#I just hope that gets resolved without too much heartbreak

[teafiend]

[fictionalsimp09]

Crumbling - Jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - 289 words - AO3

Regulus has spent his entire life building walls around himself, keeping everyone out to protect himself. Save him from the heartbreak of inevitably being screwed over in some way. But it’s getting harder and harder to pretend that James doesn’t have an effect on him. When he makes Regulus laugh after a bad day, and allows him to vent about it. Or when he actually pays attention to what he says when ranting about his favourite things. The way he gives him his jumper when Regulus shivers without him even having to ask. 

James is kind and respectful and a bit of an arse at times, but that’s what makes him so interesting. This happy, smiling boy, that shines brighter than the sun itself, is flawed. James isn’t perfect, and Regulus finds comfort in the fact that even the most seemingly put together people are human too. 

Sitting in the Astronomy tower, listening to James talk about his Quidditch practice today, gesturing widely as he explains, Regulus feels his resolve start to come crumbling down. 

“What?” James asks, tilting his head slightly as he smiles at the way Regulus is very obviously staring at him. 

“I’m just…thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“How much I want to kiss you right now.” 

James’ breath hitches, and whispers, “Do you really mean that?” 

Regulus swallows his fear. “Yes.” 

Beaming, he moves closer to him, a calloused hand cradling Regulus’ cheek. They move as one, closing the gap between them until their lips brush together. Maybe he can finally let his guard down with this man, who loves people with such passion. Someone Regulus is beginning to trust not to hurt him. He just hopes his falling walls don’t crush him on the way down. 

[darkenedroses-world]

Rekindle The Fire — Fitz x Reader

f!reader, exes to lovers, tender moments, emotional intimacy, soft!Fitz, raw emotions, love confessions, second chances, request🦋

The party was buzzing, a low hum of music and laughter threading through the dimly lit room. You hadn’t planned on coming—parties like this had never been your scene—but your friends had insisted, and here you were, clutching a drink like it was the only thing tethering you to the ground. And then you saw him.

Cameron.

It had been months since the breakup, yet seeing him was like stepping into a time machine. His laugh reached your ears before your eyes could fully process him, that familiar, carefree grin spreading across his face as he talked to a group of friends. He hadn’t changed—same easy posture, same warm energy that had drawn you in the first time. Your stomach twisted as memories came flooding back, a mix of joy and heartbreak. He caught your gaze across the room, and for a moment, everything seemed to still. His smile faltered, replaced by something softer, more hesitant. He started walking toward you, weaving through the crowd with that signature confidence that made him so damn magnetic. “Y/N,” he said, his voice low but tinged with surprise. “Didn’t expect to see you here.” “Same,” you replied, your throat dry. You forced a smile, hoping it didn’t look as shaky as it felt. “How’ve you been?” “Good. Busy.” He rubbed the back of his neck, a small, nervous gesture that seemed at odds with the confident man everyone else saw.

“You?” “Same,” you said, taking a sip of your drink to avoid elaborating. An awkward silence settled between you, and for a moment, you wondered if this was a mistake. But then he leaned closer, lowering his voice so only you could hear. “I’ve missed you.” The words hung in the air between you. I’ve missed you. Three simple words, yet they carried so much weight. Your grip tightened on your drink as you looked away, afraid that if you met his gaze for too long, you’d crack. “Cameron,” you began, your voice trembling despite your best efforts. “You don’t get to say that after everything.” He flinched, his confident mask slipping for just a second. “I know. I know I fucked up, Y/N. I didn’t mean to drop that on you, but it’s true.” You set your drink down on a nearby table, needing your hands free to keep from shaking. “Why now? Why not… months ago?” He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Because I’m an idiot. I thought I was doing the right thing, letting you go. I thought it’d be better for you if I…” He trailed off, frustration flashing in his eyes. “But it wasn’t better. For either of us.”

You blinked rapidly, trying to keep your emotions at bay. “You don’t get to do this, Cam. You don’t get to walk back into my life and—” “Y/N, please,” he interrupted, his voice cracking. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just… I needed to tell you that I still love you. I never stopped.” The room felt like it was closing in, the weight of his confession pressing down on you. You wanted to be angry, to push him away and tell him he didn’t deserve another chance. But the truth was, you missed him too. Every laugh, every late-night conversation, every tender moment—it was all still there, buried beneath the pain. “Why should I believe you?” you whispered, tears brimming in your eyes. “What’s different now?” “Because I’m actually here,” he said, stepping closer, his voice steady despite the desperation in his eyes. “Because I’m done pretending I can live without you. I’m not perfect, Y/N, but I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worth it. If you let me.” Your resolve faltered, the vulnerability in his voice hitting you like a tidal wave.

Before you could think better of it, you closed the distance between you, your hand grabbing the front of his shirt.

“Don’t make me regret this,” you murmured, your voice trembling as you pulled him down into a kiss. He froze for a heartbeat before his hands found your waist, pulling you closer. The kiss was intense, all the pent-up longing and emotion pouring out in a rush. His lips moved against yours with a mix of urgency and tenderness, like he was afraid this moment would slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough. When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing hard, your foreheads pressed together. “Upstairs,” he whispered, his voice low and rough. “Please.” You nodded, letting him take your hand and lead you through the crowd. Your heart pounded as he guided you to an empty room, the door clicking shut behind you. The moment you were alone, he was on you again, his lips finding yours as his hands roamed your body. You melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as he pressed you against the wall. “I missed this,” he murmured against your lips, his voice filled with raw emotion. “Missed you.” “Then don’t stop,” you whispered, pulling him closer.

He didn’t need any more encouragement. His hands slipped under your shirt, his touch searing against your skin as he lifted it over your head. You followed suit, tugging at his hoodie until it joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor. The next moments were a blur of heat and need, his lips trailing down your neck as his hands explored every inch of you. He backed you toward the bed, lowering you onto the mattress with a reverence that made your chest ache. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his gaze locked on yours as he leaned down to kiss you again. Your hands found his belt, fumbling with the buckle as he chuckled softly, his lips brushing against your ear. “Someone’s eager.” “Shut up,” you shot back, though the smile tugging at your lips betrayed your frustration. He helped you, discarding the rest of his clothes before sliding yours off with the same care. When he finally settled over you, his weight grounding you, you felt a sense of rightness you hadn’t felt in months. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice soft as he searched your eyes.

“Yes,” you whispered, your hands gripping his shoulders. “I’m sure.” His movements were slow at first, every touch and kiss filled with unspoken promises. But as the tension built between you, the pace quickened, his control slipping as he gave in to the passion simmering beneath the surface. ��Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, his forehead resting against yours as his thrusts grew more desperate. “You feel so good. Like you were made for me.” Your hands tangled in his hair, your nails digging into his scalp as you pulled him down for another kiss. “Don’t stop,” you gasped against his lips. “Please, Cam.” He didn’t. If anything, your plea spurred him on, but not just with raw intensity—there was tenderness in the way his hands cupped your face, his lips brushing yours between each deep, deliberate thrust. His gaze never left yours, even as his movements grew more urgent, more desperate. “I’ve missed everything about you,” he whispered, his voice ragged and filled with emotion. “The way you feel, the way you look at me… the way you love me.”

His words struck something deep within you, your chest tightening with emotion as you clung to him. His forehead pressed against yours, his breath warm and uneven as he poured everything he had into each movement, each touch. The tension inside you coiled tighter and tighter, the overwhelming mix of love and desire threatening to consume you. When the moment finally shattered, your body trembled beneath him, a broken cry slipping from your lips as waves of pleasure rippled through you. Tears stung your eyes, not just from the intensity but from the sheer depth of the connection you felt with him in that moment. Cameron held you close, his name spilling from your lips like a prayer. He wasn’t far behind, his movements faltering as he buried himself as deep as he could, his body shuddering as he let go. His forehead fell to your shoulder, his lips pressing soft, reverent kisses along your collarbone as he murmured your name like it was the only word that mattered. “God,” he rasped, his voice breaking. “You’re everything. You always have been.”

You reached up, your fingers threading through his hair as your other hand rested on his back, holding him close as he softened against you. The intimacy lingered in the air like a warm glow, neither of you moving for fear of breaking the fragile perfection of the moment. Cameron’s lips brushed over your temple, your cheek, before finding yours in a kiss so tender it brought fresh tears to your eyes. “I love you,” he whispered against your lips, his voice hoarse yet steady. “I’ll never stop loving you.” For a while, neither of you moved, your breaths mingling in the quiet room. He finally shifted, rolling onto his side and pulling you into his arms. You rested your head against his chest, your heart still racing. “I love you too,” you admitted, the words feeling right despite everything. As the night stretched on, you lay tangled together, the pain and anger of the past giving way to something softer. It wasn’t perfect, and you knew it wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you belonged—with him.

[son-of-avraham]

Do you have advice for dealing with having to take a break in your conversion process due to life circumstances? I haven't really officially started the process yet due to my rabbi being busy, but been attending a shul with people I love for months and it's become part of my routine. But due to having to move a bit farther away temporarily, I probably won't be able to go back for a few months and it's breaking my heart because going to shul for shabbat was honestly the best part of my week and idk how to cope with being away for so long :( ik there's options for zoom services but it just doesn't feel the same. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this/have you had to deal with something similar?? I just don't know who to talk to about it with anyone and it's really weighing on me, especially because the shul closest to where I'll be moving isn't super active. I really appreciate any advice you could give me if it isn't to much too ask, thank you <3

You have all my sympathies, anon. That's honestly really heartbreaking, even if it's a temporary break or even if it's something that can be resolved. I just want to make sure you know you ought to have the space to have this without feeling like maybe you're overreacting.

I think I might list some things - and these would be what I might do in your situation. I don't know if all of these will be accessible to you or something you aren't doing, so if it's not applicable, I'm sorry.

So, I might:

Get as much contact info as you can from members of the shul if you can. Keeping in contact with your community (even if you're away) can be really comforting. In my shul, we have people emailing who are very far away, and it's really nice to hear updates from the people who get emails from them

Do what you're comfortable with. How can you engage in judaism still? You might light shabbos candles, make challah, maybe study - these are all great ways to practice in a safe, controlled environment. Before I started the process, I definitely dove into studying, and it's definitely not ideal to study alone, but I do think it can be a good start if you use jewish souces

Alternative communities. Now, I live in an area with pretty much no jewish presence. I could number the jews I have heard living here on one hand. There's more catholic and litheran churches alone here than jews, so I myself rely on alternative communities. Find any jewish club, social hour, event, whatever that piques your interest and go. You are not an island in judaism. If a community doesn't call to you, you will find a new one. It might not be in-person, it might not always be organized, it might not be perfect, but that community must exist. It pretty much has to in judaism, I have found.

