#I’m Getting Off Topic!!! Time To Shut Up and Hit Post!!!

[sunshiinebeetle]

Plural Mars Analysis

This is just chapter 1 cause it's kind of late- let me know if you want more!! I have many thoughts on chapter 2 and 3 so far :]

I'll be posting pages of the comic for readability, but PLEASEEEE read it HERE!! I leave several pages out and it'd be really sad not to support the original.

It’s important to note here how the bunny plush very quickly switches from aggressive to hurt and scared. The aggression is a defense mechanism, but not one that Mars wants to use. It comes from fear of breaking their “normal”. Once it’s shown that Laika won’t be easily scared off, it stops and runs away. Akin to an opossum (which have a very weak bite strength) flashing its teeth. I believe that the bunny was never going to hit Laika, at least not very hard (especially when later it’s shown that Mars has extreme reactions to the idea of hurting people).

Ok very important 2 pages, cause SYMBOLISM!! Willow has mentioned before that they packed a lot of symbolism and hidden clues into Laika’s, especially involving Mars’ backstory in chapter 1. The motif of bunny, kitty, teddy is shown on these two pages, the second is the “intro” page for Mars. It’s not lost on me that these three plushies are in the debut shot. They’re a deep representation of them! This will be elaborated on later, but for now I’m going to break Mars down into 3 alters. Bunny (timid, flight response), Kitty (neutral/happy, protected from those emotions), and Teddy (serious, fight/fawn response). I’ll be referring to them by these names to keep the confusion to a minimum.

Here we see Teddy Mars holding the bunny plush (representing Bunny Mars) and once again trying to intimidate Laika into going away. This is a weaker attempt, and shows Teddy’s fawn response as well- they don’t want to offend Laika so they use polite language, but still ask a question that will help them understand how best to protect the system. They don’t drop their stars until Laika displays that she’s not a threat. Notice what Laika is saying and how Mars’ reaction shifts entirely…

This is because Bunny switches in! Teddy is still co-fronting (as they’re prone to do) to keep an eye on things, but generally lets Bunny lead the conversation. Right away you’ll notice that Mars’ claws go away. Teddy’s claws are often extended because they’re on edge and protective, but Bunny has softer paws (and a complex about hurting things). Teddy’s claws are out when they cast the magic because Bunny doesn’t use magic intentionally. Bunny seeks comfort from Laika as soon as they know she’s safe.

Arguably there’s a hint of Kitty Mars in here too, especially on the second page. Bunny’s body language is often very closed off and small, but when Mars offers to show Laika their room and toys, their posture opens up and their tone shifts!

During the first page Mars is very blended between Bunny and Kitty. This is to emotionally protect Mars as they walk past all the portraits of their past. I’ll explain more later, but Kitty Mars is walled off emotionally from (at least some of) their trauma, while Bunny bears the guilt for it. You can see them both emote during the conversation- up until Kitty blends in, Mars doesn’t really use any enthusiasm in their dialogue. Literally zero exclamation points. But between the two “oh!”s, Kitty peeks through in the conversation :]

Then there’s a bit of wind as Bunny talks more, subconsciously using their powers due to their melancholy. The mood gets more tense as they breach a painful topic.

Mars avoids the question, shutting down emotionally… Kitty is likely booted from the front due to the traumatic nature of the topic. This coincides with their arrival at Mars’ room, which is perhaps also a trigger for Kitty to leave. The lightheartedness from their headmate disappears and leaves Bunny feeling hurt.

This is the first time we see Bunny properly shut down. They try to confide in Laika about their guilt and seek comfort, but she doesn’t quite get it… Good effort though!! Bunny’s routine and mental state at this point is a form of self punishment. They can’t leave because they haven’t hurt enough to pay for it. But at the same time they desperately don’t want to be alone. They’d had fun meeting Laika, but since she can’t stay (that would be “selfish”) and Mars can’t leave (that would be “disobedient” and “too good for them”), they just get even more hurt when Laika gives them a non-solution that just reminds them of their loneliness. The reality dawning on them feels crushing.

Bunny’s subconscious magic spikes again. This provides a solution to their conundrum- it’s not their choice, but authority’s. They won’t have to tell Laika to leave, which would break their heart, playtime is simply over. Teddy comes back to help Bunny cope and not break down- their speech becomes more clipped and formal, and their expression neutralizes (except for when it cracks, showing Bunny’s feelings). Teddy’s fawn response also shows, asking Laika politely to do the same as them. BIG ol trauma response. Clearly this was the way that Mars survived every scary encounter before. It’s trained, and likely why Teddy split in the first place.

Teddy is polite again, and using their magic intentionally to make the encounter run smoothly. They keep giving Laika instructions so that nothing goes wrong. This behavior implies that they were punished over very small things, even hesitation.

More trauma responses!! Mars looks almost bored here, but it’s actually Teddy’s trained neutral expression. You can’t get yelled at for feeling things if you’re feeling nothing! Teddy is maintaining this to mask Bunny’s fear of being around their parents, but it’s a hard thing to do. As tension gets higher, Bunny’s expressions show through and they start shaking.

Bunny is resigned to riding out this encounter, but Laika can’t stand for it. She interrupts, which terrifies Teddy. She’s way out of line in their mind, and they don’t want anyone to get punished when they can simply take the hurt. Teddy snaps at Laika, using their powers on accident for once. When Laika gets hurt by this, Bunny gets scared for two reasons. 1. They hurt someone, a severe trigger for Bunny. 2. It wasn’t Bunny controlling the body in a situation where they were otherwise the main pilot. This is an objectively terrifying thing to happen, and there’s often a lot of emotional conflict about this in systems who don’t know what’s going on.

Bunny is triggered and shuts down once again. Teddy directs the magic to get Laika out of there and away from Bunny to help them calm down. The earrings doll tries to grab Laika, while the tie doll swipes at her; this implies that they were the more violent and impulsive of the two. Additionally, the tie doll hurting the earrings doll was likely an allusion to domestic abuse between Mars’ parents. However, both were abusive to Mars in their own ways.

Laika unintentionally invokes the royalty/fairy tale symbolism, which speaks to Bunny and cuts through their shutdown. Since their reality hurts so much for them, they find everything much easier to process in stories.

You could see this as Bunny breaking down, but I think it’s Teddy too. Throughout this chapter, Teddy has been nearby suppressing everyone’s emotional reactions to protect them. But now they give into the hurt and the guilt and the loneliness and finally let themself AND Bunny express how they feel. It’s only now that they accept that vulnerability that they can drop their intentional disguise of everything in town. They hid everything to keep Kitty and Bunny happy, to keep them safe. But now that there’s someone else to protect them, they let themself be a scared kid and all of their hard work crumbles under the stress of keeping everything together. (At the beginning of this chapter when Mars is introduced, Teddy was playing with Bunny to keep them happy and distracted. Bunny feels lonely despite their headmates company and is prone to spiraling when they feel bad, so part of Teddy’s job is to entertain them to keep the illusion of stability.) Anyways that's all for now :3 I'll probably do the rest of the comic later. Keep in mind that everything I say here is just my interpretation and I could definitely be wrong! Though it'd be fun to see how accurate I am hehe

obligatory @laikascomet tag <3 yes i'm the same guy who mentioned it on stream :]

[feverish-dove]

Hiihihi

I just wanted to say I really liked the way you wrote Senku!!! :3 and I was wondering if you had any more thoughts on the guy. Headcannons, or quite literally anything. Truthfully, I just wanna hear you yap about him. (Hes an Obsession 💔) Full liberty to write whatever that comes to your mind!!!

