#I meant to read the sequel but I haven't yet

[cheerycherrycandy-resurrected]

What You've Done, You Cannot Undo (Medieval AU)

Epilogue

As summer fades, the ghouls settle in further. New friends and relationships blossom, and a new band performs their first ritual in the local village.

Rating: M Content: possessive behavior Words: 4812

Links to full fic: Tumblr | AO3

Not bad for a fic that was meant to be 5 chapters and about 15k words… this was supposed to be a quick little fic that I wrote before moving on to write the longer soulmates AU I’ve been planning since around March! 

As I think I've mentioned, this isn't the end! This was always supposed to be a Raindrop fic, and so Swissalps's story will be continued in a sequel. I'll be dropping the first chapter shortly, and I have a special invitation for it if anyone wants that in their ask box! message me or reply if you'd be interested?

I can't let myself get too sappy here or it'll end up longer than the chapter itself. But thank you to everyone who's been so lovely about this fic in replies or reblogs (especially looking at @everybodyshusband @cosmicseafoam @jazz-bazz @0-miles-away @papaslittlesunshine @ligovskaya @midnight-moth @karmicbias @kentuckyfriedsatan and anyone who's AO3 username I haven't correlated to a tumblr blog yet!), I wouldn't have stuck with this so long without you guys 🖤🖤

Read below, or on AO3!

The weeks passed, the summer fading further every day. With the final harvests nearly all brought in and the trees painting themselves in a hundred shades of amber and gold, autumn was finally upon the Abbey. No amount of dulling of the colours of nature could dull the passion of Rain and Dew’s relationship however, even as they found themselves slipping into a routine. For the Abbey’s fire ghouls, it was all hands on deck to help keep the grain dry, yet amidst his busy schedule Dew still found ample time to luxuriate in him and his pack’s safe and comfortable new home. Most importantly though, he thought, he had time to spend with his m– Rain.  

Dew had to stop himself for the thousandth time from thinking of Rain as his mate. To him, the rituals were practically complete. Having passed on his amulet, he had opened his heart and shared his soul. For Rain though, he knew they were only at the end of the first step of the many that comprised a water ghoul's courting ritual. They had many months left before Rain would have completed his side of the tradition; the next step being gifts that were less about being pretty, and more practical gifts for their future together. Dew had no way of knowing that Rain was already hard at work on that front; taking advice from his new pod of water ghouls on the best kinds of kelp to harvest from the lake here, and the weaving patterns that would create the softest possible blankets from it. Dew was happy to wait for Rain however; even if it took millennia, he would wait for him. 

As the weeks passed for Dew and Rain and their relationship grew both deeper and stronger, Swiss and Mountain continued to dance around each other, both backing out of making the final move at the last second. Their friendship had never been stronger, and with that came the higher pressure of what was a stake if their feelings were not reciprocated. 

Aether could see straight through their – at times – comedically oblivious behaviour. He had known Mountain for so many years now, and Swiss a great number too, that he could decipher the thoughts running through their heads just like reading a book. Seeing his pack couple off like they were doing could have made him feel lonely and jealous, he supposed. Considering his thoughts however, he couldn't find a scrap of negativity towards any of them. Really, he was just happy to see his pack happy.  

He had a fulfilling life; a pack, new friends around the Abbey. Aether had always said that he was happy alone, with no desire to settle with a mate. Admittedly, Mountain had said something similar when they first met, but Swiss seemed to have been an exception there. Over the recent weeks since Cumulus had properly introduced them, Aether had especially been enjoying getting to know Cowbell. The quiet ghoul's steady, timeless attitude felt grounding amongst the recent chaos of his life, and Aether could tell they seemed as delighted to have made a new friend as he was. 

Aether’s role in the infirmary was also going better than he could have expected. Astra had quickly seen how unnecessary any training she could offer him would be, and had set him up mentoring some of the younger quintessence ghouls. To his mild amusement, he had gained a small gaggle of quintessence ghouls who followed him around the infirmary like little ducklings, hanging on his every word and keen to lap up every scrap of knowledge he imparted. Aether found he enjoyed that side of his new role more than he had expected, and looked forward to teaching the younger ghouls each shift. 

With the Harvest Festival quickly approaching, one of the main tasks of the infirmary ghouls had been to prepare a supply of tinctures and remedies for the ghouls and siblings alike who would inevitably indulge a little too heavily in the Abbey’s famous blackberry wine. Due to his extensive knowledge of medicinal plants and herbs, Astra had delegated the task of organising this to Aether, who had grasped the extra responsibilities firmly. 

Before the festival however, came the one thing that was more exciting to the pack; Swiss, and Copia’s first musical engagement in the local tavern. Sunshine and Mountain were also heavily occupied now in rehearsals for it, the three ghouls – and one human – doing an excellent job of hiding their nerves from the rest of the pack. 

The pack was something else that had grown stronger at the Abbey, thought Aether. It hadn’t taken long for the five ghouls to begin to see the ghoulettes they lived their lives in such proximity to as more than just casual friends. Dew had clearly seen them as family long before the others had, but within the span of time they had been here the other ghouls also came to see them as an interwoven part of their lives. 

The ghoulettes, Cirrus and Cumulus in particular, had been referring to the new ghouls as pack, long before they were aware of it. The Den had become so much more crowded and noisier since they arrived, but none of the ghoulettes would change it for the world. The Abbey could feel large and lonely at times, and the constant presence of at least one member of the newly extended pack made everything feel cosier.  

Indeed, the concert – Aether still found calling it a “Ritual” to be laughable, although he would be happy to be proved wrong – was to be their first true pack adventure. The nine ghouls, plus Cowbell, Copia and several Siblings of Sin, were all planning to make the journey down the hill to support their leader’s latest passion project. Cowbell had offered to drive them in the large horse and cart usually used for their monthly grocery runs to the village, and as such the event was developing quite a party-like atmosphere. 

Even amongst the ghouls not attending, most either too busy or incapable of holding an adequate glamour, the day held excitement and novelty. There was a general buzz in the air throughout the Abbey, and it was riding this high that inspired most of the ghouls to finalise their remaining chores before the harvest festival the following day. 

One ghoul in particular who seemed to be buoyed along by the jubilant environment was a young, dark-haired fire ghoul. He was comparatively new to the Abbey, arriving some years after Dew left. Swiss was hurrying back to the Den, bringing armfuls of freshly-washed clothes from the laundry when the fire ghoul strode up to him with a self-assured, almost cocky, grin. 

“Good luck for tonight,” he purred in a low voice like treacle, reaching out a muscular arm to lay a hand on Swiss’ own bicep, “I’ll be at the festival tomorrow, if you want to get a celebratory drink together?” 

Swiss stood confused: he couldn’t remember ever speaking to this ghoul before, and certainly not in a way that would cause him to be so familiar with him. He hoisted the pile of clothes further into his arms, trying to think of a polite was to ask who he was exactly. 

“I, um…” Swiss trailed off, distracted by a low noise ringing in his ears. He shook his head slightly, trying to dislodge it but to no avail: if anything, it seemed to be getting louder. A dark and earthy scent suddenly assaulted his senses, and he wondered if he was falling ill, or if he had been cursed or something. It seemed the fire ghoul could feel it too though, as Swiss saw the colour drain from his face, rendering his tanned, olive skin an ashy grey. His terrified eyes were fixed on a point above and behind Swiss, and he stood frozen like a deer caught in a ranger's torchlight. Swiss cautiously turned around, half expecting to see some kind of nether-worldly monster oozing out of the wall. 

All he saw was Mountain however, stood tall and stony-faced with a dark aura emanating from him. The added height of his antler-like horns meant he cut an imposing figure. His lip curled into a snarl as he growled again, and a new wave of that woodsy, almost possessive scent washed over Swiss. As much as it seemed to be scaring the fire ghoul, Swiss thought it smelled divine. He smiled at Mountain with a questioning head-tilt, wondering where this strange behaviour was coming from so suddenly. The Earth ghoul’s eyes were fixed on the fire ghoul however, who managed to unfreeze for long enough to stutter out a disjointed sentence. 

“I’m sorry!” He looked like he was staring straight into the face of death himself. “I didn’t know, I’m sorry!” 

With a jerk of his head, Mountain dismissed him, sending the terrified fire ghoul scuttling down the hallway as fast as he could run, his tail between his legs. Once he was out of sight, Mountain seemed to calm down. His expression softened, and the air around him seemed lighter again.  

“What was all that about?” Swiss asked, confused by the earth ghoul’s sudden black mood, and the even more sudden departure of the unknown fire ghoul.  

Mountain muttered something Swiss didn’t catch and started relieving him of the large bundle of black clothes in his arms. Swiss trailed back to the Den beside him, still utterly confused by the interaction that had just taken place. 

“Was I meant to know who that was?” He mused aloud. “He acted so familiar, yet I can’t remember him from anywhere!” 

Mountain almost dropped the clothes, as he doubled over and snorted with laughter, previous aggressive attitude long behind him now that he had the multi ghoul to himself again. Was Swiss seriously that clueless about the fire ghoul’s unsubtle actions? Ever since he’d known him, Swiss had been taking advantage of the humans’ proclivity for flirting with him, often reciprocating if he thought it would secure him more work, or tips and favours. He couldn’t think what would have changed now to make him so oblivious, unless it was simply that it was another ghoul, rather than a human? 

“He was clearly flirting with you, Snapdragon!” Mountain guffawed in disbelief. “Could you really not tell?” 

Swiss’s quizzical expression suggested that no, he had not been aware of that. Adding to his confusion was Mountain’s reaction: he seemed to be finding the fire ghoul’s actions funny now, but what had the growling and – he realised what it was now – scenting been about? The bounce in the taller ghoul’s gait could only be described as victorious, and he chose to file all the hope about why that could be away until after their performance tonight. That wasn’t a distraction he would allow himself today, not when Copia was relying on him. 

Swiss had a suspicion however – one he kept to himself – about why he hadn’t grasped what the fire ghoul was really suggesting, and it had everything to do with the earth ghoul trotting slightly ahead of him. He was self-aware enough to know his feelings for Mountain bordered on infatuation, and he figured that now he had become used to the intensity of those feelings that he had forgotten what anything smaller felt like. The thrill of attraction, or of a newly developing crush felt so insignificant now that they were dwarfed by the magnitude of his feelings for the earth ghoul. He only had eyes for Mountain, and the thought of anyone else thinking they stood a chance in the battle for his heart was laughable to him. Hastening his steps to catch up with Mountain, Swiss fell into step with him to revel in being by his side once again. 

Reaching the Den just before they did was an excitable Dewdrop. He burst through the main door, and then into the room he shared with Rain, brandishing a dull metal object. 

“Look!” He exclaimed to a slightly startled Rain lounging in their nest. “A horseshoe!”  

Rain could see that, although what he couldn’t see was why Dew was quite so excited about such a mundane object. He smiled at him with a questioning tilt of his head and waited for Dew to elaborate. 

“The humans do something with them at weddings,” Dew explained as he joined Rain on the bed, still clutching the curved iron shape, “something about them catching luck? I thought we could hang it on our door!” 

He held it out for Rain to examine, demonstrating how it could look like a vessel for capturing luck when held in a U-shape. Rain took it from him, and it really was just a regular horseshoe: slightly rusted and worn down from use. More interesting than the horseshoe though, Rain realised that this was the first time Dew had ever brought back something to keep for himself. He let Dew chatter on about needing to find a hammer and some nails, if they should think about painting their door before or after mounting the horseshoe, and what colour Rain would like if so, would he like teal? Rain nodded along, only half his mind on the conversation. The other half was preoccupied celebrating this relatively large step for Dewdrop; this was yet more proof that he was finally starting to settle properly and relax, putting down roots for himself and Rain, finally feeling a sense of permanence. 

