#I truly hope it flops like everything else they touch deserves to flop

[norringtondeservestheworld]

Next week will be released on Netflix "3 Body Problem" and I'm here to remind you all this series is made and created by not only the two most incompetent writers in the world, but also by two misogynists who wrote rape scenes even when it wasn't needed by the plot, find incest sexy and hot and tried multiple times to romanticize it, have zero respect for their actors seeing them as parrots who are there only to repeat the words they wrote for their characters and are so narcissists that they compared themselves to God.

I'm not going to say don't watch it because everyone should do what they want with their free time, just be aware that THESE are the people you are going to support by watching the series.

[wrenhyperfixates]

We Make a Pretty Good Team

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: It’s game night at the Avengers Tower, and you find the perfect partner in Loki. Warnings: ‘tis but fluff A/N: Just another self-indulgent, fluffy story. Hope you enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02​​ @frostedgiant​​ @lunarmoon8​​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​​ @lokistan​​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​​ @gaitwae​​ @whatafuckingdumbass​​ @castiels-majestic-wings​​ @kozkaboi​​ @cozy-the-overlord​​ @birdgirl90​​ @myraiswack​​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

“First Saturday of the month. You know what that means,” Tony hollered to the Avengers scattered about the Tower.

“Yes!” Thor boomed. “Be prepared to lose.”

“Funny,” Clint laughed with a roll of his eyes. “I was just about to say the same thing to you.”

“What is happening?” you asked, somewhat bewildered, as the heroes came into the room. “What’s significant about Saturday?”

“Oh my gosh, that’s right. You just missed the last one. Every first Saturday of the month we have a game night,” Nat explained.

You’d been part of the team for just under a month, having officially joined on a Sunday. So, it was true that you’d yet to experience their apparently traditional game night. It sounded like a great deal of fun, though, especially because the Avengers had become your second family in the short time you’d known them. Well, you’d actually known Nat and Clint for years, since you all worked for SHIELD. In fact, they were a huge part of the reason you were an Avenger now. A few months ago there was a particularly dangerous crime ring, and they’d specifically requested you as backup. You’d clicked with everyone immediately and, numerous transfer papers later, here you were.

“Sounds exciting!” you told them. “What are we playing first?”

“Well actually,” Bruce said kind of sheepishly, “it’s not that I want you to sit out, but they’re all team games, and we don’t have an even number of people.”

“So we have a team of three,” Nat said, as if it were obvious.

“No way. That’s unfair,” Tony argued.

You bit your lip, feeling like maybe you were intruding on something you shouldn’t be a part of. It was their thing, after all, and perhaps there was simply no room for a newcomer. As they continued to bicker about whether one larger team mattered or not, you considered just slipping away. That’s when you noticed that there was someone missing.

“What about Loki?” you said. “He would make the numbers even.”

Much to your surprise, everyone burst out laughing. You nervously ran your sweaty palms on the legs of your pants and let out a small laugh, though you weren’t quite sure at what. Once their cackling died down, you dared to ask what was so funny.

“My brother never attends these games nights,” Thor informed you. “He isn’t one for group activities, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“Well, have you ever invited him?”

“Once or twice,” Tony said. “Listen, if you want to try to make a social butterfly out of Reindeer Games, be my guest. In the meantime, we’ll work out a feasible way for us all to play.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed a little, standing up to go find Loki. It was honestly ridiculous that they still treated him the way they did. Sure, he likes to be alone sometimes, but that doesn’t mean he likes being lonely. Not that he’d ever actually admitted to you that he was, but you knew. It was blatantly obvious in the way he sent longing glances toward the rest of the team when you gathered together. You always made sure to ask him over, an invitation he usually accepted. Everyone else had laughed the first time you’d done that, too. They’d only ever asked him a few times, and it was right when he was new and still so lost, so alone, so afraid. Why they took that to just be his permanent disposition, you didn’t know. Regardless of how insensitive they were to his situation, your inclusivity had brought Loki out of his shell a bit, and a friendship had blossomed between you.

A short walk later, you reached his door. You stretched out a hand, but hesitated to knock. Doubt gnawed at the back of your mind. Maybe he truly was not a fan of board games, and then you’d be interrupting his night. After all, he must have a tradition of his own if this happens every first Saturday. Still, you knew that was usually not the case, and steeled yourself against the uncertainty.

“Hello, my little mortal,” he greeted you, opening the door. “Is everything alright?”

“No.”

“What is it? Are you ill? Hurt?” he questioned, jumping into action and shepherding you to his couch.

“No, nothing like that,” you laughed, though you were touched by his concern. “It’s just that it’s game night, and we don’t have an even number of people.”

“Oh? And I suppose that you are asking me to join,” he mused as you nodded. “I am not usually invited, and I am notorious spoiled sport, just ask Thor.”

“Well, people say a lot of things about you, and they’re usually not true.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t have to play if you really don’t want to, but will you? Please. For me?”

“For you, my little mortal, anything. After all, how can I resist those puppy dog eyes?”

You giggled and led the way out of his room, ignoring the thumping of your heart when his hand accidentally brushed yours. Nat and Tony were still bickering about the teams when you arrived, but were quickly stunned into silence when they saw Loki.

“Brother! Good to see you’ve decided to join,” Thor greeted, breaking the somewhat awkward silence. “Shall we begin then?”

First up was Cranium, and you could tell that everyone else was divided into their usual teams: Tony and Bruce, Clint and Nat, Thor and Steve. You rubbed your hands in excitement, ready for some friendly competition.

“Yes!” you shouted a while later, after you and Loki answered the final question right. “We win!”

Everyone else’s jaw hung open, shocked by how serious of a competitor you were. Not to say you were mean-spirited or gloated or anything, but it was obvious you took game night very seriously. Loki was a little surprised too, but he relished in the infectious energy of your feisty spirit. Not to mention he absolutely loved to be on the winning team.

“Congratulations, guys,” Steve said. “Don’t expect to get as lucky in the next game, though.”

The next game, apparently, was charades, which you and Loki absolutely dominated again. The two of you worked as a well-oiled machine, guessing the simple ones like sewing and the more obscure ones like whale watching with ease. Loki was also surprisingly knowledgeable about Midgardian movies and literature. The two of you high fived, having just edged out the competition.

“Wow, good job guys,” Nat congratulated. “Tony and Bruce usually win that one.”

“Way to rub it in,” Tony groaned, flopping back on the couch.

You could tell a part of him wanted to accuse Loki of cheating but, having no real evidence and not wanting to start a fight, restrained himself. Instead, he contented himself with just mumbling how much of an outrage it was. You, however, were on cloud nine.

As the next game was set up, Loki pulled you onto his lap, instilled with confidence after his latest wins. Of course, if anyone were to ask, he would just say he was saving room on the couch. It would have, though, been a lie.

“Ready for a clean sweep, my little mortal?” he whispered, his breath surprising cold on your ear.

“Bring it on!” you whispered back with a wink.

The last game of the night was Pictionary, and by now everyone knew you and Loki were the team to beat. Unfortunately for them, you got this win, too. The Avengers let out a collective sigh as you shouted a victorious whoop and hugged Loki.

“Good game everyone,” you said, starting to help clean up.

“What are you doing, my little mortal?” Loki questioned, half joking. “Do you not know the losers have to clean up?”

“Not sure that’s actually a rule, Rock of Ages,” Tony grumbled.

“Fine, I’ll help,” he replied, placing a singular piece back in the box. “There. Now it is time for our victory lap.”

Then he scooped you up bridal style using his superhuman strength and began running you around the Tower in his arms, both laughing the whole time. He finally brought you to a stop on the balcony of his room.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?” you said, still chuckling.

“Perhaps. But we deserved that after an excellent showing.”

“I guess so. As much as it pains me to admit it, we should probably go easy on them next time. We’ll just win one a night, ok?”

“That’s my little mortal,” he happily sighed, wrapping his arms around you. “Always looking out for others. Always looking out for me. Thank you for inviting me along tonight.”

“No problem. It was a lot of fun. We make a pretty good team.”

“Indeed.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, and you rested against Loki, whose arms were still wrapped around you. He felt more relaxed and happy than he had in a while. He knew he’d ask you out someday, but right now he was still too shy, this friendship still too new. One day he would, though, and he couldn’t wait to get there and to every day after.

[dameronology]

best friend {javier pena x reader}

summary: after finally calling it a day on a bad relationship, you turn to javier for comfort

warnings: mentions of alcohol + smoking, swearing

i was listening to best friend by rex orange county when i was writing this so i guess it’s loosely based on it? it’s definitely where the title came from. i hope you enjoy!

- jazz

Javier hated pulling all nighters - he especially hated them when it was Friday. Everyone else at the office was either going out to drink or going home to spend the evening with their families. The sounds of music and laughter that surrounded the outside of the DEA offices only acted as a reminder of how lonely he’d become; because, even if Colombia was the source of much of his grief, for others, it was their home. Their happiness and their life. Both of which, these days, seemed to be things he struggled to find

That wasn’t to say that his life completely lacked enrichment. Between the antics of you and Murphy, and the progress you were all making towards capturing Escobar, things weren’t all that bad. Especially you. He didn’t entirely know what your presence in his life meant, but it was a hell of lot. It felt like he’d finally started to see his life in colour when you were assigned the desk beside his. Your energy and your wit enriched everything, even if 99% of your relationship consisted of taking swipes at one another, 

If there was one thing he was grateful on nights like these, it was that the DEA apartment building wasn’t too far from the office. Murphy had clearly gotten home hours ago, because his car was in his spot and the lights to his unit at the front of the complex were dimmed. Your own vehicle was a few spaces over from Javi’s, terribly parked (as per usual) and barely between the white lines. At least he could take comfort in the fact that both his friends had made it home safe.

Or, you’d at least made it the front steps of the building. 

Javier almost did a double take when he saw you, a half-burnt cigarette in one hand and a completely empty bottle of wine in the other. You were slumped against the railings, eyes glued to the floor in front of you. He knew had it been a rough week - there had been a lot of bloodshed and not a lot of progress - but he hadn’t realised it had been that bad. And you would have told him, right? You told him everything. Literally everything. Probably more than you told your own damn boyfriend (who he hated - not that it was important). 

‘Jesus.’ Javi didn’t bother to offer you a greeting. 

You looked up at a him, a hazy smile playing on your face when your eyes met. ‘Agent Pena! How are you doing?’

‘You never call me that. I hate it.’ He muttered, dropping onto the stairs beside you. ‘Please don’t tell me you drove home like this.’

‘God, no.’ You snorted. ‘I drove home then went to a bar with Tom.’

‘How is he?’

‘Him? Yeah, we broke up.’ You casually shrugged. ‘So then I brought some wine and realise I left my keys.’

‘Oh, honey.’ Javi murmured. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t give me that, Jav.’ You elbowed him slightly. ‘I know you hated him.’

‘Guilty as charged.’

Javier stood up, moving the bottle aside and sticking his hand out to you. He didn’t exactly relate to what you were going through. Mostly because he didn’t get into relationships, or that he was always the one to end them. He hadn’t really known heartbreak in the conventional sense. Sure, he’d felt a pang in his chest when you first introduced him to your now ex just over a year ago, but that wasn’t loss. It was just..something he didn’t want to think about. It was a can of worms he’d been pretty good at keeping shut, and he was not going to start sorting through it at 1AM. He was far from drunk (unlike some people) but hours and hours of paperwork and chain smoking had fogged his brain. Right then, you needed a friend, and that was something he could be. Though you hadn’t shared all that much emotion together - mostly just careless banter and harmless teasing - your jobs had bonded you for life. You’d certainly witnessed a lot of twisted things, and it meant that you and Murphy were the only two people in the world who truly understood the kind of thing he dealt with. And, with all due respect to Murphy, you got on Javi’s nerves a fuck ton less. 

You tangled your fingers with his, letting him drag you up off the steps. Stumbling for a moment, you gripped onto his shirt for balance. It felt like somebody had taken a baseball bat to your head and to your stomach. Whether you wanted to chunder or faint first, you didn’t know. The only thing you could think about was the warm arms wrapping around your waist, and the feeling of Javier’s body being flush against yours as he pulled you against his side and guided you into the building. 

‘Where do you think you left your keys?’ He gently asked. He didn’t say anything when you slumped further against him, all your energy staying solely on walking and not falling. 

‘Thabar.’ You murmured.

‘Huh?’

‘The bar.’ You repeated. ‘I’ll go back in the morning. It’s fine.’

‘I don’t think you’ll be awake before midday.’ Javi chided. 

He held you there for a moment, fumbling about for his own keys, before kicking open the apartment door.

His place wasn’t bad, but it didn’t feel that far off of a show apartment, or the window of an Ikea. It was identical to yours, except you’d actually made yours homier. Javi’s, meanwhile, looked exactly as it had the day he’d moved in. None of the furniture had moved, and the television had probably been turned on a total of twice. Whilst your place was covered in photos and personally belongings, his was filled with bottles of whiskey and strewn leather jackets. He did have one photo hanging on his fridge; it was a Polaroid of him, you and Murphy, chilling out at your favourite bar. You were in the middle of them, practically hanging off their arms with a grin on your face. Javier would never let either of you actually know how much you meant to him. He couldn’t deal with the teasing. 

The next few moments were a blur of you dropping onto his sofa, hitting the leather with a thump. He tossed a warm blanket over you, before helping you kick off your shoes and taking a seat beside you. With the alcohol making you more brazen than usual, you didn’t think twice about curling against his side, and Javier didn’t think twice about letting you. He knew better than anyone that sometimes, a hug was the best medicine - so, he tossed an arm over your shoulders, pulling you towards him in a similar manner to how he had done in the hallway. The smell of his aftershave was gentle, mixed with a faint smell of cigarettes and the mint hand cream he insisted he didn’t use. It was just...Javi. And you loved it. 

‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ Javi gently asked, thumb rubbing circles over the bare skin on your arm.

‘I dunno what there is to say.’ You murmured. ‘I saw it coming. I definitely saw it coming but I just...I thought he was it you know. I mean, you probably don’t know because the one for you is whiskey and cigarettes-’

‘- is this an attack on me or your ex?’ He joked. 

‘Right, sorry.’ You peered up at him through hooded eyes. ‘Just hurts, y’know? Because for all his flaws, he’s probably as good as I’m ever gonna get.’

‘That’s bullshit and you know it.’ He reminded you. ‘That man never deserved you.’

‘He wasn’t that bad, Jav.’

‘Remember all the times you were in a bad mood because he was late, or because he didn’t turn up to a date?’ His brown eyes flickered, staring at the blank wall ahead. He didn’t mean to overstep, or to be protective, but it was just that it you. And that was reason enough. 

‘He was trying his best.’

‘If that’s his best, then he’s in trouble.’ He snorted. 

You groaned, flopping further down into his chest. ‘It’s hopeless. I’m hopeless. I don’t need a man to survive but maybe thats why I get through them so quickly.’

‘You’re not the problem.’ Javi said. 

‘My mum always said I was too much to handle-’

‘-  you’re not.’ He cut you off. ‘If they think you’re too much, then they’re not worth your time.’

‘There’s seven billion people on the planet. There must be someone, right?’

‘You don’t need to find somebody. You’re more than enough on your own.’ He said. (What he meant to say was: you don’t need to find somebody, but it’s okay if you want me). 

‘I know.’ You murmured. 

A silence fell over you. Javier wasn’t entirely sure what to say, because every time he tried to go over the possibilities, it kept ending with him declaring that he was the one you should be with. It made sense logistically. 

You didn’t like to be looked after, but you always let him. You both had the same job, so you both understood the struggle. The spark between you two was fucking immense and there was always something to talk about. It was hard to find a single reason not to be together - except for timing. And timing was kind of everything, especially when there was so much at stake. How much of it you needed, he didn’t know. That wasn’t even calculating in the fact that it would take Javier at least thirty more cycles of convincing himself to tell you before he finally took the plunge. 

‘Thank you for helping me tonight.’ You sleepily mumbled. 

‘Always.’ Javier replied. 

‘I’m trying not to fall asleep on you-’

‘- go ahead.’ He cut you off with a soft chuckle. 

‘I appreciate you.’ 

That was the last thing you managed, before sleep completely overtook you. This was new ground for your friendship - physical touch, deep conversations, Javi teetering dangerously close on the precipice of enlightening you with his feelings. The bottom could even have the best landing ever, or the worst. Was it worth the risk? 

Javi peered down at you, completely enamoured at the sight of you quietly snoozy, hand splayed out on his chest and eyes screwed shut. This could be an everyday thing. Domesticity and closeness and you. He could feel his chest physically hurting at the feeling; at the prospect of having you. Like, actually having you. 

He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, brown eyes flickering up to the ceiling. That was when he knew in his very soul, the answer to that question.

You were worth every risk.

[amor-immortalem]

Can I Stay Up Here With You Forever ch. 3

Previous

Warnings: Implied sex

“So, what were ya gonna make for dinner?”

“Stir fry... unless you’d rather have something different,” Her green eyes peer at Mammon over the other side of the refrigerator door. “I don’t mind if you want something different. We can always have it tomorrow.”

“No that’s fine,” The demon nods. “Ya want me to help?”

“Sure,” Arella started placing the ingredients on the counter. “You can start by slicing up the mushrooms, the peppers and the scallions.” She started to get out the pans she’d need before going to wash her hands. “I’ll start with the meat.”

He nodded as he washed his hands and began with the task given to him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So how did you enjoy it?” The pair were cleaning up after their meal.

“It was good. I think I didn’t cut the peppers thin enough though,” The demon answers as he dries up one of pans that were used.

“They were still good though,” Arella shut the water off and drained the sink. “They weren’t undercooked so it all turned out fine.”

“Coulda been crunchier though... Either way, ‘snot like it was bad...” Mammon started putting away the dry dishes into their proper places.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong there. I probably could have fried all the veggies a little longer, but this is the first time I’ve ever made stir fry on my own so I didn’t want to burn them. Anyway, you want to watch a movie after this?”

“Sure, although...” The demon trailed off, “Never mind. A movie is perfect.”

“Was there something else you wanted to do instead?”

“Yeah, a little...”

“What did you want to do then?” She moves to cage him against the counter, her hands placed over his. “I think we’re far past the point of you being shy about what you really want, baby boy...”

“I...” the demon closes his eyes and inhales as she presses against him just right almost as if she was trying to tease him, “Don’t tease.” Mammon pushes the smaller human back against the island behind her, looming over her.

“Is that what I’m doing?” She asks playfully, winding her arms around his neck. “I couldn’t tell... What are you going to do to me if I don’t?” The human bites her lip at the growl he lets out, hooking a leg around his hips to pull him closer while she continued to tease him with quick, soft touches over his body. He’s so easy to rile up.

The Avatar of Greed’s response is only a rush of hungry kisses that leave his human breathless by time he pulls away. They stare into each other’s eyes as they catch their breath for a short while before Arella pulls him toward the bedroom.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She scrolled through her human world social media the next morning as she ran a hand through her boyfriend’s hair while he slept with his head on her chest. He’d probably be out for another hour or two at least, but Arella was more than content to just lay here and snuggle. She flipped through both local news and news from England after she’d caught up on all her socials, receiving a text from her childhood friend, Aubrie.

Aubrie: Reeeeeeeeelllllllssssss

Aubrie: How’s REDACTED?

Arella: REDACTED? Lmao

Arella: Aubrie you make it sound like my address is the location of one of those SCP files you love to read about online.

