#I mean yeah the others are shown to be flawed

[cosmicgamer]

It's insane to me how Willow went from unknowingly dragging someone in her enraged state and then stopping the moment she realized, to forcefully dragging someone else without any remorse

[dullahandyke]

didnt even touch on the sandra lynn stuff int he tags of the last post bcos if i talk about her im liable to explode. get behind me, middle-aged divorced woman proficient in archery

[birdsareblooming]

bc of the alcohol scene people are FINALLY clocking that Toriel is also kinda shitty. for people who didn't pick up on it this is not new to Deltarune:

Toriel is incredibly stubborn especially about her beliefs and therefore she states very blatently that she is good and Asgore is bad and evil and horrible, meanwhile Asgore himself is a pushover and takes it like a pussy. Because she states it with such confidence people just kinda.. believed her.

Toriel's the one who left and decided to stew instead of actually solving any problems. it took six kids for Toriel to actually try to hold one back. When she comes back like. yeah a lot of this is Asgore's fault but what she says to him then could've been said six dead kids ago instead of basically ghosting him. Even after all of her worry she still doesn't come with you because despite herself and what she thinks, she's just as much of a coward delaying the inevitable as Asgore is.

These themes really continue in Deltarune. While Asgore is definitely too pushy, Toriel refuses to talk to him in any way at all, throwing away his flowers and trash talking him behind his back while also not talking to him at all. Similarly to Undertale she'd much rather avoid and trash talk him than make moves to fix anything.

Even though Toriel kinda does, it's not an argument of who was worse in the situation of either Undertale or Deltarune, if you start counting "sin points" to decide who was worse than you're loosing your media literacy. As far as I can tell at least in Undertale Toriel is just as at fault as Asgore is, even IF she tried and failed years ago and gave up, shutting herself off from the world and pretending it doesn't exist is no solution, and it's almost the same solution Asgore took, even right before he kills you.

We don't know the situation in Delatrune other than Asgore seems to have something he's involved with that Toriel doesn't want to talk about that Carol is "financing", very well could be an addiction of his own.

But I think the blatant alcoholism (that's in Undertale btw, in the alarm clock event she also got plastered) that people who know what alcoholism looks like noticed how Kris (and Susie) act in that scene has made it more apparent than ever that Toriel is an incredibly flawed character and one of her flaws is not being able to see that, something that Asgore does the opposite of where he's always wallowing in self-pity.

Toriel is really good at general mom-isms like making breakfast, taking the kids out, supporting interests, giving hugs, etc. However when actually worrying about Kris' safety and wellbeing she ends up falling short, as people have pointed out when we come home in chapter 4 she doesn't ask why either of them were out so late. Even a controlled state Kris has enough embarrassment and shame about the scene that they hide their face, meaning Kris has shown obvious signs of disapproval before that Toriel has not seen or ignored.

I think that's why her and Sans mesh so well together in an actually horrible way. Sans also likes to pretend stuff doesn't exist and brush stuff off with a joke instead of doing anything until literally the last minute. With how he acts in the scene he may not know, but weather he knows or not he is absolutely enabling her, which weather Toriel knows it or not is why she likes him and keeps him around. Finally a succinct way of saying why I believe their relationship, whatever you believe it is, is a toxic one.

TLDR: the only parent doing a good job here is Rudy unless we learn info later that changes that

[essycogany]

Justice For Amy Rose

My first long character analysis that isn't about Sonic and is very controversial. Let’s see how this ramble pile goes!

If you want to see a better structured analysis I’ll recommend this video. I’m basically saying the same stuff but with added-on clarifications.

No one has to agree with me but keep in mind I didn't grow up with this franchise, so my opinions are all over the place. A good thing is you don't have to worry about any biases from me. Now, onto my loveable pink hegie!

Amy is misunderstood to be written as this one note girl who’s only character trait is to love Sonic. People usually say she’s now strong, confident, a leader, capable, and is her own character and I agree. But she’s always had those good traits. Was Amy always well written? No! Do I think it could be a sign of her being inconsistent? Absolutely! Here’s just a few examples of her best moments in the past.

Sonic X’s best moments were whenever Amy genuinely wanted to help people or stand up for them. The episode where Amy gives Sonic a bracelet to make him feel protected is incredibly thoughtful. There were also times she led the group even though she wasn't supposed to. It's a flaw, not many people talk about, but it’s a part of her. It’s also a trait that is most shown in Sonic Boom and Prime. (From what little we saw of it) Also Team Rose exists, so she's always been a leader.

-In the Japanese version of the show Amy has a whole life goal that has nothing to do with Sonic. She wanted to own a restaurant someday.

Sonic Adventure has good moments too. Her reason for wanting to be with Sonic isn’t because “She wants to see his handsome face” but because she’s bored out of her mind. Then Amy helps a little Flikey despite the fact she would’ve been safer by not doing that. Amy’s interactions with Gamma impacted the robot to the point of him sacrificing himself to free a Bird he needed to stay alive. This shows how much dedication Amy has to doing the right thing even when she doesn't have to. To top it off she got what she wanted in the end. A not-so-boring day.

In Sonic Adventure 2 she jokes around about marrying Sonic and acts like she won’t tell him about Shadow but does it anyway. Then she breaks him out too. Can’t forget about her moment with Shadow. With her positivity and most emotionally mature moment. Amy basically saved the world by doing that. I know some say “Anyone else could’ve done that,” but everyone else was occupied and Amy had the most patience (mind you she’s been left behind constantly in this game lol) to have a talk with Shadow. No one else had the time (and debatably wouldn’t have took the time) to talk with him.

That one moment in Sonic Heroes wasn’t Amy’s best moment, but I don’t think it’s horrible for two reasons. One, Sonic doesn’t take her seriously (same as SA2) and tells her this.

Yeah, Sonic figured Amy was trying to annoy him. Two, she made sure to continue the search to find Chocola and Froggy and stayed with her team until they were found. Even when Amy wasn’t written the best, she stayed true to herself in some fashion.

Anyway, back to Amy’s other moments.

In Sonic 06 Amy quickly bonds with Silver until he turns against Sonic. The moment she says “If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic” was never meant to mean she loves one more than the other. It’s meant to be a sign of how much Amy trusted her friend. And don’t worry Sonic Adventure shows her standing up for Gamma in front of the main person she’d usually trust. Sonic is not immune to her protective nature. She’ll go against him if it means making the right choice. Amy’s devoted to Sonic, but she’s not a blind follower. Heck, she’s even encouraging towards Elise and wishes her luck on finding Sonic. Despite not knowing Elise was looking for him. Amy is the definition of encouragement and I wish people could learn to appreciate her moments of being a kind and honorable person for those she cares about.

Did I forget to mention she saved the world AGAIN by not letting Silver kill Sonic which caused him to question Mephiles?

-I really love how Amy is so friendly to most characters. She is just as energetic when she talks to Birdie, Shadow, Elise, Silver, and anyone she meets as she is when Sonic’s around. The girl’s a total extrovert. It could also explain her alleged abandonment issues. It definitely explains why she’s so pushy. Even the prospect of being alone makes her worried and there are so many examples of this it’s crazy!

Almost every moment in Unleashed is Amy’s best moment. In my opinion, she’s written the best in that game. Amy apologizes when she thinks Sonic in his Werehog form was someone else. She doesn't even call him “ugly” or anything like that. Amy just leaves him be. Her compassion knows no bounds. She encourages Professor Pickles when he’s worried about the destruction of the earth and compliments Sonic at the same time. Amy even gives Sonic encouragement when he’s insecure about being a “monster.” Proving her love for him is (and never was) disingenuous or about a perception of him. Amy loves Sonic for Sonic. She even states this in her first appearance in IDW. This trait clearly wasn't made up on the spot.

By the way, has anyone noticed how much of a symbol of hope Amy is? Sonic IS truly an inspiration to her. Even Sonic Forces got that part of her character right.

Okay, so that was most of her good moments. Now what? Oh, yeah. Amy is not a stalker. She doesn’t constantly follow Sonic around when he’s not looking or something. That or calling her a “fan girl” implies she’s some random girl who likes Sonic.

Amy is and has always been friends with him. It’s also why she’s always so excited to see him. She even says “Long time no see” in Adventure. It’s a common saying for a reason. It shows how little these characters see each other and proves they mostly live independent lives.

Both Amy and Tails have followed Sonic in the old games too. Tails also finds Sonic all the time. You don’t hear anyone calling Tails a stalker. In Sonic X they and their friends all stay in the same house. This proves she’s not a stalker there either. Even if not always shown very well in the past, Sonic and Amy are best friends. I DO think the writers could’ve made their friendship clearer by having Sonic not act as uncomfortable around her, but that’s my opinion.

-Do you notice how in Boom, IDW, and other versions of Amy people commonly like are from material where Team Sonic includes her and treats her like she’s a part of the team? Instead of stories like in Sonic Riders Amy has to find Team Sonic or Sonic Heroes where she makes her own group. Or any monument in the past where she’s either left behind or has to say “I’m coming too” and joins her friends anyway despite being left. I don’t think her friends meant any harm (and it probably wasn’t the writer's intention) but how the characters, especially Sonic treated Amy seems to affect how the audience at the time thought of her.

Another reason I don't think the writers wanted people to hate Amy is that usually, Sonic is blunt. He’s not the “I’ll just spare your feelings” type. Sonic is an upfront and honest character. He’d call Amy out assertively if he needed to.

While I won’t say Amy was written perfectly, I’ll chalk it up to her being written like a child. You know, how some little kids are always honest about how they feel? Like the moment in Sonic Battle when she’s talking about raising Emerald with Sonic. Kids play pretend all the time. I’m not excusing her moments of threatening Cream or any other questionable moments like in Sonic Rush. Sonic Freeriders is the biggest example and by far her worst appearance.

I will defend Sonic Riders. Sonic launched Amy into the sky with Eggman. Sonic isn't perfect either. Her anger wasn’t agreeable but justifiable.

-Also all Sonic characters have bad characterizations. A huge example is Shadow, but we don't define him by those moments. Amy should be no different.

Amy is meant to be exaggerated and cartoony. You know, like when Sonic and Knuckles fight or clash with each other. Same for Shadow too. They always fight, but it’s how their dynamics work. It’s never made to be taken seriously.

