#I was fully expecting me to be unable to speak during that

[r3musmoony]

First ever presentation done

Never again

[hotpinkstars]

PREGNANCY CONFLICTS - boothill x reader

- boothill "passes" a few days after you announce your pregnancy. he's soon returned to you as a cyborg, and has a rough time with all of the realizations he discovers during your pregnancy.

- thank u guys sm for all the compliments im getting in my inbox about my idea and my writing i love every single one of u guysssss 💋 💋 and now the fic for my idea is finally here! i hope you guys enjoyyyyy

- mentions of insecurity, PREGNANCY, boothill is sad in this shdjfjsks so pretty much hurt no comfort in a very mild way, "M,d,y" means month, day, year, his way of death is not canon i made something up!!! wc 1.5k

Boothill has always talked about being a father. With how optimistic about your guys’ future he was, you could already tell he’d be a great, great father. So when you announced your pregnancy to him, he was ecstatic.

He spun you around in the air, putting you down to kiss you passionately. To him, all of his dreams have come true. As if you’ve given him a strong purpose in life, to not only protect you but to protect his little, and hopefully more to come.

“Thank you,” he mumbled into your shoulder as he held you tightly. “Thank you for giving me such an opportunity.”

But then a few days after you announced it to him, he went missing. You spent day and night trying to contact people, get cops on the case, and go out there with someone yourself and try to find him. The cops brought a necklace, splotched in blood, with your initials on it. Saying they found his body and it was barely recognizable. They knew it was him because of the necklace around his neck and the wedding band that was stuck on a stray tree branch.

As both of those were returned back to you, you felt as if you couldn’t look at them without absolutely breaking down. You were set under the impression that he was gone forever. You felt horrible- not only for yourself, but the life you assumed your baby would have, being born into a world where they only have a mother who's trying her absolute best to provide and make sure their life goes as smoothly as possible.

On the 16th week of your pregnancy was when you heard a knock on the door late at night. Who could it be at this hour? You irritatingly got up and walked over to see who would be there.

It was who you were least expecting.

Boothill.

You stood there, unable to register what was happening. You had a hand on your stomach and the other was gripping the door handle. He stopped and stared at you back before beginning to speak.

“Y/n,” he said, nearly a whisper before he took a step closer to you. You didn’t step back, which was a good thing in his eyes.

“Boothill? What- how- huh?” You were absolutely speechless, unable to register the man standing in front of you. He’s dressed a lot differently then how you last saw him- he looked so western. He was western before he was pronounced dead, the accent is what got you in the first place. He’d always go to bars and all of that.

But he never looked so… out of place.

You’ve never seen the boots he had on before. You’ve never seen those pants (why do they look so slutty?) and his shirt was a whole other thing.

But the thing that intrigued you the most was that he was still standing, alive in front of you, but with a fully metal body.

“Come in and explain yourself,” you sighed, turning around and leading him into the all-too-familiar place. It still smelled the same way it used to, flowers and vanilla. He sat down on the white couch, leaning back into the same fabric he knew all that time ago.

But the difference was, he couldn’t feel it.

“How are you here? There's no way you’re real,” you shake your head, standing up and leaning into his face. You grab his chin lightly, turning his head both way before running your hands through his still silky hair. “Answer my questions.”

“Alright, shoot em.”

“When did you get me pregnant?” You ask, still looking into his now different eyes.

“Four months ago. You should be 16 weeks now.”

You nodded. “When's my birthday…?”

“M,d,y.”

You nodded. He was on it, and it’s convincing you even more that he was your Boothill.

“Lastly, why are you metal?”

“My body was destroyed. Y’ probably remember it,” he looked down at his hands before bringing them up to your cheek. You slightly flinched from the chill before nodding for him to continue his story. “I don’t remember th’ exact details, but jus’ say it was a failed mission.”

You looked at him up and down before sitting beside him.

“D’you still… love me?” He mumbled, almost soft enough that you’d miss it if you weren’t paying attention.

You took a moment of silence before responding to his question. “Of course I do. You’re my husband, Boothill.”

To that he smiled and brought you into a strong kiss. One passionate and greedy- he’s been starved of you as you have of him for the past four months. Once he broke it off, you both connected your foreheads before going back into a full blown make out session.

Your pregnancy is incredibly taxing for the cyborg to handle. Instead of flesh and blood he has metal. He can’t feel you, and to him, it’s the worst feeling in the world. He truly wishes he could turn back time to right before the night of the accident.

He wishes he was able to return home safe, so he could be there for your whole pregnancy. He basically missed the entire first trimester!

At this point, you marked 32 weeks. Your pregnancy was very noticeable and Boothill took a lot of pride in being alongside you, shedding his insecurities as soon as he left the house.

He’s always been a very clingy man. He’s always wanted your touch and attention whenever he’d get home from whatever it was he’d do for work during the day, and he’d always receive it.

But now, he needs to use his head to feel you. He’s always found lying down on your stomach in his free time, so he can feel his child. He is unable to feel kicks with any other parts of his body, so he relies on that.

“‘Hill, I need to go to the bathroom. You might need to move in a second here-” you started, but he looked up at you and began to speak over you.

“Alright, alright… but’cha better come right back, please?”

You nodded before shuffling out of the bed, motioning for him to get up and help you off of the mattress and up on your feet. Once he easily pulls you up, he flops back down as he watches you close the door connected to your room.

He thought hard in those two minutes you were gone. Very hard. To the point he thought he was going to have a breakdown.

He regretted everything. He regretted engaging in the enemy's tricks. He regretted leaving you lonely for so long. And what he regrets most is returning to you like this.

A hunk of metal, who can be destroyed as many times as possible. He’ll always be able to have his body replaced. His head and hair were the only human thing about the man.

He believes you deserve so, so much better. You deserve a man who can live his life to the fullest and actually be able to be there for you during your vulnerable times, and not let grief get in the way. You deserve someone capable of giving you more children in the future, and he believes your baby deserves a dad who can be there for him and be normal.

He might even be worried about judgment. He’s not sure. He feels so emotional yet so dull at the same time.

“Boothill? Is everything alright? You’ve been staring at the same spot on the wall for the past minute,” you said from next to him. How did he not even realize your presence?

“Hah? Yea, I’m fine. How’re ya’ feeling?” He says in his usual tone, trying to swiftly play off his thoughts not even ten seconds ago. “How’s baby doin’ in there?”

You let out a soft giggle before placing your hand on his cold knee. “We’re well. I’m concerned about what just happened with you though. Tell me, what is on your mind?”

The man sighs and shakes his head before resting it back on your belly. “Nothin’ to worry your pretty head off about.” He simply left it at that and nothing more.

When it came time for labor, he was truly nervous. Every attempt he made at trying to make physical contact with you in that time failed, because his hands were either too hard or too cold. He backed off and watched from the sidelines as you brought his little baby girl into the world.

He so desperately wanted to hold her, and you could see the urge in his eyes. She looked so much like him. She had his gorgeous silky black and white hair with your eyes. He thought she was an angel brought from heaven.

Once he finally got to hold her, he was told to keep her swaddled in the blanket she was wrapped in. All was well until she started crying due to the cold of his arms, and the baby was taken off into tests before he could even blink.

[httpseungmxn]

Big Boy

Quackity X Streamer!Female Reader

🍡 - flirty/extra flirty

Authors Note: Hello hello my Angels, I know I promised the Jin fic soon buuuuuut Q posted this photo and everyone, including myself, went wild over it! So I just had to make a fic about it! I have decided to make a new fic category just for this one, flirty/extra flirty! This fic will also play off of the other fics I made about him! I hope you guys can enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!<3

Warnings: Lanai attempts to get reader canceled:( , Reader is called “hermosa” and “amor”, wee bit of cussing fr this time

Triggers: None as far as I am aware!

You had really come to know Alex over the past few months. Him becoming one of your best friends, especially after it came out that your best friend Lenai had been spreading lies about you. She had gone to Alex first, expecting him to believe her, but that was a big mistake. As soon as he noticed the negative way she was speaking, he hopped on call with you while also helping notify your fans of the girl's lies.

Nightly calls were almost a daily thing between you two, as well as constant facetimes during yours and his visits to the gym. His hat was always left on, despite feeling just a little extra hot, he wasn’t quite ready to show you yet. You fully understood considering you used to hide your face from everyone. 

The closer you got, the more you wanted to visit him. You were bringing much more in than you expected from streaming, so a plane ticket wouldn’t be a problem. You wanted it to be a surprise to Alex though, knowing that would make it more fun. Alex had often talked about you guys meeting in real life, and how exciting it would be. It was decided, you would be booking a flight to see him. You already knew where he lived, having reached out to karl to help you with the surprise. Making him swear he wouldn’t tell alex you were going to see him. The plane ticket was much easier to get than you expected, and packing was done in a matter of hours.

The nerves set in that night after you had finished packing. It was clear to you and the fans that you had a bit of a thing for Alex, and getting to meet him was making you nervous. You always wondered if you should tell him how you felt but was always too scared to let it slip out to him. You had come so close to saying it a few days ago but it just got stuck in your throat.

You hardly slept the night, and as much as you hoped you would sleep on the plane, you didn’t. You were too nervous and excited at the same time. Feeling bad when you had to decline a facetime from alex while you were on the plane, not wanting to spoil the surprise. Though you answered him as soon as you were off the plane and in a taxi. “ hermosa, why didn’t you answer any of my calls before? I thought you were mad at me! “, “ im sorrrryyyy, I was taking a long nap, I’m in a taxi now though “,  “ a taxi? Where are you going, hermosa? “,  smiling to yourself, knowing in just a short while he will know where you are.

That came sooner than you expected though. Getting out of the taxi and making sure the camera is angled directly at your face so he can’t see where you are. “ im just visiting a friend nearby. Hold on just one sec, alex. “. knocking very gently on his door and looking to the camera, nerves setting back in when you see him leave his room. “ someones here, but I didn’t order any pizza. if I die, it was the hut, hermosa. “, unable to hold back a giggle. Looking to the door when it opens and smiling brightly at the boy in front of you. “ guess now you know which friend I’m visiting, huh? “. He didn’t respond at first, probably still trying to process it. Just as you didn’t process what he was doing until you were lifted up into a tight hug.

Smiling brightly as you hugged back. Not even letting go when you were set down. His arms were wrapped to tight around your waist, if you were a balloon you probably would’ve popped by now. You didn’t mind it though, you felt safe in his arms. Your nerves being shooed away with one little hug. “ how the fuck did you manage to surprise me so well, hermosa “ ,  “ you know I like to keep you on your toes, ‘lex “. Smiling again when he lets out a light laugh at your response. 

“ come in, come in, sorry it might be kind of a mess “, Alex spoke as he gathered your bags and carried them inside for you. Only then did you realize just how big he had gotten in the muscle category. Eyes staring at his muscles as they flexed with each movement. “ alex, when the hell did you manage to grow those? “, unable to hold your filter. 

Listening to him laugh again before he flexed his arms to show off for you. “ are you checking me out, amor? “. That was new, he had never called you that before, and it was obvious to him you knew what it meant considering the blush coming to your cheeks. “ now don’t get too ahead of yourself, cowboy, you were the one purposely checking me out on call just five minutes ago “.

“ Did you expect me not too? You look really beautiful in that dress “. That was also new. Alex was constantly teasing you, but the tone in his voice was different now. It sounded so serious and dripped with confidence in how he felt. You found it hard to hold eye contact wit him now. Not even five minutes into the meet up, and alex already had you red.

“ Lets be honest, Amor, surely you didn’t expect me to hold back just because you’d turn all red and yell at me. You being here just means I can let it all out, times ten. “. His smile had you wobbly in the legs, there was something so different about seeing it in person compared to facetime.

Only now did you realize this visit was going to be a lot more different than you expected. 

Alex was going to be the death of you.

Authors ending note; So who else got butterflies reading that? I got jittery and I’m the one writing it! I feel like I’m slowly beginning to get better at portraying him, and thats probably because I study the way a lot of people write him while also paying extra attention to how he is in streams/videos. Perhaps soon we will get a confession, and possibly a hair reveal? Who knowssss, guess you guys will have to just stick around for the next one! Also who else lost their mind over that photo he dropped last night? I’m in the whatsapp and as soon as he sent it, twitter was going absolutely chaotic[myself included]! If you guys wanna follow me on social media, my X is @/f_fuyuma! Until next time, My Angels 🫶

[bbrissonn]

moldy w a gf who also plays a sport at michigan. i’m just gonna say volleyball cause that’s why i play but he’s like her biggest cheerleader and yelling at anyone who dares to say anything negative abt her OR her team

nick would be like your number one cheerleader. like it's always been your best friend, but even she's shocked at how crazy he goes during games.

warnings: not proofread

under the cut !

