#I know not everyone I’m friends with here is religious/Christian

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

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[athenawasamerf]

What's life in Egypt like?

This is a very vague question so I’m not sure how to answer, really. It’s kind of tense these days, anyway.

Ig the day to day is pretty typical. I’m not exactly the average citizen, most of my time is taken up with med school so I don’t explore or go out as much as I should. I live in Alexandria, and I love it here. Coastal, the old section of the city is beautiful, lots of greenery. It’s pouring down rain all through winter, driving is near impossible because everyone is fucking insane (which is typical for Egyptian cities lol), it’s pretty densely populated, the food is phenomenal. We have a ton of museums and historical sites, and the library of Alexandria is pretty rad. The economy is shit and getting shittier, we’re under a military dictatorship (again but worse than last time), inflation is insane and the country is in a ton of debt to the point that the central bank of Egypt has stopped all foreign currency transactions on debit cards, and credit cards have a foreign currency limit of the equivalent of $250/month.

From a feminist perspective, it’s not the best place to be. Alexandria is better than most of the country, but I still get harassed regularly. Egyptian men are paternalistic and have a weirdly entitled attitude towards all women, we have in-jokes in feminist circles about the fruit vendor from down the street being mad at you for coming home late. Tbf I’m fairly open about my feminist opinions and that hasn’t caused me any trouble, and basically all my friends and acquaintances know that I wear a hijab in front of my family and take it off at school/when I’m out with friends, and 4 of my cousins know about the hijab thing as well. Dating culture is fairly normalised in Alexandria, so everyone in my circles including two of my cousins know about my love life (but not my sexuality). In some places of Egypt, I’d be honour killed for any one of these things, so I’m grateful to be where I am. There’s still a line of chauvinism running in the country, though that’s the least of our worries as feminists. I have a post about marriage and divorce in Egypt under my Egyptian feminism tag if you’re interested in learning more about that aspect.

From an LGB perspective, unfortunately the little progress we’d made in the late 00’s and early 10’s has been receding quickly. We’d gotten to a point of live and let live in some areas, but the introduction of trans ideology in the west caused a massive recoil in perception of LGB people here, and there’s been a crackdown on LGB-sympathetic ideas. Every time it’s brought up, you get a look of disgust and ‘they’re teaching kids to change their sex’. It’s going to take massive amounts of time and effort to repair this damage.

And finally, from a religious perspective, well. Not much has improved re acceptance of atheism or non-abrahamic religious beliefs. Egyptian law technically protects your right to freedom of belief, but, crucially, not your right to freedom of expression of religious belief. National ID cards must have your religion listed on them, and the only options are Muslim/Christian/Jew. Contempt of religion and ‘violating Egyptian family values’ laws are pretty strict and are used to prosecute everything from girls dancing on TikTok to blasphemy. I don’t see this improving any time soon, though foreigners (non-Arabs) are given some leeway.

I hope I’ve covered the most important points, but please feel free to reach out if you have more specific questions!

[sappho-ism]

I see a lot of people talking about how being lgbtq+ is just a part of their lives that is just negligible and doesn’t influence who they are as a person.

Which of course, there’s nothing wrong with. But I have a very opposite experience. And I just wanted to talk about it? Because I think about it a lot.

(Note, I will be talking about Christianity and religious trauma so please if that stuff makes you upset, scroll on, I’ve put the tws in the tags but I’m putting it here too just to be safe.)

See the thing is, as I’ve said many times before on this blog, I grew up in a Christian family and was a Christian myself up until I was about 14 when I then left the church. I didn’t even know gay people existed until I started in secondary school and I had a friend who came out to me as a lesbian and she had to explain to me what being LGBTQ+ even was. At that point I was 11. And since being a kid in school meant you were surrounded by other girls who had these “boyfriends.” I never understood that. I never understood the allure of being married to a man, having a child with them, etc. To me, even when I was literally a child, it sounded like something I did not want. Like at all. This lead to me feeling incredibly abnormal compared to so many other people. But I spent that entire first year of secondary with that friend and as I started my second year, a few months before I turned 12, I also came out as a lesbian.

I was outed at church very soon after too. Pastors would pull me aside into rooms to talk about who I was, and why it was a sin that I needed to correct. That I needed to “cast the devil away from my life.” I had friends in that church who were my age. One of which was actually bisexual herself. Her mother throughly hated me because of the fact I was lesbian, worried that somehow I’d “make her daughter gay.” Other people in the church who had previously been family friends now saw me as something to be fixed. That I was a problem and that they needed to remedy it through Christ.

My parents actually had the two church leaders over at our house for food once, and I remember watching one of them go into this fit about how much he hated that the church was being pressured to accept LGBTQ+ people, how it’s wrong, disgusting, and all the other shit you’d expect to hear from a conservative Christian’s mouth concerning LGBTQ+ people. In my own fucking house.

This culminated in me being cohered, guilt tripped and manipulated into being baptised in-front of the entire congregation and then announcing that I was “free of the sin of homosexuality.” Watching people actually rejoice and clap and celebrate such a thing is still something very present in my mind.

I left the church very soon after that. One reason because I didn’t believe in any high power to begin with. The other being I felt like I had utterly betrayed myself. I hated myself. And everyone else in that place hated me too. They just liked to pretend they didn’t, and “only hated the sin.” I went through so much confusion and upset over who I was, and trying to navigate that as a young teenager while simultaneously being told that I was disgusting for even existing by a community I had grown up in was suffocating.

But once I was finally away from all of that, I still had to endure the fucking isolation that comes with being literally the only other out lesbian in my school and, to my knowledge, my college and just being a lesbian in society in general but I won’t go into that because this post is long enough.

Being a lesbian has literally defined my experiences that have shaped me growing up. It’s been there. Everywhere. I���m still trying to combat feelings of shame over my own sexuality that come creeping in every so often, especially since I’m still very exposed to Christianity through my family. But being able to call myself a lesbian instills me now with this feeling of joy and self assurance, feelings that initially were just plain shame and self hatred. I feel incredibly connected to that part of myself, and by extension the community. Even when I haven’t known other shit about myself or who I was, that was the thing I did know.

Being a lesbian directly impacts me. It did and it definitely still does. It’s not just a negligible fact about me or anything. It’s so important in a way I still can’t properly describe and idk if I ever will be able to. But it’s nice.

I didn’t have this ability to be so open about myself when I was younger. And now I finally have the chance, I’m going to take it. Yes, it still puts me in danger, yes, people are going to fucking hate me for it. But I’m doing it for younger me who didn’t have the chance, who was bullied and ridiculed and made to feel like she was a disgusting abomination for simply existing.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Are you Christian? hope that doesn't sound accusatory

Anon. I love you, but please know there is no possible way to drop into a stranger’s ask box anonymously demanding to know personal information (age, sex/gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, diagnoses, etc.) without sounding somewhat accusatory or at the very least a little nosey (because why do you need to know that), but reading your disclaimer did make me smile despite my apprehension regarding this inquiry, so I appreciate you adding that in.

This is also a weird one because I genuinely don’t know what answer you are hoping for or if you’re just curious and enjoy dropping into people’s inboxes to ask if they’ve heard the good word of Jesus Christ which I have to admit, is an interesting strategy though not one I’d recommend. I was gonna answer this anon with something like “what are you a cop?” Or “come back with warrant” (classic) but then upon reflection, realized I should probably clear some stuff up in case you are confused. So, uh, to answer the question, yes, I am, though that will require some explanation as religion is not really what this blog is for. This blog is where I dump my hyperfixations, rants about life, links to my fanfics, and maybe make a few friends along the way. Some of the media I engage with like Narnia happens to be Catholic/Christian, or have Christian themes, or be popular in Christian circles, but that’s more coincidental. This blog really has no clear organization at all, I just see stuff I like or personally identify with, reblog, and that’s that, so it’s mostly fandom content, but stuff on neurodivergence and disability slips in a lot because I identity with a lot of it and happen to know a fair amount about it, so it makes sense to have it on my blog from time to time.

Now, I believe you might be coming into my ask box to ask about this because I recently started following and reblogging a few posts from Christian content creators. The reason for that is ironically similar to the reason I got this blog in the first place. I had no one irl to talk about fandoms and hyperfixations with, and people didn’t want me talking about them irl, so I came here to do that, met a lot of nice people, we rant about fandoms together, it’s a good time. Currently, I’m not around people irl who are Christian, so I’ve started coming here for that too, and it’s worked out pretty great. Met some nice people, talked about headcanons and such, found a few neurodivergent Christians and the intersectionality is nice, mostly good stuff.

The one issue I ran into was that a good number of my established followers and mutuals have religious trauma or don’t like religion very much, so to be sensitive to that, I tag every reblog of a religious post “tw religion” or “tw religion mention” so that they know to block the tags if they don’t wanna see it, and then I save my long rants on Christian headcanons and stuff like that for private DM’s and discord conversations with mutuals who are interested in that. It’s just something I do to try to be respectful and acknowledge that while this is something that’s brought a lot of joy and positivity in my life, not everyone has experienced it that way, and they might not want to see that on their dash, and it can be genuinely triggering for people.

But while this seemed like a good idea at the time, I now realize why you probably feel the need to ask about my religious background, which is why I feel obligated to answer your question. Because… most people who reblog posts with “tw religion” have something to say against it, but people who like religion will just reblog the post. Which I now realize, upon reflection, leads to a lot of Christian creators getting notifications like “uh oh! Someone reblogged your art with the hashtag “tw religion” wonder what rant they have against you” and then they check and it’s just me going “wow nice art, Happy Easter and God Bless You, you’re incredibly talented 🥰, and also TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CONTENT!” and on the flip side it’s also probably weird for everyone who sees the hashtag “tw religion” and is like “haha…nice. A rant against faith. I gotta see this!” only to click on the post and see some really well drawn art of Jesus and the children with a ton of positivity. So um… sorry for confusion?

To make a long story short, yes, I’m Christian, but this blog is mostly fandom content, that’s why I created it and that’s what I’m here for. I do incorporate a lot of Christian themes in my fic writing just like I incorporate elements of my neurodivergence into my writing as well, but my writing is not explicitly Christian, anyone can enjoy it. You’re allowed to like things by different groups that you are not part of while still not completely agreeing with everything that particular group believes. I promise it’s okay, that’s how humans work, none of us will ever think completely alike, but we can still enjoy each other’s stuff sometimes. I promise the world won’t end because you liked a fanfic where I wrote Nicholas’ speech to Martina about forgiveness and how she’s still a good person to parallel God’s mercy and love for us, you can still like it and like the message while not agreeing with my idea of who God is or that there even is a God at all. Most if not all the characters in Wolf 359 are atheists, and I still enjoy the podcast (though I will note before people come in my comments about this, yes, there is obviously some nuance to this atheism as canonically Minkowski is culturally Christian, Doug kinda knows the our father and probably got dragged to church on Christmas/his birthday and Easter at some point, Daniel Jacobi’s name has Jewish origins so the character likely has some Jewish background, Maxwell is ex-evangelical, Hera strikes me as spiritual but not religious, Cutter and Pryce are atheists who left religion but kept all the toxic parts so they could make themselves gods, and this last one actually has no canon evidence whatsoever, but I firmly believe that Kepler is specifically agnostic not atheist, and he goes out of his way to emphasize this by saying stuff like “due to the limits of the human mind, we can never really know the truth about the big picture” or something like that, but I know he has a speech about it. No disrespect to my agnostic followers, but unfortunately I think Kepler would do this).

That tangent aside, I will end by saying this. I have all sorts of people following this blog: Christians, atheists, people of other faiths, members of the LGBTQ+ community, neurodivergent folks, BIPOC, and more, and they followed me for my unhinged rants and fandom content. They didn’t come here to have their identities and beliefs bashed, and due to the fandoms I am in, many of them are also minors. And I am so, so, scared about what my reply to this anon might bring to this blog, no matter the answer, so let me be very clear: if you use this post, or any of my posts, to spread hate and negatively towards anybody, you’re blocked. I have already done this a few times when I’ve seen it around tumblr. If you think it was a mistake, let me know, but I’m not exposing my young followers to that. That’s not gonna help anybody, and there are so many better things you could be doing with your time.

