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nowritingonthewall · 9 months

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Hi! Can I ask for some random and domestic Poe HC? 🤧

Hello Nonnie, thank you so much for your request! I am sorry that my hcs always appear to escalate into mini-essays, I hope that you enjoy them anyway 🥰

!Content warning for allusions to past trauma (because it’s Poe) but it’s mostly fluffy!

Domestic headcanons with Poe (x gn!reader)

- If you were honest, you would never have expected Poe to actually settle down after the Battle of Exegol and the fall of the First Order. After all, he had been on the run since he had been 16 years old, his family a bunch of rebels, his home scattered across the stars. You had fully expected him to make his new job as a flying instructor his whole new life, filling every second with something exciting to do, always chasing the next thrill, never slowing down and let himself think for even a minute.

Instead, after helping the New Republic to get back on its feet, he had put most of his energy and devotion into making a home with you.

Even though he loves his job teaching students (and spending a lot of time in his x-wing while doing so), he always makes sure to finish on time so that he can spend as much of the remainder of the day with you as possible. It has become one of your daily little rituals for you to wait for him, sitting on your porch, two mugs of freshly brewed caf in your hands. It never stops warming your heart to see that gorgeous crinkly-eyed smile lighting up his face as soon as he sees you waiting for him. Giving you an adorable little wave, he always quickens his pace before pulling you into a long and heartfelt hug.

Watching the suns painting the sky with the most beautiful colours imaginable, you’ll sit snuggled up against each other, listening to each other's daily adventures.

It usually doesn’t take long before Poe’s head grows heavy against your shoulders. The first few times he tried to fight it and wouldn’t stop apologizing, no matter how often you tried to assure him that you didn’t mind at all. But soon these late afternoon or early evening naps become just another part of your daily routine.

Poe spent more than half his life making sure that everyone around him felt safe. Now, with the war becoming a more and more distant memory each day, it’s like his mind finally allows his body to catch up on all the rest that he has been denied during all those years – finally feeling safe in your arms.

And there really aren’t a lot of things that you enjoy more than holding your sleepy boy with his head resting in your lap, one hand intertwined with his, as the other one plays with his hair. You smile at every patch of grey that you find among his inky curls, more than grateful to be given the precious gift of being allowed to watch him grow old with you. It makes the warmest and fuzziest feelings bloom inside your heart to see his worry lines relax under the soft touch of your hand as you listen to his content mumbling and cutest little sighs.

- He still can’t sleep without you around, though. Whenever he is in dire need of a nap, and the weather has gone too cold to sit outside, even under a heap of cuddly blankets, he’ll sit down on the couch, look at you with the most irresistible baby ewok eyes and his softest smile and tap on his chest to ask for his favourite human blanket.

Sometimes he falls asleep within seconds as soon as you snuggle up to him. Sometimes he finds that it wasn’t sleep that he craved after all but simply the comforting presence of you right next to him, listening to the soothing rhythm of your breathing as you drift into peaceful slumber until his breath synchronizes with yours in perfect harmony. And sometimes your planned naps turn into Poe and you talking nonsense for hours, exchanging forehead kisses and nose rubs between giggles.

Poe used to think that the only way to escape the constantly reoccurring ringing in his ears was to drown it out with something even louder. Now he realizes that all he needs to find relief is the soft warmth of you lying on top of him, the shape of your bodies fitting together as perfectly as if they had been custom made for each other.

- And he allows himself to take his time with everything that he does. No more bone crushing hugs that aren’t allowed to last longer than a second and that he’d hoped would convey everything that he hadn’t time for to tell you in case he wouldn’t make it back from a mission. No more quick and chaste kisses to whatever body part they would land on before hurrying off into the next briefing or meeting.

Now he makes sure to pour all of his undying love for you into every single hug until you feel nothing but warm and safe and cared for. Every kiss of him shows you that you are the centre of his universe, from the very first kiss in the morning to the last kiss goodnight. They have become so much more tender and gentler, yet they never leave a single trace of doubt about his feelings for you.

Quick shared showers that used to be a practical necessity turn into long shared baths that last until the water turns cold. Sometimes when you aren’t ready to step out of your cocoon of warmth just yet, you wrap each other in fluffy towels and make yourself comfortable on the heating unit waiting until you’re dried off.

As you cuddle up to each other, enjoying the closeness, you find a new softness and gentleness to your relationship that you had never thought possible. You are no longer clinging to each other for dear life, always scared that you might lose each other the next minute, constantly feeling like loving on borrowed time.

And Poe takes his time rediscovering and getting to know you all over again. Gently scrubbing your back in the bath or giving you a long tension-relieving massage. Learning everything there is to know about how you take care of your hair, while committing every single detail about you to memory. Not because he fears that every time might be the very last chance to do so but because he decided to commit every single fibre of his heart and soul to loving you. Because he chooses you. Over and over again.

It takes a while for him to get comfortable letting you take care of him the same way that he takes care of you. Yet every time it is your turn to hold him in the bathtub, he finds it a little easier to relax against your chest, melting into your embrace a little deeper. With every soft kiss pressed to his temple, he manages to let go a little further. As he rests his cheek against yours, while your hands are slowly caressing over his arms, he has never felt more vulnerable and at the same time more safe and protected than during those moments.

That’s when the tears tend to flow.

Those are the days when you make sure to take extra good care of him. Letting him rest his head against your shoulder as you carefully pat his back with a towel, gently kissing his tears away before placing a soft kiss on every single one of his scars, putting pain relieving lotion on his arm and massaging his tense shoulder. Only a few months ago this kind of special treatment would have made him feel more than uncomfortable. Seeing his own needs through your loving eyes, he slowly begins to accept that it is okay to take them seriously. And as he curls up against your chest, he doesn’t only allow it but he knows that he can completely trust you to take care of him.

- Poe has always loved to dance. Nearly as much as he loves to cuddle with you. Sadly, the days of the Resistance hadn’t exactly given you a lot of opportunity to do so and reasons to break into celebratory dances had been all too rare. So now he takes any chance he gets to hug you from behind, snuggle up as close to you as possible, rest his head on your shoulder and his cheek against yours while swaying the both of you to some music coming from your holopad or to a secret rhythm that only the two of you seem to be able to feel.

You dance in the morning while waiting for the first few cups of caf to brew, while waiting for something yummy baking in the oven, when you’re trying to dust the shelves, or while doing the dishes.

Doing the dishes never becomes a boring task with Poe. If he doesn’t turn it into a dance, there are bound to be lather battles that more often than not turn into tickle fights. And they always end with him using the dish cloth to draw you in for a long and wobbly-knees-inducing kiss.

This is also where most of your more serious conversations take place. It’s always been easier for Poe to talk about difficult topics while his hands have something to do. So whenever you feel like there’s something on his mind that he has trouble talking about, you’ll ask him “dish discussion?”, to which he answers with a relieved smile.

And, of course, should the topic require some serious hugging action, you can always continue your discussion on the kitchen floor, which proves over and over again to be the best place to solve any problem imaginable. And in case one of you should be in need of an even more comforting atmosphere, your kitchen cabinet features an extra compartment containing all the components required to build a blanket fort. It’s a habit that goes back to the early days of you joining the Resistance. And afterwards your blanket fort of safety can easily be converted into a blanket fort of romantic dinners and cuddle sessions.

- The two of you share a little garden with Rey, who doesn’t live too far away from you (I am sorry, LEGO, I refuse to believe that the trio would ever split up!). At least it was a little garden in the beginning. It all started when Poe noticed how Rey’s eyes would start to sparkle whenever she came across anything lush and green. So he began to present her with a special plant from every place that he visited. Pretty soon even her house was too small to accommodate her (not so) little personal jungle, so you helped her turning her backyard into a little garden. Which just kept on expanding. Because it never stopped warming Poe’s heart to see the way Rey’s face shining brighter than the suns whenever he found a new exotic plant for her.

He helped her create her special place of happiness both in her mind and in the physical world and you two are the only ones apart from Finn she trusts to take care of it. Even if your and Poe’s gardening sessions sometimes turn into several rounds of mud wrestling or splashy water fights.

Poe’s first very own gardening project featured the planting of a row of koyo trees. They weren’t even supposed to be able to grow in this climate but Poe Dameron has never been one to let logic or reason stand in the way of matters close to his heart. After all, he had managed to nurse a force tree back to health without any jedi tricks. And maybe Rey’s and Finn’s way with the force helped a little, too. Though he will always tell everyone willing (or maybe not too willing) to listen that it was your loving care that made the trees grow and flourish and bloom in the end.

His proud little face when he was able to harvest the very first fruit is another one of your many precious and treasured memories. Of course he let you have the first bite, almost a little nervous about your reaction.

The original plan was to turn the fruits into juice and jelly and lots of cakes. Which was a good plan. And it probably would have worked if the koyo fruits hadn’t been so damn tasty that you ate most of them before they ever had a chance to land in a basket. And what better way to spend the last days of summer than sitting lazily in the cool shadow of a koyo tree, taking turns to lie in each others lap while feeding each other freshly picked koyo fruits?

- During the nights when neither of you is able to sleep, you’ll climb onto the roof of your house, which offers a snug little platform that provides the perfect secluded retreat to lie on your back and gaze at all the stars in the galaxy. A galaxy that’s finally at peace.

Poe’s gaze keeps wandering back to you, though, and every time it does, he can’t stop smiling. As soon as you notice, you’ll snuggle a little closer to cradle his head and place the softest little kiss on his forehead, making him smile even wider. Softly stroking your cheek, he returns the kiss. On your nose, on your temple, across your jaw line, all over both of your cheeks, and everywhere he can reach.

You finally dare to make plans for the future again. Talking about all the stars and systems and planets you would like to explore together. Without rush, without being constantly on your guard, actually being able to look forward to visiting them.

The important thing is that Poe is no longer driven by the uncontrollable need to chase every single one of them. Because he has his own little galaxy lying right here by his side.

#poe dameron #star wars #poe dameron x reader #poe x reader #poe dameron x you #reader insert #poe dameron headcanon #fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction #chrissie tries to write #chrissie gifs

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bungobble-my-balls · 1 year

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This is a pretty old headcanon I had for how Poe was pre-6 years and during the 6 years, and my personal headcanons changed after reading 'To all I've loved, I loved alone' which I basically adopted as mostly canon, but I still think its fun so here it is!

(I was also listening to 'non-stop' when I came up with pre-6 years Poe so that inspired this a bit)

- Poe, as one of the smartest young detectives in America, has never lost a case and has developed an ego. He believes that his word is truth because he's never been proven wrong.

- Poe loses to Ranpo in deduction, and after suffering his first loss, he builds a resentment towards him and sees him as an egoist that mocked him. He's a really sore loser.

- Poe becomes obsessive over getting back at Ranpo. He starts venting by replaying the scenario between them in his novels, then he starts planning ways he could really get back at Ranpo. He wants to prove that he truly is the smarter and better of the two by writing a novel with a mystery Ranpo not only won't be able to solve, but will die when he fails.

(I have a headcanon that Poe can go into his own novels and can act as a part of the story he's written in them)

- Poe spends years with this goal in mind. In his quiter and lonelier moments, he finds comfort in his hate over Ranpo because at least its some form of connection with someone even if it's one sided, and at least its a purpose. With enough time researching Ranpo and his achievements, Poe can't help but admire the man he hates, which fuels him to REALLY want to write better and take him down a notch.

- Poe joins the Guild, and the other members think he's a bit of a freak but they're all freaks so they start found familying eachother, or maybe more like an office comedy with most of them. He gets on with Lucy because of their similarities, even if they butt heads sometimes because of the differences in their personalities, but there's enough similarities for them to form a bond.

- At some point, Poe's obsession over Ranpo leans a little...sexual...and after an accidental mishap in one of his novels he realises that keeping himself isolated while only thinking of his 'rival' probably isn't the best for him, so he makes an effort to actually go out and interact with other people more, not just for work either. Que Guild hangouts.

(the mishap was that he had a novel where he'd written how he'd expected/planned for his confrontation with Ranpo to go, and there was a Ranpo 'character' in this novel. Poe would go into the novel and rehearse what he'd say, and the Ranpo character would respond however Poe assumes the real Ranpo would. He'd been going in this novel every now and then for years, constantly rehearsing and changing the lines where he saw fit. The last time he went in the novel, because his novels and characters respond to how he imagines them to play out, the Ranpo character started coming on to Poe because Poe was internally developing a sexual interest from his obsession that the novel recognised even if he himself didn't want to acknowledge it)

- The Guild prepares to go to Japan to get the Agency's business permit, and Poe finds out that Ranpo is part of the agency. After so many years, he can finally enact his 6 year revenge plan, and he's absolutely freakishly giddy. He seperates from the group, telling them that he'll handle Ranpo himself because its personal. When Poe doesn't come back after his meeting, some assume he might've been unable to outwit the detective and got killed or kidnapped. Meanwhile....

- Poe meets Ranpo again, and realises that he's...actually not much like the Ranpo he's been picturing all these years. And Ranpo doesn't consider him a rival, but an equal, and Poe is between stunned and having a crisis right now. He isolates himself again while the guild finishes their battle, because he's really not sure what to do now the last 6 years of planning did NOT happen as he expected, and the man he'd been obsessed with hating isn't actually that bad??? He's more nervous around Ranpo now, trying to figure him out and still unsure if this is all Ranpo's elaborate trick and that this is what Ranpo has spent 6 years planning on his end.

- After meeting Ranpo again, Poe's obsession turns from hatred to being whipped for him, but it happens too fast to process, and it's not like he hadn't felt this admiration for Ranpo before (even if it's a lot stronger now) so he still thinks these are feelings of rivalry.

So of course this headcanon is old and I don't completely see this as accurate to Poe, Ranpoe, or the Guild dynamic in canon anymore, but I think it's fun in a fanfiction way still.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #ranpoe #edgar allan poe #ranpo edogawa #my post #bungobble my post

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quicksiluers · 2 years

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spoilers under the cut cause I wanted to talk about how repeat viewings of this movie are just...so good

So obviously, with the ending, we know that the killer the entire time was Landor. The first time I finished this movie, I was floored. I couldn’t believe it. Were there clues that I had missed during the movie? and the answer is yes! I’ve gone back and rewatched this movie...3 times now (and read the book which is FANTASTIC, check it out for sure!) and I think one of the biggest things to point out is just how good Bale is. I mean, this seems obvious right? Bale has always been a great actor. But he makes these little choices in scenes that, once you know the ending, it’s like...”wow...how did I miss this?”

I have some screenshots from the movie, starting with this one:

The start of the movie...now I won’t lie, the first time I watched this, for a moment I DID think he was washing blood from his hands! But then I noticed the leaves in the water and reassured myself that wasn’t the case....but actually, it was! Sneaky Cooper...very sneaky of you. And also in this scene, Landor is looking around. Like he’s checking to make sure no one else is around.

Then we get to the scene at West Point. And I think Bale is great here because what he is doing is subtle. I think, for the first part of their conversation, Landor thinks he’s been caught. Why else would he be brought here? So when Hitchcock tells him that they are looking for someone to investigate something for them, his reaction is great:

The screenshot doesn’t do it justice but he has this beat where he lifts up his hand, nods, and just goes “Huh” which is like “Ok...so you don’t know it was me.”. And then he goes on and continues to listen to what they have to say.

Obviously this news doesn’t shock Landor cause, duh, he killed Fry. And he’s not too broken up about! For obvious reasons! And again, screenshots don’t do it justice, but Bale does very subtle things that you clue into when you watch it with the knowlegd of the ending. Landor is always trying to gather information. Not just for the invesitgation....but also for himself, to see what other people know (and if they know he was involved somehow)

Now he knows that the only person who would have seen him didn’t see him. Small moment again but it plays perfectly because not only does it help the overall invesitgation....it helps Landor know where he stands and what he has to worry about.

And then we get back to Fry’s body and of course he asks Dr. Marquis about Fry’s head...because he knows he slammed the back of it with...whatever it was he was using, I never got a good idea of what Landor was carrying around.

This scene, when Dr, Marquis says there is something there and he “missed it” also puts us, the viewer, on tto he idea of Dr. Marquis being....not all he seems to be, which is almost all the characters in this movie if you think about it!

Then we got back to the landing and Landor is looking around. I believe he’s looking around to see if he left any sign of himself behind. And he stumbles upon this foot print.

I couldn’t find a really good shot of the shoes that Landor was wearing in this movie but from a few angles, it did look like the shape of this footprint matched his footwear. And watching the flashback sequence back when he attacked Fry, he was standing over and behind Fry, so it looks like Landor’s footprint over Fry’s....could be a stretch, but that was my thinking when re-watching!

Then we get to the scene where Poe decodes the message....and then when Poe gives up on the first two lines, Landor basically tells him what is said (cause he knows since he wrote it!) but makes it seem like he’s just helping Poe along....and Poe catches on that Landor knew the whole time

“I had an idea” aka “I wrote the thing I should know what it says”...as a side note, I love this scene. Landor and Poe are just so good. And I love how amused that Landor seems to be with Poe’s way of things. Makes the ending sadder!

These next to two things, I wouldn’t call them clues...but they are important in another scene coming up. The scene where Landor is looking through Fry’s diary. So we got the necklace (which we know belongs to Fry) and then we have this shot of a covered bridge...

which brings us to what I think is the biggest clue. And they happen so quickly, it’s hard to put all the pieces together if you don’t pause and read it. The scene with Landor looking through the diary.

So I’ll type out what we can see in this diary entry:

“...caded has arrived who knew nothing of the young ladies who would be arriving for the pleasure of our acquitance. There were some particularly lovely young ladies who we had had our eyes on and had promised a dance under the supervision of our officers. A young lady, who caught my eye, as well as the eye of several other cadets, agreed that she would gives us the pleasure a dance. My fellow cadet Ballinger and his good friend Stoddard had also se-”

It cuts off there. But I think it’s a good guess that the young lady he is talking about is probably Mattie. And then we get to what Landor has written down as he’s looking through this book:

We have “covered bridge” (which is the bridge they showed a shot of), by the river (bridge was going over the river), necklace (Fry’s necklace), and I believe the last word is “locket”.

and then the next time we have that shot, the words are:

“Academy ball” (the ball that Mattie was so excited to go to and the one Fry talks about), and “Followed her” (which when I read that, just...yeah...)

None of that has to do with Fry’s heart. It all has to do with Mattie. Which is exactly what Landor was looking for because he only knew Fry from the necklace. But he knew there were others. And now he has names. A few scenes later, Ballinger is dead. And Stoddard makes a run for it. Now in the book, Landor mentions that he gave himself away to Stoddard cause he went to the mess hall and just glared at the cadet which spooked him. And I think we may have something like that in this movie, but the scene makes you think Landor is glaring at Artemus. But I’m not 100% sure on that so I’ll leave that out.

So! Those are the breadcrumnbs I noticed on my rewatches. If anyone else has any, I’d love to hear them. But I think a lot of it comes from Bale’s protrayal. I watched an interview with Scott Cooper and he mentioned that they wanted see how far they could go without outright showing their hands on the first watch. And I agree with him that the movie is great on a rewatch because it makes you look at every scene differently.

Anyway, this was wayyyy too long but I had a fun time. And I must say again, if you enjoyed the movie, you need to read the book! I loved it and it really adds to the movie. There is some stuff in the book where I’m like “yeah...I can see why that didn’t make it” cause the back half....a lot if happening in that back half of the book lol even though I loved it! And you can look for those same breadcrumbs in the book like the movie since Landor is the POV character.

I’m rambling, hope you enjoyed this silly long post.

#my ramblings #the pale blue eye #the pale blue eye spoilers #augustus landor #movie: The Pale Blue Eye (2022)#can you tell i really enjoyed this movie....cause i did lol #but this was fun to type up!

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ambreiiigns · 11 months

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Ok spit it out, what's with these doubleblack yaoi boys you've been posting. um spill? don't worry about spoilers, i don't want to watch anime i just want to know

doubleblack yaoi boys. ok so first of all sorry for answering Days later i hope u still see this i'm so sorry i don't even know how to explain myself i don't remember what i've been doing. yesterday i was watching a bunch of friday the 13th movies but besides that i have no excuses. secondly i love the energy bc this is exactly how i ended up watching bsd i just cared about them a lot and learned everything i could until i decided i got this far i might as well just watch the damn thing. and i will say w the experience i have. it's not worth it babe just look at them they're the best part you're not missing out. anyway. i don't KNOW WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY UMMMMM the source material is this thing called bungo stray dogs it Is funny bc they decided the way to go abt this was make anime boys out of famous authors and like put half of them in the mafia so you have to sit there and nod when they call edgar allan poe a famous criminal or whatever. like 👍 and then they have powers based on one of their most famous books or whatever. and they're faggy. you will have to see people talk abt fyodor dostoevsky getting hole.

but besides all the Sillies. the doubleblack boys you ask about have genuinely honest to fucking god become like. one of my favorite pairing like. thematically or whatever. their dynamic is insane they are so cool. uhhhh hang on i'm embarassed let me hide

idk they're. they meet at 15 years of age teenagers by my chemical romance blasting. dazai is a member of the local /mafia/ and he's like a pathetic wet cat. he's sad and weird. he feels bored w life and finds it to be, frankly, Not Worth It so he's like passively suicidal but he won't straight up DO IT bc he doesn't like to be in pain bc he's a little baby. he joined the mafia thinking that maybe if he exposes himself to death and violence he'll change his mind but it hasn't worked yet it just made him Fucked Up. his special ability is called no longer human and he can switch off anyone's powers by touching them and it kinda gives him brainworms (will elaborate later). he's the one w the dark hair and wrapped in bandages and the most beautiful boy in the world. chuuya is a street punk baby gang (they're called The Sheep. smh) member ajfjakfiisg he Hates the mafia Hates authority is so so loyal to his little friends and he seems to be just Amiable and likable cause everyone's immediately fond of him to some extent and he's always surrounded by friends or making small talk. and he's like so fuckin bold and brave and arrogant cause he's got according to the author Thee strongest powers in this universe so he never has to like. stop and think. his ability is called upon the tainted sorrow and controls gravity. he's so kickass and liddol. he only fights using his liddol leggies to kinda rein himself in. he's got the red hair and always wears a choker bc he's so sexy and not like other girls.

so they meet bc chuuya's gang has been getting Big thanks to his powers to the point where the mafia's concerned and also they're investigating on some rumors abt arahabaki which is like an old god. chuuya gets dragged to the mafia hq, ends up having to work w dazai to solve this arahabaki stuff, and they. boohoo they DON'T like each other they DON'T wanna work together >:((( they're little enemies to ????? but the thing is To Me they don't even. hate each other that much. like they clash personality-wise sure and they get on each other's nerves on purpose Sure but also they're kids. it's not that big of a deal. they still take time to play arcade games together and make stupid bets during their mission. they're so endearing actually. anyway the catch Is. that arahabaki is actually this thing called a singularity which is when you put together two abilities that have kinda opposite effects and the Government had been doing experiments to create that power so they can use it and CHUUYA's one of the experiments wahh!!! the result is that chuuya has Another cool power called corruption where he just goes batshit and like throws black holes around and stuff and he's unstoppable but the catch is that once he activates this power he can't stop it he just has to wait until it consumes him and he Dies. here's where dazai's nullification ability comes in. more on that later. (it's as if they can only truly Work together. it's as if they were made to be together. haha 🤪) a member of the mafia (Arthur Rimbaud) reveals that he was There when chuuya blew up bc he actually wanted to keep chuuya as a little meat puppet and use that power for himself and YET! even after hearing this! chuuya gets attached to him. like yea the two of them kill him (through the power of Holding Hands mind you) but then he visits his grave and shit. bc this was the first person to tell chuuya that he's human. coming from a place of having seen first hand what makes him feel like he isn't. so he cherishes that a lot. after that the sheep Betray chuuya after some Dazai Manipulation Of Everyone™ bc he does that yk he's a little shithead he's a little evil. BUT he kinda had good intentions bc he's Clever and Observant and noticed so easily how much the sheep were using chuuya for his abilities and he has a Thing where he doesn't. love people using chuuya like that. so he wanted to cut him out of the gang and have him join the mafia with Hiiiiim instead :) and chuuya's mad at him. cause he still took his friends away from him.

but he does join the mafia he Does kinda like it there and him and dazai are assigned to be full time Partners and they get the nickname soukoku, or double black, The Most Feared Duo in the city, thanks to their little corruption-no longer human trick that just wipes out any enemy like it's nothing. then they uhh there's a bit where chuuya is like actually pissed of at dazai unironically for Once and dazai's so mopey that he actually like behaves like a good person so chuuya forgives him. my girl is mad at me i hope i die fr. i'm not familiar enough w this Piece of Lore so i can't elaborate further but like i'm obsessed w it.

anyway THEN jump to when they're about 18 dazai makes another friend named oda who like. sure he's soul-tied to chuuya forever but oda (and Another guy who i don't even wanna Think about) are the only people he'd Call friends. (also they're like a few years older than dazai and i'm Obsessed w the fact that he's such a miserable weirdo that the only people besides chuuya that he can make genuine friends with are some. adults.) and then oda DIES and the fault lies both in the mafia and the third friend and his final words are something about how he wishes he could have gotten out of the mafia to be a good person and he hopes dazai gets to do that. and it kinda Shapes the rest of dazai's life. he switches his perspective around and decides that if exposing himself to death and violence didn't Fix him maybe now he can try being Nice and Helping People and maybe that will make him feel like it's worth being alive. so he disappears from the mafia and a while later joins a local detective agency which is where we find him when the story actually starts. the night he leaves chuuya gets drunk. because he's soo happy. (i think he lied. abt being happy)

the first time chuuya and dazai meet again after this is in some fuckin Dungeon and dazai's chained to the wall and chuuya says it looks Hot and then they talk shit and bicker until they end up collaborating and chuuya lets him go (aka dazai talks his way out of it) and then they pull some fucking cringy ass Joke and they Laugh abt it and it's like. oh wow they're still the same. after all this time apart. we're still Like That and we haven't changed. :) after That they reunite in an episode named after them where they have to babysit some creepy enby kid w a spooky evil doll and fight H. P. Lovecraft during which chuuya has to use corruption and it's Glorious. it had been said that dazai is like speechless and completely fascinated by chuuya when he uses corruption. lol.