Aubrie: Well you won’t tell me where you moved to so...

Aubrie: Anywho

Aubrie: how was the move? Is your new house set up yet? Can I come visit you at some point? When are you going back to the Devildom?

Arella: The move went fine and yeah, if youre that dead set on visiting then fine you can come under the condition that the address doesn’t get back to Lucifer in anyway shape or form.

Arella: And I don’t know when or if I’m even going back at this point

Aubrie: Why can’t I tell Lucifer? Did you do something the last time you were down there?

Arella: No, nothing of the sort

Arella: Its just... I told you about how Lucifer and his brothers treat Mammon right? Like he’s the scum of the devildom and they’re always degrading him or accusing him of things he didn’t do with no proof. How Lucifer gives him punishments that sometimes aren’t deserved

Aubrie: Yeah but I thought you’d had a talk with his brothers about that?

Arella: I did but after a month everything reverted back to how it used to be...

Arella: to make matters worse Mammon ended up breaking his elbow after he and Lucifer got into scuffle over a bloody credit card bill yesterday.

Aubrie: wut

Aubrie: Is he alright?

Arella: He’s fine now.

Arella: Solomon was able to heal his arm and then I summoned him up here with me. Honestly the way he talks sometimes he sounds like a dv victim whose too afraid to leave his abusers. Either that or he’s apologizing it away and I can’t stand seeing him like that.

Arella: So I hope that without his brothers around, he’ll be able to decide if he’s truly happy with them or not. I know he loves them more than anything but... idk you can love someone without sacrificing your own happiness you know? And when his brothers talk to or treat him the way they do, he just looks so hurt after.

Aubrie: Yeah I understand. I hope you guys get that all sorted out then. I’ll talk to you later. I have start getting ready for work.

Aubrie: Bye Rells

Arella: good bye Aubrie.

Arella set her phone on the nightstand as the demon resting on her chest began to stir.

“Well, good morning, Sleepyhead. How did you sleep last night?” The human chuckles as Mammon on buries his face into her chest.

“I slept pretty good- better than I have in the last few days. Thanks.” He reply was only slightly muffled before sitting up and stretching. “What about you?”

“I slept great. You certainly did enough to tire me out last night.”

“Who were ya texting?”

“It was just Aubrie. Sorry, did the sound of the vibrations wake you?” She sits up as he shakes his head.

“No I was just waking up while you started texting. I just wanted to lay there a bit longer... I’m hungry, you want breakfast?”

“Yeah, breakfast sounds great,” She moves to grab his shirt from last night off the floor but the soreness in her thighs and hips stop her as she lets out a soft groan.

“I can make it don’t worry. Just stay in bed and rest for now. Yer gonna have to settle for eggs though...”

“Eggs are perfect, Dear.” Arella sighs as she flops over onto her side and Mammon kisses her cheek.

He climbs off the bed and slips on his boxers from the previous night. He’d have time to get his suitcase from the front room and put the clothes away later, but now is time for food.

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Next

Find more on my masterlist

[robinrunsfiction]

It’s A Love Story - Part 2

Part 1

When Saturday arrived, (YN) had been so excited for her and Mikey’s birthday party, but the noise had been going on for what felt like ages and she needed a break. It wasn't like many people were talking to her, apparently Gerard's threats were even more intimidating with him in the corner keeping an eye on everything as their mom left him to chaperone while she stayed up in her bedroom, away from the teenagers. 

(YN) slipped away to her room, flopping back onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling when she heard a knock on the door frame. She sat up with a start and found Frank looking amused in the doorway.

"Avoiding your own party?" He asked.

"And I'll cry if I want to, or however the song goes. I dunno how Mikey got all of the outgoing genes in like the entire family. It's not really fair."

Frank laughed and nodded. "You and Gee do have that in common."

(YN) nodded. "You can come in ya know."

"I dunno what rules your mom has about boys in your bedroom," he said, padding across the floor to sit next to her.

"Oh you know you only got Gee and Mikey to be scared of," she replied, shaking her head. "What brings you up here anyway?"

"I got you a present," he said.

"Really?" (YN)'s eyes lit up and a grin formed on her face.

"Yea, umm, here," he said, pulling a small box out of his jacket pocket.

(YN) stared at it for a moment before carefully unwrapping it. Inside was a necklace with a blue sapphire charm. "Oh wow," she whispered.

"The lady at the store said it was your birthstone, but I didn't know if you'd like it," he trailed off with a shrug.

"I love it, it's so pretty!" She said, throwing her arms around him in a hug. "Thanks Frank."

"Of course, happy birthday (YN)," he replied, returning the hug.

"I'm gonna guess you didn't get Mikey the same thing?" (YN) laughed as she put the necklace on. 

Frank laughed. "Nah, I got him a CD," Frank replied before pausing, seemingly lost in thought. "It's kinda shitty how him and Gee scared off all the guys from you."

(YN) sighed. "I just wish they would have asked me how I felt about it first. But," she paused, drawing up every ounce of courage she could find, "as long as the guy I like keeps talking to me, it's fine."

Frank nodded before his eyes went wide and (YN) couldn’t help but laugh a little at the realization that had clearly just hit him. 

"And I seem to be the only guy that's ever talking to you."

"So that would mean," she trailed off, her cheeks burning.

"For real?"

"Yea, sorry," she replied, wrinkling her nose.

"No, no that's not what I meant. I mean, I like you too, (YN)."

She was surprised, but couldn’t help but grin. "It's dangerous to have a crush on me, ya know."

"I like to live dangerously," he smirked, and (YN) had to keep from melting on the spot as the air hung thick between them. 

"So what do we do now?" She asked softly.

“Well, I really wanna kiss you," he said, sliding closer to her, his hand on top of hers.

“Gee and Mikey will kill you,” she whispered as they started to lean in together.

“Then I’ll die happy," he whispered back.

“See you at your funeral,” she replied as Frank reached up and touched her cheek gently before closing the distance between them. Their lips met and (YN) had to try not to sigh, it was everything she had hoped it would be. 

When they pulled back, Frank was smiling like she'd never seen before. "Was that good?" She asked.

Frank furrowed his brow in confusion. "Yea, it was really good. Wait, was that your first kiss?"

(YN) nodded and bit her lip, her cheeks going pink again. "Yea."

A smile spread across Frank's face. "You wanted me to be your first kiss?"

"Duh," she laughed lightly. "Is that weird?"

"No, it's," Frank looked like he was trying to find the words to describe what he was feeling. "Fucking awesome," he finally replied.

(YN) smiled and shook her head, before looking down at the necklace she was now wearing. "Thanks for making this a really memorable birthday."

"You deserve it," he nodded. 

"We should probably go back downstairs before someone comes looking for us, or starts to suspect something."

"Yea," Frank agreed. "We'll talk soon about… us?"

"Sounds like a plan," (YN) nodded.

Frank leaned in, giving her another quick kiss before getting up and leaving her room.

(YN) sighed and flopped back on her bed again before letting out a squeal of utter glee.

~

The following week of school felt like the longest of (YN)'s life, all she wanted was for it to be Friday night. She and Frank had decided they were going to skip the weekly movie night with her brothers and Ray, and instead have their first date. When Friday evening finally arrived, (YN) couldn't get out of the house quick enough. 

"(YN) are you still in for movie night?" She heard Mikey ask behind her. She froze, wincing, hand inches from the doorknob.

"Oh, no sorry," she replied, turning to face her brother. "I'm going to Marie's, she's having some boy problems and wanted someone to talk to."

"Oh," Mikey shrugged.

"What's going on?" Gerard asked, walking into the living room.

"Guess it's just us and Ray tonight," Mikey explained.

"Where are you going?" Gerard asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Marie's. No Frank?" She asked, trying to remain inconspicuous.

"He said he's not feeling good, stomach thing," Gerard explained.

(YN) nodded. "That sucks... Well, I'll see ya later," she said before hurrying out the door, afraid they'd somehow see through her lies.

The walk to Frank's house was quick, she'd made it countless times before, but never before in this context, which added an extra spring to her step. By the time she arrived at the door, her heart was pounding.

"Hey," he said, immediately pulling her into a hug when she walked in. "I ordered a pizza a little bit ago, is that cool?"

"Yea, of course," she nodded before kicking off her shoes and dropping her purse by the door. "Umm, so did you tell your mom that we're," she trailed off.

"She's not home yet, but yea, just so she knows not to bring it up around the guys for some reason,” he said, leading the way into the kitchen. 

“That’s good,” she nodded, taking the soda that he offered to her.

An awkward silence hung between them as they stood in the kitchen. They normally would have been bantering easily, but there was now so much to talk about that neither seemed to know where to begin.

“So, umm-” Frank started, but before he could get any more words out, the doorbell rang. “Oh, hang on.”

(YN) nodded and made her way to the living room, plopping down on the couch.

"Thanks man, see ya Monday," she heard Frank say before walking into the living room with the pizza.

"Who was that?"

"Tucker. I didn't know he got a job delivering pizzas."

"Me neither, but no one tells me anything anymore," she laughed.

Frank laughed as he sat the pizza down on the coffee table in front of them. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Whatever you want,” (YN) shrugged as she picked up a slice of pizza.

Frank hummed as he perused his movie collection. “Got it,” he nodded, pulling one off the shelf, and putting it on. He settled onto the couch next to (YN) as he started the movie. After they both had their fill of pizza, Frank put his arm over her shoulder. "Is this ok?"

"Yea," she smiled, sliding over so she was resting against his side.

They sat in silence as the movie continued to play, but (YN) was only halfway paying attention. She was too busy thinking about Frank's hand on her shoulder, thumb rubbing small circles into the material of her shirt. She had just turned her attention back to the movie when a jump scare made her yelp and bury her face against Frank’s shoulder.

She heard the sound of the movie stop and Frank wrapped both his arms around her. "Shit, sorry," he murmured, rubbing her back soothingly.

"It's ok," she replied, pulling back from him enough to look up at his face. He was definitely concerned, and it warmed her heart.

"Do you wanna watch something else?"

"No, no, it's ok, we can keep watching this," she insisted. “I was just startled.”

"Ok, he replied, pressing play again, but she stayed curled up against him and he kept both his arms wrapped around her, holding her tighter than before.

"There's another jump scare coming up," Frank said a few minutes later.

(YN) whined a little and turned to hide her face against Frank's shoulder again when he caught her chin and she looked up at him. He leaned in and kissed her while the suspenseful music blared from the TV. (YN) smiled into the kiss as she wrapped her arms over his shoulders and he pulled her closer. Tentatively he deepened the kiss, and she tried not to get too excited that she was finally, truly, getting to make out with Frank.

It wasn't until the end credits were playing that they came up for air.

"I really liked the movie," (YN) laughed.

"Me too," Frank grinned. "And I really like you."

"You'd mentioned something about that before," (YN) smiled coyly, but couldn't help but blush a little. “Umm, so can I ask something?” Frank nodded so she continued. “When did you realize that you liked me?”

Frank scrunched up his face for a moment as he thought. “I think it was kinda gradual. When we started the band and you started doing your own thing with your clothing designs, I thought that was so cool.”

“Really?”

Frank nodded. "I don't always know who or what you're talking about, but it's cool seeing you be so excited about it. But," and then winced a bit. “If I’m gonna be totally honest, umm,” he trailed off.

“What?” 

“Please don’t think I’m a scumbag like Adam, but umm, at the pool party, I mean,” he rubbed his hands over his face. “You’re hot!” He finally blurted out and (YN) began to laugh.

“I don’t think you’re a scumbag, because I know you’re not gonna try to take advantage of me or anything,” she replied.

“I never would, you mean too much to me to do anything that would make you feel bad," he replied sincerely.

(YN) smiled. “That’s why I like you, ya know.”

“Hmm?”

“You always make me feel better about myself, even when I'm struggling through math class or whatever. And because when Gee or Mikey are being obnoxious and picking on me, you would always take my side," she smiled. “Plus you’re really cute and I really like watching you play guitar because it’s so cool.”

It was Frank’s turn to grin. "So are you gonna start coming to watch our practices?"

"I dunno, I don't wanna just seem like a groupie,” she laughed. “Or worse, raise my brothers' suspicions. I don't want them to freak out and kick you out of the band or something," she said, starting to pick at her nails.

"Hey," he started, taking her hands as she looked up at him. "I know you do that when you’re nervous, but whenever you're ready to talk to them, I'll be there. Until then, we'll keep things between just you and me."

"The secrecy is kinda fun, forbidden romance and all that," she smiled.

"And when it's not secret, it will be even better, because then I'll be able to do this whenever I want," he said leaning in and kissing her.

(YN) got completely lost in the amazing sensation of kissing Frank until the front door opened. They jumped apart as Frank’s mom walked into the house. She peeked in the doorway to the living room with a smile. “Hi Frank, hi (YN), don’t mind me!”

They both greeted her, and (YN) checked the time. “Ugh, it’s getting late, I should probably get home,” she said, getting up.

“Do you want me to walk you back?" Frank asked, following her to the door.

"Probably shouldn't risk it. You're supposed to be sick, remember?"

"Oh yea," he replied, sounding a bit forlorn.

"I promise I’ll try to figure out how to tell them soon."

Frank nodded. "Like I said before, whenever you're ready, I'll be right there with you. You're my girl."

(YN) felt her heart flip and her knees go a little weak as she threw her arms around Frank and buried her face against his neck. He held her close until she pulled back, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Let me know when you get home safe," he said as she headed out the door.

She waved over her shoulder, feeling like she was practically floating

Part 3

[novanekoma]

✫ home is where you are

✫ hawks/ keigo takami x reader

✫ summary: You were his home, the place he wanted to keep coming back to, and he knew that no matter what happened, where he went, as long as he had you, he would always have somewhere to call home.       ↳ loosely inspired by the song champagne problems by taylor swift

✫ status: complete

✫ genre: angst, fluff if you squint really hard and implied mature content, again only if you squint really, really hard

✫ warnings: it’s really just a bunch of angst, there is mentions of relationship insecurities and a slight mental breakdown, and implied threat towards the reader at the end, nothing intense though, and not by hawks, this is not a non-con or yandere fic, hawks is hella in love with the reader 

✫ word count: 2.3k

✫ disclaimer: BNHA, the music and any other assets used in this fic, DO NOT belong to me, all credit goes to their respective owners

✫ A/N: So…  taylor swift released the sister album to folklore and I was feeling angst today, and when I heard champagne problems, I cried and got inspired lmao. I hope you enjoy if you decide to read! 

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           For the first time in his life, Hawks felt nothing as he flew through the night sky. He couldn’t take comfort in the crisp air that raced through his feathers and tangled in his hair, he couldn’t relish in the freedom that came with flying, the one thing that usually made him feel so free. The brightly lit stars only served to fuel the nightmare he was living, as echoes of warm laughter ran through his mind, and memories of a familiar warm body clutching onto him as he shared the sky with you.

           But not tonight.

           Tonight Hawks was making the familiar trip alone, his arms were empty and all he could feel was the harsh cold of the night seeping into his skin. He wasn’t wearing his hero costume, instead the once crisp suit he had on was now wrinkled, the suit jacket missing, discarded somewhere over Tokyo, along with the tie you’d given him the week before. The buttons on his one pressed shirt were coming undone, the buttons unable to hold on with the speed he was flying at.

           And finally, the night was silent. The only sound being the harsh breaths coming from the broken hero as he attempted to catch his breath. Standing on a familiar building top, Hawks was able to see the entirety of the city, from the top of a home, the home you were going to share, he was blessed with the silence of the night, but provided the beautiful view of the bustling night life of Japan. He could see as people went about their night, he watched the friends that laughed as they walked towards their next stop, the couples holding hands and flirting as they continued with date night.

           He wasn’t sure which was worse, watching the happiness around him, or being stuck in his own head with only his thoughts as narration.

           He didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to feel.

           He wanted to be numb.

           It was when he finally caught his breath, slumped against the bench you had forced him to bring up here, the one you made him promise to keep in pristine condition as this was your spot, you and Keigo’s. Where he didn’t have to be the #2 pro hero, where he could just be Keigo Takami, someone he had slowly been beginning to discover again, someone you had supposedly loved. Where you whispered to him that if he was ever feeling lonely, all he had to do is find the brightest star in the sky and he’d think of her, and know you were thinking of him too.

Keigo let out a deep haggard sigh as he flopped down on the bench, not caring about the stiffness that would surely come from laying on his wings. Brilliant stars lit up his vision and he felt his heart break all over again. He threw an arm over his eyes so he didn’t have to see the sky. The one where the two of you spent hours gazing at the constellations as you pondered any and every topic that crossed your minds.

           It was here where Keigo allowed himself to weep.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           You had been skittish the last few days.

           Keigo could always tell when you were nervous and when you were trying to hide something from him. Your calls weren’t as frequent and your texts were short and to the point, it was hard to get into contact with you when you were like this. It had been harder when you lived separately, but once you started living together, you had no choice but to confront whatever it was that was bothering you.

           Whether it had to do with Keigo or not.

           He had a way of making you spill what was bothering you, he was your boyfriend after all and it always hurt him to see you this way. Usually it took a bit of sweet talk and carefully placed touches before you were spilling your guts out, and you worked the problem out together, but not this time.

This time was different.

He could feel the difference in the apartment every time he got home.

No goodbye kisses or welcome home hugs, the air lacked the warmth you always brought into the room. In its place was an unfamiliar cold, half-hearted hugs and barely-there kisses on the cheek. Your hand pulling from his when he tried to link your fingers, and the I love you’s few and far between. You had a habit of telling him you loved him before he left for work each morning, as you never knew whether he would be home or not that night due to his hero work, and when he went to kiss you goodbye and say those words, they were filled with silence as you pretended to be asleep.

He felt hopeless, torn between wanting to beg and plead for you to share what was wrong and not wanting to push you until you were ready.

           But you were the only family he had, the only person who really, truly meant something to him after suffering with loneliness for so, so, long. You showed him the kind of love that he forgot existed, you reminded him who the man underneath Hawks was, the person he’d buried deep down for so many years.  

           You were his home, the place he wanted to keep coming back to, and he knew that no matter what happened, where he went, that as long as he had you, he would always have somewhere to call home. Slowly, surely and without realizing it, you had become his new dream.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           When you finally, finally, let him in on the problem, on the insecurities that had slowly festered and made a home in your mind, did Keigo understand.

           He knew you’d always been worried, publicly dating a pro hero, the #2 hero at that, was not easy. It was full of paparazzi whenever you were in public, and many at home dates (which neither of you minded), interviews and gossip blogs as everyone speculated about the person who had captured the most eligible pro hero bachelor’s heart.

It was even more difficult once the public found out you were the younger sibling of the hero killer Stain.

Now that, that had caused quite the uproar. While the commission had already been unsure of your relationship due to the charming and flirtatious, bachelor persona they had tried to give Hawks, but now he was dating a notorious villain’s relative? Stain’s sibling at that. They had a field day reprimanding Hawks, even going as far as telling him he needed to terminate the relationship and all contact with you instantly.

He didn’t listen.

You however, had different ideas.

You loved him so much, and felt awful about the trouble you were bringing him. You knew just how relentless the commission could be. But still… you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him. Not when Keigo would look at you like you were the stars that lit up his sky, but even so, you knew, you knew that by choosing to stay with you, Keigo could lose everything.

           So you had tried to get him to break up with you instead, that was the reason for the cold shoulder.

