#I stopped at chapter 24 (I finished chapter 24 and will continue with 25; that's what I'm saying)

[thatonecrookedsmile]

So, I've recently been reading Fade To Black for the first time, and I'm making more and more progress. And at the moment I'm currently am, I have already read chapter 21 of this book.

I just wanted to put on record here that I became a different person after reading this chapter. I have been changed. I was saddened. And most importantly, I was destroyed. (ok, that's a pretty heavy word. I didn't cry, but feelings were definitely felt). This book goes hard, I believe.

Oh and also, since I got past chapter 23:

Joey Drew. I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass. Sleep with your eyes open tonight.

That's all. Have a good day everyone.

[ceruleanangel]

The Diamond of Zaun- Chapter Two

Pairings: Vi x Reader kiiiiinda Silco x Reader could be more later...

Tags: f!reader, performer!reader

Content Warnings: angst, kiiiiiiinda age gap! relationship

a/n: Chapter two everyone! this one actually gets into the plot so im really excited to see what y'all think. Also I'm making it to where Vi and reader are both 17 pre time skip, so around 24/25 after the time skip.

Also Also I've been binging some playthroughs of Final Fantasy VII and I'm absolutely smitten with Cloud Strife so don't be surprised if some drabbles of him come through teehee.

Chapter One

“I finally got a letter back”

Vi’s head instantly turned to you from the couch she was lazing on, 

“What does it say?” 

You held up the sealed envelope so Vi could see it. She quickly vaulted over the back of the couch to meet you where you stood at the entrance of the gang’s little clubhouse. She waits for you to open it, glancing back and forth between the letter and you, biting your nails in anticipation. “Oooh I can’t open it, I’m too nervous.” You extend the envelope to Vi, flashing a smile, “Can you do the honors?” Vi raises an eyebrow at you and tuts, but regardless, she takes the envelope. She messily tears it open, although careful to not damage the contents of the letter inside. She clears her throat and reads in a pretentious accent,

“Dear Miss Y/n L/n, 

With great pleasure, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Piltover Institute of Dance and Performing Arts-”

Vi wasn’t able to finish reading the letter before you grabbed her hands, jumping up and down squealing with excitement. You hop up on the boxing machine platform that has doubled as your mock stage over the years for your ‘grand performances.’ Mostly only for Vi. “I can see it now!” You spin on the stage, holding an air microphone, “Everyone will know my name…I’ll even have it in lights!!” You turn and smile down at Vi. You can feel your cheeks heat up as she looks up, smiling warmly at you. You nervously put down your hands and breathe out a small sigh of relief as she looks back down at the letter. Your excitement swiftly fades to confusion as Vi’s eyebrows furrow, and she continues reading,

“...and we eagerly await your presence on campus in Piltover one week from now… “ she looks up at you, the corners of her lips becoming down-turned, “You’re leaving us in one week?” You step down from the stage to stand in front of Vi once again. You don’t meet her eyes, looking towards the floor, 

“Well, classes would begin in one week so…” A moment of silence passes, both of you contemplating the limited amount of time you’ll now have together. You finally gather up the courage to look up at Vi and slip both of your hands into hers. She gazes back into your eyes, despite her tough exterior, you can sense the sadness in her expression. “I promise I’ll come back to you every weekend!” you convince, trying to coax a smile out of her face despite the melancholy moment. You pull her towards the make-shift stage, backing up until you can step up onto the platform. Your thumbs rub circles on her hands as you muster up your award winning smile, 

“You know that you’ll always be my favorite person to perform for.”

Current Time

It’s almost as if time had stopped, the way you stood frozen in the hallway outside of your dressing room. Your hand would have shaken if not for its stabling hold on the door. You could hear the blood pumping in your ears as your vision became foggy, the image of Vi fading from the sight of her in front of you, to the way you saw her seven years ago, bloodied and…

“Hey Dia, everything alright?” the sound of one of the club’s bouncers jumpstart your brain back into motion. You look towards him then follow his eyes back to Vi and also another tall girl with blue hair that you don't quite recognize, standing behind her. “Is there a problem?” You’re about to open your mouth when Vi hoists herself up from the couch, and strides up to you, placing her hand on your shoulder as she passes.  You can only watch, mouth agape, as she turns to the bouncer, grinning at him “No, no problem here, we were just heading out.” She takes ahold of your hand and slips somthing in it, nodding to the bouncer and continuing down the hallway. The blue-haired girl follows close behind, skittishly looking between you and the bouncer before jogging to catch up with Vi. Who is that girl?

Once your brain catches up with the events that just transpired, you move to catch up with them, her name fighting to be freed from your throat, but the bouncer grabs your arm, “Yes?” you hurriedly ask him, you keep your eyes locked on Vi, desperate to catch up with the mystery that is currently walking away from you, carrying all your answers with it.

 “Boss left something for ya in your office.”

That catches your attention, and you turn to the bouncer, “the Boss did?” “Yep, came and dropped it off himself.” Thoughts fly through your brain once again but you quickly filter through them, the time-sensitive ones flying to the top.  You glance back toward the hallway and once you see it’s empty, you rush toward the door and glance out into the bar. Your eyes squeeze shut in frustration once you realize that Vi is already long gone. You turn, retreating to the back hallway, letting your head fall, but your gaze reminds you of a folded piece of paper in your hand. You quickly return back to your dressing room and open it up. You chuckle at the chicken scratch handwriting thats virtually unintelligible, that is, to almost anyone but you.

Meet me in an hour. You know the place.

Shivers ran down your spine. As time went by, ghosts from your past always seemed to go away, either fading into something else or being gone permanently. 

This was not a ghost you’d ever thought you’d see again

After boring holes through the folded, crumpled paper with your stare, you set the note down to get ready. But once you glance up, you're reminded of the ‘something’ that was left in your room. 

Not noticing the grand bouquet of fresh flowers sitting square in front of you on the dressing table goes to show the level of distraction that you are currently dealing with. You sit up in your chair, breathing in the scent of fresh tulips. You cup one of the buds in your hands as you glimpse the corner of a card peeking out from the center. You pull it out and have no trouble reading the excellent penmanship, 

My Diamond,

I’m so terribly sorry I had to miss your show, but I have no doubt you were as dazzling as usual, please do take these as an apology 

-S

Compliments and other such flattery have long since grown weak on you, having heard everything in the book, but you pretend to not feel a slight heat on your cheeks as you place the note back into the bouquet. Instead, you pluck one flower out of the bundle and arrange it into your hair, pulling it up and back away from your face. You quickly change out of your performance outfit and into something you can wear through the streets of the underground. You slip out into the night, heading exactly where you know you’ll meet the pink-haired ghost of your past. 

~

You make sure to listen intently to your surroundings as you traverse your way to the old clubhouse. It being abandoned and such, you never know who could be slinking around, especially with Shimmer affecting the citizens the way it does, causing them to find solace in the shadows. You wish you could retreat in such shadows, but the light always seems to find you. 

You reach the broken glass window and navigate through, without marking yourself on the shards. Scars wouldn’t be good. No one likes a damaged product. The glass crunches under your boot as you wander through a place you once practically lived in. Your hand brushes against the boxing machine that holds so many memories. You looked up at the leaderboard. If the power was on it would show Vi holding the top places, and many more after that. Without your knowledge, a smile began to tug at your lips as wetness started to well up in your eyes. Your hands blindly start to grasp to find the switch. 

“Don’t bother, they won’t work.” You didn’t need to turn your head to know who was speaking from behind you. Nonetheless, you whirled around, once again glimpsing Vi and an unidentified blue-haired girl. You had questions about her, but those could wait. 

“Vi, I-” “Where's my sister?” you two spoke at the same time. “...your sister?” you spoke after a moment of silence. Vi began to stride towards you, her voice becoming more intense and frantic.

 “Yes, where's Powder, I need to find her now-” 

“Vi where have you been?” Vi stops in her tracks, only a few feet from you as you cut her off. You can feel your throat start to close up as tears start to well in your eyes. You will not let them fall. Your eyebrows furrow in anguish and frustration, why did she leave you?

“I thought you were dead and - and now you just reappear like nothing happened?” You glance down at the shards splintered on the cement floors down below, trying to blink away the wetness in your eyes. “...not even ask how I've been?” 

There's a moment of silence between you, but you refuse to look up into her eyes. You’re scared of anything you might see on her face, sadness, anger, but most of all, 

Indifference 

You could have never imagined the sinking in your stomach when what you were afraid to see is instead delivered to your ears,

“I don’t have time for this-I don't even know why I bothered…you’re too busy galavanting on stage, prancing around for everyone- for Silco.” She spat the words at you like it was poisen in her mouth. You finally look up at her in time to see her turning her back, “...You don’t care about us anymore.” She begins to take a step away but she stops at the sound of your voice,

“You have no idea what I care about!” Your chest tightens and the tears run freely down your cheeks. Images of the seven years you were apart, the seven years you had to do what you could to survive, images of the Garden. Your head buzzes with anger and anguish, and you release it all out onto Vi. You aren’t aware of what you’ll say next, the feelings that have been built up over the last seven years cause words to stream right from your heart to your tongue.

“You have no idea what I have done to protect those I care about...including you.”

You don’t even take a minute to catch your breath before taking long strides towards the broken glass in which you entered. But instead of moving out of the way of Vi you aggressively bump into her shoulder, leaving her stumbling as you continue to the exit. You kick in the glass at your feet, trampling smoothly through the gaping hole. The cool air from outside in the alley blows through your clothes as if they weren’t even there, swiftly calming your hot head and bringing you back to reality. You take a deep breath and turn your head, just enough to be perfectly silhouetted by the neon lights blazing on from outside the valley.

“And by the way, it’s not Powder. Your sister’s name is Jinx.”

Chapter Three

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 44

chapter 67:

1. jfc remus (how is he that strong)

2. god, can’t our side have one fucking win? all these people captured. including my remus

3. “"She started the war for me, and she'll end it for me, too."” GOD i love lesbians

4. NO NO NOOOO NO NO NOOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOO MARLENE STOP NOOOOO!!! SHE WANTS TO PROPOSE TO DORCAS AFTER THE WAR!!!! SHES GONNA DIE I CANT HANDLE THIS

5. 😦

6. marlene?? i-

7. i’m still in shock

8. okay i have my bearings. this is why the post is two days after the last one lol. anyways, i’m actually pissed that she didn’t get to die a big dramatic or memorable death. she didn’t do anything. it was just a landmine. and she’s dead. and i get it, i really do. war isn’t always big heroic deaths. it’s also this. where one moment, you’re planning to propose to your partner and laughing with your freind, and half a second later, you’re blown to bits. but genuinely, her death fucked me up. i knew it was coming, but not like this. holy shit, not like this

anyways, the first thing i did after i read that bit was text my freind. and first thing they did was call me. i sent in bold “IM CRYING” and i get back “why” “MARLENE” bro immediate call. not well. not well at all

9. i continued and read the rest of her death. and her last words being dorcas will forever fuck me up

10. PANDORA????? PANDORA????

12. anyways all i did was call back the freind and say “PANDORA” and that bitch laughed at me. (love them to death) told them to go suck a lemon (they’d never heard that phrase before) and then they made me hang up to finish reading

my poor roommate has heard me call this freind twice (it’s ten o’clock at night)

13. “Horace would need more than just two hands, many more, to count the amount of people who would have gladly put their guns down for Pandora alone.” yeah, me for one

14. FLEAMONT NOOOOO

15. james will be devestated beyond belief

16. remus? huh??? he was shot in the head. but. he had a pov. i’m not sure now

17. …dorcas? i was so sure she had a pov

no wait she has a pocket. just checked

18. regulus???

19. um actually albus can fucking keel over. wont save all those other people in the lineup, then hears his brothers name and is willing to sacrifice the war for him. i get it, but alberforth knew this would happen to him

20. huh, damn. and alberforth still gets shot

21. 🚨🚨🚨pandora is safe. holy shit pandora is safe. i repeat pandora is safe 🚨🚨🚨

22. and fleamont and suddenly that all made sense

23. “”You forgot to count your bullets."” do i hate snape? yeah. but that’s fucking iconic

24. “Riddle lost the moment those doors burst open and two of Euphemia's someday son-in-laws moved into the room with Dorcas Meadowes one step ahead of them.” lmao freaking iconic. more historically important than trump getting shot

25. effie stopping to mourn barty gave me chills

26. NO FLEAMONT!!!! i’m getting fucking whiplash from this

27. effie having such a short pov but still so much emotion and character is shown in her love for fleamont

28. yall remus, regulus, and dorcas are fucking insane.

and i’m so here for it

29. “For all those years Sirius was taken away from him, Regulus breaks Riddle's fingers. Ten years, ten fingers.

For what Riddle took from James, Regulus takes his eyes. This is a difficult task. Regulus has never removed someone's eyes before. It's messy, and it takes the combined efforts of Remus and Dorcas to keep Riddle from flopping right out of his chair.”

mom pick me up i’m scared

30. “There are no good people in war, and now Dorcas thinks there are no good people out of it—certainly not her, because she would gladly go back into it just to have Marlene again.”

going feral over this actually. i’m unwell. i’m so freaking feral over this omg

31. reading authors notes and finding out that monty was author’s prim is actually making me go fucking insane

32. 😀 hi i’m unwell

(anyways side note, uhhh chapter was fucking insane but also like if y’all are reading this fic or this post, just know that there is no anger or resentment towards the author. he wrote this for himself and shared it with us. it’s a masterpiece and we RESPECT people. so yeah, this is the story he wanted to tell, so he wrote it for himself. just ya know, so yall remember)

[also don’t sell fics 😊 i will hunt you down]

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapters 24 & 25 will be posted soon (two chapters will be posted instead of one).

Buck and Eddie got married and Buck's officially Chris' second dad!

Currently 23 chapters completed: 893.1K Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

{#1 Previous snippet linked here}

{#2 Previous snippet linked here}

____________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapters 24 & 25 because Buck and Eddie are married and the Diaz family is starting the second half of their two-week long European family adventure. For anyone who hasn't read Chapters 22 and 23, here's a brief overview. In Chapter 22, Buck and Eddie got married, Chris was their best man and Eddie successfully surprised Buck with all the things he had planned for him including a three-tier wedding cake. Their honeymoon started that night and they had an important conversation before they consummated their marriage. In Chapter 23, they left Rome the day after their wedding and proceeded to visit 5 other cities for the remainder of their time in Italy. By the end of it, they agreed to continue speaking Italian even after they return to the U.S. because while they were in San Gimignano, they made a decision that could affect the course of their family's lives forever. What was the decision? 👀

They departed Rome at the end of the chapter and they landed in London on Christmas Eve to start the second half of their family adventure. What else are they going to do while they're still in Europe? Will Buck meet his biological father? 🤷🏽‍♀️

___________

Here's a snippet of Eddie on the verge of having a panic attack because of the state he sees Buck in after he enters the room.

_________

Buck keeps reading, he’s still looking down and by the time he makes it to the end, his chest starts feeling funny again like it's felt for the past two days but it’s much stronger this time.  It’s so intense, it causes him to drop the thing he’s holding in his hand.  His vision blurs and he thinks he’s grabbing at his chest because his heart feels weird kind of like it did in March but he’s not sure if he’s imagining it.

He leans forward and tries to reach for the back of the couch but his vision starts to close in and to him it appears he’s standing in a haze of fog as everything in his line of sight starts to get smaller.  He wants to move but he’s too far away from anything that won’t injure him and he’s scared that if he does, he’ll collapse and bump his head on either the credenza or the end of the couch but neither of them is a viable option.

While he tries to make a split-second decision, at that moment, his husband enters the room with a big smile on his face that quickly turns into one of extreme concern when he sees the state Buck’s in.

That sharp pain Eddie felt in his heart at 3:17AM returns but this time it’s so strong it causes his eyes to widen and all the air gets sucked out of his lungs.  He watches as Buck continues to grab at his chest then everything starts happening in slow motion.

With his eyes locked on Buck, he notices his eyes are red rimmed, his cheeks are wet, his skin looks pale and since Eddie’s a trained paramedic, he recognizes the signs of what appears to be a bradycardia event of epic proportions and he knows he needs to act fast or else Buck’s going to hit the floor.

He moves quickly but his legs feel like weights are around his ankles.  He needs to move so he can catch him because now Buck’s swaying on his feet and he sees his knees buckle in real time.  He sticks his arms out like a quarterback does when he’s about to catch the football and he realizes he did it just in the nick of time because now they’re filled with the weight of his husband and he's able to stop him from hitting his head on the edge of the couch.

Eddie has a flashback to March when Buck was hanging from the aerial and he thinks he’s going to lose it.  He screams through labored breaths, “MY LOVE… TALK TO ME.  TELL ME WHERE IT HURTS.  IS IT YOUR HEART?  TALK TO ME PLEASE!”

No response.

Buck’s already unconscious so he gently lays him on the floor, gets on his knees, reaches over from the back of the couch, grabs two throw pillows and puts one underneath his head and the other underneath his ankles to elevate his feet.

After he gets him positioned, he notices Buck’s body is lifeless and it causes him to exhale a half cry and a scream.  “OH MY GOD!  AMORE—MIO!  PLEASE… WAKE UP.  WAKE UP FOR ME MY LO—VE!  TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!  BUCK PLEASE DO—N’T LEAVE ME… PLEASE!”

No response.

Eddie feels like he’s going to jump out of his skin because he doesn’t know what happened and the last time he saw Buck like this he was hanging from the top of the ladder and his body was dangling in the air.  He was dead for three minutes and seventeen seconds and in his mind he’s not sure how long it’s been because he didn’t start counting when he saw Buck fall because he was too busy catching him.

All his fears about Buck dying again and leaving him flood to the front of his mind like the swirling waters from a category 5 hurricane and as tears roll down his face, he feels like he’s drowning and his lungs are beginning to close and he can tell it’s the start of a panic attack.

What happened that caused Buck to have what Eddie believes to be a bradycardia event? 👀

Is it his heart or something else? 🙃

Is it possible there are long lasting effects from the lightning strike that were missed by the cardiologist? 🤷🏽‍♀️

What's going to happen next? Will Eddie have a panic attack? 👀

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - Will be posted soon.

Chapter 25 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-23 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapters 24 & 25 will be posted soon.

[b4rbi3l4nd]

SOS — i can't see it

NEW CHAPTER IS UPPP, again, I will never stop thanking y'all for all the support on the last chapters, y'all's comments make me so happy pls 😭 anyway, hope y'all like this chapter!! and i apologize in advance for what goes down in this chapter, also if this feels rushed, i apologize i was getting my hair done and i wanted to finish this chapter and put it out today, more was gonna go down but anyway. i also changed the age so y/n was 20 when she found out she was pregnant but she's 24 now and Shuri is 25, had to do it based on the MCU timeline lol, MB, also for some reason I cringed a lot writing the last scene bc the WORDS was just so unholy but ANYWAY ENJOY

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋

GIF by mandalor-din

series summary: you broke up with shuri a few years ago and left wakanda for good until namor. now that he's killed the queen and multiple wakandan civilians, he's seen as a great threat and as former second in command at shuri's lab and wakanda's loyal warrior it is your duty to return and fight for your country. but a certain somebody makes the mission way too hard to deal with.

episode summary: a hasty decision you don't agree with and an uncomfortable realization leads to you and shuri having to talk things out. one thing leads to another and the next thing you know, you wake up in her bed. awkward

genre: ANGST, slow, slow, slow burn, smut

pairing: shuri x black fem reader

episode warnings: mature dialogue, suggestive dialogue, suggestive scenes, smut, cursing, trauma, shouting, mentions of death, suicide, missing people etc. this is a series. you are currently looking at the fourth chapter of the series, please go to my profile to read the previous chapters before continuing (if you haven't read the other chapters yet, if so, please continue)

taglist: @yvxmpire, @sweetalittleselfish-honey, @xxmilli, @queenofsimpsblog, @ziayamikaelson, @shuriislut, @atssukoo, @widowmakker, @cuddl3s4shur1, @n7cje, @ts1mp0ne, @locoforshuri

proofread?: no but if there are errors then it's grammarly's fault.

word count: girl idfk

inspirations: 'SOS' — SZA

song: 'Blind' — SZA

send your thoughts and requests

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

You sit in front of the throne room, your legs crossed as you nervously moved your legs up and down, trying to listen in on what the elders and Shuri were deciding on doing about the baby.

"I say we get rid of her and the baby." An elder proposed. "We don't need another repeat of Killmonger."

"Exactly." Another elder agreed. "And we don't even know is this baby is of royal blood."

"Not only that but this baby will be the grandchild of Namor. If someone like him has access to Wakanda? We've good for."

"This is an innocent baby you all are talking about." Shuri interjected, looking between the elders. "They haven't even been born yet, and you're looking to them as a threat."

"I say we let her have the baby and then once it's born we kill Malia and raise the child as our own." Elders added.

"We can't just kill her off like that.." Shuri muttered. "Eventually the child will grow up wondering what happened to their mom and then...killmonger all over again."

"So what do you suggest we do my queen?"

Shuri took a deep sigh, her fingers resting on her chin as she looked around the room.

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The doors to the throne room opened up as Shuri walked out, you immediately stood up, walking next to her.

"Hey, what are you all going to do in there?" Shuri looked at you and then back forward.

"We've come to an agreement of what we're going to do to the baby. If it's not mine then, she'll be sent back to country."

"And if it is?"

You didn't even give her a chance to respond as your eyes opened wide. "Wait what? Send her back to her country? Are you crazy?"

You guys turned a corner as she just ignored your words.

"If it is mine, then she'll be sent back to her country, after 9 months, the baby will return here to be raised in Wakanda."

"Why are we sending her back to her country? Are you trying to get us all killed?!" You whisper shouted at Shuri who sighed deeply.

She pushed open the door to the infirmary to see the doctor standing there, Malia laying down on one of the beds and Okoye and your mother standing next to the wall, shaking their heads.

"Well? How far along is she?" Shuri asked, glancing between her ex and the doctor.

The woman whispered as she spoke. "8 weeks my queen."

You bit the inside of your lips. Fuck, that means she was pregnant when you hit her. Are you serious?

You looked down, you knew what they were going to ask next, if the baby was Shuri's or not. And they can find that out. You know that because an elder of your tribe had it forcefully done on you when he suspected you of engaging in sexual activities with the princess.

When Shuri found out of course, he was executed.

"Well, is it of royal blood?" Shuri asked.

The doctor showed some papers as she answered "The blood came out a bit clotty and the tests were hard to run because of this but so far, yes. It is your child, my queen."

You let out a shaky breath you didn't know you had in you as images of Shuri and Malia filled your head. You puffed up your cheeks and looked down and turned around. "God."

Shuri also sighed deeply and pressed her temples.

"What are we going to do my queen?" Okoye asked as Shuri thought for a moment.

"Keep her locked up for now. She'll eventually be sent back to her country. After 9 months, the baby will be brought back to be raised in Wakanda. Yeah.."

"Are you serious?!" You turned around to Shuri, furious as ever. You deeply cared about your country and she was a horrible decisions maker.

"She goes back to her country, okay, what happens next? Namor is enraged that she's pregnant with your baby and he knows all the key entrances to Wakanda. We're doomed, dead. Gone." You add to it.

"Well we know what they're planning, so we'll be ready for him?"

"Really? Ready for him like how you were all 'ready' for those last 2 attacks? HM?! Why don't you just kill her and the God-forsaken baby."

"Y/N, that's inhumane. I can't just kill her and an innocent baby...especially since she was my girlfriend for almost 4 years.." Shuri added.

"OH BUT YOU CAN LOCK UP THE ONE YOU KNEW FOREVER?!" You raise your voice at her sharply. Your eyes had turned dull and the only thing behind them was fury. You were seeing red, you felt like you were going to kill Shuri and Malia herself.

"Don't think you're out of the clear because of this whole Malia thing because you're not." Shuri snaps at you. She didn't even raise her voice this time but it felt like she did. She walks past you, leaving the infirmary as Okoye follows her.

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You smile over to another person at the lab before turning back to your dehydration device. You were working on one of the heaters to try and distract your mind.

The whole Malia and Shuri situation had your head spinning in multiple different directions.

The guy you were working with at the lab was currently engaging with you in conversation and his voice kept getting drained out by your thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You look at him and he smiles warmly at you, repeating everything. "Oh yeah, you're right...this goes here..." You fix some stuff on the heaters before you hear a voice speak above you.

"Y/N, can I talk to you alone please?"

You look up to see Shuri staring down at you sternly and you gulp silently before nodding, wiping your hands on your white suit. You were too distracted with your thoughts to change.

