#I won’t be able to go through with the stickers unless I get orders though

[blahandwhatever]

Haven’t been getting around to this blog partly because I keep getting too sleepy too early. My body is persistent in its efforts to shift back my sleep schedule, and my mind agrees wholeheartedly, but the forces of habit and convenience keep holding their ground.

It’s unusual for my body to even want this. Last time it happened was when I housesat for my parents almost a year ago (fuck that time flew by - I think partly because of the mental/physical states I was in for much of it). Maybe it’s all the sunlight I’m regularly getting. Lately I want to go outside So Much. Last week, after the air improved, I suffered through walks in oppressive heat and humidity because I just had to get out into nature and had to move, then went to Schaumburg on Saturday and, craving novelty and flowers, Evanston on Sunday. Stopped by the Merrick Rose Garden, high-rated online but underwhelming in person. Tried to visit the lighthouse and the lake and the park and maybe wander the Northwestern University campus but didn’t do much in the end because there was no free parking nearby and I didn’t have an accepted payment method. If I’d gotten there earlier, I’d just park father - back by the garden or whatever - but it was late, so, after some unsuccessful circling around, I headed back home. At least I glimpsed some different architecture and scenery, I guess.

On the way home, my mother finally called. My father was still being an asshole. Not as badly as before, and going back and forth between resisting the divorce and saying he’d cooperate, but still. Switching up manipulative tactics to more ‘nice’ ones, trying to paint my detached-AF-from-this-family adult brother like a little kid who longed for the ‘good old days’ of his parents’ marriage, full of shit like always. She said she doubted he’d read my email. I was angry either way. Later, I channeled the angry/anxious energy into completing four job applications I’d been procrastinating on. Eventually I calmed down. Eventually I had some fun.

Tuesday she called again, happier, sharing she’d officially filed for divorce (though who knows how long or complicated the process might be), explaining all about that, asking as always for reassurance that she was doing the right thing. She’s so weak-willed, she says, without support. Her brother says the same about himself.

She asked if I’d visit anytime soon, and I said maybe. It had been a while, and I wanted to, minus the father factor. But it had to happen eventually? So I braced myself to potentially visit this weekend, imagined how things might go, and mostly just carried on with that cloud hanging over me - until finally I decided, no. I don’t want to be around my father unless there’s a real improvement and, ideally, he shows some actual remorse. I’ll only visit if and when I’m sure he won’t be there. I’m fine with meeting my mother elsewhere if she wants. And my brother, well, I miss him, but he’s fine and absorbed in his own life anyway. I’ll see him sometime before he goes back to college. If it weren’t for my money situation, I would’ve invited him out somewhere, but alas, the Situations are co-occurring.

Again the end of the month has come and gone, some bills paid, some sacrificed, some stressed days wondering how I would manage it all. Had to choose between catching up on car insurance and renewing my registration before it expired; chose the latter for now because it was a more likely thing to get me stopped by police (though I later remembered that last year’s sticker only had the year on it, not the month - so I’m not sure if they’d be able to tell? nevertheless feeling slightly nervous driving around while I wait for the sticker to arrive in the mail - could only order online because of my complicated fucking payment method situation). Will probably need to borrow some money from my mother again for rent - feel very bad, it’s bad timing, though she has savings. Never asked my parents for money last time I went through this, despite it going on longer and being worse, but I had personal loans and, for a while, a lenient landlord; can’t get the former now and don’t want to test the latter again.

The new job is still going fairly smoothly. I get projects every week and get paid for each one promptly, unlike the once-or-twice-a-month paychecks of my other jobs, which is helpful for tiding me over week to week but still not that much in total. The work is slow and tedious compared to my other jobs, despite the relatively low requirements and the high satisfaction with my work (so I don’t really have to worry/obsess that much?), because it’s just a type of content that calls for being thought through and engaged with to a greater degree. Still, I’m sure things will speed up at least a bit with time, as they usually do.

Still no progress with any other jobs, and some more rejections.

Parts of the parking lots, including mine, have been under construction for over a week, which means I keep having to park farther away. It’s been dragged out a little too long but otherwise okay - I’m getting some new perspectives on, and rekindled appreciation for, this place I’ve gotten so used to by now. Twice one day I saw an adorable marshmallow kitty squished against the railings of a balcony on The Other Side, peering out intently.

Today I had another taste-testing study, on high-protein, low-sugar brownies, which were miserable, just utterly pointless wastes of existence. Never understand ‘healthy indulgences’ that are absolutely nothing like the indulgence they are imitating and, indeed, in no way indulgent at all. There are straight-up protein bars not pretending to be anything else that taste much better, and so many healthy foods that are actually tasty too, so like, who actually tortures themselves with these pleasure-obliterating imitations of foods that are ALL about pleasure to begin with. Just have the real deal in moderation.

Anyway, I had to get up early for this study, which left me tired but took me out into the world at a beautiful time I almost forget exists, returning by noon to everything bathed in resplendence. It really would do me good to have regular exposure to this.

Spent most of the day tired but feeling fine, finally replenished some energy with a nap, wore a pretty dress for the first time in a while, and went shopping in the evening, feeling - also for the first time in a burdened, distracted while - like a real person in the world. I saw a pretty sunset, found my favorite salmon meal at Jewel, had a nice safe-feeling walk in the dark through my nice little complex, and thought, not for the first time, of how easy it is to love life, how impossible for some, to the point of holding others hostage, to squeeze out of them a pale imitation of happiness at any cost.

[thefanficmonster]

Time And Time Again

Dream x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Romance, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Basically a rundown of some of the most recent cute moments brought to you by the most adorable will-they-won’t-they couple: Y/N and Dream.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request, it really made my day when I received it! I hope I captured what you wanted and what you had in mind in the fic and I hope you enjoy the read! This is my first time writing for Dream so I hope I don’t mess it up hehe. Love, Vy ❤

“I don’t wanna go in the cave!“ Y/N squeals in terror when she realizes that in order to make progress in the game and continue moving onward with the story, she has to walk Blake through the dark, dingy and danger-ridden cave in Outlast 2. The gang’s all there with her on a Discord call to keep her company, knowing she’s a scaredy cat underneath that tough girl exterior. And being the scaredy cat she is while also having a preference for horror games has made Friday nights very interesting for her and her friends: her, Clay, George and Sapnap sit on a Discord server while she streams whatever horror game she had planned for the evening to her close to her thousands of viewers. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll come with you, imma hold your hand the whole time.“ Clay volunteers wholeheartedly without a second to waste.

Much to his disappointment, however, Y/N’s reply to that is: “Not until you go wash off all that cheeto dust that’s all over your fingers.“

Clay gasps dramatically, “How DARE you? I offer you help and comfort and this is the thanks I get? I hope one of those heretics in teaches you a lesson!”

While the pair are now in a full-on ‘heated’ dispute on their manners and politeness, bringing back things they did wrong as far back as three years ago, George and Sapnap are just connecting the dots silently.

“Wait, Y/N...“ George is the one to finally speak up, “How’d you know he’s eating cheetos?”

Taking a momentary break from the bickering, Y/N reassumes her more sweet tone of voice as he addresses him, “He freaking raided my cabinets and has eaten all my snacks already! He’s only been here for two hours, damn it!”

“Don’t make it sound like I inhaled a mountain of snacks in two hours! You literally had only two bags of snacks - meant for one person, mind you!“ Clay argues back, neither him nor Y/N realizing that this accidental outing will send their fandoms in a fit.

Of course, people hang out at their friends’ all the time, nothing weird there. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal to anyone if Sapnap didn’t say:

“How come Clay has the privilege of coming over to place and George and I don’t?“

Oh boy...

                                                             *  *  *

“Hi everyone! I know you guys couldn’t care less for an intro so Imma get right into it...“ Y/N says, all seemingly in one breath, “You see this masked man next to me? This tree of a man right here? Yes? Good, well judging by that poorly made cardboard mask he’s wearing - curtsey of yours truly - you probably already know who he is. If not, meet Dream, aka Clay, aka the raincloud above my parade.“

That specific laugh echoes throughout the room as the said tree-of-a-man wraps an arm around the significantly smaller girl’s shoulders, pulling her closer till their sides collide, “She loves me, trust me, she does.”

“Only when you bring me food though.“ She corrects him, wiggling his shoulders to see if she could set herself free from his grip but relaxing in his embrace when she realizes she won’t be going anywhere unless he willingly lets her go.

Clay tilts his head to the side to look at her through the holes poked into the mask before lifting his free arm to reveal the plastic bag he’s been holding all this time. “Oh, well then I wonder what I’ve got over here...”

“Oh my God, Panda Express! You’re the best, Clay.“ She squeals, grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down while she simultaneously pushes up on her toes to place a kiss on his cheek which is a tiny bit exposed to her between the mask and the hood he’s got over his head.

Before the man could even recover, he finds himself empty handed, having lost the girl and having lost the bag of food to the girl.

That kiss was worth it though.

                                                             *  *  *

“Ok, so I’ve seen this ‘my girlfriend does my makeup’ challenge going around and since I’m single as all hell, I got my best friend Y/N here to do my makeup.“ Clay points to Y/N who’s holding a makeup bag in one hand and is giving him a very disappointed look, “Judging by the look on her face, she’s not at all impressed but I promise to make her a bit more excited to be here in editing.“

“Of course I’m unimpressed, this is the troll video of troll videos!“ She complains, throwing her arms up, “Sure I’ll do your makeup and get a kick out of it myself but none of them will see it!“ She points to the camera, “None of them will know what amazing makeup artist skills I’ve got.“

This leaves Clay speechless for a moment, uncertain of how to reply to her statement before just deciding to say: “Well, at least you’ll be getting a kick out of it, that’s all that matters to me.”

“Aww...“ Y/N bats her eyelashes at the camera as her bottom lip forms an emotional pout, “Please don’t be so sweet to me after I just verbally kicked your ass. You always do that and make me feel like the meanest person in the world.“

“Aww Y/N, I’m so sorry.“ He says, sounding genuinely apologetic as he wraps his arms around the girl that’s tiny in comparison to him, bringing her closer to him with his tight hug.

“YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN!“

                                                             *  *  *

“Hey Clay, I bought lunch on the way so I hope you’re-” Walking into her friend’s recording room abruptly, Y/N finds herself face to face with his webcam, the light next to which is glowing, suggesting the device is on and she’s currently on the screens of the thousands of people watching Dream’s stream. His mask is on - the one she made for him - of course, but she can still feel the aura of him smiling, relieving her of the worry that he’ll be irritated by her walking in like that - unannounced and without knocking. To be fair, they never announced to one another when they’d be stopping by and by this point in their friendship they have also stopped knocking too. “You’re streaming, huh?”

“Yup!“ The word is said in such a teasing manner she almost allows herself to blush, “What you got there tho?“

“Chipotle.“ She answers shortly, “And I’m starving so can we please turn your stream into a Mukbang?“ She furrows her brows as she inspects what’s on his computer screen, looking at a comment section instead of the usual screen of a game she’s used to seeing. “What are you doing, anyway?“

Looking back at his screen for a brief moment before turning back to her, Clay replies, “Oh, just reading mean comments, as one does to boost their self-esteem.”

The flash of anger he sees on Y/N’s face is most certainly not what he was inspecting to see. Mockery, yes. Humor, yes. Faux sympathy followed by some mean comments of her own, definitely. But he anger he did not see coming at all.

“Who’s talking shit about you? I’ll end them!“ Putting the plastic bag of delicious food aside, forgetting all about it in the process, Y/N grabs a chair and drags it over next to Clay’s so she too can look at his screen.

And that boy has never felt so much adoration for his best friend. Their fans - and especially their shippers - would’ve lost it if they had been able to see the look he was giving her.

                                                             *  *  *

(back to the ‘girlfriend/best friend does my makeup vid’)

“Ok, so what kind of look do you want me to give you?“ Y/N asks as she sits down on the stool in front of Clay, her makeup products placed on the dining table which is to her right.

“You ask me as though I know what I want.“ Clay laughs, the sticker of his mask floating above his face, following his movements as to keep his features hidden, “Just do the look you do on yourself everyday. It looks really cute on you, who knows, I might be able to pull it off too.“

“Sure thing.“ She smiles at her friend’s compliment, “Just stand still, ok?“

“Yes, ma’am.“

                                                            *  *  *

“Y/N, no! Stop!“ Clay warns her via the Discord call while the two are streaming Minecraft together alone for once, “Not another word!“

“But I really do feel bad!“ Y/N whines in response, “Why don’t you allow me to apologize?“

“Because there’s nothing to apologize for!“ He says, clearly done with the conversation, “I willingly gave you my jacket, you didn’t ask for it.“

“And now you’ve got a cold because of it!“ She continues arguing her case, “The least I can do is come over to take care of you.“

“I don’t need a pity nurse, thank you very much.“ Clay bites back, “But your company would be nice. Though I don’t want you to catch whatever cold I have.“

“I’d catch any cold for you, Clay.“ She replies teasingly - with a ton of honesty underneath that teasing.

Honesty both her and Clay are aware of. As well as the mob of people watching their streams right now.

                                                             ~  ~  ~ And so the snowball effect continues with little moments sprinkled throughout their online presences that make the snowball of shipping get bigger and bigger. Every now and then, both Y/N and Clay let little bits of their true adoration and admiration for the other slip through. And time and time again do those moments send their fans in a frenzy. 

Rightfully so.

@kia-isabelle

[jostepherjoestar]

Maybe Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Leone friendship HCs with a fem friend thats llike your generic dumbass but they are just like a soft dumbass, she is just too cute to get mad at no matter how stupid she is. So basically a smol sweet dumbass that just radiate baby energy. Like she just runs up to them saying she want to show them something cool and its just a pretty rock but she looks so happy xjsbkss 💖

Pure of heart, dumb of ass fem!friend with Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Abbacchio HC’s

sfw // fem reader

lemme just say, reader is baby and that’s valid 🥰this is so adorably pure ugh ya done killed me anon 🥺💖✨(can very much relate tho, glad my friends put up with my dumb antics)

Jotaro:

“Why am I friends with you again? Yare yare...” A phrase you’ll hear every time you’re hanging out with this tall bastard. He’ll tease you for being a bit of a dumbass but is incredibly drawn to how kind, sweet and absolutely thoughtful you are.

You remind him of Josuke and Okuyasu which only makes him like you even more. And the added cuteness-factor made him admit to himself he does indeed love cute things, no matter how adamantly he denies it to you.

His favourite thing to do is bring you along to the beach for field research, knowing just how wide eyed and giddy you get when you’re allowed to collect shells and rocks or even poke a jellyfish. You seem very good at spotting irregularities in your surroundings, making quite the good assistant to Dr. Kujo.

You’re even allowed to help with lab research, studying petri dishes filled with algae as you excitedly point out a very important detail he hadn’t noticed yet, too tired from working such long hours. Sometimes you’re quite the genius without even trying.

More than anything he loves the amount of lightness you bring to his life, his studies and general headspace take a large toll on him. Any relief is a welcome one.

He’ll often find himself smiling at the thought of hanging out again, staring at the collection of trinkets he keeps in a cute little Hello Kitty box you once gave him, which rests on his nightstand as a reminder that it can’t hurt to adapt your lifestyle of mindless giddy; even just the tiniest bit.

Risotto:

Being close friends with Risotto seems a bit impossible without being in his squad, he’s very insistent at keeping outsiders of Passione more than an arm-length away. Good thing that the stoic man is your capo, phew!

He’s apprehensive at first, not really sure why the soft round pebble you brought him reminded you of the man as he studied the mineral, admiring its softness. “It’s like you! Soft and worn down, but very sturdy and unbreakable.” smiling sweetly at him, excitedly awaiting a response.

What was this new feeling of being appreciated and cared for? Risotto’s never really experienced a friendship so pure. He’ll quietly thank you for the pebble and keeps it on his desk, staring in awe as he’s reminded of your kind words every time he spots it.

He knows the others like to tease you for not always being aware of general human knowledge, shooting them an intense glare as a warning to keep any rude comments or jokes to themselves.

Your friendship consists of him mostly listening to you, quietly taking in all the stories you divulge- so full of excitement, telling him facts you picked up somewhere; the source of these often containing varying levels of credibility. He won’t correct you though. (unless it’s something that might actually endanger you)

He values your friendship so.much. He’s not used to being treated so kindly, receiving random gifts, being praised for a job well done, having someone who doesn’t judge him in the slightest. He’ll do whatever he needs to keep you safe, from others and yourself, along with trying to return your kindness and care. (he tries his best and it’s so cute)

(you guys hold hands for safety when you’re out in the city... just saying, it’s adorable)

Prosciutto:

Prosciutto has a chronic case of “caring older brother disease”. Will need to hold himself back from tying your shoelaces for you, the man knows you can do it it yourself but it’s just taking sooo long.

Just like Risotto, you’d have to be a team member to get close to him in any way. Good thing he recruited you ;)

It’s a bit hard to make him open up about anything personal. You feel like he knows everything about you, while you barely know a thing. When he sees your pouty lip and begging gaze that is way too cute to deny, he’ll cave. Perhaps finally realising it’s alright to lean on others.

He’ll still struggle with continuing the openness, but find relief in your loyalty and understanding. The way you intently listen to his troubles, there to hold his hand if he ever needs it, it makes his heart hurt to know how sweet and gentle you are.

Will keep you and Pesci separate during missions, he’s already getting a migraine from imaging everything that could go wrong without his guidance.

For someone who’s a little more on the dense side, you make up for it in emotional intelligence. Whenever you see how stressed he tends to get, eye twitching without even realising while his shoulders hunch together in discomfort, you come over to hug him. It’s something he had to get used to, the small gesture always calming him down enough to keep going.

Does not appreciate you slipping cute trinkets in his suit pocket. Especially not after finding a snail that one time. You’ve been forbidden from leaving pocket gifts since the incident.

Bruno:

It concerns Bruno just how clueless you can be from time to time. That one time they almost left you behind on a busy station with no cellphone because you found a coin on the ground made him realise you need some extra supervision.

He’s not the type to hold you back from doing things that are guaranteed to result in disaster (unless it’s literally deadly), he wants you to experience the consequences of your own actions.

You do make him hold back his laughter when you try out a stupid idea you know has failed in the past, but change your methods slightly to hope for better results. And you know what? Now he’s curious too.

The man has a weird sense of humour that sometimes even surprises you. He’ll copy your habit of picking up strange trinkets or rocks and asks you to compare findings with him. Like trading marbles, he’ll barter with a smirk.

“Mhh, if you give me that cute shell and that pointy rock... I’ll give you this keychain.” His alluring offer making you question if you’re getting swindled or not. “Hey! That shell is at least worth two stickers!” He’ll heartily laugh at your reply, a mischievous smile while thinking over the trade. “Ok, two stickers and a pebble then.”

