#I love being a fictive but it's so hard sometimes

[holdmytesseract]

Dream or Nightmare?

°☆• Part 2 of Illusions •☆°

Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader

Summary: Time passes - and Loki just can't forget you. What if he meets you again, but it doesn't turn out how he wished it would? Is there still hope for a happy end?

Warnings: angst - still quite a lot, but also fluff!

Word Count: 5,1k

a/n: I actually didn't plan to write a part 2, but well... Here we are - and I absolutely love it! 😊 Huge thanks to @hadesbabygurl and @smolvenger , who gave me the groundbreaking idea(s)! 😁

I hope this part makes y'all happy! 🧡

Tags:

@lady-rose-moon @huntress-artemiss @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @chennqingg @smolvenger @alexakeyloveloki @theaudacitytowrite @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @asgards-princess-of-mischief @eleniblue @vanilla-daydreaming @valencia-rou @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @bunny24sstuff @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovingchoices14 @linaax @mochie85 @goblingirlsarah @glitchquake (continuing in the comments)

Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist

Time was passing fast - as fast as it could tick by while being 'stuck' at the TVA.

A lot had happened.

Mobius and Loki became best friends, first and foremost. They learned to trust each other and how to work together. Ravonna Renslayer disappeared - only the Norns knew where to, and the 'Time Keepers' had been overthrown and were now replaced by a council - for which everybody who wanted could vote. All of the workers knew now, that they were variants. It was chaotic and messy at first, but Loki and Mobius offered them to get their memories back - which took an awful lot of time, but it was worth it. Friends found each other again, just like family members, couples, classmates - hel, even neighbours.

It was part of the compromise.

For the safety of the time line everybody must stay at the TVA. Time lines still had to be reset, because everybody realised that there were only two ways... Strict order or complete chaos. Sure, it was cruel and unfair, but life just wasn't.

Unlike before, though, variants didn't get pruned as before. They got a thoroughly detailed explanation what was happening and how thinks worked here. They got offered a job. A home to stay. A chance to reunite with other variants they might know. A new life.

And the concept worked.

"Are you still thinking about her?" Mobius' voice urged to Loki's ears, as they sat across from each other in their lunch break; eating a slice of cake for dessert. Well... Mobius ate it. Loki was more or less absent-mindedly poking around with a fork in the poor deliciousness. At Mobius' words, though, he stopped and looked up; being snapped out of his thoughts.

The god sighed; "I think about her every day, Mobius." shaking his head. "I can't forget. Neither the memories, nor what could've been. And especially not Y/N." Like so often, when Loki's brain put him through the torturous memories of what had happend quite a while ago, here, in the TVA, as Mobius threw him inside his very own sweet, cruel dream, tears started to form in his eyes.

Mobius' eyes softened. He felt for his friend and was truly sorry about this tragedy. "I know you can't - and I'm so sorry. I was the one who put you through this." Once again, Loki shook his head. "You couldn't know. Stop blaming yourself." "Says you."

That caused the faintest of smiles to dart over the god's face. It didn't last, though.

"Sometimes I wish I could forget, you know. Get rid of all the heartache and pain. Stop getting tortured, but..." He swallowed hard; trying to hold back the tears. "All I have left of her are my memories." In vain. A single tear was running down his cheek and dripping onto the wooden surface of the table. "But I'd rather die than losing my memories of Y/N. It's a curse. A doom loop."

Mobius sighed. "I wish I could help you... Bring her somehow to you, but... I can't." "I know, Mobius... I know..." Silence spread between the two men, but before Loki could fall deeper into the dark hole which was his own mind, the agent decided to get him - like so often out of it.

"Come on," he said; standing up. "Let's keep on working. Still got a lot to do." Loki agreed and stood up as well. They both cleaned up their place and left the cafeteria, in order to keep on working.

"I see you tomorrow." Loki nodded; giving his friend a faint smile and turned to walk away. "And hey!" The god stopped in his tracks; facing Mobius once more. "Don't think too much. I know it's hard, but... Try it, okay?" "Yeah..." "Good."

Loki's and Mobius' shift had actually ended over an hour ago, but the two worked a bit overtime; keeping Loki distracted and to get some more work done. Now, the god was on his way home, when suddenly B-15 appeared beside Loki.

"Loki."

He stopped; turning to talk to his friend. "Oh, hey B. You good?" She smiled; giving him a nod. "Sure. You, too?" The god faked a smile and nodded. "How's work going?" "Good, but, uh, I'm in a bit of a hurry and... Can you do me a favour?" Anything to distract myself. "Of course, sure. I've got time." Loki shrugged his shoulders and buried his hands in his brown work trousers. "What do you want me to do?"

B-15 held up her TemPad. "Can you bring this to the Repairs & Advancements department?" The god took the TemPad. "Sure. Um, where do I find the department? I think I've never been there."

After B-15 described Loki how he'd get to his next destination, she thanked her friend and left.

Loki headed down several hallways, before he stepped into the elevator; pressing the lowest button. It took the machine a whole while to get him on this very floor. It felt like an eternity for him - but ultimately, the familiar 'ding' tone echoed through the small space and the doors slid open. They revealed a long, high hallway with mint green cabinets lining the right side of the hallway. A lot of different things were stacked on said cabinets.

Loki gazed around; scanning his surroundings. It looked kind of... messy. Chaotic.

Hesitatingly, he stepped out of the elevator and walked cautiously down the hallway. Am I right here? He saw nobody else. Not a single soul. Sure, the lights were on; actually creating a bright and somehow cosy atmosphere, but... Nevertheless was this all a bit creepy. The god kept on walking, until he reached a room. That must be it. Hunter said the first room on the left.

He stepped inside. The room was big, high, utterly chaotic and yet organised. Big kind of racks lined the sidewalls; every shelf filled to the brim. In the middle was a huge oval-shaped counter with several things and stuff laying around on it. Most of them Loki even couldn't name. And whatever it was that hung from the ceiling, Loki had never seen something similar before.

Nobody was to be seen - or well... That's how it seemed. He stepped forward, until he reached the counter - on which stood written in big, black letters: Repairs & Advancements. Must be right, then.

"Hello?"

No answer.

"Hellooo?! Somebody here?!"

Again, Loki received no answer. He waited a few moments; let a few minutes pass - but nothing.

"Why would Hunter send me to this place, if nobody is even here?" Loki said out loud - more to himself; frowning. Shrugging his shoulders, he just placed the TemPad on the counter in front of him and turned to leave - only to completely freeze in motion mere seconds later.

"Wait, wait! I'm here, I'm here! Hello! Don't leave!" A female voice suddenly echoed through the big room; followed by some loud noises. Loki froze in place. He knew that voice. It was all too familiar to him. He didn't hear it in a painfully long time - only in his head; and he thought he'd never hear it again... You. It was your voice.

Loki felt like he was struck by lightning and hit by a truck at the same time. His mind and emotions were running wild. Was this... reality? Could this be true? Or was it again just a cruel illusion? Or by the Norns, did he go mad? Was it all just in his head?

He didn't dare to turn around. Too afraid to be disappointed and heartbroken again, but also curious at the same time; his heart already screaming at him to run to you.

"Apologies! I didn't have a visitor in, uhhh, was it 200 or 300 years... Anyways, please don't go! How can I help you?" There was your voice again. But closer. And Loki couldn't help himself, but to turn around. His head fighting a battle against his heart, which was already lost the moment he heard you call out for the first time.

So, he turned around, slowly; facing the counter once again. His breath hitched in his throat; eyes widening and jaw slacking. Every muscle in his body tensed, but also lost control at the same time.

There you stood, behind the counter with that beautiful kind smile on your face. Your hair was bound together in a messy bun with a few loose strands framing your face. You wore some kind of brown, beige and green overall and looked like a... mechanic?

Tears started to pool in the god's eyes.

"Y-Y/N?" He halfway sobbed; voice hoarse. "A-Are you... Are you real? I-Is this... r-real?"

You frowned; scrunched your nose in the cutest way possible. "I, uh, I think you confuse me with somebody else. My name is Ouroborus, not Y/N - but you can call me O.B."

Loki's facial expression derailed. It felt like getting Hulk-smashed full force - until realisation hit him. She doesn't remember... Of course, she doesn't remember! She's been brainwashed, just like the others.

Loki shook his head frantically, before making quick steps towards you. "No... Your name isn't Ouroborus - and you'll remember me in a few seconds, my love."

You frowned even more and absolutely didn't understand why that strange TVA worker suddenly touched your arm gently. He was gazing into your eyes like you meant the world to him - and you didn't know why. What is wrong with him and why is he so... desperate and shaken?

Shaking your head softly, you pulled your arm away; out of his gentle grasp. "I'm sorry, but, um... Do... Do we know each other?"

