#I had no idea these were specifications before :O learn something new every day

[1p2p-heta-imagines]

Which of the nyo allies do you think would be into butch/femme dynamics in a lesbian relationship? Or butch4butch, femme4femme, or not into labels.

(You didn’t specify 1p or 2p so I just did both, hope that’s alright 🖤 And I think I understood this ask right, please tell me if you meant something else and I’ll write it right away!)

Butch/femme:

• 1p Nyo Canada

• 1p Nyo Russia

• 2p Nyo Canada

Butch4Butch:

• 2p Nyo America

• 2p Nyo Russia

• 2p Nyo China

Femme4femme:

• 1p Nyo England

• 1p Nyo China

• 2p Nyo England

Not into labels:

• 1p Nyo America

• 1p Nyo France

• 2p Nyo France

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Navia, Lisa,Beidou, Sara likes to rest their boobs on their S/Os head. S/O has a strong neck luckily

Them resting their breasts on readers head

characters: Navia / Lisa / Sara x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: nothing too suggestive. But it’s more than handholding, so consider yourself warned

a/n: Cut out Beidou bc I usually only write up to 3 characters per request and she was the one I had least of an idea what to write for.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Navia

Navia and you had a very physical relationship, from holding hands, hugging each other whenever you met or cuddling when it was just the two of you, you had long grown accustomed to it. And while you kept it to an absolute minimum when the two of you were at work, the same could not be said about whenever Navia visited your office while you were busy filling out whatever paperwork you had left.

Just as she wouldn’t want to be interrupted however, the Spina’s President made sure not to distract you from your own, either relaxing on the couch or helping you avoid becoming too bored with smalltalk. And yet sometimes, simply talking to you wasn’t enough. Navia moving closely behind you as she moved her arms around your neck and began leaning against your chair as the two of you continued to talk.

All the while a new weight would be placed upon your shoulders… or more specifically. Your head.

The first few times it happened, you became completely unable to focus on your work. You may have never been able to bring it over your heart to tell her, but the paperwork you spent the rest of your workday pretending to fill out cost you countless nights. And yet, you decided to keep your mouth shut, simply deciding to learn how to continue to work through it instead of confessing just how distracting it was.

Because, while you weren’t shameless enough to outright state it, you didn’t mind. Far from it.

“Did you take care of the pothole I asked you about?” Navia cut through the comfortable silence as she stole a glance down at whatever paper you were currently working on, and while her question may have been about work, you wouldn’t have been able to tell from her tone alone. Her voice sounding more as if she had just asked you about how your day had been than anything else. 

“I made sure it was fixed as quickly as possible”, answered, causing Navia to let out a small chuckle. You may have been reliable enough normally, but whenever she asked you to do something you gave everything you could possibly muster to make sure it was done as quickly and perfectly as possible. 

Almost subconsciously, Navia moved her hand to pat your head, only to quickly remember that it was already occupied when she looked down on your head, a sudden thought crossing her mind.

“Say, isn’t it distracting to have me hug you while you work?” She thought out loud, earning herself a confused hum in response before you quickly responded.

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? You don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings-”

“I wasn’t trying to protect your feelings. It’s fine the way it is, no need to move”, you cut her off almost frantically, only for your ears to turn ever so slightly red as Navia stared at you in stunned silence.

And then she let out a small laugh before returning her arms around your neck.

“Alright.”

Lisa

You have always had a hard time believing Lisa would accidentally lean against you in such a way that her breasts ended up resting on your head, something only made more difficult with each time the librarian suddenly caught herself doing it. Especially since she never seemed to learn from her mistakes, the same scenario occurring each and every time you found yourself in an almost completely abandoned library.

Once upon a time, you were embarrassed whenever it happened. Your face would heat up as you nervously tried to decide whether to tell her or not, only for it to happen more frequently the more accentuated your reaction was. Those days had long since passed, and yet Lisa’s accidents were far from being a thing of the past.

And so, you weren’t all too surprised when you suddenly felt the familiar weight on your head, your eyes not leaving the book in your hand for even a moment as a brief greeting escaped your lips, too used to it all to care too much.

And yet it all changed when you heard the familiar creaking sound of the library’s door swinging open, your eyes widening when it became clear Lisa had no intention of moving.

Her teasing was one thing. Someone else seeing you like this however? That was a whole different story. One you preferred nobody to be able to tell.

“You had your fun Lisa. Can you stop for today?” You asked meekly, not wanting anyone to hear your slightly panicked voice.

“What are you talking about, my cutie?” Lisa asked innocently, only for you to hold back a sigh response.

“My head.” You responded sternly, only to receive a small chuckle from her.

“You didn’t seem to mind it before.”

“Because I know you’re going to do your thing. And we were alone before”, came your whisper, no longer being able to pretend your gaze was on the lines in your book as you scanned whatever surroundings you could see without having to move.

“Are you embarrassed?”

So that’s what this was about.

“Would you reposition yourself if I admitted that I was?” You asked, only to receive nothing but silence in response, a sigh escaping your lips before you once again opened your mouth.

“Yes, I am.”

And just like that, it was like a weight was lifted from your shoulders, literally, as Lisa sat down next to you, a book of her own in her hands as her eyes briefly scanned the title of yours.

“Oh, I haven’t read that one in a while. Mind letting me read it once you’re done?”

Sara

Whenever Sara and you went over possible tactics, time-schedules for operations or the next couple of days or simply tomorrow’s training you liked to remain seated in your chair, having whatever papers you were working on laid out in front of you as you filled them out. The general however, often found herself walking around the room when your meetings drew out, trying to keep her mind sharp as you discussed plans.

Today was one such days, and as you heard Sara pace around behind you, your gaze remained locked on the schedule in front of you, pen in hand as it was ready to be swung around to correct any mistakes or adjust the plans accordingly. Yet as you tried to follow her thoughts, you quickly found yourself losing her.

“Sara? You said we’d let the troops take a small break after the march, right?” You interrupted her, only to quickly receive a response in the form of an acknowledging hum, causing you to continue.

“Where is this march? I can’t find it anywhere in the schedule”, you asked again, only for Sara to quickly approach the desk from behind before leaning over from behind you and pointing at one of the papers, asking you something you’d wish you could understand.

And yet your mind had left the papers in front of you a long time ago, your face heating up ever so slightly as you felt a sudden new weight on your head.

“Does that answer your question?” Sara asked, only to receive no answer in response, confusion and a bit of worry overtaking her mind the longer you remained silent.

“Are you alright?” She broke the silence once again, causing you to quickly try to ease her worries, only for your nervous stutter to intensify them.

“Uhm. S-Sure!”

“Don’t lie to me. Look me in the face-”, Sara demanded as she looked down to see yours, only to quickly notice the problem herself. The general taking a large step backwards as her own face turned a deep red, struggling to regain her composure for several minutes of excruciating silence as neither of you said a word.

And then, finally. You broke it.

“...so the break. 90 Minutes?”

“An hour should be sufficient.”

[quicktosimp]

Aonung - NSFW ABC

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

This man loves you to death, but once he’s done the act, he’s asleep in minutes. He’ll try and take care of you, but most likely, you will be cleaning yourself up to the sounds of his snores.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

For Aonung, it’s gonna be his hair. All throughout the movie, Aonung’s hair is in pristine condition, and salt water does some damage to your hair, yet he always looks shiny and healthy; he definitely cares for it well.

For his lover, he loves their hips. Lovely wide hips that sway as you walk. Totally not thinking about how those hips will hold his child…

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Aonung isn’t specific on cum; he prefers to do it inside but is also fine cumming anywhere.

D= Dominate (how dominate are they)

Acts like a tough man with strict rules, but is a complete simp for you. You can see the hearts in his eyes even when he scolds you. He is more likely to pout and sulk than actually dominate or scold you.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

At one point was 100% a playboy, so many girls and gut were throwing themselves at him, and Aonung didn’t say no. So, in theory, he is physically. But before you, Aonung never had an emotional relationship. So while he can rock your body into next week, he’s still learning the emotional ropes.

F= Favorite position

69, Aonung loved being able to eat your pussy while you please him. It doesn’t matter if you’re Na’vi or human; he will scrunch up to fit in a 69.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Surprisingly, I think Aonung has a bit of a funny bone. He won’t hesitate to giggle a bit when he’s kissing you. Why wouldn’t he? Aonung is giddy to be able to kiss you.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

Just like before, if the Na’vi have pubic hair, then Aonung is probably going to be in pristine condition. Perfectly shaped, shaved, and not a hair out of place.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Definitely loves having a romantic moment with you, sweet lovemaking (with the goal of breeding you), but if he gets the chance to dick you down on the beach, on an ilu, Aonung doesn’t care he’ll do it.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Absolutely, Aonung will jack off multiple times a day if he can’t find you. Aonung has mastered sneaking away from the crowd so he can handle his problem.

K= Kink (kinks they like, possibly unusual)

100% breeding kink, but he also secretly loves anal. Something about it being forbidden, and knowing that no one else has been there before.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Aonung has no preferences, beach, ocean, his marui, or someone else's marui… he doesn’t care as long as he has you.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Anything. Aonung is always ready to go; just the change in the wind and Aonung is itching to go.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Hurt you. Aonung will never lay a hand on you, not one spank, rough hair pull, nothing. The idea of seeing you hurt because of him is enough to make him sick.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Like I said, this man loves to 69. He is an overhyped puppy when faced with your pussy, eager to please, and never wants to leave from between your legs.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

I don’t think Aonung knows how to stop? He will keep going until his cock is raw and then will still try and fuck you a bit more.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

While Aonung prefers a nice romantic time with you, he will take what he can get. And if that means bending you over outback near a cove, he will love every minute with you.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Yes! Aonung is willing to try almost anything with you! There are quite a few things he’s interested in but is waiting for you to bring up because he doesn’t want to risk pushing you into it.

S= Stamina

Stamina for days, will fuck you until his cock is raw, and even then, will still try and fuck you some more; fyi, you will need to tell him to stop.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Aonung will definitely be weary about using human toys; this is the first time having seen human technology. And may take some convincing before he tests them. But once he does, Aonung definitely appreciates what the toys can do but ultimately prefers skin-on-skin and not a toy.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

Aonung has to be in the mood to tease you; most of the time, he isn't. But if you find him in the mood, then his go-to is edging. Bringing you close to the edge again and again is a dream of his. However, Aonung can't resist making you cum.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

Aonung is very vocal during sex; between moans, whines, growls, purrs, and talking, Aonung is always in your ear.

W= Wild card

Aonung loves to do it in the water. This boy is an aquaphiliac. Seeing you pose for him in the water gets him going like nothing else.

X= X-ray

Aonung has nothing to be shy about, packing a good 22 inches (56cm).

Y= Yearning

He doesn't stop, if you even look at him with the hint of bedroom eyes, and his tewng is on the floor. Aonung is ready morning, noon, and night; doesn't matter. And if you even think about falling asleep horny because you didn't want to wake him up at 2 in the morning, you will have a sulky boy on your hands.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

You have maybe 4 minutes if you're lucky...

🎶And another one bites the dust🎶

Still sick and bored, send me an idea?

Dividers by: @cafekitsune

[4am-enha]

i loved ur enha finding u crying story and was wondering if u could do one w jungwon comforting/cheering on their s/o while practicing hard/during their taekwondo match! i do taekwondo and jungwon is my bias and i may or may not always bring his pc to competitions as a sense of comfort. but tyy :)

A Kick in the Heart.

pairing: (gn) taekwondo student reader x s/o taekwondo partner jungwon

genre: fluff fluff fluff fluff

wc: ≈ 2k

description/tags: yang jungwon from enhypen, basically the ask above sums it up, comfort, support, frustration, “my love/dear” used, hand holding, hug, relationship, happy crying.

note: ello! thank you so much for requesting this, it’s such a cute idea (i’m also jungwon biased) and i honestly needed the motivation to write something on here. full disclaimer, i don’t really know anything about taekwondo because i have only done ju jitsu, so it might not be very accurate but i tried anyway ㅠㅠ. ily, you’re super cool and i hope you enjoy <3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

The ache in your legs only began to hurt more and you didn’t know how much longer you could tolerate the old smell from the mats your now shaky legs stood upon. You had been practicing restlessly for hours alone in the dojang this evening, pushing yourself past your limits, all in preparation for a huge competition coming up sooner than you would have liked it to be. The nerves and pre-comp anxiety you felt only pushed you to train harder, practice more. You had to be prepared and ready for this and you wouldn’t go down easy. What pushed you even harder was your taekwondo partner, who also happened to be your sweet and loving s/o, Yang Jungwon.

Maybe it was corny, but you took pride in impressing him. You desperately wanted to avoid being humiliated in front of him, even if he was the type of person to think you’re amazing no matter what. You had met him when you first joined taekwondo, and were partnered up with him for your first few classes. He had been doing taekwondo for a few years now, and was really, and I mean really good at it, so it was an honor to be the one to work with him back then. He was always the instructor's example for the other students and everyone looked up to him,

Especially you.

He was basically your idol in some sort of way, and you were determined to get to know him. Luckily, he was just as willing to learn about you and you soon became inseparable, spending every day together in and out of the dojang. You had this specific picture of him that you loved so much and you would always carry it around with you, which you would always look at for comfort before any big event or a match. Of course, he had one of you too. He called it his ‘good luck charm’ and whenever you couldn’t be where he was, he would bring the picture like you were there with him.

Usually you would always practice together but you had been insisting on practicing solo for this upcoming competition, even though he was also participating in the competition just in a different section. You didn’t tell him that you had been consistently almost living in the dojang when nobody else was using it for the past few weeks. In fact, Jungwon had started to get insanely worried about you because you just kept canceling on plans and missing out on everything. At first, he thought you might’ve been mad at him and maybe you were giving him the silent treatment- but you didn’t seem mad at all, and you weren’t necessarily ignoring him all-day-everyday either.

As he passed the simple yet so significant building where you would usually train alongside each other, today he noticed a light on where it shouldn’t have been. Only then it occurred to him exactly where you had been disappearing to. If there was anywhere you’d be before a competition, it was the dojang. He felt a little betrayed that you weren’t practicing with him though, and began to worry you might have found a new favorite training partner.

As he approached the entrance of the room, he could hear the smacks of your hits, exhausted breaths, and yells of frustration followed by a light thud. His eyes were both blessed and cursed with the sight of you as he entered. There you were, so beautiful, but so burnt out and sore. You had obviously taken a minute to catch your breath and you were laying on your back staring into the awfully bright ceiling completely lost in thought. He sighed and approached you quietly, quiet enough that you still hadn’t noticed him until he positioned and laid himself next to you.

You briefly turned your head to look at him and then looked back up at the ceiling and stayed silent. You knew he was about to nag the heck out of you for this, but you were just too tired and annoyed to even try fighting it or defend yourself. Jungwon laid there and stared at the ceiling as well, but he wasn’t silent for long.

“Why alone?” he uttered.

You shrugged in response, not sure how to answer yet and still a little surprised to see him unintentionally here right now.

“You really want to do well?” he questioned you rhetorically.

“Why is that even a question, you know I do,” you grumbled.

“Then don’t you want a companion?”

“You don’t need to train, you’re gonna win without any practice, you always do. I mean your name literally has ‘won’ in it,” you regarded with a smart tone.

“Who says you aren’t going to do just the same? You’re probably better than me-” he was cut off by the facial expression plastered on your face when you turned your head to meet his eyes. Your eyebrows were raised at him in a way of saying “be serious”.

“Okay at least let me help you a bit,” he sat up and took your arm to draw circles on it with his finger, “I don’t want you to seriously hurt yourself,” he pouted slightly.

You didn’t plan on it, but you ended up agreeing to let him train with you for a few hours. He was too precious to reject, and that cheesy plea on his face was too convincing. He got changed and returned quickly to begin practice with you.

About an hour in, you hit the ground pretty hard and screamed. Jungwon rushed to you in horror that he might’ve really injured you. But it wasn’t a scream of pain, it was an infuriated scream of failure and exhaustion. Jungwon understood.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna knock it out of the park,” Jungwon took your hand into his own, “I believe in you. You’re such a hard worker, and your determination is unmatched love. That’s why I love you so much, you know that.”

“I’m just afraid I’m not reaching my full potential. What if I don’t do good enough?” You began to fret frantically, doubting yourself left and right.

Jungwon turned your head to look at him and he simply smiled, dimples on full display. He tucked away a stray hair strand in your face and grabbed the little flannel from beside him, dabbing it on your forehead gently, “there is no ‘if’ when it comes to you. You can and will do your best, and at the end of the day you’re always the winner of my heart.”

“That’s so cringey,” you squirmed.

“You make me like that,” he patted your head softly and reached out to pull you up on your feet again, “let’s go get a treat, you deserve it.”

“The building is still open for another hour though-” you began.

“It’s enough practice my dear, you’re going to be swollen and too sore to participate on the day otherwise. Then all that hard work you put in will go to waste,” he tried to convince you.

You nodded and began to tidy up the space, “you're paying though, I left my money at home.”

【☆】★【☆】

The big day had arrived and the knots in your stomach and slight tremble proved it. You were up next, and Jungwon wasn’t there beside you. He was off doing his own match elsewhere. You wished you could’ve watched him, but you had your match at the same time as his and you knew he would win it anyway. He was a taekwondo genius after all.

You sneaked a glance at the picture of him you had and smiled. “I’ll win it for us,” you thought to yourself.

“You’re on now,” the person beside you guided you.

【☆】★【☆】

Just as you had predicted, Jungwon was currently winning his match, but it was getting a bit too close for comfort for him. His rival was actually a challenge and Jungwon almost slipped up a few times.

The thought of you was taking over his mind, which is probably why he wasn’t as focused as he usually was today. It was risky, but he couldn’t erase the thought of you right now. The immense guilt he felt that he couldn’t be there with you right now was suffocating. You had trained until you literally dropped and he was missing it. All he wanted was to be holding you right now and he was so concerned for your health and safety. If someone hurt you, he swears he would go after them.

