#I like to think hes still crazy but rather than being a direct effect of the crown its from the immortality and power of being basically god

[bunnieswithknives]

Doodles I did at school because I'm obsessed

[rangersveppir]

A history of Ranger Capture Stylers (from the view of the various models)

Howdy! This is a post I have been meaning to make for a while, this is essentially a list of every (publicly known) Capture Styler, not all of these will have photos but I have done by best none the less. Now first as many people know Hastings was originally going to call the device we know as a Styler "The Capture Loopy-Looper" and this is where some weird naming nonsense comes into play. So the first ever "Styler" was the Proto-Styler.

Proto-Styler.

Or as it is labeled the S.T.Y.L.E.R. (Spin-Tuned Yoked Link for Emotional Regulation), this was the first ever styler, its a bulky machine about the old style Poke-Center healers they used in Kalos, or for a less specific example about the size of two Metagross staked ontop one another. This big ol' boy had a small screen and a keyboard used to direct the Capture Disc. The capture disk for this original was about a foot across and weighed about 10 lbs. The machine itself required a constant power supply to run and was basically stationary so it wasn't very useful. Not to mention you had to do the calculations for how far the disc had to move yourself before typing in those numbers in on the keypad. It gets its mention here for being the first device to do basically what the modern Styler does today. Now onto the weird naming, so the Ranger Union and Hastings himself refer to this device as either a "Proto-styler" "The Prototype Styler" or "The Looper" however Hastings' documentation and patents call it the acronym I listed at the start of this section. From what I was able to find by looking through old interviews with Hastings it looks like the "The Capture Loopy-Looper" name was played around with because he feared the S.T.Y.L.E.R. acronym would be too weird for most people to understand and it wasn't until he noticed that his assistants were calling the new portable model they were working on a "Styler" to avoid saying the long official name did he decide to change it to the "Capture Styler" we know today.

Styler MK. 1

This is the first version of the Capture Styler and the first one I ever used, when I joined the rangers these guys were in their prime so its what I am most comfortable with even if that is kind of crazy. So the MK. 1 has a hand held section that's similar in design to the the fine styler but has an antenna like the MK 2 with the MK 1's antenna being about as long as the device itself. You hold it like you would hold a TV remote and make gestures to guide the Capture disk, the disk itself is released from a launcher on the bottom end of the handheld. The handheld is connected by a wire to a large battery pack. The larger ones could be worn as backpacks with the smaller ones hanging from your hip. These bad boys had enough power to keep the Styler charged for a whole three capture (six with the backpack sized pack). And if the disk was hit by a pokemon that would essentially knock you down a capture. It was not the best but it did its job, though I will never be as fit as I was back then lugging a 40 lbs. Battery pack to base so I could swap it out with a fresh one and continue work after capturing a beedrill. The one upside of the MK. 1 is the capture effect tended to be much stronger than with the modern stylers, as such if a capture with a MK. 1 would take 3 loops it might take a modern Styler 7 or 8 loops. But for most people that doesn't make up for the downsides, it cant use Pokemon Assist, it cannot be charged using pokemon and power cable on the handheld is damaged or severed its down for the count. The disks themselves were rather large not as big as those for "The Looper" but they still weighed a whole 3 lbs. and really hurt if you didn't seat them properly into the launcher, I am getting phantom toe pain just thinking about it.

Styler MK. 2 The second version of the Styler was a massive upgrade, it first introduced an internal battery, the disk was more durable so instead of losing a third of your charge from any contact the disk itself loses charge, pokemon can now recharge the styler.

The MK. 2 is one of those stylers most people think of when the imagine a pokemon ranger the hand-held device with the top and the pointing. It is the first Styler to be able to use Pokemon Assists. Styler MK. 3

Now we get to the not-so-fun part of this history, now if you look at the MK. 2 you will notice they were manufactured by "Mill Bros. Electronics" who used to be a large electronics manufacturing company in the Fiore region, though they had factories in many places. For the MK. 2 they had been hired to mass produce the stylers, and they were also tasked with the same for the MK. 3 however by this time Mill bros. was doing pretty poorly, they had just lost their factory in Fall City, which was one of their largest and had also lost contracts with a few other companies they had been producing products for, so with money tight they decided to cut some corners, specifically with the battery, the batteries planned for the MK 3 were heavy duty numbers designed to take a beating and handle electric type attacks like a champ, instead Mill Bros. used a weaker and cheaper battery and hoped no-one would notice, and probably they would have gotten away with it, except these batteries had a tendency to explode rather violently often injuring the rangers using them with nearly 300 injuries related to it in the first year (most were minor, just mild burns, others not so much) needless to say Mill Bros. does not exist anymore and the ranger union has their own manufacturing company now. As for the MK. 3 Itself it looks like a MK. 4 (what most people associate with a student styler) just slightly larger, with a longer handle, the handle was deigned to stick out of the hip-holster designed for it, so it could be pulled out at a moment's notice. You can tell a MK. 3 from a MK. 3.5 or 4 by looking for the Mill Bros. logo on the bottom of the device near the charging port (there will also be the model number MB30141). If you find you have been issued a MK. 3 or fine one in like a drawer or something you can turn it in to the ranger union for ₽2500, or 1 years worth of credit at the Ranger Union HQ cafeteria. Styler MK. 3.5 A rapid follow up to disaster of the MK 3. was the 3. 5 they look almost identical to the MK 3 but use a smaller more stable batter and tend to be slighter smaller over all. Not much to say it is just the MK 3 but does not explode.

Styler MK. 4

This is the styler most rangers reading this have use or have used, if you have been to any ranger academy you have used a modified MK. 4

Small compact with the disc being released from the yellow launcher seen on the head of the device. These guys are still in wide use today and are designed to be semi-disposable, if it is damaged just turn it back in for repair or replacement.

Fine Styler (MK. 5)

The Fine Styler aka the MK. 5 is a more powerful version of the MK. 4. It is strapped to the wrist instead of held in the hand and require a lot more training to use.

Super Styler (MK. 5.?)

Not much is known about this one so I wont be covering it, but I know if I did not list it I would have to deal with the tsunami of people saying I forgot it.

Styler MK. 7

The most recently released styler, its designed to be worn on the wrist similar to a watch and is similar in power and features to the Fine Styler in a much smaller package. It also has a built in AI that can help keep the ranger informed. These came out last year and I have yet to see one in person so I can say too much on how effective they are but the Union seems proud of them.

So yeah, thats all the publicly available styler models, for those interested I use a modified MK 1. (the union let me keep it after I retired, an antique for an antique I guess haha) I modified it to use a MK 2. Capture Disk so its a lot more useful. It's not winning any awards for looks though.

Anyway hope I was able to teach you something, stay safe out there.

[youllneverfindmona]

“Strictly Business” - Hawks

{Hawks x Fem Reader}

In which, you’re the new hire at his agency!

When you first joined Hawk’s agency you didn’t know what to expect. You truly didn’t even think it was a good idea because— well, you’re a fan of Hawks, as a hero of course not one of them crazy fan girls you just really admired his hero work, but with an opportunity like this, you were set on keeping things strictly business. Being able to see things happen up close and being able to participate in constructing and evaluating missions almost felt like a dream. You were set on being the best that you could be.

There was no dress code, surprisingly, but you decided you couldn’t go wrong with all black. Black fitted jeans, black fitted shirt, and chunky black heels. Your hair is a straight side part with the longer side tucked behind your ear to create a swoop effect. You didn’t want to overdress, but also didn’t want to appear unsuited. You approached the front desk with your folder in hand ready to greet the receptionist. She glanced up before welcoming you with a big smile.

“You must be y/n? Hawks has been expecting youu” She said in an evidently excited tone singing out the last bit of her words as she turned over to press a button.

“Hawks.” He spoke on the other line.

“y/n is here to see youu.” She said still in a bubbly manner.

“That’s great! Send her up!” He said seeming excited on the other line.

“14th floor, 3rd room to the left. Welcome in!” She told you buzzing you in. As you strolled down the hallway of the 14th floor your heart began to race as you approached the third room to the right. You take a moment and place your hand on your chest to try and catch your breath and calm down.

“Uhh you know I can see you right.” You heard Hawks say making you gasp and turn your head in his direction. You laugh nervously as you realize you were so enmeshed in your own head you forgot his room was on the LEFT not the right. He inclines back in his chair laughing as your face turns red from embarrassment but you stroll into his office trying to keep your composure.

“Are we nervous?” He said giving you a witty smile while turning his head to the side.

“I mean yeah it’s just— I never had an opportunity like this and I just want to be—” You ramble but Hawks raises his hand signaling to you that you didn’t need to keep talking.

“You don’t have any reason to be nervous. You’re talented. Seeing your reports from the previous agencies you worked at your work instantly stood out to me. You’re very detail oriented and you pay attention to things most people don’t think matter but it does in fact make a huge difference and that’s exactly why I chose you.” He reassured you.

“I should be nervous.” He says as you catch him studying you but don’t think much of it.

“Now. There’s a few things we need to run down on, I’ll give you a tour of the agency, and show you where your office will be.” He said pushing his fingertips against each other.

As weeks passed at the agency, you quickly learned that Hawks was very strict and critical about the work that was done around there. Yeah, he was goofy from time to time, but you saw a lot more of his strict and serious side rather than the charming side the media mostly gets to see. After all, this all goes into saving lives at the end of the day. You put your all into everything you did often coming in extra and staying later. You didn’t mind it. You didn’t see Hawks often but when you did he’d always praise you for your work which kept you motivated.

You didn’t realize it, but your name was catching buzz around the office. Partially because some of the guys there thought you were hot. Allegedly, Hawks had a talk with them and told them they weren’t allowed to discuss those kinds of things here and that if they were caught trying to approach you with the intent to pursue you there would be negative feedback involved because relationships are strictly prohibited due to the potential they have to interfere with work. You weren’t interested in relationships anyway. You kept your focus on your work and your work only.

But you couldn’t tell because that didn’t stop your male coworkers from approaching. Usually they’d try to make small talk and ease their way into flirting which never worked because quite frankly you just wanted to be left alone to work. You tried to be nice, but it was pestering to deal with. That was until one day Hawks happened to walk near your desk when he caught on to what was going on. He simply walked towards your desk and tapped him on the shoulder while pointing back to his office.

“My office. Now.” He said calmly but also very stern.

“You’re doing great. Keep up the good work.” He says as he taps your desk as he begins to walk away. He actually ended up having to do it two more times. You felt like a burden being such a distraction. You assumed maybe it was because of your clothes so you tried to wear more loose fitted clothing and kinda dimmed your appearance down to see if it would help. Hawks immediately noticed this, but kept it to himself for a few weeks. That was until you received an email telling you to meet him in his office. You were for sure it was about those guys approaching you and whether or not you were entertaining them. You walk up to his office nervously as he’s fixated on his computer for a moment before he looks up to acknowledge you.

“Hello Mr.Takami!” You greet him.

“Hey y/n how you feeling?.” He says returning a smile.

“Great! How about you?” You ask him

“I’m good. I just want to talk to you about a few things you can take a seat.” He says in a very calm tone. As you sit down he uses one of his feathers to close the door. You jump confused.

“Yes?” You say inna shaky voice confused.

“I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just that this conversation is 100% confidential. You’re not in trouble don’t worry I just want you to feel comfortable.” He says smiling hoping to calm your nerves a bit.

“Okay” You say nodding trying to relax.

“Soooo— how do I word this— I don’t want to make this weird” he says looking down thinking to himself.

“I’ve noticedd— a change in your appearance per se. Now granted, there’s no dress code you’re allowed to wear what you want. I was just trying to make sure that change in appearance wasn’t due to you feeling pressured, mental health issues, or even feeling uncomfortable in any way.” He explained. You were silent for a second before touching your left arm with your right hand while looking down.

“I just thought it would be better y’know.” You say nervous.

“Better how?” He asked tilting his head.

“Just less distracting for some of my coworkers…” You say realizing how dumb that sounds out loud.

“Y/n” He says very sternly making you look up at him.

“If there are any changes that need to be made to better the work environment. I will make those changes. You don’t have to change anything about yourself. If someone can’t control themselves they can go. Seriously.” He says looking you dead in the eyes reassuring you.

“Yes Mr.Takami” You tell him beginning to look back down.

“You can call me Keigo it’s okay” He said chuckling.

“Now that that’s out the way, let’s get into the main thing I wanted you to come here for today.” He said making you more nervous before pausing before a few seconds and flashing a smile.

“Would you like to be my assistant?” He says smiling making your eyes widen.

“You’re kidding?” You say smiling.

“I’m as serious as can be” He says.

“Ofc!” You say excitedly as he reaches up to high-five you.

From that point on, you’d spend way more time with Keigo. It was almost overwhelming at first. If you thought you worked a lot at first, you were sadly mistaken. Sometimes you’d be working alongside him from the beginning of the day until the very end. A few days you rarely seen him. During this time you’d often learn even the most minuscule details about him. You know his exact coffee order down to a T. How he likes flying the most during sunrise and sunset. The two of you even had a couple of inside jokes. You’re unsure when it happened, but you did develop a slight crush on him. You thought it was nothing really and that it just came about due to proximity and would run its course. At least that’s what you told yourself but as time passed you found yourself more obsessed with him than his own fans. Besides, you knew your chances with him were nonexistent. His schedule was jam-packed and he didn’t have time for a relationship. You also noticed he probably hooks up with a couple of women here and there, but you turn a blind eye. At times you think you’re going crazy. Hawks is naturally kind of a flirt, but sometimes the jokes would feel as if they were intentional— y’know. You hated having to keep everything professional honestly, but didn’t want to risk anything.

One day you guys had already completed what you needed to for the day and had some time left over. He asked if you wanted to go for drinks and you figured why not since you both were off tomorrow.

The two of you had clicked the whole night. Learning even more about each other. One drink turned to two, two to three, and suddenly you were so caught up in the conversation you started to lose count. The two of you got very drunk and he decided to call a limo to take you guys home. It had a privacy divider that kept out most sound so you didn’t really worry about trying to tone it down with your convo.

Once the two of you got in, Keigo sat directly next to you as your talks continued. You began to notice him staring at you a lot more when you were talking, often scanning your body, closing any distance between the two of you that he could, and even being more overtly flirty. Calling you baby bird, making smooth comments on how good you looked, brushing his hand on your thigh.

You soon started to match him. Letting yourself stare at him more than you’d allow yourself any other time and ensure the two of you were as close as possible. At this point there was undeniable chemistry. He said something to make the two of you laugh and you put your hand on his chest before you notice his heart is pounding making you sit up and look at him.

“Are we nervous?” You say smiling at him hoping he’d recall where your comment came from. He froze for a moment. His wings fluttered and his face was turning red.

“It’s just—” you cut him off as his face turned even more red.