           At least that way, that way it would be his choice to leave you, he wouldn’t be as heart broken.

           He’d be able to move on, with someone the commission and the public would accept. Someone who could stand by his side without all the insecurities and uncertainties, someone with a strong quirk, that could give him strong children, unlike you and your quirkless body. And in those heartbreaking fantasies, you imagined he would have found happiness, found someone who lit up his sky even brighter than you ever had, and was receiving all the love and affection he deserved.

           In a perfect world, maybe your plan would work, but fate had other plans.

           Keigo had come home early that day, picking up your favourite take out and flowers in hopes tonight would be the night you finally told him what was wrong, instead he came home to you sobbing in the bedroom, almost in hysterics as the pressure finally made you snap. The weight of the commission and the response of the public had gotten to you, the gossip magazines and random threats, the guilt you felt every time you pulled away from Hawks, every time you denied him a kiss, when you stopped yourself from saying you loved him back, finally taking its toll.

           Through it all, Keigo had stayed by your side. Letting you sob as much as you needed, letting you get out every emotion you needed to get rid of. He let you scream, cry, vent, and anything you needed, Keigo let you get it out of your system.

Through it all he would remind you that he loved you. No matter what anyone else thought, no matter who tried to get in his way, you were his home. The one who lit up his life and made every day worth fighting for.

And he was the same to you.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           After that day, you had bounced back.

           It had taken time, and a lot of communication and work, but things were good again.

           You still had moments of insecurity and uncertainty, and so did Keigo, but you both worked through it. Showering each other in love and support, working on that communication you both had problems with, and he found himself thinking how his sky got brighter and brighter every day you were in his life.

           Yours did too.

And when you and Keigo were lying in bed, your head resting above his heart, faces flushed and heads still drunk on one another, you had looked at him with eyes that held nothing but adoration, adoration and love for him. He felt an overwhelming warmth wash over every part of him, his wings twitching in response, brushing against your smooth skin, pulling a sigh from your lips as you smiled.

He suddenly found himself wishing on every star that would listen that you would never stop looking at him and he promised, swore to each star that was listening that he would do the same for you. And as you pressed your soft lips against his once more, whispering an I love you, against his lips, Keigo felt true happiness.

           That’s when Keigo knew, he knew.

           The weeks before you had been happier than he had ever seen. Keigo noticed a glow that surrounded you whenever you walked into the room, one that seemed to glow brighter whenever you saw him.

           He felt like he was drowning in love and he didn’t ever want to resurface.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           He didn’t see it coming.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

           “I… H- Kei… I… want, I- I can’t.”

           “I’m, I-, I’m so sorry.”

           Those stuttered words, the look of pure pain on your face as you rejected his proposal. That image was going to haunt him forever.

           The silent room as you ran from the party, the looks of pity from those who supported you, and smirks of triumphant from those who didn’t, were all lost on him as Keigo immediately flew out of there too.

           He was crestfallen, he couldn’t, didn’t understand what was happening as he tried to process the silent tears that streamed down your face. His own expression mirroring the pain clear on his face as he felt his heart beat painfully in his chest as his ears refused to process the last thing he thought he would hear tonight.

           It was only when your shaking hands pulled him to his feet, numb fingers pressing a familiar red feather, a feather that had been on your person the entirety of your relationship, in his hand did it really hit him.

           The champagne glasses that were waiting to be used for celebration crashed to the ground behind you as he lost control in his moment of shock.  

           You would have made such a lovely bride…

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           His wallet felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket, the photo he kept of you in there felt like it was made of lead. Your smiling face as he kissed your cheek, a red feather dangling from your neck as Keigo held you like you were his world. It all felt so heavy.

           Though, it was nothing compared to the weight next to it.

Keigo’s free hand slipped into his pocket, fingers tracing the delicate black box that sat in there. Nestled inside was the ring he wanted to give you, the perfect ring, you would have loved it. It was a combination of old and new, the diamonds coming from his mother’s ring, while the band was something he picked out himself. You were the one that showed Hawks that he could still be regular Keigo Takami, and that his past wasn’t something to forget or what his future was dependent on. All he needed was you.

His flipped open the box and his index finger immediately went to the inside of the band, fingers tracing the words inscribed.

           to my brightest star, you’ll always be my home

           And as Keigo laid there, numb to the world around him, slowly, he removed his arm from his face and looked up the stars once more.  

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           “This is what’s best for everyone y/n, can’t you see that? You’re the one bringing Hawks down, and we know you love him. But you’re just not good for him.”

           “As you know, we at the commission are very… fortunate to have connections in many, many, places and while Hawks may be the fastest hero, there are limits to his power, as you very well know.”

           “So, I think we can come to an agreement, yes? You want to keep them safe don’t you? You know what you need to do.”

           And as the Tokyo view faded from your vision, you felt the final crack in your soul as you left the only person that was truly home for you.

You needed to keep them safe.

           Letting the final tears fall, you took a deep breath, wiping them from your cheeks and pressed a hand to your abdomen.

© novanekoma 2020

[imaginesfora3]

Stormy [Furuichi Sakyo/Reader]

Nights like these weren’t uncommon.

You had found that the stormier it was outside the easier it was to cozy up with Sakyo on the couch, romance permeating through the air; he was normally seated there watching some movie you’d never heard of, allowing you to join him if you promised not to talk. It’s not as though you wanted to have a full-blown conversation with him constantly but him saying that always made you want to annoy him a little, poke fun at how seriously he took analyzing movies for the sake of acting, but you saved that for when you wanted a piece of his rowdy side. The pouring rain made you a little more complacent and you agreed to his rules, flopping yourself down beside him with your legs thrown across his lap as you watched.

Sakyo wasn’t the ‘Netflix and chill’ type of man, if you told him you wanted to watch a movie with him, he was going to watch it. It didn’t fit the situation perfectly since you had injected yourself into his personal time but it at least gave you the chance to observe his handsome face without him telling you to scram. You watched his face uninterrupted, noticing the subtle little changes when something happened in the movie to change his mood; it was hard to see if you weren’t looking closely but Sakyo could be rather expressive, and you delighted in seeing all the little faces he made without even knowing.

You think he might be getting distracted when his hand rested on your thigh but he’s as laser-focused as ever, his hand slowly moving up and down your calf in a comforting motion. You wondered how many people would be in awe to see such a scary man give such an intimate show of affection, fingers gliding along your skin as you wriggled under his touch, inching ever closer. You managed to get a side glance out of him but it was your turn to pretend to be enthralled with the movie, knowing he could read you like a book but still pretending anyway.

There had been a time where Sakyo never would have imagined this.

Never would have thought he would be sitting beside the person he loved, holding them, feeling the warmth of their skin and the weight of their admiring gaze. He had denied himself such pleasures for so long for the sake of their happiness, or so he had said. Maybe he just didn’t know how to be a good boyfriend, maybe it was safer to hide behind every excuse he could pile up until the wall was so packed in there was no one willing to tear it down. It had been a team effort to level the playing field once more, a solid effort of you slowly picking away at him while brick by brick he allowed himself to be vulnerable with you.

Did he think he deserved you?

Not in the slightest.

It was a mindset that you scolded him over, seemed to get genuinely upset over which was understandable enough as it had caused a fair bit of fighting between you. You had even broken up for months, Sakyo unable to properly talk with you, skirting around the concept of love and insisting you were better off as friends. He thought you were presenting him an ultimatum, either love or nothing at all, but in the end, he understood that things between you would never be normal again if he let you go. He wouldn’t just be lacking in your love but your presence entirely, and even with those walls built back up, they would never be as strong, not after you. Not when you had created such a solid crack in its foundation.

But that was why you insisted on building a new one, a foundation you could stand on and build together. No cracks, total transparency, an understanding. He had thought it was just a romantic notion to be able to start over at his age, to be able to see something from someone else’s view point when he was so stubborn himself. But your sincerity reached him, his heart was never as cold as he tried to make it seem, and you never exploited that part of him. You loved and cherished and teased, but you never hurt him, not willingly.

Sakyo wished that the movie didn’t speak to him so clearly, that the miscommunication between the two protagonists didn’t ring so true to life, but it seemed even Hollywood was able to get it right once in a while. The teary-eyed main character reminded him of you, of your frustration, desperate to get him to understand. The stoic secondary character, the love interest, the one who rejected their feelings and refused to admit to them, truly believing the person they loved back was better off without them. There’s also a sense of embarrassment lingering in the back of his mind as he identified with this overdramatic movie far too much for this being a parallel to his reality.

“Sakyo, are you really gonna make me sit through the credits without talking, too?” You had moved your legs from his lap and had instead moved to lean against him, arms wrapped around his as you rested your head on his shoulder. “That ending was depressing. Who wrote that? I should sue.”

“…Not everyone has a happy ending.” A true enough statement but he knew it might just cause an argument if he’s to start a debate about what makes a truly great love story; some of them ended in tragedy, forever a mark on the hearts of those involved.

“…I guess you’re right.” An unsettling silence filled the room as Sakyo looked down at you, lips pursed as he tried to think of something to say. He hoped it didn’t come off as him assuming you and he would have a bad ending, he would never wish that on you after all that you had already suffered through. He had broken your heart more than enough for one lifetime, to the point he knew he’d be making it up for the rest of his life. “You should try watching something upbeat for once.”

“I watch everything as long as it’s good.” That was a lie, you had totally seen him watching some of the trashiest movies to ever grace the big screen, but from the smile on his face you realized it was a joke. He was in rare form tonight, not only outwardly showing you affection but cracking jokes as well.

“Since when have you become a comedian?”

“Who’s laughing?”

Sakyo tried to keep a straight face but it was so hard when you were giving him that incredulous look, the uncharacteristic smile being hidden behind his hand as he pretended to wipe his mouth. You grabbed his hand with one hand and turned his face towards you with another, not missing the low growl that came from his throat at your show of aggression. With Sakyo there was always a bit of fight but you knew how to get your way more often than not, and tonight would be no different. Getting to see his full beautiful smile, not obstacles in the way, was a moment that should be cherished.  

“You’re going to have to tuck me and hold me real tight tonight to chase all my sad thoughts away.” Your noses brushed and Sakyo fought back an eyeroll at your dramatics, “You object to cuddling with me? Aren’t I the sun to your shine? The light of your life? Your very reason to take that first breath in the- “

“Be quiet.” Sakyo cut you off with a chaste kiss to your lips, holding you there for a moment before he pulled away to see your pleased look. He tried to ignore the fact you were clearly leading into him doing that, all too used to him cutting you off by kissing you to shut you up. “Stop pointing out the obvious.”

“Then just agree to give me what I want!”

“… I didn’t tell you to join me.”

“Ugh, does it always have to be so difficult with you?!” Your head flopped back down to his shoulder in defeat and Sakyo smirked, turning back towards the screen. You settled your legs back across your lap as he went to turn on another movie, sighing in defeat at the fact he was making getting him in bed an uphill battle tonight. It wasn’t even that your mind was in the gutter, you simply wanted to be held by the man you held so dear.

“If you can stay quiet through another movie… I can think of a reward for you.”

“Ooh, a gift… Is it change tied to a string? I don’t know what type of gift cheapskates give out~” You teased, ignoring the shiny piece of jewelry around your neck and the heavy ring on your finger.

“You can go to bed alone tonight.”

“And have you sleep on the couch? Your back could never survive.”

The dangerous glint in Sakyo’s eye as he squeezed your thigh told you that you were on the edge of receiving a punishment rather than a present, but with Sakyo, both always turned out in your favor. Your hand rested on top of his, leaning back against the couch and giving him your best ‘love you~’ smile.

You were sure you’d get your way tonight.

Stormy weather was for lovers, after all.

[thepaperpanda]

A Dream || Part II || Sam Drake x Reader smut

Summary: How surprised Sam is when he meets you in the prison, and when it turns out you're the friend of Adler. Fortunately, Drake lets you play a little game with him.

Warnings: SMUT!!

Words: 4905

Authors: Cass & Rouge

♠

Sam was looking at a stone ceiling that was softly illuminated with a bright light that was getting in through the small window.

He was thinking about you while laying on his bunk. He was afraid that all of this was just a dream or at last a really successful way of getting him into Rafe’s dirty, little paws.  There were a thousands of thoughts running through his mind.

All this was suddenly interrupted by two guards telling Sam that he was free. Apparently Rafe bailed him out and soon Samuel Drake was free again, he was able to simply walk out of the prison.

Dressed normally again, with bag on his shoulder Sam looked around and frowned as he spotted Rafe.

"Samuel Drake! It's nice to see you! Alive and well. I hope they weren't too hard on you there?" He asked with a mean smile.

"Oh yea, it was a heaven there." Sam muttered.

Rafe rolled his eyes and wrapped arm around Sam's shoulder to lead him into a car. "Oh, I know, I know, Sam, but look at you! Alive and well."

Sam didn't say anything. He simply climbed into the car, letting Rafe drive. Sam good knew that Rafe wanted the treasure, so he agreed on this shit.

--------------------

After few hours of drive, Rafe stopped the car. They were in front of a hotel.

"Now, Sam. Let's be open about stuff, okay? I want a treasure and you want your freedom. Be a good boy, and don't try to run because I will make sure to find you and your little brother." Rafe summed up as soon as he stopped in front of Sam's room. "Tonight you are free, but tomorrow we start searching, okay?"

Sam wanted to punch Rafe in this stupid face, but it wasn't a good idea. For now. "Okay." He muttered and entered the room, locking the door behind him. Man let out a deep sigh and flopped on a soft bed, the feeling of freedom was something he desired for years.

Sam was ready to fell asleep when a pack of cigarettes with a pink bow and a card got his attention. Sitting up, Sam grabbed the box and looked at it, those were a very good and expensive cigs. He pulled one out and lit it, looking at the card. 'Come and met me in the bar. Y/N'

His eyes widened, immediately Sam got up and ran to the hotel bar.

You were wearing a red, shirt dress, fitted one that emphasized the curves of your figure.

The black high heels completed your outfit.

As long as you entered the bar, the attention of all the men gathered there were moved to you. Some of them whistled in awe. You sent them a brief smile, and with a swing in your hips you approached the bar, taking a seat at a hooker. "Martini, please," you ordered with a little smile sent to the bartender, who checked you out with a wry grin, licking the corners of his mouth.

You tapped the counter with your long nails, awaiting for the one special man to come...

You were more than pleased as soon as you heard that Rafe got Sam out of the prison.

Few weeks have passed since your last meeting, and, you had to admit it, you were missing the touch of this man a lot.

Sam was more than thankful that he could freely smoke in this hotel. He entered the bar and looked around, looking for you. It wasn't particularly hard, you were the most stunning human being in this whole place.

Sam let out some smoke and looked down on himself, he didn't look too bad actually but still, he was worried it might be not enough for you. He straightened his jeans jacket and walked to the bar, using a moment of your distraction. "Hello there, beautiful. Can I offer you another drink?" Sam said with a soft pur, sitting on the stool right next to you.

You pretended you haven't noticed his presence, do you smirked and nodded head a little. "If you will guess what do I drink, I'll let you buy me a drink, sir," you replied, and tilted head aside to look at him above your shoulder.

"Well, thinking about such a beautiful and stunning lady like you..." Sam hummed looking at your drink and thinking about the right answer. "... I would say it's a martini, a fine drink for a fine lady like you."

He smiled at you, in a deep disbelieve he was seeing you again. This was proof you weren't just a dream. You were here now, with him and for him.

You gave him a little nod of your head, just a tiny one, barely noticeable, but you knew he understood.

You turned to him on your chair, crossing legs nicely, making sure that your dress moved a little up your thighs, uncovering the flesh of your legs.

Sam licked his lips checking your body from the bottom to the top. Oh, how happy he was that you were here, he was already getting excited about this meeting.

"Oh, you finally decided to look at me, missy? I'm glad to see those beautiful eyes looking at me." He said with his charming smile.

You nodded and sipped from your glass. "I did. And I don't regret, mister," you told him.

You slowly downed the drink, letting fee drops to fall on your cleavage, you slowly ran the tip of your tongue along the line of your lips covered in red lipstick.

Sam chuckled and licked his lips once again, looking at your beautiful lips. "You know, I have a nice room with a big bed. Maybe you would like to visit me tonight? I am an ex-prisoner, a warm and nice body as yours would be a real consolation for my poor, wretched soul and body."

"I don't know, darling. I don't know if I am allowed to do so," you teased as you stretched one of your legs, and rubbed it against his knee.

It was when Rafe has approached the two of you, with the wry smirk of his on his lips.

"Oh well, I can see you keep whoring around as always, love." Rafe smiled wrapping arm around your shoulder. "I can see that our dear Sammy here ran after the bone. Like a good dog he is."

Sam frowned, looking at Rafe and you. He could feel a nice atmosphere and any kind of excitement wear off pretty quickly, he really wanted to strangle this fucked up rich boy then and there.

"Smile, Sam. You are scaring the lady," Adler said with a short laugh.

You briefly kissed Rafe's cheek and smiled at him, poking his ribs gently. "Stop it, Adler, or I'll have to break your neck," you said, your time was vicious and smirk vanished as soon as you spot the look on Sam's face.

Slowly getting up from your chair, you touched man's chest. "He's very important. The most important here, Rafe," you told him.

"Well I am sorry, love, but we all know you're not a saint." Rafe hummed, rolling his eyes annoyed.

Sam tensed at your touch and gently pushed your hand off his chest. "I need to smoke, I will go outside. Don't worry, I won't run away." Sam did just as he said and went outside to smoke and calm down.

Rafe watched him leave. "Listen now, you little slut." He growled bending your arm enough to make it hurt. Rafe knew how to do it so no one realized what's going on. "You better work on him, because I need this fucking treasure. Don't forget our deal. Now, go after him." He ordered.

You clenched teeth and hands in fists, you gasped as you felt that his fingers probably have left a bruise to your shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm working on this," you snarled through clenched teeth. "Now, let me finish my work."

You grabbed your purse, and followed Sam outside the hotel.

"Better make it quick." He growled behind you and simply went to order himself a drink.

Meanwhile, Sam was sitting on the kerbstone, smoking as always. He couldn't tell what upset him that much, maybe it was Rafe, maybe he was simply jealous???

"Is it a free spot?," You asked pointing on the place next to him, and before he managed to reply, you had taken the seat. "I'm sorry for Rafe, he's blinded by this treasure you two are going to hunt," you said sadly, placing palm on Sam's shoulder.

Sam smiled, nodding his head. "Believe me, I know this. He was like this even whole fifteen years ago, he was ready to kill whoever got in our way." He summed up before taking a drag of his cig. "He is the reason I got shot and my little brother is traumatized for life."

Sam stayed quiet for a longer moment, collecting his thoughts and everything. "So... You and Rafe. You two are a thing?" He asked unsure if he even wanted to know.

You stroked his back slowly. "I heard about Nathan. Did you let him know you're alive, safe and sound as much as you can be?," You asked, being truly interested in getting an answer.

As soon as man asked about you and Rafe, you chuckled loudly, holding hand on your abdomen. "Me? And Rafe? Never, even though I know he would want this," you replied openly. "Why are you asking? Are you jealous, Mr. Treasure Hunter?"

