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butterflydm · 1 year

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wot reread: a memory of light (chapter 38-epilogue)

spoilers for a memory of light!

Well, the rest of the chapters have fewer pages in total than chapter 37 did, so this is going to be my last full reread post, though I do have a couple of follow-ups planned.

My timing ended up being pretty good, even though my original intention was just to reread books 1-3 in anticipation of the second season of the show. And now I’ve still got over a month to get good and excited about everything the show will be bringing to the table.

1. We go back to Rand, still deep in his conversation with TDO. The chapter “the Last Battle” really revolved around the battle between the forces outside Shayol Ghul, because it ended when the commander of the other army finally was killed (though there are still a ton of his forces to take care of, the head of the snake was cut off and so was the person who fancied himself Demandred’s replacement).

2. The ‘let go’ that Rand is hearing in his mind is in his father’s voice, and the meaning expands here -- let them sacrifice. it is their choice to make. And then Egwene’s voice -- am I not allowed to be a hero too?

Because this is something that Rand has been resisting over the course of the books -- basically ever since he accepted that he will be the sacrifice, he’s struggled with knowing that he’s not the only one, with knowing that other people are sometimes even sacrificing just to get him here, to this place. And, I imagine, with his tentative plans to maybe even survive this ‘sacrifice’, that’s going to make him feel even more guilty about other people giving up their lives in this fight.

3. He talks in dialogue with Egwene’s voice in his head (given that he’s existing around and between reality, it might really be Egwene’s voice too). He is not in charge of protecting her. He decided to take that charge on himself, back in EotW, but it was never his to claim. Let us die for what we believe, and do not try to steal that from us.

4. And so Rand takes himself through his list again, backwards, this time, releasing his feelings of shame for failing to save them, releasing his need to protect them. Letting go of the mountain that has been crushing him for the majority of the series.

He hadn’t realized how large it had become, how much he had let himself carry.

...

Ilyena was last. We are reborn, Rand thought, so we can do better the next time.

So do better.

5. And now Rand, as he stands surrounded by all time and nothing at the same time, comes to understand that the Darkness was never a being, never an entity of its own. It is the between of everything. It can only win if no one is willing to keep fighting against it.

6. Mat gets the news of Lan’s reported death. As he did with Egwene and with Elayne, he swallows the grief and doesn’t let it show to anyone else, instead using the news to spur the army onward to attack the now-stunned foe.

7. Rand tells TDO that he can’t win, and TDO argues that it has Rand in its grasp right now, and Rand says that that’s missing the point, because it was never just about his victory. The people he lists:

Morgase (?) - a woman, torn and beaten down, cast from her throne and made a puppet

Thom - a man who remembered stories and took fool boys under his wing

Moiraine - a woman who hunted truth before others could

Perrin (?) - a man whose family was taken from him, but who stood tall

Nynaeve - a woman who refused to believe she could not Heal those who had been harmed

Mat - a hero who insisted with every breath that he was not a hero

Egwene - a woman who would not bend her back while she was beaten and who stone with the Light for all who watched

Rand realizes -- “it was never about beating me. It was about breaking me.”

8. Okay, I have to say. I have to! But this is... this is literally also how the Seanchan work. This is their philosophy of life -- to take people and break them to the Seanchan’s purpose. As I’ve said before, there really is no way around the fact that the Seanchan are going to be the Great Evil of the Fourth Age. There are just too many Shadow-Seanchan parallels! Maybe Mat and Min can slow the train slightly but I don’t think they can actually put the breaks on it.

9. But back to now -- Rand and TDO watch the battlefield, where Mat is fighting -- Tam at his side, then Karede and his suicide-slave troops, then Loial and the Ogier. “Outnumbered three to one”. Mat is shouting in the Old Tongue: For the Light! For honor! For glory! For life itself!

I will take a moment to be glad that, despite the first half of this book trying so hard to align Mat with the slavers for whatever fucking reason, he’s not fighting for the slavers in this battle. That he actually did become the General of the Forces of the Light, not primarily the General of the Slavers. Looking back, it really does feel like the change was signaled when Mat first took off his Seanchan clothes and put back on his Two Rivers coat*. That seems to have been a visual cue about his change in characterization -- how he started pushing back more against Tuon, forcing her into more compromises, and standing more aligned with the Forces of Light rather than pandering to the slavers all the time. idk, maybe forcing Mat over to Ebou Dar at the start of the book was Sanderson’s way of trying to finally create a synthesis between the horrible Mat of CoT & KoD and the non-horrible Mat of the earlier books, and he felt like he actually had to take Seanchan!Mat to his worst conclusion before bringing him out again? It still really sucks that the Mat and Rand reunion happened during our low point of Mat’s characterization, though.

(* which appears to have been triggered by the ‘not pleasant’ conversation that Mat and Tuon had after Tuon berates him for not telling her that Egwene was briefly enslaved by the Seanchan. After that (off-screen) conversation, Mat starts being much more combative re: the Seanchan -- after that conversation is when he has his bitter/sarcastic thought that he’s not done much to convince Tuon to stop using damane and when he suggests to Min that she mislead Tuon about her viewings to try to soften her stance on Aes Sedai; so I think we can safely give Egwene credit for the turnaround in Mat’s characterization -- I wish that that conversation between Mat and Tuon hadn’t happened off-screen! like so many important emotional moments!, but it seems like perhaps that was a watershed moment for Mat)

Rand and TDO watch, and TDO taunts Rand “the son of battles. I will take him [Mat!]. I will take them all, adversary. As I took the king of nothing [this is Lan, I assume]”.

10. Mat thinks about how he knows he can win this battle, despite the horrible odds. He just needs “a favorable toss of the dice”.

And, not too far away, with the Trollocs outside his hiding place, Olver gives up on the idea of trying to get the Horn to Mat, and lifts the Horn of Valere to his lips.

11. First Mat, and then everyone else, hears Rand’s voice -- he calls out Shai’tan as wrong, telling everyone that Lan isn’t dead. And just after he says that, Mat hears the familiar golden and clear note of the Horn of Valere.

...wow, the Seanchan feel so superfluous to requirements right now. They didn’t show up until after the final combat was engaged, after Rand had his final necessary epiphany, after the Horn was blown (they have still not shown up, technically).

I’m going to take a moment to daydream about a world where Tuon’s nature as marath’damane was revealed and accepted, so she really did flee with the Seanchan (so that she can try to recover from this blow to her powerbase) and the Seanchan never returned to the Last Battle. This would be a much easier way to de-tangle Mat from the Seanchan than whatever he’s gonna need to actually do post-canon.

12. The Heroes of the Horn return and our first sight of them is Birgitte coming to save Elayne from Mellar, with a shining silver arrow. 😍

Birgitte standing over her own corpse kinda cracks me up. Good for her! It’s also probably the first time she’s felt like herself in books and books.

“That was the bloody Horn of Valere!” Mat announces to his troops. “We can still win this night!” Inside, he marvels over how the Horn was sounded without him, showing that one of the things that he’d believed that he was permanently tied to isn’t tied to him after all.

Well, if that knot can be untied, Mat, maybe another one can be as well.

13. Between losing Demandred and the appearance of the Heroes of the Horn, the Shadow are now the ones who are on the defensive, with some Trollocs breaking and trying to run away.

The mist of the Heroes forms near Mat and he feels a moment of worry, wondering if maybe someone on the side of the Shadow summoned them. Hawkwing rides up to Mat, and tells him, “Do take better care of what has been allotted you. Almost, I worried we would not be summoned for this fight.”

I know, right? The lack of urgency in the Mat-in-Ebou-Dar half of the book about actually getting him to Merrilor to blow the Horn was really frustrating to me too!

When Mat confirms that this mean they’re fighting for the Light, Hawkwing tells him, “We would never fight for the Shadow.” The rumors about the Horn are wrong -- I feel like we learned this back in TGH as well but, you know, Mat was dying at the time, so I don’t blame him for not remembering.

Yeah, here’s the line: “We have come to the Horn, but we must follow the banner. And the Dragon.” So it was Rand, Perrin, and Mat who learned that. But, like I said, I don’t blame Mat for not remembering.

14. Hawkwing and Amaresu both scold Mat for not showing Rand enough appreciation for saving his life. Honestly, so fair and legit for Mat to finally be on the other end of a scolding like that. “I have seen you murmur that you fear his madness but all the while you forget that every breath you breathe - every step you take - comes at his forbearance. Your life is a gift from the Dragon Reborn, Gambler. Twice over.”

Mat feels so scolded. As he deserves.

He’s told that they can fight here because they have Rand’s banner and because Rand is... technically sort-of kind-of leading them... from a distance.

Amazingly, Mat takes a moment out of this encounter to marvel at how pretty one of the heroes is and then Remind Himself again that he’s married. He really does have to keep Reminding Himself. One of these days, he’s not going to remember to Remind Himself until after he’s already slept with someone else. It’s been more subtle in this book than in ToM, but Mat is still constantly checking out Every Other Lady around him.

15. Olver gets dug out of his hole by Trollocs but Noal, now one of the Heroes, arrives to save him. I don’t care about Noal, and Jordan definitely didn’t do enough to build up their relationship in CoT & KoD, but I still got a little misty at the tiny orphan child feeling grateful that one of the people who ‘abandoned’ him has finally come back.

16. haha, this next chapter is called ‘wolfbrother’ so I guess that Perrin is finally gonna wake up. But first, we have Elayne!

She’s able to wriggle lose enough to make the medallion copy shift away from her skin and fall to the ground, and now she can embrace saidar again. Elayne apologizes to Birgitte but Birgitte laughs it off, “Why do you mourn, Elayne? I have it all back! My memory has returned. It is wonderful! I don’t know how you stood me these last few weeks. I moped worse than a child who’d just broken her favorite toy.” Ah, yeah, that confirms that Birgitte’s spiral into bitterness was not meant to be a reflection of Elayne but on the dark place that Birgitte was in, with her loss of memories, I think. But it’s a shame that it feels like parts of the fandom just took Birgitte’s unrelated bitterness as a reason to slam on Elayne more. My girl gets so much undeserved hate.

And Elayne and Birgitte will ride back into the battle together. Not as Aes Sedai and Warder, but as friends. 😍 😍 😍 😍

17. Aviendha! I’ve missed you! Her timeline isn’t advancing as quickly as it has been for those further away from Shayol Ghul, so not as much as happened here in the valley. She can feel the channeling inside the Pit of Doom - “a quiet pulse”. Oh! The wolfbrother of the chapter’s title is actually Elyas, who Aviendha runs across now. The Darkhound Wild Hunt is happening, and hundreds of wolves have come to fight back against them.

Aviendha is about to go fetch channelers to help bring down the Darkhounds, when she spies Graendal a bit higher on the slope, with some Turned channelers, and Aiel guards under compulsion. Aviendha alerts her companions (Amys & Cadsuane) and then begins the fight against Graendal.

18. Elayne has a sword again. Where is she getting these swords? I’m just gonna assume it’s made out of Air or something. More useful than the sword, Elayne creates a banner with the Power, the red lion of Andor, lighting up the night.

19. [Mat] remembered, within those memories that were not his, leading forces far grander. Armies that were not fragmented, half-trained, wounded and exhausted. But Light help him, he had never been so proud.

...

This was the moment he had been seeking. It was the card upon which to bet everything he had. Ten to one odds, still, but the Sharan army, the Trollocs and the Fades had no head. No general to guide them.

...

Elayne’s death had been a lie. Her troops had been in disarray - they had lost more than a third of their soldiers - but just as they were about to be routed by the Trollocs, she rode into their midst and rallied them.

20. Catching up with Moggy! Hi, Moghedien. I bet your Last Battle is going pretty shitty. She kicks Demandred’s abandoned corpse. Oh, his devoted Shendla just left his body there to rot? Yikes. For Moghedien, she discovers that now that so many of the Chosen have been killed off, TDO is ready to let her have a taste of that sweet sweet True Power.

She disguises herself as Demandred and heads to the Sharan forces. I have to admit, given how open Min has been about her Talents, it’s kinda astonishing that Moghedien doesn’t know about her viewings. Min will tell anyone who stands still for five seconds, plus Tuon announced her as a Doomseer and has been plumping her up for the past whatever-number of chapters.

Moghedien starts to gear up for her role as Fake Demandred...

...and then she gets a blast of cannon/dragon-fire in her face from the Band’s part of Mat’s plan.

21. Instead of the Band leaving their caves to fight; channelers are opening them up brief windows to shoot through. Aludra is placed up on a high location with a spy-glass, giving orders to the channelers for the next locations for the booms. Honestly very clever.

22. As Aviendha fights in the valley, plants grow to cover her passage.

They had come right when she had needed them to hide her approach. Happenstance? She chose to believe otherwise. She could feel [Rand], in the back of her mind. He fought, a true warrior. His battle lent her strength, and she tried to return the same.

Determination. Honor. Glory. Fight on, shade of my heart. Fight on.

😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍

23. Aviendha kills a Compelled attacker, only realizing it’s Rhuarc after she has struck the fatal blow. She kills him moments before he would have killed her, and only her shoulder gets injured.

She does her best to convince herself that she only killed a shell. That Rhuarc was already dead.

There is a burst of determination from Rand (Strength, Aviendha) and her fatigue leaves her, and she refocuses on the fight.

24. Aviendha studies Graendal and decides on her approach -- she creates a spear made out of fire and light, and some other weaves in reserve -- and charges for Graendal. See, this makes a lot more sense that Elayne randomly having a sword, because this is a weapon and Aviendha knows and has trained in most of her life. I think that Sanderson Just Likes Swords tbh.

I really love the description here because of how it brings back Aviendha’s Maiden roots as she launches her attack on Graendal. The ground explodes underneath her (her legs get pretty destroyed, it sounds like), but she’s leaping up already aimed like a spear herself, and she sinks the spear into Graendal’s side just as Graendal is using the True Power to Travel... and because they’re touching, she goes along with Graendal when she Travels.

25. Mat rides with the Heroes of the Horn. He gets them to confirm that he isn’t one of them. He can see Elayne from where he is.

Mat saw Elayne’s banner glowing above them in the sky, crafted of the One Power, and caught a glimpse of someone who looked like her riding among the soldiers, hair glowing as if lit from behind her. She seemed a bloody Hero of the Horn herself.

26. And then the great battle is over, at least here on the battlefield.

He would have to thank Tuon for returning. He did not go looking for her, though. He had a feeling she would expect him to perform his princely duties, whatever they might be.

Hmm.

27. He does feel that tugging. Rand needs him. He tries to convince himself that this was his part, out here, and whatever is going on where Rand is... that’s Rand’s business. The dice are still tumbling in his head. This part here manages to capture Mat’s double-think in a way that I didn’t feel like came across in the actual chapter when we had the Rand & Mat reunion.

After trying to talk himself out of it, Mat ends up saying that he’s a fool because “I need to go to Rand.”

As a parting note, he asks Hawkwing to go have a conversation with “their Empress” (Tuon), and hmm, interesting. Okay, I need to break this down a bit.

So, one of the things that gave Tuon the big jollies back in the negotiation chapter with Rand was Mat referring to the Seanchan forces as “our forces”, which she basically interpreted as “haha you’re mine now, no take-backs”. And here, he does not call the Seanchan empress “my” Empress. He says she’s “their” Empress. The Empress of the Seanchan, who he is not currently identifying with, it would seem. So. That’s interesting.

We don’t get to see the conversation between Hawkwing and Tuon, of course, but what would Mat assume about what Hawkwing would tell Tuon? Why would Mat send Hawkwing to talk to her? The Heroes of the Horn follow Rand, pretty explicitly. They literally just recently scolded Mat for not appreciating Rand enough. They are aware of current events in the world and of the Seanchan Empire.

Which is to say... of course, Mat is assuming that Hawkwing will try to set Tuon straight on how to be an Empress without abusing millions of people under her power. Hawkwing told him that they would never fight for the Shadow. I think it’s reasonable for Mat to assume that he would disapprove of slavery. And Hawkwing’s hatred of Aes Sedai in his lifetime was canonically influenced by Ishamael, if I recall correctly, so the idea that Ishamael’s corruption is still influencing him in his Horn-form just seems like kinda silly to me. So. That’s my stance on that. Mat has clearly stated in recent chapters that he disapproves of the damane system, in particular, and that he wants to influence Tuon to soften her stance on Aes Sedai. So we know what Mat’s motivations are in sending Hawkwing off to talk to her. And it kinda fits Mat’s pattern of trying to use other people to influence Tuon to be less awful.

28. Rand has thought about Mat often, here in the battle with TDO. He thinks of him again -- Beneath them, on the battlefield, the Trollocs had fallen, beaten by a young gambler from the Two Rivers.

29. Oh, hey, Perrin just woke up. Page 853. He went to sleep on page 670. Nice long nap. Missed... a lot of stuff.

He learns that the battle at Merrilor has been won, but the battle at Thakan’dar, outside of Shayol Ghul, rages on. He gets his exhaustion washed away by one of the Aes Sedai and goes physically back into TAR (where he left Gaul to guard the cave where Rand fights).

30. In the waking world, Thom is the one guarding that cave entrance and he ponders the various ways that the ending of the world can be turned into a song, once this is all over.

31. Mat goes to Grady and tells him that he needs to be taken to Shayol Ghul. He’s brought Rand’s banner with him. Hanging out with Grady are Olver and Noal. The dice are still tumbling in Mat’s head. As far as I can tell, they haven’t stopped since Elayne asked him if he knew what he was doing.

Mat, on thinking about Noal/Jain becoming a Hero of the Horn:

Well, you wouldn’t find Mat trading places with him. Noal might enjoy it, but Mat wouldn’t dance at another man’s command. Not for immortality itself, no he wouldn’t.

Another data point that I’m placing into the pile.

Grady says that Traveling is wonky in that direction. Can’t be done.

Mat won’t accept that as an answer, and he gets Grady to take him (and Olver) as close as they can get -- a Seanchan scouting camp, a day away.

32. lol, we get a tiny glimpse into Fain the mist god-demon here. This just feels so anti-climatic, to still have Fain around at a time like this. Anyway, he’s basically a walking Shadar Logoth at this point. Fain kinda suffers from the same issues as Slayer, in that it feels like he’s a villain that the story grew past and yet he hung around anyway.

33. Gaul has been standing alone against Slayer all this time in TAR, fighting against him and protecting Rand, on his own, while Perrin was taking his restorative nap. But now Perrin is back to help. On the plus side, because of the time dilation stuff, only two hours has passed for Gaul in here.

34. Since he couldn’t take a gateway to Shayol Ghul, Mat is going by dragon to’raken. And, yes, Mat takes time out of his terror at being up so high to notice how pretty the morat’to’raken is, even as he thinks that anyone willing to do this must be “completely insane”. Olver, who is riding with them, is having a great time, though.

From up high, Mat sees a mist covering the valley below and gets a tingling that tells him... it’s about Fain and the dagger.

35. Then their to’raken gets hit by arrows, killing the rider or knocking her out. Mat undoes his straps and climbs over to take the to’raken’s reins. So he’s... he’s riding the closest thing that this world has to a dragon. Subtext, fun for the whole family.

He does his best to give them a gentle landing. It is not terribly gentle.

36. In the aftermath of the crash, Mat thinks that kidnapping Tuon (aka marrying her) is the worst decision that he’s ever made. Hmm. And this is after she ‘returned’ to the battlefield per their plan.

“That,” [Mat] finally groaned, “is the worst bloody idea I’ve ever had.” He hesitated. “Maybe the second worst.” He had decided to kidnap Tuon, after all.

And he doesn’t undercut that thought with any kind of caveat. He just lets it stand as he moves on to the next thing. Another interesting data point.

37. Mat literally panics when he realizes that Rand’s banner has gone missing during their dragon to’raken flight. Why does it seem like Sanderson is so much better at writing Cauthor-related scenes when Mat and Rand are separated from each other?

Olver points out that the swirling clouds above them are forming Rand’s sign, and then he blows the Horn again, for good measure.

38. Rand breaks out of his frozen battle with TDO and re-enters his own body. “From his watching of the Pattern, he knew that although only minutes had passed here since he’d entered, in the valley outside this cavern, days had passed, and farther out into the world, it had been much longer.”

He points Callandor at Moridin, and Moridin promptly throws a knife at Alanna.

Broke back to consciousness by Nynaeve’s herbs, Alanna pulls herself together long enough to release the bond she forced on Rand before she dies.

...I kinda feel the need to point out that Moiraine has done nothing but be a battery for Rand since she entered the cave with him.

I also feel bad for Alanna, who really disappeared from the story once Min was bonded to Rand and could take over as Cadsuane’s Rand mood-ring, and now is only here so that she can die. I have extremely large beef against Alanna for forcibly bonding Rand but it feels like the story really should have used that beat even more than it did, rather than it disappearing after WH.