(and I completely understand if you don't. Just wanted to let you know how much I liked your thoughts on him :))

Senku Headcanons

Holy shit i'm sorry this took so long. It was not my intention to leave y'all hanging for so long. Especially for an ask when I said my inbox was open. Life's been crazy but that's no excuse. Also really weird question but I ended up making myself a Seto Kaiba (yes from Yu-gi-oh!) multipart fic as a birthday gift to me. lmk if anyone is interested in me publishing it lol. One more thing like two other people tagged me in a song trend and I swear I'll get to it too! I just don't know who to tag next haha. Senku Ishigami x Reader warnings: minor spoilers but they're not really important word count: 2,064 not cross posted on any other platform

Pre-Petrification

Y’all probably started out as classmates who argued about your specific hyperfixation interest lmao.

He noticed you because you challenged him—not emotionally, but intellectually. Most people couldn’t keep up, but you corrected him and were right. (You were NOT playing. It was more than likely something stupid like FNAF.)

He totally pretended he wasn’t interested at first. Played it cool, but Taiju saw the way Senku looked at you when you talked about your interests.

Homeboy wants to learn everything about everything. Hence his sudden bugging about your knowledge on a topic he isn’t fully educated on.

You both stayed after school often—him for his experiments, you for your own interests. Eventually, you started hanging out by accident more often than not.

He offered you coffee from a vending machine one day and casually said, “It’s statistically proven that shared caffeine intake boosts cognitive synergy.” You think that was his weird way of flirting.

The first time you called him out for overworking, he smirked and said, “Tch. Worrying about me already?” You replied, “Obviously.”

He confessed in a weirdly clinical way: “I’ve run the numbers. Being with you would significantly enhance my quality of life. Wanna test that theory together?” (Listen I know this sounds lame but go rewatch the first episode I promise you he talked like this T^T second hand embarrassment rewatch.)

You said yes in the most nonchalant way possible. By jumping up and down.

Taiju had no idea this was coming.

Yuzuriha knew this was coming.

He wasn’t very physically affectionate at first—he’d tap your hand when passing notes or adjust your collar like it was nothing, but it meant everything.

You helped him with a big experiment once, and he added your name to the credits. You argued that Taiju did way more work, so he should get the credit! Taiju just laughed you off.

Senku just wanted your name written next to his permanently. He published the document so you’ll be metaphorically stuck with him forever since nothing truly gets erased once it’s on the internet. Unless of course humanity was going to turn into stone but what's the likelihood of that?

Your first kiss wasn’t planned. You were mid-argument about the stupidest possible thing you could think of, and he just leaned in and kissed you to shut you up. “There. Now can we get back to the part where I’m right?” This just caused the fight to escalate because him, ‘right?’ Who does he think he is? You were totally winning!

He starts explaining things differently to you—not because he thinks you don’t get it, but because he enjoys seeing your reactions.

This is also how y’all became known as that couple who is always on facetime instead of just calling one another. (I get it, I too watch those gacha reaction videos at my grown age.)

When the petrification hit, he was thinking about you. Not in a romantic way like Taiju did with Yuzuriha, but instead in a, “it’s been about 1,245 years so far so they should be at ‘x’ coordinates because they were at ‘y’ when the beam hit.” “Clothing needs to take higher priority than initial calculations. They might not be comfortable being naked in the wild, extreme scenario or not.” Etc.

Stone World

Senku doesn’t realize he likes you right away. He’s hyper focused on survival, but you keep showing up to help—always curious, always sharp.

You challenge his ideas, not to be rude, but to push him further. That’s what gets his attention.

One day you show up with materials he didn’t ask for but desperately needed. He stares at you and says, “…You’re terrifyingly efficient. I like that.”

When you’re injured, he freaks out silently. He’s cold and efficient treating the wound, but he doesn’t sleep that night.

He builds you your own workstation so you can tinker with him. No one else gets one. Chrome whines because yuo don’t even use it half the time!

Gen teases him constantly. “Senku, your little lab assistant’s got you all flustered—should I schedule the wedding, or…?”

He confesses in the least romantic way possible: “I don’t believe in fate, but statistically, I’d rather build civilization with you than without you.” You had no idea it was a confession until he later refers to you as his girlfriend. It’s as much of a shock to you as it is the rest of the villagers.

You tried to kiss his cheek for sharing the cotton candy with Homura. Instead you ended up kissing his lips by accident. Your first kiss tastes like mineral water and burnt sugar from failed wire experiments.

Senku tries to pretend nothing changed after you get together, but he starts letting you touch his stuff. That’s a big deal. The village only has so much material to come by, after all.

You once called him “handsome” absentmindedly. He froze mid-step, dropped his charcoal pencil, and never brought it up again. But he remembers.

You’re the only one allowed to sit on his lap while he sketches blueprints. Sometimes he forgets you’re there until you shuffle. (Note: this does not work when he gets the invention idea at first. He gets too excited and wiggles too much. It’s only for refinement.)

Speaking of notes, congratulations, your new status as being around Senku 24/7 means you’re the official Note Taker of the new world! Title Pending.

“bUt FeVeR, dOn’T tHeY aLrEaDy HaVe A rEpOrTeR?” Shut up, I said what I said. You’re more recording data and experiments to make the first books and logs rather than make a record of history. Your beloved boyfriend is the one who gave you this task because he hates you. Jk. It’s because he doesn’t have enough hands to write everything down and conduct experiments at the same time so you have to do it for him.

Speaking of which, Senku is a certified yapper. Don’t let his nonchalant persona trick you, he’s anything but chill. If you also go off on tangents Gen is probably the one forced to break you both out of your excitement… again. (Listen they tried Chrome but he just joined in and Kohaku will not hesitate to beat both your asses so Gen it is. Poor guy lol.)

He’s not big on traditional affection, is what a liar will tell you. If anything you’re the one less prone to PDA. Now I say this but it comes with terms and conditions. Senku’s a busy guy, he likes to use his mouth–hold up–for giving instructions. So kisses are more rare. He also needs his hands for crafting, writing, just about anything really. So while he does like hand holding it’s a bit harder to get to. Which leaves y’all mostly just leaning against each other to show affection.

He does cuddle though. If it’s hot he’ll complain but that’s just because he likes to run his smart-ass mouth.

The villagers think you’re married already because you’re always beside him. And caveman laws. Senku won’t correct them.

Bonus: one day, he casually hands you something shiny and says, “This alloy’s rare. Only made it for one person.” That’s how you get your engagement ring—made from meteorite metal.

General

He’s incredibly observant, even when he seems distracted. If you so much as wince from a splinter, he’s already pulling out tweezers and homemade antiseptic.

Pet names are rare, but he sometimes calls you “Einstein,” “my lab partner,” or “miracle cure,” depending on his mood and what you’ve helped him with.

He won’t say “I love you” often, but he builds entire systems and tools just to make your life easier. That’s his way of saying it.

He builds you a custom gadget that only you can use. It’s completely unnecessary in the most loving way possible. Might even make it so on purpose just so you think of him, even if it is because of annoyance. Little shit.

Senku teaches you science constantly, even when you’re just trying to nap. He says knowledge is the ultimate gift. You say he is. He says you’re trying to distract him. You were.

When he works too hard and skips meals, you force-feed him ramen. He grumbles, but later admits you’re the only one who can make him willingly slow down.