"No, I did not. This asshole wouldn't let me, I just know that Nathan has a quiet, normal life. Better if this stays this way, he deserved this more than anyone else." Sam sighed rubbing his eyes, sure he missed Nathan. He wanted to contact him, tell him everything but it wasn't a good idea. Now his brother had a life that Sam always wanted to give him but wasn't able to after their mother's death. It was better to stay away. "Yes I am jealous, plus he wasn't really nice when it came to you. I don't care who he is, this is not how you treat your 'friends'. On the other hand... Does he even know how to treat others right?" Sam sighed throwing away the end of his cigarette.

"He does when he has a purpose," you told him briefly, with a slight shrug of your shoulders. "Sometimes he can be charming even."

"Now he has a purpose and he treats both of us like shit." Sam sighed and looked at you. "This is stupid, but I missed ya. I couldn't wait to see you again." He said suddenly with a soft smile.

You couldn't wait any longer. Your hand was reached slowly towards him, you touched his cheek, caressing his rough skin gently, smiling at him. "I missed you too, Samuel."

Sam cupped your hand on his cheek and smiled even more, enjoying your soft touch. "Hey, I know that I am old but there is no need to call me by full name. Sam will be enough." He winked at you and turned his head to kiss your palm.

A shiver ran along your spine, you felt the sensation building within your abdomen. "Sam, is it better this way?," You asked and trailed fingertips along his jaw.

He kissed your finger and smiled. "Oh, much better, baby. So? What will we do now, huh?"

"I have no idea," you told him. "Whatever you want to do," you offered.

"Can I ask for your purse?" Sam asked.

You blinked few times, yet nodded slowly, handling your purse to him.

In first moment you wanted to take it back, being afraid he might find some inappropriate things there, but the feeling quickly vanished.

Sam looked through the content on your little bag. He didn't pull anything until he found your keys. "And there we go. Those, looks like keys to your flat. I bet my life that girl like you has a big bed." Samuel summed up moving closer to whisper into your ear. "Big and soft bed where I can make you scream my name louder than you did back in the prison."

As blush hit your cheeks, you gasped loudly, looking at him, a sparks in your eyes made them glistening like a stars. "Sam!," You chuckled nervously. "You're a little lecher!"

But you slowly got up and offered him your hand. "It's not too far from here, three or for blocks," you informed. "We can have a walk along the shoreline."

"I am just your local, good, old seducer, sweetheart." He got up and offered you his arm. "But you don't need to fear, there is one lady that put a leash on me."

Sam started to walk as soon as you accept his arm. "Besides, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole place. It would be shame to not try get between your legs."

"Samuel Drake!," You raised your tone at him, which made few people on the sidewalk turned around to look at two of you. "Don't be such a perv," you instructed him.

When you were walking, you still had this awful feeling of being observed, so you turned your head to check whether you were followed or not, but you haven't noticed anyone.

Sam only laughed at you reaction and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "I may be a pervert but on the bright side I am your perv." He hummed and kissed side of your head.

Sam walked with you, he noticed your odd behavior. He felt that something bother you. "Y/N? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, it's a little paranoia I guess," you turned the situation into a joke. "When someone as Adler is a friend of yours, you need to be cautious," you added.

Sam tightened his arm around you in protective manner, looking around with a frown. Soon his attention returned to you. "Is this rich asshole hurting you?"

"All the time," you summed up. "He's vicious, he good knows what to do to make a person feeling insecure," you told Sam.

The walk along shoreline was a pleasant moment, you enjoyed it so much, and wished this moment last forever.

Sam kissed the top of his head. He just got one more reason to murder Rafe as soon as he will be able to, or at last watch him die. "You are safe with me." He whispered. Sam meant what he just said. Sure, Adler sent you to prison just to bargain Sam into going with him, but Samuel fall hard for you. He wasn't going to let you go.

As soon as you reached the fancy surrounding, you turned left, heading to a house with a beautifully trimmed lawn. You stopped in didn't if the door and looked for the keys in your purse. As soon as you did, you opened the door, and stepped inside.

Sam followed you inside and looked around, the house was fancy. Maybe a little bit too fancy as for him, he was a simple man but he indeed was impressed.

But there was no time for tour or anything. Sam suddenly picked you up, wrapping your legs around his hips, he gave you a cocky smile. "Hey there, beautiful."

Taken by a surprise, you squeaked and chuckled, wrapping arms around his neck. You dropped the keys to the wooden floor, they fell on it with a loud, metallic noise. "Hey there, handsome," you greeted him while placing a tiny kiss to bridge of his nose.

Sam purred loudly at the soft feeling of your lips. "Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I missed those lips. Just in other place." He joked and his lips moved to your neck where he started to gently kiss and bite your skin.

You moaned for him, slipping your hands into his hair. "Maybe not here," you gasped. You were already shaking from desire, the heat between your legs started to be unbearable. "Put me down," you asked him. Your lips traced the line of his jaw.

"Why not? I could fuck you nicely against the wall like I did before." He growled against your neck but soon he obeyed you and put you down. "Lead the way, sweetheart."

You grabbed him by his rough palm, and lead the way upstairs. You stopped minding the blush that appeared on your face again after Sam's words.

As soon as you entered a long hallway, you let go of his hand and started unzipping your dress, still with the familiar swing in your hips.

Sam followed you slowly looking at the little show. He couldn't describe how much he wanted you, after this one time with you he desired only you. He moved closer and helped you with the zipper a little, his hand gently slipped under your dress. Sam smiled to himself. "I missed the feeling of this soft skin."

You only smirked at his words, cold shivers ran along your spine once again. You were curious, what exactly this particular man had in himself that he was turning your mind upside down.

Soon, you opened the door leading to a huge bedroom. The bed was placed near the entrance to the balcony, a satin quilt on the bed shone in a light of the moon which peeked from behind the clouds.

You made sure the zipper of your dress was fully opened, then you simply let the dress fall down to your ankles. You stepped out of it; you were wearing only lacy, black panties beneath.

Sam watched you with his mouth opened, he never forgot how your body looked, but now in this other circumstances you were even more beautiful. He could imagine all sort of stuff he could do to you and this sweet body of yours. "Oh, little one. You love to tease, huh?" Sam asked removing his jacket and shirt, exposing his chest to you. "It's not nice to tease, I think I will have to teach you some stuff." Samuel walked closer to you and pulled you into a heated kiss.

You wrapped arms around man's neck, pressing boobs to his exposed chest. Your tongues danced together, and you hummed into the kiss. This was all you needed.

When you broke the kiss, you smiled at him, and walked to the bed, where you laid, rubbing thighs together, watching him. "Did I tell you I love your body? Even with those," you pointed the scars the bullets have left on his lower stomach.

"Well, women naturally love some scars. It shows how strong and brave the man is." Sam joked removing his pants slowly.

He walked to you bed slowly. Samuel grabbed your foot and placed a kiss on top of it. Soon he moved up, kissing every inch of the skin until he got comfortable between your legs. "Hmmm, let's see if I remember where it is." He hummed before rubbing your clit through your lacy panties.

"Oh, God," you gasped loudly and rolled head back, resting it on the mattress of your bed. "You're the most teasing person I've ever met."

"Well, I learn from the best." He looked up at you and winked. "How about we take this off, huh?" Biting his lips gently, Sam pulled your pants off.

"Sam," you gasped once again and rubbed thighs together. "You're turning me on so much!," You told him while slipped hands in his hair.

He chuckled, pulling your thighs apart. "Oh, I know this, sweetheart. I try my best."

Sam leant down and kissed your belly, only to move down to your pussy. His thumb started to again rub circles on your clit as his tongue started to softly lick and tease your entrance.

"Fuck," you gasped and placed your legs on his wide shoulders. "That's it, handsome, you hit the perfect spot," you whispered through parted lips, your fingers tangled with his hair.

Sam hummed, looking up on you. He took his time eating you out, there was no time to rush it all. Sam started to rub your clit faster as soon and his tongue slipped inside of you.

"Sam! You're unfair!," You moaned sweetly. "I want to be gagged with your cock," you moaned.

Sam smiled and moved up, he gave you a quick kiss. His hand stayed between your legs. "Oh, I know what you want, sweetheart..." He pushed two of his fingers inside of you while his thumb started to abuse your bundle of nerves.

"I didn't want it!," You chuckled darkly, but enjoyed the touch and pleasure he has offered you. "I want to suck you off, you heard me?"

"Oh, I heard you just right, but tonight I am in charge here." Sam smiled curling his fingers deep inside of you. "You will cum for daddy like a good girl you are, and then we will think about prize for you."

Your thighs twitched, and you arched your back. "That's it, Samuel, just like that..."

You turned into a moaning mess, writhing in the bed at the slightest touch of his.

Sam stopped his movement and looked at you with a soft frown. "Samuel?

"Yes...," You replied and cocked your brow. "Is this a problem, Samuel?," You teased. You good knew he preferred short version of his name.

He chuckled. "You want daddy to do something, you need to address him properly." Sam informed you with a smile.

"Daddy," you emphasized the word while rolling your hips a little. "Is it better?"

"Now this is more like it, sweetheart." Sam smiled and resumed the movement of his fingers. His lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and biting it gently.

"Fuck," you moaned quietly as you felt how you pussy started clenching around his fingers. Soon, they were flooded with your juices, and your peak has left you as a mess.

Sam watched your peak with a satisfied smile, he removed his fingers and licked them with a loud, happy sound. "Delicious, I never thought a girl can be that tasty."

Sam sat on the edge of the bed and removed his pants and boxers, tossing them somewhere on the floor. "Just look what are you doing to me, sweetheart." He hummed, wrapping his hand around his already hard cock.

You knelt on the bed, and crawled to Sam. Your hand placed on his chest, and slowly moved down, to reach his abdomen where your scratched him lately. "All I can see is that my Sam is pretty hard for me, and I want to tell you a secret," you said while climbing his lap. You leant forward to whisper into his ear. "Your girl is dripping wet, and her pussy is so ready for this cock."

Sam smiled and rubbed your hips, but suddenly a hard slap landed on your bun. He only looked at you before giving you one more slap, he made sure to massage the place after. "That's nice and all but as I remember I told you something. Want something from your daddy, address him properly." Sam reminded you.

You leant forward to whisper into his ear once again. "Your girl is dripping wet for you, daddy," you told him, rolling hips in his hands.

"Oh, so you don't want to choke on daddy's cock anymore? Come here than, love." Sam said and raised you only to lower you on his cock.

"Fuck. I missed this." Sam growled at the nice and familiar feeling of your walls squeezing his cock. He started to move slowly at first, holding your waist tightly.

"Yes, that's it, that's it!," You moaned and used all of your strength to push him back, so he laid on the mattress. Then, you made yourself comfortable, increased your pace, and soon you were riding him strongly and viciously, chasing the pleasure.

Sam let out a soft moan and grabbed your hips, he trusted his to met your movement. "Someone likes to go fast, huh? You know we don't need to rush things up this time?"

His hand traveled from your hip to your clit to tease the bundle of nerves, looking up at you.

"I... Know," you gasped and rolled hips harder for him. "But I want to ride this cock as hard as no one before did."

"I can see that, sweetheart, and I need to say I love it." He purred.

After this Sam sat back up, wrapping one arm around your waist to hold you in place. He started to fuck you hard, getting deeper and deeper with every thrust while rubbing your clit firmly. "Now, be a good girl and cum around daddy's cock."

"I don't want to cum yet, daddy!," You moaned as you scratched his back with your nails.

Sam grabbed your chin making you look directly at him, he didn't stop moving his hips. "Oh, yes? Than what do you want, sweetheart?"

"I want to suck you off, daddy, please, I was a good girl, I deserved a price."

"Well, I don't know. I gave you chance and you immediately jumped on my cock." Sam said teasing you by giving you one deep and hard thrust. "You really think you deserved a prize?"

"Yes, daddy! I did!," You begged

Sam laughed shortly and pulled you off his cock. "Okay, but just because you are so good to your daddy, sweetheart. On your knees and get to work, make your daddy proud." Drake said smiling at you.

You knelt in front of him quickly, your palm wrapped around his shaft, you slowly pumped your hand, moving it up and down, your eyes never left his. In the end, you spat on his tip, spreading your saliva with fingers along his dick.

Sam groaned and throw his head back, enjoying your touch, his hand slipped into your hair to grab them gently. "C'mon, don't torture your daddy, sweetheart. I gave you the prize, show how thankful and happy you are for it."

You wrapped your lips around his shaft, starting to bob your head slowly at first, you increased the pace with time, humming around his shaft, just to provide him more sensation. Soon, you pulled his cock out, spat on it again, and licked the main vein on the lower side. He tasted amazingly good.

Sam moaned and looked down on you, panting heavily. He was getting closer and closer to his climax, all thanks to your wonderful touch. "Fuck, this feels so fucking good."

You slipped his cock deep down your throat, gagging with it. You closed eyes shut, a single tear streamed down your cheek, and you started bobbing your head again, as hard as it was possible, until he came.

"Let's see how you like that." Sam growled as he grabbed back of your neck, forcing you to deepthroat him, just then he cum deep down your throat. "Fuck..." He gasped letting go of your nape.

You closed eyes shut, yet swallowed entire load he offered you. His sperm tasted bitterly, like a black coffee, so in a first reflex you gagged, yet in the end you enjoyed the taste

He cupped your cheek. "Such a good girl, you swallowed everything. What should I do with you now, huh?" Sam purred, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"Whatever you want, Sam," you purred and moved up, licking a trail from his cock to his neck.

"Wrong again, sweetheart but I'll let it slide this time." Sam picked you up a little and laid you on the bed before diving between your legs, eating you out like a starving man until you came.

"Fuck, fuck," you were moaning for him, your legs placed on his shoulders, you body shaking from the pleasure he was offering you. It was until your pussy started clenching rhythmically, you rolled head back and screamed his name as you came all over his face.

Sam pulled away, licking his lips. "Well, that was something delicious. Fucking tell me you have cigarettes here, beautiful." He said with a soft laugh.

"In a drawer," you gasped and showed the direction with your head. "Oh, fuck, what have you done to me."

Sam quickly got to your drawer and took the box of cigarettes, pretending he didn't notice your toys there. He lit one cig and smiled at you. "Well, I just show you how a real man fucks lady nicely, I thought it was clear." He shrugged pulling you closer. "Besides, those stuff in the drawer? We need to use them one day, my naughty girl."

"If you'll be a good boy then maybe I'll think of this," you told him while you were still playing with your pussy. It was still so sensitive after the sex, and you enjoyed it so much. "Now. Better gather your sexy ass, and find the treasure for Rafe. Or he will kill us both."

Sam hummed, nodding while taking a drag of his cigarette. He puffed out a smoke and looked at you. "You see, I would but there is one thing that is stopping me, ya know?”

You gasped after the kiss. This man was a death of yours. He was spinning your head round, like a wheel.

You gave him a look and smirked. "I hope for more adventures with you."

[astringofmadhousefloozies]

Catch a Falling Star

The Star Sending Festival goes a little differently when Yuu has a raging crush on one of the performers.

Warnings for coarse language, deceptive actions, and being an excuse for OC x Canon, baby!

Please check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, and let me know if you enjoyed it! I have an open askbox and do like to chat.

~*~*~*~

"You boys look great."

Trey and Deuce flushed a bit, and you laughed and snapped a quick picture. How pretty they looked in starlight silks and airy linens, all embroidered in gold! Pretty as a picture.

"If you like the clothes so much, you can take my spot and play the drum?" Idia, poor thing, he sounded so hopeful from the other side of his screen. And the clothes were nice, nicer than even the robes you had woken up in. They'd look nice on you. But if they'd look nice on you, how much nicer would they look on him?

You tried to keep your voice casual, but you couldn't keep out the teasing tone. "Noooo, they’d suit you better. And I can't keep a beat! You've done perfect on some of the rhythm games you play. It'll be a cakewalk."

He just groaned, and kept at it. As though pity for him could outweigh your own desires.

~*~*~*~

"Selfish little bastard of a man."

"Please stop calling my brother names."

"I'll call him what I like. Deuce has been working very hard. At least he can't resist gamifying anything."

Ortho hovered behind your shoulder. "Is it wrong that I hope Deuce succeeds? I should want Idia to always win."

"I hope not. I like Idia a lot-"

"You do."

"Shh. But that doesn't mean I want him to always have his way. He does need to do things sometimes. If he doesn't occasionally come out of his comfort zone, how's he going to extend said zone? He's got... there's zones he needs to be in before..."

Ortho tilted his head, and you ruffled his hair like the puppy he seemed. "Anyways. I got an idea. Say nothing to you brother about it, I don't want him crying betrayal in my messages."

~*~*~*~

"Easy sleep."

The gem glowed to life, and you set it aside to grab the next unactivated one. With so many students not wanting to make a wish? All you had to say was that you'd take unwanted stones, no questions asked. By sunset there were piles of them by the Ramshackle gate. all to add to Deuce's . And wishing stars didn't seem to care if the same person used multiple, just if you spoke it out loud. Which, with your loudmouth shnook of a roommate, meant you were just cycling through a list of trivial things.

"Ugh, are you done? I'm going to bed." He only made a few more wishes himself, for endless food and as many naps as he'd like, before growing bored.

"I'll be up soon, make yourself comfortable. Um. Fly the heavens. Swim like fishes. A clean conscience..." You kept going through ones in the lyrics from a remembered song, until you were sure Grim was in bed and wouldn't be awake to make fun of you.

"One true lover with a thousand kisses."

The stone clicked on like a sigh, warming under your touch. The light seemed a bit different, though it was likely your imagination. You grabbed the next one. "Idia to perform in his pretty little outfit." Click. "That if I go home, I rememeber everything, everyone here." Click. Click. Click. You kept going until there was only one left.

You whispered a truly selfish one to it, and it lit up so bright you had to blink the spots from your eyes.

~*~*~*~

"Aaaaaaaaa you look so cuuute~" As beautiful as Idia looked? You couldn't stop gushing over Ortho. "You're such a pretty little thing aaaaaaaaah!~" You swung Ortho around in a hug. "You look great! And the ceremony is saved!"

God, he had such a sweet laugh. "I'll be perfect! I have to go! I'll see you after!" Was he trailing sparkles as he went? Probably not. And with him gone, you could go back to your original target.

Idia fidgeted in his spoot and looked away as you looked him up and down. You'd never seen him look so fine. Of course, even in his usual clothes, he was beautiful, but in these, this finery? He looked otherworldly, more a fanciful painting than a person. Maybe everyone else could see even a fraction of what you did.

"You look nice."

"It's awful." 

"It's lovely. A splendid get up for a splendid person." He turned red. "A kind, sweet boy who steps up to the plate when it really matters." Redder. "A wonderful person who went out and personally granted all the wishes he could - Mal told me about what you did, and look what you've done for Ortho! And you saved the ceremony!"

He covered his face with his hands. "Stop, stop, I'm too low-leveled to take these complements. I don't deserve them."

"You deserve plenty. May I...?" You held up your phone.

He frowned at you. "Why would you want a picture of me looking like an idiot?"

"You look..." So beautiful you feel lightheaded just from standing this close. "Far from an idiot."

He argued, but you did get your picture.

~*~*~*~

The ceremony was over, but you're just pissy. If it was just your phone on the friz? Yeah, whatever. But everyone's went screwy, so you knew damn well Idia did something so there wouldn't be pictures or video.

And he'd done so well! He was a born drummer, he hadn’t missed a beat. He'd been so alive, and passionate, and he needed to see it for himself. That was the whole reason, not that you’d wanted a recording of him to watch in the wee hours of the morning.