With a firm handshake the deal goes through. The rest of the gang never knows how to respond, staring in amazement as their grown-ass capo barters with their grown-ass teammate. He loves being silly with you and forgetting all the pressures of life for just a moment.

Bruno takes his time opening up to you, but finds your presence so comforting it becomes very easy to trust you. As a vital part of his team he finds it important to be able to lean on each other for support and is glad you offer him just as much trust and loyalty.

Abbacchio:

Will never admit he can’t live without you anymore. You’ve become the shining beacon of assumed happiness the man never thought existed. He knows you won’t always be go-lucky and have your own troubles and struggles but admires how you handle them.

Don’t get me wrong, he’ll still gladly tease you for your occasional (well, more like frequent) stupidity. He’ll let you know with a big huff you should smarten up; “Read a book that doesn’t have pictures in it for once.”

He’ll be the first to correct any wrong info you’ve been given, unless he thinks it’s funny. Like when Mista made you believe you needed to order dessert at Libeccio or they’ll kick you out for breaking their beloved rule. It’s only when he saw the panic in your eyes when you finished your main course one day -too full for any sweets to come- that he assured you it was a dumb joke. (he’ll put all the blame on Mista)

Abbacchio seems to tether to people who have a positive influence on him without even realising, it won’t be obvious to him, but just like with his loyalty and admiration for Bruno, he’ll make sure you know it once he finds out.

Not that it’s a bad thing, his need to cling to anything that might help him stay afloat just needs to stay healthy. You didn’t even realise your effect on him, you were too busy trying to figure out a way to turn that scowl into that smirk.

After gifting him a handmade friendship bracelet that had the shortened versions of your names spelled on it, he hugged you. So tightly it was suffocating, you were shocked since he’s never been the touchy type. “Leone! I can’t breathe...” He’ll let go after the complaint but that look on his face will never leave your memory. The face of being loved unconditionally by choice, no matter how unworthy he might think himself of it.

[isolaradiale]

"Yeah, well, I can do it by myself," mumbles the young woman who, busying herself at her desk, also takes the time to imitate her superiors under her breath. Mentions of 'the results could be dangerous if you get it wrong' are said to herself in the lone room, the tone one of full on mockery as Capella continues to type away at her brightly coloured keyboard. Despite her angry clacking at the keys, the various stickers attached to the tops of her fingers and knuckles remain in tact.

"Just because I like to spruce things up doesn't mean I'm an idiot--" continuing her rant, it seems that the AI's voice from the computer chanting 'WARNING' over and over again go unheard by the young woman. 

"I'll show them--"

'WARNING. COMBINATION CRITICAL. CONTINUE?'

"Yes! Stop interrupting me now!" yelling quite suddenly, Capella soon stops her venting and stares wide-eyed at the screen. Silence governs the office area for a few moments... Before a smile begins to creep onto her face.

"Oh, well. Would you look at that? A brand new anomaly... One no one has been able to do before! Hehe..."

☆               ★                ☆

Snowfall.

Nothing new about that. The citizens of Spirale would surely look upon the falling snowflakes with little concern, finding it to be the season where such a thing would happen (on an island, somehow). As the evening orange soon sets into a dark grey and eventually, black, the snow continues to fall slowly but surely from the sky. A few citizens might have noticed that something about the snowflakes seemed... A bit different but without having a closer look, nothing could really be detected and thus, onward into their homes did the citizens go for the night, hoping to get a good night's rest.

☆               ★                ☆

Upon waking the next day, however, the citizens would find sheets of ice layered on the ground, houses and any object outside. Funny; no rain had been heard to freeze over, as far as everyone was concerned... But not a big deal, right? Setting out for the day, the citizens go about their business as usual. Though... The ice itself ends up catching the attention of many. It looked like ice but at the same time, it was far too sparkly to be so; far too bright and almost crystalized. If one were to touch it, they, too, would find that it's not particularly cold to the touch like ice normally would be.

Not only that, but it's not... Slippery. Walking on it causes no slips or falls but the odd, uneven texture is apparent through the soles of everyone's feet and shoes. It takes a little bit but eventually, people begin to understand just what this strange 'ice' is, soon realizing it's not 'ice' at all.

The sheets of 'ice' are actually sheets of diamond.

The citizens can notice it now; how the odd snowflakes falling seem to be different and now, they are able to place exactly why. Some try to run back into their houses, hoping to avoid the oncoming ordeal-- only to find that they can't open their doors. The sheets of 'ice' have now become layered over certain areas and in this case, their own housing. Try as they might, there is no way to crack open the layers of diamond to get back inside. Again and again and again do some citizens try to destroy some of the sheets of diamond covering areas and places they need to get to, however, nothing works.

Because nothing is strong enough to cut through a diamond, after all.

☆               ★                ☆

So, what's happened?

Odd snowflakes have started to covered the isle of Spirale, coating some areas in a special sort of 'ice'... However, it's not ice at all; upon closer inspection, you'll see that it's actually sheets of diamonds covering the ground and various other things! No matter how hard you try, these special areas of 'ice' won't break. Even worse, as the 'snow' continues to fall every so often, certain locations and areas of Spirale begin to get closed off.

Wait, what?

Yeah! You know how yesterday you could get into your house and it started to 'snow' when you left this morning? Well, now there's a layer of 'ice' over it and you can't get back in! That sort of stinks, huh? Unfortunately, the 'snowfalls' are randomized so it's not really known when the special diamond flakes will strike next. 

Will the 'snowflakes' and diamond 'ice' affect things other than the environment?

Yes! Long story short, they will also begin to affect the local monsters within the the outer areas of Spirale, such as the Mistwood. Rumour has it that even new creatures resembling diamondized, giant yetis are sprouting from large deposits of the diamondized 'ice', creating even more danger for those who decide to venture outside of the main wards where it's arguably more 'safe'. The ‘ice’ will also accumulate on objects left outside, too, so make sure you know where your weapons and tools are at all times! Unless you want them covered in diamonds, that is...

Will the diamond 'ice' affect my character?

Nope! You're not under the threat of being turned into a diamond person... But you're still in danger from being stranded out in the cold and being attacked by diamondized monsters. Heck, you're also probably in danger of someone else brandishing broken pieces of diamonds and using them as weapons! That also kind of stinks, huh?

Is there any way to break down the diamonds and the diamondized creatures?

As hinted above, yes! If you are able to find already broken pieces from larger diamond deposits (caused by other diamonds themselves falling onto each other), you are able to use those as weapons as you so choose. After all, the only thing strong enough to cut a diamond is another diamond!

My muse slept in when the first snowfall started; are they trapped?!

Essentially you can have the 'snowfalls' affect your housing (or a designated area) after they woke up and came back home. Or maybe they're just trapped inside there until someone else can break them out with the aforementioned, makeshift weapons? That's up to you!

Well, my muse can phase through things and/or teleport; they’re fine, right?

Yes and no! The diamonds are unable to be phased through so no matter how hard you try, it’s just going to look like you’re angry at the diamond deposits. As for teleportation, well... It only works if the place you are teleporting to isn’t completely incased in diamond.

For example; someone’s house is completely covered. In that instance, you cannot teleport inside of the house. However, the library is only half covered and thus, you would be able to teleport to the side that has not been covered as of yet. Think of the diamonds as a sort of neutralizing agent when it comes to abilities!

Do drabbles count?

Yes! However, they must involve your character interacting with something related to the event (whether it be any of the ‘ice’ or the monsters or both) and not simply an in-character reflection or commentary on what’s going on. Drabbles must also be a minimum of 500 words in order to count as event participation.

I have another question!

If you have a general question that wasn’t answered here, or if you have a question about your specific muse or a specific ability in mind, please feel free to send in a message to the masterlist and we’ll answer it as soon as possible!

How long will this event run for?

The event will run until February 5th February 7th at 11:59:59pm!

[siren-virus]

You know what? Just because you’d be able to talk my ears off with LuckyBoy!AU, I’m gonna keep asking you about it with long asks so I can get long answers (I love reading long answers since they give out so much info and speculation, while leaving room for discussion as well). So let's have a chat through asks so neither of us have anxiety(?) while talking to each other in messages.

Who would be some of the regulars when Ben is working at the cooffe shop? (I also love this au XD) Would Cooper, Rook, Gwen, Max and/or anyone else go at the same time as a group and have a casual conversation with the barista? Would Ben accidently gain confidential information about the Plumbers this way? I wonder if he would be famous between the aliens and humans near Undertown as one of the few humans that's actually chill with every alien regardless of appearances thanks to knowing Gwen with the Omnitrix from before?

I feel like Ben purposefully avoiding Cooper as his vigilante persona would start as a measure to avoid his identity being exposed (I belive it was Cooper who exposed him in UAF, right?), but later would develop into a troll play, waiting for him to finally find him and play a prank there.

Would Ben play pranks on Will Harangue for giving him bad publicity to the humans? I mean, it's not like he can just appear in front of a camera and tell his side of the story, he would be captured instantly, or interrupted at the very least; and he having his own social media wouldn't work too well since he isn't a tech genius and the Plumbers could track him down.

Also, what has Gwen done that they think they need Ben to protect them from her? Like yeah, in OV there's a lot of property damage, but they don't believe they need protection from him (at least I don't think so), so she must've done something big in order for that to happen.

And now an ask that isn't directly related to Ben XD Who would be some of the people leading an investigation against the vigilante, trying to discover his identity as well as species? Like I imagine Rook would be more of an addon to said investigation, being on the lookout but not actively investigating everything that Ben has been involved with, and Gwen has a lot on her plate, so let's not let her join said investigation.

Oh oh oh, I just thought about it, if Ben could be considered an Anodite in this AU, what happened when Verdona appeared in that one episode of AF? Did she manage to find Ben in the first place and almost but not quite take him away? Does the rest of the family know he's an Anodite and what are their thoughts about it? If they don't then how would Ben explain some of the magic things that he does and someone witness?

Ohohoh, buttering me up are ya? Well you're in for a brain dump.

Ok, first I gotta say: The alien cafe is separate to the plumbers (the plumbers have their on cafeteria, but like to indulge in other food sometimes, and non-instant coffee.)

So I was thinking, one of Ben's regular coworkers is Alan Albright. Reason for this is because Alan is not allowed to go on missions often. He's too young. I mean I know they definitely have child soldiers in OS- buuuut Max's influence has put a stop to that. He's seen how it affected Gwen. So, Alan is put on easy patrols in low crime area, in the city.

Alan, however wants in on the action, so Max had suggested the cafe. Ben and Alan have a very brotherly bond, and Ben (outside of his vigilante life) has been swaying Alan's opinion on both, the plumbers and his alter ego.

Manny, Alan, Helen and Cooper- When not busying himself with the tech lounge- (sorry, Pierce is still dead in this), will often come by the cafe, they sit in a booth and discuss things. Most occasions Ben is invited to sit with them.

When Gwen pops by their interactions are brief, Ben would try to tease her about anything and everything under the sun. "See Kevin lately?" "Oh, got beat by the walking glow stick again, huh?" "Geez, another jail break? 3rd time this week!"

Normally he gets a fiery reaction and a nasty retort.

Of course Ben would take every opportunity he can to get info. At first it wasn't intentional, he'd just eaves drop on a few conversations that interested him. As time goes by though, he's found that a lot of people, plumber, criminal and just outer space travelers, are more than happy to unload some gossip. Ben is very much delighted by that.

He's not exactly famous, he's well known for being a friendly person, yes. But not all throughout Undertown.

ain't cooper the blond dude with some kinda telekenetic power that ended up turning into an almost Kevin duplicate? (i'll fix that) NGL I forgot he grew up in UAF.

Pretty sure the one that exposed Ben was the nerd who was voiced by the VA of Robin (TeenTitans/Go). Now that you bring it up though, that guy... Jimmy, is someone to be avoided, cause he's a snoopy guy. Who also hangs out at the cafe a lot to get details. Always ends up harassing Ben cause he knows Ben has all the juicy gossip.

And yeah Ben would totally take advantage of it to mess with the poor kid.

Definitely. Ben would mess with Will Harangue as much as possible. Especially when he goes live. Ben won't confront him personally, or do anything that could possibly reveal his indentity. He's got a lot of unique mannerisms that his family could quickly pick up on, there's also his voice, although muffled by the mask, if it's recorded enough- it's another identifier.

So that leaves Ben with his sticker trail. They're very bright, almost blinding, so Ben's stickers are an annoying inconvenience. He could also use a weak spell that causes it's victims to yawn/sneeze. Maybe he'll hang in the background briefly and wave. Just some of things he does to get under Harangue's skin basically.

Gwen:

So, you picked up on what I've hinted at. Good.

Before I go into Gwen, I'll say this: The plumbers are stationed on Earth to protect humanity. That means the aliens who have immigrated are less of a priority. That doesn't mean that they're completely unsafe, the plumbers still patrol Undertown and look after the people- just less so.

Aliens that leave Undertown especially- Normally they're ushered back by a few Plumbers standing guard- those that pose a threat or seem to pose a threat are dealt with by the plumbers. Which isn't too bad, just a slap on the back, a fine, maybe jail time.

Unless you run into Gwen. Who is much more intimidating, much more brutish, she won't exactly hold back. So- she hasn't got the best rep with Undertown. She's still a hero. Known throughout the universe. Just not a kind one.

On several occassions, Ben(vigilante) has had to step in to get her to back down from dealing with criminals.

The plumbers don't have a lot to go on with the investigating. Ben doesn't leave any DNA trails, cause anodites have no DNA. No hair strands, no finger prints, no blood. Even his stickers. They got nothing, nada.

That doesn't mean it's completely hopeless. A clean hit to Ben has on more than one occasion shocked him out of his anodite form, reverting him back to human (which is why he has the glasses and face mask, as a just incase scenario.) Sometimes even spooking/shocking him can make him human again. If his focus is messed with he's human, kinda deal.

So the plumbers are aware of this. They do their best to be as violent and destructive when they see Ben. They're attempts usually fail unless they have someone competent enough with them, Ie; Gwen, Rook.

Villains are also aware of this. So risky buiz am I right?

In regards to Verdona; honestly, I feel like having her know about Ben's existence as an anodite would kinda nerf this whole thing completely. Verdona, I bet, would be a massive gossip. Although her contact with Max is limited, he'd hear about it eventually. Game over. There's also Sunny, who would take advantage of this information and spread it across the universe.

So instead maybe Verdona pays a visit later rather than now.

She'd also be less inclined to take Ben back home, I like how Verdona is indifferent to Ben but loves Gwen, I wanna keep that aspect.

To explain any magic happenings that his family or friends have spotted, he just says he's practicing to be an illusionist. Or he broke a glow stick, or his has glitter in his pocket. (He always has something retaining to magenta hidden up his sleeve.)

Hopefully that got all your questions answered for now!

[ssatoritendou]

Birthday Gift

Pairing: tachihara/reader

Michizo Tachihara  

Word count: 1.6k

+ summary: it is Tachihara’s birthday the members of the port mafia take him out for drinks. He decides to go home early and catch up on work. Mori tells him to check up on Elise and her babysitter, you who is also Mori’s apprentice and Michizo’s crush.

Genre: fluffy lovey-dovey

Warning: 18+ suggestive themes

“Happy 20th Birthday Tachihara. Order as many drinks you want.” Gramps said.

“Haha, sure thing.” He grinned. Tachihara downed 4 shots of whatever liquor that was on the table that Chuuya put out for him.

“Looks like our little Tachihara has been preparing for this day for a while.” Chuuya laughed. This was going to be an interesting birthday.

“I think I’m going to go home,” Tachihara said only having a few glasses of beer and hard liquor. He knew his limit but everybody else stayed to get plastered. He was about to walk back to base before Mori stopped him.

“When you *hiccup* get home check on my dear Elise for me and little ____ too.”

“____ is there this late?”

“Elise can’t sleep without her. She had been staying with us while the storms are here.” He said.

He swallowed hard. “Yeah, of course, I’ll check in on both of them.”

He hated to admit it but he had a little crush on Elise’s babysitter. But you weren’t just a babysitter you were Mori’s apprentice. Practically like a daughter to his boss. Now you weren’t just an apprentice in the mafia no you were trying to become a doctor. And you wanted to learn from the doctor himself.

Tachihara recently started staying in his office in Headquarters. Mori recently put him in charge of the armory. That was a lot of paperwork and inventory every day. He would sometimes let that paperwork build up. This was one of those nights he knew if he waited another night he would end up behind. Normally he wouldn’t care but Mori had put a lot of faith and trust into him with the armory control.

But before he could get to his paperwork he needed to check on you and Elise.

“____ I’m not tired,” Elise whined to you.

“Elise I understand but I’m tired.” You whined back. She was behind just finishing your side braid.

“They're all done.” She said happily.

“Good now, will you go to bed?” Before she could answer there was a knock on the door. You knew if it was Mori he would just burst in. “Elise hide.” You reached for a gun that Mori hid in her room just in case. You pulled the gun from behind the nightstand. She nodded and went to go hide.

“Come in.” You said you aimed the gun at the door.

“Hey, Mori just wanted me-”

Bang! You shot the gun.

“____ what the fuck was that for!” Tachihara yelled. He clutched the side of his arm.

“Tachihara I’m sorry. I thought you were an intruder.” You moved his hand and saw that it sliced through both his jacket and shirt. “Oh thank god.”

“Not to sound rude or anything but how is this a thank god moment?” He said through gritted teeth.

“It’s just a graze you baby.”

“I know you’re welcome.” Then it hit you his ability. He was able to manipulate metal.

“Thank you.” You chuckled nervously. “Elise you can come out now.”

She came out of the closet. “You shot Tachihara!” She shouted.

“Yes, Elise. Go to bed I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She was about to make a fuss but then looked at Tachihara who was gazing at your figure.

“No need. I can sleep without you. Just stay with Tachihara tonight.”

“What?” You said embarrassed and shocked but before you could correct her she was pushing the both of you out of her room and locking it from behind. “I’ll just crawl into bed with her later. I have a key.” You said blushing.

“Can you remove your jacket and shirt?” You said. “And where’s your secret liquor stash? And not the good stuff.”

“Under my pillow.” He said taking off the top half of his clothing. “Should I sit at my desk?”

“Yes.” You had the first aid kit ready to go. He was sitting patiently at the desk.

Technically Tachihara could do this himself. But he knew that you were working hard with Mori.

He watched you set up what you were going to do. You pulled out the disinfectant wipe, a big bandage, and some gauze.

“Now I must warn you this will sting a little.”

“Oh please I’m not a baby-” He winced at the strong stinging of the disinfect you wiped with the pressure you applied. “You didn't have to go so hard.”

“Well, that is so you make sure it’s clean.” You said through gritted teeth, you quickly applied the bandaged and the gauze. “They're all done, you big baby. Now I would usually give my patients lollipops or stickers whatever Elise is feeling. But since it’s your birthday let’s do a birthday shot.” You said with a smile pulling glasses out of his third desk draw and poured the cheap liquor.

