain about the power. Jimin texts Jin that all of you got out, and he just tells you to go home.

The time is about 9:41, 2 hours later than you’d hoped to go home. Nonetheless, you had fun spilling your heart to these two wonderful men. You’ve never felt so close with a pair of strangers, but you can tell these two will become an important part of your life very soon.

༻• At your House •༺

“Where were you?” Your mother yells as you walk through the door, and you put your bag on the floor, flopping face down on the couch.

“I was at a café but then there was a power outage and I got stuck in a food pantry.” You nonchalantly tilt your head upwards at your mom, as her look of anger changes into one of worry.

“How did you get out?” She asks, bringing you a cheese sandwich. You plug in your phone upside down, but it’s okay because you can see the logo pop up after a minute.

“I crawled through a duct. It was fun but dusty. Oh, sorry for not texting you. My phone died.” She raises an eyebrow.

“Y/N...is there something you’re not telling me?” You fold your arms, whining like a baby. “Was there someone else with you?” You nod, not wanting to tell your mom in detail. “Okay, I’m not gonna ask any more questions. But earlier Jungkook came by, he wanted to talk to you in person. After he left, Jasmine dropped by an hour ago, saying she wanted to see you too. Did something happen between the three of you?” You sigh, turning right-side up on the couch, resting your head on your mother’s shoulder.

“Mom, can I please just go to bed? I don’t feel so good.” Instead of pestering you to tell her, she complies with your wishes, leaving you alone to go into the kitchen.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I started renting the top floor of our house to two nice young men. They’ll stay with us, and we can get money.” You raise your eyebrows at her, not believing her fully. Your mom was never the type of person to do that. You had suggested it in the past, but she had never fully gone through with plans before. Especially big ones.

“And why did you agree to it?”

“Because they are so charming, Y/N, when I put the ad up, they immediately responded, saying that they’d do all the housework and help cook, and take care of the house as if it was theirs, even though they are paying to stay in one room.” You grab your backpack and make your way upstairs. After finishing your nighttime routine, you tuck yourself in and retire for the night.

You wake up with the sudden urge to pee. So, you run to the bathroom only to find a very unexpected sight. The same man with the crescent shaped eyes when he smiles is standing in your bathroom, brushing his teeth.

“J-Jimin?” He turns his head, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“I live here!”

“Me too!” Dear God, what has your mother done?

#jimin #yoongi #jungkook #reader #cafeau #barista #bts #yoonmin #yoonmin x reader #Poly #fluff #cute #high school

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macademmia · 4 years

Text

I Like Me Better When I’m With You

Rating: Teen

Relationship: Janus/Patton, Moceit

Summary: Janus Dean did not mean to start dating Patton Hart for political gain, and he definitely did not mean to fall in love with him.

(Or the fake dating high school AU that nobody asked for but everyone needed.)

Based on this prompt by the incredible @kawaiikat54

Warnings: cursing, homophobia(nothing violent)

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Everybody loves Patton Hart. He’s one of those rare popular kids who got their popularity by being a great person. Patton knows everyone’s first and last name and he’s in almost every club. He’s every teacher’s favorite student and every girl’s crush. He never curses and is nice to everyone. He’ll help you with your homework and listen to your problems. He gives hugs like it's nothing. Patton Hart thinks life is a fairy tale.

Jason Dean absolutely despises Patton Hart. Everything in Patton’s life is perfect and everything he can get everything he’s ever wanted just by showing up. Janus has to fight for what he wants every step of the way. Janus is not trusted easily like Patton. Janus has a resting bitch face, whereas Patton’s face naturally falls into a smile. Janus is the night of Patton's day.

For most of high school, Janus has been fine ignoring Patton. They never got in each other’s way, and Janus and his friend Ethan bonded over laughing at him. Janus stayed in his lane and Patton stayed in his that’s our it’s always been.

Today everything changed. Today Patton Hart entered the race for student body president. Janus has spent the past month campaigning and building up goodwill, but it’s all pointless. Voters will take one look at the name Patton Hart and check the box next to his name. Patton doesn’t even have to captain. Just like always, Patton wins just by showing up.

It’s infuriating, and it means that Janus will have to fight dirty.

When the bell for lunch rings, Janus exits through the backdoor of the courtyard. It’s empty like it always is.

Across the courtyard, his friend Ethan is leaning against the hard brick wall with a cigarette in one hand, and a flask in the other.

“‘Sup Janus.”

“Hello, Ethan, did you hear the news?”

“That Hart’s running for president? Yeah.”

“What do you think we should do about it?”

“Probably something he wouldn’t like,” Ethan says, and Janus laughs.

“What did you have in mind? Stage a scandal? Hack his email? Push him down a flight of stairs?” Janus was pretty partial to the last one.

“Fun, but no. To win this race you’re going to have to go big or go home.”

That doesn’t sound good, especially coming from Ethan.

“What do you mean, go big or go home?”

“You need to pretend to date Patton Hart.”

Janus laughed, “Absolutely not.”

Ethan growled at him, “Did I fucking stutter Dean?”

Janus glared at him, “Did I? I’m not doing that.”

Ethan did not back down, “Take a second to think about it before you get all your feather ruffled. If you pretend to date Patton, you will get everything. You will find out what’s under his everything is a perfect persona. You’ll have a confession that he’s gay. If you do it you’re practically guaranteed to win the race.”

Janus pauses, “You have a point. I’ll think about it. You happy?”

“Ecstatic.”

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It’s been a week and Janus has thought of a way to talk to Patton, let alone ask him out. Hell, despite what Ethan says, he doesn’t even know if Patton is gay, bi, or pan at all.

Despite the fact that if he is in fact, not straight, Patton is closeted, Ethan has been texting him more and more every day, and at this point, Janus might just flat out ask Patton out just to get him to shut up.

As if on cue, Janus’ phone buzzes with a text. He doesn’t have to check who it is. He groans and shuts his phone off. History class is about to begin anyways.

In the time that he’s read the text and dumped his phone into his bag, Patton Hart has somehow managed to sneak up on him.

“Everything ok?” Patton asks, and there’s genuine concern in his voice. It drives Janus crazy. Through his glasses, Janus can see the concern and care in his big brown eyes, and it’s so powerful that he almost has to take a step back.

Janus looks away from Patton, “Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be?”

Patton just shrugs, “You just seemed stressed.”

“Oh well, thank you for your concern but I have everything under control,” Janus says, and why is it so hard for him to talk to Patton. Each word sounds awkward and unsure and it’s a complete 180 from the smooth and suave tone he usually uses.

Before the conversation can get any more awkward, the bell rings.

“Glad to hear it,” Patton says.

Janus just nodded and walked inside the classroom.

Within the next few minutes, kids start filing in and sitting in their usual spots. Patton is sitting in the front predictably and Janus is watching him from the third row.

Once all the students have filed into the dilapidated classroom their teacher, Mr. Rivers walks up to the front of the class.

“All right everybody!” He says. “So today I thought we could switch things up a bit, and instead of me teaching you something like we normally do, you could teach your classmates and me something?”

The class stares at him blankly, but Mr. Rivers doesn’t seem to notice their lack of a reaction.

“So I decided that you all, with the help of a partner, will present on a series of influential people throughout history who all share one trait in common. It’s opened ended, so the thing all your people have in common can be creative! Hopefully y’all can have fun with this! Today you are going to have all of this class period to talk with your partner and get started, the project will be due next week. Any questions?”

Only one girl raises her hand, and Mr. Rivers calls on her enthusiastically, “Can we choose our Partners?” She says.

“Nope! I’m going to be picking partners for you all, it’s great to work with new people.” He replies cheerfully.

A low groan rumbles through the classroom, but Mr. Rivers doesn’t comment on it.

“Alright so first up is Will Solace and Nico De Angelo.”

The teacher keeps on listening names until finally Janus’ name was called,

“...and finally we have Patton Hart and Janus Hart.”

Well, that was one way to get the plan going. At least he’d have something to report to Ethan.

Janus was not ready when Patton came bounding towards his Desk, with brown curls bouncing in time with his steps.

Janus was pretty sure he could stare at Patton and still not have counted every one of his freckles, the kid had so many.

“Hey, Janus!” Patton was at his desk.

“Hi, Patton.”

“So what do you wanna do? I know a lot of the other kids are doing soldiers from the same wars and stuff so we could do that if you’d like”

“Well,” Janus mock whispers, “I was thinking we could spice things up a little bit, maybe do some queer people throughout history, freak the class out about it.” Janus was acting nonchalant but on the inside he was nervous; Patton’s reaction could change this entire election.

Patton’s face seemed to light up even more if that was even possible. “That sounds awesome! There are so many people throughout history and no one even knows about it! Like did you know historians think Abraham Lincoln might have been gay? Or Eleanor Roosevelt, they found letters from her to a female lover or Alan Turing, he was essential in the liberation of Europe from Nazi Germany, and he was gay!”

Janus raises an eyebrow, “Wow Patton you sure do know a lot.”

Patton freezes and then rushes to defend himself, “Oh yeah I just wanted to support my LGBTQ friends by learning about their history! I just want to be a good ally.” Patton smiles but Janus can tell he’s nervous.

Yep, Janus thinks, totally just an ally.

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Two weird things happen next week. Janus and Patton get an A on their assignment and Patton start sitting at Janus’ table. Janus has no clue why; Patton could sit at any table in the entire cafeteria and be welcomed as an honored guest. The first week Patton sits at Janus’ table, Janus doesn’t talk to all. He has his recorder on sure, but he’s too confused to respond.

Patton talks about everything. He talks about frogs and theater and the stars. He talks about his family and his favorite colors.

It should drive Janus crazy, but it doesn’t.

Listening to Patton talk becomes one of the best parts of his day.

When Janus finally starts throwing in a sarcastic comment here and there, Patton’s smile could outshine the sun.

Janus ignores the fact that his heart speeds up more than it should when he’s around Patton.

With every recording he sends to Ethan, his guilt grows and grows. Janus doesn’t know how to handle the guilt, and he definitely doesn’t know how to deal with how he feels about Patton.

He can’t stop thinking about Patton, even when they’re not at lunch together. He can’t stop thinking about the way Patton’s eyebrows crinkle together when he laughs or how he gives Janus his full attention when he talks. He doesn’t want to think about the swell of anger in his gut every time someone so much as looks bad in Patton’s direction.

Today though, today something is wrong with Patton.

He won’t make eye contact with Janus, and he’s hunched in on himself. His smile is absent, and he won’t stop twisting his fingers.

This isn’t how Patton’s supposed to be. He’s supposed to be joyful and happy. But that’s not right, is it? Janus has always thought of Patton as a positivity god, above it all. Now, as Patton fidgets in front of him, Janus is reminded of how undeniably human Patton is.

Patton’s voice is so low that Janus isn’t sure if I heard you, “Do I bother you?”

Janus blinks. He never thought someone like Patton would ask him questions like that.

“Of course not,” Janus says, and it’s the truth. He loves being around Patton. He loves hearing him talk, he loves the fact that he’s three inches taller than Patton, he loves how Patton makes him feel better about himself when Patton is around. Janus wants to find whoever made Patton believe that he was a bother and give them a black eye. Or two.

Patton still remains hunched in on himself, “It’s ok Janus, I know you’re just being sarcastic.”

“Patton,” Janus says, “Look at me,” He waits until Patton reluctantly meets his gaze, “You’re not a bother, in fact, sitting here with you at lunch is the highlight of my day.”

Patton lets out a surprised o with his mouth, and Janus isn’t sure whether or not he wants to wrap Patton in a thousand blankets or hunt down everyone who ever hurt him.

Patton is making Janus soft, but he can’t find himself to care.

Next Tuesday, Patton comes up to his table like he’s about to go to war. His shoulders are tensed and his eyebrows are furrowed. His backpack straps are pulled as tight as possible and he’s marching towards Janus’ table.

“I’m gay. And I wanted to tell you because you’re the first person in my life who doesn’t care about who I am or what I can do for you and I really hope that’s okay” Patton says, and he’s shaking a little.

Janus is struck by how brave Patton is. Janus has never had the guts to come out, not like this, and here Patton is, exposing himself completely. Janus can see the fear in his eyes, but Patton doesn’t let it stop him.

“I knew you weren’t just an ally.”

Patton twirls the bracelet on his left wrist, “Am I really that obvious?”

Janus shakes his head, “Nah, it just takes one to one.” Janus watches as the confusion on Patton’s eyes morphs into realization.

“Oh,” Patton says.

“Yeah” Janus replies.

Patton smiles at him and starts talking about frogs.

Janus’ phone feels heavier with the recording of Patton coming out.

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When Janus sends the recording of Patton’s coming he should feel good. He did it, that tape is enough to ruin Patton’s popularity for the rest of high school. He won.

But he doesn’t feel good. In fact, he’s never felt worse. He’s going to get everything he ever wanted and he hates it.

He can’t keep doing this to Patton, he can’t keep pretending to be the friend Patton so desperately needs when his moral compass is practically pointed towards Antarctica.

He can’t take back the damage he did to Patton, but maybe he can stop pushing the knife deeper.

He picks up his phone and texts Ethan.

Janus Dean, 7:30 pm: we’re done, I’m not going to pretend to date Patton anymore, I’m not going to send you recordings anymore.

Ethan doesn’t even bother texting him back, He just calls Janus a few seconds after he receives the text.

Janus picks up his phone and takes a deep breath. He has a feeling he’ll need it.

“What the fuck Dean?”

“Hello to you too Ethan,” Janus says, hoping the sarcasm will hide the panic.

“Don’t you fucking dare ‘Hello Ethan’ me.” Ethan snarls, “A deal is a deal, you can’t just pull out like this.”

“Why do you care anyway? You’re not running for student body president, I am!”

“Aw, you’re cute Dean.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean.” Janus snaps.

“You think I give a shit about your little election? Are you crazy? I could care less, no this was all about Patton.”

“What do you have against him?”

A manic laughed echoed through the phone, “I want to see that dumb smile fall right off his moronic face.”

“That’s it? You’re going to ruin his life because you’re feeling petty?” Janus knows Ethan isn’t the most ethical person out there but this is low even for him.

Ethan doesn’t seem to care, “Now you’re getting it, JDelightful.”

Fuck, He underestimated how crazy Ethan could be.

Janus could hear Ethan smiling through the phone, “You’re going to regret saying no to me.” He said, and with that, the line went dead.

It was all over. Patton, the one person who ever cared about Janus was going to leave. It wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when.

However, he did still have a few hours left. And he had nothing else to lose.

Janus Dean, 7:41 pm: Can we hang out?

Patton Hart, 7:41 pm: Sure! When and where?

Janus Dean, 7:42 pm: I know this awesome hidden park we could check out, I can pick you up, I’ll be there in 10.

Patton Hart, 7:42 pm: awesome!!! :D

Janus was going to lose Patton. There was no use of denying it.

That wasn’t going to stop him from taking every second he could get and treasuring it forever.

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Patton is sitting on the front steps of his house when Janus’ blank car swings around the block.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” Janus deadpans

“Hello to you too snake boy,” Patton says, matching Janus’ monotone.

“Snake boy? Really? Is that the best you could come up with Golden Boy.”

“Takes one to know one Janus,” Patton says. Is he talking about what Janus said when Patton comes out? Janus hopes he’s not blushing.

“Touché, Patton,” Janus says, and Patton grins at him. Janus can’t stop staring at his lips.

Stop looking at him like that, you’re never going to be his anything.

Janus ignores his inner monologue.

Patton shuffles his playlist and Don’t Stop Believing comes on.

“Oh my god Patton, you are such a dad.” Janus groans, but Patton pretends not to hear him

“Don’t stop believing,” Patton sings, “Hold on to that feeling” Patton belts the last song and it’s so terrible, but it’s so Patton and Janus falls just a little bit harder.

