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#I have mixed feelings about that fic honestly
The Soldier Of Death (7)- Recruitment
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Natasha Romanoff X Super Soldier Reader 18+
Summary: Soldat Smerti. The Soldier of Death. You were the perfect weapon: loyal, obedient, and merciless, or so Hydra thought. What happens when these traits are put to the test? Your captivity in the Avenger's tower and the presence of a redhead makes you realise you didn't have to be a monster. The question was though; Did Hydra make you the monster or were you always one?
This fic will contains dark themes. Please read these warnings before starting any of these chapters: graphic descriptions of murder, violence, gore and torture, heavy angst, mental issues.
Please consider these warnings before reading
Word Count: 2.7k
General Masterlist | The Soldier Of Death Masterlist
Chapter Warning: Dark thoughts, anxiety, brief reference to torture
"You wanted to see me?" Natasha says as she strolls into Nick's office, him requesting her presence as soon as possible. The redhead ditched the mission reports she was doing to come and see the Director, having a feeling this was something far more important.
"How are things progressing with our Soldat Smerti?" he asks as his eye is trained on her, his expression blank as he doesn't want to give away his ideas. Natasha also keeps her face stoic as for some reason the name he called you bothered her, did he not see that your name was Y/n on the file she submitted?
"She's open to talking more, still very hesitant and cautious but that's understandable for someone who's been institutionalised for a large amount of time, especially someone who was maltreated," Natasha replies, having spent more time with you over the last couple of weeks, still delivering your food but also trying to get you to talk more, expressing how you weren't going to be hurt here.
"You have taken a liking to her," he says, a little out of nowhere, catching the redhead by surprise. "You would have made your assessment by now but you seem to be waiting for something," her jaw clenches subtly, not liking how somehow this man was always able to have some sort of read on her. "What are you waiting for?"
"She wants to accept our offer," Natasha answers honestly, the man's smile sneaking onto his lips as his own plans were falling into place, the assassin unaware of his ideas. "She's just scared."
"Do you think she could be an Avenger?" He asks and she pauses for a moment, thinking carefully about his question. She could see that same glint in your eyes that she had when she was first rescued from the red room, that hopeful glint that you would be able to be more than what they made you, but at the same time the fear of betrayal hovering at the back of your mind.
"In time, yes," Fury moves to stand from his chair, moving to lean against the front of his desk while Natasha stands in front of him, her arms crossing over her chest as the man ponders for a moment.
"Why are you so sure about her?" Natasha watches the man's curious gaze, his hands resting against the wooden desk as the redhead responds to her boss.
"When Clint didn't take his shot against me in Budapest, he told me that he had this gut feeling about me, that I could be more than what they made me," Fury listens with interest at Natasha's words, remembering the mixed emotions he felt that day when Clint disobeyed his orders but helped saved what would soon become one of his most valuable agents. "I have this same feeling about her," she confesses and the man knows not to take this lightly, the Russian never letting her emotions affect her work, renowned for her professionalism.
The room lingers in silence for a moment, both figures letting the weight of the situation settle before Fury speaks up, a plan having formed in his head.
"Talk to the team about her being potentially recruited, see what they make of it," he says and Natasha is a bit suspicious as to why she was doing it, Fury normally taking the lead on these types of situations.
"What are you going to do?" she asks and he just chuckles at her scepticism.
"I'm going to talk her into accepting our offer," he says, the smile now visible on his lips as he sees the small one tugging at the redhead's lips, "See you soon Romanoff."
***
"He wants to do what?" Steve's tone laced with disbelief as he braces his arms on the kitchen island, having just finished making a smoothie after his morning run.
"He wants us to give her a chance," Natasha answers, the super soldier letting out a sigh before taking a large sip of his drink, the rest of the team gathered in various places around the common room, listening in to the conversation.
They were all up to date about you, brief knowledge of your past and known abilities being sent to them all in your file once you were brought back into the base and put in the glass cell. They knew you were powerful and loyal, so the question was would you be able to betray Hydra and trust them.
"Why should we do that? She's done nothing to prove she won't just try and kill us all," Steve says, still bitter about the pain in his side, multiple ribs having been broken during the last encounter with you, the moment where you almost decapitated him also being added to the list as to why he wasn't fond of you. "She's powerful and dangerous," he says, caution in his tone as he tries to get his point across, "She's also clearly not in control."
"She needs our help," Wanda cuts in, taking a few by surprise as she tended to stay quiet during conversations like this, only speaking once someone asked her opinion. "We can help her, that's what we do right? As Avengers?" Her words settle in a few, Natasha smiling at the brunette woman and nodding her head subtly in appreciation.
"I can't believe I'm going to say this," Tony says, finally speaking up which was unlike his character, normally first to voice his opinion in literally anything. "I agree partly with the old man," he says, earning a disapproving look from Steve at the nickname, "We can't be sure it's safe. Statistically, the chances of her losing control or hurting one of us is extremely high."
"See someone who agrees-" Steve tries to say, being cut off by the billionaire.
"I haven't finished Capsicle," he says, a mocking smile on his lip at the other nickname he called Steve who just glared at the man. "But since when has anything we have done been safe?"
"That's because of you Tony," Steve mutters, "You're the one who always puts us in these situations,"
"Last I recall, you were the one who wanted an ex-hydra brainwashed murderer to join our team, what's different about this one?" Steve's jaw visibly clenches at Tony's description of Bucky, the brown haired man making a valid point though. You were extremely similar to Bucky, if they could help him, why couldn't they help you?
"Bucky's different," he grits out, defending his best friend while everyone else in the room notices the tension rising in the atmosphere. "I know him."
"Knew," corrects Tony, "You knew him, Hydra changed him."
"This isn't about Bucky," Natasha cuts in, not wanting a proper fight to break out between the two, the billionaire lacking the care of stepping too far over the line, Steve being far too defensive about his friend. "Look at the facts, yes she's hydra but how many of us here have a past we want to forget, we want to put behind us? She's no different to some of you when you first joined, so why should we put that against her?"
Everyone listens as Natasha takes control of the room, Clint hiding a smile at his best friend and noticing this was her moment with you. She wasn't taking her shot with you just as he did her.
"As Steve said, she's powerful, we need that if we want to stop Hydra and any other threats."
"Since when did you do the speeches Romanoff," teases Tony, already making his mind up about his stance on your potential recruitment to the team. "How about we have a vote?" he says, using his typical cocky voice to get the other's opinion, "Who thinks Y/n should join?"
In his usual manner, Tony playfully raises his arm, making a show of himself before looking around the room to see who else agrees. Wanda raises her arm up shyly, Natasha doing so more confidently, just not as dramatically as the billionaire, Clint also raising his hand up as he trusts Natasha's gut feeling about you, the rest of those in the room, being Steve, Bruce and Vision, Sam and Thor currently not available, keeping theirs down.
Steve goes to protest, but the sounds of footsteps can be heard, interrupting the conversation.
"Well, I'm glad the vote went in our favour," Fury says as he strides into the room with authority, the room going quiet as they see you standing by his side, face stoic to mask your nerves.
Everything was so loud, the electricity buzzing around the room, the tv playing in the corner, the sounds of fists clenching, bodies tensing, hearts starting to race, it was all too loud. It was overwhelming. Steve's heart in particular started to pound against his rib cage, the memories of your last encounter causing him to be tense and on edge, your gaze meeting his blue for a split second before flickering away.
They think we're a monster. They're scared and they should be.
Taunts the darkness, your mask slipping for a second, showing a brief sense of doubt behind your eyes before your face returns to being stoic, mind fighting the gnawing corruption and forcing it to be silent.
"Meet Y/n, your new teammate," Fury says nonchalantly but also in a tone that leaves no room for argument, a few shocked faces as Natasha said potential teammate, not someone who would be joining instantly.
"Fury..." Steve's voice dies out with the glare sent his way, your eyes fixated on the view out of the window, everything else seeming to fade away.
 The compound overlooked acres and acres of field and forest, the sun gently shining down onto the grass causing it to look vibrant, the simple sight of nature almost a phenomenon to you. Too busy staring out of the window, you miss the small smile that creeps up on Natasha's face, Fury going to have a private word with a few of the team while you slowly made your way towards the windows.
You could feel a few people staring at you, your mind trying to stop the racing thoughts and focus on calming down, not wanting to have some sort of panic attack from all the attention on you. You had to block out the incessant heartbeats, the signs of their fear and tried to focus on the steady one nearby. Only once you turned your head did you realise that it was Natasha who was calm, casually walking up to you as you turned your head back to admire the view.
"It's beautiful," you whisper, not used to having such a clear view of outside your surroundings. You were used to concrete walls surrounding you, or even glass ones in a secure room, not the large windows that practically filled the entire wall, displaying the wonders of the outside world.
"It is," she murmurs back, turning her gaze from you to back outside. The others watched from the distance as you two stood near the window, Natasha talking to you while you made sure to memorise every detail you possibly could about the view. "What made you accept the offer?" she asks, curious as to what Fury must have said to you to get you to finally accept it, her emerald eyes scanning over your relaxing features.
Before you can reply, the sound of Steve's voice becoming louder interrupts the moment, Fury's stare hardening at the super soldier.
"This is going to go wrong, it isn't the right move," he says in warning before grabbing his smoothie and leaving the room, shaking his head as he enters the elevator, "I thought we did things as a team Fury, made decisions together."
"You did and you were outvoted," Fury replies and Steve just scoffs at the idea they were using a random voting method to decide your place on the team. He doesn't bother arguing back, letting the doors shut, Fury dismissing everyone and asking for you to join him in the kitchen, away from everyone.
"Remember our deal," he says, tone serious as he addresses you, "Any indication that you're not being honest with us, and you're straight back in a cell, don't make me have to do that Soldier." You nod in understanding, eyes flickering over to a glass on the table, your reflection staring back at you.
