#I gotta give him credit where it's due

[incorrectnevermorequotes]

Montressor just got a lil too relatable in this episode

[lcandothisallday]

auston needs to be captain😩 like HDKSJKS the way he gave brodie the belt and attributed him to being one of the reasons their pk is thriving rn is so captain of him. especially knowing brodie has been struggling recently. stuff like this will help the morale of the team and i just knoowww he notices the little things which makes him such captain material🥺

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

ok but every clawthorne-ism that hunter has (the teleport-dash spell, the “byeeeee!” thing, the thing where he twirls his staff in a fight and looks rly extra, the general snark, the self sacrificing bullshit, etc etc etc) he learned all of that from lilith. i dont care if theyve never actually interacted in the show. i dont care if in canon lilith hates his guts and it’s supported by 8 million pieces of crew art. lilith was hunter’s teacher as a kid and MAYBE their relationship grew bitter bc of coven politics and hunter becoming the golden guard but they were still close when he was younger. lilith didn’t get her palisman taken away bc of time travel shenanigans so she could have taught hunter how to use a staff. she was hunter’s first parent in his collection of hopefully many. dana terrace herself can come up to my door and tell me lilith and hunter never had a parent-child or even a mentor-student relationship and i will tell her she is wrong to her face.

[todayisafridaynight]

Sohei 🤝 Kazama: Bad dads

who even IS a good dad in this series like who even is a dad that we can all look at and go 'now THATS a good dad right there'

[pickedpiper]

Me finding Nitro Rad’s review video of OFF wanting to know more about the game:

[grimescum-2]

also i appreciate the fact ms atoriya just has shit lying around her house for me to grab at all times. got this cool apa/mla cheat sheet thingy that i will NOT be using for any essays, i just wanted the little section about grammar rules for fanfic 😈😈

she also had a gamer headset (which i did not take. but thought was very cool) and a sailor moon christmas sweater (also did not take)

[bbyjackie]

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐖'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡

one piece social media + dating feat: law

♡ liked by beeeepo, p1rateking_luffy and 1.2k others

_ynln: date night cut short by fans 😪

tagged: trafalgar_d.law, themarinesofficial

sogekingg.usopp: aint no way you tagged them 💀💀

↳ _ynln: gotta give credit where its due

p1rateking_luffy: Tra guy why didn't you invite me? ☹️☹️

↳ trafalgar_d.law: the real question is why would i ever invite you

↳ p1rateking_luffy: yn would invite me ☹️

↳ _ynln: i would, come w us next time!

trafalgar_d.law: delete this please

↳ _ynln: sometimes i like to be nice and not gatekeep ur greek god musculature from the world 😌😌

♡ liked by CAPTAIN.KIIIID, p3ngu1n and 2.3k others

_ynln: my babygirl 😍😍

tagged: trafalgar_d.law

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: break up

↳ trafalgar_d.law: what are u doing on my gf's page, get off

↳ beeeepo: if u guys ever break up, i don't believe in love 💔

↳ _ynln: bepo omgg 🥹🥹💕

↳ p3ngu1n: @trafalgar_d.law why aren't you reacting to the caption 😭😭

♡ liked by lovenami, blackleg.sanji and 2.7k others

_ynln: my other half 👩🏻‍🤝‍👩🏼

tagged: lovenami

blackleg.sanji: PLEASE DATE ME 😫😫💖💕💞💘

↳ theroronoa.zoro: dating u would be a charity case

↳ theroronoa.zoro: mb u wouldn't know bout dating u got noo hoes 🤣

blackleg.sanji: PRINTING THIS OUT. THE GODS HAVE BLESSED ME TO HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, NAMIIII AND YNNN IN ONE PHOTO. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. 💖💞💘💕💖❤️❤️‍🔥❣️

↳ lovenami: @_ynln block him rn

↳ trafalgar_d.law: agreed

p3ngu1n: @trafalgar_d.law LMFAOWAOO IMAGINE GETTING REPLACED 🤣🤣

↳ trafalgar_d.law: toilet cleaning duties for 3 months. start rn.

↳ p3ngu1n: IT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR PLS 🙏

♡ liked by _ynln, shachichi.chi and 4.7k others

trafalgar_d.law: i love my gf

_ynln: WTF THIS IS TH EPHOTO YOU POST OF ME?

↳ trafalgar_d.law: i love my gf

_ynln: my boyfriend is officially on sale. bids start off at 3,000,000,000 berries 😙

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: LMFAOO ISNT THAT HIS BOUNTY

↳ themarinesofficial: @_ynln Please check your DMs

↳ _ynln: NO WAY LMFAOO BET

↳ trafalgar_d.law: first our date and now our ig? you guys are the most dedicated fangirls fr 😒😒

[norrizzandpia]

oscar piastri after care

Someone tell me why i have NOT written for op in like YEARS? Guys its a crime

One Lucky Man (OP81)

Summary: After care with OP!

Warnings: insinuations of sex obvi, language, Oscar being lewd

Oscar’s chest heaved up and down as he flopped to the side of Y/n’s body. There was a flush to their faces and sweat clinging to their skin as they turned their heads, smiling softly at each other in the post-sex haze.

“I’d give that a solid 10 out of 10,” Oscar stated, a smirk on his face as he leaned over the mattress and picked his boxers up off the floor, slipping into them and sliding off the bed.

Y/n giggled, “Did you just rate the sex we just had?”

