#I hate this but I put 2 much effort so it goes here now

[bornsexyesterday]

okay silly oc ref

[kimsmuse]

yandere childhood friend ♡ !!

gender neutral!reader. 1.7k words. warnings for irrational obsession for the reader. i'm not sure what it is but the guy is very, very delusional. i'm not sure what to think of this piece, but this one goes out for 🤏🍷anon, i loved the yandere drummer you drew so much so i hope you like this :) !!

“here,” you bring the flower to his face but he’s still annoyed. lately, he’s annoyed by almost everything, was teenage so bad? you wouldn’t know yet. your best friend is almost 2 years older than you and only holds the position because you've been practically be forced to get along with each other, courtesy of your family being great friends.

he scrunches up his face. “i'm allergic, you should know that.” he responds, not even looking up from his homework. “make me a paper bouquet, then we’ll see.”

the first time you realized that you liked your bestfriend was the first time that he realized that romance was not his cup of tea and with you? no way in hell. he hated the idea of cheesy romcoms and pop songs, it disgusted him and he made a point of making it obvious.

but you were young, just about 12 or something, and he was the only one close enough to fantasise about, so you did - doodled hearts around his initials and yours, “2gether 4ever ♡” and made it so obvious to the adults around you that they often teased you about it, much to your friend’s dismay.

and the crush was so strong that the moment you went home, you were on youtube, looking for ways to make a paper flower, and then piecing it all together.

“bed time, now,” your mother calls out and you proudly show off your paper bouquet to her, “is that for him?” she asks, amused at your efforts to be seen by your crush. you nod.

“aw, baby, as much as i love his mother as my bestfriend, that kid doesn’t deserve you,” she kisses your forehead.

yes, there were times when it felt like your heart was breaking into pieces or however those songs called it, when you saw him around school hanging out with other girls and not even acknowledging your presence. but when you went home and he excitedly told you about the new game he was playing, you fell all over again. besides, this is what happened in the music videos, right? there will be a day when he sees you like that too, when he’ll be long over this phase of shouting “ew, ew, ew,” when his parents kiss and be a more mature guy.

you did think that. but it was always in such a future tense that it never seemed realistic enough, it seemed far, far away. and when you actually reached that time period, your family had to move away, dad got a job somewhere else.

so you left that paper bouquet, (which quite frankly you didn’t have the courage to give it to him in fear that he might mock you that he told you to make it for him and you did? what a fool…) and a letter detailing your feelings for him.

but obviously it didn’t hold much depth, as you can imagine, a preteen detailing their infatuation.

but long after you were gone, your friend started to do something which he never thought he would do, ever. he was missing you.

he missed you when he came home from school and there was no one to talk to, or no one to taunt about how much he hated a particular thing and not have you judge him. it was just so awesome on how you had never judged him for anything, because he was sure if he kept on repeating on how much he hated taylor swift to some other girl in his grade, she'd probably have flipped him off, even if she, herself hated her. that was the level of repetitive he could get.

but he missed you, making those random cakes with your mother and you ran down to him to make him taste it first and he acted disgusted. “this is the worst, did you put in salt instead of sugar?” and you still had a smile on your face when you answered. “no, i just tasted it.”

he fiddled with the paper bouquet you left him for a long while after that, thinking about that afternoon and many others like that again and again. he could just… call you but his ego wouldn’t let him. and he was so disappointed over the fact that you were talking to his mother almost every other day, but you never asked for him?

it was hurtful.

but he couldn’t just ignore it. even when it was the only thing he wanted to do, ignore you, keep you out of his mind. but even when in high school he began going on dates and dances, he kept coming back to the paper flowers you left him.

he didn’t have any allergies. he was just messing with you. he never knew you'd actually do it. just like he never thought you'd actually leave, or that he'd ever miss you like this.

when he was out of the local college, he was sure that he was going to come to you, he knew the city where you lived through his parents' daily conversation at the dinner table. you were still in college, about an year or two remaining and he looked for jobs in your area.

when he found one, he was absolutely relieved. he told his parents it was one of the best opportunities in his career and it was, just not in his career, but it helped that the city you were in was quite famous and the job wasn’t bad either.

so when he finally takes your number from his mother and calls you.

he’s so delighted to hear your voice, even though it has changed a lot. and you’re happy too! you sound really happy when you say that you're excited to meet him.

and oh, you’re right, he never considered your angle on it, you must have missed him so much! oh, poor thing, the move must have been so harsh to you. maybe the reason you didn’t ask his mom to give him the call was because it'd simply hurt too much to talk to him without being near him. right? this had to be the only explanation.

so when he moves in and settles into his apwrtment, he calls you in the morning, and you give him a recommendation for a cafè nearby, “it’s a good one, i think you'll like it,”

see! you know him so well!

he arrives there a few minutes late, but you’re already there. oh, you still love him so well.

but midway through drinking overexpensive coffees and reminiscing the old times, he chokes on his drink.

he honestly thinks you’re kidding.

“what?” he wants you to repeat it again.

“i said, i’m not in love with you, my friend, i’ve moved on,”

the friend stings more than applying sanitizer on a cut, he swears. but it was just unbelievable, you were just running after him (not quite literally, pardon him, he’s a little delusional) begging for him (again, he’s delusional) to make him go on a date with you, with the last part being true. you did want him to go on a date with you, but you respected his decisions.

yes, you did have the worst and incredibly humiliating crush on your childhood friend, but it was just all that was in your opinion, a crush that started when you were 12 because he was the only one you hung out with and spent all your time with and so you were convinced, from ages 12 to 16 almost that this was the guy you’d marry and start a family with, you’d already picked out the names for them. but the problem was? he didn’t like you back.

your childhood friend had better things to do, like all teenage guys do, ofcourse, but he was always stuck with the feeling that he didn’t want you, he physically cringed when at joint dinner sometimes both of your parents would joke about you both dating, it was just something that was unimaginable for him at that point. only at that point though.

he was too busy going out on dates with random people, unbeknownst to how much he was hurting you (because in his defense, he was just a kid and he wasn’t quite sure how deep your feelings ran).

but now? why not now?

he had finally realized that it was you he liked, genuinely. And now you say this? It was absolutely heartless, did you not even stop to consider his feelings, even for once? Did the fact that you loved him before mean nothing to you?

“why don’t you love me anymore? or are you lying? to avenge your hopeless pining and me turning you away, is that it? please, talk to me. please.”

“it was a childhood crush, they eventually go away,” you don’t know what more he wants to say to you.

“but i… but you,”

“there are no but's here, if you came here looking for me because you’re realizing your feelings almost 8-9 years later then it's absurd because did you really think i would wait for you that long? i have a life now, i have a boyfriend and.. just grow up, you have a job here you should focus on that.”

you mentally made a note to stay the fuck away from this guy, because he was spewing some crazy, crazy shit. never in your wildest dreams did you ever think he would come back and be insistent on his feelings, it was all like a fever dream.

“am i that bad..?” he whispers softly, you look up at him, he has both of his hands on the table and his head hanging down. great, he's crying now. “i'm sorry i was so rude to you before.”

“look, it's fine, okay? we were both kids and i don't even hold it against you, i didn’t back then and i still don't. so go live your life and move on,”

you didn’t think you could bear to stay sitting there for a minute more, so you got up and went to the counter to pay and without a second glance, you left the cafè.

all the while, your childhood friend is still sitting there, not looking up.

“i.. i can’t do that,” and he looks up and wipes his tears, he didn’t come all the way here just to get disheartened so easily, did he?

[xxsabitoxx]

〈 loosen up 〉

Sanemi x Reader x Giyu

Note: I can’t stop thinking about this really specific idea.

Additional note: it’s literally been 2 months since I touched this draft & idk where past me was taking it… but the show must go on so here it is.

▼△▼△▼△▼△ ▼△▼△▼△▼△ ▼△▼△▼△▼△▼

In an effort to smooth things over between the two men, Tengen suggested that everyone goes out clubbing. You thought it was kind of ridiculous considering neither Sanemi nor Giyu would ever step foot in such a place. That was… until Shinobu presented it as a challenge, leaving no room for the two men to deny unless they wanted to be known as cowards.

That’s how you ended up here, in the middle of a crowded dance floor, stuck between both men.

The night had started off innocently enough, everyone was dressed accordingly and ready to forget the week’s tension. By the third round of drinks, you’d already lost Mitsuri and Obanai somewhere in the club. Tengen and his wives were off on the dance floor and Shinobu was having some sort of conversation with Kyojuro and Gyomei.

This left you alone with the two feuding men, sending glares to each other over the tops of their liquor. ”you know… it must be fucking exhausting putting this much effort into hating each other.” neither man spoke, instead they everted their gaze to anywhere that wasn’t each other. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was sexual tension.” You forced a sip of your drink in order not to laugh.

Both men turned to look at you again with break neck speeds, as if you had just uttered the most asinine statement they had ever heard. Honestly, you may have. “Why the fuck would you say something like that?” Sanemi’s voice was a harsh whisper, yet you were still able to hear him perfectly over the pounding music. “Because you two have so much tension it’s almost unbearable to be around the both of you. I think fucking each other would be more effective than fighting.”

You couldn’t lie, the drinks were making you feel some type of way. But of course you couldn’t let either of them know that. You had caught their attention in the worst way possible, Giyu’s mouth hung open slightly as his eyes shifted between you and Sanemi. “What makes you think i’d ever even kiss him.” You freeze, eyes locking with Sanemi before flicking over to Giyu who’s mouth now hung wide open.

“That’s fucking rude.” Giyu barked back, brows furrowing in genuine offense. Maybe you weren’t the only one feeling a certain way because of the drinks. “I’m un-kissable?” He added after Sanemi didn’t budge. You were waiting for some sort of smart ass remark to follow, instead it was a genuine question. Sanemi’s head tilted, smirking a bit as he spoke. “Well… i imagine you have no skills in that area whatsoever.”

“Are you implying he’s a virgin?” Of course, the drink returned to your lips in effort not to laugh. This time, Sanemi burst out laughing, completely missing the way Giyu’s face was turning red. “I’m not a fucking virgin.” Giyu’s words didn’t really help Sanemi’s laughing, the scar covered man nearly doubled over in his seat.

"When is the last time you fucked someone? huh, Shinazugawa? Tell me how long it's been." You couldn't lie, you'd never seen Giyu that mad. Your eyes shot over to Sanemi, watching the man stop laughing as he slowly straightened. "Last month actually." There was an air of confidence in his posture as Sanemi leaned back, reaching for his drink and bringing it to his lips.

"Last month." you echoed, trying to figure out who the person could have been. It must have been a one night stand because Shinazugawa wasn't actively pursuing anyone as far as you remembered... unless. "Don't tell me it was Kocho's sister!" You had already forgotten about why this conversation had started in the first place. Giyu on the other hand only seemed to be getting more worked up with each passing second he was ignored.

“No it wasn’t Kanae! I’d never!” He was turning red anyways. A scoff caught your attention again, head turning to see Giyu getting up from the table. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” You we’re starting to get up as well, not willing to let Giyu leave just as things were getting interesting. “I’m leaving.” Deadpanned, as always. “No the fuck you aren’t, we aren’t done here.” Sanemi was throwing the rest of his drink back as he stood.

Once again, both men were locked in a staring competition. "We aren’t done here? What are you? My fucking dad?” You held in a laugh, eagerly anticipating Sanemi’s response. “What the fuck does that even mean? I’m calling you a fucking pussy for running away from this conversation.” Your eyebrow raised, eyes darting between the two men as you feared the conversation would turn into a brawl rather than the threesome you were secretly hoping for.

“I’m a pussy? What are you, twelve? What kind of insult is that?” You watched a scowl quirk at the corners of Sanemi’s lips. “What is with your stupid ass questions about who I am? Figure yourself the fuck out cause you’re pissing me off.” They were getting closer, so close their chests were nearly touching. “I think the offer to fuck still stands.” You seemed to pull them from their daze. “Better yet! How about we dance, Hmm?”

“Dance?” Sanemi was looking at you as if you sprouted mushrooms from your head. “We’re in a club, we’ll get kicked out if you two start fighting so why don’t we just get… all this pent up energy out on the dance floor instead?” To your shock, Giyu was grabbing your arm and leading you away from Sanemi. That’s where you were now… your back pressed to Sanemi while your front was pressed to Giyu.

“Still angry?” You nearly purred, one hand pressed firmly to Giyu’s chest while your hips swayed with Sanemi’s. “Shush.” Giyu was struggling to maintain eye contact, even in the dark dance floor with only colorful LEDs and lasers to see his face. You couldn’t deny that you liked the feeling of Sanemi’s hands on your waist, his hips swaying with yours as he held you tightly to him. If you weren’t mistaken, you were beginning to feel something a bit…

“Are you really getting off to this, Shinazugawa?” Giyu taunted over the top of your head, smirking as he pulled you just a bit closer to him. “Sure fucking am? Why wouldn’t I?” The man behind you held no shame, even as your face began burning up he continued to gloat. “You’d probably have come by now if our roles were reversed. Y/n needs a man who can last more than thirty seconds… Tomioka.” You groaned, it seems their bickering would never end.

“Is that a fucking challenge?” Giyu’s hands were lowering to where Sanemi held your waist, eyebrow cocking upwards in defiance. “What? To see who can last longer? By all fucking means… so long as you’re okay with it?” Sanemi’s voice was in your ear now, earning a desperate shiver in response. “Oh… why not… just not here… I’d rather it be in someone’s bed.”

[fordtato]

Gffan has done the following:

-Letting people comment transphobic stuff on his Server

-associating with a reddit mod whos known to be transphobic

-openly showing weird distaste for the Dipper being Trans headcanon (didn't he also say: "I hate the Dipper Trans Theory" to us once?)

He also believes there’s only 2 genders

Hello. So. I do not normally respond to anonymous discourse like this in my inbox as a rule (especially given this site's proclivity for seeing anon callouts weaponized against trans people and women and people of color), but I felt it was important to do this in this case, since I am publicly working on a project with ThatGFFan.

I have known GFFan for over a year now now (in an exclusively online capacity), and in that time, he has not only never misgendered me (a nonbinary trans person, someone outside the "2 genders" framework) but has also actively corrected people who have misgendered me. I have witnessed him speak against transphobia in the fandom and against transphobic content creators. The idea that he "believes there are only 2 genders" is inaccurate by every account I have of him.

As for other accusations in this ask, such as him "associating with a reddit mod who is known to be transphobic" I don't have any evidence for this presented to me, and even if I did, association in a public online space is not the same thing as sharing transphobic sentiment. There is room in any online space for a conversation about the optics of this kind of engagement, but if I had to apologize for every person I've ever engaged with civilly who I later learned was problematic in some way, I'd be here all day, and that would be an unproductive use of my time, and would not undo any harm done by that person.

Lastly, I hope ThatGFFan will not mind me saying this, but he is a young person (younger than you think, I assure you). If he has engaged with unsavory people in the past, or has indicated any kind of transphobic sentiment (neither of which I have any evidence of) it is my belief that we need to allow people to grow, especially when I have actively witnessed that growth firsthand. And in that case, I do think (and maybe I'm putting my faith in the wrong person here, so I hope this doesn't bite me one day), that he has made an active effort to learn how to do better, even if he makes mistakes in that process.

What you have done, anon, is entered my inbox with accusations against a person of color, half of which have no evidence behind them, and the other half that I personally know to be demonstrably false. Nobody who is a victim of this transphobia has come forward, at least that I saw, and if they did, that would be up to ThatGFFan to respond to - not me, a trans person unrelated and far-removed from whatever incident you are talking about (an incident that likely occurred when ThatGFFan was a minor, in any case).

I don't have a big platform. I am a small creator (much smaller than ThatGFFan), and a trans Palestinian person. Why am I being called upon to answer for a cis person's (alleged) missteps as they grow into an adult? Why am I being called upon to publicly shame and renounce a person who has shown me kindness and allyship? Is it so I can prove my dedication to the fight against transphobia? My entire blog, my entire body of work, my entire existence, has been an active fight against transphobia.