“I should be nervous.” You whisper leaning into him getting close to his lips. He quickly closes the gap between the two of you by pressing his lips against yours before letting out a deep exhale as the two of you began to make out. He placed one hand on your waist while sliding the other one up your thigh and grabbing your ass as you reached up to grab his hair. After a few seconds you pull away looking him dead in the eyes and seeing nothing put pure desperation as he tried to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry did I— Did you— want?” He says quickly getting anxious at the fact that he didn’t consider whether or not he had just violated you as you looked up at him with pure shock.

“I want more.” You say leaning back into him as the two of you began to make out again.

“I tried so hard to contain myself because you were such a good worker.” He says pulling apart and cupping your face as you began to lean back on the seats so that he would be on top of you.

“But fuck you’re so hot” He says hovering over your body as the two of you feel the limo stop. He quickly peeked outside to see y’all were at his house.

“Come in my place” He says as the both of you began to lift up and exit the limo. Once you got in Keigo couldn’t even finish locking the door before you were all over him again, but by then the liquor had set in a bit and he started to realize his actions so far would have consequences.

You tried to kiss him but noticed him very still as he sat there at looked you in the eyes leaning upon the door looking at you with puppy eyes.

“Did I do something wrong—” You ask softening your voice. He exhales deeply before covering his face with his hand.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay—” He says grabbing your hand and guiding you to his bedroom. He kept you in front of him. Due to the fact that you both were still drunk you and him were stumbling upstairs but he was still able to make sure you made it up there.

“Huh?— well are we gon—” You say before he quickly interrupted you making you silent.

“No” He says sternly. Your heart drops before suddenly whining like a brat.

“Why nott” You whine.

“You’re drunk” He says.

“And so are you! What was that whole thing we just did about then?” You say louder than you anticipated making him stop right at his room door and turn around to look at you.

“I messed up okay. Your judgement is clouded right now and I feel like I took advantage of you.” He says lowly looking at you sadly.

“But— I want it. I always did. I want you Keigo.” You said lowly in a bratty tone making his eyes widen as he let out the faintest gasp waking up to you and hovering over you.

“I want you too y/n. If that’s really how you feel we can wait. I don’t want to hurt you.” He told you before kissing you on your forehead as he cupped your face. Truth is, he felt no better than the guys he tried prying off you at work. Especially because the main reason he was so strict was also because it made him extremely jealous to see any other man perusing you knowing he couldn’t no matter how bad he wanted to. You exhaled deeply as he guided you to the room, and gave you one of his shirts to change into once he left.

“You need anything else?” He asks as he headed towards the door.

“Lay with me” You say pouting sitting on the edge of the bed with his shirt in your hands. He agreed, but only if you two slept on opposite sides and with different blankets because he didn’t want you to wake up and regret anything. You were sure you wouldn’t though. Keigo had a hard time falling asleep because he was unsure of how tomorrow would go. He knew he couldn’t mix relationships with business, and was unsure if whether or it would be a distraction to the both of y’alls work. He didn’t even know if you’d remember anything when you woke up. If you’d regret everything, not even want a relationship or what. He began to regret everything himself. He could’ve took things slower at least.

Suddenly he felt you grab his ankle while you were asleep. He sat up and was able to get the slightest glimpse of you from the moonlight through the window. He could see you smiling which kinda made him smile a bit before heading to bed.

Keigo was waken up by a weight on his lower stomach making him jump out of his sleep only to be met with you sitting on top of him.

“Hi” You say in an excited tone getting closer to him. He sat there in awe before realizing you had minty breath.

“How did you brush your teeth?” He asked confused.

“I keep disposables in my purse. Not ideal but it’ll do til I get home” You say as you begin to ramble on about other things but Keigo had tuned you out for a second mostly because he wasn’t used to you really being like this and two because he had to make sure things were straight from last night. He took your comfort as yes although it was alarming how fast it happened, but had to really make sure you were okay.

“Y/n” he asks confused snapping you out of your ramble and you turn your head towards him and put your hand on his chest making his breathing heavy.

“Last night.” He says nervously as you begin to laugh.

“Last night was something” You said nodding your head making him sit up on his elbows.

“Are you okay? Like you don’t feel like I did anything wrong” He asks confused.

“Nope— we can make today even better” You say tracing the design on his compression shirt as he began to smirk as he’s never seen this side of you.

“You’re insane” He says chuckling.

NSFW P.2 coming soon, not proofread.

[sleepyrocket]

Thoughts on season 2 rocket?

my thoughts: he’s fine, way stronger than before due to his ult which gives an additional 25% damage boost (which is lower than the last season), but gives a bonus health boost which is very useful for squishes + very useful against defensive ults like bucky’s, punisher, etc. Team-up has bucky removed and kept frank (aka, the punisher). Damage with his primary is still the same, however with the jetpack nerf it’s kinda risky being a aggressive DPS rocket (definitely not impossible, but you have to use your dashes when necessary, like running away from spideys and panthers)

Jetpack decreased to 8 meters instead of the usual 10, which i find bullshit because his dashes are his most important thing in his kit, thus making him a huge target with divers when both of them are used -> especially with the increased cooldown (5 to 10 seconds), i recommend keeping one to escape, but also recommend using wall climbing as an advantage. Healing is less than this season with 55 instead of 70, but definitely faster due to his burst-healing (which needs a direct hit to your ally to take effect, his AOE (Area of Effect) is slightly weaker: without hitting the ally directly it heals rather slow compared to the direct hit).

Rocket is definitely going to be valuable in high elos, but also be more valuable if his mobility was left alone, don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. the only thing people wanted for rocket is a ULT rework (even if the damage boost is completely lowered down, but it heals passively when your ally takes damage). I’m still getting used to his jetpack and currently finding a playstyle that works well with his current mobility, no, i’m not going to be a healbotter like NoDmgRocket -> still despise him and people that play rocket that just sit there and heal, do damage and finish tanks…

Although his ult was technically meant to be offense and not defense, i think the bonus health will somewhat lower the hate (not get rid of the hate)

i know no one cares, but I am not boosted, i do well without a punisher + i mainly solo que

edit: heabotting is technically not a bad thing, it’s good in some situations before actually using your primary, rocket’s value comes from a hybird between DPS & Healing, like jeff in a sense. The only way to get good at rocket is having good positioning & staying alive, mastering his movement, too. although there’s some rocket’s out there that don’t do crazy movments -> it’s better to do that if the other team doesn’t have divers.

[oneatlatime]

Season 1 Zuko & Iroh Thoughts

Zuko

zuko is a villain when he's trying, an asshole when he's not. He's not even very effective! He's bad at being a bad guy, and when he isn't actively being a bad guy, he's just an unpleasant person. -Do I have enormous sympathy for him? Yes, especially after The Storm's backstory revelation. -Is he in an enormously awful situation? Yes, although he's not the only character in an enormously awful situation, and others in situations as bad are doing far better. -Do I like who he is as a person? Nope. Not at all. He's an unpleasant scoundrel. He's an ass. He does have some useful and arguably good qualities - he's driven, has (some) planning ability, is bonkers at swords, and occasionally remembers not to be a dick to his uncle or his crew.

I don't deny that a lot of what I dislike about him is caused by the difficult extenuating circumstances that apply to him. But, even if all those difficulties disappeared, I feel like I wouldn't find his base personality appealing either. That being said, I don't know if I've glimpsed the "real" Zuko yet. I don't think there has been an episode yet where he doesn't have a reason to be on high alert. But in episodes when he's not actively pursuing the Gaang, he's yelling at his crew or his uncle.

He does seem to have a (deeply buried) inner core of decency and lines he won't cross, unlike Zhao. After Sokka and Katara helped Aang escape Zuko's ship back in episode 2, he didn't go back and destroy the southern water tribe. Zhao would have. Zhao never would have accepted Aang's deal to protect the tribe in the first place. But rather than making Zuko an appealing character, this inner core of decency just makes him a less effective villain. It's too small to make him someone to root for; it's just big enough to have enough of a restraining effect on his villainy to make him seem pathetic compared to other Fire Nation villains.

At the end of season 1, my question regarding Zuko is this: why does any fan like him? You can't root for him as a villain, because he's not callous or suave enough to be a badass, crazy enough to be entertaining, or competent enough to be a threat. You can't admire him when he's not actively in villain mode, because he's a disrespectful shouty little butt. My very limited knowledge of this show before I watched it did include the tidbit that Zuko had a big fanbase. Why tho?

Iroh

Iroh obviously has something deeper going on. Which I find confusing. He obviously doesn't have the same 'burn the world' zeal as Zhao, and in fact is more interested in defending the world as a whole than advancing Fire Nation interests when the chips are down (see him defending the moon fish). I think he still supports the Fire Nation cause; I think he would be more actively discouraging Zuko's Avatar hunting if he didn't still support/believe it.

It was Zuko's ship they were on, so Iroh doesn't have command over or responsibility for Zuko, which means that he can't just tell Zuko what to do. But he's shown himself to be someone capable of subtlety (at least the amount of subtlety required to get something past Zuko). And he's shown himself to be capable of teenager wrangling. So I'm forced to conclude that the 'something deeper' that is going on with Iroh is the fact that he is either currently on the fence about, or slowly drifting away from, Fire Nation ideals. He can't actually disapprove of what the Fire Nation is doing, otherwise he would have taken advantage of the last three years of totally uninterrupted contact with his nephew to start steering him in an anti-war direction.

So either Iroh has only the slightest anti-war leanings at the moment, or it took literally every second of Zuko's last three years at sea to recover from getting half his face blown off. While I can believe that the injury was slow to heal (especially the psychological side), one of the first lines that Iroh says in episode one is cautioning Zuko against getting his hopes up about having found the Avatar because there had been countless red herrings previously. Which implies that they've been actively Avatar hunting for a while.

So my question is this: if, as I am being led to believe, Iroh does not fully support the Fire Nation war, why has he not, at any point over the last three years at sea, attempted to sway Zuko into thinking the same? I could understand not wanting to rip the rug out from under Zuko if they were a few months into their banishment, but after three whole years, is it not borderline irresponsible of a guardian-ish figure to allow their charge to keep believing in something they suspect may be untrue? Surely in the three years since banishment, Zuko has seen enough destruction caused by the Fire Nation for him to start putting the pieces together himself?

That being said...

I'm meh on Iroh; I actively dislike Zuko. But Zuko + Iroh? That's good stuff. Their dynamic is exponentially more than the sum of its parts. Their interactions are believable and entertaining. Of the first ten episodes, my favourite is The Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World, in part because of their odd couple dynamic. Zuko is only tolerable when he's bouncing off Iroh. Iroh is at his best when he's in Zuko wrangling mode. I forget that I dislike Zuko when he's having a non-shouty interaction with Iroh. And then he goes and talks to shouts at someone else and I remember why I dislike him.

I do think Zuko is an ass on a very fundamental level, but I also wonder if he plays that up when he's around people he's not comfortable with. Take Zuko and Iroh's interactions when Zuko is stowing away on Zhao's ship to the North Pole. Quiet, controlled, genuine, almost as much left unsaid as is spoken aloud. They obviously have a deep understanding of each other. And they have mutual respect, although Zuko would never admit it. Now compare that to Zuko and Katara interacting in the Spirit Oasis when Zuko is trying to kidnap Aang. The jerk tendencies are turned up to 11. Which wasn't actually necessary, and probably detrimental since Zuko's one liner announced his presence and took away the element of surprise.

So maybe Zuko isn't that much of a jerk deep down. But since Zuko is not the main character of this show, we're pretty much guaranteed to only see Zuko in the context of interacting with others in the cast, where he will be a jerk. So whether or not he is as much of a jerk as he appears will be irrelevant, because we'll only see him in contexts where he is at maximum jerkiness, if that makes sense?

Honestly I don't even know if Zuko and Iroh will be in season 2. Zuko is on the box art for my season 3 DVD, so I guess he comes back at some point, but by the end of season 1 he and Iroh are no one and have nothing. The days of them being a threat, even a nuisance, to the Gaang are over. What can the writers even do with these characters now? Where can they possibly go?

[pitter-patter-pottah]

HL headcanons! (Posted this to Fandom as well, I'm just copying and pasting the whole thing from there!)

Remember when I said this (in a previous fandom headcanon post)?

"my claw girl zhi (she is also crazy lol) would live in rookwood castle after graduating hogwarts! and she'd def have a dragon skeleton there, and she'd take ranrok's armor after burning his body and use engorgio on the armor so she could wear it sometmes (when she's not wearing it, she puts it on mannequin)"

Well, now I think it would be best for my Ravenclaw Zhi to live in The Old Fool (she's very... unusual, and rather proud of it) and my Slytherin Yu could live here as well as rookwood castle and the ruins (which she would glamourously restor) of sidora morganarch's house a bit (being a direct descendant of isidora morganarch and a lover of castles)! yeah, she'd live in all three at the same time but mostly live in the first two, also i think she instead of zhi should do the things above with the dragon skeleton and ranrok's head and armor, cus she's even MORE evil than zhi, and that's saying quite a bit!

And remember this, from a long-ago HL headcanon post (on fandom)

"If she lived during hp's era, she'd be frens w/ ginny, hermione, luna, fred and george, and ron and harry (not as much with ron and harry tho), and her fave professors would be flitwick and slughorn Speaking of slughorn, zhihui would be a part of the slug club if she lived during hp's era and she'd enjoy the parties"

Well, the same would go for all of my HL characters! But I think it would apply to Yu the most. In fact, perhaps she could time-travel to that era, and remember what she did a bit, but not much (her memories being blurry w ould be a side effect of time-travelling a literal century into the future), and she'd slowly figure out who she is and eventually figure out how to return to her time period in the HL era, but on her first day at Hogwarts in HP's era, she'd get invited to the Slug Club for her excellent duelling and flying skills! And Slughorn would tell her that he, like her, was a Slytherin when he was a Hogwarts student, and they'd form a supercute bond. <3 She'd also enjoy hanging out with Flitwick and Dumbledor for sure, though! Perhaps Snape as well, to some extent. But she'd eventually return to her own time in the HL era, but everyone from hp's era would forever remember and love her, and she would forever remember and love them too <3

And remember when i said this?

"Also, she'd be Ominis's cousin or something, she'd be a parcelmouth but not know that either (until sometime after the crucio quest with seb)"

Well, now im thinking perhaps my slytherin girl mc could find out she's his cousin after she does to hogsmeade w/ seb (this is why she's not gonna lie to omi about the undercroft once i get to that part in hl's story), perhaps in her lore omi wont go on the crucio quest with seb and my slyth mc cus she knows a parceltongue

But this (from a previous headcanon post on fandom) will still happen, of course...

"Meanwhile, my Slytherin girl Yu would definitely use this spell on this dragon skeleton to fight Ranrok, and perhaps open the Chamber of Secrets with her Parceltongue abilities (for context: see a part of one of previous HL HC posts below) to get the basilisk out and have that and the dragon skeleton assist her with taking Ranrok down, in the Battle of The Final Repository!"