Oscar nodded triumphantly, “Yes, of course, I did. Gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

Y/n, jaw open, scoffed, “I assume you’re referring to crediting yourself.”

His feet stopped him just as he was about to step fully out of the room. He turned around and caught her gaze with a mischievous glint in his, “I did make you come like five times.”

Y/n wasn’t given a chance to respond, Oscar having run down the hall and away from her the moment the sentence left his mouth. She rolled her eyes at his attitude, not genuinely upset seeing as he did make her come five times. When he returned only a few minutes later, in his grasp a granola bar and water, he helped her off the bed.

“Why are you making me leave the cozy bed?” She gave, her hand clutching his as the soreness in her legs threatened a fall to the floor.

He chuckled with a shake of his head, “You have to go to the bathroom, Y/n. Come on, we’re responsible adults, right? Practicing healthy and safe sex, right?”

Y/n grimaced, “Oscar, stop talking like you’re some well educated physician. It’s freaking me out. Plus, we are very much not responsible adults. You just tried to hijack Lando’s car last night and almost crashed it into a pole because you got too excited and hit the gas pedal too hard.”

At the mention of their chaotic dinner with Lando the night before, Oscar let out a guttural laugh. He helped his girlfriend into the bathroom before closing the door, the sound of his chuckles being heard even on the other side of the door.

When she was finished and opened the door back up, Oscar pulled her into his arms again. He laid a kiss in her hair as he dragged her back to bed. Falling onto the heap of blankets, he practically forced the snack and water down her throat.

“Oscar! Oscar! I’m eating it, goddamn.” She laughed as he shoved it into her hand, wrapper somewhere on the floor from when he’d thrown it over his shoulder.

He smiled widely as she chewed, feeling uneasy as he stared at her eating a random granola bar. They passed the water to each other between sips, kisses being shared in the midst of it all as Oscar sidled up next to her.

He lightly pushed her back down to a lying position, tugging her into his side before pulling the comforter over them. Her head stuffed into the crook of his neck, Oscar laid kisses in her hair. His hands ran up and down her back as he started mindlessly talking to her, “Do you know how beautiful you are? I mean, seriously, when I first introduced you to Lando, he pulled me aside and asked how I had managed to even get your number in the first place. It’s cheesy and you’ve probably heard it from guys millions of times before, but I genuinely don’t think I have seen anyone more beautiful than you. I don’t even think words can describe how beautiful I think you are.”

He felt warmth against his neck. He smiled at the blushing she was enduring in the midst of his words, “I don’t care how many times you try to argue me on this. I will never let you win. You’re just… I don’t know. I just love you a lot.”

Y/n pecked his neck in a kiss, “I love you too.”

Oscar shook his head, “Nah, nah, nah, but I love you more.”

Y/n scoffed, “Oscar, no-”

Oscar interrupted her, “No fucking way, Y/n. I love you more. End of discussion. There is absolutely no way anyone could love anything more than I love you.”

She shrugged, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, baby.”

“You help me sleep at night,” He murmured, another kiss to her hairline. She moved away from his body just enough to stare up at him.

She smiled, “You’re a great boyfriend, you know?”

Now was his turn to blush, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re just, like, a goddess, so you just deserve it.”

Y/n laughed, “Osc, I’m not a goddess, but thanks.”

He kissed her sweetly, “Sure, tell that to the millions of people online who continuously ask how you ended up with me. I’m one lucky man and everyone knows it.”

[dazed-and-confused23]

Dear Hearts and Gentle People 8

Summary: Cooper and his wandering trader come across a dangerous wasteland baby, and it's a good thing they're both a little crazy or he didn't think they could pull this off.

Pairings: The Ghoul | Cooper Howard x Female Reader

Warnings. Mhm. None this time? Just a fun Lil chapter

Masterlist

It's the sound of soft chirping that grabs your attention. You've been listening to it for the past ten minutes, and it's only grown louder the further you walk east. You look over your shoulder at Cooper, who rolls his eyes and catches up to you. He thinks that you're too curious for your own good. Shit would get you killed one of the days.

"We ain't gotta check out every sound we hear, smoothskin," He grumbles, but you won't be budged. You unfortunately had a bit of a bleeding heart when it came to animals, and you wouldn't leave this one without help either.

"Just a quick look. If it's fine, then we can go," She assures her ghoulish companion, and Cooper curses the sky, but follows after his smoothskin nonetheless.

You wind around some burnt out buildings and come to a sudden halt when you spot what's been making all the noise. Fear chokes you for half a second as you take in the carcass of a massive deathclaw. It's dark horns curving back and away from its long face, and you recognize it as a female. A dead one.

Cooper grabs you by the collar when you take a step forward, his dark eyes furious as he halts you, "The hell do you think you're doin', girl?"

"It's dead, Cooper," she snapped right back and shrugged out of her jacket, leaving it dangling from the ghoul's hand. You inch forward and peak over the bead body, only to come face to face with the cuties little wasteland baby you'd ever see. Your heart melts at the sight, and you round the carcass to crouch by the baby deathclaw.

"Cooper, it's horns haven't even grown in yet," you coo and watch the sandy colored baby chirp and cry. Its stubby legs waddling closer and closer to where you're crouched. You want to scoop it up and cuddle it close, but you aren't that irresponsible.

The ghoul shuts his eyes and prays to any deity that would listen to give him strength and patience to deal with you today. He closes the distance and squats beside you, eyes narrowed in on the dumb beast that takes two steps before tripping on its tail and falling face first into the sand.

