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the freak in the penthouse part 7
E-rated (for sexual content), accidental millionaire eddie/sex-worker steve.
On tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.1 Part 3.2 Part 4.1 Part 4.2 Part 5.1 Part 5.2 Part 6.1 Part 6.2 or search #thefreakinthepenthouse :)
On AO3
“Listen to me, Stevie. Hiding myself away in a tarnished ivory tower wasn’t the answer. Till you came along to rescue me.”
Eddie was spouting total garbage. He still had Steve grinning like an idiot and clinging like an idiot around Eddie’s neck. The idea of being Eddie’s hero made him feel good about himself—good in a way he’d not felt in a very long time.
Then Eddie screwed it all up: “I really like you… I know it sounds dumb, but I wanna help you, like you’ve helped me, and—”
“Zip it, Eds.” Steve pressed his fingertips to Eddie’s parted lips. I fucking knew it. He’s revving himself up to ditch the hooker. Steve yammered meaninglessly: “Yeah, I know what it looks like, me peddling my ass and all, but truth is, I don’t have to do this anymore. You were an exception.”
He almost spewed some horseshit about being made of strong stuff; like, fiercely independent. That lie jammed in his worryingly itchy throat.
I barely tied my own crappy shoelaces till I was eighteen.
He smirked: “Tonight’s about you breaking free, not me. C’mon, man—let’s party.”
Eddie slammed Steve with a searching look that lingered long enough for Steve to wish the shiny parquet floor would swallow him up. His smirk faltered. Shiiiiit, he’s gonna ditch me RIGHT NOW.
“Uh, Eddie, I—"
“You win again, Champ.” Eddie clapped his hands to Steve’s face, planted a wet kiss on his nose. “You really got my juices flowing tonight. The lords of hell demand music, and it’s gonna be metal and it’s gonna be loud. Hey, I want cheesy nachos. You up for cheesy nachos?”
Eddie ordered them on room service. When they arrived, Steve was extra-careful to stay out of sight. When Kline had nearly busted him leaving Eddie’s that morning, it’d shook him up big time. He’d not gotten much quality sleep on Robin's couch.
Soon, they were jumping around to Aerosmith, ACDC, Black Sabbath, and other bands Steve almost liked. Eddie smoked less than usual, for which Steve was quietly grateful. Eddie also kept on talking more than usual—at least, shouting, between bouts of headbanging. They moshed like they were tripping on acid, and Steve swore he was gonna get whiplash.
“The reasons behind my deeply uncool funk are not exactly rocket-science.” Eddie shoved a cassette in the stereo then wheeled around and collapsed onto his enormous beanbag. “I got rich in a way I don’t deserve, and I came apart like a whacked pinata. When I was broke, I had the confidence of a God.”
“You talking about being the badass Dungeon Master?” Steve slumped down dizzily beside Eddie and walked his fingers around the crazy demon dude on Eddie’s bare chest. A mellow acoustic track by Extreme started up. “I met him earlier. He destroyed me, totally.”
“It was pretty cool, huh? He’d like to creep out and play again soon. Hey, what do you say to those handcuffs?” Eddie slammed a punch into his own hand. “Dungeon Master is a teeny bit of a sadist and he luuuurved watching his bad dude squirm.”
Yeah, I can do bondage for you, Eds. You can even spank me again, what’s it to me? Still can’t believe you let me squirt all over your face...
He’d do pretty much anything to make Eddie stay, which was the dumbest and most depressing thing of all.
While all this galloped through his head, Steve blurted: “Bring it on, oh master of the dungeon. Oh great, barbarian overlord and wielder of the sword of power!”
He feared the He-Man references were a cheesiness too far. Eddie hooted anyhow. Steve fluttered his lashes before turning away to take a slurp of beer and surreptitiously thump his chest. Dammit, why did his crappy asthma have to mess with him on top of all the other shit today? He swiftly turned the conversation back to a previous topic—a house Eddie had told Steve about, which he’d bought for his Uncle Wayne.
“Why don’t you go home to him?” said Steve, which felt as painful as yanking out a handful of hair. That said, if he really wanted to be Eddie’s knight in shining armor, he didn’t see much choice. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to skedaddle. The sex has been kickass and the money’s swell… Why stay in LA? It’s not your home.”
“The boondock accent gives it away, huh?”
“Jesus, I didn’t say that—what’s wrong with your accent? I wasn’t born in California either.” Nope. His parents moved here for the climate. For him. And then they jetted off on that ski trip, because they missed the snow, and… “It’s just, I dunno… I… uh…” Steve stammered like a moron, partially because Extreme’s sap-fest lyrics kept throwing him:
‘Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand, all you have to do is close your eyes, and just reach out your hands… and touch me… hold me close, don't ever let me go…
More than wo-ords…’
More than goddamn words? It was the words that were so mind-bogglingly tricky right now and he was a dud with them at the best of times. He wished Eddie had never begun all this talky-talky crap. Typical Eddie. Now he’d started bleating, he couldn’t stop—was there nothing this sucker wouldn’t get addicted to?
“Cliché alert,” murmured Steve, “you gotta do what makes you happy.” His tired eyes fluttered shut… and then flew wide again. Eddie plastered his lips to Steve’s in an ashy kiss, which lingered through the smoochy track.
Steve palmed Eddie’s dick, where it tented Eddie’s silky boxers, and wondered, Should I blow him? Steve enjoyed blowing Eddie. He'd learned to trust Eddie wouldn’t push too deep. Dammit, he’d enjoyed pretty much every trick he’d turned with Eddie, which was a fucking miracle, and several times Eddie had blown him.
Hell, yeah, he’d had Eddie plump lips around his cock, sliding and sucking, till Eddie’s cheeks hollowed. He’d revelled in the sexily demonic glint in Eddie’s soul-destroyingly gorgeous eyes. Then, that one time, Eddie did a dopey cross-eyed thing that had Steve cracking up even when he verged on spurting down Eddie’s throat.
‘What would you do, if my heart was torn in two…’
FUCKING LYRICS. SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE HELL UP!
Steve tuned in to the noise of blood pounding in his ears, and rutted against Eddie. He breathed hard through his nose, scrubbing his tongue roughly against Eddie’s. When Eddie’s hand slipped down the back of Steve’s shorts, Steve rammed his butt shamelessly at it.
Finger me already! Like that first night… Can’t we go back to fooling around? All those times you made me forget you were paying for this shit… Oh God, don’t think, Harrington… Feel… fucking feel it. He’s gonna leave me… He’s gonna leave, goddammit.
He was genuinely relieved when the sap-fest track finished, and they rolled apart.
“Aaaaah, that sure made parts of me mega happy,” said Eddie, grinning down at his crotch. “You my shrink now?”
“ Haha.” Steve coughed behind his tightly clenched fist. “All part of the service. I should increase my rates.”
“You darn well should. I’ve been robbing you blind.” Eddie tenderly hooked a lock of Steve’s hair behind his ear. “You’ve done so much for me. Heck, I almost feel myself again tonight. You gave me the brush off earlier, I hear ya, but I so wanna payback the good stuff, and—”
‘Love of my life, you've hurt me…’
“JESUS FUCKING WEPT!” Steve leaped to his feet, reeled giddily a moment, then marched over to the stereo.
‘You've broken my heart, and now you leave me; Love of my life, can't you seeeeee?’
He slammed the stop button on the cassette deck, cutting off Extreme at the end of the third line of their criminal cover of a Queen song:
“Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ!” Steve dashed shaky fingers across his kiss-swollen lips. “Freddie Mercury’s only been gone a few months. Who the hell do they think they are?”
“Woah! I respect the passion there. You’re a big Queen fan, honey?”
Steve stared down at Eddie. Holy crap, what was wrong with him? He’d gotten good at blotting everything out. Now, the flood of memories threatened to sweep his legs from beneath him.
His dad had bought him the Queen piano book. He’d been so proud when Steve began bashing out the songs. Even though Steve had been too numbskull to actually read the music and had instead picked all the melody and backing chords out by ear. His father knew that, of course, but they’d all pretended the hell out of it.
And ‘Love of my life?’ One of his mom’s favorites, though it hadn’t been in the music book and betrayed how he wasn’t even attempting to read it. He’d figured it out for her, and now… and now?
“I can play this one,” he muttered, fingers picking out the notes on some imaginary keyboard.
“You gonna serenade me, Stevie?” asked Eddie, pushing himself to his feet. He stretched his arms, as if waking from a dream. “Hey, let’s shift the party to the piano. I wanna jam, and I’d love to hear you—"
“No.”