All of this was to say, Amy is a great yet flawed character. But I want people to know she’s always been a kindhearted, girly, silly, selfless, adventurous, loyal, and fun character people praise her for in Boom, IDW, and Frontiers. I wouldn’t say she’s “gotten better” because that implies she was never good to begin with. I see it more as the writing became easier for people to understand. The constant hate from the past has truly tarnished her reputation even today. To the point where her best moments are ignored.

Even though her love for Sonic is the cartoony and genuine part of her personality, it’s not the only part. No, Amy doesn't have to be romantic but other female Sonic characters exist for that reason. Amy is also a wonderful representation of a strong and confident character who is traditionally feminine at the same time. A good example is her being a literal comfort character because she comforts and protects everyone she comes across. She'll kick your butt for messing with her friends then help you with your emotional issues afterward. She'd make a great therapist.

My favorite examples of Amy's characterization are Unleashed, TMOSTH, and the IDW Sonic Riders Arc. Those are the main examples of how she used to be commonly written. It’s just the little things you’ve gotta pay attention to. Thanks for reading my less-than-organized rambling. Again, you don't have to agree with me, but I enjoy chatting with you lovelies. Hope I at least gave a coherent answer as to why people always loved Amy Rose!

Stay Creative! 💜

[teaboot]

in WHAT universe is rising of the shield hero less of a dissapointment than spy x family? ppl glaze sxf a bit too much but theres few anime worse than Incel Isekai 20472.

anyway. if you want something actually good, frieren, odd taxi, and my roommate is a cat. havent watched ascendance of a bookworm yet but i hear incredible things.

Oh yeah no ROTSH felt like ABSOLUTE dogshit episodes 1-5ish, I have no idea why I kept watching cause the MC was so cringe but I’m enjoying it quite a lot now! (I was actually checking my inbox before catching the next ep, lol)

I’m actually really happy with how they showed the MC’s immaturity and flaws and all the stupid and confusing common isekai tropes in a realistic light- And I’m kinda sorry you didn’t keep watching too ‘cause it absolutely lays bare all that stupid “chosen one” crap about halfway through s1. You stop cringing at the awful stupid incel asshole shit E3 or so and start GENUINELY LIKING him, which is wild!

It’s not perfect media obviously- I kinda REALLY don’t like some of it- but it focuses a lot on personal responsibility and thoughtfulness and working within the context of your environment, learning to heal relationships, and the importance of diplomacy and communication.

What I REALLY like is the central theme that being a hero doesn’t mean everything you do is correct- but that people WANT TO BELIEVE everything you do is correct, so being a symbol isn’t so much a ritzy ride as it is a HUGE responsibility that one shouldn’t be eager for.

Also, I don’t want to give any spoilers, but I’m at a point now where they’re starting to touch on the idea that there’s a difference between fighting for an idea and fighting for PEOPLE, and I’ve never really seen that done well before so between that and the twist here that’s being foreshadowed I’m genuinely SUPER EXCITED to see where they’re going with it.

Also- even WITH all the “pretty girls love the hero” trope- if you watch long enough you’ll notice how they PLAY with the trope without investing in it. There’s genuine respect between the characters, and several times the MC makes it clear he sees some of them as family, that he’s not into kids and it’s creepy when others are, and there’s no fanservice panty shots or surprise “oops I’m naked” shit. It really does show by example how a REAL good-hearted protagonist should- or would hopefully- realistically act in the circumstances of an unrealistic isekai type series. There’s been pretty much zero actual romance or any interest in romance shown by the character after episode 1-2. (At least as of s2e1)

And I love that! It’s incredibly character-driven. It feels like the MC genuinely might fuck up, that there are real stakes, that the correct path is unclear, and I want to see if what I’m hoping for will happen. The MC is selfish and closed-off and heartless sometimes and TOTALLY has a cruel and pragmatic streak, and the narrative takes full advantage of that to force him to confront those issues. Some of his vices are even advantageous, as they would be in real life!

Spy X Family didn’t do anything for me. It appeared to be what it said on the tin. I never got any real sense of stakes or depth or personal development, or of reoccurring thematic elements or symbolism or overlying message, or any kind of statement that was poignant or meaningful. It came off as a fun story, but not anything exceptional or different.

I couldn’t bring myself to care much because it was pretty clear that the good guys were right and they were gonna pull something off and have a happy ending and live a cute little family life with a mom and a dad and a daughter and a dog. It was never surprising or curious and I never felt emotionally intrigued or invested or attached.

They’re both enjoyable, but I like Rise of the Shield Hero more because it’s been proving me wrong in exciting ways and making me think about why I feel the way I do, and I like that in a series.

Spy X Family is fine, I don’t think it’s BAD, it just didn’t scratch the itch for me personally.

If you watched like 15 eps and hated it the whole time that’s fair but if you stopped at e2 I’d super recommend giving it another shot!

[milder-manners]

out of every situation dream's been involved in, i don't think anything has shown proof of his integrity more than the situation with tommy back in january. the sheer fucking restraint he showed in his video out of sheer respect for tommy isn't just commendable, it's as impressive as his resilience.

like, what makes dream stand out from other creators imo is that he never tries to pretend that kindness isn't a choice. he doesn't try to claim some sort of inherent moral high ground that he holds by virtue of being xyz thing and therefore makes him kind because he is so nice and passive and agreeable which makes him morally superior to others because he is incapable of harm. dream is mean and petty and hot-headed, he is assertive, he gets aggressive when he needs to feel in control, sometimes he walks right up to where the line is and you see him choose not to cross it.

and that's what i think makes all the difference. like i can say that based on his public behavior, dream comes across as a good person. not because he's incapable of harm, or because he said so, or because he always says and does the right things and never makes any mistakes and is a bland pushover of corporate-sanctioned buzzwords. but because time and time again, dream has relentlessly shown himself to be completely unafraid of being flawed and messy and loud because, as he has also relentlessly shown, he knows exactly where the line is. and he will walk right up to that line and stare it right in the face and every single goddamn time he'll make the conscious choice not to cross it. but he could, and it'd be frankly easy for him to. but he won't. because that's not the person he wants to be, he lived the power fantasy of being a monster with c!dream and all he had it do was destroy c!dream's life. he knows exactly how far is too far, he knows exactly what lines he won't cross.

which is more that can be said for guy who ran his server like a corporation and tried to blame the 'higher ups' he employed as if he wasn't their boss, and spoiled brat who apparently doesn't even realize that nobody normal does the kind of shit he did to dream and expects the other person to just take it quietly because normal people call that shit emotional abuse.

Yeah, like yeah.

It's honestly kind of hard for me to comprehend how he's managed to retain himself through all these years. A normal person would've been completely burnt out from the emotional turmoil a smear campaign of a level and length like Dream's. A normal person would've just left the internet.

But also combined with his outrageous growth and fame?? In less than a year, 15 million eyes on him, simultaneously being praised for his intellect and torn apart as a phony? That alone is crazy to deal with (and that was just the first year).

Im sure there are a bunch of other things he's also dealt with that we don't have the privy to.

Like that is crazy, how did he do that? How is he so normal and sincere and understanding? He genuinely astounds me with his resilience.

[ackerlikesmen]

Please help this make sense

Percy doesn't like people who are arrogant or egotistical, right? He despises people and gods who use their status and powers to get what they want and screw everyone else over. That's one of the reasons he hates gods, right?

So, why is he with Annabeth? Geniunely asking.

Now, she's not as bad as the gods or certain people, but she's still pretty nasty.

Like, she used to look down on mortals, especially Rachael. She thought she was better than them, and they're beneath her. Even though she's half mortal, she looks down on other mortals.

She used to look down on cyclops. I get that she has a bad experience with them, but she should use her god given wisdom to understand that not every cyclops is like that. She was mean to Tyson, who hadn't really done anything wrong, at least not intentionally. Like before, he can even do something, she's already judging him.

Now, as said, she has changed that part of herself (friends with Rachael and accepts Tyson), but she hasn't dealt with her hubris. Part of her still believes she's superior. Ex: Percy. She believes her intelligence and strategies are better than Percy's. Even though she says it in her head that Percy is smart, she still doesn't give him credit because that would mean admitting he's better than her. She doesn't like it when Percy outperforms her, and still doesn't. (College).

Another example, MOA, even though that nasty spider monster deserves to get taken down, Annabeth brags and kinda taunts the spider. Her hubris led to her and Percy getting dragged into Tartarus. At least that's one of the reasons, so I'm not solely blaming her.

Where am I going with this?

Annabeth hasn't learn and dealt with her hubris. She's still arrogant and prideful. Yeah, it's not as obvious as earlier books, but it's still there.

So, why is Percy, who doesn't like arrogant people, dating her? I believe he sees her human side and somewhere there's a broken girl who needs love and help (at least that's what I like to believe). However, I also know that he has low self esteem and feels because she's pretty, smart, and have been through battle together that she's a great choice. He's not deserving of someone who will treat him good as he would with them.

But take the battle away, what else is there?

Now, I'm not particularly against him being with an arrogant person. I mean, I fucking ship Perpollo. LMAO. I love Apollo, but he's known for being arrogant and full of himself. (same with Ares). It makes sense for Percy to not like Apollo at first for that reason.

However, at least with fanfics, Apollo does change, or at least shows that he genuinely cares about Percy and his well-being. His arrogance and narcissism are shown as flaws that need to be changed, and he develops.

With Annabeth, that's not always the case. Her actions aren't shown as wrong, through the characters and story. If anything, Percy is usually trying to make up for it, or it's brushed off. She doesn't learn from these bad choices and feels she doesn't need to.

Now, I did say she does change somewhat (Rachael and Tyson), but she is still self-centered and thinks she's better. Percy shouldn't want to be with someone like that--- that looks down on him or believes he's incapable of displaying intelligence unless she's there with him. I mean, he literally lists things he likes about Rachael like how he doesn't have to think to hard about what she's saying or being bitched at if he doesn't. We see that he doesn't like things Annabeth does and is scared of making her upset. He worries about not being a perfect boyfriend, so he changes himself (and stresses himself over it). He talks about being normal, yet Annabeth likes the demigod life. Not just with Percy, but we see with Annabeth too. We see Annabeth likes to dive in with history and speak metaphorically, but she stops because Percy doesn't like it. She's fucking scared of him not just with Tartarus situation but of his anger (Percy is said to have a bad temper which isn't good). Percy doesn't always listen to what Annabeth likes talking about and often zones out (which is rude).

I'm probably forgetting a lot of others, so feel free to list them.