Good thing that even as he fled from the wishing tree, he was easy to pick out, and it was easy to guess the direction he was going. So, instead of chasing directly after him and losing out to his long stride, you just took a different path and waylaid him in a small clearing.

He didn't even realize you were there until you steped into his path ten feet in from of him, landing on his ass.

"So. How'd you screw the phones?"

He blinked up at you, chest heaving. His clothes were damp from the ceremony, and he smelled of sweat, though not unpleasantly. "Made a signal jammer. They'll be fine when I turn it off."

You smiled, and sat down across from him. You'd picked a good spot to find him, the moss was thick underneath you. both. "That's a great trick. Why?"

He rolled his eyes, already knowing what track you were on. "No one wants pictures of me except you."

"If that was true, you wouldn't have made it so no one got any pictures of the ceremony. The one where you were only a small part of." You decided to add a bit of guilt. "Deuce's poor mother, she'll not get any pictures of her boy!"

He flopped back onto the ground and covered his face. "Stop lying."

"I'm not lying."

"You don't actually care about that." Still lying back, he pointed a finger at you. "You're just mad because you didn't get your pictures of me! Why me?"

"Why not you? I was so busy looking at you I barely had time to notice anything else! Why would I want to look at anything else!" You couldn't stop yourself. "I don;t understand why anyone would ever stop looking at you. I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. And after I got to know you? I like all of you, even the parts that drive me mad. Especially those." You drew your knees to your chest, painful with the thudding of your heart. "You're wonderful. The only thing about you I truly don't like is how much you dislike yourself."

He'd drawn back during your... good lord, that was a confession, wasn't it? Against a tree, staring at you wide eyed with fear. He was going to run as soon as he caught his breath, you knew it. You'd fucked it up and he probably wouldn't even want to keep being your friend.

"Do you really mean that?"

You nodded, waiting for the shoe to drop. But instead of running, he joined you, a hair's breadth from your side, silent for what felt like eons.

"I'm an SR at most. On my good days."

"Nonsense." You laughed. "You're a treasure. a truly rare specimen. Museum quality."

He managed to laugh back. "Only normies still go to museums."

You nudged his shoulder. "I said don't ever call me that."

"Normie."

"Stop."

"Nor-"

You pushed him lightly, and he still flopped over, laughing. You joined him, head on his chest. (So damned bony! even with his faint muscle, you could feel the curves of rib beneath his skin.)

"Idia?"

"?"

"You're terrified. I can hear your heart going."

"Ah... Excited too. People don’t confess to you every day. Especially not me."

"Oh, they should though. Letters pouring out of your locker every time you open it. Chocolates from secret admirers. The whole list."

"Not everyone's you. No one else is."

"You can just borrow mine. I get tons of them."

He frowned at you. "And you pick me?"

"Yes? Why wouldn't I?"

"There's the whole school to pick from. A whole school who aren't shut in otakus with curses."

"Oh, I got a curse too." He narrowed his eyes at you. "I'm the hottest bitch in a school full of hot bitches. It's truly dreadful. No one meets my exacting standards except you."

"I am cursed. And you have no standards, because..."

You held a finger to his lips, and he went cross-eyed trying to look at it. "No. Don't start. Can I prove I like you?"

He gave a small nod, and you took a deep breath before you began. The first kiss, you placed to his fore head after pushing his bangs away. The next two, to each scrunched eyelid, purplish and finely veined. Four, five, six, to the nose and each cheek. On the last, you hesitated. Was this too much? Was this too quick? He answered you himself, reaching up and dragging you down to crush his lips against yours with a gasp. He only let you up when he gasped for breath, eyes unfocused and his lips bruised and swollen. It was such a glorious sight, you couldn't help but record it.

He didn't even get a chance to shield his eyes, and you'd stowed your phone away as he blinked in shock as he realized what the click was. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because you looked beautiful, and I wanted to remember it."

"Nnnn... please don't show anyone."

"Not even you?"

"No."

"Too bad, I'll show you after. People are probably looking for us."

~*~*~*~

You couldn't complain. You're pretty sure that you weren't supposed to plant grass seed by hand? But there was something soothing about your hands in the dirt, so you were doing it that way.

"I can't believe Shroud's not here, he made this mess."

"Ortho is here." He was in charge of spreading the grass seed after he helped get rid of the burnt grass.

"Ortho doesn’t count."

You threw a clod of dirt at Grimm's head. "Then you might as well say you don't, either."

Idia actually showed up in the flesh before that fight could continue, gushing that he actually got the game sequel he wanted. Good for him! Now you needed to find a playthrough of the original to watch, to properly understand the excitement.

"It's a pity you didn't get a wish yourself, Yuu." Deuce didn’t know that you'd wished up at least three dozen stars yourself, he thought you’d just gotten them from people. He didn’t need to know, either.

You looked up at Idia, catching his eye. He started, and flushed not just his face, but halfway down his hair, before it faded out, a pulse of pink sparks. The smile you made at the sight hurt your cheeks from the strength of it.

"I'd say I got my wish just fine."

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White: Part 10

Part [1] / [9]

Read on [ffn] [ao3]

---

Click.

“Danny Fenton Phantom was spotted today exiting from the Fenton Ghost Assault Vehicle at the Kaufman Health Center, a recovery center specializing in adolescent mental health and trauma—”

Click.

“—what I want to know is what the hell happened here? Okay? Because in this video I see a kid who can’t walk, who’s looking around like he’s terrified someone’s going to come get him, and you’re sitting here telling me that this is Danny Phantom? This kid? So what happened inside—”

Click.

“—was released from his inpatient stay at the Amity Park Psychiatric Center just this week. Though it is unclear at this time if we’ll see him soaring through the skies again anytime soon, sources say he is recovering quickly—”

Click.

“—no, Dave, I agree that something’s not right here. If you ask me, he’s gotta be a ticking time bomb—”

Click.

“—a ghost or a human? That’s the question we’ll be discussing tonight—”

Click.

“—while what happened during his time within the government’s hold is still unknown, one thing is for certain: Danny Phantom has a long way to go if he wants to get back to his former glory.”

Click.

The screen went black.

“You shouldn’t be watching stuff like that,” Jazz said from behind him.

Danny stared blankly at his lap, not even bothering to turn around and face Jazz’s disappointed gaze. His therapist had told him—had told his parents—that Danny should avoid the news for a while. In her office, Danny found it too easy to comply because he was only just beginning to jigsaw together the broken pieces of his life, so why the hell should he care about the news?

But now it was different. It was unavoidable. The media had been tipped off that Danny Phantom had returned to modern society—somewhat—and that he was attending a PHP program, and now any brief semblance of anonymity he had was gone.

Just like that.

“Twitter’s worse,” he muttered.

Jazz sighed and came around the sofa, sinking into the cushions next to Danny. Her hair was up in a messy bun with strands sticking out like gravity didn’t exist. She pulled the sleeves down on her oversized hoodie and wrapped her arms around her legs.

There was a long pause, and for a moment, Danny prepared himself for a Jazz-style lecture about teenage psychology and how he needed to listen to his therapist because she was the expert here, not him, but instead all she gave was a small “I know.”

His stomach turned, and in a moment of vulnerability, he uttered, “I think the worst part is...they’re right.”

“Danny—”

“No. They...I...I used to get this stuff all the time. When I was just Phantom.” He paused, waiting for Jazz to butt in, but she didn’t. “It was so much—so much easier to ignore. Back then. Because they were wrong. I—I knew they were wrong. I wasn’t...a ghost. I was a halfa. They were...they were looking at me like a full ghost, you know? And...the theories were wrong. They didn’t know…”

“Some of the things they said were pretty ridiculous, I remember that.”

“Right?” Danny twisted around to face Jazz. “It was obvious to us, but they didn’t know! They sounded crazy!”

Jazz looked at him with an uncertain gaze. “You realize that they still sound crazy, right? All the people talking about you?”

“No...you don’t get it. The theories are updated, and they know—they know I’m Phantom. Don’t you get it? Everything they’re saying...it’s all based in truth.”

Her expression turned pained. “Danny, stop.”

“But I’m right.” 

“Danny just—come on, think about it for a second! The public hasn’t seen you in months, everything they’re going off of is based on rumors!”

“They saw me this morning, didn’t they?” Danny gestured at the television.

Jazz scoffed. “And you’re really going to take their word over mine? Because of a five-second video of you going into a building?”

A headache was building in his skull. Jazz was trying to guilt him, wasn’t she? But he knew the truth.

The public didn’t need much more than the short video of him going from the GAV to the building, because there wasn’t much else to the legendary Danny Phantom anymore. Everything in that video...that’s all he was now.

Just a traumatized teen going to a health center.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Danny—”

“No, I’m—I’m...” He pressed his hand to his forehead. “I’m tired.”

“Me too.”

Her voice was so quiet, so defeated . Danny couldn’t remember a time where Jazz ever sounded like this.

He was selfish, wasn’t he? He had spent all this time so caught up in his problems and his anxieties that he never thought about what Jazz was going through. They had talked, but not really. 

A wave of guilt swept through Danny because he was such a selfish and awful brother who didn’t ever think to check in with his sister despite everything she had done for him and she deserved so much better than him.

His throat felt tight. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, cut it out,” she said, slapping his arm playfully.

He tensed and immediately felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He kept his eyes trained down to his lap, not wanting to see if Jazz noticed his reaction.

“It’s not your fault, Danny.”

Danny didn’t know what she was referring to. Even so, she was probably wrong. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“With what, spending quality time with my little brother?” 

“Sure.”

“Well...” She yawned. “See? I’m too tired to do any more homework. Guess I’m forced to chill here on the couch with you. Woe is me and all.”

He rolled his eyes. “The horror.”

“I know, you should pity me.”

“Maybe you should take a nap.”

“Why do that when they’re showing reruns of ‘The Bachelor’ on TV right now?” Jazz plucked the remote from Danny’s fingers.

“Oh god.” A grin began to creep on Danny’s lips. “I get back from—from being abducted by the government...and you want to torture me with trash television?”

“Yup!”

“Unbelievable.” 

Jazz shot him a playful smile. “Well, your options are either ‘The Bachelor’ or you could always find Dad and let him blather on about ghosts for three hours. Choice is yours!”

“And become the victim of his—his latest invention? You drive a hard bargain.”

The depressive fog was beginning to lift in the room, and it was as if Danny could see clearly for the first time. Here he was, joking around on the couch with Jazz, just like before. There was nothing holding him down. He didn’t need to stand up and walk anywhere, his chest was surprisingly calm for once, and his brain felt clear and calm.

This was what he’d always wanted, right? To sit here with his sister, watching mindless television and joking about whatever was on their minds.

This was what he’d dreamt of nearly every night in the Guys in White compound.

He was safe.

Right?

“Ugh, I don’t know why she got so far into the season,” Jazz said, her eyes glued onto the screen. “She was awful.”

Danny watched as a brunette on the screen threw her purse at another girl and stormed out of the scene cursing. “The producers probably...they made her stay.”

“Oh yeah, no doubt. She was crazy. There’s no way Kevin actually liked her.”

“I mean, it is reality TV. It’s not—not actually real.” 

Kind of like how this isn’t real, huh, Fentino? 

Danny gripped his shirt. No, his brain needed to shut up right now. This was real. He was safe and the government was nowhere near him and they couldn’t touch him because the courts had made sure of it. 

“Well, she was annoying either way. I know they like to keep someone on there every season to make drama but ugh, she was just the worst. Like, look!”

“This whole show is the worst though. I can’t...believe you’re make—making me watch this.”

“Well, there’s always those packets Lancer left you!” Jazz said in a singsong voice.

Danny couldn’t hide his disgust. He flopped back against the cushions. “Ugh, don’t even joke about that.”

She took one look at him and laughed, her voice light like a stone skipping over a pond. It was a bright and cheerful sound, one that reminded him of the time he tried to attempt duplication in front of Jazz, resulting in an extra arm sticking out of his torso. 

Danny stared mesmerized at his sister, watching as her smile widened across her face and her eyes squeezed shut, crinkling at the corners. He tried to recall if she’d laughed like this at all since his release from the government, but came up blank.

Sure, they’d had moments of sibling bonding since his release, but they were all held back by something. Whether it be the watchful eyes of nurses or Danny’s body perpetually in recovery mode, there was never a moment where they could truly relax and enjoy each other’s company.

But now he was safe.

Well…

His brain drifted back to the leaked video, and his mood instantly soured. His phone felt heavy in his pocket, and he resisted the temptation to take it out and scroll through Twitter.

He couldn’t even imagine what people were saying.

He was probably a joke to them now, wasn’t he? Amity Park’s hero, reduced to nothing more than a shell of his former self. To go from a confident teen who would soar through the skies, protecting citizens from all sorts of unsavory characters to a traumatized, disabled teen who couldn’t get through a day without hours of therapy and needed his mom’s help to get inside of a building was...well, if that didn’t make him a joke, what would?

Jazz’s attention was now back on the TV screen, and Danny tried to emulate her. After all, he was safe and comfortable and with his sister and there was nothing else to this moment, that was all there was to think about. 

But then something flashed in the corner of his vision, and for a moment he hoped that his eyes betrayed him because it looked like a white van but that was...it couldn’t be…

No…

But it was.

He glanced over to Jazz, but she was too transfixed on the screen to notice him, and he wouldn’t know how to get her attention anyway because his voice wasn’t working and he couldn’t even breathe now and he was going to die, wasn’t he? He was going to die.

They were coming back for him.

He was going to die.

The van slowed to a crawl, and he desperately tried to see inside of the tinted windows but he couldn’t and they wouldn’t roll down their windows either so who was in the van? Was it...was it…

But it had to be him, right? Who else would come back for him?

He tried to suck in a breath but couldn’t. His chest wasn’t working anymore. 

He blinked and the backs of his eyelids were green. Just like his cell floor and the splatters along his wall and his rib when he awoke to it in front of his face and oh god he was going to die, he was going to die, they were coming back for the rest of his core and his ectoplasm and he wasn’t going to survive another round of the compound he knew it he would rather die than do that but his core wouldn’t let him because it needed to protect him his stupid Obsession was going to force him to endure whatever they threw at him in order to protect him.

Unless they ended him first.

Which they were probably here to do.

He was shaking. He was distinctly aware that he was shaking and he hoped that Jazz hadn’t noticed him but she probably would have said something, wouldn’t she?

Oh god. She was going to have to go through it all again too. No...he couldn’t let her...he couldn’t let that happen.

He needed a plan.

But...there was no plan. He couldn’t do anything. The only thing he was capable of was sitting here like some helpless dog watching the van slowly drive by his house. All he could do was wait for it to stop at his driveway, for the agents to jump out of the doors and surround his house, for Operative O to step out with that signature smirk on his face as he held up the inhibitors in one hand and the fucking red bag in the other hand and say with his deep, arrogant tone, “You ready for round two, dog?”

But then, just when the van looked like it would stop, it sped up and turned the corner of their block.

Danny blinked, staring at the empty spot where the van was just seconds ago. 

Had it really...left?

He let out a shaky breath. And then another.

It left.

But it had been so close to stopping.

Oh god. Oh no. Oh no no no.

“Danny?”

The room was spinning. He needed air. The lights were so bright. When he looked up, the ceiling was white and he kept trying to tell himself that it was a wooden ceiling but the room was spinning and he couldn’t see correctly and the lights were too bright.

It was too late. His cover was blown. His hands flew up to his hair and he felt a comforting tug on his scalp.

Get a grip, get a grip…

“Oh my god, Danny! Hey, look at me!”

Danny shook his head. Or, he tried to. He didn’t know if he was able to or not, because he definitely couldn’t look at Jazz right now because he was going to be sick—

“Danny, what do you need?”

“I—”

What?

He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t think. Everything was frozen. He felt something wet on his face but he didn’t know what it was or where it came from and his chest was sparking to life and his ears were ringing and he didn’t know what to do. 

“Try to breathe.”

Right, he needed air.

He tried to push himself up but only succeeded in falling back onto the couch. 

“Hey, what are you—”

Hands invaded his vision, touching his arm, and he swatted them away.

He needed to get out. Escape.

Something grabbed his wrist, and he yanked his arm back to his chest, his eyes snapping onto Jazz’s face.

“Danny—”

“Van!” he gasped.

Jazz stilled. “Huh?”

“There was…” Danny looked back out the window, half expecting to see the white van back outside their house.

But there was nothing.

“...a van.”

Why had it left? What did they come here for in the first place if not to take him back to the compound?

It didn’t make sense.

“What are you talking about?”

“I…” He hugged his chest, looking desperately at Jazz’s confused face for even an ounce of understanding.

Why did the van leave?

“Do you need me to get Mom?”

“No!” He was breathless. He couldn’t explain what was going on because he didn’t even know what was happening. Why the Guys in White decided to patrol around their street. Why they decided to slow down in front of their house. 

Jazz tracked his gaze to the window where a black APC News van was stopping to park across the street.  “Danny, I know there are lots of news vans around here now, and I know it’s really stressful. But Mom and Dad tinted all the windows so they can’t see inside of the house, okay?”

Danny gritted his teeth. He wanted to yell out that it wasn’t the news, it was the Guys in White, but his voice wasn’t working and even if it was, Jazz would just call him paranoid and insist that the government wasn’t there to get him again, that he was safe, even though he knew that was a lie.

So instead, all he could force out was a tense “sorry.”

“I know this is hard, but we can get through this together, alright?”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see her bright, trusting eyes. And, with a final shuddering breath, he felt the last of his adrenaline rush out of him.

Because maybe Jazz was right. After all, this was Jazz. She was always the smart sibling, the one who everyone could trust. She must have been right. It had to have been just a news van.

Maybe he really was unstable.

“Sorry. I’m fine.”

He was suddenly hyper aware of where he was, sitting on the living room couch with his sister, who was looking at him like he was a ticking time bomb—and maybe he was. Maybe that was all he was destined to be from now on.

Either way, it was embarrassing. 

“Sorry, I—I’m gonna go lie down for a bit.”

Jazz’s face almost looked relieved. Danny couldn’t blame her. 

“Sure, Danny. Do you need help getting upstairs?”

“No.” Danny glanced over to the stairlift, grimacing. He really couldn’t get his core back quick enough.

He began the arduous task of getting up to his bedroom, trying to remember the stupid grounding techniques that the PHP therapists were making them practice. “When you feel your brain trying to pull you into your trauma, remember your senses. Try to think of one thing for each of your five senses to bring you back to the present.”

It was stupid. He didn’t need grounding techniques because he wouldn’t even be in this situation if not for the Guys in White trying to ruin his life again.

One, touch. He could feel the loose ectoplasm beneath his fingers, the way his hands were sticky against the damp tile, the burning electricity they would use to punish him, the cold metal straps chaining him down to the examination table, the ecto-inhibitors weighing down on his neck, the way Operative O’s fingers trailed his chest just before the scalpel sliced through his skin, his flesh tearing off of his body all while he lay there, silently screaming, waiting for the pain to take him because he couldn’t do it anymore.

No, that’s wrong. You’re doing this wrong. 

But how could he come back to the present when the past refused to leave him alone?

Think, Fenturd. 

He closed his eyes and felt...his sweatpants. And…

Two, hearing. He could hear Operative O’s deep voice—

No.

—and the way it would echo around the tiled rooms, the sounds of nice black shoes hitting the pristine floors, the squeaking of Phantom’s damp hero suit as the operatives dragged him across the floor, the—

Stop. 

