#I want to actually like convey the weight of the bad things she does

[vonkarma2]

Also do Joanna for the analysis?

Let’s go my own oc B) she’s a side character so this may be kinda hard 

My overall opinion on the character: I actually like her personality (and her design I’ve never posted any art of her I don’t think so like take my word for it I guess lol) but other aspects of her character are kinda hard to balance like I don’t want to be 100% serious like have her character directly represent real situations that we actually have bc she’s also supposed to be like a funny character who does insane things, and that has like emotional moments and an impact on the plot etc etc. So I don’t want to go too over the top with her but I also don’t want to take her too seriously and I don’t want to make her sympathetic but I don’t want to make her too like hateable that you completely hate her every scene she’s in because what I was going for with her character was that you’d start out liking her because she seems great but then every so often she’d do something terrible and it’d remind you not to trust her or whatever, which is kinda hard to do but whatever. But one thing I really like abt her character is her relationship with her son, I felt like I could umm relate to it I guess even though it’s of course not as extreme, but yeah I feel like that subplot has a lot of potential to be really interesting and sad to me. 

One virtue they have: Well first of all she is a great parent she loves her son would do anything for him has helped him in many situations they are very close etc etc Ive talked abt that before though. So I want to talk about another thing umm ok one thing about her is that she is not intimidated by anyone and doesn’t let fear of consequences stop her from doing what she thinks is important like ever since she was really young she has been that way.  So this has the potential to have terrible consequences considering she is a very bad person. But at least she isn’t like cowardly or whatever

One flaw they have: I’ve said this before with Joanna she’s like the best interpersonally but more broadly she’s like straight up evil. Like in that she’s willing to torture/kill people for research even when it isn’t strictly necessary just because it’s easier. She doesn’t actively enjoy it except in a morbid curiosity way she’s just able to completely shut off feeling bad for them because it’s for the sake of something she believes in. I feel like unlike many other Relesians she’s working with she doesn’t believe in cultural superiority or anything like that (whereas several of the people she works with and hates do (those same people eventually try to kill her by the way))… but she does think other governments losing their autonomy to Reles would be a good thing because she doesn’t trust their processes to be as efficient or reliable or whatever. In the end she is incredibly self righteous to the point of not trusting anyone but herself to make what she considers to be the right decisions (which is a major contrast with Lucia who doesn’t think she has the ability to impact anything and all and feels like she has no idea what to do whereas Joanna has a vision for like how the entire world should be and believes in it wholeheartedly)and also shockingly callous when it comes down to it, like she’s capable of being very compassionate and considerate when she wants to be but when it becomes inconvenient she doesn’t care at all. This is several flaws I’m sorry

Favorite moment from their arc: I like the part where she killed the king of Zeolan hell yeah get him fuck that guy. Shot him in the head let’s go. There are other moments from her arc that are better character wise or honestly more dramatic/interesting to me but this is my favorite part bc like she was almost assassinated for moving too quickly/being an unpredictable rogue element so they were honestly kind of regretting trusting her. But their attempt failed so she was like ok bitch you thought that was too fast what now. And killed him

Least favorite moment from their arc: I’m going to answer this from the perspective of like what has been the most difficult to come up with I have to say her introduction and interaction with Rocio. I have no idea how that would go it’s killing me. And because the reason for their interaction is not fleshed out well at all like the actual plot surrounding it I really have to develop that I guess

One relationship they have with another character: I guess I can only really talk abt her and Joseph so here it is. I have talked about it before though but basically he doesn’t have friends his own age in real life he was bullied at school which he also sucks at he’s very shy with people his own age, she’s close with him encourages him supports him and wants nothing but the best for him. However this closeness is eventually ruined when he finds out about various deeply fucked up things she’s been doing leaving him feeling alone and like he has to stop her somehow, and also they like live in the same place so he’s very paranoid around her. Which leads to her becoming somewhat concerned like she’s not suspicious of him at all but she is very worried especially because it just gets worse over time.  Which is great because that’s yet another thing she doesn’t need since Rocio stole from her + those fuckers in the state government won’t listen to anything she says, so she’s generally pretty frustrated. Ok that’s off topic but yeah it’s important that their relationship has basically been 100% positive (although of course Joseph became more reserved as he got older, and she doesn’t like how he’s prone to wasting all day doing nothing, but that’s just typical stuff and she genuinely doesn’t mind that much) up until this point so it’s literally like the most reliable thing either of them had in their lives has been ruined. Kinda depressing he’ll be ok I swear he has other family and even to an extent friends. She won’t though 

One relationship I'd like to see explored from this character: She really only interacts with 2 named characters or like has a relationship with them personally. Maybe her and Rocio because they are very similar (Rocio’s not As bad but still) but hate each other, or at least Joanna hates Rocio. So having her learn more about them could be interesting, it would definitely not change her mind though because she hates them not for who they are but for what they represent. Strangely enough her reasons for this are actually pretty reasonable like she’s right abt the wizard system being pretty fucked. So I guess she might even be able to convince Rocio of that too (<they don’t have any love for the system either they just see it as a vehicle through which to achieve their own goals).

What I would have liked to see happen with them in the media: Hmmm well besides things that I’ve already determined are going to happen I’d like to do something with what she does like right after the story which is go into hiding in a remote town or whatever forever with no hope of ever achieving her ideals. So from her perspective the world lost out on a utopian future mostly because of her actions, and even worse she can never see her son again. Which I suppose is somewhat sad but she had it coming soooo 😋😋😋 sadder for him I guess

Extra bonus opinion: I think she’s pretty funny here are some comedic aspects of her character

she loves Joseph so much her thoughts of him are as equally high priority as like her evil world domination plans

similarly to Gloria she will say whatever she wants including being incredibly rude because she doesn’t believe in dishonesty. People need to know that she does not like them and thinks they’re stupid. (

willing to kill at very little provocation 

the fact that I have to work really hard not to make the end of her story too similar to Walter White. Spoilers for breaking bad I guess 

[ms-all-sunday]

its not actually a bad thing that oda only depicts women he finds attractive because as far as the content of the personalities of women he finds attractive he has amazing taste. he just really needs to diversify how he draws them visually.

i am insulted generally when people dont acknowledge that the visual designs and the personalities of women he depicts come from the same place. (i think it says more about you than you think when you say "i cant believe oda would want to design (insert female character) as attractive!") while on face value this is contradictory because oda does like to play with the idea of feminism repeatedly in his work to various degrees and various amounts of success and failure if you think about it from his perspective it is absolutely not. and in general i would say that the depiction of nami and robin as attractive is a good thing (because of their personalities and because the reasons they are framed as attractive have substance. i think nami speaks for herself here)

it's just that he draws them as overly conventionally attractive and that it gives off the impression they need to be conventionally attractive to have the substantial framing of their unconventional traits as attractive in the first place.

every woman in one piece gets this treatment. (which is bad, obviously, but it does come from logic that makes sense.)

at worst though it gives off the impression that even women with personalities outside of what the patriarchy deems palatable need to be conventionally attractive to have substance or weight.

im a big advocate for namis design as a design i think is good for her specifically but I can argue for a more unconventional design (making her fat for example) and i will do so now.

I think what's lost in Nami's design is nami is constantly playing with what is acceptable for a woman and what isn't, the juxtaposition in her personality is a key component of her character, which is lost in her design. she just appears as a "normal girl character" and looses the tension that makes her so compelling. one can argue namis design is too conventional and that she wouldn't adhere this closely to what is expected of her, visually. she doesn't need to be this conventionally attractive, as the core competent of her design that conveys important elements of her character is her femininity, not her conventional attractiveness. it doesn't actually matter if she's conventionally attractive or not, because what she subverts is the expectations of women, femininity and how hyper-femininity is perceived within the context of the norm. none of that requires her to be conventionally attractive, and I think in the beginning her design aimed to juxtapose and create tension in the way I'm thinking here (her early early designs, pre ts base design) but that over time became more and more feminine and so the tension was lost. but if she were fat for example, the tension wouldn't have been lost at all. even in her post ts design, where she remains ultra feminine making her fat gives back the tension between conventional and unconventional in her design, as well as having her visually take up more space, indicative of her personality. she's not afraid to take up space.

I would go into how robins design is bullshit now but robins design is just pretty obviously bullshit there's no argument to be made over whether it'd be better with a different body type it just would.

[demani-dusk]

I really loved Babel or the Necessity of Violence a lot and I want to get some more of my own thoughts out.

What I liked: I mostly read/listen to/watch scifi/fantasy stories, and while I love scifi/fantasy for allegory and metaphor that can focus in on and provide sharp commentary on the real or how the hyper real can heighten the emotions of a real thing, it turns out it was very grounding to read a story about empire set in the actual British empire about people who would have been its actual victims. And even then, I really do love the fantastical elements of the setting and the way silverwork and translation convey the ideas and themes so well.

I like the way the premise of the story and the positions of the characters so clearly and directly conveys the exploitation and extraction of imperialism, the way educating and shaping Robin into an Oxford student is so deeply and inherently abusive. I love that actual real world translation work from the time fits so neatly into the story. Commentary on everything being translated into English but rarely would something be translated from one colonized language to another. Commentary on the way imperialists treat texts written by cultures they don't respect. It all works together so satisfyingly well.

Translation as a kind of magic, as a central theme is also just such a great tool for a writer to do fun and good writing stuff with. I love the way etymology and translations give weight and new layers of meaning to the text the way other literary devices might. It's a book where the thinness of any single language is part of the conceit of how the magic works and Kuang is like, supplementing the inherent thinness of language by offering the reader translations as supplement, trying to get *us* closer to the "realm of true meaning" as it were.

I love very much Robin's internal turmoil throughout the first 2/3 or so of the story. His love and hatred of Oxford. His inability to choose between his father and his brother. His fear, his wonder, his resentment. The way he feels extremely at home and never at home at Oxford. It's all done extremely well imo.

Things I'm less sure about:

I really wish Victoire were more fleshed out earlier in the book. I think what we get makes sense with the story being Robin's perspective, because Victoire and Letty are pretty much always together and Letty has a way of sucking all the air out of a room. But I still wish more room had been made for us to learn more about Victoire before the last act.

I would like to see a little more about sexism and Letty's relationship to feminism. We know she is very aware of the sexism she faces at Oxford but what does she think of suffragists? I can imagine white feminist Letty supporting women's suffrage and still not taking racism or imperialism seriously, and I can also imagine ivory tower rich girl Letty being entirely skeptical of addressing any social issue in a way that isn't about personally fighting to improve your own position, including sexism. I also think Victoire's experience of misognoir is relatively underexplored and that's too bad.

There's also this thing in the writing I'm not sure how I feel about. That is, there are a couple of intractable arguments characters have repeatedly on and off the page. I found myself not loving this as a reader, but I'm somewhat convinced that the way I didn't like it was that it effectively conveyed the boredom and discomfort of having the same argument over and over without making progress, and isn't that the book doing its job well? I still sort of feel like it would help to get these arguments in ways that highlight different character's perspectives each time or something. Or like, ifl having the same best reappear in a story you want the circumstances to change such that the thing happening feels importantly recontextualized, and I didn't always feel like this was happenijg. idk I'm not sure my instincts about this are good.

Anyway, it's a good book, I liked it a lot.

[foxymoxynoona]

I'll admit I'm struggling with this story, lol. I'm trying to figure out your plan, and not-so-secretly love that I can't. One thing I have noticed, and it might just be my sharp JK bias, but other than when Sasha dumped him, it almost feels like he's always the "bad guy", the one doing stupid shit that causes problems for them. So much so that when I read these other asks, most readers are usually on Sashs's "side" of whatever the current conflict is. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm waiting for something to make me understand why she loves him and stays with him. Sometimes the relationship feels uneven. Yet I know it's not and that she most definitely has her issues. But, he has to have issues too, right? The way he grew up in the spotlight, privileged, prodigious, but also imprisoned in a lot of ways. I don't know what I'm saying here exactly, but I just wonder if his acting out/rebelliousness needs some addressing? If maybe he wanted to be caught? I'm sorry for rambling. I'm avoiding going back to work. Can't wait for what you have planned, as always.

😎 It's great fun watching the tide go back and forth and often eddy into division about who's giving more or causing more problems or pulling more of their weight. There are definitely plenty of "why is she with him" comments but also just about as many "she's holding out on him" comments, etc etc. You could say that Sasha has some deeper attachment issues that impact the relationship while JK is more likely to make short-sighted mistakes, but there are also examples of the opposite for both of them. Truly a mess, haha!

I think I've mentioned before, I think Flux was a lot of rapid growth for Sasha due to her internal conflicts imploding. My Matryoshka leans more into Jungkook's struggles, which surfaced in the last book when he basically melted down over their breakup but were sort of tamped down as he focused on Sasha. Many readers had commented about feeling like Jungkook didn't actually realize or address just how much he struggled in Flux --and here we are in My Matryoshka seeing more things bubble, some of which are his own doing and some of which are a result of his career/lifestyle. He's been pushing boundaries more and more over time as he tries to develop a sense of control and his own identity. It makes sense Sasha is a boundary he'll push against too --and arguably that can be a positive thing, for him to feel confident and secure enough to test that relationship, but the context of boundary pushing is not necessarily... comfortable, let's say.

I think what I'm trying to say is, sometimes "bad" (rebellious, acting out, however you want to phrase it) behavior has a really important ,valuable developmental reason. Look at toddlers and teenagers and the hell they can put their loved ones through 😂 Originally Sasha was part of his boundary pushing, then she became a boundary to push against, and so on.

As for the question "why does she love him/be with him" or the reverse comes up a lot with readers and it's very interesting to me. Why is anyone with the person they're with? Some blend of ilogical emotion/attachment, careful evaluation, choice, and stubbornness despite the difficulties. I suppose there are relationships where things are only ever easy, but for many in long term relationships there are going to be rough patches and it comes down to the individuals in the relationship and how they decide for themselves what's worth staying for or when it's time to leave. From my own personal experience, life can get hard in ways it's impossible to predict, and the impact that past trauma can have on a relationship can be really, really hard to work through on top of that. Hard doesn't necessarily mean not worth it!

It makes sense that we spend a great deal of time evaluating the relationships we see in stories to decide our own boundaries and needs. In this case, I do have a master plan of what I'm trying to convey with their relationship, but it's a long term message. Sometimes I'm so impatient and wish I could just skip ahead or give the answers, but the journey is part of it 😎 So we will all have to be patient and live it.

Trust me, it's harder for me to be patient hahah

[evanpetersbuttocks]

I've been a fan of Evan for a huh long time and looking at his relationships it was mostly him leaving girls for other girls. Following what's been going on for the past few years, emma and evan's relationship has been one big misunderstanding on both sides. She young pretty, shapely, famous aunt Julia Roberts normally pretty woman 😏 Evan at the height of fame eyes hypnotizing smile.

Fight in Montreal an exaggeration on the part of E and so she was mugging him from the beginning only no one knew about it. Had it not been for what happened at that hotel we would never have known the truth about their relationship. I will not hide that Emma more than once left and betrayed E.

Apparently, he also betrayed her, so they complemented each other. Separation- EmmaR's pregnancy shook Evan. Quick action enters Halsey quickly ends ( in my opinion rubbing Emma's nose in it) see I also have someone and "I am very happy with her".

Separation and unfortunate Frances sugar girl and star of Only fans and tumblr. Probably the relationship as others say was just for profit ( I give you you pay me) and an escape from Evan's loneliness.

So to sum up my statement, there is nothing to be overly worried about him when it comes to relationships he just likes toxic women who have power over him. That's probably what attracts him to these women. There were some girls who would have been a good choice for him then he didn't want them. Maybe he found them boring, unsuccessful?

The only thing we should worry about is his mental health, which has not been in the best shape for several years🤧 Maybe he actually hasn't experienced true love from a woman all these years, and it's hard for him to understand what is good and what is bad in a relationship with women. Sorry for the long post I had to give vent to my emotions. Between us super discussions on this blog, keep it up.

Love love and love 😘🥰

^^^^^ this!

thanks for the opinion! it's really interesting for me to read posts like this and to understand other people's thoughts on this topic! (whether they encourage or not the subject of discussion, because thoughts can coincide and diverge, and this is normal). and i agree with you

by the way, when i re-read this text, the thought flashed through my mind that evan most likely really had a substitution of concepts: strong and powerful = abusive/toxic. it may not be conscious, but from all the summing up of his relationship, it shows. and if he considered both mother and emma "strong", then my question is what kind of relationship does his father have with his mother and what is their behavior pattern among themselves, watched by evan, if you know i’m trying to convey 🤔 of course, the reasons for his choice among partners may be different, but i still cannot forget his words 😩

anyway, after the last shoot, he looks refreshed, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and i hope he continues to recover. and that he will come across those roles to which he will say “yes” with confidence, because they are fun and interesting, and not like it was with ryan, when at first evan refused because the roles were too heavy and dark. if we can't (and shouldn't) influence his personal life, we can support him as an actor because he can really handle it!

🫶🏻🌹

[ruinationz]

Guhhh more writing from flippy

Desc from ao3:

(caine voice) cold hands are often a sign that your body is trying to maintain its regular body temperature always having cold hands, however, could mean there's a problem with your blood flow or th

(or, pomni has a bad dream. caine wants to be there for her, even if none of them understand why.)

(it's ya girl back at it again with theory lore lol this is kinda an afterstory of this art i did)

(one of the shorter ones i've done)

(would it count as a request if someone requested the idea after i had the draft?)

actual fic under the cut

That...bizarre ringmaster of the digital circus had discovered the concept of sleep.

So naturally, he had offered to everyone the opportunity to do so after the show. (Which was a collective relief, considering the zany things he had put them all through prior.)

With that, everyone happily obliged to the idea, going their separate ways for the night.

Of course...with sleep, comes dreaming.

And with dreams, come nightmares.

And with nightmares, comes Pomni shooting up in her bed in a cold sweat, gripping onto her black nightgown as she opened her mouth in a silent scream.

...

How pathetic.

"MY DEAR? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS THE MATTER?"

Pomni sharply turned her head with widened eyes to find Caine standing by her bedside.

"AH...I-I'M SORRY IF I SURPRISED YOU, MY DEAR....I SIMPLY JUST WISHED TO CHECK ON MY PERFORMERS. " He said sheepishly, messing with his hands as he looked away for a second and then back to her.

