#I showed them tallulah before deciding to do this which is why that one is so obviously biased lmao

[q-nihachu]

asking my friend who doesn't watch qsmp for their thoughts on the eggs!

and that's a wrap, thank you for joining us! And a special thank-you to @lemontarto for indulging me and @a-lonely-tatertot, the other person in the screenshots!

[i-hug-exploder-shanks]

14 for O14 please!! I wanna see what reason you could come up with for them running out of an alley at breakneck speed XD

I kept giggling at all the possibilities but finally settled on one more serious based off the recent lore tabs. There's still a missing moment for when they actually start the relationship.

14. Running breakneck speed from an alley

From ask game here, feel free to send in more requests!

Saint's footfalls thundered against the brick and asphalt as he and Osiris tore their way through the back alleyways in the city.

Shouting followed after their fleeing forms and Osiris let out an adrenaline filled laugh he would deny forever when Saint decided the warlock wasn't running fast enough and scooped him into his arms. The titan let a touch of arc energy spark through his legs so they covered even more ground faster soon losing their pursuers.

Once he was certain it was safe, Saint set him back on his feet and stepped back to lean against a wall breathing heavily despite his body not actually requiring the air.

"That was- You- I can't believe-" Osiris started to pace the space in the alley they had ended up in. Saint removed his helmet and slid to sit on the ground with it beside him.

"Did I render the great Osiris speechless? If I had known all it would take was yelling at a group of punks I would have done so sooner," He mocked lightly enjoying the way the comments would always leave Osiris puffing up like a threatened bird. It was cute.

Surprisingly Osiris didn't get defensive this time. "No one has ever stood up for me like that before. Felwinter supported me but expected me to fight my own battles- which I can do- but... It was kind of you to say those things Saint. I know we don't typically get along," He muttered pausing his own pacing in the process.

"I said them because they are true. You are a very talented warlock and you care deeply for others even if you do not like it being pointed out. You are passionate about what you believe and it is admirable." Saint said simply.

"Yes but... You've never said such things before. Most of the time you're yelling at me for disagreeing with your father." Osiris pointed out folding his legs to sit beside Saint.

"We do not meet often outside of the Consensus. You should come on patrol with me sometime, we can feed the birds together." Saint offered and watched as Osiris' face twisted.

"Is my company really so distasteful to you?" He asked and the look immediately faded.

"It's not that. I think I owe Tallulah glimmer or a drink or something now. Are you asking me on a date? Or is this a friendly work patrol to feed birds together? Just to clarify," Osiris asked and Saint blinked at him.

"I did not think you would wish to go on a date with me. If you are willing then I can do better than just birds! Plus, you are like bird already, the way you puff your feathers when you are upset is cute." He said delighting in the blush he could just pick up coating Osiris' cheeks in the dim light.

"Is that why you challenge everything I say? Because you think I'm cute when I'm frustrated? You've been... You've been pulling my pigtails?" He huffed and Saint ducked his head a bit embarrassed.

"You did not show interest when I was giving you gifts but I could not help myself. You are so... Passionate and devoted. It is stunning to see. But I do not lie. I meant the points I argued." He admitted surprised when Osiris was suddenly straddling his lap.

"You are infuriating! How can you be so- you?! I want to- Can I-" he growled lowly clearly struggling as he cupped Saint's face in both hands.

Saint gave the slightest nod as his body tensed with hope, the purple of his eyes brightening as Osiris leaned in to kiss him and the sensation of butterflies filled his stomach while his hands settled on Osiris' hips.

Osiris didn't pull away after the kiss though, letting his forehead rest against Saint's. "I definitely owe Tallulah glimmer. But yes, I will go on a date with you. To feed the birds or whatever other chivalric thing you do in your free time." He huffed making Saint laugh.

"I promise I will not disappoint you in that like I do in the Consensus. I owe Tallulah glimmer too. She told me I was being ridiculous in not just asking you out and that you were more interested than I thought." He admitted and Osiris rolled his eyes.

"Leave it to the hunter to play both sides. We should get out of this filthy alley... Would you like a cup of tea?" He offered reluctantly pulling himself off Saint's lap so they could go.

Saint stood and picked up his helmet, tucking it under an arm while offering Osiris his hand to hold while they walked together hopefully. "I would like that."

Osiris met his gaze and took the hand offered shyly and they stepped out of the shadows of the alley into the setting sunlight together.

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - eleven

just one more

Warnings: none just fluff

It's you,

because no one else makes sense

Pauls PoV

Paul had dropped Tallulah just before midnight, waiting until she had made it safely into her home before heading off towards Sam’s, which wasn’t too far from the Forresters. He cut through the well-known woods as a shortcut before coming out into the same clearing Sam and he had found Tallulah and her friends just one week prior. Where he had found Tallulah and that Chase kid all wrapped up in one another, now mixed with the boy he had found her with tonight, sent waves of anger through Paul's body. Not necessarily from jealousy, more so to do with his imprints lack of care of who she chooses as company. Paul knows he's not much better than the boys she calls her friends, he was them when he was in high school. Before he had shifted at least.

He had known trying to figure her out wouldn’t be easy, especially with the rumors that had been spread like wildfire amongst the tribe before she had even stepped foot onto the reservation. When Rachel had pointed her out at the bonfire her first night, the night everything had changed for him, he couldn’t help but notice how different she seemed. He knew that she had grown up in the city, but even just the air around her, the way she didn’t care that everyone's eyes were focused on her, was so refreshing in comparison to most of the younger girls on the res. Surely, he should’ve known just from that thought she would be special to him, considering who he had shown up to the bonfire with was no longer a thought in his mind, but only when they had made eye contact was it solidified.

Her.

His other half.

And just like that everything had changed. He had wanted to say hello, introduce himself and if it wasn’t for the immediate connection, he would have, but he could feel her resentment. To what he was unsure of, but it was enough to send a ripple of anger through him, and with Rachel's reaction to Tallulah, it was enough to send him over the edge completely, causing him to leave the bonfire early and his imprint.

His first interaction with her had not gone to plan either. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but the fiery girl he had met that day excited him, he wanted to know more of her, and still does. Even though she had spent the week helping Paul at the bookstore, and more and more of her personality had come out besides just the exterior front she had put up with him, he wanted to know more about her. What her life was like back in Seattle, what her interests are, besides causing what seems to be an infinite amount of trouble for herself. Her favorite book, and movie. Everything.

Walking down the dirt road up to the familiar wooden cottage, Paul could see his truck sitting off to the side meaning Embry had beaten him back, hopefully he had filled them in too, he thought to himself, wanting nothing more than to just go on his patrol shift and then head to bed.

Walking through the door he was met with Sam and Emily sitting at their dining room table, he could hear that Embry was in the kitchen, no doubt looking for something to eat. They had stopped their conversation as soon as Paul had entered, Sam was now looking at him with a stern look, whereas Emilys was more concerned, “She’s fine.” he reassured Emily, and himself.

Emily had quickly spoken to Tallulah after Paul had unintentionally shifted, something that was so rare for him to do nowadays. Emily was the one who was able to pull out any information from Tal, which he was grateful for, but from the look on Sams, he was not so happy,

“You should have gone to Joseph,” Sam started, causing Paul to scoff, “That's what he’s asked of us, Paul. I let you get away with keeping her night in the clearing from him, but this, this was something he should’ve dealt with himself. Tallulah is his daughter, and if you’re always there to bail her out of the problems she creates for herself, then you’re undermining the limits he’s set with her.” Sam spoke with authority, like Paul was back in school having been sent to the principal's office.

He wanted to roll his eyes, instead he just said, “His daughter? His daughter that he knows nothing about. His daughter that he completely abandoned when she was a child. His daughter, that he doesn’t want to be truly happy because if he did he wouldn’t have come to me and asked for me to ignore the imprint. I’m not sorry that I didn’t go to him, because that was the last thing she needed tonight.” With each sentence he got angrier and angrier, causing Sam to stand up from his spot at the table.

Even the thought of the day Joseph had called a meeting with himself and Sam could cause him to shift on the spot. Being told from the day he first shifted that finding your imprint was a gift, and then being told to stay away from her once he had found her left him in a state of permanent anger. The worst part was that he actually listened and did what he was told despite seeing the repercussions it was having on her.

“Whatever you may think of him, Paul, does not mean you get to overrule what he says. None of this would have happened tonight if she had listened to her father.” Sam reasoned, and before Paul could defend his actions yet again, Emily stepped in,

“I think what Sam is trying to say is that Tallulah needs that family structure. Joseph wants to give her that, and because you imprinted on her so suddenly, he just wants to make sure she still gets it before you tell her everything. That's why he wanted you to fight back from the pull, and obviously that didn’t work out quite like anyone expected. But you protecting her from any consequence that she needs to face is only going to re-solidify for her that she doesn’t need that family structure in her life. Which could cause problems for both of you, once she finds out she’s linked to you for the rest of her life.” Emily explained gently.

Paul ran his hands over his face in exhaustion. He knew she was right, that Sam was too. But he didn’t want to hurt her, their friendship was fragile already and telling her dad about her whereabouts would only fracture it even more. “I’m going to tell her everything. Whether Joseph wants me to or not, she deserves to know. Hell, she deserves to know why he abandoned her and her mom, too.”

Tallulah’s POV:

The next morning Tallulah woke up in a state of sorrow, wanting nothing more than to just be left alone by everyone. Deciding that the only way she was going to truly find seclusion was to go for a hike by herself. It wasn’t the safest option she had come up with but it definitely was the most fool-proof.

She stood at the entrance of a path leading into the woods, pulling her jacket tighter around body as the wind picked up. The only thing she had bothered to bring with her was a small backpack carrying a water bottle. She had left her phone on the kitchen counter next to a note that had said she had gone on a hike, so that her dad and Kira knew she didn’t have it. She didn’t want to see or be contacted by anyone, and she meant it wholeheartedly. Walking into the forest following the worn, dirt path through the what seemed to be never ending trees, the smell of the earthy air mixed with the leftover rain smell from earlier in the morning was intoxicating. She loved it. It was something she craved in Seattle, which was a never ending smell of car fumes and other awful aromas. It was something she grew to love, but she never felt at peace there. She felt as if there was a piece of her missing in Seattle, and being back in La Push had seemingly filled that feeling, though she would never admit it outloud to anyone, ever.

Tallulah felt free in the woods as she continued down the overused path, following all the twists and turns, up all the little hills. The crisp air burned her lungs as she struggled to keep her breathing laboured. She was never one for exercise and it was really starting to show but she continued anyway. The wind seemingly picked up the higher she got from the ground, the leaves of the trees around her bristling with it. This was the most at peace she had felt since arriving in LaPush. No one was around to tell her what to do or how to act, just herself and her thoughts. It was nice for a change.

She arrived at a little clearing just in front of a cliff and decided to take a small break, leaning up against one of the many trees around her. She could hear the waves of the ocean from her spot, but was too nervous to get closer to the edge of the cliff.

A branch breaking nearby caused Tallulah to swivel quickly in the direction she thought it came from, the feeling of being watched by something giving her an uneasy feeling, she forced herself to continue in the direction she had been headed. She was too far into her hike to turn back now, she thought to herself. Walking up another steep area, she held onto a tree to keep her steady as she climbed the rough terrain. The bark of the old tree felt rough on her palm. As she got herself past the steep area, Tallulah surveyed what the next bit of path looked like as she continued slowly, the feeling of being watched had grown severely. The rustle of the trees and bushes around signalling that there must be an animal nearby, probably just a bunny, she thought to herself.

Taking her backpack off her back, she knelt down to unzip it, the ground keeping it up right. Grabbing the water bottle she had packed before zipping it back up. Taking a sip as she stood up, a howl ripped through the air from the area she had just been in, too close for comfort causing Tallulah to grab her bag off the ground and begin to speed walk further up the path, looking behind her to make sure the wolf wasn’t behind her. When she turned back around, Paul was walking towards her. An unreadable expression on his face. He was shirtless, in his usual cargo shorts and running shoes despite the fact that the wind felt more like knives.

“What is wrong with you? Do you know how many people are looking for you right now?” he asked, the concern was evident in his tone.

“I left a note.” she stated bluntly. It's not like she just ran away.

“And your phone!” he exclaimed.

“I wanted to be alone.” she tried to justify but Paul was having none of it.

“You can’t just come out here alone, Tal. It’s dangerous.” he stressed, “You could’ve gotten hurt and nobody would have known.” That's a fair point, she thought to herself.

“I’m not alone.” she said as she walked past him, continuing on the path, “You’re here.”

They continued forward, Paul following a few steps behind, before she stopped at another lookout. Tallulah was exhausted but too stubborn to admit, especially to Paul. There were a few picnic benches in the clearing of the lookout that she had walked over to, sitting on top with her feet on the bench, taking a sip of her water before handing it to Paul.

“How’d you find me?” she asked curiously as he took a swig of her bottle and placed it on top of the table before sitting next to her.

“Only so many trails near your house. Guess I got lucky choosing the one I did” he spoke softly. Tallulah nodded her head, looking him over. He looked so tired and she felt a bit guilty considering the events of the night before. Noticing the circular tattoo on his shoulder, two wolves howling, she couldn’t help but trace it lightly with her finger, amazed at the intricacy of. It really puts all of her little sticks and pokes to shame.

“When did you get this?” she asked quietly, shifting her eyes from the tattoo to his face.

He cleared his throat before saying, “When I was sixteen. It’s kind of a long story.” he trailed off.

She nodded her head and smiled before saying, “It’s nice.”

“You’ve got some pretty interesting ones too,” he teased, “I particularly like the little ghost you’ve got.”

Tallulah laughed, “I thought I did a pretty good job.” she said, shoving the sleeve of her jacket up her arm to look at the little ghost on her forearm that she had done when she was 15 on Halloween.

“You apply to any colleges yet” Paul asked curiously to which Tallulah nodded her head.

“Yeah, I did back in Seattle but I’m not going to get into any of them so..” she trailed off, shoving her sleeve back down her arm, hiding her hands inside her sleeve. He was looking at her, and she couldn't tell if he was confused or concerned by her statement. “I was in the arts stream at my old school. All my applications needed an extensive portfolio that I’m never going to get to finish so they're basically already rejections.” She explained, although she didn’t know if she was upset about the fact that she didn’t have all of the qualifications for the schools she had chosen. She didn’t even know if she had wanted to go to college.

“Do you regret not going to college?” she asked him, turning her body so she was facing him.

“No,” Paul shook his head, “I didn’t really have plans to go. Couldn’t you finish your portfolio here?”

“No, I don’t have any of the equipment and it's all too expensive. Besides, I don’t want to waste my time and money just to be told no.”

He nodded his head in understanding, “You’ve still got lots of time to figure out what you want to do next.” he placed his warm hand on her knee and gave it a comforting squeeze causing her cheeks to flush more than what the cold had already caused. Whether the cold was making her mind delirious and the warmth radiating off Paul's body was too inviting, she couldn’t stop herself from leaning over and pressing her cold lips to his warm ones. It was soft and gentle but also sent shockwaves through her body.

Realizing what she had just done, Tallulah pulled away quickly, eyes wide and wild, “I shouldn’t have.. Oh my..I’m sorry, you have -” she rambled before being cut off by Paul pressing his lips back to hers. His large hand came to rest on her cheek, her eyes fluttered closed. She kissed him back with the same need that he had. It felt like one timeless and passionate moment that she would never be able to relive again and she reveled in it.

Tallulah brought her hand up to the back of his neck, tangling her fingers into his overgrown hair. It was all so sensual and smooth, nothing like any of the boys she had ever kissed before. Nothing like Xander. She felt guilty for thinking about him while her lips were connected to Pauls but it brought her back down to reality, she pulled away from him keeping her eyes cast to the ground. She separated herself from him and stood up from the picnic table, “We shouldn’t have done that.” she said quickly.

“Tal,” Paul reached for her but she shook her head, “You have a girlfriend! And I-” she stopped herself taking a deep breath, looking up at him not knowing what to say.

Paul chuckled, “I don’t have a girlfriend. But hey” he raised his hands up in defense, “It was a momentary lapse of judgement on your part but I’m not going to apologize. I wanted to kiss you, so I did.” he stated.

“Fine , you don’t have a girlfriend and I kissed you first but it’s never going to happen again.” she tried to state firmly, knowing damn well she wanted nothing more to walk up and kiss him again.

“Fine.” he agreed, standing up and in front of her. She sighed exasperatedly, standing on her tippy toes, both hands clasping his cheeks, “Just one more.”

Taglist: @cperry0516 , @bhasbhabiessss, @fuzzyfingersandcavier @haventdecidedyet

[princeindisguise]

The Heirs of Auradon: Chapter 2

It took Nefaria a moment to realize that the young man was prince Beau. Everything about him was sleek and shining – his hair, his clothes, his skin. He was dressed in a golden cloak and had a crown on his head. He was wholesome, handsome, smiling with empty eyes. Nothing like the shy, hunched young beast she had met four years ago.

He looked a lot more foreign to her like this.

This story is inspired partly by Disney’s Descendants movies, but most of the names, ideas, clever details, and so on comes from Droo216 and his incredible Descendants AU.

Here’s the second chapter. (And here’s the prologue and the first chapter!)

Chapter 2

That spoiled, self-righteous little prince, Nefaria thought. I should have taken his stupid rose petals.

Her horns and her senses were sharp, and she was ready to go to Auradon. Silently in her head she had been plotting constantly, ever since she first heard that they were going. She had watched the people of Auradon for years. They weren’t hard to grasp. She wasn’t as worried as Vladimir – they loved to forgive in Auradon. They loved feeling noble and merciful. Tricking the inhabitants wouldn’t be a problem.

But tricking Beau would. He was the only one there who had met her before. Nefaria had been too young to understand she couldn’t show her real self to him. And now he knew too much about her.

Nefaria felt more at ease when she thought about what her mother had said.

There’s always another plan: Do as much damage as you possibly can.

Of course, her mother was right. That was one of the first things Nefaria learned about the world. Building is the hard part. Destruction always finds a way.

At first, her mother had just told Nefaria, Rizal, Angelika, and Vladimir they were going to school in Auradon. It wasn’t until Nefaria had read the letter herself that she was informed about a “possible summit”, where ambassadors from all ten kingdoms would come together and negotiate the future of the Isle of the Lost. If the summit came to be, Nefaria, Rizal, Vladimir, and Angelika should be ready to play the part of the ambassadors from the isle. Until the summit potentially started, and if it did, while the negotiations were going on, they were supposed to study at the finest school in Rosencourt. There, they would educate themselves on topics of their choice, to be able to put their thoughts into words during the summit, bring forth their own arguments. That’s what the letter said.

Nefaria saw why her mother hadn’t mentioned it – it wasn’t important. It was nothing but empty words. Obviously, heirs from all the kingdoms of Auradon wouldn’t drop everything to come together just to make the lives of the inhabitants of the isle better. They didn’t care. They would come up with some excuse not to have one, and eventually, they would send Nefaria and her friends back to the isle. If they didn’t take matter into their own hands, that was…

If the Auradons wanted peace, they could forget it. In this story, the villains would win. They would take what they wanted, and they would take it the only way they could – not by following the rules, but by breaking them.

But her mother’s plan had seemed underwhelming to Nefaria. Nefaria had always been convinced their parents had a plan. That they had plotted for the last twenty years about how to get out of the Isle of the Lost, so that when the opportunity finally came, they would be ready. Maleficent, Jafar, Grimhilde, and Cruella had private meetings at least once a month. They had to have talked about escaping. A lot.

Maybe they’d never thought about an opportunity as good as this one.

When Nefaria thought about herself and her three closest friends, she realized something. Maybe their parents wanted to test them. Why would they give them more specific instructions? Why would they think they needed them? Nefaria had been able to transform into a dragon since the age of seven – for ten years – and she had flown over to Auradon regularly ever since. Angelika was a magical prodigy. Vladimir was almost as accomplished in making business as his mother, even though he was only seventeen. Rizal was brave, or foolish, enough to do just about anything.

They all had their strengths, and they were powerful. There were ways. They just had to be sly.

Especially if the Auradons were so stupid, they let them come there regardless of the risks.

She stopped herself. It wasn’t “the Auradons” who had decided that she and her friends came there.

It was Beau.

She had thought about their meeting many times, but somehow, she had never really thought about the last things he had said to her.

“When can we meet again?”

Impossible.

He couldn’t possibly be risking the safety of his entire kingdom just to be able to see her again.

Could he?

Of course he could.

Realizing this made her angry. She had always wanted herself and her friends out of the Isle of the Lost, but not like this. Not with his help.

  A brown carriage was carrying Nefaria, Angelika, Rizal, and Vladimir to Auradon. The journey went underwater, the walls strengthened with magic, the carriage pulled by brook horses, and steered by a coachwoman with gills. Angelika, Rizal, and Vladimir had never seen anything but the isle before, and Nefaria had never been under water. None of them could stop looking at the windows. Everything seemed tinted a greenish blue – the sunlight reached all the way to the sea floor – and the seaweed moved slowly, as if from a gentle breeze. They even saw some merfolk, who stopped to look at them and even giving them a smile, waving, unaware of who they were.

All of it reminded Nefaria of Tallulah. The two of them had used to say they fit so well together, complemented each other; fire and water, merfolk and fairy. Under the sea, up in the air – none of them were bound to stay on the ground. Or inside the barrier, for that matter. They could both get through it whenever they wanted.

It had been over a year since they’d last seen each other. Nefaria wondered where Tallulah could be. Probably out on the ocean somewhere, with a ship of her own. If Nefaria knew Tallulah well – and she knew she did – Tallulah wasn’t sailing around without direction. When Tallulah had told Nefaria she wanted them to leave the isle together, she’d had a plan. A plan for where she was going and why. She just never told Nefaria about it.

When Nefaria said she couldn’t come with, Tallulah had given her one last kiss, and left on her own.

The carriage went up a slope, that led them out of the water and onto the docks of Auradon. They hardly had time to look around before being guided into another carriage. To her three friends, Nefaria thought, the steps from the first carriage to the second one could have been nothing but a jumble of light and colors that they didn’t have time to take in.

The last carriage had been brown and plain, but the next one was made of gold and covered in ornaments. It was pulled by regular horses, white and unnaturally clean, and the coachman was human. Thick curtains covered the windows.

They were on land now, officially in Auradon. If they spoke low, they could be completely sure the coachman wouldn’t hear them.

”Now,” Nefaria said, lowering her voice, leaning forwards, closer to the others, “we plot.”

“No, we don’t,” Vladimir hissed, looking around the wagon, his eyes saying: We don’t know who might be listening.

“No one can hear us,” Nefaria whispered tiredly. “We’re in Auradon now. No magic is allowed here, as you might remember. If there had been any sort of magic near us, I would have felt it.”

Vladimir rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say,” he said, leaning back against the cushions, blatantly ironic. “You’re in charge.”

Nefaria ignored him.

“This is our one chance to prove ourselves to our parents,” she said, turning to Rizal and Angelika. “Why do you think they gave us such vague instructions? We’re not little children anymore. We’re almost adults. We should be able to come up with something on our own.”

“So what is your big plan?” Vladimir said, and Nefaria looked at him again.

“To begin with,” she said, “we’re going to use that limp of yours.”

First, Vladimir looked like he was about to get angry. With controlled irritation, Angelika said:

“So that’s why you didn’t want me to heal that really nasty wound your mother gave him?”

Nefaria nodded. Vladimir nodded, too, snickering.

“I thought you were just in bad mood,” he said.

Nefaria frowned. “I’m not in a bad mood.”

“Yes, you are,” Rizal said. “You have been ever since you heard we were going here.”

“I have not. I’ve just been thinking a lot.” She didn’t like this, this sudden, intense need to defend herself.

So she changed the subject.

“The point is, they’ll like the vulnerability,” she said. “They’ll underestimate you, Vladimir. They won’t realize your best weapon is your brain.”

Vladimir’s facial expression softened a little.

“That does seem kind of reasonable, I guess,” he said.

“And the rest of us?” Rizal asked.

“We will use Angelika’s intelligence, and your bravery. Angelika will do extraordinarily well in school and make them think it’s thanks to them.” She turned from Angelika to Rizal. “We’ll find a scenario where Rizal can show his skills, maybe rescue one of the Auradons from some kind of dangerous situation.”

“What if we don’t find such a scenario?” Angelika asked.

“We’ll create one,” Nefaria replied, grinning. She hoped they wouldn’t find one. The second option was a lot more fun.

Vladimir scoffed. “And you? What will you contribute with?”

Hearing Vladimir saying that made her feel threatened in a way she wasn’t used to. On the isle, she was obviously the most powerful of the four, because she held the strongest magic in her. In Auradon, magic wasn’t allowed. Everyone who practiced magic must register and they were watched strictly. Her biggest strength – which she sometimes thought of as her sole strength – could only be used with extreme caution, if at all. She wondered if that thought had crossed Vladimir’s mind, or Angelika’s or Rizal’s, for that matter. Anger rose within her.

“I’m the one making the plans, as usual,” Nefaria said. “Since none of you seem to have one, as usual.”

As she spoke, she raised her hands and released her hair from the strict hairdo. Angelika looked at her in disbelief, unfolding her arms and gaping slightly.

“Why on earth did you do that? We spent two hours on your hair!”

“I know I’ve just wasted several hours of my life in order to look presentable to this pathetic boy king and his little royal friends,” Nefaria said. “But it doesn’t have to be that obvious.”

“Are you insane?” Angelika was almost yelling. Then she remembered the coachman and lowered her voice. “We are meant to play a part, remember? We’re supposed to trick them. We have to look the part. We have to look like we’re grateful to be here. Like we want to be here.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not a very good actor,” Nefaria replied, throwing her head forwards and back again, setting her hair completely free.

“And don’t fling your horns around like that, unless you want to take someone’s eye out!” Rizal said, trying to sound angry.

“I’m hoping on it,” Nefaria replied, sounding so solemn, Rizal couldn’t help but laugh.

Letting out a groan, Angelika gave up. “You’re both hopeless.”

