#I’d drive so slow I’d probably stop the car lay in the road and shout IS ANY OF THIS REAL

[sun-lit-goth]

No driving while high

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Home Bound (Part 1)

Summary: Dean wakes up in the middle of nowhere Colorado late one night during an ice storm, shoulder dislocated and with no idea how he’s back from the dead. His one and only thought is to keep himself together in order get home to the bunker and figure out what the hell is going on...

Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,400ish

Warnings: language, angst, injury, mention of character death, mourning, supernatural events

A/N: Written entirely in Dean’s POV. Enjoy!

______

“Ow,” I said quietly to myself. It was dark, middle of the night, and naturally raining. It was cold out, colder than it had been the last time I could remember being out at dark. It must have been winter now which meant it’d been at least a few months. Chuck was dead. Not that he would have brought me back. It must have been Jack. But why bring me back and not the others was interesting.

Cas and Sam were more like fathers to him than I was. I loved the kid, he was family. But I fucked it up a bit too much. He’d always been a scared kid with a million reasons to do the wrong thing and somehow he’d stayed good. I nearly killed him more than once. Nearly did it for what happened with mom. It was an accident and I’d almost pulled the trigger.

“Sorry, Jack,” I mumbled, holding my dislocated shoulder as I walked along the side of the road. “Should have brought back somebody else.”

I took a deep breath, coming up to a telephone pole. I needed to get the arm dealt with and forget about why I felt so crappy. I stopped when I got there and took off my belt, wrapping it around my bicep. I stood back against it and reached behind with my good arm and caught the end of it. 

“Okay, okay, okay,” I said. I made sure my back was as flat as could be and my left arm had room to move. “Okay.”

I yanked the belt hard in front of me, shouting as my arm moved back into the socket. I groaned and let go of the belt, slumping down and grabbing my shoulder, taking big inhales of air.

“That’s better,” I said, closing my eyes for a beat. I knew I had to get up again and off the wet grass. It took a moment but I opened my eyes again and got my belt back on. My hand went back to my arm but it was a dull ache now and I could live with that a lot easier. There was still nothing around but dark road, prickly icy rain and trees. “Jack. Show up already.”

I spun around, rain bouncing off the pavement. I’d probably walked two miles from the field I’d woken up in. It wasn’t where I’d died, that was for sure. 

“Maybe I’m actually dead,” I said. “That would make sense...but my shoulder wouldn’t be dislocated if that were true. Fuck, get your ass down here kid. What the Hell is going on?”

It was quiet as I stepped back onto the side of the road and kept walking along. There hadn’t been a single car so I was probably out in the middle of nowhere. If Y/N or Sam or anybody had done anything, I’d assume they’d be waiting for me. Not to mention how Sam was standing right beside me when Chuck threw out that force blast thing or whatever it was. He would have died too. Cas had already been gone but he knew it would happen for the plan. Y/N was a damn idiot and did my part of things. She was so fucking stupid. She should have...

“We both knew that neither of us were walking away from that fight. But I didn’t want to have to watch you die and now...I told you not to get in front of me and you died for it. So thanks for that.”

I clenched my fists, wiping off my face. I shook my head. I could be upset later. Something was going on. Something brought me back. The other crap I’d deal with once I knew what the hell was happening.

After another ten or so minutes there was a rumble behind me. I glanced back over my shoulder and turned up my jacket collar, hearing the car slow as it got closer. I kept walking when the lights hit me and cascaded along the road. 

“Hey,” I heard when the car came to a crawl beside me. I kept my head low and heard the car stop. “You need a ride or something?”

“I’m good,” I said.

“You know town isn’t for like, ten miles right?”

I stopped and looked inside the car. There were three guys in there, all around my age, two of them bigger looking. 

“Come on.”

“I like to walk,” I said, taking a few steps.

“You’re gonna be a popsicle,” the driver said. “You ain’t even-“

“I’m not looking to be in Deliverance tonight so get lost,” I said. I heard him park the car and I frowned when he got out. “Leave me alone.”

“Sorry but no. Me and my friends ain’t gonna hurt you. I don’t know what’s going on with you but you are not alright. It’s freezing out. I don’t know how you got out this far on your own-“

“Fuck off,” I said. The other car doors opened and I took another step away. No way could I take all three with a bad arm. 

“He looks upset,” said the one from the backseat.

“Hey. I’m Sam and-“

“Sam?” I asked, the driver nodding.

“Yeah. I’m Sam and these are my buddies Jake and Austin. What’s your name?”

“Dean,” I said, debating taking off into the woods.

“Why don’t you let us drive you into town, Dean? It’s not safe to be out here in the dark on your own.”

“I ain’t getting in a car with people I don’t know,” I said. 

“This guy. Geez,” said Jake, arguably the largest of the three. He stepped over and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the car. “You better not be some psycho axe murderer.”

“Where’s his axe then, genius?” said Sam. “Come on, Dean. At least ride with us for a minute to warm up before you walk again.”

I shrugged off Jake, glaring at him, hoping he got the picture to back off. I reached behind me and was grateful to still find my small pocket knife in the jacket pocket Y/N had sewn in.

“He’s probably on drugs, Samson. Let’s get out of here. I don’t wanna ride in a car with him either,” said Austin. 

“Dude. Just chill. Obviously something happened to this guy,” said Sam. He turned back towards me and I narrowed my eyes.

“I appreciate you trying to help and all but let’s go our separate ways,” I said.

“Could you take a hint? You look like you got your ass kicked. Come on before we all freeze,” said Sam. 

“Whatever,” I mumbled. Knowing I had the knife made me feel a bit better about the situation anyways. I got in the back beside Jake, Sam waiting a moment before he was driving again. They ignored me for the most part aside from Jake who gave me an occasional side eye in the back. We drove for close to twenty five minutes at a good speed and I realized why he made such a fuss about giving me a ride.

“I’m still hungry,” said Austin from the front.

“Mac’s is open,” said Sam. He drove down a quiet little main street and turned to the right, an all night diner with bright lights filling up the dark night. He parked and they all got out, Sam nodding for me to follow. I stretched my arm as I shut the door behind me, still trying to figure out where the hell I was. “Dean, come on. S’on me.”

“I should really get going,” I said.

“Come on. Least you can do for getting my backseat soaked,” he said. I rolled my eyes but followed him over to the door, the other two already in a booth. I sat down beside Austin, Sam taking the spot across. A waitress came over, all of the men rattling off dishes without even looking at a menu.

“Who’s your friend boys? Better looking than you three put together,” she said with a soft little smile.

“This is Dean. He’ll take a burger with tomato soup and grilled cheese. Extra hot,” said Sam.

“I’ll grab you a dish towel from the back. Your hair is dripping,” she said to me. I nodded and tried to wipe the water away that was soaking down my neck and into my damp shirt. She was back quickly with a few beers and a towel for me, the other three chatting about some basketball game or something.

“So how’d the hell you get all the way out there?” asked Austin. I set the towel down on the booth behind us, swallowing as I sipped from my glass of water. “You didn’t walk all the way from Jefferson did you?”

“Guys. Dean’s having a rough night. Let’s not play twenty questions with him,” said Sam. He gave me a smile and it reminded me of Sammy for a split second. I closed my eyes, an overwhelming urge to start freaking out hitting me. It wasn’t later yet. I’d learned nothing and there wasn’t any time to be wasted getting upset.

“Your girl break up with ya and leave you on the side of the road? I bet that’s it,” said Jake. 

“Dude. What’d I just say?” asked Sam.

“Well he’s upset and pretending not to be,” said Jake.

“She was in an accident. She and my brother, my family. I just needed to walk,” I said. They all stared at me and I was tapping my wet boot on the ground, wanting to get some food in me and get the hell out of there.

“I’m sorry man,” said Austin. “You okay?”

“Need to get home is all,” I said, taking another sip of water.

“Where’s that for you?” asked Sam.

“Lebanon,” I said.

“Where’s that?”

“Kansas.”

“You’re in Colorado right now you realize,” said Jake.

“Lay off,” said Sam, bumping his elbow into Jake’s ribs. “Hey. I uh, I got a spare cot in the garage if you want to crash there tonight. It’s not pretty but it’s warm.”

“I gotta go home,” I said.

“Well you’re not gonna get far in an ice storm on foot in the middle of the night.”

I shook my head and was silent the rest of the time we waited for the food to arrive. Sam looked at me every so often but the three of them left me out of the conversation which I was grateful for.

Forty five minutes later Sam had dropped Austin off at home and it was just the two of us in the car. He looked in the rearview and I sighed.

“My place is just around the corner,” he said.

“Why are you so-”

“Cause my fiance died last year and my family’s been through hell long before that. I get it. You don’t want to talk, that’s fine. But you need food and a roof over your head at the very least. I was way worse than you pal. Without those two, I wouldn’t be here anymore. So do you really want out of this car or do you want a warm bed for the night?”

“I’ll be gone before you get up,” I said. He shrugged and drove down the street for a ways, making a few twists and turns, eventually stopping at a modest little cottage style home. I got out after him, following him into the dark house. He flipped on a light and cut through a hallway, opening a door to reveal a semi-full garage.

“Cot is on the shelf. You can take the couch in the living room if you want but you seem to bite my head off at every little thing so you can decide,” he said. He started to leave and I shut my eyes.

“Sam,” I said. I turned around and he gave me a careful smile. “Why would you let a stranger stay in your house?”

“Cause I remember Dean Winchester. Rugaroo. Kansas City. House with the blue front door,” he said. “Saved my parents lives. The ride and meal was cause I’m a nice guy. You can stay in my house for saving my parents.”

“Losing your fiance, that really happen?” I asked. 

“Yeah. Really fucking sucks,” he said. He pulled the garage door shut and showed me where to put my boots and jacket. He left for a minute and returned with some dry clothes. “Bathroom is right there.”

“Thanks. Samson,” I said as he tossed a blanket on the couch for me to use. He stood up and his eyes looked sad when they caught mine. “Sorry for being a dick.”

“You’re grieving. You have a right to be a dick,” he said. “Stick around in the morning and I can help you get home. You don’t got much for cash from the looks of it.”

I nodded and he left, pattering around in a room down the hall for a few minutes before it got quiet. I went to the bathroom and put on the dry clothes, hanging mine in the shower and hoping they’d be better in the morning. I washed off my face and found some pain medicine in the drawer for my shoulder, throwing it back before I planted my hands on the counter and took a shaky breath.

“Later,” I said, running my hand over my face and leaving, going back to the couch. I laid down and pulled the blanket over myself. It was warm and smelled nice, something Y/N would like probably. “Jack. If you brought me back, I could do with a talk right now buddy. I’m not mad, I promise.”

The house remained silent and I rolled over to my side, face jammed against the cushions. I wasn’t sure what was going to be waiting at home but I was starting to doubt whether ‘later’ could last until then.

_________

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

[kimistorm]

Late Night Shenanigans [Bang Chan x Reader]

Fandom: Stray Kids

Pairing: Bang Chan x GN! Reader

Warnings: None! <20% of this is actually a texting conversation

Summary: You’re a little doubtful of where Chan is taking you for your midnight date, especially since he looks to be taking you into the middle of nowhere, but by the end of the night, you end up with a very special wish.

You ran your hands through your hair in frustration as you looked at your assignment. You had been staring at this darn problem for the past half hour, going to google and desperately searching for something that wasn’t behind a paywall.

Armed with Chan’s answer and excitement for later that night, it wasn’t long until you received another text from your beloved boyfriend letting you know was outside.

You quickly shut off your laptop and grabbed your house keys before heading out to the front door of your home. You silently made your way through the house, straining your eyes to see from the small amount of moonlight peeking through the windows. A hand waved around cautiously in front of you in hopes that it would keep you from smashing into a wall. Once at the door, you felt it safe enough to turn on the flashlight from your phone. Enough to see which pair of shoes was yours. You quietly slipped them on, and eased out the front door as quietly as you could, cringing when the deadbolt clicked as you unlocked and locked it behind you.

Turning around, you saw Chan’s black car stopped in the street in front of your house. You quickly ran across the grass towards him, and pulled open the door to the passenger side, “fancy seeing you here.” You grinned as you slid into the seat, “come here often?”

He paused to think about it, “I’d say so, I have a beautiful significant other who lives in that house.”

“Aww,” you cooed as the two of you gave a quick kiss, “you’re too kind.”

“I see no lies.” He responded smoothly as he pulled on the shifter and released the hand brake to head towards your destination.

“Yeah?” he didn’t see your quirked brow as you admired his profile, “well there’s an even more beautiful man right next to me.”

He scoffed, “no.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Naurrrr.”

“I can do this all night.” You teased when you noticed the annoyance in his voice grow with each comeback.

“Please don’t,” he nearly sighed out, “Jisung kept on texting me awful jokes and puns.”

You let out a mock offended shout, “and he didn’t think to include me?”

“Consider yourself blessed.” He responded as his eyes stayed on the road. While it was quiet, and there were hardly any cars about, he was taking the two of you down a winding path devoid of lights except for the ones coming from his headlights.

“Wait, but I want to hear!” you continued excitedly.

“What do you call a baby computer?”

You tilted your head to the side and thought about it, “minitor?”

“What?” the shock in his voice was clear, “what does that even mean? Like a minotaur?”

“Ah, like a mini-monitor?” you tried to defend your answer, “nevermind that. What was the answer?”

“Data.” Chan deadpanned and it was your turn to be in shock and confusion.

“Data?”

“Da-ta-ta,” he added in a baby voice and you nearly snorted. Mostly from the sound of Chan doing a baby voice, and not really because of the joke. “Come on, it wasn’t that funny.”

“That’s such a Jisung thing,” you smiled as you watched the scenery pass by before turning on your phone to confront said person.

When did that happen? You quickly checked the group chat and scrolled through it a bit to see ‘Seungmo removed Jeekies from the chat.’ Without a second of hesitation, you quickly added Jisung back into the chat.

“Is that the group chat going off?” Chan asked and you took your attention away from the chat to look up at him and the road.

“Yeah, Jisung and I are tagteamming the data joke.” You replied with a smile.

Chan let out a groan, “it’s not a good joke.”

You let out a giggle, “I’ll tell that to Jisung.”

“Believe me, he knows.”

“Do you know why Jisung was proposing to Minho with a squid?” you turned off your phone to refocus on what was happening around you. The area had darkened quite a bit, and by this point you had no idea where you were. You were impressed that Chan seemed to know where he was going, considering how he didn’t even have any navigation system up.

The man in question nearly choked, “proposing with a squid?” he asked incredulously and even glanced towards you in confusion, not that he could make out anything from the darkness.

“Well, an octopus.” You admitted, recognizing the difference between the two.

His laugh blended into his next words, “no. About time though.”

You laughed along with him, “I don’t think Minho liked it that much. Or Seungmin.”

Chan already had a hunch as to what happened and clicked his tongue almost disapprovingly, “did he remove Sungie from the chat?”

“Yuup.”

Chan let out a sigh, “of course he did.”

You laughed at his resignation, “anyways, where we going?”

“You just thought to ask now?” he couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden question, considering how the past few minutes were quiet except for the typing from you and the background music from his spotify playlist.

“I mean, I trust you, so I’m not too concerned.” You hummed and gazed out to the dark expanse surrounding you, “I’d say Area 51 but we’re nowhere close to that.”

“This will be better than aliens,” Chan confirmed with a nod.

You glanced at your phone that lit up again with a picture of an actual squid, Jisung must’ve been running out of octopus pictures, “I think Jisung’s got the alien part covered.”

“Anyways, here we are.” Chan slowed down the car and the dirt crunched beneath the tires as he pulled off to a small clearing by the side of the road. It looked remarkably the same as what the rest of the drive looked like. Dark and empty.

You gave him a confused look that he probably couldn’t see well as he turned off the car, “the middle of nowhere?”

“Exactly.” He told you with a touch of giddy excitement in his voice, “come on!” he nearly jumped out of the car and to the trunk, where he pulled out a blanket and a bag.

You were a bit more skeptical as you slowly got out of the car, “Channie? What are we doing?”

“You said you trusted me?” there was a pout in his voice as he stopped fiddling with trying to lay out the blanket on the hood of his voice.

“Of course I do,” you told him and quickly gave him a hug. You could tell he wasn’t that upset though, judging by the way his voice jumped a couple octaves.

“Hop on,” his voice returned to its normal level as he patted the soft fabric that was laid out on the largest flat surface of his car, “it’s thick enough that the heat from the engine won’t burn.” He added after a moment of hesitation from you. You felt bad for your hesitation and tried to scootch yourself up the hood, “like lay back.” He added as he laid down next to you. You followed his words and what greeted you was a dark sky littered with tiny pinpricks of light.

You felt your jaw drop in awe as you saw an entire collection of stars that you had never seen before. “Oh wow.” You gasped as you tried to soak in the view. It was almost humbling. Each of those tiny pinpricks of white were huge balls of gas light years away. The light that you were currently had traveled the distance of several light years and for several years, now to be witnessed by you and your boyfriend. A warm hand came down to clasp around yours and you eagerly squeezed back.

“It’s my favorite place to stargaze.” He told you softly as you continued to gape up at the sky.

You used your free hand to point at the streak of stars in the sky, the area outside of the streak looking surprisingly empty, “that’s the Milky Way?”

“Yup,” he continued in the same soft tone, enjoying the night atmosphere and you at his side, “that’s literally our galaxy.”

“Looks smaller than I expected,” you laughed and Chan giggled along with you.

“It’s about 50,000 light years across,” he added and gave you a light elbow, “not exactly small.”

“Okay smarty-pants,” you laughed and gave him a slight shove in return. He let out a sound of protest, but let you have the last laugh. You sighed and looked up to the sky again, “do you feel small?”

“From this small glimpse of how vast our universe is?” Chan asked without any hesitation.

You couldn’t help but tear your gaze away from the sky to deadpan at him, “when you put it that way that just makes it seem so much more intimidating.”

He shot you a dimpled smile that you were able to make out as your eyes adjusted, “no.” He scootched over to press himself against your side, “I feel impressed. So many things had to go right. Gravity is the perfect amount that it allows expansion of the Universe, but also brings things close enough together to form atoms. Our planet is the perfect distance away so we’re not scorched or frozen to death. Life evolved from tiny organisms that lived in the ocean to living, bipedal, thinking humans. I exist today. You exist today. And we met, and here we are, gazing at the universe around us. So no, I don’t feel small.” At some point during his ramblings Chan turned his eyes from the twinkling stars shining above to fix you with an adoring look, so it was to your great surprise when you turned and found a pair of eyes looking fondly at you.

“Wait that scares me even more.” You put a hand up to your mouth in slight fear and also to hide the grin as Chan let out an exasperated sound and rolled over so he was on his back again.

“That was insightful!”

“Too deep!” you protested, “it’s midnight, my head’s empty. No thoughts.”

A hand found its way to your head and ruffled at your hair, “lame.” You feebly cried out and tried to fight off his hand but ended up giving up and dealing with it, knowing that nobody was going to see your tousled hair. The hand found itself on the other side of you (effectively bringing the two of you even closer together) and pointed out the brightest star in the sky. “That’s Sirius. Well, technically Sirius A and B since it’s a binary system,” he rambled under his breath, not that you really had any clue what he was talking about, “but we just see it as one point of light.”

“I think you’re brighter than Sirius,” you couldn’t help the cheesy comment as you planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

You could almost see his ears redden and the embarrassed and slightly shocked smile grow on his face as you watched his reaction, “that’s a good one.”

You let out a happy hum and rested your head against his shoulder again, “anything more I should know about Sirius?”

There was a moment of silence before his hand rose back to point at the sky, “it’s part of the Canis Major,” he continued and tried to draw out the shape of the dog with his finger. “Though, not as major as my love for you.” He let out an awkward laugh mixed with a screech and pulled his hand away to cover his face with embarrassment.

“Was that you trying to one up me?” you questioned with a light grin on your face as you propped your head up on a hand as he peered at you past his fingers.

“Maybe?”

You laughed and pressed a kiss to his hands, “nice.” You laid yourself back onto the hood of the car and snuggled up next to him as he continued to point out stars and constellations in the sky while simultaneously giving you more astronomy knowledge than you knew what to do with. It was enjoyable and peaceful as the two of you left your buzzing phones inside the car and there wasn’t a car that passed on the road behind you. The cool night paired with the chirping of insects, Chan’s warm body heat, and the two of you just cuddling up under the stars was your the perfect way to end the week.

“That was a shooting star!” Chan screamed as he pointed up to the sky, you eagerly nodded as you saw the tiny streak of light, “make a wish!” you hummed in agreeance and closed your eyes as you thought about it, but finding it hard as everything you wanted was already right here. “I love you.” He added softly, planting a kiss onto your head.

“Love you too.”

Masterlist

Note: The octopus proposal is a reference to episode 2 of mysterious kitchen! That's literally Han holding that octopus.

[pizza-soup]

Sorry I've been missing in action.

Long story short I got very injured at the labs, but I've been making a fast recovery. For the more detailed, graphic version, you can read below. Warning: Mention of hospital, blood, car accident.

As I mentioned, I got really injured at work beginning on February 21 at around 9 PM. It was during a routine check at some of the sites, one in particular needed our higher clearance because there had been a breach at a fence that past week, so I, and two other guards went to check out any tampering of the fence again. They say it might be vandals but a lot of them say it was some kind of large animal. The road to those sites are a single path through the woods, lit with a few lights, no curves, just a flat road with a hill on one side. It hadn't snowed that week either, so no fear of ice or anything. It was just a routine jeep trek.

It happened so fast. Our vehicle was knocked over, I'm not even sure how, but we were rolling in the dark down a hill, hitting trees. I remember the shouting, holding fast, and the glass. I remember crawling toward a tree and trying to sit up against it or maybe I was put there by the other guard, Dolores, I remember her telling me to stay awake. I asked her if I was dreaming. It didn't feel real. I asked what was happening to me because I couldn't move right, everything felt so slow and muffled. I passed out by the time they got us into the medical ward. I don't remember them putting me in a gown or putting in an IV. I woke up later, I buzzed the call button out of fear and pain. My whole left side was throbbing. A nurse was relieved I finally came to. She gave me pain meds and called the doctor in.

I was told there had been an accident, that much I already knew, but no one was killed, just injured. I lost a lot of blood, my uniform was soaked in it and they had to cut it off me. Part of the metal from the door frame folded in and pieced my left shoulder and I had minor cuts on my hands and arms from the glass. My blood pressure dropped so low they were scared my heart might've stopped. I was given blood, hooked up to a lot of things and I would have to stay under watch for a few days. There was a lot of tests they needed to do to figure out just how bad my injuries were.

For the next few days I was just sleeping, I couldn't sit up without feeling dizzy. I had to lay semi flat, my blood pressure was still very low. My left side was still throbbing and the stitches itched. A lot of bruises developed from being tossed around like I was, mostly on my arms because I was shielding my face and head. My minor glass cuts stung while batheing. Nurses came in every few hours to check my vitals, help me use the restroom, shower, help me eat, ect. I got so tired from the smallest things. I couldn't call anyone, my phone was in my locker. I finally got someone to help me call my brother to tell him what happened. My brother was naturally scared, he thought something happened to me and he was sad to know he was right. He wanted to see me, but he couldn't, I was in the medical ward on lab property. He wanted to call our mom to tell her but I told him to wait, there was a possibility that I might be transferred to a local hospital where they can visit me, and I didn't want her panicking and trying to drive up here in bad weather. It's best she waited til things cleared up.

After the first week I was transferred to a local hospital after getting a bunch of tests done. No brain trauma, no broken bones, no blood sugar issues or thyroid problems. I could sit up in bed by then and eat on my own. I still couldn't walk very well without feeling really dizzy, again, low blood pressure. A lot of minor bruises were fading away. I never had my anemia officially confirmed, but they confirmed it and had me take daily iron and placed on a blood building diet in the new hospital. I was tested for covid, I came out clear.

My brother and mom visited me daily, and the other doctor said I was recovering really quickly, that gave us a lot of hope. I could be out of there by a few days, though my blood pressure was worrying her. Seems it wasn't so much the blood loss, but that it might have been an underlying condition already linked to my untreated anemia. She would get the in-house dietitian to include a bit more natural sea salt to my iron rich diet, as well as tell me what I should eat at home and that I need to drink a lot more water than I normally did. This is a problem I've had for awhile, I forget to drink enough water. The doctor warned me I better remedy that immediately especially with low BP. My mom was already taking notes. She really wanted to just take me home already. I really liked her being there, I'm not that shy about my body, but I honestly felt better having my mom bathe me and comb my hair instead of strangers doing that. She was also a lot more gentle around my stitches and bruises.

Eventually I did come home, I still needed a lot of rest and help getting out of bed. I had to fight the urge to clean house, help with groceries, ect. I'm so used to being self sufficient. I felt so frustrated that just walking around the room would tire me out, when I'd hike for miles just a few months ago. I was tired of sleeping and sitting down. But there wasn't much else I could do. I did a lot of origami, my bro got me a coloring book, I watched a lot of movies, took my iron -which is nasty btw-, ate meals that were saltier than I normally would prepare but my taste buds would have to adjust. I was happy my new diet included a lot of fish though.

I did have some close calls. I really thought I could stand up in the shower instead of sitting, and wound up calling for my mom to help me up after collapsing. I collapsed again when I was trying to cook dinner for myself. My face, according to my mom, was drained of color and my breathing was shallow. I felt so dizzy and nauseated. She nearly wanted to call the hospital again. My bro said I was pushing myself too hard and I always had a problem with not asking for help. That I needed to learn to stop being so damn stubborn and rest. To anyone else, that sounds harsh, but he knows me way too well, probably better than our mom. I do have that problem, I do push myself too much. After that, I decided to be more patient with myself. I was sick and might be sick for awhile.

This week I'm doing a lot better. I can do my daily things now, I even went to get groceries and take a little walk to the river. But I can't over do it, I can't stand up or walk for too long, and I can't lift anything heavy, otherwise I get bouts of dizziness and need to sit down. The pain isn't as bad on my back anymore though it's still very sore, my arms, especially my left side, have a dull pain. I can't sleep on my back and left side, only my right and on my stomach. A lot of the cuts on the back of my arms and hands have scabbed over, minor bruises are gone but major ones on my shoulder and neck are still pretty dark and tender. I'm still finding glue spots on my chest and stomach from the medical tape and the EKG patches they put on me, but a bit of lotion is taking it off. My stitching, according to my mom, is definitely going to leave a pretty bad scar above my shoulder blade, but it's fine. My body has a lot of scars here and there from close calls, but I consider them ' Marks of Life'. They're proof I survived and thrived.

It'll take time for me to really feel like I'm back to normal. My mom refuses to go back home until I make a full recovery. She hasn't tended to me like this for a long time, mainly because I rarely get sick. I trait from my dad's side. We don't get colds or flus for years, no history of cancer, heart issues or diabetes, and his family usually remain active to their elderly years, not to mention our graceful aging. My dad used to say it was our native blood, we're just built tougher. The only thing that could kill us is getting injured like this. God, he'd be so worried about me though. I remember how he'd fuss over me when I skinned my knee as a child or got my allergies. If he was alive, he'd probably refuse to let me do anything out of bed, but then that's exactly what I should be doing anyway.

