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#I know it’s weird but hey a coping mechanism is a coping mechanism
fisheito · 6 months
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Me: Everything i make is garbage i shouldn't even bother
The eiden in my head:
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Me: Sorry eiden you're right my efforts have value
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I don't know if it's my brain subconsciously going 'We're so fucking tired of your current obsession/coping mechanism, can we PLEASE MOVE ON ALREADY!?', but sometimes while I'm enjoying listening to/reading about/'researching' my current obsession/coping mechanism (usually a band, like right now - for the past year and a half), I'll have a moment every once and a while where I think about it, 'This is so fucking stupid, and it's so stupid that it makes you happy. You don't even talk to or engage with anyone about this so WHO FUCKING CARES?!' and I get really, really depressed for that moment. Even though I try to think critically about those thoughts to stop them from making me depressed, they usually do manage to make me hate my obsession or be ashamed of it for at least a day. And those are always rather dark days for me, because usually it's whatever I'm obsessed with that gives me at least an hour or two every day where I'm EXCITED to be alive to engage with it, and if I don't have that, then I'm not excited about anything, and therefore I don't think that day is worthwhile enough to exist through. So I don't know what to do about those thoughts beyond thinking critically about them [to stop them from dissuading me from my obsession], because even when I do, they still usually manage to 'win' for at least a little while.
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foone · 2 years
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I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"
But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.
Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!
I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.
Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.
Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)
And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.
You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.
So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?
My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.
(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)
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tim-drake-scholar · 6 months
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I think Bruce Wayne is a loving parent, but not a good one. He is a psychologically tormented person who never got over his trauma or developed any healthy coping mechanisms but he just keeps ending up with them and doesn’t really know what to do with the kids except what has always ‘worked for him’?
Like Dick’s parents die right in front of him and Bruce is just “hey kid, my parents died in front of me too. And you know what helped me? Punching bad guys.”
And Jason? He finds this kid stealing his tires and he’s not afraid of Batman. He doesn’t seem afraid of anything. He’s got a big heart and cares a lot about people, but no one cares about him. But he’s got a strong sense of justice So Bruce looks at the kid and goes, “hey kid, you seem lost. You know what helps me when I’m feeling lost? Punching bad guys.”
With tim it’s a little more complicated. Bc this kid showed up at his front door and put him in a corner (tim saved him) and Bruce went, “hey kid, you seem pretty good at this. I do encourage you to find a different extracurricular activity… but yes, you can punch bad guys with me.”
And with Damian it’s even more complicated but in simplest terms Bruce and Dick look at Damian and go, “hey kid, you seem like you have some issues and a weird moral compass. Do you know what makes me feel better? Punching bad guys.”
Like shit bruce I’m no expert but maybe some talk therapy or grief counselling might help. you cant just "punch bad guys to cope with your feelings" your way out of this one
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icarusredwings · 21 days
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Thinking about Wade's life and his mental health issues a lot, and I just thought about this. Not only being abused, but his entire brain being made out of cancer, and the fact that oxygen was physically taken from his brain over the course of 2+ days multiple times?
We see him coloring a lot and claim multiple times that he doesn't/ can't read (this is probably a bit, I guarantee he can read), but it had me thinking what if some days were more childish then others as part of his coping mechanisms?
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At first, Logans was really confused about why Althea puts up with it until he realizes that it's extremely good for him to just... be taken care of? Praised and given affection for the bare minimum? He thinks it's weird. This wasn't the same man he was fighting with yesterday.
Coming into the living room, he sees Wade sprawled out with crayons and markers all around him with multiple pictures already coloured, his notebook having pages ripped out of it as he kicks his feet and hums.
On the tv, there are cartoons playing. Once in a while, he'll look up at the tv and then go back to coloring. "What are you doing??"
"Hi wolvie. 'm colouring."
"He's behaving, so don't ruin it." Al says. There's pictures by her, and she is holding a box of cereal.
"O..kay??" Sitting down, he's almost too curious to just walk away, picking up puppins so she doesn't ruin his drawings, petting her confusedly.
Sometimes, Al will hold out some cereal in her hand. "Wade." And he will see him shimmy over and take the cereal. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, baby."
As hes scooting back to his color spot he stops and watches the tv for a bit longer then usual.
"...What.. the fuck." Logan says to her and she gives him a brow raise. "What?"
"What is he doing?"
"He's coloring. And I thought I was the blind one."
"No no I mean.. those aren't murder plans. That's puppins."
"Yes? And?"
"And.. what did you do to him?"
"Treated him like a human being. Give it a try once inawhile." She says, and he comes back with more pictures, climbing in between them with no regard for space as he leans into her.
"Oh thank you. What is it?"
"It's you."
"Oh? How sweet. Do I look good?"
"Mhm!"
"Im glad. How about you show our friend here your amazing pictures. And he better be nice!"
So wade turns and now is leaning on logan as he points to a different picture. One of Logan with Puppins on a leash with a sun in the corner and crappy grass, a hearts all over the place.
At first he wants to tell him to get off of him, but seeing the pictures and how excited his eyes were to show him, it hits him and he understands.
".. uhm.. thank you?" But he puts it back in his hand. "Oh- you want me to keep it?"
Wade nods and starts cleaning up his crayons.
Logan turns to whisper to Al "How long does this go on?"
"About 2 hours or so."
"Why?"
"God only knows, but it helps with his nightmares."
"Colouring helps with his nightmares??"
"Its more then that. Hey sweetheart? Why don't you bring your ponys out."
"Theyre horses."
"Oh im sorry, my mistake. I think logan here wants to play horses."
Logan gives her a look like excuse me? When did I sign up for that? "No.. uhm.. I think im good."
Wade gets this look of sad innocence but goes to get them anyway, beginning to play by himself, brushing them and making them talk to each other quietly. As if he speaks any louder, he would get hit.
Logan groans and is like "Gimme a fucking horse.."
From then on, Logan is quick to understand what's happening and is much nicer to him, starts giving him snacks, buying him actual coloring books, and has pinned his drawings to the fridge each time he's gifted one. His horses name is Buttercup, by the way.
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konigsblog · 4 months
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I, personally, hate the r@pe things you write.
I feel very strongly about SA and I know my feelings aren't your priority. I used to read your stuff a lot then actually ended up blocking you, but I decided to unblock you for this message.
I know a lot of people use this as a coping mechanism if they ARE victims, but hey, to each their own. You can't save everybody.
I just don't fuck with it. It's not my forte, but I know, deep down, you're not a bad person. Your brain just doesn't completely function. I, myself, have weird fantasies about military men and serial killers, but only about one's from shows, movies, or basically anyone fictional. I, myself, am extremely weird and I think I have a few mental disorders but I haven't gotten tested.
The things you write are vial, disgusting, and down right crazy, but hey, I used to fantasize about r@pe and honestly can't even imagine myself fantasizing about being violated now. I guess I've healed in a way or whatever, but I'm still into rough play and knives and such.
What im trying to say is, I feel for you and don't like your stuff at the same time. Nobody with a normal functioning, properly working brain is into what your into. It's just plain wrong. But that doesn't mean you're bad. You're just...mentally unput. Or, that's my assumption from first hand experience.
I just feel like your brain is messed up. Not in a quirky " I'm so twisted⛓️" way, but there's actually something wrong in there. Like, you're actually missin' a few dozen screws.
I have awful intrusive thoughts about hurting, killing, and/or fornicating with them and I hate this because it's a mental battle that honestly makes me wanna commit, which is why I feel so strongly about r@pe, especially as someone who gets catcalled a lot, and I am in dangerous situations often.