“At least we don’t take ourselves too seriously,” Rizal said. “You should try it sometime. You might like it.”

“Maybe I will, but this is not the right time.” Angelika looked out the window, signaling that the conversation was over. For a moment, she looked like she could cry from frustration. The look on Vladimir’s face told them he agreed with her.

Nefaria almost felt bad, and she was worried, too. She could tell Angelika noticed she was acting strangely. They had all noticed.

You’ve been in a bad mood ever since you heard we were going here.

For some reason she hadn’t thought they knew her that well.

  When they stepped out of the darkness of the carriage, they were met with so much light and color, they could have stumbled backwards. Nefaria had never been to Auradon during midday before, and the other three had never been there at all.

Right in front of them was the Beast’s castle. Around them were crowds of people, countless faces staring at them. A crier presented them as they smiled uncomfortably. The only one who seemed to enjoy the spotlight was Vladimir, which came as no surprise to Nefaria.

Then, they started walking towards the gates of the castle.

“All the colors are so bright,” Vladimir whispered, making an effort to hardly move his lips at all. He was trying to sound irritated, but there was something resembling excitement in his voice as well. Leaning towards Rizal, squinting, subtly opening his coat wider, he continued: “They’re going to damage our eyesight.”

Rizal laughed discreetly. “Just as well. At least we won’t have to see all of this garbage.”

But she could tell they were fascinated. She was, too. Fascinated and equally disgusted. Angelika laid her fingers on Vladimir’s arm and whispered:

“It’s so warm, but without being sultry. It’s strange, isn’t it?”

Vladimir nodded, eyes forward, towards the gates at the end of the royal blue carpet, laid out in front of them like a trail to a new world.

None of the people facing them could hide their fear nor their interest. Nefaria was dressed in a long, white dress – her mother’s suggestion – and though she felt uncomfortable wearing anything that wasn’t black, she liked the feeling of being in disguise. Angelika’s dress was blue, flowing around her like water when she walked. It contrasted to Rizal’s red cloak, embroidered with patterns in yellow and orange, dancing in the wind like fire. Under his coat, golden for the occasion, Vladimir was wearing a dusty pink gala suit from the tenth kingdom. Nefaria had convinced Vladimir not to wear fur, and Rizal to shave his mustache, as she wanted them to look as different from their parents as possible. In a way, letting her hair down had been a wise decision. Maleficent never used to show hers.

The gates were opened in front of them and they stepped inside.

In the grand hall, they were met with the sight of two thrones, and two women and one young man standing in front of them. The women were the two most powerful people in Auradon –  Belle, the High Queen of Auradon, and the Fairy Godmother, the Arbiter of Justice.

It took Nefaria a moment to realize that the young man was prince Beau. Everything about him was sleek and shining – his hair, his clothes, his skin. He was dressed in a golden cloak and had a crown on his head. He was wholesome, handsome, smiling with empty eyes. Nothing like the shy, hunched young beast she had met four years ago.

He looked a lot more foreign to her like this.

She curtsied deeply, and raising up again, she said:

“Your highness. We are not worthy of the generosity that you’ve shown us. Without your honor and kind heart, we would still be on the isle with those… loathsome miscreants.”

Only her friends could spot the irony in her voice, and only she could make out the amusement on their faces when their smiles widened.

Beau smiled, too, and after welcoming them, he said:

“We are the ones who should thank you, for agreeing to this opportunity to negotiate the future of Auradon and the Isle of the Lost. We know how much talent, intelligence, and ambition the inhabitants of the isle possesses, and we hope that this will be the beginning of a process of sending even more of them over.”

Now that she was close to him, she could see his eyes. They were still the same. Realizing that soothed her. Big, dark blue eyes. Up close, his look didn’t seem empty anymore. It felt like he saw her. Then, she noticed his hands. They were trembling. She smirked. Maybe he hadn’t changed as much a she’d thought.

She realized what he had said. Could it be true? Could he actually be planning on letting more people out of the isle? She looked around. Everyone from the court, everyone who seemed to have power in Rosencourt or be close to the royal family, seemed to be gathered around them. Could he really be saying something like that so publicly if it was just empty words?

“It is my greatest pleasure to introduce four young ambassadors from the Isle of the Lost.” He took a step forward and presented them all, Nefaria first, then Rizal, then Vladimir, then Angelika. As he did, he made them sound like royalty.

  Afterwards, they found themselves at a welcoming ball. They had all known about it, but it still felt overwhelming, at least to Nefaria.

After watching the people around her for a while, she realized she had seen a lot of them before, on her flights over to Auradon. Knowing that she had the advantage of knowing them, even if it was just for a little, made her feel smug. Things were going well. Vladimir walking around, his limp just visible enough to gain attention, greeting everyone he met with the same graceful courtesy and responding to comments like “Oh, you poor thing! What happened to your leg?” with heroic answers like: “Don’t worry, it’s just a scratch.” Rizal subtly flirting with basically every person the same age as him at the ball, making one of them after the other laugh at his jokes. Angelika, wanting to take in every inch of the room, probably analyzing everything she set her eyes on, but never leaving Nefaria’s side.

Nefaria looked across the room, where Beau was talking to princess Lilith. The breathtakingly confident, well-educated, immensely wealthy, perfect daughter of Queen Aurora and King Philip. Ever since Nefaria first saw her, jealousy had been boiling in her stomach. Now, as she saw her talking and laughing with Beau, the jealousy boiled over to hate. Princess Lilith’s arrival had been more excessive and pretentious than Nefaria could have ever imagined. It had been a parade of horses, knights, servants carrying squirrels, rabbits, songbirds, and owls in gilded cages, a huge carriage lead by four black unicorns, and even more than that, that Nefaria didn’t even have the energy to remember.

In a way, it made her glad. Beau couldn’t possibly be impressed by someone who presented themselves like that. Or could he? He seemed to be having a good time with Lilith, at least from afar.

Nefaria had good reasons to have a chat with Lilith. Why not walk up to them and interrupt their little conversation?

Before she could take a step, Angelika had grabbed her arm.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Nefaria pulled her arm loose.

“Look at me,” Angelika said. Reluctantly, Nefaria did as she asked.

“Now is not the right time,” Angelika whispered. “I could tell how upset you were when you saw her. It’s understandable. You two will have your little talk about your parents and the past, but not right now. Right now, we need to be polite and charming and not take any risks.”

“I should at least get to introduce myself,” Nefaria growled.

Just as she said that, Lilith turned and looked straight at her. Then, she and Beau walked up to her and Angelika.

“Remember, stay calm,” Angelika whispered. “Please.”

Lilith was as tall as Nefaria, and so beautiful it would have frightened her, had she been someone who was frightened easily. There was something eerie, almost supernatural about Lilith’s beauty.

”Nefaria, Angelika,” Beau said. “I would like you to meet Crown Princess Lilith of Fairedge.” The princess curtsied, looking at Nefaria with a stare that was so intense, Nefaria for a moment almost was frightened. The look in Lilith’s eyes was the exact look that had drawn Nefaria to Tallulah – and pushed her away from her. A dangerous confidence, a beauty to be feared.

Lilith’s smirk widened. Ignoring Angelika, she stared Nefaria down, saying: “It Is truly lovely to finally meet you in person. Beau just told me the most wonderful things about you.”

Forcing a smile, Nefaria said: “Really? I’m delighted to hear that.”

“I think we will have lot to talk about,” Lilith said.

“I think we will,” Nefaria replied.

Nefaria thought she was handling the situation well, but suddenly, she noticed how Beau was looking at her. There wasn’t just suspicion in his eyes – it was like he knew exactly was she was thinking, could actually feel how much hate that was filling her.

Even though not even Lilith seemed to have caught up on it.

That must have been why Beau was so quick to lead Nefaria and Angelika away from Lilith, saying he wanted to introduce them to two of his closest friends.

“They’re the only ones except for Lilith and yourselves who are already here for the summit,” he said. “The others will arrive shortly.”

“You mean, the summit will actually happen?” Angelika couldn’t help but ask.

“Why, yes, of course,” Beau replied. Leaning closer to them, he whispered: “The only one really hard to get here was Lilith, and, as you can see, she is definitely here now.”

They were introduced to a young man and woman with long, brown hair and smiles like sunlight. Their hair was the exact same length, and their facial features were so similar, they had to be twins. The woman had her eyes closed and were being led around the ballroom by her brother.

“Viola and Sebastian, I would like you to meet Nefaria and Angelika, two of the ambassadors from the Isle of the Lost. Nefaria, Angelika – Viola and Sebastian of Corona.”

Talking to Viola and Sebastian seemed to melt away at least some of the cold feelings Lilith had made Nefaria feel. Both Viola and Sebastian had such a calmness and softness about them, and Nefaria quickly forgot Viola couldn’t see. Because she hadn’t felt so noticed in a long time. Viola seemed to understand her and Angelika, in a way that only someone who actively questions their own prejudices can. Nefaria felt like she could have talked to Viola and her brother for hours.

  After the ball and the following dinner, Nefaria, Angelika, Rizal, and Vladimir were led to their rooms. The room Nefaria and Angelika shared was pink and white all over, the bedsheets, canopies and tablecloths all decorated with lace.

Finally, they were alone. Finally, Nefaria could tell Angelika the one thing she had wanted to say for several hours.

“This won’t work. I can’t play a part – prince Beau will know if I do.”

Frustration and surprise were beaming out of Angelika. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I could just tell from the way he looked at me.”

Angelika folded her arms. “There is something you’re not telling me.”

Almost losing composure, Nefaria wondered what to say. She hadn’t expected Angelika to figure that out, at least not so quickly.

“No, it’s not,” Nefaria said. “Why would you think that?”

“You’re hiding something.”

“No.”

”What are you hiding?”

Nefaria sighed. Usually, Angelika wasn’t very stubborn. When she was, there was no use trying to argue with her.

”I’ve…” After a short hesitation, she continued. “I have met the prince before. Once. It was four years ago. He got to know me a little, I guess. We talked for a while.”

“Talked? About what? Why?”

“He told me he’d give me the petals of the enchanted rose if I talked to him, so I did. He saw me when I flew here to take them.”

Angelika snorted. “Why didn’t you take them, then?”

Nefaria had wondered that herself for a long time. Without understanding why, she hadn’t wanted him to think she had talked to him all night because she wanted the petals.

“I had to escape quickly,” Nefaria lied. “We heard someone coming. There was no time.”

Angelika thought about it for a moment before speaking again.

”I don’t see how this can be anything but a good thing, though,” she said. “If anyone can gain his trust, it’s you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

“Of course I do. Did you see Vladimir limping, those faces of pain he made? He’s playing his part perfectly. Now we just need to let people see the wound and let them know my mother did it to him. Not only will they pity us, but they’ll be convinced we’re not on her side. As for Rizal – he is strong, he is brave –“

“You mean dumb?”

“I mean that it’s the same thing to these people. I’ve seen what the girls in Auradon act like. They think being a damsel in distress is the best way to find someone to fall in love with, and that’s what they all want, to fall in love. Rizal could win over one or more of the powerful young women around here easily. We will make sure he gets the chance to rescue a girl, which won’t be that hard, consider the girls around here seem to try to get themselves in trouble.”

Angelika squinted with her left eye. She always did that when she wasn’t buying something someone told her.

“That seems a bit like… simplifying things,” she said.

“No, it’s not,” Nefaria said. “Trust me.”

“The Auradons shouldn’t underestimate us,” Angelika said. “But we shouldn’t underestimate them, either.”

“I’m the one who has actually been here before!”

“And I’m the more intelligent one,” Angelika replied, smiling sweetly.

It annoyed Nefaria that Angelika wouldn’t listen to her. She wasn’t going to show it, though – it wasn’t the right approach.

“And what will I do, if doing well in school isn’t enough?” Angelika asked.

“You’ll come up with something,” Nefaria said. “You’re the best witch on the isle, and thereby in the entirety of the nine kingdoms.”

“You know flattery doesn’t work on me, Nefaria. Especially when you tell me things I already know.” Angelika folded her arms. “I still think you have to use your relationship with the prince. I’m beginning to think you’re the reason he brought us here in the first place.”

Nefaria shrugged and shook her head. That wasn’t something she wanted to talk about, not right now. Instead of answering, she looked past Angelika’s face, out the window. On the horizon, she saw a ship, and she thought about Tallulah again.

She missed her.

Someone knocked on the door. Nefaria turned her eyes to Angelika, who was smiling victoriously.

“It’s the prince,” she said. “I guarantee it.”

Nefaria shook her head. “No, it’s not. It’s probably Vladimir or Rizal. It’s not him.”

Angelika opened the door, and she was, as usual, completely unsurprised to discover she had been right.

It was Beau.

“Good evening, ladies,” he said. As he spoke, he turned from Angelika, to Nefaria. “If you allow it, Angelika, I would like a walk with Nefaria. Alone.”

[mrsrcbinscn]

Really Should Have Listened

@dian-morey​

Summary: Franny wakes up after surgery and her doctor explains what happened...and whose fault it was

Date: April 10th, 2021

FRANNY:

 The last thing Franny remembered before going into surgery was that someone was very angry but not at her. She thought for a moment that maybe that was Cornelius, but Lucille had said he was just boarding a plane from Berlin and he’d be a couple hours. Closer inspection told her that the angry guy was a doctor, South Asian or Middle Eastern by his appearance, and the fact it looked like her doctor was upset was alarming to her on multiple levels.

 She didn’t have much time to worry though.

 Before she could ask that everything be explained to her, she was told she was going to be taken in for immediate surgery, and that the situation was life threatening. Well. Not even Franny would argue when those words were whipped out.

 She woke up from surgery with her mind still cloudy, high off her ass on pain, but at least she probably wasn’t dead so that was the upside, right?

 Shortly after she woke up, a doctor entered the room. She didn’t even try to sit up to greet him properly, she didn’t have the strength.

 DIAN: 

 Dian was seething. This wasn’t the first time a doctor had completely ignored a patient’s concerns and nearly killed them. Nor was it the first time it had happened with this specific doctor…

 This was why he pursued another specialty in OBGYN. The way some doctors brush off their patient’s pain and concerns drove him insane. Especially when those patients were women whose needs were ignored because of their gender. Dian let Brennan have it. Right before he scrubbed in, in the middle of the hall… It was unprofessional, but so was letting your patient nearly die because you’re too arrogant to listen to them. 

 Dian strode into the recovery room for a routine check and saw that she was awake. Franny Robinson. He’d operated on a celebrity. He wasn’t so starstruck when she was under, but she was looking at him now. Shit.

 “Hi,” he gave a little wave with his free hand, “hi, Franny. I’m Doctor Morey, I’m just checking in on you after the surgery. How you feeling?” After a brief moment of eye contact, he started fiddling with the monitors and tubing. 

 FRANNY:

 Franny’s brain just barely registered what he was saying. Dr…Corey? No, it was an M, he said M-orey, Morey. She turned her head to look at him and gave her best, wobbly, post-surgery smile. This was embarrassing...she hated being seen in a less than stellar light, and post-surgery counted. Especially when her doctor was so handsome...perhaps she should set him up with Tallulah.

 As he clutched the clipboard, Franny noted she didn’t see a ring.

 “I’m all right, I think anyway.” She said. “Um...Dr. Morey, what happened?”

 She almost asked if her husband was here yet, but unless she was under for more than four hours, he was probably still on his way from the Bristol airport. Just their luck. Franny urges him to break his six months paternity leave for one day only to fly to Berlin for an afternoon thing, and this happens.

 DIAN:

 He supposed no one had time to tell her what had happened. Well, time to pull up a chair. He turned to pull a stool from the corner over to her bedside to give his spiel. 

 “So, it’s called a retained placenta. You’re a smart woman, I’m sure you can work out what it is.” She should have been made aware of her risk for it since she was basically the poster child for the demographic it usually affects. Which was the main reason Dian was clutching his clipboard as tightly as he was now. He sighed and gave her a serious look. 

 “It can be found during delivery, and you should have been checked for it. However, sometimes the symptoms don’t show up until weeks after delivery,” he paused a moment. Should he say what is on his mind or bite his tongue for the sake of a colleague and the hospital? Surely, there’s a lawsuit here. Fuck it. “I will say, though, Franny; I think you weren’t given the care you needed. I think your pain was overlooked and it was a very easy catch to make if your doctor had paid attention. This could have been fatal and I am sorry that you had to go through this.” 

 FRANNY:

 “Um...so, what, you mean part of the placenta didn’t deliver itself? And it made me sick? So I wasn’t crazy this whole time?” Franny asked, not really needing confirmation so much as a lack of pushback to make her understand.

 She wasn’t crazy. Her pain had been real, her bleeding hadn’t been her hormones going wack postpartum, she had been actively dying since she gave birth to her daughter last month.

 Cornelius will be furious when he hears this, Franny thought. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen that man angry in her twenty-one years of being with him and they all were results of physical or emotional harm having come to her or Wilbur. She almost felt sorry for Dr. Brennan.

 “...So. You’re saying the hospital trip was avoidable. Am I correct?”

 DIAN:

 “Yes.”

 That was exactly what he was saying. No woman should have to bleed out to get the medical care she needs. It was an unfortunate situation, but he was glad she was here now. What more could he do for her? Wish her well? Say ‘okay, have a nice recovery, my job is done’? He couldn’t, this mother almost just died. While it wasn’t his fault, Dian felt a responsibility. 

 “If you want to pursue legal action… I will fully support you. I don’t think Dr. Brennan did the best he could for you and he hasn’t been doing this for any of his patients for some time.”

 FRANNY:

 “Legal…” To be honest, Franny hadn’t been thinking about a lawsuit but that was also because she just woke up from surgery. When Dr. Morey brought it up however, she immediately wanted to suggest it to her husband.

 Her husband who, she imagined, was probably only about an hour or less away from home now. Unless her surgery had been a crazy twelve hours long which she doubted. 

 “I will be discussing that with my husband, no doubt. Thank you for your help, Dr. Morey. And your support, should my husband and I decide Dr. Brennan negligence deserves a reckoning.”

 And it did, it certainly did.

 DIAN:

 He gave a curt nod. That was all he could do. He had done way more than he intended to do; just check in. Dian might have just royally screwed up but supporting a patient in need was more important than falling in line. Doctors had malpractice insurance for a reason, but Dian secretly hoped the Robinsons sued him for all he’s worth and then some. 

 “Right. I- uh, I’ll leave you to rest now. This is a lot to process. Your cousins are waiting to see you. I’ll tell them you’re awake.” 

 He slid the stool back to its place and straightened his lab coat before he strode out of the room. That probably could have gone better.

[mercurysnitch]

You Make My Dreams Come True (One Magnificent Year)

Summary: The year Joe and Reader got married turned out to be a very big one for their family.

A/N: It’s finally here! The “bonus chapter” is finally done, and it only took three and a half months 😆 (life got in the way for a while there, it wasn’t supposed to take quite this long). I am so so pleased to finally be sharing it with you (I hope it lives up to all the anticipation). Now that you can see how long this is you’ll understand why I thought including these events would have dragged out the main story too much 🤣. For reference, this starts soon after the climax of part 6 (Reader and Joe getting engaged) and goes on from there.

Some disclaimers: I should have mentioned in Part 6 that I’ve never been to the USA so all parts in New York are based on what I’ve picked up from watching many many movies and TV shows set there. Sorry if anything’s horribly inaccurate, I tried to be at least somewhat realistic. This story features an overseas wedding being planned in only three months, which seemed feasible to me, but I’ve never planned a wedding so I might have been a bit optimistic there. I’ve never been pregnant or had children so all of that stuff is based on research. I think it’s mostly realistic, but some of it might not be completely accurate for twins/preemies, so sorry in advance. Also I think I might have outed myself as an old school music fan with some of the songs mentioned in here.

Because this is the story of a single year, it’s broken into months with little timeskips between sections. The months are all different lengths, so hopefully it’s not too choppy. I feel like it rambles a bit towards the end, but I think overall it works.

As always, please forgive any typos I may have missed.

Italics indicate reader’s inner thoughts.

Warnings: pregnancy, vomiting, children, babies, non-graphic birth, premature birth, some angst, allusions to sex, mild illness

Word count: 20.6k (grab a cup of tea and settle in, it’s a long one)

*******************************************************************************************

New Year's Eve in New York City. Just like last year, and yet at the same time, so very different. This year, Joe’s traditional New Year’s Eve party was going to be a celebration of so much more. Lucy and Rami insisted on coming to celebrate your engagement as much as the new year. Joe had of course sent an announcement to the ‘band’ group chat almost the moment you got home, and you’d spent the next three days in a whirlwind of calls, texts and video chats. Joe wanted to post something on Instagram almost immediately, but you persuaded him to hold off until you could tell his extended family in person at Christmas. He was annoyed until he saw their reactions to your announcement. Needless to say, it went down very well.

And then he finally made his Instagram post on Boxing Day, which lifted his mood enormously. He chose a sweet selfie he’d taken of the two of you hugging Tallulah, whose face was hidden, with the hand bearing your ring held close to the camera. He captioned it ‘Well we had a great Christmas celebrating this… Two weeks ago she said yes. Still can’t believe I get these two for the rest of my life now.’ The reaction was practically immediate and overwhelmingly positive. Even Brian left a comment: ‘Congratulations to a lovely couple! Wishing you endless happiness. Bri.’ You couldn’t help smiling at all the positivity. “They’re all so happy for us, Joe” you commented. He was confused. “Well, yeah, it’s happy news, right?” “It is,” you agreed, “but I thought people might be put off by the whole stepkid thing.” “Most people actually think it’s really sweet” Joe assured you.

All in all, you were a very happy family when New Year’s Eve rolled around. Joe’s various friends were keen to celebrate with you, Tallulah was eagerly counting down the last few days before Roger’s arrival, and you felt a general sense that all was right with the world. Ben’s unexpected arrival at the party was a nice treat too. Even Tallulah was pleased to see one of her favourite people in the world. Sitting with Joe after your midnight kiss, you felt incredibly content. “This year’s going to be a good one, isn’t it?” You mused. “Definitely” Joe agreed, kissing you gently. “It’s going to be great.”

January

You weren’t expecting to get into wedding planning after being engaged for less than three weeks, but Joe was keen to set a date as soon as possible. “I’m an actor, I need to know when I’m not going to be available” he explained one night, when you questioned his urgency to make plans. There was just one decision you needed to make before making any firm plans: would you have the wedding in New York or back home in the UK? You fretted for nearly a week after Joe first raised the question, not wanting to inconvenience any of your potential guests. "Babe, wherever we have the wedding someone's going to have to travel to get to it" Joe reminded you, after you told him about your severe indecision on the matter. "We might as well just pick the location we want, and leave it to the guests to decide if it’s too far for them." You considered this for a moment. "I suppose you're right" you agreed finally. "I usually am" Joe quipped. "Seriously though, where do you actually want to do it?" "I think… I'd rather get married in Britain" you replied, hesitantly. Joe smiled. "Britain it is then."

He paused. "Actually I was kinda hoping you'd say that, I'd love for Roger and Brian to be there." "Why?" you asked, surprised. "Well, we wouldn't be here without them. Especially Roger" Joe explained. "Don't you think it'd be a little strange for Roger to be there?" you questioned. "He is sort of my ex, you know." "He's also the one who introduced us" Joe pointed out. "Still a bit weird, but I suppose you're right" you conceded. Why is my life so bloody weird? It'd be nice for Roger to be there, spend some time with Loolah, see my family… oh God. You must have groaned out loud, because Joe suddenly looked concerned. "You ok babe?" he asked. "Yeah, I just realised that if Roger comes to our wedding he'll have to meet my parents" you explained. "Is… is that a problem?" Joe was confused. "Well, considering my father is under the impression he got me pregnant and then basically abandoned me to raise the child alone for five years, let's just say Roger's not exactly my dad's favourite person" you clarified. "I'm sure they'll be fine" Joe reassured you, "Roger's, like, ridiculously charming and friendly when he wants to be." "I know" you replied gently. "So, you still want to get married in England?" Joe asked jokingly. You smiled. "Yes." "Well then," he replied, smiling contentedly, "looks like we've got a location, so let's set a date."

Setting a date, however, proved to be easier said than done. You quickly realised that getting married in England would be an excellent excuse for a holiday, so you decided to make it a two-week trip, with the wedding in the middle followed by a week's honeymoon, during which Tallulah could spend some time with her dad. This meant you needed to find a convenient time of year for you and Joe to have a holiday, that would also be ok for Roger. And then you'd need a venue that was available at the right time.

Finding a venue in England, while more or less stuck in New York was something of a challenge. Google was of course immensely helpful, but it soon became clear you would need someone on the ground there too. You were wondering who to ask when you realised most of your bridal party still lived in the UK. Destiny was your maid of honour, and she was more than happy to help. "Anything you need, lovie, just give me a call" she assured you. You soon found yourself asking her to look at a venue for you, an old stately home in a country village barely an hour outside London.

The house looked beautiful on the website, and best of all, you, Joe, Tallulah and some of your guests would be able to stay there ahead of the ceremony. Destiny went to look at it as soon as she could find the time, and her report was very positive. “It’s gorgeous” she gushed to you down the phone. “You’d love it. The grounds are lovely too, I think Loolah’d have fun exploring them.” When Joe saw the photos Destiny sent you he agreed it looked practically perfect for your wedding. All that was left was to find a date the venue would be available.

You had a stroke of luck on the date front a few days after you and Joe put yourselves on the waiting list for a booking. A sudden cancellation had left the stately home with a week free in April, just after Easter. The timing couldn’t be better. “Work’ll be quiet, it’ll be a good time for me to have off” you explained to Joe. “And it’d overlap with Loolah’s school holidays too.” Joe was thoughtful for a moment. “I think I’m pretty free in April, actually” he said eventually. “So you wanna take the booking?” “Yeah, let’s do it” he enthused. A couple of days and several emails later the venue. “We’re getting married in April” you marvelled to Joe, after receiving the final confirmation. “Yeah” he replied contentedly. “Three months to plan a whole wedding. Are we nuts?” You really hoped not.