—machines whirring to life as they prepared to drain him of more ectoplasm every day, the scraping of tools against a metal table, the metal straps clicking into place each day, the slight squeak of the IV drop they would have to wheel into the experimentation room after Danny stopped being able to eat—

STOP.

His hand slammed the emergency brake, and the stairlift lurched to a halt. A wave of nausea swept over him, and he sat there at the top of the stairs, focusing on breathing if only to prevent hurling all over his dad’s stairlift. 

He needed to calm down. Ground himself. Be present in the moment. Do what the therapist told him to do.

He could hear his heartbeat. The TV Jazz was watching. The crickets outside.

He flipped the stairlift back on and continued forward.

Three, sight. He could see the controls for the lift. The red emergency brake. His hands. His human skin.

He ascended the last few stairs and, like a robot, rolled off the platform and pushed himself to his bedroom.

He could see his door. It was a wooden door, not like the metal door in the Guys in White facility. The metal door smeared with green ectoplasm—he got punished for that one—with a sickening pool of ectoplasm right in front of it from Danny’s attempts at eating the meals they would bring to him every evening. He could see the cameras in the corners of his cell, always pointing down towards him as a constant reminder that he was always being watched. He could see the granola bars on the other side of his cell mocking him, the tube Operative O would show off before he would shove it down Danny’s throat—for being an insolent, disrespectful creature, of course—the scalpel glistening under the bright lights, ectoplasm speckled on it like jewels.

He could see his bed. His window. His rug.

His nightstand, which he knew if he opened the drawers he would see pens, batteries, his phone charger, and a bottle of oxycodone.

Danny pulled himself onto his bed, pointedly turning his head to face his wall. He could see all the cracks in the wall. When he first got out of the hospital, he used to spend hours tracing the cracks. It was the only thing that would help distract him from all the pain.

He ran a hand along the rough surface, but to his disappointment, the magical distracting aura of the wall had vanished, leaving behind nothing but a broken surface.

Four, smell. Ectoplasm. Nothing but ectoplasm. Burnt battery acid with a hint of lime. Disgusting, revolting, inhuman. On his skin, in his hair, under his nails, everywhere. 

The smell of Clorox in the hallway, the distinct rotting of his cell, the red bag…

He covered his face with his hands. He was doing this exercise all wrong, he knew he was, but for some reason he needed to do it this way. He wanted to forget, but there was another part of him that almost needed to relive what happened as if to punish him for existing. It was an ugly, revolting part of him that he loathed right down to his core but it just wouldn’t shut up.  

He glanced over to his nightstand.

He needed to make a decision, didn’t he?

Five, taste.

---

“So, Danny. Your mom’s been worried about you,” the therapist said, scanning her clipboard. 

Danny prodded at the stress ball in his lap. The one in the hospital had been blue, but this one was green. It could have looked like a ball of ectoplasm if it weren’t so dull. 

“Oh?” He feigned surprise.

“She said you’ve been having trouble eating again.”

He hummed, neither confirming nor denying her statement. There was no point in really responding anyway. This was his personal therapist, the nice blonde lady he saw three times a week. She knew him better than anyone at this point. If he even thought about lying, she would call him out.

She tapped her clipboard with her pen. “She told me your father made hot dogs last night. Do you remember?”

Danny stared down at the white carpet. It was so clean, so fresh. If it weren’t for the small grey diamonds patterning the material, it would have looked nearly identical to the government floors.

This office was much brighter than the one she used in inpatient. Much cleaner, and the sofa was more comfortable too. Yet Danny couldn’t help but have a sudden urge to walk straight out the door.

If only he could.

“Danny?” she asked, her voice softening. 

He sighed, jabbing a finger into the stress ball. “My dad made hot dogs.”

“Right, and do you remember what happened after he made hot dogs?”

He wanted to forget. 

It was bad enough before, with the nurses and his parents constantly going over his meal plan and the stupid protein shakes. But now that everyone was at least vaguely aware that Danny may have had some stupid experience around food and that he may have accidentally brought that home with him and he might be failing to hide it from everyone close to him?

He did not want to get put on a meal plan again.

Maybe he could convince Tucker to pick up some Nasty Burger for them. If he ate it in front of his parents, surely that would get them off his back. That was a normal teen thing, right? He did that before everything changed. That sounded like a good plan.

Danny glanced up at the therapist, the suggestion ready to leave his lips, but faltered. She was looking at him expectantly. She’d asked him a question about dinner, hadn’t she?

“Uh…” Danny squinted at the stress ball, trying to remember the question. 

A part of his mind tried to recall what the Nasty Burger tasted like, but he couldn’t remember. It was good, he knew that much. He used to eat there all the time, but now he couldn’t remember.

What if he didn’t like their food anymore? What if it smelled wrong and he couldn’t eat it? The Nasty Burger was a normal teen thing, so if he couldn’t eat it then that would make him abnormal which was the exact thing he was trying to avoid with this plan.

This was a disaster. He knew he was going to fail at eating the Nasty Burger. Why did he think he could do this? He was too much of a mess of a person to even think of eating a burger.

Not a person, remember? You’re just a—

“I’m not,” Danny whispered. “Shut up.”

“Yeah?”

Danny dropped the stress ball into his lap. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists, trying to fight off whatever game his brain was about to play, before groaning and burying his head into his hands.

“Take your time, Danny. Deep breaths.”

Right, he needed to breathe.

In...and out…

In...and out…

He was fine.

“Are you alright?”

Danny nodded, rocking back and forth in his chair ever so slightly. He was fine. He was fine. 

He allowed the silence in the therapist’s office to stretch a bit further, focusing on calming his racing heart and embracing the dark, silent parts of his mind. They were his safe havens, the parts of his brain that he could lock himself into to escape the ugly memories of the government facility.

His brain felt like swimming in a hurricane with no land in sight. But every once in a while, he managed to spot the eye in the storm, and sometimes he could even fight the riptides just long enough to swim to safety.

He was fine.

“It’s stupid anyway.”

“What is?”

“This. Me. Everything...dinner.”

“Why do you think it’s stupid?”

He shook his head. “The whole thing...it’s so dumb. I don’t…”

The therapist didn’t say anything. Vaguely, Danny could hear the click of her pen, but he couldn’t hear the familiar scratching of the pen on the clipboard. 

She must have been waiting for something, Danny realized. 

This was the perfect opportunity. Dinner last night had been a complete and utter disaster. He had already been on edge courtesy of the white van—which now he was almost positive he was such a paranoid idiot because it was probably just a news van—and then the next thing he knew he was curled up in the bathroom trying to fight off the smell of processed meat that was attacking his home. 

He could have told the therapist right then and there. She knew about the dissection, about the night he tried to escape, about the nights he’d spent locked in his dark, damp cell, shivering, desperately trying to cling to the memories of his family and friends because he knew—or he thought—that those memories were all he’d have left of them.

And suddenly, he wanted so badly to tell her because what was worse than being ripped open and torn apart? What could possibly be worse than being electrocuted and dragged away from his family? What could be worse than hearing gunshots and not knowing for weeks after if the Guys in White had actually shot and killed his family?

It was all so screwed up. He was so tired of the panic, of the pain, of the lapses in his memory and the freaking therapies and the chest pain that never seemed to go away. This was his life now and he was exhausted.

This was the only part of his captivity that he hadn’t told her. He could end all this secrecy right now. She could help him.

He looked up at her, and there she sat with her blonde, curly hair clipped back, revealing a patient smile paired with her signature soft, grey eyes. Her legs were crossed, and in her hands, she held her clipboard and pen. She was here, radiating kindness and a judgment-free environment where Danny was sure he could reveal exactly what the hell was going on without worrying about seeing that horrified face he saw from his mother or Jazz during family therapy.

She could help him. He just had to say it.

“I…” He took a shuddering breath, dropping his eyes back to his lap where the green stress ball still rested. “Um…”

Say it.

“I…”

Say it.

“In the...in the…”

SAY IT.

“...”

Why couldn’t he say it?

He glanced up again and she was still sitting as patient as before. She was waiting for him, because she trusted him to tell her what was wrong, and he wouldn’t say it.

Because he couldn’t.

Because he was weak. 

Because Operative O did train him, just like he had promised he would.

And worst of all, Danny had let him. He knew exactly what Operative O was trying to do, and he’d let it happen. He hadn’t tried to fight him off at all, and he hadn’t eaten the granola bars when asked. He could have easily avoided all of this, but he didn’t. Because he knew, and Operative O knew, that Danny deserved it.

“I don’t know.”

The therapist hummed in response. “Food can be just as powerful of a weapon as a knife. It can be used against us as a means for control. And then sometimes, we may take that trauma home with us. Do you feel like the Guys in White used food to control you?”

“Of course they did,” Danny snapped. What did she think the entire meal plan was for?

“Can you think of a time where they did this? It can be any time that jumps out to you.”

Danny frowned, rolling the stress ball around in his lap. If he outright refused to answer, then she would tell his parents and they would start crying again and would threaten to send him back to inpatient. And after yesterday, he was already on thin ice. 

So he would have to give an answer, even if it wasn’t the whole truth.

“They were mad that I had to use IVs,” he started. “So they tried to force feed me.”

“That must have been really scary.”

“Yeah…” His throat tightened, and his eyes started to burn.

“Can you tell me about it a little?”

No.

“Uhh…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “By that point, everything just hurt so much. I don’t really...I can’t…”

“What was hurting?”

He hugged his torso. “My back, mostly. My arm too. Ribs. That was before...before when they—with my chest, you know. I didn’t have that then. There was time in between my back and that.”

“Right.”

“Yeah.” He was starting to feel hazy. Things were blurring together, and he didn’t know if the tingles in his chest were a sign of his pain medication wearing off or if they were just a part of a distant memory.

“Did the smell of the hot dogs bring you back to that place?”

“Kinda. I don’t know. It shouldn’t have.”

“Why do you think that?”

Danny pressed a hand to his chest. The tingles were starting to get worse, and Danny tried to remember if he had taken his medication that morning. 

He had to have taken it. His mother controlled his medication, per doctor orders, and she always made him take it with breakfast.

But the tingles in his chest were starting to feel like fire licking at his skin, and even when he tried to smother the fire with his fingers, it only seemed to grow worse. 

It didn’t matter, he would get more medication soon. He just had to grit his teeth and bear it until then.

He was fine.

“Danny, what’s on your mind?”

Danny flinched, and once again, he was made aware that he was still sitting across from his therapist who seemed to have an unlimited supply of patience for his bullshit. 

He glanced up at the clock. They still had a half hour left of this session.

“Yeah.”

What were they talking about again?

---

The phone lit up, illuminating the dark room.

Danny wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting on his bed, staring out the window at the stars speckled against the sky. It was a clear night, a full moon. It would have been perfect for a flight if he could. If he didn’t have this chip in his neck.

He ignored the phone. Whoever was trying to contact him would have to wait. The night was too perfect, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d gazed out at the stars.

It was so serene. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine he was outside, floating face up towards the Milky Way. But he wasn’t going to close his eyes and imagine that, because it wasn’t real. And he didn’t know when he would even get that opportunity again, if ever.

And besides, if he closed his eyes, how would he look up at the stars?

His phone went dim, leaving him once again submerged in the darkness of the night.

The stars were too far away. Maybe if he tried, he might be able to at least drag himself onto his roof.

But what if he couldn’t? Did he even want to try, knowing he was likely to fail? Would he be able to handle that kind of defeat?

It was no use. He would just have to ask his parents to take the chip out in the morning. Surely they had safety-proofed the lab by now, hadn’t they? If they were so worried about Danny being hurt? It must have been a top priority for them.

But then why hadn’t they done that during the two months Danny had been in and out of the hospitals? Why wait?

Unless…

Stop it. 

It was preposterous to think that his parents would lie to him about this. After all, what was the point of keeping Phantom locked up? They knew it was hurting him to be separated from his ghost core for so long. Surely they were going to take the chip out as soon as possible.

Right?

The phone lit up again, snapping Danny out of his thoughts. Whoever was trying to contact him this late could certainly wait till morning. If Danny hadn’t picked up the first time, then what made them think he was going to answer now?  

He snatched the stupid device off his nightstand, fully intending on shutting the damn thing off, but froze. There, displayed perfectly on the caller ID, was the name of someone he hadn’t thought about in months:

Vlad Masters

His blood ran cold. Vlad? Why him? Why now? As far as Danny knew, he’d kept his distance since the court case. Of course, Danny had known that he was the one financing the entire lawsuit—Danny wasn’t an idiot—but he assumed it was either Vlad’s attempt at either reconciling his own stupid guilt or, the more likely scenario, that it was Vlad’s way of making sure the Guys in White couldn’t keep their grimy little hands on Danny’s halfa biology. 

Either way, Danny assumed that Vlad would have enough tact to know to stay the hell away from him.

But Vlad was never one to uphold unspoken boundaries, now was he?

Danny’s finger lingered over the end call button just a moment too long.

Although his stay with the government had changed him, his poor decision-making skills and teenage impulsiveness had unfortunately survived these past few months.

Danny jabbed the answer button and whipped the phone up to his ear.

“What do you want, Plasmius?”

---

As always thank you so much to @imekitty for beta-ing this fic. If you like this fic, check out her fics on ffn, they are very angsty and brilliantly written!

Thanks for reading!

---

<previous / next>

[astrablossom]

The Purple Otaku Stalker

Fandom: Shall We Date? Obey Me!

The otaku with purple hair keeps following you around after you befriend him. You decide to confront him in a alleyway.

Originally Posted on Ao3

Warnings: mild dubcon, foot job, orgasm denial, stalking, exhibitionism, degrading kink

It has a good ending don’t worry.

High school AU

There is always that one weird nerdy kid that sits in the back of the classroom with his head glued in some manga. On lunch breaks he'll watch porn on his phone with the brightness turned down low, secretly hoping someone will catch him. And sometimes in class he'll find a way to read hentai and doujinshi in class which is probably why he's always sporting a boner. One time he fingered himself in the bathroom fantasizing that someone was watching him, belittling him with their eyes as he came all over the bathroom tiles.

Often times people whisper about him, how he's so weird and disgusting and he's so used to it. He'll get odd looks and glare in group projects. One day you take pity on him and when you walk up to talk to him, you'll notice how petrified he is.

"P-People will be grossed out if you talk to me. Don't you care about your reputation?" He manages to blurt out one day when you drop your lunch box beside him. At the time you two were working on a project. When you turn look down to respond you immediately notice how he squeezes his legs together under the desk hoping his erection wasn't too obvious. Levi looks under his purple bang to see you shaking your head and his eyes go straight from your face, to your chest, and then your crotch. Will you tell on him to the teacher? Are you disgusted at his hunched over sweaty form? The thought of it alone brought a flush to his face.

Your voice knocks him out of his fantasy. "You truly are perverted but I don't care. Besides I want to talk to someone else." You grab a chair and sit beside him and that's how he starts to crush on you.

The two of you don't talk often and it usually you who initiate the conversation but he's a good listener. You're kind enough to listen to him rant about anime every now and then, replying if your in the fandom. It was really nice and he found his himself slowly opening up to you and not just because you had a nice face. After a while you notice how his eyes follow wherever you go. Even when the otaku is nowhere to be seen you always feel like someone is watching you. And whenever you two talk his cheeks are always a cute strawberry red. If you're close to him you can hear how deep he is breathing.

When his crush passes by (you) he starts to sweat more than usual and ducks away from your sight, his heart pounding in his chest and his erection so so obvious. He peeks over to see you bending down to pick up something and immediately made a beeline to the bathroom. Ever since that day he masturbated more often and in more public places just to see your face. He knew he was disgusting and that it was wrong but he couldn't help him. He adored you. During class when you stood to read he rubbed one out to your voice. Whenever he was reading a hentai about someone being fucked he thought of you. He wanted to be dominated by you, he wanted to be the one who made you moan, to be the person to be with you.

But he also wanted to hold a decent conversation.

As the days go by the stalking increases and you start to notice. In the corner of your eye you'll occasionally catch a glimpse of purple shifting. It was annoying you to the point you decided to do something about it. You knew enough about Levi and what he liked after searching through his search history, making fun of him about not deleting it.

So you decided to confront him about the stalking on a Friday. The two of you were heading to your house and look up at the taller boy to admire his features.

Leviathan was taller that you and the black school uniform he wore only brought more attention to lanky form. His bangs curved gently over his eyebrows, obscuring his eyes a bit from view. Your eyes trail down to his thin pretty pink lips and for a moment you wanted to kiss them.

Another time, you think to yourself before suddenly stopping and grabbing Levi. He immediately blushes at the sudden hand holding and goes to ask you where you're going when you walk off path. You don't answer him until a a gap in between two nearby buildings appear. The streets were busy but no one paid no mind to two high schoolers entering a alley.

The alley way was mostly vacant save for the litter tumbling about. Ignoring Levi calling out your name, you drag him till his back is pushed against the brick wall. It was still daytime so if someone were to look down here they could probably see you two.

"Y-you-" he looks down stunned at the peeved expression on your face. Your arms were crossed and the disgusted look he was so used from others looked amazingly well on your face.

"I should've listen to my friends." You press a pointed finger to his chest and speak in a very low tone. "You've been stalking haven't you?" You're greeted with silence and don't hesitate to raise a hand against Levi's face. The sound of your hand colliding with his cheek was sharp, echoing along with his gasp in the alleyway. His head snapped to the left from the impact and already a pink handprint was swelling on his cheek. The otaku's eyes start to bubble up but your quick to step on his shoe. Hard. You half expected him to cry out in pain but instead you were greeted with a low moan.

"I-Im so sorry" he begins and you can't help but feel slightly amused at his cowering form. You truly had control over him and at that realization warmth spreads through your body. "I don't deserve your friendship at all. I'm just a shitty, shut in, perverted otaku..."

It was quiet for a moment and you lick your lips out of arousal. "I see you're finally learning your place Levi." His head snaps at the sound of him name and you grin before demanding him to sit on the gravelly cement. Like a dog.

Unsurprised that he does as he's told you take note of the situation. It was late in the evening and technically you were still on school grounds. Not to mention this was illegal. The sound of traffic and people passing by made it very clear you could be caught at anytime but you figured you both were far enough in the alley to not be seen. Levi watches you look behind your back before turning your attention to him. He suck your teeth.

"Spread your legs pervert." He frowns not out of disapproval but out of embarrassment as he slowly spreads his legs, again his erection struggling against his uniform. You cross your arms and take on a more neutral expression before demanding him to show him your cock. At that he starts to fluster.

"Wait! I've never done-" he stops short when you stomp your foot down right on his crotch. The seering pain was enough to make the corner of his eyes prick with tears. He toss his head back against the brick wall, holding back a small moan. It took everything in him to not flat out cum on himself.

"Shut that filthy mouth of yours up." He lets out a undignified squeal at the authoritative tone you possessed. "Did I say you can speak? You're opinion does not matter." You twist your left foot over his erection, pushing a groan out the male. There was something exhilarating about being in command over someone so willing. It brought a smile to your face.

Levi watched the smile creep on your face and slowly moves his hand towards your shoe. He stares with keening eyes, begging silently for you to lift the pressure off of him. You do so and he's quick to undo his zipper, pulling his pants and Ruri-chan boxers down so his cock can flop out into view. Just knowing that you were staring at his cock with such concentration made it throb even more.