The thought of you motivated him and he began to pick up his pace again to get this match over and done with. Quickly, Jungwon won the match and cheers were heard from all around the space, but he didn’t celebrate. Not at all. Jungwon rushed off the area and ran like lightning towards where your match was. He pushed through people and almost fell over a few times until he reached the sight of you.

You were losing the lead of your match, but still working hard to win.

Until you heard it.

The enthusiastic cheer from a familiar voice of someone you absolutely adored.

“THATS MY Y/N!”

You caught a glimpse of him to confirm it; Jungwon had basically become something like the flash to support you in your match. He was jumping up and down, yelling your name like an obsessive American soccer mom. It made you giggle to yourself, and almost distracted you.

“FOCUS” is all you could hear from Jungwon now, he was like a coach.

But maybe that’s all you needed. Just, Jungwon.

Because you won your match, even after coming dangerously close to losing. You couldn’t believe it and you stood paralyzed in shock. This win was huge for you because this was a really important and popular competition. Taekwondo students from all around the country had come together for it.

When it was okay to, Jungwon darted over to you and captured you into a tight hug, spinning you around a little, “YOU DID GREAT!”

You had missed his warmth and embrace so badly, and you were so surprised to see him before the end of your match- that you had just won- that you felt tears well up in your eyes.

“Why are you crying my love?” He hugged you tighter.

“You’re drenched in sweat, that’s so gross” you joked.

“Oh I’m so sorry I just-“ Jungwon didn’t get the memo that it was just a joke.

“They’re happy tears,” you interrupted him and cried out, letting them finally fall from your eyes. You tightened your grasp on him, heart full of love. When suddenly, you heard Jungwon begin to sniffle too.

“Wait, why are YOU crying?” You looked at him, the skin around his eyes starting to glow a light red as he wiped your own tears with his thumbs.

“Happy tears, because I’m so proud of you. You’re such an amazing person, and you’re all mine.”

No award could amount to the achievement he felt being able to call you his.

… end …

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

an: ty for reading! lmk what you guys thought, all notes are appreciated and feedback is encouraged!! i’m sorry if there’s a lot of mistakes- i can’t see what i’m typing very well because of the tumblr bug rn where the text is barely visible ugh. have a great day loves~ ENHA COMEBACK OTW HEHEHEHAR.

[romanticbat]

HEY SORRY RETURNING BUT IDEA!

It's dark...about...3 am the tv is being all staticy as a hand comes out...followed by an entire wally who immediately freaks the fuck out and tries to get back inside banging on the glass screaming

...something is in there....something that's taken his form...its not him...whatever IT is could hurt his neighbors his friends and now...theres nothing he can do..at least at this rate

Turns out said dark house is owned by trans masc s\o who is also freaking out because there is a screaming puppet in his living room and he knocks it out with a pan

When wally wakes he is still...freaked out and he and s\o kinda get to know each other become friends...and wally gets to learn about and experience the real world! While trying to get back to his

Like season 3 of both the owl house and amphibia!

Also sorry if this was way too specific I just had....to say these words

If could make hcs or a One shot or...something that would be cool...

DON'T WORRY, I LIKED IT

(I don't even know how to title these hcs)

Wally felt how his body was getting dragged to who knows where by god knows who, he inmediatly felt strange when it stopped, his body felt different, everything felt different, he was scared and when he looked at what was in front of him, he saw a tiny version of him... Sitting in a sofa and looking at him directly in the eyes, he screamed loudly than never, hoping that one of his dear neighbors came to his help but for his horror he was greeted by someone who looked nothing like any of his neighbors and looked a little much bigger than him... Which started to scream as loudly as him and hitted him with a pan after.

- It was strange, obviously, not everyday you get dragged to another dimension and not everyday a puppet from another dimension which is from your recently new interest get dragged to yours

- the first trouble (besides all the first drama) was that you had old merchandise from the show

- He got a little scared to see pins and plushies of him in your bedroom...

- but hey! That means you like him

- his new diet basically was apple based food in every meal, apples are easy to found and now it exists apple products which are shapped like apples!

- He was your favorite character, you were excited to talk to him of course! But it was strange meeting him as a puppet and not like the books

- You two getted to know eachother after a while

- Wally was like "This guy is actually friendly" while you were like "Why is Wally Darling eating an apple in my living room"

- you tried your best at helping him find a way to his home but... There is no much information about what to do if a puppet with life appears randomly one day at your house in google

- if you ever got the confidence with him to tell him about you being transmasc he will be very supportive

- you were friendly, a little tall but friendly and give him apples! You were a nice guy and that if you were born AFAB don't changes anything

- Supportive puppet friend will comfort you if somebody says something rude to you

- if you have any pets he would love to play with them! Until you have a cat or dog and they try to chase and bite him

- yeah... You better be careful if you don't want him to die before you get to know how to get him home

- He will talk to you about his friends and will love if you talk about yours too!

- if you have any plushies of his friend he will steal them and hug them to sleep

- he loves your home so much, it's interesing for him look at the things that make your home yours

- like, a significan picture, a plushie, any room, furniture...

- he sometimes forgot that he is not actually in his home

[da-rulah]

hello! i’m not sure if you’re comfortable writing about this and i apologize deeply if you aren’t, but can i have some hcs on how copia would react to his s/o telling him about their very hard childhood for the first time? like abuse or things like that? but not specific into what happened, just how he would react?

i’m sorry if this crosses your boundaries, i don’t mean to do that at all!

i hope you’re doing well! <3 i love your writing

Hey lovely! To make this a comfort piece for people with all manners of trauma, I'm not going to write about any specific instances and I'm going to keep it quite vague. It'll also help to steer clear of potential triggers for anyone who reads it.

But I hope you enjoy a little comfort from our favourite silly little rat man 🖤

It was just a photo, and yet the memories it brought back had triggered such an exponential meltdown that you now found yourself sobbing silently on the floor of your bathroom. That in itself was a trauma response; having to cry silently as to not attract attention. Something you'd learned during your childhood.

When Copia had come home that evening after a long day of writing new music for the Ghost Project, he was disappointed to find your quarters cold, dark and empty. Where you were, he had no idea, but he figured you may be home soon.

It wasn't until he wondered over to the bathroom the clean his face of his papal paints that he saw the strip of light from underneath the door, and the silence that felt deafening from the other side.

"Amore, I'm home," he announced - no response. "Amore?" He tried the handle, to no avail.

"S-sorry, I'll be out in.. a sec..." your voice shook at you stood from the floor, desperately wiping at the tearful streaks on your cheeks. Copia knew something was wrong, but he waited patiently. When you unlocked the door and stood before him, averting your eyes, his heart ached.

"Tesoro... Why so sad, eh? Did something happen?" he held your shoulders, rubbing his gloved thumbs in circles to comfort you.

"Nothing, no, I just..." you took a deep breath, finally making eye contact with a tiny shy smile, "bad memories, that's all."

He searched your eyes for a moment, then slid his hands down your arms to meet your hands, lacing his fingers with yours. Slowly, he guided you to the couch and sat with you.

"Tell me everything, cara mio."

And you did; every sordid memory from your childhood, sparked by finding that damn photo in a trinket box you'd found when you'd been cleaning the tops of your wardrobe.

Every so often, you would see flashes of anger, utter rage flickering in his eyes like flames stoked inside him. In some strange way, it made you feel vilified, validated when you would see it - like you were allowed to be angry at the trauma you had been put through. It hadn't ever been your fault.

Copia was horrified by what he was hearing, but he stayed quiet as you poured your suffering out, laying it bare for him to see. He held you as you cried, kissed away a few of the stray tears, removed his gloves so he could rub soothing circles into the backs of your hands with his thumbs. He was just there, listening.

"You must think I'm so damaged," you chuckled without a hint of humour when you'd finished, staring at your hands in his in shame.

"Senza senso, (nonsense), I think you are the strongest person I have ever had the pleasure to meet, amore." He lifted your hands to kiss your knuckles. "You know, like when a bone breaks... it heals itself over time, and it becomes the strongest part of the bone after. That's you, tesoro. Stronger than before."

Your lip trembled at his sweet words.

"What did I do to deserve you?" you smiled, a few tears dripping to your cheeks again - happiness that you had such a kind man to live alongside.

"You suffered, amore. And now, you no longer have to suffer. Not here, not with me."

He pressed a kiss to your cheeks, one for every tear, before pressing one final, lingering kiss to your lips.

He was right - you didn't have to suffer any longer. Not with Copia at your side.

[signedeclipse]

Can I ask for a request for some headcanons about a fem kakushi s/o to some Hashira? Specifically Kyroguro, Giyu, Gyomei and Sanemi?

I haven't seen a kakushi request before, so it might be pretty cool!

Giyuu

Giyuu was actually quite fond of the kakushi

They didn't have any sort of levels, just people who wanted to help the slayer cause in a way that wasn't through fighting

Much like the swordsmiths, their role was integral to the corps

But he also wasn't fond of talking or interacting...or being near anyone

So, unfortunately, he wasn't able to display this appreciation as much as he may feel it

Nonetheless, that didn't stop you, the one assigned to his well-being from always being around

You took care of the water manor, his wounds, and any meetings he didn't want to go to

He would leave food behind for you, nicely packaged and try to keep his place tidy so you wouldn't have to waste your time on it

he got so used to you being there for him that it became mutual, and eventually dipped into the romantic side of things

No one would notice, though, it was too subtle, and it never seemed like anything changed

Just as Giyuu liked, out of the publics eye

Gyomei

Oh, you had to be strong as all hell to remain a kakushi to the stone hashira

Mostly because he lived up a mountain and was hard to follow or track down

That's why you were specialized, it took many years, but Gyomei got used to you being his only helper to make it through every mission

Perhaps there were more reasons than just luck or strength because you were the only one he trusted to act as his eyes when he needed

Everyone else made such a big deal of it or got too touchy, but you'd just click your tongue, so he knew you were there

It was apparent you were closer than what many perceived, but for the most part, you two keep your romances behind closed doors

The last thing you needed was someone or something getting blackmail when you were his only backup

Kyojuro

Oh, he's so obvious about it

All kinds of kakushi help him, but he likes the way you do things most, and you, that he always requests your attendance no matter where he goes

It was hard to keep up with him, though, so he had to learn to give you some time and space since you weren't precisely slayer level, let alone hashira

Others didn't hear enough about you either, especially not after the day he first got to see your face without the mask kakushi wore

He wouldn't want you to come to his aid in battle anymore as you become more official, and he would keep his wounds as they were until it was you who tended to them

You became one of the most well-respected kakushi nonetheless, and Kyojuro loves watching you train the new ones

He would also request you help his brother Senjuro learn about what the kakushi do because he seems to like the idea of that a lot more

Melts seeing you care for his little brother, his heart can't take it!

Sanemi

Sanemi was never fond of anyone

Not that he would be inherently rude to the kakushi, he just didn't pay them any mind and moved along

He also didn't ask much for their help

So why were you and him always chatting, always seen in glimpses together

Why did he prefer your help to Shinobu's when damaged?

He said he felt it a waste of time to bother a hashira that could be out killing demons

That he'd rather not be seen in a bad state and hide in his home

In reality, he just wanted to enjoy more of your company during his downtime

He prods at you for being too weak to become a slayer, but he learns to stop doing that while you are stitching his arm back together

Not that he can't handle the pain, of course not, he just rather not face your wrath when you have a weapon

Authors Note - This was such a cute request! Thank you for the suggestion, I hop eyou enjoy it <3

[larrydempsey]

“But I’m Feeling Much Better Now, Conclusion”

After I graduated from high school, Tom taught me how to drive.  Unlike every other teenager in the universe, I had no interest in getting behind the wheel of a car when I was going to school.  I wanted my uncle (my mom’s brother) to teach me how, since he was a part-time driving instructor, but Tom said there was no way anyone else was going to teach me.     Using Tom’s two-door, silver stick-shift Honda hatchback (which later became my car), I learned to drive in industrial parks, empty parking lots, and on dirt roads outside of town.  It wasn’t fun – either the driving or having to spend more time with Tom – but at least I made it through him trying to teach me something without crying, like I did when I was younger.  That’s progress.     The main reason Tom wanted to teach me how to drive was so I would be able to drive to work.  I strongly suspected he wanted me to get a job and move away from home as soon as possible so he wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.

I went out looking for jobs where I thought I could make use of my creative skills, places like newspapers, print shops, photo studios, and videographers.  I took examples of my artwork with me to show them what I could do.  But it was pointless.  While they considered me “good,” I wasn’t good enough.  It didn’t help that I didn’t have any real experience or a college degree.  It was naive of me to think I could get a decent job right out of high school.  They took my résumé (such as it was), but I never heard back from any of them.

Since I couldn’t find a “real” job, Tom put me to work on two projects he had going on around town (not that I had a choice).  The first was helping out on the new house that he was having built for his parents, who were moving up from Oregon so they could live near us.  Some of my duties included tidying up the worksite, like sweeping inside the house and picking up stray nails and boards outside.  I also spent days spreading multiple coats of tar sealant on the exterior of the concrete foundation with a paint roller at the end of a long stick.     One afternoon, on the drive home from picking me up, Tom asked me how I liked working on the house.  I don’t remember what I said specifically, only that it wasn’t too enthusiastic.  Tom got angry and confused, wondering why I wasn't thrilled with my new job.  He said, “You don’t seem too excited.”  I thought to myself, “Excited?  I spend all day working with stuff that smells worse than shit.  If I got any more excited, I’d fall into a coma.”     After that, Tom got me a job working at the first Super 1 grocery store when it was being built, since he was the architect for it and had an “in” with the owner.  At the time I was hired, the store was still an enormous concrete shell, big and (mostly) empty, with random metal shelving, refrigeration equipment, and mountains of cardboard, clear plastic, and styrofoam packing material scattered everywhere.  It felt like a huge, dark airplane hanger.  I was assigned to crawl around on my hands and knees on a concrete floor all day wearing hard plastic knee pads and dragging a shop vac behind me, cleaning and vacuuming inside the bases of hundreds of shelving units.  Just like working on Tom’s parent's house, this job was hot as hell as well, with sweat dripping off my face as I breathed in dust from drywall and fought back nausea.  I’m convinced Tom intentionally found me the crappiest jobs he could find just to torture me.

I remember the last place Tom, my mom, my sister, and I went together as a family (well, the four of us together, that is).  We went to the Silverwood theme park, which had just opened for the first time a couple months earlier.  I had no interest in seeing it, but Tom wanted to, as it was the big new thing in town at the time.     Right before we left home, Tom and I got into a huge argument (over something about which I have no idea, but knowing me, I probably didn’t want to go – or go anywhere with him).  I think Mom and my sister were already in the car in the garage, waiting for the two of us to come out.  I wanted to tell Mom about the argument when I got in the car, but I couldn’t since she was one of “the parents.”  But I felt things shift that day.  It was the first time I saw Mom separately from Tom.  They were no longer one unit; this formidable force of the two of them ganged up on me.  Instead, I saw Tom as my adversary and Mom as someone with whom I would soon be able to confide.     There was hardly anything at Silverwood in its early days.  There was the train (which people could use to ride around the perimeter of the park) and a few rides and shops.  I remember riding on the train, sitting in my seat (comfortably far from Tom, naturally), not enjoying it or paying attention to where I was or what was going on.  Mom asked what was wrong, but I didn’t want to say anything, at least not at that point, so I kept it to myself.  All I could do was sit there and think about that big argument I had with Tom and how I could possibly endure living with him for much longer.  Tom and I were seriously becoming enemies.

Tom went out with some friends late one night.  He came home around 2:30 in the morning.  Mom and Tom immediately got into an argument over why he was coming home so late, where he was, and who he was with.  During the argument, he burst into my bedroom and demanded to know what was going on and why Mom was so worked up.  Piss off, buddy.  You’re not getting any help from me.  Mom later found out that Tom had been out dancing with a woman he’d recently met, a woman with whom he’d been spending a lot of time and getting a little too closely acquainted (FORESHADOWING!).     Things quickly started to deteriorate after that.  The tension was constant, and arguments erupted almost every day.  The end was near and inevitable.

After a brief and explosive argument between Tom and Mom one night, Mom threw a large calculator at him (the only thing within arm’s reach), and Tom made a mad dash for the back door.  The sight of him jumping in the car and screeching out of the garage, like the coward he was, is still one of my favorite memories (too bad about the calculator, though; it never quite worked the same after that).  Tom returned not long after, but not for very long.     Near the end of summer and two days before my mom’s birthday, Tom left us for good.  My mom, my sister, and I were watching TV in the living room.  Tom was sitting at the table in the dining room, working on who knows what.  Without warning, he quietly got up from the table, walked out to the garage, got in the car, and left.  We heard him leave, but we didn’t think anything of it at the time – at least not until he didn't come home that night.     When Tom eventually came back a few days later to pick up some clothes and a few other things to bring to the hotel at which he’d been staying, he told my mom that when he heard us laughing at the TV, he felt like he “didn't belong.”  Apparently, the sound of the three of us enjoying whatever show we were watching was the final straw that convinced him we were no longer a family (if we ever really were one).  Tom filed for divorce shortly after.

When the news was going around that my parents were going to get a divorce, my mom’s longtime best friend (who she’d known since first grade) called Tom and invited him to go fishing with her and her husband.  Read that again if you need to.  I’ll wait.

Not long after my parents separated, Mom went to visit Tom while he was working on his parents’ new house.  She asked him if there was any way he would consider coming back and working things out.  Tom turned her down.  To this, Mom replied, “It’s a good thing you said that, or the kids would have left.”  It’s not that she actually wanted him back, but she thought she’d ask, just to see what his response would be.  Tom added that his reason for not wanting to get back together was that he and Mom “didn’t click.”

With Tom gone, we needed money coming in.  Any potential child support was a long way off (but only for my sister since I’d turned 18 earlier that spring).  So after abandoning my delusions of finding a job doing something I liked or was good at, I took whatever I could get.     Mom and I found temporary employment at a computer keyboard plant doing mind-numbing assembly line work.  That lasted for about a month.  After that was over, Mom landed the first in a long line of jobs in retail, while my career path quickly led me to the first of an endless string of janitor jobs.  Everything I was capable of doing, all my “gifts” and “talents,” were useless.  The only jobs I could get were cleaning toilets.

