#I fucking love those silly little space gays!

[drdemonprince]

this will sound like one of those "let men be masculine" level niche internet community brained posts, but i honestly really was embarrassed of how much i like drag for a while. in the circles that i run in, liking drag too much is seen as pretty cringey and for wealthy cis gays. like everybody knows a few cool avante garde local performers that they fuck with who run queer dance parties that are inclusive and the like, but very few people that i know will just go to a drag show at an entertainment or social engagement for their own sake. it's almost seen as a tourist thing, a normie gay thing.

but its one of the few spaces where i can actually recognize a lot of feminine men and nonbinary man-thing-girly-freaks like of the particular type that i am. leather bars are so masc and buff and im often invisible. bear bars are really nice and i do feel welcome there! but people are only feminine in their mannerisms, not presentation very often. the more explicitly gender inclusive trans/queer spaces cater to more of a wlw and adjacent crowd whose relationships to masculinity and femininity are different from mine. circuit gay bars are obviously terrible.

drag is nice. there's guys with weird little haircuts and long earrings who aren't buff and are swishy and dress interestingly but are a little uncomfortable as their regular selves and have to don alternate personas in order to be outgoing. and i even like that it's okay to be bitchy and insulting sometimes in drag world, like sometimes that is just your genuine feedback on the work someone has done and it's not the end of the world. there's lot of open conflict in the drag world that actually works out pretty alright.

it's a local nightlife scene like all the rest, its got its theater kid bullshit and egos and superficiality out the ass and so many people are trying to be famous or make money, but even to this day i forget that i can just be a really weird feminine guy until i'm around some of them and watching them prance about. i worry about how i look or am being read and then even just watching a fucking drag race episode i'll see like 9 different guys who are so fucking androgynous with their weird assymetrical self cut haircuts that they pass less than i do and they're cis men. they have bodies or faces like i do. and in the local scene it's obviously even better because you're looking at real life people. maybe i should be over it by now but im not, i need to see weird little awkward feminine guys with funny outfits playing dress up and crying and fighting with one another because they never got over their last picked in gym class baggage. its meeee i relateee. i even like that its a little toxic! we've got some issues out here, let's joke with them and make a character of them instead of pretending to be nice!!

i tend to be pretty skeptical of "representation matters!" type shit but part of that is probably because i never really feel represented. i know, boo hoo, thin white man doesnt feel depicted on screen, sounds very silly. but then i see kade gottmik on drag race and i swell with emotion and suddenly feel like who i am is POSSIBLE in this world and i realize that even with all my privileges i am starved for representation and that it does benefit you to have it. theres trans guys on screen but thats not close enough to ping that ooh!!! ahh!!! i can love myself!! radar for me. it has to be a very particular kinda person. matt bernstein makes me feel similarly

[pipthehuman]

I love Star Trek. It has everything I love--gays, autistics, and primary colors.

[bonezlyy]

I DIED 🫶🏼

I said I would be insansley active on this account but I wasn’t and forgot about it immediately

Im trying I promise you I just didn’t know what to post

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE FRIEND GROUPS

WELL THEYRE ALL ONE BIG FRIEND GROUP AND LOVE EACHOTHER EQUALLY BUT THEY HAVE SPECIFIC THINGIES

OKAY SO

THIS IS GONNA BE A WEIRD BIG INFODUMP INSTEAD OF A NORMAL LIST

Starting with Error, Geno, Sci and Night. These fucking nerds 💕 Smart guys that talk about smart guy stuff (Idk what kind of smart things because Im not smart myself but still). They’re all calm and collected people that like to sit together and read books because they’re cute and silly guys. Geno and Night talk about Space stuff while Error and Sci talk about science and tech stuff.

NUMBER 2 IS THE STARS💕

I am so obsessed with Drinkberry you can not stop me. They’re all really silly and positive people and they all kiss like muah muah muah. And btw drinkberry, afterdeath and Scifell are the only canon ships you get. Idk what the other ones are I might just make them all kiss tbh. Well actually you might get Cherrberry too who knows. BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE STARS. They just sit in on of their dorm’s and watch movies and kiss and cuddle I love them sm

NUMBER 3

I CANT TELL YOU HOW ODDLY OBSESSED I AM WITH REAPER, FELL AND PLUM BEING FRIENDS (cutely changes Lust from Hearts to Plum) THEY MET IN YEAR 7 WHEN NONE OF THEM WERE DOING SWIMMING AND IT BASICALLY WENT LIKE THIS

Teacher: Okay then so what’s your excuse today

All 3 of them at the same time by the power of gay friendship: I have tits

AND THEY JUST LOOKED AT EACHOTHER LIKE ???

And then they talked about being trans for the whole lesson, and then found out they were all bi and decided to be friends until one of them inevitably dies from alcohol poisoning 🫶🏼

I love them sm, they kiss in the best friend way that i long for

I need to get a grip girl they’re just skeletons pls

Obviously Cross, Dust, Horror, and Killer

These little heathens omg

They just create havoc wherever they go, accidental or not

This one is self explanatory tbh

AND THEN THE ART KIDS

Ink, Error, Plum, Reaper, Geno

Error and Plum are in textiles

Ink, Reaper and Geno do like regular art, idk what the word is for it but painting, drawing, charcoals and all that

Ink, Reaper and geno design and draw cool designs for Plum and Error to make as practice

ANYWAY THOSE ARE ALL I CAN THINK OF RN

I should probably start actually writing this soon

Ill post a link to the chapter when I do 💀

Help me I cant tell if my brother has a friend round or if he just randomly has a really good sound system and it sounds like theres someone in his room

Either way I cant leave my room because my social anxiety his horrendous and I will kms if I am seen 🙏🏼

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, cats, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

basic questions that i love answering

“hey what should i call you” good question. i dont really care, most of my mutuals call me arson. thats cool. bc i love arson. (clearly) but you can call me really whatever. planet names are dope as shit, but only @marcysbear gets to call me neptune. also enthu is off limits, only @terrifying-acceptance gets to call me that.

for the record: if you call me either of those names and are not either of them, that is crossing a genuine boundary of mine. you ARE NOT allowed to call me those names if you are not the designated person for that.

“ur gay” woah really i didnt know that ur like the first person ever to notice that!! (no ur not, ive known that for years)

“what type of gay” yes. the easiest way to explain it is bisexual. that being said: i use bisexual surprizingly little. i call myself lesbian and gay all the time (as in wlw and mlm).i’m polyamorous and arospec. month three of my identity crisis: uh i think the term arospec works well bc idk where the fuck i am on it but i’m definetly on this spectrum! grayromantic also works i think.

