#I was also too intimidated to just Go To The Weed Store and Ask For Some Weeds Please when it was legalized here lmao

[blujayonthewing]

this is now the second time my mom has mentioned asking my brothers to bring her weed gummies so she can try weed gummies, why won't anyone give my mom weed

[spicedwatermel0n]

Teen designs ‼️

Feel free to ask questions about them, I'll answer a few that might've already come up in your head here but if I didn't answer them here feel free to send an ask!

- Nigel quickly began growing facial hair, which he originally liked because it made him look tough, but it became clear that it just ended up making him scarier. Hoagie also has gone through puberty a bit faster than everyone else, and has quite the hairy body. He shaves his face, but tells people the arm hair and leg hair needs to stay because it makes him look "like a dad". They all just assume he wants to look like a father figure because he doesn't have one in his life and hasn't since he was six. Rest in peace, Sr.

- the high school is very strict with dress code (no hats is the biggest) and is also under transphobic protocols. Although Kuki managed to fool the system with her gender being displayed as female in the system, Wally didn't get that luxury. He had his name changed in the system, but his gender still says female. Due to dress code, he isn't allowed to bind. He doesn't pass very well, and it means he has to use the girls restroom and is referred to as "she" by teachers and students. He still has his name change in, thankfully, so they only know him as Wally.

- at the beginning of high school, Wally was diagnosed as autistic and suffering from dyslexia (ADHD was diagnosed a year before). This gave him anxiety about his image, which causes him to freeze up when he's being bullied. He's a fighter, sure, but the names he's called causes his body to lock itself up and just let people treat him like a punching bag. He's frequently assaulted, sometimes even in front of staff, but no one does anything besides his friends, girlfriend, and boyfriend. This led to him stealing stuff like weed and cigarettes from stores and smoking it as a coping mechanism.

- Hoagie goes to smoke with Wally all the time. They run off into the forest and get REALLY high. Hoagie gets even more romantic than he already is when he's high so the two spend more time locking lips than actually smoking. They've accidentally left marks on each other's shoulders, necks, and cheeks from holding onto them for too long during their red eyed kissing sessions. They always get bullied for that the next day because high schoolers sexualize anything.

- Kuki finds Wally after school and takes him to her house to spoil him. She knows school is hell for him. He usually cries a bit, eats a small bag of chips, and falls asleep cuddling with Kuki during a TV show she put on for him.

- Abby has gotten in trouble a lot because she ends up getting physical with Wallys bullies. No matter how many times she teaches them a lesson, they don't learn. They still assault him. Wally appreciates it, though, since Abby is usually a good student, and her breaking it just to stand up for him makes him feel loved.

- Nigel only makes it to school once or twice a week. During those days, he'll try to stick around Hoagie and Wally so they don't get bullied. Nigel intimidates everyone, so their bullies just watch them from their lockers, knowing what will happen if they try anything.

- Nigel is feared because he supposedly ended the life of another student with his bare fists. Did he? No. It's a rumor everyone believes. The "dead" student in question was brought to the KND Arctic Prison, which is why they haven't been seen.

- Wally got the name "freak" in many ways. Some call him that for being autistic. Some call him that for being transgender. Some call him that for being bisexual. Some call him that for being polyamorous. Some just think he's ugly. The school was practically made for bigoted students, so he doesn't do very well there.

- Hoagie learned he wasn't going to escape the bullying very quickly, so he just started dressing as he wanted within the dress code. Many, many piercings. Wally can't get over the piercings. He thinks it's "super duper extra handsome of him".

- Kuki has the best reputation of Sector V. This is really only because every boy wants to date her, and every girl wants to be her best friend. Some of these people started poking at her after learning who she's dating.

[mimikyuno]

What was irama like at school? Since he's entering Sanremo again I want the tea ☕

omg i forgot mentioning this on tumblr like 2 years ago so at first when i read this ask i was like HOW DO YOU KNOW alsgslsghj

THIS GOT LONG so i’ll put it under a read more cut sorry alahslsh i love talking about good old filippo maria

but anyway he was kinda chill. we were classmates only for a year and a half but he and i were friends actually! basically he had to repeat the first year of high school so he switched to my school, was there for a year and a half and then switched to one of those school that do “two years in one”. last i heard from him he told me he failed the two in one and started a three years in one but then we drifted apart and that was gosh. over 10 years ago? being a little lesbian helped me get close to him bc everyone had a massive crush on him or anyway was intimidated by him so i think he liked that i was a bit weird (autism) and uninterested in him, especially since we went to a school with mostly girls; in my class the first year we were 27 girls vs 2 boys (him being one of the 2).

im pissed at him bc before he switched schools he lent me his one piece mangas (first 5 volumes) and i lent him my woodstock dvd and he just switched schools without warning any of us and he never gave me the dvd back 😤 and i had Just returned him the first volume of one piece which is very hard to find lmao

the best story i have from high school with him is that as i said we were kinda good friends (again why i was also upset he just. switched schools without saying anything to me or anyone else? i mean we still talked after he left but only via text and only sporadically for a year or so) and during one lesson he passed me a paper where he had written a song and he was like “you’re good at writing what do you think of my lyrics?” and i told him they were quite tacky and he got super offended 😭 in retrospect now that he’s a famous singer it’s hilarious to me

as for how he was like as i said, he was chill. honestly because he mostly slept, especially during the first 2-3 periods alsgslsg once our teacher called his parents to discuss this bc she was like “i think your son is doing drugs” and honestly she was right he was smoking soo much weed he was high 24/7 and he was the one who gave 4 of my classmates their first weed. i was there every time bc i hung out with him after school a few times and GOD CHRIST the last one was ugly but also one of my party stories even before he was famous.

WE WERE GONNA STUDY ENGLISH okay! he needed help in correcting the spelling and finishing a presentation for english class so after school we decided to go find a bench and study. as i mentioned above? 90% of the student body was girls, and they all crushed on him. so as we exited school we ran into a former classmate who was repeating the first year (were in the second at the time) and she decided to tag along. filippo just had to smoke before we studied, and he rolled a joint for our friend too. he had this bad habit of always rolling way too much weed (especially for first timers! got another classmate to throw up in class) and this girl straight up FAINTED on us. it was terrifying guys 😭 here we were, 15 and 16 and freaking out about her actually getting seriously sick and having to tell the police we had weed on us alsgslsgsl luckily it all resolved nicely and withou adults involved. he called his girlfriend of the time who ran there on her scooter and helped us take care of Fainted Girl. the most hilarious part of this story to me is that Girlfriend told filippo off and he was just like a little puppy literally this -> 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

BUT THE BEST PART was when Girlfriend ordered him to go to the store to get Fainted Girl food because she was starving and he ran and came back with ham 😭😭 like. prosciutto cotto in busta. his girlfriend and i laughed sm we started almost crying alshalag OF ALL THE SNACKS HE COULD HAVE BOUGHT! but fainted girl slurped that up like crazy and he was acting all smug. his gf and i kept laughing. then WHILE HIGH he drove me on his white vespa (yeah, he was That kind of guy) to where my mom was gonna pick me up and yeah. that was the last time we actually hung out before he switched schools. memorable. the ham part still makes me laugh when i think of his high face holding it alshsks his girlfriend and i were CRYING

sorry this got long but honestly i have even more stories he was chill but also a bit insane. the main reason i dislike him is that he was always quite arrogant. he came from a rich family and everyone crushed on him which gave him such an annoying ego. and the fact that he switched schools without saying anything was a tad rude, especially bc at first he didnt even answer my texts for a couple of weeks. we thought he died LMAO but no he just didn’t value us in the class enough to grace us with information or a goodbye. the fact that he came from a rich family was honestly probably the reason he got into sanremo giovani in the first place anyway. i wont say who his daddy works for bc idk if it’s public information and i dont wanna spread any rumours but. trust me im quite sure he got in bc of connections. all my former classmates and i agree on this lol. he was just a spoiled, arrogant kid who was also quite fun and chill. it just pisses me off how he gets fame and money probably thanks to his family! also how he never gave me my dvd back, im autistic i remember these things alshslsgsj oh and again, im autistic and rly care about these things but we were talking about ww2 in class once and i mentioned that my family at the time was part of the antifascist partisans and after class he was like “your family killed people how are u proud of it?” and i was like EXCUSE ME?! first of all they killed fascists who were like. trying to get people deported and were killing civilians. but he was adamant that being part of the resistance was as bad as being a fascist and that never sat right with me. but he was also 15/16 so i hope his mindset changed. ANYWAY YEAH. good old filippo

[belovedbangtan]

Simple Things | jjk

🅁🄴🅀🅄🄴🅂🅃🄴🄳

||| Masterlist |||

𝙿𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶: Boyfriend!Jungkook x Reader

𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃: 3.5k

𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈: Based on the song Simple Things by Miguel! Highly recommend listening to the song before reading! (song fic request are my FAV, give me more please!?)

𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂: Weed Smoking, Language, Sexual Content: grinding, teasing, nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (be safe!), Dom!jk, Sub!Reader if you squint, After care?  Its also really fucking cute and fluffy. 

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A cloud of smoke hung in the air, as you press the joint to your lips. Inhaling deeply, feeling the familiar burn in your throat. Some new r&b track playing softly in the background. Jungkook’s long legs resting comfortably over your lap, you pass him the joint. He sets his phone to the side to sit up and take it from you. As mundane as it sounds, this had become somewhat comfortable for the two of you. He blows the smoke out, passing it back for you to finish. Placing the remainder in the ashtray as Jungkook starts laughing hysterically, his infamous cackle bouncing off the walls; easily one of your favorite sounds.

“This video was from last year, watch this…” He sits up bringing the phone close to your face. You watch an extremely drunk Jimin dancing chaotically in the middle of a crowded club. The phone pans to the VIP section, and Taehyung hyping him up. You don’t miss the obnoxiously attractive women that crowd the same area. Your eyes widen and you start to laugh too. It reminded you of when you and Jungkook had first started dating. For the first few months, every weekend was spent with your friends in overcrowded clubs. Fun times, no doubt, but you were happy with your new normal.

Jungkook dismisses himself to the kitchen, mumbling something about having the munchies. You giggle at your predictable boyfriend, extending your legs into the spot where he was laying. Pulling up Snap Chat on your phone, not surprised to see Jimin and Taehyung’s stories. Almost as if they were trying to replicate the memory Jungkook just showed you from a year ago. Drunk as hell, beautiful women, VIP section, it was something to envy from the outside looking in.

You laugh to yourself, thinking back on your own memories. At the start of your relationship, seven months ago, it was much different. Frequently bar hopping with friends whenever we were able to. Once we discovered that we preferred just being in each other’s company, the partying slowly came to an end. You were happy with that though. You loved smoking and hanging out with your best friend, who also happened to be your boyfriend. You find yourself replaying Jimin and Taehyungs story, until you click on Jungkook’s; nothing. Peaking behind you to see him finishing off an apple, you start to think.

You were comfortable with spending your nights like this. Having moved in with each other a month ago, you loved being able to spend your free nights together. Watching a movie, cuddled up on the couch, listening to music, experimenting with food. Whatever you did, it made you happy. This was the first time you wondered if maybe he felt different than you. What if he wants to go out but doesn’t say anything because he knows how much you love staying home?

You get up from your spot on the couch, a stolen pair of Jungkook’s sweatpants hanging around your hips, while his t-shirt hides all your curves. He’s singing to the soft sounds coming from the speaker, and he looks so ethereal. His long bouncy waves, floating back and forth over his eyes; always made you want to brush his hair back. His outfit matching yours since you were wearing his clothes. The grey sweatpants looking sexier on him than on you, although he would argue that statement.

You hop onto the countertop letting your legs hang over, “Do you want to go out?” you blurt out, attempting to sound nonchalant.

He pauses, quickly turning to look at you. His face screwing up with confusion, “What? Like… tonight?”

You press your lips into a hard line nodding at him, which only makes him look more confused.

“Right now? You want to go out?” He asks you again to confirm as he slots himself in between your legs. He wraps his arms around your waist, letting his thumbs slide against the inside of your waist band.

“I mean, if you want to. I’m good with whatever,” You murmur, still attempting to be nonchalant.

“Well… if you don’t want to go out… why would I?” He giggles softly before pressing his lips to your nose.

“I thought maybe you’d want to party with Jimin and Tae, it’s been awhile since we’ve been out,” you try explaining simply.

He tilts his head to the side, seeing straight through your bullshit.

“Actually, I do wanna go somewhere,” He starts, pulling back and walking over to where our shoes are laying, “walk to the grocery store with me, we have like no food.”

You roll your eyes but you follow his lead slipping your shoes on. The grocery store was in walking distance, which was quite dangerous when you both had the munchies.

The wind is harsh but overall, the night is beautiful. The street is on the quieter side since its late into the night. Jungkook pulls your hand out of your hoodie and laces his fingers with yours before putting both into his hoodie. You look up to see him already smiling down at you.

“Baby, why did you ask me to go out tonight, honestly?” his voice is soft and laced with curiosity.

You sigh. You try not to feel insecure, but it was hard with him. He was perfect in your eyes, and you were… well, you weren’t perfect by any means. You constantly wondered if he would want something more, something that you couldn’t offer him. What if he needed more adventure or someone that was in his league? The bottom line was, you knew there was someone out there that could give him that; and it intimidated you.

“I don’t know, it’s just been awhile since we’ve gone out.” You tell him, although its true you know you’re lying to him.

“But you didn’t want to go out, so what would you have done if I had said yes?” He chuckles raising his brows to you.

“I would have gone, I just want to make you happy,” You look up to him and smile.

“I am happy. Right here, with you,” He leans down and kisses your cheek, ”You know that right?”

You force a smile and nod, and he seems to pick up on your hesitation, but he lets it go for now.

Your cloudy eyes scan over the chip section, while Jungkook goes to a different isle to pick out ice cream. Decision making wasn’t your strong suit, so he found you in the same isle 5 minutes later still debating.

“Okay, like spicy or cheesy? You know I hate making decisions!” You pout holding up the two bags.

He chuckles coming closer to see what the options are, “For you, my lady,” He says taking both bags from your hands and putting them in the cart. You start to giggle, reaching out to hug him.

You walk through a few more isles deciding you want to get some noodles for an actual meal. You’re debating on what kind to get, when he freezes in the middle of the conversation. Instantly you stop talking wondering what the hell has your boyfriend’s attention.

Within a few seconds you know, “Oh, if that’s what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours,” Jungkook starts singing to you in the middle of the isle. His newfound love for the song 10,000 hours was intense, he was constantly singing it to you. Your eyes widen and you start to giggle, taking his hand when he holds it out to you. He spins you into him still singing incredibly loud for a grocery store. His pulls you in and you sway to the music, still unable to control your laughing. You back away from him and you start doing ‘tik-tok’ dance moves to the pop song, Jungkook’s voice cracks as he starts to laugh at you. Within seconds he’s right there with you mimicking your dance moves, you’re both dying from laughter.

You jump when you turn around to see an old couple watching you and giggling.

“Oh my gosh, we’re so sorry!” You start laughing moving the cart out of the way while Jungkook quickly picks up the noodles and throws them into the cart.

“Please don’t apologize, you remind us of when we were younger,” The old man starts, looking at this wife adoringly, “It’s something special, to be in love with your best friend!”

You and Jungkook’s cheeks are burning red, as you hear the sweet compliment.

“It really is,” Jungkook agrees softly before looking at you, eyes filled with the same adoration as the old man.

You finally check out and begin your trek home, Jungkook insisting on carrying all the bags if you feed him some gummy bears. His left arm hangs around your shoulder while you alternate giving him a gummy bear, then yourself.

“Those were some pretty sweet moves back there,” he giggles

You start to laugh again shrugging your shoulders, “Yeah… yours were alright,” you mock. Jungkook gasps sarcastically.

“If I didn’t have this bag of food, I would dance battle you right here!”

“You mean… you would lose a dance battle right here?” You say confidently, before your start to giggle. You slowly look up at him only to see him glaring down at you jokingly, you reach up pressing a red gummy to his lips. You can’t help the belly laugh when he quickly nips the gummy out of your fingers nearly biting you.

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Finally, back home, he made the noodles as soon as you stepped into the house. Both of you singing loud to the music that plays in the background. You switch back and forth between both bags of chips, doing a happy dance when the flavors hit your tongue. His giggle pulls you from your food daze.

“Why are you laughing at me!” You push your lips out pouting as you crunch.

“Your little food dance, it’s one of my favorite things you do,” He imitates you with your little butt wiggle you do while he brings his noodles to his mouth.

“That’s not it,” you giggle showing him what you actually do, “you have to move your shoulders too!” You demonstrate taking a bite of your own noodles.

“Why are you so cute?” He giggles. You shrug cutely before poking your cheeks with your fingers. When you finish eating, he takes your bowls to the sink, and you decide to make your way over to his side of the counter. He turns around after washing the two dishes. You lean into his chest and he wraps his arms around your shoulders, leaning forward to take in the clean smell of your hair before kissing the top of your head multiple times.

He tugs at your chin so you’re looking up at him. He brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, lightly pushing your hair behind your ear, “You seem more like yourself now,” He presses his lips to yours lightly.

“What do you mean?” You ask, pushing yourself up so you can steal another kiss.

“Earlier, you asking to go out. I’m still confused about that…” He grazes his thumb over your bottom lip before looking into your eyes. You could tell that a part of him was worried. You sigh, knowing that it was out of character for you.

“So… maybe I thought that you wanted to be out partying,“ you try to pull back but his arms are around you tight, “Like Tae and Jimin are, with all of those beautiful women.”

His brows nit together as he processes your words, “Why did you think that?”

You take a deep breath deciding to tell him about your frequent insecurities. All of your fears and doubts about your perfect relationship, you told him all of them. He listened closely with his arms secure around you the whole time, his grip never faltering.

“Just… you know, I want to make sure you’re happy with me, so you don’t want to find someone who can make you happier,” you mumble, his face melts with the last sentence.

“Baby,” Its all he says, shaking his head slightly, “You make me, so happy. So happy sometimes that I wonder if this is real.”

“You’re so perfect for me. You know, a free-spirit, with a wild heart,” He sighs deeply cupping your cheeks in his hands, “I just want someone real, someone true.” He murmurs pressing his lips to yours again. He pulls back slightly before leaning in to hover just above your ear, “I need you to smoke with me baby.”

You smile, letting him pull you to the couch. He sits in the corner of the couch pulling you close to him, while he lights the joint that sits on his lips. Inhaling deeply before passing it to you. You both finish it off, and before you know it you’re laughing about who knows what. He pulls you onto his lap, you set your legs on both sides of his. Your body feels warm, maybe it’s because of high, or maybe its because of how much you love him.

His eyes are heavy as he stares up at you his fingers finding their way beneath the loose t-shirt on your body, “Are you happy with me?” He asks out of nowhere, “is there anything I could do to make you happier?”

You take a deep breath, the THC making it hard for you to think too deeply about the answer. You didn’t need to think hard because it was simple, you were happy.

“I just want the simple things,” You say quietly leaning forward to capture his lips in yours, “Someone to smoke with me, laugh with me, lay with me,” You kiss him between each phrase, you pull back to make sure he has your attention, “I just want you.”

He smiles big, taking his hand and wrapping it around the back of your neck to pull you close to him. You brace yourself against his chest, noticing the way his heart feels like it might beat out of his chest. His lips attach to yours but this time it’s needy. He presses into them letting his tongue dance along your lower lip. You feel him start to harden beneath you, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding down onto him. The moan that finds its way from his mouth to yours makes your body weak.

He pulls you closer to him, bringing himself forward on the couch. You wrap your legs around his waist, as he gently pulls his t-shirt from your body. Palming at your tits as soon as his eyes hit them. You throw your head back and he leans forward to leave love bites on the column of your throat. You reach forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair; tugging softly. He pulls you impossibly closer, your clothed heat pressed against his hard on. You moan into his mouth when he starts to kiss you again. Bucking your hips into him, he pulls back and brings his lips to your sensitive nipples. Massaging your left while his tongue teases the right, then switching. His hand slides up to your throat and your eyes finally meet his blown-out pupils, full of lust and love. His fingers tighten around your throat while he holds you close to his body with his other arm. He turns you both, leaning you back until your laying flat on the couch. His hand still firm around your throat, he leans forward to kiss you again; pressing his hard on into your groin making you whine.

He smiles before nipping at your neck, still pressing himself into where you need him the most. The friction is making you crazy and he knows it, “Baby…” you whimper and he lets out a quiet laugh into your skin. He moves down your body slowly, leaving hickeys in his path, “What baby? What do you need?” He coos, instantly snapping his hips into yours. You throw your head back whining again, “Come on princess, use your words,” He laughs again before sucking the skin of your thigh into his mouth. The purple mark is fresh compared to the dull ones from the nights previous. It’s like it’s his own private masterpiece, he runs his thumb over it before sitting up between your legs. He looks down at you and cocks his head, your bottom lip comfortably in-between your teeth. His fingers slide under the band of your sweatpants and he starts to pull them from your legs antagonizing slow. You wiggle your legs trying to speed up the process, only making him slow down even more.

“Mm no panties?” He licks his lips as notices how wet you are, ”Tell me what you want baby,” He says again, pulling the sweatpants from his own legs.

“I want you to fuck me, Kookie.” You lean forward reaching out for his hard cock, but he wraps his hands around your wrist. Pushing them into the couch, as he hovers over your body. He looks down at you, as the tip of his cock teases your clit. Your eyes are drawn to the way the veins in his biceps are popping out, then to the way his abs flex each time he thrust forward, “Please.” You beg finally meeting his eyes, and they seem to soften at your magic word.

Reaching down he lines himself up then slides inside of you torturously slow. Both of you inhaling deeply when he bottoms out and stops. Something you both loved the feeling of in general, but when you were high it was comparable to euphoria.

“You feel so fucking tight for me princess,” He moans pulling back, dragging his cock against your walls. You want to respond but the words hang on your lips, all you can formulate is whimper. Leaning forward on his forearms on each side of your head, he nudges your face to the side. Letting his teeth graze the shell of your ear. The sound of his moans and whimpers was enough to through you over the edge. He feels it when you start to tighten around him, his teeth finding the juncture of your shoulder and neck. Pressing his lips delicately before he starts to suck hard.

“I-Im so close, please,” You start to beg, you don’t know what you’re begging for exactly, but you have a feeling that he does. He quickens his pace, leaning up and pressing your thighs further apart. He takes his thumb to his mouth, collecting his spit before rubbing it into your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Your hips start to buck up into his thrust, having a mind of their own. He takes it upon himself to pull your hips up to his, the new position making your body react instantly.

“Right there! Oh fuck, right there Kookie!” You yell out, warmth spreading through your body from your toes to your fingertips. The familiar tight feeling in your abdomen tells you that your close.

“Fuck princess, cum with me!” he moans and just like that your body starts to shake. An orgasm hitting you like a semi, the warmth that was running through your veins turns into something new. He holds your legs still, spilling himself inside of you. The feeling alone makes you feel like you could cum again. He thrust inside you a few more times, each time your body spasming.

He pulls out admiring the way his cum drips from you, taking his fingers and pushing it back inside of you. You spasm at the action, making him giggle, “You came so hard, didn’t you princess?” He asks you, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before he starts to get up to find something to clean you with. You nod, grabbing his hand quickly before he gets too far. He looks down at you, “Lay with me, baby.”

He pauses and smiles down at you before squeezing himself onto the couch next to you, “You’re still messy,” he says.

“I don’t care, I need you close right now,” You explain before burying your head into his chest. You feel his chest rock as he laughs at how fucked out you are. It didn’t happen every time but, sometimes he fucked you so good that you felt emotional afterwards. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and you just wanted him to hold you. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your scalp with his fingertips.

“I love you so much, baby.” He says softly.

You hum into his chest, “Love you too.”

After about an hour of naked cuddling, you ask him if he wants to take a shower. He instantly perks up, wrapping you in his arms carrying you to the shower.

“If you think I would ever choose a night out over a night like this, you’re insane.”

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𝙰/𝙽: 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔! 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎!