then there's the fucking MOVIE. oh my GOD. the main thing w them from the movie is. oh man. dazai 1. joins the Bad Guys but actually he's just Infiltrating to Defeat Them From Within 2. gets found out bc he's not that smooth and stabbed w a poisoned knife 3. gets trapped in a fuckin Dragon or smth and is realistically and understandably presumed dead. and then chuuya gets called in to kill this Dragon (i will not give more context on the Dragon bc i for one just barely understand what the hell is going on) and the only choice is to use corruption even tho he gets advised to not do that since dazai's probably dead and without him chuuya WILL die too. but he's like nah no way. that cockroach would NEVER die. (i trust him) so he uses corruption smashes the dragon to bits and even in the fucking. fugue state that he gets into. he spots dazai manages to recognize him calls out his name and fucking. punches him in the face. making him swallow some antidote he had hidden in his mouth all along. bc somehow dazai ALWAYS knows (remember he's clever) and he's ALWAYS one step ahead. but chuuya always knows HIM. they hadn't discussed this they just. trusted each other to have their back no matter what. dazai trusted chuuya to make him take the antidote and chuuya trusted dazai to snap him out of corruption even when it made no sense. it's about the TRUST!!! like yea no matter the circumstances the relationships the affiliations. this is him. he's got me. hey. of course. this is insane. chuuya punches him. technically upon contact corruption is now switched off. and then dazai reaches up to touch his cheek so softly. and says "you used corruption believing in me? how beautiful" people died tbh. oh you used your super insane deadly powers? even if as far as you were concerned i was as good as dead? you trust me that much? and You trust me enough to sit around this whole movie w a pill in your teeth knowing i'd make you swallow it just at the right moment? how did he even KNOW they're so insane. (then chuuya says "yeah i believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness" and dazai answers "that was a somewhat violent way of waking snow white" shut the fuck up tbh) this is the highest moment. i will be forever insane. and then dazai like shoved chuuya's head in his crotch but i don't fucking CARE STOP BEING HORNY

and then we get to the latest season and chapters. oh man. ok so. dazai's in superjail w his actual archnemesis Fyodor Dostoevsky. people are becoming vampires. stick w me. fyodor brings chuuya Into superjail to help him kill dazai. chuuya is now a vampire and YES he is serving cunt. dazai almost drowns fyodor and chuuya to death and does a sad gay little speech abt how it's sad that it had to end this way and "there were moments where our hearts reached out to each other" girl WHAT???? "like…" and he THINKS abt them doing the corruption trick and holding hands to defeat rimbaud and just Existing next to each other BUT WHAT HE SAYS IS NOTHING. he just waves it off like he ~actually~ can't think of anything bc he doesn't even care haha bye die!! he is so PATHETIC. he is so if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more -core tbh. he's such a liar. and THEN fyodor has chuuya shoot him in the head. lol. and what dazai has to say about THIS is like oooo maybe if i say something sweet chuuya will come back to normal. and so he says "chuuya our fate will not end in a place like this because you and i are destined to" and then he gets SHOT. IN THE HEAD!!! AND I LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!!! personally this was very "you know i… i…" "i don't know" "but he knew well enough" book reddie of them to be h. anyway. dazai's not dead. and you know what's funnier. chuuya was never even a vampire. he put on fake teeth and contacts and Lied. Pretended. Successfully. to like one of the smartest characters in this universe. hello. now i don't KNOW if i'm meant to read this as in it was always planned or if chuuya had this plan and dazai had to catch up w it like i don't know at what point does dazai know that chuuya was faking it. any theory on this is Hilarious to me. but he said the corniest shit to this man's face. good lird. yk before this season people argued that it was chuuya who cared abt dazai more and i can understand where you'd get that from considering how cold and distant and Fake dazai is (you'd be wrong and stupid) but like i feel like after this dazai's lookin pretty down bad ngl. i don't think there's any imbalance between them but if i had to pick. yk. anyway. chuuya Did actually shoot him but then he used his gravity powers to slow the bullet down Inside of the gun so that it wouldn't kill him and fyodor wouldn't see it. and dazai's like. oh yeah this trick? this little game? we used to do this all the time :) HELLO!!!!!! obsessed w THEM!!!! THEY FUCKED AROUND LIKE THIS? OF COURSE THEY DID. i KNOW they sat around age 16 and crafted the most RIDICULOUS convoluted plans Just In Case and then they give them little code names that they STILL remember YEARS after their partnership fucking ENDED this was insane. and then just walk it off? THEY ARE UNPARALLELED. PERIODT.

so. the girls who don't get it will say they hate each other or whatever. me personally i think it's bullshit. i think they just have That type of vibe. obviously they care. obviously they trust each other more than anyone else w everything they have at all times. and maybe they just also find each other fucking annoying and that's All. when they're 15 dazai finds him obnoxious bc he's too impulsive and never bothers to strategize bc he can rely on his powers being soooo fuckin strong and that's All. i think he's just jealous bc he wishes he could be as lazy as chuuya can afford to be. like he has lichrally Nothing to hate chuuya for he's perfect. chuuya on the other hand,,, besides just personality differences where he finds dazai depressing and offputting JAJDJAKFKAKG like dazai takes his friends away from him. his family the only place he feels he belongs to. i get being mad at dazai after that. but not even for long bc he ends up liking the mafia more anyway and agrees w dazai that the sheep were trash to him so what's left. i don't KNOW if dazai ever commits other significant crimes to him like 😭😭 don't get me wrong he might. i mean it when i say he's kinda evil. he might have done some other shit and i'm forgetting. but i don't think there's anything major that causes genuine hate. the closest thing i can imagine is that dazai, again, dragged him away from his friends, into the mafia, and then leaves him there alone. chuuya's loyal to a fault and can't stand betrayal so i'm sure he's pissed. but dazai also says at some point (not to him ofc) that he regrets not bringing chuuya w him when he left the mafia. sigh. so i think it's just mostly silly bickering.

on a Deeper sense i have some Thoughts abt. ugh. i sort of briefly mentioned that chuuya has some issues w feeling human, and dazai has some issues w his ability (no longer human) and like. besides the trust. this is becoming my favorite thing abt them. at their Core they have the same Thing they just go abt it in the opposite way. neither of them feels like a real human being. chuuya has this very artificial power inside of him so strong that it has a will of its own and dazai has a power that deletes if momentarily other powers. they're both a fuckin. affront to nature in their own ways. and when dazai doesn't feel human he just responds w apathy and like whatever ok i'm not then i wanna die and get it over with what's the point. but when CHUUYA doesn't feel human he's fuckin upset abt it and he wants to idk fight to be human anyway and prove himself wrong. and i feel like. they meet and chuuya sees this perfectly human boy who doesn't appreciate having what he's always struggling for. and dazai sees someone who's justified in feeling separated from humanity and yet he wants to force himself into it ? like man i WISH i had an excuse for feeling like this. and chuuya's like man i wish i hadn't had anything done to me that makes me feel like this. and so they're like,,, so fundamentally mad at each other but then they're also the only other bitch they know w this specific problem so even if they go abt it so differently there's comfort there too that they can't get anywhere else like. they are functionally stuck together bc who else is ever gonna Get It. and chuuya always wants proof that he's just as human as anyone else but then dazai !! he knows perfectly well !!! that chuuya IS like def more human than he'll ever be at the very least bc he knows !! better than chuuya ever will !! what it's actually like to be separated from humanity !! and dazai sees all this passion and energy into this little guy and like how could you ever doubt how could you ever wonder. what else would all this come from if you're not human. i don't even have an ounce of this and technically i Am human so what. dazai takes HIMSELF out of humanity chuuya was TAKEN out of it. and then their power. the fact that dazai's powers that he doesn't even like actively take away what makes chuuya feel less human ?!! there is some kind of mutual aid going on. dazai's ability CAN'T be that bad if it's at least fixing chuuya and it's in fact the ONLY thing that can save chuuya's life. and the irony of it being called no longer human when it does the opposite for chuuya. they're the only thing that sort of justifies themselves to Themselves. the place where the inherent anger for each other comes from is also where the inherent trust comes from. so even if they piss each other off and even if they'd never admit to any positive feelings like they'd do for their other friends they're just. tied. red string or whatever. i think the reason why they Keep finding their way to each other even when they work for enemy factions is Well They Have No Choice for better or worse they'll always be stuck together ! for worse probably. i don't think they're thrilled by that. but no one else is ever gonna Get Me like this bitch !!! so we're sticking together. can you believe i'm chuuya nakahara and the only time i can use the full extent of my powers is when This Guy is around. i can never be 100% myself w anyone else. and can you believe i'm osamu dazai and the only time that i feel like my powers aren't an offense to nature itself is when i use them to keep This Guy from blowing up. so my Burden isn't that bad it's actually Good sometimes. probably just for him but that will do. they're like i can never use all of my powers/i can never use my powers in a way that makes me feel ok except when he's involved. no they're fucking insane tbh it's fascinating.

dazai SAYS MULTIPLE TIMES that he thinks abt chuuya every moment of every day (specifically on how to piss him off but Still) (it's their love language) dazai stopped wishing he could die when he was 15 bc he met chuuya and he was the only exciting surprising thing that he'd seen so far and he wanted to stay alive to figure him out. chuuya keeps using corruption over and over and he puts his life in dazai's hands over and over and he never misses. dazai's the only one who's immune to chuuya - his stupidly strong powers sure but also his stupidly strong physical combat skills bc he knows him well enough to dodge. chuuya's the only one who can understand where dazai's going w his plans and meet him there. dazai calls him slug and chuuya calls him mackerel. once someone close to chuuya saw them stand side by side and said they were surprisingly perfect together. you know. so on so forth. do you Get It

also they're like in love and fucking i guess but that's collateral. i'm not gonna pretend to be strictly intellectual abt them. yas we ship them in a silly sexy way. but also they're incredibly fascinating just the way they are in the text. yk what i mean ?

here look at them as a treat. manga collage in chronological order anime reunion and official art for the movy. what on earth i say

#ask #pls lmk if u see this i'd hate to like. leave u hanging. i'm so sorry i like them so much that i overwhelmed myself at the chance to #fuckin talk abt them sjdkskcksf #i busted out Google Docs for this. it's LONG. i'm insane. sorry

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theuntoldoriginsoftheportmafia · 1 month

Text

Part Ⅳ The Port Mafia - Chapter 4.4

✗ Who the hell is Edgar? ✗

7,884

(A/N: This is my favourite chapter, and yet, unfortunatley it is unfinished. It's not super connected to the rest of the plot though so you can read it and the next chapter will still make perfect sense. Pleas don't skip it though, I mean, you can if you want to but, I worked hard on it.)

It takes Ranpo minutes to solve the mystery in each novel. Fukuzawa groans, trying to hide his disappointment.

'I'll just have to try and find something else. And here I thought Poe-san sounded so promising.'

Unbeknownst to Fukuzawa, Ranpo is disappointed too.

'That's a shame. I knew I'd solve it easily, but the writing is really good, and the characters and the setting seem so real! I want to finish these, but it's impossible now that I already know what will happen. It'll just be boring, and I hate being bored.'

Both Ranpo and Fukuzawa sigh.

"No matter, you still have police work. Why don't you go and play with Elise? I'll find someone to pass these on to, maybe Dazai-san will find them an interesting read. They certainly seem dark enough for him." Fukuzawa eyes the novels wearily as he speaks. He hadn't realised exactly how dark the author's work was until he'd skimmed it, but Ranpo read the first parts of each one with joy. Sometimes the boy's tolerance of violence and black and white sense of right and wrong scares him.

Once, Ranpo, still learning to navigate the large Port Mafia headquarters, walked into one of Ozaki-san's torture sessions, not a pretty sight by anyone's standard. Even Poe-san, the writer of these troubling tomes, would flinch at her methods.

The young women being tortured had abandoned the mafia and started up a rival gang using their intel to try and take over the city's trading routes. Their leadership was clumsy at best and in doing so they had nearly brought havoc into the already fragile port city. Some American trillionaire was trying to buy up the gem trading routes, and they approached the women for a deal. If they had succeeded then it would tell foreign organisations that they were free to take chunks out of the city and eventually it would become a mess of warring foreign gangs.

When Fukuzawa realised what Ranpo had seen he attempted to comfort him, to which Ranpo replied with a shrug, "Eh, they deserved it. They were going to bring disorder and chaos back to our city. Why shouldn't they be punished?" And with that he'd taken another sweet from his pocket, popped it in his mouth and walked off, showing no sign of distress.

In the present, Ranpo looks at the books, conflicted. He doesn't know why but he doesn't like the idea of them being given away. "Fukuzawa-san, wait."

The man turns, surprised, "Yes, Ranpo?"

"I'll keep the books." There is something almost defiant in the teenager's voice.

"You will?" Fukuzawa's eyebrows raise of their own accord.

Ranpo turns to look out the window, suddenly embarrassed, though he can't place why. "Ah, well, it would be disrespectful to Poe-san, who spent so much time and effort to write these if I didn't even finish them, no?"

Ranpo isn't sure if that's a lie or not. The statement is objectively true, maybe? But there's no way for Poe-san to ever find out whether he's read the books or not, and an author so great would surely care not for the opinions of one young kid. And Ranpo has never cared much for what people thought before.

Both Ranpo and Fukuzawa are conscious of this sudden change in attitude, but neither put their feelings into words.

"The books weren't expensive, and money is hardly an issue. I won't be offended if you don't like them." Fukuzawa says. He knows how much Ranpo cares about him, and hates for the boy to force himself to like the present.

Ranpo doesn't answer, too busy thinking. 'I can't finish these. What's the point of finishing them? But I can't seem to make myself give them up either. Why? . . . Ugh. But isn't it ruder to let them go to waste sitting on my shelf instead of giving them to someone who can properly enjoy them?'

Ranpo can't decide.

'Since when has he cared for the feelings of strangers? The author will hardly know if he has finished the stories or not, so why? Or perhaps it's something else . . . do these mysteries remind him of his father, maybe? Yes, that must be it.'

Fukuzawa smiles sympathetically at his adopted son, he can see the conundrum and spares him the difficulty of answering a question requiring him to look inside himself.

"That's fine, Dazai-san can read them anytime. Good day, Ranpo-kun."

And with that, his mask is back on, and he's gone, leaving Ranpo alone with his thoughts.

It's nearly 22:00, Ranpo is normally asleep by 21:00, yet he lies wide awake, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom in his quiet home. Most of the house is perfectly adult, grand, and giving no indication that anyone under 20 resides there, but here, in the only child's bedroom, glow in the dark star stickers cover the walls.

Ever since birth, Ranpo has been unable to sleep in complete darkness, not out of fear, just simple inability. Maybe it's because he's always hated not being able to see everything, not knowing what's going on in his surroundings. Or maybe it's something else entirely.

After a year of sleepless nights, for both Ranpo and his parents, his mother put these stickers up. One would think that after nearly 17 years they would have stopped glowing or peeled off, but somehow they shine just as brightly as the first day they were bought.

Suddenly another light flashes, a more natural one. Lightning.

'Oh. A thunderstorm.' Ranpo notes this apathetically. He loves thunderstorms, but now he's too busy thinking of the books on his shelf, the first new ones he's gotten since his parents died.

He used to love books. Every night his mother and father would sit in his room, one on the foot of the bed and the other in the corner rocking chair, and take turns reading to him. Never mystery novels, those were too easy, but everything else. Fantasy, action, adventure, dystopian, science fiction. Ranpo didn't always understand them but he loved the sounds of his parent's voices and whenever he had a question they would stop and explain patiently while he drank in the new information hungrily. Sometimes, his father would simply sit and tell Ranpo about the case he was working. And those stories were by far the best.

Now he has no time to read, and he knows the endings to all the books anyway. Yet, when his parents were alive he loved to hear the same stories over and over and over again, to hear the way they would read it, the theatrical rise and fall as they did voices for each of the characters, reading it slightly differently each time.

Now the words just sound empty.

A draft swirls through the room.

"Ugh, I must've left the window cracked." Ranpo sighs, voicing his thoughts just to break the silence as he gets up to close it. As he does, another gust blows through, knocking down a stack of blankets.

He freezes.

Among the pile of cloth is a piece he hasn't seen in a long time. A green and white throw woven in a zig-zag pattern, with tasselled ends. He remembers how they tickled when he would brush against his mother as she sat with him.

Feeling suddenly heavy with emotions he picks the fabric up, burying his face in it. Nostalgia washes over him. Having been hidden in the stack of other blankets for so long it still smells like his mother, her minty conditioner, the same kind Ranpo now uses but a little different, mixed with her gentle but distinctive perfume to create a smell that is effortlessly Hirai Tohru.

Thunder shakes the quiet room and Ranpo's cheeks feel wet as if the rain is inside.

"Oh, yeah, the . . ."

With clumsy movements, he closes the window, just before the raindrops soak the wooden floor. But the wetness doesn't stop.

"Am I . . .?"

Ranpo reaches up to his face, feeling the tears with surprise. He hasn't cried in a while.

There's a soft tapping on the door, a gentle rapping. Lenore wants in, to comfort Ranpo in her own bird way.

"It's . . . okay, Len, I'm . . . fine" Ranpo manages, not sure why he's bothering to hide his sobs from a bird.

When the door is cracked the large raven flies in, landing on the shelf, right next to the new nooks. She taps them curiously with her beak.

Hesitantly, Ranpo wraps his mother's blanket around him, sitting himself on the window seat to watch the rain. A memory overtakes him, a comforting quilt of several memories.

His mother sitting on this very same window seat with young Ranpo in her lap, the two of them staring out at the rain together, watching the lighting in fascination, counting to see how far away the winter storm was.

Then again in Spring watching the wildflowers bloom, colourful buds rising up from the weeds.

And in Autumn watching the leaves turn brown and float gracefully to the ground.

In all the seasons watching the small animals, the rabbits and the squirrels and the birds, pass by the window. Patiently she'd nod and smile and answer as he pointed out each one and asked its name, and when he got too sleepy she'd start pointing them out until he drifted off.

"M-mum." Ranpo whispers, voice cracked from the tears.

He hates crying and being sad and how his throat and stomach hurt from sobbing and how his vision gets all blurry.

Maybe he's going crazy, but he can hear his mother's voice.

"The best part of any story isn't the end, it's how you get to the end. Sometimes it's nice to read the same thing over and over again, to live in the story and with the characters, simply because it's warm and familiar and because it makes you happy. It doesn't matter that you already know how it ends, all that matters is the journey of reading it. That is something that never gets old. You can soak up the turns of phrase and details, and fall, for a time, into another world. To me, that's one of the most beautiful things a human can experience."

This is what his mother had told him as he fell asleep the night before her death. He'd had a fever that day and everything felt fuzzy around the edges. He hated being ill even then, hated the stuffy nose, and itchy scratchy throat, and the feeling of being weighed down. But when his parents read to him all of it seemed to go away as he was pulled into the novel and suddenly he was as good as new inside of the fictional world.

When morning came his mother made him stay in bed instead of coming with her and his father into the city. Even his favourite cartoon couldn't entertain him, he was so eager for their return with the promised sweets and new books.

Now in his dark room, Ranpo can hear his own voice, a younger version weeping tears of longing.

With his fever broken, but still in bed, he was bored and resorted to pacing the longest corridor in the house. He kept pacing, repeating his path exactly every time, waiting for his parent's return, with a determination that many adults lack.

Eventually, he knew it had been too long, his parents had never left him for such a great length of time, and knowing this his pacing intensified until he was running back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then, out of breath, he was out of the door desperate to find them with no idea how. All alone he stood on the hill overlooking the city, cold air stinging his tear damp cheeks, the scream stinging his throat.

And he knew like he knew every other thing he figured out so easily. He knew his longing was pointless and so it turned to grief, the feeling more vast than the city sprawling out beneath him.

The memory feels suffocating, the sobs so frequent Ranpo can hardly breathe through his burning lungs and chest. He doesn't want to think of this. Why can't he stop? He just wants it to stop! How can he make it stop?

He does the first thing he can think of, grabbing the first book in reach. He's tempted to throw it, but his respect for books is ingrained too deep, so he opens it to the first page and begins to read.

It's one of Poe-san's novels.

It starts just how Ranpo remembers it from earlier today, but the strangest feeling comes over him. A feeling of relaxation. Now that he doesn't have to worry about how it ends he's free to notice the little things. The way the character is described with certain details so purposefully left out or included is very careful, a story crafted with love and care. It reminds him of the way his father used to tell stories and suddenly his tears don't hurt so much.

With each drop that falls his father's voice becomes clearer, his own internal monologue taking on Hirai Kogorou's voice until it's his father reading him the book.

The sun begins to rise just as Ranpo closes the book. He finds himself disappointed that the novel, which looked so long at first glance, is over already. He looks out the window, sees the colourful sky, and realises with a start that he spent all night reading.

'I thought I would be bored but I wasn't! I wasn't bored at all! That was great! Mum was right, the middle is much better than the end! I should read another one.'

As Ranpo finishes the thought a yawn overtakes him. He huffs. It also becomes clear that his head is throbbing.

'All that crying really tired me out, at this rate I won't be able to keep my eyes open. I think if I look at another page, I might faint. Argh, and there's still work . . .'

"Wait, sleep deprivation counts as an illness right?" Ranpo asks the room.

Lemore caws back, seeming to nod her head in confirmation.

"Great! I'll just call in sick."

Dragging himself up from the comfy position, Ranpo retrieves his phone from its charger and dials Fukuzawa.

"Yes, Ranpo?" Fukuzawa sounds barely awake.

'Oh, right, it's still early for him. Oops.'

"Fukuzawa-san, I'm not feeling well, so I can't come in today."

Ranpo's voice is still gravelly from the sobbing fit and now slurred while sleep overtakes his body.

Fukuzawa is immediately concerned., not questioning the early call-in time, "Not feeling well? Do you have a fever?"

Ranpo rolls his eyes, appreciating the concern but not wanting to extend the conversation any further, the crackly quality of voices coming through phone speakers is only exacerbating his headache. "No. It's just a small cold. I'll be in by tomorrow."

"Alright . . . but don't push yourself if you aren't feeling better by tomorrow. Come in when you feel absolutely healthy again."

Ranpo has to smile at the leader's concern. "Yup."

With that he hangs up, falling into bed, disappearing into dreams.

He dreams of fictitious worlds, beating hearts, wine cellars, black cats and his father with him, a face to go with the voice, the two solving the mysteries side by side. He hasn't dreamt his father's face so clearly in a long time.

He wakes up in tears again, a softer kind of crying this time, the tears gentle displays of his happiness. It's dark out again, and thankfully Ranpo is still tired.

'There is hope yet for my sleep schedule. It's not quite my normal bedtime though, I'll wait an hour. But what to do until then . . .'

He sighs shakily, thinking of all the emotions he's felt in the small span of 24 hours. He can't deny that these books have, beyond a doubt, moved him.

'I know! I'll write a praising letter to Poe-san!' Ranpo smiles at the thought. He adores praise, so it must be the perfect gift.

Lenore circles the room, grabbing paper and pencil and dropping them on Ranpo's desk. He thanks the bird with a treat from the glass jar.

Then he begins to write.

"Dear Poe-san,

I really liked all of your novels, even though the mysteries were somewhat predictable and took me barely a minute to solve, (it's hardly unexpected since I am the Greatest Detective in the World) I still had an amazing time reading. Your characters are so well written, I'd like to live in a world like that. The simple, chronological world of a novel where everything that happens has a reason behind it that makes sense.

Maybe if I lived in a novel my parents would still be here with me, or maybe their deaths were all part of some greater plot that I have yet to deduce.

Anyway, I've never finished reading a book since they passed. I always figure out the ending long before the story is over and I never saw the point of reading further after that, so I have a bunch of barely-read books on my shelf. Because of you, I'm going to read all of them!

Getting praise is one of my favourite things in the world, so I thought I'd write this letter to you. I hope you like it."

Ranpo could end the letter there but something deep inside of him makes him continue.

"Reading your novels reminded me of when my parents used to read to me when I was younger and to be honest it made me cry. A lot. Reading your work made me feel as if my mother and father were right beside me. So congratulations, Poe-san, you're now one of the few people who can make me cry. That's a real achievement, be proud of yourself, and keep writing books so I can read them!

~ The Greatest Detective in the World"

Ranpo folds the letter into an envelope happily, unaware that some of his comments could come off quite offensively. He also pays no mind to the fact that the letter is written in Japanese, a language which it is unlikely that Poe speaks, but who knows? Maybe things will work out anyway.

'In the morning I'll ask one of the goons to find his address.'

Still smiling, Ranpo falls back into bed.

In the morning Fukuzawa greets him, fretting until Ranpo shakes him off. He's not sure why, but he doesn't want Fukuzawa to know what happened. This feels too personal. And he's eager to send his letter so he hurries past, brushing him off.

Fukuzawa tries not to take it personally.

'Ranpo must still be grumpy. I'm sure some sweets will cheer him up.'

The lower floors of the Port Mafia are both darker and lighter than the upper floors. They hold less pure evil but are also farther from the sun. Ranpo's mask, a white Greek theatre mask with its mouth twisted into an uncomfortable-looking smile, seems to glow in the dimly lit corridor.

On one of these lower floors is a small cubicle belonging to a man by the name of Sakaguchi-san. He has a precious sort of gift, not very much use in active combat but still a nice asset to have. Discourse on Decadence it's called. An information extraction ability, making Sakaguchi-san the best out of all the analysts working under Ranpo, or rather pretending to.

Sakaguchi-san is a spy. Ranpo knows this, but it just makes him all the more useful, he has information not only from the Port Mafia but also the Special Operations Division for Unusual Powers and its international network. Sakaguchi-san will surely know the address of Edgar Allan Poe since the author has been involved in an ability user case.

Ranpo opens the door, knowing Sakaguchi-san will be inside. Sakaguchi-san is always inside. He looks up with tired eyes, not bothering to flinch at the mask, he's too exhausted.

"Ah, Clairvoyant-san. What can I help you with?"

"I need you to find someone for me."