Loki's heart fell and shattered into a million pieces at the impact. She can't remember me... Why can't she remember me?! Still!

"W-What?" He breathed out; the tears starting to fall once again. "It can't be..." You could practically feel the desperation radiating off of him. "I-I don't understand, I... W-Why is it not working?"

You watched the strange man pace up and down; ruffling his wild raven curls. What a weird thing to happen... There you were, living your peaceful life, repairing several things the TVA workers send you, with nobody actually visiting you for hundreds of years and suddenly - out of the blue, there was this man and did... that? You honestly couldn't quite believe what was happening in front of your eyes, and yet you felt a wave of... sympathy for him. Compassion.

You got ripped from your thoughts, as you felt two warm, strong hands softly gripping the sides of your upper arms. You blinked, only to realise that the man was leaning over the counter; oceanic blue eyes seemingly staring straight into your soul.

"Y/N, please... Please tell me you can remember...."

He was so close that you were able to actually smell him. Leather; something fresh and fruity you couldn’t point out and a mix of sultry musk and charred wood.

You blinked; softly shaking your head.

"I-I don't, I-"

Loki dropped his hands abruptly with a frustrated, sad sigh and stepped back. His eyebrows slanted, as he lifted his hands to gesture at himself; fingertips literally digging themselves into the clothed flesh of his chest. "It's me, Y/N..."

So slowly, he was frightening you a bit. His sheer maniac frustration. He seemed to be obsessed... with you?

"Sir, I'm really sorry. I-I don't know what happened to you, or the person you are looking for, but I'm asking you to leave now. I'll take a look at that TemPad and send it back as soon as I repaired it."

Loki's body slumped; all hope leaving his body.

Days, weeks, months, years ago, you were so far and unreachable. Now you were so close suddenly, and yet still out of his reach. It wasn't fair.

Loki stumbled backwards, overwhelmed by the whole situation and your request for him to leave.

"I-I'm so sorry... So sorry..." The god mumbled, before literally turning on his heels and running; trying to escape the nightmare he had fallen into. Or was it a dream?

He ran to the elevator, pressing the button quickly; repeatedly - almost as if something was hunting him down. As soon as the doors shut close and the machinery started to move him upwards, Loki pressed himself against the brown wall; breathing heavily. He was completely beside himself; on the verge of losing his mind.

Did that just really happen?

Not knowing what to do, he absent-mindedly stumbled down the hallways of the TVA, until he landed on the doorstep of the little house of his best friend...

His fist hit the wooden door; begging for entrance. "Mobius..." And again. "Mobius, please... Open the door." No minute later, the grey-haired man with the moustache answered the god's pleas and opened up the door.

"Loki?" Mobius asked with a frown; still dressed in the familiar TVA shirt and trousers. His eyes settled on Loki. He saw the tears in his eyes... How puffy and red they were. He could tell that Loki was devastated and... traumatised? It alarmed the agent. He had never seen his friend like that before.

"What happened?!"

A single tear was running down the god's cheek. "She can't remember, Mobius. I-I tried to give her all the memories back, b-but she can't remember... It's not working!"

Loki's words confused Mobius. He hadn't a single clue what this was all about.

"Who, Loki? Who? What are you talking about?"

Loki stared aimlessly into distance; swallowing hard.

"Y/N..."

This confused the agent even more. And he was highly concerned; given the fact that his best friend seemed... disorientated and not quite himself...

Gently grabbing Loki by his shoulder, he urged him to step inside his house. "Come in." The god let himself get 'dragged' inside wordlessly; without any resistance. Mobius guided him to the kitchen; stopping in front of the small dining table and pulling back a chair. "Sit down, take a breath and tell me exactly what happend, okay?" Loki nodded; did what Mobius told him to do and sat down.

Loki needed a moment to sort his thoughts and process what he had just experienced - which wasn't quite easy...

"B-15... She- I met her on my way home after our shift. She asked me if I could bring her TemPad down to the Repairs & Advancements department a-and-" "The Repairs & Advancements department?" "Y-Yes?" Mobius shook his head; visibly trying to think. "I honestly don't know if I was ever down there... Perhaps... Perhaps not... And you went there?" Loki nodded; feeling his emotions get stuck in his throat again. "Yes. I-I found her, Mobius. She's there. S-She-" "Who? Who did you find?" The agent interrupted his friend.

Another tear rolled down the god's cheek; his heart rate picking up at the thought of you. "Y/N... My Y/N..." Mobius' eyes widened. "What?! Y/N? She's there? Here? In the TVA?" Loki nodded; a black curl falling into his face. "Yes, but... She... She can't remember, Mobius. I tried to give her back all the memories, but... It didn't work."

The agent frowned. "What do you mean it didn't work? It worked with everybody here. With every variant. And now you're telling me that Y/N is... immune to it?"

"Yes."

Mobius went silent; answered nothing, and strained Loki's patience with it.

"What am I going to do now, Mobius? I-I can't pretend this never happened. I can't just ignore her! This is the woman I love! My heart, body and soul are yearning for her! I-" "I know, I know," the agent interrupted his friend. "Take a deep breath. We're going to find a way, okay?" Loki nodded; followed his order.

"What if..." Mobius started; thinking. "What if it has something to do with your feelings for her? Could this change something in your magic? I mean... You don't have a past with every other variant here and barely know them, but Y/N is different." Loki shrugged his shoulders; still a bit overwhelmed. "I-I don't know... It shouldn't. After all, it worked with you and Hunter, too - and you are my friends. We do have a past."

Mobius sighed. "Point taken." Loki was right.

"Well, in that case... I currently can't think of another solution than making her fall in love with you again. Perhaps she remembers then."

Loki blinked. "Make her fall in love with me again? You mean... Woo her, take her out on dates and court her properly?" "Exactly."

The god swallowed hard. This was not how he hoped this would go, but what other choice did he have right now?

Loki needed a few days, until he set foot in the Repairs & Advancements department once again. His brain, but especially his heart had a hard time catching up with what was happening... You were constantly on his mind. All day long - and at night, he saw you in his dreams. It was even worse than before.

Now, he stepped cautiously down the lonely hallway towards you again, taking deep breaths. He decided to best start with an apology - and that was exactly what he wanted to do now.

"H-Hello?" Loki entered the big room. "O...Ouroborus?" It felt so wrong to call you by that name and not your real one. "I, uh, I came here to apologise! I didn't mean to scare you. It's just... I lost somebody who was very important to me and you reminded me of her." You suddenly appeared from behind the counter, smiling softly. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry you lost her. Sounds very hard to lose someone important..." The god swallowed again; noticing how hard it was to keep his feelings at bay and under control.

"It truly is. Again... My apologies." "You're forgiven-, uh... What's your name, actually?" You asked with a bubbly giggle. "Loki." "Well, then... You're forgiven, Loki." His name leaving your lips caused a shiver to run down his spine; butterflies running wild inside his belly.

"Thank you."

From that day on, Loki tried to spent as much time with you as possible, in order to test out Mobius' theory and hoping to make you fall in love with him again. He tried to be his funny, charming, mischievous self - but after a while he had the feeling, that he was not making any progress. He took you on 'date' after 'date' after 'date', but that was it. You'd always talk about work, colleagues and the TVA in general. It was not very often, that the conversations became a lot more personal. Loki really tried everything possible to woo you; always stayed positive and didn't give up hope, but the feeling he had was anything but good - and he should be proven right...

Being the gentleman Loki was, he always accompanied you home after each 'date' and made sure that you arrived safely - just like today.

You stopped in front of the small door, fishing out the keys of your handbag and turned the lock, before turning to face the man again. "Thank you, Loki," you said; giving him a soft smile; which he returned. "No need to thank me, dar- O.B. It's a privilege to accompany your date home." Your smile faltered a bit; almost impossible to see, but Loki caught it anyway. Did I say something wrong?

"Good night, Loki. Thanks for paying dinner." He gave you a court nod, "As I said... Privilege." and paused for a moment.

"Would you... Would you like to come over sometime next week? After work? I-I could cook something for us and we could enjoy the rest of the evening with a glass of wine on the sofa." Loki had never invited you to stay at his - until now, and therefore was he slightly nervous. He couldn't help himself. His heart forced him to make the next move; suffering already way too long. The vital organ felt like a decaying rose since you had re-entered the god's life...

Flowers need water to live - and your love was the water Loki's heart needed.

You swallowed hard; body tensing up visibly. Something shifted within your demeanour. He noticed.

"Loki, that... That's really very kind of you and a sweet idea..." Your words send his heart and hope skyrocketing. Could this be finally the moment I waited such a long time for? Like a fool blinded by love, he didn't notice the hesitant undertone in your voice.