“I got it when I went to see Cowbell just now,” Dew elaborated, “to check if they’re all ready to drive the cart down to the village tonight. They were just reshoeing the mare we brought with us from the village, so that means this shoe played a part in getting us out of there! It really is lucky!” 

Rain melted further. It was becoming increasingly apparent that deep down Dew had the potential to be an incredibly sentimental ghoul, and he couldn't wait to see how that continued. 

“It seems to be working so far then,” Rain murmured, holding it up, “I've had nothing but luck since you came back for me.” 

With that, he leaned in to steal a kiss; both the horseshoe and all talk of home décor soon being forgotten. 

The day seemed both to drag and pass all too quickly at the same time. Before they knew it, Swiss, Mountain and Sunshine were all dressed, and carefully buffing the metal masks that were a part of their outfits one final time. Copia had decided they added a nice touch to their costumes; the shining horns hinting at their ghoulish nature without actually revealing it. The whole Den was alive with excitement and nerves, the fervour growing as the light outside began to fade. 

Walking out to the front courtyard to meet Cowbell with the cart, Swiss proudly led the way with his guitar strapped to his back. This felt familiar, and more importantly it felt right; doubly so with Mountain by his side. Cowbell was leaned against the wooden trailer, as human-looking as anyone could remember ever seeing them before. They were smiling softly, although slightly apprehensively, as the pack approached. Behind the pack followed the Siblings of Sin, who had initially been keen for an evening out but now seemed to be regretting their decision. Swiss could smell the waves of alarm pouring off them as they got closer, none of them used to interacting with the ancient ghoul who lived in the stables. 

“Good evening, dear ghoul!”  

Copia greeted Cowbell as he bustled forward and hoisted himself up next to them at the front of the cart. The rest of them would be travelling in the back, even though none of them were particularly keen to be sharing the space. They had no choice however, and the Siblings dutifully lined up behind the crush of ghouls that were piling in and jostling for space on the narrow wooden benches. Rain and Dew happily squeezed themselves into a corner, and Swiss settled himself into another; Mountain willingly joining him and shuffling closer until their thighs were pressed tight against each other. There was eventually space made for everyone and with a jolt, the cart set off. The sudden motion and continued bumping along the cobbles of the courtyard threw Mountain even closer into Swiss. Even once they were onto the smoother path into the village, he remained plastered along Swiss’ side as the countryside flew by.  

It really was a beautiful evening, Swiss though as he glanced out at the trees and fields around them. The orange sunset cast its glow over everything, making the whole world look like it was on fire. Most vibrant of all however was Mountain; his auburn hair glowing in the light like it was itself aflame. With his large horns glamoured away, the russet glow was all that served to make him appear as otherworldly as he did. Swiss thought that the whole world around them could truly be on fire, and he would be happy to sit and burn if only to stare at Mountain for a second longer.  

They continued rattling down the hill towards the village, and Swiss felt a pang of longing when he spotted Dew with his head leaning on Rain’s chest; held against his front by the water ghoul's long arms. He wished he could be so casually affectionate with mountain, but he dared not. He wouldn’t allow himself to dream that until he had first concluded the hard part – making sure they really were both on the same page. He didn’t deserve such a reward without the prior work, he thought.  

All too soon they were slowing to a stop outside a wide stone building that was emitting a narrow stream of smoke from its chimney: the village tavern. The Siblings practically fell out of the cart, their instincts screaming at them to put some distance between themselves and the ghouls. 

“Go, my Children, enjoy yourselves!” Copia laughed as they threw themselves towards the tavern door. 

The ghouls were only slightly more restrained as they clambered down and spilled into the building. Cowbell made no move to follow the others inside, instead staying next to the pair of horses, stroking one's nose. Aether paused, looking back at them. 

“You aren't coming in?” he asked, worried that the ghoul didn’t realise that they were welcome in too. Cowbell shook their head. They didn’t like crowds, especially human ones, as the noise and bustle were too much for their deeply ancient mind to handle. Despite that, the biggest thing stopping them now however was their appearance: Cowbell gestured to their feet, where Aether saw that their hooves were very much still visible. 

“My glamour’s incomplete,” they shrugged, “’m out of practice. It’s been centuries since I last used it.” 

One day, Aether thought, he would ask Cowbell just how old they really were. He suspected it was millennia. 

“Go inside with the others,” Cowbell smiled a wonky smile, “I’ll be happier listening out here anyway. Besides, I have company.” They stroked the second horse. Reluctantly, Aether followed after the rest of the rabble he called pack, throwing a final look back at Cowbell. They were muttering something in the horse’s ear while continuing to pet them. It sounded to Aether like they were speaking Infernal, a language only spoken in the pit, or so he thought. The horse didn’t seem perturbed though, and she whinnied happily at the attention. 

Inside the tavern, the atmosphere was jovial already. The large room was dimly lit, wood-panelled walls and supporting columns all stained dark with years of fire and tobacco smoke. Scattered across the panelling were a patchwork of lighter sections from recent and less-recent repairs. The only lighting came from lanterns that lined the walls and hung directly from the vaulted ceiling, as well as a small number of candles dotted on tables that lent a cosy and friendly air to the place.  

Better lit however, was the makeshift stage against the wall. It was slightly raised, simply built from a few wooden planks resting on crates, but it did the job. On the other side was the bar, its countertop polished as smooth as glass from generations of patrons leaning on it. Along its length were a line of stools with faded fabric covers, and the remaining floor space was filled with a hodgepodge of tables and chairs, scattering in increasingly private settings ranging from the centre of the room to corners almost entirely shrouded in darkness. 

Leaping lightly onto the stage, Copia looked resplendent in his robes, with his face painted black and white in the mimicry of a skull. Swiss thought he cut an imposing figure, when he wasn’t turning around to look at his ghouls with nerve-tinged excitement at least. The man stretched his arms out wide, the candlelight flickering off his bedazzled chasuble and truly making him look like the head of the dark church. 

Before long, the tables began to fill up with locals, intrigued by the talk of visiting musicians from the mysterious Abbey up at the top of the hill. Rain, Dew and the other ghouls not performing settled themselves at the table nearest the stage, Dew looking particularly excited and practically bouncing in his seat beside Rain. Swiss didn’t know what had overtaken him recently, but he seemed so much lighter and carefree now. He assumed it was Rain. The bustling crowd completely filled the tavern as the four musicians took their places on stage. Swiss caught Mountain’s eye once he was settled on the box he used as percussion. He saw the twin green flashes of his eyes behind his mask wink at him, silently wishing him luck. Swiss beamed back at him, his teeth glinting in the firelight through the bottom of his mask. With a final tune of his guitar, and another smile at Sunny, Swiss nodded to Copia and the man addressed the crowd. 

The ritual passed in a blur, and before Swiss knew it, they were leaving the stage to rapturous applause and cheers. As he stepped down onto the solid floor, Swiss had a large beer thrust into his hands by a grinning stranger. The jubilant atmosphere continued as the night wore on, the ghouls and their Papa swept up with the crowd, never finding their tankards dry. Even the ghouls who had not been performing seemed to be having fun, spending the local money Copia had given them to allow them to fit in and enjoy the night. The man himself was circling through the crowd, inviting anyone and everyone to the Abbey’s harvest festival the following night. His plan to spread their message was going better than any one of them could have imagined, and he had gained the interest of several curious village members.  

The noise and ruckus were proving too much for Aether however, and after a while of watching Dew and Swiss race each other to down their pints, he grabbed a pair of tankards and slipped out the door. Another musician had taken the stage, an accordion player, and Aether found Cowbell tapping along to the beat on the frame and iron wheels of the cart with two sticks like it was a drum kit. Aether chuckled as he approached. 

“Copia ought to make the band all wear floor-length robes, then you could join them!” 

Cowbell looked slightly sheepish at being caught, but their forked tongue slipped out as they smiled anyway. They joined Aether where he perched on some crates and accepted one of the beers gratefully. Apart from the rhythmic sound of one foot and one hoof tapping on the ground, they sat in a comfortable silence; two friends enjoying each other’s quiet, unhurried company. 

Back inside, Swiss could feel every drop of alcohol going to his head, and he thought Mountain must be feeling it too. The night was blurring together into a busy cacophony of singing, cheering and laughing. The one thing he could feel coherently was the constant, grounding pressure of Mountain’s hands on him. The earth ghoul had slunk across the tavern to join him, then barely let him go all evening, always keeping a hold of his waist or hip, or letting their shoulders press against each other. If their tails weren’t safely hidden away, Swiss had the feeling that they too would be braided together.  

In his fuzzy mental state, he wasn’t entirely sure what could have brought such behaviour on. The almost possessive twinge to it, like Mountain was trying to ward the humans off, was making his him feel even more floaty than the alcohol. Running on a high from the successful performance, Swiss couldn’t find the mental energy to really care about why Mountain was suddenly glued to him, he only cared that he was. He saw Rain and Dew similarly pressed together, and his inebriated mind let him convince himself that they could be the same, if just for tonight. 

Whoever was on stage currently seemed to know the audience well and was gradually convincing more and more of the tavern’s patrons to dance to the jig he played. The humans pressing close, swirling and stamping to the beat, swept the ghouls up in their fervour. Swiss soon found himself pressed closer to Mountain, dancing partners even without indenting to be, the pair clutching each other's arms for balance as they ebbed and flowed with the tide of the crowd. 

As the dance ended, Swiss fell against Mountain’s chest. The earth ghoul held him close while they both caught their breath and laughed at the exhilaration. For a while, they held each other and swayed to a slow dance only they could hear. Hearts beating in sync, Swiss looked up at Mountain to see him already staring down at him. His peridot eyes were at the centre of his vision, the only thing Swiss could focus on. They seemed to grow and expand to fill his field of view, and Swiss only realised that this was because they were getting closer together when the twin points of light blurred out of focus.  

Swiss’s eyes fluttered shut, and with his vision gone all his other senses heightened in response. He could feel Mountain’s breath against his face and could smell the sour note of beer in it, although he didn’t find that as off-putting as he supposed he should as he stretched up on his tiptoes to bring them closer still. Swiss felt rather than heard Mountain’s final sigh against him, before the soft yet insistent press of Mountain’s lips to his shook him like an earthquake. With all their prior hesitancy washed away by the free-flowing liquor, Swiss pressed back instinctually, throwing his arms around Mountain’s shoulders and holding on like his life depended on it.  

Time meant nothing to the pair as they ignored the general ruckus of the crowd around them, and the chorus of whoops and cheers that Dew was leading. It was like all the background noise had faded away leaving only them stood in a world of their own. Before long, although it was really several hours at this point, Copia was desperately trying to shepherd his sleepy, tipsy ghouls and the Siblings into the cart to head back to the Abbey. They had a busy day tomorrow, he reminded them, as he had promised all the villagers that their little band would be performing at the harvest festival too.  

Slowly, they all stumbled out into the brisk night where Aether and Cowbell were waiting, three sheets to the wind themselves. Swiss and Mountain had managed to make it over the threshold of the tavern without separating, but getting into the cart proved more difficult. Breathing their own air for the first time in a while, they unsteadily clambered into the trailer, cramming themselves into a corner to continue where they left off, despite the jeers from the ghouls around them. 

“Even we're not that bad!” Swiss thought he heard Dew crow from somewhere behind him. 