With the help of a young ability using back alley hacker Sakaguchi-san met a few months back, finding someone will be no trouble.

—

The letter arrives at Mr. Poe's home exactly 3 days later.

He wouldn't have even bothered to check but on his way back inside from some errands his racoon, Karl, the physical manifestation of his ability, notices the peculiar black envelope with its blood red wax seal sticking out from his mailslot. The fuzzy mammal pulls the envelope from the slot with his mouth, and scampers up his master's shoulders to finish the delivery.

"Oh! Why, thank you Karl."

'What could this be? I never receive mail. Mr. Fitzgerald maybe? No, he would never bother with something like this, and he has my number.'

Thoroughly mystified, Mr. Poe takes the letter into his study, opening it carefully with a tarnished, antique letter opener.

He looks at the note, it's written in swoopy characters. He recognises them as Kanji.

'Something from Japan? Is it from Gelhart Security Services? Couldn't they just send a message through Mr. Fitzgerald. No, they would have written in English anyways. Oh! Oh, what if someone else found out . . .'

He refers to Francis Fitzgerald, older than Poe but still a young man at only 22 and a half who hopes to establish an organisation for ability users he calls The Guild. He approached Poe after finding out about his ability from an anonymous source.

Poe was worried, terrified. He's kept his secret so well for so long, dictating his novels to an unaware typist just to avoid any mishaps.

Mr. Fitzgerald told him the anonymous informant had seemed friendly, and that they had said not to have told anyone else of Poe's ability. It seemed they were trying to help out. Mr. Fitzgerald couldn't, even with all his resources, track down the informant but no one else had approached Poe so it was assumed they were telling the truth.

Shaking his head to clear away the anxious thoughts he begins to read.

Languages have always come easily to him, and he's been diligently studying Japanese ever since Mr. Fitzgerald offered him a Guild adjacent position, hoping that when The Guild is fully established, Poe would join. The position involves heading up a security service that the billionaire recently bought. The service is located in Yokohama, Japan and was originally funded by the German government but went underground when the subsidy ended, which was unfortunately shortly after Mr. Fitzgerald bought it. The man was warned that there must be something wrong for the company to sell for that cheap but he was optimistic, a fault he's still learning to overcome. Not liking the idea of owning a company responsible for illegal activities Mr. Fitzgerald paid Poe to go and straighten them out.

Why did he pick Poe? The author has no idea.

"It's alright if they pillage the occasional gang warehouse now and then, but having armed robbers on my payroll is not a very nice look. If they operate in the criminal world let them at least do so with more subtlety. Don't you agree? And think, this will be an excellent chance to experience a culture so different from the West." is what Mr. Fitzgerald had said.

Now Poe is thankful he'd started learning the small country's language. He can understand every word but even still he reads it through thrice just to be sure he has it right.

'P-predictable! He solved it in MINUTES!? N-no. No way. This "Detective" must be lying. T-that's not possible . . .' Poe's thoughts turn desperate. He is the greatest mystery novel writer. He is. His work is NOT predictable.! No one can take this, certainly not some random stranger who writes as if he isn't over the age of 13. This has to be some joke, it has to be. His mysteries have to be interesting and engaging. He has to be the best, nothing less is acceptable, nothing less would make his father acknowledge him. 'he couldn't have . . .'

Poe starts to hyperventilate, spiralling into his mind, his head getting foggy.

'Calm yourself, calm yourself, calm yourself. Edgar Allan Poe! Calm yourself at once!'

He breathes deeply, concentrating as hard as he can on steadying his breath and with each inhale and exhale he shoves the inadequacy down into a mental box. He imagines it as an ornately decorated treasure chest, beautiful but filled with evil. He may resent the box and all that fills it, but it does the job.

When he reviews the letter once more, with a semi-clear mind it really is very sweet, assuming any of it is true.

'My books . . . made this boy cry?' Poe doesn't know what to do with this information, he never thought anyone would find his gory tales emotionally stirring. 'He still enjoyed my books, despite their claims of its predictability . . . is that perhaps what really matters? No. I must find out what happened!

But still . . . he gave such praise. I have never received a letter like this one. What was the point? To insult me and then give me the highest compliment, saying that I changed him so deeply, is this boy mentally unstable? What happened to his parents? What's with the "Greatest detective in the World" thing? He says my books led him back into his love of reading and he did seem quite eager. He said he wants me to write more books, for him to read! ' Poe feels a warmth spreading in his chest at the encouragement. There is something cute, he thinks, about being referred to with the Japanese honorific. And then there's the biggest question of all: 'S-should I . . . write back?'

Poe feels foolish as he types World's Greatest Detective, Japan into the search bar on his computer.

A slew of Japanese news articles come up, all about a man called The Clairvoyant. At first, it looks promising until Poe notices the dates.

'No, this isn't right. This man would be much too old to have written a letter in such a carefree, childish style.' Poe thinks as he looks at one of the few pictures taken of Hirai Kogorou. He frowns. He needs to know who has outwitted him.

So he does the only thing he can: write back. Determined to hide his confusion and desperation behind politeness he begins the letter by thanking the detective for his praise and then starts questioning him.

'It's unlikely that I'll get an answer especially since the man didn't even include his name and the return address was a fake, but I have to try. Maybe if I question his intelligence enough he'll take the bait and write me back? Hopefully . . . Ah, this is quite pathetic, but what else can I do?'

With shaky hands, he puts his message onto paper.

"Dear "Greatest Detective in the World",

I want to start this letter by asking you to forgive any errors I may make, I only started studying Japanese a few months ago, so if I seem to be struggling to get my point across or if any of my phrasing doesn't make sense or seem as elegant as it is in my published works, that is why.

To begin I will say that I was quite shocked when I received your letter as getting mail is a rare event for me, particularly in this new digital age, so thank you for surprising me.

Now, as to the contents of your writing, those were a surprise as well. I thank you for your compliments, but some of your other comments confused me.

Most who read my novels are sufficiently stumped by them, as is my reputation. I am the author whose carefully thought through prose keeps readers unaware, basking, lost and confused in its beauty until the very last page. So, forgive me if I find it hard to believe that you have so easily cracked the code to these mysteries.

Who on earth are you? How old are you, because, if you're just a kid, then please stop joking around. Nobody finds you funny.

What reason do you have for claiming the title of "World's Greatest Detective"? Isn't that a title that others should give you, not yourself (there are no news articles about you)? What have you done to earn it? What makes you think you're so smart?

But of course, I don't mean to be rude, not at all. All good authors must learn from and enjoy the opinions and feedback from fans and critics alike. What exactly makes you feel my mysteries are predictable? How did you work them out? I'd like to know.

~ Sincerely, E.A. Poe

P.S. I feel rude addressing you as Detective-san, so If you don't mind. I would like to know your name, even if just your surname or whatever you'd like me to call you by."

Satisfied with this he seals the blood-red envelope with black wax seal of the Poe family crest.

A few days later Ranpo receives the letter. He opens it growing amused as he reads the contents. He can see the desperation in Poe's handwriting. Cruel satisfaction rises inside of him at having bested one of America's genius writers. He isn't known in the mafia as The Clairvoyant for no reason.

He's smiling as he scrawls his letter.

"Dear Poe-san,

I'd like for you to call me The Greatest Detective in the World or The World's Greatest Detective, either is fine.

Your Japanese is very good, you must be studying really hard. That's probably the one thing you're better at than me. I've picked up some Korean and a tiny bit of Chinese since my job involves international clients but I'm miserable at learning languages.

I did indeed solve the mysteries in your books, but you shouldn't feel bad because I am The World's Greatest Detective. I can't tell you much about myself, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Don't bother searching me up online again, you still won't find anything.

For your second question: While I did initially crown myself with this title, the police I aid, all agree with me, as well as my colleagues and subordinates. I solve criminal cases and deduce all sorts of information in seconds. That's how I solved your novel.

But I will tell you this,"

Ranpo proceeds to list exactly how he figured the mystery out, his smile growing as he does.

"So that's how I did it. I hope you're satisfied!

Write something else for me, okay. Something actually hard to solve.

~ The Greatest Detective in the World"

When Poe receives the reply he had been pacing with anticipation for, he doesn't bother with the formality of a letter opener, tearing the envelope open with his hands and retrieving the letter. Karl nibbles curiously at the scraps of envelope.

He ignores the put-down about languages, growing more confused as he reads the detective's reply.

He's learnt a few things but none of them are helpful in identifying this mysterious man.

1) He is work involves clients, some of them from other countries (across Asia at least)

2) He works with the police. ('Is he some sort of agent of Interpol? That would explain how he'd found my address, particularly since I was recently involved in a criminal case recently. I think there was even a new article about it.')

3) He has people working under him, but also people at his level so he must be at least somewhat high ranked, even if not at the highest rank.

4) He is very very very observant and very very very smart.

5) Outwitting him is probably hopeless.

'How did he know I'd searched him up? Well, I guess it's a fair assumption, that is what most people would do.'

So Poe writes back. This time he has a plan, a plan of vengeance, a plan to ensure that he and he alone is the best. In this letter, he sends a fragment of his new novel under the guise that he wants to see if Ranpo can truly deduce the ending without the entire text, a way to ensure no cheating.

The truth is that the fragment is infused with his ability, Black Cat in the Rue Morgue. His ability allows him to transport anyone into his novels, all they have to do is read a single word. He can even transport them into a book that wasn't written by him, so long as it's one they're currently reading. They can only get out until they solve the conflict of the story, usually a crime or other mystery, seeing as that's Poe's favourite genre, and explain the answer aloud, but this book is different.

This story isn't a mystery, there's no crime to solve. Poe plans for the man who's defeated his novels to die in this story, transported in by a page from the novel he's crafted for this specific purpose, never to return to the outside world. Thus sealing his position as the greatest mystery author.

As Poe sticks his letter in the public post box (he has to use it because the post carriers don't bother checking his house anymore), he hesitates.

'Should I really go through with this? I've never committed murder on someone who I have every reason to believe is completely innocent, maybe even an officer of the law, before? Is this the right thing? And if by some miracle, he doesn't die he could reveal the fact that I have an ability . . . oh! What to do, what to do, what to do?! . . . It will all be fine. What could possibly go wrong? I must go through with this if I am to be the best, and I MUST be the best. There is no other way. Unless I become the best, my father will never acknowledge me.'

Poe slips the envelope in. He is the best and he will stay the best, His father will eventually have to accept him. And when he does he'll come to visit his son whom he abandoned before his first birthday . . . and that's when Poe will kill him. Maybe slit his throat right there, maybe trap him in a novel to starve, or get mauled by beasts. Either way, it will be a pain equivalent to what Poe and his mother experienced.

His mother, his poor mother. She could barely get out of bed after her husband left and eventually, she succumbed to pneumonia, it wasn't exactly a quick death. Poe was only two years of age at the time. He shouldn't be able to remember anything, but he does. He remembers how he watched her take increasingly difficult breaths, he watched the life drain out of her with each laboured exhale and listened to her fever-slurred words of affection to him as she died. Maybe it's because of his ability, maybe he had an eidetic memory even then.

Poe will kill that wretched man, and no one, Interpol or otherwise, is going to stop him.

With his shoulders set, his heart steeled and his mind a little manic but determined, he drops the letter in, walking quickly back to his home. Inside he's greeted by one of his many bookcases, volume after volume, spine after spine, and he's read them all, and he will probably do so again. They remind him of the detective's first letter.

"I've never finished reading a book since they passed. I always figure out the ending long before the story is over and I never saw the point of reading further after that, so I have a bunch of barely read books on my shelf. Because of you, I'm going to read all of them!"

Poe stops in his tracks, the thought sending ice through his veins. The detective will never finish reading any of those books . . . because of him.

'Ah, it can't be helped. This is absolutely necessary.' Poe assures himself, yet still he feels the sadness building up inside him like footsteps descending into a dark cavern or bricks being added to a wall. The turning of phantom pages echoes through the house.

'At least I have Karl. Karl will be my friend forever!'

He shakes away the thoughts, slinging his jacket over the back of his chair and kicking off his boots, far more carelessly than he would ever be ordinarily. Feeling a little lighter he heads straight to the large mahogany cabinet in his barely used sitting room. After all, nothing goes better with murder than underage drinking.

Poe stands for a moment in front of the piece of furniture, the windows, decorated with swirling patterns, make him dizzy despite his sobriety. Slowly he takes the key from the top of the cabinet, which he's only recently been tall enough to reach flatfooted or without shoes, and turns it in the lock. The cabinet opens with a resounding click revealing the mostly still full bottles of sparkling alcohol inside.

Aside from the occasional murder, Poe wouldn't consider himself a lawbreaker. In all his time living alone, he hadn't touched his father's stash of expensive liquor. He'll legally be able to in only two years, but right now he just wants to feel the exhilaration of intoxication which he's heard so much about from books, telly, and older friends. Yes, he knows the expensive whiskey is wasted on a young and inexperienced pallet like his but this was his father's so he gives about zero fucks.

Forgoing the fancy crystal glasses he grabs his favourite mug, (with a raccoon wearing a witch's hat and riding on a broom) and fills it with the strongly scented brown liquor. He downs it in five gulps. It burns like when you put an alcohol swab too close to your nose or bite your nails after using hand sanitiser, only so much worse. It leaves him sputtering and gasping for breath, hacking so hard he sounds like a certain black and white-haired inhabitant of Yokohama.

Even still, his veins fill with a comforting warmth, as if there's a miniscule fire roaring through him. When he recovers himself, he pours another mug. This one, Karl knocks from his hand, chittering angrily. Poe knows it's impossible (is it), because Karl's a racoon, but somehow he wears an expression that's so human. A look of disappointment, and . . . worry. The mug, thankfully, lands on the carpet, but the noise reverberates uncomfortably inside Poe's skull and the liquor spills out over the floor.

" . . . H-hey, whu zat for?' he slurs.

Karl, very smart for a raccoon, grabs the bottle cork and uses his paws to push it in, then takes the neck between his teeth and scampers off.

" . . . Eh? W-waaaait givit back!"

The racoon doesn't turn, but seems to shake his head as he disappears into the darkness. Poe could summon him back, he lacks the faculties to do much of anything right now. He starts after his pet and the bottle of liquor but all the doors are closed and he can't seem to remember how to open them. So, with a great amount of effort he staggers to his room and falls into bed, red faced, and still fully clothed.

'It . . . will be . . . so sad . . . to say goodbye . . . to my dear detective . . . when . . . he was . . . the one . . . to get the most . . . out of . . . my novels' Poe thinks drunkenly, a sad sort of smile on his face as sleep overtakes him.

(A/N: Author-san doesn't drink, certainly not fancy alcohol, so R.I.P. these descriptions, lmao.

Also for anyone wondering, Poe can tell Ranpo's gender despite not leaving his name because of his use of the personal pronoun "boku".

I have a HC that Karl is the manifestation of Poe's ability, like Elise is of Mori's. This is because Karl seems to be way smarter than a typical racoon and able to do things intuitively that normal racoons can't without extensive training. Karl normally has behaviour and habits of a normal raccoon, but when he senses Poe's in danger (say of alcohol poisoning) he becomes almost human-like.)

—

Ranpo expects the reply and is pleased when it comes. He may or may not have intentionally used inflammatory phrasing just to ensure his dialogue with the author, an admittedly great mind, would continue.

'Such a shame that he feels such animosity towards me. It's not like it's my fault his mysteries are simple. Mori-san would be pleased with my underhandedness.'

In his office he opens the letter, pausing to take a bite of a candy bar, then he sets his eyes on it. As soon as he processes the first word he feels himself being sucked down, down down.

'What the—? What's going on? Is this some sort of trap?'

Before he can finish his thought he lands in a new world. It doesn't materialise around him like something new, instead it stays static and stable as any earthly room or scene, as if it has already been long established and Ranpo is the outsider.

'Since when did isekai become a real thing?' Ranpo scoffs as he takes in his new surroundings.

He's outside. The day is warm and the sky is blue, dotted with perfectly shaped white clouds, like cotton balls or candy floss. The rolling hills are alive with grass of vibrant green and wildflowers add brillant pops of colour. Majestic oak trees sway in the gentle breeze providing shade, on one tree there is a swing secured to a branch.

To the side of the house is a small lake, it ripples slowly jiggling the lily pads that float upon its surface. A crane stands at the edge and frogs splash happily until the crane spears one of them violently with its beak and gulps it down.

There's something unsettling about the place. He feels it in his bones, but Ranpo can't point out what it is specifically. It's already driving him mad. Everything looks as it should be but he can feel something underneath like a thrumming evil. He files the information away for later and continues observing.

In front of Ranpo is a road, a driveway and it leads up to a large mansion. The mansion is a beautiful grand place with new paint and trim, light shines from within the spotless windows, and smoke rises charmingly from the chimney. It's perfect.

Too perfect, apart from one thing, the single imperfection in the utopic vignette.

A thin crack extends from the house's intricately tiled roof, down the front of the house, just missing the front door, and disappearing into the lake.

'Now that isn't right.' Ranpo wants to be pleased that he's found something to justify his unease, but he can't shake said unease enough to be pleased.

He's a Port Mafia executive as well as a police consultant, he's seen more gore and death than most, yet he scarcely thinks of it again, but this sickly peace sends a shiver through him.

At the same time, he feels too hot. And the seams on his clothes, usually hardly noticeable (and picked for that very reason) are suddenly very irritating. He whines and tugs at his shirt surprised when he finds a thicker material. Wool.

"Ack!" He squirms quickly out of the heavy suit jacket and begins loosening the tie, and unbuttoning the vest. After he's shed the layers, he runs to the edge of the lake, shaking his hands and arms out a bit manically at the new freedom. The crane doesn't startle, instead looks him dead in the eyes before returning to its hunt for frogs.

On the surface of the lake, Ranpo stares, aghast at his reflection. He's wearing a three-piece suit, a term he only knows because of his father's love for the Sherlock Holmes series. He reaches for his glasses and realises they aren't in his pockets, instead there's something smooth.

He takes it out. It's a folded sheet of paper, almost identical to the one he held only minutes ago, but this one is faded and creased. It tells him that he was asked to visit this strange place by a friend suffering from a mysterious illness alongside his sister.

'Perhaps my "friend" can help?' Ranpo thinks doubtfully.

He walks up the drive until he arrives at the front door, like his own home, it has a knocker, which he uses to rap thrice on the heavy wooden door.

Someone answers just after the third knock. A man, tall and slender and looking quite pale, his brown locks are frizzy and slightly matted, and barely visible beneath a stringy fringe are his eyes, which Ranpo guesses are dull murky brown on a good day, marred by dark circles.

(A/N: For those of you wondering, yes Poe did subconsciously model the main character after himself because of his desire to meet Ranpo.)

"Oh, Hello friend. Thank God you arrived on time, and with all this terrible weather. It's truly a miracle indeed."

"What?" Ranpo looks behind him. There's only the sunny, perfect sky and that seemingly never ending road behind him.

"The weather, the storms, the lighting? Haven't you noticed? It's rather hard to miss, is it not? Are you quite alright?" The man sounds frantic, his voice cracking and when he runs his hand through his hair, his fringe pulls away, revealing fevered eyes. "Well, I really must insist you get inside. You're getting soaked."

"Oh, uh, yeah."

More creeped out than ever, Ranpo tries to peer around the man and see into the cracked house. Behind the owner is what must be the house's main staircase. The bainsters are chipped and crumbling away, the carpet is torn and rotten. Broken, flickering lamps, slashed, red stained paintings and animal heads in various states of decay line the walls.

Ranpo knows it's not a good idea to go in there, but having no other choice, he enters. Immediately as his foot crosses the threshold he feels the dampness seep into his clothes. He is, in fact, soaked.

Inside the house, everything is different. The mansion is what can only described as decadent. The stairs shine, perfectly polished with soft maroon linear carpet. The sconces give the foyer a soft glow, perfectly lighting the charming landscape paintings and mounted animals heads, unharmed on their plaques.

'Unharmed aside from the fact that their heads are no longer attached to their bodies.'

The friend directs Ranpo to a perfecty fluffy sofa. He knows he shouldn't sit, no matter how safe it looks. If there was ever a time to get a bad feeling, it's now.

"Oh, I'm quite stiff from my travels, I'd prefer to stand."

"Of course, I shall prepare some tea." the man leaves. Ranpo realises that he doesn't know his name. The letter was only signed "your friend".

When Ranpo looks out the window he sees the most disturbing things of all. The day is now dark, the sky black with heavy clouds, lighting striking fiercely, trees swaying and the flowers blown over. He can even hear the creaking of the swings, and the rippling of the pond mixed in with the flap of wings.

Frantically he runs for the door. The man was right, it is raining. But as soon as Ranpo steps out of the threshold, the day is calm again.

"My friend? Are you determined to catch your death out there?"

Ranpo turns, quite startled. "No, . . . I was simply investigating what could be the cause of your illness. You were right, this weather isn't good for anyone."

To Be Continued . . .

(A/N: The next chapter is finished. It's a separate storyline so don't worry it will make sense.)

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd au #bungou stray dogs au #bungo stray dogs au #bsd alternate universe #bungou stray dogs alternate universe #bungo stray dogs alternate universe #port mafia edogawa ranpo #port mafia ranpo edogawa #port mafia ranpo #bsd ranpoe #ranpoe

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pb-dot · 4 months

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Film Friday: The Last Jedi

Oooooooooooh boy. I would say I have a complicated relationship with Star Wars as a franchise, but from what I hear from other fans I've discussed this with, that's normal and, on some level, inevitable. Star Wars is sometimes good, sometimes bad, and almost always a mix of the two. It's a part of the formula at this point, every bit as much as light sabers and obscure space religion magic. That said, there is one Star Wars movie that holds a special place in my heart, and I want to talk about it and what it did to the franchise, or at least tried to do before the Franchise Management people over at the house of mouse got scared and released a feature-length breaking maneuver of a film, but that's just something that happens some times. Let's get on with The Last Jedi.

As so often is the case in second installments, the war isn't quite going the rebellion's way, and at the start of the movie our heroes are caught in a chase to save what little of the rebellion remains. In an attempt to turn the tides, Rey seeks out the council of legendary Jedi Luke Skywalker, while Finn, Poe and newly recruited mainliner Rose Tico attempt to find a way to circumvent the First Order's tracking to beat the chase.

Of course, things don't turn out quite that way. Luke is quite reluctant to get back into the "anything to do with the force"-business, and Finn, Rose and Poe find more than trouble navigating conflicting loyalties and First Order Infrastructure. It's a very "part two in the triology" kind of thing as our heroes fail, are tempted by both craven panic and the dark side, and learn the kind of lesson that, while necessary, doesn't feel all that good.

To briefly sum up the parts I don't like as much about this movie: the pacing is a bit janky, and while I think the Canto Bight sequence is good thematically, it does feel like it prolongs a part of the plot that could be better served with less space travel. It's also a bit frustrating that a major driver of the Canto Bight/pursuit plot is two pivotal supporting characters not telling the main characters things. Sure, it can be justified, but it feels frustrating to sit through on the second watch-through. Also I can't quite decide if the movie tries to set up Finn with Rose, or if we're supposed to be as baffled about that development as Finn apparently is?

Ok, now with those annoyances out of the way, WOW does this movie do some great stuff. The Rey/Luke subplot alone has so much dynamite about mentoring, learning, and growing past mistakes. Luke has spent the last... what, 10, 20 years trying to be forgotten because he doesn't consider himself worthy of being a legendary hero, having failed Ben Solo/Kylo Ren so thoroughly. Through Rey's earnest, and insistent, enthusiasm for his legend he comes to realize that whether he wants to acknowledge it or not, the consequences of his actions are out there, and if he really wants to make amends, he has to confront these consequences. It's one hell of a storyline and development to play out, and Mark Hamil does some career-best work in putting it out there.

There isn't really a good place to put this bit into the structure I wrote, but as I went through to edit this thing I remembered that I forgot to talk about the Holdo Manuever. This bit is apparently a bit controversial among the Military Logistics Of The Galaxy Far Far Away-crowd, but I fucking love it. For one, it's a twist I didn't see coming that also works just about perfectly even on re-watches, and secondly, just look at the thing. This action setpiece was nothing short of awe-inspiring. Letting physics, at least as much of physics as one can count on when dealing with FTL, do the heavy lifting in a pivotal moment feels like an inspiring choice, and again, look at it!

This movie's also I think the most sensible of the Star Wars movies when it comes to the internal politics of the villain faction, in that the interplay between familiar autocratic forms of leadership, fascism to be precise, and the obscure space magic mysticism of the Force makes for some tasty plot threads. For one, Snoke is so secure that he, alone, will be the first dark side user to not be utterly fucked over by his sole apprentice on account of his mind reading ability that he seemingly ignores the possibility of Kylo Ren learning about the concept of meta-cognition, and gets chopped all the way in half for his hubris. One of the easiest way to get couped, after all, is to believe it could never happen to you for X Y or Z reason.

And then there's Hux. Ah, the fashy wet beast of a man that is Admiral Hugs. His is a thankless job, screaming about nonspecific degeneracy and nonspecific order and getting just absolutely bodied by the dark force users of the First Order on any and all occasions. Granted, the man is the military leader of a wannabe empire whose main business is military, but that doesn't matter much. Poe dunks on him, Kylo and Snoke treat him like a puppet at best, and even when the death of Snoke might suggest a promotion, oop, no, guess what, Kylo Ren's still there and while he doesn't proclaim himself Master or anything, he certainly makes a compelling argument for him succeeding the throne of Supreme Leader. Sucks to suck, Hugs, shouldn't have subscribed to an ideology based on strength alone.

Rey's attempt at navigating the force and her identity is also fascinating to watch. The mystery of who she is exactly is an interesting driving force to the whole character arc. While I concede the point that this is in part because Lineage and Pedigree is like catnip to Star Wars fans to a worrying degree, it's also just compelling. Part of finding out who you are is, after all, a part of finding out where you came from, and in the ways you are different and similar to that origin is as good of a guide as any. With that said, it was an immense relief to me that Rey wasn't related to anyone important in the Star Wars Lore, if only because it opens up her plot so much. If she falls to the Dark Side it's because she falls to the dark side, not because she's a sapling from a line of part Force-homonculi like the Skywalkers, or like a quarter Darth Andeddu on her Mother's Side or whatever. Granted, Rey From Nowhere in particular was retconned in the following movie, and I'll GET to that. In the context of this movie at time of release though, it felt like a breath of fresh air.