She walked down the stairs and out of the lab as you followed. In the hallway, she pull you to a corner but her grip was less strong than you thought.

"Look.." She started as you looked up to her. She was staring at the ground nervously and you raise an eyebrow.

"What, you sending me back to Nigeria?" You ask and she slowly shakes her head.

"No..um, Okoye said some things to me earlier that really stuck with me and I feel like I owe you an apology." She looks directly in your eyes after the last bit, her stare now more genuine and sympathetic.

Your posture straightened as you folded your arms. "I'm listening." What an interesting change in direction.

"Ever since you got here, I haven't been..myself and I know that now because...because.."

"Because?"

"Because I'm still in love with you Y/N."

Your eyes widened at this revelation and you blinked multiple times. "What?"

"I know yeah, it's inappropriate and I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it and I expressed that in the worst way possible and genuinely, I'm sorry."

"Shuri I-"

"We don't have to talk if you're uncomfortable."

"No, no." You interjected. "I'm just surprised is all." You weren't expecting that and if you're honest, you are also still in love with her, no matter how many times you guys argued or you cursed at her, you've just been through too much together.

"I...I'm still in love with you too and..there's no running away from it. I'm a grown-ass woman...we're grown-ass women, I mean you're 25, I'm 24...we've got a lot of growing up to do." You finish.

"You've got a lot of growing up to do." Shuri said.

You rolled your eyes. "Don't start with me now Shuri."

A small laugh came from her as you looked up to see her chuckling. A smile formed on your lips as you laughed along with her.

"I missed this.." She said, looking at you with genuine eyes. Those beautiful eyes that once held hatred behind them looked at you with love, reminding you of how you used to wake up with her every morning.

"Shuri.."

"You know, you would make a great queen if you weren't so stubborn." She said sarcastically.

"I would make a great queen because I'm so stubborn." You corrected her.

"Ah-" She started.

"If- If that was what I wanted.." You backtracked on your statement, putting your hands out. A few moments of silence went by before she spoke out.

"I...don't want to fight with you anymore Y/N." She voiced out, a small frown appearing on her face. "And I'm not asking you to date me or anything I just..." She paused and sighed. "You came here under work circumstances and it was unfair for me to treat you inappropriately so, let's just keep it professional for the rest of your stay or we could be.."

"Friends?" You asked, raising your hand for a handshake.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Your hands locked together and she shook your hand, causing you both to smile.

Finally, peace at last.

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It's been 2 weeks since you and Shuri made up and frankly, you've never loved being around her more. You were starting to see the more innocent and playful side of her that you loved being around. You 2 were always joking in the lab and you especially loved it when you and Riri joined forces just to bully her.

It was peace in Wakanda and the only thing stressful was the fact that Talokan could attack any minute now, which is why Shuri was taking out the whole staff to celebrate that night.

No guards, no work, just fun and dancing and that's exactly what you were doing.

Riri helped you get ready for tonight, she said you needed to get your "hoe" on. Not sure why, but whatever.

She had you wear RED lingerie because

"Red is the sexiest color duh," Riri said, shoving the savage x fenty set in your face.

And a bodycon black top that was slightly see-through, paired up with a leather skirt.

"Only on the cleavage and sleeve parts, I'll let you have your dignity."

Not that the top even had to be see-through for everyone to know what your cleavage looked like anyway.

"It's kinda your brand now, own it."

Matching black pumps and red lipstick.

"You're like the only person I know that fits red lipstick. Here, I'll do it. Not too much lipstick, only on the bottom, don't forget to blend in the liner and a bit darker on the top lip and ooo, gloss. Just a little bit tho, it works on you though right?"

Bold eyeshadow.

"We want them panties dropping TONIGHT!"

And for your hair, natural but with your edges done, of course.

"Your natural hair already looks like a Brazillian blow out so, not too much."

And a black purse with gold, to match.

"Okay, we're done and wow you look hot."

"I always do, let's be for real here." You say as you both laugh in your bedroom.

Currently, you were grinding with that same guy you were working with in the lab earlier. He had his hands on your waist as you guys moved in sync to the music.

Once it ended, you excused yourself from the dance floor, catching Shuri sitting down next to the bar with her shades on.

"Hey.." You wave at her, sitting a few seats away. You're not sure if she heard you but she gave you a slight not. You couldn't exactly tell if she was looking you because her shades made it hard to tell but you nodded right back.

You were planning to let lose tonight. "Can I get a bacardi please?" You signal to the waiter and they nod. You watch as they pour your drink before you smile and take it.

You down it like a shot, before placing it down on the table, feeling the burn as it slithered down your throat.

"Phew...I'm gonna go back over there." You were talking to Shuri but you figured she couldn't really care, she opened her mouth to speak but shut it just as quick.

"Okay.." You stand up and walk back over to the dance floor, feeling a bit nervous but relaxed soon enough thanks to Riri.

You guys hands interlocked as you both danced to the music. Eventually, as you pulled away, you felt 2 hands on your hips again and they felt way too familiar, like they've been around there before.

You figure it was the guy from before and you let it be, dancing along with them but your face dropped when you looked up to see Riri staring at you, eyes wide open, mouth hanging out.

Okay, it definitely was not the guy from before. You look over to her, raising an eyebrow as your eyes signal a "What?"

She mouthed with her hands desperately swiping over her throat. "The queen."

Horrified, you turned around to see Shuri looking down at you, her shades were gone and you could see nothing in her eyes but pure lust and arousal. And that she was definitely like half sober.

You don't say anything, your body unconsciously grinding against her. Her head lowered to your neck as you let out a shaky breath when her lips connected to your sweet spot. The spot that she just loved to tease.

"Shuri.." you muttered out, starting to get lost in the feel of it.

You were brought back to reality when a cold liquid hit your top. You look away to see Riri in front of both of you.

"Sorry. I guess I spilled, you might want to go to the bathroom to get things cleaned up." She signaled with her tone and her eyes.

"Oh yeah..sorry." You turned to Shuri who had stopped and broke through her grip. You walked over to the bathroom, your mind racing.

You let out a deep sigh as you entered. It was currently empty, which was great. You grabbed some towels as you started to wipe down your dress, your thoughts replaced with what would've happened if Riri never spilled her drink on you.

"Need help?"

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the door open, Shuri's voice along with it.

She walked behind you, taking the tissue from your hands as she wrapped on arm around your waist, the other helping you to wipe your dress.

As time went on, it felt more like her grazing your breasts than her helping you clean up. Eventually, she grabbed a handful of one of your boobs and you let out a soft and unexpected moan.

You immediately covered your mouth, embarrassed as she chuckled behind you. She let go momentarily, giving you a chance to leave but you didn't.

In fact, you did the opposite. It was clear that your body wanted her, craved her. That you craved her. You leaned into her and you watched as she smirked through the bathroom mirror.

She slipped her hand through your skirt, grazing over your pussy. You let out a small moan as she began massaging circles, applying pressure. You bit your lip as you threw your head back on her shoulder.

She took the chance to capture your lips with hers and you watch it all happen through the mirror but then she stopped and pulled apart.

"I think we should go somewhere more private."

Now that she had already given you a taste of pleasure, you couldn't stop yourself, you wanted more. You needed more.

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warning: it's getting hot in hereee

As you entered her apartment, you looked around. Everything was still in contact from when you lived with her. The painting you made for your anniversary, still up on the wall.

You felt Shuri's arms wrap around your waist as she kissed you again, slowly and more passionately this time.

"Tonight, baby i want you."

She whispers between the kiss as you feel her hands taking off your clothes. You kicked off your heels as well, helping her out.

You guys walked backward, lips still locked together and hands roaming each other's bodies. She gently pushed you back on the bed till you were laying on the bed then she pulled apart and stood, looking at you up and down.

"Fuck..." She muttered under her breath as her hands reached down to touch your body.

"I love when you wear that sthandwa(my love).." Her lips connected to your neck as she slowly kissed all around it.

One of her hands wrapping around your neck as she turned your head, finding your sweet spot again, sucking on it now, hard but passionately.

"Mmm.." you moaned out as you felt a puddle forming in between your legs.

She didn't stop until the spot was dark purple before she pulled back, looking at your breasts.

"I missed these so much usana(baby)" Her hands grazed over your nipples, making them hard. She lifted you up slightly to unclip your bra before laying you back down again.

Her hands grazed over your nipples as she slowly took off your bra. Her lips connected to one of them, causing you to bite your lip, holding back an unGodly moan.

She sucked on them until they felt numb before she turned her attention to the other one.

She was being so mean, taking her time with everything and you knew she knew that you were craving her.

"Shuri..." you breath out as she looks up at you, humming in response.

"I need you to touch me.."

"I am touching you," She replied, lifting her head up as her panther chain dangled in your face. You hooked your finger around it to pull her face closer.

"You know what I mean, I want you to touch me..there.."

You take her hand and slide it down and around your curves until she reaches your pussy. She pressed her hand on it, earning a moan from you. Wow, she barely touched you and you were already cumming. You really needed her, huh?

"Fuck, I love when you get vocal entle.(beautiful)" She groaned as you wrapped your arm around her neck to pull her closer and kiss her.

She rubbed circles on you, lowering her hand before you felt her slip your panties to the side.

"OH-!"

You were caught by surprise when you felt her finger suddenly just slip in your wet folds. She found your clit without even looking because of course would...this was like coming home to her, she's been here before.

"Hm...? It's just one baby, you can take more than that right?" Shuri teased as you sighed.

"It just got me by surprise, that's all.." You muttered out, feeling her pump in and out of you.

Another finger slipped in, causing your hips to buck unconsciously towards her, earning for more friction.

"I think you're slowly killing me here.." You throw your head back, rocking your hips along to her rhythm.

Shuri chuckled as she kept to her pace before adding another finger suddenly, causing you to moan out suddenly.

Her pace slowed down as she used her free hand to hoist your hips over her shoulders. Once you were secure, she fastened causing your hips to jerk upwards.

You didn't even get a chance to moan out because that's when Shuri suddenly stopped and then she started hitting again but this time with more intensity and she was hitting your spot every time.

The spot that made you twist and turn like a worm. That made your toes curl up and look like it was doing gang signs. That turned you into a dumb babbling mess, that she just called you.

"OH SHURI, SHURI, YES, YES, YES!" You moaned out in pleasure as your vision turned white.

"That's it baby...keep going." Shuri groaned in your ear as she quickened her pace, you held onto her arm, feeling her restraint.

She was holding back but it still felt like you were getting hit with the force of a thousand bricks. She was strong most definitely.

She wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing tightly and it felt like she was breaking your windpipe but you loved it. Filthy.

It felt like she hated you so much with the amount of force she was using and it felt amazing, euphoric even.

Your hips jerked again as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"SHURI!" You screamed out her name as she moaned even louder than you when she felt you clench around her fingers.

"That's it beautiful, ride it out...just like that.." She kept thrusting in you but she slowed down, letting you get down from your high.

You thought it was over, you were starting to sit up when you felt her take a long lick of your pussy, making you squirm but she held you in place.

She released her grip on your throat and you were sure her handprint was going to be there tomorrow.

"Oh my..." you breathed out, your back arching upwards as she took more slow, long licks.

"Shuri please...." You moved your pussy along her mouth, rubbing circles as you moaned. She pushed her fingers that were just in you, into your mouth.

"Suck." She instructed and you did just that.

"Mmm..." She looked down at you with hooded eyes before taking her fingers out of your mouth. Both her hands gripped your thighs as she held you in place.

You closed your eyes as her lips made contact with your folds. She licked them slowly, sticking her tongue in places you didn't even realize existed. She had you seeing stars, especially since you were already sensitive from your last orgasm. But she didn't care.

Your thoughts scrambled and fuzzed as you felt her tongue enter deep into you and then back out before going in and out again.

"Shuri you're so...soo...meannn.." Your words slurred together as you tried to gather yourself.

"Really? I like to think I'm being generous tonight."

And she was true, on a daily basis, she did way worse, she was a completely different person when turned on, it was crazy, a whole 360 change.

Eventually, your breathing started to get hasty and rushed as your whole body felt numb.

You looked down to see Shuri staring right back up at you as she feasted on you and your juices. The eye contact you made was intense and hot. You looked over to the mirror next to your bedside and the sight was enough to get you squirming.

"Oh Shuri, yes...just like that baby, just like that.." You put your hands on her head, forcing her to go with your rhythm. You rubbed your clit against her face, the friction becoming unbearable, especially when she wouldn't stop doing that with her tongue. Deep and fast strokes, it was driving you crazy.

"OH MY SHURI, BAST, OH GODDD!" You felt her slip another finger into you and as soon as she did that, she slipped 2 more.

The pleasure was enough to drive you crazy and it did. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your body gave out as you collapsed and screamed out her name.

"SHURI, FUCK"

Your breathing was ragged as you tried to catch your breath, your hand over you chest as you watched her clean up every drop of your release with her tongue. You looked back up at the ceiling as you felt her leave from between your legs.

After finally getting a hold of yourself, you look up to see Shuri walking out from her closet, naked and, 2 black boxes in her hands. She looked at you tilting her head.

"Pick one."

"There's more?" You breathed out as Shuri laughed. You've already been overstimulated, cumming twice already. Frankly, you haven't had sex in 4 years, there's only so much your body can take now.

"You're cute...pick one." Shuri instructed again.

You laid back in the bed, lazily pointing to her right hand. You watched as she opened the box, setting the other one down as she pulled out a double-sided dildo, powered by vibranium of course. It was a personal project she made just for you. It transmits energy and pleasure between the 2 users so you both can get off.

It still looked clean and fresh so could tell she hadn't used it in a while.

You turned your attention over to her body, her tattoos, the way her hair was slightly wet from sweat, her posture, her everything. She was just so attractive. You forced your head to look back up at the ceiling, taking a deep sigh.

Shuri walked over to you on the bed as she just looked down at you.

"You look so beautiful like this you know..laid out on our bed, waiting for me.." She whispered, causing butterflies in your stomach and vagina. Crazy.

She took the dildo and inserted the tip slowly into you but then stopped, moving it in and out slowly, making a circle shape as your hips slowly followed the pattern, causing you to moan out slightly, your eyes fluttering.

"You like that huh baby?" She breathed out before stopping sharply. "Look at me."

"I can't, even if I want to Shuri...I can't see, I'm blind." You say and it was true, your vision was currently fuzzy as hell and this normally happened whenever you and Shuri slept together, she just had a way of touching you that made you lose all your senses.

Shuri smirked before shoving the whole dildo into you, causing you to scream so loud, you swear a glass must've shattered or something.

"AGH! SHURI! SHIT!"

She silenced you with a kiss as she brought the dildo back out again, rubbing your clit with her fingers gently and passionately.

She used her hands to put your thighs on her shoulders before inserting the dildo into you slowly this time as she rubbed in circles.

She then inserted her side into herself causing her to moan through the kiss, allowing your tongue to slip through and wrap itself in hers.

The room filled with the noises of both your moans and your skin slapping against each other. She was just hitting your spot again with just so much force and the fact that you knew she was holding back from going harder made your mind swirl.

Your toes curled, your breaths struggled, your hands gripping all over and onto the sheets, your hips bucking and moving with her pace, and your vision was currently gone.

"Mmm, baby..." Shuri moaned into the kiss as she kept thrusting. You could hear her panting and struggling to keep her pace and composure.

"SHURI! MM!" You shouted as you held tightly onto her arms and thighs.

Her pace started to become uneven as she threw her head back getting lost in the pleasure.

"Just like that baby...just...like..fuck.." She struggled before she finally pushed you to the edge.

You screamed out her name again as your back arched so high, you could kiss the ceiling. She fell into you, pulling out the dildo but still pushing up against you.

You felt her cum hit your walls as you sighed. You guys stayed in that position before she finally pulled away, using her finger to push some cum back into you, filling you up.

You fell on the bed, lifeless, breathless and visionless. The rest of the night consisted of Shuri running a bath for you and giving you a massage while saying praises to you, as well as her changing the sheets and slipping on one of her shirts on you.

You had your legs wrapped around her waist, her hands fixed on your waist, one of them, moving up, squeezing your breast and then going up to cup your face as she kissed you passionately.

You willingly opened up your mouth as her tongue slipped in. You moaned into the kiss. This felt amazing, like coming home. Her warmth that you had missed for years.

She eventually pulled away before laying you down on the bed, kissing your cheek sweetly. She grabbed a bonnet from her nightstand and put it on your head. You remember this bonnet, you used to wear it all the time back when you guys were still together..and she kept it.

She eventually got in the bed with you, slipping the covers onto both of you guys, her arm wrapping around you as you sighed.

She held you close, like if she let go, you'd disappear.

"I love you so...so much baby...my beautiful girl.." She whispered sweet nothings into your ear as she rocked you to sleep.

Fuck, I am going to regret this tomorrow.

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[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 24

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Part 23 🍂 Part 25

Pairing: Syverson x ofc

Series summary: Life with Sy, what more can you wish for? The most amazing husband and father to a whole litter of cute little kids... Sometimes you wonder "how did you get here?"

Chapter warnings: Sy's big-ass family.

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: @keanureevesisbae, as promised, I bring thee: Ch 24. I'm making y'all wait for 25 until I have 27 written. Sorry ❤️

@deandoesthingstome @geralts-yenn @omgkatinka @summersong69 @beck07990 @peaches1958 @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn

Jules started her little speech by thanking everyone for showing up at her engagement party, and thanking you – and Sy – for letting her use your house, which subjected you to the scorn of your mother-in-law again. Alright; subjected Sy to the scorn of his mother again. You were largely unaffected by the aforementioned scorn.

“As you may know,” Jules continued, “Pat hates being the center of attention for the whole night, and I’m a sucker for planning surprises for people.” You felt Sy tense up next to you as she said that.

“And it just so happens that someone very important to all of us…” Jules was laying the praise on thick, which Sy didn’t seem to appreciate. It took you far too long to realize where she was even going with this. “… turns thirty next week.”

Sy looked at Julie as if he wanted to shoot her straight to hell, and you sighed, as there was now officially no way you could make yourself scarce. There was singing, then another round of singing, specifically because Sy had begged everyone to stop singing, and following that had to be an attempt at the World Record for ‘most consecutive times a single person could hear the word ‘congratulations’ before going batshit crazy.’

You surprised Sy’s family with a sudden outburst of Dutchness when you congratulated Sy’s parents with Sy’s birthday, and were then forced to explain that it was a thing the Dutch did, without being able to give any kind of even half-decent reason as to why. Finding out you were Dutch also meant that a small army of kids now forced you to teach them some Dutch words, which started out cute, but soon turned into the inevitable ‘translate this swearword for me’-fiasco anyone with any braincells would have seen coming from the beginning. All in all, it took a while for things to settle down a bit again, and you were glad when the kids had disappeared back into the crowd.

“Love kids, but thirteen of them is a lot.” You said to Sy when he helped you find a place to sit down for a minute.

“I’d ask if you’re feeling any better yet, but I don’t think that whole circus really helped,” he said as he stroked a few curls out of your face and tucked them behind your ear, where they immediately escaped again, making Sy laugh. “Let me get you a drink.”

“Thanks, Sy,” you said, grabbing his hand as he got up to head to the kitchen.

While Sy was gone, you closed your eyes, and tried to ignore everyone around you, which became impossible when Mary Beth joined you on the couch.

“Lara, sweetheart, would I be a whole lot of trouble if I asked you to hold Lainey for a minute?”

“No, of course not!” You hadn’t even finished your sentence, or the little girl was in your arms.

“Thanks, honey,” Mary Beth said softly, “I love her to bits, but my arms are gettin’ sore.”

“I can imagine,” you said. Lainey was adorable. Nine months old with enormous blue eyes, and little hands and feet and… Her mom was gone. Probably off to the bathroom, but still, you prayed she’d get back just in case Lainey decided to start crying…

“Hey, how’s my favorite niece?” Sy sat down next to you and wrapped one arm around you as he tickled Lainey with the other.

“I thought I was your favorite niece, uncle Sy?” One of the other girls had heard what he said and jumped into his lap.

“Y’are,” Sy said, “and so are the twins.”

“That’s not fair,” one of the boys yelled. Suddenly, you were being ganged up on by children. It was scarier than you would have imagined.

“You’re not my niece, Johnny,” Sy answered with a smile, and the kids laughed at their uncle’s terrible joke before disappearing again.

“You said somethin’bout this lookin’ good on me, Sugar,” Sy said softly as he pressed his lips to your temple, “but I gotta admit, it looks pretty damn fine on you, too.”

You allowed yourself to get lost in that feeling for a bit. It was like a little glimpse into your future; sitting on that couch with Sy, holding a baby…

“Dammit, Sy, I want one,” you heard yourself say, although you were sure you’d never made the conscious decision to actually speak the words. In fact, you’d never thought you’d hear yourself utter a sentence like that at all. Ever. The look on Sy’s face said it all, but he doubled down on it with words.

“As many as you want, Sugar,” he said before kissing you. The loving and intimate energy of the moment was skillfully destroyed by half a dozen children yelling “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew” the moment Sy’s lips touched yours.

“Good Lord, you’d think it would traumatize them forever,” Mary Beth said after shooing the kids away. Now that her spot on the couch was taken, she sat down in the chair next to you. “I’ll take her again, if you want.” She held out her arms, but you really didn’t want to let go of Lainey just yet.

“It’s alright, she’s asleep, anyway,” you said. Mary Beth seemed more than grateful to have her hands free for a bit longer, and you didn’t mind that you got to cuddle with this cutie a little more. Besides, your stomach finally seemed to settle a little, but you still hoped that holding a sleeping baby would keep people away from you for a bit.

It all went on like that for quite some time, and by the time people started leaving, you’d been praying they would for at least three hours. Sy was merciless in kicking his brothers – who were now fairly drunk – out of the house, and with them gone, peace was restored. Wait, no. Scratch that: quiet was restored. Peace, to you, was a house that didn’t look like a miniature tornado had ripped through it.

“Take a shower and go to bed, Sugar,” Sy said. He could clearly tell you still weren’t feeling very well – and he was one hundred per cent right about that, it’s just that you’d much rather he join you for both of those activities. “I’m gonna help Jules clean up this mess.” Jules didn’t look too thrilled that she was being roped into cleaning duty – something she had surely hoped to avoid by not hosting this party herself, but you knew she wasn’t so stupid as to actually expect she’d be let go just like that. Even with Sy’s mom doing you the courtesy of stacking the dishwasher before she left, there was still plenty to be done.

“Since when does your family leave deviled eggs uneaten?” Jules asked while she carried a plate with two sad-looking eggs back to the kitchen. “Lara, want one?” As soon as she held the plate out to you, you stepped back. Julie made a whole scene out of pointing out you loved deviled eggs – as if you’d forget that – but with your stomach as upset as it was right now, they just made you feel sick.

“Let her go upstairs, Jules,” Sy said. There was definitely some irritation in his voice, and you were one hundred percent sure he wanted Jules and Pat out of the house as soon as humanly possible, so he could get to bed, too. “She’s not feeling well. Just… help me clean up my damn house.”

Jules followed his orders immediately, which was a very un-Jules thing to do, and you made your way upstairs. First stop: bathroom. The thought of a hot shower was almost excruciatingly appealing to you right now.

[chasingfigments]

Writing Update (July 2024)

Civil Hands - FFXV collab with @crazyloststar

You can find our promo post for this on twitter. I'm really fucking excited about it.

We've drafted 24/36 chapters and did a giant continuity edit through chapter 23 during an in-person writing retreat in May, which was a blast.

We've started commissioning artists for important chapters.

The first chapter is scheduled to go up in the second half of August.

We're on track to finish drafting all chapters by mid-November, though posting will continue through next year.

For Some Desperate Glory - Batman UTRH AU

Shortly after posting chapter two, I realized my timeline was fucked up. Luckily, Bruce has no idea how long he's been locked up, so I don't have to rewrite any existing chapters.

I did have to stop and create official character timelines, and then I had to re-outline chapters 3 through 12. Some things were kept the same, but a lot of stuff got moved around, cut, or re-outlined from a different POV.

I'm actually pretty pleased with how this second outline has turned out. I think it's a stronger story with those revisions, plus there's a bonus hug thanks to bribery from @ghost-bxrd.

I'll try to hammer out chapter three once I'm done with chapter 25 of Civil Hands, but Civil Hands takes priority.

Still untitled Lysithea fic - FF3H post-game fic

No progress made here, though I've jotted down a couple thoughts to swing back to when it's time for revisions.

This is currently my lowest priority and probably won't be actively worked on again until I've cleared the drafts of Civil Hands in November.