"We should kill it. It won't survive out here without its momma," Cooper says and stands up to draw his side arm, pointing the barrel at the little ones head. The deathclaw is saved by his smoothskin, placing a hand in the weapon and lowering it, and he looks over to see a calculating, shit eating grin playing across your lips.

He knows what you're thinking with just a glance, and a great sigh explodes out of his lungs, "This is a terrible idea, Sweetheart."

You scoff and dig in your backpack, retrieving some wrapped chunks of meat that you toss to the baby. The deathclaw coos and chops or up, and they get a good look at the dangerous teeth inside its tiny mouth. Still hungry, the baby chirps and toddles over to sit in front of you, its reptilian eyes begging for more.

You grin and toss it the rest of the meat, glancing back up to Cooper to see him shaking his head.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," you say and then reach out to carefully pat the baby deatbclaw on the head, "Welcome to the club, Dusty."

*notes.* this was inspired by some lovely fanart by a couple of artists here on Tumblr. I couldn't find their named but I wanted to give credit where credit is due! ❤️*

[tragedy-of-commons]

killjoy

childe x gn!reader | wc: ~1.6k

You catch your boyfriend setting up the cake.

tags/warnings: bday fun, modern & college au, based off of the American College Experience™ sorry, tooth-rotting fluff, teucer is a national treasure, comedy, possibly ooc, reader has hair

notes: for @staarri's 100 followers & bday event <3 trying to write childe was a nightmare but the wheel of doom has spoken. chosen prompt "cruel summer" :)

It has been one hell of a day.

Pop quizzes in two of your classes (that you are now tanking), getting heckled by that same group of protesters, slamming head-first into a glass panel like a pigeon, and then getting splashed by a puddle via a speeding car. 

To give credit where credit is due, you’ve suffered through every incident with class and poise. Despite how you drip with murky street water, the saving grace that is the promise of your warm bed keeps you from inventing new profanities and falling to your knees in the student parking lot.

It’s almost over with, it’s almost over with—

The splintered door of your dorm unit has never looked more welcoming. When your keycard is approved with a click, you heave the barrier between you and uninterrupted sleep wide open. However, what you don’t expect is the little spectacle unfolding in your kitchenette.

Who you belatedly realize is your lovely boyfriend is sticking candles into something - it being quickly shielded from your view as he reacts to your arrival.

“You just had to be early,” he grins, revealing those pearly whites, “Maybe I’ll start calling you ‘Killjoy’.”

“Ajax?” He’s here? Today? But he said— He must notice your sorry state, but he’s wise enough not to mention it. “You really think I’d miss celebrating your birthday in person? Seriously, what kind of partner would I be, just sending you a text? Babe, you gotta start setting some higher standards.”

“Rotten liar,” you mumble, growing smile threatening to split your face in two. 

A small flash of copper peeks around the bedroom-adjoining hallway, hyper. Teucer rushes up in front of his brother, the latter ruffling his hair. “Hey, you’re not supposed to be here yet!”

You snort, wondering if anyone else is planning to jump out of the shadows. “My sincerest apologies. I could always leave—”

“No need,” Ajax dismisses the notion with a cavalier wave. “I think we’re all ready, huh Teuce?”

He huffs in agreement, beaming up at you like you hung the moon. “One second!”

Teucer scampers off faster than you can blink, making you bellow a laugh. His energy knows no bounds, necessitating many hours of entertaining his whims. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Happy birthday,” Ajax says softly; wistfully.

You stalk over to him, embracing your boyfriend like he might disappear into thin air without a moment’s notice. “If you broke in, I will be calling campus security.” “You’d never turn me in! Also, we just so happen to still be on the guest card from last week.” You part from his warmth so you can kiss him. He tastes of sugar, the bastard.

“Buttercream?” you place, peering over his shoulder. The sight of a round cake on the counter confirms your suspicions, and your heart swells. He would’ve had to bake and decorate it somewhere else, given that ovens are a luxury you do not possess in college hell. You picture him in his too-nice apartment, piping frosting in the familiar loops of your name. “Yes!” Teucer rushes back in (you note that he’s hiding his hands behind his back), while Ajax pokes your nose. “Big brother spent soooo long on it!”

You snicker deviously. “Really?”

“No reason to lie,” your boyfriend pouts, “Though I’m a bit hurt that you’re both trying to embarrass me, after I went to all this trouble..”

Teucer sticks his tongue out in disgust whenever you console Ajax with another kiss, likely wanting you both to hurry up your gross couple stuff so he can show you his gift. It’s presented to you ceremoniously, and you honor the splendor by pretending not to know that it’s definitely one of his toys. 

Your acting is award-winning, perfectly ignoring the obvious ridges and appendages of a Transformer. After tearing open the paper, you’re told that his name is Mr. Cyclops and you have to take good care of him - your sworn oath.

(Of course, Mr. Cyclops will mysteriously end up back in Teucer’s bedroom if you can count on your partner in crime to help you out. You and Ajax share a Look that hints at conspiracy.)

Speaking of your boyfriend, you don’t think he is governed by even one modicum of shame. During the Happy Birthday song, he performs with his whole chest, much to your chagrin. You think that Ajax lives the most for other people; even if it shines brightest whenever he teases and flusters. His camaraderie is most genuine when he’s this comfortable - when he knows that the present moment is all he needs to focus on. 

When did he start letting his guard down? You find yourself unable to recall among past memories of trudging to the local diner at ungodly hours, cramming for finals at the library, and responsibly talking him down from any antics that would surely get him in trouble.