February

February brought cold season to your little family. First Tallulah came home with a sore throat and a fever which kept her away from school for three days, during which time Joe was luckily free to stay home with her. Then you caught her cold, though you managed to escape the worst of it, developing nothing worse than a sniffle. Finally, a week later you woke to find Joe pale and feverish beside you. He didn't wake until you were getting dressed for work. "Darling, are you alright?" you asked him, concerned. "No," he groaned. "My head hurts, my throat is killing me and I've got chills, I think." "Sounds like you've caught our cold then" you commented. "Can you stay home with me babe? Please?" Joe begged. You smiled sadly. "You know I can't, dear. Besides, you have a cold, you're not dying. You’re a grownup, you can survive eight hours on your own." "But baaabe!" he protested. "You sound like Loolah, you know” you grumbled, smiling fondly at Joe despite your exasperation. "But I'll come home as early as I can." "Thanks babe" he mumbled, peering blearily up at you from his spot under the covers. You returned to your morning routine, and Joe was asleep again within minutes.

Joe stayed home for a week. He never got any worse than Tallulah had, but sometimes it seemed that way because he was such a drama queen when he was sick. After two nights of listening to him sniff and cough miserably next to you, you banished yourself to the couch in the hope of finally getting some sleep. It barely worked, and you made sure to tell Joe the next day. "That couch is terrible! If only we had an extra bedroom…" "What, don't you like my apartment?" he grumped. "No, I do, Joe," you reassured him, "it's just… it feels so small sometimes. Like we're all on top of each other all the time, you know?" Joe looked thoughtful. "I actually saw a really nice house for sale the other day. Not too big, little bit of yard at the back… don't know if we can afford it though" he told you. "Well, it can't hurt to take a look" you grinned. Joe smiled back. "Let's go then."

The house turned out to be a nice little townhouse, with four bedrooms, but surprisingly right in your price range. Best of all, it was still on the market, but not for long. One very tense week later it was yours. There was just one small catch. "So, we close on the house in a month" Joe told you, following a phonecall from the real estate agent. "Which means we can't move in until April." "We're getting married in April though, we're going to be super busy and then away for a fortnight" you pointed out. "Yeah, the timing's not the best, is it?" Joe laughed. "I suppose we could move the week before we go…" you suggested. "Yeah, we- oh no, wait, we can't, I'm going to Vegas for my bachelor party that week" Joe told you. "And that means we can't move because…?" you asked. "I'm not leaving you to deal with moving by yourself" Joe replied stoutly. You looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "As much as I want to go all 'independent woman' on you, I actually think you're right. I'll have enough to do that week as it is." "So we'll move after the wedding?" Joe suggested. "Yeah. As soon as we can." Gee, we’re doing a lot this year.

March

Most of your free time in March was taken up with planning of one sort or another. When you weren’t sorting out last minute wedding details, you were busy attempting to organise the move into your new house. On top of finding a removal company you were planning to have some of your stored furniture shipped from England to fill the extra space. But you weren’t convinced it would be enough. “Why did we buy a four-bedroom house?” you questioned Joe, after yet another attempt to work out what you would still need once your things arrived. “We only needed two, and now we’ve got so many rooms and not enough furniture…” “Well I thought we might want to fill those extra bedrooms soon…” Joe said suggestively. “What do you mean, Joe?” you asked, confused. “I mean,” Joe sighed, exasperated at your obliviousness, “I hoped we could try to grow our family?” You thought you knew what he was getting at now, but you wanted to check. “D’you mean… try to have a baby?” “Yes” Joe replied, smiling. His face fell slightly at the sight of your expression. “Do you not want to? Cause we don’t have to, I just thought…hoped-” “Of course I want to have a baby with you Joe,” you reassured him, “just… can we maybe wait til after the wedding? We’ve got enough going on right now as it is.” Joe nodded in agreement. “You know, the honeymoon is after the wedding…” he pointed out suggestively. “It is.” “So, extra fun honeymoon then?” Joe suggested. “Sounds like a plan” you agreed. At that Joe kissed you much more lustily than you were expecting. Should be a very enjoyable honeymoon if he’s going to be like that.  

As the weeks rolled by your focus increasingly shifted to the various parts of the wedding you and Joe still needed to plan. Of course, one of the most important components, at least to you and Joe, turned out to be the first dance. The first challenge was agreeing on the music. You both thought a Queen song seemed appropriate, but which one? "Love Of My Life?" Joe suggested. You looked at him incredulously. "What, it's a classic!" he insisted. "You do realise it's not actually a love song, right?" you asked. He was confused. "What?" "'Love of my life, don't leave me'?" you quoted. "It's a break-up song, Joe. I'm not doing the first dance to a break-up song!" Joe threw his hands up in surrender. "Ok, fine. Do you have any ideas?" You thought about it for a moment. "Um… Queen love songs. They didn't actually write all that many, did they?" Joe looked thoughtful. "Not straightforward happy ones, no" he agreed.

Suddenly his face was alight with inspiration. "We could do it to '39!" he suggested. "I know we both like that song." You were hesitant. "Um, I do like that song, but…" "But what?" He asked indignantly. "That song… it's kind of about me and Roger. Partly at least." you told him. "I just think it would be weird to have that for our first dance." Joe was very confused. "I thought Brian wrote '39?" "He did" you confirmed. "Roger told him about… us… once when they were both drunk, and Brian thinks that might have inspired the chorus. And the whole 'year of 39' bit." Your fiance looked at you blankly. "Roger and I were living 39 years apart at that point" you explained. "Oh." Joe sighed. "I guess that song would be kind of weird then" he conceded. “Actually, maybe a Queen song for the first dance was a bad idea” he pondered.  “Yeah” you agreed. “Maybe we should just stick with one of the classics.” “The classics?” Joe questioned. “Yeah, you know, Frank Sinatra or At Last or something.” “Or ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’?” Joe suggested. “Slow dance and fast bits, we could have some fun with it.” “That’s perfect!” You agreed. So much for Queen for the first dance.

April

The arrival of April Fool’s Day signalled your wedding day was almost upon you. Everything important was booked or ordered, which meant you were now faced with sorting out all the little things you’d put off organising initially, knowing they could be dealt with at the last minute. Number one on the list was sorting out who would be looking after Tallulah when she wasn’t fulfilling her flower girl duties. “Isn’t Roger looking after her after the ceremony’s over?” Joe asked, when you tried to explain your dilemma. “He’s going to be at the reception, Joe” you pointed out. “Along with basically my whole family. And I can’t ask Destiny because she’s maid of honour, and Carla’s her date, so she’ll be there too.” Suddenly Joe understood. “Well I guess she could just come to the reception. Roger could keep an eye on her there. And your parents.” “I suppose…” you sighed. “Actually, Lucy and the other bridesmaids could probably look after her during the day, until Roger can take over at the reception. But then we’re going away at the end, and what if she wants to leave early?” “So what if she does? Roger can take her to his room, right?” Joe reassured you. “You’re right,” you agreed, “he’s her dad, he can deal with it.”

Your other major concern was the potential for the combination of your very ordinary family and several famous people to end very badly. “They were fine meeting me, they’ll be fine at the wedding too” Joe tried to reassure you. “You’re just one person though,” you pointed out, “they’re going to have several people to embarrass themselves in front of this time.” Joe was still unconcerned. “I’m sure they won’t be that bad, babe” “You don’t know my Auntie Marie… ah shit” you trailed off, hit with a sudden realisation. “What about her?” “She’s a mad Eastenders fan, has been for years. Got my cousins into it too, and Steph… Peter Beale was always her favourite” you explained. “I think she might still have a bit of a celebrity crush on Ben.” Joe nearly laughed. “You know he won’t be that bothered” he reassured you. “Even if she spends the whole day practically hanging off him?” “Not if she’s cute” Joe quipped. He rapidly backpedalled at the sight of your expression. “She won’t be able to stick to him all day, he’ll be busy being best man for some of it.” “Thank god for that” you quipped. In the end Joe managed to reassure you Ben was perfectly capable of handling himself around overexcited fans. Even so, you still resolved to ask your mum to remind a few of your relatives to behave themselves before the wedding.

You felt as though you’d hardly blinked before Tallulah’s Easter holidays had arrived, and the three of you were on a plane to London. The plan was to spend a few days there catching up with friends and sorting out the final last-minute details before heading to the wedding venue on Thursday. You had a big dinner party for all your wedding guests planned for Friday night, ahead of the main event on Saturday. On Sunday you were off to Italy with Joe to unwind for a few days before you had to go home. Tallulah was going to spend that time with Roger, and she was very excited.

You tried to get some sleep on the plane, but it was difficult to relax with so many last-minute worries buzzing through your mind. You kept dozing off only to wake up in a panic about something. “The bridesmaids! What if their dresses look bad with mine?” “Babe, it’ll be fine. Lucy picked them, and she’s an expert” Joe soothed drowsily. Lucy had become one of your closest friends since you’d started seeing Joe. She’d adopted you more or less instantly, along with the rest of the Bo Rhap crew, and been your guide in the strange new world in which you’d found yourself as an actor’s girlfriend. But she was also an extremely supportive friend while you wrestled with the realities of a long-distance relationship. She empathised deeply with your struggles, being in a very similar situation with Rami, and had all sorts of advice on how to deal with them. She continued to sympathise as you adjusted to life in a new city, having had similar experiences when moving around for different projects. 

Including Lucy in your bridal party was therefore a no-brainer in your view. Her experience with fashion had proved very useful when you’d enlisted her to help you select bridesmaids’ dresses. The only small issue was that you had never seen the dresses in person, as your entire bridal party lived in the UK. As well as Lucy, and of course Destiny, there was your sister Eliza and Annabelle, an old uni friend who was one of the few people who’d actually stuck around after Tallulah was born. Quite a lot of your friends had made all the right noises while you were pregnant, only to disappear when confronted with the reality of your new situation. In any case, you were now very much looking forward to seeing all your bridesmaids again.

Despite your restlessness the flight passed quickly enough, and before you knew it you were settling into your temporary holiday flat in central London. Your parents insisted on coming to meet you as soon as possible, having not seen you in months, so most of the afternoon was spent lounging around the flat and catching up with them. Your sister had been keeping your mum in the loop about the wedding preparations, so she was full of useful last-minute advice and reassurance. “I’ve seen your sister’s dress, I’m sure all the bridesmaids will look wonderful” she told you, after you’d voiced to her your concerns about the dresses you hadn’t seen in person. “They’ll work beautifully with your dress too, I’m sure.” You weren’t entirely soothed, but you didn’t have the energy to argue by then.

Your worries were proved unfounded at the final fitting the next day. Lucy’s taste was clearly excellent, and everyone looked absolutely beautiful in their light aquamarine gowns. You spent a very enjoyable day getting fitted and hanging out with your bridesmaids, who got on well despite barely knowing each other. Well, they do all get on with me, they must have something in common. Tallulah had fun too, sitting in the fancy bridal shop with some of her favourite adults, and then getting to wear a very pretty dress. “You look so pretty, lovie!” Lucy gushed, when she finally got to see Tallulah in her flowergirl outfit. “Of course she looks pretty Luce,” you smiled, “you chose the dress.” All in all it was a productive day, and you felt much calmer about your imminent wedding at the end of it. 

The days passed in a whirlwind of lunches, coffee dates, and frantic final preparations. You even squeezed in a surprise hen night with your bridal party. But then, quick as a flash, Thursday had arrived and you found yourself on the road to the stately home where the wedding was being held. Joe had insisted on driving, but he wasn’t coping very well with having to drive on the opposite side of the road. “God, this feels so wrong even though I know it’s not.” “Just concentrate” you urged him. “And I’m driving next time, it’ll be a lot less stressful.” Fortunately you made it to the wedding venue without incident, despite a couple of near-misses.

Thursday night was spent having dinner with the entire bridal party, who had never been together before. They would all be staying in the actual stately home with you and Joe for the duration. Joe had picked Ben as his best man, after much agonising. Rami and Gwilym were of course groomsmen too, alongside Joe’s brother. To your immense relief everyone got on well without much effort, and the evening passed surprisingly quickly. You went to bed with the feeling that the countdown was now on, and you were very excited. 

Most of Friday was spent preparing the venue for the events of the next day, setting up a location in the grpunds for the ceremony and arranging flowers and decorations. The evening, though, was set aside for a relaxed pre-wedding party, to give the guests an opportunity to meet each other and see you and Joe before you were swept up in the wedding tomorrow. The guests themselves arrived in dribs and drabs as the day went on. The bridal party were already there, of course, and their various partners had all arrived by lunchtime. Your parents appeared in the early afternoon, and Joe’s mum followed soon after. The day was full of enjoyable reunions, and the night promised even more. 

The party started in the early evening with light finger food and cocktails. There was no formal sit-down meal, because people were coming from all over and would be arriving at various times throughout the night. You and Joe tried to remain in a central position so you could easily greet people as they arrived. Later in the night there were a couple of quick speeches from Joe and Ben, welcoming everyone to your wedding. After the speeches you and Joe took the opportunity to mingle with some of the late arrivals. Among them was Brian, who swept over to introduce you to Anita, who was just as warm and lovely as he was. "I told her the truth about you. And Tallulah. Hope you don't mind" he told you in an undertone. You smiled reassuringly. "Of course not.” Not long after he trotted off to catch up with the rest of the Bo Rhap contingent, currently hanging out in a quiet corner, your parents came up to you, bringing Tallulah with them. "She was asking for you" your mother explained. At almost the same moment Roger came over with Sarina to say hello. Oh lord, here we go.

"Hello, love! Good to see you back on home soil" Roger greeted you, cheerful as ever. "Hi Roger. Sarina, lovely to see you again." Your mother leaned over while Joe greeted them both. "Wait, how do you know him?" she asked. Before you could reply Roger was looking at you curiously. "Roger, these are my parents" you explained, in response to his unspoken question. "Roger Taylor. How do you do?" He smiled cheerfully as he reached over to shake their hands. Something about his expression seemed to catch your mother’s interest, and you could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. "Hold on, are you-?" "Daddy!" Tallulah cried, rushing over to embrace him. "Hello darling" Roger murmured, bobbing down to hug her back. "'Daddy?'" your father repeated incredulously. "Yes," you confirmed, "this is Tallulah's dad. And his wife Sarina" "Wife?" your father echoed. "Yes" Roger replied, straightening up. "You never said he was married" your father muttered darkly. You tensed up at your father’s tone. “He never told me.” "He was- you were married then?" your father spluttered at Roger, clearly angry. He didn't even need to explain what 'then' meant. "Dear, please, don't make a scene" your mother urged quietly. Roger, surprisingly, was unfazed. I suppose it's easy to ignore accusations when you know they're not actually true. "Yes, I was. And yes, I did some things I'm not proud of back then, but becoming Tallulah's father sure as hell isn't one of them" he declared stoutly. Your father seemed to accept this, but was still unwilling to back down. "Still can't believe you had the nerve to show your face here" he said unpleasantly. Joe had been hanging back, unwilling to get involved, but at this he felt he had to intervene. "If you must know," he explained tensely, "I insisted we invite Roger. Your daughter and I wouldn't be here without him, and besides, he's a friend." Your parents gawped at him but said nothing. "I know it's an unusual situation" Joe pressed on, "but we've all managed to get along despite the circumstances, so the least you can do is respect that. And respect Roger too, he's a good man." Your father was evidently flabbergasted at Joe's outburst, to the point that he was apparently unable to form a response. Your mother seized the opportunity to steer him away from you towards some nearby relatives, having apparently decided the conversation had gone far enough. 

"Was that too much?" Joe whispered when they were safely out of earshot. "No," you reassured him, "he just needs some time to cool off. He'll be okay." You were suddenly acutely aware of Roger looking at you with concern, while chatting with Tallulah. "You alright?" you asked casually. He grinned. "Yeah. 'S not the first time I've had to deal with an angry dad. Been a few years though…" There was a thoughtful pause. "What exactly is his problem, by the way?" Roger asked lightly. "He thought I ruined my life when I got pregnant by someone who didn't stick around" you explained. Roger looked downcast. "Oh. I see" he muttered. "You know, it kills me a bit that you had to raise her alone for so long" he said suddenly, quietly enough that no-one would overhear. "I wasn't alone, Rog" you reassured him. He still looked downcast. “I know, but still…” “It wasn’t your fault you weren’t there, I don’t blame you for it, so stop beating yourself up about it” you told him. “I made my choice expecting I’d never see you again, I knew what I was signing up for.” Roger stared at you curiously. “Well, I thought I did, anyway” you clarified. Roger grinned at that, but it disappeared quickly. “D’you ever wish-” he started to ask, but you cut him off. “Things had been different? Of course. I’m pretty happy with how they’ve turned out, though. Thanks to you.” Roger was confused. “Thanks to me?” “Technically, you introduced me to Joe” you pointed out. He grinned broadly at that.

Suddenly you realised Joe had disappeared. Before you could do anything, though, Ben appeared at your shoulder. "Y/N" he said quietly, making you jump. “Ben! What’s up?” The blond looked uncharacteristically serious. “It’s Joe,” he told you, “he’s… he needs you, I think.” “Well where is he?” You asked, suddenly concerned. “Come with me” Ben murmured, leading you away from the party. He took you down a corridor to a quiet storeroom, away from the noise and movement. “What’s he doing in here?” You asked, whispering urgently. “He’s… upset, I guess” Ben replied. “But he’ll be able to explain it better. Just go in, please.” A worrying thought struck you. “We’re the guests of honour, won’t people notice we’ve both gone?” Ben shrugged. “Even if they do they’ll just think you’re shagging or something.” “Ben!” you chided him, scandalised. “Relax, I’ll cover for you if anyone does notice” he reassured you. “Thanks” you muttered, turning away to face the storeroom properly.

You cautiously pushed the door open. “Joe? Are you alright?” Your soon-to-be husband looked up, startled. His eyes were red-rimmed and full of tears. “How did you-?” “Ben told me” you explained, cutting off his question. “But darling, what’s wrong?” You asked him tenderly, sitting down next to him. “After I saw you with your dad, before, it just… it suddenly hit me, really hard.” “What hit you?” You prompted, wrapping your arms around him. “My dad’s not here. I’m getting married and he won’t be there. He should be here, meeting your parents, defending you to your own father like I did, but he’s not” Joe explained sadly. “And I feel like I should be super happy right now, and I am, but I’m really sad too.” “Oh, darling, you’re allowed to feel however you want” you comforted him. You held him quietly for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me you were upset?” You asked quietly. “It came on really suddenly, like out of nowhere… and you looked so happy back there, I didn’t want to bring you down” Joe admitted. “Joe, darling, I don’t mind. We’re nearly married, that means it’s my job to help you when you feel like this” you reassured him. “Thanks wifey” he said, looking slightly happier. You kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Any time, babe.” You paused, sitting in silence for a while. “Are you ok now, or do you still need a minute?” You eventually asked, sensing your husband-to-be was starting to feel better. Joe looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’ll need a little bit longer, I think.” You sat together in silence for a moment. Suddenly Joe turned his head and kissed you. “I love you so much” he murmured as you broke apart. “Love you too” you replied automatically. “You can go now, if you want” Joe announced. “I’ll be out soon.” But as you reached the door he stopped you. “Actually, can you get Ben to come in here?” He asked calmly. “Ben?” You questioned, surprised. “Just…please?” Joe’s expression spoke such volumes you suddenly didn’t need to know any more. “Of course, dear.” You paused just before you left the room. “I’m sending Ben into a private space with you, should I be worried?” you quipped. Joe laughed at that, and you finally relaxed, knowing for sure he would be ok now. 

The rest of the party rolled on without incident, and you went to bed that night with an odd mixture of contentment and nerves bubbling in your head. The next morning you woke relaxed and refreshed, and most unusually, alone. Joe was rather fond of certain wedding traditions, and had insisted on sharing Ben’s room for the night. You thought it was probably for the best, you’d have to get ready separately anyway. Lucy had suggested Tallulah have a sleepover with her and Rami as well, so you could have a break and she could look after your daughter in the morning while you had a bit of a lie in. 

As you got out of bed and started on your morning routine you were hit with a sudden wave of pre-wedding jitters. What if it rained? What if something went wrong? Were you doing this too soon? You’d only been living together for nine months, after all. Your stressful thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your door. “Y/N? You up?” It was Destiny, fulfilling her first job of the day. “Yeah, come in” you called. She took one look at you and rushed over, enveloping you in her arms. “What’s up love?” “I just… I don’t know” you gulped. “I’m having all these doubts all of a sudden. What if this is too soon?” Destiny smiled reassuringly. “You’ve been together for years, this is hardly a whirlwind romance.” “I know, but-” She turned to look you straight in the face. “You love him, don’t you?” You were bewildered at the question. “Of course I do, but-” “And Joe loves you, right?” Destiny pressed on. “Well, yeah, I think s-” You were interrupted by Lucy entering your room, Tallulah in tow. She immediately sent Tallulah off to the bathroom so she could talk to you alone. “What’s going on?” Lucy asked. “Pre-wedding jitters” Destiny explained. “Anyway, you love Joe and he loves you, doesn’t he?” You were oddly uncertain. “I think s-” “He does” Lucy chimed in. “He adores you, Y/N, everyone can see it.” “You see?” Destiny went on. “You love each other, you want to be with each other, and at the end of the day that’s what really matters here.” You sighed. “I know Dess, I just… this’s all happened so quickly, how do I know we’re not moving too fast?” Lucy stepped forward, and Destiny wordlessly let you go so the younger woman could take over. Lucy put her hands on your shoulders and looked into your eyes. “Y/N,” she began firmly, “Joe loves you, he really does. Everyone can see how you make each other happy.” “I know that, but-” “So what if you’ve moved quickly?” She cut you off. “When you know, you know. Joe knows, even if you don’t.” You were confused. “How do you know that?” “Rami” Lucy said simply. “He’s never seen Joe look at anyone the way he looks at you, and you know as well as I do how long they’ve known each other.” You were taken aback. How could you have doubted what you and Joe had? “I suppose when I think about it this does feel right, even if it is a bit quick” you declared. Lucy smiled. “Of course it is lovie. Now come on, let’s get you married.”

In the end, the ceremony went off without a hitch. You looked beautiful, Joe only got slightly teary when he saw you at the end of the aisle, and all the guests agreed it was lovely. Even the previous night’s tension with your father was forgotten as soon as he saw you in your full regalia for the first time. The expression on Joe’s face when he first caught sight of you was so adoring, and so happy, all your doubts vanished instantly when you saw it. By the end of the ceremony you were fairly sure you were both wearing identical joyful smiles. You really were glad to be marrying him. 

The reception went well too. The first dance, which you and Joe had positively slaved over, was performed flawlessly, and earned rapturous applause from your guests. The speeches were all excellent as well. Ben's was probably the most polished, but then, he was an actor. You wanted to thank him during the dancing afterwards, but he seemed to have vanished. Joe was strangely unconcerned by this. "He's probably just gone for a smoke, wifey.” He seemed to have been gone a long time, but before you could consider this further you were distracted by Rami and Lucy coming to congratulate you, accompanied by Tallulah. Somehow, in the midst of all the hugs Joe disappeared off somewhere. You couldn't work out where until Lucy led you to a chair near the front table, closest to the little stage area where the sound system was, and urged you to sit there with Tallulah. You were surprised to see there were microphones and amps and even a drum set up, even though you hadn't booked a band.

Your confusion lasted only until Joe and Ben stepped up to two of the mikes. "What are they doing?" you muttered to Lucy. "Just watch" she told you, grinning. Suddenly you noticed a familiar lanky figure wandering over to the third mike. Joe, in the middle, cleared his throat. "Uh, hi everyone, if I could have your attention for a minute? Relax, I'm not doing another speech. So you might know we three have a bit of a side interest in music, even though we don’t get to play together very much. So I just wanted to take the opportunity tonight to do something special for the two very special ladies in my life. To the extremely talented musicians in the audience, please bear with us. Everyone else, enjoy." With that, he picked up a bass, Ben picked up a tambourine, and Gwilym, down the other end, sat on a bar stool at his mike, acoustic guitar in hand. Ben counted them in, and suddenly Gwilym started picking out the very familiar chords of '39, with Joe on bass and Ben on bass drum and tambourine. Then Joe began to sing directly to you and Tallulah, and you thought you might cry, though Tallulah immediately started to sing along. Gwilym and Ben harmonised nicely on backing vocals too. When the end of the song brought rapturous applause, your new husband and his friend beamed, while Gwilym just smiled modestly. When things died down, Joe spoke up again. "Ladies and gentlemen, Gwilym Lee!" he introduced. "And on drums, Ben Hardy!" After a brief round of applause he grinned cheekily. "You liked that?" he asked the crowd. "Lucky for you, we have one more. It's a bit of an oldie, but a goodie" he explained. Another count in from Ben led to the intro to "Hello Mary Lou." Joe looked distinctly nervous as he started to sing again, but you beamed at him as he sang straight to you. The song finished, your guests applauded, and with a wink and a "That's all folks!" the musicians left the stage, taking their instruments with them.

Moments later the three of them appeared in front of you. You promptly threw your arms around them all. "That was amazing! You're so talented, all of you." Ben blushed. "Oh, well, I'm no Roger…" he faltered. "We had excellent teachers” Gwilym added, looking slightly uncomfortable at the praise. "You what?" you asked, surprised. "Brian and Roger taught us Hello Mary Lou" Joe explained. “We already knew ’39 from the movie, just had to refresh our memories a bit.” "Well you all did wonderfully" you mused. "Anyway, 'Hello Mary Lou'?" "I know how much you like it, and it seemed… appropriate for us" Joe shrugged. "I suppose. You really love ’39 though, don't you?" you commented. "Well it always reminds me of us a bit, you know, lovers separated, longing to be together again, it's kind of the story of our relationship, y'know?" Joe explained. "It kind of is" you agreed.