"But, uhm... I'm really sorry to say that, 'cause you've been very generous and kind to me... Uhm... I know you try to impress me. And maybe you feel more than just friendship, but... I don't feel quite the same." You took a deep breath; your words felt like a painfully tight grip around the god's heart.

"You are very nice, but absolutely not the type of men I'm into. I, uh, don't want something romantically with you. Sorry..."

And his heart crumbled to dust underneath your hand; all hope came crashing down. Loki wanted to cry and scream from the agonising pain within his chest - but he didn't. Instead, he just nodded wordlessly. "I-I understand. Thank you for your honesty. Good night," he more or less rushed out, before he turned to quickly walk away, since the tears started to already form in his eyes. He had absolute no intention to break down right in front of you. He'd rather do that at home - and he did.

That night and the few nights which followed, the god more or less cried himself to sleep. The small spark of hope he had carried within his body was gone. Extinguished. Non-existent. Nothing was able to cheer him up. Neither his best friend, nor B-15 - who was shocked to learn that she had send her friend unknowingly back to the love of his life. The Norns knew they tried, but... In vain. Just like Hunter and Mobius had no solution for the memory problem...

Loki stopped visiting you. Took his distance; knowing very well that he couldn't just treat you like a friend.

Days turned into weeks, but it was the same like before... Loki couldn't forget you and especially his feelings for you. You seemed to follow him everywhere. He often dreamed of you. Almost every night. A thin line between torture and bliss - until one dream changed everything...

A young Loki came to stand beside his mother; the cape of his ceremonial armour gently billowing in the wind. "I can sense your happiness, son," Frigga started; turning her head to look at him. "I take it your attempts to woo Lady Y/N have been successful?"

Loki blushed in the deepest shades of red at his mother's words. "M-Mother, I, um, w-we..." The young prince stumbled over his own words, trying to explain himself, but the Queen only shook her head softly.

"No chance in denying, Loki. I saw the kiss you shared. And besides, I'm neither blind nor stupid. It was only a matter of time. But finally, we got that kiss." She winked - and Loki literally jumped up in his bed; wide awake. The dream triggered another memory, which had been locked deep down somewhere in his brain. His eyes widened.

A kiss...

Perhaps that was what it would take... A kiss.

Loki had remembered a bedtime story which his mother would tell him and Thor, back when they were small kids. Toddlers, perhaps even. The story was called 'Sleeping Beauty' - a Midgardian fairytale, in which a beautiful princess falls into a deep slumber due to an evil magic spell, and the only way to save her is, of course, true love. So, the handsome prince kisses her - and she awakes.

Isn't the TVA exactly the same somehow?

As stupid as it might sounded, Loki had to try. He'd try anything to get you back.

He jumped out of his bed; quickly slipping into his TVA clothes. A look on the watch told him, that he'd have to get up for work soon anyway, so he had some time to get to you, before his shift started. With a snap of his fingers was he ready to leave his small home; teeth brushed, raven locks tamed and body clean. Usually, he didn't use his seidr for this, but today...

Loki was almost running down the seemingly endless corridors of the TVA, before he reached the elevator and only a few moments later the Repairs & Advancements department. Confident and trusting in the brainwave he just had, the god strutted down the last hallway, separating him from you.

Entering the big, familiar room, he looked around; eyes searching you - and to his luck, he indeed found you. You were standing on the left, in front of the huge shelf, inspecting some... device. Not beating around the bush - and not losing any more precious time, he quickly stepped over to you.

You were deep in thoughts; focused on your work and task ahead. Once the approaching steps had gotten from your ears to your brain, it was already too late.

Being suddenly yanked into someone's arms caused a yelp to escape your lips. "Loki?!" You squeaked with eyes wide open; caught like a deer in the headlights. "What by the Timekeepers are you doing?! Let go of me! I told you I am not-"

The god had heard enough. Before you were able to protest more, he leaned in and captured your lips with his; pouring all his love for you in the kiss.

While Loki relished in the feeling of your soft lips after such a long time, you were shocked. Appalled. You told him he wasn't your type and yet he makes a move on you? How rude... You wanted to push him away and ask him what the fuck he thought he is doing.

You had already lifted your hands; ready to shove him away, when it happened... Your brain felt suddenly like it was about to explode; a dam on the verge of breaking - and it did. Memories exploded within your head like fireworks... Asgard. Your childhood. Your parents. The first time you saw Loki. The first words you exchanged. The beautiful friendship you had shared with him, which melted into your first kiss. You remembered. How he had made love to you for the first time. Every dance and laugh you shared. His proposal. Everything.

You felt relieved; free. It was like the fog in your brain had finally lifted and you could think clear again. You could finally see him.

Your heart threatened to burst from the sudden rush of happiness and love you felt. You had lost Loki, landed in the TVA, were forced to forget him - and suddenly... He was right in front of you.

But then you felt how Loki wanted to break the kiss again - something you couldn't allow him to do. Before he could part his lips from yours, you pulled him quickly back in; literally throwing yourself into his arms. Unbeknownst to you, flew the god's eyes open and widened to the size of plates at your movement. Surprised and shocked, he gave into the kiss; just enjoying the moment - until he had to take a breath.

Deep Y/E/C eyes gazed into his; a teary smile on your face. You slowly lifted your hands to cup his chiselled cheeks; feeling his skin underneath your fingertips after such a long time, sending shivers down your spine. "Loki..."

His name leaving your lips caused his heart to skip a beat, as realisation hit him.

"You remember me?"

You nodded quickly; running a hand gently through his raven curls.

Tears spilled from Loki's eyes like waterfalls as he lifted you up into his arms; spinning you in a circle. You yelped up in surprise, but giggled almost deliriously; wrapping your arms around his neck.

"At last, I finally have you back, my love. I'm so sorry it took me so long to find a way back to you, I should have-" You shook your head; shushing him. "Shhh, my prince. Not now. Don't blame yourself." You pressed your forehead against his. "We have a lot to catch up to, but... Let us enjoy this moment, please. Just... hold me. Let me feel your touch. I've been starving for way too long."

How could Loki possibly refuse your request? He smiled through his tears and wrapped you up securely in his arms; kissing you slow and tender.

"Hey, C-4, have you seen Lo- Oh my goodness. Am I dreaming?" Both, Mobius and the other TVA worker were staring at the end of the hallway. C-4 in confusion and Mobius in shock. "I, uh, don't know? What do you mean exactly, Mobi-" Clapping his fellow co-worker absent-mindedly on the shoulder; eyes fixated on what was happening in front of him, he moved on. "Thanks, C-4. I got this."

You and Loki walked towards Mobius; smiling brightly. Loki had slipped his fingers through yours, holding your hand tightly. Stopping halfway to wait for for his friend, the god couldn't help but to pull you into a gentle kiss, causing you to giggle.

"Loki?" Mobius asked; still not quite believing what his eyes saw. "Am I dreaming this? Is that..." He gestures towards you. Loki chuckled, nodding. "Y/N, yes... My Y/N." His friend smiled. "So... She can finally remember? She has her memories back?" He nodded again; feeling how a lump formed in his throat once more. Happy tears were ready to fall.

"Yes... Finally, she remembers." Loki turned to you. "Darling, this is Mobius. He's my best friend." You smiled at the man opposite of you, stretching out your hand. "Very happy to meet you, Mobius. I'd introduce myself, but I guess my man here did that already, so..." Mobius returned the smile; shaking your hand. "In all those years, the one thing he loved to talk about, was you. It was really sweet." You giggled at his words; seeing Loki blush.

"How did you get her to remember? I thought you couldn't?" Mobius asked, after swallowing the piece of cake. He had invited you to eat a slice of cake together, catching up a bit.

Both, you and Loki smiled lovingly at each other; hands still intertwined. You just couldn't leave your hands off of him - just like Loki couldn't leave his hands off of you. "Well..." You started. "He's my prince. And just like a prince, he kissed me awake." "Because I am your true love." "Just like I am yours."

Mobius' eyes widened. "What? Like in that fairytale? What was its name again?" "Sleeping Beauty," said Loki with a smile. "Yes! That's the one." His friend nodded.

"Exactly like that, Mobius. I kissed her awake - and now she's mine again."

