#I opened the book at a random page but it's one of the most spoiler lore dumps from Shadow of the Moon lmao

[shiawasekai]

Despite my ebook addiction, I own these books in physical. I really cannot overstate how important Youko and this setting are to me.

[loveinhawkins]

Eddie is writing new song lyrics. Dustin discovers them on a random Saturday when they’re having pizza at Steve’s; Eddie asks Dustin to get one of his old campaign notes, and Dustin reaches for the wrong journal.

“Oh, not that one,” Eddie says with a shrug, but his eyes go a little thoughtful at the sight of it in Dustin’s hands. For some reason he pauses, and then he says, “You can still read it if you want, man.”

And Dustin stares at him, certain it’s a trick, because Eddie is notorious for ensuring that any potential Hellfire spoilers are kept under lock and key. But then he opens the book and reads.

And he gets it.

The lyrics are clever, because they hide under metaphor, apocalyptic imagery and all that stuff, but it clicks when Dustin gets to a verse about a tune echoing through a mall, ‘and it’s a song you know, you’ve known it all your life,’ and he’s suddenly thrown back to when he explained how Steve worked out the location of the Russian code, and Eddie was taking it all in, eyes as round as pennies.

Dustin sets down the notebook and says, “It’s about us.” It’s not a question.

Eddie nods. “Yeah.”

“You make it sound a lot more poetic than it actually was,” Dustin says.

But Eddie doesn’t tease back, just gives a contemplative little smile and says, “Really? I don’t think so.”

And that’s as far as they get in talking about it, because Eddie suddenly glances away, and his smile changes ever so slightly, gets softer around the edges. He turns back to Dustin and mouths, Look.

Dustin does. Steve has fallen asleep, curled up in the corner of the couch. His head is just barely resting in his hand, nodding forwards precariously every so often.

Dustin hears Eddie give an almost silent tsk, which is funny; he must have picked it up from Steve. He quietly goes over and moves Steve with a gentle touch until Steve’s head is resting comfortably against the cushions.

Steve murmurs wordlessly, eyes closed, then settles back into sleep.

Eddie catches Dustin’s eye; he mimes, Shh with a wink.

And something in the back of Dustin’s mind falls into place. …Huh.

There are days when Eddie has the journal and days when he doesn’t—he cycles through notebooks constantly, most of them having been started with a specific purpose before devolving into chaotic scribbles for anything and everything.

But this one stays consistent.

And whenever he does have the journal, he lets Dustin open it to any random page and read for as long as he likes.

It doesn’t exactly take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that a verse waxing lyrical about a protective soldier finally laying down his armour and resting is about… someone in particular.

And that makes Dustin wonder whether ‘and it’s a song you know, you’ve known it all your life’ isn’t just about a mechanical horse playing Daisy, Daisy. In fact, maybe it’s not about that at all.

He doesn’t mention anything, just says that Eddie’s writing is good when he hands the journal back over. It’s hardly a major compliment, except every time, Eddie says, “Thanks,” in an almost uncertain tone Dustin’s never heard before, like just hearing that’s really touched him.

And then one day Eddie loses the journal. Dustin doesn’t realise what’s wrong at first, just knows that Eddie is agitated, rooting around in the back of the van when Dustin sidles in for a ride home after school.

Dustin sees movement outside, and he looks up to see one of the substitute teachers who’s always got a stick up her ass standing at the school entrance. She’s holding Eddie’s journal.

“Uh, Eddie?”

“What?” Eddie snaps. Then he follows where Dustin is looking. “Oh Jesus fucking Christ.”

But he doesn’t let any of his irritation show when he hops out of the van and heads for the teacher.

Dustin knows Eddie talks a good game when it comes to sticking it to authority, all I’ll flip him the bird and so on, but there’s none of that arrogance now. Dustin can’t hear what they’re saying, but he can read the body language, the teacher’s tight-lipped smile, the way Eddie has crossed an arm over his chest self-defensively; he looks suddenly very young and unsure of himself.

The confrontation ends with the teacher handing Eddie the journal—more shoving it at him, really. Eddie gives her a curt nod before he heads back to the van, slamming the door shut as he gets inside.

He throws the journal in the back, and Dustin, who has carelessly destroyed countless textbooks, somehow finds himself saying, “Watch it, dude! You’ll rip it.”

Eddie doesn’t reply. He reverses out the parking lot and makes a turning for Dustin’s house, grinding his teeth.

The silence goes on until it’s unbearable, and Dustin tentatively asks, “What did she want?”

Eddie laughs, a nasty, thoroughly unconvincing sound. “Oh, ya know. Just returning lost property. Good fucking Samaritan.”

When he gets home, Dustin finds a note from his mom, that she’s over at his aunt’s and there’s some leftover pasta in the fridge. Dustin checks, and there’s easily enough for two.

He runs outside thankfully before Eddie has gone.

“You can’t expect me to be left in the kitchen unsupervised,” Dustin says. “I might burn it down.”

Eddie snorts. “From sticking pasta in the microwave?” Then he seems to hear himself and adds, “Yeah, somehow wouldn’t put it past you, Henderson.”

So they end up eating lasagne straight out of the dish together, playfully battling for the last slice like their forks are swords.

“What did she really want?” Dustin asks eventually. He can’t help but notice that Eddie had brought the journal in with him, keeps tapping his finger on the cover uneasily.

Eddie sighs, rubs a hand down his face. He nods down at the journal. “I’d left it in a classroom that some middle schoolers use for Drama Club. Apparently there’s some concerns about the appropriateness of—”

“That’s bullshit!” Dustin says. “Why would she even—”

“Dustin,” Eddie says very quietly. He closes his eyes. “You know why.”

And Dustin does. That’s why he’s so damn angry.

Because some of the lyrics (not all, but some), are love songs. And a good number of those are unambiguously from the point of view of a boy, speaking to another boy.

Eddie sighs again, presses a thumb into the inner corner of one eye. It looks like he’s warding off a headache. Dustin knows that he isn’t.

He could say I don’t care that you’re gay, but that doesn’t sound quite right; it isn’t about not caring, it’s about…

“You know I like you, right?” Dustin says.

Eddie gives a choked little laugh. He drops his hand, opens his eyes and says, with a faint smile, “No shit? I guessed you wouldn’t share lasagne with your mortal enemy.”

“True,” Dustin concedes. He presses on. “But I meant, like…” He bats Eddie’s hand away from the journal so he can tap it instead. “Like this. It’s all a part of you, and you’re really cool, so that means—like, it’s all cool. It makes you, you. You know?”

For a long moment, Eddie just stares at him. “You said you so many times, I don’t think it’s a word anymore,” he says, but he’s blinking a lot, and Dustin sees his lips quiver. “Um. Thanks.”

He still sounds sad which absolutely will not stand. Dustin gives him a few seconds of reprieve, before he launches at him with a karate style chopping motion.

Eddie chuckles. “You little shit!”

And they tussle until, breathlessly laughing, they’re both stretched out on the couch on their backs, side-by-side.

“You should let Steve read some,” Dustin suggests.

Eddie’s laughter trails off. “Mm,” he says, non-committal.

“I mean it!” Dustin recalls a verse he’d read only a couple of days ago, one that wasn’t dressed up in symbolism.

And you want to tell him you’re enough just like this darling, you always have been

“I don’t know,” Eddie says. “So far that stuff’s had an audience of one, and I think he might be a bit,” Eddie gestures with his thumb and forefinger, “biased. Being family and all.”

Dustin smiles, feels a proud little glow in his chest. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ve seen Steve hiding love poetry books. Like he underlines that shit. It’s embarrassing.”

Eddie cackles. “Well. Some of my shit’s embarrassing so…”

Dustin claps his shoulder gravely. “I mean, I wasn’t gonna be the one to say it.”

Eddie pushes him nearly right off the couch; he pulls him back before he can fall. “Oh, fuck you.”

They’re quiet for a bit, and then Dustin suggests a movie, and when he’s putting the VHS in, he catches Eddie watching him with shiny eyes.

“Hey,” Eddie says. He smiles. “I love you.”

And God, it’s so much better hearing those words like this, with Eddie in front of him, safe and whole.

And Dustin doesn’t need to rush his reply this time. He picks up the journal and passes it to Eddie, careful of the binding.

“I love you, too,” he says, and the proud glow in his chest feels even stronger. “Now get writing, Shakespeare.”

[yayakoishii]

Lucky Bastard | Kalego x Reader

Fandom: Mairimashita! Iruma-kun

Pairing: Naberius Kalego x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre/Tags: Plotless, Silly, Fluff? Crack?

Summary: It's your birthday and the class just found out that you have a husband. Who is the lucky bastard?

A/n: this was absolutely random. it has like, no plot, no purpose, just me writing a short silly fic abt teachers who are married and haven't told the students !! such a fun trope ;; I'm like, 3 eps away from finishing the anime's season 3, but this fic is spoiler free!! hope you enjoy this <3

also available on ao3!

You hummed happily under your breath as the students filed in for their lecture. You were one of the most friendly and popular teachers at Babyls because you were approachable and kind. All the students always greet you happily and strike up conversations without hesitation.

"Good morning, (y/n)-sensei!" Elizabetta said cheerfully as she passed by your desk. You wished her back but she paused and instead looked at you with wide eyes. "You look really happy, sensei! Did something good happen?"

"Not quite," you answered, giving her a warm smile. "You could say it hasn't happened yet, I suppose."

"So something good is going to happen?" Lied said from behind Elizabetta. Everyone was in the class already and they all seemed curious about your unusually happy and excited state.

"It's not all that interesting to you guys," you waved it off and gestured to the two to go sit on their seats.

"But I'm curious about what's got you so happy too, sensei," Iruma added. Everyone around was nodding so you just sighed and gave them a tiny smile.

"If I answer your question, will you all be good students and pay attention?" You asked. A chorus of incoherent affirmations echoed and you shushed them. "Alright, alright. It's just that today is my birthday–"

"It's your birthday?!"

"Sensei, you should have told us!"

"We'd have got you a gift!"

"No need for that," you sighed but felt touched nonetheless. "As I was saying, since it's my birthday, the principal let me have the rest of the day free the moment my lectures end so I'm going on a date with my husband. It's been months since we got to go on one, y'know."

There was pin drop silence surprisingly. You blinked and then there were shouts and screams. The class had no clue that you were married! You had somehow let it slip by them without them even realising.

"Calm down, calm down!" You shushed them again. Thankfully they listened and you picked up your book. "Alright now, that's enough about me. You come to school to learn and gain knowledge."

"We just learned something new about you, though, sensei!"

"This is important knowledge too."

"It really isn't," you laughed and opened the textbook to the page you had stopped at last time. "Now. Last lecture, we were discussing the importance of pronunciation when casting spells…"

You started the lecture, unknowing of the commotion you had accidentally also started. Everyone's favourite teacher was married and had a husband? The news spread like wildfire amongst the first years and by the end of the lunch break, everyone was talking about what your husband might be like. The senior students already knew who your husband was but it was always fun to watch the freshmen try to figure it out.

"He has to be a really nice and sweet person to be married to (y/n)-sensei, right?" Kerori suggested. "She wouldn't like someone who is unkind and rude…"

"What if her type is a bad boy though?" One of the boys butted in.

"Can you even imagine that?"

Everyone silently thought over it and decided that Kerori was probably right.

"Whatever he's like, isn't it super romantic?" Elizabetta squealed lightly, hiding her cheeks under her hands. "They're married but she was so excited to go on a date with him! They must be so in love."

"He's one lucky bastard," Lied said, clutching at his chest dramatically.

"Yeah," Clara chimed in, looking jealous. "He gets to play with (y/n)-sensei all the time!"

"Um, guys," Iruma laughed nervously. Everyone looked at him. "Weren't we going to get her a gift?"

Oh.

They forgot all about that.

•

Kalego didn't know what was going on but he could tell that his class was up to something. They were all fidgety and not paying attention (although, that wasn't rare or even surprising) and he could still hear incomprehensible murmurs. They usually did a better job of hiding their conversations too. Something was definitely up.

When the bell rang, a few of them automatically sprang up but Kalego didn't even blink and glared at them.

"Sit down," he said sharply. "We'll have ten minutes more of class time since you all displayed such great concentration today."

The class collectively groaned and started complaining. The purple haired demon crossed his arms over his chest and gave them his meanest look.

"I could have held you back for a whole hour but I have something to do today," he said calmly. "Be grateful it's only ten minutes, you idiots."

"But (y/n)-sensei will be gone by then!" Lied complained. Kalego paused and raised an eyebrow at him.

"And what do you need her for?" He asked, looking even more eviller than usual. Lied shivered and instinctively hid behind Jazz, who just laughed nervously.

"Don't you know, sensei?" Elizabetta tilted her head in question.

"It's her birthday today!" Clara jumped on the spot, vibrating from the desire to escape the classroom. Kalego just stared at them all so the class decided to continue.

"We made her a gift!" Goemon produced a big box wrapped in paper of your favourite colour.

"She will be leaving now," Jazz added. "If we don't give her this now, she'll be gone before we can do it."

"Please, Kalego-sensei," Iruma pleaded, giving his best puppy eyes. Kalego humphed and looked away. He was about to say something when a familiar voice could be heard from outside the classroom.

"Kalego, are you done, dar– Oh!"

You were standing at the doorway, wearing a cute outfit. Surprised by the students inside, you gave them a small smile.

"I'm sorry, is the class not over yet?" You asked Kalego. "I didn't interrupt, did I?"

Everyone turned to look at Kalego who just glared at you then sighed.

"No, we're done," he answered. Everyone cheered and immediately pounced on you, who startled at the sudden enthusiasm as they pushed a big gift in your hands.

"What's this?" You asked, surprised. You hadn't actually expected them to get you a gift so quickly.

"It's something we made for you, sensei," Iruma smiled up at you. Your chest felt warm as you looked at the students who were all beaming and singing happy birthday to you.

"Happy birthday to you~!"

"You're all very sweet," you told them when they finished, ruffling Clara's hair. "Thank you for the gift."

"Anything for our favourite teacher!"

That made you laugh. You were totally going to tease Kalego with this later.

"You look really beautiful, sensei!" Elizabetta beamed. Your eyes softened at her compliment.

"Thank you, I'm sure my husband thought the same when he bought it for me," you smiled down shyly at the outfit. The girls started giggling and awwing over your blush and it only embarrassed you more, considering you could feel Kalego's intense stare over your figure. "Ah, I have to leave now. Kalego?"

"Ready," he popped up next to you and you tightened your arm around the gift as you smiled gently at him. "Let's stop by the dorms first so you can drop your gift off."

"Ah, sure," you nodded. The two of you started walking out. "I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that you totally forgot an outfit to change into."

The class watched you two leave, happy from the success of giving you the gift in time. Until…

"Wasn't she going to go on a date with her husband after the lectures?" Lied mumbled.

"Why would Kalego-sensei need to change his clothes?" Kamui asked.

"Why did she come here first?"

"Didn't Kalego-sensei say that he had something to do today?" Even Alice couldn't help but add on to the conversation.

The class looked at each other. There were no words to describe the shock, horror and disbelief they were feeling.

