#I wanted to work on more art today but because I napped for so long

[harrysmimi]

Cuddly Mood

Synopsis: One where Harry comes home from work to his girl being clingy. He ain't complaining.

More of my work

Harry had told his girl to not wait for him for dinner as he would be late, and that she should to go to bed. Basically not wait up for him as he got work.

He was working late at night on some new music. Not essentially planning to write a whole new album just yet, he just wanted to het these new out and into production and see how things go from there for him and his new future projects.

YN understood where he came from. She's an artist too after all. She sometimes want to spend all day and night, in her studio painting and work on this one piece of art which would not budge off her head until it was out. She's had those days and Harry's always been respectful and supportive of her.

But she wanted to be selfish today and hold him back and cuddle him all day. Well, she could barely bring herself to do that because he was so excited about this new song he had in his mind. Or melody? Or a rhythm? Or a beat? She doesn't quite know how music works.

This afternoon Harry got ready to leave for studio after he'd returned from gym, all showered up and dressed up. He wore a pair black washed jeans a simple white tshirt, which she likes to steal from him some times. He took a hoodie with him incase he's cold, which he always is at the studio.

He's been going to gym religiously now, so he's been more muscley and big, he's still his shy self which makes him like her giant human cuddle bear. Especially with his instincts of him wanting to hold her and make her feel safe. Oh boy, did that make her all mushy!

She just wanted cling on him all day and take a big fat nap. But she had to let him go for few hours.

But she still deserves his undivided attention, especially when he's back from a long tour and will be going back very soon.

She's a night owl, Harry knows it. So when he came back home to her place, he found her dusting her furniture around. She's like her cat, who likes to zoom around at three in the morning.

And it was three in the morning when he came back!

"Hi, angel!" He chirps as he locked the door behind him. "What are you doing up so late baby?" Dropping his stuff on the sofa he walked upto her, snaking his arms around her tummy he pulled her close to him, placing a chaste of kisses on her neck and back of her head. She melted in his embrace.

Exactly what she craved all day!

"I'm not sleepy." She mumbled.

"You need to fix that sleep schedule of yours, angel, it's not healthy." He expressed his concerns, "no coffee for you after three in the afternoon!"

"Hey!" She whined.

"Yes!" He argued back. "You wanna go to bed now?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

Harry was changing out of his clothes. He took off his hoodie and shirt, and got rid of his pants.

On rare nights his boxers and basketball shorts stayed on and today was one of them. His girl doesn't mind, there is nothing she haven't seen. He doesn't feel insecure around her anymore and does she, which is amazing!

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I have your hoodie?" She asked.

"Yeah, which one do you want baby?" He asked, changing into a different pair of boxers.

"The one you wore today?"

"Aren't you going to be hot, angel?" He enquired, because it was getting warmer and he doesn't want her to layer up.

"No, I'll just wear that and nothing underneath." She explained.

"You sure about that?" He asked, just to be sure.

"Mhmm."

"Alright strip down!" Harry smirked cheekily. He was all done dressing half decent, he took two strads towards where she was stood in the bathroom, applying her moisturiser.

Her sleep shirt caught onto her earrings as she was taking it off. "Ouch!"

"Be careful there!" He stepped in and carefully untangled the shirt from her earring. "You okay?"

"Yeah!" She nodded. Harry smiled and carefully pulled the neckhole of his hoodie (which is now both of theirs to share!) over her head, before his hands travelled behind her back to unhook her bra. He slipped his off but not before taking the opportunity to have a quick feel of her breasts, run his hands over her delicious tummy rolls towards her hips. "Stop it tickles!"

"Yeah?" He teased her, tickling her more under her breasts.

"Stop!" She laughed holding onto his wrists tightly. He stopped and helped her put her arms through the sleeves.

"My favourite!" He commented on her wearing her "cute set" of underwear, which were a pair of pastel green granny panties with french fries on them.

They're adorable okay!

"Stop tickling me, I've missed you enough all day!" She pouted feeling his hands wander down to her bum, trying his best to tickle her.

He gasped, "I need to make up for it, don't I?" With that he threw her over his shoulder as he brought her back out to their room and carefully placed her on their shared bed. "Why didn't you call me then if you missed me so much?"

"I did not felt like wanting to disturb you while you worked." She explained as he peppered her face with sloppy and wet kisses.

"You can never disturb me!" He exclaimed quietly, "could have worked on that song later. Next time just tell me, okay? I'd prefer to spend time with you!"

"Mhmm! I will." She agreed, "now kiss me?"

"Gladly!" With that he placed his mouth on hers, giving her a tender kiss. "I've missed you too today! Wrote a song about you and us."

"You did?" She was so surprised even though he tells her when a song is inspired by her. It still manages to surprise her, thinking she can be a muse to someone's art when it's always been the other way around for her. He always finds new things about to sing in his songs.

Where as he's always been muse of her art!

"Yeah, wrote about how much I love you, and how I wanna be with you for as long as you want me!"

"I want you forever!"

"Forever, yeah?" He rested his forehead on hers.

The next few minutes he spent talking about the song and loving on her until she fell asleep, snuggled close to his bare chest.

He'd never enjoyed being a big spoon in his life!

......................................................................

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[cheriden]

「 txt in kindergarten 」 。。。

𐙚 SOOBIN

• Passes by his friends’ houses to collect them, walking together to school • Pouts whenever someone else takes something he’s set his eyes on but doesn’t say anything about it. He tells himself it’s fine, as long as they're happy • Only brings essentials to school, but overpacks on situational things he might need like band-aids and bug lotion/patches — “What if I get bitten by a THOUSAND mosquitoes today?!” • Loves to play with house toys, such as kitchenware with fancy wooden stoves. A bit stressed when someone comes along and plays beside him.  • At the playground he tries to conquer the seesaw. Unfortunately he is afraid the person on the other end might not let him down or catapult him into the air, so he just sits on it with nobody on the other side. • Lunchbox has every food group, sometimes even gets dessert when he’s behaved enough. Eats the longest because he may have to force himself to eat whatever he doesn’t like. • Favorite time of the day is nap time! Everyone is quiet and he gets to sleep, no complaints here

𐙚 YEONJUN

• In charge of looking both ways when crossing the road, grips hard when holding hands. • Overpacks toys and stationary, but still capable of forgetting something mildly important.  • Loves to play with building blocks and matching games/puzzles. • At the playground he’s at the top of the slide, ruling over his minions and most likely hogging it. • Likes to trade lunches with other kids, particular about the quality to quantity ratio. Expert at haggling. — “I’m taking more from you because my dish is harder to prepare and has more ingredients! Maybe if you give me a piece of your sides, I’ll consider it.” • Favorite time of the day is recess! Likes mingling with other kids, there is no set agenda so he could talk about or do anything

𐙚 BEOMGYU

• Strays and wanders away from the walking group, sometimes gets lost. • Things are heavily personalized, same unsure handwriting that says "beomgyu" on every item he owns, and as much as possible they’re all the same color or have the same character.  • Erasers are the gel fruit ones that get lost (or eaten) • Loves to play with very select plushies, may throw a tantrum if he doesn’t have it with him • At the playground he can be found in sandboxes, making castles and pretending to be a monster. • Steps on other kids’ work in the process. Sometimes it’s an accident, most times it's intentional — “I didn’t destroy your castle because it’s better than mine, which is a lie. I destroyed it because I’m godzilla.” • Brags about all of the snacks and candies his parents gave him (or what he takes from the cupboard) • Favorite time of the day is arts class! A subject where he can be as loud and messy as he wants for the sake of whatever project he’s making that day.

𐙚 TAEHYUN

• Has a map in his bag in case they forget the route • Loves to talk about his surroundings, eyes glistening when others ask follow up questions • Always asks questions in class, he’s so attentive !! • Complete stationery set, including a cool pencil case with a built in sharpener. Will let others borrow but will ask why they need it, asking every other second if he can have it back because he’s afraid they’ll lose it or keep it • Loves to play with interactive books, pop-ups and especially ones where you can feel the texture of things. • At the playground he loves being on the swing sets, telling other children to wait their turn or when 5 minutes have passed to let others have a chance on the swing. — “Your time was up two minutes ago! Why am I still here? I’m the reason you get turns in the first place!” • Always eats whatever his parents have prepared for him, boasts about being healthy and outliving everyone else. • Favorite time of the day is math class! Since math class is technically indirect and simple arithmetics, such as adding apples, sometimes it’s easy to cheat (count on his fingers)

𐙚 HUENINGKAI

• Stops to look at all the fauna and flora, squealing and telling those around him. My little arthropod lover! • Extensive art set that gets everyone's attention, other kids love to borrow from him and he can be kind of a pushover. Unfortunately, they end up losing them. • Loves to play with anything colorful that makes sound, such as a rainbow xylophone • At the playground he loves the roundabout, but he’s too shy to get on. He patiently waits for someone to invite him to ride, so instead he pushes the others around. • Tries to eat his lunch quickly in case someone might ask him to share. He will, but he will sulk a lot. It was prepared for him! • Favorite time of the day is music class! Generally this is a time where everyone just makes noise, but most eyes are on him when he learns a new toy instrument. He doesn’t like the attention, but it’s not so bad either. — “This? Oh, I guess it’s just easy for me. wait, sorry! I didn't mean to brag.... When I want to hear a sound, my hands move on my own to do it! Teach you? Um I’m not really good at that… But sure!”

i saw that pic of them in the unifs and imagined little tubatu crossing the street hand in hand :(

thank you for reading! feedback, reblogs and tags appreciated♡

[makeyoumine69]

Till Death Do Us Part (Chapter Five)

PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader; [no y/n]

SUMMARY: Some of the answers can only be found on the line between life and death.

CONTAINS: Drug use, near death experiences, swearing, angst, toxic behavior, NSFW art, misogyny, hurt/comfort, Patrick Bateman is a warning himself.

WORDS: 4.4k

A/N: Sorry guys for the long wait, I was in the hospital, but now I feel better and hope to get back to my writing form. Thank you so much for your support and comments, I love you all!

LINKS: [MASTERLIST]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [AO3].

Sighing tiredly, Patrick quickly ran his hand over his face. "Because you told your... 'co-worker' that I'm aggressive." He said quietly. "You can explain why you were absent without being so...so specific. Look, if people think I'm...aggressive, they're going to do a wellness check. And if you keep screaming and crying and acting hysterical, I could get in trouble. Do you really want me to get in trouble?" The man straightened up slightly and furrowed his brow. He felt a deep hatred for you, one that could only be resolved with complete violence. But he held himself still. "How can I trust you to go to work? After your behavior? Hmmm?" His grip on you tightened. "God, I can't deal with you. Do your parents know how...pathetic you are? I'm the least scary thing in this fucking city, honey. I hope you realize that."

