#I really love thinking about how different people within your party might be connected to each other outside of the war

[triangle-strategy-notes]

Hughette's concept/reference art!

Translation notes under the cut:

The note about her master was a hard one to get the exact words for, but in general I'm pretty sure it said something about her master standing. The "before a journey" is likely a little off, though.

[galedekarios]

i'm reading a new interview tim downie gave about gale and it offers some of tim's own headcanons about gale, as well as tim's thoughts and insights on gale's character:

Nerds & Beyond: I like that you mentioned that the game is full of rounded characters because they are, they all have different aspects that make them feel real. I adore that Gale specifically is so serious and studious, but at the same time he has this really playful side — he often jokes about how he was a mischievous youth, he encourages other people like Arabella to do so, he understands when The Dark Urge first mentions their violent thoughts. There is a lot of nuance and depth there. But the quality that I love with Gale most is that obviously he is very ill when we first meet him – not that we know immediately – and he’s dealing with a lot of chronic pain. I find him incredibly selfless because he takes that day-to-day head on to help the party, which is an aspect I feel continues to show throughout the three acts. What’s your favorite quality of Gale’s, or what did you take away from him? Tim Downie: It’s so interesting hearing you say that, because I had so many different feedbacks about what people take from the character and sometimes things really surprise you. It’s interesting hearing that such and such has taken that particular aspect, because there are broad things like “He’s funny,” and that’s quite nice, that’s a nice trait, though not one you necessarily get to see that much. It’s so interesting hearing other people’s views about what they take from Gale.  The idea of dealing with chronic pain I found really interesting and an interesting subplot to play, and that was the great thing about doing something like this is that it is so unbelievably nuanced. You have so many layers that just keep going and going and going, as much as we all contain multitudes within ourselves. We all deal with these things, but only certain things pop up to the surface at any given point.  What did I take from Gale, though? I liked his studiousness. I would imagine that he was probably bullied as a kid for it, and he was probably a bit of a joker because he was bullied, and he uses that as a defense. But an even bigger defense for him is “I now know stuff that I didn’t before,” and that’s a power. It’s very similar to when you are being bullied and you’re the funny one – that’s your power, that’s your thing. “I may not be able to hurt you in a traditional sense, but I can say things that will make you feel pain,” which is a very different thing because you physically can’t go after them.  That’s the wonderful thing about acting and this character as well is being able to explore all these things that you might not have, that you might have gone, “I’m not gonna look at that again, I don’t want to deal with that,” and then it brings it up again and it’s like, “Oh, this is actually quite cathartic,” to re-explore these these moments of sorrow and loss and how you deal with grief and things like that and heartbreak and how you get over that.  It’s not all just tears, you do try and make a joke of it.

i really like that they are addressing the topic of gale's chronic pain. it's something that doesn't get addressed often, not even in the game itself.

i also found his answer as to why people might connect to gale very nice:

Nerds & Beyond: Gale is the most popular origin character to play as. What is it about him that you think allows so many different players to connect with him to the depths the fandom has? Tim Downie: I really don’t know. I think you’d have to ask the players that, ‘cause I don’t know, to be quite honest with you. He’s a wizard, and who wouldn’t want to be a wizard at the end of the day? I always say the difference between wizards and sorcerers is that sorcerers just pretend – they just assume they know what they’re doing, but a wizard has really learned this trade. And so there’s that kind of weight of knowledge and learning, which I would love to play as and be for a length of time.  I think it’s also the frailties. I like characters, and a lot of people do I’m assuming, that have flaws, otherwise you’ve made them completely unapproachable. To be completely superhuman or completely extraordinary at something then removes the humanity from it because it becomes like, “Well, that’s never gonna happen.” But when there’s a flaw, when there’s, “Oh, I’ve got that wrong, too,” or like, “My knees hurt” as you say, or “I’ve got a bit of a headache. I really don’t want to do this,” “You’re really annoying me, this is very annoying, could you please hurry up?” or “Stop licking the damn thing,” it’s always those moments that are fun because it shows what we’re all thinking at that point, it removes it from almost archetype and stereotype and it becomes human in a way.

gale is approachable and likeable, has flaws, but is genuinely nice. i think that very much sums up his character.

this bit here made me laugh:

Nerds & Beyond: When you’re talking about those different layers in the humanity building, I think one of the most important aspects in this game is the more “background” or passive dialogue, so dialogue that is prompted in the world and not in the cut scenes.  For instance — the first time I made Gale sneak he immediately complained about his knees, and it was such a real moment where he was just like, “Oh, don’t make me do this. This is not what I’m here for, I’ve got bad knees and I’m not made for this.” Did you have any of those background lines or moments that stick out as being particularly fun to craft?  Tim Downie: I remember the first time I ever had to do waiting, I found it infinitely interesting in so many ways. The idea that I did actually just have to wait and just actually, “Hmm…” Those little things I find really funny because they’re probably the closest to me that the character ever gets. His waiting mannerisms are kind of very English – slightly annoyed and I’m not going to show it to you though because we’re all being very nice, but I’ll do it with a huff and a slightly sarcastic, “Well, that’s great. Another 20 minutes. That’s great.” Those kinds of sentiments I found wonderful and incredibly fun, and funny, to do. 

if you want to read the whole interview for yourself, you can do so here!

[keepingitformyself]

we might just get away with it (ii)

AN: i’m so sorry for the delay on this second chapter, i got really caught up with uni stuff and then some personal projects i’ve been working on. anyways i have about a month off and will do my best to catch up on this story! hope u guys enjoy this one….happy holidays!

synopsis: hollywood is a tricky place for someone new like you, a certain elusive redhead is hoping for you to let her in.

pairings: writer!natasha romanoff x youngactress!reader

genre: fluff.

warnings: natalie is lowkey a mastermind. rumored romance with another certain actress…..

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

3 weeks later.

new york is everything you love, put into one city. you thrive in it’s anonymity, ironically.

it’s got the strong sense of culture, the food, the creativity, and the people. like every single person who walks the streets is made to belong there, they all have their purpose for making new york what it is.

that’s what you think as you’re sat outside a coffee shop on 463 w broadway.

you make a note of how one day you’ll commit to living here. you also make note of just how reckless it’d be if you just up and left la then never went back. you hate la, you’ve come to find out. yet there’s so much that keeps you there. you hate it. you don’t belong there. but in some sense of the word, you do.

you sigh with the shake of your head, adjust the cap securely on your head, and tighten the large overcoat you have on. the latte in front of you seeming more interesting now. the still hot liquid distracts you from the intrusive thoughts.

your mind drifts off to natalie. you’re immediately taken back to that night at the party. it’s your first time thinking of that night in weeks. and you realize how you truly haven’t felt the way you did that night, since. you remember the conversations you had, you remember how she went to school at nyu, how she told you she hasn’t left new york since. how she never plans to.

you wonder how she’s doing, if she’s in the city. if she remembers you, or has even thought of you.

it makes you a little sad to think about. your life hasn’t slowed down since the release of the series and sometimes all you wanted was to find some small relief in it all. even with the short-lived moments of connection it feels odd to come back from something like that and move on with your life.

your thought is cut short with a text message from samantha.

greta decided to move the meeting a little earlier. she apologizes for the last minute change. can you be there in the next 30 minutes?

you text a quick reply saying that you’ll be there as soon as you can. with that, you grab your to go cup and find the nearest subway that’ll take you up to 19th street.

you make it there just within the thirty minute mark. a kind man waits for you to arrive at the door and leads you up the elevator to the fourth floor of the walk up.

you’re surprised to see who is seated next to greta when you walk in.

“oh good, you made it! let me introduce you to—” you cut her off.

“—natalie.”

the redhead stands from her seat at the table and reaches over it to shake your hand.

“it’s a pleasure we meet again.” her eyes say something different. not bad necessarily, but something more. you’re not sure what it might be. greta’s eyes light up at the gesture.

“oh you’ve met! well, natalie here is gonna be joining us as head writer right besides me and noah for the next season.”

it’s your turn for your eyes to light up. a sense of relief floods through you. natalie isn’t here just to be here, she was here to be part of something with you.

you turn to her with a genuine smile. though you’ve worked with the people in this room for over a year, natalie is drastically different to them.

natalie was the first person who spoke to you as if you were just you. she didn’t bother you about work and stuff.

she talked to you about things that interested you, that interested her. she talked to you like you were just another individual who happened to be at the same party she was at.

“that’s- that’s actually really good to hear. i’m really excited for how this’ll turn out.”you let out a laugh, one that says you’re still trying to comprehend the news.

“right well, let’s get the meeting started!” greta claps her hands together and sits down.

——

natalie hasn’t stopped staring at you since the meeting started.

she hopes you’re as interested in the meeting as you look, because then at least she’d be sure you haven’t figured out her staring problem.

she only catches your eyes whenever greta or noah turn the attention towards her, then you’re forced to look at her. but she’s always just in time to look away before you can notice the stares.

the truth is, natalie is an absolute maniac. she’s a psychopath. she’s a writer for gods sake!

writers have a tendency to be more in sync with their awareness which is great…but they’re also more able to get in touch with that darker side in their psyche. how else do you think she managed to snag a few award-winning films under her belt?

her creativity reaches into places in her mind most wouldn’t even consider to think of.

point is, natalie is a huge romanticist, and it’s a problem. sometimes.

in her defense, greta came up to her for this job. so in some sense of the word, it was fate. plus, tony had put in a good word, not that she asked him to. obviously.

up until that point, natalie had no clue on how to get to you. her only idea was writing her next screenplay and giving you the lead.

but now, the ball was in her court. she takes the next shot.

the meeting ended and everyone was seeing themselves out. natalie thinks of what to say while she’s packing her things but you beat her to it instead.

“it was really nice to see you again.” she hears you say. she lifts her head up, you’re smiling and your hands are stuffed into your coat pockets. a smile easily reaches her eyes at the sight.

“i’m glad. i’ve already got some plans for where i want to take this next season.” natalie replies with an enthusiastic smile.

you raise your eyebrows in surprise eager to know what she might have to say but you hold yourself back. she wouldn’t spoil that for you, even if you asked.

“i have trust you’ll do it right then, i’ve already grown so protective of this show, especially my character.” it was very true. there were moments where you really had to oversee things going on with the script. thank god greta was as collaborative as she is. you’d always try exploring things with your character and she was always very supportive of where you’d take things. it made the series all the more fulfilling to you, honestly.

natalie confirms that she’ll do anything she thinks is in your best interest for the show and before she even realizes it, you’re making a move she wasn’t expecting.

“i know this is on short notice, but…i saw this really nice bistro on my way here and, i’d love to get to know my head writer more…over brunch?” you ask timidly. the thought to ask her had occurred to you only a few seconds ago. natalie seemed wise, and you liked it and she was here with you now and honestly, you just wanted some good company while being in the city.

“yeah i can do lunch. yeah that’s great actually.” natalie was surprised. to say the least. she hadn’t planned to continue the day with you. she decides this was her chance in. her way of getting to know you better, something she’s been desperate to get back to since she realized it that night in her home.

you lead her out of the building where you’re met with the crisp wind of new york city. car horns and police sirens are heard as you walk through the streets of the flatiron neighborhood. on the way to the restaurant you ask eachother how you’ve been.

you tell her about how you just wrapped up your press tour in europe and had spent a few nights with some friends in london. natalie pays close attention to every word that is hung from your lips. she notices to light blush that covers your cheeks and nose due to the cold and she almost reaches out to pull you in closer.

as you speak, she tries not to notice the obvious man with the camera that makes himself known a few hundred feet away from you. a sense of pride makes washes over her at the fact that there’d be a picture taken of the two of you, together.

you end your story and in return ask her how she’s been. natalie doesn’t miss the genuine interest shown in your eyes as she talks.

even as you reach the restaurant and are seated you never lose your sense.

natalie talks and talks and you listen. you’re so entranced by her stories that you’ve come to find that you deeply admire her for what she does and says. it makes you feel all the more excited for the chance at working with her.

she tells you she’s never not writing. even before greta came along to offer her the role of head writer, she was still writing. natalie tells you about the screenplay she was working on, how she plans to direct it as well.

you beam at her revelation seeming genuinely excited at the fact that she’d be making a movie sometime in the future. you tell her that she better invite you to the premiere.

natalie laughs off your comment. she doesn’t tell you how she got back into her writing after she saw you on her screen for the first time, all those months ago.

or how you’re the muse in her next story.

once your ordered food comes in you sit in a comfortable silence as you eat.

“what do you do on your days off?” natalie asks suddenly. she looks up at you through her lashes, her fork playing with the baked eggs on her plate.

you’re so caught off guard by her question it makes you blush at the way she stares you down. you chew down the food in your mouth and answer.

“uh, i like going home, to see my mom. she doesn’t let me stay for more than i need to though, she says i need to go out and meet new people.” you chuckle. your mom was your biggest supporter but also your biggest critic. although she always enjoys her time with you, she was always telling you to go meet with some of your hometown friends.

it’s why you liked going home so much. she’s great at grounding you when you need to be.

“oh? and have you met any new people?” natalie’s interest is piqued by now. she carefully treads around the question, hoping, wishing for any information that’d give her an in into what she desperately wants to know.

who are you with when you’re not alone? who do you think of when you are?