You’re the only one allowed to mess with his hair. He pretends to complain but leans into your touch when you pull it back or wash it. Lives for your head scratches. Me too girl, me too.

He keeps small souvenirs of you in his lab coat—notes, dried flowers, a tiny bead you once gave him—and says it’s “just sentimental chemical bonding.”

Cuddles aren’t rare, but when he crashes from exhaustion, he clings like a koala and refuses to let go until morning.

He blushes like mad if you kiss him in public, but not because he’s shy—it’s because his brain short-circuits with affection.

If you get sick, he goes overboard researching herbal and chemical remedies, refuses to sleep until you’re better. Gets sick afterwards.

He gets quietly jealous when others impress you—then doubles down on his own projects to one-up them.

He lets you be the first to see every new invention, no matter how trivial. Your reaction matters more than the scientific community’s.

He absolutely remembers every important date (your birthday, anniversary, the first time you kissed). He’ll never make a big show of it, is the first lie he ever tells you.

If you’re sad, he gives you rocks that glow in the dark, handmade magnets, or funny contraptions to make you smile. Shiny rock theory anyone?

You once joked you wanted a robot. He built you one. It only says one phrase: “Senku says drink water.” Because he’s a petty asshole and you wouldn’t have passed out on the track field if you just listened to him! (Really trying to think of a Mecha Senku joke but I can’t. All I got is clang, bang, bang.)

He respects your boundaries like a contractual agreement. If you say “no,” he steps back 10 paces and documents your preferences for future reference.

You’re the only one allowed to tease him without being hit with a snarky comeback. He just smirks and says, “Tch. Fine. You win this one.”

Any inventions that might mildly convenience your life he will 100% make extra just for you. Like when he made a hair conditioner. (Shameless plug here, y’all should read my ‘Sun Kissed Science’ because it’s about him inventing sunscreen for you.)

If you cry, he freezes up, then offers you logical comfort “It’s a temporary emotional spike, we’ll regulate the cortisol levels.” Yes he does get better about this if it’s after petrification.

He teaches you math with rocks and sticks, and you somehow end up loving it because he makes it sound like magic. (That one Tumblr post that’s like “I told him to teach me about physics the same way he talks about poetry.” Or something idk I can’t remember.)

If anyone flirts with you, Senku swoops in with cold facts that thoroughly humiliate them. “You do know flirting with someone in a committed relationship is statistically foolish, right?”

When he’s working late, he lets you fall asleep in his lab, covering you with his jacket without waking you.

He grins like a devil when you match his sarcasm. He’s met his chaos equal and loves it.

He has a specific notebook labeled with your name. It contains sketches, formulas inspired by you, and a list of projects to make your life easier. It’s made of leather and crappy paper and love.

Gen called you “Senku’s moon” because he claims you’re the one constant that keeps his tides in check. He only said this to Senku but you’ll never know since he’s too embarrassed. He has absolutely threatened Genw ith manual labor if he spills.

You once called him “hot” during an argument, and he nearly walked into a tree. He denies it, but Kohaku saw.

When the two of you argue, it turns into a debate show. People bring snacks. You both win.

He secretly carved your initials into a spot behind the observatory, visible only when the sun sets just right.

He doesn’t believe in fate, but when you touch him, he swears his neurons fire in patterns he can’t explain—and that’s saying something.

@mylostleftfootsock im so sorry for the wait!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Wicked Games 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: non/dubcon, cheating, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Steve Rogers

Summary: you had a one night stand. Or did you?

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You’re not ready but you have to be. The taxi ride doesn’t give you much time to get yourself together. You tip the driver and thank them before you get out to face the music.

The red brick building lures you back to reality. You barely get a step into the apartment before your name rings out. Barrett appears at the end of the hall and you shut the door.

You sigh and hang up your keys and purse. You keep your phone in your hand and face him. 

“Hey, I called work. Let them know I’d be starting late.” He sways at the threshold to the front room. He’s nervous, maybe even guilty. You ignore that tickle in the back of your head. 

You’re silent as you veer into the kitchen. He follows and looms behind you. He teeters in the doorway as you put your phone on the counter. You focus on making another coffee. 

“Are you feeling okay? You look tired.” He’s pandering just like he always does after a fight. He won’t apologise, he’ll just act like a dog with its tail between its legs. 

“Yeah, I’m tired. Exhausted. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to wash my mug out.” 

You open the cupboard and take out a cup. He sniffs. “Honey, please, I swear, it wasn’t about the mug. I’m stressed and I miss you--” 

“So, you call me lazy? You yell at me?” You slam down the lid of the machine. The surge of anger quickly swells and erases the night already washed away with the vodka. “I told you, if you ever yell at me--” 

“I know, I know. It won’t happen again. I was emotional. I was stupid. I don’t know why I started it all. Really. I think...” he shakes his head and drops his chin. He looks up at you shyly and gives a sad smile. “I miss you. I guess having you mad at me is better than you ignoring me so--” 

“I wasn’t ignoring you. I asked for five minutes to change and you wouldn’t get off my back.” 

“Yeah.” He rubs his cheek and mopes. He stares at you and you stare back. You wait. The air roils between you as he thinks. You see the frantic glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, uh... I’m sorry?” 

“Are you apologising or are you just saying what I want to hear?” You challenge. 

“No, I’m sorry,” he says more firmly. 

“For?”  

His brows furrow and his lips part. “For... uh... babe... you know... what I did.” 

The machine quits grinding and you throw your hands up. You turn around and pour yourself a cup. You inhale the scent and it eases the hangover thumping in your skull. 

“Just go to work.” 

“Babe--” 

“Take some coffee, I don’t care,” you swipe up your phone and shuffle toward the other door. “But go. We need space.” 

He doesn’t speak until you reach the doorway, “I’m trying.” 

You don’t respond. You go to the bedroom and shut the door. You need a shower and sleep. You want to wash off yesterday and forget it all.  

You can hear Barrett in the kitchen. Your phone vibrates and you check the screen. You expect a call-in but find a text instead. It’s from a strange number. The message makes your heart skip. 

‘Last night was amazing. Would love to see you again. Let me know when’s good for you.’ 

Your hand shakes and you gape at the text. You tap your thumb to expand the options and hit the center; ‘block’. Last night did not happen. You put your coffee on the nightstand and chew your lip. 

As soon as the message swooshes away, another flies in. It’s Wendy; ‘hey, you good? You left before I woke up.’ 

Your blood slows and your head pulses. You have to sit down. You grimace at your phone. She doesn’t remember either. She has no idea you didn’t go back to her place. Good. That means it can all stay forgotten. 

You press reply and steady the phone with both hands. ‘Sorry, had to get back. Barrett called. Thanks for the night out.’ 

You hit send. As soon as your fingertips touches the screen, your stomach flips. You throw your phone on the bed and race to the door. You swing it open and scurry into the bathroom.

You hurl into the toilet as your husband calls from the kitchen, “babe? Everything okay? Want to me to stay home and take care of you?” 

You groan and lean your head on your arm. You heave and swallow back another wave of nausea.

“Just go!” You snarl back. 

Maybe it’s what he did. Maybe it’s what you can’t remember you did but you need him gone. You just need a chance to get your head straight and figure it all out.  Not just what happened or didn’t happen, but what’s going to happen next.

You can’t keep doing this with Barrett. This is the last fight you’re having about a goddamn dish. 