Whenever Tom came over to the house to discuss the divorce, at some point he’d get pissed off and storm out.  Every time.  He’d get up, stomp across the living room, and then dart out the front door, slamming the door behind him.  Every meeting ended the same way, except for one night.  On that night, I jumped up and made it to the door before he did.  As he reached for the doorknob, I grabbed him by the front of his coat with both hands and threw him down into the nearest chair.  He was scared out of his mind, which I could tell from the look of horror on his face, his eyes bulging and his bottom lip trembling.  That was the first time I ever stood up to him.  He never tried storming out again.      Tom later accused my mom of turning my sister and me against him.  Sorry, dude.  She didn’t have to turn us against you.  We never liked you in the first place.  We were glad you left.  Sure, we would be worse off financially, but we would be far better off without you around.      During the divorce trial, Tom was on the stand, and Mom’s lawyer asked Tom when my birthday was.  It seems like a simple enough question, right?  A father should know his children’s birthdays.  After hemming and hawing, obviously having trouble remembering when I was born, he finally said a date – but it was the wrong one.     We had to move out of our second house after the divorce.  We were forced to sell it so Tom could get his half of the money.  We sold all but a quarter acre of our land, took our half of the money, and built a new house on it (that was our third house, for those keeping track).

Not long into Tom’s second marriage (married to the woman with whom he was out dancing before he divorced my mom), my sister and I received a long letter from his new wife, going on and on about how great a man he was, how downhearted he felt about his children ignoring him, and demanding that we treat him better.  Sorry.  No sympathy here.  He treated us like crap, and he’s the victim?  I thought, “Give it time.  You’ll find out what he's really like.”

Tom bought me a computer drawing program one Christmas, probably trying to impress his new wife by pretending he was a good father.  I told him I already had that program.  Three months later, he mailed me the receipt so I could take it back.  The receipt was my birthday present.

Tom came into our new house once, and only once.  I was home alone one afternoon.  Mom must have been at work.  I don’t know where my sister was – either at work or school, probably.  The doorbell rang, and I answered the door.  I couldn’t believe who I saw standing on the other side of it.  I should have just slammed the door, but, being the polite guy (and wimp) that I am, I let him in.  He wanted me to sign a birthday card for his father.  Trying to choke back fake tears, Tom said he thought his father wasn’t going to be around much longer (which was a complete exaggeration; his father was fine; he lived for many more years).  He asked me if I could also draw a little something, too, so I did a ballpoint pen drawing of Superman on the left-hand side of the inside of the card.  I’m assuming his birthday card request was just an excuse to see the inside of our new house.

Tom wanted to pay to send both my sister and me to college, even after the divorce.  Sounds good, right?  Who would turn that down?  Me, for one.  Accepting his offer meant him buying his way into my life again.  First, it would mean he thought he could see me or talk to me whenever he wanted to.  Second, he would hold it over me.  If and when I ever made something of myself, he’d want to take credit for my success since he was the one who paid for my education.  Sorry.  Not interested.  We finally got rid of that asshole.  I didn’t want him back in our lives.  My sister accepted his offer, though, and went to college on his dime a few years later, after she moved to Seattle.     Mom encouraged both of us to take Tom for as much as we could.  While I can see that point of view and I can see why my sister did it, I couldn't do the same.  In my opinion, the bad outweighed the good.  And yes, because my sister accepted Tom’s money, she had to talk to him on the phone and visit with him in person whenever he wanted.

Tom’s second marriage lasted about ten years.  But shockingly, its demise wasn’t due to anything Tom had done (well, not entirely).  It turns out his new wife and her son had been stealing money from his parents.  Pity.  I thought she was the one.

About a year or so after Tom’s second divorce, Mom and I went out to eat at Pizza Hut one night.  Tom came in with a young girl (no older than her 20s or 30s, compared to him in his late 50s).  When I went up to the salad bar, Tom got up and came over to talk to me.  I told him I had recently done some published comic book work (me, having recently had some success in the artistic field and something to brag about).  He said he wanted a copy.  I agreed to give him one, just so I could get away from him.  Later, as Mom and I were leaving, I stopped at the table where Tom was sitting on the same side of the booth as the girl.  I told him, “You’re getting them younger all the time, aren’t you?”  He smiled and laughed, assuming I had said something funny, not realizing what I’d actually said.  But once he finally achieved comprehension, his eyebrows dropped, and his smile quickly faded.  Next, I asked, “How do you live with yourself?”  I walked away from the table and headed toward the door.  When I reached the door, I turned around, and there he was, standing right behind me, looking super pissed.  I got right in his face and said, “Sit the fuck down.”  I turned around and walked out the door without looking back.  That was the second time I ever stood up to him and the first time I ever cussed at him.  It felt great.     The next time I saw Tom was at my grandmother’s funeral (my mom’s mother’s).  He was all chummy-chummy with me, either forgetting what had happened at Pizza Hut or pretending it didn’t happen.  My other grandmother (Tom’s mother) was also there.  She came up to me, sobbing, wondering why I never visited them, even though we live in the same town.  The reason I never visited is because I hated her and her husband almost as much as I hated Tom.  Besides not liking them personally, why would I want anything to do with the two people who spawned the devil, who was my father?  I told her I’d visit, completely lying through my teeth.     The last time I saw Tom was across a grocery store parking lot late one evening.  He was with his fifth wife (you read that right: fifth).  He kept waving at me, trying to get me to come over to talk to him.  I kept ignoring him, pretending I didn’t see or hear him.  He eventually gave up and entered the store.

I still remember where I was when I heard that Tom had died.  I was picking Mom up from work, and she told me the news after she got in the car (she heard the news from her brother, who called her earlier in the day).  I couldn’t have been happier.  Giddy is too small a word.  My first thought was that I wanted to know where he was going to be buried so I could go pee on his grave.  We found out later that it’s in another state, so I haven’t gone there yet.  But I look forward to it.

Tom, along with my bullies and my teachers, seriously screwed me up.  If it weren't for them, I wouldn’t be enjoying the anxiety, depression, obesity, OCD, PTSD, low self-esteem, and poor self-image issues from which I suffer every day.  Who knows how much happier I could have been and how much further I could have gotten in life if they had simply left me alone?  Regardless, I’m working really hard to like myself now, to enjoy my own company, and to not put myself down so much in an effort to undo some of the damage they did to me.  It's not easy.  And it’s been a long,8slow process.  But I’m trying.  Wish me luck.

Copyright © 2023 Larry Dempsey.  All rights reserved.

Commentary for "But I’m Feeling Much Better Now"

[sineala]

How would you say fandom culture has changed over the years? What are some differences you notice between older and younger fandom folks?

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to answer this, and I’m not sure I have a really good answer, but I’m going to try.

I’ve been in fandom since approximately 1995. Maybe 1994. At that point, the world wide web was a relatively new part of the internet, and the fandoms I was in had most of their activity on privately-hosted mailing lists (predating eGroups/OneList/Yahoo Groups) and on Usenet newsgroups, with fiction beginning to be available on websites as part of either fandom-specific or pairing-specific archives as well as authors’ individual pages. Fanfiction.net did not yet exist. LiveJournal did not exist. AO3 definitely did not exist. If you wanted real-time chat, there was IRC. I was coming in basically at the tail end of zine fandom; zines were no longer the only way of distributing fanfiction, as fandom started to move online. So I have a selection of zines from 90s-era Western media fandoms but even by then zines weren’t where I was doing most of my reading.

I think in terms of generally “what it was like to be in fandom,” the big-picture stuff hasn’t changed. Fandom still produces creative fanwork and likes to, y’know, get together and talk about fandom. Also, almost every fight or complaint that fandom has about something is a thing that has been going on for actual years. People complain that, say, the kudos button is ruining comment culture because back in the LJ days the only way you could comment on a story was, well, by leaving an actual comment, or sending an email on a mailing list, and this might mean that people who would have otherwise commented have left a kudos instead. But back in the LJ and mailing list days, people were complaining that commenting was going downhill since the days of zines, when in order to comment on a story you had to write a real paper letter and mail it and because you had to do that, the quality of feedback was so much better than you got nowadays because people could just dash off a quick email or comment. You get the idea. Top/bottom wars are not new either. Pairing wars are not new. If you’ve been in fandom a while, you will pretty much have seen all the fights already. I think one thing that is new, though, is the fandom awareness of things like privilege and intersectionality and various -isms, as well as things like “providing warnings might be nice” (do you know how much unwarned deathfic I have read? a lot!) and I sure won’t say we’re perfect at any of this now, but I think fandom is trying way way more about all that stuff than it used to.

There are some fights we actually don’t have anymore, as far as I can tell. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen the “real person fiction is wrong” battle, but also I don’t hang out in a whole lot of RPF fandoms, so it’s possible that’s still going and I just don’t see it.

There also used to be a recurring debate about whether gay relationships that were canonical were slash or not. When slash started, obviously this wasn’t a question because there weren’t canonical gay relationships in fandoms, period. But as gay characters began to appear in media, people started to wonder “does slash mean all same-sex relationships, or does slash mean only non-canonical same-sex relationships?” Now, you may be reading this and think that sounds like an incredibly weird thing to get hung up on, but that’s because what appears to have happened is that the term “ship” (originally from X-Files Mulder/Scully fandom) has, as far as I can tell, come up and eaten most of the rest of the terminology. Now people will just say, “oh, I ship that.” For any pairing, gay or not, canonical or not. Fandom seems to have decided that for the most part it no longer actually needs a term specific to same-sex relationships as a genre.

Similarly, there are a few genres of fic that we used to have also pretty much don’t exist anymore. There are also plenty of genres that are well-entrenched now that are also extremely recent -- A/B/O comes to mind. But there are some kinds of fic we don’t write a lot of now. Like, I haven’t seen smarm in years! I also haven’t seen We’re Not Gay We Just Love Each Other in a while. There was also a particular style of slash writing where you’d basically have to explain, in detail, what made you think that these particular characters could be anything other than straight. You’d have to motivate this decision. You’d have to look at their canonical heterosexual relationships and come up with a way to explain why all those had happened in order to reconcile how this one guy could have romantic feelings for another guy. When had he figured out he wasn’t straight? Who might he have been with before? How does he interact with people in ways that make you think he’s not straight? That kind of thing. You had to, essentially, show your work. And these days a lot of fanfic is just like, “Okay, Captain America is bisexual, let’s go!” It’s... different.

Fandom also used to skew older, is my sense. A lot older. I don’t know, actually, if it really was older, but I get the sense now that there are some younger people who are surprised that adults are still in fandom. I have seen people saying these days that they think they’re too old for fanfiction because they are not in middle school anymore. And I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the barriers to access fandom are a lot lower than they used to be. You used to basically have to be an adult with disposable income (or know an adult with disposable income who was willing to help you out; but even then if you were reading explicit fiction you also had to swear you were 18+, usually by sending in an age statement to whoever you were buying the zine from or to the mods of the list you wanted to join, so a lot of fandom was very much age-gated). Internet access was not widely available. Even if you had internet access, you maybe didn’t have your own email address, so you couldn’t sign up for mailing lists; free email providers didn’t exist. If you wanted to buy zines, you had to have money to buy them. If you wanted to go to cons, you had to be able to afford the cost of the con, travel to the con, et cetera. If you wanted to have a website you had to know HTML. Social media did not exist. You want to draw art? Guess what, you’re probably drawing it on paper! You might be able to upload a picture to your website if you have a digital camera or a scanner, but both of those things are expensive, and also a lot of people don’t have the capability or the money to download pictures from the internet (some people have data caps with overage charges, and some people have text-only connections!), so they won’t get to see it. Maybe you can sell your piece at a con! You want to make a fanvid? We called them songvids, but, anyway, you know how you’re doing that? You’re going to hook two VCRs together and smash the play and record buttons very fast! If you want anyone else to watch them, you are either making them a tape personally and mailing it to them or bringing your vids to a convention. Maybe you can digitize them and upload them, but it’s going to take people hours to download them!

(Every three hours my ISP would kick me off the internet and I’d have to dial in again. If it was a busy time of day, it might take me 20 or 30 minutes to get a connection again. And that was assuming no one else in the house needed to use the phone line. Imagine if your modem went out every three hours now.)

And now, for the cost of my internet connection, I can read pretty much whatever fanfiction I want, whenever I want it. I can see all the fanart I want! I can watch vids! Podfic exists now! Fanmixes exist! Gifsets and moodboards exist! If I want to write fic I can write it with programs that are completely free, and as soon as I post it everyone in the entire world can read it. If I want to draw or make vids that may require some additional investment, but I may also be able to do it with things I already have. Do you have any idea how good we all have it?

There are a couple of kinds of fan activity that don’t seem to exist anymore, though, and I miss them. I know that roleplaying still goes on, but I feel like these days most people who do real-time text roleplay have switched to things like Discord. I know that in the LJ days, RP communities were popular. But I really miss MU*s (MUDs, MUSHes, MOOs, MUXes..), which were servers for real-time text-based RP with a bunch of... hmm... features to aid RP. There were virtual rooms with text descriptions, and objects in virtual rooms with descriptions, and your character had a description, and they could interact with the objects as well as with other characters, and you could program things to change descriptions or emit various kinds of text or take you to different rooms, and so on. Just to, y’know, enhance the atmosphere. It was fun and it was where I learned to RP and I’m sad they’re pretty much gone now.

I also don’t think I see a lot of fanfiction awards in fandoms. Wonder where they went.

Going back to the previous point, the barriers to actually consuming the canon you are fannish about are way, way, way lower now. You can pretty much take it for granted that if right now someone tells you about a shiny new fandom, there will be a way to read that book or watch that show or movie right now. Possibly for free! Of course you can watch it! Why wouldn’t you be able to?

This was absolutely, absolutely not the case before. I’m currently in Marvel Comics fandom. If there is a comic I want to read, I can read it right now on the internet. I have subscribed to Marvel Unlimited and I can read pretty much every comic that is older than three months old; the newer ones cost extra money. But I can do it all from the comfort of my own home right now. I was also, actually, in Marvel Comics fandom in the nineties. If I wanted to read a comic, I had to go to a comic book store and hope they had it in stock; if they didn’t, I had to try another store. Not a lot of comics were available in trade paperback and they definitely weren’t readable on the internet. I used to read a lot of Gambit h/c fic set after Uncanny X-Men #350. I never found a copy of UXM #350. I still haven’t! But I did eventually read it on Unlimited.

Being in TV show fandoms also had similar challenges. Was the show you were watching still on the air? No? Then you’d better hope you could find it in reruns, or know someone who had tapes of it that they could copy for you, otherwise you weren’t watching that show. It was, I think, pretty common for people to be in fandoms for shows they hadn’t seen, because they had no way to see the show, but they loved all the fanfic. The Sentinel had a whole lot of fans like that, both because I think it took a while for it to end up in reruns and because overseas distribution was probably poor. So you’d get people who read the fic and wrote fic based on the other fic they’d read, which meant that you got massive, massive amounts of fanon appearing that people just assumed was in the show because it was a weirdly specific detail that appeared in someone’s fic once. Like “Jim and Blair’s apartment has a small water heater” (not actually canonical) or “Blair is a vegetarian” (there’s an episode where his mother visits and IIRC cooks him one of his favorite meals, which is beef tongue).

Like, I was in The Professionals fandom for years. I read all the fic. I hadn’t seen the show. As far as I know, it never aired in the US, and it certainly never had any kind of US VHS or DVD release. I’d seen a couple songvids. I eventually saw a couple episodes in maybe 2003, and that was because my dad special-ordered a commercial VHS tape from the UK and paid someone to convert it from PAL to NTSC. I didn’t get to see the whole show until several years later when I got a region-free DVD player someone in fandom sent me burned copies of the UK DVD releases and then I special-ordered the commercial release of the DVDs from the UK myself. But if I were a new fan and wanted to watch Pros right now? It is on YouTube! For free!

I think also one of the things about fandom that’s not immediately evident to new fans is the way in which it is permanent and/or impermanent. There are probably people whose first fannish experience is on Tumblr or who only read fanfic on FFN and who have no idea what they would do if either site, say, just shut down. But if you’ve been in fandom a while, you’ve been through, say, Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Pillowfort, Imzy, DW, JournalFen, LJ, GeoCities, IRC, mailing lists. And sure, if Tumblr closed, it would be inconvenient. But fandom would pack up and move somewhere else. You would find it again. It would, eventually, be okay. Similarly, if you’ve been in a lot of fandoms, if you’ve made a lot of friends, drifting through fandoms is like that. You’ll make a friend in 1998 because you were in the same fandom, and then you might go your own ways, and ten years later you might be in another fandom with them again! It happens.

But the flip side of that is that I think a lot of older fans have learned not to trust in the permanence of any particular site. If you like a story, you save it as soon as you read it. If you like a piece of art, you save it. If you like a vid, you save it. Because you don’t know when the site it’s on will be gone for good. I have, like, twenty years of lovingly-curated fanfic. And I feel like people who have only been in fandom since AO3 existed might not understand how much AO3 is a game-changer compared to what we had before. It’s a site where you can put your fic up and you don’t have to worry that the webhost is going out of business, or that the site might delete your work because they don’t allow gay fiction or explicit fiction or fiction written in second person or fiction for fandoms where the creator doesn’t like fanfiction, or whatever. Because all of those things have absolutely happened. But, I mean, I still save pretty much everything I like, even on AO3, just in case.

So, basically, yeah, fandom is a whole lot more accessible than it used to be. I think fandom is pretty much still fandom, but it’s a lot easier to get into, and that has made it way more open to people who wouldn’t have been able to be in fandom before. There is so, so much more now than there ever was before, and I think that’s great.

[octoagentmiles]

hhhhhh GUP headcanons >:)

A:

It's blue because it's Barnacles' favourite colour.

It's the oldest of the main GUPs, Tweak built it after she finished building the first Octopod.