Eventually, they had made the short trip back up the hill and were all bumbling back into the Abbey, still drunk off free beer and good energy. Kiss broken, Swiss continued to hold Mountain's hand as he pulled them into the Den and their room. He kicked his boots off, uncaring where they landed as they tumbled into bed, still giggly and touchy but both too tired to do any more than that.  

“Today was fun.” Swiss purred sleepily, as he wriggled in Mountain's arms. The earth ghoul was almost asleep already as he hummed in affirmation. Quickly, they fell into a deep, contented sleep. They could think about what the events of tonight meant for them in the morning. 

To be continued... 

[crimsonblackrose]

Wait...wait what? I thought my blog was just getting a fluke in a spike of activity. I thought the activity was like people finding their way through the middle of nowhere because of my posts and being like hey thanks. Not...not big name author’s assistant asking me if I interview authors on my podcast that I stopped doing like two summers ago.

Cue panic. 

[cressidagrey]

Looked to the Sky - Chapter 13

Summary: 

Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was, however, Azriel‘s mate with her own mysterious, untrained powers.

Also known as: Azriel tries to court his mate the human way.

Warnings: 

THIS IS THE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE SEQUEL! SO READ THAT FIRST IF YOU WANNA READ THIS ONE OTHERWISE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

Elain Bashing, Low Self Esteem, I gave Kallias a random younger brother that is decisively not canon, and without @k-godling this would have never happened.

(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)

Elain and Lucien's wedding would take place around midday when the sun was in its highest position, as it was tradition in the Day Court. After that, it would involve a whole afternoon, evening and night of eating and drinking and quite frankly, it sounded like torture as far as Azriel was concerned.

Belatedly he wondered if this was what Eira would want. Did Eira want a huge wedding with plenty of guests? A Court occasion of sorts?

If she wanted it, he would go along with it. Of course, he would. But it still made him wonder…made him wonder if this was actually what she wanted or if she wanted something smaller, more intimate…

At least the midday wedding meant that they could have a slow morning…Breakfast together, before they all needed to get dressed and be properly presentable. 

Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him that he and Eira were the first ones awake. 

He found his mate curled up in a silky blue dressing gown, trimmed with lace,  on the balcony, nursing a cup of tea, while the shadows were already fussing with her hair.

Azriel took a moment to simply take her in. The way her hair spilt out over her shoulders, the way the silky material of her dressing gown clung to her, showing off her form to perfection…The shadows loved the dressing gown. They swirled around it, clearly delighted by the silky blue fabric and the lace-trimmed edges. Azriel loved that dressing gown too. 

Eira looked up and smiled at him. "Good Morning."

"Good morning," he replied with a soft smile, coming to sit down next to her. The shadows immediately wound around his wrists and flitted to her shoulders, caressing her, and Azriel chuckled at the way more of them immediately buried themselves into her hair.

"They seem to be hard at work already," he quipped, as Eira rolled her eyes. 

"They have plans," she told him earnestly, making him laugh.

Azriel chuckled again, watching the shadows play with her hair, even as she brought the teacup back to her lips. "Plans, hm?" he asked, a teasing note in his voice as one of the shadows brushed the hair behind her ear, almost as a caress.

Azriel chuckled again, watching the shadows frizzing her hair, even as she brought the teacup back to her lips. "Plans, hm?" he asked, a teasing note in his voice as one of the shadows brushed the hair behind her ear, almost as a caress.

Hair curled and open. Maybe some hydrangeas, they match her dress, the shadows told him brightly.

From where will you get the flowers? he asked carefully.

We’ll take them from The Seer's private garden when we...change the centrepieces, The shadows answered.

Azriel had to suppress a laugh at that answer. Of course, they had stolen them.

"So, hydrangeas, hm?" he repeated, and Eira gave him a suspicious look as the shadows continued to play with her hair.

"I have no clue," Eira said drily. "They haven't told me yet. I…” she trailed off, looking at him. “..We made a bargain yesterday," she blurted out suddenly.

He could just stare at her. What?!

Azriel stared at her as she spoke, completely thrown off guard.

"You...bargained with the shadows?" he asked her, his voice sounding a bit strangled. That was possible? He hadn’t known that was possible. 

"What? No! I accidentally bargained with you!" Eira said quickly, holding out her hand for him. He took in the small, slim fingers, and then saw the thin band of black encircling her ring finger.

What?!

Azriel's eyes widened at that, and he stared at the band of black ink on her finger. How had he not noticed that earlier?

Right, where a wedding ring would sit. His eyes snapped to her, taking in the wide blue-grey eyes of Eira.

"We promised to tell each other when we had a bad day," he recounted his voice hoarse. He hadn't noticed the feeling of a mark, that burning, so...his eyes went to his wrapped hand, pulling back the wrapping. Right there on his own hand, a perfect match to hers. Encircling his own ring finger.  Thicker than Eira's, but at the same place.  Azriel stared at it, stunned.

How...they were bound. Bound by a bargain.

He looked up at her, completely thrown off guard. "I...I didn't notice," he said hoarsely, his voice low. "I didn't do it on purpose," he assured her, and Eira looked at him, her eyes soft.

"I didn't think you did," she promised him. "I just...I wanted you to know."

He looked at her for a long while, taking in her wide eyes and vulnerable expression. Gods, she looked scared. Like she honestly believed that he would be angry at her, or blame her. Azriel's face softened considerably at that, and he slowly reached out a hand to cup her face, pulling her closer.

“Cauldron, Eira. I'm not angry," he assured her quietly, and he could feel the way her shoulders sagged at that as if the words had been a relief to her. "I...I like the idea of having you with me like that," he told her honestly.

Everywhere he went, the mark would be there too.

Eira stared at him for a moment, and he could see the way her eyes went to the mark on his hand, the way hers looked mirrored against his.

"You...you do?" Eira asked him quietly, almost like she didn't quite believe him.

Azriel softened, his thumb caressing her cheek as he leaned even closer. "Of course I do," he told her quietly. "Having you with me always? That's not a bad thing, Sweetheart."

It seemed that the nickname managed to make Eira's cheeks flush a bit, a small, shy smile appearing on her face. The shadows swirled around her face excitedly at that, and Azriel could have sworn that he heard them coo at Eira faintly.

Azriel's smile turned into a smirk, and he leaned down, his breath ghosting against her ear and making Eira shiver in response. "They're swooning at you, you know," he told her in a low voice, and the shadows swatted him faintly in protest, making him laugh.

"They do that," he continued, and he moved his mouth down to the side of her neck. "They absolutely adore you, darling."

He placed a kiss against her skin, and he could feel the gooseflesh rising underneath his lips. Good.

Eira shuddered at the words and his mouth against her skin, her eyes fluttering shut and he was struck once again by how sensitive she was. 

It only made his smirk grow.

Azriel's mouth moved against her skin, placing kisses against her slender neck and making her shudder again.

He loved this.

Seeing how she reacted to the simplest touch. How his kisses would make her flush and shiver. Gods, he wanted her.

And then he pulled back as he heard a door open, Eira blinking owlishly at him.

Azriel suppressed another laugh at her dazed expression as she looked at him. He would have very much liked to continue his quest to make her blush, but for now...well, Cassian walked onto the balcony at that moment.

And then as much as Azriel would have liked to continue...he couldn't because the rest of their family appeared, and soon enough, breakfast was served and everybody was getting dressed.

Breakfast was a short affair, as everybody wanted to make sure that they had enough time to properly get ready for the wedding, and Azriel was soon standing in the wardrobe of their rooms, staring into his own reflection in the mirror.

He did not do that often. Most often, because half the time he saw his own father stare back at him, and that wasn't something he ever wanted to think about.

He looked like him. He hated that fact. Hated that his mother saw him any time she looked at Azriel. But there was nothing he could do to change that. 

Today the shadows seemingly weren't content with only fussing over Eira, because Azriel got the same treatment, with his hair tidily combed over his forehead.

That's not black, he hissed at them as they freed the jacket he would wear from the wardrobe. It wasn't. He didn't even own another colour but black, but clearly, tonight, the shadows had other ideas. Granted, at least it wasn't bright yellow. It was blue. Dark blue. A very dark blue.

Good, the shadows told him in response, the darkness swirling around his shoulders. You need colour.

Azriel suppressed a scoff. He did not need colour, he liked black, thank you very much!

It matches her gown, the shadows protested in response. Azriel closed his eyes. Of course. He should have known.

They were in a mood, Azriel could tell. A mood to be utterly fussy, if the way they were straightening his collar and the jacket was an indicator. And Azriel knew them well enough by now to realise that arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere, so he just let them do as they pleased.

In the end, he couldn't tell if he liked the result or not. At least he didn't look outright ridiculous.

Dark blue fabric encased broad shoulders closed with silver buttons. There was just a touch of silvery embroidery along the edge of the sleeves. Not too much. It wasn't...as showy as it could be.

Still, Rhys and Cassian took a second look at him as he left the bedroom to join them in waiting for their mates.

"Well don't you look nice, Shadowsinger," Cassian commented with a slight smirk. Azriel just rolled his eyes at him in response.

"I did not pick that," he informed his brother honestly, and Cassian snickered in response.

"Let me guess," Rhys drawled, clearly amused. "The shadows?"

Azriel grunted in response. The truth was obvious and both his brothers knew it, and judging by the smirks on their faces, they were more than willing to tease Azriel about it.

"I think it looks nice!" Feyre said brightly as she stepped out of the room, swathed in purple tulle, while Nesta had slipped into a crimson silk gown, held up by thin straps...but he didn't even really take notice of that.

How could he? How could he do that, when Eira was right behind them. How could he even notice them, when his mate was there, in a muted blue dress, shot through with silver?

By the cauldron.

He had never in his life seen anything more beautiful. Anything more beautiful than Eira. Eira in that dress that bared her shoulders, that cut straight across her chest and did little to hide the swell of her breasts...that had a pair of useless swathes of tulle across her upper arms and otherwise just left acres of unblemished, creamy white skin open to his gaze. It cut in at the waist, but fell to the floor in layers upon layers of blue and silver, shifting the colour with every step she made...if lightning had been made into a dress, this was it. If Eira had been made into a dress, this was it.

She was so goddamn beautiful.

As if she could sense his stare, Eira's eyes flickered up and met his, and he saw how her cheeks flushed.

Perfect. So beautiful, the shadows cooed excitedly, swirling around her. Our Mate. Ours.

As if he needed any more proof of that. The shadows had never before in all his life been so excited and happy as when they fussed over Eira.

He must have stared at her like a fish because she self-consciously clenched her hands in her skirts.

It broke him out of his staring. He swallowed.

"You look breathtaking," Azriel whispered breathlessly as she came up to him. He couldn't keep himself from reaching out to grasp her hand, bringing it up to his mouth to brush a kiss against her knuckles, and the bargain tattoo and her skin burned under his lips in response.

"Like a bolt of lightning," he told her quietly, and he saw her breath hitch in response.

"Thank you," Eira breathed out quietly, her cheeks still flushed from his words, but a shy, happy smile on her face that made Azriel's heart skip a beat.

The shadows swarmed around her, caressing her hair and her skin, even her dress, and it seemed that they were utterly unwilling to let her go. They loved her like this.

Azriel wasn't surprised. He loved her like this too.

He couldn't help but notice the details...Her long, caramel-coloured hair was pulled away from her face but fell to her waist in carefully done curls, a few sprigs of Hydrangeas pinned to the back of her head...

The silver threaded bag she held in her hand, the sapphire necklace around her throat, the matching bracelet...The shadows had their fun.

"You'll make the bride jealous," Cassian commented lightly, and Nesta elbowed him in the side for that.