I mean, by God, all I can do is hope I'm doing the right thing here, but I vouch for him. Or I at least vouch that he is trying.

(p.s. I hope this goes without saying, but someone disliking a specific queer headcannon does not indicate one's political beliefs, and this is not going to be an accusation that I really engage with, because it sets a bad precedent. This is not a moral wrongdoing. This is an opinion you are suspicious of.)

[arealphrooblem]

Kidnapped by the Boss Part 3

CW: drugged/sedatives, death threats

synopsis: Civilian is a secretary to the Prime Minster. But when the political summit between the city states goes awry, she finds herself kidnapped by the very boss she tried to protect and nothing is what it seems.

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Civilian’s gaze darted from the face of the prime minister, to the driver.

“That’s not possible,” they said weakly. “He’s the prime minister of my city-state.”

The driver rolled his eyes. “Do you know who the King of the Hidden City is? Have you seen him?”

“No. No one has.”

“Then how do you know he’s not it?”

She glared at him. “How do you know he is the king by that logic?”

The corner of the Prime Minister's mouth twitched, the way it always did when he tried to hide a smile that wasn’t politically appropriate. It felt like a splinter in her chest. He slowly rose to his feet.

“Before the two of you can dissolve into petty arguments over logical fallacies, I will have to confirm his statement,” he said. He looked down at her kindly, like a doctor about to break some bad news. “I am the king of the Hidden City. I became Prime Minister as a way to infiltrate the political landscape of the other cities.”

“Why though? Why go through all that trouble? The Hidden City shut themselves off from the rest of the continent, not the other way around. You don’t need subterfuge to interact with the other ministers — they would have welcomed a meeting with you.”

It was easier to poke holes in his information, to use logic to deny this reality, than to face the truth.

The Prime Minister studied her for a long moment, as if weighing his options. Then from the medkit he took a syringe and a vial of clear liquid.

A knot started to form as he turned back to her, holding the syringe loosely in his hand. “I could tell you exactly why,” he said. “I could explain in great detail everything I did while under your care, right under your nose, in the service of my greater goal. Or you could take this sedative, and be none the wiser, while he and I confer about the next phase of our plan.”

As much as she both craved and rejected the truth, she stopped herself from asking for it.

“There has to be a catch,” she said instead.

The driver leaned forward. “The catch is that the more incriminating information you know, the less likely it is you will ever leave our sight again without being in a body bag.”

Fear lanced through her, and she instinctively flashed her gaze to Prime Minister, as if he could give her any comfort. But he stared impassively back, wordlessly confirming it, because he could not protect her. He was the one she needed protection from.

“What is your choice?” he asked her.

This time anger flickered to life in her chest. “My choice? You mean between learning the truth and becoming your prisoner or putting my unconscious body at the mercy of two men who threatened to kill me?”

“You’re a prisoner either way,” the driver pointed out, oh so helpfully. “One imprisonment is a shorter duration than the other.”

“No harm will come to you while under the sedative,” said the Prime Minister. “You have my word.”

She swallowed thickly. “Like I can trust that anymore.”

“Now that you don’t have much choice in,” said the driver.

She was really starting to hate him.

“May I remind you, darling, that you wouldn’t be in this situation at all if you had simply gone to the hotel room instead of the parking garage,” Prime Minister added pitilessly. “Now make your choice.”

“ . . .The sedative,” Civilian muttered eventually.

The corner of the Prime Minister's mouth tipped up. “A shame. I would dearly love to keep you.”

She should not swallow thickly at the sound of that. She should not feel oddly flattered by it either. It was a pavlovian response at this point, for the Prime Minister always praised her efforts and she always inwardly preened each time.

To her horror, the Prime Minister handed the syringe and the glass vial to the driver and him him her weight and height.

“He’s going to do it?” she yelped.

The Prime Minister blinked. “Of course. You think I know how to accurately determine dosage and administer it in a safe manner?”

“And he does?”

The driver smirked, as if in on a secret joke.

“I mostly deal in unsafe dosages for more . . . permanent effects,” he said. “But I do have the experience.”

She felt like a cornered animal, except she didn’t even have the luxury of lashing out. Not outnumbered and trapped like this. Maybe oblivion would be better than the terror churning and building in her gut.

The Prime Minster oh so helpfully pulled out a rubber strap from the med kit. “Hold out your arm, love.”

Love. She could count on one hand how many times he’d called her that and it made her blush each time. He had to have known. He had to be doing it on purpose now, as if that would trick her into cooperation.

Civilian held out her arm, not because he called her love, but because she had no other choice. The Prime Minister wrapped it around her arm and tightened it while the driver measured out a dosage of the sedative.

A spike of wild panic flared up in her as the driver took hold of her arm and brought the needle to a vein. She swallowed it down, refusing to cower in his presence. The driver paused and met her gaze. For once he did not look at her with a smirk or derision. His expression was soft and serious.

“I promise you will wake up again,” he said quietly. “This dosage will wear off in a few hours.”

“I don’t need your comfort,” she snapped.

He gave her a look of pity that immediately insulted her. “You’re shaking.”

 At least they had given her the choice, she thought, and then her thoughts turned slow and murky and then there were no thoughts at all.

Civilian awoke in a beautiful blue bedroom. For the first few hazy seconds, it looked like something underwater, a mermaid palace in the ocean. Then rational thought slowly trickled in and she recognized the silk wallpaper and lush carpet for what they were. Gold trim lined the walls and accented the velvet furniture. All the five star hotels she had stayed in with the Prime Minister could not compare to the obscene luxury of this room.

She also woke up alone. For a long moment she stayed down, eyes shut, trying to listen for the sound of movement, murmurs, footsteps.

Nothing.

Eventually she felt bold enough to sit up, and then to pad around the room, exploring. The ceiling was carved from dark wood, a chandelier bathing the room in a dim glow. A velvet sapphire couch sat at the foot of the huge bed. Dark velvet curtains hung over a floor to ceiling window, a little table and chair beside it.  

Civilian investigated that first, peeking between them without disturbing them.

She saw nothing but darkness. That’s when she noticed the little golden alarm clock next to the bed. It was two in the morning.

No wonder she didn’t hear anything. Maybe they thought she would sleep through the night. A plan started to form. Hoofing it out of the Hidden City on foot was not great, but it was better than nothing and maybe she could steal a car on the way or call someone —

Her phone!

She hadn’t seen it since the parking garage. It must still be in the car . . . Back at the airport.

Well fuck.

Despair overwhelms her for a moment before she swallows that down as well. What’s one more thing to steal?

Two doors stood perpendicular to each other. The first one she tried swung open to reveal a luxurious bath, complete with clawfoot tub, glassed in shower, and a huge, lit mirror. A powerful urge to take a long depression bath gripped her.

God she could really go for a bath.

Focus.

With great reluctance, Civilian left the bathroom and tried the other door.

It was locked.

“Going somewhere?”

Civilian screamed, jerking hard enough to knock over the lamp next to her.

A laugh echoed somewhere to her right, but the room remained empty. Invisible hands picked up the lamp and righted it. Civilian stumbled back, her first wild thought flashing straight to ghosts. Maybe the Hidden City was full of ghosts and that’s why it never joined the coalition of the rest of the city states.

Then the air shimmered and the driver appeared before her, grinning wide.

“They might have heard you all the way back in Your City,” he said.

She stared at him. Powered individuals were exceedingly rare in her society. The war that splintered the country into the current city states killed many of the powered. And the rest were chased out, victims of resentment and suspicion. They had fled to the Hidden City, the only place that would accept them.

If anyone in her city was powered, they kept it a tightly guarded secret.

“How — how long have you been there?” she asked.

His grin melted into a smirk. “You snore when you sleep,” he said.

“You were watching me sleep?” she yelped.

“You’re a potential enemy in a hostile city,” he said. “You need protection for the length of your stay. Or at least, that’s what my king said.”

She crossed her arms. “And how long is the length of my stay?”

He shrugged. “Till he figures out what to do with you, I suppose. And until then, get used to seeing me around. Or not seeing, as the case may be.”

The thought of his invisible presence haunting her made her skin crawl. And she had almost taken a bath.

“Like a good little lapdog,” she said bitterly.

He gave her a flinty look before stepping forward until he crowded into her space. She refused to back up, jutting her chin up to meet his gaze.

“I’m the king’s right hand. I do whatever he asks of me,” he said softly. “I spy for him, I sabotage for him, I kill for him. Whatever he wants done with you, I will do it with no questions asked and no hesitation. Right now you’re lucky that’s only watching over you.”

“Well you can guard me from the other side of that door,” she whispered, trying to hide the way her voice shook.

A tiny smile lifted the corner of his mouth.“I’ll take it under consideration.”

Part 4 here

tagging: @rivalriotrenegade @sunyside-world @fishtale88 @those-damn-snippets @suspiciousmuffin

[apricityxoxo]

Uncertainty II

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

hello yall this is pt 2 of this!

Din Djarin x fem!Reader

wc: 3,090

Summary: You are confused, you're always confused around him. He's always on your mind and you don't know why. You hate it. You always put a bit more effort around him. You want to impress him and you don't know why. Maybe it is because he's so irritating.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Info/Warning: angst, fluff, suggestive material (teeny tiny part not a lot), argument, an oc makes an appearance. lmk if I forgot anything. remember when i write i always have poc in mind, especially black women.

enjoy

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

So, he’s amazing…that’s all you have to say. He’s absolutely perfect and it doesn’t get any better. You know that absolute perfection is basically impossible but if anyone is perfect, it's him, you want him to be here forever. 

His big eyes and green face are the most adorable things created by the Maker. Even though he has wrinkles and the fact that he has hair but is bald at the same time, he’s still cute. You feel like during these two weeks something changed in you because you immediately wanted to keep him forever.   

If this child was a flower, he would have bloomed overnight. You watch as he makes himself comfortable in your home, making a fort with pillows to sleep on the floor. You watched as he played with the trinkets you had lying around. He tried to bring live frogs into your home, which gave you a mini heart attack from reacting quickly to get the slimy amphibian from your home, as gross as that was at least he was comfortable to try. 

Not only did he grow comfortable with you, but with your other students and kids that you taught. You told the Mandalorian during the day the child would accompany you to the school. He would sit in on the classes where you would teach him with the other children and pack him lunches so that he could eat during breaks.

The Mandalorian dared to disagree with you, to suggest that you cancel two weeks of school so you can focus entirely on the kid. “First of all, you’re not the only one with responsibilities, my students are also my responsibility. Second, I’ve taken care of children since I was still merely a child and it might do him some good to spend time with other kids.” You told the Mandalorian, now extremely irritated, he didn’t trust you and now he’s trying to tell you what to do.

You’re glad the Mandalorian reluctantly agreed because per usual, you were right. He made friends immediately; all of your students loved him. The child became more talkative, even though no one could understand him, he was a social butterfly. He made friends and played with them, ate with them, and learned with them. 

When you woke, you were excited. Today was the day the Mandalorian will return, and you’re buzzing with excitement. Definitely not because you want to see him, you’re just excited to share with him how well his son did, how much he grew in two weeks. You want to tell him, suggest to him that while he’s on Nevarro the child should be enrolled in school. 

You get up from your small bed and start your morning routine. This morning is different, this morning you put in a bit more effort and you don’t know why. Why do look at your face a little more closely this morning? It's definitely not because of that feeling you get whenever you are around him. 

You think back to the day when he dropped off the child.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Thank you for watching him…” he says in an uncertain tone. That irritated you, you feel like he thinks you’re incompetent. He’s always given off those “vibes”. Maybe he hates you? Maybe he thinks, you’re not skilled enough to watch his son? He’s always sent you these mixed signals. 

“It’s not a problem,” you said annoyed.

“Remember to watch him, don’t let him put anything in his mouth, don’t let strangers near him, and if anything goes wrong call me, my transceiver is always on. My transceiver code is 7 -”

“-75292MRC?” you cut him off, he’s told you all this at least four times, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes. 

“Um yes that’s right…” he’s said followed by an awkward silence. 

“And um…thank you, I’ve never left him alone this long before so I apologize if I’ve been… irritating.” He says, sounding shy.

You feel bad now, what’s wrong with you? Of course, he’s skeptical of you, you would be the exact same way if you had to leave your child alone with someone you barely knew for so long. You’re about to apologize but then he takes both of your hands and you go mute.

“Thank you… sincerely. I know you do a lot for the children here so I’m so grateful you agreed to watch my son.”

You’re stunned and all you can do is nod to him. Before he lets go of your hands, he gives them a gentle squeeze. He walks over to his son and talks to him with a stern tone before giving him a hug, probably telling him to behave. He picks up his son and walks back to you and you feel your heart racing. He hands you his son and you jut out your hip to carry him on your side. 

Even though you can’t see his eyes, you feel like he looks you up and down. He stares at you for a second before he finally says goodbye to you, and you’ve never felt so warm from someone just saying your name. And you stare as he walks off.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You put more effort this morning, you do your makeup with a little bit more focus. You try to accentuate your features, like your lips. You add a nice dark outline to them, adding a nice neutral color to the middle. You add a little color to your eyes, making them darker with a bit of brown pigment, you feel you look natural but different. You unwrap the scarf you put on your head last night. You were excited, so excited that you prepped your hair to be styled in the morning. You spend the rest of your morning styling your hair, taking your time instead of just wrapping your hair in a scarf and calling it a day.

You put on a brown wrap dress that was the color of Caf. The dress had a low-cut V-neck, definitely lower than you're used to wearing. It has long flowy sleeves that are wide at the end. The dress is long and you pair it with some boots. You add some jewelry and finish by admiring yourself in the mirror. 

You even go as far as wanting to spray a bit of perfume. You look at your perfumes “Which would he like?” you ask yourself. You internally cringe because who cares which he would like, you for sure don’t. You settle on your favorite, a warm and mature perfume that you haven’t worn in a while. You usually spray this perfume when you go out with your friends or on special occasions, today feels like a special occasion. 

When you finish spraying, the baby monitor goes off. The child is up and whining, he's definitely hungry. You need to make him some breakfast and soon, if you learned anything in the couple of weeks it's that this child can eat. You prepare a full breakfast, a traditional breakfast from your home planet Lah’mu. 

You get sentimental while cooking food from your home. You make a traditional grain and you top it with an assortment of vegetables that look like the ones you grew on your family farm. You top it off with three large eggs. 

You talk to the kid while you cook, and ask if he’s excited to see his dad. You tell him about the food you’re making, you tell him the origin. You tell him what ingredients to use like which vegetables are necessary, which rice grain is best, and which seasoning must be added. You know he can’t understand you but it’s nice to have someone to talk to. You finish his food and serve it to him. 

“Enjoy cutie, should I make more for your da-” Before you can finish you are cut off by a deep groaning sound coming from your kitchen sink. You rush over to inspect the sink and open the bottom cabinet to look at the pipes. You have a leak. Now you’re irritated. Irritated by the problems you get from owning an old home. The creaky floors that make it impossible to sneak up on anyone, the outdated appliances that require older parts when being fixed, the uneven stair steps inside and out of the house, and now a leaking kitchen sink pipe. 

“Kriff!” you curse to yourself, looking for a bucket to place under the sink. When you place the bucket under your sink you search for your transceiver. You start to dial the

number by memory but before you hit ‘Enter’ you hesitate, it takes you a second but if you want this to be fixed you need to call.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

 “Thank you for coming, I know it's short notice and you usually need to make an appointment so I'm sorr-”

“Don’t worry about it Mama” he cuts off your rambling with a wink and a cocky smile.

Mazian Xorsson, you’ve known him for a long time now, he’s definitely…interesting. He’s around your age. He’s very tall and you always see his physique under the tight black shirts he always wears. He has short buzzed hair that is a nice golden blond color and light skin. He had dark deep brown eyes and you’ve always had a thing for deep brown eyes. 