[fagenthusiast]

Romulus: Minute by Minute

Today I watched Aliens: Romulus, and recorded what I thought about the film when I felt something cool happened. I arrived at the theatre at 8:00PM, all of these notes are unedited and were recorded as the film happened

Start: 8:00 PM Oh nice! Neurodivergency rep! So far the sound effects are the high point for me.

8:02 Oh.

8:04 Tyler? They named this bitCh Tyler? Good to know the upper middle class survived to the future Not a big fan of drawing a comparison between autistic ppl and synths. Like, just make him a guy, and someone else the robot. Or, better yet, don’t insert harmful metaphors into your work.

8:11 I hate Tyler and his bitch brother. They’re the sort of people who are „progressive „ but just don’t want ppl to know what they are. This fucking guy Is talking death threats to the synth, and the other is baby talking him. And then they said the synth doesn’t actually feel anything, and the girl is portrayed as wrong and guilty for taking care of him.

8:21: bitch

8:39: If there’s anything I can compliment this film on, it’s lighting. The sickening yellows and clinical whites add a lot of character to each scene. Also, the lcd panels are hidden really poorly as crts, just some glass and an overlay. They aren’t even 4:3!

8:43: The use of practical effects where CGI would be more convenient warms my heart. It’s done so well too! That just makes me wonder about this abomination:

Just make his face really burned or something, plus, why is he on the Romulus? Callback points?

8:46 Some of this mild horror during scenes where the characters need to be quiet is stellar. This movie handles it’s jumpscares fantastically. Still don’t like that that guy is alive. (The British man)

8:49 I’m glad they didn’t keep the autism thing, this new use of Andy as a direct arm of corporate shittery is much more effective. He legit doesn’t care. I don’t like that British guy lived and the pilot didn’t. I hate British guy.

8:54 Callback!!! Why does Brit have to teach her tho? I get that it’s for the sake of callback, but it would be both more creepy and cooler if Andy said all of that instead, having a machine explain to you how something it’s never seen in fine detail!

8:57 Again, why must he be gun man? Is it to give his character an excuse to exist? I’m neutral about the gun redesign

8:59 I love Andy’s permanent slight concern face, even in death he keeps it up. Must’ve been hard for the actor, I cramp after minutes of that face

9:00 Yes!! The Brit died! Huzzah! Huzzah!

9:05 I think in a way, they handled Andy’s death well. She removes the chip because the OG Andy is the real one. He’s not defective, he’s just Andy.

9:07 By god. That pulse rifle sound fx is holy. I would pray to it. Maybe it’s the theatre speakers but Jesus Christ.

9:08: I think somewhere along the line Ridley realized how shit the og depictipn of Andy was, and this is an apology.

9:10 You just KNOW this pulse rifle sound is gonna be used in one of Those arcade on rails shootemups with the crazy recoil

9:11: boy howdy do these guys not know what a planets rings look like

9:13: these practical effects, omg! That right there is the face of death. ( the alien ofc)

9:20 I. Hate. Shock. Horror. It’s pointless and cheap and dulls the experience for ppl like me, with birth and pregnancy shit being a specific trigger.

9:22 The cinematography and tight camera angles is really well done. Alien man!!

9:26 Dude this movie is callback central! I don’t hate it at all, and it relieves tension where it matters, but in tense scenes I’d rather be immersed in the scene plus, ANDY DIED what the fuck this is so tragic

9:30 Hoopla shit she lives!!! Ohh my god holy shit THANK THE PULSE RIFLE SFX!

SUMMARY

7.5/10

The autism/robot parralel is unneeded and tacky. it bogs down the film and alienates people like me. other than that, this film maintains the alien vibe, and is a breath of fresh air when it comes to the slew of shite alien films. the human/human/alien hybrid at the end is pointless and confusing, and acts as an excuse to have a gross birth scene thats a little too much for me personally. its flawed, not as good as aliens, better than 3.

[demonsfate]

Victor's design is cool AF but my god is the sword a bit too much for Tekken, and I LOVE sword/katana wielders. Like I can see why people are saying he's a Noctis replacement, and let's not even talk about his teleporting deal. Some people on 4ch are debating whether Reina will be a Heihachi/Kazumi hybrid without electrics. I also feel like people are expecting too much from her character, but who knows. We will see her soon either way

I actually LOVE Victor's design. I dunno why, but I just have a feeling he's gonna be the best designed Tek8 newcomer. (I have no hopes for Reina LOL) But while I'll get into the "anime" stuff soon into Tekken. I wanna note the reason why it's throwing you off is because when you look at characters like Azazel, you're not surprised by its abilities because it matches its stupid purple chicken design. Victor looks like almost a relatively normal guy, so seeing HIM pull off these crazy cybernetic moves is unpredictable and doesn't match the design. Which may have been intentionally, they may have wanted to subvert expectations. But I'm personally not the biggest fan of it.

And I think I'll take this opportunity to really talk about Tekken and its story, how it changed. Because I'd rather just make one post rather than making a short response agreeing with you, and then doing a follow up! So feel free to read beyond this point or not. :) See... most fans do agree that Tekken 6 is when the game took a turn and became Very Anime. That was the start, and that's another reason why many people are critical of Tek6 beyond its depiction of certain characters. Hence why Azazel came to your mind.

But I actually think Tekken 5 is when the game began developing theses symptoms. Jinpachi was leaning toward "too much," characters that didn't have joke endings before now had joke endings (see Lei and Heihachi) Xiao's awful characterization, and despite Jin still being relatively in character, it did set up Jin's ""villain arc"".

And before I get into how Tekken 6 took this to a whole new level. I just wanted to explain that there is absolutely nothing wrong with anime. When I (and many critical fans) state that we don't like it being "anime," we don't mean in general. Yes, we acknowledge Tekken has always been anime. It's always had anime tropes, designs with spikey hair, and nonhuman characters such as bears, space ninjas, and devils. But the problem lies in when the game began implementing predictable, overused tropes as well as bad writing. People try to use Kuma or the devils as proof the game has always had "wacky" characters that aren't grounded in reality. But if you were to take Kuma's moveset and give it to a large human character, it would still be semi-realistic fighting, and nobody would think much beyond the biting LOL. Kuma may be in the form of a bear, but he doesn't whip out a flashy cybernetic sword, or does he throw his head at people and it explodes. And the devils also practice semi-realistic martial arts, too. The only thing is that they sometimes use a laser and sometimes fly up. Sometimes you can fight a Devil Kazuya or Devil Jin without them even using their devil moves. They don't constantly teleport with flashy effects to the point where you can't even process what's going on. And if you watch Jin in Tekken 4, he's just a traditional karate user. That's it. If you watch Jin in Tekken 8, he now has all these flashy moves and it just takes away from him practicing real karate. HELL, Tekken 4 would have Jin calmly practice karate techniques in a dojo with no background music. It showcased that the game really had a focus on real martial arts. It didn't have to contain flashy effects and images, and Jin screaming while going Super Saiyan, and loud music playing while a war is going on and all that shit.

Tekken before was anime. Tekken now is poorly written anime with no sense of direction.

Back on to Tekken 6. Tekken 6 took the "anime" tropes to a whole new level with both design and writing. First off with what it did to the story of Tekken. Tekken's story was still relatively simple prior 6. It mostly had a focus on the Mishimas familial rivalry and their corrupt business. Because of their corrupt business practices as well as their selfish desire for power, they tend to hurt a handful of people. (Such as Michelle whose father was killed because of these criminal practices.) And with the introduction of Jin Kazama's character, we have a good Mishima whose main story becomes wanting to kill his family because of their corruption. There's also the whole devil gene ordeal Kazuya and Jin struggle with, and how it affects their morals and decisions. That's it.

However, Tekken 6 is when the series' story took a nosedive and became convoluted and over the top. The game is no longer just about a dispute between family, it's now about a MOTHERFUCKING WAR that a 21 year old started and somehow managed to devastate most countries and conquer them without even a nation of his own, just a corporate business. All of this done in less than a year btw. So instead of a handful of people being burned because their family was involved with a company that's comparable to a criminal organization, or people who are investigating the corrupt company because of their not so legal practices... we now have characters who are mad at the Mishimas because they're literally bombing cities, taking over nations, and killing people in the masses. And if that wasn't crazy enough, it turns out this war started because Jin started hearing "voices" in his head of an ancient demon who threatens to destroy the world and Jin thinks his only way to save everyone is by... killing millions of innocents...? Oh and there's the whole maybe getting rid of the Devil Gene, and Government Bad.

See? That plot is just so fucking bizarre, and not in a good way. It's to the point where it's actually incomprehensible. Because even to this day, fans cannot understand Jin's motives due to his wild (un)characterization and motives. 14 years later, fans still discuss whether Jin was the evilest Mishima and was only doing this for selfish reasons (muh devil gene bad) or if Jin was genuinely a good guy who was forced to do Bad Things for Good Reasons. Though, Jin's behavior as a character doesn't help him appear like a good guy who was forced with a tragic dilemma. But you see, the game does nothing to help the case that Jin is actually "good." For no reason, he acts uncharacteristically cruel. In fact, Jin was given opportunities to have the "Save The Cat" moment in 6. What's Save The Cat? It's a method utilized when writing a character with mostly unlikeable traits. It got its name from the trope of a not so good person feeding a stray, or saving a cat from getting hit by traffic. This means to give an "unlikeable character" a moment to show they do have a heart of gold deep down inside. This makes them more sympathetic and likeable to the viewer and helps balance their overwhelming negative traits. Jin never has this moment in 6 despite being written as an anti-hero. There were moments when Jin could've; notably Alisa's death and Miguel's grief could've been Jin's "Save The Cat" moments. He could've felt genuinely sorry that Alisa died for him. But what did he do instead? Call her a worthless piece of junk and act GRATEFUL that she died all while mocking her FRIEND'S pain. And then him giving Miguel the cold shoulder, and even showing no remorse for killing his sister. There is nothing in Tekken 6 indicating Jin is a "good guy" or has any redeemable qualities. Despite not acting like it, Jin just tells us he's good.

Anyway, I don't wanna dwell too much on Jin's characterization as I've made countless posts and have already proven how Jin in Tekken 6 might as well be a totally different character from Jin in the previous games. But I just wanted to bring that up real quick as it is an important part on why the story is so messy and I will bring it up later when talking about the game now being "over the top anime." Other than the overall plot which is too wild, the game also suffered other bad anime tropes that fans didn't like. Such as plot beats like Secret Child we've never heard of, as well as Lars' amnesiac plot. Jin's own story might've been heavily influenced by Code Geass itself, as that was a new and popular anime at the time. Except, whilst I never watched it, I'm gonna assume he developed naturally and had real reason and emotion behind his actions that make sense to the viewers as opposed to Jin whose development wasn't natural, his personality completely changed with little explanation, and his motives didn't make sense no matter how people look into it. But the fact they were heavily inspired by Code Geass but with poor execution is more example of this feeling like a bad anime. Alisa's addition was also heavily criticized by fans due to her appearance. Up until now, despite some characters having spikey hair, we never had any character with unnatural bright colored hair - which that's a HUGE anime trope. Every character had natural hair colors and eye colors (with the exception of Kazuya's one red eye. And Hwoarang's orange hair... but he's a punk who dyes it) So to see a girl with bright pink hair was alarming to some fans. And then her whole moveset... we've had robots like Jack before, but Alisa is a new extreme with how she can shoot her fists, pull off her arms, and throw her head like it's a bomb and somehow regenerate another head. People believed her to be too far fetched, and actually clashing with the Tekken aesthetic up until now. Alisa also felt a bit waifu bait at the time with her polite and usually compliant personality. Lars was also often criticized mostly due to his over the top hair. But Alisa was the start of these "flashier" anime characters.

Even though I actually thought Tekken 7 had a better story than Tekken 6 (but that's not saying much) and I felt it wasn't as generic. But... Tekken 6 was such an open sore that it left a scar on the entire series. Even though I felt Tekken 7 had some improvements in design over Tekken 6, it still continues the predictable anime trends such as Lucky Chloe being a Neko cosplayer. And what's worse is that, aside from main story, now almost every character is a joke. The majority of the endings in Tekken 7 were joke endings. This makes the writing even worse than before.

And finally... I wanted to talk about Tekken 8's story. Despite people's complaints about it being "too anime," there are many that SERIOUSLY believe Jin's gonna be a plot twist villain and Kazuya will be the one to turn around just because Jin was "very bad". These people are trying to form these theories without considering the following. 1) the anime tropes they criticize the modern games for having, and 2) the writers mindset and intentions.

First the anime tropes; this is something that people commonly joke about anime. The guy who killed many innocent people suddenly says he's "sorry" and somehow the main characters forgive him and he's now apart of the Friend Group despite his atrocious crimes. IF Jin's actions from 6 do not get retconned, then this is definitely the route they're taking. Just because Jin's "sorry" and is now trying to do "good", he's forgiven. Yes, the game's still pointing out his sins and Jin's like "I must make amends!111!!111" but it doesn't change the fact that Lars is now clearly buddies with Jin. And yes, I do see Lars maybe having it in his heart to forgive Jin, as many people faced with trauma tend to forgive the ones who hurt them as a healing process. But I don't see Lars becoming friends with Jin... or at the very least, being this friendly toward him. Jin had devastated the world, and caused millions pain... but he's also personally hurt Lars time and time again. It's weird for Lars to be "I'M PROUD OF YOU. :)" to Jin but then all scowling towards Kazuya. Which yes, Kazuya isn't doing anything to redeem himself. But... Jin still personally traumatized Lars more than Kazuya has.

Secondly, the writers intentions. Jin isn't good because of his actions and Kazuya isn't bad because of his actions. They're morality depends on the writers' intentions. The writers want Kazuya to be bad, therefore he's bad. The writers want Jin to be the hero, therefore he's good. It doesn't matter what their actions were, you can't create theories for what direction Tekken 8 goes without considering the writers. Jin ISN'T gonna be a plot twist villain because his actions in 6 appeared villainous. This is because the writers don't view them as villainous. YES, Tekken 8 is definitely acknowledging Jin's actions as "bad". But in the end, the writers are trying to depict it as a necessary evil. You can tell because not only have the game been emphasizing Jin as the "hero" now, but the writers have said in many interviews that this story is about unshackling yourself from the chains that hold you and finding freedom; redeeming yourself and learning to accept yourself. That is Jin's story. They've also made this apparent when they [Harada specifically] referred to Jin as an "almost villain" in Tekken 6 from an interview from last year. This shows that the writers themselves do not view Jin as a "bad guy" despite what the fans think, therefore they wouldn't make him a plot twist villain. In the eyes of the writers, Jin is good because his intentions were to ""save the world,"" and Kazuya is bad because his intentions are "selfish" as he's taking over the world because he wants the "power."