With that said, if the tagging system is not working out, and you’d prefer I put the religious stuff on a side blog my non-Christian followers can block while still enjoying my usual content on the main, I can do that too. Whatever makes it easier for y’all.

*this would be a bummer, because I just hit an even 200, which is tricky to do when all you got is two of the tiniest fandoms alive and not much else. But look after yourself, I wish you well, and I’ll get over it.

[roses-red-and-pink]

Literally still thinking about that “white people have no culture post.” Like yes, white people as a whole do not have a collective culture. (Just like you can’t say that Kenyan culture= all of African culture or all black culture) I’m not even saying this trying to prove anything iy just got me thinking about my culture and what it is. And I love my Alberta culture (which is majority white population). It’s kind of a mash of various subcultures such as cowboy, farming, church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, general Christianity, politically conservative, overall Canadian, some American aspects.

Off the top of my head here are some of our cultural practices

Blessings on the food at community events

Parades

Rodeos

Farming/hunting season (you don’t have to be farmer or a hunter to get the rewards if you have friends ;)

Funeral potatoes

Church every Sunday

Alberta beef

Community (religious and just in general)

Hockey (don’t have to play or even watch that much, but everyone has a team)

High school basketball (it’s like the hunger games lol)

Bridge jumping

Pick up trucks

And this is localized to my area of Alberta. And I know not everyone participates fully in all these things and there are still subcultures, and not all aspects of my culture are good, or maybe you just disagree with aspects of it. But that’s ok. It’s my culture and I love it, flaws and all.

[arecaceae175]

Can you explain the LU drama on the discord is? Because I first saw you listing off peoples names tk block then I saw another person I follow post the most HEINOUS fanart of hw link mpreg that genuinely disturbed me and I didn’t even get a good look at it and what it going onnnnn 😭

(Edit 07/09: read my reblog for updated information)

Hi! I will try to make this as comprehensive as I can.

First of all, I want to say to everyone: don’t send hate to people who are not immediately associated with this situation. I got another ask and I’m not going to share that one because it will spur more hate.

So. Here we go. @/alasse-earfalas made a post and tagged it with the main linked universe tags inviting people to join a “conservative Christian LU discord server” as she called it. That, by itself, is fine! Legend of Zelda does have religious themes so it’s reasonable and valid to want a safe space to discuss those. (I believe the post is still up, but if not I have screenshots for proof)

The issue is that one of their rules states that the server does not support the pride movement. They called the pride movement “predatory and overtly sexual.” Those things are not true. That is the ideology legislators are using to take away queer people’s rights in the United States right now. It is a serious, bigoted viewpoint of the queer community and it is false. It is just hatred toward us because we are not the same as them.

They also started that they wanted a space away from their favorite characters being “queered into oblivion.” It is up to you to choose which posts you interact with (not you, the asker of this question. I mean everyone). Religious posts and pride posts should both have a place in our community.

I made a list of people who interacted with that post and joined the server because I wanted to block them to protect my health and safety. I made the situation worse by not checking the intentions of everyone in the discord. Some people were there to snoop like I was. I take full responsibility for the hurt I caused by my actions, and once again I apologize.

However, I stand by my more recent post of people I chose to block. Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated on my page.

HOWEVER, that includes Christianity. The server was a Christian server, but that does not mean all Christians in this fandom were involved with it. Queer Christians have been hurt most by this situation and they deserve to feel safe in the LU community, the pride community, and the Christian community.

Please do not send any hate towards other Christian’s on this app if they were not involved in the situation.

This account is a safe space. I apologize if anything I did spurred hate towards anyone involved with this situation.

I am part of the queer community and I stand by that proudly. We are not predatory, we are not overtly sexual. We just want to be proud of who we are.

I don’t know what art you’re talking about. I don’t believe it is associated with this situation at all.

I hope this doesn’t sound hostile. I am not mad at you at all, I promise! I am frustrated with the situation and that people I thought were my friends are so hatefully against my identity.

Once again, there is no space for any kind of bigotry in this fandom. As long as you don’t disrespect anyone else’s existence, you deserve a place here.

[dp-marvel94]

Face to Face- Chapter 54

Summary: When Danny went through the ghost catcher, he expected to be cured of the ghostliness that had haunted him since the accident, not to wake up on the lab floor with his parents saying he’d been overshadowed but everything’s back to normal now. But why does Danny Fenton cry himself to sleep to then dream of flying? Why does Phantom, the ghost who was supposedly possessing Danny remember a life that wasn’t his? Most of all, why do both the human and the ghost feel that something vital is missing, in their very soul? Or: Trying to cure himself of his powers one month after the accident, Danny accidentally splits himself but neither his ghost nor his human half know that that is what they did

First -> Last -> Next

Word Count: 7,517

Also on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

Note: Finally! The much awaited (for me at least XD) concert chapter! This is probably the most self indulgent thing I have ever written. 😅😳

Seriously though, I put so much time and thought into this love letter to my two favorite things: Danny Phantom and Christian rock. 😂 I hope ya'll enjoy it just a fraction of the amount I did writing it.

(And on a serious note. A warning for some minor religious references and discussion here- the name of Jesus in a reverent context, a character asks another if they would like to be prayed for. I wrote a very long post on Tumblr going to more detail on some of these and my reasons for including them. See the link in the end note.)

Excitement grew, buzzing in Danny’s chest as everyone piled into the GEV. Even Jazz.

The boy raised a brow at his sister. “I figured you’d wanna stay home and read about the psychology of troubled teens or something.”

The red-head rolled her eyes at the comment. She shook her head. “Spike is going. He’s really into the metal scene and I thought going myself might be informative.”

Dad glanced back. “Is that your boyfriend, Jazzirencess?”

Jazz blushed. “We’re just friends, Dad.”

The parents exchanged looks, saying nothing else on the topic. Instead the conversation shifted, back towards the subject of the concert.

“Danny, sweetie. Who are we seeing again?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Less than ten minutes later, the group arrived at the park. Dad pulled into a parking spot and turned the vehicle off. The teens were out almost before the van even stopped and practically run across the grass.

There was the stage, set up the field where Sam, Tucker, and his two halves had played frisbee golf on Thursday. Danny stopped a dozen feet away, just staring for a long moment. Not even four days ago he’d fought a dragon here. Signs of the struggle still mard the area: patches of dead grass, a few fallen trees, and –Danny winced at the sight– the destroyed bathrooms, bared off the caution tape. A row of Port-a-Potties has been set up in their stead.

The sound of a guitar broke through Danny’s thoughts. “Feels like I'm stuck. Going nowhere fast.” An older teenage girl was singing while playing. “My life is on the line. I'm running out of time.” The instrument suddenly cut off. Then her voice pitched down, speaking normally. “I’m gonna need more guitar in my ears.” A few more strums. “Perfect.” She glanced over at another teen, holding a bass. “Maggie?”

Beside Danny, Tucker leaned in, right next to his ear. “They’re sound checking!” The half ghost could practically hear the stars in his friend’s eyes. 

“We’re listening to GFM sound check!” Danny felt just as giddy.

More strumming instruments, banging on the drums, growling and yelling into the mic. “Mic check! One, two, three! Can you hear me?!” 

“Yeah!” Woah!” The few people already gathering in front of the stage yelled an affirmative.

“Sounds good, CJ.” The bassist backed up from the mic, leaving her instrument on a stand. “Let’s get dinner.”

“Pizza!” There was a cheer from the drum set.

The other two band members, all sisters if Danny remembered, left the stage, now empty of people. 

Sam tugged on her friends’ arms. “Let’s scope out merch.”

The three hurried over to the merch tables, the group clustered under a tent. First GFM’s merch table, all black and pink and green. Shirts and tank tops. A jersey and hoodie. Wristbands and stickers. Pins. Even a skateboard- with cupcakes and a cheerleader in a black and pink cheer outfit with fishnets.

“I want one of everything.” The goth gushed. 

Next Relent’s table- black cloth covered the table, displaying fewer options but no less enticing.

Danny eyed one particular shirt. 

Tucker pointed. “Dude, check it.” The shirt showed a typical, if spooky, bed-sheet ghost, the scene complete with the band name, fire, lightning, and little bats.

“I’m so tempted.” The half ghost grinned.

Then Protest’s. A huge banner with the band’s logo hung on a frame, shirts displayed around it. In front of that was a table with posters, cds, stickers, and other offerings. A man with long brown hair and an upper arm tattoo was hanging up one last jacket.

“That’s a sick zip-up.” Tucker commented.

The man turned around…. He looked vaguely familiar. “Thanks man. My bro designed it.” He pointed to another man, a few tables down who was talking to some other people. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m-” He held out his hand to Tucker, only to be interrupted.

“Joshua Bramlett!” 

The four turned, only to see-

“Grandma?!” Sam’s eyes crinkled in disbelief of the old woman zooming across the path in her electric wheelchair.

The man’s (presumably Joshua) eyes lit up behind his glasses. “Miss Ida!” He stepped around the group, bending over to hug the woman as her chair stopped. “How have you been?!”

The trio of teens stared, confused. “What is happening right now?” Danny asked.

Meanwhile, the bearded man and Sam’s grandma chatted. “These old joints are acting up. But I wasn’t going to miss seeing you boys for the world.” She patted his hand. “You have to meet my granddaughter.”

Grandma Ida wheeled forward, the man walking back to the trio with her. “This is Sam.” The old woman introduced.

“I’m Josh.” The man offered his hand with a smile.

“Sam.” The goth nodded, accepting the gesture.

“Tucker.”

“Danny.”

Two more hand shakes were given. 

Josh then lowered his hands, putting them in his pockets. “Have you ever seen us before?”

“Us?” Danny raised a brow and the man motioned to the banner. “Oh.” The boy blushed. “You're in the band.” That really should have been obvious; hadn’t he seen him on the flier for this very show?

Josh chuckled, giving a shrug. “I sing for The Protest.” The words were so casual, “Are you excited for the show?” and the question eager and genuinely interested.

The half ghost instinctively felt himself relaxing. “Yeah! We’ve been talking about this for weeks.”

“Me and the boys will be sure to put on a good one for you.” He chuckled, before pointing back at the stage. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got more set up to do. I’d love to talk to you guys more after.”

Sure enough, Josh turned and walked away. The three teens stopped, watching for a long moment.

“He seems nice.” Tucker commented.

“That young man’s one of the sweetest, most genuine people you’ll ever meet.” Grandma Ida nodded, eyes twinkling with her smile. 

“Who you’ve apparently met before?” Sam frowned down, hands on her hips. “You know the Protest’s lead singer. How come you haven’t taken me to see them before?”

The old woman just shrugged, a mischievous look flickering across her face. Then her eyes lit up, gaze flickering to something near the stage. “Is that Marco Pera I see?!” She called out. “Don’t you run off now! Come talk to Grandma Ida.” The old woman wheeled off, leaving the three teens behind.

The goth lowered her hands to her sides, mouth open. “Unbelievable.”

Danny tugged her arm, diverting her attention. “Come on. There’s another table.”

Sam turned back. Her brow furrowed. “I thought there were only three bands playing.”

Tucker shrugged, leading his friends to the table. Sure enough, there was more merch displayed. 

“They have everything.” Danny’s eyes widened. Bags, CDs, posters, stickers, and pins were typical fare. But there were shirts in just about every color, not just black or gray. Keychains and coasters. Wristbands too. Even jewelry, bracelets that looked like they were made of leather.

“You should get that one, Sam.” Tucker pointed teasingly at a pink leather bracelet with the band’s name.

The goth rolled her eyes, giving the technogeek a punch on the arm. 

“Hey!” Tucker protested. 

Sam ignored him, instead reading the writing on the banner behind the table. “Chaotic Resemblance. Who are these guys anyway? They’re not on the flier.”

“We got added last minute.” A blond man, late twenties with a lip ring, looked up from his phone, putting the device in his pocket. “We’re good friends with the guys in the Protest and playin’ a few hours away tomorrow.” The man shrugged. He had an odd accent Danny couldn’t quite place. “Figured we could swing by.”