I got a report on the other guards health yesterday. Dolores and Elijah. She was the least hurt out of all of us, just a dislocated arm, mild whiplash, and some really bad glass cuts on her chest and arms, she's home recovering with her husband and kids. Elijah was the driver and got knocked unconscious with a bad concussion, his entire left arm was sliced by glass and metal, he lost a lot of blood like me and is recovering just as slow as I am. He opted to stay in the lab medical ward because he doubts his roommate can care for him at home, he's on a lot of pain meds, so he sounded distant on the phone. I think out of all of us, he's going to take the most time to recover. I told him I'd pray for him and if he wants, I can visit. He appreciated that a lot. I thanked Dolores for helping us that night, she was the one trying her best to keep us alive and sent the distress signal on our ARK devices so they could find us in the dark. Without her, I think we would've bled to death.

God, it feels like a distant nightmare. I still can't figure out how we were knocked off the road like that. Something hit us out there and it was strong. I felt the impact in the backseat, but I didn't see it. Dolores says it looked like a bear, but bears aren't that strong. Eli says he saw horns, so maybe a bison. Bison are that strong, especially against a little jeep. The incident is still under investigation. The lab is also very concerned about how this happened. It's possible the same thing that hit us, has been tampering with the fence.

One less thing to worry about is the hospital bill, the accident happened on lab grounds, everything is taken care of through them, probably because they don't want to get sued. They are giving us another two weeks before we report back in to the doctor for another round of tests and physical tests, as well as check to see if my stitches were still secure. Our return to work solely depends on our results, we may not be able to come back until late April. They really want to be sure we're okay. Because I'm an 'Ophanim' aka Tier 3 guard, I'll also be given a mental test before being hooked back into Selene. They just want to be sure there's no cognition issues and I can sync properly to her. I may have to do a refresher since I've been away for so long, but I'll worry about that when it comes.

Well, if you read this far, thanks. I hope I didn't scare you all too much. I am doing a lot a better though, I promise. I'm getting stronger everyday, though activity on this blog will be slow. Send me some prayers, good vibes, whatever. I'd really appreciate anything. Hope you've had a good month, better than mine hopefully.

[slippinmickeys]

Link for chapters one, two, three, four and five. 

This is the final chapter, thanks for sticking with me.  

She was separated from the rest of the patients in the ER by only a thin curtain that was occasionally thrown back with a curt shhtt! by any number of hospital personnel, quickly and at random. She flinched every time.

She was wearing an ill-fitting grey sweatsuit provided to her by the police officers who came to take her statement and her clothes, as evidence. She was allowed to keep her shoes, for which she was grateful. They were almost dry, though marked by a Pollack-like splatter of blood, mud and rain water. She had eight stitches in her arm, nineteen in her side, and a prescription for an antibiotic which she clutched tightly in her hand.

Shhtt! The curtain pulled back once again, this time admitting a nurse named Carmen--the woman was in her 50s and overweight, her hair pulled back in a dark bun with wiry strands of silver running throughout. She smiled at Scully, revealing a mouth full of crooked teeth. She’d had a tendency to call Scully “honey,” which Scully wanted to attribute to her sweet, maternal-like nature, but probably had to do with the fact that she couldn’t remember her name.  

“You’re almost out of here, darlin’,” she said, mixing it up a bit as she dipped her head to look Scully in the eye. “The doctor is filling out your discharge papers, now. These,” she handed Scully a few pieces of paper that were printed in faded dot-matrix ink, “are your after-care instructions. Ibuprofen for the pain. You can take up to 600 ml safely, every six hours.”

Scully nodded mutely and folded the papers around the smaller prescription. Nurse Carmen patted her leg gently.

“Do you have someone you can call to come get you? It’s late.”

Scully glanced up at the clock on the wall -- it was nearly 3:30 am. She flipped through her mental rolodex and came up empty.

“I… I don’t have my keys,” she told the woman in a halting voice, “he knocked away my keys.”

“Do you have a Super or a roommate that can let you in?”

At the word “roommate” Scully felt tears burn in her eyes unbidden, but nodded at the nurse. Gary, their building manager, would be cranky as hell about it, but would let her in. She tried not to think about Mulder, and of course could only picture him on the porch of some oceanside cottage, sitting in a bench swing with Debbie while they fed each other crabcakes and drank red wine.

Shhtt! This time the curtain produced her doctor, who had been kind enough, but always seemed too busy or distracted to meet her eye. His head was always buried in a chart or steeped in concentration six inches from her skin, sewing her back together.

“All right Miss Scully, you’re free to go,” he said, snapping a folder closed. “Have you been assigned a detective yet for your case?”

“No, they said they’d call me,” she answered, and thought but with my luck…

He nodded and walked away, and Carmen touched her elbow and told her which way to go to get to the hospital exit. She passed by a pay phone near the door to the outside, but realized she didn’t have any change and gave the nurse at the nearest station her sob story before the woman, looking bored, handed her the station phone’s receiver and let her call a cab.

She headed outside to wait.

There was an ambulance idling just outside the emergency bay, the EMTs leaning against the side of the rig, drinking coffee and joking with each other. She couldn’t remember if they were the ones who had helped bring her to the hospital, so turned the other way and walked forty feet down the sidewalk, embarrassed.

She hadn’t asked how long it would be until the cab showed up and wondered how many were even on duty this time of night.

The pavement was damp, as if it had only just stopped raining, and it was still cold. She rubbed her hands together and stamped her feet to keep warm, the movement jarring the wound in her side. She felt close to tears.

She heard the roar of a motor coming up the empty road, but a quick glance proved that it wasn’t her cab, just a motorcycle tearing up the drive, going too fast for conditions. She wondered if maybe the driver was hurt when he skidded to a stop under the overhang directly in front of the ER doors.

The rider swung off his bike just as the two EMTs pushed off the ambulance, chiding him and telling him he couldn’t park there. The rider ignored them and whipped off his helmet, about to trot into the doors of the hospital when Scully recognized him and shouted his name.

“Mulder?!”

His head whipped toward her voice and then he came running, his face a mask of worry.

“Scully!” he shouted as he approached. He slowed only when he was nearly on top of her and reached out two hands, only to whip them back, as if afraid he might hurt her. “Scully,” he said again, “God! Are you okay?”

“How-” she said, not quite believing it was him, “what are you doing here?”

“I just found out,” he said, stopping short then stumbling into speech again. “That you were attacked. Jesus, I thought the worst.” He reached a hand out again, but didn’t touch her. “Are you okay?”

He must have driven in the rain. His jeans were soaked through and his hands looked red and chapped.

“Scully,” he said, again, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, slowly. She wanted to be dismissive, but she was in too much pain. “I’m -- I’m cut,” she said, raising up her arm to show him the stitches. “And here,” she said, pointing to her side.

“Jesus,” he said, “Will you be able to ride the bike? I need to get you home. Shit.” He looked around, “you can’t ride like this, we need to get you in a car.”

“No!” she said, and his head whipped back to her. “I can ride. Just… Please just take me home.”

He looked at her a long moment and then nodded, shrugging off his leather jacket to put around her shoulders. He helped her gingerly get it on, and then reached down to zip it for her. The inside of the jacket felt like silk, and was dry and warm. He put his arm around her and led her to the bike, the EMTs looking on silently, sipping their coffee and staring unabashedly.

He got her on the bike first, unzipped her jacket a bit to put her care instructions and prescription in the inside pocket, and then delicately lowered the helmet over her head, securing it before putting on his own. He got on, careful not to jostle her.

She was able to wrap her arms around him--luckily even the injured one--without much pain, and his body felt wonderfully warm and solid in front of her. He kicked the bike on, and he drove as carefully back to their apartment as he had driven pell-mell to get to her.

XxXxXxXxXxX

When they got back to the apartment, she was stiff, bone tired, and she wanted to tell him she’d made a terrible mistake, but she couldn’t find the words.

He escorted her to her bedroom door and hovered there, an energy radiating off of him that fairly trembled. She turned to him, one hand on the doorknob, and looked at him expectantly.

“Did he… hurt you?” Mulder asked. “Other than…” he gestured vaguely to her arm.

“Hurt me?” she asked, confused, and the look on his face broke her heart. Oh. Oh. “No,” she rushed out, and put a hand on his arm. “This is the extent of it. I got mugged, Mulder. That’s it.”

He must have rushed to the hospital without any information. She could only imagine all the dark scenarios running through his head.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said, “Okay…”

“Goodnight, Mulder,” she said, and he nodded.

“Call out if you need anything. At all.”

She took her hand off the door handle.

“I’ll leave the door open, just in case,” she said.

He nodded and backed away slowly, throwing her several concerned looks as he descended the stairs.

She fell into bed and slept for 12 hours.

XxXxXxXxXxX

At 4:00pm, she hovered at the top of the stairs, her tongue thick with sleep in her mouth, her side and arm hurting. Her hair was a mess and she was afraid of what lay at the bottom of the stairs. Of facing the day, facing Mulder, facing her future. She thought of the dolly zoom in Hitchcock’s Vertigo, and placed her foot on the first step.

Mulder was waiting on the couch and leapt to his feet when he saw her.

“I was getting worried,” he said.

“Post-shock sleep,” Scully shrugged.

“How are you feeling?”

In truth, she was feeling so many things they seemed to bottleneck in her throat and render her speechless.

Finally, she just said, “Fine.”

He nodded at her, letting the silence settle around them, and it occurred to her that he was using a psychologist’s trick--waiting for her to fill the silence. She smiled to herself and let him have the round.

“How did you know?” she asked, wanting to know since he’d shown up at the hospital on his motorcycle like Steve McQueen. “That I’d been attacked? Where to find me?”

He sat down on the couch and she gingerly lowered herself next to him.

“Sam called,” he said, “ she was working at dispatch when your call came in. When I walked in the door, the phone had been ringing off the hook. She called and called. I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

“You drove all the way down from the Chesapeake? In the rain?”

He looked at her, confused.

“I never went to the Bay,” he said, cocking his head to the side.

“You- what?” Scully said, sure she hadn’t heard right.

“I never went to the Bay with Debbie,” he said, “I went over to talk to her and break things off, like I said I would.”

Scully felt like the top of her head had lifted off and floated away.

“But Samantha said-” Scully started.

“Sam only knew what Debbie had told her the last time she saw her. We never went to the Chesapeake. I told Deb I wanted to see her before the trip, but only so I could break it all off. I ended up telling her everything. We sat and talked for hours…  She helped me figure out what to do.”

“What to do?” Scully said, feeling like pages had been torn out of an instruction book she’d been trying to follow.

Mulder looked down at the floor and then raised his eyes to her.

“I’m not the kind of guy who can date a woman… when I’m in love with someone else.”

Scully felt a surge of hope and happiness so overwhelming she wasn’t sure what the look on her face was. Mulder read it as something else all together.

“Look, I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel the same way. And I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, and I swear going forward I will keep it to myself, but for weeks I’ve felt like this and I thought there might be a chance you felt it, too. But you don’t, and I respect that. I just… I needed to say it. I needed to say it out loud. Once.”

She felt light and heavy all at once, elemental. Lit from the inside, like she’d swallowed a mouthful of ginger.

He stood suddenly and ran his hands through his hair until it stood on end.

“This is all my fault,” he said, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

Scully was taken aback.

“Your fault? Mulder-” she said.

“I shouldn’t have pushed myself on you,” he said, “after Ethan was here. You were hurt and vulnerable and- you said it was a mistake. It was. The mistake was mine.”

He looked to the ceiling, shoved his hands into his pockets.

“You didn’t push yourself on me, Mulder,” Scully said, refusing to let him take on responsibility for anything that had happened in the last 24 hours. She took a bracing breath. “And the only mistake was mine. When I told you that that night didn’t mean to me what it did. When I let you think for one second that I don’t feel the same way you do.”

His eyes snapped to hers.

She stood and walked to him, his mossy eyes searching and perspicuous.  He was miles deep and a fathom tall. She realised in that moment--and she would be able to look back and remember it clearly--that to love him had an inevitable feeling. Inevitable as gravity. As death and taxes. She grabbed his hand.

“My life right now is as tumultuous and up in the air as it has ever been and might ever be. I’ve been figuring out who I am on my own. I’m giving up what I thought I wanted out of my career and life for what I know I want. I’m about to move 3,000 miles away. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I fell in love with my roommate.”

As he looked at her, a smile blossomed on his face and reached his eyes. He squeezed the hand she was holding.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. Frankly, this,” she put her other hand on his chest, “scares me. But I also know I would regret not at least trying to be with you. I’d regret it until the day I died. I didn’t realize that until I thought I was about to.”

He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, took a deep breath. She felt everything inside her click into place.

He leaned down and pressed the gentlest kiss to her lips.

XxXxXxXxXxX

They slept together that night--only slept. Mulder had gone out and picked up her prescription earlier in the day while she slept and the pills made her queasy.

Mulder tucked her into his own bed downstairs, brought her Saltines and ginger ale. When she awoke the next morning, he was curled around her. He helped her change her bandages and tie her shoes--she still couldn’t quite bend over.

At noon that day -- Labor Day -- the phone rang, it was Ellen calling from Seattle.

“Dana?” she said. “God, how are you?”

Scully didn’t have the first idea how to respond to that particular question, so she deflected.

“Ellen!” she said, “how are you? How goes the internship? You ready to come home yet?”

“It’s fabulous! And that’s actually why I’m calling. Dana, they offered to hire me on full-time. They want me to work out here while I finish my degree.”

“Oh Ellen, congratulations!” she said, feeling genuine joy for her friend.

“Thanks,” Ellen said, “I know you were counting on me to take the lease back over, and I can still probably help out for a few months now that I’m getting paid, but I thought I’d see how the new roommate is working out? Any chance he might want to stay for a bit longer?”

The roommate in question was currently tidying up in the kitchen, and came to the room’s doorway to eavesdrop on her conversation.

“The new roommate?” she repeated for his benefit, and then gave him a tart look, “He’s working out okay, I guess.”

At that, Mulder feigned insult and promptly whipped off his shirt and started doing push-ups.

“I take that back,” Scully said, maintaining eye contact with him while he exercised, by which she couldn’t help but get a little turned on. “He’s definitely working out.” Mulder stopped doing push-ups, sat up, and kissed his bare bicep. Scully let out a guffaw. “I’ll ask him.”

Ellen laughed too, without knowing why, and said “I’m so glad. And thank you. Oh, I’m going to miss you! Listen, I’ve got to get going, but we’ve got so much to catch up on. Talk soon?”

She watched Mulder as he disappeared back into the kitchen, still shirtless. “Sometime next week?”

“Done. I’ll call you. Bye Dane!”

“Bye!”

Scully rose to hang the phone back up on the wall and drifted into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe to watch Mulder as he put dishes away.

“You do that a lot?” she asked him.

“Do what?” he asked, without looking away from his task, “Housework like a helpful roommate, or exercise hard to maintain my girlish figure?”

She came up behind him and kissed his bare back.

“Your figure is decidedly non-girlish, Mulder,” she said, ignoring his question, “for which I am increasingly thankful.”

He turned suddenly in her arms and she found herself staring at his bare chest. He rubbed his hands up down the tops of her arms, careful not to get too close to her cut.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, leaning his face down into hers.

She nodded into his kiss, “Yeah,” she said, right before his lips met hers. She deepened the kiss immediately, remembering the way the big muscles on his upper back had moved beneath his skin as he did push-ups, the way he’d looked at her with intent the entire time he was doing them.

He let her lead, doing nothing more than returning her enthusiastic kisses and dropping his hands to rest lightly on her hips.

She reached down and tipped her forefingers into the tops of his jeans, pulling him closer and then running her fingers to his fly. He pulled back, just as she popped the button.

“Hey,” he said, nudging her face with his nose, brushing his lips lightly against hers. “What are you up for, here?”

She looked down at him with intent, at where his erection was pressing against the fly of his jeans. “Whatever you’re up for, flyboy,” she said, and nipped at him.

“I just,” he leaned back a little bit more, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

She unzipped his fly slowly.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” she said.

“You pop a few of those stitches, your doctor might say otherwise,” he said, putting his hands on hers to still her movements.

“But I want you,” she said, licking her lips, reveling in the concupiscent lustiness he brought about in her.

He smiled at her slowly.

“We can figure this out,” he said, “we just need to be creative.”

“I have, so far, been both pleased and impressed with your creativity,” she said.

“Then allow me,” he said, and turned their positions so that she was standing with her back to the counter, then bent down to shimmy her sweatpants and underwear off, while she stood, patiently, wondering what his plan was.

When he straightened back up, he leaned forward, bracing his arms on the counter on either side of her.

“What,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her, “can you do that doesn’t hurt?”

She grabbed his head and brought his mouth back to hers for a deep, thorough kiss, then she released him.

“That,” she said, “didn’t hurt.”

He smiled at her.

“Noted.”

She reached forward and grabbed his fly again, and then started to lower his jeans down around his hips when she suddenly hissed in pain. Mulder grabbed her and straightened her.

“So no bending over,” he said. She nodded, a little disappointed. “Can you sit?”

“As evidenced by sitting on my ass nearly all of yesterday evening and again this morning, all information points to sitting being a medically approved position for Patient Scully,” she said in her best med student voice.

Mulder chuckled.

“Okay,” he said, and then surprised her by reaching down and easily lifting her up and onto the surface of the counter, which was cold against her aforementioned ass. She let out a startled yelp.

“Mulder!” she said.

“Was that pain, or the temperature of the counter?” he asked.

“The temperature of the counter,” she said through gritted teeth.

He smiled wickedly.

“The longer you sit on it, the more it’ll warm up,” he said.

She shook her head.

“Mulder, counters are for glasses, not for a-”

“Shh,” Mulder cut her off with a finger to her lips. “I promise I’ll clean up,” he said.

She tilted an eyebrow at him, but complained no more.

He put his hands on her thighs, spreading her legs apart so he could step in between them, their faces now perfectly level for kissing. He ran his hands lightly up her legs until his thumbs were just brushing at the crease where her legs met her pubis, sending a shiver down her spine.

He had pulled his jeans back up, but hadn’t zipped them, so she reached down and slipped her hand inside, grasping the silken steel of him, and he hissed into her mouth.

“You first,” he whispered, and then lowered himself to the floor, now at the perfect level to lean forward and press his face into her sex, giving her an open-mouthed kiss and inhaling deeply through his nose. “I love the way you smell,” he said, and then darted his tongue out to press into her labia. “I love the way you taste.”

She reached out and ran her hands through his hair, digging her nails into his scalp when he gently parted her labia with his fingers and started running his tongue softly over her clit, gradually with more speed and pressure.

She concentrated on keeping her torso immobile, which was difficult when all she wanted to do was gyrate her hips into his sumptuous mouth, chasing the orgasm she could feel building even now.

Just as he’d done before, he pressed one long finger and then another up and into her, and moments after he started rubbing the rough pad of her G spot, an orgasm surged up within her. She let go of his head and braced her hands on the countertop, holding herself as steady as she could as the waves crashed within her, and he gently lapped at her, slowing as she came down.

He stood when she exhaled, and she rolled her head from one shoulder to the other, letting the ringing in her ears lessen with each breath.

“How are you so good at that?” she asked, her tongue all lassitude in her mouth.

“I was a double major,” he said smugly, his cocksure grin charming as a flop-eared terrier.

She shoved him in the shoulder and he fell back a step, then moved forward to carefully help her down from the counter. She stood in front of him, still in a shirt with no pants, and he pressed a finger under her chin and tilted her head back until she was looking up at him.

“I like this look,” he said, “it’s very Donald Duck.”

She laughed and shoved his shoulder again.

“You know, I was going to push for reciprocity, but I think I just changed my mind,” she said.

“Nah,” he said, and leaned down to nip at her nose, “plenty of time for that.” He then leaned over sideways to look at her aftercare instructions, which had been stuck to the fridge. “When do you get your stitches out?”

“Friday,” she said.

“Gonna be a good weekend,” he mumbled into her lips.

She felt herself deflate.

“I leave for California the Friday after that.”

She hadn’t even begun starting to pack.

He leaned his head forward until it once again rested on hers.

“We’ll figure it out,” he whispered.

XxXxXxXxXxX

That night, they sat on the loveseat on their balcony, watching the stars wink on in the sky, Venus emerging brightly from the ecliptic. They drank iced tea (Mulder may have had a beer or two) and talked about how they’d handle being long distance, Scully tucked into Mulder’s side.

They had yet to come up with a plan that excited them both. The pull of sunny California started to wane.

“Have you ever found a place you felt like you belonged? Somewhere you just felt at home? Where you knew it was where you were supposed to be?” she asked him after a few minutes of silence.

He squinted his eyes, thinking. Then,

“It’s not down on any map,” he recited to the stars. “True places never are.”

Melville. She gave him a look, thought of her father.

“Yeah,” she said, “I’ve been searching for it my whole life. And I think… that place might be you.”

“You gotta go, Scully,” he said, looking down at her, knowing what she was getting at. “Med school is your dream, so it’s my dream, too. I won’t let you not go.”

She took a breath, knowing he was right.

“Besides,” he said, “I don’t want to be the only doctor in this house,” he said, then shrunk away from her, knowing what was coming. She swatted at him, then let him settle back against her.

They sat in silence for long minutes, until Mulder finally shifted.

“Be right back,” he said, and stood, her side going cold from where he’d been.

He came back a minute later, carrying the large white pillar candle that Scully had lit for him his first night in the apartment. He produced a lighter from his pocket, flicked it on and touched it to the wick, then set the candle on the small table in front of them.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he said, settling back onto the loveseat and gently tucking her back into his side. “Take this with you to California. I’m going to get one just like it. And when either one of us is doubting, or when things get too lonely or dark, we’ll each light the candle.”

She glanced up to look at his profile, her heart constricting in her chest with love for this man.

“To cast out the darkness?” she asked, her voice quiet.

He nodded, then rolled his head to look at her.

“I mean, we should have a go at the evil spirits, too,” he said, chuckling.

She smiled at him, and leaned her head against his shoulder, watching the flame dance in the light breeze of the DC night.

XxXxXxXxXxX

When Mulder got home from work the next day, Scully was on the couch trying to study, her stitches itching madly.

“Hey,” he said, swinging the door closed. He hung his keys absently on the hook by the door, and kicked off his shoes. He had something in his hand. He was radiating a nervous energy.  “Something came for you in the mail.” He looked at her significantly. “From Georgetown.”

“Probably paperwork for the end of term,” she said, barely looking up. “I’ve got a lot of crap I’ve got to fill out. You can put it in the kitchen.”

He sat down next to her.

“I don’t think that’s what it is,” he said, and held out a standard white envelope.

She looked at the return address. Georgetown Medical School.

She felt her eyes go wide and looked at him.

“Go on,” he said, and she wasted no time tearing into it.

She read the letter twice before leaning back into the couch and finally looking at him.

“Don’t make me guess,” he said quietly.

“Accepted,” she said, the smile blooming on her face mirrored back at her. “Full ride scholarship.”

“You get to stay,” he said, mirabile dictu.

“I get to stay.

The sunlight coming through the sliding glass door behind him glinted off his hair, turning it into a filmy halo of gold. He reached out and hooked her thumb through his pinkie, pulling her hand up until it was against his chest, pressing against his beating heart.

She felt the thump and swish of it, its heat and birr, and she knew what it felt like to be home.

THE END

[katefiction]

Revolution, Part 4

by katefiction (Maria) / 2014

Driving on the deserted out skirts of Redfern had become our new favourite pastime. Back home, we loved to go for walks together. William would often take George on an early morning walk while Kensington Palace gardens were still closed to the public, and occasionally I would join them. It was the only sense of liberty we had back in London – a liberty that was confined to the gates of the palace grounds.

Iowa couldn’t be more different. The sun sizzled on our skin and stabbed into our eyes, and while we loved this weather, we couldn’t walk for long without George needing shade and water. So going for drives became our thing. You only had to drive ten minutes from Redfern to feel like you’d escaped for the day.

On that January day, we had needed somewhere to escape to. The news a few weeks earlier that the queen may be returning to the UK had tested us. There was the initial relief that she was safe and well, and the gladness that the Republic was losing their hold. Then came the worry that a renunciation of the Revolution would put us in danger from the people that wanted William out of the country so badly. Lastly came the realisation that we had to make a decision about what we wanted to do.

William had continued to work hard on the farm, but there were times when he became distracted and injured himself or wasted the milk by dropping it all over the ground after he’d spent an hour milking the cows. On that day, he’d accidently tripped over a bucket and kicked it so hard in frustration that it almost smashed Bette’s window. It was her who ordered him to ‘take a long break’.

So there we were, driving with our windows down, George in his new car seat at the back jabbering away to Ronald who was tucked safely under his arm.

William parked up at Rock Creek, a nature park formed of high and varied rocks and trees, and centred by a large pool of water. Bette had suggested it to us as somewhere relaxing to visit, it was the kind of place that you could hear the insects chirping in the grass.

We found ourselves a nice deserted spot right by the creek, and sat down on a large set of rocks. William picked up some small pebbles on the ground.

‘Here George, let’s try and skim them’ he threw a pebble in and it managed a small skim before it slid into the water.

He handed George one who threw it into the water with a plop. He laughed hysterically at the water splashing up from the surface and William gave him another one. He repeated the manoeuvre and we laughed with him as we watched his joy at throwing the stones in.

William took him closer to the water, crouching down to hold his body close to him.

‘We’re running out of pebbles here!’ he said as I watched from my seat. George flung his free arm about, impatient for another stone, his other holding on to Ronald.

‘Hold on, hold on’ William said, scrambling around to find one big enough.

But it was too late, because George had lost his sense of co-ordination and in his eagerness to throw another pebble in, hurled Ronald into the water instead.

The three of us paused in silence for a moment, before the piercing sound of George’s cry broke into it. I leapt up and rushed over to him.

‘It’s ok baby, it’s ok’ I said, stoking his face, while Will cuddled him close.

Ronald was bobbing up and down in the water and drifting further from us. William jumped into action and found a stick from the side of the creek. He knelt onto the bank and reached as far as he could, but to no avail.

George’s face was red from the wailing for Ronald, a look of despair covering it.

William looked over to him, ‘right’ he said, rolling up his jeans.

‘You’re not?…’ I said.

‘I am’ he replied, taking off his boots and socks. He stepped into the murky water with determination.

‘Fu-libberty jibbet!’ he shouted, ‘this is colder than it looks’

I giggled, and William’s reaction stopped George from crying too. ‘Be careful, you don’t know how deep it is’

He continued to walk and I threw him the long stick to use so he could feel how deep the water was getting. By the time he’d reached Ronald, he was chest deep in the green water.

‘Victory!’ he shouted, holding Ronald up like a trophy at George.

I held George’s arms up and waved them around as if we were greeting him from years away at war.

William emerged from the bank with the water dragging down his clothes. A flutter jumped in my stomach at the sight of him dripping wet, heroically carrying Ronald.

George lifted up his arms to try and grab him, ‘Ro Ro Ro Ro’

‘He’s dirty pumpkin, we’ll give him a good wash when we get home ok?’ I said, stroking his hair.

But George was just like his father, stubborn to the end, ‘Ro Ro Ro’ he screamed.