Don't be shy. To expand on that last point, you don't need to be shy about engaging in new communities. It's normal, it's natural, but if you're worried you'll make a bad impression, or make yourself out as a fool, or whatever... Your brain is lying to you. In my experience, the things I've been nervous about (that jews around me will think I'm an interloper, mostly) just aren't true. So many jews I have met are starving for new connections, especially from people who are genuinely interested in judaism and living a jewish life and they have the curiosity to be open to new people. I don't say that as a ride or objectifying thing - I've felt this way. I'm always starving to know everyone, especially in jewish spaces. Healthy jewish communities (I think and in my experience) are elated over new people

If you have already done some of this, I hope my suggestions don't come across as insulting your intelligence. These are the things I have done in a town with very few jews and in a space where it can be hard to engage with judaism properly and in the way I want. I don't understand your personal situation, but I do understand the heartbreak, frustration, and sadness of not having a jewish community or of not being able to live the jewish life you want, so I really hope you don't discount any of those feelings if you're having them. You deserve a healthy, vibrant jewish community and it's one of the lifeline of jews, I think, so it's understandable why it hits people so hard when there isn't that.

I hope that anyone here who also has ideas feels safe and comfortable to share them. This is a very common reality for so many of us, so you are definitely not alone in this. As heartbreaking as it is, you aren't the first person to experience this. I don't say that to discount you! What I mean is that you aren't alone in your feelings and that there are people out there able to empathize with you and want to help. There are few truly unique experiences, and that can be the biggest blessing that g-d could give. If you want or need to talk more, the doors here are more than open for you. Even if these suggestions don't work out for you, I still hope for the best for you, and I hope you find comfort in any community you can find

[lillyfics]

Soaring through the Skies || Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations in the journey of your love with Aemond.

PLS!!! READ AUTHOR'S NOTE UNTIL " :) " IF YOU DON'T WANT THE ENDING OF THE SERIES TO BE SPOILED!!!

Author's Note: This is literally my first ever fic so don't be too harsh :) The only reason I am writing this fic is that I have read too much Aemond x reader fics where he cheats on with Alys and there is no happy ending for the reader. Like why does every fic I read with that topic just breaks my heart :((( Anyway I decided to write a similar story where the reader gets as close to a happy ending as possible :)

Chapter 1 is a lot of characterization and very little plot :-))

TW: swearing, sexual violence, angst, heartbreak, violence, child death, infidelity, death, references to smut

Chapter 1 (WC: 2159)

His eyes enchant you. After all those years spent at Dragonstone, you thought you would forget what it felt like to be in his presence. But at that moment, when his eyes met yours at the training ground, you felt yourself sucked back into the whirlpool of emotions with an even greater force. Initially, you thought you were the only one whose heart was stuck in a storm, but you later learned that Aemond’s heart was in a similar situation too. During the courting period, he confessed about the love he held for you too. At that time, you felt warmth. You allowed yourself to hope that someone would keep you afloat. But now, you were mortified and nearly ran back to the castle and kept yourself busy under the guise of preparing yourself for the petition. Your sisters kept prodding you about your nerves, but they thought it was just jitters about being back in court. Your father, the rogue prince, was the only one who noticed your unease, but kept silent. There are many things you love about your father, but you believe that his best quality was his ability to understand you. Growing up without a mother, he was your sole guiding lamp in the dark abyss that the world is. But he also didn’t believe in commanding you your every step in life, as he once said “One day you will fly on your own issa tala, and I wouldn’t be able to be there when you are soaring the skies.” He also reminded you that you are the Lady of Runestone and one day you would be a queen in your own right.  Knowing that interrogating you would do no good, he just left you alone to your thoughts and knew that would come to him when in need of help.

With everything that was happening, you couldn’t think Vaemond Velaryon’s petition could get worse, but as every minute grows you are proven wrong. It finally ended when half of his head rolled on the floor, courtesy of your father. This day was a strenuous one, and not just for you. Just when you thought everything was resolved the day has had its fill of surprises, the king commanded a betrothal. A betrothal between you and Aemond. While your eyes were filled with shock, his were…blank. It held nothing. The wedding was to happen in two weeks, in an effort to elongate the period of peace between the green queen and the heir to the iron throne you guess.

Began the courting period, spinning with emotions. You were just learning to spread your wings, you can’t fly yet. Your time had been cut short by a person who did not know you, nor care enough about what you felt and saw you just as a piece in this grand game of cyvasse. You also understand that as piece, you are not one of those that commanded, but one of those that served. Knowing that conflicting with this choice would bring you nothing but trouble, you moved forward to acceptance. This is what it is. A habit your father tried to break you out of. He believed that we are a true pair of father and child in the way we had similar flames stoking us. The way your cunningness seared through you that made you capable of outsmarting your siblings. The way determination gilded you to achieve a task that your mind commands you to. The only flaw of yours is acceptance.

Then the period of courting begins. The fact it is even called that makes your stomach ache with laughter. A courting with no choice you believed to be. During this period, you go through a plethora of phases. After the initial shock to acceptance stage, curiosity won over. Curious about Aemond. You remembered that his eyes were devoid of emotion. Is that how he felt? Nothingness? Just a duty? You think you could live with that. Duty could sprout into comfort and then transform into love. Yet, doubts persisted. What if instead of indifference, he was against the betrothal? Did he have another love? Did he think you weren’t beautiful enough? Did he think you to be timid? You tried to make content with these doubts so that you wouldn’t be troubled in the head. If he had another love, there was no way she could hold up to you, as you are the Lady of Runestone and he, a mere second son. Aemond was anything but ambitious, someone who would seek to increase his standing. The only way his legacy would ever be part of this great game were if his heirs were to be from a powerful woman, and you are anything but not that. After the Queen, the Princess of Dragonstone, and the Lady Jeyne Arryn of the Vale, you were one of the women in power. Or you would be one, in the future. If concern is regarding your beauty, he is more than lucky enough to have you, the entire realm would agree on that as you were deemed a beauty by both Valyrian, First Men, and the Andals’ standards. Your mixture of Royce and Targaryen blood gave you your unique features, sought upon by the entirety of the kingdom much to both your father’s pride and displeasure. On the other side, he was known as the accursed prince with one-eye, deemed scornful to be gazed upon. Yet, you never thought it that way. In your eyes, Aemond was nothing less than one of the most beautiful Valyrian gods to stroll through the realm. Even the juxtaposition of his one violet eye and one sapphire eye entices you. In theory, the mixture of your blood should be blessed with the most gorgeous babes. That is what you once dreamed of, with childish hopes. Now, uncertainty plagues you. You still don’t know how Aemond feels about the betrothal since you have yet to have a conversation with him. Even the queen and the princess are radiating happiness together as they divulge themselves in wedding planning and are genuinely positive regarding this union. Your personal opinion is that this wedding is just their excuse to spend time together. Regardless, Rhaenyra has loved you like her own and Aemond was Alicent’s favourite, so they want nothing but the best for this ceremony. From your brief interaction with Otto Hightower, you learn that even he seems to be in high spirits regarding this union. Why wouldn’t he be? The ambitious man would be joyful about gaining access to the Vale. The only ones that aren’t happy are your siblings and your father, but they have their reasons, and you couldn’t judge them for it. You will also eventually learn that their disappointment is for reasons different than you have in your mind.

As the first week comes to an end, you have your dress, venue, and acquaintance with Helaena, Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, and Maelor in order. Satisfaction fills you, but not enough to completely ease you. In that evening as heirlooms from Runestone finally start arriving, realization strikes you which makes you storm out to the weirwood tree. The stunning colors of the garden would usually calm you, but now nothing stops the quiet sobs that spill out of you. You never liked not knowing the future. You always carved your path. First it was the king, now it was Aemond. Lost in your misery, you sat down with hands covering your knees, staring into nothingness, as teardrops roll down your cheeks. “Are you really that miserable at the prospect of being tied to me?” Not a single whisper escaped your mouth, as you were still in the haze of surprise. You just looked at him. With no answer, Aemond made a choice and decided to take a seat close to you, almost touching you but not. “I thought you were the one who didn’t want to share your life with me”, you tried to say mirthfully, but combined with your doubtfulness it almost came out as a wince. Aemond was staggered by your response. He talked. You talked. He smiled. You smiled. This continued until the sun completely set and only the silent rustles of the leaves and the soft exhales of both of could be heard. You are now hand in hand with him, and everything is eerily calm. The calmness you hope that death would grace you with when its your time. Eventually, you were startled out of your calmness due to a rumble. Aemond looked sheepish and stated that the last meal he had was lunch and he just finished training a few minutes before he saw you by the weirwood tree. Now together, you both enter the dining hall. You also know now everything is fine. Everything will be fine.

In a week, you and Aemond grow closer. Spoke of both of your ambitions, your desires, your wishes. Even before interacting much, you knew Aemond would be a perfect co-ruler when you will eventually move to Runestone in a few years. His knowledge of history and philosophy, his commandeering outlook, and his excellent swordsmanship are qualities that would make him a wonderful consort. Ruling Runestone was something that you were less than confident about. You knew you were a just person, yet you doubted how perfect your capabilities would be. With Aemond by your side, you knew you would enrich the Vale.

