#I used to like the concept that he was a momma's boy but he's anything but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiy-anna · 1 year

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Am I Feeling Love?

Part 1 (You Are Here) Part 2 Part 3a Part 3b

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: From the moment Azul Ashengrotto heard of soulmates as a small child, he had a vision of a beautiful life with someone who was meant for him - regardless of what he was or would become…

Word count: 5.3k+

Warnings: Some Yandere elements

Notes: I wanted to thank @yanderloversworld on tumblr for the yandere!Azul w/ Soulmate S/O headcanons/backstory that I saw for inspiring this piece. I’ve never written anything like this before, but I wanted to give my hand at it - especially since it involves my favorite cecaelia character from twisted Wonderland. You can check it out here: https://www.tumblr.com/yandereloversworld/718766985773760512/yanazul-with-a-soulmate-so?source=share

The two songs used to inspire this story:

Am I Feeling Love? (The Thief and the Cobbler/Arabian Knight Soundtrack): https://youtu.be/NXYnClTZ4QY

One Day She'll Love Me (The Emperor's New Groove Soundtrack): https://youtu.be/8Sv3ECj7PdY

***I have an update! Part 2 now Available to read on my side blog @ashensgrotto***

***

I close my eyes and see his eyes

So soft and warm and clear

I dream awake of holding her

I dream that she’s right here

I sense in all his silences

More than his words could say

‘Don’t fight your feelings’ says my heart

A heart I will obey

***

“Azul… we need to talk.”

The sound of his mother’s broken voice pulled Azul’s attention to the larger cecaelia as all eight of his tiny tentacles stilled, each and every one of his appendages dropping an assortment of books, quills, and shells to the grotto’s floor as the silver-lavender haired boy looked upon his mother. The typically confident cecaelian now appeared scared and upset; her pale baby blue eyes were wide with worry and her ruby lips were set in a straight line - her heavy-set body swayed with the current that entered their home while her black-colored tentacles fidgeted nervously, the lavender underbelly of each appendage curling into itself repeatedly before releasing its grip on emptiness.

Azul stood, his own appendages curling inward, “Can this wait, momma? I’m very busy at the moment-”

“I’m afraid it can’t, baby,” his mother entered his room before perching herself on his bed, tapping the seafoam cushion, “come here.”

Azul sat beside his mother, looking down at his hands before looking up at his mother, who watched him with interest.

“Zully… the neighbors have told me they’ve seen you sneaking out at night,” his mother spoke quietly, “and it has been apparently going on for a while - without my knowledge. You and I both know that night is a terrible time to be going out, especially alone - you’re smart enough to know that you could’ve been seriously injured or killed by the creatures that lurk just beyond the reef of our city. Do you know how heartbroken I would be if I lost you?”

“I know, momma… but, I promise I have a good reason!”

“What good reason would you have for sneaking out in the middle of the night?”

“My soulmate.”

His mother looked taken back, her hand reaching to clutch the Nautilus shell necklace that rested on her collarbones as her already wide eyes widened further, “...S-Soulmate?”

“Yes!” Azul’s powder-blue eyes sparkled like gems in a treasure chest as a huge grin spread across his features, “I overheard some of the merkids talking about them at school a few weeks ago - o-of course I had initially thought they were talking about me, since I seem to come up in conversation here and there… but still! Oh, momma! To know that there’s someone out there that is literally MEANT to be WITH ME! Me! Azul Ashengrotto!”

“Zully, now wait a minute-”

“At first the concept did fascinate me,” Azul continued, slowly standing and moving to the opposite end of his room while ignoring his mother’s words, “and what intrigued me more than anything was that my soulmate would love and cherish every last thing about me - not the way the other merkids see me as; a pathetic, fat… ugly crying octopus fry that can’t even excel in studies or athletics. The silly little octo-twerp that’s an ink spiller.”

“Zully, you know that’s not-”

“But you know what momma? Thinking about my soulmate has made the days so much easier, even when I’m getting bullied - I think about them seeing what those other merkids are doing and they put a stop to it, saying things like, ‘Leave Azul alone! He’s not a pathetic little octo-twerp!’” Azul turned to his mother again, his tentacles writhing with excitement, “So, to be ready to meet them, I’ve been working to increase my knowledge - I want to be so powerful like the great Sea Witch herself that my soulmate will know who I am by sight alone! I’ve studied every book I could get my hands on and have memorized every single potion recipe there is available - even learning how to improve its effects and prolong them even! I’ve even studied every law text there is in the Atlantica public library - I have every law memorized word for word.”

His mother sighed, running a hand through her silvery locks, the motions creating little bubbles that appeared as she let out a sigh, “Azul, there’s something you should know-”

“As for the sneaking out,” Azul continued, throwing his hands behind his back as his fingers twisted together while he rocked back and forth on the edges of his eight appendages, “I was searching for my soulmate. I don’t know if they are here in the Coral Sea or not-”

“Azul, please listen to me-”

“But I wanted to see if I could find them. The first few nights after learning about their existence, I was having trouble sleeping - so I started doing a short swim to clear my head. I promise I wasn’t going too far away from the house! However, on those walks, it got me thinking that maybe instead of sleeping, I should be searching for them. There was no better use of my time than to strive for a better life with someone who must sense my loneliness like I sensed theirs…”

“...If they weren’t so rare, baby.”

Azul snapped to attention, his eyes wide, “W-What?”

His mother rested one hand on her knees while the other rubbed at her forehead, “Zully, I know and understand your longing to belong and to have a friend - trust me, I’ve been there. However, you can’t fixate on a single being that you hope to encounter at some point in your life. Finding that so-called ‘other half’ is like - well - like the story of the mermaid princess and her longing to be with a human. It’s a rare occurrence that only happens once in a millennium if not longer. Many times, people - humans, fae, and merfolk alike - often settle for someone they are content and happy with, someone that isn’t their other half.”

Azul stared in shock, inky tears threatening to spill down his chubby cheeks, as his hands balled into fists, “No! No! That isn’t true! What about you and daddy when he was alive?! Both of you were soulmates!”

“No we weren’t… At least, I don’t think we were,” Azul’s mother came forward, resting a hand gingerly on her son’s shoulder, “Anyone can be happy with or without their soulmate, Azul. There’s no reason you should go to such lengths to be with someone who may not even exist. You may not even meet them in this lifetime, either…”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” Azul pushed her away, anger bubbling up as his tentacles writhed in anger, his vision becoming blurry as ink spilled down his face as he snapped at his mother and guardian, “HOW DARE YOU!? You DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT the CONNECTION BETWEEN SOULMATES! THEY FEEL AS I FEEL! THAT CONNECTION IS WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE!! An UNBREAKABLE BOND that CAN NEVER BE SEVERED!! And how DARE you CHEAT on your OWN SOULMATE!”

“Azul! Now wait a minute!” his mother raised her voice, “I’ve been around the bend a few more times than you have and know about these sorts of things. I WILL NOT ALLOW this behavior to continue in my house!”

“Fine! Then I’ll leave!”

“Azul! Where are you going?! Azul!!”

But the little cecaelia was gone, swimming as fast as he could away from his mother’s typically loving embrace.

‘How could she?!’ he mind was running as he sped up to get further and further away from his home, ‘How could she say that? Why momma… why?!’

He was sniffing hard when he arrived at his hidden octopot, big ugly fat tears of black rolling down his chubby cheeks while mucus dribbled down his nose, running into his open mouth as he gasped out big grotesque sobs. He pulled himself along enough to climb into the pot, his appendages pulling him into the confined space as comfort slowly surrounded his shaking form. One tentacle came forward, wiping at the tears in his eyes as Azul allowed his hearts to calm down.

He wrapped his arms around himself as he looked out into the darkness of the Coral Sea; the pale moonlight reflected off the caverns that surround Azul’s hiding spot, the water growing colder and colder with each passing hour as several sea creatures passed over - not that Azul noticed though. Normally, he would have been interested in what creatures came out at night - but the words his mother spoke forced a jolt of pain on all three of his hearts.

“You can’t fixate on a single being that you hope to encounter at some point in your life,” her words echoed in his mind over and over, “Finding that so-called ‘other half’ is like - well - like the story of the mermaid princess and her longing to be with a human. It’s a rare occurrence that only happens once in a millennium if not longer. Anyone can be happy with or without their soulmate, Azul. There’s no reason you should go to such lengths to be with someone who may not even exist…”

‘What if she’s right?’ he thought, his tentacles tightening around his body, ‘What if I never find them? What if they think the same way she does? What if… what if they’ve already been taken from me?!’

His eyes narrowed as a darkness slowly filled them, glaring out into the cruel twisted world from the darkness of his octopot. No, even if his soulmate was already claimed he would’ve known - he would know if they were, he’d felt it; the tangling of another soul within his if his other half were to be mated to another without his consent. However, that hadn’t happened yet.

…for now.

Azul curled deeper into himself, his thoughts growing darker and darker as he made plans to continue his search for his other half; his beloved soulmate. He wouldn’t give up the search, even if he died trying. He wanted to see them; see what they looked like and to hear their sweet voice, to feel a sense of belonging… to protect what was rightfully his.

***

I'd never imagined before that the world could be turned on its head

I'd never have thought to be here in this place

I'd never have dreamt that in love I'd be lost and so easily led

I guess I was caught by that hint of a smile on her face

***

“Azul-chan, are we almost finished here?” a figure on the cecaelian’s left muttered, “I’m bored.”

“Floyd,” the figure on Azul’s right spoke up, murmuring and pressing a finger to his lips, “There are still some students that need to be housed. Just be a little bit more patient.”

“Speaking of which,” Azul eyed the two carefully, “Any news from our sources, Jade?”

“It’s rather difficult to track down something when we ourselves don’t know what we’re looking for,” the second figure - Jade - answered softly, “A description usually helps in these circumstances, Azul.”

“Perhaps,” the cecaelian shrugged indifferently, “however, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what I’m looking for, myself.”

The two second-in-commands looked at each other, confusion crossing their features.

Ten years had passed slowly since that terrible day when Azul’s mother planted the first seeds of doubt into her son’s head, her chiding and the doubts never leaving him completely. However, that did not stop him from continuing his search for his other half - exhausting himself beyond belief. By the time Azul was twelve - nearly five years following his discovery of the existence of soulmates - he had searched every crevice of the Coral Sea with no luck; it was also around this time that he met the Leech twins - Floyd and Jade.

Jade was the oldest of the two by a few minutes and was very resourceful as well as very soft-spoke and courteous; his younger brother, Floyd, on the other hand was unpredictable due to his mood swings - he could be interested in one thing one minute and grow bored of it the next. The two moray mers had come across Azul during his younger days when they were in the same class together, watching with awe as his eight appendages hovered about his hidden grotto, writing inscriptions on shells and flipping through pages of grimoires. Originally, they weren’t sure what to make of him, but now that they knew about his capabilities from stories they heard about someone granting wishes for a price - the two were now invested in keeping Azul close to their sides.

And vice versa.

Eventually, the question of why he was doing it came up; Azul took the time to explain the story about how he had first learned about soulmates and how he had been searching the past five years for his, eventually coming to the conclusion that his other half was nowhere in the Coral Sea.

“I have searched every nook and cranny of these waters and have yet to find them,” Azul explained, pouring ingredients into a cauldron as he spoke, “Thus, I’m ‘using my resources’ to spread out the search for my other half.”

“So, some of your deals include gathering any information about a particular person whom you’ve never met nor spoken to?” Jade asked, very intrigued by Azul’s train of thought.

“Hah… sound boring,” Floyd chimed in, reclining atop of one of the rocks in the grotto.

“It’s more interesting than it sounds,” Azul answered, popping a cork off a bottle and dumping the contents into the cauldron as the liquid turned from pale pink to eerie green, “besides, the sooner I find them, the better off they’ll be. However, the problem here lies that if they’re not in the Coral Sea - then where are they?”

Neither of the twins could supply an answer.