William lifted him off the ground and spun him around, throwing Ronald to me as he did so. He was an expert at distracting George. He pointed out the trees and the bugs and made them sound like the most exciting thing he’d ever seen. When George wriggled, he took off his shoes and they paddled together in the shallow water.

George jumped up and down in the water, delighted by the trickles between his toes.

‘Come on mummy’ William beckoned.

I took my shoes off and joined them, ‘well done’ I said and kissed William on the lips, careful not to let him get my clothes wet too.

He smiled coyly at me and I blushed.

‘Lupo would love this’ I said looking up at the canopy of trees that covered us.

‘He would’ William said with a slight sadness. ‘You miss him, don’t you?’

I nodded, ‘like crazy’.

‘And everything else?’ William probed as he helped George make a little moat in the mud.

‘I miss my family, of course, and our home…’ I stopped, realising that he was trying to make our decision easy. ‘What are we gonna do Will?’

He paused, ‘What do you want to do?’

‘Don’t put this on me, please’ I begged.

‘I’m not, I just…’ he sighed, ‘all I care about is making the two of you happy, I don’t want you to regret anything’

‘We have to make this decision together’ I said.

‘I know, but I still need to know your opinion’ he smirked.

‘I miss home’ I began. ‘But I don’t know how I would feel about going back now’

I clenched my hands together, thinking about how our carefree life would be over if we went back.

‘So you’d like to stay?’ he asked.

‘Maybe’ I said non-committedly. ‘You like it here too though?’

He looked up at me, ‘of course, it’s everything we ever wanted. You know, six months ago, I didn’t think I’d need to ask you if you wanted to go home’ he laughed.

‘You can be quite persuasive when you want to be’ I said, kicking some water in his direction before changing tact. ‘What if your grandmother needs you to come home? And your father?’

William exhaled, ‘Maybe I’ll have to tell them that I can’t’

I watched him and George play together, and wondered if he meant it. William had always wanted this freedom and now that he had it, it was everything he expected. Was it really going to be so easy to let his past go?

*

We drove back that afternoon with a renewed sense of energy. William’s mood had improved and we had accepted the fact that there was nothing we could do until something happened back in London.

We cruised back into Redfern at a leisurely pace. Halfway home, I noticed his brow crease and his eyes dart back and forth from the rear view mirror.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘There’s a car behind us…don’t turn around’ he said as I turned my head. ‘It’s been following us all the way from the creek’

I stretched to look through the mirror to see a dark blue saloon car behind us. ‘Are you sure you’re not being paranoid? This is the main road back into town’

‘Let’s see what happens if I turn off the main road’ he said, keeping one eye on the mirror.

At the next turning we found, William drove into it without indicating or slowing down as he usually would. A few moments later, we saw the car turn after us.

‘Shit’ he whispered.

‘Can we just go back to the farm, it’s probably nothing’ I said anxiously.

William slowed when we got to a lay by and turned the car around to get back onto the main road. This time the saloon didn’t follow, but carried on down the small lane.

‘See I told you’ I said with mock confidence.

William, however, didn’t say another word until we got home.

*

The dark drew in quickly that evening, the worry over the car hung over us like a cloud. William was quiet, but affectionate, occasionally giving my waist a squeeze as he brushed past me in Bette’s kitchen. We were over there for dinner, which had become a regular occurrence.  William and I would cook for all of us while Bette entertained George.

The two of them went outside to pick some tomatoes for the dinner, leaving William and I alone.

‘Talk to me, what’s going through your head?’ I said, once Bette and George were outside.

William sighed, ‘I don’t know what to think’

‘Yes you do – you just don’t want to tell me’ I said bluntly, as I flipped a steak at the stove.

He looked up, pausing from chopping up the vegetables to see how annoyed my expression was.

‘You’re acting like you did the night you left. You don’t have to hide things from me’ I continued.

‘I’m not…’ he mumbled.

I returned his gaze, giving him a look that said I wasn’t prepared to be kept in the dark again.

‘Why now?’ he said, giving in. ‘Why are we being followed now?’

‘What do you mean?’ I said, relieved that he was letting me in.

He placed the knife down and leant against the counter. ‘We’ve been here for months, and it’s been weeks since the news about Granny going back to London. Something serious must be happening back home for them to be watching us’

I ran my fingers over the back of his neck to relax him, ‘we don’t know if that car was even following us Will’

‘You really think that was a coincidence?’ he asked.

I thought for a second before I spoke, ‘I think that if we want any kind of life here, we can’t be paranoid all the time, what kind of life is that going to be for George?’

He looked at me guiltily and then said, ‘I won’t put him in danger’

I put down the steak flipper and put my arms around his waist, ‘we’ll try and get the radio on tonight, see what’s happening’ I said more calmly than I felt.

He nodded and kissed the top of my head.

The door flung open and Bette and George tottered in, George carrying a basket of tomatoes, ‘it’s getting windy out there!’ Bette remarked.

William and I got back to the food, not wanting to waste any time so we could listen the radio as soon as possible.

‘What’s up with you two?’ Bette said, pushing wisps of hair from her face that had been flustered by the wind.

‘Just hungry!’ William said cheerily. ‘Thant’s all!’

After dinner, we told Bette that we would be happy to do the washing up. She thanked us for being ‘good kids’ and left us for an early night. As soon as she was out of ear shot, William clicked on the radio and turned it to the station we’d found a few weeks ago. We’d done this a few times since, when Bette was out of the house, but were yet to hear anything new.

After half an hour of slow dish washing, the news bulletin jingle began, and our ears pricked up.

‘News from Britain tonight, the Conservative and Labour Parties have formed an emergency coalition government this morning. After weeks of dissent against the Green Party, the Prime Minister stepped down, leaving his Party to flounder. Now comes news that the Queen is back in the country. Unconfirmed sources say she’s been holding emergency meetings at Windsor Castle to determine what action to take amid the rapid decline of the Green Party and the Republic. The Republic are still in control of Buckingham Palace, but large protests have been taking place in the last two days from members of the public. We spoke to a political reporter at the scene earlier’

Over the crackle of the radio, an English voice began to speak with the jeers of what sounded like hundreds of people in the background.

‘We’re here outside Buckingham Palace, where people continue to stream into this landmark to protest against the Republic. As you can hear, the atmosphere is tense to say the least. The Green Party have insisted that the Republic have had no influence on their politics, yet the country has aimed its anger towards the group who spearheaded the Revolution last summer. While never officially dissolved by law, there is widespread support for the return of the Monarchy; however some still insist that they have no place in 21st Century Britain’

The voice switched back to the Iowan radio DJ, ‘and now for a weather warning, torrential rain and winds…’

William switched the radio off with a heavy click. We looked at each other, and I imagined my expression was the same as his. The look that said the storm was rolling in.

*

Once I had bathed George, William took over and sat with him on the couch as he drank his bottle of milk. I leant against our bedroom door frame and observed him entertaining George with his exaggerated hand movements and voices.

‘ “Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman,” cried out the ogre; “I smell him, wife, I smell him” ’ he said, growling at George, then changed his voice to a high pitched cackle.  ‘ “Do you, my dearie?” says the ogre’s wife. “Then if it’s that little rogue that stole your gold and the hen that laid the golden eggs he’s sure to have got into the oven.” ‘

George chuckled and so did I.

‘Right that’s quite enough excitement for one night Georgie’. He closed the book that was on his lap, scooped him up over his shoulder and carried him into the bedroom. ‘We’ll see what happens to Jack tomorrow’

‘You make quite the scary giant’ I said when he’d joined me on the couch a few minutes later. I stroked my hands over his back and leant against his shoulder. ‘Are you ok?’

‘I’m fine, just tired’ he said, slipping his hand between my knees. ‘We’ll talk tomorrow’

‘The last time you said that, you weren’t there in the morning’ I teased, poking him in the ribs.

‘I’m not gonna leave you again’ he said sternly.

There were times I had to push William to open up and talk to me because I knew he needed to. Then there were times that I needed to give him time to untangle his own thoughts before he could relay them to me. This was one of the times where words weren’t appropriate.

I curled closer to him and kissed along his jawline and felt his body relax immediately. He leant back in the seat and closed his eyes as I moved my hand under his shirt and stroked his torso which had become defined and hard since he’d been working on the farm. I swiftly positioned myself on his lap, and although his eyes were still shut, he knew my body well enough to hitch up my skirt and tug down my underwear in one seamless movement.

We were only kissing for a few minutes before I unbuckled his belt and pulled down his zip to release him. This wasn’t a time for whispering sweet nothings; it was a time to give him the release he needed. As I slid on top of him he clutched my behind and dug his face deep into my neck, letting out low, heavy murmurs of pleasure.  

William held onto my hips as I grinded into him, willing him to forget his worries for just a moment. And forget them he did because his final murmur became so loud that when he was ready, I pushed his head into my chest to soften the noise.

He tilted his head back when it was over, and it was only after he’d regained his senses that he pulled me close and whispered a grateful ‘thank you’ into my hair.

*

Encouraged by the radio report, we decided that the next day, we would try and find the crow man again to use his mobile phone. I hadn’t told William out loud that what we’d heard on the radio had bought me round to his way of thinking. I now agreed that the blue saloon probably was following us, but couldn’t admit it to him. I desperately wanted to be right about him being paranoid so had dug my heels in and insisted it was a coincidence. But deep down, I knew there was more to it, and I knew the reason I had denied it was because I didn’t want anything to ruin the life we’d created for ourselves.

Late afternoon on the Monday, I walked into town alone to try and find him. It was another hot, cloudless day, so William had stayed at home with George. Crow man was a creature of habit and we often saw him digging around in the old antique shop.

As I rounded the corner of the main street, my hair in a messy pony tail and dressed in a second hand t-shirt and denim shorts, I savoured the moment. I had always thought of America as the king of the media-driven world; a commercialised and plastic place that would never be somewhere I’d want to live. Four years before, we had visited Los Angeles and saw for ourselves the frenzy that we caused.

Now everything had changed. America had provided us with the safe haven we needed and we’d grown to love it as home. We loved the way we could walk in public looking a mess and no one cared. We loved that George could run free and grow up with a life without cameras in his face. Most of all, we loved being Bill, Libby and Alexander, an anonymous generic family, just like everyone else.

I turned around to enjoy the rustic main street of Redfern, wondering if we’d be able to stay here much longer. As I looked into the rapidly setting sun, a shift of darkness caught my attention next to the butchers. In a second it was gone, but as I turned around once more, I saw it again.

In the doorway of the butchers stood a tall figure, dressed all in black. I turned forward again, pretending I hadn’t seen him. No one in Redfern would wear dark trousers, heavy boots and a thick jacket. My heart rate quickened as I passed Mary’s and neared the antique shop. I peered through the glass of the shop, hoping to see the old crow, but all I saw were full shelves of antiques.

I suddenly became aware of being the only person on the street. I stayed still at the window for a moment longer and squinted. In the reflection of the glass, I could see the man. He’d followed me down the street and was now on the other side of the road, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking into the thrift store. Now I had a better look of him, I noticed his short, almost shaved blond buzz cut and stony features.

The sweat on my hands started to seep out and I wiped them hastily on my shorts. Moving cautiously, I turned back the way I’d come, willing myself not to run. From the corner of my eye, I noticed him sauntering behind me.

After a few steps, I looked up, and like a guardian angel, saw the sign for Mary’s Inn above my head. Without hesitation, I slipped through the wooden door and slammed it shut behind me. I leant against it, my chest heaving.

‘Don’t you look spooked?’ a voice said from the stairs.

‘Mary, hi’ I said breathily.

She appeared from the staircase, with an expression of pleasure at seeing me, which quickly turned to concern.

‘You ok Libby?’ she said.

I nodded and gulped down my panic. ‘Yeah, I just, there’s just…’

I couldn’t tell her, of course I couldn’t. What would I say? There’s a strange man following me, call the police? I turned to look through the window that was so dirty; it barely let in any light. I couldn’t see the man.

‘Are you hiding from someone?’ Mary said, pressing me.

‘No’ I replied too quickly. I realised I needed a reason as to why I was in here. ‘Um, I was wondering if you knew how I could find someone’

‘Sure’, concern was still in her voice.

I licked my lips which felt completely dry and pulled myself away from the door. ‘I don’t know his name; he likes to collect things though’

Mary looked puzzled and I suddenly felt frustrated. Having access to the phone was more important now than ever.

‘He’s short and hasn’t got many teeth’ I said, waving my hands around ‘…he likes shiny things and is always in the antiques shop’. I cursed myself for never asking him his name.

‘Ohhhh’ Mary said and I breathed a sigh of relief, ‘Jim? Yeh he lives a couple rows behind us. You’ll know his place, it’s the one with all the crap in the front yard’

I thanked her and made to leave.

‘Are you sure you’re ok?’ she said before I could.

‘Yep’ I said chirpily as I approached the door, ‘I’ll see you soon ok?’

Her voice was anxious as the word escaped her lips, ‘Kate?’

I froze on the spot.

She knew.

My mouth dried up again as my blood ran cold. ‘How did you…?’ I said, turning to face her.

‘This may be a small town, but you guys are pretty well known’ she said, offering a smile. ‘Plus that rock on your hand didn’t help’

I looked down at my left hand, which just had my wedding and eternity ring on it. I’d taken my engagement ring off after William had suggested that it was a giveaway of who we were. 

‘You’ve known all along?’ I whispered.

Mary shrugged, ‘yeah’

I backed away, feeling the panic slowly rising. Mary reached out, seeing that I desperately wanted to leave.

‘You don’t have to worry’ she said, her face soft with kindness, ‘I haven’t told anyone, I swear!’

I shook my head, my instincts failing me. I didn’t know whether to believe a word she was saying. What if she was holding me in here while the man waited for me outside? What if they took me the way they had taken William?

I suddenly felt the gravity of what had happened to him on my shoulders. How could I have been so cold and uncaring when we first found him? If he felt even half the terror that I felt now, I had no right to have punished him the way I did.

‘Please just let me go’ I said shakily.

She looked dumbfounded for a moment, ‘of course you can go’

‘Will he be waiting for me outside?’ my voice was more confident now.

‘What? You mean that guy that’s outside? I thought they were your bodyguards Kate? They’ve been here for weeks now’

They. That meant there were more of them lurking in the shadows.

‘It doesn’t matter’ I said suddenly.

Mary’s expression turned to one of pure bewilderment; the sort of confusion that was hard to fake. I turned again to leave.

‘Wait! Is everything ok? I saw on the news what’s been happening in London. Can I do something to help you guys?’

I considered for a second that I could ask to use her phone, rather than give every last thing we owned to the crow man. But it was too much of a risk. William and I had only used the crow man’s phone, thinking it was safe, but at that moment, nothing seemed secure anymore. Should we have used a different phone every time?

‘No…no thank you’

‘Wait – here’. Mary grabbed a pen from the bar and scribbled something down on a newspaper that was lying there. She tore the scrap off and handed it to me. ‘I know you don’t trust me, I can see it in your eyes, but if you need anything, this is my number’

I took the torn piece of paper and pushed it into my back pocket. Despite my reservations, I couldn’t help but thank her again.

She nodded and said ‘Sweetie, if I was gonna call the local paper about you, I would’ve done it by now. Good luck’.

It was her way of saying good bye.  

I left Mary’s just as the sun had begun to set. Looking furtively left and right, I was relieved yet anxious not to see the man anywhere. I wanted to get home before it got dark, so power walked the short distance to Jim’s house, listening out for any noise behind me.

Mary was right about how easy it would be to find his home. The small square patch of grass in front of the house was covered in rusting garden furniture, Greek style statues and other little ornaments. I weaved through it all and gave the chipping door a quick rap.

It opened a few inches and I saw the crow man’s nose come into view.

‘Hi Jim! Just me!’ I tried to sound normal, using his name for the first time in six months.

‘Oh hey there’, he said widening the door. The hallway behind him was just as I’d imagined; cluttered floor to ceiling with piles of what could either be junk or antiques.

I cut to the chase, ‘I was hoping to use the phone again’

‘No problem ma’am’ he limped off and returned again with it in his hand.

I pulled out a large wad of dollars from my pocket. He eyed the money and scrunched up his nose. For such an inoffensive looking man, he drove a hard bargain. I noticed his eyes were fixed on my left hand; I didn’t need to read his mind.

‘Pretty ring’ he crowed, and I thanked the heavens that I wasn’t wearing my engagement ring. I looked down at the eternity ring William had given me. A simple band that was circled with diamonds. I was astonished when William presented me with it, and chided him for spoiling me. He, in return, grinned widely because he knew how touched I was.

I pushed my sentimentality away, ‘if you want this, then I think I should be able to keep the phone’

He screwed up his nose again.

‘You know it’s fair’ I said, the fire retuning to my belly.

‘Oh alright’ he said, displeased, and handed me the phone. I slipped off the ring, clutching it in my fist for a moment before dropping it into his palm.

*

My journey back to the farm was taken at a run once I got onto Bette’s land. The wind had started to blow, sending the dust into my eyes. Above me, dark clouds loomed.

I burst through the door of the outhouse, out of breath and sweating head to toe.

William was playing with George on the floor, chasing after him on his hands and knees. ‘There you are! What took you so long?’

He took a proper look at me, and got off the floor, his face grave, ‘what’s happened?’

I relayed the whole story from start to finish and watched as he squeezed the back of the couch to control his anger, or maybe it was fear.

‘We need to get out of here, first thing tomorrow’, he said, and I could see the cogs turning in his mind.

‘What if they come for us tonight?’ I said, panicked.

‘They know you’ve seen them; they’ll be expecting us to leave straight away. Call your parents, and tell them we’re moving on’

George began pulling at my leg and I picked him up and pressed my lips against his head before taking out the phone and switching it on.

The battery sign flashed aggressively at me. It was on its very last legs. ‘I think there’s only enough battery left for one call’

‘So?’ he said, pacing the room.

‘So, don’t you want to call your family too?’

He walked up to me and cupped his hands around my face, ‘it’s ok baby, just call them’

I pressed down the off switch, ‘I’ll do it later tonight’.

As much as I wanted to, I had to give William the option of contacting his family instead. They were, after all, the ones in danger. My mother had re-assured us that she’d passed on all of our messages to Harry, but William hadn’t spoken to a single member of his family since we got here. He’d always put my needs before his.

‘Will’ I said nervously. ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’

His brow furrowed. ‘I thought we’d decided not to go back, have you changed your mind?’ I couldn’t tell whether it was curiosity or hope in his voice that I heard.

‘No’ I said honestly, shifting George to my other hip. ‘But this needs to be a joint decision. I know you want to make me happy, but if you want to go home…’

‘You love it here. We love it here’ he said, touching Geroge’s arm. ‘And wherever we go next, we’ll love too – once we’re settled’

‘Yes but your family, they need you -‘

‘Shh’, he placed his fingertips over my mouth to reassure me, but I could saw a flicker of pain pass over his eyes. ‘They’ll be ok, we’ll go back one day – to visit – this is our opportunity, we’d be stupid not to take it’

I nodded. I’d only thought briefly about where we’d go and what our lives would turn into next. There were a million questions to consider. How would we make money when we left the farm? How would George get into a school? What would happen if we ever needed medical help? It’s not like we were there legally.

But these weren’t the questions that were bothering me; those would be sorted out eventually. Deep down, all William wanted was freedom for the three of us. Neither of us had considered it would come at such a high cost. The battle in my mind swarmed around my head. William was willing to give up his family and his duty for us, yet if it wasn’t for George and me, I knew he’d be on the next plane home.

We ate dinner in silence as the wind and incoming rain lashed against the windows. At intervals, both of us snapped our heads around when the gusts created particularly loud bangs against the house. It would have been funny in any other situation; the way we looked up in unison like meerkats every few minutes. Dread filled our little home, but this time, mercifully, William had chosen not to hide it from me.

Later that night he blustered around the house collecting everything we might need on the road the next day. I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping, so told him to leave the packing to me.

‘We need food for the bus journey’ he said frantically.

We didn’t know where we’d be going, but had decided we’d take the first bus out of town, which left at six. We couldn’t steal the pick-up truck.

‘I’m gonna go into Bette’s pantry and take some food’ William said. It was too late to go out and buy supplies and it would be too early to buy some the next day.

I agreed that it was the best idea. Bette had been so good to us, and stealing from her wasn’t something we wanted to do. But it was the only option we had. William waited until around ten when he knew Bette would be asleep before leaving, the wind slamming the door shut behind him.

George slept soundly in his cot despite the noise while I packed the rest of our things. I marvelled that while William had arrived here with nothing, and George and I with just three bags, we’d somehow managed to amass piles of belongings.

There were clothes strewn over our bed, and toys and books all over the floor. I knew we couldn’t take it all, so carefully chose George’s favourite things and placed them into the bags. I picked up Ronald from the cot and breathed in his freshly washed scent. I reminded myself not to forget him tomorrow.

‘What’s going on?’ a voice said behind me.

My heart almost jumped into my throat and I whipped around.

‘God, Bette you scared me’ I said, touching my hand to my heart.

Bette was standing in her dressing gown, her already wispy hair standing up, and her face tired.

‘I heard a noise downstairs and when I looked out the window, I noticed your light still on’ she looked over at the mess in our bedroom, and at the bags on the floor. ‘Where you going?’

My mind buzzed. We weren’t going to tell her we were leaving. It would be safer for her that way. ‘We’re just going away for a few days’ I said, averting my eyes from hers.

‘Bill didn’t say anything about wanting time off’ her brow creased.

‘I know it’s a bit sudden, but I’ll get him to drop in to explain tomorrow’ I walked into the living room, collecting a few more bits along the way.

It was wrong to lie to her; William wouldn’t do anything of the sort.  Bette followed behind me, I still couldn’t look at her.

‘We’ll be back before you know it’

‘Sure you will’

A force slammed into my back, knocking me forwards. A wash of blurs flooded my eyes and my legs buckled, sending me down before I had time to think. In that millisecond, my heart sped up, and my body became rigid with shock. The last thing I heard was the crack of my head hitting the floor.

*

I opened my eyes a fraction, so they were just slits. Black and red dots danced in front of them. It was a moment before I registered the rest of my body, my legs felt like jelly, yet my back was tight, the muscles pulling in every direction. My face was squashed against the cold floor and as my senses returned, I smelt something metallic near to me. Blood.

My arms were outstretched and I wiggled a finger. It hurt, in fact my whole body hurt. That moment of realisation that I was alive and still moving was replaced in an instant.

‘George?’ I said, yet it came out as a whisper.

‘George?’ I repeated. I pushed myself up, unsticking myself from the floor. I looked around the room, letting it come back into focus before I tried to stand up.

When the room stood still, I grabbed onto the back of the couch and hurled myself to my feet. It was too quick and the blood rushed to my head. I placed a hand on my temple, and when I took it away, my fingers had turned bright red.

‘Will?’ I croaked. ‘George?’

I stumbled into the bedroom. Everything was as I’d left it. Except when I looked over to the cot, just like I’d feared and felt the moment I’d woken up; it was empty.

‘No. No no no’ I cried, stumbling towards the front door. The moment I opened the door, the wind and rain smacked into my face, threatening to force me back inside.

I ploughed ahead, squinting to find any sign of life. There was nothing around me, the only sounds were the creaks trees as the wind attacked them. I looked over to Bette’s house and squinted again through the rain. A faint glow was coming from the kitchen.

I moved as fast as I could with the elements working against me and my legs wobbling. ‘Will!’ I screamed.

I used the full weight of my body when I reached the back door and it whipped open. Everything looked so normal; the chipped worktops, the old pots and pans hung up against the wall. It seemed ridiculous that it could stay the same when my life was hurtling around me like a tornado. 

There was a banging coming from somewhere. At first I thought it was just the house, yet it was frantic and determined. I looked to the corner of the small kitchen, where the door to the pantry was firmly shut and bolted.

I rushed over without thinking and pressed my hands against the door, ‘Will?’

His voice came, fast as lightning ‘Kate!’

My fingers shook over the bolt and the door swung open from the inside. William came flying out, crashing into me.

‘Are you ok, are you ok?’ he said, holding my head to him. Relief flooded me and I gripped his shirt. He pulled away suddenly and wiped the blood off my temple. ‘What happened?’

The words came out muddled and confused, ‘She taken him…she hit me…Bette’

William’s face drained of colour, ‘where is she?’

‘I don’t know Will, she just, I’m so sorry…she’s taken him’ my face started to burn.

‘She can’t have got far’ he pulled my hand like a ragdoll and we rushed back outside.

I don’t know how long I was out for, but William’s reaction made me think it can’t have been that long. ‘How long were you in there?’ I shouted over the wind.

‘She locked me in fifteen minutes or so ago’ he shouted back.

Had it only been fifteen minutes? Every second without George seemed like a lifetime. William looked into the distance, towards the entrance of the farm.

‘Where is he Will?!’ I was a stupid thing to say, but I could think of nothing else.

‘I can’t see any cars up there’ he said. ‘If they’ve taken George, they’ll want me too’

We turned the corner to where I’d first found him next to his pick-up truck. Both his car and Bette’s small Chevy were still there.

Amongst the battering noises against the windows, a tiny sound drummed my ears.

‘Did you hear that?’ I said to Will.

‘What?’ he said, pushing the rain off his face.

I walked past the cars quickly, ‘the horse’

William followed a step behind me, ‘what?’

‘The horse Will!’ I shouted impatiently. ‘He sleeps during the night’

William’s face filled with comprehension. We started to run towards the stable, our ears straining to hear the loud whine of the horse again. The door was ajar and I saw William’s chest heave with hope. We pushed it open.

There, at the back of the room stood Bette, George wrapped in a blanket in her arms. They were feeding the horse hay like it was the most normal thing in the world. There was just a single wall light in the room, but I could tell that though sleepy, George was unharmed. 

‘Bette’ I said.

She turned around nonchalantly, casting her gaze over the two of us. I took a step forward. ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you’ she said in a voice that was unfamiliar.

‘Just give him to us’ William snarled.

‘I don’t think so’ she glanced behind our heads.

William and I looked at each other, evidently thinking the same thing. She was waiting for someone to arrive.

‘There’s no need for you to keep him, just give him to us, you’re scaring him’ I pleaded.

George was sitting calmly on her hip. He’d gotten so used to her. She’d taken care of him and played with him. Of course he wasn’t scared. She laughed dryly.

William’s eyes were narrowing and I knew he wanted to pounce on her.

‘Don’t try anything’ she said tightening her grip.

‘You wouldn’t hurt him’ William said.

‘And how do you know that?’ she smiled.

I wanted to hurt her just as much as William did but we had to try a different tact. ‘Who are you?’

Bette laughed again, ‘I’m exactly who you think I am’ she said, her voice drawling. ‘I own this farm’

‘Who are you working for’ William tried I sound as calm as me but failed.

‘Who do you think?’ she said, playing with George’s toes. ‘You think you just turn up here and some dumb old lady takes you on without asking a single question?’

William turned away, angry at his own naivety. 

‘So what now?’ I asked. ‘You’re just gonna hold us here until whoever gets here?’

‘I’ll do what I was paid to do’ she looked at me with disgust.

‘We trusted you’ 

‘Then you’re idiots. You really thought you’d be left here to play happy families? We’ve been watching you, making sure you didn’t do anything stupid. But you had to go and ruin it. They would’ve left you alone if you didn’t try to run’

William was fuming now, his body heaving. I held onto his arm. 