[seungrem]

Han Jisung x m!reader

‘Close Enough’ ~*+

summary: Before leaving for the day, han asks reader to check a supposed injury that he has. While examining the boy, reader uncovers his true intentions.

( normal smut, top!han x bttm!reader, intern!reader x idol!han, mutual feelings/crush )

a/n: posting this just to hold u guys over until i finish part 2 of chan’s fic :))

emoji code:

🌱 ( oneshot / short fic - around 3k words )

❄️ ( smut, minors DNI, 18+ )

☁️ ( y/n )

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

After an easy day of wrapping up a project, it was now 2 am- meaning that ☁️ could finally go home. A member of the staff, the boy quickly assisted his team in packing up their equipment from the home.

Though the majority of the staff began to leave, ☁️ decided to check in with each member before he left as well. Saying his goodbyes to all but one, the boy approached the last room down the hall. ☁️ slowly drew closer to the door, knocking lightly. While waiting for a response, he repositioned the bag around his shoulder to sit comfortably.

“Han? Are you in here?” ☁️ opened the door, slowly inching into the room. A dim, orange lamp was on, but there was no sign of the idol. He looked around the room to make sure Han wasn’t hiding, which he’d done many times before.

After seeing no sign of him, ☁️ turned around and walked back out of the room. He slowly pulled the door, walking out with his back against the hallway and shutting it lightly.

“What are you doing?” Han asked with a bit of confusion. In the distance, ☁️ turned to see Han put a hand into his grey jeans, though his black shirt was barely visible due to the hallway’s dimness. Han raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

“Ah, I was looking for you. I wanted to check in with everyone before I left.”

“There is something I need you to check.. but most of the other staff left, and the members are sleeping. I don’t wanna make you stay later.”

“Oh, no, I honestly don’t mind. What is it that you need?” ☁️ watched as Han walked towards him, the idol then grabbing his hand as he walked past. Han placed the boy’s hand on his chest as the two sat on the idol’s bed. As the door slowly closed itself, ☁️ looked at the boy in confusion.

“I hurt myself today while filming. Do you remember when I.. you know..”

☁️ nodded and would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so flustered. That orange hue glistening across the side of Han’s face made it too easy to admire him.

“So.. would you mind getting rid of the knot in my chest?”

☁️ tilted his head in confusion. “I don’t think it’s possible to get a knot in your chest, Han. Are you sure it’s a knot..?”

Using his own hand, Han directed ☁️’s hand around his chest. The boy felt two large bumps, but he was sure it was just Han showing off his pec muscles. Remembering the incident from earlier, through, ☁️ thought about how hard Han had actually fallen.

“I’m sure, when I landed I hit my chest.. Please, it hurts, ☁️.” Han practically whined at this point, and it wasn’t like ☁️ didn’t believe him. He released his hand from Han’s grasp, thinking about the different medical products that he had in his bag. Pulling it off his shoulder, he dug his hand into the pocket to find the analgesic (pain relieving) cream.

“I have topical analgesic in my bag. Let me rub it on so the pain goes away.” ☁️ twisted his torso to face the rest of the bed, taking things out of the bag until he found the cream that he was looking for. ☁️ felt Han’s gaze as he took out a small tube.

“Anal- what?”

“What?” ☁️ stopped what he was doing to look over at Han, visibly baffled. The idol gave the boy next to him a suggestive smirk.

“You want it?”

“Han, what the hell are you talking about?”

“What do you mean?”

“Shut up and lay back.” ☁️ instructed as he took the tube from out of his bag. Han climbed onto the bed, him then taking his shirt off. The boy’s skin was smooth, but his body was much more toned than ☁️ thought. The orange lamp’s soft glow against the room’s dimness made Han’s abs seemingly pop out of his stomach. His pecs were noticeably large, too, with a noticeable bruise on the left muscle.

Shaking his head, ☁️ climbed onto the bed- only an inch or two next to Han. ☁️ sat on his knees as he spread the cream on his hands, and then across Han’s pec. Han couldn’t help but smile as he felt ☁️’s fingertips softly brush against his chest.

“Am I hurting you?” ☁️ asked as he continued to focus on the pec muscle.

“Nah, you’re making me feel really good.” Han said, placing a hand behind his head. After a minute, Han’s skin absorbed the cream and there was nothing else to rub in.

“All good?” ☁️ asked, him looking up from the bruise to the boy’s smiling face.

“I think something else hurts too, ☁️.”

“What hurts, Han?” ☁️ asked, rolling his eyes. He knew he was falling victim to the idol’s charm.

“Could you feel right here?” Han flexed his right arm and used his left hand to point at the muscle. ☁️ huffed, though he placed a leg over Han’s waist with a smile. He leaned over Han’s upper body while feeling the bicep.

“Feels normal, Han..”

“Oh.. How about you feel right there? That seems sore..” Han looked down at where ☁️ sat on top of him.

“Here?” ☁️ placed both of his hands over Han’s abs.

“Nahh, lower.”

☁️ moved his hands down to Han’s jean button. “Here?”

Han smirked and placed both hands behind his head. “Close enough.”

☁️’s body turned hot as he slowly unbuttoned Han’s jeans. With help, ☁️ pulled the boy’s jeans down and yanked them off, him throwing them aside. He took his own pants off, then climbed back on the bed to hover over Han.

“Does it hurt anywhere else?” ☁️ asked, placing a hand on each side of Han’s head. Han placed his hands on Car’s waist as the two locked eyes.

“How about I check you out, hm? I’ll make sure there aren’t any bruises that I need to take care of.” Han tugged at ☁️’s top, helping him take it off to expose more of his skin. Han felt up the boy’s torso carefully as ☁️ placed himself on Han’s waist again. The boy slowly rubbed against the bulge he sat on as Han looked at him expectantly.

“Maybe there’s one thing you can help me with.”

☁️ lifted his ass off of Han, twisting his head and torso to look behind him. He lifted his left ass cheek up with his hand, Han noticing and grinning. The idol licked his lips as he lifted his upper body from the bed. Grabbing both of ☁️’s asscheeks, he placed kisses along the boy’s neck and chest.

“If you bend over,.. then I’d really be able to help you.” Han whispered between kisses. With ☁️ already whimpering at the sensations, he immediately did as suggested. The boy lifted his legs over Han to turn his body around. After, ☁️ softly placed his head on the bed, him then raising his ass in front of Han.

The two now in their underwear, Han lifted his entire body to kneel behind ☁️. The idol pushed the erection in his boxers into ☁️’s ass, brushing against it slowly. He placed a hand on each side of the boy’s hips, vigorously gripping them. Too horny to think, ☁️ couldn’t help but whimper as he pushed his ass into Han’s erection.

“Is that where you want me to relieve your pain? Seems like it hurts pretty bad..” Han slipped his hands down into ☁️’s underwear, fondling his asscheeks.

“Just hurry up.” ☁️ muttered as he reached behind him, pulling his underpants down to his knees. He looked behind him as Han fumbled with a bottle of liquid and small square wrapper. Han rubbed the liquid on his fingers, then across ☁️’s asshole, it dripping down. ☁️ yelled out when Han shoved two of his fingers in directly after, slowly moving them back and forth.

“Ah- You couldn’t warn me?”

“You said to hurry.”

Han’s snarky response caused ☁️ to roll his eyes and rest his head on the bed again. He lightly moaned as Han continued to slowly finger him, though he quickly became impatient.