He’s nice to you at least, he's a bit cocky and a big flirt however he's very considerate and funny. He was one of the first people you met when you moved to Nevarro. He helped you move and spent time with you when you felt lonely. When you first met, you asked what he did for work, he told you a little bit of anything, he was a handyman and plumber, and he even knew a good amount about fixing ships. Those were good jobs but that never explained why he always seemed to have money. He made you nervous in a good way, but not the same the Mandalorian made you feel. 

 You internally want to beat yourself up because why are you thinking about the Mandalorian right now. You literally have a tall and handsome man in your house right now. 

 “How much do I owe you?” You ask going to get your wallet.

 “C’mon, you know you don’t owe me anything,” he says with a smile

 “Pleaseeeee Maz, I didn’t pay you when you fixed the fresher! Let me pay you” you whined

 “You can pay me with a kiss,” he says with a wink and turns his cheek to you.

You roll your eyes and begin to walk away, not before saying “You're such a flirt” You go to the kitchen and see that the baby has finished his food already and he looks at you with a giggle. You pick him up and take him out to the family room walking past Maz as he walks into the kitchen with all his tools. 

You sit and you wait for the Mandalorian, your knee is bouncing and you don’t know why. The kid is in your lap playing with the belt of your wrap dress as you zone out waiting for the Mandalorian. 

You jolt when you hear a knock at the door and run to the door with the baby in your arms. You check the peephole and see a ‘T’ shaped visor looking around your front porch. You give yourself a second to try and catch your breath but you open the door when you see he is going to knock again

 “Hi,” you say breathlessly.

“Good morning,” he says back.

 “Come in,” you say and move to the side so he can step in. He goes to sit down on the deep armchair you have that’s facing the couch. He sits down and adjusts himself by spreading his legs, wide. You look at his thick armored thighs and you feel like you're being disrespectful. You shake those thoughts out of your mind and walk close to him to hand him his adorable son. 

“He did such a wonderful job, you have such a great baby,” you tell him with a big and bright smile on your face. You tell him how he made friends and how talkative he has become even though you can't understand him. You tell him about the things you tried to teach him and how well of a learner he is. You told him how good he ate and all the new foods he tried, for some reason, he’s not a fan of poultry but a big fan of red meats and eggs. He's an angel and you made sure to remind Mando of such. 

“Maybe when you’re here… he can come over or visit the school?” you say quite shyly.

“Yeah maybe, I think he'd like that…” he replies

You try to suppress your smile, excited not only to spend time with the kid but also to see the infamous Mandalorian more often.

“Alright, I’m all done but I’m still waiting for that ki-… oh I didn’t realize you’re having guests,” Maz says as he enters the room and sees the Mandalorian. You and Mando both stand but the Mandalorian stays and watches as you walk over to the man.         

You walk over to your purse and find your wallet to give him the credits. “Here, this is all I have but I should have more by the end of the month”.

“It’s all good, don’t worry about it” Maz replied

You both went back and forth for a few minutes and you could feel the Mandalorian staring at you. You finally give up and thank Maz for his work, you see him out and give him a hug before he leaves.

Awkward. That’s how you felt, that’s how the room felt.

“Anyway, how wa-”

“Who was that?” he said, his voice stern and serious. He said it like he knew the answer.

“My friend, Maz… my sink broke so I called him to fix it.” You said and you hated that you sounded so nervous.

“I thought I told you, no strangers. “He said, he took a step closer to you.

“You did, he’s not a stranger”

“He’s a stranger to me”

“Everyone’s a stranger to you, he’s my friend and I trust him,” You told him with an attitude, ‘why is he always questioning you like a child’ you thought to yourself. 

“I asked you to watch my son and you can’t follow some simple rules”

You’re pissed. You’re mad and you feel disrespected. “Why are you treating me like a child, I followed your rules and I would never let a stranger near your child, let alone in my damn house. I’m not an idiot so stop treating me like one.”

“Stop acting like one. Why can’t you follow some simple rules?  Do you think I’ll ever let you watch my kid again?” He argued.

That broke your heart. You only spent two weeks with the kid and now you are already attached. Fine. 

“Fine, you’re right. I’m an idiot, I’m a idiot. So, you’re right, you happy?” You ask, you’re so upset.

“Yeah”. He says, he sounds cocky and you hate it.

“Get out.” You’re done, he crossed the line and now you're pissed off. You go to get all of the child stuff. You shove everything in a bag. You’re angry and when you’re done you throw the bag at the Mandalorian feet. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t me-”

“I don’t care, get out. Now.” You say and you watch as the Mandalorian grabs the bag and walks out the front door. He turns around like he’s about to say something but you shut the door.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You ignore him. You can possibly seem to understand why he keeps trying to talk to you. He’s made his point clear, and you’ve accepted it. He’s dropped off the kid to the school for a couple of hours but you know he’s close by. Every time he comes to pick the child up, he tries to talk and you ignore him. 

Maybe you’re petty, it has been a whole week and you can’t stop thinking about it. You’re currently wrapping your hair, trying to complete the final step of your nightly routine but you’re distracted.

Every time you do think about the incident your mind wanders. First, you think about the times he tried to talk to you after the incident. Then you think about the time he asked you to watch his son and he held your hands, or the time he helped you down the steps of your home and held your hand. 

Your mind wanders even more, you think about when he came to pick up the child. He sat down and spread his legs. You think about that a lot, late and night, and imagine his gloved hands on your body. You imagine sitting between his spread legs.

There’s a knock at the door, and your thoughts and routine are interrupted as you pause. You listen to make sure you heard that right. You finish wrapping your hair quick and you go to the front door. 

You rush to the front door and look out the peephole. There is no one there, not even on the street below and you are now on edge. Maybe today is the day you get kidnapped and die and with that thought in mind, you open the door. You look out and no one is there but before you close the door something on the floor catches your eye.

Flowers.

Your favorite flowers to be more specific. Skeleton flowers in a dark green vase with a red ribbon attached to it. You take the flowers inside and set them on the small dining room table. There’s a note attached to the vase and you’re surprised that you're a little excited to open it. You open the note and all it reads is:

I’m sorry, forgive me.

-M

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

next part will be mando's pov lol

[itsohh]

Death Goes to Disco Part 1

A/N: Female reader, this was long so I'm chopping it into two chapters. This ones ah a little more... less plausible than some of my other work but bear with me okay. Also this work may be named after a (honestly banging) song but does not fit it (much) lmao. oh yeah and yer got a callsign.

Summary: Second in command in Shadow Company you're someone that Graves can trust and rely on. Yet that trust is put to the test when he follows out his orders to betray both your ally's trust.

Word count: 4505  

Warnings: Smut, angst

AO3 Masterlist Part 2

A curse left Graves's mouth as he grumbled away from Hassan. All that effort to get him, only to let him go. "Rough." You placed a hand on his shoulder. You had been silent the entire time, allowing the big fish to play.

"Two minutes, leave me alone with him for two minutes." He hissed towards you.

"That would be an act of war wouldn't it?" You hummed and felt for your pocket. Slowly you pulled out the lolly and undid it.

"Not if no one finds out about it." You stuck the lollipop in your mouth as you listened to him vent.

"At that point, I think it's just murder."

"Something people get away with on the daily."

"Want one?" You pulled it from your mouth and aimed it in his direction.

"Not today. Hate this by-the-book shit." He muttered and you shrugged.

"It be like that sometimes." The pair of you turned as you were approached. Soap, you had heard them call him.

"So who's this?" He flashed you a smile and your eyes glanced over to Ghost who hovered behind him.

"This here is my second in command. Lieutenant Co-"

"Tsk, hate it when you call me that." You aimed the candy at him and he laughed.

"Alright then, this here is Disco. Best shot I ever saw." He praised.

"I'm alright. Everyone has their bad days."

"Pleasure to meet you. You were up with tv right? Think I heard your voice once or twice." Soap had a relaxed expression on his face.

"Mm, not that I did much. I prefer my feet on solid ground." Your eyes glanced to Graves before you looked back towards Soap.

"Ah don't be like that, you're our good luck charm. Nothing goes wrong with you around." Graves slapped his hand on your shoulder and you let out a huff.

"Everyone has their bad days sir. I would say adequate planning, resources and skilful execution allowed us to do well today." When Graves went to open his mouth you cut him off. "Not your notion of good luck."

"Nothing's never gone wrong with you yet."

"Arguably that may be because you don't put me on risky work." You turned fully to face him.

"Well, you're here now."

"Would you call this work risky?" Soap's voice had you both turn to face him. You had to admit, it was a good question.

"I'd call this high consequences. Needs to be done once and done right. Speaking of, pack up Disco, we have work to do."

-

Rudy was an interesting guy had to admit. Yet he sucked at cards. The pair of you had hidden away in the corner up on top of a massive pile of crates in a hangar. "You have to be cheating." He sighed as you put your cards flat for him.

"Just lucky that's all. Got a good draw." You shrugged and pulled forwards the bullets you have been using as currency.

"What in the hell are you two doing up there?" It was Soap's voice that broke you both out of your game.

"Ah, losing horribly hermano."

"Wanna come join?" You gathered all the cards and flexed them in your hand. John paused for a moment then shrugged.

"Ah, why the hell not?" He climbed up and sat next to you. "Surprised you two don't have to get organised for the raid."

"That's gonna be at least two hours away, Shadows gotta get everything sorted out." You hummed and started to deal.

"Huh, don't you have to I don't know supervise them as a Lieutenant?"

"Nope." You popped your P. "They know what they're doing. Besides I'm more combat focused. All the transport and gear n shit isn't my area of expertise."

"Where is your expertise?" Rudy asked.

"Graves."

"Graves?" Soaps raised a brow.

"He doesn't like being told no or something can't be done. I deal with that shit. He hates hearing about problems. I deal with that. In all honesty, though, I'm no leader."

"You sound like you don't like being a Lieutenant." Rudy looked up as you sorted out the bullets.

"So far things normally go pretty well. Nothing I've been responsible for has gone wrong which means he's slowly been putting me onto a higher and higher pedestal. Not looking forward to the day it all goes to shit."

"Scared of being fired?" Soap asked and you paused and looked up from your cards to him.

"Scared for the consequences that will affect the people under my charge. Terrified for the lives that will be taken for any mistake I make. Graves was instant on promoting me." You sighed.

"If you could, where would you put yourself?" Rudy asked and he pushed forward some bullets.

"I think I'd like to go back to when I was a Sergeant. High enough for my opinion to matter but lower enough to not have that pressure."

"Is that what being a Sergeant for Graves is like?" Rudy asked.

"Oh- no that was um before I started working for Graves."

"You were in the Military before going to Shadow Company? He pays that well?"

"It was never about the money. I lost a lot of friends and needed a change of scenery. Eventually, I'll go back, when the time is right."

"I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy." Soap offered.

"It's part of this life. I should be used to it by now."

"It's never easy losing the people you care about. It's what makes us human." Rudy smiled and for a moment the three of you shared that moment. A nice understanding.

A few minutes later Rudy slapped his cards down. "I give up, you have to be cheating." He started to get up and you let out a whine.

"Ah come on, it's just luck. One more round."

"Never playing with you again." He huffed but his voice wasn't too hard. Still with the light tone, he hopped off the crate.

"Ahhh Rudy, stay."

"Yeah, you might be a witness to me thrashing her." Soap offered and Rudy waved him off.

"I better go check in with Alejandro."

"Good luck!" You smiled as he waved and when you turned back Soap's eyes were on you. You paused, there was a certain look to them that had your breath hitch. Hungry. Yet the second he noticed your gaze it softened and resumed to normal.

You went to open your mouth when you come lit up.

"Disco."

"Yeah, boss?" You looked at the channel, it was your private channel with Graves. You made strong eye contact with Soap, just to see his reaction.

"This is your hour and a half warning. If you want to take one of your stupidly long baths. Now is the time." Soap looked down to the communicator before his entire head lift up with a laugh. You sighed and could feel a flush wash over your face.

"Thanks for the warning. Will do, sir." It fizzled to nothing.

"You take two hour-long baths?" Soap asked as you cleaned up the area.

"No I take hour baths, the half an hour is to get ready. But fucking Phillip forgot we aren't at home. Which means I don't even have a fucking bath to use." You rolled your eyes and Soap laughed.

"That being said the shower in my room does look pretty inviting." You started and you saw Soap wet the bottom of his lips. Moment of truth. "Would you like to join me?" You boldly asked and he cocked a brow in response.

Something flashed over his eyes for a moment and he paused. "I have a partner." Dread washed over you and you swallowed.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I uh misread things don't worry about it." You looked away and started to get up. He grabbed your wrist.

"That's- uh it's a little more complicated than that. We have an agreement if well." He let out a sigh of frustration. "I'd like to join you, maybe not for a shower but maybe some fun. He likes to... watch." Soap cleared his throat.

"Oh, ohhhh. I see I uh. I've never done anything like that. Do you do this often?"

"Talked about it a few times but no one's taken us up on this."

"Huh, why? Who's your partner?"

"Ghost." He looked at you deadpan.

"Yeah okay." You immediately said without any hesitation. Soaps brows raised at your nonchalant expression.

"Just like that?"

"We are all adults, aren't we? If your relationships solid I'm fine for a little bit of blowing off steam." Soap let go of your wrist at your answer and went for his communicator.

"Hey LT where you at?"

-

Outside of your door, you had a lollipop in your mouth while the pair of you waited for Ghost. "You look nervous as hell, don't need to be shy because of me." You leaned against your door.

"Not you that I'm nervous of."

"Ghost?"

"Yeah I mean we have talked in depth about this. If we wanted to ever do anything with a woman, spice it up."

"Scary going through with it?"

"Yeah."

"If it makes you feel better. It's not my first time doing something similar to this."

"Been with a couple before?"

"No, but had a third once. It was a pair of twins. They were identical and did everything together. Almost like a hive mind."

He laughed at your recollection. "How did that go?"

"Fun for the first time. The third time? Got a bit weird."

"Why was that?"

"Their older sibling wanted to get involved. Heard great things about this tongue of mine."

"Yeah?" His eyes glanced down to your mouth.

"Shame is that they just happened to be my CO's ex."

"Shit."

"Yeah, all I could think about was the one time I caught my CO blackout drunk crying over 'em. Never saw any of them again after that." The lollipop made a decent sound when you popped it out of your mouth. "Least I get a good story out of it."

"Is that what you're looking to get tonight?" You swore you could feel another pair of eyes on you as John spoke but when you turned towards the direction, nothing.

You looked back toward Soap and pointed your candy towards him. "I'm looking for this cunt of my mine to get fucking destroyed. The exact specifications are up to you. Considering we are still at work I presumed it was a mutual unsaid agreement that this would all be kept between the three of us."

"Glad we're on the same page." He took your hand and slowly brought it towards his mouth. The pink lollipop passed between his lips and gave a decent suck on it before it popped out of his mouth once more.

"I didn't say you could have that." His lips curled up on his face as you pulled it back from him.

"Oops."

"Better take back what's mine then." You pushed your lips against his. A groan was muffled against your lips and John returned it. The sweet taste of your candy mixed with the taste of him that you had to admit was one of the best flavour combinations you had ever had. Trapped between him and the door, his body pressed against you firmly and your arms hung around the back of his neck.

He felt for the door nob and suddenly pushed it open. John grabbed your legs and lift them up around his waist. He smiled against your lips and slowly started to carry you towards your bed. All the while the sound of your constant wet kisses filled the room.

It was subtle and barely noticeable. The door clicked behind the pair of you and the lollipop was taken from your hand. It was just enough to gain your attention. Your lips broke away from Soap and you panted slightly for air. Not one to stop, he found the side of your neck and started to kiss down it, sucking on your skin.

You pushed his head into your neck with your hand while you threaded your fingers through the thick hair of his Mohawk. Over his shoulder, your eyes found the dark figure in the spare chair in your room. Ghost. Completely silent, he sat rather comfortably. His legs were spread and his ankle rested on his knee. The mask on his face was lifted up ever so slightly and you noticed the small white stick that stuck out.

His eyes roamed not only over Johnny but you. It had an idea form into your mind as his eyes soon locked with yours. With your gear already gone, it was rather easy for John to remove your shirt. Then your bra.