“gender????” im genderfluid. which explains the pronoun changes. im also trans, nb, genderqueer, and any of the genders and terms i need to articulate what the silly lil dudes in my head make me feel.

AUDHD :D explains why i am obsessed with space (going back to names planet names are cool and epic btw)

“do u horny post on main???” i reblog horny posts to my main but i dont normally do the original horny posting. tell me if i need to tw that btw :3

my cool and epic tags

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

the beloved - my beautiful beautiful queer platonic partner @terrifying-acceptance who i tag in a lot of shit :]

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

the last section that is mostly important for followers :]

if u wanna follow me it’d be cool if you have a banner and pfp but as long as ur like not a bot ur good.

feel free to ask questions :) this is the point at which i tell you that i love getting asks and dms. my dms are always open unless i am dead. (current status: alive at very least.) also i am in school so you are practically guaranteed to get a response not immediately. give me 12-24 hours to respond before being offended. after that it’s fair game.

I genuinely do not care and give no fucks about what you believe and how you live your life as long as you dont hurt yourself or others, you are not offended by me being very not religious/spiritual and you do not shove it down anyones throat.

I mostly do reblogs and tag them as such half the time

lastly if you interact with this post it lets me know that you read it but i’m gonna look at your profile anyway if u follow me so you don’t have to.

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

credit to @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

(order of the banners are “exclusionists fuck off”, then this user loves being a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderfluid, then non binary)

[lilmaemae]

tagged by the lovely lovely @thestrangeillusion !! you're so cool actually, and i'm glad to have learnt more about you on your own edition, ehe <33 im a few days late but here are my answers !!

do you tidy your bed

no, because i'm going to lie in it in a few hours lmao. it feels more cosy in its nest state

what's your favourite number

15! or 5? as my birthday dates, they're precious to me

what is your job

i used to work as a veterinary nurse (for the past 2 years) but i just quit!

if you could go back to school would you

... i'm going back to school in september (college lmao), for vet school, so uh,,, yes? 😂

can you parallel park

not at the moment, but in the near future i hope so!

a job you had that would surprise people

i used to sell cured meat at a branch in the airport. or the time i helped my mom's friend with her candle making workshops?

do you think aliens are real

i think that there are many things different from human-likeness that can exist. whether or not they have "intelligence" in the definition relative to humans, however.,,, i think chances are slim. i think they'd be smart in their own ways.

can you drive a manual car

close! i'm learning how to drive right now, have been learning the the month or two!

what's your guilty pleasure

reading ao3 on my light tabs. i don't use incognito because it keeps logging me out of shit, and it's way easier to keep track of the fics im reading.

tattoos

none atm, but i do wish to get either an animal/astronomy related one eventually !

favourite colour

greeeeeen and pink!

favourite type of music

i like pop/r&b? music that sounds melancholic. like day6, d.o (kyung soo), jeff satur

do you like puzzles

i've never had the space for physical ones but brain games are pretty intriguing!

any phobias

hate the fucking cockroaches 👎👎👎👎👎 genuinely, the occurance of those shits randomly in my bathroom gives me so much anxiety that i stopped washing my hair in the specific toilet

favourite childhood sport

,,, i've never exaclty done sports ngl, but i do have a brown belt in taekwondo?

do you talk to yourself

yes. it's the ✨anxiety

though on good days it's a silly narrator in my head that makes life a little more fun!

what movie(s) do you adore

ngl i'm not a huge movie girl but tangled and more recently nimona!! tangled's soundtrack is just, amazing, i adore mandy moore'a voice so much. and nimona is such a treat, especially with all the shape shifting and the gay dads.

coffee or tea?

tea! matcha lattes are so good. and green tea, hojicha, chrysanthemum tea, fruit teas, bruhh the list could go oN. for coffee, i only like mochas that are so sweet they'd make a religious coffee drinker puke. not to mention they either give me headaches or cause me to vibrate so intensely that i might as well be the flash trying to phase through solid objects.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

a zookeeper! i always knew i wanted to do something animal related, and im glad i'll be able to learn more soon.

tagging @emberfaye @mousydentist @venagrey @jez-bez @chaeul @fairlylokai @the-cookie-of-doom @awiderangeofgreen @ella-norah and anyone who wants to do this challenge!!!

[urplepurplegurgleturgle]

(FYI: ALL OF THIS IS OOC THIS IS MY OWN IRL EXPERIENCE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS AS MM!DONNIE TALKING CAUSE HE'S NOT AND THAT WOULD JUST BE. EW.)

(Also TW: slurs used jokingly, please don't take it seriously. Homophobia is gross and disgusting and it makes me wanna [REDACTED] all homophobes.)

So I've been watching the 2012 version of TMNT lately (it my first time watching btw) and.

Um.

I swear I'm not gay but. Um.

L. LEO. HE. THE GOOBER. UM. WELL- HE'S. UH.

He'skindacuteidkhe'ssillyandagoofyandsofuckingpathetichegivesmesomuchcutenessaggressionohmygod

OKOKOK SO. BEFORE YOU REBLOG THIS AND CALL ME A FAG HERE ME OUT-

I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT LIKE. I'VE ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR DORKS. YES I'M INTO TALL HOT SEXY GIRLBOSS WOMEN WHO CAN AND WILL STEP ON ME WITH THEIR LONG AND THICK LEGS BUT LIKE. SILLY PEOPLE. THE ONES WHO TRY AND ACT ALL RESPONSIBLE AND KEEP THE GANG TOGETHER AND SHIT BUT ALSO HAVE THE SQUISHIEST FACE AND A GEEKY-ASS SMILE. THOSE ONES GET ME.

I have a SERIOUS case of cuteness aggression. Like, my best friend once showed me a picture of the two new kittens they fostered and I promptly stated "they're so fucking cute I wanna violently throw them at the wall". It's a disease. So imagine how I feel whenever the gooberiest (is that a word??) characters appear on screen. I wanna grab them by the cheeks and squish them so hard their eyes pop out like those dumb plastic toys you squeeze and they make that silly noise.