“Han, just put it in.” He mumbled, though Han grinned at the instruction.

“If you say so.”

Han pulled his fingers out of ☁️’s ass, and quickly yanked his underwear off. ☁️ turned his head to admire Han’s muscular body as it lined up behind him, the boy turning him on even more. ☁️ felt Han put the tip of his dick against his hole. Without warning, Han shoved his entire length into ☁️, causing the boy to cry out in pain. The idol leaned over the boy to cover his mouth. He rested his chest against ☁️’s back, placing his mouth beside the boy’s ear.

“Not so loud, I don’t wanna share that moan with the other members.”

“Why’d you shove it all in?” ☁️ whispered on the verge of tears.

“You asked.”

Han lifted his body off of ☁️’s back, his hands gripping the boy’s hips again. He pulled out slowly, moving his dick in and out so that ☁️ could get used to it. ☁️ continued to moan out as Han’s big dick stretched his hole with each stroke.

“Good?” Han placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Yea,” ☁️ responded, still whimpering.

Han pulled his dick almost all the way out, and paused. Wondering why he stopped, ☁️ felt another hand grab his shoulder. Just as the boy was about to turn around, Han thrusted his dick entirely into ☁️ again, making him yelp. He continuing fucking ☁️ quickly, causing the boy to release loud moans. Han covered his mouth with one of his hands, the sound of ☁️’s ass clapping against his hips making him go feral.

☁️’s legs spread apart as Han continued to thrust into him, with muffled whimpers filling the silence. Han finally began to slow down, him releasing his grasp on ☁️’s face. The two caught their breaths as ☁️ pushed Han’s dick out of him.

Han laid in front of ☁️ on the bed, wrapping an arm around the boy. “Did that help, or do I need to try something else?”

☁️ still catching his breath, he pulled Han’s face into his, the two locking lips. As they sloppily made out, Han lifted the boy up and off the bed. ☁️ wrapped his legs around the idol as they continued to stick their tongues into each other’s mouths.

Han walked to the other end of the bed, the two separating their faces as he placed ☁️ down in between the pillows. The idol climbed on top of him, the two rolling over so that Han now laid with his back on the bed. ☁️ sat on top of Han again, grabbing his dick and placing it in between his asscheeks. Han helped push down ☁️’s thighs as his dick went all the way inside of the boy.

☁️ moaned out loudly as he began riding the boy under him. He placed both of his hands on Han’s chest as he hopped up and down. Han smiled as he squeezed ☁️’s asscheeks in response, directing them up and down as he rode him.

After speeding up and slowing down, ☁️ leaned over to make out with Han. The idol moved his hands from the boy’s ass to his chin, holding his face as the two kissed.

☁️ lifted their faces apart, him then running a hand through Han’s hair. The idol pushed the boy closer to leave hickeys on his neck, him then kissing his collarbone.

As ☁️ leaned over Han, the idol thrusted his waist upward, shoving his big dick back into ☁️. Out of breath and a moaning mess, ☁️ placed his hands on each side of Han’s head and took the dick that Han was shoving inside of him. Han’s waist clapped against ☁️’s ass as he thrusted into him, each one becoming more aggressive and sloppier than the last. Han’s big dick and grin were making ☁️ leak despite him not stroking.

“It’s my turn to give you cream.” Han whispered hazily as he threw ☁️ off of his dick. ☁️ fell on his back, watching as Han climbed back on top of the him. The idol stroked his dick aggressively as he leaned over and shoved his tongue into ☁️’s mouth. ☁️ wrapped an arm around Han’s neck as the idol stroked his big dick, Han’s chest brushing against his. Using his free hand, ☁️ jacked his off too.

After a minute, Han’s muffled breath became whimpers, him throwing his head back as he came all over ☁️’s stomach. The idol stroked over ☁️ some more before collapsing on top of the boy. Han rested his chin in the boy’s shoulder, laying all of his weight on top of ☁️.

“Think that took care of those knots?” ☁️ asked as he stroked Han’s hair. The boy’s legs were spread apart as Han’s twitching dick rested in between them.

“Close enough,” Han muttered, his face pressed into the bedsheets. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

☁️ smiled at the comment and continued to play with the boy’s hair. “Don’t make these little injuries a habit.”

“Why not, don’t you like me, too?” Han questioned, his voice still muffled by the sheets.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Seemed you really liked helping me out with my bruise, either way.”

Han lifted his body off of ☁️, rolling over and dragging the boy with him. ☁️ was now laying on top of the idol, the two locking eyes.

“Maybe next time you can me out instead.”

“I see a bruise on your neck, so.. how about tomorrow?” Han smiled as he placed his hands on ☁️’s ass, fondling his cheeks. ☁️ smiled back bashfully, giving the boy a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Maybe.”

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

a/n: old draft, hope u enjoyed :) since u guys want part 2 of chan’s fic so badly i’ll start working on it ♡

[mollymargiela]

request: the guys find out that you think Andrew from the card shop is cute and try to set yall up

adapt = red

ron = blue

andrew = orange

reader = pink

warnings: none?

ever since ron and adapt found out you had a tiny—barely noticeable, in your words—crush on andrew, the quiet guy who worked at the local card shop, they hadn’t let it go. the second they pieced it together (mainly because you kept randomly asking when they were going back), it was over for you. now every time the topic of the card shop came up, they’d start smirking like idiots, exchanging side-eyes, and nudging you just to get a reaction.

“you coming with us today?” adapt would ask, already laughing as if he knew your answer.

“nah, i’m good,” you’d mumble, already anticipating the teasing that followed.

you knew the second you stepped foot in that shop, they’d try something. probably something dumb. they had that look in their eyes—the one they get before a prank or when they’re cooking up chaos. so you played it safe and stayed home. you weren’t about to let them embarrass you in front of andrew just because you thought his smile was cute.

you, ron, and adapt had made a pact earlier that week—today would be the last time you hit the card shop for a minute. with plans to move into the new house soon, all three of you figured it was time to chill on spending until after the move. but of course, y’all weren’t going out light. you each agreed to drop at least 5k on a mix of cards—pokemon, nba, mlb, maybe even ufc or wrestling if something caught your eye.

it was supposed to be a casual pull-up, just one final haul to hold you over until the next chapter. but deep down you knew it wasn’t just about the cards for the other two. ron had been bugging you since this morning with comments like, “i bet andrew gonna be real happy to see you today,” and adapt wouldn’t stop humming some fake love song every time your name and the card shop were mentioned in the same sentence.

you tried to play it cool, brushing them off like always, but even you couldn’t lie to yourself—you were kind of excited to see andrew again. especially since you hadn’t been there the last time they visited. they’d come back with stories of how he was “definitely single” and “maybe even into you,” based on nothing but vibes and their own twisted imaginations.

you just hoped today didn’t turn into some whole embarrassing scene. but knowing those two? it probably would.

as you all pulled into the parking lot, you were already regretting this. ron parked the car like he was about to rob the place—quick and crooked—while adapt turned in his seat, grinning like he was about to start a performance.

“yo, y/n,” adapt said, leaning forward with that same teasing tone, “you nervous? need a minute to fix your hair or sum before you see your man?”

you rolled your eyes, pulling down the visor to check your reflection anyway. “shut up. i don’t even know if he’s working today.”