It felt like an attempt to start something new. Maybe not every important character in the world is related to every other important character. Maybe the galaxy far far away is more vivid and exciting than it ever could be playing out some kind of extended Arthurian family saga. Maybe the first order is a threat not so much because they want to kill our Skywalkers, but because they're a massive conquering beast flattening culture and exploiting those they consider lesser, which is to say everyone. Maybe the stable boy is force sensitive. Maybe that'll matter, maybe that'll just be a little coda demonstrating that The Force isn't strictly a Palpatine/Skywalker family secret.

Speaking of though, let's talk about Kylo Ren some. I love Kylo Ren as a villain. He clearly styled himself on his grandpappy Anakin Skywalker, and the fact that the result is such a store brand thematic mockery is just perfect. Darth Vader didn't dress up like that because it was cool (at least in the Watsonian sense, in the Doylist sense he very much did), he's covered in all of that armor because it's his life support system. His unnerving hissing breath is his respirator chugging along. He is incredibly powerful in the force, yes, but his body is a mess, and it's a tribute to his strength in the Force that it's not a thing you notice as he takes you apart. Vader's armor is more than his armor, it's his prison, keeping him alive, bound to the Empire and the Dark Side in more ways than one. Kylo's armor looks that way because it's meant to evoke Darth Vader. Kylo doesn't need it, he just thinks it lets him be more like his grandfather. He's cosplaying, in practice, and no level of sulky angy boy antics can come close to projecting the sheer weight of Anakin's fallen splendor, which of course, only makes Kylo angrier. This is a compelling mirror to Rey in this movie IMO. Rey does not have Kylo's legacy, which makes her free in a way Kylo could never be, although Rey would probably switch in a heartbeat if she had the chance.

It's this kind of entangled conflict that makes the Rey-Kylo interplay so fascinating. Rey believes in the good in Kylo because That's What The Hero Does, but Kylo is so tied up in being Taster's Choice Darth Vader that she just doesn't get through the aura of angsty rage that surrounds him. They're not quite enemies, but far from friends, thus my choice of word "entangled." It's a pretty fun dynamic to see, and it leads to what I think is one of the better fight scenes of the sequel trilogy where Rey and Kylo are, however briefly, allies of convenience and fight through Snoke's Throne Guard. It's a rad fight because we haven't gotten too many "light sabers vs multiple semi-worthy opponents" in the main series, and because it's just so cool to see non-allies on the same side.

I suppose I have postponed talking about this movie's legacy as long as I can. It's not a task I cherish for two reasons, one, I find the current fandom focus on legacy utterly exhausting, and two, I feel this movie in particular was done dirty by its sequel, to the degree where I didn't even want to touch Star Wars for quite some time after it released.

In short, I would argue that just about every cool bit of The Last Jedi was clumsily retconned or just written out in Rise Of Skywalker. Rey from Nowhere? Gone, turns out she's Sheev "I've been dead for three movies except Sike" Palpatine's granddaughter and Kylo "I never lied to you" Ren was full of shit when he confirmed that her parents were nothing special. The power struggle between Hux and Kylo? Absolutely demolished. Sheev's back and he's brought his own Disappointing Generic Empire Guy to lead, so it's arguably not even the First Order any more. Rose Tico as a kind of Working Class conscience for the Adventure Crew? She's just kind of around and has exactly as many lines as it takes to not formally be an extra. Fuck me, if that movie managed to somehow convince me that cool Rey and Kylo fight didn't happen it'd be batting a thousand as far as ruining good shit from TLJ. Oh, and of course Finn and Poe get Plausible Deniability Girlfriends, because fuck you if you're finnpoe, right?

Anyway, this is not a review of Rise Of Skywalker, but it kind of impossible to speak of all the cool shit TLJ tried to do without acknowledging that these were very much The Road Not Taken. It's also important context to my current relationship with Star Wars. Put simply, I've lost faith. Why even bother participating in any further Star Wars media? I've clearly seen the Only Good Story Possible in Star Wars when I watched the original trilogy, considering how its the only story you're allowed to tell Post-Lucas, and any deviation from the same will lead to one of the biggest media companies in the world to ruin an entire feature-length film to meticulously undo anything that strays from the Star Wars Formula? How would any decent storyteller hitch themselves to a mess like this? How does it not become the miserable slog of content produced by work-a-day directors sleepwalking through Franchise Management-approved scripts, where nothing ever changes or grows, because the Star Wars Fans expect another of their semiregular reifications of three pretty good adventure/sci-fi films from the 70's, and heaven help you if you falter in your breathless reverence for The Legacy.

So while this isn't a review of Rise Of Skywalker, you can plainly see I didn't like it much. Do give The Last Jedi a look though, there's some neat scenes in it, and porgs.

#film friday #star wars #star wars the last jedi #I do love porgs #how the fuck do they fly?#what kind of biological evolution produced these sad cat lemming puffins?#I don't know #they have big eyes to see all your sins #iconic of them imo

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windypuddle · 2 years

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BSD season 4 intro analysis

ok. i havent actually watched any of season 4. this is mostly because im not caught up with the anime and dont care to catch up because i dont want to see how theyre going to butcher it. but i saw @dazaistabletop ‘s posts with all the character frames from the intro and i realized hey theres symbolism going on. my favorite. so here we are

PART ONE: the Armed Detective Agency and the Guild

(this is going to be really long because i have to put in the images individually. thank you desktop)

hey, you’re probably thinking. theres some people in here that shouldnt be here.

1. Aya. i think this is mainly symbolising that she’s on the agency’s side, the side of “good”, but it could also mean shes going to join the agency.

2. Poe. poe is in the Guild, right? sike. not anymore! although i believe the yellow lines of text in his picture could allude to him being in the Guild previously.

now some other weird things.

3. I’m not sure if its just visual effects, or the color changing as it goes along (as i said i havent watched s4), but Dazai especially seems a lot more faded out. this could be something related to how he doesnt feel like part of the agency. not sure. (ranpo’s also seems a little faded out, which could point to how he doesn’t play as big of an action role this season?)

4. Kyouka and Yosano both have prominent splashes of purple in their screenshots. I think this is reflecting how the Mafia/Mori have had such effects on them, which is important considering we’re getting Yosano’s backstory this season. This would beg the question why Dazai doesn’t have any purple, but this could have to do with how completely and easily he changed allegiances due to his lack of actual attachment to the Mafia or morality.

5. Tanizaki. Oh boy. Tanizaki has some purple in his, and also lines of red text(?). i think this is symbolizing that Tanizaki is going to be the one who takes the deal to join the Mafia.

ok on to the guild.

this threw me off a bit because i forgot about them but fitzgerald and alcott and the eyes of god are in fact important. also mitchell, despite being in a coma, is a catalyst for hawthorne’s whole thing. and we can’t forget the masked assassin himself. cant wait to see this loser in the skyfall arc. and lucy is practically a main character at this point.

i think the orange/pink accents are just there to complement the yellow as a color thing, not for symbolism. although the bit of aqua in fitzgerald’s picture likely symbolizes how he’s thrown his lot in with the agency.

next part: hunting dogs and port mafia! you know why

and third part

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sofiiel · 1 year

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I Remember You | Part Two

Eddie x Fem!Reader Post S4 - Time Skip | Sort fic (probably) about 3 parts.

WARNINGS: angst. Reader suffers from alcohol + drug abuse. S4 is only semi cannon in this fic. There will probably be eventual smut in later parts. Use of Y/n. Longish word counts.

A/N: Based off of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" | The songs : Far From Home : The Sweetest Chill : Taking Over Me : Walking On Both Sides : Cirice : Corrode.

⇐ Previous | TOC | Next ⇒

The work day finally came to a close.

You survived your shift. Though you popped painkillers like candy for the ringing of your head, constantly munching on handfuls of trail mix.

Settled outside your job on the curb, you waited patiently. Vickie said she'd be willing to pick you up. That saved you a long walk home with nothing but your thoughts. The loudest of them.

"But you deserve the long walk home. What were you even thinking, going that far beyond your usual?" You questioned yourself.

"Relax, it was just the day. You're in control now." you murmured.

The horn of Vickie's car honked once and as you looked up were met with the concerned faces of the two women inside.

"Don't look so scared. Steve was being dramatic, I swear." You said. Getting to your feet, you swung your purse over your shoulder, and got inside the car.

"Yeah, dingus can be a little dramatic, but he said you passed out." Robin spoke.

"Mhhm, something people do when drunk. Right?" You question, you could feel the defensiveness bubbling, boiling, you didn't mean to sound that snarky.

Robin raised her hands in surrender, "Jeez, ok." she breathed. "Just a healthy bit of concern." Robin added.

You sighed, "sorry." in a murmur.

Vickie twisted her body to look at you from the diver's seat. "Are you, sure you're ok. I know you don't like to talk about it but-"

Your words rushed out swiftly, and your pulse raced right with them. "I'm fine." It'd been years since you last talked about everything. It felt so trivial in your head some days.

Though that's never what the psychotherapist said. Nor was it what the break in your voice just told them.

Vickie bit her lip and quickly turned around, if you were trying to fight it, she couldn't let you see the mist in her eyes. Robin's gaze lingered on Vickie, who's face was riddled in concern.

"Right, well. Do you want to go home or get something to eat?" Vickie said, trying to brighten the mood.

"I just- home please." you said quietly.

Vickie nodded and without a word put the car in drive and turned up the radio slightly.

Eddie grumbled to himself as he fiddled with the tape repair kit and a radio on the living room floor. His eyes squinting were nearly closed, and his tongue curved to hug the tip of his upper lip.

"Come on, be salvageable." he murmured, carefully pulling the reel out of the cassette case. The case itself was severely cracked, and blood had seeped beyond the plastic, as had the water.

He didn't have his hopes high, but Eddie had also seen far more impossible things happen. So what's necromancing a doomed little tape?

Scatter around him was an opened can of cold mix vegetables, a box of cereal and a bottle of water. A blanket draped from his shoulders. The world around him may have been less damp but even in it's drying dusty state it was freezing.

Eddie wished the electricity in the house would decide it wanted to play, it was in fact on in town today.

He picked up the can and shook some of the veggies into his mouth. Chomping away before washing it down and going back to his fiddling.

Through his head like a movie was a daydream that he'd thought left him a long time ago. It crawled to the surface the moment he heard her voice through the veil.

Again he imagined what it would have been like, meeting her at the quarry. What she might have said. The conversation changed with every daydream, but now what he said remained the same.

Eddie's mind went wild with the details, it was a nice evening that day. The weather was gentle and deceivingly comforting. He didn't get a chance to look at the stars, but he bet they were vivid.

He smiled to himself; It was one of the things she'd remind people to do back then.

"Take a moment and look at the sky, at least once a day, and take in something bigger than everything else around you." she'd say.

Eddie imagined that night, before any words were spoken, they would have done just that; gazed up at the night sky above. That the silence would have been easy and welcomed.

That she would sigh and flash him a nervous smile, ask if he'd listened to the tape, and then the real conversation would start.

Eddie imagined a hundred different things she might have said. Maybe it was a feeling that had settled in for years, as it seemed somehow they always crossed paths. Or perhaps it was a sudden epiphany of a new attraction, having worked with each other for the past two years. Maybe she just woke up that morning and decided, fuck it, I might like him, and I'm going for it.

He'd been shocked that day when he opened that envelope. When his eyes scanned over the note at a quick glance, and reread it even quicker.

Sure, Eddie had a thought or two before. Some days, her smile would leave him staring just a bit longer than he should be. Or she'd touch his arm and he'd tell himself, "Y/n's just friendly."

"She's just nice." said his past thoughts.

But reading that note.

"Hey, there's this guy that's been in my head for a while now. You know him. I kind of need your help though with this one. I can tell you who, just meet me at the quarry tonight. Tell me when is good for you."

Alright, so it wasn't exactly a confession. It could have been anybody. But it wasn't anyone in his band, Y/n could have asked him about them a long time ago.

It couldn't be a customer for that same reason. Why else would she hand such a simple request to him in a sealed envelope with a mixtape.

"Or maybe you really wanted to be someone's...well, someone." Eddie thought with a sigh. Now trying to put the tape into a new case.

He was going to be thirty in about a year, and still his heart fluttered at the thought of what she might have said to him.

In his daydreaming, when she had said her peace, he imagined she'd look up at him with those familiar eyes. She might even be holding her breath, waiting for him to say something. Say anything.

Eddie knew now exactly what he'd do. He'd laugh, he wouldn't be able to help it. It'd be a small chuckle, but it'd be there. She'd cast him a worried glance, and probably assume he thought the hole thing was silly.

But he'd prove her wrong. Eddie made up in his mind that he would hug her and spin her about, or try to. If that failed, he'd keep her in a light embrace. Wrapped in his arms. He'd bump his forehead to hers and say, "Yeah, I know the guy, and I think I can honestly say. He's probably learning that he's into you too. He'd never see this coming. But, he might need to hear it again, though."

She'd look at him and repeat her most precious line, and then Eddie would steal a kiss, and with any luck it would knock her off her feet.

Eddie, lost in his thoughts, had stopped working on the cassette. He stared off into nothing, a slight smile on his face. But that smile slowly began to fade at the reminder in the back of his head.

"You're not getting out of here." it said in the smallest of voices.

Eddie looked down at the tape and cassette shell. It wasn't a new thought, and yet this time that thought made him want to cry.

It was the new-found ability to be able to hear people again from the other side. The return of lost interactions. Familiar faces and voices more than a waning memory, audibly tangible.

Above his head, Eddie heard a loud bang and crash. He jumped slightly startled, casting his eyes to the ceiling above him. The dirty mirror was slowly coming back, and he could make out her shape through it.

You looked down at the wine bottle that lay cracked open on the coffee table. Watching the red liquid pool and, in a small stream, trickle onto the carpet.

Your mind went blank as you gathered the pieces. You'd dropped it. It was on purpose, but your mind wasn't clear on why. Because just as much as it meant to drop the bottle, it meant to consume all of it.

"I don't want to give into this thing, to this place." You murmured. "I'm not ready, but I don't want to give up." you whispered.

Down below, Eddie watched you with a tentative gaze, "Neither do I." he breathed.

Dumping the split bottle and large shards into the trash, you tried your best to collect yourself. Eyes shut tightly, "see I am in control, I've got this." you told yourself.

Going to the sink you turn on the cold water and let it wash the red wine stains from your hands. Focused on the lather of the soap, you fought to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your skin crawled as a piece of your mind whimpered, "Why'd you do that? Why'd you waste that!" in a quiet rage.

You exhaled and suck in your lips. "Don't be so pathetic." you whispered. "This is all so stupid."

With the bend of your wrist, you rubbed at your itching eyes. It was bad enough that you let this morning happen. You were determined not to be reduced to a crying mess on the floor.

"Maybe that's what you need." something foreign echoed in your head. A voice you were not familiar with. It flittered around you like a strange kindness. Its words were soft.

"Trust me" it whispered. "I know."

Covering your mouth, you let your teeth sink into your bottom lip. "You're losing it." you thought. "For little reason other than..." your thoughts faded.

If you stopped thinking about it, talking about it, it would all go away. At least that's what your family said. But then again, they didn't think you needed any outside help.

There were plenty of reasons why you avoided them, your family.

"We're family now" is what Vickie would tell you. "You're big sis," that statement always came with a giggle.

The light blinked from your phone, someone had left a message. All you really wanted was sleep, though it wasn't often you got calls.

"Better check it." you sighed.

"Hello, Y/n. It's Beth from work! I was wondering if you had time, would you be interested in having lunch with Barry and I next Saturday? His brother's moving back in town and he's a single pringle! It'd also be nice to have a fourth, you know, for the conversation. I'm sure you'll have a lot in common having just returned! He's a music teacher, isn't that fun? Just let me know, give me a call."

You cringed.

Below, Eddie shook his head, "that's not lunch, that's a set-up. And a poorly executed one." he murmured.

You gazed at the phone with a flat expression. "I hate fix ups." you muttered. Everyone thought they knew what you wanted or what you needed. It's how you spent half your time in college.

"I promise he's a greaaat guy!" they'd say.

And yet so far it's never worked out, not once. Couple of months at most and then on to the next one.

"Why do you even go?" Vickie would often ask after listening to your rants over the phone. The answer was simple, who doesn't want to find their person?

Alright, probably lots of people, but you weren't one of them.

Vickie words sprung into your mind again, "Maybe things never work out because... you already met them." her advice always stuck in your craw worse than anything.

"She is terrible at dating and wisdom for her self. And yet, in an instant, becomes Confucius or Plato or something for anyone else." you thought with a shake of your head.

"Goofy little genius." You sighed.

"But maybe you're right. No one else fits." you said to yourself, "If that's the case, what was I going to do if rejected." the words came out in a bitter chuckle.

Trying your best to shrug off the thought. Thinking about it too long led to the every persistent self dig of 'what if I'd tried sooner?'

The age-old curse of not wanting to risk what you've happily settled for just because of a chance at more.

"It's like only applying to shit schools because fear of that rejection letter. Then dreaming about Harvard for the rest of your life." you grumbled to yourself.

"Wanting the lead role, but only auditioning for the one-liner." you said.

"Who'd she let slip?" Eddie murmured. From his entrapment, he followed your path through the house.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, set your purse on the vanity and kicked off your shoes. "Maybe I should go." You said.

"Pretty sure talking to yourself this much is a bad sign." you chuckled. "You need someone around. Even if just to talk."

Eddie shook his head, "nope, it's a sigh of genius. Think I read that somewhere, maybe?" Eddie squinted, "no point in trying to remember, you know how this goes." he said.

Eddie fell silent, watching you look at the secondary phone on your night stand. "She's contemplating it?" he thought, biting his lip with unease.

"Shouldn't bother you, man, you're stuck here." He thought.

Meanwhile, you'd plucked up the phone and gave Beth a call.

"Shit." Eddie whispered, "wait? Barry? I knew that name." he uttered. Trying to remember made his head hurt. Eddie closed his eyes, "give it up." He told himself, his finger touching a trickle of scarlet at his nostril.

"Damn it." Eddie said, heading for the tissue box, near the bed.

March 26, 1994

Eddie wrote down a series of cords in the worn notebook that'd become his newest diary. A hand wrapped around his gut, that last tin of sardines was long gone. Time may have stood still for everything else in the upside down, "but that stuff was probably past it's date years before it go stuck here." Eddie thought.

He rubbed his stomach lightly, food supplies taken from houses were less reliable than what he gathered from stores, schools, and the hospital.

The veil was closed, sealed up tight, and he could only listen to the commotion above. Drawers opening a closing Y/n muttering to herself. It was the fifth outfit she'd tried on.

"It's nearly impossible to be possible date ready and business casual all at once." he'd heard her say.

Eddie groaned, sliding his notebook forward as he moved to lay on his stomach. She didn't like a blue blouse, the khaki pants, or the green earrings. Which left Eddie to wonder.

"Whats your favorite color?"

He wrote in his book.

Eddie gnawed on his pencil and looked down at the page.

"Favorite anything. Food, candy, time of year? Night or day?"

Eddie could recall a few things, like her favorite band and favorite celebrity. He never knew why those stuck with him.

"Probably because back then you'd love to have been both., and it just didn't click." his small thoughts chimed.

A soft, struggling smile crossed his face as his hand flicked and swirled the pencil across the lines.

"What's your favorite song?"

He knew it once, Eddie was sure of it. It must have been a fleeting moment. "I love that song!" she said.

He could only remember that much and the fact that it was playing on the radio at the time.

"I was working on the car, under it." Eddie gazed down at his writing. "And the song came on, and she nearly tripped over my legs trying to get inside and turn up the volume." Eddie said.

He whispered, "but what was the song..." and closed up his book. He still had sweetheart and his acoustic. They'd managed to survive as long as he had. Maybe if he played for a while, it'd come back to him.

Your eyes shifted towards the clock for the twentieth time. Dreading and yet hopeful about lunch. "If he's decent, and you hit it off, this could be the very thing you need." you thought.

The minute hand ticked and it was officially lunch. Grabbing your purse, you headed for your car.

"Don't think too much about it and just be casual..." You sat giving yourself a pep talk, examining your face in the mirror of the car. You'd parked outside the newly renovated Benny's.

Looking out the window, you could spot Beth and Barry meeting a man by the door.

Your eyes squinted, You could only see his back, but, "He looks strangely familiar." You murmur. Examining what you could about it, he wasn't tall or short, with a heavy build. Slicked bark hair sporting a few curls and clad in a leather jacket, which held more patches than you'd ever seen in your life.

You check over your reflection one last time, take a deep breath and step out of your car.

"Oh! There she is!" Beth called out.

You raise a hand to send a stiff wave. Before the motion could complete, the man turned around, and your jaw clenched tight. "I..." Your thoughts were broken, mentally screaming.

"Holy shit, Y/n?" said Paul, a grin slowly came to his face, "Remember me?" He asked with a grin.

Pins and needles stung at your fingertips, "I...you're Corroded's bassist, um.." You exhale, "were, I mean."

Paul's smile faltered a little as well, "yeah, that me." he said.

Beth excitedly shook Barry's shoulder. "Look, look," she whispered.

Paul glanced back at His brother and Sister in law. "Um, would you mind if I took Y/n out for ice cream instead?" He asked.

Beth cut in faster than Barry could answer. "Are you kidding? You two go have fun! Sound like you have lots of catching up to do!" she sang.

There was little more Beth loved, than playing matchmaker.

Paul smiled at his family and beckoned you to follow him. The walk up the street was quiet. He stopped before a motorcycle and got on.

"Here," said Paul, passing you the spare Helmet. Fastening it on your head, you climbed on behind him.

"Ice cream?" You questioned, holding onto his shoulders.

"I needed to tell them something." He said.

"Besides, you looked at me like the whole world was crashing." Paul sighed.

The silence that fell was suffocating, even the rumble of the bike couldn't cut through. You cleared your throat, "so, you're a music teacher now?" You asked.

"Ahhhh," Paul lulled, nodding his head, "yeah. Took a music major, found out that they're hiring at Hawkin's Middle School." He said. "so...I'm back." the words came in a quiet murmur.

Your mouth shut tight, "I came back for my friend's wedding. Stayed because of a job offer as well. You know...money's nice after job hopping all over." You said in a tone to match his.

Bent over the toilet in a room of the husk that would have been the Hospital, Eddie wiped his mouth. His stomach knotted and arms trembling. "Fuck." he whispered.

With dulled eyes, he looked at the scarlet and black sludge in the bowl. "That's not food poisoning or bad sardines." he muttered.

His stomach twisted, causing Eddie to hiss. He used the wall for support, carefully sliding down it. With his head in his hands, he shook his head.

"You fought it off before, you can keep it up." he told himself. But his fingertips felt frost bitten, and his head began to hurt. It wanted to steal more of him away.

Eddie looked down at his hands, they shivered violently. Pale skin turning a volcanic gray, nails black and pointed. He could feel his spine crack, threatening to hunch.

He needed to be fast, Eddie quickly discarded his vest and shirt. The Pants and shoes could be ruined, he could find those again. But if the tops were distorted, he feared he'd lose the memories tied to them.

The skin beneath Eddie's armpit webbed and following the length of his arm fused slowly. He sank down to the floor, curled and writhing as he could feel his body unwillingly change.

Eventually the screaming stopped, and consciousness left him. It was in control now.

In the back of the ice cream parlor, you poked at the banana split. Paul watched you quietly digging away at his triple stack. It seemed both of you planned on eating away your feelings.

"Since there's nothing to drink." you thought.

"You know Eddie told us," Paul finally said.

Your eyes refused to look at him, finally taking a spoonful of your ice cream. "Told you what?" you asked.

Paul glanced off, "you know..." he hesitated, "about the note and...thte tape."

You nearly choked, "o-oh..." you stammered.

Paul's brow pushed together, "Nobody was able to reach you, you know after the evacuation." he said. "Jeff and Gareht tried. Vickie said you wouldn't answer calls."

You sat still, watching the split melt.

"You weren't there for the-"

"Vickie said it was empty, so it was pointless. Right?" You spoke quickly, shutting his statement down before it could reach your ears.

"This town, its investigative work, isn't worth piss without Jim Hopper. And with the government in a frenzy over that weird fall out..." You rambled.

Paul simply watched you. "Yeah, we didn't buy it at first either." he sighed.

"At first?" you asked, narrowing your eyes.

He answered you, speaking carefully words heavy, "It's been eight years, Y/n. What other answer could it be?"

"Missing persons can be missing for decades," you said, shaking your head, "some are never found until they die, but until that time they are still out there."

Paul drew in a breath. "That's..."

Your eyes narrowed more.

"That can't be better for you to think. A grave, a chance to say your peace. That's closure. It can hel-"

"That's not closer, that's talking to dirt under a stone, crafted to make what happened go away. A.k.a a load of horseshit" You snapped.

Paul lifted his hands in surrender. "Ok" he said.

You eased back, looking down at your hands.

"Ok." he repeated in a sigh.

You swallowed hard, and unzipped your purse. Pulling out a small silver flask. Paul watched you apprehensively as you took a sip.

Looking up, you noticed the look he was giving you. And a lie you'd gotten far too comfortable telling, tumbled out of your mouth.

"It's...liquid Tylenol. I...haven't been well lately." You murmured.

Paul exhaled, "Oh, I'm sorry," he said. Both wanting to ask more, and yet he didn't want to push into anything that might have been personal. Tylenol wasn't anything strong, and he didn't want to her about period details. Must have been cramps.

"Well...not to harp on, you know..." Paul muttered.

"How have you been? What have you been up too?" He asked.

"After college? Just trying to keep a steady job. You try and pick the thing that's interesting and good enough money. But get out and find the jobs are too few or too many people qualify for them." You said.

"Other than that, I'm just here. Helping Vickie navigate her disgruntled family, for far." You side glanced, "I don't have much of a life outside of work these days."

"Well, that's no good." Paul said with a faint smile. "Gotta live a little sometime."