[mazegays]

could've followed my fears all the way down

Chapter 29

Chapters: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30

Thomas manages the walk back, but he’s leaning so heavily on Minho that it might have been better if they’d just carried him.

He’s still only signing.

Gally doesn’t know where that comes from— he hadn’t known Thomas and Minho could sign.

Where would they have learned? Why would they have needed it?

Thomas sits in a chair, eyes never straying from them as they move the two mattresses together.

He still won’t look either of them in the eye, and Gally doesn’t know if that has something to do with the lingering effects of the panic attack or if it’s part of why he’s signing.

Gally knows he doesn’t have the same history with Thomas that Minho does, but he’s never felt it quite this acutely.

Minho seems to know exactly what to do.

He feels… a little useless, to be honest.

Normally any touch during a panic attack will result in someone getting hit.

Minho seems to know how to touch Thomas when things are bad. Gally wishes he knew, too, wishes he could stop feeling like he’s only orbiting around them.

“Thomas,” Minho kneels in front of the chair, making it easier for Thomas to look at his face, “Is it okay if I explain the signing to Gally, or do you want to do that later?”

Thomas goes to raise both hands to sign, only to clearly become frustrated when his bad arm doesn’t cooperate. He signs some letters individually, but Gally’s not sure what they are, and gestures to finish whatever he’s saying.

“Okay, I’ll tell him. Do you want to change?” Thomas nods at that, and Gally would laugh if it weren’t so serious. Thomas almost always wants to wear one of their shirts after a panic attack.

Today, he picks one of Gally’s shirts and a pair of Minho’s pants.

Honestly, he’s not sure Thomas ever really wears his own clothes anymore.

(Not that Gally can blame him. Thomas’s shirts are too tight on him, but Minho’s shirts fit him fine, if a little snug. It’s a nice feeling, and the looks Minho and Thomas give him when he’s wearing one don’t go unnoticed.)

They settle into the bed, Thomas flat on his back in the middle. He usually lays on one side, but that hasn’t been an option recently.

“Gally,” Minho starts, when Thomas’s breathing has mostly evened out. His eyes are closed, but he’s still awake and listening. “The sign language first. I’ve told you a little about the lightning storm, but not everything. Thomas pulled me up, got me out of the storm. He’s the only reason I lived through it.”

Shit.

Gally hadn’t known that.

finish on ao3 or continue reading

If he didn’t know that his role in the Right Arm is one of the biggest reasons they got through all this, one of the reasons they were able to get this far, he’d go back in time and change all his decisions.

“The storm did damage to his ears, too. He didn’t even mention it. Newt had to point out that his ear was bleeding.”

That sounds like something Thomas would do.

“I don’t know how bad the hearing loss was, he never told us if it was all the sound in his left ear or if it was just muffled. He was having trouble with it, though, and he didn’t like being left out of conversations for our next moves. So he and I— and Newt, when he caught on— made up a sign language. Thomas didn’t want anyone to know how bad it was, so Frypan was the only other one who knew any of it, as far as I know.”

“He doesn’t seem to have any trouble now.” Gally runs a hand through Thomas’s hair once, testing the waters. Thomas relaxes a little more, so he keeps doing it.

“WCKD fixed it. He was shot in the Scorch.” Minho taps his own shoulder to indicate where, and Gally thinks about the scar he’d seen on Thomas there. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal at the time. 

“It was right before Group B came and took him, actually. They took him in what must have been a Berg and removed the bullet. It was some of the longest days of my life, because I didn’t know where he was or what they were doing to him.”

“They just… fixed it?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t remember anything from up there, they had him drugged the whole time; he was pretty out of it when they brought him back.”

“He really was their main hope, wasn’t he?” Gally whispers, staring at him.

“After a while, yeah. That’s why Janson wanted to cut his shucking brain out.” Minho’s face tightens with anger, though he’s careful to keep too much of it from being in his voice— he’s trying not to scare Thomas.

“Thomas,” Gally murmurs, knowing he’ll hear him, “You can fall asleep. If you have a nightmare, we’ll wake you up.” Thomas shakes his head.

Sometimes, after panic attacks, Thomas won’t sleep for days, because he doesn’t want to get trapped in his mind again.

He doesn’t want to know how long Thomas will try to stay awake after this one.

“The first panic attack I ever saw Thomas have, he passed out.” Minho says, tone way too light to be talking about this. “I didn’t know what to do, and his breathing got like it was tonight. Worse, eventually. He woke up screaming that night and couldn’t talk the next day.”

“This is the only one I’ve seen that was worse than that one.”

And suddenly, Gally understands.

He’d thought, in the midst of things, that maybe it would be kinder of them to let Thomas pass out. Then he wouldn’t be having a panic attack, because he wouldn’t be able to.

He hadn’t been thinking about the aftermath.

“How long will he be trying to stay awake for?”

“At least three days.”

Gally’s had his own share of panic attacks— less so now, because he’s gotten better at catching them before they start or heading them off early— but he never wants to do anything for hours after. He can’t. He’s exhausted.

He’s never understood why Thomas wants to stay awake after. Recently, he’s learned more about the nightmares, but they don’t come every time.

Thomas signs something to Minho, then twists his head to look at Gally.

“He wants to thank you for helping, and for the water.” Minho explains. “And he says if you want to learn, he can teach you something tomorrow.”

“Yeah, Thomas, of course I’d like to learn.”

Why wouldn’t he? He’s still not sure where they stand, dating-wise; they’re certainly not together in the way Sonya and Harriet are together, but they are together. They’re just taking their time in getting there.

“Thomas, I’m not going to tell Gally you’ll be fine without sleep, because you won’t. Gally and I are probably going to talk quietly for a while anyway, if you fall asleep now we’ll definitely be up to wake you from nightmares.”

Gally nods when Thomas looks at him again.

“You can’t stay awake forever, Thomas.”

He signs something, a little more slowly, and Gally focuses on trying to figure out what it is.

“No, Thomas, we’re not going to let you try.” Minho answers.

…He was nowhere close. Maybe next time.

“You can’t teach me sign language if you’re tired, Thomas.” He whispers, and Thomas looks like he’s thinking about this.

After a moment that’s far too long, he nods slowly.

Then he signs out ‘O’ and ‘K’ so Gally can understand him. He pulls Gally’s arm around his waist, over top of his stomach. Minho takes his cue from that and slides his under Thomas.

Minho’s free hand takes the one laying on Thomas, and Gally tries to ignore that it’s only the dim light that keeps Minho from seeing the flush on his face.

He’s had sex with Minho before. Hand-holding shouldn’t make him turn red, dammit!

But this— this is different.

Laying in bed with Thomas, whom he and Minho are both falling in love with, and being tucked close to each other, making sure Thomas feels safe enough to go to sleep, it’s different.

More intimate than sex in the Deadheads, or the map room. 

It’s different, because this isn’t just two boys who don’t even really like each other just having sex to have sex.

They trust each other now. They work together, they lead together. 

They’ve both been through different hells and come back through it. Maybe they shouldn’t like each other. In the Glade, they hadn’t. In the Glade, they’d never stayed the night.

They’ve slept in the same room (though not usually the same bed) for months.

Gally sometimes misses that, while he’s working, because he got used to talking to Minho everyday, laughing at his stupid jokes and trading stories about their dead friends.

Watching Minho smile, and the way his eyes look when they talk about Thomas (he knows he’s just as bad), or sometimes just whatever was for lunch that day.

Gally knows they’re not at love yet, he and Minho.

But there’s room.

There’s room, and he’s finding it fuller every day.

They think they’re being sneaky, but Thomas is slightly sleep-deprived, not unobservant.

(Okay, maybe he is a little unobservant today, but Minho and Gally have been taking turns finding reasons to check up on him almost every hour. It’s not hard to figure out.)

He’s still not back to speaking the way he normally does, but Frypan is talking enough for the both of them.

Frypan’s good at noticing the little things like that.

“So, Thomas, are your overprotective boyfriends going to actually come talk to you today, or just stare at you and whisper?”

Thomas goes to sign, but the sling stops him, and he sighs.

He keeps forgetting he has it on.

“I mean, I didn’t really ask them to.”

“Yeah, I know, I just think it’s funny.”

“They’re doing it to each other, too.”

“Are they?”

“They don’t realize it, but whoever is checking on me is getting checked on by the other one, a little farther away.”

Frypan laughs, loud enough that Minho and Gally— who are, indeed, whispering together not too far away— look over at them.

Thomas waves and then taps the counter to get Frypan’s attention again. Fry’s name sign— something Frypan had come up with himself, when he found out that they were making themselves a sign language—is distinctive even from far away, and even one-handed he knows they’ll catch at least part of what he means.

“Oh, you did not, Thomas.” Frypan signs back at him, abandoning what’s left of his clean-up work. “I can’t have them starting rumors about me.”

“Well, they’re not going to. They only saw your name sign. But they are either going to leave off or finally come over here.”

“Missing your daily dose of kisses?” Frypan teases, but his expression falters at whatever’s on Thomas’s face. He shrugs it off.

“I don’t know if I’m dating them separately or if we’re all dating each other. We haven’t even talked about dating yet.”

“Shit, Thomas.” That’s a sign Frypan just made up, but Thomas thinks he’s got the meaning right. “And Minho would have to translate almost everything right now?”

Gally’s a quick learner, but with Thomas only speaking when he absolutely has to, he hasn’t had a lot of time to work on signing alone with him. Minho helps, and Gally’s got the basics down now, but they can’t have a conversation the way they need to yet.

Thomas doesn’t really want to, anyway. Not right now. He hasn’t told Gally and Minho, but he thinks they know anyway.

The nightmares and waking up screaming are kind of hard to miss when you’re sharing a bed.

He’s still shaky, the thoughts of the panic attack and the tree and the forest and the almost-dying echoing through his mind, and the lack of sleep isn’t helping with any of that.

“Thomas, do you want to stay and help clean up, or do you feel like going with them right away?” Frypan asks, out loud this time.

When he looks at him, he’s standing right in front of him.

Oh. He zoned out again. Frypan’s probably been trying to get his attention for a few minutes.

“I— ” He looks around. He doesn’t want to leave this whole mess to Fry, but he knows that if he says he wants to go, then Frypan won’t blame him. “I’ll help with what I can.”

“Thanks, Thomas.” He gets his area straightened up— it doesn’t take long, he can’t use most of it with only one arm, and he hasn’t reached his six hours of wearing the sling for the day yet.

“You can go, Thomas.” Frypan tells him, when Minho and Gally finally reach the kitchen. He hasn’t been paying attention to them, but he thinks they might have visited the greenhouse first. He nods, but takes a damp rag to wipe the counter down.

“Oh, do you come here often, Thomas?” Minho’s being a shank again, as usual.

“I work here, asshole!” He drops the rag to sign, laughing a little. “Let me finish up quick.” He finishes up the counter, throwing the rag in the bin.

Thomas signs his goodbye to Frypan, adding a joke they’ve been making all day, and takes Minho’s offered hand as they leave.

To his surprise, he’s not in the middle. Minho is.

Gally’s holding his other hand. Elbow, really, carefully bracing the sling.

Oh.

From the look Frypan sends his way as they pass by the counter, he’s noticed, too.

“Feeling up for lunch with Harriet and Sonya?”

Thomas nods; he can’t answer without letting go of Minho’s hand, and he doesn’t want to do that right now.

Minho solves the problem for him by pulling him closer and wrapping his arm around his waist.

“They plan on eating by the fire pits.” He can feel their eyes on him, watching for his reaction.

It will be the first time he’s seen the tree since his panic attack.

He wants to try.

He wants to see if it’s better, with more people around. More distraction.

He can’t just avoid the tree for the rest of his life.

“Hey, you three!” Sonya waves them down; she’s sitting on Harriet’s lap again. “So, Thomas, you know these sticks were stalking you all morning, right? Want me to take care of that for you?”

Thomas laughs and shakes his head.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” In the greenhouse, as always. 

He glances at the tree as they sit down, but he doesn’t have time to think about it at all as Harriet jumps in on the teasing.

Despite the fact that he only actually speaks a few sentences aloud the whole time, he’s never cut out of the conversation. He’s shown Sonya and Harriet a few signs before, but not enough to be able to work with for an hour.

They still try, and that’s good enough for him. They’re trying, and they’re learning.

He thinks Frypan might have something to do with that, or maybe Minho is teaching them, but no one will confirm that.

After lunch, he tags along with Sonya. The greenhouse is a different kind of calming than the kitchen is, and while both are good, he just… he needs the greenhouse more right now.

Especially since he can’t go talk to Jamie, because she doesn’t sign.

There are some things Thomas doesn’t think he has words for yet, not in sign.

Things he and Minho haven’t talked about, that they haven’t needed yet but will, eventually.

They skip the fire that night; an hour a day by the tree is good enough for now.

“We need to talk. About…” He doesn’t have a sign for ‘relationship’. The closest he has is dating. “About dating. All of us.”

“Yeah, we do.” Minho signs as he speaks, more slowly so Gally can follow. Thomas knows without looking that he’s copying the signs, trying to get a feel for them.

“I can— ” Thomas swallows, then tries again. “I think I can do this verbally.” His voice is scratchy, rough; it’s better than when he woke up this morning but it’s still not great.

“Not if you don’t want to, Thomas. You don’t have to. Gally’s learned a lot, and we can manage with the signs we have.” Minho tells him.

“I’ll switch back if I need to, but we should have all the words we can for this.” 

“Do we want to take the chairs or the bed for this?” Gally asks.

“Bed.” Thomas decides. 

The chairs have too much separation.

Minho helps Thomas take the sling off, but he doesn’t lean against him like he normally would when they sit in bed.

He wants to watch both of them, figure out what they’re thinking if he can.

“Thomas, you know we both like you.” Gally starts, sitting across from him.

“I know.” He answers. He hasn’t said it back yet. “And I like both of you. But are you both just dating me, or are you dating each other, too?”

“I want to try dating both of you.” Minho says. “We’re going to have to figure things out, and talk a lot more, but I want to try it.” Gally nods his agreement.

Was it really this easy all along? Is this the talk he’d run away from?

“Thomas,” When he looks at Minho, he’s laughing a little. “I think you’re overthinking this, shank. Gally and I have been talking, trying to work though what we want to be.”

They’ve just been waiting for him to get on board, then. He feels the flush rising and ducks his head before either of them can point it out.

“Minho and I have had more time to talk it out, Greenie.” Gally points out. “We lived in a small room together for a few weeks, remember? It’s nothing against you.”

Still, he wishes he hadn’t been so afraid earlier.

But then they might not be here, Minho and Gally laying down on either side of him, holding hands across his body.

They don’t have a sign for ‘I love you’ yet, but he thinks Minho and Gally understand what he means anyway.

<- 28 30 ->

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 69. brb x oc

a/n: this chapter was just fun to write IM VERY HAPPY WITH HOW THESE CHAPTERS ARE LOOKING

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: Fluff, Rooster being a good boyfriend ( again and we love that)

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68

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taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

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@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 

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-

Beatrice smiled looking down at her phone when her father messaged her, letting her know they were finally home and giving her a short explanation on how he knew Jeff.

Apparently, they were best friends in high school but lost contact when Jeff joined the Navy, alongside a group of people they were buddies with in the late 70’s and he was happy he was able to talk to him again.

And so was she, not only had her father finally understood that her job was a good job, he now trusted the environment she worked in and the people surrounding her. And it was all because of Rooster, who right now was sipping on his morning coffee watching TV. in her living room while she leaned against the door frame, feeling her stomach and chest flutter with wild butterflies.

The fact that he stepped up, without her knowing nor asking him to, to resolve this whole drama between her and her father made her speechless. Everyday since their relationship began she wondered how the hell she was able to have someone like him, of course now the bad thoughts were much less than before and she could understand what a healthy relationship should look like. 

Her bare feet tap on the floor as she makes her way over to Rooster, whose eyes move towards her, a little smile forming on his face, “Hey.” he calls, watching her toss her phone to her coffee table and then crawl on his lap, a movement that he didn’t stop, he just lifted his coffee mug a bit higher so the hot beverage wouldn’t land on her. Beatrice hummed happily, her ear on his chest hearing his heartbeat, “This is a nice way to start a morning.” he murmurs, lowering his lips to the top of her head as her hands were tucked between their chests.

Bea giggles, her cheek still pressed to his pecs, “I’m glad you think the same thing.” she whispers, closing her eyes with a blissful smile. She wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on in the TV, choosing to hear his heartbeat instead, “What are you watching?”

“The news,” he begins, “Someone stole a llama from a farmer and drove it all the way to LA.” he finishes his sentence by drinking more of his coffee, licking his lips to get rid of any drops, “Apparently her daughter wanted a llama for her birthday, so instead of doing the rational thing of buying a stuffed toy she stole a living and loved animal…did I mention how LA is fucking crazy?”

Beatrice laughs softly against him, turning her head a bit more to see what was going on the TV screen, the picture of a blonde disheveled woman that seemed to have way too much lip filler appeared, soon followed by an old man holding a large white llama, “That’s so messed up,I’m glad he could get his llama back.” She says, “I never understood parents like that. It’s so awful, I hate spoiled kids and spoiled parents.”

“Me too.”

The continuity of that conversation held in the air like a bait waiting to be bitten by a fish in a dark pond but neither of them dared to speak any more about that, even if they both wanted to deep inside. “I just think some people shouldn’t be parents.” it comes out without her planning, biting her lower lip gently and fearing she’d be speaking about her own wants out loud to him, “You know? Like, children aren’t toys you can just have.”

Rooster nodded above her head, propping his chin on her hair as the two kept on watching the news channel. There was going to be another drop in temperature in a few days, a group of women beat a peeping tom up enough for the guy to call the police himself and a lost dog returned home after three months missing. Rarely were the days where the news were this lighthearted and he was honestly very happy to see it that way.

Beatrice looks up at him when he drinks the final drops of his coffee, “I’ll take the mug back.” but the hand on her lower back, preventing her from leaving his lap stopped her in her tracks. “Rooster.”

“You are so comfortable there.” he shrugs, as if he just said the most obvious thing with the little boyish smirk she loved so much, “You don’t have to leave now, do you?” but she tilted her head at him, plucking the mug from his hand and pecking his lips, a distraction much needed so she could slide off his lap, the pilot moaning out his complaint at the lack of warmth on his legs, “Baby…”

“I’ll come back soon, Roos.” she says, giving him the same smile that made his knees weak, “Just let me wash this and I’ll be back before you know it.” Beatrice walks out of the living room backwards, seeing how his head turned to follow her movements until he couldn’t anymore.

Bradley chuckles softly, shaking his head with amusement. She was just so great, he wished they could move in together faster but because of their leases they still had a few more months to wait before that could happen. Well, until then he could survive visiting her and vice versa, he was already used to her presence - and Jolene’s, who was currently lying outside on the small patch of grass that consisted of Beatrice's backyard. 

He runs his hands up and down his face, scratching the back of his head and immediately smiling when he hears her footsteps returning. He stretches his arms towards her, making grabby hands to the brunette “C’mere, gorgeous.” he says, making Beatrice laugh softly and then return to her spot on his lap, his arms hugging her middle tightly and pushing her up against him. Once she’s comfortable, and so is he, he presses another kiss to her forehead, “So what’s the plans for today?”

Beatrice blinks, thinking about it for a while, then she lets out a quiet ‘oh’ “I’m going to meet Marcus.” she says, almost as if she completely forgot about it, “...I talked to him and he said you can come with me and Ev.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, he said it’s fine.” she shrugs, smiling when his fingers comb through her brown tresses, twirling it once he reaches the ends of her hair. Beatrice furrows her eyebrows, chewing her lower lip nervously, “I keep wondering if this is a good idea or not.” she begins, “I–I’ve never done that before, Roos. I never even thought someone would be interested in me as a model.”

Bradley sighs softly, still caressing her hair, “I mean, it’s a nice opportunity, isn’t it?” she nodded against his chest but he could feel she was still worried, “What is bothering you about it?”

Her own body issues. Her self-doubt that even with Rooster being so openly vocal on how he thought she was sexy she still had moments where she would get…self-conscious. “I don’t know, everything? He said I’ll have to wear swimwear and such and,I-I don’t know.” her boyfriend said nothing, so Beatrice looked up at him to check if he was okay, only to see his eyes glaze over and look distant, “Are you just imagining me wearing bikinis, Bradley?”

He blinks his eyes down at her, shameless as always when he says, “Yeah.” he smiles, kissing her red cheeks, “Might get some of the pictures and keep it with me when I’m gone. You know, to keep myself sane while I’m away from you.” Beatrice’s cheeks only reddened more, but her smile widened, muttering a sweet thank you against his lips before she sat up better on his crotch, a movement that he deeply enjoyed, his hands immediately dropping to her hips, “You’ll do amazing.”

“I think my fear is…I don’t know, maybe I'm making a fool of myself?” she suggests with a shrug of her shoulders, “I know why I’m doing this,for both the car and to help when we move in together but still, I don’t know. You saw how my dad reacted when he was talking about the bar, I’m scared of how he’ll be when he finds out about it.”

Ah.

It shouldn’t surprise him that the events from yesterday were still fresh in her mind and he couldn’t blame her for being worried, even if it was a little bit about how her family would be.

He leans back onto the couch, sliding his hands under her night shirt so they touched the soft skin of her back and waist, “Baby, look at me,” he calls when she drops her gaze to her hands, worry written all over her face, “I understand your worry, but…you aren’t a child anymore and you aren’t disgracing your family by doing this. You know? It’s your choice, your father has to understand that you have the right to do things you want. You are an adult.”

“I know,I know you are right.” she frowns, then parts her lips, “God I’ll be thirty next month.” she mutters in shock, “I…wow,I completely forgot about it.”  considering she expected to be celebrating her thirties in a much less than happy position. Not alone but still single and wondering where to go from there, at best she and Shells would go to karaoke or go bowling, or both and probably get really drunk before the night turned into morning…and yet now she had Rooster and her whole world changed. 

Beatrice laughs to herself, a quick chuff of a laugh, but something that did call his attention, “What’s funny?”

“I’ll be thirty next month.” she repeats, adjusting herself on his lap so she could sit sideways, her shoulder now resting on his chest as she chews the side of her thumb, “I’ll be thirty next month. Holy shit. I genuinely expected to…you know, repeat the routine from the past years but now everything changed and I think I’m still…trying to wrap my head around it.”

Bradley furrows his eyebrows, pulling her closer to himself so he could place his chin on the curve of her shoulder, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she makes some noises, words that don’t come out as she tries to translate her thoughts into a full sentence, “I just–well, you know,I never expected…us.” she says softly, “And I am very happy we are here, together, I just…I’ve spent my birthday with my friends and family for so long…I guess I’m just,I’m just trying to understand all this. You know? I’ll be thirty. Thirty! I guess I just,” she shrugs, biting her lower lip, “I just am trying to make my brain understand that what I had planned for my thirtieth birthday won’t happen.”

“What did you have planned?”

“...Honestly, probably going out with Shells, maybe Ev too if she wanted, and going bowling.”

Rooster hums, a bit confused by her answer, “I thought you’d go all out, I don’t know, rent a club,” Beatrice chortles at the suggestion, giving him a disbelieved look, “Or a bar, or something.”

“What did you do when you turned thirty?” she asks softly, “Did you go all out?”

He thinks on it, for a second, before he answers, “I was deployed. I had a cupcake that the other pilots gave me and that’s how it was.” Beatrice’s eyes saddened, but he just chuckles, ‘It wasn’t so bad, I mean, it was pretty cool to have a birthday like that…plus the other ones afterwards were better.” she doesn’t seem convinced, but she does lean back on his chest, his lips pressing soft kisses to her temple, “But you could have something fun, right?“

“I guess? I’d have to think about it.” she murmurs, “I don’t–maybe I should go to Pinterest and get ideas because I don’t know how the hell I’ll do anything.” she places both hands on her face, looking a bit distraught thinking of everything she’d have to plan, “I mean…I guess I’ll have time to do everything…I’ll have until a week before the 12th so.” Bradley just smiles when she starts mumbling to herself, undoubtedly making scenarios in her head about how she could get everything she wanted - and everyone she wanted - quickly. 

She was just such a good person she’d probably make sure her birthday was fun for others more than herself, and she’d probably be too worried wondering if everyone was having fun much like the NYE party. With that in mind, something popped in his head, an idea that he thought she’d like…but he’d need help to do it. A lot of help.