Patton is giving him the look, the do what I say or I’ll be sad look. Janus sighs.

“Hold on to that feeling.” Janus sings, and Patton lets out a whoop, and Janus starts signing louder, “Street light people, waiting just to find emotion.”

“Living just to find emotion!” Patton shouts, and Janus belts right along with him.

Another song comes on, and then another, and suddenly Patton and Janus have screamed themselves hoarse singing 80s songs.

By the time they’ve gone through six songs, the sky is falling down, and Patton’s windshield wipers are swiping in overtime.

When they pull up to the park, it’s pouring. There are no cars in the parking lot and Janus can barely see five feet in front of him.

Patton frowns, “Aw man, it’s raining. I guess we’ll just have to come back later.”

Janus freezes. There is no later. It is literally now or never.

“No,” Janus says.

“No?” Patton says in surprise.

“It’s just water, it can’t stop us from having fun,” Janus says. This is it. If Patton says no Janus doesn’t know what he’ll do.

“Okay,” Patton says, giving Janus a mischievous smile.

Janus unbuckles his seat belt and gets out of the safety of the car in the pouring rain. Within the first three seconds of being outside, Janus is drenched from head to toe. He doesn’t notice.

“Hey,” Patton says. Just like Janus, Patton is soaked. His cardigan is leaking, and his glasses are foggy. His curls have fallen flat and raindrops hang on his bangs.

“Hi,” Janus replies, and this is so absurd. He’s standing outside alone with Patton Hart in an abandoned park in the rain, just before his life is about to fall apart.

Janus wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Dance with me,” Janus hears himself saying.

“I don’t know how to dance.”

“I’ll teach you.”

Janus walks over to Patton and says, “Ok so first I’m gonna put my arms around your shoulders like this,” Slowly, in case Patton wants to pull away Janus puts his arms on top of Patton’s shoulders.

“What’s next?” Patton asks.

“Put your arms on my waist,” Janus says. He can feel Patton hesitate and then tentatively wrap his arms around his middle. The feeling of Patton’s skin on his is electrifying.

Patton smiles, “Now what?”

“Now we just move,” Janus says simply and he follows Patton’s movements. For a beginner, Patton is a surprisingly good dancer.

The two dance under the stars to the melody of the rain.

Neither of them says anything, but Patton’s face is so close to his and his lips are even closer.

It takes all the willpower Janus has to not kiss Patton then and there.

“Hey, Patton?”

“Yeah, Janus?”

The butterflies in Janus’ stomach are more like raging pigeons.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, but, I think now is the right time,” Janus takes a deep breath and Patton gives him an encouraging look.

“I like you. I really like you, Patton. I’ve liked you ever since you sat down at my table and started to talk about frogs. I thought it was just a friend thing, but it’s not. Because the truth is Patton, I want to be with you, all the time. I want to kiss you and I want to call you my boyfriend.” Patton is silent.

“If you don’t feel the same way, I totally get it. I’ll leave you alone. I won’t push it, I promise. I don’t want it to be weird I just want you to be ha-“

Janus is cut off by Patton grabbing his collar, and pulling him down to his level for a kiss.

Patton is kissing him. Patton is Kissing Him. Holy shit. This is better than anything Janus could have imagined. Patton’s lips are soft against his chapped ones. They’re warm despite the pouring rain. Patton wraps his arms around Janus’s neck to keep himself steady, and Janus brushes Patton’s bangs away from his eyes.

When Patton finally pulls away, there’s fire in his eyes.

“You absolute idiot,” Patton says, taking a second to breathe, “how could you think, even for a second, that I wouldn’t like you.”

Janus laughs and doesn’t stop looking at Patton, “I guess I’m just dumber than I thought.”

Patton nods vigorously in agreement, “understatement of the century, snake boy.”

Patton goes in for another kiss, and Janus doesn’t want this night to ever end.

Fuck Ethan.

Fuck the election.

Fuck other people.

Janus just wants to stay with Patton forever.

When he gets back from his date with Patton, Janus is so happy, all he wants to do is jump and scream with joy. He’s never felt more himself around another person. He feels so alive when he’s with Patton that he never wants to stop.

He drops his bag down on the floor of his bedroom and jumps on his bed. He’s smiling so hard it hurts but he doesn’t want to stop. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t used those muscles in years.

He grabs his phone, pops his earbuds in, and shuffles the playlist Patton made for him. He’ll never get over the small act of Patton making a playlist for him. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over Patton. He loves the way Patton lights up when he talks about frogs. He adores how Patton keeps smiling day after day, he’s stronger than anyone will ever know. He loves the way Patton shoves his glasses up his nose when he’s nervous. He loves how when he talks Patton just listens and Janus somehow knows that Patton understands. He loves how good Patton is. He loves how he tastes like cinnamon and rainy days. Being with Patton is like seeing this sun after years of being stuck underground, Janus will never get sick of his light.

After he finds the playlist he lays down and closes his eyes, and just listens to the music. He breathes in and out and it’s almost like Patton is right there next to him.

About 15 minutes later Janus’ phone buzzes, and he grabs it excitedly, hoping Patton is sending him a goodnight text.

His mood plummets when he sees who really texted him. Ethan. This can’t be good. Time has run out.

When the messages app opens there are two unread messages.

The first one is a link to an Instagram post made by Ethan. The second one reads “You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

When Janus clicked on the post, it was a list of screenshots. Texts between Ethan and Janus. Texts between Patton and Janus. Janus’ audio recordings. And they spilled everything

The whole school knew that Janus had got together Patton for political power. The whole school knew that Janus had tricked Patton. The whole school knew that Patton fell for it.

Fuck, the whole school knew Patton was gay. Janus let Patton get outed. Patton, who shared his secret with Janus, was now left to vultures known as teenagers. Patton, who was still figuring himself out, was forced out of the closet in the worst possible way. Patton who thought someone finally loved him for who he was and not what he could do, was just publicly used for political gain

He would never get to choose how to say it. He would never get to hug his friends when he invited them to their favorite diner and told them over milkshakes about who he was. He’ll never get to slowly start to wear rainbow pins on his pack packs. He would never get to walk into a GSA and see the happy surprise on everyone’s faces. He would never get to be ready.

And it was all Janus’ fault.

He has to call Patton, and he has to do it now.

When he dials Patton’s number it rings out. He dials again, the same thing. Again and again. Every time Patton doesn’t pick up Janus breaks more and more.

“Fuck!” He shouts, and his voice cracks. He can feel the tears start to come and his throat start to close up. He ruined the one good thing in his life. He should have seen this coming. His happiness was never meant to last.

His only consolation is that tomorrow is a Saturday, so he doesn’t have to put on a brave face so anyone. He won’t have to face Ethan in the halls. He won’t have to see the disgust and disappointment in Patton’s face.

That night, he cries himself to sleep.

————————————————

Janus spends the entire weekend locked in his room. He doesn’t have the energy to get out of bed. The loss of Patton is crushing him so hard he can barely breathe. He deletes his Instagram, and turns off messaging notifications. He listens to Patton’s playlist over and over and over again, just to feel like he’s with Patton again. It doesn’t work.

He doesn’t know how he can face school on Monday. He knows he won’t get in any trouble, the student body is so homophobic that they’d probably congratulate him. The school administrators will call it an out of school affair and turn their heads the other way. Janus might as well start saying he’s student body president now.

No, what he can’t handle is seeing Patton in the hallways, robbed of his beautiful smile. Seeing Patton avoid his gaze and stop waving to people in the halls. Watching all the terrible people at Sanders high go in for the kill. He can’t watch, knowing it’s all his fault.

The worst part is he will be congratulated for doing this. He will get his dream. Students will be proud of him, teachers will pretend they didn’t say anything, Ethan won’t get suspended. Patton could fall apart and no one would notice.

The world isn’t fair, Janus always knew Patton would have to learn that. He didn’t want Patton to learn it like this.

No one should.

——————

When Janus’ first alarm goes off on Monday morning he shuts it off instantly. The last thing he wants to do is get up. He does the same thing with the second one. He could fake a sick day, right? When the third alarm rolls around, he counts to three and forces himself to get up. No matter how bad he’s feeling, he cannot show weakness. Not now, and not ever.

He rolls out of bed and puts on clothes robotically. He’s barely aware of what he’s wearing, but it’s fine. Everything is fine.

He laces up his docs and throws his books in his backpack. He unplugs his phone then brushes his teeth. He grabs his bag and then heads downstairs.

He pours himself a mug of scalding black coffee. He downs it steaming hot. He likes the way the bitter liquid burns as it goes down his throat. Never let it be said that he couldn’t be edgy. He doesn’t have anything else for breakfast, and he can hear Patton chiding him in his head.

Janus shakes his head, puts his mug in the sink, and heads out the door.

When he gets to his car he pauses. He means to turn the key to ignite it. All he can think about is Friday night when Patton and Janus ran back to Janus’ car in the pouring pain and held hands while Janus drove him home. Patton kissed him goodbye.

Suddenly, Janus’ lips feel cold.

He takes a deep breath and turns the key. He can’t think about that. Not anymore. He has to stay strong because if he starts to cry, he’s not sure he’ll ever stop.

When he gets to school he parks his car in his spot. He keeps telling himself the same thing: Don't let anyone know you’re bothered, especially not Ethan.

He hesitates for a few seconds before walking in the school building. He will not let his fear control him. He can do this. He owes it to Patton.

In the halls, he can hear the students whispering about him. He hears his name and Patton’s name and he hears the word, queer. The students whisper the word gay like it’s a dirty secret they shouldn’t know. It makes Janus’ blood boil but he has to keep walking.

He keeps looking for Patton in the halls, but he can’t find him anywhere. Patton always gets to school early to say hi to everyone. He’s at school every morning at 7:50 by his locker. Why isn’t he there?

Because you used him for selfish reasons and let him get outed, idiot, he thinks.

For the rest of the day, Janus’ classes go in one ear and out the other. It’s a Monday so he doesn’t have any classes with Patton, but he still can’t pay attention. He can feel the states of other students during class and it is unbearable. Patton made school enjoyable and now that he’s gone it’s a nightmare.

During lunch, his food tastes like cardboard and he sits alone. He doesn’t know where Patton is but he’s not at their-his table. He forces the sandwich down and opts to hide in the library for the rest of lunch.

At the end of the day Janus instinctively starts walking to his car in the parking lot. It’s in the fifth row. When he gets to the third bow he stops walking. Patton’s car is in the third row. He can deny it all he wants but Janus knows that if he doesn’t talk to Patton now he never will.

He can’t let Patton go, not now, not ever.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Before Patton sees him, Janus can already tell he's been crying. His eyes are red and puffy and he won’t stop rubbing at him.

He’s about to get in his car when Janus shouts, “Patton wait!”

Patton whips around, and when his eyes meet Janus’, Janus resists the urge to take a step back. The pain in Patton’s brown eyes is overwhelming.

“What do you want, Janus?” Patton snaps. His voice is hard and cold, so unlike the typical warmth, Patton brings to every conversation.

Janus avoids Patton’s eyes, “I wanted to apologize, I never meant to hurt you and,” Janus looks for the right words, but nothing seems to work, “I’m so so sorry.”

“You dated me to help you win an election, Janus, how did you not mean to hurt me? The whole idea was to hurt me!” Patton says. He’s shaking.

Janus can’t think of anything to say, so Patton just keeps going.

“I finally thought I found someone who wanted me for who I am! No! Everyone just wants me for what I can give them, popularity, friendship, support, and I thought you were different! I opened myself up to you and you spilled my secrets to the world!”

Janus closes his eyes. “Patton…” He whispers, and he reaches out for Patton’s hand.

Patton jerks back violently as if he has just been burned. “I don’t have anything to say to you.” Patton’s fists are clenched at his side and Janus wonders if he’s going to start swinging them.

He’d deserve it, but Janus just won’t stop pushing. He loves Patton too much to let go.

“Patton please.” Janus says. He has never been a beggar but he is willing to fall down at Patton’s feet just to see that warm smile directed at him one more time. He would walk through hell and hack just to make Patton happy again.

“You know what Janus? I could forgive the whole, I played with your emotions to win a dumb high school election thing.” Patton says, “I could forgive how I gave you my heart and you crushed it beneath your heel. But you didn’t just leave it at that. No, you had to publicly humiliate me. You let your friend Ethan out me. I don’t care if it was for an election, you don’t just get to do that Janus!” Patton is screaming at him now, “You don’t get to decide that. I’m supposed to be the one who decides where, and when, and who knows, and how I get to say it, that’s supposed to be my thing! And you took that away from me.”

Patton’s explosive anger is hardening into something cooler, harder, and more dangerous.

“So would you please just get the fuck away from me!”

That’s when it really hits Janus how badly he fucked up. Patton never curses. Patton doesn’t even say darn. If Patton was angry enough to use a curse word, the world should be terrified. It’s more unlikely for Patton to curse than for him to hit someone

Janus wishes Patton had hit him, because it would hurt so much less.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later Janus, Patton, and the entire school are in the auditorium waiting to hear the election results. All of Janus' months of work have led up to this moment. The name on the slip of paper the principal is holding will tell him if it was all for nothing.

Students are chattering to each other but Janus tunes it all out, because for the first time in two weeks, Patton is sitting next to him.

Granted, it’s not by choice, the two candidates have to sit together in the first row, but Janus will take anything he can get.

“Alright everybody, Settle down, settle down.” The principal's deep voice echoes through the auditorium. When he’s satisfied with the noise level, he continues, “Both of our candidates have worked tirelessly these past months to present themselves as student body presidents worthy of you, and happy to say that both of them have done a phenomenal job. However, there can only be one winner of this race so without further ado, your new student body president is,” He pauses for dramatic effect.

“Janus Dean.”

Janus waits for the rush. He waits for the happy feeling to inundate him. He has won, everything in these past few months has been worth it. He beat Patton. He showed up Ethan. He showed this entire school that he is worth something, and that he will be someone.

So why doesn’t he feel good?

Janus puts on a smile, grabs the piece of paper with his victory speech written, and walks towards the podium.

When he gets there the lights are blinding, but he knows the entire student body is staring back at him. The only person Janus can see is Patton. Patton looks sad. Defeated. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

Janus picks up his speech to read. He’s supposed to talk about the support of the students, the support of the staff, how much this victory means to him, and how he promises to do his very best to fulfill their needs. He can’t start talking though. This isn’t right.

Then it finally hits him.

The thing he wants more than anything isn’t to win this dumb race, the thing he wants more than anything in the world is Patton. He wants to see Patton’s smile every morning. He wants to hear Patton call Janus his boyfriend. He wants to see Patton happy. He wants to have so many firsts with Patton. He wants to be able to kiss Patton whenever he wants. He wants to hold hands with Patton and call him obnoxious pet names.

He puts his speech down.

“Hey everyone.” He says, “First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their vote. It means the world to me that you would put that kind of trust in me.” Janus pauses, and stares Patton dead in the eyes, “However I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline the position.”

Whispers explode throughout the auditorium and the teachers are frozen in shock.

“I thought standing up here was the thing I wanted more than anything, but I was wrong. See, a few months ago, I was assigned to work on a history project with this guy. At the time I really hated him, he was so perfect. He was so good. Then he decided to run against me in this race and suddenly he became a problem I had to solve. Me and one of my friends decided it would be fun for me to pretend to date him, and then leak some of his secrets, showing everyone that he isn’t as perfect as he looked. It was the perfect plan. Or so I thought. I started spending more time with this guy, I tried so hard to hate him, but it was impossible. That’s how good he is. We became fast friends, and he made me better. I loved being around him, it was like waking up to a bright summer day. Loving him snuck him on me, but soon it was like breathing. I couldn’t keep collecting information on him, and so I told my friend it was over. Wrong move.” Janus took a deep breath, but he didn’t stop looking at Patton.