Also stop saying Kazuya should be redeemed but not Jin. Sorry but Kazuya is literally just as a bad as Jin. If you want to say "OH JIN DID DO ALL THOSE ACTIONS LETS IGNORE BAD WRITING YADA YADA" Then you can't go around and say "JIN SHOULD BE MAIN VILLAIN AND KAZUYA SHOULD BE REDEEMED AND DEFEAT HIM IN THE END." Kazuya is just as bad as Jin. Some fans don't think so because Kazuya "didn't start" the war. Which is so silly. It'd be like if a serial killer kills 25 people, and then another serial killer gets inspired and kills 25 people as well. Nobody is gonna say the former is "more evil" because he "started it." They're both gonna be deemed terrible people. Kazuya is perpetuating the war and striving for world domination. People try to say "but Kazuya isn't raining missiles on people like Jin did!!1" and it's like how do you know? Because the game hasn't quite shown that yet? Kazuya has been demonstrated in Tekken 7 to kill many innocent people to get what he wants. Even if it's as petty as making Heihachi look bad. If Kazuya is taking over the world, devastating it, and has all this expensive equipment... I can guarantee he's likely using the same methods Jin did in Tekken 6. Either Jin is also worthy of redemption or neither of them are.

Which brings back my point of how jacked the writing of Tekken 8 may be. The concept is something I highly enjoy; learning to accept yourself and not being afraid to take on your demons. But the issue is... this concept can ONLY work for Tekken 4 Jin or even Tekken 2 Kazuya. It CANNOT work for Tekken 8 Jin or Kazuya. It's why Tek8 Jin NEEDS to be retconned in order for the story and its message to work! There are some things you and other people should never forgive yourself for. Mass murder and war crimes are one of those things. If Jin, however, was just brainwashed (or a devil was in control) to do these actions... then it would fit the story better as Jin has to learn to accept himself, and learn to accept that just because his body was the one to make those choices, doesn't mean he himself was and that he's not responsible. It's guilt he has to learn to let go.

But at this point, I really do fear that the writing just isn't gonna be as competent to do that or pull off a convincing redemption for the character. I think it's highly likely they're just gonna have Jin say "Sorryyyy :(......" and the other characters going "cool." I fear it's gonna suffer the bad mistakes of most recent games' writing. Which is a shame, because Tekken has AMAZING concepts, but it keeps getting wasted and wasted.

And to finish this, I'll also return to something you stated about Victor being "over the top." You've seen Victor's trailer and how he just teleports everywhere and slashes his sword then does a rage art.

Here's a Tekken 3 clip if Jin versus Xiao. Xiao nearly defeats Jin, but Jin makes a major comeback... but not without cheap power moves or weapons but with genuine skill. He chooses the best moves and dodges rather than just pressing a trigger panic button. The fight flows really well too, and there's never any interruptions with a cinematic or rage/heart trigger. And the success of both characters don't feel cheap, they feel genuinely earned. This feels like watching an old martial arts movie. Modern Tekken games feel like you're watching a fight scene from an MCU film. It just feels way more gimmicky with all those bright and flashing effects.

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: Clarity 7

"K-kai!" She pulsed her chakra out to disrupt what she was seeing, despite the uncanny realism. But nothing changed except that her training partner's smug smile widened slightly.

Not a genjutsu, then. Huh.

"What the hell is that?" Aiko breathed, stopping in her tracks.

Obito made a 'herk!' sound and jerked to halt his attack, vines whipping backward. "Something you're supposed to dodge!" he said, voice oddly shrill. "You can't just stop whenever something is interesting. Lots of enemies will have techniques you haven't seen before."

Aiko made a low sound of understanding, frowning slightly. "Sorry, it shocked me. Try again?"

'Shocked' wasn't really the right word. When plant matter had rocketed out of the ground in the middle of their spar, her first thought was that Obito had turned to genjutsu.

'For a second…' Aiko cleared her face as she readjusted her stance, ready to dodge in any direction. But her mind was still stuck on what she'd seen a moment ago. Or rather, what she hadn't seen. For just a second, she had caught the wood-like material moving out of the corner of her eye and had expected to see that her opponent was a completely different man. Someone with carefully mussed brown hair, big sad eyes, and the weirdest forehead protector she'd ever seen.

'I'm sure Obito would love to know that I'm having strange visions,' Aiko thought with some amusement. She could tell him, of course, and he probably wouldn't think she was crazy. But she didn't seriously consider it.

It was either a strange hallucination, or a flash of memory. There would be no point in telling Obito if the case was that her brain was on the fritz. She much preferred the idea that it was a bit of memory from another spar, that Obito's attack had triggered a faint recollection.

Aiko was a hoarder lately. Not of physical things, but little bits and pieces of her old life. She was strangely reluctant to share what she remembered with Obito. Why should she? It wasn't like he'd opened up about the minutia of his childhood.

He probably wouldn't be that interested anyway. Remembering that she had been raised in a crowded orphanage with a skinny blonde boy and a pretty woman who wanted to be called 'Aunt Mikoto' was interesting to Aiko, but probably boring to anyone else.

(She wondered what had happened to the people she remembered. Was Mikoto really her aunt, or just a volunteer as her memory seemed to indicate? Probably a volunteer. They looked nothing alike.)

"Look, forget it." Obito shook his head, disgusted. "Let's try again when I get back." He clenched his hands, cutting off the wood jutsu altogether. "You were doing well until you got distracted by butterflies."

"It's just all the pretty colors," Aiko deadpanned. "I can't help it."

His lips pulled into a smile despite his disgruntlement. "Try to get it out of your system while I'm gone."

"What's on the schedule?" she pried, interlocking her fingers and twisting her arms above her head. Aiko rolled her neck, cracking it while she walked. Her friend winced, but didn't pause in stepping inside and holding the door open for her.

"Well, after a shower," Obito prevaricated, "I'm going to go poke around Suna."

"What's in Suna?" Aiko cocked her head curiously, blinking up at him.

He looked away before responding, eyes distant. His voice remained congenial, though. "A reasonable man."

Aiko snorted. "Well, we can't have that," she said gamely.

Obito huffed a little. "No, we can't," he admitted with a twitch of a smile. "Our business is best done when the great countries are communicating as little as possible. When you live outside the law, effective communication and cooperation between the lawkeepers is less than beneficial to your continued well-being."

"In other words, screw that guy," Aiko concluded cheerily. She flopped down on her customary chair and gave him a cheeky look. "Are you going to kill him or something?"

"Nothing so drastic," Obito scoffed. "Better someone I can predict, for now. No. As I said, he's a reasonable man. If his people are upset and there are reasons for him to be wary of what his allies tell him, he won't commit to a course of action that would help international tension simmer down. He probably thinks that the Mizukage is greedy, the Raikage is impulsively violent, and the Hokage is holding back information." He gave an easy shrug. "A reasonable man wants to believe the best and prepares for the worst. If a couple of patrols go missing here, a spy is discovered there, and he comes across unsettling information every so often, he won't be able to be the voice of reason forming that gaggle of egotistical fools into something remotely competent."

Aiko paused.

"That sounds kind of fun," she admitted. "Can I do that?"

"Maybe later." Obito gave her a sideways look, smiling slightly. "It is pretty satisfying."

She made a rude pfft sound, despite not really being that upset. Her pout had no effect, but she hadn't really expected that it would.

He heaved a sigh and turned to fully face her, clearly amused. "Just come out and say whatever it is."

"I don't know what you mean," Aiko deflected.

He looked unimpressed.

"Alright, fine," she admitted with a dismissive wave. "I may have heard about a job request that sounded interesting. But it seems more like a two-person job."

Obito hummed under his breath, sucking on his cheek thoughtfully. "And you wanted me to adventure with you?" She looked sheepish. "Well, I'm sorry that won't work out. And-" he blinked in realization. "Zetsu is preoccupied for another week or so."

Aiko nodded miserably. "Right. Someone else will snap it up if I wait that long."

He looked at her sad little face, debating internally. She would stay at the base or take a duller mission if he asked. On the other hand, what would it hurt to treat her?

He sighed. "You know, we need a longer term solution for you. Zetsu and Kakuzu are capable of working without partners and prefer not to, and there's no one else I'd trust on missions with you. But taking little jobs whenever something interesting comes up through whatever contacts you've found involves a lot of travel for generally small jobs." Judging by the resigned frustration on her face, Aiko already knew that.

Oh, hell. He rubbed at his temples, feeling a bit sorry for her. All she wanted to do was stay busy and help. Was that so wrong?

"You'll have to work with a stranger on this one," Obito warned. Her eyes immediately brightened, and she nodded hastily. "Kakuzu is not a particularly approachable man."

"That's fine!" Aiko chirruped.

"Alright." He absently pulled down his mask. "I'll contact him right now. Do what he tells you, alright? You'll have to wear the uniform, or at least the cloak, so that he recognizes you. Don't let anyone else see you in it; the cloak is distinctive but reversible. We're keeping a low profile at the moment."

"I know," she stressed, having heard this speech. "I'll wear the stupid cloak."

He held up a hand, struck by one more thought. "Where is the mission? I'll tell him to meet you there."

Aiko shrugged. "Someplace called Kiichigo Fīrudo. It sounds nice."

"Prepare to be surprised," Obito responded distractedly.

'What a dump.' Aiko braced her elbows on her knees and tried not to frown too vigorously down at the grubby little farming town that had hosted a surprisingly well-paying mission request. 'I wonder who in this town would have that kind of money.'

She had an excellent view of people going about early morning chores from her perch on an overlooking bluff face.

Kiichigo Fīrudo boasted perhaps two hundreds souls—farming families, simple folk who lived off the land. They were currently going about all sorts of wholesome things like milking cows and hoeing fields and – and that was all the farm-ish things that Aiko could recognize to list, but there were doing plenty of other things.

Aiko crinkled her nose in mild revulsion. 'It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't smell so much like goats. This whole place should probably be cited and quarantined.'

She was actually rather thankful for the oversized cloak Obito had stuffed her into before he'd let her leave. The high collar easily covered her nose, which filtered out some of the funktastic smell.

("Deidara was actually closest to your size," Obito had chatted cryptically while she grumpily held her arms out to the side. "Konan's would be less broad through the shoulder if a little longer, but she's gotten rid of all her uniform clothes, so the point is moot.")

Well, whatever. She didn't care that much about bespoke cloaks.

"I take it you are to be my partner?" a low voice ground out.

Aiko took a moment to respond, still scowling down at the villa below. She was not looking forward to getting closer.

"Yes. You must be Kakuzu. Let's get this over with, shall we?"

He responded with a grunt and started walking. Aiko's fingers hovered at her collar for a while—Obito had said that she should take it off after Kakuzu recognized her. More specifically, he'd recommended that they turn the tell-tale cloaks inside out before anyone else saw them. But he'd also ordered her to follow Kakuzu's lead, and he didn't make a motion to remove his cloak.

Besides, the inside of the cloaks were emred/em. She didn't see how that was less conspicuous than black with a couple of clouds.

'Well, I'll do what Kakuzu does,' Aiko decided. 'At least this collar keeps some of the reek at bay. I don't care much if it's right-side-out.'

It wasn't until after they had formally accepted the mission that Aiko realized that her partner was highly uncommunicative. Perhaps not going through the motions of civility with her current partner had been a mistake. Kakuzu-san seemed put-out with her.

Maybe her rudeness had hurt his feelings? He didn't look like a particularly delicate flower, but appearances were deceptive.

'I'll just be extra nice,' Aiko decided.

He apparently made no such resolution.

"You should have been capable of completing this mission without any assistance," Kakuzu criticized after a long period of silence. "If you are worthy of this organization, five shinobi should pose no threat to you."

She blinked in mild surprise. He didn't seem like a talker, but then again, it wasn't like she had much else to do for entertainment while they waited for the band of missing-nin that had apparently been extorting the little town. "All the mission request said was that it was a team mission sorting out gang-related problems," Aiko said finally. "I didn't know that it was such a small number of missing-nin."

That was true, although she'd half expected to find out their opponents were civilians and genin washouts.

Kakuzu grunted, not pleased by her answer. "You should have gathered more information before you accepted the mission. How did you expect to make a profit without knowing how much effort you would be expending? Foolish brat."

Aiko felt her hackles rise at the insult and greedy outlook.

'Don't engage. He's rude, but that's his problem, not yours,' she tried to convince herself. 'Arguing will only waste time and get me mad for no good reason. I'll get the mission done as soon as possible and we'll part ways.'

That in mind, she pressed her lips together and looked away dismissively. After a moment, she calmly managed, "I don't mind doing extra work for the reward. The mission sounded like it would be mildly entertaining and keep me out of the house."

It also counted as her good Samaritan deed for the week, she thought. She didn't share that part. Kakuzu didn't seem the type to appreciate hints of benevolence.

Aiko was actually rather proud of herself when her response came out civilly. Kakuzu grunted in what seemed to be disapproval, but he let the subject drop. It was a relief when a small caravan crested a distant hill and wound around the dirt roads that led into town.

"What's that, eight people on foot?" Aiko confirmed, squinting a bit. "There could be more in the carriage, of course, but I bet that's where the loot is."

This gang was at least ostensibly a group of travelers who offered mercenary protection for merchant's goods. It was actually a pretty good idea, Aiko thought. They'd transport others' goods from place to place as a sort of delivery company. Being on retainer theoretically made the prices much lower than transport protection that could be arranged on an individual basis with shinobi villages, and made it much easier to make multiple trips and sell a lot more merchandise. Produce, in this case.

They were almost certainly smugglers, in Aiko's opinion. That'd be what she would do, if the business was hers. Of course, she would take care to remain on their clients' good sides to skirt under the law and not all but rob them at knifepoint, but no one had ever accused most bandits of being particularly business-savvy.

She stood, giving a little stretch, and then began leisurely walking to close the distance. Aiko wanted to see them up closer. The odds that another group was using this road when the gang was expected were not good, but she'd like to be sure. It would be pretty embarrassing to accidentally murder random travelers instead of the people they'd been contracted to eliminate. They were supposed to be able to recognize their targets by kanji the hired muscle wore—lucky travels.

"That's them," her partner noted. The group was just now noticing the two cloaked shinobi, and raising a small commotion amongst themselves.

'They're deciding whether to be friendly or if we look like too much of a threat,' Aiko decided, curling her fingers around the length of wire she carried.

"Leave a survivor to question," Kakuzu ordered hoarsely. She nodded without thought. She'd already known that.

It took longer to loot the corpses for information than it did to tear them apart. Kakuzu apparently favored brutal ninjutsu. Aiko frowned at the excess, but she was a little jealous, frankly.