“You sure you’re all right?” Eddie squeezed Steve’s elbow, and Steve hitched his lip in a weary snarl. “Ooookay. Shall we embark on a daredevil quest to the balcony for some fresh air?”
Steve nodded then located his uniform white shirt, dragged it onto his shoulders and buttoned it. He followed Eddie out to where autumn breezes whipped between them, and police sirens wailed up from the city below. Eddie leaned forward against the balustrade, fidgeting with his hands. He drew his cigarette packet from his pocket, and then assaulted Steve with woeful Bambi eyes: “Do you mind if I, uh—"
“Since when did you need permission?” sniped Steve, wrapping his arms tight around himself. “I’m not your fucking babysitter.”
They crawled into bed soon after. Eddie, as ever, fell asleep super-fast. His soft snores were thickly laced with the stench of tobacco. Steve lay awake, sweating, his mind churning so bad he could almost ignore how his lungs remained dead tight. It wasn’t like he’d expected this to last, so why was it such a wrecking-ball blow?
Eddie had been edgy and depressed when they met. Eddie was still edgy and depressed. The solution wasn’t Steve whoring his ass or Steve’s dipshit suggestions about a game.
The solution was Eddie moving on.
Nothing Steve could do would change that. Yeah, there’d been moments, like when they were having sex earlier, when this thing between them felt real. Their one-sided heart-to-heart only reminded Steve that he was the one who needed to get into bed with reality. Eddie liked him, that was obvious, but Steve wasn’t in a position to rescue anybody. Heck, even Steve had told Eddie to go home to his uncle.
To his family.
Steve sniffled, and of course, that had to be the time when Eddie’s smoky snores totally stuck in his airways. He stifled his first couple of coughs in his hand, but the breaths between were wheezy. Shit, shit, SHIT!
He rolled out of bed and fumbled in the dark for his pants. He took a puff of his inhaler, held his breath for a way-too-fast count of ten, exhaled slow. As the hit of coolness spread through his lungs, he stumbled into the washroom. He sank to the floor, leaning back against the iron-hard clawfoot tub.
The attack wasn’t the worst, and he’d known it was coming. His asthma always screwed him over when he was stressing out. He took another puff, then his arm dropped limp, loosely clutching his inhaler at his side. His limbs were shaky, his head all woolly, and his heart skittered at breakneck speed. Dammit, he was using his meds too much, and he was gonna need to put an order in for more. Then Eddie’s money would dry up, and…
“Steve?”
Steve’s stomach knotted so bad, he almost retched. Eddie was standing in the open door, staring at him. Then he was crouched beside Steve, his hand on Steve’s shoulder, stroking fretfully which just made Steve clamp up worse.
“Woah, woah, woah. No way! It was your inhaler?” He scrunched his bedhead hair, panic filling his eyes. “Sheeeesh! I can’t believe… I’ve been that self-absorbed? I could’ve smoked on the balcony, Stevie. I couldda quit!”
“Forget it,” husked Steve. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me?”
Steve furiously swatted Eddie’s hand from his shoulder. “Don’t poke the grizzly. Your rule, remember?” He really wanted another puff. He wanted to punch somebody, too. “I agreed to it, and you chose to break it. I didn’t… Never d-did have any choice in…” He’d have screamed if he’d been able. Instead, he whispered, “Get lost.”
...
Chapter 8 on tumblr
Chapter 8 on AO3
Sorry about the angst!! Will get them to a happier place soon (ish) promise!
Thank you for reading. Likes, reblogs and comments much appreciated and will feed the bunnies🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕
On tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.1 Part 3.2 Part 4.1 Part 4.2 Part 5.1 Part 5.2 Part 6.1 Part 6.2 or search #thefreakinthepenthouse :)
On AO3 All my ST stuff on AO3
#steve x eddie#steddie#thefreakinthepenthouse#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve harrington whump#steddie fanfic#bottom steve harrington#top eddie munson#steve harrington x eddie munson#steddie fanfiction
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Fictober Day 4
prompt: "No, we're not doing that"
Fandom: Supernatural
Character: Charlie Bradbury, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel
Rating: General
Summary:
Charlie’s POV: Charlie is staying over and somehow (despite protest) is able to get the trio to join her for a Dungeons and Dragons one-shot.
“No, we’re not doing that. No way,” Dean ranted as he walked through the bunker.
“Why not,” Charlie whined.
“Because I’m not a complete and total nerd.”
“You larped with me once before.”
“That was different. We were undercover on a case.”
“You did get really into it,” Sam adds as the two of them have now brought this conversation into the library.
“You shut up. Cas back me up.” After getting no response he turns around to find Cas nose-deep in the Dungeon Master’s Guide and Player’s Handbook reading about oathbreaker paladins. “Cas?”
“Hmm?” he says lifting his head up. “I think playing this game could be fun,” he says innocently.
Dean rolls his eyes but caves in pretty fast after hearing Cas’s enthusiasm. “Fine I'll roleplay but I refuse to do math for a game that's supposed to be fun.”
“It's basic addition,” Sam says.
“Ok poindexter.”
After some deliberation and character creation, they ended up with a pretty well-balanced party with Chairlie as the dungeon master. Cas was playing a human oathbreaker paladin while Sam was an elven sorcerer and Dean was a half orc barbarian.
“The three of you have just been hired to attempt to hike to a mysterious cave and find the dragon’s hoard,” Charlie started while adding a voice for dramatics. “You're approaching the entrance to the cave, what will you do?”
“There's a stat on my character sheet that says stealth. Does that mean I can sneak in?” Sam asks.
“Yeah so roll the 20 sided dice and add that number.”
“14. Is that good or bad?”
“That's not bad, you actually rolled higher than the passive perception of the three goblins you find gathered in the mouth of the cave.”
“Ooo I use the… Message cantrip to communicate that to the other two.”
“I wanna run in and hit them hard,” Dean says. “With my… greataxe.”
“Awesome roll to hit with the D20 and then add your proficiency bonus and then if you get high enough you'll roll the D12 plus your attack bonus and–”
“You lost me,” Dean says holding up a hand.
“Oh my god give me these,” Sam says taking the dice and rolling them for Dean. “18 to hit.”
“Thats a hit. Roll for damage.”
“6.”
Charlie narrates the goblins surrendering in fear. “The goblin is downed to one hit point. He and his companions cower beneath the shadow of Deanigar the great. Please don’t hurt us, we'll give you whatever you seek, they say.”
“Tell us where the dragon of this cave resides!” Dean said, slamming his fist on the table.
“Yeah you're totally not a total nerd,” Charlie added sarcastically before jumping back into DM mode. “Roll intimidation with advantage.”
“In English?”
“Roll the dice twice and take the higher number.”
“This game is so weird,” Dean mumbles. “17… plus 2?”
“A 19! That's awesome! The trembling goblin points you in the right direction through the cave.” Charlie then handed Dean a map drawn on a sticky note.
Dean studied the note as if it's an ancient scroll and declared the path forward. “Onwards Samington for our glory is near.”
#fictober#fictober24#spn#supernatural#october#ao3#fanfiction#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#charlie bradbury#dunegons and dragons#dnd5e
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ASKING NON-BG3 FRIEND WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THE COMPANIONS
So I asked my friend, who has NEVER played BG3, what they think about the characters based on watching my gameplay and clips from TikTok and this is what they said:
ASTARION
Moody brat, except he’s really sweet sometimes? But still a brat. Very hungry and wants to use Tav as a capri sun. He’s also a chaotic goose. Goostarian.
KARLACH
BEST GIRL BEST GIRL BEST GIRL! Heart of gold (and metal…and fire…) She’s a bimbo Barbarian, what’s not to love???? Also her broken horn is so cool. She’s so punk, I just wanna kiss her so bad.
HALSIN
Big horny bear man. I guess the dick is bigger in bear form??? Can Tav even fit that inside them??? Everybody loves Astarian imitating Halsin “enjoying the freedom of nature’s gifts.” Idk, Halsin scares me for some reason…? Maybe it’s the horndog thing. Horn…bear…?
WYLL
Nobody talks about this guy, so I have no idea who he is. Just your average Joe warlock who just wants a cup of coffee, I guess. I think he’s a monster hunter, though? He and Astarian sass each other.
LAE'ZAEL
Frog lady with a tiny nose. She wants to be dominated by Tav. I used to think she was ugly, but I actually think she’s cool looking in her own way. Makes the silly “CHUHK” sound with her tongue. People ship her with Shadowheart…?
SHADOWHEART
EMO EMO EMO!! She comes across as bratty to me. I saw a little bit of her story, and I think it’s cool that she defied her god, but yeah. Sucks to be abandoned by Mommy.
