#I need the legalize gay shirt

[petewentzsvaginabones]

Leathermouth Frank.

(thats it, that's the post.)

[captainmalewriter]

Superstar

Commission Story

“Dude check out my sweet pump! I swear to God I’m getting bigger!” 

Xavier was checking himself out in the mirror while his best friend Carlos sketched something on a legal pad on the nearby living room couch. Carlos stopped drawing for a brief second and looked over at Xavier with lazy eyes.

“Yeah man, you’re getting real massive now,” Carlos lied. Xavier’s bicep looked exactly the same as the last time he checked. “Maybe I’ll ask you to spot me the next time I go for a PR.”

“Alright alright, cut the crap,” Xavier rolled his sleeves back down. “I can do without the teasing, thanks.”

“No I’m serious, X! You’re starting to look like me! C’mon, let’s compare sizes real quick.”

Carlos hopped off the couch and joined Xavier before the full-body mirror. He then took off his shirt in one smooth motion and flexed his muscular torso. 

Having been in various sports throughout his life, Carlos boasted an impressive physique. He had strong, broad shoulders and absolute cannons for arms. Carlos took up most of the mirror space when he posed, which forced Xavier to step to the side. Having seen the same body repeatedly throughout the years, Xavier was no longer impressed by his friend’s athletic build.

“Nah, you’re still pretty small.”

Xavier poked Carlos at his side, where he knew he was most ticklish. Carlos jabbed Xavier in retaliation. Xavier returned the hit in kind. They would then continue exchanging blow for blow, hitting each other’s ticklish spots until one of them eventually called uncle. This was a game they frequently played ever since they first became friends.

Carlos and Xavier had first met in middle school when they sat next to each other in art class. They formed a homework pact soon after first meeting each other. Xavier helped Carlos with his science homework, while Carlos helped Xavier with his drawing assignments. Their mutual agreement led to them becoming best friends. On the outside, they looked like a stereotypical duo that would typically be at odds— Xavier being the scrawny, gay nerd while Carlos was the conventionally handsome, popular athlete, but anyone who knew either of them knew they had a lot of love for each other. Nowadays, even though they attended different colleges, they would still make time to hang out with each other often. Theirs was a friendship that survived the test of time.

“Alright alright, enough!! You win!” Xavier called out. They were both out of breath and red in the face after roughhousing, but that didn’t stop them from sharing a laugh and a bro hug. 

Their loud, combined laughter stopped them from noticing when Carlos’ father, Enrique, arrived home from work. Enrique looked at them with a scowl plastered on his face. Xavier and Carlos both immediately stopped laughing when they noticed him. Carlos felt a cool breeze on his exposed skin, then hurried to put on his shirt, remembering he was shirtless.

“Dad!” Carlos said while slipping his shirt back on. “You’re home early—”

“What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be at summer practice already?” 

“Not yet I don’t, practice doesn’t even start for another two hours!”

“What kind of loser talk is that?” Enrique crossed his arms and shook his head in disappointment. “How do you expect to stay ahead of everyone else if you’re not out on the field putting in the extra hours?”

“I’m fine, Dad, I don’t need extra practice hours.”

“Psh, that’s how it always starts. First, you stop going to practice early. Next, you stop going at all. Then, you start getting less and less playing time because you’re not playing as good as you once were. You’re going to lose your scholarship, Carlitos, is that what you want!?”

Xavier noticed Carlos’ eyebrows beginning to furrow and stepped in before he could respond. 

“Hey, let’s just get going. Don’t wanna catch the midday traffic after all.”

Xavier helped himself out while Carlos lagged behind. Carlos gave his father one last cold stare, then began walking out. Enrique stepped towards him as he did so.

“And I want you to stop hanging out around that queer. He’s going to make you weak.”

Carlos stopped once he heard what his father whispered into his ear. He couldn’t believe what he had heard. He wanted to retaliate but couldn’t find the words to do so. All he could do was listen to his father’s dress shoes echoing down the hallway as he left. Carlos cleared his throat and went for his car, where Xavier was already waiting in the passenger seat.

The car ride to Carlos’ college, where summer practice was being held, started off silent and tense. Xavier looked over to his buddy as he drove them down the freeway. He knew Carlos wasn’t the type to show his emotions often, but he knew the dilemma over rugby and his father was eating him alive inside. 

“Hey… Sorry about your Dad. He sucks.”

“Hmph, don’t be. You know he’s always been like that, I’m used to it,” Carlos responded. 

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep putting up with it. You need to tell him that you wanna pursue art.”

“It’s not that easy—”

“Why not?”

“Dude, c’mon, you know my Dad doesn’t give a fuck about my art. He just wants me to focus on rugby so I can keep my scholarship.”

“Well, can’t you just switch your program of study? He doesn’t have to know!” Xavier teased. Carlos didn’t laugh.

“Can’t. The school won’t allow it. Student athletes can only be in certain programs and art isn’t one of them.”

Xavier wanted to offer a rebuttal but couldn’t think of anything they hadn’t already considered. He stayed quiet and shrunk into the leather cushion of the passenger seat.

“You know, maybe my Dad’s right,” Carlos started. “There are worse things in life than being forced to play rugby. Besides, imagine all the money I’ll earn once I go pro. Maybe sticking with sports is the right call.”

“Dude, what about your art? Art can make you money too! I’ve seen your drawings and paintings, you’ve got talent! You can make it big, even bigger than with rugby!”

“You don’t know that,” Carlos sighed heavily as he stopped at a red light coming off the freeway. “I’m not saying I’ll stop drawing completely, but maybe that shouldn’t be the focus of my life right now. I need to stay in perfect shape if I wanna go pro with rugby.” Carlos turned his head to Xavier and held eye contact with him. His gaze softened. 

“I appreciate you looking out for me, X, but I really don’t think art is in the cards for me. It’s gonna take a miracle to change my Dad’s mind, and I just don’t think it’s gonna happen.” 

Xavier stayed quiet but gave an affirming nod, then looked away. As they pulled into campus, he pointed to the library.

“Drop me off there, I wanna check out some books,” Xavier said. Carlos did as requested.

“You’ve been hanging out at the library a lot lately. You’re not even a student here, what are you doing there?”

“Your school’s got an interesting collection on the history of alchemy, so I’ve been reading it. Nothing special, really.”

Xavier lied. For the past few months, Xavier hadn’t been studying the history of alchemy but rather how to practice alchemy. While he had started his research with a rudimentary understanding of medieval chemistry, Xavier soon discovered that alchemy could be used for way more things besides the old and tired turn-metal-into-gold gimmick. A sly smile formed on Xavier’s face as he finished reading the last alchemy book in the library collection. With a careful hand and enough determination, he could transform anything into anything! Including the human body.

Xavier was ready to put his knowledge into practice that very same night. Against Enrique’s wishes, Carlos let his best friend sleep in their spare room for the night. While they were sound asleep, Xavier’s mind was racing with all the possibilities the world of alchemy had opened up for him. 

Once he finally settled on a plan, he went into action. Xavier crept into Carlos’ room while he was snoring peacefully. He tiptoed slowly, careful not to wake him up, and kneeled beside his bed.

“Alright… Just five minutes then I get out… For the sake of science, nothing more…”

Xavier reached out to Carlos and pulled down his white undershirt. Then, with the tip of his pointer finger, he drew a heart right over his actual heart. He whispered an incantation as he did so. Once he finished tracing the outline of a heart, Xavier lifted his finger and then firmly pressed the center of Carlos’ heart. As soon as he had done so, Carlos’ snoring immediately ceased. It worked. Xavier successfully transformed him into a bodysuit.

While Xavier was overjoyed that his little alchemy experiment had worked, he knew he had no time to celebrate. Xavier had no idea how long the transformation would hold so he hurried to put the Carlos bodysuit on. 

He pried the bodysuit’s mouth wide open then stuck his face inside. Xavier pushed his way down Carlos’ throat. The bodysuit’s internal fluids acted as lubrication for Xavier’s body as he slithered his way inside. He could hear all the slippery, wet noises Carlos’ body was making as it expanded to take in another human body. It was a tight squeeze but with enough force, Xavier was able to force himself into Carlos’ body with one final push. He was in.

Nrrghh…

Xavier heard a moan as he laid inside the bodysuit. He wasn’t sure if it was him or the bodysuit, though that was the least of his worries. Xavier began to stretch his limbs out from inside of Carlos. As his limbs slipped into Carlos’ limbs like sleeves, the once limp bodysuit sprang to life. Slowly but surely, Xavier was able to move and feel through Carlos’ body.

Urghhhh fuckk!!

Xavier let out a loud moan from within Carlos as his senses adjusted to their new body. All at once, he felt the sudden shift in body weight thanks to all the muscle mass Carlos had. Xavier smirked as he ran his hands down his newly obtained firm pecs and chiseled abs. The light body hair brushed against his fingertips, sending electric, sensual sensations as he explored his borrowed muscular body.

Mmmm fuck yeah…

Xavier purred with Carlos’ voice as he continued checking out his new body. He kept a wide grin as he did so. Xavier could hardly believe how much of a success his little alchemy experiment was. Movement… speech… feeling, Xavier controlled it all! 

Even though Xavier was already very familiar with Carlos’ well-toned body, being able to see it from an up close perspective spurred great excitement and pleasure. The tent forming in his sweatpants was a testament to that. Xavier looked at his growing boner with a devilish smirk. He wanted nothing more than to grab and massage his cock, but decided against it. After all, 15 minutes had already passed and he swore he’d only allow himself five minutes. 

Xavier laid back down in bed and let himself out of his borrowed body. He was ejected from Carlos’ body with a loud slurp, leaving an empty bodysuit behind in the bed. Xavier looked down at the limp bodysuit as his senses readjusted. He was worried about possible side effects, but was relieved when Carlos began snoring again after a few minutes had passed. Thankfully, the bodysuit technique he had performed on him seemed to be temporary. Xavier went back to the guest room and practically collapsed on the bed due to fatigue. Performing alchemy and taking on a new body left him physically and mentally exhausted.

Xavier woke up late the next day. Despite having slept in, he was sore and with body aches, most likely due to the bodysuit experiment he had pulled during the night. Xavier stretched and rolled out of bed, wondering who he would use alchemy on next. He had woken up so late that Carlos was already gone for rugby practice, leaving him alone with Enrique.

Enrique was busy working out in the back. He was only wearing a pair of shorts, sunglasses, and a hat. Even from inside the house, Xavier saw how sweaty Enrique was from doing yard work in the hot sun. He watched Enrique toiling away with a hoe for a few minutes. 