A moan stifled in your throat and your eyes closed when John kissed down your chest and sat down on the bed. Now faced away from Ghost, you were mounted on Soap's lap. Soap's hands found the base of your ass where he started to grab at the tightness of your pants and roll your hips against him.

"Fucken gorgeous you are." He mumbled against your skin only to whine when you pushed away from him and got off his lap.

"Shirt off Sergeant." You took a few steps away from him, aware of both sets of eyes that were on you. John started for a moment before you spoke up again. "Don't make me ask twice." You could see the strain in his already tight pants and he breathed out before he ripped the shirt over his head.

"Good boy." The praised has his eyes lids hood for a moment and his throat bob.

Your fingers went to your pants and popped them over. Leaning forward slightly, you pushed them off giving Ghost a perfect view.

With your black underwear still on, you settled down onto your knees in front of Soap and undid his pants. His cock quite literally sprung free when you pushed away his briefs. Pre cum had already started to settle on the tip and he let out a hiss when your hand spread it.

"Been a while since I've seen one as pretty as yours." You kissed the tip before your lips wrapped around it. Soap let out a long choked moan and his hand snapped to the back of your head.

Your mouth popped off his cock and you looked up to him. "I didn't say you could touch now did I? Be a good boy and sit there for me." His eyes met yours and made a small nod and let go of your head. Soaps hands found the sheets on your bed and balled into them when you resumed.

Each bob of your head had you going just a little bit deeper, the curvature of his cock making it a little hard to swallow down your throat.

Your throat couldn't keep the abuse up forever though. It constricted around him as you choked for a moment. A loud moan fell from Soap's mouth and his head tilted back and slightly bucked up into your mouth. He was twitching, throbbing inside of you.

At his disobedience, you ripped your mouth off only to lick from his base all the way to the tip of his cock. "Getting a little carried away were we?" You pushed up off the ground to his whimper. Behind him, you crawled onto the bed. The tips of your nails racked down the front of his bare chest as you pressed your chest against his back. Soap's head fell back against you as you nibbled down the side of his throat.

"What do you want? Use your words."

"You, oh fuck I need to be inside of you." In reward, you pressed kisses against him and gave a light tug on his nipple that had him curse out to your amusement.

"You know…" Your voice trailed off when you crawled off the bed and stalked to the front. You gave John a short kiss before you turned around and placed your legs over his. Spread apart you grabbed his cock and settled it just between your folds while he gripped onto you almost bruisingly hard. It was obvious he was holding himself back.

"I may be borrowing John here for today from you. But that doesn't mean I don't mind sharing. I'm sure I can handle the both of you." Your eyes looked up and for the first time in a while, all attention was on Ghost.

Obviously affected, his hand has settled to rest over his cock. Even in his pants, you could see the long outline against his leg. It was an open offer, if he didn't want to participate, that was up to him. Yet it told him exactly everything he needed to know if he wanted to. Under you, you slipped John's cock inside and sat down properly.

"Fucking hell." You looked over your shoulder, your hand on his chin and kissed his lower lip. With his eyes shut and mouth open, you couldn't deny it was a beautiful sight.

"You may touch." You whispered and his eyes snapped open. Soaps arms wrapped around your waist and he used his grip there as an anchor to start thrusting up into you.

His eyes were locked onto yours as your moans mixed with his and the wet sound of cock spreading you wide. One hand reached up to your breast and placed his entire hand over it. Palming it, Soap's cock twitched inside of you and his head fell forward.

Only when another presence was felt did you turn. Facing forward, your eyes wet met this Ghost's torso in front of you. You had to crane your neck up to make eye contact with him. He was tall. Really tall. His gloves hand came to your throat. Right away you knew you wouldn't be able to control him like you did with John.

"You think you can handle both Johnny and I."

"I know I can."

"We'll see." His free hand went to his pants and undid it without looking down.

"Mask stays on?" You asked and you could hear John chuckle lightly behind you.

"Always," Soap answered and you shrugged.

"Your choice, are you going to be showing us that chest of yours. Or is it cock only?" Your brow raised. Silently Ghost removed his shit and you were greeted with his strong chest and the sleeve of tattoos on his arm.

"Nice piece of art."

"Isn't he?" Soap grinned in your ear and looked over your shoulder. He seemed almost proud to be showing off Ghost to you.

"She meant the tattoo Soap." He made eye contact with him and John's eyes fell on his arm.

"Ah, right." Hesitantly, you let go of Soap and settled your hands on Ghost's thighs. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite. Masks like a muzzle." He pressed a kiss against your throat and side-eyed Ghost.

Your hands undid his pants while he stroked the side of your throat with his thumb. Right, where your artery was. Ghost allowed you to pull his cock from his pants and you could feel the blood drain from your face. Happily still and buried inside of your cunt Soap could feel the way you clenched around him at the sight.

"He's big, isn't he? Was a long night the first time I took him."

"Still sure?" Ghost's hand went from your throat to your cheek and rubbed it ever so gently with his thumb.

"Maybe not."

"Ah no one's blaming you, he is stupidly big-" Soap started before you interrupted him.

"-In this position. On the bed Soap. You in front of me big boy." You climbed off John and dragged him onto the bed behind you. Soap let out a laugh at your enthusiasm and soon slid back inside of you from behind. The pair of you moaned together and John pressed his face into your neck.

"Fuck your so tight, no idea how you're going to handle the both of us." Ghost found his place in front of you. With his pants now removed, he settled on the bed and lift your leg up to give him that perfect angle.

Ghost's finger went to your cunt and swiped a decent amount of your juices. He pulled the now empty plastic stick from his mouth and placed it on your side table. He replaced it with his finger and let out a hum. "Johnny." The finger slipped from under his mask and repeated the action. This time instead of his own mouth, he pushed it into John's mouth. Still slick with his saliva.

"Mmm, now that's a good-tasting cunt you got there. If we'd had more time…" Soap trailed off. Your eyes met Ghosts and you grabbed his cock to line it up with your already stuffed cunt.

"So wet but will it be enough?" Soap hummed and you put the tip of the cock at your entrance.

"Go for it."

A chorus of moans was drawn from all three of you as Ghost pushed in. Your cunt greedily accepted him until he was completely buried inside, both of them pressed together.

"You actually took us." There was amazement in Soap's voice, slightly hazed out.

"You doubted me?" You tried to sound smug but it ended up coming out as a small whine. "I know my limit, now. Move." Ghost's grip on your leg tightened and his eyes twitched slightly before he slipped back and then slammed himself back into you.

The action had a ripple effect among the pair of you. John started to move with him, slipping out when Ghost thrust in. A perfect synchronisation that had you holding onto Ghost's shoulders for dear life.

The feeling of them both being inside. It was unlike anything you had ever had before. You could feel both of them so distinctly, the long thick vein that ran up Ghost's cock, the curvature of Soap's cock that had it straining against Ghost's. The way both of them pulsed and throbbed inside. Never had you been so full of cock. They were overwhelming, delicious, perfect. Never in a million years would you accurately be able to describe the pure pleasure the pair of them brought you, fucking into you.

Then came John's hand on your clit. With a cry you clenched down on their cocks, whimpering and panting out as you clenched around them. Together they lowly groaned. Soap swore and lightly bit your shoulder as your cunt milked him of all his cum. Overcome by your cunt clenching him through his orgasm it was impossible to hold back. A reaction that tipped Ghost over the edge and joined the pair of you in ecstasy. Slowly Ghost lowered your leg and you all lay there like that together.

Time ticked away and the two men cuddled up towards you rather content. Your eyes fell on the side table clock. You had about forty minutes before you would need to leave.

Despite the two men's sleepy protests, you wriggled free from them with the intent to go shower. At first, you were a little sore but when the warm water washed over you, you couldn't help but almost feel energised. It was like they had washed away all the stress that had been building up over the last couple of years. You felt like a new woman.

Out of the shower and all cleaned up. Your eyes glanced towards the two men still asleep in the bed. In your absence, they had found each other. Ghost despite being the far larger man, had cuddled up to Soap with his head on Soap's chest. John had an arm wrapped around Ghost while their legs tangled together. The display was cute and heartwarming. Yet, it also made you painfully aware of their relationship. It was obvious that they cared about each other. A lot. The content smiles on each other's faces, the way they were so comfortable- so in love. It made you a little envious. In the end, you were an outsider. Someone lucky enough to spend an hour or so intruding upon that relationship.

Your eyes cast down as you got dressed. It was clear from the beginning. This was just a bit of fun. You knew that you would all finish up this work with the missiles and never see each other again. Perhaps it would be kinder for you. With your shirt now on, you set an alarm for about twenty minutes. It should give them enough time to shower and get dressed. In the meanwhile, you left your room.

-

The mission went well. Really well. Soon you found yourself on the ride back to the base. Until you were stopped. A little confused you got out of the car and subtly Graves handed you his pistol. "Boss, what's going on?" You whispered.

"New orders, bare with me here." Your eyes glanced over to Alejandro, Soap and Ghost.

You could feel your heart race as Graves continued on. As things started to escalate. How did you not know about this? Why hadn't he told you about this?

"Disco." There was an accusation in Soap's voice. Venom. Hatred. A look you couldn't handle. You glanced down under his gaze.

"Now now, she's not dealing with this. I am. But if you want her input I'm sure she would be a lot happier if you boys stand down." Graves glanced at you for a moment.

"I would prefer if no one got hurt." You swallowed out.

"See, this can all resolve peacefully."

"Peacefully? Peacefully? My men are in there!" Alejandro took a step towards them. He was right, you had no idea what happened to his men.

"Your men have been… detained." All hell came loose and soon Alejandro was knocked out beside you. To your right, the Shadows were killed by Ghost and everyone's attention was on Johnny.

"Johnny go!" Ghost's voice came while Graves shot at the man. You, however, were still on the side with Ghost. He turned and was met with your eyes. The pistol raised in your hands. He didn't move. For a split second, the pair of you stared at each other. He didn't go for his knife. You didn't shoot. The image of his soft closed eyes asleep on your borrowed bed flashed before your eyes and you lowered the gun. "Go." Almost silent. There was no way he could have heard it but he certainly read in on your lips. Ghost didn't hesitate and dashed away from the vehicle into the night.

Slowly attention went off John and Graves was focused on Ghost. "He's already gone, sir. He was too fast for me." The lie came out of your lips perfectly. Just the right amount of disappointment and frustration in your voice to sound believable. With no other witness and no reason to question your loyalty, Graves accept it and swore out.

[ghouljams]

Bruh the fact that anon still sent that ask about C.AI even after you'd made your stance on AI perfectly clear? Wildly entitled behaviour in the askbox today omfg. It just saddens me so much that the ART of writing has been reduced down to nothing more than "content" people "deserve" to be given for free precisely when they want it. That people think they have a right to an author's ideas and thoughts and creations rather than simply appreciating how kind it is for someone to be sharing these things with us. I'm so sorry that you and many of the other creators on here have to put up with such horribly entitled people.

I don't want to keep harping on the ai discourse, but it's very disheartening to see this trend of using ai to replace artists. I think I've mentioned before but I tried using the c/ai thing for about 2 days before I started this blog and it was just not good. The ai can't contribute new ideas to a story, it can't remember what's already been said, it can't riff, I found no redeeming qualities to its abilities. All in all it left me going, "Fuck this I can do a better job just writing fic" when I hadn't written fic in 4 years.

I think there's an aspect of entitlement, but I think there's also an aspect of just... never having experienced the real thing. I view a lot of the c/ai shit as tiktok teens who have never role played before giving it a try with the worst possible partner. The people that really fight against the anti-ai crowd are people that just don't appreciate the effort that goes into art, and don't see art as anything but a consumable. It feels a lot like the 1984 "book machine" that just churned out slop for the mass market consumer and was run by people who didn't even read.

Idk I think being an anti-recast BJD collector, I see a lot of the same arguments for ai that I've heard about recasts and it always boils down to "well I want it now and my desires should come first" which just.... grow up. Interact with human people I am begging you.

Anyway this is all over the place, but yeah it's in my pinned now right up top that I hate ai. Please don't send me pro-ai asks I am just gonna start blocking.

[bloody-spider77]

Clockwork and Nina headcanons/Fic by Tic-toc-clock77

Clockwork and Nina had met one night after Clocky was sent out on a mission with Jeff. Nina had shown up, as per usual to beg Jeff to date her or just to be in his presence. Unfortunately, she didn't get to him in time.

"Jeff, I'm here for you again my prince!" Nina yelled, startling Natalie who jumped at the sound of the other girl's loud voice, dropping the body she was working with to shove into a bag. Jeff had already run away, which left the two girls by themselves.

Clockwork, who had already heard of Nina and her antics, groaned softly and let the body hit the floor with a thud. Behind her and in the doorway of the apartment, Nina looked around frantically for Jeff but came up empty handed.

She started to pout and walk away until she swung her body back around and ran at Clockwork. "Who are you?" She demanded, aiming her knife at Clockwork's throat, who just moved the knife down with her fingers using the backside.

"Clockwork." She said, furrowing her brows slightly. Nina's scrowl grew as she continued to question her, each time she moved closer in a desperate attempt to look scary, Clockwork would step back until she had her pinned to the wall.

The creak of the floors and the condensation left on the walls of the studio apartment, made it more uncomfortable for them both to stay in but Nina was nowhere close to done with her, question after question, much to Nat's displeasure.

"Look, I don't know what you want from me." She said, her back to the wall. Ultimately she was entirely unthreatened and had only been going along with this in the hopes that it would be a one time thing; it wouldn't be.

"Are you in love with him?" The question made Clockwork raise an eyebrow, did she really assume that? "No." She had always thought of him as more of a brother figure anyway, so the answer was obvious.

Still attempting to pull what she believed was the truth from Natalie, she asked her a couple more times and each time she shook her head; "No." So finally, Nina resorted, "Are you dating anyone?" She asked, finally pulling the knife away.

Being relatively new to her relationship with Toby, she looked away and nodded, Nina was finally able to draw some emotion. "OMG!" Nina said the acronym aloud as her suspicious glare turned into a bright smile, her eyes lighting up. Now, she was asking new questions.

"Who is it?" She asks, giggling while shaking Natalie's shoulders. Clockwork brushes her off and makes her way back over to the body bag and begins stuffing the body in. "Toby." She says, packing an arm into the bag. In her efforts to hide her emotions, she moves to work. Her face is flushed and hot at the mention of him and she hates it.

"It's..." Clockwork starts to explain but quits midway. After the bodies are packed, Clockwork escapes through the window. She hoped she'd be leaving Nina behind but soon enough...

"Hey Clocky!" 2 days after their first meeting, Nina had somehow found her. Clockwork groaned, sitting up in her usual tree to draw. Her mind was focused on the burned down barn in the distance so Nina's intrusion was more than a small inconvenience.

Nina struggled up the tree, her legs kicking desperately. Natalie sighs and puts her sketchbook down to pull Nina up by her small arms. "You're strong!" She remarks, stretching out her arms once she's sitting on the branch. "You're not." She retorts, frankly. Natalie goes to grab her sketchbook but is stopped by Nina putting her face up close in a grin. "Have you seen Jeff?" She asks anxiously, Natalie shakes her head. Truthfully, she had seen him before she left the cabin but she wasn't about to tell Nina that.

Nina sighs, "My prince is always playing hard to get." She complains. "But I won't lose hope!" Natalie watches as Nina stands up on the branch, legs wobbling. Nina stands triumphantly with a wide smile across her leathery face. The sunset is orange and blue with the falling sun in the sky. The sunset illuminates Nina's body as she begins to tiptoe across the branch.

She stops suddenly at the very tip of the branch, staring out at the barn that was burnt down a few months ago when Toby and Clockwork first declared that they wanted to become a couple. Cheeks burning from the memory of that December night, Clockwork stood alongside Nina. The moment is quiet, serene and birds chirp distantly.