She always planned to make more, but was too busy back then. (She would've been juggling engineer AND lieutenant roles, considering Kwazii wasn't around yet.)

A stands for Anglerfish and "Action".

B:

Was originally dark blue, until Kwazii came along and painted it.

One of the second oldest GUPs, Tweak built it and the GUP-C around the same time—a few years after Dashi joined the crew. (Their crew was expanding, so she figured they needed more GUPs in case there were two emergencies at once that called for one.)

It's too fast for Barnacles to drive. If Kwazii hadn't come along, they might've scrapped it. (Or indefinitely thrown it into storage, like the GUP-O.)

B stands simply for "B" because it's the second in the series, and for "Boost" because of it's boosted power/speed.

C:

Blue and yellow because Tweak started to run out of blue paint.

Third oldest GUP: See above. Tweak added the towline because she knew the GUP-B was going to get wrecked a few times, and there'd probably been some times where the GUP-A crashed and they had no idea how to get it home.

A vehicle and rescue line saves the day every time <3

C stands for "C" and for "Crane" because of the anchor crane thing it has. (*cough* could also be "anChor" but,, eh)

D:

Fully yellow because blue paint?? Gone.

As soon as Kwazii was made lieutenant, and Tweak had more free time, she IMMEDIATELY got to work on the GUP-D.

It has the most complicated and difficult-to-learn controls and steering system of all the GUPS combined. Tweak may have gotten a little carried away with her new freedom. It's her favourite GUP.

D stands for "Drill"; they (Barnacles and Tweak) sometimes affectionately refer to it as "The Drill™".

E:

Green because they ran out of yellow paint it's Peso's favourite colour.

It was built specifically for Peso: it is His GUP™, the same way the GUP-B is known as Kwazii's GUP™.

It was originally intended as a trainee vehicle; it has the simplest and most basic steering system, and it's basically a Little Tikes Car in submarine form. It's controls are visually similar, but completely different to the other GUPS, and Peso is the only one who can actually drive it efficiently, since he's used to it.

E stands for "Emergency", and is a play on the word "Guppy".

F:

Tweak used the blueprints for the GUP-F as a base for the GUP-E, which is why they have similar shapes.

Old. She started building it back home in the Everglades, after the Manitoba crashed. She threw herself into her work, but was never able to get it right. (Either because she was never satisfied, or because there was something fundamentally wrong with it that she couldn't see.)

Before it was destroyed, she would always go back to it, and start tinkering with it whenever she was stressed. It just made her more stressed.

F stands for "First".

X:

Barnacles GUP-fied. That's it.

Tweak made it for him out of pure affection /p. It's a symbol of their friendship :)

She was like "Ooooohhhhh it's Christmas....... gotta make my bff the Best Gift Ever.......... my bff who loves ships................... wait omg I got it--"

That's it.

X stands for Xiphosura.

other GUP headcanons below cut 👀:

G:

It's the second biggest GUP, under technicality. (See GUP-I.)

G literally stands for "Giant". (It's based off the Giant Chinese Salamander, for those who don't know.)

H:

Green because it's Tweak's favourite colour.

She made it for fun, it was VERY experimental.

The controls are a little weird, because that's what happens when you give a helicopter the guts of a submarine.

Literally none of the Octonauts are flight-trained. Barnacles and Tweak are the only ones allowed to fly it. (Dashi is allowed in AnB, because she has flight training from piloting the Octoray.)

I:

The biggest GUP, if only because it's basically the Octo-Lab on wheels.

👆 Not really a GUP, but still qualifies as, and is called one, because of said wheels.

Much bigger on the inside than what we've seen so far; it has several rooms, and at least two floors (maybe a loft, but still.)

K:

It was inspired by the motorboat that Ranger Marsh has—they are very visually similar.

That motorboat sparked Tweak's special interest in engineering.

The K stands for "Kroc" (because "killer croc" isn't super kid friendly).

M:

She built 3 instead of 1 because she had a lot of parts left over, and thought maybe they could use them for fun activities (like dirt bike racing).

M stands for "Motorbike" and "Mudskipper".

O:

The only one besides Tweak who knows anything about it is Barnacles.

It's currently tucked away deep in the Octo-Repair Station, because she can't get it to work for some reason.

She first got the idea for it, and has been working on it ever since the Arctic Orcas episode.

P:

P stands for "Parrotfish" and for "Patrol".

It's like a combination of the GUP-E and GUP-Ms.

It's mostly a patrolling GUP, but it probably has a small storage space under the seat like the Octoski does.

R:

Was supposed to be a gift for Kwazii, in the same way the GUP-X and GUP-E were gifts for Barnacles and Peso.

Sadly, he didn't really want a new GUP. He still appreciated the gesture, though.

R originally stood for "Race".

S:

Another GUP she built for Barnacles, but it was more spontaneous than the GUP-X. She just felt like making it.

It's one of her favourites; she's really proud of all the different features, and the fact that it's her first GUP able to survive Arctic temperatures, which would've been the GUP-O if it worked.

S stands for "Snow" and "Sled".

V:

I feel like it's still on the Octopod, in wherever they keep the GUPs when they're not using them.

Tweak has promised to one day help the Vegimals tinker with it a bit more, to make it into a proper GUP.

She is very impressed with it as it is, though. The TG-5 was inspired by it.

[moonlit-reveriee]

NSFW Alphabet

ft. technoblade

concept: a collection of my own personal nsfw headcanons for techno, one for each letter of the alphabet

@saturnsstufff ‘s discord saw it first ;)

A = Aftercare 

I like the idea that techno actually gets very clingy after sex. He’ll get up and grab a glass of water or a towel if either of you need it, but if he’s able to, he’ll stay glued to your side the whole time. Even if he won’t admit it, he needs to have that intimacy after sex. He loves the feeling of your body pressed against his as you both cool down. Usually, his hands will be absentmindedly drawing patterns over your skin

B = Body part 

Kind of an oddly specific one, but he loves your shoulders. He loves to casually rest his chin on them as he holds you from behind, and bury his face in the crook of your neck as he presses heated kisses on your pulse point. He also considers the way a person carries their shoulders to be an indication of their strength, and how could he see anything but strength in you.

He hadn’t put much thought into his own body before meeting you. He’s learned to love parts of himself because of you. Particularly his scars. They way you gently run your fingers across the rough surface of them, in both intimate and casual settings, made him crave the touch. Now when he looks at them, he thinks of your hands moving across his skin

C = Cum 

Fun fact: pigs have 30 minute orgasms

Early on in your sexual relationship, he was very embarrassed by just how much of it there always was. But once you started praising him for it, that became a very different story. He started to take pride in how well he could completely fill you up without even trying

D = Dirty Secret 

He would probably never admit it to you, but it’s become a habit of his to think about the last time he had sex with you during battles. He starts to make sure you two always have sex the night before a big fight, so his mind can wander back to it during the haze of battle. He’s not sure if it’s a coping mechanism or what but it certainly helps

E = Experience 

You are his first ever sexual partner, but somehow he just.... already knows what he’s doing?? He’s very nervous and considerate the first time, but he does everything perfectly. Once you tell him that, he’s very happy and secretly a bit proud of himself

F = Favourite Position 

He loooves to have you in his lap. Either facing him, back to chest, it doesn’t matter. He’ll do everything with you in his lap. Cockwarming, fingering, thigh riding, anything you and him are physically able to do in that position

G = Goofy 

He’s usually a bit more on the serious side. Sometimes the two of you will quip at each other during foreplay, but once he gets going, it’s all business. In the moment, he likes to treat is as something special (doesn’t mean he won’t tease you about things after the fact)

H = Hair 

He likes to keep himself clean-shaven most of the time. When he’s relaxed and doesn’t have to go to any public events for a long period of time, he’ll let a small amount of stubble grow on his chin. You can always tell when he slacks off on it, cause the stubble on his face brushes roughly against your skin as he kisses down your body...

he doesn’t really shave much below the neck, but he keeps it clean and trims occasionally

I = Intimacy 

He’s surprisingly romantic when he wants to be. It’s definitely a side of him only you’re allowed to see. Alone together in his bed, he’ll whisper sweet nothings to you as he slowly draws you to your climax. Even when he’s speaking the most lewd and naughty things to you, he somehow makes them sound affectionate and full of love

J = Jack Off 

He loves to watch you masturbate. The first time was a complete accident. He came home late one night to find you curled up with his blankets, breathing heavily as you massaged yourself over your underwear. It wasn’t long before you noticed him in the doorway and jumped, worthlessly attempting to hide what you were doing. He wasn’t sure if it was the blush on your face or the fact that the blanket you chose to cover yourself in was his cape but something urged him to sit on the edge of the bed, still in his armor, and ask you to continue. It was beautiful to simply sit there and watch

K = Kink 

He’s a little bit possessive. He loves to mark you in subtle ways so you always remember that you’re his. Especially if you’re going on a trip without him. He’ll drape you in gold jewelry and leave a hickey just out of sight on your neck for good measure. The part that he loves the most about it though, is that you know exactly what he’s doing and show off his signs of possession with pride

L = Location 

He prefers to keep most of your sexual acts to the area in and around his cottage. Other than in bed, he loves to press you up against a wall. Sometimes you two get distracted while tending to the farms and end up heatedly making out in the snow. One time, you decide you wanted to lay out some blankets on the floor and do it right in front of the fireplace. He adored the way the firelight danced across your skin. (He’s thought about taking you down to the syndicate room and laying you out across the table. But he came to the unfortunate conclusion that during meetings, he’d never be able to look anyone straight in the eyes ever again. So he’s shelved that idea for the time being. Maybe once the group has disbanded...)

M = Motivation

He loves to be praised by you. During regular day-to-day life, he doesn’t like to accept any compliments from you, usually just brushing them off or responding with a joke. But when you two are alone together and intimate, he drinks that shit up. How can he not believe it when you look up and him with lidded eyes and tell him just how good he makes you feel. Just moaning against his lips as he kisses you is enough to keep him going for a while

N = NO 

He will never do anything that involves seeing your own blood. It sets off the voices too much. One day, you randomly got a nosebleed while cooking dinner together. He could smell it before he even saw it. When the voices recognized the deep red color dripping down your face, they wouldn’t stop chanting. He tried to help you clean up, but it became too much to ignore. He had to go out back and slaughter at least a dozen zombies before they shut up. And even then, he was left with a pounding headache. You were extra gentle and sweet with him when you cuddled up in bed together that night

O = Oral 

If you’re on the receiving end, be prepared for him to be down there a looooong time. Once he gets his mouth on you, it’s hard for him to pull away. He loves your smell and taste too much. He tries not to get too carried away, but there was one time he made you come 5 times in a row with just his mouth. He was very thorough with his aftercare that night.

He isn’t the one receiving very often. He only really likes it when he’s tired. He loves to sit back in a chair and watch you gently suck him of on your knees in front of him, one hand gently weaving it’s way through your hair

P = Pace 

I always imagine him on the slower side. He likes to savor every moment, making sure that every thrust or movement of his hand is intentional and perfectly placed. He takes time to watch you carefully to make sure you’re getting exactly what you need. He’ll go harder before he goes faster

Q = Quickie 

As much as he loves to treasure your intimate time together, there are times where he just needs it. Every once and awhile, he’ll be desperate for it and quickly have you against the wall before heading out to run some errands. Sometimes he’ll pull you in, make you cum, and head out the door without saying a single word. He usually feels the need to make up for it when he returns, but you’ve assured him many times that you love sex with him at any pace

R = Risk 

Since he’s still fairly inexperienced despite his skills, he’s not super adventurous himself. More often than not, you’re the one bringing new ideas to the relationship. He’s willing to try the new things you suggest. You’ve had a discussion about your limits, and you both understand what goes too far for each other

S = Stamina 

He can go multiple times in a row if he wants to, and for a long time. He lowkey loves it when you tire out before him, and you let him keep going while you lie there sleepily in his arms

T = Toy 

He doesn’t own any sex toys, but he likes to make sex toys out of everyday objects (as long as they’re safe and properly cleaned of course). He likes the idea of never being able to look at that object the same way again, especially if it’s something either of you use around the house frequently. He would get his hands on some actual toys if you wanted him to. If toys are involved, he prefers them to be used on you, not on him

U = Unfair 

He likes to randomly tease you during moments that are absolutely not sexual. Maybe you’re brushing out his hair, complaining about the knots in it. He’ll suddenly respond with “that’s not what you told me in the bedroom last night” leaving you to sit there in shock while he laughs. Or he’ll quote things you said to him during sex completely deadpan and watch as the blush rises to your cheeks

V = Volume 

He’s not extremely loud. When he is loud though, he growls. You’ll be able to feels his chest vibrating when you lean into him. Sometimes you can even feel the vibrations through his lips as he pleasures you with his mouth, which is an absolutely crazy and wonderful feeling.

During very domestic moments, he likes to talk a lot during sex. If he comes home from working all day, and he’s missing you greatly, he loves to tell you all about his day while his cock gently rocks inside of you

W = Wild Card 

This part is definitely just gonna be me fulfilling one of my personal kinks, but I love the idea of techno going through a heat since he’s part piglin. Maybe it only happens like once a year, but when it’s that time, his senses are kicked into high gear and he’s desperate for you. The two of you have a routine for it by now. You prepare the bedroom by gathering every blanket in the house, and prepping a week’s worth of food & water that can be eaten quickly during the moments when techno’s haze of arousal drops. Once he feels it start to set in, he locks the bedroom door and allows his senses to become completely enveloped by you

X = X-Ray 

I like to believe that a lot of the hybrid races are PACKING. It’s one of the many things he’s nervous about on your first time, but seeing the way your able to take him so well every time is such a turn on

Y = Yearning 

Both you and him can be too tired to have sex at times, but if he’s able to have you, he’ll take everything he can get. He loves to take care of you if you’ve had a long day, and he knows you’ll do the same for him

Z = ZZZ 

If it’s nighttime sex, he can pass out as soon as aftercare is over. But if it’s morning or midday, he can have sex and go about the rest of his day no problem. Since his orgasms are so long, he likes to make you cum more often than he does, and watching you cum invigorates him

[diaphragmjellyfish]

Robby NSFW Alphabet

not my gif

A: Aftercare

Robby’s aftercare is ON POINT. He’s a huge cuddler and loves to have the chance to take care of someone who really appreciates it and takes care of him in return. He will get a soft, damp cloth and clean you off before pulling you onto his chest and wrapping you both up in tons of blankets. He likes to pet your hair while you fall asleep, and hold you so that no one can hurt you while you’re in such a vulnerable state. He knows, realistically, that no one is gonna jump out of the closet and attack you, but it makes him feel needed. 

B: Body Part

His favorite body part of yours is your hands. He loves holding them up next to his and comparing, he loves holding your hand, and he loves when your hand is wrapped around his cock while y’all are in private. He can’t help but look at your left hand and picture a pretty ring on that finger, imagining the beautiful future he wants to have with you. His favorite body part of his is his butt. The boy works out, and he knows how much you like it. He honestly never noticed his butt before, whether it was nice or not, until you started pointing it out, and now he walks around in leggings just to get your attention!

C: Cum

He likes to cum in your mouth. Blowjobs make him feel like he’s in heaven, and when you swallow, it makes Robby feel like you’re accepting him and worshipping him like no one ever has before. He also likes to finish inside you (wrap it up) because of how intimate it is. Not part of the prompt, but he loves to make you sit on his face and cum all over his mouth, dirty boy. 

D: Dirty Secret

Robby has always wanted to try more public sex. The thought of getting caught riles him to no end, and he gets so turned on by the idea of holding his hand over your mouth in a janitor’s closet so people walking past don’t hear your moans. If you wanted to try it, y’all would start small, like your backyard, and work your way up, but if you weren;t into it, that’s fine with him too. 

E: Experience

He’s decently experienced. Robby had a one night stand or two before he met Mr. Larusso, when he hung out with those hooligans, but it never meant anything. With you, it’s his first time doing it with feelings involved, and he was blown away by how much better it was that way. He was experienced enough to not bust in T-2 minutes, but he still had a lot to learn about taking his time and making sure you both enjoyed it. With the other girls, it was always about doing it to impress his friends so he never thought much about how it felt, for him or her. You have to teach him that porn isn’t realistic, and that it takes time to feel good. He’s a fast learner though. 

F: Favorite Position

He loves a good 69, lying down or standing ;) bc he’s strong like that. He also likes taking you from behind while he holds you up against him by your neck, and his other hand playing with your nipples or clit. Add a mirror, and you have the hottest sex either of you had ever had. 

G: Goofy

He can be goofy during foreplay or aftercare, but Robby likes to keep it more intimate and serious during actual sex. He wants you to know that he takes you seriously, and thinks that you guys are goofy all the time, so he wants sex to be loving and heartfelt. Drunk sex can be goofy, but most of the time, he keeps it mature. 

H: Hair

He will shave it off every once in a while and let it get stubbly for a couple weeks, then shave again. Robby HATES ingrown hairs, so he doesn’t like to shave every day, but he thinks just trimming makes it look sloppy. He settles for shaving every couple weeks. He literally doesn’t even notice when you don’t shave, so obviously he doesn’t care about that. Like he’s so caught up in the moment that you could put a little blue wig down there and he wouldn’t notice. 

I: Intimacy

So growing up, Robby never really had people that cared a lot about him. Because of this, he lives for intimate moments. Just you guys lying on his bed playing with each other’s hair makes him swoon. He’s a romantic guy, and would definitely go all out with flower petals, candles, champagne, and bubble baths if it were a special occasion. He wants you to know that he loves you, and wants to make sure you know how much he loves you. 10/10 romance. 

J: Jack off 

He did it a lot before he met you, but now he prefers you. He really doesn’t feel the need to jack off because you guys are together so often. If he starts thinking about you in the shower or something, maybe he would, but he’d rather just text you to come over. 