“How did you know that the glasses were there?” Tachihara asked.

“Mori has them in all the office 3rd desk draw. I just have a thing for cheap liquor, what I grew up drinking.” You handed him the glass. “Come on.”

He took the shot from you and downed it as you did.

“Thanks again.”

“Of course Tachihara anything for you. I really should be getting back to Elise I don’t want her to get scared and disappoint Mori.”

“Trust me Mori won’t remember the next few hours and Elise said she would be found. You can sleep on my bed I don’t mind. I’m going to be working most of the night and probably sleep on the couch. The bed has never been slept on.”

The bed did look so comfortable. You haven’t been getting a lot of sleep while spending your nights for the past week with Elise.

“Thank you Tachihara.” You went over to the bed and lifted the covers and sunk into the beds cushioning.

“You can call me Michizo.” He went over to his closet and pulled 2 sweatshirts out. He slipped one on himself. “Here you can wear this to bed.”

“Thanks.” You slipped the sweatshirt on.

You fell back down into the soft bed. You were engulfed in his cologne. Even though the bed was barely slept in it still smelt like him. You inhaled deeply and closed your eyes.

Tachihara was an interesting member of the Port Mafia to you at least. Sure he had a temper that leads to his rash decision making. However, he valued orders and his position in the mafia. But those qualities made a great person in combat and a reliable man.

He was the only person around your age that you got to be around with every once in a while. He was kind to you. Which was different than the way he treated others. But you thought maybe it because he didn’t spend a lot of time with you.

He wasn’t a sight for sore eyes. He was quite attractive.

Must have only been a couple of hours of you resting but you shifted a little when you heard a loud sigh from across the room.

You riser from your sleepy state. “Michizo are you alright?”

“Mmm. Oh _____ I’m sorry if I woke you. Just work that is stressing me out.”

“How much paperwork did you finish?” You said getting you from the bed and sauntering over to his desk.

“Almost all of it. I just have a few more files.” He said rubbing his face.

You went behind him and put your hands on his shoulders. This caused Tachihara to drop his pen. You started to massage his shoulders.

“Just come to bed. I’ll help you finish it in the morning.” You said leaning into his ear. “I can’t stand to see you this stressed out Michizo. You need rest, doctors orders.”

He turned his head towards your sleepy face. “Fine Princess.” He let you pull him towards the bed.

“You need to relax more.” You continue to rub his shoulders. He fell back into your soft chest closing his eyes. “You get so stressed out from your work. Being a leader of the black lizard and control the armory now.”

“Ugh ___.” He moaned. He caught himself pulling away from your massage and holding your hands. “You are a little minx.” He leaned into your face placing a rough kiss on you.

He pulled away to gauge your reaction. “W-What was that for?” You asked shying away with a pink tint on your cheeks.

He smirked. “Just a birthday present for myself. Unless you liked it, Princess?” He asked tilting your head towards him again. “If you want another one you are going to have to tell me you liked it. If you didn’t I’ll back off.”

You shit your eyes. “I liked it. I liked it a lot, Michizo.”

“Good girl.” He leaned toward this time being slightly gentle. He only got a little more forceful with the kisses when his tongue entered your mouth. You return everyone of his kisses. Soon turning sloppy and salvia almost dripping down your chin.

He only stop when you began to whine. “We are going to have to stop for tonight Princess. I wouldn’t be able to control myself. And my doctor did say to get some rest.” He said with a smirk. He pressed a kiss to your forehead. He turned you around to spoon you. “Remember that you promised to help me in the morning ___.”

“Of course Michizo.”

He hummed to your agreeing tone.

“Happy birthday my love you said rubbing his hand across your torso.

“Goodnight my love.” He grumbled into your neck.

[apenapaperandadoofus]

(not angst here, sorry) So, Jumin said he had a imaginary friend at 7 (this maybe this is a joke), but what if it was real? What if it was at the island he was sent alone at 6? And what if it wasn't imaginary? But a kid that it wasn't supposed to be there (because their mother worked there) and what if it was a girl? And Jumin meets her again there??

AH ANON THATS ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT

Also might make it a series?? Oooo thank you for the idea nonny!

And I added some music too. I dunno why but you can listen to it while you read it tho!

Imaginary Friend: (Jumin x Fem!MC) Part 1

Song:

You looked at the huge mansion in front of you. You had never seen a house as big as this one, and you always wondered if the people there sometimes got lost on the way to the bathroom, or the kitchen.

You imagined the way the house must’ve looked. Did it have a library? It probably did, with so many books that you might never be able to finish, no matter if you spent your whole life there. Was there a pool? Maybe a garden? You wondered what it looked like. You had seen that in some rich people’s homes the gardens all had funny bushes in shape of animals, or people. You thought it was kind of dumb, really, to have a bush shaped as an elephant, but you also really wanted to see one for some reason. It was silly, really. You wondered what it must be like, living in that huge house. Was the person living there lonely? Did they like it, or where they sad about it?

Walking in those cold halls at night, no one around to say goodnight, to tuck you away or give you a goodnight kiss.

It felt...sad.

As you wondered what the person living there must be like, you suddenly felt a cold hand tightly grab your arm, and you quickly looked to the side.

Your mother glared at you through her glasses, a stern look on her face. “Did you hear what I said, Y/N?”

You didn’t. But you didn’t really want to tell her that, you didn’t know what she might do. But you gulped and slowly nodded, admitting your crime. I mean the punishment might be worse if she did find out you had been lying.

Your mother let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed her temples in annoyance. She always did that, was always annoyed with everything and everyone. She wasn’t always like that though, you had vague memories of her smiling and dancing with you in your huge living room. That was before...well before everything went to shit.

Michelle was a tutor. She had been a teacher on one of the best private schools before though.. She was a strict woman, with very little patience, and she shed no mercy for her students. It was the same for her daughter. Your mother had become like that when your father, the CEO of a very prestigious company left her for his receptionist, a man named Kyle. You never got why your mother hated him so much, since you remember that whenever you went to visit your father, Kyle would be ready for you with a huge bag of candy, and hey, who would hate someone who always gave you such delicacies?

Still, your mother obviously didn’t care for the candy, and she was filled with an immense rage. That was when she began to change. First she threw every possession of your father in the trash and burned it. Then she promised that she would never marry again, after many failed attempts to get another partner. Your mother became colder after you had to sell your house, and move to South Korea, Seoul with the little money you had left.

There she managed to find plenty of jobs that paid well, money seemed to be the only thing that satisfied her. And so, when she got the chance to teach the son of a billionare owner of one of the most famous companies in Seoul, your mother couldn’t refuse. She was the perfect candidate, she was a smart woman who had many achievements after all. Thus, a week later after that strange phone call she didn’t hestitate when she pulled you out of your school, packed your bags and flew you to an island that you had never heard of before. She of course had to bring you, I mean what else could she have done? She made it abundantly clear though that you were a weight on her shoulders that she hated carrying.

“Y/N!!” Your mother shouted again, and you nervously looked at her. She pushed you away from the huge mansion, instantly pulling you away from your daydreaming of whoever might be living there. “Listen darling, I’ve explained this to you on the plane, but I’ll do it again, since I’m sure it went through one ear and out of the other. You need to follow my every order in here alright? This is a very important opportunity for mommy, and you can’t screw this up.” She glared at you when she said that and you guiltily looked at the ground. She was always afraid you were going to somehow screw up even at the simplest of things. “I will be teaching a boy here. His father hired me to tutor him for a whole year, but we might get more if we’re lucky. When I’m away I’m going to need you to stay in your new room to keep busy, I don’t want you to move from there, alright?”

Hearinf that you excitedly turned around and gave your mother a big smile. “Mum, will we be living in that mansion?! And is there really a boy?! Can I meet him?”

“Absolutely not. We won’t be living there, and you won’t even set a foot on that place. We’ll be living on a place nearby. Look here we are.” Your mother pointed behind you while she said it.

You turned to look and felt your stomach drop as you looked at your new...home.

Having stared at the magnificent mansion and your hopes just going through the roof, what you felt as you looked at the sad little house in front of you was greater than disappointment.

It was awful. You wrinkled your nose as your mother pushed you to keep up with her, as she took out a set of keys and opened the ugly little door.

The home was...actually pretty nice. But not as nice as a mansion. The walls were a very dull white, and the first thing you saw was a boring living room, the a brown leather couch in the middle, with a TV hanging on the wall. Someone had put some paintings to hang on the walls, as if to try and make the place look livelier, but they had clearly failed. You saw that on the two walls of the living room were four sets of doors, two o each wall. While your mother went out to talk to the men behind you carrying your luggage, you decided to go and explore. First you went to the last door on the right, behind the couch, and you opened it to find a big room.

It was the master bedroom, that was probably were your mother was staying. The room was actually quite spacious, with a big king bed in the center of the wall, and a wooden desk on the side. On the corner of the room there was another door, which led to a bathroom that contained a bath tub and, well, the things that bathrooms have. It was nothing special but it did look pretty, like those fancy hotel bathrooms you had seen before on trips with your mom and dad.

You quickly left the room and opened the door beside it. It led to the kitchen. Why did the kitchen have a door? Who the hell knows, you are a 7 year old kid, not an architect, so you couldn’t really answer the question. Still the kitchen wasn’t that bad. It was still the same dull white, like the whole house, but it was pretty. Off to the side was a little room that had a washing machine, and a dryer. Boring.

You left and went to the other side of the living room. Your mother was now standing in the main doorway, screaming at the poor moving staff guys. You felt bad for them, since you knew that your mother would never stop once she started nagging at you, and you decided to quickly run away to avoid her anger. When you opened the door you saw a room. It was still big, but smaller than your mothers. It had a huge window, with sliding doors that led to the backyard...or what you assumed was a backyard, since it was mostly forest. The island was pretty green and had a lot of trees, which you thought would be fun climbing.

As you looked at your new room, you thought of all the changes you had to make. First of all, you’re painting all the damn walls because those things are ugly. You’re also going to place those neon star stickers that shine in the dark, your father gave them to you for one of your birthdays, a whole pack, and you had a few you could use on the roof. You mentally planned where to put all your stuffed animals, and your books, although you didn’t have many and they were all boring.

Your mother didn’t like you reading fantasy books, and while you enjoyed a bit reading about the life of Thomas Eddison, or just something about math or biology, you actually didn’t understand jack shit and wanted to read some nice fantasy books. Your father had given you some before but your mother burned them when the whole Kyle scandal happened. Yeah it sucked.

Once again you walked out of your room and opened the last door, which was obviously a bathroom. Then you quickly went inside to your room once again as your mother finished nagging the moving staff. You weren’t dealing with that shit. So you just decided to go and jump on your bed. It was super comfy and you could jump pretty high though you stopped once your mother opened your door and shouted at you to get your ass down from there, dragging a bunch of your boxes into your room and telling you to start unpacking.

That was the most boring evening of your life. You wanted to explore! To see if there was anyone in that mansion! And you also wanted to try and find that boy your mother was talking about. But you couldn’t do any of that, since the next day you had to help unpack more boxes. And then more. And more. Why were there so many boxes?!

Still, finally that hell was over. For you at least. You had your room all in order, your toys off in one side, some books piled on your desk, and the stars on the walls (you weren’t able to reach the ceiling and your mother was in a horrible mood, so you couldn’t really ask her -unless you wanted to die of course.-)

You sat on the couch while your mother unboxed loads of teaching materials, books and everything else. You both stayed quiet until you looked out the window and then back at your mother.

“Mum, I want to visit the boy you’re going to teach. Can you teach us together?” You asked. Your mother didn’t look at you as she replied. “Don’t be silly, of course not. And this boy is learning more advanced things, I’m not sure you’ll be able to catch up.”

You crossed your arms and angrily glared at the floor. Then you looked back up at your mom. “Can I at least go say hi?”

Your mother rolled her eyes, and replied once again without looking at you. “He’s not here yet. He’s coming in two days. And you aren’t permitted to go outside of the house, you’ll be staying here the whole time. I’ll leave some work for you to do so you can keep busy.”

“But-”

“Enough. Now why don’t you go to your room and play a bit? You’re giving mommy a headache.”

You went to your room, sulking of course, as you made up snarky comments you could’ve used on your mum in your mind. Of course you were never going to say them, but it was a nice way to let off some steam. And so, that night you went to bed, still angrily cursing your mother.

.

.

.

.

Your mom didn’t let you leave your home for a whole week. You didn’t realize that much time had gone by, but when you checked your little calendar hanging on your door, you realized; the boy your mother is teaching must be here already!!! She had started leaving the house everyday, but you never paid that much attention to it. So that day, at 12pm in the afternoon, you finally decided that you were going to explore the place (and find out where the boy your mother talked about lived! -You were suspecting it was the huge mansion you saw back there-)

You put on your coat and your favorite sneakers, quickly left your room, and then popped your head out of the doorway to check that no one was around. Your mother always came home at about 4-5pm, so you had plenty of time. You also had a pretty watch that you had gotten when you turned 6, and you decided to finally use it for what it was meant for (and to not use it just as an accessory because it looked cool.)

When you made sure the coast was clear, you walked down the little path leading to who knows where. But you couldn’t help but walk with a little bounce on your step, excited at what might turn out to be at the end of the path. After walking for a while, looking at insects and picking up pretty flowers you saw on the way a sign. Then farther along there was another house. And then you walked more and there was another one. And then another one. The deeper you went, the more houses appeared and soon you found yourself in a little town of some sorts!

There were more people than you expected, and as you walked you saw that on what appeared to be on the center of the town, there was this huge market!

People there were selling all kinds of fruit, food and dishes, some you didn’t recognize, and some other people were selling flowers, jewelry and clothes. You slowly walked looking at every single thing that the people were selling. The food smelled absolutely delicious, and you loved the patterns of all the clothes.

Then you suddenly bumped into someone.

It was a lady, who appeared to be in her late thirties. You didn’t know this cuz you were a child of course, and kids can’t really guess an adults age. Still, she turned around and was about to shout something at you, when she stopped and then looked down, finally seeing you.

You gave her an apologetic smile, and the woman looked confused for a second before she knelt in front of you and stared at you.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. She sounded a bit mad, but there was a hint of concern there. You gave her the biggest and sweetest smile you could manage, and answered, “I’m exploring of course! I followed the path and I suddenly came here!”

“Is your...guardian anywhere around here? Or did you come alone?” She looked around for someone, anyone who was maybe looking for a lost child. But there was no one.

“Oh you mean mum? She’s somewhere around here. You see, she’s teaching a boy, that lives in that huge mansion!” You pointed where you supposed the mansion was, and the woman raised an eyebrow.

“In the mansion? I don’t think anyone lives there. So is she a teacher? Maybe she could be around here...I’ll help you look for her.”

“No!” You quickly shouted, but then you became still and tried to compose yourself. “Uhm, my mommy...she doesn’t really know I’m here. But you have to promise not to tell! If she finds out she’s going to kill me!”

That didn’t seem to help. But before the woman could answer a hand placed itself on her shoulder, and you looked up at the new person.

It was another lady, and although she seemed to be the same age as the other woman, she appeared younger in a way, more kind and soft.

“Bada, who is this little lady we have here? Don’t tell me you’re going to kidnap her and lock her in with all those other children you’re meaning to cook.”

The woman named Bada glared at the other one, and you immediately felt a chill run down your spine.

Fuck that shit you’re leaving. You quickly turned around but the other lady quickly grabbed you and laughed, a nice bubbly laugh. Your fear of being eaten was even forgotten for a second because the laugh was so contagious.

“I kid, I kid. Bada wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I could you know-”

“And who might you be? Are you lost?” She said, ignoring the other lady.

You quickly shook your head and explained that you were exploring. At that the woman laughed and Bada once again glared at her.

“It’s nothing to laugh about! Her mother must be worried sick. You can’t just run off like that, you know?” She said.

“Ah Bada! Let her have fun, you were once her age too, and you were more adventurous than her....don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. Let the kid explore for a bit, it’s nothing harmful.” Then she turned to you. “And what might your name be little explorer?”

You smiled. “It’s Y/N! Nice to meet you!”

She smiled back. “Nice to meet you too Y/N, I’m Eun Jung, you can just call me Eun if you want!”

You had always been warned by your mother about ‘stranger danger’ and that you should of course, never talk with someone you don’t know. But these women seemed different. They gave off an aura that...that seemed to tell you they wouldn’t do anything to you.

As you explained to Eun about the bugs and flowers you had seen along the way, you were interrupted by your stomach growling.

Eun laughed and asked if you wanted to come and eat, and well, FOOD, who would deny?

Bada and Eun lived together in a small little house, decorated with all sort of stuff, paintings and flowers. It looked way better than your dull new home. Bada cooked while Eun made you some tea, and you explained why you were living in the island.

“My mum is teaching the boy that lives in that big mansion!” You told her.

Eun laughed and looked at you quizzically. “Are you sure? Last time I checked, no one has lived there for more than 40 years. Maybe your mother is teaching somewhere else.”

“Mmm...but the mansion didn’t look that old! Are you sure there’s no one living there?”

“Of course there isn’t.” Bada chipped in, as she walked in from the kitchen into the living room. Your mouth watered as she placed the food on the little round table in front of you, and you almost immediately forgot about what you were talking about. Bada had made some Kimchi, a food you hadn’t really tried before. You had moved from the UK barely a year ago, and your mother and you never went out to eat, so you never really tried any of the Korean dishes.

You took a bite and let out a satisfied sigh. Then you looked up at Bada and remembered what you were talking about. “Whaddya mwean of cwourse there isn’t? Mhm, there has to be someone right?” You finished saying, while Bada glared at you, probably for speaking while eating.

“If you keep doing that a whale will come out of your mouth.” Eun said. You looked at her in surprise and then shut your mouth. You didn’t know if it was true but you didn’t want to risk it.

“Well, if there was anyone living there, I’d say it was a ghost. That’s the only explanation. And it makes sense, since people say the house is haunted.” Bada finished saying, and Eun rolled her eyes, a smile on her face.

“There are no such things as ghost. Don’t mind her, she’s just so obsessed with that stuff. You have to see the amount of books she has about the matter.”

“You never know, they might be real, and if they are, I’ll at least be prepared.” She glared back and Eun smiled more. She seemed to really like to tease Bada, and you thought it was hilarious. But you had to push that aside to ask for the most important things.

1st, There’s ghosts in the mansion?

And 2nd, Bada has books about ghosts? That’s still way better than the stupid math books your mother is making you read.

Bada replied that yes, there are 100% ghosts in there, and that she had plenty of books about the matter. When you asked if you could borrow one it took a bit of convincing, mostly from Eun to get her to agree.

You left their home at 3pm, your tummy full and a bunch of books in your arms (there were some other fantasy ones Eun had given you), with both ladies telling you to come again.

You happily made your way back to your home, skipping all the way, and you stopped when you passed by the mansion. Even though it was early afternoon, the place seemed dark and gloomy. You shuddered as you looked at it.