Obito had been working on perfecting her weapon skills, and not paid much attention to teaching her ninjutsu at all. He'd conceded that any active shinobi needed to be able to use henge, shunshin, the body-switch jutsu, and a bunshin of some sort, but those were the only combat jutsu he'd taught her.

She really shouldn't complain. Aiko couldn't learn everything at once. It did make more sense to prioritize the little things that helped in tracking and camping like the fire-spark jutsu and the really large jutsu he needed her to learn to help in bijuu extraction than it did to prioritize combat jutsu. Ninjutsu specialists were generally front-line, close-range fighters. And he didn't want her to be one.

'I could be a close-range fighter,' she thought resentfully. 'I bet I'd be good at it. I have lots of chakra.'

Aiko shoved down the internal complaint that Obito was being unfair in favor of helpfully clearing the road of corpses and debris. She glanced at the carriage—the horses attached to it were wide-eyed and distressed, but their hooves were still caught in the mud Kakuzu had made. There really wasn't any need to block the road like that.

He was busy interrogating their sole prisoner, and it wasn't like she had anything else to do…

"Hey, Kakuzu. Let the horses go. I'll take the carriage into town and report the first half of the mission is complete."

By the time she returned (with enthusiastic thanks ringing in her ears and a hefty tip in her pocket) Kakuzu had apparently gotten all he needed and disposed of the gibbering, sobbing survivor. She cast a dispassionate glance at the corpse out of curiosity. He'd apparently sliced the man up—it looked a little like the corpses she'd made with her wire.

'I thought he'd stick with ninjutsu. Then again, I suppose that would have been terribly wasteful in terms of chakra.'

Oh well. It didn't really matter.

"Aren't you going to clean that up?" Aiko asked instead.

Kakuzu stood. "No. We haven't been paid to do so." His lips twisted slightly into a sneer. "I'm sure this mess will be less offensive than the fertilizer currently in use here. Perhaps they should pay us extra for leaving them the bodies."

Aiko was torn between 'that's not very kind,' and 'that's not far off from the truth.' Instead, she cracked a smile. "I didn't know you were funny, Kakuzu." Honestly, she hadn't expected him to make a joke at all, even if it was a bit macabre. "I think I like you much better than Zetsu."

"Spare me your flattery, kunoichi." He began walking away, forcing her to hustle to keep up. "Even if you did not resemble a child, you are entirely the wrong sex to interest me."

Aghast, her jaw dropped.

He thought she was flirting with him? She didn't know if that was arrogant or just so cynical that it was sad.

"What, I can't be nice unless I want something?" Aiko snapped, offended.

All Kakuzu did was snort. "Come along."

The rest of the mission was completed in a tense, sullen silence on Aiko's part, interspersed with occasional brisk orders from Kakuzu. It took them several days to hunt down and eliminate the criminal elements of what turned out to be an actual, legitimate business.

The only time Aiko spoke up was to convince Kakuzu to let the actual owners, their family, and their staff live.

She had to resort to his language to do it, however, because she wasn't thick enough to think 'That's not very nice' would work on him. "We haven't been paid to kill businesspeople," Aiko pointed out. "In fact, allowing them to remain in business offers us future opportunity for further profit."

The woman who had founded the company nodded furiously, clutching her ten-year-old son so tightly to her chest that her fingers were white.

"Either they'll end up accidentally hiring more thugs that we'll get paid to kill without having to do the preliminary research again," Aiko listed in a stroke of inspiration, "or actually, I could replace their missing team. It'd be a long-term mission, paid very well since I can substitute for all the lower-level thugs, and you won't have to be involved at all."

It would also be easy drudgery that gave her an opportunity to get paid exorbitantly to travel and make money on the side moving contraband, but she left that part unsaid.

Kakuzu accepted that argument, but forced the business owner to sign a contract that he wrote up on the spot before he would leave.

"Sorry about him," Aiko apologized to her new employer as soon as Kakuzu's steps had faded. She didn't want his bad attitude to color her new business relationship, after all. "He's a bit of a grump."

The middle-aged brunette managed a quivery smile, still carefully placing her body between Aiko and the door she'd shooed her son through.

"Yeah…" She scratched at the back of her head, mildly uncomfortable with the continued tenseness. "Let's talk business, then? I don't do grunt work, so you'll still have to hire a couple of people to do packing and transport. What's the route like? And oh-" Aiko clapped her hands together sharply, remembering something. "I know it's not in the contract, but I don't sleep outside unless there's really no other option. What kind of accommodations are available in the various stops?"

She wouldn't intentionally��intimidate this poor woman any more than Kakuzu had already done, of course. But if asking about accommodation right now netted Aiko a better deal, she wasn't too morally upright to pass that up. Now that she'd met the organization's financial manager, she was beginning to suspect that she would not be getting a wonderful budget for hotels

Aiko wouldn't need a place to stay tonight, of course. She wasn't that far from a safehouse.

'I'll just stop by and leave a note for Obito,' she thought cheerily, already expecting praise for solving the problem of finding lucrative employment that Obito didn't have to pull another member away from their own work for. 'Other than that, I could start anytime. I wonder if she (Aiko suddenly remembered she didn't even know her employer's name yet) would notice if I made a detour. Moving produce is nice and all, but I'd make a lot more money if I pick up some other merchandise.'

Life was pretty good.

"I'm afraid that I have something to say."

Even the Raikage shut his trap and turned his stare on the Ame representative, who had somehow managed to find a comparatively dark corner to lurk in, despite the meeting place being both well-lit and circular. Konan had been pointedly, painfully silent except when directly addressed on their first meeting. That had been two months prior. After a flurry of exchanged messages, international opinion has settled enough that it had been possible to arrange another meeting to hopefully settle affairs.

This can't possibly be any good.'/em Tsunade raised an eyebrow and leveled an impassive look on the younger woman.

"I would like to confirm the Hokage's report at our last session."

Wait, what?

Tsunade was still trying to figure out Konan's angle when the other woman continued speaking. "The criminal organization known as Akatsuki is still a threat to international relations. As a gesture of goodwill, I have prepared dossiers on the remaining members of the organization."

Displeased, Mei's lips twitched slightly. "There are only a small number of members available," she demurred. "Surely they do not present an urgent issue."

Konan gave a tiny smile. "On the contrary," she said smoothly. "Nagato was neither the leader nor the most powerful member of Akatsuki. The man responsible for forming the organization is one that you might remember, Mizukage-dono." Before Mei could spit fire at her for insinuating that they were social equals or that she was familiar with criminals, Konan waived a hand slightly. "He has been directing international events for longer than I have been alive."

It was a little bit of a thrill to realize that she knew where this was going.

"Uchiha Madara, the original nuke-nin, is responsible for the formation of Akatsuki."

The dropped jaws around the room were sort of hilarious. Tsunade wished a moment later that she had feigned shock when Gaara's eyes narrowed on her slightly.

Despite the clear logistical problems with what Konan had just claimed, no one seemed to dismiss the possibility. That, more than anything else, spoke to just what kind of legend Madara had. Konan hadn't been exaggerating when she described Madara as the original nuke-nin—the originator of that sin against country and kage, in a way. He may have been a Konona-nin, but he was in everyone's history texts.

'This is perfect,' Tsunade realized with a sharp bit of joy. Well, the news itself was bad, but it confirmed her suspicions and would hopefully convince her peers to come to a wiser consensus.

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked sharply, voicing what seemed to be the collective question. "How do you know that this man is Uchiha Madara? And what did you mean by your claim that he has been directing international events?"

"It clearly rankled the group to be dependent on Konan for information. That was probably why she had arranged the situation the way she had. She had probably been silently steaming since she had been summoned to that first meeting.

Satisfaction was plain in the victorious glint of Konan's amber eyes, even though she remained generally professional. And why wouldn't she be satisfied? From a position of weakness, Konan had made them all look like fools and took control of the session. "I simply refer to the time when he was unofficially the leader of Kirigakure," Konan demurred.

Mei turned red almost immediately.

"I am certain that Amegakure and Kirigakure have not been his only targets, of course, but I was never privy to Madara-san's whims. Nagato was his intermediary for Akatsuki and thusly contacted him more, but their relationship was… tense," Konan allowed delicately.

Oh, clever girl. By making Akatsuki ultimately emMadara's/em responsibility, Konan had made it that much harder for Mei, at least, to argue in favor of punishing the current regime for the last one's failures under Madara's control.

"Do you have any proof?" A bit out, not bothering to disguise his hostility.

"Little enough," Konan replied honestly. "Other than my own testimony, I have very little proof to offer. Madara-san showed his face to none and shared his identity with almost as few. I believe that the two subordinates he has left in Akatsuki are the ones most likely to have known his identity and been following his will alone." She gave the most graceful sort of shrug Tsunade had ever seen, inclining her head slightly. "I believe that Tsunade-dono may be in possession of some small corroborating information."

As all eyes turned to her, Tsunade resisted the urge to give Konan the stink eye. Little shit. "We had reason to suspect that the Akatsuki known as Tobi was an Uchiha," she admitted levelly. "Nothing concrete, of course, other than testimony based on the recollection of family scent characteristics."

"Smells like cat," Kakashi muttered half-heartedly. It was thoroughly inappropriate for a bodyguard to speak up unsolicited in this setting, but no one batted an eye.

A's face twisted into a sneer. "And I suppose you didn't share this information because you didn't want your village to look weaker than it already does," he accused.

She'd been expecting that. "It was an unconfirmed analysis that the culprit may belong to a specific family," Tsunade countered dispassionately. "There was no reason to jump to the conclusion that the Uchiha in question was a two-hundred year old man long thought to be dead. Had I brought such flimsy evidence to your attention, you would have dismissed it."

"That's very convenient," Mei said flatly.

She was cut off by a rude snort from A. "I'll say it is!" He brought both fists down on the table—apparently unconcerned with the fact that the shinobi brought as personal bodyguards jerked forward at the show of aggression. Tsunade hardly saw him leap to his feet (and she was reminded that A was possibly now the fastest man alive, and certainly not someone to underestimate). "It's obvious that you've been pulling everyone's strings!" he accused, pointing at Tsunade.

Oh, hell.

"I was made promises that you clearly have no intention of fulfilling," he continued, pacing. "The alliance of equals that you spoke so highly of seems to be a convenient fiction. And you," A snarled, rounding on the group. "Mizukage! Kazekage! You should be ashamed to act as lapdogs for Konoha."

"Excuse me?" Mei interrupted, tone dangerously cold and high. "No such relationship exists. Kirigakure is allied with Konohagakure on equal terms for mutual benefit."

"And that's why you jump when she snaps her fingers," A mocked. "Brats. You're practically suckling at her t-"

"Enough."

The Kazekage's voice was enough to halt all of them reflexively, whether it was due to shock or lifelong habit of taking orders. That was a hell of an accomplishment, actually, for a teenager with no real field command experience.

Gaara didn't revel in his minor victory. "This squabbling diminishes us all," he said levelly. Dark-rimmed eyes slowly traveled over every man and woman in the room with the weight of judgment. "Our duty is to ascertain the most reasonable, responsible, and beneficial course of action for our respective nations and to negotiate to a compromise. There is no place here for ego or insult. Amekage, please," he deferred politely, turning his face pointedly towards her. "What threat does Uchiha Madara pose, and what are his goals?"

"He wishes to collect the nine bijuu." Konan's words shocked no one. She visibly hesitated with her next words. "There was a time when Nagato-sama and I believed that Madara-san shared our vision," Konan admitted. "We desired to use the bijuu as an undefeatable weapon to force an end to human wars and violence. Now I suspect that we were tools in his acquisition. Hiding behind other regimes seems to be his modus operandi. I cannot say what he intends with the bijuu, but I do not believe it could possibly be to the benefit of the free world."

This was the first time that Tsunade had heard Nagato's moronic plan referenced since the day he had left Konoha and apparently killed himself in Ame after handing over the reins to Konan. It was just as annoying this time around.

Tsunade opened her mouth to speak-

"I'm done here," A said in disgust, pushing back his chair to leave. "Since none of you are going to come to your senses. Clearly we should be looking at Amegakure," he stressed, pointing one of his enormous sausage fingers at Konan. "If Akatsuki was really led by Uchiha Madara and headquartered there for a decade, that's where we need to begin rooting it out. We don't even know that this woman has abandoned her ties to Akatsuki," he criticized, glaring at Konan.

It wasn't a bad point. But there was also no way for outside parties to interfere in the selection of foreign leaders without setting the dangerous precedent that Mei was so wary of.

"Amegakure chose Konan-san as their representative," Mei said tightly. A muscle jumped in her neck. "As there is no indication of her continued involvement in Akatsuki and she cannot be held responsible for mere membership when the organization controlled the country without punishing every man, woman, and child therein, we must respect her authority over her domain."

A smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. "No, I see where you're coming from," he acknowledged. His body posture shifted from irritation to something confident, feet spread wide and shoulders pulled back.

That apparent agreement gave Tsunade a bad feeling about what was coming.

"I think it's the wrong stance to take and damned stupid, but I respect your consistency in applying the standard you have chosen. However." A leered rather unpleasantly at Konan. "Even if I am to concede that she cannot be internationally prosecuted for mere membership as a war crime, she has committed at least one international violation of treaty, and that must be investigated and punished. Wasn't it at your diplomatic conference, Mizukage-dono, where she attacked and participated in the kidnapping of multiple participants?"

He paused for a moment. Honestly, it was amazing that no one had brought this possibility up before. But Waterfall wasn't represented here, it was to Mei's interests if her disaster of a conference was swept under the rug, and Tsunade couldn't exactly produce Aiko to give testimony against Konan even if she thought it was worthwhile to have the blue-haired idiot thrown down from her position.

'He usually looks like such a moron,' Tsunade thought numbly. She had not expected this from the Raikage at all.

"Ah yes, it was," A answered his own question, since the room was silent. "I recall because one of my soldiers was in that party." He cracked his knuckles, giving the dumbstruck gathering a look that implied he would much rather be exacting a different kind of justice, but would milk this for all it was worth.

Konan was hard-faced and still as stone, but the pulse jumping in her neck belied her calm.

"As the first complainant, I believe that it is my right to take Konan-san here into custody. Unless, of course, the Mizukage chooses to supersede my claim. The crimes were committed in her country, after all."

Mei gritted her teeth. "Thank you for pointing that out, Raikage-dono. Yes. Konan-san, I'm afraid you will be coming with me today. You are expected to turn yourself into my custody with dignity and decorum fitting your station while you are investigated for war crimes." She stood, brushing off her dress. "Make the necessary arrangements with your representatives," Mei added tonelessly. "I will provide them an escort back to Amegakure as a good faith gesture."

'That did not go well.'

Tsunade sequestered herself in her diplomatic quarters –they were in the Land of Rice, this time around—and tried to soothe away her stress with a light novel she had picked up. Shinobi nations didn't get entertainment imports in nearly the amounts or for the low prices that the other countries did, so she'd never seen it. Unfortunately, the story about a little girl chasing rabbits failed to hold her attention. She was staring blankly at the wall when Shizune knocked on her door.