“He outed this guy to our entire school. I don’t know how many of you are part of the queer community, but being out is one of the worst things in the world. Everyone says it’s like ripping a bandaid off. It’s more than that. Being outed when you’re not ready is like someone stabbing a healing wound. It is so fucked up, and one of the worst things I could’ve let happen. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

Patton is shaking; Janus keeps going.

“Even worse, I heard what people were saying in the halls. I heard the slurs and the whispers and the hate, and I kept walking. I thought it would be better to keep my head down and stay in my lane, so I wouldn’t get hurt. But the truth is if we don’t demand respect, it is going to get taken from us. LGBTQ+ teenagers face a suicide rate five times that of our straight peers. We are two times as likely to be bullied for being who we are, and it really shows. This applies to everyone including myself: Do better. I should have said something.”

“Your new student body president, Patton Hart, is overqualified for the job. He is caring and honest. He sees the best in everyone, including screw-ups like me. He’s hardworking and selfless. He’ll sit with you at lunch even if he doesn’t know you. He’ll compliment your clothes and help you with your homework. He has done all of these things even when he wasn’t your president. He is the heart of this school, and no one fits the role better than him.”

Janus turns back to Patton and gives him a small smile, “Patton, I am so sorry. For everything. I know this doesn’t make up for anything that I’ve put you through, but you deserve the world.”

Janus turns back to the audience, “Thank you for your time.”

Everything is silent. And then everyone flies out of their seats, and the sound is deafening.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janus doesn’t see Patton for the rest of the day. It’s a Monday which means they don’t share any classes together. Janus doesn’t mind, he doesn’t even know if Patton wants to see him. He feels a little lighter, he isn’t drowning in the guilt anymore. It isn’t gone but it isn’t suffocating him anymore. Even if Patton never talks to him again, Janus will always know he did one good thing in his life, even if it’s infinitesimal compared to all the bad.

Around 6:30 that night Janus’ phone buzzes.

When he checks his phone, he has one text from Patton, and Janus forgets how to breathe.

Patton Hart, 6:31 pm: did you mean what you said.

Janus Lyre, 6:32 pm: every word.

Patton Hart, 6:32 pm: meet me by our park.

“Yes!” Janus cheers. Patton wants to see him. Janus is going to go see Patton. Janus is going to see Patton!

Every step he takes to his car feels like he’s walking on air. When he get into his car he plays the playlist Patton made for the first time in weeks.

The speed limit on the roads is 30, but if Janus goes at 35 no one has to know.

When he gets to the bench he and Patton have hung out at, Patton is already there.

He’s wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and the blue flannel Janus gave him for his birthday. Janus knows that’s intentional, and the urge to pull Patton into a kiss is so hard to resist. He could do it, there are no people around to get in their way.

“Hey snake boy,” Patton says.

“Hey, golden boy,” Janus says, and oh how he missed this. Patton and his messy hair are inches away from him.

“Can I…” Patton trails off, but he’s looking at Janus’ lips.

“Always.”

Patton and Janus crash into each other. Patton is kissing him and his lips are warm. He tastes like cinnamon. Janus wraps his arms around Patton’s shoulders and pulls him closer, this feels so right. Janus never wants to stop kissing Patton. He wants it to be his job, Janus Dean, professional kisser of Patton Hart. It has a nice ring to it.

“That was one heck of a speech Jan,” Patton says.

Janus smirks, “Only the best for our student body president.”

Patton giggles but then becomes more serious, “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

“Only doing what’s right.”

“Still”

“You’re right Pat I did have an ulterior motive.”

“Oh?” Patton raises his eyebrows.

“I’ve always loved the sound of first lady,” Janus says seriously.

Patton pulls him in for another kiss, and Janus wonders if he’s dreaming.

“I love you.” Patton says, and his hair is frazzled and he’ out of breath but Janus is struck by just how beautiful Patton is.

“I love you too.”

Life isn’t a fairytale, Janus knows that, but this feels like his happy ever after.

a/n: thanks for reading!!!! yes, the scene where Patton yells at Janus is inspired by Love, Simon, and yes, you read that right, Solangelo did get a cameo

taglist(let me know if you want to be added/removed)

@kawaiikat54 @foreverfangirlalways @five-falseh00ds-ph0nated @kiribakuandcats

#sanders side fanfiction #moceit #moceit fanfiction #sanders sides #ts janus #ts patton #idiots to loves #angst fluff #fake dating au #high school au #angs #fluff

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and-damntheconsequences · 4 years

Text

Modern Merlin AU — With Gays and Churches

Slight CW for religious homophobia, and ofc I know that the majority of Christians are loving and beautiful people 💕

The Cast:

Uther: A firmly anti-gay pastor who is well known and mostly respected by the congregation and the community.

Ygraine: Uther's ex wife who divorced him after she found about an affair he had once had with a woman who named Vivian.

Arthur: Their son, who lives entirely with Uther and attends a religious school nearby.

Leon: Arthur's friend who also attends that school, who's parents have been going to Uther's church for years and years.

Merlin: A boy who recently joined the school after moving with his uncle, who teaches there. Also a closeted gay.

Gaius: An old friend of Uther's, a teacher at the school, and the only other person who knows about the affair.

Morgana: Uther's child from his affair with Vivian. She moves in with Uther when she's 10, since her mother can't financially support them both anymore.

Gwen: A girl at the school, who Arthur dates briefly in order to "prove" that he is straight.

Elyan: Gwen's brother, who lived with more distant family for a few years and has recently returned.

All other "round table" knights: New kids (they arrive at different times) who's parents have recently converted to Christianity and enrolled them in the school. Gwaine's family actually came from another church but he doesn't talk about that much, since he's not actually religious himself. Also Gwaine picks fights with homophobic teachers.

Kilgharrah: Either an angel, a demon, God Himself, or the school principal, I can't decide. Whichever he is, he occasionally pops up to give both Merlin and Arthur utterly useless life advice, in whatever form that takes depending on who he is. If he's somehow celestial, it's probably through sarcastic comments in dreams. If he's the school principal, he's just... That teacher that decides that stopping you in the corridor to Impart Words Of Adult Wisdom is a great use of everyone's time.

The Plot:

Uther becomes pastor at a church, and marries Ygraine. She disagrees with many of his views, but doesn't speak up about them, wanting to be a "good wife". That is, until she discovers that he once had an affair with a woman named Vivian and gave her a child. Ygraine then quietly divorces him and leaves, too afraid of making a fuss to try to get custody of Arthur. Uther tells everyone, including Arthur, that it was her choice to leave and that she willingly parted from the ways of the Lord. No one knows about the affair except him, her, and Vivian (and Gaius).

Arthur grows up with only Uther, not having many close friends, only Leon, who he's known his whole life and who's parents are also very religious. When Arthur is around 10, Vivian turns up on their doorstep, insisting that she has fallen into financial trouble, and cannot look after her child anymore. Uther takes Morgana in, insisting it was an act of charity on his behalf, and that Vivian was only an old friend. Everyone believes he is being a good samaritan, but secretly he hopes that if he "redeems" his child to the church, he may find redemption for what he did. Arthur and Morgana are the same age, and Uther begs Morgana not to tell Arthur the truth (threatening her for if she does), so he doesn't know she's his sister. They get on, mostly, but Arthur's a bit of a prat in lecturing her about God sometimes because he thinks that's how you make friends.

Anyway, a few years later, when Arthur is around 14, Merlin joins his school (they're roughly the same age here, Merlin only a few months younger.) He was sent to his uncle by his mother, since he came out to her and she didn't accept him. She wanted him to go to church and a religious school to "fix" him. He now lives with Gaius, and goes back into the closet for the time he's at school. He quickly becomes friends with Gwaine, who doesn't have many friends and is constantly in trouble for arguing with bigoted teachers.

Because he's really academic, Uther asks Gaius if it would be possible for Merlin to come round and help tutor Arthur in order to catch Arthur up with his studies, so Merlin starts coming around every Tuesday and Thursday. They slowly become friends, despite Merlin being quite rude, and Arthur having the most frustrating "holier than thou" attitude because he's the priest's son. Merlin develops a crush on him, and quickly gives up on trying to deny his sexuality to himself, but he can't tell Arthur, or anyone else.

In time, Merlin stops being so afraid of his own sexuality, and sneaks off to a pride parade and attends an LGBT group a couple of times. Gaius suspects what he might be doing, but says nothing.

When Morgana turns 16, she tells them all that she thinks she might be a lesbian. She's scared, but hopes that Uther may be understanding. Instead, he kicks her out, despite Arthur's protests that it isn't fair. She goes to live with some friends in similar situations, and over the next few months, cuts off Uther completely, changes school, and starts regularly attending LGBTQ+ events and just generally living her best lesbian life.

This makes Uther incredibly angry, and he takes it out on Arthur a lot, who starts going to Gaius and Merlin's after school to avoid him. He texts Morgana a bit, but is afraid to keep close contact with her, and still sees homosexuality as a sin. However, this whole situation has made him actually think about his own sexuality, and he's now afraid that maybe HE himself isn't totally straight. To prove that he is to himself, he asks Gwen on a date, but he can't ever truly like her, and she knows that.

At the same time, Merlin is trying to get rid of his crush on Arthur because he doesn't want to ruin that friendship, so he starts going to pride groups weekly, to meet others. He meets Will, a trans guy, and they almost date for a while, but Merlin can't commit to it because of his own feelings. Morgana happens to meet him there, and at first that interaction is a little awkward, but instead of pressuring him, she just gives him a hug, and tells him it's okay, she's learnt that now. She'll always be here for him if he needs to feel safe away from Uther/Arthur, or the school as a whole. He tells her that he hopes Arthur could be different from his father, and she says she hopes so, but she doesn't believe he would be — he seems to hate her too now. But that's okay. She's got a new family now. She's happy.

And then, eventually, Arthur comes to accept his own feelings, and Gwen does hers. He talks to Merlin about how he isn't sure if he's straight, and eventually they date, and then kiss. Gwen has a Bisexual Awakening™, and she reconnects with Morgana (they were friends before Morgana left) and they date too. Hunith (who's been having a side plot of researching things and learning and becoming a better, more accepting person) comes to stay with Gaius for a while, and tells Merlin she loves him, and will always love him no matter who he's with, and she's sorry she never said that before now.

When Arthur turns 18, his mother reaches out to him. She was too afraid to risk upsetting Uther and the church before, but she wants to know if he's okay. He's angry at her for all the years she was silent, and all the things he didn't know, and for leaving him, but in time, she tells him the truth. Morgana also tells Arthur the truth, knowing now that he doesn't blindly believe his father, and this won't tear a rift between them. Uther's affair is then revealed to the whole congregation, most of whom are appalled, and his reputation is ruined. The church gets a new pastor.

Some of the kids realise that they don't need religion to be valid and happy, and others realise that they can have both religion and love, and God can love them no matter who they are with. Both are okay, and everyone accepts everyone. They all live their best, gayest, cutest, and happiest lives.

***

Feel free to add stuff I love this concept. Also someone needs to write something like this and tag me bc I cannot write this myself — I'm incapable of managing the 3 fics I'm writing at the moment.

#merlin #merlin au #pride au #merlin pride #merlin modern au #modern merlin au #merthur #merthur au #merlin fanfic #merlin fic prompts

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aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers

https://ift.tt/3rSBEcN

It’s easy to take one look at FOX’s newest animated comedy, The Great North, and assume it’s exactly like the long running and beloved Bob’s Burgers. Two of The Great North’s creators wrote a good chunk of Bob’s Burgers episodes and the shows share a near-identical art style after all. At first glance some of the Bob’s Burgers character archetypes seem to be involved as well: awkward daughter, an odd sarcastic youngest child, and a loving, if somewhat offbeat, father. So why bother with something like Bob’s Burgers when you could just watch Bob’s Burgers?

While there are a few surface similarities, by the end of the first episode of The Great North you’ll realize there’s so much more to it than just an Alaskan set version of the Belcher family. It’s got humor all its own, unique characters, and the potential to be something that isn’t merely a rival to Bob’s Burgers but a truly unique experience.

So let’s head up north to discover all the reasons why The Great North is so wonderful. As a brief primer, the show is set in Alaska and follows the Tobin family with fisherman dad Beef, artistic daughter Judy, loveably dumb son Ham, bear-suit wearing son Moon, oldest and eager to please son Wolf, his always chipper and new to Alaska fiancé Honeybee, and Judy’s best imaginary friend Alanis Morissette…played by Alanis Morssette.

The Family’s Lack of a Mom is Refreshingly Handled

A lack of a mom is a huge trope in animation at this point (look at damn near every ‘90s Disney movie) and if there is a mom, especially in a comedy, she tends to be wacky or overly loving. The Great North puts a new twist on both of these in its very first episode.

The plot of the premiere deals with Beef struggling to get over his ex-wife years after she abandoned the family. An ex-wife isn’t anything to write home about, a single dad taking care of a family is a comedy trope in of itself, but it’s what we learn about Beef’s ex that makes this element so refreshing.

Instead of the mom just not being present or having died off screen, Beef only acts like she’s dead, a fabrication everyone goes along with to keep him sane. When he isn’t around though Judy is quick to point out the rest of the family doesn’t buy this and they never liked her much anyway. She even flat out states,

“She was a really bad mom, okay? And it was actually better when she left.”

The other kids then list off horrible things she did, like name their dog Grandma solely so, “she wouldn’t be lying when she said we were with Grandma when people asked.” She runs a blog with her “new lover” about stores that wont chase you if you shoplift. Even in her goodbye letter to Ham she just wrote, “smell you later.”

I love this so much because it replaces all the easy sentimentality of a dead or simply absent mom that comedies love and instead opens up some fantastic new storytelling opportunities. In the pilot alone it gives us deep insight into Beef, that despite how awful she was he refuses to think anything but the best of her. Why is he like that? Is it his way of not thinking about all the terrible things she did? She’s left him so broken he has to concoct an elaborate fantasy to keep himself sane. It makes you instantly love the character and while he does seemingly get over this denial in the pilot I can foresee it impacting him for the rest of the series.

It’s also so refreshing because the kids aren’t all that broken up about it. Knowing their mom was terrible helps reflect a lot of what kids go through in real life. Sometimes they just have a bad parent and there’s no deep explanation of why, they just are and it’s not great. Maybe Judy and the others are hurt by this and I’d love to see the show tackle that in the future but even if it strictly keeps this part of their characters on the comedic side of things? It’s empowering. These kids aren’t broken up by their awful mom and want her back; they’re thriving BECAUSE she isn’t around.

Nick Offerman Being Nick Offerman

Over the years Nick Offerman has perfected the deadpan and loveable character that brought him to fame in Parks and Recreation. His role as Beef isn’t a major departure from that mold but it does allow Offerman to be even warmer than his most famous character.

As Beef he’s a capable man who gets up to see the sun rise and chop wood. He loves nature so much he steals a potted plant from a mall to take better care of it. His love for his family is on full display and he often goes to absurd lengths to keep them together. Offerman brings a great charm to the role and all of the jokes he delivers are winners.

The Rural Location

Bob’s Burgers draws much inspiration from its city setting, while The Great North is set in rural Alaska. This may seem like a surface level change but once again opens up all kinds of new opportunities for stories and characters. Where the Belcher family was somewhat cynical to city life (you would be to with a landlord breathing down your neck) the Tobin family openly embraces the chilly north.

Judy sits out on the roof and talks with her imaginary best friend, Moon takes great pride in his ability to mimic a soon to be eaten cadaver laying out in the snow, and Beef specifically gets up every morning to stare in wild wonder at Alaska’s majesty while whispering “hot dog.” The whole family even delights in going to the mall, which is the kind of joy only someone living out in the middle of nowhere can truly appreciate.