“Cool.” Danny said with a slight smile. He had no idea who this band was but the prospect of hearing cool, new music was always exciting.

Briefly, names were exchanged; the man’s name was Travis, yet another lead singer. He asked the trio if they’d heard of any of the other bands playing today and who they were excited to see.

“GFM.” Sam’s eyes sparkled. “I’ve been following their vlog for like a year now. The music kicks ass. And their music videos! I love the one for SMILE.” She stopped, blushing in seeming embarrassment from the rant. “So, yeah. I’m excited.”

Travis laughed, expression open and kind, before asking Tucker and Danny the same question. The technogeek mentioned reading a review of The Protest’s new ep on a music website he liked and listening to the songs a bunch. And Danny…

“Relent’s super cool. Sam introduced them to me, since they’re on that same label GFM used to be on.” He blushed, cheeks scrunching up with his smile. “I’ve listened to the new cd like a hundred times. Especially Ghost and Heavy.” Just a hint of sadness brushed his mind at the thought of that second one. “I… really like those songs.”

“You’ve gotta learn the words, right.” Tucker elbowed him playfully. 

The halfa just felt more embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, well uh…”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Travis leaned forward, a conspiratory twinkle in his eye. “Let me tell you a secret. We love it when fans know the words.”

“Really?” Danny asked hesitantly.

“Yep.” The man nodded. “So you better sing really loud for those guys.” The half ghost nodded eagerly. Then, suddenly strumming sounded from the stage. Travis’ head jerked in the direction. “Oh, we’re sound checking. I have to go. It was great talking to you.”

Again, the trio watched him go. And Danny’s shoulder untensed. He felt better, embarrassment and lingering sadness gone. He knew all the words to Heavy because, well… he’d listened… and cried through the song many times. It’s not like anyone could blame him, right? The last two months had been the hardest of his life. But he’d gotten through it. He’d learned and he’d grown. And that song had been a tiny part of that.

Shaking the thought away, the trio of friends returned to their spot near the front. On the way they passed Danny’s mom and dad, both seated in their camping chairs with what looked like a few other parents. Jazz and a teen with black spiky hair and a nose ring stood on the other side of the stage, a little ways back.

The trio stood in front of the stage, excitement building as the band checked their sound. Minutes later, the musicians walked off, leaving the stage bare and ready. Music crackled to life on the speakers. Pre Recorded but familiar, fast paced and energetic, from bands Danny recognized. Anticipation grew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shadows were lengthening now, the golden light of late afternoon bathing the scene. The wind blew gently, not too hot or too cold. And the crowd gathered, people packing closer together near the stage. The half ghost’s heart fluttered with excitement. The show must be starting soon…

A cheer rang out around him. The boy looked up.

“Who’s ready to rock?!” It was an older man, maybe ten years older than his dad, bald but with a big, wispy beard and tattoos in a biker jacket. “I’ve always wanted to say that.” He chuckled. “I’m Dave. I’ve been volunteering with Guardians of the Children for ten years now. We’re so excited to have all of you guys here today. ‘Specially these awesome bands on the Gotta Rock ‘em all Tour.” 

Another cheer rose up and Dave clapped. “Yeah! Give it up for these dudes.”

“Woo!!” Danny yelled, voice joining his friends.

More clapping and cheering… slowly the sound died down.

The older man pointed. “Later, one of my buddies is goin’ to tell you all about what we Guardians do. But now… are you ready to have your faces melted!?”

“Yeah!” “Woo!” “Yeah!” The half ghost caught a glimpse of Sam, her fists already in the sky. Tucker, mouth open to yell.

“Our first band wasn’t originally planned to be here. They’re on their own tour now but makin’ a special trip to see us. I love these guys. If you’re in my generation, you’re in for a treat.” Dave’s eyes sparkled knowingly. “Give it up for… Chaotic Resemblance!”

To cheers, the band sauntered onto stage, one by one. The drums pounded, cymbals clashing. Then the bass, an easy strum. The guitar, with a flourish and…

“How are we doing, Amity Park?!” Travis ran onto stage, now in a jean vest with studs and hair unbound.

The first song started, unfamiliar words fast. The guitars slung notes, fast and driving. The singer’s voice rose, high and resonating, with a twang. 

Danny bobbed his head, a smile growing as he listened. The sound tickled his ears. This was cool! Not his typical style for sure. Maybe it was closer to something he’d heard his parents listening to…? 

A hint of a bridge. The guitar solo. On stage, hair flew. The song swept up. 

Around the half ghost, the crowd was swept up with it. Danny’s heart beat faster, hair flopping on his forehead with his movement.

The chorus, on final time…. 

“It's time we break!” Travis half-sung, half-yelled.  “The identity crisis toda-ay!” The note held out, long high and reverberating. Instruments clashed, one finally flurry of head-banging. 

With a final shout, the sound died…. And the crowd cheered.

“Yeah!!” The halfa clapped, the motion big and exuberant.

One voice rose above the rest. “Woah! Radical, dudes!”

Danny looked back, cheeks bright red. That was his dad, hands up and grinning like a mad man.

On stage, Travis chuckled, pointing. “Thank you, sir.”

The half ghost face palmed….

The show rolled on, embarrassment long forgotten. 

“We’ve got one last song!” The singer started. “Thanks for having us.” A cheer from the crowd. The guitars started shredding. “We love you guys. God bless.” A final yell. “Let’s start a riot!”

Travis pumped the air with a fist. “Hey! Hey! Hey!”

Soon the crowd was copying….

Jumping. Hair slinging. Figuring out what to do during the song was natural, the crowd moving as one. 

“This is the Riot Anthem!” 

“Riot! Riot!” The boy’s heart pumped, grinning.

“Our final call to action!”

“Riot! Riot!” He shouted, fist punching the sky…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The set ended but the show went on, Relent playing next, just as the sun was starting to set.

“What you're about to see is not for free. No, I ain't got time for apologies!” Danny spat the words to the much loved song. “I'm a south boy killa. No scope headshot winner.” Screaming. “I can feel something staring at me!”

Bouncing, the half ghost’s spirit soared.

But the next song was Heavy. “I wrote this song based on my wife’s story. She’s been through so much. So many horrible, painful things. But she’s come out victorious.” The singer’s eyes flicking over the crowd. “So I hope her story helps people. I hope it helps you remember you’re not alone. And it helps you find the strength to break the silence and talk about the things that aren’t talked about enough.”

The drums pounded, slow and steady. The emotional words rang out. “I cannot take the pressure. This feels like forever…”

Danny sang along, vision threatening to blur…. 

The singer fisted the mic, eyes closed. “Look what you did to my soul. Look at the size of the hole.” He lamented. Tears collected in the corners of the half ghost’s eyes.  “Why do I, why do I, why do I feel so heavy?”

The song trickled to a stop and Danny’s heart squeezed. He whipped the tears away….

One final Relent song. The music pounded. Danny jumped and head-banged, excitement returning. His head swung at the bridge, the best part of the song. He sung. “Time’s up! What! What! What! Welcome to the-”

A puff of cold air. Danny stumbled to a stop, looking side to side. His eyes caught on… he blinked. A young man with sandy blond hair, a leather jacket. Was that… the motorcycle ghost he saw in the Zone?

Nervous curiosity squirmed in Danny’s gut as the set ended with a bang. The instruments pounded as the people cheered. With waves, the band left the stage.

The half ghost glanced back, his eyes meeting the other ghost’s. The biker raised an eyebrow. Danny turned back to the front, biting his lip. He should probably go talk to the guy. There was a little time before GFM started.

He tapped on Sam’s shoulder who turned as he leaned closer. “Save my spot. Be back soon.” The goth’s brow furrowed for just a second. Then Danny muttered. “Ghost.” He vaguely motioned with his head.

With no more discussion, he ran off, weaving through the crowd. Sure enough… there was the biker ghost. Johnny? That was what the green haired woman he’d been with before had called him, right? Quickly, Danny approached, half a dozen questions buzzing in his head. But what came out of his mouth…

“You should put that thing out.” His eyes narrowed at the death stick in Johnny’s hand. “Don’t you know cigarettes can kill you?”

The older ghost burst out laughing. “Shit, kid.” He dropped the cigarette, the object disappearing into mist as it fell. “How can you even see me?”

“You’re standing right in front of me.” The halfa raised a brow, arms crossed.

“I’m invisible.” He rolled his eyes like it was obvious. “You a medium or something?”

“A medium? What-” 

“Shit, I’ve seen you before.” The biker interrupted, snapping his finger. “You look like that twelve year old who was looking for his Mama.”

“I’m fourteen!” Danny bared his teeth. A cold feeling flickered in his eyes, green light swirling in them. 

“Holy….” The other ghost’s eyes widened. “I thought you were the live twin to your dead bro. But… holy f-king hell….” He pointed. “You’re a halfa.”

Said halfa dropped his arms. “What… How?… I just flashed my eyes and knew it like that?”

“I felt it, now that I’m actually lookin’ at ya…” Somehow, Johnny’s eyes widened more. “How come I didn’t feel it before?”

Danny blushed. “That’s complicated…” He shook his head. “What are you doing here?” The question was curious, just a hint of suspicion. 

“Watching a show.” He motioned to the stage, matter-of-fact. “Me and Kitten stumbled on a natural portal. Thought we’d have a bit of fun.” He leaned forward, voice lowering. “She’s good about knowing how long one’s gonna be open. Said we’ve got ‘til midnight.”

Danny’s brow furrowed. So that was apparently a thing…? But he didn’t ask. Instead he looked side-to-side…. “Where is she?”

“Snooping around backstage.” The other ghost grinned, mischievously, a hint of sharp teeth flashing.

New suspiciousness flashed in his eyes. A desire flickered- to get the thermos and catch the two ghosts before anything happened. But…. the boy sighed. Johnny was just standing here, watching the show like any other concert goer. He sounded like he was enjoying the music. Maybe Danny could hope….

Danny rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Can you at least try not to cause trouble?”

“Trouble?” The man laughed. “We won’t do nothing too bad.” He winked. “Besides, I’m digging these guys… and girls?” His eyes widened slightly, set on something behind. Probably GFM getting on stage. He shook his head, expression just a bit more genuine. “Believe me, the last thing I want is to stop the party.”

At that, Danny sighed. Behind him, cheers started. “Great. I’ll be near the front. Have fun.” He started turning to leave. “And really, don’t try anything. My parents are ghost hunters after all.” He pointed a thumb to the two Fentons adults, standing in front of their chairs. “You saw that big gun my Mom had in the Realms? She knows how to use it. And…” He flashed his eyes. “My folks aren’t the only ones’ armed.”

For a second, Johnny’s face paled, nervousness flickering across it. Then he smirked, summoning another cigarette with a flick of his fingers. “Alright, kid.” Burgeoning respect shone in those eyes. “See you ‘round.”

Danny ran back to the front, pushing through the crowd. In front of him, pink-colored smoke still shot up from the stage. He arrived at his spot just as Maggie ran on stage. 

“What is up Amity? I need you all to make some noise for me tonight!” Arms spread, head back, the teen brought the mic to her mouth and growled….

“Don’t tell me to! Don’t tell me to! SMILE.” A guttural yell. 

Hair flying. The crowd chanted around him. “S.M.I.L.E. Why don’t you smile for me?”

His feet pounded, his heart pounded, sweat running down his back. Beside him, Sam spat the words; he could almost hear her growling along. Tucker banged his head, glasses hanging on for dear life. Even so, his friends’ faces shone with gleeful happiness.

The second verse swung around, the chorus again. Danny’s mind filled up with the words, the rhythm. No room for anything more than the sheer exuberance.

The guitar and bass cut off, drums pounding the beat. “Okay, everyone settle down. Boys and girls, are you ready?” The guitarist, CJ, more chanted than sung.

The crowd clapped and yelled, hands in the air.

“LuLu, are you ready?” Pointing at the drummer. “I know I’m ready!” With a grin. “Maggie, are you ready?” Voice pitched up, a performatively raised brow. “Maggie?”

A pause. The audience held their breath, gripped with anticipation and...