GALE
I heard somebody say once the boy likes to mansplain, so Gale left a sour taste in my mouth after that. Uhhh people say he’s autistic, too? In my friend’s play through, he had electric boots and was standing in ankle-deep water, and then went on to talk about books or something…? Also he’s the guy you meet in the beginning and you can slap his hand. I think that’s funny. His god groomed him, though, so that’s no good. Um…yeah, I think Gale standing in water with electric boots talking about books kinda sums up his character for me.
MINTHARA
I thought she was the Drow with the tainted blood, but she’s not. To recruit her, you gotta kill kids, and is it worth it? Some might say yes. I say that we lose Karlach for it, so no. It’s cool that she thanks you for not killing her. Gotta be some good angst there. I feel like most people just kill the Tieflings without thinking, so she’s probably a second play through kind of character.
☆☆BONUS☆☆
JAHEIRA
My friend said she’s coded Hispanic, so now I just imagine her making tacos and burritos in camp for the crew. (Is that racist…? Is it racist if I think she scolds people by hitting them with her shoe?) Mom of the camp, as told by my friend. Elder milf mommy elf. She can hit me with her shoe and I’d thank her and put it back on for her, and I hate feet.
MINSC
Burly Barbarian-looking dude with…a hamster…? I admire the ability of BG3 to make a barbarian with a hamster named Boo, and also make him attractive enough that people would want to romance him. Can you romance him? I feel like BG3 is just a dating sim with extra steps, so he’s *gotta* be dateable, right? Idk, I’d recruit him. I wanna pet his hamster.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 headcanons#bg3 companions#astarion#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#gale#halsin#wyll#shadowheart#lae'zel#karlach#minthara#minsc and boo#minsc#jaheira
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i want to post the homebrew mechanics i made for my apocalypse au so bad. i don't know or care if they'd work in a campaign, i've never played bc i have no friends to play with, but it's very fun to run battles for this fic.
i'd like to preface this with the fact that there is no magic in this world. no area of affect spells, no greater restoration.
the characters are not low-level in these combats, so the swarm was something like 250 zombies in the first one, and they didn't really have a set hp. Instead, if they hit, the damage was halved, and that many were killed. (ex: 10 damage kills 5 zombies, most characters here have weapons with longer reach, so it didn't matter if they weren't within 5 feet) official rules give zombies an ac of 8, but i eaised it to 13. i had a barbarian, ranger, and a rogue in this, and raising the ac was great because my guys were rolling extremely well. i wanted the swarm to be effectively endless because the goal here is not to kill every zombie, it's to get. out. there were three zombies per five-foot square, so every attack would increase movement.
the zombies acted on the same initiative and could only move five feet per round. they attacked every character within reach. upon a hit, the character makes a dex saving throw to avoid/redirect the bite and if they fail, a con save to resist being turned. if they fail both saves, they have until their next long rest to remove the infected limb.
i got some of this "Scarier Zombies in D&D 5E" on youtube from Zee Bashew and the rest is mostly homebrew. it wasn't meant to be a session in a game, so i really fucked around with it. i'd use his rules with their hp max if actually running a game, which is 22. obviously, i started them all with 2 hp, just didn't deal with having injured zombies because in no world was it possible for me to keep track of it with so many on the board.
and there it is! i'd love to attempt this in an actual game, but i think there are some things i'd make more true to d&d rules if i did. reach would matter more, so the damage halving would have a max, but for range weapons? you wanna shoot through five zombies at once? so sick. badass. i think i'd come up with a mechanic for that, maybe surpassing the ac in increments of one or two per zombie.
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For the hurt/Comfort class list, how about rouge scout with Ashton and Chetney?
Subclass Hurt/Comfort Prompt Rogue Scout: Going on a rescue mission and seeing something they’d really rather not have seen. I'm skipping out on the "rescue mission" part of the prompt, mostly because the interesting "rather not have seen" thing that hit me didn't really play nice with that bit. Should still be very fun though.
"You sure about this?" Chetney asks from where he's crouched amongst the rubble, looking back at Ashton. "It might not be what you're looking for."
A sigh. "I'm not looking for a specific answer, old man. I just– I wanna know if they meant to do this and botched the landing, or if it was a fucking accident that was 'fated' to happen. There's no right fucking answer, just what actually happened."
Chetney nods, accepting their answer.
"Alright then. Time for some Pock O'Pea magic!" he declares, rubbing his hands together before slapping them down on the ground of the long abandoned Hishari ritual site.
Magic rushes through Chetney's cursed (by wolf and by Bane) blood, resonating with the stone beneath his hands and the tragedy they bore witness to.
There's just the feelings of pain, fear, and disappointment.
"Shit. Sorry, I'm not getting much out of it," Chetney says, shaking his hands out as he stands back up. "Just impressions of pain and fear and shit."
"Fuck!" Ashton hisses, kicking a rock and wandering away to further curse their luck out and kick more rocks.
Chetney feels a little bad about failing to get anything that Ashton didn't already know out of it. Kid knew shit went bad, so the emotional impressions aren't any help. And fuck if they don't deserve some answers that aren't tilted through the lens of someone who helped set this shit up. It's why they haven't gone back to Evontra'vir, or sought out other survivors of Hishari. (Well, they're also avoiding other survivors at the moment since Ashton doesn't want them to potentially try to revive the fucking cult around him. Which apparently the one he had met during Bells Hells' involuntary solstice separation seemed ready to do even without knowing a titan shard was sitting in front of her)
"What if I gave you a little Guidance and you tried a different spot? Do you think you could maybe get something then?" Fearne softly asks, doe eyes flickering between Ashton's tense form and Chetney's relaxed one beside her.
"Dunno. Worth a try though, I guess," Chetney quietly answers with a sniff.
"Hey, rock for brains! Think you can pick out where you were standing for this shit? Might be worth trying to take a read there," Chetney shouts at Ashton's slightly distant form.
The glare he gets is grumpy and insulted, of course. But there's also a faint flicker of hope in those gemstone eyes too as they motion Chetney and Fearne over.
It takes them a little while and some wandering before Ashton hesitantly decides they've found the right spot.
"A kiss for luck?" Chetney asks, batting his eyes and looking to Fearne for that Guidance she'd suggested. And gets surprised when a kiss lands on each cheek at the same time.
Chet's not gonna lie, it's pretty hot.
"Didn't think you were interested, Ashton," Chetney preens. What? The barbarian is hot and Chetney's not dead (yet).
"You're trying this because of me, so since you wanted a kiss, figured I might as well pay up," Ashton answers with a shrug, neither confirming nor denying their actual stance.
Chetney huffs, slaps his hands to his kissed cheeks, rubs them together to get the juices going, and then presses them to the ground, magic thrumming through his veins once more.
And fuck does it work.
His vision washes red, and when it clears, there's people dressed, and getting dressed, in ceremonial garb and leathers rushing about, a frantic excitement to them. A glowing gateway sparking in the center of all the activity as what he can only guess are ritual materials are spread out around it, symbols and sigils being marked upon the ground. Like they hadn't planned for the moment to be now, but had some wherewithal to be ready to begin anyways.
And Chetney catches a glimpse of the only child among the preparations, held close to a woman's side. Ashton. With soft, tan skin and dark, actual hair.
"It begins."
And there is a crystal that Chetney knows must be the Shard of Ka'Mort that now rests within Ashton, held in an elven man's trembling hands, his bones audibly cracking in Chetney's wolfen ears from the force it exerts. He walks it towards the gateway as chanting around them crescendos–
The elven man flies through the air, limbs fluttering like cloth as every bone within him seems to be shattered. The Shard rests upon the ground. Earth that heaves and quakes under the touch of primordial power. The child (Ashton) rushes forward, having slipped free of the woman's restraining hold. They try to pick up the crystal, maybe to attempt continuing the ritual, maybe to bring it to what Chetney knows is the corpse of Hishari's leader (Ashton's father).
But the Shard crumples inwards, shattering. And Ashton screams.
The earth roars, jagged rocks breaching the ground in rugged spikes. Shudders and shakes as cracks and chasms spider out from where the child version of Ashton has hit their knees, still crying out.
Some of the gathered Hishari rush towards Ashton, only to lose their footing to the quaking, splitting earth, crushed by the grinding stones. Others make it closer to Ashton, only to be flung back by the sheer magical force pulsing out from him, their bodies bonelessly flying through the air along with shattered rocks.
