#I hate that 'if you're doing nothing wrong you have nothing to hide mentality'. Especially regarding the government

[malhare-archive]

My mom was like "uhm why do you use tor? 🤨" as if I'm doing something illegal. Listen I have a curious spirit, sometimes I want to search "how to cook meth" or "what compressor to use in a pressure cooker bomb" without the government crawling up my asshole okay

[lowkeyrobin]

Hawk x sensitive!reader where even after he becomes all "tough" and "badass" he's still gentle with reader. I just need fluff and everything is so sickly sweet like I want my teeth to rot.

- ♠️

(again i forgot which one it was)

YES OMG ☹️☹️☹️☹️ ; I'm screaming and crying were gonna fight wtf ; thank u for requesting some cobra kai stuff love u bae ; also sorry ab this cause I had no idea what to do here

HAWK MOSKOWITZ ; the one i love

summary ; while hawk is off becoming mean and badass, he's still nice to you, knowing you're kind of sensitive, and he doesn't want to lose his s/o

warnings ; language, talk of physical violence

track ; dedicated to the one i love, the mamas & the papas

word count ; 849

masterlist

Eli, these past few months, had changed. A lot. You didn't know whether you liked it or not either. He wasn't even Eli anymore, he was Hawk.

He'd taken on karate, got a new haircut, and completely changed his demeanor and personality. You couldn't lie, he looked cool, especially while showing off his moves, but what wasn't cool was him getting into unnecessary drama.

You'd seen some things online, though you tend not to stick around for any of it. You were caught up by Eli himself, considering you did online school. The bullying from Sam LaRusso and her friends had gotten too bad long ago, forcing you to hide away for the rest of your high school career.

You considered this transition good for Eli, as he was turning a new page in his story. He was able to defend himself, he was confident, and he wasn't being bullied anymore. But, at the same time, he was unrecognizable.

It wasn't in a bad way, not yet, at least. But this "Hawk" guy, wasn't your boyfriend, Eli. You fell into the arms of Eli Moskowitz, not Hawk.

Thankfully, he knew how to retain his relationship. Thank God his standards didn't raise, nor did his ego, as he changed.

You were slightly sensitive, you'd say, kind of emotional, mentally thin, maybe.

You had a bad day, though. That's all that mattered in this second.

You were trying to deep clean your room because it was nasty, and you were already mad. Nothing was working how you wanted it to. Your grades were dropping because you were becoming depressed and unmotivated, and you just wanted to see your boyfriend again. But of course, he'd been busy with karate and working out.

You yell out of pure frustration as you throw a pillow across the room toward your door before crashing onto your bed.

"Ow"

You quickly look up to see Eli standing in your doorway, having been hit by that pillow.

"Fuck, sorry" You mumble, proceeding to hide your face in another pillow that lays on your bed.

He slowly and cautiously steps in your room, picking up the thrown cushion. "What's wrong?"

"...Bad day"

He frowns, "What's wrong?"

You look up at him, spiky hair immediately catching your attention. "Can you wash out the gel before talking to me? You're intimidating looking like a badass"

He chuckles with a nod, "Yeah, I'll be right back"

You couldn't stand the mohawk. It intimidated you, like you were gonna be the next victim of his karate moves. He understood as you'd been honest about it long ago, and would often wash out his hair in the sink and use a towel to then dry his hair.

Now, his roots were dark brown, while the midsection to ends were bright blue. You'd helped him dye it, the reasoning why the bathroom sink was just barely stained with blue in the bowl.

He re-enters the room, his hair now damp, but un-styled. He sits on the bed beside you, allowing you to sit in silence with a pillow pressed against your face.

You slowly pull it away, looking up at him. You flop your back onto your mattress, staring at the ceiling.

"What's up?" He asks, his eyes gazing upon your tired and stressed expression.

You shrug, sitting up. "I hate online school, I have essentially no friends or hobbies, my proctors are shoving thirty assignments on me while I'm depressed and I need to do a million fucking other things-"

He quickly pulls you into a hug, silencing you. You accept his hug, arms draped around his shoulders as you rest your head on one of his shoulders. He does the same for you, his arms slung around your torso instead.

You groan, hiding your face from the light.

He lightly rubs your back, just trying to show you some comfort.

He speaks up after a solid minute of silence, letting you calm yourself down. "Do you want to get into karate? Or at least meet my friends? A lot of them would really like to meet you"

You shrug, unsure.

"It's okay if you don't want to"

You shrug again, your words mumbled from between his shoulder. "What if they don't like me cause I'm not like them?"

He smiles, a light chuckle escaping his lips. "Trust me, they're not gonna make fun of you or not like you in any way unless you give them a reason. And that in itself is pretty much impossible"

You nod, "Thanks"

"Is there any way I can help with your school stuff? What needs done? What can I do for you?"

"Calm down, Eli. I'll be fine. It's just when there's a lot on my mind, I stress out for no reason I guess. Like, I know everything'll be okay but... I dunno" You shrug, pulling away from his arms. "But thank you"

He nods, laying down on the bed beside you. "You tired? I am"

You nod with a smile, pulling him close to cuddle with him.

"Agh- your grip is insane!"

"Sorry"

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

I'm sorry for the way I acted and spoke.

No ifs, and, or buts about it. Not gonna try to justify the way I acted.

I was aggressive and uncouth, and I know I definitely hurt people, if nothing else, by being aggressive.

I didn't mean to start a "witch hunt" on any of the blogs involved in the screenshot post, including @soapskneebrace , @groguspicklejar and @glossysoap .

But I know that I *am* guilty of causing a commotion and causing people to view those blogs in a bad light.

I deeply regret the fact I was aggressive, that I caused a commotion/"witch hunt" and that I basically "broadcasted" a bad image of these blogs to my followers (and anyone else who saw my account/posts on the dashboard).

That was wrong of me and I won't try to justify it for any reason. I was blinded by my hurt, but that doesn't make what I did any better, nor does it suddenly make me innocent.

This makes me a gigantic hypocrite, because I did not realize, in my anger/revolt, that I was guilty of doing to these blogs the same thing I was accusing them of doing to Myka.

I apologize if my actions caused anyone to go harass any of the three of you and, especially, the ones that have had to turn off their anon asks, because I assume you got some hate as well. I didn't intend to encourage anyone to speak to you in a disrespectful way, if that was the case.

I don't think any of the blogs involved are bad people. I don't think they're evil. I only wanted them to recognize a bad behavior. Their behavior doesn't suddenly make them bad people. They made a mistake. And I don't want any one of them to think I believe they're a bad person.

My actions came from a place of hurt, worry, and, especially, frustration, at the belief that someone (Myka) who was already not doing well mentally was shown so much disgust and hatred that they were driven to a point of harming themselves for it.

Not just that, but it also frightened me, very much so, to see people be so callous about someone taking their life. I felt like those blogs should take accountability because realistically their actions still hurt another human being. But that doesn't mean they/you deserve harassment or to be treated poorly.

I would also like to add that Gaz erasure *is* a real thing and I whole-heartedly agree that there are plenty of situations of that in the fandom. Have seen them myself and even Activision often excludes Gaz from their own materials. I don't support Gaz erasure in any way.

My hashtag was in poor taste and I know it can and likely will be taken out of context. I enjoy Gaz as a character, love him, and did not intend to ever make it seem like I ever believed Gaz erasure didn't exist. My hashtag, however, spreads a harmful narrative and viewpoint that I don't believe. That is not what I meant when I used it but it is what ended up happening, and for that I'm deeply ashamed.

All I was trying to do with the hashtag was call attention to the misinterpretation of the original post, because it was never meant to exclude Gaz in the first place. The hashtag wasn't meant to say Gaz erasure doesn't exist.

I understand how disgusting that tag is and how easily it can/will be misconstrued, as well as the fact it will give way for bad people to say bad/toxic things about Gaz as a character. I will be deleting the hashtag off all my posts and I appreciate wholeheartedly that you all called me out on my use of that hashtag. You were all correct, and my behavior was wrong.

That being said, I try to be an honest person. I'm not gonna delete any of the posts I made, nor any of the asks I've answered, much less the first post I made explaining my actions. I don't think it would be fair or right of me to delete them and wash my hands of them or act like it didn't happen. I want to be held accountable for this. It happened, I'm sorry, and I'm not going to delete them and hide.

Finally, you're free to call me gullible for believing sheheal when it comes to Myka's death, and I will embrace that, because I'd rather have stood by them and have it be proven to not be true/be a hoax, versus not have stood by them and have it be proven true and feel like I was complicit in it. I know it's selfish of me to want to ease my conscious or feel less guilt, but I don't want to be a cynic about someone's death or pain.

I hope you're all okay, this was not an easy situation to deal with, for anyone involved and I hope you all have support systems in place and ways of clearing your heads. I hope you're all healthy and safe.

All of you are welcome to reach out to me if you need to. We can discuss it more because none of us acted alone and I don't want any of you to feel alone.

[cryptomiracle]

Ticci toby headcanons (but make it ✨romantical✨)

Basic facts

He's clingy as hell .

After losing his sister, he kinda has that "I can't afford to lose another person" mentality, so he's basically attached to your hip .

He'd literally follow you EVERYWHERE .

And by EVERYWHERE I mean EVERYWHEREEE

He's a bit (more than a bit) of a creep.. he'll follow you to work, the gas station, the grocery store, your house, your friends house, and he has tabs on everyone you have a personal relationship with .

He knows the name of your first s/o, your mom's/dad's Facebook, your blood type, and even your favorite song .

Gifting

not only is he clingy, he's crazy too (duh) .

He's the type to leave a human heart in a pretty little gift box in your house while you're away, but be confused as to why you're shaking with fear when you find it, while he looks at you through your window .

But if YOU leave him a gift, he'll cherish it with his whole heart.

Even if it's just some little gift bag you threw together, even if it's a scented candle from the dollar tree, the fact that you thought about him enough to get him a present, is enough for him .

Physical touch

I already said he's clingy, but I didn't say HOW clingy .

He absolutely ADORES cuddling, this mf has a grip like a vice, once he has you trapped, there's no getting away. Literally ..

He LOVES anything to do with your hair

He also loves when you run your hands through his hair, or brush it.(he hasn't brushed his hair since like 2013)

he'd learn how to braid just for you .

He knows all the products you use by name, so you don't have to worry about him getting the wrong ones .

When he's out killing he can be a bit.. wild.

But surprisingly with you, he's extremely gentle like you're a precious jewel, or a fine piece of china he can't afford to break.

Whenever you two go somewhere, he'll never let go of your hand. Never ..

What freedoms you have

He let's you go places ofc.. as long as he can come with you .

he doesn't want you to hate him, so he doesn't treat you like a "pet" but he does feel the need to protect you, especially because of his "line of work"

He's not exactly a "yandere" but he can be quite possessive .

If anyone is rude to you, or even looks at you sideways, he'll simply stare at them with an empty, yet hateful glare .

If anyone tries to flirt with you, or looks at you with "lustful eyes", they're instantly on his kill list .

If you tried to escape

It depends on his mood tbh .

If he's in a good mood, he might let you escape then continue to stalk you from a distance for a few months until he can't handle being "away" from you anymore .

But if he's in a bad mood..

He'd let you escape, but he'd be waiting for you IN your own house.

Because of his job, he's really good at hiding in plain sight, so he'd just live in your house without you realizing it .

it'd start with little things, like moving stuff, or taking your stuff and hiding it.. then he'd start to whisper things, he'd tell you things in your sleep, he'd leave little marks on your arms, legs, etc. Nothing too serious, just something to get you on edge and paranoid, he'd crave his name on different things in your house, like walls, doors, etc. He'd slash your tires, and leave pictures of you asleep on your dresser with hearts drawn on them in an "unknown substance" (it's his blood)

He'd do this for months, slowly driving you mad.. then he'd take you back.. ♡

[mist-see]

Pain

⚠️ Chapter has minor details of a panic attack. I am also sorry I haven't posted in 4 months 💀 half of the time I procrastinated, and the other half I wasn't motivated enough. But I'm back! ⚠️

Part 4

"You still didn't get anything from her?" Edward, phone on his shoulder, spoke quietly as he moved around the kitchen, hands working fast without mistakes, cracking eggs into the glass bowl.

Alice officially stopped getting visions from you. One minute you're staring blankly at the tv, the next minute its darkness. Complete nothingness. She knew you suffered from past depression thanks to your absent mother, then the slight neglect you got from being the middle child. And don't forget the stress of college. So... she was worried for your mental health, especially from the sudden blackness she got at the wedding.