Scowling, you yanked your wrist roughly from his grip, rubbing the spot where the dark bruise was sure to bloom. "Leave your cheesy pet names for Courtney, okay?" you hissed, getting up from the bed, ignoring the way the hem of your long shirt was pulled up. "Vincent's picking me up soon, I'll be late tonight because I have to... overwork for missing my shift yesterday," your tired gasp echoed through his opulent bedroom. "Have fun, but...if you're going to bring some hookers here today, you'd better tell me now, because I don't want..." you paused, crossing your arms. "I don't want to be a part of that depraved shit..."

Bateman let you go and stepped back. He inhaled slowly through his nostrils and closed his eyes to calm himself. "Okay...okay…I'm sorry…just…you're stressing me out." He sighed, suddenly exhausted. It was easier to deal with Evelyn because she didn't fucking live with him. Sure, she was a chatterbox, but at least she didn't notice anything he did. He scowled. "I'm not going to hire anyone. I'm going to...take a nap...or something." Patrick said, rubbing his eyes. "Besides, it's not depraved. Everyone does it. Even women. Better get used to it." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Also, wear some fucking clothes, huh? If you're going to act like a jealous bitch around Courtney, then have some dignity, you know?"

A wave of anger washed over you at his last remark. For a brief moment, you stood in the doorway, considering whether to stab him back. "Uh, you keep saying how pathetic I am, but you...you're stuck in a situation where you're marrying a woman you don't like because your mommy said you had to," you chuckled and looked back at him. "While the woman you LIKE," you dragged out the last word. "Is about to marry another guy, so you can just be an errand boy while her fiance is away on business," you licked your suddenly dry lips briefly before picking up your clothes and opening the bedroom door. "Isn't that pathetic, Bateman?"

Huffing angrily, the man stared at you, his arms crossed and his eyes widened slightly at your outburst. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're in this situation too, aren't you?" He scowled. "Also, for your information, I don't like Courtney. She's just a great lay. Her fiance is a fucking queer anyway, so, y'know, that won't last long." He ranted, angrily following her to the door. "I'm not pathetic! You are! I have more money than your whole fucking family, sweetheart—I could BUY you! But, oh, who would want that? Who would want a fat-headed, no-good brat in their house?" He was angry now. Bateman grabbed your books off the table and shoved them into your arms, then pushed you out the front door, not caring if you were ready to change or not. "Tell your family the marriage is off. Tell them you've pushed me beyond my breaking point and I'm doing everything in my power not to break your fucking neck right now!" Patrick said this calmly, but there was a burning hatred in his eyes. Then he slammed the door and locked it, pressing his back against it.

When you heard the lock click, you couldn't believe your luck. 'Finally...finally I did it!' You closed your eyes and let out a sigh of relief, hugging your books closer to your chest as you realized you hadn't put on your panties. At first you wanted to knock on the door and ask him to let you take your things, but then you decided that it would only make you look pathetic and you would never give him that kind of pleasure. At least you managed to put on the casual dress you usually wore when you went out. But the lack of underwear made things a little more difficult.

After a few minutes, you left the American Gardens Building and walked down the street to the phone booth, where you dialed your family's home number and thanked God that your mother picked up the phone. "Hey, Mom," you murmured in a shaky voice. "I don't have much time, but...I'm sorry for ruining everything...I know how important this marriage was to our family, but...I couldn't go on like this...it's all over now." And with that, you hung up without even giving your mother a chance to respond when you noticed Vincent's car pulling up to the street.

Your sudden call was like rain on a sunny day, almost giving your mother a heart attack—Mrs. Rice pressed a hand to her chest before asking her maid to bring her some water and a sedative. Breathing heavily, the old lady dialed Mrs. Bateman's number, hoping that Patrick's mother would give her some information about what the hell had happened. When the beeping finally stopped and the old woman heard her friend's voice, she relaxed for a moment before beginning to speak. "Linda, hi, it's Janet," she swallowed and tugged on the phone cord. "My daughter just called me...she said the wedding is off...do you know anything about it?"

Linda lay in her hospital bed staring at the ceiling. She'd been in the sanatorium for years now, and it was easy for her to entertain herself. Time passed quickly now. She jumped when she heard the phone ring and sat up. She picked it up with trembling fingers. "Hello?" She asked tentatively before hearing a familiar voice. "Oh, dear - well... I didn't hear anything, but I'll... I'll call him. I'll put you on the other line, Janet." She clicked a button, then punched in Patrick's number and waited patiently.

Meantime, annoyed and stressed out, Patrick poured himself a J&B. He felt great though, as if an impossible weight had just been lifted from his shoulders. He swallowed it down and walked into the living room, glancing down at the phone as it began to ring. He picked it up and rested it on his shoulder as he walked around. His elation was momentarily dampened when he heard his mother's voice. "Look, Mother—the woman is a lunatic." He moved to lie down in his bed. "She's an ugly pig and I'm really offended that you would set me up with her. There are... thousands of other women in New York who are richer, more attractive, and...well...better than her. Okay? I'm 27 years old. I can make my own decisions." Bateman went to his closet and opened a drawer. He blinked when he saw a small baggie of what looked like cocaine. He picked it up between his fingers and smiled to himself. "Listen, I'll call you later." Patrick hung up the phone and set it on the side of the bed before opening the baggie. He poured some on his AmEx card and snorted, blinking a few times. It was...very strong. Without even thinking, he spread the rest on his teeth with his finger and lay back, closing his eyes.

The day at the hospital had been so fucking horrible, starting with not having any underwear—you couldn't just walk around like that, so you had to find a solution. Thank God you had left some of your clothes in the staff room, so after you changed into the fresh underwear and then into the medical uniform you started to feel so much better, although it was so hard to forget the ride with Vincent because you had to hold your legs together every damn second.

After the work day was over, you praised yourself for not getting upset about the whole situation that had happened in the morning—it was the right decision to get him off, despite all the feelings you had for this man. 'He doesn't exist anymore,' you sighed as you waited for the taxi, the heavy medical kit in your hand. Since you had decided to return to your family's house, you wanted to collect all your things, including those that were trapped in Bateman's apartment. If he didn't let you in, you would tell your mother that all the jewelry she had given you was gone forever.

A taxi ride was quite short, maybe it felt short, but as you stepped out of the elevator on the 11th floor, your senses suddenly warned you—something was definitely wrong. You walked slowly down the clean hallway to Patrick's front door when you noticed it was open. 'What the hell?' You tensed as you remembered how meticulous Bateman was about security. With careful, quiet movements, you opened the door and stepped inside, soon to find an unfamiliar woman in the living room, looking for something as she went through Bateman's CD collection.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?" You yelled, hoping Patrick was nearby. 

The woman stalled before slowly turning around, which helped you notice Bateman's Rolex, his gold cufflinks, and some cash in her hands. "Wait...I...I didn't call an ambulance!"

Frowning, you looked down at your medical uniform before hissing. "I'm not the ambulance...but I'll be a lot worse than that if you don't put all that stuff in its place and leave!"

The unknown woman, who was probably a hooker, sobbed but obeyed and put all the stuff on the coffee table, her hands visibly shaking. "Okay, okay, I'll go, but I... I didn't kill him!"

"What?!"

"I didn't kill him...he just fainted and..." the woman cried, grabbing her head. "I didn’t do it…I swear!"

With that, the hooker stormed out of Bateman's apartment, but that was the last thing you had to worry about after what she had said. Nervously biting your lower lip, you quickly ran into the bedroom to see Patrick lying absolutely naked on the bed, his skin sticky, covered in sweat and...his cum? 

"Patrick!" You called out to him, lifting his pale face. 

(Patrick and Becca art by my gorgeous fairy @anyarlly).

When he didn't respond, you opened his eyes—the pupil was so dilated it was obvious he'd OD'd. 'Did that bitch do this to him?' you thought briefly before rushing to grab the medical kit and find the antidote. 'Stay fucking professional,' you muttered to yourself, not letting the panic get the better of you. As soon as you grabbed the packet of naloxene, you returned to Bateman and sat on top of him, spraying two sprays of the antidote into each of his nostrils. "Patrick, Patrick, can you hear me?" you gently slapped his face to help him regain his senses. Breathing heavily, you began to stress when you realized that Patrick would probably have to be taken to the hospital, but since he had overdosed, that would cause him so much trouble. Not to mention when you noticed that his breathing became so shallow and weak that it scared the hell out of you. 

"Oh, no…Patrick, breathe, breathe you bastard!" You shouted at him and before you started the artificial respiration you also took a dose of naloxene to prevent yourself from overdosing in case you accidentally came into contact with any drugs Patrick was taking. As your lips covered his, you closed his nose and began to inhale the oxygen into his lungs, praying that it would help.

Patrick's vision was dark, his consciousness trapped in the deepest recesses of his mind. All he could remember was taking the drugs and hiring a hooker. Maybe they had sex, but Patrick couldn't remember. He felt cold. Then hot. Then cold again. He wanted to scream, to rip the skin from his flesh, to run outside wearing only a coat and let it fly behind him like a cape, but he couldn't move at all. A spark of light came into his mind. Then another. His breath was short and shallow and he felt like he could just die right now, but the light gave him hope. Something to hold on to. He felt air being pumped into his lungs. Suddenly his eyes opened. His arms desperately flew up and wrapped around you, needing more air. When the man remembered how to breathe properly, he let go of you and closed his eyes, which were bloodshot and sore from the drugs.

If you ever dreamed how your first kiss with Patrick would be, you would never have imagined it would be like this. Panting, you quickly wiped your mouth, feeling a little dizzy. 'Damn, he probably rubbed the coke right into his gum! What a reckless idiot!'  You took a few deep breaths before getting up from Patrick's weak body. "I... I'll get you a shot, you'll feel better," you mumbled and went back to the medical kit, then grabbed a vial and a needle. "Stay with me, Patty," a sudden rush of tenderness coursed through your small frame as you ran a finger along his pale cheek. "You'll be fine," you hummed, taking his hand carefully to find the vein on it. "If your condition doesn't stabilize in fifteen minutes, we'll have to go to the hospital," you closed your eyes for a second and exhaled as you heard Patrick's painful cough, your heart bleeding from the scene. "Just stay with me..." You begged before disinfecting the spot where you were about to make an injection.