K: Kink

So Robby is a switch. When he’s feeling more dominant, he loves to spank you with his hands, a paddle, or his karate belt. He gets off on the fact that you trust him so much to hold your pleasure and pain in his hands. He would never go too far, but he loves how wet you get after a light spanking. When Robby is more sub, he likes when you boss him around. Telling him how exactly to pleasure you, pulling his face further into your core. Making him get on his knees and watch as you pleasured yourself. He worships you. 

L: Location

At first, a bed. But after you guys have sex on a beach at night one time, he realizes that he wants to try tons of different locations. Just the possibilities of how he can position you, someone catching you, or someone hearing how good he makes you feel, really gets him going. His favorite so far was in an empty stairwell at a fancy resort that Sam invited you both to. 

M: Motivation

So like Hawk and Miguel, Robby is a teenage boy! He’s horny all day, every day. He loves seeing you in workout clothes, seeing other guys hit on you and then shrink away when they realize you’re his, teaching you karate, and watching you put your hair up. It reminds him of… certain things. 

N: No

He would never ever let someone else join you guys. Male, female, or other, he hates the idea of someone putting their hands on you in that way, and knows you would feel the same about him. Robby thinks you guys have such a perfect chemistry going, so why would you want to ruin that with another person? It would just be awkward and clumsy, and Robby does NOT like to share. 

O: Oral

So like I said earlier, he thinks porn is accurate when y’all first start having sex. He would go down on you for like 30 seconds, barely using any pressure or suction, and would then be confused as to why you weren’t finishing. He sat you down one day and talked to you about it, because he was scared you just weren’t attracted to him or something. When you told him that you needed more than what he was doing, he made you teach him right then and there. He spent a good hour and a half going down on you, making you tell him what was good and what wasn’t, learning how to actually give GOOD head, and now he’s pretty much an expert. He takes his time and takes cues from you. You were amazing at head right off the bat, and he’s such a simp for you when you’re between his legs. 

P: Pace

It honestly varies depending on the day and what mood you guys are in. He’s a switch in all respects, so he can be slow and loving, or fast and rough, or a mix of the two. He also loves when you start on top and set the pace, and then he will flip you guys over when you get tired and finish you both off. 

Q: Quickie

He likes a good quickie in those moments when you guys are out and get turned on all of a sudden. Robby likes to take you somewhere a little more private and get you both off, before resuming what you guys were doing and acting like nothing happened. You’ve seen him shake the hand of someone with the same hand that was buried in you 3 minutes before, acting like nothing was out of sorts at all. 

R: Risk

He will try new things if you want to, but is honestly pretty content with how you guys fuck right now. His philosophy is “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” But he’s more than willing to try whatever you want to try. Robby can’t say no to his girl. Sometimes, you guys just sit there and watch porn together, and will see something that looks like fun, so you decide to try it. 

S: Stamina

So I feel redundant for saying this on Miguel and Hawk’s too, but he’s a teenage boy! He can’t go for more than 12 minutes at first. He could go like 5 times in a row, but didn’t last very long. Now, he’s way better. He can last for a solid 30 to 40 minutes if he really wants to, but normally you’re satisfied before that and he can let himself finish. 

T: Toy

Robby loves to try toys on you. When you first told him that you had a vibrator, he immediately asked if he could use it on you. He’s fascinated with how different toys do different things, and he loves studying the difference in your reactions depending on what he’s using. He doesn’t really like toys being used on him though. He thinks it feels weird and he'd rather have your mouth or hand. 

U: Unfair

Robby can be a really bad tease if he’s in the right mood. He would hover his mouth over your pussy, letting you shake and cry before he touches you. He would finger you and bring you right up to the edge, before pulling his hand away and laughing as you almost sob. He likes knowing he has the power to make you writhe like that. 

V: Volume

He’s pretty quiet, to be honest. You had to tell him specifically that you wanted him to be louder in the bedroom. Once you did that, he started to let loose a little bit more, but still isn’t super loud. He would rather listen to you scream his name ;) 

W: Wild Card

He loves shower sex. Too many times have you guys both cum, only for him to carry you into the shower to clean off and eventually start round 2. The water, the soap, the nakedness, he’s a sucker for it. There’s no clean up involved, and he even gets a bathtub mat so you guys don’t slip and hurt yourselves. 

X: X-Ray

I said it before and I’ll say it again! Size! Does! Not! Matter! The g-spot is 3 INCHES IN so if he’s hitting it right it’s fine!!! But Robby is probably a solid 6 inches. 

Y: Yearning

Teenage boy! He could go at the drop of a hat. Robby wants you all the time, he just holds back until you want to as well. Which is also often, I mean look at him!

Z: Zzz

He doesn’t really like to fall asleep right after in case you need something. He makes sure he’s available to get you whatever you need: a snack, water, another blanket, a kiss. Robby also likes to hold you while you sleep, because it makes him feel like he’s doing his duty as your boyfriend and protecting you. 

[marmaligne]

headcanon in two parts, sorry. Ask does not miss it. 1.1 Oh, you know the insecticons from the tfp? Can I have a headcanon where a S/O person is on friendly terms with insecticons?

[TF PRIME] S/O Is Friends With The Insecticons

———————————————————————

* [S/O] meets them by accident quite a bit before the events of the Energon Eaters. Arachnid is still “leader” of the Insecticons by technicality as the only available ‘Queen’ for the hive-mind, however she never really patrols the area or takes care of the hive as she should, rather choosing to wander as a free mind, disobeying orders from everybody.

* You had stumbled upon the hive while taking a short walk along the side of the Jasper highway, leading out of town and to an old coal mine you liked to inhabit on your days off work. A home-away-from-home of sorts, it brought you peace of mind to have a quiet place.

* At least you thought it was a quiet, desolate area until you broke through a thinning in the rock floor of the entry shaft and ended up crashing an Insecticon tea-party.

*It was a rather awkward fall, and it had injured your hip joint on the way down, leaving you temporarily paralyzed in throbbing pains and nerve damage.

* The giant bug-like robots and their shiny, metal wingspans immediately armed themselves and aimed at the shifting dust and rockfall, growling and chittering in a language of some sort, unknown to you.

* “Is it one of those ugly-faced Decepticons ploys again?”

* “It’s too small and squishy, much sooner to be a predacons’ chew toy than any weapon.”

* You looked super confused, absolutely stupefied, completely duped, utterly incomprehensible, awkwardly awed, amazingly idiotic, a-

* Their manner of speech and vocal patterns was practically lost on you. You could pick up remnants of a language similar to broken [language], but really nothing else. In an attempt to make contact with the metallic giants to gain help, you enabled your parroting capabilities.

* Humans have the stunning ability to mimic sounds and specific noise frequencies, at levels other earthen animals, especially mammals, cannot. Using this ability, you managed to copycat the grinding and chattering noises coming from the vocal mass of bug-bots.

* [S/O]: “¿Krrt-grrut vvurrr chechch?”

* Hardshell: “¿Buzzzz vert-tet-brrrz, Erreech?”

* [S/O]: “¿Erreech?”

* Hardshell: “¡VRREE BUZZZ-EECH CLICKLICKIK!”

* The contact went well, unbeknownst to you, and the successful communication meant that you might actually have a chance at escape, or finding a hospital!

* Congrats! You are now [Tiny Bug Child]! You have no idea what they were speaking about, unaware that they were contemplating how to execute you, but you successfully managed to evade death by being cute and cuddly! People say curiosity killed the cat, but it evidently saves the naive human-who-fell-into-an-insect-cult-meeting!

* Hardshell, the Insecticon you nearly landed on top of, begins to lift you out of the rubble, and place you down upon a makeshift stone table, partially destroyed by the collapse. The others—including Wingflap, Bombshell, Shrapnel, Blockhead, and Kickback—gather closely around you, cooing and chirping in their weird language again.

* This was, evidently, how you became the new Queen of the hive, though you didn’t know it, and managed to befriend your way through the entire enclosed community and worm into the spark of every Insecticon, though they were very few in number.

* You made easy friends with Bombshell, and remained close with him up until his untimely death by Bulkheads hammer fist. He would often lay atop the Jasper cliffside with you, and make out shapes in the clouds, constellations in the stars—regaling to you tales of the Old Cybertron, when his own kind weren’t so despised, and were respected as viable assets and allies amongst those with forms like and unlike their own—until the Autobot Elitists ensured they were seen as ugly and malformed, made to hide away in the shadows and step away from society for ‘the greater good’.

* It’s how you came to hate the Autobots—and Decepticons—for all they had done, to their planet and yours, and to your friends as well.

* Your mimicry slowly turned into actual speech patterns and recognition. Repetitive sound signals were a key portion of Archaic Insecticon speech, which made it easy to recognize simple words or phrases, each indicated by a set of whirs, clicks, or beeps.

* Now that you could actively communicate with most of the hive, it was far easier to make friends with even the hardiest of bots.

* Hardshell, of course, was tough to crack. At your constant insistance, he spoke with you once or twice, and made sure to acknowledge your presence when in the room, as well as save you a seat at the underground pub every other weekend. It wasn’t actually a pub per-say, rather a dugout chamber with smooth walls and some stone slabs insert for seating, where the cons enjoyed engex they could sneak off the Nemesis from time-to-time.

* After awhile, he warms up to you, welcoming you back to the hive every day after work, standing alongside his multiple siblings, and pushing others aside to get to hold you first.

* Meanwhile this all happens, they still don’t know what a human is. Their simple understanding of earth comes only from what they’ve seen on the highway from the cliffside, or from video footage of the Autobot pests on the Nemesis. Due to their bulky size and noisiness, they’re banned from most human-inhabited areas.

* Don’t doubt that some of them have attempted to follow their [S/O] home. They have. And some of them won’t stop trying. It’s been more than one awkward encounter between you and some teens to get them to realize they could get you in trouble.

* You all eat [dessert] together sometimes, made with energon supplements for ‘The Boys™️’, with some good ol’ 25-something-kg of sugar mixed in.

* The boys were worried when you didn’t show up for a week due to hospitalization via severe food poisoning medical coma.

* When Arachnid finally returned to Earth, and her fight against Arcee had proceeded about as well as expected, she located the hive and proceeded to force them to engage in business with Megatron. She believed that by implementing her own soldiers amongst the ranks, she’d be better equipped to backstab Megatron when the time came.

* She was undoubtably surprised when Hardshell and some others adamantly refused to take part in her plans at first, until she enforced their compliance through the hive-mind.

*When she learned of your existence, and the very gauge of your importance to her former hive, she came at you with full force.

*The Insecticons were fully unprepared to deal with a fight between their small [S/O] and an extremely angry ex-Queen. In refute, they returned you to the surface without so much as a goodbye, and begged you to escape before Arachnid scented you out.

* It was soon after these events that you learned of Breakdown’s death, Bulkhead’s coma, and Bombshell’s demise due to the combined effects of a substance called Tox-En and injuries sustained during his battle with Bulkhead. It broke you inside to learn there was nothing you could have done to help, but you refused to disobey their pleas to stay away for awhile.

* At the hive, Arachnid rules supreme. Being able to control the hive-mind was a feat a human was incapable of achieving, only Cybertronians able to easily access the imbedded chain of command.

* Hardshell mourned the loss of a true friend—a small, squishy human—but a friend nonetheless.

* Wingflap and Kickback went through a collection of memories you’d left behind with them. Pictures and small objects gifted over the years, a small treasure trove of important parts of their lives, now without you in them.

* Shrapnel stims a lot more now, and has nervous tics that he believes are the result of the loss of his dear friend. He knows you aren’t dead, least not yet, but he knows that you’ll likely never come back.

* Blockhead, as dumb as everybody thinks he is, is actually very emotionally intelligent. He has a way with words he barely understands, and [S/O] acted as a big support for someone like him. Without them now, he can no longer function like normal, and now has nobody left to talk to.

* Arachnid could care less. She absolutely despises [S/O], and would smite them for all she cares. You matter little to her, and only worry her for the loyalty and capacity of her troops.

* It isn’t until the Energon Eaters appear that everything turns completely south.

* [S/O] finally builds up enough courage to march themselves back down to the mine, and demand to meet Arachnid face-to-faceplate.

* The desert is hot, Nevada is hotter, and the trek down the highway seems endless and tedious. You pass by 5 interstate signs on your way to the hive, and count the steps it takes to reach the entrance, parched by the time you make it there.

* In all your sweaty glory, you, [S/O], make your way down the carved pathway into the mineshaft, dark and cramped—just as you left it.

* But everything is exactly as it was left, not an item out of place. The entire hive was empty, including of those you cared about. Their rooms are full of memories, and their energon cubes still lie in a corner, collecting dust and grime.

* The search seems profitable, yet it leaves you with nothing, and the emptiness of the hive echoes around you, and in all the chambers, through the cavern walls of every room.

* You know they’re gone, that they have left without you, and without so much as a simple passing note.

* Perhaps someday you’d find them, hiding away in another Jasper mine, but you never would.

* In their haze of a hive mind, they barely even remember the face of the human they left behind. A long line across the moon—stretching on for miles—and a vampire on a false throne, draining the lifeblood from their veins, and the image of [S/O] from their minds.

———————————————————————

✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

[apompkwrites]

love in their own way || albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli

masterlist characters: albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli genre: fluff summary: in which their s/o's aren't as forward about their emotions, but still manage to have their little tells that express their love. notes: i hope this meets the request! i had a lot of fun writing this! i just want the boys to be happy :)

albedo -

i like to think albedo is secretly clingy but doesn't allow himself to show it to anyone.

naturally, it's just because he's always holed up with his work.

when he consciously does it... it's because he's nervous.

remember the end of his quest when he's talking to himself at dragonspine?

that's why he's nervous.

anyway!!

he's not too bothered by the fact that you're more reserved.

he has a lot of work so he can't really dwell on the idea for too long.

just you being there when he's working is good enough for him :D

as we all know, this boy is very into experimentation and learning.

so trying to decipher your minuscule facial changes is actually really interesting to him!

he has a bunch of notes just on the little details he can find about you.

and since he's so observant, it doesn't take him long to realize that there are certain signs that only appear around him.

he'll notice them when he's painting you.

whenever he's waiting for results, he'll use the time to draw you <3

because he's done this, he practically has you memorized.

so imagine his surprise when he sees your expression change whenever he leaves your sight.

it takes him a while to actually be able to see this, but i'm sure it's because of timaeus and sucrose.

after all, they're around you a lot whenever albedo is busy.

they probably take a picture to show him something they did while he was gone and that's when he notices.

he doesn't even have to look at a different picture of you.

he can just tell you look different.

the little crinkle next to your eyes was gone.

your lips were more pursed than usual.

you now had a crease in between your brows you didn't have before.

the next time he sees you, he'll hold up the picture next to your face to confirm they're different.

he wants to ask why there's a "clear" difference in your appearance but he already knows why.

he'll ask you just to be sure, though--

your cheeks get a tiny tiny bit darker when you answer wholeheartedly.

it does make him chuckle when he hears that you're so smitten for him in your monotonous voice.

the picture sucrose and timaeus took isn't his favorite of you, so he ends up taking a new one when you two are both exploring dragonspine.

it's a reminder of how much you really love him <3

childe -

out of the four boys here, he's definitely (in my opinion) the most affectionate.

like, this boy will take whatever he can get to just hold you for a second.

especially if you're also from snezhnaya but came all the way to liyue to keep him company.

he's very family-oriented as we've seen, so he treasures these relationships.

now, with an unaffectionate s/o?

honestly, i don't think he'd be too upset about it.

like i said, he really treasures these familial relationships.

because of this, it's his top priority to make sure you feel comfortable in the relationship.

he won't necessarily keep his distance, but he won't be too clingy either.

he'll stand right beside you, enough to where you can almost feel his skin touching yours.

as for your expressionlessness...

it'll take him a bit to really understand how you're feeling.

it's a lot of communication because he doesn't want to mess anything up.

near the beginning of the relationship, he'd ask how you're feeling and if there's anything bothering you.

but once he finally notices the subtle differences in your face, such as a slight eyebrow raise or a tilt of the head, he'll be able to read you easier.

nothing too complex, but just enough for him to tell your emotions.

there is one subtle change that he always looks for, however.

he's realized, with the help of zhongli of course, that there is a specific characteristic that only happens when he's in your line of sight.

your lips are normally pressed in a fine line.

however, around him, the corners lift up ever-so-slightly.

the only reason he's able to see it is that he'll catch himself staring at your lips because he wants a kiss :)

once he sees that, he starts noticing your little quirks whenever you're around him.

you'll lean closer to him as you're walking through liyue harbor.

your eyes start to soften as he talks on and on about his day (and complains about scaramouche--).

he loves the idea that all of these little details about you only happen around him,

it makes him feel... important.

and loved.

even if he holds back from touching you, he'll settle for seeing your cold exterior melt around him.

xiao -

he's not too well versed in affection...

i mean, he's the vigilant yaksha that is known for being stoic just like you are.

you two are basically carbon copies of each other.

no affection and no clear expressions of love.

people (who know both you and xiao) often forget that you two are actually together.

like, they just think you two sit in silence when you're both tired of dealing with people.

they... aren't necessarily wrong.

the two of you are often found sitting at the balcony looking over liyue.

sometimes you bring him almond tofu to share :)

it's very rare for the two of you to actively show your love for each other, mainly because you both know your feelings.

although... xiao does have those moments.

it's not like he's completely oblivious to the whispers about you two.

and on the days where his karma acts up, he gets insecure.

he's... really scared that one day you'll leave just like the others.

it doesn't matter if you're a mortal or an adeptus, he's scared that one day he'll wake up and you'll be gone.

and if that ever comes, he's scared you'll pass on either doubting your feelings or his.

it doesn't help when he notices the difference in your attitude and appearance when he's around.

his first instinct is that he's doing something bad.

either you're angry or upset at his mere existence...

verr goldet's the one who has to explain why you seem different.

she's quite observant on her own, especially because you're the first person that xiao actively enjoys being around.

she'll be the one to tell him that it isn't because you're mad at him.

you have minuscule changes because that's how xiao makes you feel.

you're so soft around him and she can tell just from the small interactions she's seen of you.

for example, when you're talking to the chef downstairs, you have the same expression that xiao has when he's talking to people.

you're annoyed but you know how to handle it.

but when you're around xiao, it's like everything that bothers you disappears.

it's like you're in your own domain whenever he's around.

nothing else matters except for him.

and even if she's relying on small observations and pure intuition, she can tell that the changes are good.

your eyes that seem to look anywhere besides the person you are talking to are completely different from the ones that seem to only focus on xiao.

your normally stiff body relaxes every time you summon xiao at the balcony.

the tiny smile that graces your lips when you disappear to the top of the inn for hours on end.

verr goldet's explanation calms his heart.

his worries seem to disappear and the next time he sees you...

this is the one thing his karma can't take away. he'll be sure of it.

zhongli -

zhongli is also another person who isn't well versed in relationships.

although he isn't as inexperienced as xiao, it'll take some time for him to figure it out.

he's not someone who craves affection like it's the only thing keeping him alive.

he definitely would appreciate it but he completely understands that it isn't something you tend to give.

so instead, he'll show his love in the smaller things.

such as telling you stories, sharing tea, going out on walks, etc.

he's another person who is very observant, especially in people close to him.

his storytelling friends often ask him about your relationship with one another.

they try to bring it to his attention that you may not be as interested as he thinks you are.

of course, he'll simply laugh them off and tell them that they should listen to the person who knows you best.

he'll turn those questions into a big story and explain how they're mistaken about you.

he's never actively told anyone this, save for hu tao who tries to bug him into telling her, but he'll tell them about all of the tiny details that tell him your feelings.

when you're feeling upset, you puff out your cheeks a small bit.

when you're angry, your glare hardens at whatever is making you mad.

when you're happy, your lips part slightly.

when you're in love... well, that's a detail he'll keep for himself.

he's quick to say goodbye to his peers, practically rushing back to your shared home.

he's greeted by you as soon as he opens the door.

your stoic expressions... would be exactly the same to anyone else.

but to him, it's like you've lit up like a small puppy seeing their human parents come home after years.

you don't run up to him, but you turn to look at him and away from the book on the table.

he'll greet you with a quiet nod, pulling out the chair and sitting next to you.

he'll take the book from you, taking in your appearance for a moment.

your shoulders relax by a hair and you move your chair an inch closer to his.

you don't lean your head on his shoulder but you lean towards him as if you were about to.

it's these moments that make everything worth it to zhongli.

here, in your home and in your life, he's simply zhongli.

the man you fell in love with and allowed your reserved self to open up to.

and he would trade anything just to have these moments with you.