Suddenly Brian and Roger descended on the trio of groomsmen to congratulate them on the performance. You took advantage of their celebration’s rapid turn into an in-depth conversation about drumming between Ben and Roger and embraced Brian. "Thank you for teaching them" you murmured. "That was wonderful." He smiled. "You're very welcome" he said warmly. "You know, it was a bit strange watching them all up there. Joe looks so much like Deaky when he plays, it’s almost alarming." “You should tell Joe that” you commented. “Oh, he knows” Brian replied airily. You were glad, but you thought Joe was extremely talented in his own right too. 

The laughter and dancing seemed to go on forever, but soon enough, the festivities were over and you and Joe were retreating to the bridal bedroom. Even though it was your wedding night both of you were too tired to do much more than undress each other and cuddle. “I love you, wifey” Joe murmured, as you dozed off wrapped in each other’s arms. “I love you, hubs” you murmured back. You weren’t sure you’d ever been happier in your life.

You spent the following week in something of a post-wedding haze. You spent several happy days honeymooning in Rome, enjoying spring sunshine and Italian food. You revelled in the feeling of being married, and in being responsible only for yourselves for a change. It was an odd sensation after so many years of single parenthood. But all too soon the honeymoon was over, and you had to go home to New York. Back to work, school and responsibilities. But also to your new future, which was looking brighter than ever.

May

You returned home still floating in a blissful honeymoon fog. Joe could only stay home for a week before he would be needed in LA again, but you made the most of it by moving house two days after you got back from England. Your wedding gifts had been shipped to the new house ahead of you, bringing with them a few pleasant surprises. In addition to the gifts left by your guests there were a number of cards sent by people who hadn't been able to attend the wedding. You and Joe made sure to read them all together, occasionally asking each other who the senders were. However, there was one card that mystified you both.

One afternoon you wandered into the kitchen to find Joe at the table bent over a stack of cards. "Babe, do you know a John and Veronica?" he asked as you passed him on your way to the pantry. "No, why?" you replied casually. "There's a card here from 'John and Veronica' and I don't know who they are so I figured they must be people you know…" "Maybe I do" you mused. “Show me.” Joe passed the card over, and you started to read. “Joe and Y/N”, it said, ‘Congratulations on your wedding. May your marriage bring you a lifetime of happiness.’ It was signed ‘John and Veronica,’ but you didn’t recognise the handwriting. “Weird,” you murmured, "'John and Veronica' sounds sort of familiar somehow…" Joe looked at you thoughtfully. "It sounds kinda familiar to me too" he said wonderingly. Suddenly he gasped. "John Deacon… John Deacon's wife's called Veronica… you don't think?" Joe babbled frantically. "Could be" you replied evenly. "But how would he have known we were getting married?" "Luke" Joe responded instantly. "Luke Deacon DM'ed me after I did the engagement post on Instagram, just to say congrats, y'know." "Nice bloke" you commented. "Very nice" Joe agreed. "He must've told his dad, I guess. But then how did he-" "Know where to send the card?" you completed. "Sent it to Roger and Brian, probably."

A quick phonecall to Roger confirmed your suspicions, and lead to some interesting revelations. "He knows the real story about you and Loolah now" Roger confessed. "He recognised you in the engagement photo. And her. At least, he knew immediately she was mine" he explained. "I suppose he would" you mused. "And he wanted… he wishes Joe well, he really does. He just wants to stay as far away from the business as possible, you know" Roger added. "I get that now, so much" you laughed. Joe, listening in, looked as though he might cry. He understood exactly what Roger meant, and it made him so very glad to hear it.

All too soon, Joe had to go back to work in LA, again. He was gone for three weeks, until mid-May. By the time he came home a hint of summer was starting to creep into the city air. Annoyingly, though, you were unable to make the most of Joe's eventual return. Lately, you had been so tired all you wanted to do was sleep, even on your days off. You'd been feeling like this for a week by the time Joe came home. The next morning you woke up feeling extremely nauseous. You tried to get up without waking Joe, but the movement made things so much worse you had to jump up and sprint for the toilet. Thank god we have an en-suite now. "Babe?" Joe groaned from the bed. "What's up?" You didn't want to open your mouth to respond. While you were curled over the bowl you heard footsteps. You were suddenly aware of Joe standing behind you. "Oh, honey" he murmured sympathetically, leaning down to rub your back in soothing circles. 

When you finally stopped heaving you looked up to see Joe studying you with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "Are you sick, babe? You seemed fine last night…" "I was" you told him crossly. "Or at least, I wasn't feeling like this. I have been really tired though" you explained, thoughtfully. "Maybe you've caught something from Loolah?" Joe suggested. She was always passing things on from school. "Maybe" you echoed, unsure. "She hasn't been sick lately though." You hauled yourself upright and went to brush your teeth. "I've probably just eaten something dodgy" you assured your husband. "If you say so" he replied, sounding unconvinced. "You don't believe me?" you asked him. Joe stood behind you at the sink while you brushed, looking uncertain. "I do, it's just… well… we were, ah, trying all honeymoon, maybe it worked?" he said, rather suggestively. "I doubt it" you told him, "It’s only the first month. Besides, I'm about to get m-" Wait, what's the date? You were abruptly silenced by a sudden realisation. "What?" he asked frantically. "My period. It's two weeks late. How did I not notice that?" He smiled. "So you think-?" You nodded. "I really could be. I think I'd better go to the pharmacy today..."

Joe had to go to work that day, but by some weird stroke of luck, you had a day off. You ran out to the pharmacy that very morning and bought two tests, rushing home to do them as soon as you could. The results were clear as day. Positive. Both of them. Oh my god, it actually worked. I’m really pregnant. I have to do something cute to tell Joe. You immediately started to develop a plan for your very special announcement. I’m so happy. God, he’s going to be so excited. He’s going to be the best dad too.

Joe arrived home that afternoon to the usual enthusiastic welcome from Tallulah. When you finally managed to persuade Tallulah to let him go, you sent her off to watch cartoons while you took Joe upstairs to freshen up. "So did you get to the drugstore today?" he asked quietly. "I did" you replied, trying to sound casual. "And?" he questioned, as you reached your shared bedroom.  “I, um, I also got you a present today” you told him, pointing at a white box sitting on your shared bed. “Ookay?” Joe looked at you, confused, as he sat down and opened the box. He pulled out the tiniest Yankees shirt you’d been able to find. “This is so cute!” Joe exclaimed. “But why'd y-? Wait." He stared at the shirt intently. Suddenly he looked at you, thunderstruck. "No. Way" he breathed. "Holy shit. The honeymoon worked?" he asked excitedly, breaking into a huge grin. You nodded, wordlessly showing him the tests you'd hidden in the bedside drawer. Joe’s face lit up, as he broke into happy tears. "Oh my god. You’re actually pregnant?” he asked wonderingly. "Yes, Joe, I’m really pregnant” you echoed, tearing up yourself despite your joyful smile. “We're going to have a baby, darling.” “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m gonna be a dad!” he exclaimed, pulling you in for a bear hug and kissing you deeply through the tears.

“I’m so excited babe, I want to tell everyone” he gushed as he held you. You pulled back to look at him. “Joe, darling, I literally just peed on the sticks this morning, I haven’t even been to the doctor yet. We can’t tell anyone for now, ok?” Joe looked at your serious face and nodded, disappointed. “Ok” he agreed. You paused. “Actually, we’ll need to be careful when we go back down, even Loolah doesn’t know.” “Crap” Joe cursed. “I even have to keep this from your child who lives with us? I know I’m not the expert, but that seems like a bad idea even to me” he said. “It’s only for a few weeks” you reassured him. He sighed. “I know babe, it’s just, I’m so excited, I don’t know if I can keep it in for that long.” “Well you’ll just have to try” you replied quietly. You held each other wordlessly for a moment. “I love you, did I tell you that?” Joe murmured, finally breaking the silence. “Both of you” he added, smiling broadly. “We love you too” you replied dreamily. You didn’t think you’d ever been happier than you were at that moment.

June

By the time you managed to find a doctor and get an appointment a few weeks had passed, and you were already 9 weeks along. In the meantime you had at least managed to get your pregnancy officially confirmed by a blood test at a walk-in clinic. You were still holding off on telling people about it, but it was getting difficult to hide the fact that something was happening to you. You were constantly nauseous, and it was a battle to get through a whole day of work without a spontaneous nap. I swear it wasn’t this bad last time. I suppose I was a lot younger then. This time seems so different though. Joe had managed to keep his promise so far, even with Tallulah, but you weren’t convinced he could go much longer without exploding. In any case, he was very excited about your first appointment. He made sure he was free to go with you on your afternoon off, while Tallulah was at school.

Doctor Baker was a slightly older woman with a calm, pleasant manner and a sterling reputation. You sat quietly in front of her as she checked over your paperwork. “Ok, well, that all looks good. So, just to confirm, is this your first child?” She asked pleasantly. You and Joe looked at each other. “Uh…” he muttered.“It’s my second, but it’s his first” you explained, pointing to him. “Ok, and how old’s your first?” The doctor inquired. “She’s seven” you and Joe replied simultaneously. Doctor Baker smiled kindly. “Well, as it’s been a few years you might find things are a bit different this time around, but that’s totally normal” she told you. “Now, let’s have a look at what’s going on in there.”

You moved over to the bed in her office while she bustled around preparing the ultrasound machine. Joe sat next to you, nervously holding your hand while the doctor put the gel on your stomach and turned the machine on. “Ok, let’s see” the doctor murmured, moving the ultrasound wand around experimentally. “Ah! Here we go” she said suddenly, as the room was filled with the familiar sound of a tiny heart beating. But that doesn’t sound like I remember. “You hear that?” You nodded quietly. “That’s two heartbeats. Two strong heartbeats” the doctor informed you. What?! "There's… what?! Joe cried, his mouth opening in shock. “Two? There’s two of them?” You asked Doctor Baker, equally stunned. “Yes,” she smiled, “two healthy babies. Congratulations.” You and Joe turned to look at each other simultaneously. “Twins!” You both exclaimed. “Oh my god, twins!” Joe gushed, overjoyed. You were both tearing up at the news. “Here, have a look” Doctor Baker said quietly, moving the wand so you could see both babies. “Wow” Joe breathed. “Yeah” you agreed. You made sure to get printouts of a few images from the ultrasound. You wanted to remember this moment forever.

Joe was bursting with excitement when you left the doctor’s office. “Oh my god, babe, we’re having twins!” “I know Joe, I was there” you quipped, exasperated. “I know babe, it’s just, I can’t believe this is actually happening” he explained. “Oh, it’s really happening” you quipped, smiling. Getting home brought another challenge. “Look, I know we’re not telling people yet, but I swear to God if I don’t tell someone soon I’m going to explode” Joe told you later that day. You were still reluctant to tell anybody until you were further along, but you decided to compromise. “We could tell my parents later if you want” you suggested. Joe enthusiastically agreed, so later that afternoon you FaceTimed them while holding one of your ultrasound photos. Your mum gasped when she saw what it was, and you were pretty sure she squealed when you told her you were actually having twins. Your dad was pretty happy too, the semi-argument before your wedding now long forgotten. Joe was very pleased it wasn’t a complete secret any more, and to your immense relief he managed to keep calm once Tallulah got home. You were very excited too, but you knew it was best to wait just a bit longer before telling her. Just a few weeks, and then we can tell everybody.              

July

The arrival of July heralded the beginning of Tallulah's summer holidays. This also meant a visit from Roger, who was taking her to his house in LA for a few weeks, although he was going to enjoy a couple of days with her in New York first. The final day before their departure, which Roger spent showing Tallulah around some of the New York sights, very conveniently coincided with your next visit to Doctor Baker. It was a glorious summer’s day, and you took a minute to enjoy the weather with Joe after your appointment. Both babies had received a clean bill of health, so you were in a buoyant mood as you lounged on a park bench together, basking in the sunshine. “Please tell me we can tell Tallulah now,” Joe pleaded, “keeping this secret is absolutely killing me.” “We’ll tell her tonight” you reassured him. “Oh, wait, Roger’s coming for dinner” you realised, thinking out loud. “So?” Joe responded. “We’re gonna have to tell him at some point, might as well get it over with.” “True” you murmured. “So, we’ll tell them tonight?” he asked. “Yeah.” “And then we can tell the world” Joe added. “And then the world” you echoed, smiling contentedly. It was going to be a good summer.

That night, before dinner, you presented Tallulah with a t-shirt that said ‘World’s Best Big Sister’ on the front. Roger saw it and immediately glanced at you with a knowing smile, but said nothing. Tallulah stared at the shirt in confusion, until suddenly her face lit up when she realised what it meant. “I’m gonna be a big sister?!” She cried, beaming with excitement. You smiled at her obvious joy. “Yes, darling.” “So does that mean… there’s a baby in your tummy, Mummy?” She asked, a little uncertainly. “Actually, Loolah,” Joe cut in, sitting down beside her at the dining table, “there’s two babies in Mommy’s tummy.” “Twins?” Tallulah squealed happily. “Yeah, twins” Joe confirmed, pulling some ultrasound pictures out of his pocket. “Have a look, sweetie.”

Tallulah chattered excitedly all through dinner, clearly delighted at the prospect of two younger siblings. It sounded like she’d had a nice day out with Roger too. Finally dinner was finished, Joe was cleaning up and Roger was putting Tallulah to bed, giving you a rare moment to sink onto the couch and enjoy some peace and quiet. Joe soon returned from the kitchen to sit next to you, holding you close. "You feeling ok?" he asked softly. "Just tired" you reassured him. You cuddled quietly together, chatting lazily about nothing in particular, until Roger reappeared. "Loolah's finally asleep" he told you, settling himself into an armchair next to the couch. "She seems happy, she had lots of questions." "Which you'll have to answer for the next three weeks" you quipped, grinning evilly. "True" Roger commented thoughtfully. "Now, as I haven't said it yet, congratulations, both of you" he added, smiling warmly. "Thanks, man" Joe replied, looking pleased at Roger's obvious joy. "Twins!" Roger mused. "That's… really great, actually. I'm so pleased things have worked out for you two." You and Joe both smiled at that.

“So when are you due?” Roger asked pleasantly. “January” you replied. “Which I guess means I’ll be too pregnant to take Loolah home for Christmas like I was planning.” Joe looked surprised. “You’re already planning Christmas in July?” he asked incredulously. “Not really,” you explained, “I just remembered I’d said to Mum that we’d go back to them this year.” “Well maybe your parents’ll just have to come over here instead” Roger suggested. “Perhaps” you mused. “I could come for New Year’s, have a late Christmas with Loolah” he added, thinking out loud. “That could be fun” Joe commented. You suddenly realised your next New Year’s Eve would be very different to previous celebrations. I’m definitely looking forward to it though.

You and Joe waved Tallulah and Roger off the next morning in an extremely good mood. You were determined to make the most of Tallulah’s holiday in LA, given it was likely to be the last time you were kid-free for quite a while. First on the agenda was a long-awaited band reunion. Unusually, Ben and Gwilym were both going to be working in New York at the same time, so it had been decided that a band dinner simply had to be arranged. You and Joe had decided to make an announcement at this dinner, but your plans went slightly awry when Ben dropped in that afternoon. You didn’t want to tell him early, but he saw you dashing for the bathroom at one point and was immediately concerned. “Are you ok Y/N?” he asked you when you came back. “You look a little pale…” “I’m fine, Ben” you assured him. “What’s up?” Joe asked, wandering over to his friend. “I had to run for the loo again” you explained. “Aw, you’re still sick? I thought it was getting better” Joe sympathised. “You’re sick?” Ben asked. “Um, kind of…” you muttered sheepishly. “Kind of? Guys, what’s going on?” Ben demanded, clearly confused. Joe glanced at you, and you nodded slightly, giving him wordless permission. “It's fine, Ben, it’s just morning sickness” he explained. "Oh. Right" Ben replied automatically. Then he processed Joe's comment properly. “Wait, morning sickness? Does that mean you're-?" He looked expectantly at Joe, who nodded silently. Ben beamed in response "Oh my god, that’s so great! Congratulations!” he gushed, pulling you both into a warm bear hug.

Telling the rest of the band was easy. They knew something was up as soon as you turned down the wine they were sharing. You noticed Ben smirking slightly at their confusion as to why before Joe spoke up. “Yeah, Y/N can’t drink for the next six months… cause I knocked her up.” There were a few giggles, which were followed by a shocked silence as everyone realised Joe was serious. “Yeah, and he did a great job” you added. “I’m having twins.” This revelation triggered an explosion of happy noise around the table. “You sneaky buggers, you didn’t tell me it was twins!” Ben cried, grinning at you regardless. Lucy just squealed with happiness. Dinner was interrupted while everyone stood to embrace you and Joe and murmur their congratulations. Rami looked positively overjoyed for his old friend. "Twins. Wow" he muttered to you. "Yeah, we might need your expert advice some time" you commented. "Oh, of course. Anything you need, just let us know" he assured you.

Later on Gwilym wandered over, beaming at you. “Congratulations love, it’s wonderful news.” “Aw, thank you” you replied, smiling. “They’re not going to play baseball are they?” he asked, half-seriously. “I don’t think they’ll get much choice” you sighed, grinning. “But I’m definitely teaching them cricket too, they’re British after all. I suppose we’ll just have to let them choose when they get older.” Gwilym smiled. “How modern of you.” You grinned wolfishly. “They’re both going to be cricket fans though. No children of mine are allowed to leave me to suffer through a whole Test series alone.” Gwilym laughed at that, and you could feel his happiness for you and Joe. You really were amazed at just how happy everyone was for you.

August

August should have been blissful. Tallulah was back from LA and Joe had arranged his schedule so he'd be working in New York until she went back to school. Even then, he didn't have much on, just a bit of press for his new movie and a few meetings. You were planning to enjoy some time as a family of three, a relaxed interlude before school returned and your family grew. But you spent only a week back together before getting a sharp reminder of some of the less-welcome aspects of life as an actor's wife.

It was Sunday morning, which meant Tallulah was watching cartoons while you and Joe unwound in the kitchen with cups of tea. The peace was suddenly shattered by the jangle of Joe’s phone. Joe glanced at the screen and then at you. “Text from Lucy” he told you. “Apparently we’re on TMZ again.” You’d been attracting a bit of paparazzi attention since appearing at the premiere of Joe’s new movie a few weeks ago, and you were starting to wonder whether they suspected something. “What are they saying?” you asked casually. “I don’t know, I haven’t found it yet” Joe grumbled, scrolling rapidly on the ipad resting on the kitchen bench. “Here we go.” He turned the screen around so you could read it.

At the top was the headline ‘Bo Rhap baby on board?’ over a picture of you and Joe walking down the street, in which your bump was clearly visible under your sundress. “Bloody hell, I knew that dress wasn’t covering anything” you cursed. “Does it matter? Everybody knows anyway” Joe pointed out. “Instagram doesn’t.” “I forgot about that” Joe commented. “Maybe it’s time they did?” he suggested. You had been hoping to hold off on a public announcement a little bit longer, but now it seemed like you didn’t have much choice. “I think it is” you agreed. You spent a lot of that Sunday planning out the perfect announcement, and you found yourself surprisingly excited at the prospect of sharing your news with the world.

The next day you had a doctor’s appointment, and you made a point of getting printouts of your latest ultrasound. You all got a clean bill of health too. When you got home Joe took some very nice pictures of you holding the printouts against your now very obvious bump, as well as some of you just cradling the bump. In the end he picked one of the latter shots to post, along with a close-up of the ultrasound photos against your stomach. Underneath them he wrote: ‘Just when I thought this year couldn’t get any bigger, this happened. Our little trio will be a family of five in January. Yep, double trouble is coming for the Mazzello-Y/L/N household next year (swipe for visual evidence). I almost can’t believe how much I love our little aliens already.’ You couldn’t help smiling when you saw the post. “Good?” Joe asked. “Very” you confirmed. “You’re so cute sometimes, you’re such a softie.”

Joe’s post was instantly deluged with happy comments from all and sundry. Even Brian left a nice message: ‘So pleased for you both. These kids will have wonderful parents, and be loved by so many others too. All the best for January! Bri’. “He’s so lovely” Joe commented. “He is” you agreed. “He’s right though.” “What, that everyone’s going to love our kids?” Joe joked. You smiled. “No, silly, the other thing.” This statement seemed to surprise your husband. “You really think I’m going to be a good dad?” “Joe, you already are” you said softly. Joe was confused. “Huh?” “You’re absolutely Tallulah’s parent at this point” you explained. “Not biologically of course, but that’s not what makes a good parent anyway.” “You think I’m a good parent?” Joe questioned, blown away by your statement. “Of course darling, do you think I would have moved across the pond for you if I didn’t?” You were joking, but only partly. Joe smiled anyway.

Joe ended up needing to fly to LA in the last week of Tallulah’s summer holidays. He was extremely put out that all his careful planning had still lead to him being away over the summer, but you assured him you could survive the last few days before school on your own. Tallulah spent two of them on a sleepover, and you took the last Friday off so you could have a long weekend with her as an end-of-summer treat. You spent most of the day doing back-to-school shopping, even though you wanted nothing more than to lounge on the couch all day. You were able to do that on Saturday, while Joe was helping Tallulah pick out her first day of school outfit via FaceTime. Joe insisted on taking on that particular parent duty, even while he was on the other side of the country. “You wouldn’t understand the importance of this,” he told you. “You always wore a uniform.” You just shrugged; you didn’t have the energy to argue. You weren’t that bothered, truth be told. You were glad to see Joe making the effort to spend some one-on-one time with Tallulah while he still could, even if it was over FaceTime. Oddly, watching them made you miss Joe more, but you knew he’d be home soon enough.

September

Joe had to stay in LA until mid-September. He was quite disappointed about missing Tallulah’s first day back at school, though she didn’t seem to mind much. She was too busy reuniting with all her friends and getting to know her new class. You were glad she was happy to be back at school, and there were a few parents you were pleased to see again too. Many of them had already heard about your impending new arrivals, and those that hadn’t were made aware by your now very obvious bump. In any case they all seemed quite happy for you, which made for a very positive first day of school on all fronts.

You went to a doctor’s appointment by yourself while Joe was away. You didn’t mind particularly, but it felt a bit odd given he’d been so involved up to that point. Doctor Baker seemed surprised to see you alone. “No Joe?��� she asked casually. “He’s away” you explained. “Working in LA.” The doctor nodded in understanding. “Of course.” There was a pause while you prepared yourself for the examination. “When you’re ready we’re going to do an ultrasound” Doctor Baker explained. “We should be able to find out the genders today, if you want.” I totally forgot I was getting to that point. Do I want to know though? You hesitated to respond. Wait, does Joe want to know? He should be here when we find out. If we find out. “I think I’d prefer not to know for now” you finally told her. “We can always find out later if we decide we want to know, right?” The doctor nodded. “Absolutely. You’ll have plenty more ultrasounds after this one.” Something to look forward to, then.

Joe was pleased when you told him you hadn’t found out yet. “I definitely want to be there when we find out what we’re having” he told you, when you were FaceTiming that night. “So you want to know, then?” “Yeah” he confirmed. “Don’t you?” You shrugged. “I’m not fussed. I never found out with Loolah, and-” “You weren’t desperate to know?” Joe was shocked. “I didn’t really care what I had, it made no difference to me” you explained. “Plus I didn’t want to freak Roger out, finding out before the birth wasn’t an option in his day.” Joe grinned. “Well it is now, and I don’t want to wait four more months to find out.” You smiled contentedly. “We’ll find out when you get back then.”

Finally the day of Joe’s temporary homecoming arrived. He would have to leave again in only a fortnight, but you were very glad to be getting him back in the meantime. Joe's eyes bugged out when he saw how much you'd grown since he'd been away. "Has it really only been three weeks?!" "Growth spurt" you shrugged. "Or maybe you just didn’t notice how big I was when you left. Anyway, welcome home." You smiled, leaning in for a quick, chaste kiss before Tallulah came barrelling down the hallway to greet Joe. You decided to leave them to it, and shuffled off back to the couch. You could hear Joe clumping around for a while, chatting with Tallulah and putting his things away. Suddenly it went quiet, and then you saw your husband flop down next to you. "Hi honey. I missed you" he told you, leaning over and giving you a deep, hungry kiss. "I missed you too" you murmured, as you broke apart. Joe put his hands on your bump, leaning down to kiss it. "And I missed- what was that?" he asked frantically, eyes wide with shock at what he'd just felt. "I think that was a kick" you told him, smiling. "Keep talking." "What?" Joe asked, confused. "They seem to like your voice" you explained. "Oh. Ok. Well, um, this job kinda sucks and I don't like the director at all. I mean-" Joe stopped abruptly, staring at you with a mixture of joy and shock. "They both kicked" he murmured, looking slightly teary. "Suddenly this all feels a lot more real." "Oh it's plenty real, darling" you told him, smiling broadly. “Yeah but… they’re really real. I have actual living kids in there” Joe marvelled. “I’m actually going to be a dad.” He was practically crying at that. “It’s going to be great Joe. You’re going to be great” you assured him.

Joe’s hands barely left your bump for days. He was determined not to miss anything while he was home, no matter how small. He was particularly excited about attending your next appointment now that you were going to find out the genders of your babies. Your twins weren’t identical, so both babies would need to be checked. You and Joe were both rather antsy as the ultrasound got underway. “Ok, we’re almost there” Doctor Baker told you, smiling at your obvious excitement. She peered at the screen for a minute. “So this one is Baby A, and it’s a boy.” You turned to Joe. “A boy!” he beamed, slightly glossy eyed. Your moment was broken by Doctor Baker clearing her throat. You turned your attention back to her. “I’ve found Baby B now, and it looks like…” You felt a flutter in your belly as you saw the baby turn away from you on the screen. “Well they’re not cooperating now,” the doctor went on, “but from what I saw before it looked like a boy too.” You and Joe were quiet as you digested the news. Two boys. Bloody hell. Your reverie was broken by Doctor Baker’s voice. “I feel I should warn you, with the ultrasound we can’t guarantee what we tell you is right, but I’m pretty confident about Baby A being a boy.” “You’re not confident about Baby B?” Joe asked her. “Not entirely, I didn’t get a very good look before they decided to hide.” “It’s fine” you assured her, wanting to get on with the appointment before Joe got worked up. Whatever happened, you’d deal with it when the time came.    