The Different Character Dynamics

Even after eleven truly fantastic seasons Bob’s Burgers characters still manage to never feel stale and the team behind the show always finds new ways to play around with them. With such a rock solid cast of characters you’d think they could tackle any story imaginable but The Great North is already proving to be a home for stories that just wouldn’t work for Bob’s Burgers.

The most noticeable change is that most of the kids are older. Judy and Ham are both sixteen which opens up a lot of possibilities that couldn’t be done with the Belcher kids. They can get involved in more serious relationships, have jobs (as Judy gets in the first episode), and are able to be more autonomous from the family. Wolf, the oldest of all of them, is engaged! Imagine what could be done with a soon-to-be married couple? Honeybee herself also functions as a delighted fish out of water to Alaska, her thoughts on the Tobins’ life a needed commentary. Her outgoing personality also clashes well with Moon’s stoic nature.

The 10 Best Bob’s Burgers Episodes

By Chris Cummins

Judy and Ham also share a more loving sibling dynamic than any of the Belcher kids ever have. In Bob’s Burgers the kids don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, they’re more likely to make sarcastic quips about one other. The Great North though has Judy and Ham share a special bond, the two have a secret handshake that goes for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s really sweet and it makes me excited to see what kind of comedy can be mined from this more openly affectionate family.

Ham Is Gay And I Love Him

Ham is my favorite character so far in this show. He’s a little slow on the uptake but loves everyone in his family a lot and can even make a perfect replica of a cadaver… in the form of a cake. He also happens to be gay, a fact that is wonderfully confirmed in the first episode when he blurts out, “I AM GAY!

To which Moon responds, “we know. You’ve come out to us a bunch of times.”

Beef then adds, “we love you just the way you are, damn it!”

Ham, clearly not remembering his past comings-out, yells, “WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY!”

It’s a great scene and kicks any subtext out the door. Queer audiences don’t have to sit around guessing who COULD be queer in the show (as they’re so often forced to do with so little representation in media) there’s a character who said OUT LOUD he’s gay. He’s one of us!

Bob’s Burgers has had several one-time gay characters (Bob did refer to himself as “mostly straight” once but that was more of a gag) but getting a gay teen in the main cast is sublime. He’s also a different sort of gay teen then we’re used to in television, with a tiny “probably thinks it’s cooler than it actually is” mustache and his “not quite all there” personality. He’s not a stereotype, he’s got some obvious flaws, but he’s loveable! Sure enough, his family loves him and accepts him.

Having a gay character in the cast opens up so many story possibilities. Are there any other gay kids in this rural town? What if there’s only one and he’s forced to date him? Does he know what kind of guys he likes yet? Where do the gay kids hang out in this town?

It also must be reiterated that his family loves him and accepts him. While drama over coming out and acceptance is totally valid, I’m glad that Ham will get the chance to just be gay and his family will support him all the way. We can just see him happily (if somewhat absent-mindedly) live his life and that’s needed in a world with so little queer representation. As a pansexual man myself it’s heartwarming. I wish I had a character like Ham when I was growing up.

Alanis Morissette Is A Main Character

Yes, Alanis Morissette is in The Great North (played by the actual Alanis Morissette) but in an absolutely perfect choice she’s not the REAL Alanis Morissette, she’s Judy’s best imaginary friend who just happens to be Alanis Morissette. Judy’s artistic so it makes sense she’d look up to someone as incredible as the Canadian musical genius. As an imaginary best friend she tends to serve as a sounding board for Judy’s thoughts and gives absolutely flawless advice.

Even better though? The imaginary Alanis Morissette also only appears in the Aurora Borealis. That’s… incredible. What a way to take advantage of the show’s location!

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The Great North is a delight. It’s only been two episodes (the third one premieres February 14 and the first two are available on Hulu) but it’s already shown a lot of promise. Not in the “oh it’ll get good eventually” sense but in the “no it’s already great and I want to see more of it!” Don’t think of it as another Bob’s Burgers, just think of it as its own wonderful moose-filled show (it’s Alaska, what did you expect) and you’ll have a fantastic time. Truly, in these dark times we could all use a little help from imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette.

The post Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers appeared first on Den of Geek.

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luckycheesefoodie321 · 4 years

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I’M SORRY I KNOW KIPO AND THE AGE OF WONDERBEASTS HAS ONLY BEEN OUT LIKE A WEEK OR SO BUT WHERE IS SEASON 2 (mild spoilers)

That ending...THAT ENDING THE CLIFFHANGER THE BADASSERY YALL I NEED ANOTHER SEASON

So apparently there’s a rumour the people running the show went rogue and had a character just straight up (heh) say “I’m gay” and apparently you can’t do that and in animation it has to be all coded and implied... as a result Netflix and Dreamworks have done like no promotion and are trying to let it die...

(AGAIN: rumour rumour rumour but just in case!!!)

BUT WE CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN ESPECIALLY FOR SUCH A STUPID REASON

lemme just reiterate... there is an upfront, canonical, nothing implied, nothing coded, fully realised gay character, who also is a person of colour...who literally said “I’m gay” IN THE SHOW...AND HAS A POTENTIAL LOVE STORYLINE... and neither Netflix nor Dreamworks are capitalising on what an incredible milestone that is because when has an animated children’s show EVER!!

To further bolster how amazing this show is: all the main human characters are people of colour:

Kipo: half Asian, half African-descent

Wolf/Jolene/Wolfatha Christie the Fourth: African-descent

Benson: possibly African-descent/unknown as yet ethnic background

Some other fun things to note

It’s got the worldbuilding and character building sense of ATLA: an already established world that you are slowly learning the rules for, and how every character and groups (ATLA: nations, KIPO: packs or “species”) interact with each other... its bright and colourful but set in a post-apocalyptic future where mutated animals called mutes rule the earth while humans are forced to live underground or struggle to survive as surface people... you can sense how the individual communities have developed lives without each other... so when someone fresh like Kipo is thrust into the world, there’s a glow of amazement that people who have lived on the surface (like Wolf and Benson) have kinda lost touch with, and watching that glow peel back with each episode is very reminiscent of Jurassic Park... you start with the amazement that WOW LOOK GIANT BUNNIES WITH A MILLION EARS but oh wait no very dangerous okay time to get outta here... like even in the first ten minutes, Kipo starts singing a song about her feelings and being alone in a scary place and you think ohhhh it’s that kind of show and settle in for a song BUT THEN SHE GETS CUT OFF IMMEDIATELY BY A MUTATED BIRD TRYING TO KILL HER and you’re like oh shit did not see that coming

like Aang who was thrust into a completely different world after coming out of the ice, Kipo is forced to the surface world after living her whole life underground AND BOTH OF THEM approach this world with curiosity and amazement and enthusiasm... both of them are confronted by the terrors and stark realities of this new world however, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to see the best in everything and everyone (albeit somewhat recklessly)... and to insert another animated show for reference, Kipo also has a Steven Universe vibe about her in that she quite successfully convinces a lot of people who would otherwise consider harming her/leaving her to help her out... through the power of friendship and song! Even while she’s got all sorts of crap going on with her... Very Steven...

Then you have your hardy, tough as nails character like Wolf, who serves as a perfect foil to the star-dazzled nerd that is Kipo Oak... she’s suspicious, withdrawn, bitter and angry who shows signs of awkwardness and social anxiety from raising herself without other humans...and lemme tell ya, her backstory... OOF... very Toph Beifong and some Lapis Lazuli in there...

Benson and Dave still find the lighter side of life but are no less skilled at taking care of themselves than Wolf... and they act like the comedic foils to the ever serious Wolf and the reckless Kipo, acting as a middle ground as surface survivors who can still enjoy themselves...

If I were to use other recent animated shows: General worldbuilding and main character vibe is very reminiscent of ATLA... the simplistic storytelling set within a more epic story, and songs they sing is very Steven Universe... I suppose stylistically, very Adventure Time...

Idk what else to say I lost my train of thought but y’all should go watch Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts on Netflix and then someone hit me up so we can talk about it because I know we got a fandom and I want a season 2!!! AND I WANT TO KNOW WOLF’S REAL NAME. AND TO GET BENSON THE BOYFRIEND HE DESERVES!!!!

#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #netflix #kipo #kipo spoilers #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts spoilers #spoilers #animated shows #review #kipo review #avatar the last airbender #steven universe #dreamworks #adventure time #dreamworks kipo and the wonderbeasts #benson #dave #wolf #wolfatha christie the fourth #jolene

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theadorablespderman · 5 years

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Everything to love about Far From Home not in this order:

Literally seeing that opening with all our loved avengers that are no more.

Whitney Houston “I will always love you” made me cry because damnit Tony’s face was right THERE! NOT OK!

The blip footage was pretty damn funny not gonna lie.

Peter’s cute ass plan to tell MJ how he feels.

MJ’s favorite flower being a Black Dalia because of the murder. Literally a girl I can relate too. Murderinos for life sister. Idk but it just made her sooo relatable!

The fact that Brad is a kid grown up from the blip and that made him seem all the weirder for MJ.

Jealous Peter was so freaking amazing! Oh my gosh! That face he’d get. I’m a sucker for jealousy and they did it so good.

Making MJ this awesome character she was before but also obviously has this softer layer where she does have flaws and insecurities and she’s really sweet but also so badass. That was amazing.

The starting relationship between Peter and Beck. It was cute and so I was sad knowing that Beck was somehow going to be the villain.

Also let’s talk about how Beck is basically Syndrom from the incredibles.

That scene with Peter and Brad....the pure terror when he snapped that picture

Also seeing how big of a dick Brad is and how unhealthy jealous he was.

“Nick Fury” getting ghosted, showing up in Venice, tranquilising Ned (don’t touch him you monster) and then promptly highjacking Peters Summer trip.

Showing the emotional trama Peter is going through. The anxiety, the greiving. It was very reminiscent of Iron Man 3 when Tony suffers from PTSD after the battle of New York. I loved that they showed Peter reacting as any kid would, many adults too, which is to just try and forget anything happened but being faced with the reality every day. So well done.

Happy and May’s relationship. Enough said 😂😂

I feel cheated we didn’t see Mr delmore again.

Addressing all the problems the Blip/Snap created. High school aging, school, drinking ages, homelessness and housing issues. That’s just the start of it I’m sure but they covered those pretty well and I love that.

The technology that made Beck into Misterio was so well done. Instead of some frankly, kinda far fetched story that he came from an alternate earth (which I was willing to believe but felt it was a cop out in terms of plot and character) they showed the real world issues that superhero’s can create. The Enemies that have a real deep rooted hatred for hero because they’ve personally been betrayed or wronged by them. Because marvel has always made clear, everyone is not on the hero’s side.

Steeping Misterio’s powers in tech which is classing marvel but again, so brilliantly done in this movie. I loved the development. Because at first glance, half way through, I was thinking “wow this is really kinda weird and unexplained and too witchcraft for what marvel usually brings to the superpower backstory” I know it’s weird to say after everything marvel has done. But it seemed just a tad out there without being too hard to grasp. Which again was brilliantly done because that was the whole point.

The nod to Misterio’s helmet even when Beck was in the hologram suit watching everything play out. I guess it was his screen? But I loved the staple of even without his big over the top suit he still had the trademark helmet. Great costume design.

Peter’s soft gazes towards MJ. Nearly gave me a cavity they were so sweet! Ahhh sooo cute

Mr. Harrington’s marital problems nearly made me pee my pants....we all knew here in the fandom that shit like that would half to happen but my god lol

The opera scene was sooo freakin cute and that one step Peter took when he saw Brad move in was so freaking cute and hot!

MJ running after him and finding the critical peice of information to crack the case wide open. Loved it.

Betty and Ned’s Sicily sweet romance that you knew couldn’t possibly last. They really nailed the realistic high school romance. But I still ship it.

The bus scene was epic. And when Peter knocked Flash out...god it was amazing.

Mj obviously having love eyes towards Peter same as he does for her.

THE FACT THAT HE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT NECKLACE FOR HER OH MY GOD! I CANT GET A GUY TO TEXT ME BACJ LET ALONE BUY A NECKLACE LIKE THAT WHICH PROBABALY COST A GOOD CHUNK OF CHANGE IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING AND CUTE AND TOUCHING.

All the iron man images got me feeling depressed as hell

“are you being serious because I was only like 67% sure?” That was amazing. Seeing MJ get so excited and trying to keep that hidden was awesome

The fact that she was so pleased with herself but also played it hella cool when Ned walked in and she said she figured it out. Literally that is me.

The shirtless Peter trope that we all wanted and freaking got! So freaking cute how she tried to peak at his abs. Like understandable girl.

The fucking illusions. Turning our sweet trusting Peter into a ball of mess. I was too.

God when he had to tell himself it wasn’t real but it still totally feels like it is.

Him trying to save MJ when she’s “thrown off the Eiffel Tower”

Every traumatizing thing Beck shows and tells him during the illusion. So shitty.

Seeing Tony’s grave, seeing iron man come out. That was awful and we all felt it in the movie because we’ve lost him too. We could FEEL that slap same as Peter.

Beck telling Peter that Tony’s death was his fault. I was abouta hurl myself at the movie screen.

Every illusion done in a way that just when you think it’s over, it’s never stopped. You forget what’s real and you feel trapped in it same as Peter does.

WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THE TRAIN!!!!!!!!!! Nearly had a damn heart attack!!!! My mom had to look over and ask if I was ok because I literally stopped breathing for a solid 30 seconds.

Showing gradually just how insane and evil Misterio was.

HAPPY BEING CONCERNED FOR PETER! LIKE SINCERELY AND HONESTLY CONCERNED! It’s good to know he’s got Happy to take care of him and May but that Peter still has a father type figure he can count on after Tony. Because you know Tony wouldn’t have put up with any of that getting hit by a train shit.

Also where the hell was Karen? We missed her. We got Edith but Karen wouldn’t have let Misterio take her over. WHERE WAS KAREN!!

Peter crying and needing to know Happy was real. Broke me heart

That hug between them was so sweet and you can see the concern on Happy’s face

Happy and Peter opening up to each other was so awesome considering their relationship in Homecoming.

ALL THE TONY and PETER PARRELLS! All of them!!!!!!!!! Not the people saying “Spider-Man’s the next Ironman” no the actual hints and glimpses at how similar him and tony actually are. The hologram gauntlet shot, a straight parallel to Iron Man when Tony is building his first real suit. Obviously “Back in Black” by Led Zeplen (formally known as AC/DC) playing. Another obvious hint toward Tony. The Stark sunglasses. Peter falling with the parachute and it literally looks like Ironman with his jet stream behind him from a distance. There’s so much more I’ll do a whole other post on.

Of course: “I love Led Zeplin!” Hahaha it’s such a kid thing to say! I’ve said it before I knew the big differences between AC/DC and Led Zeplin. It was so freaking perfect.

Peter making his suit and Happy’s face. Bittersweet and I live for the affection he holds for Peter now.

The Netherlands Holding cell...must I say more?

Brad’s downfall and MJs amazing comment about him taking pictures of people in the bathroom. Ep-ic. Even flash was like “bro that’s so weird”

Mr. witchcraft was hilarious and I loved his aside with Brad “I’m gonna be the cool teacher and tell you you can’t do that anymore.”

Flash is definately Gay or Bi and I’m so here for it. That wink he makes to Peter proves it.

All the near death truths in the vault of the tower.

MJ BADDASS COMES SWINGING WITH THE MACE AND IT WAS LEGINDARY OH MY GOD! YES GIRL! She’s my idol I love her so much.

Peter and his “Peter Tingle” And while we’re on the subject the banana he gets to the face while packing.

Important. His amazing skills at the end trusting his instincts (which is great because May says in regards to MJ, but it applies to this too) May tells Peter to trust his instincts and don’t think too much. And that’s what he does when he defeats Beck.

The bad ass “you can’t fool me anymore” after redirecting the gun away from his head at the end. Literally was so intense and well done.