“Hm… He’s not a bad option for a bodysuit. Thicker body type, some muscle, lots of body hair, full beard… Yeah, he could definitely be some fun to take over for a spin…”

Then quickly retreated into the hallway when he saw him coming inside. He refused to interact with a man he knew hated him. From the safety of the hallway, Xavier watched Enrique as he took a break on the couch. Enrique noticed Carlos’ notebook sitting on the coffee table and audibly groaned in disapproval.

“I told him he needs to stop drawing… All this art bullshit is gonna get in the way of his focus! I need to hide this before he gets back home.” Enrique leaned his head back against the couch cushions and closed his eyes. All while not even noticing that Xavier was glaring at him with a growing vengeful lust.

Any hesitation Xavier had had disappeared when he heard Enrique’s plan. It was a simple plan with amazing benefits: Xavier would get to try out a dad bod, and because it was Enrique he’d be wearing, he could become his best friend’s dad and help him follow his dream of becoming an artist. It was a win-win situation!

Xavier waited a couple of minutes to make sure Enrique’s guard was down, then proceeded to take action. He crawled up to the couch and quietly positioned himself over Enrique. He then gently placed his finger on Enrique’s exposed chest and began outlining a heart, just like he had done with Carlos. Xavier’s finger practically glided along his chest because of how sweaty he was.

Hrmph… Hrm? What the—

Shit!!

Xavier was hoping Enrique had fallen asleep, but he was wrong. He was wide awake. Xavier finished performing the bodysuit ritual as quickly as he could. He managed to complete the ritual before Enrique could fight back. Enrique began transforming into a bodysuit. In a state of panic, Xavier hurried to put him on. He pushed his head into the mouth of the bodysuit and began forcing his way into Enrique’s body. He thought he was in the clear, but then he felt a rubbery hand holding him by the neck.

What are you doing!? Get out of me!!

Xavier heard Enrique’s voice rejecting his presence. He was shocked. He didn’t think someone could resist body invasion once they started turning into a bodysuit. It seemed like Enrique was a fighter! But so was Xavier. Xavier caught a whiff of Enrique’s sweaty musk as he fought his way in. The strong, masculine smell ignited a powerful lust inside of Xavier. He craved more and he was going to make sure he got it no matter what.

Xavier used his full strength to push himself in. Thankfully, although Enrique resisted against him, he was still turning into a bodysuit. The longer it went on, the less of a fight Enrique was able to put up. Xavier crawled his way inside of the dad bodysuit. Enrique’s body expanded and distorted as Xavier’s presence filled up the inside space. With one last burst of energy, Xavier was swallowed up by the bodysuit. The bodysuit began thrashing around on the couch as Xavier began stretching his limbs out into Enrique’s limbs.

Umphh… Stop…! Ughhnnn…

Enrique felt himself getting taken over by the young gay man as it happened. He absolutely hated the thought of it. He felt Xavier’s hands fill in his own hands like a well-fitting glove. He felt the same full sensation with his legs and feet. One finger at a time, one toe at a time, Enrique was completely powerless to fight against Xavier’s growing control over his body. And the worst part of it all was how good Enrique felt having someone wear him like a suit. As Xavier filled in the bodysuit from the inside, was hitting nerve endings Enrique didn’t even know he had. It sent shocks of pleasure that left Enrique jolting and moaning obscenely. His manhood was hardening and leaking precum from all the stimulation. 

Aarrghhh fuckkkk!!

Xavier growled out with Enrique’s voice. He slipped his own cock into Enrique’s growing member like a personal dick sleeve, sending another wave of ecstasy throughout their shared body. An unwanted smirk formed on Enrique’s face once Xavier gained full control over his body. It was over.

Hey! Stop that!! Get your hands off my dick!!

“No way man! This cock’s mine now!!” Xavier teased. He made Enrique’s hands paw at their protruding package. 

He then grabbed and lowered Enrique’s shorts with lightning speed. Enrique’s cock was at full mast and sprung out once it was released. Xavier whistled with delight as he admired his new cock. Enrique had a cock that was as thick as a beer can with a big tip and an unkempt bush of pubic hair too. After thrashing around from getting taken over, Enrique’s body was drenched and glistening with sweat. With a horny grin, Xavier lifted his arm and aired out his sweaty pit hair. The potent smell immediately filled his nostril. He leaned into his pit and took a deep sniff of his musk. The manly aroma fed his arousal, and made his already erect cock to grow even harder and longer.

Stop it! That’s gross!!

Xavier groaned when he heard Enrique complaining from inside his head. 

“Are you sure, big guy? Seems like you’re into it too!” Xavier waved his erect member around, causing precum to drip around his hairy thighs. 

Once Enrique quieted down again, Xavier decided to indulge. He leaned his face back into his ripe armpit and used his tongue to sip a few droplets of salty sweat hanging off his pit hair. He then took another few whiffs of his sweaty scent, groaning as he did so, then ran his fingers down his hairy torso. He stopped momentarily at his nipples to pinch them. Xavier loved the pain sensation jolting through his chest as he pinched his sensitive nipples. His hands continued slithering down until they finally reached his leaking manhood. Xavier ran his fingers through his new bush. His fingers got caught in the forest of thick, black hair. Xavier smirked as he tugged on his bush while his other hand began pumping his throbbing member— all while Enrique was conscious of him moving around with his body.

“Nrghh… fuck man!! Nghhh this feels so good…”

Xavier moaned loudly as he jerked off, much to Enrique’s dismay. Enrique couldn’t do anything but complain as Xavier had free reign over his body. Everytime he protested, Xavier moaned louder and louder until he stopped again. 

This continued for about another five minutes until Xavier felt himself getting close. Once Xavier felt it, he grabbed his throbbing member with both hands and stroked ferociously. His pecs were bouncing up and down with every pump. He was dripping sweat everywhere from how intensely he was jerking off. Then, at the moment of climax, Xavier threw his head back and let out a sensual gasp as load after load of warm cum came shooting out of him like a fire hydrant. His cock was twitching and throbbing until every last load was pumped out of his heavy balls. 

Xavier was breathing heavily. All of the body hair on his upper body became drenched and sticky with all the sweat and cum. He laid on the couch satisfied and completely relaxed, until he heard the garage door opening. Carlos was home.

“Oh fuck, not now!”

Xavier sprang to his feet and hurried to clean up after himself. He threw on his shorts and used nearby napkins to dry off his bodily fluids. No matter how hard Xavier tried, it made no difference. The couch was still soaking wet and he was still red in the face after his little tugging session, but it would have to do for now.

Carlos walked into the living room as soon as Xavier finished throwing away the evidence of what had happened.

“Hey Dad,” Carlos said.

“Hey… Son. How was practice?” Xavier said with a nervous stutter. 

“It was fine, I guess.”

“Hey man, that’s really good to hear! I’m proud of you!” 

“Yeah… thanks.” Carlos looked at him with a confused expression. He couldn’t access his mind even though he had perfect control over Enrique’s body. Without access to his memories, Xavier had to guess what Enrique would say. He was in uncharted territory, and he was terrified.

Carlos!! Hijo! Help me!! Your weird friend is controlling my body!!

Enrique was still shouting in Xavier’s head. Irritated, Xavier accidentally responded out loud.

“I swear to God will you just shut up already!?”

“I didn’t even say anything!!”

“Not you!!” Xavier looked over at Carlos. He shook his head to himself. “I’ve been feeling kind of weird today, I’m sorry.”

Carlos stood apprehensively for a brief moment, then lowered his guard again. “It’s alright, I understand. I had a really weird dream last night. I don’t feel like myself today either.” He took out a car key and offered it to Xavier. “Here, thanks for letting me borrow the truck.”

Not suspecting anything of it, Xavier tried reaching out for it. As soon as he did so, Carlos pinned against the couch.

“Fucking liar! I know it’s you in there Xavier!”

“Huh? No it’s not—”

“Save it. I know my Dad, and he would never say shit like ‘man’ or ‘I swear to God!’ What the fuck is going on!?”

“Okay okay I’ll tell you! Just let me get up first!”

Carlos did as asked. Xavier then explained everything to him. He explained how he used alchemy to turn Enrique into a bodysuit and took over his body and identity. Xavier explained that he wanted to help him pursue his dream of becoming an artist by taking over his dad’s identity. After he was done, Carlos stood up and paced around the room quietly.

“This is insane…” Carlos murmured. Xavier stayed quiet. “This is so fucking insane… And honestly? This might be the miracle I was praying for…”

Xavier was overjoyed that Carlos was on board with his plan. He pulled Carlos in for a bro hug, and after they hugged, Carlos told him to never do that again if he was going to act like his father from now on. Xavier chuckled and nodded.

“You got it, Carlitos, I’ll become an even better father than your dad ever was!” Carlos grinned.

“I’ll hold you to that, Dad.”

From then on, Xavier continued pretending to be Carlos’ father Enrique. Carlos had to teach him what to say and what not to say, but Xavier was a quick learner. Although Carlos still had to play rugby to keep his scholarship, he could finally devote more time to his artwork thanks to his father’s new attitude. Carlos was able to find success as a painter after he graduated. In fact, he had been invited to a gallery opening for rising new artists such as himself. His future as an artist was bright.

And while Carlos was busy making a name for himself, his best friend/new father lived happily too. Xavier loved his new dad bod, and so did the gay hunks at the local gym. They would never give him the time of the day back in his old body, but with his new DILF body? They were all over him. Although Enrique still occasionally complained in his head, Xavier learned how to ignore him. The old Enrique had become a distant memory over the years as Xavier and Carlos lived their best lives as a happy father and son duo.

Thank you for supporting!!

[nonotnolan]

Group Project

"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."

"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."

Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.

Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"

"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"

Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."

"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."

Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"

"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.

He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."

"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.

"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."

Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.

"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"

Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.

"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"

The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"

He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.

[minispidey]

03: Barbie and the Giftshopist.

Steven Grant x f!bimbo!reader. previous part. series masterlist. next part.

03. Everyday she wears pink.

(A/n: your feedback on the last chapter about me writing the moon knight system is so amazing tysm! i referenced mpgis here and more legally blonde. i wanna note that reader has been a lawyer for a couple years now and amazing at it 🤸‍♀️ btw update tags are open!)

warnings: mention of cock, swearing and cursing, mention of blood.

the cock line is from my bubs @ominoose ily

"This isn't just a date. This is a date!" You told yourself as you threw random articles of clothing behind you as you hunted for a specific dress.

You thought maybe you shouldn't wear pink. Maybe you have a pretty dress he hasn't seen you in.