What have you done? This was a trap.
Get us out now. If you don't do it, I will. I won't be merciful.
The darkness claws at your mind, your stare going blank for a second as Fury continues to talk to you. The man notices how you seem to grow distant for a second, blinking before returning your attention towards him.
"I will leave you to adjust to everything," he says, catching the nervousness in your eyes and assuming it was from the new environment, not your broken mind. He knows it will be hard to adjust, but he has faith in the rest of the team to help you, especially after the talk he just gave them.
With Fury gone, you're left to sit alone, basking in your thoughts as Natasha holds back with Wanda, watching how the witch seems to be able to hear some of your thoughts while also keeping an eye on you, reading your body language.
Your leg bounces steadily, fingers gripping the glass a little too tight, her brows furrowing at how anxious you seem, never having showed signs like this when you were with her in the cell.
They're always going to be scared of the Soldat.
They sneer, your fingers loosening around the glass as you can feel it straining, about to shatter, the darkness laughing at the close call of losing control already.
You're going to snap. Lose control. This will all be for nothing because I will get out. I will get out and do what needs to be done.
You remain quiet, not in the position to be able to snap back at the darkness, letting them taunt and tease you, trying to get you to lose your composure. You had to learn how to deal with them, how to keep them under control, otherwise they were right. You would snap.
I can't wait to watch the life drain from their eyes, to watch them suffer.
Your jaw clenches painfully, their words purposely trying to rile you up, to prove Steve right that you were dangerous, but you don't react as Natasha comes to sit next to you. She sees straight through the small smile you send her way, Wanda having quietly told her that your static-like mind was growing louder and you needed some sort of distraction, and decides to inform you of the plan for the rest of the day, Fury having told her before he left.
"You've got a busy day ahead of you," she teases softly, emerald eyes matching her tone as she watches you fight yourself internally, your gaze eventually turning to meet her gentle one. "I'll show you around the compound first, then it's medical tests quickly and then showcasing your skills so we have a better understanding of your abilities, is that alright?"
"Medicals?" you say, hesitation evident in your eyes, Natasha's gaze going to your fingers , how they subconsciously trace your veins where you were most likely tested on before.
You can remember the agony you felt from all the injections they forced into you, the searing pain that felt like it was burning you from the insides, test after test, torture after torture, you didn't want to go through that again.
"We just check your vitals to make sure you're healthy," she explains, still watching how your fingers moved to trace a scar instead, your mind still processing something.
"Would I be alone?"
"I'll be there with you," her tone reassuring, the redhead noticing how you visibly relax, hands dropping to your sides to rest. "Now come on, we've got an entire compound to go around," she says with a playful smile, standing up from the chair and motioning for you to follow her, ready to give you a tour of hopefully your new home. 
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beforeastorm · 1 day
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9-1-1 Bashing Fics: September Update
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Wanted to share an updated graph, now that Tommy has taken the crown, officially, as most bashed 9-1-1 character on AO3 (regardless of public/private works). The chart above is a mix of mains and LIs - either they just have a lot of bashing fics overall, or they've had more written recently.
More under the cut
Here's a chart with well, everyone:
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Yeah that's a mess. How about just love interests?
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Notes:
This is as of September 20.
Someone asked in the tags on a prev post about which 'ships the bashing fics are written for. Here's the thing - the tools I use are good for things like date, kudos, author, where the same info is in the same place pretty consistently. Because the amount of relationship/additional tags varies widely, it all goes a bit wibbly on that part. It usually grabs the first relationship tag pretty well, but whether the 'main' ship is the first listed relationship depends on the author. So I'm not really comfortable making claims. But as a treat, I will share that there is a Maddie bashing fic where the first relationship tag is CC-2224|Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi! Just, thought that was fun.
These are only public works - not any locked fics
As an aside, I keep meaning to run the numbers on the summer of buckfidelity/infideleddie, but honestly (unrepentant) cheating fics are... just such a no for me, every time I start I end up just closing my computer. It may or may not end up happening.
If people have any interest in other 9-1-1 statistics - feel free to drop a line!
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lieutenantfloyd · 3 days
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Rainbow Cereal and Morning Confessions - Cyclone x Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
Summary: Over breakfast, you mention something that you noticed during the previous night, only for Beau to confess something that's been weighing heavily on his mind.
Warnings: Domestic fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of kids/pregnancy, Beau had a bad childhood and is bad with emotions but he's secretly a hopeless romantic.
Authors Note: This was originally a very different fic written with my OC in mind, but I loved this idea so much I couldn't help but rewrite it to post here! Based on some headcanons I posted in January.
Read on AO3
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“You talk in your sleep.” You say between mouthfuls of colorful fruity cereal. 
He eyes you sharply over his newspaper and takes a long swig off steaming black coffee. 
“No, I don’t.” He answers dryly. 
You twirl your spoon and give him a toothy grin. “Yeah, you do.” 
He sends you an eye roll before pushing his plate away and returning to his daily reading. 
Several minutes pass by without another word, but the silence between you is anything but awkward—It somehow never is.
 “What exactly do I talk about?” He asks in a low voice, and it takes all you have not to jump up and kiss him then and there. 
“National secrets, mostly.” You deadpan before quickly shoveling another spoonful of cereal into your mouth in a poorly planned attempt to stop your laughter. 
His eyebrows fly up so fast that you nearly choke. He leans across the table, using thick fingers to wipe away a stray drop of milk that escaped your mouth before leaning back into his previous position and waiting on you to regain your composure. 
“For real though, It was mostly gibberish with the occasional mention of pancakes.” You say nodding towards his plate. 
He sends you an annoyingly soft smile as a bit of color returns to his face. 
Your mind runs over his sleeping mumbles of the previous night, and you make a connection between his somniloquy and the handwritten notes you’d seen on his desk. 
“You never told me you speak French.” 
His handsome features shift into a look you’ve never seen before, and you feel his eyes scrutinize yours as if he’s deeply considering something. 
“Cajun French. It’s what my parents spoke.”
You nod softly, feeling suddenly awkward as you pick up on the unusual tone laced through his deep voice.
In the years between your first meeting and now, you have asked countless people—all of various rank and branch, along with a few civilians—about him. Your inquiries had always turned up the same. Nothing. No wife, no kids, and no known background prior to joining the Navy. He didn’t even have any social media to stalk. Aside from these intimate moments only you share with him, he’s a complete mystery. Practically a ghost.
“Were you and your parents close?” You ask softly.
“No.” He says. The finality feels sharp, but his tone falls flat. His voice feels nearly foreign to your ears.
His eyes fall to yours again, only this time they’re a confusing mix of vulnerable and guarded. You know instantly that something happened—something bad—and you choose not to push the topic any further.
You look down at your bowl, stirring the now soggy cereal around the colorful milk. He always chastises you for eating it, but it’s no different than how you nag at him for surviving off of coffee and pent up anger—a simmering rage so intertwined with him that you’ve often wondered where it stems from. Still seated in front of you, he’s staring off into space. You’re too afraid to ask yourself that question now.
“Do you want kids?” He asks suddenly. “With me, I mean.”
You nearly let out a playful—who else do you think I’d let knock me up?—but he still has that far-away look on his face, so you pause. Swallowing air as you gather your thoughts. 
“I… don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it.” You answer honestly, and he nods. 
“I hadn’t thought about it either. Not until you.” He confesses. 
“Having you in my life will always be the most important thing, but I realized that I’d probably like to be a dad.” He says. “And after I realized that, I also realized that I didn’t have anything from my own childhood to pass on to them.” 
You nod, rendered breathless by the conversation. God, he’d be a good dad. 
“Both my parents were Cajun. I remember that my mother was devoutly Catholic, and she raised me to speak French in a time when that just wasn’t what you did.” He pauses, only to resume after taking a deep breath. “I know now that they were complicated people. I choose not to think about them anymore.” He says in a voice so soft you nearly wonder if your mind made it up.
You nod along, giving him space to speak whatever is on his mind. You don’t let yourself question, aloud or otherwise, why he doesn’t speak of his father. 
“That was a long time ago—and a lot of the language is lost on me now—but I wanted something…positive…to pass on if I ever had a kid.” He confesses. 
You give him a soft smile before taking his hand across the table. 
“You’ve clearly thought a lot about this, and while I haven’t yet, I will.” You say. 
The conversation has taken such an intense turn that you felt shaky as you rose from your seat to clean up the breakfast dishes. 
You fall into a lull of comfortable normalcy, though the bits of his history he revealed hang heavy in your mind as you load the dishwasher. 
“Is there anything in particular you want to pass on? Anything I should learn…just in case?” You ask gently as you wipe your hands dry. It was a simple, genuine question, though by the gentle but shocked look on his face, you might as well have gotten on one knee and asked for his hand in marriage.
“I’ll think about it,” he says with the slightest teasing tone. 
You smile, happy to know nothing is weighing too heavy on him, and things are back to business as usual once again. 
“There’s a lot I want to tell you and more that I should, but..”
“Hey,” you say calmly “there’s no pressure. If you want to wax poetic about your entire life story or you never want to speak about it again, it’s fine. Childhoods are weird, and what matters is who you become after it all.”
He settles back into the chair, staring at you with nothing my pure adoration. Still, something has his shoulders tense, and something tells you that it’s the same thing that has words lying on the tip of your tongue.
“You’re a good man, Beau. And you’d make an amazing father.”
He rises to his seat, folds his newspaper—left over right, top over bottom, always—and drops it on the table. Cherry oak. Pretty, solid wood.