“Well, anyway,” she says suddenly, “I’ll think about that later, I’ll go take a shower, then message Evelyn and then we can visit Marcus’ studio.” Beatrice slides out from his lap and Rooster stands up as well, hugging her from behind and kissing the soft skin of her neck, “Oh, we are going to shower together?” He hums positively against her, not giving her enough time to react when he just picked her up bridal style and rushed up the stairs with Beatrice laughing all the way.

-

Both him and Beatrice expected a tall building, much like Evelyn’s was, when they got to Marcus’ studio. Evelyn joined them, except she was the one driving ahead and leading them to the building, a building that much to their surprise wasn’t like Evelyn’s, it was actually a three story building that looked very out of place in such an area in San Diego. 

Evelyn told them, when they all stepped out of the cars, that it used to be a candy factory in the 1920s and that Marcus made the whole building his entire studio. Beatrice held Bradley’s hand as Evelyn walked in first, greeting a woman with short buzzed light colored hair, probably Whitney whom Marcus talked about before, and nodded towards them to follow her. The first floor was almost like a large runway with long platforms that disappeared from their view behind long red curtains.

Following Evelyn and Whitney up the stairs, beautiful vintage spiral staircases that had iron flowers on the railing, they reached the second floor where they could hear the repetitive sound of sewing machines and voices coming from behind dark double doors. Whitney opens it with a flair, then gestures to them to enter as she waits by the door on the left, “Wow…” is all Beatrice could say. Large windows, from floor to ceiling, illuminated a large atelier surrounded by mannequins, fabrics of all colors and pictures of past collections and models adorned the brick walls.

There were other people in there, working on the sewing machines they heard coming up the stairs, all of them dressed in either black or dark gray, looking up at the two when they walked past them. Down the hallway of sewing machines stood Marcus, who was currently holding a sequined red fabric up, a short woman rolled up the rest of the rolled up fabric in front of him, “No, no sequin is very tacky, maybe the next time–” he looks over his shoulder, through his thick yellow glasses and smiles, “Oh! But never mind that!Evelyn! Darling!”

“Marcus.” he air kisses Evelyn, hugging her once he’s done and the woman gestures to the couple standing right behind her, “I’m sure you know Bea.”

“My muse!” Bradley bristled a bit at the sudden compliment, just staring with a confused gaze when Marcus wrapped his arms around a shocked Beatrice, patting her back and air kissing her as well, “How good to see you, and I assume this is your boyfriend.” he’s almost as tall as Rooster was, so they meet gazes immediately “Ah, my manners, so silly of me. Marcus.” he holds out his hand for the pilot to shake.

Which he does, “Bradley.” he says firmly, then goes back to hold Beatrice’s hand and holding her to his side, “Big place you got here.” Marcus looks around proudly, his maroon silk shirt moving when he does, nodding to himself.

“I need space to show the world my art.” Marcus smiles, then clasps his hands together, “So, Beatrice,I am so happy you are here. Come, come,” he flaps his hand for them to follow him, which they do, Beatrice giving Bradley a small smile as they walk past a few mannequins and piles of fabric, “Because I have to take your measurements, darling and, give you some fabric tests.”

Beatrice’s breath hitches at ‘measurements’ her brain going into panic mode immediately thinking it’d just be as awkward as it was when she was a child. She hadn’t had anyone measure her ever since her prom, Evelyn managed to get her the Catwoman outfit by using some of her clothes for size, “Oh, ah, right.” she looks up to the ceiling where a large rose-like chandelier dangled above their heads, “I should’ve bought extra clothes for you to measure then, huh?” she laughs awkwardly, trying to think that maybe that’s what he meant.

Marcus drapes the measuring tape around his neck, looking back at her with his eyebrows furrowed “Oh, no, no, I’d need to take your measurements, darling.Not your size. It’ll be fine!” he’s quick to say when Beatrice loses all color from her face, clenching Rooster’s hand just a bit tighter. Rooster, in all his protective boyfriend aura that he was, stood by watching this whole endeavor with his eyes slightly narrowed. His biggest worry was Bea being uncomfortable and he hoped Marcus wouldn’t leave her like that.

Beatrice looks back at him with her lip in her mouth, “Well…I-I guess I’ll have to, um…go there.” she sighs, looking back at Evelyn who stood a bit further behind, with her arms crossed leaning on the tall shelves that had all the fabrics he’d want to use. The black haired woman gave her a nod, then a thumbs up, “Okay. Well, here I go.” 

“I’ll be right here.”Bradley says gently, slowly letting go of her hand and watching his girlfriend step closer to the fashion designer. His hands clenched and relaxed out of habit, choosing that keeping them in his pockets might be a better idea instead. He didn’t move his eyes away from the two, watching Beatrice’s reactions to whatever Marcus would tell her and if she seemed upset. She didn’t, she was actually smiling a little bit, looking back at Rooster with a red face when Marcus whispered something to her. 

Bradley smiles back, giving her a quick wink and then looking to where Evelyn was. Instead of her leaning position as before, she was now seated on a wine colored couch with her legs crossed by the knee, flipping through a random magazine, “You better sit down.” she says without taking her eyes from it, “This will take a little while.” he hesitated, making sure that the couch was perfect to keep his eyes on Beatrice at a distance, backing away until he finally sits down. The couch’s cushions make a noise when he does, it wasn’t a new couch if the creaky noise was any hint, crossing his arms over his chest with Beatrice still in his line of vision.

Marcus was measuring her upper body first, calling an assistant to write down something on an Ipad as he chatted with Beatrice. His girlfriend seemed to slowly relax, her shoulders losing some of the tension from before the more Marcus talked to her. Which was good, again, her comfort was his only worry right now “You know, she’s not going to disappear if you look away.” Evelyn’s calm voice broke his line of thought, the pilot turning towards her with his arms still crossed, “He’s not going to make her feel bad, believe me. She’s already his favorite model even before the photo shoot.”

Rooster licked his lips, facing back to where they stood to see Marcus had the measuring tape around her chest, asking her to hold it as comfortable as she would as he wrote down the numbers. “I don’t blame him.” he mutters with a soft smile, “She has that power over people.”

“Look at you all goopy and love struck.” Evelyn chuckles, flipping another page, “It’s precious, and nauseating.”

Bradley laughs quietly, leaning back on the couch after he feels his own tension slipping away, “Speaking of which, you just started dating Jake without telling anyone and we had to find out via Shells.” Evelyn just moved her gaze towards him for a second before returning to the magazine “I’m surprised he’s so quiet about you, he does talk but you’d think he’d be boasting around like a madman.”

“Well, I asked him to keep the noise to a minimum.” she smiles, “Plus, my father is around the base a lot and he’s still getting used to the idea of myself and Jake.”

Oh how he wanted to be a little fly on the wall to see the reaction of both Cyclone and Jake when they met each other in different circumstances. He had no pleasure thinking about his friend shitting his pants a little bit - okay he was lying, he had a bit of pleasure imagining Jake shaking in his boots as he tells Cyclone he was now dating his daughter. Must’ve been quite a night…for all of them.

“Well, good for you too. He needed someone to slap some sense into him.” he comments, watching Marcus finish his measurements and then hold a pinkish red fabric to her chest, pulling it to the sides so it’d be tight on her body.

That was a beautiful color on her. Any shade of red or pink looked really good on her skin. He crossed his own leg, supporting his ankle atop his knee, casually leaning closer to Evelyn when Beatrice looked away, “Bea’s birthday is next month.” He says quietly, making sure to keep his voice just loud enough for Evelyn to hear.

“I am aware.” she replies in the same tone, “Anything in mind?”

“I was just wondering…had Bea ever had a surprise party? She never told me and it’d be very suspicious to ask about it now.”

Evelyn had an amazing poker face, because she didn’t express any other sentiment, simply held the magazine up to her face to cover her mouth while Rooster did the same with his own hand as if he was supporting his chin, “She hasn’t. You want to give her one?” he nods subtly and Evelyn couldn’t hide her smile now, “She’s going to love it,Rooster. You remember how she reacted when you brought all of us to the bar.”

Evelyn had to give it to him, he was a very interested and caring boyfriend when it came to Beatrice. She had to admit that when she heard about him, she wasn’t expecting him to be the all out type of guy who’d be so into his girlfriend and would go out of his way to make her happy. And she also knew Beatrice would often think it wasn’t needed, maybe even tell Rooster that but she’d love it deep inside. So the idea of a surprise party was very sweet and very romantic too.

“I’d need some help.” he mutters, shifting his eyes surreptitiously towards Evelyn who just looked back with her eyebrow up, “On working on it. I don’t know if I’ll suddenly get deployed during her birthday, I hope not.” he knocks the wood armrest by his side, “But if I do I’d want someone else to take over while I’m gone.”

“And that person would be me?”

“Or Shells–”

“Shells is great but she sometimes gets way too distracted to manage a surprise party.” she explains quickly, “I’ll do it.”

Rooster nods, thanking her without words before his eyes return to Beatrice, who was now holding several different fabric samples in her hands, holding the ones she liked the most - reds, pinks, florals - for Marcus to see. She looks back at the pilot, then talks to Marcus quickly who nods at her and she can step away for a bit.

Rooster straightens himself on the seat, holding back his hands because they almost touched her hips to bring her to his lap out of habit, “I need a second opinion.” she says softly, holding two tiny squares of fabric - one a soft lilac and the other a baby yellow- “I kinda like them both, but what do you guys think?”

“I like the lilac.” he says, “I think it’d look good on you.”

“I agree.” Evelyn says without taking her eyes off the magazine, “You have a yellow undertone to your skin so I think it’d work better that way.”

Beatrice looks at her own wrist, holding the yellow fabric to it and letting out a surprised ‘oh’ when she sees what Evelyn meant, “Oh…okay, thank you guys.” she smiles, leaning down to peck Rooster’s lips, “They are for a bikini.” she whispers against his mouth, pulling back to face his shocked look by biting her lower lip and walking all the way back to where Marcus was. 

Rooster inhales deeply, clearing his throat after as he tries to get rid of the flurry of images that land on his brain, rubbing his jeans clad thighs with his huge hands before he stands to his feet in a flash, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“It’s down the hall.” Evelyn says with a smile, “Go wash up, you need it.” he’s gone before she even finishes the sentence, laughing quietly to herself as she thumbed through the magazine.

[thaliaisalesbian]

i get myself twisted in threads

Chapter 24: it's the last thing you wanted

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25

Steve’s car is already gone by the time Jonathan pulls up to his house. He’s been more forgetful lately, with everything going on. It’s entirely possible that Steve forgot he’s not supposed to be driving. Or maybe he hadn’t been able to sleep and had needed to get out of the house for a while.

It’s fine. He’ll just drive Steve home; Nancy can bring his car back, or they can get it back some other way. One morning of driving won’t hurt him.

Jonathan absolutely doesn’t close his eyes and takes a minute to try and forget the pointed way Mom and Hopper talk about Steve’s parents, the way Steve doesn’t talk about them.

Steve’s fine. He’s probably even over the slight fever he had yesterday. He’ll be at Nancy’s locker, all apologetic with that smile that he pretends he doesn’t know will get him forgiven before he’s even said anything.

Jonathan’s not going to be late by any means, but he still goes a little faster than he should. It’s not like Hopper’s going to give him a ticket.

finish on ao3 or continue reading

“Hey, man, you’re friends with Harrington, right? He’s, like, throwing up in the bathroom and shit, and he looks pretty bad. Flinched when I tried to help him up.”

“Where is he?” It’s Munson, of course it is, but better that he found Steve than Hagan or Hargrove. At least Munson isn’t likely to try and start a fight with Steve. Hagan… well, he might not either, but Jonathan doesn’t trust him. Hargrove has already proven himself the type of guy to kick someone when they’re down. Literally.

He has to stop himself from hopping onto that train of thought. Steve’s sick, or injured, or both, and he can’t go try to beat Hargrove up.

“I’ll show you.” Munson leads the way, and Jonathan realizes that he’s not trying to call attention to himself, as if he’s trying to protect Steve’s privacy.

Steve’s in the far stall, hunched over the toilet.

“Steve?” Jonathan gets as close as he can in the small space without seeming too friendly. His fever is worse than yesterday, Jonathan can feel it from here. He glances over at Munson—his patches, the bandana in his pocket, and decides to risk it.

He doesn’t even know what the color means, but he’s seen it in the zines that some of the drama and band kids pass around discreetly. He doesn’t know where they come from, but by the time it gets to him it wouldn’t matter anyway.

“Baby, you’re still sick, why didn’t you call in?”

“Dad was mad, I can’t miss more school.”

“Look at me, baby.” Steve’s got a nasty black eye; there’s no way he was able to see properly to drive. He might even be seeing double out of his good eye.“I’m going to take you home, okay? Maybe to the hospital, I think you have another concussion. How many is that again?”

“Seven.”

“Seven?” Munson echoes behind him.

“Is Steve in here?”

“‘Arol?”

“What are you doing here?” Jonathan doesn’t see the need to be polite. She and Hagan had both just dumped Steve like he was nothing when he didn’t want to make fun of other kids anymore.

He knows that Steve still misses her, and maybe Hagan a little too, but as far as he’s concerned, they can both stay far away from Steve for the rest of their lives.

“Steve was my best friend growing up. Excuse me for being concerned.” She snaps back, kneeling on Steve’s other side. “Oh, honey.”

“‘Arol.”

“Yeah, it’s me. Your parents were home yesterday; that was weird.”

“Followed me this morning, made sure I come here.”

“Park your car at mine. Your parents like me, they don’t have any problems with me.” 

“Not true. Dad thinks you’re… you’re a bad influence. Dolls?”

“Then Tommy’s, I’ll make him let you. Someone he can’t object to. It’ll be safer. Tommy brought me today, I’ll drive your car back.” She pulls his keys out of his pocket, like it’s something she does every day, like she’s not afraid that he and Munson will tell people she did it.

Then again, she did run into the boys’ bathroom after her former best friend, so she must not care what people are thinking of her right now.

Jonathan has more important things to worry about to spend time wondering what Carol Perkins is thinking right now.

It’s not like they’d believe anything he or Munson says, anyway.

“K.”

Jonathan is not going to pretend to have understood… that. He just knows that if he had his way, Carol and Hagan would have nothing to do with this situation, not even just parking Steve’s car at one of their houses.

“Munson, help me get him up.” Between the two of them, they get Steve on his feet, if unsteadily.

He’s walking, and that’s something.

(An unhelpful voice reminds him that Steve had walked on bitten-up ankles for weeks and barely flinched. Steve walking is probably not a great metric.)

“What are you doing here before class even starts? I’m not giving you a pass for the day.” The nurse doesn’t even turn around.

“His left eye is swollen shut.” Munson says, before he can. “He can hardly stand on his own.” Jonathan doesn’t let Steve lay down on the bed—they’re not staying long, and it will be harder to get him up again.

“Thanks, Munson.”

“Yeah.”

The nurse can’t do anything for Steve, so she lets Jonathan take him. She probably shouldn’t, but normal behavior seems to have gone out the window for everyone today.

Besides, he’s pretty sure if it were anyone other than Steve, she’d call their parents. She’d have to, right?

“No hospital.”

“Steve, come on. This is bad. You’ve got a fever, you were throwing up.” It’s probably just a stomach bug, but Jonathan doesn’t want to risk anything. He doesn’t even know where else Steve is hurt. What if his ribs are damaged?

“I can’t, Jonathan. I can’t. They’ll be mad.”

“Okay. I’ll take you home, then. My house.” He leaves a quick note in Nancy’s locker, letting her know what’s up.

Mom’s got the later shift today, so she’ll still be home.

He needs her to be home.

Jonathan’s helped take care of Will when he’s sick before, he’s wrapped his own injuries when Lonnie used to hit him before, but for some reason this feels like it’s too much for him to handle.

Where are Jonathan and Steve? They were supposed to meet in the library before class started, but they never showed up.

She hasn’t seen them in the halls, either.

If something had happened before school, Jonathan probably would have tried to call her. Will hadn’t said anything when she and Mike had met him on their bikes on the way in.

It’s the first time she’s biked to school in a long while, but she’d wanted to be at school before Jonathan and Steve to set up a little surprise. It also meant carrying her books for her morning classes all day, since she waited so long in the library that she didn’t get a chance to drop any of them off at her locker.

Maybe they just got a slow start, or maybe Steve’s in the office for a while after being out of school for so long.

That’s the one thing Nancy is holding on to, at least until lunchtime. That’s when she’ll know for sure if they’re here or not.

They don’t show up at lunch, either.

Okay, so something’s happened, then. If it were a car crash, or a fight, or something like that, she would have heard about it by now.

So it’s nothing like that.

She keeps her head down as she eats, but she’s still paying attention to what’s going on around her.

Carol and Tommy keep looking her way, and Munson’s group is sitting at the end of her table today. If she felt like causing a scene today, she’d go and ask them what they think they know.

But she doesn’t, and beneath the dread building with each bite she takes, she’s shoving down a strange numbness.

Nancy switches out her books at the end of lunch, only half-hoping that there will be some sort of clue in her locker. If she lets herself hold on to too much hope, and there’s nothing there, she’s just going to go out and find them herself.

That's when she sees the note, her name written on the front messily in some semblance of Jonathan’s handwriting—finally, finally, she has something. The dread dissipates a little, and relief sweeps the numbness away.

‘Steve’s really sick, but he still drove himself in. I’m taking him home, my mom should be there.’ Nancy has to stop herself from running to the bathroom; she’s not actually going to throw up, probably, it’s just the reforming knot of dread in her stomach and the new ache of worry in her chest that are making her feel that way.

Okay, so that answers that. Jonathan probably hadn’t had time to come and tell her, not if Steve was sick. Her locker is on the way out.

They’d known he was sick, though. Yesterday he’d still seemed okay; Jonathan had said he felt warm but a fever doesn’t have to mean full-blown illness.

Nancy still wants to leave right away, but she knows she can’t; the school will call her mom and then she’d never get the chance to go over to Jonathan’s after school and see how things are going.

She’s going to have to force herself to get through the rest of the day without knowing how things are going.Nancy’s never been very good at waiting.

<- 23 25 ->

[little-tyrant-gortash]

Oathbreaker

Pairing: fem!Tav x Enver Gortash, fem!Tav/Astarion

Tags: Emotional Manipulation, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Paladin Tav (Baldur's Gate), Vaginal Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Drunk Sex, Unrequited Love, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Scars, Blood and Injury, Injury, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Torture, Psychological Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture

Word count: 2,325

Ao3 here.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4.

Chapter 5.

Chapter 6.

Chapter 7.

Chapter 8.

Chapter 9.

Chapter 10.

Chapter 11.

Chapter 12.

Chapter 13.

Chapter 14.

Chapter 15.

Chapter 16.

Chapter 17.

Chapter 18.

Chapter 19.

Chapter 20.

Chapter 21.

Chapter 22.

Chapter 23.

Chapter 24.

Chapter 25.

Chapter 26.

Chapter 27.

Chapter 28.

Chapter 29.

Chapter 30.

Chapter 31.

Chapter 32. ⬇

Chapter 33.

Chapter 32: His Glimmer of Hope

After a healing potion or two, the entire ordeal was finished. They went back to camp – even Astarion, who didn't look like he wanted to say his goodbyes, but at the moment, they did not mind his company. After all, he was helpful, and she saved Tav's life, in the end.

Tav was aware that sooner or later Gortash must've realised that she was lying about how she wanted to spend her day. She was also aware that he'd send as many soldiers as possible to find her faster. Which was why she wanted to get back to Wyrm's Rock Fortress as soon as she could. Alas, as soon as they arrived, she had to get her armour off and lie down to rest.

Perhaps she was lucky, and he didn't notice that she was gone at all.

She couldn't be further away from the truth.

It only took him about an hour to get back to his chambers to check up on her between two meetings. And when he couldn't find her, he spiraled into a thought process that did not want to stop. It just went on and on and on without a pause; worse and worse case scenarios flashing and popping up in his mind, rendering him utterly useless when it came to focus that morning. He decided to postpone whatever plans he had until she returned.

But then… will she return? The doubt was agonizing.Would she come back to him? Did he completely screw it up – but when, how and why?! It did not make sense at all.

As he retreated in his underground office where he had the slate which he used to see what was happening around her, he learned quite quickly that those who were spying on another would burn themselves. Because the first thing he saw was Astarion's smug face, and at that sight, rage started to bubble in the pit of Gortash's gut immediately. Did she leave just to spend time with her previous partner? Really?!

"Lying to the love of your life? Naughty, naughty girl."

Gortash tilted his head and frowned. What was he talking about?

"I have my reasons. I don't expect you to understand."

"I know of your reasons", Astarion purred with a smile that made Gortash clench his hand into a fist, making the golden claws dig deep into his palm. "I know you very well. More than you'd like to admit to any of us."

"Bah, you're all words as always!"

"Do you think your scent hasn't changed? And do you think I can't hear that there are-"

"Astarion!"

"-three heartbeats beating in your body?"

Gortash had to put the slate down. The pictures and the voices ceased immediately, and he had to stare up at the empty wall in front of him to detach himself from his emotions. It took him a remarkable few minutes to regain his composure. Even one child was a frightening thought, but two? Of course, Astarion could've lied, but what if he said the truth? He couldn't help it, though, he had to know more, so he picked up the slate, muttered the spell again, and continued to listen.

"Does Gortash at least know about", Karlach motioned at Tav's lower stomach, "this?"

"Of course he does."

"And you sneaked off to fight a shape shifter without telling him?!"

"It's better for all of us if he doesn't know, okay?! We've established already that only we can get rid of her, so why would it be good for him to spend the entire day in stress?! He has enough to worry about. I didn't want to add to it. It's better for both of us this way."

Now anger started to rise in his chest, unstoppable, as a dragon; spitting fire and venom in it's rage. Was it better for both of them, really? That he didn't know about her doing something like this, that she went down there, without him knowing?! He could've sent Fists with her to aid her in her fight. He could've went with her himself! After all, he honoured his alliance with Orin for as long as it suited him, and if she threatened Tav, he had no reason to honour it anymore. They belonged together; whoever threatened her, threatened him, and he'd retaliate that.

"And what about Orpheus?" Lae'zel asked quietly.

Orpheus? Gortash furrowed his brows. He could recall the story, and it was curious that Tav was involved even in that.

"We'll free Orpheus. I promised you we would. But we must deal with Orin first. I'm tired of her threats, and more importantly – we must save Gale! So can we please just move on?!"

Gale. As if Astarion near her wasn't bad enough, she was running off to face whatever danger lied ahead to save Gale!

He dropped the slate, this time. Thankfully, it did not break.

But the desk did when he punched it, full force.

His fingers hurt, but he didn't care as he picked up the slate again. He could try to track her down down there… but it'd be risky to go after her. After all, how would he explain himself? How could he tell her that he'd been looking after her ever since he'd given her the altered armour? No, he must wait it out. He must just sit and watch and hope she'd prove herself worthy enough for Bane. If she succeeded down there now, she would be allowed to keep her soul. And he wanted that. He really did.

He picked up the slate again, muttered the spell, and watched as she fought herself through the first group, then the way she faced Orin's Slayer form. Her tactic coupled with Astarion's attack seemed remarkably useful. And when she taunted Bhaal, Gortash actually smiled.

The moment they were back in the city, he's sent a group of Banites to fetch her.

Not Fists. Not Steel Watchers. Banites. People he trusted more than anyone else around himself.

So when those Banites showed up in her camp and told her that she'd need to immediately go to Wyrm's Rock Fortress, Enver felt slightly bad for her. As soon as she arrived back in the camp and tiredly peeled the Reaper's Embrace off of her body, she had to lie down to rest. She set the armour in a way that he could see her; she looked bad, worse than she did in the morning, and he could imagine that seeing Orin in that form, coupled with the fight itself, must've taken a toll on her.

He should've waited until he sent his men to bring her back.

But at the same time, he was furious at her.

Is that compassion?

Gortash froze as he was just standing up from his chair. A second later pure agony coursed through his veins, and Gortash collapsed on his hands and knees. The punishment didn't take longer than ten seconds, but during that time, he went through the pain of being skinned alive, from head to toe; every inch of him, all at once. He panted and tears pricked his eyes as he pressed his forehead against the ground. And he prayed and prayed and prayed he'd obey. He couldn't slip, not now, not when he was so close. Bane silently enjoyed to hear the promises of obedience; he'd soon put it to the test.

Don't forget who you are. Without me, you are nothing.

Gortash could hear something dripping. For a few seconds, he couldn't even open his eyes. He slowly sat back up on his knees, still panting, then he glanced down at the small pool of blood. Reaching up to his face, he discovered that his nose was still bleeding. He rubbed the tears away from his bloodshot eyes with his palms.

He shoved his feelings for her away from himself, focusing on his anger instead.

