#I would literally fucking die for things to be this simple. I don't want the shame and worrying if it's good enough...

[caluski]

I'm ngl this is like. Dream life if I'm being honest.

[salsflore]

been almost 3 yrs and i am still struggling with the whole mikachi first meeting thing. bye

[preseriesdean]

if you don’t mind me asking, could you share some of your favorite fanfics or authors? thanks ❤️

oh hi hello!! yes of course!! i actually haven't read any spn fic in a while but i have spent a lot of time organizing my bookmarks. i'm going to assume that you meant samdean fic but i'll add a few non-samdean ones at the end.

authors!

@zmediaoutlet (deadlybride on ao3)

candle_beck (ao3)

@goshen-applecrumbledore (ao3)

whereupon (livejournal)

Linden (ao3)

sevenfists (ao3)

there are so many more great authors but these came to mind :)

fics!

i am going to list my forever-favorites first - the ones i would recommend to anyone and everyone, screaming-from-the-rooftops kind of love - and then many many more under the cut.

beloved by urchinesque (2016, 1.9k, NR, warning: death) It might be the gentlest thing that's ever happened to them.

in my opinion everyone should read this once. it's quick. they die. it's-- happy, somehow. beautiful. i think about it all the time.

Last Day on Earth by candle_beck (2009, 10.8k, E) A list of things to do if you only have one day to live, presented in inconvenient non-list form.

last year my best friend and i were pondering which fic felt quintessential to samdean for us and somehow settled on this one. i still agree with the choice.

Odysseus, American by coyotesuspect (2010, 10k, M) Dean finds Peter O'Toole's recording of the Odyssey in a bin marked “Audio" in Casa Grande's only used bookstore. The place smells like cigarette smoke and old books, and it reminds him of Sam. Stanford era.

my favorite stanford era fic. i think it captures dean's loneliness and desperation beautifully.

A man with his insides out and his outsides off by britomart_is (2016, 5.3k, E, time travel, underage) They say there are only two stories in the world: man goes on a journey, and stranger comes to town.

another fic i want everyone to read. it's so short and feels like a novel. sam is messed up and dean is in love and everything is miserable.

Breathing Hard by whereupon (2009, 9k, E) The day Dean figures it out.

this is so simple and yet-- everything to me. i can't think about dinosaurs without thinking about this fic, which doesn't tell you much, but you'll see. sometimes this is really all you need.

The Last Outpost of All That Is by gekizetsu (2008, 59k, E) The world ends while they’re asleep.

this fic has stayed with me my whole life. i thought about it even during my years away from spn and fandom entirely. they're alone and you don't know why and they build their life together and you end up wondering, is this hell or heaven? whenever i come across a screenshot of the last couple of paragraphs i want to cry.

see things so much clearer by deadlybride (2020, 11.7k, E) Sam's been acting oddly. Dean learns how to use the history on an internet browser and finds out why.

this is a fic that hits the spot for me personally so well. another favorite preseries fic. i love the idea of sam using livejournal, and of dean finding out this way.

Stay The Distance by lazy_daze (2011, 24k, E) Sam is dependent on Dean's touch and closeness after the wall falls - Dean's presence reminds him of why he chose to wake up, and keeps the memories at bay, allowing Sam to function.

i love enmeshment, and i love that here it's literal. i love that they're just sort of fine with it.

more fics below!

in absolutely no particular order whatsover. please check the warnings and tags on these before reading!

Recall by De_Nugis (2012, 6.3k, E) Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

Living in god's blind spot by applecrumbledore (2022, 25k, E) Of all the situations Dean didn’t need his dad to see him in, ‘getting off to being pushed around by a guy’ was in the top three. And ‘a guy’ was a massive glossing-over of reality. Any guy—any other guy—would be bad enough, but Sam was fucking cataclysmic.

Almost At Home by balefully (2008, 24.3k, E) Sam graduates from high school in early June in rural Tennessee. He and Dean start the summer with an all-nighter of celebration; the day after, while both fight hangovers, John calls to assign them their first hunt by themselves.

they said it was the fall of man by jukeboxhound (2016, 7.4k, M) Sam gets his soul back on a Monday.

When I Fall Asleep It Is Your Eyes That Close by britomart_is (2009, 1.9k, E) Post-Season Two. Sam is alive. Dean is happy.

Life As We Know It by sevenfists (2007, 13.7k, M, curtain fic) On the morning that Sam woke up, Dean ran five red lights on the way to the hospital, his half-empty coffee cup sloshing in the holder.

tied up like two ships by orphan_account (2014, 3.1k, E) Dean liked to hold hands.

Gospel Truth by Cerberuss (2020, 15.2k, E, case fic) ‘DOES YOUR BROTHER KNOW THAT YOU WANT HIM?’ Individually placed letters, bold and tinged brown with the weather. Sam can’t look away and he prays, dream dream dream.

Buy You A Mockingbird by candle_beck (2011, 10.3k, M, underage, outsider pov) A genuine horror story.

because you want to die for love by hathfrozen (2021, 27.3k, E) Sam and Dean settle into their Heaven—and into each other, too.

the constant vow by deadlybride (2022, 119k, E, fem dean-ish) They've just finished up a pretty standard job and are killing time in snowy Wisconsin when Dean wakes up no longer looking like Dean. That's just the start of their problems.

This Fortress Made of Us by mickeym (2009, 10.8k, E) Sam really didn't do very well without his brother. Coda for Mystery Spot.

State of Love and Trust/As I Busted Down the Pretext by cormallen (2010, 2.9k, M) When you know exactly what your brother's thinking, there are some chances you just don't take.

Quiet with the Rain by Linden (2014, 5.3k, T) Dean can spot an undercover cop at thirty paces, a hooker at twenty, and rims that will match his baby's at ten. But the fact that his little brother is in love with him—that, he can't see worth a damn.

have a cigar by deadlybride (2020, 5.6k, E) What happened with Andy and Ansem unsettles Sam. Dean doesn't seem worried.

Heart Shaped Balloon by winsive (2022, 18.5k, E, underage) Sam and Dad are fighting. No surprise, but it's the weekend before Valentine's Day and Dean isn't missing out on the chance to bang a cheerleader just to console his bratty little brother. He does bring back a heart shaped balloon for him, though. It's not supposed to be cursed.

Bare by gracerene (2022, 2.2k, T) Of all the things Dean hasn't done before, Sam never expected something as innocuous as skinny dipping to be on the list.

Speechless by candle_beck (2008, 11.2k, T, case fic) Dean loses his voice and their rapport is only moderately impaired.

Like It Was Yesterday by nomelon (2014, 4.9k, T, fem dean, amnesia) Sam can't remember a time when Dean wasn't there. Dean is always with him. Sam's whole life, there's never been anyone else.

Like a Ghost with Two Voices by Dyed_Red (2022, 46k, E) To cure Dean from the Mark of Cain, Sam has to let Dean, in all his demonic glory, possess him for 28 days. It goes about as well as expected.

Breathe You In (Choke You Down) by orphan_account (2021, 5.9k, E, pwp) Dean really likes the way Sam smells.

lost in yesterday by margaryes (2023, 1k, NR, john pov) John hasn’t seen his youngest son in 18 months.

Unraveling by Linden (2017, 855 words, E) No, he’d said, the first time Sammy had tried to kiss him, sixteen and half-drunk and stupidly beautiful, even though he’d wanted so badly to say yes.

pack up the moon by deathdreamt (2021, 5.9k, T, pre-slash) Sam storms back out from their room, his backpack on and his duffel hanging off his shoulder and isn’t it kind of tragic that his whole life fits in two bags. He looks suddenly much younger than he is, eyes shining. John is back at his guns, whiskey at his elbow, and Dean can hardly believe how rapidly his life is cracking down the centre.

Yesterday, minnesota by applecrumbledore (2022, 30k, E, case fic) Any initial awkwardness filtered away over a hundred miles of highway as Sam thumbed through the missing witch’s diary again. Some people had secret coke habits or secret second wives, and some people had passionate, pitch black, no-kissing sex with a family member every four to six months and never talked about it. You had to find ways to cope.

All Heartless Spectres, Happiness by orphan_account (2021, 5.6k, E) Lisa Braeden receives an email with the subject line, "You Deserve to Know." It contains a single video file and nothing else. (soulless sam)

The Palm Oasis by fictionallemons (2022, 12.3k, E, underage) John strands Dean and Sam at a middle-of-nowhere motel while he investigates possible demon omens in Arizona. The place is nothing to write home about, but at least it has a pool. Dean resolves to think of this as a vacation for him and his studious little brother, but when their money runs out sooner than expected, he considers turning tricks at a nearby truck stop so he can feed Sam.

Other Brothers by homo_pink (2020, 7k, M, underage, outsider pov) A callow boy can go from infancy to someone’s lover in the space of two wildflower summers.

Leader of the Pack by astolat (2007, 14.9k, E) Teaching old dogs new tricks.

Underground Wires by eggnogged (2012, 15.8k, E, fem sam, underage) It’s hard enough being a teenage girl even without all the extra crap: they move around all the time, her family is as far removed from normal as it’s possible to get, and she’s in love with her older brother. Sam has no control on any of it, she’s just trying to stay afloat.

Multitude of Sins by Linden (2015, 4.4k, T, outsider pov) Every now and again, Jim Murphy would look up from his altar and find the Winchester boys at the back of his church.

Like Arrows in the Hands of a Warrior by ADeedWithoutaName (2018, 10.3k, E, underage, dub con-ish, john pov) John Winchester loves his boys, and would take a bullet for either of them. He knows that he's doing it right, the way he's raising them, the things he's teaching them. Not every problem, however, has an easy answer. Like what to do after an incubus case in which their target got his pollen all over both of John's sons.

You Can't Lose What You Never Had by nigeltde (2016, 5.6k, E) You can't spend what you ain't got, and you can't lose what you ain't never had.

Flagstaff by Linden (2014, 7.3k, T, pre-slash, john pov) John tracked Sam down in Flagstaff, four days after he got home to find him gone.

I'll take my chance on a beautiful stranger by fleshflutter (2007, 3.8k, M, outsider pov) If Chase were a better friend, he might try to end the game now, before Brendan loses even more money. But if Brendan is a dick at Stanford, it’s nothing compared to how he is on break.

Cupid's Got A Gun by geckoholic (2012, 13.5k, E, non-con) Fuck-or-die, set in early S4. But they've been fucking for years, so that shouldn't be a problem, right? Wrong. Ever since hell, Dean's in no hurry to get that show on the road again.

Someone Else's Blood by sevenfists (2006, 6.7k, E) The first time, of course, was an accident. (pretend dating)

How Many Floors to Realize by lazy_daze (2009, 26k, E, swesson) AU from the end of It's A Terrible Life, in which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren't somewhat entertaining, right?

Worthless cartography by applecrumbledore (2022, 15.6k, E) Dean didn’t know what finally made him go for it. The djinn’s dream was a catalyst, but the call was coming from inside the house, and he’d been letting it ring for a very, very long time. (They get one night together right before Sam is taken to Cold Oak. Dean has to deal with that.)

The Space Between Sense and Memory by orphan_account (2021, 4.8k, T) There are a hundred unwritten rules on all the acceptable ways brothers should touch each other. There are hardly any ways at all to break them. Or; five times they follow the rules and one time they don’t.

Ions in the Ether by nigeltde (2019, 10.9k, E, case fic) When was the last time you trusted happy.

Crossed Wires by rivkat (2015, 10.9k, E) Dean thinks Sam is dead.

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena (2010, 23.7k, E, underage) Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn't get along with his distant, distracted father, he's figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he's a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who's taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Wear Him Lika a Habit by sevenfists (2008, 2.2k, M) Their first kiss isn't an accident. It's anticipated well in advance, discussed for weeks, argued over, second-guessed.

Amor Prohibido by phoenixflight (2020, 3k, M, underage) They spent the spring of Sam's sophomore year living in a shitty apartment south of San Antonio. Every Friday night the clearest channel played three hour marathons of a Spanish soap called La Casa del Corazón. There was a mutually understood truce about watching it, because the alternatives were infomercials or creepy kids’ cartoons that futzed into static every fifteen seconds.

Open Road by Mollyamory (2010, 2k, T) Sam's old enough to know what's good for him.

It's the Blueprint of Your Life by queenklu (2011, 38.4k, time travel) Sam jerks awake in the middle of the night and everything goes to hell. Well, not literally, though Dean is staring down the barrel of less than a year before his deal comes due. In the midst of dealing (or not dealing) with his impending death, a killer ghost ship, and Bela showing up out of the blue, Dean also has to figure out what’s going on in Sam’s head to make him so twitchy, why he’s suddenly breezing through this case while writing endless notes in a notebook he won’t let Dean see.