“i mean, i’ve met some really cool people through mutual friends." you reveal.

“wow, so you haven’t met anyone you fancy?” natalie plays it off coolly. she treads along the sacredness that is your romances. and natalie doesn’t mention the fact that she’s read into your love life recently. the rumors of you and another actress.

the one you were pictured with in london very recently.

“huh? oh, no. i don’t really have anyone like that in my life right now.” you nervously chuckle at her question.

“so you and that actress aren’t a couple? you and jenna ortega?” natalie feeds a forkful of food into her mouth, seeming very nonchalant about what she just asked.

you try not to laugh at natalie’s question. your eyebrows raise in surprise at her very forward question. it’s almost comical, really.

jenna was amongst the close group of friends you stayed with while in london.

she was a flame, someone you’d come to deeply admire over the time spent knowing her. she tells you things that you learn from, you check on eachother, you bring eachother back down to earth.

and she was one of the few people you could actually depend on with your life in this industry.

the silent shock wears off. you’re not sure what to say, except the fact that you feel a little embarrassed at her question. that even natalie of all people had heard about your supposed love life.

something that you tried to keep nurtured as much as possible.

“she’s one of my best friends.” you finally say. more sure than anything. you try not to laugh at the accusation. the idea of it seeming so far away from where you are now.

“i haven’t even dated in such a long time.” you even go as far to say. anything to make it clear you’re nowhere near any level of romance with anyone.

you miss the look of surprise on natalie’s face when you say this. she sets her fork down to sip from the breakfast martini she had ordered. she sets her glass down and takes a look at you, leaning forward only slightly.

“i was so sure someone as pretty as you wouldn’t have stayed single for so long.” then she looks down at her plate with a small smile, contemplating. there’s a beat of silence.

finally, she looks up.

“can’t say i’m disappointed at being proved wrong though.” she finishes.

you laugh at natalie’s comment. it’s all you could do, not really sure at what she could be getting at. you even blush a little.

and natalie misses none of it.

[disengagedspirit]

PARTIES: @dirtwatchman, @disengagedspirit TIMING: Late April, in the year 2024. SUMMARY: Mercy and Caleb have a heart-to-heart about what it means to love in the 21st Century. CONTENT WARNINGS: Homophobia tw, unsanitary (light mention) tw

The good thing about taking in a vampire? He still didn’t have to buy food when he went to the grocery store unless one of them just really wanted something. But Caleb still had to grab laundry detergent and cleaning supplies, especially when the two of them lived off of blood and brains, two things that were particularly messy. While he’d been out he’d seen a little trinket in the store that for some reason had reminded him of his new houseguest, recalling the memory of coming home to hear she had tried to fight his washing machine with a broom. It made him laugh, he figured it might make her laugh as well and on a whim he’d bought it.

“Mercy!” His voice carried through the house as he placed the few bags in hand on the kitchen counter, wondering if the woman had gone to work or was out telling more people how old she actually was. He really needed to tell her that wasn’t the best idea since she seemed so determined to do so online. There was no telling who knew what she was now. “I got you something at the store.” 

Caleb grabbed the little dragon figurine, turning to face the blonde as she came into the room with a bright smile that held a hint of playfulness. He flew it through the air, cutting up and down. “I don’t know why but it reminded me of you.” Maybe it was the vampire's resilience resembling what he imagined a dragon’s could amount to. She’d been through so much even before being locked underground for so long and now she was going through relearning the ways of the world. “Dragons are fierce, I imagine you are too when you need to be.”

—

It was Mercy’s day off from The Sugar Pot, and she had decided to spend her free time trying to get more acquainted with the modern day conveniences located in Caleb’s house. She had known to stay out of the basement and to respect his boundaries, but there had still been a lot of places left untapped, like the outer storage area and the hall that led to it. A hall she had been tempted to go down many times, but was cautious out of what might lay within the confines of this new location.

Gathering the courage, with her trusty broom in hand in case there came the need to fend off any looming monsters, Mercy approached the door and with a determined glare, opened it and charged inside with a battle cry!

“Goodman Caleb, is that you? I’m back here in your smokehouse! Did you know there are no meats back here? Only cobwebs and lots of dust and grime.” She came walking down the hall and through the house to meet up with Caleb covered in dust and cobwebs from head-to-toe; the dirt on her face only causing her blue eyes to stand out more than they usually did.

As she laid eyes on him and the dragon figurine, her face lit up with joy, “You purchased me a gift with your hard earned labor?” The tiny 5’2” blonde stepped closer and reached up to take the figurine from his hand and looked it over, taking in every single detail; tears forming in her eyes, “Caleb, this means the world to me. How may I repay you? Shall I clean out your smokehouse so you may use it for the upcoming winter to store meats in. My trusty broom is still back there ready and lying in wait to tackle even the most foul of creatures.” 

—

By now he should have been used to her way of thinking, the nuances of her words and what she compared things to, but it still amused him every time he interacted with Mercy. Her brain connected things so differently than he’d ever thought possible. His lips lifted when he noticed how dirty she was coming out of the storage room, the thought of needing to clean out in the back of his mind, but Caleb shook his head at her offer. “You don’t have to give me anything in return, Mercy, it’s a gift. Just because I wanted to.” The tears shining in her eyes sent a crease to his brow, the zombie moving forward as if it would help reiterate his point to be closer to her. “It just made me think of you, is all. It’s what friends do.”

After he felt his point had gotten across, he turned back to the few groceries that he’d brought in and started to put them away. “Besides, it’s not a smokehouse, no matter how cool one of those would be. It’s just a storage area that I haven’t touched in a while. No need to get attacked by dust bunnies. I think your broom needs a break.” Because it was hers now. Even if Caleb needed to use it every now and then he still considered it hers. It was her main source of feeling protected in such a large world that she had woken up in and he would never take that away from her. 

With everything put away, he turned back to her with another smile, taking every opportunity to make her feel more comfortable in his home. Truth be told, it was nice to have someone around on a constant basis. People had stayed over in the past but it had been a long time since he’d had someone to share all of his time and Mercy was someone that he didn’t mind doing that with. Caleb had never had that before and he liked it. “Are you hungry or anything? I could grab something for you in the basement…”

—

It had been so long since Mercy had been given something so special that she could call her own. The last thing had been the coffin she had been buried in with the nail that held her in place out of fear for what she had become. But now she stood in the presence of a man who had taken a chance on who she was now giving her a roof over her head, food, and a small trinket of his appreciation for their friendship, “Caleb Ellsworth, you consider me your friend? I will take that vow and cherish it in mine own unbeating heart, until the day I am rendered useless.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stepped forward and latched onto him interrupting his chore of putting away the groceries.

Pulling away, she looked down at the dragon before setting it gently on the counter and focusing her attention back on him, “I dare not come across bunnies of dust. If I had I would have fed them by now. Did you trade for carrots while you were out? If so, I shall go attend to them. Besides, I hath left my broom in your…storage area, and I must retrieve it.” Mercy didn’t mind doing chores or cleaning up. It’s what she had spent most days doing when she had still been alive, and it was ingrained in every part of her being.

However, she gave way to a pause when he had mentioned food, “Aye, I could eat. Are you hungry? Tis past dinner time, nearly supper.” At least time had been one thing that seemed to stay the same. Or so she thought, until Daylight Savings Time had come around, but that’s a tale for another thread. “I shall retrieve my broom and wash up, while you prepare the meal. If that suits you?”

—

The hug had been a surprise, the boy tensing when he’d felt her arms wrap around him from behind but he recovered quickly by placing his hand on top of hers. Cold met cold to forge that alliance of friendship that Caleb could feel she’d been craving. “Same here, Mercy Williams. These days most of us just say ‘friends forever’ but I like the way you said it better.” Still, he hoped she was still using her Duolingo. Speaking like that was going to raise so many red flags and apparently hunters were a thing that he had been unaware of before. He wanted her safe even if that meant losing the dialogue of her past.

“Oh, no, we don’t feed dust bunnies. We get rid of them. Don’t worry, they’re not actually alive.” Though he had seen a few skittering around like they were. He just assumed they were being blown around by the air vents before realizing his air was never on. They didn’t need it. He still continued to ignore them since they seemed harmless for now.

Nodding his head at her suggestion, Caleb pushed off from the counter he’d been leaning against. “I’m not actually hungry, I ate with Wyatt last night, but I’ll grab you something. Just give me a minute.” With that, the zombie unlocked the door and made his way down the stairs of his basement, flicking the switch on his wall to illuminate what he could only describe as a scene from a horror movie. Refrigerators and freezers lined the walls, purchases from the budding days of his business so that he could keep up with demand. One of the fluorescent lights overhead always seemed to flicker a little even though he told himself every time he was in here that he needed to fix that. He was usually busy while down here and always forgot. The work table he’d set in the middle of the room was stained dark from blood but the majority of the power tools that were lined around it were shining brightly as if they’d never been used. They had been…way too often.

Caleb hated this room. It was his deepest shame and the one place that he knew would land him in the big house if the wrong people ever saw it. But it was necessary. Besides, the majority of the bodies he’d brought down here were dead by another’s hand whether that be disease, accidental…or his new clientele for the other side of his business. 

Walking over to the fridge that he had cleared out just for Mercy, he grabbed one of the mason jars filled with blood. Another new ‘hobby’ of his. She needed to feed and he felt better knowing she wasn’t attacking random people on the street for her meals. He was already using these bodies, using the whole thing was responsible, right? After thinking it over, he grabbed a second in case she was famished.

“Merce, I got two. I didn’t know how hungry you were but I figured it was better safe than sorry.” The jars were tucked under his arm as he put the padlock back on but soon they were being placed at the little kitchen table for her. “Find any monsters hanging out in the storage?”

—

Mercy had liked the shortened version…friends forever. She would hold it in her mind only bringing it out for special occasions. After all, she had been burned, hypothetically speaking, in the past by someone who was supposed to be her best friend. But Caleb was different. Caleb accepted her for who she had become, and to her, that meant everything. Plus, he reassured her of all the things that didn’t make sense, like the bunnies of dust, and how they weren’t living; even though she could have sworn she had seen them hopping around when she had returned for her broom. Nevertheless, she had shrugged off their existence and need for nourishment, instead returning to her bedroom where she could wash up.

After she had finished and put fresh clothes on, Mercy returned to the kitchen. It was a shame to be eating alone again, and she couldn’t help, but feel some sadness. It seemed as though Caleb was constantly out with this Wyatt fellow. She had yet to meet him, but she wanted to know more about him. Everytime Caleb mentioned his name, it was as if the man’s face lit up, and Mercy knew that look all too well from her own experience of loving somebody.

Seeing Caleb standing near the kitchen table, Mercy went to meet him. She had easily slipped into her favorite spot out of the way of everything, but with a perfect view ahead of her. Eating with her back to whatever could be waiting on her had become a no-no in her book. Instead, she wanted to see everything that was happening around her, “I shall take pleasure in consuming both of them as I am rather parched from the day's explorations and no breakfast. As for monsters, the only monsters were said bunnies of dust hopping around your storage room floor.” She ran her tongue across her lips at the sight of the delicious red liquid that was sitting in front of her, but before she reached out to take one, she set her eyes back on Caleb, “Caleb, may I ask thee…you…may I ask you a question?”

—

Hopping. So she saw them too. Maybe he couldn’t ignore that much longer. It was new, that was for sure, but at least they were sticking to the storage room. He grabbed a bottle of hot sauce from the kitchen fridge, a milder one used for the purposes of a ‘drink’ and made his way to the seat across from her. Nobody likes to eat alone, right? Even if watching her drink the blood was a little weird Caleb couldn’t judge. The man ate brains and was currently taking a sip of the hot sauce in hand for his refreshment. 

Her question made him nervous though. It wasn’t the actual question itself, it was the way that she had asked it. Usually Mercy wasn’t timid with him since she knew he was willing to teach but this one had that tinge of nerves in her words. He pressed his lips together as the hot sauce went down and nodded. “Yea, you know you can ask me anything. What’s going on?”

—

She was a bit relieved to see him sit down next to her. Hot sauce in hand. His usual drink of choice, and one Mercy had grown rather curious about. But as long as he was there, it didn’t matter what he had. The vampire was just glad to have her friend with her while she enjoyed her early supper. But the question that was looming was something she was trying to understand. In her time, it was forbidden and could mean death if the two participating in such acts were caught, but here, in this time, it all seemed so nonchalant and accepted. At least from what she could tell.

Unscrewing the jar slowly, Mercy thought long and hard of how to gauge her question without running the risk of upsetting or offending Caleb, “This Wyatt fellow you are so fond of and constantly speak of…are you courting each other?” She felt embarrassed to ask. Most things that seemed commonplace, she didn’t understand and often left her feeling confused and fearful of upsetting the person she was talking to. And while she had thought about scouring the internet for answers to this particular question, she was afraid to.

—

Courting? The word confused him but a moment later Caleb realized what Mercy was asking and then even further realization came to him. Of course she didn’t understand it. The vampire had been locked up underground for over three hundred years, how could she know what was going on? “I don’t know if I would call it courting, mostly because I’m not sure the full meaning of that word to you. I don’t know if we’ve even defined what we’re doing but I don’t think we need to right now, I’m just enjoying it for what it is. I am seeing him though…romantically.” 