She borrowed a backpack from Shadowheart and put a few things away. Her hands shaking still from exhaustion, she tried to hurry as the masked men with a black hand on the surface of their helmets didn't look exactly friendly.

"I'm having second thoughts", Karlach mentioned, eyeing the figures at the edge of the camp as she stopped in front of Tav's tent. Tav hummed in response. "Are you sure this is the best course of action? Really aligning with Gortash? What if he betrays us?"

Tav was biting on her lower lip as she slipped the Netherstones in the backpack, then checked the blade of the Knife of the Undermountain King. She didn't even use it when she was fighting Orin. With a small smile, she placed the sword in the backpack, too.

"I don't know, Karlach. I don't think I have any choice at this point."

"What do you mean?" The tiefling tilted her head and Tav looked up at her.

"If he betrays us, I'll have to choose. Do I betray you all, or do I betray him?" She paused, glancing at her hands. "I can't do either."

Karlach waited a moment as she observed Tav's expression.

"Be honest", she whispered, crouching in front of Tav. "Do you love him?"

Tav bit into her lower lip again before tears flooded her eyes.

"I do", she admitted, "so much... it hurts... because I know what he is, and I can't change him..."

"What if we can?" The tiefling grinned now. "I totally would drag his sorry ass to the light for you."

"I don't think he'd want that…" Tav sniffed, then broke down.

Karlach was silent for a few minutes, allowing Tav to cry, then she smiled slightly and put her hand on Tav's shoulder.

"Hey. Chin up. We're with you, until the end, alright? If he's a stubborn mule and it comes to that, we'll take the fight to Bane himself, huh?"

Tav laughed a little at that, while she was still crying.

"I have my doubts we could kill a god, but I appreciate your words, Karlach. Thank you."

"Anytime", the tiefling smiled, then she got up. "You better hurry. I'm sure he's upset that you've left without his permission. I'm also sure you'll have a lot to explain."

"Uh... not sure I can do anything other than just collapsing in a bed."

She sighed as she picked up the Blood of Lathander and the backpack, then left her tent. The summer sun was warm against her skin, and she took a moment to close her eyes and enjoy it. She could feel the summer on the wind.

"I'll contact you", she told to Karlach, then. "We still have work to do."

"I know", Karlach nodded. "Stay safe, soldier."

"You, too."

She joined the group of Banites who silently surrounded her from all directions, then walked her back to Wyrm's Rock Fortress. The tension just built and built within her, especially when she saw how Gortash was waiting for her in the audience hall, at the end of the red carpet.

"You have the stones", he noted. Tav noticed his eyes were more bloodshot than earlier. He raised his hand and clenched his hand into a fist, showing her the gauntlet. "They resonate with my own."

As he lowered his hand, his expression changed. It lacked warmth; only cold determination could be seen in his dark eyes. The other Banites closed in on them, and she could hear a Steel Watcher step behind her as well. Tav's heart stilled for a moment. This was it. The moment of truth. When he would turn against her… when he would kill her for the stones to take control over the Elder Brain himself…?

" I commend you for putting an end to Orin's madness - she must be screaming bloody murder in the Hells even now." He paused, then laughed quietly, narrowing his eyes at her. "You've done me a great service. Thank you. Now…"

She said nothing, just waited for him to continue. Enver held his right hand out, waiting.

"Hand me the Netherstones, Tav."

She waited. She waited for this nightmare to end. Everything about him – every expression, motion, word, the way he stood, screamed that he'd kill her if she didn't do as told.

But she'd been through unimaginable horrors. She'd seen too much, heard too much, lived through too much. Every muscle in her body tensed, and she slowly raised her right hand to rest it on the handle of the Blood of Lathander, attached to her hips.

"Taking it into consideration that I bled for both", she stated, "my answer is no. You keep your stone, I'll keep mine."

If it was possible, she paled even further when she saw that his expression changed for the worse. He furrowed his dark brows and stared down at her with a fury.

"I'm not here for games. Hand me the stones, or face the black hand of Lord Bane."

Tav could feel her heart beat in her throat. Her hand locked onto the pommel of the Blood of Lathander. How easily he played her! Faked every emotion for her, the lust, the false promises. The betrayal felt like ice in her veins. She felt sick of herself for being so stupid. She never had a future with him – she never had a chance to have a family of her own. Her heart shattered, she could barely keep herself back from breaking down crying.

The Blood of Lathander felt warm under her palm. It always radiated warmth, but she sensed it more, now. When she closed her eyes to gather her strength, making him wait a few seconds, she saw a vision… of the hills where the Rosymorn Monastery was.

Refuse, a voice she'd never heard before, whispered in the back of her mind.

And that voice gave her power. Hope. She opened her eyes and stared back at Gortash, who was still waiting for her to answer. Tav swallowed and braced herself.

"Never."

[snowdice]

Big Bang Editing Story [Day 109]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51

Not going to do this for much today, but I want to finish the chapter.

Chapter 52 (Mr. Deknis)

It was Jeffers Deknis’s second busiest time of year right after the fall harvest. However, unlike the fall harvest, not all of his workers were yet at the castle. The winter had been harsh and while the last snowfall had been a month ago, many of his workers whose families lived far from the castle had sent word they would be late arriving for various reasons. A few were dealing with sick relatives and others had to help fix things broken by storms for their families before making the trek. One who lived in the mountains up north was still snowed in.

So, he was dealing with only about 70% of his usual staff, meaning he was even busier than he usually was in the spring.

However, despite how busy he was, he didn’t mind taking a bit of time out of his schedule to help plant a little plot of land he’d reserved for a special selection of plants.

Virgil has spent a lot of time deciding on what plant he wanted to grow in the plot Jerffers had given him. He’d combed through multiple books even though it quickly became clear he couldn’t read well and talked to Jeffers about his options extensively before finally coming to a decision.

He’d decided on a flower called Zygopetalum maculatum which was a type of orchid. It wouldn’t be an easy flower to grow considering they didn’t naturally have the right climate for it, but with a bit of magical fertilizer and ruins in the ground near them, it was feasible.

Since Virgil had chosen his flower, Jeffers had dedicated a bit of his time each day to explaining what they needed to do for it to grow and had set him up with the correct materials. Virgil had spent a good chunk of the last two weeks outside on his marked off plot of land doing as instructed to get the soil in the right condition.

Sometimes Logan and Patton joined him and sometimes he was alone, but he was clearly dedicated to his task. Jeffers had stopped by and tested the soil the day before and found it was adequately prepared for planting Virgil’s flowers and had told the boy as much.

Despite being already very busy, Jeffers had allowed for an hour out of his schedule to help Virgil plant his flowers this afternoon.

Even though Jeffers had told him exactly where in his schedule he’d made time for it, Virgil had come early.

Very early.

He’d stalked Jeffers’ footsteps all day. If the boy were a cat, Jeffers would have assumed he’d accidentally left a slice of meat in his back pocket after breakfast.

Jeffers ended up letting him help with a few other things in the morning which he seemed to enjoy. He seemed to appreciate planting things even if they weren’t his flowers. He was also good at it if a bit slower than necessary in his caution to make sure he didn’t mess anything up.

Jeffers ended up sending Patton to get an extra packed lunch from Helen for Virgil (as people didn’t like when the gardeners tracked mud into the dinning hall) and they ended up eating while sitting on the base of the fountain by the plot of land Virgil had been tending to.

The water in the fountain was now flowing, having recently been cleaned and turned on and birds were chirping in the distance. It was a nice, calming environment. This was why Jeffers liked to spend so much time outside. Or at least, it was one of the reasons.

There was a soft meow from beside them that drew Jeffers’ attention. Jeffers looked down to see one of the castle’s many cats standing on its hind legs with one of its paws on the fountain’s base. It was staring at them expectantly. Jeffers recognized the yellow stripped cat as one of the friendlier ones that Patton had tamed as a kitten. It meowed again when it saw him looking.

“What?” Jeffers asked it, raising one eyebrow. “I know you’re not starving.”

It meowed again in complaint. Then it turned to Virgil. Virgil was instantly tearing off a bit of his chicken sandwich to feed to the cat.

“You don’t need to feed him,” Jeffers said. “Patton takes care of that plenty well.”

Despite what Jeffers had said, the cat gobbled up the piece of chicken Virgil had fed him like he was starving.

“It’s Buttercup,” Virgil informed Jeffers. The name vaguely rang a bell.

“You remember all of Patton’s names for them?” Jeffers asked, honestly impressed. There were so many cats.

Virgil nodded and ripped off another piece of chicken. The cat went flying at it with gusto.

“Keep some for yourself too,” Jeffers said. “You look less fed than the cats.” Thankfully he was looking more fed than he had at the beginning of winter.

“But he’s hungry,” Virgil replied with a frown.

“He’s a glutton is what he is,” Jeffers said. “He’s already had his lunch by now I’d imagine and is more than free to hunt down rodents in the barn if he needs a snack.”

Virgil frowned and gave the cat another piece of chicken.

“You’re too good of a kid,” Jeffers said with an eyeroll.

Virgil just frowned at him and took a bite of his sandwich for himself this time.

“Make sure to eat extra dinner if you’re going to feed the cats your lunch,” Jeffers said. “Though I’m sure Helen will be feeding you extra by default when she hears you’ve been helping me in the garden all day.”

“I’m fine,” Virgil said, stubbornly. He took another bite of his sandwich and fed another to the cat.

Jeffers considered him. ‘Fine,’ was a very vague word and his powers didn’t ping on it as a lie because it could mean a variety of things. He had a feeling Virgil knew that.

Jeffers wasn’t a fool. The kids had been talking around his powers about something all summer, though he couldn’t figure out what exactly it was about. Virgil was almost as good at it as Logan. Maybe he was even better.

“Not hungry enough to eat the entire sandwich by yourself then?” Jeffers asked.

Instead of replying verbally, Virgil just shrugged. Clever little bastard.

Jeffers sighed. Helen had packed some of the canned peaches in their lunches, so Jeffers pulled his out and set the container next to the boy. Virgil looked at the offering in surprise.

“Cats don’t eat peaches,” he cautioned. “It’s bad for their digestion.”

“I don’t need to take your food,” Virgil said with a frown.

“Yeah, you do,” said Jeffers. “I’m and old man, not a growing boy. You should eat them.”

Virgil frowned and looked like he was about to argue.

“Eat your lunch so we can plant your flowers kid,” Jeffers huffed.

Virgil hesitated, but the idea of getting to plant his flowers seemed to trump his desire to argue with Jeffers about lunch and he picked up the dish of peaches.

Jeffers went about finishing what was left of his lunch as Virgil continued to eat his own. The cat ran off when it noticed there was no more meat available.

Jeffers rolled his eyes. The thing was probably running off to go scam more people out of their lunch. Patton had spoiled them far too much and they were too good at making cute starving expressions.

“Alright,” Jeffers said once they were done. “Are you ready to plant your orchids.”

Virgil nodded eagerly and Jeffers packed away their trash before getting up.

“Good,” Jeffers said. “You have all of the supplies I told you we needed gathered?”

Virgil nodded and started to list off everything that Jeffers had said.

“Then, we can get started planting,” Jeffers said with a smile.

  Chapter 53 (Virgil)

Virgil and Mr. Deknis took their time planting the orchids. Virgil had done everything Mr. Deknis had instructed him to do with the plot of land prior to planting. He’d had Mr. Deknis write it all down, so Logan could read him the instructions each morning, and had dutifully followed each step. The sheet of paper was in Virgil’s pocket even now. He knew the words so well at this point that he could have recited each list item even if it had words he still couldn’t read.

It had been hard work getting the soil just right for the flowers he wanted to plant, but it was fun hard work. Working hard was different when he didn’t have to do something but wanted to do something. He’d also noticed it was easier to do physical labor when he wasn’t hungry, something he hadn’t been all winter in the castle.

He’d thought since he hadn’t been training as much as usual over the winter months that he’d be weaker when Spring came, but he actually felt stronger and had much more energy.

He’d also grown taller without realizing it thanks to Logan’s nutrition potion. He’d noticed when he’d been in the shed earlier. When he’d first hid in the shed upon arriving at the castle the previous fall, he’d been able to walk under all of the hanging tools in the back. Today, he’d hit his head on some of the them.

His body had changed a lot in the past few months. It made planting with Mr. Deknis much easier.

Virgil had already helped Mr. Deknis with planting some vegetables this Spring, but he still was careful to pay attention as the gardener showed him how to plant the first few orchid bulbs.

Then, Virgil was handed the container of bulbs for himself to try planting. Mr. Deknis watched him plant the first few orchids and Virgil glanced up for approval before moving on each time. He always got a nod and small smile.

Eventually, Mr. Deknis took a few bulbs himself to the opposite end of the patch of soil and started planting some himself, trusting Virgil to plant his portion of the flowers right without supervision. Virgil couldn’t help but be happy about the show of trust given to him.

“Good job,” Mr. Deknis said after the two of them had planted two rows of orchids. “You’ve got an eye for planting things.”

“Thanks,” Virgil said bashfully.

“How old are you again?”

“I’m 14,” Virgil said, unsure why he was asking.

Mr. Deknis nodded. “Maybe in a few years you’ll want to get a job as one of the gardeners here,” he said. “I could always use one who knows how to respect plants like you and with how much you’ve been volunteering to help already, you’ll know a good amount by then.”

“Really?” Virgil asked.

Mr. Deknis nodded.

“Why not now?”

“You’re only 14,” Mr. Deknis said. “You don’t need to worry about working. I’m happy to let you tag along and watch or even help a bit with planting when you want, but you should just be a kid.”

That confused Virgil. He’d been considered out of training to be an assassin as soon as he’d turned 14-years-old last fall. Now he was being told he needed to wait a few years to help plant seeds?

“I could do it,” Virgil said.

“I know you could,” Mr. Deknis said, “but you don’t need to. Have a little fun this summer.”

“But I want to,” Virgil said.

Mr. Deknis huffed out a laugh. “I know,” he said, “and you can feel free to care for your orchids and help me out all you want, but no jobs until you’re at least 16.”

“It’s better than any other jobs I’ve had,” Virgil muttered, honestly annoyed he couldn’t become a gardener right now because of his age.

Mr. Deknis raised an eyebrow. “And what other jobs have you had?”

Virgil froze. That was not a good line of questioning. “Uh…” Virgil said and Mr. Deknis’s expression was changing in an alarming way. “Different things. I’ve carried things for people and, uh, cleaned.”

“Carried things and cleaned, huh?” Mr. Desknis said. It felt like he wasn’t only testing Virgil’s words for lies but observing his face and posture too.

Virgil should be good at lying. He should. That was a major part of being an assassin, but Virgil had started to slip after spending so long around people who were not a danger to him.

At least not a danger to him as long as he didn’t get caught in a lie.

He’d been sloppy with the way he’d frozen when asked a question and with the stuttering. He should have been prepared; he was prepared for the next question.

“You only had to carry things and clean some things up?” Mr. Deknis asked, his eyebrows still raised.

Virgil carefully smoothed out his face, forcing his shoulder to relax as he shrugged. “And some other things,” he said easily. Not a lie. He could feel his heart race anyway.

Mr. Deknis’s eyes bored into him for a long moment and then he titled his head to the side and squinted at him.

Virgil just shot him a small smile. “Can we finish planting the flowers, please?” he asked politely. “I was very excited about it and would like to finish it today.”

Mr. Deknis did not reply for a long moment, and Virgil was careful to keep his expression blank.

Finally, the gardener relented, breaking his stare. If this was because he believed Virgil or not was unclear.

“Yeah, kid,” he said slowly. “Let’s finish planting your flowers.”

Virgil nodded, and he didn’t have to lie as much now as cautious eagerness returned to him. He really did want to finish planting his flowers in addition to stopping Mr. Deknis from asking uncomfortable questions about where Virgil had come from.

Mr. Deknis nodded to the bag of bulbs. They went back to work planting the flowers, but Virgil could feel Mr. Deknis’s eyes on him almost constantly. He had a feeling that this time, he wasn’t watching for how well Virgil was planting the bulbs, but something else.

Virgil was careful to not let his mask slip at all the entire time.

When they were finished planting Virgil’s entire plot of land, they cleaned up the equipment and stored it back away in the garden shed.

Another day Virgil might have stayed and helped Mr. Deknis with other things. Today he was still trying to cover for his bad lying earlier, however, so, Virgil decided to just go back to the castle and shower.

To his surprise Mr. Deknis also started walking off in the direction of the castle.

“Don’t you have more planting to do?” Virgil asked when they got to the door. He knew the man was very busy and his workday was only a bit more than half over.

“I do,” Mr. Deknis confirmed, “but I needed to talk to the king about something first.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. “Okay. I’m going to go shower.”

Mr. Deknis nodded. “I’ll see you sometime later then,” he said.

“Thank you for helping me plant the orchids.”

Mr. Deknis smiled slightly at that. “Anytime, kid.”

  Chapter 54 (Patton)

“I still can’t believe he’s allowing this,” King Thomas said from next to Patton. The two of them were standing at the edge of the arena outside the horse stable, watching from a safe distance.

“If he hadn’t tried to bite me earlier, I’d think he was a different horse,” Patton agreed.

“He doesn’t even let Logan ride him,” the king said. “At least not ride him and give him directions.”

Patton was very aware of that. Logan did on occasion choose to get up onto Mr. Apple’s saddle. However, Mr. Apples was always the once who got to decide where they went after that. Logan had no say.

 With that in mind, Patton, Logan, and every stable hand who’d heard about the prospective riding lessons had tried to convince Virgil to learn to ride on a different horse. Virgil was just as stubborn as Mr. Apples however and had insisted. Logan, being the only one who could be around Mr. Apples without risk had become his defacto tutor.

Not even Logan could have expected that within a week, Virgil would be able to control Mr. Apples. Though perhaps ‘control’ was the wrong word. Nothing could control Mr. Apples, but for some reason, Mr. Apples seemed willing to do as Virgil asked.

 Even right now Mr. Apples was trotting around the training arena like he was a well-trained trick horse warming up with its rider.

“Logan told him we could go on an actual ride today if the lesson went well,” Patton told the king. The lesson seemed to be just getting over because Logan said something to Virgil and Virgil started to climb off. Mr. Apples was patient and still as he dismounted.

“Do you think he’d mind if I went with you?” King Thomas asked.

Patton shrugged. “Mr. Apples might.”

“Mr. Apples definitely will,” the king replied. “I’ll come anyway.”

 Logan had walked over to where Patton and the king were standing while Virgil fed Mr. Apples some apple pieces as a reward.

“I hear you are going to go riding today,” king Thomas said.

Logan nodded. “Mr. Apples seems to listen to him well enough,” he said.

“I might join you if that’s alright. Where are you kids going?” the king asked.

“I was thinking the main forest path,” Logan replied. “It’s not a particularly difficult route, but it’s also a part of the castle grounds Virgil hasn’t been able to see yet. Loraine told me it has been recently cleared after the winter.”

 “That sounds like a good idea,” the king said. “Are you going now?”

“Once Patton and I saddle up our horses,” Logan said. “You can come.”

“Great,” the king said with a smile. “I’ll ask for Bella’s saddle to be brought out. I haven’t gone on a ride yet this week.”

He turned then to walk towards the stables leaving Patton and Logan alone.

“Do you think he’s been acting weird?” Logan asked, turning towards Patton.

Patton frowned. “No,” he said. “Not really.”

“I’m just wondering why he wants to go horseback riding with us.”

“He likes spending time with you?” Patton guessed.

 “Yes,” Logan said, “but typically in a setting that doesn’t involve Mr. Apples.”

Well, that was fair.

“I mean, it’s not too weird,” Patton said, thinking back through the last couple of days. King Thomas had been a bit… clingy.

“He’s been hanging around a lot,” Logan said, echoing Patton’s thoughts with narrowed eyes. He glanced back at Virgil. “You don’t think Virgil let something slip, do you?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Patton said. “I think your dad would say something if he let slip he was an assassin somehow.”

“Unless he let slip something that didn’t quite implicate himself but invited suspicion.”

 “Your dad doesn’t seem suspicious,” Patton said. At least, Patton didn’t think he did. He hadn’t been acting mean in any way. In fact, he might have even been acting nicer.

Logan frowned. “We should keep an eye on him, especially around Virgil.”

Patton bit his lip.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Are we ever going to tell your dad about Virgil?” he asked.

Logan hesitated. “I don’t…” he trailed. “I’m not sure.”

“It just feels weird lying for so long,” Patton said. Patton didn’t lie a lot. Sure, maybe he’d pretend to not know what Mama was talking about when sweets went missing from the kitchens or he’d pretend to not know what Logan’s birthday gift was, but he’d never lied about anything serious before now.

 “I know, but,” Logan glanced back at Virgil once again, “even if we did decide to tell, we’d have to convince Virgil everything would be alright beforehand. I don’t think we’re at that point yet. He was terrified of Father until a few months ago, and he’s still cautious around him sometimes.”

Logan was right, of course. Virgil was getting more and more comfortable around the king, but he figured any of the progress made would go down the drain as soon as they brought up telling King Thomas about where exactly Virgil had come from. Patton didn’t know if Virgil would ever be comfortable enough.

 “We should go get our own horses,” Logan suggested, and Patton nodded.

Patton and Logan’s horses had already been saddled by the stable hands in anticipation of their ride and it didn’t take long for the king to saddle his own horse, Bella.

The forest path at this time of year was very pretty, Patton thought. The tree branches now had small green leaves on them after having been barren for the entire winter and flowers were starting to grow. In a few weeks’ time it would be even prettier, but it would also be harder for the groundskeeper to maintain as well as it was right now.

 Virgil really did seem less anxious around King Thomas now. The path was only wide enough for two horses to go at once, and he didn’t seem to mind that he and the king ended up next to each other while Patton and Logan lagged behind. In fact, he and the king seemed to be having a nice conversation about the local wildlife.

However, if Patton looked close enough, he did sort of see what Logan meant. Virgil may not be anxious talking to the king now, but the king himself seemed just a little bit nervous at least at the beginning of the ride.

 He seemed to relax a bit as they rode (even laughing when Mr. Apples tried to bite him when he got too close).

Logan had been teaching Virgil the basics about things like animals, but there was still a pretty big gap in his education when it came to anything that wasn’t about training to fight and kill. King Thomas seemed more than willing to answer any of his questions when it came to the animals and plants around them even if they were sometimes a bit silly.

He’d seen a bird that looked like a dove. (It may have even been a dove, but Patton hadn’t seen it.) This had been a source of endless confusion for him.

 “But shouldn’t it live in the dovecote?” Virgil asked.

“Not all birds live in a dovecote,” the king explained again.

“But it’s a dove,” Virgil said with a frown.

“Not all doves live in a dovecote,” the king replied.

“But it’s a dovecote,” Virgil argued. “It’s for the doves.”

“Yes, but there are also wild doves,” the king said.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Virgil replied.

“What about it doesn’t make sense?” the king asked with a laugh in his tone.

“Doves go in the dovecote,” Virgil said.

Patton was starting to have trouble following this argument.

“Dovecotes are made for doves,” the king said, “but not all doves go in dovecotes.”

“Why?”

[spnhunter4life]

So Long Chapter 7

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: The chapter count has gone up to 9. This chapter is all about a case, and I originally planned to start and finish it in one chapter, but things got way longer than I expected. It ended up being almost 12k, so I decided to split it into two. I hope everyone enjoys! I'm really excited about these next chapters!

Series Masterlist

So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We’ve known it since we were young So why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I’m home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? 

Ages 24 and 25 August 2004

I sipped at the coffee I’d ordered, a second one for Dean sitting across the table. We were stopped at a diner for breakfast, but he hadn’t come in yet. Just as we’d pulled in, Dean’s phone started ringing. He told me to go ahead and get us a table and he’d be right in.

I scanned the articles in the newspaper I was reading, looking for a possible case. I’d already been through the obits and none of them looked like supernatural deaths, so I was hoping I could catch something somewhere else in the paper, unlikely as it may be. I heard the little bell above the door ring and a few seconds later Dean was sliding into the seat across from me.

“Find anything yet?” He asked

“It’s not looking promising,” I told him.

“Good,” he said, taking the newspaper from me. He closed it and set it on the table. “That was Bobby. He’s got something for us.”

I was about to ask what it was when the waiter, noticing Dean’s arrival, came to take our order. Dean spent approximately five seconds looking at the menu before spouting off his order of sausage, bacon, and eggs. I ordered an omelet and hash browns.

“What did Bobby say?” I asked when the waiter was gone.