North of Wednesday by Mollyamory (2008, 3.5k, G) Sam's behind the wheel before he realizes he doesn't have the keys. Coda to Mystery Spot.

non-wincest fic.

dean/omc. We Drank a Thousand Times by glorious_spoon (2010, 43k, M, warning: death) They meet in a bar fight in North Carolina when Dean is nineteen, broke, and desperate, then again when a hunt brings the Winchesters into town a few years later. Neither one of them ever puts a name to it but every once in a while, through the years, Dean finds his way back.

dean/cas: terror & desire intertwined by rupertgayes (2022, 39k, M) Faced with Castiel suffering a fate worse than death, Dean makes the decision to let Cas use his body as a temporary vessel. All things considered, Dean thinks, it could have gone worse.

gen, sam&dean: what lasts by deadlybride (2021, 17.2k, M) Not long after they move into the bunker, Dean loses a leg. Most of a leg. After the hospital, Sam brings him home, and they figure out how to live with what remains.

gen, dean-centric: To Repair Broken Men by procrastin8or951 (2015, 3.1k, T) Dad and Sam keep fighting. Dean can't fix his family, so he fixes things around the crappy apartment they are staying in.

dean/michael: our hour came round at last by orphan_account (2015, 1.8k, NR, pwp) "I want to be inside you," says Michael, low and velvet and hungry and that really shouldn't turn Dean on but it does.

dean/lucifer, dean/cas: exploratory by sp8ce (2022, 4.9k, E, non-con) One night, Castiel proposes he and Dean have sex. Except it's a little more complicated than that.

dean/cas: for a healthy heart by Askance (2013, 2.4k, T) A strange black box appears in Castiel's bedroom one afternoon.

gen, sam&dean: charmer & gentle by Askance (2015, 3.7k, G, outsider pov) The afternoon girl calls them Big and Tall, the strangers who come in late every now and then, buying this or that. The night girl doesn't think those names fit quite right.

dean/cas, past sam/dean: whose wings, though tattered, shall carry me home by fleshflutter (2009, 2.2k, T) There is a breeze moving across the field. It stirs the long grass in lapping waves like the sea. Castiel runs his fingertips through it and remembers flying.

[evilminji]

You know? I kinda wonder...

In a Self Insert type scenario, in Star Wars?

They would be MUCH more open to listening to "buddy, a storm's comin'" type warnings. Their Cannon knowledge, even if spotty, would probably echo with the Force and draw its attention to them somewhat. Because they KNOW.

KNOW what is going to happen. Not guess. Not assume. KNOW. Like the Force does. And that? Coupled with their inherent strangeness? Would make them the oddly colored duck of the flock, as it were. Not Super Important... buuuut? Easy to spot.

One of the Force's Blorbos.

Just cause, really. Cause they look funny. The Force doesn't even have a plan for um! But they turned up, ate the Force's food, and look at their wittle faaaace~☆! So it's keeping them. You know... assuming they survive.

Which?

Brings me to my point?

Since they LISTEN? The Force probably chatters like a mofo. Since a Self Insert would be anxious and constantly ASKING for wisdom. For help. A friend. Guidance of any kind. The Force would be draped around them like a particularly pleased with itself shoulder cat. A hovering backseat driver.

Because you DO keep asking, after all.

It's like muscle memory. Building strength. Not... not GREAT, in all actuality? Because Self Insert is avoiding making their OWN choices, probably out of fear? But on the OTHER hand? Both of them KNOW that there is literally a Sith Master like... less then 5 minutes away from where they live. Constantly.

And they are a Youngling.

So???

At What Point?? Does the Force? Engage "Fuck it, we take our baby and run" protocols?

Just? FULL ON "you stop midway through making your dinner, turn off the soup, pick up your kids, leave the house, and NEVER LOOK BACK". Because? Yes. The Jedi KNIGHTS and MASTERS may have vows to try and protect the people of the Republic?

BUT THE YOUNGLINGS DO NOT.

They, in fact, need to be PROTECTED.

And if the Force itself? Says "if you stay here, they WILL die."? You gotta go. Hopefully? You have enough warning to like... pack a ship. But, ya might NOT. Might just be "aaaand, everybody put down your pads! Suprise field trip to Anywhere Else! IMMEDIATELY. Single file, younglings. No running!" Like?

What would you do?

I kinda wanna see it.

Just this somber, vaguely haunted, crechling walking up to import figures like Madam Nu and Yoda going "if I tell you The Force told me we have to take the younglings, ALL OF THEM, and any history we think is worth preserving, and LEAVE... would you listen? Or would you let us die here?" With their tiny lil face and to serious expression.

Like a prophet of Doom.

And WHERE? Exactly? Are they supposed to go? Oh, simple. They are to Trust In The Force. And let it guide them. Out IN THE UNKNOWN REGIONS of wild space! Because THATS fine! Is this a joke?

No.

No the youngling is dead serious. Terrifyingly serious. Has been studying how to pilot a shop like they will have to do so THEMSELF. Asking questions that paint a concerning portrait of a child that fully intends to take their peers on this journey, with or without them.

And the Force? The Force says they MUST. That it is impossibly important they DO.

WELL THEN....

Do they... TELL anybody?

No. Not a single soul. Specifically, not a single soul In The Senate. Ah. Concerning! Guess we're? "Losing" a ship in the war? Oh dear. Such casualties. All those lives. Oh noooooo, and such and so forth. UNRELATED note! It's been FAR too long since this temple was cleaned! Unacceptable. You, random clones definitely not assigned to that ship we definitely just lost! Help us... clean!

Just?

The power of "fuck it, we took our ball and went home/left"? Should be USED more in fics. The Force TOTALLY knows where some sweet, sweet habitable planets are. You'll NEVER fuckin find them if they don't want you too! An entire temple of Jedi asking for the SAME thing? Versus a crusty lil shit?

They asked first. And nicely!

With THIS, balance is maintained. Not through FORCE. But through walking away for a bit. Allowing OTHERS to decide if this is what THEY want for themselves. Order 66 may or may not still happen? But? At most? All you would kill is the current fighting adults. Not the teachers. Not the elders. And CERTAINLY not the young.

They? Are far away. Where the Force is still clear and the light is strong. Growing up. Reflecting on what went wrong. Farming. Building a new temple with the Clones. You know, the ones who didn't have their comms. Never GOT that dreaded order. Get to live free men on a peaceful planet.

Cause historically? You send your kids AWAY from active wars zones. Places that are priority targets for your enemies. And if the Force itself is saying "move the babies"? Welp! Guess you gotta move um, don't ya? It's scary. Uncertain.

But it is an act of faith.

And I just? Wanna see Sith's plans just COMPLETELY fuckin implode? Because they could not plan for Faith. For Trust and Community and Hope. All the things they believe so trite. So worthless. The very things that would lead grown adults, POWERFUL PEOPLE, to actually? LISTEN to a mere youngling. Then follow their lead.

It would be?

Inconceivable to them.

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @hypewinter @babbling-babull @hdgnj @starwarsblr @starwars

[junicult]

So... don't know if you have this in the works after your last post, but what would it be like with the bachelors going down on reader for the first time? If you're comfortable with it, that is. 👀

!! the bachelors going down on you for the first time

contains ; soooo much smut. i got so carried away mb y’all LOL. nsfw (minors pls dni.) fem!farmer. oral (f!receiving). praise. established & unestablished relationships. fwb!shane. sexual guiding. inexperienced!sebastian. implied height difference in alex’s.

harvey.

- haha.

- i love this man.

- he is so (i cannot stress this enough) so affectionate.

- absolutely infatuated with you and everything you do.

- as a doctor, he has a lot of people he spends time thinking about: but you are somehow always the main thing on his mind.

- like, tell this man that you did something so minor like stubbed your toe, and he’s carrying you around, forcing you bedridden so he can take care of you.

- well, maybe not to that extent but you get it. you’re the most important thing to him.

- so it’s no surprise that translates to sex as well.

- he only cares about your pleasure, and how you’re feeling.

- before you had sex, he was a nervous mess.

- he wanted it to be perfect :,)

- he didn’t wanna plan it ahead, just kinda hoped it’d all come naturally but surprise he spent the entirety of the day thinking about it.

- it was just supposed to be a fancy dinner date, yet he managed to find you underneath him in his neatly made bed, lips already swollen from his doing.

- “have i told you you’re the most gorgeous woman i’ve ever seen?” it’s corny, cheesy, but oh-so true.

- his fingertips feeling your thighs up your dress, burning into your skin.

- like i said, he’s been thinking about how this night would play out for days. he wants it to be perfect.

- what other way for it to be perfect then him going down on you?

- i’m just saying, harvey on his knees, wide, soft eyes looking up and you while his lips press against your thighs and his cheek rests against your knee.

- his fingers reaching up to slide underneath the waistband of your underwear, doing nothing but tug slightly.

- 😇

- “may i? please?” he nearly whispers.

- and the moment you nod, his lips turn into a soft smile like he’s been waiting forever for that simple gesture.

- he wants you to watch him comfortably, so he props a couple pillows against the headboard so you can look at him.

- loves when you get flustered and tries to hide your face.

- he pays so much attention to your clit. knows how stimulating it is, and especially when he sucks it just right and your hips twitch a little.

- deffffffinitely moans into your pussy 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

- & ruts against the bed lollllll

- uses his fingers too. he’s so slow, and careful, all the while his movements still make your head spin.

- “please don’t stop, ‘m so close,” you whine, eyebrows pinching, and you hardly even realize your fingers that ravel and tug on his soft brown hair.

- he’s shaking his head, as in a silent way to tell you “fuck, i’ll never stop,” as long as he can hear you moan like that longer.

- he’s SOOO EAGER.

- wraps one of his hands around yours while the other lightly presses into your stomach to keep you still.

- doesn’t even care that u nearly suffocate him when your thighs wrap around his head—if anything, he’s in heaven.

- can’t take his eyes off of u. he might just die from the sight of you alone.

- he has to catch his breath when you finally collapse, head lulling to the side.

- he’s literally so hard it hurts.

- pressing into your thigh when he comes up to kiss you make out with you.

- “y’taste so good, don’t you think? so sweet, can’t get enough.” “you’ll let me get some more, right? please? want you, need you so bad.”

sam.

- he’s blunt.

- just straight up.

- he’ll nonchalantly tell you if you have something in your teeth, and then pick it out for you.

- he’s the type to give you genuine input if you tried on a new outfit.

- like, “that looks amazing on you. turn around?” or “hm, it’d look better if it didn’t bunch up like that in the front.”

- zero shame. you know he’s not doing it to be rude, that’s just how he is.

- so, if he’s just lounging around at your house while you work, occasionally popping up to help you with easier tasks, expect him to be his same old self.

- and maybe even take you by surprise.

- you walk in during the evening, ready to change from your clothes and bathe after a long day.

- “hi baby,” he’s already smiling, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek and his hands wrapping around your waist.

- he doesn’t know what it is, maybe it’s the way your eyes were slightly lowered from tiredness, or the subtle earthy scent wafting off your body—but it made him much more excited to have you in his arms.

- “you always look so pretty when you finish work.” he sighs, his kisses pressing down the other side of your neck.

- “i do? please,” you snort, shaking your head to dismiss him like you always do.

- but this time, he wanted you to know for a fact just how gorgeous you are.

- “why do you never believe me when i compliment you?” he pouts, leaning to bury his face in your neck.

- it’s the way his soft gaze has your heart thumping a little quicker, and the slight tilt to his head makes your throat threaten to close.

- his lips wrap around yours before you can protest his comment, leaning into you to slightly dip your back over your bed until he’s dropping you both along the mattress carefully.

- “can i show you just how pretty you are? will you let me?”

- he can spend hours kissing you all over. if you have freckles or moles all around your skin, i can assure you he’s kissed every single one.

- i’d like to think that, despite him not being super experienced, he’s still a very loving guy.

- he doesn’t overthink, he’s very carefree, so if he wants to eat you out, he’s going to. obviously with your consent ofc.

- he may not be the best at it, but he does know a lot about you, and since he spends a lot of time with you, it’s easy to see what you like and what you don’t.

- he thinks ur cunt is so pretty. probably embarrasses you on accident by just staring at it LMFAOO

- he’s so gentle when he starts. pressing his hands into your inner thighs to keep them spread, and his tongue is the first to touch you.

- fingers your clit so he can really delve between your folds.

- “taste s’good,” he’ll moan into your cunt.

- btw he’s moaning just as much as you are, he can’t get enough.

- tell him what to do. he likes when you whisper, “just…keep doing that for a second,” or “wait move your hand ba—fuck, right there.”

- it makes him feel so good when he’s doing it right.

- another man who’ll rut against the bed, and may i be so bold as to say he might even cum just from eating you out?

- yes. yes i may.

- he’s so obedient too. i don’t think he has it in him to ever edge you, because he finds that he just can’t stop.