“Go!” A growl from said teen. The breakdown hit.

And the crowd lost it. Jumping. Headbanging. Pushing and shoving. Moshing. The horde jolted. Someone ran past Danny. And…. they were circling?! The half ghost grinned manically. 

“Jack!”

His ears twitched at the cry. A look back, eyes widened. And… Danny just about felt his soul leave his body. His Dad… his dad was in the circle pit. A flash of worry. But the man was keeping up no problem, sure on his feet. 

Danny chuckled, turning back to the front as the last chorus started. His voice joined the rest. At least his dad was having fun….

“Anyone want cupcakes?!” Maggie yelled.

This was it, the last song! And there they were: clear plastic containers with neon-frosted confections. The famed cupcakes!

“Misery loves company, I bet you're fun at parties.” Cupcakes flew. “Chasing after all the things you think will make you happy.” Instinctively, Danny ducked. “You've been played so many times, you'd make the perfect barbie.” The sugary goodness rained down. “Pretend your life's a fairytale, the story's getting boring….”  The guitar sped up, fingers flying across the cords.

Adrenaline rushed through his veins, heart pounding a mile a minute. He sang his lungs out. “I don’t need your fantasy!” 

Beside him, Sam’s eyes shone with passion, a balled fist to the sky. “'Cause I'm gonna say, gonna say what I wanna say…” 

A cupcake nailed her in the shoulder, pink icing smearing across her shirt and face. Danny laughed, pointing. The shocked look on her face!

“…my voice. You can't take it away!”

Something chocolate brown and blue flew at his face. The half ghost flailed to catch and… 

“You can’t!”

Blue icing coated his hands. He dropped the cupcake…

“You can’t! You can’t!”

Right into Tucker’s hands. The technogeek smirked, taking a huge bite. 

Danny lost it, bursting out laughing. Mind, body, heart, and soul wrapped up, caught up in the moment. Just him and the beat. The stickiness on his hands. His grinning, screaming, laughing friends. The press of the crowd around him. The words pouring out of his mouth. 

“This is my life, my voice. You can't take it away!”

His core sang, buzzing inside him. This. This right here. It was amazing, incredible, perfect. The feeling almost euphoric. 

This is awesome! The words were more yelled in his head than thought. An almost physical thing, like throwing the idea with his mind to-

“Misery loves company, I bet you're fun at parties.” Sam’s jump sent her careening into him. “Chasing after all the things you think will make you happy!” She’s never looked so happy to be wearing pink.

The breakdown. Tucker’s flailing arm jolted his side, icing smeared around the technogeek’s  mouth.

“Now, you’ll see… I don’t need your fantasy!” With bared teeth, head raised to the sky, Danny had never felt so alive….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The set ended with a bang, the clashing of instruments as people cheered. The three sisters left the stage. The previous soundtrack started again, so much quieter than the live music. The half ghost almost felt the crowd breath out, decompress as one of the Guardian of the Children volunteers came up to speak. The mass of people shifted, the space for moshing filling in as some snuck closer to the front and others left. Jazz and Spike drifted closer, standing right beside Danny and his friends.

Danny took a breath, whipping his sweaty forehead.

His sister laughed, giving him a knowing look.

The boy raised a brow. “I’ve got icing on my face now, don’t I?”

“Yep.” Jazz’s tone was full of teasing.

“You want some?” With a grin, the little brother swiped for her.

“Danny!” The older teen shrieked, jumping away.

“Come on! Let me give you a high five!” He reached again.

Jazz weaved, dodging. “No!”

“Come on!” Danny got her right in her face.

“Ew! It’s sticky!” The girl fished in her bag, pulling on a sleeve of wet wipes. Frustiously, she whipped at the blue frosting. “Here, you heathen.” She shoved the package at her brother.

The boy rolled his eyes but obliged, whipping his hands. It did feel nice to get the sticky feeling off them. 

A sudden screeching sound through the mic brought Danny’s attention back to the speaker. 

The older man speaking smiled sheepishly. “Got too close to the mic there. As I was saying…”

What was the man saying? Danny should probably pay attention…

The boy shuffled foot to foot, watching, listening. He was getting tired from standing here so long. And thirsty. He’d sung, and screamed, and sweated a lot. He glanced back, wanting to go get some water. But his coveted spot…

Another screech. Danny’s gaze jolted back, focus returned. The mic was giving the guy problems, huh? He watched the stage, the lights  slowly brightening in the growing darkness. It was well past sunset now. A flicker of movement below the stage caught Danny’s attention. Some thing darted by, dark and strangely formless. That was weird… 

A few more minutes and the volunteer finished speaking, leaving the stage. The soundtrack returned as the lights on the stage dimmed.

Danny’s insides fluttered, anticipation rising again. He was still tired, previous emotional high lessened. But the last band was about to come on soon! The headliner!

Beside him, Tucker shook with excitement. “Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome.”

Danny nodded. The lights shifted, spot lighting the drums. And…

“Make some noise, Amity!” Josh ran on stage, jumping. “I wanna see you on your feet!”

The music rumbled and the crowd obeyed. A roar from the background track. Josh fisted the mic and growled. “I caught you like the monster hiding under my bed. Now I’m gonna rip you right out of my head! Like a baseball to the side of the face, I’ll make you disappear without a trace.” Heads bobbed, hands raised. “The match is in my hand… The match is in my hand!” The crowd shook, starting to jump. “You’re just a paper!”

A deafening pop and sound and lights died.

“A paper tiger!” The last yelled words sounded, only audible because of how close Danny was to the stage. 

For a few more seconds, the crowd continued jumping, the band still trying to play as Josh sang without amplification . “Nothing more than a… silver tongued… liar?” 

But the movement stalled, fizzling out. The half ghost stumbled to a stop, brow furrowing in confusion. Around him the crowd started to murmur.

On stage, the guitarist closest to the trio, short cropped hair and bare faced in a tank top, stummed, no sound coming through the speaker. His head turned toward the others already gathering around the drum set. “Did we just lose power?”

The drummer shrugged. One of the lights flashed on, randomly swiveling on its display. The spotlight shone right in the short haired musician’s face. “Woah!” He closed his eyes, head jerking away. The sound echoed out. The man blinked. “Hey, the mic’s back.”

More strumming attempts. Josh tried his mic again, lowering it with a confused look. The drummer motioned to something on the laptop set up beside the kit.

The guitarist turned his attention back to the audience. “Well, that’s how you know it’s live and we’re not just playing over a recording.” He laughed, strumming his guitar and making a face. “Anyone want to hear a joke?”

Under the stage something black flickered again. Danny titled his head, brow furrowed.

“What's a vampire's favorite kind of candy?” He gave a pause for effect, murmurs of question coming from the audience. Then… "A sucker."

Around him, people chuckled lightly, several groaning at the bad joke. On stage, the man continued. “There’s more where that came from. What do….”

The words drifted over Danny’s head, unable to keep his attention. Instead, his focus was on a… weird, unnaturally dark shadow. It undulated, half-slinging-half-crawling in the recesses under the stage. 

Another electric pop. The lights swiveled.

Danny almost swore he heard laughter….

The half ghost’s head turned side to side, looking. Was… no one else really seeing this?

The creature…. The ghost (it must be another ghost, with the way his ghost sense was swirling in his throat) chuckled again, static echoing through the speakers.

A few people winced, covering their ears. “Okay, okay, no more dad jokes.”

Somehow no one was seeing the ghost. How? Other people had been able to see the Lunch Lady and Dora. Wait…. It must have been the partial invisibility like Sidney showed him. But why…

“Hey!” The word was hissed, just a hint of ghostly echo. 

Danny’s head jerked, looking for the source of the noise. His gaze scanned the crowd. For just a second, his eyes met his mother’s, her brow wrinkled in concern as she stood up. 

Then… his gaze met a wavering, ethereal figure. Johnny…

“Cut it out!” The ghostly man hissed. He drifted forward, unseen by the crowd even as he literally, intangibly floated through them. 

Danny’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “I’m not doing anything.” He muttered hotly, earning a confused look from Tucker.

The biker ghost “What? No, not-” Another crackle cut off the word, the man covering his ears. His eyes narrowed, fixing on….

The strange embodiment of darkness. 

Oh. Danny realized 

“Cut it out, Shadow.” The man complained. “I’m actually enjoying this. Go make a kid drop their ice cream or something.”

Danny raised a brow at that last part but Johnny waved him off, attention still on the shadow.

“I’ll bring out the flashlight, man. Just you keep it up and see.” The other ghost threatened.

The living (unliving? undead?) shadow seemed to deflate. With something like a sigh, it zipped off.

The lights came back on. “Hey!” Several positive shouts came from the stage. 

“Now we’re getting somewhere!” Danny picked up the words, from the other guitarist and unamplified.

The half ghost turned his attention back to Johnny. “What was that about?” He asked quietly.

The man shrugged. “There’s a reason they call me Unlucky Johnny 13.” He motioned, waving in the general direction the shadow had gone. “Thing’s got a mind of its own.”

That… answered no questions. But the other ghost ignored Danny’s confused look, instead lifting a hand. “There you are Kitty.” His eyes lit up and in a blink, he disappeared, materializing at the green-haired woman’s side seconds later.

Danny just blinked, taking in what had just happened. That was… something.

“...feel like my ears are burning. They’re talking about me, aren’t they?” The words drew the half ghost’s attention back. The guitarist pointed his thumb at his bandmates. “I’m being voted out of the band, aren’t I?” The look was falsely aghast. “This’ll be my last show with the Protest, guys. It’s been fun.”

What the heck had he missed?

Just then, his mom tapped on his shoulder.

Danny turned jerkily, surprised. “When did you get here?”

The woman’s brow furrowed in concern. “You had a strange look on your face. Is everything alright sweetie? ”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” His eyes flickered to the two ghosts standing at the edge of the crowd. The halfa’s voice lowered, stepping closer to the woman. “There’s two ghosts, the biker couple we saw in the Realms. And this weird shadow ghost that was messing with the sound. The dude, Johnny, yelled at it to stop and it flew off somewhere.”

His mom looked in the direction his gaze had flickered. “I can’t see them.”

“I don’t think anyone else can either. Just me.” The boy shrugged. “It’s a ghost thing.”

“What are they doing?” She asked.

“Just watching the show. Johnny said they came through a natural portal and wanted to have some fun.”

Her forehead wrinkled in worry at the statement. “A natural portal again?”

“We’re good to go!” The crowd cheering interrupted Danny’s response. Josh’s words echoed. “Let’s start this again.” 

“We can talk later.” Danny had to raise his voice to be heard. Accepting a nod in response, he turned back to the front.

The band was walking off the stage, only to return moments later to cheers. 

The instruments pounded. The singer held the mic to his mouth and… “I caught you like the monster hiding under my bed….”

The song started again and Danny jumped, previous confusion and worry quickly forgotten.

“You’re just a paper! A paper tiger! Nothing more than a silver tongued liar! Paper! Paper Tiger! Incinerated by my new found fire!”

The crowd jumped and screamed. Song after song, excitement built.

Josh sang. “You may feel a change but don't be afraid.” 

“The transformation has just begun!” The short-haired guitarist quipped with a grin, pointing at the audience….

The words half-chanted. “In the freak show. In the freak show. In the freak show.” Hands flailed, shoulders shook as Danny and his friends danced.

 “Your mind will be blown away! Hey!” Each word punctuated by a fist to the sky. “Hey! Hey!” 

“Welcome to the Freakshow!” Second chorus ending, the crowd reached a fever pitch.

His heart beating in time with the music, Danny head-banged. His hair flung, dripping with sweat.

Something square and silver at the edge of his vision. Head turned, brow furrowed. His mom had her phone out, lens facing him. 

The boy snorted. Sore neck bobbing faster, he stuck out his tongue at her….