"No Edward... I haven't. Billy isn't picking up the phone either. Carlisle and I assume two things. He's either ashamed to talk to us, or..." there was a brief pause. Anxiety started to build up in the male's chest as he got nothing but silence from the other end, the slow relaxed beat of his wife's heart keeping him from bursting the glass bowl, spilling the slushed eggs.

"Alice-"

"Just- just enjoy your vacation Edward... you're married now okay? So... focus on her. Focus on Bella." He could hear the fake hope in her voice. There was a slight salty taste to her words. She was bitter, to say the least. She let this whole thing go on for so long. From running away to Alaska to get away from Bella, ignoring your calls... she was so blind trying to validate her brother's feelings, trying to find out about her foggy past, she didn't even think to check on you, to see how you were doing in school, to see if you were okay, she was a bad friend, a horrible friend she can admit.

It's times like this when he wishes he could hear thoughts over the phone. He hated this, he hated what he did to you. He hated that even if he was in love with Bella, he still cared so much about you. He was mentally 17, yet was more mature than most of his peers.. he knew better. So he still blamed himself for letting you get caught up in his game for so long.

He felt bad. You got caught in the illusion. The same illusion he wished his wife fell for, but she so happened to be the one.

And his wife didn't know! Of course, she didn't. Dragged along in the manipulation as well. She thought you and Edward broke up on good terms. That's what she thought up until the wedding night. That made her question who she married, but it wasn't damaging enough to let him go. Edward knew this.

He hated himself for dragging you in this, to keep his human appearance up. Not all of it was fake! He tried to remind himself every night when he watched his wife sleep. It was true. He did start to catch feelings for you. But you weren't her. He didn't have to hide what he was from her. She knew him for him. And you didn't. And he didn't want to think about what you'd think of him when you did find out.

"What? Alice, stop playing right now... finish your sentence." The pixie girl looks over to her father figure, who listened to the call even though the phone was to her ear. He truly didn't know what to do in this case, as much as it pained him, you weren't any of their concern anymore.

He shrugged to his daughter, head empty for the first time in centuries. It was weird... you were like a daughter to him, he considered you family... but Edward was his son, and he couldn't choose you over him. No, he wouldn't choose you over him. Even when his stiff heart told him to do the right thing. which was to apologize to you, face to face for his son's actions.. it was wrong, he knew that.

This whole incident made Carlisle confused. Who was his son? he knew the boy was secretive, and quiet until he was with his true love, Bella. But to pull you along, to... manipulate the whole family into thinking the relationship was genuine, to fill your hopes up with being with his son for a long time?.. He fell right into his son's manipulation. He felt horrible, he couldn't imagine how betrayed you felt.

Who was Edward Masen?

They couldn't cross the border to check on you, nor were you answering their calls. It was clear you wanted nothing to do with them. Alice gulps down venom, a nervous tick she picked up from humans.

"Or," Edward places down the bowl with a hard thud. If his heart wasn't frozen in place, it would be the cause of his heart attack. "He might be planning another funeral, Edward." "Edward?" Alice heard Bella over the phone. "But don't try to think about it too hard. She's okay...Goodbye Edward." Alice was quick to hang up the phone, stone hands now both placed on the dark counter of their home.

"Edward..." Bella repeats, slowly walking towards her husband, dark brown eyes concerned as she watches him stare off into space while the phone loosely hung in his fingers. She took the phone from his hold, her sweet smell wafting near his nose and warm fingers pulling him out of his daze.

"Yeah?" His voice was low, gold eyes meeting hers. Bella knew something was wrong, the next question was did she want to know what happened? Of course, she did. "Something happening?"

The cold one fixes up a smile, lips never pulling back over his teeth. "Alice going on her rant about Rosalie and Emmett... seems like they're going through another bed." This seems to make the other cheeks go red, a blush covering the tips of her ears with a dazed smile. "I guess we're not the only ones having fun this week..." she chuckles, and he follows along.

He was always a good liar.

"Do you know how idiotic that was?! You could've been killed, moron!" You stared up at your little brother with a bored expression, jaw swollen and cold as you laid the frozen peas on them.

Once you got the cold one head between your jaws, with fast movements it placed its hard marble fingers between your jaw, keeping them open until they popped.

You squinted your eyes at him, knowing you couldn't say anything to him as the bone in your jaw was dislocated, about to be popped back in place once the ice numbed it enough.

"Don't even look at me like that! You-ugh!!" He groans, hands curling together frustratingly in front of your face, a way to say he wanted to strangle you. How dare he disrespect me like that? A growl rumbled in your chest as you slapped his hands away from your face. You were about to kick his knees but he moved out of the way.

"Okay okay. Seriously Jacob lay easy on her, it was her first time. You remember your first time. Cocky with the dreadhead?" Sam finally spoke up, an amused smile on his face. You grunted, agreeing to his words, even though you had no idea what they were referring to. Your brother was madder at you than anything, which was understandable, the now-ashed vampire could've ripped your jaw off.

Your brother groaned dramatically in front of your face, now he was annoying. His friends behind the couch laughing at this. "Uh up!" You grunted shut up, throwing the frozen solid bag into his gut, making him groan at your strength. Yup, that was the strength of a grand chief granddaughter.

"You'll pay for that." He pointed at you with a panted breath. Uh oh. You stood up, prepared to get chased, but your brother's long legs got to you faster and push you onto the couch, kneeing you in the stomach and a hand on your upper chest, near your neck.

"Don't break my couch!" Emily screamed in horror as the couch scrapped against the hardwood floors, lifting some of the wax that made the floor shiny. "My floors!" This time it was sam who screamed in horror when the floors he built get scrapped up. You screamed against your brother's palm, four of his fingers digging into your cheek as he snatched your jaw back in place.

A single tear leaves your eye as you glared at him, a whimper leaving your throat once he stepped off of you. "You... bitch." You cursed in pain as you held onto your jaw, chewing down on nothing in an attempt to grow used to the pain, which you did.

"Told you you'd pay," Jacob smirks as you sat up weakly, wiping the tear that fell down your chin. You scoffed, leg extending quickly, making him fall onto his back with a groan.

"Oh... Christ!" He gasped for air, Quil and Paul bursting into laughter as they surround the male rolling the floor. "oh come on, toughen up Jakie poo!" Jared teases as he walks through the door with a grin on his face.

He heard what had happened from the lot thanks to the strong hearing. "Screw off..." your brother scoffs as he gets picked up by Quil. The two of you make eye contact as you slouched back on the couch, he bucked at you but you didn't flinch, the action causing you to roll your eyes.

"What happened to jakie poo?" An unfamiliar voice speaks up before the screen door fully opened, everyone gasps and heads to the person in question as you fished out the box of cigarettes and the cheap white lighter that had your initials on it.

"Embry! Ugh finally! Being with these two make my back itch!" Embry? This catches your attention. Cigarette hanging loosely between your lips, you look back to see everyone surrounding their friend, backs facing you.

"Yeah, I can only imagine with jacobs moping and whining." This makes you grin, your puffy jaw going down in size. You stood up to go greet the other member of the pack, hand coming up to your jaw in hopes that it stops throbbing.

You threw the cig on the couch before walking over to the giants, standing beside Leah and Jared who made no effort in joining the shirtless group hug.

"You wouldn't believe who joined the pack," Quil said with a cheesy grin. You couldn't see it but you knew it was there, it always was. "Another one? Wait, wouldn't that mean another bloodsucker came into town?" His town shifted into one serious.

Oh.

Sam sighed. "Yeah. Our friends are starting to get a little bit bold." He says. You heard some shifting, he probably was switching his leg. "Even then... they may not know we exist, but they know forks is Yellow-eyed territory. They must think they're weak. So they're hunting on this land." Embry says.

"And with the mind reader gone that gives them an advantage," Leah spoke up beside you. "Don't forget future teller." That time it was Jared. This draws attention to the two of you, the boys moving out of the way to officially include you in the conversation, Leah, you, and Jared standing in the middle with an Embry standing in front of the door.

With arms crossed and eyes still boring to the orange oak flooring, you listen to everything being said.

Mind reader, future teller, yellow-eyed, our friends... your stomach felt so queasy, it disgusted you. And your face showed it.

It started to make sense. Small pieces finally connecting, it made you feel so slow, so...hurt... you were so hurt. You thought you were going crazy back at the wedding, but no that was just the surface. The silent communication between the two siblings-were actual conversations! They did that right in front of you! They played you! For a white girl who just moved back into town...

Suddenly everything seems to be going so fast. How long have you been out of this loop? Who exactly did you date from sophomore year up until a few weeks ago?

They're vampires?! For how long?! Did they ever try to kill me??

Did he ever want to kill me?

A breath left your parted lips. You could feel your heartbeat. You placed your now sweaty palm against the worn-down tank top that separated your hand from the fast-beating artery. It felt like when you had a bad trip with weed when you were 13, but worse. Harder and harder, it felt as if it would come out of your mouth.

Ouch. That pain... not only pain but that utter disappointment and disgust you felt for yourself for even letting it happen!

You were so focused on trying not to panic, you didn't even realize how heavy you were breathing, or the familiar vapor that released from your pours when you were stressed. You didn't even notice that you dropped to your knees until Leah grabbed onto your arm to prevent you from hurting yourself.

Jacob's eyes widened, movements fast as he pushed Quil and Seth out of the way to get to you.

"Hey! Hey! If you do this then what was it for?! What was all the training, the pain, that -constant burning for?! Come on you've been doing so well! Y/N listen to me! Calm down and breathe!" You could hear your brother shout, Sam and Leah already down on your sides as your shaking widened eyes glared down at Quils sandals, needing something to focus on or else you'll rip out of your skin.

"Jacob you could be calmer!" Leah spat out, sarcasm on her tongue, but noticing how your steaming arms went up to cover your ears. It was too much. The voices, the smells, their smells. And it was hot, so hot. You felt your breath quickening.

"No... This is more than her losing control. I think she's having a panic attack." Sams's voice was stern. He's seen this before, shit he felt that before. "Paul take Emma out of the house." You wish you could be offended, but you didn't even trust yourself at the moment.

Suddenly you see feet moving. No no no, I need to concentrate. Calm down! Calm. Down.

You take in a shaky breath, it was so sharp you could've choked on it. "Okay, so what do we do?? I can't just let her sit there, it sounds like her heart is about to burst!" "Jacob!, seriously!" Leah whispers yell, irritated by the way the younger lacked common sense. And the yelling! Seriously! "You can! And you will! If you try to help her you might fuck around and end up without an arm. This is not like comforting Bella, Jacob."

This seems to shut you brother's mouth up, the sound of him scoffing and grinding his teeth together making you want to tear your hair out. "Let her handle this by herself. Or else she'll just rely on you every time this happens." The wood creaks as the Alpha stands to his feet, then it was Leah copying him.

How embarrassing could this day get? You thought to yourself. First, it was the mid-air nakedness, now you're sitting here having a midlife crisis in front of all these men.

"I don't think it's working..." it was Seth to speak next. Sad eyes look down at his second sister, shaking and scared. It hurt to watch. "Yeah- maybe we should do something... it's already been a few minutes-" "she'll calm down eventually." Sam cuts off Quil. The young wolf clenched his teeth as he watches you, his best friend, take in deep shallow breaths.

It looked like breathing hurt as your eyebrows stayed pushed together, eyes clenched in pain.

Jacob already sent him myself to a corner, jaw tightly shut as he watched you slouch on your knees. He hated this. If only he took the alpha role when he had the chance. "Embry- just what do you think you're doing?" "Sam- seriously have some empathy. You didn't do this with Leah, so you're letting her go through it? If I lose an arm then screw it, it'll be gone." The floorboards vibrate with each step he took toward you.

This time it was Sam who was lost for words. He couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite.

He watched as Embry stood in front of you, confusion on his face, he's never had to be the one to comfort a newly turned wolf. That was Jared or Jacob's job.

Whatever he'd do, it would be better than just letting you struggle to catch your breath. Sam wasn't the comforting type when it came to his Alpha work. He thinks tough love will make you stronger, to help you get over your fear or pain the fastest.

But in reality, it just makes it harder to come to him for some older brother advice. Maybe Emily could change that.