“oh, he’s here,” ron chimed in. “i checked the shop’s story this morning. they posted a pic of him restocking sleeves. you’re cooked.”

you smacked his arm as you all got out of the car, your stomach flipping in both dread and anticipation.

walking into the shop, the familiar scent of cardboard and faint air freshener hit you. and there he was—behind the counter, in a fitted black hoodie with his sleeves pushed up, sorting through a box of graded cards.

“yo! what’s good, andrew?” ron said, walking up confidently like this was a casual stop and not a planned ambush.

andrew looked up and smiled. “hey, guys. welcome back. figured we’d see you again soon.”

adapt leaned on the counter casually, already glancing between you and andrew. “yeah, last trip for a while. trying to save up for some new stuff at the next place.”

you hung back a little, pretending to look at sealed packs while your face heated up. you could feel the way ron and adapt were setting something up, and you weren’t wrong.

“so andrew,” ron started, fake casual, “you ever bring girls around here or what? this place got romance vibes or nah?”

you froze mid-step and whipped your head around.

andrew looked up, confused but amused. “uh… i mean, not really? it’s mostly collectors and kids.”

“so you single?” adapt asked, plain as day.

you immediately turned your back to them. “i’m leaving. i’m walking out. right now.”

“nah nah nah,” ron laughed, grabbing your wrist, “don’t be shy now. we just tryna help.”

“i told y’all not to do this!” you hissed, barely able to stop yourself from laughing. “you’re actually insane.”

“we just want to know if our friend here is your type,” adapt said with a smirk, motioning between you and andrew.

andrew blinked, looking between you and the guys, then smiled a little, clearly trying not to laugh. “you mean her?”

you covered your face with your hands. “i hate you both so much.”

ron was dying laughing. “bro, she be asking all the time like, ‘when we going back to the card shop,’ and then acting clueless when we bring it up.”

you shot him a look, and he put his hands up in defense, still laughing.

andrew looked at you for a second, smile soft. “well… i’m not seeing anyone, if that’s what she’s fishing for.”

you wanted the floor to swallow you whole.

“cool,” adapt said, like he just closed a deal, “we’ll take six boxes of prism and a date for our friend here.”

you groaned. this was chaos—but somewhere under all the embarrassment, your heart was kind of racing in a good way.

you managed to dodge the rest of their chaos for about five minutes. five. because as soon as you slipped off toward the basketball cards, you heard ron go,

“so andrew, what kinda girls you usually go for anyway?”

you practically dropped the pack in your hand.

“ron, please,” you muttered, not even bothering to hide the look you threw him across the shop.

andrew, to his credit, took it all in stride. “i mean… i don’t really have a type. just someone chill, funny… into the same stuff, y’know?”

adapt popped his head out from behind one of the display shelves like a nosy little gremlin. “you into girls who collect cards too? maybe stream a little?”

“i swear to god i’m gonna leave,” you said under your breath.

“nah you won’t,” ron said casually. “you just pulled the best box from here 3 weeks ago. luck’s on your side.”

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. part of you hated the attention—but part of you was lowkey enjoying the way andrew kept sneaking glances your way whenever they teased you.

he came around the counter at one point, walking up behind you while you were looking through a bin of top loaders. “hey, sorry if they’re being annoying.”

you glanced up at him, still a little flustered. “you’re good. i should’ve known they’d pull something like this.”

he smiled, that kind of quiet, calm smile that made your chest tighten a little. “for what it’s worth… i don’t mind. it’s kinda flattering.”

before you could even react, ron yelled from across the shop. “Y/N! ANDREW TRYNA BAG. CONFIRMED.”

“ron—” you turned to glare at him, fully red in the face now.

“i hate you so bad,” you mumbled as andrew laughed quietly beside you.

adapt held up two booster boxes in each hand like trophies. “aight, so are we buying cards or planning weddings?”

“both,” ron said. “double sleeve the luka, double cuff the relationship.”

“bro,” you muttered, dragging your hands down your face.

you all ended up at the register eventually, arms full of boxes. andrew rang everything up like normal, but as he handed you your receipt, he slipped you a small sticky note with his number written in the corner.

“just in case you wanna come back without those two,” he said, eyes warm.

you smiled, tucking it into your hoodie sleeve.

“she’s giggling,” adapt said under his breath. “she’s in deep.”

“shut up.”

the whole car ride back was filled with them teasing you nonstop—talking about wedding playlists, what kind of cards you and andrew would collect together, and how they were officially calling themselves your wingmen of the year.

and you?

you just stared out the window, trying to hide your smile.

(not proofread!!)

this one was fun to make loll i loved it :33

[enkas-illusion]

One of Your Guys

One of Your Guys - Part 2/3

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Choso x f!reader

Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, smut (oral, f.receiving), language, hurt/comfort, angst (kinda?), friends to lovers

Chapter Summary: Sorting out your feelings always feels like a nightmare, but it becomes a lot more bearable when your flatmate plays cupid to help you with it.

Author’s Note: This is a long ass chapter lol, could’ve split it in two but I wanted to commit to the 3-part story thing. Enjoy!

(P.S. Will probably post Part 3 this Saturday... I had a lot of fun writing it, to say the least)

Song Dedication: Those Eyes by New West / Carry Me Home by Jorja Smith & Maverick Sabre

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“Fuck… yes, right there,” you moan as you look down between your thighs. Choso’s eyes look up at you as he eats you out with a steady pace – sucking and licking at your pussy just as you like it.

Your legs shake as you chant his name on repeat. Your hands roam down to tug at his jet black hair, your back arching off the bed. The wet sound of his mouth against your core has the adrenaline rushing to your head, keeping you from thinking straight.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, almost there. Just a little bit more.

“Satoru… I’m clos-'' your words get caught in your throat as you look down with a blurry vision. The man between your legs stills his movement and sits up to move away from you.

“Satoru?” Choso lets out a chuckle in disbelief, “Is that who you belong to?” 

You open your mouth to talk but it feels like you’ve lost your voice and no matter how hard you try to speak, you simply can’t. Panic sets in and as if on cue, an incessant buzzing sound rings in your ears from your bedside table. As soon as you turn to the side to shut it off, your hand accidentally hits the edge of the table. 

Ouch.

That’s how you wake up the next day, in cold sweat and even more delirious than the night before. What the fuck was that? It’s as if your own mind is out to get you.

So much for wanting emotional clarity in the morning.

You grab the bottle from the side table, taking big gulps of water, almost emptying the entire thing before returning it back to its place. You tap on your phone to check the time – 02:54 PM – you’d slept in all through the morning.

Leaving your bed lazily, you walk towards the window to open the curtains slowly and let the light in. You’re glad the sun isn’t too harsh even though it’s late into the afternoon. You stretch a bit to release the stiffness in your body and your stomach growls. You’d barely eaten since last night, so naturally, you find yourself craving enough food to feed 10 people.

Feelings can wait, you decide, food can’t.

Just as you begin your walk to the kitchen, your doorbell rings and you reroute your steps to get the door instead. Just as you reach the door, the bell rings again.

“Patience, jezz!” you groan as you open the door. Before you’ve even opened it halfway, your flatmate barges in with her travel bags, dropping them to the floor as she gives you a bear hug.

“Miss me? It’s okay mama’s hereee.” Mia says in a sing-song tone as she squeezes and shakes you in her arms. You want to tease her and say no but this feels so comforting that you simply laugh as you nod your head and hug her back.

When she pulls away from you and observes you as you close the door, she states, “Wow, you look like shit, what happened?”

“I missed you real bad.” you say dryly. She gives you a stare down and in an effort to change the topic, you add, “Weren’t you returning in the evening?”