But it was too late. He lunged forwards and Bette backed away, turning to the wall. 

George cried at the sudden movement and my heart tore.

‘Give him to me’ William roared.

Bette spun back around, her hand grasping a metal bar that she’d picked up. I realised that’s what she’d hit me with. She must’ve had it ready in a corner when she came to the house.

She swung at William but he stepped aside, sending her of balance. The bar hit the side of the stable instead, and as it did William pounced to her other arm, tearing George from her grasp.

He ran over to me and almost threw George into my arms. I wrapped my arms around him and rocked him.

Bette’s eyes were frantic. I couldn’t tell if it was her anger or fear of what would happen now she’d lost George. In a second, she walked calmly over to William and hit him straight on the back.

He fell to his knees, groaning in pain.

‘Stop it!’ I screamed.

‘Give me the baby’ she said in her old tone.

My protective instinct kicked in as William struggled to his feet. All this time, she’d been plotting and planning. If we had stepped out of line, tried to leave, she would’ve taken action against us. The cooking lessons, telling us to take a break; it was all a way to make us not want to leave this place.

Fire gripped my stomach, the anger of our precious six months turning out to be nothing but another cage.

I handed George to William once he’d regained his composure.

‘Kate what are you doing?’ he said, eyes wide.

I strode towards her and grabbed the bar. She tugged, but I placed both hands around it and pulled it from her grasp.

‘Don’t come near them’ I said in a low voice.

‘It won’t be me you need to worry about in a minute’ she said, with a slight shake to her voice.

She made a try for the bar again. I don’t know what made me do it. Rage? Animal instinct? But at that moment, without my brain seemingly connected to my body, I bought my free arm from my side and slapped her hard on the face.

She stumbled backwards, but before I could register her shock, William was pulling me out of the barn.

‘Let’s go!’ he was saying.

He pulled me outside and slammed the barn door shut, pulling down the latch.

‘They’ll find her eventually’ he said to me, like I’d care if they did. ‘We’ve got to go, I can’t see any one at the entrance, I’ll get the bags, you call home, we don’t know when we’ll get signal again’

We ran back to the outhouse and scooped up everything in sight, including the car keys. We had no reservations about taking the pick-up truck now.

William travelled back and forth to the car as I dressed George in something warmer. As he returned from his third trip, a light from stopped him in his tracks.

I looked up at the same time he did. Out at the entrance to the farm – the only exit – were a line of headlights.

‘We’re too late’ I breathed.

William paused.

I held his arm, my heart thudding, ‘can’t we call the police or something?’

He looked at me with apology in his eyes. ‘They won’t get here in time and I’m betting they’ve been paid off too’

I looked at the ground, desperately trying to think of someone that would help us.

He held me close, suddenly resigned , ‘they won’t hurt us Kate…they just want us out of the way. They’ll probably just take us somewhere remote again like they did to me’

The lights were still there but they weren’t moving any closer. ‘And that’s what you want?’

‘I know it’s not ideal, but if it keeps us safe’, he touched his fingers to the cut on my head.

‘We won’t be safe and happy at home now? I mean we were never really unhappy were we?’ I asked.

‘We agreed on this, it will make us happy eventually. Now call home, tell them what’s happening’. He kissed me and left to take more bags to the car.

He didn’t answer my question, at least he thought he hadn’t. But he had answered it in what he hadn’t meant to say. Eventually.

I picked the mobile phone up from the table and switched it on, staring down at the battery sign flashing at me. I reached into my back pocket and took out the scrap of paper. Eventually wasn’t good enough.

*

It only took twenty minutes. We’d packed everything in the car, with William’s optimism that they’d let us drive ourselves to wherever we were going.

We were in the middle of the living room when they came, arms wrapped around each other with George sandwiched between us. We didn’t know why they were waiting. Perhaps they were waiting for Bette to get in touch or for us to try to escape before they captured us.

Either way it gave us precious time.

Lights came flooding through the windows, lighting up the farm.

‘What the…?’ William let go of me and shielded his eyes to get a better look, ‘how many more of them have they sent?’

‘It’s not them’ I said blankly, following him outside.

He hadn’t seemed to have heard me, ‘why do they need so many cars?!’

‘It’s not them!’ I said louder. He looked to me and I tilted my head, ‘I’m sorry’

His eyes widened, ‘what have you done?’

‘I’m sorry’ I said again.

He held my face in his hands, ‘Kate, what have you done? Who are they?!’ His voice was ragged and tired.

Tears welled in my eyes, ‘I had to do it, there wasn’t another way, we’d be pushed around from place to place and our freedom would be on their terms for the rest of our lives’

I knew William still didn’t understand but he didn’t try to force me, just kept his hands on my face as the weather played havoc around us.

‘It’s the press’ I said finally.

His face dropped. ‘What?’

‘They’re the only people that could help us. You said yourself the police were probably corrupt. They’re the only people who could get here in time and the only people they can’t control…’ I pointed to the cars that were waiting to take us away. The people probably sent by Steven and Alec. These were the people behind the Revolution.

The press had fueled the fire of the Revolution and now it came like a deluge to wash it out.

‘Please don’t be angry, you know leaving wouldn’t be right’

William released his grip on my face and watched as more lights appeared in the distance.

It was Mary who had put the thought into my head. She had said that if she wanted to expose us, then she would’ve called the paper by now. At the time, I recoiled at the thought of the press infiltrating our little hidden nest like snakes in the grass. But as I called her and told her to ring the local paper and do that very thing, in fact to ring the biggest and most media outlets she could find, I acknowledged they were our only hope.

‘We’ll never get the lives we hoped for now, you know that’ he said to me. It wasn’t chiding or angry, but just a confirmation of the finality that I already knew.

No matter how disappointed he was, I know as William took George from me, his little body shivering in the rain and looked at the gash on my head; a result of our fight for our ‘freedom’, that our dreams would always be just out of reach. 

I took his hand and he held it securely. We walked away from the house and onto the path that led away from the farm. The rain poured down onto us and the wind flew threw the fields, around and between us. 

We stopped in the middle of the path when we came into view of the cars, holding tightly onto each other. The lights seemed to turn and focus in our direction, piercing through the dark and shined onto us, once more.

Epilogue

‘Are you ok?’ he muttered into my ear.

‘Yeah, fine, just a bit nervous’ I replied, taking a deep breath.

‘And you GB?’ 

George shouted a response which we took to be a yes.

William placed a hand on my back and lead me outside. The cheers went up immediately, the streams of red, white and blue colouring the masses of bodies below. 

It was amazing how little, yet how much had changed. Just five months on and it was like it had never happened. The Queen stood waving gratefully. It wasn’t a gesture that said she was grateful to be alive or not exiled, but one that thanked the people for keeping the faith in her.

That was the thing about duty, just when you thought you’d escaped it, it would bind itself around you and reel you back in. 

When we’d left Iowa, William had bargained with the press immediately. Kept our secret, and we’d give them an interview and more access to our family. They agreed, and somehow those beautiful few months had remained ours to savour.

William and I waved, as did George, who was loving the attention. He should get used to this, I thought. He’ll be doing it now every June for the rest of his life.

A flutter passed through my stomach and I placed my hand on it.

William shot me a look immediately, speaking through his smile, ‘you sure you’re ok?’

I touched his arm, ‘yes, stop worrying about us’

There on that balcony we were exposed to the world again. A world so different to the one we were determined to live in. The Revolution was over, a new government formed, the monarchy returned to its place, and a new hope blossomed in the country.

A new hope, that if you read the newspapers, was symbolised by something tiny, perfect and innocent, curled up inside me.

The one, beautiful thing we’d bought back from Redfern.

This is where that story ended and a new one began.

The End

[chuckbass-love]

Why Him? | Ransom Drysdale | Part 6

A/N : Thank you so much guys for the likes on the previous parts to this fic. I hope you like this part. Some really good parts coming up too. If I haven’t already said, this is set years before the events of Knives Out. 

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3. However, reblogs are welcome.

Why Him? MASTERLIST

Warnings : SMUT

Claudia’s POV

My eyes open and i groan at the loud sound of my alarm, reaching my hand out to turn it off. “Good morning doll” he’s still here. “Good morning” i smile to myself, rubbing my eyes. “So daddy huh? didn’t take you as a girl with a daddy kink” oh shit. I avoid making eye contact with him as i get off the bed and walk round the room, butt naked. I stand near his side of the bed and he pulls me down, making me squeal. “It just came out” i try to lie to avoid more embarrassment “Now now doll, no need to lie” he smirks, the amusement he has of knowing something about me. “I have to pack and you’re distracting me” i state, trying to worm my way out of his grasp but failing. “You know, that’s no way to talk to daddy” my heart skips a beat. He likes it. My mind starts racing back to the steamy events of last night. Still sore from how rough he is. I stand up and walk slow to the bathroom. I look into the bathroom mirror and immediately notice the hickey on my neck. He didn’t hold back. I turn the shower on and get in when it’s the perfect temperature. I can’t believe what happened last night. I can’t believe i slept with him.

Ransom’s POV

I can’t believe it. Everything is going so well with her. It’s like it just comes so easy to both of us and i feel so comfortable around her. If things stay this good between us then i fear it will head towards me introducing my family to her and to be quite frank, i don’t think either of us are ready for that. I don’t want to scare her away. It’s not my parents or grandad it’s Meg, Joni and Walt. They hate me, always have done and always will. My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the shower turning on, my head filled with so many ideas. Time for a little fun. I stand up, still naked from last night’s antics. I walk into the bathroom to see her washing her hair. Not for long. 

I step in, making her jump when she opens her eyes. “So beautiful doll” she bites her lips as she continues with what she’s doing. I trail my fingers all over her body, she’s trying to hold back a smile “Stop” she giggles, pushing me away slightly. I reach my hand down, brushing my fingers across her exposed sex, she flinches the sudden touch “Ransom” she moans out. “You like it when daddy touches you like that doll?” i mumble into her ear, she rests her head forward on my shoulders as i continue to rub figure eights on her clit “Ugh fuck” she throws her head back, letting the water fall on her face and neck. “I need to pac- SHIT” i insert two fingers inside of her without warning. “That’s it, cum on daddy’s fingers” i grip her face with force, making her look at me as i pleasure her.

I pull my fingers out, seeing the mess she made on them and i bring them up to my mouth, licking them clean. She whimpers at the sight before turning the shower off and shoving past me to get out. Wrapping the towel around her body and walking into the other room. I follow her, still naked. She starts getting ready. She knows exactly what she’s doing to me. She slips on sweatpants and a baggy top. Towel drying her hair too. “Sit down” she demands, looking back at me. 

I take a seat on the edge of the bed and she makes her way in between my legs, lowering herself down to her knees. She starts jerking my dick as she locks her eyes onto mine. She drives me crazy. I watch as she starts licking the tip, ridding me of the pre cum. One hand jerking me as she starts to take me into her mouth and the other playing with my balls. I throw my head back, the pleasure is insane. “Look at me daddy” this woman. She takes me to the back of her throat, bottoming me out and gagging a little. “You take me so well” she looks up again, making sure to give me direct eye contact as she takes all of me. “Fuck doll, don’t stop” i groan, gripping her hair in my hands. “Look at me when you cum daddy” she mumbles, her mouth still full. “I’m cumming” and just like that, i reach my peak. Filling her mouth up. I look at her in pure amazement as she swallows all of me. 

She stands up and continues to pack, acting like that was nothing. Now is probably time to get dressed myself. “So will i be seeing you again when we get back to Boston?” i ask, nervously. My insecurities creeping out. “What makes you think that you won’t?” she glances at me “I just wasn’t sure if we were on the same page” i explain “And what page is that?” her face now just inches from mine as i’m on the bed. “The dating kind” i state. She kisses me “I guess we are”.

*LATER THAT DAY*

Claudia’s POV

It feels so good to be home, i step foot out of my shower and into my bedroom to get into my pyjamas. I always shower after a flight. I wonder into my bathroom to turn the light off when i finish changing. I hear my phone ringing from the bed. I walk over to see it’s a FaceTime call from James. “Sup bitch” i greet as his face appears on the screen “How was New York? we’ve not spoken since before you left” i flop onto my bed and let out a breath of relief, that i’m back in my own bed tonight. 

“It was so good, okay i met Anna fucking Wintour” he’s gay and has always idolised her. “YOU DID NOT” he squeals making me almost fall off my bed from laughing. “She’s a darling, i can’t even believe it. I worked with Amy Astley mostly and Anna helped out when needed but yeah i did so much, dressed and styled models. The best experience ever” his eyes grow wide, smiling from ear to ear. “What’s new with you?” i ask as i head downstairs to make myself a hot drink, resting my phone on the stand. 

“Well, Luke is seeing someone, he’ll tell you all the details eventually. He met her at the bar the other day. Darcy is well Darcy and Me well my life is boring and you met Anna Wintour” i throw my head back in fits of giggles at his annoyed state. “I’m sorry okay, Sure there’s no gossip?” i pout, i was hoping for a good old bitch fest with my best friend. He shakes his head, trying to think. 

“Oh, i didn’t mention Britney. Jake cheated and you’ll never guess who with” i start pouring the hot water into my mug “Wai-” the door-bell goes. “Who’s at my door this late” i wonder, James raises his eyebrows “A booty call perhaps?” i give him the ‘yeah right” look. Waiting for the right time timing to tell him and the others about Ransom. I head to the door, opening it and looking around. No one is here. I then look down to see a large bouquet of roses. Wonder who these are from.

I take them into the kitchen, flashing them towards the camera for James to see. “Who sent you roses?” i furrow my brows, pulling the note from the side of the bouquet. It reads :

‘Claudia,

I’ve had the greatest time with you the past few days

I’d love to continue getting to know you more

Meet me at 1387 Chow-Stone Road tomorrow

5:00pm

Wear something fancy doll

Lots of love

Ransom x’

I cover my face with my hands instantly. This man is something else. I don’t realise i’m in my own world until i hear James talking. “So who are they from?” he asks, once again being that i ignored him the first time. “So i met a guy” he grins, squealing so loud, i swear one day i’m gonna lose my hearing. “Tell me about him” my cheeks heat up like crazy as my mind flashes through all the times i’ve had with Ransom so far, leading me to fill James in about it all.

“YOU HAD SEX?” he shouts, i give him the shush signal but he doesn’t listen. “My neighbours will hear at this rate but yes to answer your question. We had sex and let me tell you. I’ve never had an experience like that before” i take a sip of my tea. My mind yet again racing through the events of last night and this morning. “He is the biggest i’ve ever had and the tongue skills” James widens his eyes “Oh dayum, You have to rub it in don’t you? Not all of us are getting laid here” my cheesy grin coming out to play. “It says to wear something fancy. James you have to help me” instant panic shoots over me. I grab my phone and head up to my closet. 

“Okay, do i go with the red or the blue” i hold up two dresses, the same but just in different colours. “The red one all the way” i agree as i hang it up, ready for tomorrow. “Wear red lacy underwear too and black heels” perks of having a gay best friend. He’s got the best advice, fashion and relationship wise. We end the call eventually as the sudden wave of tiredness flies over me. My bed is calling. 

*THE NEXT DAY*

4:00pm rolls around and i’ve just showered, done my makeup and styled my hair. Now time for the finishing touches. The dress and shoes. I zip it up and walk to my bed, sitting on the edge to put my heels on. I never dress up like this but i can’t say i don’t enjoy it. Aside from the heels that is. I lock up and make my way to my car to drive to the address he gave. As i pull up, i see a small Italian restaurant, my favourite. I park up and head inside. Ransom is sat at the candle lit table. The restaurant is empty. “Hi” he smiles as he lays his eyes upon me. “Hi” i walk over slowly, trying not to look overly keen by rushing. Silly i know.

“You look incredible” he looks me up and down, taking a deep breath. “Not so bad yourself Drysdale” i wink as i go to sit down, he pulls the chair out for me. “I was worried you weren’t gonna come. He confesses. He looks so nervous. “Are you okay?” i ask him, a hint of worry in my voice. “I’m fine it’s just, seeing you like this, it’s driving me crazy” i stare at him with surprise as i eye him up. He orders drinks and food for us both, i get lost in his appearance. He’s wearing a full blown suit. The effort he’s gone to for tonight is making my stomach do backflips. He’s so handsome under the candle light that fills the place. Not a single ceiling light on.

Our drinks arrive and i sip at it slowly as we make conversation. The one thing i’m dying to ask but i’m unsure. He notices. “What is it doll? You look bothered” there’s that nickname again, my legs turning to jelly. “I just, ever since you briefly brought it up the other night. I wanted to as-” he cuts me off “You want to know more about my family?” how did he know? “Well what did you want to know?” he sips his drink, a non-alcoholic beer since he will have to drive home. “You said that they’ve always hated you and always will. What makes you think that?” i purse my lips, staring him directly in the eye. Awaiting his answer.

“Well my cousin Meg calls me a trust fund prick if that’s some insight. Joni, Meg’s mom just thinks i’m troubled. Doesn’t stop her making digs at me to get a rise though and Walt, my uncle. He’s quite something. My last girlfriend said he asked her if she was my hooker” this isn’t family. That’s not how families behave. Not going to lie, the thought of meeting them makes me nervous but the thought of them putting him down is worse. “You know that’s no way to treat family. No matter how much they might hate you. I think it’s wrong and i’m sorry you have to put up with that” i hold his hand across the table and he nods in agreement when our food arrives. 

We spend the next hour or so just talking and joking around with each other. He’s just so different to how he was that Saturday night. So caring and gentleman like. It’s nice. I like him a lot.

A/N : I’m going to make a masterlist of this fic so all the parts will be in one place. I’ll link the masterlist on each part when i have done it. I’m proof reading and editing part 7 tonight and it will be up tomorrow afternoon.

[number-one-micoverse-fan]

Matters of the Heart

Sickfic for @mushroomminded because I know what she likes. 

*****************

“Dad? …Dad. Dad! DAD!”

Dom jolted in his seat, blinking rapidly to clear the film over his eyes and refocusing his attention on Cody. His son was leaning forward in his chair at the dining room table, brow furrowed in concern and not a little worry. Dominic forced his fuzzy mind to concentrate on the most important aspect of his life.

“Mm, yeah? Sorry, I—not awake yet. Coffee—need my coffee. What were you saying?” He murmured the words the words through a mouth that felt like it was made of wet and heavy clay.

Cody’s lips pressed into a thin line, bottom lip sucking in between his teeth as he looked his dad up and down, “I was…saying how Milo and I were planning on going to the Parker house again after school today. If that’s okay with you?”

There was a very slow moment wherein Dom struggled to put the pieces of Cody’s sentence together. But then he smiled warmly and nodded, “Sure, that shouldn’t be a…um. Should be fine. Take—just take your phones. Let, uh, let one of Milo’s dads know where you’ll be.”

Cody beamed, “We will! Thanks dad!”

Dom made a pleased noise of consent as Cody ducked his head to rapidly type something on his phone, no doubt letting his partner in crime know their plans were good to go. Dom breathed out a heavy and burden-laden breath, shoulders slumping as his eyelids slid closed once again.

It felt like only seconds later that Cody was waking him up with a quick hug and a shout goodbye as he ran out the door to school. Dom stared blankly at the empty chair his son had left behind, his mind tangling into a knot of stray and disconnected thoughts. He ran his fingertips distractedly over the polished woodgrain of the table, glazed eyes finding a middle distance in the pattern of the floor.

He didn’t realize he’d been dozing off again until his phone buzzed in his pocket with a reminder that he needed to get ready for work soon.

————

Dominic was reprimanded for dozing off at his desk three times.

Once, he fell asleep in the elevator.

His coworkers kept asking him if he felt all right, telling him maybe he should ask to go home. Dom kept waving them off with a thin and awkward smile and telling them he was fine, it was just a bit of stress, really, some coffee would wake him right up.

The drive home was stretched time from minutes into days, streetlights blurring into smears at the edges of his vision. Cars honked at him angrily when he drifted into their lane, the noise jolting him from his hazy stupor and snapping his focus back on the road.

The house was quiet and empty when he got back home, the lights off and the windows dark. Cody was undoubtedly still out and about with Milo. But that was all right, let the boy have his freedom. Dominic kicked his shoes off and shuffled into the sitting room, collapsing on the couch with a groan. He only intended to take a moment to breathe and unwind before he got up, changed, and started on dinner for Cody.

But the next thing he was aware of was being shaken awake by Cody and noticing how dark the room really was.

“Shoot, nh, s-sorry, Cody, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Dom heaved himself up, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and trying to shake the lagging dizziness from his mind, “I’ll get you something to eat in a minute, just let me—“

“Dad, you don’t have to, it’s okay, I ate at Milo’s,” Cody had his hand on Dom’s arm, fingers curled into the fabric of his father’s shirt sleeve, his face a mask of worry, “I came home and you were asleep on the couch and you were so tired this morning, I just thought I’d let you sleep. You needed it. Did you eat dinner, though? You probably should…”

Dom blinked at him, something twisting in his chest at the thought that Cody had to take care of him.

“I’m all right,” He said, a little hoarsely, swallowing a lump that was pressing hard against the inside of his throat, “Just, um, long day. I’ll get some dinner. Did you do your homework?”

————

Everything was starting to pile up.

Bills, work, obligations to Cody and the school, maintaining the house, the car, and social connections. With everything else he had to take care of, Dominic had started neglecting himself. But it wasn’t a big deal; a few nights missing sleep to do some work on the side, make some extra money, try and get some savings so he could do good by his son.

Shave a few hours off of sleep here.

Skip a few meals there.

It was nothing. Really, it was nothing. Of course he was dozing off every so often, he was working twice as hard as usual.

It wasn’t a big deal.

He’d get through this and on the other side would be a full night’s sleep and plenty of time with Cody.

————

Except he was halfway down the stairs one morning when his stomach lurched and his breath seized in his lungs. His fingers cramped, his arms curling in pain, a stabbing agony radiating from his chest.

His foot missed the step and he blacked out as the world pitched beneath him and the walls spun.

Dom hit the ground hard, driving what little breath he had from his lungs as he clutched at his shift front. He wasn’t even sure he’d stopped falling because the ceiling was still spinning around and around enough to make his mind feel as if it were in a blender, smearing along the sides of the inside of his skull.

Cody’s terrified face swam into view, shouting, his mouth moving, his words so muffled they were distant beats of sound from a faraway shore. Dominic tried to say something, tried to comfort his son, but his lungs weren’t working right and his chest ached with the pain of a blade slipped easily between his ribs. Exhaustion and adrenaline fear battled one another as he stared hopelessly up at Cody through watery eyes.

He blinked and Cody’s phone was in his hand.

Blink and there were more voices, thudding footsteps.

Blink and there were strangers over him, hands on him, pressing against his wrist, his neck.

Blink and he was off the floor, rattling on something, sweet oxygen pouring into his strangled lungs.

White lights and muffled beeps and voices and it sounded like someone was crying.

Dominic made a laborious effort to turn his head and managed to make out Cody, pressing against Dan Fuller’s side, shaking with tears.

God, no, please, no.

The last thing he’d wanted to do was make his son cry…

————

Dom rose into consciousness with a sluggish return to his senses. He first became aware of his body, laying down and feeling like one massive bruise, muscles sore and aching. Then a soft, rhythmic beeping, the shifting of another person, and his own, shallow breathing reached his ears. There was a soft light on his eyelids and he peeled them open, blinking the gummy blurs of sleep from his vision as he focused on the cream colored ceiling.

A second, more lucid assessment brought attention to the padded clamp over his finger (heart monitor?), the pinch in the back of his hand (intravenous line), and the thin rubber tubing around his face, tucked into his nose (oxygen). With a soft grunt, Dom tried to shift his weight and sit up, wincing at the tight feeling in his chest.

“Want me to call a nurse?”

Slower than he’d like, Dom turned his head and saw Jake Pierly slouched in a chair next to the hospital bed. He looked more drawn and tired than usual, the bags under his eyes deeper and darker. Milo was in a chair next to him, curled up in a position that looked a little uncomfortable, but sprawled in such a way that he had his head in Jake’s lap.

Dom automatically looked around for Cody. Jake noticed,

“Dan finally got Cody to get up and leave the room, get something to eat.” Jake said in a low voice so he didn’t wake the sleeping teenager. He was idly running his fingers through Milo’s hair, an almost absent motion, “He’d been in here all day, didn’t want to leave you alone. He was really worried.”

Licking his lips and throat clicking as he tried to work the dryness in his mouth away, Dom spoke in a cracked whisper, his voice hoarse as if he’d been screaming, “Wha’ happened…?”

Jake snorted softly, an ironic smile twisting one side of his mouth, “You had a heart attack, stupid. What did you think was going to happen after you’ve nearly been working yourself to death?” Dominic stared at him and Jake sighed, rolling his eyes, “Dom, even I know you can’t skip that much sleep without consequences. And I am the king of skipping sleep.” His expression softened, tired in the knowledge of things that were too heavy to put into words but too hard to carry alone,

“You know you could have asked for help, right? We’re right next door. If you ever need anything…I mean, Dan and I…” Pink dusted the tops of Jake’s ears and he shifted awkwardly, disturbing Milo who murmured in his sleep and clutched tighter at the hem of Jake’s shirt. Jake shushed him gently, brushing his Milo’s hair back from his freckled face,

“God, Dom, you’re practically a part of this family.”

Dom’s face felt hot and his eyes burned and he sniffed, turning his head away to look at the ceiling.

Part of the family.

He let out a breathy, unstable chuckle,

“Miranda’s gonna kill me…”

Jake laughed a little, “Yeah, she’s gonna kick your ass.”

“DAD!”

And then Cody was in his lap, face pressed into Dom’s collarbone, fingers digging into the papery hospital gown. Dom wrapped his arms around his son and held him tightly, ignoring the pressure in his chest and tugging of the IV line, ignoring Milo’s happy sounds and Dan’s relieved praise. Ignoring everything but the boy in his arms. He kept one arm around Cody’s back, put the other into his son’s hair, held him as close as he could and apologized in strangled whispers, promising to never do it again, promising he’d be better, grateful that he had who he did in his life.

Cody was his world, the real center of his universe. He’d done everything in his life for Cody.

And he’d be damned if he was going to let some stupid heart attack keep him away from the people he loved the most.

[mithranqueersmusings]

Baby, You’re A Rich Man XIX

Chapter: 19/28

Rating: T

Summary: Ringo could never understand why that group of three boys made him feel so uncomfortable, or why the way George looked at him sent him into a panic. After a chance encounter Ringo discovers the truth and has no clue what to do with the information.

Tags: AU - Gangsters, Slow Burn, Smut, Eventual Romance, Violence, Angst

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

"I think this calls for a celebration!" Paul shouted excitedly when they left the house and climbed back into George's car.

The excitement of the whole ordeal was still rushing through Ringo, his heart beating faster than normal and his fingers were itching for a cigarette. George held his hand tightly as they sat in the front, both of them with ridiculously large grins on their faces.

"What did you have in mind?" John asked, he seemed the most excited out of all of them.

"I say we head out for a real fab dinner, proper fancy like, since we're all big spenders now, eh Ringo?" Paul winked at him when he turned round with a smile "Then head out to the clubs, get borderline unconscious and see where the night takes us."

"Well you know I can't say no to that." John said with a grin.