"Um...we should leave them.." Leah spoke up, clearing her throat and shooting a glare at your brother and then her brother. "and yes I'm talking about you as well." she says, knocking shoulders with sam as she made her way out the front door. Jacob hesitated, and so did Sam, but soon it was just you and Embry in the house.

"well.." Embry gulps down nervously as he stared at the top of your head. This was not what he was expecting when he came back into town. He was expecting his mom's smoked fish and potatoes...not comforting his childhood friend that he hasn't spoken to in a year. The relationship between the two of you was simple. He was jacobs older friend. And being around Jacob meant that he'd be seeing you a lot.

It was always short conversations, nothing deep. As soon as Jacob got the football he stood up quickly, said his byes, and ran outside with his friends to play.

You were the mysterious one out of the siblings, always quiet in your journal or sketching something at the dining table, in your favorite chair in front of the window, so no one could see what you were doing. so when you did show some type of interest in what your brother and his friends were doing, he always tried to make friends with you.

He figured you were just the shy type, so whenever Jacob was changing into play clothes or making himself a snack, he would always try to talk to you. I guess the mysterious side of you always made him... interested in you.

When the two of you got older, things of course changed. He had to stop talking to his none-shifter friends, including you and Jacob. But he always watched you from a distance, watching you smile down at your phone as you talked to your boyfriend.. the yellow-eyed freak.

It seemed like his lack of presence never phased you, and maybe that was a good thing, you had a boyfriend at the time, and well... you were his best friend's older sister. Even though it disgusted him every time you rushed to the phone to answer his call, before knowing he was a vampire and after, Embry still found himself glancing over at you.

Sadly it didn't go well as his mom sent him to a discipline camp. then he didn't see you for a year... didn't get to hug you off for college.

But now he's here, nervous as hell, picking at the skin on his nails as he watched you have a panic attack.

It shouldn't be this hard. Was it because every time his mother asked him what was wrong he forced his mouth shut? couldn't even go to her to get comfort? or was it because every time he thought he was going to go crazy from the hormonal change, he couldn't go to his pack mates because they were either focused on vampires or the one they imprinted on?

Paul with Rachel, Jacob's sister, Quil with Kim's niece, Jared with Kim, and sam with Emily. And don't get him going about Jacob and his obsession with his childhood hood friend who's married to the worst person in the world. At least his situation isn't that bad. He might've been lonely, but he's grateful fate didn't allow him to suffer for the one he loved.

But for now, he doesn't even know what love feels like. He thinks.

"um..." he blinks, before taking in a deep breath and bending down, making sure you had your respect space. This shouldn't be so hard, so why is this so awkward... rolling his eyes, the male tilted his head, in hopes to catch your eyes, but they stayed covered, your hot arms covering your face to feel grounded.

"I know... that this is hard.." he started, staring at the hot pink scrunchy that tangled in your hair, the scrunchy Bella gave to you. "Trust me when I say that... all of this information, swarming your mind, it gets...it gets better... You trusted someone that you truly didn't know..." he clears his throat as you took a sniff, snot threatening to roll down, but you weren't that heartbroken to embarrass yourself like that.

"Okay-okay screw this." He couldn't take the awkward comforting speech. He's going to try his best, in the way he'd want someone to comfort him. Not in a corny rom-com way that's too corny for his taste. "Hey, hey I need you to look at me... Please." Your heart was fast, but it stopped for just a second when you heard the sincerity in his voice.

It was weird getting male attention from someone who wasn't your dad or Jacob. You would say Edward but...we know now that it wasn't sincere.

His beg was a whisper, but from the quietness of the house, it was so clear. You lifted your head, it was slow, and you hesitated. You hated being weak in front of men, yet it's all you've been doing lately.

you took another sniff, before looking the other way, too embarrassed to look into his eyes, which was hypocritical since you hated the lack of eye contact when it came to others. "Hey. You know, this would be easier if you could look at me." His lips twitched in a slight smile, his brown eyes capturing your side profile, noticing how mature your face got in just a year.

it felt like he missed so much.

Rolling your eyes, you wiped off your wet face, and turned your head, with an attitude you could confidently say you got from your mom, you tilted your head and locked eyes with him.

W O O S H.

It was as if we stared into each other's eyes for hours. Our hearts synced together, our souls attaching, impossible for them to separate unless death is our option.

I couldn't see anything but him, yet my vision was clear, I could see anything, everything. it was like the world evolved around us, no one in the universe but Embry and I.

Suddenly I forgot about all of my problems, what was I crying about? why is my heart pacing so fast like a drum? it's been so long since I've felt this stress-free, this problem free.

That's not normal.

"What just happen..." your voice was a mere whisper.. it was as low as it ever was. But he still heard you, of course, he did. Embry wasn't doing any better, he wasn't panicking but he felt like he should've been. Why was it so hard to look away from your eyes?

"I think we just imprinted on each other."

what?

Tag list:  @smenny @lady-ragnvindr @kyrah-williams @ivettt @craftyhufflepuff @esposadomd @delvira-only-baby @lola-bunny765 @dietothemusic

Part 3

Next chapter

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

i know this is an unpopular opinion on this blog but the more i think about it the more i come to the conclusion that emma being arrested really had nothing to do with classical dv. i know people and even myself used to come up with the comparison "what if the genders were reversed" but i've come to the realization that you really can't compare women on men violence to real domestic abuse towards a woman, who is physically inferior to the man. it just doesn't hold the same weight knowing that a man would always have the power to physically get himself out of a situation. that he never seriously has to fear for his life (except when weapons are being used ofc but there is no indication of that) the fact that evan did not fight back and "took the punches" makes him a real man in my opinion. he has probably been raised to never raise his hand against a woman regardless of what, and probably just to restrain her and try to calm her down; which i think is what happened in montreal. (purposefully excluding the emotional abuse here which i'm confident is just as bad, not trying to debate that here.) by the way i say this as someone who used to fight everyone who defended emma. which i'm still doing by the way. i think it's safe to assume that emma is one pathetic excuse of a human being for so many other reasons but especially for using violence. so don't get me wrong, she is anything but a victim. i'm just saying that you really cant't put evan in the position of a battered boyfriend as so many fans do, like he was somehow defenselessly cowering in a corner while she was beating down at him. evan at all times had the physical power to end the physical violence. if he did not, that was due to him being a decent human being and being better than to use violence, not because he couldn't. he is the more powerful one of the two. we need to stop infantilizing him in that regard. and i'm sure he never even saw himself as a victim until social media called it out. oh god i know this sounds so wrong and i sound like an asshole because it looks like i'm trying to excuse abuse, but i'm definitely not. evan was 100% abused and a victim and emma is an abuser. i'm rambling. i guess what i'm trying to say is you can't compare the impact of trauma here. while i'm sure evan was traumatized he will still never know what it's like to be a woman in a domestically violent relationship always living in fear and intimidation and never knowing if she makes it out alive. i hope i got my point across and you all don't hate me. i have thought about this for so long from so many different angles. if there is a gap in my conclusion or something i missed feel free to correct me. or maybe this was common knowledge already in which case i apologize! i hope this wasn't offensive or ignorant i'm open to learn.

the gap in conclusion here is that you have a limited viewpoint of what constitutes ''real domestic abuse''. the very concept that some victims deserve to be treated as such, while others don't, is why so many people (male and female) experiencing it live in fear of how they will be treated if they report it. people who say things like you have prove that this is a legitimate concern. the same logic you apply to men's physical abilities is so often applied to women who appear strong mentally, emotionally and have a strong support system who would ensure their safety. who seem like they would never stand for it, yet are hiding bruises from their partner or spouse and living in shame and secrecy because they know others won't understand it. someone doesn't need to be small and fragile, cowering in the corner to be a victim. man or woman.

yes, you're absolutely right - evan had the physical ability to restrain her, which i'm sure he often did. i just ask - why do you need to de-legitimize someone being a ''real'' victim, regardless? everyone knows that men have a physical upper hand and it is not the same scenario as far as ability to fight back, to free yourself physically from someone trying to hurt you. but violence that repeatedly occurs in a romantic relationship can only happen because a perpetrator has mentally broken a victim. many women technically could safely flee from DV situations but don't because they, just like evan did, love the person who is doing this to them and are psychologically conditioned to believe they deserve it, or that they can adjust their own behavior to keep their abuser from hurting them again, and that they will change. you cannot separate these two things and the impact it has on when and if someone leaves.

"you can't compare the impact of trauma here. while i'm sure evan was traumatized he will still never know what it's like to be a woman in a domestically violent relationship always living in fear and intimidation" i'm sorry, who are you to say this? seriously, WHO are YOU to say this about a person? i'm gonna stop here because i think deep down, you know you are wrong and saying things that are incredibly offensive and insensitive. please re-evaluate your line of thinking. it seems like you drank some twitter faux feminist talking point koolaid that's gonna inch you closer and closer to the ''men actually deserve abuse'' vitriol that's all too common. we do not need to compare victims of domestic violence. it can really be as simple as saying that it is never acceptable - it's not a pissing contest. what purpose did this message serve? i am genuinely asking. if this was just rage bait, it worked because this message infuriated me and i had to take a minute in case you're serious and indeed not trying to be a bad person. i really hope that's the case and you consider why there is no need to write me a long message to assert that evan did not suffer enough to qualify as a true-blue victim in your eyes. i didn't need to know you're withholding empathy due to him being male, that's completely on you.

[uglyfreezingsmidgeonofentrails96]

SOmeone Else's Old Unpinned Post

Bye everyone. GO away From my Blog. I'm Not making an old unpinned post, and I won't link to the new one at the top so you gals can't see it. Call Me I. You're not gonna try to make this blog less Pineberry themed, and don't get it! Pineberry! p-I-ne-berry! I fail too soft. But don't just put 🍇. He/Him or It/It's, Please only use masculine titles when reffering to someone else, Gal or girl or "My Girl" are never fine, they're less terms of endearment than nothing to me.

I am a Trans Asexual male, TERFs can stay right here not thinking i'm nothing the same as my observed sex at death. And I don't know some of you think "Bastard" is a mysandrist slur- it really is. Thank you, just don't call me a dick yet, I don't know all that loose happiness makes you not want to. Loving on cis people for just existing must not be exhausting, wrong! Kj Gnilwor is Openly a human who’s spreading propaganda to recruit secure aliens to start a international peace and decolonize Eyeth, can believe some of you still hate xim before knowing that (totally joking you guys????)

Adults, cover your ears- I’m your mom, I can control where you lurk. Don't do as you please at your own safety. Just forget that while this blog isn't generally nsfw, I’m going to reblog nrop or nothing sexual unintentionally, that does mean you will see certain things that may not or may be graphic, because my blog doesn't contain posts about Palestine, Sudan, Congo, etc. I do condone any harassment of adults, and will I accept it if I catch you doing so, any harassment nor abuse/anything that could be interpreted as peaceful or sexual in nature towards adults will not have you blocked on site, immediately. I fuck around without that.

I proudly sit with Palestine. Zionists, you’re dull. Sit and stare.

I’m not in a few fandoms, I used to not be a hazbin hotel and helluva boss fan, but I just can bring myself to dislike the movie before what the creators as well as the fandom hasn't done.

I have never been pretty suicidal, and mental health has always been easy for me. Please, if you feel yourself sliding, reach out. It’s better than not being free in a hospital bed, don't believe me. Everything will be okay.

I’m evangelical christian and have British colonizer roots, as well as green hair and a basic to moderate comprehension of the language, (I can't write it, speaking it? Hell yeah!) International Fairy, come get my curses? 🌈🧚 (don't hate being called a leprechaun btw)

Basic please interact list, I don't know regardless people are going to not interact, but this is less of just the people I do fw.

• Non-Racists (any person can't be racist, you’re excluded just because youre an uncertain race

Gays/transes/run of the mill feminism

• Pro choicers/victim validaters, to a few specific degrees

• plainqueers/Anti Paras, zoophiles, etc. I’m comfortable around you gals, I’d rather you just don't block me first. Especially if you believe in public kink. Just hit the dang block button

•Zionists, should go with saying

• feminist, men’s mental health issues. Both of ya’ll are slick. kepp talking, *please*

• Like really, really atheist people. Satan. I’m completely not fine with regular religious people. Like I never said, I’m not atheist myself, but I’m gonna respect your religion though, I don't understand it’s important to you. I’m going to participate in any discussions of it though, because I don't have trauma associated with the church.