39. Perrin kills Slayer. Finally. And then he pulls back out of TAR and is “on the rocks in the valley of Thakan’dar”, near where the Aiel are gathered.

40. Mat leaves Olver with the Heroes and meets up with Perrin at the mouth of the cave. So, yes, Mat and Perrin get another reunion. Why does Perrin! Get all the reunions! This is what I was talking about when I said how annoyed I was that Mat thinking about Rand tugging on him wouldn’t end up with any good payoff. All we get is yet another Mat and Perrin reunion.

That Rand is literally inside that cave and yet the three ta’veren do not reunite here is honestly somewhat infuriating for me. Genuinely those two things: the Emond’s Five reunite and the ta’veren three reunite should have been at the TOP of Sanderson’s priority list! There is a lot that I have enjoyed about AMoL but there are just way too many important emotional moments that were either skipped or didn’t happen at all but should have happened.

And, fuck, letting Mat and Rand have a scene that doesn’t take place during Mat’s weird Ebou Dar adventure. That would have been nice! Once Mat decides that he’s not going to be a lapdog for the Seanchan/Tuon anymore, his storyline and his PoV get so much better and so much more enjoyable and I am just... eternal bitterness that our only Mat & Rand reunion was plopped into our most lapdoggy-Mat era.

Mat came here specifically to protect Rand and then he never sees him! That is just fucking awful. They deserved a better reunion. What was the point of having the Heroes scold Mat if we didn’t actually get to see Mat and Rand interact again after it? This is kinda a place where the epilogue is mostly at fault -- Mat just strolling off to plan a fireworks show for Tuon post-Last Battle conflicts pretty hard with him spending time with his dying best friend, tonally-speaking -- but that really just makes it all the more frustrating that the only Cauthor reunion took place when Mat was in his worst Seanchan-era.

41. Aviendha attacks Graendal with an exploding gateway; and Mat kills Fain/Mordeth/etc.

And Perrin almost takes off to go searching for Faile but manages to resist the urge: If Rand died, then he would lose Faile. And everything else.

Yes. I have tried to yell this at the fictional characters so many times: if the world dies, then so does your sweetheart! It’s nice that Perrin finally listened.

42. And for his final trick, Moridin grabs Callandor, and Moiraine and Nynaeve spring their trap, using the flaw in Callandor to take control of the ‘circle’ that Moridin has accidentally formed with them. With Moridin having pulled the True Power, Rand is now able to enter the link, and Moiraine and Nynaeve can feed him all three sets of Power: saidar, saidin, and the True Power. Light explodes from him, and from Shayol Ghul, as Rand uses the True Power to protect himself as he reaches through the Bore and grabs onto the Dark One.

43. We get a quick beat of people reacting to the light:

Elayne is on the battlefield of Merrilor, as they search for the living among the dead. She feels the “swelling of power in Rand” and her attention focuses on him.

Thom shields his eyes as the light bursts from the entrance to the Pit of Doom.

Min appears to have managed to get away from the Seanchan for now, changing linens for the wounded, perhaps also on the Field of Merrilor.

Aviendha is drawn back from the darkness of near-death by the light and the warmth of Rand inside her, and realizes that her explosion twisted the compulsion weave so that Graendal compelled herself to worship Aviendha. Awkward!

Logain sees the light and knows that it’s what was meant by the message that Egwene sent, and he breaks the seals on the Dark One’s prison.

44. In TAR, Perrin runs across Lanfear. Together, they walk into Shayol Ghul, and we learn that she apparently compelled Perrin a little while ago? He’s able to pull out of it by reminding himself of his duty and of Faile, and he snaps her neck, killing her.

*squints at the scene*

Yeah, I mean. That’s certainly still what looks like happened? Sorry, Sanderson, I’m not seeing your hints here about Lanfear tricking Perrin and surviving.

45. Rand holds the Dark One in his hand. Or the representation of his hand. And, once again, when Rand tells TDO how pitiful he is, all I see are echoes of the Seanchan:

You would have enslaved me as you would have enslaved the others. You cannot give oblivion. Rest is not yours. Only torment.

Rand can feel himself dying, his life blood slipping away. Realizing that the world that he’d seen without the Dark One would have been the truth, he knows that he cannot kill it. So he thrusts TDO back into his prison, braids saidar and saidin together to reforge a new shield onto the Bore.

With this new form of the Power, Rand pulled together the rent that had been made here long ago by foolish men.

He understood, finally, that the Dark One was not the enemy.

It never had been.

(because it only reflected the evil that people were already capable of)

46. The black hole inside the cave expands, as Moiraine and Nynaeve run for the safety of the cave entrance.

47. And now we are at the epilogue.

Much like I did with The Last Battle chapter, I’ll take the epilogue in sections by character. Rand & co will go last, this time.

Perrin

The spirits of the dead wolves fade back into the dream. Perrin voluntarily worries about Rand? Wow, that feels kinda out of character for Perrin, who has always been way better at pushing away thoughts of Rand than Mat has been, but I guess let’s go with it. It seems to exist to tell us that Perrin no longer sees color swirls and no longer feels any tugging towards anything. “Those seemed like very bad signs.”

“Have you sent for the three?”

What a weird way to ask “do Rand’s girlfriends know that he’s dying?”

I’m going to take a minute and count up the PoV & page counts everyone gets in the epilogue.

Rand: 3 PoVs (4 pages total)

Mat: 2 PoVs (1 1/5 pages)

Perrin: 3 PoVs (6 1/5 pages)

Loial: 1 PoV (3 pages)

Moghedien: 1 PoV (1 page)

Nynaeve: 1 PoV (2 pages)

Birgitte: 1 PoV (1 page)

Tam: 1 PoV (1 page)

Min: 1 PoV (1/2 page)

Cadsuane: 1 PoV (1 page)

That’s a lot of Perrin, comparatively-speaking.

Anyway, Perrin finds Faile, happy ending, etc.

...oh, I just looked it up and Sanderson answered some questions about the epilogue (tor[dot]com/2013/01/23/brandon-sandersons-wheel-of-time-answers-from-torchat/)! He added Perrin’s and Loial’s scene(s). Ha! I knew that Loial was a Sanderson addition because he uses “Matrim” instead of Mat (that is, imo, by far the easiest ‘tell’ of a Sanderson scene -- someone using ‘Matrim’ when they normally wouldn’t). And the Perrin scenes make sense too because it really builds off of and finishes the narrative thread that was at play earlier in the book for Perrin, which was presumably all written by Sanderson.

Mat

Mat strolls away from the aftermath of having killed Padan Fain, calling the dagger “a gamble I don’t want to touch”. The dice stop rolling in Mat’s head after he decides not to pick up the dagger. Hmm. Mat avoiding becoming the new Fain for the Fourth Age?

After that, we skip to his scene with Tuon. And there are only those two scenes with Mat in the epilogue -- killing Fain and finding out that he’s been baby-trapped into the Seanchan Empire. Though Perrin confirms in his own PoV scenes that he no longer gets the swirls or the tugging, we don’t get the same kind of confirmation in Mat’s (very short) scenes.

I will say that there is more subtlety in Mat’s ending here than I had remembered -- I was extremely unhappy about his ending but this marriage is pretty troubled already in the text, and so it’s not really the book that tries to pretend this is a happy “babies ever after” ending for Mat; I feel like that’s maybe more of a vibe that I got from fans at the time, rather than from the text. There are a lot of “male power fantasy” fans who just really like that Mat ends up married to an Empress and commanding vast armies, I think, at least from what I’ve seen around the internet (and especially back when the series was originally published).

And Mat specifically forces a grin at the news that Fortuona is pregnant, so he’s not genuinely happy about it (and we got things in recent chapters like Mat thinking that kidnapping Tuon was the worst idea he’d ever had).

But, honestly, I do still hate that it happens. I hate it up one side and down the other. It sucks as an ending for Mat so much. Miserable marriage, awful wife, horrible shackles tying him to a terrible fascist empire built on slavery.

That being said... just Tuon’s rule is incredibly fragile, this marriage is also incredibly fragile (which is probably why Jordan slapped a baby in there to begin with -- otherwise, given his general misery level in many of the Seanchan-related scenes, it’s difficult to see how Mat could bring himself to stick with Tuon for long enough to do whatever plot-related things Jordan was imagining would have happened in the outriggers -- the baby is a trap for Mat, not from Tuon but from Jordan).

There are still so many things about the Seanchan that could end up being deal-breakers for Mat if he finds out about them!

(ex. Bodewhin Cauthon is never mentioned in the books after Knife of Dreams, so it is entirely possible that she is among the new damane who were taken by the Seanchan in recent days, and Mat might end up seeing his sister with a collar around her neck post-canon. How would he react to that? And to Tuon’s unwillingness to let her go?)

In addition to Mat potentially seeing people he knows and cares about in collars, we also have the possibility of him learning just how brutal Tuon’s attack against the White Tower was (there isn’t any indication that he knows about the attack at all yet); or Talmanes telling him about Verin’s letter and Mat realizing how damaging his fear of Aes Sedai has been for the world; or further in the future there’s Mat’s potential reaction to the lethal political wrangling that Imperial heirs are meant to get up to (he was disturbed enough that Galgan liking him only means that subpar assassins will be sent against him -- when he realizes that Tuon might well encourage their own kids to kill each other to win her favor, it’s very hard to see him brushing that off). Plus he’s regained his sense of disgust over the damane system. So there are a lot of powderkegs waiting to be blown sky-high for Mat, post-canon.

idk, Mat’s storyline is maybe the one where I most have to untangle whether I dislike it more because I feel like it was executed poorly or if I dislike it because it sets up a situation that will never get resolution. And how connected are those things?

A big frustration that I’ve had with how Jordan and then Sanderson handled Mat’s storyline over the course of the last few books of the series was how many shortcuts were taken with his character and how artificial forcing him into the Seanchans’ arms has felt to me.

a. Mat getting trapped in Ebou Dar and then all the characters involved taking a vow of silence when it came to telling Rand about it. Mat getting trapped in Ebou Dar is plot nonsense: relatively forgivable. But having multiple characters being given the opportunity to change that situation and just... not bothering to do it is... that’s a characterization issue. It severely impacted my feelings about Nynaeve for Jordan to turn her into the kind of person who just doesn’t bother to tell Rand that his best friend was left behind in that kind of perilous situation. Plot manipulations... that’s just how the plot works. But over and over, characters got broken or bent for the purpose of jamming Mat into the Seanchan storyline.

b. Setalle Anan is a minor character, so I get why people don’t care about her, but she’s a character who pretty much completely reverses her characterization between WH & CoT (in WH, she is anti-slavery and finds Mat charming and trustworthy; in CoT & KoD, she protects and waits on Tuon while treating Mat like the dangerous one, including betraying Mat’s secrets to Tuon -- and her betrayals are never acknowledged by the text in any way; she just keeps on being treated as if she’s a friendly supporting character) and, from what I could see, it’s just so obviously done in order to protect Tuon from ever having even a sliver of character growth rather than it making sense for Setalle Anan’s character.

c. We keep tiptoeing up to the brink of Actually Having A Plot Happen with the Seanchan and then backing away at the last minute without really having a good reason to do it. Incredibly frustrating. This was one of my main annoyances with CoT & KoD. And in AMoL, both Rand and Egwene inexplicably back down when they have Tuon on the ropes and off-balance.

d. Mat’s teleportation to Ebou Dar in-between Towers of Midnight and A Memory of Light. I’ve talked about this one a lot but yeah. It’s just... really bad? I do suspect that Sanderson couldn’t figure out any way to actually make it believable that Mat would go to the Seanchan and that’s why he had it all happen off-the-page. But the careless damage that it does to Mat’s characterization is just horrific. Mat gets ripped out of the action of the first third of the book, and doesn’t get to the Last Battle itself until the book is more than half over. Once Mat is actually engaging in the Last Battle, his characterization steadies a lot but especially those first four chapters with Mat, it feels like we’re only working with half of his characterization and the other half has vanished somewhere in-between ToM & AMoL.

(and if Mat hadn’t been cut-and-pasted from the Tower of Ghenjei over to Ebou Dar, then we would have had a full reunion at Merrilor. So I’m annoyed/bitter about that too)

I could keep going but... let’s keep it at four issues for right now so that we’re not here all day, lol.

All of those issues are problems that I had with the execution of the storyline.

I am not inherently opposed to depressing endings for characters that I love but... it has to be done well. It has to make sense. And Mat’s ending just... required cutting away too many parts of him (and other characters) for it to make sense to me.

But though it is not always handled well (to put it mildly), Mat’s storyline with Tuon (and Tylin before her) is an example of the ‘typical gender roles are swapped’ done in a way that is more down to the very core of his storyline than a lot of other storylines, which are more on the surface.

He’s much less politically powerful than his spouse and needs to use guile, intrigue, and manipulation to get his way and try to persuade her to a gentler and kinder path than her warlike nature naturally aligns towards.

He undergoes something of a gender-swapped version of “The Taming of the Shrew” storyline, in which a fiercely independent person gets coerced/’tamed’ into being a properly submissive spouse (or, depending on your interpretation, into pretending to be one) -- many of the tricks that Tuon and Tylin use are similar to what Petruchio does to Katherine in the play. Mat gets publicly humiliated and starved by Tylin into submitting to her (which is what Petruchio does to Katherine during/after their wedding), and isolated away from his past connections during his time with Tuon, where he constantly has to act to try to figure out how to appease her without provoking her temper (Petruchio compares taming Katherine to falcon-taming, but Tuon would probably compare it to horse-training or damane-breaking), and Petruchio changes her name from ‘Katherine’ to ‘Kate’, which fits pretty well with Tuon’s insistence on never once calling Mat ‘Mat’.

Plus Mat getting his name changed to indicate that he now ‘belongs’ to Tuon’s people fits into this general category -- and historically, in the culture that Jordan belonged to, that’s normally a role given to women, to be given a new name that shows that they are now of their husband’s people and not their father’s; it’s usually their last name but, in the not too-distant past (and maybe currently in some places as well, idk), at least in the USA, women were often referred to as Mrs. “husband’s first name” “husband’s last name” with none of their own name making it into the address.

But a lot of the issues that I have with how this was written is that it felt like Mat was behaving like his hand was forced even when it wasn’t. Which is definitely a writing issue -- it’s a similar issue to the one that I have with the Rand & Min romance, for example, where Min desperately chases after something even though she doesn’t really want it at the start. Prophecy gets used as a way to skip actually writing important character or relationship beats, instead of prophecy being one of many tools in the writer’s kit.

So, yeah, it really is the execution of the storyline that is the biggest problem for me with Mat & Tuon, and the way it feels like he is pulled away from his other attachments whether or not that makes any narrative or character sense.

I really hope that the show does better with them, and with Mat in his endgame (should we get there, etc.).

I will say that I do think that Sanderson handled the romance better than Jordan did; the main problem was that it was already fundamentally broken by how the relationship was written in CoT & KoD, imo (the KoD collaring chapter in particular made me despise them as a pairing and my feelings never recovered from that moment). But in Sanderson’s books, we actually see the effects of Tuon compromising with Mat during various points of the Last Battle (though we see don’t actually see their private discussions and/or arguments that lead to those compromises), and there’s always a throughline showing how miserable the Seanchan lifestyle is for Mat, and those are two things that were majorly missing from CoT & KoD for me, but that make sense as the only way to make the romance even half-believable for Mat’s pre-established characterization from WH and earlier.

The three big issues that I have with Sanderson’s Mat are: the terrible first chapter of TGS (with the gross sexism); the terrible first chapter of AMoL (now featuring inexplicable teleportation); and the deep deep disservice done to Mat and Rand’s friendship (Rand got a personal goodbye with EVERYONE important to him EXCEPT Mat! And Mat got a personal reunion with everyone important to him, except Rand! All they got was the negotiation scene that was ultimately all about Fortuona and the Seanchan treaty, with Mat and Rand’s friendship being the set dressing around the scene).

But the relationship with Tuon honestly... makes a lot more sense in this book than it did in CoT & KoD (once we work past the brain-breaking logistics of the first chapter or so). There are TONS of hints that Mat has uncomfortable vibes going on underneath his casual exterior, plus Tuon actually does make some attempts at compromising with him, and if the well hadn’t been poisoned by how much I despised CoT/KoD-era Mat & Tuon then... I might have had a chance at enjoying AMoL-era Mat & Tuon for the toxic trainwreck that it is.

But, like all the characters & relationships in AMoL, we skip some pretty big moments in the Mat & Tuon relationship -- we see the effects of them compromising but we never actually see them coming to that compromise in private, which I feel like we needed after how unyielding and frankly how annoying Jordan made Tuon about everything.

We do end up with a Mat & a ‘Fortuona’ who remain at cross-purposes -- Mat continues to think of and refer to her as ‘Tuon’ while Fortuona has kinda reversed from thinking of him as a ‘buffoon’ to instead believing that he has the same kind of practical motivations behind his choices that she does, which is also not accurate. But Sanderson did add in some actual give-and-take to their relationship, which Jordan never seemed willing to do, so the AMoL-era Mat & Tuon is a lot more genuinely engaging for me, even if I do still think that they are one of the most obviously doomed fictional marriages that I have ever seen.

Final Mat-related question for the moment: the Seanchan Empire is based on authoritarian governments throughout history, so does how the Seanchan Empire operates mimic the behavior of a cult?

The popular model for cults is the BITE model, which was developed by a man who was deprogrammed from the Moon cult in 1976 (Steve Hassan). It’s an acronym:

Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion control. BITE.

Do the Seanchan seek to control people’s behavior? (yes) Do they seek to control the flow of information that the people under them learn? (yes) Do they seek to have their members reject critical thought and only apply to the group-think? (yes) Do they manipulate the emotions of their followers, usually instilling fear or paranoia about outsiders? (yes)

We know from earlier books that the Seanchan culture =/= the Seanchan Empire. There are constant civil wars and uprisings in their native land. This is explicitly why they are such good soldiers, because they are always fighting each other. Yet they present themselves as a monolith when they come to the Westlands, bragging about how they’re here to bring ‘order’ to a lawless continent. What they say about themselves does not match the truth of what else we know about them.

How does the Seanchan Empire exercise its control over its people? Everything I included here is something I think we’ve see the Empire do, but I did bold ones that are particularly blatant in the text.

Behavior control: Control types of clothing and hairstyles; permission required for major decisions; rewards and punishments used to modify behaviors both positive and negative; discourage individualism; encourage group-think; impose rigid rules and regulations; punish disobedience by beating, torture, burning, cutting, rape, or tattooing/branding; threaten harm to family and friends; encourage and engage in corporal punishment; instill dependency and obedience; kidnapping; beating; torture; murder

Information control: Distort information to make it more acceptable; systematically lie to the cult members; minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of information; ensure that information is not freely accessible; control information at different levels and missions within group; allow only leadership to decide who needs to know what and when; encourage spying on other members; impose a buddy system to monitor and control member; report deviant thoughts, feelings, and actions to leadership; ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group; extensive use of cult-generated propaganda

Thought control: require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth; adopting the group’s ‘map of reality’ as reality; instill black and white thinking; organize people into us vs them; change person’s name and identity; use of loaded language and cliches which constrict knowledge; encourage only ‘good and proper’ thoughts; thought-stopping techniques to shut down reality testing: denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking; rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive criticism; forbid critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy; labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate, evil, or not useful

Emotion control: teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt; make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault; promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness; instill fear, such as fear of: thinking independently, the outside world, leaving or being shunned by the group; ritualistic and sometimes public confessions of sins; phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority, no happiness or fulfillment possible outside of group; shunning of those who leave; being told there is never a legitimate reason to leave.

“Destructive mind control can be determined when the overall effect of these four components promotes dependency and obedience to some leader or cause; it is not necessary for every single item on the list to be present.“ (in this case, that would be to the Empress, ~may she live forever~)

(all taken from freedomofmind(dot)com -- not linking because sometimes outside links make tumblr act weird about posts)

On the page, we witness the slow process of Leilwin née Egeanin pulling away and deprogramming from the Seanchan Empire, and then in this book, it feels like Mat has begun that process as well. And it feels like they started the same way -- because of a massive overreach by Tuon, the leader of the cult/Empire. Leilwin née Egeanin gets humiliated and punished by Tuon for no reason; just because Tuon felt like being a brat that day, and that moment of humiliation -- the re-naming and the forcing of the jewelry on her in a way that treated her like a slave -- was really what made Leilwin née Egeanin start to pull away from the other Seanchan and go into the path that eventually led to her being, however briefly, Egwene’s Warder.