Peter and MJ’s kisses! I loved how awkward it was at first and the slightly less awkward one. They really accurately captured the awkwardness of teenagers in love. Like that’s what it’s like guys.

Show me MJ’s parents you cowards, or show me something. Anything. I just want to know the nature of the situation.

Ned and Betty’s breakup. So funny and honestly not surprising at all. But still I ship them.

The hand hold. So cute.

May and Peter still being the cutest aunt and nephew duo there ever was.

I totally thought Peter was going to end with telling the world he was spiderman....BUT SOME OTHER ASSHOLES DID IT FOR HIM AND MADE HIM INTO A VILLAN AND IM PISSED. LOOKING AT YOU MR JAMESON YOU PEICE OF SHIT.

The movie ended and I have no idea what’s next.

Mid credit of MJ swinging through New York. Home girl doesn’t like and neither do I. Looks full on terrifying we don’t blame you hun.

After credit where the skrulls have been playing Maria and Nick fury for the whole movie. Honestly it made more sense because Nick fury seemed just a bit off. ALSO WHERE IS THE REAL NICK FURY at and I’m so psyched to see where this new movies are gonna go!

Alright that all for now folks!!!! Everything about the movie was great!!! I will have to watch again ad see if anything more pops up. Sorry for any spelling errors I’m on my phone.

#peter parker #marvel #spiderman #mcu #michelle jones #spideychelle #spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #avengers #tony stark #ned leeds #spiderman far from home #spider man: far from home #far from home spoilers #spoilers

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vanilla107 · 4 years

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In Another Time

Pairing: Luke/Alex, hints of Julie/Luke and Willie/Alex

Words: 3122

Themes: Hurt/comfort, mentions of homophobia, angst with a happy ending, from pining to getting together, breaking up and dying to eventually finding peace.

“One last kiss?” Alex asked, hoping the guitarist would indulge him one last time before they ended things for good.

Luke nodded and leaned in, capturing Alex’s lips in a searing kiss, leaving the drummer wanting more but a bitter reminder of what he couldn’t have.

Read on AO3

The Summer of 1994

It was 1994, and Alex had been 16 when he had come out to Luke, Bobby and Reggie.

None of them were shocked because Alex was Alex and he was an amazing friend, an excellent drummer and being gay didn’t change anything, but Luke didn’t expect to start liking his best friend a year later, yet he couldn’t help but shrug at the thought.

Since Alex’s coming out, the blonde smiled more and was one of the most radiant people in the room when they had practice. Alex was talented, beautiful and had seen the worst of Luke and after running out on his parents to pursue a career with Sunset Curve, he had cried into the drummer’s shoulder multiple times.

Alex had seen him at his best and his worst and Luke liked that he was still there. Still there to snap him out of his funk, to nod his head to an unfinished melody, to smile at a dumb joke and…and Luke hadn’t realized he was pining so hard for him.

It made him nervous at the thought that he liked one of his best friends who happened to be in the same band as him. He couldn’t bear the thought of telling Reggie or Bobby because, despite them being chill with Alex, he still needed time to sort through his emotions.

Was he straight? Was he gay? He couldn’t be gay because he knew he liked girls too but what did that mean? He vaguely remembered the word bisexual being thrown around in the corridors at school, but that didn’t answer his question. Did he like Alex because they were friends and he felt so comfortable around him?

It was confusing to say the least but he knew one thing for sure: that he liked Alex and wanted to see where it would go. It was a risk but he was determined to not let a simple confession ruin his friendship with him or risk breaking up the band.

It was after band practice, once Reggie and Bobby had left, that Luke plucked up the courage to ask him.

“Hey Alex. You played really well today!” he grinned, and Alex smiled warmly.

“Thanks dude. Gotta make sure we’re ready for that big gig! Next up the Orpheum and then our dreams will come true!”

Luke watched Alex dance his awful ballet dance across the room and he chuckled before shaking his hands and placing his guitar down.

“Yeah…it’s finally falling into place, but I wanted to ask you something.”

Alex stopped dancing and looked at him seriously.

“Oh? Is this because I was off in one of the songs because to be honest, I’m not having the best vocal day-”

“No Alex. It has nothing to do with your voice,” Luke chuckled.

“Okay then…what is it?”

Luke took a deep breath and looked into Alex’s eyes.

“I’m going to just go for this and say…I like you Alex and I…I want to go on a date with you.”

The drummer stared at him for a minute before taking a step back and running a hand through his hair in disbelief. He was quiet for too long and Luke could feel the nerves setting it in.

Crap…maybe this was a bad idea.

“Okay, you’re not saying anything and if this is making you uncomfortable, we can pretend this never happened-”

“-I…this isn’t some prank? Because it’s not funny but…No…you wouldn’t do something like this…”

Luke noticed that Alex’s voice trembled, like he was scared of the possibility that this was some cruel joke. He clenched his jaw and took a step forward, taking Alex’s hands in his and squeezing softly.

“I’m being serious. I like you and want to go on a date.”

“You like me?” Alex asked incredulously.

“What’s not to like?” Luke laughed at the cheesy comment but noticed that Alex seemed more anxious than happy.

Alex’s heart was pounding hard in his chest. It’s not that he didn’t like Luke, but more because he had always been afraid to let his budding feelings disrupt his friendship. He was close with his bandmates and he never wanted to cross a line. He knew that they were all accepting of him but the last thing he wanted was for their band to break up because of something that could’ve been avoided.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” Alex murmured, letting go of Luke’s hands, before sitting down on the couch, his head in his hands.

Luke swallowed uneasily and sat down next to him before slowly putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“If this is too much then-”

“No! It’s just…overwhelming. I’m happy you like me Luke. Over the freaking moon happy…but what if things don’t work out? What if there’s awkwardness? I don’t want the band to fall apart if this doesn’t work out-”

“Okay woah!” Luke interrupted and placed his cupped Alex’s face in his hands, “I get it. We’re good friends already and we don’t want to ruin it and I’m not asking you to start going on dates every Friday night or pressure you into something you’re not ready for. I just want to spend more time with you, and we can take it slowly. Super slow, like a snail if you want.”

Alex closed his eyes before opening them and seeing Luke’s clear blue eyes.

“Slow like a snail?” he asked softly, and Luke smiled before removing his hands from Alex’s face to lifting his hands to his lips and kissing Alex’s knuckles gently.

“Super slow like a snail,” he repeated.

They spent the rest of the afternoon laughing at failed lyrics from Luke’s songbook and eating leftover pizza.

Alex wasn’t sure if that counted as a first date, but he was happy and if it did, it was perfect.

~~~

Six months later

Luke hummed softly under his breath as he fiddled with a chord on his guitar.

It was a cool evening, and Reggie had just gone out to get them dinner, but Luke knew deep down that the bass player would take at least an hour to get their food. Reggie, the charismatic guy he was, would probably spend most of that time flirting up a storm with the other customers.

He chuckled at the thought and nodded as the melody began to come together before pausing to look over the lyrics he had written. While editing some of the lyrics, Luke started singing softly, trying to see where he could improve on the tempo, when the door opened with a bang and he looked up in shock.

There stood Alex, beautiful and sensitive Alex, Sunset Curve’s drummer and-

Luke froze when he realized that there were tears running down Alex’s cheeks and he immediately put his guitar down and ran to him, his gut squeezing in worry.

“Alex…what…did something happen?”

“I…” Alex couldn’t speak before dissolving into sobs, his hands coming up to his face.

Luke led him to the couch and pulled him into a hug while the boy cried.

For once Luke was grateful that Reggie was a massive flirt because this was serious and though he loved the guy, Reggie had always been more of the jokester even in serious situations.

Once the sobs subsided, Alex looked up, his eyes red and face slightly puffy, and Luke brushed away the tears.

“Alex…what happened?”

“I…I told my parents I’m gay and…and they-”

Alex started crying again and buried his head into Luke’s shoulder and Luke felt his heart break.

He didn’t need to know how Alex’s parents reacted because the drummer’s reaction was enough.

“Did they kick you out?” he whispered.

“No…they started saying things like ‘I haven’t found the right person’ and when I told them that I know for a fact that I’m not attracted to women…it got so bad Luke.”

The blonde looked like he was going to cry again, and Luke rubbed his back soothingly.

“They started talking about seeing a therapist like something’s wrong with me and…and what if there is? What if I’m just messed up in the head-?”

Luke’s concern subsided and was replaced with rage. How dare Alex’s parents say that? There was nothing wrong with the beautiful person next to him.

“You’re not messed up in the head Alex. You are incredible and just because you like men doesn’t make you any less of a person, I promise . I’m sorry your parents said those things.”

Alex sighed and fidgeted with his hands.

“I didn’t tell them about us. Their initial reaction was enough,” he whispered, and Luke nodded.

“They don’t need to know,” he said as he rubbed Alex’s back.

They were quiet for a while, Alex listening to Luke’s heartbeat and Luke gently running a hand through the drummer’s hair. Alex sat up, his eyes red and he sighed before looking at Luke, his expression pained.

“Luke…please don’t take this the wrong way but…but I think we should…stop this.”

It was as if all the air was sucked out of the room. Luke bit his tongue hard to stop himself from yelling.

Why? Why do you have to suffer to make your parents happy? What happened to your happiness Alex?

“I don’t want to break up with you. It’s just that…that I don’t know about this and what my parents are going to do once I go home this evening and I can’t risk being forced to leave the band. It just feels like there’s too many variables-”

Luke shook his head before clasping the drummer’s hands in his and looked into his eyes.

“I understand. You’re upset and your parents play a huge role in your life. I don’t want this relationship to be a center of conflict for you. I mean…you know my relationship with my parents.”

“Unsaid Emily.”

“Yeah…exactly. And I while I regret running out on them…being gay is who you are. You can’t change yourself and if your parents don’t like that then Reggie, Bobby and I are your new family.”

Alex hugged the guitarist hard and cried into his shoulder for the third time that night.

They sat there in silence before Luke turned to face him.

“So what are you going to tell your parents?” Luke asked and Alex sighed.

“I don’t know yet. The truth is out there and I denied that I was into girls at least five times before running out…but for now I’ll just deal with it. I know they love me…I hope they do.”

Alex’s response crushed Luke and he hesitantly intertwined his hands with Alex’s.

“One last kiss?” Alex asked, hoping the guitarist would indulge him one last time before they ended things for good.

Luke nodded and leaned in, capturing Alex’s lips in a searing kiss, leaving the drummer wanting more but a bitter reminder of what he couldn’t have.

~~~

2020

Caleb’s Ghost Club

“There’s a lot to um…like here,” Willie said gazing at Alex, before leaving the table and the drummer looked at his retreating form.

He felt his heart jump as the words repeated themselves in his head and for the first time realized he could be himself. The possibility of meeting a gay skater ghost in LA after crying for 25 years, was slim but here he was and he…he loved it. Alex could be gay and proud of it and not have to hide constantly. Whether he ever saw his parents or not, he could be who he wanted to be.

He could be free.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Woah, you got a crush on Willie!” Luke grinned, and Alex looked up in surprise.

Alex wasn’t sure how to react. Luke had been the first person to love him, really love him, after he came out and even though they had a healthy relationship, he had ended things on a note he wasn’t proud of.

“What no. No, man, no. We’re just-”

“-Alex, I’m happy for you,” Luke said with a smile and Alex saw the sincerity in his eyes, and a slow smile spread across his face too.

He was about to answer when Reggie came back, upset.

“You guys are not going to believe this, but someone just told me they added a character named Jar Jar. What’s a Jar Jar?” he exclaimed.

Luke saw Caleb walk to their table but shot Alex a smile before listening to what Caleb had to say.

~~~

2020

The Studio

Luke clenched his hands into fists and opened them up again.

He was sitting on the couch and Julie had already gone to bed. Reggie was asleep in the loft and Alex had made a quick trip to see Willie.

They had just played the Orpheum, nearly died (again) and through Julie, they were no longer under Caleb’s curse and could touch each other. He didn’t understand it at all, but he liked being able to hold Julie’s hand and hold her. He wasn’t sure if that meant they were alive, but Alex had poofed out to see Willie so maybe they could only touch Julie?

He shook his head and decided to not think about it anymore when Alex poofed next to him.

“Hey, Reggie asleep?” he asked, and Luke nodded.

“How’s Willie?” he asked.

“He’s okay and Caleb doesn’t suspect a thing about him helping us.”

They collapsed into comfortable silence before Alex cleared his throat.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about…us.”

“Us?”

Luke didn’t know what on earth Alex meant. The tone sounded oddly similar to when Alex had broken up with him all those years ago but they weren’t a couple anymore so what was the deal? Had something happened with him and Willie and he wanted advice?

“Yeah…can we talk outside? I don’t want to wake Reggie.”

Luke nodded and they poofed outside. It was a warm evening and Luke leaned against the garage wall. He took in Alex’s stance and noticed he was tense.

“Alex…don’t start pacing on me. Whatever you need to tell me will be between us.”

The drummer nodded before letting out a breath.

“I want to apologize for breaking up with you 25 years ago. I was scared after I told my parents and I just didn’t want any crazier changes in my life like losing you or the band.”

Luke was surprised. He thought they left their romantic period back in 1994 and had moved on but clearly Alex didn’t feel the same.

“You don’t need to apologize Alex. I know why you did what you did. Remember I said that I didn’t want our relationship to be a point of conflict for you. It wouldn’t have been fair.”

Luke stepped back when Alex threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

“I felt guilty though! I ended things with you not because I wanted to but because I was feeling scared all the time. What if someone found out? What would happen to the band? What if someone hurt you? The AIDS crisis didn’t make it better for gay people-”

Alex felt warm tears of sadness drip down his cheeks and Luke pulled him into a hug.

“Alex…it’s okay. I’m not upset that you had to end things and you made the choice that felt right. Also…just so you know…there’s tons of research now about AIDS and it’s not an exclusive virus to gay people,” Luke said soothingly, rubbing his back.

“It’s not?”

“Yeah, it’s spread through contact of blood and I don’t know all the details, but I checked a couple days ago. I remember how scared you were about it when you saw the protests and the general reaction from the public about it, so I did some research. It’s not curable but there are people who are alive who live with it and are living decent lives. HIV is what it starts out as and then if left untreated, can lead to AIDS which is what is life threatening.”

Alex shut his eyes tight and let out a shaky breath.

Memories flashed through his mind: the newspaper articles screaming how ten more gay men died in a hospital, his dad commenting on the gay men in the street, the whispers from the teens in the corridor about how one of their classmates had contracted the ‘gay plague’.

“So much has changed now Luke…gender and sexuality is so much more open and accepting now and I finally feel free to be who I really am,” he whispered, and Luke broke off the hug before squeezing the drummer’s shoulder affectionately.

“And I’m happy that you’re happy, you know? Especially since…leading up to the Orpheum…things were a little tense with us…” Luke murmured, and Alex nodded.

“I’m sorry for hurting you Luke. I never wanted too.”

Alex broke off, his eyes tearing up again and Luke brought him back into another hug.

“It’s okay now,” Luke murmured.

They stayed like that in silence, holding each other before Alex let go, feeling a weight off his shoulders. He cleared his throat and shook his head before looking at Luke.

“So…you and Julie?” Alex grinned as he wiped away the last of his tears, and Luke smiled bashfully.

“I guess I can’t hide how I feel. I…I really like her…I just don’t know how our relationship would work. I know we can touch each other now but what if it’s only temporary?”

“Yeah the whole ‘being a ghost’ thing is a bit of a deal breaker,” Alex snorted, and Luke rolled his eyes.

“But seriously, whatever happens between you and Julie…you deserve it Luke.”

“Thanks Alex and you deserve happiness too. I’m happy you have it with Willie.”

“I know dying sucked and it feels selfish to admit this but…I like it here. I like that I have a second chance at my life where I feel free.”

“I get it Alex and it’s not selfish. You’re free and we can live our weird ghost lives rocking out with Julie and becoming the band we always wanted to be.”

Alex shot him a smile that had once made Luke's heart beat a little faster but all he felt was a swell of happiness as he wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulder and pulled him into another hug.

They spent the rest of their time gazing at the stars, their laughter floating into the night, reminiscing about their past and dreaming about their futures.