[moonbyulsstuff]

hello! if you want me to break this up for you I will!!

anyway, I want to request two sets of headcanons, if that's okay?

we have two YanSim fictives in our system, we have Osana (hiii!!!!) and Ayano... we are dating in our system

I know you said no character x character and I totally get it so stick with me I have a point

Ayano x fem reader who loves Yan-chan very much and supports her in every way possible and likes to play games with her (as in if Ayano kidnaps her, she breaks out but leaves a note saying "come catch me (:" with a bunch of hearts and Reader's just like... under the bed or something) and is in general genuinely just happy to be with Ayano even if she's... Not Mentally Well

Osana x fem reader who struggles with feeling any emotions at all around anyone but Osana, and, while being obsessed with her sure, does her level best to keep within Osana's boundaries and not really hurt her or make her uncomfortable in any serious way

if this isn't okay that's totally fine

don't worry about us being disappointed, we know no one can write us perfectly accurately and we don't expect you to write Osana and Ayano the Alters in the Spice Collective, we expect you to write Osana and Ayano from YanSim

please add your headcanons we LOVE headcanons

if there's not enough info, none of it's helpful, or there's too much lmk and I'll do what I can to fix it <33

all in all if you do this have fun with it bestiieee!!!!

Dating Osana Najimi and Ayano Aishi Headcanons.

Female Reader.

Requested by: @chilipowder9

Request Rules.

Masterlist.

Mostly used "you" in headcanons. Sorry if this is short.

Ayano Aishi:

The two of you... were not normal per say.

Ayano who's unable to feel emotions at all and will do anything to be with her love one and you...

Who's completely fine with Ayano's behavior, who doesn't see anything wrong with Ayano killing other people.

In fact, you encourage it. you indulge in it.

When you find out before you two got together, that she used many ways to get rid of her rivals just so she can be with you.

Instead of being afraid of your own being, disgusted and be in fear of Ayano.

You smiled, you congratulated her. You smiled and kissed her in the cheeks when you found out.

Ayano was shock per say, this wasn't the reaction she was expecting but she wasn't complaining.

After all, her girlfriend was happy on what she did just to get her love.

You two were happy and had fun in your relationship.

And what I mean by fun, is that you two have fun in ways a couple wouldn't.

Sometimes, Ayano would "kidnap" you just after school ends and act out a roleplay.

Sometimes you "break" free and leave a note, telling her to come and find you.

Whenever Ayano hears that someone else has taken an interest in you, she takes precautious measures to make sure you won't get stolen away from her.

Whenever it's blackmailing, murder, bullying, expelling etc.

And you would help her with it, whenever you found what she was doing.

It was kinda like a bonding moment between you two, strengthening your relationship together.

Since she knows what you like, waaayyy before you two started dating.

Ayano didn't have to ask nor figure out. She already knows, whatever you want. She'll get it for you.

Even if it's means murdering another person just for you.

Osana Najimi:

You were different, you couldn't feel any emotions at all.

It was hard to act like a normal person 'till you met her, Osana Najimi.

You did everything for her, you got rid of the other people that had took a liking to her.

You only wanted her to be the one with you.

And it worked.

After all the things you did, you confessed and she accepted your feelings.

She doesn't know of the devious things you had to do in order to get rid of the rivals.

You tried to act normal around her, let her know of the obsessive feelings you had for her.

You don't want to scare your beloved away.

Whenever you got jealous, you had to keep it a minimum to make sure, Osana doesn't get scared.

Your jealousy was a scary thing and it was something you didn't want Osana to ever find out.

You respected Osana's boundaries, you didn't want to over cross it and make her uncomfortable and hate you for it.

Gods know what you'll do if she ever hates you.

Its something you ever don't want to happen, ever.

Whatever Osana wants, you'll make sure she'll get.

You know everything about her after all, what kind of girlfriend you were if you didn't know what your precious girlfriend likes and wants?

You'll make sure no one come across you two, even if you murder a few people in the background.

[the-fictive-haven]

Smol update for anyone who likes our art/remembers that this was originally our system's art blog (lol): We will be doing more art! More fanart, more art of systemmates, and whatever else we might feel like doing, we WILL be doing it.

The tablet we ordered is on its way, finally, after a loooot of jumping through hoops because of technical issues. It'll take us a bit to get used to drawing with entirely new hardware + software but once we get the hang of it we're doing a lot of art dammit!

... That being said would anyone be interested if we started trying to do commissions? (More info/rambling below the break)

Mostly geared towards plurals, nonhumans, etc. Because I feel like sometimes you just want to see a good artistic representation of yourself (or your headmates), but it can be hard to find people who just Don't Give A Fuck (/pos) about why you are who or what you are.

Like. If someone's willing to compensate us fairly for our time, we could not care LESS if they're a furry or a fictive from a 'problematic' source or part of an endogenic system or whatever else, fuck yeah we'll do our best. I think it'd be so affirming to a lot of people/beings and just love the idea of making someone's day with our art.

[fictionkinfessions]

I miss Annabeth so much it physically pains me. She was one of my best friends, even after we broke up (we were not a good pair, easier to admit that now than it was in the past); I relied so much on her for… gods, nearly everything that sometimes I have to sit down and ask myself “what would she do? What advice would she give me?” and sometimes that… doesn’t make it better. I’ve been here for over a decade at this point and haven’t been able to find her, which has got to be some sick prank played on me by the gods. I’ll keep trying, of course, I’ll never stop looking for here, but it gets so unbearably hard sometimes.

Same with Grover, I miss that goat so much. I try to be more eco-friendly and conscious on what I give and take from nature for him. I know it’s small, but some part of me thinks he’d be happy to know I took all his rants and raves to heart, that I listened and really took in what he was saying; not a lot of people wanted to do that, but he was usually right. He was my other bestfriend, carried me and had my back through so much that it’s baffling to think I haven’t spoken to him once in this life. I reread our source and have to shake off tears because of how much I miss him at times, as embarrassing as it is to admit that.

It’s been harder with the live action and all the news surrounding that, especially because of how much Leah and Aryan look like them, sound like them, act like them— I mean, they’ve got their mannerisms down almost perfectly. Wherever they both are, I hope they’re okay. I hope life is treating them kindly and they’re able to do things they wanted to before but either never got around to or were unable to. I hope they’re happy. I hope they know I miss them, that still love them with every inch of my watery being, and that I’ll never stop waiting for them to come home. — Percy Jackson (fictive) (#🔱☀️)

x

[just-paradox-things]

I've been informed that this social media account is used sometimes to document happenings in the "System," as it's called. This doesn't seem like the most secure place to keep one's writings, where anyone can see them, so I'll try not to keep myself from being too revealing in my entries. I do tend to prattle on in my writings, though. I'll try to post an update every time I'm at the forefront, or when the, um. "Muse" strikes, if you'll forgive the turn of phrase.

I seem to find myself in a rather strange predicament. I've only just gotten here, and I've learned quite a lot in a very short span of time. My presence seems worrisome to the inhabitants of this peculiar environment. I have asked as many questions as I am comfortable with. They've directed me kindly to this blog. A very sincere thank you to them! I am grateful.

In this universe, I am widely regarded as a figure in fiction. A character in a children's cartoon, to be exact. I've gathered that I'm not necessarily actually myself, but a reconstruction, though this is rather hard for me to wrap my mind around. I mean, imagine transporting somewhere you've never been before and being told you're only a clone! I suppose it is a relief that Stanley won't be on his own, at least. He doesn't deserve any more lonely years, and God knows I spent enough time in solitude myself to know how hard it can be on someone.

I have found I can glean some pre-existing knowledge that didn't belong to me before. I am a construct in the mind of someone with "Disassociative Identity Disorder" (DID,) a sort of rebranded version of what we used to call "Multiple Personality Disorder." Psychiatry was never really my field of choice, but I knew a thing or two. Now, it's like a new repository of knowledge! When a person with DID chooses to organize themselves they may call themselves and their cohabitants a "system." Their fellow constructs may go by a number of names depending on personal preference. "Alters," or "headmates," or "sysmates." Because I'm a reconstruction of a character in fiction (in this universe, anyhow,) I'm regarded as what is called a "fictive." Reconstructions of "real people" are called "factives" and those that are created from scratch within the mind are "brainmades." Fascinating!

My "host" (simultaneously in the terms you might use for a carrier, the head of a household that you're a guest in, as well as the term for the person who "drives" the most often-- I do love some good wordplay!) is a young man named Louis, who abbreviates to Lou among his friends and also goes by the names Dirk. For reasons I don't yet entirely understand, and so I will not try to figure out here. He has been very kind to me thus far, and even seems excited to have me here. Though, he seems a bit tired. I suppose that makes sense. There are 30 some-odd people in here like me. That must be a lot to manage!

He mentioned me as a byproduct of a hyperfixation. I hope I stick around past that! This is a fascinating experience.