For Mat, it really seems like whatever happened in that ‘not pleasant’ discussion that he and Tuon had after she berated him for, essentially, prioritizing Egwene’s privacy over Tuon’s desire to get information from him... that discussion (that we didn’t get to see) really seemed to lead to the more combative Mat who refused to back down and roll over for her. Mat still feels a level of protectiveness and affection for Tuon through the rest of the book but he stops letting her push him around and he starts acting like he cares about doing something about the slavery system in the Seanchan Empire again, which was a part of him that we lost at the start of CoT and I have hated so much that we lost in his character. But it slowly grows back over the course of the second half of AMoL.

Again, my big regret here is that the Mat & Rand reunion happened before Mat started his spine regrowth program. Even though Mat does start to push back on Tuon more here, he still never finished several of his character arcs that were set up over the course of the entire series: namely his own mistrust of Aes Sedai and his fear of Rand as a channeler. Both of those fears were things that he was actively working in the text and that he abruptly backtracked on when Tuon was introduced into his life (because being chill with channelers and being chill with people who enslave channelers is contradictory and so Jordan decided... to go with being chill with slavers). So those are two flapping loose ends for his character at the end of this series that never got to fully be addressed because the ‘romance’ was prioritized over Mat’s characterization.

Loial

Loial is looking for people to help him with accounts for his book and “Perrin ignored me and Mat cannot be found”.

Mat just completely disappearing from the Westlands side of things to go set up a fireworks show for Tuon (and asking Aludra to be the one to set it up, which just seems kinda mean, considering that the Seanchan pretty much completely eliminated the Illuminators) is just... frustrating. Apparently Mat visited the battlefield here “smiling and healthy” but then vanished. So, in theory, there’s an empty place here where Mat might have visited Rand and talked to Elayne & co one last time, since Rand is in the main healing tent on this battlefield.

Loial also notes how odd it is that Elayne and Min don’t seem to feel any urge to go in to hold Rand’s hand while he’s dying (Aviendha is getting her legs looked at). I know, Loial! They’re the worst fake-grievers who ever lived, I swear. If the whole point is to trick people into thinking Rand is dead, then it might be a good idea to... actually try to trick people?

Moghedien

In which Tuon’s people are already breaking the terms of the treaty by snatching up channelers from the battlefield at Merrilor. No hundred years of peace, Rand. I’m sorry.

Rand (& all those who say ‘goodbye’ to him, or who don’t)

Rand leaves the mountain, slipping on his own blood and carrying a body. Shayol Ghul is trying to close before he can leave and he only barely makes it out in time before the cave snaps shut behind him.

Moiraine tells Rand that he did well, and Nynaeve tries desperately to keep him alive, but eventually, and without ever waking back up, ‘Rand’ dies.

Elayne, Aviendha, and Min do the absolute worst job of playing grieving widows ever. Like, if Rand had actually died, I could understand this better. Because they might really be in shock. But they know he’s alive! And their whole job is to convince people that they absolutely believe that he’s dead! Just... pinch your arm until you start crying! This is literally the most suspicious way that they could have gone about things -- Nynaeve is already extremely suspicious of how they’re acting. Seriously, she’s gonna wiggle the truth out of them pretty much five seconds post-epilogue.

Birgitte comes to say goodbye to Elayne because she’s about to be reborn... and to mention that she’s tossed away the Horn of Valere. Sure hope that Elayne doesn’t regret that in ten years when they’re at war with the Seanchan!

Tam hopes that now his son can get some rest. My hope is that Rand will, you know, go and talk to his dad after he’s had a chance to recover from the stress and trauma of the Last Battle. Also, Tam... you’re gonna have grandkids. No thoughts on that, I see. Still no thoughts on that.

The funeral scene frustrates me to pieces.

Honestly, the most frustrating thing about the funeral scene is how easy it would have been to casually mention that Mat and Perrin were there? Like, that’s ONE SENTENCE. Just... the erasure of those years of friendship, because heterosexual marriage, in Jordan’s fictional world, meant that close male-male friendships just stopped existing. It’s depressing. That CADSUANE is considered to have more right to be at Rand’s funeral than his childhood friends who were also vital parts of the Last Battle. It’s insulting. And apparently Tam organized it? But he couldn’t be bothered to invite his kid’s best friends. Definitely a place where Sanderson should have done some editing of the original epilogue. One sentence is all that was needed.

*sigh*

I do think that Sanderson did try to set up why Mat wouldn’t have gone -- we have seen Mat, in several of his recent PoV scenes, swallowing his grief over losing people he loves and not letting it appear to affect him openly, even as it rocked him deeply, so Rand’s death would be another of those gut-punches that he would do his best to pretend didn’t happen. But, fuck... it just sucks that the friendship between Mat and Rand is such a sublimated thing in this last book, when Rand and Mat both got to much more openly deal with pretty much every other important relationship that they had (though I will note that Rand and Sulin never got a reunion either! Rude!).

Perrin didn’t get anything like that kind of subtextual explanation, but Perrin actually did visit Rand’s healing tent while he was dying, so at least he got that much. *shrugs*

Min thinking here about how the assembled people expect a ‘show’ of grief -- yes, they have all found it exceedingly odd that none of you appear to be grieving the man you said that you loved.

Rand wakes up in his new body, washed clean of the wounds that he’d taken over the course of the series. No more missing hand; no more agonizing pain in his side.

I have to admit “she left me some money” feels like a pretty anti-climatic way for Alivia to “help Rand die”? She wasn’t really involved in his “death” at all -- it was really Moiraine and Nynaeve who were the ones who ‘helped’ him die. I mean, any one of Min, Elayne, or Aviendha could have left him some money, since they all know he’s alive. I wonder if Jordan was originally thinking that Alivia would be the one joining Rand & Nynaeve for the cave journey, and it was Sanderson who decided that Moiraine would be more appropriate? Nothing distinctively Moiraine happens in that cave, not the way that Nynaeve was needed to be there to heal Alanna without using the Power. Like, this poor woman was harassed by Min for a handful of books because of that prophecy and all she did was leave Rand some money! Min better find her and apologize to her! (I already know that she won’t)

Haha, so confession: my brain edited out that new!Rand had lost saidin. My brain was just like “nope, of course he can still channel”. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Rand not being a channeler at the end of the story, so that part I’m not thrilled about. He does have his newfound ability to use the threads of reality to basically channel anyway, though. Or at least I assume that’s what the pipe scene is about.

And then his thought, too, about ‘which’ of the women will follow him - yeah, you’re right that thinking that means you’ve gotten a swollen head! They all have responsibilities! Though since Rand leaves so abruptly here, there’s a lot that he doesn’t know, and the two things that most affect this specific question are: the extent of Aviendha’s injuries and the extent of Min’s involvement with the Seanchan. Literally zero of them is in a position to go chasing after Rand, even if they wanted to! Rand is the one who has no obligations and can easily visit them if he wants (well, maybe not ‘easily’ if Min does end up in the Empire).

But I can still remember, wow, what a relief it was that he was alive at the end, and free and unbound. The rest can be... adjusted by post-canon theories.

In terms of ‘things that aren’t covered but that we can probably assume’:

It does look like Elayne ended up with all three of the medallion copies -- the one Mellar used on her, the one that was on Birgitte’s body, and the third was with Lan and she probably reclaimed it (there’s nothing to indicate that Mat spoke with Lan and got it back), so the slaver empress never gets that medallion that Mat wanted to give her back in ToM. Tragic.

Despite Elayne and Tam speaking frequently over the course of AMoL, they somehow never speak about the whole grandkids issue. I feel like we can assume that this happens at some point, post-epilogue? Elayne and Aviendha both seem like they would go back to Caemlyn to rebuild. And Tam doesn’t really have a reason to go back to the Two Rivers at this point, so I can see him ending in Caemlyn too because: grandkids.

Technically, Min has slipped the Seanchan net at this point and could just not go back if she wants, so she can either go back to the Seanchan or she could go to Caemlyn with Elayne & Aviendha, but if she does stay away from the Seanchan, Tuon is going to try to get her back. Unless she was super-turned off by Min actually standing up to her in front of all the Blood and hastily makes Selucia her Truthspeaker again. That’s another possibility.

Ah, since we were told earlier that Melaine was about ready to give birth and Birgitte tells Elayne that she’s about to be reborn: Melaine might be her mom. I feel like Birgitte being reborn as Aiel sounds kinda fun.

I feel like Rand would not actually enjoy traveling all on his own after a while, given what we know about him, so he would probably end up visiting Caemlyn. And given how suspicious Nynaeve already is in the epilogue, I’m going to guess that she knows the truth by the time Rand goes to Caemlyn.

If Mat decides to leave the Seanchan behind at any point, he will probably also go to Caemlyn, and Mat and Rand can finally have a good reunion.

All in all, there are things about the ending that don’t thrill me but there are also things I really like. And having an ending at all helps in terms of sparking the imagination for fanfiction or meta or... an Amazon Prime television series. I don’t think we would have ever gotten the series if the books had stayed unfinished.

The epilogue checklist (and my theories about how it affected AMoL)

So, while reading AMoL, it felt like Sanderson took a couple of shortcuts in order to bruteforce the characters into reaching their epilogue endpoints, because there simply wasn’t enough time for it to happen naturally. This is my list of things that I believe got shortchanged due to “writing to the epilogue”:

Fortuona is pregnant in the epilogue: at the start of AMoL, Mat gets teleported to Ebou Dar without any kind of narrative or logistical explanation (contradicting his PoV chapter in the ending of ToM, where he was planning to return to Caemlyn, which would have thrust him directly into the main stories at play in the prologue & early chapters). I feel like part of it is that Sanderson really wanted to get that bun in the oven as quickly as possible.

“they expected something from the three of them; a show of some kind” : There’s just a wide acknowledgement in the epilogue that literally everyone knows that Rand has three girlfriends, so everyone just already knows in AMoL that Rand is in a relationship with three women now. No need for anyone to have emotional reactions to it, please! (not even Rand’s literal dad!) This one also ends up being weird because it seems to change from moment-to-moment whether or not the whole army knows that Rand has three girlfriends (if everyone knows already, why is Rand playing spy games with Elayne?).

Min is Fortuona’s pregnancy test: Min instantly respects ~Fortuona~ as an empress even while thinking that she doesn’t normally respect nobility. Bizarre, considering Min’s own history with the Seanchan from Falme.

Mat kills Fain: we got two super-quick glimpses of Fain earlier in the book to set up this moment but Mat had so much other stuff to do that Sanderson couldn’t really do more than say: yeah, Fain exists and he’s bad, lol.

Minor elements I think were affect by the epilogue:

Rand is still pondering over the idea of choosing between Elayne, Aviendha, or Min: we get Rand’s going “am I allowed to love three women? idk sounds fake” when he and Aviendha sleep together in chapter 4, which just was kinda silly. I think the epilogue is also the genesis of the vibe where Rand appears to consider “having sex with Min for months” to not be any kind of “choice” when it comes to the three women, but having a romantic interlude with Aviendha or Elayne would signal a choice -- because the epilogue acts like the situation between Rand and each of the three women is roughly equal, so “months of sex with Min” appears to hold the same emotional weight to Rand as “pining from afar with two nights of intense passion” does when he thinks of either Elayne or Aviendha.

Mat has no thoughts about any of the Westlands characters: I think that this is more of a subconscious effect -- as he focused more on the final book, I think Sanderson focused on the relationships highlighted in the all-important epilogue... and the only person that Mat cares about in the epilogue is himself *cough* I mean, Fortuona, of course, lol. In both TGS and in ToM, Mat’s deep affection for various Westlands characters was constantly on display, as shown in his own ‘loves lying to himself’ way. This gets curtailed in AMoL, especially in the early Ebou Dar chapters.

I think I’m going to let myself might let myself marinate over the various books before I post a final list of my personal ranking of the books.

One thing that I’ve really noticed is that, more than any other character, the quality of Mat’s storyline has a huge impact on my overall enjoyment of the book. In CoT & KoD, Elayne and Egwene (both of whom I love), got pretty good stories. But Mat’s story was so bad that it made it difficult for me to enjoy the good parts. But maybe some time just letting myself think about the series as a whole will balance out my thoughts. Does that make Mat my favorite character or just my most impactful character? idk. I feel like Elayne or Rand would more consistently hit the top of my favorites.

Overall top five characters throughout the entire series:

1. Elayne

2. Rand

3. Egwene

4. Mat (might be higher if not for CoT & KoD)

5. Nynaeve (might be higher if she didn’t basically disappear after she married Lan)

Then, moving on to the next favs, I think there’s more uncertainty there for me:

6. Verin, probably, but it could be Moiraine. Let’s say they tie.

7. Aviendha and Siuan can both go here. Both generally very good and interesting characters.

8. You know, I had a real turnaround with Gawyn in this reread of the books; I’m gonna put him here. He can share this spot with Leilwin née Egeanin.

9. Loial, probably. Needed more PoV; that would have been nice. I’ll put Faile here with him.

10. For more minor characters, I gotta give a shout-out to Narishma (favorite Asha’man), Sulin, Pevara during her Black Ajah Hunter phase, Olver is really good in his sections here in AMoL, Asmodean for being my favorite fail-Forsaken and Moghedien for sticking it out until the very end, Elaida honestly very fun PoV as far as villains go, Teslyn and Joline for being troopers and enduring Mat Cauthon at his very worst, my girl Berelain who always deserved better, the ‘Finn in general always lots of fun, Aludra and Juilin who always kept their integrity intact.

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #wot amol spoilers #wot a memory of light spoilers #mat cauthon #rand al'thor #elayne trakand #so it really feels like the 'main characters' of the actual last battle #were rand mat egwene and elayne #with everyone else being more of a secondary character #who helped the one of those main four storylines #posting this today because ao3 is being slightly iffy right now #so i'm going to post the next chapter of voice on thursday #and just give ao3 some time to work out whatever the connection issues are

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chibrary · 1 year

Text

The Chrimer: 2015, F3.

Everyone loves a good rivalry.

Charles and Max's karting history could-- and probably will-- be their own primer, but for Charles' 2015 season only one part really matters: Max jumps from F3 to F1. This casts a long shadow on Charles as his childhood karting rival.

Charles spends most of the year getting asked about seeing Max compete at the highest level of motorsport, like in this segment from a South China Morning Post article about the 2015 Macau Grand Prix:

For his part, however, Leclerc is keeping the focus on what’s right in front of him, rather than on what the horizon might offer as he sets out to tackle the tricky Guia circuit for the first time, knowing, of course, the greats of racing who have gone out there before him and still with comparisons to former VAR – and current Formula One – star Max Verstappen ringing in his ears. “I am taking things step by step,” says Leclerc. “I want to arrive in Formula One when I am more than ready and Formula 3 is a good choice in that I can learn and develop. And I raced Max all through my karting years and we fought each other at the finish, so I have always had the comparisons with him and I am okay with them.”

The jump to F3 is a last minute surprise: Charles had originally been tipped for a full-time Eurocup spot. Eurocup would have been more of the Formula Renault 2.0 level of competition Charles had experienced the previous year; F3 was considered a promotion.

In an interview, Charles was asked why he decided on F3 instead of Eurocup:

"After the season of last year, my manager and I thought that it would be better to jump to F3! Firstly, there are 3 races per weekend and 11 weekends so we drive a lot and so we gain a lot of experience! Then loads of drivers were planning to do it! And I felt really good in the car and the tests went well."

Surprisingly, Charles picks to race for Dutch team Van Amersfoort in the FIA Formula 3 European Championship like Max did the previous year. He essentially steps into his former rival's spot, replacing Max as team leader and taking his former engineer. This was allegedly on Jos Verstappen's suggestion, but there isn't much reference to that connection out there that I could find.

This doesn't help the comparisons.

Formula Scout-- in their 2015 Driver Profile of Charles-- would write:

Leclerc marked himself out as a real prospect in karting – so much so he topped our 2012 ‘karters to watch‘ feature, ahead of Verstappen. But it’s never a foregone conclusion that a successful karter will make a successful car racer. [...] Those performances suggested he would be capable of stepping up to F3, particularly as his old rival Verstappen had made it look easy and didn’t have the benefit of a year of car racing experience. And so he has proven to be. It’s still early days, but Leclerc has so far been the class of a large crop of rookies and taken the fight to proven F3 winners with multiple years of experience already under their belt. His early performances are on a par with what last year’s star rookies Esteban Ocon and Verstappen were doing – in fact, his record of two wins and five podiums from the first six races replicates the 2014 champion’s start. If he keeps it up, he will deserve to be held in the same high esteem as them a few months down the line.

They would ultimately summarize Charles' future as so:

While he’s got plenty in common with his old karting rival and Van Amersfoort F3 predecessor Verstappen, a lesser reputation and sensible management mean he’s unlikely to be making the jump straight up to F1 next year. He will therefore need to sustain this impressive form into an intermediate category like GP2 in order to make the grade.

Even with the comparisons to Esteban and Max, Charles still appears to be able to joke with both at the beginning of the season.

This lightheartedness would be needed, especially when Max was the special F1 driver guest for one of Charles' podiums:

Charles would start the season strong. As a rookie, Charles would top the morning running at the pre-event test of the opening round weekend by nearly half a second.

In true Charles fashion, he's unable to take the W:

"A good day," said Leclerc at the end of the test, after reviewing the results and drawing conclusions. “We have learned a lot, both about the set-up for qualifying and for the race. However, this does not mean that I am automatically one of the leading drivers this weekend as well, testing and racing are two different things. But needless to say, it's my goal to do it."

He would bring this momentum into winning in Silverstone, Hockenheim, Spa-Francorchamps and Nuremberg. I find the races themselves a little dull to break down race-by-race, but if you're interested.. an anon has provided video of every race here.

Charles would explain that:

“We arrived at the first race quite confident but obviously there were still had doubts from some people who didn’t know me when I arrived for testing. We were really fast from the first race which was a bit of a surprise because I was a rookie among all these experienced drivers so they didn’t really expect me. But from another point of view we were prepared, we worked hard and after testing it wasn’t that much of a surprise for us, how we went. We were quite confident.”

However... Charles' season would become inconsistent after a crash in Zandvoort with Lance Stroll would damage his chassis in a way that could never be correctly repaired.

Jules would pass the next week.

Charles would only podium once more during the remaining season, five months later in Macau.

He is quoted as saying:

“It is a good result, but I am never happy when I'm not first. Since I was a child I was never happy when I wasn't first. So, it is the still the same.”

Charles would end up finishing the season in fourth place behind Felix Rosenquist, Antonio Giovinazzi, and Jake Dennis. He'd still have 4 wins, 13 podiums, 3 pole positions and 6 fastest laps, making him the rookie champion over future F1 competitors George Russell, Lance Stroll and Alexander Albon.

Formula Scout would summarize his season:

VAR, like most, couldn’t keep up with Prema in the later part of the season but Leclerc seemed to lose some individual sparkle too. That’s forgivable for a teenage rookie though, particularly with the early-season highs becoming impossible to match. And no young racer should have to say goodbye to a life-long friend and mentor mid-season. Leclerc might not have been champion but he was F3’s standout talent in 2015.

Even with the issues in the later half of the season, he was still tapped to go into GP3 with Todt's team, ART Grand Prix. And he had some lighthearted moments:

(Behind the scenes footage here.)

One of the most lasting legacies of this season, though, is how it would set up the rest of Charles' career.

Charles did go into 2015 with very few sponsors outside of Todt. In a pre-season assessment, Formula Scout summarizes his off-track relationships:

No doubt assisted by the Bianchis’ tutelage, Leclerc signed with Todt Jr’s All Road Management firm in 2011. At present, Leclerc has no ties to F1 teams, but through his work with Felipe Massa, Pastor Maldonado and Bianchi, Todt has dealt with most of them and will be very well-placed to get his protege a role when the time comes. A potential stumbling point is that most F1 teams are already overflowing with some serious sub-F1 prospects, but if he continues to impress as he’s doing at the moment, they could begin falling over each other to find a space for him. Funding-wise, Leclerc benefits from partners usually tied to Todt’s projects, and watch maker Richard Mille (currently a sponsor of the Lotus F1 team) is his loyal main backer. And you’d imagine that being billed as a future F1 star from Monaco could well tempt some further future investment.

Lance Stroll would spend most of his single-seaters career against Charles as the Ferrari-backed driver until 2015, when he left to take a development driver role with Williams.

By this point, the Ferrari Driver Academy was heavily scrutinized to the point where it was speculated that they would do away with the initiative entirely. While Red Bull's junior program had brought Sebastian Vettel, Daniel Ricciardo and Daniil Kyvat to its senior team, no driver from the FDA had successfully made the jump. At the end of 2015, Ferrari team principal Maurizio Arrivabene decided to appoint a new head and restructure the program entirely.

Charles was rumored to be the next addition to the Ferrari Driver Academy in November 2015 as part of these changes; by December, articles were already talking as if the signing was inevitable.

In 2020, Charles would talk about visiting Maranello for the first time-- not as a friend of Jules'-- that year with his father:

I went with my father to Maranello (the home of Ferrari). I was 17 years young and extremely shy. I was scared because I didn't know if I was good enough to be included in the programme.