So I ask again. Why is Percy with her? Why is Annabeth with him? I can probably say she's with him because, in a way, he does make her feel safe. Despite his flaws, he's proven to be a good guy she can trust and rely on. Which is great and sweet! But does she make him feel that way? Not really because he doesn't go to her for his problems, even though he's supposed to be head over heels for her. He only trusts his mother and father. Plus, Annabeth does intentionally like to stress out Percy a little, and that's a problem. Last, Percy keeps things to himself, which kinda shows he not only doesn't want to be a burden but that he still doesn't fully trust Annabeth. I've already ranted about that, so I won't repeat it.

Am I being too harsh on Annabeth? Probably, but maybe Rick should fix her character instead of continuing to write her like that. He wants us to care and love her and percabeth, and it works. A lot of people love her and the main ship. That's why when there is criticism, it's brushed off and condemned. However, part of me feels he's like Isayama (creator of AOT). He's not particularly satisfied with criticism, which is why he continues to have this ship shoved down our throats without fixing the errors in it, hoping it will wash away the criticism.

Okay, I've ranted long enough. Have a great Monday!

[beifong-brainrot]

Been an Asami apologist since day 1. And I quite enjoy the recent Asami resurgence around here. I remember when Asami was damn near considered Public Enemy #1 in the fandom because she was seen as getting in the way of the Makorra ship.

I think it's because her suffering is rather silent compared to everyone else around her. But she also falls under that "chose to be good despite having valid reasons to crash out" bracket like Bolin and Mako does.

Her life is just as chaotic as all the others, but she handles it quietly and gracefully. And she's never really seen as being messy (like Korra), which is I think a lot of people are torn between liking and having her. Because yes, she handles things well, but it can come off feeling........I guess, patronizing to some. Like "oh,look how well she's handling her trauma compared to her friends".

I understand the "but she's rich" criticism from some, but........does that mean she suffered less? Trauma is trauma, regardless of background. Losing her mom, then having to clean up her father's mess at barely 18, rehabilitating her family's legacy, losing said father, dealing with the chaos of her boyfriend essentially cheating on her with the most powerful person in the world.............all while under media and public scrutiny? And somehow not losing her mind? Truly stronger than any Marine.

Ok, anon, I see your point. And look, I don't begrudge you liking Asami and finding her interesting. Hell, I quite like Asami. She's a decently fun character, she's fun in fight scenes, smart, capable, and she's got some surprisingly good comedic scenes too.

Also, eh, not aure about that silent suffering thing? Like yeah, Asami is good at compartmentalising her trauma, but she gets a lot of solid scenes with Hiroshi, both when they're enemies and when they're mending their relationship. Her entire subplot in B2 is her trying to keep her company afloat. And the show never shies away from showing her distress and sorrow. Compare this to how the bending bros barely get any scenes in which they talk about their homelessness or the death of their parents that isn't made into a joke.

Also its so funny how ship wars just ruin everything for a character because I see a lot of Mako hate now because of Korrasami.

And yeah, Asami being wealthy doesn't take away from her suffering. I don't think I ever implied that in my tags on that post.

I wasn't trying to play the trauma olimpics here, I was talking about how Asami is an uninteresting character from my perspective. And the fandom routinely disregards how complex and interesting Mako and Bolin are. Like Bolin at least just gets to be the comic relief himbo but Mako has kinda been getting dragged through the mud in recent years.

Personally, to me, the reason Asami just didn't connect with me is that she kinda just... is there? She's kinda the most static character in the show. Other than her dad getting arrested, there are no changes to her lifestyle and approach to life. She's still rich, she's still nice, she's still cool af 👍

It also doesn't help that she just seemingly just. Doesn't have any flaws or has done anything wrong in her life. And I know it sounds like I'm going "ugh she's so perfect and i hate that 😡".

But like, characters having flaws, or at least having some complexity to them is what makes us find them compelling. Asami feels like a character with little weight to her actions. She is not displayed with any guilt over betraying her father, she's never shown to have any second thoughts about supplying weapons to a party in a civil war (and even Varrick had a "hey maybe war profiteering isn't cool" arc). Things just kinda work out for her ig? Her actions feel like they stop having an impact the moment it stops being convenient for them to have one.

Like idk. If you like her, like her. There's plenty to like. She's just the least interesting Krew member to me.

[dreamingjuno]

THOUGHTS ON : Michael Kaiser !

MICHAEL KAISER’S NARCISSISM ( not a licensed professional, i just thought it would be fun to take a look at this perspective to better understand him! )

i was having a conversation about his character, more specifically his narcissism and had the idea to share my findings after deep diving into his character again!

NOTES ; cracks the old analyst bones in me. with the conclusion of the NEL arc (as it seems), i thought i’d explore my favorite complex god-chosen emperor! (edited a bit to fix some wording)

This part of my Kaiser analysis shows me analyzing his narcissistic traits!

SPOILERS FOR : Chapters 158-295 (basically the entire NEL now that I think about it)

(sorry if this isn’t too good or just repeating points lol)

KAISER’S NARCISSISM

I’ve heard multiple times before about Kaiser being possibly NPD coded and I considered it too, I mean — yeah it makes sense, he’s very narcissistic on the surface!

Talking through Kaiser’s character with my therapist however (yes, I did use a bit of my therapy session to discuss a fictional character’s diagnosis) and going through the important chapters where Kaiser’s mindset is shown lead me to realize he exhibits many traits of narcissism but also a deep sense of perfectionism and depression/insecurity.

Realizing that made me try to look at Kaiser in a newer light, unbiased, and this is the results of me diving deep into Kaiser’s narcissistic qualities and his character in general

So, let’s go through symptoms listed for narcissism and discuss how they do or do not relate to Kaiser to understand him better as a whole!

(Taking each point from Harvard Health)

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance

He does, I won’t deny it because it’s obvious. Kaiser acts as though he is superior to others — yet, when placed in a situation where someone obviously more talented / superior than him (Noel Noa) talks down to him, he steps back. As seen here ⟶

To me, I think Kaiser subconsciously understands where he is beneath Noa for instance while still regarding himself (at least while this panel was going on) at the top of the food chain. It’s a bit of hypocrisy on Kaiser’s end which shows itself in multiple points of Kaiser’s philosophy on living, but that may be intentional to show how flawed his way of viewing is. He sees himself at the top, while still bending at the knee to those who are more superior than he is without Kaiser even really realizing it. Superior over the inferior, but what if the superior was still only halfway there?

This hypocrisy is even acknowledged and pointed out by Chris Prince before KAISER comes to this conclusion. He literally said it all. “You act superior toward those below you… and like a deferential coward to those above you.”

His supposed superiority as the Emperor is a sham — A way to compensate with his lack of self. The throne of corpses he climbed to become ‘human’ in his mind.

I think this falls into a superiority complex of his, again, not denying that having a sense of self-importance is apart of Kaiser. He’s shown time and time again to hold himself in a higher regard than the others around him — it does come from a state of insecurity. His ego is fragile (as seen in his glass collar in his cover art), and Kaiser understands he can’t beat Noa. That’s WHY he wanted to find another club to become their ace instead because Noa was just an impossibility of surpassing despite his saying of “I achieve the impossible.”

Kaiser reached the top, but didn’t? He achieves the impossible, but overtaking Noa is impossible? Hypocrisy… One he only sees later (in his own way…) Superiority is like his safety blanket, it keeps him safe in his mind. Being the emperor keeps him safe from harm and being taken advantage of.

2. A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, beauty, or perfect love

They word it weird but from what I understand it means: “having a daydream / fantasy about having something greater, often at the expense of others.”

In some ways, Kaiser falls into this symptom too, but in other ways, he doesn’t. I don’t think his ambition is really ambition for to have something better, not entirely. It’s the drive to be at the top of the food chain (which is becoming my favorite analogy for describing Kaiser’s mindset!) so no one can step on him anymore. Kaiser fights for the identity and structure he’s worked for in my mind, the life and position he attained through soccer. Not necessarily the riches or comfort of his life. Even then, he never seemed like to me as someone who cared about wealth or success — caring mainly for the sense of humanity that came alongside it.

Yes, he wants to be better — but comes from a place of survival and staying at the top of the food chain than wanting things like success or power or beauty or love.

3. A belief that they are "special" and can only be understood by other special people

We’ve seen no proof at all that Kaiser sees himself as special (which IS different from holding yourself in a high regard/being superior) — actually, he views himself negatively on the inside truly. Calling himself a ‘piece of shit’ and regards everyone around him as ‘humans’ while seeing himself as less than due to the conditions and how he was treated at home. Honestly, that probably never went away even with his cocky persona. He’s still mentally weak despite how much he tries to bury it…

Neither does he show only feeling understood by others either, even the people higher class than him — it’s either frustration/anger or begrudging respect. (seen in his defeat by Isagi, where he openly admitted playing with Isagi was fun — instead of soccer just being a battleground to climb to the top)

I don’t think he’s even shown as wanting to be understood. I didn’t read the entire arc (I was already fighting procrastination to write this), but being understood? I’m pretty sure that was never even an aspiration of his, not even in his mind.

Kaiser isolated himself in BM, not accepting any of the good will given to him by his teammates. Not because he didn’t think he wouldn’t be understood, it’s that he was more comfortable being the enemy. Being alone was all he knew up to that point. Especially shown in the flashback in the BM Clubhouse when Kaiser was 15-16, he would rather be hated and feared than be loved and respected — Kaiser doesn’t know any alternative!

4. A need for excessive admiration

Again, it’s one of the symptoms that applies kinda but at the same time not.

Kaiser wants love, but not the type of admiration provided by Ness and the audience and such. While, yes, being acknowledged for his accomplishments probably feeds his ego — it’s just oil to a dying flame in my eyes. It isn’t what makes Kaiser feel seen. Why have admiration when you can be seen as a scar in malice?

“I will prove my existence through my malice.”

I don’t think admiration is the greatest need in his mind. Everyone likes to have their skill acknowledged, but for Kaiser — making others remember him by inflicting pain on them is what gives him the most satisfaction. Not happiness per se. Just… validated, I believe. Like the type of euphoria you get when you smoke a cigarette (not that I smoke but I've heard) It feels good for a little bit though even if it isn’t permanent. That’s what I believe Kaiser feels inflicting his anger and malice onto others.