"Not to put a downer on things, but can we at least get some sleep first?" George asked as he drove the car back onto the street "I'm still pretty knackered from last night."

"Sure, that's the reason you need to rush Ringo back to bed." John giggled like a child.

"I'm too tired even for that." George laughed.

"Poor Ringo, after all he's done for you." John frowned dramatically which made Ringo laugh.

"I dunno, I'm family now so isn't that technically incest?" Ringo joked.

"Ew, don't put it like that, please." George mimed throwing up.

"George you can't go around calling people 'daddy' then complaining about incest." Paul smirked, earning a proud look from John.

"Daddy?" Ringo asked surprised with a grin on his face, George was turning bright red.

"Wow, thanks for that Paul. Really appreciate it." George kept his focus on the road but the blush in his face wouldn't die down, yet he was still smiling.

"Uh oh, did Paulie say something amiss?" John smiled "Can't believe you haven't broken that one out yet, George."

"Remind me why I'm friends with you two again?" George couldn't look at Ringo in this moment.

"Because if you weren't we'd go airing your dirty laundry around." Paul laughed "And we've got baskets full."

"Who knows - maybe tonight's the night!" John was almost in stitches.

"No need to be embarrassed, George." Ringo teased, nudging his boyfriend playfully who finally turned to him with a smile.

"It's not like that with me and Ringo, alright? If you must know." George was trying to sound serious but John's laughter was too contagious.

"No way..." Paul gasped "You're telling me-"

"George, my boy, you're all grown up!" John cackled "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Fuck off the both of you." George glared.

"Sounds like you're doing all the fucking!" John was rolling around with laughter.

"Who could've guessed?" Paul had tears forming in his eyes.

"Come on now, lads, that's enough of that." Ringo said somewhat sternly but his tone was light "I'm sure George has got some right nasty stories about you two that he's trying very hard not to blurt out right now."

"I've got nothing to hide." John said with a smirk.

"We both know that's not true, Lennon." George smirked at him in the rear-view mirror.

"I don't like where this is headed." Paul said.

"Shoes on the other foot now, eh Paul?" Ringo chuckled.

"No, no I wouldn't dare." George held his nose up dramatically to feign his moral superiority "Our friendship is just too important to me."

"If you call what we did 'friendship' then Ringo must be getting a real lavish treatment." John giggled again.

"I won't deny it." Ringo smiled.

"Alright, alright, let's lay off now." Paul sat up straight "There'll be plenty of time for us to humiliate each other at dinner."

"Oh good, I'll make a list." John joked.

"You do that Johnny boy." George smirked.

There was a pause before Ringo spoke "This isn't gonna end in a big orgy is it?"

The whole car burst into laughter then, Ringo included.

"Not unless you ask nicely, Ringo." John wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

"In your dreams." George said, Ringo wondered how he was able to still drive with all this chaos going on.

The drive back to George's continued in this manner, the four of them joking and laughing with one another with Paul or Ringo eventually having to step in before it went too far. Ringo was surprised with how normal the conversation felt to him, with the three of them talking and joking openly about their sexual experiences. Granted, he'd spoke to his mates about girls he'd slept with but it was always somewhat awkward and a desperate show of masculinity. Now, Ringo felt completely at ease hearing in excruciating detail how John lost his virginity, or how George got cramp during his first time and almost cried in embarrassment. Even if the aspect of George having his first sexual experiences with his two closest friends was strange at first to Ringo, now he saw no issue with it as it was clear that Paul and John loved each other very much and that George had eyes for nobody but him.

When they finally arrived back at George's, they all had tears in their eyes from laughing so much. They all clambered out of the car still in hysterics and haphazardly greeted the doorman on their way in. Into the lift they all squeezed, John resting his head on Paul's shoulder as he fought off sleep. Ringo couldn't wipe the smile off his face, his cheeks and stomach hurt from all the laughing. The familiarity of George's flat was very welcome and they all collapsed comfortably onto various pieces of furniture; Ringo thought about how he'd likely be spending all of his time here now, with these three, if he was going to be living on their floor and he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do.

"Where are we gonna eat tonight?" George asked, taking off his jacket and tossing it lazily onto the floor.

"Maybe Ringo should choose." Paul suggested, he was sitting in John's lap when all eyes turned to Ringo.

"Oh... I dunno. I don't really know any fancy places." Ringo said sheepishly.

"Who says it has to be fancy?" George asked, he was lying across Ringo's lap.

"Why don't we go back to your old workplace, that could be funny." John smiled mischievously.

"Oh God, I thought we didn't have to go there anymore since George stopped stalking Ringo." Paul chuckled.

"Who says I stopped?" George winked which made Ringo nudge him with his knee.

"I don't think I'll be going back there any time soon." Ringo said somewhat quietly "My work 'mate' threatened to call the cops on me."

"What for?" John laughed, he was playing with Paul's hair gently.

"What do you think?" Ringo asked, gesturing to the slim boy laying in his lap.

"No... Really?" George sounding partly offended and partly angry.

"That seems all the more reason to go." John said, he had a stern look on his face "Teach that fucker a lesson."

"Come on now, John, how's that gonna help?" Paul asked soothingly, Ringo never thought he'd seen him looking more comfortable than sitting with John as he did now.

"I never said it would help." John snickered.

"I wouldn't mind kicking the shit out of him, but that's just me." George said.

"No, no, we can't." Ringo tried not to sound desperate "He's harmless anyway, just a hollow threat."

"If you're sure." George said taking hold of Ringo's hand "But I'm sure me and John would jump at the opportunity to beat him up, wouldn't we John?"

"It'd be my pleasure." John grinned.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Ringo joked "But anyway let's just focus on having a good time tonight."

"Can we decide on somewhere to go then? I swear its impossible making a plan with you lot." Paul scoffed playfully.

"You just pick Paul, that's what always ends up happening anyway." George said with a smile.

"Only because you guys are so impossible." Paul folded his arms dramatically.

"Let's just go somewhere with good food and cheaper drinks." John suggested "We're probably gonna end up throwing our dinner up anyway, does it really matter where we go?"

"Good point." Ringo laughed.

After a little while John and Paul finally retired to bed, not without a stern warning from Paul that they had to be awake by 7 'or else'. George lay in Ringo's lap happily, allowing his hair to be played with while he allowed sleep to slowly overcome him. Ringo felt completely at peace like this, very thankful that he didn't have to work until tomorrow evening and while his brain wanted to shift into panic mode: to think about all the things wrong with accepting Brian's offer, with all the things that could go wrong the next time he went to work, but his happiness was just too powerful to overcome. Ringo noticed George slowly slipping into sleep so happily carried him to bed, he noticed him stirring awake at points but George just welcomed the gesture. Ringo drew George's bedroom curtains closed and slipped of George's shoes and belt, just as he had all that time ago when he first stayed the night here, and similarly stripped his clothes off onto the floor before climbing into bed. The softness of the sheets sent a smile across Ringo's face as he cuddled up to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head on his shoulder as he too fell asleep.

Ringo had no idea how they managed to sleep that long but before he had already really noticed that he was falling asleep, he was being awoken again by some banging on George's bedroom door. Ringo shot up in alarm, George just groaning sleepily beside him, but relaxed immediately when he heard Paul's voice shouting from the other side.

"I'm coming in, you two better not be fucking!" Paul called, opening the door slowly.

John burst in the room without a care, causing Paul to roll his eyes "Aw, that's boring. I was hoping to catch something juicy."

"Fuck off John." George mumbled, still lying on his side with the covers pulled up over his shoulders.

"You should really lock your door George." Paul tutted, walking over to the curtains and pulling them open harshly. "You guys have been asleep for like 10 hours, you know that right?"

"Jesus, really?" Ringo asked with a laugh, he was holding the cover over his chest as casually as he could.

"Let me sleep!" George shouted weakly, his eyes still not open.

Ringo rocked him somewhat roughly "Come on, get up now."

John made his way over to the bed, jumping down into the centre "Room for one more?" He asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows, making his way between the two of them.

As soon as George felt John brush against him he shot up "Fine, fine, I'm up!" He rolled out of bed sluggishly, rubbing his eye and stretching with his other arm.

"Spoil sport." John stuck his tongue out at George then slipped underneath the covers to take George's place.

"No, come on John, I'm not spending another half an hour trying to get you out of bed." Paul signalled with his hand and John reluctantly got back up to his feet.

"Now clear off you two, we need to get dressed." George said, already undoing his shirt.

"Oh sorry, didn't realise you'd become so Catholic." John chuckled but headed out of the room nonetheless.

"10 minutes, no longer, alright?" Paul said sternly as he closed the bedroom door.

"Yes mother!" George called out with a laugh then turned to Ringo "Sorry about them."

Ringo finally got out of bed, feeling a little cold just in his boxers, and began to rifle through George's wardrobe to find some of his casual clothes "No, it's fine, I'm just still not used to John's..."

"Sluttiness?" George joked "He's just having you on, it doesn't mean anything. Well, unless you want it to mean something."

"Really?" Ringo asked surprised, he'd found one his dark blue jumpers at the bottom of the wardrobe and tossed it onto the bed "Is Paul alright with that?"

"He's not fussed really, he knows John will never replace him." George walked up beside Ringo to find something to wear for himself "But every so often they might bring someone else to bed, for a laugh usually. John's always the one to initiate it, but Paul has to approve o'course."

"Weird." Was all Ringo could think to say, finding a pair of trousers and sloppily getting dressed.

"If it bothers you though, I can say something to John and he'll lay off." George was in nothing but his boxers now and the sight made Ringo freeze for a moment.

"No it doesn't bother me. I just didn't know if he was serious or not." Ringo couldn't keep his eyes off George while he tried to put his jumper on.

"Fair enough." George smiled at the sight of Ringo with flushed cheeks "John's just got a lot of love, you know? He's gotta share it around somehow."

Ringo managed to bring his attention away from George's gorgeous body long enough so that he could dress himself, he evaluated himself in the mirror and decided he looked good enough. It was always refreshing to see George out of a suit, as much as he did look good in them, as he was now wearing a turtleneck which accentuated his strong jaw perfectly. Ringo had always thought George was attractive, even if it he couldn't admit it the first time he saw him, but the more he spent time with him the more George just looked even more beautiful; it was a strange phenomenon, because Ringo thought George couldn't get any more attractive.

"How do I look?" George asked with a grin, meeting Ringo's prolonged gaze.

"Gorgeous." Ringo smiled back.

They headed out of the room to find John and Paul sharing a heated kiss on the sofa, George just coughed awkwardly to pull them away from each other. Without any more delay they headed down to the lobby and into the darkening evening. Paul insisted that they walked because he didn't trust John to not get ridiculously drunk yet manage to convince the rest of them that he was sober enough to drive them home.

"It's not my fault you always believe me." John laughed "You're supposed to be the responsible one, not me."

"I know, that's why I'm removing the car from the equation entirely." Paul explained.

Paul had decided on what he described as a 'semi-fancy' place for them to eat which Ringo couldn't really decipher. They ended up at what Ringo could only conclude was a very fancy place, at least by his standards, and they got in without any trouble despite the long queue waiting outside.

"Do you even bother making a reservation?" Ringo asked with a chuckle, trying to block out the complaints the people in the queue were making.

"Of course, we're not animals." Paul laughed "Well, I'm not anyway."

They were seated at a far corner in the restaurant, the waiter seemed very happy to see them, and headed off to fetch them a bottle of wine which John asked for before even sitting down. They sat in a booth which faced the band, currently a fairly attractive woman was singing quite emotionally, with John and George sat on the outside. Ringo was once again intimidated by the menu, as he always was, and looked over at George for some guidance. While Ringo was getting more used to being in such upscale places he still wasn't surely whether he particularly liked them, nor did he think the rest of them did, and he always wondered why they always ended up in such places. The waiter returned with a bottle of wine and four glasses, John didn't even bother pretending to read the bottle to see if it was 'acceptable' or not and just drank it.

"Keep 'em coming." John said with a wink to the waiter who just nodded stiffly.

They ordered their food and began what Ringo imagined was going to be a long night of drinking. It didn't take too long for the food to arrive and they all dug in without much conversation, Ringo was absolutely starving considering he hadn't eaten all day. They got through two bottles of wine easily before they even finished their meals. The music switched up for a jazz band which Ringo greatly appreciated, he began singing along to some of the songs without noticing.

"I just realised, this is the first time we've been out as two proper couples." Paul smiled with his wine glass in hand.

"Wow, word gets around fast." Ringo chuckled, passing a joking look to George who just smiled at him.

"In all seriousness though, I'm really glad you two ended up together. Back a day when we used to get lunch at your place I worried it wasn't gonna work out." Paul paused to take a sip.

"Why's that?" Ringo asked.

"Honestly, I didn't think you were gay." Paul laughed.

"Well I wasn't technically." Ringo smiled shyly which made John laugh.

"How can you not be gay technically?" John giggled "Were you only gay philosophically? How about metaphorically?"

"I just didn't know I suppose." Ringo shrugged his shoulders.

"Suppose I just have that effect on people." George grinned devilishly, putting his arm around Ringo's shoulder.

"Must be true after all, it's contagious." John laughed.

"Well the cycle's ended now at least, unless Ringo goes passing it along." Paul winked and nudged Ringo playfully.

"Hey now, we're not like you two." George said rather defensively "All we need is each other."

"No need to get uppity George, just a joke." Paul said with a smug smile.

"And you didn't seem to be complaining about our generosity before Ringo came along." John smirked.

"Whatever." George took a sip from his wine.

If this conversation was happening between anyone else, although Ringo couldn't imagine who else would be having a conversation like this, he would've thought they were actually trying to upset one another but with these three he knew it was all done lovingly.

"You guys sure to do talk about sex a lot." Ringo said with his mouth full of food.

"Well you can only talk about the weather for so long." John quipped back quickly which made them all laugh.

After a ridiculous amount of wine, they finally got through their dessert and asked for the bill. Ringo wasn't sure whether he was drunk or not but as soon as he stood up he knew that he certainly was. He held onto to George's arm as they walked out of the restaurant partly for support but mostly because he just wanted to touch him. Ringo had a feeling he'd drank more than anyone else but once John burst out into song in the street he wasn't sure anymore. They drunkenly shuffled down the streets before they came to a club, it was one they'd never been to before - at least not with Ringo - and it was clean looking enough. From outside Ringo could already hear the music, although it was pretty muffled by the bricks and his alcohol intake. It was rock and roll music which made all of the boys very happy, especially John, and they made their way to the dance floor immediately.

After dancing for a while they retreated to the bar where they each ordered a drink. Ringo had offered to pay for everyone, considering he'd be coming into more money than he'd ever had before very soon, but they politely refused and somehow they ended up paying for Ringo's drink instead. With a drink in hand Ringo turned his back to the bar and looked out at the club and came to a realisation.

"Where's all the girls?" He asked George, having to lean in and shout over the music.

"Bored of me already are you?" George grinned but when he saw Ringo's vacant expression he felt he had to explain "This isn't the type of club girls are particularly interested in going to."

Ringo wasn't sure if it was his own fault for not understanding George, but his words almost sounded like another language "Huh?" He shouted back which made George laugh.

"It's a men's only club, if you catch my drift." George leaned in closer to Ringo's ear.

"Really?" Ringo said after a pause "I didn't know there were any."

"Ringo, love, there's a lot you don't know." George bit Ringo's earlobe playfully before pulling away to take a sip of his drink.

Paul and John had vanished off somewhere after they got their drinks and Ringo hadn't noticed their absence until now. He looked at the groups of men dancing here, and he found himself thinking how normal they all looked. Well why shouldn't they look normal, Ringo asked himself, he looked normal - or at least he liked to think he did.

"Isn't it illegal?" Ringo asked, thinking aloud more than speaking directly to George.

"Of course it is, but who's gonna do anything?" George was leading them back to the dance floor now "Brian makes sure the police stay away from the place, so anything goes really."

"That's nice of him." Ringo smiled thinking about Brian, how kind he'd been during their first meeting.

The two of them finished their drinks quickly, making Ringo shudder at the strong taste, before they began dancing again. Ringo hadn't felt this drunk in a long time, but he wasn't complaining and just allowed himself to mellow out. After a while, Ringo had no idea how long, John and Paul resurfaced and began dancing with them. Both of them looked fairly flushed, with Paul's lips plump and John's hair ruffled with a very satisfied grin on his face.

"Really, you couldn't wait until you got home?" George asked with a smirk.

"You try resisting him." John nudged Paul lovingly who gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I wasn't hearing any complaints." Paul said proudly.

Ringo just laughed, he was never really sure how to respond when their conversations got like this, the three of them joking back and forth at lightning speed without any time to even think.

"Geez Ringo, you look pissed." John chuckled, lowering himself slightly so that they were eye to eye.

"I'll level with you John, I feel pissed." Ringo grinned stupidly.

John put his arm around Ringo's shoulder and hugged him into his side "You're a right sort, Ringo. Glad George picked you up when he did."

"Thank you." Ringo slurred out, looking at George hazily who was looking right at him happily.

They danced for a while longer before heading back to the bar, this time getting two more drinks each. George quickly headed off to the bathroom and in his absence another man took his place, between Ringo and John. Ringo didn't even notice he was there, he hadn't even really realised George had gone, before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" The man asked, he was blonde and rather short.

"Maybe." Ringo said with a lazy smile. "I don't know you though."

"Well I'm sure we can fix that." The man purred, moving in closer to Ringo.

Ringo stumbled backwards clumsily "Sorry mate I'm not interested."

"No need to be scared, I can show you a good time." The man moved closer again but he was stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

It was George, he towered over the man and spun him around with ease so that his back was pushed against the bar "You heard him, not interested, now fuck off." He growled.

"Jesus, sorry. Can't hate a guy for trying." The man said with a weak smile, he wasn't hiding how scared he was of George very well, before he hurried away into the crowd.

"You alright?" George asked with a serious expression, Ringo was still processing what was happening.

"Yeah fine... Was he hitting on me?" Ringo asked and George couldn't help laughing.

"God, you are pissed, aren't you?"

"Sure am, you better catch up."

Ringo raised his eyebrow and offered his drink to George who took it gladly and downed it with ease. He slammed the empty cup down on the bar and scrunched up his face as the alcohol went down his throat which made John jump.

"Blimey, when did you get back?" John asked, he'd ordered a third drink.

"Oh just after some bloke tried it on with Ringo, thanks for helping by the way." George smiled sarcastically.

"George, I'm gonna be real with you, I don't really have any idea what's going on. So I'd appreciate it if you stopped expecting me to notice things." John slurred, Paul just looked at him and rolled his eyes.

"What are they like, honestly?" Paul said shaking his head.

"Paul you can't talk when you're giving blowies in the toilet first chance you get." George laughed as Ringo offered him his second drink.

"Hey now, I do that when I'm sober, thank you very much." Paul retorted with a drink in hand.

They stayed at the bar for a while, Ringo wasn't even sure who was paying for the drinks at this point but he was hoping that's why his money had mysteriously disappeared from his pocket. It didn't take too long before they were all stumbling around, when they tried to dance they kept knocking into people and at one point it looked like John was going to start a fight. The man who was flirting with Ringo reappeared at a point but George only had to look at him before he vanished once again. Ringo danced with everyone individually at different points in the night: when he was with George it was bordering on obscene with how they pressed their bodies against each other, with Paul Ringo felt very happy as they were spinning each other around sloppily, and with John it was the most ridiculous as they were by far the most drunk of the group as they were trying to dip one another or climb on the other's shoulders. After yet another failed attempt of Ringo trying to climb onto John they all decided to head outside for a smoke. Ringo worried that the cold air was going to sober him up but it just made him feel even drunker. He wasn't sure how late it was but he was just hoping the club wasn't going to close anytime soon.

"How's your first gay club treating you then, Ringo?" Paul asked as he lit his cigarette.

"I haven't noticed a difference, but that might be because I'm very, very drunk." Ringo leaned up against the wall as he smoked.

"I thought John was bad, but Jesus, Ringo you can really throw them back." George said, he was standing close beside him.

"Thank you very much." Ringo grinned.

"Here's hoping you can make it to work tomorrow." Paul smirked.

"Here's hoping he can make it home, more like." George chuckled.

"No, Ringo's not gonna miss an opportunity to sleep on George's sofa, are you lad?" John was currently swaying from side to side.

"I'll probably pass out before I even get my clothes off." Ringo laughed, he was just staring at the floor.

"John knows all about that one." Paul said "Once he offered to suck me off and then he fell asleep halfway."

Ringo burst into laughter hearing this which made George laugh too. John looked offended at first but couldn't help laughing with the rest of them. After they finished their cigarettes they headed back into the club, which had now significantly emptied. Ringo felt a pang of sadness in his chest at the thought of having to go home, for the night to be over, but he had a feeling that the closing of the club wasn't really going to put an end to things.

George pulled Ringo enthusiastically to dance but once they stopped in place, he pulled him in for a kiss instead. Ringo felt his head swimming as George pressed his lips up against his own, he tasted strongly of smoke and alcohol which normally would make Ringo feel sick but he just loved the taste of George. It felt like they were kissing forever, George's hand lowering down to Ringo's back, and Ringo grabbing a handful of George's hair. Eventually they pulled away from each other but Ringo couldn't help wanting more, and he felt determined to stay awake as long as possible so that he didn't risk repeating John's mistake.

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Fake Boyfriend

This is different than what you’re thinking and wasn’t actually supposed to be this originally, but I couldn’t do pure angst so here you go. (Also, @taters-later I know you’re running out of fics)

————

Cyrus slowly swayed on the swing. Jonah has said he was going to meet him an hour ago, but so far, nothing. Cyrus checked his phone, but all it told him was that Jonah hadn't texted in the last thirty seconds since Cyrus last checked. He sighed, turning back and forth on the swing. I know he isn't good at being on time, Cyrus though. But if he was going to be this late, he could have at least let me know. Suddenly, Cyrus heard footsteps coming from behind him. He whipped around and saw-

”Oh”, Cyrus said turning back around. ”Hey TJ.”

”Oh hello to you too, my best friend who is so glad to see me”, TJ replied chuckling. He came around and sat in his official swing on Cyrus’s right.

”Sorry”, Cyrus apologized guiltily. ”I just thought you were Jonah.”

TJ nodded and started to swing, though not very high.

“You want to talk about it?”, he asked softly.

Cyrus smiled but shook his head. Remembering TJ couldn’t hear him, he said, “No it’s fine. It was nothing important anyway.”

“Obviously not if you asked him to meet you here”, TJ rebuffed, glancing at him. After a few minutes where Cyrus didn’t say anything, TJ sighed and slowed his movements. He got off the swing and Cyrus looked at him curiously as TJ walked behind him. Suddenly, Cyrus felt TJ’s hands on his back, propelling his swing forward.

“Ah, TJ!”, Cyrus exclaimed, gripping onto the chains as TJ pushed him higher into the sky. Cyrus could feel the grin that appeared on TJ’s face at his reaction.

“If you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong, I’ll have to cheer you up like this”, TJ explained. “Underdog!”, he called out before pushing Cyrus up and running underneath him. Cyrus laughed just like he had the first time his friend had pushed him like this. Cyrus looked down to see TJ smiling back up at him, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

Cyrus sighed and slowed his swing down. “We were supposed to go out tonight. I’ve been waiting for an hour.”

“He hasn’t texted?”, TJ asked confused. Cyrus shook his head.

TJ frowned and grabbed Cyrus’s swing, bringing him up to eye-level. He just stared at Cyrus for a bit before releasing that swing and grabbing Cyrus’s hand. TJ pulled him up and they started to walk out of the park, TJ pulling Cyrus along.

“T-TJ”, Cyrus called surprised. “Where are we going?”

“He’s an hour late Cyrus. This is past sad time, it’s mad time. It’s where you leave and go and do something fun without him.”

“But, but he’s my boyfriend”, Cyrus replied. TJ sighed and stopped, pulling Cyrus so he was facing him.

“Yes, he’s your boyfriend. But he’s late for something you guys planned with no explanation. I know you’re the kind of person to get an explanation first and be mad later, but he can explain tomorrow. You’re sad, and it’s my job as your best friend to cheer you up.”

TJ shook Cyrus as he talked. He makes a good point, Cyrus thought. Cyrus was sure Jonah had a good explanation, but Cyrus didn’t want to hear it right now. He wanted to hang out with TJ.

“Ok”, Cyrus caved. “Let’s go.”

TJ smiled and pulled him out of the park where his car was waiting by the curb. Cyrus got into the passenger side while TJ got behind the wheel. He started up the car and soon they were cruising down the empty streets of their small, quiet town. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to just drive until TJ was lost, but he seemed to have a destination in mind. Cyrus started to get curious as they drove out of town.

“Where are we going?”, he asked, looking around. TJ just smiled at him and kept humming along to the radio. Cyrus huffed and turned to look out the window. He went to check his phone again, but TJ noticed and quickly intercepted him.

“Uh uh”, he said, taking Cyrus’s phone despite his protests. “Right now, it’s just us okay?” TJ put both of their phones in the glove compartment before glancing at Cyrus. Cyrus sighed and leaned back; TJ smiled and went back to humming.

Soon, they were both completely lost in the music and they were just driving down an empty road. Cyrus wasn’t sure how long they had been driving, but Jonah was the last thing from his mind. TJ seemed to find what he was looking for because they were gliding off the road onto an familiar dirt path. He stopped and hoped out, Cyrus hesitantly doing the same.

TJ was fishing around in the back. Suddenly, a giant fluffy thing came flying at Cyrus. He helped but was able to catch it. It was a blanket, and he looked up to see TJ lying another blanket out on the ground and plopping down. Cyrus followed, sitting close to TJ. A breeze came and Cyrus wrapped the blanket around him. He looked over to see TJ smiling softly at him before drifting his sight back up to the sky. Cyrus followed his gaze and sighed.

There were billions of stars shining brightly above them. It wasn’t unusual for them to go stargazing during the summer, but this was the first time they were doing it during fall. The sky was entirely different than it was during June and July. Cyrus smiled before feeling TJ shiver beside him. Cyrus realized TJ didn’t have a blanket and scooted closer before throwing the blanket over the both of them. TJ turned to look at him and Cyrus smiled back.

His eyes are really green, Cyrus thought as the two boys just looked at each other. Has he always had those freckles?

All of a sudden, Cyrus was pressed up against TJ’s chest, his arms wrapped around him. Cyrus was surprised, but he quickly relaxed, snuggling closer to his friend. He’s warmer than Jonah, was the last thing that went through Cyrus’s head before he drifted off to sleep.

————

TJ woke up a few hours later. What time is it?, he thought about to get up before realizing that Cyrus is was still in his arms. TJ took a minute and just looked at his sleeping crush. It always hurt when he had to cheer up Cyrus for when Jonah hurt him, but TJ knew it was better to have Cyrus in his life as a friend then never at all. He figured the feelings would fade with time but it had been three years and nothing had changed.

TJ sighed and shifted Cyrus so he was laying with TJ’s arms underneath him. TJ got up slowly and carried Cyrus bridal style to the car. He was able to get him into the car without Cyrus waking and packed the car. He got in and started the car, hoping to get back to town before someone realized they were gone. He had texted Amber that he and Cyrus were going to be gone for a bit, but he wasn’t sure she had seen the message.