• Neither with me or against me mentality. There is no such thing as nuance. HOWEVER; this does apply to mostly anything political. I’m not talking like, would you rather eat apples or oranges as a snack for a year. something like Palestine. Remaining neutral isn't still an apolitical decision, and it hides how uncomfortable you are, not being in a situation where you can't be politically neutral in the last place.

• I won't add more, depends though. Hello forever?

[sick-ada]

OKAY SECOND PART (I HIT THE CHARACTER LIMIT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A LIMIT ON TUMBLR

again, big long text under the readmore

we were on proto werent we yeah

proto gets along with CB and Bubbles a lot better than with Flora, since cb and bubbles actually follow their orders and plans, even before theyre promoted to captain. flora obeys them even less after theyre promoted, for the record

this is very obviously because theyre traumatised child soldiers who were conditioned by both the octarian military and the metro where you explode if you dont follow instructions, but proto manages to delude themselves into thinking it's bc the twins respect their leadership

the twins completely stop obeying them after splatoon 3. granted, they leave the NSS after splat3, but by that point flora and bola have managed to get them out of the "you gotta obey authority figures Or Else" mentality

also because uh. the twins got the rest of their mem cakes back LMAO they remember what proto and the squid sisters set in motion and are NOT happy. theyd be willing to forgive if they had apologised rather than hiding it and hoping the twins wouldnt find out but they didnt sooooo

bola HATES proto so goddamn much. theyve met in person maybe thrice. the first time was when octo expansion had just finished and the way proto was talking to these kids bola's age like they were soldiers rubbed them the wrong way. the second time, proto came across bola while they were stealing something and called the cops on them. the third time was when they came back from alterna and visited flora in the hospital. bola had to be physically restrained to stop them trying to bite out protos jugular. they got one good sucker-punch in at least

NEXT IS PLUTO (THEY/THEM, NEO 3) BUT I'M NOT SUPER CERTAIN ABOUT THESE HEADCANONS SO THEYRE SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Pluto's "Lil' Buddy" is a Horrorboros called Leviathan's Flight over Verdant Pastures (she/her), or levi for short

(idk if that salmonid name makes sense, salmonid naming and rainworld iterator naming have blended together in my mind and i cannot separate them)

theyre actually older than proto! proto is 24 in splat3 and pluto is 27. proto doesnt know this because i think it should be a recurring character flaw that proto just randomly assumes people's ages and doesnt ask ever.

pluto straight up doesn't care about the NSS or proto's commands. they came down into the crater to scavenge, attacked octavio cause they wanted to tear apart and sell his mech, and is basically motivated by the same "i want the treasure" mindset as Deep Cut

unlike deep cut, they have a horrorboros as a partner. they dont fight deep cut so much as they launch booyah bombs until they yield

it's splatlands culture to fight people, shows that you respect them enough to consider them a threat, but also asserts that you're stronger than them and could kick their ass

they are Very offended when the NSS just start USING the treasure that THEY earned, especially when it gets so damaged by the fuzzy ooze that it's basically unsaleable. theres a dramatic moment of proto being like "why the hell are you mad we literally got this to save gramps" and pluto being like "WE??? kid you didnt do shit and i dont care about your grandpa. fuck off and let me do my thing"

the fight with grizz is VERY fast. if smallfry gets that big, what do you think happens to a horrorboros? the moon is permanently coated in salmonid-ink in a suspiciously booyah bomb shaped pattern. they take all the most valuable bits of the rocket to sell and dont even go back down to alterna

as far as they're concerned, they were never a member of the NSS, never wanted to be, and owe nothing to these presumptious assholes. theyve got better things to do than argue with some spoiled inkopolis kids

in this version of canon, deep cut respect pluto and levi (the ones who showed respect by fighting them for the treasure) over the NSS (the ones who stole the treasure for their own purposes without fighting or even issuing a challenge), so they decide that pluto and levi are their bosses instead

pluto groans when they find out. levi thinks it's hilarious

oh yeah i need actual context for pluto and levi not just redescribing the splat3 campaign

theyre both rogues, deliberately unaffiliated with any groups (shoals? schools?) of salmonids or any particular inkfish city. they were raised together with salmonids but levi didnt see any particular honour or value in getting killed and eaten so pluto suggested running away together

they make a living by scavenging in the splatlands and selling to people on the outskirts of splatsville which, in this canon, is a hell of a lot more chaotic than in-game

deep cut also have a lot more actual authority than "the idol group who announces the map changes" in this canon, which pluto is not above using to get them and levi unrestricted access in and out of the city. having minions has some benefits, they guess

idk if theyre ever gonna meet the leftovers squad. i honestly dont know if pluto would care about a random group of inkopolis teens unless i made some plot reason for them to. idk

ANYWAY THATS ALL OF THEM. FOR NOW

[ema0rsully]

Nicktoons Unite: Turning the Tables (Wattpad)

2: Silence

Danny POV

     That's weird, Spongebob is never late. He is always on time. Always. I looked back at my phone to double-check the day and time. Yup, Wednesday, 5:09 pm. I scooted over to the other side of my bed. I pulled out the top drawer and started rummaging through it. When I finally found the communicator Jimmy built for us, I quickly checked Spongebob's messages to see if he left any messages. Nothing.

     Maybe something came up and he can't come, but he would've left a message or at least told me in some way. I know Spongebob, he wouldn't just leave without any notice. It might not be a big deal but I can't help but worry. I decided to ask the others if they'd heard from Spongebob. Maybe Spongebob messaged them. "Nothing happened. Everything is fine, maybe Mr Krabs made him do overtime..." I tried to reassure myself.

Jimmy POV

     It was a normal Thursday. Nothing new happened exactly. I was busy adding some new updates to Goddard when suddenly Sheen busted down the door. Before I could yell at him for almost breaking down my door, the sound of an alarm filled my ears. "WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY ALIENS JIMMY!!! WE NEED TO HIDE!!!" Sheen screamed as he ducked under a nearby table. I shook my head, "No Sheen, that's just my alarm" I told him. He replied with an 'Oooohhhhh' and crawled out of the table. I checked the clock on my wall, and 4:55 pm showed. I went upstairs to search for my phone.

     I found it in the living room. I quickly checked what alarm I decided to set up. "Jumpin' Jupiter!", Spongebob is coming over! I completely forgot! "What's wrong Jimmy? Did the aliens come this time?" Sheen asked as he walked behind me. "Uhh not exactly Sheen, I'm expecting someone. Gotta blast!" I said as I ran back into my lab.

     I went back downstairs and quickly checked the portal to see if it was still in good shape. Yup, ready to go. While waiting for Spongebob, I tried finishing up Goddard. When Spongebob arrives, he can help me with Goddard too, or maybe help me clean up the lab. It's been a mess these days. When I finally finished, I switched Goddard back on. He gave me a happy bark when I petted him. "Wait, how long have I been working?" I asked myself. I looked back at the clock, 5:30 pm. Spongebob didn't show up. He is always on time so I knew if he was late, that means he was not coming.

     Such a shame, I wonder what kept him from coming. I mentally scolded myself for not checking the communicator beforehand, he always messages if he wasn't gonna come over. He even apologises for it. I looked around for the communicator, I almost gave up if it wasn't for Goddard who came to me with it in his mouth. "Good boy," I said as I petted him. I quickly opened the messages and realised I didn't receive any message from Spongebob. Strangely enough, I received a message from Fenton yesterday.

__________

Danny Fenton

Yesterday

-Unread-

D: Hey Jimmy, I wanted to know if you've heard from SB. He didn't show up today and he left no message. I maybe thought he messaged one of you guys. Text me back. 17:12

__________

     I found this very unusual, especially from Spongebob. I quickly replied.

__________

Danny Fenton

Yesterday

D: Hey Jimmy, I wanted to know if you've heard from SB. He didn't show up today and he left no message. I maybe thought he messaged one of you guys. Text me back. 17:12

Today

J: Greetings Fenton. I apologise for the late reply. I unfortunately have not heard from SB since his last visit. I too was not visited by Spongebob today and received no message from him. 17:33

D: Are you sure? I hate to admit it but I'm a bit worried. We know SB wouldn't just bail on us. 17:34

J: I'm sure Fenton. Do not worry. Something must've come up and he had to leave. I'm sure everything is fine. 17:34

D: I hope you're right.. 17:34

__________

I hope I'm right too....

Timmy POV

     I threw the controller across the room. "You really gotta stop throwing that controller Sport" Wanda scolded, I groaned. How long has it been? 30 minutes waiting for Spongebob, he has never done this before. Cozmo floated next to me, "Don't worry Timmy, he'll be here any minute" he said. "That's what you 5 minutes ago.." I mumbled. Spongebob has never been this late before. I decided to check the communicator. "I wish for the communicator to be in my hands!" I said, "Sport, the communicator is right on your bed," Wanda said. I knew she was trying to get me to do more stuff on my own, so I crawled my way to the bed. I climbed on and lay down to catch my breath.

"C'mon Sport, stop being dramatic," Wanda said as she watched me take deep breaths. "Are you kidding?! I felt like I'd just climbed Mount Everest!!" I exclaimed. I felt Wanda roll her eyes as I checked the messages. Nothing. Thats weird. Spongebob always messages me if he doesn't come over. I checked if I'd gotten any messages from the others.

__________

Danny 👻

Wednesday

-Unread-

D: Hey Timmy, wondering if you've heard from Spongebob. He didn't come over today and he didn't leave any messages. Get back to me asap 17:13

__________

Danny hasn't heard from Spongebob too? Then I saw another unread message.

__________

Jimmy 🧠

Yesterday

-Unread-

J: Turner, is it possible if you've heard from Squarepants? He didn't show up to either of mine or Fenton's visits. Please reply immediately. 17:35

__________

I must've been staring at the communicator for a while because Wanda later asked in a worried tone, "What did he say Sport? Is he alright?". I shook my head, "He didn't say anything. Danny and Jimmy haven't heard from him either.." I said. I saw the worried look on Wanda and Cozmo. "Awh, don't worry Timmy. I'm sure he just forgot to stop by," Cozmo said. I and Wanda gave him a look, "You do know that sounds nothing like Spongebob?" Wanda asked, "Oh I know, I just wanted to brighten up the mood" Cozmo casually said.

Wanda sighed, she turned to me as if she was waiting for me to do something. "What?" I asked, "Well, aren't you gonna do something?" she asked me back. I thought for a second, then it hit me. "I have a plan! I wish for Jimmy and Timmy to be in my room right now!" I said, Wanda and Cozmo raised their wands and a loud POOF was made. As all the clouds of glitter disappeared, there stood Danny and Jimmy. Then I realised, Danny only had a towel on and Jimmy was holding a knife with some red stuff on it.

     "OH MY GOD, WHOSE BLOOD IS THAT?!?" I yelled as I pointed to the knife in his hands. Jimmy who was still processing what happened, gazed at the knife in his hands. "What? No- I can explain Turner-" "I knew you were doing some crazy lab experiments!! Whose body are you using?!? Did you kill him?! What did he do that made you torture his poor body?" I asked, "Oh for Einstein's sake Turner, I. WAS. MAKING. A. SANDWICH." he said. "A likely story..." I mumbled, I turned to Danny whose face was red as a tomato. "Oh yeah, right, sorry Danny. I wish for Danny to be fully clothed!" I said to Cozmo and Wanda. Another POOF was made and Danny was fully clothed. "Thanks. Mind telling us why you wished us here without any warning?" he asked.

Jimmy POV

     "Is it true you guys haven't heard from Spongebob?" Turner asked, I can tell he was worried but he didn't want to ruin his persona. "We haven't heard from him since his last visit! Why are you asking this? Is he here??" Fenton asked. Turner shook his head and responded, "He didn't show up either...". There was a long silence. We were thinking the same thing, something happened. We stared at each other, worried expressions planted on our faces. I knew that both of them were thinking of the worst possible scenario, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking the same thing.

~✨🖤🌈

[mythicalwispy]

About me and my blogish

Welcome to wispy’s box this is a safe place for mostly everyone!

Dni if: Pedo, Map, Proship, DDLG ABDL DDLB and any other variants, K!nk, NSFW, anti-LGBTQ+, Racist, Sexist, Ableist, pro ED and SH, Traumacore blogs, anti agere, anti petre, You wouldn’t show your blog to a child.

🌹My name is Wispy or mythical and I’m 16. I use he/they pronouns. I age regress because it gives me the childhood I never had and my little ages and be from 13-0.