He crosses the short distance between you and kisses your head like the good man and partner he is. Without another word, he drops back into his seat and assumes his previous position, though the tension he always holds in his shoulders gives way just a bit. Sunlight has barely begun to stream in through the large kitchen windows, casting the table you are both seated at in a fresh, golden glow. A comfortable silence stretches between you as you finish the last few bites of your breakfast. He’s leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, though his left hand lays casually against the table. As the minutes pass, your hand absentmindedly brushes against his. He glances up at you over his paper, his eyes filled with warmth as a hint of a smile plays on his lips. 
“I know you hate getting up this early, but I like being able to spend my mornings with you,” he says as he encircles your hand with his own, brushing the pads of his fingertips over your knuckles.  You look up at him, your swelling as his words sink in. Aside from the daily ‘I love you’ s, Beau isn’t someone who ever verbalizes his emotions. Though he has never once held back from showing you just how much he cares. 
“Me too,” you reply. Your hand squeezes his gently, a small gesture that confirms you recognize the gravity of his admission.
The smell of his black coffee lingers in the air as you hear the world outside begin to wake up. You sit happily in each other's presence for several moments longer. The world outside the window feels far away and almost meaningless compared to the cozy safe haven of his kitchen.
Suddenly, you feel his shift and reluctantly pull his hand from yours. You glance briefly at the clock, laughing as the numbers confirm that he has only minutes before he needs to leave for work. He rinses his mug and sets it on a tea towel, leaving it to dry. He swipes his bag off the counter and leans in for a full, proper kiss this time. You smile up at him as he pulls away, knowing that no matter what his day ahead holds, the moments you shared together over breakfast will tide him over until he can come back home to you.
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taglist: @marchingicenotes7 @bayisdying @princessofglitterland @bella-law @callsignaries @oliviah-25 @luckyladycreator2 @shakira-sasha @xoxabs88xox @alexxavicry @madamemelancholysstuff @paola-carter @barbiewritesstuff @dozcan123 @withakindheartx @nyx2021 @teti-menchon0604 @kmc1989
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enden-agolor · 1 day
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I just want you to know that when i read your Jesskas Recovery Ao3, i have had so many reactions, feelings and emotions, you don't know how much my heart Ached in a good/bad way and how long it took me to actually read some of the most heart wrecking chapters, just typing this is already making my stomach ache from the mix of hurt/comfort you absolutely cooked in there, your fanfic really is so great and i can't help wanting to say this to you, ever since i found you on tumblr, i immediately fell inlove with your art and stories about Jess and Lukas, thank you for all the efforts you have dedicated to Jesskas!!!! I love to see more future post and update on the forest deity!!!! Love your work and art!!!
Oh my gosh thank you so much 🙈🩵🩵🩵
I'll be honest, sometimes I forget Recovery even exists and I see an ask like this and it makes me sit back and think about it all over again. Jeez I REALLY need to just finish it already. It's honestly amazing to hear that there's still new readers to the fic, and I am so honored you enjoyed it so much that you came here to send me this wonderful ask. Seriously, comments like this mean a lot to me and are great motivators. I love writing wholesome hurt/comfort for these guys and Recovery was so much fun to write (really really fun🗿) and honestly the fic means a lot to me still considering it was my first fic ever and it kind of was my first step into the fandom that I didn't even know existed at the time. I hope to bring nothing but more of that same feeling as we write The Forest's Blessing! Jesskas hurt/comfort love and healing my beloved I hold you in my hands and cherish you...
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winter-spark · 10 months
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Why I started both rewrites back to back, idk. But now I'm having a hard time focusing on one at a time. Maybe I should start rewriting the Apartments one or try to come up w/ a new one altogether... 🤔
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 2 months
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I always think about how in multiple episodes it's basically canon that Blanche is bi but considers dating women to be more hassle (which is a whole rabbit hole to go down - does she struggle with societal homophobia when she's with women? Has she only been with fellow high maintenance femmes when shes really after a Dorothy type? Has she internalized the idea that her attraction to women isn't 'real'? Her reaction to Clayton adds to these questions). Not to mention how this goes together with her relationships with the girls; making to kiss Rose that one time (and Rose multiple times seeming very aware of Blanche's proclivities), begging Dorothy for 'relief' and being convinced she's attracted to women too.
Yes, anon! It’s really interesting to delve into Blanche’s psyche about all this stuff!
I started writing down my thoughts and ended up with a long ramble -- allow me to place it all under a cut, so I don't clog up anyone's dash, haha.
Personally, I think she has some strong mental blocks when it comes to her sexuality because of the way she was brought up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta approx in the 1930s/1940s — I’m sure I don’t have to detail the kind of casual bigotry she must have seen around her during her formative years! Just look at the story she recounts in S1E13 A Little Romance:
“Now, you have to understand that in those days in the South a lot of things were still taboo. Certain people were not to mix. So Benjamin and I had to meet in secret. Oh, we knew if any of the bigots in town found out about us, there’d be a terrible scandal.”
And all of this because Benjamin was a yankee… can you imagine what ‘the bigots in town’ thought about homosexuality? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Blanche learned to suppress that part of herself very early on. We know she turns to denial when she’s faced with uncomfortable truths and emotions she can’t deal with, so I think she likely just refuses to acknowledge that part of herself most of the time, and it only comes out (pun intended!) when she’s not paying much attention to things, or when there’s something more important going on. See the two examples you point out: when she tries to kiss Rose she’s concerned with not being kissed at midnight, and when she propositions Dorothy she’s, well… she’s desperate to get some, if we can be frank.
When she’s in a more rational state, her reactions tend to be more measured… but not by much. She does advise Rose not to date women (S3E10 The Audit):
“Oh, no, honey, don’t do that! No job is worth having to date women!”
But she’s also really flattered at receiving lots and lots of phone calls from women, after her appearance as a ‘lesbian’ on TV (S7E15 Goodbye, Mr Gordon):
“By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, I sure would be a popular one. Look at this, 20 calls.”
And of course we can’t forget her reaction to finding out that Jean has a crush on Rose in S2E5 Isn’t It Romantic?:
“Jean has the hots for Rose? I don’t believe it, I do not believe it! […] To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That’s ridiculous! […] Now you tell me the truth: if you had to pick between Rose and me, who would you pick? Who?”
All of these are (likely) intended to be jokes about her vanity and her libertine nature (in the same way as Rose’s observations are), but considering a lot of the writers of this show were queer themselves, it wouldn’t seem strange to me if they were intentionally peppered in to suggest that Blanche might be a bisexual in denial. It certainly fits her character!
I haven’t spoken about her reaction to Clayton’s coming out yet, but that’s immensely interesting too, of course. I think Blanche has the same attitude towards homosexuality that I see in a lot of (mostly older) people in my Country nowadays: it’s fine as a general concept, but when it comes to her family (or, God forbid, herself) then the problems come out. See for example what she says about Jean:
“Well, I’ll never understand what Jean doesn’t see in the opposite sex, but if that makes her happy, that’s fine by me!”
Which isn’t a homophobic attitude at all! If anything, if you take her upbringing into account, it’s pretty accepting. But then, when Clayton comes out to her (S4E9 Scared Straight) and tells her he wants to get married (S6E14 Sister Of The Bride), this is what she says:
“Oh, Clayton, please be serious. You're just saying that so I won't set you up with any more women. […] Well, then you're saying it 'cause you're trying to get back at me for something. Clay, I know you too well for this. After all, I know it can't be true. You're my brother. […] Clayton Hollingsworth. You look me in the face and tell me you really are… what you just said you are.”
“I'm having a little trouble putting this all together. Clayton, I just feel like I don't know you anymore.”
“[…] Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?”
“Will you tell me why you want to put yourself and Doug through this? You know how people can be.”
“Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?”
Quite the difference from her attitude towards Jean, wouldn’t you say? I think there’s three elements at play here.
1) When Clayton comes out to Blanche, she feels disoriented because this is life-changing information Clayton has never shared with her before. While her reaction as a whole isn’t ideal, personally I think it’s understandable. Clayton is her baby brother; she’s known him as straight all his life, he’s been married to a woman for years before his divorce, and she recounts an episode from their adolescence when he was on a date with a woman and very clearly implicated having a physical encounter with her. He's done everything in his power to pass as straight until this point in time -- I don't find it strange that Blanche would be shocked at his coming out, especially given her upbringing (and the fact that this is set in the 80s! We can't expect modern sensibilities from the characters!). Once again, her reaction isn't the best (she can't even bring herself to say the word 'gay' at first...), but the shock per se isn't that surprising, imho.
2) Blanche is scared because of societal implications above all. She doesn't necessarily see being queer as something wrong, but she's been taught it's not socially acceptable and acts accordingly. Notice how she's worried about what people are going to say, and she struggles to accept that Clayton wants the whole world to know about his relationship with Doug.
Societal expectations in general are a big theme for Blanche's character, and often drive her development; another big example of this is her attitude towards Rebecca's decision to get artificially inseminated, but it's a bit of a baseline issue for her, I feel. She has this whole thing about her beauty and her (supposed) youth and her attractiveness that has some inherent elements, but it's mostly an issue of how other people perceive her, I think, and her response to her brother's coming out is easy to relate to this theme. I mean, she even says it to Rose in S7E15:
"Well, I don't mind being labeled a lesbian, honey, but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life."
So yeah. I think it's safe to say her main concern is societal disapproval of queerness: she wants to be accepted and celebrated by the people around her, and she thinks that being openly queer will destroy her place in her social circle (and she's worried about the same happening to Clayton too, of course).
3) This is sort of related to point 2, but it felt distinct enough to treat it separately. I think she might have reacted so badly to Clayton's coming out (and especially to his showing up with a partner) because he's open about his sexuality, and she's not ready to face what that means for her. My lovely mutual @\hecatesbroom recently published her latest amazing work the odd one(s) out, on the relationship between Dorothy and her brother Phil and how Phil's open queerness might have impacted Dorothy; I think a similar situation might have occurred between Blanche and Clayton after his coming out.