- will overstimulate you more then anything.

- when you cum, he’ll probably be panting just as much as you are. his breath against ur dripping cunt, making to shudder while you catch your own.

- cups your cheek to kiss you again, completely ignoring the fact that your slick is all over his lips.

- he’s in love.

- “thank you for being my girlfriend.” GNNNNN.

shane.

- tbh, y’all probably had sex before u even started dating.

- more then once, at that.

- some of which you were both tipsy after a friday night, coming back to your farm to fuck him in every room of your house.

- you guys were definitely fuckbuddies at first.

- he went down on you a few times during these stages.

- but, as a guy who was a little drunk, horny, and honestly just wanted to get his dick wet—it wasn’t the best he could do. just enough to warm you up.

- he was completely fine with your situation, until he started to realize he was actually falling for you.

- that he wanted to see you outside of just hooking up. he liked when you’d stop by on his way to work, talk to him for a minute. he’d actually look forward to it.

- so when he ended up on your couch again, arms laced and kiss marks already littering your neck, he knew he was going to make this time different.

- your dress rode up just under your bra, his lips sucking your skin down your stomach while you propped yourself against the armrest of the couch.

- he was quick to loop his fingers underneath your panties, tugging them down your legs.

- “someone’s eager,” you tease, having no clue that you’re absolutely right.

- he’s almost desperate. like he has to show you he’s better then what he’s done in the past.

- his arms latch onto your hips, teeth gently biting down on your inner thigh to hear you let out a brief squeal.

- “stay still f’me, okay?” he asks, his breath hitting against your cunt that makes your stomach flutter.

- it’s the way he delves between your thighs that has you stuttering a gasp, instantly ignoring his one request so he has to use minimal strength to force your hips still and thighs apart.

- his lips sucking onto your puffy clit, causing your stomach to clench and immediately squirm under his hold.

- you’re looking down at him like you’re baffled behind pinched eyebrows and jaw wide—which is exactly what he wanted.

- so much so, he can’t even hide his smirk as his tongue slides between your folds to taste you properly.

- “o-oh, fuck me,” you breathe, head hanging back.

- you’re squirming so much, and he’s not having it.

- “can’t you listen to me?” he almost groans, hardly pulling away for his words to become intelligible so the vibration against your clit has you arching your back.

- he’s so messy, uncaring about the slick that’s staining his cheeks and chin.

- loves when you hide your face, mainly because it makes his confidence boost, but he’ll fs call u out.

- “nuh-uh baby, eyes on me.”

- he’ll gently nip at your clit if you look away.

- and he’s teasing you so much, you can feel tears prickle in the corners of your eyes.

- he’ll edge you just so he can start all over, and then overstimulate you so you’ll never forget it.

- will literally leave you breathless, collapsed on your bed after cumming for what felt like hours.

- and he has the AUDACITY to ask, “what? that’s all you got? c’mon, you can give me one more…right?”

sebastian.

- spreading the inexperienced sebastian agenda one post at a time.

- he’s never gone down on anyone before. so genuinely, he has no idea what he’s doing.

- well, okay that’s a lie. he’s not an idiot.

- he knows how stimulating a woman’s clit is, and he knows where it is more importantly.

- but he’s never exactly had one directly in front of his face.

- he’s only ever seen pussy eating in porn, and that’s not the most reliable source. so he’s kind of just depending on you to help him out.

- don’t be shy, either. he wants to learn. he wants to make you feel good.

- his goal: to make you pass out, tbh.

- but baby steps first.

- you’ve already had sex many times before he even proposed the idea of going down on you.

- he’s fingered you before, but even then that’s still new.

- needless to say, you were taken off guard when he asks, “can i go down on you?” after a lazy evening.

- you’re both doing your own thing, with him on his computer and you cleaning some freshly harvested vegetables in the sink.

- “excuse me?” you laugh.

- until you realize he’s not kidding.

- “i wanna learn.” is all he says, before you’re grabbing his hand and guiding him to your bedroom.

- he’s gotten good at knowing how to kiss you, that enough has you warmed up pretty well. you didn’t even have to tell him to kiss his way down your neck, to your stomach before he’s spreading your thighs in front of him.

- he wants to start by fingering you, because he knows how to do that, plus he kinda wants to approach it confidently.

- like i once said. long, thin fingers. he also plays the keyboard…he’s skilled w his hands.

- rests his cheek on your thigh, watching the way his fingers disappear in and out of your wet cunt, and the occasional gasp you let out.

- “what do you want me to do?” almost breathless when he asks.

- when he feels bold enough, he subtly flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit, keeping his fingers moving inside of you while his eyes glance up.

- just the way your stomach clenched from that one simple action has him eager.

- wraps his lips around your clit and sucks.

- “s-shit, yeah, like that,” you weakly praise behind multiple stutters and pants.

- he can’t get enough of how your cunt squeezes around his fingers the more he does something your body appropriately reacts to.

- which he loves. it’s like you’re subconsciously telling him he’s doing so well.

- he never realized how much he loves when you tug on his hair until now, mainly because you unknowingly press him against your cunt so he has nothing better then to just lick.

- he doesn’t take his fingers out of you, but he does move them a little so he can finally get a taste of the entirety of you.

- whines.

- he’s practically drunk.

- wishes he wasn’t so nervous to do this beforehand, because fuck you feel so good on his tongue.

- “the prettiest pussy, tastes so fucking good,” he mumbles.

- you probably didn’t even hear him bc he made no effort to pull away.

- stuffs his fingers inside of you, curls them right when you’re about to cum.

- and when you do, he feels on top of the world.

- he’s never seen your body shake like that.

- and now he doesn’t wanna stop.

alex.

- omfffffg.

- he’s a sweetheart, through and through.

- so doting and adoring the longer you get to know him and be with him.

- it’s rare you’ll wake up to make breakfast, or make dinner without his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin resting on your head.

- and he’s a little clingy, but that’s just because he loves you so much.

- ur first time having sex w him was early in ur relationship. probably the same day you made it official i’m ngl.

- but he likely didn’t go down on you until a few times after.

- not because he didn’t want to, but lowkey giving or receiving head isn’t his favorite part of sex. as a man w a lot of stamina, he’s fucking you to fuck you. not just eat you out.

- which is why you were a little shocked when you felt his kisses move down your torso, his hands gliding against the sides of your waist as he moves down.

- he also wraps his arms around your thighs to hold you still,

- mainly to show off his muscles.

- oh yeah, he’s not wearing a shirt btw. he never does.

- kinda laughs when you express your nervousness about him going down on you.

- “relax, pretty. just trust me. i’ll stop if you want me to.”

- kisses your thighs, and once he finally takes off ur underwear he’s suchhh a tease.

- like, to the point where you’re dripping, impatiently rocking your hips into him.

- “what happened, baby? not scared anymore? what’s the matter, hmm?” “all needy and i haven’t even done anything, hah.”

- i hate him (affectionately.)

- once he finally touches you where you need him, he’s so fucking slow.

- eyes on you the whole time, his little snarky smirk on his face watching you nibble onto the back of your hand to muffle your moans.

- he waits a minute before he fingers you while licking your clit.

- he feels so fucking good when you give up on staying quiet, letting your back arch and nearly scream out a moan.

- he’s so quick with it, his nice, thick fingers knowing just where to curl inside of you.

- “cum for me, c’mon, know you can do it.” he pulls away to speak.

- he needs to watch you entirely when you cum, so he replaces his lips with his thumb while he rubs your clit and fingers you until you’re sobbing.

- “i know baby, i know. just let it out.”

- he doesn’t stop just yet, but he’ll slow down until you nearly force him away from overstimulation.

- makes u lick his fingers loooolllllll.

- and he’ll make out with you so hard while you’re still trying to catch your breath.

- side note, i feel like he enjoys putting you in lots of different positions. if you weren’t flexible before alex, then u sure as hell are now.

- …probably ate u out once with u sitting on his shoulders against the wall. i’m sayin.

elliot.

- alright now.

- do i even have to say it?

- HE’S A MUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!

- if u don’t think he’s eating u out the very first time u have sex then ur just lying to urself. there’s no way he’d miss this step.

- if you don’t want him to, that’s a different story. he wouldn’t even dream of pressuring you.

- but if you do…u better believe.

- he’s so gentle and sweet, first of all.

- holding your cheek, cupping your jaw while your lips move so graciously against one another’s.

- he’s absolutely kissing his way down, but he’s taking his time, letting you squirm underneath him.

- “you’re just so perfect darling, look so beautiful.”

- kisses ur clit <3

- he’s so slow and gentle, licking you softly and listening to your quiet gasps.

- he swoons when he can hear your breath hitch the moment he starts to pick up his movements.

- he’ll position your thighs on his shoulders and laces your fingers together.

- he’s super responsive. loves when you praise him / tell him you like what he’s doing.

- especially when you feel so good you can’t really speak, so you end up roping your fingers through his hair and tugging it into a loose bun.

- that’s enough to drive him crazy.

- “nngh, c-can’t, s’too much,” you whine, back arches and eyes squeezed shut.

- but your words mean nothing in contrast to the way your hands press against the back of his head, keeping his close.

- he doesn’t even need to use his fingers to make you cum. his tongue is so skilled.

- sucking ur clit like a pacifier 🫡

- he’s also very vocal. he usually coaxes you through sex using his words, but since he can’t while he’s eating u out, he’s just left to moaning uncontrollably.

- and he can’t get over the vibrations making your body shudder every time.

- he gets so excited when you’re close to cumming.

- how you just kind of go silent, jaw locked in aisle nt scream with an occasional whimper pushing through.

- and how you immediately exhale the moment you finish, body nearly collapsing.

- he’s not stopping lol.

- wants you literally shaking, your overstimulation short circuiting your brain so you just fall weak.

- “i’m so proud of you, my love. did so good for me, tastes so good. think you can do it again?”

[undying-love]

Paul being very secure about his sexuality: A compilation

"The reason why we didn’t do Up Against It wasn’t because it was too far out or anything. We didn’t do it because it was gay. We weren’t gay and really that was all there was to it. It was quite simple, really. Brian was gay…and so he and the gay crowd could appreciate it. Now, it wasn’t that we were anti-gay – just that we, The Beatles, weren’t gay."

“It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, ‘Hello, Paul, you’re looking nice today.’ I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my hunting of the female hordes. I think we all gave that impression."

Q:  You must be very secure with yourself.

Paul: I think it is that. I'm OK with gay people, too, because I'm essentially comfortable with my sexuality. I can goof around with gay people. I sort of know who I am by now.  And it's about time.

"I imagine he heard it [Dear Friend]. I think he listened to my records, but he never responded directly. That wasn't his way. We were guys; it wasn't like a boy and a girl. In those days you didn't release much emotion with each other."

"One thing he told us was that one in every four men is homosexual. So we looked at the group! One in every four! It literally meant one of us is gay. Oh, fucking hell, it’s not me, is it? We had a lot of soul-searching to do over that little one."

"There's a song I do called Here Today which is specifically written for John. That sometimes catches me out. I realise I'm telling this man that I love him and it's like I'm publicly declaring this in front of all these people I don't know. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing.

Q: In “Here Today”, you talk about your love for John. Did you ever say that to him, in those days?" Paul: No. I'm sure we both felt it. But that is not something two boys use to say to each other. If they were gay, maybe. Otherwise it is rare that that happens."

"My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don't call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, 'Shit, am I gay?' I like that you don't have control over it. But there is some control -- it is you dreaming, it is your mind it's all happening in."

"We were in New York before he [George] went to Los Angeles to die, and they were silly but important to me. And, I think, important to him. We were sitting there, and I was holding his hand, and it occurred to me — I’ve never told this — I don’t want to hold George’s hand. You don’t hold your mate’s hands. I mean, we didn’t anyway. "

"Yeah, I think he [John] did [love me], yeah. It wasn’t actually a spiky relationship at all. It was, uh, very warm, very close and very loving, I think. All The Beatles. We used to say, I think we were amongst the first sort of men to come out openly – and you remember, it was quite sort of strange in those days, we’re talking about a long time ago now when homosexuality was still sort of largely illegal."

"Because he [Robert Faser] was gay, it raised a few small-minded eyebrows, and funnily enough, one or two of them were from within the Beatles: ‘Hey, man, he’s gay, what you going off to Paris with him for? They’re gonna talk, you know. Tongues are going to wag.’ I said, ‘I know tongues are going to wag, but tough shit.’ I was secure about my sexuality. I always felt this is is fine. I can hang with whoever I want and it didn’t worry me. I mean, we didn’t share a room or anything."