(Maybe it was when you first held an ice pack over his eye, swollen shut from a punch he shouldn’t have taken just for the thrill of it. Your admonishment must have been jarring, because without any teasing remarks whatsoever, he promised that he’d dial it down. You remember lacing your fingers with his - and promptly threatening to “embalm him with jet fuel” if he ever got hurt again.)

Now your relationship has progressed to the point where spending your first birthday together feels natural. It feels so natural that shitty paper plates stacked high with slices of cake is enough to make you forget that you look like that one damp owl picture. Ajax, as per his boyfriend duties, has to remind you, of course.

“Bad day, huh?” 

You rest your chin on your fist, elbow supported by the armrest of your (comically small) couch. In retrospect, the fleeting illusion of a living room probably wasn’t worth it. Squished into a corner by a dozing Teucer and an awake Ajax, you yawn. “The worst, actually.”

“Well, we can’t be having that,” he tips your chin up to meet azure hues, “Maybe my gift will make you feel better.”

You blink. “Gift? You don’t have to, you know. The little guy’s was plenty enough for me.” 

Ajax spares a fond glance at his little brother, whose head is resting in his lap, legs thrown over the opposite armrest. “Nonsense! If you’re worried about me having bought out a whole store—”

“Don’t tell me you—”

“—Then you have nothing to fret over, Killjoy,” he laughs. “It’s pretty small.”

You don’t suppress the smile that breaks out on your face. “Okay, I’ll bite.”

“Hopefully not too hard.” He’s so annoying. You want to kiss him stupid.

From what you assume is from his back pocket, he removes a black silk pouch before dropping it into your awaiting hand. He was right about it being small, that’s for sure. Toying with the material of it for a moment, you pull open the bag delicately. Ajax tenses. “So.. whaddya think?”

Inside is a brass key that fits into your palm nicely. Of course you’ll love anything he gives you, but you’re unsure of what this could mean. Is it symbolic? Literal? You thumb over the grooves, unsure of what they could possibly unlock. Your head swims with a fuzzy feeling that you don’t entirely hate.

“What’s it to?”

“Our place.”

It’s perfect. You turn the object this way and that way, swallowing. “Giving me my own copy? You realize that you’re gonna be stuck with me crashing at yours way more often, right?”

Your boyfriend wraps a sturdy arm around your shoulder. “It’s not there for you to crash, it’s there for you to stay. I want you to move in with me.”

The following awed silence from you is clearly taken as something else, because Ajax backpedals in that flippant way that belies the panic he’s actually feeling. You need to tell him that it’s okay; that it’s more than okay.

“Of course you can say no, but the rest of your birthday plans kinda hinge on the possibility that you’ll make me the happiest man in the world and say yes,” he amends.

You pay no heed to his theatrics, because all you really need is him. Gross. “Duh, idiot. As much as it kills me to say this, I’d want nothing more.” Ajax glows. “Because you’re head over heels in love with me?”

“No, because I won’t have to drag my ass to the laundromat anymore.”

The offended sound he lets out is muffled with your mouth against his once more, and the tears that roll down your cheeks are obviously not because you’re ecstatic to be so involved in his life. What a preposterous idea.

His hands cradle your face, a little awkward because of the position, but he’s so warm. 

“Killjoy, I have something to confess,” he breathes, pulling back enough so you can see the faint constellation of freckles dotting his features. “You need to start packing immediately, or else the flowers will wilt before you’re able to see them.”

You sigh, happy-sniffling. “Flowers? Is a bouquet perhaps part of these ‘birthday plans’?”

Ajax dries one of his hands stained with your tears off onto his shirt before raking it through Teucer’s curls affectionately. He stirs but does not wake. “Try thirty!”

“Ajax..” The horror in your tone barely disguises the admiration.

“I love you too, Killjoy.”

That night, when you’re both alone in his apartment, tangled in each other’s arms, your overnight bag on the floor - you tell him the same. The few tears he sheds into your hair are also definitely not because you’re finally comfortable enough to say it back. Ridiculous.

taglist: @hanyi-writes, @karagatan02, @bfajax, @aphrodict, @nomazee

[rallentando1011]

Valentine’s Day With Donnie

(rise Donnie x gn reader)

Saint Valentine’s Day: a fickle holiday that celebrates even more fickle emotions, a day that forces the formation of many a precarious bond that statistically would not last

At least, that’s how Donnie saw it for the entirety of his life

Until you came along

Now, don’t get him wrong, he still thinks it’s stupid, but maybe something could be stupid and enjoyable

He means, he enjoys his brothers’ company, right? (/j… maybe /hj)

Either way, for you, he doesn’t mind giving Valentine’s Day a genuine go

So, when you come over on the holiday, Donnie’s ready

“As you know, I think Valentine’s Day is an example of rampant consumerism devouring the meaning behind holidays and people’s wallets, but there is something special about a day in which one can express their admiration for each other.”

“Wait… you got me something?”

“Correction: I made you something.”

The man proceeds to hand you a new phone, the insignia on it implying it was made, or at least modified, by his hand

You’d been complaining mentioning that you needed one that actually works

You smile and thank him eagerly

“It’s fine if you don’t have anything, I wasn’t really expecting-”

“Au contraire, Don, I made you something too!”

He looks baffled for about 20 seconds as you hand him a small gift bag containing red velvet macarons, lavender tea bags, a small, smooth rose quartz, a miniature turtle plushie

“Well, me and Mikey made the macarons together. Gotta give credit where credit is due.”