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[beels-burger-babe]

I Love Him - Chapter Three (DRAFT)

***I still haven't gotten around to writing anything because I've been crazy distracted today, but here is chapter three my book that I am attempting to write. Hope you like it, and sorry for the lack of content. So if you will, allow me to tell you more about my gay son Arthur and his adventures in 1958 London.***

Chapter One, Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Geneviève Blanchard was a fascinating woman. She was a talented seamstress and businesswoman who had attracted Arthur’s father to her establishment, Coutures et Fils/ Seams and Threads when Arthur was just a child. She was a spirited woman whose loud antics and thick French accent would intimidate anyone at first, but her soul was as warm as her coloured skin, and soon enough she’d wormed her way into the cold hearts of the Howell family.

Just standing in front of the lavender boutique now, Arthur could feel a familiar warmth resonate in him. This boutique had become more than just a store to him; much like Gen had become more than just a seamstress. It was a second home, and the seamstress inside of it had become his second family.

Arthur entered the shop with no hesitation. “Geneviève?”

He heard a sharp yelp come from a curtained room behind the front counter, followed by a string of rapid french. “Pardon! J'ai été pris par surprise!” There was some shuffling of fabric he heard shouted back. “You know better than to come in shouting for me, Arthur! You will wait your turn.” and then some more muffled apologies, presumably to her client.

Arthur chuckled and looked at the suits and dresses that Gen had on display. He always admired the passion and craftsmanship she put in every piece.

Somedays, when she’d work on a project as they conversed, he couldn’t help but wish that he could pursue work that was as fulfilling and personal as tailoring was to Geneviève.

He was torn from his thoughts as Gen, with her dark greying hair perfectly coiffed as always, entered the room with a soft, redhead woman behind her. She placed a dark purple bag onto the counter and worked the cash register. “That will be £3.00, mademoiselle.” The woman quickly fetched the money and paid before gathering her things. As she left the store, she eyed Arthur standing near the suit display and huffed before leaving.

Arthur raised an eyebrow as he turned towards Geneviève and was met by a cold glare. He awkwardly smiled at her and waved a hand. “Hi Geneviève.”

The woman sighed and made her way over to him. “Arthur, you know you are always welcome here, but you are also aware that I run a business. You cannot just...just…” She looked down at her hands frustratingly as she tried to think of the word. “Comment dit-on éclater?”

“Burst?” Arthur provided, smiling slightly.

“Oui! Burst! You cannot just burst into here calling for me. This is a high-class establishment.” She trailed off of her rant as she noticed something on Arthur’s shirt. She huffed and brushed the lingering muffin crumbs off of his chest. “And to do so looking like that! What is this?” She asked, holding up a particularly large crumb for Arthur to see. “I thought you did not eat desserts? You refused mon pain d’épices the last time you visited because you said it was not healthy.” Geneviève narrowed her eyes at him as she took in his face, and her expression softened, “Tu t’en sors, mon chou?”

Arthur groaned, opened a door to his right and entered with the seamstress following close behind. Arthur took a seat on one of the purple velvet consultation couches while Geneviève made tea. “I’m fine, Gen. It’s grocery day, after all, so what do I have to complain about?”

She glanced up at him suspiciously. “Then why are you eating desserts and coming to me?”

He flashed her a charming smile and leaned forward, “Can’t I visit my favourite woman in all of London, without a reason?”

She placed a teacup on the coffee table in front of him and sat down beside him. “Always, but this visit is not without reason. We’ve already juggled your secret. I’m sure that whatever this is will be much easier.”

That much was true. Geneviève was the only person who knew Arthur was gay. It was 1953, and Arthur had been eighteen when he told her; he had picked up a paper in her consultation room only to see the headline declaring Sir John Nott-Bower’s mission to weed out the homosexual population of Britain and just started shaking. Gen had asked him if he was alright, and it all came slipping out. After ten years of keeping that secret, he was bound to break down eventually. The seamstress was incredibly supportive. She had closed the shop for the day and let Arthur talk honestly about everything he was feeling for one of the first times in his life. Committing homosexual acts had been decriminalized in France since 1791. It still wasn’t very socially accepted, but neither, Gen had explained, were independent black women such as herself.

Five years had passed since then, and Gen was still his biggest and only ally.

Arthur sighed and took a sip of the tea. “I just wanted to buy some bread.”

Geneviève tilted her head at him as she took a drink of her own tea. “Oh, and you weren’t able to get some? You get your bread from Wilson’s bakery, correct? I heard they had to close for a while, since Mrs. Wilson finally gave birth to her baby.”

Barely paying the words any mind Arthur nodded along. “Right. Which meant I had to find a new bakery. Which I did. So there’s no problem.” He heatedly took a larger gulp of his tea only to hiss at the temperature of it and immediately set the teacup down.

The seamstress analyzed him with a questioning glance. “I do not understand. You are still upset. Was the bread not good?”

“No!” Arthur quickly shouted, sitting up and turning directly to the seamstress. She gave him an unimpressed look, causing the man to fluster at his own actions. “I mean, yes. I-I don’t know, I haven’t tried it yet. But the muffin-”

“So you did eat a dessert!” Geneviève proclaimed in an accusing, but amused, tone.

Arthur whined in frustration, his hands now being thrown in every direction as he tried to express himself. “Yes! But only because that bloody baker wouldn’t stop smiling at me and talking about food like it was his best mate. I couldn’t say no!”

As the outburst ended, the two went quiet for several beats as Gen slowly began to grin at Arthur over the rim of her teacup. “I imagine he had curly hair then? You seem to like the ones with curls.”

The man fixed the older woman with a glare as she began to cackle. Arthur shook his head, muttering to himself about crazy women while he sulked. Geneviève calmed down eventually and placed a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “I am teasing, mon chèr. I guess I do not fully understand the problem. So you looked a little silly in front of a cute boy? It is not as if you have to see him again, right?”

Arthur huffed and picked up his tea for another sip. “Or so you’d think. That bakery, Gen. It’s like it’s untouched by all the gloom and change of England. Everyone in there was so relaxed and the food was just...brilliant.” He relaxed at just the memory of the place. “There isn’t another place like Blooming Confections in the world. Cute cashier or not, I know I’ll be returning.”

Geneviève smiled tenderly at him. “I’ve never heard of it. Perhaps you can take me some time, or just bring me some macaroons if they have any. I can’t make them, and I haven’t had any good ones since I’ve left France.” She sighed and stood up as she wiped her hands on her work apron. “But in the meantime, if you really do want to go back, at least this time you’ll know that he is there and won’t be as surprised.”

Arthur stood and pulled Geneviève in for a small hug. “If they don’t have macaroons, I’ll pay extra for them to make a custom batch. You’re the best, Gen.”

The seamstress chuckled and patted his back and she pulled away. “Yes, I know. And you are a helpless fool, but at least you are a handsome one.” She reached forward to wiggle his nose teasingly as she spoke, before pulling back and clapping. “Well. I have dresses to make, and you should head out.” She glanced at the clock and frowned. “It’s just about twelve now. Don’t want to keep your father waiting for too long.”

Arthur followed her eyes to the clock and tensed. “No, I suppose not.”

[reversemoon255]

(From September 2020 to February 2021, I worked on a Pokémon themed Dungeons and Dragons campaign for a few friends. We didn’t get very far, but I put a significant amount of work into the world, story, and several Pokémon that would appear throughout, including an original set of starters. I want to to leave some record of my work, so I thought I’d write a few summary posts. And while I designed these Pokémon, their fantastic art was done by @extyrannomon on Twitter. I highly recommend you check them out.)

Dungeons 'n' Dragonites - Phase 1: Hello Stelopy City

Our story starts in Stelopy City, located in the Wellou Region. We get a brief introduction from DJ Tomomitsu, a radio host, before each player got their own brief story segments. Our first player was Ethan, as aspiring chef, who lived on campus at his high school. Ethan was approached by one of his dorm mates with a favor (to get him out of the building), as well as having an attractive girl meandering around the kitchen (if he wished to try flaunting his culinary skills). He would then get to choose to either finish up his side-quest or go to the local fisher's market, with him transitioning between those locations taking him to the area where he would meet his starter Pokémon:

"As you enter the alleyway, the walls are covered floor-to-ceiling in moss that seem to appear as soon as the shadows overtake the sunlight. The farther you walk, the more weeds you see popping through the cracks. Once you reach the half-way point, you come to a small open space. With the sunlight now flickering down through the plants brave enough to venture off the verdant walls, the entire area shines a bright, emerald green. In the center of this area is a decently sized fountain. It's no longer flowing, but there's a decent amount of rain water filling it up close to the brim. As you approach it, even through the murky iridescent waters, you can see a thick, fuzzy amount of lichen growing all throughout the inside of the basin. As you pass by the fountain, you hear an audible sploosh. Do you turn around? (Y/N)"

There he would meet the first of our new Starter, the Grass-Type Flymph. I kept it secret that I was doing original Starters. Part of my personal excitement in planning everything was the eventual reveal of these designs I had created. Kept me going when things started feeling like a grind.

Our second player, Johnny, started off at home, woken by his father asking him to run an errand. After being able to talk to his family a bit, he proceeded to a somewhat beaten-up house on the edge of the Pokémon-overrun abandoned district where he would receive some boat parts before leaving and the sidewalk underneath him collapses. Stumbling around the abandoned subway tunnels for a bit, he would run into our second Starter, the Fire-Type Calfyre.

Johnny's player wanted to become an entertainer, which didn't give me a lot to work session one, so a lot of his opener was focused on expanding the world and giving everyone an idea of areas they would be exploring later.

Third was Orion who had a quiet morning at home before being provoked via text messages from his siblings to chase down a mysterious "Wailord in a Top Hat." This pursuit would also lead him to the fisher's market and the nearby docks, where, after just catching sight of his quarry, he would encounter the Water-Starter Squisque.

Orion's player wanted a lot of his story to be based on his relationship with his father, so most of his opening was based on reinforcing his family dynamic. Not home, everyone’s busy, focus on work. This particular Saturday was strange in that Orion didn’t have anything going on.

Our last player was Arthur, who also lived on campus. While our other three players started their segments in bed, Arthur was playing lacrosse. After having an opportunity to show off (or fail), he would be told by a friend that he had upset his girlfriend that morning (kitchen girl from Ethan's story), and needed Arthur to pick up her favorite dessert while he attempted to woo her for the rest of the day. After doing so (while being given a chance to explore some of the local stores) he encountered a hungry Houndoom who proceeds to chase him up a fire escape. Once up there he encountered our final Starter, the Fairy-Type Utaw.

After each player met their Starters, they would have a brief tutorial battle against three Pokémon they were advantageous against before running into each other, and were subsequently arrested for "stealing" Pokémon, which would cap session one.

=====

Let's talk design. Stelopy City is loosely based on Chicago, is a portmanteau of "Steel Canopy," and Wellou is a joke on Illinois. The vast majority of the campaign was to take place in this location. Most of my players had very busy schedules (so busy it took us three sessions to get through the above opener), so DJ Tomomitsu was a way for me to easily start each session with a list of things to do (side-quests), and they as a group could decide which they were the most interested in based on time. Tomomitsu himself was based on DJ Sagara from Kamen Rider Gaim, with Tomomitsu being the name of the actor who played him.

As for the starters, I tried to stick to the reoccurring themes we’ve seen over the past 8 Generations. Flymph's name is a portmanteau of Dragonfly, Errol Flynn, and Nymph (the larval form of a Dragonfly). He's meant to be a special attacker, but, like an early DND Wizard, doesn't have access to a lot of them so he brandishes his sword-like arms to intimidate his foes instead. His diet consists entirely of lichens, algae, and similar flora, storing them in his transparent stomach pouches, and can be seen sunbathing in the water, belly up, feeding the plant matter the sunlight they need to grow. He also does not like Bug-Types, and isn’t Bug himself because of Grass/Bug’s myriad of weaknesses (for balancing), plus he changes Types after his first evolution. The theme of Grass Starters is extinction, which won’t become clear until his final evolution, but you may be able to guess how he relates.

Fire Starters are themed after the Chinese Zodiac, and of the remaining four yet to be used (including Snake, Ram, and Horse), I went with Ox. Calfyre's name is a play on Calf and Fire, and is meant to play like a Barbarian. When it comes to personality he's very timid and unsure of himself like a first-time DND player might be acting in a group. Unlike most Fire-Types, Calfyre lacks a Flame Sac. Instead, his spiral horns are filled with a freon-like liquid that, when swirled, rapidly absorbs energy from the air, which he uses for attacks. This chills the air around him, and makes him one of the few Fire-Types that are cold to the touch. Which sucks, because he’s a snugly sleeper.

Water Starters are usually themed after a weapon or character class. This usually shows in the later evolutions, but it's pretty obvious Squisque (a portmanteau of Squirt, Squire, and Bisque) is themed off a lance and shield. He's a paladin in both role and personality, charging in at the slightest sign of trouble, even if there isn't any real danger. It's the typical non-nuanced idea of what people think when they hear "Paladin." He was to a degree supposed to play a catalyst role, charging into situations the players may not want to in order to force them into helping people or combat if need be. He was also the first design I settled on, being based on an old Kaijin idea I had of a lobster-knight using its asymmetrical claws as different medieval weapons.

Utaw is unique, not just in that he was a fourth or Fairy Starter, but in conception. I was only supposed to have three players, but ended up with four. As such, his design is responsive to the others. Why a dinosaur? Because I had a mammal, crustacean, and bug, was unsure if I wanted a bird or reptile, and decided to meet half-way. Why is he Fairy? Because it has very little interaction with Fire, Water, and Grass, while still having defined weaknesses and resistances to certain types. (Also, this player wanted a Dragon-Type.) He’s based on a Utahraptor, hence the name, and is misspelled to include “Claw” or “Caw.” He’s meant to play team Bard, and uses sound moves. As for personality, he's a bit of a birdbrain who enjoys fighting. Not maliciously; it’s just fun, again acting like a new DND player who’s more interested in combat than role playing.

The idea with the personalities was that each Pokémon was supposed to start out like a rookie DND player on their first campaign. Not knowing how to play their class, being uncomfortable acting in front of a group, leaning too hard into your role without bending, or just fighting everything you see without diplomacy. It felt like a fun extra layer to each of these Pokémon that tied them just as much into the DND side of things as the Pokémon.

=====

Back to our story, after being briefly detained (mostly as an excuse to give the players time to introduce themselves to each other, something my DMs have struggled with), they meet Professor(-in-training) Bianca. The four Pokémon had been found by Silph Co., and had decided to donate them to the Unovan Pokémon Research Lab. However, after seeing the Pokémon interacting with these people, Bianca decides to give them up instead. "Pokémon should be with people," after all.

I had three side quests set up following this (after they all go to the DMV to get their Trainer's licenses). The first was a general "there's wild Pokémon here" quest where they could train and catch things. There was a sale at the mall where they could get some cheap held items and have their first trainer battle, and an event at the fisher's market where they could win some free items and would lead into their first dungeon.

The dungeon was what I was hoping they would pick, and would have them chase a group of Poipole through a warehouse, with them having different battles if they chose to enter from the front or the back. After defeating them, the Poipole would be sucked through a spontaneously generating Ultra Wormhole, with a high enough perception check revealing a strange laugh, or on a 20 have them catch a glimpse of a grey Charizard O_O

From there it was a matter of coming up with (or possibly recycling unused) side-quests until we reached the point where the Starters were about to evolve. I had a few things planned; introductions to a few reoccurring NPCs, a field trip to the local museum where they would be able to catch a Yamask (and possibly learn something about the origins of their Starters), and a raid battle against a group of Onix who would recur through the campaign.

The end of Phase 1 would come about with another dungeon. In the middle of the night, Ethan and Arthur would be awoken by their Pokémon to a group of Durant having busted through the floor of the dorm and raiding their kitchen. Easily driving them off, their Pokémon would encourage them to pursue. Later, full party in toe, the four of them would explore the Duranthill. There would be a number of possible encounters, but only one mandatory fight before reaching the depths. In said encounter, while being surrounded by a group of Durant, they would receive unexpected help from this Pokémon:

With some interpretation, they would discover that this Princess Durant was afraid for the sake of her colony. A new queen had taken up residence there, and was commanding the Durant to attack the surface and steal food for her. With additional party member in toe, they would descend further with better direction, eventually discovering the lair of the Queen Durant...

[amelialincoln]

“And a rather unfortunate scare in high school.”

Could you write about this please (Addison and Amelia)

2 Much

After dating Derek Shepherd for years Addison was used to his youngest sister’s outbursts. Derek had four sisters. This terrified Addison from the moment she found out, which was out of the ordinary because she wasn’t intimidated by much. Addison hadn’t grown up with sisters so she wasn’t surprised when her first encounter with each of them didn’t go as planned. Kathleen, Liz and Nancy had immediately taken a disliking towards her. They idolized their older brother and the idea of another girl finding her way into his heart was in no way appealing. Amelia, however, was different. Addison ignored the fact that Amelia initially only chose to get along with her to piss her sisters off and eventually the two became closer than neither of them expected. Amelia was like the sister she’d never had and always wanted and she had no problem taking advantage of the soft spot her brother's girlfriend had for her. Whether it was ear piercing, alcohol buying or pretty much anything, Addison couldn’t help but comply and slowly the two became closer and closer. She remembered getting home one night after being at Derek’s and realizing Amelia had called Addison her sister. She knew from that day on that she’d always protect Amelia, no matter if she were dating Derek or not. Amelia’s outburst of the day happened at dinnertime. The family, including Addison, were sitting around the dining room table - they all ate dinner together every night, which was very abnormal to her - when Amelia burst through the front door.

“Always one to make an entrance,” Kathleen nudged Lizzie and the two of them laughed. Addison could tell that something was wrong as Amelia glanced at them.

“Are you joining us for dinner?” Mrs. Shepherd asked. Addison could hear the impatience in her voice. Amelia was never timely. The brunette shook her head in response and stormed up the stairs. Their mother sighed, setting her napkin on the table and began to get up from her seat.

“I got it,” Addison found herself assuring her. She motioned for Mrs. Shepherd to sit as she went to exit the dining room.

“Addie,” Derek complained. “Let’s just finish dinner.”

“It’s okay, I’m not that hungry.” She gave him a quick smile before following Amelia up the stairs. She found the youngest Shepherd cocooned in a pile of blankets on her bed, tears falling from her eyes. She entered the mess of the bedroom quietly and went to sit beside the shaking teenager.

“You okay, Amy?” She’d picked up Derek’s nickname a couple of weeks ago. Amelia said it was fine but if anyone else other than she and Derek started calling her that, she wouldn’t be too happy.

“Yeah, I’m great.” She rolled over, obviously not wanting to be bothered.

“Is this about that teacher again? You’re a month away from finishing grade eleven, it’s doubtful you’ll have him again next year.” 

“I went to the counsellor and got him in trouble, that’s not an issue anymore.” She shrugged. There was the Amelia she knew so well.

“Well then what’s wrong?” A pause between them lingered for a while before Amelia started sniffling again. “Look, Amelia, you know I don’t judge--”

“I think I’m pregnant,” the brunette blurted out, surprising her. She whipped around to meet Addison’s slightly stunned expression. “See, you’re judging.”  

“I’m not.” She tried to look less concerned. “Is this with that senior?”

“Jack,” Amelia confirmed, placing her head in her hands. “I wanted to break up with him. He got all mad so we took a break for a couple days. I saw him on Saturday night at Isaac’s thing. We were drunk...and horny. Apparently he did stuff to the condom? Why would he...I don’t understand...I trusted him,” she began to sob heavily.

“Oh, babe, I know you did.” Addison wrapped her sister in her arms protectively, trying to conceal how furious she was. She knew Derek could fuck that pathetic kid up but also knew that Amelia would kill her if she ever told Derek she was even seeing the guy. Derek had heavily advised against dating Jack from the beginning and, of course, had been very right. “Do you have any symptoms?” Amelia groaned, she hated when Addison and Derek went all “first year medical student” on her. “Amelia, I’m serious.” Addison found herself raising her voice.

“I dunno,” she yelled. “You’re supposed to be on my side. Why are you getting mad at me?”

“I’m not getting mad,” Addison sighed, arguing with her sometimes was impossible. “Are you on birth control?”

“My doctor said if I was on birth control I couldn’t smoke. Blood clots or something?” She glanced at Addison who nodded. “She said condoms would be fine if we were careful.” She refused to look at Addison. “I trusted him.”

“You need to take a test.”

“My mom tracks all my bank statements after she caught me e-transferring that guy for weed, I’m not buying a pregnancy test.”

“I’ll buy it for you.” Addison stated it as if it was obvious. “Let’s go now, my car is here and you can take it at my apartment.”

“What if Derek comes by?”

“I think you’re forgetting that your brother does exactly what I tell him to do.” The med student laughed despite the situation they were in and Amelia started to giggle as well. “Now get your ass out of bed and let’s get out of here before your sisters start asking questions.” She extended her hand and breathed a sigh of relief as Amelia let her lead her out the front door.

Amelia followed Addison into the pharmacy nervously. She was surprised when Addy walked directly to the isle she was looking for and wondered if she’d had a similar experience. Her brother’s girlfriend was too smart for that though, she’d never get herself into the mess that Amelia was in. But by the amount those two fucked, (the room that Derek was in before he moved out was unfortunately right beside her’s) she couldn’t help but wonder if they’d ever had a scare. Addison held up two tests, breaking her from her train of thought.

“Do you want anything else? We could grab some snacks and watch a movie or something tonight?”

“We could stop by the liquor store.” 

“Amelia,” Addie sighed, trying to hide her disappointment. She felt guilty in a way, Amelia had been getting a little out of hand lately and she couldn’t help but think that she was the one that started buying her alcohol in the first place. “You have school tomorrow.”

“So do you and you were having wine with dinner,” Amelia taunted back. Addison could tell she thought she was going to convince her.

“Amelia, it’s different. I don’t have class until eleven. Your school starts at eight.” She shook her head as they made their way to the cashier. “And one glass of wine is not the same as your heavy drinking.”

“Addison Montgomery?” A familiar voice called from behind them.

“Mrs. Hastings?” Addison grinned as she recognized her former teacher from undergrad. “It’s so good to see you!” The physics professor leaned in for a quick hug. Addison had idolized the woman from day one. She was the youngest professor she’d ever had. Her success had comforted Addison. It made her feel confident in such a male based profession.

“You’ll be a great mom.” She squeezed Addison’s hand. Amelia suppressed a snort as Addie glared at her.

“Uh, thanks!” She held up the tests awkwardly.

“You’re still with the Shepherd guy I assume?” Addison had never wanted to leave a conversation more. “That will be a stunning kid.” 

“Hope so!” She laughed awkwardly.

“Just don’t let anything get in the way of your success.” The professor warned. “You’ll go on to do amazing things, Addison.”

“Yes...um, that’s true,” she coughed. “Well it was great running into you.” She tapped her credit card as the cashier handed her the plastic bag. “Have a happy holidays.”

“Happy holidays?” Amelia was wheezing by the time they left the store. “It’s September.”

“Shut up.”

Addie had ended up giving in to Amelia’s requests for alcohol. She poured two small glasses of wine as she waited for her to come out of the bathroom. Amelia finally came out holding both tests. She set them on the counter and they both waited.

“How long is it supp--”

“Like two minutes,” Addison shrugged, trying to hide her nerves. She really hoped she wouldn’t be driving her sixteen year old boyfriend’s sister to the abortion clinic tomorrow. Amelia let out a sob, bringing Addison back into reality. “You’re kidding.” Her mouth opened in shock as she grabbed the two tests. Negative.

“Sorry,” Amelia choked. “I just really thought…” she brushed off tears of relief. Addison wrapped her in a long hug. Silently thanking god. “This doesn’t mean I’m like unfertile or something right?”

“No, honey.” Addison sighed. “This just means you were very lucky.”

“Well that’s a first.” Amelia grinned.

[shutupandshipit]

Christmas Preemie - One Shot

Summary: Izuku smoothed a hand over Katsuki belly, smiling as it was kicked at rather viciously. “He’s been moving around a lot, hasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be crazy if he decided to be a Christmas baby.”