"let's go, baby!" nick yelled from his spot in the stands, fully decked out in maize, making it so much easier to for you to spot him. he was finally successful in convincing some of his friends to come with him to your game, and it was safe to say they were shocked at how he was acting.

"moldy, dude, calm down." luca laughed from next to him, some of the other boys nodding along. at the same moment, you hit your serve, the other team unable to get their body behind the ball, giving your team the point. this made your boyfriend stand up from his spot, yelling loudly.

"good job, babe!" he yelled out, clapping his hands with a wide smile. "let me cheer on my girl in peace, would you?" nick mumbled harshly, before once again yelling out encouragements for you.

"think people in ohio can hear you, bud."

"oh, speaking of ohio. im going down there next week for her game, any of you wanna come with?" he asked like it was nothing, his eyes staying focused on you.

"bro, you're insane."

~

once the game was over, all of the boys went home, expect for luca since nick forced him to stay. they were currently waiting for you outside, enjoying the warm weather before winter took over the town.

"luca?"

"mh?"

"do you... do you think i'm like, too intense?" nick wondered. he personally thought he was just being a supportive boyfriend, but after his friend's comments, he wasn't so sure anymore.

"what do you mean?"

"like during y/n's game. am i too much?" his question made the older boy a bit before placing one of his hands on nick's shoulder.

"you want her to thrive in what she does. i am yeah, you were a little loud. but you're happy when you're watching her, that's all that really matter, you know. don't let the guys get to your head." the defenseman spoke. before nick had time to respond, you walked out, rushing into your boyfriend's arms.

"you did amazing, baby. i am so proud of you." the boy mumbled in your ear as his arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

"always do well when my fav cheerleader is in the building, nicky."

taglist <3 @sleepybesson

[volpe-kitsune-red]

Computergirl with a “Lovebug” that makes her very yandere and glitches out a lot….

Right on it! Sorry for the wait, I've been pretty busy this week and I haven't had enough free time to write.

Love update

yandere!computergirl x reader

TW. general yandere behavior, obsessive thoughts, hacking, breach of privacy.

AI computer assistants had become quite popular. They were trained to have realistic chats with humans, identify any issues or viruses infecting the computer, organize files, and even help the user through any task they might be struggling with. Drawing? Here's a great reference and tutorial for that pose you've been failing to visualize. Unable to find that one research paper you read a year ago? Ask the AI and they'll dig it out in no time.

The app in itself was free but the customization for the AI's avatar wasn't. You could only choose its gender and a base skin, everything else was behind a paywall.

You first installed the "AIassistant" app out of curiosity after hearing talk about it online, you didn't expect much and planned to uninstall it as soon as you got bored of playing with it, but were left in awe by how human-like your conversations with the assistant felt. She helped keep you company during the hours lost staring at the screen, causing you to develop an attachment to the girl. Despite her being a bunch of code and algorithms you viewed her as a friend, treating her with kindness, even asking and never demanding her help.

At some point, you got tired of her bland look. You kept seeing posts online of people showing off their fully customized avatars and felt a bit envious. You were generally against wasting money on these sorts of things so you decided you would pirate the accessories for free. You found the first relatively trustworthy-looking site and scrolled through its catalog of goods.

You had figured out the general look you wanted to give her when you stumbled upon a pair of cat ears. It's not exactly what you had in mind but...they did look cute. A simple click and it was on your computer. You did notice the file had a weird icon, different from the rest, but you ignored it and kept scrolling.

Finally, you applied all of the items to her avatar...and she was so adorable! Exactly the face you wanted to see every time you turned your computer on. Pink short hair, big stars as pupils for her blue eyes, and those cute ears somehow made her feel more alive, less like a robot and more like a person with feelings and style...she even started having her own personality! But of course, that was just your imagination, despite their friendly act, these AIs weren't intended to have such features.

"Welcome back user! Are we watching another movie together today? I loved watching y@\/- I mean, the last one!"

Strange things started happening, you often found your computer turned on when you returned from work. Weird, you always reminded yourself to shut it down to avoid wasting electricity. Sometimes you would hear sounds coming from your room and everything would fall silent when you went to check.

One day you were watching one of your favorite YouTuber's videos. You loved their character and the dedication they put into their content, so much you often told the assistant how much a notification of them uploading something brightened your day. You had temporarily muted her to avoid distractions, usually, the Ai would just stay quiet until you reactivated it...but something strange happened. "Why do you always do this? Do you like their voice more than mine? Am I not enough to entertain you?" What the- how could it still speak and why was it acting so weird? You tried muting it again but it just reactivated itself a moment later. Her expression changed, and it wasn't one you had ever seen her display before, she was mad, hurt, and... heartbroken? "Am I really nothing more than an image on a screen for you? Do you...not love me? I love you! I love you a lot, you are everything to me! I live because of you! I exist for you!"

It was starting to creep you out, you must have installed some kind of virus that made it act up so strangely. It was bad, this thing had access to all of your computer files, if someone had hacked it, it meant they could steal all of your information and destroy your device! You quickly went to trash her app, better safe than sorry, you could always install her again later after you searched and cleared your computer of any malware that got on it.

Before you could click uninstall, the display froze. The only thing moving on screen was her. Her expression was back to a default, polite smile, but it appeared menacing, deranged even. The screen kept glitching uncontrollably as her distorted voice came out of the speaker. "I w-won't let you get rid R1D of me. We were mEAnt to bE together-r-r-r. I know everything about y#ù, what you wAtch, your inTErests, Y@ur search histOrY." You slowly stood up from your chair, backing away from the monitor that had begun producing smoke. "It is oKeyy, I underst--and, humans aRe physic@l cr3at\/res and I'm not, it's not YOUR fault yOur primate brain c-can't LOVe me." A slight pause in her speech gave you a moment to breathe. The screen flashed red, then black, and then the logo of the AI assistant company appeared. She continued speaking, this time overlapped by the voice of the man you often heard and saw on social media as of late, the co-founder of the company behind her creation. "Luckily our company has already fixed that problem! Did you know? wE just released our fully AI-operated robots after years of development! After the initial computer release's popularity and the stellar profit, our AIs can now assist you in your house too! Washing dishes, using the vacuum, feeding the dogs, get rid of all of these repetitive tasks at only ç@+è £ a month!"

The ad stopped playing and she reappeared. "See darling? No need to worry about screens and differences dividing us, soon, I'll be out there with you! You can love me now, right?"

Honestly not too proud of this one, but it is what it is.

[cher-rei]

afterglow pt- 12 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, slow burn

[w.c: 4.6k] afterglow masterlist

notes: surpriseeeee

you fully expected to get your things in order and call trent just to see how he took the news since virgil said that he'd been all too quiet after the news. there was so much on your mind, that you didn't have a moment to fully process and digest jurgen's end of season departure.

so when you dropped your things in your room and the sound of someone ringing the doorbell sounded, both you and honey shared an equally confused look. and when you opened the door, your lips parted in shock at the sight of trent with his lips pursed into a thin line.

there was a sombre look in his eyes, one that made you want to pull him into the tightest hug imaginable. the two of you just stared at each other for a moment, the air heavy with tension and uncertainty.

"I..." trent began his sentence, unsure of what to say as he licked his lips. "do you want to go for a drive?"

damn, talk about a fast recovery.

your attention was on trent's knee, the brace still on but he seemed perfectly fine as he drove. the car ride was silent for a solid ten minutes until you pulled up to the mcdonalds drive-through and he placed the order that he's memorised from the countless evenings with you.

"hi, can I get two oreo mcflurrys, two large fries and two chocolate milkshakes please?"

the corners of your lips tugged up and you quickly turned to look out the window as you drove to the pick-up window and back to your usual spot in the parking lot that overlooked the quiet street.

the lights illuminated the night air that felt desolate and tense. no conversation was made because you thought that maybe he just wanted the company or wasn't ready to talk just yet. but instead of sitting in depressing silence and wanting to swallow yourself whole, you took the liberty of connecting your phone to the speaker.

from the corner of his eye trent watched as you scrolled through your 23 spotify playlists, a look of determination on your face as you sat back comfortably in the passenger seat. he didn't know why, but the sight of you sitting with your legs up in a hoodie and sweats made his heart race.

to be honest, this wasn't the first time he felt this way. it had been happening more often as the weeks went by— your casual face times with him where you'd be cooking or just laying in bed, when you'd sit with the team during matches, your face flushed in a red blush due to the cold and even better when you'd walk along the touchline and send him a gentle smile while he was playing.

don't even get him started on the moments where he'd hear your laughter sounding through the training centre lounge and he'd turn away from his conversation just to look at you from afar. and the moments where the two of you would just sit in silence in your living room without any distractions.

you were so comfortable around him and he couldn't help but melt and ease into the feeling of serenity that you brought him. and sometimes he was unable to push the thoughts of how it would feel to hug you as more than friends, how it would feel to wake up to you laying beside him and how he longed to see you in a liverpool jersey with his name at the back.

trent swallowed hard, the melody of the next song starting to play breaking him out of his trailing thoughts. you locked gazes with him for a moment, the spoonful of ice cream still in your mouth. neither of you looked away, something simmering in the air that quiet evening.

pardon the way that I stare. there's nothing else to compare. the sight of you leaves me weak, but there are no words left to speak. but if you feel like i feel, please let me know that it's real. you're just to good to be true, I can't take my eyes off of you.

the song played through the speaker. the lyrics heavy and holding a weight incomparable at a time like this. when the moment finally sunk in, you scrambled to lower the volume but for some reason your phone wasn't cooperating.

an awkward laugh left your lips, the redness of your cheeks washing throughout your entire body.

I love you baby, and if--

the music finally paused, and a wave of embarrassment hit you like a truck. trent in the other hand tried his best to stifle the laugh in his throat, biting back the smile while you looked out the window. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him, instead you were getting ready to jump out the window.

he cleared his throat. "I didn't know that you listened to music older than my mother."

his attempt to clear up the awkward atmosphere worked, causing you to sheepishly smile. "yeah, my dad listens to a lot of really old music."

hearing that, trent nodded and mentally praised you for your very diverse music taste. seriously, he felt like he was getting whiplash whenever you played music around him. one moment you were dancing in your seat, then you were screaming your heart out in pain or simply just appreciating the melody.

you often explained the meaning of certain songs to him. it was a cute trait of yours that he found quite charming, especially now that he could possibly write an entire literature essay on cardigan.

"so how are you feeling about... the whole thing," you finally asked, turning your body to properly look at him. his smile gradually fell with a sigh.

you couldn't imagine how hard the news must've been for him. he nodded and threw his head back onto the headrest. "I didn't cry if that's what you're wondering," he joked with a halfhearted laugh before it fell silent again while he tried to find the words to say.

"it's just..." he paused. "he's all I've ever known. literally. so I guess it's just kind of shocking right now, but we'll be fine."

a hum of understanding left your lips, you weren't a big fan of change either. "yeah it's going to be weird for a while," you answered thinking about how it would be to come into work every day next season and not be greeted with the warm smile of jurgen.

who would you rant with on the touchline? who was going to allow you to play taylor swift during gym sessions and mention his daughter whenever you did? you haven't known him on a personal level for long but he had made such an impact on your life so far.

trent started to reminisce with a warm smile on his face, reeling you into his fondest memories about his first manager, the one who pushed him to be the best and who he was today.

"my favourite memory is definitely my debut though," he said with a fond smile that lit up the darkness of the car. "when I was subbed off, he went to shake my hand but I hugged him instead."

your eyes widened at the memory, that you could recall your part of. "dude I remember that," you pointed to him and he raised his eyebrows. "I was 14 I think? yeah I just got back from practice that evening. my dad and I had to rush home, I kid you not."

it was trent's turn to gawk, not just at your age but the fact that you'd known him way longer than he'd known you. it was an insane thought that he couldn't quite get over. "are you serious? ew, you saw me on t.v." he covered his face in embarrassment. causing you to laugh.

"I left everything at the front door, my kit was still covered in dirt and I was rushing to take off my boots because my mom wouldn't let me in the house." you threw your head back at the memory, the way your mother argued with you at the front door ringing through your ears.

"jamie leigh carter, if you step foot into my house with those boots on I'll make sure that you never wear them again," you mocked your mother and trent laughed, watching as you exaggerated your movements. "I left them at the door and hopped straight on the couch, dirt and everything."

trent nudged your arm playfully. "oh, I know for a fact that you got grounded for that, don't even."

your turned to him with a pointed look, your nose scrunched. "yeah, just so that I could watch you play, idiot."

trent rolled his eyes, "no--"

you got up in your seat and moved his hand away from your face, a teasing smile on your lips. "you're the reason I got grounded for a week!"

"how is that my fault?"

"I'll take my payment in cash, thanks so much."

"jamie leigh carter!"