"ARE YOU...ARE YOU ALRIGHT....?"

...

It took her a while to finally calm herself down to the point where she could speak to him properly.

"...I had...a-a bad dream."

Caine tilted his head to the side in curiosity, almost like a dog of some sorts. "A BADDREAM?"

She nodded. "Y-Yeah..."

"WELL...WOULD IT BE HELPFUL IF WE...TALKED ABOUT THAT DREAM...?"

Pomni stared down at the sheets of her bed, then motioned to an empty spot nearby her. "C...Could you...sit down? I-It would make it easier to talk..."

The ringmaster obliged, the weight of the bed shifting ever so slightly as he settled himself down next to her. "...GO AHEAD WHEN YOU ARE READY, MY ASSISTANT."

...

It fell into silence as she made an attempt to find the words to convey how she was feeling.

"...I-It's not like it's...new, you know..."

She stared up at the wall. "...In fact...i-it's one of the first thoughts I've had since I've been here. M-Maybe..." She paused for a moment, before continuing. "...Maybe it w-wasn't a dream at all..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

...

"...I..."

Pomni found herself unable to respond. "I..I-I don't...know."

She gave a sigh and put her head in her hands.

"I-I'm stabbing myself, and then all of a sudden, it's me with the kn-knife. But...why? Wh-Why does it have to happen to m-me specifically...? An-And why is it so f-familiar...??"

...

I need help, don't I?

"...OH...MY DEAR, I..."

She felt Caine slowly, yet gently, put a hand on her shoulder. "I MAY NOT...UNDERSTAND FULLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, BUT...I WISH TO BE HERE FOR YOU."

"B-But why...?"

Pomni looked back up at him. "I-I'm scared. I'm scared that y-you'll think I'm insane for all of this..."

"NOW, WHY WOULD I THINK THAT, MY DEAR?"

...

"...I don't know. I d-don't know, I-I just don't..."

She looked back away from him. "I-I'm sorry...I must've been a b-bother by talking about th-this...I'm s-sorry..."

...

As it fell back into silence, the ringmaster carefully pulled her into an embrace.

"...PLEASE, DON'T APOLOGIZE, MY DEAR. YOU HAVE NOT BURDENED ME. YOU...YOU NEVER WILL." He reassured, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that began to form in her eyes. "NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL ALWAYS TRY TO BE HERE FOR YOU."

It was a strange, electric warmth, one that was unnatural...yet comforting. She couldn't help but grow drowsy as she sunk into it.

"...Thank you, Caine."

A hand was placed on Pomni's head as she drifted back to sleep.

"OF COURSE, MY DEAR."

[oathofpromises]

Starter call for: @lionfated​

𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖎𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝕾𝖔𝖗𝖆 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖋𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉? 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞 𝖉𝖆𝖞 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖋𝖊𝖑𝖙 𝖆 𝖕𝖎𝖊𝖈𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖗 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 𝖗𝖎𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖉 𝖆𝖜𝖆𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒. The brunet had always done everything to help so many, and this was how the world repaid him. With a familiar ache in her chest, she remembered the moment they all realized something had happened. It happened in an instant, the agony that coursed through their hearts. The feeling of something slipping away, and with one look on Leon’s face, Rinoa just knew something had happened to the boy he had seemingly taken under his wing. 

It was even more proof of how much the boy reminded her so much of Leon, her knight. The person she would sacrifice everything to keep safe. Not that she wanted to make him see anything like that ever again. A soft smile formed across her face, recalling how it was almost like Leon adopted Sora. He did everything right, but still blamed himself for what had happened after the final battle with Xehanort. Typical Leon. In the end, no matter how often she tried to convince him it wasn’t, the other kept saying how it was his weight to carry. The man could be so stubborn sometimes, but she knew it was all because he possessed a good heart. Even if he tried so hard to hide that fact. 

All of them were trying so hard to find the boy, yet there was nothing within the span of a year. Things were starting to look down when one day they discovered the answer, or the Fairy Godmother arrived telling them that Riku, Kairi and a star in the final world were key to saving Sora. It was the first time, in months, she had seen Leon actually smile. At least around the others, he did seem happier when the two of them were together, but she figured it was because the two had known each other for years. He could be himself around Rinoa, without fear of judgement.  

Yuffie eventually convinced the two to take a day to rest, it was clear neither Leon or Rinoa had gotten much sleep. Even more evident, the scar from the battle against Edea years ago still caused Leon a lot of pain. 

“Leon, please sit.” Her voice was gentle, but stern as she reached down and had the other remove his jacket. Taking a moment, she leaned to give his forehead a kiss before slowly removing his shirt. Immediately, her eyes lingered on the jagged scar. Slender fingers reached up, as a green aura surround the woman’s hand. Placing it against the others' heart, trying to soothe any pain he might be feeling. 

“You maybe able to hide this from the others..but I can tell with one glance in those eyes of yours” she muttered, as the memory from years ago flashed through her mind. Time seemed to slow as Edea fired a huge ice shared. There was no time for Rinoa to react as her eyes widened seeing the projectile stab through Squall’s chest. 

This is my fault..

“Don’t Move.” She wasn’t sure if that sounded more like a command or suggestion but hopefully Leon wouldn’t mind her trying to tend to the wound. At least the best she could since it would never fully heal.  Lips pressed against his chest, lingering against the scar, as the young woman allowed herself to sit between his legs. Fingers reached up to rest in the slightly spiky locks, the years had truly allowed Leon to grow his hair out more. Recently he did cut it slightly, but it still remained the same she had always known. 

Allowing herself to trail up the scar, pressing soft pecks wherever her lips landed against the scarred tissue. It was rough, but she didn’t mind at all. After all, this was something she needed to do. Almost like she was trying to convey that she would always love him no matter what wound he sustained. There was no way anything was going to make her turn away and leave now. The two of them had been through so much together, and that kind of bond wasn’t anything the darkness could take away. 

“How bad does it hurt? I can try using some more magic if that will help..” she whispered, allowing her hands to play with his hair slightly. It was hard to focus when so much time had passed that they were apart from each other. It made Rinoa think of Kairi, how similar their lives were. Two girls wanting nothing more than to have normal lives, and yet being princesses of hearts didn’t allow them to do that. Fate really seemed out of their control so often. 

Leaning back down, she rested her head against Leon’s heart, taking a moment to listen to the steady heartbeat. It was a like a melody playing on loop inside her mind. The familiar warmth..it was her home. He was her sanctuary.

[somnambulants]

i love your writing!! could you maybe do something with exes to lovers with nat?

word count: 3.9K notes: thanks for the request! i’m glad you like my writing! i also may...have started thinking about writing a second part because im super attached to this fic. let me know if thats something you guys would be interested in!

“Barton, you’re such a –“

Your world stops turning at the sound of that voice, everything else becoming static. It doesn’t matter that you’re standing in a room full of people that you’re supposed to be impressing.

It’s been over ten years since you’d last heard that voice.

Vaguely, you know that Captain America is speaking to you but the only thing you can pay attention to is her.

You turn slowly, and the second you lay eyes on her you know for sure.

It’s definitely her.

You see it the second she spots you too.

In all the time you’d known her, she’d always been so much more proficient at hiding things than you but you still see the way her eyes widen as she takes you in and the way her face shifts into something that resembles shock before she manages to mask it.

“Nat!”

You startle a little, having now somehow completely forgotten that Captain America was next to you and that you were in the middle of a tour of your new workplace the second you’d landed eyes on her.

Oh god.Your new workplace.

Your new workplace that was also clearly her workplace.

As she approaches, you futilely look for every possible way you can escape. “This is Y/N. Fury’s informant while Agent Emery is on reconnaissance. Y/N this is Natasha Romanoff.”

Natasha? Romanoff? Absurdly, you have the sudden urge to laugh.

She really couldn’t have come up with a better name after fleeing the country all those years ago? It’s a surprise to you that you hadn’t heard about her sooner with that alias.

Pushing that thought away and hoping that your face shows the professionalism you’re trying to convey, you straighten your spine and clear your throat. “Nice to meet you.”

Captain America’s eyes flick between the both of you. Maybe you’re not doing as good a job as you’d thought.

Natalia-Natasha takes the hand you extend to her and shakes it. “Likewise,” she says, and you hate the way your body still reacts to her voice all these years later; hate the way her touch still makes you feel.

Even more so, you hate that you don’t know what it is you’re feeling more of as you look into her eyes: fury or heartbreak.

She makes a flimsy –well flimsy to you – excuse and leaves the conversation after that. You watch her walk away, clenching the hand she’d touched into a fist as you resist the urge to put it through the wall next to you.

Somehow you think you’d have a hard time explaining it to the man still standing next to you, who is now watching you with a thoughtfully puzzled but not suspicious expression.

Not yet, anyway.

--

Your dreams that night are fitful and full of her. The first time you’d met, you’d been nothing more than children.

There are no children in red room though. Only fighters and a fighter, she definitely was.

You? Not so much. You’d never been designed to last more than a day in that place and you wouldn’t have, if not for her.

Natalia throws you back against the mat, again and then again and again. Each time you stand up with more difficulty until eventually, she throws you down so hard your vision blurs for a second.

You never had a chance against her, something you knew before you even stepped foot into the room and you know they must have known that too when they set you up against the most experienced fighter here.

It’s abundantly clear you’ve been set up to fail.

The next time she hits you, your legs give out beneath you and you can’t bring yourself to get up this time, even though you know what’s going to happen to you if you don’t.

You know how this works.

Bracing yourself for impact, you close your eyes and wait. It’s pathetic. You know.

The final blow never comes. When you finally crack open an eye, you find Natalia, arms crossed, just gazing down at you.

It might have been your imagination but her eyes don’t seem quite as hard as they had been before.

She extends a hand after a second of her just watching you and you watching her. A little part of you is convinced it’s a trick; that the second you take her hand, you’re going to fail whatever test this is.

Still, against your better judgement you take her hand and, rather than the macabre images playing out in your mind, instead she actually helps you stand, surprisingly gentle as she does so.

She gives you a second to reorient yourself and then her whole demeanour changes, turning cold and stiff as she crouches down back into a fighting position.

“Try again.”

Just as abruptly, you’re thrown into another and another. Quick flashes of the past that still haunt you.

Natalia taking you on your first mission.

Natalia holding your hand as you cried over the body of the first man you’d killed.

Natalia lying beside you on your mattress, running her hands through your hair gently when your nightmares became so bad you’d go days without sleeping.

Years and years of training. Years of bruises and broken bones. Mission after mission. Somehow, it’s all maybe not-quite worth it but it almost is – almost – because of her.

When you kiss her for the first time, you think that might be the first time either of you has had any control over what you do with your bodies. 

You can't remember a time where you'd had something you'd ever wanted and you wanted her so badly.

You can’t get enough of it. Or her.

And then, one day, you wake up and she’s just... gone. 

--

The next morning, feeling irritable and exhausted from your disturbed sleep, you walk into the avengers training room and find the one person you’d been hoping wouldn’t be there.

Of course, your mind spitefully whispers because of course it wasn’t enough for the universe to thrust her back into your life but it had to throw her in your face too.

When you enter, she has her back to you but you know she knows you’re there by the way her back stiffens slightly.

You watch as she stands up straighter at the words you throw at her back, unable to help yourself: “What is this? Babysitting duty? I think we’re passed that, aren’t we?”

She turns to you. “I usually come here early,” is all she says. She doesn’t respond to the bite in your voice.

You make a non-committal sound and then just decide to ignore her, stomping past her to make your way to the far corner of the room. You work by yourself in peace for about ten minutes before you hear the sound of footsteps and all of a sudden she’s in front of you.

“I need a partner,” she says. 

You have the urge to laugh in her face, before it strikes you how cathartic it would be to punch her right now, no matter how childish it might be, so you stand, letting the weight you’d been holding drop back to the floor with a loud thud, and follow her across the room.

You both crouch down in anticipation and you take a second to really look at her.

Her expression is unreadable. The pang you feel when you realise that surprises you.

There had been a time when you’d known her like the back of your hand and now she's nothing more than a stranger standing in front of you.

It hurts a lot more than you’d thought it would.

--

This continues for weeks. You don’t know why you let it happen but you do. You get up early; you go to the gym; you spar with her and then you fulfil the duties you’d been hired to do.

It’s almost easy to slip back into that headspace of your whole life revolving around her. Because it does. All you do is think about her when you’re not around her.

Over those weeks, you still barely speak a word to her because at least if you don’t speak, you have some kind of power.

To your surprise, she lets you ignore her, lets you pretend you don’t hear her whenever she speaks and you resent her a little more for that. You’d rather she hated you as much as you want to hate her.

It would make it all so much easier.

--

Eventually, though, you break.

You’re not strong enough to ignore your desire to know everything; to know how she’d ended up here. And why she’d clearly cared enough to stick around and try and save the entire world when you, a single person, hadn’t even been worth enough for her to stay.

“Why,” you pant, mid spar one morning. She’s kicking your ass, as usual. “Why here? Why the avengers?”

You’d sworn to yourself you’d never ask her this question but the yearning to know has been burning inside you since you’d walked into this building over a month ago now.

Equally as breathless, Natasha drops the careful façade she’d had up and looks at you with those eyes; the ones that could have made you do anything at one point in time. You’re not convinced they still couldn’t. “I wanted to do better… be better than what we were…. Isn’t that why you’re here, too?”

That answer hurts you more than any of the hits she’s landed on you this morning. And there’s been a lot. She’s still the superior fighter, even if she had left so long before you.

God, those words hurt to hear. Especially to have you lumped in with the clearly bad part of her life, whether it was her intention or not.

Maybe that’s why you say what you say next. Maybe there’s a little part of you wishes this whole situation would hurt her as much as it hurts you.

“How… uncharacteristic of you,” you ignore the last part of her sentence because honestly: you don’t know why you’re here. You feel like you’ve been lost and drifting your whole life and the only thing that had ever made sense to you was her.

You know your bitterness has bled into your voice with your words but you don’t make any effort to mask it. And if you can hear it, she definitely can too.

In the blink of an eye, she stops sparring with you, straightening up quicker than even you can catch. You let out a breathless huff of air as she grabs the front of your shirt pulling it so you’re forced forward until you’re almost nose to nose with her.

You hate that for a split second, before you can control yourself, you lean in slightly. As much as your mind can’t stand her, your body has no such feelings and it still wants her. You know you have no hope of hiding it from her so you don’t even bother.

“You don’t know me,” she says. The words come out of her mouth fiercely but the look in her eyes is soft, beseeching, like she wants you to hear her. “I'm not that person anymore.”

Like it matters.

It’s like you’re suspended in time for a second, and all you can think of as you look into her eyes is of the woman you knew.

You hate that you still miss her.

There’s a flicker of something in her eyes that you want to believe mirrors the torrent of emotions currently taking over you – the sadness, the anger, the grief – but you know better than to have hope when it comes to her.

You know all too well how it ends. And you’ve had enough of false hope.

Typically, in a fight, you know Natasha would come out on top – has every time -- but she’s never had your anger directed at her the way it is now and she isn’t expecting the way you’re practically vibrating with it as you shove her away, so hard that she stumbles backwards, only just managing to stay on her feet.

“Clearly,” you spit at her as you straighten up, and start walking towards the exit.

You know she’s still just standing there in the same spot. You can feel her eyes on you.“Yeah, run away,” she mutters under her breath.

It’s the first time she’s shown you the attitude you’d been giving her for weeks and her reaction is justified, you can admit it, but you don’t care.

You spin around, fury overtaking you as you advance on her until you’re pinning her against the wall behind her. “Sorry,” you hiss, glaring into her eyes. “I forgot you’re the only one who can do that.”

“That was different.”

You laugh. It’s not a nice one. It sounds like an injured animal trying to claw it’s way out of your throat. 

“Why? Because it was you doing it? Excuse me for not being —“

All of a sudden, she’s kissing you. Or you’re kissing her.

Either way, you’re kissing and you don’t know how exactly it happened but you know that you can’t get enough of her; can’t get her close enough even though there’s no longer even an inch of space between you.

She flips your positions, tugging you closer, and you’re abruptly bathed in cool air as she rips your shirt off you, shoving you against the wall.

Your heart picks up rapidly as she kneels in front of you, easing the rest of your clothes off in one fluid moment.

“I hate you. So much,” you tell her as you step out of your pants and it’s not convincing even to you. Still, you repeat it again and again as she kisses down your body – so tenderly and gently that your voice starts to wobble.

You hate it. You hate her.

She looks up at you from in between your legs, now on her knees. It’s such a vulnerable position that you find you can’t look at her and you have to close your eyes. Natasha digs her nails into your thighs as she forces them apart.

“Look at me,” she demands. Her grip tightens until you obey; you know you’re going have crescent shaped bruises tomorrow. Her gaze is soft and tender and just all consuming. You know there’s no coming back from it. You’d never had a chance, even back when you didn’t mind not having one. “Don’t look away.”

You don’t, not even when she finally, finally, touches you and your head falls back against the wall. 

You hold her gaze the entire time knowing how incredibly stupid this is and not caring at all about how much you’ll regret it later when you’re thinking straight.

--

And regret it, you do.

You stop working out early. You walk the other way in the halls if you see her. You know people are catching on that something is going on between the both of you; have caught multiple avengers giving you quizzical looks whenever you’re in the same room and it makes you feel even worse than before.

You channel all that regret into something more meaningful and commit to doing a damn good job at what you were actually here for. And you do. You can admit you do a fantastic job.

Every time you hand a report in or come back from a mission, you swear see a glimmer of approval in Fury’s eyes. Something you’d heard was notoriously hard to come by.

You must have done something really shitty in a past life though because after weeks of throwing yourself into your temporary duties, you walk into your temporarily office and are immediately flagged down by Fury, who debriefs you on the details of a mission he’s sending you on.

You’re thrilled for about three seconds until you see the name of the person you’re going with.

Agent Natasha Romanoff.

Fury is looking at you with a scrutinising expression when you look up from the file. Every time he looks at you it’s like he can see inside your soul. “Is that a problem?”

You grit your teeth and force yourself to smile. “Of course not, sir.”

--

It is a problem. A big problem, in fact.