"There's no way."

"We're just jumping to conclusions," Jazz insisted.

"Yeah, there's no way she would ever like someone like him, much less marry…"

Even as they tried to deny it, suddenly all the interactions between you and Kalego made sense. The way you always hung around him. The way you always smiled so warmly when you were talking to him. The way Kalego's rare soft smile had been that one time when you had been laughing too hard at a student's submission (which Jazz had reported after witnessing it in the staffroom).

The way Kalego always glared harder when the class talked about you.

"He's totally the jealous and possessive type, isn't he?" Jazz sighed, placing his fingers at his temple.

"I can't believe this."

"Does that mean I was right? (Y/n)-sensei likes bad boys?"

Everyone resigned themselves to the knowledge they had just received. After all, denial would not change reality. Their favourite, kind teacher was married to their sadistic class teacher. Lied burst into tears as he cried:

"Kalego-sensei turned out to be the lucky bastard!"

°•❀•°

all likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

[sardonic-the-writer]

—a stakeout

SUMMARY | a late night steakout with tangerine has you questioning how you really feel for him

PAIRING | tangerine x reader

REQUESTED | no

WARNING | mentions of guns, hit men, murder, some angst, etc

WORD COUNT | 2k+

AUTHORS NOTES | no spoilers for bullet train! and as much as i love the rivals/enemies to lovers troupe with tange, here's some softer stuff. happy holidays!

🍊 Masterlist 🍊 Navigation 🍊 Rules 🍊

Lemon had done this on purpose.

He had always had the ability to read people well when he wasn't busy talking about that train show of his. You swore he could tell what you were feeling before you did most times—instantly there with a handful of tissues or some reaffirming words before you even knew it. Most times it was real a help.

Most times.

That was all you could think as you stared out a tinted window into the cold night. The leather of the car seat underneath you was warm from hours of constant body heat, your legs surely numb from blood loss by this point.

From next to you sat a tall figure, dressed to the nines per usual. Soft ringlets of messy brown hair fell in his eyes, only ever moving as he let out a big sigh on occasion.

Tangerine rested his head in one hand, the other drumming his fingertips across the steering wheel as he clutched it. Flashes of moonlight would steadily dance over your vision as the luminescence caught sight of the metal rings decorating his fingers.

His rings. Seperate pages in one giant book it often seemed. Each one of them told an individual story throughout his life. The pitch black ring on his pinky? The first time he'd ever gotten into a fist fight on the job, that one had left a mark deep enough in the other guys face to shed buckets of blood. A lucky hit. Tangerine often told that story with pride, boasting that you would still be able to see the scar he left behind to this day.

The chunky gold one situated snugly on his pointer? Lemon had snatched that off a random bloke that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time a few years ago. It had been right when they had first gotten into the business, presenting it to his twin afterward with a clap on the back as a job well done. A sick gift of sorts, but it still managed to make each of them smile when they looked at it.

And that smooth, rose gold band hanging around his chest—dangling loosely on a silver chain? Well that was the reason you were currently sitting in a car in the dead of night.

Lemon was no fool. The moment he had seen you pull out that small gift box for his brother last week, he had recognized that love sick smile on your face. The way your eyes shone with excitement as you practically bounced on the balls of your feet when he went to open it. Lemon should be able to recognize it after all. It was the same look Tangerine got anytime you entered the room.

It was antagonizing for him really. Watching the both of you harbor crushes for each other in your own ways. (Tangerine; constantly checking for texts from you when he was away, using more than enough loving nicknames for you just to see your ears grow red. You; buying anything and everything that reminded you of him, doodling little drawings of the man on the corner of your loose leaf nktebooks at briefings before quickly erasing them.)

Finally he had had enough, pulling you off to the side last night. He had been a bit too rough about it for his liking, but it didn't matter now.

"Here's the plan." He didn't even stop to acknowledge your confused expression, questions surely bubbling on the tip of your tongue. "I'm sick. Very sick. You're not. Tha' stake out tomorrow night? You're goin' on it mate."

"The fuck Lemon?"

"Mate, just trust me. I know you fancy m' brother. Just take th' opportunity."

He had taken your stunned silence as a yes, giving you his best smile before moving on like nothing had happened.

So far, that was the only thing you had been able to focus on the entire time you'd been sitting idle on this hill. Not your target or his friends' late night activity you were supposed to be monitoring. Just re-running things over and over in your mind until you were dizzy with the effort.

All the times you had tried to be subtle with the longing looks and sporadic gifts. All the nights you had lay wide awake staring at the ceiling. Wondering if it would even be possible for someone like him to love you back. How did Lemon know? Were you really that obvious? Did anyone else know?

More importantly, did Tangerine know?

"Alright. S' going on in that lil head of yours (Y/n). Been quiet all night. Not like you."

Tangerine was now facing you. Arm draped around the back of your seat as if preparing to back out of a parking space. Heat from his hand radiated mere inches from your neck, but you pushed your shiver down with a forceful swallow.

"The mission." You shrugged, not moving your gaze from its spot on the window. Hoping that your response would be the end of this conversation.

"Yeah right." Tangerine just snorted. "You've never cared for these kinds of jobs love."

You forced the butterfly in your stomach to be killed off one by one. Refusing to be affected by the nickname.

"Guess I do now." Your shoulders moved with the effort of another shrug.

Tangerines mouths dipped down into a slight frown. He had been looking forward to a night alone with you. Maybe even going to get some food afterwards, even if just under the guise of two friends having a meal together. He would take it. He would take anything involving you at that point if he was being truthful.

Calloused fingers gently cradled your chin, softly gripping it as Tangerine turned your head to face him. You finally got a proper look at him, seeing the way his baby blue eyes rippled with concern as they traced unseeable patterns on your face. You were so focused on his intense stare that you forgot to remind yourself not to lean into his hand.

"You alright love?"

It would be so easy to kiss him. Just a little stretch of your neck and—

"I'm fine." His hand fell away from your face as you jerked yourself away. You almost immediately regretted it, wanting nothing more to feel him against you for a moment more.

"(Y/n)—"

"I'm just peachy Tan." You snapped, suddenly feeling angry. "Can we get back to our jobs now? You know. The thing we came here to do?"

Tangerine felt his own face flare up with anger. A rare feeling when it came directed at you.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He frowned with a bit more bite to his tone than he intented. The sound of it made a flicker of regret cross your face before it was replaced with a scowl. "Seriously, who fucken pissed in your oatmeal this mornin?"

"Oh like you don't fucking know." Your own teeth grit against each other as you glared at him. The both of you now locked in a heated staring match. It wouldn't be a suprise if the windows started to fog up. The car certainly seemed like it was a lot hotter than it had been a few minutes ago.

"What, so I can fucken read your mind now?" He ran a hand through his hair in a jerky movement. The way your heart fluttered at his disheviled state drove another molten spike of rage into your heart, frustrated with yourself for finding him attractive even in the middle of an argument.

"Sometimes I really hate you Tan." You hissed. How it had gotten to this point you had no idea. But each word was like a nail to the heart for you.

"Yeah? Well, you're not exactly a joy ta be around all the time either, sunshine."

"And that's another thing!" You were full on yelling now, probably looking like a crazy person to any passing cars as you threw your hands in the air. "Stop fucking calling me those names! I bet you think you can just charm your way into anyone's pants with that huh?"

"When the fuck did I ever say anything like that!? And I thought you liked the nicknames for fucks sake!"

"I do!" You hissed with clenched fists. "The problem is I like them too fucking much! I like you too fucking much Tan! And it's killing me knowing I can't do a single goddamn thing about it!"

It was only after it was already out there did you realize what you had really said.

"Fuck. Listen—"

You didn't get any farther than that before Tangerine slammed his lips into your own. A sound of muffled suprise made it past your lips before it was quickly swallowed by him, along with the rest of your breath. The faint feeling of something prickly ticking your upper lip sang in your head as you realized it was his mustache, resulting in a silent sort of laughter. Teeth clicked against each other harshly before you reached up to rest a hand on his jaw and the other in his hair, steadying his pace to a softer, more tender one.

He only broke away in time for you to notice how fuzzy your head was becoming at the lack of oxygen. Gasping for breath, you brushed a hand over your lips. As if checking to make sure that had really just happened. Or maybe to keep the moment bottled up forever, solidifying it with the graze of your fingers.

Both of you took a moment, panting for breath as a way to fill the silence.

"Did you just—?"

"Yeah."

"Did we just—?"

"Sure did."

"And that means you're—?"

"If you ask anymore questions I might have to kiss you again (Y/n)."

The smile in his voice shone through. You allowed yourself one as well, eyes watering.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for." The englishman sighed, resting his elbows on his thighs as he watched you stare star struck at him. "Please tell me I didn't seriously misread the situation there." He added on as an afterthought with a chuckle, already knowing the answer as he looked deep into your eyes.

"I'm sorry Tangerine." The sudden apology left you with a breathy quality. Tears were threatening to fall at a rapid pace now, one or two escaping. You couldn't tell if they were from remorse or joy. "I didn't mean that. Any of it."

"What about th' part where you confessed your undying love for me?"

He laughed as you went to hit him in the chest playfully, noting how the tears in the corner of your eyes began to disappear.

"You know what I meant. And I did no such thing." Your efforts to conceal a smile were fruitless for once. "You just got lucky this time."

"This time?" He reached a hand out to brush the pad of his thumb across your cheek with a sudden fondness. "Nah. Been plenty lucky for a while now, love."

"Sap." You mummbled, closing your eyes with a sigh as he continued to leave soft strokes against your skin.

"Just for you darling."

You really would have to thank Lemon when you got back home.

[bogginswritings]

Little Astarion blurb

Little Astarion x Tav. I haven't finished the game yet, like not even close, but I thought this was cute. I saw a couple of these prompt fly by on my tiktok fyp. I haven't written in a while, so Astarion might be a little OOC. Also, not proofread. fuck it we ball. I guess this has minor spoilers for the game?

Word count: 1000+ Summary: Astarion told Tav he doesn't remember what he looks like, Tav decides to help out.

It was his rare moment of vulnerability with me. One where I had to hold him, unable to comfort him with words. I could tell him it was okay, or that I could fix it, but the harsh reality was that I could not. Astarion knew that, I think it is why he accepted the hug. IT was the most I could offer and the best he could take.

It was in a random chest along the road I found it hidden; a sketchbook and a pencil. Some of the pages had been filled out already, drawings of animals and what not. Though there were enough empty ones left. I am far from the best artist around, but I am decent enough when I have a reference. And luckily, I had.

The lanterns around Astarion’s tent accentuated his face even more, the shadows casting over him. His features appeared even sharper. I sat by the campfire, a reasonable distance away. Thankfully, the vampire was rather focused on whatever book he was reading. He seemed to read something every single night, and I still had no clue what exactly, just that he was pretty invested in it. I was thankful for it now, though. He wasn’t exactly paying attention to his surroundings, so it didn’t look too weird when I was staring directly at him while scribbling away on the blank pages. It took me a while, wanting to make sure it was perfect, to get his features right.

When I was done and ready to show it, I suddenly doubted if it was worth it. Maybe it would look weird; you do not just draw your road companion. Right? I shrugged, to hell with it. Surely doing something with a good intention shouldn’t be a reason for him to suck me dry. Literally.

With a sigh I stood up, closing the book. I walked over to his tent, the toe of my boot nudging the pillows he was seated on. Astarion looked up, his red eyes meeting mine. Everytime I see them I wonder why it took me by surprise he is a vampire. He rested the book in his lap, an eyebrow raising, “Well, hello, darling. Is there a particularly good reason you’re interrupting a perfectly good read?”

I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at his dramatics. Instead I flopped down on some pillows next to him, my legs crossing, “I think my mere presence is a good enough reason,” I retorted. To my amusement, I got “I can’t argue with you there” back. I let out a sigh, holding up the book, “I drew you something.”

His brows raised, an intrigued look etched onto his face, “Oh?”

I opened the book, quickly flipping through it to show it to him. He frowned as he examined the paper, taking the book from my hands, “Well, thank you for this perfectly good drawing of a goat?” He looked at me, “If this is your way of flirting with me, I have to admit you could do a lot better.”

“What?” I snatched the book from him. I had opened it on the wrong page, a drawing of a goat with some information from the previous owner drawn on it. “Shit-” I muttered, trying to quickly flip to the correct page. My calloused hands, however, had some trouble actually grabbing onto the correct page. It took some colorful curses and angry fingers, but soon I had the right page in front of me, a drawing of the man before me on it. I handed it back to Astarion, “That wasn’t- This is what I drew you.”

His hands took it again, his eyes widening as he skimmed over the page. I held my breath as he did. With this elf, any reaction was to be expected. He is not always the most predictable, to say the least. “You drew this?”

My eyes met his again, and I nodded as I slowly let out that breath, “Yeah.”

It was silent for a brief moment, though I felt like maybe time had stopped and it just started playing again. “Why?” he asked.

“You told me you haven’t seen what you look like in a long time. I don’t know- I guess I wanted to show you. I’m sorry if that’s weird- or creepy. I didn’t-” I was cut off, the breath pushed out of me as he lurched forward. My initial thought was that he definitely did think it was creepy and now came to fucking eat me, or something, but instead his arms wrapped around me. His embrace was cold, but it still warmed my cheeks and I could feel my heart increasing speed. I then realized my hands were stiff next to my body, and I decided to return the hug.

“Thank you,” his breath tickled my neck, “I forgot what I looked like, what others saw when they looked at me. You just gave that back to me.” With a sigh he pulled away, a grin on his face as he looked at the drawing, “I’m so beautiful, you must be horribly in love with me.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes, “Oh, totally. Simply irresistible.”

“Exactly what I thought,” he chuckled, “Oh, and darling, if this is your way of flirting with me, I’d be lying if I said it isn’t working.”

I could feel the flush return to my cheeks, I was sure he saw it, too. “Of course it does, I’m a treat. Prettier than you, even,” I retorted. His hand flew to his heart, “How you hurt me,” he said, “Now, if you will; you could use your rest, and I was getting to quite a cliffhanger before you decided to interrupt me,” he glanced at me, “Though for good reason.”

I smiled and was about to get up, before I felt a surge of confidence. I sat on my knees. One of my hands came under his chin, my fingers tilting it up as I leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight, Astarion,” I whispered, before rising to my feet and walking to my bedroll. As I got comfortable in my sleeping bag, I saw Astarion caressing the drawing from the corner of my eye.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Emily and Wendell Have No Chill...On Opposite Ends of the Chill Spectrum

Ok, the more you put faerie and academia up next to each other, the more I see similarities between the two that both the academics and the fae would probably be extremely pissy about, from the strict hierarchical structures to the arbitrary rules and the extreme danger of falling in love with them. And yet I'm also EXTREMELY here for it. So let's talk Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands.

THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW THE BREAK. BE WARNED.

Emily and Wendell are on the same page about when it is appropriate to go absolutely feral, but they would NOT agree with that. Emily can shake off the otherlands, random faerie assassins, and absolutely godawful living conditions during fieldwork but cannot handle other humans. Wendell can shake off *actively dying from faerie poison* and entirely too credible accusations of academic misconduct, but literally cannot handle a lack of coffee.