~~~~~~~

[Notes from author]

Did I really binge a musical series about a ghost band and a girl recovering from her mom's passing that hasn't been confirmed for a second season yet? Yes. Yes I did AND NETFLIX WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE US WHAT WE WANT?!

Anyway, This is my first Julie and the Phantoms fanfic and even though I ship Julie and Luke hardcore, Owen and Charlie just had to mention on live that Luke and Alex dated in the 90s and BAM this fanfic happened! I love how close Luke, Reggie and Alex are (crushing toxic masculinity) so I will most likely be writing fanfictions for them all in future but for now, to test the waters, have this baby! I did have to imagine how Alex and Luke would talk one on one as there weren't many moments in the series with one on one characters besides Luke and Julie but WHEN WE GET A SEASON TWO, I'd love to see their relationships fleshed out more!

A huge thank you to my friend, Naz, for binging this show with me last week and then beta reading this! Thank you for crying with me to Unsaid Emily, for hearing my theories and giggling at our favourite parts. <3

If you enjoyed reading this, leave a comment, reblog or a like to make me love you forever.

Stay safe everyone! vanilla107 xoxo

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfic #luke/alex #my writing #vanilla107 writes

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poppyluxe · 4 years

Text

i wanted to talk about my own experience with toni / taylor / swiftofrph / margotofrph / admin baby / quinn etc. around the time of 2013 - 2016 ( phew plz be patient with me as i’m not great w/ writing things out so i’ll try make it as clear as possible ! )

i must admit that taylor and i had a friendship that for a while i really appreciated. i cared about her a lot, which is exactly why her behaviour was so triggering and somewhat traumatising towards the end of our friendship. however, i have made a few friends through this experience that i am so fucking grateful for. i just wanted to put this out there for those who run groups and/or those who are joining groups, who want to know what kind of person she is/was, and to be wary, lest she proves that she can change her behaviour.

( tw; writing adult content with minors ) - i met taylor in a smut roleplay group when i was sixteen, so it would’ve been 2013 i think ?? there were no age restrictions in this group, as i was sixteen at the time, and my best friend, who was fourteen, was also in the group. taylor was a legal adult at the time, yet interacted with the both of us, and often pushed me to complete her ships and write heterosexual smut - mostly haylor - with her despite the fact it made me uncomfortable. i was young, anxious and eager to please, so i’d give her the ships she wanted, so that she’d give me the ones i liked in return. ( i was wrong to have been in that group but at the time i wasn’t aware of how dangerous it actually was. i was very naive at this point in my life, and due to trauma i wasn’t very good at noticing red flags. ) i don’t think i really realised until recently that she was one of the many people in the rpc who would roleplay sexual content with me being a minor, and with my characters being minors too. ( i don’t have any reason to believe that she would do such a thing now, but the fact that she didn’t find it questionable then is very strange to me. the second i turned 18, i instinctively knew that it was fucking creepy to smut with anyone younger than myself at that time. )

she’s proved herself to be incredibly ignorant over the years i knew her. at some point she was suggesting latinx names for my white characters, and pushing me to join roleplay groups that ‘would be okay with lesbian characters’. the wording of this threw me off, because even then i was under the impression that every group should be okay with LGBTQ+ characters. she also allowed a straight, cis female character into a sapphic-centric group so long as the character pretended to be gay.

she dismissed my mental illnesses, and implied that i ‘drove people away’ with the way i worded things in the ooc. she knew me for years, and knew about my intense anxiety and the social awkwardness that came along with it. ( i’ll admit i’m a little at fault here, but as an admin she should have tried to be a little more understanding, especially as someone who suffered from anxiety herself. )

she allowed bubble roleplaying and didn’t make an effort to resolve the issue. there were several times i was excluded from her group i was a part of and she did nothing to prompt people to reply to my posts or interact with me. it was very cliquey at the time, and when i brought up these issues she called me impatient and told me to ‘wait for people to reply’. the issue wasn’t people taking days to respond, it was that people weren’t replying. period. she made me feel guilty about wanting to drop my characters due to lack of interaction.

SHE ALLOWED CONSTANT HARRASSMENT + BULLYING FROM OTHER GROUP MEMBERS. this was what caused me to end the friendship with taylor. taylor had a friend join the group not long after myself who went by the name heaven. i’d plotted with heaven, and after two dead threads, i didn’t interact with them again because i was socially awkward and figured i’d annoyed them. until they interacted with a starter of mine, in which their character made an advance on mine, which mine reciprocated. days later, without having interacted with heaven again, their character was accusing mine of sexually assaulting them. from this point onward, the gossip blog was full of hate towards my character that was all very obviously from the person who went by heaven - though it wouldn’t surprise me if taylor was involved in this too. i told taylor and the other admin about this multiple times. the other admin wasn’t much help but she was definitely more sympathetic than taylor. taylor didn’t even give heaven so much as a warning, and they were allowed to continue their harassment for weeks until they got bored of bullying me and left. it didn’t last long, however. taylor then allowed this same friend to come back under a new alias. it wasn’t hard to figure out it was them, since their writing style was the same, and the second they joined the group, their character was harassing mine, and once again the gossip blog filled with hate for my character. a good deal of the messages were also subtle digs at me as a person also, which was devastating. taylor allowed this to happen. and basically implied that it was my own fault because my character had a mental illness, and it made her unlikeable. she once again let this harassment continue for weeks, maybe even months. from this point onwards, i tried to avoid dealing with taylor.

THIS WAS A TERRIBLY HORRIFYING AND TRAUMATISING ORDEAL. i have an array of mental illnesses, and she essentially allowed people to push me to a breaking point. even though she didn’t directly harm me, she was actively participating in it by allowing it to happen in a group that she was in control of.

i was so anxious to be on tumblr that making an indie was incredibly difficult for me. i was constantly worried about taylor making an indie under a different alias, and risking the chance of having to interact with her again.

while i can’t speak on her behaviour now, i can definitely speak on how she’s behaved in the past. i believe that people can change, but it certainly doesn’t seem like she’s made much of an effort to. i can only hope she learns from this experience, educates herself and treats people with a little more kindness.

#rpc #rph #time to pull up some good ol friendship trauma #i might delete this later idk depends if i regret it or not !!#tw

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writethehousedown · 4 years

Text

New sensations, sweet temptations: Chapter 2 (Crygi, jan/rock)

a/n: we’re here with chapter two and ngl this was my favoruite chapter before i even wrote it, and huge thanks to emerald for betaing all this and helping me brainstorm, catch me over @soulfulwinter if you like, enjoy the girls at summer camp!

ao3 link

“Rock, how did you know you were gay?”

It was a sudden question that made Rock jolt. Why was Jan asking? She swore Jan was straight, she’d never mentioned anything remotely gay in the years they had been friends. She tried to shake off the confusion, resolving to help her friend and not prod whatever questioning might be happening.

“Oh, you want a story time? Do you wanna come inside and listen to auntie Rock tell you a story of lesbians?”

Jan laughed, of course Rock would respond with her usual brand of endearing stupidity. It made her heart flutter. The confusion and anxiety was quickly becoming too much with all these new feelings. But she knew Rock wouldn’t question it, only trying her best to keep Jan amused and not thinking too hard about things. She was like that, and it made Jan’s head spin even more at the thought of how good her best friend truly was.

“Jannifer, I asked you a question and you’re just staring into space. Did the sun melt your brain?” Rock joked, but inwardly worried for Jan. She was acting off but it wasn’t the right time to question her about it. Not if what she thought was true. It was better to let Jan figure it out for herself and be as supportive as she could every step of the way.

The pair continued into Rock’s house, Jan trying her hardest to not seem off or raise suspicion. Rock sat across from Jan, posing herself like an old story teller ready to bestow an old legend onto some unknowing children.

“It all began many years ago, a whole 4 years ago to be exact. You remember that summer camp? It was then.”

—–

A young Rock, anxious and awkward as any kid her age would be, got dragged into a summer camp by Jan. Her parents said it would be good, they spoke so much of how it would help her to come out of her shell and make new friends. It didn’t feel like that though.

Rock didn’t fit in with her peers. She was weird and she knew it. She always had been, and few people wanted to associate with the quiet nerdy girl who only seemed to talk to one person.

Jan was everything to her though. She never judged Rock when she got excited over a cool anime she had watched recently or begged Jan to play a video game with her. If anything she encouraged it, always laughing and being excited along with Rock. Jan was different too. No one had the same energy as her. That bright bubbly infectious spirit that lit up everyone around her. How Jan wasn’t the most liked person confused Rock. She considered herself very lucky to have such a good person as her close friend though.

They had made it to the camp in one piece, Jan was ever excited and had made a friend in the 5 minutes they had been there. She introduced her new friend, a timid looking girl with bright green curls falling just above her shoulders. She stood out and yet, seemed to want to run away from anyone who looked at her the wrong way.

“Rock, this is Crystal. You two both like art and stuff, I think you’ll get along well!”

In hindsight, Jan was absolutely right. The pair got along very well and became good friends in their first year of high school, still a summer off however.

For now, the one thing they shared was the anxiety of making new friends in such an unfamiliar place. Jan being the energetic 5 year old she was and would always be had dashed off, talking to more people and just generally being the social butterfly Rock had come to rely on.

“Hi, I’m Crystal. Your friend is very…uhm friendly isn’t she.”

Rock picked up on the nervousness in the other girl’s tone. As much as she related and would rather run away than ever talk to someone, she felt an opportunity to find someone like herself in this strange place. Maybe it wouldn’t be awful if she tried to make a friend.

“Yeah, she’s super friendly.”

The awkwardness in the conversation was palpable. But Rock knew if she ran back to Jan, the blonde would question it. She wouldn’t be harsh, but any bit of disapproval from Jan would destroy her.

Rock pushed forward, trying to ignore the anxiety eating up at her, so far from her comfort zone in the first hour of the camp.

Before their conversation could continue too much further, everyone was called over and one of the camp instructors started explaining everything. He explained how everything was going to work and Rock almost zoned out before Jan lightly shoved her. That made it even harder to pay attention though, but the pair managed with similar small smiles, trying and failing to hide their amusement.

Room orders got sorted out, Rock sighed with relief upon realising she was in a decently small 4 person room with 2 people she already knew. It was to be her, Crystal, Jan and a girl called Jaida.

They got settled into the rooms soon after, with the four chatting away while putting their stuff into the room. It was mostly Jan talking to Jaida, the blonde ball of energy was as sociable as ever, clearly having already befriended her.

Despite having stayed mostly silent since they got into the room, Rock was a little bit shocked when Crystal approached her with a nervous smile.

“Hey, you brought a sketchbook with you too? Oh, I was so worried I’d be the only one and be the weird art kid. Nice to know I’m not alone.”

The stark contrast in Crystal’s attitude was jarring. She had gone from sitting alone in a corner, glancing at the girls, not daring to interject with any of them to grinning excitedly at Rock, the genuine joy in her face made the other girl feel giddy, had she made a connection with someone? She hoped so desperately.

“Well, I guess that makes two of us weird art kids!”

The loud, jovial laugh Crystal let out before regaining her grin made Jan glance over. She felt a surge of pride knowing her nervous friend was hitting it off with someone without much intervention. She wanted nothing more than for Rock to be more confident with people.

“So what kind of stuff do you draw?”

Rock smiled nervously, inwardly cringing at the question. The reaction to her art from anyone apart from Jan was rarely what she liked. Would Crystal judge her? She tried to shake it off and be proud of herself, like Jan always advised her to do. She opened the sketchbook to reveal many drawings of different characters. The intrigue on Crystal’s face eased her anxieties. The green-haired girl gestured to something, smiling even more.

“Woah that’s a really good looking Eevee! Rock, your art is so cute!” Crystal squealed in excitement, making Rock bloom in pride.

“What about you? What kind of art do you do?”

Crystal’s art was intricate. She flicked through the pages of her own sketchbook, filled with sketches and watercolours of plants, trees and general landscapes. It was stunning, Rock was in awe of the girl’s art.

Watching their conversation unfold, Jan had a huge grin. She always loved seeing Rock get excited about her art, and having someone else join her in the excitement was incredible. Jaida noticed the shift in her expression, curious as to what caused it.

“Chile, what are you doing looking at her like she’s a kid who just learnt not to burn herself?”

Stifling a laugh at Jaida’s phrasing, Jan tried to articulate a response through her giggles.

“You know, I saw her burn herself once. She was trying to cook something but didn’t wear an oven glove and burnt herself on the tray.”

Although they had known each other for all of 10 minutes, Jaida got the vibe Jan was an absolute airhead. She was extremely correct in her assumption, sighing inwardly upon realising she seemed to be the only one in the group who wasn’t off in their own world. Or jantasy as she had heard already. The puns were going to get tiring.

The girls came to bond quickly over their shared time at the camp. They’d learnt they were all going to the same high school. Crystal felt immense relief knowing she would know people going into a new school. The fear of once again being an outcast hung over her still. She couldn’t help but question if they all would become good friends or split off once they started to get to know other people.

That and her blossoming feelings for one of her campmates. It wasn’t the first time she had such feelings for a girl but it was hard to deal with. She didn’t know if the girl in question was even gay. Or even if she knew of her own sexuality. That was until one night in their room. She was half-asleep when she caught onto some quiet voices.

“Chile, you are absolutely gay for her. We’ve seen the way you look at her . It’s cute.”

The voice was Jaida, Crystal vaguely wondered who she was talking to before another, quieter voice piped up.

“Do I? I don’t know anymore. It’s so confusing. How do you even figure something like this out?”

Crystal recognised the second voice, her chest tightening at the thought of Rock talking about another girl.

“I can’t tell you what you feel. But give it some thought. If she makes you more nervous than anyone else, makes you smile like no one else does and all that other sappy stuff then it sounds like a crush. I personally think you have a crush on Crystal. But you have to figure this out for yourself. I know it isn’t easy but know we’re here for you during this? Okay?“

Crystal froze at hearing her name. Rock liked her? Or was she just hallucinating while half-asleep? She woke up fully, head spinning with what she had overheard. Could it have been a dream? She decided not to push it, and to just observe how Rock was acting.

The pink-haired girl seemed to be acting odd as the day started. She was practically attached to Jan, whispering things to her periodically. The moment she made eye contact with Crystal, she froze up. It was clear she was trying to act through the anxiety but she came off as shaky and nervous during all their conversations that day.

It sent Crystal on a journey of mixed feelings. On one hand, she seemed to be causing the same feelings Rock caused for her but she hated to be a source of confusion and anxiety for the girl. She wanted to intervene but realised it would be smarter not to. Letting Rock figure herself out before talking about anything related to her feelings.

All the confusion and anxiety built up slowly in Rock. She had a lot of long periods of thinking, trying to make it all make sense. She liked girls. It made sense. She could accept that, what was harder was her feelings for a certain green-haired art kid with the cutest smile, the squeals she let out when her art got complimented and just every little thing about her.

She had spoken to Jaida more, trying to explain her feelings with the brunette telling her that it sounded more and more like a crush the more she spoke of it.

She had yet to speak to Jan though. Jan who had been by her side for years, who was always there when needed. She was terrified as to how her best friend would react to her newfound sexuality. She knew Jan wasn’t homophobic, she had argued with the homophobic kids a lot in the past. But the paranoid thought of her having a bad reaction tore Rock up inside.

Eventually, after some days of it boiling up in her, Rock had to tell someone. She piped up in a quiet moment before they went to sleep.

“Hey, can I talk to you guys about something.”