It was also around this time that Azul’s appearance had also changed. Baby fat melted and hardened into muscle while his gut and belly dissolved into toned skin, chubby cheeks evolved into high cheekbones; his face sharpening into arched brows, thin lips, and a pointed nose - though his eyes, now filled with knowledge and pride, remained the same. Gone was - in Azul’s opinion - the fat crying octo-twerp of his youth as a handsome, defined sea witch stood in his place; a perfect figure that his soulmate would be proud of once they set sights on him.

The dramatic weight-loss and muscle built scared, not only Jade and Floyd, but also his own mother - whom he did speak to on seldom occasions due to her connections as the owner of the Atlantica Grotto Bistro, which was slowly becoming a local hot spot and where Azul worked full time as a waiter and assistant manager. It was also where he would lure unsuspecting victims - mainly those from his youth or clients with means - into signing his newly-perfected golden contracts, sealing their powers away for his own in exchange for whatever it was that they wished for. Of course, Azul’s mother never suspected a thing about her son’s side business - now a bit preoccupied with the courtship of an older squid mer who had slowly made a presence in her life as well as teaching Azul the fundamentals of building his own business.

When Azul, Jade, and Floyd reached the age of sixteen, they were invited to attend Night Raven College - a boys’ prestigious school for young mages. Azul’s mother had been proud of Azul’s accomplishment and Azul, himself, was secretly thankful that he would be given the chance to explore a different world versus hearing things through the grape vines from his sources. It was during his first year of attending that he made a name for himself, following practically in his mother’s and the Sea Witch’s footsteps; he was now the headwarden and the owner of the Mostro Lounge that his dorm - Octavinelle - operated on the school property. He also was the student others went to when they needed help or had a wish that only he could grant. Jade and Floyd both helped as well, taking his place into luring potential clients into his clutches.

Now, the three of them were entering their second year at NRC - and Azul was barely hanging on by a thread. For the past year on land - thanks to the potion he created that would allow himself, Jade, and Floyd to attend the school as humans - Azul had used his network of informants to extend his search for his other half.

He never forgot the promise he made to continue his search for his soulmate - the contracts were just a starting point to his grand scheme for searching for the person who would love and cherish him as no other could. By building a name for himself, Azul essentially had been given enough money to spend as much as he pleased for information about any leads and his extensive network of informants were at his beck-and-call should he need them to snoop out any potential tips he heard. He had cleared out both Harveston during winter break the previous year and the Queendom of Roses as well as the Shaftlands the previous summer before he was summoned to return to Night Raven. Sunset Savanna would be next on his list during the winter break this year and he would attempt Briar Valley over the summer.

But even that wasn't soon enough it seemed.

Azul’s spirit was practically crying out with each failed search, lead, and tip - nearly to the point that his soul was exhausted and he found himself hearing his mother’s chiding words in his inner ear again. But he was stubborn - incredibly so; and he made plans before leaving his home city again to extend any knowledge to him from outside the school’s barriers.

Azul sighed as the last first year was placed into their dorm, forcing a smile as he addressed his new students, crossing his arms over his chest, "New students! I congratulate you on your achievement. As the dorm head of Octavinelle, I am honored to have the opportunity to support you in what I hope will be a fulfilling campus experience.”

"Hey, does anyone know where the headmage went?" Azul arched his brow as the dorm head of Pomefiore, Vil Schoenheit, spoke, “He disappeared midway through the ceremony…”

"Some headmage he is," Idia Shroud, the head of Ignihyde, grumbled from his tablet that hovered in the chamber.

"Maybe he had a tummy ache?" the ever naive dorm head of Scarabia - Kalim Al-Asim - asked with a shrug.

The doors burst open as the head mage himself appeared, shouting, "I most certainly did not!"

"Ah, speak of the devil," Riddle Rosehearts, the dorm head of Heartslabyul, grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"If you must know," the headmage continued, pulling a cloaked figure along with him, their slender wrist tight in his grasp, "I was searching for the new student who failed to show for orientation. Come along, you are the only one who hasn't been assigned to a dorm - step up to the dark mirror and be quick about it. I'll hold onto your weasel."

Azul watched as the headmage pulled the figure along, causing them to stumble slightly, before he released them. The cloaked figure lifted their head, taking a tentative step towards the mirror as the headmage held tightly onto another being - a little gray cat creature with burning fire in his ears with eyes wider than saucer plates. Something about the shy figure had drawn Azul utmost attention as they stood before the dark mirror.

“State your name,” the mirror spoke, its voice deep and dark.

“I’m (Y/N),” you spoke, so quiet that everyone had to strain to hear them.

“(Y/N)... The nature of your soul is…” the dark mirror hesitated, narrowing its pitch-black eyes before announcing, “...unclear to me.”

“What did you just say?” the headmage crossed his arms over his chest as a murmur rippled through the crowd.

“I sense no magical power from this one,” the dark mirror answered, voice grim, “Soundless. Colorless. Shapeless. Utterly vacant… Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate.”

With his final answer, the headmage let out a cry, “Are you suggesting the black carriage went to recieve a person who cannot even use magic?! That is absurd! The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence!”

As head headmage continued to squawk in surprise, Azul nearly felt his heart stop in his chest when you looked in his direction.

As soon as your eyes locked with his, Azul knew.

His soulmate was here.

You were a pretty (h/c) with tints of (f/c) weaved into locks that framed your soft features hidden under the black and gold hood of the ceremonial robe you wore, the exotic eyes of (e/c) filled with wonder and surprise - with an underlying hint of fear, likely due to the shock of being called ‘abnormal’ by a piece of looking-glass. You looked about a few inches shorter than him - a perfect height for him to rest his chin upon your head - as a pleasant pink painted your cheeks, turning them into red delicious apples that tempted Azul to take a bite, and your jaw dropped slightly, lips parting with surprise.

Azul knew that you could feel the strong connection between your two souls - the pull he had searched the past decade for finally presenting itself in the shape of you. He found himself unable to look away, staring at you with quiet longing and lovestruck clearly written across his features.

“Azul?” Jade snickered, “What is-”

“I think octy just found what he was lookin’ for, Jade,” Floyd snickered, his eyes shifting between the startled first-year and their lovestruck boss.

“I quite agree,” Jade’s voice came out sickly smooth as his eyes shifted between the three of them, “this has just gotten interesting…”

Azul hardly noticed though the twins’ snickers in his ears, his thoughts were already running wild with ideas of how he wanted to spoil you - his found other half, his precious mate.

The problem now was that you were a non-magic user and a female to boot - nevermind that you had just been put on display like an exotic animal. The whispers that echoed in the chamber forced you to look away from the lovestruck second-year, your body quivering with fear and unease as he himself was brought back to reality.

‘How DARE they insult her while in my presence?’ Azul felt a growl bubble up in the back of his throat, his pale blues shifting from the crowd to his mate to the headmage and back again as his hands curled into fists under the sleeves of his cloak, ‘And how DARE the dark mirror put (Y/N) in this situation!’

“Headwardens,” the headmage’s voice echoed in the chamber, silencing every whisper as he took control of the situation, “please escort your students back to the dorms as the orientation is now complete.”

“What about (Y/N)?” the voice of Coach Vargas spoke up, “Surely you are not expecting someone like her to remain here?”

‘And you’re first on the list of people who will suffer my wrath for saying something so hostile to my mate,’ Azul thought, thinking of what the best way would be to attack the coach indirectly.

“This is a most unfortunate turn of events, yes,” the headmage agreed, tapping his chin in thought, “Due to you being female and that you are a non-magic user, I’m afraid I cannot allow you to attend Night Raven College. You seem like an amicable young lady, however this is an all-boy’s school and I cannot admit a student - male or female - with no magical ability. But fear not, the dark mirror will see you safely home.”

‘NO! You CAN’T!’ Azul was barely holding himself together at this point - he had just found his soulmate and now the world wanted the two of them to be separated forever?! He would not allow it!

Before he could act on impulse, the mirror’s deep voice echoed in the chamber, “There is no such place.”

“What?!” Crowley squawked again as murmurs rose from the crowd yet again.

“There is no place in this world where this soul belongs,” the dark mirror answered again, “None.”

“H-How can that be?!” Crowley asked, his hands shaking with an inner rage, “My, but today is a veritable cavalcade of impossible phenomena! This has never happened throughout my long tenure. I must confess I am at something of a loss.”

Azul could sense the sadness radiating from his mate as well. Were you disappointed that you couldn’t return from wherever you had come from? And if so, why would you want to go back if now you knew of his existence?

Perhaps a little persuasion was needed…

Azul smiled darkly, before taking a step forward, clearing his throat, “Headmage Crowley, I understand that all of us are at a loss of what to do with our strange guest - however, may I offer a solution to our little problem?”

“Master Ashengrotto,” Headmage Crowley crossed his arms over his chest, “I’m not certain what you mean. We must send (Y/N) back to where they came from.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Azul countered, shrugging while keeping his eyes trained on the headmage while he faked a painful look, “It is easy to return us to our homes, but we have no idea where she comes from - or if we can even get her back.”

“T-There must be a way though… right?” you spoke up, your eyes pleading with Azul’s.

“I hate to agree with Azul, but he’s right,” a tan-skinned, dark-haired figure spoke up, “If this herbivore is from another world entirely, the chances of getting them back are slim to none.”

“Leona is quite right on the money with that one,” Vil answered with a nod.

Azul smiled, knowing that the ripples of shock and disbelief were now falling onto the headmage for being incompetent in dealing with this matter. He couldn’t turn (Y/N) away now that Azul had spoken up with two additional dorm heads also taking his side.

“What do you propose then?” Headmage Crowley asked, eyeing the headwarden of Octavinelle uneasily.

“Octavinelle, as I’m sure you remember, has plenty of rooms for rent,” Azul answered, turning to (Y/N) with a reassuring smile, “As the dorm head, I will gladly take (Y/N) into my dorm where she can stay during her time here. If she’s agreeable, she can work within the Mostro Lounge to pay for a place to sleep and to have food in her belly.”

“I’m not sure, Master Ashengrotto…” Crowley spoke, rubbing his chin with a clawed gloved hand, “a single woman in a dorm filled with boys is highly improper…”

“Improper would be the term used for the predicament your so-called black carriage put you in,” Azul snipped, his eyes flashing dangerously at the headmage, “Besides - the rooms we rent are on the opposite side of the aquarium in our dorm, quite a ways away from the rooms the dorm members reside in for that particular purpose. We also have security within our dorm and I’m usually the one to deal with matters of… problematic nature.”

“Perhaps, however-”

“Consider it one less problem on your plate as well. If (Y/N) is brought to my dorm, I will take full responsibility for her - and I might be able to find a way to get her home in the process as well.”

“You what?” your eyes widen with hope, your hand reaching out and clasping the edge of his robe.

“I have an endless network of resources at my disposal, my dear - I can likely find you a quicker way to get home than you can with anyone else here,” Azul answered confidently, thinking, ‘Though you won’t know that since I found you. I’ve searched high and low for you, I’ll be damned if I let you slip from my grasp so easily.’

“Very well then,” Headmage Crowley let out a sigh, “(Y/N), are you agreeable with staying with the Octavinelle dorm and working at the Mostro Lounge until Master Ashengrotto can find a way to return you to your world?”

“Of course! Thank you so much, Mr. Ashengrotto!” you beamed with joy.

“Azul,” the dorm head answered with a nod, “please, call me Azul.”

“Azul, then.”

The human-cecaelian smiled sweetly at his soulmate and offered an arm out, his hearts practically bursting with joy when you slipped your own arm through his - the two of you now link together via soul and side by side.

***

Azul brought you to the Octavinelle’s renting dorm after ordering Jade and Floyd to start the welcoming party for the first years as well as to get them ready for tomorrow night.

“Do what you need to do,” Azul smiled at the two.

“Of course.”

“You got it, boss!”