She places her bags near the foot of the sofa and drops to the sofa with her whole body weight. She moves to make some space when you sit next to her.

“Evening… afternoon… same thing… besides I had t-,” she pauses midway as she stares at you with wide eyes and your eyebrows knit together in confusion. Your eyes widen back at her when you see she’s not exactly staring at your face.

“Hold on, what the fuck is that???” she half yells, pointing at your hickey in sync with you slapping both your hands to your neck in a poor attempt to cover the entire area. 

Right, the hickeys. You weren’t actively aware that other people could see them, partly because, well… even you hadn’t registered everything from the previous night into your brain in a sane, rational, comprehensible manner. 

“Don’t tell me… Satoru?” she gasps as she leans forward to pull your hand away to inspect the mark near your collarbone. “To be honest, I didn’t think you had it in you to confess-”

“No… it’s not Satoru…” you say as you avoid her gaze and almost mumble the next part, “...Choso did that.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?” her eyes widen again as she squeals. Disbelief and amusement written all over her face. “Details! I want DETAILS!”

You take a deep breath and sigh as you tell her to freshen up before you get into it all. She protests but gets up quickly when she realises you’d delay giving her the gossip even further if she persisted. 

When Mia almost runs back to her room with her bags, you stare at her as you let out a chuckle in disbelief. Well, at least someone’s entertained.

You go to the kitchen and grab two packs of instant noodles. As you set the water on the stove for boiling, you go back to your room to take a shower to shake off the lethargic feeling that had taken over your body.

You wrap up your routine quicker than usual, knowing Mia would grow impatient if she had to wait longer than necessary whenever it came to ‘juicy drama’. 

When you get out of the bathroom in your room, you look at your reflection in the mirror as your fingers roam over the marks Choso had left on your skin. You feel the heat rise to your cheeks when you recall the sensation of his lips on you and then you remember the dream from less than an hour ago. You let out a sigh – you’re screwed, and it’s not the good kind.

You touch the bruise just below your left ear and move a few strands of hair over it. Your hair might do a good job at covering it, you just have to be careful not to flip it… or tie it up… or move too fast and basically freeze in place and you’ll be good.

The other hickey is much more prominent. It sits just slightly above your right clavicle. When you brush your fingers over it, it feels sensitive. This is going to be a task to cover up. You sigh again – something you’ve been doing a lot since yesterday. 

For now, you decide a round neck t-shirt would be good enough as you rummage through your closet. You get dressed quickly and walk to the kitchen. By the time you’re done serving the hot noodles in two bowls, you hear Mia’s footsteps from behind.

“Need any help?” she asks as she enters the kitchen. “Yes, can you please grab our coffee?” you say and you tilt your head in the direction of the two mugs on the counter. She takes the mugs and walks out, you follow behind with the noodle bowls.

The minute you set everything on the coffee table in front of the sofa, your roomie turns you around. You realise trying to cover up the hickeys was a futile effort as Mia yanks the neckline down to observe the mark above your collarbone.

You scrunch your face as she squeals with a series of ‘Ohmygodddddd, I can’t believe this actually happened. I CALLED IT! I told you! I told you it was gonna happen!!!’

You’ve been hearing one too many ‘I told you so’s for the last two days and so far none of them have been pleasant. 

“You done or should I take a nap while you fangirl?” you joke dryly as she gives you a side-eye and punches your shoulder playfully.

“Okay, tell me everything. That’s a deep mark, I just know he’s a freak! What was his dick like? I’m sure it’s big… It’s always the quiet ones!” She speaks so fast that any normal person would miss half of what she’d just said.

“I don’t know… because we never got to that part.” you reply sternly. She frowns at you and stares at you in confusion, waiting for you to continue.

You tell her everything from the top – about seeing the snaps from the party, calling Choso over, him comforting you, the accidental make out and his confession after. She interrupts you several times to ask for details when she catches you skimming over some parts. 

Nothing can ever get past Mia so you realise you might as well ask for her expert opinion on all of this. You’d always trusted her opinion when it came to matters of the heart since she’s always drawing from her own experiences. Mia is the type of person who has superior insight and introspective ability that you only wish to develop some day.

As you both hungrily gobble down the noodles and coffee, you also tell her that ever since Choso pointed it out, you’ve suddenly been awfully aware about how Satoru knew you had a crush on him but never cared enough to confront you about it.

“... and so I can’t help but feel that the reason I never told him I had a crush on him is because deep down I might’ve been scared of getting rejected. Because, if he knows I like him, it means that he ignored my feelings and kept me on a hook on purpose…” you trail off towards the end of your monologue, still grappling with all your half-cooked emotions.

“Hmm,” Mia ponders over your words, taking a brief pause before speaking up, “Satoru does like attention so I won’t be surprised if he gave you just enough signals to keep the crush alive but not enough to give you a clear indication of anything stronger… still, I doubt that dummy had any ill intention, maybe he thought your crush was surface level and not some deep infatuation.”

“Well, now I’m not even sure if I like him.” you almost whisper, embarrassed to admit it out loud.

“You’ve been pining over him for about 6 months.” Mia narrows her eyes at you.

“I know… but I can’t explain it. Now that I know Satoru never really considered me as a potential partner, it’s sort of making me realise how delusional I've been. I hadn’t felt anything all these years of us being friends so why did I suddenly like him just months ago? I hate liking him… it’s so frustrating!” you wonder out loud, hoping she’d have some answers.

Instead, she asks you something that you honestly have no answer to, “How do you know when you actually like someone?”

“You find them attractive and like spending time with them?” you answer as you think of Satoru. She urges you to continue, not satisfied with the surface-level shit. You think harder and add, “When tiny things remind you of them? It’s like you can find traces of them in your everyday life, even when sometimes the situation might not be related to them.” 

You’ve been picking at your nails but stop the movement as soon as you notice it. Mia stays quiet as you look up at her to continue.

“Oh! And you want to know their likes and dislikes, but not just the basics. You want to know their thoughts on something you like as well and you want to share more of you with them and get to know them more than anyone ever has.” you smile as you finish your analysis. But your smile quickly fades when you realise that Satoru wasn’t the one on your mind when you spoke the last few sentences.

“Look at you gooo,” Mia whistles, causing you to roll your eyes at her. As if it’s an intuitive thing for her, she asks, “Who was on your mind just now?”

Not Satoru.

“No one.” you know it’s not the answer she wants to hear. She’s too optimistic to believe you’d be more open about your feelings, no matter how confusing they might be. 

“You know what they say, you can lie to everyone else but yourself… all I can tell you is that if you didn’t think of Satoru then our poor blondie was just a placeholder.” she begins but you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Placeholder?” you interrupt to ask.

“Yes. You know how we’re always taught a romanticised version of love? It’s like, somewhere along the way, we mistake craving for love itself with craving for a particular person. You want to feel the feeling of being in love but you can’t possibly do that if the feeling itself has no face to it. So when I call him a placeholder, it’s in the way you channel your delusions of love through him when you may not even have any romantic feelings for him to begin with!”

You process everything that she says and as much as you dislike the way it is making you feel, deep down you know that her theory might apply to you more than you’d like to admit. 

She speaks up again after a brief pause, “You liked the feeling of crushing on someone because it signified that the romantic space in your heart wasn't empty… and who else could possibly be a better placeholder than your closest friend, Satoru?”