TJ sat quietly in his thoughts as he drove back to Shadyside. He drove through the familiar streets, somehow being able to connect everything he saw back to Cyrus who was still peacefully asleep in the seat next to him. Eventually, he pulled up at Cyrus’s dad’s house. He got out and went over to the passenger side before pulling Cy out of the car. When he had the boy in his arms, TJ looked up and saw Jonah sitting on the front steps.

He looked like he was about to say something as TJ walked up to him, but TJ cut him off with a loon and he just timidly followed TJ inside. Once TJ had Cyrus upstairs in his bed, he went downstairs to face Jonah. He glared at the boy as they stood on the Goodman’s front porch, his scary-basketball-guy persona—as Cyrus liked to call it—at full force.

“When did you pick him up?”, Jonah asked quietly.

“Oh you know, after he had waited for you for over an hour”, TJ replied sharply. The oblivious boy had the awareness to look remorseful.

“Why weren’t you there”, TJ asked tersely.

“I forgot”, Jonah answered, his voice barely above a mumble.

“You….forgot”, TJ repeated, disbelief and anger bubbling just under the surface.

“Do you even like him, Jonah?”, TJ asked, nearly shouting.

Jonah looked indignant, ready to retort the accusation in TJ’s voice, but his expression faded to resignation.

“I-I love him. His one of my best friends, but I just….I don’t like him like that anymore.”

TJ wanted to be mad. He really did. But he also knew Jonah couldn’t control how he felt, a fact that made him sigh and say: “Then you need to tell him.” Jonah nodded and TJ hesitated before getting back into his car. TJ drove away, feeling both guilty and overjoyed. It’s going to be a long night.

————

Cyrus woke up in his bed. It took a minute to remember what happened the night before, but when he did, he shot upward. He found his boyfriend sitting at the end of his bed looking at him guiltily.

“Hey”, Cyrus said softly.

“Hey”, Jonah look conflicted for a minute before turning to face him. “We need to talk.”

“That’s not a sentence I’d thought you’d say”, Cyrus said, chucking uncomfortably.

Jonah looked sad as he said, “Cyrus, I love you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. But, you deserve someone who you can talk about your feelings with and who will treat you with the respect and love you deserve. That someone’s not me, Cy.”

Cyrus took a moment to digest this. He was sad, that was a given. He didn’t want to break up with Jonah. But he couldn’t force Jonah into a relationship that he didn’t want, and it was true that Jonah didn’t do anything that Cyrus would expect for a boyfriend to do. But he was never bothered because he always did those thing with

“Oh”, Cyrus breathes shakily.

“Are you mad at me?”, Jonah asked quietly. Cyrus looked at him and shook his head and pulled his friend into a hug.

“I’m sorry”, Cyrus said.

“Hey”, Jonah said, pulling away. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” Cyrus nodded and Jonah got up off the bed.

“I should probably go”, he said awkwardly.

“Yeah, probably”, Cyrus agreed. Jonah nodded and left the room. It took a minute before Cyrus realized tears were streaming down his face. Cyrus sniffled and wiped them away before looking around for his phone. He couldn’t find it and guessed he must of left it in TJ’s car.

Cyrus shakily got out of bed and got changed. He made his way downstairs and out the door, calling to his dad that he’d be right back. Cyrus made his way down the street, barely able to see the sidewalk through his tears. He made his way more by muscle memory than conscious thought. One moment, he was walking down the sidewalks, the next he was knocking on the Kippen’s door.

The door opened to reveal TJ in his usual Saturday morning attire, his hair fluffy and glasses perched on his nose to keep him from falling down the stairs. Upon seeing Cyrus, TJ pulled him into his arms. Cyrus reflexively snaked his arms around his friend, visibly relaxing. After a moment, TJ tugged Cyrus inside and into TJ’s room. Cyrus went to lay on the bed but refused to let TJ go. TJ sighed and later down, Cyrus automatically curling into him. Cyrus used TJ’s heartbeat to center him.

They laid there in complete silence before Cyrus said, “When were you going to tell me we were dating?”

TJ was surprised but didn’t pull away. “What do you mean?”

“Jonah said that I deserved to date someone who I could talk about my feelings with and who treated me with love and respect. Jonah didn’t do that, but you did. The more I think about it, I realize we act more like a couple than me and Jonah did.”

TJ was quiet for a while. He finally said, “Are you okay with that?”

Cyrus nodded against his chest. “But I would have preferred if you had just asked me out than me having to figure it out by getting dumped by a boyfriend I didn’t like.”

“You didn’t like Jonah?”

Cyrus shook his head. “I got over my crush on him in middle school. But one day he asked me out and since the person I actually liked didn’t seem like he was going to, I said yes.”

“Who did you like?”

Cyrus pulled away a bit and leaned his head up. He placed a soft kiss on TJ’s lips before pulling away and snuggling back into his chest. “Guess.”

TJ laughed and pulled Cyrus closer into him. “Don’t date anyone other than me anymore, okay? Watching you with Jonah was horrible.”

“Okay”, Cyrus replied softly. I don’t want to date anyone other than him anyway, he thought as he fell asleep in his real boyfriend’s arms.

[honey-bri-books]

The Rupture: Castiel - Part 2

A made-up extension of the ending, from episode 15x03 of Supernatural. I do not own any of the characters, do not own rights to the show, etc. All characters created by Eric Kripke. For enjoyment (hopefully not a waste of your time!) Supernatural Fan-Fic. 

***Possibly re-using angel names, here. Sorry!*****

Angels in story (team Castiel):

Lailah: Night, conception

Jophiel: Wisdom, Understanding, Judgment

Aglibol: The Moon

The highway deserted, three angels make their way across the state, hoping to find an angel-friendly bar along the way. Or even an “off-limits” bar. With the few angels left and with Hell a hot mess, several bars and restaurants were now hosted by demons, angels, or a combination of both. Creating an “off-limits” environment, where fighting, maiming, but mainly killing each other was banned within the limits of the parking lot and the building. The end of days no longer an old joke but a very possible reality, many supernatural creatures realized that they'd rather enjoy earth and humanity's inventions for the remainder of their days than fight. The angel in the driver's seat increases his speed. The one in the passenger seat complains that they might get pulled over.

Lailah: Aglibol! Would you slow down, please? I don't want to have to stun any more cops, tonight. I'm exhausted. Lailah checks his hair in his compact. Though really, the blood smeared on the left side of his face, starting to crust, needed more attention. Angels didn't usually get a freshening up of their vessels until a certain amount of hours have passed. Lailah had a few more to go, before the tears and stains would disappear from his suit.

Aglibol: The roads are deserted. Besides, I'm guessing people are still cleaning up after the evil ghosties that attacked, last. Though they probably think all of the possessed humans were caught sick with something. Aglibol does slow down his speed slightly, just in case. What WAS that all about anyway? The angels had just had a huge bout with a swarm of demons. Demons who claimed that it was the end of the world, and that all angels were doomed to slaughter. Whenever anything apocalyptic happened, it always had to be heaven's fault. It didn't help that the demons they fought were drunk. 

Lailah: You don't know either? I really thought at first that it was the end of times. Like, actually the end. Heard Dad left again. Lailah gives up on his hair, dyed pink and teased up to high heaven. He starts to put away his compact when the third angel in the car kicks the back of his seat. Hey! Jophi. Stop it! Jophiel leans between the driver and passenger seats and grabs the compact out of Lailah's hand. I said knock it off. Lailah tries to swipe back at Jophiel, accidentally knocking Aglibol, instead. Aglibol swerves.

Aglibol: Would you two cut that out?! Jophiel! Give Lailah his compact back. 

Jophiel: I think that Kurt Russel demon chipped a tooth! 

Aglibol: It'll fix itself in a few hours. Just chill. Jophiel sulks in the back seat and tosses the compact to the floor of the jeep.

Jophiel: What now? I'm thirsty.

Lailah: You're not thirsty, you just want to get drunk.

Jophiel: Honestly, was just hoping we could hit up a safe-spot with a karaoke machine. Feel like singin'. Both Lailah and Aglibol groan. Jophiel always took the voice of an angel thing as a real super-power. All angels could sing, some better than others. Jophiel just loved the looks on mortals’ faces whenever he took to the mic. But at an off-limits bar, no one would care. Half of the bar patrons would be able to sing just as well, if not better. Lailah looks over at Aglibol with a raised eyebrow. He rolls his eyes in return.

Aglibol: I actually wouldn't mind a drink, myself. Let's just wait and see what pops up along the road. 

Lailah: The last sign I saw read “Rest Stop ½ a Mile” from here. Maybe there'll be a map or directory or something. Also, I just kind of wanna stretch my legs. Stars and moon look pretty from the window, but I can't really see all that well from here. Can’t do anything about that, can you Gli? Why not let the moon be visible at its best, from any position on earth? Humans should all be able to afford that luxury, at least. Lailah strains to catch the moon from the passenger side window, but it keeps getting blocked by the trees. Both Jophiel and Aglibol agree, so they pull over and park next to Castiel's truck, a few minutes later.

Aglibol: Isn't that Castiel's truck?

Jophiel: How can you tell? He's always in a different car, when we see him. 

Aglibol: I ran into him several months back, and he was driving that same truck. It had a small dent in the back. The three angels get out of the jeep and go over to inspect the truck, noticing footprints leading towards the one of the wood trails. 

Lailah: Where is he? Still looking for demon-boy?

Aglibol: It was a nephil he was looking for, actually. And no, that was awhile ago. They've re-united last I heard.

Jophiel: Nephil – IM. Aglibol rolls his eyes. Ha! I'm right!

Aglibol: Um, sure. I'm gonna see if he maybe headed this way. You two want to check those other two trails? Both Jophiel and Lailah look surprised. 

Lailah: Er, Why? Weren't we going out for drinks? Or do you want to make sure your boyfriend has a chance to join in on the fun? Aglibol stops and looks back, annoyed.

Aglibol: It's a sad world we live in where you're simply civil to another angel for a few minutes, and everyone thinks that means you're dating him. Aglibol had helped Castiel in a scrape or two in the past, and Castiel never failed in returning the favor. Rumors started flying, when Aglibol simply walked over to Castiel who had been knocked down in a fight, and helped him to stand up asking “Are you alright?” Oh, of course! That must mean they had sexual fantasies about each other, on a daily basis!! Yeah right.

Lailah: Okay, well, let's all stick together and not split up like the first victims in a horror movie. Kay?

The three angels head down the first trail, where Castiel had walked down just moments before.

Jophiel: You guys see anything? Hey...There he is. Yo! Castiel!! Castiel is seen climbing into something. As Jophiel, Aglibol and Lailah go further down the path, they see that Castiel is climbing through an old log-fence. There's a sign hanging precariously off the fence, and it starts to swing as Castiel's coat brushes alongside it. Can't he hear me? We aren't far...Hey! Aglibol, what...but Aglibol is sprinting down the path, towards the edge of the cliff. 

Aglibol: Castiel! Stop! Castiel has walked up to the edge and is just barely grounded, by his heels. Lailah and Jophiel run to catch up with Aglibol, who has just reached the fence. No, not again! Don't jump....! Castiel leans forward, Aglibol jumps the fence and reaches for Castiel's trench coat.

Lailah: What the hell?! Castiel, what are you doing?! Get away from the....both Lailah and Jophiel halt suddenly, open-mouthed as they watch Castiel fall into nothingness, off the edge of the cliff...and then both scream into the night as Aglibol jumps after him. Aglibol!!!!

*

Aglibol falls after Castiel, hoping they hit the water and far away enough from shallow water and rocks, by the shore. Don't die! Don't die, please!!! He doesn't know if he's praying for Castiel or himself, or both. It's too late to turn back. Aglibol watches Castiel land in the water with a crash, and braces himself as he falls in after him.

Lailah and Jophiel don't know what to do. They run to the edge, but are hesitant in jumping to their deaths. They knew the strength of the moon’s rays and Aglibol were tied, and less harm would come to him when he made contact with the water. Castiel, on the other hand...

Jophiel: Where are they?! I don't see them.

Lailah: There! Lailah points to two bobbing figures in the water. Floating bodies? One seems to be slack, while the other is swimming towards the shore, tugging at the lifeless form. I think they’re...or at least one.....he chokes back a sob. Aglibol has been there for him in the tougest of times. A few hours ago, Aglibol saved Lailah's life. If he died now......Lailah turns to face Jophiel, who is heading towards a hidden path, leading down to the base of the cliff. Lailah hurries to catch up.

When both reach the end of the path, Aglibol is dragging Castiel's body out of the water. 

Aglibol: Help me! Please! He's hurt...Lailah and Jophiel help lay Castiel further onto shore, past the rocks and onto a grassy clearing. Castiel lies very still. He seems to glow in the moonlight. Aglibol raises a hand over Castiel's chest, and a light shines from it, brightly in the night. The light dims, but Castiel hasn't moved. Aglibol looks up to Lailah. Help me. Maybe if the three of us...

Lailah: Aglibol, it's no use...I think he's...

Aglibol: He wasn't in the water for long. Maybe if we called other angels and.....Lailah throws his hands up in the air.

Lailah: And what!? Hope they don't chop his vessel into bits and mail the Winchesters his heart, while they're at it? What can we possibly do, Gli?

Aglibol: He didn't deserve this!!!!! He covers his face with his hands. I thought I'd reached him. The last time he tried... Lailah and Jophiel groan in despair. 

Jophiel: You mean he's tried to kill himself, before now? The shock of his own words makes him stagger...Tried... They all look at each other sadly. Oh, Castiel. None seem to know what to do with Castiel's dead body. It needed protecting, it needed....The Winchesters. They'll want to be told. Someone should...Jophiel stops when Aglibol glares at him. He starts shouting and both Jophiel and Lailah know better than to argue with him.

Aglibol: Who do think must have drove him to this state, to begin with.?!?!? Dean Winchester is the worst type of human being ever to...

Castiel: (weakly) Dean... Aglibol jumps up, and both Jophiel and Lailah cry out in relief and surprise. Castiel opens his eyes slowly. After a moment, he sits up and looks around, as if lost. He inspects his hands, his arms, touches his face. Then he starts to shake violently, his eyes wide.

Aglibol: (Carefully) Castiel? Wha..Are you alright? How did you...where did...Castiel tries to stand, and falls back to the ground. Jophiel helps him up. Castiel looks at him, confused. 

Castiel: Jophiel? What are you doing here? Castiel starts to calm, and the shaking is less severe. Both Lailah and Aglibol move towards Castiel slowly. They don't know that he left his blade at the top of the cliff, and are prepared to steal it out of Castiel's hands, if he were to attempt to kill himself, again.

Lailah: (Trying to sound casual) Hey Castiel! We were about to stop at the nearest bar, for drinks and maybe a little karaoke. Wanna come? Lailah had a waver in his voice, but was doing his best to sound chipper. Jophiel attempts a smile and puts a hand on Castiel's shoulder. Aglibol gets angry. 

Aglibol: Castiel. What were you thinking!? Why would you try to...

Castiel: (Weakly) Yes.

Aglibol: What?!

Castiel: Yes, I'll join you. But...I don't feel like singing tonight. If that's alright...Castiel's expression is unreadable. There are tears in his eyes, but the shaking has stopped. The others are tentative, but all agree to go back to their cars and to head to the next off-limits bar they run into. Jophiel and Lailah take the jeep while Castiel and Aglibol take the truck, Aglibol driving. 

Both Aglibol and Castiel are quiet, during the drive. When Aglibol tries to talk to Castiel again, he just nods or shakes his head no, in response. Castiel can only think of the last words he heard right before he woke up, alive on the shore.....

The Shadow: Not yet. Not like this...You don't get to die, like this...I haven't forgotten my terms and I know you haven't either. Forget about your pain, forget about your scars, let yourself feel warmth and love and experience bliss, for the first time. Pure, true, real happiness, Castiel. Then, oh I can't wait for you see what I have in store for you. All who die and go to the Empty are to sleep for all eternity...but not you. I’m so looking forward to you. See you soon...

The End..

See ‘The Rupture: Castiel -Part 1′ for previous chapter.

https://honey-bri-books.tumblr.com/post/188575597796/the-rupture-castiel-part-1

See ‘The Barn: Team Castiel’ for next chapter.

https://honey-bri-books.tumblr.com/post/188597719151/the-barn-team-castiel?is_related_post=1

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 1K~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which all Greg wants is some damn sleep.

First | Last chapter

While I’m cross posting all of these to tumblr, I’d love to have your support over on AO3 too! Plus, it’s easier to subscribe there. A win-win, I’d say. Enjoy a breather chapter.

Chapter 3: Restless

Perhaps it’s mostly due to the fact that his son is mixed species and frequently galavants on magical and oft dangerous adventures with the three alien guardians who have over time become just as much of a family to the boy as he is, but whether he blames it on the fourteen plus years of anxiety progressively gnawing away at him or his chronically poor sleep habits, it’s as clear as the ache in his spine that Greg Universe is far from being the poster child of a good night’s rest.

He’s spent the last hour or so drifting in and out of awareness. Sometimes what rouses him is the subtle ticks of a rickety car driving past on the road outside, a sound his wandering mind has long associated with the dollar signs of potential business. (Not that he’s actually dependent on the car wash to support himself and Steven anymore, but hey, old habits die hard.) In other cases it’s simply... the ocean. He’s never been much of a fan of white noise, and even though he’s lived by the shore for a solid two decades now, the rushing ebb and flow has a nasty knack of keeping him awake. Maybe he should just bite the bullet and splurge for earplugs again. Overwhelmingly though, the main reason sleep tends to be such a stranger to him is because his brain simply refuses to shut up. Snippets of awkward social interactions from the day, worries about the faint stress hidden within his son’s smiles, song lyric rejects, the grocery list he forgot to write before retiring to the cozy, well-worn mattress set up on the van’s floor— just when he thinks he’s reached the end of things to obsess over and can finally slip into the blissful embrace of REM, something else claws out of the very mud of the Earth to bully him awake once more. It’s a vicious cycle.

Greg rolls on his side, and kicks the edge of his downy comforter until it fully covers his cold toes. The nightly temperature is beginning to drop, steadily paving the way for the height of the fall season. It’s not too bad so far, but soon enough the coastal winds will pick up. Delmarva nights get cold this time of year. Steven is warm enough in his bed, isn’t he? He’s got plenty of extra blankets if he needs them? And does he still need to pay the heating bill for this month or did he already—

He chuckles to himself, realizing all the proof he needs of that lays in his meticulously kept checkbook ledger safely tucked away in the glovebox. As always, he’s fussing over nothing. Oh, the woes of parenthood. But his fatherly worries aside, there’s no denying Steven’s genuinely happy living with the Gems. Despite the occasional adrenaline pumping encounter, with Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst’s constant protection there’s really no safer place he could be.

A faint smile lifts his cheeks as his turbulent mind settles and he begins to doze off again.

Just as he’s about to cross that final canyon into unconsciousness, something raps against the door from outside. He promptly rolls over and groans into his pillow.

“I swear if this is another one of those gulls,” he mutters, out loud but more to himself than anything.

“Greg! Yo G-man, get your butt out here!”

He purses his lips. Nope. No such luck. Looks like it’s gonna be Gem business tonight. He shifts to sit up, rolling his shoulders back with an audible pop and brushing his long hair out of his face before finally shuffling across the van’s floor to crack open the back door.

He peers blankly at the short purple Gem standing ready to knock rapid-fire outside, his body filled with such exhaustion that his eye bags probably have luggage of their own.

“Amethyst,” he begins slowly. “It’s long past midnight, and right now the only thing I give a single damn about is how cozy my mattress is, so unless the world’s literally ending again I’m—“

“Steven’s hurt,” she says rapidly, and it’s only then he’s awake enough to notice the panic jittering through her stout frame.

His heart stutters.

“Wait, what?”

At first he swears he’s going senile prematurely. Surely none of this is happening, surely this is no more but a worryingly realistic nightmare, but no. No. Everything is too real. The way the cold salt air tousles through his beard, the faint scent of fish wafting from the docks... In the end it’s the glossiness of her eyes that convinces him. He’d never make dream Amethyst cry, because she rarely does.

Her explanation spills forth in a breathless rush.

“Steven, his gem got cracked, and none of us get how but he’s like, somehow split apart, and- and everyone’s at Rose’s fountain and you gotta come with me right now!”

She’s tugging at his arm by the end, and he has no time to slip on sandals or even lock the door before she yanks him out of the van and under the mask of night. He’s already breathing heavy by the time they near the boardwalk.

“Hurry!” she urges, the moonlight shimmering off the quartz gem embedded in her chest.

“But what even happened?” he asks, voice high with hysteria, huffing to keep up with her pace. “How did he—“

“I already said, I don’t know! None of us do.”

“What do you mean you don’t—“

“Hey, it’s not our fault! She wouldn’t tell us everything,” Amethyst snaps.

“She?”

They race past Fish Stew Pizza. Greg’s stomach gurgles on automatic, (did he really forget to eat dinner again?), but he pays it no attention. Not now, not when his son is hurt, not when he needs him, not when he—

“This new Gem who popped up out of nowhere today! Bismuth. She’s apparently like one of Garnet and Pearl’s old Crystal Gem buddies, and I thought she was pretty okay for a bit, but then Steven just up and disappears, and when he comes back he’s with her and he’s split apart, and one of them is cracked, a—“

“Wait, wait, wait- hold on, you keeping saying that, that he’s split apart?”

She nods in confirmation. Greg can practically feel the age weighing on his body as his bare feet leave the boardwalk and scurry through the sand. His pace doubles, the mere thought of his son injured and (dying??) in pain thrumming in his mind like a rocker’s drumbeat.

“W-what does that even- is there blood, is he still breathing??” he cries, yanking at his hair.

Realization dawns on her face in a wide mouthed ‘o’ when met with his near-meltdown. “Oh. OH, no I didn’t mean like, ‘cut in half’ split apart, I mean that he’s literally fallen apart! There’s squishy organic Steven, and then there’s this creepy pink Steven that’s entirely projected by his gem!”

“His gem fell out of his body!?”

“Dude,” she says, motioning sharply towards the cliffside, “we ain’t got no time to discuss the nitty gritty of this, we gotta hurry!”

With that, she pushes steadily ahead of him, leaving him in the dust- er, sand.

“No time to- Amethyst,” he shouts after her, “for all I‘m aware my son could be dying ‘cause of that, I need to know!!”

Amethyst doesn’t listen, though. Her gemstone glows bright purple, and then she disappears completely into a sphere of white light that rips across the shore at the speed of a stock-car racer. Or faster, maybe— he genuinely doesn’t know. He swears he could hear a mini sonic boom.

“Wait! WAIT!” he yells, throwing his hand in the air as he pushes himself even faster. A sharp pull in his calves causes him to slow to a stop. He doubles over, heaving for breath as he rests his hands on his knees. “I’m not a young man anymore!“

A distant, disembodied voice shoots his way from somewhere on the other side of the cliff. “Just run faster, you’re only like, 40 or somethin’.”

“I can’t!” he says, his voice practically cracking. “That’s the problem!”

Notes:

A bit of a short breather chapter, here- for both you and me.

I imagine Amethyst was holding back her panic last chapter, because she didn't want to further upset Steven. It's only now- apart from him- that she allows herself to finally break down a little.

Greg is so, so fun to write. I think it should worry me that I relate so much to this poor anxiety man.

[psychospeak-blog]

Won’t Go Slowly // 29

A/N: Super late or super early update depending on when you’re reading this.  But enjoy and...Merry Christmas?

One // Two  // Three // Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight // Nine // Ten // Eleven // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen // Fifteen // Sixteen // Seventeen // Eighteen // Nineteen// Twenty // Twenty One // Twenty Two // Twenty Three // Twenty Four // Twenty Five // Twenty Six // Twenty Seven // Twenty Eight

The plan was for Tyler to come over to your house, get you and Marshall, and go back to his house for the night. Then, the next day, you were going to hang out with the dogs while Tyler went to his mom's house to tell his sisters about the whole pregnancy thing, and then all of them were going to come back for Christmas Eve dinner.

So you were waiting on your couch, all your bags ready by the front door, when his car pulled up.  And you watched, through the window, as he got out, and then opened the back door, and Gerry flew out, running towards your front door, Cash following behind him but not at quite the same pace.

"Who's that?" you said to Marshall, who merely looked at you, and then started following you when you got up.

You could hear Gerry whimpering excitedly through the door, and then Tyler saying "Gerry.  Calm down, you're going to hyperventilate."

You laughed, opening the door before he could even knock, and immediately paws were coming at you, Gerry's eyes bulging when Tyler pulled him back by his collar. "I thought I should bring them in so we didn't have a repeat of what happened in the car, but he's even more insane."

"It's okay," you laughed, bending down as best as you could, petting him, his tail swatting against Marshall's body as he went to say hello to Tyler.

"Hey, bud," he said, petting the dog, speaking in one of the most exaggerated dog voices you'd ever heard. "Did you miss me? Did you miss me?  I missed you."

"Hi Cash," you said, when he finally got by Gerry's jumping to get to you, petting him on the head and then placing a kiss there.  You noticed Tyler staring at you at a moment, and then you frowned at him.

"You look pregnant," he said.

"Well, I am," you said, watching as the dogs greeted each other.

"Yeah, I know," Tyler rolled his eyes, "I mean, you didn't look pregnant before. When you had clothes on.  Now, it's like showing.  Like it popped out. "

"You said I looked pregnant when I was 8 weeks."

"Yeah, because your body looked different," he said, "But not big like this."

"Well, it's gonna get bigger."

"Good.  That's what's supposed to happen,"  he said, "Can I....can I touch it?"  and you laughed, standing up, because it wasn't like he usually asked before he touched you, and he looked tentative, like it really was a ball that might burst. And it wasn't like it was doing anything exciting right now.

"Yeah, you can touch it," you said, and he did, laying his hand gently over the bump, and holding it there for a moment.  "He'll probably kick when I sit or lay down.  Or eat something with sugar."

"Hmm..." Tyler said, taking his hand away, "It's squishier than I thought?"

"Squishy?" you asked.

"Yeah, I thought it was going to be hard.  It looked hard," he said, and then scratched the back of his neck.  "Anyways, hi." He leaned in to hug you, placing a kiss on your cheek, and you tried to ignore Gerry jumping against you, to give Tyler your attention for at least one minute.

"I don't like this," Tyler mumbled against your shoulder, and you frowned, "The baby's in the way."

"Well..." you said, like there wasn't anything you could do about it, and he pulled away, walking around behind you.  He wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder.

"This is better," he said, and you raised your thand, patting him on the back of the head. Gerry took the opportunity to jump up towards you, and Tyler caught his paws before he could hit you.  "Be careful, she's got a baby, remember? Since when do you jump up on people?"

"He saw you touching my belly and he wanted to, too," you said, breaking away from Tyler, and leaning down to pet Gerry, who was still wagging his tail hard, begging for your attention.

"You've got claws, remember, dude?" Tyler said, petting him on the head.  And then he leaned over, ruffling the bells on the Christmas collar that Marshall had on that you'd found in the Christmas decorations bin at Tyler's house, "Is this what you were doing at my house?"