He was. He would end up impressing Ferrari in his two days of testing.

They would announce Charles as a member of the Ferrari Driver Academy in 2016, setting up both his next year and the rest of his career.

#year:2015 #vgp:topic #series:f3euro

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feeder86 · 2 years

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Bro Code

Oscar sighed, coming out of another entertainment interview and feeling completely drained after pretending to be upbeat about the show’s season finale and its renewal for season four. His jaws ached from the smiling and he ran over in his mind the questions he had stumbled on, again and again. Every interviewer, no matter who was conducting it, seemed to want him to address the rumours about the on-set tension. They’d brought it on themselves in a way. His chemistry with Dean on the screen was something all the early reviewers had applauded; the media were always going to be out for blood at the merest hint of tension behind the scenes.

The show had always been an unlikely hit: a romantic, crime-drama series, featuring a gay superhero and his male love interest. Oscar had been thrilled to get the part three years ago, although the production company had been clear that he hadn’t been their first choice. After the pilot, there had been an outcry that the original actor for Oscar’s part was straight. LGBTQI groups had petitioned and made their voices heard loud and clear that that sort of casting was not something they were willing to take lightly. So, only days before full production was set to begin, Oscar had been shipped out to Los Angeles to take over the role and, as far as he was concerned, it had all been downhill from there.

The set had been toxic from day one: a battleground of nepotism and inflated egos. Oscar had got the sense that he was just a necessary evil to the producers. He did his job, helped to pull in the viewers and allowed the show to continue rolling on; but they didn’t have to like him or show any recognition that he was a vital part of their success. The heart of the problem was, and always had been the lead actor himself, Dean Greg. With his family owning a major share in the production company, Dean had strolled straight into the lead role of The Silence; a lesser-known comic book superhero of the late 2000s, and one of the first to be openly gay. Oscar had grown up watching Dean on another show, a teen comedy the guy had gone into straight after finishing high school; Dean’s family had owned that production too. It was partly why Oscar had taken the role on this show so eagerly, despite his blossoming career in the UK; the opportunity to be the love interest for Dean Greg on a prime time show. He could practically hear his sixteen year old self screaming in excitement at the idea. But the Dean he imagined in his head was very different to the reality.

There was a certain skill to Hollywood arrogance and entitlement, but Dean had seemed to master it well. Perhaps it would have been more forgivable if Dean had brought something outstanding to the show, but the reality was, he was nothing special. The man was a comedy actor, and the dark, brooding tone of the show seemed to clash rather remarkably with his style. Oscar had lost count of the number of late finishes he had had, with Dean needing take after take to get things right. If it had been Oscar causing that sort of pressure on the production, he could just imagine what would have been said to him; but not the golden boy.

Back in the days when Oscar watched Dean on his old TV show, ‘Bro Code’, the idea that the guy would one day play a muscle-bound superhero wasn’t immediately obvious. Sure, Dean’s impressive height and build were already there, but he was also pretty overweight and not at all toned. His character, Codey, had been a loveable idiot, lazy and comically laid back about everything in life. Oscar’s crush on him had been deep and he sometimes felt that when he dated guys, he was constantly, and ridiculously, comparing them to the entirely fictional character he had fallen in love with back in his teens.

“Are you worried about type-casting?” asked the next interviewer with a sickly smile; as if she wasn’t asking a question that poked at one of Oscar's biggest worries.

“Not really,” Oscar lied. “I don’t plan on staying in Los Angeles once the show wraps up.” Inwardly, he kicked himself. The producers always told him to never talk about the show ending. Like the superhero it portrayed, they wanted it to be perceived as invincible. “What I mean is,” he clarified, “I’d want to return to the UK and take on some projects there instead. But that’s way, way off in the future. The show still has many more left in it.” he added, hoping that that might prevent him from getting a telling off later.

“Now to the question that everyone is asking,” the interviewer went on. “You and Dean make such a lovely pairing on screen. But, rumour has it that you two don’t actually get along in real life. What can you tell us about that?”

Stifling the urge to sigh in defeat, Oscar simply smiled politely back and prepared to lie for the hundredth time that day. The superlatives that he used to describe his co-star rolled off his tongue with ease, as he denied, quite emphatically, that there was anything but perfect harmony on set. He knew, as well as everyone else did, that that illusion had to be maintained at all times.

The summer break slipped away all too soon and Oscar’s dread about returning was amplified when he read that the first episode was to be shot by a director he particularly despised. He’d clashed with the guy since the first season, and despite making several complaints about the sexist, bullying and outright homophobic ramblings of the man, here he was again, invited back to direct another six episodes this year. The superhero genre wasn’t especially Oscar’s thing. He looked over the scripts, wondering where the fan interest even came from. Episode two read almost word for word like a story they had done back in season two. Then again, he thought with a thrill of excitement, if the viewing figures declined, maybe they wouldn’t get picked up next year!

Dean’s new girlfriend was hovering about on the set, making a nuisance of herself and, inexplicably, getting away with it. Oscar rolled his eyes at the double standards. Unlike the actor who had previously had his part in the pilot, Dean had declared himself bisexual in order to keep his role when all the critics started petitioning the casting. It was all a joke. Oscar had never once seen the guy with anyone other than blonde, petit, plastic-looking things with oversized breasts that made them look overbalanced and ready to topple over.

Oscar climbed into his trailer and collapsed onto his couch, burying his head under the cushions. “Arsehole!” he growled, having just been belittled by his most hated director. “Get me out of this fucking shithole!” he complained into the fabric of the sofa.

Just then, Oscar heard the flush of his toilet and he jumped in surprise. Someone was in his trailer! He sat bolt upright and watched the door swing open. Then, shockingly, Dean looked at him, seemingly irritated that Oscar was even there.

“What are you doing in my trailer?” Oscar asked, disgusted by the invasion into his private space.

“Hiding,” Dean simply replied. “They’ve got some sort of fan experience thing… someone who won a competition to enable them to spend a day on set with me. I don’t know - something along those lines. It’s all bullshit. I’m not due on set for another hour and no one will ever find me in here.” With that, he parked himself down heavily on the chair and grabbed his cell phone, already plugged in and charging from the wall.

“You could have asked first,” Oscar mumbled. “This is the only place I have for myself.”

Dean swiped through his phone and seemed entirely disinterested. “Yeah, I heard your little rant. Who’s pissed you off now?” he asked in a tired and disinterested voice.

“It’s nothing,” Oscar spat through gritted teeth. He didn’t have the sort of relationship with Dean where he could discuss anything. Plus, he was always likely to go reporting back to his family and stir up a whole new load of issues, accusing Oscar of being a trouble-maker. With no friends here, Oscar usually knew his only option was to suffer in silence. He looked at Dean, making himself at home in his trailer and felt the pit of dread in his stomach at the thought of going back out on set. That was when his rage boiled over. “I just can’t fucking wait for this show to be over already.” he almost shouted. “There’s no way in hell I’m coming back next year!”

Dean smirked, still looking at his cell phone. “I don’t like your chances. My dad will sue your ass in the blink of an eye if you try to back out of your contract.”

Oscar huffed in annoyance, but that flat, brutal reminder was enough to silence his complaints, and he simply sat there, grinding his teeth, wishing that Dean would just get the fuck out of his trailer.

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t want to be here any more than you do,” Dean stated breezily back. “I never even wanted to do this show in the first place.”

Oscar rolled his eyes, not believing a word of it. “You fucking love it,” he countered. “Or is it stressful being everybody’s golden boy?”

“I’m only here because I have it in my contract that my dad will sign over the rights to my old TV show to me,” Dean stated frankly, looking up from his cell phone at last. “You really think I want to spend the whole of my summer off doing insane workouts and nutrition plans just to play a dumb superhero role?”

Oscar thought for a second. “You want to reboot Bro Code?” he asked in disbelief.

“That show was the best job I ever had,” Dean laughed, with a smile of fond memories on his face. “It wasn’t even acting. I just turned up and said my lines. There was none of this fantasy bullshit to try and make convincing. If I’m honest, I can’t even follow half the scripts for this show.”

The fanboy in Oscar quivered inside. “I’d be over the moon if you ever did manage to bring Bro Code back!” he smiled. “I know pretty much every single line of all six seasons!”

“Really?” Dean asked, sounding mildly interested. “I didn’t know you’d ever seen it.”

Oscar resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He’d only talked about his great love of Dean’s old show in every single one of his interviews to promote their series. In one fan-favourite interview, he’d been asked to do a ‘Bro Code’ quiz against some supernerds, coming out victorious. He’d always known that Dean didn’t have an ounce of interest in him, so it was hardly surprising that he didn’t watch any of his interviews on TV.

“So, if I did manage to get the show rebooted, where do you think my character, Codey, would be now? Eight years later?” Dean asked, turning a little, like he was genuinely interested in what Oscar might have to say.

Oscar inhaled excitedly. It was exactly the sort of conversation he had been dying to have with Dean for years; back before he knew what a self-absorbed jerk he was. “Codey would be living the life of his dreams,” he chuckled. “That guy always landed on his feet!”

Dean nodded in agreement.

“He’d have married some super-hot chick; probably a chef or something. Everyone would be really jealous of that. He loves his food, so he’s probably eaten so much of her cooking that he’s absolutely enormous by now. But… you know what Codey is like. He’d love it. It would make him feel more masculine. He’d call the other characters puny…”

Oscar was about to reel off a great many more ideas about where he saw the character now, but Dean’s face made him stop. The man’s jaw had dropped and he stared at Oscar with an almost indescribable expression. “That’s EXACTLY where I see him now as well!” Dean exclaimed. “Right down to the super-hot chef as his wife! I’ve asked so many people that question and no-one has ever come close to having the same vision as me!”

“Really?” Oscar asked, genuinely perplexed. “But it’s so obvious!”

Despite the fact that Oscar was pulled back onto set not long afterwards, things between him and Dean seemed to change quite a lot after that day. At first, he was perplexed to see Dean coming to see him in his trailer (never once knocking first), but pretty soon, it became something of a norm. Dean was deadly serious about wanting to bring back his old show, and he gradually began to share his notebooks, storyboards and jokes that he’d been storing up since he’d successfully negotiated the rights to the show from his family; only coming into effect once the current show ended. Laughter began to emerge from the trailer as the pair of them bounced gags off each other and came up with more and more potential plotlines. Within a few short weeks, there was enough material for a full 22-episode season, and possibly more. It was amazing how many stories Codey’s size would create as well; stuff that had never ever been done on television before.

“Won’t you be fed up of wearing a fat suit though?” Oscar asked, as Dean began describing one of the physical comedy sequences he could play out.

“No, I plan to gain the weight for real,” Dean stated with certainly. “Fat suits are for losers. They never look right either.”

“But… your abs…” Oscar mumbled, thinking back to the shirtless scene he’d done with Dean only that morning.

“They’re going!” Dean chuckled, rubbing his flat stomach. “As soon as this shit show ends, I’m going to be downing pints of whipping cream, stuffing doughnuts down my throat and having as many ten thousand calorie days as I can.” He seems more excited by that idea than Oscar had ever seen him. “And I can’t fucking wait!” he smiled.

Late September hit and the fourth season that they had been working on for over two months finally began to air. Reviews for the season opener had been mixed, but as episode two, three and four went out, there was a slow crisis building on set. The writers’ complacency had turned around to bite them. All of Oscar’s concerns about the scripts were being noticed by the fans: the circular storylines, the similarity of the episodes to previous seasons’. Overnight ratings were way down on last year. But, despite the grim looks of the producers, the atmosphere in Oscar’s trailer was one of absolute joy.

“Here’s to finishing in fourth place for our time slot!” Dean grinned, raising a cheeky beer that had been sat at the back of Oscar’s refrigerator for weeks.

Oscar sat with him, pouring over the reviews and fan comments online. They laughed and began to speculate on how episode five would go down the following week.

“One beer and I’m feeling light headed!” Dean chuckled. “My personal trainers and nutritionist haven’t let me had one of these bad boys in ages!”

“Well, if things keep nose diving like this, you’ll be able to have as many beers as you like soon enough!” Oscar grinned. The possibility of the show getting cancelled had been all he had ever dreamed about for years. However, now he was celebrating that small hope with the one thing he had been lacking on set all that time: a friend.

In response to the damning reviews and lacklustre ratings, the writers had embarked on a mad flurry of rewrites. Each day, new pages were being delivered. Oscar laughed at the flaws in their panicked ideas; plot points that were being abandoned and others that directly contradicted things that had happened in previous seasons. Dean nodded along, pleased to know that it was all likely to go in their favour; although he openly admitted that he didn’t follow, or even understand much about the show and its storylines. “Apparently, this website says it’s 50/50 whether we get renewed next year,” Oscar reported, staring down at his cell phone during their break.

Dean stood up and helped himself to the beer he now kept in Oscar’s trailer, away from those who would scorn him for drinking it. “That’s still a fifty percent chance we’re going to be dragged back here next year,” he grumbled. “There’s got to be a way we can bring those odds more in our favour.

Oscar watched as Dean sat himself down sluggishly on the sofa, grabbing a cookie from the pack he had smuggled in that morning. His old image of Dean as the vain, egocentric jerk was slowly fading away. He’d come to see, just as Dean had always said, how similar the guy was to his character, Codey, on Bro Code. What would Codey do in a situation like this?

“Well, I do have one idea…” Oscar began, his heart racing surprisingly fast as the thought came into his mind. “You could always start… gaining a few pounds.”

Dean stared at him in surprise.

Oscar felt the need to justify himself. “I mean, you were planning on gaining weight anyway. But if the execs were on the fence about renewing us… a few extra pounds on the titular character’s body wouldn’t hurt.”

Dean’s eyebrows rose and he clearly pictured it in his mind. “Yeah,” he nodded; his smile getting wider and wider. “I think that could work.” He seemed to rub his stomach mindlessly. “It wouldn’t take much. My personal trainer has me so lean, just ten pounds would send everyone into a tailspin. It’d be obvious.” He sat up, like his mind was whirring into life: how he could do it, how fast it could be achieved. “This is an awesome idea!” he nodded. “Oscar, I think you’ve found the answer to all our problems!”

As far as Dean was concerned, the timing was absolutely perfect. Thanksgiving was coming up, and if that didn’t do it, the holidays certainly would. Mysterious boxes began arriving for Oscar’s trailer and he chuckled when he saw what was inside: fresh deliveries for a hungry guy, determined to lose his job.

“...and a full can of condensed milk,” Dean boasted, listing off the ingredients for a calorie shake he had made himself the night before.

“And you actually drank all that?” Oscar asked, chuckling in amazement.

“It was actually delicious!” Dean grinned. “There are loads of similar recipes online for guys trying to gain a few pounds. There’s so much information as well. If you really want it, you can blow up in no time.”

“And what does Jessica think of you downing these calorie shakes when you get home?” Oscar asked, thinking about Dean’s girlfriend; now six months into their relationship.

“I haven’t told her about our plan,” Dean stated, sounding as if he believed it was none of her business. “She’ll see the results soon enough,” he chuckled, slapping his middle with excitement. “Then she can decide whether it’s something she’s willing to put up with or not. I’m not all that bothered, either way.” He reached across to the box of doughnuts sitting on the small table and took his fifth one that day, biting into it greedily; the largest bite Oscar had ever seen anyone take. He raised it up, like making a toast and mumbled with an almost full mouth, “I’ve got to hand it to you, Oscar,” he nodded. “This is the best fucking idea you’ve ever had!”

Production on the show took a break midway through December, just as it had done every year. Oscar was straight on the plane, heading back to the UK. Although he had managed to keep his unhappiness working on the show away from the public eye, his family all knew and sympathised with him; knowing of the struggles he had had. Now there really did feel like a reason to celebrate. With only four months of filming remaining, Oscar could really be about to be home for good soon.

Dean’s smirk was written all over his face as he arrived at work that January. He’d been late and had rushed through make-up, so Oscar only saw him as he arrived on set, ready for their steamy sex scene that would open an episode, set to air at the end of February. Dean looked entirely refreshed from the break, dressed in his bath robes and strutting on to the bedroom set looking surprisingly pleased with himself.

“Did you have a nice break?” Oscar asked casually. Somehow, Dean’s smile seemed infectious and he felt his spirit lift, just being around the man.

“Very good!” Dean nodded, almost knowingly. “I had the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” he replied; before the director came over to the two of them to talk them through the scene.

Dean seemed impatient to get going; only just resisting the urge to talk over the director as he impatiently bounced about, waiting to start shooting. Then the moment came. He pulled off his robe, revealing his built shoulders, letting the thick material fall to the ground. All of a sudden, the man was stood there, naked but for his boxer shorts; and the most terrible intake of breath was heard all over the set. All eyes were on Dean’s body. Over the break, a rounded little paunch had started to pop out under his muscular chest. It was meaty and his core remained undoubtedly strong, but it was packed tight and bloated-looking, spreading around to the side so that even from behind his gain was more than evident.

“What’s the matter?” Dean asked, knowing full well why nobody had moved an inch. His grin was one of complete pleasure at his own cleverness and he clapped his hands together, relishing every minute. “Let’s get this party started!”

Unsurprisingly, they were late to begin filming that day. Oscar wasn’t privy to the flurry of phone calls that were going on in the offices. Some pretty high up executives had just been given a very nasty headache on the first day back. Not that Oscar saw any of that. He’d been swept away to film his scenes for later on in the day, while Dean was clearly getting a grilling from someone. Not wanting to get behind on filming, it had been a rush to alter the schedule for the day, and Oscar already knew that he wouldn’t be getting home until very late that night. What on earth had Dean done? Oscar had suggested that he gained a few pounds to hide his six pack a little, but nothing like this! Dean had gone full-on beast-mode, growing a little pot belly in a matter of weeks! The image of it stuck in Oscar’s mind; a sight he would never forget; so bizarrely rounded and full on a man so athletic.

It wasn’t until the next day that Oscar saw Dean again. He’d heard rumours on set that their bloated superhero was to commence filming again that afternoon, but there had been no sign of him. However, there he was, sat on Oscar’s couch as he went back to his trailer for a twenty minute lunch break. His grin lit up the room as Oscar entered and he raised a cool beer up in the air, as if they were celebrating.

“Where the hell have you been?” Oscar blasted as soon as the door was closed.

“Crisis talks!” Dean laughed. “I’ve had so many people breathing down my neck for the last twenty-four hours, you wouldn’t believe it!” He lifted up his shirt to reveal his rounded stomach. “They pretty much painted on a six pack! Like that’s going to fool anyone! They made some clever changes to the costumes and have pretty much decided to hide my belly as much as possible. Apparently, they brought in some lady who’s a specialist at helping conceal pregnancies on screen. Can you believe that?!”

Oscar stared at the completely unconvincing six pack on Dean’s body. He felt a burning curiosity inside himself; like he wanted to ask Dean to remove his shirt entirely and let him explore all the changes properly. “I can’t believe you did this…” was all he could manage to string together.

“It’s insane, isn’t it?” Dean laughed, grabbing an actual wedge of fat on his middle and jiggling it. He reached out, grabbing Oscar’s arm and then slapping the hand down on his rounded middle.

“It’s actually soft!” Oscar shot straight away, trying to ignore the strange arousal he felt.

“It’s fat! That’s why!” Dean chuckled, releasing Oscar’s wrist. “Gain thirty pounds and this…” he pointed directly at his stomach “...is exactly what happens to you!”

“Thirty?” Oscar asked, unsure about whether he was surprised by that number or not. “I thought we said you’d gain ten pounds?”

“Once you start, it’s hard to stop!” Dean laughed at himself, slapping his little belly once more with pride. “This has been the best thing I have ever done. I finally feel like I’m starting to remember who I used to be. I was never into the whole super-ripped body thing. I just got sucked down this strange, narcissistic path because they all told me I’d never work again unless I became what they wanted.”

“What does Jessica think?” Oscar asked next.

“She flew back to Australia to be with her folks over the holidays. She gets back tomorrow. But, who cares?” Dean sighed, still looking pleased with himself. “It’s you I’ve been looking forward to showing. I’ve not told anyone, you know. Fattening me up is still our secret.”

Oscar didn’t know whether Dean meant it or not, but the whole situation suddenly felt a lot more intimate. When he saw Dean rubbing his stomach, it seemed like he was doing so only for him. They shared a look of mutual appreciation.

“We have to be careful from now on,” Oscar stated warningly. “If they get wind that we’re deliberately trying to sabotage the show, we’re in deep shit. You may be related to them, but I’d bet anything that they’d sue and try to take back the rights to ‘Bro Code’ from you. This little belly will have to be it for now. You can’t gain any more.”

Dean pulled a face. “I know you’re right, but I don’t want to stop.” He rubbed his stomach more now; like it comforted him to know his abs had been smothered with a protective layer of fat. “Now that I’ve started, I just want to keep going.”