October

Joe spent quite a lot of October flying back and forth between work in LA and your home in New York. His shooting schedule turned out to involve a lot of three day breaks, just long enough for a quick visit home. You would have quite liked to spend most of them relaxing together, but Joe was determined to do as much baby preparation as possible while he was home, to save you the effort. He was thrilled to be having twin boys, and had dived into nursery set-up with gusto. He was determined to get the big things like the cribs sorted out nice and early, just in case. “You’re having twins, they’re likely to come early” he reminded you after you told him for the umpteenth time to relax. “They’re not due for months, Joe. Besides, the doctor said everything’s on track for January.” Your husband wouldn’t be persuaded. “Things can change very quickly. You never know when something might happen.” You stopped arguing the point when you realised he was never going to change his mind, and eventually Joe admitted he was doing it because he felt guilty about leaving you alone at home so much.

You weren’t actually alone very often though. There was Tallulah, of course, and plenty of your friends and family were dropping in regularly to check up on you (you suspected Joe might have told them how he worried about you). Joe’s mother was a frequent visitor, spurred by the desire to both help you and reassure her son. One afternoon you were sat with her drinking tea, not long after Joe had FaceTimed you. “So how was the daddy-to-be?” she asked. You smiled. “Same as usual. Annoyed he’s not here, missing us desperately.” Joe’s mother smiled affectionately. “Didn’t want to talk about work then.” “He never does” you told her. Suddenly Tallulah trotted up to the couch. “Did you say Daddy?” she asked eagerly. “We were talking about Joe, darling” you explained. Tallulah was confused. “But he’s not Daddy.” “He’s not” you agreed. “But he’s their daddy.” You patted your swollen belly, indicated Tallulah’s unborn siblings. “Oh.” Tallulah looked thoughtful; you wondered whether she understood. “Does that mean I have to call Joe Daddy when the babies come?” she finally asked. You smiled reassuringly. “Not if you don’t want to. But other people might” you explained. “Oh. Ok.” Tallulah looked unhappy at this development. “Could I make a suggestion?” Joe’s mum asked gently. “Loolah, do you remember how I told you Joe’s half-Italian?” Tallulah nodded. “Well the Italian word for daddy is ‘papa’. Maybe you could call him that instead?” “Papa…” Tallulah pronounced the word experimentally, testing how it sounded. Suddenly she smiled. “I like it!” She wasn’t the only one. Joe beamed when he heard her greet him with a happy “Hi Papa!” on FaceTime. We’re really a family now, aren’t we.

November

Joe had hoped his work schedule would continue to allow him frequent trips to see you, but it was not to be. He had one break before Thanksgiving, for a single day, which he spent alone in LA, desperately wishing he was home. As the weeks rolled on he was increasingly worried about how you were managing on your own. “I’m not on my own, Joe” you assured him down the phone. “Your mum visits twice a week, and Lucy texts me five times a day to check on me.” Lucy was coming to New York to spend Thanksgiving with Rami, and you were already making extensive plans to get together while she was in town. “I know she is, Rami told me” Joe grumbled. “I’m just worried that you’ll be alone with Tallulah and something’ll happen and I won’t be there to help.” His concern for you was evident in the tone of his voice. “Tallulah’s seven, babe, she’s perfectly capable of calling someone if we need help” you pointed out. “I suppose…” Joe sighed. “But what if they come early and I’m not there?” “You’re going to be back a month before they’re due, and even the doctor thinks they’re unlikely to come before Christmas.” Or so you thought.

Joe finally came home for Thanksgiving weekend, and the day after the holiday you had yet another appointment with Doctor Baker. Carrying twins meant you needed frequent checkups to make sure things continued to progress smoothly. This time you got some unexpected, and not entirely welcome, news. “So are you all ready for these guys to arrive?” the doctor asked pleasantly, while you were tidying yourself up after your examination. “Uh, kind of” you and Joe both stuttered. Doctor Baker looked slightly worried. “Well, I don’t want to alarm you, but I think you should be aware that realistically you could go into labour really any time from now on.” You were both shocked. “But isn’t it still too early?” you asked, suddenly scared. “I mean. I’m not due for another seven weeks.” Doctor Baker hurried to reassure you. “That’s true, and at this point it’s early enough that our first move would be to try and stop the labour, but that doesn’t always work.” You and Joe looked at each other with concern, not particularly reassured. “Look, I don’t think you’re going to go into labour tomorrow, and even if you did I would expect your babies to be absolutely fine” the doctor told you calmly. “But I would be prepared for them to arrive some time before Christmas.” “But that’s still three weeks early at least!” you spluttered. “Three weeks early is nearly full term” Doctor Baker said calmly. “And twins are very often born early. Not always, but it’s very common. In any case, I’m only telling you this because I think it would be a good idea if you started to make a plan now for what you want to happen when your babies do come. Just in case, you know. It never hurts to be prepared.” “Of course Doctor. Thanks for the advice” Joe replied, sounding calmer than he looked as you left the doctor’s office.

On your drive home Joe let the façade drop. “They can’t come yet, I’m about to be away for two weeks” he said, seemingly on the verge of panic. “And it’s still so early, what if one of them’s sick?” “They won’t be, Joe, we’re in good hands” you told him, not entirely believing it yourself. “Anyway, we definitely need to make a plan. I don’t want them to come while you’re not here either, but I’d much rather be at least somewhat prepared if they do.” “You’re right” Joe sighed. “When we get home we’ll work something out.”

In the end the plan you came up with mostly involved going to the hospital and ringing Joe as soon as possible so he could get on the next plane home. “What if I don’t get there in time though?” He fretted. “I’ll make sure to record it for you” you reassured him. “But they’re my first kids, I want to be there. I’m supposed to go through it with you!” You wrapped your arms around him in an attempt to comfort him. “I know, darling, I want you with me too. But sometimes life doesn’t give you what you want, and that’s ok.” Joe shook his head. “No it’s not. I don’t want to be that dad who wasn’t even there when his kids were born.” “You could never be that dad, Joe” you reassured him, pulling him close. “If you do end up missing it, it won’t be your fault at all.” Your husband suddenly peered intently at you. “How are you so calm about this?” “Last time I had a baby I had absolutely no way of knowing if the father would be there, and neither did he” you pointed out. “As much as he wanted to be there, neither of us had any control over it. This time we do, and I know you’ll move heaven and earth to get here in time if it comes down to it.” Joe still wasn’t entirely soothed, but he at least had faith you would be alright, whatever happened.

The knowledge that the babies could come at any time made Joe more worried than ever about leaving you alone while he was on the other side of the country. Fortunately, your wonderful friends were more than happy to step in when they were informed of the situation. Lucy was staying in New York until New Year’s, so she organised to visit you every day she could while Joe was away, and she promised to send Rami on the days she couldn’t. She even volunteered to be your hospital buddy if necessary. Ben also happily offered support, though of a slightly different kind.

“Uh, babe, would you be okay with a houseguest while I’m away?” Joe asked you at dinner, the night before he was due to fly back to LA. “Depends who it is” you said casually. “Why?” “Ben’s in town for press next week, and we thought maybe he could stay here, help you with Loolah til I get back.” That would be helpful. “How long’s he here for?” you inquired. “Two weeks, we’re gonna hang out for a couple days when he’s done working” Joe explained. “When’s he get here?” “Monday week” Joe told you. I’d only have to spend a week alone while Joe’s not here. You smiled. “Okay then.” Relief swept over Joe’s face. “Oh good. I feel a lot better about leaving you now I know you won’t be alone” he told you. “In the meantime I’m telling them they’re to stay put until you’re home again” you said firmly.        

December

True to her word, Lucy had visited you nearly every day after Joe returned to LA. The first day after Joe left turned out to be the one day she wasn’t free, so Rami dropped in to check on you instead. He insisted it was no trouble, despite his busy schedule. “I had a day off today, I wasn’t busy” he told you, after you thanked him for making time to see you. “Anyway, I’m always here for you and Joe. Me and Lucy. If you need anything, honestly, just call us, anytime. Even the middle of the night, we won’t mind. Seriously, we’re here to help however we can.” “Thanks, Rami” you murmured, hearing the sincerity in his words.

The first week without Joe passed surprisingly quickly, and before you knew it the day of Ben’s arrival was upon you. You were looking forward to having some adult company, but you were slightly nervous too. You’d never spent any substantial time alone with Ben, and now he was going to be sharing your house for a fortnight. Tallulah, on the other hand, was extremely excited about one of her favourite people coming to stay. So excited, in fact, that she tried to stay home from school to be there when he arrived. You eventually won the battle, but the whole process of getting her to school tired you out so much that you spent a lot of the morning napping on your couch. You awoke to the telltale sound of a car in the driveway, and waddled as fast as you could to the front door, opening it just in time to see a cab disgorge Ben, a large suitcase and two other bags.

Ben smiled when he saw you in the doorway. “Y/N!” he called out happily. “Don’t come out, I can sort myself. Go and sit down, I won’t be long.” You made agreeing noises, realising you wouldn’t be much help with anything in your present state. Besides, you were officially banned from heavy lifting, you wouldn’t even be able to help carry something. Several minutes of shuffling and yelling directions up and down your stairs later, Ben was settled into your guest room. When he came downstairs again he was smiling warmly. “It really is good to see you again, love.” “You too” you agreed. Ben’s eyes went wide when he finally got a good look at you, and your enormous bump. “God, you’re…” He trailed off, looking apologetic. “Go on, say it. It’s fine” you assured him. “Well then, you’re kind of huge. Joe’s told me about the bump, hell he’s even shown me pictures, but seeing the real thing… how do you even get that big and not, like, break?” “With great difficulty” you quipped. You weren’t offended by Ben’s honest reaction, you knew he was just a bit shocked.

Five minutes later you were sat on the couch nursing a cup of tea while Ben made himself a coffee. You were quite grateful to be sitting down as the monsters were suddenly restless. “I’m done here, do you want anything else?” Ben called from the kitchen. “I’m good” you called back. Ben returned to the couch to see you holding your tea rather gingerly while looking uncomfortable. “Are you alr- … what is that?” His eyes widened when he glanced at your bump and realised it was moving. You smiled reassuringly. “They’re just kicking. D’you wanna feel?” Ben grinned eagerly. “Yeah! If that’s ok with you?” “Of course it is. C’mere.” He’s so lovely. Half the planet doesn’t even bother asking before touching the bump. You placed his hand over the spot the babies were kicking at. His jaw dropped at the feeling. “That’s so weird! It must be weirder for you though, feeling that from inside.” You grinned. “It is a bit, but it’s sort of reassuring too, getting to feel that they’re still there, still ok.” Ben smiled. “Well it seems pretty cool to me.” You grinned back. “Oh, it’s very cool.” 

Tallulah was very excited to come home and find Ben waiting for her. “Benny!” She yelled, running over to embrace him. “Loolah!” He cried back. “You’ve grown so much since I saw you, you’re getting so big!” He gushed. “I heard you’re going to be a big sister soon too.” She nodded seriously. “Mommy’s having two babies. That’s why she’s so big.” Ben smiled. “I heard. Now come into the lounge room, I’ve got a present for you.” He smiled at you on the way past. “I’ve got a present for Mummy too.”

Ben had brought your daughter a kid’s cricket set, complete with plastic wickets. “She’s English, she shouldn’t be playing bloody softball” he quipped. “Also Gwilym may have told me I have to save her before she goes native.” You just laughed. For you, Ben had brought over a big jar of marmite and two large packs of Jaffa Cakes. “Joe told me you’d been craving them” he explained. You were surprised. “Joe talks to you guys about pregnancy stuff?” Ben smiled exasperatedly. “Mate, he hardly shuts up about it.” You smiled affectionately. “Not that it’s not cute how excited he is,” Ben said hurriedly, “but he’s barely talked about anything else for months.” Okay, I can see how that could get annoying. Still adorable though. 

Ben slotted surprisingly easily into the routines of your household. He was out working or socialising at various times of the day or night, but when he was home he was an excellent guest. He took Tallulah to and from school as often as possible, knowing leaving the house was fast becoming a big effort for you. He also insisted on doing as much housework as he could, helping you with washing, cooking and cleaning whenever he had time. “Joe’d have my head if he thought I’d left you to do everything in your condition” Ben joked one day, after you’d told him for the umpteenth time you were fine to do light chores. You didn’t particularly mind, if you were really honest, you actually quite liked having an extra adult around.

Joe finally came home in the second week of December. You shared a very long hug in the doorway when he finally made it home. He nearly cried with relief when he saw you. Of course he’d already known that you were ok before he left LA, but he’d spent two weeks worrying about what ifs, not to mention the several interminable hours he spent unable to talk to you on the plane. “If we ever have another I’m staying home the whole time, I never want to deal with that much worry again” he declared later. That night Ben had dinner at home with the three of you. Joe had wanted to go out, but he took one look at your expression when he suggested it and immediately changed his mind. During the meal he took a picture with Ben, which he posted to Instagram with the caption ‘Finally reunited.’ Naturally, his comments exploded in minutes, but he was too focused on catching up with both of you to care. 

You were so looking forward to spending a few days just relaxing with Joe now that he was finally home. But apparently your children had other plans. The very next morning you lurched awake at 5am with a sharp pain in your belly. You didn't think much of it initially, you'd been having all sorts of pains on and off for weeks. Then you realised you were lying in a wet patch. Well shit. "Joe." You tried to shake your husband awake gently. "Joe, wake up." "What?" he groaned, still mostly asleep. "I think my waters broke" you said urgently. He lurched upright. "It's go time? Even though it’s still five weeks early?" he asked, suddenly awake. "Looks like it" you said dryly. Joe leapt out of bed, looking frantic. "Shit. Ok. We need to get the bag, and get dressed, and-" "Joe, calm down. There's no need to rush, we've got plenty of time" you reassured your frantic husband. He immediately stopped babbling. "Well, you're the expert." You smiled. "Help me get dressed?" you requested. "Of course babe." Joe's eyes were soft and loving as he spoke. It took only a few minutes for you both to be ready to leave the house. But you had a couple more things to attend to before you could head to the hospital.

First Joe helped you across the landing to the guest bedroom currently occupied by Ben. He entered quietly with you waddling behind him. "Ben" he whispered urgently, nudging his friend, "Ben, come on." It didn't work, so Joe reached across to hit him gently with a spare pillow. "Ben!" Ben rolled over, groaning, only to snap awake at the sight of the two of you leaning over his bed. "What, what's going on?" he asked, concerned. "The babies are coming" Joe explained. "We have to go to the hospital." "Perfect timing" Ben quipped. "Yeah, if this had happened this time yesterday you’d have been driving me" you joked. "Look, I’m pretty glad this guys held off until now" Joe cut in. "But anyway, I know you're here for work but can you do us a huge favour and watch Tallulah today?" he added, pleading a little with his eyes. Ben smiled. "Of course I can. I think I'm actually free today anyway" the blond man told you both. "Great!" you smiled. "Now brace yourself, she's probably going to come and jump on you after we wake her." "So make sure you're decent under there" Joe added, as he helped you out of the room. Ben just groaned. It was too early in the day for humour. 

You had one more stop before leaving. Tallulah's room. "Loolie?" you said quietly, reaching over from the chair next to her bed. "Mommy?" she replied in surprise, peering at you sleepily. "It's ok darling, I just wanted to tell you the babies are coming today" you reassured her. "Today?" Tallulah echoed. "Yes, darling. Joe's taking me to the hospital in a minute" you told her gently. "Ben's going to stay and look after you, so be good for him, okay?" you instructed. "Yes Mommy" she murmured back. "Ok, big sister, I'll see you later" you said happily, leaning over to hug your daughter. "I love you" you whispered into her wavy blonde hair. "Love you Mommy" she whispered back. You felt oddly emotional as you kissed her goodbye and left the room. Next time I see her she'll be a big sister.  

You managed to stay calm while Joe helped you into the car. But almost as soon as you started moving you burst into tears. "You ok?" Joe asked casually. Your weird moods were nothing exceptional any more. "Mostly" you told him. "It's just hit me as we were leaving that Tallulah's not going to be my only child after today" you explained. "That's a good thing, though, isn't it?" he replied, concerned. "Of course it is" you assured him. "It's just that, it was just me and her for so long, and even after you came along we were so close, and now it's not going to be like that any more" you explained, rather sadly. "Babe, you're not going to lose your bond with Loolah just because you've got other kids to raise" Joe reassured you. "I mean, it's going to be different now, but a good different, right?" "Yeah, good different" you agreed. "Plus, she's so pumped to be a big sister, it's gonna be so cute" he told you, smiling. 

It was fairly quick, in the end. You had wondered whether Doctor Baker would attempt to stop the labour, but she told you the best option at this point was to let it happen. “You’re far enough along that your babies are more or less fully developed, even though they’re not quite full term” she assured you. “They’re very healthy, they’ll be perfectly fine.” She also gave you an injection soon after you arrived at the hospital to help the babies’ lungs develop. I don’t think it’ll have much time to work, but I suppose even a little bit helps.

Joe stayed at your side for almost the entire labour, holding your hand, rubbing your back and doing anything and everything you needed him to. Finally, just before noon, the first baby arrived. "Here he is!" Doctor Baker called out, as his piercing cries filled the room. You were flooded with relief when you heard it. His lungs must be ok then. Joe sniffled as he cut the cord, and then there was a sudden flurry of activity on the other side of the room as various people descended to check the baby over, concerned about the potential consequences of his early birth. The doctor had told you earlier that a team from the NICU would be present to check both babies immediately after delivery, but you couldn’t help worrying at the sight of the crowd around your tiny son. He was only five weeks early, but what if something was wrong? Fortunately, nobody in the room seemed overly concerned so far.

Moments later, calm descended, and a nurse came over to you, carrying your son in a loose blanket. "He’s a bit small, but he’s totally healthy” she told you, smiling. “You want to help keep him warm while we wait for the other baby?" she asked. You shook your head. "Dad gets first go" you told her, smiling. Joe was wide-eyed with wonder as she placed his baby on his exposed chest for skin-to-skin bonding, showing him how to support his son's body correctly. "Hey buddy" he murmured, in a sing-song voice. His overjoyed face when he looked over to you, barely holding back happy tears, was a memory you would treasure forever. "We have a son babe" he marvelled. "I have a son."

You smiled, then suddenly groaned. "I think we're about to have another o-aaargghhh!" "Alright Y/N, time to push again" Doctor Baker said brightly. Well duh. You could have slapped her if she'd been in reach. But then you looked back at Joe, happily cradling your son on his chest, while trying to hold your hand at the same time and looking desperately conflicted, and you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of calm wash over you. It was strangely grounding as you gathered your remaining strength. Doctor Baker started gently talking you through the process, but your energy was rapidly running out. "Almost there Y/N, one more push now" she instructed you. "I can't do it any more," you cried, "I'm too tired." "You're so close now, just one more push" the doctor encouraged. "I can't" you cried again, shaking your head. Suddenly Joe squeezed your hand. "Babe, look at me" he said, voice low and soft. You turned to see him wearing an expression that was somehow adoring and determined at the same time. "I know you're tired, but you're so so close to the finish line. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, I know you can do this" he told you encouragingly. "Ok" you replied in a small voice. Joe smiled at you adoringly. "Now let's go. I'm right here with you." You gripped his hand tightly as you summoned one final effort. Moments later crying rang out through the room once again.

"Well done Y/N, you did it… oh, and it's a girl!" Doctor Baker announced. "What?!" you and Joe yelled simultaneously. "You said they were boys!" he spluttered, utterly shocked as he leant over to cut the cord again. You were rapidly becoming too exhausted to care much. The doctor was unfazed. "Well, I was wrong" she responded calmly. "Ultrasounds can be tricky to read sometimes, especially with twins. But I made a mistake, and I'm sorry about that." "It's ok" you replied. Joe still looked indignant, but at that moment a nurse came and placed your tiny daughter on your chest. His expression softened immediately, and he quickly broke into happy tears. "One of each" he sniffled, gazing between his newborn children. "We've got one of each now." You just smiled contentedly. "Yeah we do." Joe leaned over to kiss you gently. “You’re amazing honey, you really are. I love you so much.” You smiled contentedly at him “I love you too dear.”

You could have stayed there forever, you thought, just gazing at the two little beings you’d created. They would need to go to NICU soon, but they were breathing well and doing everything they were supposed to, so you were given some time to bond first. You spent the first half hour enjoying first cuddles and skin-to-skin time. You were actually encouraged to go skin-to-skin as much as possible to help the babies regulate their body temperatures. You were hardly complaining though. Joe eventually got out his phone to take some photos of you and the twins. You were very pleased you managed to capture some of him too, especially the heartwarming expression on his face when he did skin-to-skin with both babies at once for the first time. Soon after he took a similar picture of you, which he promptly sent to Ben to announce the birth. “Couldn’t resist, sorry. You just look so happy.” “So do you” you told Joe, grinning. He smiled. “I feel ridiculously happy right now.” Thirty seconds later Joe’s phone buzzed. “Ben says congratulations” he told you. “Oh, and he’s told Tallulah. He wants to know if he can bring her in to meet them yet.” Joe looked at you with concern. “Should we let him? Will they be ok?” he asked nervously. “Joe, they’re basically fine” you reassured him. “I’m sure the doctor would have told us if visitors weren’t allowed.” You smiled. “Tell him to head in. It’ll be nicer for Loolie to see them now anyway, before they go in the incubators.” Three minutes later Ben texted again saying they were on their way, and you and Joe spent a few minutes making yourselves presentable before settling in to wait.

Suddenly a pair of blond heads poked through the door. "Are you ready for a visitor?" Ben asked, smiling gently. "Definitely" Joe smiled. Ben stepped aside to reveal Tallulah, who rushed into the room with a happy cry. Joe stopped her just inside the door. "We need to be quiet and gentle, okay? The babies are delicate, we don't want to hurt them by accident" he explained. "Ok" Tallulah nodded gravely. Joe led her to your bed, where the babies were resting against your chest. "Hello Mommy" she said quietly. "Hi Loolie" you replied. "You're a big sister darling!" you told her happily. "Come and sit next to me so you can see them." "Ok" Tallulah beamed. There was a bit of awkward shuffling while Joe arranged a chair for her. During this interlude you glanced up to see Ben lurking at the door to your room. "You're allowed to come in, you know" you commented. "Oh, I don't want to intrude…" he muttered, slightly embarrassed. "You could never" Joe reassured his friend. Ben smiled at that. "Well, if you're sure…" "Yes" you and Joe insisted simultaneously. "Come on, I'll grab you a seat" Joe added, trotting off immediately.

You turned your attention back to Tallulah, now sat near your head. "Darling, this is your brother Joey" you told her, pointing to the baby on the right. "And this" you added, indicating the other baby, "is your sister. She doesn't have a name yet." Tallulah's face lit up at this news. "I have a brother and a sister? Cool!" You had to smile at how pleased she was. "Wait, she's a girl? I thought they were both boys" Ben chimed in, from his spot facing Tallulah's chair. "Yeah, so did we" Joe quipped. "It was a nice surprise though" he added, voice softening enormously. You smiled quietly to yourself for a brief moment, before Tallulah's voice broke through your reverie. "Can I hold them Mommy?" "Of course" you smiled. "Who do you want to hold first?" 

You had expected Tallulah might be extra pleased to have a sister, but she was equally entranced by both babies, evidently thrilled just to have siblings of her own. She seemed very comfortable holding them too, despite Joe’s nervous hovering and many reminders to “be gentle, they’re delicate.” Clearly she was a natural big sister. Ben, too, looked like a natural with a newborn in his arms, even if he was a little freaked out by just how small your babies were. "He's so little" he cooed, after being handed Joey by Tallulah, who was now gently cuddling her new sister. "Seriously, I don't think I've seen a baby this tiny before, and I've definitely never held one." "You're not nervous are you?" you asked half-seriously. "Little bit" Ben admitted. "I'm worried I'll accidentally hurt him cos he seems so fragile." Joe smiled reassuringly. "You're doing great, man" he told his friend. "They actually are kinda small though, even for newborns. But you’ll be fine, don’t worry about it." You thought both babies did look particularly tiny against Ben's muscly frame, but you said nothing. Joe, though, snapped a very sweet picture of Ben holding your daughter on his phone. “I have to preserve this image for posterity” he told you. Ben took some pictures too, after he handed the babies back to you and Joe. Your favourite was the shot he got of your whole family, gazing adoringly at its newest members. "You look so happy, guys" he commented, showing you the picture afterwards. You and Joe smiled contentedly at him. "We are" you replied. And you were.

You were well enough to be released after three nights in hospital. The twins, however, were required to stay in NICU for a few more days. “It’s mainly for observation” their doctor told you. “They’re doing very well, we just want to be sure there’s no issues before we let them go home.” You were reassured there were no concerns about your babies’ health, but it didn’t make it any easier to be forcibly separated from them, even if it was only when you went home at night.

The many hours spent watching over the twins in NICU proved somewhat useful, as you and Joe were now faced with the unexpected dilemma of choosing a name for your newborn daughter. You’d agreed long ago that your first son would be officially named after Joe, though you’d decided to nickname him Joey to avoid confusion. But discussions about girls’ names hadn’t gone very far before you’d been given the impression you were having twin boys. Since that impression had turned out to be incorrect, you were now facing an uphill battle to agree on a name for your little girl.