Blanche has a sort of advantage on Dorothy because of her bisexuality, in the sense that she has 'passing privilege' (I really dislike this concept, but allow me to use it to make a point): it's painfully clear that she loved her late husband with all her heart, and she's obviously attracted to men as well, so she can pretend not to like women without too much of a hassle (whereas, if you believe Dorothy to be a repressed lesbian, her situation is much more complicated).
The issue with this is that this 'advantage' is a double-edged sword: she might have the comfort of being socially acceptable, but she's had to suffocate a big part of herself to obtain that comfort. And so, what happens when Clayton -- her baby brother Clayton, the one who's always been just like her, who's grown up with her same environment and influences -- begins openly living as a gay man? I'm sure the situation must have had a strong impact on her, even if just on a subconscious level; I've always found it curious that she seems to have a harder time accepting Clayton in S6E14 than she does in S4E9 (she even calls his sexuality a phase), and while a part of it may be attributed to the higher social exposure Clayton's commitment to Doug brings, I think this may be a result of her inner conflict, provoked by watching her brother live openly while she's been suppressing a part of herself all her life.
Here I'm assuming she's never acted upon her attraction to women before, but there's some space to believe she has done so and has decided it's too much of a hassle, as you say -- likely because she'd for sure do it in secret, given her fear of societal condemnation. If she has been with women before, and decided to give up on it, I still think she'd be greatly impacted by Clayton's coming out: it means her baby brother is a) braver than she is, and b) going to openly face (and likely suffer because of) the same social issues she's run away from. In this lens, I find it interesting that she cautions him about how people can be, almost as if they've both experienced it.
Whew. Wow, this was a lot more than I'd originally meant to write, haha! Seems you sparked a big train of thought, anon! I think all of the Girls (with the possible exception of Sophia) are really fascinating to analyze with a queer lens, and Blanche is always interesting to me, of course. As a final note, I'd like to point out that she does come around to Clayton's sexuality and his relationship, in the end: as often happens, she just needs the Girls' help to put things back in perspective, understand she's hurting someone she loves, and correct her actions. I'd like to think living with the Girls might lead to her becoming more accepting of herself, too.
#this was so much fun!! you helped me pass the time on about two and a half hours of train rides anon :)#this is... Long lmao. but are we surprised? i always end up talking at length#and this subject is Very interesting to me for obvious reasons so...#there's a lot more that could be said i think. all her homoerotic moments with the girls?#dancing with rose? playing pretend with dorothy?#and all the times sophia jokes about them? 'you couldn't stay in the closet for one more day'?#all fascinating stuff no matter how you look at it#i really think her homophobia stems from societal expectations honestly. she *never* expresses the opinion that being gay is wrong per se#she doesn't think it's unnatural or against god or anything like that. the worst thing she says is that 'phase' comment imho#she thinks it's *socially unacceptable*. which is a whole different thing#and considering blanche's whole thing with being accepted by society i feel like a queer in denial storyline really fits her character#like. think of even just this:#blanche devereaux. known for being libertine and unashamed of her sexuality (to the point of being labelled 'a slut').#often described as 'selfish' and 'self-centered'. focused on satisfying her desires and wishes at all times#this woman? having to deny a part of said desires for her entire life? the contrast is DELICIOUS to me#this big fear of societal disapproval was the angle i went with for my blanche/rose fic! it was set at the end of s2#so this was really all i could explore. but it would have been fun to throw clayton into the mix#i really think seeing him be so open about himself had a profound effect on her#oh look at me rambling in the tags too haha. excellent observations anon! thank you for sending this ask!#if you have any more thoughts i'd love to read them!!#oh and also -- when does blanche say she thinks dorothy's attracted to women?#i don't remember it and i'm *very* curious about it#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#golden wives#ask
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giallos · 5 months
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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Note
Is the fic you're reading named Violation of Article 3? If so, how prominent is the StarOP? It's a massive NOTP for me, but the fic sounds interesting!
Yeah, the whole fic's title is "Violation of Article 3, Sub-section 3A of the Autobot Code"
StarOp mentioned more than a few times and I'm pretty sure it's important to the story (especially considering the structure of the fic), but I don't know if I'd call it prominent or not because I'm not sure I'd call any of the pairings prominent? A lot of them are presented in this almost snapshot style rather than it being written the way we usually see fics (which? Honestly? I love that. The formatting and emojis and usage of various named apps and sites and technology is fun)
Though I do have to say if it's that big of a NOTP of yours I wouldn't suggest reading it, just as I wouldn't suggest anyone chancing something they consider a big NOTP
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starbuck · 2 years
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love having headcanons that are well-supported interpretations of canon relationships and events and i DOUBLE love having headcanons based on like. one offhand line meant as a joke and completely unhinged speculation.
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I can't say whether this is a good thing or not, but TPWP is now officially the top fic in the Ishimondo tag when you look at the number of hits. 🙏🏻
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zillychu · 9 months
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I’ve gotten a WAVE of asks about this AU, so I decided to flesh it out some more and answer some of those questions!
I’ll probably polish this extended summary up at some point and submit it to AO3. But for now, here’s a rundown of my thoughts–please feel free to send more questions! I’ll update this post if I get any more. But if you’re someone who wanted to write fic for it, don’t worry, you don’t need to take my headcanons as gospel. It’s a pretty basic AU honestly lol
Summary:
The portal accident results in a violent explosion that wipes out the whole block, and condemns all of Amity Park. Danny haunts the city for 100 years, before Sam and Tucker find him. 
Setup:
In the 1920’s, 19-year-old Danny went into the incomplete portal on his own, hoping to help out his parents. Ripping the portal open through unnatural means created a huge burst of energy that resulted in a massive explosion. A good portion of the Amity Park population died, many were injured, and the ones on the fringes relocated–Amity was quickly deemed too dangerous due to the excess ectoplasm in the area that attracted ghosts. 
While the disaster was in Amity, the fallout was seen around the globe. Before, natural portals were rare, short-lived, and rarely allowed ghosts to fully slip into our realm (the most severe cases being on par with poltergeists that most people didn’t believe in). Now, natural portals pop open frequently around the world, large enough to allow the entirety of a ghost into the physical plane. They’re more common the closer you get to Amity, but they happen enough elsewhere that this change was something of a small apocalypse before people settled back down and found out how to combat at least some of their new, permanent neighbors. 
Danny is unaware that he’s only half-dead, believing he’s a full ghost. He ends up sticking around Amity, unintentionally making it his haunt. His grief and guilt over causing the death of his loved ones (and many others) makes him isolate and avoid human contact. Though he has, at times, scared nosy people away from the city in a mix of territorial instinct–and to get them to leave before a less friendly ghost finds them. 
Ghosts are much more of an uncontested danger in this AU. Lesser ghosts are practically mindless, and while stronger ghosts are capable of reason, their interests are limited. They’re highly territorial, possessive, and often destructive. Most worrisome is that they also like to snack on the life force of anything alive. No one is sure what dictates a ghost’s propensity to attack or hunt the living for their life force since ghosts don’t exactly experience hunger. At least, not the way we do. If a human is rescued before their life force is fully drained, they can make a full recovery–though humanity has still not yet found what this “life force" is. 
And since the Fentons’ research died along with them, there aren’t many tools available to the public to protect them from ghosts. Most homes have standard ghost shields and some weapons are available on the market, but certified ghost hunters are required to take care of anything more powerful than your average spook. 
Sam and Tucker met in high school, and are now rooming together for college very close to the Amity border. Rent is surprisingly cheap when you’re a stone’s throw away from a condemned area crawling with ghosts. Sam is the one who drags Tucker along with her fascination over finding out more about the city, and its largely mysterious demise. Sam is aware of the danger, but feels ghosts have a place in this world just like everything else, and does exercise caution–like one would while foraging in the woods with a known tiger population. 
What she and Tucker weren’t expecting was to run into a ghost that felt almost human. One that hasn't hurt them, not for lack of trying–while being powerful enough to walk past ghost shields without so much as a flinch. The long white hair is familiar in the whispers of the ectobiologist community, but there’s no way it could be the rumored ghost king Phantom, right?
About Danny:
He has very long hair, claws, and black sclera. His hazmat suit is more torn and ragged, with exposed hands and feet that fade into a burnt black.
His hair tends to float a lot on its own. It can start morphing into fire under duress. 
He does still technically have gloves and boots, they've just charred and melted into his skin towards the ends. He can't take them off in his ghost form. His hands and feet have a leathery texture that's tougher than the rest of his skin.
The white of his hazmat suit is both supposed to look like flames, and also a battered look representing his more violent, explosive death.
Overall, he appears rather listless and sad, with an unnerving air of danger around him–even for a ghost. 
Danny’s “ghost sense” comes out as white smoke.
He does breathe black smoke at times, usually when agitated. 
He's already fought and defeated Pariah Dark by the time Sam and Tucker find him, technically making him the Ghost King. This is heavily speculated by ghost experts, despite there being no real proof beyond a massive battle that scarred Illinois. He has not donned the Ring or the Crown, and captured sentient ghosts are hesitant to answer questions surrounding him. Danny basically has the throne but doesn’t do anything with it, and finds it meaningless enough to routinely forget he has the title. He only fought Pariah because he knew otherwise, humanity would have perished. A lot of ghosts are scared of him because he's so hard to figure out, and he's strong. 
Danny is usually very quiet and speaks softly, because his lungs were damaged in the blaze that half-killed him. He's technically healed since becoming a ghost, so it's more of a compulsion due to the traumatic memory. That, and he’s just… very forlorn and distant, shy around humans who don’t seem to understand how dangerous it is to keep hanging around him.
His memories pre-accident are extremely fuzzy. He knows the very basics of who he was, but specifics have been muffled due to trauma and isolation. He routinely forgets human habits, etiquette, etc. and tends to act more like a full ghost with some odd quirks. 