R@pe is worse than murder in my opinion because you can't hurt once you're done and dead, but being a survivor is an actual psychological battle that's torture, and torture is ALSO worse than murder.
I'm glad to know you don't actually support real SA and have some actual boundaries unlike the tons of idiots that I've blocked that do. Most of them have never even come close to experiencing SA, or just plain don't care.
I just think you feel this way because an actual issue with your brain. I don't mean this hatefully, even though I hate what you write. But that's just my analysis. But I am curious to know what made you this way.
you're a disgusting piece of shit, you don't know me, and let's keep it that way
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ash5monster01 · 6 months
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Cold Spring Harbor
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Chapter One - She’s Got A Way 🎶
Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader
Warnings: fluff, instant attraction, invisible string theory, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death, coping mechanisms
Summary: Just when Steve figures he’s bound to be alone the rest of his life, somehow he finds you, and for some reason just being near you makes him feel much less alone in the world.
word count: 2k
→ Two
Masterlist
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Spring 1985
She's got a way of showin', how I make her feel
Steve hated being sad. Yet for the last six months that was all he had felt. He should be over it by now. He wished he was over it, but everyday he went to school just to see Nancy with Johnathon and know everything that he lost. He had given up his friends for her, and when she gave him up for Johnathon, he had no one left. No happy family to come home to, and no friends to spend time with, especially no girlfriend to love. Maybe that was why it was so hard to get over her, because she was the only person he had left and she left him too.
So he woke up on the first day of spring break, no parents, no plans, no one at all. It didn’t matter that the first warm sun was shining through his window and the birds chirped happily outside. He figured he would always be alone and he was still just as miserable as before. The only person he did have was Dustin but how many times can you ask a middle schooler to hang out before it gets weird? Steve didn’t want to find out.
He wasn’t going to last all of spring break like this so he was going to do the only thing that made him feel better. The only thing that gave him enough motivation to get out of bed and get ready for the day. So it’s not long until he is walking out the front door and towards his car. Yet before he unlocked it he stopped, eyes glancing into the bright blue sky, and deciding against the drive. It was sunny and almost seventy, plus a walk would be good for him. So he stuffed the keys back in his pocket and started down the road.
Town was half empty once he got there, signs showing that the new mall being built was already taking away business. It was sad to see the town that once was so busy become a shell of nothing. Kind of like him he supposed. Yet the sight of the familiar blue door eased his mind as he pushed in the one place he hoped would be here forever.
“Hey man, long time no see” Ron, the owner smiles from behind the register. Steve matches the smile right back even though he doesn’t feel it. He wished he did.
“Hey Ron, how’s business been?” he asks, eyeing the various shelves throughout the room.
“I wish I could say busy, but ever since word got out that Sam Goody was being built in the mall, no one really cares about Ron’s Records anymore” he says and Steve nods, his throat tightening at the thought.
“I’m sorry about that man, you know I’ll be a customer for life” he tells him and Ron nods, smiling at the boys kindness.
“You and your Grandpa both” Ron says kindly and Steve has to look away before tears form in his eyes.
“I’m gonna check some records out” Steve tells him and Ron nods as he moves to the section he knows it will be at.
Finally reaching the B’s his fingers start skimming the records. It feels like he’s passed a hundred Barry Manilow records by the time he reaches exactly what he’s looking for. Smiling to himself he scans which ones are there, determined what would be the best to listen to. Something that for an entire forty minutes could make him feel much less lonely in this world.
“Billy Joel huh?” Steve looks up and nearly freezes. There you are, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, and something about the world stops. He’s not one to be shy but it’s as if the words somehow can’t leave his mouth. There was just something about you. “Since when do boys your age listen to Billy Joel?”
“Hey, he’s still rock n’ roll to me” Steve defends, and it’s cheesy. He knows that, but it doesn’t stop you from laughing. You’re wearing the most perfect smile he’s ever seen and he wants to make you do it again.
“I’m not saying he isn’t, just most guys these days don’t know good music anymore” you say, pulling the record out of his hands and he almost gasps at the way your fingers feel against his.
“Well good music to me is just Billy, always has been” he says and you give him a small nod, smile still on your face. He briefly wonders what it could be about you that makes him suddenly so content.
“Cold Spring Harbor? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it” you say and Steve’s heart clenches.
“It’s his first album, he was only 22 when he wrote it. It’s one of my favorites” Steve tells you and the mischievous grin you give him makes his heart stutter in his chest.
“Well let’s listen to it” you tell him, hand grabbing his own, and leading him to the front of the building. In the front window there’s two chairs and small record player in between. They had been there for as long as Steve could remember, he had sat in them hundreds of times. He sits in his, the one chair he always sat in, and you sit, well in the other. His throat dries as he sees you sit across from him in the chair that had been empty for many years.
“What’s your favorite track?” you muse, hands delicately working to pull the record from its sleeve and place it on the player.
"The first one, She's Got A Way. It was my Grandpa's favorite, the first Billy song he ever played me" Steve says, looking off onto the rows and rows of records. Remembering a time when he was just short enough to be the same height as them. Rushing around and looking for the most colorful covers while his Grandpa went straight to the B's. Then he'd sit in the very chair he was now, ankles just barely hanging over the edge as his Grandpa played him song after song, in the very seat you were sitting in now.
"So that's where it comes from" you muse, the record spinning as you turn on the machine. Steve watches as you set the needle on the record, sratching till it finds its groove, and fills the silence between you both.
"Why is it his favorite?" you ask after a few moments, watching the boy as he let's the words sink in.
"He claimed it was the only song he ever heard that perfectly described how he felt about my Grandmother. How the right women could completley turn you around and heal you when you least expect it" Steve smiles fondly as he repeats those words he hadn't in a very long time.
"A charmer, I'm sure you are too" you say and the shocked look Steve wears has you laughing lightly. It takes Steve only a second to laugh along with you, realizing just how quickly you had revealed him. It's when your laughter calms he realizes the smile on your face has eased his heart more in the last six months than anything else.
"If you must know" Steve says and you giggle again which has Steve wanting to spend more and more time with you.
"Where is this Grandpa of yours, I have a few questions for him?" you ask and Steve freezes, not expecting the words to leave your mouth. It takes him a moment to respond and you sense the discomfort and place your hand on his own. Steve nearly jumps at the electric touch that comes from it.
"He passed away when I was fifteen, right before high school" he tells you, throat tightening around the admittance.
"I'm so sorry, that's awful" you try to comfort but Steve just smiles.
"You would have loved him though. Everyone did. He was my best friend, the only family I really had that spent time with me. Since my Grandma passed when I was ten, me and him made sure to spend all of middle school together" Steve isn't entirely sure why he is telling you this, he just knows your the first person he has been this comfortable around since his Grandpa and he didn't even know your name yet. He didn’t know what it was about you but he figured there didn't need to be a reason.
"That's so sweet, he sounds so special" you tell him and Steve nods, recalling memories he hadn't allowed himself to think about for years.
"He was, just wish he was still around. He was the only person to ever be there for me, front row at every swim meet and basketball game. Was hard going through highschool knowing he was no longer in the stands, but Billy. Well that's all me and him ever talked about. So sometimes, on days like today when I miss him a little extra, I find him in the lyrics of a song" and your heart soars for the boy in front of you. A boy with a deep sadness buried within him. A boy the world hadn't given a chance yet.