The nerves in her voice were immediately obvious, Jan got off her bed, making her way to Rock’s side quickly. She supportively grabbed her shoulder with a wide smile that lit some much needed confidence in Rock.

“I think…”

She trailed off, anxiety flowing through her with 3 sets of eyes on her at once.

“I’m a lesbian.”

Jan’s reaction was instant. Gaining a rare serious expression, she put her hands on Rock’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes before speaking.

“Hey, Rock. No matter what you are or who you want to date. I’m always here and I’ll always support you okay? It’s nothing to be afraid of and you’re super brave for telling us.”

Rock could only try to hide her face, not wanting Jan to see the tears forming. Her emotions were at an all-time high as Jaida and Crystal came over, offering the same sentiment as Jan.

“Hey Rock. I’m proud of you for that.”

“Hey, we’re both gay weird art kids now, isn’t that cool!”

Crystal’s brand of comfort made Rock laugh, she felt lighter at the support her newfound friends gave.

“Thank you guys, so much.”

—–

“That was when I really realised and accepted myself, it’s weird, it’s been a good few years now huh?”

Jan nodded, clearly engrossed in the story. Rock couldn’t help but smile at that. Jan was always listening to whatever she said and Rock hoped it would never change.

“Oh, I remember you and Crystal. What an interesting time.” Jan smiled, wistfully reminiscing on the short-lived relationship. They had a lot in common, making a good couple. But it had ended for some reasons she still wasn’t too sure of. Although she felt slight relief, knowing Rock was single now. Not because she wanted to date her though?

Right?

“Hey, what happened with you guys anyway?”

—-

The rest of the summer passed by in a flash. The anxiety of starting in a new environment set in and shook the girls. After camp had ended, numbers had been exchanged and a group chat kept them feeling closer than ever.

They all reacted differently to the new situation. Jan was excited, always the one to shrug off her friends’ anxiety with pure optimism and eager energy. Crystal and Rock were similarly anxious, confiding in each other in the lead up. Their feelings had only complicated more since camp. Neither quite had the courage to approach the other. Although Crystal knew there was a high chance Rock liked her back, it was almost impossible for her to admit her own feelings to the girl.

“Hey Rock, how are you dealing with all this? I’m kinda scared. You can’t help but wonder if it’s going to go well or if you’re going to mess something and alienate yourself for the next 4 years. Oh, I’m scaring myself. It’s so spooky!”

“It do be like that sometimes.”

Crystal snickered at the deadpan response, knowing it was meant in a loving way. Rock had a habit of blanking, only replying with things that somewhat made sense but made people question her. Although she had seen Jan poke fun of Rock for it, Crystal found it adorable. It was part of her unique charm.

“Crystal. Seriously though. You don’t need to worry yourself so much. You’re great, funny, nice, talented, uniquely yourself and one of the prettiest girls i’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Everyone’s going to love you and if they don’t then they’re really stupid and you’re better off without them.”

Whatever daze Rock had been in shifted quickly. Her serious face and voice was a strange transition from her normally chaotic and sweet demeanor. It was obvious to Crystal that it was all very heartfelt though. Her chest tightened, much like it did when she first overheard the conversation between Rock and Jaida at camp.

“Rock, you’re so sweet. But you’re making it sound like you have a crush on me .”

Although her tone was lighthearted and fun as ever, Rock froze at Crystal’s words. How did she know? She desperately wanted to shake it off, joke back with the cute green-haired girl and act like it was just banter between good friends. But part of her wanted to let it out. Express her feelings even if she got shot down. It was worth a try. But the fear was paralysing.

Crystal noticed the conflict in Rock’s expression. Her heart hammered as she blurted something before thinking.

“I like you more than a friend.”

She spoke fast, but Rock knew what she heard. It snapped her out of her conflict, soon stammering out a confession of her own.

“Crystal. I….you…” she paused to gather herself. “I like you like that too.”

—

“Honestly? I think it was Gigi. Not intentionally or anything but you know she was attached to Crystal the moment they met. Also we really did just work better as friends in the end. It’s not like it was too bad or anything. If anything we came out better friends. Plus I don’t think I would’ve wanted to be on the receiving end or the target of a jealous Gigi.”

Jan nodded, in hindsight they did make better friends. She couldn’t complain about Rock being single though. It made her heart feel somewhat lighter knowing she had a shot.

Wait what?

She wanted a shot with Rock? No? Maybe? Of course she did. They worked so well together. They understood each other. Rock was the one person Jan felt the most comfortable with but she wanted more. The realisation hit her like a truck.

She was gay for Rock.

#rpdr fanfiction #crygi #crystal methyd/rock m sakura #jan sport/rock m sakura #jan sport #rock m sakura #jaida essence hall #crystal methyd #new sensations sweet temptations #winter #fluff #lesbian au #high school au #concrit welcome #summer lovin' 2020 #day 2: camp #submission

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yououghtaknow · 3 years

Note

18 and 20 for the meta asks? also I already commented on clip 3 but fr this clip was so good that was such a good execution of that scene and s5 has been so good and literally brightens my day thank u 💛 i hope you’re doing well

hi, thank you so much!!!!!!!! i hope you’re doing well too <3 <3

i am putting a read more because i am a rambley person, but underneath you will find talks of unused plot points, the parallels between the girl squad and the lad squad, and what taylor swift album(s) i believe each season has the vibe of.

tw for discussion of abuse, mental health problems, addiction and eating disorders

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

skam brighton has. so many aus. because it itself is an au of an original work. me and two of my great writing friends have written a great numbers of aus including but not limited to riordian-verse, glee, doctor who, rwrb, trc, a murder mystery au, and many aus based on comfort media of mine that i started on never finished (house of anubis, barbie movies, etc.). and many of them are unironically so good???? @fingersmithbysarahwaters and @nightwing642 are incredibly talented screenwriters. but also i did write a screenplay adaptations of the first two books in the raven cycle series and 2/3s of rwrb for no reason other than fun and autism.

as for skam brighton. oh boy. not many plot points have been changed, but some certain scenes/character moments were changed. for example, the scene in season 2 episode 8 where liz has a meltdown at the shopping centre and she has a heart to heart with mary was originally liz having a meltdown and running into al in the sensory room. but i wanted to hold back on revealing al as a main character until season 3.

also in the og season 3, jake and al didn’t break up. as i was finishing the season, i was getting ideas for how i wanted the series to develop (james’s crush on al namely) so i thought it would be good for both of their developments for them not to end up together. also in season 3 i hadn’t planned for jake to move house originally, so there was a scene in the finale episode of the lad squad hanging out, but it got cut because it just didn’t make sense.

in season 4, al and bree were a lot meaner to each other originally, because i love it when it gets busy at the brighton and the gay people get mean, but then i thought about it and decided it was out of character for both of them to be downright cruel. al and bree also had a scene in season 4 that was cut due to just not making sense.

also, in season 5, the “inner white girl” scene originally wasn’t in the show at all, but one day i was listening to the song, and about a week before the episode came out, i wrote it. also, bree wasn’t written to be a she/they until literally the day of putting the clip out because i thought it would be cool. that’s it :)

also the way i write is that i write the full clip out in a google doc and then edit it in ao3 about an hour before i put it out, so a lot of changes happen there. just small things, like making dialogue flow better, changing certain songs because i just want to, and sometimes adding in new sequences that i just thought of.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

oh!!!! there!!!!! is!!!!!

personally, my favourite thing to write is little symbolic moments that make me happy because i play 4d chess in my head with myself every time i write.

before i go off, i must say, so many hints and clues have been dropped for season six so far. season six has been my favourite season to write and i’m already planning a spin-off project based on it to write, and it’s gonna be starting sooner than you think.

so a piece of writing i’ve been thinking about lately is the parallels between the girl squad and the lad squad. before i begin to go off, these are the characters i think parallel each other the most.

jake - sandy james - bree nick - rori theo - esther al - liz

jake and sandy is quite an obvious parallel to draw - both are football players, both begin the series closeted and having a close relationship with bryan - but their personalities are quite similar. both of them are closer with their mother than their father, both use their relationships as a method of protection, and both are afraid of of societal rejection at the beginning of the series. they also both discovered their sexualities and mental health issues over the course of their seasons, and both of their love interests are more outgoing theatre kids. jake and sandy’s relationship is also so interesting to me - because they start as very awkward friends, and jake tries to help sandy by making bryan break up with her, but outs her in the process, and sandy doesn’t want to forgive him. she takes her time and comes to terms with it on her own and decides to forgive him because sandy’s just a sweetheart - and this also parallels the way jake takes his time to forgive his mother. also, in their friend groups, they’re both the newcomer to them, and we get the introductions to the group dynamics in their seasons, and in the later seasons, they’re both a lot more relaxed as they’re in recovery <3

james and bree are also very similar characters. both have problems with substance abuse, both have promiscuous reputations, both have both mommy and daddy issues. they are both dean girls, to put it in spn terms. they’re both very funny, and use humour to cover up their struggles. both are dealing with a lot of mental illness and, throughout the series, it becomes more and more clear. they’re also both seen as “the hot ones” of their groups, with a lot of the characters canonically having small crushes on them (liz, rori and nick with james; rori, esther and annabell with bree). they’ve also both canonically hooked up with sophie. which i just think is fun. they also played mimi and roger together, which i think shows their parallels as addicts and people (with roger struggling with recovery and depression until the end, when he begins to get help, and mimi living the high life until it all crumbles down around her). they also share a want for independence and both are very sana-esque characters (james being middle eastern and religious, bree being the cool rebel girl in season 1).

nick and rori are both the “fun friend”. they’re both comedic relief in the early seasons, but we do get in depth with them as the show goes on. in grease, they play james and bree’s love interests (which is ironic, as rori and bree get together and nick is in love with james), and in rent, they play angel and maureen, the two main comedic relief characters. both of them struggle to connect their asian identity with their british identity, and both struggle with how the world perceives them (nick with their gender presentation and rori with her eating disorder). they both struggle with toxic masculinity and toxic femininity and use humour to cover up their struggles.

theo and esther are similar in the fact that they’re the squad members we know the least about. they’re both jewish, they’re both the mum friend of their respective groups, they’re both autistic and they’re both quite nerdy. they’re the most grounded member of their respective groups and tend to take charge and help make decisions. they’re also both quite sarcastic and very firm in their opinions.

al and liz are parallels simply because they are both nooras and vildes. they’r eboth autistic, they’re both the odd one out in their friend groups - liz being a lot more serious than the girl squad, al being a lot more in his own little world than the lad squad. they’re both very blunt and straight forward and say whatever they’re thinking.

also just some of my favourite bits of foreshadowing: nick being bitchy to liz throughout season 2 because they’re in love with james….. al talking about his sister to jake in season 3 and whenever al talks to the girl squad, bree insults him or walks away…… in season 4 episode 1, audrey mentions bree’s cousin is pregnant and then when bree finds out the results of her pregnancy test, oh no by marina plays (i’m now becoming my own self fulfilling prophecy)....... nick and all of his gender stuff throughout the series……. just all of the character stuff with grease and rent….. also just bree and rori’s whole relationship arc because it has everything. queerbaiting. subverting expectations. musical homoeroticism. a little cheating for fun. and they were best friends. honestly bree and rori season 3 is very august by taylor swift…… you weren’t mine to lose……..

speaking of, no one asked by here’s each season of skambr and the taylor swift albums they’re most like.

season 1 - debut/fearless

bro sandy is just such a debut/fearless era person. she’s looking for her place in this world!!!!!! she has the teardrops on my guitar energy (quite literally sandy pre-canon voice i bet he’s beautiful that boy she talks about and he has everything that i have to live without about bryan and sophie)..... the fun giggly crush songs that are deeply homoerotic….. esther season 1 voice the entirety of you belong with me. like esther really made a deeper connection with sandy in one month that bryan did in years of knowing her. sandy also is the type of person to stan love story, she just thinks it’s such a fun song and she does yell the key change every time it comes on.

season 2 - speak now/lover

elizabeth!!!!! liz is the type of person who only liked old taylor and then got internalised misogyny and then got over it and loves taylor again. the story of us is canonically a liz/rori song…. yes i am still a liz/rori subtext warrior….. liz is very never grow up and dear john is a very her and james song in the fact that they both relate to it……. when they bonded over their trauma “don’t you think i was too young”...... also lover is a liz season 2 album because it’s about liz learning that love is the most important thing in the world….. liz voice i want to be defined by the things that i love. also the archer is just a skam brighton song because it is an isaac song. also i’m just gonna say it. i like me! it’s a good song when brendon urie isn’t in it, you all are just afraid of having fun. also though liz in season 5 is very better than revenge because, while her season is about unlearning your internalised prejudices, i believe she deserves to be misogynistic for 3 minutes 37 seconds.

season 3 - red

now this is controversial. this season is about depression, grief and anger, and these feelings are red. literally jake voice so you were never a saint and i loved in shades of wrong we learn to live with the pain mosaic broken hearts….. like treacherous….. holy ground….. the whole country pop vibe….. the bitchy songs mocking people’s perceptions of the singer….. 22 is a lad squad song…. also jake voice i remember it all too well but it’s about his father’s abuse and his mother’s neglect…… like the whole season is just jake getting to the point where he is at “begin again”. also i feel like jake would like red because he spent a lot of time watching taylor swift music videos as a youth both because he liked the music and had crushes on the guys in them, and he feels red is the perfect middle between the country and the pop and the indie and he just really likes being sad.

season 4 - reputation

bree big reputation holland!!!!!!!!! she has it all - the romantic drama, the hatred of men, the fucking homoeroticism. bree stans the reputation tour and they have made the entire holland-fletcher family watch it on their netflix (al fucking loved it because he’s a canon swiftie, audrey had a fun time, patrick was a little confused, but has the spirit). listen bree “i did something bad”. bree “look what you made me do”. bree and rori “new year’s day”. bree voice i swear i don’t love the drama, it loves me!!!!!!!!! like the reason the season has a lot of reputation songs and ends with daylight from lover is a metaphor for bree leaving their reputation era…. also reputation has she/they vibes

season 5 - 1989

1989 my best friend 1989!!!!!!! i am coming out here as a 1989 (deluxe) stan. it’s just a serotonin album for me and it is just so nick. the mocking songs about their reputation…… the genuinely deeply depressing homoerotic songs that have fun upbeat music…… the cars….. also clean is just such a nick song. he is in recovery, he is just so personal to me. also nick voice one night he wakes strange look on his face pauses then says you’re my best friend and you knew what it was he is in love!!!!!!! nick canonically in love with all of their best friends braxton!!!!! also nick feels like a 1989 stan because they just have those fun energies. nick WILL scream the spoken part of shake it off at the top of his lungs. also new romantic is just a skamverse song in general. also just. out of the woods. no reason for me to say it other than it’s one of my favourite songs of all time.

season 6 - folklore/evermore

no evermore is not out yet. yes i am claiming it for season 6. see taylor has said that these albums are all about telling stories/fairy tales and that’s what season 6 is about. i cannot wait until next friday when the main and my plans for the hiatus are revealed…….. genuinely i do not know how anyone perceives skam brighton so i don’t know who people think the next main is, but…… i can only describe the state of me writing this season as the various ambiguous disorder gifs.

#skam brighton #skam brighton spoilers #what's up i've been a swiftie since i was 3 fucking years old and i will be loud about it!!!!!!!!#also i do love my funny little people i play with in my head (the skambr main squad) they are my dearest friends i would do anything for the #them

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bentnotbroken1fanfiction · 4 years

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Teacher Steve/ Single Dad Billy AU

Part I

There was only one parent left to speak with after Hargrove left, and Steve had been so damn grateful for that. He'd stumbled over his words, lost his train of thought, and fidgeted way more than normal because he'd been distracted.

By Billy fucking Hargrove.

He hadn't seen the man since he'd made a huge scene and burned rubber getting the hell out of Hawkins nine years ago.