"Clocky." Years later, Nina and Clockwork sit on the branch once again as it had become a meeting spot for anyone who wanted to see her. "Yeah?" Clockwork's head perked up, she'd become increasingly more used to Nina's constant talk about Jeff but she didn't mind anymore. Having become more comfortable in her own relationship, her and Nina could share those things together, even if Nina's 'relationship' with Jeff was one-sided and deluded.

"Have you ever thought about kissing a girl?" Nina asks, she runs it through her head for a second before clicking her tongue.

"I guess not."

"Would you kiss me?"

"What?"

"Would you kiss me?" Nina repeats herself, "You know, just to try." She adds. "Well..." Clockwork looks down, starting to seriously consider the offer. She turns and drapes her legs over the side of the branch, "It's really late...I think I need to head in and you know, see my boyfriend." Clockwork jumps down after making her runaway statement awkwardly.

"And then she asked if I wanted to kiss her!" Clockwork vents out to Jeff, her boots hit the hardwood of the nice suburban home they'd just killed the residents of as she paces around. "Isn't this a conversation you should be having with your boyfriend?" Jeff says, stuffing the decapitated head of a victim into a garbage bag. Clockwork sighs, looking down at the blood puddle of her victim, which she kneeled back down to continue dismantling. "Fine then, did you want to kiss her?" Jeff asks, stuffing a leg into the bag.

"I guess." She says, passing the arm of her victim to Jeff which he stuffs into a bag. "But, with Toby...and our relationship...I wouldn't want him to think I was considering cheating on him." She sighs again. Jeff rolls his eyes, deciding to give the advice that Liu had once given him before he became a worker and had a similar situation. "Why don't you just talk to Toby about it?" He suggests, his mind trails back to Liu for a second from back when they were 12 and 10, living in New Jersey when Jeff was dating (as far as dating can go for 7th graders) a girl but another had wanted to date him which was when he vented to Liu, same as what Clockwork was doing now.

"Okay." She takes a breath and runs off, determined to talk to Toby about it. "You bitch, you left me to clean all this shit up!" Jeff yells out the window as she runs, "I'm getting Slender to give you overtime!" He screams.

Once back at the cabin, she runs to Toby's room and shakes him violently awake. "What's going on?" He asks, slowly opening his eyes. "Can I kiss Nina?!" She asks nervously. Toby, who was left without a second to register this just looks up at her for second before sitting up. "Kiss who?" He questions.

Clockwork explains the whole situation to him. "I guess I just wanna figure out if I like it or not." She finishes her ramble with that, quits pacing and sits with Toby on the bed. "Alright." He says, "I don't consider it cheating if you're just figuring yourself out...I might do it too." He adds. It had turned out better than she expected, she hugged him tightly and he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Brush your teeth before you kiss me, though."

"Okay."

"I don't want Nina's leftovers on my mouth."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

They kiss quickly.

You can read more of this in my Wattpad fic but here's spoilers for said fic lmao

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Dr Greyson Headcanons pt 2

🩺 Part 1 here 🧸

No one asked but haha like I care yall are getting them anyway because at this point I think I'm just gonna manifest this man into existence. These are once again all sfw, but the next round are gonna be romantic and nsfw so keep your eyes peeled 👀

Like many other surgeons, he learned how to play an instrument to help train his hands for fine motor skill control and is now a decent pianist. His favorite composer is Chopin, citing the movement and freedom of his pieces as the reason. He couldn't get an actual piano into his apartment, so he settled for one of those stupidly expensive electric ones instead. One day, when he retires from Akso and he can move out of the city and get a real house, he'll get himself a baby grand.

He's one of the 1 in 4 surgeons that have insured his hands. His current policy is for $10 mil. With how much he still lives to camp and hike and do other manual things, it only made sense that he'd insure them.

Had a bit of an identity crisis in pre med. The whole "country doctor" stereotype really follows you, especially when you're applying to such tight and prestigious programs like Skywalk. When he was prepping for interviews, he got some "helpful" advice to 'tone down the bumpkin and sound more respectable'. He spent months training his voice (even visited the music program to work with a voice coach) to change how he spoke. Now days it's rare for anyone to hear his drawl unless he's home visiting. That's a big trust thing.

BUT this also plays a big factor in why he's so empathetic and kind. Grey has been there. He's felt it.

Despite what you'd assume from a farm kid, he's actually a snappy dresser. Kind of goes hand in hand with being perceived as too "folk" thing, but he pays attention to trends. Mostly via store windows and online ads. When he has to 'dress up' for work functions, he'll even wear the occasional bit of jewelry like a ring or two, or a small chain on his wrist or neck. Has a sizable watch collection as well, though he only wears 2 different (specific) ones to work that have all the special settings and timers. However, he hates ties. Thinks they're the worst contraptions ever invented and wants to have a word with whoever decided men needed to wear a noose around their necks every day in order to be seen as "professional." Man's got mad beef with 'Big Tie'.

Despite being a wonderfully skilled baker, he's a bare minimum passible chef. It's not that he's bad per-say, it's more that he finds no joy in it, and therefore doesn't put as much effort into it. He'd much rather get (healthy) take away or order in than waste the effort on cooking for one. He's only got so much energy left at the end of the day after the brutal shifts at the hospital, why waste it on that?

Genuinely loves training the new interns. He remembers what it was like back when he was a lowly med student in the cutthroat world of med school politics and wants to lighten their load a little. If he can do that with a couple cookies and a joke or two then he will, happily. Plus they always have the best stories of bullshit they got up to in their dorms or labs, and Grey lives for that stuff.

Can be a little bit of a gossipmonger. It's not that he goes looking for it, it's just that he's so friendly and chatty, people end up telling him everything. This means he ends up with ALL the Akso drama/tea without even meaning to. They're all lucky he's too benevolent to use his powers for evil lol.

A very adventurous foodie. Will absolutely try anything once, and even then will likely try it a second or third time just to be sure he didn't like it (unless it was seriously vile). Is the opposite of a picky eater and hasn't found many foods he doesn't like, with the exception of roe/fish eggs. The texture just makes his teeth feel weird and there are plenty of other ways to get that briney flavor.

His sense of humor is very broad. Slapstick, puns, surprise, gallows, it all makes him laugh. This man knows nothing of "a refined sense of humor", but his absolute favorite is the harmless pranks. He lives for abusing his hight especially. Putting things up on higher shelves where he knows the shorter nurses and interns can't reach, swapping out sugar for salt at the coffe and tea station, or putting a bit of ultrasound lube on the phone receivers at the nursing stations. The man is a little bit of a menace sometimes but it's all in good fun lol.

The whole "Nobody knows his real age at Akso" thing actually started as one such prank. Turns out there was a nurse with the same name as him when he first started, and due to a mixup with some paperwork there was a bit of confusion with personal details. The two kept the whole thing going clear up until nurse Greyson transfered out of Akso, but Dr. Greyson kept up the ruse. He thinks it's absolutely hilarious.

[rinrinx2]

Me and my Husband

Rindou × Fem!Reader

Summary: Rindou just seems to take advantage of your marriage until it's falling apart. Maybe he decides to save it or not.

Warnings: Angst, Mature themes, Mature Language, Inappropriate Language, mentions of divorce, mentions of cheating, Smut, Oral, Penetration.

-----------------------------------------

Your POV

Drip, drip drip, drip...

The faucet dripped away in the bathroom right opposite your bedroom, the same faucet you had been nagging Rindou to fix for the past 2 months, another reason your fight had occurred .

Or that's what your mind kept on telling you, all the small things he hadn't completed, all the small changes that had occurred from the first time you got together till now were the cause for the fight that had occurred what felt mere seconds ago but must of been hours.

You sat on the luxurious silked sheet bed, tears dripping down your cheeks as your starred into the void.

You weren't sure where Rindou had stormed off to when your arguing had ceased and the pain of the words you said to each other sank in, all you knew was that as you sat on the bed crying like you had been murdered when you heard the giant wood oak door of your overview penthouse slam shut.

'He didn't even try to comfort me'

Your mind was trying to reason with you to leave while your heart kept persisting you stay.

'Maybe he'll realize how much I mean to him.... yeah right' your thought as the overwhelming sensation of abandonment settled in.

"I wish I had just kept quiet" you sobbed into your palms as you hunched over in despair.

------------------------------------

Flashback to the fight

Drip, drip, drip...

"Rindou when are you going to fix that faucet it keeps leaking" you questioned as you, heard the water wasting all the way from the kitchen as you prepared dinner.

"Tommorow" Rindou replied back lacklusterly as he lied on the couch watching whatever show appeared on the TV while he still remained in his work suit.

That suit that was speckled with red dots of some man he probably beat to death, and you hated that he wore it in the house so casually like it was nothing.

"You know Kakucho's wife said that he changes before he gets home and he even goes as far as trying to hide his bloody suites so she doesn't see them"

"Well maybe you should've married Kakucho then" Rindou spewed back at your comment, causing you to clutch your knife a bit tighter.

"You know it's just the effort of trying to be a decent husband is what I'm trying to get at" you spoke raising your voice as you kept your back turned chopping aways at a carrot.

"Here we go again" Rindou said as put a couch cushion over his face to muffle out your complaints.

And you weren't quite sure what caused the vine of reason to snap in your head, maybe it was his half ass replies or his bored tone or even the way he walked around with his shoes in the house but something had caused you to snap.

And without a moment to waste you slammed the metal knife down causing a loud clink noise, enough to catch Rindous attention to move the pillow as your body did a full 180.

"Here we go again! Here we fucking go again" you repeated his words back to him.

"Here you go again being a shit husband Haitani Rindou. You seem to have fucking time for everything and everyone else, when Koko needs someone to help him choose between a new Ferrari or Mustang you're always free or when Mikey needs someone to go with him to a club you're magically free but when your fucking wife whom you married asks you to fix the faucet, take your shoes off before you get into the house or even just take your fucking bloody clothes off its like I'm asking you for the world -"

"That's different, that's works related" Rindou said chiming into you speaking.

"How the fuck is going to a club work related, all you do is get drunk and come home smelling like some girls cheap perform and with red lipstick stains on your collar. How is fucking some other woman job related. You're so fucking dense"

Like a wave crashing onto a bolder your words had pierced Rindou but not the in the manner you thought.

He now stood up walking over to where you stood as he began his half of the fight.

"And let me guess playing house wife is so hard. It because of this fucking job you have everything you want, the clothes, the jewelry, the shoes the fucking faucet even. You're such an ungrateful bitch sometimes"

"I fucking hate you. I hate you, I hate this marriage. When your brother told me to marry him instead of you I should've just listened to him. You're always be second best to him!"

And that did it, Rindou walked into your shared bedroom grabbing his wallet and watch as you stood frozen on your spot.

And as if the wave had finally hit you, the realization of your words came sinking in causing you trail after him.

"Rindou, wait. I didn't mean to-" you said as you followed behind him in the bedroom trying your best to apologize.

"No (Y/N), you've made it fucking clear I'm a cheating shit husband and you're right you should've married Ran, because I always will be FUCKING SECOND BEST TO HIM"

And the words leaving his lips caused you to fall onto the bed as tears fell out.

----------------------------------------

Rindous POV

Smoke cascaded around him as he took drag after drag of a half finished cigarette, still agitated about the whole thing.

'Maybe I should get a divorce' Rindou thought while he crushed the half lighted cigarette into the centre console of his car.

And as if some deity read his thoughts his phone rang up with a name that was thrown at him about 2 hours ago.

"Hey Ran" Rindou said as he spoke into his phone.

"Hey Rinnie, you home. I wanted to come around and discuss the plans Mikey wanted us to look at"

"I'm, I'm urrh not at home" Rindou said as he fidgeted with another cigarette.

"What happened, you and (Y/N)-chan fight" Ran said jokingly.

"Yeah I guess you could say that" Rindou replied as he placed another cigarette between his lips.

"Hey Ran did you ever try to convince (Y/N) to marry you instead of me" Rindou asked. The idea that his own brother was after you didn't make sense to him and he had assumed you just made it up to be spiteful in the moment.

There was a long silence pause Ran began speaking again.

"Yeah I did"

At those words the unlit cigarette fell from Rindous lips.

"I told her to leave you and marry me. I told her I'd leave Bonten and we'd move to the country side. We'd elope and you'd never hear from us again so you couldn't be upset at me or hate her. I knew you loved her Rin but when you introduced us something in my snapped and it was like all i could see was her, but don't worry she turned my marriage proposal down. She told me she loved you to much to do that"

"That's when I realized how much she really loved you, she didn't care about you being a criminal or about how she'd be viewed by the public or her family all she wanted was you. But that was years ago, I'm sorry I kept it from you. I never thought you'd find out" Ran said as he let out a sigh, hoping his brother would forgive him for his past ways.

Rindou sat emotionless in his car as Rans words fell all around him.

'God I'm fucking idiot'

You loved him no matter what and he couldn't even change a fucking faucet.

Rindou didn't even end the call, he just sped off to your penthouse in Roppongi.

--------------------------------

Your POV

A loud bang of the of the door startled your sulking figure.

And when you blinked and your eyes opened there stood Rindou.

'We're gonna start fighting again aren't we'

But before you could let a word out, Rindou fell to his knees, grabbing at your midsection as he apologized.

"I'm sorry (Y/N). Im so sorry. Please forgive me. Please don't leave me. I'll fix the faucet. I won't go to the clubs. We can elope if you want, we won't have to live this life. You can have a normal life just Please don't leave me"

And like the merciful God you were to Rindou you didn't even make him suffer a moment longer.

You moved his head away from your midsection and brought yours lower down to place a soft kiss on his chapped lips.

"It's okay I forgive, Rindou" you said and placed your lips back on his.

Rindou shifted up from his knees moving onto the bed, so that he trapped you between the bed and his body.

He kissed you with a burning passion, he didn't deserve a woman like you. You forgave him and all his shortcomings so easily and loved him whole heartily.

Rindou slipped his tongue between your lips, asking permission to enter and you agreed.

His tongue tangled with yours as you lapped at your tongue sucking on it in pleasure.

Rindou pulled back from the kiss, and carefully made his way down to your waist, gently pulling your jeans down. He was going to show you how sorry he was with how much pleasure he was going to inflict on you.

You breath hitched as Rindou carefully pulled your panties to the side. The cool evening air against you unclothed arousal made your cheeks burn hot.

"I'm so sorry baby" Rindou said as he placed a kiss on the inside of your thigh.

"I'm so so sorry" he said continuing his actions to the other thigh.

"I'm so so so sorry" he said as he placed his tongue flat against your pussy giving it a firm lick from your clit to your wet hole.

Rindou began sucking on your clit as his fingers prodded at your entrance. The suction of his mouth as it pulled and pushed your clit back and forth paired with his massive fingers pushing slightly into your puckered hole was making you unwind quick.

"Oh Rinnie" you moaned out.

And the sound of his nickname made him hard. Rindou began grinding his bulge against the bed in hope to find relief.

He continued sucking your clit till he moved his tongue lower to replace his fingers. Rindous wet muscle shoved itself in and out of your hole as it clamped down on him, while his fingers went to work on your swollen clit rubbing it back and forth.

"Rin I'm gonna cum, just please put your cock in me" you begged out, you needed to feel the push of pressure in your lower abdomen ad he took you, you had to feel his tip graze against your cervix that made you clamp so hard down on him that he came within a second.

"I don't deserve your pussy"

"Yes you do baby, you deserve my pussy so much. Please fuck it, its your pussy"

Even after a heavy argument you still let him have ownership of your sacred parts.

Quickly Rindou undid his belt and pulled his slack down with it, as well as remove his suit jacket and shirt.

Rindou now stood fully nude infront of you, his heavy cock stood up as beads of precum leaked out of his slit. Rindou moved back down to the bed helping you removing your sweater and unclasping your bra, giving each nipple a firm suck as he positioned himself between you.

"Thank you for letting me fuck this pussy"

Rindou began sinking into your warm slick cunt, the deeper he went the tighter it got.

The feeling was euphoric and Rindou knew he wouldn't last long.