"You have a visitor, Tsunade-sama."

The professionalism in her apprentice's voice let Tsunade know that whoever it was could hear them at the moment. That was the only reason she restrained the groan that wanted to eke out and hauled her tired bones up and out to the front room.

Sabaku no Temari was curled in a chair as if she belonged there. She had also apparently managed to coerce or browbeat Hatake into fetching her tea. He was scowling and slouching slightly as he delicately filled two blue flowered teacups. Tsunade accepted hers with graceful aplomb and settled across from the younger woman as Hatake began to stalk off like an offended cat.

Tsunade kept her voice mild. "Hatake-kun, Shizune-chan. Please feel free to explore town and enjoy yourselves."

They took the platitude for the order it was and scattered. Her two companions were holding together a tentative truce based on avoidance of the elephant in the room. She had a feeling that this conversation might strain their ability to professionally pretend the other was someone else.

"Nice place you've got here," Temari said without looking up from her cup. "I think whoever assigned housing thinks that my brothers and I sleep in a pile like puppies. You have more room. Lots of space for activities."

Tsunade made a noncommittal noise, swishing around her drink. It tasted like crap. That was probably some passive-aggressive rebellion from Hatake-kun. God, she loved that kid sometimes. The Suna girl didn't seem to notice, sipping away gamely.

"I can't help but notice that you've had the same escort the last three times that I've seen you, and that they aren't your usuals," Temari prodded. "I thought you were training the Uchiha and Aiko-san for diplomatic work, what with the way they were always around."

Tsunade gave her an uncharitable look. "Say what's on your mind."

Her hard tone was enough to make the younger kunoichi fidget, pride and the fact that she was a skilled shinobi herself aside.

"I heard rumors that there were two casualties of your invasion, not one," Temari said bluntly. "Why are you hiding what happened to Aiko-san?"

'Rumors? How the hell did she hear that? It's not the most unlikely conclusion, given that almost no one would have seen Aiko alive after Pein. But I didn't realize that anyone was talking about it.'

"Aiko was in Konoha on guard duty when Akatsuki attacked, but she survived."

Sort of. Yes and no.

"That's good to hear, since she's going to be called as a witness for the investigation against Konan." Temari looked up at her, eyes hard and unamused.

'And the amnesiac will give fantastic testimony, I am certain,' Tsunade thought, pitying herself a little.

That information wasn't a shock, but she had to stall for time and obfuscate. She could not impede an international investigation, but Tsunade also couldn't give them the shinobi she didn't have.

That created a delicate conundrum.

'I can't lie. But if I imply that Aiko is on a confidential mission of undetermined length, they'll have to stall the trial. There's no way to force a foreign village to give up information about clients and private operations or compel me to cut it short. They'll have to wait. That won't work forever, of course. I need to ride Jiraiya's ass and get that girl found, yesterday.'

"I didn't say she was available," Tsunade said dryly. "You won't get any more than that from me. It's possible that she will be available for testimony."

Would the record please note that she said 'possible'? Not especially likely, but Tsunade did like to gamble long odds.

Temari gave a rude snort, dropping her cup with a clink and rubbing at her temples with both hands. "Be that way. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. You know that my testimony is going to be actively detrimental to Konan's case. I don't know if Aiko has any possibly mitigating information, but she's the only one who could help that rude woman." Temari shrugged. "She spent more time actually with Akatsuki members andem conscious/em than the other two, from what I understand. Yugito-san and Fuu-san will have no reason to pull their punches, especially since Yugito-san's kage is the one forcing this. He's completely right, of course," she admitted grumpily. "This trial is legal and ignoring the old lady's crimes would make a mockery of the treaties she broke.

Tsunade twitched. 'Old lady? Konan is quite a bit younger than I am.'

If Temari hadn't connected those dots, Tsunade wasn't going to be the one to enlighten her.

"But the timing is terrible," she continued for the younger blonde.

The Suna kunoichi nodded, apparently unaware that she was snarling slightly.

Those Sabaku kids were rather sinister, Tsunade thought quietly.

The family resemblance was much stronger when the otherwise pretty kunoichi exposed her teeth and growled slightly like that. Perhaps she'd soaked up the insanity that the Kazekage had shrugged off in order to better fit his nutty skull into his nice new hat. Temari's hair was certainly puffy enough to be hiding some secretive craziness.

It would probably be polite to not notice any of that. She took a sip of tea.

"I can't promise much," Temari said testily, as if concerned that Tsunade would beg her for favors. "But I think Gaara will be more than willing to suggest that we wait a little longer than strictly necessary for an international trial. There's a lot of pomp and circumstance involved, of course, and we'll have to arrange an intermediary like a Daimyo or an impartial foreign leader. So you should have time to drag Aiko out of whatever mysterious hole she's in and get her ready to save Kage Blue-Hair's wrinkly hide."

"Well." Tsunade clicked her tongue. "Thank you, I appreciate your assistance and discretion in this matter."

There was an awkward pause when Temari leaned slightly in, expecting to be trusted with more information. The Hokage blinked guilelessly.

"Right." Temari drew the word out mockingly, letting it turn just a little nasal. "I'm so glad we had this talk. I think it's just peachy keen that we can be so upfront with each other."

That actually did make Tsunade feel the tiniest bit guilty. The younger woman had come over for the explicit purpose of offering her help and expressing concern for their countries' mutual interests.

She realized she'd been manipulated even as she opened her lips to give Temari a bone. "As I informed the Raikage when he huffed and puffed his way into Konoha, Aiko is currently missing in action. I cannot give any more information than that, although I can share that we have reason to believe she is alive and well. Please do not let this information pass beyond yourself and Gaara-dono."

Temari opened her mouth slightly and then didn't breathe for a moment. Once thought had apparently re-asserted itself she pressed her lips together, raised her eyebrows, and nodded slightly. The expression wasn't especially pleasant. "I see," Temari said tightly, swallowing the words. "Thank you for this information, given in confidence. I presume that the Raikage is under the impression that you simply haven't changed her official status and that she actually died at Pein's hands?"

Tsunade carefully didn't nod, letting the younger woman take her lack of dissent as assent.

That was her hope, since Sasuke had opened his yap without her permission. If Aiko really had died (and stayed dead) in that fight, Tsunade might have tried to keep it quiet for a while. It was no secret that the other nations thought Konoha was outright lying about having exactly one fatality in their invasion. Obscuring and minimalizing combat losses to the international audience was practically tradition. No one wanted their enemies to know exactly what their resources were.

So, hopefully, the Raikage would assume Konoha was hiding that Aiko had died. They would be looking for confirmation of that story, not signs of an unprotected Uzumaki out of village walls.

Konoha needed to be the only ones looking for Aiko to have half a chance in hell of locating her. Otherwise, they'd have to sort through counterintelligence and fight competing interests looking to buy the information Konoha wanted.

It would have been nice to come home to an orderly office caught-up on paperwork and a happy populace. For the most part, things were in order. But Tsunade had barely settled into her desk the morning after she arrived back home before the corpse-pale former Root that she'd snagged for her personal guard asked for a chance to speak with her.

"Talk," Tsunade commanded wearily, wishing she'd had more than store-bought cookies for breakfast. That just wasn't enough fuel for whatever trouble he was bound to bring to her attention. And hell, she was right.

"I suspect that the tenuous balance maintained by my former organization has failed," Sai shared calmly. He sounded like he might be commenting on the weather. "ANBU had been maintaining equilibrium for quite some time since Danzo-sama's death. Likely, they were fulfilling lingering orders and scrambling for new leadership. However-"

Reflexively, Tsunade curled her hand into a fist, waiting for the next news to hit her like a blow.

"in recent weeks, Sasuke-san first noticed changes in the mission-taking statistics of upper level shinobi."

Tsunade blinked. Sasuke? She would have thought that his hands were full enough in his absence that he wouldn't be able to start compiling information on anomalies he noted until she returned.

'If nothing else, he's efficient,' she remembered, a little proud.

Sai continued pleasantly, gaze professionally focused on her eyes in a way that even Sasuke struggled to maintain at times. "Several shinobi have significantly increased the number of times they report and petition for additional work. Had this begun months prior, it might have been patriotism. It seems more likely that these are operatives who have been completing extracurricular work until recently and are maintaining a steady workload by supplementing their official missions. This means, of course-"

"That until recently they've been occupied with work that was off-the-books, yes," Tsunade agreed. She was pleased with both his insight and initiative in bringing this to her. "That's good news, as far as I can tell. I prefer to start my mornings that way."

Sai inclined his head slightly. "I would concur with your analysis that these shinobi have decided to remember that their first vow is to the Hokage," he began carefully.

Tsunade caught on with a groan nearly instantly. "But you don't think that this is all of Root, do you," she confirmed. Her shoulders slumped slightly when he nodded. "Wonderful. Does that mean that their former compatriots will still follow whatever agenda Danzo left for them, or are they wildcards now?"

Sai blinked twice, long dark lashes almost shocking in contrast against his skin. "Any who have not chosen to give you their allegiance are likely still committed to Danzo-sama's cause," he admitted with a little trepidation in his tone. "However, they may not share the same interpretation of Danzo-sama's cause, how to go about achieving it, and if they should remain aligned with any or which of his contacts. The situation has every likelihood of becoming complicated and messy."

"Do you have a recommendation?"

She was glad she prodded a moment later.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Sai said formally. "It is my lowly opinion that now is the time to ensure that the infrastructure ROOT maintained has been destroyed, especially in regards to the underground transportation network. Eliminating those would go a long ways toward preventing collusion within the village. Once isolated, an individual operative is little threat. Additionally, it would be wise to increase patrols and security in the closest sectors to the village to prevent information dealing that is out of your control."

Most of that sounded good, but- "Is there really a possibility that any of Danzo's tunnel system survived?" Tsunade asked a little skeptically.

The question was rhetorical by the end. While the unnatural attack used by Jiraiya's former student had done terrible damage to the village and probably collapsed any tunnels, she couldn't afford not to make sure. Tsunade repressed a sigh. "How far have you gotten on that map I wanted you to make up?" she prodded wearily. That hadn't been high priority, but now…

"It is completed to the best of my memory, Hokage-sama," her ANBU murmured with a slight bow. "I feel confident in my familiarity, but it is always possible that information was withheld from me. In order to be certain, I would ask that either a skilled genjutsu user or a Sharingan wielder accompany me to ensure that no hidden areas remain to pose a risk to village security. I anticipate that it would take several days to clear out the entire structure and make certain that it is unusable."

"Several days? That's not so bad. And your request for assistance will be granted, of course." Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose, thinking. "How is your doton?"

When the boy hesitated, she waved a hand.

"No matter. This mission is going to be big enough that it makes much more sense to assemble several teams. Your logic in wanting either a Sharingan wielder or a genjutsu master is sound. Kakashi, Kurenai and—well, it'll give Itachi something to do as well," she decided on a whim. "You'll be involved due to your familiarity with the territory, of course, but I won't send down a group that doesn't have at least one expert doton user to keep the group safe in case of cave-in. Yamato meets that criteria," Tsunade mumbled, trailing off.

She was tapping the desk with her fingers and trying to visualize logical configurations when she realized Sai was still standing there at attention.

She cleared her throat a bit sheepishly. "Good work, Sai. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Please do your best to separate the map into three sections so that three teams can safely access every point labeled without more back-tracking than necessary. I'll call you in tomorrow to begin work on this project. You may go."

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary414

11/11/24

monday

don't feel under the weather, yet,

though i don't feel above it either, i suppose. that would mean i am level with the weather, i suppose the weather is a little crummy lately, all this wind and being so dry, so i don't feel great, so i worry i will get sick, still. somewhat crazy whatever my gf has, it's not all the way inside me yet.

here's something funny i did today, which was look at google maps for this weird fundamentalist mormon town, or maybe ex fundy cuz the guy's been put in prison for life though i imagine really it's a lot of them still. but, in colorado city, you can see the polygamy castles they built, all bizarre ideas of houses, the place is still ridden with all these houses that seem like fortresses, i went and took pictures. they also seem unprofessionally built, meaning they all look strange, un-uniform. bizarre. here they are:

and here is a very funny pair of images:

i've known about this place for years, i've done this before, seems like this year they got new pictures of the place though, very interesting to see, given that the last time this placed what photographed, it was 2008, so 16 years of difference, lots of these places still standing, still diy-ed like that. god. freakish.

here's another thing, the springvale utah flag:

totally bizarre. look at the stars. i really am inspired by it in some way, it feels descriptive of something, nothing good, really, it's just this bizarre and rather old feeling patriotism, like, that hasn't died, all the ugliness of that too is wrapped up in that, it's a bizarre relic.

i didn't really draw today, i don't know why, i should have. it's i guess a little harder now. organic forms and stuff layered onto those are making more sense to me, fabrics and whatever-elses but harder stuff is, harder. it's very weird to me. i guess it's because maybe the perspective is imperfect in the image? i dunno. but it's not ideal. hard to figure out for me at least, hard to do shading/rendering on it right... bleh. tomorrow i'll figure out what i'm doing maybe. then tomorrow i think i should just start another one also, someone cuter than the thing i'm doing now.

i finished the open curtain today, very good book. hard to say a lot, it feels rather self evident and not complicated. the violence of religion, particularly, and strangely, pointed at how men hate women, the ways that mormonism in particular directs the violence downward, and beneath the men are always women, and lo, you know.

here is an interesting quote from evenson's afterword:

the whole penalties thing is insane to read about on wikipedia. very bizarre ritual!!

i started his book the father of lies, which is rather insane, with how forward it is in portraying a man who is an insane pedophile and religious leader, written in parts from the first person. i can't tell if maybe it's too forward? it's good, thus far, i'm not very far in but i am liking it, it's just, rudd was written so well as someone who is receiving things and by receiving and knowing, growing less in control, the knowledge crowding him out or the impossibility of knowing the effects of the faith he is raised in, this deep blindness in him appearing. even subtler his negativity towards his mother, and her treatment of him, both enforce different aspects of faith and woman hating, for one, the frustrations he had with his mother weren't unfounded but were perhaps of a common stuff people direct towards their mothers, on the other, she did want to make him submit to intense notions of perfection for his faith, impossible things, at no point could he be himself really, it felt like, he was always distant from that center.

in father of lies, it is hitting you with lines like this:

perhaps there is a quality of it being almost normal, which makes it more disquieting. mostly, it feels insane. insane is good though, insane is true, people like this are insane.

i think soon... i need to read more helene cixous, things like that. finish mad love, too.

i am sleepy, now,

so i guess i will just go to bed, not much else / more to do,

oh i was thinking, regarding mormonism, it really feels like it's so disquieting because its evident misogyny and death obsession/violence, these feel only like facets of most abrahamic faiths which when viewed from this particular vantage/frame/set of readings and appended texts, it only feels like it defamiliarizes those central notions, rather than being any kind of true bastardization i think. i mean i don't really seek to defend it or whatever, it's certainly mostly cult-like and especially bad but i wonder if that's why for one it fascinates people so, and secondly why it gets under people's skin, especially other religious people, it's this obscene thing not because it is unlike what they believe but a really surreal reflection. i dunno, i was just thinking this while milling about the bathroom moments ago,

anyhow,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1110 review

This is a chapter that doesn't disappoint. Things are really heating up as we hit the tenth chapter of volume 109 with Egghead's likely final end-of-volume cliffhanger to come in the next chapter or two.