And Chetney watches as the woman that held Ashton close pushes forward. How their tear stained face turns to her pleading for comfort, child to mother (Ashton had mentioned before that she was here this day). And he sees sorrow and determination in her eyes as she gathers magic in her hands, incantation spilling from her lips. They vanish, leaving aftershocks to rock the region and claim more lives.
Chetney gasps as he comes out of the vision.
That– Fuck. It's– Fuck.
He can tell Ashton that Hishari hadn't meant to make him titan-blooded. That's easy. It's half expected. They either meant to make Ashton that way or they didn't, you know?
But the destruction that happened. How it happened. Chetney's not sure how well they'll handle that. Fuck. He kind of wishes he didn't know about that. Ashton was just a kid. They didn't ask for it. Probably didn't even know what was really happening, much less have any ability to control it. That unfortunately didn't change that a lot of people had died that day and Ashton could, kinda sorta, if you were a little too literal, be blamed for those deaths.
And knowing Ashton, they would blame themself. Because they were trying to be all responsible and shit about how their own actions dug their hole. But again, this really wasn't something that should be pinned on Ashton, so it would probably be easier to just... not tell them.
"Well?" Ashton demands, just a little unsure note to his voice.
"They didn't mean to make you," Chetney reports with a shrug. "And a lot people died in that mess."
"Could you tell what they were actually trying to do?"
"Not really. They seemed to be scrambling just to get setup, so it's not like I got to see an opening speech or anything. Just a guy holding what I'm pretty sure was the Shard walking toward a portal or some shit before everything went to shit."
Ashton nods, not pressing for any more than that. Though Chetney can see the glint in Fearne's eye that says his decision to omit some details has been clocked.
But that's fine. Chetney can trust her to help him bring this to Ashton in the right way, if at all.
Did some rolls for this. Set a DC10 for a vision, DC 15 to get some for more. Chet's first attempt at Grim Psychometry was a 6+3 (the other d20 was a Nat 1 😥), so fail on both counts. Second roll was a Nat 20(+1+3), so lots of speculation on my end for what happened with the ritual. So. Ep34 there was a description of a glowing gateway and that everyone was basically scrambling to get the show on the road. I'm presuming Hishari was waiting for this portal to happen to get on with their ritual, but didn't know exactly when it would appear. Otherwise, why the rush? Why weren't they doing it nice and steady? Next, according to Evontra'vir, Efterin didn't know he was meant to make Ashton titan-blooded, and honestly it sounded like Efterin tried to be the Heir of Ka'Mort himself. So whatever the Hishari needed that portal for as part of their ritual, Efterin was doing it. Until he wasn't. Ashton had to get from the sidelines to somewhere in there somehow. And then somebody or something had to teleport Ashton out of Hishari and to the Hellcatch Valley. It probably wasn't Ashton, since he didn't have any space skills yet and isn't really a titan thing. So I made it his mom. Either her body is buried in/by the sands and stone of the Hellcatch, or she managed to drop Ashton where no one else was in the splash zone while getting out herself and never got back to him. Not really sure which way to swing. Ashton doesn't remember because ~trauma~
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Okay. Formal post for
Persona 5 D&D au
So this post has three parts, and the part headers are gonna be colour coded so if you wanna skip to a certain part, it's easier!
Overall Plot is Blue, Campaign Plot is Red, and everyone's Characters are Orange
Let's get litty in this bitch
Overall Plot
So, this au has a plot. Surprise!
Everyone but Morgana is university age, and they don't all know each other before the game. The idea to start the game comes from Morgana, 16, bonding over a mutual love of D&D podcasts with his tutor, Haru, 24
So the plan is to get a bunch of people together to play! Morgana asks his older brother Akira, 22, to invite some of his friends. Their two roommates, Ann, 22, and Ryuji, 22, agree to play too. Akira brings everyone else
Yusuke, 23, he met by simply noticing him sketching strangers in the university quad every day. Makoto, 24, is his own tutor and a PhD student. Sumire, 20, and Akira are in the same social work class. And Futaba, 19, is the legendary Library Hobbit. Akira once gave her an energy drink and they became besties
So the "plot" is the gang all coming together as they play, and slowly becoming friends outside the campaign. And because I'm me, it includes a Haru and Makoto romance plot.
Which, is Haru flirting and failing, so she tries to get Makoto to notice by romancing her character in game. There's more details but. Y'all can ask about that
Anyways the important part is, Morgana is the DM, and only he and Haru are really familiar with D&D.
Campaign Plot
Their game starts with the end of the world. The cataclysm, a dark figure laughing over them as the world burns around them. Each of them has a "sign", like Makoto's character is missing an arm, Sumire's character is marred with burn scars, etc
They get sent back in time by a few months. Their goal is to change the future, with their starting guiding ideas are to keep those "signs" from happening to their characters
Originally, Goro isn't in the campaign. His character is the big bad, but the gang somehow ruin that. Morgana comes up with another big bad and panic asks a different tutor to play that character and. That's Goro
Anyways. Here's the big part
Everyone's Characters
Not too much detail for everyone, just names races and classes, y'all can ask me for more details or can suggest some
Anyways.
Akira - Eladrin Rogue named Joker (he/they)
Ryuji - Half-Orc Barbarian named Nux (he/him/
Ann - Human Sorcerer named Constance LeBeau (she/her)
Yusuke - Drow Warlock named Faeryl (she/her)
Makoto - Tiefling Monk named Just (he/they/she)
Futaba - Tabaxi Artificer named Ford F-150 (he/him)
Haru - Half-Elf Paladin named Ulyssa Noir (she/her)
Sumire - Halfling Ranger named Cinder Earthdancer (she/her)
Goro - Aasimar Blood Hunter named Judas (he/him)
-
The pronouns listed are for the characters, at the moment the Thieves all use, the ones in the game. That's the best way to put it
Anyways. I have so many thoughts about this au ASK ME ABOUT IT SUGGEST THUNFS TALK TO ME ABOUT IT
#persona 5 d&d au#makoto niijima#haru okumura#persona 5#okujima#yusuke kitagawa#ryuji sakamoto#ann takamaki#goro akechi#futaba sakura#morgana p5#joker p5#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa
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* 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌 ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐕 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. )
feel free to change pronouns / wording!