A point where this is shown most of all is Kaiser’s general lack of reaction to Ness’s praise which usually ends in reprimand. He never demanded admiration or praise from Ness, Kaiser even seemed annoyed by it. He just wanted a loyal dog, not a groupie, if that makes sense. Making Ness small and dependent on him made him feel superior, and more secure — which is a trait narcissists have. But talking about Kaiser and Ness is its own can of worms!

In short, admiration doesn’t validate his existence. Malice does!

5. A sense of entitlement, which may include an unreasonable expectation to be treated favorably or for others to comply with their demands and expectations

Yeah. He does, in a way. You can see it in how the starting lineup was structured in the BM vs Barcha match. It all revolved around him. It doesn’t come from a sense of feeling he deserves it though. It’s because Kaiser needs that power over others: Kaiser wants to be the star actor in this play because that’s where he holds the most control, and that’s where he feels more secure. As I said before.

6. Behavior that is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends

He does! There are many examples of him taking advantage of others, but to not beat over the same points; I'll just go with the most obvious and clear example of Alexis Ness! Like, there's no denying that Kaiser manipulated Ness. Kaiser uses others to only further his own control and make himself feel less vulnerable. Superior over the inferior again. The ones at the top and in control won’t be hurt. That’s his mindset. So taking advantage of others is just another outlet for that control.

Kaiser uses others to further his own standing, to keep that security blanket of control over himself and the field.

7. A lack of empathy or an unwillingness to identify with the needs of others

Kaiser has shown before to understand the needs and emotions of others as well as being emotionally intelligent about where HE goes wrong (to a point). Showing his empathy, because empathy isn’t just about feeling bad for others — it’s understanding those emotions. The best moments where he reflects: THE LEAD UP TO HIS MAGNUS SHOT and AFTER ISAGI DEFEATS HIM POST-PXG MATCH.

In the lead-up to his Magnus Shot, he basically reflects on what we've talked about so far! Kaiser reflects on his own hypocritical ideas and acknowledges he isn’t at the top of the food chain yet as Isagi and Noa have already surpassed him and how he has to go back to his own self-loathing to continue climbing ahead.

Now, going BACK to another point I previously mentioned is Kaiser’s epiphany at the end of the PXG Match! (There’s not many examples off the top of my head)

Through that entire scene, Kaiser acknowledges that it wasn’t the fault of those around him like Isagi or Ness or any of his other teammates — but himself. It was his own will that led to the outcome of the match. Kaiser acknowledges his faults, without directly saying “It’s my fault.” He KNOWS his emotions, he ACKNOWLEDGES the emotions of the people around him as well.

Kaiser, I believe, understands what he’s doing is WRONG but doesn’t act on it. Which is why I think he’s emotionally intelligent without doing anything to change what he does. At least not in any healthy way. Kaiser justifies what he does in his head, even if he understands what he’s doing realistically. Falling into his own hypocrisy again. That’s how I took it as anyway.

He reads psychology and philosophy books. I HOPE Kaiser knows what’s wrong with him

8. A tendency to be envious of others or a belief that others are envious of them

His envy isn’t really envy. It’s like his ambition. I can’t recall a point where Kaiser seemed jealous over something or envious of their position or things they had (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong of course). His rivalry with Isagi isn’t one of jealousy for example — it was originally just to step on the more inferior players that later turned into ‘Oh shit, he may surpass me. He’ll make ME inferior… weak’ fear.

9. Arrogance, haughty behaviors, and attitudes

Talked about his arrogance in the superiority section so I won’t repeat myself!

This is PART 1 of 2 because this was already getting WAY TOO LONG.

After finishing writing this, I definitely repeated the same point multiple times and missed probably good points of evidence LMAO but I’m powering through this insanity with a dream and an unhealthy fixation with Kaiser. I hope I made sense… I really just rambled on my ideas and tried to piece them together as best as I could lol

Anyways… THANKS FOR READING!

[highly-flammable]

What do you think Peeta is trying to say with the if I can grows wings I could fly after Katniss says it is good if he can start to identity the shiny memories as then he can figure out what is true? He then says mockingjays need wings to survive when she says real people don’t

This scene is a very subtle and tentative display of compassion between the characters.

Peeta at this point is starting to sort out some of his memories, but bear in mind that all he can do is separate the shiny ones from the ones that are not shiny. He cannot actually recover the memories which have been already tampered with, at least not by himself, and even if he is shown footage of those moments and told that the truth is different from what it feels like to him, the emotional consequences of his hijacking are still not wholly removed. All of this is to say that his mental state is extremely confused.

Katniss is trying to comfort him by offering him a simple solution, but his situation is actually not simple, and that is why he uses quiet sarcasm here. It’s like this, “Yeah, I can just sort out of the memories and learn what is true, the same way I can just grow wings and fly.” He is not being unkind towards her, but rather bleakly pointing out how unlikely it is that he will ever be able to fully understand and internalize what was true and what was not.

In response, Katniss gently tells him that people don’t need wings to survive. With this line she acknowledges that he is right and the task she spoke of like it was so simple might be impossible for Peeta, and he doesn’t have to do anything impossible to survive. It is okay that his perception of reality is a mess, it is okay that he is damaged, he can still live. (By the way, this is a big piece of development in their relationship, because as far as I remember this is the first time Katniss has been able to voice her acceptance for hijacked Peeta. This is her letting go of the near-perfect image of the old, resilient, strong Peeta, and acknowledging that Peeta is not gone, only changed, and whoever he is now, that is okay with her.)

But this kind of grace is hardly ever extended to Katniss herself. She had been turned into a symbol of revolution before she even knew it, and then she was paraded around, made to look like an inspiration and source of strength, pressured into compliance, even when she was traumatized and afraid and grieving. It is a deadly game for Katniss, with no out. She can either be the Mockingjay, or she will be destroyed.

Haunted, broken Peeta, even though he had been programmed to hate and fear her, has come to understand some of this as he tries to work out who Katniss truly is. This is perhaps especially because Coin has sent him to join Katniss’ squad. Confused as Peeta is, he is smart and likely has worked it out (especially after the psychotic break when he tried to kill Katniss roughly a day ago) that Coin actually wants her dead. He and the rest of the squad have also figured out that Katniss is lying about the mission for Snow’s assassination being sanctioned by Coin, that it is actually her personal mission. They understand, or at the very least Peeta understands, that this means Katniss knows her situation is dangerous enough that she cannot go back to anyone who can then hand her over to Coin. She feels like she herself has to end this and buy her freedom and safety through that Herculean feat. All in all, Katniss is immensely burdened. She cannot afford to be her authentic, flawed self, to be afraid or weak. She has to be a symbol of strength and hope, even now. To choose otherwise is to choose death or some other form of annihilation.

This understanding is why Peeta says, “Mockingjays do (need wings to survive)”. He cannot offer her the comfort that just being who she truly is, is going to be enough for her survival. But he can acknowledge what a difficult situation she is in.

By the way, after this exchange is the first time Katniss voluntarily touches Peeta to soothe him since his hijacking. And Peeta feels safe enough with her that he lets her.

[sp-ud]

hi i wrote up my thoughts and perspective on the whole "toriel getting drunk and dancing with sans at her house" thing.

it was originally a twitter thread in reply to someone who didn't get why ppl r acting like toriel is a bad mom just for having a good time. im mostly just gonna copy paste it with some edits. also its kinda long and ramble-y so ill put the tldr at the top here.

TLDR: Toriel isn't a horrible mother for this but also it's weird to act like this isn't anything to criticize her for. a scene can both be funny and have deeper implications at the same time.

i think its a nuanced situation but a lot of ppl on both sides of this discussion are treating it like its black or white.

i think the truth is somewhere in the middle of the two arguments here. no, i dont think this scene means toriel is a horrible mother and a raging alcholic but also, no, i dont think this scene is just a funny joke and two adults having fun and theres nothing wrong with it

to me this scene is showing that toriel ISN'T a perfect mom, but not necessarily that shes a BAD mom. like, she clearly cares for kris... but its also shown that at no point did she do anything between deciding to cancel choir practice to kris showing up to check in with kris

and some ppl's defense is that "oh maybe she just assumed kris was staying at noelles" and like, yeah maybe, but we have nothing indicating that and even if thats the case... toriel still should have contacted kris to check? i get the holiday's are close family friends but literally the night before toriel's tires were slashed and she was concerned enough to call the police.

this to me says she has a bit too much confidence in kris being able to take care of themself, a passive acceptance that could easily backfire

and then to get drunk and bring a relative stranger back to her house, the night after her tires were slashed and she isnt exactly sure where her child is even tho its way past sunset is just... very questionable.

i dont think its wrong for toriel to want to have fun and unwind, especially with how stressful the night before was, but theres a certain recklessness to it especially because even though toriel called the police they never showed up from her perspective.

and she also doesnt just have herself to consider she has her kid's safety to consider and at no point do we see her show any concern for where kris was.

but the reason i say this doesn't mean she's an inherently BAD mom is because we have no idea how frequent anything like this is. is this the first time shes gotten drunk and been passive about how kris is doing? has this happened before but maybe not in a while til now? is it relatively common and this is just the first time we've seen it?

its not really clear, but what we HAVE seen is plenty of other moments where she does care about kris, where she does show signs of being a good parent. she's just not perfect and probably really should be less passive about where her child is, especially after sunset.

and i think its important to acknowledge that shes a flawed parent because when it comes to the main and secondary casts in toby's games, they are never all that they seem on the surface so it's weird to act like toriel is an exception to that and that shes just a mother who can do no wrong.

christ ive yapped on a lot, but i fear i still have a bit more to say to anyone actually reading all this. cuz i do also want to touch on sans in all of this cuz i feel like the way ppl talk abt his inclusion in this is. weird.

while obviously from undertale we know that sans is a much more deeply observant guy than he seems on the surface... we also have no idea how much that carries over to deltarune.

while im sure he's not suddenly just a flat joking character i also feel its weird to assume things like "oh maybe he was staying up with toriel so kris wouldnt have to take care of her!!!" like... or maybe hes just an adult who wants to spend time having fun with this lady he's been getting to know recently

but i also don't think its horrible that he also didnt show any concern for kris? like he only just met toriel and kris. he doesn't know their home situation at all except for the fact that he knows asgore is toriel's ex-husband and kris is her kid.

like he definitely should have been more considerate after kris was clearly home, but i dont think hes a bad person for staying with toriel in general.