And 2012 Leo Is The Goober Ever™. He tries so hard to act all cool and assertive, but when it comes down to the things he likes (*cough cough* Space Heroes *cough cough*) he becomes the most adorable thing on the planet like seriousLY WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT TO BE THAT FUCKING CUTE-

AND IT'S NOT ONLY WHEN HE'S TALKING ABOUT SPACE HEROES. THAT SCENE WHEN HE'S WITH THE LITTLE GIRL AND IS HAVING A TEA PARTY WITH. AND IN DIMENSION X WHERE HE SAW THAT LITTLE SPOTTED GLOB OF A CREATURE AND WENT "MOP MOP HEHE :DDD". HE'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE I CAN'T I WANNA REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND GRAB HIM BY THE NECK AND SHAKE HIM AROUND LIKE A BABY RATTLE AND-

Ahem. As I was saying. I swear I'm not gay but... Leo. He's something else. I physically CANNOT stop myself from smiling whenever he's on screen I am THAT obsessed with him.

(This is even funnier because Rise!Leo is actually my LEAST favorite, not because I hate him or anything I love Rise!Leo he just doesn't rank as high as the others sorry Leo fam)

I'M NOT GAY THOUGH I SWEAR I'M NOT DOWN BAD FOR 2012 LEO I JUST FIND HIM CUTE AND NICE AND SILLY AND SQUISHY AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM OH MY GOD WHY CAN'T I STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM HE'S A LITERAL FICTIONAL MAN TURTLE-

WAITWAITWAIT You know how some people headcanon that 2012 Leo is transfemme?? You know what, I'm adopting that idea. Leo is now a girl now you can suck my dick about it but he's she's female now shut up.

Huzzah now I can simp for the boy girl teenage mutant ninja turtle. HAH I'M NOT GAY YOU CAN GO LICK MY BALLLS YOU CAN'T CALL ME NO FAG WOOOOOOOOOOOO

I mean I guess I still wouldn't mind if boy Leo asked me out but I doubt he has the guts to do that

I MEAN WHAT??? HAHAHA WHO SAID THAT WASN'T ME WHAT.

[bungoustraypups]

@daught3rsofcain i made a separate post for this, btw, to respect creantzy and (try to) keep any more unnecessary fighting off of their posts, however i feel this needs to be addressed given how it caused issues over on twitter and i wanna make my stance clear as well as make it clear that this kind of comment is unacceptable

tl;dr for anyone who doesn't wanna/can't/doesn't have time to read my whole rant/already agrees with me and doesn't need to be convinced on why you should shut the fuck up if you see fanart/fanfic/other fan shit you dislike or that mildly bothers you but is otherwise harming no one online: curate your online spaces, block liberally and without question, do whatever you need to do to be comfortable, but never demand that other people bend to your will just because you personally think something is disrespectful to you

i'm gonna keep it brief: don't say this shit on someone's art.

you might think it's disrespectful and "disgusting", but that doesn't actually make it so. i implore you to do a little googling into the history of romantic jesus depictions, because if you do, you'll quickly find that people have been doing this very thing for literal centuries.

yes, they had pushback even back then, as most artists who make any kind of art esp religious art often do no matter what they're depicting, but obviously the fact that people continuously do it and that most christians either don't give a fuck or at the very least ignore it and move on.

if you were truly so incensed upon seeing silly fanart of bsd fyodor dostoevsky and a very historically inaccurate depiction of jesus christ based off of leonardo da vinci's gay lover (yes, that is where this very popular depiction of jesus comes from, while there's some debate over who exactly was the muse as leo had a few gay lovers, most people agree the depictions of white or fair-skinned jesus today that are similar to the ones da vinci made are based off of someone he was in love with whether they were in a relationship officially yet or not) you simply could have blocked OP or the post or simply ignored it, and yet you chose instead to do this, which is why i bothered responding

people threatened creantzy on twitter and sent death threats to them over this, for much the same reason as you claim to have left this thoughtless, hurtful comment. even if creantzy doesn't care and can brush it off, which is a fair and valid response, the way people online feel entitled to force everyone they interact with to only produce material they personally agree with is childish, immature, cruel, entitled, and quite frankly, shitty behavior.

it would be one thing if this artwork depicted, for example, a marginalized religious figure, but considering Christianity is not just a major global religion, but is the current dominant global religion with approximately 2.4 billion followers worldwide, and most countries have no discriminatory laws against the practice of christianity or against christians themselves, when the same cannot be said for literally every other religion on the planet right now to varying degrees (if you live in the USA, for example, we may not explicitly forbid the practice of other religions, but hate crimes are rising, especially antisemitic and islamophobic hate crimes, and the perpetrators of those crimes are largely either atheists who were formerly christian, or current christians; and almost all of our major holidays are centered around christian religious holidays, even if the marketing no longer reflects this, that doesn't make it less true)...

basically you're causing a fuss over a non-issue. my grandma is very christian and thinks this art is pretty and even though she doesn't get it, has no real issue with it considering christians themselves have been doing this for... almost since christianity began, arguably. your opinions don't dictate what people should or shouldn't post online.

block, move on, and live your life. stop harassing artists.

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 25

welcome to Space City, a City in Space

The Mines

love when star trek is a horror show

this dude is obviously gay for his boss

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY I KNOW IM MEANT TO BE TERRIFIED OF THE MONSTER OUT OF FRAME BUT ITS SO SILLY

the knowledge of the Fire Monster is gathered the same way as several celestial bodies: not by direct witness, but rather by observing its effects on its surroundings

i know spock is genuine when he says "fascinating" but he makes it sound SO sarcastic

this episode is kinda lovecraftian. i love it

"something happening in the reactor room!!!" a reaction, perhaps?

spock says dont touch chemical burns kirk. idiot.

i should add "limited time until certain death" to the bingo card

i love kirks hair

the Fire Monster does not like people

"silicon-based life"

kirk tells scotty to kiss a pipe

noooo not the red shiiiirrrrt ohhhhh nooooooo

LMFAO THE FIRE MONSTER LOOKS SO DUMB

ITS LIKE A WRITHING RED CARPET BLOB

LIKE A FUCKING SEA SLUG

LIKE THAT BUT ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A SEA TURTLE

kirk has a truly impressive ass ngl

kirk dramatically walks away from spock to give him a good look at his impressive ass

spock is sad about killing a potentially endangered species

kirk wants to keep spock safe. dude

more weird vulcan psychic powers. can we get a little exposition on this please

sooooooo much spirk flirting

HAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH THE MONSTERS SO STUPID LOOKING

HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

fire monster responds to death threats

its kinda cute actually

it may be nice <3

spock is so in love with kirk

this dudes walking around in a pink onesie. alright man

the monster has a boo-boo :(

oh those silicon orbs are eggs arent they

spock shouts "PAIN! PAIN! PAIN!"

the monster can write imperfect english

it is apparently intelligent

this episode is less lovecraft and more childrens cartoon

spock takes psychic damage

star trek says species endangerment and/or colonialism bad

these things got Lore

I KNEW IT I KNEW THEY WERE EGGS

star trek says environmental preservation good

"let us Employ the fire monsters"

mccoys got goop on his hands

spock says the fire monster is smarter than you idiots

now everyone is friends!!!

the fire monster thinks spocks ears are hot

spock is offended at kirk noticing his character arc

gayer than gay sex i keep saying this

[ultimateloserboy]

SONIC PRIME RAMBLES!!!!

SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO AHEAD!!!

(sorry if the screenshots are a bit mushy i was taking them quick)

firstly of course id like to mention these two. i love how when sonic is playing around and talking to himself, shadow just nods along. he didnt tell sonic to shut the fuck up, he just waited until he got his zoomies out. he even slightly participated! i just love how when shadow is cooled down a bit he’s actually pretty used to sonic and doesnt mind his silliness, it only makes him genuinely upset when it’s not the right time or place. and sure this also isnt the right time or place, but seeing as hes been blessed with literal gay magic i think shadow mightve given him a pass. that or shadow is never actually as pissed as he tries to be. which i also believe, because he plays around during fights. i think hes having fun too. hes just trying to ignore it in favor of the overall mission, which is completely fair and is kinda needed. without shadow sonic would have no fucking clue what to do hed just be running around spitting off cheesy one liners like an idiot, but without sonic shadow would be all alone with nobody but space rocks and his pissy attitude. sonic does provide shadow with fun, and everyone needs a little fun and positivity. sonic makes him happy and keeps him entertained but he’d never admit that. they balance each other out in such a nice way. they need each other in more ways than one in my opinion.

this leads me into my favorite thing about this show: sonic is not simply the hero. he’s not just saving the day and that’s that like he thinks. it’s much more complicated. lots of people he’s met seem to have clashing opinions or views of the world, and that’s not a bad thing! most of rouges variants want to just hand over the shard and get it over with, which wouldnt help in the long run but is A REASONABLE THING TO THINK!!! shadow was never malicious he was just pissed off and he’s RIGHT! hell, i dont even think nine is wrong either!!! hes never even seen the reality that sonic is wishing for! all of these people simply want to be happy but theyre from completely different worlds in a very VERY dangerous situation, of course theres going to be conflict amongst people who ARENT the villains! because the world doesn’t revolve around sonic and in situations like these its hard to find a middle ground between COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF PEOPLE FROM ALL AROUND THE MULTIVERSE!! i think it perfectly demonstrates how all of these people arent bad people, they simply dont view things the way sonic does and thats ok. theyre all just scared and confused and in a life or death situation. well, except for dread. that motherfuckers just crazy.

i do think nine should. maybe chill 😭😭. but i think sonic shouldve at least talked with the kid a bit more about the overall goal cuz damn. i like the parallel between shadow saying “theyre not your real friends.” and nine saying hes real. because shadow was right in a sense. nine is NOT tails. he’s REAL, sure, but hes not the real TAILS. he isnt the real tails and hes not sonics friend just because sonic knows a version of him. that doesnt mean they cant BE friends but sonic being quick to assume that nine will end up like tails was just wrong on his part. sonic was quick to assume so many things about nine because of his relation to tails, and he shouldn’t have done that. he should’ve listened to shadow. it’s all “ooo shadows such a fuckin debby downer party pooping asshole” until the universe still isnt put together and THEN people consider that yeah maybe he was a little right. harsh, but right. literally if shadow was able to go into those portals i promise you this shit wouldve been over before we even got a season two. like genuinely i feel like they keep shadow in the void simply because they need to prolong the season. and i love the content dont get me wrong but please just let him go with sonic that motherfucker really does need a babysitter. i think we need BOTH of them in the actual shatterspaces. like i said, they balance each other out. if shadow was to go on his own i honestly think he wouldnt do too good either. hed just ignore everyone else and try to get things done quickly without needing help and sure he might get a little far but eventually hed need the help and he wouldnt have it. so i think sonic and shadow together should finally be allowed to do this shit fully together so that shadow can do what he has to do and sonic can go around making friends with multiverse people and saving them from robots on the side. its a win-win people!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

i do like the fact that shadows speed is artificial so it isnt the same as sonics, or at least thats what i like to think. i know hes stuck in the void because of the chaos control he did (i think) and sonics speed might not be the only factor but i do think its interesting how they cant do the same things

but truly i think the only reason the writers are keeping them seperate is because they know damn well if they teamed up full time theyd start kissing eventually

[ragecndybars]

NGL I've been pretty steamed lately over how people feel this need to align every character they like with their own morals.

In broader fandom spaces, I see such widespread refusal to give any character a flaw which contrasts too strongly with the fan's sensibilities. Murderers are fair game, for example, because that's not something which personally impacts the fan, but someone being a little sexist, or needing to have XYZ queer identity explained to them instead of instantly recognizing and understanding the term, or even just asking a slightly insensitive question? That will suddenly get fans all up in arms accusing you of slandering the character in question.

Like, I'll write a fic or do a silly little edit where one character will say something ignorant or insensitive, or even just clearly showing that they're a little confused but they got the spirit (ie. that "His pronouns are they/them!!!" meme), and people will suddenly drop into my replies steaming out the ears because "THAT CHARACTER WOULD NOT SAY THAT!!!" As if I'm personally breaking into their house and calling them transphobic because I said their favorite character would mess up someone's pronouns by accident.

It feels very much related to the trend of taking characters and injecting them with an insane level of emotional maturity, such that they no longer resemble their initial character at all. Much has been said about fanfictions where every character talks like a therapist, but at least in those fics, it's usually just written that way because the author finds it satisfying, not because they think the characters have to be flawless communicators or else they're shitty people. At least, that's the vibe I usually get. But I feel like for at least several years, it's been completely taboo to even imply that a character might have some biases to work through -- even if said biases are clearly evident in the source material!! A character can say some truly horrific homophobic shit in their source material, but if you write a fic where they say "Dude, that's gay" suddenly you're a character assassin.