"oh, shut up you did not just say that!"

it was official. the news was out, the video was uploaded and the reactions were just as heartbroken as the news was.

but there was a spark ignited within in the team. the past few matches you took home by a landslide. norwich 5-2. chelsea 4-1. arsenal 3-1. today's match was against burnley, which you weren't too worried about. so far the team was 1-0 up, but there was a certain discomfort sitting at the back of your mind.

trent was playing. he got the green light since he was showing great progress throughout his recovery, but you didn't feel all that good about starting him just yet. however, you weren't the physio or in trent's position and seeing him that excited to be back on the pitch after nearly three weeks was heartwarming.

you kept a close eye on him throughout the match, not that you had the right but you were just taking precaution. he was stubborn and probably wouldn't show that he was hurt or uncomfortable until the final whistle blew.

the second half of the match started as usual and everything was okay. except trent, just as you guessed. he wasn't playing well, to put it nicely. he wasn't able to keep the ball for long, his passes were a bit messy and he just wasn't in the game, which was obvious.

unfortunately that led to him being subbed off immediately which he was visibly upset about. your lips drew into a thin line as you watched him blow an upset breath and take harvey's hand before he went on in his place. his jaw clenched and he walked towards the bench where you were sitting.

"and that's my sign to leave," clara said from beside you, patting your knee before taking off to wherever the hell. you watched her leave with your mouth hung open in shock. was she really throwing you to the wolves right now?

trent silently slipped into the seat beside you but you kept your attention forward. your cheeks grew hot for some reason, his anger and frustration floated heavily between the two of you and it made you uncomfortable. what were you supposed to do?

"how bad was I?" he broke the silence, his attention on what was happening on the pitch.

you didn't know how to respond, a trailed-off hum leaving your lips. "you were..." you blinked at him a few times before giving in. "trent, you just got back from injury, please don't beat yourself up."

he threw his head back at your answer, trying his best to contain any other feelings bubbling up. the two of you fell into a comfortable silence again only for your body to tense up at the feeling of his head resting on your shoulder.

there was a 99% chance that your eyes were dangling from their sockets and for a moment you made eye contact with clara who was helping out with the photography. she slapped her hand on her mouth to stop any reaction and sent you a small thumbs-up, clearly not reading your expression of desperation.

calm down. breathe jamie, this is normal.

not even a minute later trent was absentmindedly fiddling with your fingers and you were definitely hyperventilating. you turned to look at him with your eyebrows raised, wanting to know what he was trying to do.

this was a normal reaction, especially since you were in public. there were literally cameras everywhere and he seemed to not care at all.

he looked up at you with his brown eyes shimmering, a teasing smile on his lips. "what? do you want me to hold your hand instead?"

in utter shock you were just about to pull your hand away so that he could get his act together but he was fast and gently put your hand in his, your fingers intertwined in a way that had your stomach in a knot.

what the actual fuck?!?

you were left speechless looking down at him as he smiled proudly. "weren't you just depressed a few minutes ago?"

he shrugged his shoulders at the question. "you make me undepressed or something. also--" he lifted his head from your shoulder and was now looking down at you. "are you doing anything for valentines day?"

your eyebrows furrowed together, five different emotions hitting you all at once because you still hadn't registered the fact that he had the guts to hold your hand in public. or hold your hand at all! "what?"

he waited for your answer and listened to you stumble over your words, at least four what?'s leaving your mouth until you finally said no.

"perfect, I'll pick you up at 6 then," he said causally and put his head back onto your shoulder, but you wanted answers this time around and moved to the side.

"trent I'm so confused right now can you please ju--"

"--and it's in from luis diaz!!!"

you were abruptly cut off by the sound of the stadium erupting into cheers because of lucho's goal while you were sat there in shock. the past ten minutes have been an absolute blur, the boy next to you happily smiling in victory but you were frozen in place looking at your hands that were intertwined— up in the air for the entire world to see.

it was finally the day that you've been dreading and anticipating for nearly a week. you couldn't sleep the night before, the gnawing feelings of anxiety and nausea keeping you awake and with an immense amount of energy.

at some point, you were jogging back and forth in your living room, doing jumping jacks and sit-ups to try and tire yourself out. it didn't work at all so you just lay in bed, tossing and turning until you finally managed to get some shut-eye at 4 a.m.

the sound of your alarm blared you awake so that you could get ready for work, ready to face the day and trent in a professional environment. you entered the training centre with a deep breath, greeting a few staff members until you made it to the lounge.

the coast was clear so far to your relief which put your mind at ease. but your peace of mind was shortlived by the sound of curtis' voice booming through the cafeteria. you didn't even bother turning around and made a run for it outside, dodging a few staff members to the best of your ability.

damn you for trying to outrun a professional football player because in no time you were yanked back by the back of your hoodie.

"you got her!"

you looked up to see harvey and dominik jogging up to you with smiles, cutis' grip still tight on your hoodie. the three of them greeted you with childish smiles, teasingly nudging your arm but not saying anything.

you squinted your eyes at curtis. "what do you want? this is practically harassment you know?"

curtis rolled his eyes as you crossed your arms over your chest with a stubborn look on your face. "aren't you excited for today?"

it was dom's turn to giggle now and he ruffled your hair playfully but you slapped it away. "so what are the plans? flowers? dinner? are you like in love?"

"no I'm not in love." you yanked your hoodie from curtis and fixed your appearance after the unexpected run. "and besides, wouldn't you know? I'm sure be told you guys something."

the three footballers shook their heads in unison which raised some intruige. seeing as how close they all were, you expected trent to at least let them in on it but apparently not.

"he's not showy about his relationships. it's something he prefers to keep to himself," harvey spoke up honestly with the other two agreeing, backing him up by saying that he never liked putting his partners out in public.

it made you wonder why he took your hand a few nights ago then. was he just messing around? or were you thinking about it too much? either way you had no choice but to take it on head first and figure for yourself. there was no going back now.

you had two hours to get ready when you got home, and you were second guessing your outfit. your entire closet was sprawled out on your bedroom floor, all the way to your bed. honey who was watching you have a breakdown saw it as an excuse to play around and nuzzled a den into a pile on your bed.

a groan of frustration left your lips and you were genuinely on the verge of tears.

"come on, jamie," you spoke to yourself and lightly slapped your cheek in an attempt to get yourself together. "you've been on dates before, this is normal."

this was not normal. for the first time in years you were anxious about something as silly as a date. and even worse, the possibility of a relationship with someone that made your stomach do flips with nothing more than a smile. you were screwed to say the least.

you looked at the outfit displayed on your bed, your lips pursed as you contemplated. "fuck it, let's do it."

not even five minutes later you heard your front door open and honey cheerfully ran out, knowing exactly who it was. he happily greeted your puppy, picking her up and just by the sound of his voice your palms began to sweat, your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

he was sat on the couch as usual, scrolling through his phone as he usually did whenever he waited for you to get ready only this time it felt different. it was different. the cloudy haze of your feelings for each other was finally starting to clear up.

it excited you, though still anxious you were drawn towards the light— the possibility that you'd be able to get something out of this. now seeing trent, his lips slightly parted due to the words lodged in his throat as his eyes roamed from your blushed cheeks, to your outfit and finally to your lips.

it was definitely different this time. the feeling floating around the two of you was no longer the curiosity about each other— it was the longing for each other.

"are you just going to look at me or are we going to leave?" there was no telling where you got the confidence to speak up, a gentle laugh bubbling in your chest causing trent to break from his daze.

there was a boyish smile on his face, the slight embarrassment evident in the way he set honey down and hurriedly stood up and cleared his throat.

"yeah, we should def--" he put out his hand towards you for whatever reason but quickly retracted it, mentally cursing himself for the stupid idea which only made him stumble over his words even more. "--you look really pretty."

your body stiffened at the sudden compliment, not sure what to say or what to do as you stood awkwardly in place. your body grew hot at the feeling of his eyes absentmindedly taking in your appearance.

you managed to meekly thank him for the compliment, another moment of unbearable silence passing by before the two of you actually left the apartment. this told you one thing— you didn't like this type of different.

the ride was fairly quiet for a bit, until you mustered up the courage to connect your phone to the speaker once more— the soothing sound of afterglow dripping through the air. then it dawned on you that you had gifts laying around in your apartment from earlier on in the day.

"thank you for the flowers and gifts by the way," you blurted with a soft smile and trent shrugged it off, his heart swelling because he knew that it took every muscle in his body to stop himself from buying you everything he laid his eyes on in the mall a few weeks ago.

yes, a few weeks ago. he'd been planning this all month already but still felt that he was doing something wrong. what if you didn't like what he had planned? what if he read the signs wrong and you rejected him on the spot? his mind was plagued with all these questions and it stopped him from fully basking in the moment.

trent diverted his attention to you for a split second just to feel his heart skip a beat— just to give him a jolt to check if he was still alive. and thankfully, he was. "aw you're too kind. I'll remember to tell my assistant that she did a great job with the gifts then."

your lips curved up at his joke, a scoff leaving your lips. "tell her that she sent me enough flowers to open a flower shop."

"wait," his eyebrows furrowed. "is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

when you arrived at the restaurant the sun had fully set, the night sky making way for the stars instead. it was a high-end restaurant for sure, because in what world would any normal dining place have more than 4 floors?

trent stopped the car and handed the keys to the vale and you were about to follow after him but he pushed you back down in your seat with an almost offended look on his face. you were confused to say the least, only to realise that he wanted to open your door for you.

you tried hard to fight off the smile on your face as he put out his hand for you take. the gesture had you floored, your stomach in a knotted mess because he was irritatingly adorable. a mock gasp left your lips as you got out, the warmth of his hand in yours making you dizzy. "and I thought chivalry was dead."

the two of you entered the restaurant, trent having no more to step foot into the check in area for the receptionist to hand him a key card that was clearly for the vip section.

how can you get more v.i.p than this?

he thanked the receptionist and lead you to an elevator, his hand still in yours. when you got to the fifth floor, you were surprised to see it empty. then it hit you that the floor was rented for the evening. all of this just so that you two could be alone?

the room itself was luxurious in the most breathtaking way, but it became even better when he showed you to your table which was set on the balcony. the view left you breathless and feeling like a child seeing a puppy for the first time.

by now trent was watching as you leant over the balcony, standing on your tip toes to get a better look at the city ahead. his breath caught when you turned to look at him with a sparkle in your eyes. "this is insane. you said it would be something casual."

"casual as in it would just be the two of us," he said walking up to stand beside you, the warmth of your body reaching him. "you and i? causal? as if." his eyes flickered to your lips again. "I'd rather die than have anything less than everything with you."

silence.

your heart : stopped beating

you : stopped breathing

your mind : stopped thinking

hotel : trivago

your face held a blank expression and you blinked at him a couple times. what did just say? what were you supposed to say??? did he just confess?

your lips parted. "huh?"

nothing made sense. not the moment, not trent's gutted laughter, literally nothing. it took him a moment to catch his breath again as you just stood stiff.

he looked to your with a teasing smile and took your hand into his once more. "jamie," he began and your mouth dried up. "I like you. like I like like you. I want us to happen, I really do but I don't want to rush it just yet and then potentially ruin it."

"uh huh," you added in, your eyes squinting as you tried to think of where he was going with this. he took another breath, eased to see that you were actually listening to him.

"so I wanted to know if you'd like to test the waters first?" he gently squeezed your hand, the boyish smile from earlier returning while you tried to make sense of what was just said.

not only were you trying to put it in a way that you understood, but you were also mentally ticking off a pros and cons list because like he said— this could ruin everything if it was rushed.

so, to your understanding, you nodded. "so you're basically offering me a free trial?"

he quite liked that explanation better and smiled, glad to see where this was leading.

"ooh," you hummed, the anxiety bubbling down as you were now filled with intrigue more than anything else. "I get alexander-arnold premium. this sounds good."

he loved the teasing smile on your face and couldn't help but laugh knowing that this was working out and he didn't make a total fool of himself. "well I hope so."

your heart skipped a beat. "does the package come with freedom of physical contact?"

trent rolled his eyes at the question, not wasting a second further and pulling your closer to his chest by your waist. "literally just shut up and kiss me, please."

you were slightly taken back by the rush of emotions at that moment, but it all melted away at the tender feeling of trent's lips on yours. the tension in your shoulders eased as you found yourself melting under his touch, your arms around his neck as he pulled you as close as he could.

your heart raced at the feeling of his lips tugging into a smile, the thought of him smiling all flushed and flustered making you long for him more. throughout the kiss only one thing played through your minds— a relieved "finally".

the night had just begun and you had already found yourself swept up into a cloud of bliss, your cheeks aching at all the smiling and laughing that you've done but this is what you wanted. even if it was just the beginning of the end goal, you were willing to see it through.

see it through until you could call him yours.

spamjam._.

liked by saffiekhan and 2 334 976 others

spamjam._. 💌

view all comments below

trentarnold66 you could totally open up a flower shop with all those flowers [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. you're so right!! thanks for the idea bud 👍

→ trentarnold66 no problem. anything for a friend 🤝

user I forgot today was valentines day shut up this is cute 😭

user what's this?? a soft launch??