When the two of them were out of earshot, you looked up at Azul, “Thank you so much for your help back there. I wasn’t certain what was going to happen if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“Likely the headmage would have thrown you out of the college and left you to fend for yourself,” Azul smiled, “but I, on the other hand, would never allow something so pitifully disgusting happen to you.”

You giggled, the sound pulling on Azul’s heartstrings.

‘She’s here, she’s real,’ his thoughts quickened as the two continued their leisurely pace, ‘I knew that she was real, that she and I would meet. It will only be a matter of time now - once she confesses her feelings for me, I will make her mine.’

The two stopped outside one of the doors, Azul pulled out a key ring and unlocked it before ushering his soulmate inside.

“You can stay here,” Azul answered, peering around and wishing that it was cleaner than it was now, “There’s spare blankets in the closet in case you get cold during the night and fresh towels in the bathroom. I’ll have Jade or Floyd bring you a spare pair of clothing since you’ve brought nothing with you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to…”

“I insist,” Azul answered, “What sort of host would I be if I didn’t provide the best service?”

You giggled again, your smile even wider, “Well, thank you again Azul.”

Each time you spoke his name, Azul’s heart gave a leap of joy.

He coughed, blushing slightly, “W-Well then, should you need anything during your time here, just let me know.”

“Of course, but - may I ask a question?”

“You already have,” Azul snickered at you.

Your pout was adorable that Azul burst into laughter before you asked, “Why were you willing to help me? A complete stranger?”

“I have a gift for sensing someone in need,” Azul answered, his grin spreading wider over his features, “I have helped many poor unfortunate souls in my short lifetime and intend on continuing to offer my services in exchange for something.”

“What sort of payment?”

“Depends - but it isn’t something you should worry about. I like to keep a few things in my personal life private - regardless of my relationships with other people.”

“Of course, I can respect that.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” Azul reached out, pushing the hood down and stroking your soft hair gently, “Why don’t you rest now? I have to attend the welcome party for the new students and make sure no one is destroying anything in my absence. I will have Jade or Floyd bring you something to eat in a little bit along with that fresh change of clothes. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss our contract.”

“Contract?”

“I always have my employees sign a business contract before they begin work - regardless how long they work in the lounge for,” Azul answered, “It helps to have things in writing when dealing with problems later down the road.”

With a nod, you grinned, “Thank you again, Azul-san.”

The cecaelia couldn’t help himself as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling away and leaving his other half to stare at him in shock and surprise.

When the door clicked behind him, Azul pulled the keyring out and locked the door to prevent anyone from entering and you from leaving. His eyes gleamed menacingly in the low light as a black gloved hand stroked the doorframe gently.

‘At last… you’re here with me, my precious pearl. Forgive me, but now that I have seen you… I can never let you go…’

640 notes · View notes

cinnamonest · 3 months

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we've talked about mommy darling and Rhinedottir darling before for Albedo; have we considered Alice darling? sweet momma (soft and squishy...) with just enough crazy to keep Albedo intrigued, and she's so much nicer than Rhine, really wants him to think of himself as part of the family. comes pre-packaged with a kid, too! and if i could be so bold, she's probably still lactating by the time Albedo comes along

only issue is the husband being in the picture still, which Albedo doesn't like, and the fact that you keep running off for Celestia knows what and leaving him behind, which Albedo really doesn't like. you put him in this family, take some responsibility. he won't tolerate a second neglectful momma- er, female... role model...

bless his little artificial heart, he's trying his damn best

In love with this concept anon, as much as I love Creator!Darling there's also an appeal to our baby boy getting this stark contrast of someone treating him nicely for the first time and having no idea how to handle it, developing an obsessive attachment but because it's Him™ he just cannot keep it healthy or sane, poor thing.

He finally gets to meet you after hearing about you before, and you're so sweet and gentle while you talk to him, but he just can't pay attention to anything you're saying because he can't un-glue his eyes from your blatantly swollen tits… it's not fair, it's too distracting. He likes to think of himself as mature and self-disciplined, so it's quite annoying and shameful that he feels so captivated, frustrating that he can't stop himself from looking.

Nor can he stop the weird feeling in his chest. Especially if it's shortly after his abandonment — he's in a state of emotional distress and pain, feels so lost and unwanted and here you are all sweet and doting. It's not just that it's a substitution for his Master, rather, you're nicer and sweeter l, in all his life he's never been treated so well.

Master was always so harsh and biting in her tone, always criticizing him, always manipulating him with threats to leave — and until now, that's really all he's known. But you, you're sweet, even if there's more distance between you two because you don't know each other as well. You smile at him and say nice things, you ask him about himself, you tell him to let me know if you need anything.

It feels strange. It's uncomfortable, in a way, feels like someone peering into his mind and heart, it's vulnerable and makes him squirm, yet, it feels good, he likes it, despite the discomfort. He’s not naive nor lacking self-awareness. He can recognize it for what it is from the start, and for that reason, he desperately seals it away early on, knowing it would not work, knowing you have a family, knowing there's a gap in your stages of life and maturity.

But it’s not wrong to notice you like him, right? Even if not in the same way. He knows you feel positively towards him.

It really hits him hard when, once day, there's some virus or another going around, he catches it and ends up having to stay at home sick, in the little lodging he's been provided in the town. He thinks nothing of it until you come knocking on the door.

You sigh in relief when he opens the door, say you were worried when you hadn't seen him all day. Your eyes widen when he explains (with a stammer he hopes you don't notice) that he's sick.

And your reaction feels so foreign. He's used to a sharp glare, a frustrated sigh, being told to suck it up and get over it and stop making excuses. But you, you start to fuss and coo at him, tell him to go rest, say something about how you'll get him some hot tea and run off, leaving him standing there, staring at the empty hall.

You noticed he was absent. He crossed your mind. It makes sense, in a way, but it just feels so… warm, fuzzy.

He crossed your mind. You think about him. You missed him. How much do you think about him? Do you do it every day? How much space in your mind does he occupy? How significant is he to you? There's this swelling feeling in his chest.

But he's often realistic to the point of pessimism, and so he suppresses the childishly hopeful thoughts with bitter self-criticism — telling himself he's being foolish and ridiculous and self-important to think it's anything more than just by chance, that you just happened to think of him for some reason. Taking that innate sense of wishful thinking in the most vulnerable depths of the heart and crushing it himself before reality does it for him. Less painful that way. It doesn't mean anything, he shouldn't hope for anything, he can't let himself form feelings that are just going to bring him pain in the long run.

And he does try to distance himself from you, for some time. It's like a form of addiction — he really does try, but he finds himself moving on a mental-autopilot anyway, seeking you out, letting the words of are you doing anything later? fall out of his mouth on their own and feeling so elated when you happily, willingly spend time with him.

And in time, he even lets himself start to think too much, stops pushing away those absurd thoughts that he knows better than to allow himself to have because he knows that if he has those thoughts and lets them fester, he's just going to get hurt, because the fantasies will never come to fruition, the feelings will never be reciprocated. He lets himself feel some sense of pride and pure bliss and vague sense of irrational hope when you tell him how grateful you are that he takes such good care of your precious girl when you ask him to look after her and how you're so happy he's bonded to her and tell him that she really looks up to him.

Lets himself bask in your praise and lets himself ride the euphoric high a single nice word from you brings him all day, rather than suppressing it. Lets himself look forward to seeing you, something he felt was only going to go badly for him and thus suppressed before.

Lets himself indulge in long drawn-out fantasies that he knows are so unrealistic and shameful, gradually progressing over time from embarrassingly vulnerable thoughts of your praise and kindness and affection, allowing the depravity and perversion he's repressed to slowly seep out further and further until the fantasies progress into those that have him locking his door and panting and gripping the table with his other hand until he's shivering and slouched over in the shameful clarity that follows.

He also tries to fight these thoughts and feelings initially not only because they're shameful and vulnerable, but because these feelings are accompanied by a much darker feelings, too.

One that is strictly unpleasant, rather than the other, more confusing uncomfortable-but-good feelings. This burning, twisting feeling in his gut and chest, whenever he sees you with others, particularly when you smile or laugh. The way the bitter heat blazes whenever he thinks about the fact that you had to be with some other man to have your child. The way his muscles tense and his eye twitches and he grips his utensils harder as he works. He's certain those feelings aren't good — rather, they're very bad, dangerous even.

The other is the longing, yearning pain when you're gone. He has to struggle to summon the motivation to work — what's the point, when he won't see you all day? The work itself isn't motivating enough anymore like it used to be — something that concerns him, yet remains true all the same. He works slower, he mopes, he doesn't do much of anything until you return, at which point his mood suddenly does a complete reversal, and he feels happy and good and motivated again. He knows that's not good, he knows that degree of dependency is alarming, but it's beyond his ability to resolve. It's a frustrating feeling, identifying a problem but having no way to resolve it.

The feeling of frustration only grows when the yearning itself begins to metamorphosize. It shifts over time, a sad longing that begins to turn to frustration, then bitterness, and finally reaches a low, dark resentment. One he knows is irrational, but the thoughts come anyway — why would you leave him alone here? What's more important than he is? Doesn't he deserve to have you stay with him? Don't you realize he's sad when you're gone?

Didn't you once say you'd be there if he ever needed anything? That you'd help him in any way you could? How do you intend to do that when you're gone so often, huh?

These thoughts can only grow worse with time, and yet, by this point, it's not a matter of letting himself do anything — the thoughts just happen, flowing out without any reign, and even if he tries to summon some restraint, they just slip through. Spiteful, bitter, vengeful, selfish, childish thoughts, darker —

(If you're just going to use him to take care of your kid, shouldn't you treat him like a partner, too? Isn't that selfish of you to not give that to him? Doesn't he do a lot for you? Doesn't he deserve a reward?)

— and darker and darker —

(Maybe you do know how he feels. You're just pretending not to. You know. You're just using him. You're taking advantage of him.)

— and he lets his mind sink to its lowest point.

You're just like her.

Yes, the bitterness gets strong. A sense of entitlement, frustration, a sense of transgression. You just dump your kid off on him to help care for, and then leave? And then you have the audacity to give him money, gifts, so on and so on when your return from your long trips.

As if that's what he wants, as if he cares about things like that. It feels insulting, almost, he'd rather have nothing if you're not going to give him what he actually wants. It feels like some pathetic attempt at substituting, even if rationally, he knows you don't mean it that way.

But bitterness easily overrides rationality, and so maybe he can let himself feel that way. Let himself feel a bit mad about it. Let himself grind his teeth and clench his hand into a fist when you start talking about your next journey you're planning, even if he responds with perfect calmness in his voice, a skill that strikes him as increasingly remarkable when he's so so so damn mad on the inside.

And maybe, if the frustration becomes more than he can bear, if it overrides his sense and inhibition entirely, he can finally let himself act on it too…

#.al

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alliebirb · 4 months

Note

ok your revo children ocs are a d o r b s 🥹🥹🥹 do you have any headcanons on them?? tell us moreee

Beloved revo bby anon………. i am so sorry it has taken me so long to return to you……… but i thought of you out on the battlefield……. Stored this ask in a locket that ended up saving me from a bullet….. i hope you will accept several chiyoko and senbi arts as my apology for leaving you at the window for so long.

anyways:

RAGGHHHHHH💝💝💕💖💖💕💕💖💖⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT MY GRANDCHILDREN ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ i would LOVE to give some hcs!!!!!!

A LOT of senbi and chiyoko fun facts and arts below the cut!!!

Chiyoko!!!!

- first meets atem when she’s 4, and oml within like 2 months she has him wrapped around her little finger just like her momma

- She would follow atem around like a shadow, cheerfully parroting atem’s greetings to palace guards the the royal court

-except set, she’ll hide behind atem under his cape if she sees him coming. set isnt trying to scare her or anything, he just has major rbf, is like 6’3, and doesnt know how to approach talking to children. Atem tries his best to get them to converse but set just shuffles awkwardly as his cousin tries to get chiroko to relinquish her death grip on his tunic.