I dunno. I feel like I could tie this into a larger point about the reemerging obsession with a mythical "moral purity" and frantic disavowal of anything which taints that for fear of being seen as One Of The Bad Guys, but I think the biggest thing is just... acknowledging that characters can have flaws. Flaws that go beyond "a little obnoxious", and into the territory of "genuinely thoughtless in a way which can hurt people". Flaws which may actually make you uncomfortable, because people with those flaws may have been callous, cruel, or even outright abusive to you in real life. Those flaws can exist within fictional characters who are good and kind people, and it doesn't mean the character is being mischaracterized as shitty bigots. Because nice, good people can still have prejudices and biases -- or, hell, just be a little awkward or misspeak! (See again the "his pronouns are they/them" meme -- do we not all agree that the joke there isn't "X character is transphobic", it's "X character is trying so hard to be an ally but has no idea what they're doing"?)

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying you have to be "realistic" by writing characters you like as prejudiced or rude. If you wanna write your characters as completely accepting of every queer thing under the sun, do that! Do it regardless of "realism" or whatever the hell, and fuck anyone who tells you otherwise!!! But if someone else does examine the prejudices or rudeness of those characters, you can NOT be out here taking it personally, or extrapolating from that to decide that the author is prejudiced.

and if you can't stand to see characters you love being written as such?

block the author and move tf on with your life.

[e1dritchqueer]

All the silly mech media I've consumed so far to prepare for my beam saber game

(Ya'll I have gotten so autistic about mecha it's wild)

Okay for context I'm gonna join a Beam Saber (Narrative based mech ttrpg, it's really fucking cool) game soon and I realized that I don't know anything about mecha stuff so I decided to develop a hyperfixation (and I did!!! Luv me some gundam!!!) Anyways here's all the silly media I've gone through for both fun and research as to what "makes" the mecha genre/what the fantasy of mecha is

Underlined ones (EDIT underlines apparently don't work so I'll be putting italics and !!! next to each one I really really like) are ones I really really like and like if you're gonna play/watch anything I recommend those ones

Mobile Suit Gundam I The original Gundam series!!! Both this and the other ones are compilation films, so like yeah, some pacing stuff feels off.

Mobile Suit Gundam II

!!! Mobile Suit Gundam III !!! This one is real well done, worth going through the other two movies I think. The pacing is real tight, focuses on some fascinating ideas and themes, and yeah, I like this alot. Char and Amuro should kiss (also gahhhh frothing at the mouth at the ideas of mech rivals (and mech rivals kissing))

Titanfall 2 Is Titanfall campaign, is good

!!! War in the Pocket !!! The story about a young boy once fascinated by war and mechs until the terrifying reality of war arrives to his home. Love this one, it's real good and also a real good emotional gutpunch. Like.... yeah, I'm fond of this one

Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky This is the only one I've seen so far that I DO NOT like. Yeah the animation is good and all but it felt too voyeuristic about war in a way that did not sit well with me.

!!! 08th MS Team !!! Gundam but with Vietnam war aesthetics? Love this one love it alot, the story is real good and the backgrounds are GORGEOUS. Out of all the ones I watched this one hit the nail on the head for thematically what I was looking for. Like, it's about a pilot becoming more and more disillusion by the fact they're a soldier and seeks to escape the war, I really really like it!!!

08th MS Team: Miller's Report This is a compilation film, but a weird one, taking place between episodes six and seven, personally I think you might get some enjoyment from watching it instead of those two episodes (at least episode 8, but I'm not sure, there are some moments that I really liked from the show that were cut) but idk.

08th MS Team: Battle In Three Dimensions Short little animation, lovely :), having watched it I think Michel and Sanders should kiss???

!!! The Witch from Mercury (Watching) !!! GAY ASS MECH MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Love me some mech lesbians. But like seriously this one is real good!!! It starts off in its own universe so really good for newcomers (just need to know that there is a difference between a Gundam and a mech within the fiction of the show) I like it alot, it's high school drama with the backdrop of corporate war and space capitalism and like... it's really well done!!!

Friends at the Table: Counter/Weight (Listening) What if an actual play podcast sat down and discussed critical worldbuilding and themes, that's Friends at the Table and it rules!! This one is a more noir focused game with mechs (the system they use is literally called MechNoir) and it's essentially a group of detectives in space Berlin! Real fond of Austin Walker's stuff and Friends at the Table rule, has really inspired me as to how I can run games and what I can do as a player.

Project Nimbus (Playing) Fast mech game, fun.

!!! Heaven Will be Mine (Playing) !!! This game raises the question of what if mech rivals kissed to 11, they are also lesbians, in space, with heavy themes and symbolism, and beautiful art. I really really like this game, finished it twice, trying to 100% it but it's real good, big big big mega fave

Zeta Gundam (Watching) Sequel series to MSG, not sure how I feel about it yet but tbh I'm enjoying it, genuinely love Kamille and I love how Char is in this

!!! Umurangi Generation (Playing) !!! What if you were a photographer at the end of the world and the way the world ended specifically was Evangellion? That's essentially Umurangi Generation and it's REAL good at that, I am extremely fond of this game

Zone of the Enders: The Second Runner (Playing) Like Project Nimbus but with a better feel and also made by the some of the same people who made Metal Gear Solid and Tokimeki Memorial, fun game also all the mechs are sexy????

Phew anyways thats the stuff and my thoughts on it, mech stuff real fucking cool!!! I'm quite fond of it!!! I have so many blorbos now

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (19-25 May 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😍 Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail [pts 3-8] (owlet) - 192K total, includes main recovery fic The Long Road Begins at Home plus several shorter vignettes/episodes. My day/life/mood is always immeasurably improved by reading this series.

😊 Sorry Charlie Miller (Tanner Cohen, author; full voice cast) - Zachary Quinto is the main star of this original audio fiction in podcast format. It's a comical, catty, campy, mystery that was very entertaining. It gave me mild Hiaasen vibes and hearing ZQ play an absolute hot mess detective wannabe that's all of those above adjectives was pretty great. Much silly fun.

😍 Scents and Sensibility: The Working Assassin's Guide to Supersoldier Seduction (galwednesday, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt) - reread for Stucky Book Club and it apparently has been over 2 years since my last read, so it was about time! It's the clownfish AU and it's a classic and a legend for a reason. Another one that improves my day/life/mood every time.