So naturally Wendell is panicking every time Emily gets too near the otherlands without him and Emily is absolutely losing it every time Wendell ignores common sense and uses his magic which exacerbates the effects of the poison. Literally these two are falling over each other to try to protect each other. It's wonderful--I wouldn't change a thing.

I also want to just double down on academics being JUST as terrifying as fae, because in the first book Emily didn't HESITATE before chopping a finger off to break an enchantment and in this one she didn't think twice before dropping the same poison that is killing Wendell into his stepmother's cup. This woman is absolutely terrifying in her determination and her ability to do the thing she has decided is absolutely necessary. Like, Emily Wilde is a terrifying force of nature and a damn fine scholar and the level of personal and professional jealousy I feel over this fictional character knows no bounds.

So beyond Emily and Wendell being just AGGRESSIVELY in love with each other in the most academic way possible, this book is fun because we get some resolution to the mystery of Danielle De Gray's disappearance, which was heavily referenced in the footnotes of the last book, and is one of the great dryadologist mysteries. I absolutely adore the fact that Emily is so determined to find out what actually happened to this academic in whom she sees herself. It makes her success so much greater and it makes the "don't meet your heroes" disappointment so much funnier when the real Dani catastrophically crashes into the De Gray that Emily had constructed in her head. It's funny and heartbreaking and honestly the fact that Dani then sort of...adopts Emily as a researcher in her own vein is awesome. Academic respect and mentorship is...a weirdass combination of doing it yourself with imagined mentor figures and deeply flawed people who just wanted to learn everything about something niche and specific and are really cranky about being saddled with students.

Which brings me nicely to Farris Rose. Rose is...a stodgy old white man academic in every sense, and he starts by threatening to have both Emily and Wendell fired for academic misconduct and fabricating research. He ends up with one ear on backwards and offering to mentor Emily in her academic career. He is also like...the absolute chaotic evil scholar, because he is VERY cool about ethical lapses if they get him on the expedition of the century. And he is also VERY comfortable lecturing Emily on her personal life. Even after she is pretty clear that his commentary is not terribly welcome.

The number of academic friendships that begin in open conflict is astounding, and honestly the "bitter enemy on the basis of their scholarship to grudging allies to actual friends" pipeline is VERY fun to watch. It's a special hell to live, but watching it is delightful.

Emily also grudgingly gets a student in this book! And after all the crap she gave Wendell about how he treats his grad students in the last book, she could possibly have been less brusque and less ornery with her dang niece!!! Ariadne is literally a ray of sunshine though, and she and Wendell get along like a house on fire to the point where he makes her a scarf for protection in the field. She and Emily uh...have a bit of a journey in terms of getting on, because Emily prefers to be on her own, and she like...intellectually loves her niece, but it takes some time for her to respect Ariadne as a baby researcher who is enthusiastic and learning. Their journey to understanding each other is really sweet, and I enjoyed it. I also love that Uncle Wendell was Uncle Wendell for Ariadne long before Aunt Emily actually accepted his proposal. That was just adorable.

I also really appreciate the cliffhanger that this book left us on. Emily and Wendell are going back to the Silva Lupi, but they literally do not know what they'll find. The assumption is that Wendell's stepmother is dead, but like...we don't KNOW that, and I wouldn't be surprised if she found some crafty and utterly hellscape-y way to avoid a terrible death by faerie poison. Especially since Wendell himself has hammered home the "there are no absolutes in faerie stories" message. So I might actually die waiting for book 3, but when it comes out, I will 1000% be there to read it.

[whywoulditho]

hq movie review!!!

(not spoiler-free)

went to see the haikyuu movie: dumpster battle today and i wanted to share my thoughts!!

first of all the movie had better animation than season 4 of the series! even though it stuck with the same animation style and character designs this was a much more neatly done project for sure. it felt like they had finally adapted into the style and managed to bring out the best version of it. in that sense i feel like season four was their experimental phase, if that makes sense? the movie's animation was so much smoother than i expected. i still prefer the first three seasons' style, but this wasn't bad at all in my book.

they used the same OSTs from the series as far as i've noticed, and they did make the match dramatic enough in most parts, (-we'll get to those other parts) and the voice cast did a good job as always.

they cut the arc a little shorter, trying to fit it into a 1h 30m runtime. it's a three set match so it was bound to be shorter than the five set matches like the shiratorizawa and the inarizaki matches, but it still deserved a good two hours in my opinion. you might think, well obviously they weren't going to animate every single point but honestly? furudate drew almost every single point and people READ that, on paper. we would have eaten up a two hour long movie. but well, since it's all done let's talk about what we had, and what we didn't.

the movie opened with a redrawn version of the season one scene where hinata meets kenma for the first time. it was a nice, nostalgic touch. they kept focusing on the random crow and cat they added to the background of the scene for peak symbolism and frankly i kinda loved that. i don't care that it's overdone it's still good okay? 😤

oh and even though they reanimated that first scene, there were still many instances in the movie where they cut to flashbacks from earlier seasons taken straight from the original version with the older animation style.

the first half of the movie was weaker than the second. they skipped a bunch of points and tried to only show the important lines but without the leading rallies the lines just looked kinda goofy and out of place. this one for example,

when they threw in this line i was kinda thrown off?? because like, the build up just wasn't there? does that make sense? this whole bit about yamaguchi finally catching up to tsukishima and then actually surpassing him was very well done in the manga. and it was a huge thing too, the two of them were the first page art of that volume, but the movie tried to get it over with in like, thirty seconds, i'm not even joking.

this part:

was made into a weird little slideshow type of thing that transitioned into their high five and it looked so goofy to me... i'm sorry. i just wanted them to have this moment so badly. and they did, kind of, but it wasn't all that satisfying.

also, they didn’t give us tsukkiyama having a telepathical conversation, HOW DARE YOU.

tendou and tsutomu watching the match on tsutomu's ipad was also in the movie! i was really happy to see that because that's one of my favorite things from this arc lol. though they didn’t give much of tsutomu's frustration with tendou.

the first half was pretty bland, accurate to the manga but with most inner monologue cut and some parts skipped.

through the middle they gave us the kuroken childhood flashbacks, it was cut shorter than it was in the manga. and get this, i feel like the way they delivered their childhood memories were like they wanted to make them more about kuroo's love for volleyball than exploring kuroken's bond with each other. i feel like the movie tried too hard at focusing on one thing at a time, they cut the tsukkiyama scene short because during that bit they were focusing on kenma. they cut the kuroken memories short because they were trying to focus only on kuroo.

this kept going, honestly. even though this match was ALL about parallels and the bonds these characters have with each other, friendships and rivalries. in the manga, furudate made this match about exploring ALL the dynamics he'd been building up since the beginning. it was more random, yes, but that's what made it natural. kenma and hinata's rivalry/friendship, kenma and kageyama's rivalry, yaku and nishinoya's rivalry, kuroo and daichi's rivalry, tsukishima and kuroo's mentor-student relationship, nishinoya and asahi's trust bond, whatever the fuck yamaguchi and tsukishima had going on. the man took the time to give us crumbs of all these dynamics in the middle while a volleyball game was kind of just playing in the background. i know that sounds like i'm saying playing volleyball wasn't the main point, that's because that is what i'm saying. inarizaki v karasuno was about volleyball. shiratorizawa v karasuno was about volleyball. nekoma v karasuno wasn't. it was about two teams. because furudate made sure that we know every single player in each team, through and through.

this match wasn't just a simple match, it's something that they never shut up about since season one. this match was the end goal of all the relationships and parallels and dynamics they have been building for these characters, and the movie did a half-assed job delivering their fated battle.

it's like they looked at the arc and thought, "this is about hinata defeating kenma. let's focus on that and mention everything else briefly." so it was a whole mess of characters throwing these one liners back and forth and you just sitting there trying to catch up. look, maybe i'm blinded by nostalgia. but i don't remember feeling this way while reading the manga.

(edit: totally forgot to mention this but THEY CUT OFF THE COACHES' BACKSTORY !!! no young nekomata :((( )

okay, moving on, they did give us the birdcage scene:

and better than the manga, if i'm being honest. like i know it's a bad picture but LOOK at that composition. i love it so much.

they also included the one where kenma and shoyo shoved knives up each other's throats (they're such good friends fr 🤧)

they did this scene:

so well i was about to cry. shoyo literally screamed it was kinda overdone but i'll take it. kuroo's laugh was beautiful.

there was also this other scene where kenma is exhausted from running and is just desperately trying to keep playing and they did this amazing 360 degree perspective shot from his pov and IT WAS SO GOODDD. the heavy breathing kept getting louder and intenser and you could literally FEEL his breath and the voice acting in that scene was top notch i had fucking goosebumps. there was this bit where he faced the ground and his sweat was dripping down on the floor and YOU COULD SEE HIS REFLECTION ON THE WATER DROPS?? LIKE???? i'm still shocked this studio pulled that off you guys it was awesome.

and at the end of the match, they took this scene,

and made it 10 TIMES BETTER?? AS IF THAT'S POSSIBLE???

in the movie my boy kenma was fucking FLOORED. he was lying on the ground all sweaty and limbless and he had this beautiful smile on his face as he looked up at kuroo and said this line. I LOVED THAT SO, SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WARM IT MADE MY HEART. THANK YOU WHOEVER LOOKED AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PANEL AND THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN MAKE THIS EVEN GAYER"

oh, and they also included this for some reason lol:

okay, so, the movie wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.

i was really surprised by the quality of animation. they definitely solved the problem they had in season four where even the smallest movement always looked stiff. i don't think they paid enough mind to what the arc was actually about, to be honest. they tried to make this into just another one of their matches. well, maybe it was and i'm just reading too much into the character dynamics, who knows..

oh, and the bitter sweet news is that in after credits they teased the kamomedai match. since we're getting only one last movie for the finale it was a given that either the kamomedai match or the time skip were going to be cut short or cut off entirely. well, it doesn’t seem to be the kamomedai match... so. yeah. i guess we're kissing our beloved brazil and V league and olympic arcs goodbye. there was no way they did all of them justice anyway.

while the time skip is a high sacrifice i have to say i'll still be pretty happy if they make the kamomedai game full-length. that's my favorite match in the whole series and it definitely deserves more love. i doubt it will receive any if it comes in the expense of the time skip though...

so have you seen the movie? let's chat on the comments!!!

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

"In the night, I am real..." // [Part I]

Pairing | Alpha x reader

Word count | 1825

Warnings | Ghouls sent back to the Pit, ritual gone wrong, rite here rite now spoilers, canon divergence, f!reader - no y/n

Chapter Summary: You decide to see if the "silly book" you found is more than it seems. Heartbroken, you follow the ancient book's instructions to perform a ritual, hoping to bring Alpha back on your own. However things don't quite go according to plan.

A/N: The biggest S/O to @sister-nyx for giving me the confidence to post this, for proofreading and for all your help along the way 🖤 This is my very first Ghost/ghoul fic! I'm new to writing, but I had this idea and had to roll with it. One chapter will be released every day at 10am EST.

I hope you enjoy!!

[Next]

To any other member of the Ministry, today was just a normal Tuesday. Nothing grand or exciting was happening. No special visitors, no spontaneous events. Even the members of the band got the day off from practice on Tuesdays. Copia had a well known dislike for this particular day of the week, ‘Why can’t every day be Friday? I like Friday’s much better, don’t you?’ he always said. 

It was just quiet. Simply, quiet. The midday sun was peeking through the break in the clouds that donned the blue, late summer sky. The rays shining down on the Ministry, engulfing the structure and its grounds like a warm hug. The sisters were excitedly finishing up with their daily chores before making their way outside to enjoy the shortened workday, and the nice summer breeze. Even some of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes left the den to partake in their shenanigans outside instead. The Sisters were so delighted when Copia introduced this new schedule. While it may seem a bit unconventional, this was anything but a conventional convent.

For one Sibling however, it was just a normal Tuesday. You quietly finished up your chores in the library, returning borrowed books of all sorts back to their correct shelves. Making your way through the towering bookcases as you expertly place books titled, ‘How to Care for Worms’ and ‘Maintaining Nutrient Rich Soils’ back into their rightful place as part of the gardening section. Normally the Sisters in the gardening club take care of the grounds. However these books in particular, you knew, had a different audience. 

“Swiss must’ve finally asked Mountain if he would still love him as a worm. Oh Swiss, you’re in great hands. Don’t you worry,” softly chuckling to yourself.

You made your way around the large library. Putting away books about the ‘Pop Music Explosion of the 2000s’ (that was probably Copia), ‘Majestic Rivers of the World’ (you wondered if Rain is feeling okay with all this sunny weather), and ‘Silly Sentences: Handwriting Workbook’ (now you knew where Phantom came up with all those random words).

You paused once you reached the last book in the pile. This book was a very strange one indeed. 

You didn’t seem to remember ever seeing this one before. It was quite large and heavy. The cover was expertly bound in black leather, adorned with once bright gold symbols. You estimated it to have been at least 100 years old. There was a large latch on the side with a hole, showcasing where a lock would have been. 

“What harm ever came from reading a book?” 

Ultimately curious, you flipped back the latch and opened it. You didn’t know what you were expecting, a large spooky gust of wind perhaps? Unfortunately nothing of the sort happened. As you flipped back the front cover, the pages inside looked like metal the way they reflected the sunlight that shone through the large stained glass windows. It was almost like they were coated in gold. Yet they were quite worn and tarnished on the edges, proudly showcasing where the previous owners had often flipped through its pages. In their prime, you thought, this would have been beautiful.

The ancient Latin that covered the glistening pages was not printed like most books of the modern age, but written by hand. There must have been over 1000 pages, all meticulously created by some unknown author. As you flipped through, you found every single page covered in a seemingly everlasting black ink that had not begun to fade in the slightest. 

Let it be said that you were not overly fond of your Ancient Latin classes. Often opting to ignore the day's teachings, doodling in your workbook instead. You grabbed the strange book from the cart and sat along the back wall of the empty library, slowly deciphering what the author wanted to so desperately preserve.

After about 3.5 hours of (quite roughly) translating a whopping 4 pages of text, you concluded that this book was at its core, about death. More accurately, it spoke about the process of bringing people back.

That night as you laid in bed, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you read in that strange book. You wondered if it was something that Swiss ordered. Using the incantations to scare Phantom by pretending to summon the Hat Man. Or if the tellings in it really were true. Was it actually possible to bring people back from the dead?

For many years now, you have been a bit lost. You put on a strong front for the Clergy and forced convincing smiles, but anyone who knew you, knew you just weren't the same as when you first arrived at the Ministry. 

You used to jump at the chance to help Alpha and Omega with cleaning up the practice room after rehearsal. Or running to get guitar strings when they broke. You would help Zephyr with his back pain, and even sometimes help Earth practice his eye makeup. When Terzo took over shortly after you got settled, he helped you cope and understand your parental trauma. He became like a father to you. No one knew what was coming though. No one except for Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator. 