You don’t speak to her on the flight there. Even though it’s only the two of you confined in the aircraft. You don’t even so much let yourself look at her. You can feel her looking at you multiple times, though, even though she’s piloting and should only be looking at the course in front of you.

There are no words exchanged between you all day beyond the times you absolutely have to speak. 

At least not until you reach the tiny hotel room you’d been given.

The second the door closes behind you both, she turns to you and opens her mouth and maybe it’s cowardly but you cut her off before she even start speaking.

“I’m going to have a shower,” you say and flee the room with your entire carry-on, worried that if you pause to sift through your things, she’ll keep talking.

Still in the same spot, the look on Natasha’s face when you emerge from the bathroom is full of clear exhaustion. You hate the way it makes you feel. Empty. Sad. It’s exhausting for you trying to convince yourself you hate her.

“I’m sorry I left,” she says and you freeze. “I wanted to come back. Find you. I just didn’t know - i didn’t know if you even wanted me to.”

You’ve wanted to hear those words for so long. Now you have you don’t know what to do. “Why did you leave?”

She hesitates. The look in her eyes tells you you’re not going to get a full answer. That as open as she’s trying to be, you still don’t get to know why she abandoned you. “It’s a long story.”

The evasion stings. “An apology means nothing if you won’t tell me why.”

It’s an unfair thing to say. You know that but you don’t really feel like being fair right now.

You chance a look up when she doesn’t respond and find her looking down at the floor. It makes you wonder what — or who — she must still be protecting by not telling you. 

It becomes apparent that she’s not going to say anything else after the silence between you drags on long enough that the tension in the air becomes almost unbearable.

You don’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing the tears in your eyes so you flick the light off and turn the lamp on your shared nightstand off, throwing the both of you into immediate darkness. It’s definitely too early to be sleeping but you don’t care.

Eventually, after laying there rigidly for what feels like hours and listening to the sounds of Natasha tossing and turning in the other bed, you finally fall asleep and are immediately thrown into dream after dream that quickly turn into fitful nightmares.

Nightmares that may be more aptly called memories. After one particularly bad one that thrusts you back into consciousness, you bolt upwards, still half asleep. 

You only narrowly manage to avoid bumping straight into Natasha, who’s hovering above you, because of her hand on your shoulder holding you in place.

You flinch away from her instinctively and she backs up to give you a little space.

The only sound in the room is your heavy and desperate gasping for air. Natasha, now perched on the very edge of the bed, bites her lip, looking at you as if she knows exactly what you’d been dreaming about.

She probably does. It doesn’t take a genius to guess.

“Are you –"

“I’m fine,” you say flatly. You stare up at the ceiling, absently counting the tiles as you try to slow your breathing.

You’re hyperventilating, you know it, you just can’t get yourself to stop. You’re also sweating, it’s disgusting. You can feel how all of your clothes are stuck to you. Your hair flattened to your neck.

If you hadn’t been dealing with this for so long, you’re pretty sure that you’d think you were having a heart attack instead of a panic attack.

But you have. Been dealing with it. It’s just something you’ve come to expect now. You just never thought she’d be here to witness it.

All of a sudden, as you’re still trying to calm your breathing, the bed dips below you.

Your eyes fly open in shock to find Natasha sliding onto the mattress beside you, still on top of the covers.

Gingerly, she rests her head on the pillow next to your head and fixes her gaze on the ceiling.

It’s slight but her hand brushes against your own a few minutes later.

You suck in a breath between your teeth, but despite yourself, you let her move closer, until she’s so close you’re almost touching, and you can hear her quiet breathing.

Against your better judgement, you let your eyes slip closed again. Seeming to understand you’re not going to push her away, Natasha shifts closer, until you’re both shoulder to shoulder, the way she used to lay next to you when you had bad dreams when you were kids.

She grabs your hand, and slowly, hesitantly, she moves it to her chest where you can feel her heart thrumming rapidly under your fingertips. Surprisingly, it still works; you breathe in and out, in out in out, in time with her heartbeat.

You must at some point fall asleep because all of a sudden you can hear birds chirping outside the window and the sounds of people outside in the street.

When you open your eyes, you expect to find the spot next to you empty and the covers unruffled, as if she’d never been there at all but to your shock she’s still there beside you, awake and on top of the covers.

The circles under her eyes make you think she must not have slept at all.

You slide out of the bed and head towards the bathroom without saying a word, where you turn the shower on and just sit under the spray for what must be at least an hour, letting the water run over you and trying not to think.

This time when you return, she’s gone.

--

The rest of the mission goes smoothly. If nothing else, you both work well together as a team. You can still read her movements like a book, and she knows to anticipate what you’re doing before you even know yourself.

The days go fine. The nights not so much. You don’t speak about it but every night you’re woken up by the same dreams and every night you wake up to find her kneeling beside you.

If you were stronger willed, you would’ve shoved her away the first time, but you can’t bring yourself to. Maybe it’s a little selfish but you can’t find it in yourself to care. 

The last night of the mission is when you finally break, though. Something shifts in the air when you wake yourself up gasping and meet her eyes. The same eyes that had been blank and lifeless in your dream. 

You know she feels the shift as well by the way she’s looking at you, cautiously hopeful.

You don’t say anything though and neither does she. You just lay there, side by side, and watch each other carefully for what could be seconds, or it could be hours.

Her eyes are begging wordlessly: Truce?

Despite yourself, as you gaze back at her, you find yourself giving in. For tonight at least.

Truce.

[leverage-commentary]

Leverage Season 3, Episode 4, The Scheherezade Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

John: From left to right on your radio dial this is John Rogers, executive producer.

Aldis: This is DJ Chocolate Skittles, also known as Aldis Hodge.

Chris: And this is Chris Downey, executive producer and writer of this episode, The Scheherazade Job.

John: Aldis has very kindly decided to join us for this commentary since he was-

Aldis: Hello!

John: He did a lot of work on this episode. This one rode- 

Chris: Oh yeah

John: This was one of those ones where you're just like, ‘This actor's gonna be working his ass off for this.’

Aldis: Oh joy.

John: Well Chris, why don't you tell us the origin of this episode?

Chris: Ah well the origin came from a- my friend here to the left, Aldis, back in season one we were just talking about you know things we like to do in our spare time and Aldis mentioned that he loved the violin, he’d been studying it, it was the closest thing to the human voice for an instrument.

Aldis: Yes.

Chris: And coincidentally my wife is a violinist and at the time I said to you, ‘I'm gonna find a way in an episode of Leverage to have you play the violin’ and what did you say to me?

Aldis: I think I said, ‘Do it.’

[Laughter]

Chris: And then you laughed at me.

Aldis: Yeah, we were shooting what was that, the season finale?

Chris: Might've been the season finale

Aldis: That was- yeah, Pasadena?

John: Yup

Aldis: Yeah, yeah, I remember that conversation.

Chris: And this is Martha Boles, terrific actress from Los Angeles.

John: This is interesting actually, we had a- when we were setting up the bad guy here, we had an interesting conversation about- and this is one of those things you talk about in television. Should the reporter be white or not?

Chris: Yeah.

John: Yeah. We were looking at casting and we were like, no it should be a black reporter working with that. And then we got some, you know, feedback that's like, well now it's a white crew of criminals, apparently missing Aldis’s presence, helping out a black reporter. 

Aldis: Don’t worry, they miss me all the time.

John: It's one of those- it’s tricky, it's one of those things where one of the reasons we kinda were leery of doing international crimes, first season and second season. And you kinda- because it's always a minefield, it just is. And now in third season, everyone’s comfortable and everyone knows the show well enough that you can kinda try to swing outside the box. I think Chris did a great job taking this outside the box for the first time on the show.

Chris: Yeah it was- it was interesting cause most- I think we talked about this, most episodes start with the bad guy and we kinda work our way from there. We kinda talk about ‘what's the bad guy, what does he want, what is his weaknesses’. And this is one of those episodes that started with a big idea late in the episode which was the orchestra heist, and we kinda worked from there to kind of try and figure out whose our bad guy? And that's- we decided- we hadn't done an African kleptocrat, we wanted to do that for a long time, and this seemed like a good opportunity to do that.

John: Now also when doing a straight heist, because we were coming at it as a straight heist, we wanted a small highly portable object. The cleaner the object, the cleaner the goal of the heist, the more you can work around the elegance of the heist itself. And when you're staring with an elegant heist, which is the music heist, you have to do something very clean, which was diamonds. And so it all sort of fed into this one storyline.

Chris: Yes, yes.

Aldis: Didn't you want to play the organ? At first I mean that's plain and portable and-

[Laughter]

John: Yes, originally it was a giant Wurlitzer organ. 

Aldis: Yeah, just a whole thing.

John: This was a ton of fun, this was a great little fight scene. 

Chris: Yeah.

Aldis: Kane had too much fun shooting this.

Chris: He had a lot of fun here. And these gentlemen are Garfield Wedderburn and- yeah, Garfield Wedderburn is the lead goon here; his name is goon.

Aldis: Goon.

[Laughter]

Chris: And there he is doing this- some kind of scary tai chi?

Aldis: That was actually a joke and it just made it on the reel, it was like-

John: You know what? We saw it in the dailies, we were gonna cut out of it but it was like- but the idea he would just scare the shit out of those guys to get them to go. ‘Can your dog do that?’ That was great.

Chris: ‘Can your dog do that?’

John: It is nice every now and then to remind people exactly why everyone on the team is there.

Chris: By the way, I love that you named the dog Megabyte. 

Aldis: Megabyte, yeah, yes.

John: That was you, that’s right. 

Chris: That was all you.

Aldis: If anybody can get that, Megabyte, yes. Now if one of those days we just see the dog, which will probably be a poofy little yorkie or something like that.

John: Dogs are too expensive; we can't afford them.

Chris: We can't afford them.

Aldis: We can't afford dogs.

Chris: We'll do a virtual dog.

Aldis: A virtual dog, yes.

John: That's sad.

Aldis: The little mechanical one with the batteries? Yeah.

Chris: Sure.

John: Now continuing the original conversation, so we knew we were working backwards towards an African kleptocrat, but how do you find a guy who’s like based in the states, so we’re not flying overseas, we’re not trying to fake a city you can't fake on our budget. And so that led us to the research and- did we find someone who was real, Chris?

Chris: Well, there's no similarities to persons living or dead. But, um-

John: We’d like to say for both legal reasons, and so we don't get shot in the face.

Chris: Yes, please.

John: Oh my god, this guy is real and he's horrible!

Chris: He's real, he's horrible. He's not a classical music fan, that was something we brought to it, to facilitate the story. But he is a very wealthy relative of an African kleptocrat who has a house here in the United States and in Paris and has a Bugatti and all the things you would imagine a kleptocrat would.

John: All the way down, actually, to the fact that the reason he does not fall under the- is not criminalized under some of the kleptocrat laws we have here in the States, with the same plot point we have in the show, which is he's been a friend in the war on terror.

Chris: Yes, yes that’s all true.

John: Which looks like he pretty much turns in political opponents.

Chris: Wow, we certainly don't want to say that he does that, but-

John: But oh come on.

Chris: And here we have-

John: Your name’s on the show, they're gonna kill you. I'm not too worried. 

[Laughter]

John: And here's Elisabetta Canalis, the loveliest Elisabetta Canalis.

Aldis: Aldis Hodge was never here, was never here. This actually is the second time we've seen her in the entire arc of this third season. So now the audience is getting another taste of exactly who she is, because she just left us off with blackmail, and now, you know, we're digging into her story. Of course at the end of the show, we get to see that she's not as fair game as she comes up to be.

Chris: Yeah, and we wanted to make her kind of you know sexy and mysterious, and I like this scene cause-

Aldis: Sexy what? Sexy?

Chris: Yeah well she-

John: Well there's no reason we just shoot her legs in every scene.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Exactly, there's no reason to put her in heels and closeups on the face, no! Not at all.

John: This was a nice bit that you came up with: the idea that kind of flirting, sexy, dangerous. And Nate Ford being smart enough to realize it’s a very bad idea.

Chris: I love this, this is one of my favorite flashes.

John: It's one of my favorite zooms, it's a hypothetical zoom, it's something we never usually do.

Chris: I like it because right here she looks so bored,

[Laughter]

Chris: There's something about the insouciance of it, of her.

John: Oh another guy being garotted in front of me.

Chris: Oh stop the tape.

John: It's another Thursday for me.

Chris: And he was- Tim was great at, you know, holding his throat like that.

John: Yeah the- well the sort of implication, again, is again, it’s tricky the team has been playing a lot without ever being taken down themselves. Tim has to carry a lot of the weight acting because he's the one who interacts with Elizabetta the most, to convey the threat she portrays to make sure you take her seriously. And nice diagrams on the glass boards. I always love the glass boards

Aldis: Provided by…?

John: Who drew on that one? I don't think I drew on that one, I wasn't there for that one. 

Aldis: Really?

John: No, that handwriting is too good that's not me. Usually- yeah, usually I spew the bullshit that goes up on the glass.

Chris: Now what's nice- 

Aldis: And it- oh, sorry, go ahead

Chris: Oh I was gonna say it’s a nice opportunity to get a little bit into Eliot's backstory which we, in the early scene in the bar, he alludes to the fact that knows about these- what goes on in these countries, these Chinese- these child soldiers. And you know I think here you can kinda see this whole- this whole particular case is really, you know, affecting him directly.

John: Yeah it's part of the over the course of the arc, kind of peeling back everybodys past this season. And we gave Eliot you know- we really wanted to sort of reset and remind people for the finale that Eliot, you know Eliot killed people. Eliot was not a good guy and is trying to be a better guy.

Aldis: What I had to say was nowhere near as intuitive as that, but the prior scene a lot of- a lot of times you'll see Sophie wearing that dog tag, it’s blank. It's like a name tag, but it's blank, and that's an ode to the fact that she hasn't given Nate her real name. And it kind plays throughout the entire season so for those of you have paid attention-

John: We actually used it, we actually- the audience doesn't know those dog tags are blank because she doesnt show the dog tags. But when she told us she was doing it we wrote- 

Aldis: Did I just give up a secret?

John: No, no, no it’s cool. What happened is: she wears them. And we were like, ‘What are those?’ And she told us dog tags are blank, it's a little private joke. So we wrote it into the show, that's why she gets the blank pendant in episode 13, cause we just thought that was really cool and that's something Gina came up with on her own.

Aldis: It's just gonna be a drinking game every time they spot the dog tags. 

John: Sure, there's already a lot of drinking games.

Aldis: There are.

John: There are a lot on the web, you go on there's a lot of drinking games.

Aldis: Every time we say ‘seriously’, drink! 

[Laughter]

Aldis: Not that we promote that here, no.

Chris: Not at all.

John: No, I don't do all of these with a beer in my hand.

Chris: No no drinking games.

Aldis: What is that you're drinking John, water?

John: It’s- yes, dark Irish water.

Aldis: Yes.

John: This was a nice again- we started splitting people up so we could- the coverage is a little easier. and it helped us remind- Third season we started taking a lot of the prep that was implied in act 0 of seasons 1 and 2 and moving it into act 1 and act 2 of this season. Where you see them doing the prep and putting together the plan on the fly as they get information.

Chris: Right.

John: Which both makes it more dynamic, and helps us with shooting.

Chris: Yeah, I mean this is a very plan-intensive episode, and you want to try and make the planning side interesting visually.

John: Yeah because there's so much pipe to lay in a believable way to get to that great fourth act. I mean you have to make sure the audience is utterly invested by that point.

Chris: I like this little bit with you guys right here.

Aldis: Me and Kane man, when we get together it's always a party.

Chris: But what's great about you guys is it's not always the bickering brothers, where you're yelling at each other that makes me laugh. It's just the little throwaway things of the two of you together.

Aldis: It's the little things that bring the sparkle to your eye, the little things.

[Laughter]

Chris: And they just the way we did this- 

Aldis: This was a funny sequence to shoot.

John: Yeah this was great. This was- what did we name the reporter?

Chris: Guy Hamilton which is an ode to Mel Gibson's character in The Year of Living Dangerously.

[Laughter]

Chris: For all you folks out there keeping score. By the way, I forgot yesterday when we did Gone Fishing Job that you are- your names when you went into the bank and were Brody and Quinn from Jaws.

John: Because you're gonna need a bigger boat.

Chris: This looks great, by the way!

Aldis: I'm pretty sure you need another drink for that.

Chris: Look at that, he's there!

John: I've seen far less convincing stuff on CNN.

[Laughter]

John: I'm fairly sure, yeah

Chris: And there's Giancarlo Esposito fantastic.

John: Friend of Tim, came in and did this for us. Really really great, flew in.

Aldis: His daughters’ actually in the orchestra, they- one plays violin the other plays viola.

John: Oh cool.

Aldis: Yeah, so he had a lot to discuss.

John: I love seeing the evil dude Skype list; I just realized we could see it on there. It’s like ‘Lefou is away. Where is Lefou?’

Chris: Pizza Hut? Why does he have Pizza Hut on Skype?

John: On Skype? That's weird. And who is that lurking behind him?

Chris: Oh lurking behind him is Nnamdi Asomugha who is an all pro cornerback for the Oakland Raiders. Arguably the best cornerback in the NFL.

Aldis: And you have your Raiders ball here, it's perfect.

Chris: And I have my Raiders ball here to prove it.

John: Now how did he wind up on the show?

Chris: Well, you know, like any famous Hollywood story, it started at a hockey game.

[Laughter]

Chris: My- we have a mutual agent, and he invited me to a hockey game and said, ‘This is my friend Nnamdi.’ And although I am a big sports fan, for some reason the best cornerback in the NFL eluded me and I just met him as a guy. And we were chatting and found out he was- he acted and I asked him at the time, his families from Nigeria and I- this was a year ago, and I said, ‘Can you do a good African accent?’ He said, ‘Oh definitely.’ I said, ‘Alright, well if we get a part for, you know a big guy, menacing guy with an African accent I'll call you’. And lo and behold, episode came up and he did a fantastic job.

John: I think his family is from Ethiopia, actually.

Chris: No, I think he’s Nigerian.

John: Nigerian? Oh ok. And here- this is her playing Christie Connelly again.

Chris: Yes, yes.