"So, what about you?" You asked, wanting to change the subject. If this kept up, it might lead to an offer to go to a bar sometime. And you'd worked far too hard to avoid becoming a regular there.

"Yep, doing great, you only frequent the liquor store six times a week." you thought, soured.

"Usually work, during school breaks I offer private lessons for bass guitar and standard. I have the kids on weekends, holidays and half of the school break." Paul explained.

"You have kids?" You asked, you'd never have guessed that.

He laughed. "Four, if you can believe it. Triplets, all girls and my youngest son."

You manged a smile, "that's great."

From there on, the conversation seemed to move about at an easier pace. For now, you were just glad this hadn't turned into a complete nightmare. Even if it was only another reminder.

⇐ Previous | TOC | Next ⇒

#eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson lives

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moonxsuncelestials · 6 months

Text

Twisted Wondeland Au Drabble

Making sure no one else is around, Ivory looked over then at Eclipse who gave a nod. Stephen and Li were studying in the library for a test, Poe deciding that he would help given his vast knowledge of their subjects, which gave the twins some time to just be together. Don't get them wrong, both love their brothers dearly but the twins wanted to spend time together.

They hadn't been able to since they came to Night Raven College.

"Let's go on and set up, Ives. Leona shouldn't be in this part of the area and I highly doubt that Rook is going to neglect time with Vil."

Nodding, Ivory set to tuning their violin whilst Eclipse tuned his mandolin. Once set, the duo smiled at each other glad that they took their mother's advice in learning music from their aunt and cousin. Another language, a way for Ivory to get their emotions across ever since their vocal cords were paralyzed from their signature spell back in their teens. "Ready?" He asked.

Nodding, Ivory soon brought up their violin and started to play. Eclipse joined in not too long and before long, Ivory was dancing to their melody. They were so caught up in their song that both siblings didn't realize that they had an audience, in the form of none other than Lilia, Ortho, Epel, Riddle, Deuce, and Ace. Even Leona came to see who was making the racket.

Lilia couldn't help but think to himself of how graceful Ivory was, dancing to the melody of sorrow, conveying their emotions-almost fae-like. It was an amazing event to witness when he realized that these two weren't human at all. Neither fae-these two held draconic features now that he thought about it.

But there was also something dangerous, something far deadlier than what he's witnessed in his lifespan. Just what are these two?

Ortho however was excited watching the two dance to the music they were creating. In fact, he was recording to show Idia later-just to show him what he's missing out on! The twins are just amazing, he even commented on quietly next to Riddle who was observing how quick the two seemed to catch onto the other's emotions. It shouldn't really surprise him, Jade and Floyd were similar and yet, not. No, Ivory and Eclipse were on a whole other level of how intinmate this seemed to be; at least in his eyes. With how Ivory twirled, Eclipse doing tighter turns and the nimbleness of his fingers-just how long did these two practice to become this good?

Leona however had grown tired of the two making so much noise but seeing how Eclipse had caught sight of the group, even he could tell that the other was not going to let him ruin it. And rather than put up a fight, he conceded. Eclipse had proven himself time and time again in the fights over in the dorm that he is not someone the rest of Savanaclaw should underestimate. And Leona held a suspicion that Eclipse was holding back in those fights, something Ruggie had confirmed while trying to figure out just what Eclipse is.

#twisted wonderland au #drabble #ivory ic #eclipse ic

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writefightandflightclub · 2 years

Note

Thank you so much!! I absolutely adored your finnpoe x reader fic series- oh my god!

The small headcanon: firstly, I love the readers personality!!! But I was wondering if poe/finn would have fallen for a reader who's shy, reserved, introverted and sensitive? Someone's who's kinda a pushover for others and is very sweet to everyone, even when it's undeserved. Don't get me wrong, I love the readers personality sm, but I'm not a badass like they are 🙈 even though I wish I was.

I hope this is ok, tysm for sharing your writing with us!!!

Okay! First of all, thank you! 😀 I’m super glad you enjoyed that series 🙏🧡

Second of all, I just want to say that you can be shy, reserved, introverted, and sensitive and ALSO be a badass! There are loadsa different ways to be awesome and badass, and sometimes it looks the way reader was here, sure… but sometimes it looks different! (I just needed you to know that! 🥹)

Third: would Poe / Finn have fallen for a shy!Reader? WOULD THEY?

Yes!!

Finn and Poe would be smitten!

(I do have some Poe x reader fics with shy!reader e.g. mixed signals if you wanna check that one out!)

Here are some very quick thoughts below, specifically on Oe falling for a shy!reader. (Sorry I don’t have time for more depth here! If I had more time I’d include hcs before and after relationship, and I’d also include Finn to match the fic, but the first thing that came into my head was this little story with Poe. Hope that’s alright! 🧡).

Below the cut. Fluff only, probably typos.

You make me shy: Poe Dameron x shy!GN!reader (ficlet/hcs)

Poe is a talker, okay? He’s not sure he even knows what it feels like to be shy. It doesn’t really happen to him? But, he’s an understanding guy, and he’s been around a lot of different folk in his time, particularly in his years as part of the cobbled together Resistance. He understands that everyone is different, has different needs and preferences, and interacts differently. He knows that everyone has strengths and talents and that they don’t always look one way. He goes on like he’s some hotshot, at times, but at the end of the day he generally understands that he’s part of a team, and he’s well aware of all the people working quietly behind that scenes that the whole operation depends on. And, as much as he likes to sing his own praises, he also hates for other people’s contributions to go unnoticed or under-appreciated.

Okay, and then, there’s you.

Poe notices you right away when you arrive on base. In fact, he does a double-take as he watches you in the queue of new recruits, waiting at the hatch to the supply wing for your first uniform bundle. He kicks back on a nearby crate with his morning caf, casually people-watching and monitoring activities across base, but also scoping out the new Rebels. Seeing what he and the Resistance might have to work with. Looking for early indications of personalities and dynamics which might be assets - or liabilities.

At first, his head whips back to you because he thinks you’re damn good-looking, but he continues to be captivated for other reasons. He notes that the other recruits have started chatting in-line, bunching up and forming small bundles and groups, whilst you are standing more solitary, looking down at the duracrete and gently scuffing your boot back and forth over the surface.

Next, Poe notices that one of the bigger, muscular recruits clearly fancies himself a leader (in all the wrong ways), rocking up to the queue and beginning to bark orders - somehow even convincing you to relinquish your spot so he can go ahead of you. Poe lets it play out for now, but he makes a mental note to keep an eye on that one.

Poe isn’t particularly interested in this guys bluster - he’s seen it all before, but he is interested when he sees you raise your arm in the air, announcing “wait”, as this big guy presses forward, halting him in his tracks. Poe unconsciously shifts towards the edge of his crate. Then, he watches you stoop to the floor and pick up something that no-one else in-line seems to have noticed, cupping it delicately in your hands and transferring it to a nearby flower. Poe watches you smile softly as you settle the little creature - which was likely about to get trampled - safely on to the plant, and he can’t help but smile along with you.

Now, that’s the kind of quality a Resistance member needs, he thinks. Heart.

He makes a mental note to keep an eye on you too. And, as he watches you shuffle to the back of the line after relinquishing your space for the little creature, Poe downs the dregs of his caf and decides to circle by the line. “You,” he says as he passes by, as casually as possible. He repeats your name when he reads it on your tag. Your head whips towards him, wide-eyed, but he gives you the warmest of smiles. “To the front.” He winks and nods at his buddy dishing out supplies from the hatch to confirm that’s okay, and all of the other recruits in the line turn to you then.

You shrink with all their eyes on you, but Poe’s smile is reassuring and steady and makes you feel better, even if you can barely look him in the eye.

Poe feels a pleasant heat crawl up his neck as you shyly meet his gaze. Kriff, you’re cute. He gestures again towards the front of the line. “Look sharp, Recruit. Your bundle’s waiting.”

Finally, you snap out of it and nod, flashing him a kind smile, and Poe is taken aback by how much he melts when you look at him all flustered like that. You head to the front of the line, and stars, you haven’t said a word to him yet, but as Poe presses on towards the hangar, all day he can’t stop thinking about how he really wants to talk to you some more.

This same theme continues.

Poe notices you.

As a Commander, it’s part of his job to identify strengths, and oh boy, you have an abundance of them. You pick up on things others do not. Come up with fresh angles on plans once you’ve had a chance to step back and reflect. You’re not prone to being blinkered by ego or a desire for approval or attention, and as such, your carefully devised plays usually prove to be solid.

You care. You’re good and kind, and that’s something Poe values highly.

Poe always makes sure to give you credit for your great ideas too, even when you don’t wish to take it (or on those occasions where someone else tries to steal credit for the ideas you whisper in their ear through briefings) and you quickly find your spot on base where you’re able to excel. You may not be out in the field throwing punches, but Poe watches your determination, optimism, and cool head as a tactician. Poe finds it hard to keep a cool head, and he admires that trait in you.

So, while you personally feel you’re blending into the background… unbeknownst to you, you’re often at the forefront of Poe’s mind.

All the while, Poe remains keen to get to know you better.

He’s a talker, after all, so he knows how to put people at ease during a conversation. You find it easy to build a rapport with him as he’s so open and warm and genuine - wickedly funny too - and he admires the sincere and thoughtful way you communicate. Once you see that he doesn’t mind if you get embarrassed or stumble over your words, you find it easier to be around him too.

Poe starts to learn more about you, and is always bigging you up at any opportunity he gets. You don’t think anything of it though, because -after all- Poe is nice to everyone who’s nice. However, you somehow ease into a friendship, with Poe seeking your sound judgement out often to feel out his more, ahem, impulsive plans. Coming to you for some deeper, more intimate conversations when he tires of the bustle of base. He trusts you with his deeper fears and worries, in confidence, and you begin to see a side of the pilot he has scarcely dared to show to anyone else.

Poe stands up for you, and always encourages you to stand up for yourself too. “I’m just sayin’. You need to know your worth. You’re kind to everyone, and not everyone deserves it.” Poe had melted when you had softly replied to him. “Poe. Some of the Rebels have X-Wings or blasters or their fists. This? This is how I fight.” Poe’s eyes mist over, and he swallows the lump in his throat. A watery smile spreads over his face, and he wraps his hand around the back of your neck, leaning in to plant a soft kiss to the middle of your forehead.

You do take what he says on board, eventually, and get better over time at setting boundaries, realising it’s okay to have standards on how people can treat you. You get better at putting yourself first sometimes, and appreciating that you deserve that kindness for yourself too. But you never stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, and Poe makes clear that he loves you for it, and for so many other things besides.

You just don’t realise how much he loves you for it.

Not until one night, when the two of you are alone together, watching the latest holo movie in your quarters.

You watch the main character fighting their way through a slew of cave beasts, and you breathe softly: “I wish I could be a badass like them.” Like you, Poe, you secretly add in your head.

You sigh, and the movie is about a quarter way through by the time you realise Poe isn’t even watching it.

He’s just looking at you.

You turn to him, his gaze soft but heavy when you look into his eyes. You drop your own gaze to his lips, forgetting yourself for a moment with his proximity, and as soon as his mouth is perceived it’s as though it won’t stop confessing. As if it had been too long for him to hold it in and he can’t hold it in anymore.

“I really want to kiss you,” he breathes, voice soft and cautious and heavy with feeling. He searches your eyes for fear that he has mis-stepped, and your eyes shine softly with disbelief, but he carries on. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you in line.”

You blink and shake your head. “What?!” This can’t be right, surely?

A soft smile lilts across his face. “You pushed Bluto right out of the way. To save this little bug. You stood up to the biggest asshole on base, because that little thing needed you.”

Your eyes brim with tears, a swell of emotion you can’t name yet.

“Nobody cares about those kriffing things,” Poe continues. “They’re everywhere. A kriffing menace. They get in the engines and munch the wires. Everyone else swats them away or stomps ‘em.” His eyes shine softly now with the light of a thousand stars. “But you did. You cared. And you still don’t get it, do you? You care - about being kind. About doing the right thing. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s scary. Even when no-one notices. And if that’s not badass? Stars, I don’t know what is.”

By this time, tears are spilling over on to your cheeks and Poe gently slips his hands around the back of your neck in this familiar gesture, the heat of his palm warming you.

Even now, you expect him to lean in and bestow his usual forehead kiss upon you… but this time, his face tilts to position with his lips hovering only moments from yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

You feel his words against your cheek.

Breath hitching, you fist your hands into his shirt, but even so, you can’t bring yourself to give in to him just yet, and your breath merely trembles in the space between you. “You… like me? Wh- Why did you never say anything, Poe?”

“Honestly?” he says bashfully, moving his hand to cup your cheek. “You made me kinda shy.”

Poe Dameron? Shy?

And, with that confession, when you finally drag him into you for a kiss, somehow you are crying and laughing at the same time.

When Poe’s lips meet yours, they are soft. So very soft, just like you had imagined they would be.

Stars.

You’d wanted to kiss him since your first day on base.

All this time, you’d just been a little shy.

#Poe Dameron x reader #shy!reader

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neonacity · 3 years

Text

LUCID | NCT DREAM ‘00 LINE X READER | CH.4

LUCID DREAMS - A TYPE OF DREAM WHEREIN THE PERSON IS AWARE THAT THEY ARE CAUGHT IN A DREAM WORLD.

Summary: It was supposed to be a harmless, professional transaction. You were to tutor a group of boys, get your pay at the end of the day, and go home to your loving fiance. Kids aren’t supposed to be dangerous, right? So why, then, are you caught up in a web of madness that slowly makes you feel like you’re in a living nightmare?

NOTE:This is a yandere plot featuring NCT Dream ‘00 line which means there will be mature themes in the story as well as obsessive, toxic behavior. If you’re a minor, please refrain from interacting. If this isn’t your thing, then just scroll and skip. In no way am I condoning anything written here— this is not love, this is obsession—nor do I think that any of the people mentioned here will act any way like in this story. This is purely a work of fiction.

Genre: yandere, horror, suspense

TW: abuse, obsessive behavior, toxic relationships, suggestive scenes, stalking, possible kidnapping, mental health. Age gap–though nothing dramatic. Everyone is of legal age. Creepy, creepy, creepy! This will be updated as the story goes along.

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

“Deep into that darkness, peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared dream before”

— Edgar Allan Poe

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes. I checked the results of her scans and there seems to be no broken bones. But she did hit her head hard so I would suggest she take a rest for a couple of days."

The voices dipped in and out of your swimming consciousness like broken records. There were words that you caught and tried to grasp, but you couldn't quite make out what they mean while you struggled to emerge from your half asleep state. A searing pain ran down the left side of your head and you winced, before a particularly harsh throbbing there finally sent your eyes flying open.

The first thing you saw were the red velvet drapes hanging from the middle of what looked like the ceiling of a four poster. You frowned at it, not quite understanding what exactly it is you were looking at, when another painful throb on your temple had your hand flying towards it.

You were too focused on trying to grit back the pain that you missed the hurried rustling from beside your bed. When your vision finally focused again, you saw five heads peer at you wearing identical worried expressions.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Taeyong asked softly, concern written all over his face. He raised his hand slowly to reach out to you, but then something snapped deep down in your consciousness that sent you bolting up into a sitting position, your feet scrambling against the mattress until your back hit the headboard. Your eyes jumped from one face to the next, heart thudding harshly against your chest.

Taeyong's expression shifted from that of shock into pain at your reaction. He didn't make any other move, his gaze briefly moving instead to the person standing beside the head of your bed.

"Taeil-hyung…"

You felt a gentle hand rest on your shoulders then. For the first time, you noticed the man in a white jacket leaning towards you. He looked unfamiliar, but there was something about him that calmed you down. He peered closer into you now, brown eyes quickly scanning your features.

"Shh… everything's okay. How are you feeling?"

His soft voice slowed your heartbeat down a little. You tried to give him an answer, wincing at the scratchiness of your throat.

"Who are you?"

"I'm a doctor. Do you know where you are right now?"

Your gaze moved from him, then back to the others who are still standing on the fringes of your bed. Now that you are much calmer, you could finally properly recognize the rest of the group in the room. Taeyong sat closest to you while Haechan and Renjun hovered by the foot of the bed wearing identical frowns. Jaemin stood by the other side, his hand wrapped around Jisung's shoulders loosely. The youngest boy looked on to you, eyes rimmed with red.

You slowly nodded after swallowing the dryness in your mouth.

"The… manor…"

You visibly saw the rest of the group give a collective sigh of relief. Taeil moved to sit beside you and gently moved your face to him to quickly check your eyes with his pen light.

"She's still a little bit confused from the fall. She does look okay though," he said and you figured he was talking to the others instead of you. You frowned as you felt him take your wrist to check your pulse.

"I… fell?"

His brown eyes glanced at you briefly.

"You did. You don't remember anything?"

Before you could even respond, you heard Taeyong gently speak from your side.

"You fell on a ravine. We heard Jisung crying when we came back and came looking for you guys as fast as we could. You were unconscious when we found you…"

You let his words sink in slowly. Little by little, your memories came slipping back like little puzzle pieces that arranged themselves slowly in the back of your mind.

You remember Chenle's screams, you running into the forest, and then the feeling of falling into nothingness. Your hands balled over the blanket covering you as your head throbbed again.

"I'm so sorry, noona," your attention moved to Jisung who leaned just a little bit closer to you. He looked like he had been crying. "Chenle and I took our playing too far. We didn't think that this would happen…" he trailed off and you saw Jaemin try to soothe him by rubbing his arm.

"Where's Chenle…? Is he alright?" You asked, remembering that the boy was calling for help before your own accident.

"Yes. He's still unconscious from the anesthesia. He broke his leg from his fall but we were able to rush him to the clinic with you," Taeyong answered again.

"Is your head hurting? We had to make a couple of stitches on you, but your scans turned out fine," the doctor, who you figured out is named Taeil, asked again. Your hand raised once more to the side of your head and noticed the bandages there for the first time. One side of your skull alternated from throbbing dully to stinging sharply.

"Um...it hurts a little bit."

Taeil simply nodded and grabbed his pen to write something on the file he was holding. "That's normal. I thought you would have some short-term memory loss so it's good that you're only dealing with pain. I'll prescribe you painkillers for it."

You listened silently to what he was saying, only half understanding the context of his words. You still felt confused… like there was something you are missing.

As if he read your mind, Taeil glanced up at you again.

"Feeling confused is normal since you hit your head. You should also expect some intense headaches for a couple of weeks, maybe even some mild hallucinations. We'll try to control that with the medicine I'll give you but we're not sure how your body will react to them so just prepare yourself for the possibility, okay?"

You numbly nodded as you watched him finish scribbling something on a smaller piece of paper.

"Other than that, you don't need to be admitted to the hospital. But feel free to come back when you don't feel better after two weeks. You do have someone at home to watch over you, right?"

That made you stop, remembering that you would be alone for a couple of days. Taeil patiently waited for your answer, hand still hovering over his files.

"I… uh… I'm alone for three days but my boyfriend will be back after that…'' you finally managed to say. He frowned slightly at your answer.

"You don't have any relatives who can watch over you?"

You shook your head.

"You can stay here with us," you heard someone say and you looked over to Renjun who was still watching you with a worried expression on his face. "At least until you have someone with you at home."

The rest of the group seemed to have been taken by surprise by his suggestion as much as you were. The boy simply looked at his brothers in answer, however, a frown settling between his brows.

"It's the least we could do, right? Technically, it is our fault. And she got in an accident while at work. We can't just leave her on her own."

Taeil looked from the group, then at you. "That's not a bad idea… you do need to be under observation at least for a couple of days."

You honestly didn't know what to answer. Something told you to say no to the offer, but another part of you simply didn't have the energy to argue with the proposition. Before you could even give a reply, Jisung untangled himself from Jaemin to hold your hand. When you looked at him, he seemed on the verge of tears again.

"Please, noona? Can I make it up to you?"

You watched him, torn by the expression on his face. Finally, you gave a sigh.

"Okay… but I do need to tell my boyfriend that I'll stay over. And I don't really have anything with me…"

"You can borrow our mom's wardrobe. I think you are about the same size," Haechan offered. "Then we can just buy your other things."

You didn't know what to feel about that but nodded at the suggestion, at least for now. With the decision finalized, Taeil finally turned to Taeyong and handed him the paper he had been writing on.

"Here’s her prescription then. I have bottles of the painkillers with me but you might need to drive back to town for the sleeping pills," he said as he turned towards the older boy. "She might need it in case she gets trouble sleeping."

Taeyong nodded as his eyes quickly scanned the paper handed over to him. "About Chenle, do I also need to get him something?"

"We can talk about that separately. How about we go check him now? He must be up around this time, too."

The older boy threw you a glance and a parting apologetic smile before following Taeil who had already picked up his bag and started heading towards the door. Beside you, Jisung quickly let go of your hand to follow the doctor.

"Taeyong-hyung, I'll go with you. Noona, I'll be back later."

You watched silently as the group left and closed the door softly behind them. You still felt a little out of it that you didn't really give notice to the three boys left inside your room until you felt your mattress dip a little. A finger to your chin broke you from your reverie, and when you turned to your side, you saw Jaemin peering at you closely.

"Does it still hurt, noona?"

You blinked at his closeness, but you still felt too weak to even panic or move away. So instead, you simply nodded, goosebumps rising on your flesh as he moved to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

"I'm sorry… now your pretty face is all scratched up, too. I don't think they'll leave marks though… so we don't have to worry about that, hmm…?" His eyes roamed your features slowly and deliberately. You swallowed and finally moved away for a bit.

"Do you remember what happened? Did you slip?"

Renjun's question was the distraction you were looking for. Turning to him, you gave yourself some time to process an answer, slowly shifting through the memories that were still painful and hazy for you to fully grasp. Still, you tried to recall what you could manage, your confusion only growing as you shifted through the bits and pieces of what you could remember.

There were a few things that didn't make sense to you and a few that you were also sure to be true, the most glaring one being the impossibility of you slipping down that cliff. No, you didn’t lose your footing.

You were pushed.

"No… I didn't. Something… something hit me," you finally managed to mumble. The three boys looked at each other, mild confusion in their expressions.

"Hit you? Like an animal?" Haechan asked with a concerned tone. You slightly shook your head as you thought over that possibility as well.

The thing is… you were sure there were no other people in the woods because everyone was accounted for when the accident happened. Taeyong and the kids weren't back yet from their trip and you were sure Jisung and Chenle were in another part of the forest since you heard them call out to you. Jeno is the only one left… but the chances of him being in the woods with you were also slim because of his injury. So that only leaves two possibilities—one, being a wild animal as the culprit behind your fall, or two, that someone else who isn't part of Rosewood manor was there with you in the woods.

Personally, you desperately wanted the first one to be true, but a gnawing feeling inside of you told you no. Your head might still feel a little hazy, but there's one thing you can be sure of.

The force that sent you hurtling down the cliff? That was no animal.

They were human hands.

"Might be… an animal," you whispered more to yourself than to address the boys in the room after a while. You didn't know what pushed you to lie through your teeth, but your gut feeling told you it is the right thing to do at the moment.

Haechan, Jaemin, and Renjun exchanged worried glances amongst themselves, obviously not buying what you just said. Fortunately, they didn't seem to push it for now.

"Well...we'll leave you alone tonight so you can rest. Haechan and I will try to look for clothes that could fit you so you can get changed. If you need anything, you can just press 0 on that intercom. It connects you to Taeyong-hyung," Renjun explained gently and pointed towards a small machine on the wall beside your bed. You nodded and gathered the blankets closer to you.

"We'll go now. Rest well, noona," Haechan said as he turned towards the door. Renjun followed after giving you another apologetic smile.

You waited for Jaemin to finally pick himself up from your bed as well before allowing yourself to relax. Silently, you moved your gaze towards him, only to be met by his smile. It was strange… how even though he looked so kind and gentle, the way he stared at you still sent chills running down your spine.

"Don't worry. We'll make it up to you. We'll take care of you really well…"

----- "I can drive back tonight and pick you up early tomorrow," Jaehyun said over the phone, his voice barely concealing his worry and agitation. You gnawed on your lower lip as you stared at the view outside of your room, the night sky looking foreboding without any presence of stars. You have managed to prop yourself up against the seat in front of your window out of your sheer desperation to temporarily escape the bed. It is quite ironic, maybe even strange, how you feel claustrophobic inside despite the expansive space of your quarters.

"It's fine, Jae. I'm doing much better now," you finally managed to say as you forced yourself to look away from the view of the forest beyond. Just looking at it gave you chills even though you know you should feel safe in the confines of the manor now.

"Baby, you have stitches on your head," Jaehyun tried to say that evenly, though you know just how much he is panicking right now. For a stranger, your fiance can easily pass off as unbothered and calm most of the time, but you know him enough to read him like an open book. To be honest though... you can't really blame him for how he is reacting right now.

"Yes, but I'm feeling fine now. I don't really want you to drive back this late…and besides, your workshop just started. It's only for three days anyway,” you tried to reason out, though another part of you desperately wants him by your side at the moment. You tried your best to fight it off, however, knowing how important this business trip is for him. “I think it’s okay if I stay here temporarily while I wait for you,” you added, trying your best to sound convincing.

Jaehyun was silent at the other end of the line and you patiently waited for him to speak again, knowing full well that he is just looking for another possible compromise to the situation. Finally, he sighed.

"Are you sure you are safe there though?" He asked quietly after a while. His question made you stop for a little bit, your eyes moving towards the view of the woods from your window again.

"...yes. I have a very private room right now so I can rest well," you answered as you tore your eyes away from it and forced yourself to look at the interiors of your quarters instead. Studying it now, it looks a lot like the layout of Jeno's room so you figured you must be in the same hallway.

"That's not what I mean," Jaehyun said, and you already know what he is going to say next. "What I mean is, are you sure you can trust the people there?"

It took you a few seconds to answer that. You would be lying to yourself if you say you don't feel strange and jumpy right now, but at the same time, you also feel a little guilty for harboring such emotions when the family was nice enough to offer you temporary space and care. Sure, your accident still remains a mystery, but it’s not like you can assume that anyone wanted it to happen, especially since Chenle also ended up injured. It’s because of that reason that you simply swallowed back your nerves, chalking up your odd feelings as after effects for your fall.