You barely slept due to excitement.

The way he talked and looked at you made you swoon over him. Just thinking about makes you-

You squealed as your leg involuntarily kicked up. You blinked twice in confusion "That is so weird..."

Maybe you were horny.

"Oh gosh, not again. Bad leg!" you scolded your beautiful leg as it kicks up again "Down girl, down! No nasty thoughts about... about... about the hot neighbor across us- no!"

You almost moaned at the though of his lips against yours... You shuddered as you kept remembering the way he looked at you. You laid down in the pool of clothing as you imagined how your little lunch date will go.

As usual, you two walked out of your flat at the same time, discussing where the two of you were going for lunch.

"Wetherspoons..." you parked your pink corvette outside, looking at the flowers decorating the place. Your high heels clicked on the pavement as you walked inside, still in your pink work suit despite planning on changing.

It was a busier day than you thought, but of course lunch time is important.

Your eyes lit up as you spotted Steven, sitting up rather stiff "Stevie!" you smiled as you walked over to his table "Hi, so sorry I'm a bit late. Traffic and all."

But Steven looked back at you with such a loving look in his eyes "It's alright, love. I haven't been waiting long."

The truth is, he thought you weren't gonna show up.

"Have you ordered yet? Gosh, you must be starved." you opened the menu and browsed.

"I haven't." he shook his head, opening his menu as well.

"Cross examination was a success." you smiled "Next week's the next trial with the witness."

Steven didn't know what you were talking about, it was out of context "That's great!" he responded.

"So then he was like no and I was like, you are. Then he was like no but then I was like you are! And he was like, I kinda am. So long story short he's like, totally gay." you said as you looked at your compact mirror.

"Thank gosh I figured it out, because no way can he say my Chanel is so last season when his shirt is so last year. My client was totally bugging, but we figured it out and I, like, totally won that. How about you, Stevie? How's your day?"

Steven smiled back at you "T'was alright, love. Just the usual." he says sarcastically "Donna's been a real-"

"Excuse my language— Bitch? Cunt? Pain in the ass?"

He chuckles "Yes. A pain in the arse, love."

"She always sounds like she's giving you a hard time. You sure you don't want me to talk to her?"

"I don't think it's lawyer-worthy. It's really alright, love." Steven shakes his head "Just another typical day."

"Yeah, which can be classified as workplace abuse."

"Really. I'm fine."

You press your glossy lips into a thin line before sighing "Alright. But if you need someone to represent you in court, I'm your girl." you playfully winked at him.

Steven blushed before nodding "I'll keep you in mind then." a waiter comes up to the two of you and he began to order "-and a cocktail. Uh, how about you?"

"Um, I'll have the Soup of the Day with half a baguette, and Pasta Pomodoro with salmon. And— wait did you say a cocktail?" you blinked twice at Steven "I'll have a cocktail too, thank you."

You smiled at the waiter as he repeated the order to you two before walking away.

"Jeez, Stevie. It's only lunchtime." you giggled at him.

"I-I just wanted something strong."

"Work's really stressful, huh?"

"It really is." he sighed "Working late again tonight. But this uh lunch date is really cheering me up."

Your cheeks felt hot, making you smile "That's so sweet... tell you what, I'll pick you up from work tonight again. I'm working late too anyways."

It was Steven's turn to blush. His hand shakes with his head "You're way too nice. I don't wanna bother you. It's quite overwhelming too." even his ears turned red.

"Steven, you shouldn't turn away blessings." you winked as you giggled. Your cocktails were served just a few minutes later.

"I haven't had a cock in a while."

Steven felt his drink rush to his nose and he quickly grabbed a napkin. He coughs a few times before looking up at you.

"Oopsies, I meant a cocktail." you covered your mouth, smiling "Well, I mean... I haven't had that in a while either."

You took a sip of the drink and Steven stared at the lipstick mark left on the edge of the glass. You always wore a certain shade of lipstick, and it always drove him crazy.

There were times he'd imagine smudging your lipstick... in more ways than one.

After lunch, the two of you laughed as you drove to the museum. Steven just kept falling more and more into your wonderland of pink and diamonds. He stared at you with half-lidded eyes, listening to every word you said.

The thing about Steven is that he loves to ramble and talk a lot, and so do you. He knew you were perfect.

"-and I was like, thank gosh I talked her out of buying an orange chiffon scarf. It doesn't suit her spring tones at all! There's a fine line between terracotta and brown."

That evening, your pink corvette was parked outside of the museum, waiting patiently for Steven after a long day of reading case papers. You puckered out your lips to reapply some lipstick before popping and smiling at your reflection.

Your freshly manicured nails tapped on the steering wheel while humming a small tune.

Then suddenly someone knocks on your window.

"Steven?"

He looked like he was roughed up, red staining his clothes, but it's not his blood. It didn't even look like the same clothes he was wearing during your lunch date.

"Oh my gosh, Steven-"

...but that's actually not your main concern.

"-I told you, blue and black as a combo is a total crime against fashion. If it were me, I'd make it law." you groaned, opening the locks of your car "Get in."

His eyes widened but he doesn't respond, only taking the passenger's seat like you commanded.

"Oh, you have a little stain there." you pat the patch of blood using a pink handkerchief with lace trim and your name embroidered on the corner.

He continued to stare at you as you took his hand and placing your handkerchief on his palm "Here. You can give it back to me some other time because I seriously I need to take you shopping this weekend."

You thought maybe he's always tired after work, that's why he's so quiet, like yesterday.

"Maybe I can figure out your color palette so I know what looks best on you. Your shirts are cute, I'd have to admit, but some of them are... meh. No offense but some prints are worse than the last. OH! I know, we'll do a whole shopping day on the weekend. An hour or so won't cut it. I know it's your weekend off, but trust me when I say when your pretty neighbor's a fashionista, your life is gonna change."

Steven looks at you from the mirror's reflection before shifting his eyes towards the body— Jake. Unlike Marc's creepy silent behavior from the night before, Jake actually looks at you as you went on and on.

He even responds with small nods.

"Can we not make this a habit? First it's Marc pretending to be me in front of her, now it's you. I don't need your help with her. Can I please go in my own pace?" Steven tells Jake, but Jake shook his head in a not now kind of motion.

As Jake entered the apartment after waving goodnight to you, he's met with a poor attempt of a glare from Steven "Don't look at me like that, you wanted the girl so I gave it a push."

"I want to do this on my own. Marc doesn't want me to, I don't know about you, but I don't need help. Can I please do it my way? It's all I ask."

"Can you ask her out?"

Steven pressed his lips into a line before letting out a sigh "Give me the body. I'll... try."

"Alright, alright. You go on ahead."

Steven, now in control of the body, swung open the door and he sees you struggling to find your keys. You blinked twice before smiling at him "Hi again, Stevie. My keys are just- ugh, a lot." your keychains jingle as you tried to find the right key.

"Can we go on a date after shopping this weekend?" he blurts out quickly. Steven was red as a tomato "D-Dinner date."

Your eyes lit up and you felt the butterflies in your stomach again "I'd love that! I'll just- oh! I found my key!"

And you also found the key to your locked-up heart.

UP NEXT: the best weekend ever! a date with steven and a little breaking and entering 💅

tags: @red-hydra @monsterroonio @pastelpinkpilatesprincess @letmehavemyfictionalmen @uncle-eggy @superduckmilkshake @3zae-zae3

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: Once upon a time, a man turned himself into a demon for the sake of his husband's soul. It's been a long time since then.

-

Demons don't really need to sleep, but Roier likes to do it, anyway. It's relaxing, and it reminds him of better times back when he was human and his husband wasn't... well.

Well.

Jaiden doesn't get it, but that's because she's never known what dreams are. Because demons don't sleep and, unlike Roier, she was born a demon. Her and Bobby both were, leaving Roier as the odd one out.

...That's fine! Their loss! Because sleep? Great. Dreams? Even better.

Because, in Roier's dreams, he sees him.

-

(They're in bed, because that was Roier's favorite place to be. He's on his back with his husband laying next to him tracing patterns into his shirt with one finger. Rain patters on the ceiling, and some leaks through into the kitchen and lands in a pot placed conspicuously in the middle of the floor. Their blankets are warm, and so are their hearts.)

-

Roier has been married for almost 500 years. His husband has been dead for 499 of those years, give or take a few months.

They were never legally married; that just wasn't something you did back then. Didn't matter, though, because they wouldn't have been able to afford a wedding even if they could get married.

They were farmers- well, Roier was a farmer. His husband just liked sitting and watching Roier work shirtless in the fields. He'd sit with a pitcher of water waiting by his side should Roier need it, and he'd watch shamelessly for hours at a time, and he was horrible.

And now he's dead.

-

But, see, the first thing Roier asked when arriving in Hell was whether or not the Devil was cool with gay marriage.

"Uh," said Jaiden- and this was their first real conversation post-demoning, okay? So she obviously wasn't as cool as she is now. "Maybe? I don't know. I'd have to ask?"

"Could you?" Roier had asked, freshly deceased and still bleeding from the temples where his horns had just finished growing in. "I'm expecting my husband."

"Right," Jaiden tensely replied. "Your husband."

"Yeah," Roier said, and he tried saying his husband's name, but it just. Wouldn't... what was it again?

-

But that's fine, being a demon is a pretty sweet gig. All Roier has to do is go up to the Mortal Realm and do a few jobs for a few witches, corrupt a few souls. In return, he gets badass magical abilities and immortality.

More importantly, he gets his husband's soul. As soon as he reincarnates back in the Mortal Realm, and as soon as he dies again, he goes to Hell with all of the memories from his previous life with Roier intact, and they finally get their happily ever after.

It's what he would've wanted. Hell might sound terrible, but it's no worse than the Mortal Realm, and its public transportation is actually better, somehow. The busses all run on time, and the subway is free.

More importantly, Roier's husband was the one collecting all those books on summoning demons and making deals with demons and communing with the Devil. Roier just... completed his work for him.

It's the least he could've done, and it was his last chance at seeing him again.

-

Fuck, but what was his name?

-

(They're in the fields, because that was Roier's husband's favorite place to be. Roier is shirtless and bent over a row of seeds that are going to grow up to be corn in a few months, and his husband is on the ground under the apple tree watching him shamelessly. It's sunny out, and there's the smell of smoke in the air.)

-

It's been 500 years since Roier's husband died, and Roier has spent that time trying to remember the name of his husband's killer.

Because, once upon a time, there was a farmer, and there was a witch. Ah, but witches were illegal, you see. They communed with the Devil, and they brought chaos into a world of order.