John: Yes, this is why we started bringing back the- as we realized that they are gonna be roles that the- it also sort of came up as we did our research that con artists tend to settle into certain roles that they've done background on, and also that they've established the credentials to. We mention later actually on another episode that she's like, ‘I got seven years worth of work on this identity’, so she's doing a similar gig, so why not use the same name?

Chris: And let's be honest it's also our nod to James Garner, who was Jimmy Joe Meeker in multiple episodes of the Rockford Files.

John: Yes exactly, also she gets to use her native accent in this.

Chris: Yeah, that’s right!

John: Cause Gina is from New Zealand, not England. Most people- she grew up in England but she was born in New Zealand, and was a child in New Zealand, so she gets to use her kiwi accent here. Very kicky little gold chain going on there.

Chris: And I love this, this is a great kind of subtle sales pitch that she just sells so well.

John: Yeah. And again this is one of those great things in the show, not blowing smoke up our own skirts, but the fun of having great actors is you con, con, con, and then you park it on these little two-person scenes and it's fun, you know, it actually plays.

Chris: And here's- you know I like the idea that we've kind of developed with Hardison’s character that, you know, he's chafing a little bit around the crew, and, kind of, as the youngest member of the crew, kind of like, sees that he’d like to run his own crew someday and kind of expressing that here. I mean how did you approach this Aldis? Was that something that you kinda thought of for the character?

Aldis: I approached it, I stretched, I, uh, did a couple push ups.

John: Well we get a lot of emails from him ‘I should be the lead of the show,’ so it's a similar thing.

[Laughter]

Chris: But I know we had discussions about it not being a typical father/son kind of vibe. Right?

Aldis: Right, right, right. This is- this entire situation was newly presented to me in the script. That's when I found out that I was  like, ‘OK, Hardison wants to step up.’ But I think that- I mean, it's a great premise and he is the youngest, so he has the most to learn because he hasn't figured out all of his bad habits just yet. 

Chris: Right.

Aldis: And so he can sit back, watch his team, watch how they work, watch the mistakes they make, and then ten season later, hint hint, audience, hint hint-

Chris: Ten seasons when you'll be all of 35.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Exactly.

John: Then you'll be ready to lead the crew. 

Aldis: Exactly.

John: Yeah no it's- we really played around with it. It's not father/son it's sort of- it’s really Paper Chase but for crime.

Chris: Yes, yes, very much, I think that's a great way of putting it. And I love, here, too, if I can blow some more smoke up you, that, you know, we play big characters in these cons that are, like, larger than life. I mean, I think, you know, the Ice Man Job character comes to mind-

Aldis: [Mimicking the accent he did] The Ice Man Job.

Chris: When you play a kind of a small reserved guy, all inside, it's such a nice change, and it’s like it adds a vulnerability to these con characters that I think is great.

Aldis: He's very not- he wasn't a meek character, but he's very, very humble.

Chris: Humble that's better.

Aldis: He came from a hard life, he knew how to appreciate what was there, he knows how to prioritize, you know, to put everything else before his own needs. And that's kinda where I felt this character was coming from. He couldn't be too big or else, you know, with all of the skills, his grandeur, he would have done something with that by now; he's a cab driver, so he's gotta be quiet about something.

John: And the- also, this was the first time I think we put- we had talked about the different skills, as you go into every season you talk about like, ‘How do we make sure we focus on the characters? How do we make sure nobody blends in the background?’ And one of the things is reminding everyone- and we did this really in the Jailbreak and especially in this one to set it up, Parker is great at three dimensional heists. Parker rotates objects in three dimensional space. So she's Nate's partner here; he might be able to cook up plans, but she's the one telling him the parameters of those plans with the physical heists. 

Aldis: Right.

John: No one is better than her at physical insertion, and that's one of the things we kinda hammered during this season. 

Aldis: I think our skills- I mean we’re all necessary to one another, but our skills kinda levy a system of checks and balances-

John: Yeah.

Aldis: The way the government should do it. But we can do one thing and take it only so far and then pass it off, then the next team member polishes it up and takes you to the very next level. 

John: What- Chris why don't you talk about how we structured the heist?

Chris: Well you know the- back when we were trying to break the story the initial idea behind it was that there would be two levels of tension in the big act, in the big heist. There would be part of the team breaking in to steal the object, and there would be Hardison on stage sweating out having to play this impossible solo in front of people. And the problem that I was running  into was: why did these two things have to happen at the same time? Why now? Why can't they be breaking in on a Wednesday, you know, when Hardison's not scheduled to play this. And John, you said- thought about it for a minute, and you said, ‘Well obviously it's the only time that they can do the heist is when there’s- when the orchestra is playing because that's when they have to turn off the motion detectors.’

Aldis: Because John has stolen from an orchestra before, when they-

[Laughter]

Aldis: He speaks from personal experience.

Chris: And I took a minute and I said, ‘I could kiss you on the mouth.’

[Laughter]

John: That was one of those ‘what's in the Arclight’ days? I contributed almost nothing else to this episode. I was busy off doing the season opener. We were banging these out before the rest of the staff- and I came up with that bit and I'm like, ‘You're gold, go have fun, I’m out.’ I got that, and then we basically- knowing the motion detectors couldn't be beaten and played us back into the other security measures, and created this impossible vault. And that was also fun, we started for the first time throwing stuff at the team where it's like, ‘yeah there's some stuff you just can't beat,’ you know, that you have to go sideways. 

Aldis: I’d like to note here that I'm wearing every possible shade of gray that there is known to man.

[Laughter]

John: Why is that? Is that an emotional choice? Is that about his ambivalence about his role in the con? Or is that-?

Aldis: I have no idea

John: Always say- you know what? Do the thing I just did with him, start with ‘obviously’ it's a good way- when you wanna throw up an enormous amount of bullshit just start with ‘Obviously.’

Aldis: Obviously!

John: And then just, people buy it.

Aldis: What we wanted to do was confuse the audience.

John: Oh Scheherezade, exactly how'd you choose Scheherezade?

Chris: Well we needed- we needed a piece that was public domain, as a practical matter, because we have budget constraints in this show. And that ended on a violin solo. And it was- I forgot what the other candidates were, but my wife, I have to give her credit at least a little, fantastic violinist, picked Scheherezade and said, ‘You gotta listen to this.’ And I listened to the last 7 minutes because I knew we needed it to kind of roll out in real time over the course of the heist. And the solo just kinda like dropped me, I thought, ‘Oh my god, this is gonna be fantastic.’ And then when I did a little research on Scheherezade’s story, how she was the wife of a- in the story of the Arabian Nights he killed- every night he married a different wife, and killed them the next morning. And then Scheherezade walked in and figured she'd be finished, but every night she told him a story, and the story kept him on- you know, on the edge of his seat, she never told him the ending and finally after 1001 nights he married her. So I said OK, that’s the first grifter in history’. And that just kinda fit in thematically with the whole episode, and that's when we knew we had to use that piece.

John: And our music guy Joe Deluca putting a lovely little sort of spin, sort of- 

Chris: Yeah he had a very nice-

John: -Arabian Nights spin on the score there. Now, you play violin. What did you think when we dropped Scheherezade on your lap?

Aldis: Well I was screaming inside, running for my life.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Jesus I've only been playing just for- not even five years, and when I took the music to my music teacher, she like- lord have mercy, she had a heart attack. She was like- she had been playing professionally for 20 years before she tackled Scheherezade. My other teacher had been playing, also, I believe between 20 and 30 years before she tackled Scheherezade so I had no confidence whatsoever. No, kidding, obviously I was very impressed with the piece. It's a beautiful piece. I love the song and I was actually very open to the challenge. I just wanted to make sure I did it well enough to do the song some justice. Now shooting these scenes being surrounded by actual musicians was awe-inspiring and-

John: Really? You really? Oh.

Aldis: Man, it was terrifying.

Chris: Yeah where did this rank among the scarier things you've done on the show? Where would you put this?

Aldis: This is the top right here.

Chris: This is the top right here.

John: So not running on top of a moving train.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Not at all man.

John: Really? That was fine, but this? This was terrifying.

Aldis: I'm a nut man, I'm a nut. I can do that because-

John: I can tell you as your executive producer with an insurance policy on you, you can do this whenever you want, don't do the train again.

Aldis: I shan't! I shall not.

Chris: And this actor, Michael Winther, fantastic New York stage actor who came in and did an amazing job. It was originally written I think he was Spanish and then I asked Michael-

John: Well you were kinda basing it on Dudamel.

Chris: Exactly it was based on Gustavo Dudamel who was the Venezuelan, kind of, rockstar conductor of the LA Philharmonic.

Aldis: Oh yeah.

Chris: Yeah, and Michael said that he could do German and I thought well there's nothing more intimidating than someone talking to you with a German accent.

Aldis: German accent, yeah.

John: Really?

Chris: And he was just great.

John: Even if it's like ‘I would like some hugs now,’ still it's creepy, it's not- yeah.

[Laughter]

John: Apologies, and now the angry letters from people with a German accent will be coming in.

Aldis: Exactly, you'll be getting a letter from the government.

John: A nice stall, you can't get it too far. And, you know, this again is kinda focusing on how everyone does things. Parker needs paper. Parker needs plans. Parker needs drawings. This is how she thinks. She was trained by an old school thief, and it's cool cause we're kinda hinting at the thing you're gonna find out in episode 5, like how she was trained, you know, trained by an old school thief, she thinks like an old school thief.

Aldis: Yeah

John: And then we do the fun- and this is, when you're constructing something based on a high concept, the fun of it was we have an impossible heist, stuff rolls back from that. Okay if it's impossible, that means we have to see the planning, we have to see the surveillance, we have to see the surveillance to establish to the audience the rules of the heist. 

Chris: Right.

John: Cause you had already said, and I will say the first thing you said to me was ‘I wanna do a heist where there's no words.’

Chris: Yes.

John: And I said ‘You're out of your mind and it's unshootable’. I actually utterly dismissed you, and then you came back like, ‘We do it this way.’ And I was like, ‘Alright, that’s slightly less insane.’ But that required the rest of the episode to do an enormous amount of work.

Chris: Yeah, you need to know- once you got to the heist, you need to know exactly what people were doing and why, without any dialogue. And so- and that kinda required that the heist needed to be fairly simple.

John: Yes.

Chris: So, you know, that kinda was a little bit liberating for me, cause once I realized, OK, I drew this corridor, you know, we had to get past this keypad, and then there was a room, we had to blow a hole in the floor, it was like from a to b to c, as long as I made it fairly simple and easy to remember in the planning stages, we could carry it out. 

John: And this is also one of the great things about physical production. You actually flew up and scouted this, right? 

Chris: Yeah, we did.

John: You adjusted the heist based around the physical location.

Chris: Yeah well, we built this hallway here-

John: Is that a build? I thought it was a-

Chris: This is the hardest working hallway in show business.

John: I thought it was the hallway on the other side of the concert hall?

Chris: No, no.

Aldis: No, me and Chrisitan built it ourselves.

John: Oh that's where Elizabetta was. That's right, there you go. 

Chris: That’s right.

John: Yeah, now we're establishing the rules, and a little hint there that Nnamdi is not your ordinary thug. 

Chris: Yeah.

Aldis: Yes.

John: Yeah, just that little wince. 

Chris: And here, again, you know, it was we had plans in front of Tim that he could actually trace the line and that's exactly where you were going. Those are the plans of the set. 

John: Those are the plans for the set?

Chris: Yeah. 

Aldis: Yeah!

John: That’s great!

Chris: I mean that showed him, he could draw- I showed him here's where you draw the hole, that’s where it’s gonna be.

John: Yeah and big props to Bekka Melino and everybody in production design this year. That vault looked gorgeous. 

Chris: Yeah, it did.

John: Everything looked gorgeous, you know, set dec.

Chris: I have to give her credit for something else in that too. In the original script, the locker numbers in the vault were numbered; they were just numbered. And she called me up and said, ‘What do you think if we made like some kind of symbol or something for them, and maybe like musical terms?’ And I said, ‘That's fantastic.’ And it kinda helped build the character of Moto as someone who is just, you know, obsessed with music.

Aldis: Appreciates music.

John: Yeah. 

Chris: And here's where-

Aldis: This is a tough thing, a tough deal for me. Not me personally, but for Hardison because of the fact that- I mean, this is a big deal trying to walk away from a mission with such reasonable cause. 

Chris: Right.

Aldis: Only because of the fact that he's afraid, it's not because his life is endangered, it's simply because he's afraid. 

Chris: Did you feel like that was- I mean, but performing without being prepared is like the, sort of, go to nightmare that people have, right?

John: Only if you were pantless could this be worse.

Aldis: Exactly, it's also the fact that if he performs poorly he could mess up the entire heist.

Chris: Yes

Aldis: But he was more afraid of himself performing badly then messing up the heist. And-

John: It's an interesting look into the character, because he's a perfectionist and he tends to- he’s tended to take the path he has in life because he's been able to be good at it.

Aldis: Yes.

Chris: Right.

John: You know, it's always interesting once you're past school and once you're an adult when you try to do things, you try to learn a new skill once you're out of your teens, and you realize ‘Oh, this is very hard.‘

Aldis: Yeah it's like learning violin.

John: Yeah exactly.

Aldis: As an adult, as I am doing now.

John: Really hard. But no, you just couldn't drop Scheherezade on you.

Chris: Here's a great-

John: This is a great shot actually, because we actually never shot this. This was footage of them actually getting into place.

Chris: Yes.

John: From the dailies that we had when we rolled the camera on. And that we wound up assembling together into a shot and then digitally placing the conductor into the middle of it.

Chris: Oh yeah, when we get to the later shot of the conductor there, that was- that’s totally digital. This the- orchestra is Marshall Tuttle is the conductor of the orchestra, it’s a local Portland community college orchestra. And they, you know, I have to give a lot of props to them because they got the music and they had to mock play the piece, but that meant they had to prepare for it, they had to know. 

Aldis: Yeah I actually learned from them that day the rest of the piece. I mean all I knew up to that point was the solo. Until they said- and I knew bits and pieces of the other music until they said, ‘Hey, so we actually wanna shoot you playing the, you know, the bit before stuff.’ I’m like, ‘Right now, guys?’ 

John: Oh yes, a surprise by the way.

Aldis: Surprise! 

John: This quick thing, they're gonna pop the camera on you there as you do this thing you just learned how to do.

Aldis: So I was just watching my fellow musicians around me as we shot, I was just watching their fingers and going off of them but hopefully you can’t tell.

John: That's a great little shake, that head shake like, ‘No, let's not get too heavily invested’.

Aldis: That was a real head shake that was ‘I do not wanna shoot this scene right now.’

[Laughter]

John: Could we please stop?

Aldis: None of the trepidation in this is faked, it’s real fear people. Real fear. 

[Laughter]

Aldis: I dreaded this more than anything.

Chris: So there was less acting in this than typical episodes because you actually had fear.

Aldis: The fear yes, no acting at all, man, it was not hard to be afraid. At all. Whatsoever.

John: And here's Elizabetta, and it was interesting- I will be totally honest we knew we needed stuff for the finale-

Chris: Yeah.

John: And no idea what we needed it to be yet.

Chris: Right and right. And also to a certain degree, you know, when you have a MacGuffin, you know an item I want you to get, and you struggle as to what it could be, and we did struggle, we argued what is- what's in the envelope? And ultimately it's pretty cool when you don't know what it is.

John: Yeah it's point blank. It’s- yeah.

Chris: And you know we don't want to give anything away, but it did help us in the finale.

John: Yeah, well they've seen it by now, in theory. 

Chris: Oh, okay.

John: Usually they watch all the way through and then do the commentaries.

Chris: That’s fine then. So that's fine, I'm not a spoiler.

Aldis: So what was in the envelope, fellows?

John: In the envelope is the evidence that the Italian needs because she's part of the shadowy international intelligence organization that launders money through Moto’s blood diamond accounts.

Chris: Yes.

John: And yeah that's actually- if you do a lot of research in money laundering, we did a lot of money laundering this year. 

Aldis: Yes we did.

John: You find out that a lot of sort of black ops stuff, and a lot of the governments- there's a reason it's still around. You know governments find it useful, you know, and certain parts of governments find money laundering, international money laundering useful.

Chris: And here we go now we start- we start the clock and the dialogue is about to end pretty quickly.

John: Yeah I think we did like two touches, two clarifying things once we test screened it.

Chris: Yeah.

Aldis: We did an entire fourth act with just pure music.

Chris: Yeah, this is it here, we go.

John: Yeah this is it. Nnamdi did a great job in this, by the way, I want to say, because he's acting without dialogue and that's hard, you know, for a young actor. 

Aldis: It’s like stare at this paper bag and make it interesting.

John: Yeah, exactly.

Chris: And I have to give Brian Gonosey here, our editor, a lot of credit here, too, because this was like editing a music video, because this was- we had to kinda time this stuff to the music, and this was, you know, this- in listening to the piece, you know, in my mind I had punching in numbers for this part, cause I could hear it in my head, and-

Aldis: Now this-

Chris: And now- oh.

Aldis: No, I’m sorry, go ahead.

Chris: Well this is just when you have an all pro quarterback from the NFL on your show, and you have Christian Kane who is a gigantic football fan, you're gonna have him knock him down in full run.

Aldis: Now Christian really took that hit.

Chris: He sure did folks.

John: He hit that wall hard, baby!

Aldis: This man is paid to hit people.

[Laughter]

John: Beth took this hit too.

Aldis: Yeah.

Chris: She did take that hit.

Aldis: She took it like a trooper.

John: Wait where'd- Chris played football for a while, what was he, tailback? What was Chris?

Chris: Well I know, back in high school, yeah.

Aldis: He played in it, and he wrestled, too. Nnamdi is a big guy.

John: Nnamdi is a big guy.

Aldis: He's like 6’ 4” something, 6’ 6”?

Chris: And he wanted to do all his own stunts and we were like, ‘Please, we do not want Al Davis on our ass.’

[Laughter]

John: ‘I'm sorry, did you hurt the greatest quarterback in the NFL in your little pretend show this weekend?’

Chris: He's like, ‘You know what the stunt mans doing? I can do that!’ And we said, ‘We know! Please don’t!’

Aldis: Now the NFL owns Leverage.

John: We’d have a bigger budget, that'd be alright. 