💖💖 +147K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

SPELEVINK (Ginny_Potter) - MCU: stucky, 9K - cute, slightly cracky little fic feat. IKEA

like heaven stood up in you (napricot) - MCU: stucky, 9K - you had your soul with you #1 - endgame fix-it with reverse time heist - genuinely zero memory of reading these which is weird because they are so good! I fucking BOOKMARKED THEM!

find a way to forgive myself (napricot) - MCU: stucky, 34K - you had your soul with you #2 - alternate 2012 timeline created during prev story

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

That '90s Show - s1, e3-4

The Unicorn - s1, e2

Game Changer - s6, e2

The Brokenwood Mysteries - s10, e4

Smartypants - s1, e3

Um, Actually - s6, e7

D20: Misfits & Magic - "The Chosen Ones" (s10, e1)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Cluck If You Buck" (s5, e1)

Dead Boy Detectives - s1, e2-4

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Ragenarok (Part 2)" (s21, e20)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Gotta Wrap It Up" (s16, e20)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

⭐ Hit Parade - Be My Baby-Baby-Baby Edition

Re: Dracula - May 19: Surely in the Toils

Working - A Much-Needed History of Queer Women’s Spaces

Persuasion by Jane Austen - Persuasion 2. | Past Persuasions

Persuasion by Jane Austen - Persuasion 3. | The Captain's Return

The Fandom Show - The Mummy (1999)

WikiHole - Pilates (with John Early, Kate Berlant and Claudia O'Doherty)

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Ludlow Massacre Site

Persuasion by Jane Austen - Persuasion 4. | Perpetual Estrangement

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #15: Hold On Tight

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep15 "Hold On Tight"

Dinner’s on Me - George Takei

Vibe Check - I’ll Dip Into Her Dark Waters

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Does IF capture the magic of its Pixar inspiration?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - A Rogue Trip with Amir Siraj

Outward - Behind the Scenes of ‘Gays Against Briggs’ with Christina Cauterucci

Decoder Ring - Why Are We Still Using Fat Suits?

⭐ 99% Invisible #583 - The Lost Subways of North America

Wild Card - Ada Limón doesn't want all the answers

⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - A Daring Story of Freedom with Edda Fields-Black

⭐ Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - Silent Sea

Shedunnit - The A.A. Milne Mystery

History Is Sexy #87 - Janina's Top 3 Shipwrecks

Re: Dracula - May 24: It Never Rains but it Pours

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga And What's Making Us Happy

It's Been a Minute - The Real Housewife-ification of Congress; And, 25 years of being pilled by The Matrix

What Next: TBD - Scarlett Johansson vs OpenAI

Dear Prudence - My Nonreligious Boyfriend Is Meeting My Ultra-Religious Parents. Help!

Re: Dracula - May 25: Mingle Our Weeps

⭐ Slow Burn - Gays Against Briggs | 1. A Hotbed of Homosexuality

⭐ Slow Burn - Gays Against Briggs | 2. Defend Our Children

⭐ Slow Burn - Gays Against Briggs | 3. Harvey Milk vs. the Machine

⭐ Slow Burn - Gays Against Briggs | 4. You Must Come Out

⭐ Slow Burn - Gays Against Briggs | 5. Strange Bedfellows

Under the Influence - Die Another Day: Reviving Old Commercials

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

'80s Pop Party

Presenting Bonnie Raitt

Billy Joel

Rock Radio • 1970s

my Feel Good Supermix

[nunalyan]

It's just a bad moment.

@minzart twst Oc - Will.

My own twst oc - Lyan.

Just a silly scenario bc I'm gay and sad and I love minzi with all my heart.

The two characters use all pronouns, I mixed it because YES-

- - -

A soft cry can be heard inside one of the rooms of the Ramshackle Dorm, a tired and continuous cry, almost like a newborn baby.

"I... I can't... This is hard... This hurts me so much... My heart hurts..."

"Shhh... I know, I understand it very well..."

Inside the room, the two magicless humans are sitting on the ruined floor, hugging each other in a warm embrace, trying to rid themselves of some unknown pain inside their own hearts. Will was trying their best to bring their friend some comfort, but Lyan looks so hurt and sick of everything that it makes him wonder if their affection was actually helping somehow.

"Why is this happening to us...? Why...? I miss my dad, I miss him so much... The people here aren't bad, but I am exhausted of battles and screams and those damn magical things!"

"Lyan... There's no other one who understands you better than me about this topic, I swear. I know what you're feeling, I understand your pain... But hey, we need to do our best..."

"We need to do our best?! We almost die everyday! YOU almost die everyday! Look at your scars Will! Look at my face! I... I am so scared of lose you too..."

At that moment, not even Will can stop herself from letting the tears roll down her face, tightening the hug even more. They stroke Lyan's hair, but this makes the poor student cry more. The two hide their faces on each other's neck, leaving the area slightly wet with tears of sadness and despair.

"I would never leave you, ever. Those things are nothing compared to what I experienced before. I would be happy to have thousands of scars if it meant that I would continue living with you and the others here... Besides, I need you here too..."

"Me? A useless piece of shit who can't even help when my friend is having an overblot? Oh sure, everyone needs me, of course."

"I already told you to not talk like that. Lyan, you can't see it but we can. You're such a wonderful person, you try to help us even when everything goes wrong! You help me just with your presence! Do you even know how broke I am inside? It hurts me too, but at least I have you! You're the same as me, you need and DESERVE love and care, and... And you make me feel at home, Lyan..."

The tears are getting strong on both sides, the grip getting tighter and tighter as the warm embrace almost hurts them. This is a difficult situation, not only for Lyan or Will, but for the two of them. Lyan softens the grip more, and comes face to face with his friend.

"My eye hurts, Will... I am tired, sick of it... My presence is nothing wonderful to have. I do everything wrong, I can't even help you when you need it. I am just wasting your time..."

"Liar. Don't you see, Lyan? You're helping me now. You're here with me! And that's what makes me feel better! And YES you help me with the overblots, but fuck them! You help me even when you're silent by my side, you help me when you stroke my hair with your soft hand, you help me when you make stupid jokes and puns about anything! Or when you listen to me speaking about some hyperfixation I've had for more than two hours! Believe me, 90% of people stop listen to me when I talk about Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts, BUT YOU'RE THE LOVELY AND ADORABLE IDIOT WHO LISTENS AND EVEN ASKS QUESTIONS! AND GIRL TRUST ME, THIS EYEPATCH MAKES YOU FINE AS HELL OKAY?!"

For a brief moment, Lyan feels his own face heat up a little before laughing at Will's comment. They slowly stop their desperate crying, resting their heads on each other's shoulders, sobbing a little. The silence start to fill the space between them, but it's comfortable, it's warm, like the hug of a mother.

"... Thank you..."

"No need to thank me, it's just the truth."