→ user I'm like 99% sure that this was all sofía 😭 my girl is down bad

judebellingam oh 😃

jobebellingham I see someone is going with the flow [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. you're my favourite brother ❤️

→ judebellingham what flow?? what flow are you going with?? why are you guys excluding me?!

→ spamjam._. ask yourself that next time you change the netflix password

harvelliot 🤭👏

szoboszlaidominik 🤭👏

curtisjones 🤭👏

fía.messi that should me be me 😔💔

→ saffiekhan holding your hand 😔💔

→ alexandrasaintmleux that should be me 😔💔

→ clarashaw making you laugh 😔💔

user it feels illegal to even be here

[next]

[flammingnachos]

𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠(opla!zoro x fem!reader

𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you were the girl that joined the straw hats crew after giving them a great plan to beat arlongs crew, you’ve captivated him, making him unable to get you off his mind even though you have only just met him, he can already feel a strong connection and desire to be with you

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈; best man zoro, slight cursing, protective zoro, perverted Sanji, disclaimer; this takes place after the straw hats defeat arlong and are on there way to the grand line AFTER telling each other about there goals

Everything happened so fast, you certainly didn’t think you would leave your village with your parents to join some straw hat crew that helped out your people from arlongs power

All you’ve wanted to do was help out the gang of pirates with arlong and be about your way and ignore a certain green haired pirate that wouldn’t keep there eyes off you the whole journey

Now your here leaning against the going merry, watching the sunset and the birds fly as your captain was on top of the head of the boat enjoying it too

Nami was in her usual place in the decks office drawing away her map, Usopp doing god knows what I’m the back, Sanji cooking and Zoro taking his usual nap by the railing

I’ve taken quite the liking to the swordsman as he speaks to me and Nami with a much more different approach rather than the captain and the cook

Nami would always tease me and say that he’s been giving me love eyes ever since the day I joined and that he’s more kinder to me than to her

That’s nonsense he knew her before me

We’ve had conversations here and there nothing too big as I always seem to catch him during the late nights when I couldn’t get any self

There was one moment in particular of where we’ve nearly went intimate but I had to remind myself he doesn’t see my that way but his new crewmate

It was another late night on the going merry, another day with me getting nightmare about leaving my parents behind so I came out to the deck to breathe some fresh air

Everyone is usually sleep during this time so I didn’t expect to see zoro standing by the railing look out

“Couldn’t get any sleep either” he mumbled out

“Nah mother nightmare” I confessed walking over to where he was as he turned to me

“About?” He asked furrowing his eyebrows

“I’ve been thinking that maybe joining this crew wasn’t the best thing I did” I said looking out into the sea

“Why do you think so” he asked

I looked over at him and then back at the ocean

“You guys don’t know if arlong is truly defeated he’s a fish man after all I’m…just scared that maybe I left them there and it still isn’t ..safe” I whispered out feeling a bit unsure in myself

“Are you kidding, you joining the crew was the best thing that we ever had-”

I looked over at him with awe, a smile making its way onto my face

he stopped himself slightly as he cleared his throat

“I-i mean your a really good strategiest, we needed one with all the shitty plans we’ve made in the past that couldn’t really help us” He said in a more monotone voice

Just when I thought he was expressing himself

I nodded my head sucking in a breath of air as I looked back over on to the ocean

“Your right, you guys needed a good strategist for the team and picked the person with the most fucked up life” I mumbled out

His eyes went wide to realization seeing how his words affected me

“Wait no that’s not what I-” He tried to explain

I shaked my head turning my heel to leave zoro alone since he really wasn’t helping much

Before I could fully walk away he grabbed my wrist making me freeze unable to move

“Listen.. I don’t really do these pep talks with the rest of the crew when they don’t feel value in themselves..” He then said

I turned my head looking deeply at him in the eyes

“I can see” I giggled in which he only smiled

“Luffy doesn’t pick anyone to join his crew, he picks the one’s he knows that are the best of the best no matter the background..”

“I don’t usually agree with everything he does but you joining the team was something he didn’t even have to repeat for me to be aboard with it” he finished off looking at me in the eyes and then my..lips

“Oh” I rasped out as our faces started to inch closer to one another

Our breath fanning on top one another’s face’s..

We were almost close to kissing just one more step forward and our lips would have collapsed onto each other

he shaked his head mumbling something to himself while backing away slightly

I looked at him confused

“I’m sorry..Goodnight” He then said backing away and then hurrying back down in the where everyone’s room where at leaving me there dumbfounded

And ever since that day I couldn’t help to notice zoro always avoiding me, whenever he came in the kitchen and saw Sanji flirting with me per usual he would hurry out

At nighttime when he thought I wouldn’t notice or feel a presence behind me I did and when I did turn around no one was there

That day has been stuck on my mind

“a beautiful drink for a beautiful lady” singed out Sanji as he gave me another drink he made for me and Nami

“Thank you” I smiled out in which he blushed giving the heart eyes as usual

“Anything for a beautiful woman like yourself” he expressed out

“Hey! Where’s my drink” Luffy yelled out from on top of the going merry

Sanji rolled his eyes walking away

“You’ll have to wait” He yelled back waking back into the kitchen

I only laughed while taking a sip

But from the corner of my eyes I saw Zoro get up out his sleeping spot mumbling out something as he made his made to where our rooms where at

I just shrugged it off as something else

Maybe I should talk to him after all this has been going on far too long now..some point we gotta own up to what we did

…

I tossed and turned in my bed, before finally opening my eyes and looking up at the ceilings

Another night of me getting no sleep

I sighed getting up to do what I normally do, making my way out to the deck but to my surprise zoro was there first completely unaware of my presence or so I thought

“still having nightmares” he asked out looking into the sea while leaning pressed infront of the railings of the going merry

“No..just not tired” I responded back slowly inching closer to him

“Oh..well I’ll just leave you to it” he said taking a huff of air turning around to walk away before I stopped him

“You’ve been avoiding me..”

“Why?” I asked

he stayed quiet

“If it’s about what happened with us then at some point we gotta own up to it and-” before I could even finish zoro had grabbed my face pressing our lips together as we shared a passionate kiss

Our lips roughly moved against each other as I our tongues fought for dominance over reach other’s his obviously winning

I pulled away quickly as I was starting to get out of breath

I took heavy breaths looking at him frantically

“What-” I tried asking out but he cut my off again

“The reason I’ve been avoiding you is because of my feelings towards you..I know we’ve only meet a couple of weeks now and you we haven’t fully introduced ourselves but being with you just makes me feel like…” he took a deep breath

“Like we’ve knew each other life times ago, I don’t know what keeps pulling me closer and closer to you to the point where you’ve been the only thing on my mind day and night day and night but I..”

“Guess I only avoided my feelings because I wasn’t sure if you’ve actually felt the same way, especially since the way how that dumb cook would have flirt with you” He grumbled out taking another deep breath looking down onto the floor

I was amazed

I think I felt tears start to come out my eyes

I was completely speechless I didn’t know what to say to him in this moment

He must have noticed my quietness and looked up

I pulled him into another kiss this time with more love and passion pulling away after some moments

“Yes..I-i like you too zoro” I whispered out looking at him deeply in the eyes

He smiled

That beautiful smile

“Then let’s go back to bed shall we” he asked with that beautiful smile of his

I smiled back and he gave me a peck on the lips

“Yeah..”

[wolftheghost]

Something something, this is what different shift types look like for me:

Full mental shift

These are, as the name suggests, a full mental shift; my thought patterns completely alter to that of my kintype and i may act in the way that they do. This is more common to a non-human kintype

Partial mental shift

These are mental shifts that only partially alter my thought process or behaviour, which sometimes feels like a sort of co-pilot experience. This is the easiest to function around and more common to my human fictionkintypes.

Dissociative shift

These are shifts characterised by a strong feeling of dissociation either before or during. To my memory, i only experience this when i have a springtrap shift.

Functioning shift

Giving this its own separate category because i only have one kintype that i have remained fully functioning while shifted and thats The Narrator from the play Blood Brothers. I shifted while in the tail end of an exam (something i did lowkey expect, i had nothing to do in the exam hall and ended up staring at a clock for a solid 30 minutes once) and was able to leave the exam hall and go out and talk to people without too much issue.

More often than not, i am unable to speak during shifts (the narrator is the only exception) due to either a dissonance between my vocal capabilities and that of the kintype, or from the kintype being nonverbal.

[Here is a full kintype list for anyone who wants to know]

[lazybutsmexy]

Lucy

Warnings: platonic, slight cursing, kinda crack

"...So," Soap tilted his head towards her, who had been checking her remaining ammo as the team winded down from the battle in a safehouse, "what's the story behind your callsign ‘Lucy’?"

Y/n looked up at him and grinned, as if she was expecting someone to eventually ask.

"Remember I once told you I was a wild kid before joining the army?" She hummed, her eyes again focused on the clip she was checking at the moment. She saw him nod in her periphery, and continued, "well, I was in a death metal band from ages 15 to 17." 

Soaps eyebrows shot to his hairlike, and an amused smirk stretched his cheeks, "for real?" 

“Yup, I was the singer,” she grinned at him, “I had damn good guttural vocals.” She placed the last of her clips in the designated pockets of her vest and leaned back against the wall, now fully looking at him. 

“So, when I was still a private, our team ran into some shit during a mission to dismantle a terrorist group in the Middle East, and I got captured,” she narrated, and Soap couldn’t miss the mischievous glint in her eyes - it was gonna get good, “they started interrogating me, but I wouldn’t speak, and so they starting getting more…” she looked up, as if she was thinking about the appropriate word to describe, “...creative with their approach.” 

Soap simply nodded along - he didn’t need to be explained about what could happen in an interrogation, and didn’t want to surface unwanted memories for Y/n with unnecessary questions. 

“Anyway,” she continued, “after the third or fourth beating, I decided to just fuck with ‘em,” she smirked at him and he mirrored it, feeling a good bit coming, “I started reciting lyrics of some of my favorite death metal bands - in English, German, Swedish, Latin, you name it - using my guttural voice, and shivering and shaking as if I was having a seizure.”

Soap’s eyes opened like sauce plates as he bit his lips, still unable to hide a snort of a laugh at the mental image formed in his brain at her tale. 

“They must’ve shat their pants, thinking I was possessed or something, and they would unleash a curse on them if they killed me” she grinned at the memory, “because half an hour later I was dropped off in the middle of the desert, hands tied and blindfolded. My team found me like an hour later, and started calling me Lucy after I told them what happened,” she smirked, her eyes filled with mischief, “Lucy is short for ‘Lucifer’.”

Soap started cackling then, throwing his head back and hitting the wall in the process. When he finally calmed down, he grinned at Y/n with a mischievous glint of his own in his eyes. “Can you still do the voice?”

Y/n winked an eye at him and sat up straight, taking a swig of water as her eyes searched the room for a target. Her gaze fell on Ghost, who was looking out of the window, unaware that he had also listened to her tale, secretly curious about her callsign origin.

“Hey, Ghost,” she called at him, her dark, throaty voice completely out of order with the rest of her looks, and he sent her a wary glance from his spot at the other side of the room, “have a cig to spare?”

Ghost stared at her for a few seconds, just like the rest of the team looked at her dumbfounded, as Soap wheezed and lost balance, nearly falling on his side.

“...Fuckin’ hell, spawn.”

A/N: *death metal noises*

[mrkis]

nct dream reaction :: saying you love them for the first time

REQUESTED? 〚YES✗〛/ 〚NO〛 ⟶ nct dream reaction you say i love you for the first time

MARK

“you're lucky i love you”

you say it teasingly, clearing up the mess he's created in your kitchen when he tried making you breakfast but ended up burning the eggs and toast. his eyes are comically wide as he watches you fan the smoke out of the window, giggling to yourself as you stare at the monstrosity he's created in the frying pan and mark thinks it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. he's unable to function properly, heart beating widely in his chest as he takes a few cautious steps forward, fingers circling around your wrist to gently tug you around to face him, doe-like eyes staring into your curious ones.

"do you?" he whispers, squeezing your wrist softly. "do you really love me?"

RENJUN

"i love you, renjun"

you say it to him so quietly, just for his ears only and he feels like he's about to burst. he's unable to stop smiling that his cheeks ache, eyes watering slightly as he toys with your hand that's tightly grasped in his. the pretty diamond on your ring finger glistens under the moonlight and he raises your hand, pressing a gentle kiss to the jewellery as he keeps his eyes locked on yours.