His hand went to the back of his neck, suddenly nervous about what this meant for them. Would she think less of him for who he liked? He imagined what would have happened to someone back in her time if they’d been caught doing this and the idea of it wasn’t pretty but was Mercy open enough to accept that things had changed when compared to that age? “I’m sure you have more questions now. I’d like to answer them all if you’re okay with asking them.” The silent thought hung between them. ‘If you’re still okay with me.’ ringing through his mind. Caleb started to avoid eye contact with her by staring at the hot sauce bottle in his hand, his fingers moving over the label as a distraction.

—

Mercy was somewhat surprised by the answer. A fear had washed over her, but she knew it had been out of what she had been taught as a little girl. She didn’t want her best friend to be sent to hell, because of who he had feelings for. It was something she had never really understood. Sure, the Geneva Bible had taught the word of God from a fear based standpoint, but for as long as Mercy could recall, she had always quietly questioned why someone who would create love in the first place and the animals and the stars and the moon up above; why would He cast down such damnation on his children for showing their hearts to one another. But it wasn’t a thought she had ever dared speak out loud. Even now, she was afraid of the consequences of this conversation, but then she realized that she wasn’t even considered one of God’s true children anymore. She couldn’t even speak His name or lay hands on a Bible without feeling imminent pain.

Her appetite had been put on the backburner as she put the lid back on the jar of blood and pushed it to the side, “Is this a natural way of life now or are you the exception? And if you are dare caught, are there consequences? Will you be made an example of and put to death?” They were all valid questions in her mind, because Mercy didn’t want to see Caleb get hurt.

—

“I’m definitely not the exception.” Right out the gate with the heavy hitters. For a moment, Caleb wasn’t sure how to answer all of those. Sexuality was even more complicated these days and he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression about how it was being accepted in society or how it wasn’t. Because there were safe spaces for some and not so safe spaces for others. “Those aren’t as easy to answer as I was hoping they’d be. I don’t know if I’m going to explain this too well because everyone’s story is so different so I might have different thoughts on this than others do.” He gave her a nervous chuckle before growing quiet again, trying to think of how to go about this to someone who was brand new to this world. “I think it all sums up to the people who are in our lives somehow. Some people are lucky. They have acceptance for who they are from the ones they love. Others, unfortunately, don't have that safe space and have to make their own.” 

Worrying his bottom lip, he finally looked back up at Mercy and sighed. “But no matter who you’re around there’s always that fear lingering in the back of your mind. I wouldn’t say that sexuallities that are different from hetero are a more natural way of life now because I think they’ve always been there but they’re more out in the open now. There’s still the fear of showing it though because there are a lot of ignorant people still out there. Religion is still used to justify their hate, people still don’t like different. Not everyone, of course, but more than enough. We won’t be put to death, not in the traditional sense anyway, but the prejudices are still there. People can still get hurt whether that’s physically or emotionally or both.”  

—

Mercy sat quietly listening to Caleb. The world had changed over the course of centuries. Everything was different. People were different. And instead of living in such a black and white society, Mercy was finding gray areas to be more prominent now. People seemed more intricate, and even though this was sometimes hard to accept, the 17th century colonial woman was finding more and more that she liked this freedom of being able to further define your character. Who you wanted to be. She had only experienced the tip of the iceberg, but this was like a fresh new start for her. All the things she could recall feeling; things that were slowly coming back to her, were things that had sat wrong in her heart at times. She had only been so devout, because that’s what her parents had taught her. What they had wanted for her. And when she was grown, married, and with child, it became her responsibility to care for that child and her husband leaving her no chance to really find out who she was or what she enjoyed that wasn’t tied to a familial life.

“Thankee, Caleb, for answering my questions. I was raised on certain beliefs that my parents felt crucial to pass down to me and my brother. They only taught us what they knew. One did not stray far from that of religion and the lessons we were supposed to learn. But this new world…This modern world, I see that people are more so free from religion and its confines. I suppose I am as well, not by mine own choice.” Mercy looked down and thumbed at the edge of the table, before sighing softly and focusing her gaze back on him, “I do not know if I will ever be able to give my heart to another, but I support you in your freedoms, Goodman Caleb. I hold no bias or judgment. Only that he treat you kindly, or I will drain him of his blood.” Her face was stern, before it softened into a warm smile lighting up her eyes.

—

His gaze softened as the worry started to melt with her words. For someone who was brought up in a time where this was unfathomable she was so quick to accept Caleb’s way of life all while threatening to harm someone if they dare hurt him. He knew she probably had more questions since this was something that couldn't be wrapped up in a two minute discussion but he was also glad that she was willing to accept things and drop the rest so quickly. It was a topic that made him anxious to say the least. A little at a time was better than a lifetime of discussion being crammed into an afternoon. 

“Let's hope it doesn’t come to that. But I’d rather you not drain anyone even if I do get hurt, okay? That’s always the risk you take going into something and I’m willing to take that risk.” If anything, Caleb was more worried he would do the hurting here. “Why don’t you keep eating? Like I said, I’d rather you not drain anyone so let's keep you full.” With that, Caleb stood from his chair and put the hot sauce back into the fridge. He wanted to let her finish her meal and his shot nerves needed a bit of a break. But before he walked away, the zombie picked up the dragon figurine from the counter and ‘flew’ it over towards her, placing it on the table in front of the vampire. “See? Fierce…just like I said.” 

[peppertaemint]

I've always felt that the jikookers vs. taemin feud kinda mirrored the taekookers vs. jimin situation, but at a much smaller scale, of course. I agree with you that they feel threatened by taemin's indisputable stature as an artist, as it disrupts the narrative that bts is always the first and always the best at everything, and also because jimin looks up to him and is influenced by him (as if it wasn't obvious enough before, now we got the confirmation from the man himself, thank you very much). This reminds me of taekookers getting mad at jimin for standing out so much as a performer. I mean, he obviously does, that's why they're always all up in his business instead of focusing on their favs' "records". Also, they hate the fact that they're close because they read taemin as queer, which makes them think that they actually might have kissed, once, at a party (just once). Kookie's friends look straight enough to them, so they can stay. A bit homophobic if you ask me. I'm sure that if we saw taemin around jimin publicly more often, he would've been already promoted to the same The Other Woman™ role jimin occupies for tkks. And besides all that, I could write an essay on why jimin's friendships have always been under scrutiny because many people can't take the fact that he has more going on in his life besides being the members' cheerleader and jungkook's devoted wife, but that's a different topic.

Thank you for this Ask, Anon. You raised a lot of salient points here. The one I'm gonna pick up on is Taemin's perceived queerness, with emphasis on perceived.

There is an odd thing that happens with non-fans. They mostly think he's gay, that it's obvious, and they don't really like their favourite having a connection to him. While, within the fandom community, shawols cannot decide if they think he's gay. If you were to ask around, you'd get quite a few different opinions.

I find it interesting because the "outside" community has very specific and strong opinions of him. I connected with a Korean-American lady in her 50s a while ago and talked about all things Kpop. She wasn't a shawol. One of the first things she said, unprompted, was, oh Taemin, he's gay but can never come out, what a shame/challenge for him (I was chatting from a 2Min account, just for context). I was a little floored at how readily she shared this fully-formed opinion.

It seems the world outside shawols have already made up their minds about him, in one way or another. I think about when he was young and had that beautiful long hair, but his frame was still so slight that the gender confusion for an onlooker was understandable. It must have been hard to have the world decide that you were sitting somewhere on the trans spectrum. And to know everyone thinks they know you're gay.

There is a zero percent chance of him not feeling these things, and he's certainly done both reactionary hetero-leaning performances and queer performances. Pretty Boy is and Internet War are the first that come to mind. And it's worth remembering that sometime in the early 2010s, there was a Korean news report about homosexuality in kpop idols, and he and Jonghyun were named in it (as a couple, I think 💀).

I don't love the song Pretty Boy, but the choreography with its military steps and these lyrics have a lot to say.

Hey you, tough guy / Relax your hardened shoulders / Hey feel the way I move

I’m like a speeding train / You’ll be surprised / Look at that poor girl, I hope you notice / She says “you’re a guy so…” like a habit / Why is being sensitive and prepared the opposite of being a man?

Cause I do it I do it for you / I won’t pretend to be innocent like a puppet / Everyone talks so easily

I may always seem pretty, I may always seem good / I may seem nice, I may seem soft / But that’s all a part of your imagination that’s over my head / (Pretty Boy)

[aulel-process]

Introversion (continued on and on)

I’m overkilling this introversion thing but thought this was an interesting article:

“The irony is, a really large portion of my introverted friends are my theatre friends.

...

theatre is actually a perfect activity for introverts. In fact, they may even be better suited to it for extroverts.

The thing about theatre is that it doesn’t just require communicating with others– it requires really connecting with yourself. A big part of acting is looking within. You, as an actor, need to understand the circumstances of the script, how they apply to the character, and how you would feel in the character’s situation given their life experiences. This is, in no uncertain terms, an introspective act. A lot of acting is just making introspection visible to an onlooker– many acting teachers advise beginning with mental lines of thought and letting a physical life emerge from it. Usually show and character analysis comes before determining blocking or character choices. Most of the set-up for acting is highly introverted, in the respect that it deals with a lot of independent thinking and deep intra-personal reflection.

...

Responding to other actors on stage isn’t about finding the nerve to speak to someone or knowing what to say next. That much is already taken care of by the script. Really truthfully responding is very much about more introspection, though in an obviously less isolated sense. Actors need to be able to cut to the heart of how the dialogue and circumstances make them (and their character) feel.“ ( 1 )

“Introverts, on the other hand, come most alive and feel most capable when they’re alone exploring their thoughts and feelings; being around the stimulation of other people expends this energy. This does not mean they are shy. Shyness is characterized by fear of social judgment. While introverts may or may not have good social skills, they will likely need to recharge their energy level by being alone after spending time with others–even those whose company they enjoy.

Although introverts make up 25-40% of the population, they often experience a general bias in our Western society which favors the more outgoing, bold, assertive style that extroverts exemplify over their quiet, introspective nature.

At first glance, the act of performing roles appears to be more about socializing, seeking attention, and being invigorated by the presence of the audience–qualities one would expect from an extrovert. However, quality acting requires a deep understanding of a character’s emotions as well as valuable introspection of one’s own complexities to convincingly pull off roles.

Both introverts and extroverts bring their own particular strengths and power to any given role. So, whether you consider yourself an introvert, an extrovert, or anything in between, embrace your own style. Resist the notion that one style is any better than the other, and invest in your authenticity.” ( 2 )

I don’t have any particular inclination towards theater, but I do enjoy exploring my inner world of emotions and externalizing that through visual art which is similar to theater... I’m just justifying my self absorption now... I think it’s sometimes surprising to people that someone who might feel drained from large group social activities would feel invigorated from being on stage, but the dynamics are different... I feel like I know extroverted people who love being life of the party but have nervous breakdowns at the thought of giving a presentation...

[ask-hannah-blog]

I went to this party last night, and I think some jerk spiked the punch with goof juice!!! HELP!!!

My nose is super big, my eye brows are so bushy, I keep on crossing my eyes if I don't focus on them, and my head feels really foggy...

OH GOD MY FEET PLZ HELP WHYYY MEEE

Yup, sounds like goof juice to me.

The good news if you’re smart enough to write this the night after, you got off pretty easy. Goof juice reacts very quickly and is usually done changing people within an hour. So this is as bad as it’s gonna get unless you get another dose.

Bad news is you’re a goof. At least bimbos have sex appeal to get by. Goof are just intentionally grotesque. They’re a caricature of womanhood and I hate them!

Not you specifically of course, just these losers who can only get a girl by lowering her down to their level.

Oh, right. Advice… well if you have a boyfriend you’re in luck. Goofs have some weird pull on men. So you can get him to massage those big feet in no time. You guys are going to be great!

If you don’t have a man then you might want to find your mommy.

What’s a mommy? So glad I get to explain this again!

Goof juice was made in a lab. That’s where the powder comes from. But it’s grown so out of control because it can reproduce in the wild like the dinosaurs from Jurassic park! If a goof gets pregnant instead of a baby she swells up with goof juice. Women who drink the juice becomes goofs that resemble this new matriarch. She become The Mommy of all the goof that spawn from their juice, making them smarter and more dominant. Goofs who serve their mommy report satisfaction with their life, grotesque and demeaning as it might be.

That’s all assuming you get worse. You seem pretty well of right now. You came here you’re speaking in full sentences, so that’s hopefully. The head fuzziness does clear after a few weeks. It’s possible they only had enough for a single dose, and poured it into the punch bowel. So you might have a very mild case.

I’d say go about a normal day, and see how your routine is different now. Can you wake up in the same way, has anything affected your hygiene regimen, can you get dressed? Do you need new shoes? Can you make yourself breakfast? Do you remember your passwords, do you know where you kept them?

Keep notes of EVERYTHING That’s changed, and start making plans on how to compensate for if. Give yourself five more minutes a day to tweeze your eyebrows, find new shoes. If you’ve forgotten something about your life see if a friend or loved one can fill it in.