The man was panting heavily, his other hand over his heart, which was beating rapidly. He blinked before opening his eyes fully, looking up at you with an unfocused gaze. Nothing was really being processed. His hand tensed from the shot, his veins protruding slightly through the thin skin of his hand. Before he knew it, he was sobbing. Tears rolled down his cheeks and his shoulder shook as a small whimper escaped his lips. Just a few minutes ago, he was teetering on the edge of life and death—and now he was here. 'Thank you . ' Bateman couldn't quite see your face, but your soft, silken voice helped him recognize you. He gripped your hand tightly before loosening his grip to something more comfortable for you. "Don't... don't leave me here..." Patrick choked out, looking up at you tearfully.

His suddenly pleading voice stirred something in your chest, something you tried to bury, but no matter how hard you tried, that something was alive, longing for the man beneath you. "Hey, hey," you pressed your palm against his cheek. "I'm not going to leave you, Patty, you're going to be okay, I promise," you noted the time, you only had fifteen minutes and if the injection didn't help, you would have to think about the possibility of taking him to the hospital. "Patrick, I know that you and your family always get medical treatment at some elite clinic, is that right?" you asked suddenly, adjusting the pillow underneath him to make him more comfortable. "If the medicine doesn't work, you will need medical treatment that can only be provided in a hospital. Do you understand?"

Patrick breathed heavily, his heart slowing slightly as he stabilized himself. The injection made him feel a lot better, thankfully, but he was still scared. He didn't think about anything but not letting you go. He felt that he needed you at this moment. "Y-Yes... I understand..." He said softly. Bateman moved up slightly and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you down to lie with him. Then, the man wrapped his other arm around your back, burying his head in your neck as he sought comfort. Fuzzy memories from a few hours ago began to return to his mind. Him yelling at you and kicking you out. He sobbed again, clenching his hands into fists. "Oh God..." he choked out. "I'm sorry...please don't go...don't go..." He mumbled, repeating 'I'm sorry' in a hushed tone.

(Patrick art by my amazing queen @somnolenthour).

Paralyzed, you tried to hold your breath and not burst into tears at his sudden unraveling. "I'm here, I won't leave you," you knew his behavior was the result of the side effects of the antidote you had given him, and as soon as he regained his senses— he would forget everything. And that spurred you to go down to Patrick's trembling lips and seal them with yours. It was not even a kiss, just flesh touching flesh. "I love you, Patty," you murmured against his mouth before embracing him and pulling him closer so that his nose could nuzzle the soft skin of your neck. "I always have and I always will, since the day we met, two little kids," you chuckled sadly, on the verge of tears. "You should stop living this life, you deserve much better," your words were more like a mantra, as if you were trying to convince yourself. "Besides... I know Jean cares about you, maybe you should give her a chance?" A small, telltale tear slid down your cheek, but you brushed it away and let it fall onto your medical uniform. 

"No." Patrick said slowly. "I... I don't... I don't want Jean. I want…"

"I'll give you some sedatives and you'll sleep like a baby...after that you'll feel refreshed, I promise." You tried to shush him but he continued.

"I want...you..." Patrick pulled away to look at you, his eyes still bloodshot and filled with tears. He seemed to panic slightly when you mentioned sedatives. The man shook his head quickly and licked his lips to rehydrate them.

His sudden protest against taking any sedatives made you stop and look at him with unspoken concern. "Shhh, it's okay," you cooed to him, but when Patrick put his hands on your breasts, which he probably did accidentally, it almost broke the resistance you had meticulously built up all this time. "All right, no sedatives," you conceded, looking down at his palms holding your breasts, but you didn't try to take them away, thinking that maybe he was relaxing in such a depraved way. "Tell me...tell me what do you want instead of sedatives? I want you to sleep and rest."

"Just…stay..." Bateman murmured tiredly, closing his eyes. He wrapped one leg around your hip, almost trapping you on the bed with him

In another situation, you would feel like the happiest person in the world, but now all you felt was sadness and compassion for the man who had trapped you in his strong arms. "Okay, okay," you kept your tone as sweet as possible, wanting nothing more than for him to fall asleep and feel better. "After you fall asleep and wake up, everything will be back to normal," you murmured, the pain in your voice undeniable. "But I want you to remember this—please don't do drugs, don't risk your life," you quickly ran your finger along his flushed cheek. "I don't want to see you like this, I want you to be happy," you continued whispering, your words lulling Bateman to sleep. "When you wake up, you won't remember everything you told me or the way you held me," as you watched him close his eyes, you sighed and rolled onto your back, quickly kicking off your medical shoes and looking up at the white ceiling above. "How unfortunate that I will remember all of this…"

Patrick nodded slowly, hearing what you said but not really listening. It was hard to really listen when his head was buzzing. The man closed his eyes and breathed slowly, keeping his breathing steady to bring his body back to its usual state. He planted a few soft kisses on your shoulder as his face pressed closer to your body. Before he knew it, consciousness melted away and he was asleep. He didn't dream, as usual, nor did he stir. His grip on you never loosened, and the only evidence that he was still alive was the soft breathing and the gentle smile on his face.

A few hours later, you didn't even notice falling asleep either, but the sudden thunderstorm outside didn't let you get much rest, thankfully it didn't wake Patrick. Slowly, you slipped out of his arms and after tucking him into the blanket, you quietly sneaked into the living room to finally take off your medical uniform, leaving yourself in a tight top and shorts. Then you checked that the front door was locked and that everything was in its place. 'Fuck, should I tell him that the hooker tried to steal his Rolex and some other stuff?' You wondered as you went into the kitchen and turned on the light. Then you opened the fridge to see what you could cook for Bateman, because when he woke up he would feel a terrible hunger as a side effect of the medicine you had injected him with. Looking through the stuff in the fridge, you found some vegetables, meat, and soon you were cooking some pasta for him, although you expected he would not like it since you were not a chef from Dorsia. 'Whatever, if he doesn't like it, I'll eat it myself.' As you strolled past the bedroom to see if Patrick was still asleep, you caught a glimpse of the coffee table and noticed his Walkman and a pair of headphones. Without a second thought, you took everything and came back into the kitchen, now listening to what Patrick had been listening to the last time, and that was TOTO's tape. 'Oh God, I love this band.' You chuckled softly and mixed the ingredients in the pan, moving rhythmically to the Hold The Line song.

Meanwhile, Bateman let out a small whimper as he felt the lack of warmth in his arms. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times, his eyes still slightly sore. Frowning, he groaned and rubbed his eyes, slowly getting to his feet. He noticed that he was naked, but didn't bother to put anything on. A bit clumsily, the man walked from his bedroom to the kitchen, the light hurting his eyes and making him squint. He saw your silhouette behind the counter. The drugs had worn him down, but something inside him wanted to be close to you again. He couldn't remember much about what happened last night, but for some reason he didn't feel the same anger towards you. Patrick wasn't even angry that you were back in his apartment. With a smug grin, he walked over and wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning down to rest his head on your shoulder. He took the Walkman off your head. "If you're going to use my Walkman—at least use the cheap one."

"Patrick...how are you feeling?" You asked before a loud clap of thunder rang out, scaring you a bit. 'Does he remember that I'm afraid of thunderstorms?' you wondered as you turned to face him, even now he looked so perfect, so desirable, so...so Patty.

Slightly confused, Patrick seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled his arms away, taking a step back. He moved behind the counter to hide his naked form. Of course, he would show it at every opportunity, but he felt more vulnerable being completely naked like this. "Uh, I feel fine." The man scratched his head. He couldn't remember anything from last night and he felt a bit dizzy. A terrible feeling, really. He looked up at the ceiling as the thunder rumbled and noticed your frightened reaction. A flash of memory flashed through his mind—him as a boy with a girl about his age—maybe a little younger—huddled together in his parents' house during a thunderstorm. Bateman inhaled sharply, startled by the sudden nostalgia, and began to turn around. The man pulled down the blinds on all the nearby windows, then walked over to his stereo. He picked out a Huey Lewis CD, his favorite, and put it on. Patrick tapped his hands on the stereo to the rhythm of the song before grabbing his Bijan robe from the top of the couch. He wrapped it around his body and walked back to you, standing behind but not touching you. "Uh, by the way...you can...you know... you can still stay here..." He stopped and looked over your shoulder. "What are you doing?"

'No, Patty, I can't stay here.' You were about to say when Patrick asked about the food. "It's... uh... it's pasta bolognese, I hope I pronounced it right," you looked at him, noticing his skeptical look. "Antidote always makes people hungry after a nap, I checked the fridge and when I didn't find anything specific I thought I'd make this," you turned to the pan, the smell was really amazing, though you were sure Patrick wasn't impressed. "If you don't want to eat it, I will, and then you can throw it in the garbage, I won't be offended." With that, you yawned tidily and covered the pan, trying not to focus on Bateman's drilling gaze behind your back.

Patrick chuckled slightly. "Well...I'm sure it won't be Barcadia quality, but it seems hard to mess up pasta." He squinted at you, then sniffed the air. It smelled heavenly. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, crossing his arms. He almost complimented you, but stopped himself. His reverie was interrupted when he heard the word 'antidote'. "Uh, antidote?" He asked suspiciously, moving closer to you. "What... antidote? Did something happen last night?"

You accidentally burned your finger on the hot pan, you squealed, bringing it to your lips to blow on it. "Uh, I..." you turned to face him, noticing how close Bateman was standing to you—dangerously close. 

'I should tell him everything, shouldn't I?'

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[fawnnpaws]

was gonna send this last night but i clonked tf out……….. but. just thinking of. the boys snuggling. fucking. kissing. being so clingy. ur boys!!!!! esp after like… the sub/dom drop stuff…… sigh. they love each other………… it makes u wanna scream and cry and throw up but like in a good way :)

GAHHH cuteness agression is so real with them <333 i have another ask about this lil sub/dom drop au that im gonna answer today too but yeah YEEAHHH they’re so fucking sweet with each other, especially once everything gets kinda worked out again. you find them curled up with each other all the time, usually after long practices, both passed out - patrick on his side with his arms wrapped tight around art and art on his stomach with his leg slung over patrick’s waist, just fully tangled together and drooling on each other in their sleep. it takes everything in you not to squeeze their angelic, relaxed faces because they’re just so fucking cute. sometimes you do, sometime the need is too great and you flop on top of them so you can cover their faces in kisses. they don’t even pretend they don’t like being woken up, they just open their arms and tuck you between them so they can sleepily grind themselves against you until you’re all too horny to keep napping.

sometimes you’ll wake up in the morning to them leaning over you and kissing each other. they can never share a single kiss, they always get carried away, so you’ll blink your eyes awake and smile at the two of them trying to eat each other above you. watching them together makes your heart swell and your stomach flip, you can’t help but shift and squeeze your legs together as your poor cunt starts to ache at the sight of them so lost in each other. of course, the second they realize you’re awake they’re on you, kissing and pawing at every sliver of exposed skin they can find, practically tearing your clothes off to touch more. it’s a toss up on who’s getting fucked in those situations - a lot of the time it’s you, but sometimes your boys will keep you under them while they fuck each other, so they can touch and tease you until you’re begging for more.

they love you just as much as they love each other and as much as you love seeing them be so clingy with each other - constantly touching, kissing, fucking each other like rabbits when you’re not there to mediate them… sending you videos of them fucking each other like rabbits when you’re not there because they want you to come home - you can’t help but preen when they cling to you too.