"With Robert’s thing of course there would be gayness. But there was no open gayness. If there was to be gayness it would be a quiet phone call that Robert would go and take in the bedroom or something. That was one of the good things, actually, because I knew he was gay and he knew I wasn’t gay so we were quite safe in our own | sexuality. We could talk to each other. "

Lastly, there is this odd anecdote that may or may not mean anything, but here it is:

One of the strangest of these incidents came at the end of 1992 when Mark Featherstone-Witty attended the MPL Christmas lunch. Mark took an accountant friend to the meal, a McCartney fan he'd known for years, which led to a strange and unpleasant row. By Mark's recollection, Paul's manager Richard Ogden summoned him into the MPL office the next day where he read him the riot act for bringing an unwelcome guest to Paul's party. 'What do you mean by bringing someone who was so obviously gay to Paul's Christmas party? Have you any idea about the responsibility you carry in this project?' he allegedly asked. 'What are you talking about?' replied Featherstone-Witty, explaining who his friend was. 'But he was gay, you stupid fucker!' 'No, he isn't.' 'You've got to be careful. You can't do anything that would embarrass Paul...'"

Fab : An intimate Life of Paul McCartney by Howard Sounes

[dealingdreams]

The more I think about the decision to not move forward with a season two of the Acolyte the angrier I get. I truly believe this decision will bite Lucasfilm on the ass. It's an incredibly bad decision.

Cause listen it's not even entirely about the show itself. Do I in general think the show deserved a season two?? Yes, I adore the show, I adore Osha and Qimir...I'm so interested in seeing where there story goes...so for personal reasons I want a season two. However, it's not just about the show but the precedent this sets.

There is only so far nostalgia can get you. Lucasfilm can only eat it's own ass for so long before there is nothing left. Every current live action project in production or upcoming project, aside from skeleton crew, has a connection to a legacy character, has a character or characters previously established in a TV show or film, and/or has a character we've already seen die on screen. All of these projects including Skeleton Crew are set in roughly the same time period. We are talking about a galaxy far far away and we've barely been able to explore it.

Every recent project that as tried to do something new, tried to expand the universe, expand or re-canonize lore from legends, add new characters, more diversity, or give us a new perspective or point of view has been backtracked, retconed, or thrown away in the most disrespectful way possible.

I was raised with Star wars I want it to succeed but when it refused to standbye its projects, refuses to support or protect it's cast members, honestly I'll add in that they also don't protect fans trying to genuinely engage with their content in a positive way by not moderating their comment sections...what precedent does that set?

Because regardless of if this is Lucasfilms intention or not this decision feels like its catering to a rather loud horrid group of 'fans'. 'fans' who dont want star wars to succeed unless it's done in the way they want but the thing that is so batshit to me about that is obviously these people don't even fucking understand what Star Wars is about in the first place. Again got to make it clear this isn't directed at people that don't like the show and are normal about it, but directed at the people that are continuously harassing the cast but especially Amandla. People that are celebrating the cancellation. Everyone should have a story wars project that makes them feel represented. You aren't loosing anything by a show you don't like still existing it is literally as simple as not watching it.

And on a personal note...as someone who has loved this franchise, who loves the lore, and the universe what incentive to I have to continue engaging in their productions? All the stories I love are done...The Clone Wars, Rebels, Rogue One, The Last Jedi, and now The Acolyte are done...so what's left but cgi Luke Skywalker? I will be watching skeleton crew simply cause I'm concerned for those kids so would like to engage with it in an informed way but other than that me and star wars are probably gonna take another 4 year break.

[homicidal-sheep]

I will defend Eurylochus to my dying breath because what the fuck yall, he is not the malicious monster people are making him out to be?? Like these characters are so morally grey its not even funny.

I love Ody with all my heart but the man did fuck up. He is human, and a plaything of the Gods, which is a very dangerous position to be in at the best of times.

I've seen people saying Eury has no moral high ground on the Scylla thing because he wanted to leave all the men at Circe's. Now firstly, I highly doubt a simple scouting mission would include all the men (see Cyclops saga, when only a fraction went). So they would be running to save what men remained, not ditching the entire army. Secondly, what exactly did you want them to do when facing Circe? They didn't know Hermes was there. All they knew was there was a magic lady who could turn people into pigs. So what, were they gonna ask really really nicely? Somehow I highly doubt that would work. Without the Gods intervention, I just don't see them winning. Eury was cutting their losses because from his POV, there was quite literally nothing they could do for the men. Best case scenario they snuck the men/pigs out and, idk, kept them as pets??

As for the wind bag, yeah it was a really dumb decision. But Ody is the one who decided not to trust his men, especially Eury. Ody has already given up on the crew, and they likely feel that distrust. Why should they put their blind faith in a man who refuses to clue them in? Why should they believe that he has whats best for them in their hearts? Ody's own guilt caused him to embrace an ideology that got a bunch of them killed. (remember when he said the only one who's lines he hasn't crossed were his own?) And we can see some of this growing resentment in Perimedes cut song. We as viewers have context the men simply do not.

Sidenote, people say Eury would have gotten them lotus'd. Yeah maybe. or maybe Ody would have recognized the fruit before they ate it, like he did with Polites. We cannot know.

The other point I keep seeing, that I find absolutely baffling is "well they deserved to die for mutinying, they should have listened to their king and captain" I'm sorry when did we all become monarchists. Kings and captains can absolutely make bad decisions? We should not blindly trust authority?? Yeah Eury kept questioning the captain. He was second in command and the voice of the crew, not only is he voicing their discontent, I'd argue that a good king should have someone who is willing to disagree with them. While Ody is right, that in the middle of a dire situation isn't great, and it would have been better to address those issues in private, they are very legitimate worries. If your captain has admitted he would burn the world to see his son and wife, I think being a little worried is absolutely fair.

The Gods keep appearing and helping Ody but they are also incredibly dangerous beings who constantly play with the lives of mortals.

On to the cow thing. Ya it was fucking dumb. But I can understand why. The man is fucking tired. They don't see a way out and at that point, starving to death slowly, so desperately afraid, probably sounded like a terrifying fate. Better to get it over with.

And he still cares! Ody is his literal brother in law. They bandaged his wounds when they could have idk, sacrificed him to Posideon or something. What Ody did to them was 100% betrayal and I understand why they mutinied, with what information they had. For petes sake he kept singing "I need to get home", I, not we.

Again, I love Ody, but good lord, the man is the definition of an unreliable narrator. Let them all be complicated, tragic characters without labeling them as cookie cutter good guys and bad guys.

[yayll]

Could you maybe write smth up. About literally spoiling Dazai. Because i want to sit him down on the couch and kiss his pretty fucking face and buy him everything he even glances at.!! Hold his hand on walks, take him to like roooftops to stargaze and stuff and just stare at his PRETTY AHH FACE instead. Kiss his forehead goodnight!!! Cook him stuff and cuddle him and kiss him (again)!!!!....

Im lonely and past the point of no return sorry shdkhdkfjf

HIIII there, angel! i'm so sorry this took me a bit, but umm... i kind of went insane with this concept i read your ask and i immediately just blacked out because oh do i feel the same way about this god forsaken man.. and HEAVY on the spoiling. ahh, i hope it's to your liking, and i hope it makes u feel less lonely :') it was such a pleasure to write my first request xx

~ a little something about cherishing Dazai on days he needs it the most ~

Spoiling Dazai. Now there's something you can proudly admit to being happily guilty of. You couldn't count the times you've held him for hours after a terrible day at work, or made sure he had more than just canned crab and a few bottles of Sake. You'd do anything for him to be comfortable in his own skin, and you want to make sure he knows how much you adore him... that he knows he's allowed to take up space in the world too. You're also aware that he would rather die than to ever elaborate on the vague and dismissive little comments he makes about the debilitating weight of all of his past mistakes, the ones that make him resentful and tired when it really gets to him, but that never deters you.

You've put the pieces together long enough to understand that it's not easy being Osamu Dazai, no matter what silly mask he puts on for the world. He hasn't always been a good person, an exemplary man, and you're more than well aware of that. Still, he doesn't have to be the jester who's always entertaining the masses at his own expense.

You remind him that he isn't cursed forever, that he IS worthy of flesh and blood, and when you kiss him it's like you're absolving him of all sins... you make him new again. He is utterly bewitched by you and you feel it in the way he comes up behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder, squeezing your waist just enough to let you know your warmth is the reason his own blood circulates. Or when he whispers the most silliest and unhinged things in your ear late at night so you'll curl up those precious lips into a smile... Just for him. He gets off on the happiness he gives you, simple as that. He already feels he doesn't deserve to hold on to such a good life, but he's nothing if not defiant, and he'll squeeze out every little bit of love within that void of a heart for as long as you'll have him.

But... Today is your turn to love him so much it actually hurts, It's what he gets for being a menace 24/7! That is why you chose to make sure he has an extra special day today, by bringing him out of his comfort zone with a... mystery date!

"Oh? And to what do I owe the pleasure of being courted by such a beautiful creature such as yourself on this fine day?"

Dazai sips on his tea, eyes narrowing as they peer at you from the teacup curiously. You flash him a cheeky grin, already plotting your mission to make him so flustered he can't even look at you later.

"I thought we could go out somewhere and spend some time outside... Since we've both been so busy lately. Wouldn't that be nice?"

He raises a brow, and gives you a knowing smile back. Dazai's freakishly omnipotent in that way, and it's one of the many reasons you can never truly know if your surprises land or not.

"Mmm, it could be. Where to, my love?"

"... It's a secret."

He then pretends something has hit his chest, and he grips it, dramatically throwing himself back onto the chair causing his tea to flop about in the teacup.

"Oh my, is today the day you finally take me out and end it all?! I don't know if I can take the deceit, the absolute betrayal... What an occasion-"

You cut him off with your index finger as you place it right on his lips, zipped tight and his eyes burn into you, waiting for your next words. He eats this shit up.

"Shush! Let's go."

And with that, you grab your coats and zoom out and into the day. It's one of those days where It's cloudy, but the sun still peaks out just enough to send down warm rays of light. As you walk hand in hand, you see the way those very rays hit Dazai's side profile in the most devastating way.

You want to take a photo but you don't want to ruin the moment, so you quickly tip toe and peck him on the cheek, causing him to abruptly stop in his tracks. He blinks for a few seconds, still facing forward, and you swear you can see the highs of his cheeks turn red. You end up tugging him to follow you to the park, smiling to yourself in triumph as he recovers.

You walk to a quiet part, and plop yourselves down next to each other on the soft grass. Still holding hands, you rub your thumb in circles over his bandaged fingers, silently looking up at the cloudy sky. Finally, Dazai is the one to break the silence.

"Love used to always be an empty four letter word to me, but you..."

He pauses for a moment, swallowing hard as he tries to feign composure.

"... You are, by far, my greatest love, and my most beloved weakness altogether."

You were supposed to be the one to sweep him off his feet today, now your vision is blurry and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. You slowly sit up, and look down at him, noticing that his eyes are closed. He looks like a sleeping beauty. Your chest aches, and you wonder if this is the same type of ache he lives with on the daily. You murmur, studying the way his messy bangs frame his face, and his expression unreadable.

"That's not fair, Osamu..."

"You sound so pretty when you say it like that... Osamu."

You swallow hard, and curse him in your mind for being the man that he is. For being all you've ever yearned for. You look down at your watch, and check the time, heart beating wildly.

Thump, Thump, Thump.

"... It's fifteen till 5."

"Mm, why does that matter?" Dazai purrs as he squeezes your hand, eyes still closed.

"It always matters. Any time with you matters. You matter, Osamu."

You spend the rest of the evening nuzzled into one another, whispering secrets and trying to name constellations and giggling when you can't figure them out. He lets you kiss him silly, his eyes closed the entire time while you also toy with his hair and the nape of his neck; where you smooth over the soft fabric of his bandages and his skin, giving him goosebumps. Your touch is a sensory heaven. He's dreaming of you while awake. You'll always wake him up from the nightmares, from what cannot be undone.

When it gets too cold to stay out, you head back home and cook him whatever he asks for as he rests his chin on his palm, gazing at you with those unreadable dark eyes... always thinking too much. Always somewhere else. This time, however, you could tell he was present. He would eat sewage if you poured it for him with that loving manner of yours. You finally crawl into bed together, and Dazai cradles your face in between his hands, facing you. He mumbles, so soft.. so tender. It's a tone only you get to hear.

"It really is selfish of me to think I can have this and more."

"Desire isn't bad, Osamu."

"Mm, no, I suppose not. But it's not always wise to have desire, not for someone like me. I can't afford that."

You hear the genuine ache in his voice, and you lean in to kiss his forehead, a gentle kiss that stays planted for a few seconds before you pull back.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing, love?~" He whispers, his voice a little strained as he looks at you with those eyes, those beautiful and endless orbs of cosmic proportions that are going to consume you one day. Hopefully.

"I think so. I'm being selfish."