Stabilize yourself first. Then think about getting treatment.

Also file a report and ask other people at the party if they’ve noticed changes too. Other women might be going through this too.

But BE CAREFUL. If a group of goofs hangs out enough one of the will spontaneously become the group Mommy, and that’s going to change everything for you if you fall into their orbit.

So talk to others for support but resist the goof urge to have a gal’s night!

Of course despite my outrage for you, you’re still a person. Despite the juice’s best efforts, you’re a person. Fight for that. Don’t let the change isolate you from your support group. Let your family and friends know what happened to you, tell them you’re scared, tell them what you’re afraid of.

This biggest cause of identity death in transformation victims is loss of their support group. So stay connected, and that will go a long way in keeping you connected.

Ms.Hannah

[tripleyeeet]

Hello!! It is me 💿 anon coming to ask you about the playlists of your newest fic! I saw you have ones for each character and was wondering if you have specific lyrics/songs that helped you develop each character? All the playlists that are out so far and fab btw!

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

-

💿 anon, my beloved!

first off, omg thank you!! second, yes, of course there's lots of character inspo that revolves around music! i find a lot of the time my fics come from song lyrics and sort of sprout from there —prey included. the whole fic was based around these lyrics from the neighbourhood’s song of the same name:

something is off, i can't explain you know what i mean, don't you? something i saw, or something i did that made me like this could you help me?

obviously i can’t go too into detail because that’ll spoil the fic but the lyrics definitely encompass avis and loki’s relationship as a whole. in the story they both feel sort of cast aside by the people they’re meant to be closest to and because of that, find a lot of comfort in one another during moments of solitude.

-

for loki, i have a whole playlist of songs that remind me of him but for prey specifically one song comes to mind that i definitely lean towards when forming his psyche/how others perceive him. that song being they don’t want by electric wire hustle.

pretty much the whole song is very prey-esque but specifically the first verse i think really encapsulates the overall first impression loki gets from most of the team:

all around this town people stop and stare i can feel their eyes upon me see it in the face, there's nobody there i've felt that look before they don't want me here

-

moving onto avis who, despite some subtle differences is still very similar to loki. they’re both lonely and stubborn and frankly, quite broken but are also in this constant state of trying to showcase themselves as essentially perfect individuals. they force others to perceive themselves as capable of dealing with anything when really they're just these fragile little guys who want to be loved.

that being said, a lot of loki songs definitely overlap but honestly i find avis to be a bit more vengeful? basically, in the story she has this level of externalized rage that loki tends to hide away rather than release, making her overall character a bit more brash as you might be able to hear in the playlist.

overall, i'd say there are two main songs that really brought avis's character to life. the first being destruction by joywave which i think is a good example of her relationship with SHIELD and how she consistently feels threatened by it's presence.

oh my god, there's nobody who can set me right i've been sent to torch the palace down in broad daylight i wanna know who you told 'til they're all laying on the floor frozen to the core i wanna know who you told till it's nobody anymore

moving on to the second one: stuck on the puzzle by alex turner is definitely a song that connects to both loki and [redacted]. not really a spoiler but both parties are very interested in avis for different reasons. and although the lyrics are very romantic in nature i kind of feel like they apply to both relationships in their own unique ways? if that makes sense?

nobody i asked knew how he came to be the one to whom you surrendered

any man who wasn't led away into the other room stood pretending

-

which finally brings me to [redacted] who i've gotten a lot of inquiries about. for obvious reasons i can't tell you a whole lot about them but just know they're essentially a deity that a particular group within the fic worship.

that being said, a lot of the songs that inspired their character are mostly just vibes. not a lot of songs contain a ton of words aside from desire - slowed by hucci which is a pretty on the nose description of how [redacted]'s seen by everyone outside of their group.

i wanna breathe into your well see, i gotta hunt you i gotta bring you to my hell

and yeah, that's it! i know it's a lot read and very ramble-y, so if you took the time to read this, thank you! i had a lot of fun answering!! :)

[awakened-human-design]

Human Design | Thoughts on Gate 54, Tribal, Collective and Individual Circuity

The question of do I have kin?

Yesterday I wrote “I don't have kin” this might be offensive to my actual birth family - My Relations - and that's not what I meant at all! It's kind of paradoxical right because the more we almost leave our own tribe the more Affinity we feel for the greater whole and all people and even our own kin. We feel a deeper love for them so there's a lot I could say on this and and I'm going to try to keep it short but you know having two tribal lines has nothing to do with how I love my own family. It's more about the role I have to play in the school play of life. I think it's also not a rugged individualism that says I'm gonna go it on my own I'm gonna you know be able to survive independently because no I would die without um a tribe so I'm not talking about rugged individualism here we're talking about sacred individualism which is being able to be on your own being able to be in your own body and your own self. But also acknowledging that you do need others and to be interdependent 

…

..

.

Gâte 54 of the Marrying Maiden , leaving one tribe for another

The gate 54 of the Marrying Maiden is about actually the maiden who leaves her tribe and joins a new tribe and then you know she's « made it in the world » So in our modern sense that's like a new job or a new relationship or a new city. In pre-modern China [because we are talking about the source of the yi Ching which is the source of the Bodygraph] this was where the bride actually is walked from her parents house to the groom's house. They have a great party for three days it's really ecstatic and she stays there she doesn't go back home. It's a mythical celebration [until she moves back] to the mundane life. She's still in a tribe, the rules haven't changed and she is essentially has the same obligations to the family. This is why the gate 54 is kind of the [gate of the] « mystical to the mundane. » We think we've made it in life we think we've had some great mystical experience we've achieved success and then we have to kind of go back to « well I'm sort of just to tell the same person in a different place, a different tribe » 

…

..

.

The Western « enlightenment » pushed tribal into the unconscious - now it’s time to resurface those values of bonding and connection - but we must do so without the notion of the « nation state » - which disguises « the tribe » - and do so in a way that recognized the true example of where humanity is going, where we are going as a species, to evolve to new levels of inter connectedness and inter-being to create new stories of value that reflect that deep interdependency (transcends and includes.)

The other thing I want to say is that the tribal circuitry - it's and especially in the human design system - it's not about people really living in tribes actually we're talking about Western people — this is medicine really for Western people who…we don't really see tribalism in our day-to-day life [because] it's been pushed down beneath the surface and into the unconscious for the most part and is manifested in the form of nation states. [For example] we can look at Europe for example you might [in the past] have [witnessed the Celts and the Gauls but now they're the British and the French. But even within Britain and France there's many many more tribes but we don't talk about them right? We've pushed it all down below the surface. The United States another great example we have a right wing and a left wing we have two political parties that relate on tribal terms but we're not calling it that. 

So we're moving into an era of humanity where we're so interconnected and when we're looking at the level of tribalism that at some point might have really protected cultural values. For example like in France the French language — it might actually diminish value in the sense of asking you know « who are we » and « where are we going as a Humanity » as a collective not just as a tribe. The example that I want to give is in France when they were playing the World Cup match against England they kept chanting « those who do don't speak French aren't French » Well seems pretty obvious, right? So they're saying that to the English, yet you're watching it and the whole team is made up of West Africans um Mabappe is Cameroonian - so it's they're you know maybe grew up in France maybe their parents don't speak French their mothers probably don't speak French as a native language, the woman who's cleaning up the beer bottles and the pizza trays after the game who's working in the kitchen she probably didn't grow up speaking French. You know there's all these kind of ethnocentric values that really don't apply to the situation or the scene at the moment. Where that claim to the tribe's value might have worked for some time to kind of preserve the cultural identity [the French language] is [now] really not aligned with the way humanity is going which is that we're becoming more and more deeply interdependent and we're really needing a new set of values and a new story that aligns to this set of values that transcends and includes this tribalism and actually starts to see the inner relatedness of all things through collectivism which can only mutate through the voice of the Sacred individual.(*) (**)

…

..

.

To summarize the question of do I have can or not is not so much a sense of rejection of anyone that I'm biologically related to as much as it is an affirmation of the truth that « there's more kin to come » There's more of an invitation to evolve our sense of who is kin and ask ourselves who are My Relations and from there we can expand our sense of identity into a part of the greater whole. So it's not just me saying this. This is teachers and contemporary philosophers and Mystics of our era who are who are noticing that the evolution of human is moving towards something that has nothing to do with the filters or the glamor of appearance in enhancing what we are as much as it is in enhancing what we are in the Interiors of ourselves to create a more beautiful and true Exterior in the world around us. So that's the invitation and I'm available for questions.

*This is a little hard to explain. It’s paradoxical. The tribe can only awaken and evolve thru the blessing of the sacred individual, which as to forget the values and merits of the tribe in order to create from the boundaries of ‘collectivism’ which includes all boundaries and all tribes

** The problems we will face as a species now, until 2027 and to come will have to happen at the level of the collective, the planet as a whole, which is not kum-bah-yah unity but rather a unity in the recognition of the questions ‘who are we and where are we going » which really have no answer, and simply exsit in order to write the new story

[mandajiu]

Permission to Post. Copyright: Ember-Eos Weibo

Chewing CP sensibly: I always like to see what other CPs are doing just to remind myself that CP is a fantasy.

For the same posts 30 made about a windmill with an ip tag in Beijing, three CP's have their own opinions:

My CP: Leidi noted copywriting cheering color leaf, 8 Revolutions (Baba), rose red color and the use of the term "daze" which 88 talked about in a Bazaar magazine cover. Most importantly, lp and lg are in the same city.

Wl CP: Copywriting raised hand emoji signals 30 is thinking about her, the windmill revolutions are in sets that somehow signify key numbers for their CP, and some CPF wants to rename wl Windmill CP. (same city? - not sure as I don't follow this person).

YD: YY is about to go visit lp in Beijing. Maybe he's going to thank her for the Dior plates (I think the Dior plates were from the wife of a colleague from his latest movie, but who knows it could be a cover?) I believe in my CP, but other people might have actual candy until everything is declared.

LD/YD: Both happy lp and lg are in the same city.

My Sensible CPF Side: It would be lovely for 3088 to be together, but these are big cities people! Even if they are secretly dating, they still might be doing their own thing. If they are not and really single, let's have a second rematch. If they are with other people, trust and support all the way - yes, YD/Zfan even IF it's that CP or some other random person. AND why do I care so much? I really dig these people and feel they vibe well and it would be a shame not to explore that kind of magical connection I see.

SUMMARY: Can't we all just get along and respect each other if we are all sensible CPF's who stay in our private enclosures - for those that go outside, I honestly believe that is disrespectful.

In the end you have the fan-fans

"Pure" Fans (obviously there is some variation, but this is the party line and they keep it that way for a reason which I respect)

Bf: My queen is single. Don't use her as a tool. At least you support her other work and other CPs.

Wf: My prince is single. Don't use him as a tool. Ah, at least you support his work and his other CPs - yes, we love ZYT.

Now, both CPF really believe they are more in the right sincerely. It's just so funny how one can see one thing and interpret it so differently, just like any form of art. In the end that is what chewing CP is about: it's a play withing a play (sometimes within another play) and it actually could have verisimilitude.

Wait for the flowers to bloom yes, but in the meanwhile pick up all the candy you can for your collection and support your CP equally. What an interesting experiment I've fallen into. I hope to be in this pit only a month longer. I've picked up a good deal of Mandarin, but prefer drama watching - mostly my favs of course - to speculating on couples in entertainment. Of course, I'd love to see my favorites paired again in a modern drama!

[selenafreshfriendkidoaf]

Marriage Palm Reading

Assuming your heart line goes straight across your hand, you are more emotionless and watched in your connections. "It's an exceptionally, 'take it or leave it,' kind of individual," Saucedo says. The limits are characterized forcefully here, as you need to keep your relationship on a street you're OK with.

Marriage Palm Reading

In the event that your palm love line is curved palm heart line bended

Somewhat of a curve in your heart line addresses balance. Saucedo says this would be somebody who puts themselves first and safeguards their heart, however stays open. You bring a degree of the capacity to understand people on a profound level all through your connections, so you're ready to acknowledge when you really want to deal with yourself, and when you ought to give a potential accomplice access nearer.

Assuming your palm love line reaches out between your fingers palm heart line

A heart line that comes the entire way to the top between your fingers connotes somebody who is very supporting. "This individual is exceptionally open and giving, some of the time to her own inconvenience," Saucedo says. I sincerely apologize for breaking it to you, however you could wind up being exploited in your connections, while you endlessly provide for those you care about.

This content is imported from survey. You might have the option to track down a similar substance in another configuration, or you might have the option to track down more data, at their site.

The heart line additionally uncovers experiences about your limits. Toward the end at the edge of the hand, you could find what resembles spikes or security fencing right under the pinky. Congratulations: You have solid, clear cut limits. "On the off chance that you have an extremely open heart line serious areas of strength for and, you know who to allow in and who to give your affection to," Saucedo says. Assuming that these lines are more vulnerable or more shallow, areas of strength for suppose aren't your strong point.

tufts at end of palm heart love line

Presently, you could likewise be contemplating whether your palm lines at any point change. "It's uncommon for the heart line to change between the two hands, however I in all actuality do see it once in a while," Saucedo says. Over the long run, somebody could begin to foster more grounded limits, implied by a change in the heart line that no longer arrives at the finger.