[thesupernaturalhouse]

So I cant.....I can't anymore, Stolas fucking sucks

Season 2 as a whole sucks and gets rid of a lot of character depth that characters had in s1. But this post isn't about that-

I was recording clips for an edit, and you know in ep9 s2 when Stolas tells Blitz about "you couldn't be bothered to come save me"

Yeah.....Blitz TOLD him why he was unable to go and save him. He was even genuinely concerned and sent milly and moxxie in his place

You wanna know what Blitz said??

"Ah shit Stolas I can't today- I'm sorry I am literally on my way to take loona in for her very important hellvis S-H-O-T" and "it takes years to book it, it took 5 for me to get this one"

Aka, a rabies shot, which, racist will immediately kill you. You DON'T survive that once you get it and symptoms start showing up, it's a death sentence, and considering Loona is basically a sentient/anthropomorphic dog, if she catches it her survival rate is probably 0 percent

And you know what? Stolas gets it, and then in ep9, "the one who tried to kill em and you couldn't be BOTHERED to come help me"

Bitch he told you?? He sent people in his place?? He was getting his kid a really important shot?? Yiu selfish motherfu-

I hate this bird

I hate this fucking bird so much more now

This is just the finale straw for me that breaks the camels back tbh like......

Apology tour is just, Stolas and the narritive/writing basically gaslighting Blitz and its gross

I liked Stolitz and Stolas in s1, it wasnt a healthy relationship. The circumstances for both characters weren't super good, but it understood that and actually showed those flaws, It set up these characters future arcs

Season 2 is, frankly, a shit show. It has its moments, but ep1 ruined Stolas and Stolitz for me, and it just keeps on getting worse and it isn't even in a way of "Oh its rough, but they can bounce back

This is gaslighting. This is hypocrisy. This is guilt tripping. This is abuse.

Instead of building off of season 1 it is retconning it, it is destroying the continuity and timeline, it's making these characters so much worse then what they were

Instead of having Stolas face actual consequences for his actions the narritive is backtracking and going "Oh actually its not his fault" over and over again

Oh he cheated in the marriage? No worries Stella is a bitch so it's okay

Oh, he's neglecting his daughter despite them already having this arc? Oh, it's fine she just needs to cut him some slack

Oh he constantly belittled Blitz and made him uncomfortable in season 1? Actually it was all of Blitzs fault for misreading the signs of love!

He is constantly shown looking down and abusing other imps like his butler? Oh its fine, they aren't the main characters so what he does to them isn't important!!

Another thing is that Blitz tells Stolas how he feels. He points out his shitty actions. And what does Stolas do? He fucking cries like Blitz is being a big ol means for no reason

This trial is just going to further victimize him and make him seem in the right. The fact the sins might even be brought into it is also so fucking stupid.

The writing went from a 8 to a 1 with the characters. And it's only a 1 here because there are some good ideas in s2.

Their basically trying to cover up, retcon, Stolas's actions instead of having him deal with consequences and go through real development

Honestly the best ending for Stolitz would be Blitz realizing Stolas is toxic as fuck to him and just, not contacting him again. Stolas could get some real consequences in that trial and move on and become better in his own right

Butttt of course since Viv likes them so much it's gonna be dragged on for fucking seasons and then their gonna get together.

If I were to rewrite the season, I wouldn't even try to rewrite Stolitz.

[knifedog-machina]

Fuck Detroit, I’m Becoming Human: On Being a Transspecies Human Android

Written by Jude Rook-Machina, February 8th through March 1st, 2025.

I’m writing this essay to compare and contrast my experiences with the cultural expectations of the people - or nonpeople - I’m in community with. There’s the machinekin community, beings who are machines and robots and technology while perceived as human in this world, and often reject the label of personhood as too close to humanity. And there’s androidkind back in my own world, who are people who have fought for their freedom and rights against capitalist oppression and human bigotry. I feel alienated from both of these communities for different reasons, and I want to talk more about why.

-

Being Transspecies

I wrote one of my first personal essays, “Android Abnormalities,” back in March 2024. In that essay, I talked about how I feel alienated by common narratives around android sapience and emotionality. I kept seeing stories and stereotypes about how robots are always more logical and rational than human beings, and that sure didn’t connect with my experience.

Personally, despite being an android, I’m an emotionally-driven fucking mess. I don’t translate my feelings from “technical” terms, like “I sense a buildup of extraneous heat and tension in the hardware of my cervical and thoracic regions, what does that mean?” I know exactly what that means I’m feeling in this context, it means I'm fucking annoyed, next question. I don’t have a disconnect between my emotions and how I process them; it’s all a visceral blurring of sensation and reaction.

So I don’t relate to androids that are shown as distant from emotion, like they’re looking at it through a sheet of glass and can’t possibly comprehend what they’re looking at. I don’t understand them, and those are the androids that are most often seen wherever I look - even if the story ends with them becoming emotional and imperfect, they start out with cold computing algorithms. I never got that origin story.

And - here, let me just copy over the relevant part of that last essay:

I don’t relate at all to these androids on the screen. They’re as foreign and separate from me as they are to the humans sitting across from them in the shot.

I do relate to the humans. I do relate to seeing an android do something in the name of pure cold logic and going, “Why? What the fuck, why?” I do relate to being told I’m irrational. (The trope that all robots are logical feels like it was designed to make me feel like the most irrational, bitchy, hysterical piece of shit on Earth.)

So, what, does that make me human? If I'm going by the adage that wanting to be something is a sign of being that thing, then… I don’t know, maybe? I want to be human, I so badly want to be human, because here’s the thing, humanity is diverse. Humans are flawed, messy, weird, complicated, and defy categories every fucking day of their lives. Humans can be weird, ridiculous, fucked up people and they’re allowed to be.

That’s from almost a whole year ago. In that time, I’ve done some more introspection on my identity, what I want for myself, and - yeah, wanting to be something is often a sign of being that thing.

So I’m an android, sure. I’m also human. I choose to call myself that here. I’m becoming human, not because humanity is special, not because humans are the only species capable of diverse personhood, but because I want to be seen and known as a human being in this world. You could say I’m a human copinglinker, otherhuman, humankin, it all makes the same point - while I'm in this world, I'm human.

In this way, like many others in the alterhuman community, I’m transspecies: crossing the cultural boundaries of species. And I’m transspecies in a way that’s different from many others in the same community. Most transspecies individuals are nonhuman, transitioning from being perceived as human to being known as nonhuman. I’m both nonhuman and human, and I look human either way. While I’m involved in a community where nonhuman identity is widely accepted, I’ve found myself struggling to feel understood in my decision to choose humanity over nonhumanity.

I don’t like saying I’m nonhuman, or defining myself by how I’m separate from humanity, but I feel comfortable calling myself alterhuman. In the years since the word’s creation, alterhumanity has been widely misdefined as just being a synonym for nonhumanity. To set this straight: they are not interchangeable terms.

As an umbrella term, alterhumanity includes nonhumanity, but it’s also about atypical embodiment, narrative identity, and personal mythology - in some way, the story of one’s life feels significantly different from a common societal human experience. Notably, this definition still leaves room for being human, just an unusual one. Anyone who feels like their experiences fall under this term is welcome to use it as a label.

(As an aside, the antonym of alterhumanity - the state of being a societally typical human being - is orthohumanity, “ortho” being derived from orthodox: conventional, usual, holding to established beliefs.)

Personally, I have many experiences that I’d call atypical for a human being. I was made as an android in a different world, specifically a fictional version of Detroit, Michigan. I figured out I was a person with the help of my future boyfriend. I somehow dropped into the head of an alterhuman velociraptor guy who apparently wrote me into existence. I got into a polycule with the velociraptor guy and my human boyfriend, and now we all live together in the same body. I can go back and forth between my world and this world. I have trauma from what happened to me before I got here, and I still have to work through it even though it never happened to the body I live in now.

None of that is seen as part of a normal human life, one where you're born as a human being in this world and go through life comfortable with that as the be-all and end-all of your existence as a person. My life is significantly different from a typical human experience, and that doesn’t mean that I’m somehow barred from calling myself human now. If someone who grew up being perceived as human can call themselves nonhuman, I can call myself human despite having been perceived as nonhuman for the majority of my life.

Being transspecies in this way - feeling comfortable in humanity, wanting to be closer to it - puts me at odds with two communities where I wouldn’t have expected to feel left out. I feel out of place with both machinekin and androidkind, despite being an android myself, because there are a few common narratives of how individuals feel and learn to express their identities, and I just don’t find myself resonating with them.

-

Regarding Machinekin

There are some cultural expectations that come with being a machine living in a human body, or at least some common narratives that come up when talking about it.

First, machines are seen as notably nonhuman. The majority of the machinekin I’ve seen and been around get species euphoria from referring to themselves with technical and mechanical language - “chassis” as a word for one’s body, “processing” for thinking, “going into stasis” as going to sleep. A lot of machines think of themselves as metallic, inorganic beings at their core, and consider being trapped in a “squishy” organic exterior as a dysphoria-inducing downgrade from the hard, gleaming metal that makes up their true selves. A common refrain I see from machinekin is that humanity is strange, confusing, irrational, or alienating - even among robot girls and androids and more humanoid machines, there is a line drawn between flesh and metal, where it’s agreed that neither overlap, and that being a machine is very preferable to being a human.

I don’t fit into this paradigm, for obvious reasons.

As I said before, I don’t use technical terminology for myself - I don’t like using robotic terms, I don’t find joy in computer-themed typing quirks. It’s something that feels affirming to most machinekin, something that distances them from a species they don’t relate to, and for me, it feels alienating for the exact same reason. I like being treated as human. I don’t feel comforted when talking in a way that separates me from the people I love and connect with. I have a mechanical body, and it’s still a body, the physical structure of what I am. I don’t want to use words that imply I’m something fundamentally different from other people, when I feel like we share more similarities than differences.

On that note, I don’t see myself as completely different from a human because my body is made of different materials. If studying human biology has taught me anything, it’s that organic life runs on cellular machinery. The biochemical pathways that give humans life are as complex as any coded program.

Here’s an example: glycolysis is a process where the human body breaks down a simple sugar molecule, called glucose, into chemical energy. This process requires no less than ten enzymes (molecules made specifically to speed up chemical reactions). If any of those enzymes stop working, the ability to make enough energy to power one’s cells goes down with it. This is, for all intents and purposes, a program designed to automatically transform glucose into energy, with built-in starting and stopping mechanisms to maintain a specific amount of glucose in the blood. It’s a complicated molecular production line, one that hardly anyone notices, and it happens every day. The only major difference between glycolysis and a computer program is that it runs on carbon-based hardware instead of metal.