[system-of-a-feather]

Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Blind date (Tierna Davidson x Reader)

This is barely edited and I'm not sure if a museum like this even exists, but use your imagination. Hope you enjoy :)

Words: 2.5k

"Oi dumbass, get up," Tobin called from the bathroom before throwing a shoe at me when I didn't respond.

"Fuck off Tobin." I growled trying to go back to my nap.

"No, you have to get up."

"Why? There is literally nothing happening today."

"You have a date in a couple of hours that you need to plan."

I sat up, looking at her like she was crazy. A date was the last thing on my mind at the moment, the last thing I wanted to do, "What? With who?"

"You'll find out later."

Tobin didn't know who I had feelings for, but she knew they existed. Normally I would tell Tobin everything, but seeing as the person was her teammate, I decided against it for the time being,  "Tobin what the hell? You know I have feelings for someone, why the hell would you set me up?"

"Because you've been pining after this person for almost a year without any thought of asking her out. Either you ask her out or you go on this date."

"I don't want to do either. One will make things awkward and the other will make me lead a poor girl on."

She rolled her eyes, "Suck it up, it's one date. You'll live."

"How do I even know where to take her? I have no plan, I know nothing about her, not even her name. You could have given me more then a couple hours notice."

"She likes art, museums, photography, music and Italian food. That should help, you have to make a real effort on this. As for more warning, that would have given you more chance to make up an excuse to get out of it."

There was no getting out of this. Tobin was stubborn just like me, there was no way she was going to cancel and this mystery women was going to show up regardless. It wasn't the mystery girls fault, so with that little bit of information I started to make a plan, "Okay fine. Tell her to wear something nice, but casual." 

There was only an hour and a half until my date arrived, she was coming here first so Tobin could introduce us. I quickly made a call to one of my friends who happened to work at a nice Italian restaurant, there was a very slim chance of getting a reservation this late. Thankfully, my friend managed to come through and got the last reservation at her place.

After showering I got dressed changed into black skinny jeans, a maroon long sleeve button up, my black leather jacket and Chelsea ankle boots. As much as I didn't want this date I was going to put some effort in, after all it wasn't her idea so why take it out on her. Once dressed I moved onto my hair. My hair was shoulder length, red dyed hair. I was never one to put effort into my hair so I just went with a simple braid. There was a knock on the door as I was half way through the braid. Tobin yelled for me, "Hold your horses, I'll be out in a minute." I quickly finished the braid before heading back into the room. To my utter surprise, Tierna was standing next to Tobin. She was wearing light blue skinny jeans, a relaxed white blouse and a casual black blazer. 

Tierna was the girl I had developed feelings for. Being team photographer, I had spent a fair amount of time with her and the team which had led to many friendships formed. Though my feelings had developed fairly quickly which had stopped me from building much of a friendship with Tierna out of fear and awkwardness. I didn't know if Tobin knew about my feelings for Tierna, but it would be one hell of a coincidence if she didn't. 

I cleared my throat realising I had been staring for too long, "Uh hey Tierna."

Tierna smiled shyly, "Hi Y/n."

After a minute of slightly awkward silence, Tierna and I left the hotel. The slightly awkward silence continued as we walked down the street. Despite knowing Tierna, I had no idea where to even start a conversation. I struggled when not on a date with her, but I was even more nervous than normal. I had no idea if Tierna even liked me or if Tobin had set her up as well. 

"So um how did Tobin get you to agree to this?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tiernas cheeks flush red. She always was adorable when she blushed. "She called me out for liking you which was terrifying because she's your older sister and I was worried about being murdered."

I laughed a bit at that. Tobin was only protective when she needed to be, she never cared about me dating, but as soon as I got hurt, you should be afraid. "Oh no, Tobin doesn't care until someone hurts me. Wait, you like me? How?"

"Uh yeah. You were just so genuine and funny when we first met, it just kind of happened. I thought I was hiding it pretty well by not interacting with you much when we were alone, but apparently she caught be staring and blushing a lot. How did you get roped into this?"

"Well Tobin told me about 2 hours ago about this date and I had no choice. I didn't think she knew about my feelings for you, I'm starting to question that though. Did she say anything about it?"

"She said you liked me. I didn't really believe her, but I figured I would take the chance and come up with something later if it backfired. I'm sorry you were put on the spot."

"It's okay, I'm not mad about it. Well not anymore anyway. Just kinda nervous that this will be a crap date given my time constraints. If I had known it was you, I would have tried harder to make it what you deserve."

Tiernas cheeks flushed once again as she looked anywhere, but at me, "Honestly, I've been wanting this for a while now so I'm sure whatever you planned will be perfect because it's with you. What are we doing anyway?"

My heart fluttered at her confession. I never would have imagined Tierna ever feeling the same way. I wanted it to be a surprise though, "You'll see."

We made small talk while we walked. I was still being slightly awkward, it was to be expected. I hadn't been on a date in over a year, even before that it didn't happen often. My focus was for a long time on getting my career where it is now. "So you own your own photography company right? You're just contracted to us?"

I started out as a low level photographer at some pet photography place, I worked incredibly hard and managed to book a few non pet related shoots. Things just grew from there, soon enough I was opening my own photography business, doing shoots from birthdays to weddings to pretty much anything people wanted. I had grown to have a few people working for me so when I got approached about working with the USWNT I decided to take the position because it meant getting more time with my sister. I was a little bit surprised when they did approach because normally they just hire someone. Tobin had confessed a few months later that she had showed them my work and hyped me up.

"That's amazing, your family must be proud."

"My parents took a while to come to terms with it, I wouldn't say they're proud though. Tobin is proud, but thinks I need to get out more, that there's more to life than a job."

"It's more than just a job for you though, isn't it? You created something from the ground up, the way you talked about it's clear you love what you do."

"For the longest time I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was always envious of Tobin for knowing exactly what she wanted. I studied business because that's what my parents wanted, but I hated it, guess it came in handy though."

Tierna stopped walking to look at me, curiosity covering her face, "Why photography? That's a big jump from business."

I started walking again, we had to get to the museum so we had time to have a proper look around before dinner. Also, spending too much time looking at Tierna made me even more nervous. This was probably the longest we had spent alone or spoken to each other. "I know right. There's not some big story behind it. One of my friends was an arts major and needed help with a photo one day. It was fun and I guess I was hooked. From there I just started doing it. To say the least, my parents didn't necessarily approve at first which in a way drove me to where I am now. Oh we're here."

The museum was a very large glass building, lit up on the outside by white lights. Tiernas expression instantly lit up with excitement as she kind of bounced up and down, "It's beautiful. I love museums. This is the one that just opened right?"

"Yup." I took her hand dragging her inside. What could I say? I was super excited. Once we were inside I became painfully aware that I was still holding her hand. She didn't make any move to pull it away though so I didn't either. Our hands remained joined as we walked around though as we walked we continued to get closer. At one point, Tierna ended up cuddled against my side as I rambled about something random. I don't think I've ever felt so flustered yet excited and comfortable at the same time. All I knew was I wanted that to happen more often.

This museum had a lot of different areas to it. It was pretty much all the different types in one. Science, space, history and art all in one. I'm pretty sure there was also a marine mammal section which for me is a close second to the space section. At heart I was a giant nerd, I loved it all especially space. The look on Tiernas face told me she loved it. It was a relief. This date didn't mean much it the beginning, it was just a forced thing. Now that I knew it was Tierna, I kind of wish I had done more. 

"While I could stay here all night, we have to go." Tierna pouted, I knocked her shoulder gently with mine to get her to stop, "Nope, stop that. We have dinner reservations so if you don't want to eat we can stay."

"Hmm fine, I guess I am hungry."

We left the museum, hands still intertwined. Walking down the street I listened to Tierna talk about all her favourite parts of the museum. She was rambling again, I didn't mind though. I liked listening to her talk. Her voice was soft and soothing yet slightly raspy. Yup, I didn't mind at all. We came to a stop outside the restaurant. It was a small family run Italian place, that had amazing food.

"No way, I love this place. Didn't Tobin only tell you about our date like 2 hours before? How did you get a reservation? This place is usually booked out on a Friday."

"My friend works here, she managed to get us in."

The awkwardness had long disappeared and conversation became easier. During dinner I got to know Tierna better. Anyone who knew Tierna knew she was on the more quiet side, but she easily talked about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies and pretty much anything else. Turns out I loved listening to her talk. I was also paying special attention to her likes, dislikes and hobbies for future dates or gifts. I had every intention of spoiling Tierna if we our relationship developed. Tierna deserved the world and I would do my best to give it to her if she let me.  

Eventually our reservation time came to an end so we made our way outside. Tierna started shivering instantly so I slipped my jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, "Here."

"You're going to be cold," Tierna protested.

"I'm fine, I don't get cold that easily. You need it more than me."

"Thank you. I know you didn't really want this, but I've had an amazing time tonight Y/n/n."

Tierna stepped closer as I retook her hand, lacing our fingers together. She pulled me closer so we were almost touching. "I've wanted this since we met T. This just wasn't how I wanted it to happen, but I'm also glad it did because I don't think I would have told you anytime soon."

I made the last move, pulling her in and connecting our lips in a slow kiss. It was tentative at first, both slightly unsure and nervous. After a few seconds, Tiernas hand cupped the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. My confidence rose with that, my arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against me. Normally, kissing someone like this on a public sidewalk was not something I would ever do, PDA made me incredibly uncomfortable, but I was finally kissing the girl I've wanted for almost a year. Let's just say it felt incredible. When air became a problem, we slowly pulled away, a smile spread across my face as a giggle slipped out. There wasn't anything else planned for tonight, though I really didn't want the night to end yet. 

I racked my mind for anything that we could do when I remembered an ice cream shop that was open late, "Do you want to get ice cream and walk along the pier? I know a place that's still open."

Tierna cuddled against my side as we started walking again, "I would love to."

"Good because I don't want tonight to end yet."

Tobin smirked as I flopped down on my bed with a no doubt dopey smile. It was well after midnight so I was slightly hoping Tobin was asleep. I didn't want to deal with her smugness, not when there was still some resentment there.

"So how was the date?"