" it started with a simple choice, escape or die. "
" he almost killed you last time, didn't he? "
" what about me? you gotta take me with you. "
" i really didn't have a choice. "
" you haven't escaped anything unless you go on to something. "
" the first thing i noticed was the smell. "
" just like day follows night, every man succumbs to his nature. "
" you're lucky i was here. "
" maybe you're my guardian angel. "
" you can stand to eat a meal if you must, you can stand to make love if you're able, but it's impossible to stand and drink, it's the act of a barbarian, an animal at the watering hole. "
" you talk too much. "
" i walked here barefoot 'cause a guy came in my shoes. "
" people will be fascinated with your story. "
" it takes a prick to know one. "
" this is the place they were thinking about when they invented the word 'the pits'. "
" i like that you haven't asked what this is for. "
" you don't think people can change? "
" you're a good listener, it's dangerous - because it's so hard to resist being listened to. "
" what i want is to be master of my own destiny. "
" i'm sorry to have kept you so late. "
" were you gonna say goodbye? "
" there's no redemption for the likes of you. "
" he was looking pretty dead to me. "
" nothing you do will change the fact that they are gone. "
" i knew once you got my message, you'd come running. "
" i wonder what you're so guilty about that playing the hero was this important. "
" i can't go to the authorities, it's not an option for me. "
" i am a man of peace, so please do not be hurting me. "
" they almost killed me. "
" maybe i wanna feel good. "
" we're being betrayed. "
" i don't know why people can't be nicer. "
" it's always love that sends us down the rabbit hole. "
" what happened to your face? "
" i do not have friends, times like this are exactly why. "
" i think you should stop interfering with my business. "
" we have no relationship, i owe you nothing. "
" only a fool plays a game without knowing the rules first, or the other players. "
" you shouldn't be calling me. "
" ambitious men are never content. "
" it's not your fault you're weak. "
" you really need me to keep quiet, eh? "
" everything has its use by date, and everyone. "
" you can be such a child sometimes. "
" you can't spend the rest of your life refusing to care for anyone in case they leave. "
" my life isn't any man's to give or take. "
" we can compel men not to be bad but we cannot compel them to do good. "
" you have a fairly scary reputation. "
" this place means a great deal to me. "
" i can't treat it if i can't see it. "
" i didn't want to wake you. "
" will you come with me to my place? i don't wanna be there on my own. "
" there is no shame in being afraid. "
" you're a long way from home to be making threats. "
" for a man who doesn't want trouble you keep interesting company. "
" i am a businesswoman, this is the price. "
" what, so that's it? try to kill a guy and then eat ice cream? "
" what you want matters little. "
" he saw me alone and he tried to take his chance. "
" you're a hard man to find. "
" do my eyes deceive? is this a ghost? "
" what is this, are you jealous? "
" i liked it when you defended me tonight. "
" i'm beginning to think it's because you're scared. "
" you haven't said a word since we left. "
" please do not ruin my happy thoughts, your face is very... children will cry if they look at this face. "
" you don't have to suffer anything if you're strong enough to deny it. "
" i missed you. "
" it's such an arrogance to love someone and to expect it in return. "
" i never wanna be dependent on anyone else again. "
" perhaps a simple, earthy, no-strings fuck would do you a world of good. "
" just 'cause i left, it doesn't mean i don't still love you. "
" sounds like a date. "
" i'd prefer to get there alive. "
" have they hurt you? "
" where would the fun be if we all did as we are told? "
" i'm leaving you alone like this. "
" you're my friend, even if you don't want any. "
" don't forget who works for who. "
" you don't need to justify yourself to me. "
" you can hate me and still not let the tea go to waste. "
" i'm the one who will get the job of killing you. "
" loyalty comes out of love, or fear, or debt. "
" i never said i was a good person. "
" you can't blame yourself for that. "
" i am too happy you are alive. "
" you are a good man and you think too much. "
" the only thing stronger than love is the hate left behind when it's gone. "
" if you want me to beg, you will wait a long time. "
" the world has no place for me. "
" i don't think you've ever loved anyone in your life. "
" a warrior has to follow orders, even when they don't like them. "
" just 'cause i don't want you here doesn't mean i've forgotten my manners. "
" have dinner with me, just like two normal people. "
" i keep them to remember what a terrible human being i am. "
" you can love someone and do terrible things to them, all at the same time. "
" it's good to be nervous, it means it matters. "
" i think you shot me, you bastard. "
" you're fucking dying, and i'm the only thing that's gonna stop it, okay? "
" i made sure i wasn't followed. "
" i never stabbed anyone in my life, i'm not gonna start now. "
" good way to get yourself killed. "
" is this your blood? "
" how does it feel? knowing you're gonna fucking die and there's nothing you can do about it. "
" i never wanna see you again. "
" if you lie, then a crow will bite you. "
" you are the cause of my problems. "
" we need to keep you out of sight. "
" i almost had it, and then you made me forget. "
" i hate doing nothing. "
" the whole point of you staying is so that you can stay out of harm's way. "
" you're gonna bleed out, you need to stay still. "
" i have never seen so much money before in my whole life, forget all in one bag. "
" stop! they're gonna hear you! "
" you've lost the right to ever say my fucking name. "
" i've had enough of this shit, do you hear me?! "
" short version: it all went to shit. "
" a coward isn't capable of exhibiting love. "
" you'll never need to catch me as much as i need to be free. "
" every time we cage a man, we close him in with hate. "
#( sentence. )#sentence starters#sentence meme#rp starters#rp meme#shantaram#tv series#drama#thriller#crime#tumblr kept removing my bold quotation marks so i gave up
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‼️FHJY EP 3 SPOILERS‼️
all my thoughts of episode three
AS PER MURPH LOOKS SO GOOD
as does lou
Riz literally biking to school with everyone’s files to make sure they can make it through the year !! stop he’s so cute
and then you and Adaine are nerds
actually for the wizards I’m super chill
riz literally finding out what college they could all get into!!!
figs multiclassing appears to be undocumented, how would her bard teacher know that she multiclassed if she never goes to class
me and riz would write three essays each
the lone wolf. his record is not as bad as it should be
‘i cast friends on both of you just to get you in the car’
‘it’s a 10 and i’ll give you the help action’
‘fluffier than mine?’
LYDIA IS MY LOVE, MY FAVOURITE MORHER (except u sklonda)
‘you guys missed this, song of the summer! kids are going nuts’ ‘this emo song starts over the radio’ proceeds to play the hardest song i’ve heard in ages
riz making adaine her own folder for fun that he signed inside ,, i will sob over this little goblin
a dragon with a receding hairline
the thistlespring sex binder stop
gorgug is such an awkward little guy
fabian not knowing how to make food, stop my baby has been abandoned
‘a little hobgoblin with a brass lollipop’
sorcery teacher jace, i would die for you. ur the teacher i would fancy in school
big shoes to follow
figs bad luck continues
‘should we sign up for student government? there’s gotta be a cabinet right?’
mazey is a highland cow stop i love her
stop she’s a dancer, was she at the camp fabian was meant to be at??
‘oh you’re in the buttcrushers?’
she’s worse than kalvaxus
badidas
FABIAN IS OLDER BECAUSE HE WAS ADVENTURING WITH HIS DAD??
‘that would impact you as well’ ‘yeah’
‘i’m going to go to bard class, you’re going to love this, but not as myself’
im going to cast disguise self on myself to look like an emo girly
wanda childa
here girlie
porter is hot shut up
gorgug getting told he can’t do the mcats because he’s a barbarian. basically being told he’s not smart enough to do artificer classes because he’s inherently stronger, angrier and ‘less smart’ stop
im going into a worry
fig taking fabian to a wizard class because she doesn’t know where bard classes are
‘fabian, you said something alarming and it made me curious’
riz’s entire interaction with jawbone
Kristen chillis applebees
KRISTENS BROTHER
the way it’s never really spoken about how kristen, as the oldest, protected her younger brothers from her parents but she’s been gone a long time and she’s now seeing that. behavioural pattern continued to them treating her oldest younger brother the same she was treated
BUD CUBBY STICKING UP FOR KRISTEN BY TELLING HER PARENTS THEYRE AWFUL PEOPLE STOPPP
‘a hard couple months?’ ‘in the dark? where’s your god? he’s the sun god right?’
‘that’s what you think’ ‘bye girlie’
adaine realising she can’t even afford her school supplies now is so sad
‘what smell would be enticing to emo kids? maybe cigarettes and peach schnapps’
i just wanda’d in
they’re investigating all of figs disguises???
figs agent is rubens agent too fuck off
kristen adhd confirmed
also kristen deflecting all of her trauma with humour is so sad
‘maybe i could just have a tiny little religion of weirdos who wanna gamble’
cassandra i love you but kristen is a literal child
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CASSANDRA IS WITH KALINA
#dimension 20#fantasy high#intrepid heroes#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#fig faeth#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#gorgug thistlespring
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Is barbarian really that bad most people only associate it with Conan and most people who play it only wanna be Conan
yeah i think its pretty bad
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weekly tag wednesday 🍬
tagged by @jrooc @deedala & @energievie! 🤎
🔠 Favourite nickname you’ve ever been given: grew up with my mom calling me bug, my husband started calling me bug independently of that, and i always really liked it. i'm just a lil bug.
🗺️ Where are you located? new england 🍂
🥶⛱️ What season is it where you are now? almost winter ❄️
🥳 Favourite tradition this time of year: listening to this really bad playlist with my husband while we decorate the tree. 🎄
🥧 Favourite holiday food: sweet potatoes and stuffing. with gravy.
☕️ Mulled wine, eggnog or hot apple cider? mulled wiiiiine 🍷
🍗 Turkey, Ham or Nut Roast (Or Tofurkey?)? i don't really like any of them, but if i had to pick i'd say turkey.
🏔️🏖️ Would you rather spend the December holidays in: A cabin in the woods surrounded by snow, or a house on the beach with sun and sand? a cabin in the woods surrounded by snow. i don't love snow or the cold honestly, but for christmas i want to be somewhere cozy and snowy, and i love being in the woods 💚
❄️ Are you pro-snow or anti-snow? i think i lean anti-snow. i find it really pretty but i don't like when there's so much i get trapped in the house. i also don't like being cold lol.
⛄️ Have you ever built a snowman? sure have! many!
⛷️ Skiing or Snowboarding? no thank you! that is too much time spent in the snow.
🎍 Do you decorate for the holidays? yeah! we don't go crazy but we put up a tree and some cute little things around the house.
🎬 Favourite holiday movie? my cousins and i have been watching nightmare before christmas together every christmas eve since we were little, so probably that. we sing along and stuff, it's cute
📖 Favourite holiday fanfic? oh no, i don't think i have one! i need recs!