You smile faintly, and you proceed to make sure that you end the night the way he deserves, the way you wanted to spoil him.

[darthgloris]

hello to my beautiful mutual! first of all, congratulations on your milestone, you deserve it! your writing is literally everything to me.

i’m more than happy to participate in your event, so i was thinking the letter “k” (nsfw alphabet) for the arranged marriage au would be so fun.

- max :)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) - suitless!Vader, arranged marriage AU

A/N: hi @antxlss :DDD tysm for participating, I love the arranged marriage trope!!! I'm gonna presume u mean suitless!Vader, otherwise send me another ask and I'll write that for u too 🥰 btw I accidentally wrote a little about the letter I (= intimacy) of NFSW alphabet so I hope that's okay :)

When the Emperor told him he'd be marrying a woman he barely knew, Vader was certainly hesitant: the memory of his deceased wife Padmè, however remote, still lived in the back of his mind, and the grief that had grown to hatred was gradually taking over his heart, making his ability to love scarce.

He didn't know how to go about in this relationship, the patented blend of touch starvation and lack of experience with romantic intimacy had affected his attitude in the past decade. He refused to berate or beat the woman, no, that is beneath him, but he couldn't force himself to fall for her, and he didn't want to: as proven by his previous relationships, it was going to end at one point, and he'd once again find himself abandoned by the very person he loved.

He was, however, well aware that the purpose of the marriage was to give the Emperor an heir to fulfill the Rule of Two, and the thought of a woman giving him a child was somewhat enticing to him, but without intimacy, it seemed pointless to him. A simple way to describe it would be that he was expecting for things to be awkward.

After the two of you get married, they are, in fact, awkward.

You don't know exactly what to say to each other, every form of affection feels forced, the meetings with the Emperor were draining. But slowly, little by little, you start to see him for who he really is. He's no Sith, no stoic and unfeeling man: he's affectionate and loving and would very well die for those he loves. So when one day you choose to call him "Anakin" instead of "Vader", his vulnerable side peeks through for the first time in your relationship.

Over time, you begin to grow comfortable with each other, and whenever you have sex, he'd get more and more passionate every time. He'd usually focus almost only on your pleasure, eating you out until you cry, fingering just the right spot to make you scream, holding your hand while he fucked you, peppering your face with kisses when you were both done, then pulling out of you and cleaning you up. 'The treatment angels should get', he says. But when the baby fever comes, any trace of rational thought was out the window. Of course, the thought of filling you with his children makes the blood rush to his cock in an instant.

He can't wait to stuff you full of his cum and wake up next to you every morning and seeing your belly swelling and growing within the next nine months. He loves it when you ride him, he wants to be buried into you as deep as he can to increase the chance of conception. The mere idea of your round, swollen stomach and breasts heavy from maternal milk makes him grip your hips and fuck his cock deeper into you, slamming his hips up into your loose, begging hole. He swears he could cum from hearing your screams and sobs of pleasure alone.

"That's my girl, good momma."

"You handled those kids so well, maybe I should try and fuck one into you."

"There you go, angel, there you go. Full of my cock, full of my cum... can't wait till you're full of my babies."

[thefruitonyourfly]

Just read a comment under a magireco Madoka's magical girl sequence that said "now Madoka is a badass" and I was like HUH

Like did some of you watched episode 12 blindfolded and with ear plugs? Because I don't think you guys truly grasp the scope of what Madoka did that episode: The Incubator has been on earth for a MILLENNIUM, meaning that has been thousand of girls before Madoka who have tried to outsmart his system and met a terrible fate for their attempts, but only Madoka has been able to beat him, do you guys understand that? The smartest and strongest girls have tried, but something always thwarted their plans—be it their potential not being that high or Kyuubey twisting their words so it would be in his favor instead—But Madoka had something they didn't and it was her circumstances (Homura and the timeloops), Madoka knew her wish would come at a great sacrifice, but just like Homura said in Rebellion "She rose to the occasion" because she knew it was something only she could do; No one would ever have the perfect circumstances to make that wish like Madoka. So, she did it.

When Madoka made her wish and Kyuubey hesitated for the first time in the series because he understood the implication of it, Madoka said to him: "Now, grant my wish, Incubator." When Kriemhild Gretchen was born and Kyuubey thought he had the advantage back again because this witch could literally swallow a planet and Madoka killed her with one shot. Madoka won, essentially. Like her system isn't perfect, Kyuubey isn't dead, and there's still suffering, but it was the best wish for the magical girl kind as a whole, and all improvements are only possible by what Madoka did here. She played within the Incubator's system and rewrote it. She is the most powerful character in the whole franchise and arguably one of the most powerful characters in anime. "But didn't Homucifer defeated Madokami?" Well, sort of. Homura's win is, ironically, also due to extreme circumstances, only Homura could've done that and only within this one scenario: and even when she won it's heavily implied that if Madoka even has a slightly moment of deja vu it's over for her, she can't win against Madoka on fair terms so even Homura herself can't achieve that feat again. That's just how powerful Madoka is.

Do you guys understand that?

And here's the thing: my problem with that statement isn't even that I don't think magireco Madoka isn't as cool as Madokami, I think she's badass too. Is just like, I thought we all thought Madoka was cool as herself?? Like even without being a magical girl or a fucking godess, Madoka was cool as shit. When Madoka risked her own life to save the lives of her friends and strangers at the warehouse? She had no powers, no backup, and had just watched Mami die to a witch and yet she still followed Hitomi. But people only want to see Madoka's character as what the witch showed her afterwards, her own survivors guilt and perceived weakness and cowardice over wanting to live and not be a magical girl despite what she promised Mami, and yet the scene prior to this conflicts with this idea. Madoka not only can risk her life for others and save them when the need arises, but she already has. Even without being a magical girl. It's just who she is. This, to me, is one Madoka Magica's core strenght as a show that Madoka spent the majority of it being the most "powerless" in almost every scenario and yet she still tried her best to overcome things, even when it didn't work It was never worthless, if anything it proved her own strenght of character and without it she would've never gotten as powerful how she is today.

If Madoka hadn't been kind to Homura on her first day of school, if she hadn't done the simple act of reaching out to someone she thought was kind shy, none of this would've have happened. Her kindness did this, not any other power.

My favorite thing about Madoka's character arc is that Madoka starts as a very naive opmitimisc girl and with a somewhat sheltered view of of the world, then she goes throught horrors few can understand and while she could (understably) become bitter with the world and grow to despise it, Madoka comes of it realizing...she was right. Madoka has felt the pain the world could give her in her own skin, has literally died, and she now thinks Hope is needed more than ever. And it saddens me a lot when people don't understand how strong and cool she is because of that, to be hurt and choose to be kinder and more understanding to yourself and the world in return, because the world can be better we just can't give up...

Basically what I'm saying with this that if you don't like Kaname Madoka, fuck you—

[straykids-gives-me-life]

Dating Straykids (maknae line)

⩤ Han ⩥

han is definitely a clingy boyfriend.

not the annoying clingy, I mean the cute asf clingy.

the type to cuddle you whenever he pleases.

you could be in the studio, practice room, bedroom, kitchen, anywhere, and he will hug you.

he will plait your hair before you go to bed as he says tat he loves the 'frizzy curls' it makes.

"baby, will you tickle my back?"

back tickles are his ultimate fave.

he would literally pay you like 40 bucks to tickle his back.

he just loves the way your nails gently scratch against the skin.

despite all of this, he would have no issues with turning into the hardest dom you've ever seen.

calling you his little slut is one of his favourites.

⩤ Felix ⩥

felix's australian accent will literally send you into a spiral of emotions.

and he knows this.

and he teases you with his voice all. the. time.

everyone thinks that felix would be such an innocent, soft bf but I think he's secretly a devil.

this man knows how to make you feel a certain way and he will succeed.

"do you like my voice, angel?"

even though this is true, most of the time he will be a soft, affectionate bf.

that completely changes in the bedroom too just saying.

he will die if you compliment his freckles.

his face will go all red and he'll have the cheesiest grin on his face.

"stop, you're making me blush!"

with a hand in front of his face.

he's a sucker for small PDA.

things like pecks and hugs are still a definite if your out and about (unless the public still don't know).

he's your sunshine <3

⩤ Seungmin ⩥

this man is the most savage man on planet earth.

he will have full on roasting battles with you and don't think for one second that he'll go easy on you either.

if anything, being his gf means you'll get it worse.

he's savage during sex too but yk.

seungmin will tell everyone that he hates your cute little nicknames for him but then has an entire notes folder dedicated to exactly that.

his personal favourite is 'minnie'.

"ew that's so cringe"

^ if he says this... you've won. he loves it.

i don't think he'd be the most affectionate bf ever but he also wouldn't say no to a cuddle.

isn't the biggest fan of PDA.

the most he'd do in public is hold your hand or have his arm around either your shoulders or waist.

seungmin's forehead kisses >>>>

⩤ Jeongin ⩥

i want to say he'd be a cute innocent bf.

but we all know that isn't true.

i mean... have you seen his mirror pics???

daddy mode activated.

although he would be so cute sometimes.

he's definitely a sucker for snuggling up to you and having his head in the crook of your neck.

he'd leave little kisses there before he eventually falls asleep.

his favourite nickname you have for him is definitely 'innie'.

simple but effective.

your nicknames give him life.

especially when you moan them when he fucks your brains out.

he will be such a caring bf.

but he will ask his hyungs for help (mostly chan) when he thinks he's done something wrong or wants to ask you something but is too scared and doesn't know how to phrase it.

he loves u sm <3

A/N: feel free to send me a message to comment for any ideas for these or even the skz fake texts!!! I would rlly appreciate it, my asks are always open <3

[mintkookiess]

Miles Morales headcannons #7

How he would treat you when you're sick

Okay I know I have like reqs on pending, but I wanna be self-indulgent atm cause I have the shittiest case of colds rn but I finally have the energy to post something again, so here you go (๑>ᗜºั)

Love,

Mint

The moment you text Miles that you can't go to school cause you're sick, he's already out the classroom

It's quite common for him to skip classes to do Spiderman things, and often times he'd regret it. But when it comes to you? He's ready to drop em all in a heartbeat and would always think it was worth it

It doesn't even matter if it's just colds or cough or something simple, it always sends him in a state of panic and treats it like some life-threatening emergency

Let's go with the headcannon that he is very aware of the love interests of every Spiderman in almost every universe that doesn't really end well

So you best believe he's going to treat you with the utmost care and make sure that nothing every inconveniences you

He'd already be up into his suit and swinging into the drug store and supermarket

As I've mentioned, he deals with this things like you're about to die (you're not) so he grabs all the medicine he could find, even the ones that aren't exactly for whatever sickness you have

And because of this, you have a medicine box full of the many pills and such that he brings to you but weren't exactly needed at the moment (at least you got a lot of supplies right?)

He also buys you snacks, drinks, anything that would get you to eat since he knows people often don't eat when they're sick and he wants to make sure you're well fed and hydrated.

So he goes into your room with a bunch of bags in his hands, and if he sees that you aren't in bed (could be that you're making yourself food, or sitting on the couch or trying to do work despite being sick)????

"Please get in bed." "Miles, I'm fine! What are you—" "YOU'RE LITERALLY DYING JUST GET IN BED." "MILES oh my god—I'M NOT DYING."

Ever since he's become Spiderman, it's quite rare for him to get sick given the boost in his immune system from his powers. So he always ALWAYS confides in his mom but makes her think that you've got some critical illness every single goddamn time.

You have to reassure his mom that you weren't actually on the verge of passing away and that you're just not feeling well and need rest

There's no point in telling him to get back to class, he WILL spend the entire day tending to you and he won't let you do ANYTHING at all by yourself, and if you want to go somewhere around your place, he always has to hold you against him because he fears you might fall or trip or something. (This does not include going to the restroom, but he'd stand by the doorway)

Mans just worried and scared okay?

He also likes to feed you even if you're quite capable of doing so

"My baby is sick okay? Let me take care of you." "Miles, honey, I can eat on my own." "Just say aahh—" "Fucking hell..."

At this point, just let him do it.

Also, he loves to cuddle you up on your bed while you're sick and it's totally fine because he's Spiderman and he doesn't get sick even though you always tell him to scoot away or he'll get sick too (He gets sad when you do this and goes all pouty, pls don't)

Unfortunately for him, being Spiderman isn't guaranteed to keep him sick-free, so he does get your sickness too (if it's infectious)

"Miles... You got colds too?" "What no I don't." "I've been hearing you sneeze all morning, boy don't lie, I told you to stay away for a while." "Babe you know I can't do that."

Taglist: @ii01vp @laylasbunbunny @missusmorales @fiannee @faeriesberries

(If yall wanna be on the taglist feel free to let me know!)

More of my Miles content here babes!