"How long have you known about my feelings?"

"A little while now. You're not really shy unless feelings are involved and normally you will talk to anyone, but you always got shy around T, you never really interacted much with her, always looking at her when she wasn't paying attention. Now how was the date?"

"It was really good. Thank you Toby."

"Anytime."

"No, literally never do this again. You have no idea how pissed I was at you, then how nervous I was that my plan wasn't good enough for Tierna. I know she liked it, but if I ever got the chance I wanted to make it really special. Like she deserves."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think you would believe me if I told you she like you. It went well though? Did you make your move?"

I recounted our night as I got ready for bed, already knowing I would be too excited to sleep. Tierna and I were going out for brunch tomorrow. While I used to try my best to not be alone with her, now I couldn't wait to see her again. I couldn't wait to see how our relationship developed. 

[kittyball23]

True Crime (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: Bruce hears something unexpected on the True Crime podcast he listens to

__________________________________________

Beach days were always the best.

It gave his wife Brandy the ample time she needed for a little R n R. It gave their 13 kids the fun they craved, hitting the waves and splashing about in the warm Vacay Island waters. And it gave Bruce the opportunity to kick back, tan, and listen in on the next episode of his True Crime podcast.

His kids were well-behaved for the most part (save for Bruce Jr. and his biting problem, and perhaps Freddy with his desire to stuff his body into whatever little cramped spaces there were). But, with a quick reminder to mind their manners and beware of any rough waves, he knew that they were well off.

As he settled down on the towel, he could hear the faint sounds of his children laughing and splashing, their mother floating on a surfboard nearby and watching over them. Bruce then removed his vest, rubbed tanning oil on his body, donned sunglasses, popped on his earbuds and began to play the podcast. The narrator's mysterious voice began to speak, introducing the story.

“In tonight's episode of True Crime, discover a true story about betrayal, deception, and greed, and the defeat of two nefarious villains who were finally dethroned from their treacherously influential reign…”

Bruce was already intrigued. Ooo, this is gonna be a GOOD one. He could tell. He tucked his arms behind his head and got comfortable.

“When one is a troll, there is no better way to live your life to the fullest than with hugging, dancing, and of course, singing. But for one troll, these harmless activities become the paramount of his nightmare for the next two months.”

Bruce scrunched his nose, skeptical. Singing and dancing that led to, as the narrator described, a ‘nightmare’ situation? He had to hear the rest of this.

“You never expect this sort of thing to happen to you, you know?” a new voice said, which Bruce could presume was the victim of the unfortunate scenario. “I sure didn't. They seemed like a nice pair of siblings. I never suspected anything malicious. They saw my performance, enjoyed it, and asked for some tips to boost their own careers. We had some drinks and… and the next thing I remember is waking up in a diamond bottle.”

Yikes, Bruce thought, pitying the victim. He sounded like a nice guy, too, with the calm, serene tone his voice had. Trapped in such a cramped space for so long sounded awful.

“And you won't believe who those said siblings were,” the narrator continued. He was very right in that, too. Because as soon as the podcast began to play a sample of the hit single ‘Watch Me Work,’ Bruce’s jaw practically dropped on the floor.

No way…

“Yes way. You heard correctly. Criminals in this case are none other than superstar sensations Velvet and Veneer, from the bedazzling city of Mount Rageous. But following them now, is a not-so-bedazzling record. (And we don't mean the musical kind.)”

A new female voice began to list off charges. “Troll-napping, Troll torture, not to mention tax evasion. You won't believe how many yachts, bling, and exotic PETS they illegally bought!”

Even if Bruce could believe it, he was still having a hard time wrapping his mind around the initial news. Velvet and Veneer? The well-known household names that his kids - and himself for that matter - were fans of? Well, not anymore! Hearing such things that they did made him sick. Man… it’s gonna be hard separating the art from the artist.

“And today, just two months after the duo was turned in by their assistant, Crimp, they find that their names live on forever not in fame, but in INfamy,” the narrator said.

“Oh, I feel awful,” the distinct voice of Veneer said next. “I wanted nothing more than to be famous, and… Vel made me believe that it didn’t matter HOW we did it, as long as we DID it. Even… even if it meant KILLING a troll. It was real rough - I mean, sucking up his talent was easy enough, but we were literally sucking the LIFE out of him. His skin was turning pale - and, like, not in a stunning Victorian way, either - and that magenta hair of his was turning whiter and whiter by the minute…”

Magenta? Bruce wondered. He’d known a troll once with magenta hair. His own younger brother. Could it be…? No, it couldn’t… I mean, there’s PLENTY of Trolls that have magenta hair, don’t they?

“I didn’t say anything to Velvet though because, truly, I was too afraid to stand up to her. She’s my sister! My biggest inspiration… I didn’t wanna discourage her. But now, I see that what we did was wrong. Very, VERY wrong.”

Good, Bruce thought.

“But despite the change of heart, this Mount Rageon still has to serve at least another six months in juvenile imprisonment, alongside his sister,” the narrator said. “It comes as much relief to the now-free victim.”

“Jail can’t be fun,” the same serene voice from before admitted, “but I’m glad they’re serving their time. Everyone makes mistakes, and just like it’s important to learn from them, it’s also important to pay the repercussions for your actions.”

Well said, Bruce had to admit. He also had to admit something else.

That sounds a LOT like something Floyd would say…

And if his suspicions were not enough…

“While recovery has been successful for the troll and he has plans to return to singing, he still feels as though something is missing from his life…” the narrator continued.

“I was solo-ing around for quite a bit of time before I ran into Velvet and Veneer,” the Troll said. “But, really… I would LOVE if I could perform in the band I was in years ago… but, we kind of had a fight, and ever since that fight, we haven’t seen each other. If we could reunite - oh - that’d be a dream come true. It’s been too long.”

Bruce swallowed. Twenty years is a long time…

The next part was the real kicker, though.

“Until that day, 36-year-old Floyd still holds onto the hope that he will see his bandmembers - also known as the brothers who made up the band BroZone - someday,” the narrator said.

“John Dory, Clay, Branch, Spruce… if ANY of you are listening, I want you to know that I miss you. And I want us to be a family again…” the Troll - FLOYD - said.

Bruce’s thumb went to hit the pause button. He had to stop. This was a lot to process, all at once. He was flabbergasted. Bamboozled. Shocked. He broke down everything he had heard piece by piece, trying to make sense of it.

Velvet and Veneer were baddies.

They had taken Floyd.

His brother Floyd.

They’d used his talent.

They’d almost killed him.

He would’ve never had the option of seeing his brother again.

But now, he did.

“Daddy! Daddy!” one of his kids - Windy - was suddenly calling to him. “Bruce Jr. threw sand in my eye!”

“I said I was sorry!” Bruce Jr. protested.

“Only after Mom told you to!” LaBreezy pointed out.

“Did not!” Bruce Jr. countered.

“Did too!” Cove jumped into his sister’s defense.

“Well, Daddy, aren’t you gonna punish him??” Windy demanded to know. The way he saw it, it wouldn’t be fair to let him slide!

But the way Bruce saw it… well, he wasn’t seeing anything. His brain was still overloaded with what he’d learned.

Brandy had followed the kids, curiously noting her husband’s surprised expression. “Honey?” she questioned. “Are you all right?”

Bruce looked at her resolutely.

“I… I have to find my brother…”

[rrxaiky]

𝐈𝐅 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, - 𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐔𝐀𝐍

HSR: Jing Yuan x GN! Reader WARNINGS/ TAGS: Mild hurt/comfort, implied character deaths, half angst half fluff, OOC warning [1.2K WC]

── YOU WILL ALWAYS BE YOU.

A/N: Physics homework? Art project? Pft what's that? (Writing this was more important to me than my work apparently) This was supposed to be scrapped, but then I decided to just finish it (This isn't the best, sorry)

HSR MASTERLIST

“Will I see you again?”

Jing Yuan walked around under the shed of the spring trees. He can no longer remember the first time he came here. If someone were to ask him, he wouldn’t be able to answer. All he remembers is the changing of the leaves on the trees, and the times he’s come recently… And the times he’s been here with you.

He doesn’t have a purpose for coming here anymore. He was convinced years ago that this was just a waste of his time, and yet he found himself returning here more than he wanted to. Since he was already there… Might as well take a nap under a tree or walk around to pass the time. As much as Jing Yuan would want to go back, he just felt that he needed to spend a few extra minutes there.  

Today was no different, walking around as the vibrant coloured leaves of the tall trees provided him shade from the blazing sun, the crinkling of the leaves under his shoes as he walked around. And then…

He saw you.

You looked just like he remembered. Curious eyes and a soft nature. That’s what drew him to you in the first place. Wasn’t it? 

Your eyes were currently glued to a book that you were reading, and Jing Yuan didn’t want to disturb you… But he really, really wanted to be friends with you. He subconsciously walked towards you, taking a seat beside you and asking, “What are you doing here alone? It might be dangerous here.” 

You looked up from your book to meet his gaze. “Ah! I know I shouldn’t, but… Everything here is so pretty, I want to write about everything I see here…” You trailed off. Your curious personality never left you, it seemed. He knew you all too well, always wandering into places you shouldn’t be, always bringing a sense of panic to him, always so comforting at the same time. 

“(Name)?” He mumbled from under his breath, not realising until his words reached his ears, and you had responded with confusion laced in your voice. “How do you know my name?” He snapped himself out of his head and responded to you, “You simply remind me of someone I knew.”

—

You had a weird dream the day you met him, and though your physical body was in bed, you felt like you were in the very place you had first encountered the man named Jing Yuan.

In the dream, instead of the vibrant colour of green the trees held, they had faded into a more brown and orangey colour, some falling from their branches onto the ground. You finally opened your eyes when a deep voice spoke. “(Name)!” That voice sounded familiar. Not because of the fact that you met this man a few days back, but because of something else…

You tried to greet him, only to find yourself unable to speak. You tried to lift your hand up, and found yourself unable to move. The only thing you were able to use were your eyes to look at him… Considering the person in your dream was already facing him in the first place.

Your eyes widened when Jing Yuan took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, then placed it on his cheek. “I’m sorry, were you waiting for me for too long?” You could hear a small laugh, one all too familiar to you. Did that voice belong to you? 

It only dawned on you that you weren’t in your own body then, it definitely didn’t… Although this person did share a name with you. “I didn’t. Don’t worry. I could never wait too long if it were you.” Jing Yuan smiled then. You saw… It was full of warmth, love and adoration held for the person you were in. 