"Maybe..." you said, trying to be facetious.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Tyler said, but you just grinned, grabbing the other Christmas collar you'd brought home with you and slipping it on Cash, and then trying to get the reindeer antlers on Gerry, but you had a feeling they wouldn't stay put on him for very long.  "Are you ready to go?"

"Mmm...I just need to grab the ice cream," you said, heading towards the kitchen to grab the tub of vanilla you'd gotten to pair with the peppermint brownies you'd made earlier in the day for Christmas eve dessert tomorrow. You heard paw steps following you, but they seemed to trail off, but you didn't think much of it.

Until you heard Tyler shouting, "Gerry, no!  Off!", followed by a depressed sounding, "Y/N...help."

 You walked back into the living room, where Gerry had his front two paws in the baby swing and was trying to jump him back legs up with it moving under him, all while trying to fend off Tyler trying to get him out.  

"Gerry!  Gerry, C'mhere," you said, and he leapt off, tail wagging as he trotted towards you, sitting down obediently at your feet, and you reached down to pet him, "Good boy. That's not yours, okay?"

"Sure, he's the perfect angel for you, and when he's with me, he's a demon dog," Tyler said.

"Is it really that bad?" you asked, not imagining the innocent face looking up at you to be anything demon-like.

"He's okay, most of the time, once he stopped being pissed off, but then he does stupid shit like this," Tyler said, nodding towards the swing, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, he didn't break it or anything."

"But what if the baby had been in it," Tyler whispered.

"The baby wasn't in it," you said, petting Gerry again, "It's okay, he'll learn."

Tyler still looked a little skeptical, but you loaded up the car with our bag off stuff for tomorrow, while Tyler grabbed your pregnancy pillow from your bed because, apparently, it was essential that you had a good night sleep so you could be on your best behaviour because Santa would be watching on Christmas eve.  Tyler tried to open the passenger side door for you, but Gerry jumped in, turning on the floor and looking up at you, just waiting for you get in the seat.

"You gonna guide our sleigh?" Tyler asked him, and then looked at you, "Get it?  Because he's dressed like a reindeer."

"Yeah, I got it," you laughed, and Tyler got the older ones in the back.   It wasn't long after he started driving that you had Gerry's head in your lap, and Cash's head started peeking between the two from seats.   "Awe, Cash," you said, wrapping your arm around him as best as you could.

Tyler's eyes darted to the side and he smiled, keeping his attention on the road.  "I think you were missed," he said, and then after a moment.  "Did Marshall miss me like even 1%?"

"Yes, he went straight for you," you said, and Tyler smiled again.

"I don't know, he looked pretty well taken care of with you," he said, and then you turned onto his street, and you watching his eyes as he took in the Christmas lights on his house.  "Please tell me you did not do that."

You shook your head, "Your dad did," as he had texted you a few days ago to let you know his plans, and you watched Tyler visibly relax.  But you were still smiling, even as you pulled into the driveway and started unloading the car and letting the dogs out.  You could see the lights of the Christmas tree through the window, as you came over earlier and turned them on, but Tyler seemed oblivious.

"Are you gonna check everything out to make sure its safe, Marshall?" Tyler asked.  "You're such a good guard dog, so scary."

"He's not scary," you said.

"My dad said he was pretty scary," Tyler said, flashing you a smile as he unlocked the door, "I told you they'd protect you if you were being attacked."

"You dad was not attacking me," you said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but he thought you were in danger," Tyler said, and you could not wipe the proud smile off his face, "I'd give him a pound of dog treats, but I know you'd already spoiled the shit out of him."

"I did not ---" you started, but you were broken off when Tyler opened the door, and immediately saw the banister covered with garland and lights, and the hanging candy cane dog treats.  

"What did you do?" he said slowly, trying to take everything in and a slow smile creeping across your face.  He walked slowly up the stairs, and then into the living room, where you'd placed the wrapped gifts for him and his family under the tree, the packages wrapped in paper covered in dogs wearing different Christmas outfits placed up high on the dining room table so  the dogs wouldn't get into them too early.  

"Oooh, there's presents," Tyler said, walking towards you and acting like he was going to pick you up and spin you around, but he frowned when your belly got in the way again, awkwardly tapping you, and then picked Marshall up and turning around in a circle with him.  "Did you help?  Did you help?"

He set the dog down when he started kicking his legs like he was swimming in the air, and hugged you properly this time.  "Thank you, this is awesome," he said, and then, "Cash, no, don't eat that!"

You turned around, to see him nibbling at one of the treats, looking up at Tyler's voice out of the corner of his eye, "No, he can eat that.  It's dog treats."

"It's dog treats?" Tyler asked, half gasping and half laughing, "You really, really need a baby."

"I'm working on it," you said, while Tyler tried to tell Cash to not eat all the dog treats at once.

"I was going to suggest we watch a Christmas movie in bed, but I think we need to on the couch so we can enjoy the Christmas tree," Tyler said, and half an hour later, you were settled into watching ELF, you curled up on one end of the couch with Gerry on one side of you and Cash on the other, Marshall sleeping next to Tyler.  

You grabbed Tyler's hand quickly, pulling it towards you, and sort of leaning him over the two dogs between you, and he looked at you a little concerned until you placed it on your belly, and you watched his face change, a little up tick of his eyebrows, corresponding with the sensation you felt.

"Did you feel that?" you asked.

"Yeah," he said softly, settling his hand there, "That's crazy.  I've never felt that before."

"Really?" you asked, realizing that you hadn't even asked if he wanted to feel it, but you'd just assumed he was waiting for something since he'd asked to touch your belly earlier.  

Tyler shook his head slowly, "Does it hurt?"

"No," you said with a bit of laugh, which turned into a full blown laugh when Gerry started licking your face.  Tyler kind of left his hand there, still looking at you and then back at the TV.

"Is he going to do it again?"

"Maybe," you said, "probably if I eat something with sugar."

He nodded, taking his hand away from you gently, "Tell me if he does it again," he said. "It's cool."

You smiled, laying back a little on the couch, your head pushed against Gerry behind you, relaxing back into watching the movie.  You were so comfortable that when awhile later, your phone pinged, and you groaned lightly, because it was on the coffee table.  And you looked at Tyler sitting up, his feet crossed placed on the coffee table. "Can you get that for me? Please?"

He nodded, leaning forward and picking it up, unlocking it rather than passing it over to you like you thought, reading something on the screen.  "Your childbirth education course is confirmed for March," he said, setting your phone back down on the table.

"Oh," you said, at then you looked at him, ruffling your fingers in Cash's fur next to you, "Do you want to be there?"

"At the class?" he asked, "Uh...I don't think I can?"

"No, not the class," you said.  "At the birth.  If you're not....playing hockey." You were about to say not in the playoffs, but you didn't know if there was some crazy superstitious thing about saying that.

"Do you want me there?" he asked.

"Do you want to be there?" you countered. "I mean, there'll be a lot of medical stuff, so you don't have to stay for the whole thing.  But my doctor said I could have four people there, if I wanted, as long as there aren't any complications.  And my sister, and Danielle are going to be there, and maybe my mom, so you could, if you wanted.  And can."

"I know, but it's not about what I want," he said, "it's about what you want. You're the one having the baby. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You won't make me uncomfortable," you said, gesturing at your body, "the...process might make you uncomfortable."

He gave a little laugh, "I can handle it," he said, "I just don't want to upset you, or stress you out."

"Why would you upset me?"

He gave you a serious look, "The one time I went to the doctor with you, I called your baby a blob."

"That was funny," you said, "It made me laugh, it didn't stress me out. "

He gave you a weak smile, "I just don't want you to ask me to be there because you feel like I want to be there.  I want you to think of yourself."

And you smiled back at him.  "I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't okay with it," you said, similar to what he had said to you so many times before.  

"Can we come up with a signal if you want me to leave?" he said and you laughed a little, "I won't be mad.  I don't want to be too much, or take the attention off of you or like..."

"Sure," you said, because you could see he really was concerned about it.  You both looked back at the movie for a moment, and then Tyler reached out for the remote, pausing it.

"Is there a book I should read or something?" he asked, "Like, I have no clue what to do."

"No, I have clue what I'm doing either," you said, and he looked a little alarmed.  "That's what the doctors and nurses are there for.  And Danielle's gonna come with me to the class, so she'll know that stuff.  But you don't have to come to the class to be there, my sister's not.  You just gotta keep me company."

"I can do that," he said, patting you on the knee.

"It might be pretty....not pretty," you said, "You wouldn't have to stay for the whole thing, when he comes out.  And he also might not look right, right away."

"He might not 'look right'?" Tyler asked, "What do you mean?"

"Like, he might be pretty wrinkly and purple," you said, "and his head might be kind of cone-shaped, from fitting through the birth canal.  But it'll go back to normal."

"His head might be cone-shaped?!"

**

You were kind of nervous, the whole afternoon, as you waited for Tyler to come home from his Mom's house.  You occupied yourself with hanging out with the dogs, and making appetizers to contribute to your appetizer night, as well as texting your sister to send her good vibes for work.  You and Tyler's family always tried to have an appetizer evening and game night some time over the holidays, depending on Tyler's schedule.  This year it just so happened to be on Christmas eve, as your sister was working that evening, so your family plans were for Christmas Day.  Tyler had texted you when they were leaving, to let you know that everything had gone okay, but you were still too anxious to wait, so you decided to take the dogs for a quick walk.  You were almost back to Tyler's house when you heard a honk, and then turned to see Tyler's car, rolling down the window as he passed by you.  "Need a ride?"

You shook your head laughing, letting the dogs off their leashes once you could see Tyler had parked, so they could run the rest of the way to him.  

"Hey," he said, looking up from where he was petting them, all three leashes in your hands, "Was Gerry okay?"

"Yeah, he was fine," you said.  He'd started pulling a couple of times when he saw another dog and got excited, but was fine once you reminded him to heel. "How did it go?"

"Fine," Tyler said, as all of you started going back into the house.  

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said, "I mean, my mom was there, and I told them it was something important I had to talk to them about, so I think they thought it was bad news."

"Tyler!" you scolded, but he only smiled at you, placing a kiss on your head.  

"I told you not to worry."

It was only a couple of seconds later when there was a knock at his door, and then Tyler was pulling the door open, the three women carrying a collection of food containers and gifts.

"Oh my gosh, you look so cute!" Cassidy gushed, pushing the plate she was holding into Tyler's hands and pulling you in for a hug.  

"I love your shirt," Candace added, hugging you from the side with what she was carrying, "Your bump looks adorable."

"If she eats ice cream, you can probably feel him kick," Tyler said, and then looked in your direction, "If that's okay."

"Of course it's okay," you said, meeting Jackie in a hug.  

"Hi honey, how are you?"

"Good," you answered, your chin against her shoulder, "Much better."

"Ty, I need to put this in the oven," she said as she pulled away, taking the dish that he was holding on.

"Yeah, yeah, go for it," he said, and she went to do just that,  while his sisters tried to say 'hello' to the dogs, "You might not get much out of them, they're super attached to Y/N right now."

His sisters made "awe" sounds, like it was the most precious thing ever, and they went to go put the presents under the tree, while you just stared at the door, running a hand over your face.  Tyler looked back at you, like he was expecting you to follow, and then did a double take when you didn't.

"What's --?" he asked, and you waved your hand out, because you were not crying.

"I'm fine," you said quickly, because concern was written all over his features.  "I just can't believe how nice everyone is being to me."

Tyler was still frowning, "Why wouldn't they be nice to you?"

You ran your hand over your belly, whispering the feeling that came up, time and time again, whenever you told a member of his family.  "Because I feel like I'm taking something away from them."

His face dropped a bit, before he wrapped you in a hug, "No, you're not," he said, quietly so only you could hear, "You're giving them something.  Don't think that."

You smiled sweetly at him, going to join Tyler's mom in the kitchen so you could add what you'd prepared to the oven to heat up, so you could all unwrap presents while you were waiting.  "Can the kids go first?" Tyler asked, once you were all assembled in the living room, the savoury smells coming from the oven making you hungry.

"That's rude to ask if you can go first," Cassidy said, "And we're not giving you yours until tomorrow."

Tyler rolled his eyes, "I meant the dogs," he said, looking towards the three labs eyeing the presents atop the dining room table, glancing at you as he rifled through them, "Do you want them to have them all tonight?"

"Just the ones with the stars on them," you said, which contained the Christmas themed toys inside.  The others you could give to them when you saw Tyler on Boxing Day, to keep from completely overwhelming the pups with excitement.  

You watched as Tyler passed out the gifts to the appropriate pups and then said 'okay' standing over them, everyone watching as they tried to tear through the paper, the room filled with a variety of different squeeks and excited tail wags pretty quickly.  

It was adorable.

"Did you tell her 'thank you'? Tyler asked, pointed at you, "Give her a kiss."

And then you were squealing, barely even noticing that Gerry dropped his Christmas tree you, his front paws coming up on your knees, licking your face excitedly before running back to his  toy.  Cash and Marshall came up as Tyler was handing out your gifts to his Mom and sisters, pushing their toys against your leg, and you weren't quite sure if they were trying to play with you or show off that they had gotten something new.

"Oh, these are so pretty!" Candace said, holding up the earrings you had gotten for her.

"Those are from me, too," Tyler said, which was met with an eye roll.

He said the same thing when Cassidy said how much she liked the clutch you got her, and Jackie said how much she liked the smell of the bubble bath and candle you'd picked up for her.

" We're exchanging presents tomorrow," Candace reminded him, to which Tyler asked you in a stage whisper what time stores were open till on Christmas Eve.  Even though you knew, for a fact, he'd already gotten gifts because he'd asked you 'what's that fancy make-up store that starts with an S my sisters like?'

"You can open yours now," you said, turning to Tyler who was seated on the couch next to you, the package already in front of him.  He picked it up, bringing it to his nose and taking a sniff, and then whispering a 'Yes', earning interesting looks from his sisters and mom.  He tore into the package, putting one of your homemade triple chocolate chip cookies into his mouth, while he read the note that was inside, revealing that you'd make him a batch of cookies to send or give to him once a month for the next year.

"Really?" He asked, and when you nodded, he leaned over, placing a kiss on your cheek, frowning, and then wiping the chocolate he'd gotten on your cheek off with his thumb, sticking it in his mouth.  "Can you open mine next?" He asked, "I don't want to have to go after them."

You laughed, taking the package from him, and opening it, finding a gift certificate to get a prenatal massage, along with several of the Big Blue Bath Bombs from Lush you loved.

"Those are the ones you like for your headaches, right?" Tyler asked, "I had to ask Candace what the name of that store with the smelly stuff was, and then I had to go in there and ask then what they had for baths with seaweed in it."

"Yeah," you smiled, laughing a little as you thanked him.  Somehow, it was sweeter thinking about what he did for the gift than the gift itself.

You were presented with a gift bag from Cassidy and Candace next, pulling out the first wrapped item.  

"We got this before we knew you were pregnant," Cassidy said, shooting a glare at Tyler. "But we have the receipt, so you can exchange it for something else."

"It's so cute," you said, looking at the strappy tank top intended for running, that you might just keep until you could wear it again.  You pulled out the remaining package,  a small Christmas gift box from Lush, sniffing the body wash and bubble bar.

"You guys stole my idea," Tyler pouted.

"I'll use it all," you reassured him, like you could ever have enough bath goodies.  "Thank you guys."

"Here you go, honey," Jackie said, sliding the remaining box over towards you.  

You opened it, sliding your hands over the soft, grey and white striped fabric, pulling the items out to look at them.

"It's maternity, but you can wear it after too," she said, as you opened up the pajama pants and matching little cover up robe, and the white crossover tank top.  And then you pulled out the littlest gown, in the same matching grey and white striped fabric of the pyjamas.

"Is this...?" You asked, and she nodded, informing you that it was a sleeping gown for the baby.  And it matched.  "I love it, thank you," you said, crossing the room to give her a hug.

As much fun as the presents were, you were pretty excited to dig into hot artichoke dip, and mushroom caps, and pull-apart bread, nibbling away while everyone debated what game to play.  

Until there was a drop of red on the table in front of you.

"Uhh..." You heard Tyler say, as you tried to cup your hands to catch the blood that was coming out of your nose, trying to grab the napkins that were being thrust towards you. "What is happening?"

"She's having a nose bleed."

"Yeah, I see that," Tyler said, ducking his head a little to try and look at you, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose as you slowly lifted your head back up, "Sorry, I don't know why that happened."

First you were throwing up at their family dinners and now you were just bleeding at the dinner table.

"It's more common for you to get nosebleeds while you're pregnant," Jackie said, "Because of the increased blood volume."

Ohhh.

You stood up slowly, keeping the napkin underneath you and your fingers squeezed on the bridge of your nose, walking to the bathroom to try and survey the damage.

"Is it still bleeding?" Jackie asked from the doorway of the bathroom, and you pulling the napkins away, shaking your head 'no' when you didn't see any more blood.

"Keep pressure, I'll get your clothes," she said, and you could hear the sound of the sink, and then feel her wiping gently at your shirt.

"How have you been feeling?" She asked.

"Better," you said, "A lot better.  Other than this," you laughed, gestering to your nose.  

"Hi Gerry," you heard her say, and then felt him brush against your leg, "She's okay, don't worry."

"I had no idea this was even a thing," you said.

"Yeah, it happened to me a couple of times," she said, "It's normal, as long as it doesn't happen all the time."

"That's good to know," you said, feeling your shoulders relax, even though you hadn't realized they were tense.  There was so much information, you often found yourself writing down questions each time something new happened to your body.  

"You can ask me, you know, if you have questions and need someone with personal experience.  If you want."

You slowly lowered the napkins from your face, so you could look her in the eye.  "I would really like that."

You were smiling at each other, when Tyler leaned his head in the bathroom doorway.  "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," you nodded, wiping at your face while Jackie continued to try and clean your shirt.  

"I was meaning to ask you, honey, when your due date was?"

" Oh," you said, "It's April 19th."

You felt her freeze, and then look at Tyler and back at you again.  "The 19th?"

"Yeah, the 19th," you said, watching as they shared a look again.  "What's wrong with the 19th?"

"Nothing's wrong with the 19th," Tyler said quickly.

"Then why are you guys being weird?"

"Nothing," Jackie said, "It's just Tyler's favourite number."

You looked at Tyler curiously.  "You have a favourite number?"

"Do you know anything about me?" He asked with a laugh, "It was my number for like ever."

You weren't going to tell him that, in the early days of watching him play hockey, it was really just an excuse for you to hang out and drink hot chocolate.

"Did you know?" you asked Tyler and he laughed.

" Yes," he said, "it came in handy when you asked me about 5 times what your due date was after your first ultrasound, even though she wrote it down for you."

"Anyways," Jackie interrupted, "I was just asking because I went early with all three of my kids.  I'm not sure if that's a genetic thing or not, but just so you know."

"Okay," you nodded.

"Do you have any clothes she can change into Tyler?" She asked next, "We should probably get that shirt in the wash."

"Yeah, I got it," Tyler said, as she went to wait downstairs.  "Y'know, you could just change into those pajamas my Mom bought you, so you don't have to wear my clothes."

"It's not even 9 o'clock yet," you laughed.

"Yeah, but my sisters are staying here tonight because we're gonna go see my Dad in the morning.  So we could just all get into our pyjamas, and you could stay here tonight, and then we could have Christmas breakfast in your pyjamas," he said, "I could drive you back to your place so you can go see your family in the morning."

And, three hours later, you were doing just that, you, and Tyler, and Tyler's sisters all in your pyjamas, the dogs alongside you, starting to snore, a Christmas movie on the television, and the lights on in the background, nibbling on the leftover peppermint brownies you'd put out and a box of chocolates Tyler's Mom had brought.

And it felt like Christmas.

[tricklesandtides]

Fill the Void [3/5]

Your phone rings, but you keep driving. You exit the downtown area, making your way through the suburbs. Quiet neighborhoods with cute little houses. You drive slowly, watching figures move through the windows. Couples cooking dinner together, families gathered around the table. A dog runs across the street, and child follows closely behind.

Your phone rings, but you keep driving. You find yourself on a cul de sac, and have to backtrack to make your way out. You make a wrong turn, and end up out of the suburbs, and at the edge of the forested countryside. You continue to go forward, watching the lights of the city disappear behind you.

Your phone rings, but you keep driving.

Eventually you pull off of the highway, struggling to keep your eyes open. You find a quiet corner on a backroad, hidden from view by thick trees, and lock your doors. You turn off the car. You recline your seat, drawing your legs to your chest. Beside you, your phone screen lights up. 12 missed calls, and many more messages from Hawks. You flip the phone over, and close your eyes.

You don't sleep well, but it's enough. When the morning sun wakes you, you're sore and your head pounds, but the night passed quickly and in a blur. Truly the best case scenario. You turn the car on, stretching your angry limbs, and begin your journey back into the city.

You park your car near your apartment, and send a message to your boss. 'I won't be in today- feeling under the weather'. You avoid your face in the car's mirrors. Lord only knows how rough and exhausted you look.

You're blessed with a quiet home. NO rowdy neighbors, no shouts from the street, no radio playing Hawks' usual stations. You leave your shoes and jacket on, and make a beeline for your room. When you open the door, the dim light outlines the lump laying in the center of your bed.

“I thought you'd left me,” Hawks says, his voice raw.

You leave the light off, and sit at the edge of the bed, facing away.

“Where did you go?” he asks.

“Shouldn't you be at work?”

“I couldn't get up.”

He reaches out to you, and you let him cling to your back. His wings, weak and quivering, wrap around you.

“I'm sorry I didn't answer your messages,” you whisper.

“You didn't tell me where you'd gone. I was worried.”

“I didn't really think. I just wanted to be alone.”

“Would have left you be, you could have-”

You laugh, sharp and loud. A harsh contrast from the quiet, tense atmosphere. “We both know that's a lie.”

“You... you saw the interview. Right?”

“Are you serious? Of course I did, what do-”

“Okay, okay,” Hawks huffs, cutting you off and letting go of your body. He slides next to you on the edge of the bed. One wing still lingers around you, hovering mere centimeters from your skin. “I- we just hadn't said the words, I wasn't sure...”

“Do you think I just took off for fun? Joyriding? Like, just a casual road trip in the middle of the night??”

“Well I don't know!” Hawks throws his hands out, one colliding with your arm. “You hadn't said the words, it could have been anything!”

“It was one really specific thing, Hawks,” you say, turning your head to glare at him. “One specific, very hurtful thing.”

“Well I didn't do it, so I don't know what you want from me.”

“I don't know, an apology? Some attempt to make it better? To comfort your suffering girlfriend?” You briefly register your voice echoing off the walls of your bedroom, both of your voices now loud.

“Well I'm fucking sorry then,” he snaps. His wing flutters away, his feathers ruffling like a cat's fur. “Sorry some asshole decided to play some game with me and you had to watch.”

“What is wrong with you? I've been getting publicly dragged for months, and you can't even stand up for me when it's done in front of you? Do you care at all? Did you ever care?”

Hawks visibly flinches at that, his eyes narrowing and his lips lifting up away from his teeth. “You don't think it was bad for me? Do you think I enjoyed that whole performance? You watched it, I was there. You had the chance to stop watching. I lived it.”

“You could have done something!”

“I tried, I swear I tried,” he cries, breaking off into muttered profanities. Hawks stands, beginning to pace around your bedroom.

“Oh yeah, it sure looked like it,” you hiss, remembering the frozen shock on his face as the slideshow started.

“What would you even know about it? You've never had to deal with this kind of thing.”

“I've been dealing with it as long as I've been dealing with you,” you shout, jumping to your feet.

“It's different for you, don't even pretend otherwise. You're not a hero. You're a goddamn office worker.” His voice easily overpowers yours.

You stare blankly at him, and he meets your gaze, his stormy, defiant eyes looking into yours. Just like he does to all those people he likes to make fools of. You wait, gauging his expression, waiting for the apology that probably isn't going to come. Hawks throws himself into the computer chair in the corner of the room, legs hanging over the arm. Both of you wait, daring the other to be the first to break the sudden silence.

Minutes pass, and neither of you make any attempt to move or speak or even look at each other. You thought it would have been easy. A simple 'I'm sorry, I'll do better'. Some kind of reassurance. Anything to ease the apprehension rising to the surface, the anxiety making your skin crawl and your stomach knot.

“Do you think you would be happier with them?” Hawks asks, quietly. You can barely hear him over the pounding of your heart.

“Who?” You force yourself to look at him. He's fidgeting, wings in his lap. His fingers tug at his feathers, just a little too hard. A few come free, and he flicks them onto the bedroom floor.

“Your soulmate.”

You realize that it's the first time he's ever cared to acknowledge the fact that you, too, had a soulmate. Perhaps the assumption that you would pick him, that you would always stayed, had been too ingrained in his mind.

“Why does it matter now?”

“Because you're miserable. And I know you blame me for all of this.”

You take a deep breath. “I know it might seem like it, but I really don't.”

“You'd be stupid not to.” Hawks spins his chair, hair and feathers flowing wildly. He looks so childish, as he does it, that you can't help but dig your fingers into your legs.

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Of course not, I'm just saying-”

“No, go on, I'd love to hear it.”

“For the love of- will you just give it a fucking rest for once?”

“Yup, keep going, you're really helping yourself here,” you say, laughing bitterly. Hawks puts down a foot, sitting upright. He leans forward, elbows braced against his thighs, focusing all his attention on you. He spends a few seconds searching your face before frowning.

“Don't look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you hate me. I know you do, but you could at least try to hide it.”

“I don't hate you.”

“Don't lie to me. You're such a bad liar.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Well I mean, this is all my fault, right? Seems more convenient to just hate me.”

“Okay, fine! Big bad, pro-hero Hawks, responsible for everything! Always the center of attention, everything revolves around him!”

“I never said-”

“Oh yes, lay it on me. Give me that sass you give to the crowd, that attitude that makes all the girls swoon. I'm just another fangirl, right? Just one in a long list, ready to be discarded when the next one comes along.”

“Is that really what you think?” Hawks asks, suddenly deflating, like someone had left a hole in him somewhere, and all the air was starting to rush out.

“It's not a matter of what I think, it's a matter of the evidence. And you have quite the track record.”

“I've already said,” he replies, his words careful and slow, “that you're different from them.”

“You're right. I'm not a threat.”

Hawks seems taken aback by that, and some kind of angry, prideful heat fills your chest. You press on. “That's what that guy said, right? You don't have to compete with me? You win first place automatically. No second place for you here, right?”

Hawks' mouth opens, then closes. He licks his lips, his cheeks flushing pink. His head hangs low, and god, you wish he would say something. Anything.

He doesn't even fight back.

“I think you need to leave,” you say, praying your voice doesn't shake.

“Maybe that's for the best,” he finally replies.

First Part

Next Part

[alsoyouremischievous]

Sides Carry On

Summary: Roman Prince will do anything to protect the life he’s found through magic. This includes enduring lectures from his best friends Logan and Patton, overcoming his evil roommate Virgil, working for the Mage, and defeating the Insidious Humdrum. His life seems to be set out for him - but things can never be easy, can they?

AO3 Link

Ch. 1  Ch. 2

Chapter three

Roman

When I finally get to the station no one is there to greet me. Not anyone I actually know, at least, but there is a man with a grubby piece of cardboard, my last name scribbled across it. Prince.