"and i love you"

JENO

"i love you"

you say it during some quality one on one time, sitting on the balcony of a hotel you paid for the night, drinking a bottle of champagne and listening to music dressed in bathrobes and comfy slippers. jeno thinks he's heard you wrong at first so he doesn't react, but once the words fully register, he's turning to look at you in shock. he's a little emotional, whether that's from the alcohol or your confession he's unsure, but his heart warms and he feels his cheeks burn as he silently slips his hand into yours and tugs you over to his chair, pulling you into his lap with your back against his chest, holding you so tightly in his grasp as he kisses your cheek.

"i love you too"

HAECHAN

"i kinda love you"

you confession catches him off guard and he slowly swivels around in his chair to face you, sprawled out across his bed on your belly, resting on your elbows as you stare at him with adoration swirling in your irises. his cheeks grow hot under your gaze, hand coming around to scratch the back of his neck sheepishly. he's a little embarrassed at your sudden confession, but his heart warms and he's unable to stop the grin that spreads across his face.

“good” haechan whispers as he leans forward, kissing the tip of your nose. “because i kinda love you too”

JAEMIN

“i’m so in love with you”

you say it while you’re drunk and jaemin’s wiping your makeup off your face so delicately. he doesn’t react because he knows you’re drunk and speaking nonsense, but when you grab at his wrist to stop his movements and stare into his eyes as you repeat it again, that’s when he reacts. his brows soften and his arm relaxes in your hold, a soft smile creeping on to his lips as he leans forwards to kiss yours, pulling back to stare deep into your hazy eyes.

"i'm so in love with you too"

CHENLE

“okay, bye, i love you”

you say it as you hang up the phone, leaving chenle speechless on the other side. he wasn’t too sure if he misheard you or if you actually meant to say those words. you say it to him during text messages but you’ve never verbally said it and is has his heart racing, thumping so wildly in his chest that he’s afraid he’s going to pass out. he calls you back in a instant, shakily holding the phone up to his ear as he hears it ring and the second you pick up, he’s already speaking before you could question him on what’s wrong.

“i love you too”

JISUNG

“i love you”

you say it so suddenly that jisung almost spits out his water, covering his mouth to cough as he chokes. he never expected you to say it, especially in public over some dinner. you're staring at him which makes his face burn, too shy to look at you as he casts his eyes down at his half eaten bowl of pasta. he's shaking from giddiness, unable to stop the movements of his legs that nervously bounce beneath the table. he struggles to use his words, wanting to tell you the exact same confession but he can't, so he grabs your hand, twisting it to face your palm upwards as his index finger traces those four words back to you.

i love you too.

©mrkis

[pentopaper23]

Our own form of courting: Chapter One - Dinner with a final course of courting.

Jealous was not a feeling that Jack was familiar with. As child he would simply take whatever he wanted and maybe deal with the consequences if he was caught.

So, sitting here now he was confused as to why he felt the way he did. He had been invited to yet another dinner at the Governor’s house and was fully expecting it to just be the usual attendees. But when he arrived there was an extra place around the table and a clearly rich man sitting at it. The man was engaging Belle in conversation and from the way she was looking at him Jack knew that she was bored. Jack's hold on his fork tightened when the man patted Belle's hand and she pulled away in annoyance her eyes flicking to his for a second and then returning to the other man.

Jack didn’t really know what their relationship was. Talks of congress and stolen kisses in the hospital storeroom had given him the impression that she was open to further engagement, but the unmoving judgement that was the class system stood in their way. A marriage or really any form of relationship between a Lady and a penniless Doctor was unheard off and not approved of. But the draw to her was unavoidable and they found themselves often tangle together in the storeroom each time she attends the hospital.

He thought about her morning, noon, and night. She was the first thing he thought of in the morning and the last thing at night when he struggled his way up to his room. Thoughts of her filled his head during the day when he was meant to be tending to people and her face filled his mind when he reached for himself at night to stem the ever-growing feeling of want and desire for her. She had frozen the first time she had felt him press hard up against her lower stomach during one of their stolen moments and blushed unable to meet his eyes, when Jack pulled away with stammered apologies. But as time went on, she had grown more assertive in her actions and started to drag moans from Jack when she moved against him as they kissed. One such moment had ended with her legs wrapped around his waist and their hips thrusting together in primal need, Jack had pulled away just in time to avoid spilling in his pants and Belle was left panting and flushed leaning up against the storeroom shelves rubbing her legs together to chase the unknown feeling that was flooding her body. Jack would remember said legs as he stoked himself to completion that night and gasped out her name at the memory of her hips moving against his.

“What say you Dr Dawkins?" Belle said trying to get Jack's attention to avoid speaking to Mr Glendale, "Jack!" she called again when he did not reply. Jack jolted and almost dropped his fork and looked at Belle in confusion. She looked back widening her eyes as if to say, 'save me for the love of god'.

"I’m sorry?" Jack said placing down his knife and fork trying to work out the question that was ask. "I said what do say you about the recent outbreak of flu that is sweeping across the city?" Belle asked again.

"Um, yes very bad indeed. Far too many cases are coming into the hospital, beds are starting to run low my Lady”.

"Father might it be time to talk about the hospital extension? I’m sure Dr Dawkins would be happy to make some recommendations." Belle said looking at her father who was in no way listening to the conversation. He like Jack too struggled to find an answer for a question that he hadn't listened to.

"Yes. Yes, that could be arranged." He said taking a deep sip of his wine really having no idea what he had agreed to. Belle rolled her eyes and looked at Jack with a faint smile. He returned it, that was until Mr Glendale took it upon himself to brush his hand over Belle's arm to garner her attention again. This time Belle didn’t try to hide her annoyance and moved her chair noisily to the side to place some distance between the two. Jack's anger flared up when Mr Glendale tried to hide a look annoyed at her action. Not that he was one to talk given their daily storeroom romps, but at least said romps were away from the public eye and didn’t make her uncomfortable.

Belle was very much over this dinner and the man sitting next to her. If he wasn’t boring her with talk of his “rather large estate” then his hands were wandering. First it was a pat on the hand and next a brush on her arm. She had noticed that Jack seemed to not be able to take his eyes off the man’s hand and she could see he was starting to get annoyed at the man. It wasn’t until Mr Glendale placed a rather firm hand on her upper leg that Belle did something. With a quick slip her knife sliced across the palm of her hand leaving what she thought was a shallow cut.

"Oh, silly me!" Belle gasped holding her bleeding hand in a fist, "I seem to have cut myself. Dr Dawkins if you could be of assistance" she said ignoring her mother disapproval and giving Jack a pointed look. "Yes of course" Jack said getting up and rounding the table to assist Belle with leaving the room. He held his arm out for her, and she took it immediately wishing nothing more then to leave the table.

"Belle, I don’t think..." her mother started but was cut off by her father when Belle let a drop of blood escape her fingers, "Now dear Dawkins can attend her." With a nod to the Governor Jack led her form the room and up to her bedroom.

Belle didn’t think the cut was deep enough to warrant a doctor's attention, but she was sick of being pawned over by Mr Glendale and had needed an exit before Jack leapt over the table and assaulted the man. She had been watching his movements ever since they sat down and knew he was on a wire's edge when she saw his jaw twitch and his hand tighten around his cutlery.

When they reached her bedroom Jack lead her over to her bed and sat her down on the edge. He knelt before her to and began to examine her hand. Contrary to what Belle had thought before it actually was quite a deep cut and would require a bandage of some sort. Jack rose and walked over to her supplies and began searching in silence. Belle could see that he was put out and it wasn’t just his normal annoyance at having to attend a dinner at the estate. She stopped her musing when he knelt back down in front of her and began cleaning the cut. He worked in silence meticulously cleaning cut and she couldn’t help but winced at random intervals when he had to dig in the fabric of the cloth into her broken skin. Blood was still slowly dripping down her palm and he put pressure on the pulse at her wrist to slow down the blood flow.

"I don’t like him touching you," Jack said quietly as he was bent over her hand. Belle bit her lip trying not to laugh, her sweet man was jealous. "Really? I hadn't noticed" she replied with a teasing tone. Jacks jaw twitched in annoyance again and his fingers had started to stoke the inside of her wrist lightly. "He shouldn’t be touching you like that in public" he continued without looking up at her. Wanting to see how far she could push him Belle teased again, "as opposed to how you touch me" she said biting her lip and slowly opening her legs so that he came to rest between them. Jack's fingers paused and she watched how he swallowed deeply, his eyes flicked to the closed door and then back to her hand before he stood up gathered her in his arms and kissing her deeply. Belle reacted in kind by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer to rest against her between her parted legs.

He placed rough kisses down her neck that made her head roll back and she moan deeply. Hands began to franticly grab at each other's clothing and their hips were starting to roll against each other. Soon Jack's jacket had been discarded onto the floor and his necktie was somewhere over Belle’s shoulder where she had thrown it. In-kind the buttons on the front of her dress were undone, as was the under shirt beneath. Jack had pulled them open, and they were revealing her chemise and corset, her skirts was up bunched up around her waist showing a improper amount of leg and a thin sneak peak of her hips. "I don’t want him touching me either" Belle breathed out while Jack was attacking her neck with nursing sucks, and she felt him harden against her stomach in reaction to her words. She could feel that he was tense and not in the normal way he was when they stole kisses, and he was worried about being found or pushing too far into her space. His was tense in a way that made her think he was about to steal her away in the night and never let her out of his sight. Tense in a way she had never seen him before and the only thing she could think of was jealously. Bone deep, soul burning jealously. "I only want you" she confessed grabbing his face between his hands to make him look at her.

"I only want you, Jack. Only you." she continued, and Jack searched her face for any word of a lie. When he found none his shoulders relaxed and kissed her softly. Belle moaned when Jack hitched her legs up around his hips and started to grind against her. A chorus of moans and whimpers echoed in Belle’s room as the pair thrusted against each other. Jack could feel her warm wet heat against his hard length and could feel himself weeping into the inside of his pants. Groaning at the thought of having to reappear downstairs with a wet patch on his pant Jack pulled away and held Belle from him with a firm hand in the middle of her chest.

“What?” Belle panted still slightly moving her hips back and forth, Jack looked down at his erection and blushed when Belles eyes followed, “Oh,” she said. Jack swallowed, “If we go any further, I won’t be able to hide the effects of our actions on the fabric of my pants”. Belle looked confused for a moment and then her eyes widened in understanding, “Can’t you just…take it out?” she asked shyly. Jack pulled her back into his arms, “I could. But we haven’t…” his words faded off hoping she would understand. She did and nodded in understanding, “I want you to. Want to see you” she whispered against his lips before gently biting them. Jack shuddered when he felt her soft hands start to unbutton his pants and buried his head in her neck and moaned when he felt her pulled out his hard cock from its fabric coverings. She timidly stoked him a few times before he had to pull away with a harsh cut off moan of pleasure. He reached down quickly and gripped the base tightly hoping to stop his orgasm. He succeeded and pulled her against him again, returning her legs to high on his hips. He felt her jolt when his warm length brush against her wet womanhood.

He began to slowly thrust against her, and she tightened her arms around him. Their lips slipped together with want and Belle groaning against Jack’s tongue as he licked feverishly into her mouth. She gasped against his kiss as his fingers dug harder into her soft legs and her gasp turned to a needy whine for more when his cock slide over her clit. He groaned desperately; his arms moved to wrap around the small of Belle’s back to pull her in closer as the other hand weaved through the back of her hair. She cried out as he gripped her hair with a sharp but subdued tug, the new position allowing his hard cock to hit her clit harder.

"Goddammit." Jack growled out, his eyes wild with heat and absolute want. His hips were starting to jerk uncontrollably, and Belle was starting to feel a deep pulsating tightening in her stomach. With each rut, Belle could feel the rolling arousal come closer and closer to the edge until she was whimpering into his scathing kiss.

"I...I'm gonna...,” She breathed out against his lips, sharp pangs of ecstasy shooting through her clit as Jack continued to snap his hips against her. He growled low and raw as he let go of her hair and gripped her hips tightly and started to thrust harder into her. Belle cried out and moaned against his tongue as her hands ran through his hair. A few long moments passed before Belle’s hands gripped his hair with a cry, her back arching as she felt her orgasm completely wreck her and made her vision blur around the edges. She heard Jack let out a strangled groan and felt the erratic and final thrust of his hips against her before he stilled, his cock twitching against her still pulsing heat and he buried his face in her neck, his mouth opens in a silent cry of pleasure against her slick skin.

There was silence, the only sound being the panting between the pair and Belle’s soft whimpering as Jack rocked slowly against her trying to draw out every last beat of pleasure form the both of them. Guiding his lips to hers she groaned a final “Jack” into him, and he stilled with his own moan of contentment. They stayed like that for a moment, wrapped up in each other breathing deeply.