You were about to leave, when you saw something...or rather someone by the window...

You immediately turned around and ran to your home. Nope. Not dealing with that today. You had eaten too much and you were tired, the ghosts will have to wait until tomorrow.

You locked the front door and went to your bedroom, grabbing your biggest plushie (a big lion your father bought you when you were 3) and hid under the covers until you heard the front door open.

You hid the books and walked out, to greet your mother, but she held a hand up before you could speak and set her belongings on the couch. “Not now Y/N. Mommy’s tired. Did you eat the food in the fridge?”

You nodded.

“Did you eat it all?”

You shook your head.

“Then mommy’s going to bed and you can eat what’s left ok? Don’t come and bother me, I’m too tired.”

And with that, she left the living room and went to her room, locking the door behind her.

You stood in silence for a bit before going to the kitchen and eating what was left from what your mother had made you.

Honestly you hadn’t eaten anything, since you had dinner and Bada’s and your mother was a terrible cook, but now you were hungry again and it was what was left, so you couldn’t do anything about it.

That night you ate in your room and stared out at the window. And then you realized...if you went out into the little porch your room had, and you looked a bit to the side, you could see a part of the mansion. You couldn’t really see clearly since all the lights were off, but that wasn’t stopping you from snooping.

Were there really ghosts there? Were they nice, or were they like the ones in those horror movies your friends talked about?

The book that Bada gave you didn’t seem to help though, since your fear only became bigger and bigger the more you read. It said that ghosts could possess people, make them do things they didn’t want to. Also if the ghost was there because it couldn’t move on, be it for anger or revenge, it might kill you.

That didn’t sound good at all. You shuddered as you closed the book and turned off your torch, finally getting ready for bed.

But then you saw it again. A figure on the window.

You stood staring at it, you don’t know for how long, but then it disappeared and you quickly ran off into your bedroom, locking the door and quickly bidding under your covers, turning the torch on again.

You didn’t know what the ghost wanted. You didn’t know if it was nice or not. You were honestly really scared. But still...a part deep inside of you was filled with curiosity. You wanted to see the ghost. You actually...wanted to meet it.

And so, you made up your mind. Tomorrow, you were going to sneak into the mansion and try to find the ghost. It would be your next adventure.

Your smile in victory as you imagined what would happened once you found the ghost. You would take your camera and take a picture of it, then you’d come and show it to Eun and Bada, and then your mother. You knew if you sold this picture you could probably make thousands, millions of dollars. People paid really well for ghost pictures. Hell, they might even make a movie of you experience! You could become famous, and your mother would be finally satisfied, having enough money to keep her happy.

You went to sleep with those sweet fantasies in the back of your mind.

Tomorrow, no matter what, you were going to capture that ghost.

[hetacon]

Thoughts on Virgil’s Anxiety and the Balance Between Roman and Virgil in “Flirting with Social Anxiety”

I thought this asides episode was honestly really interesting and wanted to share some thoughts on what I noticed. It’s quite long so I’ll put it under the cut along with a TL;DR. But regardless, buckle up and let’s get started!

I ended up watching the episode twice before deciding to make this and there were certain things that I noticed that really stuck out as interesting to me.

Virgil obviously represents anxiety, a force that can be both constructive and destructive as has been discussed in the series before. “Accepting Anxiety” really gave us a lot of insight on the relationship between Virgil and Roman and I think it’s important to bring it up in relation to this one. Up until that point in the series, Roman was fairly antagonistic towards Virgil. There would be some moments where he’d mean it in more of a tolerable way and he would be able to see some of the things that Virgil could bring to the table but by no means was he necessarily on very good terms with Virgil.

When Virgil ducked out, Roman’s original intentions in going were for Thomas’ sake and he didn’t even really want to in the first place. He thinks that they would be better off if Thomas wasn’t afraid of anything and it would be easier for Roman to go after what he wants and aspires for. Ultimately though, he sees that Virgil not being there was causing more harm than good and goes along in order to figure out the situation.

Virgil finds himself somewhat convinced to come back and appreciates Thomas approving of him more but still isn’t entirely convinced. Patton and even Logan have seen eye-to-eye with him on issues and have more or less tolerated him being there. It wasn’t much of a stretch for them to say that they needed him around. But then Roman tells him that Virgil’s makes them better.

Roman’s speech accentuates that while he and Virgil aren’t on the best of terms, Roman’s seen firsthand that Virgil is capable of working as a team, as part of a unit in order to achieve their goals as they move forward. Hearing Roman say that they need him and that his contributions matter is what convinces Virgil to come back. Not only does he have Patton, Logan, and now Thomas backing him, but also Roman, the one side who has been the most difficult and confrontational with him.

With this discussion of letting Virgil have more of a voice, a presence in the discussion, Virgil doesn’t use this in order to go harder on his points but actually eases up. He expresses his concerns where needed and it is received with a noticeable change. The others are receptive and interacting more with his ideas and Thomas hears him out on what he has to say. Virgil having more freedom to voice his concerns relieves him of facing to yell over the noise just to be heard. He knows he will be heard. All he has to do is let them know and they will take it seriously.

In relation to this episode, Virgil’s anxieties actually seemed a little more open and complex. He isn’t shutting down the ideas that Roman is coming up with, he goes along with what Roman wants to do. All Virgil really does is voice concerns in how they go about it.

When Roman brings up that they won’t exactly know if Nico is gay or not unless Thomas talks to him, Virgil is against it. However, as soon as he sees the stickers on Nico’s laptop, he voices that, letting Thomas and Roman know there’s a possible way to approach the issue without worrying him too much. Both of them listen to Virgil and take it.

When there are no clues on the stickers, Roman again suggests that Thomas talks to him. Virgil still doesn’t feel comfortable with that and then notices the pins on Nico’s backpack. Again, he brings it up in relation to the stickers and Roman actually claps, getting excited about them having “more clues.”

Virgil is helping to provide alternative solutions to the dilemmas that are coming up while voicing concerns. He isn’t controlling the conversation, he’s providing input and slight critique in line with Roman’s wishes, helping to work together but also provide a necessary counter.

One of the points that really furthered the fact that Virgil is working in tandem with Roman’s wants rather than trying to shut it down is that he says he’s been apprehensive of talking to Nico without a plan. It was never about avoiding talking to him, it was about doing so before thinking out how Thomas should do so. He knows Roman’s ambitions are strong and sometimes all consuming and so he wants to limit the amount of unknown variables as well as the anxiety as much as possible to prevent the three of them from getting hurt by the outcome. It never was about shooting down the idea, it was about thinking it through, something Roman doesn’t commonly do, though it is a fairly minor fault.

Eventually, Roman and Virgil acknowledge that their efforts aren’t working. Virgil starts to panic as Nico catches up to Thomas and it gets worse as Nico walks away. Roman comments on how they’ve squandered another opportunity and another chance of happiness. Virgil, within a split second, decides that he can’t passively allow this to happen and takes action, pushing Thomas forward despite his worst fears. Despite his own discomfort, he is unwilling to ignore that Roman’s wants are valid and should be listened to and he takes drastic action in order to give Roman a much needed chance.

Virgil and Roman’s relationship as well as the way Virgil reacts to his own fears has changed drastically over the course of the series and Virgil has made a lot of growth. While Virgil and Roman had an unfortunate start, they’ve managed to reconcile and are now more capable of working together effectively. Roman is still idealistic in his pursuits but Virgil provides a necessary caution. Vice versa, Virgil’s fears are balanced out by the hope that Roman holds for any situation. The line in which Roman says that they don’t know if Nico is not gay is honestly a really crucial idea that I support. It can go either one of two ways in the broadest of senses but assuming the worst should also be balanced out by assuming the best. Considering both options is important and both Roman and Virgil provide a necessary balance to each other’s opinions and actions.

TL;DR: Virgil now works towards influencing how Thomas and the sides go about things they’d like to do rather than if they should do them or not. Roman and Virgil have learned to work together and balance out each other’s faults.

[honeypwark]

[ Pretty Girl ]

  ↳ Run Away era

       ↳ Kiryoung goes rock climbing... for some reason. She meets a new face. They get lunch.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Kiryoung has no idea what she’s doing here. That’s not entirely true, though. It started with Yeonjun teasing her, as per usual. This time, it was about her height (a rather unoriginal and overused topic of teasing amongst her members). More specifically, he was teasing her about how her height correlated with her strength and how she was “super weak and wimpy” compared to him and the other members.

She, of course, defended herself by saying there’s no feasible way she wouldn’t be the weakest member as all of the boys have at least eight inches on her. Her mistake came when she tried to claim she was fairly strong for her size. For context: she is not fairly strong for her size. She’s actually probably fairly weak for her size seeing as all her workouts consist of cardio and weight loss and not muscle gain. So unless you’re talking about heart health, Kiryoung is rather unfortunately weak.

This all leads her to where she is now, sitting on a bench after signing in for a session at a rock climbing gym. The connection between Yeonjun’s teasing, her attempt to defend herself, and sitting in a rock climbing gym? Yeonjun bet her that she couldn’t rock climb because she’s too weak (which she is) and she agreed to go rock climbing to prove him wrong (which she won’t be able to).

Basically, Kiryoung is definitely stressing out while sitting on this bench, not sure at all where she’s even supposed to start. She doubts she’ll even be able to do any of the courses or routes or whatever they’re called.

Someone sits down beside her as she’s worrying in her head, “This might be weird, but you look extremely familiar.”

Kiryoung looks to her left and sees a very pretty girl looking at her intently as if trying to piece together who she is. Kiryoung goes a little red in the face and shies away from the girl.

“You must have me mistaken for someone else,” Kiryoung says.

“No, I swear I’ve seen you before.”

The pretty girl doesn’t stop looking at her, beautiful round eyes continuing to search Kiryoung’s face even as she shrinks away from her. The girl gasps as realization crosses her features.

“Oh my god!” she exclaims. “You’re Kiryoung! From Tomorrow By Together! Oh my god, I loved your guys’ comeback.”

So that’s why this girl recognized Kiryoung.

“Thank you,” Kiryoung says, trying to make herself sound more confident as she seems to be interacting with a fan.

“Oh, I should introduce myself,” the girls says, “I’m Jeon Somi.”

Confidence levels are dropping dangerously low. This is not her fan, this is the nation’s girl group’s center, the first place winner of the first Produce series. How is she supposed to maintain any amount of confidence in her presence? Kiryoung really has no idea how she didn’t recognize the Jeon Somi but figures it must have something to do with being flustered by her sudden appearance and intense staring.

“Y-You’re Somi?”

“Mhm,” Somi hums her affirmation. “And you are Kiryoung, right? I just want to make sure...”

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. Imagine if you weren’t and I just accused some random person of being in an idol group. That would have been embarrassing.”

Somi has avoided her embarrassment, but Kiryoung can tell that hers has just started. She’s finding it extremely difficult to speak to the other girl, let alone look her in the eye. Curse you, social anxiety.

“Do you like rock climbing, too?” Somi asks.

“No.”

“Oh...”

“I-I mean I’ve never done it before. This is my first time.”

“Oh!” Somi looks much more pleased with that answer. “Do you want to do it with me? I can show you the ropes.”

Kiryoung looks around, confused, “What ropes? Do they have rope courses here, too?”

Somi bursts into laughter, “Oh my god, you’re hilarious.”

Kiryoung laughs with her nervously, realizing her mistake of taking an idiom too literally and hoping to play it off. Somi doesn’t seem to notice that she was being serious. If she does, she chooses not to say anything.

“Okay, okay,” Somi says, calming herself down. “Do you want me to show you how the gym works? I’ve been coming her for a while.”

“Um...”

Kiryoung weighs her options. On one hand, if she says no, she might come off as mean or rude and give a bad first impression to her senior artist. On the other hand, if she says yes, she’ll have to live through many more embarrassing and awkward moments and learn that she really isn’t physically cut out for rock climbing with an audience. Neither are very good options.

“Sure,” Kiryoung answers quietly, too scared to be rude right now in order to avoid embarrassment in the near future.

The very near future because, with Somi’s instruction, Kiryoung makes it about four handholds before she falls off the wall and lands flat on her back, unable to catch or right herself.

Somi jumps off the wall after her, “Woah, are you okay?”

Kiryoung sits up, “I don’t think I’m cut out for rock climbing.”

“You only just started,” Somi laughs. “Come on.”

Somi extends her hands to Kiryoung, offering her help to get up. Kiryoung hesitates for a second before accepting it, letting the taller girl pull her to her feet.

“Let’s try the easiest course,” Somi says, “I probably should have asked you what your skill level is before we started.”

Kiryoung switches her hand and footholds a few more times than during her first attempt before the shaking in her arms becomes too much and she has to let go. She’s higher up that she realized, landing on her feet but falling back onto her butt. She looks down and sighs.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Somi asks.

Kiryoung looks up and finds Somi crouching down beside her. She looks away shyly.

“I’m not very good at this,” Kiryoung says.

“Well, no one really is their first time unless they’re already muscly and stuff.”

Kiryoung sighs, “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I only came because I’m trying to prove to my members that I’m not weak. Even though I am. I’ve got noodle arms.”

Kiryoung wiggles her arms out in front of her to prove her point. Somi laughs and this time, Kiryoung can laugh easily with her. Somi falls back onto her bottom, sitting beside Kiryoung.

“So you’re trying to prove to your members that you’re not weak but none of them are even here to see if you succeed or fail?” Somi asks.

Kiryoung is silent for a long moment, the sounds of the gym filling the brief pause in the two girls’ conversation.

Kiryoung groans, “I’m so gullible.”

Somi bursts out into laughter again, falling to her side.

“Oh my god, I’m so stupid!” Kiryoung says. “I could have gone to a park and caught frogs instead of wasting my time with rock climbing!”

Somi just laughs harder. Kiryoung’s irritation at herself fades and she ends up laughing with Somi. Finally, it seems Kiryoung isn’t so nervous around the younger girl. Eventually, they collect themselves and stand.

“Well, we can keep trying if you really want to but my session time runs out in ten minutes anyway,” Somi says after checking the time, “So do you want to get lunch together?”

“Lunch? Together?”

“Yeah. We could talk more and get to know each other.”

“Um, yeah, okay. Let’s do that.”

After trading out her climbing shoes for her normal ones, Kiryoung waits for Somi at the front of the gym. It’s started raining harder since they started climbing but Kiryoung brought an umbrella, knowing the forecast for the day. She pulls her phone out and starts searching up nearby restaurants, not wanting to walk too far in the rain. Somi, back from the bathroom, stops beside Kiryoung.

“I’m kind of in the mood for ramen; are there any places nearby?” Somi asks.

“Uh, let me see... Yes. There’s a ramen place about three blocks that way.”

Kiryoung quickly memorizes the directions to the restaurant and tucks her phone away. They walk out of the gym and stand under the overhang. Kiryoung notices Somi isn’t carrying an umbrella or a rain jacket.

“Do you not have an umbrella?” Kiryoung asks.

“No, my dad dropped me off and I ran inside,” Somi explains. “I figured I could just dash from awning to awning.”

“We can just share mine,” Kiryoung says, opening her kiwi-patterned umbrella.

“You don’t mind sharing?” Somi asks.

Kiryoung shakes her head with a smile, “Not at all.”

Kiryoung holds her umbrella up a bit more so the taller girl can fit under it. Kiryoung feels her face grow warm with how close she is to Somi. They start walking, bumping into one another as they try to walk under the same umbrella.

“Here, let me just...”

Somi takes the umbrella from Kiryoung and pulls Kiryoung’s hand to loop through her arm. Kiryoung’s face gets hotter.

“Better?” Somi asks.

Kiryoung just nods.

They start off again, able to walk much more comfortably side by side now. Kiryoung tugs on Somi’s arm when they’re supposed to turn, leading the two of them silently. They eventually make it to the shelter of the ramen restaurant. Somi motions for Kiryoung to enter first, no overhang or awning making the transition inside without getting wet a little difficult. Somi stands halfway inside the restaurant as she closes Kiryoung’s umbrella, shaking it out before stepping inside fully.

“At least one of us was prepared,” Somi says, handing Kiryoung her umbrella back.

“You can go sit down; I’ll grab the ingredients from the bar,” Kiryoung tells her.

“Can I trust you not to poison me?” Somi asks.

“W-Why would I poison you?” Kiryoung stutters.

Somi smiles at her, “I’m teasing.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

“You really are gullible,” Somi quips.

The taller girl walks off to find a table and Kiryoung goes to the bar where she picks out a two person serving of ramen, some onions and scallions and green onions, a bit of soy sauce, and four pot stickers. She pays and is given a pot of water, finding Somi and placing it all down.

“This looks fancy,” Somi says, “I usually just get the ready-made seasonings.”

“It’s a lot better if you season it yourself,” Kiryoung tells her, setting the pot of water on the table’s stove.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

Once the water has started to heat up, Kiryoung starts to add her seasonings to make the broth. She glances at Somi at one point, noticing how the younger girl is watching what she’s doing intently. She looks back at what she’s doing, making sure not to mess anything up. When the broth is boiling, she adds the noodles and not too long after, the pot stickers. Kiryoung turns the heat off once it’s finished and moves the pot off the stove onto a hot pad.

“Alright,” she says. “You try it first.”

Somi breaks her chopsticks apart and picks up a few noodles. She transfers them onto her spoon with a bit of broth and blows on it. She looks at Kiryoung.

“Here’s to no poison,” she jokes.

Kiryoung giggles.

Somi eats the noddles and broth, face lighting up as she tastes it. Kiryoung feels her heart swell a bit as Somi looks pleased with her ramen. Somi swallows her first bite.

“I think I just fell in love with you,” she says.

Kiryoung giggles shyly again and waves her off, “It’s not a big deal.”

“No, it’s seriously so good,” Somi says, already getting another bite of noodles ready, “And food is the quickest way to my heart.”

Kiryoung smiles happily at her pot of ramen, breaking apart her own chopsticks to begin eating as well. They talk casually with one another, eating and learning about one another. Every so often, Kiryoung watches Somi’s face as she eats, always equally delighted to see Somi so pleased with her cooking.

“Yeah, all my members bully me,” Kiryoung says as she concludes her explanation of her relationship with her members.

“That’s so mean,” Somi says, “You’re like the sweetest person ever.”

“You just met me today.”

“My statement still stands; I am a wonderful judge of character.”

“And my character is sweet?”

“And gullible, a great cook, blunt, a little socially awkward.”

“Oh...”

“But you’re also caring and inquisitive. You’re curious about the world.”

Kiryoung smiles a little at Somi’s observations.

“You’re also super cute.”

Kiryoung blinks at Somi. Somi looks back at her.

Kiryoung shoves some noodles into her mouth to avoid any further awkward eye contact.

[whitherliliesbloom]

since they're going around, do you have any pregnancy headcanons for Illya? (you can delete this if it makes you feel uncomfortable, sorry!)