"Is he there right now?" you can't help but ask, the last few lines of the song coming through the speakers on the machine. Steve listens, can practically see his Grandpa yelling at him for not making a move. ‘At least ask her name’ he groans and Steve chuckles lightly to himself.
"Yeah he's here. He always is" Steve says and you give him a smile that somehow heals him. "I'm Steve by the way"
"Nice to meet you Steve" you tell him before offering your own name and Steve finds it rattling through his head, the most beautiful name in all of existence, and somehow it belongs to you. The very girl who showed up while he was feeling down and has inspired him without a sound. The beginning notes of You Can Make Me Free fill the silence between you both and Steve sits up, realizing your hand is still atop his own.
"Sorry for spilling my guts" Steve says and you shake your head, wanting him to know that he had done nothing wrong this entire time.
"Don't be, it actually happens a lot. I seem to make people very comfortable. Guess I just got a way about me" and Steve agrees because somehow in just this short exchange you have inspired him to keep on going, reminded him that this is not the end and it won't be all bad. It is like you have some bright light around you and it gives him the strength to keep going.
"Would you maybe want to go get something to eat?" Steve finds the confidence to ask and you beam a smile brightly back at him.
"I'd love to Steve" you tell him, using his name like it now somehow belongs to you and Steve wishes it does. A million dreams of love surrounding you and for the first time since Nancy he finds himself feeling something for a girl he never thought he'd feel again. He just knows he no longer wants to live without you.
"Have fun you two" Ron calls out as you both exit, the record still playing as you both leave it behind. You talk the whole way to the small diner in town, Steve just smiles and listens, loving how everything sounds the way it comes out your mouth. It's as if every word lifts him up as you are walking.
For the rest of the day Steve does his part getting to know you. Making you laugh and flirting where necessary which never fails to make you blush. The sight of your red cheeks alone make his heart soar for you. It's cute the way you show it, exactly how you feel about him. In return you do find yourself charmed by the very boy you couldn’t resist talking to. You wondered where a sweet boy like him had been your whole life and for the first time you aren't as embarassed by the blush on your cheeks as you normally would be.
"I really like you Rosy" he says matter of fact, the nickname falling easily from his lips. You blush at his words again, shaking your head at the boy you figure you aren't getting rid of anytime soon.
"I like you too Steve"
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Taglist: @slvtforstve @keerygal @goosy-goose @livsters @blckburd @loveshotzz @ohwauwdoritos @superblysubpar @southereads @amataadriana @violet2022 @mxrcjqckspnchqsc @madaboutjoe @thunderstomp-and-tequila @justdamnpeachy @micheledawn1975 @fangfatale @kingstevesgf @notlilyyyy @eddiesguitarskills @palmtreesx3
Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))
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Caregiver Katsuki Bakugo Headcanons
A/N: Hey!!! This is my first like. Writing related post. In a WHILE. Sorry about that!! But please feel free to request anything, I’m kinda bored. :P
Warnings: Minor swearing but I think that’s it ???
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Bakugo is very aggressive. We all know this. Pretty much all the time, he’s aggressive and seemingly angry. And this does not waver or change, even when you’re regressed. So if you’re super sensitive, he probably wouldn’t be the best for you.
However, that’s not to say he doesn’t care. Quite the opposite, actually. He would die for you and actively goes out of his way to protect you.
Oh, he would get SO mad if anyone ever said anything remotely negative to you about your age regression. He wouldn’t even try to reason with them or have a debate he would straight up just tell them to kys 💀 (me core)
He does better with toddler or kid regressors, but baby regressors are fine as long as they can tolerate his naturally rough and callous behavior.
He did not know what the hell age regression was before he met you. Honestly, I feel like he’d come off as judgey at first. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just how he is. But then he’d go and research it a bit and realize that it’s not anything weird or fetishy and is instead a healthy coping mechanism.
He’s a little hesitant to be your caregiver at first. He says it’s because he isn’t sure if he wants to focus on anything other than training right now and being a caregiver is a lot of responsibility. That’s partially true. But it’s mainly really because he’s afraid he won’t be good at it and will just end up hurting you and potentially ruining one of your only healthy coping mechanisms.
It takes a lot for him to be able to open up to someone and take care of someone like that, but eventually, he does it. And he finds he enjoys it. He finds your little antics and your dependency on him really adorable.
He’s not embarrassed or ashamed that you age regress. I feel like nearly half of class 1-A regresses so it’s not unusual at all for you two to be in the common room, you sitting on his lap with a sippy cup in hand.
Sets you up on play dates with Kaminari and Mina all the time. He wants you to have fun and interact with other littles. Plus, they’re his friends and their caregivers are his friends too.
Takes a little bit to get used to nicknames as well. But finds he likes parental nicknames a lot more than he thought he would.
The first time you called him dada was something he will never forget. You were half asleep, snuggling in his chest, when you realized you were thirsty. You lazily grabbed his shirt and gently tugged on it and went, “Dada…juice…?”. He immediately knew what you wanted and he gave you the juice. He didn’t even register the nickname until a few seconds later and was really shocked. He didn’t say anything about it in the moment, though. He talked to you about it when you were big again and he clarified that he was okay with it and it didn’t make him uncomfortable.
Midoriya and Kirishima are his go-to babysitters. Mainly Midoriya because he’s more responsible than Kirishima. But Midoriya can get busy quite a lot. And Bakugo’s also a little anxious about you possibly liking Midoriya more than him, although he would rather die than admit that out loud lol.
He can cook. This is canon. This mf can cook like a 1950s housewife it is INSANE. He makes all your food for you, especially when you’re little. He likes taking care of you, even if he won’t really say it.
If you’re like me, and you tend to have really bad rage episodes and outbursts when you’re overstimulated or upset, he’s got you. He knows how to deal with that. He’s got a punching bag in his room that he lets you beat the shit out of if needed. He can make you laugh too. You’ll be beating the fuck out the punching bag and he’ll pretend like it’s a real person and say shit like “YEAH‼️‼️‼️ BEAT HIS ASS‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️” and it makes you giggle.
Surprisingly okay with physical affection. You wanna cling to him? That’s fine. Just listen to him if he tells you to get off of him. Respect his boundaries and don’t get in the way when he’s doing something important and it’s cool. 🙏
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fumifooms · 4 months
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hey i have a lore discussion for ya. so. basilisk chapter: laios is like 'wow monsters that are a mix of multiple animals are so cool! i used to have this fake monster that had all these cool attributes. but i've realized now that i'm older that it's better if a chimera only has two or three animals, instead of a bunch.' however, the Ultimate Monster has about 12 animals in it. and because chilchuck says 'i thought he grew out of this', it's clearly not a continuity error. 1/2
So. Do you think this Ultimate Monster transformation was influenced by the Winged Lion, and it's evidence that the Winged Lion was specifically preying on the fantasies of laios when he was a kid dreaming about being a monster? i've never seen anyone talk about how odd it is that despite laios saying 'chimeras are better if it's just one or two monsters', he still likes his Ultimate Monster design, and even adds the third head to it during the story. 2/2
You’re right that this is a layered topic, but no I don’t think it’s a fantasy he only had as a kid that the WL had to dig for. Below we have a EverydayHeroes Scans glossary page plus the final chimera sketch. As you said, the third head is added during the story. "That scylla sure was cool, let’s add a wolf head in there." Something which he has to note down before going to fight the Winged Lion.
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Notice the emphasis on "cool". I think the familiar chapter is the other major relevant bit for this plot thread. It shows us with no ambiguity that Laios does care about aesthetics. It shows us that he can build a monster through logic and be reasonable about it, but he’s also not immune from getting carried away.