All Roier remembers is that the person who tied his husband to that pole was in all-white. Not a priest, just someone boring.

That same person was the one who lit the straw at Roier's husband's feet on fire. And they smiled doing so even as Roier dove towards the flames as if he could put them out with his bare hands.

It didn't work. Big surprise there.

-

"So the Devil's fine with you two getting married," Jaiden said after a few days of dealing with demonic bureaucracy, "but I have some bad news for you."

Roier, for the first time since Jaiden slit his throat and converted him, felt fear.

"What is it?" he asked.

She let out a breath, slow, and said, eventually, "Your husband's soul isn't here. He isn't in Heaven, either. Or in any of the other gods' realms."

Roier blinked. "What."

It was not a question.

She threw up her hands. "I don't know! It's like he just... disappeared!"

"Is that why I can't remember his name?" Roier asked. "His soul is fucking gone?"

His hands shook. Jaiden reached out and took them.

"We'll find him," she promised, kind despite her whole 'Is A Demon' thing. "Even if it takes five hundred years."

"Yeah, well, it won't," he scoffed. "I'm going to find him. He promised me a wedding."

-

Souls don't just die. They go to someplace that Roier has only ever heard of: Purgatory.

Once in Purgatory, souls get judged by the Eye of Justice. He asks them questions about their life, and they have to answer truthfully, or he'll feed them to his children.

There are a few options for what comes next.

One: they pass the Eye of Justice's judgement and are allowed to move on to whatever afterlife they believe in.

Two: they pass the Eye of Justice's judgement and are allowed to reincarnate into another life.

Three: they fail the Eye of Justice's judgement and are forcibly sent to reincarnate into the life of a bug or a blade of grass or something else boring and tortuous.

Roier got to skip out on Purgatory entirely because he took the direct line to Hell. But maybe, just maybe, if he had died regularly, he could have seen his husband in Purgatory, and they could have reincarnated together.

...Ugh. Hindsight is a bitch.

-

(Roier is visiting his grandfather when the church bells ring.

"A witch!" he hears a woman scream, and his stomach fell right into his shoes.)

-

It's been 500 years, and Roier has gotten a bit of a reputation among modern witches for being one of the easier demons to work with. He'll help with their problems in exchange for information on a certain lost soul: if they hear from his husband's soul, they summon Roier. Or he'll help in exchange for some book recommendations for his son; Hell has many things, but it does not have a public library.

He isn't a particularly strong demon despite what his only angel friend, Etoiles, might say. Etoiles is just a silly little guy, don't listen to him!

-

(He never even got to say goodbye. They locked eyes as the flames rose, and Roier screamed his name one last time, and he hasn't been able to feel anything since.)

-

Jaiden was the first demon that Roier had ever met.

He was on the floor surrounded by the ashes that used to be his home. His husband's books were in charred tatters around him, but one managed to survive the fire. It was almost supernatural, but, like, yeah. Demon book, of course it was fireproof.

He was bleeding. He had offered his blood, and his soul, to the demon in exchange for his husband's life back.

She sat on the floor with him.

"I can't do that," she gently told him. "Demons can do a lot of things, but we can't perform miracles."

Roier's throat burned: smoke inhalation and grief.

"Oh," he said, small-sounding.

"But I can get his soul to Hell," she offered. "In exchange... you have to go to Hell."

His answer was immediate: "Yes."

She blinked. "I wasn't finished?"

"The answer is still 'Yes'. As long as I'm with him again, I don't care what happens to me."

"You'll have to turn your life over to Satan. You can't just go to Hell. That isn't how it works."

Roier shrugged. "That's fine."

Jaiden gawked for a moment before nodding and standing and extending her hand.

He took it.

And then he died.

-

But it's been 500 fucking years, and now Roier is being summoned by another witch for another deal. He'll probably have to help supply additional magic for some big important spell, that's basically all he's used for these days. He's more than a battery, thanks! He's a demon, he should be out, like, stealing souls and shit.

He goes, anyway, because he has to. If he doesn't, his contract is void, and he won't get to see his husband because he himself will be sent to Purgatory to be judged and, really, he does not want to deal with that. (The Eye of Judgement is fucking creepy, okay?)

There's the familiar pull at Roier's core, and the familiar blinding burst of light as he's yanked into the Mortal Realm, and the familiar smell of brimstone and evil that follows him wherever he goes outside of Hell.

The room is filled with blood red smoke as he appears- his trademark.

(The most important thing to a demon these days isn't evil, it's marketability.)

The witch in front of him, nothing more than a shadow hidden behind the smoke, coughs and wheezes and fans their hand in front of their face.

They're kneeled on the ground in front of a pentagram drawn in... what the fuck is this, strawberry jam?

Roier crouches and sticks a finger into one of the circle's markings. Careful not to break the circle, he pulls his finger out and licks the red stuff on it.

Shocked, he looks at the witch, and he asks, "Dude, what the fuck? Is this blood?"

What happened to chalk!?

The witch coughs at him indignantly. "I needed to make sure I got someone powerful."

Roier rolls his eyes and plops fully onto the ground, criss-cross applesauce. He wipes his blood-covered fingertip on his jeans. Newbies...

"Well, you got me," he says, humble to the core. (He may be a super evil demon now, but he isn't a dick.) "So... what's up? What do you need?"

The smoke in the room slowly starts dissipating, revealing the witch to be a man in what have to be the previous day's clothes. His head is still ducked, and his face is still hidden in his elbow as he coughs, but Roier could almost call him objectively handsome. Shame Roier's married, this guy would be fun to mess around with.

"I need to- fuck-"

The witch coughs one last time before finally managing to get a lungful of clean air. He raises his head, and Roier finally gets a look at his face, and-

"I need your help," the witch says, voice rough and rugged and absolutely heartbreaking. "I need to kill someone, and I need your help to do it."

"Okay," Roier agrees. He doesn't have a choice, being a summoned demon and all, but he doesn't think he could turn this witch down at all, because...

-

("Cellbit!" Roier screams.

He can see his face in his husband's glassy eyes, and then he sees nothing but the flames as they rise over Cellbit's head and drown him whole.)

-

The man with his husband's face frowns, suspicious.

"What," he asks, "just like that?"

Roier grins, fangs and all. "Just like that."

After all, he doesn't think he'll need any payment for this one.

He's finally found what he's been looking for.

[lazycats-stuff]

hallo! hope ur having a good day/night

if you don't mind me requesting, price from cod x civilian male reader (probably in his late 40s/early 50s) who just have the mom energy in him with his knitted cardigan like he always cook food for john (or the whole whenever they visit) and always fussing about his husband's well being

Of course I don't mind! Everyone loves the mom energy.

Summary: (Y/N) Price is the civilian husband of John Price. He worried about the team and his husband.

Warnings: Fluff, worried reader, the other 3 are the kids, injuries, mom energy.

(Y/N) Price was in the house he shared with his husband John. John in a military man, a leader of 141 Task Force, a force tasked with weeding out terrorists all around the globe. They have been together for a long time, even before John got into the army. They got married a little after gay marriage was legal in the UK.

There wasn't really a ceremony, just Price and him signing documents and then later celebrated with their families. John was the one who was always saying that he got lucky with (Y/N). Price has seen a lot of bloodshed, a lot of killings and he always separated his job and home life.

He never brought his job home. That was one of the promises that he promised to (Y/N) when he enlisted. (Y/N) didn't know what to think, but knew that it was to protect him from all the horrors and violence he faced.

And that meant that John's teammates didn't know he was married. They find out one day when they got back from a grueling mission and (Y/N) was waiting for his husband, just ready to pick him up and help him rest.

The rest of the team watched in silence as the two man embraced and then kissed. It wasn't until Soap broke the silence and John introduced his husband to his teammates. He knew they wouldn't judge his sexuality, but was kind of worried about (Y/N) hugging Ghost.

(Y/N) was a person who greeted everyone with a hug, but with Ghost, he must have sensed something and just greeted him with a handshake. Price had excused them both and they left the base, going to their cozy home.

Afterwards, there were visits from the team and somehow, they all got cards for their birthdays and cookies sent through John. Even Ghost got one for his birthday, but (Y/N) doesn't send him one on Christmas.

(Y/N) looked up from his knitting when he heard the door unlocking. (Y/N) was confused when he saw John and the team walking in. He stood up, setting aside his knitting needles.

" What's going on? " (Y/N) asked, confused. They are supposed to be on a mission.

And they supposed to come back in a few days.

" We needed a place to stay. We ran into a problem on the mission. And I know that pro- " John started, but (Y/N) cut him off.

" Hang on. Is anyone injured? I have first aid kit in the bathroom. " (Y/N) asked, looking at the other men.

" Everybody just got scratches and bruises. " Price tried to explain, but (Y/N) could see that Price was lying.

" John, I know you since we were kids. I know that you are hiding something from me. " (Y/N) said, crossing his arms.

" Okay, well, I kind of got shot- "

" What?! Are you okay?! " (Y/N) said, moving closer to his husband.

" I'm fine, we patched it up. " John tried to ease the worries of his husband, but (Y/N) wasn't having it.

" Everyone, make yourselves comfortable while I make sure my husband is okay. " (Y/N) said, dragging his husband to the bathroom.

" (Y/N)- "

" John, show me. " (Y/N) demanded, crossing his arms.

" (Y/N), I'm fine, we patched it up. " John said, cupping (Y/N)'s face.

" I don't care, show me. " (Y/N) said and John sighed.

He started removing the tactical gear and (Y/N) watched him. When John took his shirt off and (Y/N) saw bandages on his chest. He moved closer to it and gently touched it.

" Does it hurt? " (Y/N) asked, looking at Price's face.

" No love, it doesn't. " Price said softly, hugging his husband. (Y/N) sighed, trying not worry now. John is fine.

" Alright. But still. Tell me when you are injured. " (Y/N) said, giving Price a kiss.

" I just don't want to worry you. " John said, holding (Y/N)'s hands.

" John, you always worry me when you are away. But when you are here, I want to know what is wrong. And also, I know you since we were kids and we have been together for a long time. " (Y/N) said softly.

Price just nodded and kissed his husband once more.

" Now, put your shirt on. I have to check on your 3 sons. " (Y/N) said, making Price sigh. " They are not my sons. " Price retorted.

" Yeah, sure. " (Y/N) said, making Price sigh once more.

" Alright kids, " (Y/N) said, walking back into the living room. The trio turned their heads to watch what (Y/N) was saying. " Is anyone hungry? "

Everyone nodded their heads and (Y/N) chuckled. Of course they were.