He barely registers your comment, too absolutely enamored by your consideration of him

Donnie doesn’t know where his mind is at, but it definitely isn’t in this solar system, perhaps not even the surrounding stellar systems

Bottom line, bro’s ecstatic

The huge grin on his face and brightness in his eyes effectively gets his point across

Not only did he give a heartfelt gift, he received one?

Okay, maybe this Valentine’s Day had something to it

Watching rom-coms solely to trash on them is a mandatory tradition

Every other Valentine’s Day he’s spent by his lonesome has mostly consisted of hours of mercilessly ragging on romantic comedies

Yep, definitely just to criticize them

No sadness and/or yearning involved

But now, with your company?

He’s still criticizing the ever-loving heck out of those movies

If you genuinely enjoy rom-coms, be prepared for this little pessimist to rain on your parade, grumbling questions of the logic and flow of the film

However, if you, too, find them stupid, you’ve found yourself the perfect, cynical viewing buddy

“You can tell just from the cinematography of that one guy catching her that he’s the secondary love interest.”

“I swear on Galileo’s heliocentric model itself- how many love interests can one main character have?”

“I think that’s the challenge that was going on in the writer’s room - to see how many variations of a love triangle they could make.”

“The challenge in the writer’s room was that they had too many people slamming on keyboards, yet none of them wrote Shakespeare.”

“Was that an infinite monkey theorem allusion?”

“And a simultaneous dig on the foul writing - zing!”

Following the festivities of movie-binging and gift-giving, he turns to you with a rather uncharacteristic diffidence in his demeanor

Glance askance, slight perspiration on his forehead, fidgeting hands, stammering words

As you start to ask what’s wrong, Donnie quickly, almost unintelligibly so, asks if you want to dance

If you feel so inclined, you nod, take his hand, and offer a dance

If Sinatra is playing (Nancy or Frank or both), you know some slow dancing is going down

Bill Withers or Kitty Kallen, maybe even Dean Martin, something classic, whispering in the background, a hand or two on your hips, yours on his shoulders, chins tucked cozily on the crook of each other’s neck or crown of the head, just the two of you gently swaying together to the rhythm sounds perfect

Normally when he dances, it’s fast-paced boogie or groove (he didn’t get the name Bootyshaker9000 for nothing), but for today, for you, he’ll keep the dancing slow, smooth, sweet

Keeping you close and spending time with you has certainly made this his favorite Valentine’s Day thus far

The macarons you gave him also significantly improved his verdict

(Happy Valentine’s Day gang ‼️ HERE are some accompanying sketches with this!)

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?

:D an ask! Yay!

Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.

They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.

No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!

Best Quality - His Wiggles

This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!

Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!

The All-Blades

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.

HOWEVER

I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!

...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh

Normal Ass Swords

They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?

Guns - Real Bullets

Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit

Guns - Rubber Bullets

Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.

I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!

JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!

My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!

Bombs

Love it, give him more bombs forever

ka-BOOM!!!!

His Brain

This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.

He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!

Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.

I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!

[majorbaby]

The reason Klinger's dress-wearing has aged well is because while the showrunners knew many people in the audience would see a man-in-a-dress gag, they intended for his wardrobe to be a form of protest. This is not unlike Hawkeye's theatrics or Henry and Trapper's loose morals, which are also subject to the perception of audiences old and cough cough current.

Klinger's not embarrassed to wear dresses any more than Hawkeye, Trapper and Henry are embarrassed when Margaret catches them screening a porno in the CO's office. At the time the show was trying very hard to tell us that the most embarrassing thing a man can do be duped by the violent myths of patriarchy, nationalism and hatred.

There are still things to critique about how it was done. There probably were way more people in the 70s laughing at a man in a dress when they saw Klinger than there were people perceiving him as a genderqueer icon. The laugh track playing when he enters the frame is indication enough to me that the show was leaning into that - although they also campaigned for the laugh track to be dropped entirely and here's an example of how including it really changes the tone of the show.

(Aside: The actual affront to the Klinger character for which I see no upside is when the jokes become about his race, class and intelligence - a lot of this happens after the laugh track is dropped and he's not wearing dresses anymore)

I also think it's important to give credit where credit is due, and honestly the state of primetime television then and now means that Klinger just being there is worth something on its own. And in my opinion I think it's great that there's canonical similarities between Hawkeye's anti-establishment values and Klinger's. I don't fault people for latching onto Hawkeye in that regard because he is the protagonist, but in 2023 I can point out that Klinger lacks the race, class, career and narrative protections that Hawkeye enjoys - while saying much of the same things that Hawkeye does.

If you see him as a rebel with a cause today, I think it's important to know that he has always, canonically been a rebel with a cause, even with regards to gender expression.

The army brutally enforces conformity to gender roles, we see Margaret struggle with this repeatedly. Margaret likes feminine things and wants to feel pretty, but she's gotta be in uniform because the army is important to her, and she's shown to suffer for it. Klinger meanwhile doesn't give two shits about the army and so he's free to wear whatever he wants. That's intentional messaging. It didn't purely "age well" - it was good shit in its original form and context. There were good people with good intentions who wrote him like that.

[wxnheart]

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

note: I'm expanding on what I call my Just Be series (which started with König/Just Kingly Things) and what better way to do that than to do one for Babygurl? heads up, this list touches on some sensitive subjects, too. hope y'all enjoy it!