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Ultimately, it’s still Marcille who builds the perfect familiar that succeeds for the situation, and Laios undermines it for its looks before seeing it in action. Marcille here ALSO mentions how he ‘should have grown out of this phase’.
So yes I mean, I think it’s clear that Laios’ fantasy is a fantasy, it’s not rational or logical or even something good that would work out, and even he knows that. Kind of like how when the winged lion showed him visions of a golden kingdom he reigned over during the succubus-induced dream he ended up saying "yeah… Things wouldn’t be so simple". The winged lion draws from deep seated desires, wether or not the person knows it’s stupid or that they shouldn’t, morally or otherwise, doesn’t matter. The winged lion is brute forcing through enticement for them to cave in. I don’t think Laios thinks becoming a monster would be all that he’s hoped for rationally, especially after seeing the whole chimera Falin situation. It’s like people irl saying they’d like to be a housecat and lounge all day; it’s a fantasy but not something that would really work out, as most people can acknowledge while nevertheless still keeping that pleasant daydream. The winged lion calls it out too! "If you’d wanted to be another kind of monster instead of animal, you’d be invincible right now". His preference for chimeras itself is a matter of taste and not practicality. It’s not well thought out, it’s a craving. Laios wanting to be a chimera is a soup mix of comfort fantasy and childhood coping mechanism and special interest hobby and idealization, and more.
And!!! That’s the point! What saves the world, how Laios saves the world, isn’t a flawless plan! What saves the world is Laios’ most authentic most flawedly human desires, ones he couldn’t control or repress. It’s the weird interest that everyone shamed and denigrated, his uniqueness and feeling of disconnect towards humans, that ultimately saves humanity. Because he genuinely desired becoming a monster, genuinely had that hungry curious nature in the deepest corner of his soul.
The Winged Lion doesn’t work through thoughts and the brain but through wants that are more primal, in your guts, in your heart. It doesn’t seek to checkmate you through logic, it wants you to surrender yourself willingly through manipulating your wants, your weaknesses, your emotions.
It’s like Laios’ curse at the end too, and even the succubus. If Laios were to rationally go through these desires-based trials, it’d reflect his actual wants, instead of just desires and cravings: the curse would have been that Falin can’t be revived, and his most alluring form would have been Falin safe. Dunmeshi in this way is kind of about the struggle of rising above our animality and these deep seated desires that go against productivity and what we actually want, like say, always feeling physically hungry even if you’ve eaten more than enough and knowing you should stop there. Like, it’s why we’re talking about allure and enticement.
Like aughhhh!! Why Laios got to eat desires is because he genuinely wanted to see how it tasted so bad, it wouldn’t have been granted by the lion if it wasn’t something he truly desired, like <3 it’s not something he could have simply strategized he needed to genuinely want it. It wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t plan A or B or C.
Laios my favorite fucked up cinnamon roll who saves the world through his authentic selfish desires
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But no I don’t think Winged Lion was preying on his kid fantasies as much as like. The remnants of it that are still there and repressed in him. Kinda like how Marcille’s desire is also about childhood trauma, but if it’d been processed better it might have been different. I do feel like irl we carry a lot of stuff with us that was shaped in our childhoods, often some level of unhealthy and irrational that we have to kinda work through and be like ok that’s enough of that let’s be serious now. And yeah! Yeah. You’re very right that his chimera is strongly associated with his childhood desires though. It’s just that these desires really do stick, and sometimes they can overtake logic, wether or not you’re an adult and wether or not you have a demon on your shoulder telling you to let yourself be tempted.
So yes! Laios knows that a chimera with fewer animals is logically better, but a True Heart’s Desire isn’t always rational or good and his heart yearns for the Rule of Cool.
It’s, again, like the succubi! Laios is interesting for this because the thing with succubi is that they freeze people: they make the prey freeze and not want to resist/run away, but they don’t make it reciprocate either. They don’t- they don’t usually have to reason with them and be like "no i swear we’re totally real <3". Like no one in the party thinks there’s any chance of hot naked blonde women, general Hareus or Izu’s mom actually walking out of the darkness in the dungeon, especially since they were already on guard and knew succubi were going to attack. But with Laios it was more complex than that. And I think it’s way less "oh haha yeah what you’re saying makes so much sense" and more "I want to believe this is real so for a lack of a better reaction I’m just going to not do anything, maybe just maybe it might be". Again it’s enticement, it appeals to your desires. Again it doesn’t operate on a rational level, and that makes sense because the succubi are monsters who seek to trigger your fight or flight or freeze instinct and make it land on freeze; it doesn’t operate on a rational level but a deep seated one that seeks to shortcircuit logic and better instincts. And part of that was Laios’ succubus going "oh your party members have 4 heads each!!!! Ain’t that cool!!!" like, his desire for chimeras and many headed monsters is so not rooted on a logical level.
It’s a silly fantasy. He thinks several heads are cool and he wants them, like the familiar he makes with Marcille. He chooses aesthetic over practicality becahse he wants to try and believe it’ll work out so bad, and truly I can’t blame him.
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hyakinthou-naos · 3 months
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Hey, hope this is ok. I need some reassurance.
I've never felt a God's presence (except a vague warmth/peace when meditating about them sometimes I guess), much less talked directly to them (as in hearing them answer) and with so many people, esp on tiktok and here, talking like they have a private relationship with the Gods, a close friendship, even dating I just... I feel lesser I guess? Like so many people were chosen but not me and that must be a problem on my part. Like the Gods prefer everyone else over me. Like I'm not doing enough, even though I'm doing what I manage to do, given my limitations. I'm jealous of people who do communicate directly to the Gods. Part of me doubts them but part wants to believe them because it would be so shitty to lie about something like this and I don't want to believe these people are shitty. I don't believe non harmful hallucinations are all that common either, which would be the other explanation.
From what I understand you don't have this kind of direct communication either and I wanted to ask - how do you prevent yourself from feeling bad seeing all these people who (claim they) do?
I'm struggling here :( It's already hard for me to keep a consistent practice because of executive dysfunction and chronic illness and other stuff and this makes it harder. Feeling like I'll never be at everyone else's level of connection makes it harder.
Sorry for the vent-ish ask. You don't need to answer but I'm already glad if you read. Thank you.
Dear Anon,
Thank you for your ask, I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I want to tell you right off the bat that you are not lesser than any other worshipper - you are not less preferable to The Gods - and you should not feel any guilt around your spiritual/religious experiences. I would like to say the following to you, but also to the wider HelPol/Pagan community:
PLEASE Do Not Trust Spiritual Influencers on TikTok.
I cannot claim to know the legitimacy or the intentions/motivations behind every individuals actions regarding divine experiences, but I can say with confidence that most of the spiritual content on TikTok is dripping with lies and exaggerations.
Now, as someone with a mental health degree (I don't talk about my education often but I do have a bachelor's in Social Work and a minor in Psychology) I can also say with confidence that just because someone is lying doesn't mean they're necessarily a "bad person" but you don't have to be a "bad person" to have bad motivations.
Bad Motivations Can Include:
Lying for Financial Gain: This could be selling a product, selling a service, or trying to monetize on being an "influencer".
Lying for Attention: Many people do not have supportive friends, families, or communities - so as a maladaptive coping mechanism they will lie to get the attention they are lacking in their personal life.
Lying for Prestige: Some people don't feel important in their own lives, so they will lie so that other people will think that they are important.