" Does anybody have any suggestions? " (Y/N) asked, moving to the kitchen.

" Anything. We haven't been eating anything fulfilling. " Soap said from the couch.

" Alright then. Give me an hour to make something nice. "

Price smiled sadly, walking up from behind to hug his husband from behind.

" I'm sorry for bringing work home. " Price whispered into (Y/N)'s ear.

" It was an emergency. I get it. And besides, I can defend myself. You made sure of that. " (Y/N) said, taking stuff out of the fridge.

" I know, but still. I promised you that. Also, is that a new cardigan? " John asked his husband feeling the soft cardigan.

" Yup. I am in the process of making you a matching one. " (Y/N) said, turning his head to kiss his husband.

" I love you. " John whispered into his ear.

" I love you too John. "

[dootdootwriting]

♡ PRIDE with the HSR cast ♡

featuring: jing yuan; bronya; dan heng; gepard landau; himeko; march 7th; natasha; sampo; seele; serval landau; welt yang tw: none type: fluff, pride month, hcs, a lil bit silly pronouns used: none a/n: cishets dni with this post <3 it's not for you <3 (normally you are welcome on my blog! just not this post) queer ppl PLEASE interact. idc what ur identity is if you're lgbtq+ in some way this post is for you <3 i love you (YES this includes trans straight people and bi people with crushes on characters of the opposite gender. you are loved and included)

ERM sorry this is a day late i got really tired and had to finish it today!! utc for length as usual

DAN HENG

kind of forgets about it until it's june first and he goes "oh wait. it's the gay month now isnt it"

anyway he's happy he gets to celebrate it with you. otherwise he wouldn't really see the point in doing anything special

probably gets you some kind of gift with your flag on it <3 whether it be a plushie or a banner or just a flag!

if you like going to the parades and celebrations, he'll go with you. he's not a huge fan of all the crowds of people there, but it doesn't bother him too much and he likes seeing you happy, so the net value is positive

buys something for himself if the two of you go shopping this month

he'll see a t-shirt with a little rainbow on the chest and he smiles a bit and buys it to sleep in

you also get him obnoxiously rainbow sweatpants. at first he is incredibly offended, but eventually they grow on him and he starts wearing them around the astral express. march lives for them and was visibly upset that she did not get a pair.

MARCH 7TH

WOW!!! ALL GAY PEOPLES' BIRTHDAY!!! NO WAY!!!

march is the most excited for pride month out of everyone on the astral express. she stays up until midnight on june 1st like it's new year's eve

AGGRESSIVE with all her pride merch. she gets you so much shit too. pride shirt. pride sweatshirt. pride socks. a million pride bracelets.

if the two of you go out together in june, she makes sure you're also dressed to the nines in various flags and rainbow colors

drags you to the pride parades. march convinces the crew of the express to let her make a train float for the parade of whatever planet you're on and she goes TO THE MAX with it.

speaking of the express, when everyone wakes up and enters the main train car, they find march putting up streamers and blasting lady gaga at full volume

tldr she's fucking excited

HIMEKO

ohh pride month! so blowing homophobes up is legal this month?

well, i wish. sorry himeko

she's one for more subtle pride merch. maybe a hair-tie or a bracelet, but she has at least one little flag on her at all times.

also has some pride pajamas. hey, they're comfy.

if you're comfortable, she'll take you to the pride parades. if not, no problem, the two of you can celebrate from home.

also probably gifts you something! she gets matching pins for the two of you so you can be proud... together!!

if any of the other express crew comments on her little pride ornaments, she goes "yeah? and what about it?" like a queen. this is completely ineffective however because the entire crew is queer in some way

WELT YANG

oh, it's june again. alright.

doesn't really see the need to celebrate, but will allow you to adorn him with various pride baubles if you so desire

thinks it's very cute if you get excited about pride... like yeah, yeah you should be proud.

while he doesn't outwardly show much excitement about the occasion, you notice welt gets more affectionate with you

there are more little forehead kisses when he passes you, more reaching for your hand when he walks beside you, and you swear you can feel him hold you just a little bit tighter when you go to sleep

when march proposes the idea of decorating the express, he gives a slight but genuine smile and shoots you a knowing look.

even though he could celebrate himself this month if he chose to, for welt, it's more about celebrating you and the relationship he has with you.

he's more proud of that than anything else.

BRONYA

exhausted by pride month before it even begins LOL

being the head of the city, she's in charge of sanctioning and scheduling and planning all the official pride parades and celebrations happening around belobog, and, well... wow, are people in belobog really fucking gay

also deigns to go give some speeches at a couple of the rallies. she's a cool supreme guardian

cocolia allowed pride parades during her reign, but she never encouraged them. both to celebrate her own identity and yours and completely spite her mother, bronya encourages the people of belobog to go all out

and they do!

she gets a couple of gifts for you. not anything super huge or out there, but a flag or a shirt or a hair pin to match with one of hers.

bronya also gets premium seats to any pride parade she goes to, and she definitely takes advantage of this. kind of the best dates ever.

and when she's exhausted by the day's events and the two of you lay down to bed, you can hear her quietly wish you happy pride.

GEPARD LANDAU

gets really excited about pride, but doesn't really know what to do with it

and also, as captain of the silvermane guards, he's tasked with making sure all the official belobog pride parades are safe and orderly

this is quite the task given how passionate belobog's gay community is

on days where he doesn't bring you, he comes back covered in fans and stickers and streamers and confetti in the colors of pretty much any queer flag you can think of.

he has you deck out his armor for him. you grab your paint and stickers and washi tape and decorate the hell out of him

he's so happy when you do this. it's a very sweet moment full of fun and laughter and intimacy

no cops at pride! only gepard landau and his exuberant rainbow armor

SERVAL LANDAU

YOU LOOK AT HER AND TELL ME SHE DOESN'T BOOK SO MANY PRIDE PARADE GIGS

lord. it's so sexy. she performs her music on as many pride floats as she can, and every single time, she either takes you with her or looks at you in the crowd and blows you a kiss after her big number

SERVAL CAN I HAVE A KISSIE KISS PLS <3333

also aggressively proud. she paints her cheeks with her flag(s) and roams around yelling happy pride at anyone she sees in the streets wearing rainbows

the two of you go to a café and the guy taking your order is wearing a trans wristband and she gets so excited she starts yelling by accident and ends up giving him a 30% tip and a free concert ticket

you stare at her and shes like what??? it's pride month

girl get a grip.....?

probably takes you to a couple of raves too

you paint so many flags on each other that it looks like your skin is rainbow and stay out until the early hours of the morning

SEELE

only knows what pride month is because you explain it to her

while there's a normal sized lgbtq+ population in the underground, chances are pride celebrations every year are short and not very big

she learns about it and is so excited

seele wants to go to a pride parade in the overworld with you, but even more than that she wants to set up a parade for the people in the underground so they can really celebrate themselves

it takes a few weeks of planning and execution, but it's successful and it pays off. it's a huge amount of fun for everyone in the underground who wants to participate, and a welcome distration from the lingering effects of the stellaron

part of the planning for this of course involves taking out to attend pride parades up in belobog

the first few minutes of being in the crowd, seele is a little nervous about all the people and the fact she can't move around too easily. but she gets used to it pretty quickly

she has the best reflexes out of everyone in the crowd and manages to catch every single freebie thrown off of the floats. she brings them back to distribute among the kids in the underground.

NATASHA

natasha is reasonably excited for pride month

possibly the most normal out of everyone on jarilo VI

she puts little rainbow flag posters up on the walls of her clinic to make sure that queer kids know they're safe there year round, but they double during june

YOU CANNOT convince me natasha isn't the biggest giver of hrt treatment on jarilo VI you cannot

she wishes all her trans and otherwise queer patients happy pride when they come in, and hands out little rainbow stickers to kids she has to give shots to

her work takes up most of her day, and she regrets this during this month the most because she can't spend time with you

she's able to take the day off for your birthday and other important occasions, but patients need care

to make it up to you, the month of june is full of extra late-night dates once she's gotten home from the clinic and candlelit dinners.

SAMPO

i've said it before and i'll say it again: sampo runs an overpriced pride merch stall

and you look sooooo cute modeling all those pins and buttons and shirts and socks and hats and

has you stand around waving your flags decked out in all things rainbow, to attract customers

a couple of people rightfully accuse him of ripping them off, but sampo just blinks up at them innocently. they'd really accuse him of such a thing? during pride month of all times? have they no shame?

sampo has no shame. those customers were reacting reasonably.

when he's not conducting business, he's even more affectionate than usual, which, frankly, is difficult to do since he's usually glued to your side

"it's pride month!! we should kiss all the time obnoxiously in public to show people what queer love and joy look like"

babe....

JING YUAN

the general... has almost no time to spare for pride month

which, honestly, is such a disappointment to him. he was so looking forward to june and spending extra time with you

so instead, he has you accompany him to his work and keep him company and chat with him and sit on his lap on occasion and give him kisses when he's tired and

his coworkers are staring.

"do i detect homophobia in the room? during pride month? get back to work." (he's joking)

the lion gets a RAINBOW BOW TIE COLLAR and he is WORKING IT!!

he looks so dapper. he struts around like he's the handsomest man in the world

and he is, second to your jing yuan, of course

to show support for his community, the general flies a rainbow flag from the building

the gay is visible throughout the entire luofu

[octuscle]

Cursed Ken, part 1: Kemal, the janitor

There was a lot at stake for Patrick. Actually, it was about everything. He had invested an incredible amount of time and money in preparing for this appointment. He had to be successful. And he would be successful. His idea was brilliant. His preparation was excellent. He took a deep breath. The projector projected the image of a young athletic man onto the wall. The young man was obviously a janitor or something. The young man was made of plastic. And a small army of young athletic men made of plastic, one of whom was currently having an image projected onto the wall, stood on the table in front of Patrick.

"Gentlemen, the Barbie movie gives your product a tailwind that will open up completely new markets. Barbie and Ken have become socially acceptable. And I'm convinced that this offers unimagined opportunities for marketing Ken in particular"

It seems to be going well. The Head of Product Management reached for the janitor. And turned it in his hand.

"Whereas in the past, gay men never dared to buy a Ken doll without lying about it being for their little niece, today hundreds of thousands of customers with purchasing power can imagine having a Ken doll on the shelf in their bedroom. But these customers also need Kens that serve stereotypes other than the Malibu boy."

A young man, who looked a bit like Malibu Ken himself, smiled as he reached for the doll, which was dressed like a British redneck. Only in pink. It went really well!