It was a shock for everyone when they all disappeared. But for you, it was like your entire world collapsed. The Ghouls that helped you have fun, the Papa that proved to you that you wouldn’t have to be scared anymore - all gone. It was devastating.

It took about 3 months before you would allow anyone to speak with you outside of the Siblings you worked with. Copia was always so nice, you felt guilty for purposely avoiding him. The two of you had some pretty good times during his previous role as a Cardinal. You just couldn’t stand to call anyone else Papa, that was reserved for Terzo.

When the new band first started rehearsing in the practice room, you happened to be walking by. Hearing the iconic riffs and melodies, you excitedly skipped towards the door, looking through the window. Only to find absolutely no one you recognized. All these Ghouls were new.

You didn’t know whether to be sad or angry. This was Terzo’s space. This was Alpha and Omega’s space. What you didn’t notice, as you walked away in tears, was that there were still a few of your Ghouls left. Aether and Dewdrop were still here. While you never really hung out with Dewdrop all that much, you ran into Aether in the infirmary a couple weeks later, and everything just boiled to the surface.

“Hi.” Aether said softly, with a sympathetic smile. “Copia noticed you weren’t doing so great, so he asked me to check in on you. He thought a familiar face might be easier.”

All you could do was just stand there and stare at the Ghoul, expressionless and in silence.

“I’m really sorr–”

“Why are you here?” You spoke in an audible whisper.

Aether blinked and stood there, stunned. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you here?” You spoke, with a bit more conviction.

I don’t think either of you expected such hostility. Aether thought it would be best if he talked to you instead of one of the new Ghouls. It was actually his idea. He knew you were hurting, and you had been hurting for a long time. He just wanted to help - but what did he miss?

Aether started second guessing whether getting Rain or Mountain to chat with you would’ve actually been a better course of action. He gazed down at you, at his friend who looked at him like he was the sole reason a part of you died that day.

You were shocked at yourself. Shocked at the pure anger you were expressing towards him. You didn’t really understand where it was coming from, but it was taking over every logical thought you had in that moment. Apart from just now, you thought Aether had been sent back to the pit with everyone else. You thought that you lost him too, but here he is. Standing in front of you after all this time.

“I don’t understand,” Aether pleaded softly.

“Why are you here?” 

And then the floodgates opened.

“I mean, why is it you that’s still here? What made you sooo special that Copia decided to keep you? I thought you were DEAD, Aether. I thought I had no one left. That Sister and Nihil wiped the slate clean for her new prize pony, Copia, and his new Ghoul entourage. I’ve been suffering by myself for months!”

The tears started to well up in your eyes as you composed yourself and continued. 

“I actually walked by the practice room the other day. I heard the songs they used to play and I thought, ‘they’re back!’. But when I looked through that window, all I saw was a bunch of Ghouls pretending to be you. Pretending to be him.”

Aether knew you had a close connection with Terzo, and seeing Copia in his place must have been really hard for you. When he first stepped in to replace Omega, he could feel how sad you were about the change. But it was different then.

When Aether and Ifrit stepped in, it wasn’t like Alpha and Omega just vanished. They were still around to help the new Ghouls learn the songs, and give tips on stage presence (although Ifrit quickly navigated that aspect of the job). The two Ghouls were just taking a break from touring for a little while. It was physically and mentally demanding, and they weren’t the youngest kits on the block by any means.

However Aether knew that Terzo wasn’t who you were referring to.

“I’m sorry.” He finally spoke. “I really am. I’m sorry that it’s me and not Alpha who got to stay.”

The Ghoul knew better than to say any more after that. He was often at the receiving end of your late night chats. You would come by to tell him about how you thought Alpha was ignoring you because he hated you. When in reality, the poor fire Ghoul was just scared of this new emotion he was experiencing called ‘caring’.

A mention of his name was all it took before you sank to your knees and wept, while Aether just stood there and watched. Not out of indifference, but out of sympathy. He knew you had bottled this up for so long, pretended like everything was fine. He was simply allowing you to release the pressure that was eating at you from the inside out.

Aether slowly walked the few steps over to where you knelt on the ground. Sitting beside you, he ran a cautious hand down your back.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled. “Aether, I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m still going to be here for you, even if you hate me.”

[Next]

[magnorious]

A Lightning Thief Retrospective, 16 Years Later

Good grief, I am old. *Spoilers ahead*

In the spirit of the resurgence of appreciation for this series, I’m doing a retrospective on the books that single-handedly got me to love reading. No matter how old I get, Percy and co will always hold a special place on my bookshelf and in my soul. 16 years later and I have my own books to show for it.

*Disclaimer, I have read the books multiple times in the interim, but I first got my hands on it, and first fell in love with it, in 2008.

So: The Lightning Thief

The Greek-verse isn’t Riordan’s only series to open with a fourth-wall-breaking element, nor is it the only series to open with a “if you’re reading this, be warned” narrative (Maximum Ride comes to mind) but, at least in the paperback edition circa 2006, the last lines on the first page read:

Am I a troubled kid?Yeah, you could say that.

And I just… it’s so Percy. It’s perfect. You have no idea what it really means on your first read through but sixteen years later after growing up with these books, that line just makes me grin like the little kid that’s still inside.

As I kept reading, I tried my best to remove my “victim of the hellish IB Program, literary analyst” hat. This book spoon feeds you exposition in a really palatable way. We’ve seen the museum scene adapted twice now and while older me thinks that’s really convenient timing, it does a lot of legwork while also being short enough to keep the attention of its intended audience. It is also very, very good at foreshadowing, and setting up major payoffs, for events later in this book and beyond.

“Mr. Brunner” looking at the stele of the unnamed hero like he’d been to her funeral

Luke’s scar in the firelight making him look evil

Percy’s affinity for water and the sea, peeking into Cabin 3 before it’s his

The Fates’ electric-blue (remind you of anyone’s eyes?) string

“Someone summoned it,” Chiron said. “Someone inside the camp.”Luke came over….

Ares’ curse on Percy

Speaking of foreshadowing – prophecies. Since all five books have them, I’m dedicating a section in each review to each one.

You shall go west, and face the god who has turned.You shall find what was stolen, and see it safely returned.You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend.And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.

The whole point of these things is to drive you crazy trying to figure out what they mean before they play out, making you rotten suspicious and paranoid. The book does go line by line in the end and explains how each element was resolved. It’s both very deceptive, on purpose, but easy to grasp for younger readers. I think the prophecies in Titans Curse and Battle of the Labyrinth are superior, but it does its job well.

—

The whole book, likely intentionally so, with an ADHD protagonist, isn’t filled with fluffy narrative. There’s a ton of one-sentence paragraphs and Percy’s personality always shines through, even from page one, a la Holden Caulfield. Even when it’s an exposition-heavy scene, or just traveling while on their quest, nothing ever *lingers*.

Percy is direct in his observations and his narration jumps about from thinking about some random comment another character made that’s poignant in the moment to funny descriptions of the mythic world, to pitching his two-cents on the matter, expressing his annoyances with Annabeth, etc, all in a snappy and easy to keep up with manner. He doesn’t wax poetic, that’s not who he is and that’s not the story this book is telling.

For anyone intimidated by chapter books (re: me at that age) this book is endlessly approachable. He doesn’t have *too much* personality to be distracting, but he has enough to be more than a reader-insert everyman.

I don’t necessarily believe he’s twelve, but he does have that childish immaturity with his narrating and I forget if it ages with him. Since I brought up Maximum Ride earlier, she’s a child protagonist who does not read like a 14 year old girl, she reads like a quirky caricature written by a middle-aged dude.

**Side note, upon my re-read, it came to my attention that the Disney show inexplicably skipped the cutting of the thread with the Fates scene that is like, foreshadowing for the entire series**

*Side side note, Percy isn’t the one who came up with Wise Girl, it was Clarisse. Chapter 6**

I also forgot just how big a temper Percy has. He contemplates kicking Smelly Gabe in the balls for being mean to Sally, with zero care for the consequences. Not to mention the whole “Gabe would love to give away free appliances” schtick. He’s such a little sh*t and we love him.

For a book that’s largely action adventure, it balances the slower moments with the fight scenes smoother than butter. Percy’s demigod-ness gives him quite a bit of plot armor and excuse to survive these fights as a mostly-untrained twelve-year old without making him unrealistically over-competent.

The world building, at least in my opinion, feels like it looked at Harry Potter and went “I can fix that”. There’s not one cabin of demigods rudely and unfairly and problematically labeled Wizard Nazis, (except Grover insinuating that Hades’ kids were actual Nazis in WWII…. Hmm). The Mist exists to hand-wave away everything mortals aren’t supposed to see. It gets really creative with modernizing these myths and making them more child-friendly, and does a good job at urbanizing it, for lack of a better term. The concept of mapping Ancient Greece onto the US is neat, for American readers, and the explanation of “traveling Western Civilization” makes sense. The Underworld having traffic and toll booths was funny.

It treads the razor-thin line of “paganism is real” as well as it can, I think. It focuses less on “creation of the universe was definitely this” and more “the forces of nature have names and faces,” and sidesteps the giant sinkhole of Christianity and Christian readers with “we shan’t deal with the metaphysical,” and says nothing more about it, or demigods who grew up religious, or the other pantheons (yet). Beyond a throwaway dead preacher who Grover argues likely sees the underworld through his Christian kaleidoscope.

The series also doesn’t suffer egregious plot holes, only some continuity errors (like Blackjack). One that comes to mind in TLT is that if Camp contacted Sally about watching over Percy, Sally knew his dad was Poseideon. So how did the whole “I want to watch over your son cause he’s interesting, hm, can’t put my finger on why. Say, who’s his dad?” never lead anywhere? But it doesn’t break the immersion, certainly not for young readers.

It’s interesting how, looking back after knowing the entire story, how the seeds of doubt are right there, in your face, from the moment Percy learns the gods are real. It’s almost a meta self-fulfilling prophecy how things go so wrong for these characters, it’s so obvious.

SInce it is an adventure, the places they go are all wildly and entertainingly different. The garden gnome emporium, St. Louis Arch, Waterland, the Lotus casino, Crusty’s waterbed store. Each provides their own challenges and take full advantage of “mythology is real”.

Let’s talk about the villains, and how Hades was not done dirty this time. I’m going to presume that it’s bias on part of the characters for the whole “Hades’ kids were Nazis” and it’s absolutely on Chiron for insisting that Hades is the culprit when he sends Percy on his quest. Nowadays, especially with the staggering popularity of Nico, Hades has been pretty well redeemed in the eyes of a casual reader. But I think, at the time it was written, making Hades not the villain here was fantastic. He’s still a god, still a jerk, still dangerous, but he’s not the Devil. He drew the short straw and is an introvert written by salty extroverts.

Luke, for a twist villain (read my post here for a deeper analysis) and Ares as a tool of Kronos worked really well. If anyone got the Slytherin treatment, I guess it would have been the Ares cabin, but… he’s a jerk. His kids got his temperament, thus they are jerks. But even then – Ares was just a tool, a crude hammer swung alarmingly well.

Setting up your series-defining villain as a disembodied voice pulling strings is nothing new, but it comes with the benefit of two thousand years of real-world mythology backing up this entity’s power. Kronos is basically a non-entity in this book, but what he does is effective, and kudos for making readers’ skin crawl with the near-tragedy at the edge of Tartarus (foreshadowing!!!!!).

Something else the book does well is having a very well-written and uniquely motivated reluctant chosen one. Yeah, we’d all rather be demigods than Tributes, but being a demigod has drawbacks that being a wizard doesn’t. They don’t shy away from the risk of kids getting skewered and mauled, even if you don’t actually see it happening. This is dangerous work.

And, Percy calls it out – he exists to be used. That’s all demigods are worth to the Olympians. So, he’s going to use this quest to rescue his mom. He doesn’t give a damn about his dad, he doesn’t care about the looming civil war, doesn’t think it’s even the right thing to do, except to prevent the nuclear fallout that said war would cause.

He’s not one of those whiny “I just want to be normal” protagonists like no child in the history of ever has dreamed of if they were in their hero’s shoes. He’s also not pumped and jazzed and excited about being a demigod. They’re the victims of abusive and absent parents and, for a kids series, I still think such a sobering subject was handled really, really well.

You want to be a hero like Percy. You’re rooting for him from the first page. Discovering all his new powers is fun, daydreaming getting claimed right along with him. It isn’t dated with pop culture references and most of the humor lands (a novel experience that does not last forever, unfortunately). He’s sassy and sarcastic and his in-character ignorance and naivety opens the door for plenty of smooth exposition and letting the reader discover the world through his eyes, without feeling lifeless.

Speaking of personality, his rapport with Annabeth grows pretty decently over the course of the book, from being super catty to getting embarrassed on the tunnel of love ride, as if anyone would really care. They have their spats, but the budding friendship is realistic and she doesn’t feel at all like the girl hastily written in because the author forgot to include one.

She has her faults, but that’s the point. She’s also a victim of godly propaganda, and twelve, and literally burdened with hubris. All three of them bounce off each other well, each bringing different strengths and weaknesses to the trio, building each other up and bickering to tear each other down because, you know – twelve.

—

I read somewhere that the first five books all pay homage to some of the most famous Greek myths. Lightning Thief’s myth is that of the original Perseus with these familiar beats shared by both:

Murdering Medusa via reflective surface

Wrongfully convicted of a crime he didn’t commit and punished by Zeus

Hermes’ winged shoes

Hades’ missing war helm

Obtaining a cool new sword

Rescuing his mom from the Bad Guy

Not dying tragically

Princess Andromeda (the more famous Perseus myth adapted by Wrath and Clash of the Titans) does make an appearance in Sea of Monsters.

The joke people used to make about the fans of the series is that reading PJO does not make a mythology expert, but that isn’t the point. The books opened the door to further research at your own pace and maybe fostered love of a subject and culture you’d go on to study later in life.

This review is about the book, not the show, but it is a disservice to the book to cram nearly ten entire chapters of content, out of twenty-two (156 pages in the ‘06 paperback) into two episodes both less than an hour long. No wonder the premier felt, night and day, far inferior to episode 3. Episode 3 wasn’t sprinting the entire time.

Overall, the missing-persons-turned-possible-child-terrorist subplot stayed its welcome exactly as long as it needed to and every time I think about this book I forget it’s even part of the story. The payoff is really at the end with the free appliances and, of course, Gabe’s just desserts.

The book is absolutely, transparently, the first leg of a relay race, not one of those “I wrote this and it was successful now I have to come up with a sequel” stories and all the seeds of development for the series at large were expertly scattered.

The worst I have to say about the book is this: The constant “Thalia, daughter of Zeus.” There’s at least seven of them across the book and the whole title almost every time she’s mentioned reads a bit strange.

It’s paced excellently, with a few slow beats for good character development in between locations. The foundations of our heroes are solid, all the twists and turns with the true villains and the real meaning of the prophecy was well done. For the book that began a multi-series world of interconnected pantheons with new publications still coming out today, it’s humble and smart and, for a “children's” book, anyone can enjoy it, no nostalgia required.

[purpie-goddess]

On The Crow Road by Ian Banks in Good omens.