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them With a Foreign S/o || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x foreign!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x foreign!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x foreign!reader, Shoto Todoroki x foreign!reader, and Denki Kaminari x foreign!reader

Requested by Anonymous: hello! could i request some headcanons with the boys wherein their s/o's a foreigner? like, they have trouble speaking japanese and all. thank you and i hope you have a lovely day! <33

Word Count: 1.4k

Notes: Everything in italics is spoken in Japanese, h/c=home country

A/n: Hi! Thanks for requesting! I hope I wrote this well. Sorry that Kiri’s is sort of short, I couldn’t think of anything else for him. Hope you enjoy these- Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

Izuku thinks it’s really cool that you are foreign

He’ll ask you a lot of questions about your home country, and be really patient with you as you try to explain it in Japanese

He does seem to notice that you have a bit of a hard time expressing yourself or showing your real personality while your talking in Japanese, just because you don’t know the right words to say

So, he starts learning your native language, so it’s easier for the two of you to talk to each other and get to know each other better

He revealed to you that he was learning your native language, and after that, you two tutored each other in each other’s language

Once you could finally be yourself around Izuku, the two of you got along pretty well and you two ended up with crushes on each other

You two got together, because you overheard him talking to one of his friends about how he had a crush on you and didn’t know what to do about it

“You should ask me out.”

“I already-” He paused when he realized that the voice did not come from his friend, and instead from behind him, and then he realized it was your voice and his face turned beet red

Anyways, you ended up confessing your feelings for him as well and you two got together

He always asks questions about where you’re originally from and he has a whole page in his notebook about your favorite things to do at home, and fun facts about your hometown

Since you haven’t had a whole ton of Japanese foods, or done activities that were common in Japan, he likes taking you on dates specifically to do things exclusive to Japan

If there’s a certain snack you like from your country that isn’t available in Japan, and you tell Izuku, he’ll order it online for you, and have it shipped to you, so you can still have it

Katsuki Bakugou:

At first, he thought you were really stupid

How were you supposed to become a hero when you can’t even understand half the shit that your classmates are saying?

But over time, he found himself liking your personality

He liked your determination to become a hero, even if you were having trouble understanding your classmates

I feel like Bakugou speaks multiple languages, so he would be able to talk to you in your first language

The two of you actually became friends, because he got sick of you messing up your Japanese

You were saying something to Mina, who was waiting patiently while you tried to figure out how to explain it in Japanese

Bakugou was listening in and the second he heard you mess up a word, he went, “God, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Bakugou! Don’t be mean to them. They’re trying,” Mina said, scolding the ash blonde

“Do you want to teach me?” You question, sarcastically of course, switching back to your native language, since you knew Bakugou knew it

“If it’ll keep you from speaking in that shitty Japanese then yeah.”

And that’s how your relationship with Bakugou began

Every Wednesday and Friday night, you would go over to his dorm and he would practice Japanese with you for a few hours. He was kind of mean about it, and scolded you when you messed up, but you were quickly learning Japanese

Over time, you two ended up getting pretty close and became friends, and eventually he confessed his feelings for you and you two started dating

You two now talked in Japanese most of the time, but you would still unconsciously switch back to your native language, since it was what you were used to

If you’re ever homesick, Bakugou will make you some kind of food that is from your country and he knows that you like, and then he’ll watch a movie from your country with you

Eijiro Kirishima:

Kirishima is actually the first friend you make at U.A.

I know I say that in a lot of my different headcanon posts, but come on, he’s way too nice and accepting to not be your first friend

Whenever you guys first met, he was so patient while you tried speaking Japanese

He offers to teach you Japanese, but he low key sucks at teaching stuff, so after he realizing he’s not really helping, he finds an app for you to download on your phone that can help you learn more (if you don’t already have one)

Once your pretty fluent in Japanese, the two of you get along even better now that you’re able to communicate better

Eventually he confesses his feelings for you and the two of you get together

He likes when you tell stories about things that have happened to you in your old country, or crazy things that have happened in your hometown

He’ll commonly look up recipes from your country, and try to make them with you

Shoto Todoroki:

When Shoto found out that you were foreign, he really didn’t care all that much

You were just another student in his class, why should he be more curious about you than he would anybody else?

At least that’s what he thought, up until Aizawa paired you two up for a project

Shoto had a tendency to correct your Japanese whenever you two were talking, not realizing that it may hurt your feelings or embarrass you

He only realized this when he was working on the project with you in the library, and Midoriya was right next to the two of you and he kept hearing Shoto correct you

So Izuku pulled him off to the side and told him to stop correcting you, because it’s probably embarrassing you

After that, Shoto felt sort of bad, but he felt it would be more awkward if he apologized, so he didn’t

While you two worked on the project, Shoto got to know you and ended up developing a little crush on you

He talked to Midoriya about this, and he told Shoto that he should ask you out

He wasn’t sure how he should do it, so he asked Midoriya again, and he suggested that Shoto should learn how to ask you out in your native language and then ask you out like that

Shoto did it and it worked

He helped you learn Japanese better, and your relationship was going great

He doesn’t really pay any special attention to the fact that you’re from a different country, he only really remembers it when you two are going out to eat and you ask about what a certain food is and if it’s good or not

Denki Kaminari:

Denki got so excited when he found out that there was going to be a foreign student coming to U.A.

The second he saw you, he immediately was attracted to you and wanted to ask you out

So, the second you sat down in your new class before class started, he was up immediately and flirting with you

But since you didn’t know very much Japanese, you had no idea what he was saying, so you just sort of brushed it off

Denki got kind of upset about it, and just left you alone, since it was obvious that you didn’t like him

He only realized that you didn’t understand him when he was telling his friends about it later, and they told him that you probably didn’t know much Japanese

You ended up looking up half the things he said to you after school that day, and blushed when you realized he was complimenting you

The next day you walked up to him in class and apologized for brushing him off, before explaining the situation, which he already knew

You two ended up getting along pretty well

Before you two got to know each other, he just found you attractive because of your looks, but now he found you attractive because of your looks and personality

Eventually, he admits his feelings for you, and you return them, so you two start dating

For some reason, he loves to flex that you’re from a different country

Like if anybody says that you’re a cute couple, he’ll be like “Yeah, I know. They’re from h/c.”

He’ll sometimes ask what a certain word means in your native language, so he can compliment you in that language

He tries to learn the whole language, but it confuses him way too much

He even tries watching some of his favorite films, but in your native language, but he always gets bored halfway through and turns on the Japanese version

[arvandus]

The Sound of Silence (18+ Aizawa x Fem!Reader)

Pairing: Aizawa x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: After once again being stood up for a date at your favorite jazz club, you decide to give up dating entirely in favor of watching and fantasizing about your favorite jazz musician, Aizawa Shouta.  You had assumed you’d never meet him face to face.  You had assumed that he didn’t even know you existed.  You’re about to learn that your assumptions are wrong.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY/NSFW; reader wears a sexy black dress (minimally described); minor sexual harassment; slow build; praise kink (if you squint); hand kink (probably); fingering; ‘baby’ petname.

Special Note:  A few days late, but here’s my contribution to the BNHarem January Collab ‘Making Beautiful Music’ posted by @kingexpl0sionmurder​​. It was supposed to be a oneshot, but this particular piece got a mind of its own and will at least have a sequel. If we’re all really lucky, it may become a multichapter series in the far and distant future, when my life is less crazy (I have ideas, ok??).  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this fic!

Word Count: 9486

Recommended Song: No specific song at the moment, but this was what I listened to while writing this.

Lesson 1

It was crowded tonight, the air of the small club Midnight hot and heavy with the scent of cigar smoke and booze. The noise of conversations and laughing voices filled the air like the buzzing of a hive, as bodies mingled about like busy bees, each looking for their own bit of nectar.  Some looking to win romance.  Some looking to win money.  While others were simply winning by enjoying the company of friends.  Their movements were carried on the music that filled the space, upbeat jazz played by a three-person band.  It was comforting in its familiarity, developed over multiple visits – some with friends, some with coworkers, and some with potential love interests.

You sat at the bar, a drink held protectively in your hand as your eyes searched.  You checked your phone for messages but found none.  It’d been a full twenty minutes and you were pretty sure by this point that your date wasn’t going to show up.  It was supposed to be your first date in over a month, and you’d had high hopes for it - you’d clicked well with the person on your dating app (or so you thought), talking over the course of a couple of weeks before finally deciding to meet. So tonight, you’d put in a little extra effort into your appearance, donning a black dress that showed off your curves and putting careful attention into your makeup.

Damn. You were genuinely interested in this one.

You sent them a quick text in the hopes that you’d get a response.  Give them an extra ten minutes… You thought. Maybe they were caught in traffic or something.

But by the time you hit the 45-minute mark with no messages, you’d officially given up.  A half-hearted sigh fell past your painted lips. You weren’t really too surprised by this point.  You’d been having terrible luck in the dating scene for a while now.  Sometimes it was them.  Sometimes it was you.  But for whatever reason, each attempt ended in failure.

Oh well. It was likely for the best.  At least you would be able to enjoy the rest of your evening in solitude instead of enduring a potentially disastrous date.  And as for your attire, it certainly didn’t hurt to feel sexy, even if you had no one to share it with.

You loved this place. The atmosphere, the music… you’d even managed to make friends with the bartender Hizashi to the point that he’d walk you to your car on the nights that you stayed until closing.

Your eyes scanned around the room, observing.  Wooden tables littered the main floor, where small lit candles cast yellow light on observing faces, eyes trained on the musicians.  Booths lined along the far wall, filled mostly with men who puffed cigars over a game of cards, their raucous laughter carrying through the din.  Closer to the bar was an arrangement of tall, round tables with matching bar height chairs. A group of women, likely on a ladies’ night out, filled the table closest to you, taking shots and laughing, their heels perched on the rungs.  Waiters zigzagged their way through the crowd with expert precision, platters held high with drinks and snacks, while patrons milled about, waiting for an open table.

And, of course, there was the stage itself, where the jazz band finished their final piece before collecting their instruments and leaving the small stage.  All that was left from their departure was a black baby grand piano, property of the club.  Your pulse quickened as you checked your watch.  Was it that time already?

Not a moment later, there he was.  Long, black, wavy hair pulled back into a half ponytail, the hint of a 5 o’ clock shadow dusting his jawline and framing his lips.  He was dressed in simple clothes, as always… a black v-neck shirt with the sleeves pushed halfway up his forearms and dark jeans.  He entered the stage without so much a glance towards the busy room, instead making his way to the piano with his hands in his pockets. He sat down and from your position at the bar, you could barely see his long fingers arrange themselves at the keys, gently curled.

As soon as he began to play, the mood in the club shifted slightly from buzzing to relaxing.  The flow of his fingers across the keys drew a lazy melody reminiscent of rainy days and hot coffee; of snuggling under warm blankets, feet intertwined with a lover who danced their fingers across your skin, gently tickling your flesh the way his fingers tickled those keys.

Aizawa Shouta.

Of course you knew his name. The first time you’d heard him play, you’d felt weightless, your body going numb as every sensation coalesced into your chest like the forming of a star.  The question of his identity had fallen from your lips before you’d even realized it, and it had been Hizashi who’d answered you, a chuckle on his lips.

Fuck.  It felt like he was making love to you through the notes, each key meticulously selected like a carefully-worded love letter. It made your palms sweat against your glass, your breath hitching in your throat as that familiar sensation took you over, holding you hostage.

This.  This was probably why none of the people you dated ever seemed to work out.  You’d tried… God, you’d tried… some of them were nice, good people.  But you couldn’t help but search for that feeling – this feeling – each time you met someone new.  And every single time it fell short. It was an impossible standard, an invisible bar that no one was able to jump.  Deep down you knew this, yet you couldn’t figure out how to let it go. It was just music, right? Played by a handsome man who didn’t even know you existed.  But you didn’t want to let go of this feeling, to settle for someone that made you feel only an inkling of what he made you feel.  Or worse, to let it go and be left with emptiness.

You had no solutions. You were trapped in Aizawa’s maze of music, unwilling to find your way out as his notes weaved a cage around your heart.

You lost yourself to his melody, the club around you fading away.  Time lost its meaning as you watched his hands dance along the keys, his fingers nimble.  His half-lidded eyes were fixed on the instrument before him, his expression neutral.  To anyone else watching, he would look almost bored; but you’d seen him play often enough that you’d grown accustomed to reading the nuances of his body language, even across the smoky haze.  You knew his look of boredom was really a look of focus as he submerged himself in his art, his hands playing on instinct, a direct link between what he felt and what he expressed.

He loved what he did.

And you loved watching.

Hizashi’s voice interrupted your hypnosis.  “Another night solo, huh?”

You took a look at the bartender as he prepped some cocktails for some waiting patrons.  He had his wire-framed spectacles on again, the orange tinted ones, the color visible from the white backlight of the bar. His long blonde hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and he wore a pinstriped shirt adorned with a black waistcoat.

You chuckled and took a sip of your drink. “It wasn’t supposed to be.”

“You got stood up again?” You shrugged and Hizashi shook his head slightly.  “If they ain’t willing to show up, then they ain’t worth your time.”

“Probably more like the other way around, don’t ya think?” you replied wryly.

Hizashi scoffed. “Don’t let them get to you. They don’t know what they’re missing.”

You grinned and set your glass down.  “Are you flirting with me, Hizashi?”

He grinned back and winked at you through his spectacles.  “Always, darlin’.”

You chuckled and returned your eyes to the stage. “It’s okay…” you said thoughtfully. “Maybe it’s time I stopped trying.”

“Mhm…” Hizashi watched you stare at Aizawa and he raised an eyebrow.  “Y’know, I can get you an introduction if you’d like…”

“What??”

“Don’t play coy with me, darlin’.  You know who I’m talking about.  If you want to meet him, I can introduce you to him. We’re good friends, he and I. Known each other for years.” He commented.

You weren’t surprised by this news… you’d seen Aizawa join Hizashi at the bar on rare occasions after his performance was done.  But you’d always been occupied at a table with company when it happened. 

Watching him from a distance was one thing.  But actually meeting him?  Up close? Where you couldn’t hide your girlish infatuation?

You felt your pulse quicken with dread, heat flooding your body.  “No, it’s okay.  I wouldn’t want to inconvenience him.”

Hizashi gave you a skeptical look over the rim of his glasses before he shrugged. “Suit yourself, darlin’.”

The blonde stepped away, a new group of customers hollering for his attention.  You took a large gulp of your drink hoping it would quell your nerves at the thought of meeting the man on stage.  No. You definitely didn’t want to meet him.  The last thing you needed was for your interaction with him to be a dud just like it was with all the others, destroying your own secret little fantasy. He was handsome to look at.  And you fantasized about his skilled hands when you were in the quiet of your bedroom. But that was all it was; just harmless daydreams over someone you didn’t really know or plan to get to know. Besides, if you’d ever thought you had a chance with him, you certainly wouldn’t be trying to meet people through a dating app.

Gradually the time ticked by as you enjoyed watching the dark-haired man play, Hizashi stopping in to check on you from time to time and place fresh drinks in front of you.  You were content for the time being, enjoying the steady buzz you were maintaining as you enjoyed the ambiance.  Occasionally you people watched or engaged in conversation with Hizashi when he wasn’t busy… but for the most part, you relaxed as you observed the raven-haired pianist, letting his music ease the tension in your shoulders as the alcohol warmed your bones.