[whenlostinthedarkness]

You, Me, & The Constellations

Masc!Reader x Ellie Williams

Summary: This fic is based off of this request. This is your typical 'two best friends who have been secretly pining for each other for almost their entire lives, but finally confront each other with their feelings' kind of fic. This is a mix of flufff and super slight angst.

Warning: Things get slightly heated at the end, but honestly no warnings (if you see any you think I should add feel free to tell me!).

Word Count: 6.2k

Ellie was a force to be reckoned with, you knew this much was true.

What you didn't know was how literal this definition of the auburn haired girl was.

She was brunt with her enemies, a ruthless killer when she needed to be, and didn't take shit from anyone, even if it was someone she loved. But what truly struck you was just how deep the metaphorical arrow was in your chest from the moment that you laid eyes on her. How she indeed was a force to be reckoned with, but more so in the sense of how much she would fill up your life with a love that you didn't think was possible.

Ellie and Joel were brought into Jackson when you were just a fourteen year old kid. The both of you were around the same age so naturally you were lumped together, along with all of the other kids your age, but Ellie... there was always something different about Ellie.

You weren't sure if it was because she was loud and always striking up a joke in the middle of the worst situations, or how she was always the one getting praised from your teachers and mentors who were showing you different combat techniques to perform while out on patrol. Or just the simple fact that neither of you were like the other girls in your age group..at least not the ones you were around.

"You should smile more Ellie, wouldn't want anyone to think you're a prude." "Why are you always sitting with your legs spread, we wouldn't want the boys getting the wrong impression would we?" "You two spend too much time together..you're going to give people the wrong idea."

You and Ellie would scoff at anyone trying to tell her to dress "nicer", whatever that even means in a zombie apocalypse. And you would rather die than ask a guy if he wanted to walk around Jackson with you or, god forbid, you were never putting a dress on your body.

Through the years there was a constant pull to her and you never really could pin point why. At the time of your youth, it was easy to narrow it down to this just being someone who was your best friend who you had literally grown up with. However, as adulthood crept in and that feeling never seemed to cease, you began to dive deeper into this intense love that you had for Ellie.

What you hadn't realized was Ellie had done this deep dive of her feelings for you years before. The moment the both of you were introduced, she was hiding the fact that she wanted to marvel over how beautiful you were. The more and more the both of you connected and grew in friendship, the romantic feelings Ellie held for you would too grow more and more.

Ellie was young back then, but she knew what love felt like, and that feeling never wavered, simply just grew.

She was smitten, but didn't say anything. Primarily because she didn't think you returned that feeling, at least not one in a romantic nature. But in the back of her mind, Ellie also questioned how the both of you could be so close for years and years and years-either of you literally joined at the hip, which didn't go unnoticed to the Jackson dwellers-and have this feeling be strictly platonic.

It didn't help that neither of you had a reason to leave the others side.

---

"My mom keeps wanting to me to ask this dude out."

Sixteen year old you and Ellie were both sat criss cross in the grass located in the park in the middle of Jackson. Ellie had previously been devouring an apple, until your words made her stop in a heap of panic that she tried to conceal.

"What?"

"You know that one guy..fuck, I don't even know his name...but yeah, my mom thinks me and him would be 'really good together." As you recited the exact words your mother said, you couldn't help but pinch your face in disgust at even the thought of hanging out with that boy or any boy in that way.

"I mean..what's so bad about him?" Ellie asked with a slight pleasure to her tone at the fact that you seemed quite literally disgusted at the thought of this guy and you being anything but acquaintances.

"He's just", You began with a sigh, "I don't know... I just don't see him like that or any guy really."

At that, Ellie felt her shoulders perk up as a tiny smirk appeared on her lips as she continued to chew on her apple. "So..you don't like guys?"

You shrugged, staring off into the blue sky as you joined Ellie in continuing to feast on your snack.

You'd never really thought about it like that..but Ellie was right. You'd never really felt that romance or other lovey dovey bull shit with a guy before.

"Who knows. Maybe I'm broken," you chuckled as your hand went to pull apart pieces of the green grass that had grown up from the ground.

"Nah, you're not broken.."

You looked up at Ellie as she spoke the kind words..or what you thought were kind.

"...just a dumbass."

Ellie had a shit eating grin on her face as you shoved her shoulder playfully with yours.

"Shut up El."

---

From that day on, you could never see Ellie the same again.

Why didn't you want to ask that guy out? Why did it make you feel literally disgusted at the concept of a simple date with that guy..or any guy really? Why did you not feel even a fraction of that disgust when wanting to hang out with Ellie? Or even more with Ellie..

It didn't take long for you to start noticing things about Ellie that you hadn't previously before..or rather, viewing them through a different lens.

You always took note of how Ellie dressed and the way it complimented her vibe. However, you never truly stopped to take in the way her thighs were full and muscular as they filled up the denim, the way how when her sleeves were rolled up they complimented her strong forearm and biceps.

Now, you had to stop yourself with silent scolding so you wouldn't physically stare and marvel at Ellie, the work of art displayed in front of you basically every day.

---

You and Ellie were both in your early twenties now. Both still single, both still joined at the hip, and both still silently pining after the other as if their life depended on it.

"So according to this book and my journal.." Ellie trailed off from the rant she had been on for what felt like an hour as you both sat in her home; Ellie sitting up straight on her couch and you laying down with your back flat and your head in her lap as you tried your best to focus on the tattered novel that sat in your hands.

It was proving unsuccessful as your attention would get caught up in any random words or expression Ellie would shout as she sifted through her book and journal that were full of nearly ripped out and stained pages from all of the use she got out of them through the years.

"Yes! Okay, according to my calculations in this book there should be a full moon tonight!"

Gently, you let out a giggle as you peered over the top of your book and up at your best friend, "How the fuck are you able to calculate that?"

With a smirk, Ellie continued shifting through the pages of her book, "Cause I'm just that good, that's why."

"Mhmm, sure you are."

In admiration, you watched as Ellie grabbed the pencil she had previously tucked behind her ear, and scribbled what you could only assume was some science astro-what have you that you wouldn't be able to understand, no matter how much Ellie tried to teach you.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you inquired about what Ellie had been talking about earlier if there was in fact a full moon tonight.

"Are you going up to that hill tonight then?

"Yeah," Ellie nodded, setting her book next to her, "You should come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me. It'll be fun..we could bring a blanket and just chill and shit"

In her twisted mind, Ellie was internally praying you'd say yes. Not that she mentioned the star gazing just to entice you to come or anything. It absolutely wasn't her trying to do something that was the tiniest bit romantic in nature thinking it would somehow sprinkle loves magic pixie dust, or whatever the fairytale bullshit was.

"I don't know Ellie."

Though your voice came out as dismissive and indecisive to Ellie's ears, your thoughts were spiraling in a tornado-like whirlwind. Anytime Ellie asked you to hang out, whether it be to grab dinner together or to sit on the couch next to each other doing individual things, much like you were doing now-it never failed to have a hum of electricity going through the veins that connected like tendrils to your heart.

Hell, it seemed like ever since you realized how desperately in love you were with her, at the ripe age of sixteen, it had always been like this.

"C'monnn," Ellie dragged out her words with a whine. "It'll be fun and chill. Plus! It's the perfect weather."

Ellie never needed to convince you to hang out with her. You would gladly give up going to one of those fancy award shows that played on tv before..the ones that people had parties for and dressed up and shit. Of course, that was all before the fungus overcame the worlds cause and, frankly, before you were even born, but that was besides the point. What mattered was nothing, and you meant absolutely nothing, would prevent you from turning down a chance to hang with the girl you were invisibly pining after.

Matching Ellie's prior actions, you set your book to rest on the lumpy cushion on the couch. Your eyes shifted and found Ellie peering down at you like a kid anxiously awaiting the answer they were hoping for.

"Alright, I'm down."

"Excellent!"

You and Ellie ran around her home, stuffing everything the both of you thought you might need for the evening into a beige stained cloth bag. Of course, Ellie was nearing three bags of stuff before you put your foot down and insisted that you actually didn't need to bring 3 different types of alcohol with you.

"What if we want mixed drinks or something?"

"Ellie, we are in the midst of a zombie fucking apocalypse and you're thinking about mixed drinks?"

You playfully bullied your best friend, making her laugh as she came to her senses.

"Fine. Just wine then?"

You nodded with a smile before grasping the top of the bottle that was being cradled in Ellie's palm and stuffing it into the one bag that you had somehow talked Ellie down to.

As the both of you made your way up the hill, about a 1/2 mile from the residential area of Jackson, the air was crisp as it blew through the fabric of your hoodie. One would compare this kind of weather to a fall night; not too cold, not too hot.

"I think I see it."

Fifteen minutes into your walk, Ellie lifted her lean neck to peak over the prairie land greenery and point towards the direction where the grass rose above its usual flat laying land.

"'s gotta be."

"Cmon then!"

Suddenly, Ellie was grabbing your hand and pulling you into a running speed towards the direction of the hill; it felt like it did when you were kids and getting yourselves in trouble for disappearing into uncharted areas.

Even though you had both put your lives in danger at some points during these child-like escapades, you'd never trade those adventures for anything, especially when they were had with the person you loved more than anything.

You hadn't stopped giggling the entire run up the hill until you were breathing heavily for air once you came to a halt as you hit the highest point of the grass covered mount. Even as you breathed rapidly to catch your breath after running at an incline, you couldn't take your eyes off of Ellie as she marveled at the expanse of land that usually wasn't in view from the flat plains she called home.

Now she was able to see the trees and plains for miles as they ran as far as she could see until they met the nearing dark sky. Your smile was massive watching this girl, this beautiful fucking girl, as she had a grin smeared across her face and her eyes devoured the beautiful land that she had found just for the two of you.

Ellie felt pride in herself for being successful in the planing of this adventure that she created with you in mind. So excited, she felt as if she was on some sort of upper as she spread her arms out in full wing span and began to twirl around slowly.

You laughed, watching her stumble and nearly trip as her feet quickly pivoted her body around in a circle. The wind in her hair moving it so much so, that it was covering half of her face when she did eventually stop.

"You're going to make yourself dizzy!" you squealed as you ran up to Ellie and wrapped your arms around her shoulder which caused the both of you to fall to the grass in a fit of laughter.

The weather, her arm around your shoulder, your head on her chest; what could be more euphoric than this? You didn't know and you didn't care to explore any other options of euphoria. Not when you had this.

Ellie lips traveled down to the top of your head as her arm drifted from your shoulder down to the keys that hung on a clip attached to a belt loop on your jeans.

You were much too busy enjoying this moment that you didn't' notice Ellie moving her fingers along the few keys on your carabiner..until you felt her finger push the silver part in, releasing the clip from its denim loop.

Ellie hung the keys above her head like a mobile above a babies crib. Her eyes fixating on something as if she were on a mission.

You knowingly smirked, "It's next to the silver key", you glided your finger against the tip of the key. Next to it, was a paper clip nearly rusted to the point of breaking in half, yet somehow still clung on.

Ellie smiled as she ran her finger acrossed it, but doing so gently. "You still have it."

You nodded, "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

Ellie felt a warmth spread over her as she continued examining the relic from your teenage hood together.

"You remember when I gave it to you right?'

You nodded as your front teeth gently chewed on your bottom lip, "After the fall dance."

Ellie smiled as her mind began to picture everything about that night - the warmth of the twinkling lights set up in the barn in Jackson, the amount of alcohol Ellie had in her system that night...the way your flannel hugged you just right and how she nearly had to stop her drunken self from grazing her hand along your waist and lingering for however long you'd let her.

Ellie let out a blushed chuckle as she looked over at you as you now laid parallel to one another. Her hand held your key as she outstretched it to you in a way that nearly mimicked the Sistine chapel. You copied Ellie, stretching your arm out with your palm facing to the sky as she dropped the cold keys in your hand.

After the interaction, the both of you turned your eyes towards the sky as the conversation continued.

"Remember how hard Jesse freaked out over Dina in a dress."

You shook your hide slightly with an amused grin, "Oh god, yeah."

"I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head."

"I'm pretty sure they did."

Ellie raised her eyebrows as she muttered, "true", but the nonchalant conversation was quickly turned into Ellie frantically moving into a sitting position as her eyes stayed transfixed on the fully dark sky.

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy-"

"What? What's wrong?!," you shot up, joining in on her sitting stance.

But Ellie didn't have time to answer you as she rose to her feet and quickly grabbed her notebook out of the cloth bag that you both had packed.

You observed Ellie as she looked like a mad scientist wracking through all of their materials, but really, Ellie was searching for her notes..all the preparation she did for this night in the hopes that it would somehow work this time. That she could somehow win you over. Finally.

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck you're on about?"

Ellie looked over her shoulder, her finger marking the page she was searching for, as she looked at your questioning gaze as you now stood directly behind her.