*Interrupts my butler au and nyooms to my inbox real fast*

SO I SEE YOU’VE CHOSEN DEATH. Placed under the cut because this is long. Seriously. I’ve broken the headcanons into sections. Some 5.3 spoilers under the birth section due to mentions of a certain someone. 

Realization and breaking the news to friends

Among their friends, Illya and Alphinaud are probably one of the last to get married but ironically, the first to have children. Because they’re the type of couple who has like 20 years of their future planned ahead of them. Communication is extremely important to them, and long before they even got married they’d already discussed having children.

Having a baby was on their ‘to-do’ list right after moving into a new home and also making sure the timing is right that no world ending threat might cause having a baby to become an inconvenience.

So when Illya starts to feel symptoms she honestly isn’t even surprised. She’s more ecstatic than anything. Given her experience with being a medic, she can also roughly tell apart her morning sickness from a common cold or food poisoning. She does go to a chirurgeon to double check though, and her suspicions are confirmed. 

She surprises Alphinaud with the news by sewing a tiny onesie version of his trademark suit and gifting it to him in a present box while he’s working.

Alphinaud planned for this but he still can’t help but feel his stomach do flips when he figures out what her gift means and he grabs her into a hug only to quickly pull away “ah- I should be careful from now on, I’m sorry!”

They tell the scions and they celebrate the news together. Krile offers to personally monitor Illya’s condition and Tataru won’t stop crying throughout the party. 

Illya travels back to the First and announces the news to her and Alphinaud’s friends of Norvrandt. Chai Nuzz was fortunate enough to stop his wife from crushing Illya in a hug by reminding her that she’s carrying a child. Dulia Chai is quickly reduced to tears when Illya gives her a handwritten letter from Alphinaud asking her to be the baby’s godmother. Ronitt offers to build Illya an automaton that would serve as an automatic baby walker but she refuses his offer. The pixies seem to already know Illya’s pregnant before she even tells them, most probably due to word from Feo Ul, who promptly scolds their darling sapling for keeping the news secret from them until now. Seto is horrified that Illya walked all the way to see him and gave her a flight back to the crystarium. Ryne is overjoyed and asks if she could be the baby’s big sister, to which Illya of course agrees. 

Though unfortunately, Krile asks Illya to refrain from traveling back to the first anymore especially during her late stages of pregnancy. They don’t know if the baby will be able to handle the travel well especially when it starts to develop a solid body and soul of its own. Illya explains this to her friends, and they all understand.. though Dulia Chai does request for a painting of the baby from Alphinaud after Illya gives birth. 

Before Illya could make the traverse back to visit her parents in their homeland, she is surprised by their visit. Alphinaud had apparently scheduled and prepared their voyage over to Eorzea to visit Illya as a surprise, and Illya can’t hold back her tears of joy. Cocona too, is reduced to tears but tries to hold it back. Lachlan is just jolly and excited to be a granddad and tells Alphinaud and Illya that he’s proud of them.

Cocona and Lachlan stay at their home for a few days and before they return to their farm, Lachlan crafts up a little baby stool with his carpentry skills.

During pregnancy / preparation

Even when pregnant, Illya is a workaholic. She’s absolutely forbidden from fighting but she still actively works her shifts at infirmaries and sneaks out once in a while to attend to injured soldiers. She also does chores, much to Alphinaud’s chagrin. Against his insistence, she still cleans the house and cooks their meals, but she leaves the heavyweight stuff to temporary helpers Alphinaud hires.

When the two aren’t working, they’re actively preparing for the baby’s arrival. Illya by sewing as many onesies, towels and beanies she possibly can.. and Alphinaud by buying an indescribable amount of supplies. They have a whole storage room dedicated to baby nappies, wipes, formula and food. He doesn’t listen to Illya’s scoldings. Surely a ceiling high worth of diaper packs isn’t enough. 

Illya’s a lot more picky about her diet and the 9 months she’s pregnant is the longest she goes without eating her signature black blossom peppers. Even she knows that it might be hazardous to her baby. Her weirdest craving consists of a stick of steamed celery dipped in Ishgardian tea. She’ll swear upon her life that it tasted good to her at the time. 

They also begin to prepare a room for the baby, Illya pasting glow-in-the-dark stickers of stars and birds on the ceiling and they paint the walls a bright baby blue with clouds together. They line the baby’s bed with layers of the best blankets Illya could afford to sew and plushies of themselves. There are plushies of the scions lining the shelves above the cabinet too. Of course, Illya has a ton of potted flowers in the room.

Of course, they begin baby-proofing the house too and Illya has to ask Alphinaud to get a lock fixed on the door of their armory. They have a personal aetheryte installed in their garden which only they and their trusted companions can attune to. Illya crafts a baby bracelet with a tiny aetheryte charm attached to it that she plans to give to her baby, so that she and Alphinaud could warp to their side at any thing. 

Alphinaud and Illya do A LOT of reading to prepare themselves, they’d often pour through hours and hours worth of information in order to educate themselves on what is best for their baby. 

Alphinaud loves pressing his ear against Illya’s belly and talking to the baby, and they both read a lot of books out loud. They often fall asleep on the couch together, wrapped in a blanket with Alphinaud’s head against her belly and her hand brushing his hair. 

Illya also sings lullabies to her tummy a lot, which inevitably ends with Alphinaud falling asleep on her lap. If she isn’t singing to her tummy, she’s humming while doing something else like knitting or reading. 

Illya takes a lot of walks and makes it a point to do light exercises even while pregnant. She was told that it’s good for expecting mothers to do so, for both the baby and to hopefully lessen labour pains. Alphinaud asks Illya to not do it unless she has somebody accompanying her but of course she doesn’t always listen. 

The baby’s first kick causes Illya to freeze completely in place and Alphinaud panics when he sees her just standing there. He nearly runs to  call the chirurgeon but Illya just stops and giggles as she stops him. “No, no. It’s okay. I just.. felt a little nudge.” Alphinaud drops to a knee and immediately presses his hand against her belly to feel yet another kick. And to say he’s over the moon would be an understatement. He scoops Illya up and kisses her forehead.

Word about the warrior of light’s pregnancy starts to get out and they are sent hampers containing gifts as well as a lot of congratulations fan letters. Some noteworthy gifts are a doman tea set along with a note that explains how it’s good for rejuvenating expecting mothers, tiny scarves and mittens with the Ishgardian emblem sewn on them, kupo nuts, medical supplies and flower bouquets from the elder seedseer herself. 

Alisaie often stops by to accompany Illya. ‘Accompany’ is just another word for babysitting, really. Alphinaud expresses worry for Illya’s insistence to keep working even while working and for once, Alisaie completely agrees with her brother. Illya’s not even allowed to hold a broom while Alisaie’s around. They also get several other visits from others.

When Rielle and Sidurgu visit her and Sidurgu is visibly awkward when he sees Illya dressed in maternal clothing and stuck on the couch under a disgruntled elezen woman’s watch. Usually when he meets Illya, she’s in a full suit of armor. 

Melkoko drops off lunchboxes on the front door and doesn’t extend her visit much out of fear of bothering Illya’s rest. Illya goes to visit Leveva, who unsurprisingly already foretold of Illya’s pregnancy and congratulates her by giving her a set of supplements she’d prepared before hand. Sylphie and Getty surround Illya and begin to bombard her with questions when she visits them at the conjurer’s guild. Redolent rose is too busy to visit Illya, but has his best set of baby sized berets sent over to her home. 

PLOT TWIST

When it came time to ask about the baby’s gender, they were about to go visit the chirurgeon when Krile stops them and notes that... there’s two separate aetheric bodies in Illya’s belly.

Y’shtola and the chirurgeon confirms it - they’re having twins. A boy and a girl.

Alphinaud’s panicking because he thinks the supplies he bought isn’t enough and Illya has to beg him not to order yet another 5 years worth of supplies. They compromise and go for 2. Their storage room still has a good amount of baby supplies even after the twins outgrow needing them.

They begin making preparations to welcome the second baby, with another baby cot, Illya crafts another set of baby clothing and a second aetheryte bracelet and of course, even more vigilant babysitting from Alisaie. They prep the nursery with even more plush toys, though Illya suggests that they save room so she can sew plushies of their babies afterwards too.

Illya’s belly really starts to expand and feels heavy as a result of her carrying twins and it’s difficult even for a workaholic for her to bring herself to walk for long periods. She’s stuck at home during the last two months of her pregnancy as a result. She sometimes vomits and loses her appetite, and at other times she eats a whole lot more than she usually does. 

Illya has difficulty sleeping, and suffers from back pain and when the babies stretch, she also feels slight pain in her ribs and it’s led to a lot of late night moments of panic from Alphinaud. She assures him that she’s fine though. Alphinaud gives her a lot of massages and brings her tea and snacks when she gets the munchies.

Alphinaud begins to work a lot harder and does lots of overtime on his work so that he can spend more time at home with Illya after she gives birth. 

They have a bit of trouble picking out names because they hadn’t exactly expected to get twins. But they eventually settle for Ipheion and Eulalie Leveilleur, both named after flowers.

IT’S BIRTH TIME

Illya’s water breaks while she’s baking cookies and she drops the tray of them onto the floor and sends Alphinaud running out of his office. He calls the linkpearl to the chirurgeon as calmly as he can and he seems to be cool as ice even when he’s carrying Illya out to the garden but Illya can tell from his arms that he’s shaking. Alphinaud’s read about this about a hundred times already but he still can’t shake how terrified he is now that he’s finally having to confront the process. 

Alphinaud refuses to leave Illya’s side for the entirety of her labor and even before that. By Krile and Alisaie’s request, he also calls them to inform them of Illya going into labour and they quickly rush over. 

He holds Illya’s hand and tells her that it’s okay and reassures her that she’s doing well. Her labour pains last significantly longer due to having twins. Illya’s pain tolerance is extremely high, but childbirth is on a completely different level and Alphinaud curses the twelve for not being able to do anything to lessen the pain for her.

Alphinaud wipes Illya’s sweat with a napkin and his throat grows parched from how much he talks to her.

The baby boy is the first to be delivered and Alphinaud is given the baby to hold, but he can’t bring himself to celebrate just yet. With his free hand, he continues holding Illya. By this point, they’re both thoroughly exhausted and Alphinaud’s hand is numb from how Illya squeezes him but they press on until she finally delivers the girl. 

Illya passes out for a brief moment but regains consciousness to find her two babies wrapped up in Alphinaud’s arms, and she can’t help but to burst into tears. They each carry one, and Alphinaud is speechless. He’s a man of much eloquence but even he can’t describe the sheer joy of what he’s feeling at the moment.

Alisaie also begins crying when she sees the infants for the first time but she’s not crying, she swears!! Krile checks on Illya’s vitals very very thoroughly and insists that Illya rest, which she does. She ends up sleeping for a good 10 hours until she wakes up and asks to hold her baby immediately. 

The scions visit the new parents one by one so as to not disturb them too much and all give their blessings to them and their newborn twins. Y’shtola in particular notes that their aetheric bodies are healthy and also surprisingly stronger than most newborns she’s seen. G’raha and Alisaie argue over who each of the babies resemble more. Tataru enters the room carting a trolley full of food and supplements for Illya to eat. No more cooking until she’s fully recovered - and she does mean fully. It’s the first time Illya agrees to finish her archon loaf. 

Alphinaud often falls asleep on the chair next to the bed with a baby against his chest. 

When they finally get to go home with the babies, they are almost by their babies’ sides 24/7.. not that it would be hard for them too especially with many sleepless nights and baby cries awaiting them. 

They celebrate the twins one month anniversary by inviting their friends over and they are given lots of gifts. Alphinaud asks Estinien to be their baby’s godfather. Estinien refuses.

The first time they bring the babies to the Rising Stones, everyone there just surrounds them and clamours to get a chance to hold the babies. 

Illya sews plushies of her twins and they now permanently reside next to plushie Illya and plushie Alphinaud

[superextrafamily]

without a fight

Peter wasn’t one to be jealous of other kids’ parents. He’d been lucky to not have only two but six great parents that would do anything for him: first his parents, then Ben and May, and now Steve and Tony. Though now they were just Pops and Dad. Referring to them as anything else didn’t feel right.

There was no reason to be jealous of anyone else because they didn’t have the best parents; he did.

But sometimes, at times like this, he was insanely jealous. So jealous he wouldn’t be surprised if he turned green from envy one day.

Because maybe they didn’t have a dad that made their lunch every day, making sure to pack their favorite snacks. And maybe they didn’t have a pops that made them a cup of tea whenever they were upset to help calm their anxiety.

But they also didn’t have parents with a job that left them wondering if they’d come home.

Peter did.

Every time Dad and Pops went on a mission, they left an anxious teenager behind wondering if that was going to be the last time he saw them. He always squeezed his arms around them as tight as he could and made them promise to come home before they pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Then he’d stay up until they walked back through that door.

He didn’t do that this time because he had been so selfish, so stupid, so immature.

He’d let a dumb little argument stop him from getting his goodbye. He stayed in bed, staring at his wall until he heard them leave. And he stayed there all day until there was a knock on his door. It was Natasha coming to check in on him. Somehow, she managed to drag him out of his room, to the kitchen, and get him to eat the dinner she made.

“Am I gonna get a smile tonight?” She asked.

Peter bared his teeth in the most sarcastic grin possible for only a moment before he let it drop off his face. Then he went back to staring down at his plate as he pushed his food around.

Nat sighed. “Peter, Tony mentioned you guys had a little fight before--.”

“I’m not a baby,” Peter interrupted her petulantly.

“Oh, you’re really helping your case with that pout.”

Peter glared up at her, but stopped giving her his attitude when he saw the look in her eyes. She didn’t deserve his brattiness when she wasn’t even the one that refused to let him join the mission. Hell, even the two that refused to let him tag along didn’t deserve his brattiness. He let his shoulders slump and mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

She stared at him for a moment pretending to think before saying, “I’ll forgive you if you watch a movie with me.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” He really didn’t. He had stayed home alone before just fine. He might have been too young to go on the mission, but he wasn’t too young to take care of himself for a weekend.

“No, you don’t,” Nat agreed. “But you do need a friend.”

Peter grumbled under his breath but didn’t argue it. She was right and they both knew it. He was always anxious when Dad and Pops went on a mission, but now it was a million times worse when the last conversation they had together was an argument.

“So, what do you say I clean up these dishes and you go get a movie started?” She gave him a small smile. Peter must have been really pathetic if Nat was offering to do the dishes.

But regardless of the reason why Nat was being so kind to him and no matter how much pity was involved, Peter still sat with her on the couch as the movie played. He was barely paying attention, only watching the screen.

He couldn’t enjoy himself when he was too busy worrying about what the hell his parents were going through. If something happened to them then the last thing they’d remember was Peter’s cruel words and angry glare.

His eyes started to burn at just the thought, so before the movie even hit the halfway point, Peter excused himself and went to bed. Nat had looked at him with obvious concern, but she still let him go back to his room.

Then he laid in bed wide awake, staring up at the glow in the dark stickers Pops had put up for him. The tears that had been threatening to fall finally escaped from his eyes, trailing down the sides of his temples. He sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Peter, would you like me to alert Miss Romanoff of your distress?” FRIDAY asked softly.

Peter wiped at his eyes frantically as if she wouldn’t be able to see he was still upset. “No. I’m fine. Don’t tell her.” But the thing was, he wasn’t fine. He was upset and he was scared and the only people that could make him feel better were in an undisclosed location hunting Hydra.

So he stared up at the ceiling, tears streaming down into his ears until he finally fell asleep.

“Can I come with you?” Peter asked, excitedly following Pops as he got himself ready for the mission.

“No,” Pops said without hesitation as he grabbed his boots to pull on.

Peter frowned. “Why not?”

Steve looked at him with a frown and said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Because you’re not ready?”

Peter groaned, rolling his eyes. “I’m ready! I go patrolling all the time and I’m fine.”

“Tony,” Pops said, lacing up his boot without looking up. “Tell your son he’s not ready for a mission like this yet.”

“He’s right, kiddo,” Dad said, sounding more apologetic about it than Pops. “This is really dangerous.”

“I’m not a child. I know it’s dangerous. That’s why I want to come and help you.”

Pops tilted his head. “Except you are a child. You’re our child. Which is you you can’t come help. I can’t be worrying about you when I need to worry about a mission.”

Peter narrowed his eyes. “Worry about me? I’m a superhero too.”

“You’re my kid first,” Pops challenged. “And as my kid, I will always worry about you. Especially when we’re trying to take down a bunch of terrorists that have no qualms with killing a child.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Peter said, “Then it’s good I can take care of myself.”

“You’re not coming,” Pops said as he stood up straighter. “Maybe another time. After--.”

“You always say that! But the truth is you’ll never let me help!”

Pops continued like Peter hadn’t just interrupted him, “After you have proper training and you’re ready to join us.”

“I have enough training!”

“Stopping muggers and crimes throughout Queens every night isn't necessarily fighting Hydra, Peter.” Pops crossed his arms over his chest, matching Peter’s stance.

“What about lifting a building off of myself and crashing that plane on a beach to stop Vulture? That’s just little insignificant stuff too, huh?”

Pops flinched slightly when Peter mentioned that night. Pops hadn’t been his Pops at that point, but now he was and he hated thinking of Peter hurt. It was a low blow for Peter to use, but he wanted to see him falter in his argument. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Peter. I know what you are capable of, but I’m only trying to help situations like that from happening again.”

“If you never let me out, how will be able to show you I’m ready?”

“Training,” Pops answered simply.

Peter scoffed. “Whatever.”

“Don’t whatever me, Peter Benjamin,” Pops said. He sighed before softening his voice, “I’ll start training you, buddy. There’s no need to rush into anything.”

“Sorry, I’d be such an inconvenience.” Peter stared down at his feet.

“Peter, I didn’t--.”

“No. I get it. Don’t worry. I won’t be there to slow you down.” He turned around and stormed out of the room. He heard his dads calling after him, but he ignored them. He made sure to stomp his feet extra hard and slammed door as hard as he could just so his parents knew he was upset. When he was inside his room, he laid in bed, glaring angrily at his wall until there was a soft knock as his door and someone was opening it up.

He heard his dad call out softly, “Petey, we’re heading out.”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut and didn’t move. He didn’t want to talk to either of them.

“Bubba,” Dad tried again, “You want to come say goodbye? We’re gonna be all weekend.”

Peter didn’t move even as Dad started to walk into the room. He walked around his bed, leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Sweet dreams, baby. I love you.” He brushed his hands through his hair. “So does Pops.” He didn’t move for a moment and Peter knew he was waiting for him to crack-- which he almost did --but finally, he sighed and said, “We’ll be home soon.” Then he left the room and Peter was alone.

Peter woke up and again, he was alone. But that wasn’t what was wrong. There was something else wrong. Something very wrong. Wrong enough to wake him up in the dead of the night. His spidey senses were practically screaming at him.