But...Cassian wasn't wrong. A lot of the attention would go towards Eira, looking like...looking like that. Azriel just ignored the little part of him which preened at that idea. His.

He would have loved to just pull her closer, hold her, just let his hands wander over that fabric, just feel her against him, but...the others were there. Which was a good thing, because if she let his hands wander, he would probably start doing things that were not very appropriate to do in front of their family.

So instead he squeezed the hand he had still been holding, and then tucked it in the crook of her neck. "I'll be the luckiest male today," he told her honestly, watching, charmed beside himself how her cheeks flamed again.

"The groom may disagree with you there," Eira gave back quietly.

"He'll have to deal with it," Azriel said with a smirk, and he heard a snort from beside him, which was certainly Rhys.

Eira just glanced at him under lowered lashes, biting her lip to suppress a smile.

He was utterly in love with this female, wasn't he?

The shadows swarmed around her for a moment, and he watched them cover her shoulders with a pelt...the pelt he had given her. Mountain Lion, not a question about it. They tucked it over her gown, so that she wouldn't get cold…another bit of attention, another show of how she was his. 

He heard the sharp inhale from Cassian and felt the look from Rhys. 

Azriel swallowed and stared at the pelt, at the way it was laid over her shoulders. Gods, she was wearing his pelt. She looked so utterly his, with the pelt over her shoulders. 

The pelt of the animal he had killed. Illyrian Tradition dictated a pelt given by the groom to his wife on their wedding day. If Azriel wanted to scream from the rooftops that Eira was his...well, that would have been more subtle.

The implication was very, very clear, and Azriel knew that Cassian and Rhys knew what the gesture had meant.

The look on Cassian's face certainly indicated as much, and when Azriel glanced over, his brother's hazel eyes were wide as he stared at the pelt on Eira's shoulders. Rhys' lips were lifted in the hint of a smile.

Staking your claim? Rhys whispered in his mind and Azriel growled in response. Yes. Yes, he was.

****

A bolt of lightning.

The words left her stunned and breathless for a moment, and she wondered at the way his deep voice sent shivers down her spine. He was the one to call her beautiful when he looked...the way he looked.

Eira could feel the burn of his lips on her knuckles, as well as the way the shadows had wound themselves around her, making her shiver faintly.

They were loud today. Practically singing in joy.

Eira tried very, very hard not to blush, she really did, but with the way Azriel’s eyes had looked upon her...the way the shadows had swirled around her almost excitedly...she couldn't help it. She knew the others were looking at her, and she could feel the way their gazes travelled over her. Over her necklace, her bracelet, her dress...but all she could focus on was him.

Him. So beautiful. So Handsome, clad in his navy jacket, shot through with silver, a perfect foil to her gown...she just knew that it was the shadows doing. All she wanted to do for a moment was to kiss him. To spend a whole evening doing nothing but that.

She knew that was a bad idea though, especially with the eyes of the others on them, and she couldn't even look at his mouth without wanting to kiss him, so instead she bit the inside of her own lip, to distract herself from the longing, from the need to kiss him.

Her sister's wedding was beautiful. Though there was not one lily in sight as far as Eira could see. She wondered if her sister had changed her mind about her choice of florals or… Or if the shadows that darted through the temple had anything to do with it. Getting their own form of petty revenge.

She had to admit, it was amusing to think about. To imagine the shadows swerving through the flowers in the temple, making it so there were no lilies. She could imagine it too, because the shadows loved to be meddlesome. But at least they were only so towards people they cared for.

They loved her, she knew that. As far as they had feelings, they loved her. They adored her. And judging by how they were still swirling around her skirts, and how she felt Azriel's gaze on her through most of the ceremony, he was well aware of that fact.

For just one moment Eira allowed herself to wonder. Were they ever going to make it down the aisle? She didn't want a huge production like that. It was gorgeous, with all the High Lords in attendance, Helion having clearly spared no expense for the wedding of his son and heir...

No. She didn't want that. She was never a big fan of being the centre of attention, never mind being the focus of this many people. But...She did want him. Wanted to be Azriel's.

Something small...intimate. Something that was just theirs and their families...that would suit Eira perfectly well. Maybe with Azriel's mother in attendance...with her sister and their mates...something small. No need for dozens of guests.

She just wanted him.

Still, she passed a smile on her face as Elain got married, and she realised startled that she felt indifferent about it all. Good for Elain. She wished that her sister was happy. But Eira...Eira didn't...there was just nothing in the way she was feeling that felt like she actually cared anymore.

Elain had burned that out of her chest.

And she honestly didn't know how to feel about that. She knew how guilty she probably should feel, but her heart felt empty.

No love, no happiness, no joy, no sorrow either...just an empty hollow feeling. A nothingness.

Which was a stark contrast to how she felt when she glanced at Azriel, at the shadows swirling around her.

He filled her with so much, and she didn't know how to react to that feeling either.

Though the feeling when Azriel led her out on the dance floor and swirled her around...when he lifted her with his hands around her waist like she weighed nothing...that was a wonder.

She felt giddy, letting him spin her around the dance floor, the layers of her skirts flaring out around them as he did. She hadn't danced in so long, that she had almost forgotten the feeling of the world flying past...until now until he lifted her and span her around as she weighed next to nothing.

By the gods, he was strong.

She wasn't a dancer like Nesta was...somebody that could put a whole room on their knees. But she had always, alwaysenjoyed it. Granted there hadn't been a myriad of suitors willing to partner with her.

But there was now.

There was Azriel who spun her around like she weighed nothing and touched her like she was fragile like spun glass.

He held her like she was an exquisite, treasured thing, an utter and total contradiction to his strength, but so perfect at the same time. She just let herself move to the music with him, following his lead so much more easily than she had ever followed anyone's lead before until she was practically breathless.

There was Rhys, who somehow managed to twirl her around to make her skirt float through the air and make her feel like a princess.

And then...then there was Cassian.

Loud, raucous Cassian. Huge with arms the size of tree trunks. Nesta looked tiny next to him, and Nesta still had quite a few inches on Eira.

Still, she was handed off to him, while Nesta dragged Azriel onto the dance floor.

"I need to warn you, both my brothers are better dancers than me," he told her drily.

She couldn't help it, a small grin curled on her lips even as she let him pull her out onto the dance floor, and she gave a quiet laugh at his words.

"I doubt that," she commented light-heartedly, and Cassian chuckled.

"My sweet summer child," he just drawled in response. "Azriel's the best dancer of us all, and Rhys ain't half bad either."

It didn't take long for her to find out that it was all true. All of it.

Cassian was…not a terrible dancer, but he wasn't quite as smooth as Rhys or Azriel. No, it was apparent that he was used to dancing with someone like Nesta, who took the lead more often than not...but that didn't make him a bad dancer. Far from it in fact.

He just wasn't the best.

"I wanted to talk to you though," Cassian broached the subject after a moment. "I...I have spent weeks with coming up with the right thing to say, but...I think the worst thing I can do is not to say anything," he said with a grimace. "I am sorry."

Her eyebrows flickered up at that, surprised by his words. What...what did Cassian have to be sorry for?

"Why are you sorry?" Eira asked quietly after a brief moment.

"You mean other than the fact that we all spent 2 years treating you abhorrently?" Cassian asked her sarcastically.

"I-" She started, because...what was she supposed to say to that? It was the truth. "I-"

She swallowed again, and her gaze darted across the dance floor before it settled on him. "It's...It was a rough time," she finally admitted quietly.

"I know that you overheard...that conversation between Rhys and I...before we went to that ball in Hewn City," Cassian said quietly. "I shouldn't have...it was an unkind thing to say."

Eira swallowed.   

Oh. He was talking about that. She had been very hurt at the time, of course. No one would have wanted to hear something like that, least of all from people that they had considered to be friends at the time. That had been unkind.  

We don’t need Eira. Quite frankly, it’s better if she doesn’t go. Elain is the prettier one, anyway.

He had said that, and Eira flinched faintly at the memory, and in response, Cassian grimaced. His hands almost tightened their grip on her, in a move of comfort, and she could hear the guilt in his voice when he spoke, the very real remorse in his tone.

"I was out of line when I said that," he told her, his voice thick. "I just...I hate Hewn City. And if I could keep everybody out of there...I would. I didn't want you anywhere near there. This is not me...not me trying to make what I said...any better. Because there is nothing I can say that makes it better."

Cassian sighed as they continued to dance, and his eyes were downcast.

"I...I was cruel. For my own convenience, yes, but that does not change the fact that it was a cruel thing to say...and I am very, very sorry."

There was a small knot forming in her throat, and Eira had to swallow it back before she spoke.

She...she believed him, she knew that he meant what he said. It didn't erase what he had said, or the way she had felt at the time, but she did believe him. "I-" She started, her voice cracking faintly. "I accept your apology, Cassian."

She saw him exhale audibly in relief, and some of the tension bled out of his shoulders.

There was clearly guilt weighing on his shoulders, so she felt the need to continue. "It...it hurt, you know?" she said quietly. "Hearing...what you said. But then, eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves."

Her mouth curled into the hint of a bitter smile, and she heard Cassian chuckle lowly.

"No, they don't," he agreed, and his answering smile echoed bitterly before he sighed audibly.

"I...don't expect you to ever forget about it," he said quietly, “or forgive me, for that matter. But...I just wanted to apologize. To try to make it right."

The knot in her throat was still there, but Eira forced a small smile onto her face. "You are a good male," she replied quietly.

"I...that's up for debate," Cassian said, clearly trying to make it a joke, but it just sounded flat instead.

She could see the guilt that was clearly weighing down his shoulders though, and the regret in his eyes.

"You are," she assured him.

"You make him happy, you know?" Cassian said quietly.

She knew he was talking about Azriel, and it made her cheeks heat again. Gods, the way she blushed whenever his brother was mentioned...it was bordering on ridiculous.

She didn't know what to say to that, to how to respond, and she could see the hint of a smirk form on Cassian's lips. "I've never seen him the way he is when he's with you,” he drawled.

"I..." Eira's eyes darted away, feeling a little self-conscious. "Azriel is...he's very dear to me," she admitted, her voice going quiet when she met his eye again.

Cassian's answering smile was small but entirely genuine, and he gave a faint nod.

"I can tell," he said quietly. “Do you know that that pelt he gave you means?” Cassian asked her and Eira could just stare at him. What?

The Pelt wasn’t around her shoulders right now. She had shrugged it off before the first dance and had instead been draped over the back of her chair back at the table.  Now though…now she wished the soft fur would be back to wrapping around her. 

“Every Illyrian Male gifts his bride a coat for her wedding. Made out of pelts he hunted,” Cassian said quietly. “A show of…their ability to provide in a way. A claim.”

She swallowed. Azriel had given her…he had given her the equivalent of a bridal gift? He hadn’t even hesitated to offer up the pelts when she had refused to let him pay her. 

And now…now she found out their significance…what they meant for him, for his culture…It was…startling. 

She wasn’t quite sure what to think of it.

The music came to an end, and their dance as well.

She watched Nesta make her way across the room to them. "Azriel is dancing with Feyre....Rhys is deep in conversation with Kallias," she said. "Can I steal my mate, or do you still need him?"

"Steal away," Eira said with a laugh. "I'll get myself something to drink."

"Are you sure?" her sister asked gently but Eira nodded.

"I am not alone," she said easily. Not when she could still feel the shadows twirling through her skirts.

Cassian gave her a final smile before he let go of her, taking the hand that Nesta offered him and letting himself be dragged back onto the dancefloor.