[pharaohbean]

mafuyu and toya (platonic) !!! they arw besties idk how they met but i heavily relate to mafuyu and my friend is a toya fictive so.

anyways yeah mafuyu and toya both have autism and a bit of alexithymia aka not being able to recognize or understand feelings.

mafu and toya both being transmasc

they play roblox together lolol, sometimes ena joins too

actually idk many headcanons but they are besties and i will die on this hill

THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY BESTIES YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

autism and alexithymia hcs accepted. i did not know the latter existed until today but that. that is PERFECT.

transmasc buddies.... toya transitioned when he was younger (harumichi was totally fine with toya being a guy and not with him quitting classical and you will PRY THAT FROM ME) and so he helps mafuyu transition too!

they are either the most calm roblox players ever or win at everything. honestly hard to tell. also ena joining is hilarious /pos

i love these,,,, thank you!!

[littlecourse]

im gonna be real with yall theres no inherent difference between being a fictive and being fictionkin in a system. im not saying that there is no difference at all between fictionkin and fictive, because the subcultures (fictionkin spaces+ fictive-centered system spaces) have their own trends and folks without community overlap,

but the only reasons i see people separating them as concepts so strongly is to avoid the “trading card culture” common in kin-for-fun circles and to try and get people to understand that their identity is important to them or is static/their only source of identity (or vice versa, that they would be reduced if seen as only their source)

but you know. bookending is common in fictive spaces too. otherkin can also have important and/or static identities or a fictionkin identity that’s their only source of self, and fictives can have unimportant and/or fluid sources and identity outside of their source(s)

the overlap is fine imo, it’s the lack of respect for normal divergent evolution associated with no longer being in your source’s situations and the dehumanization of “you are nothing more than a fictional character to me” in bookending/“trading card culture”

…as well as the lack of acknowledgement that static and important connections to fictionhood exist and that it’s not necessarily good to force separation on someone who’s often like that for a reason and needs to grow/change at a healthy pace

like. to get “i am in a system with a dissociative disorder that has goals around healing from that” for a moment, i think people so often assume the identity-shared-with-a-fictional-character part of being a fictive is the dissociative part targeted by healthy source separation, and not the mental separation from your current life and body, and the pressure to stay static and “perform” your source’s identity

im a dave strider fictive/kin and i got into rap music because it was something i enjoyed in my source. when i tried it in my current life, i realized that i still love rap actually and half my playlist is rap based. i still use a lot of post-irony and apathy to get by in life. i still think vulture culture is cool as fuck. i still call myself dave despite (de)transitioning. i love and seek out homestuck related material/media

but shit man. im in a completely different situation from my source and ive changed as a result of it. i use a lot more punctuation now because im not “dave strider from homestuck” anymore and its hard sometimes but i gotta remind myself that i dont have to stay like that. i dont have to try and “out-dave” other daves like i did when i first formed because we’re just different people all (originally) named dave with similar issues and interests, instead of one “real dave” with a bunch of fakes

that and also i can see myself as both the white haired, red eyed girl i am in-system while also seeing my body (and it is my body now, not “the” body, and not even “our” body^), a brown haired, brown eyed white man as me. i would recognize myself in the mirror in either forms. im working on loving and connecting to my body as it is and not as it “should” be

^ (im not saying my body is mine and belongs to nobody else in my system, im saying that for us, everyone in my system (including me) using “my” for my body, my life, and my system, is the next step to getting closer to each other and the life we fought so hard to live)

[systastic]

hello darling <3 one would like to request a level 4 nilou fictive if possible! the only thing one would like to specify is she/her & lesbian, otherwise everything is creators choice.

hello blue text anon~ nilou is so pretty!! i hope mew enjoy fleur -🍥

gonna flesh her a lot out cus her personality ingame kinda sucks. no offense -🐝

name :: nilou, padisarah, ćeline, lilah, leila, adrienne (ari or adri as a nickname), haniya, naira, calypso, seriyah, alara, or anahita

age :: 21 to 23

pronouns :: she/her && sometimes fleur/fleurs or fae/feyr

roles :: reliever, pacific, curacormate, dear, obsonātor, social pleaser

species :: human performer

gender identity :: viscarian (the flower), myosotian (gender), musigender, genderconcerto, tambougender (first def.)

orientation :: lesbian, sapphic

source :: genshin impact

aesthetic :: bloomcore, spring, dreamy, ethereal

appearance description :: haniya is rather short, clocking in at around five feet and three inches tall. she has red-brown hair that stops just shy of her thighs, and often wears fancy dresses or outfits that look good during her dances. closed-toed shoes are rather uncomfortable and rarely fit properly due to her feet being a touch too small for her body, so she opts for sandals instead. ćeline has had abnormally short hamstrings from birth. she works hard to keep her physique and ability to move intact; this is why she dances so often, to help remain flexible and mobile. even still, fleur is somewhat chubby: the muscle she has built up from years upon years of dancing has given her a lithe yet muscular frame, and seriyah’a love of pudding has placed some chub on top. leila has a cane that she uses on days when she has pushed herself too hard; the shooting pain of walking makes it a struggle to move, even with having worked so hard. these days, her use of a cane is rare — but the chance of it happening is never quite zero.

personality description :: adrienne is a normal girl: she is sweet to her friends, kind to strangers, and harbors a deep love for dance. she is seen as the quiet girl among the dance troupe who is eager to help. those in the troupe who have problems often come to her for solutions or mediating arguments. more than this, though, naira is outspoken. what she views as misdeeds are never let off lightly; she confronts those responsible, admonishing them for their crimes and urging them to “do better next time”. she is keen to giving people second chances — but if that second chance is used up, alara will not give them a third. creativity blooms from her every movement. whether it be dance, embroidery, watercolor, or cooking, naira will do it to the fullest. minor mistakes of her own or her friends (ink smears, accidental color leaking, et cetera) are not taken too serious. there is always a chance to try again.

likes :: kind souls, cute animals such as kitties, bunnies, and puppies, her specialty pudding (other types of pudding are also good), ballet, classical music, leg strength training, wide open flower fields, embroidery, the inteyvat flower, lotus flowers, creating flower crowns or flower centerpieces, mentoring and teaching other people to dance, decorating her cane with fresh flower garlands, picnics in nature, and spending time with her close friends.

dislikes :: bastardization of any culture, hard rock, punk, or pop music, those who assume her whole personality is dancing, those who think she’s “fragile”, assumptions of ability, the rampant ableism in the dance world, those who mock others who are trying to improve and succeed, those who assume art is “easy” and that they could do it themselves (it is not easy for everyone; art is an expression of the soul. to claim it easy or that you could do the same undermines the original meaning of the piece and the work that was put into it). she has argued with other troupe members over this before.

front triggers :: classical music, dance lessons, soft and sweet piano compositions, watching ballet, and going to an art gallery

signoff :: ⚜️ or 🩰 (no others really match…)

mood board :: can be found here

songs for you :: merry go round of life from howl’s moving castle, le cygne by camille saint-saëns, clair de lune by claude debussy, the mercy of the wind by million eyes, return to versailles by joshua kyan aalampour, ballerina by yehezkel raz

kins :: the sugar plum fairy from the nutcracker, odette from swan lake, ondine from ondine

typing quirk? :: spaces out her words . . . nothing is ever too close together . avoids capital letters , does not use adverbs or contractions very often , and has a flowery way of speaking . manner of speech is comparable to purple prose .

image source here!

[the-queer-collectivee]

Little rant ~

being a fictive is so odd sometimes. Thankfully I love my source and I don't really care about source seperation, but it's hard being a fictive and never being taken seriously.

Whenever I make a post on tiktok all the fans or kins of my source character somehow find their way onto my vents and it's always hurtful. I feel like fictives dont get enough respect as their own alters and it shows.

[holdmytesseract]

It's Okay To Be Scared [EoH]

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader feat. Teddy Dixon

Summary: A 'slumber party' ends in a distaster for you and your son. Can Daryl save you two?

Warnings: usual twd stuff, walkers, weapons, angst, panic? fluff! Daryl being an amazing dad, age gap

Set in Season 4!

Word Count: 2,5k

a/n: Here we go! 😄 This just randomly popped up in my head, when I watched this scene (I think you'll know which scene I mean.). I had to write it, hehe. ☺️ Also, Teddy's the cutest. I love him. 😍

Divider by my lovely friend @fictive-sl0th <3

Tagging: @km-ffluv @stitchintimefan @sweetpeapod @loz-3 @peaches1958 @fictive-sl0th @lou12346789 @bookofsecretjourneys @azanoni @fuseburner @hotgirlsshareaccounts @in-this-minute

Masterlist

"Mommy?" You turned your head at the sound of your five-year-old son's quiet, hesitant voice urging to your ears. "Hey, bud, what's up?" You smiled at the young boy, squatting down to be on an eye-level with him. The bright sun of Georgia shone through the barred windows of the C-Block, dipping the grey hallway in a soft yellow light. The sunrays got caught in the little boy's brown curls, causing them to shimmer. He may have inherited Daryl's hair colour, but not his actual hair. The kid definitely had your soft curls. Your eyes scanned your son's face and body. From his blue-grey eyes, which resembled his father's, over his little snub nose and rosy cheeks, all the way down his slightly too big clothes. His black t-shirt fitted him perfectly, but the jeans vest was definitely too big, just like his tattered and ripped jeans. You had to smile. He looked so much like his dad. Speaking of... "Where did you leave your daddy, huh? I thought you wanted to help him outside, checking the fences?" You wouldn't have let him join his dad, if you weren't aware that the boy was in the safest hands possible. He nodded, but looked at you with a sad and angsty expression. "Y-Yes, but... There were so many m-monsters, I-I got scared." Your expression softened, before you pulled the boy into a hug, "Oh baby..." and kissed his head.