"Madison?" Joe suggested. "No. Too American" you responded instantly. “You do realise she is American?” Joe pointed out. You didn’t particularly care. “Only half. Anyway I don’t like the name. Any other ideas?” "Fine” Joe huffed. “Uh, Amy?” You considered it for a moment. “Amy Mazzello. Mhmm, maybe.” “Maybe?” Joe spluttered. “Well what’ve you got then?” “Matilda?” You offered. “I don’t like it” Joe replied. “Way too English. And, Matilda Mazzello?” “Yeah, that doesn’t sound great” you conceded. “Ooh I know! Poet” Joe suggested. You didn’t like it. “God no. We’re not Hollywood hippies, Joe” “You totally are a hippy” he snorted. You quirked your eyebrows. “What makes you say that?” “Uh, you called your first kid Tallulah Rainbow?” he pointed out. “Tallulah is a perfectly respectable name!” You protested. “Besides, the Rainbow part came from her father, not me.” “That… kind of makes sense” Joe conceded. “Still a bit hippy though.” “It’s really not” you grumbled, explaining the significance of the Rainbow Theatre in Tallulah’s life story. “Actually, that’s quite sweet” Joe admitted. Nevertheless, you and Joe were still struggling to find any names you both liked.

In the end, the solution arrived from a rather unexpected source: miss Tallulah Rainbow herself. “Amber” she suggested, when you asked if she had any name ideas to offer her sister. “Amber…” you and Joe considered. “Amber Mazzello…” “I like that” Joe told you. “So do I” you agreed. Joe feigned shock. “We both like it? I don’t believe it!” “Oh shut up” you grumped. “Anyway, do we want to try and find a middle name we can agree on, or just give her one name and be done with it?” “Actually, I was hoping we could slot in a Queen reference somewhere” Joe admitted. “I was thinking maybe her middle name could be Mercury?” “That’s such a cool name” Ben interjected. “It is” you agreed. “So, Amber Mercury Mazzello?” Joe suggested, carefully sounding out the full name for the first time. “Amber Mercury Mazzello” you repeated. “I love it.” 

You felt bad for messing up Ben's plans, but you could also see that having him around was an utter godsend while the twins were still in hospital. Despite supposedly being in town for work, he spent a lot of that week looking after Tallulah and generally being helpful around the house. This had the dual benefit of freeing you and Joe to spend most of your time with the twins, and ensuring Tallulah didn’t feel too left out in all the chaos. Ben did end up having to cancel a couple of interviews, but he didn’t mind too much. “They were group interviews, the rest of the cast still went, it’s fine” he assured you over dinner one night. "Besides, one of them was with Screenstuff, so I’m quite happy to have missed that." “With Marcie?” Joe asked, in a very sympathetic tone. “Yep” Ben replied. “Uhh, Screenstuff?” You asked. “Entertainment website. Marcie’s their main movie reporter and she’s… not the brightest” Joe explained. “Has a really obvious thing for Ben too.” You were confused. “Is… is that a bad thing?” “It is when I’m trying to promote a project and my body is all they ask about” Ben clarified. “Apparently she got all miffed when I didn’t turn up today, said half her questions were for me” he told Joe. Joe whistled. “Bet that went down well.” A sudden thought occurred to you. “You didn’t tell them where you were, did you?” you asked frantically. “Only the other cast members, and they didn’t tell anyone” he assured you. “They just told the reporters I was sick, no one’s going to work it out, don’t worry.” You were very relieved, seeing as no-one outside your immediate circle knew the babies had arrived yet, and you wanted to keep it that way at least until they were out of hospital. 

Finally, the big day arrived. The twins were finally released from hospital after six days in NICU. Joe was a bundle of nervous excitement as he very carefully placed them in their carseats and drove you all home. The excitement seemed to win out for most of the day, until you put both babies down for an afternoon nap. As you sank gratefully onto the couch, you noticed Joe staring into space with a rather stricken expression. “What’s up, love?” “It just hit me a minute ago…” he mumbled. “What just hit you?” You had a hunch about what was bothering him, but you wanted to hear him say it. “I just realised I’m now responsible for two whole human beings for the rest of my life, and I’m freaked out” he told you. “Like, I’m super happy that they’re here and they’re healthy and they’re ours, but…” You smiled gently. “I know you are, dear, I am too.” Joe suddenly looked at you with confusion. “Wait, why aren’t you freaking out right now?” “Been here before,” you said airily, “I’m still a little freaked out, I just knew it was coming.” You paused. “Plus, it’s less scary this time” you added. “It’s not so new and different, and I’ve got you.” Joe smiled at that. “Indeed you do. You’re not slightly terrified by having two though?” You waved a hand. “We’ll manage. There’s two of them, but there’s two of us too.”

Joe was slightly startled the following afternoon when he picked up his phone and realised he hadn’t even looked at Instagram in nearly a week. “It’s so weird” he muttered, scrolling through everything he’d missed. You wondered what he’d seen. “What’s weird?” “It feels like my whole world’s… shifted since I got home, but on Instagram everything seems exactly the same” he explained. “Even my Insta looks like I’ve just been hanging out with Ben all week, but I’ve barely seen him.” “Everyone knows Insta’s mostly not real life” you reassured him. “Yeah,” Joe agreed, “but this is such a huge thing in my life and it’s not there at all.” “Well, if you wanna announce it, feel free. We’ve told all our friends and families now anyway” you pointed out. Joe grinned excitedly. “You’re ready to tell the world about them?” “Absolutely.”

Joe agonised over his baby announcement post. In the end he picked a picture you’d taken of him with the twins dozing on his chest. He posted it with a lengthy caption: ‘So this week I was supposed to be relaxing with Ben… Instead I spent most of it at the hospital since these guys decided to make their entrance last Saturday, five weeks early. Everyone’s healthy, they just needed a bit of time to adjust to life earthside. Anyway, meet my new favourite people: Joseph Francis IV (but we’re calling him Joey) and Amber Mercury (she’s in the dino onesie) Mazzello. Also my wife is amazing and I love her so much more than I can ever express.’ Gwilym very quickly commented ‘So incredibly happy for all of you. Can’t wait to get over and meet these cuties!’ Lucy just posted a line of heart eyes emojis. Later on Brian left a lengthy note. ‘Delighted to hear these two arrived safe and healthy, if a bit ahead of schedule. Hopefully everyone’s adjusting well to their new roles. Huge congratulations and warmest wishes to you all. Bri’. Even Ben eventually chimed in: ‘They’ve stolen my man but they’re so cute I’m not even mad.’    

The next day you got a rude shock, when you realised that despite the lavishly decorated tree in your lounge room you and Joe had entirely forgotten Christmas was nearly upon you. By the time you remembered it was only a week away. “There’s so much to do” you fretted to Joe. “We’ve got to wrap everything and do cards and… shit, two of our kids don’t even have any presents yet.” “They’re a week old, I don’t think they’re gonna care” your husband tried to reassure you. It didn’t help. “But it’s their first Christmas, they’ve got to have something” you insisted. Joe smiled reassuringly. “Well in that case, I’d better go shopping tomorrow” he declared, kissing you gently.

Joe went out alone the next day. But he had a surprise for you. “You were worried about getting everything sorted in time, so I’ve called in reinforcements” he told you as he was leaving. You quirked an eyebrow. “Reinforcements?” “Lucy’s coming over later to help you out” he explained. It wasn’t the solution you’d been expecting, but it turned out to be a good one. With Lucy’s help you made surprisingly quick work of your to-do list, and by the time Joe got home the house was tastefully decorated and there was a small pile neatly wrapped presents under the tree. She even helped Tallulah bake and ice some Christmas biscuits for you all. Her reward was some time spent cooing over your sleepy newborns. “They’re beautiful, lovie!” All in all, everyone ended the day satisfied. 

Christmas Day was fairly peaceful in the end. You enjoyed a relaxing morning opening gifts at home ahead of Christmas dinner with Joe’s family. You and Joe had agreed not to go overboard on presents this year, knowing you’d have a lot of other things going on at Christmastime. But Joe did manage to sneak in a small surprise for you. “From Joey and Amber” he said, handing over one last parcel with a soft smile. You delicately undid the wrapping to uncover a framed copy of the picture Ben had taken of the five of you in hospital the day the twins were born. “Oh, it’s lovely!” you gushed, leaning over to hug Joe. “Thank you.” “Don’t thank me, they got it for you” he replied, grinning. You smiled. “You must have helped though.” “That I did” Joe agreed. “Well thank you for helping them” you told him, leaning in for a chaste kiss. “You’re the best.”

Joe’s family were very excited about meeting the twins, of course, but Tallulah had a lot of fun too, playing with her cousins and generally enjoying all the little treats of the day. You were glad to see her having fun; you’d been worried she might end up feeling a bit left out in all the fuss over her new siblings. She was very disappointed when you had to leave soon after the meal to get the babies home before their bedtime but she seemed happy enough to spend the rest of the evening watching movies and enjoying her presents.

Your family spent Boxing Day largely doing as little as possible. As always everyone was a bit flat after the excitement of Christmas Day. Except for Tallulah, who was very much looking forward to seeing Roger the next day. He arrived in the afternoon, and came to your house almost immediately to take Tallulah out for afternoon tea. You could tell by the way she was beaming when they returned that she had enjoyed the individual attention. Her expression seemed to highlight her resemblance to her father. Roger was slightly startled when he noticed. “Gosh, I’d never realised how much she takes after me.” “She looks more like you every day lately” you told him. “She’s grown up so much since I saw her last” Roger mused. “Well she is a big sister now” you pointed out. He smiled. “Ah yes. How’s she going with that, by the way?” “Very well, actually” you replied. “I was expecting her to be a bit jealous, but so far she just adores the twins. She loves holding them. Even got them Christmas presents.” Roger smiled with pride. “Well that’s good to hear. Hopefully the adoration continues.” You weren’t convinced it would but you still smiled. “Yeah, hopefully.” 

Roger had booked into a hotel, but he still stayed at your house until well past dinnertime every day of his visit. Tallulah was clearly very appreciative of the time with her father, even if she didn’t say it out loud. The days of Roger’s trip sped by, and suddenly it was New Year’s Eve, again. The day held many happy memories for you, but this year was going to be very different. Joe had called off his traditional party, knowing none of you had the energy for a late night. Instead, you were having a sort of open house afternoon to give all your friends an opportunity to meet Joey and Amber at a time that was easy for your family. Adjusting to looking after twin newborns was exhausting enough without trying to find the energy to organise visits every other day. Of course a few of your close friends had dropped in already, but they were a select group amongst your wider acquaintance.

You were amazed at just how many people showed up to meet the twins and have some lunch with you. Even Gwilym made an appearance. “Surprise!” he declared, grinning widely. “I had some time off, and I’ve been dying to see you all, so here I am.” He was amazed when he got his first glimpse of the twins. “Christ, I thought Ben was exaggerating when he told me how tiny they were.” “Would you believe they’ve already grown since Ben saw them?” Joe asked, beaming with pride. To be fair, they did still look ridiculously small in Gwilym’s arms. “They’re not that tiny now, are they?” Joe asked you in an undertone, as you both watched Gwilym enjoying his first cuddles. You smiled reassuringly. “They’re still a bit on the small side. But Gwil is also a bloody tree of a man, he’s making them look even smaller.” Joe laughed at that. 

Gwilym stayed all afternoon, helping here and there and generally enjoying some rare time with Joe. His relaxed mood seemed to have spread throughout your house that day, though the energy lifted considerably when Rami and Lucy finally arrived. Naturally Gwilym was thrilled to see them both, and they spent a long time lounging on your couches catching up. People gradually started to leave as the afternoon wore on, and eventually they were the only guests left other than Roger. Lucy smiled when she noticed this.

“Now that we’re alone, lovies, we’ve got something for you” she declared. Rami gently handed over a bulging gift bag. “Christmas presents. From all of us” he said softly. You started to protest but he waved it away. “Just open them. There’s something for all of you in there.” Indeed there was. The bag held a number of packages, each containing part of a matching set of red baseball shirts, made to look like the D-backs uniform from Undrafted. Yours and Tallulah’s had your surname on the back; the others were labelled Mazzello. Two of these were very small, although closer to toddler than newborn size. Rami looked apologetic. “That was the smallest we could get.” “Rami, they’re perfect” you reassured him. “They really are” Joe chimed in, sounding rather emotional. “Thanks man.” Lucy smiled. “I told him the important thing was that they matched.” You glanced at Joe, wondering why he was so incredibly touched by the gift. “You’re all on my team” he explained, before you could even open your mouth to speak. “You’re my family, even if you don’t all have my name, you’re all mine.” You smiled. “Honey, of course we’re yours. We’re your team.”    

You were still cuddling Joe when Roger suddenly appeared next to you carrying a couple of parcels. “I brought you a little something too” he said sheepishly. “The top one’s from Brian, by the way.” Joe looked surprised. “Brian sent us a baby gift?” Roger smiled. “Of course. That’s what friends do, you know.” Brian had given the twins a stuffed badger and a fluffy hedgehog. “Just a little reminder of their roots” the card said. You and Joe both laughed. “Brian and his hedgehogs. Typical.” Roger’s parcel contained a pair of onesies. One had a photo of John Deacon printed on the front, while the other featured Freddie Mercury. “I heard her middle name and I just couldn’t resist” he said, grinning mischievously. Joe grinned back. “Thanks Roger, they’re perfect.”

Midnight on New Year’s Eve. In years past you’d enjoyed the ritual of sitting up to watch the fireworks, or going out somewhere in search of a New Year’s kiss. This year, though, all you really wanted was to get some sleep. But of course the twins had other ideas. In the end, midnight found you and Joe sat together on the rocking chair, each soothing a baby back to sleep. Joe’s loving gaze suddenly shifted from his children to you. "Thank you" he said softly. "For what?" you asked. "I always wanted a wife, and kids, but before I met you I was starting to wonder if it would ever happen for me" he explained. "And now you've given me both in a single year." "I suppose I have" you mused. "So, thank you. For giving me everything I've dreamed of" Joe said, kissing you gently. "I love you so, so much." You smiled back. "I love you too, babe." You were both quiet as you tenderly set the twins back in their cribs. “It’s been a good year, hasn’t it?” you mused, as you and Joe returned to your bedroom. “It’s gonna be a hard one to top” Joe agreed. “It’s been magnificent.” And the best part was, it was only the beginning.

*******************************************************************************************

A/N 2: This is really the end for these guys now, and I’m a little bit sad about that. I’ve got one Tallulah oneshot I want to finish (there’s lots of Freddie in it, it’s a lot of fun) and then I’m going to take a break from this universe (for now anyway) and work on my ‘possible Freddie Mercury descendant’ story. At this point I’m planning on keeping it as a oneshot, but I’ll see how I go. Hopefully it doesn’t take as long as this one did!

Taglist: (send me an ask or dm if you want to be taken off) 

@wandering-at-midnight @fruityfreddie @trumanjo @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @itsametaphorbriansblog @theedwardscollection @bookish-oreo @simplyvictoria-93 @kotoamor @j1224 @closertothesunwhenimwithyou @florenceivy @jennyggggrrr 

(line through means the tag didn’t work)

[imissthefire]

Kierarktina Kids Headcanons pt 2

You can find Part 1 of my Kierarktina kiddo HCs here

·         So in my last post, I didn’t give the baby a name because I was torn between a bunch, and also was unsure of what name would fit her best

·         They decided to name her Thalia, but they call her Lia for short

 ·         They also give her a Faerie name, even though it doesn’t hold any power over her

 ·         Her faerie name is Tallulah (which means jumping waters, or river, and is a slight nod to Kieran’s nixie heritage)

 ·         Anyway, she’s now three, and starting to look more and more like her (biological) father

 ·         When she was born, her ears were relatively rounded with only tiny indication of being pointed, but now they’re full on pointy and adorable

 ·         She refers to both Mark and Kieran as “daddy”, but sometimes refers to Mark as “papa” to differentiate

 ·         One day when Mark and Cristina are out doing work with the Alliance, they decide she can tag along with them because it’s small work and they’re missing Kieran because all three of them have been so submerged in their work

 ·         So, in the middle of a meeting little Lia’s just hanging out, sitting on Mark’s lap and idly playing with a fidget toy that her uncle Ty gave her for her birthday

 ·         It has all different parts on it that she can chew on, or spin, and even buttons that make different clicking noises

 ·         She’s just enjoying herself and then she hears someone at the table mention the idea of sending a team to Unseelie to investigate a Seelie knight that’s been taken

 ·         She looks up to Mark and asks if she can go, because she “wants to go see daddy”

 ·         He and Cristina smile at her, sadly saying that it’s an adult mission, but she will be able to go with them to see Kieran another time

 ·         She gets frustrated by this, and her hair flairs a bright green, before returning to its usual black

 ·         Cristina and Mark are stunned but this, they had only seen this happen once when she was only a few months old, but they thought it may have just been a trick of the light, or something she quickly grew out of

 ·         They also hadn’t really thought she had inherited many traits from Kieran aside from her looks, but now this opens up the possibility of having other fae magic

 ·         It was so wholesome for them, and everyone else at the meeting just stared at her, some a little bit freaked out by it

 ·         It wasn’t a new thing for them to bring her with them, but this was the first time she showed that she had inherited any powers from Kieran

 ·         Skip ahead a few weeks, and Cristina has to head on a mission for the Alliance, and can’t bring their kid, so obvs she leaves Lia with Mark

 ·         Mark was so sure he would know how to take care of her, he’d been doing it for two years and this wasn’t the first time he was left alone with her

 ·         But it was the longest, and one day she said that she “missed mommy, and daddy” and Mark just looked and said “me too”

 ·         So, in an attempt to distract themselves from feeling lonely, they decide to make an impromptu trip to the cabin

 ·         Since Tina’s away, they don’t have the Eternidad for smooth travel, so they decided it would be totally fine to try and portal there

 ·         Lia’s only ever travelled by portal a few times, Mark carries her, just to make sure there’s no off chance of a mishap of them being separated

 ·         When the step through, they can only get as far as the forest that surrounds the cabin

 ·         Their entry to the Unseelie land so suddenly sets off some warning alarms, and before they know it, they’re surrounded by redcap guards

 ·         Lia just wraps her arms tighter around Mark’s neck, staring at all the guards

 ·         The guards recognise them, but they still alert Kieran that there is a visitor for him and have him greet him at the edge of the forest before they even consider letting them pass

 ·         When Kieran comes out, Lia smiles, her hair flaring up bright green again, and reaches her arms out to Kieran, “daddy!” she exclaims, a huge smile on her face

·         Kieran walks over and takes her from Mark, kissing her forehead, ruffling her hair before making his flash a blue-green

 ·         The guards are sort of still standing there, weapons not yet drawn, but hands on hilts, still surrounding them

 ·         Kieran looks at the guards with an incredulous look

 ·         “This is my child,” he’s dumbfounded that they made such a big deal about their arrival

 ·         He gestures to Mark next, “and my partner whom you all should have been aquatinted with before”

 ·         The guards look down as awkwardly as fearsome warrior fae can, letting Mark and Lia pass through to Kieran

 ·         They get to the cottage, and the first thing Lia does is ask to go sleep

 ·         Portal travel is exhausting and nauseating

 ·         Mark and Kieran tuck her in, Kieran brushing her hair back from her face, staring down lovingly at her

 ·         “She’s starting to look a lot like you, you know,” Mark comments

 ·         “When did her hair start doing that?” Kieran had a sort of sad look on his face

 ·         “Only recently, it happened three weeks ago during a meeting,” Mark had said

 ·         He hated missing milestones for their kid

 ·         He missed a fair amount of her firsts

 ·         Luckily though, he had been there for her first word

 ·         They had been trying to teach her colours and letters and numbers, but nothing really stuck

 ·         Until one day when Kieran was playing with her, he was flaring his hair all colours of the sea, letting her play with it as he did

 ·         Out of nowhere, she just said “blue” while watching it go from black to blue to green and back

·         It went to a very pale blue when she said it, but that wasn’t voluntary, he was just super happy and excited

 ·         All three parents lowkey cried a little because it was so cute

 ·         Anyway, back to Kieran, Mark, and Lia at the cottage

·         So little Lia is put to bed, and Mark and Kieran are just kind of chilling, sitting out in the living room area by the fire

·         They talk about the Alliance, the courts, catching up with each other as it had been almost two weeks since they had seen each other

·         They talk about Lia, about how big she’s getting every day, all the changes

·         Mark brings up the idea of more kids, and Kieran stops him

·         “We cannot discuss this, not without having Cristina here,”

·         “I know, of course, but just the idea of another…”

·         Mark and Kieran reluctantly talk for a tiny bit about the idea of a kid before Lia wanders out, a blanket draped around her shoulders

·         “I want a baby too,” she adds in, coming to sit between her dads

·         They smile at her, her bright brown eyes just like her mother’s, radiating such love and warmth

·         Skip ahead a few days later, and Cristina arrives at the cottage, tired af from the mission she was on

·         Lia runs up to her and is all like “daddy and papa said we should have another baby!”

·         Cristina goes wide eyed and looks at Mark and Kieran, both of whom are just looking at Lia with an expression of “oh god why”

·         They can’t be mad at her though, she’s too sweet and is just saying what’s on her mind

·         Cristina smirks, “oh, is that so?”

·         Mark nods awkwardly, a half smile on his face

·         Kieran bows his head, “if it is not what you wish, we will cease any conversation of the matter, my Lady of Roses”

·         Lia just kind of watches her parents, laughing at the formality in Kieran’s tone as he addresses Tina

·         “You know what? I don’t think I’d be against another little one,” Cristina says, picking up little Lia

·         Later that night, when Lia is put to bed (she now has a little toddler bed in the other room in the cottage, though she often will sneak out of it and join her parents for cuddles) 

·         The three parents are enjoying just a soft wholesome night, Mark is in the middle (which has become a common occurrence as he is the last person to wake in the morning)

·         After some time of them just enjoying each other’s company, talking a bit more about another baby, Mark sheepishly asks, “do you think that…” but he trails off, too embarrassed to ask

 ·         Both Kieran and Cristina give him this look that encourages him to go on,

 ·         “Maybe this time…” he keeps trailing off

 ·         “Mark, speak your mind, you are at no judgement between the three of us,” Kieran says, trying to coax the question out

 ·         “Do you think I could be the father for our next child?” he spits out the question quickly, his face donning an unusual look of worry

 ·         Cristina gives him a sort of sad look, not because she doesn’t want that, but because she didn’t really consider much that Mark might not feel as connected to Lia because they aren’t biologically related.

 ·         “You know you’re Thalia’s father just as much as Kieran is, Mark”

 ·         “I know, but I just…” he’s at a loss for words, he feels bad for asking, but he still feels as though there’s more to experience being biological parent

 ·         Kieran leans over, resting his chin on Mark’s shoulder, his eyes understanding, “if it’s any consolation, I feel as though it would be lovely to see a little one much who bears resemblance to you as Thalia does to myself,”

 ·         Cristina smiles at this, seeing them both so fully immersed in the idea of a tiny Mark-lookalike

 ·         Mark looks over to Cristina, “would you be okay if we did it this way?”

 ·         She smiles at him, cuddling herself up closer to him, “I wouldn’t mind that, of course not,”

 ·         By the end of that night, they agree: her and Mark will start trying for a baby soon

 ·         As they all lull off to sleep, there’s a scream from the other room

 ·         Everyone is immediately alert, Kieran on his feet and already moving to the door

 ·         Mark follows him, and so does Cristina, the latter two standing in the doorway watching Kieran sit at the edge of Thalia’s bed, holding her to him tightly

 ·         When she notices her other parents in the room, she reaches out an arm, asking them to come over with the gesture

 ·         The four of them sit on the tiny bed together, listening to Lia tell them about a bad dream where a big scary thing came and took her daddies away from her and her mommy

 ·         They bring her with them back to their room, Thalia going to lay between her two dads, holding on to each of their hands, telling them to not go away as she falls back asleep

 ·         It breaks their hearts a tiny bit, just the idea that she may even have seen a shred of truth in the nightmare she had

 ·         But they hold together, wrapping themselves around their daughter, protecting her from all the evils that they can

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 8/13/21 - CODA, FREE GUY, DON’T BREATHE 2, RESPECT, THE LOST LEONARDO, WHAT IF, and More!

Well, that was kind of a disappointing last weekend as James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad pretty much tanked at the box office, making less than Birds of Prey did back in February 2020 with all sorts of backseat analysis explaining why it didn’t do well as anyone, other than a scant, few thought. I mean, I’m still kind of stunned, even though COVID and the Delta variant seem to be losing steam as far as being news. It certainly didn’t help that HBO Max decided to release the movie concurrently on HBO Max on Thursday at 7pm.

The nice thing about this week is that we have three new movies, none of which are on streaming or On Demand at the exact same time, so if you want to see any of them, you’ll have to put on your N96 masks and get yourself to theaters. Two of the three movies are originals, while the third is a sequel to quite an original horror movie from about five years back. All of them are pretty good, actually. We’ll get to them soon...

But first, let’s start with this week’s “The Chosen One” and it’s gotta be Siân Heder’s CODA i.e. “Child of Deaf Adults,” which will play in select theaters and on Apple TV+ starting Friday. If you hadn’t heard, it was the belle of the ball at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, winning the Jury Prize and Audience Award alike. Heder previously directed Tallulah and is the showrunner on Apple’s Little America, but this really is a very special film that I’ve enjoyed on repeat viewings now.

It stars Emilia Jones as Ruby Rossi, the sole hearing person in her family of Gloucester fishermen, who are out every day on the sea making the latest catch in their nets. Ruby has other aspirations, and when she joins the school choir, the teacher, Mr. Villalobos (Eugene Derbez) sees talent in Ruby that he thinks might get her into the Berklee College of Music. Ruby has to weigh that with her family’s need to have her as an interpreter while dealing with the other fishermen of the town.

I didn’t know what to expect when I saw this at Sundance back in January, and it still surprised me when I rewatched it again, because it’s a movie that involves a lot of elements that shouldn’t necessarily work, between the fishing and the singing and all the ASL between the amazing ingenue, Ms. Jones, and the deaf actors playing her family, including the one and only Oscar-winning Marlee Matlin. If not for these disparate elements, Coda might be a fairly standard indie family drama, but Heder finds just the right balance of showing how these disparities in Ruby’s life make it hard for her to pursue her dreams.