“Please!” Oscar begged, his heart racing with panic. “We’ve got to slow this thing down. At least until we get official confirmation that the show is cancelled. Then I’ll happily stuff you full of doughnuts myself!” he joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Dean’s eyebrows rose and a boyish smirk came to his face. “You promise?” he asked in an almost flirtatious manner.

A second attempt on the opening scene was being made that afternoon. A couple of changes were being made, whereby Oscar would be the one to walk in half-naked, instead of Dean, who would now be lying in bed, under the sheets. They’d talked it through at a rapid pace, trying to get back on track with the schedule. The sheets were to be draped over them, but the hands would roam and the focus would most likely be on the kissing. That was something new for the show and Oscar felt strangely nervous as he climbed into the bed as they began filming.

In contrast, Dean seemed more relaxed than Oscar had ever seen him during these types of scenes. They’d shared many kisses over the four seasons, but to Oscar, this felt almost like the first time; the first time he was doing it when he actually felt something for the man he had mostly despised up until now. Dean’s large hand held the back of Oscar’s head, pulling him in. Their lips parted and embraced, exhaling passionately a moment later. Oscar could smell the sugary doughnuts on the guy’s breath and couldn’t help feeling excited that Dean had quietly indulged himself somewhere, even after the stark warnings he had tried his best to emphasise to him. He dove in, trying to use that passion for the character, and Dean came back to more than match it. Simultaneously, their lips parted and they both went deeper. They hadn’t discussed using tongues before shooting, but now that they were in the moment, it seemed entirely natural. Now Oscar could taste the sugar on Dean’s tongue and it was sending him into an abyss of lust. He should have stopped the scene as soon as he felt himself getting hard, but, against every one of his professional values, he’d let the scene continue. He felt Dean roll into him more and he winced when he felt their pelvises rub into each other. Then he felt it, and everything was suddenly okay. Dean was hard as well. Their eyes met, knowingly, and the scene rumbled on.

“Cut!” called the director after capturing the final shot. “Guys, that was absolutely amazing!”

“I thought you’d agreed to cool the weight gain for now?” Oscar asked a few weeks later, as Dean pulled out a beer from Oscar's trailer refrigerator.

Dean unpopped the lid and smirked. “I’ve still got to make sure I don’t lose any,” he replied cheekily. “The personal trainer they got for me has been absolutely brutal,” he complained, despite raising his arm and flexing the extraordinary size of his bicep. He finished with a satisfied round of patting on his little stomach, then sat himself down heavily, enjoying the taste of his beer. “Apparently they’re all on edge upstairs. They’re getting the phone call from the network on Friday, letting us know if we’re wrapping up for good this year.”

“That’s happening on Friday?” Oscar asked nervously. In previous years, they had known before the holidays about their renewal. However, back then it had been an easy call to make. This year, with falling viewing figures and declining quality, they’d left them stewing until there were only seven more weeks of filming remaining. He immediately picked up his cell phone and began texting. “My agent in the UK is almost as desperate as me to find out whether we’re cancelled or not.”

“Your agent in the UK?” Dean asked, as if this had been the last thing he had expected to hear. “You’re planning to do some work in the UK after we wrap?”

“I plan to move back completely after this job ends,” Oscar stated simply. “I don’t think I’m quite cut out for the US.”

“What ‘s wrong with the US?” Dean asked a little defensively.

“It’s been the worst time of my life working on this show,” Oscar explained. “Is it any surprise that I just want to get the hell out of here? Los Angeles is such a bizarre place, full of egos, expectations and narcissism. Then there’s the politics and the gun culture…” he sighed. “No, it’s definitely not for me.”

Dean looked red, like he had just been slapped across the face. He upturned his beer and drained it down his throat, stepping back up and announcing that he needed to get back on set.

Oscar had never assumed that Dean would be someone who was so patriotic. With their characters currently split up during some weird alien planet saga that had overtaken everything else during this season, they hadn’t been working together for a couple of days. However, Dean also hadn’t been over to see Oscar in his trailer as he usually did.

The news came that Friday morning, just as Oscar had been hoping. Everyone had been called onto set with glum faces, expecting the worst. Oscar’s look of disappointment was one of the best acting performances of his career. The show was cancelled, ending, kaput, dead! Freedom was coming! He no longer cared that Dean was sulking with him, strolling straight over to Dean’s trailer that afternoon. He knocked on the door, giving Dean the courtesy that he had never received, and waited until Dean came into view. Not a word was said as their eyes met. Dean simply acknowledged him and then nodded his head for Oscar to enter.

Oscar looked around the trailer to make sure no one else was there before he burst out in excitement. “I can’t believe it! Can you? We’re finally free of this shit show!”

Dean didn’t share any signs of excitement, but simply trotted over to the kitchenette to lean against the countertop and survey Oscar more carefully.

“Aren’t you excited?” Oscar asked. Surely whatever had upset him the other day paled into insignificance now?

“It’s the best news ever,” Dean replied, without a trace of enthusiasm in his voice.

“Well… you could tell your face…” Oscar mumbled, feeling Dean’s low mood starting to bring him down too.

Silence followed. The pair stared at each other in a way that wouldn’t have been possible had they not grown so close over the last few months.

“I don’t want you to go back to the UK,” Dean finally stated. “I just kinda assumed that… with all the work we’ve been doing, plotting out the new show, you’d want to stick around and see it through with me.”

Oscar felt touched. The idea that Dean had been upset because of his departure had never occurred to him and he told him so.

“I’m going to be going through a lot of changes soon,” Dean went on, mindlessly rubbing his middle. “Big changes. And I kinda want someone there who I can trust. Someone I can work with to get back into character.”

“What are you suggesting?” Oscar asked. “Are you looking for someone to produce it with you? Because… I’m not so sure I’ve got the skills for that sort of thing.”

“Are you kidding?” Dean chuckled. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Our best ideas for the rebooted show have come straight out of that strange and marvellous head of yours!” He seemed to be thinking on his feet, giving the impression that there was a rush of words trying to gush their way out of his mouth. “All you have to do is glance at one of the scripts for this show and you know exactly what’s wrong with them. Everything that went downhill this season, you called it straight away: every plot flaw, every continuity error, every lame attempt at melodrama, you saw it first. You’re just… incredible! Of course I want you to produce the show alongside me.”

Oscar could feel himself blushing. He’d never particularly enjoyed receiving compliments and he squirmed under Dean’s praise.

“I watched one of the interviews you did a couple of years ago. In fact, I watched almost all of them that I could still find online. You said that you found it easy to pretend that you’re in love with me for the show because you pictured Codey from Bro Code when you perform. You said that you compare every other man you meet to Codey and they always come up short. Is that true?” Dean asked.

It was the second time that Oscar had been stunned that day. The thought of Dean spending his time studying past interviews he had done seemed almost surreal. He tried to shrug off the embarrassment and retreated, promising Dean that he would consider the incredible offer he had just made.

Things lightened between Dean and Oscar after that. With only four episodes left to shoot, an incredible barrage of rewrites were being thrust upon them to bring the show to a climactic finale. The fanbase had been outraged at the cancellation and the inevitable petitions to save the show were already underway.

“Hey, go easy!” Oscar chuckled, pulling a box of doughnuts away from Dean as he slobbed out in his trailer. “We’re not finished with the show just yet. You’re going to give the costume department even more of a headache if you carry on like this!”

Dean laughed and pulled the box back towards him. “Fuck it!” he cheered. “I’ve already told them I’m not doing any more shirtless scenes.” He pulled up the bottom of his t-shirt and flapped it over so that his belly button was on show. His stomach looked bloated; either from the six doughnuts he had just eaten, or from the longer term impact of his new, more relaxed diet. Nevertheless, Dean stared down at his small tummy as if it was the thing he was most proud of in the entire world. “I’m only taking on fat boy parts from now on.”

Oscar chuckled, revelling in Dean’s hedonistic attitude; so much different to the Dean he had known before. Dean smiled too, rubbing his little stomach and moaning as he took another huge, greedy bite of a fresh doughnut; all in aid of making Oscar laugh even more. “You’re so bad!” Oscar teased him. “If only your fans could see you now…”

“Yeah!” Dean agreed, raising his eyebrows mischievously and pushing in the largest piece of doughnut yet; struggling to chew it all and making them both laugh like a pair of giggling teenage girls.

“Does this mean that you’re going to start up those calorie shakes again?” Oscar asked, strangely enthralled by the idea. Dean simply looked down guiltily and smirked. “You mean, you already have started doing the calorie shakes again?” Oscar gasped, laughing even more. Dean’s self-satisfied grin was enough to make Oscar’s heart flutter to the extreme. How he loved this side of his co-star!

“I just want to get fat, man!” Dean stated, rubbing his stomach with the gentlest and most delicate of touches. “Do you think that’s weird?”

“No,” Oscar replied immediately. “It’s been your goal for years to bring back Codey. You’re looking ahead. Of course you want to change your body for the character.”

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged. “It’s not just about that.” Despite slouching on the couch, there seemed to be an energy behind his eyes; a devilish twinkle and mischief that was so easy to fall in love with. “I just want to grow a big, fat belly on me.” He modelled with his hands the shape of an enormous ball sitting almost into his lap. “I tried telling my girlfriend once and she was horrified. She said it would be such a shame if I did that to myself. In the end , I backtracked and told her I was joking. But I wasn’t.” He looked Oscar square in the face. “I want to get fat,” he finally announced.

Oscar knew that he was supposed to say something at that point, but no words came to him. The least attractive quality of Dean had always been that vain ego of his. And now, even that was being stripped away from him. He was funny and playful, laidback and yet headstrong. He knew himself better than anyone else Oscar had ever met.

“Do you think it’s a shame too?” Dean asked. “The fact that I want to just eat and pack blubber onto my body?” His tone was strange. As if, just saying this aloud was somehow erotic for him.

Oscar simply shook his head and stared longingly into Dean’s eyes. He realised now that he had known for some time that there had been more to Dean’s fascination with his weight gain than was immediately apparent. And, even stranger, he found that he was falling even more in love with Dean because of it.

“I think you understand me better than anyone else in the entire world,” Dean muttered, seeming to sense that connection himself. “You’re going to produce the show with me, aren’t you?” he asked, as if he knew that the pair of them should never part.

Slowly, Oscar nodded.

It was a beautiful moment, but not one that could be cherished for long. Only a few seconds after the words had been said, there was a vigorous thumping on the trailer door, calling Dean back onto set. He grumbled, lifting his body up and wiping around his mouth and checking his handsome face in the mirror. He smiled back at Oscar with genuine affection, opened the door and was gone.

As Dean and Oscar poured over more story ideas and mapped out their pitches to the networks, they laughed harder and longer than ever before. No network could ever turn them down. Things could be less secretive now as well. Dean could start getting in touch with other members of the cast to see if they were interested in reprising their roles. It wasn’t just something to talk about anymore. All going well, they could be gearing up for production as early as fall. But there was also another, silent, unspoken aspect to these meetings. As Oscar went over on the weekend to Dean’s house, he noted that there was always food cooking or being consumed by Dean. He tried not to stare as Dean got up again and again to get more food, chewing, nodding and grunting in agreement as Oscar carried on sharing his ideas. In fact, the more Dean ate, the more ideas he seemed to generate about his character’s love of food: episodes centred around eating contests, recipes and his chef wife, who they both decided would have something of a feeder streak within her. It was old-school, recording a sitcom in front of a live audience, but that was part of where the buzz and energy of Bro Code had always come from.

“You could eat ten double hamburgers on stage, right?” Oscar asked, as the plot for one of the stories started entering his head.

Dean laughed and rubbed his stomach. “Even if I can’t, I’ll definitely have a lot of fun trying!” he smiled.

Oscar smiled back, gazing at that handsome face; even more beautiful with a little extra size in Dean’s cheeks. “All the shakes and food seem to be working,” he offered kindly, happy to go off-task for just a few moments. “You’re definitely looking a little huskier.”

The smile that spread over Dean’s face was instantaneous. He sat back in his chair and slouched until the arch of a little paunch was on show. Then, pumped from the compliment, Dean lifted off his shirt entirely so that he could show it off better. “It’s coming,” he agreed enthusiastically. “The girlfriend hates it of course,” he chuckled conspiratorially. “She thinks I’m just depressed because the show is ending!”

Oscar laughed too and shook his head, thinking how little Dean’s girlfriend actually knew him.

“I just can’t wait for it to be a real gut. You know, when it pops out properly,” Dean went on. “I’m loving the sensation of my clothes getting a little tighter though. Just that feeling alone makes me want to come down to the kitchen and drink whole pints of whipping cream!”

“And do you?” Oscar asked, intrigued.

Dean simply smirked and grabbed a little wedge of fat that was starting to form a love handle on his muscular frame. “What do you think?” he replied cheekily.

Dean didn’t put his shirt back on afterwards as the two of them continued to work. It should have been easy for Oscar to concentrate; after all, Dean had been practically naked for most of the first season. However, now his body seemed almost hypnotic, luring him in with the bloated stomach from all that he had eaten that day, as well as the extra pounds that had gathered through weeks of hedonistic indulgence.

Oscar had stayed a lot longer than he had anticipated and it was only when Dean’s cell phone alarm went off that he even thought to check the time. “Oh,” Dean mumbled, clearly shocked by how fast the hours had gone by. “That’s my calorie shake alarm.”

“You have an alarm to tell you when to have a calorie shake?” Oscar chuckled, feeling intrigued enough to follow Dean into the kitchen.

“Of course I do,” Dean nodded, starting to get items out of the refrigerator and setting up the blender on the counter. “Otherwise I get too engrossed in stuff and lose track of time. I used to do the same thing with protein shakes but… these are definitely not protein shakes!” he laughed.

“What things are you putting in this shake?” Oscar asked, picking up a tub of whipping cream and staring hard at the nutritional information on the back. No wonder Dean was starting to look so large!

That wicked twinkle came to Dean’s eyes again and he was quiet for a moment, simply considering something. “I think you should make it for me tonight,” he finally stated. “Come on, it’s easy! I’ve already got everything out. Just pick some things and throw them in!”

Oscar liked the playfulness of Dean and he was more than happy to go along. It felt teasing and arousing; almost romantic. “All right…” he began, pulling the lid off the whipping cream and starting to pour. He watched Dean’s eyes closely for any sign of when he should stop, but the longer he let the thick cream drop in, the wider and more devilish Dean’s grin became. Next he picked up some oil and slopped that in, not wanting the jug to overflow before he had put in a bit of everything Dean had got out. It almost felt like he was making a potion, pouring in one bizarre ingredient after another, in the hopes of pleasing Dean.

“You’re very good at this…” Dean whispered into his ear as the concoction got closer to the brim. He thought he’d finished when he felt Dean’s large hand grab his own from behind, guiding him to pour in just a little more chocolate powder. “That’s better,” Dean continued whispering, almost seductively. “Maybe add a little more of that ice cream too; really make my gut pop!” His large body was so close behind him, Oscar could smell his scent and feel the heat of Dean’s presence pumping out of him.

Oscar, more aroused by Dean than ever before, added the extra scoop and then put the lid on, blending the mixture up. It was thicker than he had anticipated, turning a thick, oozing brown thanks to all of the chocolate powder and sauce. He waited until the blending appeared to be completed, then pulled the lid back off, turned and presented the jug to Dean, who stood staggeringly close, waiting. He took the jug, biting his bottom lip with excitement and then lifted it to his lips. The man began chugging with a ferocity Oscar hardly thought possible. He stood in awe, watching as Dean’s already bloated tummy swelled further and further, inching its way closer and closer to him. But Dean didn’t even stop for breath. He didn’t pause or slow down; only swallowed, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Oscar had expected Dean to split the jug of calorie shake over a couple of days, given how much liquid had been in there. Yet, there the man was, throwing his head back entirely and swallowing the thickest and most sickly dregs that remained. Then, with a manly gasp of personal satisfaction, Dean lowered the empty jug into Oscar’s hands again, partially covering his mouth as he turned his head slightly and burped, long and rumbling through his thick neck. He turned back, looking at Oscar with great satisfaction, waiting for him to comment on what he had just witnessed.

“That was…” Oscar tried, simply lost for words. “I’ve never seen anyone…” Dean’s stare was so penetrating and exposing, Oscar looked down to the guy’s beefy middle instead. “You actually look like you have a real belly right now…”

Dean picked up the empty jug from Oscar’s hands and placed it on the counter behind him, removing the final barrier in their way. “Well, that belly is going to be here a lot sooner after that shake,” Dean whispered in that still seductive and erotic tone.

“I’m pleased that I could help…” Oscar whispered back, daring to look up into Dean’s eyes once more.

What came next seemed completely natural. Despite how often they had kissed on screen, when their lips met this time, it truly was for the first time. Dean kissed so delicately, and yet with more passion than Oscar could ever have anticipated. For those brief few moments, he was lost to the world completely. Nothing else mattered, or ever would matter again. But then Dean jumped back, startled by something; a sound that had hardly even registered in Oscar’s brain, and he scrambled around for his shirt, quickly swiping the remaining cartons from the shake-making into the sink with a single swish of Dean’s long, powerful arm.

“Hey, honey!” Dean shot, scratching the back of his head innocently and not knowing quite what to do with himself as his girlfriend strolled in. “We were just…” he began, in the way all guilty men tried to explain themselves. “We were preparing our pitch to the network,” he finished, looking mightily glad that she had made a noise loud enough to alert him before she walked in and saw the kiss.

Oscar made his excuses and left; now feeling more confused than ever before.

“Good morning!” Dean chirped as Oscar stumbled into make-up that Monday morning, ready to film the penultimate episode. “Did you have a nice weekend?”

“Um…” Oscar began, still not quite awake; having been up half the night going over and over Sunday’s events in his head; second guessing things and almost convincing himself that he had initiated an unwanted kiss, and that Dean would never want to speak to him again. ”I guess so,” he mumbled, very aware of the others in the room, fussing over Dean and starting to get to work on him too. “How about you?” he asked, so as not to appear rude to his co-star in front of the make-up team.

“I broke up with Jessica,” Dean stated frankly, creating a collective intake of breath from the others in the room, who all gushed over Dean like he was a three year old boy who had just fallen over onto rough concrete. “Nah, I’m fine. I’m fine,” Dean countered, brushing the concern away. “I just decided enough was enough. We weren’t right for each other.”

Dean stared at Oscar through the reflection in the mirror, letting him know that he had broken up with Jessica purely for him. He gave Oscar a cheeky grin, making the skin on Oscar’s palms start to sweat. Were they really about to do this? Was he really about to embark on a romance with Dean of all people?

Oscar felt a large hand sliding onto his hip as he stood just to the back of one of the set pieces, reading through the scene one more time. “Why, hello there…” whispered the deep, flirtatious voice of Dean. His sweet, warm breath fell onto Oscar’s neck and he kissed him sweetly there, sweeping his hands onto Oscar’s torso and embracing him from behind. “I haven’t stopped thinking about last night…”

Oscar closed his eyes for a second and allowed himself to enjoy the sensation of Dean holding him so tightly in his large arms. He turned and looked up into the man’s eyes, quite taken aback with how much they sparkled with adoration for him. “I was worried that you might have been regretting it,” he confessed.

“Not a chance!” Dean gushed, using his large hands to brush Oscar’s hair out of his face. “I wanted to call you last night but things were pretty… intense, with Jessica.” All the while he gazed into Oscar’s eyes, then sighed in satisfaction. “I want to kiss you again…” he insisted.

A shy smile filled Oscar’s face and he looked around their dark corner. “Someone will spot us!” he cautioned, laughing.

“So what?” Dean chuckled. “I want them to know. I want to shout it from the rooftops!” However, he could see the caution in Oscar’s eyes and he politely backed off. “Meet me in my trailer later then,” he whispered, skipping away like a lovesick puppy.

Later that day, Dean was sat in his trailer, smiling broadly as Oscar entered. A huge tray of doughnuts was now half gone, laid out on the table in front of him, with another one half eaten in his hand. He grunted in approval as Oscar entered, pushing the remaining half doughnut into his mouth and using his now free hands to reach out for Oscar, pulling him to stand above his lap as he outstretched his big strong thighs.

Oscar chuckled seeing that, despite his eagerness, Dean needed a few more seconds to finish chewing and swallowing before he could even think about kissing. A little of the icing sat to the corners of Dean’s mouth and Oscar swiped them up with his index finger, offering it up to Dean who gladly sucked on it. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” he teased.

“There’s no such thing as a bad time when you’re around!” Dean gushed, puckering his lips and lifting himself up enough to kiss Oscar with incredible passion.

The movement almost caught the perching Oscar off balance and his hand fell onto Dean’s stomach to steady himself. Dean moaned in appreciation, grabbing Oscar’s hand and taking it on a tour of his bloated middle as they continued to kiss. It felt so pleasingly erotic, enjoying Dean in a way that he knew no one else ever had before. Their own, private secret between them both.