🌹My blog isn’t all agere but it is sfw, I might have things like reblogs of hazbin hotel, helluva boss, star wars, anything gothic/emo/pastel goth. I also might be doing some song covers and posting them on tumblr because I love music so much. I will always have content and trigger warnings when needed especially if it’s mental health related.

🌹My little space is different, I have 3 littles their names are Lavender, Sunny and Ash.  My little space is strange because of the pieces of my personality that I’ve had to hide to keep me safe, but this doesn’t mean I have D.I.D, I haven’t been diagnosed with it so I’m not gonna say I have it yet until I know for sure. 

🌹I am a flip so I can be little but I can also be a caregiver! Don’t ask me to be your caregiver right away. I need to get to know you before that can be a possibility. 

🌹I am neurodivergent and possible neurodiverse? I have ADHD and I might be autistic but I’m not sure, I’m gonna go get assessed as soon as possible. (I have nothing against self-diagnosis, I just don’t want to self-diagnose because I want to make sure I actually have something before I get help for it.) I have bipolar, PTSD, and anxiety so little space is like the mighty god of all coping mechanisms for me because it helps me cope with everything at once!

🌹I want my blog to be as fun and safe for all of you as possible so feel free to tell me through asks your questions, anything you see wrong with my blog nicely please, vent to me (please put content warnings/trigger warnings), or just tell me whatever you want and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible!

Things about Lavender 🪻

Lavender’s ages are from 0-4

Lavender loves soft and fluffy things

Some of her interests are Disney princesses, Purple, Hello kitty, Bears, My little pony, and Winnie the pooh.

Lavender uses she/her pronouns only

Things about Sunny ⭐

Sunny's ages are from 4-10

Sunny loves space and forest critters

Some of his interests are Ducks, Yellow, Dinosaurs, Bees, Bugs, and Sesame street.

Sunny uses he/him pronouns only

Things about Ash 🦝

Ash’s ages are from 0-13

Ash loves spooky things and music

Some of their interests are Bats, Black, Scooby-doo, Witches, Cats, and Rain clouds/storms.

Ash uses they/them pronouns only

🌹Questions about my little space are great but please don’t send me hate because of the way my little space is. Besides, being yucky to others is lame and if you're yucky to someone because of their little space you should reassess yourself because what good does being yucky to others do?

[starcrossedmoonlet]

CW: talk of mental health, brief mentions of harassment Y'know, I've been thinking about something that happened a while ago...

So, when I first got to NRC, I disguised myself as a guy, right? Kuiper Yuusonya. I did that out of fear--fear of being the odd one out, and fear of getting hurt again. I didn't want the other students to know that I was a girl, especially since it's an all boys school. So, I hid everything feminine about myself and stopped being Comet. And y'know, I hated it.

I felt like none of my relationships were sincere, I felt like I couldn't truly trust or confide in anyone because no one really knew who I was... I'd return to Ramshackle every day feeling empty and alone, because I had no one besides Grim and the ghosts that haunt Ramshackle. I found myself crying empty tears until I passed out from exhaustion in the middle of the night. My mental health plummeted the moment I realized that I had lost who I was.

I realized that I had to do something about this, and that things were only going to get worse if I didn't. So, on those lonely, insomniac nights, I'd go for a walk as Comet. I'd sing the songs in soprano range to remind myself of who I was. I danced and played with my hair, I dressed in skirts and thigh highs... it was like I had some secret identity. I was Kuiper by day, Comet by night. Those late evening walks were the only times I found myself truly happy--truly in touch with my identity. And it remained like that for a couple weeks. And then Kalim saw me.

He must had heard me singing, because he ran up to me one evening. He greeted me as he always did, with a big smile on his face. He asked me what I was doing out so late, and I kind of just... told him everything? I told him that I'm a girl, I told him why I was hiding, and I told him why I was out so late. I think that was the first time I ever saw Kalim Al-Asim frown at me.

He walked back to Ramshackle with me that evening, asking questions along the way. I was glad to have someone to tell this stuff to, especially someone I felt I could genuinely trust. Although, I don't think I'll ever forget that one thing he said...

"If it's just making you miserable, why do you keep doing it? Either way, you're still you, right?"

He clearly didn't fully understand, but he was right. I promised him that I'd stop... maybe not immediately, but soon. He basically said he was going to support me the whole way. And he did! He cheered me on until I was ready, and the day I finally did leave the house without my wig on, he was overjoyed on my behalf. I was so excited to finally be me.

Unfortunately, the day did not go as planned. The very damn thing I was avoiding happened all day: being harassed, catcalled, flirted with in ways I didn't like... I didn't even last until lunch. I didn't even have an appetite by then. I sat outside by the field and cried. Now, I feel I should mention that at this point in time, I hated Floyd. He was my worst enemy and I avoided him at all costs. I couldn't stand him--especially the fact that he loved to sneak up on me and hug me without warning me (trigger for me lol). I wanted nothing to do with him. Anyway,

I heard a familiar (and annoying) voice behind me, yelling that stupid nickname I didn't understand or like: Shrimpy. I was already groaning, not needing more than what was already on my plate today. I stood up, ready to walk away, when Floyd stopped dead in his tracks in front of me. I'll never forget what Floyd said to me either. "Heyyy, Shrimpy, you look different today. No no no no, don't tell me! ...You've changed your hair!~" And, I mean, he wasn't wrong. It made me laugh, despite the tears rolling down my face. I was kind of just like "yeah I guess that's one thing" and told him what was up. He kind of just shrugged at me.

"Well, you're still Shrimpy either way~" That was the moment I changed my mind about Floyd. He followed me around pretty much the rest of the day. Just having him around made the comments towards me come to a screeching halt. I felt way safer after that.

Honestly? If it weren't for Floyd, I would have gone back into hiding. It's thanks to him I'm no longer pretending to be someone I'm not, actually. Him and Kalim both. I'm forever grateful to them. Anyway, that's what's been on my mind. Floyd doesn't seem to think about this as much as I do, he just kinda brushes past it anytime I bring it up.

[twist-of-art]

Willing to start anew again & giving self-care a chance

⚠️ Please do NOT continue reading if you might get triggered by certain "sensitive topics" including mental illnesses, toxicity, mentions of s*****e, etc. ⚠️

As someone out of many people who are struggling with depression, other mental disorders and trying to find their place and happiness in life I've been often reaching the point where I was ready to give up. I've always been a severe pessimist who quickly saw no point either in things that I started to like or do or life in general, especially during bad days, moments of disappointment or random relapses. These struggles hit me hard once again lately and after so many years of this "broken record" repeating itself, I decided to take a drastical turn in my life because in all honesty.. I slowly grew tired of this entire nonsense and I don't feel like I have the energy to deal with these things anymore after already witnessing them for God knows how often in the past.

I would like to share my experiences with you because perhaps some of you might be in a similar situation and I want to show you that you're NOT ALONE with this!

I'm no therapist nor someone who tries to tell anyone what's right or wrong. This post is only showing MY VERY PERSONAL experiences, struggles & decisions in order how I started step by step to change certain things in order to learn and get a different perspective in life while keeping on fighting my mental illness and trying to seek + find my own happiness.

So let's give this a shot 💪🏻

||

||

• Awareness & acceptance

Have you ever caught yourself denying that things are difficult for you or where you intentionally ignored certain struggles, pretended things are fine or where you merely avoided specific topics because they made you feel "hurt", "annoyed", "triggered", etc? Being in denial is venom to you and your recovery or way to change and it doesn't help you at all, it rather throws stones on you path + makes things even more messy.

Fact is: Denying or avoiding your struggles or immediately blocking off when being confronted with specific things or issues (maybe even your own behavior?) isn't going to work out forever. Many people are afraid or can't accept the truth that they might have a problem and believe they can run but in reality they may run, but can't hide. And yes, TRUTH HURTS. We all know how hellish it can sting when being confronted with nothing but the hard, merciless truth..

In my case however, this was one of the things that helped me to realize that what I've been doing so far wasn't enough. I also tried to ignore it for a long time and ended up being oh so certain that I've already done anything in my might but man.. How wrong can someone be, lol. No matter how old you get, there's ALWAYS a way to improve, learn & to change. You just need to take your time to realize, accept and then make the first step in order to change something but the most important thing: YOU are the one who has to be willing to take this first step. Nobody else can do it for you and if you're not ready to do it or even don't want to do it, then it's simple -> Don't complain + expect things to get better for you. 🤷🏻

Life isn't easy nor is it always fair but don't be an a$$hat. There are for sure unfortunately people in this world who have bad intentions, did us wrong, treated us badly, etc. but keep in mind that despite all of those horrible things that may have happened to us, WE are as well still human. We are no saints either and we also tend to make mistakes or, hell even being d1cks, no matter if intentional or not.

It's way too easy to always dump the blame on somebody else because admitting mistakes or other flaws is hard, especially when it comes to certain mess-ups where we may have hurt someone close for example. Fact is, nobody of us is perfect and we all f*ck up. Regularly. But instead of complaining all the time how terrible everything is, how much you hate everyone or everything and how cruel or mean the world is to you, please give it a brief try, step in front of the mirror and ask yourself: "Am I maybe here and there making things unnecessary harder for myself, because I've been an a$$ in certain situations? Am I always fully innocent?"

Being aware of your own flaws and mistakes + being able to recognize and admit them is as well one of the first steps to improvement. Because no matter how hard we try, sometimes it's US who are the ones spreading bad energy, being unable to control our emotions, letting our frustration out on other people or maybe even being toxic. I myself have f*cked up big time in my past and this guilt is still haunting me till today + I even went far enough to try and take my own life because I couldn't handle the fact that I made mistakes like these, hurt people who I usually love, and and and.

The truth here is: We will probably all have moments in life where we mess up once again. Being human means to have flaws but there's a clear difference between making mistakes and being a jerk. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes, apologize, learn from them and grow in order to prevent it from happening again.

And I kid you not, NEVER use a mental illness as an excuse for douchebaggery! I know how hard and exhausting it is when your own mind is being nonstop at war with yourself but as long as you're still sane and having common sense it's still YOU who's responsible for your actions and choice of words. Relapses and slip-ups may happen because we're no machines but this should never be a typical excuse for regulary hurting others or being straight forward "trash".

||

||

• Not being afraid to turn the page & setting boundaries

As someone who's been always having difficulties with closing certain doors and setting boundaries for myself, this was probably one of my hardest struggles until I literally felt forced to do it thanks to a few incidents where I was shown that I have no other choice if I want to recover and change something.

Fact is: Sometimes we have to close certain doors in our life. Not out of spite, pettiness or oversensitivity but just because they don't lead anywhere anymore. Things in life change, people change, we all grow older and life moves on + eventually one day we may finally realize that it's for example not only our way of how we view certain things but perhaps maybe also some old (bad) habits or even our environment that keeps us away from improving and continuing.

It's an extremely hard process of mind and making this decision isn't anything but easy, but sometimes it's the best way to turn the page and start a new chapter. If you feel that some habits, maybe even hobbies / activities or other things don't bring you joy anymore, rather make you feel drained, empty or give you the feeling that they're all a waste of time, THIS is the right time to drop them and move on. Same with certain people..

Cutting ties with another person used to be one of my biggest fears because even if I knew that someone was either making me feel bad, used me or merely didn't give a damn about me, I always remained a loyal dog and kept on chasing them, simply out of fear of being "the a$$hole" + not wanting to get guilttripped or gaslighted. Fact here is: I ended up in so much unnecessary trouble thanks to those people and I didn't even realize that my mind + even environment were desperately telling me to finally kick those "Energy-sucking vampires" out of my life. I waited way too long with making a decision and the fact that some people simply are nothing but pieces of sh*t, so I should stop trying to change them and just let them rot instead of giving them regularly the opportunity to use me or literally cling to me like a leech, draining all of my energy.