Darlings, that is not all. Hand investigators frequently look toward a couple different elements that can reveal insight into how you approach your connections. You realize that joint region within your thumb that feels like a major crush? That is viewed as the Mount of Venus, which uncovers parts of your exotic nature and how you show love to other people. In the event that your Mount of Venus stands taller than the remainder of your hand, says Saucedo, you're somebody who loves a ton of joy.

In the event that you have a love line palm love lines

Under your pinky finger outwardly of your hand, you could track down a couple of little lines. Those are your love lines, frequently called the marriage line.

Assuming you have a warmth line or two, you have serious areas of strength for a that will traverse for what seems like forever. Think: one marriage. Then again, many minimal shallow lines hint that you're not having the most significant connections. This is self-evident, yet in the event that you notice a break or split on one of the lines, it implies you could confront an untidy separation sooner or later.

In excess of a party stunt, palmistry can go about as a rude awakening and excuse for a portion of self-reflection. All things considered, understanding who you are seeing someone reinforces your next or current association. Whenever you're on a hot date, break out your recently discovered information. You could become familiar with some things about the individual before you. At any rate? The Mount of Venus will be an extraordinary ice breaker.

[yandere--stuck]

Bad Blood - Yandere!Batman x Reader x Yandere!Joker

It wasn't just The Joker who had been watching you. And to a point, you were aware of that.

After all, that just came with the territory of being a minor celebrity within Gotham city. It wasn't often that those considered "famous" in Gotham didn't either have connections to the mafia or were locked up within Arkham or Blackgate. 

As a reporter, you were watched on the news, on the streets - occasionally approached by fans, at parties where you mingled with your peers or made connections. All rather normal, really.

But, there were times when you could just feel it in your bones. You were being watched.

Like in the dark of night, the moon following you on your walk home. Alone. When the light from street lamps bathed everything in orange. The streets empty, the occasional car zooming by. It was then that you had felt watched.

It was understandable, something innate in humans, to feel frightened of the dark and the paranoia of being alone. Our imaginations run wild, and we trick ourselves into thinking that there's something out there with us. Someone following our every move, hiding just out of sight. But, no matter how many times you swore you were being watched, nothing ever happened. No muggings, no stalkers, no threats. When you got back to your apartment, unlocking and then re-locking all six of the locks on your door, you were able to let out a sigh of relief - it was just your own paranoia getting the best of you. You weren't being followed. You could relax, knowing that it was all in your head.

But, it wasn't.

Your paranoia wasn't unfounded. The shiver of your spine at the feeling of being watched wasn't your mind tricking itself. But, of course, even when you'd turn around to try and spot someone, something, you hadn't been able to see him. He had hid in the shadows and crouched atop rooftops, keeping watch over you.

He had done so every night. The moment you left the studio, to when you started your walk, and then headed home. He even stuck around to peer through your window, making sure you were truly safe. It wasn't something any of the Robins or Oracle knew about - it wasn't something they had to know. Well… It's not like he exactly lied about what he was doing during the alotted time of your walk home. But, he also didnt want to admit it, either - not that he thought what he was doing was wrong, but… He just didn't want anyone to be worried. To get the wrong idea. And it rarely took time out of his nightly patrol, just fifteen minutes. It wasn't a big deal.

He was just protecting you. That was just his job. He was supposed to protect the people of Gotham. To protect you. He just had a… Fixation, that's all. And when Bruce gets fixated on something, it's like pulling teeth for him to keep away.

Bruce met you like he does with most reporters - at a charity event. He had seen your stories on the news a few times beforehand, and braced himself for the usual song and dance - Vicki Vale trying to score something on the record for something much juicier and personal than the cause he was donating to, or perhaps Jack Ryder trying to rile him up to get him to throw a fit for a story. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when you treated him like an actual person. Sure, it could be that you were off the clock - but really, when were reporters ever really off the clock?

Most people would bend over backwards to get themselves into Brice Wayne's good graces. But, you… You talked to him like he was no different than anyone else. Maybe a bit reserved, but you had only just met, after all. In spite of this, Bruce found himself able to relax, chatting with you about the party, about your days up to then, your different careers. Bruce felt like he could actually be himself. With you, he wasn't Batman, nor was he billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. He was just… Himself.

Him and you.

He decides to stick by your side most of the evening, you and him talking long into the night. About your lives, your worries, your hobbies, your interests. It had been so long since he talked about such personal things with someone, even Alfred. And you understand. You understand his worries of responsibility, the weight of the world among his shoulders, you understand the suffocation of isolation, you under his inability to move on from the trauma of his past, try as he might. You understand. Of course you do…

You acted as someone to vent to. A listening ear. You offered up advice, even if you might not have the right answers to his problem. Sure, you might not know the full extent of his stress, but it's the thought that counts. It's almost like this night was made for you and him. 

Something like, fate - that is, if Bruce had actually believed in something like that.

After that night, he found himself making a point to watch you on the news. The way you talked on the television is how you talked with him that night. Personable, comfortable, familiar. You might not be talking to him directly, but it warms his heart and staves off the icy chill of loneliness.

He went out of his way to find you during other important, publicized events. Most likely, you probably thought it was a coincidence that you kept finding yourself in his company. You most likely thought him as just an acquaintance, nothing more… But, oh, you meant so much to him.

And, oh, when you talked about Batman? Knowing that it was him you were talking about (even if you had no idea)... He'd be lying if it didn't make him a bit flustered. Your praises, the way you saw him as an inspiration, hoping after every mission that he was alright… And when you look into the camera and say to him, to Batman, through the screen, that you wish him a nice night and to be safe…?

God. He was smitten. And, really, that was his biggest mistake.

Feelings just made things complicated. He had learned that a long time ago. That everything he touched and loved was inevitably destroyed. It's why he works alone more often than not. He doesn't want someone getting hurt because of him ever again. Bruce has enemies, and Batman has even more. 

Even if he had tried to reach out to you as Bruce, as himself, who's to say you would have wanted to be with him? Why would someone like you want Bruce Wayne - someone who most of Gotham portrayed as an immature playboy who never got over the death of his parents. While the second part wasn't exactly wrong, the whole playboy thing was just a diversion. But, how in the hell was he supposed to explain that?

It was easier to just let you go. You'd be happier, and more importantly, safer without his presence in your life.

So, he satiated himself on watching you, protecting you from the shadows, and kept himself sane by rewatching footage of you he's stashed within your home and around your apartment building. If he adored you from afar, that wouldn't hurt anything, right?

… But now, he's wishing he had just taken the chance. He had been good, had left you alone.

And he watched as the helicopter you were in was shot down. Watched as the recording cut off. Heard as you screamed at the top of your lungs. He replayed what he had seen over and over in his mind, losing himself. Bruce had gone so tense in disbelief and grief and rage that by the time Alfred had brought him back to reality, his nails had dug into the armrest of his loveseat.

He had insisted to himself later that night that  investigating the scene of the crime wasn't fueled by personal connection or any feelings he may have. It was Batman's job. And if he ignores all the other bodies in favor of one that is presumed to be yours, it's just because he notices something different about it from the other's, that's all.

The body was decomposed far beyond that of the others, and had been exposed to the elements longer than the others. And to add onto that, the DNA sample Bruce had collected was matched with a body that had been gone missing from Gotham General.

Bruce's heart fluttered with hope and relief. You were alive, you had to be. But, just as quickly, realization crashed into him. If you were alive, it's only because Joker wanted you to be.

... What was he doing to you?

---

You stared down at the meal the Clown Prince of Crime had prepared for you - well, if you could call heating up a frozen dinner "preparing". It's not like you were exactly in a place to complain, though, considering the predicament you were stuck in.

Counting the time you had spent unconscious and Joker getting you situated and up to speed, it was most likely a few hours since the incident. You were feeling rather hungry… But, in spite of all of The Joker's lovey-dovey talk, you weren't quite sure if you could trust him to not serve you poisoned food. Even worse, however, was that you were still tied up - meaning the clown had to feed you, and you were even more unsure that he wouldn't kill you if you refused to eat.

In spite of the circumstances, and the dingy place you were trapped in, it wasn't exactly the worst. Hell, Joker had even lit up some candles for some mood lighting. Not exactly the worst "date", you had been on, sadly enough.

"Ready for some grub?" The Joker lurched into view, straightening his tie as he shot you a grin. "You must have worked up quite an appetite by now, considering all the excitement!"

You smiled in return, hoping it didn't look too strained as you nodded. You watched as he got his utensils ready, cutting up some of the food into smaller bites. You kept especially close attention on the hand holding a knife - though, it wasn't like you had any way to flee if he had decided to turn it on you.

The Joker stabbed at the food with a fork, setting down the knife, as he moved to raise your meal to your lips, while you attempted not to turn your head away. The fork approached closer and closer, and you tried to rid your mind of awful thoughts, like an eye being ripped out of its socket, implanted on the fork's tongues. But, then, The Joker suddenly stopped.

"Oh, silly me! I almost forgot," The Clown Prince set down the utensils, digging into the inside of his suit. With a flourish, he unveiled a bright, colorful, and clearly plastic flower, holding it out to you. "A present for you, m'dear! Go on, take a whiff."

You shook in your seat. Oh, God. You knew exactly where this was going. He had played you this whole time, like predators played with their food. He had made you think he had developed this obsession with you and managed to lull you into a false sense of security. And just when you were sure you were going to make it out of this situation alive, he planned to hit you with his trademark laughing gas and watch as you died.

You held back tears, shivering with fear and despair. And The Joker looked so happy, so encouraging. You were going to die. You had hit the end of the road.

You leaned forward, taking a breath through your nose-

And jumped, letting out a scream as the ceiling caved in, a dark figure crashing through. You whipped your head to face it- and winced as a small stream of water hit your cheek. Blinking once, twice, three times, you slowly turned to the clown and the trick flower in his hand.

Oh. So, it was just a regular trick flower. Not a deadly one. Okay. Okay, yeah. Sure. Great.

Groaning softly, your whole body went limp. You hung your head, shaking it slowly. Whatever. Whatever happened next, you didn't care. You were too exhausted.

"Aw, c'mon, Bats! Don'tcha know it's rude to upstage someone's act?" Joker asked. "Besides, you weren't invited to our little date night..."

...Batman?

From your periphery, you could see it. See him. 

Oh, thank God. Thank fucking God. You were saved! Batman was going to save you!

All the tiredness seemed to instantly fade as you were overwhelmed with adrenaline and relief. You were saved. You were saved. Batman was going to save you. Batman was going to protect you and make sure you were all right. You didn't have to worry or be scared anymore. Batman would do all of the worrying for you.

"You broke out of Arkham, killed innocent people, and kidnapped the sole survivor after almost killing them, as well," Batman seethed, his voice a growl. "You're going back to Arkham, and I'll be taking them with me, where they'll be safe."

"Hey! First off, the whole helicopter thing wasn't me, it was one of my boys. Well… To be fair, I had intended on killing them when we downed the thing, but eh, two birds with one stone, I suppose. I wouldn't even have been mad about it, if my darling reporter here hadn't almost been hurt in the crash," The Joker moved behind you, making you seize up as he grasped your shoulders, massaging them slightly. "And really, Bats, if this is some kind of jealousy thing, you could always just ask to share."

"You're insane." Batman spat.

"Babes, you really need to get some better material," The Clown tutted. "And I was being honest! I'm actually trying to communicate here," You were suddenly spun around, locking eyes with your hero. You shuddered as the Joker nuzzled you from behind, unable to stop your face from heating up. "What do you think, darling? How's about a three-way date with me and the big bad Bat?"

"I… I-I-" You stuttered, unable to get a coherent thought put as you burned with embarrassment.

Could anyone blame you for having a little  crush on Batman? You'd bet a good majority of Gothamites felt the same toward their dear Dark Knight. Hell, you'd even bet that some of the Rogues that the Caped Crusader went up against had feelings for him. It was pretty obvious the Joker did, at least.

And the Joker… He was a monster. A criminal. But, the time you've spent with him… Well, you could better understand how Dr. Quinnzel fell for the man. Despite your knowledge of the horrible crimes he committed, the way he treated you so kindly, it was hard to not get flustered, to not feel special. It was hard to ignore his humor, his affection for you, his pet names, his sweet gestures- no, no. This- this was ridiculous. You had to stop. You weren't thinking straight.

"Get your hands off of them!" The Bat spat.

"But I don't wanna!" Joker let out an exaggerated whine, before descending into giggles. Painted lips brushed against your neck. "Besides, I don't think they want me to…"

You felt hypersensitive, the brush of the Clown's lips drawing a whine from your throat.

Your eyes shot open wide as a pained scream ripped from Joker. You turned as best you could, watching the man stumble back, clutching his hand - a batarang sticking piercing through it, blood bubbling up from the wound and dripping to the floor.

The Joker hissed, bristling with rage. "Bats, why you-!"