[Laughter]

John: And then now down through the floor, this was fun playing around with- thank you Mythbusters, playing around with directional blowouts, and thermite and all the other sort of how to- oh that's a- and Nnamdi won't go down. 

Chris: No, he won’t.

John: We were- this- he’s the thug who ate his Wheaties.

Aldis: I think that's a great part about this entire sequence and just the character in general is: cause he finally- somebody gave Eliot a challenge, a real challenge you know. It was kinda like the season finale for the first season.

John: But that guy had technique, you know, that was the thing. What Eliot is facing right now is another dude who kills people professionally.

Aldis: Yeah.

John: You know, and just with power. It's also fun cause it’s- all Eliot/Parker scenes are inherently fun.

Chris: And here, and this was all built around the music. We knew this was gonna- we were gonna build to- there's a giant gong hit here and that was gonna be- that was the whole thing was timed to the explosion and now one of the words ‘boom’.

Aldis: We really blew a hole in a floor and let Nnamdi fall through? He was a trooper, he took it?

John: Yes, please don’t tell the Raiders.

Chris: Please don't tell Al Davis.

Aldis: I'm kidding, guys. Kinda.

John: This was actually shot later, we actually rebuilt the ceiling and then dropped it in later.

Chris: Yeah, it’s great.

John: They did a great job because they- it was like ‘We need you to build that ceiling that we built a couple episodes, but put a hole in it.’ Like, ‘Alright.’ Yeah. And Nate being in the middle of it unexpectedly is a wonderful development.

Chris: Even this, all this all the editing was just timed perfectly to the music as he pulls, Walle is his character, pulls into the corner. And here it is.

John: That's a nice beat, actually, was Sophie- that's a nice choice by Gina, Sophie being totally confident because she knows, she's already in on the hypnosis thing. So she's already ahead of it, and what that was meant to be encouraging. 

Chris: Now here it is. 

Aldis: [Humming the song]

Chris: And, you know, I have to say my wife, violinist, gives you huge props here for your fingering and your bow work.

Aldis: Thank you. You do realize this song haunted me as I was practicing and preparing for it? It literally was playing in my head when no other sound was on in the room. I painted a picture called The Scheherazade. I painted the notes themselves because I had to get it outta my head. It was-

Chris: That’s great.

John: Where's the painting?

Aldis: It’s still back in Portland waiting for me to get back to it.

John: Nice.

Chris: Now what kind of response did you get from people when this aired?

Aldis: A lot of musicians actually said I did a good job, which I was proud about. I was- I was more concerned about how musicians would take it. Because they know what to look for, and as I watched I was like, ‘Alright,’ you know, cringing, but a lot of them they really, really dug it.

John: Well you always see the flaws in your performance, you know.

Aldis: Yeah of course because I’m looking for it, as the actor. By the way, this scene when Beth has the tear, that wasn't a tear she just had allergies, but played to her strengths and- right there the yeah.

John: It's just the smoke and stuff, the allergies.

Aldis: Very dusty, you know, we just kept it, we kept it. I’m kidding Beth’s a great actress, she did that on her own.

Chris: She’s fantastic. She did that, I mean, that's pretty amazing. 

Aldis: Yeah was that her choice there?

Chris: Yeah.

John: Yeah, that wasn’t in the script.

Chris: And we didn't have a lot of time for that, too, we were really running out of time for that scene and they, boy were they great reacting to it.

Aldis: The boy did it! Uh!

[Laughter]

Aldis: Y'all know what this is! Sexual chocolate!

John: We’re gonna have to make t-shirts now, I hope.

Aldis: We are gonna have to make t-shirts.

Chris: Now in the original script, you got a girl's phone number; we had to cut it for time but there was.

John: Sexy violinists.

Aldis: It's alright, Hardison gets numbers.

Chris: You know, Hardison, we've been trying to hook you up and I'm sorry we ran out of time.

John: Well, you know that's alright, there's- I don't think the fans would like the girl.

Aldis: I think if I ever got hooked up, fans would just murder Hardison because-

John: They would not be happy.

Aldis: They're waiting on Parker.

John: Well also, you know, and what's interesting is: you've kind of changed looks since the first season. You were a very skinny kid when you came in that first season. You turned 21 the night we hired you.

Aldis: Yeah 21, I'm 24 now.

John: Yeah, you put a little man weight on you now.

Aldis: Man weight, shaved the whiskers a little bit, try to give you a little something different each year. Next year I'm gonna come in about 250 pounds.

John: Nice, maybe with a cane cause you can't quite walk, you got the gout.

Aldis: Cankles baby.

John: Rock the gout. This is brutal- just looking for the rematch.

Chris: I love the look.

John: Every time I see this, I try to figure out a way to bring that character back.

Chris: Can we bring him back?

John: Seriously man, that look as he rolls forward is like, I want that rematch.

Chris: You know he makes more money than everyone in- you know, I mean he's- he’ll fly out on a private jet and come do it.

John: Just I gotta figure out something. And then I remember cause it was great, cause- I was actually out of town and then you shot this, and I didn’t see anything until I saw the first cut of this. I didn't see any dailies and so I saw the first cut of this and when he rolled forward that time I'm like ‘Oh! No wait, I know there's no rematch’ but-

Aldis: Yeah.

John: It’s- it was fun it was being able to watch this episode as a fan was a big treat.

Chris: Yeah, and here it was trying to pay off the Scheherezade story by having Nate make up something on the fly.

John: Yeah, it's the- thematically it yeah it starts with a con, it has a heist in the middle, and ends with a con.

Chris: Ends with a con.

Aldis: Yeah.

John: And you just the balls- the sheer stones it takes, ‘I have no idea what's in this.’

Chris: Yeah, right?

John: Just absolute sheer stones. To just bet on a sealed deck. We actually talked about that, we had played around with poker episodes and just what kind of- we talked at length- and it's one of those things that will never wind up in the show but we wind up talking in the room, what kind of gambler Nate is. And Nate is a guy who will bet on whole cards he hasn't seen.

Chris: Right, yes.

John: Yeah which is not necessarily the smartest thing in the world, but that’s that guy.

Aldis: He's the kind of guy who loses all his money first at the table, but eventually gains a couple chips back.

John: Yeah, yeah. Or manages to just be luckier than smarter, but smart enough to know he's lucky.

Chris: And I have to say Marcel Davis here played Simian Moto the president, and did an amazing job. I mean he's a local Portland actor. 

John: Yeah, really- Portland. Never disappoints, Portland is a great place with great actors.

Chris: Now you can kinda see Gina slipping in there. It was- I know we had a couple of comments.

John: We had ten people on that set!

Chris: It was hard.

John: She's that black shape that kinda moves in with the secret service.

Aldis: I just saw her slip in there, keep your eyes open.

Chris: Keep your eyes open folks. She had- apparently she had a great time assembling this gun.

John: She was kinda rocking out the Helen Mirren in RED there.

Chris: She was.

John: She was really kinda- that was hot. She did- I watched the dailies on that like eight times, come on, she's very good at this. And the gloat, the drag out, the gloat.

Chris: The gloat and the drag away.

John: Very nice and the president. Oh Nnamdi wants to go! Let them go! Let them fight! That drinking game for Enter the Dragon. It’s like every time.

Chris: There we go, another time we’ll bring him back.

Aldis: Let's just send this out to all the Oakland raiders fans and see if they put in a vote, do you want Nnamdi back?

Chris: Do you wanna see Nnamdi back, please?

Aldis: Let's see what happens.

John: Promised by the DVD. Yeah. 

Aldis: I feel it'll be promising.

John: And this was a nice set up, and again it was interesting because she had such the upper hand in the first episode, this is the one where Chris really kinda reset that, yeah, Nate Ford is not a patsy. 

Chris: Yeah.

John: You know he is- there's a reason they’re using him. He's a dangerous guy, and he's become more of a dangerous guy this year because he's acknowledged who he is. Last year this would've played out differently.

Chris: Yeah, no it was- you know, the sequence was flirty, dangerous, a little bit of banter then she puts the screws to him and then he puts the screws to her here.

John: Yeah cause he knows. He knows, he dealt with these types of people, you know, he's not ignorant of exactly how big a game he's playing in right now. Great, great shot. She- this is a 1960s shot, that shot right there, I really love this. And she's got a very classic late 60s look and that was interesting because we used it- we actually called the character the Italian as shorthand because it was an archetype from the 60s, and then when she came on the show we were trying to come up with a name it's like, we're not gonna beat The Italian. 

Chris: No no, it’s the best.

John: Just keep it there. And it kinda kept her in the headspace, when we wrote the scripts it kept her in that zone.

Aldis: And when she happened to actually be Italian!

John: We started with that, that was the-

Aldis: Ahhh, ohhh, ahhhh!

John: Did we not explain that to you?

Aldis: Ahhhh!

John: We just happened to get Elisabetta. Yeah, there you go.

Aldis: There go- ahhh!

Chris: And this is a nice kind of close out to, you know we sort of set up earlier that Eliot has some regrets of things that he may have done back when he was a soldier. Things he saw in Africa. And I thought Tim had a nice ad lib here, cause he kinda indicated that it was Eliot's idea to provide money for kids in the community based on them selling the violin.

John: And that's- and yeah it was another thing, too, as we moved into the third season of, why are these people still together. You know the second year they had realized they were family but were not emotionally evolved enough to explain, to acknowledge that. Third year where they are together and you begin to see- you know Hardison sees this as his crime college. And he loves these people, but this is his crime college. You know, Eliot is beginning to see the path to his redemption. You know, Nate is the acknowledgement of his identity. Parker is becoming a human being. You know, everyone has their reason they're there. You know, Sophie's reason to be there is basically, she had come back to run the crew while Nate was in prison. And to be acknowledged as the co-lead. This is a great scene. By the way, you play this wonderfully, this is a big turn here.

Chris: Yeah.

Aldis: Thanks.

Chris: It was- you know this was a tricky reveal here because- and I'll say that on the hypnosis front I consulted with a hypnotist-

[Laughter]

Chris: This is not just me making stuff up out of thin air.

John: I'm the one to make stuff up out of thin air, Chris actually researches shit.

Chris: And in fact, the hypnotist said to me that if somebody had a- was extremely proficient in something at an early age, whether it was athletics or music, that he could put someone in a deep trance state and return them to their ability, that their life experience is kinda what's gotten in the way of their ability, that it's all up there in their head. And that's all that we’re saying here, we’re not saying that he made you- Nate made Hardison able to play, Hardison always knew how to play, it was just cleaning out the cobwebs to get you back.

Aldis: Right.

John: Also Sophie's- Gina's playing that complicitness in a really nice way, which is she went with it, she didn't like it, and she doesn't necessarily like what Nate’s become. Also fun, you had really focused on this is, during the research, the idea that prison is a bad idea for most criminals. Most criminals just go in and become better criminals. It's- they call it crime college, you know, and what tricks had Nate picked up while he was inside.

Chris: And look ultimately that the one of the things that makes Nate able to run this crew from- is that he's not a nice guy. And that he will push any button to get whatever he wants done. And that makes him, I think, a better leader, and a more interesting character than if he's just you know got your back every time you're in trouble.

John: We cannot say this enough: Nate Ford is not a nice man. 

Chris: Yeah.

Aldis: Right.

John: But that's what's required in the world that we set up in this show. And that's Scheherezade Job! Amazing job, both of you. I really wanna say this, I came to this as a viewer and this is one of my favorite episodes of the season, and of the entire run.

Aldis: It's one of my favorites.

John: I told the first time I watched this, I told Chris I wish my name was on it. I wish that I had the ‘Written by’ credit.

Chris: And you, you know I made a little comment to you back in season one, and boy did you make me happy.

Aldis: It happened. 

John: It’s great.

Aldis: Well thank you man I enjoyed it. The script was one of my best scripts, one of my favorite scripts from the entire three seasons, so.

John: Thanks man.

Chris: Thanks.

John: Alright stay tuned more coming up.

Aldis: Peace.

[visit-ba-sing-se]

hey it is me again rewriting a scene from the comics with no compliance to canon nor context just because it was on my dash and bothered me 

“You know it wasn’t, Zuzu.” The words came out before Azula had thought them through, and she directly scolded herself for that. Sure, the current situation was bad, but she liked to believe that she had been in way greater danger before. And in those moments, her brain had usually worked pretty well. Which was the reason why she was even still alive now to be stuck in this mess. Of course, she had to admit, a few times it hadn’t. Which was again the reason behind the mess. “What?”  At least she had managed to catch her brother surprise. His grip loosened a bit, and the anger in his eyes faded a little to make room for confusion, which turned into disbelief and then again quickly into scepticism. After everything, his face was still like an open book, and she could see him shifting through the different pages as he tried figure out her intentions.

“Like this. Between us.” Azula shrugged, as much as that was possible in her current position. “You know. me trying to kill you…you locking me up..me trying to kill you again…you holding me over a cliff…” 

Azula did her best to sound casual as she spoke. As if she was telling a funny remark, not recounting the shambles the relationship between her an Zuko had fallen into, each one a sharp dagger of its own. But she herself could hear how much her voice sounded like it was about to crack. And a part of her did not even mind. That part that was just so tired of keeping her act up, again and again, everyday and at all times. She had played it so well. Had done so much to keep to keep everything, but first and foremost herself in control. And where had that even gotten her? On the edge of a cliff, from which her brother would may or may not throw her to death. So, if there had ever been a moment to put her cards on the table, wasn’t it now? 

“Azula, I have no idea what you are getting at.” 

The anger had returned onto her bothers face, and Azula did not know what was worse: the fact that she actually wondered if he would have it in himself to kill her, or how little she cared about the answer.

“And to be honest am really not in the mood for one of your mind games right now.”

She could not help but laugh. It wasn’t real laughter. Too bitter and too dry.  Not like she really remembered what her real laughter even sounded like.  Of course, that was what he thought. That she was still scheming, with her feet in the air and the abyss below. And had that not been the picture she had always tried so hard to convey? Why was she mad at him for buying exactly the show she was selling? Because he does not even try to look behind the curtains, a voice in her head whispered the answer. Zuko opened his mouth to say something else, but she interrupted him before that.

“I am not playing anything. I am just answering your question. Truthfully.” She emphasised the last word. Not for him, but more for herself. It was about time she did that. “You know we were different when we were kids. How we used to play together. How we snuck in the kitchen to steal food.How you taught me the first bending moves. How we warned each other when dad was in a bad mood. That was not us against each other. That was us against the rest.” She paused, to give her words the room and weight they deserved to have. “You cannot tell me you do not remember what tricks we used to play on the staff. Or what stories you used to tell me about the dragons when I had snuck into your room at night. Or what you swore me when Lu Ten went to war.” 

Her brothers reaction reaction told Azula that he did, just as well as her. Even though that night had been so long ago, and at least to her felt like it had happened in another universe. 

The day that their older cousins, who had kind of been like a second bigger brother to her, had announced that he would leave to conquer Ba Sing Se. Of course the adults had tried to play it down, but Azula had not fallen for their tales. She knew what war was. Or least, she had thought so. At. least she had already understood that sometimes people went there and did not return. And that now one of those people would be Lu Ten. 

She had refused to join the family during meals and even missed her lessons, for the only time in her life. All she had done was sit at a turtle duck pond and stare into the water, which no amount of yelling nor nice words from either parent had been able to change. Azula did not remember what excactly she had been thinking back then, except for the she sworn herself to never talk to any of them ever again. Which had worked quite well. Until Zuko had shown up to sit next to her and put a hand around her shoulder.

“Hey, don’t be so sad, Azula,” he had said, obviously trying to sound more cheerful than her really felt. “Lu Ten surely will come back soon and well.”

Azula did not know why, but after that her tears has just started to flow.

“Zuzu, he is abandoning me. Abandoning us.” She had sniffed, hiding her face between her hands. “How can he just do that? I thought he was our friend.”

“Because he had to fight in the war. Like our uncle. It’s important for our nation. And his duty.”

“Stupid duty!” Today, her own reaction seemed hilarious to Azula. But she knew that she had meant each word she had said, the way only a child can mean them. “I think if you really care for someone, you do not just leave them behind. Not for any duty.”

“Well, I know that I would never abandon you.” Her brother had responded, he too as convinced of his words as only a child could be . “Not for anything in the world.”

“Promise?” she had asked.

“Promise” he had said, and they had shaken hands dramatically, while looking each other deep in eyes. As if they had just sealed a very important and serious deal.

Now, Azula was staring at those exact same and yet so different eyes again. Still the same shade of gold, but one of them now scared.

In them, she saw understanding. And then a very, very deep regret. A regret not limited to the events of today, but that seemed to span over all of their lost days. She recognized it not only because it was so obviously written on his face, but because she felt it too. When her brother carefully put her down on her feet again, its weight on her shoulder nearly made her legs give in. 

“How only did we end up here?” Zuko asked finally, shaking his head. There was no more accusation in his voice. Just sadness and disbelieve. Azula wanted to reach out to him. As close as they were standing, it would have been easy to put her arm on his. But at the same time, he seemed to be so far away, and the divide that had built between them over years just felt uncrossable. 

When had it started? She wondered. When had she started seeing Zuko as friend and brother and more like an opponent? Like a rival for her parents approval? Had it been when her training had gotten more serious? Or when her father mood swings had gotten worse? Azula could not remember. What she remembered was how there suddenly had been this fear. This fear to fail and disappoint, that had come and chased every other motion away. That had numbed her feelings for anyone and anything else, except for this one need. This one need to be perfect. To be the best. 

“You know”, her brother continued after a moment, while Azula was still deep in her thoughts,  “I usually tell myself that this is what we were destined for. That we just were made to stand on opposing sides and fight. But-“ his voice cracked, and took a while until he continued talking. “But that’s not true. That’s just what they taught us. What he taught us. He just was so good at it.” 

She truly wanted to believe that he was right. But she had just reached another conclusion before. One that she hated to have had, and one that she even more hated to share. But she had wanted the truth in first place. So now there was no turning back.

“No. It was me. I ruined it. I was so obsessed with making father proud and…..I”,

 Azula forced herself to continue speaking even though she felt like she was choking on her words, “I sacrificed you for that. I…I sacrificed us.” She felt hot, burning tears on her cheeks, but she did not care enough to even swipe them away. What were a few tears for so much that was lost? 