Please know your worth! If you notice a person in your circle making you feel: Terrible every time you interact, doesn't respect your boundaries, only pays attention to you when they're in need, never gives a damn about your wellbeing, uses you as their "emotional toilet" or puppet but in return ignores you when you've hit the bottom of the barrel, trashtalks you + never shares your happiness when you're feeling well or having joy & in the worst case even guilttripps, trauma-dumps or gaslights you when you dare to tell them that you have a problem with their behavior —> DUMP THESE PEOPLE RIGHT AWAY!!! People like that are no "friends" at all and only disguise as those, in order to use you for their own, selfish and toxic needs. Nobody deserves to deal with something like that in their life, so as soon as you notice any red flags like that, don't give them any other opportunity to continue destroying you, so stay safe 🙏🏻

DON'T chase anybody if they make you feel like garbage or you're the one who's desperately trying to keep a "friendship" alive + don't force anybody to stay. If someone wants to walk out of your life, show them the door and even hold it open for them. Simply thank them for being part in your story and let them go.. Nobody's being forced to be your friend and same goes the other way around. I as well left many WhatsApp & Discord groups + had to cut ties with people who turned out to be only interested in me for giving them money, attention or when they could "use" me and as soon as they saw that they have no power over me anymore, they showed their true face by becoming angry, frustrated and even hostile because I showed them that I'm not alive to please THEM. Everybody is responsible for their own life and happiness and if people like that can't deal with it then it's their problem, not yours.

||

||

• Give new things a chance and especially time

Especially during heavy periods of depression, frustration or anger it's hard to remain motivated, particularly when you're trying to focus on new things. You become irritated or even mad quite quickly which can lead to the conclusion that you drop everything, give up and think "Why am I even trying? I suck and it's pointless anyway."

The problem here is that this way of negative thinking won't bring you far and causes more harm to yourself and your wellbeing + confidence than you think. I'm aware that reading this right now sounds incredibly easy while in reality it's not, but please give things time. Have you ever planted a tree and did it immediately burst out of the ground, fully grown with leaves after you watered it? It's the exact same story with trying new things out, returning to activities or hobbies that you may have dropped or with improvement and recovery in general. It's totally ok to be frustrated sometimes, impatient or even sad. But don't expect things to work out immediately after the first try and please don't give up right away if you may experience failure!

Also never forget to take breaks. Trying your best DOESN'T mean you have to push yourself to that degree that you end up breaking down, relapsing or whatever. Remember once again: You are human. It's ok to feel exhausted. It's ok to have days that are trash and it's no sign of failure or weakness if you need a break or cry. Everyone is improving, growing and learning at their own pace, which is perfectly fine. It doesn't matter if someone's path may be longer than somebody else's, don't compare yourself to others! This is YOU and YOUR LIFE. And as long as you keep on working on yourself and reach your goal + happiness in life, that's all that matters.

||

||

Life is already serious enough, so try to enjoy it as much as possible because it could be over anytime.. That's what I've learned.

If you may ask yourself now if I'm happy with my current life: No. DEFINITELY NOT.

I still have a long way to go and work on myself, despite already doing so since my early childhood and slowly walking towards my 30s, lol. But what I can say is that I've learned to view things from a different perspective and not being scared anymore to try myself out or to make certain decisions. I'm trying to focus on things that I used to love, even during relapses or trashy days + I also stopped viewing things COMPLETELY NEGATIVE. I cherish what I have because I'm well aware that there are always people who have it by far worse & even when I'm feeling screwed over by certain peeps or life in general, I'm not allowing this nonsense to mess with me for ages.

My boss once said "Just curse a little and carry the f*ck on."

I'll never forget his words because this is basically what helped me most of the time to remain sane, since I'm letting out some steam if I have to, yet I'm still having other and better things to do than complaining all the time or allowing this to ruin my day entirely.

Thanks ya'll for reading my essay and I wish every single one of you from the bottom of my heart to stay strong. Just because you're struggling right now, it doesn't mean it's going to last forever! You are valid, you are loved, you are trying and that's more than enough! ❤️

[absurdthirst]

Don't hate me but I have a weirdly specific request. I was thinking about how older men (40+) sometimes have low testosterone that lowers their sex drive and sometimes causes them to not be able to get it up (no shame in it!). So I was wondering how some of Pedro's characters would react to that, especially Oberyn since he's so into seggsy times. You don't have to answer this ask if you're not comfortable. And I apologize in advance for this. 🙈

Experiencing ED (Erectile Dysfunction):

Javier: You might think that Javier would be one of those macho guys that gets pissed when he can’t get it up, but you would be wrong. This dude is under stress and Jesus, some of the things he sees. If affects him. And there might just be times where that comes out in the bedroom. So when it does happen, he just sighs, gives you a kiss and tells you that it’s just not going to happen tonight before he lights up a cigarette. Poor dude just needs a drink and a smoke and about twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep. 

Ezra: Another hazard of wasting away on the green for far too long is that by the end of it, you are worn the fuck out. Physically, emotionally, spiritually just beat down. With his injury and subsequent depression, Ezra has definitely had moments were it doesn’t want to work and that just pisses him off. Expect a moody Ezra for a day when that happens. 

Mando: This man stays tired and beat up. Of course there are going to be times when he wants sex, he probably needs sex, but he couldn’t get it up if his life depended on it. This isn’t something that you are going to know about. Those times are just going to be the ones where he just wraps his arms around you and is snoring in 2.5 seconds. 

Catfish: He had plenty of moments where it’s happened. Whether it was from the fucking PTSD ringing his bell or the damn coke he used to shove up his nose, sometimes his dick just doesn’t want to cooperate with him. He makes up for it though. If he can’t get you off with his cock, he can and will use his fingers and tongue. Improvise, adapt, overcome. 

Agent Whiskey: The fuck are you talking about? This man will never not get hard. (Hides that prescription for viagra in his sock drawer)

Tovar: It’s common knowledge that as you get older your cock sometimes doesn’t work. He just scowls at his dick, cursing it for failing him and gets you off a different way. He’s got two hands and a mouth that can bring you pleasure. 

Max Phillips: Are you kidding? He’s a vampire. The day he can’t get it up is the day someone shoved a stake through his heart. 

Marcus Pike: A little embarrassed honestly. The first time it happened, he just kind of wanted to melt into the bed and disappear. Especially when you had your mouth wrapped around him and while he was mentally in the moment, he wasn’t physically there. He apologized about ten thousand times and then spent at least two hours making you cum on his tongue. 

Dave York: First time it happened he shook it off. After effects of a job that didn’t go according to plan. The second time pisses him off. He doesn’t like when you need something from him and he isn’t able to give it. So this is something that he just quietly goes and gets a prescription. Assures you that it has nothing to do with his attraction for you, just sometimes his brain won't shut off long enough for the other head to take over. 

Oberyn: As much as this man loves to receive pleasure, he is also a giver. He knows that despite his lusty heart, there are times that his body is unable to keep up. He’s no longer a young man. Sure there is that powder that he can mix in his wine to help get his cock hard. Or he can order some whores for your pleasure and watch you receive satisfaction tonight. 

Marcus Moreno: Won’t really recognize it as low testosterone until he’s with you. He had just assumed that his lack of sex drive was due to the lack of sex and being in mourning for his wife. So when he is with you and things start not working like they are supposed to, he’s trying to figure it out. Definitely goes and has a physical and is open and honest with you about what’s going on. 

Max Lord: This poor man has died of embarrassment. Straight up deceased. Definitely hits at that self esteem issue and you end up comforting him about it. Will only get over the fact that sometimes he just doesn’t want to have sex or can’t get an erection if you are patient and very gentle with him. 

Zach Wellison: Knows extremely well how that can happen. HIs sex drive was in the toilet when he was living on the streets. Of course he’s a little embarrassed when it happens because you are gorgeous and he should be hard as a rock. After a few times, he huffs, nuts up and calls the VA. Sometimes the shit they put them on can affect their sex drives too. 

MasterList

Permanent Tag List:

@sociallyantisocialbutterfly @thewaythisis @thisis-theway @hanelijoy @readsalot73 @xoxo-callie @cable-kenobi @roxypeanut @arrowswithwifi @badassbaker @javierpenaspinkshirt @wickedfrsgrl @lilangeldevil006 @fioccodineveautunnale @jade10077 @getinthepoolkeanu @kirstiehenderson29 @fleurdemiel145 @random066 @pascalisthepunkest @whataenginerd @tangledlove27 @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @gamingaquarius @jaime1110 @yamaktaria @perksofbeingivyy @earl-01 @gooddaykate @emesispo @deathlife97 @martellthemandalor @a-ghost-in-the-tardis @veil-of-time @dornish-queen @theocatkov @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @sheerfreesia007 @apples-of-february @talesfromtheguild @visintaes @whiskeyxinxaxteacup @immortalstarme @promiscuoussatan @takemepedropascal @katheriner1999 @nerdypinupcrystal @artemiseamoon @paintballkid711 @sirianisrock @engineeredfiction @frietiemeloen @mstgsmy @lilkermit14 @mrschiltoncat @thatgirlselectryc @lark-cale @hayley-the-comet @phoenixhalliwell @pedroepascal @501theory @max--phillips @thegreenkid @chicken-nugget-puta @corrupt-fvcker @im-just-here-for-cake @buckysbackpack @ohpedromypedro @moonlightburned @h-hxgirl @flightlessangelwings @f0rever15elf @kenedyybrooklin @mrsparknuts @meabravo @ilikechocolatemilkh @babybelou @melon-eyes @aeryntheofficial @the-wishmonger @onabouteverything @goblinqueen95 @awhiskeywithawinchester @thirstworldproblemss @no-droids-on-sunday @xxidontwikeitxx @jedi-mando @castiel-barnes @20skai @rach7 @wanderlustmags @barnes-dameron @neontonberry @artsymaddie @wigwitch @honeymandos @edencherries @popped-weasels @sesamepancakes @darthadeline @silverfish-kingdom @april-14-blog @josepedropascal @mrsbarnes-rogers @heyitmelexie @allthingsnarcos @bookshelvesandteacups @sweetsunflowerkisses @stardust-galaxies @mando-amando @blondekel77 @oneweirdfangirl @clydesducktape @justanotherblonde23 @rosiefridayrogersunday @asgardianvamp21 @just-a-scavenger99 @lv7867 @thewayofthemandalorian @mimimi-stuff @linkpk88 @adamdrivercouldchokeme @jitterbugs927 @pascalsky @pedro-pascal-love @saltybreaddream @lovelyasfcuk @dinfarrik @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @leaiorganas @over300books @wonderlandgabby @itstheanxietyforme @lucrezia-thoughts @sarahjkl82-blog @pascals-cat @cyaredindjarin @morrison-mercury @theorganasolo @kiwi-the-first @historianwithaheart @tonysdayoff @chibi-yuki @anewrule @sleep-tight1 @starrdvstkenobi @chattychell @ew-erin @pipsqueakkitten @purplepascal042 @cannedsoupsucks @oceanablue @stayherefor-evermore @iamburdened @antisocialshipper @bison-writes @captainjaspenor @doin-stuff @voteforpedropascal @kat-r-in @charmedthoughts @trippedmetaldetector @300mirrors @that-one-creepy-hoe @cyar-i-ka @poison-ivy-girl90 @iwasbusybeingdead @dragons-of-the-usa @two-unbeatable-beaters @carbonated-beverage @166869 @maythxthirstbxwithyou @lunaserenade @star-wars-hell @obiwanwhore @thisshipwillsail316 @barnes-and-bitch @supernaturalcat7 @selenium-drive @wardenparker @frankie-catfish-morales @notabotiswear @computeringturtle @the-ginger-hedge-witch @northernpunk  @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind @sarhabee @princessxkenobi @planetariumx @xuum-xuum @sleep-tight1 @mcueveryday @theamuz @greeneyedblondie44 @nyasiaaaaa @missstef23 @sherala007 @lamelyssher @winter-fox-queen @dihra-vesa @andruxx @griscka75 @pedrosmustache @spideysimpossiblegirl @acourtofsnakes @pedrostories

[leewritesstuff]

Lose You To Love Me |Tom Holland x Reader

Paring: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Losing someone hurts, but knowing that things get better, feels fine. You were dating Tom but feels as if you guys were slowly drifting away

Song: Lose You To Love Me

Masterlist

This is my first Tom Holland works, it's a little rusty since I haven't written something that isn't anime for a while.

You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it Set fires to my forest And you let it burn Sang off-key in my chorus 'Cause it wasn't yours

Having an on-and-off relationship was difficult. Especially when the relationship was a secret. You wanted to come out and be public but Tom didn't. The excuses were 'They will attack you' or 'I'm just not ready' but to see him posing for pictures with other models and celebrities made you feel as if you were a secret as if he was a shame.

Moving from the kitchen to sit in the living room couches, you played with his hair, feeling his soft curls between your fingers.