- older than her brother by 5-6 years, and is so so so excited when senbi is born!!!!! little baby brother!!!!!! stays protective of him (and anzu) from when he was an infant into adult years (also atem to an extent)

- chiyo would get along with mana like 2 peas in a pod!! Mahad would love her to b i t s, but his calmer, more paternal/fraternal energy towards atem would multiply with chiyoko and he would treat her like small precious baby while mana is just like “hey kiddo wanna see me turn your dad into a frog real quick” just to see her laugh (and fuck with atem, two birds, one stone)

- she went through ages 5-8 fully believing that atem was her biological father and would constantly be asking when her multicolored hair would come in. Atem never had the heart to tell her and would just say “wont be long now!!” Anzu had to break the news and chiyoko went through the evening with her arms crossed pointedly turning her entire body away from Atem.

- When she turned 16, she ended up dip dying her hair red and anzu complimented how nice it looked while atem sobbed into her shoulder (i will forever hold art of this from @shinayashipper SO close to my heart)

- they may not be biologically related, but i stg, chiyoko inherited atem’s competitive love of games through osmosis

- That combined with anzu’s determination leads to a tyrannical warlord during family uno

- thinks jonouchi is the coolest EVER and jonouchi actively rubs his favorite uncle status diRECTLY into honda’s face

- secretly thinks mai is even cooler but is too spooked to talk to her

- Also gets really close to anzu’s dad, and gets SO excited to spend summer days in the countryside catching beetles and wading through creeks! She runs ahead while Hitoshi holds senbi’s hand and answers his gardening questions

- Definitely comes home every day after school with an absurd amount of dirt and grass stains

- grows up with confidence and assuredness to rival her parents

- fun fact!! Chiyoko is named after the mc from satoshi kon’s Millennium Actress since in convergence (longfic concept where she first came up) she’s yanked around with anzu in the time travel mumbo jumbo from japan to egypt

- as she grows up, chiyoko ends up looking v v similar to anzu’s mom, but just replace kiori’s scowl and gray eyes with a smile and hitoshi’s brown eyes (more oc stuff). Also v fashionable!!!

Senbi:

- born when anzu and atem are in their late twenties, post-marriage, and while he has some of atem’s hair coloration style and skin tone, his eyes and hair color are all anzu - much to anzu’s dismay and atem’s adoration (atem is now tied around two little fingers at once)

- Shy boy!!! When he was small, there was always one hand holding onto to atem or anzu’s pants leg or holding chiyo’s hand

- Doesn’t have a competitive bone in his body, just wants to have fun and tbh, doesnt love games all that much!

- older senbi would love watching chiyoko and atem go ham on each other during games and will be sharing popcorn with anzu as they both roll their eyes

- as a child, likes to sit with anzu quietly and read his picture books, or sit on atem’s lap as he works through a crossword

- Senbi always takes a while to go to sleep and when he was little, anzu would sit in his bed and read aloud whatever performance arts book she’s been reading. Eventually, he would fall asleep, but many times, Atem wakes up alone and walks in to senbi’s room to see anzu conked out.

- Senbi and yugi rlly vibe and have the same wallflower energy so!! He always gets rlly excited when yugi comes to visit, bringing him to his room to show him all the cool picture books he got from the library this week

- To which yugi ofc sits there as happy as can be and engaging with everything “omg i LOVE robots, what’s that one about??? :DD”

- ((Many years later, senbi would start working on his own color tattoo sleeve bc he’s always thought yugi’s looked SO COOL, and if yugi learned this he would be sobbing on the floor))

- and unlike chiyo, out of atem’s pseudo-siblings, bibi would definitely get along best with Mahad, and would love to just sit in his study with him and watch Mahad write on scrolls and test spells

- would have one of those city apartments stuffed full of plants and books

-Chiyoko was always the protective older sister, he could yell for her and she would come barreling in from wherever she was, ready to throw down. This still stands true into adulthood, though chiyoko is more likely to verbally assault someone than punch them

- while chiyoko would love looking for all the bugs and frogs and snakes on the family summer trips to the countryside, senbi would not. One time, chiyoko was excitedly showing everyone the giant beetle she found and it flew right towards senbi’s face. Atem had to spend the rest of the day inside with senbi watching cartoons.

- Jono and Honda like pulling little scare pranks on chiyoko as she loves chasing them around for retribution, but if they accidentally spook senbi as collateral, anzu’s hitting them with a chair

- really into art and while he cant draw amazingly, he loves visiting artist exhibitions and alleys. will spend his entire paycheck.

- would be a tattoo artist!

THANK YOU AGAIN SM FOR THIS ASK IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG BUT I NEEDED TO GIVE IT THE ATTENTION IT DESERVED!!!!!

may the cat revo bbies bless you and PLEASE come into my askbox again, i SWEAR i will be faster……. Probably…

#revo bby anon my beloved #this ask kept me warm on cold winter nights #alliebirb art #ramblings #chiyoko & senbi #revolutionshipping #asks

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jackhues · 1 year

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in my own imagination lol i imagine sid having a daughter when he was younger, so now she’s like 14-15. i imagine sid being a single dad, that’s why he’s so private. but when he retires, i see him remarrying and having more kids.

just imagine the constant chirping and fighting between her and nat bc he really is her big brother

ooh i love this!!

it was probably a fling or his baby momma wasn't the best mom, so sid took custody. i think he'd have gotten custody of his girl when she was a baby, so like his parents are helping him take care of her as much as they can, but sid's got to go back to pittsburgh, and his mom suggests that she comes with him to help out, and sid agrees. she's there for the baby's first year, helping out when sid's on road trips / playing late games and stuff. the next year, sid tells her she can stay home bcz his girl's like over a year and half or so, and he doesn't want his mom to have to do so much bcz at the end of the day, it's his kid. so he goes back to pittsburgh and at first, it's not easy. like she doesn't cry or anything, but it's just rlly hard to schedule everything.

one of the older pens suggests dropping her off with his wife and kids when they're gone. and bcz sid doesn't trust a babysitter at that point, he agrees to that. so the girl's pretty much a team baby, but like she sees the boys come and go as they get traded. sid doesn't bring her out very much, but he'll make exceptions for certain occasions. he takes her to a few of the asg that she rlly wants to come to, and while he's hesitant, he sees her having a blast and doesn't regret his decision. she's around 6/7/8 when the pens win the stanley cup back to back and she's there for the final games, cheering her dad on.

the media knows she exists and that sid prefers to be private about her. whenever she's out with her dad, she's grown used to cameras focusing on her at random times, which is why sid prefers for her to watch from home/a friend's house. when they see sid win the cup, and him going straight to her to celebrate the win, the entire world just loses it bcz they're so cute.

after sid retires, he remarries and she's super happy with this. sid has more kids (two or three more girls), but his first girl always remains his baby <3

also her and nate would have such a sibling-coded relationship. like the two are just calling each other names and making fun of each other (all jokes), and sid's like "stop fighting." in one voice the two always respond, "we're not fighting."

send in concepts!

#sidney crosby #dad! sidney crosby #naqia writes!#send in stuff!#buttercup's world! au

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gladiatorcunt · 5 days

Note

Didn’t know you were a kpop fan babe 😧 Kinda not surprised, but still… Your faves?

“kinda not surprised” erm

(i got into it like around 2015 and i typically go for 3rd gen to earlier when it comes to music, also i don’t interact with any fandoms on social media anymore since i’ve gotten older (and i don’t rlly keep up with the idols themselves) beyond what edits i see or what gets so popular i have to see it on my fyp)

red velvet (my girlies)

loona (haseul could’ve been the baekhyun of loona if they used her properly beyond 1 line)

exo (masterclass in discography and actually being a capital i idol but also mess and mismanagement, arguably a big part of some of their issues is the tension between sk and china, etc.)

vixx (still a fair bit underrated imo when you consider how long they’ve been active, their vocal ability, being known for their concepts, like ughhhhh leo is one of the only idols who i will be like ‘that’s my husband and we have 6 kids <3’ about)

monsta x (very solid discography, talented, rappers that genuinely have something which there a lot of rappers in kpop groups just bc they’re trying to get appeal, still mildly irritated over the wonho thing bc the way companies deal with stuff like that when the idol is innocent is just so annoying. queen is one of the best bsides in kpop history.)

ramble under the cut

honorary shinee (jonghyun is my golden standard male vocalist), boa, snsd, sunmi, btob mentions

unfortunately jay park is cute and i do like mommae, dean’s like one album he did (i didn’t listen to the other one if that even was a full second album), i used to fw hyuna but she’s pissed me the fuck off

fave time out jail ig: bts (just really grew out of being into them ig since boy with luv came out, some of their tiktok fanbase proudly bullying people and how i feel about the quality of their music now (missing house of cards type quality) + the western validation debate + being on tumblr when people made jungkook’s whole personality at 19 yrs old being goo goo ga ga over banana milk and having a noona kink)), nct (the t*eil thing, but imo if people like that want to hide then they will so i think at least some of the members didn’t know, i don’t keep up with that so i’m not sure if any other info has since come out. i believe he did it with how things are rn and as a csa survivor i just feel a bit gross with being overly supportive of them)

and then there is the can of worms that is the group named after colors (another case where imo they were better earlier on, playing with fire >>>>)

i don’t really have any 4th gen faves, i love ateez and i like some stray title tracks (as in random not stray kids lmao) & bsides from groups here and there

i have mixed feelings about 4-5th gen (imo music is not the focus so much as international reach and social media presence), riize (wonbin is so fine though like sm employs pretty boy idols and refuses to manage them properly) and new jeans (i really wished i liked their music because literally everyone else does), ive’s title tracks are pretty solid (i don’t know anything about their bsides), le sserafim is ehhhhhhhh (i think i literally only like anti fragile + they do need to improve technically for me), enhyphen (i will say is the closet to being a fave for me because i eat up their obsessive songs that are apparently about their webtoon???????? and that one jyp cover (i assume bc he was there) bangs, also again they’re fine 😖)

for the life of me i can’t fully commit to aespa but their concept is cool (and the lore should stick to them and not be attached to every sm group imo)

talking about the songs i like & listen to regularly/industry opinions is a different discussion (that i dipped into too much here) i fear so i’ll shut up!!! i could probably get back into it if a company debuted a group and was like ‘안녕하세요! we are D.I.L.F!’ and the members are all at least in their mid 40’s and they groan when they try to bow

#sorry #one of my fics is called love on the floor and one of my old themes was based on an exo song…….#🎧.asks

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lazaruspiss · 1 year

Note

hi there! i dig your blog! was wondering what some of your favorite explicit brudick fics might be or what your favorite kinks are for them! sorry if that’s a bizarre question lol

ooooooooo good question, funny enough i'm really bad about bookmarking fics, which makes me bad at recommending them by extension. (trying to get better about that)

adding a cut bc um. i love them. <-(talks too much)

I love brudick fics that go all the way to the dark end of things, give me archive warnings galore!! i love robin dick ones, esp combined with possessiveness and/or bruce having this idealized versions of things. bruce being Delusional is so fun to me, whether that being "it's fine, he's not a boy he's my partner" or "he loves me, don't mind the tears" etc etc, just whatever groomer justification imaginable. and i can go any which way with how dick feels. dick fighting every step of the way but still Belonging to bruce, or dick really thinking he wants this but he doesn't understand what he's asking for, either way he's in desperate need for therapy after.

hhh. kinks. there's probably some that show in my rambly paragraph but i wanna make a list too

1) whatever "this is 100% bdsm disguised as training" is called

2) virginityyyyyyyy...... toxic concept irl but very fun in porn

3) SECRETS. anything can be a kink if u believe. bruces secret boywife...