“And now it’s all ruined. I….I`m sorry.”

“Azula…no”, she saw her brother reaching our his hand. Slowly and hesitant, as if he was afraid she would back away. But she did not, and so he put it down on her shoulder. “Azula, you were child. We both were. And I am sure there were times I could have been a better brother, but I was not. Like back then. But also today. And for those I am sorry, too.” 

There were tears in his eyes as well, Azula noticed, just like the slight crack in his voice. And she knew that he meant everything he said.

“And of course I am sorry for the years we lost, and I wish we could turn back time and make things different. But-,” Zuko paused, and Azula could tell that he was carefully considering each word, “we still can have so many years ahead. Maybe we can try to make this right. Maybe we can at least take our future back from them”

He brother looked at her, a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but also nervously twitching his free hand. 

Azula knew that he was excepting an answer to his proposal. She also it would be difficult, and that it might not even work. She also knew that there had been a time where her answer would have been a clear no. No risk. No trust. No dependency. That had been her default, and part of her strategy to success. And also how she had lost everyone that had ever mattered to her. But now, more than anything, she just wanted her brother back.

“You really think we could?”, she said therefore, “because I really do want these years.

“Yes I do”, Zuko smiled through his tears. “After all, I have a promise to keep.”

And then, after what had felt like an eternity, Azula hugged her bother again. (submit another scene if you enjoyed this?)

[nanami-says]

Part V (2/3): chapters 58~60

Chapter 58

[About Sukuna’s fingers resonating with one another]

"The ones that possess an immense presence. The ones that are hiding. The ones that are already taken in by cursed spirits."

⇒ "1) The ones with too big presences. 2) The ones holding their breath. 3) The ones already absorbed by cursed spirits."

I added the numbers for explanation purposes, see below. 

"One of Sukuna's fingers was hidden by a cursed spirit. When Itadori consumed the finger in June, it released its cursed energy"

⇒ "The Sukuna fingers that had been absorbed were holding back their power [while] inside cursed spirits. Then they unleashed their cursed energy with Itadori's incarnation [of Sukuna] in June serving as a trigger."

Whelp. On top of extremely simplifying the explanation, they mixed up the kind of Sukuna finger involved here - it was very explicitly stated in the text that it was number 3) "absorbed" (assimilated) fingers, and not 2) "hiding" fingers. 

I guess saying that Itadori consumed the finger isn't wrong plot wise but it's actually referred to (here and many times more in the manga) as "incarnation"! The same word also gets used for the death painting brothers.

[Megumi remembering a conversation with Gojou] 

"I was surprised you asked me to train you"

⇒ "It's rare for you to ask me for a practice, Megumi"

"To train you" wasn't wrong but Gojou saying "it's rare" here points to it either happening occasionally or having happened in the past and I'm not sure "I was surprised" quite conveys that. 

"Are you feeling pressure because of Yuji's growth?"

⇒ "Did you get impatient after getting surpassed by Yuuji?"

Gojou actually says that Yuuji has surpassed Megumi here! Quite a different nuance from just "Yuji's growth".

"Megumi, your skill and potential are probably higher than Yuji's. All that’s left is the mental aspect"

⇒ “You know, Megumi, I think that both your real ability and potential are in no way inferior to Yuuji's. (...)"

Emphasis mine because pray tell, how does one reach the conclusion that "don't lose out to"/"aren't inferior to" equals to "are probably higher". “Skill” was fine btw but I’d probably go with “mindset” for the last line, personally.

[Gojou explaining why he thinks Megumi doesn’t know how to make a serious effort giving the baseball game as an example]

“Why did you bunt? You sacrificed yourself so that Nobara could advance. Well, good for you"

⇒ "Why did you make a sacrifice bunt? Did you want to advance Nobara to the next base even if it meant you'd be out yourself? That's commendable"

The nuance for the last line was just different - the word used there usually is just used as praise, either genuine or ironic but imo “good for you” has a different meaning. Also he says “out”  but it’s written as “death” (although that is sometimes the case in baseball as well.)

“But no matter how many allies you have around you, you'll always die alone"

⇒ “(...) when you die, you’re alone”

I tried to phrase it a bit closer to the original because I feel like the nuance may just be different for this line but can’t quite put a finger on the how.

[Gojou to Megumi]

"To die and then win, and dying victoriously are two completely different things, Megumi"

⇒ "To win by dying and to win even if you die are completely different, Megumi"

Emphasis by Gege. Ngl, I had no clue what the English was trying to say here… This is most likely what the line actually meant.

[Megumi regaining his consciousness after he blacked out from getting hit] 

 "How long was I out? Was my divine dog destroyed? No, my technique's finished"

Actually "my technique got undone". Putting it as "has finished" is imo both unclear and misleading. Similar situation as in ch. 1 (refer to part I).

[Lead-up to Megumi using a domain expansion for the first time]

"A jujutsu sorcerer's growth never comes easy"

⇒ "The growth curve of a sorcerer isn’t always gentle"

Mostly, the line was more intricate in the original but also the grammatical construction used here that they mistranslated as "never" actually means "not always [necessarily]” instead.

"Here we go!!"

Not really incorrect but it's kinda generic and I guess something like "I'm gonna do it!" is closer nuance wise. 

"With a firm base, skill and imagination, a person can change thanks to the slightest of events"

⇒ "A firm foundation, a handful of sense, and imagination. Then, [even] with a most insignificant opportunity, a person will change"

A pity they simplified "a handful of sense" into just "skill" here. Overall not really incorrect but I wanted to propose something that imo better conveys the original wording and vibe.

“Area expansion”

…”area”? What? Obviously this is actually “domain expansion”. I just don’t have words.

“Think bigger! My technique’s interpretation!”

First sentence actually referred to the second one, so it’s actually something like “Expand it!! The technique’s interpretation!!”

[Megumi to the cursed spirit after his shikigami deals it a finishing blow]

"Divine dog's claws even hurt it...You were no match!"

"(...) So something like piercing through you when you're not even paying attention was easy"

Less excitement, more dismissiveness, I’d say? Also, for the divine dog it’s actually specified that it’s “divine dog (totality)” and not just simply “divine dog”. The term appeared before in ch. 47.

Chapter 59

[Megumi talking about what he considers the basic rule for human interactions in a flashback to his middle school years]

"Basically, you shouldn't cross any line that violates another person's dignity. You should acknowledge each other's mutual existence. That's the rule. You ignored it and fed your stupid ego"

⇒ "In short, it's drawing a line in order not to jeopardise one another's dignity; [it’s] a process through which both parties can coexist. That's what the "rule" is”. You broke it, throwing your weight around and forcing everyone to walk on eggshells around you”

For the first sentence, Megumi says “it’s drawing a line”, so the nuance here was probably closer to “creating boundaries” rather than “crossing boundaries” like in the official English release. For the second sentence, the original literally says “the process through which one another’s existence is achieved”, so rather than acknowledging each other’s existence the sentiment is probably closer to live and let live? For the last sentence, they once again simplified it to the barest bones.

"I'll definitely tell Ikezawa and everyone today that we're not their lapdogs"

“You got this, Aida!”

"But we might be the next punching bags, so don't go overboard!"

Should be “Ikezawa and others'' and definitely “that I’m not their errand boy” for the smallest boy’s first line. If all of them were already being treated as errand boys like the way using the plural form here implies, the other student’s reply wouldn’t make sense.

[After Tsumiki sees Megumi has beaten up delinquents once again]

“You said you wouldn’t pick fights anymore”

“You’re not my mom”

⇒ (...) “Don’t act like you’re my guardian”

Imo the distinction is significant because there’s a possibility that Tsumiki as the older of the two probably did feel responsible for Megumi to an extent and acted accordingly, as if she was his guardian. 

Also, he doesn’t actually say “mom” - this is not the first time where the official English release opts for a gendered phrase where the original uses a neutral form. (Like making Yuuji say his grandpa was like a dad to him when he actually said parent all the way back in ch. 2.) 

[Megumi’s thoughts from back in the middle school]

"I hate bad guys with no brains and zero emotional capability. Walking around feeling proud. Disgusting."

⇒ "I hate bad people. The way they act like they’re superior, with their complete lack of imagination or sensitivity. Disgusting”

I guess I really dislike the way they worded it here, especially the “no brains” part since Megumi wasn’t really talking about intellect or smarts here but about imagination (and sensitivity), which he literally describes as being akin to "vacant lot", "empty lot", "raw land”, which is much more evocative.

"I hate goody-goodies forgiving bad people, justifying mercy. Makes me wanna puke"

⇒ "I hate good people. The way they forgive such bad people and perceive that act of forgiveness as something noble. They make me sick"

Mhm, way to just simplify the heck out of the whole line. I’m extra bothered by their use of “goody-goodies” here since this is yet another appearance of a rather formal word for “good person” (善人/zennin) in the original and which I’ve observed to be a very important part of the world-building in jjk. I discuss it at length in various previous installments, with notable examples including: ch. 9 (Megumi about Yuuji and about the kind of people he wants to save - part I), ch. 31 (Nanami and Yuuji’s conversation in the aftermath of the Junpei incident - part III 2/2), ch. 36 (Panda about Yuuji - part IV 2/5).

“Tsumiki, you’re a perfect example of a good person.”

See, the word he uses here to describe Tsumiki is the same as in the line above (善人) but because back then it got translated as “goody-goodies”, you’d never guess it since the vibes are just that different.

[Megumi reminiscing about meeting Gojou for the first time]

"In the first grade, my dad and Tsumiki's mom got married and separated just as quickly"

⇒ "When I was in the first grade of elementary school my father and Tsumiki’s mother, our respective single parents, got together and disappeared into thin air"

The original doesn’t mention marriage OR separation. Heck, especially for the second one, it doesn’t even come close to mentioning it?? I have no clue where they got this from. 

What I put as “got together” can also be translated as “to have a liaison with (a man or a woman)” (among others). Since Tsumiki’s surname is also “Fushiguro” in middle school, it’s possible that they were actually married and many Japanese fans seem to think that as well but it’s not explicitly stated, at least not here, so those are most likely speculations. 

As for mysterious “separation”, the word used here actually means "disappearance (of people intentionally concealing their whereabouts); unexplained disappearance", so imo the whole section means their parents got together and at some point both disappeared. As we learn at one point in the manga Touji first and Tsumiki’s mum sometime later. 

(Btw, one fan scanlation used “evaporation” here instead and while this is another possible translation of the word in question, imo from the context it’s clear that the intended meaning was the “unexplained disappearance” instead.)

Lastly, Megumi uses kind of formal expressions when referring to both his own dad and Tsumiki’s mum, which imo is indicative of the emotional distance.

[Tiny Megumi about teenager Gojou]

"A weirdo with white hair said"

⇒ "A suspicious man with white hair"

Needless to say, he doesn't actually call Gojou a weirdo.

[Gojou about Touji] 

"But he's a loser that just works for me. He left the family and had you."

⇒ "He's enough of a good-for-nothing to take aback even me. Basically, he left home and then had you."

Emphasis mine. Again, I literally have no clue where they got the translation they went with for this. “Works for me” - just what?? (Btw, one of the fan scans available for this had the latter part of this line mistakenly imply that Gojou had Megumi leave his house. The bit definitely referred to Touji leaving the Zen’in family.)

"You're something your dad used against the Zen'in family. His trump card"

⇒ “You’re something your father kept as his strongest card against the Zen’in family”

A bit of a different nuance than “your dad used” suggests.

"The divorce money makes sense now. I was sold to this Zen'in family"

⇒ "The mystery behind the funds for their disappearance got solved. Apparently, I was sold to this Zen’in family or something"

Again, the word for “divorce” doesn’t make an appearance ANYWHERE in this chapter, least of all this page. ...How. 

Once again - fan scans had this as money that also evaporated but neither it nor the official English release make sense, considering the line is followed up by “I was sold” as the explanation. So yeah, imo the first sentence definitely referred to the money Megumi considered necessary for Touji (and co’s) disappearance.

[Gojou referring to Touji basically selling Megumi off]

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it's annoying. Especially your attitude."

⇒ “It pisses you off, doesn’t it”

“Yeah, it does piss me off. Especially that lack of delicacy of yours”

I mentioned it multiple times but imo repetition in the original text tends to be done on purpose and as a device and imo this was another example where this was the case. Megumi borrows Gojou’s words here. (Which mean “to be irritated, “to be angry” and not “it sucks”.)

[Megumi continuing about Gojou]

"But that annoying guy wrote off the situation with the Zen'in family. He made a promise that we would work as sorcerers in the future. We would be collateral and receive financial support from Jujutsu High in exchange."

⇒"This man pisses me off, but it was him who cancelled the deal with the Zen'in family, and made it so we would receive financial support from the technical college with me working as a sorcerer in the future [serving] as collateral for it”

I don’t know why they’d translate it as “we would work” here since who the “we” would be supposed to even entail other than Megumi himself? Surely not Tsumiki. Or Gojou. Also, putting the next bit as “we would be collateral” makes it sound kind of dehumanising to me, ngl, whereas Megumi was talking about his labour here.

Also, the same phrase for “pisses off” as above got used once again, which makes it three times in a row, so imo that was definitely a deliberate stylistic choice on Gege’s part.

“Jujutsu sorcerers. How stupid.

⇒ "Sorcerers, what even. How nonsensical"

Just proposing an alternate wording.

[Megumi about the curse Tsumiki got hit by]

"All we knew was that we didn't know anything. Tsumiki still sleeps."

The word used to describe Tsumiki’s state literally means “became bedridden”, which imo heavily implies she fell into a coma. “Still sleeps” is most likely a misunderstanding on the translator’s part since the word sounds like it’d mean that (but it doesn’t.)

[Megumi about Tsumiki]

"Always smiling and saying nice things"

⇒ “Always smiling and spouting lip service”

Another case where the translator seems to have translated the word based on the way it’s written as opposed to checking the actual meaning. (The “nice things” phrase.)

"It's not a bad thing to not forgive people. Megumi, that's your way of showing kindness."

⇒ “Not being able to forgive people isn’t a bad thing. That’s your kindness, Megumi”

It wasn’t just “not to forgive” but “not being able to forgive”! Which imo would imply the next line’s nuance was something similar to Tsumiki considering Megumi’s inability to forgive people to be something that stems from his kindness (e.g. because he can’t stand seeing injustice).

"Even spinning my short-comings in a positive light."

⇒ “She would affirm even my nature"

Imo this line was more of Tsumiki accepting Megumi as he is or at least that’s what the line says - makes sense with what I proposed for the line above too. Translating it the way they did in the official release kind of feels like overinterpreting.

"But even she would get upset when I hurt somebody. I was annoyed by the hypocrisy"

⇒ "But even such Tsumiki would get genuinely angry (...). I would get annoyed thinking she was a stickler to the rules and a hypocrite"

Emphasis mine. The phrase that the translators seem to have skipped here and I translated as "stickler to the rules" literally means "to play it safe", "to avoid trouble at all cost". 

"Yeah, I know. I was immature. I'm sorry so please wake up already"

“I’m sorry, I was a brat. I’ll apologise so just wake up already, stupid older sister”

Just a different nuance and tone for the whole line.

"All I did was get rid of the Yasohachi bridge curse. My sister's sleeping curse is a separate matter."

⇒ "This Yasohachi bridge curse was probably only overlapping with it, and the curse that caused Tsumiki to fall into a coma probably hasn't been lifted"

The official English release makes it sound like sleeping (or more correctly, the coma) was the nature of the curse that Tsumiki was put under, whereas imo the original indicates it just as its effect, which is an important distinction.

“As for the finger and Itadori…”

⇒ “What should I tell Itadori about the finger...”

The “tell”, “say” is only implied here but it’s pretty clear from the context that was the meaning. Also, he explicitly says “to Itadori” here.

[After the Yasohachi bridge curse got defeated by Megumi who then retrieved the Sukuna finger from it] 

"All of sudden I feel a presence. Did the finger get out of the barrier? Whoever took out the finger bearer is quite formidable."

⇒ “The huge presence that appeared all of sudden... Did Sukuna's finger get out of the barrier? If it was a sorcerer that exorcised the finger's host, they must be quite good......."

Emphasis mine on bits that got cut out in the official release. Because Esou was facing off Nobara, he probably assumed it’s likely there may be other sorcerers present and imo that’s what this line also suggests.

"Even so... The finger... Even if they fought against a special-grade and won, They more than likely didn't come out of it unscathed. I hope they're okay."

Just to clarify that the word used for “they” in the original indicates the speaker knows the people in question, so those were Nobara’s thoughts here.

 Chapter 60

[Esou to Yuuji and Nobara after he activates his wing king technique]

“Start running and turn your backs to me”

“Run. With your backs turned to me” would fit better nuance and mood wise. (Esou didn’t want to show his back to anyone so now he’s’ forcing them to show theirs.)

[Nobara to Yuuji after he scooped her up because she couldn’t run as fast as he could]

“I got your back”

“Okay”

“Okay” isn’t incorrect per se but the word has the nuance of “I’m counting on you”.

[Nobara to Yuuji after he speeded through the forest while carrying her, allowing them to escape from Esou's technique]

"Well done, you deserve some praise"

“Yeah, yeah”

“Just kidding. Thanks!”

⇒ "You have my praise." (...)

Actually a set phrase! Spoken from a rather elevated/superior POV, which is why Nobara later reiterates that she’s genuinely thankful. Also, I probably would just go with a period for “Thanks”, imo nuance wise it didn’t require an exclamation mark and it’s not there in the original either.

[Esou after Yuuji gets splashed with Kechizu’s blood]

"There's no need to worry. My younger brother's blood isn't the same quality as mine"

Actually "doesn't have the same properties like mine”.

"You wouldn't even die from mine unless you were drowned in it."

Much closer to something like "unless you were to bathe your whole body in it".

"But it does hurt like hell"

⇒ "But it does hurt to death"

Not really wrong meaning wise but in the original it was “to death” instead of “like hell”, which combined with a previous line was probably a wordplay. "You won't die but it does hurt to death"

[Esou explaining how his and Kechizu’s shared technique works]

"If you take in one of our brother's blood and if one brother activates a technique"

Idk if it's clear here but it most likely doesn't matter which brother does which (could even be the same one). Also, definitely should’ve been “the” or “this” for technique, since Esou has just stated on the same page he’s now going to start laying out how a specific technique of he and his brother’s functions.  