🎥 If you were to star in a Hallmark movie, who would be your love interest? Where would it take place? love interest would be rahul kohli. the setting doesn't matter much, i'd be too distracted by trying to have sex with rahul kohli to care where i am
tagging @howlinchickhowl @rereadanon @gallawitchxx @thisdivorce @heymrspatel @darlingian @whatwouldmickeydo @such-a-barbarian @whatthebodygraspsnot @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @palepinkgoat @crossmydna if you guys wanna play 💜
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tips for making combat as easy as possible in the switch zelda games? i get so nervous with every single monster and can barely play the game 🫣
oh babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thank you for letting me yap about zelda this is my favorite thing to do!!!!!
i'm gonna talk about totk bc that's what i'm playing rn but if you're playing botw and something here doesn't really work, let me know and i'll help you out! i had strategies for every monster too. i'm also not talking about actual bosses so if you need help with any of those also let me know, they're all very easy once you understand their mechanics :)
if you're not good with flurry rush or parrying or any of those things, don't worry neither am i! so here's a list on how i brute force everything as efficient as i can!
careful, long ass post below :D
some little tips:
every monster has a mechanic, you just need to learn their patterns and repeat them a bunch
you can always pause to change your armor or weapon or heal and your inventory is huge so you can have a bunch of food that will help you
if all else fails, you can teleport yourself somewhere else and come back when you feel ready!
if there's a specific enemy that scares you too much, there's no shame in checking a map online to mark them in your game to avoid them
read what npcs tell you about monsters, they give you a ton of hints on how to fight many of them
if you're playing botw, stasis is an amazing tool! once you upgrade it you can freeze creatures for a bit which is very useful. also great to detect if a decayed guardian is still alive or if a big rock is actually a talus
if you're on totk, you can also detect monsters like taluses and evermeans with the camera!
other tips: if you know all of this skip to where i start talking about monsters
FOOD: very important! what makes zelda so easy is that you can literally pause at any moment and fill your hearts. and you don't really need to be a chef you just need to know what ingredients do. if you add five of the same ingredient it will give you a better effect. here's an example of stuff i use often:
hylian tomatoes: a bunch of hearts
hearty truffles/radishes: max hearts + extra hearts
sundelions: restores gloom damage
mighty bananas: attack power
ironshrooms: defense
(in botw durians were the best fucking thing in the game bc they were so easy to farm. i miss them sm!!!)
etc. you can google this if you wanna learn more but basically always have some of these in your inventory for when you're going to attack monsters
ARMOR: in this playthrough i just maxed my champion's leathers, hylian hood and hylian trousers. they were easy (just time consuming) to upgrade and it's not bad for when you're getting hit.
other than that i'm trying to upgrade as much as i can the snowquill set so i don't get frozen, the flamebreaker set so i don't get cooked in the volcano, the desert voe set so i don't melt in the desert and the depths set so gloom doesn't destroy me. for electric attacks i just use the lightning helm and in another universe i would also upgrade the barbarian set bc of the attack but i will NOT be fighting a bunch of lynels absolutely fucking not.
remember to use the correct set when you're fighting elemental monsters btw! many times the elemental attacks literally won't hurt you at all if you have the set bonuses
other than that i don't really bother upgrading almost anything else bc it's annoying and not worth it! this is the only completionist thing i don't care about
WEAPONS (kinda useless for botw): FUSE 👏 YOUR 👏 WEAPONS 👏 monster horns are good for fusing, fusing weapons with other weapons is good too (especially the gloom ones so they don't hurt you!). i'm killing a bunch of talusses and flux constructs, the thing they drop is always good to fuse. go crazy with fusing! remember you can also fuse stuff to the master sword!!!
also remember to fuse stuff to your arrows!
bomb flowers: your absolute best friend (rip auto bombs)
eyes: hits monsters right on their weak points
chuchu jellies or elemental fruits: amazing for elemental monsters
puffshrooms: monsters have a harder time noticing you
gibdo bones: easy to get in the desert and add A TON of strength to your arrows (bad for melee weapons tho)
another thing is shields! i barely use them bc i'm bad at this game, so i have most of my shields fused to rockets!!! since revali's gale is gone (rip) this is what i use now to get out of a tricky situation or to avoid climbing a lot.
SAGES (also useless for botw): hot take but i actually like having them around, i only dismiss them when they get annoying but they're actually quite useful. they usually take down small monsters like keeses and octorocks before i even realize i'm being attacked and when fighting a big monster or a horde of monsters they help you take them down faster! mineru is the only one i never use
okay i can't think of anything else so here's my strategy for every overworld monster (not actual bosses like ganondorf)
MONSTERS!!
(if you're on botw you don't need to worry about frox, gleeok, constructs or gloom spawns btw, also remember stasis is your friend here and the champions abilities are amazing, especially urbosa's)
HINOX: [weak point: the eye] easiest monster to kill. just throw an arrow with an eye and you will hit it right in the eye lol. once it's down get a double handed weapon and long press the Y button to do that spin attack or do the fast attack with a spear weapon, that works too.
STONE TALUS: [weak point: ore on top or back] get underneath it and use ascent to get on top, then use a double handed weapon with a rock fused or something to make a hammer and hit it with the spin attack on the ore thing. for taluses with the ore on the back just spam arrows with bombs (not in the ones in the volcano caves tho they will explode in your face!!!!) for frost talus just throw a fire fruit at it to stun it fast and same for igneo talus with ice fruits. for battle taluses try to kill the bokoblins first if you can bc they're a nuisance, then ascend on the platform and hit it. oh and i just learned that if they throw their arm at you you can throw it back with Recall omg!!!!
MOLDUGA: [weak point: the belly] these bitches were so much easier in botw with auto bombs but worry not they're still pretty easy. they can't see you but they can hear your steps in the sand so all you have to do is get on top of any rock or building and throw something at the sand like an apple or something you won't miss. it will hear whatever you throw and come out of the sand to attack it, this is when you throw an arrow with a bomb at them to stun them. now just get close and hit it on the belly and that's it just get back on top of a rock when it goes into the sand again.
FLUX CONSTRUCTS: [weak point: the one different cube that moves around] for these guys Recall and Ultrahand are the tools you need. use Ultrahand to grab the weak point cube, if you miss it just keep removing any block you can grab. once you grab the correct one you will take apart the whole thing so just find the weak one and smack it as much as you can. for the one attack where it throws a bunch of cubes at you just run to the side so they don't hit you and then get on top of one and use Recall on it, it will bring you right to the weak point.
FROX: [weak point: the eye] for froxes you can do the same thing that you do with hinox where you throw an arrow at the eye but i find it easier to wait for it to inhale you kirby style and this is when you throw a bomb at it. it will stun it quickly and you have enough time to get on top of it and destroy the ores it has on its back. if it charges at you just fucking run to the side so it doesn't eat you.
GLEEOKS: [weak point: the three eyes] the scariest one so far but not that bad after you fight it. as always just throw an arrow with an eye at it but this time throw three as fast as you can! if you have a lynel bow that does x3 arrows that would be better but if not just spam eye arrows. like with any other elemental, fire against ice and ice against fire, but any eye is fine so don't worry if you don't have enough. once it's down hit it on one of the heads. if you can manage to kill it fast then yay you don't get to the hardest part but if not! it will fly up high and charge at you some elemental attacks:
frost gleeoks will throw some icicles at you, you can see where they fall so avoid them, then get on top of one and use Recall to go up high. also it's better if you don't have any flame weapons equipped at this moment cause they will melt the icicles!
flame gleeoks throw a big fireball, get the hell out of there so the impact doesn't hit you. this will create an updraft that will take you close to it
thunder gleeoks throw lightning at you, but before they hit you, you'll see some beams of light on the floor. avoid them and after they hit they also create an updraft that will get you up there
once near the gleeok just do the eye arrows thing again and it will fall down. they take fall damage so i usually just have to do this whole thing once!
LYNELS: not a boss thank god but probably harder. my strategy: avoid them :) but if you have to fight them: throw a puffshroom so it can't see you, once you're closer throw an arrow with an eye to stun it, then run to the back of it and mount it, once on top you can hit it five times so get the strongest fucking weapon you have! then repeat the whole thing until it's dead 🙏 it's better to fight them from up close cause they have pretty hard attacks when you're far away
GLOOM HANDS: RUN!!! jk (kinda) they can't climb anything so get on top of a platform or something and spam bombs at all the hands. don't wait too much tho cause the hands will reappear if you don't kill them all. then there's phantom ganon but i don't find it that hard? just hit him a lot and have some good food on you cause it does hit hard. i avoid these fuckers as much as i can bc they're too scary lol and not that worth it. the worst part is that they appear out of fucking nowhere so i always mark their location on the map and get the hell out of there.
people will tell you that phantom ganon and lynels give the best weapons which is true but i find them not that worth it considering how much i hate fighting them! so don't feel like you need to fight them if you don't want to
THAT'S IT I THINK??????? don't be scared remember that they all have very specific mechanics so just repeat the patterns and you will get rid of all of them super fast!!! if you need help with literally any other monster let me know! i actually love combat in these games cause it's pretty easy and many times very silly
#phew i wrote a lot of stuff here#i also went in game to check everything i'm saying makes sense#i hope this is helpful 🙏#always happy to yap about zelda#replies#long post#totk#tears of the kingdom
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stupid stories
by: denningsjawbreaker
summary: Reader is sick and tired of the damn Glass of Ice Story and confronts Carol but she has other plans ...