"Sorry..", Ellie really was embarrassed. She was always finding herself doing this..this impulsivity before thinking everything all the way through. "I just wanted to uh-I wanted to get the blanket and everything set up now that the stars are out!"

Your eyes were telling of your befuddled expression; you weren't buying it, but you also weren't going to call out your best friend either.

"Alright well..help me get the blanket flat on the ground then?"

Ellie nodded as the both of you took the water proofed material out of the bag and held each of the opposing ends until the material was lying flat on the cold grass.

"I brought the other blanket too. Figured we would get cold when the sun went down."

"You're always thinking of the shit I'd never remember."

"And the shit you would regret," you quirked with a hint of ego.

"Yeah, yeah", Ellie smirked as she watched you come to a seated position with the bottle of wine and battery operated lantern in your hand. She joined you soon after with her knees pulled upwards and her elbows resting on the tops of her knee caps. The both of you passing the bottle back and forth between conversation.

"You going to tell me what that freak out was all about?"

"Oh..uh yeah..I just thought it would be cool to show you where all of the constellations are and I have them written in my notebook so-"

"That's so fucking cute," you interrupted because you simply couldn't hold that one in even if god himself commanded you not to.

Ellie breathed a sigh of relief at your glowing expression. The last thing Ellie wanted you to think was that she was lame. It didn't matter that you had never made her feel like that in the entirety of your friendship..she was still so nervous about having you perceive her in a positive way.

You watched as redness overtook Ellie's cheeks as she flipped her notebook open to the page her finger had marked.

Was that a blush? No, Maybe her cheeks were always that red.

You shook off the thoughts from your observation as you lowered your back to rest along the blanket, Ellie following suit as she held her notebook above her head.

"So you know where like Saturn and all that other shit is?"

Ellie nodded, "I think so."

Her voice was deep in thought as she began a repetitive motion of holding her notebook up to the sky, lowering down the notebook to fact check her studies, and then back to holding her notebook up again until she was certain she could recite it by memory.

"Alright, you see those stars over there," Ellie said, leaning her head slightly more in towards you as her finger pointed to the left side of the sky.

Your shoulder and head naturally moved inwards toward Ellie as you looked in the direction of her point. The warmth of each others bodies now a very prominent reminder of just how close you both were laying next to one another.

"That's Aquarius,", Ellie's finger began drawing out the stars for you and every other one she pointed out after that. Always talking softly as she murmured little facts about them and you nodding as you hung on her every word.

She could have been going on for hours or it could've just been 30 mins....neither of you knew, neither of you cared.

Eventually, you both fell into a comfortable silence as you laid inches apart from one another and took in the night sky now that it was filled with all of the knowledge Ellie had pumped into you.

You breathed in...and out. Wagering in your head how you got here. How the hell did you manage to get so lucky to have this person next to you as your best friend and confidant...but yet, there was another feeling there too. One that was screaming at you nearly all hours of every fucking day. One that was begging you to entertain the thought of Ellie as your lover or to at least attempt to convey these feelings you had for her to Ellie.

But the hesitation was always stronger it seemed. Any time you felt yourself brave enough to finally fucking do something about it, at the last second, you chickened out.

You felt it, right now. This burning..aching feeling of how perfect this moment would be to say it. Say that you love her. Say that you'd wanted Ellie since you ever entertained the thought. Say everything you've wanted to say from the past few years and have them easily roll off your tongue...

"Have you ever had a crush on anyone?" The words came tumbling out of your mouth faster than your brain could sooner process what exactly you were saying.

Ellie was so taken aback, the wind literally fell out of her chest as her mouth hung open and her gaze remained on the galaxies.

"Like..a crush crush?"

Regardless of your nerves and regret, you couldn't help but chuckle. "Are there two types of crushes?"

Ellie's cheeks reddened at the obvious. "Ouch."

You rolled your head to the side, looking right at Ellie. "You know what I mean like...you like someone and want to kiss and stuff.."

"And stuff?" Ellie quirked, mimicking your head roll so your faces were both staring at each other.

"Shut the fuck up. God, I hate you."

Ellie smiled timidly as she shook her head very lightly, "No you don't"

"Alright," your sarcastic tone evident, "I don't hate you, but are you going to answer my question."

Ellie began digging her pointer finger into the cuticle on her thumb, nervously picking at the skin as she dove into her brain, trying to figure out what the fuck you were on about with a question like this.

"I mean..yeah."

Suddenly your playful smile fell, "When?"

God, Ellie had never felt such a gleaming, hot spotlight on her before. It was almost blinding, but more so in the mental sense. She couldn't find words; it was like her brain was paused as her lips moved, but no sound was coming out all the while her eyes moved along the pattern of the blanket you were both lying on.

You sensed Ellies hesitancy.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Ellie's eyes moved back up to yours. She gulped, her eyes moved down to your lips before she urgently brought them back to your eyes.

"No we can it's just..I don't know. We never talk about this stuff."

You nodded, "Yeah..guess I'm just curious."

"Curious about what?' Ellie asked with a pinched look to her face.

"What it feels like to like someone."

Ellie hadn't realized the large, deep breath she exhaled as she rolled back over to lay on her back.

How the hell was she going to get herself out of this question? Could see even do that?

"Why do you ask", Ellie settled in an attempt to somehow guide the conversation away from her spilling her entire heart to you.

It was your turn to mimic Ellie as you rested your back on the ground and brought one of your arms to rest under your head with eyes entranced on the lights in the sky.

"Don't try to change the subject on me."

"'M not!"

"Then tell me!"

"Fine”, Ellie's words came out quickly as she wracked her brain..but she came up with nothing. There was nothing that could guide this situation away, you were clear with your persistence on the matter.

Ellie was out of ideas and barriers from her feelings.

"It's like..", she began, trying to stifle her thoughts moving millions of miles per minute.

"It's heart stopping. One day you have no idea who this person is or that they even exist..but then, you see them and I mean really see them."

Her palms began to sweat, but Ellie didn't even notice. It was like her brain was running a race with no hopes of stopping. Now that she was talking about it, she knew if she stopped, she may never be able to do this again.

"Once you see them for everything they are and this feeling still doesn't go away. It's insane. It literally feels like you are on drugs because this person is just..", Ellie sighs, bring her hands up to rake along her tied back hair. "...this person is your everything. You can't stop thinking about them. Everything is them and they are everything. It's like your brain can't function properly without thinking about them or seeing them and It feels like somethings missing when they aren't around."

Ellie's passion in her tone caught you completely off guard as she spoke so poetically about something that you had never even known Ellie had felt before..she'd never mentioned it with you, which tugged at your heart strings slightly. Knowing that she had these profound feelings for a girl..it was strange and made you feel a pain that you'd never experienced before.

Was this jealousy? Knowing that Ellie was constantly being consumed by another who, you assumed, wasn't you..not to mention she hadn't even mentioned her fucking name to you. If you were being honest, those were only the foreground thoughts, what was really eating you up inside was that all of these things Ellie was describing were the exact way you felt about...her.

It was like a confirmation that you were indeed in love with your best friend and had been for...fuck, your entire life.

All you could manage to do was lay there, you didn't know what to say or how to respond. How can you move along this subject with the very person you were in love with?

Ellie felt a ting of embarrassment at her speech that had tumbled out of her mouth unexpectedly. She moved her pupils to watch you out of the corner of her eyes, curious of your silent and still form. "Did that answer your uh-your question,"

Your body remained still as you moved your pupils from one star to the next while you tried to gather words in response to Ellie..but now you felt bashful. You were the one who started this conversation, and now you were feeling as Ellie had moments ago. Mouth slightly moving with no words being vocalized; you were speechless.

"Hey."

Quickly, your eyes moved to Ellie who was now resting on her side with her arm bent while holding her up.

Startled, you blinked quickly as you rolled over on your side to face Ellie.

"Sorry..I got lost in thought I guess."

"What are you thinking about?"

Your eyes grew twice in size as you fixed your gaze on the exposed fern on your best friends arm..suddenly you felt the urge to brush your finger along the inked skin.

Ellie followed your gaze, moving her arm slightly more outwards so her hand was now grazing your shoulder.

Your mind went on autopilot, that's your only explanation for the way your pointer finger moved to brush along the warmth of Ellie's skin as you glided along each of the lines and bumps of scar tissue on her arm.

It was as if this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Sure, the both of you had hugged, rested on a floor together, sat next to each other- all of that, but this. This was intimate. It felt different. Like seeing a rare bird in the wild, Ellie was careful to not move as she watched the way your finger moved along her skin until it stopped moving, but still never left her skin.

"Ellie."

"Yeah?", she replied quickly. Suddenly, both of your eyes were on each others faces with a tension so thick it could cut through pure steel.

"I think I have a problem."

Ellie was confused, "What kind of problem?"

Fuck.

You outwardly sighed as you shook your head, feeling tears brimming at your waterline as you attempted your very best at pushing them away...but Ellie knows all of your little habits, especially when you're trying to push away tears out of frustration.

"Hey," Ellie's hand moved slowly as it came to cup your chin.

Her touch made you flinch slightly, until you realized you were safe.

Ellie was safe for you and had always been..you just hoped she would still be your safe person even after you confess the thing that was inevitably going to be said at some point.

And that 'some point' was tonight.

Ellie's eyes were sympathetic as she looked at you with a questioning expression, but she remained silent and waiting for you to speak when you felt comfortable.

"I think I like someone," you said between sniffles as you leaned the weight of your head into the palm of Ellie's hand.

Ashamed to be feeling such a way, Ellie shuttered at the the feeling of her heart shattering. Her first feeling was a jolt straight to her heart. She knew this would happen one day. You couldn't be her girl in her mind forever..it was always just a matter of time. Ellie just didn't think that time would happen tonight.

Regardless, Ellie was prepared to stick with you through it all. Through the crush, the puppy love, the full blown in love feeling-she would stick it out forever, even if it meant watching you with another who wasn't her. Ellie knew you were her forever and she would take you in any form..even if it killed her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ellie said those words, yet feared the answer.

Out of anger towards yourself, you let out a single sarcastic laugh as you wiped your other hand along your cheek to smear away the water that had begun falling down your cheek.

"What if..fuck." You mumbled the last curse word as your words began to shake with the anxiety you felt, but you persisted.

"What if I only feel that way with you?"

Surely Ellie misheard you..there's no fucking way.

"What?"

You rolled your eyes, tears now streaming down your face as you looked at your best friend in the eyes. What was there to hide now? You just laid it all out on the table.

"I like you Ellie."

That stabbing pain Ellie felt earlier was melting by the second and quickly being replaced by a warmth that spread through her entire body.

"Please say something," you pleaded, looking at Ellie like you were helpless because that's exactly how you felt.

You needed to know what you just said wasn't jeoparodzing the friendship that you cherished more than anything in the entire world.

"So..you like me?"

You nodded, but Ellie still wasn't convinced this wasn't a hallucination of some sort. She needed to hear you say it plain and clear with everything laid out.

"So everything I just said th-the heart stopping shit, the feeling like you’re on drugs. All of that is what you feel for me?"

You couldn't nod quicker if you tried; Ellie couldn't stop her smile from spreading across her face if her life depended on it.

"Maybe we're supposed to be together then,"

You watched as Ellies shoulders flexed up and down in a shrug motion. Something so nonchalant even though Ellie felt everything but that.

In pure awe and amazement and joy and..so many other fucking emotions, you just stared at Ellie with a glimmer to your eye that hadn't been there all night, fuck, or your entire life, until now.

"Pinch me."

"What?"

"Fucking pinch me. There's no way this is real."

Ellie let out a loud chuckle. "I'm not pinching you..", she said, moving her hand slightly so her thumb could caress your cheek.

"But this is real."

"Promise?", you said, holding your pinky up in the air which elicited a good smirk from Ellie.

"Promise."

The both of you crossed pinkies and remained there, enchained in one another, even as Ellie began to speak.

"I've loved you for so long...you have no idea."

You nodded, "I think I do have an idea actually."

Ellie looked at you with honest to god love in her eyes as she chewed on the inside of her cheek before speaking.

"How long?"

"Oh god."

"What?, Ellie said, amusement in her tone as you sat straight up.

You smirked as an idea came to mind, "You first."

"Oh, it's like that now?"

You hummed an mhmm as your hand inched closer to the tips of Ellie's fingers that lay flat on the ground.

"Since I was fourteen."

"No fucking way," you nearly shot up from your seated position in pure shock.

Ellie nodded, "It's always been you for me."

The words felt foreign to be saying out loud to you-the person Ellie had forever pinned over. But it felt good, so fucking good.

"This is crazy...." Your fingers were now fully intertwined with your best friends..except this time it wasn't friendly. It was love. It felt like fucking love.

"It is..I never thought-"

"You had no idea i liked you? Never?”, you interrupted to which Ellie responded with a shake of her head.