Ferdia Walsh-Peelo from Sing Street plays the classmate who Ruby is set up with to perform a duet at their high school recital, and of course, he also becomes an unwitting love interest. Unfortunately that’s the aspect of the film that’s the weakest, because Jones’ scenes with Matlin and the other actors, including Derbez, as well as Troy Kotsur and Daniel Durant, as Ruby’s father and brother, are just so powerful and moving even if they’re all in ASL with no dialogue or even incidental score.

Coda is Heder’s second film after Talllulah, a movie starring Elliot Page that never really connected with me, but Coda is such a strong and exceedingly crowd-pleasing film that I have to imagine that this would connect with everybody. I’m not sure if Apple’s gonna be able to get this movie all the way to Oscar night, but I do like its chances for Adapted (?) Screenplay, and maybe Matlin and Kotsur Supporting? I don’t know, because it’s so early and hard to tell, but hopefully the decision to wait so long after the virtual Sundance won’t hurt this movie as it hurt other Sundance award-winning films. Coda is just a joy that I’m sure will be many people’s favorite movie.

You can read my interview with Ms. Heder over at Below the Line.

Incidentally, in last week’s column, I talked about the 20th New York Asian Film Festival, but I didn’t realize that it was only running at Film at Lincoln Center for a week before going down to the SVA Theater on 23rd Street, and you can check out the schedule of movies playing there at the official site. And of course, there’s still the Virtual Festival that’s running through August 22. Also, Fantasia is still going on in Montreal, and I still haven’t had time to watch very much. What can I say? I suck.

Let’s get to some wide releases, shall we?

First up and probably the most likely to win the weekend is Ryan Reynolds’ new action-comedy, FREE GUY (20th Century Studios), directed by Shawn Levy and co-starring Jodie Comer from Killing Eve. The high-concept comedy has Reynolds playing Guy, a bank teller, who actually is a non-player character in a video game called “Free City” that’s kind of a cross between Grand Theft Auto and Fortnite. When he meets Comer’s character in the game, he falls mady in love and decides to do whatever it takes to get on her level. (Get it?) In doing so, Guy ends up becoming a hero for Free City, as well as a viral sensation across the globe as gamers thrill to Guy’s adventures.

Free Guy is Ryan Reynolds’ first live-action starring role theatrical release since…. Oh…. the action-comedy sequel The Hitman’s Bodyguard’s Wife a little under two months ago. Considering that barely made half of what its predecessor did, and that’s with Reynolds sharing the screen with Samuel L. Jackson and Salma Hayek, one wonders if his draw as an A-lister can be maintained during a pandemic. Before that, you’d have to go all the way back to 2018’s Deadpool 2 for a fully live Reynolds movie, because he wasn’t seen as himself for most of his role in and as Detective Pikachu. Of course, Reynolds’ unmistakable voice was back in DreamWorks Animation’s The Croods: A New Age, the sequel to the 2013 blockbuster that made the ballsy move to be one of the first movies to open during the pandemic. It grossed $58.6 million in theaters, which was slightly more than Christopher Nolan’s Tenet and even more than the Warner Bros. sequel, Wonder Woman 1984.

This is also a big movie for Jodie Comer, who won an Emmy and was nominated for two Golden Globes for Killing Eve, but hasn’t really been in too many movies, other than playing Rey’s Mum in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Later this year, she’ll star in Ridley Scott’s The Last Duel and may possibly be back in the awards game again, we’ll see. The movie also stars Lil Rel Howery, who seems to be everywhere and in everything these days, as well as Taika Waititi who is super-hot right now due to 2019’s Jojo Rabbit, and his various television projects, as well as having a small role in James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad last week.

In some ways, Free Guy is gonna be a test for a lot of things, the first one being whether Reynolds is a big enough draw when not playing Deadpool to get people into theaters, just as people are starting to get skittish again about going into movie theaters. More importantly, it will show whether not having a movie on streaming or VOD means that people who want to see it will put aside their fears and return to theaters… like they did with F9 and Black Widow and Godzilla vs. Kong. Is an original non-franchise movie like Free Guy enough to get people interested in getting their butts off the couch and into a far more comfortable movie theater seat? (I’m being facetious, if you didn’t guess.)

After The Suicide Squad last week, I’m really not sure whether I can trust my own instincts, but I also don’t want to lower my prediction to something ridiculous out of fear that the pandemic really is destroying any chance of the box office fully recovering. One thing working in Free Guy’s favor, besides its PG-13 rating is that it’s not available on streaming and VOD. Anyone who has been intrigued by the film’s great reviews will HAVE to go out to a movie theater to see it or else, they’ll have to wait 45 days.

Maybe if this opened last month, I could see it open in the $30 million to $40 million range, but with things being the way they are, I’d probably go with high $20 million, so close to $30 million but not quite.

You can read my review over at Below the Line, and I’ll have an interview with the film’s Production Designer, Ethan Tobman, fairly soon.

Also opening Friday is the horror sequel DON’T BREATHE 2 (Sony/Screen Gems), starring Stephen Lang as the blind former Navy Seal who terrorized a bunch of kids who broke into his house in 2016’s Don’t Breathe.

The original movie, which starred Jane Levy, reuniting with director Fede Alvarez after the two remade Evil Dead for producer Sam Raimi, opened in late August, on the fourth weekend of the original Suicide Squad, in fact, and it knocked the movie out of the #1 spot. Its $26 million opening in 3,000 theaters was impressive for the time, partially because late August has never been great. It stayed #1 for a second weekend, over Labor Day, and it ended up grossing $89.2 million in North America, which is great for an R-rated horror film.

Levy isn’t around for the sequel and Alvarez has moved into a co-writer/producer role for his creative partner, Rodo Sagayes, to take over the directing reins, but honestly, I’m not sure how many people will know or care, because Lang’s character and the film’s violence and chills are it’s real selling point. Like many horror movies, there isn’t much in terms of star power other than Lang, but that has never really hindered the success of a horror movie in the past.

As with every movie I cover in this column, there’s the pandemic in the room and whether that might hold people back from going to theaters. I wish there was a way to calculate the effect that’s had on moviegoing, because it seems to affect movies differently. For instance, the recent The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It was able to open with $24.1 million just two months ago, although that was down from the $40 million of the previous two chapters. So that’s about a 40% drop-off in a similar five-year gap between movies. (Actually, it’s kind of strange that 2021 is replicating 2021 with three sequels to movies from five years earlier.) There’s no denying that the number of Covid cases are way up since June and movie theaters are still being painted as the “enemy” even though no significant cases have been traced back to the movies.

We also have to look at Sony’s last horror sequel, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions, which I quite enjoyed, but it ended up opening with about $10 million less than the original movie a few years back. We can probably expect Don’t Breathe 2 to have a similar pandemic drop-off even if it’s another movie that won’t be on streaming or VOD this weekend.

I think Don’t Breathe 2 should be good for around $15 million this weekend since it’s catering towards a young audience that’s a bit more devil-may-care about going out to theaters. It will also probably appeal more to older single guys than something like Free Guy, which seems different enough to pull in a different audience.

My review will be posted over at Below the Line later on Thursday, plus I have a bunch of interviews coming, including this one with Rodo Sayagues and Fede Alvarez.

Next up is RESPECT (MGM), the long-awaited Aretha Franklin biopic (for those that didn’t see Genius, like me, I guess), starring Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson as the Queen of Soul. The movie directed by Liesl Tommmy was supposed to be released in January to take part in last year’s Oscars race, but I guess MGM wanted to make sure it got a proper theatrical release, which wasn’t possible since NYC and L.A. movie theaters didn’t reopen until March after the cut-off. But MGM had already decided to push the movie back to the summer in hopes of having more theaters able to play the movie, which is kind of true now?

It’s been a while since we’ve seen JHud in a high-profile theatrical release, and unfortunately, the last one was 2019’s Cats, a movie in which she probably was the best thing, although it still only grossed $27 million domestically, a flat-out bomb. Before that, she provided her voice for the animated blockbuster Sing in 2016, and then a bunch of smaller movies before that. She’s joined in the movie by the likes of Oscar winner Forest Whitaker, Marlon Wayans, Titus Burgess, Mary J. Blige, Marc Maron, and Audra MacDonald, quite an impressive array of talent that shows how many wanted to be involved with this project. Director Liesl Tommy is making her feature directorial debut after directing a ton of theater and TV shows like The Walking Dead and Jessica Jones.

Even so, it’s obviously that the ongoing popularity of Aretha Franklin, especially since her death in 2018, is going to go a long way into getting people into theaters, which includes a lot of older black women who really haven’t had much to get them out into theaters in recent months. Will this be enough?

Before Respect was delayed from its original January release, many thought that Hudson would receive another Oscar nomination for her performances. Having not seen the movie at the time of this writing, I can’t confirm or deny those chances. If that’s still the case, then releasing the movie towards the end of the summer (similar to The Help, successfully, and The Butler, not so much) is an odd decision rather than just holding the movie for festival season by holding until next month.

Either way, I think the love Aretha’s fans have for the Queen of Soul as well as Hudson’s fans, Respect should be good for between $8 and 10 million this weekend -- hard to pinpoint exactly without knowing how many theaters MGM is getting for it against the stronger summer movies.

Mini-Review: I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Respect, even after seeing the trailer a couple dozen times in front of other movies, but it’s a respectable biopic that cover 20 years in the life of the Queen of Soul from singing at a young age in her father’s church to returning to church for the gospel records as captured in the recently-released doc, Amazing Grace.

But first, we go back to 1952 where Aretha is a young girl (played by Skye Dakota Turner) is uncertain of her future as she’s being ordered about by her preacher father (Forrest Whitaker) and trying to find direction. The movie casually sets up the fact that young Aretha was sexually abused by a family friend, and maybe she got pregnant, too? It’s hard to tell and maybe a little odd since she would only have been 10 at the time, but it’s something that will be brought up (just as subtly) over the course of the film.

Jennifer Hudson takes over as Aretha as she turns 19 and goes to New York City to start recording, meets Marlon Wayans’ Ted White, makes him her manager and marries her, which basically has her going from one abusive man in her father to another one. It feels like the movie spends a long than normal time on the ‘60s, which is when Franklin’s career really took off with “Respect” and then a series of hits that took her all around the world. That whole time, she’s dealing with Ted’s abuses and jealousy while trying to write and record those hits, before her dark demons return and she starts drinking heavily.

As you might imagine, you go to see Respect to see how well Jennifer Hudson pulls off the Queen of Soul, and she’s an incredibly complex character that needs a nuanced performance, which Hudson tries to pull off by bringing different aspects of her life into different scenes.

There are some scenes that don’t work as well as others, and it feels like there’s a bit of time-crunching or futzing around so that at a certain point, her father seems to be de-aging, although I was just as impressed (possibly even moreso) with Forrest Whitaker, whose performance as Aretha’s father is more than just a full-on villain despite his violent treatment of his daughter. Wayans is also good and almost unrecognizable at first, and there are a few other nice performances in there as well, including Marc Maron as record label head Jerry Wexler.

But the performances Hudson gives as Franklin are goosebump-inducing, leading up to the recording of her record-selling gospel record as depicted in the aforementioned doc.

A fairly decent representation of Franklin’s little-known life leading up to her fame, Respect probably succeeds the most when Jennifer Hudson is performing as the Queen of Soul, but she’s also created a fairly moving portrait with strong dramatic moments that far outweigh any of the film’s issues. Rating: 8/10

With that in mind, this is how I see the weekend looking with two of the new movies bumping Suicide Squad down to third place where it will be facing off against Respect.

1. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $28.5 million N/A

2. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $15 million N/A

3. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $10 million -62%

4. Respect (MGM) - $9.6 million N/A

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $8.7 million -55%

6. Old (Universal) - $2.5 million -36%

7. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $2.4 million -39%

8. Stillwater (Focus) - $2 million -39%

9. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -43%

10. The Green Knight (A24) - $1.1 million -56%

Donnie Yen stars in Bennie Chang’s RAGING FIRE (WELL GO USA), which premiered at the New York Asian Film Festival on Monday and at Fantasia in Montreal on Tuesday, and I’m not going to review this, because honestly, it’s such a cookie-cutter Hong Kong police action-thriller that I’m not sure I really have much to say about it, so I won’t.

On the other hand, I do have more to say about Andreas Koefoed’s documentary, THE LOST LEONARDO (Sony Pictures Classics), the Leonardo being Da Vinci, the master artist behind the Mona Lisa and many other works. Since I don’t really follow the world of art, I really didn’t know about the Salvator Mundi painting found about 10-12 years ago that was thought to be an original Da Vinci worth in the hundreds of millions, often dubbed “The Male Mona Lisa.” But it’s also a painting that was surrounded by controversy due to the 5-year restoring job that may have left very little of the original painting.

As the film began, I was groaning a little about sitting through another movie of art experts and historians talking about how important a find this is and why it’s either great or horrible, depending on who is being interviewed. Eventually, the film gets more interesting as it starts getting into the idea of selling it. After being sold to a wealthy Russian oligarch by an unscrupulous Swiss art dealer who made a nice profit on it, the painting ends up being auctioned by Christie’s, and the story just keeps getting more and more interesting as it goes along.

While I’m not one to go ga-ga over any painting by Da Vinci or otherwise, I do like a good mystery or suspense-thriller, so good on Koefoed for realizing about halfway through this movie that the talking heads will never be as interesting as actual footage. And that’s what happens here, too. I actually feel a little ignorant that I wasn’t aware this was going on as it was, maybe because I don’t really follow the art world in that respect. Maybe I just missed it, so it’s good that Sony Classics (who loves making movies about art) is giving this a fairly high-profile release following its premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival a few months back. In that sense, The Lost Leonardo is quite a gem.

Heinz Brinkman’s USEDOM: A CLEAR VIEW OF THE SEA (Big World Pictures) is a somewhat intriguing doc about the Baltic island of Usedom, the location of a number of imperial German health resorts, beaches and such, and how the Jews were kicked out by the Nazis before Usedom was split into a German and Polish half after WWII. I wish I could get into this more, but I just have a limited mental capacity for a lot of German talking heads.

Which brings us to Michael Tucker and Petra Epperlein’s THE MEANING OF HITLER (IFC Films), the new doc from the team behind Gunner Palace, which looks at the cultural fascination with Hitler and Nazism and the recent rise in white supremacy, antisemitism and the “weaponization of history itself.” I don’t know what that last part means, because I got so swamped this week that I didn’t get to watch this, and like another recent doc on the subject of Naziism and the Holocaust, I just couldn’t get into the right head space to hit play on this doc. Maybe I’ll watch it sometime down the road.

Similarly, I didn’t get around to watching Dutch filmmaker Jim Taihuttu’s THE EAST (Magnet Releasing), which I may like as a fan of Paul Verhoeven’s Dutch WWII films, and I probably should give this a look, but I just ran out of time this week. It’s about a young Dutch soldier who joins an elite unit led by a mysterious captain called “The Turk,” and it takes place in the Indonesian War of Independence after World War II.

As far as TV goes, Wednesday sees the debut of Marvel Studios’ WHAT IF...? on Disney+. I’ve seen the first three episodes, and I was a pretty big fan of the comics in the ‘70s (sadly, part of the giant collection that I sold a few years back), and I guess this is okay. The first episode is the one with Haley Atwell voicing “Captain Carter” i.e. Peggy Carter gets the Super Soldier Serum, which is one of the more obvious What Ifs that could possibly done, so that we can get another “women are as good as men, and they need to be heard” storyline that’s in 90% of the Marvel movies already. On the other hand, the first episode does include the voices of Sebastian Stan and others, so it’s quite a coup in that sense, but whoever wrote it, clearly doesn’t understand that people spoke differently in the ‘40s. I liked the 2nd episode, a mash-up of Black Panther and Guardians of the Galaxy, which is a fun idea that brings together a lot of great characters -- including Chadwick Boseman’s last voice performance -- but again, hearing the voices just isn’t the same when the writing isn’t as good as the movie. I feel like the animation for the show is okay, maybe not quite on par with some of the great Batman or Superman cartoons we’ve gotten over the years. On the other hand, the entire series features the great voice of Jeffrey Wright as The Watcher, acting kind of like the Rod Serling for the series, much like the Watcher does in the comics. I also dug the music by Emmy winner Laura Karpman (Lovecraft Country), and I’ll watch the rest of the series as it debuts, but I’m not sure it’s as much a rush to see each episode to avoid spoilers as with Loki or WandaVision.

Hitting Netflix this week is the limited series, BRAND NEW CHERRY FLAVOR (Netflix), starring Rosa Salazar, Eric Lange, and Catherine Keener. The tagline is: “Lisa Nova (Rosa Salazar) comes to LA dead set on directing her first movie. But when she trusts the wrong person and gets stabbed in the back, everything goes sideways and a dream project turns into a nightmare. This particular nightmare has zombies, hit men, supernatural kittens, and a mysterious tattoo artist who likes to put curses on people. And Lisa’s going to have to figure out some secrets from her own past in order to get out alive.”

Also, TITANS Season 3 debuts on HBO Max, but since I haven’t watched seasons 1 or 2 yet, it might be some time before I get to it.

Next week looks like it could be a bit of a dog with four or five new wide releases but nothing that really jumps out, plus I’ll be in Atlantic City all next weekend, so who knows how much I’ll be able to watch or write about?

[post-futurism]

For the chariot ask: emperor, chariot, justice

in regards to this ask meme.

the emperor: what are some names that you like?Oh man, there are so many nice names. I really like freja, riley, finley, zale, zaphia, elsie, oliver, serafina, rushika, valerie… there aren’t many good boy names imo lol. also like, even though i’m not planning on having kids… these are the names i decided on before i decided on not having kids lol. i still think they have a nice ring to it.

Talulah Eirene. Tallulah (i like it better without the double L) is a yellow duck or bird or something in a series of kids books/tv show that i loved when i was a kid. … i think Tallulah is also the reason why i love tulips haha that’s her favourite flower. there’s also an actress called Talulah Riley, which i think is a fantastic name.With Eirene, it’s said eye-ree-knee (uGH i kNOW shh). It’s a loved childhood name from my favourite kids movie, The Princess and the Goblin. It’s actually spelled Irene but said eye-ree-knee. I’m hoping the E helps people from saying it old lady eye-reen HA

Briellen Luceil. I had a childhood family friend called Briellen who had blonde ringlets and a gorgeous smile. And Luceil was the name of my toy seal that i would take with me everywhere as a kid haha. loved that thing. 

the chariot: thoughts on astrology? I don’t put much weight to it, especially because i hardly ever connect with the pisces reading. i feel like, because it’s the last one, they just run out of ideas and no reading has ever resonated with me. For that reason, it is always amusing to read them. (i do wonder if any pisces ever feel the same way about lack of resonance.) also i think it’s weird that pisces is always known for being creative and mystic or whatever, when in reality, all artists aren’t collectively pisces lol. 

justice: favorite color of rose?Hmm i like pink best i think. the orange ones are nice too. 

[sabulana]

Fifteen Years of Fandom and Fanfiction

It has been fifteen years to the day since I posted my first fanfiction online. 

Which is kind of. Wow. 

Like really. Wow.

And now, because I get long and rambly at this point, the rest is under the read more

I never thought I would last this long. I was reading Final Fantasy 7 fic at the time, because that is one of my Forever Fandoms, my first real fandom, the one I can always return to and it just feels like home. 

I admit, I wasn’t very good. I was fifteen. I hadn’t attempted writing any fanfiction before. It wasn’t my first attempt at writing, but it was the first thing I ever shared with anyone. 

(The first thing I ever tried writing was a story about a talking hamster named Tallulah. It lacked any kind of plot structuring and I was basically just rambling on the page, but I loved it. Half of it is scrawled in pencil on wide-ruled pages, and the rest was typed on an old typewriter that everyone in the house could hear my using. My grandad used to stop in my room and ask when I was going to get published whenever he heard it.)

Anyway, this first fanfic I wrote is still up online. It’s still terrible. It’s short and badly written, and in the entire fifteen years it’s been up online, there have only been 524 hits recorded on Fanfiction.net and only 1 review, which was posted a couple years after the story went up online. 

The story can be found here.

What followed after was what every teenage girl writing fanfiction does: creating OCs! I had a couple fics with a bunch of different OCs (girls and guys, but mostly girls, and mostly they were all the same) and I was trying to write them all at once and .... yeah, none of it went well. I’ve taken those stories down now, but I still have the email alerts of all the reviews. (I still do this. Even if my stories vanish from the internet, I will always have the feedback I got. That’s how much it means to me.)

I have a folder in my Yahoo email with 859 emails of reviews, good and bad, and another 107 reviews in my gmail account. 

I remember people asking me questions about things they felt I should have included in the chapters, but that I was trying to wait to reveal until later. I remember being told there were too many characters to keep track of. I remember people being mean, and people trying to be helpful and people who liked it and encouraged me to keep at it.

I branched out into the Jak and Daxter fandom after that. More terrible writing, but my first attempts at romance, at ‘teh yaoi’, because it was 2004 and I was that kind of person. It’s embarrassing, but at least I know that now. (God. I’m so embarrassed by my past self. I feel I need to apologise for her constantly right now).

Jak and Daxter is another one of my home fandoms now. I made so many friends during the couple years I was so active in that fandom. I’ve lost track of most of the friends I made since. Some vanished altogether, some ventured into other fandoms and we grew apart, but I’ll never forget them. And of course, there’s my dearest @ecojak who I’m still friends will even now (love you bby!) and not to forget @pantlesswerewolf you were there too, right?

My experience of Jak and Daxter fandom was completely different to that I experienced in Final Fantasy 7 fandoms. For one, I had more contact with other writers. We had forums to talk on. We all reviewed each others fics and offered help and advice. There’s a chapter of what was one of my favourite J&D stories somewhere that’s dedicated to me as I was the mother-figure to all Jak/Torn writers, or something like that. I was 16 at the time, and I’m still incredibly touched by the gesture. 

I also got banned from FFN a couple times, first because they decided that one of my series should have been a multi-chapter fic when I hadn’t intended it to be that way at first. It was just going to be a couple of one-shots. Then there were more. And then I got banned. :/ The second time was because I wrote a songfic and didn’t take it down when FFN banned songfics. 

(Do people still do those? I have no idea. Oh well.)

Most of all though - I improved my writing. I kept at it. Even when people didn’t like what I was writing, other people did. More to the point, I enjoyed writing. I loved the games, and I wanted to show it by writing more stories, and sharing my love in that way.

I sort of faded out after a while though. I went on holiday for two weeks without internet, came back to find there had been some bullshit drama in my absence and... I don’t remember much of the rest,

I moved on.

I played new games, I read fanfiction in new fandoms. I contributed a bit. I stalled on writing fanfiction, but I was introduced to roleplaying on Livejournal. I’m still sad to have had to give that up, but I had a year of internet trouble and it just wasn’t possible to keep up. Now though, I don’t think I would throw myself into it again like I did before. It was a lot of fun, and it really helped me with things like character development and really getting into characters’ minds but it also consumed my free time completely. I did little else for years of my life.

But now I am an adult, and I must do Adult Things, like work and pay my mortgage and organise my wedding and shop for food because stocking the kitchen is now a thing I must do if I want to eat. (Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to wander into the kitchen and think ‘there’s nothing to eat’ in front of a fridge and cupboard full of ingredients I bought and then remember that I’m the moron who forgot to buy snacks? Ugh...)

But fandoms keep calling me. I still write fanfiction, even after 15 years. I make friends and read awesome stories that are posted online for free because other people around the world want to share their ideas and love for these games, books, movies, tv shows, whatever - just that same as I do. I keep improving, too. Compare my latest story with my first. The difference is obvious. The difference is why that embarrassing first story is still online - a marker of how far I’ve come. 

And yeah, there’s plenty of stuff out there that’s better than the stuff I’m writing now after all my improvements. But I know I wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as I am now (at least, compared to that first story, yes?) if I had given up. If I had let a few bad reviews drive me away. If I let people tell me that fanfiction was just a waste of time - why do something if you’re not making money off it, after all?

I have started my own original novel though. I’m putting 15 years of writing practice into it. I’m putting in all my years of reading and learning from example into it. It’s not finished yet, and it’s not perfect, but it’s better than my rambling story about Tallulah the Talking Hamster, and I would never have considered even attempting to write it if not for fanfiction.

My point in all this? I’m a 30 year old woman who is not ashamed of writing fanfiction, who is glad to write fanfiction, and is really quite proud of how far I’ve come in terms of skill right now. I mean, yeah, who doesn’t have wobbles of self-confidence, but that’s why I’ve kept every single review alert I’ve ever received in my inbox.

So if anyone out there reading this is just starting out in fandom - any fandom - go take a look at that first fic. Maybe you think you write better. Maybe you think you could write better, if only you weren’t afraid to try. Maybe you do write better, and you’ve never written a story before in your life. My point is - do it. Even if you think you’ll fail. Even if you get some negative feedback. Write, and keep writing. Draw, and keep drawing. Make cosplays and edit videos and do whatever it is you do and don’t stop. Because you’ll never get better if you stop. 

[artificialqueens]

girls like dollies chapter 2 (trixya) - lale

A/N: thanks for the love for the first two parts! I’m really loving writing this, I hope you enjoy! As always, much love to kate-boosh for creating such gorgeous trixya art!

It took Trixie a few seconds to realize she was staring at Katya like an idiot. The other girls were looking at her, and she quickly did her best to snap herself out of it.

“Hi! Apparently you have my schedule?” she said, grateful that she managed not to totally trip over her own words as she pulled herself together.

Katya cocked her head, her forehead scrunching up. She went from gorgeous to adorable in no time at all. “Schedule? I do not even know that word! I have no idea what you are talking about,” she said, throwing her hands up. Her accent was thick, and Trixie immediately felt embarrassed. If her English wasn’t good, Trixie didn’t want to confuse her.

“Oh, um…they said they gave it to you?” she said lamely, grasping for the right words.