In an instant, Batman shot put his batclaw, the claw digging into The Joker's suit, before retracting. The Joker stumbled as he rocketed forward, his face immediately colliding with Batman's fist. Before he could fall back, the Dark Knight caught him by the throat and squeezed. The Clown wheeled and coughed in shock at the closing of his windpipe and his desperation to breathe. The Bat slowly lifted another fist - and hit the other man so hard that even you winced. You watched as Joker fell onto his back with a low groan. The Batman stood above him, glowering and breathing heavily as he looked down on his nemesis.

"Batsy, babe… Ya know I love it when you play rough, but Jesus, warn a guy first, will ya?" The Joker laughed wearily, seemingly in a daze. 

Sneering, Batman grabbed his nemesis by his coat, tossing him aside onto his stomach. His foot came down to stomp onto his arm, making the other man whimper, and the Bat reached down to rip the batarang free from his hand, and in turn, ripping a scream from Joker's throat. Pulling out a pair of batcuffs, the Caped Crusader roughly restrained the man's arms, before lifting him to his feet.

"Careful with the merchandise…" The Joker grumbled.

With a second pair of cuffs, the Bat attached one of the cuffs to the Joker's ankle, the Clown laughing as he attempted to kick at the Bat to heed his progress, and then the other to a metal support pillar protruding from the floor.

And then, in the next instant, Batman was at your side, diligently working to free you from the shackles that bound you. As the restraints loosened, you took in a deep breath before letting out a shuddering sigh. You tried to stand, only for your legs to give out from under you - you had spent so long in that position that your legs had fallen asleep - but it was okay. Batman caught you. He caught you and he held you and pulled you into a hug. A gloved hand petted your hair soothingly.

"It's okay. You're safe, you're okay," The Bat rumbled. "I've got you."

This. This was what you loved most about The Batman. As much as he was revered for the fear he struck into the heart of evil, how he acted as a phantom in the night, fighting back against the criminals that roamed Gotham in the night… What you loved most was what came after. Your interviews with survivors of criminal attacks are what made you grow a fondness for the Dark Knight. How comforting they said he was. How he reassured them, made them feel safe. When he was there, they knew everything was okay. They knew they were safe. That everything was going to be okay.

Everything was going to be okay.

And you melted into his hold.

He continued to murmur reassurances as he began to massage your legs until the static feeling went away and you found the strength to stand - and even then, he let you lean against him as you walked out into the night together.

"You'll pay for this, Bats," The Joker spat, expression dark… Until he locked eyes with you, and his visage softened. "How about same time next week, love?"

Before you could think of responding, Batman pulled out of the building and far, far away from the madman within.

---

Bruce had to fight to keep his driving steady. His body was flooded with adrenaline and his heart rabitted a mile a minute. His entire being felt electric.

He had touched you, held you. And you held him back, reassured and calmed by him. It was everything he had dreamed of. You had leaned against for support and let him help you climb into the batmobile.

He had managed to track The Joker down to one of his usual hideouts that he and Harley stayed at - an old, abandoned amusement park that had been sold to him. Well, would have been sold to him, if he hadn't killed the owner of the property before they could seal the deal.

He kept sneaking glances at you from the corner of his eye. You, resting your head against the window, eyes shut as you tried to get some rest after everything you had been through. You could rest for as long as you liked. He was here now. Bruce would keep you safe.

Bruce took his usual shortcut into the batcave, driving into a cave opening just outside the manor, and you lifted your head, startled by the sudden turn and shift in light behind your eyes.

"Batman, where are we?"

Home.

You gasped as restraints wrapped over your ligaments, tying you down to the seat.

Bruce knew this was wrong. But, after such a long career as the Batman, he had learned that he often had to do the wrong thing in order to get the right outcome. He really wished there was any other way… But, you had a target on your head now. You'd be safe with him. He'd keep you deep within the batcave and visit you often. 

You sputtered, eyes wide with shock and disbelief and… Betrayal. Bruce hated the thought of you looking at him like that. He leaned over, softly pressing a kiss to your forehead. He felt you shiver under his touch.

He'd get you settled and comfortable. He'd reveal his true self to you at some point, but that was for later. You had been through enough for one night.

"You're safe now." Bruce lied promised. "I've got you."

[1111jenx]

PICK A CARLA BRUNI

—JENX TAROT READING

@What do you urgently need to hear right now?

check out my previous PAC I & II & III & IV & V & VI.

Hi love its your girl Jenx back at it again with another PAC reading. Last few weeks were glazed with love yet a lot of them are for others, this week we'll focus on the love from within. Please keep in mind that since I’m reading for a lot of y'all, some would resonate more while the others might not with some specific details as I’m channeling certain images and different things💗 This week was so different because I didn't get separate messaged like I usually do, rather than that they all came to me collectively, so I want you all to read through whichever pile you feel the most connected with, there will be only 2 today:) I promise I won't disappoint you.

Pick one of the images above & scroll down to read your tailored reading. As you pick between the images, think about yourself and yourself only, about all the past you you can recall, focus in the you in the moment and your highest potentials, then use your intuition to pick one.

Pile 1

Pile 1💗 Welcome loves. I'm seeing a lot of Gemini/Mercury energy along with Sun energy and Aquarius energy too. I'm also seeing some Neptune energy along with earth energy for some reason haha, yet I love it. Lets get into your reading. I won't beat around the bush with you. I know someone broke your heart in the past. Recent for some of you, not so for the others. Someone who you thought could have been your soulmate, the love of your life, some how managed to shatter your heart into a million of pieces. They lied to you. They had you in their little palms. Controlled the situations and manipulated it, hurting you so so much. They have very intense eyes and I think they might be pretty wealthy. Or they have some money somewhere. They're surrounded by the colour red, dark red. So I think they were driven by lust. They have very intense eyes, beautiful ones but very dark. The number "25" might be very significant. They lied to you and not only broke your relationship, but also your trust. They chose lust in the end when they should have chose love. I'm so sorry my love. You did not deserve that one bit. I just heard "3rd party situation" but this is only for VERY specific people. Some of them could have wrote very long explanation to you, yet its all to cover up the fact that they were flighty and were not committed enough. And so they left, but they didn't take all of you within. Something in you changed that day my love. And that thing that they forgot to take, was hope. The one thing you didn't even realize you still have to this day.

Your energy was really hard to channel in love. I'm not going to lie to you. My cards felt like they wanted to cry during yours and I was too. Are there anything hidden in your heart that you're yet to be ready to expose others to? Perhaps even to yourself. I'm just seeing that you're taking these memories and put them into your bag, one by one slowly. I can feel that something happened recently that just felt very sudden in general. You may yet to understand why it's happening but trust me, this was meant to happen. This realization is going to be the light that guides you through your journey. Your guides are certain of this. K names just popped up. R names and B names too. H names.

I'm also seeing tea. It looks like a little tea party? Theres children for some reason. Theres also a group of 4 people giggling and chatting. Theres also a horse and a green field.

I'm also seeing tea. It looks like a little tea party? Theres children for some reason. Theres also a group of 4 people giggling and chatting. Theres also a horse and a green field.

I think for others of you you guys are feeling very stressed because of work? Suddenly I'm also sensing major Aries energy and I feel that its possible a male in your life maybe a bit bossy? This person can be an authority figure or just someone you have a lot of respect for. They care fo you a lot and they genuinely want you to go far in life, yet in order to so that they know you'll be forced to face with many difficult decision. You and this person shared some fond memories and while they truly treasure it, they feel that you're made for bigger and better things in life. They know that you're someone who's very resilient and can get through almost anything, since you have soon familiarized yourself to that. I'm seeing a beard. A man who doesn't smile that often. But he gives off such good and warm energy. I'm also seeing that you recently must have received some kind of news that wasn't necessary the best and you haven beaten yourself up a lot about it. Perhaps that you even tried to run around and find the solution to it yet you feel like nothing works, like you're in the middle holding the end of 2 strings? I'm so sorry love. You do need a hug today don't you? Lemme assure you with this. You soon will come to a solution that would even shock you yourself and you'll realize that life doesn't just end here. You're not meant to be an ordinary person. And I say that with my entire heart. You are not. You are anything but ordinary dear. Please go and escape the darkness thats your doubt and fear and open your mind to the beautiful moonlight(?!) and opportunities ahead. I'm also feeling a lot of Moon energy so something exciting might come up this Full Moon for you. Tell me that you're not going to stop here, tell me that you're going to trust yourself and pursue your dreams. Your guide want me to make sure that they see everything. They know you didn't have the easiest childhood, your so-called friends weren't the best now were they? But they promise you, this is not where you're meant to be. Push it through with me love. We got this always. I love you and you're appreciated.

Pile 2

Hi Pile 2! Welcome to your reading:) Thank you for choosing to tune in today loves. First and foremost, I'm seeing a lot of Leo/Sun energy along with Sagittarius, Capricorn and Cancer energy. Also sensing a lot of Neptune energy and Pisces too!! Welcome loves. As I was shuffling your card one thing I kept hearing was how urgent you guys need to hear this. Like I keep hearing SOS SOS and I had to pause to catch my breath. Haha so I knew from the get go that you guys seriously needed this. For some of you I'm also seeing some 4th house placements and some minor Virgo/Mercury energy. Also 9th house placements too. (Taurus energy popped out at the end for some of you too loves)

I think you guys have been doing a lot of thinking recently, this can be about something that will ultimately change your life professionally or romantically. I'm feeling that you are feeling very stressed, and I also head "butterflies in my stomach" as I was thinking about you guys. Your energy feels very gentle and serene. You guys recently had some kind of courage to speak up and to finally make a decision. I think you guys felt very determined with your choice. But something happened that seriously brought you down now didn't it? I think your ego took a blow because of this event and you can't help but blame yourself. That you had made the wrong choice. But is it really? You just opened yourself up to such unconventional experiences and you've been receiving informations and unique opportunities that you had yet to realize. I know that right now, it might feel like you're being pushed off a cliff, and you're just hanging there, waiting for someone to show up and help you. But I promise you, the only person that will come is you. Only you can be your own knight in shining armour. Only you can be your own savior baby. Count on no one. You're so much stronger than you know. I'm also seeing that we have some 2nd house placements here in the house, or some 2nd house matters (self-esteem, financial resources, one's resources in general) here. It seems to me that you guys are feeling as if you can't open yourself up to the utmost of intimacy? Along with some kind of creativity block. Baby I don't blame you. Lately it is not only you that has been going through this. And no before you say another word, you did not dig your own hole. You did not make a mistake. Theres no such thing as mistakes. Only experiences that promised to build you up and assure you about tomorrow.

You give me the vibes of someone who look very serious on the outside or just very "no bs" in general, people feel drawn to you yet they secretly fear your power. Deep down, you give me the vibes of a goddess. Moon goddess for a lot of you. Regardless the light that you radiate is very special. You have a softer side to you, a more nurturing side if I may. You guys probably have 2 very close friends that you hold close to heart. They have somewhat different hair colours though, one has lighter and the others is darker leaning brown/black. One of them might play an instrument and might be very seductive haha, that one cares for you so much. I'm sorry if this message doesn't resonate for everyone but it just came out so strong. I'm also seeing a man thats supposed to be resting and focusing on themselves yet they're restless and just tryna go out there to be go-getter vibes?? Number 7 might be significant. The colour white. Some of you are surrounded in some kind of gold-brown colours. I'm also seeing a Virgo placements or Earth/Air dominant coming up to you with some kind of offer. They told me "the show must go on" right now haha so that must mean something. They're going to tell you something that will ignite the fire in you once again. Don't push them away loves. They mean well.

Something big is coming. And you can feel this. You can feel that some kind of truth will be brought to light. Someone that had been doing you so wrong will finally be outed and they'll have to face the consequences. But sadly, so will you. This experience will make you take a hard look at yourself and ask the one question we all are afraid of. Am I on the right path?

I asked your guides for permission to dig deeper into your energy and I saw something I'm not sure you wanted me to see. For some of you, I'm seriously sorry for the shits that happened when you were a kid. You were young. And knowing that much, seeing that much was unfair. I know that as a child there were certain financial constrains for a lot of you. And this obsession with the material world stays, til this very day didnt it. For the rest of you, I think you guys lost a lot of hope this world very early on. I'm sorry, that was unfair. You guys were lied to, distracted by others and you just felt as if you're not even in control of your own emotions? So you box yourself up. You cover your pain and sufferings by burying yourself in work. Listen to me right now, never underestimate your own power. Within you and your heart I see strength. I see power and spectacular business capabilities. You guys will go far in life and you have an insatiable need for success, which you will get. But that doesn't mean you should block out your feels. That doesn't mean you can distract yourself loves. Its okay to just feel things sometimes. Also another big messages coming out is that I'm seeing there will be some kind of decision need to be made. You must not be lost in the choices and must ground yourself to make this decision. Theres gonna be times where you will literally want to run away. But promise me, you won't give in. Promise me you won't give up because you're not there yet. You have a big heart my love. Don't be afraid of past wounds which cause you to hide it🤍

— Thank you guys for reading it til the end🤎 For more posts like this please be sure to check out my masterlist <3 be sure to reblog if you enjoy this too beautiful!!

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2021 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[the-kaedageist]

I loved your meta about Liam's main campaign characters and I was curious if you'd given any thoughts to where Lieve'tel might fall on the spectrum if anywhere.