4) Possessiveness. also, bruce sure seems composed but if he goes a week without having dick around he goes insane. [bite bite] "he must be Mine forever" etc etc. the titans think bruce is just straight up beating him and dicks "i don't mind, it helps him feel better" attitude does NOT help things. bruce def has several trackers in dicks body. he doesn't use them for sending backup or helping him or anything, theyre just for stalking <3

5) the cyclical bruce treats him well, does smth absolutely abhorrent, they make up, bruce gradually lowers the bar for what "treating him well" means until dick treats anything above murder as a show of kindness. can u tell that i like (fictional) unhealthy relationships.

6) bruce absolutely wrecking dick and still expecting dick to take care of him after. bc bruce is a momma's boy fr, and dick is Absolutely his mom-wife. u know the het couple dynamic of the husband expecting the wife to always do shit for him? they're like that. mom/wife/baby, dick really does it all smh

ah. my list has turned into rambly paragraphs. my autistic swag besmirches me.

#asks #talxns #brudick

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yuriririnnie · 10 months

Text

Someone Great

A/N: I haven’t written fanfiction ever since I temporarily gave up hardcore fangirling a couple of years back. I’m so out of touch, but creativity has been creeping onto me lately because law school is eating up most of my life.

Do you wanna guess who she'll end up with? :)

Prelude and part one under the cut! ❤

—

PAIRING | Park Jongseong (Jay) x reader

WC | 1.6k

GENRE | fluff, angst, slice of life

WARNINGS | explicit language

SYNOPSIS | I was told that I was going to love six boys in my life before I meet the one I'm going to love forever.

—

PRELUDE

Seven boys. I am going to love seven boys in this lifetime.

I went to a Chinese temple once when I was 10 because my mother was a hardcore fortune junkie and believed in these superstitions. She made (forced more like it) me come with her to see if I was going to grow up rich or something and while I myself didn’t believe in it, I let her do what she wanted because really at that point in life I never saw myself as anything or anyone once I reached my twenties.

Not sure if they still have this now, but I inserted a coin in what looked like a gacha machine and pulled out a piece of paper (I vividly remember that I pulled a number 15) which supposedly contained my future and how life would be like for me in terms of health, wealth, love, and everything else.

It said that I would meet and love exactly six men in my life before I meet the one for me. Back then I never obsessed on boys or the idea of dating in general, but as a young girl, it sparked my interest because the concept of love was something new. I kept that single piece of paper until I graduated college.

—

ONE. THE FIRST.

Everyone remembers their first. First crush, first date, first hug, the first hand they’ve ever felt, and the first pair of lips they’ve ever touched with their own.

His name was Park Jongseong. We called him Jay.

Jay was the perfect first love. He was handsome, kind, lit up the room whenever he entered, valued his friendships, and was the ultimate momma’s boy. I met Jay when I was 13. He was 14, an only child of a business man, learned how to drive at 16, and was the boy of my dreams.

He was tall, slender, had jet black hair that was often pushed back to show his sharp, manly features. He had a small scar at the top of his nose in between his eyes, and often had a cut in the middle of his lower lip. At first it made him look like a bad boy, someone your mother wouldn’t dream of you ever end up dating. But deep inside, he was kind, caring, and really embodied my love language (which is of course, acts of service). I dedicated literally every Taylor Swift song to him and thought that I was going to love him forever.

I vaguely remember the day we met, but I do remember the first time I went out with him. I was so impressed by how much he spent on me considering we were just kids and didn’t really get much for a weekly allowance (at least that was the case for me). He was every boy a girl could ever hope their first love would be. He treated me to lunch, held my hand in the movie theater, and I even got my first kiss when he dropped me home that one day.

“I’ve never done this before.” Because I really hadn’t yet. The closest form of intimacy I’ve ever had were hugs and hand-holding, and most of these didn’t even come from certain “significant others.”

“Just close your eyes.” He seemed experienced.

Was I supposed to feel embarrassed for not knowing where to put my hands? When should I open my eyes? Should I say thank you afterwards?

See, these are the things I wished they taught us at school.

And then, in the midst of all this overthinking, our lips touched.

My first kiss was memorable because we laughed it off immediately after. He asked me how it was and I replied with, “Felt like a rough wilderness, but I guess it’ll feel better later on.” He never let that go because it was the object of literally every inside joke we have among our friends.

Jay took care of me a lot. He made sure that I ate during lunch and that I received gifts every “monthly anniversary.” He took me to the movies, drove me around, even taking the long ways to places just so we can spend more time sightseeing. He would hold the door for me, carry my heavy bags full of high school necessities, and wipe the sweat off my forehead after cheerleading practice.

We had a lot of fun dating throughout those years, but when I turned 16, I got more and more exposed to school activities, boys in general, and learned more about myself and what I loved doing. Jay was extremely supportive in the things I did, and even if I didn’t get along that much with his mom, he continued to love me as though I was the only woman in his life.

One fateful morning, I woke up after a busy day at school (we stayed up until midnight for a runway where I had to represent my class and model for the students who helped design clothes based on a theme) and I’m not sure if it was due to exhaustion or the gradual turn of events between Jay and I, but this was something I will always remember even up to this day.

It was the day I realized that I was no longer in love.

Going back to that very day, I was so angry, frustrated, and even disgusted with myself for even thinking about dumping my dear boyfriend. My dear, sweet, caring, Jay who treated me like I was glass. But the hardest part of it was accepting the fact that I no longer felt the same. I no longer felt the heat of the sun in my body whenever we touched. I no longer felt the sweetness in the laughs that we shared. I no longer felt the butterflies in my stomach when in fact it used to feel like there was an entire amazon in there. Everything just felt so empty. Was that how it was supposed to feel like?

I forgot when and at what point I stopped loving Jay, but I knew that he did not deserve me the very moment I even started to doubt my feelings. The night before I finally admitted to myself that I no longer loved him was actually NORMAL. He picked me up from school, we laughed, shared stories, held hands, and even kissed before I hopped off the car when I reached home. Yet, I knew I couldn’t keep these feelings away from him. I couldn’t hide them in the depths of my young heart. I was just too small, and the feeling only grew more as I made every little thing that he did for me a big deal.

“Did I do something wrong?” He choked. I felt the shock from his voice. He sounded like he felt every kind of negative emotion all at once.

I took a deep breath and said, “I just don’t think I feel the same anymore.”

“All of a sudden? Have you been feeling like this for a while?”

“I don’t know.” I really didn’t know. I just knew that even if I was still so young at the time, I spent three years of my young age with Jay. It was my first time ever sharing a huge chunk of my life to someone else. Back then, it felt like a mini-forever.

It was a 23-minute phone call.

We broke up that night, and I cried myself to sleep for the first time.

It was my first heartbreak, and it wasn’t even for a guy who hurt me. He didn’t even try to hurt me.

Jay lingered for a while. I understood why he held such as a special place in my life and I knew that he was someone my young heart had to experience to know what it was really like to reciprocate a feeling. He was my first leap of faith, my dip in the pool before I dove in, the sweet sensation at the tip of my tongue before I took a bite. I still so clearly remember how he held me the first time we hugged, and the scar he had on his lip when we first kissed.

I was his first love, and he mine.

#blog #kpop #kpop bg #kpop boys #enhypen jay #enhypen #park jongseong #jay x reader #someone great #fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fluff

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calronhunt · 4 months

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Can you tell us more about Cassiel? And maybe Gabriel? Your BBD stuff is really interesting and I'd love to hear any trivia you could share!

Thank you so much! And yeah of course I can!

Cassiel is the second eldest prince of hell (hes only one year younger than Gabriel) and the only one who's biological mother is Theo not Ariel. This makes Cassiel a Hellborn only in name and not in blood or anything else. This causes a lot of problems for Cassiel like 1) he cannot become king no matter what 2) if his mothers were to divorce all of the privileges he has as a prince would be forfeit ei. Stripped of his title and would become a commoner with his mother. It doesn't help that Hellborns have always been the rulers and are easy to identify (they're the only demons who have wings) which makes Cassiel stick out like a sore thumb (along with Raphael but the reason he doesn't have wings is his human heritage not his lack of hellborn blood)

(also there IS a reason the Hellborns are very specific about only children in the hellborn bloodline getting the throne. It's spoilers and it doesn't justify how Cassiel is treated at all but there IS a reason for it)

Cassiel otherwise acts very professional and talks very formally. He knows about his position, and he knows first hand how.....strained his mothers relationship is, he wants to prove to a lot of people that he's just as much of a hellborn as anyone else. He got along REALLY well with Gabriel when they were kids but when it came out he was unable to get the throne, he grew bitter towards Gabriel. In current time, he fully hates Gabriel, but doesn't show that off, tying into his professionalism. He has also been forming closer bonds with Raphael. They are both the black sheep of the family and thinks that Raphael's resentment towards how the system has treated him as well could help Cassiel.

He's also a little bit of an alcoholic. Drinking habits when you're a teen bite your ass

Gabriel on the otherhand is the eldest of the siblings and maybe the only Ariel defender out there. He's a total momma's boy. He would rather blame the hardships the family goes through on everyone else than the actual source of it all (Ariel). In particular, he blames most of it on Raphael. Raphael's conception was "the straw that broke the camel's back" and caused everything unsaid to Become Very Much Said. From Gabriel's perspective everything would be FINE if Raphael never existed at all. As Raphael was growing up he would verbally and physically abuse Raphael. Their parents did SOMETHING right by making Gabriel not act like that in public or around others, but Gabriel still very much did it when the two were alone. He fully believes he's in the right to act this way.

He is also the crowned prince and is working towards ascending to the throne soon. In current day that's mostly what he's stressing over. He's still disgusted by Raphael and makes it very known, but Ariel's been breathing down his neck about kinghood and proper behavior, and that's been more annoying to him.

#ask #blood brings dawn #SORRY NONE OF THESE GUYS ARE NORMALLLLL #abuse ment #for the gabriel stuff a little bit

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thiefking · 2 years

Text

wait i need to talk about lucero and arven. and lucero in general because i like him. this is lucero btw

lucero facts: rich little white boy. used to not be rich, actually, used to be a little orphan boy, but he got adopted and his mom loves him so much and he is a massive momma's boy. that sprigatito is not actually his starter, that's his pet (a la ash ketchum and pikachu, sprigatito/basil is basically always out of its pokeball and is holding an everstone. it doesn't battle), his starter was quaxly. he is obnoxious and rude and pretentious and talks down to people unless he thinks they are equal to or above him in status and then he sums up a bit of politeness, he treats nemona with respect. his only Obviously Positive character trait at the start is how much he genuinely loves his pokemon and despite picking pretty pokemon and choosing to dress them up and style them he isn't forcing them or anything and doesn't treat them like objects or accessories, he is especially fond of cats

here is the storyline he follows. and how he and arven are brothers. i can't readmore because mobile so bear with me

lucero mostly focused on gyms for a good while because he thought he was just Supposed to do that because of Course he has to be a strong battler... obviously... and nemona encourages him to do it and of course he simply MUST impress his upperclassmen. but somewhere inside (won't admit this, probably does not even realize) something feels empty about it

and then on a whim he helps arven out, because lucero is also very interested in pursuing an education, and potentially discovering a new pokemon does interest him even if he doubts the cryptid nonsense is real. and then lo and behold there really was a titan! so he's like. okay. sure. i can help a little more

and then after the second one where arven tells you about mabosstiff's situation. he's like getting teary-eyed recounting it and he's like "augh here i go crying over it again... sorry about th—" and then slow camera pan over to lucero who is making the most pathetic expression in yhe world crying his eyes out about arven's yuppy yog. and arven is just like um... you okqy little buddy...? and lucero instantly swears fealty to arven and will die for his cause . puts all of his focus into helping arven even overexerts himself only going to tackle more gyms when the titans are too strong for his pokemon to handle

(this is because lucero prior to being adopted was in a similar situation to arven and mabosstiff. and was not as lucky. no herba mystica here brother this is fucking real... this same event led to lucero's mysophobia as well because he and his pokemon both got attacked with a lot of status condition-inducing moves specifically poison and his pokemon tried to defend him and thus took the brunt of it but lucero still got a HEAP of poison in his system and both of them very urgently needed medical care afterwards)

i think he doesn't tell arven this at first. maybe never. after being forced to retreat from a battle with a titan i think arven might confront him a little about how he's rushing through these but i don't know if he would Ask why lucero is so determined or if he would just. figure it out and not say it but the brotherhood has been formed

and then. okay the other thing about lucero is he is actually a rival character more than a player character while still being a main protag, if that makes sense. so he either doesn't have a miraidon or he has a different one than the Important one, and he lives in a different house than the one the sv protag lives in. ok? i will be using mariano who is my friend ryan's oc as the sv player character for the rest of this explanation just for convenience because sv player/protag is unwieldy (and we have had concepts and ideas together)

so following this. everyone goes down to area zero together as usual but very importantly arven specifically gives the violet book to lucero, because he trusts him more than mariano. lucero and mariano head into the lab together and when ai turo tells them to put the book in lucero refuses and has to be Thoroughly convinced to and he keeps arguing that he can't and he wants to wait for arven to get here first but he gives in or gets convinced otherwise

and then later. when fighting the other miraidon, since lucero doesn't have THE miraidon he can't help mariano fight...