Ghost vividly remembers his father’s words, spurred by misery and an alcoholic rage. He remembers the times when the wretched bastard would tell him that he was unlovable and would amount to absolutely nothing. And surprise, surprise, Simon believes believed this.

He remembers his mother’s smile, strained and… and lifeless. He can count on one hand the number of times it reached her eyes. It was never around his father.

Simon also thinks of his brother, anxiety and tension fueling their fights; they fought each other because they couldn’t fight anyone else. Not the ones they wanted to fight, that is.

Ghost remembers the day when he took matters into his own hands and stood up to their father. He remembers the abject fear in the miserable fuck’s eyes and finally—

He remembers the hopeful smile his mother gave him later. He remembers seeing the tension and stress literally leave his brother’s body.

Even if he didn’t show it often, Simon was damn proud to see his family’s life turn around for the better. Simon remembers his brother pledging his life and love to new his sister-in-law. He remembers swallowing a bitter pill to support him and the singular thought running through his mind the entire time: ‘Where’s my happiness?’

And despite his upbringing, Ghost is very much a marriage-minded individual (to his surprise). You’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise because he keeps to himself.

A relationship with Simon is best described as a slow burn. Your attraction to him would be more apparent than his desire for you. Simon would be extremely hesitant in the beginning to pursue you for a plethora of reasons, the main one being a hidden fear that he’ll turn out like his father. He internalized every single thing the miserable shit told him. A close second one is, well, his profession. He figures that not many people can stomach the things he’s seen and done. Gotta have a certain strength of will to deal with everything that comes with him. You have to have patience as well.

You’re up for the challenge but Simon is still skeptical hence why your relationship with him will develop fairly slowly. Funnily enough, Soap will be your wingman and biggest supporter because the way he sees it, Ghost is just as deserving of love and happiness as the next person even if he thinks he isn’t.

And yeah, Ghost can give credit where it’s due. There are a lot of things he’s learned about himself thanks to you.

For starters, he’s learned that he’s a much more territorial person than he thought. Simon remembers the way his father would do his damnedest to hoard his mother’s attention and he does his best not to do that with you.

It’s hard to make him laugh but he always finds the sides of his mouth quirking whenever you tell a shitty joke. From anyone else, he wouldn’t be impressed but you… yeah. Offbeat humor suits you. It doesn’t hurt to chuckle after all.

When you first called him handsome, something new, something different aside from all the bullshit insults hurled at him or Ghost or Simon, he was immediately on edge if only because he’d never felt so… flattered before. Yeah, that’ll take some getting used to but he’d be a fucking liar if he didn’t think your compliments made his day. Or that he feels some type of way when you compliment someone else.

You two can agree to disagree. Civilly, might I add, and without the theatrics. What better way to pacify a mean fuck than to agree with everything they said, even when it was loud and wrong? Simon’s glad to not have to walk on eggshells, to realize that there can be peace even in the midst of conflict.

He can never forget the joy in your eyes that day when you two crossed that bridge and made your relationship official (“About damn time, Lt.” “Shut up, Johnny.”). You’re practically glowing and he allows himself to feel, to believe that he’s everything his father said he’d never be. You hug him tightly and yeah, Simon figures he’ll be just fine.

Your smile reaches your eyes and he thinks he’s found his happiness after all.

Just Ghostly things, amirite?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The DUFF 9

Warnings: groping, insecurity, food and body issues, manipulation, and the usual. Proceed with caution.

Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far.♥♥♥♥

Image credit (I want to give dues where due but don’t want the creator to keep getting tagged in my posts as I have been approached by some before that they don’t want me in their notifs)

You don't know what to wear. You don't even know where you're going. All you know is Curtis will be there soon.

You take a middling approach to your outfit. A nice circle skirt with a simple blouse. It won't be too much for somewhere casual or too slobbish for a more upscale venue.

You grab your purse and clutch your phone tight as you head out. Downstairs, you wait in the shade of the building. You bounce impatiently, checking over and over for a message.

The long you wait, the more uncertain you feel. The day before was intense and you start to think it's all a big joke. What if he's not coming? What if he'd just been playing with you? That would make a lot more sense.

A red car pulls up at the curb but you hardly notice. Not until the window rolls down and your name drifts through. You flick your eyes up and smile.

You follow the walkway and cross the sidewalk. As you approach, the locks click loudly. You let yourself into the car and pull your skirt out of the way of the door as you close it.

"You look great, bunny," Curtis greets and you flinch as he leans over to peck your lips, "ready for lunch?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," you reply as you nervously hug your bag.

"Before we go," he reaches into his jacket pocket, dark denim undone over a black button-up, "gotta put this on."

He takes out a black blindfold and you blanch. What? Why?

"It's a surprise, bun bun," he says, "I got it all planned out. Just you and me."

"I don't know…" you utter.

"Our first date has to be perfect," he continues as if he's not even heard you, "better than any date you've had before."

You don't say anything. There's a gleam in his eyes that suggests there isn't anything you can say. You just have to get through whatever he has planned. Besides, it's romantic, right? A surprise. Your friends would gush if they ever found a guy who put in that sort of effort.

You let him put the cloth over your eyes and he knots it firmly, adjusting it so your vision is completely obscured. His fingertips brush along your cheek and neck and he squeezes your shoulder.

"Relax, I got it from here," he assures you, "you're gonna love this. Promise."

He steers away from the curb and you lean into the seat with the motion of the car. It's a strange feeling, one that disorients you. Your heart pounds behind your ears and your skin turns to ice. Should you be going along with this?