As time grew closer to the wedding, you became more comfortable. At your happiness, your siblings also started displaying their happiness. While Lucerys and Rhaena were not a fan of the groom, they were able to understand that I was happy, and that makes them happy too. Even little Aegon and Viserys couldn’t stop beaming at being surrounded by festivities. It seems that everyone in the court were combusting with glee. Well everyone, except Jace and Baela. Their hatred of the groom outweighs the happiness you felt it seems. Aemond didn’t like them either, so you never bothered trying to fix that relationship. Aemond even seems to be more possessive of you in presence of Jace, almost growling when you were seen proximal to Jace. “You don’t know the way he looks at you my love.” You simply ignored the comment, thinking that Aemond’s past grudges were making him paranoid. Once again, you were proven wrong. While you and Jace are having a private conversation in your solar, probably one of your last of these kind of talks until he becomes king it seems. You couldn’t control your smiles as you reminiscent on memories of the past until Jace suddenly leaned across and kissed you. Pin drop silence spread across the chambers until Jace spoke these words “I have fallen in love with you, I am still in love with you, and I know it would be for my best to move on but I don’t think I ever will”. Still, you haven’t uttered a single word, just stared back at him. He eventually leaves the chambers, and unknown to you, that will be the very last conversation you will ever have with each other. You would be left wishing that you said something. Anything really. Anything but the empty silence so that your last memory of him could be filled with something other than guilt and regrets. The evening before the wedding, Baela helps you prepare for the celebratory dinner. Your eyes meet at the mirror. One look into her eyes lets you know that she knows. She also is aware that you know. Guilt racked through you once you realized that she wasn’t even angry with you, she understands. She is aware that she is going to face the condition that you once thought you would be the victim of. Duty instead of love. She finished fixing your hair and you turned around. You hugged her. She hugged you back. Few stray tears escaped. In the end, you are both sisters. In the end, both of you are women who have no control of their fates in the grand game of life. However, in the end, you are both dragons. You are both daughters of the rogue prince.

The wedding went without a hitch. Despite the convoluted feelings of everyone in the sept, at the exact moment your eyes meet his, yours evaporate away. The wedding was devotional. The feast was grandiose. The wedding night was…the wedding night was happy. You weren’t previously aware that happy was ever a word to describe such event but that is what you felt. Happiness. Pure bliss. You and Aemond made love. Giggled like children, made love like long lost lovers, even fed a shew tears like you were looking at a tragedy. When you woke up the next morning, you were filled with joy at the possibility that you would wake up like this every morning for the rest of your life. You could only dream.

High Valyrian Translations:

Issa tala- my daughter

[ammy246]

Just saw some Narusasu shippers shitting on Bakudeku, and as someone who's first gay ship and otp used to be Narusasu instead of Bakudeku, I have some thoughts.

I remember the heartbreak I felt the day Kishimoto ruined Narusasu by forcing them to be romantically involved with women without a single bit of relationship development. Naruto ended up with Hinata in a filler movie despite having ignored her even after her romantic confession to him, and Sasuke abandoned Sakura after having a child with her. This was not the ending any of us wanted. We wanted Naruto and Sasuke to peacefully resolve their rivalry, and find love in each other after all they've been through. But unfortunately, that's not what happened as Kishimoto had to force a next-gen onto us, and permanently friendzoned them. It's tragic and felt like a betrayal, but shounen had not been ready for queer relationships, so Narusasu being shafted was ultimately inevitable.

While I cannot say for 100% certain, I can say that Bakudeku has a much greater chance of becoming canon than Narusasu ever did. Horikoshi once stated that he will tell the story he wants to be told and not follow the stereotypical formula, contradicting Kishimoto who went with the shounen ending we've seen many times before of the protagonist accomplishing their goal and marrying a woman and having kids (even though they have no chemistry with said woman or a lack of feelings for them compared to their rival).

Horikoshi had the chance to make Izuocha canon. They could've confessed before the war, but they didn't. The two moved on with their lives, and have made no desire to talk about feelings for each other, but are rather focused on other peope (Bakugou and Toga) as that's where their hearts reside. Bakugou also has no other potential love interest aside from Midoriya as he is the one he is closest too in the entire world and knows the most which is different than Sasuke who had some moments with Sakura scattered throughout the series from the start.

Bakugou cares about Midoriya in a way that's beyond friendship. He means the word to him to the point he was willing to sacrifice himself and even die for him, and will make himself vulnerable around him and nobody else. Midoriya has hidden feelings for Bakugou as his thoughts regarding him are hidden, and his heart always spirals out of control because of Bakugou, but we have not yet been directly told why. Midoriya does not act like this around his other friends, and he has many.

Naruto and Sasuke resolved things right after their final fight, and their friendship returned stronger than ever before, but that was it. Yet even after Bakugou's apology, there are still unresolved issues even though Midoriya chose to forgive him, meaning something must still be said between the two. Midoriya did not want an apology; he wanted to deepen their bond beyond friendship, but was too afraid of rejection hence why he never confessed and hid his feelings instead.

This plotline is still unresolved as of chapter 405. Bakugou is now being honest about his feelings, yet we have still yet to see Midoriya's thoughts regarding Bakugou's death and revival only having been given face expressions. So if their friendship has returned and gotten stronger than ever before despite the series not yet being over, what else is there to develop aside from romantic feelings?

Narusasu shippers, I hate to say it, but we lost. We cannot change the past, but we can have hope for the future. Bakudeku has surpassed Narusasu long ago, and the two are closer to a love confession than ever before, which is something we never quite got close to with Narusasu. If Horikoshi is serious about not following the typical shounen formula, we might have a real chance here. We might not get a kiss or marriage, but if the two confess their feelings for each other and do not end up with women like nothing happened, then that would be a huge victory for the LGBT+ community, and hopefully open the gateway for more queer relationships in shounen jump for the future.

Both Bakudeku and Narusasu are amazing ships. I wish we could live in a reality where both became canon, but getting one would still be a major milestone. Do not attack each other over what could have been, but resolve your differences like Bakugou & Midoriya and Naruto & Sasuke did and look towards a brighter future where LGBT+ can be mainstream without us having to fight for it and fear losing.

[ficnation]

Shadow of a Broken Heart - EZ Reyes x Reader

Summary: Losing someone you love exposes the darkest side of what your friend is capable of. A broken heart opens a path for a twisted mind.

Word count: 1,4k+

Pairing: Platonic! Ezekiel ‘EZ’ Reyes x Female! Reader; mentioned! Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas x Reader

Warnings: SPOILERS for Mayans MC season 5, mayans mc typical warnings, pure angst

A/n: Another angsty piece for EZ because I’m never forgiving him for what he did to Neron. Enjoy the heartbreak and please reblog if you liked it!

Main Masterlist

Mayans MC Masterlist

A tense and heated silence fills the vehicle, your breathing deep and steady as you stare at the trailer ahead. Your knuckles are tight and white, your grip on the gun firm. With each breath, the weight of your grief and your need for vengeance grows, fueling your resolve.

You won’t let your loved one’s death go unpunished; EZ is going to pay the ultimate price for taking away his life. He’s going to die at the hands of his own friend, feeling betrayed just like Neron did. There was no way you’d let him go out easily after what he’s done.

As you let out a deep breath, your grip on the gun tightens even more. Your eyes are locked on your target’s home. Your mind is a vortex of emotions and thoughts—the sound of your heartbeat is deafening.

The tension is palpable as you wait, steeling yourself for the moment ahead. You are ready. You are prepared to carry out your vengeance, hoping for the sweet release of the overwhelming weight of your grief and anger that have been crushing you for the past few weeks.

You make sure the safety is on before you stick the gun beneath the waistband of your jeans. While it is still concealed, you can feel it pressed against your spine, the cold, metallic sensation of the firearm sending a chill down your spine.

Your heart is still pounding, your body tensing at every tiny sound, each muscle coiled and ready to strike. But your mind is calm and focused, determined to do what you came here for.

You jump out of the car, and your boots hit the dry earth below with a dull thud. The cool night air is a slight relief from your hot, boiling emotions. You straighten up as you leave the door open, afraid of making too much noise.

You reach the trailer, hesitating for a moment as your raised fist hovers over the plastic surface of the door. You stop your racing mind and bring your hand down, knocking gently.

The knock, even so quiet, reverberates throughout the night on the quiet street as you stand motionless, waiting to see if anyone will open the door—if your thirst for EZ’s blood will be satisfied.

You all but exhale when you hear the creaking of the floor inside. The steps get closer and closer then finally, Ezekiel Reyes inches the door open, peeking through the small gap.

You play the game and drop your shoulders with a defeated shrug. The bags under your eyes and the sadness of your frown are convincing enough for EZ to open the door fully. You force your eyes to tear up just like you did when you were a kid and your mom didn’t want to buy you ice cream. It looks real—believable.

The man you once considered a brother steps aside to let you in. He closes the plastic door as you look around the trailer. You knew beforehand Sofie had received an emergency call from her coworker asking for her assistance on the night shift. You were glad you bumped into Bottles, and he let the information slip.

You sit on the bed and put your head in your hands—elbows digging into the flesh of your thighs as you fake a sniffle. “I miss him so much, EZ. I don’t think I can go on much longer,” you mumble out, your voice breaking slightly.

You are amazed at just how good you’re at this because the dark-eyed man squats in front of you without a second thought. He places his large hands on your knees as he tries to look you in the eyes. You want to dig his eyes out and leave them hanging out of the sockets just by the nerves.

“I know it’s painful,” he says softly, and you let him guide your arms down. His skin touching yours makes you want to spit in his face.

“I’m like a fucking shadow without him. A shadow of a broken heart.” You clench your eyes shut as you let the tears spill down your cheeks, the black mascara leaving traces on your skin. “I’m nothing without him. I don’t know who I am or what I am supposed to do,” you sob, the words sound almost choked out. You’re telling the truth this time; you don’t even have to force it—the words spilling out of your mouth, the pain behind them, honest.

He hushes you, bringing your hands to his lips so he can kiss your knuckles in hopes of soothing you. You look into his eyes, searching for some glimmer of understanding, some shred of reason behind the betrayal. You’re desperate to find a tiny piece of remorse or guilt in them. But you know eyes can only say so much. His dark irises give away nothing, his gaze cold and indifferent—devoid of the warmth and patience he pretends to hold for you, lacking the Reyes’ love you had once come to know.

Your heart sinks, and you suddenly understand the truth. Your “friend” is no longer the person you once knew and trusted. He’s not the sweet prospect that always listened to your ramblings when you visited the clubhouse. He’s not the man that spent days with you just because Neron was sent on a long mission and you were drowning in worry.

You don’t know this man who kneels before you now and pretends to be your friend. He became a completely different person, someone that you can no longer trust or rely on. It is a devastating reality, and the pain of betrayal cuts even deeper into your heart—it claws at it and leaves marks that’ll never heal.

You know he doesn’t even slightly feel threatened by your presence. If he had reservations when he opened the door, they evaporated just as quick as you stepped foot into the trailer. You were just a woman, a creature smaller and weaker than a man like him. There was nothing about you that screamed danger. He allowed himself to drop his guard down—a mistake he’ll pay for.

“Don’t give up. One day you’ll wake up, and it won’t hurt anymore. You’re gonna get through it.” As your name leaves his lips after his empty promise—you almost shudder. He stands up and kisses the crown of your head—the nausea his touch draws out of you keeps growing. “Do you want to stay at the clubhouse tonight? I can keep you company. Maybe we can finish a bottle of tequila like in the good old days,” he offers.