He pushed himself out of bed and looked over at his alarm clock on his bedside table. It was a little after 3 in the morning. Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked up at the ceiling when he whispered, “Hey, FRIDAY, is everything okay? Is Nat okay?”

“Miss Romanoff is currently on the phone with Mr. Barton,” FRIDAY replied.

Peter frowned. What was she doing talking to Clint at 3 in the morning? Unless something was wrong…

Peter jumped out of bed and hurried out of his room. He ran down the hall, his bare feet silent against the floor and didn’t stop until he was just outside of the living room and he could hear Nat. He peeked around the corner and could see her standing up as she spoke to Clint through a video call. She looked stressed as she ran a hand through her hair.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Clint?” She asked and for the first in his life, he knew what Black Widow sounded like when she was scared.

“We looked, Nat. We checked anywhere they could be hiding if they even were even able to escape. There’s nothing,” Clint said.

“Look again,” Nat ordered. “Send a hundred more people in to search everywhere until they bring them home.”

“Nat…” Clint said with a sigh. “I know you don’t want to think about it, but they’re gone.”

Peter’s entire world stopped spinning when he heard Clint say those words. He knew who they were. Iron Man and Captain America. His dad and his pops...Peter covered his mouth to stifle any sounds that were about to come out as he attempted not to burst into sobs.

“No! Dammit, that’s not possible. You hear me? You think Tony Stark and Steve Rogers would just leave us like that? No, forget about us for a moment. You think they would leave Peter like that?”

She was right. They wouldn't. No matter how much of a brat Peter was to them, they would never leave. They knew it would break him and they would never hurt Peter like that. Never in a million years.

“Nat, it’s not like they had a choice. The place was rigged to blow. It exploded the minute they got in there.”

Peter’s knees crumbled underneath him and he fell to the floor, using the wall to hold his weight. He was shaking his head, denying Clint’s report. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dead. They couldn’t be dead.

The rest of their conversation was lost to his ears because all he could hear was his heart pounding. Tears were streaming down his face as he started to cry. He pressed his hand tighter over his mouth, hoping it would muffle some of his sobs.

His parents couldn’t be dead. They couldn’t. Not when Peter didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t give them a hug. He didn’t give them a kiss. He didn’t give them anything but his attitude.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and continued to cry, willing it all to be a nightmare. Maybe he didn’t wake up yet. He would give anything for it to be a bad dream.

But then there was a hand on his wrist and another cupping his cheek. He opened his eyes to see Nat kneeling in front of him. Her lips were moving, but he couldn’t hear a word she was saying.

He didn’t want to hear it though. He knew she’s tell him the same bullshit they told him with his parents and with his aunt and uncle. It was going to be okay. But it wasn’t. It was never going to be okay.

So he shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get her to disappear.

It didn’t work.

He stayed there, wheezing through a panic and she continued to rub his arm gently and caress his cheek. Eventually, he stopped hyperventilating enough to hear her softly soothing him. “It’s okay, malen’kiy. It’s going to be okay.”

He shook his head because she was wrong. She was so wrong. He couldn’t lose them. He couldn’t live without them. He didn’t want to. “Don’t say that,” he said through his sobbing. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Oh, Peter...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She tried to pull him into a hug, but he yanked himself away from her. “Peter,” she said in shock.

“Go away,” he said, trying to pull away from her hold, but she refused to let him go.

Despite his harsh tone, she didn’t go anywhere. “You’re insane if you think I’m going to leave you alone after this. I told Tony and Steve I’d watch you and that’s what I’m doing.”

Peter’s crying started back up when she mentioned their names. “I don’t want you to watch me.”

“Too bad,” she responded, holding him tighter.

Peter grunted and tried fighting against her. He should have easily been able to fight her off, but he couldn't now. He could barely sit up without letting himself fall over. He fought her for the next few seconds, trying to get away from her and all by himself.

“I want them back,” he sobbed, trying to shove her away.

“I know, Peter.”

“Tell them to come home!” He yelled, even though he knew it was impossible. He smacked his hand against her shoulder, using only a fraction of his strength.

She refused to go anywhere and eventually, he gave in. He stopped fighting her and let himself fall forward. She caught him before he could hit the ground and pulled him close to her.

He wrapped his arms around her and even though he hated her hug, he didn’t let go. He hated her hugs because they were as tight as Dad hugged and they weren’t as enveloping as Pops’ were. It was all wrong.

“I didn’t even say goodbye,” he said, hating himself. “I was a dick and didn’t even say goodbye.” Nat didn’t say a word to that; she only pulled him in closer. “I didn’t say I love you.”

“Stop that,” she said. “Don’t you dare think that they didn’t know how much you loved them.”

Peter rubbed at his eyes to try and clear some of the tears. “I had some way of showing them.”

Nat didn’t give in. “They knew you loved them endlessly and they loved you more than anything. I promise.”

Loved. Past tense. No more. There were no more dad sandwiches or dad kisses or movie nights or hair ruffles...there was no more of anything. It was all gone. The reason Peter was still waking up with a smile on his face was gone.

He felt his eyes burning again and before Nat could stop him, he was shoving himself out of her arms and racing back to his room.

“Peter, wait!”

Peter could barely hear her shout over his sobs as he ran. He threw open his bedroom door, slammed it behind him and jumped onto his bed. He stuffed his face in a pillow and screamed. He screamed as loud as his lungs would let him, even as it pained his throat.

He screamed again after taking in a quick breath. His pillow was being soaked with tears and snot, but he really didn't care. He didn't care that he was screaming so loud, it sounded like he was being killed. He didn't care that Nat was outside of his door, pounding on it to let her in. He didn't care that FRIDAY was trying to calm he down.

He threw his pillow across the room, watching as it hit a Star Wars Lego set on his shelf. It fell to the ground and crashed into hundreds of pieces.

Looking at the Legos on the floor only made him more upset when he remembered how Pops always made a big deal about navigating through his room like it was a minefield. He hated stepping on the little pieces, but Peter thought it was hilarious to watch him yelp and jump.

He flopped backwards, but looking up was even worse. Those stupid stars.

The only thing he could do was grab another pillow and squeeze I close to his chest as he shut his eyes. He wanted to block it all out. He wanted it to go away.

Peter fell asleep like that eventually, hoping he didn't wake up.

Unfortunately, he did wake up. He woke up to all of his tears and snot dried to his face. He didn't have the energy to wipe it off or even move. He laid there miserably, wondering how much longer he had to suffer through life like this. Because he was not living in this world without his dad and pops. No way. Impossible.

Nat came in a little later to try and coax him out of bed. She left and came back with a damp cloth to wash his face, but he still didn't move.

“Peter, you need to eat.”

“Leave me alone,” Peter grumbled.

“I brought in some toast. It's not too heavy just something to eat.”

“I'm not hungry.”

“I don't care. You need to eat.”

Peter glared up at her. “No. What I need are my parents.”

Natasha winced as if Peter slapped her. “Pete...I'm sorry.”

Peter huffed and rolled over to face away from her. He didn't want to see the pity on her face. “Just go.”

“Not until you eat.”

“You'll be waiting a while.”

She did wait a while. She waited hours. But eventually, she had to leave. She still had things to take care of with the mission. Wrapping things up.

She left and Peter still didn't move except for when he had to use the restroom once. He was straight back to bed afterward.

Natasha came back to check in, apologizing that she couldn't give him her full attention right now.

Peter didn't want it. She wasn't his mother. Actually--. “So what happens now?” He asked her before she could leave.

Natasha didn't answer immediately. “What do you mean?”

“Dad and Pops are dead. Who does the sad little orphan get sent to now?” He asked in such a careless tone. He didn't care. Wherever he was going, it wouldn't be enough. No one would ever be enough.

“Pete, we haven't even started discussing that. I'll be staying with you now...but after the services and you're a little more clear-headed, we'll have a talk.”

Peter wanted to shout at her. He wanted her to plan a funeral for three people instead of two. But she would only worry. She'd probably cry. Probably send him to a therapist.

He didn't need any of that.

He needed his dads.

He needed them safe at home.

They should be safe at home if it weren't for their stupid jobs and their stupid missions. God, he hated it. They were supposed to stay safe. They promised every time they left that they'd be safe.

Pops even had an extra good luck charm...it was supposed to protect him. But then again, it was supposed to protect Ben too.

Maybe it was doomed to fail or maybe it was good luck. Maybe it had the best luck, but it wasn't enough to fight the horrible luck Peter brought along.

No one was safe around him.

He ruined everything.

Peter cried again until he fell asleep.

“Pops, wait!” Peter shouted, running after Pops to catch him before he left.

Pops turned around with a smile on his face. “Hey, bud,” he said, catching him in his arms. “You okay?”

Peter hugged him tightly, nodding his head. It was a lie. He wasn't okay. But he'd lie for Pops. “I'm okay. Just wanted to say I love you one more time.”

Pops ruffled his hair fondly. “Love you too, bear. I'll be back before you know it.”

Peter couldn’t believe that for a certain fact. He'd been on lots of missions before and always made it home safe, but today was different. Today was different because his nightmare from last night was still haunting him.

(Pops was dead and Peter was kneeling by his body, using his bloody hands to try and stop the never-ending bleeding.

It was so real.

He woke up screaming Pops’ name with tears running down his face. Pops was in his room before he could finish his screams.

Pops flipped the light on as he ran inside. “Peter. Peter,” he said as he hurried to sit next to Peter. Peter stared at him with wide eyes. “It's okay, bud. I'm here. Pops is right here.”

Pops started to run his fingers through his hair and Peter grabbed his hands with his. This felt real. Pops was alive.

“You were d-dead,” Peter whispered, not willing to take his eyes off Pops. “There was so much blood.”

Pops pulled him so close to his chest, Peter felt his heart beating. “It was just a dream, sweetie. I'm okay. I'm okay.”

Pops carried him back into his bedroom and laid him down. He refused to let go of Pops even as he got into bed himself. Dad was on the other side, hushing him softly.

Peter laid there all night long, hands fisted tightly in Pops’ t-shirt and his wide eyes staring right at him.

Pops rubbed his head and pressed a kiss to the top of it. “I'm okay, Pete. You can go to sleep.”

Peter shook his head, unable to get the image of his Pops dying out of his head.

“Alright, buddy. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.”)

“I have something for you. It'll keep you safe today.”

Pops’ face softened. “Oh, Pete. I know you're still shaken up after that nightmare last night. I'll be okay.”

Peter didn't want to be reminded of last night. Both because the memory of the nightmare terrified him and the fact that Peter had cried and stayed away staring at Pops all night long.

He pulled out the necklace he had in his pocket. He held it out to Pops. “This is for you.”

Pops frowned curiously, taking the necklace in his hand. He looked at the small charm on the chain.

Peter explained as he studied it. “It's a St. Michael necklace. He's the patron saint of police officers, among many other things...it belonged to my Uncle Ben.”

The confusion in Pops’ face immediately washed away. “Pete…”

“I know you're not a police officer, but he also protects military and you're military, right, Captain?” He smiled as he watched Pops hold the chain delicately in his hands.

“Peter, I can't take this.”

Peter pulled his hands away, nodding his head. “Yes, you can. Please. I want you to have it. It'll keep you safe on all these missions.”

“But…”

“He'd want you to have it,” Peter said, meaning every word. Pops went to church just about every Sunday. He prayed before meals, bed, and even Yankees games.

“Are you sure, Petey?” Pops asked hesitantly.

“Positive. Please.”

Pops gave him a small smile before putting it around his neck. He looked down at it, rubbing his thumb over the pendant before tucking it into his shirt. “Thank you, Peter. I'll take extra good care of it. I promise.”

“Even though you have that,” Peter said, “please be careful still. Come home.”

Pops stepped forward taking Peter’s cheeks in his hands. He looked down at him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Of course, I will, Peter.”

“If you don't, you'll break Dad’s heart. And remember what I said to you when you asked me if you could marry him? I said if you broke his heart, you'd be in big trouble. So...you better come home.”

Pops kissed his forehead again. “I'm coming home, Peter. I promise I will always come home to you. You're my boy.”

“Peter, please open the door,” Nat said, pounding on the door. “Someone is on the phone for you.”

“Go away,” Peter said, just loud enough for her to hear. He had FRIDAY lock the door of his bedroom and he planned to keep it that way.  

“Peter, come on. Let me in.” She started knocking again.

“Leave me alone!” He shouted at the door. He didn't care that it had been a while since he'd left his bed. He never planned on leaving it again.

“Peter, just come out here and talk to--.”

“No!”

He could hear her grunt in frustration on the other end before shouting back, “Fine!” Then she was gone.

Peter huffed even though no one could hear his frustration. His dads were always the ones that came in when he was upset and refused to leave until he was less upset. Peter didn't even need to tell either of them he was upset; they just knew he needed comfort and they gave it to him.

No one could ever replace them.

So no one was coming in here to try and make him smile.

He pulled his blanket over his head and decided he was going to spend the rest of his life here. And the only people that could ever get him to smile again...were gone.

He laid there until his eyes grew too heavy to keep open. They closed before too long and he didn't open them again.

Not even when the sound of someone opening his bedroom door and sneaking inside woke him up.

He guessed it was Nat. FRIDAY probably unlocked the door finally for her to come in. It had been hours, maybe days since he had eaten something last. His stomach refused to let him forget that, but he didn't care. His hunger was the least important thing to worry about right now.

“Go away,” he grumbled, hoping his voice wasn't too muffled through the blanket. “I don't want your food.”

“I don't have any food, but how about a hug?”

Peter froze at the sound of that voice. That wasn't Nat, that was...no, but that was impossible!

“Come on. I know you're upset, but something tells me a Dad sandwich will make everything better. It always does.”

As impossible as it was, that was him. That was Pops. He shot up immediately, throwing the blanket off of him, only getting slightly tangled before he was free.

Pops was there, still in his uniform. His face was just as bloody as the rest of him. There was a trail of blood going down his temple and his skin was covered in dirt and bruises.  Peter looked over at Dad, who was holding him up.

He looked bruised, but he wasn't nearly as hurt as Pops was. He was in his underclothes for the Iron Man suit.

“Pops-- Dad... what--? Am I dreaming?” Please say no. Please say no.

“You're not dreaming, Petey,” Dad said.

Peter couldn't just believe his words. He needed to know. He threw himself forward and wrapped one arm around Pops and one around Dad.

Pops gasped in pain but still wrapped a secure arm around Peter. Peter tried pulling away so he stopped hurting him, but Pops only held him tighter. “Don't you dare go anywhere. Please just let me hold you.”

Peter could hear the tears in his voice and that was all he needed to start crying himself. Dad pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

Peter held onto them for a little bit longer before pulling away only slightly. he looked at Pops angrily. “You lied!” He yelled, tears pouring down his cheeks. “You said you'd always come home and you didn't! You lied to me!”

Pops hushed him gently, cupping his cheek. “I'm home. I came home. I'm here.”

“I thought you were dead!” Peter sobbed.

“I'm sorry, Pete. We got stuck and lost communication. We only just got back and we came to you as soon as we could.”

“Pops is right,” Dad told him. “He's supposed to be in medbay right now and he came running here first. To come see you.”

“I thought I lost you,” Peter whispered, his voice breaking. “I thought you were both gone forever.”

“We came home. We're home now,” Dad reassured him.

Peter was relieved that they were home. It was the best thing that could ever happen to him, but that didn't take away the hours he spent terrified without them. He was afraid to ever let them out of his sight again.

“I can't lose you,” Peter cried, shaking his head. “I can't lose you.”

“You didn't lose us.”

But one day he would. Eventually, he was going to lose both of them. The day it came, he wouldn't be ready. Even if the day came years later. He would never be ready.

Especially now. Especially when the last thing he would have said to them were cruel words in an argument.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said before you left. I thought that was the last thing I said to you and I would never get to apolo--.”

“Stop,” Pops said, his voice low. “Peter. I thought I was going to die. Beat, stabbed and lost...I really thought that was it. And my biggest regret was you living the rest of your life thinking I’m not always 100% proud of you. Because I am. Your my boy and I know you can take care of yourself, but I don't want you to. Because that's my job. I always do everything in life to protect you.”

Peter could see the sheen of sweat of his face and the paleness of his skin. He was not looking good, but he was still here making sure Peter was okay.

Peter couldn't help but smile at him and press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you, Pops.” He turned to Dad. “I love you too, Dad. But what do you say we get Pops some help?”

Dad sighed heavily. “Thank God. Thought I'd never convince him.”

They each took a side of Pops to start helping him limp out of the room and down the hallway. They passed by Nat, who was watching them with a smirk.

“Next time I tell you someone is on the phone for you, you better listen so he doesn't worry the entire trip back and then stumble up to your room instead of going to the medbay like he so desperately needs.”

Peter glanced back to watch Dad worry about how Pops was doing. He smiled at Nat and said, “Deal. But don't worry, I don't plan on letting them out of my sight any time soon.”

ao3 | buy me a coffee

[project-rebirth]

Prologue: Look What I Found Under This Big Rock – OP.“Apocrypha”

She was dead. It was 3PM on December 25 and Shirai Kuroko, a 1st year middle school girl with chestnut twintails and wearing nothing but a purple negligee, lay collapsed and unmoving on her bed in a Tokiwadai Middle School student dorm. She was completely dead.

As dead as a jellyfish rotting on the beach.

“Onwee-shama…still hasn’t come home…”

Yes.

Her roommate Misaka Mikoto had yet to return after being sent to the hospital after the injuries she had received just a few days prior to the Violent Violet incident (Even though the injuries she sustained were relatively minor in comparison to some others who were caught up in it), but knowing her, the attractive Onee-sama was off enjoying herself elsewhere on Christmas and her cute underclassman had failed to board Noah’s Ark in time. She may have been sent to a deserted island all on her own. Shirai Kuroko had been tragically rejected. And it hurt all the more because she knew there was no ill will behind it.

She did not even have it in her to flail around in frustration. A monotone ringtone played from the phone she had left by her pillow, so she reached out with her face still down in the pillow and spoke in a deep, zombie-like voice.

“Uwehhhh? A joint manhunt with Anti-Skill?”

“They’re apparently planning a major arrest. And isn’t that kind of violence your favorite thing, Shirai-san? The adults are actually offering to let you run wild for once, so you should probably take them up on it.”

Judgment apparently had a lot of work piled up even on Christmas.

She briefly considered resorting to pretending she was in too much pain to get out of bed due to being on her purple period which would curse you unless you forgot it existed before you turned 20…but then she had a different idea.

Yes.

If there was going to be some major incident happening, wouldn’t Misaka Mikoto be more liable to show up?

She leaped out of bed, fixed her mussed-up hair, and hurriedly responded.

“Understood, Uiharu!! I will be there right away! Where is ‘there’, by the way!?”