Fingers curling in Izuku’s collar, Katsuki brought their noses very, very close. “Don’t even joke about that, shithead. I’m not done baking this loaf yet.”.

....

Or where Izuku makes a joke and forgets to knock on wood.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T

Check out Coming Home if you haven’t already! It precedes this fic!

Author’s Note: So, I'm sure other places have Christmas Strolls, but I've never seen one outside my hometown. It's literally my favorite part of the entire year, but I haven't gotten to visit it in more than 5 years. I didn't mention the name of the street in the fic, but it is based on the actual Plumas Street and Christmas Stroll that's in my hometown. When you're imagining it, think of what main street for a small town would look like (except we haven't been a small town in many many decades). Also, before anyone mentions it, yes the tortoise from the pat store that's mentioned is an actual thing we saw often. They would tie a balloon to him to keep track or where he went. He was pretty freaking big (medium dog size), and if I remember correctly, he was over 100 years old.

It's Christmas day here in Japan for me, so have another Christmas fic. Anyway, enjoy! Stop by and tell me what your Christmas Stroll/Festival is like! (when there isn't Covid) Blessed Yule! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Whatever you're celebrating, I wish you a happy day!

"Daddy."

The whisper was just soft enough to wake him up, but not loud enough to startle him. Still, Izuku hoped if he pretended not to hear it, it would just end up being a dream. He let his face remain slack, his breathing steady.

A few seconds later before Izuku had even managed to doze off again, the whisper came again, closer this time. “Daddy, wake up.” Weight followed, two small hands pressing into his chest with all their weight.

“Sumi,” Izuku breathed quietly, still refusing to move and believe his daughter had woken him up, “It is very early and Daddy is very tired. Please go back to sleep.”

“But there’s someone outside the door. I can smell them.” The weight disappeared from his chest, but not the edge of the bed.

Groaning, Izuku pushed himself up and peeled his eyes open. Weak blue morning light crawled into the room from beneath the curtains. On the bedside table, blurry red numbers told him that it was only 6:22 AM. Katsuki was still dead asleep beside him, pillow covering his head while his hand lay protectively over his belly.

Sumi bounced anxiously on the edge of the bed, her protheses bare metal all the way down to her toes. She glanced between the door and Izuku. Her wild green locks were wilder than usual from sleep, a brush handle protruding over the top of her head at the back of her hair.

Before Izuku could move to extract it, a knock sounded at the door. Three short, but loud, raps. Both he and Sumi startled, glancing at Katsuki before each other.

With a heavy sigh, Izuku nudged Sumi off the edge of the bed and stood. He was just pulling a shirt over his bare torso when the knocking came again. Louder this time.

Izuku wasn’t someone who normally got agitated easily, but between the early hour and the jetlag, he was less inclined towards solicitude. Jerking open the door, scent flaring out strong and sharp, he growled, “What?” He felt Sumi press against the side of his leg, and glanced down to see her baring her teeth.

The man on the otherside was a burly looking alpha fellow with an overwhelming burning sage scent. Irritation made the scent sharper, less pleasant plant life and more like weed. His arms were crossed over his wide chest, murky brown eyes cut in thin slits. He was taller than Izuku by several inches, but Izuku had no doubts that he could still take the alpha down even without One For All. “Tell your wife to reel in her pheromones. I’ve got three alpha teens in the next room over, and she’s driving them nuts.”

Izuku glanced over his shoulder at the still form of Katsuki before pushing Sumi back into the room and stepping out to square up against the man in front of him. He smiled, sharp and dangerous, channeling every ounce of Katsuki he had stored in his veins. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? My English isn’t that great. I thought I just heard you say it’s my omega’s fault your boys can’t control themselves.” His English was almost as good as his Japanese after four years with Sumi and Katsuki and Shonetta every other day.

The alpha huffed, glaring down his nose at Izuku. “That’s right. You know you can’t bring omegas in heat to hotels in the U.S.”

“Wow! Amazing! You can’t do that in Japan either, and my omega isn’t in heat.”

“Whatever she is, you need to get her to reel in her fucking pheromones. I’m sure we’re not the only family being bothered.”

“I think,” Izuku started sweetly, “maybe, you need to teach your boys some self control. If they get riled up just from smelling an omega, I think the fault lies with their parents and not a family minding their own business in a separate room.” His smile could have cut glass.

The alpha bristled, face going red. “Why you-”

The door opened behind Izuku, and both alpha’s startled as a disgruntled Katsuki stepped up behind Izuku. “What’s going on? Do you know what fucking time it is, asshole?”

Izuku hadn’t heard Katsuki get up, and assumed Sumi had made the decision to get him. His protheses were attached, metal bare to the morning chill. Katsuki was also shorter than the alpha, but his presence was far more intimidating as he glared at him in all his pregnant glory. At eight months, Katsuki was deep into his pregnancy, and deeply over it as well. He had begun to swell at five months and hadn’t stopped.

“I’m just giving this man some parenting advice,” Izuku said, glancing at the other alpha whose face had drained completely of color.

Katsuki shot narrowed eyes at Izuku. “Yeah, sure sounded like it.”

“You’re Dynamight-”

“Yeah, what of it?” Katsuki groused. His eyes turned back to the alpha, looking him up and down with a critical eye.

Katsuki, pregnant and tired, was not someone a lot of people knew how to deal with. They’d set up the trip to visit Shonetta and Cynthia before they’d had the pregnancy confirmed. Izuku had suggested they move it either one way or the other around the birth to provide his mate with more comfort, but the paperwork had already been in route and tickets purchased. On top of that, Katsuki had been sure he was going to be just as small as when he’d had Katsumi. He had surpassed that stage two months ago.

The alpha seemed to shrink under Katsuki’s steady anger. “I, uh, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but you might remember my daughter? She was kidnapped while we were at the zoo, and you saved her before the guy could throw her into the lion pit.”

After a moment, Katsuki said, “Little red headed omega. Freckles everywhere. Presented very early at seven or something like that. Wouldn’t let any of the alpha heroes near her.”

A smile split across the alpha’s face, and Izuku wasn’t exactly sure what was happening here. “Yes! You were the only one who could get her to calm down enough to come out of the crevice she’d wedged herself in behind the statue.”

Katsuki considered the guy again, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame. “Right, now what were you saying about omegas earlier?”

Sumi pressed between them, eyes still narrowed at the man before them.

Red bloomed in the alpha’s face again, but this time it seemed to be in embarrassment. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all! Your mate was giving me some parenting advice like he said.” A door opened close by.

“Right.”

Izuku and Sumi glanced down the hall to see an omega girl of about twelve pop out of the door.

“Dad, Danny said- Mr. Dynamight!” She darted out, letting the door slam shut behind her. She gasped. “Katsumi!”

“Katherine!” Sumi shouted in return, wriggling out from between Katsuki and Izuku to jump around with the other girl, hairbrush still in her hair and all. “You’re so much bigger than me now! Do you talk to Ms. Bains anymore?”

While the little girls chattered excitedly with each other, Katsuki pointed at the alpha. “You, come here,” he growled threateningly, palm crackling quietly. Swallowing, the alpha stepped just a hair closer, and Katsuki snapped out a hand to jerk him forward until they were nose to nose. He hissed, “Get your fucking boys under control and stop blaming others for your short-comings. You’ve got a fucking omega daughter, and you’re spouting that rhetoric around her? Get your fucking priorities straight.”

“Y-yes, sir,” the man squeaked.

Katsuki pushed him away. “Great, now that we understand each other.” He turned, slowly making his way back into the room, but returned only a moment later with something clutched in his hand. “Hey, girl!”

Katherine perked up, trotting over to the three adults with Sumi’s hand still clutched in hers. “Yes, sir?”

“Here, something to make your brothers jealous.” Katsuki held out a bandana that their PR agents had specially made when Katsuki and Izuku had publicized their bond. Cut from one corner to the other, one side was green and black with Izuku’s signature bunny motif while the other side was black and orange with ‘X’ graphics. They’d brought a couple of the prototypes to give to Shonetta and Cynthia. “That’s the first like it. I sighed the ‘X’ in the corner, and I’m sure Deku would sign it too if you ask him.”

Katherine turned big brown cow eyes on Izuku, and he smiled as he turned to find a sharpie.

Behind him, he heard Katsumi shout, “I’ve got one too! We can match! We’ve got shirts too! I could send you one when we get home!”

“Would you?” Katherine asked excitedly. Izuku grabbed a pen and paper as well, returning. As he traded everything in his hands for the bandana, she asked, “Dynamight, can I feel your belly, please? I’ve never gotten to feel a baby move before.”

“Go ahead, kid.” If Katsuki Bakugou was anything, he was soft when it came to children and other omegas.

Izuku thought maybe it was something he’d never really completely get about his mate. He knew it had to do with biology, but he thought maybe it had to do with just Katsuki himself. He was gruff around the edges, but he had an ingrained instinct to protect those weaker than him. Then again, Izuku was softer than him when it came to children, so who was really to say.

Katherine stepped forward, pressing reverential fingers to Katsuki’s distended stomach before leaning to press her ear there as well. Sumi followed her lead, chattering all the while as the girls felt and listened. Katherine let out a high, girlish giggle as she pulled back. “He kicked me in the face! What a little bugger.” Still, she pressed her ear right back to where it had been. “You smell good, Dynamight, sir.”

“Well, heck, I hope so. How else am I supposed to keep this one around?” Katsuki jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Izuku who huffed out a laugh in response.

Laughing, Katherine took a few more moments before pulling away. She scribbled a cell number, email address, and physical address before exchanging the notepad for the bandana again. “One day,” she said very seriously, staring up at Katsuki with wonder in her eyes, “I’m going to grow up just as strong as you. I’m going to be a great omega hero like you!”

Her father seemed ready to protest, opening his mouth to say whatever had come to mind, but Izuku put his hand on his shoulder with another sharp smile.

Katsuki’s expression was soft as he patted her on the shoulder. “Hit us up when you’re about to intern in high school, and maybe I’ll be able to work something with Negative. Or if you choose not to be a hero in this sense, you can intern with her wife at the hospital as a nurse or a midwife. There’s a lot of avenues that you could take. Make sure you pick the one that makes you happy.”

Katherine nodded, just a quick bob of her head. “I will.” Before they could part, she wrapped her arms around Katsuki and then did the same to Sumi. When she pulled away, eyes finding her father, they went wide. “Oh no! I forgot. Danny said that the toilet is clogged and it’s leaking all over the bathroom.”

“Ah! What the hell!” The alpha threw his hands into the air, stomping towards the door she’d come out of.

With a giggle, she hurried after him. “Bye, Katsumi! Bye, Mr. Dynamight! Bye, Mr. Deku! Hope to see you again!”

As they disappeared into the room, Katsuki turned to Sumi. “Okay, little monster, time to get ready. Shonetta and Cynthia are supposed to be picking us up soon, and why is there a hairbrush stuck in your hair! Deku!”

Izuku gaped. “It was there when she woke me up! Don’t go blaming me!”

“And yet, I’m still going to.”

…..

-7 months earlier-

“Izuku fucking Midoriya-Bakugou, get your ass in here!”

It wasn't often that Katsuki called Izuku by his full name, and he nearly dropped the plate he'd been holding as Katsuki's enraged voice thundered from the bathroom. He and Sumi, now a stunning nine-year-old and growing bigger every day, caught each other's eyes across the kitchen counter. It had been what felt like years since Katsuki had yelled at him so ferociously.

' Papa's mad !' Sumi signed helpfully, eyes darting to the bathroom door before returning to Izuku.

' Yeah, but the question is how much ?' Izuku signed back one-handed, soapy fingers moving quickly through the air, ' And why ?'

“Fucking Deku!”

Izuku startled again, this time actually dropping the plate as he darted away. Sumi's laughter followed after him, but it did nothing to calm his nerves. “K-Kacchan? What's the matter?” he asked tentatively as he pushed into the bathroom. He paused just inside the door.

Katsuki sat on the edge of the sink, head cradled in his hands, fingers pressed to his eyes. The scent hit him next, sweet caramel and all-spice spiked with the bitter tang of bile and urine. Last was the quiet growling hum Katsuki seemed to be letting slip.

“Kacchan?” Izuku stepped completely into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Whatever this was, he doubted Katsuki wanted Sumi in on it just yet. “What's the matter?”

“Are you fucking happy?” Katsuki growled, but the edges were softer and fonder than Izuku normally received when Katsuki was angry with him.

That made him wonder; was Katsuki actually angry or just trying to hide something? “A-a-about what? What's going on?” When Katsuki jerked his head toward the toilet, Izuku stepped around him and stopped again.

Right on top of the lid, four pregnancy tests sat. Four pink sticks with four pink plus signs on white faces stared up at him.

He was crying before he'd even fully comprehended the sheer magnitude of what the tests meant. Inhaling a shuddering breath, he whispered, “How long have you thought...”

“A couple weeks. About a month, but I wasn't sure. Didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. Had to check after I puked though.” Katsuki still hadn't lifted his head, and Izuku turned to press between his knees, leaning in to lightly scent the top of his head.

“Kacchan, you really are?” he asked with a hiccup, throat thick and voice choked, “Really? You're not messing with me?”

“Tell me, in what world do you think I'd joke about this?”

A sob slipped passed his lips. “Really? You're really pregnant? Are...” he trailed off, fear coiling in his stomach right alongside the excited butterflies, “Are you mad about it?”

Katsuki released a heavy sigh, and dropped his hands. A smile pulled up the corners of his mouth, and he met Izuku's eyes. "No. No, I'm not, Izuku. Maybe it's just my stupid omega brain, but... I love Katsumi and I loved when she was a baby, and I didn't think it was going to feel the way it did. I didn't think I'd get another chance to feel that again. It's different having a baby and that changed my whole world. And this time..." Reaching out, he gripped Izuku's hips and pulled him close. "This time you'll be here to experience it too."

A torrent of sobs fell from Izuku's mouth, and he covered his face with his hands. Pressing forward, he wrapped his arms around Katsuki's neck to press his face into Katsuki's shoulder instead. "Kacchan, I'm so happy! I can't believe- I didn't think- I'm so happy!"

"Yeah, that's obvious, nerd," Katsuki said fondly, threading his fingers into Izuku's hair to hold him close. "Get it all out now. You're not allowed to be emotional for the next nine months. Got it?"

"That's totally unreasonable." Izuku laughed, breath sticky and wet against his own face. "But I'll try my best." He let out a breath, finally calming as he pulled back. “I can't wait to share these next months with you."

"You won't be saying that soon," Katsuki warned, but his smile ruined the effect. He pulled Izuku back in, this time for a kiss. And even though his mouth still tasted hideous, Izuku couldn’t have been happier.

Sumi burst through the door, eyes wild, hair wilder, hands popping around a phone screaming with Shonetta's voice. "I'm going to have a baby brother?" she screeched, launching herself between Izuku and Katsuki to try and get closer. "Let me touch your belly, Papa! I want to feel Taiyo move!"

"Katsumi!" Katsuki growled warningly as he pulled back to glare down at her, "How many times have I told you to not eavesdrop! Or answer my phone!"

Izuku was laughing though, stepping back to hoist her into his arms. "Sumi, you won't be able to feel them move for a long time. And how long have you had that name picked out? Also, hello, Negative."

Shonetta wasn't paying attention, screaming instead at Katsuki to pick up his phone so she could congratulate him. He didn't comply, ears red and face buried in his hands.

"Since I was three!" Sumi announced, "And I told Papa I wanted a baby brother like the other girls in my class!"

"And I told you not to hold your breath, you little monster," Katsuki growled before groping blindly for the phone. Removing his hand, he glared down at the woman on the screen with red cheeks and curled lips. "You tell anyone, woman, and it'll be the end of you, do you hear me?"

"I've already texted Cynthia."

"You know she's not who I'm talking about."

Izuku could hear the grin in Shonetta's voice rather than see it. "Well, the entire agency is congratulating you. Don't ignore them when they text you."

"Bitch-"

"Katsuki," Izuku reprimanded quickly, but Sumi was already preoccupied as she chattered away at Shonetta.

…..

-Present-

“Katsumi Bakugou-Midoriya, get over here and put your jacket on or I’m going to leave you here, and you’re not going to get to go to the Christmas Stroll at all.”

Izuku popped his head into the little guest room that Shonetta and Cynthia had set up for Sumi to use for the week they’d be in America. There was an air mattress on the floor with a rumpled pink comforter in the middle surrounded by two desks and numerous filing cabinets. Sitting on the edge of the mattress was Sumi, arms crossed over her chest in consternation.

“No! It’ll be too hot!” she shot back, “I can dress myself!”

“Clearly not if I’m having to tell you to put on more clothes because it’s going to be cold!” Katsuki snarled, out of breath as he glared at his daughter. He was gripping the back of a computer chair with one hand while the other pressed to the small of his back, face contorted with as much discomfort as it was irritation. “I’m not asking. This is nonnegotiable, and I’m not in the mood to be arguing with you.”

Sumi turned up her nose, and Izuku got a very sudden and terrifying flashback to Katsuki when they’d been kids. “No. I’m not wearing it.”

Before either could snap back, Izuku stepped into the room with a smile. "Sumi, you know you're not supposed to be arguing with Papa right now." He turned to Katsuki with a smile that softened as that now familiar warmth of seeing Katsuki swollen with pregnancy filled his chest. "Kacchan, please sit down if you're uncomfortable."

"I'm fucking fine," Katsuki snapped, but almost immediately blanched and slowly sank into the computer chair. "Fucking kid." Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back and rubbed a hand over his belly. Once, twice, soothing circles.

When Izuku looked back at his daughter, he found guilt twisting her round face. "Wait here for me, Sumi, and we'll talk about the jacket. I'm going to help Papa outside."

"Okay," she mumbled, ducking her head and tugging at the end of her long braid, "Sorry, Papa."

Izuku gripped Katsuki forearm as he slowly stood back up. "Not your fault, little monster, your brother just has a lot of energy like Dad."

She didn't lift her head, and they both sighed as they made their slow way out of the room, and out to the living room.

"Shouldn't have yelled at her," Katsuki grumbled as he sat down and let Izuku slide and lace up the orthopedic boots from Cynthia on his feet.

"There was a better way to handle the situation, yes, but traveling always makes you irritable. And you've been doing really well handling your anger throughout your entire pregnancy." Task completed, Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki's belly and got kicked in the mouth for his trouble. "I'll talk to her, and then maybe you can talk to her about why you were frustrated later."

Katsuki made a sound above him, and Izuku lifted his head to find his husband scrubbing at his eyes. Izuku pressed gentle fingers to Katsuki’s wrist, but it only made Katsuki's breath hitch. "You're so much better at this parenting thing than I am. What would I have done if you hadn't wanted to stay with us?"

Pregnancy hormones. Even eight months in, Izuku was still surprised by how wildly Katsuki's emotions could vacillate in a few moments. Anger to guilt to tears. Tears weren't something Katsuki was predisposed to, so each time Izuku found Katsuki crying over something, he always had to stop and think about his next step. Sometimes Katsuki would cry over something that made sense; pictures of Sumi in the hospital, a news story about children being lost in a villain attack, the anniversary of All Might's death. Sometimes, they didn’t make sense; the time he'd knocked the dish soap onto the floor, doing paperwork at home instead of at the agency because he'd had an appointment that day, watching Winnie the Pooh by himself while Sumi was at school.

Everything about pregnancy fascinated Izuku, and he felt blessed every moment of it he was able to share with his mate.

Standing, Izuku pulled Katsuki into his body, rubbing a hand up and down his spine. "We're a team, love, we've always been a team. This works because we're together. Even if I weren't here, I know you'd be nothing less than amazing."

They remained like that until Katsuki’s shaking slowed. After a moment, he whispered, “Deku.”

“Yes?”

“I want you suck your dick.”

Izuku felt his entire body flush from head to toe at the blunt word choice. He laughed, rubbing at his forehead. “How about we save that for later? I thought you wanted to go to this Christmas Stroll thing Sumi and Shonetta haven’t stopped talking about. Isn’t today the last night?”

Katsuki huffed against Izuku’s chest, fingers stilling where he’d pushed them up beneath Izuku’s shirt. “I would say ‘fuck it’,” he groused, using Izuku to stand back up, “But it’s Sumi’s favorite part of the season. The whole thing’s a fucking annoyance.” Which actually meant Katsuki enjoyed it, Izuku had discovered. “The things I do for that little monster and her godmothers.”

Izuku smoothed a hand over Katsuki belly, smiling as it was kicked at rather viciously. “He’s been moving around a lot, hasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be crazy if he decided to be a Christmas baby.”

Fingers curling in Izuku’s collar, Katsuki brought their noses very, very close. “Don’t even joke about that, shithead. I’m not done baking this loaf yet.” He pressed a quick kiss to Izuku’s lips before hobbling away towards the kitchen where Cynthia and Shonetta were singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs. “Sumi’s still waiting for you.”

Izuku put on his own shoes before returning to the bedroom. Sumi was still sitting in the same spot he’d left her, scrubbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her long-sleeved t-shirt as she sniffled quietly. "I'm sorry," she whispered miserably.

Sighing, Izuku picked up the coat -barely a sweater really- that Katsuki had been trying to get Sumi to put on and sat down beside her. "Why are you sorry?"

Her shoulders hitched, just like her father’s a moment ago, and mumbled, “Because I’m being a bad girl.”

Running a hand up and down Sumi’s back like he’d done with Katsuki, he asked, “Why do you think you’re being a bad girl?”

“Because I was arguing with Papa and made him start to yell and now he’s mad at me. I don’t want to wear my jacket because it’ll be too hot, but I just get so mad when he starts to yell. I can’t help it.”

“You’re a lot like your Papa, baby. He’s like that too, and it took him a long time to learn not to let that be his first response.” Resting his hand on the side of Sumi’s head, he pulled her into his body, pressing a kiss to her temple. “He’s not mad at you, he just wants to make sure you don’t get sick. Papa shouldn’t have yelled at you, but you shouldn’t have yelled back, okay?”

“Okay.” Sumi hiccupped, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder.

Izuku let the moment stretch until he heard Cynthia’s voice coming down the hallway. “Alright, so here’s what we’re going to do.” Lifting her head, Sumi sat back to meet his eyes, silent and resolute. “I want you to put on your jacket before we go outside, okay. No, no arguments.” He put up a finger when her mouth automatically opened to argue. “You can take it off again in the car. You have to put it back on before you get out of the car. If it’s too hot after ten minutes of being outside, you can take it back off, but I want you to carry it just in case you do get cold. Okay? Is that fair?”

After a moment of puff-cheeked disdain, Sumi huffed and muttered, “Yes.”

…..

When the others had said ‘Christmas Stroll’, Izuku had been expecting houses lit with strings of light and families marveling at them as they passed. Maybe a few groups caroling or selling hot chocolate.

Izuku was not expecting a full-on parade of floats and fire trucks and police cars with people dressed as Santa Clause and elves dancing to Christmas music over loudspeakers. He also wasn’t expecting an entire street to be shut down and blocked off to allow the crowd to walk from one booth or store to another. At either end of the street, live music played. One side seemed to be professional musicians while the other side seemed to be high school students and volunteers. Behind the makeshift stages, Christmas trees towered, dripping in tinsel and sparkling lights and handmade ornaments from the ornament making stalls off to the sides.

Each booth and store shone with lights, boasting their wares. There was a whole booth dedicated to olive oil, another to soaps made out of goat’s milk, another to hero merch that Katsuki wouldn’t let him linger at. There even seemed to be a gift wrapping stall every ten meters or so. The stores were all small family owned businesses of holistic shops, restaurants and one records shop.

Katsumi ran out in front of them in the jacket she’d been so against with Shonetta, laughing as they held hands and darted around other families. Cynthia paced Katsuki, close at his elbow to help at any moment.

“Papa, look!” Sumi shouted, pointing down the road, “The tortoise from Guisser Pets is out again! Oh, Cookie Tree has a booth! Can we please get some cookies and hot chocolate!”