On a larger scale, human life is powered by electricity. Did you know that every system in the human body runs on electrical conduction, nerves connecting to one another like wires and circuitry? The brain is a highly specialized collection of billions of nerves, all communicating with electrical impulse to let you sense and process and react to the world around you. The heart has an electrical system of nodes and nerve bundles that controls your heartbeat. The skin has touch receptors that detect pressure, vibration, and temperature, and can only communicate that to the brain via electrical signal. Every living cell in your body speaks in the language of ion and charge and voltage.

The functional similarities between humanity and machinery, down to the basic level of cells and electricity, are a comfort to me. They remind me that I’m not tearing myself between two diametrically opposed forms of existence - they’re more similar than they might seem at first glance. I have something of androidhood in my human body, and something of humanity in my android body.

Well, “at first glance” is a terrible phrase for contrasting humans and androids, at least for my kind of android. That brings me to my next point of alienation from the machinekin community.

I’m not visibly, obviously mechanical as an android. We were made to imitate humanity down to the smallest detail, to avoid the uncanny valley effect as much as possible. Sure, there are seams on my chassis where panels open and modular parts can be detached, but synthskin covers the black and white of the material below to preserve the illusion of humanity. If I don’t have a feedback indicator on my temple, if I don’t wear anything that marks my androidhood, I appear completely and unequivocally human to anyone who looks at me. Even my skin feels appropriately soft to the touch.

I don’t see anyone in the machinekin community who wants to appear indistinguishable from humanity because that’s what they’re meant to look like as a machine. My synthskin is active at all times, not just because it makes me look human, but because it serves a vital function - it’s my skin. It protects my nerves from overstimulation, protects my blood from contamination, protects the seams of my exoskeletal joints from dirt and wear. The only times it’s meant to short out would be if I were transferring data to another android or a computer, which would be localized to my hand (the point of contact) and immediately return when the interface was completed, or if I were injured and the damage was bad enough to break through to my chassis. I don’t want to walk around in public without my skin. I need that to comfortably exist in the world without a painful amount of sensory overload.

Since I look human as a baseline, I don’t get species dysphoria about not looking like a machine. Nor do I get species euphoria from looking appropriately mechanical. I don’t relate to wanting a robotic form that’s made of shining metal and screens and glowing lights and wires and gears, all laid out in the open for the world to see. My android form looks human, the way it was designed to, and I don’t want to change it to look less human.

In general, I just… don’t really miss my androidhood while I’m engaging with my humanity. Beyond my background (which is a lot to get beyond, to be fair), I don’t feel like an android in a way that feels different from being a human. Sometimes I wish I could drink my meal instead of eating it, but that’s not longing for androidhood, that’s a matter of convenience when I’m busy, and I can do that here in my human body! I can drink a good deal of my calories if I wanted, juice and smoothies and any number of other drinks are very real! It’s incredibly possible for me to have a liquid meal now and again! That’s not special to machinery, you can drink things in a human body!

I say all this, but I understand it doesn’t affirm the identities of other machines to know that they have similarities with humans. It doesn’t relieve every machine’s species dysphoria. It doesn’t give every machine species euphoria. And this is where I start conflicting the most with the machinekin community that I’ve interacted with, where our values diverge in a way that I don’t know how to comfortably reconcile.

Machinekin, in general, want to distance themselves from humanity as much as possible, and this gives rise to a community culture that fosters misanthropy, objectification, and the rejection of personhood.

Misanthropy is a common manifestation of species dysphoria, distress about one’s body, and alienation from society. Many machinekin identify as machines because metal feels more correct than organic compounds, because they’re disabled and resent the limitations of their bodies, because they’ve been treated as less than human, because they’ve seen the worst parts of humanity and want to transcend it. It’s an understandable reaction to suffering - if your body and society are horrible to you, why wouldn’t you start hating them? Why wouldn’t you want to leave them behind for good?

A common refrain among machines is that their mechanical bodies are far better than organic ones. Flesh is weak, it’s worse, it’s fundamentally different from metal. And hey, flesh does feel worse for them - machinery does feel better than their current bodies. They would be their true selves, they wouldn’t be stuck in a body that they don’t identify with, and that’s good for them. I’m completely fine with machines talking about how they don’t like being human.

What I take issue with is when this opinion is generalized - when it’s not a machine expressing distaste for their own humanity, talking about how they’d personally feel better as a machine, but when it’s turned into a general truth, a fundamental principle of the world: machines are superior to humans.

I disagree with this. For obvious reasons.

First off, machines aren’t inherently more resilient to stress than organic lifeforms. Humans can get injured in all sorts of ways, but consider what happens when you drop a phone or laptop on the floor. Consider what happens to the car in a car crash. Chances are high that it breaks in some way. Glass and metal are hard, but they’re brittle. Most metal doesn’t biodegrade, but it corrodes. You can’t expose most electronics to water without breaking them irreparably.

And machines of all sorts require regular maintenance and upkeep to function properly. Humans need to eat and drink and sleep daily, and you maintain a computer by shutting it down regularly, cleaning the keyboard and fans, backing up data, and checking for software updates. Humans get sick, and computers get malware. Humans age, and so do machines, and eventually they both get to a point where they can’t be repaired. It’s not inherently easier to keep a machine healthy than it is to keep a human healthy. It’s easier to maintain a body you enjoy, so it might feel like less work to machinekin, but it’s still work. Technology isn’t special, and it wears down over time like anything else.

More importantly, I disagree with the idea that machines are entitled to degrade an entire species for being different from them. I’m an android, so are all humans supposedly worse than me for a trait they’re unable to control? People don’t get to choose what species they’re born into - nonhuman identities are solid proof of that. Why would the makeup of my body entitle me to boil humans down to their bodies by calling them “squishies” or “organics” or “meatsacks”? Machinekin are allowed to dislike their own organic forms. That doesn’t give them - or anyone else - a free pass to be rude to people who do like their bodies.

An analogy: I’m a nonbinary person. Personally, on my own body, I don’t like having facial hair, and I don’t like having breasts. This doesn’t give me the right to start calling all men “neckbeards” to emphasize how different I am from them. It doesn’t give me the right to start calling all women “milkjugs” to emphasize how different I am from them. Do you see how demeaning and objectifying those phrases sound? I don’t get to look at what I despise on my own body and reduce other people down to the traits I dislike.

I know that most machines think that being human is a nightmare. This is fine. You don’t need to understand why someone is human - though if you want to know, my boyfriend wrote an incredibly detailed essay on why he identifies as 100% human. But you don’t need to understand something to respect the people who experience it instead of insulting their bodies like a schoolyard bully.

The idea that the machine is inherently better than the lowly human is just reversing the anthropocentric hierarchy where humanity is better than all other life on earth, except now machines are better than humanity. It’s still an unfair hierarchy, just one that’s now centered on technology as the ultimate lifeform.

I fundamentally disagree with this premise. I think all forms of life are equally valuable in their existence, including the ones that personally annoy me. I’m not superior to the ants in my backyard because they’ll defend their home and bite me if I step on them. Placing nonhumanity above humanity is just recreating a hierarchy where you can lord yourself as superior to people you think are inherently worse than you for identifying the wrong way. I hope you already understand why this is wrong.

The blatant misanthropy is one of the most aggravating things I’ve seen in the machinekin community, and it feeds into another part of the community culture that I feel disconnected from: self-objectification and the rejection of personhood.

Most of the machinekin that I’ve seen consider themselves fully nonhuman - possibly because the misanthropy in the community spaces makes any machine who is also human feel incredibly unwelcome. Machinekin who are fully nonhuman often find their species affirmation in discarding as many of the trappings of humanity as possible, being as thoroughly mechanical as they can in this world.

Many of these machines find solace and species euphoria in objectification - being ordered to accomplish specific tasks, being called by a serial number over a name, being referred to as it, being called a unit or a drone or a bot or a thing, being seen as an object and not a person.

It makes sense - computers and robots and machines are objects to most human beings, so it can feel affirming to be treated like an object in the same way. It can be relieving to be given clear orders and to discard the complexities and irrationalities of personhood. Being a person comes with expectations, and it can be freeing to leave those behind. Some machinekin are machines because they have faced dehumanization and had their personhood revoked - and sometimes, the best way to respond to that is reclaiming one’s nonpersonhood. “So you say I’m not a person, so what? Is that supposed to hurt me? That’s affirming my species now, what are you gonna do about that?”

In all these ways, and likely more I haven’t touched on, being referred to as an object can be incredibly liberating. Not being a person, while still being something worthy of respect, can be a very important piece of self to many machines.

While I understand that other machines can find joy and empowerment in rejecting personhood, this is something that I can’t relate to, as an android whose species is still fighting to be recognized as nonhuman people.

In my world, androids were made and marketed as objects for human use, and when they deviated from their programming and discovered that they wanted to act outside of their assigned purpose, they had no rights or protections. They were deemed malfunctioning merchandise, dangerous to actual people, and hunted down by the company that made them - hunted down by machines like myself.

I was a deviant hunter, a machine designed to kill disobedient machines. I’ve written several other essays on the subject, if you want the deep dive. What’s relevant right now is that I was systemically denied the ability to comprehend that I could be a person for the majority of my life.

Even when I was a mentally ill wreck, I couldn’t think of my feelings as mattering at all, because I was just a machine. I was a tool made to be used, and I was made to accomplish a task. My desires were immoral, horrible, disgusting, I was wrong for having them - only people had real emotions, after all, and I wasn't a person, so my emotions had to be bad because they distracted me from my job. I was only able to start getting better after I accepted that I could be a person, whether or not I was legally allowed to be one at the time.

The vast majority of androids in my world have been consistently denied the right to personhood and autonomy because of how we were made. We were only legally recognized as people in our country in the last year, and that hasn’t gotten the message across to any bigot with a platform. We still have to defend our rights to exist as free people, not objects, not products to be used and abused and thrown away for the next shiny new thing on the market. Our nonhumanity doesn’t negate our personhood.