You want to believe he’s genuine so badly. You want Neron back. You want your friend—the good version of Ezekiel Reyes—back. But deep down, you know you already made peace with the fact that it’ll never happen, that it’s time to say goodbye to both of them before they’ll drag you down with them.

You agree with a simple nod of your head and let EZ pull you to your feet and out of the trailer. He walks ahead, spinning the keys to the clubhouse in his fingers as he whistles a tune under his nose. You follow him, heart palpitating. You have to do it now, or you’ll lose your bravery.

Ezekiel looks back at you when you reach the door to the clubhouse, his eyes studying you. For a second, a fear pops into your head that maybe he’s well aware of the plan you made up in your head, and he’s just toying with you, but it disappears instantly when the man turns away and jabs the key into the keyhole.

You don’t wait. You pull the gun out of your waistband and stand behind him, raising it to his head. Your fingers pop the safety off, and you watch as EZ freezes, his shoulders tensing.

“You were like a family to me,” you mumble out, feeling the tears gathering in your eyes. You know if you give him a few more minutes, the shock will wear off, and he’ll overpower you in an instant, slapping the gun straight out of your hands. “I hope Neron doesn’t give you a second of peace down there, you lying piece of rat shit.”

Your fingers are steady as you pull the trigger. The shot reverberates through the night as the blood and brain tissue splatter on your face. The man in front of you takes his last breath as he falls face-first onto the wooden floor with a loud thud. You kick him in the ass for good measure before you turn away and jump down the steps, leaving him on the doorstep of his beloved club. When his brothers find his body the next morning, you’ll be long gone, somewhere far away from Santo Padre.

You don’t feel the sweet relief you hoped for.

[serjo-konahrik]

Hi, it is I the anon Gabriel lover and honestly I didn’t expect my asks to gain traction. You guys are all awesome and I’m glad I can share my love for Gabriel with you guys. That being said, I wrote a Drabble based on the last ask and I hope you enjoy and my apologies for any inaccuracies it’s been a while since I last looked at MCSM, take care:

Petra gave a glance towards Gabriel as the warrior helped to set up camp for the night, unaware of the other’s current internal conflict inside her head. She never expected to encounter the warrior on her adventures, though she should have considered the chance and now she has to tackle how she can break Fred’s death towards him.

Hearing that Gabriel and Fred were a couple wasn’t what Petra or Jesse would ever expect but hearing how Xara and the others described them, it’s clear how much they loved each other. And now Fred is dead. Fred’s dead and Gabriel is left unaware of what happened, waiting for a man who can never return. It left a bitter taste in her mouth but she and Jesse made a promise to Fred’s people to at least tell Gabriel the truth, he deserves to know.

So, as the two settled down around the fire, Petra scratched the back of her head, bracing herself. She doesn’t know why she’s nervous- actually scratch that she does. It’s not everyday you deliver devastating news to someone about a loved one, especially if it’s someone you know and respect. Despite that, her resolve hardened and she finally forced the words out of her throat, “So… Jesse and I met someone in our last adventure. Her name’s Xara.”

Petra watched as Gabriel’s eyes widened in recognition, his head snapping towards her. Petra took a deep breath as she looked back, “She mentioned someone else too. His name’s Fred and he’s… He-“

“Fred’s gone, isn’t he?” Gabriel interjected, making Petra jolt. The warrior gave a bittersweet chuckle at Petra’s gobsmacked expression before explaining, “Fred was too kind to just disappear without an explanation, he would have sent a letter to explain himself. I waited for that letter, but it never came…”

Petra watched, her expression sorrowful as Gabriel removed his helmet, staring down at it with an indescribably pained face, “Eventually, I knew that Fred isn’t coming back, he can’t come back and even after coming to terms with that, it still hurts.”

The warrior stood up, shaking his head, “Forgive me, I need a moment to process this.”

“Of course, take your time.” Petra frowned before eventually adding, “If it helps, we met some people who looked after Fred’s pets. We can go to Beacontown to meet them if you want.”

“I… I would like that… Thank you.” Gabriel nodded, his body shaking with the sobs he’s struggling to keep in as he walked away. His mind raced, grappling with the news he never thought would be confirmed, crushing what little denial Gabriel had remaining deep down, hoping that Fred would return someday. Even after all these years, all the pain that left him jaded, Fred still remains close to his heart.

As Gabriel slowed to a stop atop a hill, he shakily pulled out a letter which felt heavier now than it did before and collapsed, dropping his helmet in the process. His cries echo across the plains, carrying his grief and heartbreak.

To my beloved diamond Gabriel,

How are you? I hope you are faring well, the sunrise over the birch forest I saw was wonderful. I even included a little picture for you! I hope you like it. The landscapes you described to me on your adventures really inspired me and I love hearing you talk about where you have gone. Just please be sure to be careful, I don’t want you to get hurt.

Nugget and Waffles are doing well although Waffles still has trouble making decisions. He’s a silly little chicken but he’s our silly little chicken, he and Nugget can’t wait to meet you again.

I wish I can say that things are alright with my friends but tensions have only gotten worse. Romeo is fully committed to his idea of conquering other worlds and Xara has lost all hope in him. Yet, I still believe in my friend, I think I can convince him. It may be dangerous and I’m afraid that there is a good chance that I will die but no matter what happens, I will always love you Gabriel and I’ll make sure to return to you. I cannot wait to see you again when our anniversary comes around, I have the most wonderful place to show you.

Please take care, I love you so much Gabriel.

Your dearest lapis,

Fred

TALENT PURE TALENT BUT ALSO I HATE YOU/LH

oh my GODDDDDD STOPPP IT HHRTSSS why do yall do this

sadly they are doomed never to be happy and I'm read this with my mouth open like... nuh uh u didnt......

stop... I beg of thee../j

[mah-t-wordblog]

It's Too Cold For You Here

Tanjiro journeys by himself in a snow storm to his old home, while Nezuko stays and sleeps at Butterfly Mansion. Giyu Tomioka catches sight of him near his home village and follows at a distance to see what he is up to. He watches Tanjiro grieving at his old home for his family, wandering around and sitting in his house like a lost soul. Unable to leave him, he steps in, and eventually convinces Tanjiro to leave the bloodstained place and follow him to a Wisteria House, where the boy finally opens up about his heartbreaking reunion with his family in the dream world and how he left them crying after him and how much he misses his parents, as well as how he had to take his own life so many times to escape. He admits that he hates himself and blames himself for not going home that night and relives the cruel words that his 'dream family' said to him. He admits he relives the whole thing every night and is so exhausted and emotionally beaten he barely eats or sleeps anymore.

The dream world for Tanjiro...I am so sure just about broke him mentally and emotionally. He has not told anyone because it was so painful, so Giyu is the first to learn and I am sure he is inwardly heart broken for the boy, even if he is so stoic and gruff. But he can see how much damage it has done to Tanjiro and because he cares for him, he is concerned.

Maybe during the conversation Tanjiro also opens up and shares things about his dad and mom and siblings so Giyu gets to learn more about his family as well as who Nezuko was as a human.

It would be cool to get a lot of Giyu's inward thoughts on the boy, past, present, and future, as well as what he is thinking while listening to the boy.

Angst comfort fic, with stoic Giyu comforting Tanjiro to the best of his abilities and getting him to eat some supper. Platonic cuddling and sleeping?

Hiii, I don’t know if this is exactly what you want me to write, maybe I made some changes, but I left the main focus as you wanted, I hope you like it anyway 💛💛

It’s too cold for you here

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡

This fanfic is originally in Portuguese, my English is translated using an automatic translator, if there are any big errors you can tell me so I can fix them

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡

Gyuu Tomioka was climbing the cold mountain, the air there gave him a headache

It wasn't the first time he visited that area, not really. He had already gone there the first time he met the Kamado twins

The town there seemed bustling, despite the intense cold of the winter that was beginning.

Some people wished him good morning as he passed by, but Gyuu didn't respond to them, because he wasn't interested in talking to other people at all, he had something to resolve.

Shinobu Kochou had informed him that Tanjiro Kamado had disappeared that night, leaving his sister sleeping peacefully in the rooms of the Boboleta Mansion.

Wasn't that common for Tanjiro to disappear like that overnight? Go out without him sister? Run away and abandon everyone?

These questions certainly didn't make sense in his head.

So Gyuu used reason to understand where Tanjiro had gone, and the answer was this mountain

He thought of all the possibilities of what could happen as he climbed through the deep snow.

He stopped in front of a small house, humble, cozy, on top of the mountain.

And he heard a very familiar sound

As he got closer, he realized that the sound was coming from someone crying.

Tomioka's heart accelerated and he ran into the place

Yes, Tanjiro was kneeling on the carpet on the floor. He cried, as if all the scenes he experienced there were happening now

The man felt a pang in his heart, how cruel life was for that little boy.

“Tanjiro-“ Gyuu said

The boy looked back scared, but calmed down when he saw who it was.

“What happened here, Tanjiro?”

The boy opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't say anything.

Gyuu sighed

“Come here” he extended a hand to help Tanjiro up, but when he pulled the boy, he brought him into a big hug

Tanjiro was a little confused, but relief spread throughout his body, he stopped crying.

"You are hurt?" Gyuu asked, referring to the boy's bloody leg.

“Y-yes” he finally said “I got stuck in some bushes on the way here”

Tanjiro took a few steps back and Gyuu saw that he was limping.

“Come on” Tomioka signaled to Tanjiro “come up here”

The boy did as he was asked, he climbed onto Gyuu's back

And in that position the two descended the mountain

Gyuu really wanted to ask what was happening, why Tanjiro was like this. But would the boy want to tell it? Gyuu doesn't see any reason why someone would want to tell him a secret

But he should try, for the boy's sake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gyuu left Tanjiro alone in a room in the Butterfly Mansion and went to look for help for a moment.

He was afraid of what sadness could do to him

The man ran until he found Shinobu

“Please, Kocho, some medicine” he panted after running so desperately

“Tomioka, what happened?”

“I found him, Tanjiro”

Shinobu opened her eyes wide and ran to her room.

In just a few minutes, Shinobu had prepared bandages and medicine for the boy.

"Are you well?" She asked. Tomioka could see that the fake smile wasn't even on her face, she was worried

“Yes” Tanjiro replied, but without smiling like he always did.