But we start out with a new cover story, and yeah, it's Yamato following Oden's tour of Wano, which is probably the least exciting thing going on this week. However with the last cover story having such a large and immediate connection to the current story, I'm going in with an open mind and considering my hopes. Seeing some of the stuff that got shortchanged in Wano's clipped epilogue would be cool, like Ryuma's grave for example, or passing by Izo's tomb and seeing Kiku visiting. Perhaps a more direct confonrtation of the public's feelings about Tama's Kurozumi heritage. That one might be hard in the pantomime format of a cover story, but you never know. It's going to be a few installments before there's enough info to make any real prediction about the story's trajectory though, we know they never quite stay the course they seem to start on.

Getting back into it, Oda spends a couple of pages building into the big reveals. We also get a timeline update, with 3 minutes down already, which is a brisk pace as Shonen countdowns go. The summoning circles definitely seem closer together and like they're placed in a more rubble-strewn environment than in the final spread of the last chapter, enough to ease my concerns about the space shifting slightly.

And the monster designs that come out when the shadows are pulled back are truly awe inspiring. I don't know a lot of yokai or much about any of them (could tell you a little bit about classic sandworms though), but these are easy 10/10 beasts with all of Oda's best character design ideas on full display. When One Piece ends and he inevitably gets restless after his well-earned break Oda should absolutely do the Toriyama (RIP) thing and design monsters for games. What do you even say to a pair of pages like this? I can't stop looking back to them.

And these guys are made to feel like a threat too. None of them speak in the whole chapter; similar to Saturn's original rampage it makes them feel all the more inhuman. (Saturn did speak when he confirmed the summons in the last chapter, so we know they can but you still get the same effect from how sparse their dialogue is.) They spring immediately into action with no apparent coordination or communication between each other, and they go straight for their goals. There's no posturing or speeches or taking test shots at Luffy to measure his power. Nasjuro is off and running already, cutting down Pacifistas to unblock the Buster Call fleet, solving problems for the bad guys. Mars takes a shot at the barrier, and even though it doesn't work you know he's going to be there the moment it goes down for real. And Ju Peter and Saturn go straight for Luffy. They really don't feel like playtime villains, which is exactly what you need at this late stage of the story.

The absence of Warcury is curious though. Is he also fighting Luffy, or is he going for something else? Charging towards Bonney perhaps?

But what are they? The fact that the odaboxes simply give creature names without specifying a Devil Fruit type is super suspicious. Nasjuro's ice powers mirror Brook's abilities (which allegedly come from having returned from death, rather than being directly a feature of his fruit), which could maybe suggest that he as well has returned from some kind of underworld.

I'm not ready to totally rule out it being a misdirect and them having Devil Fruits of a matched kind, but the weird details are adding up.

Speaking of weird details, I can't quite tell if it's weird scaling/camera angles or not, but it almost seems like Lucci knocks Enma away from Zoro only for it to boomerang back to his hand. I'm not crazy, right, other people are seeing this? At a glance you think maybe it goes up and he catches it as it comes down, but that flight path is curved in every panel. So what, did Zoro just get lucky with the amount of spin, or is there some strange new property of Enma's power/contained Haki being shown here. Or something to do with Zoro's close grim reaper encounter? Stick a pin in this one I think we'll be coming back to it later.

I'm ambivalent about the Zoro and Lucci fight as a whole. The outcome was never in doubt, and it was too offscreen to provide any real character interaction or clash of ideology to add substance. Zoro snapping and finding the motivation to take the win right away when Sanji talks him down is a decent bit for the two of them, but it's not quite enough to make the whole fight feel like more than padding.

Truly, if Lucci had been handcuffed properly after the death game portion and never made his breakout attempt, I don't think the arc would have played out any differently. Even the silly anticlimax of the sliding ship serves the purpose of justifying the Sunny getting from A to B over dry land, but Lucci? Was taking Stussy off the table that important? Was it the only way to make it believable that Zoro wouldn't follow Sanji and Vegapunk down to the Labophase and get involved with the Elders too soon? I'm having a hard time seeing it, but the arc isn't over yet.

The final spread is a fantastic callback and great hype-builder for the next chapter. And I think it's going to prove just how far the Elders' regeneration is able to go. The Elders aren't going down here, definitely not, but with Dorry and Brogy there might just be enough muscle on Luffy's side to hold them back until the broadcast goes ahead.

We're getting colour pages next week, and I have to wonder if an Akira Toriyama tribute is coming. Jump has to do it, there's no way they won't, but the gap between when the pages are finalised and when we see them, and the break between when Toriyama died and when it was announced to the public makes it all kinds of tough to figure out the earliest that could happen. I could definitely see Oda pivoting last minute and trading out a finished colour spread to something in honour of Toriyama, but the timing is tight. We'll see soon, I suppose. May the hits keep on coming for the Egghead finale!

You can also read on my Wordpress!

[secondpest]

Doctor who is so over its crazy: a brief rant.

I just watched the 4th Christmas special, and I really, really tried to like it. It's terrible for so many reasons.

Episodes 2 and 3 were actually kinda good. I liked that these old characters came back and were written like they used to be. I like that we finally got characters with consistent personalities who can have complex feelings and ideas and conflicts.

I really liked in the first Christmas special when they revealed the alien ship and it was obviously made to look like earlier seasons of Dr Who when the VFX department was made of 6 people working with no budget to smash together some overly composited, high contrast, stainless steel object that looked oddly appealing. One positive about the show, in my opinion, is they have exceptional compositing. The colors just look right, and aliens feel like they are there and they are real.

However, episode 4 is the first episode where they stopped conforming to old episodes and the show's old style, and its where my praise ends.

I think we missed a key fact: the fact that in the Chibnall era, Dr Who's budget expanded dramatically. No longer were they on a shoe-string budget. And I think at that moment, Dr Who became corporate.

All the characters seem so nice now. Nobody, not the Doctor or Ruby, have any bite to them. Not to mention, the music has gotten leagues less interesting or enjoyable. The magic of the music is gone, instead filled with generic music or 2 minutes of overly auto-tuned goblin pop. The sound effects, overly cheesy, yet lacking personality, layered in places that make no sense. The shot composition has gotten weird too, with an over-reliance of wide lenses, and a lack of over the shoulder shots. The framing of the camera makes the show feel almost impersonal, in stark contrast to Russel T. Davies' writing style. And for his writing style, I don't know about the reality of this, but he clearly misses the support of additional writers and editors.

Russel T. Davies is excellent at writing characters and dialogue, but him, or whoever else is on the current writing team, desperately lack the ability to tell Good sci-fi. Good sci-fi builds worlds, explains technology, establishes patterns and connections. And in contrast, we have wooden ships of creatures who live in the sky and eat children, because magic? We have an entity from outside the universe who can control reality... because magic. This might be fine in some contexts, but for me personally, the world-building of the show was one of my favorite parts. And while old Dr Who was guilty of this type of writing too, it rarely was this bad. Davies also seems to struggle with the concept of "Chekhov's gun." In other words: you have to establish plot elements BEFORE those elements come into play, or else your story starts to feel like it just decides to go in that direction. When the scientific advisor uses her wheelchair to shoot rockets and blow open a wall for Donna Noble's family, that is unearned because there is no setup for that. In a scenario where we had known that this was possible earlier, even if it seemed cheesy or outlandish, it would still have been satisfying to the viewer, who could have guessed this. Being able to predict the story before it happens is an indicator of a coherent story. A good story is both unique and predictable.

This might just be me, but I also feel like this episode in particular reeks of "corporate quirkiness." Not just being unique or wacky, or not even being cringe, but rather the false pretenses of being quirky, while not being quirky at all. The doctor desperately wants you to know he's weird, but instead of saying things in french or talking about astrophysics, he says "LMAO" out loud. This might just me not growing up with this version of The Doctor, but he emanates unearned "I'm not like other girls" energy.

Talking of vibes: The new doctor seems a lot more sexual than old doctors. To me, and to a lot of other people, the doctor is an asexual icon. He often recoils at advances, and even if occasionally he can develop romances with people, he often keeps distance. In contrast, this Doctor is flirty, he is sexual. And characters like this are fine, and it's also fine to have sexual queer characters in media. it just feels kinda sad to me, because in a way this is so oppositional to what this character has been defined as, that I can just no longer define the new Doctor as the same character.

And so, all in all: I don't think Dr Who is back. The things which made the older seasons of the show good are now gone, and I don't think there's anything that could really fix this. Even if there was, the direction the show is going in is just not the show I'm here to watch. Maybe I'm wrong, and actually the next season is amazing, but I don't think I'll tune in for quite a while to find out for myself.

[collymore]

One sexually impetuous act by me doesn't make me a slut, irretrievably!

By Stanley Collymore

Yes, I was foolhardy to do what I did; but just as there was no coercion on my sexual lover's part to, at any cost, bed me, there likewise was no calculatedly cunning conspiracy on my own either to obviously ensure that he did and perfectly frankly and honestly what evidently happened between us consensually really came about both naturally and spontaneously. True to say I had long promised myself that I would really, never sexually involve myself heterosexually, for really it is what I unquestionably am, with any member of the male sex until I was over 18 and even then it would just be with somebody I basically knew personally, crucially liked or simply really deeply cared for reciprocally, was evidently, a legally consenting adult; and who were he to be even truly in love with me, nevertheless really respected me sufficiently to sensibly take, my well-known and cherished feelings into his fullest consideration before we crucially actually indulged consensually in mutually compliant adult coition.

Fully confident in myself that this was the way in which I would consciously and willingly lose my virginity, I consequently didn't worry or even think about sex unduly; as there was no real need or actually any reason to as I was just 16, quite clearly, still at school, and earnestly planning on subsequently going on to university. Simply, really the first person effectively amongst any of my family to actually contemplate far less able to do so; as my Gran, I learnt, was clearly obliged to get married as she was simply up the duff when she did so while rather tellingly Mum had me at 15, aptly quite predictably so according to Gran, having readily relinquished   her virginity at the age of just 14, rabid promiscuity on mum's part which undeniably resulted in her being up the stick with me really as the literal consequence of an orgy, that really she was fervidly part of with a group of itinerant, building workers that then were evidently, undeniably employed officially as a workforce and by my Mum to effectively be aptly the routine, ex-tempore sexual commodity, truly appropriately within her prudish community. Relevant individuals simply to Mum but rather obviously not any apparent reciprocation in direct response from them to her, other than the very usual sexual one, that undoubtedly simply left her pregnant with me after they'd literally gone.

Now, despite all my earnest precautions undeniably so to evidently, preclude me from being like either my Gran or Mom, yet in spite of them, there I was plainly pregnant and actually so at simply 16, and essentially quite obviously, not in love with the man, who unmistakably got me so, nor he equally undeniably significantly with me and discernibly with both of us intelligently realizing that any such imposed "consensual" marriage on our part, was really the last thing that either of us evidently wanted, or would itself be distinctly decidedly emotionally beneficial to our individual or irrefutably too our joint future welfare, and effectively therefore, logically and abundantly significantly, quite unquestionably, or very unmistakably also actually be intelligently considered, by any astute person, as a valid solution!

Mom though, ridiculously sought to have the final word by seriously suggesting that this young man, five years my senior, significantly from her clearly narrow perspective in  full employment, and who'd obviously always been quite significantly, crazy about me; feelings, which evidently I did know about I neither specifically encouraged on his part nor actually in any way actually reciprocated on mine. Yet for all that, there was my mother very blatantly, encouraging me to now literally, and undeniably totally brazenly, distinctively make essentially unconcealed amorous overtures towards him effectively and very immediately afterwards, followed by my distinct seducing of him; evidently unquestionably, simply letting him ignorantly and ardently take the bait which was on offer; with him becoming not only a loving and fittingly dutiful husband, but also an amenable, malleable and controlled father!

(C) Stanley V. Collymore 4 November 2023.

Author's Remarks: This poem is written about and, rather similarly too, specifically for Yvette - her surname is definitely not essential here, whose express permission I essentially have to do this. Yvette Forster came to my attention when she quite voluntarily joined an extra-curricular group that I'd previously established to facilitate the discarded needs and rather uncatered for abilities of children, debarred from schooling, in my home town and also neighbouring areas. Children that either because of the simply evidently odious and distinctly obvious bigotries they did encounter, were unquestionably awfully shunned because of them and were all connected to their Black race and skin colour, conjoined with similar intense and debilitating prejudices because of their societal environment - take that to quite literally mean white working class and council estate residencies - were they lived, and were more likely to be summarily booted out of the British educational system for so- called anti-social behaviour and the quite usually toxically hyped rigmarole, while similar activities and even worst committed by the public school perceived elites as well as the Middle Class social climbing sycophants will naturally and instantaneously be considered as just "high spirited behaviour"; it was quite obvious to me the Yvette  - who is white - was equally short-changed as all the others, Black and White, who were all part of this extra-curricular group that I'd individually set up.

To fast forward Yvette did exceptionally well and readily integrated with all the other members of the group. Ultimate like many of the others she got a well-deserved place at university where she studied science and subsequently on graduating and with the group's full support went to the USA to do her PhD which she excellently sustained.

Yvette never married her mother's very convenient choice of husband for her, nor the father of her son who manfully did ask her to marry him but she quite candidly refused his offer of marriage, her explanation being, she recounted to me years later, that marriage should be about genuine love and commitment, not convenience. However, her child's father, unlike many in his situation, did commendably and voluntarily accept his paternal responsibilities to his own offspring as well.

While in the USA Yvette did meet and fall in love with a young man she met at university there. He knows the full story of her life, for as the honest person she is, Yvette wanted no secrets of hers hid from him. They're now married, Yvette has her PhD and that lovely son of her is himself at university studying to a doctor; stating that his ultimate aim is to a surgeon.

[thelastspeecher]

And now some stuff about Ford!

Ford is the weaker of the two. He's not as powerful a half-blood as Stan and inherits fewer "gifts" from Hermes. He's fast, good with a sword, and clever. That's about it.