"Yes, of course. They haven't really bothered me that much. I don't think we should worry about it…"

Jaehyun's silence said that he wasn't entirely convinced. It took a moment for him to finally give a resigned gust of breath.

"Fine. Keep yourself safe, okay? I will call you back again tomorrow morning. Make sure you rest tonight."

"Okay...Don't worry about me too much," you said, smiling even though you know he couldn’t see you right now.

"I will still try and see if I can cut my trip shorter, alright?"

You chuckled. There it is, the compromise.

"Okay…"

"I love you. Stay safe."

"I will… Love you too."

"Oh, and honey?" You were about to cut the call when his voice stopped you again. You pressed the phone closer to your ear once more, waiting for his last words.

"Lock the door."

Your eyes flew towards the dark oak door at the other end of the room at his words.

"Okay, I will. Goodnight, baby."

You let out a tired sigh when you finally finished the call. Maybe Jaehyun was right… Maybe it wouldn't hurt if he could cut his trip and go home earlier than planned. For now though, you don't have any other choice but at least spend the first night here to recover a little more. Your wound has honestly started stinging again, maybe because the effect of the first painkillers are finally starting to wear off.

You gave one long look around your quarters before throwing your phone on the wide four poster bed. When your gaze landed on the door once more, you heard Jaehyun's reminder echoing in your mind again.

Slowly, you walked towards it, feet padding over the lush rug that covered the whole floor of the room. You noticed that there was a double lock system installed on it at least—a knob one, and a bolt-type that can be maneuvered from the inside. You gave an internal sigh of relief when you took notice of the latter, knowing that you have at least a level of protection even from those who have keys to the house. You have started to reach out to fix both locks when the door swung open all of a sudden, causing you to stumble back a little in shock.

Haechan looked back at you with the same look of surprise on his face at the threshold. For a while the two of you just stood there, staring at each other.

"Ah, I'm sorry, noona. I forgot to knock. I'm not really used to having guests here," he smiled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. His apologetic chuckles finally made you unfreeze from your spot.

"Tha-that's fine. I was just surprised. Why… are you here?"

"Oh, I just have to give you this," he extended his hands over to you, and for the first time, you noticed the folded garment that he was holding. You gingerly took it, feeling the softness of silk brushing your fingers.

"Renjun and I tried to look for an old night gown of our mom's that would fit you. It is a little bit old fashioned but it's clean and still holds up together so I think that would work, at least for now."

At his words, you took a closer look at the dress on your hands before unfurling it to its full length. He was right, it does look a little dated with its long sleeves, laced collar, and embroidered hem that would probably fall mid-leg on you, but the size looks just enough for your frame. You looked up at Haechan again with a smile.

"Thank you. I think this will work… But, are you sure it is okay for me to borrow it?" You asked hesitantly, eyes falling briefly again on the dress. After all, you do know the story behind their parents, and there are some people who can get a little sensitive about the possessions of their passed on loved ones. The least you could do is to bring up the question.

Haechan, however, looked the least bit bothered. You didn't catch it because you were studying the lacework on one of the cuffs under the light, but one end of his lips curled up into a smirk as his hooded gaze moved to study the dress on your hands before grazing your form from head to toe.

"No. We don't mind. It's the only female clothing that we can offer for now, unless you want to borrow one of our clothes~?"

That immediately made your eyes snap back to him. His words were innocent, but the way his voice curled made your cheeks feel hot all of a sudden.

"No, that's not what I meant—"

The embarrassment on your face must have looked too obvious because the boy suddenly burst out laughing, his giggles sounding like a lilting tune as it floated down the hallway. You've always noticed how beautiful his voice is, but it is only now that you realized how calming it is to the ears, despite your current flustered state.

"Yah, I'm kidding, noona. I was just trying to make you feel better," he said after his laughter calmed down. You tried to give him an apologetic smile and looked down on the dress in your hands, your fingers unconsciously finding comfort from the smoothness of the silk. Haechan drank your expression silently with his eyes in the brief moment that you were distracted. You have always had this independent and confident air around you normally, but you have a more subdued nature now, probably because you are hurt.

He studied you silently as a thought formed in his mind. He may like the way you carry yourself on an everyday basis, but the way you are now?

He loves it.

"Besides… I think you'll look pretty on it," he said softly, voice sounding like whispers on skin. You looked up to see him smiling at you fondly, as if he is remembering a distant memory.

You cleared your throat before nodding. "Thank you. I'll change to this tonight. Please say thanks to Renjun as well."

Haechan gave you his signature smile and clasped his hands behind his back.

"No problem. We'll check on you tomorrow again. Goodnight, noona."

You were about to close the door when you suddenly stopped halfway as you remembered something.

"Oh, sorry. Another thing."

The boy turned back to you to give you a questioning look. You smiled at him apologetically.

"Can I ask to have some of my medications? I don't know who has it but I think Taeyong was handed my prescription. It's just that, my head is hurting again so I’d like to take some before going to sleep…"

Haechan's brows raised slightly at the realization.

"Oh, Taeyong-hyung hasn't visited you yet then? Ah… I think it's because he is still busy with Chenle. I can get them for you, noona."

"Will that be okay? Really sorry for asking this."

"Stop apologizing, it's fine," he winked and you managed to return it with a grateful smile. "I'll look for Taeyong-hyung and bring you your meds. Maybe you can get changed for now."

"Thank you, Haechan."

"I'll be back," he nodded before turning on his heels again, a spring on his step.

------- "Shhh… sweetie, don't cry. You know I don't like it when you do that, right?"

A woman bent over a boy not older than seven who was currently cowering against the shadowed corner of the room. The space didn't have any lights on, but the sliver of moonlight that passed between the small crack of curtains shone on the tear-streaked face of the child. The female in front of him gently reached out for his face, cradling his cheeks lovingly between long, slender fingers.

"Look at you, you look like a mess now… stop crying, okay?" Her voice was soft and angelic when she spoke, enough to calm down the sobs wrecking the thin frame of the child before her. The boy gave a small nod which made her smile, her dainty features glowing with happiness.

"Very good. Now… you do know we have to go through this, right? You've been a bad boy so you leave me with no other choice."

The child froze in fear but softened his stance after a few heartbeats. He mumbled softly, trying his best to keep his voice from breaking.

"Yes… mother."

The woman's expression remained somber, as if she was in pain. She gently moved her hand to run her thumb over the boy's cheek, wetting her sharp fingernail with his tears.

"You do know that even if it will hurt, mother still loves you a lot, right? Mama is doing this because she cares for you a lot and she wants you to be good... my sunshine... my precious, precious boy…"

Her soothing voice mixed with her words made the boy stop crying entirely. Instead, his eyes shone with pure adoration for her.

"Yes, mama… I know that."

The lady smiled. Her eyes scanned the features of the child momentarily before finally letting her hand holding his face drop to her side. Slowly, she straightened up again to her full height, but not before grabbing for something from the floor beside her. The moonlight caught it before it got swallowed by the darkness of the room again—a leather belt so thin it almost looks like a whip.

The woman raised her hand gracefully above her head before giving one last loving smile at the boy on the floor.

"Now, try not to scream too much… we don't want to hurt your voice."

---- Haechan softly hummed a happy tune as he walked through the wing of the house where their private quarters are. It was late at night and the rest of his brothers had retreated back into their own rooms despite all the excitement that happened in the past few hours. His gaze touched each door as he passed them, a smile curling the tips of his lips as he did.

There are a few things that Haechan believes sets him apart from the rest of his family. He isn't as physically strong as Jeno, as charismatic as Jaemin, or as patient and quiet as Renjun. He isn't as friendly and likable as Mark, nor is he also as innocent and magnetic as Jisung and Chenle.

What Haechan is, however...is smart and cunning…

He is smart enough to always be two steps ahead of everyone and cunning enough to move the pieces that he set without having to lift a finger if he wanted to. There is a subtleness in him that doesn't make red flags flash in someone’s head unlike Jaemin does whenever he can't control his neediness, but he has enough pull to get under someone's skin if he wanted to unlike Renjun who prefers the quiet and watchful approach. Oh and Jeno? He knows how to use Jeno's strength well.

He knows it enough to suggest to his brother to give a little friendly push to the right direction—or rather, to the right cliff—so the wheel can finally move. Sure, it might hurt someone, maybe even break a bone or two, but that's normal. After all, when you love, you should be willing to hurt a little.

His hums died when he finally stopped at the last room down the hallway, mind trying to picture what's on the other side. His gaze quickly glanced at the small tray in his hands carrying a small glass of water and a variety of pills that gleamed under the dim lighting. He smiled. Finally, he raised his hand to gently tap on the oak door in front of him.

"Noona, can I come in? I have your medicine with me."

He heard a soft rustling from the other side before the door finally opened. Silently, Haechan took a calming breath and tried his best to look casual at the vision that welcomed him. Of course he was right. The dress looked perfect on her, almost as if she was the original owner of it. She looked like she stepped out from a dream�� his dreams.

Oh and what he would do to keep her there.

He gave her a friendly smile now as he pushed the tray to her hands. She returned it with a grateful look before studying the oddly matched colors of pills there silently. They shone dully under the dim lighting of the hallway, as if officially warning the start of something.

Yes, Haechan believes that there are a few things that starkly sets him apart from the rest of his brothers. But if he were to choose one, he would say he is ruthless. Ruthless enough to drag someone down a little, all the while wearing that sunny smile on his face.

After all, a little nightmare won't hurt anyone.

"Don't forget to take them so you can feel better, okay noona?"

---

CHAPTER 5

A/N: Okaaay so the core four have finally been covered. Guess it’s time to ask now who is the scariest? JK. Taglist below!

@negincho, @jhornytrash, @jaeminhyuckiii, @jungwoosswhore, @jsturkey, @aj–7, @pukupukupawpau, @tomiesgirlfren, @vsszn, @those-winternights, ---

#nct dream fic #nct dream yandere #nct dream 00 liner yandere #nct dream 00 line x reader #haechan x reader #jeno x reader #jaemin x reader #renjun x reader #nct chenle #nct jisung #nct taeyong #nct taeil #nct yandere imagines #jaehyun x reader #nct horror au #nct dream yandere au #nct dream 00 line yandere fic #nct-writers

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ethanesimp · 3 years

Text

AMAMI PER SEMPRE // E.T.

Pairing: Ethan Torchio x Fem! Reader

Summary: Ethan isn’t the brightest—or the best—when it comes to surprises, so his attempt at proposing to you causes a few misunderstandings...

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Swearing, a tiny tiny mention of death, some angst, other than that it’s pure fluff and me projecting my obsession with old books onto the reader.

Request: Ethan planning to propose and acting super nervous and strange (a bit angsty bc the reader doesn’t know what’s happening) and ending in pure fluff.

Masterlist // Taglist link in bio

A/N: After more than a year of stepping foot into a bookstore for *cough* obvious reasons, I got to go to one yesterday. While looking at some second-hand books I had an idea that I decided to combine with @kawaiiwxnnabe’s lovely request to bring you this. I hope you enjoy! <3

Ethan had been mindlessly listening to Damiano sing Amandoti when the thought of marrying you first seriously crossed his mind. It had been a thing he’d thought of countless times ever since he started dating you, but it had never remained with as much intensity as it had that time.

Damiano, who had noticed his friend’s face illuminate all of a sudden, had a talk with him that once and for all convinced Ethan that it was the right time and you were the right person. He didn’t sleep at all that night because he couldn’t stop thinking about what would be the perfect way to propose to you. It was no secret to him—or anyone who knew you—that you were a hopeless romantic.

There was nothing that made you happier than simple and small details that came from the heart. That was the reason why you had developed an affinity towards old books. Not only did they have a particular and special scent that reminded you of vanilla and chocolate, but some had the luck—as you liked to call it—of being embellished by notes on margins or dedications on covers. Whether they were about love, sorrow, or maybe even hate, they still showed a small glimpse into the life of the person who had once owned it. Those notes told a story that would prevail even long after they were gone from the earth.

Ever since he had noticed that small obsession of yours, Ethan had tried to help you expand your treasured collection by bringing you back books he found at antique stores from every country the band played in.

During a visit to Spain after he initially had his stirring thought, Ethan took the chance to visit one of the second-hand shops he’d found during a night stroll with Victoria, who had disappeared into a bakery. His main goal was to find something different from the usual books he brought back for you.

After he walked into the store and vaguely told the old lady at the counter about his idea in the best Spanish he could muster, she smiled warmly at him and guided him to the very back of the tiny shop where a beautiful and worn out bookshelf sat in all its glory, filled with as many books as it could hold.

He immediately started searching around for the perfect book, but it proved to be harder than he initially thought it’d be. After searching around for more than an hour, all he had found was a collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s tales and poems with a heartbreaking note to someone’s dead lover. While it had almost brought him to tears and was a special thing he’d buy to give to you later, it wasn’t exactly the best thing to help him carry out his plan.

Victoria walked into the shop when he was about to give up and, fully aware of his plan, started looking around without saying a word to him. They both searched around the messy piles of books for something. It didn’t take long for her to stumble across three books held together by a lilac satin ribbon.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. All three contained a note on the very first page right under the title, but the last one stood out above the other two because, according to his basic knowledge of Spanish, it ended with the very question he wanted to ask ¿Quieres casarte conmigo? Or ‘Will you marry me?’. He bought all three of them after a huge smile and a thumbs up from Victoria.

What he hadn’t expected was for them to remain hidden in a drawer he knew you never opened underneath piles of clothes. Ever since he came back from their small trip to Spain, Ethan had tried to ask the question about six times, but always ended up choking on his words and saying something else. In fact, the first time he ever tried, Ethan chickened out at the last second and ended up giving you the Edgar Allan Poe anthology instead.

You were still none the wiser to his plan even after he’d asked about your opinion on marriage a few times. Anyone would’ve probably caught up with what was going on already, but you were always so busy with things happening around you that you didn’t connect his awkward and nervous attitude with his questions.

You didn’t start giving his actions a second thought until one night… You had been cooped up in your office all day working on a new project you were supposed to present to your boss by the end of the week when you suddenly felt the urge to get up and walk around the house.

Ethan was casually sitting on the couch as he whispered unintelligible words into his phone. You supposed he was on a call with a friend or maybe his manager and was trying to be quiet to avoid disturbing you, but then he hung up the call with a panicked expression the moment he noticed you. After that, you started thinking back on the way he had been behaving ever since he returned and it all raised the suspicion that there was something strange going on.

It didn’t get any better when he kept on acting weird. Simple things that he had allowed you to do, like using his phone to take pictures because it had a better camera than yours, now seemed to make him almost mad. He’d even snapped at you once when you tried to grab it to take a picture with him. Even if Ethan had apologized right away, it still didn’t calm you down, especially because he had gone as far as to change the password on it.

It almost felt like he was walking on eggshells around you and you didn’t like it one bit. Your relationship had always been about honesty and worked because of constant communication. Everything was just so strange that your mind couldn’t help but think of the worst.

You were an imaginative person who never had any difficulties when it came to envisioning things clearly. Unfortunately, that also applied to every negative thought that crossed your mind, so it wasn’t hard for you to start coming up with the worst explanations as to why he was acting so suspicious. It didn’t help much that he had been busier than normal because the band was wrapping up on their latest album, so you hadn’t had the opportunity to sit down and voice all your concerns, to ask if something was going on and if there was a way to fix it.

The morning of your anniversary, you’d finally had enough. You had woken up, expecting to feel Ethan’s arm tightly wrapped around your waist and to receive a shower of kisses the moment he noticed you were awake, but no. There was no Ethan and the side of his bed was already neatly made.

Your disappointment only grew when he wasn’t in the kitchen or his small studio where he had his drums. You doubted he was in the house at all.

It was a thing that wouldn’t have affected you much had he done it any other time, but with everything that had been going on as of late, you could only fear the worst. So, without being able to control yourself, you started making the worst conclusions. You’d always been fully aware that he loved you, but all the signs undoubtedly pointed at him meeting someone new… And maybe he was going to leave you for them as well… during your anniversary.

That was all you needed to break into tears. You climbed back into bed and cried for what seemed to be hours. Even since you got together, you had thought of him as your person, your forever. The thought of him leaving you broke your heart into tiny pieces.

Ethan arrived home only a few minutes after you’d buried yourself underneath all the blankets and cried out all your worries. When he was about to open the door to your bedroom, he stopped. Were you crying?

He stood there in complete silence for a few seconds until he was more than sure that you were, in fact, crying. Ethan rushed inside and he felt his heart break at the sight of you looking so heartbroken, and it didn’t get any better when he heard a whimper come out of your mouth at the sight of him. You cuddled deeper into the bedsheets and turned away from him.

Ethan sat on your side of the bed and, as delicately as possible, he cupped your face into his warm hands and wiped your tears with his thumbs, “Amore,” He said in a quiet voice, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You tried to turn away from him, but his grip on your face stopped you from doing so. You placed one of your hands on top of his and gave it a firm squeeze. No part of you was ready to have that conversation with him because that was going to be it and you were going to have to watch him leave…

So, with a lot of courage, you spoke the first words that came to mind, “You know, i-it’s okay if you’ve found someone else,” You caressed his cheek softly as more tears started spilling down your face, “You can tell me if you have.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your words and the only thing he could do was shake his head no, “What? Found someone else? What would make you say such a thing dolcezza?”

Then, before you could even answer, realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt like the stupidest living being on the face of the Earth. He pinched his nose and sighed, annoyed at himself.

“Fuck… I’m so fucking stupid. Please don’t ever think of something like that. I was just… I-I,” Clueless as to what to say, Ethan pressed his lips against yours to kiss you slowly, hoping it spoke more than his words ever could. He could still taste a trace of the salty tears that had fallen on your lips and he couldn’t help but shed a few of his own at the thought that he’d been the one to make you cry.

After pulling away, Ethan pressed his forehead to yours and brushed his nose against yours while his arms held you as close as possible, “Will you close your eyes for just a second, amore mio? I promise everything will make so much sense soon.”

You nodded and kept your eyes closed as you felt him get up from the bed. You heard him open and close a few drawers, and look around for something for a while before he sat back on the bed. Ethan grabbed your hands in his and slowly slipped the three small books into your grasp.

You opened his eyes after a small sound of approval from him and smiled when you saw the three old books held together by a ribbon and the pretty pink rose that had been carefully been slipped into the first book and the ribbon.

You gently removed the flower and placed it on your side. Then you undid the simple knot and picked up the first book, “Wuthering Heights?” You questioned.

He nodded, “Yeah… At least I think that’s it. I hope I didn’t bring back some sketchy book or some shit,” Ethan scratched his neck and you giggled as you opened it on the first page. Your fingers brushed over the letters neatly written down in fountain pen.

After clearing your throat, you started reading the first dedication out loud. Since your Spanish wasn’t exactly the best either, you had to pause every once in a while to translate all the words, “May 17, 1850… My dearest Helena, I hope this book reaches you in great condition, being apart from you is one of the hardest challenges I have ever had to face, one of the most painful as well. I hope you can find me in between these pages as you read and remember how much I love you, remember how much I long to be back in your arms and kiss your lips. Sincerely, Alejandro.”

You closed it and placed it back on the bed before opening the second book and doing the same thing with the third, “January 24, 1855. Carolina, nothing I’ve ever experienced has gotten close to being as terrible as not having you in my arms. Apologies are overdue… long overdue. Words have never been my strongest suit, yet I still hope I can coherently express just how much I love you, all of you. I’m afraid I’m already too late since you will soon be betrothed to someone else and there will be nothing I can do by then.

“Still, I hope with everything in my being that this arrives sooner so you’re aware of how sorry I am. I hope you remember that I would do anything you asked without a single complaint just to watch that lovely smile I adore so much appear on your face. If you ever come back to me, I promise with every fiber of my being, and I’ll be dammed if I don’t keep my promise, that I will leave everything behind and escape with you. Anywhere, any time. So with that, I ask a question that will hopefully have a yes as an answer. Will you marry me? With love, Javier.”

Before you could close it, Ethan stopped you and timidly asked for you to open the book on the very last page. You did it and looked back at him with confusion at the sight of his writing on the page, “Read this one out loud for me. Will you Y/N?” You nodded and mumbled a small ‘of course’ before clearing your throat to get rid of the knot that had formed.

“October 21, 2025… Y/N, my one true love, I’ve always hoped to make a gesture that will remind you of your treasured books. I’ve never been one great with words spoken out loud, so I sought inspiration from those before me who were just as in love with someone as I am with you. Ever since I met you I dreamt of one day settling down with you, of having our small home in the countryside as you’ve always dreamed of. Maybe even doing some of those cloying gestures people seem to do in fiction and dedicate to you the most beautiful love poems I lay eyes on.

“I’ve wondered for a while how I could ever take the step that would bring me closer to that goal, yet every time I try, words seem to get stuck in my throat with no way out and I end up in square one all over again. It is with this note that I hope to finally take a step in the right direction because I know you’re it for me. You’re my person, my forever, and there’s nothing I would love more than to share my life with you. Sei la mia migliore amica e il mio unico vero amore. Ti chiedo di accettare il mio amore, il mio nome e tutto quello che sono.” (You are my best friend and my one true love. I ask you to accept my love, my name, and everything I am.)

When your eyes spotted the four words that followed, you slowly lowered the book, “Will you marry me?” You both said at the same time, although yours sounded more like an unintelligible mumble. Only then did you notice him down on one knee right in front of you. He held a velvet box with one of the most beautiful rings sitting inside of it

A hand went to cover your mouth as tears started falling down your face. This time, happy and free of worry. You could only nod repeatedly, overcome with pure joy as your heart swelled with love.

He slowly slid the ring into your finger and grabbed your face to kiss you once again, “I’m so sorry I made you think something else was going on. I just kept backtracking every time I tried to tell you. Not because I was regretting the decision but because I didn’t want to lose you.”

You shook your head as a silent way of saying it was alright and brushed his hair back with your fingers, “The important thing is that you’ve done it and you’re not going to lose me, no matter how hard you try. I’ll always be right here because I love you and I’ll always be yours.”

#ethan torchio x reader #ethan torchio x you #ethan torchio x y/n #ethan torchio fanfiction #maneskin x reader #maneskin fanfiction

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make-me-imagine · 3 years

Text

Redemption for a Broken Heart

((Part One: Too Little, Too Late))

Summary: Poe mourns the loss of the one person he always had; and slowly he spirals into guilt and anger over the lost chance of happiness that he threw away. But just as he seems to lose all hope, he learns there is a possibility you are still alive. Is it true? Are you still out there? Does he have a chance to save you? And a second chance to tell you how he feels?

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Gn!Reader

Triggers: Mentions of injuries, violence/fighting, mild torture, blood, etc.

Words: ~7k

A/n's: Planet Kayzan is made up. Sections in itallics are flashback memories. The (- - - ) separates POV's or short time-skips. Angst, action, a lot of pov switching, and some fluff-ish moments

* * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * *

"I don't know Poe, what do you want me to say?" You laughed as you adjusted your position, bringing your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around them.

"You really can't think of anything?" Poe asked, both shocked and amused.

You stared out at the setting sun for a moment before shrugging your shoulders lightly "I don't know. I'd like- I'd like to help people. But I'm not really sure how."

Poe watched the side of your face, your eyes shined with an almost hidden determination, but there was also doubt in them as well. Doubt that you would ever be able to be anything. Poe felt it as well, but he knew as long as you two were together, just as you had been for the last eight years, he'd be alright.

As you turned to look over at him Poe quickly looked away, though he wasn't entirely sure why. He would often catch himself staring at you recently. Stealing glances when you weren't paying attention. Following your movements carefully, noticing all the small things you'd do. The particular way you would pick up your cup, or how you would gently touch hot food to your lips to test it's temperature. All the small little things he had never noticed before, that he's starting to see all the time now.

Was he? Did he? No. No he couldn't. You were his friend. His best friend, nothing else. No matter how tempted he was to be more, he was too afraid to ruin what you had. So, no. He wouldn't embrace these feelings rising in his chest. He'd push them down. He'd refuse them. He couldn't lose you by trying to be something more than what you wanted.

"Poe!" You laughed as you pushed him lightly, making him jump.

"What?" he asked startled.

"I asked what about you? What do you want to do?"

"Oh" Poe chuckled "Sorry, got lost in thought."

"What were you thinking about?" You asked with a curious smile.

'You.' Poe smiled lightly and pushed the thought away "I wanna fly." Your smile widened and he felt his heart skip a beat. "I don't care where to, or who for, I just wanna be up there." He said as he looked up at the distant darkening sky.

You followed his gaze and smiled "I think you'd be great Poe."

There goes his heart again. He looked back over at you, and when you met his eyes he felt a deep fear rise up. If he became a pilot, where would you go? What would you be doing?

"What is it Poe?" You asked with slight concern written on your face as you saw his own fall.

He shook his head "Nothin', I just...You'd come with me right? I mean. What if we, I don't know. Did something together?"

You chuckled lightly "Like what?"

Poe let out his own chuckle "I have no idea. I just know that whatever it is, I want you to be right there with me."

You grinned at him and leaned over, lying your head on his shoulder as you looked out at the now dark horizon "Of course we'll be together Poe. We always are-"

"Always will be." Poe added.

You both chuckled and Poe let out a deep breath. As long as you were there, he'd need nothing else.

* * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * *

Poe sniffled as he wiped his nose, staring down at the floor. The memory of that day playing in his mind. It was the first time he really realized he had feelings for you. And it was when he forced them away. He never thought you could feel the same, so he refused to accept that he did.

Now no matter what reasons he had, they would never seem alright. No amount of excuses he could come up made the pain go away. He lost you, and you never knew. You told him that you loved him, and he couldn't speak. He couldn't say it back, so you never knew.

But he did love you. So much, for so long. And now all he felt was a burning rage in his chest, towards himself. For all those times he ignored his feelings and pushed them away. For all the times he tried to be with anyone else to try and get over his feelings for you. Now all he could think about was the lost time. How great you two could have been together as more than friends.

Poe dropped his head and stared down at the floor beneath him. He felt a tear escape his eye and fall to the ground.

He had shut himself away in his quarters for the last few days. Ever since he lost you. He couldn't bring himself to speak to anyone, to eat, or drink, he couldn't even sleep. No matter how exhausted he was. But he didn't care. He didn't deserve it.