"No, about... Everything, Will. I'm glad to have you by my side. I also... Feel at home with you. And your scars makes you look fine as hell too."

The laugh that comes out from them is sincere, both the idiots blushing more at their own words. Will stands up, offering his hand to Lyan, who grabs it quickly and stand up too. They quietly walk together, holding hands, with a calm and soft smile after so much painful tears.

"Ice cream?"

"... Ice cream."

"Oh, and... Please, don't talk like that about yourself. That's my best friend you're talking about."

[monstersinthecosmos]

this is such a silly question but... how old do you envision keith to be in ttsr!? i think about this fic all day every day to the point where i'm like filling in the gaps in my head and reconstructing his entire life before meeting shiro and whatnot so yeah just. wondering how old he actually is? (((also please know you are my favorite fic writer ever. and i'm the pickiest of picky readers, so it's like you've been inside my brain! IT'S EERIE! and i'm so grateful <3 <3 <3)))

sdgads oh my gosh thank you so much

look at this fucked up little baby i love him SO LIKE INSOFAR AS THEIR AGES IN CANON ARE A LITTLE FUZZY I think he's 19 in TTSR. I think I'm using the idea that in S1 Keith is 19ish and Shiro is 25ish, and I go with the idea that they met when Keith was 15ish and Shiro is 21ish. And maybe by the end of canon, with Keith's time skip, Shiro is 27ish and Keith is 23ish? I sometimes adjust that number in my mind, it's not a hill I'm gonna die on in general, but for this fic I think those are abouts the ages I'm working with. It makes the most sense to me to imagine that Shiro would be recruiting from high schools, and I was comparing to like ROTC and stuff and they typically don't accept kids under 17, but it seems like the Garrison has younger students and since it's a space exploration program and not strictly a military institution that we have some wiggle room to make up rules haha. So maybe they meet, he finishes 10th grade or whatever, then joins the Garrison? Even though they use very obvious visual language on the show in the flashbacks to tell us KEITH IS SMOL BBY, he's gotta at least be a high school student. I also want to leave him a little time to get to know Shiro. In chapter 4 I wrote like a lil bit of exposition just to like keep everyone on their toes and I thought it would be a fun pacing shift to just start talking about his childhood out of nowhere which is why I sketched out that overview of like his JOURNEY REALIZING HE'S GAY LOL, but in that chapter I mentioned that Shiro leaves for Kerberos when Keith is 17 and he gets kicked out of the Garrison at 18/19. It says this RE:Keith's sexual history lol: But at seventeen with an NCO and eighteen on Iverson’s desk and nineteen with some grad student from the bar, all he knows is that he doesn’t want to give up control.

I also really wanted to give weight to how different he would've looked to Shiro when Shiro comes back, especially leaving Earth off a breakup. And the breaking up is relevant because like, Keith has always just been this kid that he mentors and Shiro is in a committed relationship up until the very end right before his mission, so there's no reason why he'd ever see Keith as desirable. Not just that Shiro is too much of a cinnamon roll and I think he's so faithful & committed to Adam, but Keith is also so fucking immature and messy as a kid right?

When he leaves, Keith is his lil buddy that thirdwheels him & his boyfriend and sleeps on their couch sometimes, and when he comes back Keith is like this angry shell that regressed on all the lessons Shiro taught him. But he's grown and strong and violent !!!! And Shiro sees him as a grown man now! And it's surreal to him! And he feels weird about it sometimes! And when Keith is ready Shiro wants to be topped & dommed because he's so burnt out from making decisions and being in charge and being responsible for everyone's lives and it would be so nice if this violent alien-man would dick him down please!

Sorry I got off topic lol I mean, I think 19 is a nice age where like, there would be a visible difference, he'd be taller, broader shoulders, (if he were fully human maybe he'd be fully grown but I think his Galra genes are gonna keep going lol but Shiro doesnt know that)!

I don't always stick to these ages because canon is so fuzzy so I think like for all writers, readers, & enjoyers we have some space to adjust as needed when it fits the story we're trying to tell. But I think this mostly is the story I'm telling this time and like, if I haven't nailed it down explicitly in the text already you never know if I'll wiggle later or even retcon it LOL. So anyway, the basic TTSR timeline

They meet when Keith is 15

He joins the Garrison at 16

Shiro leaves when Keith is 17

Pilot error etc happens when Keith is 18

He gets kicked out of the Garrison at some point! Do I know when in this following year? idk I didn't decide. Bonus question: Does Keith even know? Does he know what month it is? Does he know how old he is? Pilot error happens and time stops existing for him.

Shiro comes back/canon S1/TTSR begins when he's 19. I also didn't nail a number down yet but I think he was 6 or 7 when his dad died in this. In the upcoming chapter that I haven't finished, there's an extended scene about him and his dad from when he's 5!!!!!!!!!! You didn't ask but, in general if this helps you imagine the TTSR timeline lol. :) :) BOY. I'm upset lol.

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #11

El Diablo En El Cuerpo - Álex Anwandter

Main Genres: Synth Pop, Dance Pop

A decent sampling of: Electro-Disco, Synth Funk, Electro Pop

Yet another entry on the list that I discovered this year while looking for records from outside the Anglosphere. And again, it's another artist from Latino-America.

I already said this in an old review, so I'm just gonna reiterate my stance briefly again - the 21st century 80s synth pop revivalism wave has been very hit or miss. And I'm mostly talking about the stuff that very clearly is actually paying homage to 80s music, not just any artist who happens to make bleeps and bloops.

But yeah, hit or miss. Some of it is frankly very dull and uninspired, and makes me wanna just put on some classic Depeche Mode or Strawberry Switchblade instead.

But when it hits, it hits hard, somehow managing to justify this ""trend"" that's been going on far too long to even be considered a trend anymore. Let's face it - the whole 80s synth pop / synth funk / sophistopop sound is here to stay forever, and I think that's for the best, even if occasionally I get a little exhausted from the over-saturation.

Anyways, moving on to the artist.

Álex Andwandter is a queer Chilean alternative pop artist and director based out of Santiago. He's collaborated with one of my own favourites, fellow Chilean indie/alt pop artist Javiera Mena (who makes a guest appearance on this record!). The dude has been active for over a decade now, so again, I'm a bit late to the party. Cut me some slack; I'm a gringo.

Álex himself sings in a bright, chipper, falsetto-y tenor full of sunshine and rainbows, sounding every bit as colourful as the classic synthesizer sounds that he incorporates into his music, though he also has a more dark and seductive register that he often injects into his steamier dance songs.