It hadn't been easy for Teddy to understand, that the world was suddenly different now. Dangerous. Scary. He had been still a toddler when the world went to shit, but that didn't make it easier to explain. Why there was so much blood and death. Why there were suddenly scary looking people, who wanted to literally eat him. You and Daryl had a hard time adjusting Teddy to all of this. He had already seen so much. Things a kid should never see, but you couldn't change it. It wasn't in your hands. You never wanted this life for him, but it was how it was now.

Teddy looked up to his dad, of course, saw how Daryl helped the group, got food on the table and so on. His dad was his hero, without a doubt - and he wanted to be just like him. Be just as brave and fearless. The problem? Teddy was, after all still a child - and got scared very easily. Something he inherited from you. You were just the same, especially as a child and quite often even today. Some might say Teddy was a bit all bark and no bite - what you thought was quite cute. It was okay for him to be a child. He had to grow up into a man soon enough...

"You know that it's okay to be scared, yes? Always remember that, because being scared helps us sometimes. It's important." Teddy cuddled closer against your chest, both little arms wrapped tightly around you. "I-I know, but daddy's never scared..." You backed up from the hug, shaking your head. "Oh he is, Teddy. He's very good at hiding it." You said, running your hand through his long hair. It reached almost his shoulders by now. You could've cut it, of course, but Teddy looked way too sweet with longer hair. The boy nodded, although visibly not entirely convinced by your words and shuffled his feet nervously. "What was it you wanted to ask me, sweetie?" You decided to change the topic, distracting your son's mind from the walkers. It seemed to do the trick. Teddy smiled softly. "Can I stay at Nick's cell tonight?" Nick - one of the Woodbury kids and now Teddy's best friend. "Of course, bud. Does Nick's mama know?" Again, the boy nodded. "Uh.Huh... Nick said he's goin' to tell her." "Perfect." You smiled at him and stood up again. "Now go out play, while the sun's still out. I saw Patrick and Carl playing soccer outside. Maybe you can join, huh?" Teddy nodded, but tugged nervously on the red bandana around his neck, which his daddy had gifted him. There was something else occupying his mind. You could tell. "Is there something else, sweetie?" Once more he nodded, blue-grey eyes meeting yours again. "Can you, uh, stay with me tonight, mommy?" "At Nick's?" "Uh.Huh..." You smiled softly, tucking a few wild curls behind his ear. "I thought you are such a big boy already?" "Y-Yes, but... Please mommy..." Teddy looked at you with big, pleading eyes - and suddenly, you had a guess. "Are you having nightmares again?" The little boy nodded, grimacing, in order to suppress his tears. He tried so hard to be strong. "Oh no, I'm so sorry. Come here, baby." You opened your arms for Teddy again. An offer he took gladly. You lifted him up in your arms, not caring that he got pretty heavy for you to lift meanwhile. A few silent tears wetted your t-shirt. Teddy was plagued by nightmares almost regularly. He always had a hard time sleeping peacefully, but since the death took over the world, it became even harder for him - which was understandably. And whenever he woke up at night, afraid and crying from another nightmare, the only way to help Teddy was his dad. When Daryl wasn't here, you tried to help your son as well, but nobody was as helpful as his daddy.

"I'm coming with you tonight, okay?" Another nod. Teddy wasn't a child of many words - just like another important man in your life was. His small tear-stained cheeks glistened in the sun, causing your heart to ache. You knew exactly what you had to do now. "C'mon." You adjusted him on your arms, before you left the C-Block and made your way through the corridors out on the yard, eyes searching for your husband. Luckily, you found him pretty quick. He was preparing for the run he was about to go on, with Sasha, Glenn, Tyreese, Bob, Zack and Michonne. Daryl saw you approaching him, of course and was immediately alerted, since you were carrying Teddy. He wiped his dirty hands on a rug, stood up and met you on your way. "Hey, babe." Daryl looked at you and his boy, concerned. "Wha' happened?" "Nightmares," you mouthed, which was enough information for Daryl. He didn't need to know more. He placed a hand on the boy's back. "Hey, buddy, c'mere." Teddy didn't let himself tell that twice, unlocked his arms from around your neck and wrapped them around his father's, clinging to him for dear life. You gave Daryl a sorrow look, causing him to lean over to you and place a quick kiss on your cheek, "I got it." before he turned around and walked away with Teddy in his arms. Guess the run had to wait...

"Alright, baby, I'm going now, okay?" Daryl nodded from where he laid in the bed of the cell your small family shared, hands crossed behind his head. "Ya really wanna leave me alone tonight?" He almost pouted, causing you to giggle softly. Teddy wasn't your only child sometimes. "You know that Teddy asked me to, but you can join if you want." He scoffed at your words. "Nah, wouldn't wanna interrupt your girl's night." You giggled again and stepped over to him, in order to kiss him. "Love you." "Love ya, too." "Sleep tight, see you tomorrow." Daryl nodded, pulling you in for another kiss. "See ya." You grabbed your things, blew him a kiss and left the cell, tiptoeing down the dark corridors to cell block D. Little did you know, that staying with Teddy that night in the D-block was going to end in a disaster. A deathly disaster.

That night, you slept way too tight, to hear the soft snarling and growling of the polite and kind young man Patrick had once been, nor the heavy, slurping footsteps which passed the empty cell you were sleeping in, right beside the cell Teddy was sleeping in with Nick and Anne - his mom. You were completely exposed to the threat, lurking in the shadows of the night - but you didn't know it. Nobody knew it.

Daryl had been up quite early that day, just like Rick and Carl. He had just slipped into his beige shirt with the torn off sleeves, as he heard a loud noise ringing through the corridors, causing everyone which was still asleep to wake up - without a doubt. He furrowed his brows. It sounded like a... gunshot! Without hesitation, the archer grabbed his crossbow and stormed out of the cell, just like several others. Carol for example. "What was that?!" "Sounded like a gunshot." "Where from?!" Just after the words had left Carol's mouth, another gunshot was echoing through the walls. The answer of Carol's question was quickly answered, causing the man's eyes to widen and heart to run a hundred miles per hour. The D-Block. It came, without a doubt from the D-Block. "It comes from the D-Block." Daryl breathed out, before he started to run like a mad man, straight towards the block; Carol following him.

The scene he walked into wasn't one he hadn't seen before and yet it scared the shit out of him, because he knew that his wife and son were somewhere in the middle of it... There was blood everywhere. Dead and bitten men and women laid on the floor. The still living people ran around in panic, trying to flee from the walkers, which were trying to get another bite out of the people. There were screams and cries everywhere. "Shit!" The archer cursed, his mind immediately wandering to you and Teddy. He desperately hoped that the both of you were alright. Without wasting another second, he threw himself into the fray, killing every walker on his way. "Teddy! Y/N!" He screamed out, eyes frantically scanning his surroundings. It wasn't easy to overlook this chaos. "Daryl!" He heard Rick shouting at him. "I got it!" Signalling him, that he had the door situation under control. Not that Daryl cared about this in that moment. All he cared about was you and his son. Nevertheless, he gave Rick a short, hasty nod, before he continued his search.