You squirm, resisting the urge to pull down the blindfold with each turn. He stops several times, only idling before carrying on. As the journey stretches on, you start to wonder where exactly you're going. Well, it's really all you've been thinking.

It feels close to an hour before he finally shuts off the engine. You can hear trees rustling and birds chirping. The sun is warm through the car window and adds to the sheen of sweat forming over you.

You reach for the cloth but Curtis stops you. He grabs your hand, rubbing your knuckles, and bids you to stay.

"Gotta get set up, bunny, just a few minutes," he kisses your temple before he gets out of the car.

You sit stiff and unsure. You hear him open the back door, then shut it, the muffle of activity just outside the car. Your anticipation grows to anxiety.

When he opens your door, you wince. He unbuckles your seatbelt and guides you out of the car. You step onto soft ground and he leads you further, stopping and angling you around.

He gets behind you and unties the knot. As the fabric falls away, you can't help but gasp. There's a plaid blanket spread over the lush grass and a basket atop it with an assortment of pillows. There are several dishes already set out for the picnic and a bottle of wine.

"Wow, you did all this?" You ask. Suddenly you feel very stupid. And guilty.

"Sit, bunny," he gestures to the round pink pillow with the frilly edge.

You sputter. You're blown away by it all. He's a bit overbearing but you've never had anyone do so much for you. Hell, you've never even been on a proper date. Maybe yesterday was just a fluke.

You sit and he lowers himself across from you. He grabs the bottle of wine and presents it.

"I got some rose, I wasn't sure your preference but it pairs well with hummus and soft cheeses," he explains.

"Oh, nice," you fix your skirt as it rides up, "wow, I can't believe you did all this."

"Of course, bunny. And after, we can go for a nice walk by the river."

"This is such a beautiful spot, how did you find it?"

"Hm, I like to explore. Don't get a lot of that these days. So quiet out here. I usually bring a book but… happy to have company."

Your cheeks burn and you fidget. You can't believe you were so worked up over this. You feel awful for immediately painting him in such a bad light. You're just not used to the attention, it isn't fair to project that on him.

He takes a glass and fills it with the blush wine and offers it to you. You accept it with a breathy thank you and watch a butterfly flutter by. You couldn't have ever dreamed up anything so perfect.

"You look beautiful, bunny," he corks the wine, "I like that skirt," he sets the bottle aside and touches your hem, "maybe we'll have some time for dessert."

[gartenofbanny]

Alright, for some reason I actually typed an indepth review of Unhappy Campers because I didn't really have much else to do, so with that out of the way let's get started with the positives!

The Positives

Alright so now that the positives are out of the way let's get started with the negatives!

The Negatives

The Characters

The characters in this episode were all just infuriatingly insufferable to watch throughout the episode or were just painfully underwhelming. I'm gonna start off with the character I disliked the most in this episode and that's Moxxie.

Moxxie, as I said in a previous post, was honestly stupid, extremely sensitive, and legit wanted the attention of everyone in this episode. They had the clear opportunity to just solve the case and get it done, but Moxxie wants to roleplay with literal kids, wants to be well known, and use his solo mission as some detective game for some fucking reason. He gets mad at Millie just because she's getting the attention he wants where tf did this toxic behavior come from exactly? Moxxie is a hypocrite in this episode and Millie was 100% in the right to tell him off.

Oh yeah and I almost forgot, they made Moxxie physically weak again. Which I gotta ask why was he struggling against Barbie Wire and how tf did he not kill the human when he was fully capable of fighting and killing demons twice his size just an episode ago? Doesn't seem consistent now, does it?

Not to mention the writers did another "Moxxie gains confidence arc" AGAIN. Millie tells him to "play to his strengths" literally giving him the same damn advice she gave him IN HARVEST MOON it's just worded differently.

And for some reason, Moxxie is like a Blitzo dickrider in this episode. Why is Moxxie ecstatic when Blitzo gave him the solo mission? Why was Moxxie down in the dumps when Blitzo called him a disappointment? Moxxie in Season 1 wouldn't take that shit, what the hell happened? They made one of the more sufferable characters in Helluva Boss so insufferable.

Now onto Millie and this is going to be short. I am glad that Millie's getting a lot of screentime but this entire revelation where she likes being loved and respected because of her physical capabilities comes completely out of nowhere.

Millie has always been respected for her physical strength especially by Moxxie, but she wasn't this fixated on it. Where did this come from? Why is it that she's obsessed with fame over her physical capabilities? And what's even worse is that her fans don't even like Millie for her personality that much they mainly like her because of her looks and strength. It had no build up and Millie wasn't even affected in the slightest when all of that reputation she garnered was instantly flushed down the drain. It was just meaningless. Now that I think about it, I would appreciate the character arc more if it had some form of build up and Millie would actually reflect and talk about it later on. But I know she probably won't.

Now onto fucking Barbie Wire. Her screentime in this episode is 3 minutes and 16 seconds and the entire episode is 20 minutes and 18 seconds long excluding the credits. So there was more screentime of Blitzo and everyone he confronts MENTIONING her than there was actually showcasing her.

Barbie Wire is literally Blitzo but female design wise and disguise wise..she just looks like a human version of Velvette. Tell me you can't design characters without telling me you can't design characters, this is the second new character in a row that shares a physical similarity to a previously made character. I'd get why she looks exactly likes Blitzo but having her human form be extremely similar to Velvette's actual design is lazy as hell.