“Sure!” Katsuki called back, “Go pick out what you want, and we’ll catch up in a moment. Do a baker’s dozen!”

Other patrons glanced curiously at him, the Japanese obviously foreign to their ears, but Katsuki didn’t seem to notice as Izuku pressed close against his side. “This is really nice. They do this every year?” Izuku asked.

“Every damn year. The agency usually helps out too,” Katsuki said, eyes scanning over the crowd, “Those idiots should be around here som-”

“KATSUMI!”

Izuku and Katsuki lurched forward on instinct, Cynthia’s hand shooting out to grip Katsuki’s arm, but they stopped as quickly as they’d started. Up ahead, a group of heroes lifted their daughter into the air as she screamed with laughter. “Katsumi! Katsumi! Katsumi!” they chanted, Negative already in the middle of the group not making a lick of difference.

For a solid moment, they stood watching. Then Katsuki strode forward, intent in every step. “Hey, assholes! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Izuku had heard Katsuki use English before -at the hotel, on the phone with Shonetta, to Katsumi when she got overwhelmed- but it was a shock every time. And every time it made him hot around the collar. He watched completely dumbfounded as Katsuki stopped in front of the group, hands on his hips, and subsequently as they engulfed him into their mist. “Ah, Kat!” they shouted, and Sumi popped from the group to dart to Izuku’s side, “It’s so good to see you! Where have ya been, fucker? Holy shit, you’re huge!”

It was a group of fumbling, laughing and crowing as they absorbed Katsuki into their ranks like he’d never returned to Japan in the first place.

Izuku stood with Cynthia and Katsumi, watching his husband interact with people in a way he never had before. Katsuki’s smile was wide and unrestricted as he wrapped one of the guys in a choke hold and rubbed his knuckles roughly over the man’s crown. As he playfully pushed at the shoulder of a small wolf-eyed woman with sharp canines, large triangle ears and grey bottlebrush tail. As a pair of twins with cotton candy pink hair and thin delicate claws pressed their ears to his belly to listen.

There was an instinctual need to ward off every person standing too close to Katsuki, especially the alphas he could smell in the air, but knew exactly how well that would go over. That didn’t stop him from pumping out pheromones enough to make others attending the stroll pass him wary glances before skirting as far around him as they could. Beneath his hand, Sumi giggled and reached up to grab his arm tightly.

“Calm down, tough guy,” Cynthia told him, hand on his arm as she pushed cinnamon dreads back over her shoulder, “You’re suffocating the crowd. They’re not a danger to your mate or pup.”

Izuku groaned, turning to meet her brown eyes. “I know that logically, but that doesn’t make me want to rip off their hands any less.”

‘ Protect mate. Protect pup. Mate close to birth. Vulnerable. Must protect. Run off threats. Protect .’ The litany of Izuku’s alpha was only interrupted when the group of Katsuki’s ex-coworkers started glancing around.

“Speaking of which, where is baby daddy? You brought him, right? Of course you did. No alpha worth his salt would let a mate as pregnant as you out of their sight. We haven’t met him yet! Let us meet the person who can handle you!” a burly man shouted to a crowing of assents from the rest of the group, “Come on, Kat, where are you hiding him?”

“My mate and husband , you absolute dickhole, is right over there,” Katsuki spat, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, “Can’t you smell him? Or are you as nose blind as you are stpuid?”

The group followed Katsuki’s motion, eyes landing squarely on Izuku. Immediately, his alpha went on high alert while his face flooded with heat at the attention. Their eyes stared at him for several long moments. Eventually, it was the woman with wolf eyes that spoke up first. “Honestly, Kat, I saw the news, but I thought it was a publicity stunt. I didn’t think you had your claws in Japan’s No.1 Hero Deku. Like what is that? Sumi, how could you keep this from us!”

“I didn’t! You just didn’t believe me!” Sumi shouted back, hands still wrapped around Izuku’s forearm as she bodily dragged him towards the group.

“Hey, assholes! He’s been mine since we were kids! And we switch between the top two spots all the time! Hey!” Katsuki’s teeth snapped viciously, a snarl splitting the excited atmosphere as he knocked aside someone’s hand who’d been reaching for Izuku. “Hands off. This is a no touch exhibition, fucking got it?”

“Ah, Kat, you’re too much like a territorial alpha,” the burly man said, setting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder.

This time, Izuku didn’t stop himself. He slotted himself between the man and Katsuki, and very deliberately picked his hand off Katsuki’s shoulder to give it back to him. “Like Kacchan said, this is a no touch exhibition.” He gave the group his widest and most lethal smile that put his sharp canines in full view. “Please stop touching my mate. I’ve been very patient up until now.”

The heroes roared with laughter, unaffected by either Izuku’s or Katsuki’s displays. The conversation devolved from there. Introductions were properly made. Chatter shot from one side of the circle to another. Santa hats were shoved onto Izuku’s and Katsuki’s heads from the good-natured group. Eventually, Shonetta dispersed the group to continue with their jobs. Sumi took off with the twins as they promised her cookies if she danced with them. Shonetta and Cynthia pulled back, and then it was just Katsuki and Izuku holding hands as they wove slowly through the crowds.

At the end of the street where the professional band was playing a slow sweet Christmas song, Katsuki allowed Izuku to pull him into a crowd of couples of every age and orientation. He wrapped Katsuki up in his arms and swayed them gently to the beat. The twins turned passed them, Sumi held on their feet, and Izuku smiled.

When he pressed a lingering Katsuki’s temple, he muttered, “You’re being gross. Stop.” Despite his words, he leaned into the gentle touch.

“I’m happy. I like it here. I like the whole celebrating together and the lights and how happy everyone else is too.”

“It’s one of the more enjoyable things to look forward to here,” Katsuki agreed.

Giggles rose from around them, and for a moment, Izuku thought it was because they were so tightly bound up in each other that they hadn’t realized the song had changed. Only, the song was still the same slow beat. They pulled apart enough for Katsuki to give the surrounding couples a dirty glare.

They weren’t looking at them particularly, but at their feet.

Sumi swooped in, eyes worried as she whispered, “Papa, did you have an accident?”

“What? No, I didn’t have an accident. I’m twenty-”

“It’s just… your legs are all wet and there’s a puddle under you,” she interrupted.

Katsuki and Izuku reeled away from each other, staring down between their bodies at the puddle beneath their feet. Izuku couldn’t understand how Katsuki hadn’t felt the wet, but he also couldn’t understand how there could be so much liquid and it not smell like urine.

Color drained from Katsuki’s face. “Katsumi, go get Cynthia and ask Shonetta to run to start the car,” he said slowly and deliberately.

“Why? Are you hurt?”

Was he hurt? Izuku was as lost as Sumi seemed to be, but Katsuki didn’t seem lost at all.

“No. Just tell them my water broke, okay, little monster?”

‘ My water broke .’ Izuku was suddenly far less lost, and both fear and excitement thrilled through him at the same time.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Katsuki seemed to struggle to smile. “I sure am, little monster. Just go tell your godmothers that okay. Tell them to be quick.” His fingers tightened exponentially on Izuku’s forearms, and as soon as Sumi darted away, he spat, “You just had to open your fucking mouth, didn’t you, Deku?” Unbidden tears spilled passed his lashes. “I fucking told you I hadn’t finished yet. Now, he’s coming and-”

Izuku cupped Katsuki’s cheeks in his hands, quickly wiping away the tears. “It’s okay, Kacchan. He’s a little early, but it’ll be okay. It’s not ideal, but we’ve got Cynthia and Shonetta, and everything went well when you had Katsumi here. It’ll be alright.”

“I know that,” Katsuki grit out, eyes squeezed shut, “But so many things can go wrong with a preemie. I just want him to come out healthy and happy. What if-”

Izuku tapped Katsuki’s cheek lightly. “Hey, none of that now. No ‘what ifs’. Taiyo is going to be just fine, alright, but we’ve got to get him here first.”

After another few seconds of just breathing and couples staring at them in concern, Katsuki opened his eyes. He was back to himself, the same hero who had faced down more villains than a lot of heroes could even boast about. With steel in his eyes, he muttered, “Get ready. I’m going to end up breaking your fingers tonight. I broke Best Jeanist’s last time.”

Izuku laughed, and then Cynthia was at their sides.

…..

Taiyo came into the world in the early hours of Christmas morning, and was almost immediately whisked away to the preemie ICU. They hadn’t even allowed Katsuki or Izuku to scent him before.

Now, with Katsuki fitfully sleeping under the sedative they’d had to administer to make sure he wouldn’t come after them, Izuku sat in silence. At first, he’d busied himself with making the phone calls he needed to. One to Inko, to Mitsuki and Masaru, to their agencies to inform them of what had happened so they would know that not only would they miss their flight, but also they’d be immediately beginning maternity/paternity leave. The last calls he made were to Ochako and Kirishima.

Hearing their voices, so cheerful and encouraging, made tears slip down his cheeks and words difficult as he explained to them the situation so far.

They both said the same thing. “Don’t worry, Deku, everything is going to be fine. Taiyo is going to be fine.”

He wasn’t so sure the longer he sat there without a baby in his arms. He didn’t even have Sumi there to hold, Shonetta and Cynthia taking her home and telling him to call when he finally had word on Taiyo. So, he sat and fidgeted and stressed and cried at the side of Katsuki’s bed. Eventually, he just crawled in next to him and snuggled close.

What felt like hours later, Katsuki began mumbling and shifting, eyelashes fluttering as the sedatives wore off. “Zuku. Zuku. Izuku,” he panted, eyes struggling to open, “Alpha- where’s my pup?” His fingers curled around Izuku’s already bruised digits again, grip slowly growing stronger as he came out of the drug induced stupor. “Where’s my pup? Alpha!”

Izuku sat up in the bed, quickly reaching to incline the head so Katsuki wouldn’t have to move. After jabbing his thumb into the call button, he settled back against the bed and ran shaky fingers through Katsuki’s sweat sticky spikes. “D-don’t worry. They’re just making sure he’s healthy. I’m sure they’re almost done.”

“I want my baby,” Katsuki whispered weakly, turning his nose into Izuku’s neck. He breathed out shakily, grip calming if only marginally.

“Me too. I called the nurse. I’m sure she has an update.”

When the nurse pushed opened the door, tugging a bassinet in behind her with the doctor in on the other side, it was deathly silent. There was no smile on either of their faces, and Izuku’s stomach dropped at the silence.

He could smell Taiyo. Spearmint and brown sugar. There wasn’t anything off about it, but the expressions on the doctor and nurse’s faces told a different story.

‘ Pup. Scent. Hold. Protect. Need to scent. Pup. ’ Izuku swallowed against his alpha’s rising aggravation.

“I want my baby,” Katsuki said immediately, struggling to push himself up straighter and reaching out his arms towards the bassinet, “Now.”

“Mr. Dynamight, we need to discuss something first-” the doctor started, but Katsuki wasn’t going to let him finish.

He snarled, loud and harsh, all protective omega mother. “Give me my fucking baby before I get out of this bed and hurt someone. You didn’t even let me scent him before you took him. You didn’t let me touch him or feed him. Give me my goddamn baby.”

The nurse and doctor exchanged a glance, but after a moment, the nurse carefully lifted the abnormally silent bundle into her arms and brought him to the bedside. Hesitantly, she passed him over.

Katsuki and Izuku reached for him at the same time, bringing him in close between their two bodies. His eyes were closed, but he snuffled quietly as if he could smell them as well. There was wispy blond hair on the top of his head, and when his eyelids fluttered, there was the barest glimpse of color. Newborn baby blue eyes.

Tears tracked down Izuku’s face as he pressed a kiss to Taiyo’s forehead and then Katsuki’s temple.

“Help me get this stupid gown open,” Katsuki muttered as he shifted Taiyo closer to his chest. Taiyo made a soft barely audible sound, tiny nostrils flaring as Izuku and Katsuki got him flush against Katsuki’s chest. It only took him a moment to latch onto the offered nipple. “Why was that so much easier than with Sumi?”

The doctor cut in before they could continue on ignoring the pair. “Mr. Dynamight, Mr. Deku, please, if I could have a moment of your time. This is very important.”

“More important than me feeding my pup?” Katsuki asked, voice saccharine as he smiled up at the doctor.

The doctor swallowed, but nodded and forged forward. “I need to discuss your options with you. I know that you two are very busy pro-heroes with one child already.”

“What situation are we talking about?” Izuku asked, “You failed to mention what the problem was when you took him from us. I understand that you had to make sure he was healthy, and I appreciate the good work you’ve already done for us, but if something’s wrong, we should have been told immediately. Not hours after the fact.”

Looking chastened and rather aggrieved, the doctor nodded. “Yes, but this is a rather delicate subject. We weren’t sure how, uh…” He cleared his throat, eyes flickering toward Katsuki.

“How I would react? Is that what you were going to say?” Katsuki sneered, mouth cutting a razor sharp line. “You think anything is going to make me not want my pup, is that it? Full offense, but you don’t fucking know anything about me. So tell me what you’re so worried I’m going to react badly over.”

Swallowing again, the doctor cleared his throat. Worry and fear pierced straight through his scent when before Izuku hadn’t even been able to smell the alpha. Katsuki really was marvel. “Your baby was born with a birth defect known as spina bifeda. Do you know what that is?” Katsuki and Izuku didn’t answer, eyes now trained solely on the doctor. Clearing his throat for a second time, he gave a brief explanation before saying, “From the tests we’ve run, we have determined that it’s not a severe case. His brain seems fully functional, no sign of water.”

“But?” Katsuki snapped.

“But... it seems the mobility of his legs is non-existent. As he grows older, the condition may worsen or it may remain the same. What we know for sure at this moment is that he’ll never walk normally. There’s only so much our healers can do, but if the nervous system just didn’t develop correctly…” The doctor trailed off, looking between the two silent heroes. “He is going to need a lot of care, more than two pro-heroes may be able to give him. There are resources-”

“Shut up.” The doctor went silent with a clack of teeth, and Katsuki sighed, running a finger over Taiyo’s chubby cheek. “Not even you’re normal, baby. Sorry, but you’ll fit right in. Between the four of us, we’ve got three legs, six and a half arms, three sets of working ears and four pairs of eyes. Welcome to this dysfunctional family. Merry Christmas, you little heathen.”

Izuku was sure he’d never been more in love with Katsuki than in that moment. Laughing quietly, he asked, “I get everything else, but why six and a half arms? I’ve still got both of mine.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, not looking up from Taiyo. “Yeah, and one of them barely functions. Hence, half.”

“Okay.” Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki’s cheek before turning to look back at the gawking doctor and nurse. “When can we take him home? Also, when can we get on a plane? We eventually have to go back to Japan.”

They could only sputter.

…..

“Katsumi Bakugou-Midoriya, you are not taking your brother on to the jungle gym. He’s too small right now. Bring him to me.”

With a huff, Sumi turned on a heel and returned to Katsuki and Izuku where they were sitting on the park bench with Kirishima and Mina. Their little boy, a few years younger than Sumi, pouted impatiently at the swings while Sumi very carefully unstrapped Taiyo and his papoose from her front.

“I know you want to include your brother in everything, but you have to wait for him to get bigger. It’s going to be a while before he can really play with you, alright?” Katsuki explained patiently, holding Taiyo up so Izuku could remove his papoose and sat him in his lap. Taiyo waved his fists, but had yet to kick out. Just as the doctor had said, Taiyo seemed to have no control over his legs, though he could still feel pain. After returning to Japan, they’d immediately started him on neuro-therapy, but they had no illusions that he’d ever walk normally. Now, they just planned for what they could do for him instead.

Sumi leaned in to press a kiss to Taiyo’s nose, and he crinkled his crimson eyes at her before batting at her with a closed fist. She laughed, dancing back with a whirl of skirts. “I understand. I’ll play with him when we get home then.” Spinning, she tore off across the playground and tackled her friend to the woodchips.

Mina laughed, phone at eye level as she recorded the entire debacle. “Yeah, that’s your guys’ child. Poor, Dai.”

Kirishima sighed, though happily, running a hand through his ever lengthening red hair. “Honestly.” He cut eyes towards the trio as Katsuki began to bounce Taiyo on his knee, the baby babbling nonsense the entire time. Reaching over, he allowed Taiyo to grip at his fingers. “You know, a lot of people are surprised. I keep trying to explain it, but no one ever believes Chako or me.”

“Hah? About what?” Katsuki asked, glancing away from Sumi to throw Kirishima a scowl.

“You know, that you kept Taiyo.”

“Yeah, even after all this time there are people who thought you’d give him up for adoption or something for being disabled,” Mina interjected, leaning around Kirishima to get her eyes on him, “I know you’ve been staying away from the news and stuff while you’re still on leave, but some of the headlines are absolute bonkers. When they ask me about it in interviews, I tell them straight up that everyone’s being an idiot.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, eyelashes fluttering spectacularly, and Izuku sighed. “That would be kind of hypocritical of us, considering,” Izuku said, glancing at Sumi’s legs, bare metal because she’d refused to put on the synthetic skin or leggings that morning. “But that’s besides the point.”

“I mean,” Kirishima started, mouth skewing, “I don’t think they ever doubted you’d want to keep him, Deku.”

“And I’ll tell those vultures the exact same thing I told the doctor,” Katsuki interjected before Izuku had a chance to speak, “People don’t know fuck all about me.” He dropped his eyes back to the baby in his lap. “Taiyo was the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten. The only people who need to know that are the four of us. Everyone else can shove their opinions.”

Izuku felt heat press against his eyes, and he dropped his forehead against Katsuki’s shoulder as Mina laughed and said, “You’ve gotten soft in your motherhood, Kats.”

Instead of his usual response, Izuku heard Katsuki say, “Yeah, probably.”

Izuku laughed happily against his shoulder, grinning like the in-love fool he was.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #434

“i hate this town, it’s so washed up, & all my friends don’t give a fuck  /  they’ll tell me that it’s just bad luck, when will i find where i fit in?”

You get a text from your ex. He/she wants to hang out. How do you respond? Admittedly, I would. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you secretly want to be more than friends with? No. Well, there are times where I think I WANT to like-like Girt, but I just don't. And yet he's always been there for me without fail, is super funny and kind and chill... but I think we were just friends for too long; he feels like my brother by this point in time. If your partner smoked, would that be a problem for you? If it was cigarettes, yes. Even weed (UNLESS it was for medicinal purposes and not a constant thing) I'd be iffy about. I just don't want to date a smoker. Lung damage is lung damage and weed actually has more carcinogens, and I don't want to sign myself up for all that. I don't want to watch my partner wither away from nonstop smoking and also have myself suffer from second-hand smoking. When will you next see your best friend? There's no telling. Right now I'm trying to be realistic and responsible with the money I DO ever get and put it towards more important investments, but I really do want to take a plane up there at some point. But that's also waiting until Covid is in the past. Heeeell no would I be stepping into an airport right now, even being vaccinated. How many tattoos would you like to have? Too many to count, ha ha. I want LOADS. Paint me, baby. :') Do you like your first name? I actually do. Have you ever talked to a boyfriend about an ex-boyfriend? Yes. It's kind of inevitable when you go into a new relationship, hoping it'll go well and be seriously invested, that you let your partner know "oh hey, this happened and seriously affected me to where I'm going to have 'my days.'" Greatest birthday gift you ever got? My snake Venus was technically a birthday present, though I obviously picked her out. Worst memory you have? Losing Jason. I can't say enough that the night of the breakup still doesn't feel real. First memory you can remember? My brother going down our slide into the Hurricane Floyd flood in our front yard, ha ha. I was around two, I wanna say? I don't feel like looking up the date of the hurricane. Oldest object you own? When did you get it? I'm sure that would be a stuffed animal we have stored away somewhere. Or my baby blanket, also safely tucked away. Meanest person you know? Why do you feel this way? I don't "know" Colleen anymore, but God knows she fit the bill. She was so fucking rude to people (yes, she was one of those people that bitched out store employees that have no control over things that inconvenienced her), the world revolved around her problems, she started drama with the damn grass... It's funny even picturing how she was my best friend once. My standards were lower for who I could befriend back then, but goddamn. Ever been dumped? By who? Yes, Jason. Technically Sara as well, but "dumped" seems like an unfitting term? Like we just talked it out and sorta mutually agreed that it was wiser that we weren't together at the time. Have you ever dumped someone? Why? Yes, mostly because I didn't like-like them. Juan was more so because I believed a rumor by Rachel, and Tyler, I just wasn't invested in and had NO desire to put up with the "we need to talk every five minutes" crap. Where do you buy most of your food? Wal-Mart. Last house you have been to: whose was it, and why were you there? My sister's, for my nephew's birthday party. Have you ever been a drunk driver? No, and fuck you if you've ever put others (and yourself) at risk like that. One kid you cannot stand? None that I know, and that's very few. Has anyone ever saved your life? Jason and Mom literally have. Last thing you cried about? Ha ha, I finished watching another SOMA playthrough earlier, and I will ALWAYS start to cry at the end. Without fail. Would you sacrifice your life for someone else's baby? I honestly think I would if it was a split-second decision. Tell me about your latest dream: I think my APAP mask wasn't positioned well last night, because I had a SHITLOAD of nightmares. Too many to even remember. Have you ever been in a limo? No. I've always wanted to experience that once, man. Have you ever been the maid of honor in a wedding party? No. Has anyone ever seen you naked? I was born naked, my man. Mom used to give my sister and I baths together, and I took a bath with a best friend once as a kid. Then one other person has. Do you have a calendar? If so, what is the theme of it? Not a current one, no. Nicest thing you have ever done for a complete stranger: I have no idea. Meanest thing you have ever done to a complete stranger: *shrug* Have you ever been sent to the principal's office? If so, why? And how did you feel? Yes, I think because they wanted to ask the reason behind all my morning tardies. I was soooo scared, just being a kid. Person you hope you never run into again: Colleen. Have you ever streaked? Heeeeell no. Why do you hate your ex? I don't hate any of them. What animal did you last pet or hold? Roman, my cat. What color is your hair? It's my natural brunette right now. I want to dye it SO badly. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms? Yeah. Have you ever had to clean a cat box before? Yeah, seeing as I own an indoor cat. Christmas is coming. Who are you buying gifts for? In the hypothetical situation where I had the money, I'd buy things for my parents, my stepmom, my two immediate sisters, Ash's kids, as well as her husband, but only because I'd feel obligated to as he's considered a close member of the family. I'd also totally get something for Sara! When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? SCARED. I get quiet, stutter if I do talk, and possibly cry. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? He was originally the singer of Black Sabbath, but he's been solo for forever now. I prefer him solo, honestly. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Ohhh yes. Mom still does, ha ha. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Nothing really "weird," I think... How long can you be in a car before wanting to get out? It depends on if I have my music or not. If I do, I can last hours, but if not, I don't really like being in the car at all. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora?No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? Creative writing, but I'm fine with both. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? I know OF someone who rescued I want to say a baby bobcat, or something along those lines, but I didn't know that guy personally. I don't think I've ever actually met someone with a truly *strange* pet... The most unique I've seen is probably just a chinchilla. If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? My eyes. I don't like them much, mainly the shape. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I loved the various Oregon Trail games, as well as one I think was called The Amazon Trail 3. Then there was a few dinosaur games I LOVED, and then there were the classic kids' games like the Putt-Putt and Fred the Fish series. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why. I don't even support that show existing. Pajamas with feet: yay or nay? NOOOOOOOO, that is so uncomfortable. What is your opinion on fruitcake? That's an even BIGGER "no." Who did you last dream about? I don't remember. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Yes. .-. I barely remember anything. Which animal can you imitate the best? I dunno? Have you bought any drugs this month? I don't do drugs, so. Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed? Nope, never will. Do you know the Soulja Boy dance? Ha ha, I did as a kid. My then-best friend, younger sister, and I wanted to learn it. I don't remember it now, that's for sure. What is the best ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry's "Phish Food" is GODLY. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? Teddy, my late dog. Do you clean when you’re upset? Hell no, I do the opposite: nothing. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? It stays open. My cat would pitch a fit otherwise. Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug related crash? Yes, actually. It was incredibly tragic; the both of them were high (maybe drunk, idr for sure), and my friend was driving with her best friend in the passenger seat. They crashed, and said friend's best friend died. For YEARS she would share pictures of them together on Facebook, "talking" to her, and it was just so heartbreaking. I doubt she's forgiven herself to this day, but she seems to have mostly moved on the best she could, being married with a daughter now. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I do NOT want one. I don't want some random stranger touching me in ANY way. Do you have a good relationship with your first love? No. We haven't talked in years, so maybe he feels no hatred for me at this point, but I do for myself. I don't hate him at all. Do you feel like you have life figured out? bitch hell no What would you do if you were faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (at your current age)? Was I raped? I'd almost certainly abort because I would be traumatized as FUCK. If it was my own fault, I think I'd go through with the pregnancy, but give the baby up for adoption. There is no way I could raise a kid right now. Or probably ever. Water or Gatorade? I don't like either, really, but I HATE Gatorade. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced twice, and I'm thinking of getting it redone again, but this time use a hoop instead of a stud to keep the damn piercing from falling out and closing in my sleep. Have you ever slapped someone? On the arm as a kid. That doesn't excuse it, though. Who are the pictures of in the room? I have a lot of posters, but no real photographs of anyone. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Dad did a lot of drugs before I was born, but Mom's never touched anything. I think. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? I'd love to live in Canada, if that didn't entail leaving my family. What is your favourite food from your culture? Cheeseburgers, alsdf;alwer Do you know any pick-up lines in a foreign language? No. What degree are you or will you pursue while in college? I've dropped out of college three times. I am never going back to major in anything. I changed my major quite a few times while I was there. Favorite arcade game? I don't really have one. One of my life goals is to go to an arcade that has Silent Hill: The Arcade, though. There are very few throughout the world, and it looks fun. Would other people consider your sense of humor inappropriate? I don't see how. Some inappropriate things can make me laugh, but it's definitely not my favorite form of humor, and I myself don't really make jokes of that sort. Who is your biggest celebrity crush right now? Mark Fischbach. :'') What are they famous for? He's a big YouTuber, aND WILL ALSO BE A MAIN ACTOR IN A SHOW NEXT YEAR. LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I would NOT stand for that bullshit. Do you have any gay family members? I know my mom's... cousin I want to say is gay. Somebody related to her is. Was your first kiss romantic? I feel like it was. What are you most likely to go to jail for? Pirating shit. Well, can you even be locked up for downloading minor shit? Shows what I know. Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship with someone else? Boy, have I. Would you ever get a boob job? When (or if...) I lose all the weight I want, I can almost guarantee a breast lift will be something I'd want. Certain things happen when you lose a shitload of weight alsdkf;alkwe Have you ever tried to break up anyone because you liked one of them? Not intentionally. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? If we're talking THE ex, safe to say I'd be shocked. Did you ever think someone didn’t like you, but come to find out they really did? It's weird, I've felt both ways with Girt? Like there were times I was pretty much 100% certain he liked me, but I'd also be like "nah, no way, he sees me as a sister." Turns out he like-liked me. Are you worried about anything right now? I can't possibly recall the last time I WASN'T worried about something. When you are home alone, do you still close the door when you shower? I don't shower when I'm home alone because I'm afraid of ever fainting and busting my ass again. What noise do you hear? I'm currently listening to "All Signs Point To Lauderdale" by A Day to Remember, and I can also hear my fan going. Do you go online everyday? Pretty much without fail. It'll probably be a cold day in Hell before I willingly don't come online, ha ha.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, December 14