His dick wasn't nothing extraordinary nor was it lacking. It was pale save for the tip and you couldn't see any veins from where you were standing. It even had a cute little curve to it. You tip your head further to notice that the carpet indeed match the drapes. You snort loudly so he can hear and you back up a bit from him.

Levi watches silently as you press your left foot on your right shoe, lifting a cotton clad foot out of it. His eyes widen and he looks up at you as you step closer. Only then was he highly aware that you two were in public. And for a more he hesitated even though this was a dream come true.

"Do you want this Leviathan?" He blinks. "What?" He flinches for speaking without permission but you shake your head again.

You spoke in a low but very serious tone as you trail your foot scarily close to his begging erection. "If you don't want this then tell me right now and I'll stop." You lean over his head waiting for a answer. Instead Levi gives you a very nervous smile. Heat rises to your cheek at how bashful he looked with those purple bangs covering part of his face.

"I wouldn't have done this with anyone else." That was all you needed to hear. Truth be told you would speak to Levi about the stalking later, perhaps punish him more strictly but right now your number one priority was making said boy wriggle and tremble under your jurisdiction. The laughter of chiildren passing by made a shiver run down your spine as you press a foot against his cock, wiggling your clothed toes against it before moving it up and down experimentally.

Levi was touched by your permission to consent and was more excited when you began your ministrations, huffing softly when your warm foot touched his cock. The cotton was so warm from your blessed skin, the rough exterior from the fabric made his buck his hips.

"A-ah..." he softly calls out your name when you press your big toe against the tip, curling it and pushing down till his cock bended against his school jacket. He pays close attention to you. Your face was still stoic but he notes how closely knit your brows were and how your lips were slightly turned up at the corner. He groans lowly into the vacant alley when you press your heel against his balls. You've just started but he wasn't sure how long he could hold on. This was nothing compared to the videos he watched.

Occasionally he would see you turning your head back to see if anyone was coming. No one looked towards you two and once more you apply more pressure to his cock, basking in how his body arched into your hold. Another wanton moan came from his cute lips and you hiss at him.

"Do you want to get caught? Do you get off at the fact that you're sitting on cold hard cement while I stand over you rubbing my foot against your disgusting cock? How amusing." His cheeks become a deeper shade of red as soft delicate moans of your name rolls off his lips like the sweetest thing ever. You purr his name out and he must've died and gone to heaven. The familiar fuzzy feeling of an approaching orgasm was coming near and his hips were quivering faster too.

"Do you like it when I step on you?"

He nods.

"Do you want to cum all over my sock?" Another delayed nod. And you give him the most sweetest smile you could muster before pulling your foot away at the very moment he needed to cum. He hiccups in mild agitation at his denial orgasm and looks up at you with glassy eyes.

"Too bad." You bend to reach for your shoe, slipping it back on listening to him whimper for your attention.

You spoke dismissively to him although you expression betrayed your strict persona. "We'll finish this at my place. Unless you have something better to do." Not waiting for a reply you turn around and walk away back into the eye of the public slowly catching your breathe.

The facade immediately drops and in your mind your screaming at the fact that you actually went ahead and did that. You were turned on beyond belief. The feeling of dominating Levi was fresh to you and you can't help but curl your foot in your shoe. His cock felt amazing under you.

How would it feel inside your mouth? Or maybe somewhere lower? The sound of Levi moaning you name is drilled forever in your ears. The sight of him babbling and nearly crying over you make the hairs on your arms stand. You wanted more. So much more.

Did this make you a bully? Were you twisted for getting so aroused by him crying underneath you? You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't hear someone calling your name until you feel a timid tug on your jacket. You look up to Levi staring down at more shyly than usual. His cheeks were still pink and his bookbag was suspiciously covering his torso.

"I'm sorry for stalking you..." he murmurs softly. "B-But I really enjoyed your company. I'm not- " he takes a small breathe and continues. “I'm not really good at words so I completely understand if you never want to talk to a incompetent-" you stretch a hand to squish his cheeks. His lips squish together and he looks down at you with confusion. Smiling you let go off his face before taking his hand. He starts to stutter and you lean in closer, pressing yourself against his chest.

"After your spanking we can talk more. How's that sound?"

[ladylillianrose]

Thoughts on Episode 11 (take 2):

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Alright I’ll get this out there right now…OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! ASDFGHJKL!!!

I haven’t fangirl squeed like this since the Max/Zoey moments in Episode 12 (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)!!

*deep breaths* okay I’m calm….for the moment.

I’ll go into everything else before I touch on Serkan and Eda.

I really really really hate how Selin treats Ferit, he deserves better, someone who truly loves him. Honestly I’m kind of hoping he will decide to leave Selin at the altar. A man can only be ignored for another man so many times before he’s done!

Ayfer’s reaction to the contract is a bit over the top, granted she didn’t have all the facts, but still it’s not as though they eloped and are actually married. Especially because she is now deceiving Eda with the scholarship money, which we all know Eda will find out the truth about.

Aydan’s talk with Eda is not terribly surprising all things considered. Yes they’ve grown close and Eda has helped them all, but Aydan is not a woman who embraces change. Selin is the model wife for Serkan, she will listen to whatever Aydan says and wants (something Eda does not do), and because Serkan is not in love with Selin their marriage should ve “safe” from heartaches. Aydan wants to keep her only child close and to protect him from the world, even at the cost of losing the woman he loves.

I’m glad all the girls know the truth now, it was hard for Eda to deceive everyone, though in the end she wasn’t acting anymore, she does love Serkan. But it was causing a strain on the friendship so I’m pleased that they all made up.

I love Eda and Leyla’s relationship. Eda has helped Leyla grow and Leyla has gotten easier and I’m 100% here for sassy/snarky Leyla!

I really do love Engin, he’s just so sweet but clueless when it comes to the women in his life.

So I realized writing my last post that Engin is in a similar situation to Sekan with the two women in his life. On the one hand there is the woman who they’ve known, worked with a d been friends with for years, who has feelings for them (Piril/Selin). And on the other you have the newcomer who helps pull them out of their shell, gets to know the real them outside of work (Engin claims to have a life outside of work, but we have yet to see proof if it), and they are so different from the other women in their lives like a breath of fresh air (Ceren/Eda).

I hope that Engin forgives Ceren because I like them together, they’re adorable and sweet together.

Alptekin’s bombshell, wow, I mean WOW! It definitely sheds light onto why Eda doesn’t want her grandmother’s money. They say the money is Eda’s by right, which it would be since she lost both her parents. It would also explain why Eda and her grandmother do not speak, Eda would see taking the money as a betrayal to her parent’s memories. If Alptekin covered it all up, he would have paid an exorbitant amount of money to the family to keep it from being investigated or in the news (something neither family would want as it would be unseemly). Eda views the money as blood/hush money, gotten at the cost of her parent’s lives, so she wants no part of it. I think this will make the fact that Ayfer went to her mother for the money for Eda, a bigger issue for Eda, with Ayfer going behind her back against her wishes.

The way Ayfer insists that Eda have nothing to do with any of the Bolat’s makes me wonder if she knows that the holding is responsible for the death of Eda’s parents and that Alptekin is the one who arranged to have it covered up.

Now onto our favorite couple!!

The interlocked hands and cheek kiss in front of Selin and Ferit were just so natural, they both forgot that they were just playing parts.🥰🥰

Telling Serkan’s fortune with the song? Oh yes most assuredly, and of course now we have the reason for the show name (apparently it is also Piril’s actress doing the singing, which is lovely and awesome)

I love Ceren and Engin offering advice and the parallel shots/dialogue. Engin is really trying to get Serkan to realise that Eda does love him!

Ugh and the sleeping on “their” sides of the bed with the picture and guitar pick?😭😭😭 Also I love that the picture is from when they had to “make up” after a “fight” on the balcony while the girls listened in. You know Melo was the one to take the picture, print it out and give it to him (I love her and Serkan’s relationship!)

Lmao at the watch coming back! Always beeping around Eda, despite his claims that the watch is broken he still wears it 🤣🤣😉

The doctor’s rose house and story were so lovely and beautiful. That is totally going to be their home together, he had her designing the house and gardens to what she would want. She even said she would want to live in a house like that (so would I!). He could use it once it’s all fixed as the place to truly propose!🥰🥰🥰

Serkan desperately trying to keep Eda at his side in the office. He’s just so sure that she wants to get away from him because she doesn’t like him. 🥺🥺🥺

Bless Seyfi for always looking out for team Edser! He knows who and what Serkan needs! (If this was Shakespeare, Seyfi would be Robin Goodfellow/Puck bringingnour lovers together). And Eda dropping everything to be at his side.

Also Eda telling Selin she would stay with him, despite Selin saying that Serkan likes to be alone when he is sick. Selin may have known him for longer, but she only knows the facade that Serkan puts up to keep people at a distance. Eda knows the real Serkan, he trusts her and is open with her in a way he isn’t with anyone else.

Telling one another’s fortunes with pages from The Little Prince was so sweet (made me want to go back and read it again since it’s been at least 20 years since I last read it).

Serkan’s painful memories 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺. My heart aches for him so. I feel for the whole family, but he was so young and he needed love and support, but instead was sent away. It sheds light on why he’s so reserved with his emotions and trust, and I hope he will be able to share the whole story with Eda (and us) someday.

“Eda do not leave me.” “I’ll go too. Wherever you want.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰 Serkan is so vulnerable here. And of course he doesn’t remember any of it until it’s almost too late!!!

Eda telling Selin the truth, ugh my heart 💔💔💔. And then looking like she might faint from the stress and heartbreak of it (though she’s fainted less and less with Serkan around to help with her anxiety/stress, though he has caused his fair share too!)

I was wondering when we would get to see Sirius again! Sweet boy just wants Mom and Dad to be happy together. And Serkan trying to use Sirius as an excuse to see Eda again😭😭😭

Serkan giving us a heart attack calling Selin to meet him. I don’t think he ever intended to say yes to Selin, he was just stalling for more time till he could come up with a different solution. I certainly hope Selin gets a bit of a backbone after this realizing that she needs to stop dropping everything for Serkan (even when it isn’t him doing the calling/asking).

Serkan making the taxi pullover, declaring that Eda is his bride, and taking charge!😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥 Serkan is always hot, but there is something about him taking control that is just 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵

Asking about packing flip flops in her suitcase because it is so light 🤣🤣🤣. Serkan mark my words she will get you in a pair of flip flops someday!

The confession🥰🥰🥰 so complete them, arguing, talking about how Serkan can’t get her out of his head! ❤❤

And finally a real kiss!!! All their other almost kisses (and the first kiss) are so charged with UST (which I love), but this one was so sweet, loving and romantic!😍😍😍😍

Now I’m off to watch the end of the episode and the fragman for 12 on repeat until next Wednesday!!

Alright I think that was everything I had written before. If not I’m sure I’ll add some random posts later lol.

[ofmythsandmadness]

MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART TWO (spoilers)

So...I finished season two.

I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention.

You can read part one to this here.

FIVE HARGREEVES…

I deadass thought he was gonna die.

I thought throughout the entire show that he was going to die, and ESPECIALLY at the end, I thought that was it. I guess I’m glad though that he didn’t die of course. But I was convinced, and glad he didn’t and that there was no shock-value death of a major character. 

(though like maybe one of them should have gotten hit by a bullet in one of those final scenes?? I mean….there were bullets EVERYWHERE. By SO many guns. How did they miss every time????)

Aiden Gallagher did a terrific job with the character. I don’t agree with the things he personally has done but I am convinced on his acting abilities, I mean JEEZ. He sold the act and alongside Diego/David Casteneda, was really one of the best actors on the show. I am thoroughly impressed. I didn’t really like him much in Season One, but he’s sold the role to me now and I’m very impressed.

That being said... I kinda hated Five. That’s it. I liked him in general but some parts, I was so pissed off and just didn’t like. He was an asshole and I know he IS an asshole but it was beyond just being a grumpy old pisspot. And I don’t know really how to feel, because I know being 45 years alone and lost and then becoming the world’s best assassin or whatever will fuck your head up, so it makes sense. I just think there were points where he lost most of his humanity, and then he’d flip-flop back to a more caring being. I sort of just wished there was a clear definition to all of his thoughts and emotions on it all.

But at the same time his character makes sense so I don’t know how to feel??? Maybe I’m just pissed on how he treated Diego and shit. But I’m very very glad he’s not dead!! 

ALLISON HARGREEVES…

Okay, I thought she was REALLY dead in that scene. You know the one I’m talking about.

Holy shit.

I was so scared. And also it was so sudden (and a little cool admittedly how Lila just threw it back at her like that - HOW DO I WORD thAT NON-SEXUALLY) and I was so fucking worried they’d kill her off, because I find sometimes her character comes off a little disposable. Not because I want her gone, more that the show finds her an afterthought and pushes her with someone or ‘silences’ her.

But overall I loved her storyline. I didn’t know if I’d like her just being married, it felt again like an afterthought and she was being pushed to be with someone, but the civil rights movement plot was really well done, in my eyes. I loved too the agony of having such impressive powers, but scared of the effects of doing so and also not wanting to be the person she was before. I felt for her and I was so impressed with her separating herself from her past, trying to push away from being the one who had it all and trying to be her own self. I think that this season did that really well, with all the characters and finding themselves, and I just...I want her to be happy, and successful and I want to see her find a way to use her powers without causing pain to herself or others.

And not be with Luther. Please, anyone who can do a thing about it reading this, do not make her and Luther a thing.

(also - emmy raver lampman is in general so goddamn talented and beautiful and i wish her the best. i just heard her rendition of satisfied and me oh my, that gal deserves so much more love, i hope this show catapults her career even more forward)

VANYA HARGREEVES…

Literally invented cottagecore.

Also, I love her.

I was so impressed with the way they handled her queer storyline. I was so worried about it, admittedly because television shows have a history of handing out stereotypical plotlines and not caring about the depth of them but dear FUCKING heavens, I loved this one. I cried like a baby, and yet I was left almost happy, at the end? Not happy, because they’re apart and Sissy’s stuck in a world that she can’t be herself in, but there was a beautiful bittersweetness that I adored about it. And it was realistic, and they didn’t just follow a trope and leave it there to wither up and die.

Vanya was adorable in this season and while I normally hate the amnesiac storyline, I think it’s an easy way out, I liked it here! Because yeah it was I guess an ‘easy way out’, but it worked and it made Vanya be able to be here and actually start over. I didn’t want to see her so burdened with who she had been and who she was forced to be, I wanted to see her smile and dance and love her siblings and she could and I couldn’t be happier. I mean, when she was just saying how she loved her family and her family was amazing...obviously it’s funny cause the family’s so messed up, but she meant it and I just want so much good for her.

I just love how they naturally developed the idea of the Hargreeves genuinely liking each other. This season really brought them together but unlike the first, it wasn’t necessarily because they had to, but because they wanted to. And I think Vanya did that for them. 

Basically...I don’t know how to put it all into words without making this a 70-page thesis essay. But I love her and want the best for her.

(side note - I really also was impressed with Harlan. I was scared that somehow they were going to do something stupid with him, but he was adorable and I loved him. his character made me tear up a little, too. as someone who has close family with severe autism, it’s rare to see a show that doesn’t make an upsetting and non-accurate portrayal out of someone on the spectrum. but he was so precious and smart and good and Sissy loved him and dammit, I would die for that little family)

I’m ALSO curious if Vanya’s gonna visit Sissy ever? I mean I thought she would have at the end but obviously the cliffhanger didn’t leave room for that...idk know though because I think with multiverse theories and whatnot, she wouldn’t even know her but...eh.

KLAUS HARGREEVES…

I don’t actually have much to say on him, which is shocking because in Season One, I could have written a whole book on his character. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love him! He’s still one of my favourites, and I wish I could just take away his pain because that boy deserves at least a kernel of good in his life. But truly, there’s just not much I know to say about him??

The scene in the restaurant with Dave and his uncle though hurt. What hurt more though was his nonchalant nature about it, because he’s been through that so many times and he almost expected it, which hurt. It’s expected and I knew he couldn’t just waltz up to Dave and confess his love and they’d be dandy, but as a queer person, it was a punch to the heart just watching him go through that.

I just want him to be happy someday, and bond with his siblings because there’s a deep sadness that lurks with Klaus, and maybe it’s from the actor too but there’s a melancholy that I relate to, which I hate because that melancholy is a heavy burden to carry. A worthlessness, and a deep depression that he’s seemed to have fallen into that’s a bitch to climb out of and I’m scared that he won’t be able to. He covers it up in funny gestures and vices but it’s still destroying him. Even the cult - he lacks any real love and he finds it in meaningless places, never remembering their names or anything about them and coming off as an asshole when really, he’s just looking for someone who truly cares about him, who he is on the inside and listens to him without yknow, becoming brainwashed and treating him like a god.

I’m interested to see where the show takes his character.

BEN HARGREEVES…

This show really said fuck my feelings on this one, huh???

EPISODE NINE MADE ME SO NUMB AND SAD AND JUST - FUCK.

I cried so hard when he got to save the day. He finally could do more than just follow Klaus around, and he finally got to be more than their dead brother. For so long, Ben was just an idea, a memory and I can only imagine the pain of having to deal with that. They touch on it in the show but it’s so much deeper than just being alone with only Klaus to talk to - I mean Ben was literally nothing, to any of the others, aside from being their dead brother. And when he finally got to save them, and save Vanya and fucking HUG HER AS HE PASSES ON TO THE AFTERLIFE….when I tell you I sobbed....

And his hug with Diego, how HAPPY they both were….the way that they both just….:’((

And that scene with young Klaus and Ben....Netflix when I said I wanted more Ben content I don’t know if I meant THIS.

At the same time...it was beautiful and bittersweet because he was happy, almost, moving on to his next life. He was able to do what he needed to and move on and that was beautiful. And, he got to say goodbye to at least some of his siblings, and so I can’t truly be sad about his passing. Even though it made me sob like a newborn babe.

But also...what the fuck was that ending?

And by that I mean, who the fuck signed off on that stupid lil’ haircut??? HUH???? WHY DID HE LOOK LIKE HE WAS WEARING FUCKING FAKE BANG-CLIPONS AOIHWGOIHWOIWHOIGWH

IN CONCLUSION. Fuck Reginald Hargreeves and also just FUCK.

In conclusion, I really loved this season. It ended happier than I expected and that makes me happy, so much more happy then I thought I would have been. TUA has been one of my favourite shows, and I’ve over the past while waiting for S2, developed several strong loves for these characters. More than I’ve ever cared about others. And for the most part, they were given the justice I hoped they would be.

Overall, I am happy. And I hope we get season three, almost entirely just so I can figure out if Ben Hargreeves is wearing fake-bang clip ons or not. And also...like for everything else.

Also, what the fuck is a Sparrow Academy? Whomst??? And where’s miss Lila?? And are they technically related and if so HUH?? And also...no rights to Mr Reginald.

This is such a messy summary, lmao.