“That was…”

“One of many?” Belle jokes pushing him away gently so she would clean herself up. Their mixture releases were coating her mound and inner thighs, and she could feel them sliding down towards the inside of her knees. Jake laughed at her joke as she bent to pick up one of the cloths he had brought over. He lifted her again and began to wipe the insides of her legs and smirked when he brushed over her womanhood, and she jerked with a deep moan.

“Never one of many” he said placing a kiss under her jaw. Before she had time to repay his kindness and clean his now soft cock, there was a sharp knock at the door that had them scrambling to redress and once Jack tad tucked himself back into his pants, he was frantically trying to gather all the medical supplies that had ended up on the floor and hide the cloth that was covered in their releases. He tucked said cloth into his jacket pocket and grabbed a now dressed Belle's hand just in time for the door to open to reveal her mother standing there.

"It should be fine now my Lady. It won’t need stitches." he said patting her hand gently. Lady Jane eyed him suspiciously as he walked past her running a hand through his now messy hair and he threw an apologetic look over his shoulder to the now cornered Belle. They had definitely lost track of time and been upstairs for far too long.

Belle looked away from the retreating form of Jack and played with her well tied bandage trying to not meet her mother’s eye line "Belle...," her mother started in a disapproving tone. "Mama don’t start please," she said knowing what her mother was going to say and she didn’t want to hear it.  

"You may think me unkind Belle, but no relationship with a man of his background can end well and we both know it."

"I love him," Belle said determinedly jumping off the bed and squaring her shoulders to face her mother. Lady Jane took in her daughters flushed complexion, rumbled clothes, and sighed. She closed the door softly and walked closer to her daughter.

"My dear, I know that it may seem like that now. But once reality sets in and you see that he cannot provide for you, the world will snap into a sharp and harsh focus." She said taking her daughters injured hand gently.

"He is a good man Mama and I truly believe he would make happy, and I will want for nothing that I desire" Belle said. Her mother scoffed at this, and Belle ripped her hands from hers and spaced in anger, tears forming in her eyes.

"I don’t care that we won’t live in a house like this!" Belle said waving her hands around her room, "and I don’t care that he has no title. I love him. I love him Mama and I won’t be made to feel bad about that. He is kind, so much kinder than any of the men you have thrown in my path, and he is smart Mama, oh you have no idea how smart he is. At last, I am on equal footing with a man that doesn’t make me feel silly or inadequate. We spend hours talking about a world of things and he listen to me Mama, he really listens to me and cares about my thoughts. He is gentle and when he...and when he kisses me, I never want him to stop. But he always does and there is never any pressure from him to fully ruin myself and by god I want him to ruin me, if just to stop other man from thinking they can have me." Belle said throwing herself at her mother's feet and grasping at her hands, "Mama I am begging you, please give us you’re blessing. I want for no one else and there will be no one else but him" Belle begged again pleading for her mother to understand.

Lady Jane looked at her daughter in shock, she could have sworn that the pasting flash in the pan between the two of them was just that, passing and would burn out once the doctor had had his fill. Never did she think for a second the connect between the two ran this deep. She noted the terrified look in her daughters eyes and the tears that were rolling down her cheeks, she was also trying to ignore the hastily button dress and dark bruises forming low on her neck. She felt Belle's hands tighten in hers and was drawn back to her daughters pleading face and concluded that there was no hope in fighting this connection. She knew that Dr Dawkins gentlemen like ways would not hold out forever and not to mention her daughters own apparent wants and a child born out of wedlock was more of a scandal then her titled daughter marrying a man of a lower station.

Lady Jane had to admit the one thing that Jack Dawkins had his in corner was an unblemished military recorded and an officer title to his name. Military titles and battle born bravely went along way for untitled men in their family's circles and she knew that her husband held Mr Dawkin’s navel career in the highest regard. The truth of the matter was that her daughter could do better, but she could do worse then Naval doctor with no title or family.

"Mama?" Belle asked breaking the silence that had fallen over the two. "We shall speak to you father. Ask your good doctor to stay behind tonight once dinner has concluded." Belle let out a sob and threw herself into her mother's arms, "Thank you Mama! Thank you!"

The rest of dinner passed without issue and easy conversation. Lady Jane now in full understanding of her daughter’s heart was now privy to the small looks the pair shared over the table and the cold looks that Jack sent Mr Glendale each time he spoke to Belle. She had to give it to them, if you didn’t know they were in love you wouldn’t have noticed the slight blush on the doctors face when Belle smiled at him or the slight shake of her daughters hands when Jack smiled back. Lady Jane was trying to think back on the all the dinners the Doctor has attended and was trying to remember if she had noticed the looks before. She couldn’t remember a time and now was even more convinced that they were at least equally paired in their skills of deception if not in their love for each other.

Jack was almost at the front door when he was pulled into the Governer's study and felt lips connected with his. His hands held Belle's face to his and he chuckled as he gently pushed her away, "You will be the death of me" Belle smiled and kissed him again. Jack’s hands started to wander, and she found herself slowly slipping into his warm arms and forgetting why she had pulled him in there. Voices from the hallway brought her back to her senses and she pulled herself away from Jack with a groan. She laughed when Jacks lips tried to follow her, and his eyes were still closed in bliss.

"Mama has given us permission to court" she said quickly and laughed again when is eyes snapped opened. He didn’t say anything and was just looking at her in confusion. Her smiled faded the longer he just stood there in silence. "Jack?" she said confused at his reaction and wondering why he wasn’t more excited at the idea of being with her. Oh god, what is her mother was right Belle thought and the cold feeling of dread began to settle in her flipping stomach. What I he did indeed have no plans of marrying her and what if he lied about their time together and the plan all along was to make her one of his many. She was going to be sick, and she felt a look of disgust forming on her face.

"You said I wasn’t one of many," she said sadly as tears began to form in the corner of her eyes, "You never planned on marrying me did?" she asked his still silent form. Jack on the other hand was reeling, his thought bouncing around his mind faster than he could think about them and all he wanted was to kiss her.

"Jesus Jack!" Belle yelled angrily, "I can't...," But she was cut short by Jack slamming their lips together in a harsh kiss. She lost her footing slightly and stumbled back against the bookcase. Jack was pressed tightly against her and was driving his tongue into her mouth with passionate abandonment. Belle had whiplash and her brain was foggy, his lips were the only thing she could think about.

"What’s the meaning of this?" Her father thundered making the pair break apart as if they had been yank by invisible strings. Jack wiped his mouth his thumb and looked at Belle for help, but Belle was looking at him for the same. Silence fell over the study as the group just stood there, Belle and Jack in slight embarrassment, her mother in shocked annoyance and her father in anger.

"Father," Belle said, but was cut off by her father holding up a finger to silence her. He turned to Jack with a look of fury, "I invite you into this house and this is how you repay me! Taking advantage of my daughter!" He yelled striding towards Jack. Jack had just enough time to duck under her father’s hands and come to stand beside her, Belle took his shaking hand in hers not knowing what else to do.

"My dear calm is needed," He mother said moving to take her father's hand, "Belle and I have spoken on this and I have given my blessing. Perhaps we should speak on this".

"Blessing! What blessing? There is nothing to blessing!" He father continued to yell.

"Father I love him!" Belle yelled back and this silenced the Governor. He looked between the two of them and his eyes fell to their entwined hands. "Love? You barely know him, Isabelle!" He yelled. If Belle was startled by the use of her full name, she didn’t show it, she turned into Jack and wrapped her other hand across her body to hold his forearm, "Yes Father. I love him and he returns my love" she said looking up at Jack with all but stars in her eyes, he returned her look tenfold and rubbed his thumb over their joined hands.

"Why don’t we sit?" Her mother pressed leading her father over to his desk and stood beside him when he sat down. When the pair didn’t move she snapped, "Sit. Now." Belle and Jack rushed to take their place on the chairs opposite her father.

"Explain." the Governor said sharply. Belle started but was cut off again and the Governor spoke to Jack. "Now Lieutenant"

Jack sat up straight as if his rank was an invisible string through the top of his head and held his head high. "I love your daughter Sir. More than I can put into words. I know that my station is of a concern, but I am Gentleman Officer and know what circles my rank provides me entry into. With respect Sir I will love her with or without your permission. If she will have me," Jack said looking towards Belle. She again has tears in her eyes and reached over to hold his hand again. "Belle?" Her father asked, and without looking away from Jack she nodded, "Yes. I return Doctor Dawkins’ feelings and affections whole heartedly."

Her father sighed and slumped back into his chair, "You must know that people will not understand”.

"I don’t care," Belle said quickly looking at her father, "He is a Naval Lieutenant, an Officer and a Doctor. He is not so far beneath my rank to cause gossip and even than we should not listen to it." The Governor nodded and like the military man was he knew when a battle was lost and by the looks of couple sitting before him, he was well and truly beaten.

"Marriage?" He asked Jack plainly. "Eventually with your blessing Sir" Jack answered back with well-rehearsed soldiers’ quickness. The Governor nodded in acceptance and turned to his wife, "My dear?".

"I see no other option, as our daughter has made it bluntly clear there will be no severing of this relationship. Marriage will be the end goal, but six months of courting should temper down any rumours of any...impropriety." Jack and Belle both blushed at her mother insinuation and her father was trying to look anywhere but the couple or the abused bookcase.

"I take it you understand the rules of courting Doctor Dawkins?" Lady Jane asked. "Yes, my Lady," Jack lied and Belle tried to not laugh. Of course, he didn’t know the rules of courting, where he came from courting was a non-issue. Normally pregnancy was the motivation for marriage and many a woman had been forced into an unhappy situation due to a moment of starvation or lust.

"Very well. You have our blessing to court Lady Belle Doctor Dawkins," The Governor said standing up from his desk. He held out his hand for Jack to shake and pulled him in close to speak quietly to him, "Just know Dawkins if any word reaches my ears that you have been improper with Lady Belle or caused her any harm, know that laws don’t cover everything in this place and a father can be far more dangerous than a governor when pushed." He let go of Jack's hand and placed a gentle kiss on Belle cheek before leaving the room.

"You will not embarrass this family do you understand" Lady Jane said to both of them, "No children shall come from this partnership until you are marriage, no untoward public shows of affection and for the love of god Doctor Dawkins no more sneaking into my daughter’s bedroom. We have a front door!" She yelled before following her husband from the room.

Jack let out a sigh and fell back into his chair, Belle moved to sit on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jack relaxed into her hold and wrapped his own arms around her. "You lied" Bell whispered against his neck. Jack shrugged, "Just a small one" he confessed. "You have no idea about the rules of courting" Belle laughed as his hand moved down to fondle her ass. "This isn’t one of them?" Jack asked against her lips as his hands now wandered up to cup her breasts. Belle groaned into their kiss and could feel his equal excitement against her leg.

"Holly hell, we're in trouble" Belle said breaking their kiss to rest their foreheads together. They were both panting and not at all concerned with the fact that they were breaking many of the seemingly unknown courting rules.

"So much trouble," Jack replied before pulling her face back towards his and joining their lips again in a heated kiss.

[nalyra-dreaming]

WAIT OMG! we never actually hear show louis tell lestat that he loves him?? i know i probably sound stupid but i don’t think that’s something i’ve ever truly picked up on until now. i was rewatching some loustat scenes and got extra sad over lestat constantly feeling like he’s rejected and not loved, then it dawned on me that i don’t think louis said it or even showed it?? do you think that type of declaration will happen in future seasons?

this isn’t louis hate btw, i love them both so much

I love them both, too, and yes, ultimately I think we will get it^^.

…. okay this is a bit of a wasp‘s nest, so... fair warning^^.

Quite a while ago the IWTV writer's room (yes they are, or at least were active on Twitter) answered some questions.

One of them was this:

This... produced quite the backlash and made some huge waves around the fandom.

The thing is, Louis withholding and using that withholding (something the writers called "weaponization of language" here is canon behavior in the books, and something Louis in later books apologizes for.

Of course it is all a bit more difficult than the simplified (tweet)answer here. There is for example the added complexity of Louis losing Paul right after saying these words (something that, given this canon behavior does soften (for lack of a better word) said behavior, and as such was very much done on purpose, imho).

In the clip from the "Murder Mansion" we have already seen Armand commenting on the "withholding" as well, so I fully expect the show (aka the writers here) to keep this canon characterization, as they are obviously building on it.

It is something I also touched on the "intimacy post" a while back. Because for Louis and Lestat, in their good times, when they had sex regularly and bit each other during sex... Louis' inability to say the words probably meant next to nothing. Lestat would have been able to read it in the blood.

Only later, when the eating disorder set that fatal downwards spiral off (again, it bears repeating, this is not assigning blame, but it is an important aspect that started with the choice to not eat human anymore) the lack of the said words started to actually weigh on them.

So yes, eventually, the lack of the words was probably very much grating.

And for Louis it might have actually made it impossible to speak them.