Tokiwadai forced impeccable behavior on its students, so the dorms were strictly locked down around Christmas, but work for Judgment was an exception. This was Shirai Kuroko’s first Tokiwadai Christmas, but she managed to strut right past the dorm manager and out the supposedly impregnable front entrance in her winter uniform and a very long scarf.

“Now, then.”

She let out a breath and vanished into thin air.

She was a Level 4 Teleporter.

She could only teleport things a distance of 81.5m at once and she could only teleport a weight of 130.74kg at once, but by repeatedly teleporting herself, she could move at speeds greater than a racecar. All while circumventing the restrictions of the asphalt roads.

The safety of District 7 could vary a lot depending on the area, but she made her way to one of the less safe areas. There was decidedly unartistic graffiti spray painted on the walls and presumably stolen and abandoned bicycles were lying all around. There were no Christmas decorations in evidence.

A habit instilled in her by her job(?) took over and she photographed the registration sticker on the underside of the bike seats.

“Is this the place?” she asked over the phone.

“An Anti-Skill truck should be parked nearby, so go find them. I’m busy with my own work, so I unfortunately won’t be able to join you. …Eh? Oh, what is it? Ehhh!? You want me to turn all this into an automated processing flowchart today!?”

After some sounds of a struggle, the call ended.

(I guess I have to do this.)

Being out and about gave her more of a chance to run across her beloved Onee-sama, Misaka Mikoto, than lying dead on her dorm room bed. Especially when there was trouble afoot. Her motivation was impure as could be, but she hoped they would forgive her if she could restore order to the city while she was at it.

She knocked on the door of a large steel truck that looked like a windowless bus and the door opened from the inside.

It was larger than a van, but it actually felt cramped on the inside. Both walls were crammed full of industrial computers and the excess space was piled high with boxes of weapons and ammo. There were no ordinary lights, so the glow of monitors and heat of machines filled the limited space. This was apparently a logistics vehicle that handled data control and materiel provision more than transporting people.

(And this is only the backup. Does that mean they have more personnel deployed than would fit in one bus?)

She looked skeptical. Anti-Skill was the grownup organization that preserved order in Academy City. In terms of the world outside the city, they were similar to the police. She knew they were a highly organized group of volunteer teachers, but this appeared to be a largescale job even for them. Just think about it. How many police officers would be needed to chase down a single robber escaping through the streets? It would be unusual to find that not even 30 was enough.

“Excuse me, but you requested my presence here. I am Shirai Kuroko of Judgment. If this major arrest required calling me in, does it involve an esper?”

They were not as polite as a phone shop’s receptionist. First, her voice was absorbed by silence and a few sharp glances turned her way after a bit. “The customer is always right” did not apply with civil servants. Plus, Shirai was not actually a customer. Finally, a nearby woman, who appeared to be an operator, spoke up.

She curtly gestured further back in the truck with her chin.

“You’re working with her.”

That seemed awfully cold after Shirai had gone out of her way to name herself and express her enthusiasm for the job, but she accepted it since she had seen some girls in her class who tried and failed to play the tsundere like that. Then she looked over in the indicated direction.

Much to her surprise, the person that she was to  work with did not look like your typical anti-skill officer based on the clothes they were wearing as well as the apparent age of the person.

She appeared to be a girl who looked around the age where she was in her last year of high school or starting her first year of university, though if she played her cards right, she looked like she could be any age. The girl had light purple hair, brown eyes and looked like she was wearing an old school uniform that surprisingly still fit her well. She  was sitting at the table with a laptop, seemingly engrossed in whatever she was looking at.

“.....”

For some reason, Shirai was under the impression that she gave off the air of a NEET or some kind of shut in, And just when she had that though, the NEET girl turned her head towards Shirai.

“Hm? Oh, you’re that girl I’m working with.... Shiroko was it?”

“...Shirai Kuroko. I am from Judgement. You don’t look like you’re from Anti-Skill... who are you?”

“Ah, that’s right. I suppose I don’t seem like your common law enforcement officer do I? My name is Kihara Jikan. I’m a special researcher that’s been recruited by the Governing Board to help Anti-Skill with the large operation that’s taking place.”

Shirai raised an eyebrow. She was familiar with the name Kihara and how that family of scientists were responsible for all sorts of atrocities. The likes of Kihara Gensei and Therestina Kihara Lifeline comes to mind. But there was a chance that Jikan was not involved in anything like that,, so she had to refrain from judging her for now.

“So, what is this operation we are participating in? Are we finally arresting MINUS?”

“To be clear, you can’t let anyone know about this. Because we live in an age where people will do just about anything to get material for an online video or social media post. Unfortunately however, it’s not MINUS. You see, in recent times, dangerous individuals and organizations from the Outside have infiltrated Academy City. The governing board has finally had enough and decided to do something about it, hence why we’re both here. Welcome to Operation Apocrypha Shirai-san.”

Infiltrators from the outside? Shirai knew there were instances of people breaching Academy City’s security and entering, but she did not know it was on a scale like this, especially something that warranted the full resources of Anti-Skill and Judgement.

And based on Jikan’s tone, Shirai could tell that this was a situation that took precedence over MINUS, who had gone rather quiet after the District 19 incident.

“These invaders are not espers or anything we are used to dealing with. These people and organizations operate on laws and concepts that are completely out of our current understanding, but thanks to the OUTRANK list that we got from the anonymous source called The Guardian, we know who is in this city and what we can expect when we engage them.”

Jikan shifted her laptop so Shirai could see before moving from a tab that had some stuff regarding research into Multi-Universe Theory and Temporal Quantum Mechanics before moving to a tab that held a really long list of names of organizations and their members, as well as some other names who were not really affiliated with any particular organization.

Shirai looked at the names and gave it a read through. She had never heard of these people or groups before, however she was more astonished by the number of them listed. These people were really in Academy City?

“Hamanchi Eggoko, Lea Alecto, Rosimontis The Purger, The Wild Horse... are these people seriously in Academy City?”

“OUTRANK doesn’t lie I’m afraid. Those people are either already in Academy City, or is expected to come here. Lea Alecto and Rosimontis The Purger are big enough threats on their own, several members of an organization known as The X has been spotted in this city including the one named Shinpachi Oni, the Wild Horse. Oh, and the names you listed are all Harmfuls. They are the ones you should be careful of.”

“Harmfuls..?”

“Yes. You see, we have a category system that separates the very dangerous elements from the less dangerous elements. The names you went over are all in the Harmful category, while others have been placed into the Beneficial category. It’s to know who we need to use the proper amount of force against really.”

Academy City was under attack.

Many hostile individuals and organizations were in the city illegally and were most likely here for some nefarious purpose. Looking at the organization called The X, as well as some of the others, there was great concern to be had for the security and safety of the city and its residents,but there were a lot of it that seemed unbelievable, at least on paper.

But then there was a thought that came to Shirai, something that should be asked now.

“I do have a question. Why is it that these third parties are entering the city in the quantity that they have? Is this a coordinated effort between the groups, or is there something here that they are looking for?”

“It’s hard to say whether or not the groups are working together, but based on what we have gotten, they seem to be mostly operating on their own. As for the second point, we believe that they are after some kind of experimental device that I can’t get into, but it’s imperative that none of them get their hands on it. Academy City tech can’t fall into the hands of outsiders.”

“So, does that answer your questions for now? We are expected to apprehend Bazuko, one of the members of X soon so we can find out what the organization is really doing here as well as to give us the locations of the rest of their members, so I hope you are ready for some action, Shirai.”

This was a citywide sweep of forces from the Outside. Shirai had heard a few things about something called the Third Side or Cosmic Side being talked about on internet forums (the only reason she knows about it is because Saten Ruiko told her) but she could not give any clear definition of what the cosmic side was really supposed to be. It felt like a fictional thing spoken of only in rumors. Like a few separate incidents had appeared connected by coincidence, creating the illusion of something larger there. Yet it was all too ominous to just laugh it off in that way.

But this sounded exactly like something her Onee-sama would get involved in. If these Cosmic Siders or whatever was going to be causing problems on a scale like this, then it was only a matter of time before Mikoto threw herself into the fray. She was heavily involved in that last incident, so it was only natrual that she would appear somewhere down the line.

With that possibility filling her mind, Shirai Kuroko was ready to engage the enemy with more vigor than she normally would have.

“Then let’s do our best to stop the criminals that are infiltrating our city!”

Start: Operation_Apocrypha

@tetsuwan-atom​ @lawain-dimensional-heroes​ @xbloodsoakedx​

[cripdeaf]

Why do you feel the need to exaggerate and lie about your illnesses? I don't doubt you're ill, but you just pick up every single disability going around. You're not blind or deaf, and certainly not paralysed. What's the point in lying?

Hi, are you my doctors? No? Then why do you feel the need to come here and do this every couple of months? I’m assuming you’re same person who’s been stalking me on here for the last year; if you are, I’m sorry for being an abusive shit to you, but I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve by constantly sending me anon asks yelling at me for being a fake.I’m so fucking tired of this; why do you think this is okay? What the hell do you want from me? I don’t know what to tell you, anon; either you’re doing this just to be an asshole, or you won’t fuck off until I hand you a diagnosis letter on a silver fucking platter.

Also, you do realise to get hearing aids (especially fully government subsidised ones), you don’t just get tested once, right? You do realise that getting an ophthalmology referral isn’t all sunshine and daisies, right? You do realise that spine issues are often degenerative, and also accompany EDS a lot, right?I have spent years trying to be as abled as I possibly can, and I am sick of it. It is exhausting. It is painful. I am done.

Or do you think I’m saying I’m profoundly deaf and totally blind? Because that’s not what I’m saying at all; deafness is a wide range of things, as is blindness.If it’ll sate your shitty attitude, I’ll explain my experiences medically with deafness and blindness, and you can ask another Australian d/Deaf / HoH and / or blind / VI person if I’m bullshitting or not.

It’s also helpful info for other d/Deaf / HoH and / or blind / VI and / or paralysed folx to have this information, so I’ll probably copy-paste it into its own post at some point.

Here’s how getting hearing aids under the Hearing Services Program, specifically the Community Service Obligation part of it (for folx under 26); you get your hearing tested, either through Australian Hearing or another audiologist (I went to the audiology clinic run by Melb Uni on Swanston St, on recommendation of my doctor after knowing I’m deaf for my whole life but just not having a diagnosis because “my child cannot be disabled in any way”, which is something a lot of d/Deaf / HoH and disabled folx experience). They a bunch of different tests; almost all of them are relating to pure tone (beeping noise), where you press a button when you hear the sound, often with various levels of static masking in your other(?) ear. Pretty sure it’s masking in the opposite ear; never figured that part out, even after four different tests in the last year. It sounds like it’s coming from all over.Some of the tests are about word recognition; I, personally, have about 70% in my left ear (with sound magnification), I think? It’s been a while since I got the number. I do pretty well, but they’re also single-syllable words that’re really clearly enunciated, so that definitely helps.Some of them are automatic, and you cannot fake these. These are mostly used for hearing aid tuning, in my experiences; example is when I went in a couple of weeks ago to get my new earmoulds and have them turned up, they did an automatic test to check exactly what needed to be turned up (my high ranges).So, after your initial test, if you’re not with Australian Hearing, they’ll transfer you to them; if you are, they’ll chat to you about what you want out of HAs, what kind of colours you’re after, etc.; I wanted Bluetooth, telecoil (for hearing loops), and nice colours. Sadly, I only got one of those things, and my audiologist is chasing down someone to ask if we can apply for new HAs already because we’re not meeting my goals for them—unfortunately, the colour thing isn’t gonna change though. I got white to make sure they’d be visible regardless of my hair colour, though I wanted this really nice light blue.Anyways, so they order the hearing aids, you come back a few weeks later, have another hearing test; this test determines the initial programming for your HAs, though they’ll be tuned here and there over the next few weeks depending on how well they’re working (or not) for you. This stage is the worst part of it, honestly.For me, I also had to go back and get my earpieces changed a few times because I don’t have the right kind of canals for soft tips, but I also don’t have the right kinds of canals for discrete moulds (plus, they’re uncomfy, imo), but it’ll heavily depend on your needs, the shape of your ears, etc.

I have visual acuity of 6/60 (20/200) + 1 I think; I can see, I just struggle to determine what the fuck I’m looking at unless it’s A) big, or B) I’m straining my eyes (bad for you!! don’t do this!!!). This is pretty common in blind / VI folx, as not every one of us can’t see anything; legal blindness and total blindness are different. I am legally blind (in Australia and the US, at least; not sure about other countries) and also have a near-vision classification of N18, which is moderate near vision impairment. I sometimes wear glasses to read, and it makes things a little clearer, but ultimately, it’s just more hassle than it’s worth to me, so I mostly just struggle and go without.With my distance vision, glasses stopped helping me a few years ago (I’ve been wearing them since I was ten), and I’ve been seeing optometrists a lot lately to keep an eye (ha) on it because it’s been getting worse, especially with floaters and little grey dots that occasionally pop into view; I’ve seen three in the last five or six months because of it. What optometrists can do is pretty limited overall, so at the most recent visit the optometrist just went “we can’t do anything, there’s no signs of retinal detachment or anything, you need someone with better tools”, so now I’ve been referred to the Royal Eye & Ear Hospital and am waiting to hear back from them.

Deafblindness also doesn’t follow the rules of legally blind.For someone to be Deafblind, it just means they’re VI and also Deaf; it’s dual sensory impairment, and how being deaf and VI intersect when it comes to interacting with the world around us. Not every Deafblind person is profoundly deaf and totally blind; it’s a huge misconception!So, no, needing glasses and being d/Deaf doesn’t make you Deafblind, but being visually impaired (”having decreased ability to see to a degree that causes problems not fixable by usual means, such as glasses”) and also d/Deaf does. It’s more of a cultural group than anything.Most commonly (afaik), Deafblind folx have Usher’s Syndrome, but not everyone does, and deafblindness can come from various things, both genetic and acquired; genetic stuff, of course, is luck of the draw. Having a connective tissue disorder did me no favours in keeping my sight—which was better than 20/20 when I was really little, by the way, so it’s interesting now thinking back about it. I’ve been losing my vision in “chunks” since I was about ten; not great, but it is what it is. I’m okay with it; I’m not afraid of it anymore, and that’s why I’m open about it now.

Now onto paralysis:Paralysis is a pretty broad term, and it doesn’t just mean “can’t move at all”, it can mean “can’t move well”, or “struggles with fine motor movement”, or plenty of other stuff; I have paralysis caused by spinal cord damage over the course of my life, as well as repeated herniated discs and spinal cysts, which has landed me in and out of hospital a lot in the last couple of years.For me, paralysis is I have hypertonia and struggle to move my legs, especially lifting them when I’m sitting or laying down; I had to talk to a neurosurgeon about this back in February and was told “if this gets worse you’re going to need spinal surgery” and proceeded to sweep that under the rug because let’s not deal with major surgery right now, thanks. I’m also now taking Lyrica to help manage the neuropathic pain I get from this; takes the edge off a little, so that’s nice.wrt my upper body, I have a lot of issues with trunk control and getting myself back up from leaning, especially to the back, as well as II also sometimes piss and shit myself because I often have moments of “wait, is this spine pain, or do I need to shit?” and just general struggles with holding it until I get to a bathroom (especially when I’m having to chase down security guards to get them to unlock the bathroom). Thankfully, it’s not an overly common occurrence, but it still sometimes is one.A lot of this is suspected to be caused by two bike accidents and someone (a kid) falling on me from two storeys up when I was nine, because I wasn’t the most self-aware child, but the rest is just chronic illness being a chronic illness and going “hey, remember me? I brought you more stuff!” (like the cyst).

Also, in case you want proof of anything:[ID: a pair of white hearing aids with red dragon stickers on them, connected to clear skeleton moulds, and sitting on a yellow cloth, inside a grey, vaguely egg-shaped box. Sitting on the bottom half of the box are two blue Post-It tabs reading “Go Fuck Yourself,” and “Anon”, respectively, in green marker.]

idk how you’d have me prove anything else, but this is a good starting point.

If you’d like to actually talk to me about this, I’m more than happy to, even if it’s from a throwaway blog, go ahead, I don’t mind, just please stop spreading harmful “gotcha” rhetoric; even if I was faking it, who’s the next “actually disabled” person whose disability supports get cut because of false accusations? Because it happens. People die from this sort of thing.

[thecleanstreets]

Anonymous:  If you could go back in time and change one event in the past, what would you change?

I’d boil the water for longer

I’d get the rehydration solution faster

I’d bring my dad back

I’m Biyani, Anonymous, what do you think?

***

[an ooc interlude, featuring content warnings for death, space!cholera and all that entails.]

There was a boiled water advisory.

Everyone knew what that really means. Luehmani was two, and she knew what that meant. Some red sabotaged a pipe before they all offed themselves, or some sod from Orvara who couldn’t find their ass with both hands screwed up.

“Language, honey,” her father said.

She pushed her toast around her plate. “Sorry, dad.”

“After school, we’re going to pick up some water from the store.”

No one drank tap water when there was a boiled water advisory.

They knew what it meant.

***

Luehmani pushed the trolley. She liked pushing trolleys. The trolley clattered along, and she felt strong as she pushed it forward and pulled it around corners. She liked feeling strong.

Bright yellow stickers covered the shelves around the water, covered the bottles themselves in some cases. “By Order of The Province Government, Bottled Water Rationing is In Effect. No More than 5 Litres of Water Per Customer.”

Her father bit his lip and thought. He made a very particular expression when he thought, staring at the ceiling like he was trying to count the tiles. He grabbed 5 bottles, and threw them in her cart. Along with some money. It was rather a lot of money, she thought. “You remember the way home?”

She nodded solemnly.

“Okay. You go up and buy these, and head straight back home. I’ll be back soon after,” he said, as he headed over to the trolleys. “I’ll pick some more water up for us.”

***

The supermarket let her borrow the trolley, after she promised to bring it right back. She swore up and down that she could carry the bottles herself, that she may only be two but she was strong—but she was glad they let her borrow the trolley. She really couldn’t carry that much water herself.

She trundled her trolley through the crowds, feeling the clatter of the pavement through the handle, walking on tiptoes to see over the handle.

The crowd weaved and flowed around her. Most other people seemed to be carrying bags, either full of water away from the store, or empty towards it.

A hand snaked through the crowd, and grabbed a bottle from her cart.

“Hey! Give that back you… meanie!”

She broke into as much run as she could pushing a trolley.

They’d already disappeared.

She couldn’t let them get away. Her family needed that water, they weren’t going to drink from the tap, not from the tap not from the tap. But she couldn’t see them. There was no way to catch them.

She slowed down. She walked home.

She returned the trolley to the store.

***

Her father was already home when she arrived back, placing bottles of water on the pantry shelf.

“Someone took a bottle of our water. I tried to catch up with them, but—“  

“You can’t always catch up to people,” her mother said.

“They probably needed it more,” her father said.

She made an incredulous face. “Really?”

“I have no idea, but it’s nicer to think that way. Makes you less annoyed at them.”