I LOVE THIS QUESTION. I actually thought about it as I was writing my meta, but I decided not to go down the slippery slope of having to eventually look at all of Liam's one-shot characters! Lieve'tel really does fit well within the framework of this meta, though.

It's been a bit since I've watched the Search for Grog/Bob, but I think Lieve'tel is an embodiment of "other people's grief" mixed with the acceptance stage. She occupies a similar space to Caduceus, in terms of being a grave cleric, but where Caduceus is an exploration of connection to death, Lieve'tel feels like more of a connection to grief, which is great because it really articulates the different ways that both Liam and Tal tackle this difficult subject in their roleplaying.

Lieve'tel was also brought into the party particularly to poke at the wound of the recent loss of Vax, which is a fascinating choice. Liam could have made any one-shot character, but he chose a cleric of the Raven Queen and a woman who is so similar to Vax in aesthetic? This was clearly meant to address the grief in the party, especially on the parts of Keyleth and Vex, and bring it to the surface. Because of this, and the fact that we haven't seen much of Lieve'tel's own connection with loss, I would say that she plays the role of highlighting the grief in others.

Then you have the fact that she's the only character to actively die in those one-shots and they have to bring her back via ritual! Despite how Vex and Keyleth feel about her connection to the Raven Queen! It's wild because I don't even think Liam did that on purpose but it ended up absolutely poetic.

[mypoisonedvine]

A Beautiful Little Fool | dark!Sebastian Stan x reader (The Great Gatsby AU)

well, The Great Gatsby entered the public domain today, so I thought I’d besmirch it with some filthy dark smut.  overall I did not put too much effort into relating my story to the plot or themes of the novel, just the setting and basic instigating actions, so don’t look too hard for an obvious allegory or familiar characters.  this stunning moodboard (and, best of all, the incredible edits of seb as gatsby) was made by @nsfwsebbie​ who was also so kind as to beta for me and be my sounding board, thank you so much!!

summary: a reclusive millionaire throws extravagant parties in hopes that his lost love will attend and he can get one more chance to win her back.  one can get used to getting whatever they desire, a little too comfortable with the idea that money can attain anything.

word count: 5.2k

warnings: smut (noncon/heavy dubcon), forced infidelity, a touch of breeding kink, period-accurate sexism (if anything it's a bit more toned down compared to 'period-accurate'), very slight yandere energy, obsession, one (1) slap

all my works are 18+, if you are under 18 please do not read

I was within and without; simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.

You could already hear the music and you were still a block away.  “Sounds like quite the ball,” Walter observed, and you clung tighter onto his arm as you walked with him along the damp pavement.  “Seems like the rumors might just be true about Stan parties.”

“All the rumors are true,” you informed him quickly, pulling your shawl up to protect your shoulders a bit better from the chilly evening breeze, “except for one.”

You took in a slow, deep breath as you observed the mansion from the outside; partygoers were mingling about in the yard and gardens, even though it was much too cold to be outside for very long, in your humble opinion.  Walter opened the door for you, being polite that way, but you found yourself hesitating before you stepped in out of the dark and the cold into the overwhelming light and warmth of his mansion.

You thought maybe you could avoid him, at least for the first hour or so of the party, but it was like he had been waiting at the door just for you to arrive, twiddling his ring-adorned thumbs in that gaudy tuxedo of his.

“Darling!” Sebastian greeted with a beaming grin, outstretching his arms (a cane in one hand, and a drink in the other) to wrap you in an embrace.  “You’re late!”

“Fashionably,” you defended with a nervous laugh, pulling back from the hug a little sooner than he seemed to want you to.  You almost forgot Walter was standing right beside you, and an awkward beat made you suddenly remember they ought to be introduced.  “Oh!  Sebastian, I’m not sure you’ve met my fiancé, Walter Penner.”

“Pleasure,” Walter offered his hand for a handshake, smiling warmly.  “Your home is stunning, I must say.  You… really know how to throw a party.”

Sebastian just shrugged like it was nothing before returning the handshake, but his cheeks were a little pinker than they were before— maybe it was just the draft you’d let in when you and your date had entered the front door.  “The pleasure’s all mine,” he assured, “I’ve been hearing so much about you from your lovely fiancée here, I’m excited to see if it’s all true.”

“Walter said the same thing about you, outside,” you admitted with a sheepish grin, and your date cast you a brief glare of embarrassment.

“She’s never been too good at keeping secrets,” Sebastian chuckled, “yours, mine, or hers.”

The negging comment made your cheeks warm a little, wondering if you should defend yourself, but Walter spoke instead.  “You must be used to it by now, I hear the two of you have been close friends since you were children.”

Memories of summer flashed in your mind, of green soft grass between toes and secret hideaways in trees and warm sunshine casting the countryside in a golden glow.  It seemed like that was all so far away now, the hilly landscape replaced with industry, the sun outshined by the electrical lights that seemed to cover nearly the entire mansion these days.  

“Yes,” Sebastian agreed, tearing you from your train of imaginative thought and turning to address you, “you’ve known me since I was just a penniless dreamer with two good legs.”

You were a little surprised he was so comfortable admitting that he didn’t come from wealth.  Maybe some people thought it was more inspiring that way, but others would say that it was impossible for him to truly shed his place in society as a poor sharecropper’s son.  

But then again, they would say the same thing about you, and you’d become engaged to the wealthiest bachelor in Manhattan, as well as a man you were lucky enough to say you were truly in love with.

Sebastian let the two of you go and enjoy the party for a while, though you were sure you could feel his eyes on you all the while.  Walter went and fetched the two of you some drinks, while you waited beside a small statuette that Sebastian must have collected some time, tilting your head as you observed it.  He had an eye for art that you couldn’t relate to, although you at least understood why he might enjoy a bronze cast of a beautiful nude woman.

As some young women flocked in a group beside you, their conversation became impossible to ignore.  “He’s single,” one of them announced, “and fabulously wealthy.  The perfect man.”

“Yes,” another agreed, “but he’s so reserved.”

“I like that!” the first defended.

“I think you’d like anything about somebody who could afford to throw a party like this,” yet another accused with a smirk.  A fit of giggles made it seem like the rest agreed with that sentiment.

“You’re all just jealous because he was looking at me,” she frowned defensively.  “He’ll want a wife sometime, and I’ll be here waiting.”

You were almost compelled to butt in, but if you told them the truth they probably wouldn’t even believe you.  Some papers had reported that the elusive Mr. Stan was disinterested in dating or engagement, but usually attributed it to eccentricity or promiscuousness.  What they had not discovered was that he was still hung up on his childhood love, the girl next door who had captured his heart as a boy and never given it back— not for a lack of trying.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t considered it, in fact you had returned his affections many years ago when he left to fight in the Great War.  It seemed that with you and Sebastian, it was always the right person at the wrong time; and maybe, deep down, you knew that Walter had been the wrong person at the right time, but your love for him was true if forced.  He didn’t make you laugh like Sebastian could, but in the end it was best that the two of you stay friends and that he finally take up any of the lovely girls vying for his affection.  Maybe some were only seeking his money… okay, maybe all of them were only seeking his money, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a girl worth his time in the bunch.  An ambitious man like Sebastian wouldn’t have much trouble forging a real connection with someone like the woman standing beside you know, gossiping about how secretive and handsome he was.

When the chit-chat stopped, you looked up to see what had garnered their attention… only to find Sebastian standing right beside you.  “I bought this in Sicily, thinking it was an original, but I learned recently that it’s a fake,” he informed you.  You furrowed your brow in confusion until he pointed forward and you realized he was referring to the statue you’d been staring at.  

“Oh!  Right,” you mumbled.

“I still keep it on display because as of yet, nobody else can tell the difference,” he admitted.  There he was lifting that façade again, letting his guests see a glimpse of the dirty truth he usually hid away.

“What’s inspiring this openness, Sebastian?” you asked him with a nervous giggle.  “Are you high on something?”

“Just your presence,” he returned with a flirtatious grin, “and a bit of opium.”

You knew he was joking, although the ladies eavesdropping nearby didn’t seem so sure.  “Yes, I think an opium addiction would suit you nicely,” you rolled your eyes, “to go with all this excessiveness you indulge yourself in.”

“I think I’ll just stick with the champagne for now,” he decided.  “Have you had some yet?  It’s exquisite.”

“Walter went to fetch me some,” you remembered, glancing out into the crowd to see if you’d find him there looking for you.

“Oh, perfect!” 

You weren’t sure what was perfect about that.

“I’ve been meaning to speak with you, in private, if I can,” he explained.

That idea didn’t sit right with you.  Even just speaking to him now without your fiancé nearby was a bit scandalous, but at least there were plenty of people nearby to witness to the fact that nothing especially untoward had occurred.  Being truly alone with him sounded much more dangerous.  “You can,” you replied solemnly, “but I can’t say that you will.”

“Please,” he whispered, just a hint of his desperation becoming apparent.  You nodded and he smiled back at you, guiding you across the foyer and up the stairs.  He grabbed a drink from a waiter and handed it to you as you dutifully followed him upstairs, glancing down over the banister at the merriment before he led you into his room, the sounds of the party fading to near silence behind the door as he closed it behind you.

"Do you like the party, darling?" he asked as you swallowed a gulp of champagne which tingled at the back of your throat and did less to calm your nerves than you’d hoped.

"Yes," you nodded, "your parties are always… lavish."

"It's all for you," he informed you with a gentle smile.  "All this: the music, the fireworks, the champagne—" he motioned to the glass in your hand— "it's all for you."

"For… me?"

He stepped closer with a chuckle, that light little chuckle that you’d grown to understand meant ‘oh, you silly little thing.’  “Of course.  Who else?  I love you, darling, I’ve loved you all my life— you know that.”

“And I’m engaged to Walter,” you reminded him. “You know that, too.”

His smile faded slightly, and you saw him trying to shake that anger that was always waiting just below the surface.  “Yes, I know that.  I’m not stupid—”

"You must be if you think this is going to work, that I’ll leave him for you because… because what?  You threw me a party?”

“I threw you a thousand parties.  Every single one, it was all a show— all the dancing and the small talk, I don’t need it.  It could just be the two of us, for all I care.”

“I could hardly imagine we’d finish all the booze…”

“Don’t joke with me.  Do I look like I’m joking?”

“You’re funny either way; you hardly speak with me, you hardly know me, and you think you love me.”

You gasped as he stepped forward, grabbing your wrist tightly.  A sharp sound made you understand that your champagne flute had fallen to the floor and shattered, but you didn’t see it because you couldn’t look away from his icy blue eyes piercing through you as they burned with rage.  “I love you.  I’ve never loved anyone or anything like I love you.  And you’re gonna love me, too.”

Protests died in your throat as the air was knocked from your lungs when he pushed you back into the wall.  He forced his lips over yours, holding the back of your neck so you couldn’t turn your face away.  Your free hand beat at his chest before it, too, was pinned by the wrist while he sighed and moaned against you, pushing his tongue between your lips.  A swift kick to the shin deterred him more effectively, knocking him back just enough to let you run for the door.  Your fingertips just barely brushed against the cold metal of the doorknob before he grabbed you at the waist and pulled you back.  “Help!” you screamed hoarsely.

“Nobody’s gonna hear you,” he laughed, pressing his chest against your back, his breath hot on your neck.  “The party’s too loud.”

He spun you around quickly, leaning in for another kiss.  “Walter!” you yelped, purely out of instinct, but he stopped you with a hand clamped over your mouth.

“How dare you say his name,” he hissed.  “How dare you bring him into my house?”

You couldn’t answer with his strong fingers holding your mouth shut, but you could mumble indistinctly as you began to cry.

“Has he fucked you?  Hm?” he interrogated coldly.  Afraid of giving no answer at all, you hesitated before shaking your head.  Sebastian smiled a little bit as he let his hand slip down from your face, his expression softening.

“He’s… he’s a real gentleman,” you explained weakly.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Sebastian chuckled incredulously.  “Never thought you’d want someone so… traditional.”

“He treats me right,” you continued.

“That can’t be true, if he hasn’t taken you properly,” he smirked.  “God, you don’t even know how good you can feel, do you?  Poor girl.  I have half a mind to throw you over that bed and show you right now.”

“N-no, Seba, please, you wouldn’t,” you stammered anxiously, watching his eyes drift from your own down to your lips, and your neck, and your chest.  You knew the plunging neckline was a bad idea.

“You haven’t called me that since we were children.  I miss that, when you still cared for me.”

“I’ve always cared for you, it’s you that pushed me away,” you reminded him.  “But it’s okay, we’ll be close again, like we used to.  We’ll be friends.  Just… just let me go, we should go back outside… your guests are expecting you.”

“What was that game we used to play back then?” he wondered aloud, ignoring your suggestion entirely.  “It was your favorite.”

“Ch-checkers?”

He grinned, more devilish than before.  “No… it was ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’”

You looked away, wincing at his mocking laughter as he held you a little tighter; the back of your dress was rather low, meaning that his rough hand was stroking your exposed back which made the hairs at the nape of your neck stand up.

“Do you still remember how to play?” he purred as he spun you back and tossed you onto the bed.  You tried to sit up but he was already on you, reaching under your dress to grab at your pantyhose.  