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince William’s secret cancer crisis

Page 2: Chris Martin is caught between girlfriend Dakota Johnson and ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow who are both hawking sex toys -- Gwyneth is accusing Dakota of copying her Goop brand and she’s letting Chris know it loud and clear -- Dakota signed on as co-creative director with the sexual wellness brand Maude to launch a line of hip sex products and Dakota’s gotten wind of Gwyn’s whining and thinks she’s being ridiculous -- Chris is proud of Dakota and he feels for Gwyneth but he really wants to be left out of this 

Page 3: Martha Stewart has whipped up a new recipe for romance which is red-hot dates with a string of men ordered up online and she may be 79 years old but she’s still cooking with gas in the dating department -- Martha’s getting more dates now than she ever has and she’s saying it makes her feel younger and hotter than ever but all the guys know the deal that there’s no pressure and no commitment and it’s just for the fun and the good company because Martha’s not looking for a relationship 

Page 4: Just weeks after Blake Shelton popped the question to longtime love Gwen Stefani they have something else to celebrate as Gwen is expecting a miracle baby at 51 -- after years of trying and failing to have a child together new photos show Gwen sporting what looks like a telltale baby bump -- after years of enduring grueling rounds of IVF treatment without any success Gwen had given up hope of being able to conceive again and she and Blake even looked into adopting but their baby dream has come true naturally 

* Reba McEntire’s romance with actor Rex Linn is less than a year old but she’s already driving him crazy -- it was wonderful for the first few months but Reba is so controlling Rex is begging her to give him some space -- Reba wants to be together 24/7 and while Rex loves being with her he’s starting to find her a bit suffocating -- Reba also sees red whenever Rex mentions his former fiancee Renee DeRese and she’s worried Rex is talking to his ex when he’s not around and he has a good relationship with his ex and believes that’s none of Reba’s business 

Page 5: Britney Spears lost her bid to have her father Jamie Spears removed from a controlling role in her conservatorship so she’s spending whatever money she can get her hands on to exact her revenge -- Britney is worth about $60 million and she gets a very healthy stipend from that so she’s going through it like water to thumb her nose at her dad and her recent no-holds-barred trip to Maui to celebrate her 39th birthday was more than a little payback because dropping $50,000 on a birthday trip to Hawaii was a satisfying slap in the face to her dad 

Page 6: Matthew McConaughey is taking his midlife crisis to an all-time high by planning to do a stand-up comedy tour -- after baring his soul in a memoir the 51-year-old star is totally gung-ho about the comedy thing and he’s cleared his schedule and hired a coach to work on his timing and punch up his jokes -- he’s written a lot of jokes and tried them out on his wife Camila and friends but they’re already tired of his cheesy one-liners and dad jokes and fart gags -- Camila wants to be supportive but she can’t fake it and friends wonder if Matthew’s lost the plot and others claim he might get more inspiration is he took up smoking weed again 

Page 7: Grieving Bobby Brown worries he’s cursed after the tragic death of his 28-year-old son Bobby Brown Jr. -- his son’s death follows the deaths of his ex-wife Whitney Houston in 2012 and the couple’s 22-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown in 2015 -- Bobby has suffered through so much pain in his life and it’s left him feeling like he’s cursed and he’s a loving father who always does the best he can and what’s right for his kids but there seems to be no escaping tragedy -- no foul play is expected in the death of Bobby Jr. but the coroner has yes to release the cause of death but Bobby Jr. seemed fit and healthy and had never been a drug user and was excited about a singing career after releasing his first single in September

* Donny Osmond is heading back to the Vegas strip to do a one-man show without his sister Marie Osmond and she’s fuming over the betrayal -- Marie is still smarting after getting dumped by The Talk and she thinks Donny could have been sensitive enough to at least invite her to join him -- Marie’s jealous co-stars on The Talk drove her off the daytime chat show because they couldn’t handle being overshadowed by her -- Donny will debut his new solo show at Harrah’s in August 

Page 8: Doting Dolly Parton swooped in to save goddaughter Miley Cyrus from a meltdown after Miley trashed her sobriety during a boozy bender -- Miley has been on the wagon for six months after years of indulging in weed and alcohol but the boredom of lockdown pushed her over the edge -- Dolly has been a source of inspiration and strength to Miley during this difficult time and she’s never lectured Miley about her lifestyle only shown her unconditional love and understanding and that’s what Miley’s responded to 

Page 9: Lady Gaga hopes to tango with Brad Pitt and they’re close to making a love connection -- the two have been in deep talks about working on a big-screen thriller and the conversations have turned up close and personal because the two have more in common than people realize -- Brad has always been a huge music nerd and Gaga wants to throw herself into movies in a big way after the success of A Star Is Born -- Gaga is ready to cash out of her latest relationship with businessman Michael Polansky because they quarantined together and things got a little too close for her tastes and she’s now set her sights on Brad who recently became unattached after giving the brush-off to German model Nicole Poturalski -- Gaga’s interest in Brad has not gone unreciprocated because Brad is fascinated by Gaga saying she’s cool and talented beyond words and he’s made it clear she’s his number one choice to star alongside him in next movie and as a result the new duo is set to spend months together in Japan filming the racy thriller Bullet Train and they both think that this will be a great opportunity to see if the chemistry they’ve shared in conversations is real 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Julia Garner filmed her role as a phony heiress in Inventing Anna in NYC, Gary Busey picked up a copy of the National Enquirer at a Malibu newsstand, Jay-Z tossed around a football with pals during a Hawaiian getaway, Heidi Klum shot Germany’s Next Top Model in Berlin 

Page 11: In the latest tragedy to strike the Getty dynasty 52-year-old John Gilbert Getty was found dead in a Texas hotel room -- he was a descendant of J. Paul Getty the oil tycoon who was once the world’s richest man -- the Getty fortune is worth an estimated $5 billion but the family has been rocked by a string of tragedies 

* Gutsy Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman kept his colon cancer diagnosis secret from his own brothers Derrick L. Boseman who is a pastor in Murfreesboro in Tennessee -- but when Derrick called Chadwick to congratulate him on his career the actor broke the tragic news -- Chadwick’s last words to him still echo in his heart: Chadwick said, “I’m in the fourth quarter and I need you to get me out of the game,” which Derrick understood to mean it was time for him to go -- Chadwick died on August 28 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- the scrawny look of the holiday tree at Rockefeller Center revealed something that happens every year -- the tree is always filled with faux branches because that’s the only way the tree can sustain 50,000 LED lights

* Marie Osmond hasn’t spoken to Sharon Osbourne since she left The Talk because Marie and Sharon were professional but never friends

* Scarlett Johansson is worth $165 million while her new husband Colin Jost tops out a $6 million but despite the difference Colin bought both wedding rings -- some men may be intimidated by a wife who’s rich and famous but not Colin and paying the bills is something the two have worked out together

* Woody Harrelson chats with police after a day filming The Man from Toronto in Ontario (picture) 

Page 13: Conan O’Brien is putting on a happy face on his retirement from late-night TV but he was forced out -- after nearly three decades hosting a daily show Conan announced he’s leaving his TBS talker for a weekly variety series on HBO Max but he knew he had to go even before he was asked because he was made aware months ago that his show would not be renewed because the ratings weren’t great and the network was looking to replace him so he started looking for other opportunities 

* Lizzo wailing about the pitfalls of fame in an emotional TikTok post has sent out the alarm among her friends who fear she is days away from a full-on meltdown -- she seems to be hanging by a thread and is trying to numb the pain with endless cycles of comfort eating and she already weighs 350 pounds -- Lizzo’s unhappy with her weight and hates the sight of herself when she looks in the mirror but she’s unable to stick to a diet and ends up binge eating through the night 

Page 14: Crime 

Page 15: Emboldened by his legal victories last year accused sexual abuser Kevin Spacey is denying all the allegations in a 2020 lawsuit in New York against him and demanding the case be brought to trial so he can clear his name -- Kevin is feeling pretty confident after two sexual harassment cases against him in Los Angeles and Massachusetts were dismissed last year and he wants his day in court to prove he is not the monster these charges paint him to be -- in the September suit two male accusers charged Spacey sexually assaulted them when they were 14 and the first accuser alleged Spacey assaulted him on multiple occasions after they met in an acting class in the ‘80s -- in the same suit actor Anthony Rapp charged Spacey invited him to a party at his home and grabbed his buttocks and lifted him onto a bed and lay on top of him

* Serial killer Ted Bundy relived the details of one of his horrific killings in his final conversation before he was fried in the electric chair in 1989 -- Bundy who was convicted of killing 30 women and suspected of doing the same to many more across four states in the 1970s and ‘80s spilled his guts to a psychologist just hours before his execution death and it can be heard in its frightening entirety on the Crimedoor app -- Bundy details the murder of Georgann Hawkins 

Page 16: Accused Jeffrey Epstein madam Ghislaine Maxwell is under quarantine in a federal pen after being exposed to a guard with COVID-19 and now sources fear she could die before facing justice on child sex trafficking charges next year 

Page 17: Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton’s kids are devastated after their best friend Lupo the family dog passed away -- the beloved dog had become a fixture in family photos but sadly died at age nine leaving Prince Louis and Princess Charlotte and especially Prince George enormously upset -- for George especially this is a tremendous upset as Lupo was his best friend and he has been there his entire life and this is his first experience with loss and he’s been crying nonstop and asking where Lupo is now 

Page 18: American Life 

Page 19: Russia is using a brain-frying microwave weapon to target American envoys in the U.S. and around the world -- a team of doctors and scientists at CIA headquarters determined the mysterious illness that’s plagued embassy workers in recent years was the handiwork of a weapon that can send a mind-scrambling sonic beam through windows and walls from two miles away -- since 2018 the weapon has zapped 26 diplomats in Cuba who reported suffering from migraines and ringing in the ears and dizziness and vertigo -- Some has longer-term effects such as fatigue and loss of vision and difficulty sleeping symptoms dubbed the Havana Syndrome 

* Elon Musk is already designing posh planetary digs for residents of his future city on Mars and he said the first million Earthlings to arrive will live in glass domes -- Musk’s outer-space enterprise is still a little sketchy on details of how to ship a million people to Mars by 2050 and change the atmosphere by terraforming or planting the right stuff to create oxygen 

Page 21: American Pie singer Don McLean’s daughter has blasted him as a verbally abusive tyrant who left her with deep psychological scars -- Jackie McLean claimed her father insulted and degraded her and forbade her from following in his musical footsteps and even threatened to exclude her from his $50 million fortune if she spoke out against him -- despite her dad’s warning Jackie has embarked on a musical career with her husband Shawn Strack forming the group Roan Yellowthorpe

Page 22: Hey, Big Spender! Hollywood’s tippers and tightwads -- Jessica Simpson, Mick Jagger, Rachael Ray, Taylor Swift 

Page 23: Russell Crowe, Donnie Wahlberg, Jeremy Piven, Johnny Depp, Bill Cosby 

Page 25: Justin Bieber is questioning his future in the scandal-scarred Hillsong church after his former pal and pastor Carl Lentz was booted out in disgrace -- the singer has long relied on Hillsong which some have branded a cult and Lentz to help him navigate fame -- Justin’s at a crossroads right now because he definitely felt betrayed by Carl and now he and his wife Hailey Bieber are deciding whether to stay with the church 

Page 26: Viola Davis has revealed how growing up poor in Rhode Island affected her self-worth saying what comes with poverty is invisibility and we just want to be somebody desperately -- Viola says her feeling of I’m Important helped drive her career which has led to an Oscar and two Tonys and an Emmy 

* Hollywood Hookups -- Vanessa Hudgens is dating Cole Tucker of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Jordan Fisher and Ellie Woods married, Luann De Lesseps dating Garth Wakeford 

Page 27: Nicole Kidman has revealed there is only one cure for her desperate struggles with loneliness which is in the arms of husband Keith Urban -- Nicole said she practices psychological discipline to keep her career and home life separate but isolation still plagues her 

* Dallas star Linda Gray is mourning the death of her son Jeff Thrasher at the age of 56 -- she’s heard from some former Dallas colleagues who have rallied around her and expressed their condolences -- no cause of death for Jeff has been revealed 

Page 28: Cover Story -- Prince William is trapped in a cancer nightmare after medical tests have led doctors to suspect the heir to Britain’s throne may be fighting a slow-moving form of the deadly disease and now the 38-year-old royal and his family are terrified he is in severe danger and medical experts are monitoring his health for any symptoms of the illness -- there’s talk around the palace the prince’s decision to reveal he tested positive for COVID-19 during the spring is really an attempt to explain away his condition because doctors found something funky when they checked for the virus -- if William’s health takes a turn for the worse it could further erode confidence in the monarchy which has already endured Prince Andrew’s sex scandal and the defection of Prince Harry -- when William’s doctors dropped their cancer bombshell his wife Duchess Kate Middleton locked herself away with just their kids for five days and she’s practically had a breakdown but she’s learned to be a royal and is now coping very bravely and confronting the future with steely resolve but she is urging William to mend fences with his estranged brother Harry

Page 32: Health Watch 

Page 36: Jessica Simpson is preparing her windpipes for a post-pandemic musical comeback -- she hasn’t released an album since Happy Christmas a decade ago but wants to storm the pop charts once again and recruit some of her wider family to give her a disco edge because Jessica has always looked up to Diana Ross who is sister Ashlee Simpson’s mother-in-law and Jessica has been bugging Ashlee to hook her up with Diana and she thinks they could do an incredible duet 

Page 38: Paul McCartney has taken a seething jab at a two-faced gold-digging mystery woman in his new song Lavatory Lil but insisted it’s not about his ex-wife Heather Mills 

* Lil Wayne’s ex-girlfriend fears he will go insane behind bars -- the rapper is a convicted felon banned from possessing a weapon and now faces up to 10 years in jail after federal agents in Miami caught him with heroin and cocaine and ecstasy and marijuana and a gold-plated gun -- former girlfriend Melissa Howe says he won’t cope and it took him years to get his life back to normal after his last trip inside so for it to happen again for him to be put behind bars it would really get to him mentally 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- American Music Awards -- Kristin Cavallari, Christian Serratos, Paris Hilton, Dua Lipa, Bebe Rexha, Megan Fox 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- LeAnn Rimes holding a dog on Hallmark Channel’s Home and Family 

Page 47: Odd List 

[createdbyinvisibles]

The Chronicles of a bookworm ninja

Word count:  2829

An episodic series of chapters telling the odd tale of Rin Kikumoto, the last political book carrier and her misadventures in becoming a ninja.

If you’re curious about what the Kikumoto clan is exactly then this bio here should explain everything.

    Rin Kikumoto lived an utterly peculiar existence, she was the type of person to spontaneously do things for the sake of quick and short excitement. As well as the kind of person to just always be around asking questions, a kid, nine years old to be exact, should never be wondering. Living on the only standing house in the crumbled compound of the now-disbanded Kikumoto clan, you could say it was an odd house for an odd girl. But now this odd girl would be attending her first day at the ninja academy, something her older brother was solemnly against. He simply hated the mere thought of having his sister be a part of what he thought to be "another pawn of the military complex." 

But it would get her out of the house, and she argued it would do her more good than the negatives that came with it. She'd have to start late, however, since she was already nine and the rest of the classmates have been at the academy since age six, but she was a fast learner, well... She had to be. The reason being was the very same reason she was well odd, she was what the village called a political book carrier. The position was one of knowledgeable importance, as it was an old position, and it even went back to the first Hokage, this position was one of four now-disbanded positions the Kikumoto clan occupied. 

A position that detailed the tasks of carrying knowledge, secret knowledge, the kind of knowledge that was best left to be forgotten. And Rin had to carry all of it, libraries worth of secrets and information of all types to be stored away within the depths of a large sketchbook. To be sealed by the strength of her soul, to be remembered but never talked about again. For even if she wished to forget the village needed someone to remember, for what if the Hokage required information? If she never remembered then, the Hokage surely wouldn't, and the village would suffer. So cursed with the seal mark of the black chrysanthemum, she for the rest of her life would bear the knowledge of the village by sealing it in the book that was her soul. 

But it didn't matter now, for, with jello-like legs, she stared at the oddly shaped building looming in front of her. As she felt her muscles tense up, it made her realize that she was about to enter an environment in which she could socialize with others. Other people who weren't her brother and other people who all had differing opinions, opinions as well as feelings different from her own, something her brother said was the bane of their existence. But if she was to learn how to understand others and become friends with any of them well, she'd have to try. So with reluctant steps, she walked forward into the building that would become the start of a life she couldn't even begin to think, she'd have. 

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"Alright class, today we have a new student who will be joining us..." Iruka Sensei now told the class, to the response of nods and a couple murmurs for who this newcomer could possibly be.

"Excuse me, but you're going to have to enter the classroom first," Iruka Sensei said gently motioning for her to step through the door, so lost in her thought that she forgot to enter the classroom entirely. But with cold feet, she stepped into the classroom, there were a lot of people, too many people. All of which stared down to her on high wooden benches that made everything seem so much more intimidating. "Alright, why don't you tell the class your name?" Iruka Sensei suggested with a smile, and with a nod, Rin complied.

I could walk into that classroom with an identity entirely different to my own, and no one could tell, I'll just say I'm so-so, and everyone will just believe me, and I'll have to live a lie for the rest of my life. Rin gripped her book, a book she should have kept in her back pocket, for the book not only carried libraries of information but her soul as well. But at times like these, it always seemed to calm her down when she held her book close.

"Is there anything you would like to say about yourself? A favourite colour perhaps?" Iruka Sensei suggested yet again breaking her train of thought, for little did she know as all this thinking was going on, she merely stood statue-like.

"Greetings or salutations, my name is Rin Kikumoto…" Rin said with her voice surprisingly steady. Look at the faces, study each one, remember what brother said, everyone feels something and all of it can be displayed on their faces. Perhaps someone is just as nervous as me? I know practically every dark secret in this village, something like this shouldn't scare me at all! It shouldn't scare me at all… Even if everything about this is new and new is a change and change is well, uncomfortable. Rin's obsidian coloured eyes darted back and forth, it made her eyes look like two little kaleidoscopes that seemed to draw you in by pure curiosity. She didn't find anyone, in particular, that was nervous, all except one girl, and she looked plain antsy with her blank pupilless purple eyes, eyes that were the mark of the Hyuga clan. 

Ironically she would have preferred world stumping mind bogglers, she was used to those, her brother would always give her one every week, and at the end of the week, they'd have a debate over it. Those questions were easier in a way since they were always open-ended and allowed room for an answer longer than a sentence. How was she supposed to form a meaningful opinion with a sentence? 

Favourite colour? Well, white reflects the sun and looks really lovely but it also stains easily, black is beautiful but plain dreadful in the summer, purple is majestic, but it's too expensive. Blue is so basic and red is far too strong, green is different enough to make me seem unusual, but the colour itself reminds me of puke. Grey is dull and brown feels like cheating because it's all the colours just mixed together, orange never looks good on me, and yellow makes my eyes hurt. Pink is sweet, but everyone is probably expecting me to say it and big brother always talks about how we have to break the "stereotypes' ', so it's out of the question. And what if someone in the class is colourblind, then I'll just sound like a jerk regardless! Rin was yet again looking towards the floor, typical softball questions that anyone could try and answer seemed like world stumping mind bogglers for her. 

It was only now that she realized she never answered Iruka Sensei, nor did she say anything at all, the realization of which made her sink slightly into herself. "Can I sit at my desk please," Rin asked awkwardly, re-evaluating my life is more like it.

It was then that she noticed the Uchiha insignia on his back, so he's Sasuke Uchiha the lone survivor of the Uchiha clan, well the personality checks out at least… Peas and carrots. Rin felt bad, Even if his personality made her think less of him. Being a book carrier meant she had to know a lot about this village, even tragedies he'd never know, but it weirdly comforted her. It's easy to understand someone she had records on, easier than having to get the information herself anyway. 

"Of course, there is an empty seat near the back where you can sit," Iruka said motioning towards the only free desk available. I guess I'm already the problem child or at least a timid emo kid, please believe me when I say I'm an entertaining and chill person! Wait, they can't hear me. Rin made her way to the back, it wasn't as bad as she thought it was, just well, really far away from the front. Sitting by the window in the seat next to her, was a cantankerous looking boy with short jet black hair in the shape of a duck's butt. "Guess we'll be desk buddies then," Rin joked offering her hand to shake, and telling by the irritated glare he shot her the joke didn't land.

With the proper information, she could empathize and formulate the best way to converse with the person for the best outcome. Even if in the process of knowing their records and files, it had the potential of making Rin feel guilty. But at the end of the day, she didn't know Sasuke, not enough to really care about him anyway. And by the looks of it, Sasuke would rather the world burn then talk to her, so as long as it stayed that way, Rin would never even worry about the potential guilt she might feel.