Sharp-eyed watchers may have noticed this book's appearance in the opening credits, on the back of a chair beside Terry Pratchett, or that Gabriel reads the first line in the bookshop "It was the day my grandmother exploded". Most watchers will have noticed the emphasis the camera puts on the book Muriel reads, which they hold at an odd angle, reminiscent of The Truman Show's hidden advertisements. Having noticed this in the intro, I had to look more into this book.

The Crow Road follows a man called Prentice at the age of 22, but also as a child. It's a slice-of-life book with romantic subplots and a strong nihilist theme as Prentice wrestles with religion. The book is non-linear and non-chronological, jumping from present to past at will. The cast doesn't change either, and the only clue the audience is given to understand if a chapter is past or present is tenses- present Prentice is first person, while child Prentice is third person.

The memories are seemingly random and although they sometimes have links to present Prentice, the only real connection is Prentice himself.

The other important thing to mention here is that when everything shifts at page 300, so does the genre. It's no longer a cutesy slice-of-life book, it's a murder mystery.

And religion is very important to this story. Prentice's desire to believe in afterlife is staunchly rebutted by his father's atheism. It all seems very pointless and random. His father (spoiler) does actually die during the book, leading Prentice to wonder if his father went to heaven, or as an atheist, was condemned. "The Crow Road" is his grandmother's name for someone who's died- they've gone to the crow road.

That is, until page 300, when the story actually starts, and you realise all this has been a set up. The payoff in this book is late.

Now comes the murder mystery. In reading this I wondered if this is a setup/payoff format for Gabriel in Good Omens- as Prentice looks into the disappearance of his uncle Rory many years ago and finds out (spoiler!) he was murdered. The book ends with Prentice understanding what love really means (his soulmate has been right in front of him all along!) and coming to terms with religion and loss.

There are a few things I can see very obviously linked to season 2.

the non-linear storytelling. The minisodes are inserted seemingly at random and sometimes barely have any reason to be there. The book of Job, for example, was offhandedly mentioned by Gabriel at one point in the episode. Why show us forty minutes of it if all we need to know was that they met Job once?

Religion and nihilism- obviously. Aziraphale grapples with his understanding of good/bad through a religious lens, while Crowley has disregarded it all.

the romantic subplot and slice-of-life genre- season 2, for the most part, feels a lot more romantic than season 1, and most scenes with our favourite angel and demon do feel very slice-of-life.

first person/third person. Aziraphale narrates the minisodes via a journal he keeps. In the present, however, we aren't guided by a narrator at all, implying it to be third person omnipotent.

But why is it so important to the story?

I can't say for sure. Maybe Neil Gaiman was trying to emphasise the three things I've already pointed out. I believe it more likely, however, that good omens hasn't reached page 300 yet. Having read "The Magic Trick You Didn't See" essay just last night, the Crow Road seems to back up this theory perfectly. I'll link it in case you don't know what I'm referring to.

I wish I could come up with a perfect theory based on what i've found, but right now I'm at a loss. I'm sure you can do more with this than I can :)

[carnationcreation]

Part of me (Xavier Thorpe x reader)

||Masterlist|| Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

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Pairing: (Xavier Thorpe x reader)

Prompt/summary: Xavier shows up a bloody mess (literally) after hurting you

Warnings: pining, hurtful comments (hurt/comfort), mentions of blood (paint/pigs blood), spoilers for Wednesday but if you haven’t finished it what are you doing here?

There were some days I couldn’t stand Xavier Thorpe, and unfortunately ever since Wednesday Addams arrived at the school those days became more frequent.

Being friends with the tortured artist wasn’t exactly my choice. When I arrived at Nevermore he seemed to pick me out from the crowd and deemed me to be the introvert to his extrovert, the sidekick to his main character life.

Sitting at lunch alone wasn’t fun for most, but for me, it was my favorite part of the day. Being able to sit and read while eating was a bit of peace during a hectic day full of classes. Nose-deep in my latest obsession made me pretty ignorant of what was going on around me. Honestly, I’d rather be ignorant than aware of their stares and comments about the newest freak at Nevermore.

A book slammed down on the table, knocking me out of my trance.

The boy sat down, opened up the sketchbook, and began to draw.

I glanced up at him, then down at my book, then glared back up at him, “Do you mind?

The boy looked up with strands of blond hair falling in front of his eyes, “Nope, not at all.” 

He turned his attention back to his sketch and I tried to turn mine back to my book. “You know, most people spend their first day at a new school trying to make friends, not hiding behind a book in the center of the cafeteria,” he said, trapping the edge of my book with his pencil.

I only shrugged, trying my hardest to focus on the words in front of me.

“Guess you’re not like other girls huh?”

“I’m like any other girl that doesn’t want to be bothered by a random guy asking stupid questions.”

He chuckled, “Well, I’m Xavier and I should probably welcome you to Nevermore if no one else has yet.”

“Thrilled to be here,” I said monotonously, flipping to the next page. 

“Have you ever tried archery?”

I sighed, placing my bookmark in the crease and closing the book. I wasn’t going to avoid any of his questions like this, so I might as well try and be friendly.

I didn’t mind, as it was quite nice being friends with someone as noticeable as Xavier since that meant the spotlight was never on me. 

He became more dramatic after he started dating Bianca, and that melodramatic attitude worsened after they broke up. It wasn’t until he came into my room crying over it that I realized my feelings for him, but it was never a good time to discuss it.

“What are you doing here Xavier?”

I didn’t expect to see him outside of my window at 2 AM on a Tuesday. I wanted to tell him to go away, but seeing the tears on his face made me hesitate.

“I broke up with her.”

I crossed my arms, “I’m sorry.”

“Can I come in?” he asked. I looked back at my unmade bed and messy desk. Why should I let him in? I hadn’t talked to him in over 2 weeks because Bianca said him and I were too close.

“Please,” he sniffled, “I’m sorry. I’ve been a shitty friend, I know. And I’ll make it up to you, I promise, I just need–”

He choked on a sob, but I knew what he was going to say. He needed somebody. 

I let him in, hoping that he truly meant he needed me. But part of me knew that he just needed somebody, I was just the easiest person for him.

I let him wallow in his sadness. Letting him paint for hours and rant to me while I listened. I was sad for him, as I knew he loved her.

That sadness turned into frustration. If I thought him ditching me for Bianca was bad, then him ditching me for Wednesday was worse. At least Bianca was his girlfriend and not just a random girl that wants nothing to do with him. He follows her around like a lovesick puppy.

On the first day Wednesday arrived, for example. I arrived at Botany class only to find my seat taken by the pigtailed goth. To be honest, I wanted to be mad at her, but after watching her smack the absolute shit out of Xavier's drawing of a spider I couldn’t help but laugh at his embarrassment trying to impress her. My fuming must have been evident as Ajax moved his bag from the normally empty seat next to him, I sat down next to him and let myself be distracted by my books. 

“Hey, (Y/n).”

I looked up. Ajax sent me a shy smile before sliding me a note.

Be my date to the Rave’n?

()Yes ()No

My breath caught in my throat. I knew the dance was coming up, but I honestly hadn’t given it much thought. I picked up my pencil from my bag. Did I really want to go with him?

I guess some part of me wanted to say yes, but another small part of me was secretly hoping maybe Xavier would ask.

Can I think about it?

I slid the note back to Ajax, and while his face showed disappointment he sent me another smile and a nod.

From over his shoulder, I could see Xavier staring at us, he shook his head before turning back to the front of the classroom. 

What in the world was that about?

Finally, lunch came around and I tried my best to distract myself with my novels. Unfortunately, my wishful thinking came to a close as I felt the familiar thump of Xavier's sketchbook hitting the table and his eyes staring into mine.

“What Xavier?”

Xavier looked at me confused, “We haven’t hung out in a while, what are you doing later?”

“I promised Enid I’d go dress shopping with her.”

“You don’t even have a date,” he mumbled, leaning down over his paper.

“Well, I can still go and have a good time, date or no date. Plenty of people go without one.”

Xavier scoffed, “Gonna be boring. I mean, Enid has a date, Wednesday has a date-”

“When did Wednesday get a date?” I furrowed my brow.

“Yeah, apparently she’s going with that normie Tyler.”

“Well,” I swallowed, “It’s good she’s putting herself out there.”

Xavier was silent for a bit, the only noise came from his pencil against the paper and me flipping to a new chapter.

“So, if you don’t have a date, maybe we could go together?”

I looked up at him confused and put my bookmark in between the pages of my book. 

“I mean I asked Wednesday, but she said no-”

“So I’m your last resort?” I didn’t want to believe it, but his comment about her having a date made me uneasy.

Xavier’s eyes widened, “What? No.”

“That seems to be the only reason you’re asking me right now.”

Xavier ran a hand over his face, “No, (Y/n) I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then tell me what you meant, because you’re making a point to remind me how I don’t have a date, are you expecting me to be grateful for your invitation?”

“No, I just thought it might be fun if we went together as friends-”

Friends.

I scoffed, shoving my book into my bag and grabbing my tray of food from the table, “I already have an offer, and besides I’d rather go alone than be your last resort date anyways.”

Xavier sat silently as I walked away. 

I tracked down Ajax in the hallway, handing him the note back with the “yes” box checked.

“Oh,” he said, reading over the note, “I’m so sorry (Y/n), but I asked Alexa and she said yes.”

I sighed before giving him a smile, “That’s alright, I hope you guys have a good time.”

So that’s how I ended up here, sitting in my room instead of going to the Rave’n. Honestly, this head cold couldn’t have come at a better time. I showed up to the dress shop with Enid sneezing my head off and by the next morning, I was running a fever. 

I let myself stay in bed all day while I pumped myself full of orange juice, saltine crackers, and cold medicine. 

Enid came to check on me and brought by some delicious soup for me to have that evening before she skipped off to go get ready for the dance. 

I went back and forth between napping and reading. Letting myself get lost in either the comfort of my dreams or the lives of the characters in the story. Around 10 PM a loud knock came from my door.

I didn’t want to get up, as my bed was quit cozy, however the longer I lay there the stronger the knock was.

“Coming,” I groaned as I unraveled myself from the sheets. A familiar sight met me, Xavier standing in front of my door, but this time covered in red.

I let out a scream. 

“Shhhh! No (Y/n)- it’s paint. It’s not blood-” he went to put his hand on my shoulder but pulled back.

“Wh- what are you doing here? You should be at the dance and why are you covered-”

“Can I please come in,” he said. 

The look on his face was meek, his eyes wouldn’t meet mine and it looked like he had been crying. I glanced down the hallway to see if any monitors were on patrol before pulling him into my room.

“Take those off. You can use my shower.”

“But I won’t have anything to wear-”

 I cut him off by pulling one of his old t-shirts from my hamper. He gave me a knowing look, “Stop. You asked me to get the paint stains out of it before you ghosted me for your ex, remember?”

His eyes drifted back to the floor, and for a second he looked ashamed.

“Just go get in the shower. Towels are in the cabinet under the sink.”

I dumped my laundry hamper out onto my bed, setting it back down beside the bathroom door. He stripped carefully so as to not shake any of the red liquid onto the floor and carefully tossed the clothes into the basket. The white suit would be a pain to wash really, but I shook that thought from my mind as I laid back down.

I must’ve dozed off but woke suddenly when I felt the bed dip.

“I don’t remember inviting you to lie down.”

“You didn’t.”

I scoffed, “You’re an ass you know that?” 

Xavier went to respond but was cut off as a sneeze shook my body, which in turn triggered a coughing fit that had me sitting up so I could breathe.

“Are you sick?”

I rolled my eyes as the coughs finally subsided, “No shit.”

“I’m- I’m so sorry. Here I am feeling sorry for myself-”

“You’re always feeling sorry for yourself,” I said, reaching for a tissue on my nightstand, “And here I am, still trying to take care of you first.”

Xavier sighed, “I know. You’re a good person. I’m sorry I don’t express how grateful I am that you put up with my shit.”

I shrugged.

“Don’t do that,” he sighed.

“What?”

“Don’t shut me out like that now,” he said, he scooted over to pull me into him, “Can it be my turn? To take care of you first?”

“I don’t know.”

“Please, I will I promise. I never repaid you for being here for me when me and Bianca ended things.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” I sniffled.

“Then let me do it now.”

I sighed, nodding into his shoulder as he tugged me closer to him again. 

Part of me knew this wouldn’t last long, as he’d be back at Wednesday’s heel by tomorrow, but part of me told the other to shut up and just enjoy the time I had with him now.

And another part of me hopes this lasts forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *If you signed up for my taglist but don’t see your name please message me!

Taglist:  @thebookwormlife​ @talksoprettyjjx​  @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse​  @lovesanimals​ @aunicornmademedoit​ @thexhotmess​ @ssprayberrythings​ @hemmingsness​  @bookfrog242​   @smol-book-nerd​ @thewifeofhades​ @igotissuesmister​ @carnations-red​ @yunho-leeknow​ @autumnpiper1​ @ynbutbetter​ @tragic-romantic​ @blairscott​ @henrycreelswhiteuniform​  @ilovexavierthrope​ 

[velvetthebun]

Okay, so 7 chapters into Battle Scars, having read the infamous devil's tango scene (and fucking happy it wasn't as explicit as I thought based on what I saw on the internet)... Well... First the non-spoilery things: I don't want to say that I dislike Sam Maggs' writing style... but the book feels like maybe a second draft. It could've used some heavy editing. It suffers from what a lot of lower quality fanfiction suffers from - constant repetition and the lack of ability to keep track of people's limbs. I'll go into more detail under the cut.

For the constant repetition – there are so many sentences that read extremely awkwardly. For fucks sake, use your pronouns and descriptors.

Okay okay, I'll give a quick real example cause I just opened it on a random page and this popped up:

Like sure when you're writing about two women using "her" isn't really making anything easier to read, but... hobby writers manage it well in fanfics, so...

And for the limbs part... the scene that struck me the most was when they were escaping the Brood base and Cal was steadying Merrin in the door as they were shakily flying off... first he puts one hand on her shoulder, then another around her waist to steady her. But...how is he steadying her when he's not holding onto anything? His first hand hasn't left her shoulder according to the narrator. Also I'm pretty sure he was standing next to her, not behind, which would make it even more awkward and uncomfortable and... limby.

Also on the topic of limbs, let's talk organs. Did Sam Maggs not research Zabrak biology or has she sold one of Merrin's hearts on the black market? Or is only one of her hearts beating while the other is on vacation?

But just so I'm not just saying what I dislike, there are some spoilers that I enjoy, so proceed if you don't mind those:

The way Cal and Merrin talk about each other???? Cal describing her hair, her skin, her tattoos, her lips? And Merrin being all poetic about how he's the light to her dark? Even with Fret around these two have it hard for each other in the book. And then there was Cal just at the end of Chapter 7 saying that a similar bond Merrin has with Fret has been there between her and Cal since they met? Even calling it chemistry? Just after talking to Cere about how he shouldn't make romantic attachments, but he loves his crew, so why should that be bad? ("It's not like I don't love you, Greez, or-or Merrin." The stutter is so sweet.)