Lying for Fun: In the age of the internet, the ability to make others believe something you know to be false can give someone an adrenaline or a dopamine rush. This is why "trolling" is still so popular.
And, not a "motivation", but still an explanation of why someone might "lie":
Mental Health Concerns: This could be a severe mental illness, a delusion, a hallucination, or conditioning from trauma.
People are weird and wonderful and diverse - and that diversity includes people who will lie (consciously or not) for a variety of reasons.
I speak about this openly as you mentioned, but I do not - nor have I ever - had any direct communication from any entity, deity, or spirit. Everything I know about my Gods (outside of myth, tradition, and history) I have learned through divination, ritual, and intuition.
Answering how I prevent myself from feeling bad when I see so many people "experiencing" something I can't - is a little bit complicated.
When I began my journey into paganism 11 years ago, TikTok didn't exist - Instagram was only 2 years old - and Tumblr had been around for a little under 5 years. My early knowledge came, mostly, from books. I wasn't comparing my experiences to those of others - because the only "others" I could compare myself to were limited to one high-school friend and the authors of the books I read. That kind of experience as a modern pagan doesn't really exist anymore because of how much the world has changed, but I wish it did. So, by the time I got to where I am now, the idea of comparing myself to others was so foreign. And as someone who grew up with the early internet - I learned very quickly that very little online is 100% real and truthful.
If you want to connect with your deities in an honest way that also feels real - you might enjoy trying one of the following (some of these might sound silly and/or childish - but if you truly want to grow as a pagan, you must throw away the idea that childish = bad):
Go outside at night and spin, put your arms out wide and spin and spin until you're dizzy (but not sick). Then lie down on the ground and close your eyes. That whirring sensation? That unreality of gravity? That is the Earth. That is Gaia. That is Demeter.
Listen to the rainfall on a stormy night. Sit somewhere you can hear the drops hitting the ground. Look and wait for a flash of lighting. The following thunder, that sound that you can feel in your bones that makes you jump, That is Zeus.
Write a letter to a friend, or to a loved one, or even to yourself in the future. Pay attention to how emotions become thoughts, thoughts become words, and words become writing. Communication - Language - Thought. That is Hermes.
I could go on- but at the end of the day, people are going to tell you that The Gods are "otherworldly"; but they're wrong. The Gods are of this world - The Gods are this world.
I hope that some of this has helped?
Eirene, peace and farewell,
- Aön
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fcknstar · 1 year
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,, the innocence is gone "
pairings : gf!ethanlandry x fem!reader ( vesper )
summary : what happens when history tends to repeat himself?
content warnings : violence, betrayal, obsession.
**lowercase intended**
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" ghostface would be attractive if he didnt kill.. " you voiced out, in your own world when the whole group turned to face you in shock. 
" uhm.. i think thats a bit far fetch dont you think? " mindy cringed. 
how can the thought of someone with a mask pull your heartstrings, or even turn you on.
" i mean, in my opinion he could be pretty hot. " you shrugged. 
the group wasnt new on your interests in slashers, criminals. you figured that it was always the attractive ones who killed. they just found it weird considering you, mindy, the carpenter sisters and chad nearly got killed by one. 
" coping mechanisms. " quinn laughed the tension off, with the rest awkwardly nodding. 
★ 
ever since ethan joined the group, you have been nothing but attached. how did a good looking guy - a snack - be so lonely. you thought he had someone in his mind, the one you knew you couldnt occupy. but he did. you. but he soon swallowed the feeling down to focus on his mission. he knew he had to kill you, so why did your existence crumble him. making him question about his true intentions. 
" i had econ! " he defended himself as mindy analyzed ethan. 
you saw ethan leaving the apartment so you did trust him. 
" mindy, he did leave the apartment, remember? " you whispered, eyes closed as you listened to the rustling sounds around you. 
" see? " 
" vesper, you are next in my list- " 
" what? just because i defended him doesnt make me the killer. and you know for a fact i would never considering the fucking shit weve been through! " you couldnt believe your ears, your own best friend not trusting you. 
" mindy, i think you are over- analysing everything right now. " sam sighed. she trusted you, even if she knew she couldn't trust anyone. but youve been there for her and tara since day one. 
" fine, but ethan is still on the top of my list. " ethan bringing his hands up in defeat. giving him a lopsided smile, he returned a sad smile back.
everyone were starting to turn their backs on their own people, those that had to relive such traumatic moments. 
★ 
" hello? " 
" hey, ves! i was wondering if you could head down to the library? i need your help. " your friends voice begging for a yes to come out from you. instead a -
" no, im sorry. im with ethan right now, catching up on some shit i dont understand. ill try to come down as soon as possible though! " ethans eyes darting to your face. he loved the way you said his name. how sweet and soft youd say it, as if he was a fragile doll you had to take care off. 
" oh man, alright sure! just text me - update me yea! bye! " a sigh was heard from the other side. 
" bye love~ " you giggled. you were often flirtatious with your closest friends. ethan - not knowing the gender of the caller, narrowed his eyes. 
" so sorry about that- " 
" who was that? " ethan couldnt help but ask. he just had to know. if you couldnt be his, you shouldn't be anyones. 
" lana, she needed help with something. i dont know. " ethan nodded. 
★ 
ethan has yet to leave your side since the van. he needed to be with you as long as he could before he killed you, as him or as ghostface. so when gale brought you and the others down to the shrine, you realized ethans hand around your wrist. 
looking up at him, him smiled. 
" cant let you leave my sight knowing youd go crazy over this stuff. might lose you on the way. " you chuckled. 
looking over the items, you couldn't help but wonder how did someone collect items that was about six years ago - or even more. walking up on stage, you grazed every piece of black robe that could be filled with blood. this was a new feeling and you liked it. 
" remember how you said that ghostface was attractive, i get how someone might like him. " ethan blurted out. 
" haha very funny eth. " rolling your eyes, knowing that he's just trying to annoy you. 
" i mean look at amber freeman. she was hot. quite literally. "
you stopped at amber freemans robe, such events replaying. 
" welcome to act three. " you stumbled backwards watching as she aimed the gun at you.
" its sad that that pretty face will be gone to waste. " amber made a pouty face. you liked amber, maybe more than just a friend. of course you found her attractive, even with her reveal. but you couldnt.
it felt as if someone took your heart out, squeezed it and pushed it back in. you had to digest so many information and your dumb brain couldnt handle it. you didnt want it to happen again, knowing you couldnt take another heart break.
" ves? " ethan placed an arm on your shoulder. 
" sorry? " 
" you alright? " you nodded, afraid that your voice might crack. 
you coped up with everything by searching on slashers, even learning their tactics. it was interesting to say the least. you soon became obsessed with one you didnt even acknowledge. you should have known.
sam and tara pulled you behind them as ghostface removed his mask, revealing ethan. 
his gloomy face was replaced with a menacing smile. you tuned everything out, realizing that everything this happening again. fuck, you thought. ethan was a shy dorky guy, and now standing in front of you is a killer that you liked. oddly enough, you didn't feel betrayed or even hurt. he looked hot, with his hair sticking to his forehead and his breathing heavy. thoughts of blood on his face couldnt help but flood your mind. you just didnt want to die. not yet. 
you didn't even realize when ethans rounding the corner, near the glass display you and sam were standing at. 
you being the closest one, he pulled you, placing the knife against your neck. 
" fuck, eth- " your voice died down in your throat when you felt him press the knife further into your neck. 
" no- " sam and tara wanted to run towards you when quinn stopped them. 