You didn’t get to continue the dream. Your eyes had snapped open, and you were greeted with the darkness of your unlit room. You switched your lamp on, your hand reaching for your phone. You wanted to text him. This didn’t seem right. The way he knew your name, and him in your dream… You knew that dreams were weird. You’ve grown used to them in your years of living, but didn’t this seem like too much of a coincidence?

Maybe those were someone else’s memories. Those that didn’t belong to you.

Over the months, you’ve also noticed something. You’ve run into Jing Yuan more times than you could count, and because of that, your bond with him has also grown closer. Much, much closer. 

One night, while sitting with him, you told him that you wanted to leave the Xianzhou Luofu. You wanted to see the stars and galaxies… You wanted to see everything. You didn’t realise that Jing Yuan’s hand had intertwined yours. 

Oh, he knew this feeling too well. You were going to leave him… Again. 

For centuries he had met you and your reincarnations, and he fell in love with you every single time, even though he learnt that you were going to leave him in every life you lived in one way or another. 

Now, Jing Yuan had finally found you again… And you were going to leave him, this time by travelling. Yet, he kept a smile on his face because all the yous he’s met loved it so, so much. He can still remember when you looked at him tiredly centuries ago and told him to smile for you… Told him you loved his smile…

You smiled at the sight of his hand in yours, and the slight tightening of his grip. He didn’t want to let you go. 

“Are you going to come back?” You hesitated to answer him, only lifting your head to look at him for a while. “No, I’m sorry. I might not come back.” Jing Yuan used his free hand to cup your cheek, and whispered, “I’ll wait for you, don’t worry.” 

After all, it was worth the wait if it were you.

One year, one decade, and without much feel, another century had passed without you by his side. He’s seen the development of the Xianzhou Luofu, and currently, it was afternoon. He wasn’t planning on going out today, but he needed to go outside for a while to get something for Yanqing.

He locked the door of his home and looked up to begin his walk, and then… He saw you. Jing Yuan was momentarily stunned. He didn’t exactly expect this, but who was he to complain?

Your voice had broken him out of his trance once again. “Hello! You must be Jing Yuan, right? I’m your new neighbour, (Name). Nice to meet you.” You walked up to him and held your hand out, and Jing Yuan shook your hand, feeling the familiar warmth of your hand envelop his. 

It seemed that the cycle was about to repeat again, and you’d leave him again one day… but until then, he’d savour every moment he could have with you, and even if you left him… He didn’t mind waiting. 

Years ago, you had waited for him, and it meant everything to him. Now, he’d wait for you, even if he had to do it hundreds of times more… He wouldn’t mind, because if it were for you…

It was always going to be worth it to see you again.

RBs + Follows appreciated <3

[dawneternal]

rant below

people will be like "I wish I could stay home and nap all the time like you" and like

no you don't it's literal hell. Not to suck my own dick but I'm such an ambitious person and I have drive and determination AND I can't do anything with it because I have "too sleepy syndrome"

Someone told me that sounds like an ideal problem to have and I wanted to punch them in the face. Do you understand what it means? That I can't stand up for more than an hour? Or even sit up for very long sometimes? Sure, I can push myself and just do it. But then I'll get sick and feverish with migraines and joint pain and I'll be even more useless than if I'd been allowed to pace myself.

For reference, the average level of exhaustion in a CFS patient is the equivalent of a normal person who's stayed up for 72 hours straight.

I can't work. I didn't finish my degree. I can't clean my room. I can't clean my shower. I can't drive. If it's not an activity I can do in bed, I've had to give it up. Its lucky that I like writing and digital art. (Roller-skating, biking, swimming, and hiking used to be my favorites, but suuuure I'm not actually sick Im just faking cause I hate exercise)

Every single day is exactly the same over and over and over and it's melting my brain. And there are people who still have the audacity to fight me when I call this syndrome a disability (including my own therapist)

I am grieving today. I had so many dreams.

[meimeikyu]

Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

---

so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

[gen0c1de]

Requested by @callmecaspurr

I appreciate the compliment! I've been having a rough few months and this brightened my day! You look stunning yourself! This screen shot is from when you asked this on my other account @weirdwizardofoz so that’s why it’s here! I’m sorry it took so long, I have a lot going on in my personal life right now but I decided today I would do it since it’s been in my drafts for a few months! It also helped me take my mind off my life! Sorry it’s so short! I hope you like it!

Vincent Sinclair Fluffy/Regular Headcanons

TW: fluff, mentions dead body (not his or yours), Bo being an ass once, mentions of killing, please tell me if I missed anything!

Not proof-read

Requests are open!

His love language is gift giving and quality time.

I feel like his work with wax and his drawing abilities mean he also dabbled a bit in woodworking too.

If you are a jewelry person, he will make you jewelry boxes and holders of all kinds depending on what your style is.

He will make a stand for your rings after making a perfect replica of your hand but with the knuckles a bit smaller so the rings don’t get stuck on the mold.

At times when you’re in his workshop with him and you take a nap he will pull out his sketch book and he will make a sketch of you.

Hell, if he doesn’t have a victim or if he’s waiting for a victim to cool off he will sketch you out without you being in the room.

How much time he has determines how detailed it is.

He’s also pretty cuddly in a way.

If he’s sitting down in his workshop he will happily allow you to sit on his lap facing him.

If you fall asleep sitting like that it will melt him like the hot wax he has.

If Bo is yelling at you for any reason, Vinny will silently appear behind you like your damn shadow and he will stare Bo down.

Bo: “Damn it Y/N! Can’t you d-“

Vinny appears behind you staring at Bo with rage in his eye.

Bo, terrified but too “manly” to admit it: “Never fuckin’ mind…”

Que you turning around to see Vinny looking innocent and his arms open awaiting your embrace.

He stays up late at night working on his wax figure.

It melts his heart completely when he finally is ready for bed and he gets in and you wake up a little and mumble for him.

Your arms out stretched still mostly asleep: “Vivi… want cuddles…”

He’s done for.

If you get hurt he will become mama Vin, patching you up calmly and planting a kiss to wherever got hurt.

If you’re crying he will be there with your favorite snacks and some tissues, be prepared cause y’all will be cuddling and watching your favorite movies/show.

If you also enjoy art you’re definitely more than welcome to help him with his wax figures as long as you don’t mind the dead body.

Would rather you not go out and help Bo with the tourists, but if you really want to and you know what you’re doing then he won’t stop you.

If you like to do hair and wanna play or style his hair, let him know first so he doesn’t get startled by you.

Will happily walk around the house with his hair done up all pretty.

He also has tons of masks that he made, but the one he wears all the time is his favorite because it looks the closest to him.

So if you take a mask and put on some nice makeup, he won’t mind.

Just ask if you can first.

He can nearly never say “No” to you.

Y/N: “Vinny…? Can I paint your nails?”

Vin nods.

Y/N: “Can I draw in your sketchbook? I’ll draw something small in the last page so I don’t take up your sketchbook.”

Vin nods and makes a mental note to get you sketchbooks.

The only time he will say “No” but without actually saying it:

Y/N: “Vivi? Can we get a pet? Please?”

Vin using sign language or writing in his notepad: “We have a dog.”

He will probably get you a small pet in secret.

Will happily make you matching bracelets or something like that, so you have something of his and he has something of yours.

If he’s been gone all day and it’s late when he gets back and you’re holding his pillow or in his shirt?

Gone.

He is GONE.

Gets flustered and giddy when you pepper his mask in kisses.

When he finally allows you to see his actual face, please pepper his face in kisses.

If you’re making dinner and he is done with work he will come up to see you and wrap his arms around you and plant his face in your neck.

He misses you when he hasn’t seen you all day, he has messed up a few things because he was thinking about you and not paying any attention.

Has a few drawings and paintings of your eyes and your eye color, he loves the color.

Doesn’t matter what color your eyes are, he loves them.

Loves holding your hand!

Seeing your hand in his and seeing the sizes between them!

[molinaskies]

I Love You - Come With Me

46k words

There’s no “me,” anymore. In a way, there’s only “Sonic the Hedgehog,” and that hedgehog, somehow, isn’t me.

I keep telling myself that I’m zipping around the world with Amy because she needed a break and she wanted to get away from a desk and that all of this is for her, but is that entirely true? I guess it’s a symbiotic situation–-it’s not like I’m not enjoying myself–-but she needed this more than me… Right?

What if when Sonic asks Amy to go with him on an adventure, she says yes? They’ve always been inseparable kindred spirits, but what exactly makes their bond so unique, and where do they make each other stronger?

This is my Sonamy Thesis. This is that story.

I Love You - Come With Me: FF.net

I Love You - Come With Me: AO3

Surprise! I made cover art! Hehe ✨

Two years ago, I wrote I Love You - Come With Me as the cap to my “Summer of Sonic,” where I’ve revisited and fallen back in love with this franchise, this relationship, and these characters, as individuals. I feel like I’ve really grown to understand the nuance of SONIC, the kid and the franchise. This, to me, is my Sonamy and Sonic Thesis - THIS is why these characters are poetry in motion, and THIS is why Sonic is a beautiful character.

This is technically set in the IDW universe, but I don’t find that information all that important to the story. There aren’t any major spoilers, no IDW exclusive characters come up beyond brief mentions, and you don’t need to be caught up over there for any part of this to make sense. Some minor plot points and locations are referenced, but most of the locations are original. “Inspired” might be a better word than “set.”

I’m touched to say that my work has impacted so, so many of you ♥️ you all have giving me an fun, kind space to share in the thing I love the most, so thank you all for being you!

Chapter One - “I Love You” - Below

“I love you, Sawn.”

In front of her small suburban home in Central City, Amy’s lips curl into a small, shy smile. The rays of the setting sun illuminate her face, showcasing the soft blush that tints her cheeks. Her right hand fiddles with the gold bracelet adorning her left wrist, and while she’s certainly trying to fight it, she slowly shifts her weight from one heel to the other. I might not’ve noticed if the fabric of her dress didn’t flow with her movements.

Amy, despite her affectionate streak, doesn’t say those words often. She doesn’t need to say them because she knows that I know how she feels.

I just wish I knew what to say back.

I know what my response is, but something about saying it makes my throat clamp shut, my quills stand on end, and my mind shut down.

So, I stand here, tongue-tied and flustered, staring into those sparkling jade eyes—eyes that haven’t sparkled in months.

Whenever we’ve seen each other recently, which has become increasingly rare over the better part of a year, she either hasn’t slept in days or is in the middle of something: paperwork, preparing for an outreach mission, a well-deserved power nap on the Restoration lobby sofa—something. Whenever I want to check on her, the headquarters in Emeraldville is always my first and only stop. I haven’t seen her outside of the building in weeks.

Today, though, she found me in Tails’ workshop—she just walked right in and called my name. I all but jumped out of bed and down the stairs because I thought something was wrong. But no—she just winked, said she has some free time, and told me to walk her home.