“There’s this five star hotel in Idaho. They hold these retreats three times a year, one in March, one in August, and one in December. It’s something they started six years ago. And every year for those six years, people have gone missing during the August retreat, which just so happens to take place in two days,” he explained.

“How come nobody’s noticed? You’d think people would stop coming when they realized there was a high risk of being murdered.”

“You would think,” he said. “But the hotel’s done a good job of covering it up. Bobby had to dig pretty deep to find this information. I’m honestly not sure how he caught onto it in the first place.”

“How do you cover up six disappearances? Especially at such a high profile place?” I wondered.

“Are you kidding? That’s exactly how. It’s high profile. They have money and connections. Makes it a lot easier to hide things.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I agreed. “Well it definitely sounds like something’s going on there, but there’s nothing that makes it sound like our kind of case.”

“Maybe not. But we’ve gone off of less. Besides,” he continued. “We kind of have to go. Bobby’s already got us registered for it.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“It’s a retreat at a five star hotel, Jenna. That’s not something you can just sign up for last minute.”

“No, I guess not. Alright,” I sighed. “What kind of retreat is it?”

Dean cleared his throat and shifted in his seat a little.

“Well, in March it’s a business retreat. A thing companies can bring their employees to for ‘team building,’” he said sarcastically, putting air quotes around the words. “And in December it’s sort of a family holiday thing.”

“And in August?” I prompted. 

“Um,” he looked down at the table. “In August, it’s a uh… couple’s retreat.”

My breath caught and I felt my heart stop for a second. 

“Oh,” I managed to say. “Okay. You know,” I continued after a short pause. “Idaho is halfway across the country. Wasn’t there anyone closer Bobby could have asked?” 

“According to him, no.” Dean responded. “Apparently pairs of hunters are in short supply. Most of them work alone. And there’s even less available that could pass as a married couple.”

“Right. Well I guess we better eat quick and start driving,” I said.

Dean hesitated for a minute before answering.

“I already told Bobby we’d do it. But… I’m sure he’ll manage to find someone else if it makes you that uncomfortable.”

“No. It’s not that,” I assured him. “It’s just… the whole undercover thing. We’ve never done anything like this before. It makes me a little nervous I guess. Like I’m going to have to be on my guard constantly to make sure I don’t slip up.”

“I get that,” he answered. “But I’d say we know each other well enough to pull it off. We’ll spend the drive there getting our story straight. And also, nobody there is going to be paying that close of attention. They’re going to be too focused on themselves to notice anything about us.”

I knew he was right. And it did make me feel a little better, but that wasn’t my primary concern. A couple’s retreat. With Dean. Pretending to be married to Dean. It was like I was being given everything I’d ever wanted, but with the understanding it would be ripped away from me again in a few days. And even while I had it, it would be clear that it wasn’t real. 