In the small break before the next song… “You’re supposed to take pictures of the band, not me!” Danny laughed…

The set forgaged on. Shredding guitars, pounding drums, screamed words. The songs were incredible. And the message in between…

“If you leave here tonight with one thing, know that you are loved so much. Do you guys understand me?” Murmurs of agreement. “So much. You have no idea.” Josh’s eyes were wide and earnest, so much conviction behind the words. “After we’re done playing tonight, we will be over at the merch tent. Please come talk to us. You are looking at four sinners so we don’t have all the answers, I promise you that. We don’t. We would love to hear your story. We’d love to pray with you. We’d love to talk with you. That’s why we’re here. That’s why all of these bands are here, why we drove hundreds of miles to be here today. To share the hope that we have in Jesus. We love you guys so so much. Come hang out with us. We’ve got a few more for you….”

Danny’s heart squeezed, something deep in him touched by the words. He didn’t know about all of this, but that offer… to be heard, to be listened to. There were plenty of things he couldn’t say but…

Another song started. By now, the almost euphoric excitement had smoothed, lessened, morphed into a more quiet, heartfelt joy. Even still, the words sent goose bumps over the half ghost’s arm.

“This is the time for life revolution

Setting a course to reclaim the broken.

We look to find those lost in the night.

Following hearts that lead like a compass

Fire will rise and we let it guide us.”

The singer leaned over the crowd and the half ghost sang, his soul pouring into each syllable. “Despite the pain, we’ll stay unbroken.” 

Each voice ringing in harmony, brown eyes and blue eyes met. Something in Danny’s chest fluttered, breathless and awed. He could never describe the feeling, not completely.  But when gazes met… belief resonated. Both meant every single word….

To cheers, the set ended. The lights dimmed as people started walking away. And for a long moment, Danny stood in front of the stage, eyes wide and heart light. That amazed feeling stirred…

“We need to get a picture!” Jazz’s hand on his shoulder drew him out of himself.

“Yeah. Go for it.” The boy smiled, letting his sister put her arm around him. 

The pair took a selfie, each with matching grins. The red-head lowered the phone. And Danny finally registered his friends and family hovering around him.

“That first band was so good!” His dad gushed. “They’re just like that band I was in in college! Good ol’ Skunk Punks! But they’ve got much better hair. And better lyrics.”

“Your strengths are in things other than lyrical composition, dear.” His mom graciously didn’t speak on the hair comment. 

Sam pulled him and Tucker across the grass. “We need to get pictures with everyone! And merch! I want one of like everything.”

“Yes! I need the GFM snapback. Their set was so good!” The technogeek laughed, pointing at the icing staining her shirt. “They got you to wear pink. And.” He puffed out his chest. “I’m the only one who didn’t get icing on them

The goth rolled her eyes but then a mischievous look passed her face. “That’s what you think.” 

“What are you- Hey!”

She swiped a glob of crusting icing from her shirt and shoved it at him. “Ha!”

“Not my beret! Sam, how could you!?”

Danny just laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone bought merch. The Relent Ghost shirt and a wristband for GFM and The Protest for Danny. For Sam, the pink and black skateboard, a delightfully cute and creepy pink, green, and black shirt, and a bunch of CDs. (“Who even buys CDs anymore? You can just stream that.” Tucker wrinkled his nose. The goth pulled his hand down over his face. “I want to actually support the bands I like, Tucker. Spotify doesn’t deserve a cent.) The technogeek proceeded to buy his own CD and his coveted snapback.

Danny’s parents even got in on the action. Dad apparently bought a Chaotic Resemblance shirt for everyone in the family. And the famed pink leather bracelet.

Pictures were taken with every band. 

“A silly one next!” Noses were scrunched up in ridiculous expressions. Two members of the Protest pretended to be punching each other. Danny laughed more still.

Words were exchanged, excited ones about the show….

“Awesome set!” Each GFM member was offered a high five.

More casual ones, about school and interests. (Unsurprisingly Josh and co were very personable.)

“Yeah. I just started ninth grade. It’s going pretty well.” “What’s your favorite subject?” “Science. I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut…”

And somber ones.

The last band Danny got to speak to was Relent. His heart twisted, words lingering heavy on it. You should say something, a voice in him, not audible but very much present, whispered. The ghost boy listened.

“The last few months have been… really hard for me, for a bunch of reasons. But… I’ve listened to your song, Heavy a bunch of times. And it’s really helped me. Like… uhh… when I couldn’t sleep and just wanted to cry. And… yeah. I’ve listened to it alot and all your other songs so…. Thanks for writing them and putting them out. And… uh… thanks for being here tonight.”

Danny looked down, nervousness flopping his stomach.

“That’s why we write songs and tour.” The lead singer (In their introduction, Danny learned his name was Miggy.) “Like I said on stage, I hope that our songs help people. Thanks for telling me, man.” His expression softened, earnest. “Do you mind if I pray for you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Danny’s friends and family walked back towards the GEV, the boy lingered for just a moment to look over the field. For just a second, three ghostly figures flickered into existence. Kitty and Johnny, the black shadow curled at the man’s feet, floated in front of the stage, unseen by all except the half ghost. The man nodded in his direction, lifting a cigarette-gripping hand. The green-haired woman waved.

Danny returned the gesture, lips quirking as the couple disappeared. He had a feeling he’d be seeing them again.

With the ghosts gone, the boy turned his attention back to the activity across the field. The bands were still active, packing up instruments and putting them in the vans and buses. Soon enough the stage would be torn down as well, leaving no evidence of the concert that had been here. 

Even so, the half ghost’s heavy heart felt lightened. He felt better after talking to Miggy; that had been good for him. The boy sighed. This had been an incredible night. 

Sam bumped his shoulder. “Come on. Tucker asked and your dad said he’s taking us to Nasty Burger for shakes.”

It looked like the night wasn’t over yet.

Everyone piled into the GEV and his dad pulled out, leaving the almost empty parking lot. A few minutes later found the trio sitting at a picnic table outside the restaurant, each nursing their own shake.

Chatter batted back and forth, jokes and memories. The three looked through the pictures that had been taken.

“That’s a good one! You got him mid-head bang.” Tucker pointed while he and Danny leaned over Sam’s phone, admiring a picture of Josh Bramlett with his hair spread in a halo above him.

“I love this one.” The goth swiped. This photo was of GFM’s drummer, an excited grin plastered on her face.

“Drummer pics are so hard to get! That’s awesome.” Danny congratulated.

The conversation continued on, milkshakes almost finished and… 

The half ghost sighed. “Thanks guys for being there.” 

That got him strange looks. “Dude, of course we were going to come to the show with you.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I…” Danny shook his head. He wasn’t exactly sure what prompted this line of thinking but… “I mean…. Thanks for being here for me. With the accident and then splitting myself. I know it’s been hard and you’ve been the best friends I could ask for.” He’d told them as much at Sam’s that day, when they’d convinced Phantom to talk to Fenton about re-fusing and his denial of his death. And even before that…

He blushed. “You guys are the ones who convinced Phantom me to stop denying we were the same person. You guys… you saw me.. You knew me even when I didn’t know myself. So…” He bit his lip. “Thanks for sticking with me,” There in the Hot Topic dressing room, after his ghost self had flown off… “even when I was a jerk to you guys.” 

His friends’ expressions softened. “You really don’t have to thank us, Danny. That’s what friends are for.” Sam said.

“Yeah.” Tucker smiled. “We’re your friends. Of course we’ll stick by you. You’d do the same for us.”

Danny sighed, shaking his head. “Like I said, you guys are the best.”

His best friends both reacted out. An awkward group hug… the table in the middle had just their arms touching each other, heads close together. But Danny closed his eyes, heart warm.

This really had been the best day.

End note: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it. :) As always, feel free to let me know what you liked.

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Rating Hayden Christensen movies Part 1

Thank you to @quinnsstars for the original post. I actually reblogged and added thoughts/ratings to her post but I just wanna put it in the tag in case anyone else might appreciate the ridiculous ratings and reviews lmao

Me and @jillybean1217 as we have now watched the following Hayden Christensen movies (as I’ve read in HC’s tag here on Tumblr, it’s not a Hayden flick if there’s not Tears or Tits or Both so that’s one of the Rating Categories):

Outcast

Movie: 3 / 5

Hayden: 10 / 5

Tears or Tits: Both!

I’m always going to be partial to a long on top but shaved on the sides haircut on a handsome man. Hayden is a Crusader Knight named Jacob while Nicholas Cage is a Knight named Gallain.

Hayden is so amazing in fights: super graceful in both hand to hand combat and with any type of sword. Jacob does lean towards Legolas levels of skill in this which isn’t terribly believable as he’s human, on opium (which he sticks in his mouth like it’s chewing tobacco??), and more often than not just this side of mortally wounded 😄 Yet he persists and looks so good whilst doing it. Covered in blood is a look I didn’t know i was into either, ha. The only minus for me with him was his accent went from British to Irish to Scottish, with Canadian slipping through kind of consistently.

Tears or Tits: Tears cuz he goes through physical pain and tits out cuz he bathes / has to be patched up when hurt.

Nick Cage is being Nick Cage in this so if that’s entertaining for you, you’ll be entertained when Nick pops up. Unfortunately I just remained puzzled about Crusader Knights in ancient China. Don’t think it falls under white savior though cuz dude was just trying to be on opium lol

90 Minutes In Heaven

Hayden: 1 / 5

Movie: 2 / 5

Tears or Tits: Tears

I understand if this 1980s Tom Selleck mustachioed vibe is for someone, but it is not for me. Hayden also made a choice to make his character Don Piper - based on a real person - Colonel Sanders level Southern…which was WILD cuz we get a clip of the real pastor preaching at the end of the movie and he doesn’t have an accent, like, at all.

We have referred to this as a Jesus movie as it’s produced by a company specifically making religious movies, and Christianity might as well have top billing. I’m sure the message could be for someone, just not for me.

The dramatization of the story also was too illogical and wild for me. Tell me when State Police would tell a man to go ahead and pray for a victim and then allow this random person to walk into an accident scene, climb into a mangled car and then LAY HIS HAND ON THE CORPSE to pray for the person?!? Don was also portrayed as very selfish and almost childish cuz he couldn’t understand why God had let him into heaven only to bring him back to a lot of pain and suffering. His parents, his kids, and his wife provided no inspiration for him to get his attitude together and I found myself actively disliking him.

Tears or Tits: Tears, usually of pain, and some wild noises that out of context? I could appreciate 🤐

I love (and miss) rom coms which is what this is so I was down. I am such a sucker and a sap, I’ll watch the same plot 72 different ways (i watch all the Hallmark autumn movies every year). This is in no way original which doesn’t have to be a bad thing but this could have been done better. Tropes include: childhood friends to enemies, fck boi/sleep with everyone, rival families, leaving small neighborhood and return, 1-on-1 competition with each other.

Little Italy

Movie: 3.5 / 5

Hayden: 4 / 5

Tears or Tits: Tits

Leo Campoli (how he’s introduced at a local fest) / Leo Campo (how the character is credited at the end of the flick) is adorable. I’m just confused by his - and everyone’s - New York accents? Cuz the film takes place in Little Italy in TORONTO CANADA! I guess everyone thought “Italian accent” somehow was equivalent to New York accent which was disappointing.

Despite being the neighborhood bicycle, Leo is sweet, helpful and thoughtful. Super adorable. And i like his dark hair, makes his eyes pop. It’s just funny that they obviously did reshoots or shot at some point after the original shoot cuz his hair is distracting in its difference

And I just love this one of him "dancing"

Unfortunately Emma Roberts plays the other romantic lead and I don’t like her as a person (mean girl and transphobe). I also found her character unlikable in her “I’m better than my home” attitude, as well as just found her devoid of charisma or charm. If I’m not rooting for both leads in a rom com, it’s not a great movie for me.

Tears or tits: Tits! Gratuitous and wonderful

BONUS! He plays soccer in the rain.

I have plot bunnies for all of these characters (not proud about the phone sex PWP for the pastor lmaooooo) now lol

[50stradwife]

Hi are you willing to speak more on your religious journey? Do you now think being gay is a sin, I saw you wrote about how you at one time thought of same sex relationships? I’m curious and searching

I feel like I’m just going to invite hate by answering this but this is probably my only place online I can share my thoughts on this topic so, here we go.