"As well as new Kens, which cover current popular gay fetishes, we should also take into account the fact that Barbie is now a manager or a lawyer. So Ken should also be allowed to be a janitor or a garbage man. Especially as this also appeals to potential customers' fetishes."

A member of the controlling department took the figure of the soccer player in his hand. Patrick seized the opportunity immediately. He switched to the foil with the Germanic-looking Ken, who was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and had tattoos on one arm and one leg.

"With the European Football Championship in Germany this year, we have a major event that we can also exploit without paying license fees. We can place footballers, soccer fans and, as the epitome of masculinity, soccer hooligans. Everything that has to do with soccer this year…".

The head of product management cleared his throat. "May I interrupt for a moment?" he asked. Patrick nodded at him with a winning smile. "If you want my opinion, pack up your gay shit right now and leave the building. I didn't want this movie and I hate it. And the reason is that I feared excesses like this. I don't want a Ken who dresses like a faggot or a right-wing hooligan. For fuck's sake, does the prototype bodybuilder actually have steroid acne on his shoulders? Nobody wants to see that. And I certainly don't want to see it. Thank you for your efforts. But please leave. Go quickly and go far!"

Patrick stood open-mouthed in front of the screen with his presentation for a few seconds. Then he packed up without a word. He stuffed his artistically created dolls into a bag, put the computer in his laptop bag and left the room. He was on the verge of tears. He stuffed the bag with the dolls into the nearest garbage can. And then he left the building. Let Ken and Barbie choke you to death. Let them die of their fantasies. Anyone who even looked at Ken should become his fucking brainless image. How could he have thought he could make his fortune with these fucking figures? Never again!

There was an awkward silence in the meeting room. Not everyone present shared their boss's opinion. But no one dared to disagree. The two lucky ones who had a figurine in their hands discreetly slipped it into their jacket pocket. The head of product management took the janitor's Ken, stood up and said that he wanted to discuss this perversity with the legal department tomorrow.

It was mid-June. It didn't get dark until very late. Maybe that's why he hadn't even noticed how late it was. It was definitely time to call it a day. Where had that damn doll gone? He had it here on his desk… It was just too late, he was tired. But before he left, he had to go to the toilet. Damn it, he had to add toilet paper. And empty the garbage can. The snobs who were allowed to use the boardroom toilet often behaved like the ultimate barbarians. But it felt good to piss here. He would never get the privilege of doing it officially. But at this time of day? Who was going to forbid him?

The cleaning crew wouldn't be here for a few hours. He wiped over the urinals and washbasins with a few used paper towels. It was time to call it a day. But on the way out he could empty a few of the garbage cans along the way. Normally, he didn't pay attention to the contents of the garbage cans. Mostly boring papers. He assumed that the important stuff went into the shredding containers. There was something in one of the garbage cans on the conference floor that didn't belong there. Dolls. Various dolls that looked like Ken. In cool clothes. He'd never seen them like that before. Who threw something like that away? He packed it up once. It couldn't do any harm. Maybe he could sell the dolls…

Yes, he didn't have much to do with the blond Ken who stuck his mop in a pink cleaning bucket. But Kemal had even less to do with the powerful head of product management. He didn't want to deal with that kind of shit. He was here to service the air conditioning, replace light bulbs and sometimes fix faults in the elevator. It was a shitty job. But someone had to do it.

[archangeldyke-all]

Could we get a small chested kinda chubby reader please🤲🏽? Could be nsfw or sfw I've just been feeling bleh about myself.

of course! so sorry you're feeling bleh, hope this helps <333

men and minors dni

lets get one thing straight: sevika loves ALL tits.

it doesn't matter if they're big, or HUGE, or tiny, or non-existent-- sevika treats all tiddies the same: ravenously.

so while you might not be able to fill her entire palm with your breasts, it doesn't stop her from having her hands on them at all times. she just loves tits! and you're her girlfriend, which means you're legally obligated to let her play with yours, whenever she wants. (or at least that's what she tells you every time she starts palming your chest in public)

she loves the sensation of feeling your nipples slowly harden under your attention. if she could, she'd have you walking around with your nipples poking through all your shirts, 24/7. but-- she doesn't like that that makes other people look, so usually, after she pulls you into a dark corner for a few quick gropes, she'll throw her cape over your shoulders so no one else can see your goods.

you ask her one day what her obsession with your tits is. "they're not even that big. i got bigger fat deposits on my body you could play with." you joke, patting your stomach.

sevika chuckles, kisses your cheek, and reaches her hand down from where she was groping your tits to start massaging your belly. "almost as soft..." she contemplates. her face pulls into a frown as she fiddles your bellybutton. "but no nipples to play with. not a good enough replacement." she says as she shoots her hand back up to pinch your nipple again.

you just squawk and smack her head.

sevika loves your chubbiness, too, btw. she loves how soft you are. she loves that she can fall asleep on any part of your body and be comfortable.

she loves the way your skin is decorated in little stretch marks, loves the way it folds around your stomach and neck, loves the way it jiggles. she's always got her eyes on your stomach when you ride her, watching it sway and jiggle as you move. she thinks it's the hottest thing in the world.

she loves that you're a little more solid, a little more stable. it makes her feel like she won't crush you or hurt you if she squeezes you too tight or manhandles you in bed.

and she loves that your tits are small enough for you to go without a bra most days... cuz, you know. easy access for her, and all.

(she's actually been destroying the few bras you have left, just so that if you ever decide you do need one, you won't have any options. you don't know this, and you wont until you're looking for a bra to wear under a sheer top and find that all the elastic has been stretched out of your bra straps, and your underwires have been bent to poke you in the ribs.)

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary

[sorbeau]

hi its me again i feel legally obligated to ask about your thoughts on the new riz design (but also extends to al of the other new art for the bad kids too!!!)

HI SHOKO sorry this took so long to asnwer, it feels a little late to the party now but I have lots of thoughts and this has been in my drafts for a hot minute so I'll break my thoughts down in order <3

Fig

GOD DO I LOVE FIG'S DESIGN. It hasn't changed too drastically in many ways, it's largely the same beats with the plaid skirt, leather jacket, biker gloves, and docs, but there's a lot more detail pertaining to her character now. Ayda's feather earring is abviously a huge win, everyone loves to see it, but I love the small details like the added wallet chain on her skirt, the added ear piercings, and her painted nails. If I had to choose something I didn't like, it'd be the color of her shoelaces, which isn't a huge deal bc you know spyre might have different cultural beats, but it's very reminiscent of punk doc lace codes, which were a way to sort of factionize yourself among punks. Fig wears one purple and one red, and traditionally purple means gay pride(which is great and i would've picked it for her too) but red usually means you allign yourself with neo-nazi's and similar groups which. is definitely Not Fig. It's not a HUGE deal but, maybe some more research could've been put into it.

Gorgug

Gorgug's new design is so. Perfect. Amazing. Spectacular. No notes. It's exactly the changes I wanted to see. The goggles, the dirt-covered face, the ripped jeans, the bags and tools, the gloves, the most disgusting worn pair of convers you've ever seen. It's absolutely amazing and the artist has managed to bring all the beats we loved about his original design(his extremely fashionable purple pants) and mixes them perfectly with all of the new facets of Gorgug's personality that have changed and grown theough their adventures. A little detail I love is how the color of his headphones has changed to match with the rest of his outfit better, creating a more cohesive design with the introduction of more red/maroon tones. This was always a little bit of an issue with the old design for me. The colors sort of didn't go together.

Kristen

She's going through a break up. She's at the most chaotic she's ever been and she's trying to fix it. It is so genius to make her jacked. The bright yellow tracksuit is beautiful and exactly something Kristen would buy and wear every day. Plus the tiedye purple sports bra tying in her old church camp shirt aesthetic is brilliant. I'm mourning the loss of her sandals, but the matching shoes to her tracksuit can't be complained about. Not a whole lot to say, I'm excited about how this design will change and reflect her growth this season! Praise Saint Kristen Applebees!!

Adaine

THE ELVEN ORACLE IS COOL NOW!!! I love her jacket, all the patches and the toned down fur lining is absolutely perfect. I also love the cool strapped bags on her hips and legs, it's just a really cool adventurer addition cementing her as a bad ass practical caster. Her entire face seems more assured and relaxed, which is absolutely amazing for her and reflects how her resting state is no longer as addled with panic and anxiety as it used to be. Her hair also seems a lot more her! Not sure how to describe it, but it seems like she's focusing less on keeping herself perfect, and more on just keeping herself, herself! Not very big design swings or changes, but she doesn't need to change, she just needs to be true to herself. (Also. a huge fan of her cool magic circle shirt.) My only gripe. Give her blue hair. And pronouns. And glasses pretty please.

Fabian

That boy is the future of dance!!!!!!!!!! I love the color palette shift for his design, it's a really great way to show how he's grown out of Bill's shadow and embraced his own passions with the grey tones with red and gold accents. Also a huge fan of the fancy robed pants, tons of great movement lines and something a dancer would totally wear. On the same note however, I feel like it doesn't really go with the rest of his outfit. I love how the changes made are geared towards movement and dance(his shoes changing from sneakers to dance shoes is great) but I feel like the changes are all sort of mismatched? The dance shoes look a lot like tap shoes, but the pants look more big and flowy, better for a more leaping and running style of dance, and his jacket has almost nothing to do with dance. It's delightfully artsy and detailed, which is so chic and Fabian, but the shapes of it don't really match up, and especially without a clear view of the front it makes him look like he's wearing half of a matador outfit. I would've loved to see a more dramatic silhouette without the use of the battle sheet(which is absolutely perfect, no notes) with either lots of flowy parts for movement, or a sharp jacket with skinnier pants for that exaggerated silhouette. Again, I think this is really all due to a lack of research, but the spirit of Fabian is still in the room with us. The colors are great, the bandages on his hands are perfect, and the fanciful element is very on point, just needs some better shape language and cohesiveness.

Riz

There he goes, he's gone from gritty detective to gadget-heavy superspy. I LOVE the character choices that Murph made for Riz, he's become even more of a loser and seems a lot less hard and fast, and more generally passionate. In freshman and sophomore year, he was entirely goal oriented, completely focused on completing his mission and solving the mystery, this time around he's still got a mission, but because he can't do it all himself, he's sort of given the opportunity to branch out and explore himself. This is all to say, i love the insufferable loser hipster kid that he's become. He is truly the trinket goblin of all time, I love all his wild little gadgets and jewelry, and all the extra arcano-tech screens on his glasses are brilliant. I'm also a huge fan of his torso gun-holdster, which is a beautiful homage to his detective nature. The undercut is also obviously perfection. The loser teen-boy urge to cut away your beautiful hair for a nerdy undercut is so painfully lore accurate that it's one of my favorite details. It's probably because he's a dork. but I would love to know why he has rolled up pants and no socks. What is that. Why would he do that. ALSO STOP BEING A COWARD D20. GIVE HIM DIGITIGRADE LEGS AND A TAIL. CAT GOBLIN TRUTHERS UNITE!!!!!!!!!!

anyways that's probably the end of my rant for now. I love the bad kids and overall their designs are great. constantly wishing all of my headcannons were real but understanding that the cannon will never relent.