All the way, she’s been her bubbly, witty, silly self, again. It’s been a long time since this much of her attention’s been on nothing but me. It’s intimidating. It’s… nice.

“Then, come with me,” I say. With half-lidded eyes and a smile that doesn’t quite radiate the warmth I feel inside, I extend a hand to her. “Let’s follow the wind and see where we go.”

Amy’s wide eyes dart between my face and my open hand. She takes the smallest step and extends her hand, but just when her fingers graze mine, she rips them and her gaze away.

“I… I don’t know,” she whispers. My smile falters, but I keep my hand outstretched. More to herself than anyone, Amy continues. “I can’t leave if I’m needed here.”

My face softens at her admission. Selfless to a fault.

“Well, how’s Jewel settling under the Restoration crown?” I ask. Amy snorts to herself.

“Like a natural,” she says. “She’s a better lead organizer than I was.”

“Does the Restoration need any extra hands?” I ask.

“Well, no.” Amy pauses. “We’ve gotten a new wave of volunteers.”

“And how are the Rabbits doing?”

“…Cream and Vanilla are fine.” Amy glances away, biting back her smile.

“Then, you’ve clearly worked your magic here,” I whisper as I close the gap between us and take her hand in mine. “Come with me, Ame. Take some time to yourself and come with me.”

Amy’s gaze meets mine again, and I can’t look away as she intertwines our fingers.

“Okay.”

[hanyusan]

GIFT

My delayed emotions are catching up to me. At last, I feel overwhelmed. Lack of sleep might be amplifying a little bit. I tried to nap at intermission and sleep after. For adrenaline-related reasons, that did not happen. Worth it.

Yuzu is someone who prefers to express himself through art versus relying on speaking. When you see what he has to say, you don't filter through it like you would if he were to use words alone.

For precisely that reason, his skating feels distinct from that of his peers'. Even if you can't decipher the details, his skating is alive. It declares, it shouts, it smiles; sometimes it cries. At times, it overflows with satisfaction. At others, it brews with frustrated determination. In the final years of his competitive career, it shrouded itself in a solemn fighting spirit. GIFT defined itself through all these raw and honest emotions paired with simple yet poetic voiceovers and a dramatic array of visual effects, dance, and (of course) live music. Yuzu promised an ice "show." A fantastic show was exactly what he delivered.

Though Yuzu doesn't shy away from sharing his emotional state, he's also an incredibly private person. While his wisdom makes itself obvious based on what he chooses to tell the public and when (...and how), a lot more of it exists in what he keeps to himself.

Most of us know that he goes through hard times. It's impossible that he doesn't. Even if not because of the glare of the public eye, his toughness on himself must weigh down heavier at certain moments. Yet he successfully hides a large extent of it. When it was literally "amateur" hour, he would disappear for months at a time and then abruptly reappear at competitions, only to vanish again immediately after. Unless he deigned to mention it afterwards, no one knew what was happening in those weeks when he transformed into the elusive animal of nature documentaries.

As worrying as it was, I also like it to this day. I like that he circumvents the obligation to report his every move. I like that he only talks about things when he feels like it, and then with as few or many words or anime references as he desires. I like that he opened zero social media accounts until he needed them for work, because of course he would. Maybe it hits close to home. I often feel pressured to share my problems with people so they can make me "feel better," even if I'm not ready. That uninvited breach of boundaries usually prompts a horrible spiral of suffering. I like that he felt okay closing himself off.

Today, Yuzu filled GIFT with his entire heart, strife with all of the agony and internal turmoil that he's battled. And I like that he felt safe enough to be vulnerable and tell everyone that he's had a hard time. That he once felt deterred by the circumstances from continuing what he loved. That later, when his love wavered due to different circumstances, he tried to force himself to still find it enjoyable. There comes a point where, no matter how deep your love for something, one day you'll feel as if you're merely going through the motions. It's scary. You defined yourself by your passion for so long. How could it just go away? What are you if it goes away?

Part of me harbors the naive wish that he never had to endure such pain. It's paradoxical. To be tormented by such philosophical questions, you first have to be the type of person who would want to seek and create answers. And that type of person, someone who is pensive and caring, is always who deserves the inevitable pain the least. That's who Yuzu is—someone who won't take the easy way out.

Like life, skating challenges him in an unfair and persistent fashion. As this road continues to taunt him, I wish for him the tenacity to walk it and the inner peace to stray from it should he ever want to. I hope that when he's alone, he can remind himself not to feel lonely. And if he still does, I hope he can remember how many people love him and feel even a little bit better until he can get back on his feet. He is an undying phoenix, sinking into ashes with the promise of rising again. As many times as it takes.

Yuzu, you gathered so many talented people to your side tonight to put on an amazing production. I cannot fathom the amount of time, precision, and innovation it must have taken you and your entire team to complete it. I won't lie. Your seemingly insatiable hunger for bigger and better things can be frightening at times. Yet I adore the unbridled glee on your face when you succeed in grabbing what it is that you reach for.

ありがとうございました！

P.S. Take that, 4S. Little punk of a jump had it coming.

[beatsboy]

7.28.24 / day 35 of romanticizing my life until i love myself again

it’s almost 2am, i woke up about an hour ago from a 5 hour “nap” after going to a queer day market to support my friend selling their art, and it was really cute and i was honestly super social as i have not had that much social interaction lately (getting used to living alone and having to actively go out and seek social interaction has changed my capacity when i do have it so much, like crazy not feeling drained every time i leave the house because i’ve already been like 5 people’s father/therapist/cleaner/etc before getting to the place i’m going to be supportive/present for someone else) but god damn it was so f u c k i n g hot and tbh i’m very proud of myself for making it as long as i did i only made it thanks to the ice cream vender who put my ice pack necklace (shoutout to my mom who has these for menopause and told me about them) in her cooler so it could get cold again and the lemonade vender who gave me a giant cup of ice to hold against various parts of my body to stay cool af and i got to talk about the music video, and future music videos, the more we talk about this stuff, the more motivated i feel to work on music i want to get to the part where i get to be the thing i’ve been building mostly in my brain for so long

originally, we were going for summer release, and then everything got all fucked up with my roommate situation and moving but i think it was meant to happen this way; this project is better suited for the fall, regardless, and clearly brat has taken over this summer in terms of music, on all levels, especially in the hyperpop scene there are still brat parties going on in la, smaller artists are still reaping the benefits of this album (though not getting much credit, as per usual) love seeing the dare dj a petal supply remix of a brat song and getting all the credit, it’s fine we can continue letting cis white dudes get the credit for queer artists, it’s fine i was literally at a brat market today, where everyone had brat merchandise it’s hard for any other music to break through the brat noise in pop/hyperpop right now, not to mention, boypop is kind of fucking freaky, so i do think sept/oct release would be good for the theme

i rewatch the assembly of the first minute or so of footage and literally cannot believe that that is me these are the movements i practice in the shower, in the corner, in my room, when no one’s looking, movements, expressions, i rarely actually see and the thing is, when i do see, i often shrink from them when i tried to practice performing like this in front of a mirror, i always lost it, the authenticity of it, the commitment, giving fully into the performance, the character, the self that’s the only way, in my opinion, to perform, because any level of restraint pulls you back to reality, that i am just a human, an insecure boy, going through puberty for the second time in his life of 27 years, afraid that he hasn’t done enough in his short time on this earth and wishes he’d taken a life-altering journey to a faraway planet where pop music was the harbinger of liberation instead of a stint in rehab and a coke addiction

anyway, market was fun, although so so hot, and after not going out all weekend, especially after thinking i was going to go to the rave on friday night and not, i really needed some socialization, with friends, and new people, and really needed some real time spent out of my apartment i got a really cute trucker hat that says “gay son” that i’m obsessed with and a really beautiful zine made by a trans guy about his gender journey (originally to raise money for his top surgery, which he had evidently already had, as he was standing there, fearlessly, with his shirt off) i honestly didn’t want to spend another $10 (i literally still have to make my rent in the next 3 days but telling myself i got this) but i think i just feel this intense awe when i see other trans guys post op shirtless, so free in a way i cannot imagine being so, naturally, i was blinded and overcome with this feeling, so i paid the $10 for the zine, and of course i do not regret it at all another vender had a kitten cafe with two 2 week old kittens inside (pictured) because they were too young to be left alone and while i was worried about them and the heat, they were quite cute

after being at the market for over 4 hours, af and i came back to my place, where i made us greek wraps with ground turkey and homemade tzatziki and cucumbers after we walked to h mart to get fresh tortillas i showed them the latest version of “boypop” which is so close i can taste the final mix (and am a bit mad i didn’t work on it today, but it’s fine, i was exhausted) they noticed the automation, the changes i’ve been making, i feel like i’ve actually been moving forward in my work this past week instead of just hyperfixating and going in circles, which is a danger i face in the finishing phase it’s hard to let go of a project, to let it be done i still listen to “king” and think of different harmonies i could record now with my current voice and i can sing whatever i want live, but the recording is done, the mix is done, there are no more changes to be made

i think, in the same way that i love people for their potential, and not always for who they are right now, i see a song as it’s potential, which is why i can imagine so much more than what is actually in front of me, and translate that symphony in my head into the daw, and i also why it’s so hard to let go, to stop, to step away from the infinity of changes and evolutions each project could still face sometimes it feels like i could just work on something forever and as i learn new things it will keep getting better and better, but at some point, i just have to let go

when i was a kid, my dad told me that an artist’s first album is always the best because it’s the cumulation of only their best works at the time, but then they just have to keep creating and they slowly get worse and worse i don’t know why i let this stick with me, more insidious influence from my father on a career i hadn’t even chosen when i knew him, it was just some dumb musing from a middle-aged man making himself feel smart by making a comment about maroon fucking 5

his birthday was 2 weeks ago i wonder if it makes him sad, on his birthday, at the age of 66, knowing he’s grown to be the kind of man who would offer back his relationship to his child, who has grown to hate him more than he hates himself, at a price, who has grown to be a man who can put a price tag on anything, even his love and support knowing he is one of the only people left in this planet, soon including even TSA agents and the DMV, to call me that name to wonder if i will ever come back, if i will ever call, if i will ever reach out, if i will ever show up and say i’m sorry dad you were right all along i got off the path and i sold my body and i want to go back to my normal life with a check for $5000, crying, and return to his control (i won’t) he tells my brother that it’s on me, ball’s in my court, if i want to come back that’s all i have to do, say sorry and pay the fine my terms have always been more simple, which i have communicated let’s talk, with a therapist present you two (parents) schedule (since they have crazy schedules) and i will be flexible (even though i too have crazy schedule) “he said he’s willing” my mother claimed, but it never came to fruition, of course not i blocked his number at first, i had to he wouldn’t stop calling, threatening me, telling me i’d made my mother sick with my behavior (becoming financially independent after realizing i was being financially/emotionally abused) i responded to his emails for a while, but they got worse, so i stopped then, his dad died, and i unblocked him just to call and give my condolences i left him unblocked after that. he could have called any time he wanted, but he didn’t i would know if he’d even tried