A few hours later, as you were busy talking with Hizashi, the final note on the piano rang out, signaling the end of Aizawa’s shift.  The sudden silence hit you like a bucket of ice water, and your eyes darted towards the stage, your heart pumping panic through your veins.  You had planned to leave just before his shift ended, just to make sure you didn’t run into him.  Maybe it was the daydreaming, or the conversations with Hizashi, or the alcohol... but you’d lost track of time.  Now you could only watch and wait to see where he’d end up, hoping beyond hope that he’d disappear like he usually did.  Only rarely did he linger for a drink.  What were the odds, right?

Tonight was one of those rarities, and you held your breath, your posture going rigid, as he sat himself a mere two seats away from you.  He never once looked at you, instead, addressing Hizashi.

“Old Fashioned.” He requested, his voice deep.  It sent a shiver down your spine as the blood in your veins turned molten.  You knew instantly that that sound was now committed to memory.

“Do you even need to ask?” Hizashi replied with a grin as he slid the drink to him.

You disciplined your eyes to stare at your own drink as if it’d open up a portal for you to escape through. But as much as you struggled to control yourself, the simple gesture of Aizawa reaching for his drink made you break eye contact with your own. Your eyes caught how his fingers circled around his glass, long and surprisingly manicured.  You couldn’t help but watch as he brought the drink up to his lips to take a sip, and from there your gaze followed the curve of his mouth, the stubble that framed it, his jawline, his eyes…

Your eyes made contact with his briefly and you quickly looked back down at your drink, your heart pounding in your chest.

Shit.  He caught you staring.

You took a couple of deep swigs, forcing the alcohol down your tight throat, letting the burn of it act as a punishment for your violation. This. This was why you didn’t want to meet him.  No words had even been shared yet and you were already making a fool of yourself.

“Long night?” Hizashi asked him.  In the background, the next performer entered the stage and began to play, and you couldn’t help but strain your ears over the music to listen for Aizawa’s answer.

“I’ve had worse…” Aizawa replied.  “You?”

“Busy, but I’m in good company at least.” Hizashi replied.  Your heart pounded in your chest as your fingers tightened around your glass.  Your eyes darted up to lock with the bartender’s and you caught him smirking at you, his small, pointed mustache following the curve of his upper lip. 

He wouldn’t…

Suddenly another customer called for him from the other end of the bar.  “Duty calls, friend.  Be back in a sec.”

And just like that, you were left alone with him.  Aizawa. Your mind froze as it warred with itself between actually talking with him or grabbing your things and running away. Surely Hizashi would understand, right? And you could always pay back your tab later.   You took another deep gulp of alcohol in the hopes that it’d burn away some of your cowardice. 

Before you could so much as open your mouth, the unwelcome sensation of an unfamiliar hand on the curve of your back made your body go rigid, every muscle poised to fight.  A second later, the scent of hot breath laced in the stench of alcohol choked the air around you as an unfamiliar man slid into the open seat between you and the object of your affection.

“Hey there beautiful…” he slurred.  “You’ve been by yourself all night… you in need of some company?”

You covered your hand over your glass and shifted away from him slightly, your demeanor cold.  “No.”

“Aw, c’mon doll… don’t be like that…” he grinned.  “You don’t come here dressed like that for no good reason…”

The man’s hand was still on your back, its presence making your skin crawl.  It made the fog of your buzz lifting slightly, your senses suddenly heightened in the presence of a potential threat.  Your eyes searched frantically for Hizashi.  He had a way of handling drunken idiots.  But he was stuck at the other end of the bar still, a drunk woman trying desperately hard to flirt with him. 

You were on your own, and this creep clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer. Your brain started to fabricate worst-case scenarios and planning for them, a million options running through your mind.  Screaming. Throwing your drink in his face.  A well-placed kick to his shin.  Your pepper spray.

Your free hand slipped into your purse, fingers closing around you’re the plastic cylinder.  The feel of it gave you a sense of security, even if it might be a last resort.  You didn’t really want to use it, especially with Aizawa sitting behind him… you never had to use it before, and you couldn’t guarantee your accuracy, especially in such a tight space.

You watched from the corner of your eye as the man’s free hand reached forward to grasp your own that covered your drink, and your grip around the cylinder tightened, a warning beginning to fall from your lips.  But your words were cut short as the man’s hand was suddenly grabbed by familiar, long fingers and bent back at an uncomfortable angle that made the drunk cry out.

“Hey! What the hell?!” the man demanded.

Aizawa took a casual sip of his drink with his free hand while maintaining his grip on the offender, before pinning him with a dangerous glare.  “She said no.”

The man’s hand left your back as he struggled to free himself from Aizawa’s grip. “Let go!”

“First you will apologize to her.” Aizawa ordered.

The man sputtered.  “For what?!”

You watched in shock as Aizawa’s eyes narrowed.  His thumb positioned itself on a digit and began pushing it slowly backward.

“For touching her without permission.  For insinuating that her attire makes it acceptable for you to ignore her boundaries. For being a disgusting pig.”

With each statement, he pushed the finger back farther and farther, until the man was buckling to his knees under the pressure in an attempt to alleviate the pain and prevent the digit from breaking.

“Ow ow ow! Okay!  I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The man begged.

Aizawa held him for a moment longer before finally releasing him. “Good.  Now get out.”

The man scurried away until he was out of reach before turning around to glare daggers at him.  “Hey, fuck you man!”  He shouted.  But for all of his drunken bravado, he stormed out of the club clutching his sore hand to his chest, as heads turned to watch him leave.

The hum of voices within the club fell silent for a moment, with only the band continuing their music. After the front door closed, the noise of people chattering slowly returned, countless sets of eyes turning back to their tables.  Aizawa turned his gaze back to you, the lethal look gone from his dark eyes.

“You okay?”

You nodded mutely, swallowing the dryness in your throat as your sweaty hand released the pepper spray in your purse.  Sensations warred within you, momentarily leaving you a confused mess.  The speed at which he came to your defense and his willingness to resort to violence on your behalf fueled a carnal need you didn’t even realize you had.  But even as hot arousal pooled deep in your gut, your heart still raced from the threat that had been quickly neutralized.

His eyes caught the movement of something over your shoulder and he cursed. “Shit.”

“SHOuTA!” Scolded a feminine voice.

He turned back to his drink, hunching his shoulders. “I told her not to call me that in public.” Aizawa muttered under his breath.

You spun on your stool to see the owner of the bar, Nemuri Kayama approaching, clad in a deep purple business suit with a dangerously low-cut black blouse. She was next to you in a matter of seconds, a cloud of strong perfume enveloping you as she snatched Aizawa’s drink from his hand as he began to raise it to his lips.

“What the hell was that?!” She demanded.  “What makes you think you can attack my customers like that?”

“Your customer was harassing this customer.” Aizawa pointed out.

Nemuri looked at you with her lavender eyes as if seeing you for this first time and paused in her verbal assault.

“Is this true?” She asked you.

She had a presence about her that instantly made you find your voice again.

“He was being handsy and wasn’t taking no for an answer.” You confirmed.

“Can I have my drink back now?” Aizawa asked.

She stared back and forth between the two of you for a moment before slamming the glass down in front of him, half of the contents spilling over the side. “Ugh. Fine.  But next time ask for one of my bouncers.  Or Hizashi.  Or me. Anyone but you.”

Aizawa’s mouth curled with a sly grin as he wiped at the spill with a napkin.  “And why is that?”

“Because you scare away customers.” She growled.

Aizawa stared into his drink, swirling its remaining contents.  “Well maybe you need better customers.” He took a sip.

“I’ll take whoever is willing to pay.  Unfortunately for you, this club doesn’t survive off of chivalry.”  She crossed her arms.  “Besides… it’s less about losing that drunken idiot and more about losing those who saw you almost break his hand.”

“I wasn’t going to break his hand.  I was going to break his finger.” Aizawa said.

You stifled a chuckle with a bite of your lip.

Nemuri rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration.  “Don’t try to make it sound like that makes it any better.  And you!” She pointed at Hizashi, who had conveniently shown up not a minute before.  “You know better than to leave him alone like this!”

“I can either be a bartender or a babysitter, love.  I can’t do both.” Hizashi replied as he polished a glass.

 Nemuri grumbled under her breath before turning her gaze back to you. “I apologize for Aizawa’s violent behavior.” “Oh I didn’t mind…” you confessed with a small smile, and you could feel Aizawa’s eyes flicker to you briefly.

 “And I apologize for the inappropriate customer. Alcohol is no excuse for harassment.  I guarantee he won’t be returning to this club any time soon.” She looked at Hizashi.  “Get her a fresh drink.”  

 “Already on it…” He replied, sliding a new glass to you and removing your old one.

 She looked back at you. “And your drinks are on the house tonight.”

 “Thank you.” You replied.

 Nemuri gave a satisfied nod. “Now I need to go schmooze the rest of our frightened patrons, which is exactly how I didn’t want to spend my evening.” With a final glare at the two men, she stormed off, her pointed heels clicking on the hard floor.

 You stared at your new drink for a moment, the desire for it lost now.  “Hizashi, can I have a glass of water?”

 “Sure thing, darlin’.” Hizashi replied and placed a chilled glass in front of you.

You thanked him and took a sip followed by a long, deep breath.  Aizawa moved into the now-vacant seat next to you, and you welcomed the closeness. The gesture felt protective, a warning to anyone else who was dumb enough to try their luck with you after that display.  Noticing the closer proximity between the two of you, Hizashi quickly made himself scarce again.

“Thank you…” you said to Aizawa as your finger traced patterns into the condensation on the glass.

“It was nothing…” he replied.  There was a long silence before he spoke again.  “I hope I didn’t scare you.”

You looked at him with surprise then.  Scared? No. Aroused? Definitely.  The dampness of your panties were evidence enough of that, but he certainly didn’t need to know that.

“Not at all.” You confessed. “I actually really appreciate it.”

Aizawa’s shoulders relaxed slightly, as if a weight had been lifted.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” you asked.  “You were so fast…”

Aizawa gave a small grin. “Piano isn’t the only thing I’m good at…”

You had no difficulty believing that…

“Were you a bouncer or something at one point?” you asked curiously.

Aizawa chuckled. “Yeah, something like that…” he took a swig of his drink, the ice in it clinking.  The amber colored liquid was nearly gone now.

His response only gave you more questions, but you forced them down. There was a fine line between being curious and nosey, and you were too worried of crossing it, thus ending your conversation with him.

“You’re a regular here.” He commented.  

It wasn’t a question – it was a statement. He recognized you. You averted your eyes away in embarrassment, feeling suddenly exposed, your anonymity blown.  How long had he noticed you’d been coming here?  Did he know how closely you watched him?

“Yeah.” You confessed, as you took another sip of water. The alcohol next to it was calling to you, promising to ease your anxiety, but you refrained for the moment.  You wanted to keep your wits about you while you talked to him.

“No company tonight?” he asked.

Oh.  He watched you more closely than you ever realized. You weren’t sure whether you were feeling embarrassed or aroused.  Was it possible to feel both?

“Not this time.  I got stood up.” You replied.

“Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.” He said, looking into his empty glass.

You gave a dry laugh. “True.  I’ve dodged lots of bullets lately.”

Aizawa chuckled. “I believe it…”

Contrary to his outward aloof demeanor, he was nice.  You could feel the tension in your body start to dissipate as words came easier.

“If you ever think you want to try a dating app, don’t.” you commented. “It makes for good stories, but sometimes it really makes you want to give up on humanity.”

That earned an honest laugh as he looked at you with a grin.  “Well now you’ve piqued my curiosity.”

You couldn’t help but smile back.  This actually wasn’t so bad…

With amusement, you began to recount some of your more outlandish dating disasters with him, letting him in on the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective.  Aizawa listened with quiet interest, making the occasional wry joke or, for the more serious cases, wearing a deep frown of disapproval.  He was a good listener, and the conversation flowed easier than you had expected, words falling from your mouth without a second thought.  It felt natural.  Comfortable. And for the first time in a while, you felt like yourself.  After you ran out of stories, Aizawa offered a couple of his own, and you found yourself laughing at his own tales of dating woes. As Aizawa talked, Hizashi stopped by to quietly replace his empty drink before disappearing again, a pleased smile on his face.  His brief presence reminded you of your own glass pooling condensation on the paper coaster beneath it, and you returned to sipping its contents, once again finding the buzz you had been enjoying as you listened to Aizawa.

The time passed by as the two of you talked about the stress of dating and relationships. You’d learned that Aizawa rarely dated, but would occasionally have to endure awkward matchups thanks to Hizashi and Nemuri.  You learned how much of a private person he was, how he generally avoided dating culture entirely in favor of letting life play out on its own.  Everything about him exuded a man of experience and maturity, a man comfortable in his own skin and content with his life.  You couldn’t help but admire him as you soaked in every little detail that you’d wanted to know, committing every little bit of information he offered up to memory.  He was everything you’d imagined; kind, respectful, and serious with a sly sense of humor that he only shared once he was feeling comfortable.

Once the topic was exhausted, you sighed.  “I think I’m done with dating.” You confessed.  “I’ll just resign myself to my singlehood.”

Aizawa pinned you with a pensive look.  “Is that what you want?”

Something about the tone of his voice made your pulse race with excitement.

“Well… It’s better than being repeatedly disappointed.” You gave him a side glance as you took sip of your drink.  “But if the right guy comes along, I wouldn’t say no…”

“Hm… the right guy…” Aizawa muttered as he returned his gaze to his glass.

Your statement was a bold one, filled with invitation.  You hadn’t exactly planned for it to come out that way, but it was too late to take those words back now.  You quickly tried to turn the topic back to him.  “How about you?  Any special someone for you?”

He chuckled. “No.  No special someone.  Not yet, at least.”

The words fell from his mouth like breadcrumbs leading to a secret as he eyed you over the rim of his glass. You felt lightheaded and warm, the tips of your fingers buzzing with numbness. Maybe it was the half-finished drink in your hand.  Or maybe it was the look in Aizawa’s eyes that made you feel drunk, the Earth spinning under your feet as you mentally struggled to find some sort of purchase to keep from falling.  

Was he…?

Hope held you captive and you suddenly became acutely aware of how close you were to him.  Your eyes traced the scruff on his jawline, the stitching of his shirt, the slope of his neck as his Adam’s apple bobbed with a swallow. A stray strand of hair had come loose from his half-ponytail and was hanging over his forehead, begging to be touched. Your fingers twitched.  If you reached out to tuck it back into place, would he let you?

You couldn’t muster the courage and averted your eyes. You were filled with alcohol and infatuation, you reasoned.  Your defenses were down, your judgment potentially impaired… what if you were reading into something that wasn’t there?  What if you were wrong?  

You watched Hizashi close out a tab for an older couple as you took a sip of your water.

Warmth pressed against your forearm and looked down to see Aizawa’s arm resting against yours. All of your attention honed in on the softness of his shirtsleeve and the warmth of his skin as his hand fiddled with a paper coaster, flipping it over and over with each tap on the counter.  The contact was intentional, calculated in its subtle intimacy.  It was a silent question… a tentative invitation, absent of assumptions or expectations.  Your doubt evaporated like mist and you understood.  

He was interested.  In you.

Your heart did a somersault in your chest as you sat there, stunned.  Time froze as everything that’d transpired throughout the evening flitted through your mind.  It was a perfect amalgamation of circumstances, leading to this single moment, giving you the one thing you wanted most.  You held your breath as you stood on the precipice, uncertain if your next step would make you fall or let you fly.  

You stared at the contact and carefully… slowly… brushed your pinky along the back of his hand. It traced the vein that stood out there, following it to the knuckle. His own hand let go of the coaster his was holding, his own pinky linking with yours in affirmation.

You couldn’t help the elated smile that spread across your face in that moment and when you looked up at him with a shy glance, he had a smile of his own, small and secretive as he stared at your linked fingers.  Slowly the rest of his fingers followed, twining themselves into yours until he held your hand, his thumb brushing sensually against your skin.  That single action alone was enough to reignite the fire in your loins, your blood racing through your veins from the epicenter of his touch.

Hizashi’s voice crashed through your private, titillating moment.  “We’re closing up, lovebirds…”

Your hand pulled away from Aizawa’s on instinct as you looked around the now empty club.  Only staff remained, finalizing the last bit of cleanup and arranging the furniture for the next day.  How had it gotten so late so fast?

“You want me to walk you to your car?” Hizashi asked, a knowing grin on his face.

In all that had happened that evening, you’d forgotten about that little arrangement.  But you weren’t ready to leave just yet…

Aizawa’s voice answered before yours could.  “Leave me the keys to the place.  I’ll walk her tonight and lock up when we leave.”

“Suit yourself.” Hizashi replied with a shrug.  He placed a set of keys on the counter.  “Don’t tell Nemuri, though.  She’ll kill me.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, friend.” Aizawa replied.

With that, Hizashi gave a small salute, grabbed his coat, and left.  You watched, your heart pounding as the door closed behind him, leaving a deafening silence in its wake.

You were alone with Aizawa. Completely and utterly alone.

Your turned back to face him and froze.  Aizawa still sat on his stool, but he faced you now with an elbow propped against the counter, and that simple distinction made his presence fill your space.  He stared at you, the look in his eyes unfettered now, deep and hungry. “You really do look beautiful tonight.” He complimented.

With the way the words fell from his mouth and curled warmly into your chest like a cat, you believed him. You felt beautiful.

“Thank you.” You said with a soft smile.  “You look handsome yourself, Aizawa.”

He took your hand again and slowly began to lean forward, closing the small distance between you.  “Call me Shouta.”

You swallowed. “Shouta.” You whispered, feeling the name on your lips.

His dark pupils dilated and you felt his other hand on your jawline, warm, long fingers wrapping towards the back of your neck to pull you into a kiss.

His lips were warm and soft as his stubble tickled your skin, and you leaned into it fervently, your hands finding their home on his chest. You could feel his toned muscles beneath the black cotton and a purr found its way to the back of your throat. Shouta took it as an invitation, coming off of his barstool to stand between your now parted legs, his arm wrapping itself around your waist as his tongue slid along your lips.  You opened your mouth eagerly to taste the bourbon there, to feel the wet muscle dance and slide against your own.  Every touch, every taste, every smell enveloped you further and further in the essence that was Shouta until your entire body was singing, teetering on the edge.