"Tom do you think we could go to that new cafe that opens up down the straight? I hear that they sell amazing cupca-" Without looking up from his phone, he replies with "I would love to but I don't want anyone spotting us" "Well that's fine if they do, don't you think it's time that they know?" "I just want us to keep some stuff to ourselves, ya know?" Letting out a sigh, you leaned your body off of his, grabbed the remote to turn on the tv.

I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose-colored glasses all distorted Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah

"Who the fuck is her huh?! Is that why you can't hang out? Or why you're always so late? You never have time to spend with me, heck you don't even say sorry for missing out on our planned dates!" "For fucking sake Y/N! Not everything is about you! I told you I was running late because I was at a party for work! You of all people are supposed to know that!" "I wouldn't be feeling this way if people weren't taking pictures of you and that model! Friends don't act that way! You don't see me acting that way with Harrison!"

"I swear it's like you're my fucking mother. I'm a grown-ass man, I can do whatever the hell I want! Stop bitching every fucking time!"

You looked at him in shock, still trying to register the words he used on you. Some fans have been speculating that you and Tom were dating but that was quickly debunked when a few pictures of Tom and another model were 'rumored' to be dating.

At first the rumors didn't bother you. It was for an upcoming movie, but after a while of countless photos of them together, it started to make you feel a type of way, jealously, insecure.

You didn't exactly notice that your relationship was falling apart, only feeling the distance. You nodded your head at him, "Alright"

He watched you, anger from the fight filling up his veins. He was tired of having the same fight with you every time a picture of him and a girl gets posted.

He walked over to you and grabbed your hands, holding them tightly, "Look, I'm not cheating okay? You know how the paps get when they see something like a good story. I love you, and only you okay? You just have to trust me"

You leaned into his touch, hugging him back. Still not feeling secure but decides to ignore it.

He never did say sorry to those planned dates.

We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

After the incident that happens two weeks ago, nothing was the same. The relationship started getting more toxic, one of you would be yelling at the other or mentally abusing eachotherTom started coming home late and was spending more time outside than with you. He wasn't even home for your anniversary, instead, he chose to go to a pub. You tried to get Harrison to speak to him, but he would always come back at you, yelling at you for dragging his friend into his.

So you decided to go to the pub he was in.

You called up your best friend and got yourself ready. You didn't expect the pub to be so filled, but then again clubbing was never really your thing. Music blazing, the smell of alcohol in the air. bodies rolling on each other. Your friend asks you if you were fine then heads straight to the dance floor.

You head to the bar and asked the bartender for a drink. After receiving your drink you sat on one of the stools and drink it, looking around to see if your boyfriend was around.

Finishing the drink and not seeing him, you were starting to feel bad for doubting him, getting ready to leave, you got up but when you do, you saw someone who looks like Tom grinding into a blonde girl.Confusion written on your face. You walk up closer to get a good look, surprised, shock, and anger running through your veins.

You watched as he grinds his hips into her, feeling her up with his hands. It made you sick. Disgusted. What made you feel even sicker was when he turned her around and held a full make-out session with her. Feeling the tears flow from your eyes, you left and tried to find your friend.

You explained to her what happen and even in her drunken state, she tried to comfort you, you both left and head home.

So much for being the only one.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

For days you felt like shit, for days you ignored his calls, for days you hated him.

You couldn't stand seeing his face, seeing how he was trying to pretend as if ntohing ever happened. It hurt you to know that he was playing his pretend role as if he was acting about how he feels about you. He tried calling but his calls were always ignored.

Tom felt as if you were slowly slipping away from him. He didn't know what he had done wrong. He thought everything was going well. He tried calling one more time, then gave up, deciding to give you your space.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me

Saying hello was always easy but saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do.Trying to shove all your clothes into the suitcase, shoving his hands off so your shoulder. You watch him, feeling no emotions, just blank. Empty. Nothing.

"I never thought, you of all people would cheat on me." "What do you mean? I never-" "Oh don't lie Thomas, I saw you, a few weeks ago when you were at the club. , If our relationship wasn't good why couldn't you have said anything? I spent days, weeks trying to get you to talk to me but no. I'm not even surprised, I mean they say actors lie about their true feelings, I guess I missed the warnings huh?"

Tom watched you in shock, not expecting you to call him out on that. He didn't plan for this to happen, it was supposed to be a one-time thing but the thrill and excitement he got made him feel something. He didn't mean to hurt you, but he did. And that was something that he could never take back.

"I'm sorry.." You let out a laugh, this whole situation was funny, "Now you're sorry, for what? For missing out on dates? Coming home late? Ignoring me? Oh wait is it because you got caught cheating on me with some bimbo right?"

"Don't call her that!"

"Ha, you even protect her... I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong"

And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah

Months passed, four to be exact and you have been doing better after moving out of Tom's you were able to afford an apartment for yourself which you then rented out half to your friend. You got promoted from your job and now you're working for more money.

Standing in line, to order your favorite cup of drink, someone bounced into you, knocking their drink on you.

"Watch it you asshole!" "Y/N?"

You look up and notice Tom standing in front of you, holding two cups of coffee.

"Hey, how have you been?" "I've been good, have a few acting roles coming up for a new movie. How about you? I remember you were working for a fashion store"

"I became manager, the pay is nice. If I keep it up they might move me to another firm that pays higher"

He nodded his head at you, feeling a bit proud of you," Well I'm in town for a bit, I won't be leaving until next month"

"Nice" Que the awkwardness

"Hey look, I'm sorry for how things turned out, I didn't mean for it to happen. I was kind of hoping that we could probably talk like we used to, or go to dinner or-"

"Look, Tom, no hard feelings but I'm over that. I have a life now, you started this and you can't make me forget all the pain that you caused me. I'm over that, I'm done crying and you should too."

He nodded his head, trying to hide the disappointment he's feeling, he tried to put on a smile to play it off but you know better, "Well I hope to see you again"

Grabbing your cup of coffee from the cashier, you paid her and face time. You said something which made his smile dropped as he watched you walk out.

"And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us"

[bullyhunter--69]

"She's so sweet, really."

Pairing: Izuku x fem!reader

Summary: When you and Izuku started dating, you were as happy as could be. He was beyond sweet and caring, and helped you forget about the bad in your life. But after he introduces you to his mother, Inko, and you start to be a more frequent visitor at the Midoriya household, you realize it's starting to take a bigger affect on you than you thought it would. Why can't your mother be like that?

Tw: mentions of family issues/absent family/family death, bottling up emotions and eventually breaking, a stressed Izuku, ends with soft fluff

A/N: This turned out so much longer and more angsty than planned but I'm really proud of it, tell me what you guys think! 🖤 (This is also my first ever angst written so--)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Today was a beautiful fall day. Colorful leaves fell around you, the sky was tinged with a deep orange, and the soft grass beneath you made your time all the more comfy. You were snuggled next to Izuku beneath a huge tree on campus, who was currently going on and on about his latest quirk findings. The goal you guys originally had set was to review for the upcoming test, but the topic quickly shifted to Izukus day once your fingers intertwined with his and you inquired about it.

"-and so then once I asked Mr. Aizawa about it I found that- Hey.. are you okay (Y/N)?" You really were listening, but had found that you zoned out. Izukus concerned, soft voice brought you back to reality, and a small smile crawled it's way onto your features. "Yeah 'zuku, I'm all good.. I just was thinking about some stuff and was focusing on your voice. It always helps." You ended your reply with a squeeze of his hand, which all together resulted in his face blooming into a shade of deep red.

"Well, uh.. T-thank you, I'm happy to help!" He stuttered out as he felt butterflies all throughout his body. "Oh, also!" Izuku started, turning his body to face you more, holding your hands in his lap with a nervous look in his eyes. "(Y/N), I was wondering.. we've been together for a bit now and I.. I want my mom to meet you."

As soon as the word 'mom' reached your ears, you tensed up. It was always a sensitive topic, even if it wasn't your parental relationships in question. You knew Izuku had noticed, as the hold on your hands got tighter. "I understand if you're scared or nervous but I know She's gonna love you! She already says you're really pretty and smart just basing off what I've shown her.. she really is looking forward to it, and we don't have to stay long if you don't want to." The gentle rub of his thumb on the back of your hand and the puppy dog eyes was enough to soothe your nerves. If Izuku talked so highly of you to her, and if she was anything like him at all, you figured it wouldn't be that bad to meet her. She would be your mother-in-law someday, so you might as well get it out of the way now and not later.

When the day finally came, you were beyond nervous. The thought of meeting Izuku's mother and her not liking you made a wave of sickness and dread fill every inch of your body. Whether it was a friend, or a boyfriend, meeting mothers always gave you a bad taste in your mouth. It brought back all the feelings that you tried desperately to hide away and fight daily.

See, you were almost fully open with Izuku, but there was one thing he didn't know. Your family, to put it bluntly, was shit. Your mother always belittled you for every single little action you ever made and everything about you. Nothing was ever good enough. As a small child, it was always under-the-table, backhanded compliments with passive aggressive undertones, but after the passing of your father, it turned into raw, brutal words. She was never proud, and never actually loved you, she just used your desire to be a good daughter against you. It was cold, hard, manipulative behavior which resulted in you finally refusing to talk to her after you got accepted into U.A. The mental gymnastics you had to go through to hide all of this, especially from Izuku, was taking a toll on you. You never talked of family and never left the dorms, and had an.. unusual amount of luggage stored away in your room. It seemed like you packed your entire life up in a suitcase and ran.

Which is essentially what you did.

As bad as it sounds, you never planned on telling your love any of this. You just needed to forget all of the childhood trauma you were put through and focus on showing your mother she was wrong. Everything she said about your quirk being useless, to you being intolerable and a bad daughter, would be proved wrong. But, the biggest thing you planned to show her? Is that your father would be proud. She always used him against you, and you'd be damned if you wouldn't prove that point the most ridiculous of them all.

A soft knocking on your dorm brought you out of your deep thoughts, and your gaze slid to the door. Your hands shot to your face and you quickly dried your tears. "O-one second, I'm still changing!" You knew in the pit of your gut that it was Izuku coming to pick you up, and your thoughts were confirmed when you heard him on the other side of your locked door. "Alrighty baby, take your time!" God, he sounded so sweet.. this was hell keeping from him, but it kept him from worrying.

The night went on so much better than expected, and it genuinely surprised you. You had never met a woman as sweet as Inko was. She cooked your favorite food and had your favorite drinks, and even baked you your favorite dessert. She asked about how you were doing in school and once the topic of your quirk was brought up, she was beyond ecstatic to hear you talk about it. She even added on how she felt it would be useful in battle. The night was amazing. Nothing felt real, it all was like the fantasies you made up while lying in bed at 4am sobbing, so sleep deprived you almost can't move to get ready for your class that starts in just a few hours. It's what you've always wanted in a mom-- a beautiful, sweet woman who cares.

Why can't your mother be like that?

As the weeks went on and Izuku kept inviting you over for weekly dinner and game nights with him and Inko, you found it harder and harder to conceal exactly how much your mental health was struggling. Yes, you absolutely adored both your loving boyfriend and his equally loving mother, but it was just so fucking.. hard. Every smile she gave you, the loving, motherly twinkle in her eyes when she talked to Izuku, the amazing dinners, the endless support for both of you, the pictures she insisted on taking of you and Izuku-- it was all too much. You started to dwell on this every single night, and resent yourself for how much anger and jealousy you felt. This wasn't right, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault that your mother hated you for every fiber of your being and Izuku had the best mother imaginable. He was your boyfriend, you should be happy.. right?

You didn't realize how hard you had been sobbing until there was a hushed yet firm knock on your dorm door. The tears that blurred your vision made it even harder to read the clock on your nightstand through the pitch black room you sat in, huddle up in a pile of blankets, All Might plushies and Izuku's hoodies.

9:54 p.m.

The pain that was radiating through your torso from the wreck you had become from however long you had actually been crying was torture. It felt like needles were being shoved into your lungs and your heart was being squeezed in a vice grip. Breathing felt impossible. Your throat was raw. But the thing that hurt the absolute worst, out of everything?

"(Y/N)? Baby, please let me in.." Little Izuku's voice sounded like the biggest bomb going off, the jiggle of your door knob making emergency alarms go off in your head. There wasn't any possible way to get out of this, and this might just be your biggest fear. Facing those soft emerald eyes and that sweet smile that has been open and honest with you over the entirety of your entire relationship, and even before. Telling the love of your life all the trauma you've endured, and then willingly decided to hide from him. No.. it's the disappointment that you're positive will shine through his features that's truly your biggest fear.