He does try to scare Sam and Tucker off numerous times. Unfortunately for him, they realized they shouldn't have been able to escape a ghost that strong–but they did, because he let them. 
Sam and Tucker think he's mute at first! He doesn't speak a word to them until several encounters later, when he fumbles his whole scary act and saves them from another ghost. 
He’s still half-ghost, though he doesn’t figure this out until Sam and Tucker come along trying to unravel the mysteries behind the Amity catastrophe. Physically and emotionally, he’s been stuck for 100 years–so his human form is still 19. It’s unclear at this point if he can age normally like a human as long as he stays in human form, or if he’s immortal. 
Danny's family did not turn into ghosts, though he sometimes worries he'll find them in the afterlife as shells of their former selves. He doesn't know if it's better or worse that he's not sure he'd recognize them. 
(Danny also still has some living family. Take a guess.)
Yes, he knows how to Wail. Understandably, he very rarely uses it. You do not want to witness this.
Danny :) is not immune :) from the allure of eating a human's life force :)))
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arcaneauthor · 2 months
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Skz reacting to you kissing them in front of the other members
Warnings: um some kissing ig? Nothing else really
Tags: established relationships, kissing, so much fluff, seungmin being a little menace like always, I think that’s it
A/n: have this while you wait for my long hyunjin one shot! Also I just started writing skz and don’t fully know how to write their personalities yet so pls be kind🙏
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Chan:
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I kinda feel like this would be a normal thing for y’all?
Like you would frequently come by the studio while skz is recording to visit him
And you’d always end up giving him a little hello and goodbye kiss
It was always just a peck but you’d think you two were full on groping each other by the way the members start gagging and groaning
They honestly should be used to it by now but they just can’t help but tease their dad leader
Mainly seungmin
“Ew you like kissing old men?”
But Chan’s used to it by now and just rolls his eyes and focuses back on his work
But he can’t hide the smile on his face
He kinda likes when the members tease him, it really makes them feel like family
Minho:
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Would definitely turn it into a spectacle
Ik he doesn’t normally like skin ship from the other member that much so many people think he wouldn’t like pda from the reader but I think it’d be quite the opposite
Like I feel like he’d be the type that would grab you and pull you in closer when you try to just give him a peck in the dorm
Like we’re talking turning it into a full on make out session
And he’s fully aware the members are there, that’s partly why he does it
He thinks it’s kinda funny to get a reaction out of them
I feel like there’d be a mix array of both groaning an wolf whistling from the others
Either way he’d just throw a middle finger to the members over his shoulder as he smirks into the kiss
Changbin:
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I actually kinda feel like changbin would be a little embarrassed
Like at first he’d kinda forget the other members are there and kinda get into it
And then when he’d hear the reaction from the members he’d pull away with a little blush on his cheeks
Would have that cute little embarrassed smile that he does as he lowers his head a little as he murmurs a “shut up” to the members
(If you’re a stay I feel like you definitely know which smile I’m talking about)
Would totally never admit to anybody that he was blushing
Like the other members maybe Chan would tease him like “aw binnies embarrassed”
And changbin being his loud self would be like “HUH? YOU THINK ID GET EMBARRASSED OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS?”
Like my mind immediately went to that men in colorful pants vlive he did with Chan and Han when he was yelling at chan for calling him out on rapping his line too fast and he was like “YOU THINK I RAPPED FAST CAUSE I WAS NERVOUS?” Lol
Just imagine him saying it like that if you’ve seen that live
Jisung:
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This man would be SHOOK
Like I’m talking about pulling away like he’s been BURNED
Quokka cheeks are flaming red
Why do I almost feel like this man would let out a surprised yelp as if you’ve just attacked him lmao
Looks between you and the members with wide eyes like “did that really just happen?”
unlike with the others I feel like the members wouldn’t make teasing comments towards you guys
They’d just be on the floor ROLLING at Han for getting so flustered
And even though you were the cause of it he’d still hide his face behind you to escape his embarrassment
Hyunjin:
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Feel like he wouldn’t get too into the kiss knowing the others are there
But also would definitely lean into you a bit
For some reason I just feel like hyunjin would be an amazing kisser
I mean have you seen those luscious lips??
Anyways that’s a story for another fic lol I’m getting distracted
like Chan I’d feel like he’d get his sassy eye roll going on when the members made a comment
With how much it seems that hyunjin and seungmin play around with each other seungmin would definitely tease the shit out of him
And hyunjin would give him that signature bombastic side eye
I feel like seungmin would keep it going to the point of hyunjin just eventually standing up to literally pounce on him
Seungmin would just be laughing like a maniac the whole time
Felix:
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I actually feel like Felix wouldn’t be as embarrassed as you’d think
Like Ik he’s a smol bean but down deep I feel like Felix is actually pretty confident
Not in a cocky way but like he’s sure of himself yk?
Like I feel like he’d just smile into it
Turns it into a bit of a longer but still soft and sweet kiss
Just completely ignoring the noises from the members in the background
Like I think he’d just be in his own little world with you
After y’all pull away he just pulls you to sit facing forward on his lap and hugs you from behind
Has THE brightest smile on his face as he does it
Seungmin:
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I kinda feel like seungmin wouldn’t like you giving him pda
Not like to the point of getting angry or anything
But I kinda feel like he’d pull an “ew” face lol
(And I don’t mean this as being bad or anything, I myself don’t really love pda so I get it lol)
But you probably do it to just playfully annoy him
Which is why you’d probably be giggling with the members at him
“I hate you guys” but he’d say it with a smile on his face so you knew he wasn’t actually upset about it
He’d probably give you a long kiss later in his room to make up for it
Jeongin:
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He wouldn’t go as far as to immediately yank away like jisung
But he’d definitely be a shy baby
Ik he looks all grown up and stuff these days but I feel like little baby bread is still under there somewhere lol
Like his eyes would widen mid kiss when he really processes that you’re kissing him in front of everyone
The members wouldn’t so much as tease him like with the others as they would moan and groan about seeing their little maknae doing “adult stuff” lol
Poor thing would definitely turn red, covering his face with his hands as he sunk down
Would honestly be wishing the couch would just swallow him up
Probably wouldn’t make eye contact with you for the rest of the night because he’d just start immediately blushing lol
Also would probably keep his distance cause anytime your hands so much as touched the members would tease him about y’all making sure you weren’t “moving too fast”
End notes: well I officially finished this at 5am lmao. Guess I better head to bed🫡
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xosannie · 22 days
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Head Empty, Mouth Full
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☆Genre: smut 18+ MDNI
☆Pairing: soft bf!Yunho x needy gf!reader
☆Word Count: 1.9k
☆Warnings: pwp, oral (m receiving), praise, hair pulling, cock worship, just a sprinkle of deep throat, soft dom Yunho, cum eating, reader doesn’t orgasm (sorry) (let me know if I missed anything)
☆a/n: Short fic, I just can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to give Yunho head. Yunho makes me feral so I hope you enjoy this as much as I do ^_^
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You hummed softly at the feeling of Yunho‘s long fingers massaging your scalp. Your head rested on his thigh as he sat back against the headboard on your bed. You both enjoy each other's warmth as a movie played on the TV. 
You felt so warm and so safe snuggled up in the covers and nuzzling into Yunho’s lap. Every now and then he would glance down, smiling softly at the sight of your comfortable position. Your hair was so soft, he liked to brush the strands out of your face so he could see your pretty beauty marks better. 
“You’re so pretty,” he said in a low, gruff tone.
“You’re one to talk.”
Yunho chuckles at your reply, cupping your face to stroke your cheek. Yunho’s touch was so gentle, it made your heart swell. He felt so warm, and he smelled so nice. He just came out of the shower a few minutes ago, so you could faintly smell his body wash. It was a mix of musk and soft vanilla. 
You nuzzled your face in his thigh, taking in his scent and holding him closer. You loved his smell, his touch, and his voice. You loved his long fingers that felt good when they ran in your hair, and you loved how they felt thrusting deep inside you.
Woah, where did that come from? 
You try to shake those thoughts away. You and Yunho were having a wholesome time; let’s not ruin it with your degeneracy. Your eyes zeroed in on his crotch that was a mere inches away from your face. 
Oh no… Why were you feeling horny all of a sudden? 
You tried to ignore the small ache that began to grow in between your legs. You shifted around, legs entangling with Yunho’s under the covers. Yunho didn’t think of it much, assuming that you were just trying to get comfortable.
It wasn’t until he felt your hands slowly running up his thigh, gripping the fabric of his sweats, that made him put two and two together. He noticed the shift in your behavior, and a small smirk grew on his lips.
“Is my baby horny?”
You pressed your lips together, and you felt a blush creeping up on your cheeks. Of course, Yunho has always been observant; he can practically read you like a book. You didn’t know why you were feeling shy all of a sudden; it’s not like you both haven’t had sex many times before. You nod slowly, avoiding Yunho’s gaze.
“How did you know?” You ask softly.
“We’ve been dating for years; I can tell when my girlfriend is horny.”
You hear him chuckle darkly, the sound sending straight to your core. He runs his hands down under the cover to rub your arm in a soothing manner.
“What do you want to do about that, huh?”
Your eyes flickered back to the crotch of his sweats, your mouth starting to feel empty. You rolled over on your stomach, resting your weight on your elbows in front of you. You look up at a smirking Yunho.
He knew exactly what you wanted.
His hand cupped your jaw, thumb toying with your bottom lip, pulling it down just to let it snap back in place.
“Wanna suck my dick?” He says softly, his voice deep with desire, and you already started to feel hypnotized by it. 
You nod your head, looking up at Yunho through your lashes. He tsked at you, shaking his head side to side before speaking.