You grabbed at rindous shoulders as he began thrusting slowly back and forth, the feeling of his massive cock rocking back and forth inside you as his cock head nudged deep within you.

Rindou could feel his balls contract and expand with every slap against your wet cunt, just aching to release the cum inside them into your womb.

And the thought of feeling your pussy milk him for all the semen in his balls made Rindou rut into your cunt.

His hips not leaving yours as he took deep shallow thrusts.

The sensation of being filled so deep in your pussy made you moan out Rindous name over and over till you lashline was filled with tears again, but this time the cause was pleasure.

"Your pus-sy is gon-na ma-ke mee cum" Rindou stuttered out as the grip on your pussy tightened by the second.

You were close too, you could feel it as your head began feeling lightheaded and your grip on his shoulder was loosening, you could feel it approach, the deep plunging feeling until it snapped and your pussy tightened so much that it nearly pushed Rindous heavy cock out.

Rindou shoved himself as deep as he could as your pussy tried to spit him out, the sensation pushing him over the edge as thick hot strings of cum shot out into your cunt.

You and Rindou remained connected as your caught your breath. Once Rindou caught his he lied on top of you, cock still deep within you.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)"

Even though his apology left his lips he knew the cycle of his behavior would continue.

.

.

.

Pls tell me if this story flows and makes sense 😭, I did some changes, pls feel free to comment what you think.

[blackfairy312]

Snuppeteer Post 🐍🎭

INFODUMP BELOW just talking about these characters and their dynamic with themselves and the other characters in this AU

🍷 posting right now heehh

okay, so. Vincent Pietro Allard and Komi Tchaikovsky. this Five Nights at Candy's AU. let's talk about it.

so the Puppeteer's name in this AU is Vincent Pietro Allard. he met a guy in college and the two of them decided to start a theater together. they confounded the Rat & Cat Theater and hired some actors. Vincent wanted to use the theater to get a start on his acting career, to put his name out there so he'd be discovered by some actung scouts and whatever. his partner was more invested in the business opportunities of the place. Vincent's partner and fellow co-founder is currently unnamed, so Founder 2 (F2) is what we'll call him. he's involved in the franchise after the Puppeteer quits to star in Psychopath. F2 eventually makes the Candy and Cindy stuff... F2 is involved with Robotics Corp in this AU.

anyway, Vincent is obsessed with being successful as an actor. so much so that he basically always has to act. Vinnie, his puppet, is a bad-mouthed rude character that plays off of Vincent ("Puppeteer" as his character) who teaches Vinnie to be nice. cause Vinnie is 😠🙁 and the Puppeteer is 😀🙂. like the drama 🎭 masks. or something. i'm a little high typing all of this so i really hope my thoughts are coming across properly. basically, Vincent thinks too deeply about things. he put so much effort into his and Vinnie's characters, and he feels like he deserves praise and appreciation. he doesn't know WHY the kids are so scared of Vinnie, and he doesn't know why they don't like his thought provoking shows. he doesn't understand why the kids like the campy and comical Rat & Cat Show. why doesn't anyone like the Puppeteer & Vinnie Show?

a little inside joke with my circle is that the Puppeteer is a pervert. do you guys know that scene in Helluva Boss where Moxxie points at the mascot and says "i KNOW you're a pervert under there!" and the mascot goes "...yeah." that's it. you guys know Robbie and Rex from Victorious? yeah. so Vincent likes to approach single parents and will use Vinnie to flirt with them. he plays it off like the puppet is doing it and Vincent will go, "Oh, I'm sorry. Vinnie, be respectful!!" and it's just weird and uncomfortable. he's just playing it off like he needs to project through the puppet, there are so many layers as to WHY he's committed to playing a character all the time. do you guys know that image of the tindr conversation where the guys sends three dog emojis and texts "come here boy! leave that beautiful lady alone!" yeah that's Vincent. that's the kind of pervert he is.

with that out of the way, we can smoothly transition into Komi's section. i am now talking about myself in the third person. Komi picked her last name out for a reference. after her last two ventures (Marvel and DC back to back), and the previous four before those, Komi has finally decided that she needs a break from all this 'end of the world' nonsense. she goes back to the FNAFverse at a different point in time, to purposefully avoid being there during the Afton storyline. she settles into her 'human' life and picks up a job flier for a pianist, or just someone who knows how to play piano. Komi hasn't even allowed herself to do one of her hobbies is so long, and she immediately takes the flier home and dials the number.

then she meets Vincent, and she can immediately tell that he's weird. but it's kind of endearing to her, in a way. this woman has been in relationships with so many overly cartoony villains that nothing really phases her too much at this point. i mean, she dated Albert Wesker and almost married him until some asshole named Chris Redfield decided he HATES love and blew the guy up in a volcano 😒 the only thing about Vincent that unnerves Komi is Vinnie. just the way that the puppet looks unsettles her, like some uncanny valley. Komi was a doll in one of her previous lives (and a snake in the other one, it's a long story), so of course she's feeling uncanny valley from Vinnie. he has a puppet face with HUMAN EYES. you'll never see any of us draw in-game Vinnie unless it's Monster Vinnie or for comedic effect. the Vinnie design we draw is specifically for our AU.

at work, Komi likes to spend time with the children. some kids may be scared of the Rat and Cat costumes, so Komi provides activities for them to do. in this AU, Komi sets up an area for the kids to color and draw in books and with paper. an Arts & Crafts area. Vincent almost opposed to this because he has a huge ego and is a control freak and cannot stand the thought of someone making a decision without his permission or knowledge... but because it has good outcomes (parents happy, kids happy, actors get fanart), he allows it. the kids call Komi "Snake Lady" because of her eyes.

during shows, Komi has a small piano set up on the stage so she can play music, of course. i forget the specific theater terms for the stage setup, but backstage but not BACKstage. Komi also likes to help the Rat and Cat actors (Antonio and Richard in this AU) with practicing for the shows. they write scripts for every show and rehearse them all. a LOT of work goes into this place now that i think about it. i was in theater once. what a nightmare.

i have actually lost my entite train of thought. i'm going to put random Snuppeteer scenarios for the rest of the post.

Vincent thinks Komi is really pretty. But instead of telling her that, he says something about how she looks like she just crawled out of bed and didn't even bother looking in the mirror. this is somewhat true. Komi is depressed and she doesn't really have the energy to play a role.

Komi has a stoic expression most of the time and only ever really shows emotion when's she under the influence of something. she's affectionate and attentive when she's high. sometimes when she's stressed out, she'll get high and hang out with Vincent at his apartment, and he'll put on a movie and talk over the entire thing while she listens to him. Vincent is a cinema geek, he gets so passionate about movies (especially horror ones) and has so much to say, and Komi finds that so endearing. she loves his voice and she enjoys listening to how passionate he is about something he cares about. oh that's so sappy! and this is when they're dating! they were so awkward before that, you know? Vincent being weird towards her and Komi being a little curt back towards him. you'd think that she HATED him! but unfortunately Komi likes him BECAUSE he is a freak. did i mention she dated Jonathan Crane? very specifically our DC AU version who is similar to Danny Johnson Ghostface where he SEEKS fear and purposefully carries incriminating evidence on him to satiate his fear of getting caught. Komi dated THAT KIND OF GUY. she's a freak too. don't let that face fool you.

they're like James Sunderland and Maria. Vincent can't take responsibility for his crime and Komi thinks he's lame and pathetic. that means Vinnie is like Pyramid Head. because that fucking puppet probably HAUNTS him now after the incident. why do you think they never reused that character in the Candy's Burgers and Fries joints?

if you managed to read this entire thing, i'm sorry. i live in absolute delusion. cringe is not a concept to me. i have overwhelming confidence, and crippling insecurity. let me live in my palace of dreams.

[lingering-42-long]

I’ll be home for Christmas

Soap x f! reader

I don’t know what happened, but the original one either got accidentally deleted or I just never posted it! This is the first of the series. I’ll be home for Christmas. Enjoy

Warnings: none

John winced when he got the call from headquarters saying he would need to leave for duty on Tuesday, witch meant be on a flight to the shitty hell-hole of a place tomorrow. He hated being called at last moment. Being left out of the loop irked him to no end.

Soap looked over at the clock and noticed that his girlfriend would be home soon. She worked at a local pub by night in Sterling and her shift was nearing the end. Just as he was thinking about her his phone buzzed with a text. It was from (y/n). ‘Hey Johnny, I’ll be home in a bit on my way.’

John texted back ‘ok love. See you here.:)’ He noticed she called him Johnny not hunny or babe. She must be tired. He thought to himself as he got up to finish dinner. He hated having to leave her behind in such short notice.

The Cock-a-Leekie soup was almost finished when John heard keys outside jingle and the lock opening. (Y/n) came in on this chilly night.

“Brrrr. It’s cold out there” she shivered and hung her jacket on the peg by the door and was in the process of taking her wet shoes and socks off, when two arms snaked around her waist. “Aye mo leannan (yes my sweetheart). You’re cold aren’t ya?” His thick Scottish accent rolled off his tongue as he kissed her neck. A giggle could be heard from her lips “Already trying to flirt with me this late? “Lass if I was try’n to flirt with ya, I would’ve put more effort into it.” He gave a little nibble to her earlobe. (Y/n) smiled as she slipped on a pair of house slippers. “Something smells amazing. Are you making what I think your making?”

“Aye ghràdh (love).” Soap smiled as he dished out two plates.

“You really didn’t have to do that. It’s so late…” It was true. It was around 1:45am, but John didn’t matter. He knew he did not have much time with his Beloved. “No I don’t mind,” he smiled then his face dropped, “Also I got to tell you something.”

A frown formed on (y/n)’s face. “Let’s talk about it after dinner, ok?” John gave a quick nod and touched her cheek gently “tha gaol agam ort (I love you).”

A light blush formed over (y/n)’s face “I love you too”

Dinner was amazing and the two of them talked about (y/n)’s job and who was at the pub that night. John gave a slight snort when she was telling him about the idiot who kept flirting with her. ���Did ye tell ‘em yur with meh?”

“Of course I did but you know how men are, he saw that as a challenge”

“Next time I’ll show him a real challenge” he huffed.

“No need. I took care of it quick.” She chuckled. “I got Bruce to start waiting on him.” The man Bruce, she was referring too, was a big hulking of a man and could scare anyone into submission if it came to one of his colleagues getting uneasy with a drunken idiot.

“Well at least he has been delt with.” John nodded. He was very happy that she could stand up in a fight. That’s one of the many things he loved about her.

“So…. What’s this bad news you have to dump on me?” (Y/n) asked already figuring it out but waiting for the confirmation.

“Lass I got called in for a mission… I know it’s bad timing.” So close to Christmas. It was both there favorite time of the year. It was going to be tough on them.

“Yeah really bad timing.” She bit her bottom lip trying not to let her tears fall. “I had made plans and everything too…oh well”

“Hey now mo aingeal milis (my sweet angel). Yer can still do those things, and the plan is to be home for Christmas… if all goes to plan tha’ is.” A simple touch to the shoulder almost sent (y/n) crying. She was a tough-ie but things that were very important to her still got to her. “I know…I just worry if you will be ok…if you will make it…”

“Aye Bonnie I promise ye I will com back home in one piece yeah?”

“Alive?” She asked

“Alive and well.” He chuckled. “Now go get ready fer bed. I’ll clean up and be there in a bit.”

She shook her head “I want to help…”

“Your tired. You’ve been working all night. Let me do this fer ya.”

“Fine.” (Y/n) trudged upstairs to their room and washroom were she took off her makeup and jewelry. She had worn the necklace and matching earrings that John had given her last year as an anniversary gift on Valentine’s Day.

She looked at herself in the mirror, tears still threatening to spill, a long night and now this? Pull yourself together girl. (Y/n) told herself but to no avail. When she made it to the bedroom to get changed for the evening, the thought of her boyfriend leaving her made the waterworks start as she burst out crying into her pillow, sobbing away. Perfect timing for Soap to walk in, catching sight of his overtired, crying girlfriend.

“Hey hey hey! What’s this Love?” Gently kneeling beside her side of the bed and placing a hand on her back.

“I’m sorry I must be tired, but the thought of you leaving for the holidays…” (Y/n)’s voice broke again as she tried to regain her composure.

“No don’t apologize, ghràdh (love). I wished I could have told you sooner.” He kissed her head gently. “I know this will be h’rd on both of us but we can work this out, yeah?” John got up and walked to his dresser to get on a pair of pants. He liked to sleep shirtless.

As soon as Soap opened the covers to get in, his girlfriend clung onto him. “Aye lass I got ye.” He chuckled and stroked her head. “I’ll wake ye up when I leave ok?” No reply just a nod into his chest. Softly, as if she would shatter in his arms, he hummed an old song and gently rubbed her back. This made (Y/n) break down and cry again. “I got ye let it out. Shhhhhh.” John murmured, now his own eyes betraying him as they stung with salty water threatening to hit his pillow and his girlfriend. He held (y/n) tightly, letting her cry to sleep, knowing that would be the best for her. Soon he was following in that pattern.

It was 6:30am when John began walking to the door with his sleepy girlfriend in tow, holding his arm. Soap opened the door, with his duffel bags in hand gave his (y/n) a kiss. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, you’ll see”

(y/n) nodded sadly. “Be safe out here ok? Kick there asses.”

He gave a small smile “I always do.”

John turned around to head for his car don’t turn back, dont fucking turn back. But he did and saw (y/n) standing there “fuck” he muttered a small choke. He dropped his bags and swiftly dashed back to her.

“Oh lass I am going to miss ye so so so much!” He was shaking. Trying to hold it in, trying to be the big tough Sargent he needed to be.

“It’s ok. You told me last night we got this, it’s not like we haven’t been in this same boat before. If we did it 100 times before we can do it one more time. I’ll be waiting here for you when you get back ok?” A smile laced with sadness stretched over (y/n)’s face.

He pulled himself up and nodded. She was right. With a final lasting kiss he went back to grab his bags once more and this time made it to the car without look back. Setting his stuff in the back seat, he then got into the front, starting the engine, and slowly driving out from the driveway. He could see her silhouette in the dim light coming from the living room as she stood outside watching him. Soap drove down the road towards the airport with one thought on his mind.

When I get back love, I’m going to ask you a question… I hope you say yes.

[httyddragonfox]

Ray/Saeran's regard towards MC

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Now we should look at Ray's route, this also goes into the after ending a little bit, but it's mainly repeating what we've seen before, so I won't go into it that much.

The first real difference is during the branch, Ray remembers how unpleasant the elixir was to take and realizes that he doesn't want you to endure that. Why does this happen? Ray loves you in the other route as well. In this route, you've shown more signs of wanting to stay with him despite the lack of elixir, this wasn't as present in V's route which is why he took drastic measures. Ray realizes he doesn't need to brainwash you if you're going to be with him anyway, in the V route he probably knew deep down that you wanted to leave. So Ray tells you himself that he was lying to you over the past few days and that the RFA are in fact real. You're not as upset with him in this version, probably because he's choosing to be honest with you now and no real damage was done. Of course V shows up, and Ray freaks out, thinking he's a threat to us. V changes his tune and decides to try to save Saeran in this route, mainly because we're in no immediate danger. The real turning point is that Ray decided not to drug us.

Instead of the savior supporting Ray's efforts against V, like in the last route, instead she berates him for letting this happen. Probably because in the last route he took more affirmative action against V when he showed up, and here he just froze. She gives him much more elixir than before, and he continues to berate himself, thinking he's not good enough. That's including us; the savior officially welcomed us, giving us a card to access the facilities and walk freely. She also seems to be thinking about giving us a more important position once we're done with the party. Ray actually sees us less, only really coming to see us to give us some fake elixir in case we're forced to drink it. The thing is, he thinks because he let V interact with us, he put us in danger; because he didn't do more to stop him, he's not good enough for us.