I do believe that it is sinful, yes. Everyone knows of Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 which state that it is an abomination for man to lie with another man as he would a woman. A lot of people try to translate that in ways that change the context, but I do believe that’s what was intended. There are more passages that reiterate this too.

In Romans 1:26-27, Paul says that homosexuality is contrary to God’s natural order. Then again in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, it is clearly described as a sin that will prevent you from entering the Kingdom of God.

As for my own experience, I actually dated multiple girls as a teenager. I had always called myself “bisexual” or “pansexual” because I thought girls were so lovely and beautiful, and we are, women are gorgeous. I didn’t have any romantic feelings for any of those girls, but each of them were friends of mine that asked me out first, and since I loved them so much platonically and everyone around me was so encouraging of it I thought that I must love them the way I would a man. I didn’t actually fall in love with anyone until I met my now fiancé so I was never quite sure what that felt like.

We live in a really difficult time to navigate identity, especially as an adolescent. There’s so many ideas of what you should be or need to be thrown at you constantly, in your real life and online. I was born in 2003 making me Gen Z, and my entire teenage experience was everyone around me expressing themselves in some form of mental illness or subset of LGBT. I’ve struggled with my identity my entire life so I really went through probably every label I could’ve.

However, I would never judge or put down anyone else for what makes them happy in life, this is just my view on things as a Christian!

[r7iverett]

vent rant

mAN why do i feel guilty

I had a really good day today, got shit done, yet I feel guilty over saying “please don’t call me best friend”. Just 6 simple words are making me feel guilty for, what, sticking up for myself? Saying I’m uncomfortable with being called that by someone I don’t really like??

Oh, yeah, and I hate two people whose names are similar to mine!! One’s a fucking homophobe AND transphobe, the other one I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. And they’re both Christians. Nothing bad about being Christian, but they’re the “get Jesus and repent” kind. Man, I don’t know if I have religious trauma or what but I actually despise religious talk. Makes me wanna cry. I was in elementary when I was first shamed for believing in no god. ELEMENTARY. I was younger. Less mature. Less understanding of the world. And yet a fucking adult shamed me for believing in what I wanted. A full grown adult.

And now I’m put into a school full of Christians. And I’m the probably only atheist here. There may be one more but I’m not sure. But I feel like the only one. Luckily, I know someone who respects people who are gay and is Christian and doesn’t pressure it onto me 24/7. Because I hate people like that. I hate the person sitting next to me in TSA because they believe that gayness and being trans is wrong.

I hate the people sitting at the table next to me in ela because they’re so stupid and so immature. I hate my classmates in gateway because they’re so stupid to the point where they don’t know what basic reproduction is. They’re so fucking stupid. I hate them so much. I hate them. I hate my health class because people don’t ever listen or do anything except one person, and the people to the right of where I sit, except for one person because she’s actually smart, just don’t care. They don’t care about others. I hate the person who sits a bit ahead of me in health because they think my anger is funny. I hate everyone and anyone who thinks my anger is genuinely amusing. I hate it when people say “I understand you” and yet they don’t.

I hate everyone who says that. I hate anyone who says basic, negative human emotions are funny. How would you feel??? How would you feel if you were angry and people were laughing at you? How would you feel if people were pressuring something on you that you don’t believe in? How would you feel, hm? How would you feel if you were so emotional to the point where you isolate yourself for hours on end without other people’s voices and touch while you have a breakdown? How would you feel? And be honest, people! How would you feel?

People don’t understand. They don’t understand my brain. How I function. Funny how the only person who’s super super close to me (aka my mom) doesn’t understand my feelings. And yet people who I don’t interact as much with, such as one of my friends who’s present online but also an irl friend, understands me more than anything. Funny how my online friends get me more than my parents. My mom doesn’t understand anything. She says she’s the same way and yet she’s not. She’s compared sitting and standing once, saying they’re the same thing. /srs

I think my mom’s dense because they are, in fact, nkt the same thing. And I hate when she says “would you do this in class?”, because, NO. I WOULD NOT. But I’m doing it here, because it’s a non-public space, and no one can see me but myself, my brother and you. And I hate my dad, too. I don’t like him. I love my parents, but I don’t like my dad too much. I hate him more than I love him. He doesn’t believe someone can go by they/them pronouns, and as someone who prefers it when people refer to me with they/them online and partially irl, it makes me want to sob. He makes me feel like I’m pressured to shave. He doesn’t let me have headphones or my tablet at the table because he wants to “have a family dinner / lunch”. I wish you weren’t my dad sometimes. Because I don’t like you.

I feel like I’m too emotional. I cry too easily. I get angry too easily. And it doesn’t make it easier that I pressure myself. I pressure myself to get stuff done sometimes. I hate this. I hate my brain. Why must I do this to myself. And the only way I can relieve this hatred and sadness is either keeping it to myself or talking to people online about it.

I hate this. And I’m starting to hate me.

[unbidden-yidden]

So I don't remember if you've actually discussed this on the blog before, but my dad had a Jewish music playlist on while we were cleaning for Shabbat, and I was wondering if there's any musical telltale differences between Jewish and Christian music?

On another note, what would you say are the biggest differences between Jewish and Christian prayer?

Hi there!

I know you sent this forever ago (literally it was pre-Pesach, I’m sorry!!) but it’s taken me a while to really get my thoughts together on it. If it’s any consolation, this question has lived rent-free in my mind since you asked it, and I'm still not 100% sure I can put it into actual words, but I'm going to just do it inadequately, because you're right, it's been forever.

I think the problem I'm having is that defining broad categories of things is extremely difficult, especially things that are even broader, like genres or cultures. You know that post that's making fun of that guy for trying to define women as (essentially) just cis women, and then someone retorts "hey - define 'chair' in a way that includes everything that is a chair and excludes everything that isn't" and then when he says it's a seat for one person with four legs, someone responds with a picture of a horse?

That's really the problem here, I think.

There are a ton of factors that all add up to a gut-check reaction where I'm like, "yup, that sounds Xtian" or "oh that's definitely Jewish," and sometimes, I actually don’t immediately know! This is compounded and complicated by the fact that messianics exist and intentionally muddy the waters. I think, in light of that, using key examples as discussion points is really the best way to go about it, and so I’m just going to start there.

And actually, I’m going to narrow this further: I’m going to limit most of my discussion to Western European Xtian-centric music as compared to Ashkenazi-centric music. I am deeply unqualified to talk about, say, Eastern Orthodox music as compared to Temani music, or Arab Xtian music as compared to Mizrachi music. That is way out of my lane and I genuinely have no idea how these do or do not musically map onto Western European and/or Ashkenazi music traditions.

[Edit: This is only about the music part of this question. Your ask is actually two HUGE questions, so I’ll tackle that one next, in a separate post, as it definitely deserves its own entirely separate post. :)]

With that out of the way, I will now attempt to answer this, and due to the length, I’m going to put it beneath a cut.

PART I: The Paradigms

Let’s first start with what I’d describe as paradigmic examples. If we were talking about birds, these would be the song birds, not the penguins.

For Xtian hymns, I’d say that these ones are demonstrative:

This is the “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” of Xtian songs: Jesus Loves Me

And I doubt that there’s a more culturally iconic hymn than Handel’s Messiah

And finally, I’ll give you one of my favorites from my childhood that is also, in my mind, paradigmic for me if I’m trying to pull a Xtian hymn and Xtian music to mind: (This is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir version of it, which is much more classical than this objectively ridiculous version of it that I loved as a child and forced my parents to listen to on repeat every Xmas)

For Jewish zemirot, I’d say that these are illustrative:

Culturally, especially in pop culture, this is what everyone thinks of as The Jewish song: Hava Negila

However religiously, I’d say that there’s probably not a more iconic part of the liturgy than Avinu Malkeinu

And again, to give a personal favorite and paradigmic example of Jewish music if I’m trying to explain what Jewish liturgy is actually like to my non-Jewish friends: (This is the traditional version of Yedid Nefesh, which I also really like, and this is my favorite version of it from Nava Tehila

In addition to these paradigmic examples, I think it’s also helpful to list out some different categories of music for each. The reality is that we’re comparing apples and oranges if you hold up, say, pipe organ 100-person choir music against klezmer-inspired Chasidic pop music. It’s just not useful. So here are some categories that I think might help us here.

Categories of religious Jewish music:

Traditional liturgical

Acapella men’s (and sometimes women’s or mixed) groups

Boys' choirs

Classical (orchestral &/or operatic arrangements of traditional melodies)

Parody (not exactly a genre in its own right musically, but because these are Jewish parodies of other people’s music, they don’t follow the same rules)

Frum electronica and pop culture remakes

Contemporary liturgical

Someone steal the rabbi's guitar and confiscate the chazzan's box drum (aka let's repeat these two lines twenty times with feeling)

Niggunim

Klezmer or klezmer-inspired religious folk music

Israeli and traditional Mizrahi or otherwise Levantine versions of liturgical music

Sephardic versions of traditional liturgy

Smaller minhagim (e.g. Temani music)

Categories of religious Xtian music:

Traditional liturgical (hymnal songs)

Gregorian chant

Contemporary choir arrangements

Classical arrangements of hymns (organ, full orchestra, operatic vocals, etc.)

Bell choir music

Children's choirs

Gospel & Soul (I don't know enough to subdivide this better, but I'm certain it can be)

"Clean"/thematically Xtian remakes & parodies of pop/rock songs

Xtian Rock, Pop, & Country

Someone steal the youth pastor's guitar and make Susan put the tambourine away (anyone who's ever been to church camp or VBS knows what I mean by this)

Xmas carols (not really a genre, but are more often acapella than other songs for caroling reasons and also really have an extra something baked into them)

Folk music (e.g. - Celtic, Shaker music, work songs w/ strong Xtian themes, etc.)

Culture/nationality/location-specific versions of hymns, as well as Catholic/Eastern Orthdox/Protestant distinctions that are otherwise difficult to articulate

I'm sure I'm missing significant stuff from both lists, as I am creating these categories on the deeply unscientific basis of: this is what I have been exposed to or at least have some passing familiarity with. Additionally, I intentionally excluded music that is (for all intents and purposes) totally secular, but clearly from one culture or the other. While that exists for both, it gets into some existential questions about what “makes” a song Jewish or Xtian that is outside the scope.

Okay, so now we have our categories and paradigmic examples. What makes them so?

Let’s start with the obvious: Language

Xtian songs tend to be in English and Jewish songs tend to be in Hebrew or another Jewish-specific language, such as Yiddish, Ladino, Aramaic, Judeo-Arabic, etc. Of course, sometimes, English-speaking Jews will translate existing Jewish songs into English for accessibility to non Hebrew speaking Jews, or just write new songs in English. And of course, sometimes Xtians, specifically Catholics will sing in Latin, as the traditional masses used to be held in Latin. I searched for examples of Xtians singing in Hebrew, because there must be some examples from, say, Israeli Arab Xtians, but fuck me trying to find anything on YT that wasn’t messianic. Here’s one that I can’t instantly prove is messianic (but lbr, it probably is.)

I have argued before and will continue to die on the hill that language makes a huge difference. While obviously it’s possible to (re)create quintessentially Jewish music in any diasporic languages including English, and it’s equally possible to create Xtian songs in Hebrew, the language nevertheless does change the meaning of a song. Please take Maoz Tzur as an example – here’s a Hebrew-only version – and here is Zemirot’s version with the translation into English. Additionally, here is an OU article about what it means.

Now, I’m going to be honest: when I first came across the translation of Maoz Tzur, I was deeply uncomfortable with it. It sure didn’t feel very Jewish. In fact, it felt very Xtian. Especially since Chanukah and Xmas overlap typically, I honestly avoided doing more than hurriedly reading through the Hebrew and moving on during candlelighting.

Here are a couple versions that include an English version, both probably messianic: [1], [2]

Guess why this is low-hanging fruit for them – it’s because the direct, obvious translation sounds by all rights, like it should be Xtian! That said, you can tell that it’s very probably messianic, because of the exact wording for how it’s translated. All of the verifiably Jewish versions I came across use a different translation besides “Rock of Ages,” even if they reference that title to make sure it comes up in searches.