“W-wait,” you whimpered, but he had already found your undergarments and begun to pull them down your thighs.

“These legs,” he growled, “god, I can’t get enough of ‘em.  You know what you do to me, sweetheart?”

He answered his own question rather quickly as he grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to where he was kneeling on the bed— pressing the back of your thigh against the hard shape tenting his trousers.  You grimaced and looked back up at the ceiling, but he grabbed your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, pulling your face back down to look at where he was hovering over you.  

“No, no, darling, don’t look away,” he cooed, “I want you to see this.”

He lifted your leg as he turned his head to the side, never breaking from your gaze as he started to kiss your skin, moving up your calves and dipping lower to reach your inner thigh.  You weren’t entirely sure what he was doing, but you felt it sending shivers up your body as he moved closer and closer to somewhere he was very much not supposed to be.  “Seba,” you whimpered, not sure what you were pleading with him for but hoping it would get through to him anyways.

He just smiled wider, letting his teeth nip the delicate skin just beneath your hips.  You yelped a bit before biting down on your lip to keep quiet; you knew that if someone walked in now, you wouldn’t be able to say that he’d forced himself on you… not when you were lying back and letting him do this to you.  

Just when you thought his mouth couldn’t get any closer to the part of you that was suddenly throbbing of its own accord, he pulled back and pushed up your dress even more, growling at the sight of you spread wide for him.  “What a gorgeous pussy, darling.”  It didn’t seem like a sign of approval though, when he brought his hand down against it with a harsh smack, forcing you to cry out and throw your head back.  It hurt, at first, but then it felt so oddly good and you couldn’t explain why.  When he did it again, the pain and the pleasure were even more intense than the last time, making your legs quiver a bit.  “Oh, you like that,” he realized proudly.  “You’re getting so wet already.”

He hit you again, and again, until you were sobbing and begging for him to stop— not just because he was hurting you, but because you knew if he didn’t stop, you would reach your peak and that could not happen under any circumstances.  You couldn’t like this.  If you came, he would be able to tell so easily; he was literally staring right between your legs, there was nowhere to hide from him.

“Fuck, I can’t wait any longer,” he groaned, “I need to get a taste of you.”

You, being foolish and innocent in these regards, thought he was going to kiss you again.  In a way, he did; he grabbed your thighs tightly as he leaned down and latched his mouth onto your aching, swollen sex, moaning loudly as he explored you with his tongue.  Your eyes shot wide open, your hands reaching down to push him away only to falter halfway through and dig into his hair instead.  Between his lips, his tongue, and his teeth, it was like you couldn’t keep track of all the ways he was touching you.  Each moan from him vibrated right through you, until you were moaning even louder.  It was shameful, and your heart ached to know you were betraying Walter like this, but you were lost completely in the throes of pleasure that Sebastian was giving you.

Forcing your eyes shut only made the feeling more intense as your hands tightened into fists, gathering the satin-y through beneath you in your clammy palms.  But opening your eyes and looking back at him wasn’t much help either, with the way he was staring back at you so intensely.  You’d never seen his eyes so dark before, not in all the years you’d known him, and it made your skin crawl.

He stopped briefly to catch his breath, his prideful smile glistening with your arousal; it was awfully lewd, and you hated how attractive he looked all disheveled and hungry like this.

“You really ought to be spoiled,” he decided, his voice deeper and rougher around the edges.  “It’s a waste if nobody’s making you come like this every day, getting a taste of this sweet little cunt.”

That word made you wince, and you realized you were more offended by what he was saying than what he was doing, oddly enough.

He got back to it with more vigor than before, pushing his tongue into you as you bit down on your lip to keep from screaming.  How could something so wrong feel so thoroughly right, so perfect?  You hated him just as much as you loved him in that moment, and you wanted him to stop just as much as you wanted him to keep going.  The tricky thing was that you didn’t get to decide if you loved or hated him, or he stopped or continued.  Your body and mind were his playthings, pliable to whatever he wanted to take from you.

Apparently, he wanted to take more from you; when he had pushed you to your peak against your wishes, and done so much more easily than you would’ve liked to admit, he sat back and tossed away his jacket, freeing him to shirk his suspenders and unbutton his trousers.

“N-no, Seba, you can’t—” you whimpered mindlessly, attempting to crawl back away from him on the bed.

“You’ll let me devour you until you come, but don’t want me to get mine, too?” he grinned.  “Greedy little girl.”

He grabbed you and pulled you back down into him, gripping the neckline of your dress and tearing it down the front in a few quick rips.  You fought back but it was laughably useless, your strength nothing against his.  

“I hate when you wear things like this— things he bought you,” he explained with a snarl.  “These pearls, too, he got you these, right?”

There wasn’t even time to answer before he grabbed the string and snapped it, sending the pearls flying everywhere and rolling across the floor.  You felt more naked without them than you did without the dress.  Still, you felt especially naked when he pressed his hips forward and his length slid through your folds.  “No,” you sighed, “no— stop, it’s not funny anymore.”

“Funny?” he grimaced.  You yelped when he grabbed your jaw tightly, forcing you to look back up at him with wide, watery eyes.  “I love you.  You hear me?  I love you.”

“I know,” you sighed shakily.

“Say it back,” he demanded.  “Say you love me, too.”

“I can’t,” you shuddered, crying when he released your jaw to slap you harshly across the face.

“I’m sorry that I had to do that,” he sighed.  “I don’t think it’s right for a man to strike a woman, even if it’s with an open hand, but you need to get some sense into you.  I know you love me, darling.  You just need to say it.”

That false impression of mercy faded quickly when you only responded with silence.

“Say it!” he yelled, dripping with rage.

“I love you!” you finally cried, and he made swift work of reaching down to push his cock right up against your entrance, driving forward with brutal force.  Your back arched and your head fell back, your hands gripping at his half-buttoned shirt— some kind of silent plea that he slow down a bit, perhaps.  It didn’t seem to work, each thrust deeper and faster than the last already.  The only sounds now were his quickening breaths right beside your ear, his skin slapping against yours, and your weak little cries that you choked out each time he pushed himself all the way into you.

It stung and burned inside you, just like your eyes stung with fresh tears and your chest burned with some incomprehensible storm of emotions.  You wouldn’t call anything about this a relief, and yet there was something cathartic about it as well.

“He’s not gonna want you once he knows what I’ve done to you,” he whispered in your ear, tickling your leg as he pulled it to wrap around his waist.  “Once he knows I’ve taken your innocence, made you mine.”

You whimpered as sobs made your chest convulse, but said nothing; you knew he was right.

“He’s not gonna want you once I’ve knocked you up.  Nobody will… but me.”

You started to struggle underneath him, pushing at his shoulders helplessly.  “No, you can’t— you have to stop.”

“You’ll make such a beautiful bride, darling, especially if you’re already showing,” he grinned, bringing his hand to rest just below your bellybutton— just over your womb.  “I’ve dreamed all my life that you’d carry my child,” he admitted wistfully.

Crying did more to egg him on than anything, it seemed, as you barely managed to speak enough to plead with him not to finish inside you.  Maybe you were naïve, but not so much that you didn't know how easily you could become pregnant if he didn't pull out, or how quickly your engagement would be broken off and your reputation ruined if that happened.

He ignored your denial and moved faster, running his hands all over your body with a few brief detours to grope your breasts and pinch the hardened nipples.  

As his lips attached to your neck, you felt his teeth sink into your skin as he sucked just by your pulse.  “Don’t,” you whimpered, “you’ll leave a mark.”

“Good,” he mumbled, breaking away from his work at your neck to teasingly nibble on your ear.  “It’s no trouble to me if everyone knows what I’ve done to you.  I want them to know.  Don’t you think they saw us come into my room?  Maybe if you moan loud enough they’ll get to hear you coming for me.”

It should’ve made you try even harder to stay quiet— and it did, it just didn’t work at all, and soon your moans were echoing around the room as he smiled down at you.  “Close again, already?  You’re so sweet for me,” he praised, somehow angling his hips just right to hit the most sensitive places inside you, your walls rippling and convulsing around him.

“You have t-to stop,” you breathed, holding the waves of pleasure back with everything you had.

“I can’t,” he groaned, “you feel too good.  It’s okay, darling, just let go…”

He continued with a string of whispered praises, but you couldn’t hear it anymore as your body began to erupt in jolts of pleasure, your arms and legs shaking uncontrollably where they were wrapped around his neck and hips, respectively.

“Keep going,” he encouraged gently, “you sound so beautiful when you come, darling.”

But the sensation threatened to consume you, burned you from the inside out until you couldn’t take anymore.  It was overwhelming to the point that you lost all control over your words, needing this to end more than you needed to preserve any dignity you had left.  “Please,” you sighed, “please come, Sebastian…”

He laughed a bit, kissing your ear again.  “Sweet girl, I knew you’d come around.  Want it inside, darling?”

You shook your head, he laughed again.

“Yes you do,” he sing-songed condescendingly, “you want to have my baby, don’t you?  Wanna leave that awful man and be with me, like you should?”

He must’ve known there was only one way to get you to agree to that.

“Remember, darling,” he whispered, “it won’t end until you say yes.”

“Yes,” you choked out, “I want to be with you, Seba, I want your baby— just please come and get off of me.”

He grinned and fucked you faster, the slapping of skin so loud now that surely anyone in the hall would hear it.  His own moans were quiet but desperate, breathless as he started to pump and flex inside you, his warmth coating your insides as he groaned your name weakly.  He laid on top of you, motionless, for quite some time until finally sitting up and pulling out; unfortunately, you were too weak to do much with that freedom, just laying there and staring up at the ceiling as numbness chilled your extremities and fogged your mind.

“You just stay here and catch your breath,” he instructed gently as he gave you one last kiss before sitting up, readjusting his trousers and suspenders before finding his jacket on the floor to put back on.  He circled the bed to look out his window into the gardens, seeming much too relaxed and satisfied with himself.   

“W-Walter,” you remembered suddenly.  “He’ll be looking for me.”

“Hm, doesn’t seem like it,” Sebastian frowned, “I can see him now, having quite the conversation with a fine young woman.”

“What?” you shivered, sitting up to look at him as he stared down into the yard.

“I’m looking right at him, darling.  I figured you knew about his… reputation…”

You did, but you never really believed it; the papers lied about Sebastian all the time, so surely rumors about your fiancé could be just as unfounded.

“I need to go,” you decided as you jumped up off the bed, trying to cover yourself with your torn dress.

“Sweetheart,” Sebastian cooed sympathetically as he looked back at you, “where are you gonna go dressed like that?  Or, should I say, not dressed like that?  I know my parties can get a little wild, but we try not to have any nudity.”

You hated that he was right; you were trapped here, until you found some way to dress yourself.  And frankly, leaving his room dressed in different clothes than when you came in was nearly as bad as leaving his room naked.

“I’ll get you something to wear, just give me a moment, alright?” he offered, stopping to give you a peck on the forehead before slipping out of the door and back into the party.

He took a deep breath when he shut the door behind him, closing his eyes briefly to stabilize himself before putting on a smile and rejoining his guests.  A lot of people tried to stop him on his way, congratulated him on the party or asking him mundane questions, but he shrugged them all off as he continued his search for Walter Penner.  He found him looking rather lost somewhere by the west wing of the house, a drink in each hand.

“Two at a time, I like your style,” Sebastian boomed as he patted Walter on the back affectionately.  “The drinks, I mean.  I don’t believe everything I read in the papers.”

“Good,” Walter chuckled, “because it isn’t true— about girls or drinks.  The second glass is for my lovely fiancée— you haven’t seen her, have you?”

“Oh, I believe I have,” Sebastian put on a face like he was thinking about where he’d last seen her.  “She was just leaving.”

“Leaving?!” Walter pshawed.

“Yes, she said she’d forgotten something she had to do and scurried out the door.  I tried to stop her, but you know how she is when she gets her mind on something.”

“Hm,” Walter frowned.  “I suppose I’m meant to go looking for her.”

“Take a coat, it’s cold out there,” Sebastian offered.  “And if you see her, do tell her I give her my best.”

“Always,” Walter nodded, setting his drinks down and merging back into the crowd as he navigated out of the party.  Sebastian hummed a little tune to himself as he made his way back to his room; he could hardly wait to see you again already, tell you all about how your unfaithful betrothed had run off with one of his more promiscuous friends, but he had to be careful not to run too fast on his bad leg.  He figured you wouldn’t believe it, truly, but you’d give in to the story anyways if it was reason enough to justify your affair with him.  You had a talent for accepting whatever reality served your purposes best, and he was happy to give you whatever you wanted.  He figured you’d want an extravagant wedding, too; that would be easy enough.  

Ascending the stairs and resting his hand on the knob to open his door, he braced himself to see you there and finally know you were his— and only his, forever.  All he’d ever wanted, just on the other side of a door.  If a poor boy can become a millionaire in spite of everything, and he can finally get his girl in spite of a pesky engagement, then maybe anything’s possible. It was you that had told him since he was a boy that dreams were just dreams and couldn’t come true; such a fool you were, a beautiful little fool— the best thing a girl can be, and now that you were his girl, he intended to cherish your foolishness rather than attempt to educate you. Because truthfully, you were a smart girl, and only a fool for him.