Eira exhaled quietly when she was left alone, and as promised, she made her way to the small table where drinks were being served. The shadows followed her there, swirling around her skirts and occasionally touching her skin, caressing her.

She also got a good view of the orchestra, her eyes immediately drawn to the harpist.

She was good. Real good. Eira stood there for a few minutes sipping her drink as the harpist played, watching her as her fingers danced across the strings of the harp. It made her want to pick up her own more often, as her practising was finally resulting in songs that actually sounded like songs and no more screeching that only Nyx seemed to enjoy.

"Do you play?" A question came from her right and her head snapped towards a tall male. Utterly pale, his hair white, his eyes ice blue, but a warm smile on his face.

She gave a small nod in response. "Yes, I...I do," she agreed and forced a small smile onto her face. The stranger was wearing a coat of grey, trimmed with fur...Winter Court maybe? Eira wasn't quite sure.

"I couldn't help but notice that you were watching the harpist," the male continued. His eyes and voice were soft, a sharp contrast to his hard, cold exterior. "You play the harp, don't you?"

He had a nice voice, she realized, warm and smooth.

"I-" Eira started faintly, surprised that he'd noticed that, and that he guessed correctly. Her eyes flickered to the harpist for a moment, before they went back to the male. "Yes," she admitted quietly. "I do play."

A smile curled on his lips as that, his expression almost gentle when he spoke. "You must have wonderful skill then," he said, almost like he was complimenting her...and Eira just blinked stupidly at him. "The harp is a beautiful instrument, but...also one of the hardest to master."

There was no sarcasm or mockery or anything like that in his voice, and it took her a moment to realize that he was actually complimenting her and that it was genuine.

"I...I wouldn't say I have mastered it, but..." she said quietly after a few moments. "I...I'm doing alright, I suppose."

The male chuckled quietly, and his eyes glimmered as he looked at her. "You are humble in addition to being talented," he said quietly, with the ghost of a smirk on his face.

Again, she was taken aback for a moment. Compliments were not...something she was used to receiving from strangers. "I am Kleon," he introduced himself finally. 

"Eira," she replied quietly in reflex, and the ghost of a smile stayed on his lips as she spoke.

"Eira," he repeated back quietly, and almost almost as if he was tasting her name in his mouth. "What a beautiful name."

Her eyebrows flickered faintly at his words, another compliment, and surprise flashed through her.

"That's...kind of you to say," she replied awkwardly.

"Will you do me the honour of a dance?"

The request came out of nowhere, completely unexpected, and she found herself blinking in shock yet again. He...he wanted to dance with her?

She found herself gaping for a few moments before she finally forced a small, but awkward smile on her face. "I-"

"Please," he practically purred, and she found herself unable to say no. "It wouldn't be a proper celebration without me stealing a dance with the most beautiful female in the room."

Her cheeks flushed darkly in response, completely overwhelmed by the compliment, and it only got worse when he chuckled quietly. "There is nothing to be shy about," he said, clearly amused by her reaction. "I'm just speaking the truth."

Surprise and disbelief shot through her for a moment, before a small, slightly disbelieving laugh escaped her. "I think you overestimate me," Eira said a bit breathlessly.

"I don't think I do," he replied easily, and a hint of a smile curled on his lips again. "You're beautiful, that's a fact. As is my intention to steal a dance with you, if you would be agreeable to it."

The shadows stayed quiet, silent…as long as they didn’t want her in any danger, Eira supposed that refusing this…Kleon would probably be considered impolite. Her mother would have had her head for it after all. 

She was attending a ball, so she was required to dance with every man who paid her just the littlest bit of attention in the hope that maybe one of them had any marriageable brothers, sons or nephews…or maybe he himself made out to be a good match. 

(Which for her mother mostly had only meant money and power. In every imaginable way.)

“One dance,” Eira agreed quietly. 

Something flashed through his eyes, something satisfied. "One dance," Kleon repeated, and extended his hand to her, an invitation to take it.

One dance. 

He was a good dancer. She would give him that compliment, peppering her with questions about the music, her likes and dislikes.

Kleon was charming and had manners, and didn't do a thing to make her uncomfortable, and there was a smoothness to him that could have been utterly thralling ...if it were not for the fact that he wasn't Azriel.

But that was the thing. The conversation, the questions, the compliments...none of it could truly lure her in, because there was only one male in that room that could ever lure her in, and that was Azriel.

There was only one male that she was truly interested in. 

The song ended and she forced a smile onto her face as they came to a stop, her hand still in his. "Thank you for the dance," she said quietly, politely.

"Thank you for indulging me," he replied smoothly, and there was that hint of a smile on his lips again.

He released her hand, but his fingers lingered a few moments as if he was reluctant to release it. "I've enjoyed myself," he added quietly.

"I...I'm glad," she replied faintly, and she actually was glad. She had enjoyed herself. The conversation had been pleasant, and he had been a good dance partner.

There was just no spark. No fire in her veins. No pull to him.

Not like it felt with her mate.

A ghost of a smile curled on her lips at the thought. No, nothing like that. That was all reserved for Azriel. For...her mate. Her mate, and no one else.

"Making nice with the Winter Court?" Asked Rhys drily behind her.

She had to suppress the urge to startle at the sound of Rhysand's voice suddenly behind her, but she did jump a little. Eira turned around to look at him, and a small, sheepish laugh escaped her as she did. "He asked to dance with me," she explained quietly. "So I said yes."

"And that's the only reason you said yes?" Rhys inquired, in that infuriating neutral kind of tone he tended to use.

She just stared at him. 

 "I didn't want to be impolite," she confirmed. "It would have been rude to refuse," Eira said, her voice certain, and even just saying the words out loud...made her feel surprisingly defiant.

She could practically see that Rhys had been surprised by her confidence, but there was no sarcasm or mockery in his express

"How very polite of you," he said quietly, and she swore he almost sounded amused.

She felt more than heard Azriel behind her, reaching a hand back only to feel his own in hers seconds later. The pelt was draped over her shoulder, with a gentle touch, utterly polite, but she could feel his fingertips trail over her arms, a shiver escaping her.

Even the briefest touch from him sent a shiver down her spine, and a warm feeling rushing through her body. She could practically sense the shadows curling around her skirts again, trying to get closer.

"Having fun?" Azriel murmured into her ear, his voice low. There was a hint of something to it, the edge of possessiveness, and his hand gave hers a small, almost imperceptible squeeze.

"I like dancing with you more," she answered honestly.

Azriel's lips curled up in a small smile at her words, and his hand gave hers another small squeeze.

"Then let us dance," he said quietly, as his free hand went to her waist to gently guide her back towards the dance floor. The shadows trailing after them and swirling around their feet, clinging on to both of them.

Their hands were still intertwined when they came to a stop, and she placed her hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her hand.

She couldn't help the content sigh that escaped her when he pulled her closer, so she was pulled flush against him. It was more swaying in one spot than proper dancing...but they were at the edges, not bothering anybody.

There was a content look on Azriel's face as they swayed in one place like he was just happy being able to hold her close. 

Shadows were swirling around them, curling around her skirts and his legs, as if they were trying to get closer to them both. It almost made Eira laugh faintly.

"Your shadows are clingy," she teased, in a quiet voice.

"They are," Azriel agreed, and his voice was just as quiet. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, and his free hand tightened around her waist as he added, "They like being close to you."

"Oh, they like being close to me, hm?" Eira said faintly, still mostly teasing. A small, amused smile on her lips as shadows coiled more around her and tried to get between them as if to prove Azriel's point."Are you sure they're not just being clingy because you like being close to me?"

It was a brazen thing to do, and she didn’t dare to look at him as she said it, as she felt the sharp inhale…but then he tipped up her face with a single finger so that she was forced to look at her. 

His eyes were green and brown and gold, and he looked at her with an expression… an expression that she couldn’t quite place. Sweet and soft and warm and it made her feel…safe. 

“They are a part of me,” Azriel said simply, like that explained everything. 

And she supposed, in a way it did. 

[toskarin]

I haven't read the VNs yet, but the way you're talking about hollow ataraxia reminds me of how I felt watching Emiya-san Gohan, it was so incredibly nice

I'd heard it called a fandisc in the past and I thought it meant it was made by fans or something, but it actually means an official sequel??

hollow ataraxia is VERY similar to emiya gohan, to the point where they often adapt the same stories from different angles

also just because it comes up fairly often, a fandisk is always official! it means a disc for fans, not by them, that's usually released to capitalise on celebrate a game's success

you can kind of think of them as "standalone expansions" most of the time, when they're not doing something freaky like Hollow Ataraxia and ending up at about half the original game's full runtime. in that case it's easier to just think of it as a follow-up

[jariten]

Manga I've read that were licensed in english in 2022-2023

Meant to do this roundup forever but I some pleasant surprises the last 2 years when I saw these titles I enjoyed in Japanese be licensed/re-released in English and wanted to do a very short roundup. I unfortunately can't attest to the quality of the print editions or the translations as I haven't been able to justify a double purchase just yet but still recommend these as fun and interesting reads. (Also using the JPN covers since the pub websites and store listings have kind of bad image quality lately....)

Ramen Wolf and Curry Tiger by Emboss [Seven Seas, trans. Nan Rymer] (Furry and human cast, gay but not because of any overt romance)

Thermae Romae: The Complete Omnibus by Mari Yamazaki [Yen Press, trans. Stephen Paul] (Time slip comedy connecting ancient roman and Japanese bath culture, semi-recent anime adaption on Netflix, sequel manga series currently on Jump+)

One More Step, Come Stand by My Side by Toryumon Takeda [Yen Press, trans. Jason Moses] (One shot collection, impressive art, wide span of themes and settings, most of the stories were originally self published)

The Secret of Friendship by Kazune Kawahara & Aiji Yamakawa [Seven Seas, trans. Hana Allen] (High School setting, exploration of friendship and romance and how it might conflict, little gay if im being honest)

Gold Kingdom and Water Kingdom by Nao Iwamoto [Seven Seas, trans. Alan Cheng & Rowena Chen] (The sweeping tale of rivaling kingdoms, adapted into an acclaimed anime movie in 2023, imo we need more Nao Iwamoto translated she's kinda brilliant)

[royal-ruin]

red, white, and royal blue fanfic rec (part 3)

other rwrb fic recs here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

the too much that you aren't by DemonPoxHerondale (~2k)

Henry has always been an introvert. High energy situations can get overwhelming, and as much as he loves his boyfriend, it's impossible to deny that he's high energy. Back when they were sneaking around to see each other, the short bursts of interaction meant that they never really clashed. But now that they're living together, well, it's another story.

as an introvert, i get it

champagne problems by alec_rhee (~3k)

Henry’s eyes are otherwise occupied as he closes them, planting a kiss to Alex’s head, but Alex sees Benjamin’s eyes move to Henry’s lap. Where they stay for at least five seconds.  Alex knows; he’s counted. “Look, Benjamin,” Alex begins. “I know we just met but if you look at my man like that one more time I will not hesitate to punch you in your fucking face.” “Alex!” Henry yelps, withdrawing his lips from Alex’s curls. “What on God’s earth are you doing?” “Look,” He says again, his attention still focused on Benjamin. “He’s damn gorgeous. I don’t blame you for looking. I truly don’t, but he’s taken. Happily.” OR Jealous!Alex

jealous/protective alex made my entire day

don't go where i can't follow by coffeecatsme (~4k

Henry turns away, hair silvery under the moonlight. He doesn’t even bother to look at Alex, and something like anger flashes in Alex’s gut when he sees him reach for his backpack, like it’s that easy to abandon Alex, like Alex didn’t bare his heart to him just a day ago. “You could’ve fucking said goodbye,” he whispers before he can think about it; his voice is quiet through the knot in his throat, yet it echoes in the room like a gunshot, stopping Henry in his tracks. Alex wakes up at the lakehouse before Henry leaves.

angsty, but i swear it gets better

in violent symphonies by saltfics (~16k) part 2 of a series (doesn't need to be read)

“So that’ll be a fun surprise. Any chance your brother’s friends are actually… you know… any fun?” Henry halts to a stop halfway out the door, his mind screeching like a shaken record. He can feel the pull of his memory towards things he doesn’t want to think of, feels the heavy weight of it as he forces himself to focus on something else, fast so he won't acknowledge towards which twice locked door his thoughts are wandering.  Sequel to In White (but could potentially be read without it).  When Henry and Alex return to England for the christening of the new baby prince, Henry finds out his nephew's new godfather might be a terribly familiar face.  Sometimes it doesn't matter how deep you lock away a memory if it insists on showing up at your door. (But maybe you can ask for help to keep it out.)

i love henry angst :)

those markings on your skin by saltfics (~62k) incomplete

Originally a collection of one-shots based on Tumblr Prompts, but now a series of interconnected prompt-based chapters regarding a series of assassination attempts towards HRH Prince Henry, and the effect on their relationships with each other that comes with it, featuring most of the main cast. (Plus a few standalones in between).

fair warning, i haven't read it all, so i don't know everything it contains. please beware of the tags.