[Esou replying to Yuuji]

"Yes, the result is essentially poison. Our technique is 'decomposition'"

Should be “but what our technique is, is actually ‘decomposition’” nuance wise.

"It's activated now. In reality they'll be dead faster than that”

⇒ “Done with technique disclosure, so in reality (...)”

Emphasis mine. You know, the rule in jujutsu where if you explain your technique to your opponent, it gets a buff? “Activation” is just wrong here. 

While it’s not phrased as such, the phenomenon is first explained in ch. 20 during Nanami’s explanation to Yuuji (refer to part II 2/2). It also gets mentioned by name later in the manga but oftentimes the official release would either skip it or word it completely differently so it’s hard to tell, like in ch. 51, when Hanami realises Toudou has lied to him (part IV 5/5). 

[The history of how cursed wombs came to be]

"[In the beginning of the Meiji era] there was a girl with special genetic makeup who bore a cursed-spirit child"

Actually “with an idiosyncrasy that allowed her to get pregnant with the child of a cursed spirit”! Imo an important distinction since it’s not certain whether her first child that gets discussed here was born prematurely or not and the following pregnancies were all aborted.

"A child born of mixed blood - both cursed spirit and human.”

Skipped “grotesque child” at the end.

“It was a mysterious pregnancy. She would be ostracized by family and friends.”

⇒ "Starting from a pregnancy she had no recollection of, [followed by] the oppression from her kith and kin, it made her go insane"

This latter part of this section is filled to the brim with complicated language so I’m not entirely sure but I think this might’ve been the intended meaning of the line. The official translators were probably struggling with the vocabulary too, so they cut out some stuff entirely, to be precise - the go insane part. It’s the bit I’m not certain about myself but I scoured Japanese dictionaries and that’s the meaning that seemed to be the best fit among the options.  

Anyway, to reiterate - the bit about the pregnancy actually says that the girl herself didn’t even know (couldn’t remember) how it came to be. The part about the relatives doesn’t mention friends, it’s actually a set phrase that means “one's relatives by blood and marriage (in blood and law); one's kith and kin” - I went here with the latter since it’s shorter and fits the overall vibe of the line.

“She would hold the corpse of the child and flee to a temple in the mountains. The temple was run by jujutsu sorcerers. However, her luck had run out."

⇒ “(...) However, this was when her luck run out”

Other than the nuance in the last line, this isn’t mistranslated but the whole section just flowed differently in the original and felt less disjointed.

Also! One of the scanlations I’ve seen had it misspelled as “Noshitori” but the evil sorcerer’s name is actually “Kamo Noritoshi” (and yes, it’s the same as the young Kamo but the “toshi” is written with different characters).

"The child born from a cursed spirit and human would become a prisoner of intellectual curiosity"

⇒ "His [Kamo Noritoshi's] intellectual curiosity would be taken captive by children born between a cursed spirit and a human"

Very much the other way around. It's very clear in the original that the subject of the sentence was Kamo's intellectual curiosity and not the child.

"Death painting wombs: numbers 1-3. Cursed objects worthy of special grade."

Closer to "cursed objects powerful enough to be classified as special grade"

"Did cursed energy originate from a mother's hatred? No..."

It's specified here as "did their cursed energy" instead (emphasis mine), and the question is actually left unanswered......................................................... So yeah, congrats on getting rid of this very intended ambiguity. It's something like "or was it maybe--"

[About cursed wombs]

"For 150 years, with only the notion of one another's existence, they would survive, sealed away"

⇒ "For 150 years, they endured the seal, relying only on one another's existence"

"The notion" just doesn't capture the sentiment of the line at all, which imo is most likely the follow-up to the narrator's musings about the origin of the death painting's immense cursed energy. (See above.)

"We're siding with that cursed spirit."

Actually "siding with them", read as "them" but written as "the cursed spirits" - probably plural as the original literally says "the side of the cursed spirits", so it possibly means cursed spirits as a whole as well, aside of Mahito and co specifically. Remember, the brothers are actually half-humans too. I explain in depth the “written as but read as” device in part IV 4/5 (ch. 48, Toudou’s “my friend” phenomenon).

"The future that the cursed spirits have painted is more suited for us. But that's it. Forget about what we owe for our freedom"

Not incorrect per se but Chousou actually says “forget the debt we owe them of our incarnation”, which would make it yet another instance where the official English release has cut out the term entirely. (Emphasis mine.)

[Nobara after stating that a technique that assures a win as long as it hits an opponent is indeed powerful]

"I'm a bad match for you!!"

Actually “the worst match [possible]” - more confidence in the line! 

[Nobara to the death painting brothers after using Resonance on herself thus redirecting their attack back at them]

"Let's play a game of chicken, shall we?"

The actual wording is “contest of endurance”, I’m not entirely sure if the two have the same connotation.

[part v (3/3)]

[sybilmarlowe]

Just managed to watch episode 5 (always late cause I’m busy as hell), I have something to say... 

Yes, I’m loving this season, even if it’s so strange and different. 

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

The title “Road to Hell” couldn’t be more appropriate cause that’s what this episode is, a road, a path leading to the first ending of the series, which, imho, occurs right in the moment Tommy says his statement “could there be a sadder ending?” 

The End. 

So, we follow the full evolution of a character from a certain point on. We meet him as a young man who has just survived, almost miraculously, the real hell, that one made my humans to destroy other humans. He witnessed unspeakable horrors and he’s painfully aware of one only thing: men are monsters and he’s one of them. There’s no coming back from something like this. 

His reaction is extremely comprehensible: he tries to fight this new consuming awareness with rationality and control. Things that you can control can’t hurt you and (as I said in some previous post) it’s a very human reaction. He finds his own way to feel safe and to protect his loved ones by acting the way he does, but at the same time he knows his methods are not the best and from the very beginning we see him promising himself and his family he’s aiming to change. Not immediately, no, he has to be cautious: illegal actions are the ones he’s most capable of, they will provide the solid base to start changing safely, just a base, then no more illegality. 

How many times does he say it during the past 5 seasons? Yet, he never changes. Never.

Not saying he’s never meant to, I guess his intentions has always been focused on this phantom change, but in reality... It’s like he never trusted the oportunity to change path. He never trusted himself as a good person, cause he’s deeply deeply convinced he’s not one. He’s been knowing it very clearly since the war. 

You know why I think Grage was so important? Because his love for her was the last good thing he got to feel, right when he thought there was no more space for light in the heart of a beast covered in mud and blood. Simply that, simply everything. 

Making her die as a consequence of Tommy’s actions was actually brutal but also very symbolical: no good can come out of bad actions, Tommy has been ruining himself with his own hands from the very beginning. He could have that everything, but kept not trusting himself as a good man and lost it all.

Drastic, yes? 

Even going on, he keeps trying to change, saying himself he’s doing not-so-good things for a good cause, he charges himself with the weight of the world hoping to get some kind of forgiveness... But, in spite of all his convictions and good intentions, he keeps acting as a criminal, losing piece by piece all of what he had at the beginning. 

And he never actually faces the truth until episode 5.

There, at that table, when even Lizzie finally looks at him with disgust, he realizes something crucial. Something masterfully conveyed by the hallucination in which he overlaps the images of the tunnel and his beautiful and rich bathroom in Arrow House, filled with dirty water and corpses. No matter how much he tried, no matter how many good causes he embraced, no matter how wealthy, powerful and respectable he became... he never walked a step far from that tunnel in France. Because he never actually wanted to.

Could there be a sadder ending? 

***********************

Final thoughts, totally random, just want to make that “how many did you guess” game next Sunday. 

Not sure Tommy will actually die, not for his illness at least (like, why naming so explictly a second doctor if she won’t have any significant role?)

He will be injured/close to death/I don’t know, he’ll have a very specific hallucination featuring Grace, Polly, Ruby, his mother (I bet) and so on, but he won’t get to be freed from this life. Not yet.

He’ll kill Michael. 

He’ll beg Polly for forgiveness for this.

Very dramatic. 

Lizzie will fuck him off for good.

Ada will be the only one staying by his side, with a mixed mood of affection and despising pity.

No redemption for Tommy. 

Karl will be there in the background turning into some bastard we’ll get to hate in the movie.

We’ll last see Alfie in a nostalgic aura, he will have a bad ending off screen and it’ll be extremely clear from his last appearence. Don’t ask me how.

Charlie Strong will take Duke under his wig. 

Don’t know what to think about Charlie Shelby, hope Lizzie will take him away with her. 

Arthur will die. 

Gina unfortunately won’t die. 

Not even Diana. 

These two might share a scene. 

Fucking Jack Nelson will die.

Mosely died 40 years ago, so he won’t fucking die. 

That’s.... all? 

[buckyskorpion]

Do Something Bad, Too - Part 5

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: It’s like every single Alpha on the planet won’t rest until they’ve confessed their eternal wish for you to mother their children, and it’s getting old. Luckily, that’s a problem Bucky might be able to fix.

Warnings: language, a/b/o dynamics, mentions of violence

A/N: sooooo..... lets not mention the last time i updated this fic was four years, and get excited that im finally updating!! woo!! i really hope this was worth the wait, im very anxious about letting you guys down. let me know what you honestly think! love u all, thank u for sticking with me

series masterlist | main masterlist | my ko-fi

You stay in Nat’s apartment in the Tower for the rest of your heat, which lasts an entire week. Nat comes and goes throughout that time to make sure you’re drinking enough water, to make you dinner or run you a bath, or sometimes just to keep you company when you’re capable of that. She doesn’t stay long, though, aware her presence just makes the unbearableness of going through heat even worse. She also doesn’t mention Bucky’s clothes or anything about that first day, which you’re immeasurably grateful for. You don’t think you could talk about it without crying.

To say you’re humiliated is an understatement. Mixed with that is all this guilt and shame and self-hatred for inflicting that situation on you and Bucky. Mostly for Bucky. He had made it so very clear he was only comfortable helping you with the scent thing, and even with that there were boundaries. You had blown through them all by showing up to his apartment, triggering both your instincts to do things you couldn’t control, and now he probably resented you enough to never want to see you again.

You don’t blame him. It doesn’t stop it from hurting so much, though.

You’ve well and truly fucked yourself now. Not only is it omega instincts driving you towards Bucky now, but also your own stupid, naive heart. You miss his giant hands and broad shoulders that block out the world for a second, narrowing your scope to just the two of you. You miss the way you can breathe around him, how the world doesn’t feel so scary and foreign to you when he’s by your side. It’s crazy because you weren’t even close, you weren’t even really friends, but now you never will be because you’re so goddamn stupid it’s actually astounding.

Nat’s plan had not worked. And this time, you couldn’t even blame her for this colossal backfire. This is all your handiwork.

You’re back in your office, returning to work once your fever died down and you could stand to be in the vicinity of other alphas without passing out. Maybe you’re tapping rather aggressively on your keyboard, and maybe all the techies on the floor can hear you sigh and groan in frustration every two seconds and are sending you strange looks through the glass. Whatever, you’re their boss, they can’t say anything. Besides, your boss has requested some rather strange security upgrades and you’re not sure if it’s within your job description to email Tony Stark and say what the fuck?

It turns out you don’t have to, because Tony Stark comes to you. It’s not often he takes part in the day to day workings of Stark Industries - that’s your job, after all. But he comes striding into your office eating an apple and wearing sunglasses during the middle of the day, and points a ringed finger at you.

“You’re back,” he says, and you find yourself glancing down at your baby-blue pantsuit just to make sure you are, in fact, back. Stark takes a very pointed breath through his nose and adds, “You smell terrible. This is great!”

“Great?” You can’t help but sound bitter. Your smell is hardly great to you. Even after sweating out your entire body-weight and taking more showers than is considered healthy, you still smell like Bucky. You can’t escape him - not your thoughts, not your heart, and certainly not the way your skin seems to emanate him like he’s crawled underneath and set up shop. It’s embarrassing and humiliating, because it’s not real, and just serves to remind you of the terrible mistake you’ve made. You hope beyond hope Stark doesn’t recognise the other alpha scent clinging to your pores.

“Yes, great. I need your help,” he says, sitting down in a chair opposite your desk. You glance at the specs you have open on your computer, the strange security upgrades he wants you to make to the Tower, and then back to Stark’s million-dollar smile. It’s unsettling. You feel a headache forming before he even opens his mouth.

“If this has anything to do with these emails-“

“Those can wait,” Stark says, waving a dismissive hand at your computer. He lobs his applecore into the bin beside your desk as if to punctuate his point, then says, “This is a request on behalf of the Avengers.”

“Um,” you say, rather eloquently. Avengers? What on earth could they want with you, unless- you groan, rolling your eyes to the ceiling. “Natasha.”

“She highly recommended your expertise,” Stark says, and that headache brewing in your temples blooms into a full-blown migraine. He stands, smooths out his slacks, and says without room for question, “Follow me.”

This is how you end up back in the residential floors of the Tower, much to your chagrin, which Stark seems to pick up on. The closer you get to Bucky’s floor the more fidgety you become, heart racing and skin turning clammy until you watch the numbers fly by and you leave him somewhere in the clouds above Manhattan. The elevator doors ding open to a floor that seems to go on forever, full of gym equipment and fancy simulation tech you figure the Avengers must use to train. You find Natasha’s red head on the sparring mats, tackling someone to the ground with her thighs, and glare daggers as you follow Stark into the room.

“She’s alive!” Natasha calls across the room, ignoring your death glare for a knowing smirk. Her voice echoes through the warehouse-style gym floor, drawing the attention of the others in the room. The Avengers, and all of a sudden you feel like an eighteen year old kid watching aliens attack New York on a grainy satellite TV in the desert again. This is like meeting celebrities on another level. Steve Rogers finishes wrapping his hands as he walks over to you and Stark, Sam Wilson beside him, and Natasha gives Clint Barton a hand to help him up from the mats.

“What have you roped me into now, Nat?” you ask, not bothering to hide your frustration. You’ve just about had it with her meddling, but you should’ve known it was a pipe dream to think she would stop.

“We know you’re very busy, we won’t take up much of your time,” Steve Rogers says, extending a hand and introducing himself like he needs to. Captain America needs no introduction.

“I know who you all are,” you say, giving them a nod. “And you’re right, I am busy. So why am I here?”

“You and Nat must get along like a house on fire,” Clint says, earning him an elbow in the gut from Nat herself. You grin, all sharp in the way Nat tells you looks scary in a hot way, and watch as he subtly shifts behind Nat as if to hide behind her smaller frame. It’s only then that you register the scents mingling between them, and realise that Clint Barton is Nat’s omega. She grins at you, beatific and serene, as if she can read your thoughts and knows exactly what you’ve just figured out.

“Let’s not hold (Y/n) up any longer,” Nat says, grinning in a way that always spells trouble for you. “She’s a woman in high demand.”

Stark leads them to what seems to be a large empty space in the training facility, but it’s soon filled with hologram projections from a tiny Starkpad he pulls from his pocket. You fall into step beside Nat, using your height advantage to glare down at her and convey the level to which you want to strangle her right now. She just loops her arm with yours and kisses you on the cheek, frustrating your attempts at intimidation before you can even begin. Bloody Russian spies, you grumble to yourself as you come a halt in front of the holograms.

You’re looking at building specs, that much is obvious. Why, though, is entirely lost on you. The structure is a tall hexagonal building reminding you of a panopticon, with security floors in the centre and what seem to be prison cells surrounding them. Details jump out from Stark’s hologram - security cameras, miniature guards patrolling the floors, thermally sealed doors and electromagnetic force-fields on the cells. It’s a prison, you surmise, and you’re starting to get a bad feeling as to why you’re here.

You turn to Nat and say, “I’m not going back in the field.”

She pats your arm with only a tiny bit of condescension and says, “I’m not asking you to.”

“You’re my Head of Security,” Stark says, then gestures to the hologram building, “If you can design impenetrable security systems, surely you can undo them.”

“You want me to help you break into this place?” you ask. The team all nod, and you look back at the intimidating, virtual-blue building in front of you. “It’s a fortress.”

“Yeah, they really upped the anti on security since I was in there,” Sam Wilson says, earning him a reproachful look from Steve. It does nothing to soothe the anxiety starting to thread through your chest. Failing the Avengers doesn’t seem like an option, but from where you’re standing, neither is breaking into this facility.

“I’ll need to know what it is first,” you say, “Then I can try and help you. Emphasis on try. I’m not a miracle worker.”

“It’s called the Raft,” Steve says, his face growing stony and set as he talks. “It’s a prison designed for enhanced persons by Secretary Ross. After Germany, I broke Sam, Scott, and Clint out. But Wanda-“

“We need to get her out of there,” Clint says. You pretend not to notice as beside you Nat discreetly takes his hand, rubbing her thumb across his bruised knuckles.

“Leave the search and rescue to us,” Stark says, and you watch him shift uncomfortably under some inscrutable looks Steve and Sam are giving him, “We just need your help on how to get into the joint.”

“Simple,” you breathe, but only Nat laughs. This seems like an impossible task, but from the look of  everyone around you, failure isn’t an option. You’re going to have to make the impossible possible. It’s a good thing you’ve had some experience with that - in the military, trapped into sand-filled corners with no foreseeable way out, it really did seem like you were working miracles to stay alive out there. You swallow past a dry mouth and blink through desert-gunked eyes, say, “I’ll need that Starkpad, and some time.”

“You have forty-eight hours,” Stark says. The hologram disappears in a blink as he throws the Starkpad, no bigger than your palm, which you only just manage to catch. Stark clicks his fingers, as if an idea as just occurred to him, and says, “Oh, I almost forget to tell you! The Raft is underwater. Completely submerged, middle of the ocean, super top-secret. Fun, right?”

Your heart drops to your stomach. Fun is not the word you you would use. Only forty-eight hours to break into the most secure facility in the country, if not the world? This day couldn’t possibly blindside you anymore.

As if the universe is conspiring against you, FRIDAY’s voice chimes in from overhead speakers to say, “Mr Stark, Sergeant Barnes is on his way to the gym floor.”