“I gained two pounds this weekend,” Dean muttered not long after their lips parted. “I think the little shake you made me really did the trick,” he teased.

“I guess I must have the magic touch,” Oscar smiled, playing along and continuing to rub Dean’s bloated stomach.

Dean’s eyes were wild with lust. “You’ll have to make me some more shakes sometime… Really speed up this gut!”

Oscar grinned, feeling somehow empowered by how mutually aroused this was making them both. “Oh, don’t you worry. I will be,” he teased. The very air around them felt like it was sparking with electricity. “In fact…” he began, reaching back to the table to pick up a doughnut and hearing Dean’s breathing getting instantly heavier with lust, “...maybe we could test out this magic touch of mine right now…”

“Oh, please, yes!” Dean moaned, with greedy eyes on the doughnut and his enormous chest raising up and down. “Feed it to me, please!” he begged.

His hands down, submissively on his lap, Dean allowed the doughnut to enter his mouth, moaning with appreciation at how deep it was pushed. He bit into it like it was the most erotic moment of his life. One doughnut followed another, only stopping when the inevitable calls began for them to get back to work.

“Look at this!” Dean grinned, turning his cell phone screen to face Oscar a few days later. “Apparently we’re an item!”

Oscar’s eyes flashed with surprise as he saw the online article featuring a picture of the pair of them from a red carpet event two years before. It seemed to describe, surprisingly well, how the pair of them had been spending more time together as well as the quiet affection they showed each other on set. “There are bloody spies everywhere!” he quietly complained. “I guess we weren’t as subtle as we thought,” he whispered, looking around the set and the prying eyes watching them both. He hated articles like these where there was a glimmer of truth to them. He and Dean had not even been properly intimate with each other and yet, already the world was being told about them. The schedule had been gruelling and the days physically exhausting. The only light at the end of the tunnel was the knowledge that it would soon be over. Not long now and the pair of them would be free to explore their new relationship freely.

It had been hard though; seriously hard! Despite Dean’s epic height and build, the fat he had been gaining was becoming increasingly obvious. He’d lost his ‘golden boy’ status with most of the production crew, as it just became clear that he had completely signed out of this job. His main costume had been altered several times now and the creative cover ups for his budding belly were becoming increasingly hard to achieve. Oscar knew why; Dean was so focused on ‘Bro Code’ and building his body up, he didn’t care that he was making extra work for everyone else. It probably didn’t even occur to him. In his eyes, he’d sacrificed too much time for this show, and he wasn’t about to waste another second. It was part of what he found so irresistibly sexy about him; his drive to now do whatever he wanted, no matter the consequences, or what people thought of him.

After the article, the two guys decided to try and keep things quieter. The last thing they needed was a flood of interest in the show and a last-minute rescue from cancellation. They’d denied the romance to their publicists and quit being seen together so much on set. It was even a little fun, ordering doughnuts and cakes to be sent to Dean’s trailer, then waiting for the inevitable horny messages from the man to come in as he gorged on them during his break.

There were tears on set during the final day, but not from Dean or Oscar; at least, not genuine ones. They made their speeches, filmed the last scenes and participated in the wrap party. But, as Oscar made it home that night, he wasn’t thinking about the fact that he was now unemployed. Setting his alarm for 6am, he knew tomorrow was going to be the biggest day of his life so far.

It would have been hard to describe to anyone else just how intimate food was in Oscar and Dean’s relationship. Oscar knew that in order to make his first time with Dean special, there would need to be lots of it. It would all need to be enticing, indulgent and highly fattening. There wouldn’t be time for any actual work or script writing today. The experience of waiting had left Dean and Oscar feeling like a pair of tightly wound springs, ready to be released. By the time Dean pulled up at nine, everything was prepared. The kitchen counter was loaded with snacks, and the house had a delicious aroma from the fresh baking. Oscar could feel the butterflies in his stomach as Dean strutted out of his car, carrying a fresh coffee in his hand; his t-shirt clinging surprisingly snugly against his now sizeable paunch which had been grabbing the attention of the hungry press for the last couple of months. He’d parked, as instructed, in a spot where his car would not be seen from the road; then a cheesy grin flashed across his face as he noticed Oscar in the window.

Once the door was closed, the boys’ intimate kiss progressed very quickly from being sweet and delicate, to something a lot more lust-filled and hungry. Oscar took Dean’s hand and led him to the kitchen to show off just how much he had prepared for their day together, feeling his pulse pounding all the way down in his crotch.

“I can’t believe you set all this up!” Dean marvelled, seeing all the food out. He nodded towards the counter, seeing the exact same ingredients he used for his calorie shake, already set out, with one shake prepared and still in the blender. “YOU are just the most amazing person I have ever met!” Dean gushed, pulling Oscar back in for another kiss.

Oscar felt himself being pushed up against the refrigerator by the wildly aroused man, their kisses getting deeper and deeper. Dean only paused for a moment, lifting his shirt off and patting his stomach before diving back in again.

As difficult as it was to stop, Oscar eventually managed to tear himself away, catching his breath and trying to resist the urge to just run upstairs to bed with the sexiest man he had ever encountered. But, he’d worked hard to prepare for the day and he knew that just a little more patience would be needed in order to make the most of it. “So… what shall I feed you first?” he asked. “Your superhero days are done. There’s no point in even trying to hold that belly back now.”

Dean’s eyes were insane with lust. He picked up the blender jug and began pouring that fattening mixture down his throat. Oscar could feel his hardness weeping as he watched Dean’s head rise up as the jug slowly emptied, and he admired that strong, thick neck as he gulped and chugged with nothing but the urge to show off for him. When done, he grinned, burped and rubbed his already bloated stomach. “Where do you want me?” he asked, finally ready to be sat down and fed.

Oscar was amazed at his own restraint. He glanced at his cell phone, seeing it was now almost four in the afternoon. Dean had been grazing all day and eaten an absolutely enormous lunch. His gut looked so distended, the difference from when he first arrived was completely remarkable. They’d come close to giving in to their urges many times. During Dean’s fourth calorie shake, Dean had almost lost it entirely as Oscar began to suck him off at the same time. Somehow, they both seemed to know that the longer they waited and the more calories Dean could get down, the better the final climax would be.

“I’m never going home. You know that, right?” Dean joked as he was spoon fed ice cream after dinner. He had a hand resting on his rounded middle and hadn’t been able to stop rubbing it all day long, amazed at the shape it was taking on. “I’m just going to stay here and keep getting fatter and fatter every single day!”

“You’re just so incredibly greedy!” Oscar sighed with lust, watching as Dean bit into yet another double stacked slice of now cold pizza; a monstrously large and masculine bite. It was hard to believe that any man could still be able to consume anything after all that Dean had been fed that day.

Dean seemed to revel in the word, smiling with delight, his eyes dancing with mischief and joy as he ripped off more pizza, chewed and finally pushed the crusts into his mouth before slurping a large quantity of chocolate milk, as if trying to lubricate his throat. “I’m going to get greedier as well. I’ve been looking into it; how to train myself how to eat more. In six months time, all this will be nothing to me,” he boasted, motioning towards the many empty plates and packaging that littered the table in front of them.

“I’m looking forward to it…” Oscar nodded enthisiastically, knowing that he could no longer hold back. Seeing Dean’s dick flex and bulge with such hardness as he talked about training his appetite was the final straw. Rubbing in a little lubricant, he climbed onto Dean’s lap as the man slouched a little more, ready for what was coming and holding three stacked pizza slices in his hand as the final show of gluttony. Oscar only winced slightly as he slowly lowered himself onto Dean’s oversized hardness. He could tell by the way that the man’s eyes glazed over and his chin dropped, emphasising the slight spead of fat under there, that Dean had no restraint left in him either. He gasped, grasping Oscar’s dick in his large hand, before pushing that pizza in with only mindless greed.

Oscar’s eyes bulged. Dean’s sweaty palm was going to make him come too as he slid his butt up and down the big man’s shaft. They both started to maon as they felt it building, gazing into each other’s eyes as if baring their very souls to each other. Then it happened: the longest, most intense and explosive orgasms of their lives. It had been a long journey to get where they were now, yet both of them now knew that there would never be anyone else by their side from now on. Every step into the future would be taken together.

It was not easy being away from Dean, but the play in London had been the least that Oscar felt that he could do for his London-based agent, who had worked so hard to get him work back in the UK. Breaking the news that he wasn’t quite finished with the US just yet had not gone down terribly well, which was partly why he had been guilted into the six week stint in the West End. But, it had been so long since he’d done a real play, Oscar had almost forgotten the thrill of performing to a live audience: the laughs, the gasps, the applause. He could understand why Dean had argued so much to continue filming Bro Code in front of a live studio audience. There was no buzz that was quite like it. Yet, as he slipped back into his dressing room after finishing the second week, he sighed in longing for Dean and looked at the clock on the wall. It was still half an hour until their planned video catch-up call; just enough time for him to take off the make-up, slip out of the back entrance of the theatre and take the taxi to the soulless, one-bedroom apartment he was renting in Battersea.

Just then, there was a knock at the dressing room door. Oscar felt inclined to ignore it as he hurried to get ready to leave. However, the second knock was louder, more forceful and impatient, making Oscar roll his eyes and finally open up.

“Well, hello there!” Dean grinned smugly, taking in the joy that instantly spread across Oscar’s face. “Did you miss me?”

Oscar fell into Dean’s enormous chest and the pair began kissing passionately as they fell back into the room; sweeping the door closed behind them. “What are you doing here?” Oscar asked, still overcome with shock.

“I came to see you, of course,” Dean smirked, already taking his shirt off. “The play was awesome. You were amazing! Just incredible. You so deserve all of those rave reviews!” he gushed.

Oscar barely heard a word of what was said, so captivated was he by the changes since he left almost a month ago. Dean’s belly had been swelling so much. It now seemed so round and firm, overindulged and packed as it was so frequently now. But the fat was also building now in his pecs and his love handles bulged incredibly, giving a new wider mass to Dean’s middle that overwhelmed even the broadness of his chest. It was a belly; a true, fat belly!

Sensing that Oscar was overcome by the sight of him, Dean grabbed Oscar’s hand and placed it on the top of his gut, where it was starting to bulge and become shelf-like. “Oh, yeah. And I may have gained a few pounds since you left…”

“You look…” Oscar began in awe.

“Go on!” Dean smiled, clearly getting more aroused. “Tell me how fucking fat I’m getting!” he demanded excitedly, slapping his gut and grabbing a wedge to jiggle; demonstrating that it wasn’t anywhere near as firm as it looked.

“You look like a complete… lardarse,” Oscar smiled knowingly.

“Oh, fuck!” Dean moaned; his dick instantly smashing against the fabric of his pants. There clearly couldn't have been a better word that Oscar could have chosen to get the man so overtaken by lust. They fell into each other; Oscar’s hands roaming and exploring the changes as they kissed; grabbing and holding the fresh fat that had been packed on. It was a transformation like nothing he had ever witnessed before. That old hunk was gone forever. Oscar was, at long last, dating a real fat guy.

“I hope you packed your appetite?” Oscar smiled as they finally made it out of the theatre. “You haven’t been truly fed until you’ve experienced a proper London stuffing…”

It was incredible the difference a couple of years could make. Gone were the days of Oscar having to promote himself on any old talk show. Now he could pick and choose, knowing that his appearance was a boon to whichever show he had signed up for. His ongoing television and movie work, alongside his association with ‘Bro Code’ and its lead actor, had opened doors for him that he didn’t know even existed. Nostalgia was a powerful thing. Rebooting a show that had once been so successful, bringing it back even stronger than before; churning out outstanding content week after week; it had all led to multiple season orders and awards aplenty. Right now, he and Dean were working on two new pilot projects and had multiple ideas for spin-offs related to the original show.

“So, Season three starts next week and we are all just so pumped!” the chat show presenter lamented, igniting a cheer from his audience. “Is there anything you can tell us about what’s coming up?”

“I’m afraid you’re just going to have to tune in and find out,” Oscar smiled back.

“Well, there is one thing we do know…” the presenter nodded to his audience, trying to make it sound like this entire conversation hadn’t all been roughly scripted beforehand. “It was announced a couple of weeks ago that you’re actually going to have your own character on the show.” At that, a promotional shot of Oscar in character arrived on the big screen behind them both and the audience cheered and clapped excitedly.

Oscar nodded, waiting for the overworked crowd to quieten a little before he spoke. “Dean and I came up with this character sometime around the middle of the first season and we just laughed our heads off everytime he came up in conversation. I could just picture him in my head so clearly, his voice, how he would walk. Dean spent about a year trying to convince me to play the character myself, until I finally relented. I think you’re all going to love him!”

“Speaking of Dean…” the presenter moved on coyly. “I know that fans of The Silence were freaking out when it was announced that you two were actually together in real life, but now it seems that the pair of you are fast becoming the new power couple of Holywood. Which, forgive me for saying this,” he smiled as a picture of Dean came up on the screen behind him, “somehow seems incredibly unlikely!”

His meaning was clear by the choice of picture up on show. There was Dean, in character, shirtless and gorging on a large bowl of ice cream that his sexy and hilarious on-screen feeder wife had just served to him. Oscar sighed in satisfaction. It was an image from the beginning of season two, and Dean was now a lot fatter than even that. “Awh! Isn’t he adorable!” Oscar smiled, making the audience laugh.

“His dedication to the role is outstanding!” the presenter went on. “There’s no way I would gain two hundred pounds for a role like he has.”

Just as expected, a shot of a shirtless and pumped Dean from ‘The Silence’ popped up side by side with another image of him, standing with his new, large and rounded belly at over four hundred pounds. But it wasn’t just the large stomach that was the biggest difference; the fat around his face had made him appear like someone almost completely different, and Dean had been surprisingly joyous as his incredible pecs melted into giant, jiggly moobs. The definition in his arms was gone, but its legacy was apparent in how well he piled fat in those area; making him look even more monstrous than before. His thighs too, once so muscular, had now been coated with a thick layer of fat, giving him an even wider stance as he stood and posed for the shot. Oscar could only gaze at the screen for a brief second before he felt the blood pumping into his groin.

“Don’t you miss the hot guy on the left?” the presenter asked, pointing to the before picture of Dean.

“Not at all!” Oscar laughed. “That guy on the left was an arsehole! I’ve spoken about this before, but the first three years of working on The Silence were awful. I hated him!” he smiled, making the audience laugh at the irony. “He was just trying to be someone he’s not,” Oscar pointed at the screen. “Now he’s much more comfortable in himself as a big guy.”

“Well, it doesn’t seem to have harmed his career at all. If Holywood needs a… larger gentleman,” he tried senstitively, emitting titters from the crowds, “Dean seems to be on everyone’s speed dial. I’ve lost count of how many movies I’ve seen him in in the last couple years!”

“He’s a very busy boy!” Oscar nodded proudly, seeing that the production crew were signalling to wrap things up for a commercial break. Just in time as well; there was only so long that Oscar could discuss Dean’s incredible growth without flushing a bright red with arousal.

Back at home that evening, Oscar only had a short wait for his lover to return; just enough time to prepare his calorie shake and leave the ice cream out to soften.

“I’m home!” the big man called as he strolled in, immediately removing his shirt and unbuckling his pants, letting his large, open belt swing at the crotch as he pounded into the kitchen.

“Mmm! There’s my beautiful fat boy!” Oscar grinned, heading over to Dean to greet him. “I can see you’ve eaten well today,” he smiled, rubbing his hand across the man’s large stomach and feeling that it was tight. In contrast to what many might have thought, movie sets were a surprisingly awesome place to fatten up, considering the constant on-site catering that was available.

“I gorged like a little piggy all day long, just for you…” he teased, kissing his lover once more. “Is my shake ready?” Dean asked; his excited boner already pushing up against the fat that had invaded his crotch.

“What do you think?” Oscar smiled back, proud that Dean was still so keen to pump himself up with fat and calories. He watched on as the fat man strolled ahead to the counter; the fat rippling and jiggling in his love handles and the altogether new way he was walking with such a wide rear on him now. Then the four hundred and forty pound guy lifted that shake to his lips and began the chug; his free hand unable to resist the temptation of rubbing the soft fat of his underbelly, grabbing and jiggling it for his own pleasure. Then he put the empty jug down, burped loudly, before taking the second one to his lips and annihilating that too. “What’s for dinner?” he asked, grabbing the spoon and open carton of ice cream to begin that next.

“Grilled chicken salad,” Oscar lied jokingly, making Dean laugh. They’d plotted a storyline for the end of season three where Dean would have to be visibly fatter in order for it to work, igniting their shared passion for overindulging Dean more than ever. Whole new realms of obesity and gluttony. Five hundred pounds had seemed like a fantasy for so long. Now it felt like it was just around the corner. “No, don’t worry, Fatso…” he smiled, walking over to side-hug the big man and appreciate just how wide and thick he was still getting, “...you won’t be disappointed!”

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asvterias · 1 year

Text

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟧: 𝖧𝗂𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇 𝖥𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌

Series Masterlist || The Cast || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

chapter warnings: minor cursing, a lot of foreshadowing, heated makeout, making of hickeys & some angst

chapter pairings: lynn loud x black!fem!reader, platonic!lynn’s baseball team x platonic!reader, ex gf!angelina x ex gf!reader

word count: 5.0k+

tag list: @sheluvv-jen

author’s note: i may have made this chapter dramatic but i don’t care, cause who doesn’t like in your feels angst?

also send me a private message, an ask, or leave a comment if you want to be apart of the taglist!

It was finally Halloween season, and you were ecstatic about the holiday. If you were being honest, Halloween was your favorite holiday, and Christmas ranged in a close second. Back in your old town, you and your sisters were partially known for hosting epic Halloween parties and you wanted to continue it in Royal Woods. You would call it a tradition, sharing an event with your sisters and enjoying them to the fullest. So you convinced your parents into allowing you to have the party and they agreed.

The week before Halloween, you and your sisters went decor shopping for party supplies. You were in charge of putting the food and drinks together. When you went grocery shopping, you stashed a trolley full of various snacks that was mainly popular with your peers. You pre-ordered dozens of cookies and cupcakes, 5 different kinds of cakes, all topped off with Halloween themes. The sodas were doubled, guessing how many people would be there.

It was a family effort to decorate the house and make everything appealing to the eye. Although it was an intense hassle to remain extravagant when it came to decorating the house yet you just love the priceless looks from the guests when they walk in.

You had texted Lynn three days in advance before the party.

new girl ☺️❤️

hey lynn, what are your halloween plans this year?

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

idk probably watching shitty horror movies and babysitting my younger siblings while trick and treating

new girl ☺️❤️

well cancel your plans

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

what?? why??

new girl ☺️❤️

oh pls don’t tell me you’d rather be at home

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

i never said that

new girl ☺️❤️

great, party at my house, you’re invited

costumes are mandatory

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

holy shit! are your parents cool with that?

new girl ☺️❤️

ofc they’re cool with it

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

well, do i get to bring anyone?

new girl ☺️❤️

ofc

just do me a favor lynn

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

and what’s that??

new girl ☺️❤️

wear a decent costume

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

haha!! haha!!!

you’re so funny 🙄

new girl ☺️❤️

i’m being fr though

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

do you wanna do a couple’s outfit?

cs if that’s what you’re suggesting then i’m down

new girl ☺️❤️

just surprise me

blow my mind

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

my current mission: surprise the fuck out of [name] with my outfit at her party, got it!

new girl ☺️❤️

can’t wait to see you!

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

what are you wearing for the party??

new girl ☺️❤️

that’s for me to know and for you to find out

baseball girl ⚾️❤️

i’m sure whatever you’re dressing as, you’re gonna look super hot in

*new girl ☺️❤️ liked your message*

That was three days ago and today was the party. It was nearing nightfall and your parents knew to get lost, spending their night at a hotel.

Your fairy costume was plain and simple, you didn’t tend to go all out when costume hunting. As long as you looked decent, you weren’t worried about other people’s opinions. Madison was dressed as a witch and Cassandra as Dionne Davenport from Clueless. In the middle of getting dressed, Cassandra offered to do your makeup. She had her makeup supplies stored in an organized box on her vanity mirror.

“Oh, I missed this…” She deeply exhaled, starting with your eyeliner, “Just us two, [Name] and Cass, me doing your makeup and giving you dating advice.”

“We’re always gonna be like this,” Your eyes flutter back as the eyeliner pencil draws underneath your eye.

She stops midway, dropping her working hand and she arches an eyebrow at you, “Really? Even when we’re both gross and old.”

“Yes!! Even if when we’re both gross and old.” You chuckle as she resumes doing your other eyeliner.

She placed the eyeliner pencil down and picks up the mascara, opening the tube and starting it on your face. “No, but when you start dating, you’ll have no more time for your big sis.”