El Diablo En El Cuerpo ("The Devil in the Body"), his latest offering and my first introduction to his discography, is classic dancey, funky synth pop with a lot of sincerity and a few pinches of homoerotic mystique sprinkled in here and there. A very indulgent record for you to just lose yourself in the glitter and glam of it all. Basically, this is some utopian gay space shit (shout out to those who get the meme) and I am here for it.

Nothing could prepare me for the tantalizing and straight-up badass electro-disco thunderstorm that is "Qué piensas hacer sin mi amor?" ("What do you think you will do without my love?"). Anwandter channels Depeche Mode, Soft Cell, and Donna Summer all at once on this fierce juggernaut that's absolutely soaking with erotic tension. Puts me right in the middle of the dimmest, sweatiest fucking over-crowded dancefloor in some sleazy ass gay bar on a goth night at 1:00 am, and I'm too drunk to feel anything except the pounding pulse of the rhythm and the arousal of strangers rubbing up against me....ahem, is it hot in here? Anyways, eat your heart out Troye Sivan ("Rush" is great too, I'm mostly just memeing).

In contrast, the following track "Precipicio" ("Precipice") gives off a very 'classy' vibe - more cocktail dresses and glowing white LED dancefloors, less BDSM goth fetish gear and sweaty dankness. Some nice, sexy funky horns on this one that really brings the whole thing together. I also LIVE for Álex's sassy twink diva vibes all over this track; gets me almost as h-word as the previous track.

"Toda la noche" ("All Night") is anthemic synth funk that's giving a little bit of INXS. Groovy and life-affirming feel good shit that I would snort if I could. I want this to be the soundtrack of my own silly little 80s romance that's all about being young in the big city.

"Vamos de nuevo" ("Let's Go Again") is less of a nocturnal dancefloor number, and more something you might skip along to down the sidewalk on a sun shower summer's day with your hot pink Sony Walkman. Gorgeous upbeat vibraphone and detuned synth keys providing a backdrop for foolishly lovesick lyrics. My other favourite cut off the album, after the obvious one.

At the end of the day, the record is definitely a bit frontloaded, and it wears me out a little bit with its sixteen tracks in total. I understand this is probably meant to be the kind of record you play late at night when you're ready to get wasted and dance your heart out until you pass out; I just think it could be sequenced to have more of the outright bangers towards the end. But putting that aside, this was my second favourite dance record in a very stacked year for dance records, and it's certainly my favourite on the more disco/house/funky/electro-y end of the spectrum. El Diablo En El Cuerpo is simple, hot, memorable fun with a lot of exquisite taste. I can't imagine anyone in my own life that I couldn't successfully recommend this album to. So go on, embrace your inner gay synth pop twink.

8/10

Highlights: "Qué piensas hacer sin mi amor?", "Vamos de nuevo", "Precipicio", "Toda la noche", "Tienes una idea muy antigua del amor", "prediciendo la runa", "Unx de nosotrxs (feat. Javiera Mena)"

[trans-xianxian]

hello ben been following u for a while love the content great stuff. rewatching cql and wanted to know ur opinion on whether or not u think wwx knew he was in love with lwj b4 his death, after his resurrection, or post-canon? and talking like, IN LOVE. crush he probably knew like idk. during or after the schooling portion as teenagers ?

idk what the book says but cql specifically i think he knew pretty early on. there are a lot of fics about him JUST figuring out his feelings post-canon surprisingly so i wanted to ask u abt it lol

u've probably already said in the past but i either forgot or didnt see when uve all discussed it. thank u much love hope the hair comes out cool as shit

here's my timeline for how I think wei wuxian felt about lan wangji throughout the series/how aware and comfortable he was w those feelings:

I think that wei wuxian knew almost immediately that he was at the very least Attracted to lan wangji. he makes that stupid gay face the first time he sees him. throughout the cloud recesses arc it's pretty clear that wei wuxian has himself a little crush, and I think he definitely knows it. I've seen a lot of interpretations saying that wei wuxian had a crush but wasn't aware of his own feelings, but all of his clumsy attempts at flirting w lan wangji and trying to get his attention make it obvious to me that he knows very well how he feels and is not uncomfortable or in denial of those feelings

I don't think that wei wuxian was necessarily In Love with lan wangji by the time he's thrown into the burial mounds, but I think he's moved on from silly teenage crush to something more. the thing that makes him finally sit up and keep going in the burial mounds is him imaging lan wangji saying his name for fucks sake

during/around the sunshot campaign I think he is somewhere between Very Strong Romantic Feelings and In Love, and the fact that they spend half of that time at odds w each other only complicates his emotions and how much he is able to accept his own feelings. he obviously feels very strongly for lan wangji in a romantic way and is pushing and prodding to see if lan wangji feels the same but a lot is happening and he has just experienced intense emotional and physical trauma, Every emotion he's feeling is intense and complicated and repressed

as for post sunshot campaign pre yiling laozu era wei wuxian... I think this is where his feelings for lan wangji become more complicated. wei wuxian is pushing Everybody away post burial mounds and trying to separate himself from all of his attachments. he went through unspeakable trauma and now the war is over, he is left with a lot of time and space to fester in his trauma in a way he wasn't during the sunshot campaign. wei wuxian is conflicted about All of his relationships, including his relationship with lan wangji. I think he's struggling with being close to and vulnerable with anybody, and accepting new, intense, and, honestly, dangerous emotions for lan wangji is difficult for him. at this point he is very much shutting down emotionally and he very well may be In Love by then but I certainly don't think he's processing it fully. I think their conversation on phoenix mountain speaks to both wei wuxians uncertainty about their relationship and the intensity of his feelings for lan wangji

now. by the time "at least I could be killed by you, that would be worth it" happens, I Do think that wei wuxian is in love if only because that's the most batshit insane romantic thing I've ever heard in my life no other evidence needed. I think by then he's started to process his emotions more but also there's like. a lot going on right now. I don't think it's high on his list of priorities

By The Burial Mounds Arc, I 100% believe that wei wuxian not only knows that he is in love with lan wangji, but is fully aware of the fact that lan wangji is in love with him. for me, part of their tragedy is that by the end they both Knew, but they had simply run out of time. what is the point of saying it now, at the end? what good is that? maybe if they do not say it outloud the fact that they cannot act on their feelings for each other will hurt less

but part of the joy of their relationship post res Is the tragedy that came before it. they thought they had run out of time but they didn't! wei wuxian gets a second chance! they have been given more time!!