You feel your whole body lock up, heart seizing in your chest - Bucky? Here? You weren’t prepared to see him yet, or speak to him. What would you say? How could you apologise for one of the worst crimes you may have ever committed, and you’ve killed people? Natasha unloops her arm from yours, tries to soothe you with a hand on your back but it does nothing for the anxiety shooting sparks throughout your blood stream.

“How many times have I got to tell that illiterate Soviet popsicle, he’s not on the fucking team,” Stark grumbles, storming towards the elevators with a scowl. Steve clenches his fists, glaring after Stark but Sam holds him back. He mutters something only Steve can hear which makes him close his eyes and exhale sharp through his nose - frustrated, but calming by the nanosecond.

It’s a shame nobody thought to do the same for you.

“What did you just call him?” you say, ignoring Natasha’s warning murmur of your name as you follow after Stark. Maybe you still have some residually elevated hormones from your heat, or you really are just a lovesick idiot who can’t control her temper, but whatever it is has you absolutely incensed. Stark stops dead, clearly caught off guard by the venom in your voice, and spins on his heel to stare at you incredulously.

“Excuse me?” he says, blinking owlishly at you as you lean up into his space. You’re aware you’re overstepping the boss/employee line, but you can’t help yourself. The rage is brewing, and with each laboured breath Bucky’s scent grows stronger and stronger until it’s all you can smell. It settles over your skin like armour, and the urge to protect that hold on you, to protect him, is beyond your control - it’s primal.

“Don’t talk about him like that, ever,” you snarl, watching with satisfaction as Stark’s eyes turn round and wide.

He glances behind you towards his friends and says, “Are we sure she isn’t an alpha? Sheesh.”

“Tony,” Natasha warns, but it’s too late. You use the palm of your hand to slam into Stark’s solar plexus. You kick out his kneecap and he drops on one knee, wheezing and gasping for air. It all happens so fast you can’t even think about the repercussions of assaulting your boss, let alone what’s driven you to do it in the first place.

“I don’t need to be an alpha to kick your ass,” you hiss, glaring down at Stark who looks up at you like you have, in fact, lost your mind.

At that moment, the elevator dings and reveals Bucky practically seething behind the elevator doors. He storms in, larger than life - in the week or so it’s been since you’ve seen him, you’ve somehow forgotten how physically intimidating he actually is. You immediately step back from Stark’s kneeling figure, feeling the strange need to hide your hands behind your back like a kid caught with the cookie jar. Bucky glances wildly between you, Stark on the ground, and the ring of Avengers in different states of attempting to intervene. He heaves ragged breaths and is emitting a scent that threatens to take you to your knees, too. Authoritative, powerful, protective.

That submissive, animalistic side of you makes you really hate being an omega sometimes.

“Why is she here?” Bucky asks someone behind you, probably Natasha. He swings his, frankly, frightening gaze to Stark and demands with just as much venom as you had, “What did you do to her.”

“Jesus Christ, nothing!” Stark wheezes, clutching at the spot on his chest you’ve definitely bruised. He points an accusing finger at you and cries, “She hit me!”

“I’m so sorry,” you say, feeling your hands start to shake where you clutch them behind your back. You look to Bucky like maybe he can explain, which makes you sick to your stomach because he’s not yours to look towards. Now, more than ever, that is abundantly clear. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do!” Natasha pipes up behind you, helpful as ever. Bucky glares at her for you this time, releasing you of his burning-hot stare. His gaze has the power to paralyse you, and you need to get away from him, this, all of it - right now. You don’t get a chance to, however, before Natasha once again sticks her foot in it and says, “She was defending your honour, James.”

“Yeah, and I’ve no idea why. One quick google search should tell you he doesn’t need any-“

It takes you a second to realise the snarling, growling sound echoing through the gym is coming from you. Your face burns as you roll your lips together, cutting the sound off completely. For your entire life you’ve been headstrong and confident, but this whole experience with Bucky from the very first day you met him has shaken your entire self-perception. Everything you’ve known has been turned upside down - it was easy when all alphas were assholes, and you were one omega they couldn’t fuck with. Now, you stare down at your shoes and refuse to look in Bucky’s direction because he’s affected you so much you can’t even control yourself anymore. The worst part is that it’s entirely your own doing, because Bucky made it very clear you aren’t the one he wants, so everything you’re doing right now is just incredibly humiliating.

“(Y/n)?” Bucky’s voice makes you shudder. Looking at him would surely make you burst into flames, from embarrassment of the last time you saw him which you can’t even think about, or from the shame of pathetically defending a man who doesn’t want anything to do with you. He doesn’t even want you here, storming up to ask why you’re in his home in the first place.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, giving Bucky a wide berth as you head for the elevators. You can’t get there fast enough, practically sprinting to press the close-door button as fast as you can.

“Wait-“

And then, the absolute worst thing happens. You almost crush the Starkpad still in your hand from clenching your fist so hard - you have to, in order to keep your hands by your sides and not in Bucky’s personal space. Because just as the doors are about to slide closed, he slips in between them and FRIDAY seals you both in. The elevator fills with Bucky Bucky Bucky, just like your heat-addled brain has been chanting at you since you stumbled into his apartment a week ago.

Bucky stares at you wide-eyed, and you stare back just the same. This could possibly be your worst nightmare come to life, especially when the elevator screeches to a halt and FRIDAY’s dulcet tones hammer your fate home.

“I appear to be having some technical difficulties,” FRIDAY says, sounding confused if an AI can sound like anything. “I’m so sorry, I’m trying to fix this. It seems someone is manually overriding my control of the elevator.”

“Nat,” you groan, in unison with Bucky. So that’s it. You’re stuck in an elevator with Bucky and are being forced to face the music, by the powers that be. The powers being Natasha, a no good meddler who is going to be in a world of pain when you get out of here. Alpha be damned.

[gothamcityangst]

In the comics, many villains said angst thing about their past and yet, the heroes like Batman did not listen. How would react Killer Croc, Bane, Mister Freeze, Poison Ivy and the Riddler to someone who cares and actually listen and heard their pain ? This person is not a hero or a therapist, and yet they choose to listen and try to understand.

This is actually a really nice ask. I appreciate this one. Truly.

Bane sees this person as a diamond in the rough. They are perhaps the only person to understand that he never had a chance at life. He was doomed from the moment he was born into the hell that was Santa Prisca prison. Most people see him as just a brute with no thinking capabilities but he's actually rather intelligent when given the opportunity to show it. He's a terribly good businessman and perhaps in another life, he could rival Bruce Wayne. He appreciates everything this person does and will try and do whatever he can to repay them.

Poison Ivy doesn't like talking about her past much. She sees it as common considering how much it happens. An older, crazed man chooses to take away the future of a bright young woman. It's a story so common it's a cliche. Her rage is unimaginable. She loves the power her transformation gave her and yet she's still pissed that it happened. She's tried to explain it to her doctors but they're mostly male so they don't really get it. Even some of the female doctors she's had don't give her sympathy. When she does get someone who willingly listens she's appreciative. She knows they can't truly understand but the sentiment is there. Her gratitude is her not turning the person into fertilizer.

Mr Freeze

Everyone knows the story but they don't listen to Victor's emotions. His worst feeling is wondering if this path was worth it. He knows he shouldn't be thinking this way but he can't help it. But he lost so much, his body, his freedom. Even then sometimes it seems his progress is so minimal it makes him want to give in. He fears if he says these thoughts out loud it'll make him a bad person. The person assures him he's not and that this whole thing is a messy situation but he's done everything he could and more for Nora. When the person listens to his woes he feels a new renewal afterwards. He's envigorated to work twice as hard knowing that if he ever feels this way again he has a dear friend he can rely on.

Killer Croc

Croc isn't much of a talker. Croc, much like Bane, was never given a single chance at life. Croc was doomed the moment he was given to his aunt. Waylon doesn't think anyone wants to listen to him. CPS never did, his teachers never did, his aunt never did. He's been taught from a young age that people won't listen to him. When he begins it's just small quips and such. He lets on very little but it conveys the pain that he went through. He doesn't feel better immediately after but he does feel like a weight has been lifted off his chest in the future.

Riddler

Riddler can talk for days but he usually has to force people to listen to him. So when someone listens to him of their own volition he assumes there's a catch to it. That the person listening has some kind of gain from it. When it turns out he doesn't he has a great appreciation for it. When someone actually listens to him he feels validated. He rambles but it's not his normal rambling, he gets personal, he overshares a lot. Some things that would definitely make the person listening want to murder the people who hurt him. By the end of it he's in such a good mood he doesn't feel the need to compulsively tell a riddle. For the next hour at least.

[possessingtheproperspirit]

🌟director's commentary🌟 on the first chapter of forget me not (especially the premise and setting!! what made you choose it?) which I've just started reading and the way you left me!! any section I'm obsessed with each bit <33

Thank you for sending this!! Hopefully this will be at least vaguely interesting a reply...

Okay, so Forget-Me-Not is based on Don't You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane, an author who writes highly entertaining/moving rom-com books. So in terms of the premise, that was already there, it was just a matter of adjusting it to fit James and Lily. I went with Coventry as the setting for the school largely because I think of Cokeworth as being midlands-ish, and there was a time when I thought I might do a flashback scene of them wandering round the cathedral (which is beautiful). I think I forgot about that plan, haha, but Coventry stuck.

A lot of how I pictured the school was based around the schools I attended in Bristol and Oxford (like James in this story, I moved when I was 16, although he handled it a lot better than I did). I wanted to convey something of the weird, twisted things that English teens seem to be hung up on, and how heightened that would be in a grammar school where everyone is already a high level of academic excellence. Luckily, my own school experiences weren't as toxic as this, but the double standard in terms of how girls in relationships were viewed vs boys in relationships was very much a thing.

I remember finding it really challenging, writing that first chapter, to not give much of James but still make him seem like someone who was integral to Lily's life at the time. He hardly has any dialogue in that chapter (I think? I haven't gone back to check, lol), a lot of what we see of him is through the prism of Lily's affection, and then the brutality of him giving her the cold shoulder at the end. It was difficult not to make him a bigger presence, but I wanted his reappearance in her life (and SPOILER him not remembering her) to have a thump of an impact on Lily, and I thought that would work better if he didn't have as much weighting in the first chapter.

@maraudersftw was so wonderful when I was writing ch1, helping me with the weighting given to Rosier, too—he was in danger, initially, of being signposted as a Big Bad quite early on, and it seemed like she was giving undue attention to what he thought of her. Although Rosier is important in the sense that he's the leader of the 'cool' kids, I wanted it to be more a general sense of Lily feeling less than and wanting to impress, rather than it being specifically about him.

PHEW that was a ramble!!

Okay, for the way you left me... I think I'll talk about the section at the work gala, where the presence of James hangs heavily over Lily even though she never actually sees him. I wanted to make sure that Ed was a viable candidate for Lily's love, that it made sense that they would get together, and why it was so hard for her to pull back from that, even when the writing was on the wall after James' return. They move around the gala as a pair, this incredible couple who impress everyone, and yet Lily can't just enjoy it, still feels torn in different directions. Sirius telling her that James is actually there is like a brick to the face—someone she loved, loves, who hasn't even come over to say hi, probably trying to make things easier for her and for her fiancee. And then dancing with Ed: I wanted to make it soft and sad and like a last dance for the couple, with him probably more aware of the approaching end to their relationship than Lily.

It wouldn't hurt as much if she didn't care about Ed—if it was just someone unimportant, it would've been easy to go back to James. Ed essentially fixed her, put her back together when she didn't think she was capable of being happy again. She stays, dancing in his arms, because she feels guilty, because she does love him, and it's not his fault that the way she loves him is dwarfed by the way she loves, and has always loved, James.

You get 10000 points if you got to the end of this post, ha! Thanks so much for sending these in ❤❤

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

𝕊𝕥𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕓𝕠𝕩

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Here is a little Luffy x reader, where they get stuck in a box,･:*:･(*////∀////*)･:*:･

I hope you like it! And enjoy!

>Admin 𝕋

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“Luffy, if you keep elbowing me in the ribs, I will kick you in the stomach!” (y/n) shouted at him, trying to shove him off of her, but to no avail. Luffy gave her a hardened stare as she pushed him against the one of the walls of the box. Of course, she would shove him though, he was practically on top of her; his body in between her legs and his arms on either side of her head. It was a very compromising and intimate position that (y/n) was not used to, especially with Luffy.

Doesn’t help that she had a major crush on him.

“Stop pushing me, it hurts!”

“You’re practically suffocating me!” (y/n) shouted in his ear, making him cringe. The black haired boy grunted when the girl hit him in the stomach. “Oh, I’m sorry!” she immediately apologized, hearing his groan of pain. 

They didn’t even know how they got in the box. One second Luffy and her were talking about what kind of meat was the best kind of meat, and the next thing they both knew, they were trapped in a box. Only Nami and Zoro were in the kitchen with them when they were excitedly conversing, but they weren’t the ones that put them in the box. No, (y/n) saw their faces when it happened and they were just as shocked as she was. But, it doesn’t help with trying to figure out who put them in such a small space.

(y/n) glanced to Luffy, who had a grimace on his face, like he was constipated. “Luffy, what’s wrong?” she asked, putting her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. He blinked and looked down at her and pouted.

“I’m hungry.” he lamented, and as if on cue his stomach growled loudly. (y/n) rolled her eyes and shifted, trying to get weight off of her tailbone. But, with doing so she accidentally made Luffy’s hand slipped and caused him to fall onto her chest. Her cheeks reddened and her breath stopped. This was seriously bad for her health, and with the fact that there wasn’t a lot of oxygen in the box to begin with, this wasn’t good. She only hoped that Luffy couldn’t notice how her heart was beating so fast. “Hey, (y/n), why is your heart beating so fast?”

Damn it.

“It’s nothing, I’m just not to used to being in small places like this. Especially with another person.” she lied smoothly, yet couldn’t look him in his big almond eyes. Luffy was being oddly perceptive right now, looking around her to see is she was hurt or had any discomfort. He actually forgot about his hunger, too, which really means something. “Luffy, seriously, I’m fine. We just really need to get out of this box.” (y/n) reiterated smacking the bottom of the cube with her palm and sighing exasperatedly. 

“How are we supposed to get out when we don’t know how we even got in.” Luffy muttered under his breath, lifting himself from his laid position and crouched over her, their noses close enough to touch. He stared into her eyes, closely watching her as she gazed back, and (y/n) wondered what he was thinking behind those dark colored irises of his. Hopefully something useful to get them out of the box. Then, he flitted his eyes from hers to the top of her head and back down, but his face held a perplexing expression, one of his eyebrows raised.

“Why are you making a face like that? Did you find a way out?” she questioned, curious as to what his face was trying to convey. He shook his head as if in confusion. 

“I don’t really understand it.” he groaned out, his lower lip jutting out a bit. Cute, she thought to herself. “It says we have to connect our...hearts? What does that even mean, someone can’t connect hearts, that’ll kill them!” he exclaimed. The girl rolled her eyes and huffed out an exhausted breath.

“It’s probably a figure of speech, Luffy.” she told him. He looked down to her and was about to ask what that meant, but saw something else written, more to the strange writing that was written on the wood. He roughly shoved her head out of the way to see what it said, causing her to yelp out in pain. “Ow!”

“There’s more! It says...To connect two true hearts, they must touch lips with mutual love. Whatever that means. Hey, (y/n), do you know what that means?” Luffy asked, oblivious to her sudden combustion of humiliation. 

Oh, she knew what it meant alright. She’s been imagining herself kissing Luffy for so long now, and giving up each and every time she thought of it, because she knew he would never see her that way. He’s too dense for things such as love. 

But when he was helping Boa, he knew when she was trying to pursue him romantically. Maybe Luffy knew about romantic love, but just didn’t want anything to do with it. It doesn’t help right now, though, they both needed to get outside of the box before they die from lack of oxygen.

She was going to regret this, she just knew it.

“Luffy, do you love me?” she posed the question clearly, an ache finding her way into her heart and chest. She watched as he blinked and peered down at her, not saying a word, most likely trying to understand her sudden inquiry. 

“Well, yeah, of course I love you!” he answered, a big grin etched onto his face. She chuckled her head; typical Luffy always so cheerful when it came to his friends and loved ones. 

“I love you, too.” she murmured, just barely audible for Luffy to hear before she took him by the neck and pulled him close. When their lips connected, (y/n) felt warm and right. Of course, it tasted like meat, but it was just so Luffy that she didn’t care. Their lips were a perfect match, but she didn’t move or deepen the kiss, not knowing how Luffy would react. It was nice, it felt so nice, being so close to him, kissing him. She only hoped he was okay with it.

And just as she moved away, lips parting, the box surrounding them opened up at the top, the walls falling down and just disappearing, and it seemed it deposited them on the main deck. (y/n) didn’t dare move, but wanted to know what his reaction was. When she looked up to his face, she saw his eyes were wide and blank, his mouth just a little bit open and his eyebrows practically up to his hairline. He looked shocked to say the least.

And not really pleased. With a withering sigh, her heart breaking minutely, (y/n) crawled out from under him and stood up, patting her pants for non existent dust and looked around to see it was void of any of the other crew members. She was about to walk away so that she could go cry in her hammock, but a hand gripped her wrist tightly, stopping her. The girl turned her head to see it was none other than Luffy, his face still expressing his shock.

The boy stood up slowly, keeping his hold on her wrist and stepped close to (y/n), very much invading her boundaries. “What was that?” he muttered to her. She didn’t really understand the question, but answered either way. 

“A kiss, Luffy. To get out of the box.” she responded, shuffling in her place, intimidated by his intense stare.

“Was it just that?”

“Luffy I don’t understand--”

“Do you love me?” he interrupted, his breath shaky. She didn’t have to think about it, not at all. She loved Luffy so so much and she could shout it from the hilltops if she weren’t at sea. 

“Yes, I love you.” she whispered, Luffy coming ever closer to her, their noses touching. 

And Luffy did the unthinkable. Something she never thought he would ever do or reciprocate.

He kissed her back, fully, on the lips with all of his vigor. It was like how he fought. Vulgar, with no grace or tact, but protective and sweet, innocent in a way. It was only but a brief kiss before he moved away and grinned from ear to ear, sliding his hand from her wrist to her fingers and interlocking their fingers together.

“I love you too!”