Home Safe by HMS_Chill (~2k)

Alex is out later than normal, and Henry is left home to worry.

as you can see, after i read God Save the Blessed American President Mom by zipadeea i got just a little obsessed. no mcd here though.

*lifelines by indomitablelove (~27k

Shaan is told by a woman from the press office. Zahra is asleep when he calls her. She calls Ellen. Liam is in the library. Oscar finds out from Twitter. Catherine hears it from her equerry when she gets the morning papers. It's Leo who tells June. --- or, the emails. From everyone else's point of view.

Lockdown by bibliosoph (~4k)

Alex and Henry have a fight before Henry leaves to go to England for a bit. While in England, there is an attempted assassination and Alex loses his mind because he can't get in touch with anyone and he left things with Henry up in the air.

don't worry, there's no mcd, just alex angst.

*Soon You'll Get Better (Because You Have To) by wafflesandkruge  (~4k)

Two nights after the shooting, Henry receives an email with a pre-recorded video from Alex. He gets one every night, and although it breaks his heart to see Alex happy and alive, he's terrified of when they'll stop coming.

i wasn't lying when i said i was obsessed. no mcd.

[ghostofafruit]

So i'm working on a lot of fics at the moment, the oneshots will continue as I always have with loose hope that i'll finish them before I lose interest in them but I have several multi chapter/longform fics I wish to work on. There is a poll at the bottom of this post and I just want to get a guide idea for what people would want first, below are the four longer fics I'm trying to finish and get out and a little description about them.

Martha/Rose Season 3 onwards rewrite - A Martha/Rose multichapter rewrite of season 3 featuring less leading on of Martha, a role swap between Rose and the Doctor, and an actual relationship. Would probably contain immortal/bad wolf Rose.

Rose and Ten in the MCU - A doctorrose long oneshot (It was meant to be maybe 5k and I haven't even gotten to my main points for writing it yet and it's over double that). They've crashed into the MCU and they can't get the Tardis to start back up again, she won't even do a short jump within the universe, so they're stuck on Earth and have to settle down. Rose becomes an English teacher at Peter's school. Later into the year there's a fieldtrip to stark industries, and the Doctor and Rose get the help of Peter and Tony to get back home. (I actually have a sequel planned too, a human nature/family of blood rewrite where the Doctor crashes them into that universe to hide out)

Married Life - a season 2 onwards multichapter rewrite starting at the werewolf episode going forward Each chapter alternates between an episode rewrite and an original, hopefully more relaxed, adventure.

It's not really a secret - originally intended as a multichapter Merlin fic, inspired by a prompt from @onceandfuturelesbian in which Uther finds out about Merlin's magic and tries to kill him for it. The first chapter came out over a year ago and I've been really struggling with it. Now it is intended to be finished as a longer oneshot with Merthur happening around halfway through.

Rose Tyler's guide to becoming a superhero - Immortal Rose Tyler is trying to get back to her birth universe after her family are all gone (she's in her 300s she wanted to hang around and explore that universe) but her one attempt on the canon lands her not in her original universe but one full of heros and villains. Her brother Tony had liked comics, though she never had, and through him and her hazy memory of his rambles about his comics, she has a pretty rough idea of what's going on. She starts out as a teacher, but one of her students is Peter Parker and that name rings a bell from Tony's ramblings. It takes a little while, but she realises he's Spider-Man and sets on to help him however she can. Good thing Bad Wolf left behind a couple things more than just immortality.

[nostalgebraist]

comments on almost nowhere for new readers

A few points that may be useful to people who didn't read Almost Nowhere before it was complete, but who are planning to read it now. (AKA "archival readers," as opposed to "serial readers.")

(1)

You'll want to read it fast enough that you don't lose track of the plot.

But, you probably shouldn't read it as quickly as you can. If you "binge-read" it over a very short span of time, some of the effect will be dulled or lost.

When planning out the story, I thought a lot about the reader's evolving state of knowledge. "What the reader knows" was almost like a character unto itself, and an important one.

For example:

I tried to create a enjoyable, continual "rotation" of mysteries, with new questions arising at the same time that old questions get answered, repeatedly across the course of the book.

In between the point when a question is raised and the point when it finally gets a definitive answer, I often tried to create a succession of interesting intermediate states. For example, the reader might first encounter something important in the form of an enigmatic, unexplained name or phrase, mentioned incidentally. Later, the same term starts appearing more often, and gets more coloration, and this coloration is different each time, so that the sum total of "what the reader knows" traces out a series of different "shapes" over time.

So you'll have the most fun if you stop regularly to savor your current state of knowledge. The questions that haven't been answered yet, the partial glimpses you've seen of things you don't fully get. Maybe even go back and re-read earlier bits, if you like.

(1b)

All that said, I also want to caution against viewing the book as a puzzle you're meant to be able to solve on your own, like a "fair-play whodunit."

I intended it to be fun for the reader to wonder about how the questions will be answered, but there's no pretense of playing fair. And that "fun" is often more aesthetic and thematic than it is intellectual.

(2)

Almost Nowhere is divided into 3 parts.

You can see them if you look at the table of contents. In Part 1, the chapter titles are Roman numerals. In Part 2, chapters have verbal titles, together with Arabic numerals that start over from zero. In Part 3, the Roman numerals resume again.

The three parts tell a single continuous story, and share most of the same major characters. But each one is somewhat distinct in its style, tone, themes, and areas of focus, and each one extends the scope of the plot considerably.

Maybe the closest comparison-point is a trilogy of SF/F novels, where each of the sequels is clearly "its own book" that feels distinct from the other two books, while still continuing the story in a coherent way.

I mention this here in the hope that these transitions will be less jarring if you're prepared in advance for them.

(2b)

In another, more "spiritual" sense, Almost Nowhere really has just two parts.

The transition happens at Chapter 13, which could fairly be grouped either into the first or the second part, or both, or neither.

Why? Up through Chapter 12, my planning for future events had been fairly slapdash and vague. I was still in the "throw stuff at the wall so I can create the real story by looking for patterns in it later" stage of my unusual creative process.

After Chapter 12, I thought "okay, that's enough of that. Vague inklings of the future aren't sufficient anymore. It's time to get start being more serious about my planning. It's time to 'create the real story.'"

So I did a bunch of that, and it profoundly shaped everything from Chapter 13 onward. (I don't know how obvious this transition would be if you didn't know about it beforehand; to me it feels very obvious, but maybe deceptively so.)

It goes deeper than that. Chapter 13 is tonally different than any of the preceding ones -- darker, more personal, with a new focus on obsession, bittersweet reflection on the past, regret, resignation. And, semi-accidentally, that ended up setting the tone for the whole rest of the book.

It's not all like that afterwards, to the same extent. But that stuff is always there, at least in the background.

I don't know if this is actually useful to know or not, but I felt like mentioning it, so there it is.

(3)

Like Floornight and TNC before it, Almost Nowhere is a hybrid.

It combines elements from a number of different genres and story types that would not normally be seen alongside one another. At the same time, it doesn't really belong to any of the genres or story types that it draws from.

This aspect of my fiction tends to elicit bimodal responses. When I mix one type of story with another, it tends to come off either as the best-of-both-worlds or the worst-of-both-worlds, depending on the reader.

Some people see five individually good "normal" books, merged into one and singing in harmony. And people see five half-assed attempts to do five different things, without following through on the promises of any one of them.

For example, I noted above that I put a lot of care into setting up mysteries, and I expected the reader to be very aware of them. And I also noted that the story isn't very rewarding if treated like a puzzle that can be "solved" in advance.

But some people are going to see the mysteries, and the care put into them, and think, "ah, I know (and enjoy) this genre, this is a puzzle you're supposed to work out in advance." And these people aren't wrong; it does kind of look like that, especially at the beginning.

Likewise, Almost Nowhere has several chapters that explain math and physics concepts to the characters and to the reader -- either real ones, or fictitious ones that have some pretense of continuity with real math and physics. Sometimes these get very involved, in the manner of Stephenson or Egan.

A reader who sees this stuff, and thinks "ah, I know (and enjoy) this genre," is likely to be disappointed when they discover that the story is not really about math or physics in any deep way. Certainly not about real math or physics. The invented "physics" is closer to the core of it, but less so than some other things -- and anyway, there is more of pure fantasy to it than serious scientific extrapolation.

Like Floornight, AN is arguably "best" described as a fantasy story, and not the GoT kind of fantasy -- the highly aestheticized, thematic, emotional kind of fantasy, where "feels" and "vibes" are almost literally magic and drive everything from the inside out.

But if you read it for that genre, specifically, it may feel odd that it keeps lapsing into long descriptions of nuts-and-bolts plot mechanics, and into laborious explanations of made-up technobabble. Or into setting up "puzzles" that almost feel solvable-in-advance.

Or just, like, being written in this really weird, particular, often opaque style.

I can't just say "leave all your genre preconceptions at the door," as if it were that simple -- as though one could just do that by force of will. But be aware that the elements you recognize, from other fiction, may not be there for the usual reasons.

But they are there for a reason.

When I think about why I write, I often come back to an answer that Andrew Hussie gave on Formspring long ago:

Q: Do you enjoy your own work? I mean if Homestuck was made by someone else and not you, is it the kind of thing you would like reading [...]? A: I am making the kind of thing I would want to read. I am making the kind of thing I wish existed, but doesn't. Yet.

I am doing that, too. I'm taking elements from all over, and building something else out of them. It looks deceptively like the sources it draws from, but it's very different from any of them, underneath.

If it had already existed, it would not have been necessary for me to invent it.

(4)

As I mentioned in the last bullet point, Almost Nowhere is written in a very particular style.

This style gets better-defined over time, and more ossified, and possibly more extreme. (Chapter 13 played the same role in this process as it did in various others, for instance.)

At various times, I've said that Almost Nowhere is my favorite of my stories, or the most ambitious or accomplished one, or the one I like most on re-reading. And that is all true -- in certain senses, anyway.

But I don't want to convey the impression that I think the "Almost Nowhere house style" is like, the epitome of Good Writing or something. Or even that it's my best writing, necessarily. It simply is what it is, as much for consistency's sake as anything else.