***

The corner store ran out of water that day. It ran out of soft drinks and juice a day later.

The big supermarket, the one that sat on the border between them and the purple neighbourhood, ran out three days later.

Stock came back in dribs and drabs. A pallet one day. A single bottle the next.

Her family were never quick enough (never rich enough, she later learned) to grab any.

***

When she was one, she and her father had staring competitions over whether she really really really had to eat her spinach. It always devolved into giggles. And her eating her spinach (good for rich blood!) They couldn’t take staring at each other seriously, especially if they were trying to make serious faces at each other.

She crossed her arms, and stared at her father, her expression as stern as she could make it.

A glass of water sat in front of her.

He didn’t look serious. He looked resigned.

It reminded her far too much of their old staring games.

“I’m not going to drink it,” she said. Her stomach curled into knots just being in the same room as it. She could feel it, even without touching it.

“You have to.”

“I’m really not going to drink it, dad.” The thought of it on her tongue, on her teeth, going inside of her—

“You have two choices.” His voice was flat. Monotone. Tired. Scared. “You can drink it now. It will feel terrible, it will be terrible, you won’t be clean. But you’ll live. Or you can not drink it. You die of dehydration. And then you’ll still be polluted.”

She put a hand around the glass, but she couldn’t will her hand to grasp it, to pick it up. (She was touching it she was actually touching it she could feel it on her hand this was ten times worse no no no NO NO NO.)

“Please.” His voice somehow got flatter. “I don’t want you to die.”

She closed her grip. Picked it up. Put it to her mouth. Swallowed.

It reminded her far too much of normal water.  

***

They drank boiled water.

They knew what that meant.

They filled the kettles up with tap water–they’d bought a second one, one wasn’t enough for all of them, and kettles were still cheap. Put it on the base plate, flip the switch. Flip the lid up, so it wouldn’t finish once it started to boil. Roiling boil, for one minute.

They lived like that for months. (They lived like for years – they just boiled the water for longer, after.)

Luehmani got used to the feel of the water. It was better than dying of dehydration.

***

There was an outbreak.

The official government line was that strange selection pressures had made the bacteria thermophilic, able to withstand being boiled.

The unofficial line was that the skyrocketing inflation and shrinking imports created a shortage of oral rehydration solution, turning an entirely manageable infection rate into a plague of pollution and death.

The official government line was to stay away from hospitals unless you were old, young, already ill. Stay at home, use oral rehydration solution. It was an effective management solution.

They were all, at some level, correct.

(Luehmani took a third line. It was, somehow, her fault.)

***

She made her father coffee. She enjoyed making it, even though she didn’t drink it. It made her feel helpful.

She filled the kettle. Turned it on, flipped the lid up. Watched the microwave clock for a minute to tick over.

Filled the cup with hot water, stirred in a spoonful of coffee mix, and handed it to her father.

He ruffled her hair affectionately. As he drank the water, she knew he knew where the water came from.

***

Luehmani could guess what the wet noises coming from the bathroom were. She wished she couldn’t. They were quite… unpleasant. “Should we take dad to the hospital?”

“Only the old and young can go,” Her mother said. She pressed money into Luehmani’s hands. “He needs oral rehydration solution. Or electrolyte powder, they’re more or less the same. Can you go and get that, while I stay here and look after him?”

She nodded solemnly, and raced out the door.

***

Luehmani ran up and down the aisles of the corner store, skidding along the linoleum. The shelves were almost empty, their bareness accentuated by the lone box of biscuits carelessly strewn among the laundry powder.

“You looking for electrolyte powder?”

Luehmani spun around, startled, to face the manager. She nodded.

“You’re the fourth person today. Sorry, we only got three packets from the warehouse.”

“That’s okay.” She sprinted out of the store.

“Stay safe, kiddo!”

Luehmani jogged in the direction of the big supermarket, the one near purple neighbourhood. They didn’t run out of things. Sure, they may not have a lot of whatever you needed, but they always had it.

It took her 10 minutes to get there. Her fringe plastered itself to her forehead, and she tried not pant as she rushed to the pharmaceutical aisle.

Someone was picking up the last box of rehydration powder. They were purple, sweating and pale and looking like they hadn’t sleep in a day.

It was rude to ask people to give you things they were trying buy, Luehmani knew that… but this was important. She had to ask. “Excuse me?” Her voice was quieter than she expected. “Do you need that? I wouldn’t want to take it if you’ve got someone sick at home—“

“My little sister.” They looked three.

“I’m sorry. You can have it.” Luehmani paused. “You should take really young people to the hospital.”

They smiled, but it was an un-smile. It was too tight, and only their mouth moved. “They’re already full.”

She scanned the aisles, trying to find someone to help her. Her dad needed this.

Someone restacked the shelves with soap.

“I know I shouldn’t ask this,” Luehmani said. “But I really have to know, my dad is sick. Do you know where the nearest supermarket is? Other than this one.”

They turned around, knelt down. They ended up shorter than her. “Catch the 22 train, ride it for five stops, and there’s a bigger store right outside the station.”

“Thank you so much!” She left, and paused outside the door. She counted her money.

She’d seen the stickers on the shelves. She couldn’t afford to catch the train and buy the rehydration powder.

She sprinted off in the direction the train went.

***

She ran and ran, until she couldn’t, until her jaw ached, until her legs fell from underneath her like boneless meat. She followed and followed the train line until she couldn’t, until it went into a tunnel and she couldn’t work out where it left it, until she’d gone in circles around a block and everyone’s directions spun her around more and more.

It took her a long time to find the store. She wasn’t entirely sure how long. An hour, hour and a half? (The train ride was 20 minutes.)

The store had rehydration solution. It had a shelf half full of it, with a choice of flavors. She nearly cried when she finds it, too tired to keep her emotions in.

She did cry when she saw how much it cost. Her dad needs it.

She picked it up in tears, the salt of her tears mixing with the salt of her tears. She waited in line in tears. People murmured behind her “What’s she crying about?” “Why isn’t anyone calming her down?” “What silly thing has got her so upset?” They quiet down when they see what’s clutched to her chest. They shuffled away a bit, too. The outbreak was common knowledge.

The cashier looked concerned, when she got to the head of the queue. “Are your parents around?”

“No, they’re at home.” She tried to use her big kid voice, tries not to sniffle and sob, but she couldn’t. She’s too tired. Too worried. “I know I don’t have enough money, but my dad is really sick.”

The cashier made a strange expression. (Luehmani learned to recognise it later, working as a cop. It’s the face people make when they decide whether to do the right thing, even if it would harm them. She cried again, when she learned that. That money must have hurt to give.) They dug in their pockets, and dropped a few coins in her hand. “Now you have enough.”

She paid, and headed as home as quickly as she could.

That was not fast. She was a tired, lost child, in an unfamiliar neighbourhood who’d already ran her heart out.

It took her longer to get home.

***

Luehmani looked it up when she was three. The knowing would burn her, but not as much as the lack of knowing.

Some part of her had to know if this was somehow her fault. (She’d been told a thousand times, by her mother, by teachers, by other students, that it wasn’t. But some part of her was deeply certain that it was.)

Most patients can survive six, twelve hours, without oral rehydration.

The unlucky ones only had one.

***

She half ran, half tiredly flailed into the family apartment. “I got the powder! I’m sorry I’m late, I wasn’t lollygagging, the corner store didn’t have any so I had to—“

Her mother put her hands on her shoulders. Luehmani could feel the calculation behind it, she learned to recognise it. “Can I touch this thing?” “Should I touch this thing?” “Is it worth it to touch this thing?” She tried to not to flinch away.

The bathroom was quiet.

Her mother didn’t speak at first, just stared at her blankly. “You did your best.”

Luehmani held out the packet. “Do you have the water ready? I’ve got the powder.”

She took it out of her hands, put it on the counter. “You did your best.”

“Doesn’t dad need it?”

There’s no calculation this time. She hugged Luehmani, hugged her like she’s trying to be armour. “I’m sorry. I checked and—and he doesn’t need it any more. I’m sorry.”

Luehmani screamed.  

***

It took a week for the body to be collected. There’s a backlog. There’s been a backlog for months.

It took another two weeks for their bathroom to be decontaminated.

They used their neighbour’s bathroom during that time.

Luehmani used it for another season.

***

She was four when she changed her mind. When the reds from Cene were transported in to the old districts, into Biyan.

It wasn’t her fault.

It was the reds’.

[nicolebradshawphotography]

Road Trip!! Part Five: Car Care and Maintenance

When I started doing my research for this trip, I found all the mommy blog posts on how to pack, and how to keep the kids entertained while in the car. They are some great resources too! There is tons of information on how to pack to make life easier, as well as plenty of car games, and how to get the kids to behave. Their lists and resources are all invaluable.

But, what I did notice was a significant lack of information on how to prepare and maintain your car before and during a road trip. I know a lot of us usually have a partner who could be termed a ‘gear-head’, but if you’re not that lucky because your partner knows less than you do (or, in my case, if your non-gear-head partner isn’t going with you), I’m gonna go over the basics you need to know here.

Engine Maintenance

The first thing to know about your engine is that you NEED to check your engine’s fluids. Yep. There’s fluid in there, and you’ve got to check it regularly. Hop on YouTube, and search your car’s make and model and then the phrase ‘how to check the fluids’. I guarantee you someone has made a video about how to do this very thing. The videos will also show you how to fill them if they’re low.

Next, make sure you get an oil change! Your car needs fresh oil in order to stay functional. If the oil is too old, or too low, your engine can seize up and stop working all together, and then, well, it’s cheaper to buy a new car. You can get your oil changed at a number of different places (including Walmart), and you should have it done every 3000 miles. So, on my upcoming trip, I’ll need to have it changed before we leave, halfway through, and when we get back, because it’s a 6000-mile-round-trip. Unless your car is already over 100,000 miles and you’re using a full synthetic oil, then you just need to change it before you leave.

You should also get your trusted mechanic to give your engine a tune-up. This involves your mechanic giving your engine a once-over to make sure everything is in working order, as well as changing out the spark plugs (they wear out) and all of the fuses (they wear out too). If something is wrong, it’s best to know now, so that you can have it repaired before you leave, rather than have it break somewhere along the way.

Tires and Brakes

Next to your engine these things are probably the most important thing on your car. If ANY of your tires do not pass the Penny Test (Take a penny, turn it upside down, and hold it in between the treads on your tires. If the top of Abraham Lincoln’s head is visible, it’s time for new tires.) it’s time for new tires. I highly recommend that you also have the tire store do a balance (it’s where they level your wheels) and alignment (it’s where they re-align all your tires and your steering wheel so they all match). It saves wear and tear on your new tires. You should also search YouTube for a tutorial on how to use a tire pressure gauge to check your tire pressure. There is a sticker on the inside frame of your driver’s door that tells you what the pressure should be for your car’s tires. If your tires are low, you can take your car to any gas station, car wash, or tire store and use (or have the store use) the air compressor to fix the problem. Beware, though that the air compressors at car washes and gas stations often require quarters (some take cards).

Brakes are just as important as your tires are, because if they’re going bad, you’re not gonna be able to stop very well at all, which leads to car accidents, and no one wants that. If your brakes are squealing when you use them, it’s time to change them. You’ll know the sound when you hear it. The easiest answer is to take the car to your mechanic and ask them to change your brakes for you. Always do them in pairs, at the very least! And, if the mechanic says you need your rotors machined/turned, give him/her the approval to do it. Your rotors are part of your braking system on your car, and you want your brakes to do their job to the best of their abilities.

You should also YouTube a video for your car to learn how to change the tire, and then practice doing so before you leave. Practice in areas that aren’t just your driveway! You won’t always be lucky enough to be on a flat, level surface doing this job. Be sure to double check your car for your tire iron and jack before you leave to make sure that they’re packed.

One smaller item that you’ll also want to check is your windshield wiper blades. If you can’t remember the last time you changed them, it’s time to change them. Places like Auto Zone, O’Reilly’s Auto Parts, and even Walmart carry wiper blades for all the common models of cars. Stop in, find a pair for your car, and replace them. They just clip into place, so anyone can do this job! If you’re not sure which set you need, most auto parts stores can look it up for you.

Insurance, Registration, and Driver’s Licenses

I know paperwork doesn’t seem like it belongs in a blog post about car maintenance on a road trip, but it does. You need to check and double check that your insurance and registration, and driver’s license are all up-to-date before you leave. You need to have updated copies printed so that you can take them with you. I recently checked my driver’s license and realized that it was set to expire about a week before we leave on our road trip. Can you imagine what could have happened if I got pulled over for any reason with an expired license? Personally, I don’t want to, so I got it renewed a couple weeks ago, and I’m waiting for it to come in the mail. I also know most of us have our insurance readily available in an app on our phone, but phones also tend to die right when we need them the most, so paper copies are always nice to have.

Tollways and Other Pay-to-Drive Roads

I recently learned that a lot of the highways in Florida are also toll roads, but that instead of being able to pay at each entrance, that they scan your license plate and send you a bill later. I certainly don’t want that, so I figured out how to sign up for their local transponder service called SunPass. I also plan on keeping change in the car to pay for toll roads in other states. It’s certainly something to think about, and to keep in mind while you’re traveling.

I certainly hope that this information fills some of the gaps about car maintenance before, during, and after a road trip! Your car needs to be taken care of so that you can get to where you’re going and back safely. It certainly needs to be high on your road trip priority list. I also hope it helps you to better understand what you need to check and do before you leave!

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

2018 Fun a Day 31/31: Headcanon that in summer of 1995, Haley Clark starts teaching herself how to cook

[CN: food, eating, feelings]

Cameron is there, waiting for Donna to come home for dinner and their nightly work date ('work'), when Haley goes into the kitchen and starts looking through the cabinets and drawers for various pots and pans and utensils. Walking from the dining room to the kitchen, Cameron asks, "Hey. What are you up to, squirt?"

"Do you know how to cook?" Haley asks. Cameron laughs in her face. "I can barely get a cheese egg to turn out right." Haley looks at her sideways. "What's a cheese egg?" Cameron sighs, "It's a breakfast for sad women who can't cook and are trying to drive away their husbands." Haley grins tentatively, "Not really a problem I have, at the moment."

"I wanna learn how to cook," Haley continues. "I mean I love pot stickers and bagel bites but it seems like a good skill to have, and like a cool thing to be able to do for someone else." Cameron reflexively raises an eyebrow and says, "Oh. So who are you trying to impress, then?" When Haley blushes furiously, Cameron immediately regrets making her uncomfortable. "No one," Haley mumbles, running into the pantry. Cameron smiles sympathetically, imagining Haley pining after some kindly, completely oblivious girl in her computer class.

"My dad was really into cooking," Haley says, putting some boxes of spaghetti and cans of tomato paste on the counter. "That's all we really have that I like, kind of know what to do with," she says. "I think he thought cooking was relaxing, and he liked cooking for us. I thought it might be nice to be able to cook for my mom, no one else does." Remembering Donna's reaction the last time Bos cooked for her, Cameron agrees, "Yeah, that would be nice. It's a nice thing to do for anyone you care about," Cameron encourages her.

The spaghetti and canned tomato paste, seasoned with only salt and pepper, are a little lackluster. "But you also didn't burn anything down, or break anything, so that's a win," Cameron says. "There's always tomorrow, you can try again." Frustrated, Haley gripes, "I need directions, or instructions. I looked online but I couldn't find much, I guess people aren't making cooking websites yet." Brow furrowed, Cameron muses, "I guess it would be kind of inconvenient, cooking from a computer. Unless you could print the recipe out. And then you might as well use a recipe you already have. Or a cookbook?"

When Haley can't find any of Donna's old cookbooks (they've been in the garage since Donna moved in back in 1989), she decides to go out and buy one. The following day, she and Cameron embark on a trip to a large bookstore. They get distracted by the magazine and bargain sections, and browse the science fiction and art books, and then finally look through the cooking section.

When a very pretty young woman who works at the store asks Haley if she needs help, Haley panics and laughs nervously and says she's just looking. Cameron is about to tease Haley gently when the employee asks, "How about you, how are you doing? Can I help you with anything?" and Cameron also gets very flustered. "Okay, well I'll be around if you need anything," the girl smiles, before leaving them to go check on other customers.

Haley finds a Southern home cooking cookbook and says, "I think my mom would like this." "Okay, what would you like to eat, though?" Cameron says. Haley thinks about it for a minute and says, "…Mexican food. No contest." They find a cookbook of Mexican and Central American recipes, and then Haley says, "Maybe one more, something like, more general."

The same bookstore employee overhears this as she's walking by, and interrupts and carefully pushes past them and grabs a large hardcover book off the shelf. "This. I promise it won't steer you wrong," she hands it to Haley with a smile. It's a copy of The Joy of Cooking, and it looks vaguely familiar to Haley, like something she might remember her mother looking at in Dallas. "Okay," she nods. "Perfect."

For the next few months, Haley uses her free evenings to attempt to make some of the more complicated dishes, and Cameron is usually there, sometimes she's busy working with Donna, and sometimes she's free to casually assist Haley

Despite her best efforts, Haley ruins a lot of food. She burns a lot of food, and even when it's technically edible, it's usually overcooked and underseasoned. A lot of takeout is ordered, a lot of tears are shed.

One night Donna is helping her scrub a pan that has burnt breadcrumbs stuck to it. "It's okay, monkey," she says. "It's a process, and it takes time to learn how to relax enough to enjoy it." "How do you enjoy trying to not kill people with your incompetence? What if I poison someone?" Haley frets. "That's really the trick," Donna grins at her, "you can't be afraid of it. You have to improvise and try new things as you go, and trust that it will be okay, even if it doesn't look great or like what you expected."

It gets easier after Haley gets into the habit of listening to Gordon's tapes before heading into the kitchen. His voice is soothing, and it's easy to imagine-slash-remember him talking about looking up from her computer one and a while in the kitchen, while making some elaborate meal for her and Joanie and Katie.

By Donna's next birthday, Haley starts to get the hang of it. When Donna gets home that night the table is set with her and Gordon's good china, which she hasn't seen since the early '80s when her parents gave it to them, expensive candlesticks that she bought herself (hashtagged: #independentliving), and flowers that Cameron ran out and bought right before the florist closed for the night.

When Haley serves her mom's famous salad, spaghetti, and veal parmesan, all made from scratch, Donna jokes, "And you're sure you two made this? This isn't a Mrs. Doubtfire type thing, is it?" She looks over at Cameron and says, "You didn't order this from a restaurant and then put it on our plates, did you?" Cameron, black jeans covered in flour and sweater stained with tomato paste, says, "…I resent that."

Donna isn't surprised when everything is delicious, she knows how much effort went into it, but she is caught off guard by how loved she feels that evening. She enjoys the showy dinner party that her friends come to that weekend, but it doesn't come close to how happy she felt just quietly having dinner with her daughter and her 'business' partner.