[stardustedseas]

id like to imagine ford catching up on all the things he missed in the past 30 years, like so much has happened. between huge historical moments,advances in technology (despite still being very far behind compared to what he had in the portal), society ever changing and progressing as well as all the media, he has A Lot to learn about.

while dipper shows him things like 9/11, the inflation, and lord of the rings, mable shows him sev'ral timez, puffy stickers and my miniature horse (my little pony)

could you imagine ford going to get gas for the first time since he got back and about having a heart attack when he sees it's 3+ dollars a gallon instead 😭

or or how much more accepting it is... things still arent perfect and there are plenty of mean and closed minded people, especially in smaller towns, but being a weird nerd with 6 fingers isnt a boarderline social life death scentence like it was in the 60s,70s,80s.

this is more modern day idea but if you also subscribe to queer of some flavor ford, i can just imagine how he felt when he found out same sex marriage was fully legalized. or that there are so many people out there like him and its completely normal to be like this. if you like the aro/ace ford, imagine him finding out that there is nothing wrong with him, that this is just how some people are and its okay, and just letting out a deep shuddering sigh of relief. same with bi/pan/gay ford, not only is liking someone of the same gender normal and not a sin, its actually so much more common than he thought and not something that can just be changed.

and while im not jewish like he is, i did grow up in a religious family so i can imagine how hed feel seeing how much more open and accepting everyone is, that the world isnt as bad or horrible as it once seemed.

anyways, i need to see ford watching star wars and lord of the rings with dipper then watching mlp and highschool musical with mabel (then watching soap operas with stan-)

also using puffy paint to make matching family shirts with mabel and playing magic the gathering with dipper

[apomaro-mellow]

Matchmaking Harringtons 7

Steve's extended family started coming into town about two days before the fourth of July. Steve and his parents played host and while Steve answered questions about his current significant other, he kept Eddie far away from the house for now. He hadn't told anyone about his newfound orientation or the fact that he was currently dating a man.

That could wait until they actually met Eddie and got to know him for real. For now, though, Steve entertained some of his younger cousins by taking them out to the arcade and some ice cream.

But soon enough, the Fourth arrived and the Harrington house was abuzz with activity. People were cooking inside and out and the younger ones were just waiting for it to heat up enough to jump in the pool. The official start time that Eddie was given was 11:30 so that was when he came. Right on the dot.

He knocked on the door and Steve answered, only to find his not-boyfriend once again.

"What're you wearing?", Steve asked, coming outside and shutting the door behind him so that they were both standing on the porch.

"I know what you're gonna say", Eddie started. He'd known since he looked himself in the mirror. He wear wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans with no rips in them. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail and to Steve's disappointment there were zero rings on his fingers.

Steve crossed his arms. "If you know, then why would you do this?"

"Just toning it down just a bit. I do want your family to like me."

"Aren't you always going on about forced conformity. And how we can't keep following societal norms when they can be so harmful?"

Eddie's eyes got big. "Babyyy", he grabbed Steve by the hips and pulled him in close to kiss his pout. "You are listening when I go on my rants."

"You're kinda hard to ignore, Eds. Now please tell me you have a change of clothes."

"I do. Help me change so we can be quick?"

Steve was normally helping Eddie undress in a hurry, not the other way around, but it wouldn't take long for someone to realize he was missing and see Eddie's van in the driveway and make the connection. So he went with him to the back of said van and helped him into something that was more 'Eddie' than what he currently had on.

Of course, hands wandered just a bit, they couldn't help it. But both were pretty focused on the actual task at hand.

Suddenly the doors to the back of the van opened and there was a 10 year old boy, catching Steve in the act of zipping (up!) Eddie's black, ripped jeans.

"Be cool, Bobby", Steve said.

"Mom!"

Not the best first impression to make with such impressionable eyes. But Steve ushered his cousin back inside, Eddie right behind them and the whole family right there as they came in through the front door.

"Hey, everyone", Steve greeted. "This is Eddie. My um-", he paused to clear his throat, feeling like he needed a drink. "He's my boyfriend. Eddie, this is everyone."

It felt like the longest silence of his life. And having so many eyes on him had never made Steve feel so vulnerable before.

"Oh", one of his aunts said. "Well your parents never told us-when you said you were dating someone we assumed-I-Diane?"

"Eddie's been very good to our Steve", Diane said. "So no one scare him off."

Eddie's new outfit had jeans with more personality, and a shirt with a band Steve knew about two songs from, neither that he'd play in front of this current crowd. His hair hung wild down his shoulders and his rings were back where they belonged. He was purely himself and if these people weren't into that, well, Steve had the full support of his parents at least. He just hoped the rest of his family would understand.

Diane was putting some pies in the oven for later when her sister approached.

"So you're fine with not having any grandchildren?"

"Steve and Eddie could adopt." Of course, she was mostly talking out of her ass. Gay marriage wasn't legal (yet) so gay adoption probably wasn't on the table. But she and her husband knew people who knew people.

Jonas was having his own conversation with his brother-in-law.

"I mean I sent my boy to boarding school from the 6th grade on and he never came home with a boyfriend. Somehow managed to sneak a girl in there too. And somehow in the middle of America, Steve found a-"

"A nice guy like Eddie?", Jonas interrupted while flipping a burger. "He's quite a find, but Steve can't take all the credit. Diane and I were actually the ones to find him."

"You found Steve a boyfriend?"

"We found Steve a steady boyfriend", Jonas emphasized. "You should've seen him going through girls like tissues, right Di?"

Diane was coming by with some more things for the grill. "Oh it was like a circus and Steve was driving around with a never ending clow car of girls."

"That bad, huh?", the uncle asked.

"Oh the girls were fine. It was just so many and he wanted him to get serious with someone."

Jonas nodded. "He and Eddie have been going strong since summer started."

"Guess it's a good thing if you don't need to pay a dowry. Who even is the girl in that relationship?", the uncle asked while watching both young men carrying tables to set up outside when the food was ready.

Steve could tell his parents were taking the brunt of the initial questioning and he promised to give them the best presents for the remainder of holidays of the year for it. He was able to introduce Eddie to his cousins. There were only a few as it was just his mom's side of the family with them this time. The youngest was Bobby and the oldest was just a year older than Steve.

After setting up the tables it was finally hot enough to justify jumping in the pool, which most of them did. As the resident captain of the swim team, Steve put on his trunks and performed his life guarding duty for the family while the adults cooked and set up other things while catching up, mostly about him.

Eddie was still fully dressed in his t-shirt and jeans, lounging on a pool chair while the rest of them splashed around. But he offered Steve a wolf whistle when he came out, dripping wet.

"Not even James Bond could resist", Eddie teased.

Steve came over to sit next to him, knowing the look in Eddie's eyes meant he was fighting every urge to get his hands on him. He grabbed a towel and dried his hair off a little.

"Any chance I'll see you in the pool? I've got extra trunks."

"You'll have to work a little harder than that to get me wet~", Eddie said in a low tone, their heads inclined together. Then Eddie remembered where they were and was about to pull back when Steve grabbed him by the back of his neck. "Stevie, people are probably looking."

"My nosy parents? Definitely. And anyone else can close their eyes if they don't wanna see."

And without anymore preamble, Steve brought him closer for a kiss. A quick thing, just a peck of the lips but still the most he'd gotten today with so many new people around them. Eddie was in a daze afterwards, it always took him a second to recover from Steve's kisses. When he did though, he remembered where they were and who could be watching.

Sure enough, when Eddie tore his eyes away from Steve's lovely face there was a whole crowd watching them, having stopped in whatever they were doing.

Eddie felt like he had ripped a bandaid off but was still bleeding underneath.

Part 8 FINAL

Tag Team

@tartarusknight @swimmingbirdrunningrock @estrellami-1 @potato-of-the-lord @dragonmama76 @m-owo-n @sticknpokelightningbolt @somegirlsomewhere @tinyplanet95 @samsoble @runniem @hallucinatedjosten @nburkhardt @littlewildflowerkitten @noctxrn-e @subversivecynic @larawrmonster @suikatto @platinum-sunset @imacowboy3 @tiny-enthusiast @netflixisacopingstrategymom @honorarybrit81 @manda-panda-monium @krazyperson @adaed5 @lololol-1234 @mrsjellymunson @uwujinniee @ellietheasexylibrarian

[lokiiied]

okay since roy wasn't in the locker room when the entire team clocked jamie as gay so I thought like what if roy knows he has a crush on jamie but thinks it's never gonna happen because he is 100% sure jamie is straight because he slept with so many women over the years oblivious about the fact that everyone clocks jamie as gay and then pining happens

no i don’t think you understand anon this is driving me INSANE. cuz obviously roy needed to be the one to go and talk to isaac since he’s the one who made him captain and they both have a tendency to let their anger build up etc. it was a really important moment.

but also interesting how they were the two people who, in that moment, we most wanted to be in the locker room.

obviously isaac, being colin’s best friend, who wasn’t there when he came out to the entire team.

and then roy, who, i am convinced if he was in the room jamie would have totally played up his reaction to the team clocking him as queer wayy more for roy. like, yjk he would have made direct eye contact with roy and back to the team with his hand to his heart like, “oh boys, i’m flattered…feels good to be seen.” and then done a subtle wink at roy or smth.

and can you imagine roy’s reaction to that?? he’d go all red and excuse himself to the boot room and after a couple minutes jamie’d come in n be like “hey?” and roy’d turn around furious and say “what the fuck was that?” and jamie, all tease would ask, “what was what?” and roy’d say, “you know what. just now. you winking at me and shit in front of everyone. it was fucking embarassing—” and jamie’d take a step forward, “why? you flirt with me in front of everyone all the time—” and roy’d scoff and say, “flirt? i don’t flirt with you, jamie. i’m your coach. that would be completely—” and jamie’d close the gap and cautiously bring his hands to roy’s shoulders, “roy, mate…calm down” and first roy would growl and then he’d take a breath, holding eye contact with jamie and exhale. jamie’d lower his hands and tuck them under his shirt like he does and take a small step back.