..........

....... or can he. all pokeballs were locked other than turo's, but basil was never IN its pokeball to begin with... that's rigbt baby basil joins the fight (much to lucero's surprise, but he doesn't try to stop it) and discards its everstone to evolve twice and help take down the opponent miraidon AND THUS REPRESENTING a catharsis and lucero's growth where emotionally he can start to get over his previous pet pokemon's death by letting basil fight for him and defend him against a threat that might have killed both of them

and then turo leaves and lucero and arven both sob their way home and lucero once again cries way longer and drags arven all the way back to his house to demand that his mother adopt him (arven is like 20) (she says yes anyway)

and then after this. looong after this like this is a lifelong project thing. lucero looks into the time machine a bit to see if he can get it running WITHOUT causing more issues, like sending probes out, and his primary motivation for this is getting in touch with ai turo. lucero's main lifelong profession however will be as a professor studying how love affects pokemon (LOVE IS THE ENTIRE CORE OF HIS CHARACTER OK?) and how the relationship between humans and pokemon affect each others' developments, which is part of why he has an excuse to look into the time travel thing

#txt #oc talk #lucero #sv spoilers

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friedwangsss · 2 years

Text

LET’S PLAY HOUSE UNIVERSE. | young austin!elvis x young black!reader

notes : “ever since you and elvis played house, your feelings for him have changed.”

extra notes : thankfully i was able to remember some of what i wrote before tumblr crashed. thought this was a cute concept for writing them when they were younger and i’m definitely doing something like this for elvis’ pov!!!

“see ya later, elvis. tell ya momma i said i’ll be around to see her soon.” your mom handed elvis a wrapped up dish that you three had for dinner that night.

“yes, ma’am. she said she can’t wait to see you again.” he smiled and waved at the both of us and walked out the door.

you momma watched him a few more moments, making sure he could make it home nicely before closing the door. “such a sweet boy, ain’t he?”

“yes momma,” you walked back into the kitchen/dining area and cleared the rest of the table. elvis had given you another dance lesson in the kitchen just a few hours before your momma came back from work. you had heard her at the porch and quickly told elvis to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything bad. she came into the house and saw elvis and said he could stay for dinner.

elvis teaching you how to dance really started to mess with your young mind.

him saying that playing house with you is fun and that it wouldn’t be too bad kissing him if you gave him the chance (you still giggled and told him no). just elvis being in a close proximity with you was enough for you to realize that he wasn’t just a friend to you.

“momma,” you called out as you placed the drinking cup in this sink. “can i ask you something?”

“of course, baby. come sit on the couch.”

you made your way into the little family room, sitting on the couch. you didn’t know how to approach it so you tried to find the right words, playing with the hem of your dress.

“y/n, i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s buggin’ you, baby.”

“yeah, i know. i just..” you sighed. “i don’t know how to say it.”

your mom hummed. “i see,” she looked up before looking back at you. “how about this: i’m gonna name something—or someone—and you tell me whether or not it’s what you’re thinking about. sound good?”

you nodded.

“a’ight. so, elvis has been here quite a bit.. is it about him?”

you nodded, fingers still fiddling with your dress.

“okay,” she lets a tiny smile grace her face. “do you, possibly, like elvis?”

“of course i like him, he’s my best friend.”

she chuckled a little at your sudden response. “i know he is, but i mean, more than your best friend.”

you didn’t respond or nod. she didn’t need you to. she already knew you did.

“oh, my baby’s got a crush. that’s so sweet.”

“momma, what do i do? he make my stomach feel like i swallowed three butterflies.”

“that’s normal, baby. i felt that way with your father.”

you nodded, thinking about elvis again and how he would react if you ever told him about your crush on him.

“but remember,” your momma grabbed your face gently and turned you to face her. “you can’t go telling everyone about your crush on him.”

“why not?”

“‘cause, not everyone is fond of a white boy and a black girl bein’ together. it could put you and me, elvis and his momma in danger.”

“oh.” was all you said back, mentally cursing racial segregation and the fact that no one wanted black people to be breathing the same air as white people.

she pulled you closer to her, holding you in her warm embrace. “keep this between you and me.. and elvis if you wanna tell him too.” she chuckled.

and as much as you wanted to shout it from the rooftops that you loved elvis, you knew she was right.

you just had hoped he liked you back.

click here to be added to the taglist!

@adoreyouusugar | @kmaximoff | @im-lame-irl | @slimytoads | @thelomlharrystyles

#a friedwangsss original #friedwangsss post #austin butler elvis #austin!elvis x black reader #elvis x reader #lph!universe

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best-funeral-ever · 2 years

Note

Not sure how this works but uh…anyway! If you’re still taking TUA requests, could you maybe write something where Klaus gets a cold/gets the flu and his siblings have to take care of him? I really just wanna see a sick Klaus haha 😅

THIS AS A CONCEPT SOUNDS SO FUNNY OMG???

Thank you for the request, and I'm so sorry I blipped again lmao 💀

The UA Siblings when Klaus is Sick™

Comfort, Fluff

Rated: M ( swearing :( )

TW: none that I can see, please correct me if I missed any!

Synopsis: Klaus, ever evasive of death as he somehow is, gets sick! How do his ragtag siblings respond?

look at him. right now. stare at this man.

he is. so. fucking. dramatic. when it comes to this.

(we love him)

as usual, let's go down the list :)

Luther...doesn't care. lol

Like, okay, he CARES, obviously, but not enough to bother to do anything about it really.

He shows he cares, of course he does!

After all, he elects himself as the world's bodyguard, and throws keeps Klaus in his room!

He also tells Diego, so that someone can actually help him rather than break him. more.

Speaking of, Diego!

Diego is a great help, I'd say. He's used to being sick and stuck between rocks and hard places

(this recieves an obligatory childish laugh from the sickly creature dwelling in his room)

((and a second laugh from his dear missus also dwelling in his room))

He goes out and gets Klaus medicine like he does for anyone else he gives two shits about

He makes sure Klaus takes the meds and that he eats at least semi regularly

He's a momma's boy with aggressive tendencies; Klaus doesn't argue much with him

Look, I'm not gonna lie, Allison and Five could not physically care less.

Allison's in her own head and quite frankly she doesn't want to leave it

Especially not for her deadbeat junkie of a 'brother'.

And Five?

Five is too busy being paranoid, and the most he does is get money for Diego to help with Klaus, and even then he has the gall to complain.

Five does care secretly though. A lot.

If Klaus has a nightmare, which typically happens when he's sick and his powers are on the fritz, he's already there with a warm handcloth and some water.

Klaus doesn't dare speak about it.

Though Five doesn't miss the way his brother has a trace of a smile on his face just before he warps away, thinking he's being secretive.

old man has old man temperament what do you expect

Ben, whether Ghost or Sparrow, is a right dick.

If he has the option, he stays back, either to get sleep, read in peace, or not get sick.

He will console Klaus if the nightmares get rough and Five is already gone.

Other than that, the only proof he cares will be that Klaus wakes up earlier than him, and sees him asleep next to him with a chair propped up and facing the door.

Klaus bullies him relentlessly weeks after he's recovered

Viktor, my dear boy, is better than everyone except Diego.

He comes in clutch

Soup, memes, tv

He's the day guy

He brings comics that he bought from the dollar store, some trinkets he thinks Klaus will like, and makes him being sick feel less like a liability and more like, y'know, a normal human thing that happens

He lets Klaus ramble himself to sleep

lets Klaus rant about the others

he listens.

and Klaus says it's enough for him :)

Overall, Klaus is a complete sweetheart when he's sick to everyone except Ben and Allison for seperate reasons.

The delusions get to him

When he recovers, they all pretend it never happened

...until next time, of course.

#klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #umbrella academy incorrect quotes #five hargreeves #umbrella academy #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #tua klaus #tua five

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ghost-of-you · 3 years

Text

saw ur mom at the grocery store - ch

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.

Warnings: General angst and drinking

Word Count: 3k

Authors note: who am I writing a one shot that stays a one shot???? Anyway, this is based on the song saw ur mom at the grocery store by Abby Cates (youtube spotify). I listened to it and I couldn't get this concept out of my head. It's pretty much drunk dialing Calum (the ex) after running into his mom lol. Shout out to @villainorigincal for reading it over for me, ily Blanca 💜💜💜💜. Oh, Italics are flashback because I guess that's my brand in writing oaskdoaksoaks

My Masterlist

_______

Erin is too distracted by both the podcast blasting in her ears and the quest she has given herself of finding the correct ice cream flavor to be aware of her surroundings. So she doesn't notice the woman eyeing her nor her slowly approaching, gently touching her arm to get her attention until she's right there. She tries not to look too startled as she pulls her headphones down as she's suddenly faced with the last person she'd thought she'd run into in the stupid supermarket.

"Joy!" Erin greets, the need to be polite taking over, as she ignores the fact that she wants the ground to swallow her whole.

"Erin, sweetie, I thought it was you," Joy smiles kindly, probably completely unaware of how much seeing that smile hurt. She looks so much like Calum at that moment, same eyes, same smile. Maybe the correct thought would be that Calum looks so much like her. Erin hadn't allowed herself to think about him in months, not that it really matters, he's tangled in a mess of feelings that tugged her all around. Anger. Sadness. Hope. But right now, looking at the woman who has eyes the exact same shade of brown as his, it feels like she grabbed the love thread and yanked it to the forefront of her mind. "How have you been?"

"I'm great," Erin lies, "I've been really busy." That part is true. How else do you get over the love of your life walking away from you after two years if not by burying yourself into mountains of distractions so you don't have to think about it? It's definitely not healthy, but it was the only way she could cope. "How are you?"

"I'm great! I'm happy I finally got to visit again," she continues to smile and Erin can't help the smile on her face.

"I bet he's happy you're here," she says, almost without thinking. She used to tease Calum all the time about how much of a momma's boy he is but she loves that about him. Wait, turn around, she can't let herself think about him. Or talk about him. "How's-" she clears her throat, "how's Mali?"

"She's good, Calum too, really busy, so I'm just making sure he has everything he needs at home," she motions at the full cart she's pushing around. The smile in Erin's face gets harder to maintain when she hears his name, and she can't think of what to say, but Joy seems to completely miss that, "I'm gonna finish this and let you get back to your shopping. But it was great to see you, I've missed you, I wish we got to see you more," she adds, and Erin nods.

"Yeah, I missed you too, I'm happy I got to see you," she says, trying to ignore how her chest feels like it's about to split in half. They bid their goodbyes and Erin is left staring at the freezer beside her.

"Yeah, there's no way ice cream will be enough today," she mumbles to herself, grabbing the carton and moving blindly around the aisles. She contemplates a bottle of wine before shaking her head and reaching for the vodka on the shelf beside it.