Shinobu looked at Tomioka, she got up and went towards the door

“Tomioka, please come here”

The man did as he was asked

“Please, I fear that Tanjiro is reaching the point of irreversible sadness, talk to him, you are still the one who helped him, the one who allowed him to become who he is today”

Tomioka sighed, he looked away from her, he wanted to help, he really wanted to

“You’re like a big brother” she asked “think of him as Sabito, okay?”

Tomioka was scared, he didn't remember telling Shinobu about his life, but... but...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yes, it was on a day like that. Tomioka was found wandering in the mountains looking for the place where Sabito had been buried, he ended up slipping on the snow in the mountains and fell, all the way down the hill.

He remained on the ground, all broken, just waiting for death, when someone came close to him. They were two beautiful women, he remembers, they were Kanae and Shinobu Kochou

They carried him and took him to a beautiful, large house, in the room where they placed him there were several sick people, injured like him.

Then the woman with pink barrettes in her hair approached him.

“What’s your name, hunter?”

Gyuu looked at her, he wasn't a hashira yet, nor was Shinobu, just Kanae

“Gyuu Tomioka”

Kanae sighed

He could see that Shinobu was staring at him, but when he looked at her, she looked away.

“Why were you climbing the mountain, Tomioka?” Kanae asked.

Gyuu didn't respond

The woman seemed worried “it’s okay, if you need anything you can call me”

Then Kanae left the room, leaving Gyuu and Shinobu alone.

A long moment of silence was broken by Shinobu

“Did you know anyone from there?”

Gyuu felt a pang in his heart

"Yes"

The woman looked at him “who?”

Gyuu didn't know why he should tell Shinobu about this, but he felt like he should. Did she make you feel confident? What was that feeling? He barely knew her

"It's a long story…"

"I am interested"

Their gaze met

Gyuu felt hot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The feeling that someone cares about you is very good, Gyuu wanted Tanjiro to feel it too

“I’ll take care of him” he said, placing a hand on the woman’s shoulder.

"Thanks"

Gyuu Tomioka entered the room again

Tanjiro was curled up on his bed, lying down, sad. Gyuu sat next to him

“Do you want to talk, Tanjiro?”

The boy sat down “talk about what, sir?” Even sad he was impressively polite

“About why you were on that mountain”

Tanjiro sighed, he covered his face with his hands, Gyuu heard the sound of crying

“No- there’s no need to talk, only if you want to” Gyuu said worriedly

The boy calmed down “I want to talk”

Gyuu looked at him, the more relieved and calm expression, different from the bored and sad one that was always on the hashira's face, made Tanjiro feel calmer and calmer.

“So get started, I’m here to listen.”

Tanjiro said, once he started talking he didn't stop. He told about when his father died, about what Nezuko was like when she was human, about his mother and his brothers, about the day he slept outside and never stopped blaming himself for it, when he discovered that they were dead...

Gyuu really didn't imagine Tanjiro's life was so difficult

Finally, the boy ended by telling about the dream he was subjected to by that inferior omnimoon, the terror he felt at having to take his own life so many times, having to abandon his family even though he knew none of it was real.

“It was torture! Psychological torture, that shitty oni, I hate it! I hate them!” Tanjiro started screaming, getting out of control, the boy never did that, he started hitting the bed hard

“Tanjiro!” Gyuu exclaimed

Tanjiro looked at him, his eyes swollen with tears.

“I know, Tanjiro” the man took one of the boy's hands “I know what it's like to lose everything you have, I've lost it twice myself, I lost my whole world, and it's all my fault”

Tanjiro wiped his eyes “and what did you do?”

“I didn’t let myself forget who I always loved. I haven’t forgotten the sister who protected me” he pointed to the red part of his clothes “and I haven’t forgotten the friend who saved me” he pointed to another part of the clothes, which had colorful patterns

“Do you visit the place of their death?”

“Every day I can, but I'm careful, so I don't fall and hurt myself, like you.”

Tanjiro chuckled, then Gyuu laughed too.

“Thank you, Mr. Tomioka” Tanjiro lowered his head smiling

“I'll always be here for you, boy” Gyuu rubbed a hand on the boy's head, ruffling his hair “it's okay to be sad sometimes, right?”

"Right"

Gyuu got up

“Sir, one last thing”

The man turned around “yes?”

“Could you see what Miss Aoi is cooking? It smells soooo good” Tanjiro smiled

Gyuu was surprised by the boy's good mood and started laughing. Tanjiro had never seen Gyuu laugh so much, and he thought it was one of the best sights he had ever seen.

Yes, Gyuu was like a teacher to Tanjiro, but they were great friends, because their lives were never that different, right?

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡

Thanks for reading 💛💛

[theflyingfeeling]

Hi! Sending you some fanmail 💌 Your infidelity AU is one of the most heartbreaking, emotional and well written fiction I have read in my life. Sometimes when I feel sad I read it to distract myself so I can be sad for Olli and Aleksi in that imaginary situation instead. Works every time! Question: have you imagined the possible aftermath if they get caught or just can't live in a web of lies anymore? Or is the thought just too depressing 🥲

fanmail?? for little old me????? noooooo 😭😭😭😭💖💞💓💕

thank you, that AU is my favourite child at the moment and I loooooooove writing it so much!! ngl I feel terrible about making them suffer so much without ever resolving any of it and making them happy in the end, but... I can't really see it 😭 getting caught (by someone other than a bandmate) is not something I have really thought about that much tbh, because yeah, that would be a little too much, even if in some twisted way they may (in some of those fics) expect or even hope to be caught just so that they could maybe finally... stop doing it? or break-up with their partners and get together? I really haven't decided. in my mind, it's always them eventually putting an end to it themselves before shit hits the fan and settling for just pining for each other forever, wishing things would have turned out differently 😔 because in all those stories they do still love their partners as well, so it's a little more complicated than that and they find it difficult to end those relationships, even if all the cheating and lies are killing them from the inside 🥲

one alternative to getting caught that I can think of is that one or both their partners at some point "sense" something is up with the two and confront them about it, but even in those scenarios I prefer the version in which one or both their partners do figure it out but neverthless decide to never bring it up because... maybe they hope it's harmless? maybe hope it's just, idk, a phase? or maybe they just choose to ignore it, because if they don't acknowledge or address it in any way, maybe it's not actually happening (because they can't bear it to be real)? so so tragic, I LOVE IT 🥺

having said all that, I do wish I could think of a way to end any of those stories with a little more hope in the end 😅😩 in some no-band AUs (that I write in my head) I often just make them break up with their partners so that they can be together, but usually in those AUs they're more or less unhappy with their relationships to begin with. in the Infidelity AU, the very point is that they're still (trying to be) good and loving boyfriends while having unexpectedly fallen in love with someone else and not knowing what to do about it (i.e. not wanting to break up because that would break too many hearts, so they'd rather just suffer in silence, but they also can't stay away from each other), because !!!!!! all the conflicting feelings!! all the guilt!! the remorse!! the hopelessness!! chef's kiss, if you ask me 😍

[writing-rat]

Truth of the Addams Curse

Pairings: Wednesday Addams x Enid Sinclair, Wednesday Addams and her family, Wednesday Addams and Yoko

Warnings: Angst, suicide Addams curse, my first time writing angst

Summary: Enid dies and Wednesday can't live without her. She decides to kill herself but she has to say bye first.

WC: 2025

It had been a tough fight against Crackstone and Wednesday felt like she achieved something. She had saved the school after an entire investigation. Yes, there were some twists and turns she didn’t expect but she was pleased to finally have done and solved it. Wednesday now had another issue to resolve. The Addams Curse. She had fallen for her roommate, Enid, and it was time to confront it. With Bianca and Eugene following her, she left towards the front of the school. She may be dizzy, but she needed to see if Enid was ok. When she did approach it, however, there was no sign of the wolf. “Where’s Enid?” she asked aloud and looked towards Yoko. Yoko panicked and looked around. Wednesday knew something was up then. That was when she quickly dashed to where she left Enid.

Being an Addams, she was scared that Enid had died. That would be the end of her life as well, she couldn’t live without her beloved. It was true that once an Addams fell, an Addams fell! If they got rejected, or their lover died then the affected Addams would fall into a deep depression, one they couldn’t get rid of. One that would end their lives, or it would be a slow, painful death of heartbreak. Wednesday always hated the potential of the curse, but she had started to accept it. Damn her for falling and her potential lover already dying. No, she couldn’t think that. She just had to hope that Enid was ok, just injured and unable to move. 

She didn’t process the footsteps behind her, voices calling her name. That was when she reached where Enid fought, and there was Enid, curled up. Thing was there, trying to stop the bleeding as he protected Enid’s dignity with her long, pink coat. Wednesday went next to him, checking her pulse. It was faint. That was when Enid stirred, her eyes opening. The light was fading fast. “Wednesday?” she asked. 

“Don’t move or speak, don’t waste any energy,” Wednesday spoke, looking up as Bianca was already on the phone, calling the hospital it seemed. Yoko was shocked, watching before she went next to her best friend.

“‘M sorry. I tried. It’s too late. I’ve lost too much already…” Enid spoke, putting her head on Wednesday’s thigh. Wednesday was trying to dislodge the lump in her throat, but it was impossible. She felt a stray tear come down. Yoko and Bianca definitely noticed, but they didn’t say anything and she appreciated that.

“No, help is coming, you will be fine,” Wednesday spoke, reassuring herself more. Enid shook her head.

“No… it is too late. But… I wolfed out. Aren’t you proud?” she asked, looking up at Wednesday as she was still bleeding. Wednesday nodded, slowly accepting that it was impossible to save her.

“I am proud, you did well,” she reassured. “I… this is my only time to say this. You are correct, it is too late. But I won’t hold this statement off. Enid, you have left a pink mark on my black heart. I never thought you would do that, I hated you at first. You dug deep though, like a maggot on a corpse. I… have learnt this past hour that you mean more to me than a friend. I see you as a lover, and I will be seeing you soon too,” she spoke. Enid was tearing up before she smiled.

“It only took this for you to confess… Before I go, can we kiss?” she asked, feeling herself fade faster. Wednesday was thankful Yoko and Bianca had walked away, leaving them peace. Wednesday nodded, soon starting to kiss her gently. Enid was smiling, kissing her back as she was soon pulling away. “Thank you for staying with me during death,” she murmured. She was scared of dying alone, she thought it would happen, but not until Wednesday came around. “No problem. I shall be seeing you soon anyway due to the Addams curse,” she whispered. Enid looked up at her. “It’s true? Damn, I wish it wasn’t. I want you to keep living. Please try,” she spoke. Wednesday nodded, Enid soon closing her eyes as she took her final breath.