“Use your words, baby.”
"Yes, I want to suck your dick.”
He smiled wide, pushing your hair out of your face and behind your ear.
“Go on then. You have my permission.”
Without a second thought, you pulled the waistband of Yunho’s sweats, pulling them under his balls and admiring his soft dick. 
He watched in admiration as you took his length in your hand, slowly stroking it. It honestly didn’t take long for Yunho to start getting hard; the sight of you looking up at him with his dick in your hand alone was enough to cause a stir at his lower stomach. 
You loved the feeling of Yunho slowly getting more aroused; you took his half-hard cock in your warm mouth. You loved it even more when you felt him grow bigger against your lips. He let out a small huff, never taking his eyes off you. 
“That’s it, my good girl; get me hard.”
You moaned softly at his praise, encouraging you to bob your head slowly up and down his shaft. After you felt he was fully hard, you pulled off, collecting a wad of spit and letting it drip past your lips and down on his length. You use that as lubricant, stroking Yunho a little faster. 
Yunho’s breath started to grow heavier, and his eyes glistened with desire and affection. You just looked so pretty between his legs. He continued to run his hands in your hair, wanting to keep touching you any way he could. 
“You have the prettiest cock,” you whisper, placing a warm kiss on his tip while you looked up at him.
Yunho takes in a breath through his nose, your praise going straight to his dick. His eyes darkened a bit, watching the way your lips pressed against him. 
You trailed kisses from his tip all the way down to the base of his shaft; you stuck your tongue out and licked a long strip back up to the top. Yunho let out a shaky breath as his fingers started to grip at the roots of your hair. 
“You are so perfect like this.”
You whimper softly, licking his tip while you stroke the rest of his shaft. 
“I love your dick Yunho,” you whine.
He moaned at your words, feeling himself throb. You take the head of his length in your mouth, sucking softly while your tongue dances around his slit. Yunho let out a quiet moan, brows furrowing as he spoke in a breathless tone.
“I love when you worship my cock.”
You couldn’t take much more; you needed Yunho to fill your mouth. You slid down, taking him deeper, which caused Yunho to gasp. He wasn’t expecting you to take him in all of a sudden, and he held your hair back to keep it out of your face.
“Fuuckk, there you go.” He breathed out.
You bobbed your head up and down slowly, closing your eyes to enjoy the feeling of his throbbing length sliding against your tongue. You let out moans, subconsciously rocking your hips back and forth with need.
You core ached desperately between your legs. You loved sucking Yunho off so much; it was so hot and intimate. You swear you can get close just by having his dick in your mouth. 
“Mmm, you look so happy with my cock in your mouth,” he moaned, looking down at your blissed face.
You whimper at his words, your hand holding onto what you couldn’t reach. Yunho’s dick was long; you’re still training yourself to fully take him down your throat with ease. 
You pull off to let yourself breathe, stroking him faster as you pant heavily. A string of saliva connected from your lips to his tip, and Yunho groaned at the sight. He reached down to wipe the drool off the side of your mouth. 
You rested your head on his thigh while stroking his cock; he chucked at your behavior, petting your hair while he watched you endearingly. You started to feel yourself get more needy, but you didn’t want to stop pleasing Yunho. Not until he finished. 
“My pretty girl just can’t get enough of my dick, huh?” 
You whimpered, hiding your face in his lap. He gripped the roots of your hair, slowly lifting your head up to look at him. The action was both gentle and rough; it made your pussy throb. 
“Answer me when I talk to you.” 
“Yes! I love your dick. I can never get enough,” you moaned out. 
You loved how Yunho can manage to be both soft and demanding. Hearing his dominant words while he spoke in a gentle tone made you feel dizzy. He groaned, enjoying the look on your face and the sound of your needy voice. 
You take him back in your mouth, sucking while bobbing your head. This time Yunho helped guide you on his cock. He held onto your hair, pushing and pulling your head up and down. His moans grew louder, and so did yours. 
You tried to keep your eyes on Yunho, wanting to see his expression, but your vision kept blurring. Tears spilled out of your eyes from how turned on you were, and Yunho smiled while wiping them away. The sounds of lewd slurping and low moans filled the room. 
You wanted more; you needed more. You pulled off one last time, trying to even out your breath to prepare yourself for what you were going to do next. You saw the way Yunho twitched in your hand, his pretty cock glistening in the dim lighting as it shone with your saliva. 
You kissed his tip one last time before taking him back in your mouth. This time, you steadied your head, taking in a breath through your nose, and let your jaw relax. Yunho watched you intently, curious about what you’re doing.
“What is it, ba-oh my god!”
You take Yunho deeper in your mouth, going all the way down till your nose nuzzled against his pelvis. Yunho let out a loud moan, throwing his head back and tightening his grip in your hair. The feeling of your throat constricting around his length was enough to make him feel closer to release.
“I’m gonna… I’m close.” He whined.
You moaned, pulling off just to do it again. This time Yunho held you down, panting heavily as he moaned your name beautifully. You gripped his sweats tightly, feeling dizzy and, oh, so aroused. You felt him uncontrollably buck his hips up, fucking your face and making you choke. 
You choking is what pushed Yunho off the edge. And with one last whine from him, he came down your throat. 
You pulled off slightly so his hot seed could cover your tongue. You moaned at the taste of him; you swear you almost came right then and there. Once you felt Yunho pull you off by your hair, you looked up at him holding his cum in your mouth. 
Yunho panted heavily, head resting on the headboard after his intense orgasm. He looked down at you, cupping your cheek.
“Let me see,” he huffed. 
You opened your mouth, showing off his semen on your tongue and making sure not to let it spill out. He smiled weakly, patting your cheek.
“Good girl, now swallow.”
You did just that, opening your mouth again to show him that you swallowed every last bit. He cupped your face with both his hands.
“You’re so good to me; come here, sweetheart.”
Your heart swelled with pride at his words, sitting up to straddle his lap. You felt him wrap his long arms around your waist as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. You hum in the kiss, smiling wide.
“I like being your good girl.” You say softly, causing Yunho to chuckle breathlessly.
“That was amazing, baby.”
You giggle, placing a kiss on his nose, making him scrunch it up adorably. You both sat there for a moment, feeling his soft touches on your body as he tried to soothe you. He rubbed your aching jaw, placing kisses down your neck. 
“You really know how to make me feel good.”
“What can I say? It’s a gift.” 
You both laughed softly; you felt his arms tighten his hold around you. He grabbed your chin to pull you in for another slow kiss. 
“Now it’s my turn to make you cum.” 
“Fuck, yes, please,” you groan. 
~
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reiderwriter · 27 days
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ACK I'm so excited that your requests are open again! Um okay, this one feels a bit silly but I'd love a fic where fem!bau!reader is really attracted to Spencer and the way that he smells? (I just KNOW that man smells like cinnamon and a Scholastic Book Fair.) Like, she's been doing a good job hiding her crush from the team, until Spencer catches her eyes dilating at him when he's standing close. And he's an oblivious king, so he's trying to figure out why they were dilated. If it could be race blind like my last request, and from Spencer's POV, that'd be great. (Or split POV, if you'd rather). I really see this as fluff, but if you want to include angst or smut go right on ahead! Thank you for reading my request! Your writing makes my day.
-❤️‍🩹
A/N: This was so fun and silly, and I love writing awkward, puppy love Spencer because sometimes you just have to let yourself become mildly infatuated with a coworker. For the plot. Or at least character development. I hope you like this one!!
Warnings: none.
Masterlist
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You thought you'd settled into work well in your first few weeks as a member of the BAU. You thought you were up to speed about everything going on in the office. There was just one mystery left to solve.
“Where is that smell coming from?” You whispered to yourself, frustratedly sniffing the air for the second day in a row as you attempted to locate the warm, delightful smell that seemed to follow you whenever you were in the office.
“Could be one of Garcia's scented candles. They tend to linger,” JJ said from her corner of the bull pen.
“No, I checked earlier and she said they made her throw those out weeks ago.”
Honestly, it was not knowing that was driving you insane. If you knew what the smell was, you could bottle it, spray it all around yourself, and wrap yourself in it like a little blanket. It somehow reminded you of home and of the public library you'd spent much of your childhood in.
After another day of being able to figure out whoever had bought the scent version of the Scholastic Book Fair mixed with homemade cinnamon buns, you gave up. 12 hours of paperwork, and you were just as excited to get away from the sight of brown folders as ever, and as everyone else in the bureau, evidently.
Grabbing your bag, you got in the line for the elevators alongside your team.
“Ready for the crush?” Derek said, punching Spencer Reid on the arm as they waited ahead of you.
“Ow,” the younger man muttered and you tried to hold your giggles back, rolling your eyes as you watched them in amusement.
Derek’s words were true, though. Every day at home time, the elevators packed up quickly, and being on the middle floor meant that it could often take a while for the elevator to come back to you. You swore it was half the reason Hotch stayed late most nights, just to avoid the crush of the trip home.
“I've been taking the DC public transport since I got this job. You think the elevators are bad. Try 8 am subway on a Monday morning.”
The doors opened, and the three of you climbed into the barely there space of the elevator. With a quick side step, you found yourself against the left wall of the elevator. But to your shock, the scent you'd been searching for for three weeks didn't dissipate as it usually did when you got on the elevator.
It was here. The source of the scent was here.
You tried to stay calm as it grew more potent, tried not to frantically look around searching for whatever man or woman was perfumed in heaven. The doors opened again, and more people squeezed in, and suddenly, you found yourself buried nose-first in whatever sensory heaven existed here on earth.
“Sorry,” you heard a mumble in front of you as Spencer held his hand against the wall above your head, trying to keep a polite enough distance so as not to squish you any further. Your mismatching heights, however, led to your face being just about level with his neck.