Here’s the bottom line: Hebrew as a language has always been a Jewish language, and the core theological concepts of Judaism are baked into the language at the root. There’s a reason it’s lashon ha-kodesh – not just because the Torah is written in it, but because it is impossible to fully remove the Judaism from it or remove it from Judaism. Meanwhile, English is a language that at this point is thoroughly inseparable from Xtianity and its theological concepts. You can certainly be a Hebrew-speaking Xtian or an English-speaking Jew, but you will then always be working in translation.

Let’s look at some examples:

Tzedekah vs. Charity

Emunah vs. Faith [1], [2]

Teshuva vs. Repentance

Chet vs. Sin

Geulah vs. Redemption

Vidui [1] vs. Confession [Catholic], [Protestant]

Each of these could be their own essay as to how and why they differ between the religions, but instead I’ll give you links to peruse on your own time that are decently representative of how I understand each of these different theological concepts. Given how different those extremely important concepts are and how much theology is baked into them, I hope it is obvious how different it sounds for me to daven (for example) the prayer for the state of Israel in Hebrew versus translating it into English:

אָבִינוּ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, צוּר יִשְׂרָאֵל וְגוֹאֲלוֹ, בָּרֵךְ אֶת מְדִינַת יִשְׂרָאֵל, רֵאשִׁית צְמִיחַת גְּאֻלָּתֵנוּ

Vs.

Our Father in Heaven, Rock and Redeemer of Israel, bless the State of Israel, the first manifestation of the approach of our redemption.

(Bonus: Check out how different these songs are, even though they use similar starting points: this vs. that)

This translation is quite literal and not technically incorrect, but as someone who was raised reciting the Lord’s Prayer, I cannot begin to daven a Jewish prayer by saying “Our Father in Heaven…” without being involuntarily vaulted back in time and back to church. It instantly ruins whatever kavana I had going on before that, and while this is an extreme example, it’s prevalent enough throughout the liturgy that I cannot daven meaningfully at any shul that holds very much of the service in English. I completely understand the impulse to accessibility for Jews who would like to better understand what they’re saying, but it does the opposite for me.

I would say that a lot of it oftentimes comes down to the specific phrasing of certain passages of the Tanakh/Bible that I happen to know as a Xtian translation or a Jewish one; or, certain phrases that are shorthand for a major theological concept in one or the other.

Moving on, another obvious but important common difference: Instruments

While there are definitely exceptions and plenty of commonalities, there are some key instrumental differences. Specifically, Xtians use bells in a way that I’ve never heard Jews use them – in fact, some congregations have entire bell choirs (source: I was in ours as a kid for holidays.) Here’s an example. Similarly, I’ve never heard Jews use organs, personally. Now, I know that some specific Reform congregations absolutely did, but they specifically did so to copy the protestant communities they were surrounded by. That said, I looked up Jewish organ music, and while I wouldn’t immediately probably be able to place it as Jewish, I also wouldn’t be surprised that it’s Jewish music based on the scales and musical progressions they use (more on this later.) Here’s an example I found.

On the other side, it is much less likely that you will hear common klezmer instrumentalities in mainstream Xtian music. If you look, you’ll absolutely find clarinet, oboe, violin, viola, etc. Xtian arrangements, but it’s much less common than in Jewish music. Similarly, it’s much more common to have acapella arrangements for Jewish liturgy and I haven’t really seen Xtian acapella parodies of pop music or pop culture references like you see especially in Modern Orthodox communities. (Note: apparently the Mormons really like their parodies also, but they aren’t acapella necessarily. Example: who wore it better – Mormons or Maccabeats?) I assume that the reason for this is two-fold – the acapella arrangements help make them replicable on Shabbat and Yom Tov, and also give us something to listen to during the Three Weeks and Sefirah. And finally, while I’m sure there probably is some sort of Xtian equivalent to niggunim (wordless melodies, often but not always acapella) I haven’t really come across it myself.

A third and critical distinguishing feature is: Scale

You and I talked about this a bit a while ago, so I’m going to include some of that in this post because it was super interesting (and frankly at this point you probably know more about it than I do.)

A critical difference in how Western European Xtian music sounds and how Jewish music sounds is that the former tends to use either a straight major or minor scale, whereas Jews tend to use the Phrygian scale (or, as one of my teachers referred to it, “Jewish major.”) Jews are also far more likely to use quarter-tones than Xtians, a style of music that comes primarily from the Middle East and Persia in particular. Here is a recent Jewish song that uses them. They can sound quite chaotic and dissonant to a Western ear, but if you give it a few listen-throughs, you start to adapt and really appreciate the tonality and emotion packed into them.

These differences are part of why Jewish music sounds like that and can have a somewhat unresolved feeling and timelessness to it, compared to the decisive and goal-oriented Xtian hymns. This stems from a basic theological difference: Jews seek an island in time from Shabbatot and Yom Tovim, and ultimately seek Olam ha-Ba, which is not here yet. Jews endure, and Judaism centers on what brings us home. Xtianity believes it has found redemption in Jesus, and has reoriented its goal upon getting as many other people to accept that redemption as possible.

Here are some sources about this:

https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/jewish-music-holy

https://jewishstudies.washington.edu/arts-culture/what-makes-music-sound-jewish/

https://offtonic.com/theory/book/7-6.html

https://biosidmartin.com/why-do-jews-sound-different/

A fourth, and in my opinion, less obvious aspect, is what I am going to call: Vocals.

Now, I’m sure there are actually legitimate musical terms for this, but I don’t personally know them. I will do my best to describe them instead.

Every genre of music has a sort of baseline standard for the singing style – the timbre, the types and amounts of flourishes and ornamentation, the pronunciation of the words being sung, etc. – even if there are individual artists and songs that diverge from those norms. Punk music generally expects middle-range voices (alto females, tenor males) that have a gritty texture to them, often involve some kind of non-singing vocalization, and often pronounce the words loosely or even slur words together. Opera generally expects extreme range in pitch from singers, powerful projection, vibrato, and lots of flowery ornamentation.

This comes into play for Xtian music vs. Jewish music. I’m not sure exactly how to describe the differences, except to say that it maps pretty closely on to how Jews and Xtians sound different when we speak. This is usually true even for comparable categories of music, where the vocal styles are otherwise similar. I would say that in my experience, this difference is starkest in the most traditional versions of each of the liturgies – compare the vocals of the singers in Handel’s “Messiah” to the cantor in “Avinu Malkeinu.”  

As a personal side note – this is actually something I’ve personally struggled with, because of my background. When I sing, I tend to – despite my best efforts – sound like a Presbyterian singing psalms in Hebrew rather than Jew davening tehillim. That was the vocalization I was trained in from a very young age and that is the sound and style I have in my ear. I have been slowly retraining myself, but it’s very much a process. If I can figure out how to embed sound clips of my own without having to upload them to youtube, I will share examples of me singing the same Psalm with the same melody, but in different tonalities – one which I associate heavily with how I was raised to sing hymns, and one which sounds much more Jewish to me.

So to circle back to our original prototypical examples – what makes them so?

Jesus Loves Me – typically in the category of children’s songs/sung by children’s choirs, it is in English and contains overt Xtian messages, instrumentation is usually just piano, scale is a simple major, vocals tend to be simple since they are from children.

Messiah – usually arranged for giant choirs with lots of orchestral and organ instrumentals backing them, in English, obvious Xtian messaging, scale is major, and vocals tend to be extremely formal, classical Western sounds.

Joy to the World – again, in English and with obvious Xtian themes, sung in large choirs with orchestral and organ backing with formal vocals in a major key. Even the ridiculous Mannheim Steamroller version that is instrumental-only still retains much of the sound of the traditional version in terms of scale and key changes, as well as instrumentation.

Hava Negila – frequently just sung acapella or with klezmer/folk instrument arrangements, Phrygian scale, in Hebrew, and vocals tend to be plain or with Jewish folk music flourishes.

Avinu Malkeinu – formal liturgical style vocals or chazzanut, nearly always acapella, Phrygian scale, and of course, it is in Hebrew.

Yedid Nefesh – tends to be acapella or with traditional Jewish folk music instrumentation; in the alternative, sometimes contemporary liturgical arrangements will be made with guitar, drums, etc., vocals tend to be simple or feature Jewish folk music flourishes. There are a number of melodies, but most of the ones I’ve heard use haunting melodies, typically in a Phrygian or minor key.

This is all basically background. Where I’m going with this next is to apply it to specific songs, in particular, ones that break out of this mold or are otherwise unusual.

[facetsofthecloset]

Ok now that I’m caught up with RWD s4e7,

(KINDA SPOILERY CHARACTER TALK INCOMING)

I feel like Kyana is rapidly becoming that thing that’s like,

“Oh yeah, everyone deserves grace and space to make mistakes and improve from them!

…

…

Not me though!! Obviously haha

If I make a mistake I deserve to self-destruct as hard as possible no matter how much it’ll hurt my friends, to atone :)”

Very religious trauma there which fits with the monk part, though I think the thing I’m thinking of with sin and redemption is kind of a Catholic thing? Maybe? I’m Shinto/Buddhist I don’t know shit about that other than pop culture Christianity lol (Also I know Red’s Jewish so probably weird. Again I don’t know shit about this or her personal views though so I’m gonna stop talking about it)

Not that she hasn’t dealt with guilt and assuming the “it’s all my fault” all or nothing attitude before, but definitely prominent in this ep lol

Red has described Kyana’s actions as selfish before (leaving the monastery and specifically Aioni) (am I spelling that right I’m too lazy to look it up rn Austin I hope you haven’t fucked me with your interesting spelling decisions here /j) and I think her desire to hurt the Nautiloid ship somehow instead of fleeing when they had the chance is also a very selfish action that comes from a place of guilt and martyrdom

And I’m pretty sure it’s going to lead to tension with everyone probably but Dani specifically later, which’ll be juicy drama but also incredibly painful lol

ESPECIALLY if one of them dies in the attempt >_>

Good god imagine if Dani dies for good while fighting the master brain or whatever and then Kyana has to later come to terms with the fact that her desire to get out her frustration over being stunned (which I think is the main and most immediate motivator here) for most of the combat led directly to one of her friends dying

I don’t think she’d handle that well and if anything would probably reinforce her guilt complex and need to self sacrifice. Could head into a Kyana Batman dark solo arc 😂

If

Idk what the spell slot situation is but if I were Dani or VRLA I’d definitely have grabbed her and tried to teleport out somehow (even though I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t work bc of the willing creature clause)

Anyway, just to say, I’m not criticizing Red or Kyana’s decisions at all! Just rambling about my feelings on it bc it’s one of the first major decisions that Kyana has made that I personally deeply disagree with and think is coming from a reeeaallly bad character-flaw-driven place

Which is narratively super interesting! I’m just stressed about the consequences lol

[circusgoth-dotcom]

Cigarettes & The House of God

Ship: Norman Verne (oc) x William Afton

Word Count: 1071

Summary: This is less self shipping and more I got the energy to make FNAF au content again, but I don't really feel like making a new FNAF blog so I'm posting this here I guess. Anywho, one of Norman and William's first interactions. CWs for religious mentions, smoking.

William Afton was never a pious man, and he hated being mistaken for a “Devout Christian,” but his parents had been Catholic and the church habit couldn’t be shaken. The upside, at least, was that it was another way to monitor his reputation. In a tiny town where everyone knows your name, big businessman or not, you learn to care deeply about perception and conversation.

Gossip is often deeper than just gossip. Good thing William was the best at keeping secrets close to his chest. Secrets like Michael’s mother, his flat relationship with his current wife, and his lack of empathy or true care for most people around him.

While the other churchgoers seemed absorbed in the pastor’s latest droning lecture, William’s mind wandered, as well as his gaze. Two pews ahead sat the newest community member in this sleepy town, a man he hadn’t caught the name of yet. He watched as he stood and excused himself quietly, padding to the back of the church. He clearly heard him exit through a side door and became intrigued, letting a minute or two pass before he told his wife he was going to use the restroom. Instead, William exited through the very door he heard open earlier, practically stumbling into the stranger, who jumped at his sudden appearance.