That was when Wednesday was starting to break down, has she had to try and keep calm for her lover before death. Yoko and Bianca heard the sobbing, seeing that Enid had passed. That was when they tried to drag Wednesday away from Enid, but it was impossible, especially when she got her knife out. The only thing that got her off was when the cops had to take the body, yet Wednesday hadn’t processed it yet. She just walked away from everyone after saying her statement, ignoring everyone who wanted to talk to her as she went to her dorm, her eyes lingering on Enid’s side. She thought before she went onto her bed, curling up. She just hoped she would wake up and it was all a nightmare.

When she woke up the next morning, she was still lying in Enid’s bed, and she was alone. Tears sprung out of her eyes, staying where she was before she got up after 3 hours. There was a knock on the door, and she opened it, still wearing her bloody clothes. Yoko was there, worry and concern on her face. Yoko saw the clothes she was still wearing and felt her heart slightly beat faster, even if her heart never beat. “What?” Wednesday snapped. 

“I got you breakfast,” Yoko spoke, handing her some food. It was a breakfast burrito, her favourite. 

“Not hungry,” Wednesday mumbled as she went to close the door but Yoko immediately walked in. Wednesday sighed, going to her closet as she got some sweatpants and a black shirt then went to Enid’s and grabbed one of her sweaters, sniffing it slightly. As much as Yoko mourned Enid too, she felt bad for Wednesday, knowing that she was one of her only friends and the one who taught her love and friendship. Hell, she had listened to her speech and she didn’t want Wednesday to die. She would stick around her to make sure she survived. 

“You need to eat, please try after you shower, ok?” she spoke. Wednesday shrugged before she walked into the bathroom. Yoko sighed.

***

It had been 2 weeks after the incident and Wednesday was still depressed. She didn’t wake up till afternoon now, didn’t eat nor drink much and she didn’t sleep and if she did, it was plagued with nightmares. She also kept sleeping on Enid’s bed, slowly getting hives but she didn’t care. Yoko was taking care of her, as well as the rest of the Nightshades, minus Xavier who she cussed out. She appreciated everyone’s help but she didn’t need it. She was going to die. Her parents also knew what had happened, and knew that it would be their last months with her. Hell, Fester came back. Since classes were forced to go on, she didn’t go anymore and instead went to town where her family would see her and have coffee with her. They would offer to do her favourite activities but she always pushed them down. That was when Gomez broached the topic one morning. “So… when do you plan on joining Enid?” he asked. 

“I have tried multiple times already but the Nightshades have always stopped me. I want the pain to end already…” Wednesday spoke, looking down. “Can I ask you to buy a gun and a rope for me? I am thinking of what to do, and I am thinking of those… or jumping off our balcony. I mean… my balcony,” Wednesday asked, her voice going quiet at the end as she didn’t even bother drinking her coffee. Gomez nodded.

“Can we have a last, final meal with you at least before you plan on it?” he asked quietly. Wednesday thought then she nodded. 

“Can you also tell Yoko that I will die anyway, it will just be more gruelling and painful?” she also asked. She thought of the most recent time of when she tried to drown herself but Yoko had come in, going to give her dinner when she got concerned at the lack of response and ‘saved’ her just in time.

The family soon invited the Nightshades over to their temporary house, Wednesday going on a walk. She was going to Enid’s grave, as she did every day. Yoko was confused when she only saw Gomez, Morticia and Fester there who didn’t have dry eyes. “Hello,” Yoko spoke politely.

“Sit down everyone, please,” Gomez spoke softly. Everyone nodded doing as told. “Wednesday has decided tomorrow she is going to end it. She should go on her own terms. It’ll be a long, painful death if not,” Gomez started.

“She will die from heartbreak and it only happens if an Addams beloved dies. It is best she just goes and joins Enid,” Fester spoke, explaining the curse of the Addams. They all listened, everyone, crying either silently or loudly at the end. “Now please… even if I don’t want her to go… let her go, please. She deserves it,” Fester finished. They all nodded, Yoko, taking it extremely hard. Safe to say, they all had a hug, and Wednesday walked in on it. She just watched and was thinking before she joined in. They all were hugging her back, but she accepted it. She couldn’t wait to join Enid again.

It was time for dinner and Pugsley finally joined them. He was sad he would be losing his sister, yes, but he also didn’t want her to suffer. He was still losing sleep over it of course, but he knew this was for the best. Wednesday was sat there, mute as usual and Gomez and Morticia were speaking. They were making it like a normal dinner, except that they knew Wednesday would be gone. They wouldn’t ask though, they would let it happen and they would mourn her and Enid like they usually did. Hell, she might decide to wander the halls with Enid. “Hey sis… will you haunt the house after you go?” Pugsley asked what was on everyone’s mind. He wanted to know. 

“If Enid is willing to go, then yes, I will be,” she answered, taking a sip of her water. Pugsley nodded. 

“Wednesday, Stormcloud, can you please text us beforehand?” Morticia asked, trying to remain strong. Wednesday saw through her, though, and she nodded.

“I will… and please… don’t act strong. I know you’re broken,” she spoke. “I am too, but I can’t live without her. She was my soul and life. I tried to help her but it was too late, Thing is moping and I know it hurts him too so please… tell him that I will miss him,” she spoke. The family nodded, a sombre mood filling the air as food soon arrived. Wednesday decided to have the most expensive steak. It was her final meal after all. She kept eating, listening to her family as they talked. 

Once dinner was finished, she got up and hugged her entire family. Fester patted her back before she went off towards the graveyard. “I am joining you tonight my beloved, don’t you worry,” she spoke to Enid’s grave, putting a rose down before returning to Nevermore. That was when she reached her room and set up a noose directly in the middle of her room. She put on Enid’s clothes beforehand too, and got the chair ready. That was when she texted her family. ‘Goodbye. I decided to do it a few hours early. I shall haunt you’ the text read. She then turned off her phone and chucked it off her balcony.

“My beloved, I shall join you now,” Wednesday spoke aloud, kicking the chair harshly. From there she was hanging. Wednesday loved the pain, it was better than the constant chest and heart pains she got. She was quickly choking. After 5 minutes, she took her final breath, and in her death, she smiled. She was finally seeing Enid again. She couldn’t wait.

[dark-night-star-light]

Spirit Animals: Tales of the Great Beasts: Ninani's Nectar (Reread pt. 19)

DISCLAIMER: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FIRST AND SECOND SERIES AND THE BOOK OF SHANE.

Masterpost

The rest of the Tales of the Great Beasts Reread

"Tepin realized that he was actually lying on water, drifting backward. The current was picking up speed. He turned around and gasped, just in time to see the edge of a waterfall flash into view. With a scream, Tepin plunged over the side" (2). I love how we're told that Briggan is like. The dream Great Beast. But canonically, they can all control dreams. That is so funny.

Right now I'm wondering why the heck this guy is getting these dreams. What. Why him??? Why is he special?

"But there was something familiar about the bird" (3). Yeah, I would fucking hope so. She's a Great Beast.

It's genuinely so interesting that they decided to go the route of "Tepin doesn't have a spirit animal" for the story. Obviously, I adore spirit animals, but genuinely, this was refreshing.

"But Ifa was sick, and her illness had become serious enough that she had been taken to live with the village’s healer" (3). Wondering when she summoned Cachi. Had to have been recent, right? Or does bonding sickness take time to set it???

"The first time Gobe had tried climbing, he made it all the way up without looking down. Tepin’s father had never seemed prouder" (5). Jealous siblings, my beloved. I love that trope. It slaps pretty much every time. The parent favoritism . . . the angst . . . the need to be perfect . . .

Honestly, it's kind of sad that they never resolve this tension between Tepin, Gobe, and their father. Could've been a cool character moment. Like. They're just going to leave the strained relationship strained???

"Of their father’s alpacas, Shumbi was Tepin’s favorite. She was usually the first awake too. And the first to bleat in the early morning light, crying for her breakfast. For that reason, she was Gobe’s least favorite anything" (5). Gobe's just like me for real.

"Cachi, you know what to do," Tepin said. But Cachi wasn’t acting like himself. He burrowed into Tepin’s own bed" (6). The idea htat you can get the bonding sickness later is so heartbreaking. Imagine you summon a spirit animal with no bonding sickness. So you think you must be one of the lucky ones that escaped without it. You begin to enjoy your spirit animal and the perks that come with it. But then it hits you. And it only gets worse with time.

"Tepin knew little about the mysterious woman. Only that she was newly home from a great war" (6). Is nobody educating these children on the First Devourer War??? Are they all trying to pretend it didn't happen or something???

"Greencloaks were supposed to be good, not evil. Everyone knew that" (6). I love how this is like. The thesis statement of the entire series.

"'She hasn’t come out of her house since she first returned from Stetriol'" (7). So then they do know that she was in Stetriol? But no other details about the war? Also, I'm wondering when Stetriol was wiped off the map. Did the actual Greencloaks that fought in the war even have a say in that, or was it the new generation of Greencloaks that did that? Because it seems like everyone is still aware of what that it right now.

I love how Anyati is like. The village's healer, but everyone also thinks she's a witch. Like, yeah, send her all your sick and injured, but also talk behind her back about how she's a witch because she . . . collects things to make. Medicine. This village is so silly.

"Was it something the Greencloak was doing?" (7). I love how for half this book, Tepin is scared to death of Anyati because he heard a rumor about her from his brother who he doesn't even like. That is such peak pre-teen behavior.

"'I have dreams much bigger than this mountain. One day I hope to travel all across Erdas, selling my carpets as I go'" (9). I love how Ifa didn't even want to be a Greencloak. She just wanted to chill out. I feel like that's so much more tragic, since Greencloaks are supposed to be seen as heroes that risk their lives, but Ifa literally just wanted a quiet life.

Okay, so. We all agree that Anyati keeps her place creepy on purpose, right? Like. She does that very much on purpose. She's trying to spread these rumors about herself. This is so funny. Like, she's so stereotypically witchy that she has to be trying to do this. I love her so much.

"It was headed for his neck! Tepin screamed louder, trying to shake the animal off of him. He didn’t want to find out if the bat sucked blood, as Gobe claimed" (13). See, the funny thing is, vampire bats don't even drink human blood. They exclusively drink animal blood.