It makes it easy for me to just ignore Fret's existence. Her "confidence" and the way she talks to Merrin just gives me too many uncomfortable flashbacks to when I was in my late teens/early twenties, wishing I didn't exist, being a victim of childhood trauma and unfortunately attaching to people who spoke like that (and were manipulative abusive cunts), cause I didn't believe I deserved better.

So I just skim that and go to the Merrical crumbs. And those are wonderful. Also soft Merrin wanting to hug BD and calling Cal sweet is *chefs kiss*.

Overall feelings so far? I've read fanfics that are stylistically better. If I want wlw representation I'll reach for anything else than Fret, thank you... But the story is intriguing enough to keep me reading.

[officialauthorofanotherworld]

super long and random excerpt time #1

I'm still editing my book, only on page 18 of 346 or so, and I was editing the scene that foreshadows this, and decided to revisit this to see it, and im just really proud of it and i really love it, and wanted to share it cuz i know theres a few people on my tumblr who wanted to see more of my writing. Here is one of the scenes i am most proud of :D

(spoilers, obv, for the end of the first half of the book. this takes place around page 130-136 i believe)

(btw i wasnt lying this is a pretty long excerpt xd)

The formatting is a little messed up but eh

lastly, idk if any of this will end up changed in final release, i went over this relatively recently so probably not drastically, but maybe a few wordings here and there. anyways thats all from me for now

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taka’s worst scenario had come true. The further they trekked through the cave, the more death and destruction they uncovered. Mangled and broken bodies of goblins, blood and the stench of death. Five dead adventurers, after the elf. The party sent in had been completely, utterly destroyed. Before long, they came across a large, open space. It was the largest room in the entire cave. It must have been at least two hundred feet long and seventy or eighty wide. The ceiling above them was about a hundred feet tall, and there were many large, jagged rocks jutting down at odd angles. If not for the wide, gaping hole in the side of the cave exposing it to the outside, it would have been almost completely dark.

It was because of this hole that Taka’s heart dropped into his stomach and his breath caught in his throat.

Before them, was an ogre.

Fifty or so feet, in the center of the room. It currently had not noticed them.

Taka could feel his hands trembling. If there was an ogre, shouldn’t there be more goblins, too?

He had nothing to base that off of, but.. where were the goblins? Why was an ogre here?

It wasn’t an ordinary sized ogre either. It was huge for an ogre, as if two or three had been stacked atop each other. It didn’t even make sense. How had it gotten into this room?! The only way Taka could think was if it had grown larger once inside, but…

Nobody spoke. Everyone was utterly taken aback.

It was odd. What had killed the adventurers then? Surely, if they had all fallen, there were more goblins. They hadn’t even died in this room, so where were the goblins that killed them? This ogre was far too big to chase them through corridors, and the cave was still structurally sound, and hadn’t collapsed. So that couldn’t have killed them. Obviously.

Suddenly, the ogre twitched, and stood up. Could it see them? The six took a cautious step back, and Beriyl tripped and fell onto his rear.

“Ah-!”

That did it. The ogre roared, and produced a large club made of bone. Almost as if on cue, goblins began to swarm from the ceiling, walls, everywhere. In that one moment, everything that was alive had pinpointed their location.

It made sense now. Taka understood now. This was how the others had died.

They had walked right into a trap. Had the ogre known they were here all along? Had the other adventurers did the same thing they did? Were they going to die? Taka did not want to die.

He did not want to die. He did not want to die. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t die.

His heart pounded so hard it hurt. He couldn’t breathe. The room around him began to close in.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He fell onto his knees clutching at his chest. The world spun. Through the chaos of his mind he could hear the others yelling. What were they yelling? He felt a hand on his back. Ecirr? No.. Qlul? A warmth spread through him. The pounding subsided. The world began to settle. The cave appeared normal, again. He could breathe.

He could hear.

“You’re going to be okay, Taka! We’ll get through this!”

Pulling Taka to his feet, was Qlul. He had cast something; his mace shone a brilliant white-gold.

“Everyone! Raise your weapons into the air for just a moment!” He cried. Everyone who had one, did. Taka’s daggers began to glow just like Qlul’s. In immediate succession, the party was aglow with a holy light. Arthur’s blade, Ecirr’s spears, and Beriyl’s shortsword all glowed with that same light.

Taka looked up at the ceiling, and almost immediately fell back into a panic. The ceiling, the walls, were crawling with goblins. Literally teeming. Out of every hole in every wall, every crevice came goblins. Red, gleaming eyes. Like an activated crystal… Wait a second. Something clicked in Taka’s head, but he wasn’t fast enough to voice it. But.. couldn’t they just blow them up with a fire crystal? Or would one not be enough?

Everyone formed a circle, their backs to each other.

“Arthur?! Hope you’ve got a plan for this!” Ecirr shouted, eyes skittering about the cave.

“Beriyl, can you create dust with your magic?!”

“Wh- what!? I- I suppose, but I’ve never-“

“Then do it! Fill this entire room with dust, make it combustible!”

Beriyl looked bewildered, but slapped his hands together, then held his palms outstretched.

Combustible… The sound of arrows being loosed through the air made it almost hard to concentrate. He envisioned dust falling, then exploding. Dust that can explode…

He tried his best to imagine that as he channeled an immense amount of his remaining mana through his body and into his palms, and then…

“I do not know about combustible, but; Create Dust!”

A billowing, great cloud of blue, sparkling dust began to fall from the cave ceiling, causing several goblins clambering high up on the ceiling and walls to rub at their eyes, lose their grip and fall to their deaths. Even the ogre frantically swiped at its eyes, irritated severely by the dust as it began to hack and sneeze. The cave rumbled as it stomped about, and the rest of the horde paused in relative confusion, staring with almost childlike faces at the falling irritant.

It wouldn’t be enough, and Beriyl knew this. He placed his hands together, preparing to manipulate it into the spell Duststorm, but was interrupted by Arthur’s shout; “Retreat! Back into the tunnel!”

“No!” Beriyl cried. “Hold on! Listen to me, I will turn it into a Duststorm, it’ll buy us more time!”

“All right! Do it, Beriyl!”

Placing all his hands together, he focused his intent on the falling particles, imagining them as a violent whirlpool. To help himself visualize, he spun his hands about as if he were spinning a heavy ball, his movements quickening into a blur. It wasn’t necessarily difficult; he just needed to control the mana exuded by the particles, manipulate it with a defined intent, then activate the new spell. When he had it, he clenched his fists to help himself finalize it, as a brutal wind kicked up around them, pushing dust around the room.

“Duststorm!”

The clouds of dust quickened into buffeting waves accompanied by brutal winds that had no place inside a cave.

“Agh!” Taka coughed, rushing to cover his mouth and eyes. “Retreat!”

The six raced frantically out of the room, back into the hall-like area of the cave they’d come from. Taka gasped for breath, hacking out dust. Glancing over his shoulder, he could imagine the goblins were having a far worse time. If this was the whole plan, that didn’t seem so bad. The ogre couldn’t reach them in here, and most of the goblins that were on the ceiling would likely fall to their death. The ones who didn’t would hopefully be sucked into the vortex of the spell and dashed against the walls.

“What exactly is this plan of yours, Arthur?” Beriyl exasperatedly asked, his face drawn.

“We’re going to blow them up.”

At that, the half-elf’s eyes widened.

“That’s remarkably intelligent for someone like you. And here I was thinking you meant to burn them all to death, or some other such thing…”

Arthur shook his head.

“That would have to be accomplished another way, so no, that was not the plan.”

Beriyl seemed to have calmed down a considerable amount—perhaps he was feeling secure in his spells ability to hold back the murderous monsters inhabiting the room they’d left behind.

“Beriyl, I don’t think that’s really…” Qlul tried to chide but was silenced by Ecirr placing a hand on his shoulder. “Leave it,” the gesture seemed to say.

Arthur turned to face Eirairr. His ears were lowered, the tips trembling slightly.

“Eirairr. I have a pitcher of oil in my bag. I’m going to throw it into that room, and you’re going to shoot it out of the air. We’ll place a fire crystal inside. If we time it right, the oil will coat the dust, and the crystal will hit the ground, which should activate it. Then, Beriyl, you will cast your Shield spell to seal us into this corridor, and… if it all goes well, we’ll have killed everything in there.”

“Got it, Arthur.”

“I have just enough mana to do that,” Beriyl muttered. “But this’ll be the last of it. Casting that Dust spell over such a wide area really drained me.”

“This will be it, Beriyl. I promise.”

The half-elf did not offer a reply, instead wordlessly closing his eyes and collecting himself.

Arthur fetched the cruet of oil from his bag, then turned his attention back to the group.

“Do any of you have a fire crystal?”

“Yeah, here.” Qlul produced one from a pouch on his belt, then pressed it into his palm. Arthur closed his fist around it.

“All right.”

He opened the lid of the container, dropping the crystal inside with a nod. Plomp, it splashed. Then, he closed it back up.

“Beriyl, how long will your spell last?”

“I don’t know. Five more minutes, maybe.”

Arthur headed back toward the room full of goblins. With the Duststorm spell raging about, it was nigh impossible to see much of anything at all, and actually getting inside the room meant you risked getting thrown around by the violent winds.

“Beriyl. Eirairr. Ready?”

“As ever.” With a deep breath, Beriyl rose his hands.

“I’m ready.” Standing to the side, Eirairr drew his bow and nocked an arrow.

With a bellowing shout, Arthur launched the cruet into the room with all his strength behind the throw.

“Eirairr!”

With a telltale twang, the arrow soared through the air before piercing straight through the ceramic, splitting it in two. Just as planned. Oil was sent spraying out in all directions, the red glare of a fire crystal splitting through the blinding veil.

Nervously, Ecirr and Qlul joined their hands together, clenched tight.

His legs tucked beneath him, Taka watched in abject fear as the decisive moment arrived, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. His throat was so tight he could hardly breathe.

‘I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. What if it fails? What if… Beriyl’s going to be out of mana. We’ve killed a few of them already, but there’s no way we can fight an ogre, can we…? Maybe Arthur could, but… I don’t- I’m so scared. Please work. Please work.’

It was a good thing he wasn’t the one in charge of casting the spell that would safeguard them against the blast.

“Beriyl! Everyone, cover your ears!”

This was it— The last of his mana. This had to work.

Or they would all suffer for it.

Kneeling down, he slammed his hands against the ground.

“S- Shiiiiieeeeeld!”

A huge, ethereal shield sprang up from a middling point in the air and rapidly sealed off the entryway. Staring grimly into the maelstrom of dust, Beriyl braced himself.

Taka covered his ears, but when nothing happened, he uncovered them, keeping them close to his head just in case, and peered curiously down the hall.

...

Deep in the center of the room, likely spurled about by the wuthering winds, the crystal cracked. A brilliant, blinding flash of ruby light escaped through, and then it shattered.

Not a second later, the room exploded. A deafening crack like a mountain being shorn in two sent all who survived the blast reeling to the floor and clutching tightly at their ears. Thespell may have protected them from the shockwave and heat, but it could not defend them from the roar of death’s jaws.

As the chaos subsided and the dust settled, the Shield spell cracked and splintered apart before it finally fell away, dissolving into nothingness. The room before them was decorated by blown apart bodies, shards of bone, and crimson gore.

Nothing had survived.

At least, at first glance it had seemed that way.

Pitiful whimpers and cries punctuated a deafening silence louder than the explosion that prefaced it. At the far end of the room was the ogre, now dying. He clutched weakly at what remained of his face and tried to stand, but only fell over as all that remained of his legs were bleeding stumps. Blindly, he swiped at the air, cursing violently in the goblin tongue.

The plan had worked. Taka tried to stand up, but ended up collapsing instead. He tried to talk, but it was like he was hearing himself through a tin can. His voice was all muffled. His ears throbbed with a dull pain, and when he touched them, his hands came away wet with blood. Immediately, Taka vomited up the contents of his stomach onto the cave floor.

“Oh shit. Oh, shit. M- my ears are bleeding, my… Oh my Gods. What the fuck.”

The ringing became so loud, so encompassing and sickening, he couldn’t hear. His head hurt. His ears were ringing, so, so loud. His stomach hurt. A horrible wave of nausea washed over him, and he threw up again.

He couldn’t hear. But he could feel his heart.

‘I’m gonna have a fucking panic attack, what the hells is wrong with me? Oh my Gods, oh, I don’t, I can’t…’

He curled inward on himself, trying to escape the overwhelming flood of emotion.

Everything.

Everything was stressing him out. He could barely breathe. He couldn’t hear. The goblins were dead. The ogre was dying.

“My ears… My… my… my… Q- Qlul, p- please help me. Please..”

He was on the literal verge of tears. Something deep within him, something primal had taken hold of his heart and refused to let go. He couldn’t hear, and that terrified him.

Suddenly, he felt two warm hands grip his shoulders tightly. When he looked up, his hair disheveled, his face a terrified mess of tears and snot, he found himself looking into familiar blue eyes, a familiar, warm smile.

Qlul.

He felt a gradual wave of warmth travel through his body and wash over him. His ears slowly stopped ringing, his nausea faded. Voices faded in and he found he could hear again. He no longer felt deathly ill, he no longer felt so panicked. His heartrate began to calm, and then he threw himself into the birdfolk’s arms.

“T- thank you, Qlul… Gods, thank you.”

“Of course, Taka.”

Releasing all of his pent-up emotion at once, Beriyl fell to his knees, huffing a shuddering sigh of relief and anxiety. His own ears were ringing a fair bit, but nowhere near as bad as Taka’s had been.

“Gods. Gods.”

Arthur, on the other hand, paid no attention to anyone in the room. He simply drew his longsword, striding purposefully down the tunnel and into the wide, blackened room.

After seeing to the rest of their party members, Qlul simply sat with Taka, and held his hand for a time, while Ecirr and Eirairr headed down to check the final room with Arthur. Beriyl sat alone, murmuring to himself and staring into his palms while occasionally clenching his fist.

#

When Arthur returned, the raven-feathered birdfolk and blond elf in tow, he had just finished wiping the blood from his blade and was in the process of sheathing it as he coldly said; “Let’s go.”

There was a hint of something dark playing on his face, but Taka was too exhausted to think much about it. They’d all been through so much in just a few short hours. This on top of the earlier job had taken all the wind out of his proverbial sails.

So instead, he didn’t think about it. He just quietly, tiredly staggered back the way they came, with Arthur heading their formation as usual. The walk back was more grueling than before, but at least it was over. At least Leln was safe. At least they had survived.

Despite telling himself those truths, Taka couldn’t bring himself to feel any measure of pride. He’d done nothing. When push had come to shove, he’d shut down and freaked out. He’d been entirely worthless. Worse than that, he’d just been a liability.

Despite everything, he hadn’t changed at all.

At the thought, he felt bitter and stinging tears well up, but they stubbornly refused to spill over.

‘Dane would be so disappointed in me. I bet if he knew this was how I reacted to situations like this, he’d hate me. He’d think I’m a loser and tell me he doesn’t care about me anymore, or something. I don’t know why Arthur keeps me around. I can’t do anything. I’ve proven that I’m useless, utterly worthless practically every time something like this happens. I should just…’

Taka shook his head weakly.