In the bad relationship ending, we're drugged, and we have trouble recognizing people (I believe is part of the brainwashing process, as it happened to V and Zen as well). Ray is just kicking himself, for being unable to protect us. In the 1st bad ending, we have constantly convinced Ray is best and can be better from working, and so he's self-sacrificial towards us, calling us his goddess. Ray wanted to be better for us, and we convinced him this was it.

Of course, in order to convince him we love him, and that he's not short-coming in any way, we kiss him. He's quite moved by this, and a little shocked: "Our lips touched." He seems very innocent, but he says we are free to do it again as much as we want, so he enjoyed it. Of course the "savior" says the best thing for him would be to put him under, so he could be more effective. Saeran then comes out, and the first thing he does after a wardrobe change is to visit us. He wants to see what we're about. You are queued in that he is different, especially when he says he won't devote himself to you. He explains that he is another side of Ray, in fact he's more of the real one, and we're never going to see Ray again. He calls us an airhead, and mocks the idea that we think we're a princess. He then pins us to the wall, and tells us he hates the way we smell (Then why are you getting up close, dummy!). He tells us that everything about us gets on his nerves, he hates our eyes especially, maybe he should blindfold us. He then blames us for trying to get rid of him by being nice to Ray. He claims we were using him as our puppet, and that we're an idiot for trying. He demands that we entertain him, show him an interesting face, such as sadness or anger. When we tell him to let us go, he laughs at us, and claims we're disastrous and from a world of fairy tales. He claims we're stupid and good for nothing. He tells us if we know our place, we'll be silent like the grave, and not even let him notice us breathing. We get on his nerves by trembling, so he threatens to bite our head off, and so he bites us on the neck. Was it blood drawing bite or a hickie? Who knows? We try to push him away, but he's just amused that he scared us. Similar with Jaehee's bad ending, he says we shouldn't freak out because he's barely begun. He decides to check the next day to see if the marks last, so it's not that deep. He tells us we have to be interesting and fun if he's going to spend time with us. This is where we start crying, and he just wants to see us get angry. He wants us to provoke him so that he could play with us. Of course he gets bored, so he lets us go. He claims to have more "fun" with us if we make trouble, like begging for help from the RFA. If we do so, we'll be cleansed, and he knows how to make it really painful. He debates actually telling the savior we're bad so he could do it, but since we're quiet he gives up on playing with us. He leaves, telling us he'll be back when he's bored. He then tells the nearby believers that nothing is to go inside our room, and that we are forbidden to leave. We have become a prisoner.

Why is he so mean to us here? The other routes he's still a danger to us, but he's not mean. The evidence is right above here, he thinks we're a threat to his survival. He's been brainwashed to believe that part of him is essential, but we've been telling him he's fine the way he is. So he's lashing out at us. In the other routes there's no threat of us changing him "for the worst," so he's not as mean. If anything, in the other routes he's more capable of changing us for the worst.

He spends the next couple of days heavily abusing us, [Examples listed here], the savior comes in and tells us, "So sad for you, enjoy being tormented." Why is she choosing to let this happen? Well most believers have to go through training anyway, this might as well be ours. She's not as interested in us in this route, because V isn't as interested in us. When V was interested in us, she thought we were similar enough that we could understand her. In her words here, she says that we need to be the weak one in order for Saeran to be strong, it's all for his sake. You question why more believers don't have this dynamic, but you see Saeran has a lot of authority at Mint Eye, he has certain privileges, also again, this is training for us.

Saeran tells us not to tell the RFA, because obviously this isn't good; deep down he knows that. He's acting this way because he believes it's right. He also spends a lot of time pretending to be Ray, either to make Ray seem more pathetic, make us seem pathetic for liking him, or to get certain "favors" from us. He comes to our room disappointed we're not putting up more of a fuss, guessing it's because we were starved. Then he takes the time after insulting us to vent towards us about the RFA situation. We can either try to reassure him, or tell him he's over reacting, either way he snaps at us for either not doing enough or for talking back. We try to put some distance between us and him and he then tackles us to the ground, pinning us there. He calls us his prey who he has now trapped. We try either appeasing him or calling out for help, because we are terrified. He tells us that the only thing we should say to him is "Yes," we can either appease him or say nothing. Appeasing him has him tell us he's doing a good thing reminding us of our place, but saying nothing makes him aggravated. When he tells us our only purpose is to entertain him, we can either appease him or defy him by calling out for Ray. Defying him makes him consider gagging us because he doesn't like our voice, but appeasing him has him say we should use a certain honorific with his name, which I think is nim which basically means master (equivalent to Japanese sama or dono). He wants you to see him as above you, and wants you to devote yourself to him. He goes on to say we need to do a better job cleaning ourselves because we still smell the same. We get interrupted, which he says is lucky for us, then backtracks and says he'll just make the next encounter worse.

The party gets suspended, so we get taken off the task. We are no longer allowed to talk to the RFA, only Saeran and Rika. Saeran has full custody of us, allowed to get rid of us should he see fit, allowed to do with us as he pleases. He has a camera installed in our room to see us at all times, taking away our privacy. Rika asks him why he doesn't just get rid of us, and he says he can still find fun things for us to do, he likes seeing us suffer. He says the RFA is moving forward without us, not even needing us. Of course we know it's a lie. We eventually get to talk to Rika and figure out that she is the mastermind behind all of this. She says we brought this suffering upon ourselves, because we refuse to be strong like they are; that includes hurting others before we ourselves get hurt. Saeran claims that once they bring over the RFA they will also learn how pathetic we are. We can point out that the RFA won't be defeated, he nonchalantly points out that they'll just be cleansed if they refuse. Rooting for RFA over Mint Eye makes him see you as a traitor, but he says that doesn't change anything. You'll still be his toy no matter what you do. He tries to taunt you over your hunger by sharing a picture of his food, if you don't enter the chat room he tries to bribe you with it (of course, knowing him it would probably be a lie). He then decides to make you uncomfortable by making you kiss him.

He comes into your room, mocking your love for Ray. He says since you didn't get up immediately to see "the face you love so much" you must not actually love him. You could either say he isn't Ray, or tell him not to mock you. He says he may not be Ray, but at least he shares his body, so that should be enough. If you snap back to him, he gives you a kudos for your love staying strong. He then gets into your personal space (why else would the CG be that close up) and says you probably want to kiss it, he's pretending to be Ray so you can go ahead. If you don't he'll just have some fun with you in the basement and then get rid of you, whatever that means. Will he torture us, r*** us, both? Doesn't seem good either way. Now you can kiss him, or you can push him away, it doesn't really matter because he starts snapping back when you do either. When Ray snaps back, he notices how thin we are and realizes that Saeran must've been hurting us. He apologizes profusely, saying he deserves to be thrown away for such actions. When we tell him that it was Saeran, not him, he explains to us that Saeran is his birth name. Ray was created from the weakest parts of himself balled up to excised and shouldn't even exist. This anger and hatred, it is a very real part of himself, but he is also scared, Saeran is also scared, with us around he wasn't... he cuts himself off, telling us to leave before Saeran comes back and hurts us again. He then runs off.

Funny enough, in V's route Rika acts like it was a good thing to keep Saeran under, but then again she was talking to Ray at the time. In this route she acts like either one of them is good in their own ways; Ray is dutiful, while Saeran is strong.

Saeran comes into the next chat-room freaking out, wondering what we did to bring Ray back. He gets so fed up with us, he decides at the end of the chat that he's going to get rid of us. We then have a talk with Rika who says that Ray only came back because Saeran had a moment of weakness with us. Was it because he liked kissing us? Was it because we took him by surprise with us pushing him away? Maybe with the push Ray realized we were in trouble? To that degree, she decides to make our death a big ceremony, and use the special elixir on us. Yay? Everyone is going to celebrate our overdose. Saeran keeps talking about how painful it will be for us, and how once we're gone he'll get a better assistant, trying to make us suffer with prospects of the future. He is frustrated his savior won't let him take part, and we tell him what she said. He denies it and says he's going to see us before our final moments, as much as he wants and no one can stop him. Of course, he's denied entry. Rika soothes him and stops him from hurting believer on guard by telling him he's the strongest believer she has. This makes him forget his rage for a moment. He contacts us later and says what his savior told him and we should take pride we belong to him. We try to warn him he's being used, but he won't listen. He seems to be debating with himself if he actually wants us gone or not.

The 2nd Bad Ending comes up because we let Saeran get away with his abuse towards us, and reassured him on his beliefs. He takes away our phone after a cruelly tricking us into thinking Ray had returned. He's actually happy that we don't like Saeran. The point of all of this is that we're miserable. We suddenly break and just don't have any hope anymore. Later he's seen to give us gifts, only to cruelly take them away from us, calling us undeserving. We're starved to a certain extent, and he keeps telling us about a new "girlfriend" he'll have, who'll be better than us in every way. Of course, there's hope for us if we can satisfy him. Of course, what we do is never enough. He then leaves us alone for a long time, implying it's not the first time he's done it.

So, what do we know of Saeran so far? He wants to believe he's strong, and much better than Ray is. He resents that part of himself, so he's not happy with you for liking it. He's trying to prove to you he's the strong one. He does this by being forceful around you, depriving you of everything so you have no choice but to rely on him and accept him as he is. Of course he's also envious of Ray, as why else would he use him to force a kiss from us. It could be a way of showing that he owns us, but there's a point I need to make later. Why do we have to be miserable in the 2nd bad ending though? In other routes it wasn't necessary that we were miserable. I believe this all has to do with Ray, which is a point I'll make later.

Eventually he gets frustrated with how things are. He makes his way to our room and forces his way in. He snaps at us saying we better show ourselves to him, if we try to calm him down, he snaps at us for caring about him and talking back; if we ask if he wanted to see us, he just says he had to make sure we were okay for our death. He is rather frustrated though, because we're his toy so why does he get to sit out with what happens to us. Our best use would be for him to finish "playing" with us and then throwing us out himself. We try to contribute, but he barks at us to be quiet and just nod to what he says. He then starts flashing back to his mother, reminded of the abuse she inflicted on him. Despite us not saying anything, he snaps at us saying he's not like her. He keeps flashing back to his mother's abuse, and even to his own savior's abuse. He then snaps and attacks us, grabbing us tightly by the arms. He claims he's going to kill us then and there, because he's the strong one, and demands we cry out in pain. If we say nothing, he continues demanding it. If we say it's painful, then he's a bit ecstatic, happy at the pain he's causing us. If we call we strong it's the same result. He says he has to cause us pain, because whenever he does he feels a little better about his own life, and if we disappear then that cold grayness in his life will persist. We can either beg him leave with us, or tell him that even if he kills us he won't be saved. Either way he snaps at us, telling us that we don't know anything, or we'll probably just leave him if he leaves with us.

So why are we so miserable in the 2nd bad ending? It's because Saeran realizes deep down his life is not great, unlike in the other routes where we didn't make him feel like he could have a life outside with us. In other routes, he's trying to convince us he's not all bad, and life in Mint Eye is good. In this route we have to be miserable because it will prove we were wrong. Ray is weak, and therefore we're weak too.

Rika is shocked over what happened. She decides that we're better left alive for the time being, and postpones our ceremony until Saeran can be found. She also tries to keep an eye on our room in case Saeran returns there, but discovers he put a lock on the camera monitor so only he can use it. She then offers us a high position if we were to turn over Saeran should we see him again. Saeran is hiding in the garden, and plans to be agressive with whomever comes for him. V then defends him, and begs him to leave Mint Eye with him and the us, as we're also worried about him (He met us earlier to give us food and update us on the RFA). Saeran thinks of maybe turning V in or killing him, but when he thinks about what would happen to us if we left, he realizes we'd be much happier. This is where he realizes that Mint Eye isn't a paradise, and how cruel he has been to us. He tells V that he should take us and leave. Saeran then spends the next chat room talking about how he's questioning everything he believes and he's now vomited out all the elixir he's drank (hyperbole, as he literally can't). He then comes to visit us as we're sleeping, and promises us he won't hurt us ever again. He explains that all the insults he threw at us were things he thought about himself: stupid, useless, an airhead. All those times he insulted our smell, our eyes, anything about us, he never meant it. He explains that he wanted to get closer to us, but at the same time he was afraid and he wanted to put distance between us. He actually admires us, because we refused to be pushed around by him, yet we were never cruel to him, to him we're actually very strong. He just didn't want to believe it. He tried to hurt us, but in the end he was the only one getting hurt. He actually admits Ray would be a better person for us, because although he's timid ('a chicken' in his words), he would never think of harming us. In a phone call, he asks us who we would leave with, and no matter what we say, he says we should pick Ray. He promises to leave and Ray will come back instead.

Rika is shocked that Saeran would admit such things, but now that he's back and that Ray is going to be back, she'll have a better time controlling him. Overall, she's decided she's not going to kill us, instead she's just going to cleanse us. It's easier to control Saeran and Ray that way. Saeran has a flashback, where he made a promise to his brother to always be himself and never change for anyone. When he wakes up, Rika starts drilling him with plans to induct the RFA, but he realizes he doesn't want to be there anymore. He confronts her by saying that Mint Eye isn't a paradise, it's a machine she runs so she has the excuse of feeling good about herself whilst treating people like how her parents treated her. True paradise is being with the one who makes him happy. She snaps at him, saying she'll cleanse him, she'll banish him, and then realizes what she's saying and then apologizes, begging him not to leave. She also realizes he's not Ray, but he's not exactly Saeran either. Saeran then leaves.

There is a bad ending where you join Mint Eye as Rika's #2, using Saeran as a puppet king. He's willing to do so as long as you're happy.

In the Bad relationship ending, your ceremony happens. You have trouble recognizing people and Saeran has trouble recognizing himself. He feels terrible that he couldn't save you and decides to put you somewhere safe, that being the apartment.

In the game proper, he actually saves you before they come to get you for your ceremony. He comes in through the window (classic Saeran), and you land in the garden. He tells you that he is both Saeran and Ray now. It took him a while to realize what he actually wanted out of life and that Mint Eye was not a great place for him, but he has you to thank for helping him come to terms with himself. After sharing a tender moment with him, where he promises to treasure you for the rest of his life, he leaves with you to the safe house. When you're safe, you tell Saeran that his brother is missing. Saeran still has some lingering resentment for him, but he realizes most of it is misplaced and he's hoping to have a relationship with him again. The RFA is informed about Saeran's situation, and they ask him to help in the effort to find his brother. Even though he doesn't want to pursue a life in hacking, he does want to save his brother, so he agrees to do it.

In the Good ending, they have Zen reveal all of the prime minister's misdeeds and that his sons are in trouble, also detailing the life they lived. Later they visit their old home to find evidence about Saeyoung, as he was held there for a few days. Saeran has a bit of an anxiety attack upon entry, so you leave with him so he can cool his head. This is where you give him back the bookmark he had as a child (symbolizing his bond with Saeyoung). He again thanks you for everything, as he never would have even considered this path (leaving Mint Eye, trying to reconnect with his brother) without you.

In the Normal Ending, the broadcast doesn't happen, so in order to protect Saeran, Jumin decides to relocate him and us onto a private island, the only condition to be to catalog the plants there. So Saeran and us end up living on that island for a whole year, Saeran talks about each season he spent with us, as well as the fact that Mint Eye and Seven's organization have disappeared. He even mentions how he made us angry on purpose one time just to see how we'd react. He's willing to spend as many seasons with us, no matter where we live, no matter where we go.

So, final thoughts... his final form considers you an angel, his form of paradise. He treasures you and is curious about you, he sees as you as the light that lit up his dark world. He sees you as an honest being, being true to yourself but also letting him realize the truths about himself.

Ray wants to devote himself to you and make you happy to be with him. Suijin Kang diagnosed him with Borderline Personality Disorder, so therefore that would mean he's heavily attached to you, idolizes you, and wants to do right by you. The problem is he sees himself as less.

Saeran is complicated. He likes you, but he doesn't want to show it. He feels threatened by your interest in him, so he decides to approach you while also keeping himself away; he chooses to do this by abusing you. He wishes to prove again and again that your views are wrong about who he should be, that way you can't threaten him anymore.