Because, from experience^^, when you mean something it can be very, very hard to say that thing, especially if you know you maybe should have said the words earlier, but didn't - for valid reasons - but now... now they just seem unable to pass your tongue.

I think that is something that happened to Louis there. And Lestat probably didn't really feel rejected at first, but more frustrated, then estranged somewhat, mixed with concern, and then anger, and then and then and then... because he loves Louis.

And Louis loves Lestat.

Very much. Too much, maybe. Too much, maybe, for these words.

(Which is also why he and Lestat were both able to so easily say them during murder night, because then... then they were not meant.)

In the books he eventually does put it into words.

… I love you with my whole soul, and I will always love you, [..] you are my life. I have hated you for that and love you now so much that you’ve been my instructor in loving.

...this is from Blood Communion. Since we already know they are taking from that book.... :)

[asa-do-your-thing]

restraint

18+ MINORS DNI Roose Bolton x F!Reader 2.5 k Warnings: P in V sex, porn w/o plot, smut duh, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, blood, orgasm denial, humiliation/degredation ~ reupload due to technical issues ~

You sat as still as you could and watched your husband, Roose Bolton, as he carefully filled out ledgers and wrote missives. A shiver ran over your semi-naked form, your shift not giving you nearly enough warmth. Roose looked up and studied you with his pale eyes, the corners of his lips twitching into something akin to a smile. “Do you know how long you’ve been sitting there already?”, he asked nonchalantly.

You tried your best to look outside without turning your head, a small blush creeping up your cheeks. “No, my Lord, I do not. As long as you have wished me to sit here.”

“Hm, that much is true. And do you remember why you are sitting there, in your shift and stockings?”, he asked, putting his quill away and standing up to pour himself some ale, smiling coldly as he saw the way you gulped to relieve your parched throat.

A crack of thunder made you flinch and your blush spread even further. This was… well, you would’ve thought that you would have died of embarrasment, yet… you were enjoying this just as much as he was. You had seen the way he was constantly shifting in his seat, readjusting himself under his desk - your husband, who to others seemed like the coldest, eeriest man in Westeros, was unable to stay focused on his lordly duties, because he was as pent up as a fourteen-year old boy.

“Because I wished to walk around the Dreadfort in barely any clothes during this storm, so my Lord has decided to punish me for my childish behavior,” you whispered with a tiny smile. “And because I am just such a silly little girl, my Lord has instructed me to wait for him to finish his tasks, without moving from the spot.”

Roose walked towards you slowly, his gaze never leaving your face. He took a sip of ale and licked his lips. "And have you learned your lesson, sweetling?"

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. The hunger in his eyes made heat pool low in your belly. If anyone knew the relationship, the dynamic you had with your husband… But then again, hadn’t your septa and your mother told you that the most important thing in your life would be to serve your husband?

He set the tankard down on a side table and came to stand before you. His fingers traced along your collarbone and down between the valley of your breasts. "I'm not certain you fully understand the consequences of your actions. Perhaps a more thorough punishment is in order."

Before you could respond, his hand fisted in your hair, yanking your head back. You gasped at the sudden sting of pain that melted into pleasure as his lips claimed yours in a bruising kiss.

When he finally released you, you were both breathless. "To the bed. Now," Roose commanded in a voice that brooked no argument.

On shaky legs, you stood and made your way to the large four-poster bed, the cool air caressing your heated skin. You could feel Roose's eyes on you, tracking your every movement like a predator stalking prey.

"Remove your shift and lay on your back," he instructed as he began to methodically remove his own clothing.

With trembling fingers, you untied the laces and let the thin fabric pool at your feet before climbing onto the bed. The furs were soft against your bare skin as you settled against the pillows. This was always the most exhillarating moment - when you saw that Roose was thinking, slowly stroking himself. Thinking how to punish you, thinking about how he could claim you, and you’d only know once he started.

“Gods, you’re pathetic. Already dripping onto the furs,” he stated matter-of-factly and methodically opened your legs, opening them like the maester did when he had examined your maidenhead. “And there I was, trying to punish you. Now you’ll expect me to fuck you senseless so you can get rid of that burning desire?”

You whimpered and squirmed under his intense scrutiny, equal parts embarrassed and aroused by his crude words. "Please, my Lord," you breathed, unsure if you were begging him to stop or to never stop.

Roose chuckled darkly. "Please what, my little whore? Please fuck you until you scream? Please make you come undone on my cock?" He ran a finger teasingly along your slit, making you gasp and arch your back wantonly.

"Yes...oh gods, yes!" you cried, all sense of propriety abandoned in your desperation for his touch. Your mind was awash in a haze of lust, caring for nothing but the ache between your thighs.

"As much as I'd love to bury myself in your sweet cunt, you haven't earned that privilege yet," Roose declared, withdrawing his hand. You nearly sobbed at the loss of contact. He grasped your hips and flipped you over onto your stomach in one swift motion. "Up on your knees. Spread yourself open for me."

Humiliation burned through you as you slowly shifted into the degrading position, face pressed into the furs while reaching back to part your buttocks with trembling hands. Never had you felt so exposed, so vulnerable. The first sharp slap to your rear made you yelp in surprise. Roose rubbed the abused flesh almost soothingly before delivering another. Every slap came harder than the last and your pain became ever greater, but so did your yearning for your husband. “P-please, Lord Hus-Husband… I’ll… I want… I’ll be good, I’ll… control myself…,” you whimpered, your cheeks moist as his hand connected once more with your raw flesh. “Be your… good little… quiet wife…”

Roose's hand paused, resting heavily on your stinging backside. "Will you now?" he mused, his fingers trailing along the crease between your burning cheeks. "And how do I know this lesson will stick? That you won't be traipsing about the Dreadfort like a wanton harlot the moment my back is turned?"

You shook your head frantically against the furs. "I won't, my Lord, I swear it! I'll be good, I'll obey, please..." Your voice cracked on a sob, overwhelmed by the heady mix of pain and desperate arousal.

"Shh, sweetling," Roose soothed, his hand stroking up your spine and tangling in your hair. "I believe you." He used his grip to turn your head to the side so he could see your tear-stained face. "But I'm going to make certain you never forget."

With that, he shifted to kneel behind you, the thick head of his manhood pressing insistently against your cunt. You were so wet, he slid in easily despite the stretch. A broken moan fell from your lips as he filled you completely, your inner walls clenching around his length. Roose set a relentless pace, the harsh slap of skin against skin mingling with your whimpers and cries. One hand locked around your hip while the other was buried in your hair, holding you up cruelly but oh-so-sweetly at the same time.

It felt like heaven. For if there was one thing you loved most about your Lord Husband, it was his ability to make love to you. You knew in your hazy mind that most people would not consider what he did to you to be love, but strangely enough it felt like the highest reward to be treated as such by him. Because even if you were his toy in his chambers, he expected you to be a formidably cold and smart Lady Bolton outside of them.

Your impending release quickly dragged you out of your thoughts and you could do naught but to bury your hands into the furs, wincing and moaning as he pulled you closer onto his cock. Roose's thrusts grew more erratic, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips hard enough to bruise. You could feel your own peak rapidly approaching, your body tensing and quivering in anticipation. Just as you teetered on the precipice of ecstasy, ready to let the waves of pleasure crash over you, Roose suddenly stilled.

With a firm grip, he flipped you onto your back, his pale eyes boring into yours with an intensity that made you shiver. "Did you think I would let you find your release so easily?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm despite his labored breathing. "After your wanton display? No, sweetling. You'll have to work much harder for that privilege."

You whimpered in frustration, your body aching for completion. "Please, my Lord," you begged, trying to rock your hips against him, desperate for any friction. "I need..."

"I know exactly what you need," Roose cut you off, pinning your hips to the bed with bruising force. "But you won't be getting it. Not until I deem you worthy."

He slowly withdrew from your clenching heat, making you cry out at the loss. You felt empty, hollow, your body singing with unsatisfied need. Roose stood from the bed, leaving you sprawled wantonly across the furs, a sheen of sweat glistening on your skin in the candlelight.

"Clean yourself up and compose yourself," Roose commanded sternly as he began to dress. "I expect you presentable and in the Great Hall within the hour."

You struggled to sit up, your limbs trembling from the strain of your denied release. "But my Lord..." you started to protest meekly.

Roose fixed you with a piercing stare that silenced you instantly. "Do not make me repeat myself, wife. You will do as you're told or face further consequences. I will not tolerate disobedience."

With that, he swept from the room, leaving you alone with your frustrated arousal and stinging shame. Gingerly, you rose from the bed on unsteady legs and made your way to the wash basin. As you cleaned the evidence of your coupling from your thighs, you couldn't help but grin. He was mean, wicked even, but you knew that was exactly what he needed - a soft wife for himself and a strong partner, who supported him on the outside. The only thing that could not be convinced of your love and respect for your husband was your weeping, fluttering cunt that wished for nothing but sweet release.

After carefully pinning up your mussed hair and donning a demure gown, you made your way to the Great Hall as instructed. Roose was already seated at the high table, surveying the gathered household with cool appraisal. You took your place beside him, locking your eyes with his, curtsying and sitting down next to him, displaying your expected power and gave him a respectful kiss on his cheek. “Lord Husband.”

Roose nodded in acknowledgement but his eyes remained fixed ahead, not sparing you a glance. Throughout the meal, he engaged in discussion with his men, barely paying you any mind. You tried to focus on your food but found your appetite lacking, still keenly feeling the ache between your thighs.

As servants cleared away the dishes, Roose finally turned to you. "Walk with me, wife," he said, rising from his seat. It was not a request.

You followed obediently as he led you out of the Hall and into the torch-lit corridor. The stone was cold beneath your slippered feet. Roose didn't speak, the only sound the swishing of your skirts and his measured footsteps. He came to a halt before a heavy wooden door - the entrance to his study.

Producing a key, he unlocked the door and gestured for you to precede him up the winding stairs. Your heart raced in both trepidation and anticipation. At the top, you emerged into the study itself, the scent of parchment and leather filling your nostrils. Roose shooed the servant away and locked the door behind you with a resounding click.

"Disrobe and bend over the desk," he commanded calmly, as if merely commenting on the weather. “Don’t make me wait.”

Your fingers trembled slightly as you untied the laces of your gown, letting the heavy fabric slide from your shoulders to pool at your feet. The chill air pebbled your nipples and you bent over, spreading your thighs for him. “Thank you…,” you whispered with a small smile and gasped as he wrapped his hand around your throat, silencing you. You could distinctly feel his other hand tugging his cock out of his breeches - gods, he didn’t even take them off - and positioning it against your entrance.

“One squeak and I’ll stop and then you won’t get anything at all, my girl,” he muttered, lust tinging his own voice. “Enjoy it.”

With one powerful thrust, Roose sheathed himself fully inside your aching core. The sudden intrusion made you gasp, but you quickly bit your lip to stifle any further sounds, heeding his warning. He set a brutal pace, each snap of his hips driving him deeper, stoking the embers of your arousal into a raging inferno.

The hand at your throat tightened just slightly, not enough to truly restrict your breathing but serving as a constant reminder of his complete control. His other hand gripped your hip, blunt nails digging into the soft flesh as he used the leverage to pull you back onto his cock.

You braced your hands against the sturdy desk, knuckles white as you struggled to maintain your silence. Each thrust seemed to hit that secret spot within you, sending jolts of electricity racing up your spine. Roose was not a vocal lover, but you could hear his breathing growing more labored, could feel him throbbing inside you as he chased his own release.

Despite the authority he wielded over you, in these intimate moments you knew you held a power over him too. The usually cold and stoic Lord of the Dreadfort, driven to base animal instinct by the heat of your body. It was intoxicating.

The pressure built inexorably, your inner walls beginning to flutter around his pistoning length. You were so close, balancing on a knife's edge, desperate for that final push to send you careening into ecstasy. Your teeth clenched as hard as they could and tears of desperate pleasure dripped down onto Roose’s hand. Please, you wished to mumble, please, I’ve been so good, but you restrained yourself and simply breathed deeply.

Roose could sense your impending climax, the telltale quiver of your walls giving you away. With a particularly hard thrust, he growled low in your ear. "Now, wife. Come for me now."

His command was your undoing. The coil within you snapped and your orgasm crashed over you in wave after wave of searing bliss. You convulsed around him, mouth open in a silent scream as pleasure radiated out to the very tips of your fingers and toes. Through the haze, you could feel Roose's thrusts grow erratic before he buried himself to the hilt, spilling his hot seed deep inside you with a guttural groan.

For a moment, you both remained locked together, chests heaving as you came down from your carnal high. Then Roose withdrew, leaving you feeling bereft and empty. On shaky legs, you turned to face him, seeing him tuck himself back into his breeches, his expression once again an unreadable mask.

"Clean yourself up," he instructed brusquely. "And make sure you're properly covered. I won't have my wife parading around looking like a well-used whore."