“That would be me,” I say. He doesn’t look convinced which isn’t surprising considering I don’t look much like what he would have been expecting. That is, I’m not the picture of some elitist rich kid. Especially when I’m not in uniform - my shoes are practically falling apart at the seams. Not to mention I don’t look nearly bored enough, my eyes flickering about and my leg jiggling as I stand in place.

“That’s me,” I repeat, lowering my voice to try to lean into the intimidation factor that puts off most Normals. “Going to check my ID?”

He lets his arms drop to his sides, no longer displaying the sign. “You want to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere, I’ll drop you off in the middle of nowhere,” he sighs.

In the back of the rickety taxi I close my eyes and pull my bag close as he turns on the radio. I get carsick on my better days, and today is not a better day. Not with barely anything in my stomach and anticipation filling up the rest of me.

I’m so close now.

This is the last time I get to come home to Watford. I have no doubt that I’ll return at some point, but it won’t be like this, in the fall and leaving all the world behind me.

“Candle in the Wind” comes on the radio and the cabby perks up, singing along in a tone-deaf and warbling voice.

Candle in the Wind is quite risky, as spells go. It intrigues many boys as it can help to improve your stamina, for lack of better description. Fail to emphasize the right syllable though and whoosh you’ve set an actual fire - one that can’t be put out at that. I would never attempt it, even if there was a call for it, considering my poor luck with double entendres.

The car jolts and I’m tossed forward into the back of the driver’s seat.

“Seatbelt,” He admonishes.

As I pull it on I glance at my surroundings. We’re on a back road and this is not the way to Watford. My body tenses as I peer at the cabby.

He keeps singing, moving up into an intolerable volume.

“Never knowing who to turn too -” He seems comically invested in the song. I think about telling him to belt up.

I check the mirror. His skin is a putrid green color and his lips a garish red. I look back to him as he is right in front of me, like a normal cabbie with crooked teeth and impressive eyebrows. Singing Elton John. Then I look back to the mirror again - green skin, red lips and handsome as a pop star. Goblin.

I do not want to know what he’s up to. Moving my hand to my hip I start mumbling the incantation for the Sword of Mages.

The weapon is truly incredible in that it doesn’t even properly exist until the wielder has the need to call out for it.

The driver hears me and grins, turning to face me.

If Virgil were here he would have an entire arsenal of spells that could serve a purpose here. He’d probably know of an obscure French turn of phrase that would work perfectly. He’s not here though, and I lash out with my sword as soon as it materializes in my left hand. It cuts cleanly through the goblins head and the headrest for good measure. Voila.

The body keeps driving for a moment before slumping and pulling the wheel to the side. There’s no barrier between us, thank magic, so I shove off my seatbelt and scramble into the front to grip the wheel. His foot must still be pushing on the gas as we’re already off the road and accelerating.

I try to steer us back to the road, but I’ve never actually learned to drive so the car swerves into a fence. I’m blown back by the airbag releasing. I never thought I’d go out this way.

The car stops entirely before I have time to contemplate my existence or try to come up with a way to avoid further harm.

I gather my bearings. I'm laying half on the floor and I’ve smashed my face on the window and the seat consecutively. When I tell this story to Logan or Patton I’m leaving out the part where I took off my seatbelt.

Stretching my arm behind me I reach the handle and pull the door open, unending myself out onto the grass. The car managed to tumble through the fence all the way into a field where the engine running is the only discernible sound.

I turn off the engine as I assess the damage. There’s blood splattered all through the car, and unfortunately, all over myself. There are gouges in the grass and dirt from the car and the goblin’s head is sitting a couple feet away, where it must have been tossed from the vehicle.  

There’s no static feeling in the air that comes with an attack at the behest of the Insidious Humdrum. It must have been just another revenge run from a goblin trying to win the crown. Apparently, after I helped the Coven drive them out of Essex they decided that my head was the trophy necessary to become King of the goblins. It’s their own fault for gobbling up drunks in club bathrooms, to the point that the Mage was concerned about losing regional slang.

I pull my sword from the seat where it’s gotten lodged and let it dematerialize. Once that’s done I remember to grab out my bag and rummage through it to retrieve my wand, grimacing at the blood dripping from my sleeve. I can’t just leave this whole disaster to be found and nothing is worth preserving as evidence if the Humdrum had nothing to do with this.

I hold my wand out and feel my magic push up to the surface. “Work with me here,” I whisper, “ Out, out, damned spot! ”

I’ve witnessed Logan use that spell to erase unspeakable things. All it does for me is clean up a fraction of the blood from my sneakers.

The magic is impatient, building up in me and making my fingers shake. “Please,” I urge, “ take it away! ”

Sparks splinter away from my wand like a faulty sparkler.

“Fuck me, come on ,” I shake out my wrist and point again, my stomach turning. My arm feels like it’s burning.

“ Into thin air! ” I shout. A wave of heat sweeps up from my feet as the taxi disappears. And the head. And the fence. And the road…

***

An hour later I trudge up to the driveway leading up to Watford’s gate. Thankfully I only vanished part of that back road and once I reached the main road again I was able to follow it the rest of the way.

Normals in the area believe Watford is like any other ultra-exclusive boarding school, thanks to all the glamours up around the grounds. Picani says that they add new layers of protection to the whole school as the spells are developed. If you’re a Normal I would imagine all the magic buildup would burn your eyes.

When I reach the tall iron gate I reach out and rest my hand on it. That used to be all it would take to gain entrance, the gate recognizing my magic and opening the school to me. There’s an inscription on the crossbar, below the title of the school spelled out over the arch, reading: MAGIC SEPARATES US FROM THE WORLD; LET NOTHING SEPARATE US FROM EACH OTHER.

The Mage had claimed it was a nice sentiment but not logical. In the Coven meeting where he had appealed to change the lack of defenses, he’d scoffed at the idea of taking security advice from a six-hundred-year-old gate. “I don’t expect my visitors to take orders from the cross stitching on my pillows.”

He’d taken me along to that one, with Logan and Patton for good measure, to make an example to the Coven. Won’t someone think of the children!

I tuned out of most of the debate wondering where the Mage actually lived. It’s hard enough picturing him with a house let alone throw pillows. I’d pondered whether I would ever get an invite to his home. He has rooms at Watford of course but he’s away for weeks at a time and I’d used to picture him living in the woods foraging to survive and sleeping in a hollow tree. Adjusting my view of him took some time.

In any case, security gets stiffer and admittance to Watford trickier every year.

Logan’s brother, one of the Mage’s Men, is stationed this year as a guard. I can’t imagine he’s pleased with the state of things considering the rest of the Mage’s Men are probably up in the Mage’s office planning some raid or offensive maneuver while he’s stuck out here, checking in first years.

He moves into my way.

“Alright, Nate?”

“You’re asking me?” he says eyeing me up lazily, dried blood and all.

“Goblin,” is all the explanation he needs.

Nate nods, pulling his wand out slowly to cast a cleaning spell on me. I hate when people do this, it makes me feel like a child. It’s easier than scrubbing it out though, so I mutter a quick, “thanks,” as I go to slip around him.

“Hold up,” he says, putting his arm out. He takes a moment to lay his wand on my forehead, “Special measures, considering the Humdrum is running around with your face nowadays.”

I jerk but don’t pull away from his wand. “I uh, I thought that was meant to be a secret.”

“Yes,” He nods slowly in agreement. “But it’s a secret that needs to be shared with people like me so we can keep you safe.”

I scoff, “If I were the Humdrum, you’d have been eaten by now.”

He doesn’t seem phased.

“Either way then we’d know it was him. Maybe that’s the Mage’s plan.” He lowers his wand at an infuriatingly slow pace. “You’re good to go.”

“Is Logan here yet?”

He shrugs. “I’m not my brother’s keeper”

For a moment I think he’s pouring magic into the words to cast a spell, but he turns from me and leans against the rail in his usual lackadaisical fashion.

***

The Great Lawn is empty. I guess I’m one of the first to arrive. I start running, because I can, and upset a huddle of swallows hidden in the grass. I keep running as they flap and twitter around me, and still past the drawbridge that comes up at night, and the secondary gates, and on until I’ve reached the top of Mummers House where I finally stop to pant against my doorway.

I call for the Sword of Mages again and use it to prick my thumb and press my blood into the stone. There’s a spell I could use instead, of course, to reintroduce myself to the room after being away. The spell takes more work though, and Virgil isn’t even here yet to smell the blood.

My room. It’ll be our room again soon enough but for now, it’s mine. I push the window open with fervor to smell the fresh air and fall back onto my bed as I watch the dust motes dance through the room.

The ancient mattress is stuffed with feathers and preserved through spellwork. Merlin. Merlin and Morgana and Methuselah, it’s good to be back. It’s always so good to be back.

Returning for the first time in my second year had led to me sobbing like a baby in my bed until well after Virgil had arrived.

“Why are you crying already? You’re ruining my plans to drive you to tears, Roman. Pathetic,” he ’d scoffed, as though I’d done it in some elaborate scheme to get one over on him.

I let my eyes fall shut to appreciate the smell.

Feathers. Dust. Lavender.

Water, from the moat.

There’s also that slightly acrid smell that Virgil swears is from the Merwolves. It’s a terrible mistake to give Virgil any excuse to go off about them. Sometimes I catch him leaning out the window to spit at the moat, that’s how much he detests the species.

If he were here already I wouldn’t be able to smell anything over his soap… I take a deep breath trying to catch the scent of cedar.

There’s a rattle at the door, and I spring up reaching for the Sword of Mages yet again. That’s three times in one day. Maybe I should just start leaving it out. The incantation is the only spell that never fails me, but that’s mostly because it’s not quite a spell but more of an oath.

“ In Justice. In Courage. In defense of the Weak. In the face of the Mighty. Through Magic and Wisdom and Good.”

The sword doesn’t have to appear at all. It’s in ‘my possession’ but it doesn’t really belong to anyone. It only comes if it trusts you.

I swing the sword up to my shoulder right as Logan pushes the door open. I let it drop.

“You shouldn’t be able to do that,” I say as Logan crosses the room to Virgil’s desk.

He shrugs and seats himself in Virgil’s chair. I grin.

“If Virgil finds out you were touching his stuff he’ll kill you,” I say, twisting my wrist and letting the sword fade again.

“Let him try,” he sizes me up. “You look terrible.”

“I ran into a goblin on the way.”

He sighs, “Why can’t they just vote in the next king?”

His voice is light, but I can tell he’s testing the waters. The last time he saw me I was barely held together by a mix of magic, willpower, and his hand on my arm. The last time I saw Logan everything was falling apart…

After we escaped the Humdrum and managed to flee back to Watford we crashed the end of year ceremony and it wasn’t pretty. Logan’s family was there - everyone’s family was there - and his mother tore into the Mage.

“This is your fault!” she’d screeched, gripping Logan tightly by the arm as though he would slip away without an anchor.  And then Nate had gotten between her and the Mage and started yelling right back. People must have assumed that the Humdrum was right behind us because the Chapel became a mess of everyone running with their wands out. I can’t blame them - I must have looked a fright still bleeding from my pores (no one can explain what caused that).

It felt more than just chaotic. It felt like the end.

Then Logan’s mum had spelled their whole family away, even Nate mid drawn out shout. They probably only traveled to their car but Logan’s hand, holding on to me as tightly as his mother held him, suddenly vanishing from my arm made me feel as though there was an insurmountable distance between us. It was a very lonely feeling.

I haven’t talked to him since.

I desperately want to scoop him up right this instance and check him over to see that he’s properly okay, but Logan hates scenes almost as much as his mum loves them. My uniform is laid out for me at the end of my bed and I turn to it as an excuse to ignore the urge, putting it away piece by piece. New grey slacks. New green and purple striped tie…

Logan lets out a deep sigh. I move back to my bed and perch facing Logan, trying to control the massive grin that wants to spread across my face. “What could possibly have you so bothered this early on?”

“Patton.” I have to stifle a laugh at his very obviously false put-upon face.

“And what has he done then?”

“Come back,” He asserts, fixing his glasses on his face. I don’t bother hiding my amusement this time, snorting at him without any sort of restraint.

“I really don’t believe that you expected him to do anything else,” I say. It’s always amusing to watch as Logan and Patton re-acclimate to each other.

“The room is already covered in his home-baked goods. He’s not been away near long enough to have needed a care package, Roman.” I really don’t think he cares about whether or not the room contains baked goods. He cares about being eternally thrown off by Patton’s continuous warmth, and about all the awkward missteps they’ll inevitably make while they work at finding their natural dynamic again. I don’t say that though.

“In his defense,” I begin, “his father’s cookies are delicious -”

“You’re only on his side because his side may lead to you getting cookies,” Logan scoffs.

I giggle, “You can’t seriously be implying that Patton’s side is the dark side, are you? It’s Patton!”

“You are perfectly aware that I was making no such insinuation,” he says, rolling his eyes at me with more force than is strictly necessary. He claims that I’m the dramatic one, but I don’t see it.

I swallow another laugh but end up beaming at him anyway. Great snakes, I missed this nerd so much. “And it’s your last year anyway, you can deal with some cookies, for Merlin’s sake Logan,” I let myself finish as though there was no interruption.

He straightens up at that. “It’s our last year, Roman. And I know precisely what you will be doing next summer.”

“What’s that?”

He grins, “Hanging out with me.”

“Hunting the Humdrum?”

“Fuck the Humdrum.”

We both snicker, but I can’t help internally grimacing at the thought of him. The Humdrum looks exactly like an eleven-year-old version of me, which I might believe I’d hallucinated if Logan hadn’t seen him too.

I shudder.

Logan notices. “You are not at your optimum weight range.”

“It’s just the clothes.”

He seems exasperated. “Well change then,” He says. He already has. “It’s near time to head to the cafeteria anyway.”

I hop up to gather my outfit but Logan rises too and grabs my arm in the same place he’d held last time. “It is good to see you,” He says quietly, peering into my eyes.

I smile. Again. Logan has a way of making my cheeks hurt.

“Don’t make a scene,” I whisper back.

Ch. 4

[5hfanfiction]

Wicked Games (Chapter 20)

“That’s what you get when you let your heart win. I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.” - Paramore

Lauren stomped towards us as soon as we stepped out of her room. I could tell just by her facial expression that she was fuming.

“What the hell happened in there?” she shouted at a volume so loud it felt like her voice was bouncing off the walls.

“Um..” was all I could seem to muster in that moment because I had seen Lauren really angry before, but I don’t think I’d ever seen her this mad at me specifically. Was she really this jealous? Although I was upset with her about kissing Matt and kind of scared of the way she was attacking me, my heart leapt in my chest knowing that she was seemingly feeling jealous and possessive of me.

I hadn’t said anything more so Lauren swung her arms in the air impatiently. Luckily, Keana stepped up for me. “We mostly just talked.”

Lauren’s piercing and accusing gaze shifted to her and immediately quipped back, “mostly?”

Suddenly my courage returned to me, trying to come to the defense of the girl who had just been so kind to me. “Don’t you think you’re being a little hypocritical?” I asked spitefully. Why did she think she could kiss Matt and dangle it right in front of me, but still get mad at me for a potential hook up with Keana that hadn’t even been confirmed for her.

Lauren crossed her arms. “At least I didn’t take him to your room and close the door,” she shot back.

Ok, I have to admit that was in bad taste. I looked down knowing I had done wrong, but still muttered under my breath, “seeing it right in front of you isn’t much better..”

If Lauren heard that she didn’t acknowledge it because she turned with a stone cold look in her eye to Keana, pointing her index finger at her, “And I thought you were supposed to be my friend.”

“I am!” Keana exclaimed defensively. “You’re the one who said Camila was single and that I should hit on her.”

This conversation took a sharp left turn that I wasn’t prepared for. I whipped my head to the side to look at Keana, “what?” I squeaked out. Keana automatically looked back at me apologetically, as though she regretted what she revealed.

I let her words sink in for a second and then slowly turned to look back at Lauren. Her face had grown pale, even paler than usual and her eyes were wide. She looked guilty.

Anger surged inside of me. “You pimped me out to your friend?”

“N-no! I mean.. maybe..” Lauren stuttered.

My heart sank. Everything I feared to be true is true. Lauren doesn’t want to be with me and never has wanted to. That is and always has been a pipe dream. She probably thinks I’m an easy fuck and is just spreading the wealth. I should have believed her when she repeatedly told me she was straight.

I really couldn’t decide what was worse, watching Lauren kiss a guy right in front of me, or the frank truth slapping me right in the face that she really doesn’t like me the way I want her to.

Tonight, the night where I finally accepted that I have feelings for Lauren, is the same damn night where my heart got smashed with the realization that Lauren doesn’t have them for me.

I could see Lauren’s mouth moving, but I wasn’t comprehending anything she was saying. My thoughts were buzzing inside of my head and a ringing in my ears was taking over. It didn’t help when Matt made an appearance, trying to regain Lauren’s attention and asking her to come back to the main room with him. I shook my head, overwhelmed with too many feelings all at once. I was sad, hurt, angry, and confused. I couldn’t be here anymore. I pushed past Lauren and Matt, keeping my head down and making a swift exit through the front door.

At first I drove home feeling depressed and near to tears. I drove in silence, not standing to hear any happy songs or any noise whatsoever. I drove slow unable to stop replaying Lauren kissing Matt over and over again in my head. Eventually my sad driving turned into road rage when a car cut me off. I started speeding and weaving in and out of traffic, trying to get home as soon as possible and get away from everyone and everything. I was pissed off and every little thing made it worse. People driving slow, people riding in the left lane, red lights, even an especially excruciating person who was crossing the street at a snail’s speed. Although I was yelling at strangers in other cars I was actually infuriated with myself for putting myself in that situation in the first place. I knew the end result would be this from the beginning and yet I let myself fall for her anyway.

I parked in my street and rushed to my front door. I stormed up the stairs, only stopping to greet Kaeley’s dog and then locked myself in my room.

I pulled my songwriting book out of its hiding spot in my closet and the first thing I scrawled on the first blank page that I found was “FUCK FEELINGS”. The rest was history as I spent the entirety of the night writing a new song, trying to purge the madness going on inside of me.

I woke up the next day with my head laying on my arm and my guitar next to my knees. A substantial amount of drool was on my upper limb and I grimaced with disgust, immediately rubbing it off with my shirt. I wiped my eyes and stretched my arms, to which I subsequently heard a thudding noise next to my bed. I leaned over and realized I had knocked over my songwriting book. It was only then I remembered I had spent the night putting my feelings on paper. I picked up the booklet and looked over some of the lines I had come up with. It wasn’t completely finished with, but it had definitely come together nicely. At least I thought so.

Rereading the lines caused a pang in my chest, reminding me of my horrible night yesterday. I picked up my guitar and started strumming the few chords I had come up with for the song last night. I let myself very quietly start singing the lyrics and quietly start releasing my emotions.

[“Fuck Feelings” - Olivia O'Brien] “I don’t wanna fall for you now..

But it already happened don’t know how

Now I gotta ghost on you cause I can’t get too close to you

And I’m not tryna fall for you now

I know if they left us all alone

I’d be losin all my self control

Now I gotta run away before I say what you won’t say

Cause I can’t handle you and me alone”

I paused for a moment, reading through the chords and lyrics for the chorus. The chorus was the first part of the song I wrote last night when I was feeling most especially pissed off. I didn’t normally write my songs with such explicit language but sometimes curse words are the only way to really express just how emotional you are.

I adjusted my fingers on the fretboard of the guitar and quickly went into the chorus.

“Fuck Feelings

I swear that shit ruins my life

All they ever do is just waste my time

Fuck feelings

Swear that shit ruin my life

No, they never do me right

Fuck feeling how I do when I’m feeling it for you

Fuck feelings, fuck feelings, fuck feelings

Fuck what I’m feeling.”

I stopped playing my guitar and just closed my eyes, going acapella into the next lines, which were my favorite of the song so far.

“I can’t help myself when you’re around

Baby, I’m just tryna figure you out

I don’t wanna watch you turn me down

So I’m just gonna turn back and go now, go now.”

I sang the chorus one more time and felt like the transition from the verse was pretty awkward. I would have to make a bridge at some point, but I did not have the energy for that right now. The song definitely still needed some polishing and the transitions were off, but I could certainly see its potential. It sure as shit was conveying my emotions and that’s all I really wanted to do with songs that I write.

I sighed and sat in silence for a few moments. I woke up with a feeling today that could only be described as expected despair. I was depressed, but not shocked to be feeling that way. It wasn’t an emotional state that I was unfamiliar with so it didn’t affect me completely. It wasn’t debilitating, but I felt heavy.

I picked up my phone off the nightstand and checked it for the first time since waking up. It was 11 AM. I had a message from Keana with an apology. We had exchanged numbers last night while in Lauren’s room. I also had a few messages from Emma, but that made my stomach turn with confliction, so I decided to save them for later when I was more mentally stable. I had no messages from Lauren. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, but I certainly was not surprised.

I messaged Keana back letting her know it was not her I was upset with and then I checked my emails. To my delight, my Neuroanatomy class was cancelled today. It was like my professor knew I had just had the shittiest night. The next email I saw made me freeze.

It was from USC. They have one of the top physical therapy programs in the country, if not the best. Their school was the one I had been most interested in since I started college. I applied to their doctorate program over the summer and have yet to hear anything back.. until today. Apprehensively I opened the email and scanned the first couple of lines.

I jumped up with excitement. They wanted an interview with me! I made it to the interview phase. This was huge. If you made it to the interview, you were pretty much guaranteed a spot as long as you showed up and didn’t say anything crazy.

This was exactly the boost I needed for the day. I called up my mom and excitedly told her the news. Joy went through my whole body as she expressed how proud of me she was and encouraged me to keep working hard.

Suddenly I had loads of energy. Wallowing in sorrow the rest of the morning no longer seemed appealing to me. I had another two hours until basketball practice so I decided I should get there early and put up some extra shots. After all, our last game of the semester before finals week, which also happens to be against our rival school Bearmount College, was in two days so I definitely wanted to be prepared.

My favorite place to be is alone in a gym because it gives me a chance to clear my head, with all my focus on a basketball and a hoop. I could certainly use some head clearing right about now. Although the great news had cheered me up for a moment, the pain of rejection was still heavy in the back of my mind. I knew basketball could be the one thing to distract me.

I quickly put away my guitar and song book and then changed into my practice uniform. I marched into the kitchen next, picking out a piece of bread and slathering peanut butter on top. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, held the peanut butter bread with my mouth and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge before making my way out to my car.

After getting my shoes and a ball from the locker room, I arrived at the gym and sighed with relief when I found it to be completely empty. The smell of wood hit my nose and I instantly relaxed. This was my happy place.

I stretched minimally and then placed my headphones into my ears. I drowned out everything that had happened last night. I entered my own little world where the only thing that matters to me is this basketball in my hand.

I fell into an easy rhythm very quickly and my brain shut off. My muscle memory kicked in and I was completely locked in on this sport.

Maybe twenty minutes went by when I started to get an uneasy feeling like someone was watching me. I turned to find Lauren standing just beyond the sideline watching me. ‘Of course’ I internally griped.

Her hair was up in a bun and she was already in her practice uniform. Not a speck of makeup was on her and she looked the complete opposite of how she looked last night, and yet, she still looked like a goddess to me.

I was dribbling and once I saw her, I cringingly dribbled the ball off my foot. Immediately she started chuckling at me, which automatically infuriated me.

The ball rolled towards her and she picked it up and started tossing it back and forth in her hands. “I hope you don’t do that in the next game,” she joked.

I wasn’t in the mood for jokes today, especially ones at my expense, so I only stared at the floor blankly and shrugged. I ran my hand across my forehead which was glazed with sweat and did my best to avoid looking at her.

She just kept talking and wouldn’t leave. She was acting as though the events that took place last night never happened. I wasn’t having a difficult time tuning her out, but the anger inside of me was bubbling quickly.

Basketball had always been the one thing that was mine. The one thing that could be my safe haven away from the rest of my problems.. but now.. basketball involved her. I could no longer use basketball as a place to escape, because of her. I had no freedom from her. I could not escape her. It all came to a boiling point.

“Can you just leave me alone!” I burst out, my patience reaching empty. Her mouth popped open in shock at my emotional eruption.

“I don’t mean to be mean,” I said quickly. “I just need to clear my head, and the only way I can do that is if I’m alone, with a basketball in my hands and headphones in my ears, with no distractions,” I stated bluntly. My eyes only peeked up at her when I said the word 'distractions’ to emphasize that I meant her.

Unfortunately that got me in trouble because I met her gaze when I did that. I can never look away when that happens. Those frustratingly enticing eyes stared at me for a moment, recognition finally flashing across them before her facial features softened. “I understand,” she said. She bounce-passed the ball back to me, turned, and walked out of the gym without another word.

I shot a two foot jumpshot infront of the basket and sighed as the ball swished through the net, feeling like a genuine asshole. I reached into my pocket and started my music back up. After a couple more minutes of shooting around, doing dribble moves and shots that felt natural, all while imagining in-game situations, my head finally stabilized. In doing so, I quieted the thoughts of her and numbed the feelings that came along with them.

Eventually I decided to take a break and rest up a little before practice started. I went back to the locker room to get a snack out of my bag. Since practice was about to start in twenty minutes, most of the team was in the locker room chatting. I waved at a few of them as I entered. I still had my headphones in so I couldn’t hear anything, but most of my teammates were suspiciously surrounding Lauren and talking very animatedly.

I took a seat at my locker, looking through my bag for my banana chips. I sighed, curious to hear what was going on, and removed my headphones.

“Lo, how did you get him? I’ve been hitting on him all year!” Kyla was the first voice I heard.

“Maybe cause you’re a freshman Kyla,” Lauren swiftly responded with a light laugh.

“That instagram post was so cute!” Ally squealed.

My heart sank. What instagram post? Against my better judgment I pulled out my phone and went to the app, regretting it before I’d even seen it.

Lauren posted a picture with Missy and then one with Matt. His arm was around her waist and they were both grinning from ear to ear. They looked like a perfect couple. It made me sick to my stomach.

The caption, however, made me want to hurdle my phone at the wall. “Happy birthday Missy! It felt like my birthday too with this guy around.”

I could feel the hot tears forming in my eyes. It took one night with him for her to start posting cute pictures with him to broadcast to all of her friends and family. For some reason, this felt like an even harder slap to the face that she does not and never has felt romantic feelings for me than last night did. I thought I was special to her, but I’m not. It is so clear that I am not.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to punch the wall. I could do none of those things without causing a scene and freaking my whole team out. I could feel my face getting hot so I knew I needed to get out of there as soon as possible to avoid detection. I wouldn’t dare let Lauren know how much this is impacting me.

I took a deep breath and stormed to the bathroom, where I pathetically and silently cried for a few minutes. She finally did it, she finally got me to cry over her. The combination of her abrupt change in her demeanor after last week, what I witnessed last night, and now her clear public display of affection for someone else, sent me over the edge.

I had been so confused by this girl and it had caused so much turmoil within me, but there was nothing to be confused over anymore. She does not care about me in the way I hoped she would and she never will. I have gotten that confirmation multiple times and chosen to forget it. I will never forget that fact again.

Eventually I calmed down. I wiped my face, making sure to remove any evidence of this emotional breakdown, and then ran out to the gym for practice.

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Wattpad: mothertruckin