You really weren't trying to smell him, but you had to inhale, and each time you did, it was a sensory overload.
It was him. Dear God, it was him.
The proximity and his scent really weren't helping your brain stop short circuiting in that moment, and you had to remind yourself after a minute or two or three that you were staring.
Though evidently Spencer had already noticed, and was looking at you with some concern.
“Are you okay? It's pretty tight in here, but I can try and move back if you're uncomfortable.”
“No! No, it's okay,” you did your best not to shout the words out, suddenly wanting his smell and his body close forever.
You hadn't been looking before, but like a freight train at maximum speed, the weight of his attractiveness hit you all at once. There was a slight stubble peppering his jaw, his hair hanging slightly loose, eyes big, and brown, and beautiful. He was tall, and you knew he was strong from watching him manhandle unsubs each week.
To put it blankly, you spiralled. Hard. Straight into infatuation and attraction, and you felt your head growing light with the tipsy feeling of a girlish crush.
You were fucked.
Spencer was concerned about you for the next week.
For starters, he knew that most new hires pushed themselves to the extreme over the first month and ended up quickly burnt out, mentally and physically. He may not have the best physical stamina, but he knew the lengths he had to go to to maintain his mental and physical wellness while working the job.
Which was why he started looking out for you a bit more. Every time he looked at you, you were staring off into space, somewhere just past him, or around him, face glazed over.
He wondered if you had a fever a few times, subtly touching your forehead - wiping away some sweat or a strand of hair - to feel you, and you did always feel hot.
You insisted you were fine though. But the nervous panic, and the constant insistence made him wary enough to pull you aside one day and ask you straight to your face.
“Do you need something?” He said, having unassumingly lured you off to the meeting room without arousing suspicions.
“What? What do you mean?” You said, instantly defensive. You'd hoped you hadn't been as creepy as you knew you had and that he hadn't caught on to your stolen glances and sudden close proximity.
You really couldn't help it. The man smelt too fucking good.
“If you're feeling sick, no one is going to think any less of you for taking a half day, you know.”
His voice was so gentle, you almost didn't die from sheer embarrassment. Almost.
“Oh! Oh, oh no, I'm fine, I'm totally healthy. As a cow!”
“A cow?”
“Yes, I'm as healthy as your average farm animal. Can I go back to work?”
You made to leave, but he grabbed your wrist gently as you brushed past him, and it was like sparks travelled up your arm and pierced your heart directly.
“Spencer!?” you squeaked.
“Your heart rate is elevated, and you feel hot and clammy,” he said, which was exactly the kind of compliment you were aiming to receive from men you were falling for. “You should go see a doctor and then get some rest.”
“No, Spencer, that's not-”
“Everyone pushes themselves in these first few weeks. I had to take a week off after two days in the field from the weight of holding a gun up for so long, which is more embarrassing than it sounds, and Derek-”
“What cologne do you use?” you snapped, desperately hoping to both shut him up and also detangle yourself from this situation with at least one win under your belt. If you found out whatever the smell was he used, you could buy it, grow accustomed to it, and grow out of whatever phase you were going through before you out your job in jeopardy.
“What?”
“You smell… really good. I was wondering what cologne it is.”
“I don't… I don't really use cologne.”
You baulked, unable to stop your face from dropping as your dreams of detaching yourself from your little crush on Spencer Reid faded before your very eyes.
“Shower gel? Shampoo maybe?”
“They're both unscented.”
“So you just… you just smell like that naturally?”
It was his turn to flush then, though the panic never left your head fully.
“Sorry, is it… distracting.”
“Yes,” you whispered, but with such an exhausted exhale, it sounded like a dreamt sigh. You wanted to kick yourself. You wanted to open his jacket, step inside, bury your face in his chest, and fall asleep.
“I see.”
“Mhmm.”
A minute passed in awkward silence, and you wanted to kick yourself for blurting everything out. Quickly turning to leave again, you wished so dearly to erase the last five minutes of your life, sending up enough hail mary’s to absolve you of any sin.
“Lavender. And sometimes patchouli,” he called from behind you as you took your first steps to the door.
“Hmm?” you said, turning back around against your better judgment.
“What?”
“That's what you smell like,” he explained, hands suddenly very preoccupied with his jacket buttons. “I'm not great with scents, but you also smell… nice. Sorry, that was weird.”
“No, not at-”
“You know, the major histocompatibility complex genes are important for the immune system and appear to play a role in sexual attraction via body odour. Studies have shown that body odour is strongly connected with attraction in heterosexual females.”
“Oh. I didn't know that…”
“Do you want to grab dinner with me?”
The words almost knocked you back into the door, as sudden as they were. Had he just asked you on a date? Or was it a friendly coworker thing? A friendly coworker thing where he acknowledged your attraction to his scent and then invited you out on a date.
“Yes?”
“Yes?”
“Yes. Yes, I would like to get dinner with you.”
He did his best to suppress the smile, and you tried hard as well, though neither of you succeeded.
“Great, perfect,” he said, circling you as he made his way to the door, his eyes always turned to you no matter what. He likely regretted that as he bumped into first the edge of a table, then a chair, and then hitting the door with his back, but in your state of puppy love, you didn't care.
“It's a date,” he said, opening the door and walking away, cheeks flushed with heat.
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llycaons · 2 years
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hate it when I really like this cool and interesting work and I go see what else the author has written and it’s the worst possible things anyone could choose to write. im sitting there like
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rafeandonlyrafe · 7 months
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pink roses
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words: 3.1k
warnings: 18+ only!!, smut, female receiving oral, CHEATING!, ex!rafe, mentions of violence and drinking, its valentines day during the second part of the fic :)
you moved on. thats what you tell everyone. absolutely over rafe, even got a new boyfriend. 
you definitely don’t think of your ex every time you kiss him or hold his hand. definitely don’t think of rafe when your new man is between your legs.
“hey baby.” darren says, giving you a tight hug after you open the door, not cradling your body against his like rafe used to.
“hi.” you smile, letting him into your house. “just give me like five minutes to touch up my makeup then we can head up.” “okay.” darren nods. you frown as you walk up the stairs, knowing its not the response rafe would have given you. he would have said that you already look perfect, not needing to touch anything up (though you would absolutely still reapply blush and swipe on some more lipgloss).
you don’t even feel like going to a party tonight, only going because darren has some friends that he wants you to meet. truthfully, you know you’re using darren. you know that he’s just a fling to get over rafe, and you feel guilty when he clearly values you and wants to show you off.
“ready!” you call as your heels click down the stairs.
“perfect.” darren smiles, placing his hand on the small of your back as he guides you out to his car, having to tug your dress down to not reveal yourself as you lower into the passenger side of his sedan.
“where is this party at anyways?” you ask, inspecting your fingernails, freshly painted in a lightly shimmery pink.
“topper thorton.” darren says. he must see your face go pale. “why, do you know him?”
“uh, yeah.” you pick at a nonexistent thread on your skirt. “he's my exes friend. you know, rafe. the one everyone warned you about.”
you chose to rebound with darren because he had just moved to town, wouldn't be scared into silence from rafes reputation alone.
“ah, damn.” darren says, but doesn't ask if you still want to attend. you know you're going to see rafe, and you're honestly not sure if you can see him touching other girls.
you are quiet until you get to the party, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth as darren leads you inside, the music bounding out of the speakers, so loud it almost shakes the house.
“y/n!” toppers eyes are wide when he spots you. “didn't expect to see you here.”
“yeah…” you suddenly feel awkward and insecure in your dress, tugging the hem lower.
“rafe is um… rafe is on the patio. i would avoid him if i were you. he's… he's not the same since the breakup.” topper nods to you before walking away. 
“you said this rafe guy broke up with you, right?” darren asks.
“yeah.” you nod, feeling like you can't form any other word.
“then why does he care? who cares if he sees you? im not letting some random guy stop me from going where i want with my girlfriend, come on.” darren grabs your hand, tugging you towards the back of the house.
“darren, no!” you shout, but he's moving too quickly, the music too loud for him to hear you yell, and before you can grind your feet to a halt, you're out on the patio. your eyes flicker around, trying to pick the familiar face out of the crowd when you suddenly see rafe, his eyes already bouring into you.
“come on, let's dance baby!” darren says, your gaze fixed on rafe as darren moves behind you, grinding into your bum. you can't move, stuck in the power of his blue eyes.
“do you not like this song?” darren asks, having to shout into your ear as someone turns the music up impossibly louder.
“i told you, my ex.” you say, line of sight being broken by dancing bodies, finally allowing you to take a deep breath and move, turning to face darren.
“what? you not over him or something?” darren asks, his expression suddenly turning a mix of anger and disappointment.
“no!” you echo what you tell everyone. “no, it's just the first time ive seen him since the break up. it's just… weird.”
“okay.” darren says, but you can tell by his tone that he's going to bring it up later, and it's not really the end of the conversation, just for now.
“shit, there's my boys!” darren's expression quickly changes. you watch as he daps up two guys, who he then introduces to you, but you don't even hear their names, barely able to nod and smile, putting on a pretty face while your mind is other where. you know that's all you're truly there for anyways, a nice grin and tight dress for darren to flaunt.
he leads you back inside and away from the loud speakers so he can sit and chat with his friends. your eyes continually scan the room and the entryways, waiting to see those blue eyes and sandy blond hair.
“darren, baby, im gonna go use the bathroom.” you tell him as he takes a sip of his beer. you just need to move, feeling like a sitting duck just waiting for a predator to strike.