" no, no you little fuckers, you aren't going anywhere. " before walking towards them, ethan walked with you, following quinns steps. your back against his front, you felt his heart thumping hard. probably due to adrenaline. you were going to die. tonight. in the hands of ethan. 
quinn lunged forwards before tara smacked quinn with a brick, knocking her out. 
that was when bailey aimed the gun towards the sisters. 
" you brought a brick to a gun fight.. quite sad isnt it. that you have to die this way. "
" sam- " out of instinct, you jolted forward, forgetting the knife against your neck. you had cut your neck slightly, as you pushed yourself further behind against ethan. 
" you sweet dumb thing. too stupid to not realize that you may cut yourself. " ethan pouted before pulling you away from the others. 
sam and tara saw ethan pushing you forward with the knife against your back. shit, they thought. 
before you could even ask him where he was bringing you, he stabbed you in the arm. 
" ive always wanted to stick something in you, ves! " he smiled victoriously.
" fuck you, eth! " you breathed.
" is that an offer? " shaking his head, he continued, "since i like you, ill spare you. " 
he has made up his mind.
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a.n : have been vv obsessed lately, requests coming soon <3
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cheesycatz · 4 months
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Worm in the Apple (the Wormton AU fic) is at 120k words! Obviously the worm guy loves apples, fruit, and sugary stuff in general, though it holds no nutritional value for him. It's fitting, since most of the "worms" found in apples are actually just some form of insect, just like how Wormton himself isn't an actual worm. Being as contradicting as possible is his whole thing, I suppose.
May blithering helminth codswallop posthaste be upon thee if thoust must ruminate over thine virulent and insiduous merchant Sir Spammington G. Spammington The Deceitful:
Anyways, I've been struggling to write the depressing crap, so I often like to imagine the ending where they can all be happy together in Castle Town. I interpret Castle Town as a place where darkners are less bound to fate, since it doesn't seem to manifest from the real world, and is made of pure darkness, whatever that means. Wormton wouldn't have to hide anymore, but he would very much be, uh, neutralized if he tries to infect anything. He wouldn't get to have sixteen identical feral worm children that look like slightly smaller mirror images of him crawling all around the place, unfortunately; Castle Town could do without a highly invasive species that eats and destroys everything. I imagine that he'd keep the suit jacket so that he actually has some pockets, as well as to hide himself a little bit. Malworms naturally like to stay outside of the spotlight, so he's not very comfortable without his disguise. Not that being crammed inside his disguise was much more comfortable, but, hey, what other option did he have?
I like to imagine the addisons getting stuck with Wormton in Castle Town due to it having greater population density. I'm considering making it so that they don't even know he's there at first, like those criminal cases where some guy is living in a family's attic for months unnoticed. He'll have the opportunity to harass Swatch, interact with other characters like Lancer, and send "mild" death threats to Rouxls. I think he'd avoid Kris and the other lightners. He tries to kill Kris and absorb the SOUL from the get-go, and the two of them lack that puppet connection, since Wormton never picked up the phone. Still, he does pick up on their stilted movements that mimic his own when he's puppeteering his disguise, and does realize that the SOUL is a little more controlling than he would want, so they eventually reach a peaceful conclusion (This AU follows the pacifist normal route. This cold-blooded mf would probably just go into hibernation and do absolutely nothing if the player did a Weird Route). He's still pissed about them taking his shadow crystal, even if the starry night sky it once let him witness will never shine through its surface again. Kris is such a gremlin from what we know that I think it would he sweet if he valued the fact that, while they find his puppet-like disguise creepy, they're unfazed by his real appearance. Kris can go on his "people I don't fantasize about murdering and eating regularly" list, which might just be his "nestmates :^]" list if he'd actually admit it
Back to writing about him hating himself so much that he can't fathom someone healing him unless it was a transactional favor, hiding in a locked closet with no stimulation because he thinks he's trying to kill Blue whenever he's in an instict-driven half-asleep state (emphasis on thinks), believing the only reason that Blue is worried about him hiding so much is because they want him to leave faster, understanding so little of his actual species that he becomes stressed when he does anything that "isn't normal," Having fits of anger and mental breakdowns and feeling bad about it afterwards, using the worst coping mechanisms known to man, and devouring an entire 16 inch regular crust meat lover's pizza in one sitting
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Cover art concept as a lil treat. Probably won't actually draw it until I'm ready to start releasing chapters, but it's fun to think about for now. I'll do my best to live up to expectations as someone with zero experience writing fiction and long-form content in general o7
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full hc request: platonic m6 with mc who is going through a break up after a long term relationship and is just down in the dumps and crying at random times and m6 just make them feel better
The Arcana HCs: M6 comforting MC after a bad breakup
~ @elysian-chaos here you go, lil sis, I hope you like these and that you receive whatever comfort you're needing from them :) ~
Julian
So, here's the thing: healthy coping mechanisms are not his forte
Yes, he wants to see you happy, yes, he wants to see you heal, yes, he wants to bring you comfort
Offering to get blackout drunk with you is not the best way to accomplish that and he doesn't realize it until he sees the look on your face and hears himself make the offer
... tell you what, you tell him what you're hoping to accomplish, and he'll try to use that big brain of his to find a way to do it
Assuming you're of age, he's still going to offer you a little alcohol, if only to make it easier to talk about things more freely
If he figures out that hugging you helps, then he's giving you hugs every time you're sad (and considering how all encompassing they are, it's very good for making you feel a little whole again)
No matter how messy or weird things were, there is zero judgement coming from this guy. He's had his own share of toxic/questionable/inadvisable/problematic situationships
Nobody knows poor self-esteem like he does and he's quick to nip any kind of self-punishment in the bud
Never gets tired of hearing you talk about it and is not at all fazed by messy crying. He's a doctor, bodily fluids are normal, and he's happy to use his handkerchief to dry your tears and blow your nose
Asra
Genuinely one of the best people you could ever go to for comfort. They're here, they've got you, they love you unconditionally, and they will always prioritize your feelings and personal wellbeing
So many hugs and cuddles. He'll curl up with you in a pile of soft pillows and blankets and hold you for as long as you need to cry
Whatever you want to do to cope, they'll do it with you and somehow find a way to make it even more comforting
If you want to talk about it, he'll brew your favorite tea and give it to you in one of those big, two-handed mugs so you have something warm to hold and focus on
If you want to get back at your breakup, they'll come up with all kinds of devious tricks to make their life inconvenient
If you just want to cry it out into a tub of ice cream while you watch movies, he'll grab some pumpkin bread to go with it and keep his shoulder and some tissues handy to cry on
There's no space to feel down about yourself. They will beat any negativity to the punch and heap you with more words of affirmation than you really know what to do with
There's no such thing as a "bad time" for him. He starts trips at midnight, if you wake up lonely at 2 AM he's down to wander through the dark streets with you until you can sleep again
Nadia
She's a little ... torn
She cares about you very much and wants to see you happy
Which is why seeing you cry gives her both the urge to make you smile again and to track down whoever's responsible and serve them some sweet, sweet justice
Talking to her about it is great if you want perspective and analysis on what went wrong, and really really great if you want solutions and strategies to help you move on
But Nadia is a fixer. She has a hard time listening to pain when she feels like there's something she can do about it, and an even harder time when it involves someone important to her crying