Things would be back to normal any time we had privacy, and even in public things wouldn’t have to be that different. We would smile, tell lies about our “marriage,” maybe even hold hands. It really wouldn’t take more than that to be believable. I wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse. But I would suck it up and do the job. I was an adult and a professional. I could handle it.

~~~~~

“We have a reservation under Young. We’re here for the couple’s retreat,” Dean told the hotel receptionist.

We’d spent the past two days driving all day in order to get here. Dean had relayed the rest of the information Bobby had given him about the case to me, and I’d mentally prepared myself for the next two and a half days. 

We’d pulled into town at 4 o’clock, an hour before our check in time. We found a small little mall on the opposite end of town from the hotel where Dean grudgingly handed over his hard earned poker money in exchange for a couple of new outfits for the both of us and a couple of cheap suitcases. We couldn’t exactly show up to a five star hotel with old rumpled clothes and duffel bags. We both wore rings on our fingers. Dean had switched the ring he always wore from his right hand to his left. I was wearing my mother’s wedding ring. It was something I always kept with me, but I’d never actually worn it before.

“Alright, sir. Here’s your key,” the receptionist chirped as she handed over the plastic card. “You’ll be in suite 802. All of the activities will take place in conference room A, here on the first floor. There is a complimentary dinner being served there at 6:30, provided by the hotel’s restaurant. Enjoy your stay!”

Dean thanked her and we took an elevator up to the eighth floor.

“Wow,” I breathed out at the same time Dean let out a low whistle as we closed the door to our room behind us and looked around.

It had been clear enough from the lobby that this place was very nice, but I still wasn’t expecting the large, open room we stepped into. The floor to ceiling windows showed off a clear view of the city. The bathroom was shiny and clean, boasting a double vanity sink as well as both a walk in shower and a bathtub. The couch looked comfortable and new and was situated in front of a large TV. And the bed was huge. It was king sized with an excessive amount of pillows and a soft looking blue comforter.

“We should stay in places like this more often,” Dean said from where he’d perched on the edge of the mattress. He bounced a couple of times, checking the firmness. 

“Sure,” I agreed. “We’ll just make a few withdrawals from our overflowing bank accounts.”

“Can’t you let a man dream?” he complained.

“Sorry,” I smiled. “It will be nice to sleep in a bed again after two nights in the car though.”

“It’s not that bad. And at least you can stretch out a little bit and fit comfortably,” Dean said as he moved to sit fully on the bed.

“Hey!” I objected, watching him sit up against the headboard and swing his feet onto the bed. “No shoes!”

“What? You’ve never cared about me having shoes on in bed before.”

“Yeah, but I’m not usually sharing the bed with you,” I pointed out. “And,” I added before I could overthink that statement, “the beds aren’t usually this nice.”

Dean just huffed and obediently kicked his shoes off onto the floor.

We had a little over an hour before we were supposed to be in the conference room for dinner. We took turns in the shower since neither of us had been able to in the last couple days. Then we went over our story one more time, making sure we covered everything. This was going to be both the easiest and the hardest role I’d ever had to play for a case.

Our names were Jenna and Dean. Dean was a mechanic and I was a writer for our local paper. We’d met when we were kids. It took Dean a few months after finding out we were soulmates to work up the courage to ask me out. He finally did the summer between junior and senior year. We’d gotten married last year. Any other details we needed could be made up on the spot. We decided to stick to the truth as much as possible to make it more believable.

Once we’d gone over it all again, Dean turned on the TV. We still had 20 minutes to kill. I sat next to him on the couch, trying to pay attention to the episode of Family Feud that was playing, but I couldn’t focus and was having a hard time sitting still. He didn’t seem quite as on edge as I felt, but Dean was fidgety too.

It was almost a relief when 6:30 rolled around. I wasn’t used to feeling uncomfortable at all around Dean, especially to this degree. I was ready to get this started and over with.

We left our room a couple minutes early and strolled into conference room A at 6:30 on the dot. Apparently this couple’s retreat was made up of people that lived by the phrase ‘if you’re not early, you’re late,’ because despite being on time, we were the last ones to arrive.

“Oh good!” Chirped a lady at the front of the room. She was wearing a nametag that identified her as Mallory. A man named Dave was standing next to her and there were five couples seated in a semicircle around them. “Now that everyone is here, we can start!” She gestured to the two empty chairs at the end of the half circle and Dean and I sat.

“I’m Mallory, this is Dave, and we’ll be hosting all the activities for this retreat! Now, before we serve dinner, we wanted to play a couple of little icebreaker games. After all, part of the reason you’re all here is to meet other couples, right?” Mallory said.

There were various head nods and murmurs of agreement from the other couples in the room. Dean and I nodded along.

“So,” Dave said, clapping his hands together loudly. “I want you to pair up with the couple sitting next to you. You’ll split up around the room and you’ll have ten minutes to talk and get to know each other. When time’s up, you’ll all come back here and instead of introducing yourselves, you’ll introduce the other couple!”

I mentally rolled my eyes but pasted a smile on my face. Dean and I walked to one corner of the room with the couple we’d been sitting next to. They looked to be in their early 40s.

“Hi,” the woman smiled, offering her hand. “I’m Stephanie.”

“I’m James,” her husband said, shaking both of our hands after Stephanie.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Dean said politely. “I’m Dean and this is my wife Jenna.”

“So where are you guys from?��� James asked.

“Sioux Falls,” I answered. “South Dakota,” I clarified when I could see them trying to figure out where that was. Dean and I had decided on Sioux Falls for two reasons. One, we didn’t exactly consider Bobby’s place to be our home, but it was probably the closest thing we had to one. Two, while it wasn’t exactly close to Idaho, it was close enough that it was plausible for us to have chosen this place for a weekend away.

“That’s nice,” Stephanie said. “We’re from Ketchum. It’s just a couple hours from here.”

“How long have you guys been together?” I asked.

“We’ve been married fifteen years this month,” James said, smiling at his wife. 

“That’s so great! Congratulations,” I told them. 

“What about you two?” James asked.

“Well we’ve only been married for a little over a year. But we’ve been together for… eight years,” Dean answered, pausing to do the mental math.

“Wow. You look so young! You must have gotten together in high school,” Stephanie commented.

“We did,” I said as I smiled at Dean. “A few months after we both turned 16.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” Stephanie cooed. “But then I have to ask. Did you not know each other before then, or were you just not interested until you realized you were soulmates?”

Dean laughed good naturedly. 

“No, we knew each other,” he said. “And believe me, I was very interested. I just… needed that little boost of confidence I guess. Once I knew she was mine, I couldn’t not do something about it.”

And there it was. These were the kind of conversations that were going to make the next two days extremely painful. I felt my heart racing at Dean’s statement and the very convincing loving smile he was currently wearing as he looked at me and laced his fingers through mine.

“How did you meet?” James asked. I cleared my throat before answering.

“Just in school. When we were ten, Dean’s family moved to Sioux Falls from Kansas. We became friends pretty quickly. How about you?”

“Oh, we didn’t meet until we were 26. I’m a doctor and she was a nurse at the hospital I did my residency at. The details are a little blurry since I was just coming off of a 22 hour shift, but I literally ran into her on my way out the door,” James told us.

“It was a little tricky trying to build a new relationship between our crazy schedules, but we made it work,” Stephanie added.

“What do you guys do?” James asked.

We passed the rest of our ten minutes this way, taking turns asking and answering questions. When Dave called time up, we walked back over to the semicircle of chairs we’d started out in.

“Alright,” Dave said enthusiastically when we were all seated. “It looked like everybody was having good conversations. I’m excited to see what you learned about each other! Why don’t we start on this end?” He suggested, gesturing towards Dean and me.

“Um, ok,” I said unsurely as Dean and I stood back up. 

“This is Stephanie and James,” I said, gesturing to the couple that had stood up with us. “They’re from… Ketchum?” I questioned, looking to them to make sure I got it right. Stephanie nodded encouragingly. “He’s a doctor, she’s a nurse. They’ve been married for fifteen years.”

“They met at the hospital they were both working at. They have two kids and a dog,” Dean continued, taking over for me much to my relief. He listed a few more facts that we’d learned about them, and then it was our turn to be introduced.

“This is Jenna and Dean. They’re from South Dakota. I’m sorry, I don’t remember the town,” Stephanie said, addressing the last comment to us. I assured her it was fine.

“They met at school as kids and were best friends until they both turned 16 and realized they were soulmates. They’ve been together ever since, but only married for a year,” James added.

I listened to the information they were sharing about us and couldn’t help but notice how close and yet how far it was from the truth. Which was the point, I suppose. I held back the sigh I wanted to release at the longing I felt for this life that, in a different world, might have been mine.

“Thank you! That was great!” Mallory said when they were done. “How about you two lovely couples next?”

We listened to the other four couples introduce each other. By the time that was over, I was ready to eat. But though there were two large tables set up, there still hadn’t been any food brought into the room. And then I remembered that Mallory had mentioned icebreaker games. Plural. 

“Okay,” Dave announced as he walked down the line, handing out paper and a pen to all the men. “Now I want each of you gentlemen to write down a favorite memory of you and your wife. We’re going to mix them all up and read them out one at a time. Wives, when you hear the one written about you, I want you to say it’s yours. So make it a good memory guys!”

I looked at Dean. He seemed a little tense. I wondered what memory he would pick. Was he already struggling to come up with an idea or just trying to find something that could be even remotely interpreted as romantic?

“And while they’re doing that,” Mallory continued. “Ladies, come with me.” She grabbed a bunch of brightly colored fabrics off the end of a table and moved to the other side of the room where a space had been cleared. “Everybody grab a blindfold and then line up and help the person next to you put theirs on. I’ll help whoever is last,” she instructed, holding out her handful of fabric.

We did as instructed and then waited to hear what was next. The fabric was thick and was far down enough on my nose that I honestly couldn’t see unless I looked up enough to see through the small gap at the bottom. Mallory walked down the row, assigning us each a number based on the order we were standing in.

I heard Dave giving the men instructions across the room. He numbered them off and then told them to line up across from us in order. Once the noise of shuffling feet stopped, he gave more directions.

“One at a time, you guys are going to move through the line. Ladies, you’re going to have fifteen seconds to feel the man in front of you and decide if he’s your husband or not. Don’t say anything though. After everyone has gone through we’ll ask you which number you think your husband was.”

Easy enough. I was confident I’d be able to pick Dean out. It actually sounded a little boring. And a little more up close and personal than I liked. Dean I was fine with. I was perfectly comfortable touching him. But I wasn’t looking forward to the five strangers.

“Any questions?” Mallory asked.

I wanted to ask if once our husband had been through the line we could skip touching the other guys or if we could stop touching before time was up if we were certain it wasn’t our husband in front of us. I didn’t want to offend anybody though, so I kept quiet.

“Okay. Will husband number one please step up to wife number one?” Dave instructed. I heard the man take a few steps forward. “Your time starts… now!”

“Time!” Dave called out a few seconds later. “Please move to wife number two.” That was me.

Not at all excited about this, but also feeling my competitive side coming out, I waited for the greenlight and then reached forward. The man was standing a little closer than I had expected. I felt his hair first. It was the same haircut Dean had, but if I was remembering correctly, three other men here all had the same haircut, so that didn’t mean much. I moved my hands down to his cheeks and was met with scruff. Not Dean then. I wasted the rest of my time halfheartedly feeling over the guy’s shoulders. I wondered if this was James.

“Time!” Dave called again and the man shuffled down the line. We continued on like this for several minutes, everybody waiting their turn to feel or be felt.

The second man wasn’t Dean either. I knew as soon as I reached for his hair and realized he was shorter than I was anticipating. I could tell right away that the third man was wrong too. His hair was much too long. 

The fourth man stopped in front of me. I felt his hair first as I had with the previous three men. It was the right haircut and the guy seemed to be around the right height. His cheeks were clean shaven. Was it him this time? I ran my hands over his shoulders next, feeling the width of them. It might have been right. I thought they maybe felt a little too slim though.

I moved my hand towards his right ear, feeling just behind it. It was smooth. This wasn’t Dean either then. Dean had a small scar there from being thrown through a window. The glass had left a few nasty scratches, but luckily none of them were serious.

The fifth man stopped in front of me. I felt the hair first again. There were only two guys left and I was pretty sure that they would have the same haircut, so it probably wasn’t helpful. But if I was wrong about how many men here had the same haircut as Dean, this would rule the guy out immediately if it wasn’t him.

His hair was the length I’d been expecting. His height definitely felt right. I realized I had overestimated the size of the previous guys, because this one was noticeably taller. I moved down to his cheeks. No stubble. I felt his nose. It was slightly crooked. Behind his ear was my next stop. And I felt the scar I was looking for. I was all but sure it was him now, but I still had time left and who’s to say this guy couldn’t just happen to have a scar in the same place as Dean? That’s fine. There were other indicators I could look for.

My hands darted down to his shoulders. They felt more like what I had been expecting when I checked the last guy. His left bicep was next on my list. There was a rough patch of skin there, a scar from a salt round that had grazed him. I knew I couldn’t have more than a couple seconds left, and I used them to trace over his lips. I hadn’t been paying attention to be fair, but I doubted there was another man here with the same soft, pouty lips as Dean. 

“Time!” Dave called. 

Waiting my turn for the last guy was hard. I already knew it wasn’t Dean so the little bit of challenge I’d had was gone. And I was having a really hard time sitting quietly, knowing that there was a line of four more girls all taking a turn feeling up Dean. I knew it was ridiculous. They were all married. To soulmates of their own. 

They were likely doing the same as me and touching him as little as possible once they’d ruled him out. And there was only one more guy left, which meant there should only be one woman who hadn’t ruled him out automatically. That thought made me feel a little better, but I still didn’t like it. 

I think part of the problem was that I didn’t know what they were doing, although I honestly wasn’t sure if being able to see it happening would make it better or worse. Probably better. I could assure myself it was as perfunctory for them as it had been for me with the other men. But I figured part of me would never be ok with seeing other women touching him, no matter the circumstances. This was just a really dumb game for a couple’s retreat. What woman is ok with the thought of her husband getting felt up by a line of girls? 

I’d worked myself into a bit of a mood by the time the last man stopped in front of me. Thankfully I was good at hiding it. I reached up for his hair. It was a bit greasy, possibly from product, but I wasn’t going to spend any more time with my fingers in it. I moved down to his cheeks as was the pattern I’d established. I left my hands there, motionless for a few seconds before moving down to his shoulders. Dave called time and I was glad to be done.

As the last guy made his way down the line, there was movement in the room. I heard the sound of footsteps and clinking of dishes accompanied by the mouthwatering smell of food. 

“Alright, great job everybody,” Mallory said when everyone was done. I wasn’t sure why. It’s not like it had been a particularly difficult game. And we hadn’t even found out how many of the women were right yet. “Before you take your blindfolds off, we’re going to have you give us the number you think your husband was. Don’t worry if someone says the same number as you. It’s all part of the fun! Let’s start with you Hannah.”

And so we took turns saying our guesses.

Four. Five. One. Four. Two. Three.

“Hannah and Julia, you both picked the same number. Would either of you like to choose a different one?” Dave asked.

“I would,” Hannah said immediately. I’m changing my answer to six.”

“Okay! Blindfolds off,” Mallory instructed.

I did as she said and looked down the row of men in front of me to the fifth person in line. I wasn’t at all surprised to see it was Dean. He gave me a small smile.

“Great job ladies! You all guessed correctly!” Mallory cheered. “Now, I’m sure everybody is ready to eat, but we just have one last thing to do.”

“That’s right!” Dave continued, waving a few pieces of paper in the air. “We still have to do the memories. Remember ladies, when you hear the one written about you, let us know. Alright,” he said, clearing his throat before reading the first one. “‘One of my favorite memories with my wife is the time we went scuba diving in the Bahamas.’”

“That’s us!” said Anna. She and her husband Ethan were the youngest couple here at 23 years old.

“That does sound like a lot of fun!” Mallory said. “Okay. The next one says, ‘One of my favorite memories with my wife is the time she was sick and we sat together all day watching movies.’”

I figured that one was Dean’s, but it was generic enough that I waited just a second to see if anyone else would claim it. 

“That’s us,” I said when no one did. That was definitely a good day for me, illness aside, but I wondered why he had chosen it. I suppose our time together was spent hunting, so there was a limit on memories he could choose from.

“If you don’t mind my asking, why was Jenna being sick a favorite memory?” Mallory asked Dean. 

“It was in high school before we were together,” he explained. “She was really cold, so all day she was curled up against me to try and keep warm. It was the first time I ever got to be that close with her.”

I heard a few awws from the women around me and felt myself blush.

“Oh, that is so sweet,” Mallory cooed.

The two hosts finished reading the rest of the memories, and then finally announced it was time to eat.

“Here is the itinerary for the weekend,” Dave said before we sat down to eat. He set a small stack of paper on an empty table. “Mallory and I are going to take off now and let you folks enjoy the rest of your evening. Feel free to stay here and mingle if you want.”

With that, they went to what looked like some sort of little office connected to the conference room, leaving us to eat. 

A couple of waiters were standing by the food they’d brought in. Once everyone was seated, they started bringing plates around. Everyone was given steak, a baked potato, and a side salad. It might have been the best food I’d ever eaten. As we ate, Dean and I chatted with the other couples at the table.

“What do you say we go down to the hotel bar and keep this party going?” James asked once everybody had finished eating. There was enthusiastic agreement from several of the couples. One of the couples, Julia and Pete, declined, stating they had their own bottle of champagne and wanted some time alone.

“Dean. Jenna. You coming?” Stephanie asked.

“You know, we would, but we actually had a pretty long drive up here. I think we both need a little bit of time to unwind tonight before all the fun tomorrow,” Dean said. I nodded in agreement.

“Alright. If any of you change your mind, you're welcome to join us!” James called to us and the other couple as we left. We took the elevator up to floor eight with Julia and Pete and waved goodbye as we went to our rooms.

“Wow,” Dean said when we were safely behind closed doors. “Can you believe people actually pay money to participate in this crap?”

“It’s definitely a bit over the top,” I agreed.

“A bit? If you want a romantic weekend away, why spend it with other people playing ridiculous games? Why not spend your money on something that’s actually fun?”

“Like what?” I teased.

“I don’t know. Like… a cruise. Or… I don’t know, maybe a nice hotel room without your entire weekend scheduled out for you by crazy people.”

“They are pretty enthusiastic,” I agreed. “Luckily you didn’t have to spend your money on it then. You can thank Bobby for putting you through this.”

“I mean, come on,” Dean continued as he looked over the itinerary he’d grabbed on our way out. “If I wanted to do a scavenger hunt, which, by the way, I’m certain no one does, I’d go to a six year old’s birthday party.”

“Scavenger hunt?” I asked. 

“Don’t tell me you’re actually excited about that,” Dean scoffed.

“No. It sounds lame. But does it say where exactly it’s at? It could be a good opportunity for us to snoop around a little bit.”

“Good thinking. Looks like the whole first floor is fair game.”

“Ok, that’s a start,” I said. “When is that supposed to be?”

“Uh… tomorrow at 1,” he answered. “The good news is, that’s the first scheduled activity of the day which means we can do whatever we want until then. Hopefully we can figure out what we’re even looking for. You don’t have any theories yet, do you?”

“Based off of this evening?” I snorted. “No.”

“Yeah, me neither. You don’t think Mr. and Mrs. Peppy have anything to do with it, do you?” he asked.

“Who, Mallory and Dave?” I considered it. “Maybe. The people hosting the retreat would obviously have information about everybody and access to them. We’ll have to find out if they host it every year.”

We spent the next couple hours doing as much research as we could from our hotel room. It wasn’t helpful since we didn’t have much to go on.

“Well,” Dean sighed. “I think it’s time to call it a night. Lots to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Probably a good idea,” I agreed.

We took turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed. I finished my turn and stepped back into the room. Dean was laying on his back on the left side of the bed. I gave myself all of one second to prepare for sharing with him. 

It was only for a couple nights. The bed was so big we wouldn’t have to touch each other. I told myself it wasn’t all that different from sharing a room with different beds. It would be fine. I could handle it.

I crawled into bed, slipped under the covers and turned onto my side, facing away from Dean.

“Goodnight,” I managed to choke out.

“Goodnight,” he answered.

I reached over and turned off the lamp. It took both of us a while to fall asleep.

Chapter 8

[archangels-bible-annotations]

Chapter 29

29:1-3 Jacob continues his journey and comes across a well surrounded by 3 flocks of sheep. The sheep are watered from the well, the well is covered each time after watering. Shepherds are not explicitly mentioned, only "they."

29:4-6 Jacob asks the shepherds where they are from and if they know Laban. They replied that they were from Haran and that Laban is doing well, and his daughter Rachel is coming with the sheep.

29:7 Jacob states that it is the middle of the day and not time to gather sheep; he says to water them and then feed them.

29:8 The shepherds say that they need all the shepherds together to move the big stone cover from the well.

29:9-10 When Rachel arrived, Jacob helped move the stone that covered the well. This part makes it very distinct that Laban is his "mother's brother" by mentioning it every time Laban is mentioned.

29:11-14 Jacob kissed Rachel and wept while raising his voice, meaning he was happy to see his kin. Rachel took the news of Jacob's arrival to Laban, and Laban brought Jacob into the house for a month.

29:15 Laban states that Jacob should not work for free, asking him what he would like for wages.

29:16-21 Conversation shifts towards Laban's daughters. Leah was the older daughter and had "delicate eyes." Rachel was the younger daughter, "beautiful in form and appearance." Jacob proposed seven years of service to marry Rachel. Laban agrees, stating that it is better he gives her to Jacob than anyone else. Jacob finishes his seven years and asks Laban for Rachel as his wife.

29:22-23 Laban prepares a wedding festival but prepares Leah to be the bride.

29:24 Laban gives Zilpah, his maid, to Leah as a handmaiden.

29:25 Jacob is shocked because he was prepared for Rachel, not Leah. Jacob questions Laban for his deception.

29:26-27 Laban states the younger child should not be married before the older, so Laban requests Jacob to "fulfill her week" and he will give Rachel in exchange for another 7 years of service.

29:28 Jacob "fulfilled [Leah's] week," and was given Rachel as a second wife. Laban gives Bilhah, his handmaiden, to Rachel as a handmaiden.

29:29-30 Jacob "went in to Rachel" and loved her more than Leah. He served Laban for another 7 years after they got married.

29:31 God saw that "Leah was hated" so He opened her womb while making Rachel barren.

29:32 Leah conceives Reuban, stating that God saw her humiliation. She continues saying that since she had a son, Jacob should love her now.

29:33-35 Leah continues to conceive children for Jacob, each time giving praise to God and saying that now Jacob would love her. She gives birth to 4 sons until she stopped bearing. In all, her children--in order--are Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah. Judah was the only child that Leah did not explicitly say that Jacob should love her in exchange.

Other Remarks:

Jacob points out it is the middle of the day due to the heat. I am assuming that cattle are "gathered" when it is time to move them from one location to the next. Why are the shepherds trying to gather them at this time? (v.7)

This is one of the verses of the Bible that is romanticized, "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the lobe he had for her." (v.20)

The only qualities that are explicitly mentioned of the daughters of Laban are physical properties, such as eyes and form. Does this tell us that the attraction that Jacob feels for Rachel is mostly comprised of lust? Arguments can be made against that claim. Since Rachel is from the same family, they serve the same God; this shows us they are spiritually and culturally compatible partners. It is also important to note that lust is self-serving while love serves others. In verse 21 it mentions that Jacob wants to take Rachel as wife so he "may go in to her." His statement could be interpreted as he kept himself chaste for Rachel for the past 7 years. This act would be one of love rather than lust because lust has no patience. The previous statement can also be interpreted as going to greet Rachel as a husband, which would have the same implication; the distinction is that the phrase utilizes "in to" rather than "into." (v.15-21)

It is ironic to see that Jacob is the one being deceived here. Seems like karma is coming back for deceiving Esau. (v.25)

Laban seems to purposely withhold the plan that he was going to offer up Leah instead of Rachel. Or it was because Laban believed that he could find someone for Leah before Jacob's first 7 years of service was completed. (v.22-27)

It is explicitly seen here that one man has two wives. This tell us that it was common to have more than one partner during this time. (v.28)

Previously it was said that Rachel was loved more than Leah by Jacob. Only in the next lines we see that relationship clarify as "Leah [being] hated." However this does not specify who Leah was hated by, it could be by Jacob, Rachel, or the people of the land. It could be a mix of all because of her position. This is unfair treatment to Leah, simply because of the culture she inhabited and of her physical appearance. This imbalance in the relationship between one husband and two wives sheds insight to why having more than one partner is frowned upon. (v.31)

In v.31 we see God's direct intervention in the dealings of man by choosing whose womb to open and whose to close. It seems that God is trying to get retribution for the treatment towards Leah. However, I am not sure this interpretation will hold if we continue down this chapter because 'retribution' and vengeance has never motivated God's actions in any of the wrongs that man has done previously, even including the flood. (v.31)

Leah uses her son to procure love from her husband, Jacob. This is not a good way to go about things as the love she would receive is more transactional than stemming from 'true love.' (v.32)

The name Reuben translates to "Behold A Son" and can also be interpreted as "Son of Vision." (v.32)

Leah continues to essentially plead for love from her husband, Jacob, and thinks that transactional giving him sons would gain his love. Nowhere in these verses is her claim justified. On a good note, she praises God for each of her offspring. (v.33-35)

The name Simeon translates to "One who Hears;" referring to the Lord who "heard [Leah] was hated. (v.33)

The name Levi means "Joiner;" because Levi was supposed to join Leah with her husband. (v.34)

The name Judah means "Let Him (God) Be Praised." This signifies a shift in the praises Leah offers God. After the birth of Judah, her focus is solely on praising God, rather than looking for Jacob's acceptance. It seems she finally realized that she cannot force love from another, that true love should be freely given rather than being 'earned' transactionally. Her realization might be what caused her to stop bearing. (v.35)

The OSB states that "one week" in this case equates to seven years. (v.27)

Questions:

What does it mean that "[Jacob] went in to [Leah]?" This is before the wedding, so it must not refer to copulation. (v.23)

What is the role of a handmaiden? (v.24)

What does "fulfill her week" mean? (v.27)

Things to Add to Prayer:

Help us to understand the love given to us, allowing us to provide love in the world around us.

-Mikhael

[lesfeldickbiblestudy]

  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 3 * PART 1 * BOOK 80 DANIEL – PART III - 1 Daniel 4:26 – 7:8 Okay, good to have everybody in this afternoon. It’s another beautiful day in Tulsa. For those of you out in television, we want to welcome you to another Bible study. We are so thrilled at the response that you are learning to use your own Bibles and you’re getting an understanding of things you never had before. What else could we ask for?  We just praise the Lord for it. Again, we want to thank everyone (you in here, as well as our audience) for your prayers and your financial help; and that we can just continue to reach more and more folks with the truth, we trust, of God’s Word. All right, we’re going to continue right on where we left off in our last program, which was a few weeks ago when we finished taping.  But nevertheless, we’re going to pick right up in our next verse, which would be Daniel chapter 4 verse 24.  Daniel chapter 4 verse 24.  Now remember, we were just looking at the dream that ol’ Nebuchadnezzar had concerning a huge tree.  And the tree was supplying everything of the needs of not only humans but the animals and the birds. And it was to be interpreted, again, by his little Jew, Daniel—who had already interpreted an earlier dream.  So Daniel comes to his rescue once again. Daniel 4:24a “This is the interpretation, O King, and this is the decree of the most High,…”  Now, I’ve got to stop there a minute again.  Remember, this is the term of deity that we see throughout the Book of Daniel, because it is dealing with Gentile subjects.  And to the Gentile, He was the Most High God. And as I pointed out in one of our previous programs, to the Nation of Israel He was the LORD.  He was the God of Abraham, but primarily Jehovah was the name that Israel understood as the God of Abraham.  But here, concerning these Gentile kings, the term the Most High, or the Most High God, is the prevalent one.  All right, now you come to verse 25.  Here comes the interpretation of that dream of a great tree. Daniel 4:25 “That they shall drive thee (that is Nebuchadnezzar) from men, and thy dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field, and they shall make thee to eat grass as oxen, and they shall wet thee with the dew of heaven, and seven times shall pass over thee, (seven years will go by) till thou know that the most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will.”  Now this is something that is hard for even those of us who are believers to comprehend, that God puts evil men in places of authority. But we’re not to question it.  In fact, a thought just comes to me.  Keep your hand in Daniel.  We’ll be right back. Jump all the way up to Romans chapter 13 where the Apostle Paul is making the same claim.  Romans chapter 13, and let’s start at verse 1. Because when we look back at history, and we look at men like Hitler, you mean, he was there by God’s ordaining?  Yes!   Absolutely!   If God wouldn’t have wanted Hitler to rule, He would have gotten rid of him long before he got old enough to even aspire for office.  But see, here’s how the Apostle Paul puts it for us even today—Romans 13 starting at verse 1. Romans 13:1 “Let every soul (or every person) be subject unto the higher powers. (And he’s not talking about the powers of God.  He’s talking about powers of human government.) For there is no power (no government, no emperor) but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”  Isn’t that something?  Every ruler is there by God’s design.  Verse 2: Romans 13:2 “Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves condemnation.” Now here, of course, is the way we normally look at government.  They are to be benevolent, and they are to be for our good. Romans 13:3-4a “For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. (In other words, it’s the law breaker who should fear government.) Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power?  do that which is good, (In other words, be a good citizen.

) and thou shalt have praise of the same: 4. For he (the leader, the emperor, the king, the president) is the minister of God to thee for good.…” Now, that’s hard to swallow, isn’t it?  But that’s the scriptural concept, and we have to leave it at that. All right, come back to Daniel. Again, Daniel is interpreting the dream of this pagan King Nebuchadnezzar.  All right, verse 25 again: Daniel 4:25a “That they shall drive thee from men, and thy dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field, and they shall make thee to eat grass as oxen,…” In other words, he’s going to be out there like a wild animal for seven years.  What’s the purpose?  To teach that king a royal lesson, because he’s been so pompous. He’s so proud of everything he’s accomplished in setting up the city of Babylon and the kingdom, and he just about got himself convinced that he was God himself.  So God’s going to teach him a lesson that he will be whatever God wants him to be.   In this case, it’s going to be like a wild animal. Daniel 4:25c “…and seven times (or seven years) shall pass over thee, until thou know that the most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will.”  Now, believe it!  God is Sovereign.  He’s still the ruler of this universe and planet Earth in particular.  Now verse 26, Daniel continues on. Daniel 4:26 “And whereas they commanded to leave the stump of the tree roots; thy kingdom shall be sure unto thee, after that thou shalt have known that the heavens do rule.” Now when this tree, which is indicative of Babylon and Nebuchadnezzar, is cut down, do you remember the instructions in our last program? They were to leave a stump, and around the stump were to be a band of brass and band of iron.  Well, the symbolic issue was that the succeeding empires are still going to be part of the Babylonian empire. And we’ve seen it all through human history. We have the influence of the Babylonian, the Mede and the Persian, and the Greek and the Roman Empires. They are with us still today.  Even though those empires went into the dust of history, here they are.  They’re back in the news everyday.  Iran is Ancient Persia.  Iraq is Ancient Babylon.  Syria was a part of the Greek empire. Now, I had an interesting little note last night after we got home from Branson.  I had to catch up on our reading, and what did I run across?  Our new Secretary of State, Mrs. Clinton, is making overtures now to re-establish diplomatic relations with Syria. We broke off all relations with Syria several years ago, because they were inundating our efforts in Iraq.  Now isn’t it amazing that Syria—now, I’ve got to show you something else.  See, this is a teaching class.  I don’t worry about following a format or a syllabus or anything like that.  That doesn’t bother me. Come back with me to—I just about lost where I was going—Ezekiel 38, just a few pages back from where we are in Daniel.  Ezekiel 38 and how I think in light of the present day situation everything is coming together so fast.  And when I read that our Secretary of State is going to reinstitute relations with Syria.  Why?—when we’ve been so careful to keep them on the back burner because of their terrorist activities. Well, just like we’re seeing here in Nebuchadnezzar’s situation, God is in control of everything. Now Ezekiel 38 and this, of course, is the chapter concerning what we call the great northern invasion. Here are the nations that will be associated with Russia.  Verse 5, Ezekiel 38, Persia—well, I’ve already told you, that’s Iran.  Ethiopia, that’s down in Africa.  Libya is northern Africa.  Gomer—that’s more or less probably Eastern Europe: the Balkans, Yugoslavia, and so forth.  The house of Togarmah—that’s Turkey—and all his bands. Who’s missing?  Syria!  Why? Oh, I guess your guess is as good as mine. But Syria is not going to be involved in this great northern invasion. Syria is going to be more involved in the Tribulation and the coming of the anti-Christ.  It’s just amazing how all these things fit even in the absence of Syria.