‘Just shut up. Just shut the hells up… I’m so gods damned tired.’

When they finally made it back outside the cave, Taka immediately collapsed to the ground and hugged his knees, sucking in a weary breath.

‘I’m just so done…’

Qlul stopped with him, bending down to comfort him by patting his back.

“W- where is he? Where is Edward? Where is my grandson?” An elderly voice cried. In front of the mouth to the cave, a small number of townsfolk had gathered, including the mayor. All wore worried or frightened expressions, although as they watched the six exit the cave, some of them softened into relieved smiles.

Arthur stopped and met her gaze. Her face was long with stress and etched with age, her voice unsteady as her legs.

“The party that entered before us was destroyed.”

Her heart broke—you could see it in her face. Her eyes widened as she took on a look of abject sorrow, before she collapsed to the ground in a fit of sobs and buried her face in her hands.

“Oh, oh…. Oh Gods, Edward…”

Behind her, a visibly exhausted young man placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Come, Ms. Éclair…”

Deciding now was the best time for him to say his bit, a boy — no older than twelve — hesitantly stepped up from the crowd.

“U- um… we’re glad your safe, er… Thank you for saving us!”

“Yes—thank you.” Another, a tall man with an axe over his shoulder added. “We were just about to send a rescue party after you, and you’re the rescue party…”

It was a terrible, failure of an attempt at humor. Nobody laughed. Arthur only stared at the man, then nodded.

“Ahem…”

In the wake of this awkward exchange, a familiar halfling approached. It was the mayor himself—Duley Bettencourt.

“On behalf of Leln, I-“

“What is the situation?”

Bettencourt blinked at the bluntness of Arthur’s interruption.

“Er- I… Yes.” He pushed up his circular glasses.

“We have utilized a sizeable number of Leln’s guard to ensure all goblin corpses will be removed from the streets and burned. We don’t want those to get in the hands of any unsavory individuals like that damn Twistwire… The last thing we need is a necromancer raising goblin skeletons and having those run amock. Well, that man’s many things, but I doubt he’s a… Anyway, er… We will see to it that the eight who fell today receive a proper burial.”

Then he shook his head and pointed angrily up at Arthur.

“Don’t you think if I had other places to be, that I’d be there? I wouldn’t be here talking to you if the town were still under attack and its people being killed!” With a haughty huff, he added; “I assure you; we have it well under control now.”

Less than ten people had died in the raid. But that was still ten, real people, each with their own hopes and dreams. They had been living just a few short hours ago, and now they were gone.

Leln had no church that provided resurrection services, and it was unlikely any of the adventurers in town had access to such high-level magic. In fact, probably less than five people on the continent had enough mana to cast a resurrection spell singlehandedly. That meant there was almost no chance anyone who died would be brought back. They were gone forever.

That thought alone was hard to process.

Arthur only nodded.

“I see.”

Then he turned back, fixating this time on a certain jet-haired half-elf; Beriyl.

“Well done, Beriyl. You did well.”

Beriyl’s face upturned in a smug grin.

“Well, of course I did! Hmph, I am Beriyl Edmund Ciphre von Aschwaz, after all! What would you do without me?”

‘…Of course he wouldn’t thank me. I didn’t do anything worth being thanked for. Yeah, I almost got us all killed, so… Why are you surprised? Just shut up, Taka… Worthless, useless idiot.’

Qlul must have sensed Taka falling deeper into his negative spiral, because he moved his hand to rest atop his shoulder and gently said; “It’ll be okay, Taka.”

Taka unburied his face and looked at him, on the verge of tears once again.

“Will it? I did nothing, I…”

He sighed, and shoved his face back into his knees, swearing under his breath and trying to not cry. Just for once.

‘Just cry later. Just cry in your room. Just cry later. Just stop. Just stop.’

“You’re alive, and so am I. That’s enough, isn’t it? As long as you’re alive, you can continue to learn and grow. You’ll become stronger. Don’t worry.”

When he met his gaze again, Qlul had taken on an uncharacteristically somber expression. Self-doubt flickered in his eyes.

The loss of the dwarf Twistwire came to mind. He had failed to save him.

He was a healer, yet in that singular dire moment when someone needed him most, he had panicked and failed. Twistwire had died because of that. It was like a fresh wound festering in his heart, needling at his very soul.

But the words he’d said had truth to them, and Taka took that to heart.

He was always hard on himself, even when nobody was mad at him.

This time around, he was mad at himself, but that didn’t really count…

Qlul was right. He would learn and grow, he would change. He had to put in the effort, but he could become stronger. He could become like Arthur. Or like Beriyl, even.

…

On second thought, he didn’t think he wanted to become like Beriyl. Beriyl was annoying, brattish, and…

But when it came down to it, Beriyl had been the backbone of Arthur’s plan. For all intents and purposes, it was due to him being there, that they were all alive right now.

‘I still don’t want to be like Beriyl… but I want to be like Arthur. I want to be capable; I want… I want Dane to be proud of me. And I want to be proud of myself.’

Taka forced himself to speak and push past his conflicting emotions. He’d just think about it later. He always overthought everything.

“Yeah… you’re right, Qlul.”

Even if he didn’t truly believe those words, he’d make himself believe them in time. He had to.

Bettencourt didn’t seem to appreciate Arthur repeatedly changing his focus to other people, and so he loudly cleared his throat; “A-hem!”

“Yes?” Arthur went, turning back to peer down at the mayor.

“This is hardly the place to have such a conversation, so I would ask you to follow me back to my office. I would discuss a reward for your efforts.”

“We have things to tell you, too.” Ecirr added, stepping forward.

“All the more reason for us to change locale, then! Follow me, if you would, gentlemen…” Qlul rose, pulling Taka to his feet with him.

“Come on, Taka.”

By now, most of the crowd had dispersed. The only who remained was the old woman and the young man, presumably her caretaker.

As they passed by, Qlul laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and murmured; “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Those words only made her cry harder.

Taka averted his eyes, unable to look. At the last minute, he gave his harried condolences in passing.

Eirairr, however, in typical Eirairr-fashion seemed to be bursting at the seams with energy at the weirdest of times. Being the last to say anything, he shouted “Sorry!” in a very inappropriately happy tone like he was playing a game, or something.

That earned him more than a few weird stares, plus a glare from the woman’s caretaker.

To that, he just pouted and looked away.

Just like a child.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The moment I can change myself, and even the world; It's always by my side."

FLOW - Colors

[mechazushi]

Bartender: Glass of God. The manga, the Show, The Reboot.

TL:DR; A review about some rando's take on a little known bartending manga that got turned into a show and just released a reboot of the same show.

F*ck it, I'm doing reviews now and I just wanted to shout out a great slice of life anime about the one thing that weirdly tickles a random cluster of neurons in my skull: Aesthetically pleasing looking drinks.

Lets kick this off by getting everyone on the same page about a few things. The manga is called Bartender and its a finished series. The first run of the anime was in 2006 and lasted 11 episodes. Today, as of April 5, 2024, they are reproducing an updated version called Bartender: Glass of God. There is only one episode (obviously) so this review will only cover differences I've noticed between the three and how I feel about this. (also I haven't finished the first show and I just read, like, The first three chapters and skipped a volume/ read some chapters from that no less that 2 minutes before writing this. the next review I make of this, I will probably be reading more to make this more credible.) The story is about a man named Ryu Sasakura. As far as I can tell, he doesn't really have a resound, Earth-shattering goal for himself. He's just there to make cocktails and give advice/fix relationships. Bartender is accompanied by a somewhat steady cast of reoccurring characters, mainly one woman in particular named Miwa Kurushima.

Got all that. Good. Here we go.

The Manga (spoilers)

While this is the material I have previously admitted not to have studied the most intensely, It is the basis from where these shows originate from and should be given center stage at the moment. The first chapter starts with Miwa in a bar fretting over a task from work, she argues with the guy behind the bar about her drink, then gets interrupted by Ryu. She pieces together that Ryu is a bartender and manages to convince him to show up at a testing and interview at a newly built hotel that's trying to open a bar inside. He shows up, aces the test, then rejects the offer to work there, saying he wants to try other places first.

Having this be the last thing I looked made everything else I was about to watch a bit of shock to me. Most people read the book before watching the movie/series, which causes most people to compare the two. In most cases, in a negative light because people tend to really attached to the source material and get fussy when something gets changed. Not to say that someone going in the opposite direction like I have couldn't act the same way, but it also helps that I haven't had the time or the well aged, rose colored glasses to view everything through.

So when I saw that Ryu doesn't immediately start out working in his famous Eden Hall. It gave me an odd platform to (hopefully) objectively compare the shows to. Also, a lot of the major story points that get touched on in the first episodes of both of the shows, are not present or given different context in the manga. There are things that remain consistent between all three. That being the two phrases "What two professions should you never betray the customer?" and the speech about "why is a bartender called a bartender?". What I found to be the most decisive creative difference between all three was how they portrayed the first drink served in all three first episodes/chapters. In all three, is a whiskey/ water mix with a higher ratio of water to whiskey ( In the reboot, they changed it to a High ball, which is just sparkling soda instead of water, but I think that's because a water cut is more of a Japanese thing.) The drink and how he comes at the presentation of the drink reflects his personality for the rest of the series. To be honest, I think a lot of people would be surprised at how the creation and the aftermath of the High ball scene definitively sets up just how different Ryu's personality is in each iteration.

In the manga, Ryu is smart, but not right off the bat. Given time to prepare and he can come across as amazing and otherworldly. But catch him off guard with something can cause him to fumble. He is also portrayed as impulsive, running off to steal a specific type of ice and staging (At least one that I know of) happenstance meetings. The man knows what it takes to impress someone, but through it all, he's still human. Albeit, it doesn't show through normal human behaviors like a clear expression of goals or bad habits, This doesn't make him come across like a robot, but as a man wiser than his years whose had time to perfect his perception of people and how to cater to a distraught stranger. This is helped by the fact that this story has actual plot that is subcontextual in every chapter with a slow, but not a slow-burn level of progression. That last bit is absolutely no where to be seen in the 2006 iteration of Bartender.

Bartender: The 2006 release (Spoilers)

The 2006 version was the one I had stumbled upon first. Thought it was interesting, watched two episodes and didn't pick it back up again for several months. Not because it was bad, mind you. but the thing about the story Bartender is that... its not meant to be binged in one seating. The show is meant to be savored slowly, like an actual cocktail. The way the original anime variation is set up like this; Ryu already has Eden Hall, and the lore acts like he's always been there, where in the manga he was actually living in France for years before he decided to come back to Japan and start his own bar. And Ryu didn't even start with Eden, he worked somewhere else as a new guy before befriending Miwa's grandpa and gramps (gifting? convinced? not sure haven't found the chapter yet) Ryu the Eden Hall. So the story the show sets up ends up acting like Eden Hall just... grew out of a side street and there was Ryu behind the mahogany.

This isn't helped by how they depicted the doorway in the show verses the manga. The entry is down a set of stairs and off to the left, hidden underneath a deceptively simple sign in the manga; while in the show its just... in the wall facing the street. Its framed by three square stone pillars set in the wall around it with a small, lit potted tree sat beside, making the entry feel more like you're stepping into an underground temple than a bar.

The show then continues like a abridged and condensed rendition of the manga. The b*tchy personality that was given to Miwa was given to her supervisor. She meets Ryu at the Hall and he correctly guesses the drink order she always had when she got off work when they both were in France several years ago, He wasn't asked or even showed up to the bartending test, and the setup to the water-cut whisky scene was way different. Instead of making the drink at the test and then later giving the supervisor a taste of Ryu's Sherlockian level deduction skills at a different bar; the events leading to the drink, the making of the drink, and the key speeches that define the core of the first chapter were shoved into a scene that lasted probably less then 10 minutes and it never left Eden Hall.

Having the show frame it like this, left me with the impression that Ryu... was some sort of God. Like a benevolent being whose sole purpose of existence was to make drinks and help others emotionally. It isn't helped by how the show is presented. Its episodic, prioritizing facts and answers to relatable situations over chaining lore beats. Unintentionally making Ryu feel inhuman; he's helpful, sure, but comes across as vaguely omnipotent, and there's also no scene where Ryu is outside of the bar, making it feel like he only exists to serve. This could just be Japanese work style mannerisms at work, but if that isn't the case, then him acting with no changes in demeanor like that just tacks on to the whole not human allegations.

The reason why I feel like this is comes out in one particular scene. In the making of the water cut whiskey, there's another speech that is given. The two of them talk about why Eden Hall was named Eden Hall. Turns out it relates to an English Folk tale about a group of fairies leaving behind a glass and a note saying "You break this, bad luck comes to Eden Hall. (paraphrased, of course)" After the speech is given, Ryu walks over to a glass cabinet that contains an ice sculpture recreation of the famous Eden Hall glass... and promptly BREAKS IT IN FRONT OF THE GUY! He uses the ice from the sculpture for the drink and that becomes part of the reason the drink is so good, its because of how special the ice is.

Having not read the manga before hand, I didn't know at the time that this was the show writers way of introducing the so important ice sculpture needed to make this Glass of God, but without having Ryu being all the way at the hotel for the test. Not knowing this, I think, unintentionally made Ryu feel like he viewed anyone that walked through his door, was just a toy to him that he could fix or break emotionally, and that he only helped as many people as he did was because he felt like it. Seeing Ryu break the sculpture after giving that speech and serve the drink to a man that had been openly hostile to him gave this whole scene an unintended shock factor that I didn't see coming. And the thing is, the origin of the name for Eden Hall speech takes place in like, midway through VOLUME 2. It was never supposed to be in the first episode. Having everything unfold like that was a deliberate choice of the writers, so it makes me wonder if they were doing this intentionally. Again, having not read the manga first and seeing Ryu portrayed like this had me unprepared to meet the Reboot variation of him

Bartender: Glass of God (Spoilers, duh)

Having only one episode to draw from for this part makes me hopeful that this will be shorter than what I have written so far, (God, what have started). I think this will be more of a description of what changes were made and hopeful expectations since there isn't much to stack up, material wise.

Starting off, this looks like its going to be more lore based than its earlier counterpart. We get to see Miwa actually interacting with her supervisor and a friend that appears only occasionally in the first run. Miwa was a bitch before and then had next to no personality in the show, but now seems to have regain a little of the b*tchyness and is now more...judgemental? Definitely a reads book covers first kind-a person, but is paired nicely with her bubbly and eager friend. We still have the bartender test, but instead of the reason behind it being that the supervisor is stingy and judgemental (or outright hates bartenders) him, Miwa, and her friend are all on a mission to find the bartender that makes the Glass of God, and this is on orders from above the supervisor. Honestly, the writers did a really good job with everyone that makes an appearance across all the media, because they even took their time and gave the three bartenders that show up for the test their own personalities. They didn't have to do that and I love them for it.