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The rest of the school day wasn't much of note, she tried to talk to people during the break period, but with everyone in their own cliques, it was a pointless endeavour. She couldn't even sulk on the swingset because some other kid was using it, and she couldn't talk to Sasuke because he was being... Well, a total dill weed. She tried to find the antsy girl she noticed previously, but she looked busy as well, for that same girl was staring at the kid on the swingset. Rin believed it was because she wanted a turn on the swingset as well, but she didn't ask. So she spent her break sitting in the shade sketching the other kids in a smaller plain white sketchbook different to her large floral decorated sketchbook. Her goal was to have drawn and made a personal file for every student in her class since baby steps were required if no one wanted to talk to you.

"Um, excuse me," A shy voice called, and as Rin looked over to see who it is, she was surprised to find the same antsy girl who was watching the swingset from before.

"Yes?" Rin called a little louder than expected, happy that someone approached her at all.

"Well um, I don't mean to be rude or forward or anything, but I couldn't help but ask… You just seem really invested in that drawing and well..." The girl fumbled around with her words, in fact, she fumbled so much you might as well call it a literary train wreck. Wait she's really not making any sense, so that means she's nervous… I was nervous earlier today, and it caused me to be embarrassed… Wait is this empathy? Well, sweet dango on a stick, I'm empathizing! God, empathy feels fantastic! Rin was correct, she really was empathizing, but in the process it caused her to stare at the girl. Which caused the girl to become so nervous she simply excused herself and left, leaving Rin alone yet again. 

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Before she knew it, it was the end of the day, so with her book in hand, she left to go home skipping as she went, only stopping when she reached a small ridge to the side of the sidewalk, green grass and little white clovers painting a scene of contentment. Taking a slight detour, Rin began to pick the white clovers, tying them into a crown as she went scrutinizing the ridge for more of the prettiest and most delicate of clovers. "Well don't you have great eyes for flower picking?" A rather confident sounding voice called, Rin looked up from her flowers to find a girl with platinum blonde hair tied into a short ponytail. "I'm Ino by the way, and you must be Rin, right?" Ino said, offering her hand to shake.

"Oh, hello Ino… Wait doesn't your family run the flower shop?" Rin asked excitedly, shaking her hand back, she loved to go there and get flowers every Sunday. 

"That's right, my family runs the Yamanaka flower shop, but enough about me, you were recently given a seat next to Sasuke, right?" Ino asked to which Rin nodded.

"Well you don't really seem to like Sasuke, so I was wondering if you'd want to change seats with me?" Ino asked Rin's confusion.

"Wait, do you like Sasuke?!" Rin exclaimed, surprised to which Ino laughed.

"Yeah, and who doesn't?" Ino asked, and when Rin pointed to herself, Ino laughed "And I'm taller than most of the girls in our class."

"Still it doesn't make sense though, I tried talking to him, and he's well very distant, to say the least," Rin responded, confused to Ino squealing.

"But that's what makes him so cool," Ino gushed.

"Cold is more like it," Rin responded, still confused and even more confused to find Ino irritated.

"Well you're still new, so maybe you just don't understand Sasuke at all," Ino huffed, turning around to leave, forgetting about what she was going to ask Rin in the first place. Rin was still confused, what was there to understand about Sasuke, even without records Rin could feel the hatred steaming off the boy. He was rather one-note in that regard, to curse at the rest of the world is to ignore everything else about it, including the complications that make life a greyish mix of exoticness. But she wasn't one to judge, she didn't have the best first impression either, and telling by everyone's reaction to her, she probably wasn't liked either. So for all, she knew he too had socialization problems and wasn't that why she was here in the first place, to understand others? And how could she understand others by writing them off?

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Maybe I don't really know Sasuke all that well either, I mean Ino has been in that class since she was little and I've only just joined... Wait, that's it! To properly understand someone I have to befriend them, I mean to call someone a friend is to understand them. That's what I'll do! And with that, Rin got up determined and marched on with a flower crown in hand.

"I'm home!" Rin called as she took off her shoes to find her brother on a chair near the door. "I made this on my way back home," Rin said, giving him the flower crown she made previously.

"Well, doesn't this look nice on me," Her brother said, gently placing the crown on his head as if it was his own personal coronation and with a thumbs up from Rin he ruffled her hair.

“It was…” Rin trailed off, how was her day? She couldn't really put a finger on how she felt about it. It was different to say the least, but it wasn’t a bad difference going there made her feel like a scientist sent to study a different land from her own. “I’m not sure, but I think I want to go tomorrow,” she did want to go back, even if it was odd but where there was oddity, there was a way to understand it. And that’s what she was here to do.

"Maybe one day, you could come with me to pick the flowers?" Rin suggested, trying her best to ignore the slight grimace in his eyes, her brother hated leaving the house. Something he hadn't done since she was six, after that he just came home one day and never left. 

“When the flowers grow in the backyard, we can pick them together,” He suggested a small smile on his face, that was enough for Rin, it was her first day of school and she was simply too tired to get into yet another argument. “How was your day at school?” He asked carefully, Rin found him studying her face, a habit her brother always had when he felt Rin wouldn't tell him the whole story.

[spookyspaghettisundae]

Things Below

Voices. Voices, everywhere. Emily peered out the window from the backseat of the patrol car. Locked in, but free to hear all these confusing voices. She could hear the thoughts of the people the car drove past, picking up fallout from the minds of people on the sidewalk.

“He gave me too much change. Tough shit, sucker. I’m not telling and I’m keeping it. Those stores are insured against this kind of—”

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late; oh my god, I’m gonna lose my job. What about—”

“I forgot to lock the front door. To hell with whatever he’s saying, I’m sure as hell that I forgot—”

“Stop staring, dumbass. Jeeze, I think I need to jack off in a bathroom stall, otherwise she'll—”

Emily didn’t even care about reading the thoughts themselves. She used to figure people to be thinking drivel like this just by looking at them. No, the reporter wanted to see how well she could focus this ability—how well she could control it. As far as she was concerned, she had developed a superpower. With it, she could change the world.

Only one thing gave her reason for pause; gave her a reason to worry. If she wasn’t dreaming—if this all was real—then it meant the demon she had met at the delicate age of 21 had been real, too.

The edges of her vision turned into streaks, stretching into infinity, blending together in a wild blur of colors and shapes. She only caught glimpse of their faces, all unimportant and forgotten within seconds, but their thoughts reached her mind in fragments, like a rain of glass shards falling into a bottomless pit. Clipped, ripped out of context—like switching rapidly through radio stations and never hearing anything out.

Officer Stanton glanced back at Emily through the rearview mirror. Judging by his furrowed brow, he was concerned about her mental well-being. That was when she realized that her head kept bobbing erratically, moving on a constant swivel. She must have looked like a crazy person to this cop.

“Your nose,” he said after clearing his throat and training his eyes on the road again.

Confounded, Emily dabbed her nose, only to find blood on her fingers.

The splitting headache set in. Or it had been there all along, except that it now cranked the dial to eleven in the very second she stopped tuning in to the thoughts of all the passers-by. She muttered a short curse and a emitted a soft, nervous chuckle.

Looked like the superpower came with a little price tag.

But it had already paid off. Under other circumstances, she would have had to go out on a limb in trusting this “Officer Stanton.” Letting him lock her into the backseat like a common suspect or criminal. But what choice did she have? A bomb turned her apartment block into a blazing inferno, she woke up naked in a dumpster, and she had no phone, no money, and was now wearing the borrowed clothes of her friend Maria—who probably had her pegged as crazy and she should never talk to again.

Scanning Stanton’s thoughts had revealed a certain level of surprising purity. Blue-eyed, this shmuck hadn’t seen anywhere near the amount of horrid things Emily had seen in her time as an investigative reporter, looking into human trafficking and pedophile rings. He was as concerned as she was about Detective Tanner, her single only trustworthy contact in the police—who had gone missing.

Reading Stanton’s mind, Emily knew that this cop had his heart in the right place and was going out on a limb himself. She looked and sounded like a crazy person, had no identification, and lied to him first thing upon their meeting. He had a lot to lose himself.

And she couldn’t tell him everything she had witnessed.

“I was drugged and abducted,” she had admitted to him in that first encounter. Only part of the truth she could speak without sounding like she had lost every last marble.

The other part involved what she could only describe as a trip into hell, where she was hounded by an antagonistic demon she dubbed “Stinky Jim.”

Eight years ago, Emily met Stinky Jim for the first time, though she did not have such a name for the demon yet. Had she known it was real, she would have lost her mind. She would have been the Other Emily, the Lost Emily—the one sitting in a padded cell, rocking back and forth, gibbering, and disconnected from reality.

If her recent awakening—the event since when she could read minds and bend space itself—had taught her anything, then it was that reality itself was a strained, malleable concept.

Even human identity crumbled in the face of enlightened scrutiny.

Back when she was 21, working the sixth McJob in a row before she got smart, got her GED, and got into studying to become a reporter; she still hung out in a basement with the rest of the “gang.”

She remembered that night with stunning clarity. The edges on everything remained sharp. The dive in the basement of the home of Rodney’s parents had burned itself into the pages of her memory.

Her birthday—the night Emily turned 21.

Both on the surface and in all things below, she was a different person. Dyed her hair pink, piercings in her ears and on her brow, royal blue lipstick, torn heavy metal T-shirts. Loved ranting about politics, economy, and social justice; but never lifted a finger to do a damned thing about it.

Just like then. They were sitting in Rodney’s parents’ basement, sprawled out over ratty old couches and chairs with the TV set and old video game consoles, smoking weed, and the four boys listening to one of her many unnumbered tirades on LGBTQ+ rights.

“Shut the fuck up if you ain’t gonna do anything ‘bout it,” Chris told her. “Gay Chris,” as he was nicknamed, which didn’t bother him at all once they grew older—he wore the name like a badge of pride.

His voice cracked as he kept the smoke from the bong in his lungs and passed it on to Carlos, and Chris added, “The fuck do you know about any of that, straightie?”

That stunned Emily. That’s when everything clicked for her. When it all changed. Speechless, she silently agreed with him. Everything she knew about the gay experience was theoretical or secondhand, drawing from Chris’ experiences.

But that’s when she found her true calling.

She wouldn’t “shut the fuck up about it.” She refused to, because it would have been against her nature. She would do the legwork, and tell the world. She would relay the truth, even when it hurt, or when it got her and others into hot water. That would be her strength. Her destiny.

It would take till the end of that week and some feverish reading until she figured out that journalism was the way for her to go, but that was the same night when Emily really took the reins of her life into her own hands, and forged the path she now followed with furious determination.

Carlos chortled, then took a long toke from the bong before passing it on to Rodney. Emily remained silent.

With her most recent rant dead in the water, and the only active water being the one making the bubbling and churning sounds whenever anybody inhaled another hit from the bong, her thoughts drifted. The night of her birthday dragged on like many others in this very place, the matter of her birthday only standing out by the amount of weed they would have burned through by the end of the night.

She loved these boys like her brothers. Loved the countless nights they spent together, shooting the shit about their work, their messes of what could barely be described as love lives, playing video games together on the couch in this same basement and getting into swearing matches more heated than the actual gameplay, going to metal concerts together, or talking about philosophy and spirituality into the ungodliest hours of the morning.

Some time around 2 AM, Carlos had already passed out. He snored in the corner with a pile of empty potato chip bags and plastic bottles piled onto him like a work of art. Chris had gone home to get some sleep because of an early shift the next day. Only Jimmy, Rodney, and Emily remained. Stabbing Westward’s Ungod was playing back from the old iPod in a soft volume.

Rodney climbed back onto the couch and slid onto the cushions between Jimmy and Emily. His eyes were bloodshot from all the beer and weed they had been kicking back and he gave her a stupid grin.

“Got something special for this special occasion,” he said in a conspiratorial tone.

He unfolded his fingers and presented three little things. To Emily, they looked like stamps or pieces of perforated cardboard just resting on his palm, each of them marked with a pastel yellow smiley face.

Before either Emily or Jimmy could ask, Rodney said, “LSD, hoes. Lucy seeing diamonds—in the sky—or something. So, uh, anyway, how about we go on a real trip?”

Jimmy’s brow furrowed and Emily snickered at him. Buff Jimmy over there, the racing car enthusiast who loved tuning cars and speeding in them, accustomed to acting like the biggest badass of their little gang, was now all skeptical and intimidated by this harmless-looking drug resting in Rodney’s hand.

“Fuck it, why not?” Emily asked.

“Nah, I’ll pass,” Jimmy predictably said. “Y'know what, you should too. Also, I should get back home and get some sleep.”

Jimmy scrambled to leave, looking half asleep already, and muttered a goodbye to Carlos who continued to snore away, oblivious to everything going on now.

“Pussy,” Emily called out after Jimmy just before he flipped her off and closed the basement door behind himself.

Rodney and Emily got a good laugh out of Jimmy’s departure. Then Rodney turned his head and waggled his eyebrows at her, holding out the three slips of LSD still.

“I could put one back, or one of us takes two of ‘em,” he said, letting his voice rise sharply towards the end in challenge.

Emily squinted and then snatched two of them out of his palm.

“Happy fuckin’ birthday to me, I guess,” she said, grinning with him in challenge, wondering if he wasn’t going to chicken out himself.

She stuck her tongue out at him like she was about to lick Rodney’s face, then placed the two pieces of LSD on her tongue and retracted it. Swallowed.

“How long?” she asked.

“My dick?”

“Fuck you.”

Rodney cackled and told her it would take two hours. They settled on re-watching Scream—one of Emily’s favorite horror movies. They talked over the flick, as usual. Laughed as Carlos turned over in his sleep at one point, knocking over the pyramid of junk piled onto him without even waking up, and they both wondered loudly if they weren’t going to have a horror trip if they watched a horror movie while tripping on LSD, like the idiots they were.

The movie ended and Emily still couldn’t tell if the drug was having any effect on her system.

“Get me another beer, beer bitch,” she told Rodney, softly kicking him in his thigh while she drooped lazily over the other half of the couch.

He got up and went to the small fridge in the corner of the room. She blinked and wondered why he did that without giving her any lip. Even on her birthday, Rodney wasn’t wont to do what she told him to. Returning to her, he uncapped the bottle of beer and held it out to her.

She took it and looked at him in disbelief. Rodney himself looked befuddled. He blinked and looked around. Was the LSD finally kicking in for him? If so, why was it taking so long for her?

If him tripping balls meant he was a compliant little sheep, she was going to have some fun with this. She pulled out her flip phone and started recording a grainy video on the device.

“Hey, Rodney, why don’t you stand on one foot and spin around in a circle for the audience,” she told him, biting her lip and sensing that he would do exactly as told.

And he did. Almost stumbling over the coffee table and falling onto his ass in the process, he did exactly that. Emily covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. She stared at him through the display of her phone, making sure to capture his dumbfounded facial expressions.

“Rodney, tell the world how much of a little skanky whore you are,” she said, mouth agape with a grin so wide that it almost hurt her cheeks.

“I’m such a little skanky whore that I’d eat Paris Hilton’s ass with whipped cream and a cherry on top,” he said, slurring it out as if his consciousness slipped farther away into a trance or delirium with each additional word.

Emily burst out laughing, “You will never live this one down when the others see the video, dipshit.”

Yet something crept up behind Emily. A dark, foreboding sense of something alien and sinister. It only reached the back of her mind with a delay: she heard Rodney’s thoughts before he did or said anything that she told him to. Or rather, she projected her self into him and he complied, pliable like a piece of wet cardboard.

These thoughts made more sense now, in the present, when she knew she could read minds. But back then, she had chalked it up to the acid trip. The day after, she would go back to her normal life, letting the details fade away into oblivion, dismissing them as nightmarish nonsense.

Except for the knock on the door.

Not the door leading in and out of the basement, but the door to the boiler room. A room where nobody should have been inside.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she stared at it, wide-eyed and terrified. Rodney followed her gaze because she willed him to pay just as much attention to it.

Knock knock. Again.

Or rather: THUMP THUMP. Deep, bass. Menacing.

“Rodney, go check on the clown hiding in there,” Emily told Rodney, not even thinking things through. She couldn’t even chalk it up to the booze and drugs.

All she knew was that she feared whatever awaited behind that door.

Like sleepwalking, Rodney approached the boiler room door. Twisted the knob. Opened it.

A soft red light glowed, engulfing him. A light out of this world. It flickered, danced—like flames. But no heat or fire awaited beyond the door. Only madness.

Emily walked there herself, intrigued by the mysterious light. Her whole body tingled with dread, yet she could not help but approach. She knew deep down, lurking beneath the surface of her thoughts, that something evil awaited there. Something that would drive her insane. She didn’t need to approach, should have turned and fled from Rodney’s basement. But curiosity won out over common sense.

She stood next to him and peered into the place beyond the door.

There was no boiler room there. Instead of the dingy little room with the big cylindrical something, some old plastic crates, and a bunch of pipes and valves—a flight of stairs stretched down, winding around a curve. The fiery red light flickered from the depths, beckoning her.

“Rodney, go lie down and sleep.”

He acknowledged her order, not speaking the affirmation out loud but just thinking it. Emily, however, didn’t even register how the thought had reached her like a spoken word. She could taste his dread riding on the back of those thoughts—salty, smooth, bitter, clamping his throat shut and cutting his breath short.

But her eyes fixated on these stairs. Made of obsidian, covered in strange, indecipherable symbols, bearing names on each step. Names of the lost and the damned. The forgotten and the famous. She could not read them, but she knew the names were important. She would read them again one day, but that was not this day.

Rodney laid down onto the couch and fell asleep within an instant. His thoughts turned into a soup of drugged dreaming and Emily shut them out, probing for any presence at the bottom of those stairs. To see if anything dwelt there, any things below.

“Come on down and find out,” something replied. Not in words, but thoughts. Smoky, crackling like wood in a fireplace, with embers rising into a dark and starry night.

Emily took her first step down those stairs in this other-space. Then another. And another. She tread down this path, and the stairwell narrowed as it twisted and turned on her way downward. She burned with curiosity to find what things lay hidden in the depths.

The door slammed shut behind her and something laughed. Something in a deep, bellowing baritone, like a monster straight out of some horror movie. The laughter died down into a chortle, egging her on to turn around and see for herself.

Fear overtook her and prevented her from turning to behold this demon. This madness. She knew it was there, right behind her. Fetid breath rhythmically struck the exposed skin of the back of her neck. The thing was huge, like a man two heads taller than her.

“If you don’t have the balls to look at me, then you better keep movin’, little girl,” the demon spoke to her, cackling some more. The words carried the air of a threat. “What are you afraid of finding down here, anyway?”

More laughter. Sinister. Knowing. Knowing her deepest, darkest desires, and secrets she would learn in the future

Her heart thumped against her chest, pounding so hard that it threatened to explode out of her rib cage any minute now. And whether she was tripping on the LSD, having an overly vivid nightmare, or this was indeed real, she dreaded turning around and instead continued on her descent.

“Welcome to the maze, Emily,” the thing’s voice crackled. Flames licked from its voice and the biting smells of charcoal smoke and sulfur filled her nostrils, stuck to her tongue. Way too real to be imagined, yet even now, she struggled to explain how this experience or even this memory could be real.

Because right now, she sat on the backseat of Officer Stanton’s car. But the vivid recollection of this memory sliced through time and space, reaching her in the now. The demonic presence still lingered, lurking behind her, occupying the space in her mind.

The unwanted guest renting one of the rooms in the mindscape of Motel Emily. The neon sign of vacancy flickered unsteadily.

Where the stairs wound down further, she reached a door branching out to the side. Or rather, the word “door” didn’t really cut it. It was a stone portal, covered in more symbols or otherworldly runes.

Without thinking, she pushed it open, hoping to find escape from this place, praying to reach Rodney’s basement again, or appear back in Stanton’s patrol car. The past and the present started bleeding together. Had she really experienced all this, back then? Was this the madness, overtaking her mind, surfacing now, tainting the present and overwriting reality?

“This is as real as it gets, bitch,” the demon said, cackling yet more.

The pink-haired Emily celebrating her 21st birthday and tripping on LSD didn’t understand what she saw beyond the portal once she strained herself, putting her legs and back into pushing it open, her nerves fraying with each inch accompanied by the sounds of stone grinding against stone.

Beyond that portal, she saw another Emily, stripped half-naked, handcuffed to a curtain rack, with some man with a painted face sliding a knife into her exposed back. Bodies of the dead and the dying littered the dark and ruined room of some derelict house in that place and Helpless Emily screamed in agony.

Younger Emily gasped and backed away from this scene of carnage and despair, recalling a memory of something yet to come, which Present Emily knew already and remembered as the time the Grinning Man came close to killing her.

The man with the knife, with the face painted to display a horrid grin over a face of cold and sociopathic indifference, turned to look at Younger Emily. She pulled, tugged at the portal with all her might, desperate to close it before something worse happened.

The Grinning Man, that serial killer, turned from Tortured Emily. He tilted his head, staring into the stone portal in disbelief, studying its frame. Before Younger Emily succeeded in fully shutting the portal, he approached with swift steps, ready to pass from one place into another.

But she slammed it shut just in time, just before she could decipher shouts from beyond the portal.

Worse, the demon remained. Right behind her.

She dared not turn around completely to look upon its horrid visage, but glimpsed it from the corner of her eye. Red like a devil, covered in spikes and horns and smiling at her with a maw lined with rows and rows of jagged, shark-like teeth. Blackened, knife-shaped claws opening and closing in anticipation, ready to rip her to shreds if she looked at it for too long.

It cackled again and Emily continued down the stairs.

“That was you,” it said. “That’ll be you, in the future. You fuck-up. Nobody’s proud of you, Emily. Accomplishing nothing of value. Only watching people die in squalor and misery. You are nothing but a worthless witness. A voyeur in a voyeuristic world.”

Hearing the demon speak in such a modern vernacular and imagining to be such a clichéd presence clashed in her mind, and she almost turned to confront the creature. But she read its thoughts and they mirrored her own.

The first time she realized that turning only meant embracing the madness, and ending up in that padded little room, all alone, locked inside her head with drugs—and not the sort that Younger Emily found fun.

Picking up the pace, she continued down the winding, hellish stairs. The walls drew closer together with each step, never moving, but converging in angles that made her descent more claustrophobic with each passing moment.

Present Emily knew she had to break free of this memory, because it was bleeding into reality. The demon was taking hold. She dabbed more blood from her nose and barely perceived the world outside the patrol car, rolling by. This memory was real, made even more real through recent realizations, and recalling it now was rendering it even more visceral than ever before. The knowledge of Present Emily collided with the memories of Younger Emily and they coalesced. They coagulated.

She passed by another stone portal, almost screaming at what she felt from behind it. Younger Emily did not know what awaited there, but Present Emily did not want to see it, and the two of them refused to push it open and look inside.

“Yeah, you keep walkin’, you hypocritical asshole. Eager to discover the truth, but just another chickenshit,” the demon said.

Instead of the inevitable laughter she expected to ensue, the demon growled with anger, reflecting a rage welling in her bowels, only overshadowed by the terror and fear now gripping her heart and driving her down the stairs, faster and faster.

“He’s dead, Emily. Julian’s dead, and it’s all your fault,” the thing snarled.

Its hoofed feet thundered down the steps behind her, keeping pace with ease, the hulking presence chasing her down deeper into this pit of insanity.

“No,” she finally dared to reply, but the demon mimicked her word, mocking her. Then she repeated herself, “No, that’s not my fault. Not like with the others. Not everything is my fault.”

“Maybe not directly, but what if you never entered his life? What if he hadn’t been on that parking lot, that day? He might not have had some crazy stalker cave his skull in with a two-by-four. So maybe it’s still your fault,” the demon growled.

“Shut up,” she said. Then screamed it. “Shut the fuck up!”

“Yeah, shut the fuck up if you’re not going to do anything about it, right, Emily?”