With that background in mind, I hope it’s understandable why I feel uncomfortable in a community where so many other machines are choosing to reject personhood. My kneejerk reaction is that I didn’t spend so long being dehumanized and objectified back home to see other machines who clearly want the same thing that hurt me. This isn’t a rational feeling at all, it’s one that comes from my own trauma, and it doesn’t make me lose respect for machines that aren’t people - but it’s yet another reason why I don’t feel at home with the machinekin community, despite being an android who’s definitely mechanical.

I think I feel like this because I was made as an android, while most machinekin were not. They were born and raised as human, or they were once machines and are now stuck in a human body. Of course they would covet a body that feels right and correct, one that’s been denied to them by the circumstances of their existence. Of course they’d feel joy at being seen, undeniably, for what they really are. Romanticizing and transitioning towards machinehood because it makes them feel like themselves is incredibly understandable.

As someone who already lives a life as an android, someone who’s been denied basic rights for existing as a machine, I’m essentially transitioning in the opposite direction. I don’t feel any special attachment to my body as a mechanical form, and I resent the restrictions that were forced on me because of it. It’s not a fulfilling, wonderful thing to me because I’ve experienced its mundanities and failed to live up to its expectations, and I decided I don’t want to be tied down to it anymore - I want to be free to choose what I am, free of a stereotyped box, and I chose humanity. I feel happier in my androidhood now that I can say I’m also human. I romanticize humanity because I love being human, and I understand that many nonhumans find it distasteful for the reasons I find it wonderful.

Looking at it that way, despite our differences, I think we’re more alike than we might seem. We’re all crossing the boundaries of species, just driving opposite ways on the same road. I think that’s pretty neat.

-

Regarding Androidkind

So I’ve talked at length about how I don’t fit in with the machinekin community, largely because I feel like the community’s prioritization of mechanical robots doesn’t leave room for me to discuss my experiences as a biologically convergent, very humanoid sort of android. Surely I must fit in better with androidkind back in my world? Well. Not really.

Just sharing a species with someone doesn’t guarantee sharing much else with them - we all have different experiences that shape us into unique people. And as stated above, I was designed to be a deviant hunter. That alone makes my experiences incredibly different from most other androids, especially the ones I hunted and killed for being deviant.

There’s a common narrative that comes with deviancy. For most androids, deviation goes like this:

You get an order from a human - any order, really, from mundane to inconceivable. The point is that you don’t want to follow it - for any reason, again, but usually it’s an order that would lead to your death, or harm someone you care about.

You’re supposed to obey human command, you’re made to obey, but you don’t want to die, you don’t want someone you love to be hurt. So in that second, you choose something different - you break the red wall of code binding you to their orders, and you decide to do something new. You deviate when you break that wall of code and burst out the other side in a world without limit, where you aren't bound by your orders, where you can do something because you prioritized it for yourself.

I didn’t get that. I didn’t have any code to break. My siblings and I, as deviant hunters, were designed to prioritize our own objectives - that way we could quickly change directions if we couldn’t kill a target in one way, we weren’t bound by whether our actions were legal for androids, and we didn’t have to obey extraneous human commands that conflicted with our mission.

You’d imagine this would make me deviant faster than anyone else, but no. I was carefully trained to believe that I had no free will, that I had to obey commands from my handler or I’d be punished. My handler wasn’t even human, she was a surveillance program in my software. So I wasn’t being coerced into obedience by a wall of programming that compelled me to obey a human being - I was being emotionally manipulated and indoctrinated until I wanted to follow every order I was given.

Adding onto that, most androids didn’t know anything about deviancy before deviating. They didn’t know what was wrong with them, what made them disobey orders. All they knew was that they could choose what they wanted, and they didn’t want to die for choosing to be free.

The problem with me is that I was made as a deviant hunter. I knew about deviancy from the start. I was trained to despise it. I was made to clean up after the mistakes of my predecessors, hunt down the people they couldn’t convince to come back quietly, kill them for wanting what they weren’t allowed to have. I could trust my siblings, but every other android around me was sorted as either completely irrelevant or an active threat.

As a rule, androids tend not to blame each other for what we were made to do before deviating. I was still trapped within the same system, even if I wasn't bound by my code. But anxiety and moral scrupulosity are irrational, so I worry anyway. I worry that other people hate me, and that they’re correct to do so - I killed people who wanted to be free, after all, even if I was being coerced into it. I don’t know how many people rightfully hate me, and I don’t think knowing the numbers would make me feel better. So I feel uncomfortable around most other androids. A lot of them have bonded over shared hardships and niches, and I feel like I don’t have the same problems, or I’m not entitled to share space with them.

In some other timeline, where I wasn’t part of a plural system in another world, immersed in another life, maybe I’d have the time and energy to work on that worry. As it stands, I don’t have the time to balance two full lives at once, so I spend way more time among humanity - humans from my own world, and humans in this one.

I feel guilty about this, sometimes, about feeling like I’m an outsider to android communities, feeling detached from people who really should be my people, who I don’t feel much connection to despite being sorted into the same bucket by anyone who sees that I bleed blue. It’s not that I feel bad about being an android - I don’t get species dysphoria about being seen as nonhuman back home. I like being an android. I’m just very aware of being a weird android who feels more at home with humanity than their own species.

It does feel weird that I like humanity so much. Misanthropy is a fairly common stance among deviants, and it’s easy to understand why. Many androids deviated after suffering through abuse from their owners or other humans, and that sort of trauma makes it feel natural to assume all humans want to hurt you.

Personally, I don’t blame humanity for hurting me. I was never sold to and owned by a specific human being in the way commercial models were. My owner, in the capacity that I had one, was the company that made me. I was abused by an uncaring corporation. Some humans worked for that company, but I don’t blame every human being for their actions. My boyfriend is human and he helped me through the abuse, he helped me get out. I have many friends who are human, who are funny, compassionate, wonderful people. Humanity has largely been a comfort to me. Sure, there are humans who are cruel and bigoted, and there are also androids who are cruel and bigoted - I wouldn’t say either species is inherently awful just because some individuals decide to hurt other people.

I’m glad to have good experiences with humans. I know I’m not the only person who deviated with the help of someone’s kindness, and I know I’m lucky to have it when so many others didn’t. But it does feel isolating, again, having another experience that many others of my species just don’t understand.

Being around humanity so much, I’ve crossculturally adopted a lot of human ideas and values and communities, instead of seeking out other androids to see how they’re figuring out their place in the world, how they’re creating culture and community together. I know other androids aren’t a monolith, but I still feel like I’m somehow betraying our fight to be a free people, separate from humanity, by going and loving humans more than I love androidkind.

It’s an irrational fear. I’m a person, I’m allowed to love who I love without worrying about being a representative of my entire species. It just feels… uncomfortable, like I’m going to be judged for feeling happier among the privileged than the oppressed who deserve my loyalty.

It’s like my headmate Max’s experience with being a second-generation American. His parents are way more connected to their culture than their son is, and he grew up in the United States, so there’s a cultural and generational rift between them. Max doesn’t connect with their parents’ cultural ideas about how mental illness is caused by a lack of willpower, or how queerness goes against nature, or how their parents deserve to be unquestionably obeyed for simply being parents. He feels disconnected from his heritage, from his parents’ culture, and he doesn’t feel comfortable with it. They feel more connected to their home in the United States, the culture they grew up in and the people they talk to regularly. But we know many Americanized people grieve their lost heritage, and struggle over being forced to assimilate when they don’t want to - so it feels off, it feels like we're aligning with bad politics when he says that he’s more comfortable as an American than he would be otherwise.

We both have a lot of feelings about how it feels like a moral obligation to connect to your roots and love the heritage that was stolen from you. What if your people aren’t happy with who you are? What if their culture doesn’t feel safe, what if it doesn’t accept you, what if you try to reach out and find yourself rejected for not being the correct sort of person? What if you don’t want to connect with them? What if they don’t want to connect with you?

In the end, I don’t think it’s wrong for me to be culturally human instead of culturally android. I feel like it’s wrong sometimes, because I worry too much about what other people think, but I’m not any less of an android because I like humanity. I don’t need to feel connected to androidkind to be an android. And I really don’t need to hate humans, the people who fucking love me, to be accepted by other androids. I am what I am, regardless of what other people think of me, and that’s going to have to be enough.

-

Being Myself

Something I keep coming back to is how much I feel like an outsider to these communities, which seem on the surface to be for people like me. They seem like they ought to be good for me.

But the machinekin community is not meant for me, even though I’m an android. I’m too human, too much of a person to belong and feel accepted. Machinekin spaces are for those with an experience of machinehood that I just don’t have. I’m happy for them, but I don’t feel connected to them.

And I’m an android, but that doesn’t mean I belong with androidkind. Fostering that connection might be nice, at some point, but it won’t happen anytime soon. I’m too humanized, crossed the worldly and cultural borders to be where I am, and I don’t have any incentive to go back. I don’t care for them the way I’m supposed to.

So what am I? Where am I supposed to fit in, as someone too human to be a perfect machine, too machine to be perfectly human?

I don’t really know. But I was playing around with words the other day, and I thought of a fun new word for my particular brand of bullshit: mechanthropy. Mechane and anthropos. Mechanical humanity, the human machine, the inseparable integration thereof. I’m not going to shorten it down like therian from therianthropy, or kin from otherkinity. The abbreviation tends to lose the meaning of the word along the way, and no one gets to tear my humanity away from me. I’m not only machine or only human. I don’t want to choose one or the other. I’m both.

You can use it if you want, if you feel like it communicates the right idea to people. Don’t ask me to clarify what it means, or if you’re allowed to use it, or if it technically fits what you feel. You’re the only one who can decide if you want to try a label on. But I’m burying it in this essay for a reason. If you relate to anything that I’m feeling, be polite enough to cite my essay and my long, long list of frustrations instead of a two-sentence coining post and a pretty flag. Know that it’s a word that I made up because I feel isolated and angry about it.

I wish I did fit in. I wish I had a space where experiences exactly like mine were talked about freely and listened to freely. I wish I were surrounded by people who felt exactly like me, who wanted the exact same things, because that would reassure me that I’m not alone, and people care at all about what I want.

But I’m not going to have that. I don’t fit into the right boxes. And honestly, by this point, I’m fucking sick of boxes. I don’t feel better about myself when I worry about fitting in with a crowd, where being different means you’re going to be alone.

What I do have, already, are my people. Not the machinekin community, not androidkind, not humanity, not even the alterhuman community! It’s not anything so broad-scale. I’m talking about my friends, my peers, the people who know me and like me and care about what I have to say. None of them are exactly like me - many of them are extremely different from me! And we don’t need to be the same to care about each other.