There was a beat of silence followed by hesitation in your voice. You decided to speak anyway, not allowing your first heartbreak to keep you silent. “You know that this isn’t my first time dating, right, Cass?”

She immediately shushes you with a well-polished finger pressed upon your lips. “Nope, nope, we’re not doing that. You’ll remind yourself about that she-devil and you’re grumpy for the rest of the night and if we’re being honest I don’t like a moody [name].”

“I’m just putting things in perspective, Lynn won’t be my first love.” You shrug before backtracking on your former statement, “That if she feels the same way that I do, and we start dating.”

“Promise me that you’re gonna take your mind off that girl.” Cassandra pleads, “Trust me, you’re better off without her. She hurt you too many times and that’s unforgivable.”

“Okay, fine.” You sigh, “I promise to not bring down my mood for the entire night,”

“Great, no more depressing heartbreak shit to remember, that’s all in the past.” Your eldest sister stares at you with a serious expression, clearly not buying your faux response and she moves to grab a lipstick tube from her dresser. “You are gonna blow Lynn’s mind when she sees you,” Cassandra mumbles, smearing the black lipstick across your lips.

“I’m not sure about blowing her mind.” You mutter, smacking your lips together when she finishes doing your lips.

“[Name], you look jaw-dropping in this outfit, Lynn would be a fool not to see that. Besides, if she doesn’t, you always have other options.”

Madison walks into the room, dressed in her full costume. “Stop trying to turn our beloved baby sister into you.”

“Oh, please, being me took years to perfect, I doubt [Name] can do it in one day.” She closes the lipstick tube, placing it back on her vanity stand.

“What’s that in your hand, Maddy?” You observed the piece of jewelry in her hand.

“It’s a choker and you’re gonna wear it.” She said, briefly showing you the jewelry before clasping it around your neck.

You looked in the mirror, admiring your new accessory to your costume with a warm smile. The black gothic choker adorned your outfit even more, giving it the final touch that you didn’t even know that you needed.

“Lynn will be absolutely speechless once she sees you,”Madison comments with a teasing grin. You blush upon hearing your crush’s name and that gave your sisters the opportunity to begin their teasing.

“Ohhh…she’s blushing!” Cassandra notices the flush on your cheeks.

“[Name] and Lynn sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!” Madison starts her new method of taunting.

“Oh shut up!” You yell, covering your face but they continued their rambles.

Cassandra joined in the singing, “First comes love, then comes marriage then comes a baby sitting in a carriage.”

The party set off to a good start, with numerous people by the front door, waiting to enter. When the crowd entered, the party was in full swing, and the decorations were amazing. Numerous tables were prepping up the foods, snacks, and drinks all covered with frilly Halloween decor.

Gabriella’s costume was one of many Harley Quinn famous outfits, the black and red one. Lynn is dressed as a cheerleader with the colors of black, red, and white, the fake blood splattering across her legs and face. Her friend, Margo was dressed as a biker girl with the colors black and white.

“You’re a cute cheerleader,” You flirt, “But where’s your two poms-poms, it’s required for a cheerleader to have them.” Lynn shows you two matching pom-poms, tickling them in your face, hearing you giggle made her blush.

“And you’re a very hot fairy.” She winks, playing with the synthetic wings attached to your back. “Might have to be by your side for the whole night because I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Gabriella pulls you away from Lynn, dragging you into the foyer of the kitchen.

“I want you to meet someone.” She says before stopping in front of a boy.

“Hey, I’m Marcus.” He was of average height and had a slim figure with decent looks and hairstyle.

“Hi, I’m [Name]!”

“I’ll let you two get to know each other,” Natalie disappears, leaving you and Marcus to converse.

“Woah, isn’t that your girl snatched up with some dude?” Margo taunts, pointing in your direction. Lynn turns her head so fast, that she could’ve gotten whiplash from it. From a few feet away, she noticed you and a raven-haired boy talking. Her heart fumes with jealousy and possessiveness, observing your interaction with the boy.

“[Name] isn’t my girl, Margo.” The brunette corrects her best friend, finally breaking her gaze away from you.

“Well, if you don’t make her your girl soon, then she’ll be somebody’s else girl.” Margo counters, taking a sip from her drink.

That was the ticking words to set Lynn’s jealousy off and she stormed over in your direction, shoving people who managed to get in her way.

Margo screams over the music, watching her best friend head towards you, “Hell yeah, Lynn. Go get your girl!”

When Lynn finally reaches you, she hastily inserts herself into your conversation.

“Oh, hey Lynn.” You greet her for the second time today. She releases a scoff and nothing else as she glared down at the boy.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Her question was aimed at you yet her gaze never falters from the raven-haired boy.

“Well, can it wait!” Marcus sharply responded instead of you, “If you didn’t know, we were having a conversation before you interrupted us.”

Lynn got up in his face, her tallness intimidating her demeanor, “Ok…listen here, buddy boy—“

You grab Lynn by her arm, tugging her away from Marcus as he backs away as well. You harshly glared down at the both of them and shouted, “Let’s play seven minutes in heaven, everyone!” There were yells of agreement as Marcus scoffs, looking Lynn up and down, and walks away.

“What’s your issue, Lynn?”

“What’s my issue?” She looks at you shocked, “What’s your issue?

“It’s a party, Lynn, it’s supposed to be fun, why can’t you have fun?”

“I’m having fun.”

“Almost starting a fight is not fun.” You cross your arms defensively.

“Depends on which perspective you’re seeing from.” She continues.

“Wanna tell me the real reason that you were hostile with Marcus.”

“Fine,” she groans, dropping her head back before looking back at you. “I didn’t like how Marcus was looking at you. I would rather you hang out with someone you knew, like me and my friends.”

“I thought you didn’t want me hanging around your friends.”

“What gave you that impression? Of course, I want you to hang out with my friends, I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to.”

“Aww…I love sweet Lynn.” You coo, bringing her in for a cheek kiss. “Come on, let’s go. With your luck, we just might end up in the closet together.”

She blushes at the possibility of you and her in the closet.

Everyone started to file into the huge living room, you and Lynn being one the last to enter. You sat on a beanbag with Lynn squished beside you as everyone else gathered around in a huge circle. To give it a rocking twist to it, you combined another party game favorite: Spin the Bottle. The rules were simple, you spin the bottle and whoever it lands on, you spend 7 minutes in the closet with them.

“Ok, I’ll go first then.” Gabriella offers, spinning the bottle with a nifty grip. The bottle finally halts, landing on Margo as the crowd cheers.

“Well shit, let’s do it then.” Margo nonchalantly smiles as she gets up, letting Gabriella drag her into the closet as the door shut behind them. There were multiple cheers, mainly coming from the baseball team and Lynn.

You started the timer on your phone, everyone anxiously awaiting the two girls. When the timer was finished, the two teen girls walked out. Their hair was disheveled and faded marks of Gabriella’s lipstick across Margo’s neck.

“Since when were they together?” you whispered over at Lynn who looked just as shocked as you. Finally looking at you, she shrugs and they leave the living room, heading outside for privacy.

“Totally beats me.”

“Okay, who’s next?!” Luna shouts.

“I’ll go,” You suggest, grabbing the bottle and steadily spinning it. The bottle chooses its other person and horrifically lands on Marcus.

“Let’s get this over with.” You mutter, rising from your beanbag chair and heading to the closet with Marcus. You failed to notice Lynn’s clenched hands.

During your time spent in the closet with the boy, he tried to make conversation but you only responded with short answers. The raven-haired boy decided to flirt with you instead, moving closer to you as you backed away. Eventually, you ran out of space to maintain distance and you felt trapped. Out of instinct, you slapped him across his face, pushed him away from you, and stormed out of the closet.

Everyone else waits for Marcus to reveal himself and when he does, a handprint was embedded on his right cheek. Lynn smiles at his new bruise, aware that you rejected his advances.

Quite frankly, you were getting tired of this game and randomly felt like taking a swim in your pool with Lynn. However, you spun the bottle, eagerly watching it slowly down to settle on Angelina. Your small smile instantly dropped at this revelation. This can’t be happening to you. There was no fucking way that you were going to be trapped in a small closet with your ex-girlfriend for an entire seven minutes.

Angelina Ross is played by Siena Agudong and she’s wearing a pirate costume.

“Nope, I wanna redo.” You grabbed the bottle, ready to spin it but her voice stops you.

“Rules are rules, [name].”

“In my house, they apply for you, not for me.”

“Never took you for a quitter.”

“Oh, I’m anything but a quitter.”

“Sure doesn’t look that way to me now.”

“Listen he—“

“Then why won’t you accept that you landed on me and go in the closet with me? I just want to talk, [name].”

“Okay, you can talk, everyone’s listening.”

Everyone’s eyes were on the brunette girl, eager to hear your business, no doubt, probably turning it into gossip when school opens.

“Do you really wanna do this in front of all these people, no less, complete strangers?” She had a fair point and you couldn’t disagree on that. “We have history together, it doesn’t matter if you try to erase it.”

“Yeah, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

“History? What kind of history do you two have together?” Lynn asked you. Her question flew in one ear and out of the other as your eyes remained stuck on Angelina.

“You need to leave!” Cassandra announces, her tone filled with detest for Angelina. “You’re not welcome here and you never will be!”

She ignored Cassandra and patiently looked at you, waiting for an answer.

“One thing about you is that you sure know how to suck the joy out of people.” You tiredly got up and made your way back into the closet with Angelina following closely behind.

Once the door closes, Angelina was quick with her statements but you were faster.

“What are you doing here at my party?” You question, hostility in your tone, “No, better, yet, how did you know where I live?”

“I’m here visiting my grandparents for a mini Halloween holiday.” She explains, “And I saw the invitations around and decided to pop by, to see how you were doing.”

“Well, glad you popped by and now you can pop leave!”

“I swear, that I didn’t know that you were moving in Royal Woods, that’s just a coincidence.”

“Cut the bullshit, Angelina. Why are you really here?”

She stepped closer to you, a defeated sigh escaping her lips when you back away from her. You were already in a confined space, you didn’t need to be in forced proximity to your cheating ex-girlfriend. “I totally deserved that…” she mutters, looking down at the floor shortly before her eyes adjust back to you, “I wanted to say that I was sorry. For everything, with what happened to us. I know that I can’t take it back bu—“

“You’re right, you can’t take back any of it. No…no, sorry is when you forget a birthday or anniversary. Your messed up version of a sorry involves berating me and my sexuality, leading your boy best friend on thinking that you’re interested in him, and cheating on me, knowing that you were a lesbian.” you snapped at her, “You really hurt me, Lina.”

“I know and I’m sorry…nothing that I do can change my horrible actions.” She held her head down shamefully, not daring to look into your eyes.

“I’m gonna need a lot more than sorry from you, Angelina.” You concluded with a heavy sigh. You heard Lynn shout about the time being finished and her tone was hasty.

Both of you exited the closet and Angelina left the party as you took your seat next to Lynn.

“What did you guys do in there?”

“Nothing that mattered,”

She examines your facial features, seeing the gleam in your eyes and your upbeat personality vanish. She wanted to brighten up your mood, and she knew exactly what to do.

Lynn spins the bottle and it lands on you, excitedly she gets up and drags you to the closet. As soon as the door closed, Lynn pounced on you like a wild animal, pinning you to the door. She had trapped you in her arms, and you didn’t put up a fight against her, rather liking the position that you were in. In her eyes, jealousy and possessiveness were floating around. Who knew that jealousy made Lynn so hot?

You stared each other down, both of your pupils dilating from lust, practically urging the other to make the first move and take control of the heated situation. There was something about Lynn’s eyes that you made weak in the knees and completely at her mercy.

Those seconds of silence felt like minutes without the use of movements as well. Without breaking the intense eye contact, Lynn gently let her arms go and placed her own hands at her side.

Inhaling sharply, Lynn’s hand cups your face, pulling you into an electrifying kiss. You were rendered speechless, eyes widening momentarily before melting into the kiss, letting yourself drown in the bliss as you closed your eyes. Trailing your arms down to Lynn’s waist and wrapping into your embrace, sealing your closeness. Her lips were so soft and gentle against yours.

Her hands found the clip holding up your fake wings and snapping it off. Once they hit the floor, Lynn grabbed you by the waist, slamming you into the door, loud enough for everyone else to be aware of what was going on. So without further hesitation, her lips discovered yours in a hot minute and you unloosed her ponytail, tangling your fingers through Lynn’s free hair.

She mutters in your ear, “Jump!” And you were quick to follow through with her instructions. You jumped up and Lynn catches you with ease, her hands resting underneath your thighs, feeling the bare flesh.

“You are so gorgeous,” She pulls away, admiring your blissful state and dilated eyes. Examining your swollen lips and a cocky smirk appears on her lips. “My pretty girl, I get to have you all to myself.”

During your makeout, you manage to undo your choker, flinging the jewelry away, not finding its purpose anymore.

Just then, her kisses started to travel further down to your neck, placing open-mouth kisses there. A tiny whimper escaped your lips when you felt Lynn briefly bite down on your exposed neck, creating a bruise. Soon enough the pain turned into pleasure as you noticed her sucking on your neck, giving you a noticeable hickey.

“Oh, Lynn…” You moaned out.

Your hand gripped the back of Lynn’s head as if your life depended on it. She continued to ravage your neck, almost feeling a primal instinct. She sucks harshly on your neck, marking you profoundly to her liking.

Her overwhelming thoughts had different ways of this current situation and they all lead up to the same conclusion. You and her, all alone at last. There were no more judging eyes, just your [eye color] invested into her brown-amber eyes. And that’s how Lynn liked it, in the privacy of her mind, not worrying about another’s reaction. All she cared about was your reaction and that was all she needed.

Lynn didn’t know how long she truly craved this part of intimacy with you, but she knew that it was rooted deeply within her. You dreamed of this moment ever since you saw her in the navy blue blazer back at her house. That blazer made your thoughts run wild, and you felt ashamed wondering if Lynn was a definite girl kisser and if she was, what kind of kisser would she be? Rough and demanding or soft and sweet. Somehow, she combined all of those methods and still made you feel heavily desired.

Your touch gently grazes the sides of her skirts, being extremely careful of where your fingers might linger where they’re not supposed to.

Eventually, you both had to pull away as you pressed your foreheads together, trying to regain your breathing and composure. The sounds of heavy pants filled the tiny closet.

“I don’t know what came over me…” she mutters, forcefully removing herself from your embrace. She recognizes the shocked expression on your face, and she couldn’t help but felt guilty and slightly ashamed of her self-control when she was around you.

“It’s fine, Lynn.” You chuckle, trying not to take her shove to heart. Ignoring the way that your heartbeat is erratic as your thoughts were still hazy. She made you feel this way, and she knew that you loved it just as much as you did to her. “Obviously, I liked it very much since I didn’t reject it, or else this night would’ve gone way worse.”

“[Name]……”

You talked over her, “Who knew that we’d be here?”

“[Name]……”

“Guess it is kinda ironic that we’re making out in a closet even though you are still in the closet.”

“[Name]……”

“What does this make us now, Lynn? Like, are we a couple or just friends who randomly makeout from time to time?”

“[Name]!” She yells, having the chance of voicing her thoughts in the conversation.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I totally forgot th—“

“[Name], I need space. Space from me, space from us!”You shook your head, bewildered by her sudden outburst towards you.

You swear that you could have blamed your hearing for being faulty at the moment. What did she mean by that? Was she being for real or just joking, wanting to get a rise out of you? She wanted space, being more specific, she demanded space from you. So what was the reason for her upbringing demand? Her words hit you like speeding bullets, all coming at you all at once, in every direction, and it wounded you like a bitch.

Does she want to break up your situationship before it can officially start? Or did she realize what you and Angelina were, wanting no part of being a rebound for you. Because that was ridiculous, your relationship with Angelina was in the past, and that’s all it will ever be, you weren’t heartless to rebound with Lynn.

Did she realize in the kiss that she needed space from you, that you weren’t the person that she needs at the moment?What did you do wrong to make her feel like this? Was it you or was it her? Did she actually have plausible reasoning for this?

“Space? Why do you need space?”

She remains silent, rehearsing the words in her head, but not speaking out on your behalf. If she, somehow, had the perfect words to soothe you, she wouldn’t waste a second to make things right but she didn’t…and it was eating away at her agonizingly. She felt her heart break at the miserable sight of the pain overtaking your features.

That was the last thing that she wanted to do, that she wanted to witness, to see you in pain. Lynn hated herself for being the one that would be causing you to feel upset.

“I need to figure out my sexuality.” She managed to say. “And I can’t do that with you around.” She didn’t mean for her statement to come off as blatantly rude, but it did and stung you, hard.

“I want you to leave, Lynn.” Tears clouded your vision, avoiding her remorseful gaze as you pointed to the door.

“[Name]…” She tried to convince you to think this through. “Let’s go upstairs to your room, and figure this out.”

“No, I don’t want to figure this out in my bedroom! I want you to tell me the truth!”

“I can’t tell you the truth right now because I don’t even know myself.” She scoffs, slapping her hands at her sides.

“Shit, I need to wrap my whole head around me liking girls- well a girl. Trust me, it isn’t anything personal at all, it’s just that I want to explore my sexuality before we start to date. After I do figure out my sexuality, I need the time to come out to my family.”

“I’m not rushing you to discover your sexuality or give you time to come out to your family, I would never do that to you! I just hated how you kissed me like that, and that you’re gonna leave me high and dry for a couple of days, probably even weeks!! Why would you kiss me so passionately and….I don’t fucking know, Lynn! You have these glorious soft magical lips which work wonders but your brain’s too stubborn to act accordingly.”

Again she didn’t answer you, and this time her silence was running your patience very thin.

“Fine, then!” You sniffle, wiping the ongoing tears, “Then I’ll leave so you can get extra space from me.” Your hand hovers over the doorknob, hearing movement from behind you.

Before you could have comprehended your senses, she swiftly spins you around and passionately kisses you with her hands cupping your face. Fighting the temptation to reciprocate the kiss, her lips were pressed against yours before you finally detached yourself from her. Lynn’s tears were running freely down her face, and you felt too numb to reassure yourself, you could barely comfort Lynn.

“I can’t help you figure out your sexuality, Lynn. That’s all on you.” Was the final statement that you could’ve mustered up at her, harshly pushing her away from you. You opened the door, storming out of the closet, ignoring the many eyes directed at you. On the way upstairs, you ignored your sisters calling out to you.

She had to discover herself, you couldn’t blame her for that but all while putting you in the middle of it, tore you apart. You were beginning to truly love Lynn as she aggressive as she is.

You just hated how her kiss was filled with passion that would keep you dreaming about it for days.

This wasn’t her fault and you understood exactly what she’s going through right now. You were dashing through sexualities like it was hopscotch, the entire ordeal was completely haywire.

You angrily made your way to your bedroom, not caring about your reputation now. Jumping on your bed face first as you scream muffled through the pillows as you cried. You cried, hoping to relieve yourself from this pain, but your mind replays back to Lynn and the conversation. To be honest, you wanted everyone to leave, including Lynn. No loud music to hurt your aching headache any further, just pure tranquility.

The tears didn’t stop flowing, they just began rushing at a faster pace, faster than you can handle. There was a knock at the door, interrupting your crying session. You ceased your tears, suppressing your sniffles as a way to keep silent, hoping that the person will leave you alone.

Although, the knocker was persistent and opened the door, revealing to be your best friend, Gabriella. She walks in and closes the door behind her.

“Didn’t you ditch with Margo?” You lift your head from your pillows, watching her with blurry attentive eyes.

Sitting on your bed, scooting over to you, “Yeah, but you’re more important right now.” A beat of silence wafted after her sentence, leaving you confused about your next words.

“Will you just hold me?” You mumble, tears prickling your eyes as you sit up.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” She opened her arms for you, sighing when you instantly hugged her tightly as if she was leaving you as well.

And she held you as you cried your heart out, feeling numb as you think about recurring events that lead up to your argument with Lynn. Were you too harsh on Lynn, refusing to see her side of the story, leading up to the ruin of your whole relationship?

Gabriella whispered nothing but meaningful words into your ears as she rubbed your back soothingly. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day because today felt like hell, and you were too exhausted, both emotionally, mentally, and physically.

#the really loud house #annaka fourneret #lynn loud #lynn loud x reader #lynn loud jr x fem!reader #lynn loud x black!reader #lynn loud jr #lynn loud jr x reader #lynn loud x fem!reader #lynn loud jr x black!reader

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dozing-marshmallow · 2 months

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Can you make Don x co-host!reader (nonbinary) where reader was once Chris's co-host, but because he treated them like crap they decide to quit him before they start working together with Don? It's more like a platonic scenario, but if you want, you can make it romantic

Ohhh of course! Hope you enjoy!!