A/N: so am I cause shit actually made me pissed off 📴😀 but hey kinda hot stuff happens at the end so wazzup .
WARNINGS ⚠️: cursing + SMUTTT
" aren't you one snappy cookie "
what was so fucking important about this damn glass of Ice Story ?! You were so physically and emotionally upset at it. Like was Carol and Barbarian really holding onto this story ? It wasn't even goddamn funny.
You really were sick and fucking tired of it like every fucking day it's all about that story and you were just done.
You proceeded to go to the hair salon where Carol was currently having two massages at once which you were gonna ask later cause that looked hella good. You knock on the side of the wall and Carol who hummed signaled you to walk in front of her and hovering the tall woman who sincerely looked smaller compared to her actual height.
"well are you just gonna stand there looking stupid or you gonna speak ?" Carol asked with a raised brow waiting for a response as she sits up straight [dunno maybe she got a bad back ] .
You sit down on a crate and curled your lip up . Carol had to stifle in a laugh at your "toughness".
" Why do you hang onto that stupid Ice story ? Honestly it's been 30 years since that happened. Let. it. fucking Go. To be honest, it ain't funny at ALL. Don't you get a bad migraine just reusing it all day? And for what?! To up win Barbarian who TO be honest probably isn't even worth the hassle. My head is spinning throughout the 10th time of the mentioning of it. Just be like fucking Elsa and LET IT GO " you say and heavy breathes and sighs as your hair falls over your face.
She smirked a bit impressed actually and chuckles a bit leaning a bit closer.
" aren't you one snappy cookie ? " she teased a bit in a mocking tone with her head tilt starting at you a bit.
You cross your arms at Carol's attention skills as it's obvious you were SERIOUS in what you just ranted.
" Carol...I'm serious. It's terrible and it's lame. Pick a new story that's actually FUNNY. It probably wasn't even yours or Barb's " you cross your arms and lean against the wall.
Carol raised her eyebrow and stands up slowly and walks towards you. This 5'8 woman who now was towering over you got you gulping and shivering in ur fucking timbers FORREALS.
" and what makes you think that? You calling me a liar babygirl ?" She says in a smooth tone and has her hand near your head .
" i- I'm just saying bro-"
"did you just BRO ME ?"
"UHM....my condolences 😔🙏"
Carol places her hand slowly on your waist and slowly making her wait to your waistband of your pants and plays with it.
" You really wanna THREAD carefully babygirl....your actions still have consequences . Or did that pretty little mind of yours need a demonstration?" She puts her hand slowly inside of your pants circling the fabric that covers your clit.
You moan against her and lips part looking at her cause that was nOT going according to plan. Plan Y/N ? cancelled .
"holy- Fuck may-maybe just maybe we can talk- or not - lets not talk anymore..oh shit " you struggled against the fingers that are now inside of you .
Carol smug grin widens and just pulls your pants down along side with your cheap ass prison underwear. She pulls your leg up as she begins finger fucking the shit out of you watching your head go back against the wall and just struggling. Before your release, she goes on her knees and pulls ur beautiful folds over her mouth and sucks your come that flows out smoothly out your now sticky wet folds.
" fuck you taste good...never get enough of that" she mumbles as her tongue is still inside of you waiting for more come to flow out .
You on the other hand ....ur a fucking mess...like a wet hot sticky mess. You had messed up Carol's hair since you were pulling on it as she ate you out. You shudder against her tongue as more sticky wet fluids pour out resulting into you letting out a loud moan as your legs shake.
Carol smirks licking you up and helps you put your bottom wear on. She strokes your messy hair out and gives you a deep kiss only lasting a few seconds. She holds you in her arms and looks down at you with a smirk.
" Looks like I fucking turned your pathetic whining into screams. Guess you're the new glass of Ice baby " she smirks and chuckles loudly quite proud of her joke.
You narrow your eyes at the mention and roll them as you wrap your arms around her waist.
" I still hate that stupid story "
She chuckles and kisses your head .
" I know but you know that story happened to me "
" okay Caroline "
" it's Carol babe. "
" nope. It's Caroline now "
"bullshit"
"BULLTRUE....Caroline "
Carol rolled her eyes and scoffs and massages your inner thigh.
" round two ?"
"no Caroline *
" dammit "
You chuckle and kisses her cheek.
"We will see about that later "
-
so....first time doing smut and posting it HELP okay this turned out longer than it should be but quite like it.
LMK if you guys want more and I'll tag you as well.
hope you enjoy
#carol denning x reader#older carol#orange is the new black imagine#carol denning imagine#henny russell#little debbie murderers#oitnb#explore#carol denning#smut#carol denning smut
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i dont think ive seen any of ur pcs other than afhiri (who i adore) basically i am here to say if u want share pics and some facts abt ur other pcs!! :D
this is rue she is my durge and her playthrough got murdered by durge related bugs that i didnt wanna deal with and would rather wait for them to fix the cutscenes <3 also known as rue the impaler shes a wild magic sorcerer who got fed up of being one shot and became a tank with a barbarian multiclass <3 afhiri is a resist durge who i can explain best as those uncomfortable and uneasy to be around strange emo girls who stare into ur soul with lifeless eyes. shes pretty... but shes weird
my oc dru kind of got cannibalised by rue but still exists.. cuz dru's intended path literally doesn't work because i made her before i finished the game and the ending doesn't allow her to exist and it would have to be rewritten by me so much that i just don't have the energy so dru just lives in my lil au "what i wish the ending allowed" space in my brain <3 i'm not gonna share a picture because this also allows me to have her exist outside of the games limitations so no picture <3 she's so much cooler than the cc allows <3 dru is a high elf who is delusional and thinks shes actually a fey eladrin and is very uncomfortable to be around because shes just insane. completely isolated from society and the world and would have the hermit background if they didnt remove it .. larian literally didnt want her to exist.
unfortunately due to my pc death i no longer have asuras cc stuff so she will need to be remade but... this is asura shes literally terrible. shes my unfortunately extremely power hungry character who will accept every single option to make her stronger. she fucks mindflayers. and minthara. and she and minthara will rule the entire world together as tyrant wives and maybe they ascend. true love stuff. asura won't live until i'm confident minthara isn't a broken fucking mess . i think playing asura will make me worse. shes like how people play bhaalist durges who love their daddy but shes not the durge. shes just a bad person
THIS IS TAV. yeah his name is tav. they're just a tav man idk. this is my first character from full release tav is an ancients paladin whose entire vibe is "you don't quite suite your oath" and that's fun. they are the most lawful good boring ass motherfucker you ever met and literally my favourite type of character. he's all about Justice and Order and Goodness and Sacrificing Your Happiness For The Greater Good. that kind of annoying paladin! <3 tav never got to finish the game because my pc died and killed them. oh and tav has a twin who dedicated their life to annoying tav because .. like. lawful good paladin? DESERVES to be annoyed
which is really funny because the twin is my EA character! also tav! see the thing is. paladin tav is actually tav. but this monster? tav isn't their name. but they go by tav. just so they can hopefully fuck with their twins reputation. doing terrible things in their lawful good twins name!!! i still can't decide if i want twin tav to work with the guide and kiss nine-fingers keenne or work with the zhentharim and kiss rugan. or maybe they're a double agent and kiss both. idk!!! twin tav has literally no moral compass and just does shit for money mostly. and to make their twins life hell <3
and lastly i have this dude who doesn't have a place on my oc page because he doesn't have a name or nothing like. he's completely blank beyond i KNOW he's something to do with afhiri. so fun fact afhiri's lore was leading towards this dude being some sort of outer planes entity, either a god (dead star) or the herald of such, and baited afhiri through a portal as part of her destiny. this is how she gains her wild magic. BUT this was scrapped for what ended up happening (afhiri befriends a chwinga. cuteness ensues). HE STILL EXISTS IN AFHIRIS LORE SOMEWHERE - HE IS LITERALLY A COMPANION IN HER PARTY - when my pc stops crashing every time i play bg3 he's going to be on my blog a lot because im gonna use fancy editing to make him a companion and shove him in cutscenes. afhiri and he will kiss btw. i definitely don't want him to be actually a tiefling though this is just a form he uses to walk faerun and not to cause any ruckus... and to make afhiri feel ease around him <3 ALSO HES NOT ACTUALLY AFHIRIS GUARDIAN... u will see who is when my pc stops dying <3
#fray.txt#ask#imoge#i might put this in oc tags later i need to think on it but#i hope this is good#its also long#sorry#SLKJFSDFS#I HOPE I DIDNT MISS ANYTHING#I DO HAVE SOME VERY VERY WIP CHARACTERS I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE SHARING YET BUT#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii#thANK U FOR ASKING
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Dumb background ideas for ttrpg classes/jobs
A middle aged barbarian that goes into a rage by yelling “LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!” Bonus points if their name is Barb
A bard that gets their magical powers from the art of memes. Often casts spells like hideous laughter, viscous mockery and confusion
A cleric that stans a famous boy band so hard that they gained magical powers from their devotion. Optional: reflavour their subclass to domain of parasociality
A druid/paladin that has vowed to avenge their childhood best friend, a sewer rat, that was killed by an exterminator
A fighter that actually sucks at fighting and uses dramatic theater stunts that barely even touches the target. It honestly just confuses the enemy more than anything else
A sorcerer that spend all their youth as a gamer only consuming energy drinks. It altered their body permanently and now they have weird magic because of it
A rogue that got super good at sneaking and hiding because they just really love listening to peoples gossip
A character that only became a ranger because they liked how it sounded in fiction. They honestly really suck at it and hate being outside, but they thrive on how 🌱✨aesthetic✨🌱 they feel when they shoot their bow
A person so deeply devoted to their job that they have become a warlock. Their boss isn’t magical though so it’s really weird how that happend?