"Teddy! Y/N!" He screamed from the top of his lungs through the loud noise. "Daddy!" Daryl heard a child scream out - his child. He would recognise Teddy's voice everywhere. "Teddy!" He yelled again, looking around to find him and point out where the voice was coming from. To his sheer luck he found him - just in time. The boy sat on the ground, crouched into a corner, crying, with a walker stumbling straight into his direction. Daryl's eyes widened in shock, but nevertheless he reacted fast, ran over and rammed his knife in the back of the walker's head, carelessly throwing the dead body aside. "Teddy!" The archer fell to his knees in front of his son, pulling his small, trembling body immediately close to his. "Are you okay?!" Daryl's eyes scanned Teddy's body for any bites or injuries. The small boy nodded, yes, and clung to his father, still crying. Daryl held him close to his body with his free arm, standing up again. "Teddy, where's your momma?!" "I-I dunno." Cried Teddy. Once again, Daryl looked around frantically, still not able to find you - but he found Carol. "Carol!" His best friend turned to face him. "Can ya take Teddy somewhere safe? I-I gotta find Y/N!" Carol nodded, of course, took the boy immediately in her arms. "You go with aunt Carol, okay? I'll go, find momma." Teddy cried even more, but let himself got carried out of danger from Carol. It broke Daryl's heart to leave his son like that, but he had to find you. "Y/N!" He ran to check the cells, killing another walker on his way. Remembering, that Nick's and Anne's cell was on the second floor, he was quick to run up the stairs, checking the upper cells as well. "Y/N!" "Daryl?!" He heard your voice calling out immediately, causing relief to wash over him. You were alive. He found you locked up in a cell, with a dead walker to your feet and another one in front of the barred door, trying to get its filthy hands on you. Daryl was quick to get disposed of the walker and opening the cell door with shaky hands. "Daryl!" You cried out, running into his arms. You were utterly rattled, covered in blood. "You okay, sunshine?!" Daryl asked you, strong arms keeping you close to his body. "Y-Yes, b-but I lost Teddy. I-I don't know where he is!" You cried, sobbing into your husband's shirt. "W-What if he's dead! Oh g-gods!" You felt how your knees gave in, but Daryl caught you. He immediately shook his head, trying to comfort you. "Hey, hey, hey, Y/N, stay with me, 's alright. I found him. He's alright. He's with Carol." "O-Our baby's o-okay?" "Yes, sunshine. He's safe. Teddy's safe." "O-Oh thank g-god... I-I was so afraid of him, b-but I couldn't leave to search for him. T-This walker had me trapped a-and- oh gods..." "Shh, shhh, it's okay, 'm here." Daryl's calming voice urged to your ears, despite the loud noise. "We gotta get you outta here." He said, before hoisting you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style down the corridor, the stair and past Rick. "You got this?!" Rick nodded. Glenn had joined the chaos as well in the meantime. "We got it! Look after your family!" Daryl gave Rick a thankful nod, before he left the horrendous scene and took you back to the C-Block.

The archer laid you down on the bed in your shared cell, before he called out for his friend. "Carol?" No minute later, she approached with a still shaking Teddy in her arms. "Did you find her?" Daryl nodded, taking Teddy back in his arms. "Thank god. She alright?" "Yeah, jus' quite rattled." Carol nodded in understanding. "I'll go, take care of the other survivors." "Thanks." "No need to thank me," she said, giving Daryl a small smile, before she left.

"Daddy... Where's mommy?" His son asked, voice trembling. "She's here, buddy. She's okay. We are all okay, alright? Everything's goin' ta be fine." His words seemed to calm down the boy a bit, but not as much as being back in his mother's embrace. Daryl stayed with you and Teddy for a long while, even after the boy had passed out from all the exhaustion, sleeping tightly. Hopefully without having nightmares...

Now Daryl sat behind you on the bed, while you leaned against his chest, hands intertwined. "What happened?" The archer asked in a quiet voice, eyes trained on the sleeping Teddy. You shrugged your shoulders. "I don't know, honestly. I was sleeping and suddenly I heard those screams. I got up quickly, looked outside - and there were walkers everywhere. People we knew, suddenly turned. Then everything became chaotic. I tried to react and look for Teddy, but then there were those two walkers..." You said, shaking your head at the vivid memory. "Do you know what happened? What caused this? Did Rick say something?" "Not yet, but we're gonna find out."

[joyful-enchantress]

Hi, friends! 👋🏻

So, I’ve been a good bit less active on here recently, as you might have noticed, and I wanted to address it.

I’ve been struggling lately with motivation, attention span, and focus. Sometimes there is sadness, too, but not always. I am not exactly sure what is the cause, but I definitely notice these symptoms.

As you might imagine, these struggles have impacted me at work, but I’m managing it and forcing myself to get my work done and meet deadlines because I’ve got to. But by the time I make it through work, I’m mentally exhausted most days. And I don’t have the energy, attention, or focus to do things like write, edit, or even read.

This has led to a lot of my interactions being more surface level; I’ve seldom been doing much more than scrolling and lurking.

This is all to say that I’m still here! And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not giving a lot of you and your wonderful art the attention it deserves. I’m sorry if I haven’t responded in a timely manner to a comment, ask, or reblog. I’m working my way through them, I promise.

And this is also to say that I love you all and I hope you know that, even if I’m slightly less active, or active in a different way ❤️

I know I have lots and lots of fics to catch up on, and I do intend to do my best to do so. I’m taking a step back (for now) from writing, though, unless inspiration strikes particularly hard. I have a novel by @youlightmeupfinn to edit and I want to use the time and mental space I have for that.

Thank you for being such a wonderful community of awesome people 🥰

All my love,

Stephanie xx

@lokisgoodgirl @sarahscribbles @muddyorbs @infinitystoner @fictive-sl0th @coldnique @mochie85 @springdandelixn @ladyofthestayingpower @give-me-a-moose @cake-writes @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @loopsisloops @gigglingtigger @simplyholl @anonymousfiction211 ++anyone and everyone else! ❤️

[je-suis-problematique]

Heyo fellow DID havers and systems in general!

Hello hello and welcome and hi. This blog has been up for A While now but we never really had the balls to interact with fellow systems before aaaand long story short I'm changing that now (I blame the medicine that I'm currently on because I am more than a little bit Zooted, LMAO). Basically if you're a DID-centric blog or just someone who's plural do you mind interacting with this post and maybe possibly also sliding into our DMs? We've been DYING to meet other systems and at least TRY to make some new friends. Some information about us/our blog just so there won't be any misunderstandings:

Please read our pinned post before interacting. If we're not your cup of tea we don't care that you block us and move on, we just wanted to be completely open and honest about ourselves and some of our stances before trying to befriend other people. No hard feelings there!

We prefer not to interact with minors for personal reasons, it just makes us extremely uncomfortable. Nothing against you if you're a minor of course, it's just a personal preference like I said. Sorry!

We post extremely dark themes on our blog and most of it is just our own way to process our own trauma but we understand that it can be a deal-breaker for some. Sorry again!

I know it's already listed on our pinned post but we're EXTREMELY fictive-heavy and we also date internally, if either of those things gives you the ick then we'd rather you didn't interact with us at all. We're okay with being blocked without prior interaction, you do what you need to do to keep yourself safe, yeah? Again, no hard feelings there!

We sometimes post extremely personal shit about sensitive topics OR we can go into graphic detail about certain subjects, please keep that in mind.

Our blog is our own and we post what we feel like posting regardless of whether or not it can be considered cringe. If our personal experiences are cringe to you then I'd rather we didn't interact in the first place (unless you don't mind the cringe and then welcome aboard the cringe ship LMAO).

We are looking specifically for professionally diagnosed DID systems OR people who are in the questioning phase. No need to recite the DSM-V to us we know it by heart already LOL, all we ask for is that you subscribe to the idea that DID is and always has been borne of severe trauma and that natural systems are a phenomenon that is questionable at best. Every system is different but there is a list of basic criteria one must fit into to be diagnosed as plural. LARPing as your favorite characters doesn't count.

If we end up vibing with each other well then you're absolutely free to ask for our personal Discord! We'd love to have more friends we could talk to who understand the struggles of living with DID and all of its complexities and co-morbid disorders. We've been feeling incredibly isolated as of late and wanted to expand our social circle with people we can relate to and vice versa. I promise we don't bite! Most of us are really friendly or at least know when to tone down on the cynicism, haha.

Looking forward to meeting you all!❤️

– Kovacs

[quoigenicfromhell]

a few days ago we went on that whole rant about our (non-bodily) memories and trauma and what it means for us specifically, connection to bodily memories and trauma etc etc and like. I don't want to say that your post about exomemories and connection (or speculation of connection) with bodily memories was About Me Specifically because I'm not the center of your world it was just. incredibly timed? possibly inspired? I don't know <- it's schizotypal brain time

either way just Needed To Clarify that my post was about my system specifically and I won't act like I speak for all plurals ever + I'd love to know how you all live your memories be it bodily or not actually because I can only think of my own memories as... related to our bodily memories somehow so I'd love to know how different plurals think about it and you're one of my Favourites <3

@/ seaside wanderers (trying not to get out main too involved in sys stuff and things .....)

I think that was just [redacted] being frustrated at the time about a certain attitude we've seen generally, not necessarily in response to anything specifically lol.