She'll end up pampering the daylights out of you
Seriously, you deserve good things, after going through something so painful she wants you to remember what it's like to be treated according to the value you truly hold as a person
She'll take you on platonic dates to boost your confidence and spoil you out of your low self-esteem
And hey, if it's a post-relationship makeover you need, say no more
She'll take you shopping for your new look, she'll help you pick out the new hair, she'll let you smell all of her scents if you want to switch to a different perfume/cologne. She's got you
Muriel
He's ... not great with words. He knows this. You know this. We all know this. Talking it out is not his thing
However, if you just need a quiet, safe space to detach from everything and fall apart for a bit, he can relate perfectly. Stay as long as you need to, sleep as much as you need to, but don't yell
If you want to yell, just let him know so he can take you to a better yelling spot that doesn't involve stressing out the chickens
He's not going to initiate much comfort, because he's not sure what you want, so if you do want hugs you'll have to ask
But he will make you soup. And eggs. And egg soup. And some of the weird tea Asra left lying around several years ago (actually wait, let him try it first, he doesn't know what it does or if it's still good)
And he will bring you plenty of blankets to wrap up in and mountains of firewood to keep the hut warm and cozy
If you want to talk about it, he'll listen. Depending on how messy it got, you might get a slightly judgy look here and there, but it's you he cares about and it's you he's listening to
Speaking of, he can hold a grudge. Whoever broke your heart is going to get some major stinkeye from him if they ever meet
Inanna's not a lapdog, but she's a cuddler if you need it. She can and will curl up on top of you if you need the comfort
Portia
Portia's an exceptionally empathetic person. It's what makes her so good at connecting with people across divides and seeing things from multiple perspectives
It's also what makes her cry almost as much as you do when you go through your breakup. If your heart is broken then so is hers
Which is why she is the best buddy for joining you in your sorrows and keeping you company. She will watch the sappy movies with you. She will eat the tubs of ice cream with you
She will get absolutely furious with your ex and curse them out until she's red in the face with you. She will offer to help you sabotage their future attempts at romantic connections with you
(don't let her do that last thing, she's going to accomplish it a little too effectively and then you'll both live with the guilt)
(unless of course said ex has a pattern of being seriously toxic/cruel to their partners, in which case, go ahead with the Countess's blessing and let her know if you'll need legal backup)
Bear hugs. The biggest, tightest, comfiest bear hugs
And self-care, when you're done with the ice cream and movies. She can set up an impressive at-home spa day
Pepi will follow you all around the cottage and even give you the honor of curling up and falling asleep on your lap. Don't move
Editing to add:
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Lucio
Lucio doesn't have the easiest time processing his emotions, much less helping somebody else process theirs. He's very happy to help you but it's not going to be conventional by any means
You look angry. He'll take you somewhere good for sparring so you can let the aggressive feelings out instead of thinking about them
You look sad. Would you like him to throw you a party to cheer up?
Not even a distraction party? Not even a "good riddance" party? Not even a "I'm going to show off how many friends I have and how good I look in this outfit so they know what they lost" party? No?
Huh. You really don't process stuff the way he does, then
On the other hand, he will take your side no matter how messy it got. You're the best, you're his favorite person, and therefore anybody who causes you suffering is clearly in the wrong
Surprisingly good at giving you pep talks. He's a charismatic guy and he wholeheartedly believes every good thing he says about you
You're the best. End of discussion
He gets really uncomfortable if he sees you crying though. He just hates seeing you sad and he hates not knowing what to do about it
Mercedes and Melchior, on the other had, will lick your tears away until the only thing left on your face is dog slobber
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cringecat69 · 1 month
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still alive
hey guys i dont think anybody worried but id like to say, im still alive. i havent been at all active anywhere and likely will not be for the foreseeable future unless a miracle happens
you might have at least noticed i did not do anything at all on artfight
why is this..? well:
i have had severe mental issues. these issues have been here for years since i can remember really, but they have been worsening, and have become way too much this year
you might know ive had some weird episodes and really bad coping mechanisms if youve looked into me properly
my parents discovered this just recently, and after a relapse ive been forced into isolation at my house, mostly unable to speak to my friends (only have done so about 3 times in nearly 50 days of this) and completely banned from using a phone or computer.
im a sneaky guy alright i do manage to sneak in a few times because otherwise id have given up or gone even more insane
i am now beginning to see a proffessional for these issues (and i have to keep them under control while i get assessed first, in fear of getting beaten again by my parents OR involuntarily admitted into a mental hospital)
i ccant put into words just how much i miss everything
and i do not know if i will ever make a proper return unless i get out of here but i really hope they get some sense knocked into them
that is if i can get out of here, because they've expressed that they will most likely use whatever i get diagnosed with as a weapon against me to keep me with them under the guise of me being unable to care for myself or being a danger to myself
TL;DR: my mental health is awful, because of it my parents banned me from everything probably forever-ish, im afraid and i miss you guys so much and making art, im sorry
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vampiric-succulent · 2 months
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OUAW EP 20:
It’s not even past the bean footage yet and already I have a thing to comment about—
“Hey. Keep working. Keep your hands down.” Idk if it’s just Mace or if it’s me but this is an interesting thing to start the episode with
Also I lowkey already watched this but considering that I wasn’t really paying attention due to Sleep im rewatching
Oh this is the Silly Goofy episode. Got it.
Watching this is so different now that I know how tall each of these people actually are in real life
“Mr Kremyyyyy….. Torbek had a nightmaaaare………..” torb <3
Hot jones?
Why is Mikey using the King Shmebulon voice
Oh the energy here is so weird today
NEXT YOURE GONNA TELL TORBEK THAT A SHRIMP FRIED THAT RICE and they’re gone
The improv shenanigans here are SO GOOD— “the wee hours” watches and the blue J and the bottle of something
HOT JONES!!!
“There was that guy and he was like… woah.” Bi Gricko!!!! “Why you always watching these kingly types and looking at their woah?” Lmfao Gideon you are no better
Degenerate Jones
TABAXI TORBEK and eughhh Mammon Tiefling Gricko (applying for all Mammon Tiefling Gricko)
I love how Kremy is super paranoid thinks everyone is out to get him but still immediately tells Gideon everything (I need to see Gideon do some sort of something back bc coalecroux is feeling increasingly one sided and it is making me sad)
“Torbek was happy with the infinite abyss”
THE FEDS
Poor Twig she went from dealing with absolute loneliness to dealing with all this bullshit. She needs to have the space to Bogart out a little bit like get this woman a destruction room
Twig 🤝 Torbek
coping mechanisms
Gideon has such older brother who acts like a father figure to Twig vibes
THE FEDS THEYRE IN THE CLOTHES
Torbek is simply following suit… following the suit to the ground lmfao
PENIS NOSE?????? HOW IS THAT AN OPTION
Gideon is overwhelmed by Penis im sorry
This is just reminding me of when Frost got the proud nudist curse and Derek made that slapping turn joke 😭
Obligatory “im walkin here” please stop
Nvm we have the coalecroux and also poly party affirmations (long shots and headcanons)
OH!!! Woah there Kremy
“Think of the Federal government!” Quick Gid take your clothes off!! The government!!!
OH NO THE ORCIFICATION
NO THE FUCKING CABINET
DEREK. DEREK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT DEREK WE COULD HAVE NEVER GONE DOWN THAT ROAD
Love Torbek’s Spring Aladrin voice. It’s like some sort of old English aristocratic friend of Oscar Wilde.