A wizard who only accidentally learned all their spell while being bored on their job at the magic shop
A character that became a necromancer by complete happenstance as the dark necromancy circle sent an invitation to the wrong address by accident
A character that became a healer after their many chaotic small siblings somehow always managed to hurt themselves and it simply became annoying to heal them without magic after a while…
I wanna see these being played so bad now lol, love these stupid guys
#ttrpg character#dnd#ttrpg#ttrpg ideas#rpg classes#dumb lil guys#rpg ideas#dnd ideas#ttrpg prompts#rpg
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The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits Sentence Starters
( dialogue prompts from the eleventh episode of the eleventh season of showtime's shameless. feel freed to edit and change as you see fit )
"How the hell'd you get in here?"
"Go look it up on goddamn Wikipedia."
"Hey, who's that?"
"I accidentally got a bartending job."
"I maybe got offered a job today."
"What the fuck are you gonna do?"
"Don't look so glum, kid."
"Everybody dies sooner or later."
"I lived a good life."
"I got to live it my way."
"Another round of appletinis, please."
"Give me your keys or at least call an Uber."
"Bars are closing."
"Let's go have an after party."
"Thought you moved out."
"Go fuck yourself."
"You stay up all night again?"
"I do, I wanna listen to you, but could we do it another time?"
"My brain can't switch gears right now."
"Can't wait to get kicked out soon."
"We still having this conversation?"
"I'll still be all alone."
"Then go find somebody to be with."
"I suck at relationships."
"I can't take care of you anymore."
"We're adults now, okay?"
"I'll be out of your hair soon enough, don't worry."
"You're just being dramatic."
"I'm hopelessly wandering in a world I don't recognize."
"It's just a bad morning for you."
"Let's have some fun."
"Either you run the day, or the day runs you."
"Just get in the shower."
"I'm glad we rented this place."
"Every time someone complains, we just apologize and it goes away?"
"I was out of line, and it won't happen again."
"Well, I hope we can all put this behind us."
"You're gonna let them get off that easily?"
"Did you actually just say that?"
"I was fine apologizing to your entitled ass to make all of this go away, but I can't play this game anymore."
"I'm not sure you'll have much of a choice at this point."
"So, with that being said, I take my apology back."
"I'll see you in court, dickwad."
"Hope I don't see you here again."
"I ain't never coming back to this shithole."
"Oh, fuck, please don't tell me that that picture with me in a turtleneck resurfaced on the Internet."
"Why is everybody leaving me?"
"Why do you guys have such a good relationship?"
"I can't even find a partner."
"What's wrong with me?"
"There is nothing wrong with you."
"Everybody I've ever dated has treated me like shit."
"That's because you treat yourself like shit."
"Promise me you'll go home now."
"Let's go spend some money."
"Your dog's wearing a diaper."
"If you're selling, we need to start dating other bars."
"We gotta find our new home."
"Wait, so that's it? You're just leaving us?"
"We need to slow down a little bit here."
"All of this is in our rearview mirror."
"I'm feeling a little unmoored here."
"This is kind of a lot for me to process right now."
"You guys aren't gonna be my neighbors anymore."
"You made the wrong choice."
"Kids are a pain in the ass."
"I want someone to share a life with."
"I mean, I wanna take care of someone."
"It's possible you might be alone for the rest of your life."
"I just mean that your parents were really shitty role models."
"Sounds like everything worked out okay in the romance department."
"I don't know about romance, but I'm still really good at fucking."
"I happen to have a very wild side."
"I didn't wanna leave and lose my spot."
"You ruined love for me!"
"The only way you'll ever have love is to find someone who's an even bigger loser than you are. Then they won't leave you."
"Guess we can scratch bar fight off the list."
"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."
"That's my new mission in life...fuck over the rich."
"Is that my baby?"
"We're gonna be rich tomorrow."
"You're adorable."
"There's a lot about me, though, that you probably aren't gonna like."
"Don't you want a better life?"
"It's too much fuckin' pressure, alright?"
"If you're not happy there, then we don't have to be there."
"You're doing the whole reverse fuckin' psychiatric whatever the fuck."
"You are such a fuckin' barbarian."
"I can't believe we're uprooting our entire life."
"I knew there was emotion in there."
#rp memes#rp prompts#rp starters#sentence starters#roleplay starters#roleplay prompts#show: shameless#episode: the fickle lady is calling it quits#not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme)#when there was me and queue (queue)
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I did a bunch of shit math before work to figure out the carrying capacity and lift strength of the Bg3 companions because I'm a fucking d&d nerd and this is what I do with my free time.
Wyll, Gale, Astarion, and Halsin do not need high strength stats. They are magic weilders (astarion is an arcane trickster so he counts but rouges are not a beefy class either). I know, it's really funny that Boo has a higher strength stat than Halsin, but Boo is the companion of a ranger, a class that has strength as one of its main ability scores and also he's not actually a hamster.
Assuming we're playing by d&d 5e rules, the players handbook states that the carrying capacity of a character is |Strength stat x 15| meaning: Gale, Wyll, and Astarion all having a strength of 8, times that by 15, they can comfortably carry 120 pounds while fighting, running, rolling, jumping, climbing, walking, all that fun stuff.
However, that means their lift weight is different because that 120 only applies to how much they can carry in their backpacks before it's too heavy for them to comfortably move around. Their lift, push, and drag is different. The player handbook says they can push, lift, or drag things up to twice their carrying capacity, meaning their lift is 240. This does encumber them, but that's still how much they can lift. They do move 5 feet slower tho.
Wanna know how much Halsin can carry and lift by d&d stats? Of course you do, you want Halsin to be a beefcake so bad it makes you look stupid.
His carry capacity is 150. His lift is 300. Fitting for a man who can turn into a bear.
Minsc? 180, 360
Karlachs carry capacity is a startling 255 if we go with her 17 strength and times it by 15. Meaning her lift is a horrifying 510. Superhuman. This woman could snap you like a fucking twig. Good for a barbarian.
Lae'zel shares a strength stat with Karlach so she shares her carrying capacity and lift, push, drag weight.
Shadowheart can carry 195, can lift 390. Good for a cleric lifting corpses and shit.
For Minthara check karlachs, they share stats again
For Jaheira, check Halsins, they both have a 10 in strength stats.
So, yeah. Use this for whatever you want.
#excuse my shitty math#im queer i did my best#but i hope this comes in handy for someone#hope people also get an idea of what strength stats translate to as well#just cause the number isn't double digits#doesnt mean theyre weak by any means#just means theres people who are stronger#like some horrific motherfucker with a 20 str#300 carrying capacity and 600 lift btw
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