The demon’s voice reached a fever pitch and now chased her. She ran, taking multiple steps down the well in strides, pushing through the narrow pathways, wasting no time to wonder how the demon’s sheer mass could fit through here behind her. The stink of fear erupted from her pores in a sheen of sweat, the heat of this hell engulfing her, and the stench of burning flesh rising from the depths.

The stone walls wriggled. They were not made of obsidian anymore, but worms. Millions and millions of pitch-black worms, things that did not belong in reality but were all too real. Slippery, alive. Writhing, as the mass reached out to her like walls of tiny fingers covered in myriads of chomping little mouths, provoking a shriek of terror to escape Emily’s throat, and the demon to laugh its sadistic laugh at her.

“Run, Emily! Run away, you disgusting fucking coward!” The demon spoke in many voices, those of Chris, her father when he slapped her cheek, the monster on her heels, and even herself. They all blended together. One of many, many in one.

There it was again: rocking back and forth, drool dripping from the corner of her mouth. White, padded walls all around.

Was she truly there? Was this even real? Was her entire life just a lie? Figments of her imagination, trying to make sense where none was to be made?

The stairs split into different pathways and Emily knew what to do. Present Emily wiped more blood from her nose and stared at her bloodied fingers in disbelief. Younger Emily had discovered her destiny, was glimpsing horrors from her future. Of the three possible ways to go, she squeezed into the narrowest one, screaming silently as she felt the wriggling mass of worms engulf her with the heat of a thousand fires, causing her skin to blister and painfully peel back. She clenched her teeth shut and feared the things entering through any orifices but pushed forward.

She had to live. She had to fulfill her destiny. She remembered all the people who died, or rather, those who would die.

She could change the world, but only if she didn’t give in now.

“Shit, I’ll give you a tissue once we reach the precinct,” Stanton said. His offer; his words helped, centering her in the now. The words he spoke bled through into that dark place where Younger Emily found herself, an unknown voice from a stranger from another world, or another time, piercing the veils of different realities, and guiding her through this horrid darkness.

The demon grunted and cackled and choked on the worms entering its maw as it squeezed itself through the narrow, suffocating passageway, following Emily without fail. It clawed its way forth, causing a cacophony of disgusting squelching noises, and sensations that reminded her of bones snapping to the point of sharp edges bursting through skin and protruding from human flesh, and teeth gnashing on exposed innards with blood spurting out, gushing, and the reek of feces in the air.

Her eyes long clamped shut, she dared not breathe but had to, and felt first worms trying to wriggle their way into her mouth. She sputtered and spat them out with an angry scream, controlling the rage that drove her, clawing her own way forth, mimicking the demon’s motions. Or it mimicked hers.

The stairs went upwards and she ascended, pulling her way through the narrowest spot of these walls of worms, fleeing up the stairs. The demon tumbled, but then continued giving chase on all fours, like the beast that it truly was. Like the beast in the back of her head, the madness always just a few steps behind her.

“You can’t get away from me,” Stinky Jim cackled, only to abruptly choke on his words, gagging and coughing up more worms. Through rows of bloodied, gritted teeth, he said, “I am always with you, Emily.”

She tripped, fell, scraped her hands on the jagged edges of the obsidian steps, right in front of one of the names inscribed upon the stairs: Xerxes. Younger Emily blinked, did not quite register what it meant until years later, first dismissing this memory and experience as a bad trip, induced by popping too much acid and being tired out of her mind.

Screams echoed through the infinite, infernal stairwell, bouncing off the walls and curdling her blood until she realized: the screams were her own. The demon’s growling matched them, blended in with them, and she screamed in pain as claws dug into her back, lifting her onto her feet and pushing her up a few steps until she ran on yet farther, stumbling forth and upwards, ever away from the madness that followed her wherever she went, ever away from the things below.

The things below the surface of her mind. The horrid things she pushed deep down to still her mind; the darkness she drowned in whiskey and cigarettes even as she grew older.

This could have been her awakening but she skidded right past it. It wouldn’t be for years until she had her world turned upside down. Never realizing the power she held. The demon followed closely, keeping her blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing like fire in her veins.

She reached a stone portal at the top of the stairs and pushed it open. Instead of meeting resistance and stone grinding upon stone once more, it swung open with ease. She burst right through it and stumbled again.

Catching her breath, wheezing, lungs screaming but only pained sounds emerging from her lips, she looked around. There was no demon behind her. Younger Emily, with her pink hair, and her piercings, and completely stoned, stood in Rodney’s basement. Behind her was only the door to the boiler room.

Rodney slept on the couch, curled up into a fetal position. Carlos slept on the chair, sprawled out, still blanketed by some empty plastic wrappers. Static on the TV screen.

Emily ripped the door to the boiler room open, needing to know if that had been real, but there was no hellish stairwell behind it. Just the regular old boiler room that it should have been, reeking of oil.

The demon’s laughter echoed in her mind. She checked the time, noting how many hours had passed and chalking this whole experience up to a bad acid trip after all. She didn’t go home, afraid to be followed or stalked out there in the dark and cold and wet autumn streets, all alone.

Even though she found blood when she wiped her nose, Younger Emily figured it fit. Demons and hell weren’t real. She didn’t have the power to control minds or enter strange otherworlds.

She curled up on the end of the couch, wrapping herself in a smelly old blanket that Rodney should have washed weeks ago. Although she thought the nightmarish imagery and things she had just witnessed would keep her up until the other two boys woke up, exhaustion dragged her into the realm of sleep within minutes.

Emily sat in the back of Stanton’s car, finally escaping from this memory. She looked out the window, at the people in the streets of New Haven. Instead of reading their minds, scanning their thoughts, and testing the limitations of her newfound powers, she decided against any of that.

“I’m still here,” the demon said—Stinky Jim. He sat right next to her, just out of sight.

The fear welled up again, churning in her guts as if the monster gripped her stomach with a claw and twisted.

“I’ll always be with you, Emily. Just one step behind. You ever want the security of that little padded room—to surrender all responsibility, let the world sort itself out and sink into darkness while you drool in the corner—you just turn back. Let me take the wheel,” Stinky Jim said. He cackled again, showing no hint of mercy.

“Or you keep going deeper down, scratchin’ at those wriggling walls, and dive into those lakes of blood and shit and fire. Find out what’s beneath the surface. Drown in the secrets of those things below, or spit ‘em out and curse the world with your wretched knowledge.”

More cackling.

Emily clamped her eyes shut. She willed Stinky Jim to shut up.

She centered herself. Pushed away every thought. Blocked it all out—she had gained that much control over it now. Focused.

Breathed.

Pushed the demon deep down, where it would lurk. And wait.

With the things below.

—Submitted by Wratts

[taomega20writings]

NaruIno

Naruto had just enough saved up after that last job to get a new batch of seeds for his garden. He had all the vegetables he wanted, and his roof couldn’t support a tree, so he decided to try some flowers. Naruto also knew that if Ino caught him having bought flowers from anywhere but her shop, he would never hear the end of her nagging. So here he was, outside of her flower shop, afraid to enter.

He had never let anyone know about his hobby before. And he was lucky no one found out and ruined his garden. So he was very intimidated to be exposing a part of himself like this.

But he couldn’t become Hokage one day if he couldn’t be brave in the little moments, so in he walks.

The bell overhead tinkles as the door passes under it, letting the store hear his entrance. He is astounded by the colors and the variety of flowers and garden ornaments that he could see.

“Welcome to Yamanaka Flowers, let me know if you would like any help.” Came a cheery call from the next isle over, the source of the voice just out of view.

“Thank you, I will.” Naruto responded, hesitantly, but loud enough to be heard clearly.

There was a sound of a box dropping, and of clothes shifting against each other as the person presumably stood abruptly. There was a clattering of feet as Ino rounded the corner.

“Naruto!?” She looked ruffled, to say the least. Petals in her hair, with dirt sprinkled on her apron and part of her shirt. Some smudged on her cheek.

She still looked as beautiful as she does in class, Naruto thinks to himself.

“Hey there Ino, I was hoping I could get some help?” He was a lot more shy at this one. Being confronted with her directly. But he stood strong, only shifting away a little.

“Help with what? I’m not helping you with any of your pranks. Or with helping you get forehead.” She composed herself a bit from her earlier surprise, but still seemed sceptical at his presence.

“Well, I was hoping to get some flowers seeds. I have my vegetable garden going good, and I’ve kept it healthy and full the last few years, so I wanted to try something else. I thought flowers would be good.” He mumbled about half of it, and was looking towards his shoes for the last bit, expecting to be laughed at, or for her to not believe him.

“You kept your garden healthy for years? That’s great Naruto, it’s a really hard thing to do, and it’s so cool that you’ve done it. So what kind of flowers were you thinking of?”

Naruto looked up sharply in shock.

“You don’t think I’m lying?” He asked after a moment.

“No, why would I? You are a bit loud, but you aren’t careless, and you are certainly dedicated if your efforts with forehead have anything to say.”

“And you don’t think I’m lame for having plants as my hobby?”

“Why would I think that? I run a flower shop, plants are my thing. All kind of people come in for plants, even Hokage-sama and Iruka-sensei come in for flower supplies every so often.” She looked to Naruto as she finished talking, noticing his eyes a bit watery.

“Are you okay Naruto?”

Naruto quickly rubs his eyes against his sleeve to try to dry his building tears. His anxieties over coming for help and fear of being rejected both allayed by Ino.

“I’m fine, just a bit of dust is all.”

She clearly didn’t believe him, but decided to leave it be.

She instead started walking to a part of the shop, waving at him to follow and discretely allowing him to collect himself.

—————————————————————————–

“There you go, sunflowers should be good, and you can cook the seeds or plant them next year. And here is a book on different flowers for you.”

Naruto started reaching for his wallet when Ino stopped him.

“Actually, it’s on the house today Naruto.”

Naruto started at that. He was expecting to pay a lot for this trip. And no one ever gives him something for free.

“Really? I can just have these?” He stares at her with wide eyes. Hope and hesitation both clearly seen.

“Yup, on one condition.” He looked dubious at what she may say next. “You have to take me to see your garden tomorrow.”

He thought about it for a moment. She wasn’t one of the people constantly insulting him. Or one of the ones who avoided him entirely. She just wasn’t into most of the things he found fun. She was nice when she talked to him, and never hit him like Sakura does. Well, unless he really deserved it. And she likes flowers, so it makes sense she would be interested.

“Okay, but you can’t tell anyone about it. It’s a secret garden.”

Ino giggled a little at that. “Okay, I won’t tell anyone about your secret garden. It will be our little secret.” She smiled at him, glad he accepted.

“Great! So would you like to meet tomorrow by the fountain in the park?”

“Sure! I’ll be there around 3, so be ready then, okay?”

“You got it Ino. Thank you for helping me today, I really appreciate it.” Naruto says as he runs out of the door, bright smile shining and his eyes crinkled in happiness.

Ino blushes as she sees it, and luckily for her he doesn’t notice. She calls a goodbye after him and then sits back in her chair. The image of his smiling face not leaving her head.

’…He Is kinda cute.’

——————————————————————————–

They meet up at the fountain the next day and start walking over to Naruto’s building. They don’t stop at his room, luckily, because he didn’t clean it, and make their way straight to the top of the building. Once there, Ino is treated with something she definitely didn’t expect.

There was corn, tomatoes, peppers, carrots, peas, potatoes and even some cauliflower. Lettuce and cabbage could be seen too. But it looked more natural than man made. Like walking into a fairies garden.

“Naruto… How did you grow it all like this?.” Ino was stunned and was still trying to comprehend that it was real.

“Well, it started because I had a planter up here with some tomatoes In it, but then I was going to make a garden box. So I got more dirt. But before I could build the box, there was some peppers growing from the pile. Then there was some cabbage, but there wasn’t enough room for it. So I brought more dirt and moved it over some. It kept happening, so I kept moving the new plants to places there was space for them. I think it’s either the birds bringing the seeds or one of the foxes that lives around here.”

“And you kept the garden healthy like this for years?”

“Yeah, I just weed it every day, and make sure to clip out any diseased or rotting bits. They also seem to like when I talk to them, and when I practice my chakra control here.”

“This is beautiful Naruto.” She turned to him and grabbed his hands. “You have to let me come back here with you sometimes. Pretty please? I’ll help you with the garden, and I’ll give you a discount at the store.” She pouted and gave him her best puppy dog eyes.

Naruto couldn’t help but blush, she was so cute, and she was holding his hands. The nice sweet girl wanted to spend more time with him. And she was giving him better puppy dog eyes than Ayame did when he tried to get out of her hugs. He simply couldn’t say no.

“Okay, but only if you are with me. And you have to promise to be nice to the foxes.” She tilted her head at that.

“The foxes?” She asked. Almost on queue, a small fox, small enough to fit in Ino’s hand, pounced on her foot. Surprised, she jumped a bit. Startling the fox when ran behind Naruto.

“There you are Astraea. Where have you been missy. You didn’t come out yesterday when I brought dinner up.” He picked up the tiny fox kit and started petting her. “You had me worried you were hurt, or sick.” He looked back up to Ino and blushed as he realized she saw all that.

“Astraea?” She asked. Smiling at the cute scene.

“It is an old god of Justice, innocence and purity. The name means Star Maiden. And Astraea here has white freckles on her coat that will stay when she grows up. So she has a star coat.. I thought it fit.”

Ino reached forward slowly to try and pet the little kit. But Astraea dug her head into Naruto’s arm.

“I’m sure she will warm up to you. So do you agree to be nice to the foxes?.” He asked again. He suspected he knew the answer.

“Of course. How could I not love cuties like this little one?”

——————————————————————–

Naruto is walking home after a long day of training. He opens his door and is met with a flying mess of blond hair and grabby arms.

“Hi sweetie. Long day?” He asked. he got a muffled answer and a nod against his chest. He smiles as he wraps his arms around his wife of four months.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks her.

She looks up at him and smiles tiredly. “Yeah, but not right now. I know you are tired from the meeting, and dinner is still hot. Lets make our plates and eat by the fireplace to relax, okay?”

He smiles at her and kisses her forehead. “You are too good for me, I swear.” He places a few kisses on her cheek and gets a small giggle in return.

She pushes off him and smiles as he backs away into the kitchen. “Okay, okay, enough of that or we might not get to dinner. And I made us something really good too.”

He followed her into the kitchen and smelled what it was right away.

“Ramen!” He smiled and hugged his wife again. He couldn’t help but fall in love with his wife again every day. She was so sweet. She kept him calm when he needed it, and she made sure he had his head on straight. He also loved that he could do the same for her.

It was pretty funny when she would try to beat up someone and he could just pick her up. She would rage and flail, but one kiss still made her blush and calm down.

He lets go of Ino and lets her get her bowl ready. then follows suit and they make their way into the living room. There are plants everywhere. Naruto kept up his hobby of gardening, and it really showed. He managed to breed tiny versions of every flower in Ino’s shop. Walking anywhere in their home you can find a true garden along every wall in wall planters, on shelves and in the living room, there are a few volcanic plants that are growing over the fireplace too.

As they settle in next to each other, they smile as Astraea comes over and lays across their laps. The fox is now big enough to pin Ino if she wanted to. and is just as happy as the couple.

Knowing the fox wont move any time soon, they set the bowls on her back and start eating. Naruto manages to sneak Astraea a fishcake without Ino noticing. not that she really would have minded. when they were done, they set the bowls aside to take in later.

They lay back, Naruto with his arm out and Ino cuddling into him, and start talking about their days. they both listen and take care to remember what the other is saying. Pretty soon they are both just tiredly cuddling. Astraea takes the moment to pull a blanket over them and starts on cleaning the bowls.

Cleaning meaning licking them clean, but still, its something.

[fauveshumankaiju]

Jet Jaguar commits a crime

Monsuta was a pretty place during the day, but it was almost prettier at night.

With nothing but the oily yellow streetlights and the glinting of the city further down the bay to illuminate the road, you couldn’t see the cracks and potholes on it.  The dark was a tasteful gauzy curtain over all the public works projects waiting to happen in their seaside town.

Jet Jaguar sent a can skittering across the sidewalk by accident as he walked, and he looped back to pick it up and shotput it into a trashcan in front of the darkened H-Mart.  The only sound besides the light clink of it hitting the rim and bouncing off was the distant highway hum and the quiet whisper of the waves a few blocks over. Somewhere nearby, a radio was playing. Tourist season wouldn’t pick up for a few months; the beachside vendors hadn’t moved back up north yet, and midnight saw all the Monsuta restaurants near the boardwalk closed.

It also saw Jet Jaguar responding to inane store alarms every hour or so.

Not that he had anything better to do than roll up to convenience stores and verify that no, a raccoon knocking over a pile of empty boxes did not constitute an appropriate alarm trigger. If he were lucky he’d be sitting in his cop car, snacking on Rokuro’s gummy bears and reading Dear Abby on his phone in the dark.  If he wasn’t lucky, he’d run into someone troublesome and he’d be coming home late covered in bruises and Mothra’s suture tape again.

Monsuta’s a great posting for a rookie cop! They’d said. Quiet little resort town where you can really get to know people, like a cop in a kid’s picture book, they said. Get cats out of trees and do photoshoots at picnics, they said. Nobody prepared him for getting starched with a dentist’s prosthetic arm on his first week on the beat. No wonder nobody’d been posted there for a decade.

The only reason that Monsuta had so quiet for so long on nights like these was because someone was doing her level best to keep them quiet.

And speak of the devil.

Across the street, a familiar figure was leaning against an office building storefront, out of the way of the streetlights, doing their best to look innocuous.  Jet Jaguar didn’t graduate top of his class by Not Seeing Innocuous Things, though, and he didn’t get roughed up by Megalon, of all people, by not exploring things that were better left unseen.

“Hey!” He called out as he crossed the street, hands in his pockets, doing his best Non-Threatening Amble.

The shadow turned and unstuck itself from the wall. Gojira, scourge of the Monsuta streets, popped her knuckles and gave him a single sharp nod of acknowledgement as he came up to her. She was in all black, her hood pulled up, and if Jet hadn’t become intimately acquainted with her silhouette when they had their stand-off against the terrible duo he might not have recognized her.

“What’s up, Goji?”

“Not much.”

“It’s a little late out, isn’t it?”

“... Eh.”

Jet Jaguar looked around. “Who are we looking out for, chief?”

“What makes you think we’re looking out for anyone?”

“Well, it’s midnight on a Wednesday night, and I’m pretty sure you have a full time job and a family at home, so I don’t think I need my detective skills to tell that something’s going on. I just don’t know why you wouldn’t invite me. Extra pair of handcuffs would come in handy if you think Mr. Ghidorah’s going to try to bother someone.”

“Mmh.” She crossed her arms, sounding a little defiant.

“What, you’re not planning something illegal, are you?”

Silence.

“Goji, man.”

“Not felony illegal…” he heard a smile in her voice.

“Goji.”

Someone was coming their way. The two of them looked up.  A tall figure, also dressed in all black, hands laden with bags, meeting them on the sidewalk.  Jet picked up on Goji’s tension and his hand slipped casually out of his pocket to the taser on his belt.  He thought he’d met most of the Monsutans that he’d be seeing on the job since he got here late last year, but the town kept surprising him.

Goji lifted a few fingers in greeting. He wondered if their guest could even see it in the dark.

“Who is this?” The woman asked quietly as she stopped in front of them, head turned to Jet like she was staring him up and down. She had a low, rich voice and a strong accent that he couldn’t place. 

“Jet Jaguar. He’s a, uh, friend cop.”

“Hi there,” Jet interjected with a thumbs up. “Nice to meet you..?” He couldn’t tell if he’d met the stranger before. Surely he’d remember her low, accented voice or her eyebrow-raising height.

After a moment – “I suppose I have no choice but to trust your discretion now,” she stranger sighed. “I am Biollante.”

“She lives on South-Southeast,” Goji added casually. “You know, other side of the interstate.  She fractured my sternum with a gardening hoe once.”

“Always great to meet a neighbor,” Jet said.  “Are you gonna tell me what you guys are doing?”

Not the breaking-Goji’s-sternum-with-a-tool thing, that was pretty par the course for her.  She made most of her friends after they beat each other up – Jet was actually the only person that he knew that she hadn’t, at some point, thrown down with.  He’d hoped that the Ghidorahs would be the latest addition to her coterie, but that was a long time in coming, if it ever happened.

Goji and Biollante looked at each other for a long second. Biollante huffed, Goji shrugged.

“Your party, your guest list,” Goji said.

“Alright, if you vouch for him, then – he already knows too much to let him leave.”

“I actually don’t know anything,” Jet said, raising his eyebrows at her cold, serious tone.

Goji made a noise and motioned with her head.  Biollante nodded and handed her one of the cloth bags she was carrying, then, with a moment of calculation, gave one to Jet Jaguar as well. He took it, felt the bottom – it felt almost like a bag of rice, something granular and heavy that swung as they turned the corner at the end of the block.  He remembered where they were now; this was one of the Ghidorah’s newest apartment complexes.  It was in the process of being finished, he had done a brief perimeter security assessment earlier that month.

“Alright, this is good,” Goji said when they reached the side gate. The three looked up. 8 feet of wrought-iron, brick and bushes on either side.  Even though it wasn’t the front gate, it was still awfully intimidating.

“We going to TP their house? I don’t think they actually live here,” Jet said dryly as Goji leaned down, lacing her fingers together.  Biollante delicately hiked her long black skirt up to her ankle and placed her foot on the construction worker’s hands. A nod and a grunt and Goji launched her up and over the fence to the other side.

“Nah, not TP. Something better,” she said, looking up at Jet expectantly. He looked at Biollante on the other side of the fence, sighed, took hold of the bag and let Goji toss him over like a sack of grain.  He hadn’t pulled something like this since the academy, and even though he wasn’t entirely convinced that he wasn’t aiding and abetting a crime, he had to say that this was more interesting than what he’d otherwise be doing on a night like tonight.

Goji hit the ground behind them with surprising grace, and she straightened up with military speed and precision.  “Alright, let’s move out.”

Biollante pointed towards the center of the lot.  The construction equipment had mostly been taken back now that the landscaping was done, and in the dim light from the sidewalk Jet could see fresh slices of grass and perfectly cleaned, empty flowerbeds spreading out in front of the empty apartment complex. Everything was clean, sanitized, sharp as a scalpel. That was why Goji hated the Ghidorahs – that’s what they were like, too.

They followed Biollante, zig-zagging ducking behind bushes on the way. They were probably avoiding the security cameras, Jet thought, mildly impressed and a little concerned about the property’s security.

“Now,” Biollante hissed, turning around. “We go in, we spread the seeds – in handfuls, like this, not clumps-“ she made a flicking gesture with her wrist – “in all the areas with tilled soil. Try to save enough for the entire area, and, if you’re not overgenerous, for the lawn, as well.  Get broad coverage.”

“Sweet.”

Jet looked into the bag, squinting, as if he could see anything in the dark anyways.  Biollante was already off, like a ninja in a floor length skirt. Goji shrugged at Jet and the two moved perpendicular to her, tossing out seeds on their way.

“These are local species,” Goji finally said. “They’re planning to plant all kinds of weird tropical things here instead, and Biollante thought it’d be a great idea to seed-bomb ‘em with weeds. They’d have to tear the whole thing up to get rid of them all.”

Ah, that explained it.  Sort of.  He knew there had to be a ‘screw you, Ghidorahs!’ angle in here, but this was definitely a weird one to take.

“She came up with it and asked me to help,” Goji admitted. “Got to hand it to someone who can make up with someone who kicked their ass.  Strength of character.”

“That is how you made, like, all of your friends.  You fight-zoned them.”

Goji snorted.  They reached the end of the plot and doubled back at a leisurely pace, Biollante’s concern for secrecy forgotten.  It was nice, getting to spend time with friends on the job. Jet got the impression that if he didn’t start getting out more, Goro was going to think he was a shut-in and start charity-inviting their lodger to the family’s work events.

A rush of black and the sound of distant shouting was the only warning that Biollante had doubled back to them, holding her skirt up, empty bags in her fists.