“Shouldn’t you be praying for your immortal soul?” William asked. The stranger was pale, almost sickly looking, and short, with round features, dark hair, and squared glasses. A cigarette crumbled between his lithe fingers and his face was flushed with embarrassment.

“I suppose I should, now that I’ve been caught skipping a sermon to smoke.”

William smiled, chuckling lightly. “Do you mind if I join you?”

The man blinked, then shrugged as he placed the cigarette between his lips. He retrieved the box from his pocket, along with a lighter engraved with the initials N.V.V. William retrieved a cigarette from the box and was handed the lighter.

“Care to tell me what this stands for?” He asked as he lit up and handed it back.

“Norman Veronica Verne. Yours?” Norman offered a hand after placing his items back in his pocket.

“William Pauly Afton.” They shook hands and settled their backs against the pristine wall of the church. “I don’t recognize your face.”

“I inherited a house out here when my mother’s parents kicked the bucket.”

“Ah, of course. Only unfortunate circumstances could bring a man to a place such as this.”

“I guess… I’m sort of relieved it’s over, to be frank, but there’s no use in getting into it with a stranger.”

“Come now, we’re not strangers if we know each other’s names. Merely acquaintances, of which you’ll make many here,” William then added under his breath, “often against your own will.”

“Still. That’s something for a shrink to hear, not some fine acquaintance in a sharp suit.”

William’s dark eyes glittered. “You’re a smart man to not give up more than what’s needed to get the point across.” He gestured toward the side door, “They’re vultures for rumours, the lot of them. Keep sensitive information close, and dark secrets even closer.”

He winked and Norman raised his eyebrows. “Well, you’ve certainly got me intrigued. I’ll keep that in mind. So, you seem well-off…?”

“I co-own a local entertainment business with my dear friend, Henry. Fredbear’s Family Diner. You should come by sometime, fun for all ages.”

“What kind of entertainment are we talking?”

“Food, games, music, and something special that only we’ve got. You’ll just have to see yourself. How about you, have you found work yet?”

Norman shook his head. “Ah, nah, living off the inheritance currently while I go through what’s been left in the house, but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking.”

William considered this, stroking his dark goatee. It seemed like they could always use an extra hand at Fredbear’s, but he’d have to dig deeper into Norman before any decision was to be made. Still, something about him had drawn him to him, so it certainly wouldn’t be a difficult task to get to know him.

“I’ve got a question for you,” Norman spoke. “You seem pretty comfortable in this town, but you sure aren’t from around here, either. What makes a man move from Europe to some podunk town in the west?”

William chuckled again. “What gave it away?” He then sighed. “My father got a business opportunity before I started secondary school, that’s middle and high school for you. I didn’t particularly enjoy moving to the states, but luckily meeting Henry made things a bit easier. Brilliant man, he’ll be delighted to meet you, I’m sure.”

Norman smiled, humming to himself. “Well, I’ve certainly enjoyed talking to you… assuming we’re in mutual agreement not to rat on each other about the cigarettes, right?”

This got a full laugh out of William. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, everyone does it, so how can it be a sin?”

Norman raised his cigarette in agreement. “Hear, hear!”

He checked his watch. “They’ll be going into the final prayer, soon, so I recommend we pick up the pace.”

Norman nodded and took a final drag of his cigarette before stubbing it on the bottom of his shoe. William flicked his ash into the grass and turned to re-enter the church, but Norman stopped him.

“Wait--” He drew a small vial of cologne from his pocket and sprayed some around the both of them. “To mask the smell.”

“Good thinking,” William sniffed lightly and his brows drew together. The smell wasn’t exactly the most masculine thing to brush by his olfactory senses, with notes of earthy tea and subtle florals. He didn’t dislike it, but it did create more “problems” than solutions.

“Do you not like it?” Norman asked as they lingered by the door. William faked a smile.

“No, no, it’s lovely,” he assured convincingly before tapping his watch.

“Yes, right,” he opened the door, “after you.”

William entered and quickly found his place beside his wife and children, all the while wondering if Margarete or anyone else would notice the smell, and just who exactly Norman was. He entered shortly after, resuming his place just as the pastor commanded everyone to rise from their seats and repeat the holy prayer to cap off the morning. While hands clasped and eyes closed, William’s gaze remained focused on the back of Norman’s head.

[the-trans-advice-blog]

Long Vent, apologies in advance (feel free to ignore this):

I'm a bit worried about whether I can transition (legally and medically) cause I live in south africa and I'm just scared the seemingly lack of formalized trans healthcare is gonna fuck stuff up for me, doesn't really help that I everyone I know and know of irl is cis, every single person besides me is cis. And my non-transphobic parents still don't believe that I'm not their little girl even after being out to them for about 2 years. And they're the most liberal family members i have, the rest are extremely conservative and transphobic. And I'm just fucking scared. For fucks sake I don't even have the guarantee of hearing or reading my name anywhere each day. Like atleast I've got a few friends who are extremely supportive of me (one of them continuesly telling me that she does not understand why anyone ever thinks I'm a girl cause I already pass as a cis guy lol) and it fucking sucks that my school is a conservative Christian school (not like america public schools can be religious here) where I was the second "girl" to have a short haircut in the entire school and it's a massive fucking school. Counting me atleast there's 4 people who have short "boy" hair and have to wear the girls' uniform. On that topic I fucking hate that I can't be out to teachers, the teachers regularly make horribly transohobic comments without being prompted to or even knowing about the one half-out trans kid (me). Like i hear shit like teachers saying they believe trans people are truly sick in the head and that they want kids to out their trans friends (luckily my friends are nice enough not to do that) and I hate the girl's uniform I gotta wear and I hate it all and I've still gotta deal with high school for 2 and ¾ years. And idk my mental health has been really bad lately and this all doesn't help, and i love being trans, I just want to atleast be tolerated for it amd have a bit more stable future planned in terms of transition. And I want my parents to fucking be able to help with that, they're wonderful parents otherwise sonjwnush I could just rely on them a little for some of this shit.

idk I'm just scared and tired and dysphoric and I feel very very alone

(On another note, I appreciate your blog a lot, you're cool)

I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. Obviously there’s nothing I can say to make it magically better but I hope you do know there’s a huge community out there who’s happy to support you in whatever ways we can. I’m not sure how safe online spaces are for you if your family is conservative but you’ll always have a safe space here to talk about whatever you need to. I hope one day you can get out if you want to, or that something’s changes in the area you’re in. High school is the worst, especially being trans, but I know that you can get through it! I’m really happy you have some supportive friends, and if I were you I’d maybe try to make some online ones if you haven’t already just because it seems like the people around you won’t be very safe.

I wish you luck on your journey and I really hope things get better for you.

[daggerhobbit]

story time/vent

these experiences are all my own

tw: I talk about some of my religious trauma here, nothing crazy, but, yeah.

So, I was raised in an extremely Christian household. I was also very sheltered as a kid, meaning I didn’t really know much about anything my parents don’t agree with. I was never really allowed on the internet, and I was oblivious to many things. I didn’t even know what LGBTQ meant until I started middle school. Since I was going from a very small elementary school to a large public middle school, my eyes were opened to a lot of stuff my parents had tried to hide from me. During middle school, one of my best friends came out as gay. Because I didn’t know much about this, I looked it up. I spent a lot of time doing this. Anyways, growing up, my family always went to church, and they still do. Around the time I started learning about various LGBTQ+ identities, I realized that the pastors at the church my family attends are homophobic. They said that everyone is equal in gods eyes, but preached that homosexuality is a sin. At that time, I was seriously questioning my sexuality and gender, and because of the church, I thought I was going to hell because of it. This caused me a lot of self-hate and severely impacted my mental health. However, because of some good people in my life and several youtubers, I now realize that this isn’t true. Even so, because of my own religious experiences, I’ve realized that I’m not Christian. My parents are Christian, so Christianity was the only thing I knew for my entire life, and it’s been really hard for me, leaving my parents religion and what I’ve grown up with. Since I’m still a minor, this has only made it harder. However, having supportive friends and other people around me has really helped, and through social media, I’ve found others who’ve had similar experiences as me, and I’ve realized that i am not alone.

To anyone else out there, if you have been through similar stuff, remember that you are not alone. If you want to share your own experiences or have questions or just want to talk or ask for advice, feel free to send me an ask or a message, and I’ll do my best.

Anyways, if you’re still reading this incredibly long post, I hope you have a great day! Don’t forget to take care of yourself, and… yeah.

(uuugh why am i so bad at endings)

[reyluvs222cry]

Burning Desire Chapter Two

Pairing: Eddie Munson x !Succubus female reader

Warnings: swearing, smut, oral m! receiving, sex, implied religious trauma, religion (Christianity).

This chapter is when the reader meets everyone at the arcade. 

“I don’t know robin I just don’t have a good feeling about being here I feel like I’ll mess things up.” “Mess what up?” Robin says, looking at me with a confused expression. “I don’t know, it's just kind of weird getting invited to a group hangout with all your friends who have known each other for years when they don’t even know me.” “Y/n I think you’re completely overreacting, they will like you don't worry. And besides it's not like you’re going into this not knowing anyone, you already know Steve and Eddie.” Robin reassures me. “Yeah I guess you’re right. Are you ready to go inside?”. “Yeah, let's go.” Robin says to me. “ Hey guys. This is my friend I was telling you about.” Robin says introducing me to everyone. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” “Dude you were right she is ho- '' Dustin says to Steve before Steve quickly gets him to stop talking by smacking his shoulder. “ I have no idea what he's talking about.” Steve laughs nervously. “ Firstly ow and secondly I’m Dustin. And that's Max and Lucas. Everyone else should be here soon.” Dustin says introducing himself to me. “Hey y/n.”  “Oh hi Eddie.” I say, happy to see him. “How are you liking Hawkins?” Eddie asks me. “It's nice, it seems like everyone here is pretty close.” “ This place is a shithole in all honesty, it took me a long time to find nice people.” Eddie says sitting down so we can talk more. That day, me and Eddie talked the rest of the time we were at the arcade. I was so invested in our conversations that I didn’t even notice it was almost 11 pm. After that everyone went home for the night.

*Eddies point of view*

(This is a dream sequence btw.)

“Eddie, do you want me to touch you?” “Please. I need you so badly, doll.”

Y/n started teasing her tongue on the tip of my cock while pumping the rest in her hand and I nearly started cumming at the sight in front of me. “Do you want more?” She says still pumping my cock in her hand. “Yes, please.” Before I know it, she takes my whole length in her mouth and I can’t help but cum instantly. Then I woke up. “Jesus fuck.” I say looking down at my now cum stained underwear. I started walking to the bathroom to clean myself off and I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look almost sleep deprived in a way? Like all the life in my face was taken from me. I shake it off and decide that I probably need more sleep considering now I feel as if I have no energy.

*End of Eddies point of view*

I wake up from Eddie's dream and I feel kind of bad, I mean he will be fine, but still I can’t keep living like this and feeding off people. How I got to where I am now, is when I was 15 I became a succubus. My father was a pastor and I had a made a promise to the church that if I had premarital sex, I would have to pay the price for it. I didn’t know that the price would be this or I would have never done it at all. It was November 1st 1982 when me and my boyfriend Daniel, had decided that we would finally take our relationship to the next step and have sex. Everything was romantic and intimate. Classical music on the vinyl playing, candles and him. When he went inside me, we both noticed something was off, he started getting a nosebleed but he just wiped it off and we continued until this time when he started bleeding it was from his mouth and he started coughing up blood and having a seizure. While I looked at him, he looked as if he was already decaying until he eventually turned into dust. I had to tell my family that he ran away after we had a fight, I couldn’t let them know that I had broken the thing I promised not to do. Until eventually I told them I wanted to see what Hawkins would be like living with my grandparents. They eventually agreed to let me live with my grandma and grandpa for a year just so I could “bond with them more” considering they couldn't visit much because they lived far away from us. So now, I can finally have more freedom and hopefully not live with much guilt now that my parents are away from me. 

Okay y’all this is chapter two! Chapter three will be the first day at Hawkins High! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Feedback is wanted! Feel free to comment/ ask questions about the story.