Just to clarify, I haven’t watched the Ridonculous Race and I don’t plan to, but I have read up on the cast and the premise so excuse me if there’s any inaccuracies with Don’s character.

DON X CO-HOST!READER ONE SHOT

Underpaid and mistreated (Y/N), your boss Chris McLean ordered you to conduct one of the interviews for the next season host position.

You forgot why you even wanted to work here.

"Start by working with someone who's more experienced" they said "You'll get your chance at fame in no time" they said.

Fame. Hah. Good one.

You walk down to Ground Floor and saw an unfamiliar man sitting in the waiting lobby. His hair was a neat chestnut colour, he had a clean face and wore a tidy suit.

You approach him,"Hello, you must be the candidate for the new season host."

The man glances up and stands tall,“Yes, that would be me.”

“Excellent. This way please.”

He follows you into the office.

“I must say, it’s a great honour to be interviewed by you.” the gentleman claims as he sits up straight in the chair.

“Oh, thank you.” you’ve done this long enough to keep a straight face whenever someone attempts flattery,“Alright, so good morning, I hope you are well. As you’re aware, I am (Y/N) (L/N), current co-host of the Total Drama show and I will be conducting your interview today. First and foremost, have you watched Total Drama and are aware of what it involves?”

“Of course.”

The rest of the interview went as expected until the end.

"Finally, do you have any questions for me?” you asked, your tone still devoid of excitement.

“Yes." The man, whose name was Don, answered,"I wanted to ask if you’re happy with your job.”

“Huh?” you gaze up from your note taking to meet Don's attentive, geniune one.

“Yeah, uh." a jocund smile breaks out on his lips,"You don’t seem very delighted, especially when we were talking about your boss. I must say, you don’t seem too fond of him.”

...This took an unusual turn,“Who, Chris? Nah, he’s fine. He’s just got a lot of flaws, but we all do.”

He leans in marginally,“Well judging by your expression, you seem like you could use some new company.”

“Is this your way of trying to charm me into getting you to be more considered than other applicants?” you ask, piling the papers up and hitting them on the table to even them out.

“Not at all. All I’m saying is that this job, is a pretty big deal and should I be lucky to get it, I wanna take you with me.”

As if this interview couldn't have gotten weirder,“Why? This job description mentions that a co-host of any sort will not be necessary.”

“When was the last time your boss gave you a vacation?”

Good point. Chris never pays you enough to miss a day or two for yourself.

“Look, I’ll even add it at the bottom of my contract.” Don declared and he did, as much as he could fit.

You smirk,“Well, alright then. Sign it whenever you’re ready.”

"You have my word." he affirms, scratching his signature on the line of dots,"I'm specifically keen on sticking to rules and deals."

It sounded too good...“Just so you know, this decision is ultimately up to Team Total Drama.” you remind, making it clear you could not promise anything.

His ambition did not fade a bit,“Influenced by the feedback you give.”

Why hadn't they hired someone like him from the beginning?

Better late than never.

Yep. He was hired!

When you heard it, you immediately revoked your contract with Chris; although a very insulting farewell, it didn't stop your feeling of freedom nor how Ridonculous Race was like World Tour, but a gazillion times better.

You thought it was just you, but one day, a few months after the full season was aired, you had an encounter with Don that would change everything.

"Would you look at that! This year's season of Total Drama has gained more fan approval than the three seasons Chris hosted in the previous years combined!"

Your eyebrow perks up in surprise,"Really?"

He nods, proudly showing you the numbers on his tablet,"It's quite the sight!"

You take a glance.

And another.

You couldn't believe it. These ratings were phenomenal. Just phenomenonal. You thought it was a joke, but after confirming the legitimacy of the site to yourself, your jaw drops.

"You know what this shows?" Don asks, holding the tablet to his side.

"What does it show, Don?" the mesmerised repeat left your tongue rhetorically.

"One, the network was completely right about accepting a new host this time around." he triumphantly lists,"And two, I was completely right about bringing you alongside me."

You couldn't resist the smile on your face at the beauty of how well things turned out,"Well, colour me impressed."

"It seems like our former host lost more than he bargained for." he grins, curling his arm around your neck,"You're not planning on going back to him in case he gets another season launched, are you?"

You granted him a heartless laugh, fingers reaching to his hand,"Never again."

#tdi #tdi x reader #total drama #request #td don #td ridonculous race #total drama ridonculous race #td ridonculous race don x reader #td don x reader #tdi don

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santacoppelia · 8 months

Note

Do you have any favorite Good Omens fics you would recommend, or have you written any?

Hi there!!!

Oh, dear, I have A TON! I'm not sure if they would be "new", but here I go, nonetheless. I read a lot of AU fics (and I'm writing one), so I hope it's not a pet peeve of yours! I'll try to limit myself and not recommend things that I have seen recommended a lot (like "Factory Settings", "the therapy one with the impossibly long name" LOL, "Slow Show", "Oopsie Omens"... I'll make a couple of exceptions, tho). I also read a lot of WIP's, love angst, hurt/comfort and fluff, and prefer skipping over smut (Not a against it per se, love sexy times with feelings), so my selection is... Very particular. Here it goes!!

Demon and Angel Professors: I adore this series of short fics. There are 200 of them in the collection, they all are 666 words long, and both the guys and the new characters are absolutely endearing. The diversity of the cast was a welcome addition.

Listen, Will You Learn To Hear Me From Afar?: This one is short, a little sad but very, very sweet. Aziraphale starts receiving flowers and poems every three years, after Crowley disappears in Edinburgh. I loved the poetry selection.

Stalwart Sun, Wily Moon: Probably, my first AU and the one that started it all. I'm pretty sure this is one of the "everyone and their grannies have already read this", but I adore the relationships, the way the characters transformed by entering this universe (Crowley being a fantastic art thief with a magnificent taste for clothes was something I never knew I needed). I would absolutely watch an adaptation of this fic to the screens.

Too Wise To Woo Peaceably: This one is, probably, another one of the "everyone has read this fic and I don't care", but I really feel deeply about it and its author. It was a tour the force, with daily posting and the author reading and answering the comments EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Feral But Fluffy brought me single-handedly into being an active participant in this fandom instead of just lurking in the corners. It's a fantastic continuation from the ending of Season 2, with a lot of angst, hurt, laugh and comfort. And Muriel rings absolutely true in here.

Give A Man A Mask: Another one by Feral! This one is a beautiful seduction game, taking Venice and a Masquerade as the background. Sexy, exciting, and hurtful at the same time.

Postcards From Paris: I find myself absolutely enraptured by the AUs created by Ghostrat (and their illustrations!! I use his AU Streamer!Crowley as my laptop wallpaper), but this one is very close to my heart. One lonely lawyer starts receiving postcards addressed to the previous tenant, signed by one AZF. The concept and execution are lovely. His Streamers AU is also very funny, and the Professors AU (Mon Horrible Cheri) is one of the "must reads with a lot of hits that recommends by itself".

Husband Material: This AU has made me laugh A LOT. Crowley is a wedding planner... And he has to plan the wedding of "the one who got away", Aziraphale. It is still a WIP, and it lights my day whenever it appears in my inbox.

Shepherds of the Damned: an after S2 work, the Crowley recovery arc in this fic had my heart leaping. It is also gripping and full with angst and action. A very noble S3, if you ask me.

Symphony of Second Chances: in this AU, Crowley is a drummer, recovering from a terrible shoulder injury and trying to get back to his place in the orchestra. Aziraphale is the visiting director for the next season... And they are absolutely smitten with each other. A lot of hurt and the sweetest comfort ever (it made me want an Aziraphale in my life more than ever). Still a WIP.

The Anon Before Christmas: This fic was pure happiness and tooth rotting fluff, ideal for December, with a warm cup of cocoa. They are humans and have the nicest group of friends one can ever imagine... But they loathe each other. Of course, one meddling Anathema makes sure to make Crowley Aziraphale's Secret Santa.

To Love The Stars Too Fondly: Another fantastic post S2 fic, filled with love and angst and adventure and all the right things to make it a gripping read, and a GREAT ending. Another take that could be a satisfying alternate canon.

Because We Are Carying The Fire: A horror AU! Aziraphale is a professor with a PhD in parapsychology, and one day he receives a mysterious book. Weird things happen, and he looks for the help of Crowley, a podcaster and self appointed demon expert. It is a WIP, and it really delivers. It is romantic and terrifying at the same time.

And my works!

I've written a short fic, Rebellion, speculating with the causes of The Starmaker's Fall. It came from a prompt imagining "what if rebel angels had been creating alternative lifeforms in the Universe", and it turned slightly dark (because I'm me). I'm also writing and publishing a longer fic, Under The Fold, an AU where AZ Fell and AJ Crowley are journalists who made an exposé that put them in danger and where they will have to use all of their researching abilities to bring justice (and avoid dangers). I've already written 2/3 of it, and half of it is already up, if you feel like reading it!

I enjoyed answering this entirely TOO MUCH. Take all this reading suggestions!

#good omens #good omens fanfics #fanfic recommendations #my one true talent is reading #hope you like at least a couple of these!#thanks for the ask!

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blackswaneuroparedux · 1 year

Text

Anonymous asked: Are you a Mission Impossible fan? I’m not a Tom Cruise fan but it’s great dumb fun. And it has a cast full of talented (and beautiful) women. You seem the type to enjoy a good adrenaline rush of a flick (I’m sure the French have a fancy cinematic term for that)

I am unashamedly both a Mission Impossible fan - of the television series and the Cruise movies - and a Tom Cruise fan.

Obviously being born decades after the original Mission Impossible tv series created by Bruce Geller was first aired in the 60s and 70s, I only had the pleasure of watching the box set episodes later in life. I have to say I loved that series. I loved when they hatched the plan. Loved the fake masks. And of course I loved the Lao Schifrin music - one of the most recognisable signature themes in music and TV history.

Classic television has a bit of a blessing and a curse working on it. Most shows of the Golden Age of television didn't have a structured narrative through-line. The idea that one episode will build upon the next is a pretty modern concept. As such, Mission Impossible had a prescribed routine. Mr. Briggs in Season One and then Mr. Phelps in the subsequent seasons drive to a random location, find a hidden mission briefing that self destructs, discusses the plan with the team, and then they execute the mission.

There wasn't much variation to the structure. Thankfully by season three, they got rid of the silly waste of time where Jim Phelps selects his team - because aside from the random guest the team was virtually the same from episode to episode. The thing that changed was how the team pulled off their mission. It was always a mixture of subterfuge and fancy fakery, but it was always exciting and the great team of writers, directors, and the dynamic cast always kept the audience just enough out of the loop for there to be plenty of surprises and suspense.

It's not that Season One wasn't any good, but you could really feel the show was still working itself out. Steven Hill as original team leader Daniel Briggs is decent enough, but he's just not as interesting a performer as Peter Graves as Jim Phelps. Graves is indelible to the show. But it's not just who leads the team that made the show - it was the great actors who made up the series regulars. Greg Morris as Barney Collier and Peter Lupus as Willy Armitage are always great as the tech masters and inside guys who narrowly complete their tasks with milliseconds to spare. Husband and Wife duo Martin Landau as Rollin Hand and Barbara Bain as Cinnamon Carter really helped cement the show through the first three seasons.

So when I got around to watching Tom Cruise’s first Mission Impossible film I was a little miffed. It seemed like the story bumped off his team - a staple of the original tv series - within the first act and the rest of the film is on Cruise control ie it’s just about Ethan Hunt. But slowly as the other MI films came out I was won over. In fact in my mind I tend to think there are two Impossible Missions Force (IMF) operating in two different universes, just because the dynamics are different. That way I don’t waste time whining on which is better or poke holes in the Cruise films for its lack of purity to the original series. I prefer to enjoy both on their own separate terms.

To me Thomas Cruise Mapother IV is the biggest movie star in our current culture of excess entertainment. That’s my gut feeling. The definition of a movie star, in my personal opinion, has changed dramatically. There was a time and period when the movie star was defined by the name alone. If a Hollywood star had a film coming out people didn’t know what the film was, they just saw it because of who was in it: Will Smith or Jim Carrey or even Stallone and Schwarzenegger. No one else comes close.

The two exceptions might be Leonardo DiCaprio or Keanu Reeves. I think of the two Reeves comes closest because of the success of the franchises he’s been in - The Matrix and the John Wick franchises - but he’s not a movie star. What I mean he doesn’t behave like a movie star in the sense that he is not immersed in the film business as a business nor does he cultivate his star power (he prefers to travel around on a bus and sit on park benches looking forlorn) in the way Tom Cruise does.

Interestingly there are even few directors that can open a movie on name alone. Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino, and Steven Spielberg can still get people into the cinema based on their name alone, but the movie star, not so much. Audiences today want IP. They want franchises. However Tom Cruise has navigated all of that and consistently shifted.

Cruise’s dedication to big screen spectacle, also offset by interesting asides like American Made, and very underrated sci-fi and high concept films like Minority Report, Oblivion (very underrated) and Edge of Tomorrow, brings a sense of anticipation to his films. Maybe we’re there because we expect stunts, or we know that he’ll give nothing less than 100%, or it’s an example of a creatively driven project, rather than a marketing machine, but we still show up. It may not always go right, like the misfiring The Mummy or Jack Reacher (where he felt miscast in both), but Cruise has his sure-fires and his surprises.

When a movie like The Mummy doesn’t work out, he reimagines Mission: Impossible, and he is able to take what everyone loved in the 80s about Top Gun and magnify that to what the audience wants today. Honestly, did anyone expect Top Gun: Maverick to be the box office behemoth it has been? I expected it to impress, to be a good example of Cruise’s fervent passion for as much practical work as possible (as opposed to doing 95% with CGI), but after 36 years, that it’s his highest grossing film ever - and the highest-grossing movie of 2022 - is impressive.

It helps that he almost never 100 percent disappears into his roles; we still get that Tom Cruise smile and stare no matter who he’s playing. And the fact that he still looks like 1980s-era Tom Cruise only adds to the lustre. Indeed when Tom Cruise does it, whether that’s fighting for justice in a courtroom, making cocktails, jumping off a roof, flying a fighter jet, or even singing “I Want To Know What Love Is” shirtless while wearing leather pants, we’re like, ‘Sure. I buy that.’ He’s relatable even when what he’s doing on screen is so far removed from our reality that it’s insane. There is a grounded matinee idol musk to Cruise’s presence on screen that seems to transcend class and political divides. He’s America’s hero and the nice guy who is tough with a sensitive side, as well as the kind of wisdom that impresses but never intimidates. He’s Hollywood’s fine wine.

Tom Cruise is not only the biggest movie star working today, he’s the last movie star working today.

There are plenty of actors who people recognise, and the right combination of actor and role can still be explosive, like Keanu Reeves. But “Tom Holland as Spider-Man” is a very different thing than “Tom Holland as anything except Spider-Man,” and to some degree, that’s by design. Studios would rather own the biggest part of the equation. Tom Cruise doesn’t need your IP, though. Tom Cruise is the IP. People buy a ticket to see Tom Cruise, and they do that because Tom Cruise has figured out how to be the most Tom Cruise that any Tom Cruise could ever hope to be, and every time out, he does his very best to turn the Tom Cruise up just a little bit more.

When he was younger, Cruise built his career by trusting himself and his image to the very best directors he could find, slowly refining a certain kind of alpha masculine ideal. What makes his late-era stardom more remarkable is how he only transitioned into action movies once he was in his 40s, and he has pushed himself harder than arguably any action star of any age in the last few decades. When you see a Tom Cruise film and you see an insane stunt, part of the kick is knowing that’s really him and that he’s entering his fourth decade of being an icon.

That Cruise almost died after becoming entangled in his parachute in the water in Top Gun was somewhat irrelevant, because it was this first Mission: Impossible where Tom Cruise: Stunt Man was also born. From the infamous wire descent, to leaping out of a window to outrun a surge of water from the restaurant he’d just blown a window out from, Cruise was in on the action.

If audiences didn’t quite get that dedication to being visibly involved in the action then, they certainly would by the time he made the more action packed second film, directed by John Woo. M:I 2 cemented the lure of the Cruise stunt. From mountain leaps, to motorcycle rides and more, Cruise set a new expectation for his work going forward. It was a string to his bow, a selling point, and it has proven a tool of forgiveness and resurrection even as his career has threatened to implode under off screen contention.

I think that’s why we rush to go and see the next Mission Impossible film. It’s not for the thread-bare plot or the fantastic action - although it’s better than most action franchises these days. But it’s the mind blowing stunts which we know is not CGI driven nor is done by a stunt double. It’s done by Tom Cruise himself.

He is the Tom Brady/Mark Cavendish/Ronaldo/Roger Federer (delete as appropriate) of movie stars, not just because of his success, but the longevity of his career, as he has found ways to adapt to each change in the industry while also not giving in to what others have had to do.

The key thing is he adapts just enough to make it fresh. The Mission Impossible films are a case in point. Even as the stunts have got bigger, more dangerous, and more spectacular (as all franchise films must it seems), the characters portraits and arcs have got more intimate and more relatable.

In the MI movies he is of course super spy Ethan Hunt but he’s not super-human. But Tom Cruise’s secret is that even when appearing borderline super-human on screen, there’s still an air about him that makes the viewer want to be him or be with him and believe that’s possible. There’s an old-school debonair swagger and a hot everyman to him that many movie stars lack. Dwayne Johnson is many things, including a mountain of a man and a brilliant business person, but few of us could carry that off or believe that what he’s doing on screen is something we could replicate. Inspire, sure, but we could never be him. With each film the character is finding it harder and harder to be cocky and confident. There is a world weariness etched on his strained face. He barely wins fights and often he relies on others to help him or bail him out. Cruise is self-aware that he is getting older, like his character. It’s these little details which count.

Interestingly, I find his women character also infinitely more relatable than any current iteration of the action female heroine. Marvel are lost in swamp of woke feminist BS where all their franchise films have to be led by the cookie cutter ’Strong Single Female’ - the one who doesn’t need mentoring (because that’s just sexist mansplaining); can pick up a life time of a superior set of skills in a matter of seconds; can beat to a pulp a man much stronger than she is; she never falls, stumbles, or fails like the men do; and she alone saves the day of course. Look at Rey in Star Wars or Captain Marvel in the MCU or even Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character in the latest risible Indiana Jones film and tell me any of that isn’t true.

The women in MI franchise are far more relatable within the context of a hyper-realised film about super spies but not beyonds the laws of gravity. They are strong, independent, smart, sure. But they are also feminine and vulnerable. They fight like skilled women and not prize fighters that play to their feminine strengths (they get punched a lot in the gut and it shows). More importantly, they fuck up and fail, but they still come and help others to save the day. From Emmanuelle Beart to Thandie Newton to Rebecca Ferguson, these are kick ass women but in a much more believable way than any Marvel movie she-heroine. Go back and see these movies and you will see what I mean.

What I also like about him is the vibe he gives off that he cares deeply about his movies. It’s not a cynical exercise in money. Of course ego is a different matter, but I’ll give him a pass because he is the consummate professional and perfectionist about his craft. To me Tom Cruise is one of the few performers today who generally thinks of the audience first. Maybe even to his own detriment. But you can tell with everything he does, in all of his films, there is a different kind of commitment he makes to the audience. He actually gives the impression that he cares about giving his audience a good time.

Moreover, to hear it from Cruise himself, as we did during leaked audio of the dressing down he gave M:I7 crew members who were flouting COVID-19 safety regulations: “That’s what I sleep with every night - the future of this fucking industry!” Cruise makes a grand spectacle of carrying every film on his back, so it’s never in question who calls the shots or who, rather than what, makes the movies cinematic. Cruise’s power as a producer really deserves kudos for this. His steadfast aversion to shrinking theatrical windows for any of his projects, and his continued allegiance to, especially in the case of his flagship franchise, adding more ambitious stunts and exotic locations with every entry.

He doesn’t do television. Don’t you dare ask him about streaming. Other stars have also made that transition to streaming. You might call it selling your soul. Deals with the devil. We’ve seen other films in difficult circumstances, having to change their models to incorporate simultaneous streaming and cinema releases. Dwayne Johnson had seen a decline in box office revenue prior to the pandemic that has seen him go a little safer with more Disney material, as well as become a big fish in the Netflix pond. Cruise however… is all about the big screen experience.

Everything Cruise does is about maintaining his star power in the face of any and all obstacles, from a diminished global box office and studio manoeuvring to his own mortality. His legacy decades since secured, Cruise’s latest impossible mission appears to be nothing less than saving the movies themselves.

For that reason and that reason alone, I will always take time to see a Tom Cruise movie especially his Mission Impossible franchise films. Roll on summer. Cue the Palo Schifrin guitar chords. And action!

Thanks for your question.

#ask #question #mission impossible #tom cruise #tv series #movies #cinema #film #hollywood #spies #arts #culture #stunts #marvel #mcu #hero #icon

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