i wonder if my dad, too, ever sat alone in his first solo apartment journaling about his thoughts and reflecting on the ways his actions impacted other people mostly i hope not, because i don’t want to know if he did good things before he went bad, i want his fate to feel impossible for me to come to i already know that he read the tao te ching and the four agreements, things i’ve read as a young adult, that have brought me peace, that have taught me ways to move through the world, that don’t make sense when i think of him, and it makes me uneasy i don’t want to envision him being a morally good person and suddenly turning it makes me fear that i could still face the turn, when i want to believe that i have avoided it, that i am not capable of becoming a man like That

but, in truth, we are all capable of becoming like that, of selling out to some idea worse than what we believe in because it’s easy, because what we’re doing now is hard, because the rat race is tiring on the ground because our bodies are tired because maybe our fathers were right and the world’s a hard place and maybe i won’t because i know he wasn’t right, he never was, he was a professional bully who practiced on his wife and children but it is in every decision we make, daily, hourly, minute by minute, that determines who we are, and in ever decision, we can make the turn, we can cave and be cruel, we can give in and take the easy route, knowing that each of those decisions pulls us closer to That which we fear becoming the evil you fear lies as much in buying all your furniture on amazon as it does saying something cruel to someone who doesn’t deserve it just because you’ve had a stressful morning as much as the goodness you chase lives in being friendly to the coffee employee who’s taking forever on your drink when you’re late because it’s not their fault and their morning is just as important as yours as much as it lives in buying from local artists every decision determines how you move through the world, connecting each step and choice like a river, that is where you find where you’ll end up, which ocean you end up submerged in, which fish you will find yourself swimming into the dark night with and i crave free, calm waters for when i my end

[sasukessusanoo]

╰┈─✩ ˚ ‧ yuvesa ! ‧ ˚

✧˖° synopsis : just a lil selfship post

✧˖° cast and crew : yves x yuta

.ᐟ tropes : friends to lovers, mutual pining, "you deserve the world" "no, you"

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ authors note : jumping on the self-ship train cause why not !!! (@starsoir and @nudystar harassed me to) love yall tho <3 (going on my side acc cause it’s just for sillies and giggles fr)

—

date nights // activities

- yuta plans most of, (if not, all) of the dates. they’re usually smaller ones with activities that can be done at home because yves is a homebody ! baking sweets and a movie is usually their go to. he even makes a little pillow fort for them to lay in while they eat and watch the movie yves picked out.

- if the date happens to be outside, yves is usually the one planning it. she tends to be better at picking more outside-ish activities. pottery classes, art galleries, and picnics because yuta loves them :(

- picnic dates in particular is where yves outshines herself because she cooks all of their meals for the occasion ! she’ll even bake some muffins (because they both enjoy them) and maybe if it’s late enough they’ll stargaze.

- yuta drives them everywhere though, yves can’t drive and is too scared to learn so he makes it a habit to be her personal chauffeur.

- yuta buys fake flowers for every. single. date, because yves is allergic to real flowers. (they also last longer and with him knowing how sentimental she can be, he wants them to last as long as possible.)

—

love languages

- yuta’s love language is quality time, he loves spending time with her and whenever he can. this usually consists them studying together, going shopping while she runs errands and picks up hygiene products. or a quick gas station run; it literally will not matter because he automatically will want to go.

- yves’ love language is acts of service ! she loves doing things for the people she cares about and yuta is no exception !! all of those ranging from tidying up his room while he naps or just making his favorite snacks. her love language is also gift giving, so best believe there is ALWAYS a gift ready for him. stuffed animals, memorabilia from his favorite artists/bands. or just stuff she saw randomly online, she is getting it for him and he is beyondddd grateful every time.

—

yuvesa lore

- not one soul expected them to end up together. like at all. whatsoever.

- yves had the tendency to tease her romantic prospects (or just loved ones in general). which gave yuta the illusion that she was not interested WHATSOEVER. like, he knew it was playful and whatnot but their interactions often felt like she was friend-zoning him. that definitely was not the case though. it was very much flirting in her eyes, but was it seen as such?….next caller !

- yuta on the other hand does not know how to express his feelings well. if he did try to make a move it was very subliminal, small stuff like him holding her bags for her or just opening up a door and holding it open for her. in his eyes that was as obvious as it could get, but again, it was not as obvious as he thought it was.

- one of the only reasons they ended up together is because inumaki had to play matchmaker, he was sort of a messenger between the two because they were always running to him and asking questions.

“is yves busy today? if i asked her to lunch would she say yes? ask her for me. PLEASEEEEE”

“does yuta have plans? should i ask him if he wants to hang??”

- HE WAS TIREDDDD, like actually sick of it, because watching them dance around each other and just being unsure of who’s feeling what… he was so over it. it got to a point where he just discreetly started snitching on the both of them and left them to fend for themselves. it worked out great though ! he did his due diligence with that one.

🏷️ : @starsoir @nudystar @ivanari

[pbandjesse]

I just got home from my beading workshop. Which was so fun and such a lovely night. But I had to really hold myself together and of course as soon as I came home I completely fell apart. I just had a Popsicle and am laying down with sweetp. I am thankfully not nauseous but man am I tired.

It's not even that I am frustrated that I have to go to work. I'm frustrated when there isn't anything for me to do and I'm just. Sitting around. It drives me crazy. I could be at home! Laying down! Making stuff! But instead I'm just. Scrolling on Pinterest. But thankfully there was some stuff to do today, but there were still hours of me just being tired and frustrated.

I also didn't sleep well last night. I woke up at 2 and was absolutely completely awake. And my brain was looping about things I wanted to do in the house. Change the ceiling light. Packing James office to make space for baby. Ripping up carpets. Building a new closet. Feeling claustrophobic. Just not having the best time.

I would end up walking around the house and writing down things that I wanted to do. And emailed the list to James. They, being a sweetie, would write it all out and make a plan to get through my list. Love them so much.

I would eventually fall back asleep but it was not great. I woke up for real at 730 and I just felt really bad. But I had to get myself together to wait for our appliances to be delivered.

James would leave not long after I moved downstairs. I ate the peach I got yesterday. It was not quite ripe enough but it was still good.

I was laying on the couch when James texted me that they rescheduled our delivery again. For tomorrow. Frustrating. James was very mad. I was just annoyed but it's whatever.

I wasn't going to rush to work. Instead I would go and walk over to the CVS to get a refill of my zofran. Which ended up being really easy. While I waited for them to fill that I walked around the store. I got cheese puffs and moleskin to fix my shoes that gave me blisters. And once I had paid my $1.79 for my pills, I headed out.

I jumped in my car and drove to camp. There wasn't much traffic. I would get to camp around 9 and was still earlier then everyone else. And I didn't have my office keys so I decided I should just go up to art and fix my shoes with the moleskin. I would also gather a few more bead things for my workshop. And by the time I finished fixing the shoes I heard Elizabeth and Heather pull in. So I went to the office too.

I would spend the beginning of the day printing and stapling my handouts for the workshop. And I would work on creating a color sheet for my naft feild trips. And would print out some calendars for the next few months so I could write down all the trips and jobs and appointments. It's going to be a busy couple months.

I would work on some small tasks on the computer. Some emails, some gathering of information. But I also was just. Not doing enough. So I would spend a really large chunk of the day writing out notes for each specialty area from the summer. Who ran what. What went well, what didn't, things I think for next year. Suggestions about who should be running things and who shouldn't. My thought was since we were having a meeting today it would be good to be able to point toward this. Even if I wasn't there for the meeting.

I struggled to eat my lunch. Everything tasted bad today, or at least weird. I would eat most of the bag of the cheese puffs. And tried hard to drink water but it just tasted bad and it was very frustrating.

I would go up to art and laid in my hammock. I would end up falling asleep for a half hour. It was not a nice nap. Like it was really nice laying there but I felt very odd when I woke up and I was just not having fun.

I would shake it off best I could and would go back to the office. We were supposed to have a meeting today but it would end up getting moved to tomorrow. I was only annoyed because I wanted to go home so bad but I was staying for the meeting. But it's fine. I would be okay.

For the last hour I would work on some stuff for next year's music festival. And I felt good being productive. But by 330 I was like. It's time. I gotta go home.

So I checked in with Heather and she said that was fine. I got my stuff together and went home.

I'm glad I left when I did. Traffic was really bad and I wouldn't get home until 430. I only barely beat James. When I got back here I would turn the oven on so I could make a pizza.

James would get home and got to work changing the light in the studio. And I went and laid down while I waited for my pizza.

I had to leave here at 530. But that gave me enough time to finish gathering my materials and eat my pizza and be horizontal for a little bit.

But then it was time to go! And I was a little.nervous but it would end up being such a wonderful evening.

I set all my stuff up. And I had 7 people in my class. We would spend the first 20 minutes going over my background, the history of beading, and the tools we would use. I would show how to attach the beads. And then I set everyone to work.

Beading is a slow process. And we would work through 8. And it was just such a lovely group. We talked about work and life and it was just such a lovely night.

Beading on felt has its own problems. And our needles were getting wiggly and we were laughing and it was just such a good energy. We were also just laughing because there was a cowboy tapdance class above us?? It was so loud at times it was like they were going to fall right through the floor. But that would only go until 7. And our last hour was much quieter. With just my music playing.

We cleaned up at 8. And I only had the one basket so it was an easy clean up. And a few of them promised to sign up for my next class. They were excited to hear that all the home ecc classes were with me. Which made me feel really happy.

I also told them I just found out I was pregnant and when Parker was there I told him I was going to take the spring off to work on a "long term project" and showed him the ultrasound and I thought it was so funny. He was very excited for me, as were everyone in the class. It is really nice that other people are being so nice to me and excited for me. It helps a lot.

I went home and it's only about a 5 minute drive. I was very happy to be home where I could fall apart again.

James was here and was being so sweet. They got my that popsicle and I took a shower and now we are in bed. And I am so very very tired. Tomorrow they are apparently going to deliver our appliances, for real this time. Fingers crossed. And when that's done we'll see how I feel and if I'm going to go to camp. I probably will. I want to. I just want to have stuff to do.

Now though it is time for sleep. I love you all very much. Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!!