And yeah, it shouldn't be that big of a deal to see an old classmate, especially since he's a teacher in a small town now, and should probably get used to it, but with Billy it's different. Because his other classmates weren't responsible for his major sexual identity crisis at eighteen.

No, that particular award went to the blond, earring having, leather jacket wearing bastard of the past. A bastard that still looked like sin on two legs. That made him glad he was behind a desk, because he had stiffened in his pants just looking at him.

Christ.

He can't believe he's here, and that he's apparently the father of his new student. A student that was already becoming one of his favorites.

God, Nancy has been right about him all these years. Steve is such an idiot.

Rebecca Hargrove.

But like…why would he think of Billy? He'd been the last person he'd picture having a kid. He'd been super loud in the locker room about condom use, so it just…didn't occur to him.

She does have his eyes, though, now that he thinks about it. Her dark hair must be from her mom. Her mom.

He couldn't help but feel bad for the little girl, but he was also incredibly curious, because Billy had made it a point to say that he was never married to her mom. And it seemed like he may not have been around every day, so there was probably a custody agreement in place.

He wonders how he dealt with that. Losing his daughters mom and then being completely responsible for her. Must have been hard because he came back to stay with Max.

And thinking of Max. She hadn't told anyone that her brother was back in town. Well, maybe she had but none of them had told him. What would Steve had done if he ran into the guy at the grocery store or while pumping gas?

It would probably have been just as awkward as this had been, but his brain would have definitely shut the fuck down without having a safe topic to focus on.

He would have made a gigantic fool out of himself.

Shit, he might still make a fool of himself, because he's Becca's dad and Steve is her teacher so he will be interacting with him in the future for sure.

Fuck.

This is not something he can keep to himself.

So he puts his grade book and papers away and turns off the lights. Then he hurriedly locks up his classroom and books it to the other side of the school where the sixth grade band room is. He can see the yellow light through the rectangular window on the door.

Thank god Robin is still there. He needs to talk to someone about this. Like immediately.

He doesn't knock, just opens the door, "Robin! You won't believe-"

"Steve." She hisses, putting up a finger before glaring at him and returning to the phone. "Yes, of course Mrs Grant, I wouldn't mind giving her an extra lesson on Tuesdays. Uh huh. Yes. You too. Bye." She ends her conversation and then turns back to him. "Ok, what was so damn important that you had to bust in here like Batman?"

"You remember the little girl in my class I was worried about?"

"Sure." She replies, swiveling in her chair. "The new transfer, right?"

"Yeah, and you won't believe who her father is."

Robin just gives him an unimpressed look. "This is what was so urgent? Some parent?"

"No, listen. It's not just any old parent." He insists. "Her dad is Billy Hargrove."

Her eyes widen, because she knows. She'd been the sole witness to Steve's am-i-gay-or-not panic of '85. "You're kidding.."

"No, I swear. He was in my classroom a half an hour ago."

"Didn't he like go back to Cali after graduation?"

He nods. "Yeah, he did, and apparently had a kid with someone…" he trails off. "But he said Becca's mom died. That's why they are back here, and why she's been so withdrawn."

"Oh, Damn."

"Right? It's messed up."

"Yeah, it is." She agrees. "But that's not all you came in here to tell me." Sometimes Robin is so perceptive it's scary. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?" He feigns ignorance, because it's not right. He should not be thinking about how great it would feel to have that body beneath him.

"Don't play dumb, Dingus." She scoffs and throws a paper clip at him, "You know exactly what I mean."

He feels the heat rise to his face. "Don't you think it's really inappropriate to be thinking about that when I just found out his ex died?"

"Last I checked your dick didn't have a brain, therefore it wouldn't care what is socially acceptable."

Jesus.

"Ok. Ok. Fine." He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "There was…some interest there, but it's pointless to even think about it. He's straight."

"As far as you know."

"No, not as far as I know." He frowns and his hands find his hips. "He has a kid."

She shrugs, "So do a lot of closeted people."

"Why are you trying to talk me into this? Even if, by some miracle, he's not completely straight, It's unethical. He's a parent of a student in my class."

"That you've had the hots for since high school."

"So? Still doesn't make it right."

"Well, according to folks around here, what we are isn't right either." She keeps eye contact with him. "And ignoring your attraction isn't going to make it go away."

And that…"Yeah, you have a point." He hates it, but she does have a point. "But I'm still not doing anything about it."

"Fine, but when you come crawling to me a couple months from now, begging me to help you, I'm going to smile and tell you to fuck off."

"You're cruel, Robin."

Again she shrugs. "Maybe, but how else are you going to learn that I'm always right?"

He rolls his eyes. "Why am I friends with you again?"

"I know all your secrets? I'm the only other person that's come out to you? You'd be absolutely lost without me?" She smiles brightly. "Take your pick."

"I hate you." He tells her and opens the door to retreat.

"No you don't!" She calls after him, laughter in her voice.

And no. He doesn't. He could never hate her.

Especially because she's right.

There's no fucking way he'll be able to ignore his attraction.

Steve is so screwed.

Part III

#harringrove #teacher steve #single dad billy #AU #part 2

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writtenbyhappynerds · 4 years

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Fanfic 102: Unit 3, Diversity

Hello! Welcome back. This week we’re going to talk about Diversity. Beyond how to insert diversity into your writing, the nuances, and the ways you can create a believable character. The Editor and I understand how sensitive of a subject this is, and wanted to take the time to make sure the information we are doling out is inclusive and well-written and quality. There is often a lack of diversity in media and books, and often when it is included it’s shoe-horned in for brownie points. We understand that, and we want the up-and-coming writers to be better than those before them. The two most important things to remember are the following: no diversity beats terribly-done diversity, and, the way that the character is diverse is not and should never be their whole personality. We will be discussing LGBT, ableism, and race.

The LGBT community is a vibrant community with members of all shapes and sizes. The most important part when writing a character who is gay or trans is that this aspect is part of their identity but it is not their whole identity. When we discussed characterization in Fanfiction 101, we talked about not reducing side characters or members of the cast to one-note aspects of their personality. The same applies here, and a character’s sexuality or gender expression should not be at the forefront of every conversation. You shouldn’t create these characters with their sexual or gender identity being at the forefront of your mind, because you wouldn’t do that for a straight or cis character. You wouldn’t sit down to make a character with your first thought being ‘ok but they have to be cis,’ so it’s silly to do the same to a gay or trans or nonbinary character. Make them like you would any other character. What changes would be aspects of their identity, or values they hold near and dear to their heart or motivations. Those may be different than a straight character or a cis-gender character.

If you’re straight or cis and writing a gay or trans character, you need to do your research to accurately portray the character in a realistic and believable way. An example we love is Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman, who portrayed an asexual character, and Todd’s journey as he came into his own. Bojack Horseman also portrayed polyamory with Hollyhock, who was the adopted daughter of 8 dads. What we enjoyed was that Todd’s sexuality added dimension to his character. It didn’t reduce him to being the token LGBT representative, and it didn’t force him into a box where he could only focus on LGBT issues. Todd was and is so much more than that, and his sexuality is a part of his story, but it’s not the sole story.

Rick Riordan is a master of writing experiences that are not his own, and he cheated the system by basing his characters off of people he knew. This is a method that you can use. You can base your characters off of friends, public figures, etc. If you decide to not do that, googling what transgender men and women have to experience or what top surgery is isn’t enough. I would suggest looking to Youtube, where many transgender and LGBT influencers have talked about their experiences. I would suggest looking to forums, Reddit being one of them. Yahoo Answers is also a really good source. What you want is as many experiences as you can get: ones that are similar, and ones that contrast. The goal is to combine them and make your own character in a melting pot of other experiences. You owe it to not only those who read your story but yourself to do the research. You want your characters to represent the communities you do, and the ones you don’t as best you can.

Let’s move on to people of color (POC). The same rules we’ve discussed prior apply: A poorly written POC is worse than no POC (Looking at you Baljeet). In addition, that POC’s ethnicity should not be their entire personality, and if you are creating a character just to say that you have made a POC, then you have already failed. There are many issues we see when we find people of color in fanfiction. Among them are language barriers, naming, and a misinterpretation of cultural values and experiences.

Putting words in a foreign language in the middle of fanfic is very, very common. You see it everywhere. In Avengers fanfic it’s Russian or Norse. In Batman fanfic, it’s any of the languages that the Batkids speak. The writers put in these conversations that sometimes go on for pages in another language, and then add an author’s note at the bottom with the translation. This is awkward, and when you read books, this is something you never see. If you want your character to speak another language, you don’t need to actually write the other language. Putting a few sentences through Google translate doesn’t make you a better or more dedicated writer than someone who adds the tag: “she was screaming now, all her words coming out in rapid French.” Tags can be used to dictate a change in language, and I encourage you to use them. Now, there are of course exceptions to this rule, and those exceptions usually lie in food, names, and things. Calling someone a name that is in another language is fine. Describing food in another language is fine, and things are generally ok. But that’s just for you. Your characters also have to speak the language.

No one worth their salt or heritage is going to go through a moment where they start out speaking in their fluent tongue and then “forget” to switch back and forth between English and their native language. It is so incredibly unrealistic and awful and it lets the reader know someone who is not actually bilingual wrote this piece of work. When you learn two languages, here’s what really happens: you forget words. You have to stumble through words in your own language before you get to the one you need. You call things, “that thing.” You point. You sometimes say “what’s that called?” you find aspects of the second language, or even your own language stupid and you don’t want to do it. You get words mixed up and you make mistakes. That’s all okay, and that all happens, and should be written as such. One of my teachers never forgot the French word for spider because she got the shit scared out of her by one and didn’t know what to call it when she needed someone to kill it. My aunt took 3 years to learn Turkish by immersion and now can speak it fluently. You don’t even need to be fluent in every language, and many people only know a handful of words in one or a few sentences in another. That’s totally okay! If anything that’s more realistic because it’s super hard to learn a new language and speak it fluently. Don’t force your characters into a box like that. Let them make mistakes.

Culture is a huge thing when writing POC. You have to keep in mind that culture shifts, and what may have been culturally huge for one set of characters won’t be as significant for others. You want your characters to interact with their culture in a way that is realistic, and not reductive. Kelly from the Office is a great example, as she invites the office to celebrate Diwali with her. Lara Jean from To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is another example. We see her eat Korean food at home, and in the books, she still celebrates Korean holidays. Where the shift comes into play can be seen in Never Have I Ever where Devi is not as Indian as her parents, and we see her struggle with the culture. She still goes to Hindu association things, Ganesh puja, and she wears Indian clothes. However, she’s still a normal teenager out chasing boys and worrying about colleges. In Superstore the Muslim character prays 5 times a day, and still works at the grocery giant. The big takeaway is that these people have lives that include, but aren’t limited to their cultures. They aren’t reduced to stereotypes.

Naming characters is already rough. However, naming characters from a different background than you are even tougher. The Editor has a lot of anger towards Panju Weasley, from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Her exact words, as they were texted to me:

>Like Cursed Child where Ron and Padma has a kid named Panju.

>What the fuck is a Panju?

>That’s literally the dumbest name in the world

>All she had to google was Indian names.

>There are so many fucking lists.

>I dont even think it’s an actual name. Like it might be a nickname for some people but I dont think people have actually named their child panju.

As usual, the Editor is very correct. There is a simple solution to getting around what we’ll call the Panju Dilemma- a phrase which we’ll use to describe terrible naming choices of POC. In Fanfiction 101 we had an entire unit centered around naming. Nameberry.com exists, and if they don’t have it all you need to do is Google the country of origin and the sex of the OC. Sometimes you can add in the year the OC was born, to really get a feel for the time period, but that doesn’t always work. For example, in one of our stories we have a cluster of kids from Syria. When it came time to name said kids, we Googled: popular Syrian names 2003. That’s how we got our OCs: Reem, Nour, Nizar, Jano, and Stella. Naming is very important, and you owe it to your readers and your characters to do them justice, and not saddle them with a terrible name.

The final note of diversity we want to talk about is actual ability. Ableism is often overlooked in movies, shows, or books. It is something that is shoehorned in as an extra adversary for the OC or the cast, only *gasp* This time the biggest adversary is themselves. I hate that. I want to eliminate that because as someone with a disability and someone who has worked with kids with disabilities, you can absolutely write and code characters like that in so long as, and say it with me now, it is not their entire personality.

You can totes write a character with anxiety and/or depression, so long as you don’t snub these very real mental disorders that millions face on a daily basis. You also have a duty, especially with anxiety and depression, to not glorify, glamorize, or romanticize either. Do not romanticize self-harm. Do not romanticize anxiety. Do not romanticize depression. They are not cruel tricks of life that befall beautiful intelligent women. It is not “tragically beautiful.” Depression and anxiety and self-harm are not a paragraph for you to lament on while the OC gazes longingly out the window at her lover. Anxiety keeps some people from talking on the phone they’re so nervous. It gives girls panic attacks in mall food courts because they don’t know what’s going on anymore. Depression isn’t your OC watching the rain in a hoodie and sweats, it’s not showering for days on end because you can’t find the motivation to. It’s having insomnia because you can’t sleep. Self-harm is not an OC’s love interest holding their wrists and telling them to stop. It is deep pain and numbness and hurting yourself to try and feel something. It is rubbing Neosporin on your cuts and hoping they go away. It is forcing your friends to keep it a secret because you don’t want anyone to know because what if they take it away from you. These mental disorders are not yours to romanticize. They are yours to show the growth and power and strength of your characters. They are yours to use to show how trauma has affected your character and can represent normality behind mental health and emotion and talking about things like this. Even more so than girls, writing a male OC with anxiety or depression is more empowering because you are allowing a character to talk about their feelings when that isn’t seen as acceptable by their sex. If you feel you are able to take that plunge, and you can do the adequate research to represent the disorder well, go for it.

In addition to mental health, physical disabilities are often overlooked. I have a chronic illness. I have never seen in a book, movie, TV show, or fanfiction anyone with a chronic illness, let alone my chronic illness. That in of itself is a broad term, and I’ll let chronic illness mean anything from lupus and POTS to asthma and anemia. These disabilities make a character have to work harder, but hey, look at Captain America. The boy had every disability under the sun and he got out alright. No one is going to make changes for you. You have to be the change you want to see. If I want OCs with chronic illnesses, I have to write them and do them justice by not only my community but the communities that I don’t represent. Jeremy Scott’s The Ables is a great example of writing disability and using it as part of, but not a character’s entire identity. The main characters all have superpowers but are put in a class that doesn’t allow them to use said powers. This is because they are all disabled. The main character is blind and telekinetic, another can read minds but is in a wheelchair, another is a genius but has cerebral palsy. Their disabilities are a minor obstacle, but not the big bad, and that is a great way to write disability. People who live with physical disabilities or chronic illnesses have to deal with said limitations every day. To us, as time goes on it becomes less of the monster at the end of the story and more of an everyday beast. It becomes normal, and there are bigger things for us to worry about than just our disease. This speaks for every aspect of diversity we have covered in this chapter: The people with said note have to live with it every day. It is a common enemy, not the final boss. To treat it as such is to say that it is our biggest concern in life. I wish my chronic illness was my biggest concern, but I have other fish to fry.

What we have done here is not an all-inclusive list of diversity. This chapter took 2 weeks to write because the Editor and I wanted to do right by our community. Not just the communities we proudly represent but the communities we don’t. There are many more nuances and aspects to diversity that are out there, and what we have presented is our best. Yet it is still incomplete. If there is something important that you feel we have left out, we sincerely apologize. We acknowledge that what we have written here is not all-encompassing for diversity. We wanted to talk about issues that are common occurrences. However, what we have covered is not the end-all of what’s out there. We apologize for the delay, and to make up for it, our next unit Writing Children will be published at the same time as this one. We sincerely apologize for the delay.

Xoxo, Gossip Girl

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