So it's necessary to clarify that we know what our trauma is, we were abused psychologically/emotionally/physically by our father and just generally grew up in a very dysfunctional home and had the bad luck to be born into a southern Baptist family in the Bible belt. Our body memories, that is stuff that happened to our body and shaped our brain and caused our PTSD, doesn't go away when we switch; all of us, regardless of whether we were actually here at the time, will be triggered by things relating to it. Yaaaay lack of dissociative barriers, now we all get to have flashbacks :)

Our specific memories though are more cognitive than bodily felt. There are things we absolutely know did not happen to us. Plus, a lot of that individual, not-here trauma and memory is related to/reflected by fictional media, for our fictives. It didn't happen to this brain or body, so it doesn't hit as hard when we think about it--most of the time. When we're in public around other people we have just a little bit of dissociation happening because we want to appear consistent to outside people, so we feel detached from our personal memories in order to maintain that illusion. But if we're particularly grounded and present, things like our own individual trauma can hit harder if we think about them too much. It still isn't as connected to the body as much, although sometimes the two can play off each other and make the reaction worse. It's very rare for someone to have a PTSD flashback from one of their individual memories, but it has happened a few times.

Note 1: there is a sweet spot between 'dissociated because we're masking in public' and 'dissociating because we're experiencing a trauma reaction from getting too in our own feelings' where we feel like we're calm and individually present and feel most like ourselves. We can be a bit of a dissociated zombie when we're trying to present ourselves as a consistent single person, but it's also not great to go digging so deep in your own memories you hit on personal trauma. One thing we'd like from an open-minded therapist is someone to work through these issues with, because at the end of the day even if they didn't impact our brain at a structural level, we're still affected by them and there aren't a lot of people we can be honest with this stuff about. Individual not-here memories are too weird for singlets to understand, let alone trauma.

[lavender-hero]

Rant about Fictive Stuff. (Not /neg)

Lately, I see so much of the "i'm different from my source self" from different fictives/fictional introjects when I follow them or search tags, and I guess I feel weird sometimes because I'm sometimes told and just realize that I'm so similar to Hero?

It's hard to, you know, differentiate myself from my source self or source in general, I think about it so often and just feel such a connection to it all. I wish it wasn't that way, and that I wasn't so mentally ill about it all. I wish I wouldn't think so much about what feels like my old life, my old friends, everything... but see, those things never existed at all, they only existed in our brain. I try not to think about it all, but they feel like home. (This is not to say that I don't also have a home here, I have people and places I love to be (with.))

I also worry people will think I'm faking and just "roleplaying" because I'm too similar to Hero. And I get it. I get how it could seem that way to some people, but it isn't that way at all.

What I'm saying is, being part of a system is just really weird sometimes? -- Every fictive and their systems in general can split off so differently. There are those of us with a connection to source, and those of us who aren't attached to it at all, but it just feels so odd when you see so much of one thing. I guess I just had to ramble about it a little, because there is so much STRESS that goes with being similar to your source character, too. I am often in some level of distress about it all! Thankfully less than a few months ago.

But I wouldn't change anything because I have met a lot of wonderful people (systems and singlets) through OMORI, and I just wouldn't be the same without it? I mean, you know why.

[kincord-billboard]

General TMNT Kin Server!

Mod Bell here wit hanother kin server for you!

Welcome to the sewers! We are a network for kins or fictives from any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles media! Anything in the franchise is allowed.

Here are our rules:

1. Don't be a dick. Bigotry will not be tolerated. I don't want to see any aphobes, biphobes, panphobes, transphobes, racists, terfs.. nothin like that. Keep your shitty self out of my chat.

2. If someone asks you to stop doing something stop it then. Related to that, listen to mods when they tell you something.

3. We're double friendly, villain friendly, and in the case of systems endogenic friendly. I don't care why you kin or what your system origin is. And honestly if you're gonna give someone shit about that I don't want you in my server.

4. Respect the blacklist and keep blacklisted topics in blacklist-general  For personal reasons I don't want to blacklist drugs and alcohol. SUPER heavy talk should go in the blacklist channels but I don't care if you make jokes or casual mentions of it.

5. If you delete messages please acknowledge that you've done so. It messes with my paranoia.

6. Don't be scared to add or remove things from your blacklist if you need to. In fact it's never a bad plan to reread it, I know I need to sometimes.

7. If the server owner tells you theyre okay with something, or that they want to do something, please don't minimod over them. As said server owner it makes me super uncomfortable, especially since i have a hard time sticking up for myself. (As a reminder any messages that are proxied and end with 🔫🏠🏮  are us.)

8. Please do not immediately call a character or kin abusive or an abuser. it's important that everyone feel welcome here no matter how they identify. Likewise please do not send hate about said characters or threaten violence towards said character in your messages or status. >you CAN talk about a character being abusive in your canon if you need to, just make sure its kept to appropriate channels and you dont harrass kins or fictives of them.

You can join us here (code: 82nsE8zAgQ) or if that link doesn’t work, message me here!

Have a lovely day <3

[manylittleguys]

To any SCP-4231-A kins/introjects/fictives/links/etc:

I wanna start this by saying I'm writing this for me, Francis, Apollo, and Ukulele, not for any of you. We were never given closure, so now we're taking it by force. If this helps any of y'all? Great! If it doesn't? Well, it wasn't meant to.

I don't regret loving you, Lilly. Sure, you hurt Francis in ways the four of us will NEVER heal from. And I do blame you, because you did do that to him. But I will admit I can also see, now, with the perspective of other headmates who weren't there for it all, that there were things we could have done better. I'd say we were only human, but I know now that humanity is a choice you make and I'm not going to make that choice for you. We were young. We didn't know any better. We were each others' first for a lot of things. We were in our early twenties, we were reality benders, we were inexperienced. I don't blame you for making mistakes (although I do blame you for making them over and over again once you learned their consequences).

But I don't regret being your friend, and I don't regret loving you. You gave me Meri. Because of you I became one of those very same Jailors you so despised. I went from a Destroyer to a Jailor. And you know what? I might even be glad you did it all. Because becoming a Jailor was one of the best things to happen to me. I met my husband and my fiance and my partners because I was a Jailor. I met some of my closest friends because I was a Jailor. I met a guy who accidentally turned himself into a dog, a guy who spontaneously generated apple seeds, a guy who somehow always narrowly avoided death, and a lady who toyed with deadly viruses and bacteria (often anomalous) like legos to make tentacle creatures because she thought they were neat.

And I remember some nice times with you too. I remember how you helped me learn how to control what I always called my "disability" but you called our "powers". I remember playing in the creek with you, when there was no one around and our teeth were sharp and our eyes were many and our horns and antlers caught on the low-hanging tree branches and our hooves didn't help us at all in the rocky waters. I remember my mom doing her best to homeschool us because she didn't want us in public schools, and I remember neither of us could sit still very long because we wanted to be anywhere except my kitchen table sitting on wobbly chairs solving math problems in notebooks my mom had painstakingly printed for us in pen. I remember a treehouse in the middle of the forest and teaching my best friend to play ukulele, even though she was terrible at it. Because yeah, I never said it, but you were horrible with my ukulele.

I remember hiding from you in the forest because I accidentally told you that I felt more like a boy sometimes, and I remember holding your hand so tightly when we went and told my mom. I remember the three of us crying together because I should never have had to feel so afraid of my own mother, and I remember making cookies later because "bravery like yours should always be rewarded, Fran." I remember sitting up late into the night looking through baby name books we borrowed from the library so I could pick a new name. I remember when I decided I wanted it to be Francis, because it was a pretty name and it sounded so much like the old one that it wouldn't be hard to get used to the switch. I remember going to the first doctor's appointment and mom yelling at the doctors that "my son is perfectly fine! He just needs help with liking his body! A seven year old should get to love his body as much as any adult!"

I miss that. I miss the time before I slept with my legs crossed, where I was afraid to come home from weeks away at work with the GOC with the Ichabod Campaign. I miss the time before I would wake up in the middle of the night crying silently, covered in seemingly fresh bruises, coughing up blood. I miss the time before it felt like I couldn't remember anything but my childhood and that house with you, when I could never remember what I did for work. I miss the time before it felt like I couldn't remember anything but my childhood and blood and guns and the GOC. I miss the time before I was afraid of being asked to tell the truth. I miss the days before I dreaded going to sleep to the point it became hard to sleep at night.

Lilly, I hope you can see the extent of what you did to me. If you have an apology, I'll accept that you've given it, but I can't promise I'll forgive you. I can't promise that Francis or Apollo will either. I doubt that Ukulele will forgive you. If you have an explanation to give us, I'll also listen to that, but I can't promise more than that either. Regardless, I think you should know that I regret that Ukulele killed you, in the end. Apollo, and to a lesser extent Francis, had hoped that maybe, when Meri was born, it would finally stop and we could be happy again. But we also knew that the Ichabod Campaign was on it's way and we wouldn't let them have Meri.

Alto