(I confess there were times when I looked back on something I'd just wrote, and thought to myself: "I'm not actually sure this is, like, good. Maybe it isn't. But is is definitely Almost-Nowherey, that's for sure." And then I let it stand, for that reason.)

In the best-case scenario, you'll find that you greatly enjoy the "Almost Nowhere house style." If it's not to your taste, hopefully you will find it at least tolerable enough that you can access and enjoy other aspects of the book.

But if you find that really dislike the style, this book is probably not for you, sorry.

It's over 300,000 words, and they're all like that. I wouldn't want someone to force themselves through 300k words while hating every one of them, in the name of finding out what happens, or being a nostalgebraist completionist, or whatever.

[jiubilant]

Possibly odd question: i found your ao3 and read the fics but they all appeared to be microfiction while a lot of your posts infer a longer fic. Dis i just overlook it somehow?

not an odd question. thanks for reading!

i've been picking for the past few years at a tes v multichapter sequel that i haven't finished yet 💖 it's not currently available to read anywhere. i've been reluctant to publish it piecemeal because i'd hate to stall out on it and leave it sitting around unfinished but i might change my mind about that lol. i've wavered a few times

the first "volume" is onmund's account of a strange season spent at the high queen's court in the service of the archmage of winterhold, queen's wizard, magnus-come-again, etc. the second (which i've roughly sketched out plotwise but am not working on at the moment) is a certain legionary's account of her desertion and subsequent madcap flight across tamriel. taken together the volumes are meant to wrap up the increasingly left-of-canon storylines i've developed for ayo and ravi and shurri

anyway—all the short pieces i've posted exist in the same continuity as the multichapter piece and sometimes vaguely reference it but my hope is that they still tell engaging stories both as standalones + when taken as parts of a larger story unfolding in small installments

[clacing]

Hi, I'm dumb so forgive me if this question has an easy answer; is there a viewing order for Revstar? I'm trying to get into it, but I have been putting it off because I couldn't tell where to start

I assume you just mean the anime, but since there are also a bunch of stage plays and spin-offs and a gacha game, here's an overview and my personal opinion on a good viewing order:

You should definitely watch the anime first. It's only 12 episodes but it spends so much time developing each and every character and making you truly feel for them, plus it's the most experimental piece of media in the franchise and where the Utena influences are the most visible, so it's a treat to watch. I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion or what, but the stage plays didn't do nearly as much to develop the characters or their relationships with each other due to the obvious time constraints, so if that's your first run-in with the franchise you'll probably be disappointed

3 OVAs which take place during the finale and which I didn't know existed for the longest time. They're short and sweet and have some good character interaction, though you don't really have to watch them

I know there's a manga prequel with nine chapters introducing each of the nine girls + a bonus chapter that takes place after the finale. I haven't read it though

Rondo Rondo Rondo: it's a movie recapping the series from a slightly different perspective and including new scenes. You don't have to watch it but I'd still check out the new scenes on Youtube at least, especially the one after the end credits which is a direct lead-in to Gekijouban

Gekijouban Revue Starlight: the sequel movie. Absolute masterpiece, required viewing, budget was off the charts, elevates the series to new levels etc. etc.

As for the stage plays, again, I recommend watching them after the anime if you're interested. Doesn't really matter if you watch them right after the anime or after Gekijouban because the stage plays have their own plot that is only tangentially related to the anime, but they do have to be watched in a specific order:

The LIVE #1

The LIVE #2 - Transition

The LIVE Online (prequel to #3, not really required but a fun time)

The LIVE #3 - Growth

The LIVE Seiran - Blue Glitter (spin-off about characters introduced in #2 and #3, though I believe because of COVID it ended up coming out before #3 - personally I haven't watched it 'cause I don't really care, but I've heard good things)

The LIVE Edel Delight (I'll be real I know this ties in to the gacha game somehow which I don't play, so I haven't seen this either and don't really know how this fits into the timeline)

The STAGE Junior High Regalia (prequel about characters introduced in Edel Delight)

The LIVE #4 - Climax (this only came out in Japan this year so I don't think there are subtitles yet, but I'll be watching when they come out)

As for the gacha game, I don't play it but there's a lot of content which cross-references either the anime or the stage plays so I'll just direct you to this post (meant to just share the original one but Tumblr won't let me click on the original post to get the link) which also includes a guide about the viewing/playing order. Overall I think you could start playing after watching like, the anime + Gekijouban + possibly the first two stage plays?

PLEASE don't feel threatened by all of this btw. You can just watch the 12-episode anime and Gekijouban and be perfectly fine 'cause everything else is just extra. I've only watched the anime stuff and the first four stage plays I mentioned 'cause the gacha game and later stage plays add too many characters for me to keep up with

[generalluxun]

So, within the context of Adrien Needs a Hug & if you take it as canon, Chloe Could use a Hug, how do you think the class, & others are responding to Adrien & Chloe's renewed friendship & her efforts to change ETC?

I swear I answered this. Maybe it didn't send.

I still haven't read all of your sequel yet, I will tonight, life has been life. 😭 I think the result would be an armistice, not an alliance. No one is going to shift overnight, and no one on any side has much REASON to really go all in. There will likely be improvements, successes, failures, changes, backtracking.

It's not meant to be a quick fix. It's mostly just a cessation of hostilities.

[ussjellyfish]

Elemental asks: Lightning, spirit and fall

Lightning: What’s the most shocking plot twist you’ve ever come up with?

Once I blew up Earth. It was while I was watching Battlestar Galactica and I felt kind of grim dark, so I did. It happened off screen, but then my characters (from Stargate Atlantis) could never go home again and had to build a new home.

Spirit: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received on your writing?

I get so many little beautiful compliments. People make me art sometimes. Once someone had me sign a fic I wrote. People name their sims after babies I gave the characters in a fic...It's really lovely how much quiet, mind-blowingly wonderful feedback fanfic writers can get, and I'm so grateful I can experience that connection, because it's so wonderful to have a sense of community.

Fall: Have you ever completely abandoned a WIP?  What led to that decision.

A few times. Once I came back 18 months later and finished it because someone asked nicely on a podcast.

I have two that I'm stalled on right now.

In Small Packages - Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak, Mirror Philippa Georgiou/Katrina Cornwell. It's a little sequel to Firefly where the canon-ish Michael meets a little kid from Firefly and then meets the other Laira, who has lived a very different life. (Laira and Michael are together and really domestic in one universe, not together in the other)

It needs one more chapter and I'm pretty sure what happens and I need to sit down and write it and...I haven't yet. I was going to write two more, one where Michael gets to the other universe but that's a lot of world building and dialogue with many people and that part is intimidating me so...it might get one chapter from Laira's pov where Michael comes back and tells her what she saw, because that sounded nice.

I haven't updated that since April.

The other one I've stalled on is Quantum Variations on a Love Theme (Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak), which is really long, and me stalling on that one is entirely me having feelings that aren't helping the fic.

The people I wrote that one with (where we talked about the headcanons and I dedicated chapters to them) don't talk to me anymore. (they're very busy and our relationship is just...changing. We're growing apart, and that's okay. that happens, but opening up that file makes me sad. Sharing it with them really meant so much to me and one of them stopped reading many chapters ago and the other didn't even tell me when she'd read the finale and I am sad about that.

It's a really good birth scene. I killed it and...the people I was most immersed with, that I told everything too, are gone. It doesn't really matter to them. I don't really matter to them, and that's really hard. (this isn't true, of course, people grow away and it doesn't mean they don't love me, it's just not perhaps in the way I'd like to be loved).

So that fic represents...loss and my feelings of abandonment, and it's hard for me to go back to it and say, well, this is mine. It doesn't matter if you're not here and you're not going to bounce ideas off with me and you're not going to read it, I can still tell this story. I still want to tell this story.

It's the 12th longest fic in entire Star Trek Discovery tag and I've been working on it since January 2022. Often I struggle with what happens after the baby arrives in a long fic where someone is pregnant. Babies are great, but they're also exhausting and the characters are exhausted and the falling action is hard for me. The character's arc was getting through that process and she did and now...

So I'm a little lost on that one. I think I could wrap it up ish in a chapter, and I'll probably get there just not as soon as I'd like.

It also wouldn't be terrible if it ended there. The characters are happy, they went on a great journey together and I had fun writing it and it has some of my best work in it, it just feels sad instead of joyful at the moment.

[furiousfinnstan]

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

omg hi you are so lucky I'm actually reading this year

books

Peluda is a poetry book I read because I randomly remembered how much Melissa's slam poetry meant to me as a teenager, probably not everyone's cup of tea but I loved it!Spera is a comic I started solely because its been on my to read list forever aakwskjwwwk it's fine! sometimes even great,the writing has its hits and misses but I'm willing to read it thru the end,also love the baby dyke vibes of the leads.THE COMPANION IS GREAT EVERYONE SHOULD READ COMPANION IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW HISTORICAL ROMANCE WITH A TRANS LEAD THIS IS IT!!! I'm in the middle of Amina al-Sirafi but it's so well written I can confidently recommend it to people(fyi it's not a standalone the sequel is being written so keep that in mind)

tv shows

I've watched so many things it was hard to pick...

Ok I think u maybe have started HOTD?I'm not sure I'm too lazy to check rn sorry😔if you haven't I would give it a shot because the acting is NUTS!truly nuts I love it!but everything else Idk😐 Ive yet to finish season one we shall see how I feel about it.IWTV is fucking amazing everyone who loves horror needs to see it however spoiler alert there was no evil gay sex in season 2 because they lost the 22pm time slot.also another spoiler lestat is going to be the lead in s3 and I'm not sure that's going to go well.FALLOUT!!!does a lot of interesting things but it can be very tame in comparison to the games which is very sad,I would still at least give it a shot.BIG MOOD IS AMAZING EFFERVESCENT ETC ETC THAT ENDING WAS CHILLING YOU NEEEED TO SEE IT. and than tomorrow 2022 and acolyte 🤡ok tomorrow is a decent fantasy show about grim reapers tho idk if the tone would work for everyone so keep that in mind, however the female lead...I think you will really enjoy her.and acolyte is well 🤡🤡🤡 akkswkkek it's fun!it's moody!it has great action and horrible pacing!never have I been more pissed at the streaming model

Albums

I actually rarely listen to albums I'm sorry 😭😭

I listened to dopamine by normani,that debut by artms,Megan thee stallion new album and fetish by she pleasures herself ajkajanjwwkkkkke I think you would enjoy fetish and Megan's record!

[queer-reader-07]

I'll help you procrastinate!

What were your favorite books as a child, and what are your favorite books now?

Also, I need book recs. Preferably fantasy or sci-fi, but I'm not opposed to other genres.

you, my friend, have no idea what you've just gotten yourself into

my favorite childhood books were definitely the Magic Treehouse books and Percy Jackson! (although i'm still a huge Rick Riordan fan to this day)

i say my number one spot is tied between The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver (a truly beautiful YA t4t romcom that i WILL peddle until my dying breath). and Dune by Frank Herbert! (the duality of man, if you will). i've written many a long winded pieces on Dune but if you haven't read it already go do that <3

i also read a lot more nonfiction nowadays, usually feminist & liberationist literature & memoir! (and ofc my fair share of romcoms and occasional litfic... as i say this i'm realizing that aside from horror i kind of read it all 😅)

SFF book recs!! (i'll throw in some other genres at the end if you do decide to branch out 👀)

i am a HUGE Octavia Butler fan so i'm going to recommend Dawn & The Parable of the Sower

Dawn is the first in the Xenogenesis/Lilith's Brood series (and i will admit that i have yet to read the sequels, don't come for me i'm ass at finishing series). I love this novel for how it discusses what it means to be human through explorations of race and gender in the wake of an apocalyptic event. I'd also class this novel under "it's about hope if you pay attention enough" which is a huge thing for me

The Parable of the Sower is part of a duology (which i have finished!) although was meant to be a longer series, unfortunately Butler passed before finishing it. this is the book that had me going "this woman is a profit" because of how much the events of the novel remind me of the modern day. set in the 2020s in the wake of climate and economic collapse, we follow Lauren, a teenager with hyper empathy (a condition she has due to her mom's drug use during pregnancy) as she not only works to survive in a crumbling society but also build a new future for humanity. this is another story that i believe is at its core about hope, but that specific kind of hope that can only exist because of the despair one has experienced. a hope borne out of a refusal to accept destruction as the only way forward. a hope borne out of a love for humanity.