“i weren’t flirting…exactleh. i mean…unless you wanted it to be. i just…wanted you to know that i’m not straight either.” and roy’s expression would soften and he’d swallow his misdirected anger in exchange for nervous inquiry. “why?” and jamie’d look down at his shifting feet and shrug, “dunno. just thought you might wanna know.” then he’d look back up to meet roy’s eyes, searching them for some sort of signal as to how he felt about that answer…before remembering it was only half time. “uh, right then. i should probableh…” he’d point towards the door and pull roy back into reality with him. the pitch and the players and fans awaiting them outside. “right” would be all he could manage to get past his tongue. and jamie’d nod, “coach.” and pivot towards the door, his glance lingering for a moment past the shelves adjacent to roy. “william” he’d address the space before leaving roy standing there suddenly aware of the remaining presence.

“fuuuck.”

“i heard nothing” will promised, hands up in surrender. and roy growled just as a finger tapped at the window. he turned to see ted giving him a face as if asking, everything okay in there? and roy gave him a nod as if to answer, be out in a sec. but just as his hand was on door he heard a theatric throat clearing from behind. “fucks sake.” he turned to face the kitman.

“i know it’s absolutely none of my business—”

“this had better be the most fucking insightful shit i’ve ever heard in my fucking life kitman, or i swear to god you’ll have to to legally change your last name to i-couldn’t-keep-my-mouth-shut-when-professionally-appropriate-so-i-had-to-move-back-in-with-my-mum.”

will swallowed, eyes wide, and nodded. “um right then. okay, well…i think the worst thing you can do to yourself to is to…limit…or—” roy raised his eyebrows. “uh, confine ourselves to labels and boxes that we - or society - have put us in. i think it’s the most wonderful thing to see yourself opening up to new possibilities…to let go of binaries and stop restricting yourself - and others - from the fluidity of life’s experiences.” another, much more modest throat clear.

and roy would “hm” before leaving the boot room and taking his place on the pitch next to ted, opposite of beard. both turning their heads to roy, eyebrows raised, and roy giving a curt nod, which they mirrored before all three returning their attention to the game.

but roy’s head was not in the game. it wouldn’t be there tonight as he’d lie in bed trying to fall asleep. and it definitely wouldn’t be there tomorrow at 4am.

—

just so you all know…this was the writing i lost last night when my tumblr refreshed without wifi and apparently hadn’t saved any of it lol.

but luckily i am high rn and was able to remember almost word for word what i’d written so here you go.

[bengiyo]

Last Twilight Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we set the table and met Mhok and Day. Mhok is a mechanic down on his luck because of his legal troubles, who is looking for work to take care of himself and keep his deceased sister's beloved vehicle. Despite his past, he's trying to stay away from trouble. Day is a national level badminton player coping with rapid vision loss, whose family is looking for a caretaker for him. Day was amused by Mhok's attitude when he barged into the interview and suggested they hire him. After initial resistance, Mhok decided to take the job after a second encounter.

Y'all should have been more explicit about the dress code for Mhok, though it is amusing to consider that his style of dress in the house only matters for the family.

8 to 6 six days a week??? WTF

I'm glad Mhok is pleased with his salary because this is basically all he's going to do.

The entire scene of Mhok looking around Day's room is fantastic. It lets the audience learn a little about Day, but we also learned about Mhok because we see what catches his attention. Mhok is so tactile and literally sticks his hand in the fish tank, but touching and rearranging things in a blind person's room is going to cause frustration.

Mhok tossed a cigarette in their yard! That's a good character detail.

I'm with Day. I don't like the smell of cigarettes wafted off someone.

I really like Porjai. I said this last time, but I like how their relationship feels behind them that she can discuss it so casually, even if Mhok doesn't get her lesson.

Aon had so much personality. I am charmed. I love the handshake he has with Day. Whatever Day is working through, I'm glad he has a friend.

Closing the door on Mhok was good comedy.

Unsurprised that Day selected Mhok as a way to make his mom give up on a caretaker.

Ah, the show is continuing to connect the experiences. Mhok's perceived reputation is being presented as similar to Day being considered invalid.

I like day taking Day's expectations as a challenge.

Of course Day needed help and Mhok has to take off his shirt to not smell like smoke. We even go to see him crawl around from behind. Oh, BL, never change, except in the ways I demand of you.

Yes, touch his tiddies so we know they're real.

I wonder how the eye drops help to give him limited improved vision.

Yes, Mhok, make him help you save his fish. We got him out of his room!

Oh, they were having fun, but it seems they haven't disclosed his condition and Night brought friends over.

Curious if they follow up on that terse declaration later for Mhok to give up his eyes. I hope not!

Oh no. Rung flashback. Trigger warning for suicide aftermath.

Yeah, that seems about right for Mhok. Also glad this show is doing nonsexual nudity. Anyone required to care for another person is going to have to be engaged with someone beyond what others might consider polite boundaries.

Porjai jumped to fix this quick!

Oh, I really like that the gift is goldfish slippers. We can feel assured this is something Mhok picked out.

I may be gay, but Namtam looks so goddamn good in this show.

Omg Mhok is trying to understand how Day has to do tasks while wearing a shirt that says FART PROUDLY.

There he goes joking about Mhok's body again.

They just dumped the fish into the tank?? Are they trying to shock and kill it???

Ope. Said the name in the preview. Finish your drink!

This is working for me so far. I'm enjoying a straightforward premise being taken seriously. Really appreciating the lack of slapstick about the situation and dynamics.

[base0h]

Alright I’ve thought up more crack, what is the monster trio and Kidd’s and anyone else you’d like, search history IM KINDA SCARED FOR THIS ONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM GIGGLING STUPIDLY

a/n - muahahahahahaha >:) ty anime- you have given me the opportunity to make more crack and I love it 💜

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, major crack

- “lost brother gps Amazon”

- “nearest meat store”

- “food poisoning?”

- “are random fish, on the toilet for hours help”

- “plumbing?”

- “who’s Mario?”

- “toilet broke help me.”

- “how to fart super loud”

- “how to stop grandpa fist of love”

- “what is abuse?”

- “why no bitches?”

- “am I ugly test”

- “how to get girls”

- “hot to get rich for Nami-swan”

- “black lung Sanji”

- “roronoa zoro bounty”

- “sanji bounty”

- YES MY BOUNTY’S HIGHER THAN YOUR MOSS HEAD 💀

- “mermaidfindr.com”

- “all blue where?”

- “how to get 39cm tiddies workout”

- “what is four sword style?”

- “do you wash colors with whites?”

- “gps”

- “how to read maps”

- “what is compass?”

- “Sake-sexual?”

- “Urban dictionary”

- “Can a hawk be my dad?”

- “perona.org”

- “why do I need to shower?”

- “Correct shade of moss”

- “why does everyone say I’m from Florida?”

- “how to legally murder people”

- “how to hide from world gov”

- “partner laughs like a psycho but I love him help?”

- “am I gay?”

- “nail polish crimson blood of my enemies shade 56”

- “why is my nail polish chipping?”

- “Sephora on grand line”

- “mommy milkers but I’m a man?”

- “SBS chest sizes”

- “shirt won’t button”

- “I think I’m in love with my best friend”

a/n - help me 💀

[qqueenofhades]

Is it... bad that I just do not CARE about men's mental health no matter how many articles I see about it? "single men are lonely :(((" They made the manosphere roe is overturned and are railing against no fault divorce. I just... don't have energy for this right now. Like i've advocated for men's mental health before, but I'm seeing an INFLUX of "what about men??? they need WIVES!" sentiment from the right and i just. I'm just not feeling it.

No, you're not a bad person at all. The intense legal misogyny and widespread cultural revanchist toxic-masculinity grievance politics right now are absolutely exhausting, and I often feel the same way. However, I think it's possibly useful to differentiate what's actually upsetting you the most, and how that's not the same thing as what the peddlers of this narrative would like you to think. After all, you're not fed up with men's mental health per se; you're fed up (and rightfully so) with the reactionary right-wing fascist narrative that constantly insists that helpless men are victims of the evil women and gays, that the only way for a (white, straight, Christian) man to be happy or a "real man" is by engaging in toxic masculinity, traditional patriarchy, and the destruction of feminism, and that Manhood (tm) is under some kind of existential threat by those soft wimpy liberals who talk about feelings and other gross stuff, and not just Beer, Guns, God, and Freedom. (You know, as if the entirety of human history has happened just to get us back to this point of caveman patriarchy, but let's not talk about Bruno.)

Extreme and macho masculinity/insisting that there's only one way to be a man/any gender variance or departure from traditional norms is Bad, are all key social features of fascism. That's why a) there's such a backlash against trans people right now, and b) most of that concern has focused on the idea of "men in dresses" pretending to be women, "betraying" their gender assigned at birth, "preying" on (poor, helpless, unaware, feeble) women, and otherwise voluntarily relinquishing their manhood, which under fascism is synonymous with power and therefore the worst crime imaginable. After all, with these ludicrous state laws about being forced to dress as your gender assigned at birth -- who do you think is going to be most affected by that? I'm sure they'll get around to criminalizing women wearing trousers and plaid shirts eventually, but it's really hard to tell if a woman is "dressing according to her biological gender." If a male-presenting or AMAB person attempts to dress in more feminine fashion, however, that is the heart of the problem and what fascism is trying to restrict and outlaw.

After all, regardless of what the right wing carps and sobs and screams about, "manhood" is not a unitary, singular category, and rich, white, straight, Christian, Trump-loving men are not the "default" standard for manhood, no matter how many terrible books Josh Hawley might write about the subject. Black/Hispanic men, Indigenous men, trans men, queer men, disabled men, immigrant men, poor men, Muslim men, etc., are all also men, but obviously fascism doesn't value them or think they're complying with the heteronormative white supremacist paradigm. So yeah, obviously all their talk about "men's rights" basically boils down to "women should voluntarily relinquish all the legal and social advancements of the last 150 years in order to meekly serve men, uphold white theocratic fascism, and establish Gilead without a complaint, like good biblical helpmeets!" So THAT, or at least it feels like to me, is what you're angry about, and you should be!

Because the right wing has been so successful at casting "men" in general under this one category, it can be hard to pick apart or see any nuance in what's going on, and you don't have to give the time of day to those "poor mistreated men need tradwives!" nonsense pieces. But by continuing to push back against this awful definition of manhood, you can help show how it's interlinked with fascism and racism, it's inflicting terrible damage on men themselves, and help men understand that they DON'T need to live like that or force themselves into that paradigm in order to be successful. So yeah.