As he wallowed in his own pain, he ignored the buzzing of his door. Not wanting to speak with anyone. But as it insistently buzzed he felt anger rise in his chest.

Standing he moved to the door quickly, opening it "What?" he asked harshly before faltering in surprise as he saw the Generals surprised face. He straightened up slightly and felt guilt cover his face "General Organa. I'm sorry, I just-"

She held up her hand "It's alright Poe, I understand."

He nodded lightly and she took in his appearance. Bags under his eyes, disheveled hair and clothes. Walking past him and into his quarters she turned and stared at him for a moment.

"We found Y/n's ship. Wrecked on the planets shoreline."

Poe felt his heart drop. He nodded his head in understanding, though it was barely noticeable.

General Organa took a few steps closer to him and grabbed his arm, making him look at her "Poe. I need you to listen." Poe frowned at her sudden intense tone "We don't know what it means just yet, so I don't want you coming to any conclusions, but..we found no body. Anywhere near the ship. And it appeared as though the ship doors may have been opened from the inside of the ship, after the crash."

Poe stopped breathing as he stared at Leia, he felt his chest tighten as hope began to swell in his chest. His thoughts were suddenly filled with a million questions and thoughts of you.

"You're saying-" He felt emotion build up in his chest, his eyes tearing up at the thought "Y/n might-" He couldn't get it out, but as Leia nodded her head he felt as thought his chest might explode as he let out a desperate breath.

"We don't know for sure yet Poe." She said gaining his attention and he nodded "I just thought you should know. We have a ground team trying to figure out where...if Y/n got out, where they might have ended up."

Poe nodded again, trying to remain calm but he couldn't. You could still be alive, out there, possibly hurt, lost. Hearing Leia's communicator beep, Poe broke from his thoughts, watching as she answered it.

"General Organa, our ground team found tracks from L/n's ship leading into the mountains. It appears there had been another ship there...It seems that they might have been taken prisoner by the First Order."

In a second, Poe's hopes of seeing you again faltered as they were replaced by fear. If you had been taken by the First Order, who knows if you were still alive.

Organa met Poe's eyes, and he knew she was thinking the same thing. Poe felt determination take over as he stared her down "We need to get Y/n back."

Leia reached out and placed her hand on Poe's shoulder "I know how badly you want Y/n to be returned safely, I do as well. But we need a plan first. If we rush in there we could just end up getting Y/n killed."

Poe wanted to refuse this, he wanted to complain, but he shoved it down, knowing that Leia was right. The last thing you needed was a resistance attack causing your captors to panic and dispose of you.

"What are we going to do?" Poe asked, desperation rising.

"We'll come up with something. If they have Y/n, we'll get them back. I promise."

* * - - - - - * *

"Ah." You winced as you jumped down from the simulator ship, others running to you in concern.

"Are you alright cadet?" One of the pilot commanders asked.

You nodded your head "I think so. The control panel caved in and crushed my leg." You responded as you turned back to look at the simulator. "What the hell happened?" You asked.

The pilot sighed "A droid short circuited and ended up causing two simulators to lose control, crashing into one another."

"I didn't think that was possible." You said shocked.

The commander looked up at you "Neither did I."

You let out a dry chuckle as you continued to limp towards the exit.

"Y/n!" You heard your name called and turned, seeing Poe running towards you, panic on his face. As he approached and saw you limping he ran to your side "Are you okay? I heard there was an accident with the ship simulator?"

"Yeah, but it's alright, I'm okay." You said as Poe wrapped your arm around his neck, helping you to stand. He could see a tare in your pants above the knee, your exposed skin raw and scraped, bruises already forming "Let's get you to the med-bay." He said as he helped you to the door.

"Did you know the simulators could crash into each other?" You asked.

Poe looked at you in surprise "No?"

"Turns out they can." You chuckled.

Poe's concern was replaced by amusement as he shook his head and laughed "Leave it to you to laugh about almost dying."

"I was no where near close to dying!" You said with a dry laugh.

"Well it was close enough to give me a heart attack." Poe said defensively "Ever since we were kids you've always gotten into trouble, always getting hurt, If you're not careful, one day you're gonna get yourself killed."

* * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * *

Your eyes jolted open as you regained consciousness suddenly. You looked around in confusion as the memory of Poe's voice faded into a dream. Bright lights lining the walls around you made you squint. You tired to bring up your hand but couldn't. Looking down you see your wrists strapped to the chair you were placed in. Your feet tied down as well.

Looking around the room again, you began to gain focus. The room was a dark grey, the walls padded. Nearby was a door, along with a table. On the table lied various tools you couldn't recognize. But you felt a growing anxiety in your chest as your memory flooded back.

Your ship was shot down halfway through the battle with the First Order. You landed down the shore of the planets ocean. You were injured, but alive, surprising yourself when you woke up in your cockpit. Your ship was completely dead, and you were unable to communicate with any ships nearby. You managed to get your ship open and fell out onto the sandy shore.

Practically crawling away, you tried to make it to the Resistance base on the Eastern side of the island you crashed on. But a group of First Order scouts got to you first. You tried to fight back but were to weak from your injuries. They knocked you out, and now you were waking up here.

Looking around, you were unsure why, but you were looking for Poe. 'No he's not here. Of course he's not.' You thought to yourself. You suddenly thought of the last time you saw him and were suddenly felt with regret and guilt. You shouldn't have left like that. You finally admitted your feelings, but you could have done it differently. And now you were here, having no idea exactly where "here" was.

You had no idea how long it had been, nor if the others knew you had been taken or if they thought you were dead. If Poe thought you were dead.

You felt your chest tighten at the thought. No matter what happened the last time you talked, how you left. He didn't deserve to think you were dead. Especially after how you had last interacted.

As the door of the room you were in slid open your thoughts of Poe were replaced with panic as you watched a man stalk into the room. He was tall, slim, had a sunken face and dark grey eyes to mach his First Order uniform. His eyes bore into your own as he stopped directly in front of you.

For much longer than was comfortable he stared at you without speaking. Finally, feeling fed up with it, you dared speak "Are you trying to read my mind or something?"

Before a second could pass he slapped you hard across the face, catching you off guard. Shaking it off you glared at him. His lips curled slightly into a small smirk as he began to circle around your chair.

"How did the Resistance learn of our attack on the base?" He asked.

You scoffed "The last thing I'd like to do is compliment you, but I'm sure you already know the answer to that question." Your voice was filled with venom.

Stopping in front of you again he smiled at you, making your stomach clench with discomfort. "Fine." He said slowly. "Who is the spy that told you about our attack?"

You rolled your eyes "Even if I did know that information I wouldn't tell you."

The man turned away from you and walked to the small table of tools. You felt your hands start sweating as he looked through them, running his gloved fingers over them. Picking up a small cane of sorts, you assumed provided some sort of electrical shock, you looked into his eyes and tried to show no fear.

"I'm sure I'll get some useful information out of you." He said threatening.

Glaring you leaned forward a bit, staring into his eyes unblinkingly "I wont make it that easy."

- - - - -

Poe tapped his foot impatiently as he looked around the room at all of those who were gathered. Pilots, Resistance members, and at the head of the room General Organa.

Organa moved to the center of the room and everyone went silent. She met Poe's eyes for a moment before she began to speak out loud.

"I've gathered all of you here for a very specific reason. I'm sure you have all heard that resistance fighter and pilot Y/n L/n was shot down yesterday during the battle."

As she paused there were sad murmurs through the crowd as many people looked to the ground in grief.

"Many lives were lost during this battle with the First Order. And as of this morning, all who went missing or whose ships were shot down were confirmed as dead. All except one. We did not find Y/n's body. We have evidence that tells us Y/n survived their ship crash, but, they were taken by the First Order from the crash site of their ship. Two hours ago, our spies informed us that a resistance prisoner was taken to a first order base on a small planet called Kayzan. An hour ago, it was confirmed this prisoner was indeed Y/n."

The murmurs continued, louder as an air of concern filled the room. Poe felt many eyes land on him, everyone in the room knowing how close you two were. Poe himself felt anger rise in his chest at the thoughts of what the members of the First Order might be doing to you. He continued tapping his foot and wringing his hands as he also thought about how much time was being wasted, he could be halfway to Kayzan by now.

"So, the reason you are all here, is that you are Y/n's friends. I have known Y/n for a number of years, as have many of you. Y/n, in the past has risked their own life to save resistance members when they have been taken prisoner. It is my intention to repay this debt. It is my intention to do everything we can to rescue Y/n L/n. We do not however, intend to attack the First Order base in full force. Instead, we are going to provide a distraction, so that Commander Dameron can sneak onto Kayzan and rescue Y/n. I know that I may be asking a lot, and that I am putting you in danger to rescue a single person. So, those of you who wish to stay, can. Those of you who wish to partake in this mission, we leave in 15 minutes." The General finished speaking and turned to leave, Poe rose and followed her immediately.

"How many do you think will come?" She asked as he fell into step beside her.

"Most of them, if not all." He said confidently "When Y/n makes friends they're for life." The general smiled at this, believing him fully.

- - - - -

Your eyes were clenched shut as you continued to wriggle your hands in their binds. The First Order didn't think much of you, what proved this was the simple binds they placed around your wrists. Rather than the metal clasps you would expect, they were made of an almost rubber-like material you knew of well. It was thick and at first seems unbreakable or unable to be torn. But you knew that with constant resistance and stretching, as well as heat, the material could be worn down to the point of breaking.

Unfortunately your wrists were now raw and near bleeding as you continued to constantly bend and stretch the binds. You were close to getting your hands free, but the pain was approaching unbearable as your skin burned. You had lost track of time, and were beginning to lose hope of getting out of you binds. But just as you began to feel the desperation rise, there was a small popping and taring sound as the binds around your right wrist split at the top.

You gasped lightly as your eyes shot open. Pulling your arm up with a hard tug, the bind ripped more, pulling once again, the bind fell all the way off and your arm was now free. Quickly you began to tug at the other strap, gripping it and pulling it. After a few moments you were able to tare the edge and pry the rest off. Looking down at your feet, you felt a bit hopeless as they were not worn down enough to get out of as easily.

Looking to the table nearby you moved yourself from the chair as much as you could, bending you legs at an awkward angle as you tried to reach out to the table. Your fingers were mere centimeters away. Out of sheer desperation, you flung yourself towards the table with what flexibility and strength you had left. Managing to grab the edge of the table, you knocked it down, causing the tools to crash onto the floor.

You let out a groan of pain as you grabbed a blade, pulling yourself back onto the chair. You ignored the screaming of your now surely pulled muscles, as well as the still bleeding wounds on your sides where your captures insisted on poking and prodding you.

Watching the door carefully as you quickly cut at the binds, you were surprised no one entered the room. Surely the crash of the table was loud enough to alert the guards that were outside. Cutting through one of your leg binds you began carving at the other. Suddenly the alarms in the base started to go off, and red blinking lights began to light up the room.

Your heart began pounding as you wondered what was going on. Surely those alarms weren't for you? You hadn't technically escaped yet. Then you thought of the resistance, of Poe. Had they come for you? Had they somehow found out where you were? You felt hope rising in your chest, but tried not to depend on it too much. It was still a possibility that no one knew where you were. The First Order had more enemies than just the resistance. Besides, who would risk their lives to attack a First Order base to rescue one person? Unless others had been captured as well?

Managing to cut the binds from your foot, you rose from your chair and limped to the door, grimacing from the pain shooting through your entire body. You were glad the adrenaline pulsing through you was keeping you upright.

Before opening the door, you looked back at the tools that had been used to torture you. A blade was not enough to get you out of here. A gun would be best, but luckily for you they didn't use one of those.

Stepping over and crouching down, you grabbed the stun cane your interrogator seemed to enjoy using. Pressing the trigger button, you watched as a bright bolt of electricity crackled at the top. Your side seemed to pulsate from the memories of it's power.

Turning up the power on the cane to as high as it could go, you turned back to the door. Taking a few deep breaths you pressed the button and opened the door. Your hopes of there no longer being any guards proved disappointing as a storm trooper by the door quickly turned.

Upon seeing you he immedietely charged at you, but even with your injuries you were quicker. Bringing up the stun cane, you shoved it under his helmet and to his neck before pressing the button. As the trooper groaned and fell to the ground a yell came from behind you. Turning you saw another storm trooper raising his rifle. Jumping to the side, you barely manage to get behind the door as the streaked rang past you. You waited for the storm trooper to come to you before jumping him as he came to the door.

You struggled with him for a moment before being able to stun him and take him down. Without stopping for too long, you quickly grabbed one of their guns before dragging them into the room. Taking the smaller ones armor you donned it to pass as a storm trooper for as long as you could.

Sneaking back out of the room, you began to make your way down the hall and further into the base, hoping that if you found what was causing the alarm and lock-down, was indeed the resistance.

- - - - -

Poe crouched down behind the weapons containers as multiple storm troopers and First Order officers ran past. The large armada of resistance fighters circling the planet worked well as a distraction, allowing Poe to get onto the base with BB-8 in tow.

Running quickly, yet quietly down a corridor, Poe crouched down next to a control panel, watching the halls with his gun at the ready. BB-8 began to connect with the control panel. A couple beeps and a whistle later BB-8 seemed to shake with excitement before turning to Poe and letting out a mess of noises.

Poe smiled and let out a relieved sigh as BB-8 informed him of your location. Okay buddy let's go. As he rose to leave, a couple storm-troopers rounded the corner, immedietely spotting Poe.

"Shi-!" Poe exclaimed as he began to fire at the troopers while pressing himself against the corridor pillars, which he barely fit behind. Ducking down he lost his footing as a phaser blast struck his upper shoulder. Managing to take out both storm-troopers he hissed in pain as he looked at his burnt shoulder. BB-9 whirred in fear as he pressed up to Poe.

"It's alright, just a flesh wound." He said as he stood up "Come on, we got to get to Y/n." BB-8 followed quickly behind as they headed down the corridor.

After a mess of turns and multiple near-sightings by some more officers that ran by, Poe finally made it to the room you had been kept in. After BB-8 connected to the door, it unlocked and slid open. Poe lifted his gun in case you weren't alone, but faltered when instead of seeing you, he saw to men lying on the ground. One storm-trooper, and another man in thin underclothes.

Looking around the room, Poe saw the torn binds on the chair in the middle of the room, as well as blood. Then his eyes landed on the mess of tools on the floor. Poe felt his stomach clench as his thoughts ran away with what happened to you here. Looking back to the near-naked man, it clicked in his mind that you must have escaped, and that you were running around dressed as a storm-trooper.

Poe felt a bolt of relief that you got away, but it was followed immediately by anxiety as it would now be much harder to find you.

"Damn!" Poe cursed as he looked around desperately before looking back down at BB-8. "Come on." He said as he ran back out of the room, unsure of what to do now.

- - - - -

You walked with as much confidence and strength as you could muster as you passed another group of storm-troopers running past. Your heart pounded in your chest. You had no idea how long you had until they found out you escaped.

"Hey you!" You heard from behind you.

Turning quickly, you winced at the pain from the movement, and hoped you had made no audible noise. Another storm-trooper marched up to you, seemingly watching you closely "That corridor has already been searched, look for the intruder somewhere else."

Intruder? Nodding your head harshly you turned to walk away, hoping the storm-troopers would ask no questions. As you rounded the corner you let out a breath of relief as you heard no following footsteps. Thinking back to what he said you felt an anxious hope rise up in your chest. It was Poe. You didn't know how you knew, but you did. He was here.

Quickening your pace slightly, you tried to ignore the pain searing through your body. You didn't know how much longer you could hold out, but you had to try.

Hearing shouting coming from a nearby hanger you froze for a moment as you listened. Hearing some phaser fire, you began to run towards the hanger. Your body screamed for you to stop, but your brain told you to keep going. For Poe.

As you entered the hanger, you saw three storm-troopers firing at a shipping container. Suddenly you saw a familiar face pop out for just a second as he returned fire.

"Poe." You whispered to yourself. With little to no hesitation, you immedietely turned your guns to the storm-troopers and began to fire.

Quickly killing one, the others turned in alarm. Seeing you, still dressed at a storm-trooper, their confusion allowed you time to kill the second. But as the third dived behind a nearby ship after firing a few shots at you, more storm-troopers entered the hanger.

- -

Poe felt desperation take over as he hid from the phaser fire of the storm-troopers. He came to the hanger hoping you might attempt to get a ship. But he ran into a small group of storm-troopers that were clearly not you.

As he fired again, barely dodging a phaser blast, his eye caught on another storm-trooper entering the hanger.

"Great." He muttered in annoyance.

Hearing more phaser fire, followed by alarmed chatter of storm-troopers, Poe frowned before he peaked out from behind the container. Seeing the storm-trooper that had just entered, firing on the other three, he felt a smile form on his face.

"Y/n" He whispered.

Suddenly more phaser fire came from across the hanger and towards you. He watched as you were hit in the shoulder before throwing yourself behind a large container. He jumped up and began to fire at the storm-troopers who just entered. A moment later you continued to fire at them as well.

Using your attacks as cover, Poe began to run towards you, hiding behind ships as he went. BB-8 continued to whistle in terror as the droid stayed close to Poe's side.

- -

As you dove behind the large container, you groaned in pain as your skin burned from the wound to your shoulder. Ripping off the storm-trooper helmet, you took a few steadying breaths. Leaning out, you began to fire at the storm-troopers across the hanger. You watched as Poe began to move across the hanger towards you, so you began to apply steady fire as to give him cover.

Locking your eyes on a fuel tank close to the storm-troopers, you leaned out even further as to get a good shot. And just as Poe dived behind the container with you, you fired. The explosion rocketed through the hanger and you ducked down as shrapnel flew throughout the large room.

As you leaned against the container, you turned your head, locking eyes with the familiar pair of brown ones.

"Poe." You said quietly, clear relief in your voice.

Poe grinned at you as he reached out, placing his hands on either side of your face "God it's good to see you." He said almost breathlessly.

You let out an amused breath, you mind flashed back to the last time you spoke, but as your eyes landed on his wounded shoulder you pushed the thoughts away.

"You got shot." You said bluntly.

Poe looked down at is shoulder and then at your own "You're one to talk."

You let out an amused scoff before you sat up "We need to get out of here."

As you began to stand all the way up, you found that your body had finally had enough. Your legs went out from under you as you began to stumble down. Poe quickly reached out, catching you.

You let out a ragged breath and mumbled under your breath "Dammit."

"Hey, hey." Poe said hurriedly, worry lacing his voice as you fell back against the container.

You felt your body growing weaker, as heat seemed to crawl up your neck, you felt an unusual sense of claustrophobia take over.

Pulling at the storm-trooper armor you mumbled "I need this off."

"Okay, here, here." Poe said as he helped you to pry off the armor.

As he did so, your wounds were revealed in full. Poe's face fell as he saw your bloodied clothes, matted to your sides. Your wrists were red and raw from your binds, and the newer wound to your shoulder was worse than he thought. He felt fear take over as he looked at your face. You were covered in sweat and you seemed to be loosing yourself.

"We need to get out of here." You mumbled as you brought your hand to your side.

Poe nodded his head "Right." Pulling a communicator out of his pocket he turned it on "Resistance ship three this is Commander Dameron, I have Y/n, meet us at the evacuation point."

"Copy that commander, resistance ship three is ready for extraction."

Poe shoved the communicator back into his pocket and leaned over to you "Put your arm around my neck."

Doing as he said, you heard a whimper leave your mouth unintentionally as you latched onto him. Gently Poe pulled you up as he wrapped his arm around you to hold you up. You could barely use your legs, but you tried your best to stand.

Looking down at BB-8 Poe nodded at him "You need to be our eyes BB-8"

BB-8 beeped a couple times before he looked at you letting out a quiet whir.

You smiled down at him "I'll be okay BB."

BB-8 whistled lowly before turning and whizzing towards the exit. You and Poe began to move towards the doors, you each had your guns in your free hands, but you were afraid you would not be able to use yours if needed.

Exiting the corridor, you heard oncoming storm-troopers, their running echoing from the nearby hall. You tried to move fast but stumbled, causing Poe to slow down. Hearing the troopers gaining on you, you let out a staggered breath.

"We're not gonna make it Poe, you need to go." You said as you pushed him away, landing against the wall.

Poe looked at you with confusion and fear "What are you talking about, come on!" He reached out for you but you shook your head.

"We're not gonna make it if you have to drag me along Poe, go! I'll cover you!"

Poe looked down the hall, hearing the troopers voices getting closer he shook his head "Like hell."

Quickly, he reached out to you, grabbing you and puling you into his arms, he pushed down the guilt that followed after you let out a cry of pain. He lifted you up into his arms and began to run as fast as he could down the corridor. BB-8 opened the doors ahead of you and lead the path to where you would escape.

You felt your body weakening as you lifted your head, you could see the Storm-troopers coming after you, even after you exited the base out into the open air. Doing what you could, you raised your arm as much as you could and fired. Unable to hit the storm-troopers, you were only able to make them stagger back a bit as the lasers struck the ground in front of them.

Just as the storm-troopers raised their guns to start firing, you felt fear rip your entire being.

"Poe" You whimpered out, closing your eyes as you heard weapons fire.

"Get in the ship!" You heard a voice call out.

Opening your eyes again, you see the storm-troopers firing at someone else, as more phaser fire came from behind you, from where Poe was running towards.

Suddenly, your surroundings changed again as Poe began to run up a ramp into a resistance ship. Past resistance fighters who covered you from the storm-troopers. As the door began to close and the ship began to rise, you felt relief flow through you. But just as you realized you were safe, you realized you had no strength left.

When Poe got further into the ship, he leaned down, setting you down in his lap. As he rested your head against him he saw your eyes beginning to glaze over as you tried to focus on his face.

"Y/n, hey, hey we're okay, we got out. You're gonna be alright." He cupped your cheek with his hand.

You tried to smile at him but you were unsure if you did. You looked into his eyes "I-I'm sorry Poe. I shouldn't have...left, like that." You were struggling to speak as you fought for breath.

"What?" He whispered out as he leaned down further "No, no Y/n it was my fault you understand? I was an idiot. I fought back my feelings for years, I should have told you sooner, Y/n, I'm sorry. I- I love you too."

'I must be dying' you thought to yourself, 'I must be hallucinating'. Seeing what you wanted most before you died. Using what strength you had, you lifted your hand and touched his face. He smiled at you, but there was desperation behind it.

"You're lying." You whispered out, smiling, not angry, not really feeling anything.

"What? No." He shook his head desperately "No I'm not lying I promise. Y/n I've loved you for years but I- I never thought you could ever love me."

Poe adjusted himself as he looked around desperately for the words he needed to make you believe him. He looked back down at you and let out a ragged breath before leaning down closer, staring into your eyes as he whispered to you "You asked me, what was it about you that wasn't good enough, but dammit Y/n, it's me that's not good enough. I've always tried to be good enough, but there is no one your equal. But I promise I will try. I'll make it up to you, if you just, stay with me."

He wasn't lying. Even through the haze taking over, you could see it. Your felt tears begin to streak down your face. Poe quickly started to wipe them away, ignore his own that begun to pool in his eyes.

"You mean it?" You whispered.

Poe nodded "I do. I promise."

You opened your mouth to speak, but as you did you felt a dark haze begin to take over as Poe began to fade from view. Trying hard to focus on him, if not for one more moment, the last thing you saw was his terrified eyes as he pulled you tighter into his arms, his voice barely audible as he called your name.

* * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * *

"I can't believe we did it." Poe said as he practically skipped down the steps "We made it into the academy can you believe it?" He laughed a he spun around looking around at the academy grounds.

You grinned at him as you watched him celebrate "Of course I can believe it."

He turned at the bottom of the steps and looked up at you as you approached him "What would you have done if you got in and I didn't?" Poe asked.

Stopping on the step in front of him you chuckled and shook your head "I'd throw the acceptance letter into the trash and tell you I didn't get in." You said honestly.

Poe grinned up at you "I'd do the same."

Stepping down next to him as you continued walking and chuckled "I know you would."

"Going here alone wouldn't be the same if it was just one of us. It wouldn't feel right." He said as his shoulder brushed yours from how close he walked next to you.

You looked down at the ground and tried to hide the heat rising up your face, unaware he was trying to hide his own.

Feeling a sudden melancholy feeling flow over you, your face fell "You know Poe. One day...something might happen. We might have to split up."

Poe suddenly stopped walking and you turned to look at him. He met your eyes and shook his head "We'd find each other again. No matter how long we're apart. What is it you used to say? When we were kids? After we promised each other we'd be together forever?" He asked as he walked up to you, looking into your eyes.

* * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * *

The memory played through your mind as though is was being read to you. And as you felt yourself start to wake up, you understood why. Poe's voice came from right next to you as he spoke quietly. He had been talking to you, reminiscing of the time you two had gotten into the academy together.

You heard him let out a small scoff "Damn. What was it you used to say? I can never remember. Never...apart. Forever- " He let out a sigh as you felt his hand squeeze your own.

"Forever together, and never apart." You whispered out, your voice just loud enough for him to hear.

Poe's eyes widened as he looked at your face, you slowly opened your eyes, watching as they fluttered as you adjusted to the light he felt a grin spread across his face.

Looking over, your eyes focused on his face as he smiled down at you.

You smiled at him "Hello."

He let out a breathy chuckle "Hi." Leaning forward a little, he brought up his hand as he stroked your head "I thought I lost you. Again."

"Hey, you know me. No matter how much trouble I get into, I always get out." You said amused, still drowsy.

"Yeah, good thing for both of us."

Blinking a few times you looked into his eyes "Poe?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you...I mean- I wasn't...imagining the things you said in the ship was I? You did say those things, right?" You spoke hesitantly, hopefully.

Poe smiled softly at you. Leaning forward he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before resting his own against yours. You closed your eyes as he did.

"Yes. I did say those things, and I meant ever word. And I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I wasted so much time."

"I don't think it was wasted." You said softly as you opened your eyes. "But either way...we have a second chance now."

Poe smiled as he locked his eyes with yours "Yeah, we do." His eyes flicked to your lips before he slowly leaned in.