She goes through checkout in a haze, trying not to think too hard about anything and it isn't until she closes the door to her car, left alone in the silence, that she lets her thoughts flow back to Calum.

Maybe let it's the wrong word. She can't get in the car without thinking of him, the empty space in the dashboard that used to hold her radio screaming at her about him just as much as the empty passenger seat. She remembers pulling at a stop and basically clawing the radio out of the car the first time one of his songs came on while she was driving after the breakup and she didn't have the heart to get a new one. Music is so tied to him, she can't listen to it anymore. It was nearly impossible to not let the memories drown her when any song was playing.

Erin's gaze kept moving from the road to Calum, the windows down, the road speeding by them, the wind blowing through her hair, and Calum's voice harmonizing with the radio making her sure there would never be somewhere where she would ever feel happier.

His hand was resting in her thigh, his fingers tapping to the beat and he was singing melody, harmonies, and instruments making her laugh while badly following, too distracted by him to put any effort into sounding good. When the song ended he leaned closer to her, whispering “I love you” and kissing her cheek. At that moment she couldn’t imagine loving anyone more.

She tries to ignore the empty space next to her, focusing on streets that blend together as the memories continue to try and take over as she fights the urge to start screaming. I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him. She chants to herself, halfheartedly hoping if she repeats it enough it will eventually stop being a lie.

Walking into her house is just as hard, the ghost of him standing by the front door, sleeping on the couch, walking through the halls, making the place feel haunted. She drops her bags by the counter, moving to get a mug and a spoon, before popping the ice cream open, scooping it to the mug before pouring a few shots on top of it, sitting down by the counter while mixing the mess in her hands.

There was flour everywhere. There was enough flour floating around that even the top of Calum’s hair had a thin white layer over it.

“Baby, you’re making a mess,” she laughed as she walked into the kitchen, leaning against the doorway to look at him.

“No, I’m making you breakfast,” he said, pointing at her with the whisk in his hand.

“Those statements are not mutually exclusive,” she teased, moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around his middle and leaning against his back, her head on his arm.

“It’s just a little flour,” he said, turning to kiss the top of her head, making her chuckle.

“A little?” She said, kissing his shoulder and moving to his side, rolling the sleeves of the hoodie, Calum’s hoodie, she was wearing, “how can I help?” She asked and he gave a grin.

“I’ve got it covered.”

“Yeah, in flour,” she laughed and he pouted, dipping his finger into the batter and splattering it across her nose.

She’s definitely in for a bad night, she thinks as she moves blindly around the house. She had tried meditation in the days when her mind was too loud to exist in but at the moment the silence was too deafening. Maybe that’s why she ends up sitting on the floor of her closet, after pushing boxes around until she finds the right one, the one with everything he left behind, the almost empty mug beside her as she stares at the framed picture in her hands.

“Can you just stop moving, please?” Erin pouted, turning to look up at Calum through her lashes, hoping he would just indulge her for once.

“Why?” He sounded annoyed, but he was looking fondly at her.

“I want pictures,” she complained and he chuckled.

“You have pictures.”

“I have pictures of you, I want pictures with you, so I don’t look like a crazy fan or whatever.”

“Fans get pictures with us too,” he shrugged and she groaned.

“I hate you.”

“You love me,” he teased, pulling her phone out of her hands, and her against his chest, kissing her cheek while taking a picture.

Looking at the photo she honestly can’t figure out how they got to where they are. How did they get there? How did they get to screaming in the middle of the night and him walking out the door without ever looking back? Also, how did she manage to go this long without reaching out to him? She can’t think of anything she wants more right now than to just hear his voice. She carefully puts the picture back in the box, the lid on top of it, and hides it again between her shoes, before standing up and pulling her phone out of her pocket.

The phone app is taunting her and so is the little bubble with Calum’s picture, while she moves around her room, her finger hovering over the call button.

She slides to the floor, her back against a wall and she just closes her eyes and hits call before she can lose the courage to do it.

“Hey, I can’t answer right now, but leave a message… or don’t, I can’t tell you what to do…” his voicemail greets her as she mutters “This is so stupid,” before the beep happens and she just sighs into the line.

“I saw your mum today," she starts, picking at a loose thread in her pants, "I don’t know if she told you, but yeah, I saw her and… I don’t know. She asked me how I was and I lied. I said I was great. Hell, I asked about your sister even though I was about to have a breakdown in the frozen section of the supermarket,” she pauses, chuckling to herself, “‘Cause, what else could I do? Tell her I have no idea how to exist in the world after you?” She runs her hand through her hair, still shorter than she was used to, “I cut my hair," she blurts out when her fingers reach her ends, and that just makes her want to list the things she's done in silly attempts to not think of him, "I don’t listen to music anymore, I… I got a new job, I tried meditation," she rolls her eyes, "and that’s funny ‘cause when that didn’t work I thought about asking Ash for some pointers before I remembered he’s also not talking to me. How long has it been now? Five? Six months? And I still have no idea who I am without you.”

The music was loud and Erin’s heels were not helping her navigate this place, the people and the mess making her sure she was going to fall at any minute. Which happened a few moments after and she would’ve felt the irony if someone didn’t catch her and if when she’d looked up to thank them all thoughts hadn’t been replaced by the stranger's face. He looked familiar but she knew if she’d ever met him before, she’d remember, the tan skin, beautiful brown eyes, bright smile. He was gorgeous and he was looking at her in a way that made her cheeks heat up, her heart speed up and her skin was tingling where he was still touching her.

“I don’t know why called… Actually, that’s a lie. I called because I miss you. I’m sorry about that, I’m sure you don’t wanna be thinking about me, but I didn’t have the strength to not call anymore.” She sighs, dropping her head to her free hand, “‘cause guess what? Apparently, I’m not over you and all it takes for me to break is your mum being nice to me,” she laughs to herself, feeling the irony of the situation, “she has your eyes, actually, I guess you have her eyes, but I bet you know what I mean,” she rubs her eyes, before looking up at the ceiling, her head hitting the wall with a soft thud.

The clock in the microwave was blinking 2:58 am and it was the only source of light in the room, along with the glare from the street light coming through the window. She doesn’t know how the night turned into a fight. But lately, fighting seemed to be all they did. Her boss was pushing her too hard and tour prep was draining him, making both of them tick-timing bombs, ready to go off at any minute.

“I can’t do this anymore!” Calum screamed, knocking the air out of her lungs.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her voice suddenly too small.

“I’m not doing this anymore,” his voice was calm and clear, “it’s over.”

His words sank in slowly, and she stood motionless in the kitchen while he gathered his stuff. Her feet seemed to start working again when he walked down the stairs, and she followed him, speechless, unable to ask him to stay as he disappeared out the door without a single glance back at her.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no idea what to do. I guess I thought hearing your voice would change something. But nah… Still love you. Still miss you,” she finally admits, chewing on her bottom lip, but the weight in her chest is still there, “I’m gonna hang up now, you can ignore this if you want. I don’t even know if you’re going to listen to it, but, yeah," she clears her throat, "goodbye Calum.”

The phone slides from her hand down to the floor after she hangs up, and she hugs her knees to her chest, dropping her head and muffling her screams against her arm. What the hell did she just do? She shouldn’t be allowed to have a phone. Actually, maybe she shouldn’t be allowed to have alcohol.

She moves down to the kitchen, abandoning the mug in the sink, keeping the spoon in her hand as she takes the ice cream carton out of the freezer, abandoning the lid next to the bottle of vodka she decides to ignore, and moving to sit in the living room. Maybe she could distract herself enough so she would stop cringing to herself.

Calum was absentmindedly tracing patterns up and down Erin’s arm, their legs tangled together, her head resting on his arm, a movie she’s not paying any attention to playing on the tv while they cuddled on the couch. He kissed the top of her head and something clicked in her brain. She smiled to herself before turning so she could face him. He kissed the tip of her nose when she did and she giggled.

“Cal?” She whispered and he hummed a yes locking eyes with her. “I love you.”

The words were barely out of her lips before his lips collided with hers and he was kissing her with such intensity it was hard to breathe.

“I love you,” he said, smiling against her lips, before kissing her again.

The spoon is caught between her teeth, a blanket around her, the Netflix app on the tv while she tries to find something she wants to watch when she hears the doorbell ringing. She lets the spoon fall off her mouth, throwing the remote and the ice cream carton into the coffee table, tightening the blanket around her before moving to answer the door. She has no idea what to expect, it’s late and she doesn’t remember ordering anything, so when she opens the door she’s convinced she’s hallucinating.

“You called me,” Calum says, the second the door is out of the way, but Erin is too stunned by his presence to not stare at him. His hair is messy, he’s wearing sweatpants and an undershirt, his car keys in one hand, his phone, that he’s shaking as he speaks to get her to look at it, in the other, eyes staring intently at her.

“I’m aware,” she says, slowly, blinking at him as if she is waiting for him to disappear, “you wanna come in?” She asks, feeling weird standing by the door, moving back out of the way when he nods. She closes the door behind her, adjusting the blanket around her shoulders as she looks at him.

“Did you mean it?” He asks, anxious eyes, still holding his phone as if it would somehow vanish, and she frowns at him.

“I said a lot of stuff, I need you to be more specific,” she chuckles, awkwardly, and he steps closer to her, invading her space and stealing her breath away.

“Do you still love me?” He asks, studying her and she opens and closes her mouth a few times. What answer does he want? She considers lying, but his eyes on her make it hard for her to think of anything to say other than. “Yes,” she breathes, and his face softens in relief, his hands moving to cup her face.

“Thank God,” he whispers, before crashing his lips to hers. She kisses him back, the blanket falling off her shoulders as she grabs hold of his shirt. Her heartbeat is ringing in her ears, and she’s convinced she’s going to wake up at any minute. It feels like a dream, his heart pounding against her hand while his lips move on hers.

“Wait,” she pulls back, and he looks breathless at her while she pinches herself.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, anxiety coming back to his eyes, and she pinches herself again, “what are you doing?”

“I’m just making sure I’m not dreaming,” she laughs, and he tilts his head, eyes soft, “what are you doing?”

“I was kissing you,” he chuckles and she shakes her head, opening and closing her mouth.

“Why?” She asks, frowning at him.

“Because I love you,” he says, voice calm and clear, and she can feel her heart swell as she looks at him, a smile fighting its way onto her lips.

“You do?”

“I do,” he nods, and she nods back, pursing her lips.

“Does that mean you won’t walk out just because you’re frustrated again?” She asks, staring up at him.

“I’m sorry I did that,” he says, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry I picked a fight in the middle of the night,” she says, apologetically and he chuckles slightly.

“I’m sorry I let you, and then left.”

“Maybe in the next fight, we can just…”

“Talk?”

“Yeah,” she chuckles as he moves closer to her, hands on her waist pulling her in.

“Sounds like a plan," he agrees, grinning at her.

“Okay, you can kiss me again.”

________

taglist: @mytlrh

#5sos fics #5sos fic #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #i still don't know how to tag fics yeah #5 seconds of summer fic

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lilyharvord · 3 years

Text

Sun

OH OH BABY. It’s MOTHER’S DAY. You know what that means…. :)))) It’s time to celebrate Mare Barrow. While I’m working on the next chapter of the Chain, I figured I’d give you guys this. This next chapter is gonna have to steep like a fine tea cause it’s Cal and the Colonel going head to head and those conversations need to be GOOD. LOL it’s unedited too, sorry. ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3: link

Rain patters against the window next to me, but the day outside is too dreary and grey for the event that occurred this morning. I couldn’t care less though, my entire focus is on the little bundle squirming in my arms. My son is as restless as he was inside of me. Still, I smile down at him as I lean back further into the pillows so I can see him better. He looks like me, and like Shade. My heart breaks a fraction at the thought, and heals at the same time. I never thought I’d see my brother’s face again, but there it is, on my son’s.