“alright.” darren literally waves you off, too enticed by the conversation his friend, who you thinks name is matt, or maybe mark. miles? 
you stand up, having memorized the layout of toppers house from parties with rafe. you know the most private bathroom is upstairs and inside of one of the tucked away guest room, a guest room rafe often took you to. 
you push past people to get to the stairs, dodging couples making out on the steps as you make your way up. you sigh when you finally get the guest bedroom door closed behind you, glad to be alone and somewhere somewhat quiet compared to the sensory overload of the rest of the house. 
you turn towards the room, ready to head towards the bathroom door when you see a slight movement in the shadow. you reach behind you for the light switch, feeling across the wall, sure that your eyes are just playing tricks on you, but as the ceiling light illuminates the room, you come face to face with the one man you didn't want to see.
“rafe, i-” you cut yourself off. you don't know what to say, have no excuse. a small part of you knows you said you had to use the bathroom just to get back into this room, look at the bed that rafe took you on so many times.
“he's not as tall as me.” rafe says. “you hate guys with that color hair.”
you urge your hand to reach for the doorknob and flee, but rafes deep voice keeps you captive.
“i would never ignore you like he does in favor of stupid fucking friends.” damn, so rafe was watching, and you couldnt even tell, probably too far in your own head.
“and im sure he doesn't fuck you like i do.” rafe steps towards you, having to round the bed from where he was leaning against the corner of the wall. “tell me y/n… does he make you cum as much as i do?”
“did.” you manage to bite out. “in case you forgot, you broke up with me. not the other way around.”
“i didn't expect you to settle for such trash.” rafe is now only feet away. he smirks as his eyes glide down your body and tight dress before landing back on your face. “you look stressed, baby. he's not giving it as good as me at all.”
rafe sighs like he truly cares about the kind of service you're getting in the bedroom.
“he's fine.” you argue back, the best defense you can manage. rafe was always able to tell when you were lying.
“so if i offer to eat you out right now, you'd say no? don't want my tongue, baby?”
“this isn’t fair, rafe.” you say bluntly. “you can’t break up with me only to tease me like this.” “get on the bed, underwear off.” rafe simply commands. your body moves before your mind does, still trained to his instructions. and once your underwear is on the floor, you figure theres no point in stopping now.
you do think briefly to darren, chatting innocently away with his friends downstairs, not a clue that your ex is about to go down on you, but when rafe lays between your thighs, your thoughts couldn’t be farther from darren.
“the most gorgeous pussy i’ve ever seen.” rafe says, pushing your dress further up your body. “missed her so much.”
rafe leans forward, tongue instantly zeroing in on your clit, switching between rubbing with the tip of his tongue and lapping over it in broad strokes.
“oh fuck!” you moan out, head pressing back into the pillow, sure to ruin your perfect hair.
“little bit louder and your new boyfriend might hear you.” rafe smirks before letting his tongue explore your cunt, even slurping at your juices.
“shut up, you’re so fucking unfair.” you groan, but reach down to grip his hair and push his face further into your pussy.
rafe shows you just how skilled he is with his mouth. there really is no comparison to darren, who you swear things your left lip is your clit.
rafe focuses in on your entrance, tongue sweeping in tighter and tighter circles until it juts forward into your hole, taking a moment to appreciate being back inside your tight heat before he begins to thrust his tongue, his thumb moving to rub your clit.
“tell me i’m better.” rafe says, barely pulling away to speak the words. “no.” you shake your head. you shouldn’t give rafe the satisfaction of admitting it, as if your moans aren’t evident enough.
“tell me or i’ll stop right now. won’t make you cum.” 
“fine.” you close your eyes, as if somehow not seeing rafe makes it less like you’re cheating. “you’re better than him. just, please.” 
you’re not above begging. you wish you could say that you were better than that, better than getting into bed with your ex the first time you see him.
“there’s my good girl.” rafe purrs out in his oh so seductive voice. he resumes movement of his thumb, rubbing you just the way you like, knowing it brings you to the edge quickly as his tongue continues to thrust inside of you.
“oh, oh my god! rafe!” you shout his name as his thumb quickens until it’s all too much, a flood of wetness gushing out as your back arches off the bed, hands gripping at the duvet. rafe continues his movements as your high works its way through your body until the snap of sensitivity hits and you have to shove his hand away.
you blink your eyes open, vision slightly blurry as you look down at rafe between your legs, face going pale when you realize that you didn’t just cum, but squirted, leaving rafes face dripping.
“holy shit, it really has been a long time since you came if you’re squirting like that.” rafe chuckles, wiping his chin with the back of his hand, only for his tongue to dart out and lick the juices off his skin.
“you-you-” realization comes flooding back of what you just did. you may know that you’re using darren, but you never intended it to go as far as to cheat on him.
“i only did what you wanted me too. even if you couldn’t admit it to yourself.” rafe moves up to a kneeling position, his cock clearly straining against his pants. “want me to fuck you now baby? i know you’ve missed this big dick.”
“no!” you snap your thighs together, mind much clearer now that you’ve gotten your orgasm. “no, i-i have a boyfriend!”
“go downstairs and break up with him and then come back up here and let me hit.” rafe says, tapping your hip to get you moving. 
“i am going downstairs.” you say, swinging your legs off the bed. “but it’s because this was a mistake.” you grab your underwear off the floor and put them back on before attempting to readjust your dress and hair to acceptable levels, well aware that darren must be wondering where you are by now, having been gone for so long.
“baby-” rafe tries to stop you, but you’re already out the door. 
--
“oh baby, this is so sweet!” you plaster on a fake smile. you were easily able to explain to darren what happened at the party a few weeks ago. you got caught up talking with some old friends and the time slipped away from you. not completely a lie.
you’ve avoided being out in public at all for fear of seeing rafe. you’ve even manage to banish most thoughts of him. most… except for when he forces his way back into your mind when your fingers are in between your legs, finishing yourself off after darren had gone to sleep next to you.
“a beautiful red rose for my valentine.” darren gives you a kiss on the cheek as you smile at the rose. it’s a nice gesture, it is valentines day after all and he is your boyfriend, but you just don’t feel in the spirit of the holiday, mostly because you aren’t in love and are just waiting for the right moment to break up.
you pull out your phone, opening up your instagram and snapping a photo of you holding the red rose, quickly uploading it to your story.
“what else do you have planned for today?” you ask darren, but his face quickly grows pale and you realize he doesn’t have anything else planned, thinking a singular red rose was all he needed to please you.
“we could go to the park later.” he recovers quickly. “have a nice picnic.”
“okay, sounds good.” you nod. “i’m gonna go put this in water.”
you flee quickly to the kitchen, leaving your boyfriend sat in your living room. your parents are rarely home, spending all of their time traveling when your dad isn’t working out business deals, and it feels like darren has practically moved in since they’re rarely home, and it’s only causing a bigger divide in your relationship.
you get the rose put in a vase with some fresh water when your phone vibrates from your pocket. you grab it out, eyes widening when you see that rafe has replied to your story.
doesn’t he know you like pink roses?
the doorbell rings, making you drop your phone with a loud clatter onto the countertop.
“i’ll get it!” darren calls out before you can process the sound, suddenly rushing after him as he opens the door to reveal rafe standing on your doorstep, not just one pink rose but an entire armful of them, the largest and most beautiful bouquet you’ve ever seen.
“who the fuck are you?” darren asks, but rafe looks right past him to where you’re stuck frozen in the foyer.
“i’m giving y/n the valentines day flowers that she deserves.” rafe pushes past darren with ease, transferring the large bouquet into your arms.
“and you’re getting the fuck out.” rafe turns to darren, now blocking him from moving back into the house.
“fuck if i am.” darren laughs. “and she’s my girlfriend.”
“she’s only your girlfriend because i broke up with her knowing she was too good for me and needed to find someone better, but instead she settled for you.” rafe turns his head to look at you, his voice softening. “it’s okay, sweetheart. i don’t blame you.” 
“lets let y/n decide.” darren says, rightly deciding not to fight rafe, being smart for once in his life knowing rafe would easily annihilate him, but wrongly thinking that you would choose him.
“get out.” you say, eyes moving to darren. “get out, darren. i don’t even like red roses.”
“baby-” darren begins to argue, but then rafe surges forward, shoving him out of the door before slamming it in his face.
rafe takes a deep breath before turning to you, looking so small with the roses drowning in your arms.
“i’ve missed you.” rafe moves towards you, his hands cradling your face and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “i’m sorry for breaking up with you, princess. thought you could do better.”
“i’m just glad you’re back.” you lean forward, rafe quickly understanding that you’re asking for more kisses as his lips glide over yours, familiar and warm.
“let me carry these for you.” rafe scoops the bouquet out of your arms. “and then you can go ahead and get ready for all the things i have planned for today while i gather your exes shit and make sure he knows to never come back here again.” you giggle and follow rafe, knowing you should feel bad for dragging darren into the mess that is rafe, but you’re just happy that he served as a distraction before rafe came back.
rafe walks up to your room, glad to be back in your house. he realized seeing you with a new guy how much of a mistake he made and knew it had to be corrected.
rafe sets the roses on the bench at the base of your bed before frowning at the bed itself, your side clearly neatly made while the side that used to belong to darren is a mess still, showing a complete disrespect for how you like to keep your belongings. 
“i’m trying to decide between fucking you on the sheets he used to sleep in or taking them outside and burning them.” rafe says, placing his hands on his hips.
“maybe…” you wrap your arm around rafes waist as you bury your head into his back. “we add buying new bedding to your valentines day plans?”
rafe turns around to take you into his arms, eyes soft as he looks down at you. “you’re always gonna be my valentine from now on, baby. i love you.”
you shift your weight to your toes as you lean up to kiss rafe, his mouth slowly moving over yours as you make out, feeling him swell against your lower stomach.
“i don’t think i can wait until after we buy new bedding, baby.” rafe groans.
“well… i do need to take a shower before we go.” you smirk, walking backwards towards your attached bathroom, slowly unbuttoning your pajama shirt.
“and you know how much i love to conserve water.” rafe chuckles, following you as your clothes hit the floor.
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