Next we get into the After ending, this gives us some more insight on how his final personality regards you. There are so many different bad ends here, I might not go through all of them.

It starts with a meeting within the RFA to discuss plans to find and save Saeyoung from the Prime Minister. Of course V comes in, and Saeran's suspicious of him, warning you not to take in his "perfume." V knocks out everyone in the group including us, but not Saeran. The hypothesis here is that he's resistant to the drug from Mint Eye which is what the gas was made of. Saeran is at a loss of what to do when we're asleep, just wanting us to be okay. When we wake up, he professes his love for us, and says that now that we're okay he can think clearly about what to do. We obviously take top priority to him.

We decide to go to the address V gave him, and it turns out to be the apartment. Saeran scouts it out, and we decide to head in the next morning. Meanwhile, Rika and V get a hold of the chat room, claiming that everything they're doing is to protect Saeran and Saeyoung. So, Saeran makes a separate chat-room for us and Saeyoung to access, realizing Seven's agency is attacking the messenger and also getting a hold of Vanderwood, asking for his help in saving Saeyoung.

Saeran admits that everything and everyone is changing around us, but we are the heart of these changes. We allow Saeran to maintain the control he has over his strong and weak selves. The angry him had a strong heart and obsession, while the gentle him showed him he had understanding and talent. We however awakened his desire for freedom. He loves us, even the parts he cannot see. He'd have lost his way if not for us. We are his faith. Like his brother, he'd sacrifice his life for us.

Later that night he talks to us while we're asleep, admitting that he's afraid going back to his old tactic of hurting others before he himself got hurt, but he has learned how good love is so he doesn't wish to fall back into hatred. When he feels himself getting lost again, he will think of our love. The fact he loves us will always remain true, even when everything else is a misunderstanding. Faith gives him power, and power brings miracles, like us.

Over the other chat-rooms, we learn about V's mom, and Rika wanting a family relationship with the twins again. We even have a discussion on starting a family of our own, Saeran admitting that all he knows is he'll really love us during that time. So we are unable to save Saeyoung, but the two brothers at least meet, Saeyoung is okay with sacrificing himself so Saeran can be free. Saeyoung is then sent to stay with Rika and V. Vanderwood then brings us to them as well, where he was actually supposed to bring Saeran to them. Saeyoung then develops a counter plan to set us both free so Saeran would not have to give up his freedom, however he's caught. Saeran ends up developing a counter plan even before coming to us. Of course once he comes to where we are, Rika has him chained up like when he was young to keep him from going anywhere. Despite his capture, he reassures us he loves us and he's willing to do anything for us. Despite everything he's going through, he'll be alright as long as we're with him. We decide to spend as much time as possible before the MC has to be sent away. Of course, Rika gets furious with him that he isn't how he used to be. How Saeran is trying to be understanding and forgiving of her, she wants him to get angry and lash out at her. Saeran admits the last time he allowed himself to be like that he hurt someone he cared about. He'll never forgive himself for what he did to us. Now he's trying his best to understand and show compassion, instead of hurting before he gets hurt, because he realized it's not the way to go. Rika apologizes for her behavior and agrees to get him ice cream.

When she returns, they decide to let him go, and V tells him the truth about what happened to his mother. Saeran meets us in private, and tells us he has an escape plan prepared for us to escape with Saeyoung, but we realize he's planning on sacrificing himself. We beg him not to leave us, but instead he just tells us that he'll love us even as he dies, and even after he dies. He'll always be watching over us. He meets with V and Rika, where Rika apologizes for what she did to his mother. Saeran admits that his mother was uncontrollable, but he still loved her, and he also admits that he was just a diversion so we could escape with Saeyoung.

Once Saeyoung is free, he works tirelessly to set about saving his brother from his father. We agree to go save Saeran, and take Jumin's driver with us. We meet up with Rika and she apologizes for her behavior towards us as well as Saeran, she only did those horrible things to other people as a means to protect herself. She was actually was jealous of our innocence, and thanks us for not giving up on her, she then begs us for forgiveness. Then we go with her and V to go save Saeran, who is being confronted by his father, all while recalling his love for us. We could save him, or not. If we don't save him we get the normal ending, if we do save him we get the Golden ending.

There's also a couple bad endings, one where you abandon everything to live free with Saeran, leaving Saeyoung to his fate. That one he says all that matters now is that he loves you. There's also one where you have him become a spokesperson for his father, that one he says he's not sure if he's happy, but he does love you. The bad relationship ending has Rika twist things so that it seems we left him to die, and that she will love and protect him from now on. She demands that he no longer speak of us, and he says his heart is no longer with him.

In the normal ending, Rika and V are the ones to save Saeran (as well as Driver Kim). Everything goes back to normal, with the exception that Rika, V and the Prime Minister are in prison. Saeran has decided to pursue a path in life that allows him grow flowers. He once again expresses his love for us and thanks us for allowing him to live a normal life with us. He expresses a desire to create a happy family with us and dedicate his life towards us. He then proposes to us, promising to make us happy everyday.

In the Golden Ending, we're the ones who end up saving Saeran. Saeran expresses his desire to be happy with us, wishing to see us one last time, once that wish is fulfilled, all that will be is pure love for us. When we find Saeran, Rika lets us go save him. We cling onto Saeran and demand he doesn't leave us. "Oh, my stupid reckless love, now I can't die," is his response. The prime minister plans to pin the blame entirely on us if Saeran dies, however we confront him saying he will not get away with what he's doing. We also tell him the only reason he can feel okay with hurting others is because he doesn't feel loved and is all alone. He must've had a really hard past. He then tells us that in order to get what one wants they have to be cruel. Saeran before total blackout embraces his father and expresses pity for him. We rush Saeran to the hostpital, and RFA escapes the hot water they were in, Saeyoung will never forgive his father even if Saeran had. Once he wakes up, he's willing to be a real brother to him. The prime minister then visits us, and thanks us for getting through to him, agreeing to leave us alone so we can live our lives. Everyone then gets their happy ending and then some, Jumin is in Politics, Jaehee is his assistant, Zen is becoming a big time stage actor, Vanderwood returned home, Rika and V are serving time, and Yoosung learning to become a Chef in france. We are with both the Choi twins who thank us for finding them, and now we can live happily together whilst being free.

So, more final thoughts... Saeran in his true form, loves us and idolizes us to an extreme level. Borderline personality disorder is coming into view here. He's placing us up on this pedestal, however unlike the disorder, he's not going to hate us at a moment's notice. He's choosing not to pursue that path.

[Conclusion]

[dilf-in-peril]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by: @grand-magnificent thx :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

163.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

450,140

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Professional wrestling right now, obviously, which for the rest of the questions I pretend is the only thing I write to stay on brand. I also still write the occasional fic for my old fandoms or films you've never heard of, partcipating in exchanges makes you write a lot of random stuff.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Just giving you the ones for Wrestling:

Kayfabe (missing that old man hours, kayfabe breaking cmjf)

Top Guys. In. (cmftr DP)

He Gets Papi (rhea/dom pissfic) - wow that one's got a long tail huh?

Welcome to the BCC (yutamox hole initiation ceremony)

Making Amends (punk asks HHH politely to be allowed back into wwe)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I rarely ever have anything to say in response unless it's a question and I feel silly when I say "thank you for noticing what I tried to put down" but I like to let people know I appreciate their comments, because I very much do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably that CMJF noncon fic which had everyone miserable and worse by the end of it. Also all of the PunkRaven stuff, which never has much of an improvement of the situation in sight.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

idk, I don't write a lot of longfic anyway and I think most of the PWP stuff that's not super messed up ends with people showering together or falling asleep next to each other which is a pretty happy ending as far as sex goes.... oh wait, it's the HHH fic where Punk implicitly returns to WWE for his efforts (I guess here too it is up to the reader whether this is a happy ending or more of a "came back wrong")

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Only once for the underage cmjf fic, and I think it was the same person grand-magnificent mentions ironically. Maybe it helps that the kind of wrestling fans that I can see being haters have been condemned to writing incest fic so they don't have much ground to stand on.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah. All of it. I also actively hate writing it most of the time. I enjoy writing mood, tension, the build and the aftermath but not much of the actual in and out.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Don't think I ever have, no. I never got the appeal of "what if Goku met Superman" and I am clearly not funny enough to pull of something like WWE meets Succession.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah but not Wrestling fandom, it was Dune.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Actually, if you want to do that, hit me up.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

All-time ship is a bit wild if I've only been writing this fandom for a little over a year but it's PunkJoe. This bad boy can fit so much love. And kink. And H/C.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hey now, mind your words.

16. What are your writing strengths?

People have told me it's physical sensations, descriptions that give a visual image even if you've got a bit of the old aphantasia, and discomfort.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Introspection. Writing out feelings. Not using the same words all the fucking time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

idk... don't, unless you speak the language or have a beta that does? I guess now it's easy to just google translate it as a reader but with older literature it always throws me out... am I supposed to just speak latin and french to get what you're having your characters say?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter like almost two decades ago.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I am still very proud of the Smoke and Mirrors PunkRaven fic. I could probably improve it a bit now that I actually have access to the whole feud and learned more about them but it's surprisingly on point just from my gut feelings.

tagging: @doctorworm @glamrocktrash @tache-noire and everyone else I have ever interacted with on ao3 and forgotten about right now

[vwrtlz]

The smell of sauteing mirepoix is fucking heavenly. This shit is about to Pop Off and I don't care that I'm only now finishing the prep work because hand cutting 9 pounds of onions would have taken forever no matter when I started and now I have half an hour before I can throw everything else in the pot and let it simmer till the wee hours of the morning.

Here's the recipe, with the numbering all kinds of fucked up because the original recipe I copied and pasted from was really poorly organized so I edited it and got too lazy to fix the numbers.

In lieu of a long-ass story about how I found this pasta recipe on Instagram (although it is a long-ass post, but hopefully it will be informative, especially for neurodivergent people who hate recipes) and decided it sounded insane enough to try. It takes a LONG TIME TO MAKE. It is EXTREMELY TEDIOUS. It is WELL FUCKING WORTH IT. Get used to me nutting about it, cuz the smell is filling my apartment as I write this and I'M AT HALF MAST just thinking about that first test bite.

For my spoonies in the audience of like zero people, you can save a lot of effort with a food processor and an instant pot but you still have to cut an entire bag of onions small enough to fit in the Food Hole™. It surprisingly doesn't use up *that many* dishes (big bowl for onions, small bowl for the carrots and celery, cutting board for everything, knife, tongs, big pot with a lid for the sauce, wooden spoon, small pot for the pasta, maybe a cheese grater if you buy full wedges) considering how much food you end up with (about a week's worth for one adult), and it's seriously unbelievably good. Imagine the rich savory chunky flavor of French onion soup, but instead of serving it in a hollowed out loaf of bread, it's served inside a million hollow noodles that soak up the sauce and also there's big hunks of beef that have been braised in onion juice for four hours until they literally part ways from the bones like a multistage rocket of flavor jettisoning its fuel tanks as it burns for Onion's Belt (that's a Food Pun).

Anyway. Here goes.

Pasta alla Genovese

• 1 1/2 Lbs of bone-in beef short rib

• 4 Lbs of Onions, Sliced

• 1 Carrot, Diced

• 2 Celery Stalks, Diced

• 2-3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

• 2 Cups of White Wine

• 1 1/2 Tablespoons, Tomato Paste

• 1/2 Pint of Cherry Tomatoes

• 6-8 Fresh Basil Leaves

• 1 Bay leaf

• 1/2 Cup of Pecorino Romano, Grated

• 1/2 Cup of Parmigiano Reggiano, Grated

• 1 Lb of Cut Ziti (or any pasta with a hole in it to soak up sauce, ziti can be kinda hard to find but regular ol' elbow macaroni is amazing)

• 1 BIG FUCKIN POT. (I've made a double batch that nearly filled up a 12qt stock pot, it starts out big and cooks down small)

1. Chop the onions, carrots, and celery as finely as possible. The more surface area we can expose, the more liquid will leach out to cook the beef and the more absurdly delicious the sauce will be when we're done. Using a food processor can save some labor, but it does just kinda Fruit Ninja the vegetables at random so it isn't exactly uniform. A mandolin slicer is also nice, but for fucks sake be careful with your fingers.

2. Cut the cherry tomatoes in half. Or don't and just mash them up against the walls of the pot while you're stirring.

8. Pat the beef dry and season well on all sides with coarse sea salt or kosher salt.

9. In a BIG fuckin pot, preheat on high then add enough olive oil to coat the bottom of the pan, then add the beef. Once it's browned on all sides (give each surface about 1-2 minutes depending on how hot the oil is), remove the beef and put it somewhere else. I just use the cutting board. It won't be out of the pot for long, you just don't want to overcook it.

10. Add the carrots and celery to the pot along with a handful of your onions and sauté the vegetables until they begin to brown.

11. Add the tomato paste and stir it in. Tomato paste is apparently not traditional (sorry to all the people who speak Italian) but it increases the Visual Deliciousness. Then throw the beef back into the pot, stir everything together and once the bottom of the pot starts to get brown again, deglaze the bottom with the white wine. Then let that simmer until it's reduced by about half and starting to thicken.

12. Add a bay leaf, then throw in the enormous heap of onions and the cherry tomatoes. Season with a decent amount of salt, stir everything up, and pack it all down like you're making a delicious sand castle.

12. Let everything steam for a few minutes, then stir the onions up a bit as they collapse and release the juice. Give it a few minutes, then give everything one more stir, set the flame down to low heat and then set a timer for half an hour.

13. Stir every half hour for two hours.

14. Remove the lid and continue simmering and stirring every half hour until the meat fully breaks down (it will eventually separate from the bones by itself as you stir, but don't pull them out yet) and the sauce has thickened. It should look more like sauce and less like soup. If it dries out too much, feed it a little water at a time to keep it from burning. Taste for seasoning and adjust if needed.

15. After 4 total hours of cooking (at minimum, this follows Soup Rules. Longer = More Deliciouser) the sauce is ready to serve. At this point you can either remove the bones or leave them in the sauce to keep soaking all that delicious flavorful marrow. Usually by the time I'm done eating a massive bowl of pasta and rich meaty stew I'm in full Bear Mode and I just wanna sleep for 100 hours, so I'll just leave them in the sauce and fish them out of my bowl when I'm spending the next week eating it.

~The Next Day~

15. Cook the ziti. The original recipe has this whole process that partially cooks the ziti and then you finish cooking it in the sauce, but it's probably not necessary, and while I think the next step is also unnecessary and could probably be done ahead of time, I'm including it for the sake of accuracy.

16. Transfer about a cup of sauce per person to a saucepan and melt some butter into it. Once the sauce is hot, add the cooked (or if partially cooked, 7 ½ minutes instead of 9) pasta to the sauce. If you're doing the weird partial cook method, add some of the starchy pasta water and let it cook for another two minutes. If not, it's fine, you probably won't notice a difference. Just mix it all up until it's all hot, then slowly stir in the grated cheese. The slower you do it, the more thoroughly it will dissolve into the sauce and you'll be less likely to end up with a huge glob of melted cheese on the end of your spoon. Then again, I've never been upset to find a huge glob of melted cheese on the end of my spoon, so do whatever makes you happy.

N+1. Garnish with some basil. Eat.

N+2. Cream your jeans.

N+3. Tell everyone you know about this recipe, safe in the knowledge that your dedication to meticulous onion slicing will ensure that no one will ever try to make it and look at you like you're some sort of demented food witch.

Post-script: This is probably more of a "wintertime" meal, but it is also a very good comfort food any time. I'm no good at handling other people's grief and sadness, but this recipe is basically shorthand for "I will perform tedious manual labor until my hands and arms and back are sore just to create something that might make you smile for a few minutes" and my probably-autistic ass uses it as such. When in doubt, everybody's gotta eat, so it might as well be a home-cooked meal from someone who loves you enough to make it for you. Plus it's a thick, hearty stew-like sauce full of indescribably tender beef that you serve with pasta and melted cheese. It's basically liquid serotonin.