  Well, why is Syria absent?  Well, for a reason. All right, back to Daniel.  You got all that free for nothing!   Back to Daniel chapter 4, so they left the tree roots, verse 26. Daniel 4:26b-27a “…thy kingdom shall be sure unto thee, after that thou shalt have known that the heavens (or the God of heaven) do rule. 27. Wherefore, O king, let my counsel…” Now remember, who’s talking?  Daniel.  And Daniel is no longer the 12 or 14 year old lad that we started out with in chapter 1.  Years have been going by. Nebuchadnezzar is just about to the end of his life already and Daniel, too.  He’s getting old right along with everybody else, you know.  Time doesn’t stop for anybody.  So by the time we get to the end of Daniel, he’s going to be probably up in his 90’s.  They went from one empire to the next, but here Daniel’s still dealing with Nebuchadnezzar. Daniel’s probably in his late 50s or 60s by now. Daniel 4:27 “Wherefore, O king, let my counsel by acceptable unto thee, and break off thy sins by righteousness, and thine iniquities (How?) by shewing mercy to the poor; if it may be a lengthening of thy tranquility.”  Or your peaceful pursuit of happiness, because he’s had it pretty good.  Nebuchadnezzar has been living royally.  Now verse 28: Daniel 4:28-29a “All this came upon the king Nebuchadnezzar. 29. At the end of twelve months...” A year after Daniel has warned him—King, you better start changing your ways.  You better start treating the downtrodden better instead of being pompous and concerned only with the super.  All right, but it didn’t have a bit of effect. Daniel 4:29 “At the end of twelve months he walked in the palace of the kingdom of Babylon.”   You know, I started to think as I was preparing this—you know, I think maybe some people would wish I wouldn’t read all these verses.  Why don’t you just skip a bunch of this? But what you’ve got to realize is, there’s a vast segment of my T.V. audience that never has read this Book. They call and tell me, don’t ever take the Scripture off the screen.  It was the first time I had ever read anything from this Book.  So, when I start reading, just bear with me, and we’ll trust that the Word will have far more impact than anything I can say anyway.  So, that’s why I’m not going to apologize for reading a lot of these things. Because it’s still the Word of God and the Word of God is what’s so powerful.  All right, so the king is now speaking in his pride and his pomp. Daniel 4:30 “The king spake, and said, Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for the house of the kingdom by the might of my power, and for the honor of my majesty?”  You see the egotism there?  But see, that’s most world leaders.  Just as soon as they get into a place of power—and it starts a lot further down the ladder than just the very head of a nation.  I think you can almost look at every state governor. They immediately get a certain amount of pride and power and authority.  It’s just human nature.  But here’s this king, all puffed up with his own importance.  Then verse 31: Daniel 4:31a “While the word was in the king’s mouth, there fell a voice from heaven,…” Now here’s another thing.  I can’t help this.  We’ve got to be reminded that all through the Old Testament the supernatural is commonplace.  I trust you know that. Not that it’s myth.  It’s not legend.  It’s as true as anything can be. But God did work in the realm of the miraculous all the way up through Israel’s history.  Now you see, in our Age of Grace, that’s absent.  I’ve said it over and over, and I know this upsets some of these miracle workers.  But I just simply say that God is not doing the miraculous in this Age of Grace.  Because it’s unnecessary.  We don’t need situations like this.  You know why?  We’ve got this Book.  This is all we need and the Holy Spirit who is inspiring us to read it and study it. But you’ve got to remember that here, and again when the Tribulation opens, that just as soon as that man anti-Christ goes to Jerusalem

with the idea of setting up a treaty between Israel and the Arab world, the supernatural is going to kick in. God will sovereignly cause the Arab world to sit down and make a treaty with Israel with the brokering power of the anti-Christ.  The supernatural for the next seven years is going to be constant.  Everything that takes place during the Tribulation will again be supernatural, just like here.  Here this old king is no more than gloating in his own pomp and circumstance and God speaks from Heaven.  Well, that doesn’t happen today. But it happened all through the Old Testament.  All right, so pick it up where I just left off—verse 31 again. Daniel 4:31b “…there fell a voice from heaven, saying, O king Nebuchadnezzar, to thee it is spoken; The kingdom is departed from thee.”  What you think is yours and what you think you are enjoying, by tomorrow morning at sunrise is going to be gone so far as you are concerned.  Why?  The kingdom won’t disappear, but Nebuchadnezzar goes out and lives like a wild animal.  All right, reading on in verse 32. Daniel 4:32 “And they shall drive thee from men, (In other words, because they’ll think he’s insane.) and thy dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field: (That’s what the Book says.  And that’s what happened.  He actually went out and lived seven years like a beast of the field.) they shall make thee to eat grass as oxen, and seven years shall pass over thee, until thou know that the most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and (He) giveth it to whomsoever he will.”  Now are you getting the gist?  Who’s in control of every government?  The Most High God.  Now I’m speaking deliberately.  I’m thinking of when we were in Branson.  We had a fellow there who has a whole series of radio stations from West Africa to East.  Right down though the heart of Muslim Africa.  And most of his radio time is our material.  I asked the question—how in the world can Africa understand my program in English?  Well, his answer was, English is still the basic language of the business world.  So even the most common place African may not be able to converse in English, but they can understand it.  And, he said, the other thing about your program is that you speak deliberately and slowly, and they can get it.  So bear with me. See, I keep all that in mind.  We’re going to speak like that if possible, so that anyone can understand.  I’m getting to the place on the phone, when these young secretaries go ‘prprprpr’—you know.  I just have to say, hey, young lady, I’m getting old.  Slow down.  I can’t understand people who talk so fast.  So bear with me.  This is why I purposely try to speak slowly and read slowly.  Because we’ve got people out there that are trying to grasp it, and they wouldn’t if I talked too fast.  Okay, that’s just a common sense explanation.  All right, now verse 33: Daniel 4:33 “The same hour (Even as God has spoken and said the kingdom would be taken from him.) was the thing fulfilled upon Nebuchadnezzar: and he was driven from men, and did eat grass as oxen, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven, till his hairs were grown like eagles’ feathers, (See, he was like a madman, insane.) and his nails like birds’ claws. Daniel 4:34 “And at the end of the days (Now Nebuchadnezzar has come to his senses.) I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honored him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation:” Daniel 4:35 “And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay (or resist) his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou?”   No human has that kind of prerogative. Daniel 4:36-37 “At the same time (Nebuchadnezzar says) my reason (his sanity) returned unto me; and for the glory of my kingdom, mine honor and

brightness returned unto me; and my counsellors and my lords sought unto me; and I was established in my kingdom, and excellent majesty was added unto me. 37. Now I Nebuchadnezzar praise and extol and honor the King (capital K) of heaven, all whose works are truth, and his ways judgment: and those that walk in pride he is able to abase.”  Or put down like a beast in the field. Have you seen the progression?  How did he start out?  A total pagan—proud of the fact that he could put to death anybody he wanted to put to death.  He could make second in the Kingdom anyone. He had total, total power. And all he relied on were the gods of paganism.  Israel’s God was just another god among the gods, although it did have more power.  But you see, he has progressively moved from that to this testimony. Now, will Nebuchadnezzar be in Heaven?  I kind of think so, because he has come to this full realization of faith in the God of Glory.  Now, that’s just my own opinion.  And I think we can have the same thing with Darius and Cyrus.  All three of those pagan oriental kings, before they died, came to a realization that the God of Heaven, the Most High God, was the True Ruler of the universe.  And I think God probably honored that as sufficient faith for their salvation. So anyway, that carries Nebuchadnezzar throughout pretty much the rest of his life.  Now we’re just going to keep on going.  We drop down into chapter 5 and now we’re already two generations down the road.  Nebuchadnezzar’s grandson is now ruling.  Now you’ve got to go back into some other areas.  In fact, now is as good a time as any. Let’s go back to Jeremiah chapter 27 verse 7.  Jeremiah, you know, is the prophet that was holding forth at the time of Daniel, although Jeremiah never got to Babylon.  You remember, they found him in a dungeon in Jerusalem.  But nevertheless, Jeremiah is still contemporary at least with the earlier part of Daniel’s life.  Jeremiah chapter 27 and, oh, let’s jump in at verse 6. Jeremiah 27:6-7 “And now have I given all these lands into the hand of Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon, my servant; (Because God put him there.) and the beasts of the field have I given him also to serve him. 7. And all nations shall serve him, (that is Nebuchadnezzar) and his son, (who was the General Nabonidus) and his son’s son, (or his grandson) until the very time of his land come: and then many nations and great kings shall serve themselves of him.” All right, now when you come back to Daniel chapter 5, Nabonidus is the son of Nebuchadnezzar.  He’s ruled in the interval.  Now we’ve already covered so many years of time, that when we get into chapter 5, we have the name Belshazzar who is going to see the handwriting on the wall.  He is Nebuchadnezzar’s grandson.  Not son, but his grandson.  Okay? Daniel 5:1-2a “Belshazzar the king made a great feast to a thousand of his lords, and drank wine before the thousand. 2. Belshazzar, while he tasted the wine, commanded to bring the golden and silver vessels which his…” Now the King James says father.  I didn’t check any other versions. I haven’t got one anyway.  But it should be grandfather, because Belshazzar was a grandson. But the reason is that the term father and grandfather in the Hebrew is the same word.  So it was up to the translators to use whichever one they wanted.  But here in verse 2 it should be grandfather. Daniel 5:2b “…his grandfather Nebuchadnezzar had taken out of the temple which was in Jerusalem; (Of course we covered that in the early chapters.) that the king, and his princes, (That is the present king now, Belshazzar.) his wives, and his concubines, might drink therein.” Now what are they doing?  They are blaspheming the holy things of Israel’s Temple.  Now, when we say holy, remember that the things in the Temple were designated as holy because they were set apart for Temple use.  They were holy.  All right, the priests were holy.  They were set apart for the Temple services.  That’s where we get

the terminology for these vessels that Nebuchadnezzar had taken from the Temple before they destroyed it. He carried them to Babylon, but at least he had the wherewithal not to use them in his pagan temple worship.  But Belshazzar does, and he’s going to pay through the nose for doing so. Daniel 5:3 “Then they brought the golden vessels that were taken out of the temple of the house of God which was at Jerusalem; and the king, and his princes, his wives, and his concubines, drank in them.”  In other words, he just has a great, you might say, a drunken banquet.  They drank from them.  Verse 4: Daniel 5:4 “They drank wine, and praised the gods of gold, and of silver, of brass, of iron, of wood, and of stone.”  Count them, how many are they?  Six.  And six in Scripture is what?  The number of man.  This whole thing is completely absent of God.

[bitterlikesweets]

Love Bites Ch 28

This is the twenty-eighth chapter of a modern/vampire AU riren fanfic. You can also read it on Ao3. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Special | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 Next

Also... this chapter contains mature content.

Eren can’t even blink before Levi’s lips crash into his, forceful and impatient. Any hesitation Eren had left fades instantly, his hands sliding away from Levi’s shirt to wrap his arms around the man’s neck. Eren pulls Levi down until they’re pressed chest to chest, lips not parting even for a moment, not even to breathe, not yet. Not yet because Eren wants more. Because it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough, even if they never stop. 

Eren feels the press of teeth against his bottom lip, and his mouth parts with a gasp, fangs throbbing, but for once, not for blood. His jaw tenses as Levi nips at him lower, at his jaw, still moving downwards, hovering over Eren’s throat. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants to bite Levi, but he shouldn’t, he can’t, not with fangs like these, not with Levi’s fragile skin… Smooth, pale skin… Fuck. 

“Eren…” Levi says slowly, and just the sound of his name in Levi’s voice makes Eren tremble, his hands grasping onto Levi’s shoulders to keep himself grounded. “What do you want from me, Eren?”

“I…” 

Eren’s fingers press into Levi’s shoulders as he tries to pull his thoughts together enough to process the question, but it’s hard when he can still feel Levi’s breath against his neck, can feel the press of the man’s flat teeth as they nip and pinch his skin. It’s hard when his Mark begins to burn, heating, hurting as Levi makes his way lower, closer to that spot.

“Eren,” Levi whispers. Eren shivers. “Tell me.”

“I… want…”

Without warning, Levi shifts, biting down on Eren’s shoulder hard. Eren’s body jumps, head pressing back into the bed, but at the same time, he clenches his teeth, frustration bursting to life in his chest because this bastard knows what Eren wants, otherwise he wouldn’t bite so fucking close to the damn Mark, wouldn’t be such an insufferable fucking tease. 

“Levi,” Eren says, and he’s trying to make the words a snap, but there’s not enough breath in his lungs. “Stop being a dick and fucking bite my Mark already—”

A pair of canines pierce that aching, burning spot on Eren’s neck before he can even finish his sentence, and Eren’s fingers dig into Levi’s shoulders, his mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut. Tingling, electric heat spills out from his Mark, spreading all across his body until he’s not even fully conscious of all the ways he’s trembling, writhing. All he knows is that it’s hot and Levi is close and fuck everything feels so, so good. 

When Levi pulls away, Eren sags onto the sheets, breath escaping him in short pants. His green eyes are half-lidded as Levi moves up to be face to face with him again, leaning down for an open-mouthed kiss.

“Eren,” he mumbles against Eren’s lips, “I don’t know what you’re always going on about.”

“Huh…?”

Levi kisses him again, deeper this time, tongues intermingling. Eren tastes something… familiar. Metallic. 

Levi pulls back again, moving down towards Eren’s Mark to lick across it, and Eren shudders again, fangs throbbing as he looks at Levi’s neck, pale, smooth, exposed, right there just for him—

“When you talk about blood,” Levi continues, coming back to kiss Eren once more. “You always talk about how it’s delicious.”

“And?” Eren asks, a bit impatient because he’s still hot, blood buzzing through his veins in anticipation, still wanting more, more.

“And,” Levi says, pressing a kiss against Eren’s jaw, “your blood tastes like shit.”

Eren laughs, in spite of the situation, in spite of the way his body is still trembling and tingling every time they make contact, in spite of everything. 

“Levi, what the fuck?” Eren asks, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “Why are you making jokes right now?”

Levi is quiet, and Eren pulls his hand away from his eyes to look up at the man with his eyebrows raised. But as soon as they make eye contact, Eren’s breath stutters, something soft fluttering in his chest. 

Levi’s expression is gentle, gray eyes narrowed, the smallest of smiles on his lips, black eyebrows raised slightly, relaxed. It’s so openly fond that Eren feels almost… shy about it. Even though they really should be past the point of being shy by now.

“Eren.”

“Y-yeah?”

“I love you.”

Eren’s breath stalls, and he turns his head away, lifting his arm so that he can hide his face in the crook of his elbow. When he responds, it’s a strained whisper. He hopes Levi can hear it. 

“I-I love you too.”

Levi laughs, pressing a kiss on the arm hiding Eren’s face from sight.

“That’s what gets you? We say it all the time.”

“Shut up! Dumbass!”

Levi laughs again, and Eren pouts, slowly letting his arm fall back down to the sheets. Levi is still staring fondly down at him, one of the man’s pale hands sliding idly up and down his side, lifting up Eren’s shirt slightly in the process. 

“Levi?”

“Hm?”

“What do you want?”

Levi’s eyes widen for a moment, but his lids slowly lower, black eyebrows dipping down. 

“What do I want…?”

Levi shifts over him, moving back slightly on the bed. His hand lingers by Eren’s hips, pale fingers grabbing hold of his now exposed waist. Eren looks up at him with a confused smile, eyebrows raised. Why is he drawing this out so much?

“You sure you want to know?” Levi asks, his thumb rubbing slow circles into Eren’s hip. Eren’s eyes narrow. 

“I do,” he says. “Tell me.”

“Eren…” Levi leans down, voice low. “I want to fuck you senseless.”

Eren’s thoughts slam to a halt. He doesn’t remember how to breathe. 

His lungs are forced to remember when Levi’s hips grind down against his, pulling a gasp from Eren’s lips, green eyes wide from the sudden onslaught of sensations especially because fuck, fuck, it’s not just one burst of friction, Levi’s still moving—

“L-Levi…”

Eren’s eyes squeeze shut, fingers curling into the sheets, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as he struggles not to cry out. So much—all of sudden—so much—

“God fucking dammit,” Levi says, taking in a sharp breath, and he leans lower, pressing harder, fuck, fuck, fuck. “Tried so fucking hard to be patient about it… Take it slow…”

Eren sinks his fangs into his bottom lip, hips jerking, arms trembling as Levi practically pins him to the bed, pressing against him, trapping Eren against him. Eren can’t—he can’t—fuck, he can’t think—he can’t even control how his body moves—

“Wanted to make things easy on you,” Levi continues, “even though you were always fucking testing me.”

Eren’s fingers claw at the mattress, eyes wide as Levi continues to move against him, slow, almost rhythmic, fuck. 

“I—” Eren sucks in a breath, swiping his tongue across his bitten bottom lip to stop the bleeding. “I wasn’t—”

“You weren’t?” Levi asks, and his hips grind down with more force than before. 

This time Eren can’t hold back his voice, back arching, head pressing back against the pillow, his body writhing in tandem with Levi’s nearly without his own permission. It’s instinct, it’s heat burning throughout him uncontrolled, it’s so much all at once. So good, too good. 

“I—Levi—” 

“What do you call sitting in my lap, telling me you want me?” Levi asks, and Eren lifts his shaky arms from the sheets to curl into Levi’s shirt. “Calling yourself my good boy?”

Eren trembles, a whimper escaping him, and Levi’s face dips into the crook of his neck, teeth nipping at his collarbones, skirting around the Mark, close but never on that sensitive spot directly. 

“I…” Eren grits his teeth, writhing on the sheets, trying feebly to keep enough focus to form a full sentence, but fuck, it’s so damn hard when he can feel Levi against him, when the man relentlessly reminds him of their positions with every thrust of his hips. “I was… drunk… And you were the one who… put me on your lap.”

“You tried to strip me that night.”

“Just…” Eren gasps, fingers scratching Levi’s shoulders, barely holding back. “Just your shirt…”

“You’re arguing with me over nothing,” Levi says, lips sliding across Eren’s neck to hover over the Mark, and Eren’s entire body tenses in anticipation of that burst of tingling heat, waiting for the familiar press of Levi’s teeth against his skin. “You were testing my patience, Eren. I know you were.”

Eren feels a puff of breath against his shoulder. He knows, he knows Levi is lingering over the Mark, lips parted, and Eren’s own fangs are throbbing, waiting for it, wanting to bite and be bitten. Fuck, fuck, fuck, please—

“My patience is gone now,” Levi says, “and I told you what I want.”

Without warning, Levi stops, his body stilling over Eren’s, lips still hovering tauntingly over Eren’s neck. A small, frustrated sound escapes Eren’s throat, still trembling all over, still burning, tingling, wanting more, because it’s not enough, not yet.

Though some of Eren’s impatience subsides when Levi speaks up again, quieter than before, the rough edge to his voice temporarily absent. 

“Are you okay with that, Eren?”

Eren’s hands on Levi’s shoulders shift to curl around the man’s neck, a small smile on his lips. Levi raises his face away from Eren’s Mark, gray eyes meeting green. 

“You’re going to tell me you’re out of patience then give me a way to back out?” Eren asks, raising his eyebrows.

“I’m not going to be fucking happy about it if you run out on me,” Levi grumbles, “but I’m not going to force you, Eren.”

Eren laughs a little, leaning up to press his lips against Levi’s briefly, sweetly. Then, he leans up, until his lips are close to Levi’s ear. 

“Levi,” he whispers, grinning when he hears the man’s breath hitch. “...Fuck me senseless.”

“Eren.”

Pain and pleasure bloom on Eren’s neck in tandem, and the suddenness of Levi’s teeth on his Mark makes Eren arch upwards, his back off the bed. The second their bodies make contact again, Levi’s hips press down, and Eren gasps, eyes wide, clinging to Levi’s shoulders with shaking arms as a tightness forms in the pit of Eren’s stomach, his body pulsing in two places at once.

“W-wait—”

“Wait?”

Eren’s mouth falls open, feeling lighter bites against his Mark, his neck, his collarbone, everywhere, while Levi’s hand slides along his chest, pushing his shirt up towards Eren’s shoulders. 

“A little late for that, Eren.”

Levi reaches up to remove Eren’s arms from around him, tugging the vampire’s shirt up and off. Eren trembles beneath Levi’s fingers as a pale hand slides across his chest, down his abs, fingers hooking into Eren’s waistband. But his hips pause their movements, and Eren does his best to take a deep breath.

“You want me to stop?” Levi asks, shifting back on the bed a bit, his other hand dropping onto Eren’s knee. 

“N-no,” Eren says weakly, green eyes half open. “It’s just… a lot..”

“Hmm…”

The pale hand on Eren’s waistband moves to grip his other knee. Eren’s hips twitch as Levi slowly, slowly begins to push his legs apart, gray eyes never leaving Eren’s gaze. Slowly, slowly, Levi’s hands slide downward, until he’s gripping the inside of Eren’s thighs. 

“Good.”

Eren squirms on the bed as Levi strips off the rest of his clothes one by one, torn between wanting to hide himself and wanting to pull Levi's clothes off too. Wanting to see more of Levi, more of his pale skin… Eren reaches up, his hands curling into Levi's shirt as the man stares down at him, hands roaming along his hips and thighs.

Levi's eyes narrow and Eren stiffens, suddenly realizing that this is the first time Levi has seen him like this—the first time anyone has seen him like this, touched him like this, been with him like this. 

And Levi's hovering over him with an unreadable expression, still holding Eren's legs apart. 

"Eren…"

Eren pulls hard on Levi's shirt, yanking the man down until Levi's chin is nearly touching his chest, cheeks warming.

"Don't," he says, and Levi frowns.

"Don't what?"

"Don't… stare so much."

Levi's eyebrows raise a little, one of his hands moving to cover Eren’s, which are still gripping tightly to Levi’s shirt. 

“Hearing that makes me want to stare more,” Levi says, guiding Eren’s hands upwards, pulling his shirt up with it.

Eren’s breath hitches as Levi lets him pull the shirt all the way off, eyes filling with pale, pale skin. Muscular, scarred. Eren’s fingers drift to a small scar on Levi’s chest, a dark indent on his skin, right over his heart. Eren can feel it pounding beneath his fingertips. 

“That night, Levi had one of Kenny’s crossbow bolts stuck between one of his ribs.”

Petra’s words echo in Eren’s mind, briefly, as his fingers trace every scar he can find. Faded scratches just below Levi’s ribs. Healed gashes along the sides of Levi’s abdomen. A long, raised scar cutting across the bottom of Levi’s stomach. 

“Now you’re the one staring, brat.”

“Mmmhmm…”

Eren’s hands push Levi’s waistband down almost without thinking, leaving it low on Levi’s hips so that he can finish tracing that big scar on his stomach to where it ends a few inches below his navel. Eren only realizes how low his hands have gotten when Levi’s stomach twitches in reaction to his touch.

Eren looks up at Levi, a teasing smile on his lips. 

“Ticklish?”

Levi huffs. 

“Something like that.”

Levi leans down. Eren closes his eyes as their lips meet. 

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

“You’re being pretty slow about all this… considering what you said earlier.”

“You fucking brat,” Levi grumbles. “‘Bite me already.’ ‘Wait.’ ‘Don’t stare.’ Now I’m too slow. You don’t even know what you want.”

Eren’s face grows hot again, and he scowls up at Levi.

“I—I’m new to this, okay? I don’t—I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“I know.” Levi leans down to kiss him again. “That’s why you should just shut up and leave it to me.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Eren mumbles, but his voice lacks animosity, too busy trying to chase Levi’s kiss as the man pulls away again. Levi’s hands are back on Eren’s hips, pale lips traveling to Eren’s ear.

“I don’t mind being one,” Levi whispers, “since either way, I’ll be buried in your—”

“Levi!”

Levi laughs, loud and boisterous, and it’s so strange to hear it from him, so different from his usual restrained chuckles. Levi’s head drops onto Eren’s chest, the laughter fading quickly, though the man’s shoulders are still bouncing with the remnants of it. 

“Too much?”

“Way too fucking much.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

“Levi.”

Levi moves up to press a kiss against the underside of Eren’s jaw, and Eren can feel the smile on the man’s lips. Asshole. 

“You’re supposed to be the one who has a hard time saying shit,” Eren grumbles.

“I have exceptions.”

“Clearly.”

Levi smiles at him, and Eren glares back, though it’s hard to keep the angry expression when Levi’s gaze is so soft, when his touch is so gentle, when they’re so close like this. Exposed like this. 

“More comfortable now?” Levi asks.

“Huh?”

Levi pulls one of his hands away from its resting place on Eren’s waist to brush the back of his hand across Eren’s cheek. 

“You seemed like you were getting stressed.”

Eren’s shoulders hunch, and he averts his gaze, catching his bottom lip between his flat front teeth. 

“...I’m sorry. Even in a moment like this, you’re having to accommodate me…”

Even though Levi said earlier that his patience was gone, that he was tired of waiting, he’s still…

“I don’t mind,” Levi says. “I can wait for you.”

“I just—I hate that you have to wait for me. I even asked what you wanted, and we’re still—”

“Eren.”

Levi’s hand on his cheek grabs hold of Eren’s chin, turning his head and forcing the vampire to look up at him. 

“I want you,” he says. “That’s it.”

“But you said—”

Levi leans down, pressing their lips together, hard, almost forceful. Eren’s mouth parts beneath the pressure, but Levi pulls back. Eren can feel the man’s breath on his lips, gray eyes staring right into his own, impossible to look away from.

“Tell you what,” Levi whispers, both his hands back on Eren’s hips, sliding lower. Inward. “Let’s make a deal.”

“A deal…?”

“This time…” Levi says, hands inching to a place that makes Eren’s breath stutter, even though Levi hasn’t touched it yet, even though he’s just getting closer, closer. “...Is for you. As slow as you need.”

“Okay…”

One of Levi’s hands retreats, and he can hear clothes rustling, something sliding off, but Eren can’t focus on it when Levi’s eyes are still holding his gaze hostage, when Levi’s other hand is rubbing circles into the inside of Eren’s thigh, so close, so close—

“Next time,” Levi continues, eyes narrowing, voice husky. “I get to fuck you as rough as I want.”

Eren’s breath hitches, eyes widening. 

“Deal?” Levi asks, moving closer, slightly closer, close enough that their lips nearly touch as he speaks. 

“D-deal.”

Levi smiles. 

“Good boy.”

It's like something snaps. The thin thread containing all their hesitation breaks and suddenly Eren's fingers are digging into Levi's shoulders because Levi is hot and hard against him, two pale hands wrapped around them, pressing them together and fuck, fuck, Eren can't breathe, can't think—

"Sounds like you like that," Levi mumbles, his lips near Eren's cheek, panting above his ear, and Eren's hips are jerking hastily, messily. 

Eren doesn't have a fucking clue what Levi is talking about until he realizes his mouth is open, moans spilling out from the vampire’s lips.

"Shit," Levi mumbles, and Eren can hear the man's heavy breathing so well, can feel it against the shell of his ear, and fuck, Levi is biting again, nipping at Eren's neck—fuck, Levi’s grip just got tighter—

"L-Levi…"

"Feels good?" Levi asks, and Eren sucks in a shaky breath, trying not to claw his fingers against Levi's back too hard, not wanting to hurt Levi, but it's so much. Almost too much to handle.

"Good, but I—I can't—"

"Shit, just—" Even Levi is stuttering, his words interrupted by sharp gasps and grunts. "Just a little more."

"Levi—"

Eren gasps, legs trembling, feet sliding back and forth across the bed sheets as one of Levi's hands pulls away and moves lower, pressing but not entering.

"A little more," Levi says again. "You okay with that?"

“Yes, fuck—” Eren’s mouth opens, fangs throbbing and he wants to bite Levi so bad, but he shouldn’t. He can’t. “Please.”

Pale fingers plunge inward without further hesitation, and Eren gasps, squeezing his eyes shut. His fingers flex against Levi’s shoulders, but he can’t even focus fully on the new sensation because Levi is still pressed against him, hot against him. Levi’s lips are still pressing distracting kisses and bites along his skin, Levi’s pale shoulders are still close enough to bite. Levi’s warm skin beneath his fingertips, covered in a sheen of sweat. Levi’s unsteady breaths, Levi’s pounding heart, Levi’s blood rushing through his veins—Eren can’t think of anything else. His senses are full of the man he loves, completely absorbed by him, overwhelmed by him. 

Eren loves that. Him and Levi intertwined. Like it’s just the two of them in their own world, like all their worries are nonexistent. He doesn’t want anything more than that.

Well… No. That’s not true. Right now, there is something else. Something else he wants. Something to connect them completely.

“A little more,” Levi whispers in his ear, and another of Levi’s fingers joins the first. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah, but—”

Levi strikes a spot that sends a surge of heat through Eren, stopping his train of thought as his back arches, eyes wide. Levi chuckles against Eren’s ear.

“You like that?”

“Ye—” Eren takes in a deep breath, or at least the best one he can manage in this state. “Y-yeah, but…”

“But?” Levi asks, even as his fingers and hips pick up speed, even as his hand around them both starts squeezing tighter, tighter, fuck.

“Levi,” Eren says, his own hands sliding helplessly along the man’s back, “you need to slow down, or I’m—”

Levi stops immediately, obediently. Eren sags against the bed as Levi rearranges himself above him, green eyes slipping shut. 

“You want to stop here?” Levi asks, and Eren scowls, though he doesn’t open his eyes. 

“Fuck no. Don’t be stupid.”

Levi scoffs, and Eren feels a kiss land on the top of his head.

“But you don’t want to finish like this.”

Eren shakes his head, breath still stuttering, body still sensitive, still impatiently desiring more. 

“What do you want then, Eren?”

Eren sighs.

“I feel like…” Eren grumbles, finally opening his eyes again, “part of your reason for asking me every step is just so you can fuck with me.”

The corners of Levi’s lips twitch.

“Maybe it is.”

“Don’t make me say it every time,” Eren says, placing his hands on Levi’s chest, his thumb brushing across the scar over the man’s heart. “You know what I want, Levi.”

“Do I?”

Levi leans down, and Eren holds his breath as Levi’s face comes close, their lips meeting once before Levi pulls away.

“I…” Eren shakes his head, trying to keep his focus on the conversation, even as Levi continues to move closer to him. Eren can feel the heat of Levi’s body, even without their skin touching. “I know you do… Don’t be an asshole, Levi.”

“I’ll be an asshole if I want,” Levi says. “I want you to say it.”

“Levi—”

“I want you to say it,” Levi says again, firmer now. “I want to know you want it.”

“Seriously, Levi—”

“I need—” Levi pauses, and a frown forms on his lips, gray-eyed gaze wavering. Eren’s stomach twists for a different reason than it has been all night. 

Levi averts his gaze, leaning away.

“I…” Levi’s voice is quiet. It feels heavy in the quiet room, hanging between them. “I need to know you won’t regret it, Eren.”

Seeing Levi like this, Eren remembers the first time he drank from Levi’s neck. The night of their promises to each other. 

“Eren. This… If you were sober, this would scare you.”

“Not with you. Not if it’s you.”

“Eren… Just… Pretend you’re me for a second. Think about what it would do to me if I believed you now, just for you to regret it tomorrow.”

Maybe Eren’s not the only one who needed this to go slow. Who needed to make sure that it was okay at every step. 

“Levi…”

Eren reaches up, placing his hand on Levi’s cheek. Levi sighs, covering Eren’s hand with his own. 

“Sorry,” Levi says, but Eren shakes his head.

“I get it.” Eren smiles. “Probably better than anyone else.”

Levi sighs, closing his eyes. 

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

The corners of Levi’s lips twitch up.

“I love you too.”

Eren places another hand on Levi’s cheek, pulling him down until their foreheads press together.

“I’m not going to regret it,” he says quietly. “Because it’s you, Levi.”

Levi takes a deep breath.

“You’re sure?”

“Mmhmm.”

Levi snorts.

“Real reassuring.”

“Yes,” Eren says quickly. “Sorry. Yes, I’m sure, I just—”

Eren takes in a shaky breath, cheeks warming.

“Just feeling…” Eren averts his gaze, shifting a bit on the sheets. “...A little impatient.”

Levi laughs, and it’s more breathy than boisterous, like it’s half a sigh of relief. 

“You really are a brat.”

Eren’s cheeks burns, and he squeezes Levi’s face between his hands, glaring up at him.

“Well, you’re making me wait again, so of course I’m gonna—”

The press of something hot against him from below makes Eren’s mouth snap shut, breath stalling. Levi pulls Eren’s hands away from his face, one of his hands moving to prop himself up. The other pale hand lands on Eren’s thigh, lifting his leg up, Eren’s hips raising with it.. 

“What?” Levi asks. “Nothing else to say?”

Eren shakes his head, lips pressed tightly together, green eyes locked onto Levi. Levi shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. 

“Well,” Levi says, and his low voice is soft, like a caress. “Thank you for waiting, Eren.”

Eren opens his mouth to speak, though his attention is split, his eyes on Levi, every other cell in his body focused somewhere much lower. 

“I… should be saying that to you.”

“I’ve got a brilliant idea,” Levi says, his grip tightening on Eren’s thigh. “Let’s just not say a fucking thing anymore.”

Levi presses into him slowly, infuriatingly slowly, but even that is overwhelming, even as part of Eren’s brain cries out for more, even as his fangs throb and long to connect in more ways than  this. And it’s good, so good, especially when Levi slowly, carefully begins to move. But Eren knew it would because of course it is. Because he didn’t expect anything else from Levi, because they were already intertwined before they made their bodies slot together. Because with Levi, everything feels good, feels right. Even before Love Bites and love confessions—even before they came to rely on each other so deeply, everything about being with Levi felt right. His touch. His voice. His presence. Everything. 

“Levi…” His name falls out unsteadily from Eren’s lips. Eren’s hands wind around Levi’s shoulders to keep steady, to keep the man closer, closer, even though he’s already closer than he could ever possibly be. 

Levi doesn’t answer out loud, but he feels the man nodding against his shoulder, and Eren’s mind is struggling to string together the words as his body burns and throbs, as Levi moves harder, faster, fuck—

“Levi…” Eren mumbles between heavy breaths. “Love you… Love you so fucking much… Levi…”

More than anything. More than everything. 

But it’s futile continue trying to form the words on his tongue when the sentences are punctuated by moans Eren can’t hold back, so he presses his lips to every inch of Levi’s skin within reach and hopes he understands. 

When they finish, it’s in sync, Levi biting down on Eren’s Mark at the last second, and everything spills out at once. Levi’s name tumbles out of Eren’s lips over and over, and the build up of emotions, of heat, of everything, erupts out at once. 

Levi lingers above him for a moment, chest heaving, sweat dripping off of pale skin. Gray eyes hazy, narrowed to slits as they look down at Eren from above. Eren’s limbs feel weak, his whole fucking body does, still trembling, still twitchy and sensitive in the aftermath. 

But he pushes his heavy body up one more time, just far enough that he can kiss Levi again. 

As soon as Levi’s mouth parts from his, Eren collapses back onto the bed, shaky and exhausted. He can barely keep his eyes open. He hears Levi rolling off of him instead of seeing it, feels the warmth of Levi’s body retreat. The bed bounces when Levi drops down beside Eren, and when Eren works up enough motivation to crack his eyes open, he sees Levi face down, his head buried in the pillows.

“I need…” Levi says slowly, voice muffled. “...To wash my sheets…”

Eren barks out a laugh immediately, pressing his hands over his eyes, unable to stop the way the laughter shakes his shoulders, even as his tired body protests the movement. 

“That’s—” Eren sucks in a deep breath. “That’s the first thing you say?”

“Hmm…” Levi mumbles. “You’re right… I need a shower first.”

Eren laughs again, pulling one of his hands away from his eyes to smack it against the mattress, even though he’s distantly aware of the fact that it’s really not that funny. Maybe he’s just fucking delirious at this point. Maybe they both are. 

“Oh, shit…” 

Levi rolls onto his side, and Eren forces himself to take a few more steady breaths before turning to face him.

“What is it?” Eren asks, and Levi’s hand drifts over to Eren’s neck, fingertips brushing lightly across his Mark. 

“I love you too,” Levi says. “I… forgot to say it earlier.”

Eren laughs a little.

“It’s okay.”

Levi shakes his head. 

“I told you I would say it back every time.”

Eren rubs his eyes. Right… Another thing he brought up to Levi while drunk. But things were… different back then. Even though it wasn’t that long ago. 

“It’s okay,” Eren says again, letting out a yawn. “You… don’t have to. I know.”

“I don’t mind saying it,” Levi says, and Eren yawns again, green eyes falling shut.

“Okay… but you don’t have to… It’s not like… with other people.”

“Other people?”

Eren shifts closer to Levi on the bed, letting out a small sigh when he finds himself close enough for Levi to press his head against Eren’s chest.

“I feel better… when people say it,” Eren continues. “‘Cause it’s… hard for me to believe they really do. But when it’s you… I know. ‘Cause you…”

Eren yawns again. 

“You always show it too…So I… can trust that you love me.”

Eren feels a hand curling around his, fingers intertwining with his own. Lips touching down on top of his knuckles. 

“I’m glad to hear that, Eren.”

Eren can feel it, can feel his whole body slowing. His mind descending into fog. When did he get so tired? Maybe the side-effects from drinking Levi’s blood earlier in the day haven’t completely worn off yet…

“Mm… you too…” Eren mumbles. “You can trust me… Love you so much…”

Levi chuckles.

“I know.”

Eren smiles, yawning again. Levi’s lips press against his knuckles once more.

“Levi.”

“What?”

“I really love you.”

Levi huffs, pressing another kiss on the back of Eren’s hand.

“I love you too, goofy brat.”

“Your…” Eren yawns. “...goofy brat.”

The last thing Eren hears before falling asleep is Levi’s laugh.

“Yeah,” Levi mumbles, pressing a final kiss to the sleeping vampire’s lips. “And I’m so damn lucky to have you.”