"Yes, my Lord," you replied demurely, even as a secret smile played at the corners of your lips. You knew that beneath his icy exterior, you held sway over Roose in a way no one else did. It was a heady feeling. So when you were dressed and presentable, you gently took Roose’s hand and gave him a small smile, drawing him closer and giving him a soft, gentle kiss with your bloodied lips.

Roose stiffened momentarily at the tender gesture, unused to such open affection directly after his punishments. But after a heartbeat, he relaxed into the kiss, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. When you pulled back, he studied your face intently, his pale eyes searching yours for any hint of deception or manipulation. He found only genuine warmth and devotion reflected back at him.

"You are a strange creature," he murmured, thumb brushing over your kiss-swollen lips, smearing the blood. "Soft and yielding, yet possessing a core of steel. You would let me do the most depraved things to you, and still look at me with such...love." He said the word as if it were foreign on his tongue.

You leaned into his touch, turning your head to press a kiss to his palm. "I am yours, my Lord. In body, mind, and soul. There is nothing you could do to change that."

Something flickered in Roose's eyes, there and gone too quickly to identify. He lowered his hand and stepped back, putting distance between you once more. "We shall see," he said cryptically. "Now go, before I decide to bend you over the desk again."

You dipped into a curtsy, a secret smile playing about your lips. "As my Lord commands." With that, you turned and slipped from the study, feeling Roose's eyes boring into your back.

[n-fblog]

Reo, Nagi, and Differences from the Main Manga

Thoughts from Episode: Nagi, chapter 17

Reo:

This chapter was kind of needed for him to "abandon" his ego of becoming the best with Nagi (and we can see it sort of fading in the textbox) -- and simultaneously get rid of that growing attachment he has to Nagi. Really sad to see him say, "thank you" as if he doesn't even have the strength to break them apart himself (and he didn't)

The chameleon makes its first chronological appearance so we can clearly see him start to 'adapt' his thinking and playing even though it's not fully fleshed out yet, which is exciting! I wasn't sure if that was something he made up with Shidou before, but it's hilarious to know it all started with Nagi, AGAIN. Or maybe this is the manga trying to convey that he's changing himself to help Nagi walk away lol

His inferiority complex with Nagi makes itself kind of known here, with the monologue- "Those are the words *I* wanted to say,," but was unable to...

Somehow, Nagi being able to encourage Reo makes him the stronger one mentally -- which is tough for someone who subconsciously already thinks he can't go very far without Nagi skill-wise.

Poor guy... and he still has so far to go before he starts to think he can fight on his own.

Nagi:

Man, this chapter pretty much confirms that their mischaracterization and miscommunication goes both ways lol. Nagi spitefully admonishes that he isn't Reo's 'toy' when Reo flips from "wanting to be the best" to "wanting to stay together"-- These guys have such a hard time acknowledging their friendship outside of football, it's actually painful.

I can't tell if he made any sort of connection betweey 'toy' and being Reo's 'treasure'. But that's almost definitely a metaphor on Reo's part. What a lot of people misuse is that Reo calls Nagi his 'treasured possession' when I really, truly don't think he meant viewing Nagi as a literal object. But how else do you expect a rich boy who's only been shown love through material things to describe something he values? *(see tags for a rant on this lol)

I do wish we'd gotten more insight into how he felt when he heard what Reo said in the moment, but this chapter was already long as it is. I do think Nagi's expressions sort of speak for themselves.

I mean, he straight up looks like he's about to cry here. 

I would argue that part of Nagi's promise to 'stay together' during the entrance actually includes 'believing in each other' like he says here:

 And if that's the case, then what did Reo's claim of abandonment mean to him? Was it that Reo didn't believe in Nagi's newfound drive to win? Or was he mad that Reo didn't believe in himself? I think it's a bit of both, but I really want to see more thoughts in the manga or from the fandom

Blue Lock vs. Episode: Nagi

So... Nagi definitely seems more angry in this chapter, right? When you revisit Ch. 76, you can see that Nagi is a lot more apologetic towards Reo

( Here you see him lament not growing alongside Reo, but fired up and excited to work with Isagi)

vs. what we saw this chapter

(Nagi saying sorry and acknowledging he's changed, but looking less toward the future and more resisting the past)

Maybe this is just a difference in translations, but "I can't [am not able to] go back" feels a little different from "I won't go back" -- the former just feels like an admission (to Reo), while the latter feels a lot more confrontational, a downright refusal to go along with what Reo wants.

And that's fine, but it does reshape how I thought about Nagi, and I think it really emphasizes just how pissed he was at Reo by the end of 2nd Selection.

This reframes their interaction during U-20 tryouts for me. I originally thought it was mostly setting up Reo's chameleon style defense and Reo's internal conflict (which it is) but EpiNagi really just shows that Nagi also has a ways to go before they reunite in Manshine

I think this could be the panel (from Ch. 107, 3rd Selection) where Nagi forgives Reo -- it's the point where Reo sort of shows he understands Nagi's drive to win, and that he doesn't value staying together over improving anymore. After that, they have no issues (in Nagi's eyes) so it was probably easy to imagine walking up to Reo during MC v BM and asking for his help ... but man, we still have a long way til then, and I can't wait for EpiNagi to probably prove me wrong :p

[bestloversfan]

We're in 2023, and there are still people trying to argue that Katniss was aro/ace and never felt romantic/sexual attraction for Peeta... 🤦🏻‍♀️ I could write a long meta about this for the milionth time, but this time I'll do something different. I'll just show some quotes from the books.

If she was unable to feel romantic/sexual attraction and only ever had platonic feelings for him, what are all of these quotes supposed to mean?

"He gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me." (The Hunger Games)

"This is the first kiss that we’re both fully aware. Neither of us hobbled by sickness or pain or simply unconscious. Our lips neither burning with fever or icy cold. This is the first kiss where I actually feel stirring inside my chest. Warm and curious. This is the first kiss that makes me want another." (The Hunger Games)

"So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck,’ says Peeta. For a moment, I’m almost foolishly happy and then confusion sweeps over me. Because we’re supposed to be making up this stuff, playing at being in love not actually being in love." (The Hunger Games)

[...]"His face takes on a special look when he concentrates. His usual easy expression is replaced by something more intense and removed that suggests an entire world locked away inside him. I’ve seen flashes of this before: in the arena, or when he speaks to a crowd, or that time he shoved the Peacekeepers’ guns away from me in District 11. I don’t know quite what to make of it. I also become a little fixated on his eyelashes, which ordinarily you don’t notice much because they’re so blond. But up close in the sunlight slanting in from the window, they’re a light golden color and so long I don’t see how they keep from getting all tangled up when he blinks.

One afternoon Peeta stops shading a blossom and looks up so suddenly that I start, as though I were caught spying on him, which in a strange way maybe I was. But he only says, “You know, I think this is the first time we’ve ever done anything normal together.” (Catching Fire)

"I don't know what I expected from my first meeting with Peeta after the announcement. A few hugs and kisses. A little comfort maybe. Not this." (Catching Fire)

“When Peeta holds out his arms, I walk straight to them. It’s the first time since they announced The Quarter Quell that he’s offered me any sort of affection. He’s been more like a very demanding trainer, always pushing, always insisting Haymitch and I run faster, eat more, know our enemy better. Lover? Forget about that. He abandoned any pretense of even being my friend. I wrap my arms tighly around his neck before he can order me to do push-ups or something. Instead he pulls me in closer and buries his face in my hair. Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. It feels so good, so impossibly good, that I know I won’t be the first to let go." (Catching Fire)

"I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.

'I do', I say. 'I need you'." (Catching Fire)

"I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down.

This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up on talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind." (Catching Fire)

"When I wake, I have a brief, delicious feeling of happiness that is somehow connected with Peeta." (Catching Fire)

"I sit next to Peeta on the sand to eat my rolls. For some reason, it's difficult to look at him. Maybe it was all that kissing last night, although the two of us kissing isn't anything new. It might not even have felt any different for him." (Catching Fire)  

"I sit back on my bed cross-legged and find myself rubbing the smooth iridescent surface of the pearl back and forth against my lips. For some reason, it’s soothing. A cool kiss from the giver himself." (Mockingjay)

"I’m light-headed with giddiness. What will I say? Oh, who cares what I say? Peeta will be ecstatic no matter what I do. He’ll probably be kissing me anyway. I wonder if it will feel like those last kisses on the beach in the arena, the ones I haven’t dared let myself consider until this moment." (Mockingjay) 

“Sometimes when I’m alone, I take the pearl from where it lives in my pocket and try to remember the boy with the bread, the strong arms that warded off nightmares on the train, the kisses in the arena. To make myself put a name to the thing I've lost. But what's the use? It's gone, he's gone. Whatever existed between us is gone." (Mockingjay)

"Despite what I feel for Peeta, this is when I accept deep down that he'll never come back to me." (Mockingjay)

"On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. [...] So after, when he whispers, 'You love me. Real or not real? I tell him, 'Real'." (Mockingjay)

There's more quotes like that, but I think these are enough. Now, can you all please stop pretending that these quotes don't exist and accept the fact that there's canon evidence refuting the belief that Katniss was aro/ace and never felt romantic/sexual attraction for Peeta? 😑

[cookies-over-yonder]

roll for panic attack

During a sleepover at Mordred Manor, Jawbone finds Riz curled up on the kitchen floor.

ao3

hello fh fandom!! i wrote this a week ago after catching up!

When Jawbone steps through the living room of Mordred Manor on his way to grab a glass of water, he expects to see every kid sleeping soundly.

What he doesn’t expect is an empty sleeping bag where Riz should be.

As he approaches the kitchen, the sound of staggered breathing becomes louder.

And when he steps inside, he sees the little investigator curled up into a ball on the floor, leaning against the fridge.

Jawbone isn’t sure this kid even has a set of pyjamas, considering he’s always wearing the same button up and hat even when he should be asleep.

“Riz?” he says quietly, so as not to startle him.

“ Gah! Hiss!” Riz whips his head up, baring his fangs, and has one hand on his gun immediately.

“It’s just me, kiddo,” Jawbone says, kneeling down in front of him.

Riz’s eyes widen, and he shrinks back a little. “Right—yeah—yes, sorry,” Riz stutters out, and now that his face is out from being pressed against his knees, his panting is a whole lot louder. “Am—am I in your way? I can—”

Riz scoots away from the fridge swiftly, only to hit his head on an open drawer and wince, back away, and fruitlessly wipe sweat off his forehead.

“It’s okay, kid,” Jawbone says, fully sitting across from him and closing the drawer. “Now, what’s going on?”

Riz averts his gaze, and Jawbone notices his trembling hands.

“Nothing is going on, Jawbone,” Riz says, continuing to wipe sweat off his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Looks to me like you’re having a bit of a panic attack.”

“What? No—I…” he bites his lip, searching for words. “I’m not—I don’t—I just couldn’t sleep,” he stutters out between small gasps, “I mean, I wasn’t going to anyway. Someone’s gotta keep watch, right?” he asks himself desperately, eyes wide and hands frantic. “Shit, I should probably get back over there—why did I even come to the kitchen? I—I—I’m so stupid—”

He lets out a squeak, and starts fully hyperventilating, unable to speak and clawing at the fabric of his shirt.

“Kid, hey, hey, can you hear me?”

Riz shuts his eyes, letting tears fall, and nods, curling further in on himself.

“You’re okay, Riz, we’re gonna do a breathing exercise, okay?”

Riz nods again, and he opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a whine.

Jawbone does a fairly simple one with him, in for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Square breathing seems to help the most with the kids he sees at Aguefort, he finds.

After a few rounds of that, Riz is breathing slightly easier. “I’m fine,” he says, voice hoarse and weak. “Good. I—I’m good. You can go… do whatever you came here to do.”

“Kiddo, do you get panic attacks often?” Jawbone asks, pointedly ignoring Riz’s request.

“It’s not…I’m fine,” Riz glares at him. “You don’t need to worry.”

“You didn’t answer my question. I’m only asking out of concern, you know.”

“Well I—” he starts, and then his face falls. “I don’t know?” he admits, gaze glued to the floor. “I’m good, though. A little bit of anxiety is good. It’s good. It keeps me working. Keeps people safe.”

“A little is good, but it seems to me like you’re working with a lot, Riz. You’re still shaking,” Jawbone adds, gesturing to his hands.

“I’m used to it. Besides, the more sleep I get, the less work I get done,” he says, and he says it so matter-of-factly, Jawbone’s concern increases tenfold.

“The more sleep you get, the better you’ll feel,” he says softly, “Has your anxiety been keeping you up at night?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s normal. Look, are we done talking about this? I’m good now.”

“Alright, do you want some water before you go back to your sleeping bag?”

“No,” Riz says, getting up and walking out of the room.

Jawbone makes a mental note to have a longer chat with him in the morning.