Oop! Theseus’s Ship mentioned (kind of)
“Did we do a bunch of drugs before bed again?” Funny you should have asked that Gideon given what is now happening
“Tentacles probe me” “yes Gideon join us the time is now get naked”
WHY IS IT ERECT NOW DEREK. PUT THAT DOWN. “Something about beekeeper helmets…” HUH
Oh god Twig is gonna bogart out
PUT IT DOWN. PUT THAT THING DOWN AND AWAY.
“STOP BEING ERECT. STOP EATING MY BONES”
Love how Nikkie says “your mind is back to Gricko” and Mikey just starts screaming
Whoops!
It is so impressive how Twig is so controlled. Like she has every justification to absolutely freak out right now and she’s keeping calm and trying to manage things.
Thank god Hootsie is out of this lol
NO TWIG LOOK AWAY
“Torbek was *very* thorough.”
Okay seriously how old is Twig?? This is a very important question. Like REALLY important.
I’m imagining Spring Aladrin Torbek lying on a couch like he’s gonna say “draw me like one of your French girls”
Guys. Please. We are nearly halfway through this video. Please.
YES CAST SILENCE. HUSH MICHAEL.
No Twig it’s not your fault!!!!!!! No!!!!!!!!!!!
Not the Pennsylvanian sperm trees
“After what I’ve watched today I don’t think you’ll accomplish anything of value.”
Not the milk joke PLEASE y’all not the cilk
Frost is so sweet tho
No more Hot Joneses :(
Yesss Twig establish those boundaries!!!!
Tom is such a deep cut
Okay so Twig is at least 200 years old. Good. That’s really good. Good to know.
Grinko is having a stronk. Please call the Gronkulance.
WHAT HAPPENED TO HOOTSIE.
Omg she’s their niece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also HOLY FUCK HE HIT HER??? WITH A CABINET????????
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”
Menasith, and their older sibling Menapauthe.
The Glowing Anus 😭
Oh this is Nikkie’s fault. Fantastic.
MORNING FROTH CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE
“That’s very funny Gricko. Your daughter is possibly bleeding out.”
Ohhhh Hootsie’s okay thank god
Gricko however is really not
Okay so I know this is a fantasy campaign and we are in the literal Feywild so this like kind of doesn’t matter but how does Gideon get energy??? Does he need to absorb nutrients or is it just sort of as long as he keeps his internal furnace alive he’s okay?
Twig boundaries 100 with regards to Torbek but fully get the party’s concerns
Also Twigsy ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Not Gricko being hypnotized by Spring Aladrin Torbek’s hip sway
Torbek does not know but Torbek must dance!!!!
Oh Torbek’s ticket is so sad
“This is an Acorn Satchel!!!”
Mikey annoying Nikkie so much that she just takes things away
Frost getting jealous over the Gricko impression 😭❤️
What is a mud meffet?????
I love Andy so much. Oh he’s wonderful. So glad he’s here.
KLUTZY RETURNS for like two seconds
Love these guys. Oh my lord. Also what the fuck happened in the first like hour???? Still a fun little episode.
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shakingparadigm · 3 months
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For the ask game: Hyuna!!🔥
HI TOON THANK YOU!!
favorite thing about them:
Man, what's not to like... she's just a fantastic character all around, probably the most likeable character in my personal opinion! I love her perserverance and her incredibly strong sense of self. Her character design is also just so incredible, probably the most unique and distinct character in the cast (shades?? almost 6ft?? abs??? a prosthetic leg???)
She's just so badass.... save me noona......
least favorite thing about them:
I don't really have anything that I dislike about Hyuna honestly. Maybe a cause of concern would be her habits of drinking and smoking but hey she's grown and reclaiming her freedom so really she can do whatever she wants with her life!
favorite line:
This might be a weird one but "A bird is set free​" from All-In has always stood out to me. It carries a certain feeling and just perfectly encapsulates Hyuna. The shot that's presented during this line is one of my favorite Hyuna frames too.
(Honorable Mention: "c-cheers!" man I love Hyuna.)
brOTP:
MIZI AND TILL!!! I love the idea of Till acting as an adopted little brother to Hyuna (is this a Hyunwoo coping mechanism? Who knows). Of course her fellow rebels Dewey and Isaac as well! I also think Hyuna and Ivan would get along (suprisingly enough). She'd have a hard time figuring him out at first, but eventually they'd warm up to each other and probably be gym buddies or something.
OTP:
Hyuluka is the given of course since they're paired together.... while I don't have any particularly strong feelings about it in a romantic sense I find their relationship incredibly interesting to analyze and think about. Hyuluka and Ivantill are really in the same boat of obssessive perfect guy x rebel who does not like them back 😭
A ship that I genuinely do find adorable (and super underrated) is offrec/actor Hyuluka!! Offrec Luka seems much more chill and down-to-earth but also kinda jaded because he had to go through the whole idol thing which he hated. Offrec Hyuna is bright, innocent and the youngest of the cast which I find really cute.... there's this one offrec fancomic I like where Luka gets flustered because Hyuna approached him and then immediately deflating when he finds out she just wanted an autograph 😭 cute
nOTP:
Honestly haven't seen many other Hyuna ships besides Hyuluka.
random headcanon:
Hyuna has accidentally seriously fucked people over with her voice mimicry talent. At one point she was begged to stop doing it because she kept freaking people out.
unpopular opinion:
Okay, this one is a bit long and kind of less an opinion and more of a story, but I will admit that at first I really did not like All-In. LISTEN TO ME OKAY SAVE THE GUILLOTINE FOR LATER.
I fell off of Alien Stage after ROUND 5. I saw ROUND 1 and ROUND 2 and while I found them interesting, I didn't really think about them that much. ROUND 5 was the only one that caught my attention enough for me to come back to the video maybe 4 or 5 times after my first watch, even searching about Alien Stage on social media and stuff. Still, I wasn't too invested yet.
When I saw All-In freshly released on my Youtube page I was like "oh hey it's this thing again. there's a new one? okay" and out of curiosity I watched it.
I don't know what it was, but something about All-In just did not click with me at first 😭 I remember feeling as though it sounded kind of dissonant? Like something was a bit off with the instrumental, maybe it sounded a little low in volume or something. The rhythm of the song threw me off a little and I could not for the life of me explain why. This is purely personal by the way, I'm no professional music analyst or anything, it just seemed weird to me personally at first.
But that's the thing. Because I found it so strangely off, I kept coming back to the video (it helped that the visuals were absolutely banging). Everytime it showed up on my homepage I would just sit there and watch it entranced like a zombie and I couldn't even explain why. At one point I woke up at 1AM, opened my phone, and watched All-In completely unmoving expressionless unblinking in the dark of my room, then shut the phone off and immediately knocked out again. Once again I cannot explain this. That video had me in an absolute chokehold no joke. Eventually I started to understand it more and it really grew on me, to the point where I played it in the shower on loop and then proceeded to start the rest of my days with the damn thing. I began to get curious about the deeper aspects of Alien Stage, took the plunge, and now we're here.
Anyways, that's the story of how my opinion on All-In went from "this sounds kinda off" to "this is the best thing to ever be created by human hands". All-In is now one of my most favorite ALNST songs and Hyuna absolutely killed it in her debut video. Sorry I couldn't understand the true extent of your genius back then queen, but at least I do now.
song i associate with them:
Eight by Sleeping At Last
When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things,
I see the familiar
I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too
Now I'm a broken mirror
But I can't let you see all that I have to lose
All I've lost in the fight to protect it
I can't let you in, I swore never again
I can't afford to let myself be blindsided
favorite picture of them:
It's come to my attention that Hyuna was being taken away by the guards. I didn't notice because she just looked so cool in this shot 😭
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