A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers!!! this is a soft, quiet, tender story about a robot who just wants to learn what humans need. and this robot starts to learn that when it encounters a monk who just wants to be in the wilderness alone to find their true calling in life.

Babel by RF Kuang is one of those books that i will fully admit is a tad bit condescending to the reader but nonetheless i find it a great and engaging place to start when it comes to literature that explores the violent ramifications of colonialism. like yes it overexplains things that i think could've been left to subtext, but i will also point to it before i point to academia, ya know?

The Ninth Rain by Jen Williams follows a main character who is like if Indiana Jones was a Black lesbian in a fantasy world and better. i call this one "not necessarily adventure gone wrong but rather adventure became far larger and graver than you could have ever imagined." empires on the brink of collapse, a species of creatures people don't quite understand are about to return, and the ninth rain is imminent. (also part of a series i have yet to finish, im sorry!!)

Masters of Death by Olivie Blake. this one has NG vibes but is written by a markedly better person!! the godson of Death, a vampire real estate agent trying to sell a house and a ghost haunting said house (he's quite the pain in the ass if you ask her), and some really high stakes games involving the literal gods; what could possibly go wrong? (specifically recommending the audiobook for this one, it was phenomenal!) (this one is also very gay!!)

ok now i'm gonna throw some non sff at you to try to get you out of your comfort zone :)

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong is a heartwrenching memoir-esque narrative of a queer boy writing to his mother in a language he knows she cannot read. it tells the story of what it's like to be an immigrant and the child of one, of what it means to be queer in a culture that doesn't accept you. it is, at its core, a story about the urgency of survival and the anguish of love that explores how we find joy in this broken mess of a world. (i read this one in a Gender in Lit and Film class i took my freshman year of highschool for a unit on masculinity and it has 100% shaped how i view and interact with masculinity especially in regards to race)

in a similar vein but not quite i'll also recommend Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin. written in the 50s, this is a heartbreaking story to two queer men falling passionately in love only for it all to be ripped apart. i've recommended this book before alongside the lyrics to Good Luck Babe! by Chappell Roan. "you can kiss a hundred boys in bars // shoot another shot just to stop the feeling // you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling"

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett is a novel i read right around when it came out back in 2020 and i really ought to revisit. it is, in my opinion, one of the best fictional explorations of what it means to be a mixed race person in the US. Bennett explores race in the United States through two twin sisters, both biracial, one who lives her life in the town they grew up in as a Black woman and the other out west as a White woman. told throughout generations their lives become more and more intertwined (were they ever really separate?).

probably my favorite memoir of all time is A Mind Spread Out on the Ground by Alicia Elliot which explores race, gender, colonization, and more through the lens of Elliot's experience as a mixed race, First Nations Indigenous woman. the title comes from the Mohawk phrase for depression and it is with the same urgency and feeling that that phrase evokes that Elliot writes all her essays with. I particularly think of her essay titled "Half Breed: A Racial Biography in Five Parts" because its exploration of the grief only felt by being mixed or having mixed children is deeply personal to me. however, all her essays have so much depth and emotion to offer.

i'm not sure if romance novels or YA contemporary are your thing but if you're interested shoot me another ask about those, didn't include them here since those are more "you like em or you don't" imo

ok that's all for now thank you for providing me this distraction and giving me a chance to go full special interest on you <33

[ga-yuu]

Ibuki Sequel Cute Moments Ft. Rikka Part 4

Yoshino is nervous about the next trial...

Ibuki: "Don't keep doing that..."

Ibuki touches her lips to prevent her from biting onto her lips.

Yoshino: *blushing* "Ah! I didn't realize I was doing that..."

Ibuki: *evil smile* "How about this? We can do more fun things with our lips and tongue."

Yoshino: *blushing even more and also feeling excited* "Like....?"

Ibuki: "Like..."

Few moments later....

Yoshino: "So the interesting thing to do with our lips and tongue......is this?"

Yoshino points at the alcohol sitting in-between them.

Ibuki: "Yep! What did you think?"

Yoshino: *blushing*

...............

Ibuki gets Yoshino drunk, obviously....

Yoshino gets closer to Ibuki and clings onto Ibuki while showing off her orgasm face.

Yoshino: *blushing* "What do I look like, in Ibuki's eyes?"

Ibuki: *smiles* "A kitten that meows a lot and shows her claws."

Yoshino: "Mm..." *Ibuki rubs her eyes*

Ibuki: "When I said to invite me next time when you have alcohol, did you not once think I'd do terrible things to you?"

Yoshino: *blushing* "Somewhere inside my heart, I'm sure that Ibuki won't do terrible things to me."

Ibuki: ".............."

...............

Rikka: "Hey Yoshino..."

Yoshino: "Oh Rikka! Hi. Are you also here to read books?"

Rikka: "No. I'm hiding from Kurama. He got very excited when he saw me."

Yoshino: "Oh! Looks like everyone tonight cannot calm down."

Rikka: "What are you doing? Your duty is only of the Shrine Maiden of Yomi, right? "

Yoshino: "You're right, but I still cannot abandon my role as a pharmacist. This is my personal wish."

Rikka: "............"

Rikka: *smiles and gets closer* "How about this? I can help you calm down."

Presses her against the wall and brings his face close to her. He brushes her hair and tucks it behind her ears. And for some reason the romantic soundtrack is playing in the background despite this not being Rikka route!

Yoshino: *blushing while feeling the cold fingertips*

Rikka: "How about spending a hot night with me? I can do better than Ibuki and Kurama together."

Blows into her ear.

Yoshino: *blushing* "Mm..Mm..."

Rikka: "We Yukijoro have the powers to bring heat to humans. Do you wanna try?"

His hand goes to touch her lower abdomen.

Yoshino: *blushing* "W-What!? You're just teasing me, right?"

Rikka: "No. I don't know why, but I wanna see you completely drowning in pleasure...."

Yoshino: *blushing* "Ah...Ah..!!?"

Ibuki: "Hello, this is my route!"

Yoshino: "Ah! Ibuki!"

Rikka: *sad face* "I see. Too bad."

Ibuki: *smiles* (because he saw another man making his crush horny)

..............

Ibuki: "The Yukijoro demons are mysterious. Did Tamamo not tell you anything? Demons like Rikka have the power to make humans horny to have sex with them."

Yoshino: *blushing* "S-S-So that's what Rikka meant?!?"

Ibuki: "Yeah. It's more effective than any kind of aphrodisiac...."

Yoshino: "So that's what he meant when he said he can do better than Kurama and Ibuki earlier..."

Ibuki: "Oh? How about before you judge, you taste mine too."

Pins her against the wall just like Rikka did earlier and kisses her ear. (This is a K-drama after all)

Yoshino: *blushing* "Mmm....Ibuki...no..."

Starts kissing all around her neck.

Ibuki: "Haha...I haven't even touched your erogenous parts yet and look at you."

Scratches and pinches her nipple over her kimono.

Yoshino: *clings onto his big arm* "I-I..buki.."

Ibuki: "Can I hold you like this?"

Whispers directly into her ears with his sweet voice.

Yoshino: "Ngh..." *pushes him away*

Yoshino: *blushing* "I-I...I don't want to...do it with someone...I don't like..."

Ibuki: "Someone...you don't like, huh?"

Yoshino's heart ached at Ibuki's confused voice,

Ibuki: "Heh...Demons like to break people who are stubborn."

Ibuki: "Someday, I will corrupt you and turn you into a lewd woman who moans in the arms of a demon who you don't like."

[fayes-fics]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @suspendingtime. Thanks my dear. 🫶🫶 Apologies I'm a little tipsy right now haha. 🤪

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

155. Ahem, hush you. I started writing 18 months ago. When I get a new hobby, I REALLY lean into it.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

481,485. Yup, almost half a million. Again, shhhh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Bridgerton. Look, I have my hyperfixations, ok?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

On AO3:

In His Lap (Short Fic) 181 

Temptation 177 

The Lesson 155 

Insatiable 149 

Are We Friends? 148

Tumblr notes:

Second Son 3,436

Sonnet #29 2,199

Rescue & Ruin 1,841

Awakening 1,827

Temptation 1,788

Wattpad readers:

Innocence, 30,600

Benedict Bridgerton Regency One Shots 23,000

Kinktober 2022 collection 16,300

Anthony Bridgerton Regency One Shots 10,400

Moments 5,800

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Always. It's just wonderful to get feedback. I read and respond to every single comment. They mean the world to me, truly.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably No Good Advice. I ended up writing Moments multi-chapter as I (and a friend) couldn't bear the idea they didn't end up together lolol.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them, tbh. I can't write an unhappy ending. Maybe the mushiest is Second Son, Moments, or It Had To Be You.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Luckily not much yet. I did get one hate anon early on. It wasn't about a specific fic, though. It said they didn't know why I had a 'please don't steal my work' disclaimer (the standard one that most writers here use) cos I was delusional that my work was worth stealing. 🤷‍♀️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, it's my trademark. It's rare when I don't write smut. 😬 I'm not sure what is meant by kind of smut. I've written it all, from vanilla romantic sex to kink threesomes with harnesses and double penetration lol. I haven't had a request yet that I've turned down due to sexual content.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet. The closest I've gotten is It Had To Be You, which is based on When Harry Met Sally.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, sadly, it has happened quite a few times now. I was so fed up with filing copyright takedown notices that I set up a Wattpad account to try to counter it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I've been offered but have turned it down. I have no way to check that any translation would get across the nuance I aim for. So I know that may be anglo-centric, but its how I feel for now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but I am always threatening to lolol.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Hmm, tough one. I do love Kanthony tbh.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Benedict as a virgin. I just urghhh.... it's been a WIP for 17 months now. I just dunno why I won't finish it; I just get the feeling I won't.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have no bloody idea. I'd prefer readers answer that tbh lol. My inclination is to say I don't have one, except perhaps a willingness to describe sex in ridiculous levels of detail? Is that a strength?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

World building. I will do anything to shortcut it. I'll find an economical way to describe a situation e.g. she's a widow; they're old friends. Got it? Good! Let's get down to business.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done a smidgeon of French as I studied it for ten years. But I doubt I'd do another language tbh.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Only Bridgerton so far.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Bloody hell, I have no fucking idea. It literally changes depending on my mood. But I don't really care for my own writing that much, all I see is flaws lol. I guess the universe I would most like to write more for one day is Mrs Bridgerton and its sequel. Does that count?

No Pressure Tagging: A couple of my talented writing moots were tagged along with me on this (the lovelies @colettebronte and @eleanor-bradstreet). So lets go: @thebabblingbrookenook @fiction-is-life @ferns-fics @silverhallow @mothdruid @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @urchintoast 😁🧡🧡