But Ford is very clever. It's more than just being smart (which he is, as per canon), it's also being quick-witted. He always has a retort, his mind is always working to make the best of a bad situation. He and Athena's Cabin work together to strategize a lot.

While Stan passionately steals on purpose, Ford tries not to steal. He nonetheless will find things in his pockets when he leaves stores, as his hands have a mind of their own.

Ford's not as athletic as, say, the Apollo kids, but he's certainly more athletic than canon. And as he gets older, he becomes the fastest runner at camp.

Ford has a perfect memory when it comes to passing on messages to people. He will remember word for word what is said.

Ford isn't claimed until a couple months into their first summer at camp, after he sets a new record on the obstacle course. Stan, meanwhile, was claimed within days of their arrival, after he pulled off a crazy heist.

On his own, Ford isn't powerful enough to attract a lot of monsters, so once he gets a bit trained up, he can leave camp no problem. Stan, however, cannot, and is stuck at camp year-round. So Ford decides to stay with Stan at camp all year.

Until they're teenagers. Then, Ford gets hit with a wanderlust. He can't stay in this place, he has to go out and DO something. So he starts spending the school year actually at school, getting credits so he can go to college. This causes a rift between Stan and Ford, which impedes their ability to be effective co-head counselors for the Hermes Cabin.

In college, Ford tries just about everything, winding up with more majors and minors than should be possible. He also, as a way to burn off his ADHD energy, joins the track and fencing teams.

After college, Ford is drawn to study other worlds and realms, rather than "anomalies". It takes multiple close calls, multiple signs from the gods, and even a visit from Hermes himself before Ford stops poking into stuff mortals shouldn't be poking into.

When he stops the other realms research, Ford decides to research demigods. He's always been perplexed by how different he and Stan are in terms of their abilities, after all. The gods begrudgingly allow Ford to do this, if only because it'll keep him occupied and out of their business.

Though Ford tries to give off a serious demeanor and not be a mischief maker like his half-siblings, he can't help but pull a prank every now and then.

And, since I didn't really explain Stan's powers, I'll go ahead and do that. Essentially, it's Stan's canon abilities, but dialed up to eleven. He's good with languages and persuasive. Where Ford thinks out of tight spots, Stan talks out of tight spots. He's also a scary good salesman. Like, he WILL successfully sell you something, no matter what. He's used this to distract monsters before. Related, he's actually quite good with money. He's good at getting jobs that pay him well despite his patchy work experience and has a knack for finding sales or talking cashiers into giving him discounts.

Stan has a telekinetic relationship with locks; he can tell what they are, where they are, and pick them with his mind. Like I said before, he'll only get caught stealing if he wants to get caught. He's also good at finding traps. He's good with a sword like Ford, but prefers boxing; he's the best boxer at camp. Stan's not fast like Ford is, but he's still pretty fit.

When he's on the road, Stan's good at making himself shelters if he can't find one. He also gets sort of "vibes" about dangerous routes or paths. And he has a crazy good sense of direction. If he's been somewhere once, he'll be able to make his way there again.

Been thinking about my Olympian Falls AU lately, and I've come up with some stuff for Stan in the AU. Who, in that AU (which is a Percy Jackson crossover) is a son of Hermes. As is Ford. But this post ain't about Ford. It's about Stan.

Here are some thoughts I've had

Stan stays at Camp Half-Blood until they essentially kick him out. He doesn't want to go back to New Jersey and doesn't have a school lined up, so he stays as a year rounder until he's like 19 or so. Then they tell him he's gotta make his own way in the world. Especially since spots in the Hermes Cabin are in high demand. (This being before Percy says all gods must claim their kids and also get their own cabins at camp.)

Stan does boxing professionally for a while, until he gets a nasty hit in a match that scares him off continuing to box on a regular basis. He's seen what can happen with bad injuries, and just because it comes from a human, not a monster, doesn't mean it won't have lasting effects.

After he quits professional boxing, Stan just bounces around from job to job, never really staying long term. The jobs he's had include, but are not limited to: courier (USPS, UPS, and FedEx), cab driver, pedicab driver, travel agent, traveling salesman, used car salesman, and for one random month he works as an actual shepherd. Oh, and a thief, of course. But that's more of a side hustle on top of his 9-to-5 jobs.

Stan and Ford don't look much like Hermes when they're younger. But as they get older, they look more and more like him. Their hair gets darker and curlier and their facial features shift ever so slightly. You can't tell unless you directly compare them to photos of the past, but if you do, it's clear. It's sort of a gift from their bio dad to keep Filbrick from realizing they aren't his kids until they can protect themselves.

Stan and Ford ARE born with Hermes's blue eyes, however. And they both have a mischievous air to them that makes teachers immediately think of them as troublemakers, regardless of their actual behavior.

After Stan gets kicked out of camp, he sort of wanders around as per canon, doing the jobs I mentioned up above. Luckily, during his travels, he's able to do more than just scrape by, helped in part to his connections with other demigods, who let him crash on their couches. It's also helped by the fact that he is supernaturally good at stealing. He essentially will only get caught if he wants to get caught.

And, of course, this is one of my AUs, so Stan's traveling eventually takes him to where Angie is going to college, and they reconnect.

[absolutebl]

Genuine Question: Given how much people hate problematic topics in BL eg: kp, mame, love syndrome, etc. why is everyone so damn excited about Only Friends? Like we know nothing about the show. It's GMMTV so how sexy is it going to get? you know, like it's GMMTV. I like the cast as much as anyone and particularly FirstKhao but I don't see this 'sexiness' everyone is going so crazy over? Is it some bts thing like I know the director is jojo and he's gay. Is that why everyone so excited? Is it because we just haven't gotten anything really brilliant this year that gets the whole BL fandom together and that's why people are hoping this will, is that what's going on? I like everyone involved well enough but 'sexy', 'crazy', 'problematic', 'high heat'... I don't get it.

Only Friends & Jojo

Genuine answer.

Okay so this question got me invested enough to get off the phone, over to the laptop, and onto hotel wifi, which means typos rather than dictation homophones, but there it is.

I guess what I am saying it...

mistakes will be made

From the tenor of your question methinks you have not watched Friend Zone? It's a 2 part series. Mostly messy hets but...

Also a TON of broad spectrum queer rep (lesbian, bi, ace, demi). Real queers, not sanitized for straight consumption.

Because yeah, GMMTV will get messy and go into higher heat levels in a late night way (not in a KP way).

But actually what has most people excited about Only Friends is it being sourced in this man:

Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong

Jojo is a screenwriter (originals) and director, openly gay, multifaceted and a little experimental, naturally talented (on the job trained - he's an archaeologist originally), and he is behind:

The Warp Effect, Friend Zone and MOST importantly (IMHO)...

3 Will Be Free

There are others too, but for the purposes of this post, those are the 3 that count. I think of him a little as the GMMTV director version of Ohm's acting.

Jojo specializes in:

ensemble pieces,

good chemistry (NOT necessarily high heat, so by this I mean actor chemistry with each other all around - couples, cast, team, production)

working with and finding actors within GMMTV's stable who work well together (even if that means busting up a pair),

a queer lens,

queer rep,

and often very messy story (as in he is not invested in the traditional beats of a romance, let alone a BL).

AND he can shoot action (this is a specific skill set for directors and it's NOT easy),

thus he will shoot his sex/intimacy & COMEDY scenes as if they WERE action sequences.

This makes his stuff particularly exciting to watch. It's dynamic, there's a lot of movement, the eye is caught and dragged places. He doesn't use dirty/peekaboo framing or central aperture or manga style (not with INTENT the way trained directors do). In fact he does none of those things I harp on about because I like the romance stuff.

He's not being clever with us. He's being honest, but still applying skill. His stuff not quite raw, but also not really directed. You can tell he gives his actors a script, throws them together and then instructs them to just BE THOSE CHARACTERS. He has a light touch, he trusts them. He's not fussy or nit-picky. He's not doing a million takes to get that sene exactly how he envisions it. His ensemble pieces are just that, group projects.

His eye is wide, even for intimacy, by which I mean: he controls and watches for multiple actors at once when there are a lot of them on screen together, without them feeling stiff.

His style is quite organic but not too gritty.

Struggling to understand what I mean?

For example, watch a Jojo "group of friends chatting" scene where everyone is just standing around then watch the same thing in, say, SCOY. You'll see what I mean. SCOY is also a very queer ensemble piece, but it will feel quite stiff, unnatural, and "planned" (staged) by comparison.

For the giffers out there you might notice that Jojo's stuff is particularly difficult to gif cleanly? This is why.

I find him an exciting director. I didn't cover him in my directors overview because at the time he hadn't done much BL (and frankly, he still hasn't). It's not his focus.

I think Only Friends is actually not likely to be very BL. Queer = yes, BL = NO. He won't hit the tropes and there is no reason to assume it will end happily for all couples (if any). That's not Jojo's point of view.

He doesn't play our game. As a result, some of those excited by the idea of this show (or excited the general enthusiasm & anticipation around it), may be doomed to disappointment.

It's one of the reasons you don't see me getting excited about it.

I'm a fan of specifically the fluffy side of BL, this will NOT be that. And I can appreciate a director without necessarily liking the stories he tells.

I am industry enough to acknowledge Jojo's skill (and I LOVE 3 Will Be Free - just not as a BL), but I don't always like his narratives. No matter how good he is, his stuff is not why I personally watch Thai BL.

It's GMMTV, so how sexy is it going to get?

Again, see Friend Zone. GMMTV has a late night pantheon, mostly for het, but they will get salacious. Lots of cheating and terrible decisions. There will be no archetypes. Characters will exist in grey areas, even the "good" characters. There will be no paladins in this show. No seme/uke.

To answer this frankly?

Only Friends will get soap opera or telenovella sexy but no more. So we will be in Midnight Chicken territory, not Bed Friends.

I think the words being bandied about:

'sexy', 'crazy', 'problematic', 'high heat'

are used here on tumblr (and in fandom) as an attempt to articulate expectations set up by Jojo's style.

Most viewers only react emotionally to the tenor of a director with this set of skills. That's fine, that's what the production company wants: A visceral emotional reaction.

But I hope I've managed to clarify from a film-critic perspective what's bringing this sensation about?

But ALSO seeing a bunch of, essentially, lower heat pure BL pairs, have to push themselves into messy queer spaces? (Notice GMMTV only let the more established actors into this one? No JoongDunk, no GeminiFourth)

This is probably really what everyone is excited about.

They are gonna see their favorites cheat, sleep around, be gay (not BL gay, but actual gay). Some are legitimately excited about this, some are shipper excited, and the BL-stans who don't know Jojo are doomed to disappointment.

I'm mostly excited by how messy this is gonna make the fandom.

Su su na.

(source)

[mindastardust]

My thoughts regarding the esc 2023 final/results

Okay, I’ve had some time to think about this (and actually sleep a bit) and this is my (probably a bit disorganized) thoughts on the situation. (I’m from Sweden, so I’m a bit biased, but I’ve done my best to give a fair answer/judgment to everything that I’ve seen)

1. The blatant misogyny and racism

The amount of misogyny and racism directed toward Loreen that I’ve seen is truly disgusting. I’ve read things that seemed like direct quotes from the Swedish democratic party (aka the racist party) and that’s never, ever okay. It’s completely fine to dislike the song/the number/the singer we still need to treat them with the bare minimum of respect.

2. This is not the first time (and probably not the last)

This is not the first time a former winner is back. A recent example (that I also have seen other people talk about here) is Alexander Rybak who returned in 2018. I’m well aware that he didn’t win but he did win his semi-final and was, for a while, one of the favorites that year. And I don’t remember people campaigning against him for a whole week for that? I have seen some people talk about how his entry was fine since it was clear that he “didn’t even try to win and was just having fun”. I can’t find any source confirming this but I can find one interviewwith Loreen where she says that winning again wasn’t her main motivation for returning. And still, I see Loreen being accused of only caring about winning and being annoyingly “fake humble” (again, see 1).

Also, quite a few times in the past ten years, the televoting winner and the overall winner have not been the same. For example, the last time Sweden won, Måns only came third in the televoting category and this hate storm was mysteriously silent. Same thing 2016 and 2019, when Jamala/Duncan won in neither the televoting nor the jury votes but still won overall.

3. What is Eurovision about and who is it for?

Finland’s entry this year (and most years to be fair) is funnier than Sweden’s. Tattoo is not meant to be a funny song and Sweden generally sends more “normal” (or boring, if you prefer that word) pop songs rather than the more colorful, camp songs that most of us fans have come to associate with Eurovision. Do I think Esc would be more fun if we actually tried to send songs like that? Yeah, I do. I’d love for that to be a thing. Unfortunately, as esc works right now, it’s not the most “effective” thing to do if you want to win. As boring as it is, the more “normal” pop songs generally perform better than the more camp/crazy/creative ones.

We also need to remember that most of the 200 million viewers aren’t us. They are not live-blogging the whole show on Tumblr. They causally follow the show, most of them probably watching only the final. To call Tattoo “jury bait” is fine, cause it’s 100% true. To call it “normie bait” is less so. It implies that those more casual viewers (who might prefer music similar to “normal” pop rather than “classic esc camp”) don’t have the same right to an opinion as the “true esc fan” (whoever that might be). It also brings us to the question of how to identify that true fan. OGAE (the network of esc fan clubs) perhaps, who organizes the OGAE fan poll each year? But since Loreen won that one this year, I’m guessing that’s not a solution that’s good either.

Yes, Käärijä won the public vote (with quite a big margin) but Loreen came in second place and to act like everyone who voted for her doesn’t deserve to have an opinion is trying to silence quite a lot of people.

4. Was Eurovision rigged?

You all do realize that some of you sound a bit crazy, right? We clearly did not bribe the jury nor (do I believe at least) was this whole thing planned before the competition began. At best (if you want a conspiracy), Melfest (Sweden’s national competition) was rigged so that a “good artist” (in this case Loreen) would win with a very ESC-friendly song so that Sweden could have the highest chance possible of winning. Do I think this was the case? No. I don’t have any proof that our television network didn’t plan this. At the same time, no one else has any proof that they did.

5. So what now?

Loreen played by the rules and won. You are allowed to think the rules (the jury) suck (I can assure you that several Swedes hate the international jury we have at our Melfest each year). Should the rules change? I’m open to that. The rules have changed many times before and it might be high time for another change. There’s certainly much to gain in terms of goodwill by removing the jury right now. Also, kick out Israel while you’re at it. The fact that they’re still allowed to compete is disgusting.

TLDR; If you want to criticize Loreen (or anyone else), do it without being racist or misogynistic. Remember that former winners have been back before and that other entries than the televoting winner have won before. Realize that we Tumblre fans might not be the typical esc viewer. I personally don’t see how esc could have been rigged for Sweden to win and I do believe Loreen (and Sweden) played 100% by the rules, but I can agree that if those rules cause this much outrage, they might be due for a change.