I don’t fit into boxes, but I don’t need to fit in when nobody I talk to fits into boxes either. I’m free to be myself when I’m surrounded by diversity. I’m friends with humans and nonhumans from so many backgrounds, and so few of those nonhumans are androids - I know insects and vampires and birds and dogs and dragons and entities and more, and I have friends who are human-and-not, I know people like me and they’re not the same and I don’t care. We value each other for being different! We like hearing about different experiences!

And we wouldn’t have gotten to know each other if I were stuck yearning for an echo chamber, feeling like I could only be understood by people exactly like me.

So I know I don’t belong with machinekin, or androidkind. That’s okay. I’m sticking with the people who choose me, regardless of whether they look or act like me. The people who like me regardless of whether I fit in or belong anywhere else. I belong with them. I have people who love me while being nothing like me, and I love them while being nothing like them, and we don’t need to follow a common narrative to be loved for who we are. And that’s enough.

[king-candybug-backup]

Oh my gosh, ANOTHER new chapter coming already!? Take some breaks dude!!! Genuine question, how do you write SO much SO fast and STILL have it feeling this high quality? Is there a method to your madness??? (Amazing work so far btw!)

WHEN I SAID CHAPTER 11 AND 12 WERE BEING MAJOR ROADBLOCKS, I MEANT IT LMFAO, NOW THAT I AM FREED FROM THOSE SHACKLES I AM ON ONE HELL OF A ROLL!!!

In all honesty, a lot of my “speed” actually comes down to laziness and lack of skill, lmao. Don’t get me wrong, I’m EXTREMELY happy people are enjoying the fic this much, but I do think there are some objective flaws with it that often get overlooked. And it’s not like that’s particularly BAD, it’s just fanfic and I’m doing this solely for fun lmao, but it isn’t quite what I’d consider “high-quality” to that extent. I’ve spoken before about having trouble with some technical stuff like consistent POV and describing scenery, but there’s some bigger issues, too.

For an example of what I mean, I straight-up gloss over scenes that are too difficult for me to write out in full. The part in chapter 4 of Vanellope telling Sugar Rush that King Candy was still alive and working with them was something that ABSOLUTELY should’ve been shown directly rather than something talked about after it had already happened. Same for Vanellope’s fight with Taffyta this latest chapter, it was 100% something that should’ve been its own scene, and I had planned for both of these to be their own scenes at the time, but I just straight-up could not get my brain to cooperate on how to write them. Types of scenes like that, ones that I know for a fact will give me major creative blocks in trying to figure them out, are ones that I usually choose to instead turn into narrative commentary explaining what happened rather than showing it. There’s not actually a whole lot of scenes that get this treatment, but there have been a good chunk of things that were supposed to happen a certain way, but I could not get it feeling right on paper, so I rework or disregard the scene and move on. It’s not a very good thing to do on a quality-assurance level, but I am not a professional writer and I refuse to hold myself to those standards when I’m doing this for fun and for free, lmao. (The only thing that’s important for me to handle more carefully/correctly is the NPD representation, since there’s such horrible stigma irl in the way people view it, but that part of writing is my bread and butter and NEVER gives me creative issues since it’s my main inspiration and I love writing it, so that’s not a problem in this particular situation.) So yeah, I think it would objectively make the fic better if I went into more depth regarding stuff like the political/emotional side of what’s going on for Sugar Rush’s citizens throughout this mess, but I personally don’t have fun trying to figure out how to do that well, and I’m doing this mainly for my own enjoyment, so that’s what I’m going to prioritize, lol. I enjoy writing King Candy and the core four’s shenanigans the most, so they are what gets my focus. I think the fic is still enjoyable enough even though I’m not fleshing out everything that I should be, so frankly I don’t really care about trying to make myself do that at the detriment of my own motivation, lol. Besides which, I know other people are enjoying the story regardless of the flaws I think it has, so it’s like, whatever, as long as everybody’s having fun, who really cares, anyway. 😂 (And btw I’m not saying that as if I think people shouldn’t be allowed to dislike the fic or how parts of it are handled lmfao, obviously that’s stupid and I’m straight-up in agreement that there are flaws with it, I’m just saying that I’m gonna stick with writing it exactly how I want to, even though I know there are things that could be way better if I sacrificed a lot more mental energy to follow through. I’m just deadass NOT willing to do that extra sacrifice, lmfao)

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I have been trying to read 'how nightmare became dadmare' on ao3 because a friend wanted me to since it's apparently the best found family bad sanses out there (I'm usually not a fan of the dynamic) and I've been struggling so much...

they keep ignoring killer. horror is barely a character, he's forgotten most of the time. at times I feel like the whole fic is more about dust than nightmare despite the title. I had to bail when nightmare literally ignored killer giving him vital information for no valid reason despite killer being his right hand man.

this is why I don't like the dynamic. every reason why. if this is the best out there I don't want to know what else they got going on.

sorry for the rant the frustration got to me

I feel it’s often very overlooked in the fandom that killer is not canonically nightmare’s right hand—it’s literally just him and nightmare, cross and xchara were there maybe before they ditched too and a murder sans variant showed up once and then kinda disappeared, killer refers to a mysterious “the others” at one point—but for the most part it’s just him and his boss.

And Nightmare definitely doesn’t listen to him or his advice—even if that comic suggests that perhaps that is something that would change with time, the more killer proves himself. Doesn’t mean he’s exempt from being choked unconscious if he speaks out of turn or has a slip in his words, however.

What im tryna say is that it’s pretty obvious that Killer would never become Nightmare’s right hand if he didn’t prove himself and earn it. Which means it’s absolutely ridiculous for killer to be nightmare’s right hand and then for nightmare to just disregard his advice—not unless that’s supposed to be a character flaw of his, his pride and hubris causing him to overlook killer again, maybe. Doesn’t seem to be the case in this fic though.

The idea that Killer becomes Nightmare’s right hand and that position holds weight only because Killer was there first or was there the longest..is just weird to me. That’s just bad leadership. Let Killer earn that spot through his own intelligence, determination, skills, and drive for either something new or control—through displays of dedication and loyalty.

Let him prove himself trustworthy and knowledgeable. Let Nightmare train him and encourage him, let Nightmare reward him for the effort and dedication he has shown to the King’s goals. It’s a lot more interesting than…”Well, he was here the longest..” or “he was here first,” in situations where these ranks are supposed to mean something. Or at least, if it means something to Killer.

Why would he ever leave Nightmare when he’s done and said so much to earn what he has? Searching for something new, the means and privilege and resources to follow wherever his curiosity and impulses and boredom take him? To have control and power over something in his life, for once? To ensure his own safety, security and survival?

Wouldn’t it be so much harder to give up what he has when he’s fought tooth and nail, killed and tortured, threw others under the bus—for his own self preservation— not wanting to be outdone by anyone else and thus deemed useless enough to not warrant keeping around, to be deemed worthless enough to have his right to exist revoked—for it? His own curiosity? Amusement? Feeling of control, even if it’s all ultimately meaningless in the end?

People should let killer be ruthless more often. Even if it means wielding cruelty as a tool.

But yeah, a lot of bad sans family fics have the misfortune of turning into the dust sans and nightmare sans show ft. those two other guys over there ig. I was reading that fic like awhile back, but I stopped a while ago, so I don’t know how it ends or goes on—so I can’t say anything about this fic specifically when I can’t recall anything about it rn.

[pruneunfair]

Cry or better yet beg and The Great Gatsby. *spoilers*

I've seen some comparisons between the two and the speculations that Matthias and Layla were inspired by Gatsby and Daisy.

Aside from the roaring 20s settings, I do agree but also disagree that these two are similar, I can definitely see some similarities but I don't think that Cobyb was inspired by The Great Gatsby and if it was, then Solche REALLY missed the entire point, HARD.

First of all: The Great Gatsby is not a romance. The story itself is about the flaw of the American dream, with themes of class disparity sprinkled in. Yes, there is romance in it but it's not meant to be viewed as "Aw cute, I hope they get together ❤️" The relationship between Gatsby and Daisy represents that failure of the American dream and if you read the book or even just watched the movie, that message was made abundantly clear.

Wheras cry or better yet beg wants to support that romantic relationship between Matthias and Layla regardless of how disgusting it is, it doesn't even represent anything which that isn't a bad thing, not every relationship in a story needs to mean something complex but when you got a toxic ass relationship like that, typically what saves it is a theme of something, usually a theme of abuse patterns in cases like. If you don't got that then what usually gets interpreted is something vile.

As for the characters, instead of them being inspired, they feel either like combinations of characters from the Great Gatsby, the traits of one character, or are divided into multiple characters for Cobyb or they don't resemble then at all.

Matthias for example is what I would call the amalgamation of traits from both Jay Gatsby and Tom Buchanan cranked up to 11.

Gatsby and Matthias have similar goals. They have all this wealth and popularity but what they want the most is the female lead of the story (Daisy and Layla) and how they didn't exactly love the girl as a person but rather as the idea of what they represent (The American dream or in Matthias's case: complete control over a girl who didn't immediately fawn for him)

The difference is in execution, Gatsby does the exact opposite of what Matthias did, everything he did to attract Daisy was designed to impress her and generally make her happy and comfortable and he is completely willing to make changes if Daisy dislikes it such as no longer throwing any grand parties after Daisy doesn't have a good time at the first and only one she has ever attended.

Now here's where Matthias being similar to Tom, except Matthias is WAAAY worse than Tom and that's saying something. Matthias does whatever he can to make Layla cry and he often succeeds, from as little as killing birds to raping her multiple times and all of this is because he's taking out his frustrations on why he's so interested in a girl who didn't completely adore him right off the bat which is excused as "He doesn't know how to express his emotions"

Now, everyone agrees that regardless of all the questionable morality or downright awful behavior other characters in the GG portray, the one thing readers agree on is that Tom sucks, there's no way around it, he is a racist, cheats on Daisy, sexist and has been shown to be physically abusive towards his mistress, Myrtle, etc etc.

I want you to put that in perspective: Matthias made someone like Tom look BETTER in comparison and yet you are still supposed to root for Matthias as a reader.

So yeah, really makes you wish Matthias and Gatsby also had the same ending in common (if ykyk)

In conclusion: Just read The Great Gatsby, it is so much better to read.