Ginger let out a huffing noise, moving past Trixie to sit on one of the beds. The two sides of the room were decorated in totally different styles. Ginger’s bed was surrounded by posters for musicals and stage shows, and she had neatly arranged floral bedsheets with a few cushions scattered over the top. The other side, which had to be Katya’s, sported an abstract composition of random magazine cuttings and pictures stuck up on the walls, and her unmade bed had a bright clash of red and purple sheets.

“Bitch, stop confusing this poor girl,” Ginger said. Katya laughed, a huge, wheezing laugh that made it seem like Ginger had said the funniest thing in the world. Trixie felt a sudden, desperate urge to make her laugh like that.

“Okay, okay. You never let me have any fun,” Katya said, no trace of an accent left in her words. She turned to her desk, which was covered by a mountain of books and other random items, and looked around for a moment before producing a crumpled sheet of paper. “Da! Here it is,” she said, unfolding it. “Tracy Martel, drama program.”

“What? Did they get my name wrong?” Trixie said in alarm, reaching for the schedule. Katya let her take it, a bright smile on her face. “Oh. Trixie Mattel. Why did you call me that?” she said, surprised.

“Sorry, Tamara,” Katya said carelessly, waving a hand at her. Trixie blushed. Having someone insist on calling her by the wrong name felt like it should be an insult, but it didn’t come across that way. The other girls certainly didn’t seem to think anything of it, so she decided that Katya couldn’t have been being mean.

“What have you been doing with yourself this afternoon?” Ginger asked Katya, who’d flopped down onto her bed and stretched her legs wide. Her skirt slid up her pale thighs, and Trixie felt her cheeks heat up. She looked away quickly.

“I went down to the art studio for a while, but it was so quiet. Maybe I’ll tag along to drama tomorrow,” Katya said, shrugging.

“What program are you in?” Trixie asked curiously.

“Oh, I’m not,” Katya said nonchalantly. Trixie blinked. As far as she knew, everyone at RuPaul’s had to be part of one of the specialist programs they offered. There were enough to choose from, that she knew well from how many times she’d read the academy’s brochures: you could focus on drama or art or design or dance or sport, and get some of the best training in the whole country. She opened her mouth to ask Katya what on earth she was doing at RuPaul’s if she wasn’t studying any of those things, but Ginger cut in before she could speak.

“I’m starving! Trixie, let’s go and see if the girls are back from art. I’m sure Kim won’t appreciate us stealing you away for your first dinner here,” she said, standing up. “Miss Katya, are you coming with us today?”

“Da! I heard whispers about pizza,” Katya said, eyes bright as she leapt to her feet.

“Girl, you say that every day. There’s never pizza,” Jinkx pointed out from the doorway. Katya waved a hand.

“We live in hope, darling,” she drawled. Trixie laughed, and Katya turned that stunning smile towards her.

That smile…it gave her butterflies. Katya was gorgeous, and in the few minutes Trixie had spent around her she’d already proven herself to be hilarious and a little mysterious. Trixie was utterly captivated by her already. Katya pranced ahead of them down the hallway, and Trixie watched her messy blonde hair bounce around her shoulders.

She had a girl crush, that was what it was. She’d felt like this before, with the gorgeous girl in the grade above her whose boyfriend had the locker next to Trixie the year before, and the girl who lived two doors down from their old house. She was fascinated by how beautiful they were, how cool and funny they were – she wanted to be them. That was all it was, no matter what anyone said about her. She wasn’t like that. She wasn’t.

Thankfully, Kim emerged from her room in time to rescue her from her own thoughts. “Trixie! How was drama?” she asked. Despite her afternoon spent in the art studio, she looked pristine; Pearl, however, who was stood behind her, had hands covered in paint and a streak of blue up the sleeve of her sweater.

“It was incredible,” Trixie said honestly. Kim beamed back at her.

“Was she amazing? She was always the best back in Milwaukee,” Kim said to the others. Trixie flushed, embarrassed but pleased by Kim’s words.

“She’s marvelous,” Max said, giving Trixie a kind smile. The other girls were nodding along, and Katya raised an eyebrow at her.

“Marvelous? Maybe I really will drop by the theatre and see this for myself,” she suggested, a bright smile on her face.

“Can we go?” Pearl said, saving Trixie from having to respond. Katya didn’t shift her focus from her, though, a surprising amount of intensity in her gaze. Trixie had to look away, her stomach full of butterflies.

“So impatient! Someone wants to see a certain other someone whose name begins with V,” Jinkx teased in a singsong voice.

“Shut up! It’s not that, I’m just hungry,” Pearl insisted, rolling her eyes and trying to look irritated but looking more embarrassed than anything. “There’s nothing going on with me and Violet.”

“Oh, so I suppose you two were just having an innocent slumber party last week?” Kim cut in. Katya squawked loudly, dissolving into wheezing laughter. The others laughed too, though Trixie thought that may have been as much to do with Katya’s reaction than anything. Pearl had turned bright red.

“You were asleep!” she spluttered.

“I wish I was,” Kim told her with a straight face. “I can never unhear those noises. They fill my nightmares.”

Trixie looked between them, trying to hide her surprise. Was Pearl a lesbian? It certainly sounded like it. Kim didn’t sound bothered by the fact that Pearl had apparently had sex with another girl in their room.

“I think you scared the new girl,” Ginger said, a smirk on her face.

“Don’t tell me you have a problem with girls who love girls, Trixie,” Pearl said, apparently having shaken off enough of her embarrassment to give Trixie a questioning look.

“Of course Tracy doesn’t! Do you?” It was Katya who spoke, cocking her head as she waited for Trixie’s response.

“No! I don’t care what you do,” Trixie said quickly. She didn’t care who any of the girls were attracted to. She wasn’t gay, that she knew, but it didn’t matter if any of the others were. Katya nodded in approval, a proud expression on her face.

“She’s a good one,” she announced, linking her arm through Trixie’s. Trixie let her, too surprised to question how quickly Katya was willing to decide they were friends. Katya kept their arms looped together as they walked down to the dining hall a few steps ahead of the others.

“Are you really Russian?” Trixie asked, unable to help her curiosity about Katya’s disappearing accent. She laughed, waggling her eyebrows at Trixie.

“Why would I give away all my secrets, Tallulah?” she said playfully.

“I suppose I should take that as a yes,” Trixie said dryly. Katya laughed again, loudly and freely.

“Da. I’ve been going to school over here for years, though. I sound like you American girls now,” she said, adopting an exaggerated Southern accent.

“Don’t you miss your family?” Trixie asked.

Katya shrugged. “It’s alright. I can still talk to them and see them in the holidays. How about you? It must be weird for you, your first time away.”

“Oh, um. No, it’s okay. I hadn’t really thought about it too much, to be honest,” Trixie replied. It wasn’t even a lie; she’d been so caught up in the excitement of how good things had been so far at RuPaul’s that she’d barely thought about her family back at home. She didn’t even know if her mom knew where she was.

“At least you know Kimberly! I would say she can look after you, but we all know she can’t even look after herself,” Katya said solemnly.

“That’s rich, coming from you!” Kim said from behind them. Trixie looked around at her, and Kim looked pointedly between Trixie and Katya, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Trixie just shrugged, giving her a bemused look in return. She was just as surprised that Katya had taken such a shine to her, but she wasn’t going to fight it. Katya was possibly the most enigmatic person she’d ever come across, beautiful and hilarious and full of energy. No wonder Trixie had such a girl crush on her.

When they reached the dining hall, half of the tables were already filled and there was a short queue for food. Katya sniffed the air, then gasped dramatically. “You all doubted me!” she said, turning and pointing accusingly at the other girls.

“Pizza,” Ginger said, looking shocked. “Katya…was right? Girls, the impossible has happened. The end of the world is here!” she said, drawing a cross over her chest and pretending to bow her head in prayer.

“You fucking bitch,” Katya replied, but she was laughing as she dragged Trixie over to line up for pizza. Trixie was starting to get the impression that she might be spending a fair amount of time in the near future being dragged around by Katya. She didn’t mind that idea at all.

-

By the time Trixie got back to her new bedroom, she was exhausted but buzzing after what she decided had been a successful first afternoon. The pizza for dinner hadn’t been the best, but she’d hardly cared given the company. She’d met Violet, Pearl’s not-girlfriend, though she wasn’t sure she’d made the best first impression with her. Not that it had been her fault – Katya, sat opposite her, had accompanied Kim’s introduction of Violet with crude hand gestures and silent orgasm impressions, and Trixie had struggled to keep a straight face. She’d decided that the reason Katya seemed so cool was that she genuinely didn’t seem to care about anything. Everything she said seemed to be an attempt to make people laugh, and most of the time her humour came from a sentence of randomly strung together words that somehow became hilarious when it was coming out of Katya’s mouth.

If Katya had been a guy, Trixie thought she definitely would have had a crush. But she was a girl, and Trixie wasn’t gay. It was a girl crush. That was a totally different thing – she wanted to be friends with Katya, and be more like her. She didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

Pearl had disappeared off with Violet on the way back to their room, so it was just Trixie and Kim. Trixie opened up her suitcase to unpack properly, since she hadn’t had time to do more than change when she’d first arrived.

“I’m so happy that you’re finally here,” Kim said, crossing the room to help her. “I felt like I hadn’t heard from you in ages! Were you trying to keep it a surprise?”

“No. I just…didn’t know how to tell you everything,” Trixie admitted. Kim frowned, pausing in her task of stacking Trixie’s clothes on her bed.

“What happened?” she asked. Trixie sighed, perching on the edge of her bed.

She told Kim everything. What her stepfather had done, how she hadn’t known that she was going to get taken away until the moment she got home and saw the social worker. How she’d gone from group home to group home until she’d managed to get the audition for RuPaul’s. How she still hadn’t spoken to her mom and didn’t know if she would anytime soon.

As awful as it all was, it felt therapeutic to get the story off her chest. Kim had her arms wrapped around her by the end, holding her in a protective hug.

“But what made him do it? Did he just snap?” she asked, her voice soft.

“Oh…yeah. He’d just had enough of me, I guess,” Trixie said evasively. What was she supposed to say? My sister told him that people at school say I’m a lesbian because I look at other girls? She wasn’t. She wasn’t! What was the point in going into it with Kim when it wasn’t even true?

“I’m so sorry, Trixie. At least you’re here now. You never have to see that asshole again,” Kim said. Her lisp made her angry words sound comical, and Trixie managed a laugh.

“I’m so glad I’m here. Everyone seems so nice,” she said.

“They are! And you always wanted to be able to take acting more seriously. This place is perfect for you,” Kim agreed. “Katya seems to really like you.”

Trixie couldn’t help but blush. “She’s cool. Absolutely crazy, but really cool,” she said.

“Oh, she’s a total weirdo. But everyone loves her,” Kim said. She stood up, going back to piling Trixie’s clothes for her neatly. Trixie put everything away, only keeping out pyjamas.

“What are the classes like?” she asked.

“Fine. Pretty normal, except there’s barely anyone in each class. You can’t sleep through them like you can in Milwaukee,” Kim said. Trixie groaned. “Hey, it won’t be so bad. You have most of your classes with Katya, right? She’ll keep you entertained,” Kim pointed out.

Trixie smiled at the thought. “Yeah, I guess I got lucky,” she agreed. She changed into her pyjamas and climbed into her new bed. It felt a little strange to settle into a new room, but it was a familiar feeling to her now after her weeks shuffled between group homes. She grabbed her phone from the beside table, plugging it in to charge overnight. The screen lit up, and she swallowed hard around the lump in her throat. Still nothing from her mom. Did she even care that Trixie was gone?

She pushed the thought aside, tapping on the facebook icon instead.

Max Malanaphy added you as a friend

Miss Fame added you as a friend

Jinkx Monsoon added you as a friend

Katya Zamolodchikova added you as a friend

Ginger Minj added you as a friend

Alaska Thunderfuck added you as a friend

Pearl Liason added you as a friend

Kim Chi mentioned you in a status update

A smile spread across her face. She accepted all of the friend requests, and went straight to Katya’s page. Her cover picture was a shot of Katya and some of the other girls in dorky poses, and her profile picture captured her stunning smile. Trixie couldn’t find much else on her page, but she couldn’t resist scrolling through her pictures for a minute before going to see what Kim had said about her.

Kim Chi is feeling happy! So excited to have my sister Trixie Mattel at school with me at last!

Katya Zamolodchikova, Jinkx Monsoon and 5 other people liked this

Katya Zamolodchikova: welcome to the madhouse, Tracy

Trixie smiled at Katya’s comment, tapping the like button on the status and the comment. “You’re such a fucking loser,” she said fondly to Kim.

“You love me anyway,” Kim said, grinning over at her from her bed.

“Yeah, I kinda do,” Trixie agreed. She put her phone down, snuggling under her covers. Who cared if she hadn’t heard from her mom? She was reunited with her best friend, and she’d already made friends with so many new girls. RuPaul’s was living up to everything she’d imagined it could be so far, and she’d only been there a few hours.

“I really am glad you’re here, Trixie,” Kim said in a softer voice.

“Me too,” Trixie said back, smiling into the darkness.

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - nine

prove them right

Warnings: none

I have a happy personality with a heavy soul, it's very tiring.

Waking up the next day, Tallulah was more than confused. She remembered Paul driving her home, but not getting home. She must’ve fallen asleep, but that wouldn’t explain how she got into her house, let alone her bed. There was a throw blanket draped over that she quickly tossed to the side. She was still in her jean shorts and tshirt from the night before, which were the last of her clean clothes from her duffle bag, she groaned out loud, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her stuff from Seattle still hadn’t arrived. She left her room, and knocked on the door next to hers, Lennas answered, clearly getting ready for work and raised one eyebrow at her half-sister, “Yes?”

“Can I borrow a hoodie, please.” She asked quietly, she's never had to ask to share clothes with anybody before, and only hoped this would go in her favour. Lenna sighed, and opened the door further, nodding her head in the direction of her closet.

Tallulah made quick work of the many hoodies Lenna owned, selecting an oversized red hoodie that had their school name on it. “Thanks, Lenna.”

“No problem. But, I get to borrow that brown flannel you own”

“Deal.” Tallulah agreed, throwing on the hoodie before leaving her to finish getting ready. She walked downstairs to the kitchen where she knew her dad would be, deciding there was no time better than now to ask about the Port Angeles trip with her friends from Seattle. She smiled at him as he looked up when she entered the room, “Good Morning, Tal.”

“Morning Dad.” She chewed her lip, before spitting out nervously, “Can I visit with my friends next friday? They’re going to be in Port Angeles.” she looked at her dad expectantly as he mulled over the idea, before ultimately shaking his head no, “I don’t think that's a good idea, Tally.” She rolled her eyes in annoyance, “What do you mean it's not a good idea!? They’re my friends who I have known since I was a kid! You let me go out with pretty much strangers just last night!” She nearly yelled, she was angry and annoyed that the level of control she had in current life felt like it was at zero. “These same friends that got you into all this trouble are the reason you are not going to see them.”Her dad's voice now raises slightly too, clearly she gets her ability to stay calm from him, or lack of.

“They didn’t get me into anything! I did that myself! Those were my choices. And maybe I shouldn't have. But I did, and now I’m here and you're refusing to let me move past them. It’s not fair!”

“You’re not going, Tally and that's final.” She spoke with such authority that she knew better than to argue.

“Fine!” she fumed, turning on her heels and heading for the front door. Grabbing her car keys as she did so. She slammed the front door as she made her way to her car, climbing in and slamming that door too. She rested her forehead on the steering wheel as she took a few deep breaths to collect herself.

After figuring she was calm enough to drive, she started the engine and pulled away from her house, following random roads with no destination in mind.

Turning right, a mix of stand alone stores came into view, Uley's BookStore amongst them. She could see Paul's blue truck sitting outside of it. She didn’t know exactly why, but she wanted to see him and before she could stop herself she was parking her car next to his and climbing out.

She walked into the store wearily, a small chime alerting that someone had just walked.

She spotted Paul almost immediately as he lifted his head up from his spot at the counter that he was occupying, pen in hand and papers all laid out, ‘Hey, you didn’t tell me you were going to stop by today.” he said, his smile mirroring her own. All anger from 15 minutes prior had left her mind, just from being in his vicinity. “Last minute decision.” Tallulah admitted,

“Do you work here?” she asked as she marveled at the petite shop, its painted a forest green colour with dark wooden bookcases. Some were already lined with books, others were bare. Tallulah assumed those were recently put together. There's a bright red spiral staircase that leads to the second floor in the corner of the room, adjacent to the door she had previously walked through. It felt so cozy and welcoming.

“No. I’m just helping Sam and Emily out.” he said, setting down whatever he had been working on before she had walked in.

“Oh. What do you do then?” she spoke as she continued to look around the store, “Did you build these yourself?” she asked, thoroughly amazed as she looked at him. Paul nodded, “I do lots of things.”

Tallulah tilted her head, clearly looking for more clarification.

“I, uh, fixed up Chief Blacks wheelchair ramp a while back and kind of just stuck with odd jobs like that around the rez. I liked to do something else eventually. When I’m able to settle down.” Paul spoke, watching her as she ran her index finger down the spine of a book. “Settle down?” she asked curiously, looking over her shoulder at him. He nodded in return, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, “I work for Sam mostly, but I don’t want to be doing that forever.” Tallulah held back the urge to roll her eyes, “Right, his little protection squad he’s got going on.” she turned back to the bookshelf she was looking at, picking a book up off the shelf to read the synopsis. “Is that what they’re calling it these days'' She nodded her head while still looking, “Yeah, and from what I’ve gathered you guys are a real pain in everyones ass.” she teased, thinking about the night before when he had showed up with Sam in the clearing. Paul laughed before saying, “I’ll tell you more about it another day. Can you help me with this?”. Tallulah nodded and walked to him, he was holding a wooden shelf against the wall, but it wasn’t quite centered. They traded places and began to adjust it, stepping back to make sure it was centered before marking the wall so that he could drill the wall studs. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, making her want to be closer than they already were. She shook the thought from her and handed him the shelf before making her way to another bookshelf that had already been set up and filled.

She found a book on Quileute legends that she had yet to hear about and plucked it off the shelf before making her way to the counter and hopping up, and reading the first few pages.

“Here. You’ll like this one.” she heard him say, looking up as he brought a book over to her. She placed the one she was currently holding beside before taking the one from his hands, reading the name out loud, “The Wolves Are Back”, Tallulah looked up at Paul amused, “Very funny.” Paul laughed lightly at her reaction, “You’re the one who wanted to know if there were wolves here,”nudging her teasingly, “And you said there are wolves in the forest!” she exclaimed, “and if a bear could wander close to the rez so could the wolves, plus I heard one earlier this week” she stated, and he nodded his head, no doubt. “You’ll hear them all the time, but they're deep in the woods. They don’t come anywhere near civilization.” he assured.

Tallulah and Paul stayed at the bookshop until dark. The more she got to know him, the more she realized she had misjudged him. They way he talked about his group of friends, especially Sam made her realize just how similar they were. Loyal to a fault.

It also made her realize how she could in fact go visit her friends with just a simple white lie. And sure, she was supposed to be spending her time in LaPush bettering herself, but clearly after what her dad said, they don’t think she can. That she will always be no good. She’s not going to change their opinions of her, so she might as well live up to their expectations of her.

Tags:@cperry0516 , @bhasbhabiessss, @fuzzyfingersandcavier

[jjaywmac]

Of late, Daddy has been on my mind, especially this week. Two reasons, in particular. First, I must decide where to hang my picture of him and a watercolor by his mother, Mary Dickson. Everything must go on the walls somewhere. Second, I ventured out into the world this week. I was invited and went to a luncheon/art project event, called “The Wisdom Cafe”, in Valbonne. 

Let me explain: Sara Randall and Cy Todd, two friends from the American Club of the Riviera, have formed a group that meets twice a month in Valbonne – usually a luncheon event held at a restaurant, Les Pierres Rouges, with program of some sort.  However, this Thursday event was different.  Sara and Cy invited their artist friend, Laura McCollough from San Diego, California, to share her story and give the group an art lesson! First, we had a fun luncheon – interesting women with interesting stories from everywhere. Then, Laura and her daughter Rebecca led the group a hands-on art project.  The assignment was to find a meaningful sentence or a phrase, choose a basic color (blue or grey acrylic / red and yellow watercolors), and go with it.  I knew instantly my sentence “Rough Seas Make Good Sailors”.  I chose blue acrylic and went for gold.  Haha.  Here is my result. No comment. 

After I got home, I put my “artwork” on the book shelf and thought about Daddy. He loved inspirational phrases and sentences and books and pamphlets and pictures.  “Go to It!” “Be Kind to One Another”. “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going!”  I had to read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (ugh) before he would let me to go to Camp Dixie in Clayton, Georgia (which I LOVED).  People call him “gracious” and “a perfect gentlemen”. I thought of him as witty and a cut-up. Always telling a joke or three, laughing and having a good time.  He loved people; people loved him.  He could talk for hours to farmers, taking me with him to “visit”.  He also loved his Jack Daniels Black Label (a bottle always under the sink in the kitchen) and his Elks Club – especially the downstairs for members only (men) with card games and slot machines.  

I still have a picture of him that I have had for ages. It is going on the wall somewhere. Don’t remember how I got it.  I just remember it hanging for years above the organ in the Music Room.  Daddy loved organ music. One day I came home from school to find an organ, sitting in the Music Room with my piano.  That is when I found out that Daddy like to pick out hymns on that organ. He didn’t know what he was doing, mind you, but that did not keep him from doing it.  Here, you get two for one – picture of Daddy and picture of me taking the picture.  

At that time, I was practicing the piano a lot, getting to be quite good. (Actually, I was competing with my sister Barbara and Janice Martin next door. I wanted to be as “technically proficient” as Mrs. Feldman said Barbara was. AND, Janice played by ear. Damn! HOW DID SHE DO THAT????? No, I had to practice and practice and practice. I wanted to show off in a private piano recital when I graduated from GHS (Gainesville High School). Plus, I had been accepted into the School of Music at the University of Wisconsin. My instrument was piano. I played Chopin’s Revolutionary Etude at my audition. I was also proud of my work with Martha Finger Stratton (my piano teacher), playing Mendelssohn Concerto for Two Pianos in E Major. I still have the Steinway Daddy bought me when I was twelve.  It is the elephant in the room.  I love it. When I look at it and play it every day, I feel the pride he had for me and my accomplishments, constantly urging me to do more and be better.

I still have my grandmother’s painting. Daddy’s mother was Mary Tallulah Dickson – from Texas.  I don’t know how she got to Gainesville.  Just know she was an art teacher at Brenau College. Beautiful girl.

Mother and Daddy had a watercolor of hers (Mary Dickson aka Mary Dickson Jewell aka Mary Jewell Loudermilk aka “Mama Loudermilk”).  They inherited it at some point. It  had hung at Mama and Papa Loudermilk’s house for years. It then moved to Aunt Mary and Uncle Joe’s house, along with Mama Loudermilk, when Papa Loudermilk died. Then Uncle Joe, Aunt Mary, and Mama Loudermilk all died. As a result, Uncle Beamus (Edgar Herman Jewell, Jr. aka Daddy’s brother) inherited that house and its “stuff”. After Uncle Beamus died (he had married Edith Lilly), he left a widow and a will, leaving Mary Dickson’s artwork to Mother and Daddy.  I just remember seeing that watercolor in the Music Room over the “whatnot shelf” (remember those) and loving it.  (Are you following all of this? There will be a test, later.)  All three of us (Patricia, Barbara, and I) wanted THAT watercolor. So, Mother made us draw straws. I WON!  When Mother died, I shipped that watercolor to California and got it re-framed.  

  The more I see it, the more impressed I am with Mary Dickson.  I would like to know her better.  Look at the detail in this piece. So beautiful.

   I don’t have a lot of things. But, I still have Daddy’s Hamilton gold watch with Daddy’s initials on the back. He wore this wind-up watch for years. After he died, Mother gave it to me because she knew I had coveted it. After I got to France, I had it repaired and wear it frequently.  I love it. 

Engraving on the back.

  I still have Mary Dickson’s two spoons with her initials on them. “MTD”. I was named Tallulah after Mary Tallulah Dickson (aka Mama Loudermilk) and Mary Tallulah Jewell (Aunt Mary). So, when Aunt Mary died, she left me all the things that had “Tallulah” name or initials on them. I got some engraved silver and her mink pieces with her name on the lining.  The minks are long gone, but I still some silverware.  I love using a spoon that I know Mary Dickson used.  Who gave it to her? What was her family of origin like? Why don’t we know more about her – where she came from, who her people were? No one ever talked about her that I can remember. She was the matriarch of the family, a leader before her time. 

I have Daddy’s gold cuff links and tie clip with a chicken on them that he wore all the time.

I have his chicken nutcracker. We always had a nut bowl in the kitchen for the pecans that fell off the tree in our side yard.  (Daddy loved pecans, not walnuts.)

When I was growing up, Daddy would take me to the office (J. D. Jewell, Inc.) and ask his secretary, Mrs. Goforth, to teach me how to file things. Then, he would pay me for my work. I loved every minute of it. In his office behind his desk hung the painting in this photograph. Somewhere along the line, I acquired it.  I still love it.

  There have been a lot of articles about Daddy, but only one book that I know of, Homer Myers “Pass The Chicken Please, The Life and Times of Jesse Jewell”. It is quite good and accurate, as far as I know, regarding the Company and Barbara’s family and Patricia’s family. Not accurate about my family.  I don’t like that part.

I have the book “Leaders in Georgia, In Education, In Business, and In the Arts”, published in 1955 by Curtis Printing Company, Inc. Daddy’s picture and profile are on page 57.

Maybe more books will be written about him. I have begged my niece Debby aka Deb Prince Kroll, a wonderful writer, to write it, using all the articles she has in a box in her attic.  I may write one.  Mine would be from a subjective point of view. I want someone to write an extensive history of his story and the difficult times facing North Georgia after the Great Depression.  These people prevailed.  SO WILL WE.

  “The End of the Beginning” Of late, Daddy has been on my mind, especially this week. Two reasons, in particular. First, I must decide where to hang my picture of him and a watercolor by his mother, Mary Dickson.