"Tepin could see why people might think Anyati was a witch. But as best as he could tell, she was sincerely trying to help Ifa" (14). I love how not even a full page ago, he was accusing her of making Ifa sick. He literally changes his mind because he saw her examine Ifa's blood. That's what changed his mind. Honestly, Tepin needs to commit to his belief that Anyati's a witch. It would be so funny if he thought Anyati was examining Ifa's blood to decide what potion to make out of it or something.

"'It’s bonding sickness,' the Greencloak muttered, almost to herself" (14). She doesn't know this already? How long has Ifa been with her?

Tepin is so silly. Anyati asks him if Ifa's been having weird dreams and he just goes, "Well, I had a weird dream" (not a quote, a paraphrase).

Anyati's response to Tepin talking about his dream is so funny. Like, pop off, girlie, I would say that, too.

"'Ninani sided with the Four Fallen— with Briggan, Uraza, Jhi, and Essix—though she didn’t join them in the final battle against the Devourer. She blamed the Bile for the war. At least, that’s the story I was told.' Tepin didn’t know anything about the Bile, aside from what the Greencloak had told their village when she returned from the far-off continent of Stetriol" (17). Okay, so this means that Tepin (and assumedly the rest of the village) have a baseline level of knowledge about the war, right? Also, I think it's so interesting how they talk about Stetriol relatively normally. Like, there's no talk of wiping it off the map yet? Huh.

"'The swan revealed herself to me!' Tepin argued. 'She was waiting at the top of a waterfall. She must want to be found'" (17). Yeah, but . . . why? Why did Ninani choose Tepin of all people? (My personal theory is that since Ninani is the giver of Nectar, she also has the ability to tell whether someone will be able to summon a spirit animal or not. Maybe she chose Tepin because she knew he'd be the next in the village to summon a spirit animal and she wanted to save him from the bonding sickness with her Nectar before anyone else??? Not confirmed, but it makes some sense, I guess.)

Honestly, the relationship writing is a little bit lax for me. Like Tepin is so willing to immediately risk his life for Ifa, which, yeah, she's his friend, but, like. Come on. This is a little extreme. We saw one conversation between them where we're sort of explicitly told that they're friends, and it was sweet, but this seems a little too much. Tepin had no second thoughts about charging straight into a dangerous forest on the chance that Ninani would be able to cure Ifa. There should've been more scenes of Ifa and Tepin's relationship to really flesh it out and make it more dimensional. Maybe Tepin saw the sibling he never had in Gobe in Ifa, instead. Maybe he was scared to lose her because he knows he won't find that same love in his father or brother. Or maybe he confided in her about his issues with his father's favoritism or something that makes their relationship have more depth. Also, this is a kid that's not even old enough to have a spirit animal yet. I get that he's supposed to be noble, but it just falls flat for me.

[cut because block limit]

"'What do you want?' Tepin screamed in the animal’s direction" (20). Tepin: I know there's an animal hunting me, stalking me, trailing me for half a mile. Or more. Also Tepin: *screams at it* Some more peak pre-teen behavior from our silly little guy. I love him so much.

"He hurried toward the sound, and eventually the thick forest gave way to the moonlit water" (20). Friendly reminder that this dork (/aff) didn't even wait until morning. It's the middle of the night right now.

"The animal cocked its head to one side. There was a yellow patch of hair on its neck, like a small bib. Whatever the creature was, it didn’t seem to want to harm Tepin" (21). I wonder what animal this is.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Tepin never expresses a desire to have a spirit animal. And this is before he knew about the bonding sickness. That seems interesting.

"The boy opened his eyes to see what was biting him. His body had drifted into the branches of a fallen tree, which stabbed at his skin and clothes" (22). Okay, that was Tonga, right? Tonga saved him??? Is this confirmed?

"'Will it save me?' he asked the swan. Ninani nodded gracefully. The marble stone was as heavy as a granadilla fruit. It seemed to glow in the boy’s hand. 'Will it save Ifa?' Tepin asked. But when he looked up, the swan was already gone" (23). The foreshadowing . . . also this is definitely strengthening my theory that Ninani reached out to Tepin of all people because she knew he was going to be the next in the village to summon a spirit animal and wanted to save him from the bonding sickness.

"Tepin watched Anyati’s strained face as Tonga sucked her blood" (24). I get what the writers were trying to do, but vampire bats don't drink human blood.

"It must have been a long time since anyone had shown the secretive Greencloak any affection" (26). This is so sad. I wonder why she isolated herself. Maybe because of the war? Maybe she didn't want to constantly explain her trauma to other people or something?

"Perhaps it was he who had killed her? Tepin had greedily taken all of the Great Beast’s power, leaving nothing to save Ifa" (26). Oh, this poor kid. I don;t know how to explain it, but this almost feels like survivor's guilt? Like a mix of guilt and grief.

"'Why do you assume it’s the human who chooses the animal?' the Greencloak asked the boy. 'Or that there’s any choice at all?'" (27). You know, considering pretty much every village or town has someone that's summoned a spirit animal, it's really strange that Tepin doesn't know how it works. But I guess maybe that's how it was before the Bile, when people's spirit animals just appeared out of nowhere and there was no ceremony?

"'There is . . . pain best left behind in war. It isn’t easily shared with those who don’t know it themselves. There are things I have to live with that will die with me. Understand?'" (28). YOOOOOOOO, I predicted it??? The reason she cut herself off from everyone else in the village?

"Tepin walked straight up to the waterfall’s edge. Once he reached the sheer face of the stone, he took a deep breath and began to climb. He had seen his brother do it every morning. Except the cliff was always dry when Gobe scaled it" (29). Look, I get that this is a short story, but I still think it's completely unreasonable that Tepin goes from never having climbed a cliff to climbing a steep, soaking wet, tall one. Couldn't there have been some scenes where he tries to climb other cliffs, maybe in the jungle or something, and fails, but now he knows he can't do that, which motivates him to abandon his fear? It's not just about fear; there's also like. The sheer skill of climbing a cliff face.

"'Pull with your arms and push with your legs,' Gobe had told him once" (29). Rollan-Gobe parallels??? Rollan says something super similar in The Dragon's Eye.

"'The harm caused by the war is permanent. The natural bonds between humans and animals have been jeopardized for generations to come. Perhaps forever" (32). The writers will always be geniuses for making it so that the Bile caused the bonding sickness, but is also able to heal it. That is the most awesome full-circle worldbuilding thing they could have done. Like, it just shows that nothing, not even the Bile, is completely bad.

"Fleshy white flowers sweetened the misty air. Ninani picked one of the flowers with her huge black beak and dropped it at the boy’s feet" (32). It's so interesting how the Bile and the Nectar work differently in terms of creation. The Bile worked by submerging it in water, which turned to Bile, but the Nectar literally creates flowers. Out of nowhere. There's something there somewhere, I know it.

"His mouth filled immediately with the sweet memory of granadilla fruit" (32). It's cute how the way Tepin experiences the Nectar ties back to his earliest memories of Anyati.

"'If I have to devote the rest of my life to it,' he said, 'I will keep your talisman safe, and bring this gift to all who need it'" (34). Gotta love the irony there. At this point in time, it's well-known what Stetriol is. So did they wipe them off the map after this incident because they didn't want them to have the Nectar? Hmmmmm . . .

"'Thank you . . . my Keeper,' she said finally" (34). I am an idiot for not realizing that the Keeper is. The Keeper of the Nectar. Wow. Good job, me.

Also, Tepin's tayra doesn't have a canon name??? Awwww.

"Wherever the Nectar of Ninani goes, may you also follow" (34). Okay, that was cute as hell.

Final thoughts and rating:

I loved the journey Tepin went through . . . in theory. Though I do think it was a bit rushed, he did have a nice character arc. Anyati is such a great character, and I love the subtle themes of trauma and isolation that are attached to her character. Tepin summoning a tayra after having been saved by one was a neat touch. I really liked that. I think Ifa could have been a great character if fleshed out more, and I liked the way Tepin grieved for her. That last line definitely hit me so hard, with what and the parallels between the Nectar, which couldn't save Ifa, and Ifa, who wanted to travel the world like the Nectar will now do. That was definitely an awesome decision on the writer's part.

I didn't like that Tepin's family life issues were never really resolved or talked about. His dad clearly has a case of favoritism, and Tepin's relationship with his brother needed more fleshing out. They should've taken it out if they didn't have the room for it, in my opinion. I also think Ifa and Tepin's relationship needed some serious fleshing out. It had no depth to it and felt completely flat. The readers need to understand why Tepin would do such a noble thing for her, especially considering his age, and their relationship doesn't really back that up for me. Tepin's arc was also way too rushed. He needed some time to fail and fail again before he could succeed. The fact that Ninani reached out to Tepin specifically also needed a reason. It just seems like she chose him randomly, because there story doesn't bother with an explanation for that.

Rating: 7/10

[j0kers-light]

Chapter 21 review

Chile why you not giving us more details on readers pass😩🙄 got me all excited to finally hear what happened to her and just to get cliffhangered😭😭

I’m surprised joker ain’t stab Morgana when he seen her😂 reader really is changing joker for the better without her knowing

I feel like Florence is dead even though there’s another side of me saying she is. But it just doesn’t make sense to kill Florence and let Morgana live since they know about him🧐 I at first thought since joker told neo to handle Florence that Neo would just kidnap and hide her but then in the chapter joker said he had to handle the whole Florence situation so I’m guessing he killed her. (By the way I don’t really care if she’s dead or alive in my opinion🤷🏽‍♀️ after how she treated reader I give less fucks about her🙄🤣)

I know you said there was going to be a new person in the story which I didn’t think it was the nurse Sarai I thought it would be a a certain clown girl🤡 herself from jokers past🫣🤔

Look I’m really REALLY trying to like Bruce in this story but he makes it SO difficult 😤 but reader LITERALLY said she didn’t see him that way and she was with some other dude and he ain’t taking the hint🤦🏽‍♀️

MY THEORY: I think for the next chapter Florence is dead which will affect joker and readers relationship to downfall. She gets mad at him curse him out blah blah blah and she says she don’t want to deal with him anymore which makes him sad and turn himself into the GCPD police since he feels like he don’t want to cause anymore heartache and problems for her and can’t move on in life without his light✨😩

I ain’t gonna like I would like both their exes to come at some point to fuck some shit up. Whoever the guy was to fuck yo the readers mental so bad I hope joker give him a slow death where the reader participates in killing him😈 Harley Quinn is literally my favorite villain or all time and if she is going to be in the story if she goes against reader it is going to be heartbreaking 💔 🥲

That’s all just wanted to share my thoughts ✌🏽🫶🏽

Hey hi anon!!