Barbie Wire is also a groomer too. I know that the counselor is technically an adult, but Barbie Wire is still using her body to manipulate him and adults are vulnerable to grooming. Plus it's still weird to me due to the age gape, Barbie Wire is in her 30s and the counselor is 18 to 19 years old. I bet you're all wondering how I got this info too, well Viv made a tweet about it. It wasn't stated in the episode that the person Moxxie and Millie were trying to kill was barely an adult leading many people to believe that Barbie Wire was a...cupcake eater.

Barbie Wire is revealed to hate Blitzo, do we know why? No, we do not and for some reason the writers decided to keep this part ambiguous. When we first saw Verosika Mayday at least it was revealed that she had a reason to hate Blitzo but we don't get that with Barbie Wire for some fucking reason. Overall Barbie Wire is underwhelming but also infuriating, I honestly thought that I could manage to like her going in this episode but it just couldn't work no matter how hard I tried. So we have to wait another couple of months or at most years for Barbie Wire to show up again so then we'd fully know why she hates Blitzo from her perspective.

Blitzo was honestly the least sufferable character mainly because he didn't have much screentime, I was honestly so happy. But then I realized why is it that Blitzo now wants to see Barbie Wire? The nurse over at the rehab told Blitzo that Barbie Wire checked out of rehab months ago, so why is it that Blitzo didn't visit her prior? He apparently wants to make amends and catch up to her but why? We're not given an explanation or even a reason. He wants to help Barbie Wire, why? How come he doesn't visit Fizzarolli or anyone else he had a past relationship with?

Blitzo complains to Barbie Wire for not keeping contact with him even though he had opportunities to actually talk to her. Then after he's confronted by Barbie Wire he immediately goes back to being regular old Blitzo. At least in Ozzie's Blitzo actually had some form of guilt, in this episode we don't see how Barbie Wire yelling at Blitzo even affected him all we see him do is just make the sad puppy eyes, that's it. What was the point in all of that if you're just gonna go back to the status quo? 💀

Anyway, somehow they managed to make all the characters bad or underwhelming. Idk how they achieved both with Barbie Wire, they need a medal for that one.

This episode is a waste of time

This episode in all honesty is a literal waste of time. Nothing has changed aside from the fact that Barbie Wire is out of rehab. You can skip this episode and miss nothing because this episode immediately goes back into the status quo regardless of all of the shit that happened. The only important thing in this episode is that Barbie Wire got out of rehab, but even then we'd know that information from a throwaway line. And what's even more frustrating is that this episode isn't a filler episode, it's a chronological episode with nothing that's relevant to the story. 

More fucking questions

This episode as always raises a lot more questions than it does answers. With the main one being if Blitzo can find an Asmodean Crystal in a week then why does he even need the Grimoire? The Asmodean Crystal has more use to them regarding their business and actually gives them human forms. Next question is how come Barbie Wire didn't cover up her tattoos so nobody would find her? How did Blitzo recognize Barbie Wire in her human disguise instantly? Was the counselor aware that Barbie Wire was a demon the entire time? There's just so many questions but no canonical answers.

Too many plots

This episode juggles around three plots. Moxxie and Millie killing their target, Millie getting famous while Moxxie tries to get famous, and Blitzo finding Barbie Wire. This could've easily been split into two episodes have the Moxxie and Millie plot one episode, reveal that Barbie Wire is the one selling and smuggling the heroin then have the next episode dedicated to Blitzo finding Barbie Wire and trying to talk her out of selling drugs with Barbie Wire revealing why she doesn't like Blitzo throughout the episode.

But instead the episode just jumps from one scene to the next. Moxxie trying to get famous while also trying to go inside the shed, Millie loving her fame, and Blitzo trying to find Barbie Wire. It's especially apparent when Barbie Wire vs Blitzo and Moxxie is always halted to show Millie's fucking performance. Like holy fucking shit we don't need to see Millie perform, show the important fucking part.

Barbie Wire is confronted, cuts to Millie using her rizz, then it cuts back to Barbie Wire being confronted.

This is definitely an Adam Neylan episode because it's always the episodes he writes that has these amount of plots in one episode.

The..jokes

This is honestly the last thing I wanted to touch up on because the jokes in this episode are not even funny and honestly disturbing most of the time. I'll name the three worst ones.

The camp is called Camp Ivannakummore and it's a camp filled with preteens and children. Let that sink in.

Moxxie wants to be famous around kids and starts crying because he isn't even though he's in his 30s. I'm pretty sure that they were doing the "high school nerd trying to be famous" trope, but it doesn't work because Moxxie isn't in the same fucking age range as these kids. It's like if an adult disguised as a teenager tries to go back into their peak high school years by going into some random high school and starts doing some fucking musical.

This is like the worst joke in this episode by far. Fornication between demons disguised as minors that are also disguised as siblings in front of a crap ton of other minors. What is this, Rick and Morty? Did Dan Harmon write this joke?

Conclusion

This episode in my opinion is the worst episode to me. The characters weren't likable or just flat-out boring, there were too many plots, and even then it led to nothing in the future, none of the jokes made me laugh or even chuckle, and it was honestly very painful just dragging myself through this episode. Unhappy Campers has all the worst aspects of Helluva Boss in the span of 21 minutes. And it was just very very painful to even sit through. I honestly don't think I would've missed anything if I didn't watch this episode because that's what it feels like, a nothing episode that managed to make me mad.

Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day! ❤️