But let me know what you think! I’m going to rewatch it soon, probably tonight and I’m so excited to fall even more in love with it. (and them)

[psychewithwings]

Love Bakugo Pt 5: The Letter

The red light of the sunrise was just starting to appear over the horizon. Tears were already brimming in your tired eyes as you opened your sock drawer. You took out the letter, which you kept at the bottom. You’d felt it would be well hidden and kept safe there, especially since your sock drawer, was your own. Looking at the letter, the memory of that night was becoming more and more clear. It was just after graduating UA, and Momo had thrown a party at her house for everyone. You had gone out to the garden to contemplate your entire future. You were half excited, half terrified to start the rest of your life. You were staring into one of the many fountains when Katsuki had come to stand next to you. “I don’t know how to feel about it either...” he’d said. It was the closest he had ever admitted to being scared. “I just don’t know if I’m ready... to move on,” you had said back. You turned to him, and you remember being surprised that he had such a soft expression on his face. He placed his hand on your hip, “do you remember that day in the stairs when you made me be your friend?” You touched his arm, and slowly stroked up and down his arm with your fingertips. “I didn’t make you, ya goon, but I remember that day.” He hadn’t been furious that you’d called him a name, it was then you knew something was changing. “Listen, I’m glad it happened, that we became friends... but,” he took a deep breath, “I don't wanna be friends anymore.” He leaned down and captured your lips in a thrilling kiss. He pulled you into him with his hand on your hip, and the other was holding your face. His lips were softer against yours then you’d imagined. He was gentle but fiery and passionate as always. It was the first time he had kissed you and you felt like you were being ignited from the inside out. He pulled away and said simply, “I’m not great with... this saying how I feel crap, but I know I gotta do it, so here.” He’d shoved the letter at you, embarrassed. “Read it, then give me an answer.” Here you were, years later, you’d kept it but never given him an answer though you’d read it at least 100 times. You turned the envelope over in your hands. It was blue, it had your name written on it in Bakugo’s unique and surprisingly neat handwriting. On the front, he’d placed a sticker of a small cloud. The letter had been opened and closed so many times that the sticker didn't hold it together any longer. You took out the letter itself, a single tear found it’s way onto the paper. You were crying for real now as you read the letter, it went as follows... Hey, I’m shit with not the best with saying how I feel, so I figured I’d try writing it out. That day in the stairs was the beginning of my feelings for you. Sometimes when you’d beat me in a match, and turn me into a damn sniveling puddle of a man for you, I’d pretend your quirk hadn’t worn off so I could just say how I feel. I don't know if you feel the same way, and I hope that by now I’ve gotten the courage to kiss you. I love you and I want you to be mine, even if it’s just for a while. But I don’t like that many people and I like you, so I wouldn’t mind if you were mine forever. Just let me know, do you want to be mine? Do you want me to be yours? I want us to belong to each other and Im sure that sounds fucking stupid but it’s true. If you do, I’m waiting for you right now. And if you don't, it’s okay. Just know I will think about you, care about you, always. Yours, Bakugo Tears were streaming down your face but you grabbed your phone and called Katsuki anyway. He answered on the first ring but he waited for you to speak. “I don’t deserve a second chance, I-I don’t even deserve for you to hear me out. I should have told you what I was thinking at the time but everything was changing a-and I was just so scared. And this is so stupid but I was scared of being truly happy... for once. Because- if I ever did something...a-a-and messed it up, I don’t know if I could handle that...” You tried to slow your breathing, to collect yourself, to say everything you’d held in for so long. “Katsuki, I love you, I have for longer than i’d like to admit, and I’m so sorry I waited this long to tell you. I’m so mad at myself right now- but I fucking love you a lot okay? I don’t care about the revenge anymore because... I feel like the point of it was- I just- you care about me more than anyone ever has. I love you, I love you, I’m sorry-” He hung up there. He’d said that it wasn’t too late at the car earlier but maybe he’d had time to think about how long it took you to come to this place and maybe he had changed his mind. He had a right to. After all, it had taken you years to admit this, why should he still care about you like that? You held your head in your hands as you cried over the loss of love. The love you’d tried so hard to make real between you and your boyfriend and the true love that you’d let get away with Bakugo. You felt like you were being swallowed whole by regret. You flopped face down into the mattress and wailed, freeing yourself of the guilt and anger and sadness that you’d held back for so long. 

“Hey babe? What’s wrong?” your boyfriend was finally back from his escapades it seemed. You lifted your head, your breath shaky. “Get out,” you said softly. “What’s wrong with you huh?” You whirled around now, “What’s wrong? What’s fucking wrong? You’re cheating on me!” you yelled at him. He jumped back, worried, but quickly covered his fear, “what are you talking-” “you know exactly what I’m talking about you piece of shit.” You were staring him down, waiting for his resolve to break, “babe, it was work.” “STOP LYING!” You were done, you ran to the closet and grabbed a suit case. You laid it on the bed and started ripping open drawers, throwing your clothes into it. “We can talk this out babe, I think you’re overreacting a bit, it’s a misunderstanding, if you’d let me explain-” “Fuck you.” You were shoving clothes and other precious belongings into the case. You went back to the closet and grabbed another suitcase. You picked up an armful of sweaters, dresses, and coats and threw them in, hangers and all. You grabbed your jewelry container and took out a pair of earrings he’d gifted you a year ago for your anniversary. “You can give these to that other girl,” you said as you chucked them at his head. He dodged them and then shouted, “you’re acting crazy! there’s no-one else!” You stopped and put your head in your hands. “Katsuki told me everything weeks ago, he saw you coming out of the closet with her at work.” This time his face dropped for real, “he what?” You didn’t answer him this time, just continued packing. “I was planning on getting revenge for your cheating on me, Katsuki was helping me do it, but now I don’t care about that anymore.“ Your ex boyfriend was standing against the wall, puffing out his chest to keep his ego in check. “You know what? I haven’t been in love with you for a long time, and it took all this for me to figure that out.” You could tell those words stung him. “Where the hell do you think you’re gonna go huh?” You were zipping up the second suitcase, “I honestly don’t know, I just know that right now, I’m leaving you and I’m never coming back here...”  “He’s the fucking cheater, he should be the one packing up.”

You whirled around. Bakugo was standing behind you, in the doorway of the apartment. “Katsuki,” you paused taking him in. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier and his eyes looked tired from lack of sleep. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you advanced towards him. He smiled and put his hand on the top of your head. “I figured you were mad... cuz you hung up and-” he stopped you, putting his hand on your cheek. “I just couldn’t tell you this over the phone, I had to see your face, tell you in person...” You waited, studying his softened expression. “I’m not just gonna be your rebound, I’m in this for the long run and it’s all or nothing. So you better be serious about us because I’m dead serious.” He was staring into your eyes, searching for the truth behind them. The tears welled back up in your eyes. “You are so much more than a rebound, and I am very serious, but I want to take things slow and do this the right way... I don’t want to rush in and ruin it.” Bakugo brushed his thumb along your cheek and you leaned the weight of your head against his palm. “You’ll ruin nothing, and as long as I have you... it’s not slow.” Your ex boyfriend was standing in the doorway watching the entire exchange. “Oh I see now, you thought that just because I was having sex with someone else you could go and make a whole new relationship?! You’re such a bitch you know-” “Shut the fuck up...” Bakugo  growled then turned towards your ex-boyfriend. “Oh buddy, you better start packing up right now before I destroy you.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “No Katsuki, it’s okay, I’m leaving. I want to.” Bakugo looked as if he wanted to argue, but instead he walked straight into the bedroom. He looked your ex-boyfriend up and down, before punching him directly in the face. You watched in delight as your ex crumpled to the floor, holding his nose and whining. “You’re scum, I want you to remember that,” Bakugo yelled before picking up your bags and heading towards the door. “You’re sure you wanna leave?” he asked. You nodded, “I want him to be alone in this house, think about what he did... and I don’t wanna be anywhere that I shared with him.” Bakugo nodded and gave you a smirk, “then you’ll stay with me.” You had told him you couldn’t do that, you wanted to take things slow. But as he was putting your bags in your car for you he spat, “tech, where the hell else are you gonna go?”

Tag List: Tag List: @rebel—black​ @random-fandom-girl-24​ @unawi13-blog​ @brokennerdalert​  

[deancaskiss]

I just feel really duped. They really gave us that episode 18 confession and all the other things planted throughout season 15 knowing it would lead to a bunch of hopeful viewers, only to give us the most insulting finale they could’ve. I’ve been watching this show for 10 years and this finale feels like suCh a slap in the face. Sorry if this is ramble-y and makes no sense! I just don’t know who to talk to irl who would understand why I’m this upset over a ‘just a tv show’.

Hi there nonnie. It's okay. You're feelings are completely valid and absolutely understandable. From everything I've seen about the ep, feeling duped is honest to God so valid. The mistreatment of the characters is gut wrenching. Knowing they reeled everyone in with a destiel scene in 18 and then to let it flop like that and to cast aside so much development and years of a show is heartbreaking. None of the rest of the season has any connection to the finale. Its as if they wrote this episode without having touched any of the rest of the season. I haven't seen the finale yet, and im going to try my hardest to see the positives and focus on that, but already I can completely understand why you're so upset and insulted and I honestly agree with you. The fans deserved better. You deserved better- as someone who's been loyal and stuck with the show for so long. You deserved an ending that felt right and left you satisfied, and im so God dang sorry you didn't get it. I'm sorry they let you down. I'm sorry you feel slapped in the face. I wish I could fix it. I wish I could erase the whole episode and have anyone else write it. Any fan could have done better. And I trust that so many amazing and talented fic writers are going to rewrite this and give us the ending we deserve. Hold onto that, nonnie. Hold onto that. Because I promise there are writers, including me, who will make this right. But I also understand your upset and your grief and pain. I'm upset and I haven't even seen the ep yet. It's heartbreaking and upsetting and everything you feel is valid and okay and completely acceptable. Also omg no, you're not rambling at all. I'm here to talk. Everything you said makes so much sense. I'm upset and crying even typing this message like its all really overwhelming. I'm here to talk as often as you need. If you need fluff to fix this, I promise to provide that too. We're in this together. We will make a better ending. You're not alone, nonnie. I may not have been here for 10 years, but I'm truly devastated by this finale, and I want you to know everything you feel is absolutely shared with all of us.

[dented-nado]

Loved your last prompt fill! Would you consider 15. “Are you cold?” Superbat :)

[[Sorry this took me so long!! This turned out a bit angsty, dealing with Bruce pushing himself and mental health issues, but its overall hurt and comfort

At times, it felt the cold was all he could feel. Some might think he was being over-dramatic, but sometimes, Bruce would fall into a quiet slump that only those who had known him for a long time really recognized. He wouldn’t really be angry… or sad… or happy… he’d be just… flat… to everything. Bruce himself hated getting like that because it made decisions a lot harder - he just didn’t have the energy to really care… and he didn’t really want to think about why it was happening either.

He, and others around him had just learned to wait it out. 

“He’s just in a mood, he’ll get over it.”

“Don’t take it personally, he’ll be back to ordering us around in no time.”

“That’s just how he is sometimes.”

Bruce tended to only realize those words actually hurt him when he finally was able to pull himself out of his slump, his fatigue with everything life had thrown at him, and by then it was too late to protest or say that it had hurt him.

Not that he’d ever say something like that anyway, even if he did recognize he felt hurt by it right away.

Because deep down, he was sure he didn’t really matter.

So, on Gotham nights like tonight, where he was shut down emotionally and mentally even to himself, the cold really was the only thing he could really know he was feeling. A biting chill that stung his face every time the wind blew. Even the batsuit didn’t stop his body pulling blood and warmth away from his fingers and toes to better protect itself from the elements. He flexed his hands as he went about his patrol, trying to plead with his body to go a little longer. If all he was going to feel was cold, he thought he’d rather not feel it at all. For nothing to truly bother him. To be able to make decisions and carry out his tasks not unlike a machine. Going in, getting the job done, and barely ever needing maintenance.

Instead, here he was, mind shut down but body brutally aware of the freezing breeze that felt like pelting him tonight.

Just a little longer.

Keep going.

If you stop, you lose.

He had drowned out the voice of Alfred who had practically begged him for several long minutes to come home, warm up, eat something and go to bed.

He had barely acknowledged Dick, who had tried to talk to him, but had gotten exasperated and done trying after Bruce failed to respond to him… not like Bruce really blamed him for heading out… he only wished he could make up his mind on whether to reach out or retreat away further. The latter - was the option he was beginning to think to be the option that would give most of his children a better chance at happiness.

There hadn’t been any big crimes, only a few muggings, but that didn’t stop him stubbornly continuing his search, convinced something was going to happen.

Something had to happen.

Maybe even if he came home bruised and battered… at least he’d feel something else… right?

After another hour of pushing on, biting cold, fingers getting stiffer with the cold, he landed on top of one of Gotham’s oldest buildings. He looked out over the city… as quiet as Gotham could be. He looked down at his grappling gun, his fingers were trembling… it was looking down at his shaking hands that made him finally realize the rest of him was shivering. His breath formed little clouds in front of his face as his breathing was starting to be more labored. He clenched his teeth and tightened his grip on the grappling gun, almost like he was trying to strangle it. 

His mind flip-flopped between wishing the whole world would disappear and wishing someone would find him and tell him it was okay. His vision narrowed into a tunnel. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

“why can’t I just feel or not feel?” He asked himself.

“Why can’t I be better?? Or just not care anymore?”

With a growl of frustration, he threw the grappling gun at the ground and keeled over, crouching and wrapping his arms and his capes around himself. He felt his eyes grow hot like they wanted to cry but he couldn’t he just couldn’t.

Thoughts swirled in his mind, biting at him just as intensely as the cold.

“Why am I here?”

“What am I doing??”

“Is it even worth it? Is there a point?”

“am I doing it wrong?”

“I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t do it.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry….”

He wondered if he had done something purely wicked and evil as a child to deserve this. To deserve to loose mom and dad, to deserve his best friend descending into madness, to deserve to feel so out of control of himself that he’d flip between feeling too much and not being able to feel at all, deserve to feel like he has no choice but to cut himself off from everyone if he doesn’t want anyone he loves to get hurt ever again.

Maybe he was the constant… maybe if he didn’t exist… maybe…. maybe….

 “Are you cold?” 

Right on time… just like when he stepped in the way of a bullet or caught someone right before they hit the ground… he was there.

Normally Bruce would have scrambled to his feet and tried to claim he was just thinking about a case, but instead he just shivered, unable to help his teeth chattering and just barely turned his head in Superman’s direction.

Clark’s red boot clad feet touched the ground quietly, and he smoothly leaned down, hand on Batman’s back. His red cape spilling on the ground and bringing a bright color back into a dull world.

“You’re cold.” He said softly, without judgement as he worked slowly, moving his hand from Batman’s back to around his shoulders.

Bruce felt goosebumps form up and down his arms, Clark’s warm arm starting to battle the cold that had enveloped him. Of course, the man… child of the sun… was quite literally a walking heater.

Slowly Bruce closed his eyes, allowing himself to be moved so his face was pressed against his super friend’s chest as Clark pulled him into a quiet hug.

He sighed, letting Clark’s natural warmth envelop him. He released his arms that has been curled around his sides and wrapped his own arms around Clark, despite warming up he had started shivering even more. He decided it was better to feel warmer at that moment than pull away “because it was a hug”.

“I’m going to take you home B…”

Bruce nodded, now squeezing his eyes tightly shut as if somehow that would help him forget the world around him.

They were flying, Clark was holding him.

“I’m sorry” Bruce mumbled in a hoarse voice.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for B.” Clark hushed calmly.

—-

“You don’t have to stay around Clark.” Bruce tried to say as he sat, warming up beside the fire Alfred had lit, still feeling the deeper chill hadn’t gone away.

“I know. But I want to. Unless you want me to leave.”

Bruce stayed silent.

Clark smiled. “I didn’t think so.”

Bruce took a long sip of his honey lemon tea now that it was finally cool enough to not burn his tongue.

“So why were you punishing yourself out there?”

Bruce nearly spit his tea back out. “I wasn’t…!” He met Clark’s eyes, and shut his mouth. He had expected Clark to be sitting there rolling his eyes at his behavior, but instead all he saw was genuine worry.

“…I didn’t mean to be.”

Clark put a hand on his knee. “I know Bruce, I don’t think you ever mean to.”

Bruce bit his lip. 

Clark was his first friend he had let in in a while. Something about Clark screamed safety, and it wasn’t because he was Superman. It was written in the way he would gently stay by his side, how he would smile at him, how he would listen to every single word and take everyone into careful consideration. Whenever Bruce had struggled to be open in the way most friends are with each other… how he had remembered being with friends in past… Clark was incredibly patient, would gently urge him out of his comfort zone but never shame him for struggling.

He loved him. Not just in a “I want to kiss him and wake up beside him everyday way.”. He loved him in a “You make me believe that life can be better than this, you make me feel like I can heal and be loved as I am” kind of way. 

But at the same time, it scared him… because what if he was so awful that the warmth and light he loved in Clark so much would go out?

“It’s… just a mood I get in, I’ll get over it..” He grumbled, curling his legs up onto his seat with him.

Clark raised his eyebrows. “What kind of a mood?” He asked seemingly innocently.

Bruce swung his head back to him. Would Clark even know what he was talking about if he told him? 

“…Do you ever…. just not really feel anything?” Bruce suggested slowly.

Clark tilted his head to the side. “Like an empty kind of feeling?”

Bruce swallowed hard. “I… think that’s one way to put it.”

“Yeah… I’ve felt that way before. After what happened with Black Mercy… there were lots of times I felt like that. It was…”

“Frustrating?” Bruce suggested.

Clark nodded. “Yeah, frustrating.”

“Like you either want to be able to mourn or…” Bruce continued, leaning forward a little.

“Really not feel anything at all?”

Bruce nodded.

Clark smiled at him. “So… when you or others say you’re in a “mood” is that’s what’s happening.”

Bruce looked down at his lap and slowly nodded again.

Clark took a deep breath and moved a little closer to sit beside Bruce. 

���I think… you know how when you hurt yourself, you try to do things to distract yourself from the pain?” Clark suggested. “And if you’re in pain for a long period of time, eventually you just accept it’s there?”

“Yeah…” Bruce agreed.

“I think your mind does that too, when your hurt? I think you do feel, a lot, it’s just too much for you to handle all at once. It’s just trying to avoid thinking of what your feeling to protect yourself.” Clark said, arm now back around Bruce’s shoulders.

“…. I know your right. I just… wish I didn’t have to deal with it at all.” 

“I know… but I think you have to if you want to move on, in any way. I was in therapy for six months before I finally broke down about how it felt… to lose a whole lifetime you were convinced was real….”

Bruce looked at him a bit shocked. “You went to therapy?”

Clark nodded. “Oh yeah. I mean you remember back then, you had to stop me from doing something I would have regretted just because deep down I was so angry about the whole thing but refused to tackle it.”

“Does your therapist know your…”

“One of the few.” Clark said with a slight quirk of his lips. “Even Superman needs to talk about shit sometimes.”

Bruce couldn’t help a small smile. “Well when you swear, I know you’re serious about it.”

“You’re damn straight I am.” Clark chirped playfully nudging his body against Bruce’s.

“I guess… I should… I just never really thought… you know… I’m a billionaire, I’m batman… what do I have to complain about?” Bruce replied, only half joking.

“You’re allowed to feel things Bruce. Your worth it, I promise you.”

Bruce studied Clark’s face, chest feeling heavy.

“What makes you so sure?”

Clark brushed a hair out of Bruce’s face, startling the dark knight slightly, but he quickly realized Clark wasn’t even aware he was doing it as he looked Bruce over almost… affectionately.

“Because I know you.” Clark replied. 

“…You do.”

Finally, for the first time that night… Bruce felt warm.