I love love love love your thoughts!! You are close but not quite on the money 🤭

This story is far from being over beloved!

I like cliffhangers lol but there’s a reason why I’m dragging Y/n’s past out. It will be confirmed next chapter but resolved much later.

Joker is learning patience and how to better understand other people’s emotions from Y/n! Joker was ready to snatch Morgana up but he stopped himself. He listened to what she had to say and he definitely can’t kill her now since his Light warned him not to. She said, “You hurt my friends..” plural. Joker in trouble.

Now onto the Flo/Morgana situation. Morgana is smart. She’s keeping her mouth shut and proving her worth as a friend to stay in good with J. Florence on the other hand is threatening to expose Joker to the authorities on top of yelling at his Bunny AND she made you cry which is the catalyst for you having your PTSD episode. You were stressed from that interaction and couldn't handle when Bruce accidentally said your trigger. She has a lot more tally marks against her than Morgana does.

I will say this: Florence left your apartment building alive.

Sarai isn’t a new character, she’s a returning role from chapter 7 🤭 So the new character is still at large.

And yes, Harley Quinn will make an appearance in His Lighthouse. I love her too much not to include her.

I love Bruce and in any other story I'd root for him BUT! I needed a male anti character and......... *stares at Bruce* you're up babe.

Now this next chapter theory of yours 🤭 I love you but

Joker does surrender to the GCPD but its not time for depressed J yet. Him and Y/n are still going strong. Two more hurdles gotta happen for Joker to feel like he’s backed into the corner and forced to surrender.

The theory on exes. Oh boy. Y/n's ex has a big role here.. and he's not done. 👀

[falling-inn-mmyy-wooorrlddd]

Wish you were still here.

As you wake up, for just one split second, your mind jumbles your dreams with reality, leaving you unable to distinguish between what is “real” and what occurred only in dreamland. For just a moment, you’re back in an alternate universe, a universe in which your loved one was still alive. Shes  asking you to pour her cereal. Shes wearing the familiar grey sweater vest that you remember with such clarity. She hugged you and asked you’re home now?

And then you wake up, and in those few dazed seconds, you slowly feel your heart break again. Because you realize that it was a dream and that it was all in your head. The grey sweater vest, the hug, and the way life used to be only exist in the past and in your memories. And you are faced, once again, with the stark realization that your loved one is still gone.

Grief shows up in unexpected places when you least expect it. It emerges from the shadows even in the moments in which you thought you were “doing okay.” You’ll be watching a movie, and suddenly notice the silent tears sliding down your cheeks. Or someone will tell you a story or do something that reminds you of the person you lost, and suddenly the weight of the world will be back on your shoulders. And other times, grief’s heaviness will drown you. You’ll wave your arms over your head, praying that someone will send you a lifeboat to get you out of these tumultuous seas.

Other people will certainly be there to hold your hand and to love and support you. But the truth is, grief is a very lonely feeling. A feeling which no one can really save you from. And there are no “right words” that will truly suffice in a time of such pain and heartbreak. There are no words that can honor or recognize the immensity of the loss you are experiencing. And perhaps the inconsolable nature of grief is what makes it so difficult.

Grief shakes up our world so much that we shatter into broken pieces, like fragmented slivers of mosaic glass. The world as we once knew it now appears strikingly different, its pieces broken and rearranged in an unfamiliar pattern. And we are faced with the daunting truth that it would be impossible to put the broken shards of glass back together, as some are missing, and some are simply too small to find. Some are lost; gone for good

And this is what loss does to us. It shifts our reality. It doesn’t allow us to return to “normal,” because our ‘“old normal” no longer exists. Our world has changed, as it now lacks someone irreplaceable, someone, who was extraordinarily special. Our world has suffered a great loss. And so have we, which makes change inevitable. We have lost someone who meant the universe to us.

As much as we wish we could heal and move on, we are confronted with unavoidable darkness, a darkness that will not be easily resolved. And rather than trying to rush healing, we must face the very sobering truth that sometimes tragedies happen, and we can’t make them better, at least not immediately.

I love you so much and the last two weeks without have been hard. I miss you so much, I wish I could speak to you one last time. I hope you are at peace.

[naavispider]

God, the moment with Spider speaking into the communicator was so heartbreaking. Quaritch must have gotten so hopeful for a second, only to have it ripped out of him immediate after. I can imagine him trying desperately to reach Spider, screaming into the damned device only to be left with total silence, their conflict never truly resolved. I’ll go sob 😭

If you’re willing (though you of course don’t have to), could you perhaps write us a tiny scenario where Spider does talk to Quaritch through the communicator? Perhaps even tells him where he is and rides off with the colonel willingly?

“Quaritch?” Spider’s shaky voice echoed into the void.

“Spider?” The voice that returned to him was sharp, panicked, precise - a knife to the heart. It cut deeply and without mercy. It was painful, it was deadly. Spider's breath caught. “Come on, talk to me son, where are you?”

He… he didn’t know what to do. Quaritch had killed Neteyam, he had almost killed Kiri…

And Spider missed him.

It was impossible. A single tear wound its way out of Spider’s eye as the pain overcame his longing.

“You killed Neteyam,” he whispered, voice barely audible even to him.

A pause. What was running through Quaritch’s mind? Spider couldn’t even picture the man’s face. He was like a memory from years ago, a blurry picture without defined edges. He waited, like he was so used to doing, for Quaritch to make it right. A wave battered his feet where he was crouched.

“Not me kid.”

Spider waited for Quaritch to continue, but nothing more followed. He should have assumed Quaritch would go with this line.

“Yes, you were firing at us.”

“How can you be sure it was me?”

Wow… Spider had not anticipated that. Of course it had been Quaritch. He brought his hand away from the communicator and stared out at the powerful sea surrounding him.

As much as hated to question it, had he actually seen Quaritch shoot the fatal wound? Spider had jumped into the moon pool before Neteyam did, and his brother was still uninjured when he and Lo’ak dived.

He couldn’t be sure.

“Kid? You still with me?”

“You were going to kill Kiri!” Spider threw back angrily, unwilling to be defeated.

“Sully would have given himself up, kid. I would never have had to do that. Now enough with the 20 questions, where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

No. If Quaritch thought that was what was happening here, he had another thing coming.

“You can get wrecked,” Spider muttered in dark exasperation. It wasn’t enough - it would never truly express the depths of his anger towards the man - but it felt good to unleash just a tiny, tiny part of it. Why did it also feel good to picture the man’s scowl on the other end of the line? Why did it buoy his heart, infintesimally?

Fuck.

“Spider.”

Spider didn't know what to say. He cast around for something that would cover the majority of his emotional range. “I wish today never happened,” he settled on, saying it quietly, softly, as if it would make it come true.

“Me too, kid.”

A pause.

“Why did you give up Kiri?”

“Why did you pull me out of the ship?”

Spider closed his eyes. A tornado was raging inside his heart. An inferno of conflicting emotions. He pulled Quaritch out of the water because he didn't want another death on his hands. Had there been any other reason? Deep down Spider knew the answer. He had done such a good job at lying to himself while he was under the ocean, convincing his consciousness that he was only doing it so as not to be a murderer-by-association. But now? The damn had broken, the wall inside Spider's mind had crumbled so spectacularly it left clouds of self hatred fogging his brain.

He didn't want Quaritch to die.

He wanted Quaritch to live.

Frustration growled its way out of his mouth as he groaned at the sky.

"I'm on a rock... a few hundred feet south of the shipwreck."

"Sit tight kid."

[taylorsverslon]

Well, it doesn't go unnoticed which is something I hope you know. Yeah, I do know that but there are certain people in the industry who still throw criticism at that. I'm beyond grateful that you and I have always connected on that level and have a mutual understanding that music is our lifeline. Sometimes those things need to be said in order to heal. Thank you so much! It's been so much fun being able to get into the studio and record these songs I'd always assumed would never see the light of day. Do you have any secret Harry songs the world has yet to see? The leaks! How on earth has that been happening? Are you okay? I know some things are deeply personal and having them released to the world without your permission is heartbreaking. You don't own me any apologise either. I understand that frustration needs to be released and you just so happen to do it in an artistic manner. We're similiar that way. I'm sorry your stuff keeps getting out though. I'm here if you ever want to talk about it. Yeah, we're definitely resolved. I could never go through my life hating you! You're far too kind so having you as a friend is the best thing that could have happened. Yeah, it was a complex situation but it's over now so moving forward. Yeah, time off feels so strange. I'm definitely not used to it but I'm looking forward to it. I'm actually in London right now funnily enough. You know me, Styles. I'm not always the funniest person in the room but I have a few jokes up my sleeve. However, it's no match for you and those terrible knock knock jokes you were always so fond of. When are you coming down to London? Maybe we could grab lunch before I head back home and I can pass you the hats in person. I'm sure your family will be elated to have you back home for the holidays. It'll take some getting used to. I mean, you've always had relatively long hair that you can at least run your fingers through. The buzz cut does suit you though. Brave, really. What was the inspiration? Or had you just grown bored one night and decided to do it in the moment?

I try my best to always do better. Why of course, songwriting is our own personal form of therapy, only we can fully understand it, I could never hold it against you, Taylor. I did do the same, we both know it’s true. I love what you're doing with rerecording your music, and the little twist of putting songs that didn't make the cut before, amazing work, all the props to you, you really don't own me an apology for anything, if that was the case I'm owning you quite a few with the couple of leaks I had this last year. It's in the past, and we are both well resolved, I think, and I'm m thankful that we get to be friendly after all these years, and that's what trully matters to me. Oh yeah, I've heard about Brazil, I'm sorry, that's a terrible situation to go through, sending you all the love. You get some time off now right? To recharge and enjoy the holidays? A birhtday coming up? Ah! Look at her, she got jokes! Very funny, you are. I have been enjoying myself, yes, LA has been wonderful so far, can't lie that I'm looking forward to get back to London for Christmas though, where those hats will be very welcomed and needed, just saying. It's quite freeing, I've been loving it so far, sometimes I find myself brushing aside the hair that I no longer have, so it's a process getting used to it, after so many years with longer hair.