“Security guards,” she whispered harshly as she passed.  “The shift change must be over.” Goji and Jet looked at each other.  From the other side of the building the voices got clearer. Jet saw the blink of flashlights coming around the corner just as he and Goji booked it back to the gate, where Biollante was struggling to get over it herself.  Goji gave her a last inelegant push to the bottom of her foot and she flipped over the top.

“C’mon, kid,” Goji said, wiggling her fingers at Jet.  Behind them he heard several pairs of footfalls and the sounds of aggravated voices. He took her hand, callused and capable, and she grabbed him by the nape of his police uniform collar and yanked him over the edge like he weighed as much as a bag of indigenous flora seeds. He probably bruised his spine going over and he almost landed wrong, but damn, it felt good to be out in the field. He barely cleared out of the way as Goji joined them on the other side.

“Split,” she said to Biollante with a nod. “Hope you can run fast.”

“See to yourself,” Biollante remarked. Then, “It was a pleasure working with you, Gojira.”

“Yeah, always up to cause trouble.  See you around.” She jerked her head up, and Biollante turned to slip away into the lacunae between the streetlights.

“Hey! What are you doing around here?” One of the security guards called. Goji grabbed Jet’s arm and the two of them sprinted down the block in the opposite direction, Jet with his policeman’s cap pulled down over his head and Goji in her hood, trying to avoid detection.  God, he hoped that Ni Ghidorah wasn’t gonna be out tonight; the thought of outrunning the sadistic speedster made his heart race jump to an even higher pitch.

The two of them skidded past Jet’s parked police car, past the convenience store – he wasn’t sure if they were being pursued or if Goji was just running for the sake of running – until they met the margin of the boardwalk and the beach and they finally slowed down, Goji clamping her hands on her side and wheezing, bent over, and Jet leaning against a bench.

“We totally weren’t being chased.”

“You also totally have a police uniform on. Not like you were being, uh.. good at hiding your identity.”

“Yeah, I didn’t get the all-black memo. Must have missed that one.”

Goji leaned over. Jet braced himself for what he knew was coming next – a rib bruising back-slap of brotherhood that he’d only recently qualified to be subjected to as a member of the Monsuta Protection Squad. He’d almost rather take another one of Gigan’s elbows to the solar plexus.

“Next time I’ll invite you. Now I know you’re cool with crime.”

“It was just minor trespassing, it doesn’t count. We were planting flowers. That’s the absolute margin of illegality.”

“Hell, yeah.  I bet we ruined their fucking lawn. Serves them right.” Goji straightened her back and popped her knuckles. Turning further down the beach towards the familiar house in the distance, she raised a few fingers. “I’m out. Have fun on shift, crime cop.”

“Yeah, have fun – uh – getting a good night’s rest,” he finished lamely. His response was lost in the gentle lapping of the waves anyway.  Without turning, Goji made an inscrutable waving gesture.  Jet watched her for a few moments, hands in his pockets, catching his breath, and then turned back to Monsuta.  The streetlights further down towards the city were glinting orange and white; the water was calm and inky black.  The night was a tasteful curtain that was parted for the sleeping city.

And it was time for him to get back to work.

[johobi]

Oo! For the ask game 💞 I'm 5'11" and have a take charge attitude despite having social anxiety, especially around new people. I'm usually a little bossy and stick to the rules but can have TOO much fun if in the right place and time lol. Although sometimes I can make people feel nervous because i'm standoffish (and tall), i work best with kids of all ages and animals who seem to love me?? Sometimes when i get too stressed i can be snappy but i'm working on being purosefully kind every day! 🥰🥰

I know just the guy! I ship you with...

The Devil In His Details - Jimin

Profile: aloof, cocky, looks bad and IS bad, extensive criminal history, is trying to turn things around apparently, his ‘only’ operation is weed-dealing, if you can deal with that, then ok cool, oozes sex appeal and danger, everyone wants to fuck him, he usually does fuck them, hasn’t yet entertained the notion of monogamy - until you, will spend many tumultuous months never admitting to it tho, will break-up with you repeatedly and come back like nothing happened, if you like angst and drama this is your guy, he’s a hard one to tie down, terrible upbringing, is actually very open about it, dropped out of high school and resents the school system, nevertheless wants to study psychology, self-deprecating, aggressive when embarrassed, will punch someone before he talks about his feelings, if none of this has put you off yet, give him a chance to mature and you’ll see his good sides, will protect you, love you, lend you his leather jacket, attempt to cook you dinner, buy you grocery store flowers, ‘this is what you’re supposed to do, isn’t it? Buy flowers?’, there’s hope yet.

Star sign: Aries

Hobbies: smoking, painting his nails, painting your nails, dying his hair, getting it in the ass, TLC specials, motorbikes, tattoos.

Ideal vacation: He’s never been on a vacation, so anywhere. Probably the countryside, away from people, so he can give the bravado a rest.

Why you’re a match: Jimin is king of too much fun. I’m sure he could show you a thing or two. Your social anxiety would go totally unnoticed by him. If you intrigue him enough, he’ll make the conversation work. Standoffish? Doesn’t bother him. No one intimidates Jimin. He’s a thrill ride just waiting for you to take a seat.

You also sound like someone that could tame this wild beast. If you’re bossy and a stickler for the rules, you could be the one that sets him on the right path, just with your influence. Jimin won’t be told no by anyone, but he will listen if you say it, because you have no ulterior motive. You just care for him and his wellbeing. It makes him weak (in the best way). If you have the patience and strength of being, let him work through his deeply-ingrained issues. He will come back a better, more dependable man. Plus I get the feeling you’d enjoy giving his ass a railing. He would certainly enjoy receiving it from a 5′11″ Amazonian goddess.

I’m no longer accepting submissions for the shipping game - I’m posting matches for those that submitted before the deadline. Thank you for your understanding!

[rookisaknight]

Who Knows What the Next Half Hour, Forty-Five Minutes Hold- A Sharky x Deputy fic

Guess who finally finished that meet cute ideaaaaaa. So this got long enough that I’m actually gonna put it on AO3 as well because I’m an attention hungry bitch. This is set pre-game events (like, a couple months before), and is a gender neutral Deputy because, in the words of a great man, “I don’t wanna go assumin nobody gender”

Fic Summary: You don’t expect your luck to turn around via getting caught trying to light a squad car on fire. But then, weirder things have happened for Sharky.

Word Count: 3721

They hadn’t invented a curse word good enough for the kind of day Charlemagne “Sharky” Boshaw the IV was having. Not that this was stopping him from cycling through a few choice ones, trying to find one who’s mouthfeel and vitriol would encompass the capital B Bullshit he was putting up with today.

First off, waking up in a drunk tank was never a good way to start the morning. Especially not with that shithead Pratt, who’d lately taken to amusing himself by waking up the nightly collection of hedonists with decidedly non-regulation use of the prison’s speaker system. The only thing worse than waking up with a blistering headache and a knot in your back is having it happen to the tune of “Chicken Fried” at 120 decibels.

“Fuck, dude, I should kill ya for bad taste if nothin else!” He had tried to scream over the fuckin acoustic strumming. Pratt had just snickered, handing a coffee mug to his P.O., who looked just as amused by the whole scenario.

It was only after he’d shouted himself hoarse that Pratt finally agreed to give him his phone call. Voice squeaking with dehydration and overuse, he’d by some miracle got Hurk on the phone and tried to talk him into bailing him out. Problem was, Hurk was (as per fuckin usual) short on cash. The old man was also piss drunk mad at him (once again, usual), but he thought maybe Addie might be in a good enough mood to chuck a little his way. The thought of Aunt Adelaide had momentarily perked him up until he realized that if Hurk couldn’t get the money from her, he was gonna have to be able to talk to Hurk again to sort things out. And given how absolutely certain he was that Staci was going to shove the “one-phone-call-only” stick up his ass in a few minutes......that meant he was gonna have to stay on the line.

He spent the better part of two hours, head pounding, mouth only getting dryer as he listened to Hurk putter around looking for his keys, getting continually distracted, finally getting in the fuckin truck and driving up to the Marina, only to discover the reason Addie had seemed so good-tempered in her response to her only son’s good morning text is that, judging by what Sharky could hear over the tinny reception, she and Xander were....busy.

What followed was a three way screaming match of Addie yelling at Hurk to get the hell out, Sharky yelling at Hurk to stay the hell there, and Hurk yelling their responses back and forth across the phoneline.

Finally Xander tossed his wallet at Hurk in an effort to make him leave (“he seemed real excited about this harness thing Mama was fussin with, I dunno”), and after paying off his bail, slipping an extra fifty to keep his P.O happy, and begging a ride home, Sharky was more than ready to take some aspirin, find a six pack, and wash off last night’s hangover with a tonight’s beer.

No such luck. His truck had been impounded after last night’s little misadventure. And he felt his heart sink into the holes in his socks when he saw the big black Eden’s Gate cross in the window of the only liquor store in walking distance

“MotherFUCKINGdamnit not you too!”

Had he lost his temper a bit? Sure. Did he expect the windows to still be alarmed? No. But, he thought to himself as he beat feet into the woods before any cops could pick up on it, Eden’s Gate had only themselves to blame for it! Wasn’t enough that they had to get half of Holland Valley so all-fired on chastity that he couldn’t move without getting a pamphlet on lust shoved up his nose and down his pants, now they had to deprive him of his well-earned booze too!

Like most residents of Hope County he didn’t know what the hell the cops were playing at letting the Peggies keep running as they did. Sure, John Seed and Faith were running spin so well it made carousels jealous, but it was the state’s worst kept secret that the recent rash of disappearances could be pretty easily traced to them. Not to mention the scars most of their members were sporting....Hell, maybe he should recommend Pratt to the evangelists that came knocking through his trailer park early each Sunday.

.....No. No he wouldn’t. Jackass though he was....well. From the stories Sharky’d heard and the bits and pieces he’d seen for himself, he wouldn’t wish that on anyone’s head.

Still, he felt irritated. Frustration building inside him like a pressure cooker as he shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets, feeling his feet unconsciously make tracks for the ruins of the old roller derby. He needed to cool off.

People made the mistake of looking at him alongside Hurk and assuming he was just as mellow. He wasn’t. Sure, the weed and the beers kept him nice and chilled out, usually, but without a substance in his hands he was at the mercy of the spastic energy that was always cooped up in his body. He needed to...shit. Hit something maybe? Prank calls?

No.....no he knew this feeling.

He needed to burn something.

He fished the lighter out of his pocket, sending up a quick thank you that Pratt hadn’t taken it off him. He was running low on them with the new P.O sticking his nose into every nook and cranny to squirrel out contraband. Something about enablement and all the other bullshit his court-appointed therapist liked to recite to him in their bi-monthly sessions.

With a huff, he leaned against a tree, flicking it on and off again. Trying to lose himself in the little bright patch of flame. Sometimes this would at least take the edge off. Today, though? He was gonna need a lot more than a measly little two buck zippo.

His options were limited. Normally in a case like this he’d go for a campfire but it was the dry season and any smoke was certain to have those smarmy pricks from the fire department up his ass. He flicked the lighter a few more times, hoping maybe it’d concur with a lightbulb moment and he could have that dramatic satisfaction.

Out of the corner of his eye he suddenly saw a gleam of white aluminum.

He glanced over and instinctively dove behind the tree once he realized what it was. Police cruiser. Of all the days....He observed it cautiously before slowly emerging. Didn’t look like anyone was there. Keys weren’t even in.

He’d gotten acquainted enough with most of the police vehicles in town to know this one was Pratt’s chosen steed. You could tell by the number of air-fresheners he kept in there: one of his tricks he insisted made chicks feel more at home in a car.

(Not like Sharky’d tried that or anything. And even if he had, the lingering odors were finally coming out of the upholstery after the fourth wash. “Stripper smell” his ass....)

Most importantly, though, like most people around here, Pratt didn’t lock his doors....

Sharky’s lightbulbs usually took a while to kick on but this one seemed to burn a few watts brighter than most.

He took a quick check of the surrounding woods. Long practice had taught him what made for good kindling and what didn’t. It was pretty much the only thing he’d kept from a few frustrating years in 4H, aside from a couple of hoofshaped bruises on his arms and a healthy fear of pigs.

And that was the moment when he realized all the bullshit of the day had been leading him to this single, perfect, shining moment. Because right there, nested amongst a beautiful layer of crisp pine needles and perfectly dried out branches....was chamerion angustifolium.

More commonly known as fireweed.  

He moved fast as he could, carefully laying the groundwork in the backseat of the cruise, setting it up with the savoir-faire of a practiced artist. The finished product damn near brought a tear to his eye. He couldn’t resist taking a picture, moving it to a hidden folder reserved for porn and particularly nice stills from period piece movies.  

He’d just found some clubmoss and was debating whether or not he had the time, scraping the fine powder off the stalks and into the center of the tinder...

“I didn’t find anyone”

The voice jerked him out of his reverie and his head snapped up.

“Yeah, me either.” Said a tired voice. Wait, he knew that one.....Deputy Hudson?

He slowly poked his head around. Yeah, Hudson alright, stomping through the woods, looking her usual vaguely tired/irritated self. She was talking to a figure he didn’t recognize (and Sharky flattered himself that he was pretty familiar with the figures of Hope County).

Shit. Should he run?

“Should we call it in?” they were saying, hand reaching for the radio clipped to their belt.

Hudson sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I dunno. Lot of trouble to go to over a busted window. Specially when there wasn’t anyone in there.”

Fuck shiiiiit they were looking for him then. He thought about bolting, but.....he looked at the kindling. There was no way this wouldn’t point back to him. He raised his hand to smash it but it was like asking Leonardo to smash the Mona Lisa. Or was is Raphael? One of the turtles...

“Still, it is Eden’s Gate property now....will that be a problem?”

“It will be. Question is, if we care or not.”

The stranger looked down, biting their lip. Hudson seemed to notice and snorted. “Right. Look, I know they seem intimidating but if the department went into a frenzy everytime somethin happened that Joseph Seed didn’t like then we’d never stop frenzy.....ing.” She grimaced a bit at how the sentence ended.

“So what should we do.”

They were too close, if he bolted now they’d see him run.

“Tell ya what.” She came to a halt. “We’ll do a last sweep. If we don’t find anything we’ll call it a day. Tell Seed it was a big bird or something.”

“You’re sure?”

“Trust me, Rook, the sheriff won’t care and I don’t wanna be out here any longer than I have to be. You go left, I’ll go right, we meet back in ten minutes. Sound good?”

He let out a slow sigh of relief. They’d leave, he’d (carefully) dismantle the pile, and he’d be gone. No point doing it if Pratt wasn’t gonna suffer the consequences. He started to slowly rise to his feet.

“Alright, see you the-”

Several things happened in the span of a few seconds.

One. Sharky remembered the sleeve of his hoodie was a bad place to keep his lighter. He remembered this as he watched it topple out.

Two. his instincts kicked in and he snatched at it, catching it just as it hit the pile of spores. The contact of his hand made them fly into the air in a puff.

Three.

His thumb caught the sparkwheel.

He felt a sharp pain in his right hand that caused him to scramble backwards as his eyes were blinded by a bright flash. He felt his facial hair singe  and a wall of heat on his face, and heard distant cursing.

Long experience had gotten him used to being blinded, and his vision recovered quickly. Quick enough to see the minor explosion evaporate out of the air, catching the tinder just as it faded away.

His ears were ringing and he didn’t hear them running towards the car, but he sure as shit felt it when the stranger cop tackled him to the ground. Hudson followed close behind, cursing loudly and hurriedly using the jacket to stifle the flames that were steadily eating through the upholstery.

“Who the hell are you?!” the stranger said, grabbing the front of his hoodie and pulling him up to look at them.

“uh.....Jimmy Buffet?” He said stupidly, mildly dazed. Didn’t help that this stranger had a pretty ass pair of eyes. Or maybe that was just the shock talking.

Hudson finally managed to choke out the fire, backing off and taking a deep breath before taking a look at the culprit.

“.....Boshaw?!”

What mirror had he broken

“You know him.”

“Ohhhh I know him.” Hudson straightened off, looking torn between anger and mild amusement. “The local serial arsonist. Thought Pratt had you drying out in the tank?”

“I wanna lawyer” He groaned.

“Yeah, yeah. Get off him, Rook, contrary to appearances, he isn’t dangerous. Just stupid.”

The stranger (Rook? Rookie? A last name? Who knew) clambered off him, looking slightly sheepish at having gone full Rambo for no apparent reason. “What should we do.”

“What you’re gonna do.” Hudson said, hauling him to his feet. “Is start the car and make sure it still runs.”

“Aw, c’mon, this aint necessary-” Even as he protested, out of long habit he assumed the position against the cruiser, wrists moving into position for easy cuffing.

“No, but it sure is fun” Hudson said, snapping them on. Loose.  Which was almost more humiliating, and not in the fun way either.

The car turned on as normal.

“Well. Guess we don’t have to add ‘vehicle replacement’ to your list of fines.”

“I didn’t put nothin in the dash! I’m not tryin to kill anybody, just deal with some highly justifiable frustration-”

“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in court of law.” Hudson said quickly, cutting across his excuses as she forced him into the passenger side of the cruiser. “Rook, take him into the station, Pratt’ll know what to do. I’m gonna radio the Sheriff and let him know we found the window perp.”

“Hey, you got no evidence that was me!” He protested. “Just cause I happen to be in the same area as a liquor store doesn’t mean I’m-”

“How’d you know it was a liquor store.”

“........hey can we have a mulligan on the ‘right to remain silent’ thing-”

Hudson rolled her eyes. “Knowing Earl he’s gonna wanna come up himself and make sure the report’s in order. I’ll catch a lift back with him.”

“Got it.” Rook said, climbing into the driver’s seat. “See you at the station.”

They put it into drive and pulled out.

Sharky tried remaining in sullen silence but that was bound to last all of two minutes. His foot jiggled restlessly as he started racing through his options.

“Hey! You have any idea how serious this is?” they snapped, glaring at him. “What the hell were you trying to do?”

“Not talkin till I get a lawyer.”

“That ship’s kinda sailed don’t ya think? What the hell did you do, pour gasoline on the seats? An explosion that big, you’re lucky it didn’t destroy the car and take you out with it-”

“Its clubmoss”

“.....what?”

“Its clubmoss!” He said, snapping a bit more than he would’ve normally liked. But damn it, dude, this was the one area where he actually knew what the fuck he was talking about! Actin like Sharky Boshaw didn’t know exactly how much havoc he was wreaking was an insult to his professionalism. “Its basically plant flashbang.”

“What do you....”

“Here, just-” He slipped out of the cuffs easily enough, and ignoring their sputtering protests, he reached into the backseat and scraped up a handful of the green powder that hadn’t burned off in the explosion. “Slow the car down”

“I’m not gonna-...you-”

“I’m not gonna run. Not lookin to get tackled again.”

“....” Curiosity got the better of them and he felt the car slow to a crawl.

He rolled down the window, tossed the powder in the air, and in the same moment sparked his lighter. A burst of flame, much smaller than the last but burning out just as quick, appeared and disappeared, making Rook yelp.

“Clubmoss spores are chockful of lycopodium powder. They use it in movies and shit for special effects, the stuff doesn’t last long enough to cause real damage and won’t light unless it’s in the air.” He rolled back up the window, absently slipping the handcuffs back on. “Found that out from a behind the scenes featurette on this old bible movie from the church basement. Used to watch it a lot for the scene where God tossed down fire on the Egyptians or whoever. That is uh.....until the pastor confiscated it. Turns out the church basement still qualifies as holy ground and popping a boner anywhere on holy ground ain’t exactly considered kosher.”

.....Judging by the look on their face? Probably should have stopped after “behind the scenes featurette”

“So you’re a uh....special kind of crazy huh.”

“....The technical term is serial arsonist” He muttered, turning away with a flush.

“Well.....its a cool party trick at least.”

“Its-” Wait....wait, were they smiling?! Cops could smile at something that wasn’t the pain of others? Didn’t that violate some kind of code?

“Gotta say, if I were you I would’ve left the handcuffs off.” They turned onto the main road.

“Uh....” Shit, they really were cute. Or maybe that was the 6 months dry spell talking. “...gonna be honest, I don’t recall puttin em back on.” Cmon, cmon, think of something sexy to say. “Probably cause of uh...how used I am to being in handcuffs. For pleasurable reasons. I associate handcuffs with very....very good moments.” Nailed it.

“Well, given how much time Pratt says you’ve spent in holding cells I guess some of those memories have to be pleasant.”

Unnailed.

“So why’d you break the window?”

“What window.” He said instinctively. The Deputy gave him a Look and he shrugged. “.....look, I understand, freedom of religion and all that shit, but comin between a man and his liquor store has to qualify for some kind of offense, right?”

They snorted. “Well. Not that I don’t sympathize but I don’t know how well a judge is gonna take to that line of reasoning.”

“Wait, a judge? I don’t....look, we don’t need to take it that far-”

“Its probably what’s gonna happen. Those Peggies.....” their voice trailed off. Unsure how much shit-talking they could do in uniform. “Never seen a group so eager to press charges.”

Sharky groaned. “You gotta be fuckin....Officer, come on, I can’t do another couple months in prison. You know how boring it is in there? I mean, sure, the first few days are fine, you get to catch up with everyone, but after that you realize you’re gonna have to get used to watching all these guys take a piss for the next few months and it gets old real fast.”

“Its not really my call.”

“Its not like I even hurt anybody” This time. “Just a little reupholstering job, hell, I’ll stitch the damn seat cover myself-”

“I’m sorry but....I don’t think there’s anything I can do”

They sounded genuinely sympathetic, something he wasn’t used to from law enforcement. Maybe this one really did have a human side after all...

.....Well. Looked like the day had finally come that Sharky had been waiting for his whole life. He leaned back, pulling off his hat and running a hand through his hair a few times and trying to get a look at himself in the rearview mirror. Alright, so he wasn’t exactly Ryan Gosling, but this wasn’t the worst he’d ever looked...

“I mean uh...” He let his voice drop about a half octave and leaned into the hoarseness to go for that rougher quality. “If you want...I could find a way to make it worth your whILE”

His voice squeaked. Cracked like it hadn’t since early puberty.

A deathly silence settled over the car.

And then the deputy erupted in laughter.

Loud, long laughter, making their shoulders shake as they bent over the wheel. Gasping for air, they were forced to put the car in park just to keep them from driving off the road. Practically screaming with it.

“Alright, alright” He muttered, shoving his hat back on as his face went bright red. “I can take a hint”

They pounded the dash. “Y-you-....you-!” Tears were streaming down their face as they snorted helplessly. And despite the humiliation of the scenario....it was infectious enough to make him crack unwittingly into a grin.

Eh, what the hell, longer it took them to recover, longer he was out of prison.

“What’s so fuNNY” He said, forcing the crack again, which reinvigorated the laughing.

“Stop, stop, I-I’m gonna puke” They gasped out, choking a bit.

Sharky patted their back. “Sooo that’s a no I’m guessin.”

They shook their head, grinning ear to ear and straightening up as they caught their breath. “Get going.”

“What?”

“Go. Leave the handcuffs. I’ll make up some excuse.”

“....you’re serious?” His eyes widened. “Please, fuck, be serious, Staci let me get like 20 feet before hitting me with a taser in the back and let me tell you that think hurts like a bit-”

“You’ve been punished enough today, I think. And we’ve got actual threats to deal with these days.” They pulled off a key from the ring and handed it to him. “No offense.”

“....I mean, ok, a little offense normally, but given the circumstances, none taken” He unlocked the cuffs quickly and shot out of the car before they could change their mind.

“Hey, Boshaw!”

“Uhhh.....you can call me Sharky. Sounds a bit more normal.” He turned back to look at them.

They smiled. “Sharky then. Honey in tea is gonna help that voice of yours a lot more than beer. And try not to burn the forest down on the way.”

“Can do ma’-...si-....officer!” He waved and ran off fast as he could. He heard their laughter echoing a bit as the car pulled off.

.....Maybe it might be worth sticking on the right side of the law for a couple weeks, at least.

Or maybe not. How the hell else was he gonna see them again?