His lips met yours gently, and you were surprised at how soft his lips were. You felt his fingers hook underneath your chin as he deepened the kiss.

For many years as you struggled with your feelings for Poe, you always wondered if it would feel weird. If it would feel wrong being with him. But now those questions were finally answered.

It didn't feel weird, or wrong. It felt perfect. It felt right.

Poe thought the same as he kissed you. He would hate himself forever for wasting what time he could have spent with you like this. But he was glad to finally have another chance.

You now both had a chance to redeem what had lost to time and fear. And to use this second chance to be with each other the way you always wanted. The way you both deserved.

xx End xx

I hope you liked it!!

If you did please reblog it! Thar way more people can see it (since tumblr tags are trash, half the people I want to see it never do.)

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural; @caswinchester2000Part Two Tags (for those who showed interest): @myownworldstuff, @hoeforthefictional - hope you don't mind me tagging you :)

Also, if you want to be added to a taglist for Star Wars or Poe, let me know~

#poe dameron #star wars #sw #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron/reader #oneshot #one shot #angst #part two #star wars reader insert #poe dameron/you #poe dameron x y/n #star wars oneshot #star wars one shot #poe dameron oneshot #poe dameron one shot #poe dameron x gender neutral reader #poe dameron x you #too little too late second part

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bellarosethefangirl · 3 years

Text

“I Promise To Always Be There For You” (Panacotta Fugo x Reader) 💚🍓

Summary: You’ve been friends with Fugo for a while now and intend on confessing to him. Unfortunately he’s too focused on his work. Don Giorno sent him on an independent mission. However you accidentally get involved with his mafia related work and save him. You two grow closer from the experience and become closer than ever.

Author Note: This story is an everyone lives, no one dies universe, AU. It takes place after the events of part 5. Also there’s a bit of violence in the plot. If you want more JJBA fics please let me know.

Word Count: 5.7k

You've known the strawberry blonde for months now. You're both acquaintances but you've often bumped into him at coffee shops and libraries. You happen to be in the same area as him so it doesn't come as a surprise you see him so often. He mostly keeps to himself and reads. If he isn't reading he is writing in a journal he always keeps. Since you see each other so often you both usually chat in the lines or if you're sitting nearby. He's polite and your conversations revolve around the books you two read. One time at the coffee shop you two had a discussion about your friends. Fugo told you how one of his friends hadn't heard of Edgar Allen Poe. You're surprised, sure, but you found it funny his friend thought it was a name for some sort of designer brand. You in turn told him how your bestie mistook cottage cheese for sour cream. It was a conversation that drew your friendship a bit closer.

It was always small conversations. Eventually you would find yourself talking to him often. You would always strike up the conversation with him. He was polite and didn't mind the conversations about books. You thought it was cute he'd become excited about the books he read. He always had a twinkle in his eyes when he discussed his books. You two even did book trades. Your books were fantasy based which he found amusing. Yes, you two grew to be good friends. It wasn't long before you grew feelings for him. You always thought it was odd. You enjoyed your conversations with him but you two weren't close. His gentlemanliness also attracted you. It was always small details about him you admired. How he'd place his pen against his lips, calmly grin while he read, or sigh in relief after drinking his morning coffee. There were a couple traits about him you admired most that really drew you to him. It was the understanding of having tiger parents. You mentioned how your parents didn't think your grades were good enough or how they forced you to learn how to play piano. He understood it all too well. He was also forced to learn piano. He surprised you when he told you a bit about his parents' treatment toward him. It broke your heart because they were too hard on him. You comforted him and expressed how you found that he's more than capable of setting his mind to whatever he wants to achieve. He was very appreciative of your understanding and comfort. His warm smile always melts your heart.

You knew all too well your feelings for him developed that day. In fact your feelings for him grow by the day. One day in particular your feelings for him heightened. It was the finishing blow for you. You desired to confess your feelings. What had happened was he walked you back to your apartment. You two passed a florist, she noticed you two smiling and giggling. You two happened to talk about a book you both enjoyed. The florist mistook you two for a couple. She handed Fugo a flower with a wink.

"You have a good day Romeo. I'm sure Juliet here will enjoy the flower."

His eyes widened. Yours did as well but your face was bright red. He didn't hesitate in correcting her about the relationship. The florist simply shrugged with a big smile on her face. He gave you the flower with a worrisome expression.

"Here. I doubt she'll want it back."

"Something tells me you're right." You hold the flower looking it over fondly. "Still, it's nice. We better get going." You said, not wanting to no longer be in this uncomfortable position.

After giving Fugo your goodbye you decide to plan your confession to him. There's much you respect about your dear friend so you plan to express it along with your feelings for him. You hope he'll return your feelings. You no longer want to be acknowledged as his friend. At your desk you begin writing poetry but it didn't come out as well as you planned. There was no way you could read it to him. You sighed and decided to play piano to relax. You then decide to play love songs in hopes of becoming inspired for your confession, which you did. You'll tell him before he heads to work. He always did after you two enjoyed coffee together.

The next morning you wrote down your confession to prepare yourself before expressing it to him. You felt nervous on the way to the coffee shop. You made sure your look wasn't casual. You always dress in heels and a dress but this time you put more effort in your look. You did your hair and makeup since you wanted to feel more confident. You feel they're accessories that help you relax since you enjoy doing makeup. On the way to the shop you earned a couple looks but you ignored them since you only wish for Fugo to acknowledge you: heart, mind, body, and soul. You nervously gulp before heading inside the shop. The barista didn't recognize you until you reminded them of your "usual". Surprised they immediately got started on your order. When Fugo arrived he sat at your booth. He wasn't expecting the new look but he felt it suit you since you always wear nice outfits.

"Morning Fugo." You greet him with a smile.

"Morning." He sips his expresso.

"Going to have a long day?" You noticed his drink. He only orders them when he's sure he'll have a stressful shift.

"Yes my boss expects me to help him with.. an assignment."

Truth be told, Don Giorno assigned him to a mission. He was to take care of a stand user who is killing victims throughout the empty secluded areas of the streets. Fugo would never tell you he's associated with the mafia.

"I see. I hope it isn't too stressful."

"Thanks." He took another sip of his expresso.

Fugo was always too busy with his tasks as a mafioso to pay too much attention to you. It wasn't that he isn't opposed to dating but there's a lot about himself he's afraid of showing any potential partners. He's too busy and would like a partner that would understand his schedule. Not to mention him being in the mafia adds another difficulty to dating. He views you as a friend but he does care a lot for you. He enjoys spending time with you. He's also observant and respects your reserved nature. Sharing similar problems and interests always brought him joy since he doesn't share the same qualities with his closest friends. Before he has a chance to leave for his assignment you decide to confess to him. Your bashful nature was a trait he wasn't used to. His eyes widened looking over the expression you gave him. It was loving yet careful. You didn't wish to overwhelm him.

"Fugo.. you mean a lot to me. Not only are you one of my dearest friends but I feel as though we crossed paths for other reasons. I really connect well with you which I can't say is easy. I know deep within my heart you'd be a wonderful potential date. I acknowledge this is out of nowhere but my feelings for you are very true. And-and I admire you so much. From your discussions about books to your intelligent eyes." Towards the end of your confession you begin getting bashful since his eyes widened.

You're not sure if it's a good reaction or one he is uncomfortable by. Fugo didn't see you this way but he's flattered. He didn't realize you paid so much attention to him. He thought such a confession was admirable. To think you admired his intelligence and eyes so much. He thinks you're a sweet person but there's much about himself he isn't ready to tell you therefore he isn't sure if you'd be good for him as a potential partner. He gulps as he prepares what will be a gentle let down to you.

"I understand if you don't return my feelings. I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship. It's very meaningful to me." You placed your hand on your heart with sincerity.

"Y/n..." He was speechless. Your confession was very nice but he knew he wasn't sure if you'd accept him. His background or his anger issues. His self esteem is low. He knows the answer is no. Guilt crosses his features but he gives an honest answer. "I'm sorry but I don't return your feelings.. I assure you this won't affect our friendship and I also appreciate the friendship. I'll see you tomorrow."

His sad eyes were enough for you to smile. You did feel saddened but he was kind to you as always. You nod before giving him a goodbye. He felt bad leaving you like this but he must deal with the stand user Giorno assigned him to take care of. Fugo couldn't focus after he saw the look of sadness in your eyes. He didn't know what you'd really think of him. There's much he's ashamed of. He felt as if he wasn't good enough. Guilt strikes him but then he remembers his task. He must stay focused. He'll think about you later. Better to properly think about it when he has time. He'll be endangered if he doesn't.

On the way to the secluded alleys Giorno informs him if he notices how empty they are. Rumors are the cause of it. Fifteen killings have happened in the course of two weeks. The don wanted his streets safe so he felt as though Fugo would be best to take care of the problem. As punishment the don wanted the murderous stand user dead. They were no doubt a traitor to the familia. The stand user targeted members of passione as well. The information Fugo collected was very gruesome. All the victims were either stabbed or gutted. He knew his stand would be more than capable of taking care of the user. Not much information was disclosed on the man he was after. He only knew it was a murderous traitor of the familia and that was all. He had the upper hand knowing they're a stand user. Fugo looked through the empty streets knowing the killings happened during the day time. After failing to find any information he grew frustrated. Better to try getting answers out of street thugs who may have ties to the murder.

After Fugo left for his job you decided to go for a walk to clear your head. You knew if you returned home you would be too bummed out to do anything. You felt like a walk would be exactly what you need. The sights are a beautiful view. Clearing your head was exactly what you desired. Unfortunately for you, you'd become the next target to the man lurking not too far from you. It was the murder who had an itch to kill. If his victims weren't members of Passione then he'd target young women.

You felt eyes watching you but no one was nearby. You heard of the murders going on but you didn't know you're in one of the locations they've been happening at. You sat on a wooden bench to look over the scenery as you thought to yourself. The murderous man began choosing his weapon. He pulls out two knives. Licking one as he awaits for your guard to be down. Right as he's about to leave the corner with his knife raised, he's pulled back by a strong force. No longer shadowed behind the building, Fugo can clearly see him. The male in front of him is brunette with a buzz cut, trench coat, and with a suit underneath. His eye twitches from irritation, looking over to Fugo with the intent to kill him for interrupting.

"If it isn't Passione's lapdog. The sweetheart will have to wait until I've taken care of you."

Fugo looks around. He was too busy pulling him back to notice the killer's potential victim. At the bench he saw you.

"Y/n.." He gasped. "Bastardo...!" Fugo's anger rises. "I'll kill you!"

He brought out his stand. The killer laughed, summoning his own stand. Fugo recognized him. He was part of the squads that would take care of the drug trafficking. His stand can manipulate the air around him to suffocate his victims. It's robotic-like but also bears a strange facial expression almost as if it's a crazed cartoon character.

"I take it you recognize me Fugo? I should've known the boss would've sent one of his lap dogs on me. Today I'll have the best trophy's. I'll send the don your head on a silver platter and that little babe over there will give me a nice lock of hair or maybe a finger nail won't she?"

"Shut up...!" Fugo has purple haze punch him but his opponent's stand blocked it.

"Is she your girlfriend? Oh this will be fun. So her name is Y/n you said?"

Fugo grinds his teeth. He can't allow this man to live. He'll have no problem taking care of him. The problem is he might know his abilities and use them against him. What if he tried infecting you?

"I take that as a yes."

"Of course not, idiot! If I were you I'd be more worried about my stand."

"Please. You don't scare me." He licked his knife again.

Purple hazes eyes become bloodshot as it hissed. Fugo scowls using his stand to fight. The young mafioso didn't realize his opponent had another ability. The air was becoming hard to breathe but he was also becoming dizzy.

"Call me the shadow murder. Be sure to remember it in case one of your dons boys arrives." He laughed.

Fugo looks over to his weakened stand. It's too dizzy to make a direct hit. They're both seeing doubles. Fugo sees the knife coming for him but it's hard to see what direction it's aimed for. He dodged but received a cut on his forehead. It's small but Fugo now knows the potential danger he's in. He continues getting stabbed as he hears laughing. Purple Haze couldn't land a hit since it's much too dizzy and confused. It's rapidly punching blindly. He lets out a blood curdling scream when he's stabbed in the abdomen. You heard the scream and investigated. It's then you see Fugo being faced with the murder you've heard about on the news. You must save him. You look around for a weapon. You see a dirty broken pipe. At a fence you see a chain detaching it so you could use it to choke the murder. Fugo is shocked to see the bastard getting choked by a chain after a harsh hit to his skull from a broken pipe. You aim for his most vital areas. You steal his knife, slashing him across the neck, hands, and legs. You use the chain to dig into the wound on his neck.

"Y/n no!!!" Fugo wanted to stop you but he's slowly losing consciousness. He couldn't allow himself to faint. He's too worried about your well being even if you're putting up a decent fight.

"Fugo! I'll save you!" You promised.

He hated the situation. He wished he used purple haze sooner. The murder did his best to fight you off of him but couldn't. You're standing against his lower back using your weight to pull the chain against his neck. The heaviness against his open wound caused him a lot of pain. He backs you into the wall but you have a plan B. From your chest you pull out an empty beer bottle. You smash his head with it using the remaining sharp end to slash his face. You get his eyelids and cheeks. Fortunately for you beer gets in his eyes as well. He's screaming in agony on the ground. He's on his knees with his hands over his eyes. You run over to Fugo helping him run out of the alley. Fugo is much too weak but follows. He is close to losing cautiousness. At this point he is awake from sheer will power. Walking slowly yet wobbly as you guide him with his arm over your shoulder. You two make it across the street out of the alley.

Fugo suddenly fell to his knees thanks to the stand users abilities. His leg is also bleeding out. You growl wishing your purse was lighter but you're glad it's against your hip so you can carry Fugo. You carry him in your arms as you walk as fast as you can. Your heels are sitting in your purse. Running barefoot with Fugo in your arms was very difficult. For now surviving was your first train of thought. You're sweating, fearing for your life.

Once you feel you're a safe distance you lay Fugo on the bench while you tiredly slump on the ground in front of him. You're panting and your arms are tired from carrying his weight. You're panting as you look through your purse for your first aid kit. You always kept it on you in case of an emergency. After your heels are back on your feet you look over his injuries. On his abdomen is a stab wound so you use wipes you keep in your bag to clean it up a bit. You didn't use it directly on the wound. You used gauze and tissues to try soaking up the blood. After bandaging the area you look over to his left leg that's bleeding out. You roll up his blood stained pants to reveal the ugly wound. You flinch but begin treating it. It's no wonder he limped. You used up all the gauze in your kit. It was worth it. You brought out a stapler feeling guilty for doing such a patch job. It was necessary since the bleeding was so bad. You used the remainder of your wipes on his forehead and cheek. You dabbed the areas gently. You notice a large bump on his head. You grab your thin long sleeved shirt and roll it into a pillow for his head to rest on. You notice a cup nearby with ice still inside it. You grab a sandwich bag from your purse you normally use to keep makeup in. You replaced it with ice after dumping the liquid from the cup. Sealing it back up, you place the ice bag on his injury.

"Fugo.." You said with concern.

You move a strand of hair out of his face. You then check your surroundings carefully. You hope the killer didn't follow you. You look around for a weapon and notice an empty wine bottle. You smash it creating a sharpened weapon for yourself. At such a noise it's then Fugo's friends realize what you're doing. You're ready to fight off any attacker. They know you're in trouble because of Fugo's injuries. They noticed you tending to his wounds with such care. Mista and Narancia were already wanting to tease their friend about you from the way you took care of him and looked at him. The two were sent by Giorno to look for their comrade. It was already dark outside. Mista and Narancia approach you two. It's then you face them with a surprised expression. You gasp standing up. They're concerned for Fugo so you assumed they're his friends.

"Call the authorities! We've been chased by the murder!" You're obviously startled but the two know better than to call the cops especially if they're involved.

"Look, don't worry we'll take care of him." Mista said.

"What? You?! No way! You'll get killed!"

"Not with this." Mista revealed his gun.

"The boss wants him dead so we need to finish the job now that Fugo isn't able to." Narancia said.

"You mean.. someone sent Fugo to kill that man..?"

"That's right. Didn't Fugo tell you he's a mafioso?" Mista questioned thinking you were some type of girlfriend to Fugo.

"N-no.." You look over at Fugo in shock.

"He didn't? What type of boyfriend is he? Keeping stuff from you isn't right." Mista sighed.

"Boyfriend? He isn't my boyfriend." You say with wide eyes.

"Oh we get it now. Fugo must be too nervous to confess to you." Narancia raised a brow to his unconscious friend.

"Wait till he wakes up." Mista snickers.

"Look I'm Fugo's friend and he needs help! Mafioso or not that murder is still a danger! I think he has some type of gas on him or something. He's the reason Fugo is unconscious."

"Gas? Was there anything else?" Mista asked, knowing full well his target is a stand user.

"Yes he has a huge knife. He's also six feet tall and he wears a trench coat with a suit underneath."

"We can take care of him. Why don't you get Fugo back to his place?" Narancia said.

"But will Fugo be alright? Your boss won't punish him for this will he?" You said worriedly.

"Don't worry he's friends with the boss." Mista laughed.

You sighed in relief before telling them to be careful. When they left you picked Fugo back up to get him back to his apartment. It wasn't long before Fugo awoke in your arms. You were almost there when he awoke. He was shocked but stood up. He felt guilty having you carry him. He was also bashful being so close to you in such a vulnerable state. His leg hurt as did his head. You're by his side helping him.

"I can't believe you carried me. What happened?"

"Fugo, it was awful. I did manage to fight him off but he did a number on you! I had to use staples to close the wound on your leg. I'm not sure if he chased me but he won't be bothering us anymore."

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you had to kill him."

"No Fugo. All I did was get beer in his eyes. Your associates from the mafia came by after I was done dressing your wounds. They said the boss sent them since it was late."

"H-how did-" He had a feeling they told you about his task and position in Passione. He sighed.

"Don't worry Fugo I don't think less of you but I do have a lot of questions. It'll have to wait until later. We need to get you back home."

Fugo noticed you're both not too far from his apartment. He was surprised you did all this for him. He appreciated it. He found himself smiling as you helped him across the street. He pulled his key from his pocket and handed it to you. Once inside his living room you lay him on the couch. You notice his forehead is bleeding again. Fugo noticed you're worried. He was about to wipe it off with his sleeves but you use your handkerchief to wipe the blood off. He saw how gently you took care of the spot.

"Y/n I'm sorry I put you through all this trouble. I left you there to get killed.."

"It's not your fault. I know that man is the reason you went unconscious. I smelled the gas he used. It was odd I still have no idea when he used it. Look how injured you were."

"But you came to help me. I should've taken care of that bastardo.."

"I can protect myself, Fugo. You saw for yourself."

"I'm still surprised you managed to fight him off. You caught him off guard. Good thinking."

"Of course. Murders tend to stay focused on their victims. I'm glad I saw the beer bottle when I did or we would have both been in trouble."

"Thank you, Y/n. I wish I could've helped."

"Like I said, it's not your fault."

"Still.. I was helpless to the situation. I let my rage blind me.. he kept threatening to kill you. I lose myself when I get angry.."

"I understand. I would've been pissed if someone threatened my friends too." You say in front of him on the ground.

His injuries prevent him from sitting on the couch. He's in too much pain. You felt hurt addressing yourself as his friend once more. Fugo looks over to you with eyes filled with admiration. He can see all you've said in your confession is nothing else but the truth.

"Are you really in the mafia? That was the last thing I'd ever expect from you."

"Yes it's a long story.." He said in shame.

"I know you must have your reasons. I'd never judge you Fugo. You're my friend, I'll always be there for you."

He saw in your eyes how hurt you are by addressing him as your friend. He feels emptiness and a huge twinge of guilt. He also saw the truth to your words. He felt that perhaps you really were a good match for him. He felt like a fool not accepting your beautiful confession earlier. He was jumping to conclusions. Your kindness and understanding always warmed his heart. Only one thing prevents him from accepting your feelings. He must know your answer. His mouth becomes dry but he ignores it for your sake. If you can do all that you did today then he can share his dark past with you.

"Y/n... I need to tell you why I'm a mafioso so you understand.. It all started when I was in university. I was only a child when my professor tried forcing himself on me. I had so many mixed emotions and suppressed feelings of anger from my life. My parents were always hard on me, you know this but I also felt much more that very day when my former professor tried to touch me.. I felt betrayed.. traumatized, and angry. I was so angry at all I've been through at such a young age.. I was also angered that the old man would do such a terrible act towards me. A child at the time. I beat him with a book until he was dead.. my parents bailed me out of jail but I was on my own in the streets ever since.." He looked away in shame, closing his eyes.

You place a hand on his own with tears forming in your eyes. You didn't realize he'd been through so much. You understood completely. Your parents put too much over your shoulders. You can only imagine what they'd expect if you were in college as only a child. Then there's his awful professor.

"I understand. You did it in both self defense and anger. My parents were also hard on me Fugo but more importantly that awful man tried touching you. You were a vulnerable child. I wish I could've been there for you. I would've protected you and I most certainly would've helped. Your parents failed to be there for you. It breaks my heart to hear you've been through so much."

He was shocked by your response. The only other people who were so understanding and compassionate were his friends. Tears filled his eyes as he looked over to you. He saw tears of your own. He can see you're true to your word again. It broke your heart he was hurting so much. The understanding in your eyes was as clear as day. He felt overwhelmed with emotions. He looked away again but you didn't let him. You grab his face.

"Fugo, I would never judge you. I know it must've taken a lot for you to open up about this. You joined the mafia to survive didn't you? Growing up in these streets isn't the childhood you deserved. I'm glad you made friends in the mafia too. Like them, I'll be here for you too."

"Y/n.." He said with a tearful smile.

You wipe his tears. He then grabs your hand, surprising you a bit when he leans into your touch. He was quiet as he shed more tears. When he opens his eyes they're filled with love for you.

"Y/n I was a fool.. I shouldn't have refused your confession. I see you're more than worthy. I should've seen your heart for what it was sooner. I was so distracted with my inner turmoil.. It led me to being blind to seeing you for who you are. I know I don't deserve you but will you be mine?"

"Fugo you really mean it?"

"Yes I mean every word. Please forgive me.. I promise to always be there for you."

"Yes of course Fugo. It's as I said. I understand." You lay your head against his shoulder not wanting to overstep your boundaries now that you know how his professor tried touching him.

He placed a hand on your head digging his fingers in your hair while he leaned his head against your own. He was thankful you didn't hug him. He wouldn't have mined a hug from you but he still has a hard time allowing himself to be hugged. You two stayed in this position for some time. Fugo didn't want you leaving his side. He hasn't been comforted in such a manner in all his life. To be comforted by his partner was another feeling. Love swelled in his heart at the light affection.

"Fugo. You still have your injuries. I'll take you to get your injuries checked out in the morning. Do you need help to your bedroom?"

"Thank you. I'm fine here. I'm too tired to move." He wanted to ask if you could stay but he was too embarrassed to ask.

"Would you like me to stay?"

"Yes. I will need help in the morning and I don't want you walking at night by yourself."

"I'll sleep on the recliner over there." You point for his tired eyes.

"Perfect. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, tesoro." You respond bashfully.

He blushed at such a pet name. He didn't want to show you his bashfulness so he simply played it off as if he was sleepy. You turn off the light falling quickly asleep on the recliner. You're too tired to care about makeup or wearing a dress to sleep. The next morning you cleaned yourself up in Fugo's bathroom before waking him. He seemed a bit better but his injuries still remained. Fugo contacted his friends on the phone while you prepared breakfast. During the call he was informed that Mista and Narancia were able to get rid of the murder. They were surprised you did so much damage to the killer. When all was discussed about his well being and the traitor, they turned their conversation to you thanks to Mista and Narancia.

"You never told us about a girl, buddy!" Narancia teased.

"Yeah, what's her name? She's totally into you!" Mista chuckled mischievously.

"Is that true? It was a girl who did all that for you? Surely she isn't only a friend." Bruno said.

Fugo can practically see them smirking. Abbacchio and Giorno are more surprised than anything. They were under the impression the friend who saved him was a close male acquaintance and nothing more. Not a girl willing to risk her neck for him.

"Wait so your friend was this girl? The same friend who carried you and tended to your injuries?" Abbachio questioned with a sigh. "You're one idiota."

"Fugo I believe we are all wondering a lot about this girl." Giorno said in an amused tone.

Fugo became extremely embarrassed yet angry at all the teasing. He knew he wouldn't hear the end of it. Suddenly a loud thud was heard in the kitchen followed by a feminine voice calling out a sorry.

"She's at your place?! No way!!" Mista said dramatically.

"Whoa so that's what you meant by 'friend' didn't you?" Narancia voices a surprise.

"It's not what you think..!" Fugo tried correcting the assumption that they're friends with benefits.

"I should've known." Said Abacchio, voice laced with amusement.

"Tesoro, where is the salt? I thought you said it's in the cabinet above the stove?" You ask for all his friends to hear.

Fugo knows for a fact he'll have to introduce you to them. They all stay silent, eager to hear more from you.

"I think it's on the table." He responds.

"Oh okay. Thanks, I hope I didn't interrupt your call."

"You weren't!" Answered Narancia.

"We hope we weren't interrupting you two!" Mista spoke next.

You giggled, the innuendo going over your head.

"You're both okay! I recognize your voices from last night."

"Yeah he was an easy opponent." Narancia said.

"You sure did a number on him." Mista said.

"Oh you saw.. He was trying to kill Fugo. He left me no choice."

"Well we need to go now. I still need to see a doctor." Fugo sighed.

All his friends on the speaker gave him a teasing farewell. You on the other hand thought it was cute how much he blushed at such teasing. Sparing him more embarrassment, you head back to the kitchen. After breakfast and taking Fugo to a doctor you both returned to your normal schedules only now it was a bit different. Fugo would pick you up from your place and walk you to the coffee shops and libraries.

Weeks went by and his friends couldn't wait to see you so they made an excuse to give you both a ride while their don "required" to talk business with him. They saw you two holding hands. The greeting was one Fugo was not prepared for as all his friends were revealed when the windows lowered in the limousine. The poor strawberry blonde received nothing but an earful of teasing the entire car ride.

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