Oh God… you were not going to let yourself cum just by kissing him.

You pulled out of the kiss slightly as your hands pressed gently against his chest, and he retreated from you just enough for his eyes to search your face, a silent question in them.

“I-I’m sorry, I just…” your words fell pitifully from your flushed, wet mouth, your voice shaky with pent-up arousal.

One second longer. One second longer is all it would have taken…

Shouta’s hand on your back began to rub soft, slow circles. “Would you like some water?” he asked, a small smile on his lips.

You nodded, and he kissed your forehead before handing you your glass.  You drank greedily before handing it back to him, half-empty.

“Have you ever been kissed like that?” he asked curiously, as he placed the glass back down onto the counter.

You gave a small laugh and shook your head.  “No… not like that.”

Your confession left you feeling embarrassed, even as your chest felt it would burst from this latest turn of events.

You kissed Aizawa Shouta.

Actually, he kissed you.

You needed a moment to collect yourself, to process everything you were feeling.

So, you completely changed the subject.

“How long have you been playing piano?” you asked.

Shouta didn’t miss a beat, returning to sit on his stool to give you the space you silently needed. But his hand still held yours, resting on the counter as his fingers twined with yours. It gave you a sense of reassurance, that everything was okay, despite your awkward hesitation.

“My grandpa had one when I was a kid.  Used to mess around on it.” He explained.  “He finally got me lessons from a guy he knew, and I’ve loved it ever since.”

You smiled as you watched his thumb trace across each of your fingernails.  You returned the gesture, tracing the details of his own hand. It was like living a dream, to see them up close and feel them, every fingernail, every vein, even the pads of his fingertips. The number of times you’d fantasized about these hands…

“I always wanted to learn how to play, but my family could never afford lessons.” You confessed. “But my mom used to have all of these old jazz albums, and I used to sit in my room and listen to them for hours.”

“I can teach you.”

Your fingers stopped their tracing.  “What?”

“I can teach you.” He repeated.

You shook your head.  “Um, no it’s okay… I’d probably be a terrible student anyway.”

“A student can only be as bad as the person teaching them. ��Follow me.”

Before you could protest further, Shouta’s hand closed around yours and pulled you from your seat.  He led you up the steps of the stage and across it until you reached the black piano sitting forlornly in the empty space.

It felt strange being up on the stage, especially with the club being completely empty.  The stage light was bright and warm on your shoulders, and the silence sounded different there, affected by the difference in acoustics.

Shouta sat at one end of the black bench and pulled you down by your hand until you were sitting next to him.  The bench was small, meant for only one person, so you had to press yourself against him to be able to sit without feeling like you were going to fall off. Even then, it wasn’t the most comfortable arrangement, but you endured, if only to be close to him.

He released your hand and began his instruction.

“First thing you should know is how to find middle C.  Everything else will center around this.”  He pressed the white key with the thumb of his right hand, the note singing out into the empty space.  “Then, it’s D, E, F, G, A, B, which brings you back to C. That creates an octave, also known as a scale.” He played each note as he spoke.

“What about the black keys?” you asked curiously.

“Those are the half notes. Don’t worry about those right now.” He arranged his hand back how he initially had it, his thumb on the middle C key.

“Now,” he continued, “First, you must learn how to move your fingers along the keys.  Like this.”  Shouta demonstrated the motion again, his fingers playing each note slowly in a steady rhythm.  “The switch of the fingers is important. It will help you flow quickly and easily without having to watch where your hands are, which will be important for reading sheet music.”  He repeated the motion again, the sounds once again ringing out.  Then, he removed his hand.  “Your turn.”

You bit your lip and placed your hand how you’d seen his arranged and tried.  The notes were clumsy, lacking in rhythm and falling together as you forgot in your nervous haze where the switch of the fingers happened. Embarrassment flooded you and you withdrew your hand.

“Don’t expect to get it right on the first try.” He reassured.  “Let’s try it again.  Try to keep your fingers loose, curved like a bowl.”

Shouta modeled it again. You watched, but your focus was muddled with anxiety, attraction, and likely alcohol.  It was a poor recipe for learning, but you knew he was trying to make you feel comfortable, and you didn’t want to turn down his kindness.  You arranged your hand back on the keys again and tried again, with little improvement.

“I’m sorry, I…” you stuttered as you clutched your hand in your lap protectively.

His hand covered yours and you looked up at him to see him staring at you with warm patience.  “It’s okay.  If you don’t want to do this, we can stop.”

You stared at him, mouth slightly open as you thought about it.  You knew he wouldn’t hold it against you if you wanted to quit.  And sure, you felt silly being so poor at it when sitting next to someone who’s skills you idolized.

But did you really want to stop?  How often would you get an opportunity like this?

“No, it’s okay.  Keep going, I want to learn.” You replied.

Shouta watched you for a moment longer before he placed his hand back on the keys.  “Place your hand over mine.”

You followed his instructions, your hand looking small compared to his.  His skin was warm, and it calmed the shaking in your fingers.

“Watch where the fingers land.  Feel how they move.” He played the notes, and you could feel the tendons of his hand tense and shift, his fingers rising and falling like a wave.

“It’s like they’re dancing.” You said.  “You switch to your thumb on this key… E?”

“Yes.” Shouta replied in approval.  “Your turn.”

This time you focused, remembering the feel of how his hand had moved under yours as you played the keys, switching your fingers at the right time.  The improvement was noticeable.

He smiled.  “Good.  Now, for the other hand.  You’ll start one octave lower.  Can you find it?”

Your arm crossed Aizawa’s chest to press the white key, letting the sound ring out.

“Perfect.  Only this time, your pinky will sit on this key, with the others following after.”

You placed your fingers across the white keys.  “Like this?”

Shouta nodded.  “Now you’ll try the same progression with your left hand.  The middle finger will follow after the thumb plays the G note.”

You removed your hand so he could place his own and demonstrate it for you.  You followed after him, imitating his actions, but this time your attempt was worse than your first, your hand angled awkwardly due to limited space as you pressed yourself against him.

“That was terrible.” You laughed. “I can’t reach very easily.”

A small mischievous smile formed on Shouta’s lips and he slipped his hand around your waist.

“Come here.” He said.

You didn’t fight him as he pulled you into his lap.  His right hand settled itself against your stomach as his legs parted slightly to make room for yours, your knees drawn together between his.  The heat of his touch seeped through the fabric of your dress, weaving a tight knot of desire deep in your core that made your body go rigid as you tried to keep yourself from melting against him.

“Is this okay?” He asked, leaning slightly to see your face from his position behind you.

You licked your lips and swallowed, giving a nod.  “Y-Yes…” you answered shakily.  “Are you okay…? I’m not too heavy?”

Shouta gave a soft laugh. “No.  Not at all.” His breath was hot against your skin and you could feel the scratch of his stubble as he spoke, sending goosebumps over your body. “Let’s continue.”

He placed his left hand on the keys again with ease, regardless of how poor his view of the piano was with you in front of him.  He knew this instrument like the back of his hand; could probably play it with his eyes closed and never miss a note.

He played the simple notes again, C through B, fingers tip-toeing across the keys as he said their names out loud, helping you to remember them.  You watched carefully for where the shift in finger arrangement happened, the middle finger following after the thumb just as he’d described.

“You try.” He instructed, his right arm still wrapped around your waist, holding you close against him. You could feel the warmth of his chest against your back now, feel the strength of his body beneath you.

You loved this.  The lap-sitting, the lesson, the praise. Each time Shouta praised your improvements it sent a thrill through you from your head down to your toes.  To be complimented by him, even for something as simple as pressing a few keys… it only made you want to please him more.

You played the progression of notes with renewed motivation, once again showing improvement from your first attempt.

“Good.”

Your spine straightened against him slightly.  The thumb of his hand caressed your abdomen where he held you.

“Now you need to learn to do the same but in reverse, until you’re back where your fingers started.”

You moved your hand away to let him demonstrate and his right hand left your stomach, leaving an ache in its wake.  You watched both of his hands play the simple notes up and down, working together with ease. But you knew it was all a ruse… he made it look easy, but if you tried to do the same, you’d fumble clumsily.

“I don’t know about this…” you chuckled.

“It takes practice,” he replied, “until it becomes muscle memory.”

Shouta demonstrated it again, up and down.  And again.

You placed your hands over his, wanting to feel the touch of his hands under yours more than the actual pressing of the keys.  All you wanted was his arm around your waist again, his hand on your lower abdomen.  His touch was tantalizing, and you wanted more of it.  

He completed the simple scale progression two more times with your hands on top of his.

“Do you want to try?” he offered.

His hands left the keys to hold you again, his arms wrapped more tightly around you this time. You leaned against him, reveling in being held in his arms.

“I’m going to mess up.” You warned.

“Just take it slow.”

You shook your head a little and let out a small breath, shifting your position in his lap slightly as you leaned forward to focus on the keys.  His arms loosened around you, his hands shifting to your thighs.

It was likely an innocent action, intended to give you the freedom to move as you made yourself comfortable.  But as soon as the tips of his fingers touched the bare skin below the hem of your dress, that sharp zap of arousal tingled the ends of your nerves, causing you to suck in air and part your knees slightly, your walls throbbing in hopeful anticipation.

It wasn’t intentional. Your body just… reacted.  But Shouta noticed instantly.

There was silence at first, his hands still on your thighs, waiting.  Finally, he spoke.  “Y/N….” his voice was huskier now.  “How long has it been since you’ve been cared for?”

Embarrassment flooded through you.  Embarrassment at your sensitivity to his touch, embarrassment at the answer to his question... You hesitated a moment before words fell clumsily from your mouth. “I, um… a long time.”

A low hum rumbled from Shouta’s chest as his fingers brushing gently along the inside of your thighs until they dipped just beneath the black fabric. The action was experimental, a testing of the waters, and it brought immediate results.  Your thighs widened the slightest bit more as you failed to fight back a whimper, your hands grasping his arms in need.  Not a moment later you could feel the growing firmness of his cock begin to press against your backside, despite the restriction of Shouta’s jeans. Shouta’s hands halted again their movement, waiting. He was miraculously under control despite his obvious arousal, and you envied him.

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked, his voice low.

Of course you did.  It was obvious you did.  Why else would your legs be parting like the red sea as if he were Moses?

But for some reason, your body language wasn’t enough for him.  He needed to hear it.  A sense of urgency filled you, desperate need driving you.  At this point, you’d give him whatever he wanted…

“Yes.” you begged. “Please, Shouta... Please touch me.” You leaned back against him, allowing the angle of your hips to tilt as your hands guided him further beneath the skirt of your dress.

With you draped onto him, your head tilted back, Shouta kissed the curve of your neck as his hands gently gripped the insides of your knees, pulling your legs apart until they were draped over his own.  You were open for him now, your skirt hiked halfway up by the spread of your legs.  

Your heart pounded in your chest with so much excitement that you could feel your own pulse in your neck and between your legs.  This was happening… This was really happening… How many times had you fantasized about this very thing?  How many times had you longed for this man, whispered his name on your tongue only to be met by the empty silence?  And now here he was, freeing you from the shackles of your loneliness in the best way possible.

Shouta’s hands pushed the fabric up the rest of the way until it was pooled around your hips, exposing your panties.  The thin cotton fabric did little to protect your aching cunt from the cold air, and you sucked air through your teeth at the sensation.  His fingers traced invisible lines up the inside of your thighs, leaving nothing but singing nerves in their wake that cascaded into a shiver that rolled over your flesh, leaving goosebumps.  Your body was already moving of its own volition, hips rolling, eager for Shouta’s fingers yet simultaneously attempting to grind down onto his restrained cock.  Your breaths were already coming in hot and ragged, every inch of you frantic for the release that it had been denied all evening.

Shouta gave a low growl, his left hand holding down your hip, halting your movements.  “You better stop that…” he warned.  

No doubt your girating was making things difficult for him on his end.  But you didn’t care.  You were an unfettered, horny mess now.

A whine escaped your lips at his restriction.  In response, Shouta’s left hand trailed up the length of your body, caressing over your breast before finding its home on your neck.  His palm was against your voice box now, his fingers long enough to wrap around your throat and reach your jaw.  There was no force in his hold, but it still held power over you, ushering your body into stillness while your chest heaved with heavy breaths.

“Patience.” He whispered. “Let me take care of you.”

Shouta followed up his words with more gentle kisses along your neck, your shoulder… wherever his lips could reach with you on his lap.  The feel of his hand on your throat was a reminder of who was in control.  But it was also a promise - a promise to ensure your needs would be met.

Once Shouta was sure he had your compliance, his right hand travelled the remaining distance of your inner thigh to arrive at your panties, where moist heat greeted him.

A low hum of approval rumbled in his chest, vibrating against your back.  “You’re so wet.”

A pitiful “yes” was all you could muster before the tips of his fingers brushed gently against your clothed sex, stealing your voice and replacing it with a gasp.

Slowly Shouta pet you, his fingers stroking gentle circles over the wet cotton, teasing the sensitive flesh beneath.  With his hand still on your neck, you kept your body torturously motionless as he gradually increased the pressure of his digits, reducing his speed as he passed over your clit to drag the pads of his fingers over the bundle of nerves.

You swallowed the pooling saliva in your mouth, the action causing your throat to press against his hand. “Please…” you begged. “I can’t…”

Shouta was strict, but not cruel.  He obliged, slipping his fingers beneath the cotton to swim his digits into your juices, never breaking his circular, rhythmic motion over your slick entrance.  The scent of your arousal surrounded both of you, thick and heavy.

“Fuck, Y/N…” he growled against your skin.

Two of his fingers dipped into you then, slow at first, allowing you to stretch around him as your walls quivered.  Your thighs tensed at the intrusion, welcoming the stinging pressure as your core burned with fire. He withdrew his fingers slowly and you lifted your head to watch in carnal fascination to see his fingers shining wet down to the knuckles. He pushed them into you again, curling his fingers towards the sensitive, spongey tissue along the top of your walls, his thumb pressing down on your wet clit.  A zap of stimulation fired from your core before fizzling away, a teasing warning of what was to come.

“Oh-Oh fuck…” you gasped as one hand reached back and grabbed a fistful of Shouta’s thick, dark hair.

He picked up his pace then, his thumb driving firm circles around your swollen pearl as the sounds of your wet hole being finger-fucked filled the silence of the empty stage.  With each pass of his thumb, with each curl of his fingers, the heat grew hotter, your cunt swollen and burning with the need for release.  Your thighs were tensed so tightly now that it made your legs lift and you had to brace your feet against the piano, discordant notes ringing out to join the sounds of your heavy pants and wet squelching in a lewd song. Shouta’s hand left your throat to hold you under your thigh to keep you steady as his other hand worked fast and hard to unravel you.  With the absence of his touch on your neck, you were free to move your hips, grinding hard into his hand, his lap, whatever part of him you were touching.  Your grip on his hair tightened, mirroring the tension building within you, clinging to him like the boughs of a tree knowing that any second the flood would come.

Shouta was your lifeline, your rock, your destroyer.  You were the waves and he was the shore, and your body tensed to prepare itself to crash against him.

“Come on, baby…” Shouta whispered gruffly.  “I’ve got you. Cum for me.”

You came with a cry, loud and frantic as your walls clamped down on his fingers.  The ball of heat that you had been carrying like a stone exploded within you, incinerating every nerve from the inside out, leaving nothing but sweet, sharp, euphoria in its wake.  Your walls spasmed repeatedly, sucking greedily on Shouta’s drenched fingers, as you cried and moaned, bucked and arched.  Shouta’s arm was around your waist, holding you against him to keep you from sliding off of his lap as you rode the high of your orgasm, tumbling like a waterfall over and over again to finally become a puddle in his strong arms.  

Shouta held you silently against him as your body twitched with aftershocks of pleasure.  Once your spasms subsided and he was sure you wouldn’t fall from your perch, Shouta released his hold around your waist to draw his fingers up and down your arm, creating goosebumps under his gentle touch.  His fingers were still in you, his hand cupped between your legs.  The warmth of his touch on your tired cunt was comforting, and it brought forth a content moan from your parted lips.  Shouta smiled as he planted another kiss on your shoulder.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that with him.  But you finally made yourself sit up when you felt sleep starting to drag you down into its murky depths, your limbs feeling heavy.

Finally, Shouta spoke. “Better?” he asked.

You gave a laugh.  “Much.”  You looked down at yourself in amusement. “You made a mess of me, though…”

Shouta gave a satisfied hum and stared at his hand that held you.  “I like you messy.” He stated.

“So, you’re just gonna leave me like this?” you teased.

He laughed and withdrew his fingers, wiping the slick coating them onto his jeans.  “As much as I like that idea, no.”  He adjusted your ruined underwear and the hem of your dress back into place before turning you around in his lap.  His hands were planted on your rear, keeping you securely and comfortably in place.  “It’s late. We should get you home.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.  “What about you?” you asked, your eyes glancing down to his lap. Your hands began to trail down his chest to reach the button of his pants, eager to reciprocate.

Shouta smiled at you and grabbed your hands, bringing them back up to plant kisses on your palms.  “Tonight was about you. There’ll be more opportunities for both of us later.”  You pouted and he chuckled. “Don’t give me that face.”

“It hardly seems fair…” you muttered.  You were looking forward to enjoying more of him… you didn’t want tonight to end.

He hummed as he began to trail kisses along your jawline and you arched your neck to allow him better access.  “We both… need sleep.”

Sleep? With his mouth on your skin, sleep was the last thing on your mind.  Shouta pulled his lips away to look into your eyes again and you could see the fatigue there, dark circles framing bloodshot eyes.  He really did look incredibly tired, and you couldn’t help but wonder how late it really was.  You brushed the errant strand of hair off of his forehead, tucking it behind his ear.

“Okay...” you softly agreed.

“You should come back tomorrow night.” He mused, the mischief back in his eyes. “We can continue our piano lessons.”

“I’d like that.” you smiled.

 You couldn’t wait.