A tiny gasp draws my eye to the doorway, and my face splits into an elated grin as Coriane sprints across the room and tries to leap onto the bed.

“Momma!” She cries as she only manages to get the top half of her body up. Cal’s right behind her to lift her the last foot so she can crawl across the sheets to me.

“Hello darling.” I laugh as she nuzzles into my side. “I’ve only been gone a day, but you are acting like it’s been forever.”

“It was forever!” She bemoans, her large amber eyes growing impossibly wider as she tries to wind her arms around one of mine. “Grandma told me I had to sit and be quiet but it was so long.”

I don’t need an imagination to picture how that went. My child has more energy than a lightning storm. She bounces around rooms with a smile bright enough to power Ascendant for the rest of its existence, but she can be loud, and a handful if Cal or I isn't there to keep her in check.

“I hope you were good.” I murmur, earning a bright red blush from her as she turns her eyes to Cal. He sink down on the edge of the bed as she crawls away to sit in front of him. Nearly identical features mirror each other as he raises a brow at her when she looks up at him. That simple fact is a reminder of why I’m holding another baby right now. I may have carried and birthed Coriane into the world, but she is her father’s daughter in all aspects. She looks like him, she mimics almost every one of his expressions, and she follows him around like a duckling. The only distinguishing factors are her burning Red blood, and my skin color and mass of curls. I wanted one more to even the score when I realized that maybe she was more of a daddy’s girl than we had originally thought. And I got my wish, which makes me happier than a bird taking flight.

“I was.” She replies when Cal doesn’t step to her immediate defense like he normally does. Which just tells me she was opposite of good and I may have to find a way to thank my parents for watching her.

Her eyes fall to her brother and she edges away from Cal to get closer to me, a strange silence and stillness falling over her. She sits on her haunches next to me, her eyes trained on the little baby sleeping in my arms. She reaches a tentative hand out, but pulls it back quickly, as if thinking better of touch him.

“It’s all right.” I assure her, before shifting Shade so she can see him better. She leans forward, her eyes blinking a few times as she takes in his now sleeping face. With one of her fingers, she touches the tip of his nose and then traces his cheek.

“His skin is so soft.” She whispers, before looking up at me with wide eyes.

“Yours was too.” Cal teases before leaning forward with her. I haven’t let him hold Shade yet, and he may be getting a little impatient that it’s been a few hours. I wanted my time with him first, and he had willingly given it to me. He knew from the moment I found out it was boy that this was going to be my baby for a while. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to hold his son though.

“He’s so small. Was I that small?” “You were actually smaller.” I smile weakly at the memory of her little body settling in my arms for the first time. Tears begin to build in my eyes at the memory and I roll them at the hormones that will take a while to calm down, before wiping the tears away.

Coriane watches my movement with a curious tilt of her head. That’s not one of Cal’s movements. A part of me flutters in surprise at the concept. She must be starting to develop her own mannerisms. Julian told me she would eventually, when she got old enough to start building her own personality. And she certainly is doing just that.

“I’m not sad darling.” I say, even though another tear slips by and falls down my check. She still wears her concern like Cal though, between her brows which scrunch just slightly.

Reaching my hand out, I curl my arm around her little shoulders and pull her into my side. She settles on her knees so she can press into me at a comfortable angle. “Sometimes, people are so happy, they can’t hold it in and it comes out as tears.”

“Having a new baby made you so happy you are crying?” Coriane reasons as she reaches a hand out for Shade again. He blinks open honey colored eyes and yawns. My daughter’s face splits into a bright grin as he weakly closes his hand around two of her little fingers.

I don’t know what gods to thank for the fact that she does not think we’re replacing her, or handling this like any of my siblings did when a new baby came. I remember thinking Gisa was the worst thing my mother ever made, simply because she took my parent’s attention away from me for a bit. Coriane hasn’t shown us that she’s acting like that. In fact, she had been the opposite side of the spectrum. She might have been more excited at the prospect of the baby than we were.

“Both of you make me so very happy I can’t hold it in.” I whisper to her before pressing a kiss on her hair. Never in my wildest fantasies did I see this day coming. I may have had faint visions of children when I lived in the Stilts, but those thoughts had never been serious. I had been so focused on simply getting through the day, I hadn’t thought about the months or years to come. I didn’t want to bring a child into the mud and the life that I had been forced to live. I didn’t even really want to bring one into this new world that we were all forging from the broken pieces of the old. But Coriane had moved inside of me, and I had become so sure of the path I was walking that when I finally saw her face, I knew I had made at least one right decision in my life.

Cal’s hand is warm on my knee as he gentle massages the joint with his thumb. Laying my cheek on Cori’s head, I smile at him. He returns the gesture. He looks tired, maybe just as tired as I do. We have a long couple years ahead of us too. Piedmont tries to march on the States every other month, and the Lakelands puddle along to the beat of their own drum, no matter how hard Evangeline tries to beat a different one. Tiraxes and Prairie refuse to hear talks or peace. We’ll be called on sooner rather than later. I know now more than ever, I will be loath to leave this little slice of peace that Cal and I have carved out over the years. There is war and strife all around us, but at least for this moment, we are together.

Pressing another long kiss to Coriane’s head, I whisper to her. “Your brother’s name is Shade.”

“Daddy told me.” Coriane replies in kind. “Grandma said it’s a special name like mine. That it was your brother’s name.”

“It was.” I try to keep my voice even, but it breaks on that admission all the same. Cal’s hand grows a little warmer, and he squeezes my knee a little tighter. There’s no room for him this high up on the bed, but he still wants me to know he’s here. I couldn’t be more grateful for him in this moment.

Coriane rests her head in crock of my shoulder and says, “He’s Clara’s daddy.”

“He was. And he would have loved both of you.”

Shade would have loved my daughter like he loved his own. I know he would have, and he would have teased Cal mercilessly the whole time. His absence is like a knife in my heart still, but the blade has dulled over the years. My son has dulled that blade further, and I suppose removed it an inch.

“Can I hold him?” Coriane breathes her question so quietly I almost miss it.

When I don’t respond to she looks to Cal and then back up to me for permission. I hesitantly push her hair behind her ear in response to her gaze.

“Dad hasn’t held him yet.” I murmur in answer, and her little lips immediately purse into a pout.

Cal rises from the bed in the rustle of sheets before scooping her into his arms and sinking down next to me with Cori in his lap. “We can hold him together.” He says to her with a smile that is reserved only for her. She grins back up at him, before turning that shining look on her brother. She practically vibrates out of Cal’s lap as I reluctantly give him over to them.

Even though Cal takes most of Shade’s weight in his hands, it’s Coriane’s body that Shade presses up against. He squirms for a moment, not happy with being shifted so much so soon, but settles quickly as Cal adjusts for him.

Coriane’s eyes open wide and her mouth opens in a little circle as she whispers, “he’s heavy momma.”

“You don’t need to tell me that darling.” I can’t help the comment. It slips past the filters I built after having my daughter. She’s getting older though, and she understands those sideways jokes for the most part now.

�� “Be careful, make sure you don’t move too much.” Cal warns her when she squirms and tries to hold him by herself.

“She’s all right, let her try.” I nod down to our children and Cal watches me for a heartbeat, trying to judge my comment. When I don’t say anything else, he adjusts his grip and lets Coriane take the full weight of her brother. She takes to him like a duck on water, and grins up at me when he nuzzles into her chest. I return her smile, joy oozing out of me. The lights overhead flicker for a moment, and then buzz louder as my emotion tries to manifest as something else.

Cal smirks at me, but I can feel the pride and heat that rolls off of him in waves. He can’t hide it either. He wanted this as much as I did. I’ve always known he would be a good father, whether or not I was the mother of those children had remained to be seen. But it happened, and I couldn’t be happier to be doing this with him, to be growing our family and trying to carve out a place for them in the world.

“He looks beautiful.” Cal leans around Coriane to whisper that to me, trying not to disturb the moment our daughter is having as she coos nonsense to Shade. Clara did the same thing to her when we brought Cori home and let my niece stick her head into the bassinet to say hello. The memory brings another wave of happiness over me that immediately makes the lights buzz again.

“He’s healthy, and that’s all that matters to me.” I reply with a smile before letting him press a gentle kiss to my lips.

“You were faster this time. Even your mother was impressed.” He teases before pulling back to avoid the sparks I try to snap at his cheek with. He smooths Coriane’s curls as he gives me a mischievous smirk she completely misses. I hope she never sees that smile, because then she’ll start copying it, and I don’t think I can take my child smirking at me like that.

“Momma.” Coriane calls for me again, forcing me to switch my scowl for a smile instantly. She tries to wiggle and offer Shade back to me, her face pinched with her effort. Cal almost dives forward to make sure he makes it back into my arms, and I have to move just as quickly to avoid him falling into my lap. He makes it nonetheless, and I breathe a tiny sigh of relief as I sink back. Coriane, oblivious to the moment as much as a child can be, immediately starts trying to cliimb all over Cal. Apparently she was done sitting still.

Cal manages to wrap an arm around her when she throws herself over his shoulder and says, “I wanna go play with Clara again.”

“You don’t want to stay with momma and Shade?” Cal asks her as he twists to catch her and guide her back into his lap. She giggles at the game immediately does the whole thing again.

“I wanted to make sure momma was okay. She’s okay.” Coriane dangles from his shoulder again and gives me an upside down smile from around Cal’s back. “And Shade’s okay too. I wanna go play now.”

Cal pulls her back through and manages to wrangle her into stillness before saying, “let’s try to stay together as a family for a little bit.”

Immediately she pouts, and her eyes glint as she glances at the door. I know that look, and it does not belong to Cal. That’s my brain turning wheels over and planning how to escape.

“Just for a little bit darling.” I whisper as I reach out to brush my fingers through her hair. She glances at me, drawn like a magnet. I wonder if she’s an Ardent, an electricon like me who senses the electricity that dances under my skin. We haven’t had her tested, and we don’t want to know either. Let her be normal for a bit.

Her pout melts away and she lets Cal hold her a bit closer before moving closer to me so we’re all squished together. I’d normally protest the discomfort, but right this moment, I want all of them as close as possible. A warm arm slides around my shoulders and I sigh before sliding into Cal’s embrace and resting my head as best I can against him. Coriane wiggles between us, trying to get comfortable, until she ends up in the crevice between our bodies. She’s already getting too big to squeeze into that space, and soon Shade will be that size and then they’ll both be grown. When they are, they’ll be taller than me, Sara told me as much. I don’t mind that though. I’d hate for my children to be burdened with my height.

“This is the last one.” I whisper to Cal after a few minutes of being lulled by his warmth. Coriane sighs as I shift, and when I glance down, it’s to see her eyelashes fluttering as she dreams. I hope they’re happy dreams, tinged pink and covered in honey. She deserves that life, and I plan to carve it into existence with my bare hands for her and for Shade.

“You said that after Cori.” I can hear the laughter in Cal’s voice at the same time that I feel his lips curl into a smile against my temple.

“I’m serious this time. I’m fine with being a mother twice over. But if you get me pregnant again, I will kill you, Tiberias.” I murmur, but the threat loses all power as I smile down at Shade who grabs a tiny fistful of my shirt.

His laugh is quiet, but deep and wonderful. I love that he laughs so much these days, that I laugh just as much. His fingers brush along the scars that reach up the back of my neck as he whispers, “But you make such a wonderful mother.”

I can’t help but smile, even at the same time that I swear to myself that Shade will be the last one.

#my writing #my fanfics #HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO THIS WOMAN #I love her so much #and I love how much she probably loves her babies #red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #broken throne #post broken throne #mare barrow #cal calore #shade barrow calore #(As a teenie tiny baby)#coriane barrow calore #(being her chaotic toddler self)#the depression gremlin turned away for one second and I updated (((:#enjoy everyone

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whentheynameyoujoy · 4 years

Text

So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

youtube

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

#atla #atla movie #zutara #anti bryke #dev patel #the last airbender #anti-kataang

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