After the test fails they meet Ryu in the park. And this is where the show kinda slapped me in the face a little. Again, the only other reference to Ryu that I had seen was the earlier 2006 run, and (hopefully) you saw how I felt about him. So to see Ryu act as this forgetful, awkward, goofy goober of a person really threw me for a loop. He leaves behind a book from the library and Miwa ends up holding onto it. The two of them meet two more times and because Miwa's whole mission is to find the maker of the Glass of God, finally finds Eden Hall. Again, the show decides to have Ryu have Eden Hall to start off with instead of him working somewhere else and then earning the right to have Eden Hall. I'm not going to have a strong opinion on which direction is better yet because there's a shot where Ryu is looking dramatically at a fenced in, empty lot, that and crossed with this being more lore heavy so as to tie in better with the original manga, it seems like a better plan to let this play out and see where it goes first.

Anyway, Miwa and friend show up and realize its Ryu. (If you can't tell by now, we're about to hit the High Ball sequence.) This time, Ryu has more customers in the room with him, setting it up to be what I thought was the best iteration of the whole "realization that Ryu is d*mn good at his job". The test from earlier actually becomes important this time around because it sets up two scenarios that a good bartender should be good at if they want to be considered good. And of course, Ryu passed with flying colors. We now enter the High Ball scene. And honestly, nothing really stands out about this version, but I think that's because its blending in with the momentum kept from the previous drinks, making it that from the moment they enter the bar, the High ball itself doesn't stand out specifically until after Miwa comments on it, drawing out what so special about it. She asks for hers after seeing the other two get made and gets hyped for the drink as she sees whiskey being brought out, thinking shes going to get something fancy... only to get handed the (infamous) High ball. Miwa writes it off, thinking that nothing special could come from something so simple...only to have a Studio Ghibli level blast to the senses. Which is here we tie into the voice lines about how Ryu knew that a water cut whiskey would be perfect for her at the moment, going into the same spiel about how observant he is and makes the viewers know that Ryu is that guy. This episode so far has been a wonderful take on a lesser know story and I'm glad that the lore is getting a turn in the spotlight this time around.

This is a whole different take on the characterization of the bartender named Ryu. Going from unusually wise but young bartender, to possibly omnipotent God of cocktails and relationship advice, to a socially awkward and unashamed of it human who's just a beast behind the counter with a cobbler shaker in his hands. There isn't enough footage of the Reboot variant of Ryu being a free therapist or being a relationship solver yet so this is where I leave this review of Bartender: Glass of God for now. Again, I haven't finished the 2006 run or the manga yet, so take everything I've been saying with a grain of salt

If you have managed to make it this far, I applaud your tenacity, or severely pity your level of boredom, but nontheless greatly appreciate you taking time out of your shitty sleep schedule and joined me on my first review. I don't think I'll be doing this too often. And if I do, there will be an attempt to condense it all down much more succinctly. Here's hoping that a brief glance ( cuz' lets be honest, no one is going to read this whole thing) might of convinced you to check out an amazing slice of life that just focuses on taking advice and swallowing down the bitterness of life with a chilled and well crafted glass (of god).

THANK YOU EVEYBODY! ILL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

[nothingbutnormalreviews]

Once Upon a Broken Heart

Stephanie Garber

Rating

7/10?

Recommended?

Yeah, sure

Read Again?

Maybe in a year or two

Time to Complete

A little over 9 hours (I'm not really a fast reader)

Trigger Warnings

Death (non-graphic), blood, sexual (adjacent) content if you squint… mostly

First Thoughts

So, I’ve never done a book review before. The reason being I have a habit of starting books, putting them down, forgetting about them, then when I remember them again I have to restart creating a never ending cycle of unread books. I have been writing - and I promise this comes back around, it’s not just me bragging - over a thousand words per day for the past 40-something days. I literally put away my writing and just read this for two days so I wouldn’t do that same thing. I wrote maybe a hundred words last night which is less than I have in who knows how long.

I recommended a friend of a friend the A Court Of Thorns and Roses series. I haven’t read it myself but I watched someone review it who was hate reading it. In return she recommended me this book. Well, she’s now on book five of the series I recommended her so I said sure and picked it up without even reading the summary.

So, here we are.

Favourite Characters

The spirit foxes, LaLa

Least Favourite Character

Marisol

No Spoiler Thoughts

I had zero expectations going into this book. I also had zero idea what the book was about except that it was a young adult fiction. I went in with a full open mind and I definitely didn’t hate it. I had to get through it pretty quickly because I didn’t want to forget about it but it never felt like a chore to read. 

The descriptions were nice. I had a few issues picturing a couple of them but most hit well. Unlike a lot of books, I didn’t find myself skipping certain pieces to get to the next part and having to go back to read it quite as often. There was a good balance between dialogue and descriptors. 

The characters and their motivations were solid but some of the dialogue with them did feel a bit… stale? The side characters would give bits of motivational speeches to the main character but some of them felt out of character. Like any random character could have said that same exact thing but also would any of them really speak like that? 

The plot was good. I felt like it didn’t stay on one path too long and had a very “oh, we’re doing this now” kind of feel on some parts but I’ll talk about that more in the spoilers section. I found myself enjoying the world that was built. The world having magic in one area but not in another was interesting to me. Hello, I want spirit foxes and mini dragons though.

I read a digital copy of the book on my phone and I did find that a bit of the formatting got a touch weird. It was nothing that made me want to stop reading or really get frustrated but it didn’t go unnoticed. I’m sure the physical book is a lot better spaced. Also, the physical book design is gorgeous. 

Food for thought (and I count this as not a spoiler since it’s talked about almost immediately): if Jacks kisses himself does he die? If he doesn’t die does that mean he’s his own true love?

Spoiler Thoughts

I’ll be honest, I got to about a hundred pages left and I thought to myself: how are they going to wrap anything up by the end of this without it feeling rushed? We don’t know who killed Apollo, we still don’t know anything about that gate, we don’t know if Marisol is actually a bad person, there’s still one more kiss left. How? The answer is: none of it was. We learned that Marisol put a love spell on Luc… and that’s really it. They teased knowing that his brother killed Apollo but then went: eh? Are you sure though?? Sure, we learned about the gate… kinda.

I know there’s a second book. I have it on hold and I’m just waiting for it to be available. I did screw up and released my hold on the book before writing a review so all of what I have is just what’s in my memory from the last two days since I don’t want to spoil anything for myself. I just felt like this book and The Ballad of Never After are probably going to end up feeling like they should have been one continuous book rather than two separate books but we’ll see I guess. 

The plot didn’t really go where I expected it to go. In the start I figured it’d end up being about her running her father’s shop then it got sold. Then suddenly she’s meeting the empress - as a note: the amount of times the words ‘petal’ and ‘hummingbird’ were said in that scene was incredibly high - and being shipped up North. Then I thought it’d be about her moving there permanently and Jacks causing mischief while she tried to learn about the stories her mom told her. It absolutely shocked me that she actually said yes to Apollo’s proposal.

It just kept taking turns that I wasn’t expecting which wasn’t a bad thing. Then suddenly there were vampires?? Why not, I guess. Then suddenly Luc was there because… why not I guess? I get he was trying to heal his scars but that felt like something that could have been saved for the second book. It felt forced so that Jacks would get frisky with Evangeline.

The plot did have me feeling like I was being dragged along for the ride sometimes but Evangeline probably felt the same way. Guess we’re being turned to stone now. Oop, now we’re going to the North, alright. Oh, the prince actually wants me? Probably because of Jacks but alright. Oh, he’s dead now and I’m uncontrollably sobbing. Jacks is holding me now in the house of another Fate? Cool, cool. We’re going to find the real killer, got it. Vampires? Those are real? Wait, is that the guy from the party? Well, this whole place is like a torture dungeon but here we are. Wait, is that Luc? And he’s trying to kill me now. And now Jacks is trying to bite me. But Marisol’s bad! Got that at least! Nope, never mind, it was mostly Apollo’s brother (that I can’t remember the name of, obviously) and he’s trying to kill me now because of a prophecy. Hey! I’m alive and a princess again! Oh, Apollo’s also alive!

And that’s the plot for you.

Okay, let’s talk about some of the characters.

I didn’t care for Marisol from the absolute beginning. The author tried to make us like her a bit more. Oh, her mom sucks. Oh, she was called the Cursed Bride. Oh, she’s more reserved. She was the one character that felt less concrete than the rest. She felt like she was just trying to become Evangeline for the entire book. Like she was ready to skin her to make that happen. She took Evangeline’s lover. She took Evangeline’s room. She got engaged to Apollo’s brother, like, three days after his death. Chill, girl.

In the end it was basically her fault that Evangeline got mixed up with Jacks. There are how many people in that town and you have to try to curse Evangeline’s love? Seriously? And then she has the nerve to basically try to get Evangeline killed because she wanted to stop the wedding? Was Evangeline an idiot for trying to use a Fate to do that? Yeah. And she paid for it by turning to stone for six weeks and being indebted to said Fate. What did you get to repay for what you did, huh? You lost someone who wasn’t yours and got the kindness of your step-sister? 

I just felt like she was the least fleshed out character of them all from motivations to dialogue. At least her mom’s goal was to make her a good wife. Marisol felt very all over the place and I felt tired of her by the end. 

Jacks - on the other hand - was a good villain character. Maybe not even a real villain character. Chaotic neutral. A person with his own motivations that weren’t exactly moral and likes chaos. He’s written well. He sticks to his motivations well. I think he might like biting a bit too much? Not judging… mostly. Biting’s just brought up a lot with him. Consent, bro. Him revealing that Evangeline didn’t actually have to kiss those people for them to be charmed and that he just made her for fun was wild. I can respect that kind of chaos. 

Speaking of chaos, what an absolute power move though to just break a goddamn lock with vampire venom in his veins and be like “cool, kill me then lmao”. I will say, some of those descriptors in that scene definitely seemed a lot like kissing her neck. Again, not judging just gotta get consent, bro. 

I think he was the most entertaining character to read. I really do enjoy reading characters that are charismatic like that mostly because I feel like I have more trouble writing them than most kinds of characters. He’s a character that you can hate but at the same time like and understand. Absolutely someone I’d want to stay fifty feet minimum away from if he was a real person though. 

Evangeline. For the entire book - I kid you not - I skipped over her name. Even proof reading this I skip over it. I tried to pronounce it on the first page and couldn’t quite figure it out. I just looked up the pronunciation of it and I think it’s now on my list of least favourite names next to Calliope and Boyanna. Honestly, I respect the choices she made most of the time. Sometimes she definitely felt like a goddamn push over. She didn’t fight to get the shop back that was sold when she was turned to stone, she didn’t take her room back when it was given to Marisol. 

She is stronger willed than I am though. In at least two parts of that book I would have just been like “okay, death it is” and when woken up just sigh. The first time Jacks said “my kiss would kill you” I’d have been like “okay, do it” and called it a day life. And not because of the rumours of his kiss being to die for. Seriously, this girl had more near death experiences in however-long-the-book-takes than most people have in a lifetime. 

The biggest thing I can’t forgive her for is not getting a pet dragon though. Seriously, who goes to a magical land and doesn’t get a goddamn mini pet dragon on a whim even if you can’t take it back to the South. Come on!

Final Thoughts 

Overall, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the book considering I read the whole thing in two days. I liked the concept and the writing’s good. The main characters are definitely easy to read - unlike some books that make you want to strangle the main character - and mostly have well thought motivations. I’m ready to read the second book after I catch up on some of my own writing and maybe dye my hair rose gold???

[talesfromthemidnightride]

Alex in Deutschland by Roger Neumaier

★★☆☆☆

Synopsis: Alex Schwarz, a second-generation Holocaust survivor, is given the unique ability to see past events after taking LSD. The first arc of the story delves into uncovering his newfound gift along with the help of his Russian immigrant girlfriend, Lucy. The two decide to embark on a European vacation and chase the biggest demon that had impacted his family & youth — Adolf Hitler.

Quick Takeaway:

There are lots of broken or fragmented sentences and grammatical mistakes.

Dialogue does not feel natural, and is often used to simply "push" the story along narratively.

The story falls very heavily on "tell, not show".

Offers interesting insight into German and Jewish culture.

Not all foreign words, concepts, or phrases will be translated for the reader's sake. But those that are, are translated well.

Characters are constantly going back and forth on what they want to do and think about situations.

For a book delving into Adolf Hitler and his impact on survivors and their children, it frequently misspells his name as Adolph.

Death is added, not to further the story, but to add shock to the reader and character.

In-depth spoiler review under the cut!

My first impression of the book was how it delved right into the story with no build-up, which was rather jarring. This is not to say that a story must build up before tossing us into the meat of the story. In this instance, it felt as if we were already in the middle of a scene and being treated as such. Add in the grammar mistakes already littering the first few pages of the book, and it became a whiplash of a first chapter.

One of the main characters in the novel is a Russian immigrant woman named Lucy. Unlike other non-English native-speaking characters, Lucy who has been in America for most of her life and gone through college can only speak English in a very fragmented sense. Take for instance the following sentence:

"Alex, we just begin learn about dream-visions at Chelsea Hotel. Now we need learn more."

All of her dialogue is on par with this snippet. Which makes little sense knowing her background and how long she has been in America on her own. Especially when compared to random travelers they encounter whose English is far better than hers.

I noticed that characters often go on very long monologues to push or drive a scene. Many of these are supposed to carry or hold a lot of emotional weight, but you won't get the full impact as it ends up being mostly dialogue with a little bit of narrative. But the narrative leans very heavily into "Then, then, then." Then they took a deep breath. Then they paused. Then they wept.

But, on the flip side, small events are overly written out, such as the sentence below:

Lucy stopped in front of room 205, put a key in the lock, turned it, and opened the door.

While I won't call them mistakes, they do all add up and make the story very draining to read. It does not allow the mind to imagine a scene as the build-up is non-existent or scenes are very dialogue-heavy. Any instance of emotion for readers is left from a "tell, not show" perspective, which means the most we receive is "Lucy did not seem to enjoy any of his comments."

Characters also tend to go back and forth on their thoughts and ideas. One minute Alex doesn't want to go through with experimenting on his new abilities, then the next minute he does. One day Lucy doesn't want to experiment any further, but then she does. I feel as if a good chunk of the story could have been reduced if the characters weren't constantly changing their mind about things. It expanded far more than just testing Alex's boundaries, which grew to be rather annoying the more the story progressed.

Although, I have learned a few things about Jewish and German American culture from this book. Mainly due to the POV character monologuing quite a bit and over-explaining things out. Such as when Alex was telling Lucy about his family's religious background and the religious holidays they celebrate. Mainly of Yom Kippur and how it is one of the most important holidays for those of the Jewish faith.

I had a long debate on rather I should go with one or two stars on this story but ultimately went with 2 stars as this feels like a deeply personal story that Roger had to tell. I also noted that as the story progressed, his writing did improve gradually. Had he taken more time to hone his writing skill, I think this would have been an excellent story as it was an interesting read.

If you would like to also read this story, please consider any of the following links: Barnes Noble link. Indie Bound link. Bookshop link.

While reading this story, I recommend chamomile tea, as it can help with aiding sleep, and perhaps bring you to your own (legal) dream-vision such as the ones Alex experienced! This is one of my favorite chamomile teas.

I also prepared a soft German rock playlist for you to listen to as you learn more about Alex's family and heritage.