"No idea."

A comfortable silence took over the both of you for a minute or so as you both reveled in this new feeling. This relief of getting a massive weight off of your chest and, on top of that, having the weight not crush the beautiful friendship the both of you had. Now, the friendship was just starting to grow into its fullest form.

"What do we do now?", you spoke softly truly not knowing what to do with all of this-but in a good way.

Suddenly, Ellie moved her fingers out of the web you both had made. Confusion took over your face, but was quickly washed away as she moved her hand to your chin.

Ellie didn't say a word as she tilted your face upwards ever so slightly which lined up your lips perfectly. All that was left was to close the distance, which you didn't hesitate to do.

With urgency, your face moved inwards until you felt Ellie’s chapped lips against yours. It was like a magnet the way your mouths molded together in a crushing kiss that was full of so many emotions and memories and yearning that had been packed away in secret for years.

Your jean clad legs began to move as if it were instinct for you to seat yourself into Ellie’s lap, all the while your lips never detaching from one another.

Ellie’s hands were nearly frantic as she gripped onto your belt loops and enlaced her thumbs with the denim fabric. Your combat boots dug into the blanket covered ground as both of your lips now moved furiously against one another as the both of you made up for lost time.

Soon, your hands were moving Ellie’s jacket off of her shoulders, followed by Ellie unbutton the top button on your flannel until you stopped her.

“Ellie, hold on”, you spoke with a laughter In between each word.

Ellie pulled away with a heaving chest, letting her hands drop to the tops of your thighs as you remained in her lap.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I just-“

“Heat of the moment. You’re totally fine. I felt it too”, you interrupted with a knowing smile.

You both shared a look of content smiles as you took in the others face. Ellie and her swollen lips, you and your hair now out of place as some front strands were pressed against your forehead. The both of you were the sight of repressed love that was now finally coming to fruition.

Like earlier in the evening, Ellie’s hands found themselves playing with the keys sat on the hook looped around your belt loop, except this time…you were hers and she was yours.

Nothing would ever be the same after this.

[positivelybeastly]

Beast and Dark Beast

The thing that gets me about the 'Dark Beast is just who Hank is given time' thing I see thrown around every now and then is that it fundamentally misunderstands literal decades age characterisation and the entire narrative point of the evil doppelgänger.

Like, I genuinely think that anyone who writes these characters almost has to be sat down and made to read X-Men Unlimited vol. 1 #10, and that's not an exaggeration, because Dark Beast is NOT Hank if he was evil. What he is, is something more subtle and interesting than that. He is Hank if his socialisation was completely different, and that's a fundamentally different thing.

He grew up in an aggressively social Darwinist society that was obsessed with genetic purity, the superiority of mutantkind, the codification of the idea that some people are just better because of their genes. Literally everyone in that world is different, because how in god's name would they stay the same?

On some level, Dark Beast is aware that his world is fundamentally cruel and without faith and optimism and belief and love. It's a fucking hellpit. It's the worst possible world. And he knows that. He knows, on some level, that there was a time where he wasn't like how he was, that there was a time where he did have faith. He is, on some level, aware that this is not all he could be.

But he also believes that this is all he can be, because to be anything else is to be weak, and thus you get your teeth kicked in and you get your lunch money taken away and you get shanked in the head.

Like, this sequence is so fascinating because this murder is meaningless except as performance - and performance for a world that Dark Beast isn't even in anymore! It's empty.

Someone has to die - why? Because that's just the way the world is. Because if someone doesn't have to die, then my entire worldview is meaningless, I could have made different choices, swam upstream, maybe died as a result, but at least I wouldn't have done all that. Because if someone doesn't have to die, then everything I did was actually just straight up evil and I have to start worrying about morality, and that feels bad. That makes me feel weak and unhappy and angry and ashamed and I don't like that.

If someone doesn't have to die, then I could have made different choices. And I don't like the idea that I made the wrong ones.

Morality is subjective. Science is absolute. I don't have to think about it. Like, Dark Beast criticises Hank for this, but it gets at why Dark Beast has never been half the scientist Hank is, never will be half the scientist Hank is.

Because he is fundamentally incurious. He's asking questions, but they're not the right questions if you ever want to get an answer that fucking means anything.

He'll never be the scientist you are, huh?

Go ahead, loser. Fucking solve it. Best guess.

Oh, you don't have a fucking clue? I'm shocked.

There's a reason that Isaac Newton said that, "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Collaboration, peer review, question, counter-question, interrogation, inquiry, the simple act of asking, hey, what if all of this is completely wrong and we're looking in the wrong place? All of this is what science actually is.

It is not the act of pinioning flesh open and poking at what falls out. That's butchery, and it's hackery. There's a reason that pretty much all of the medical research conducted by the Nazis has been discredited, because it's bad science on top of being completely morally abhorrent! You don't learn anything through brutality! You only reinforce your own brutality! You go looking for answers, and you find them, because anything that disagrees with your preconceived notions, you ignore!

And Hank is not like that. It's no coincidence that the exact same issue that dives into Dark Beast's psychology has this scene in it.

And it's just. This is not an aberration in Hank's writing. This is how he's hard coded. This is who he is.

Choice.

Hank was given a choice. Dark Beast wasn't. And the difference between them is that, when given further choices, Hank continued to recognise that he had choices, while Dark Beast refused to admit that he had ever had a choice.

The point. Of the evil twin. Of the doppelganger. Of the shadow. Is to examine what changes, and what doesn't. There is a reason that Dark Beast was chosen to survive the Age of Apocalypse, and persist 30 years past the point where his timeline was truly relevant. There is a reason that he was chosen over AoA Cyclops, or AoA Wolverine, or AoA Jean Grey, or any of them, to come over, and persist, and survive. There is a reason he keeps coming back to life. He has died twice, and come back, for a reason.

Because he is interesting. Because he's fun. Because he's everything that Hank is, twisted one hundred and eighty degrees and made frightening. Because he is such a contrast to Hank. And it's just. It's such a betrayal of long form storytelling and narrative techniques to take one look at the good twin, and go, what if they were secretly always evil, actually? What if the evil twin was actually just foreshadowing?

It's fucking boring.

Evil Hank is 'we have Dark Beast at home.' Evil Hank is dull, and boring, and an edgelord's idea of a mad scientist. He is not curious, he is not funny, he is not interesting. His entire ethos can be summed up in one sentence, the ends justify the means, and that's it. There's nothing more to him. He's a joke of a character. Can you write anything substantive about that version of character that isn't just a summary of his bad choices? No, you can't, because he's a collection of shitty tropes and badly researched continuity pulls. There's no point talking about him.

What happens if you put evil Hank in this situation?

Like, legitimately. If you put X-Force Beast in this situation, is there any real question as to what he'll do? No. And that is boring. It is, quite literally, actually, factually, in the most basic definition of the word, predictable.

This is the single most intriguing panel that Dark Beast has ever been in, because I genuinely don't know what he's thinking. I don't know what he's going to do. Because I don't think he knows what he's thinking, or what he's going to do. He's overwhelmed. He's emotional. He's possessed by something, but he doesn't have words for it. It's not absolute, it's subjective. It doesn't make sense. It's illogical. Irrational. It infuriates him. It fascinates me.

That, is the narrative point of the evil doppelganger. To put a version of a character you know in a situation where you know what the good version would do, and see what they would do. To see what changes, and what doesn't. So that you can be surprised at what is the same and what is different.

Saying, well, actually, they've always been exactly the same person, is fucking stupid. It betrays a belief in, fuckin', in fuckin' genetic essentialism! That all we ever are is a product of our genes and that we're never destined to be anything than what a string in our genes says we are. And it completely misunderstands why Dark Beast is the way that he is!

Dark Beast did not come into the world a monster. The world he lived in made him a monster. If you want to say that Hank is Dark Beast, just given time, then what the fuck are you saying about the world that mutants live in? That the X-Men have created? About Earth-616?

Do you really want to imply that the Marvel Universe is such a fucking hellscape for mutants that it literally has the exact same effect on Hank McCoy as the Age of fucking Apocalypse? Because why in the fuck should I even read about the X-Men, if that's what they've managed to accomplish in their 60 years of publication? What great fuckin' heroes.

Like, just. What actually happens to Hank, given time? What's more common for him to experience? Across the multiverse?

Mutation.

Misery.

Betrayal.

Death.

Seriously, go back and read old What If comics, and you'll notice that almost any time that things go bad for the X-Men, Beast dies, almost immediately, because it's an immediate sign that things have gone wrong. It is way more common for Hank to be the one who suffers rather than inflicting suffering, canonically. Just because Dark Beast is the only one people know about doesn't mean that he's the only one who exists.

Dark Beast is not an inevitability. He's an eventuality. He's a case study in nature vs. nurture. He's the worst case scenario. He's the shadow cast by Hank's light. There's a reason Hank persists, even damaged by bad writing as he is - because he's worth reading about.

Because he's interesting. Because, despite being 61 years old, there are still stories worth telling about him.

Because fundamentally, funny blue man who looks like a monster but is actually a good guy, is a better concept than, blue monster man that is evil and only evil. And the fact that people don't seem to grasp that idea in 2024 is. Baffling, to me. The fact that people would rather the boring answer, because it appeals to the edgelord in them, just makes me want to roll my goddamn eyes.

Bleh. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Ask for better, more complex stories, please.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 32

chapter 51:

1. remus misses sirius and honestly they can make a person feel so fucking single, jesus christ

2. i like how remus is like “reg is james’…. boyfreind????? fiancé????? it would feel too disrespectful to ask atp”

3. “You can love Regulus, or anyone, so much you break the fucking scale, but…some people just don't know how to love themselves, and they have to learn that.” FUCKING PREACH REMUS

4. god, james is talking about how regulus thinks he doesn’t know how to love, when in reality, he loves so hard that he’s willing to die. and AHHHHH

5. 🧍🏻evan jumpscare

6. remus and james friendship >>>>>>>>>>>>

7. petition to reunite lily and remus

8. “Without a word of warning, [Pandora] brings Remus' hand to her mouth to press a quick, gentle kiss to the back of his fingers, then does the same thing to James. Remus feels his ears go hot, because he knows what that means, a Hallow gesture for deep admiration. No ones ever done that to him before, so he's a bit flustered by it, admittedly”

AWWWWW

9. “James, in love with a death eater. Who would have thought?” reading this line feels like such a jump scare. i’m the image of one of those really scared cats where their hair and tail is spiky

10. i’m honestly hoping that everyone can just make it to lily’s rescue. like plsss nobody else die. i love you all

11. “Sirius is currently complaining about the fact that he can't see the moon at night, tipping his head back and boldly requesting McGonagall personally to hang it in the sky just for him.” LMAOOO SIRIUS YOURE SO FUNNY AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

12. “”He's my best friend," Sirius announces slowly, like Regulus is an idiot who can't understand basic concepts.

Regulus arches an eyebrow. "He's my fiancé."”

LMAOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY reg just took the words fiancé and fucking RAN with it

13. AWWW i love how excited sirius is for reg that he’s engaged to james!! he loves his brother so much!!

14. “Regulus huffs and rolls his eyes to the sky, literally begging for patience. "I said: would you marry me? He said: yes. Very simple. Asked, answered, engaged."

"You—" Sirius abruptly starts giggling, and Regulus stares at him blankly. "Oh, Regulus. Regulus. That's not—it's—okay, so you do realize that agreeing that you would get married is not the same as agreeing to get married, yeah?"

"No, I'm pretty sure they're the same," Regulus replies.”

i’m CACKLING

15. “Regulus bursts out. "I want you to keep being an idiot until you're old and ugly, and I want you to come to my fucking wedding!"” ☺️☺️ siblings

16. “"First of all, I would be old and beautiful," Sirius states firmly, holding up a finger. "I am going to be sexy until the day I die, even if I could live until a hundred. Second of all, I will be at the wedding. In spirit. Have it at night under my star. Or just—I don't know, slap a picture of me on a chair and—"”

😭😭😭 he knows he’s gonna be a hot old man. me also like, he’s so funny plss i love him

17. “Did [James] know he was engaged prior to Regulus announcing it when he sent the bagel? No. Is he going to protest it? Also no.” 😭😭

18. 😦😦 they were just talking about weddings and now reg is probably about to drown via crimson river. FUCK THIS

19. “People are born to live, and destined to die. Regulus doesn't care about destiny.” godDAMN

20. sirius helped him climb out with rope. they’re safe. it’s all good. i KNOW he has a pov but i was still so worried for him

21. 😧 my dear. flipping off the sky will NOT help you survive longer. they will just try to kill you more painfully.

22. 😭😭 not zar saying this was a lighter chapter cause he’s comparing it to the previous one. babes. reg’s worst nightmare just occurred again 😭😭