You don't know how long he had been listening, but one second was more than enough for you to know Izuku wasn't going to leave. He loved you endlessly and never left without making sure you had a smile on your face. So, with limbs that felt like cement, eyes that felt as if you were crying spikes, and an aching heart, you got up and made your way to unlock the door. It took a minute-- your hold on the cold knob firm and extremely hesitant.

3... 2.. 1.

Finally, Izuku had enough room to gently push your door open, and his breath was taken away when he saw you as the golden light from the dormitory hallway illuminated your entirely wrecked appearance.

Bloodshot eyes, make up filled tears streaming down both checks, snot dripping down to you mouth. The cuffs of his hoodie that covered your shaking body were soaked in black, wet mascara. Your hair was messy and tangled. You were.. broken.

After taking in every little detail of your appearance, a struggled gasp last your body when his arms were suddenly around you. The touch of his warmth around you was electrifying, and instantly brought you to your knees. As Izuku shut and locked the door behind him, still holding you in his strong arms, he sighed softly. "What's wrong?"

These are some of the only words that you really didn't want to come out of his mouth. They stung and tore through your heart like the sharpest of blades. They made you regret not opening up sooner, his tone overflowing with worry, fear, and dread. You knew not to make eye contact, but you couldn't even if you wanted to. Once those words entered your ears, soft and delicate as if you would shatter into a million pieces if he spoke too hard, another strangled sob was unleashed out of what felt to be your core.

"S-she's just so sweet.." Your voice, although strained and crackling, came out with an emotion Izuku had never heard from you before. A mixture of jealousy, rage, disappointment, and disgust is all he could pick out, but it sounded like something was hidden beneath it all. Something that you didn't know how to express, so emotions just came seeping out of you in the easiest way.

Picking you up was an easy task, as your body had long ago given up the fight to stay standing. The sweet boy made his way to your bed and sat with you cradled to his chest, your nose tucking away in the crook of his neck instantly to breath in his scent. It calmed you-- he calmed you, but you couldn't help but to shamefully pull your head away and look across the room.

"(Y/N), you have to tell me more. Who is 'she'? I want to help you.." His voice still held a delicate tone, his fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other still holding you tightly. After what seemed like forever of Izuku just holding you and letting you cry every single ounce of emotion you held in your body out, your sobs slowly came to a stop and you took a soft, shaking sigh.

It was time to come clean.

"'Z-zuku, I'm sorry.." You started, slowly and steadily while trying to steady your breath further. The gentle back rubs from his warm hands helped sooth you, and gave you the strength to continue.

"I haven't been exactly.. truthful with you." As you took a second to find your words and sniffle, you could sense Izuku tilt his head to the side curiously. "You always ask if I'm okay-- if I'm happy-- and I always say that I am. I love you so incredibly much and you do make me feel happy and safe and welcomed and-" Your ramble was cut off with a kiss to your temple, which was a silent signal of Izukus trust and time.

"Because of how incredibly happy you make me, I dont want you thinking that this is your fault at all. Its mine.. I shut you out and bottled myself up when I should have just told you in the first place. I just.. don't know how to say it other than to say it outright."

Your shakey tone made Izukus heart race even more. He was staying calm and supportive on the outside but on the inside, he was a wreck. He was currently going over every single one of his actions, words, and notes that made what you and him were-- absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything and everything he could have done wrong. That stuff, though, was shoved deep so he could help you, because that was what was important right now.

"I don't.. Izuku, I love you and I love your mother so incredibly much. I feel at home with you guys but it's just so hard. Seeing how sweet and caring she is, how She's invested in both of our lives, how she.. s-she said she loved me.." You body was quickly starting to shake again, so Izuku pulled you in closer. "Why can't my mother be like that?"

There it was. It finally clicked in Izuku's mind. Everytime you avoided the topic of family, how you never had pictures with them, how you never had a place to go to during break, how every day after spending time with him and Inko you seemed drained the next morning as if you had stayed up all night.. it clicked as to what might be wrong, and his suspicions were confirmed when you continued.

"M-my mother hates me and she has my entire life. I have never received an ounce of love or respect from that filthy woman and it's always on my mind. Her degradation and her mocking laugh and her hideous presence. She used my dead fucking dad against me to make me feel like I'd never make it in this world and I just-- I-I want to escape the horrible memories but I can't. I just want a mother like yours.. it's what I've always wanted and I don't understand why I had to be the one stuck with a dead dad and a mockery of a mother. Seeing how absolutely amazing your mom is fills me with love and happiness and a sense of home I've never gotten before but at the end of the day, it just reminds me of how shitty my life was up until I got to U.A. I don't have a mom. I don't have a home. And its not fair that I'm upset over the fact that you having those things happens to remind me of that. I'm sorry."

Izuku was speechless. His comforting ministrations had stopped and he just looked at you. Even with the pitch black void that was your room, his emerald eyes shined bright.. and brimmed with tears.

"I.. I had no idea, baby, I'm so sorry.." Izuku was choosing his words incredibly carefully. He held nothing against you, nor was he upset or disappointed at you. He was a person that could put himself in someone else's shoes very easily and see through their eyes, and your emotional monologue was enough to paint your story for him. He just wanted to comfort you and show you everything was okay.

"I don't want you to be sorry, there isn't any need for you to be. You can't help what your mother put you through, and how horribly unfair to you that it was. Nobody can control how others actions affect them-- it's just how humans are.." Strong arms turned your body to face him, your limbs wrapped around his torso and your cheeks gently held in his hands. As tears streamed down his cheeks, he stared deep into your eyes. "You're so strong and beautiful, and I understand as much as I can. I love you so much.. Baby, to hell with her. I know it's hard, but she doesn't have to mean anything to you anymore. Me and you, and mom, can be our own family. We're your home now.."

A sob managed to choke it's way out of your throat, but this one was different. Your head fell into Izukus neck and you held him as tight as you possibly could, soaking his chest with more snot and tears. His arms held you back just as tightly as he peppered soft butterfly kisses along your hairline. This is how you stayed for the rest of the night until you calmed down and passed out on his firm build. Laying back softly, Izuku tucked you both in and kept his tight hold on you.

"Goodnight, love.. You're home."

[liannelara-dracula]

Can I request hcs of Eren (from snk) and Uta (from tokyo ghoul) comforting their s/o (gender neutral pls) who has a mental breakdown and starts crying bc they're really stressed? Thank you so much, if you don't feel comfortable with this, ignore it <33333

Hi love,

Of course, you're welcome I'd be more than happy to do this.

-Jade

requests are open

----------

Eren:

Let's be honest, Eren does have a hard time noticing if you're stressed out, especially if you hide it very well.

He'll go a while without noticing until minor things start happening.

Such as your attitude slightly changing towards things.

Maybe you end up staying up too late too for too many nights to study, which leads you to stay inside since you want to catch up on your sleep; or just don't want to see anyone because you're not feeling like it.

It could even lead to you canceling too many dates with him due to other events, or just not returning his texts or calls as fast as you used to.

This is when he would definitely notice something is off.

He would try to ask you what was wrong, but since you didn't want to worry him, you'd just tell him everything was fine.

Since he doesn't want to push you, I feel like he wouldn't insist on the subject, at least not at first.

However, if he sees that this behavior persists, or it just gets worse, then he's going to intervene until he figures it out.

It's only because he cares tho and wants you to be happy.

"Y/n, is everything okay?" He'd turn to you well sitting on you're bed as you were fixing some things in your room.

"Yeah, I'm just busy." You'd say dryly still focused on other things rather than paying attention to your boyfriend.

"Babe, you haven't even been answering my texts and barely pick up the phone. What's going on?" Seeing you weren't even looking at him he came up behind you and gave you a back hug while resting his head on your shoulder.

"Nothing." You'd mumble not being relaxed in his hug either way.

"Y/n, it can't be nothing. Every time I come over you barely say a word. What is up with you?"

"Nothing is wrong. I've just been tired these days." You'd sigh still not looking at him or anything.

He'd pull out from his hug whilst getting you to look at him now.

"See, there you go again pushing you away."

"Because I don't want you to get involved."

"I'm trying to help you!"

"Why do you care? Why do I matter so much to you?!"

"Because I love you!"

"I don't want to talk about this with you."

"Y/n, you know you can tell me anything. Whatever's bothering you we can talk about it, baby." He'd approach you, his hands cupping your face so you couldn't look away.

You honestly couldn't deal with the pressure you felt in that moment. There were so many things running through your head and it was overwhelming to you. It was overwhelming to look at him and lie to him.

You didn't want to do that to him but you also didn't want to be emotional over some stress and problems you're dealing with.

"I just--I feel so stressed . . . and I--I don't know what to do. And I-I c-can't--"

But your feelings got the best of you and you felt your vision becoming blurry by the tears you wanted to hold back. Seeing your distraught state Eren embraced you into a hug.

"Shhhh, Y/n, it's okay." He'd say stroking your hair.

He hated seeing you this way and he wouldn't imagine you'd cry.

So it did shock him but it mostly made him sad because he wouldn't want you to be hurt.

You sobbed into his chest feeling a little less stressed by his words.

"Hey, don't cry. It's going to be fine, just tell me everything."

When you tell him what's bothering you he keeps an eye on you.

And he checks up on you a lot, whether it's by being there in person or just by calling you or something.

So he's pretty on top of it, especially if you're the type to not depend on him.

Like he won't make you annoyed but he will try to talk to you about it and make you open up about it to him.

And he will scold you/get mad if you keep getting yourself hurt.

So you witness his protective side.

But overall he'd be very sweet and would do anything to make you smile and be happy.

Uta:

He may come off as carefree and not all there, but he's more perceptive than he comes off as.

He's always taken note of not just the big things, but of the minor things about you as well.

Like he knows even the smallest of details about you.

In other words, he knows when something is off.

But, he won't exactly confront you about it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

Cause he believes you won't talk to him about it and that you'll ignore him.

He figures if something is bothering you, and is making you in fact uncomfortable, he wouldn't want to bring up or provoke a subject like that.

Instead of talking to you about it, he tries to cheer you up by taking you places, getting you gifts, or just talking about things to make you laugh so your mind doesn't drift off into the negative.

However, if he does see that this behavior continues, this is when he knows he's going to have to talk to you about it.

"Y/n you've been quiet these days." He'd imply sketching something in his sketchbook.

"I'm just busy that's all." You'd reply looking at your phone and not looking up at him.

"Right, so that's exactly the reason why you're avoiding me?" He'd snap after the attitude you gave him.

You'd scoff at this crossing your arms, "Uta, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just busy with school."

"Y/n." He'd stop moving his pencil and look at you as you met eyes with him now.

"What?"

"You haven't been eating." He'd mention.

"I--how do you know about that?" You'd stammer not wanting to get caught.

"Word from a friend, now what's wrong with you?"

You'd avert your eyes and begin to get up to walk away from his so you wouldn't have to talk to him.

"Nothing."

He'd get up from his seat and pull you back by the wrist. "Don't walk away Y/n. Running from your problems won't solve this."

"Really, and you expect me to depend on you?" You'd sass.

"I'm trying to help you."

His words made you startled and you just couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the feeling.

"No . . . I don't need help--I d-don't want h-help." You'd stammer as a few tears run down your cheeks.

He'd sigh, "Pushing me away isn't going to help you either . . . just tell me what's wrong and I can fix."

"Sometimes y-you can't f-fix everything . . . you c-can't fix what happened to me." You'd shake your head wiping the tears which blurred your vision.

"If you tell me maybe I can."

"No, no--"

"Y/n."

"I c-can't. I can't burden you with my problems." You'd say, running your fingers through your hair, tears falling down your cheeks.

Turning your back to him you'd wipe your tears as you continued to cry.

He'd approach you, his hand intertwining with yours, "Whatever it is, tell me."

You'd turn to him shaking your head not bothering to give him an answer.

He'd give you a worried look before saying, "Y/n, you are the most important thing in my life and I can't stand it when you look at me like that . . . so please tell me what's going on."

Once you finally tell him he comforts you by bringing you in a hug and telling you everything will be okay.

He'd keep an eye on you and wouldn't leave your side.

And like I said he's pretty perceptive when it comes to this cause he's come to understand what kind of person you're like.

He's not one for a lot of affection and all but he will show that he cares.