You stay silent. You feel exposed. As if your emotions had been bared out in the open without your permission. The kind of emotions that are too rough to be brought to the surface. Emotions that only ever seem decent when you present a polished, snipped version of them to the outside world.

Mia is aware of this. She knows this all too well because she’d been in your position way too many times. She pulls you out of your thoughts as she speaks up again.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” she squeezes your hand gently. You give her a smile despite still feeling like you’re tripping over the heavy realisation you just had. “Let’s watch something?”

She turns the TV on and sees Bridgerton under your ‘Continue Watching’ tab and lets out a tiny giggle as she wiggles her eyebrows at you. You punch her arm lightly.

“Maybe you can text Choso about continuing the show... ‘Heyyy, do you want to come over and finish where we left off.’” she says, trying to mock you with a sexy voice and it makes you laugh.

Mia ends up picking a random 2000s romcom and you both doze off on the sofa by the time the credits roll. When you wake up, it’s already quite late, so you order some food and call it a night when you’re done with dinner.

—

The whole week passes by quicker than expected since you were mostly busy with work during the day and busy pondering over what the recent reversal of your crush on Satoru means moving forward.

By the time Saturday arrives, you feel as if you have sorted out your feelings in the best way you possibly could. There was nothing to fix when it came to Satoru since you’d stopped feeling miserable over him. In your mind, he’d already gone back to being your close friend but at the same time, you were awfully aware that the only thing you really missed about crushing on him was the placeholder phenomenon Mia had described so well.

As for Choso, it was a whole different thing. You completely ignored any thoughts about him that arose in your mind for about 3 days after the kiss. Afterall, you’d accused him of thinking with his dick that night, it’d be hypocritical if you felt attracted to him just because you made out.

So after not texting him for a week, here you were, contemplating texting him as you sat in the living room. He hadn’t texted you all week either, you debate to yourself. 

Well, can you blame him? 

You take a deep breath as you text him, asking him if he had time for hot chocolate. He replies with a simple ‘yes’ after what feels like forever (15 minutes later).

Not wanting to bother him with the task when he arrives, you prepare two cups of hot chocolate and keep them at their place on the coffee table as you wait for your doorbell to ring eagerly.

You almost sprint to the door when the bell rings five minutes later. You rub your sweaty hands on the fabric of your t-shirt before opening the door with a wide smile. He returns your smile as he walks in and past you to sit on the sofa.

No hugs. Okay.

You notice his hair is pulled up in a sweaty bun with his gym bag placed near his feet.

“You were at the gym?” you inquire.

“Hmm. Texted you when I was wrapping it up.” he replies as he takes one of the cups. You sit next to him and grab the other one.

You’re almost offended at him going to the gym alone. For about 4 months now, you’d been going together on the weekends since your weekday schedules don’t align well enough to make it to the gym at the same time. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” you ask, your voice sounds dejected although you’d tried masking it well. 

“Figured you’d want some space.” he replies curtly. You want to yell at him to stop being so formal. You miss your Choso.

“Choso,” you sigh as you look at him, waiting for him to meet your gaze. When he does, you speak again, “A lot happened and I needed time to process it all. You were right about it all, about Satoru ignoring me and me doing the same to you. I’m so sorry that I made you feel as if you were only an emotional support friend. I wish I could show you how much you mean to me.”

You notice the stiffness in his shoulders ease a bit at your words. Taking it as a positive sign you continue, “I won’t lie, but I haven’t really seen you in a romantic light since I’ve been blindly crushing over Satoru… not to say that I don’t find you attractive! You’re hot- but that’s besides the point… the point is, can we be friends first? I’d really like to know you for who you are, without all of our talks being overshadowed by me ranting about some stupid crush.”

You almost believe your words did more damage than good before you see a smile break on Choso’s otherwise resting face. You smile back at him.

It’s his turn to speak now, “I think I can handle that… but I believe you’re being too harsh on yourself. While your crush has been a constant topic of conversation, you’ve been a good friend regardless. You have been there for me whenever I needed a friend to talk to and you always listen to me rant about work or whatever just as much.”

You nod at him to continue.

“I’d say we already know each other pretty well. But of course, I'll always want to know more about you… what can I say? You’ve piqued my interest and it’s been hard to let go since.” he pinches your cheek as you feel a blush creep up your face.

You push his hand away but it’s only to get closer to hug him. He wraps his arms around your waist, completely enveloping you into his space, but it's far from invasive – it’s more welcoming than ever. You bury your face into his neck, breathing in the soothing scent of oud and jasmine, mixed with a tiny hint of sweat.

“So, how are things on the Satoru front? You’re almost making it sound as if you’ve lost interest.” he jokes when you pull away, secretly hoping his intuition is right.

You briefly tell him about your talk with Mia, leaving out the part where you’d told your roomie all about the makeout sesh. He raises an eyebrow at the placeholder theory but simply nods as he thinks it over in his head.

“So you really are over him?” He asks once again. Even if he intends to seek reassurance, you can’t tell by the way his tone is almost indifferent. 

You joke about his crush on you being a similar type of thing and you bet him that he’ll soon realise he doesn’t like you like he thought he did.

“You’re a lot more than a placeholder to me, baby.” he pouts at you before swiftly getting up to take the empty cups back to the kitchen, not giving you time to react. You watch his back, baffled at how daring and straightforward Choso can get sometimes.

He returns at the same time Mia comes out of her room, yawning as she covers her mouth.

“Hey Choso, how are you?” she smiles slyly at him. There’s a sudden shift in his body language and you realise Mia’s presence has suddenly made him nervous. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 

He’s aware you’ve told her about him.

And based on how well he knows you, he’s certain you’ve given Mia an unabridged version of the events of last Saturday. He greets her back with an awkward ‘sup’ and you can’t help but think of it as a boyfriend-meets-parents type of situation.

Your amusement is visible on your face and Mia catches onto it. What she says next surprises you.

“Good thing you’re here. I was just inviting people over for my birthday weekend next weekend.” she smiles at him.

“Birthday weekend?” Choso asks.

“Yup, so each year, the people whose birthdays lie on and/or closest to the weekend, they get a whole weekend where they’re the boss and everyone else in the group has to strictly follow whatever they’ve planned for the whole group.” she explains.

Choso looks at you, already loving being invited to something like this. “But don’t get your hopes up too high! Mia is a homebody so we’re all probably going to be trapped at home baking stuff or something like that.” you add, nonetheless, his excitement doesn’t fade. 

He tells Mia he’ll be looking forward to it and hugs you both like he’s about to leave. This time you ask him to stay to finish the last 2 episodes of Bridgerton. He thinks it over hesitantly but agrees. The only difference this time is that Mia has joined you on the sofa. You don’t complain though, since the last thing you needed right now was to be left alone with Choso while watching steamy sex scenes from the final episodes.

When Choso eventually leaves, you express your surprise to Mia at her inviting him for the birthday weekend, which almost always, only involves your tiny group consisting of Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, Kento, Mia and you.

“Think of it as me playing cupid babe”, she pouts as she makes kissing sounds at you and you palm her face to push her away. She giggles, “My plan is to keep everyone trapped in the house for two whole days, it’ll be so boring, it’ll ironically be so much fun. And you get to spend all your time with your loverboy.”

“He’s not my loverboy,” you protest.

“Oh yeah? Say that to his cute ass puppy eyes that always fixate on you whenever he hears you laugh. He’s so gone for you, it’s almost sickening to watch, being a third wheel.”

“Give it a rest… dear lord!” you say but you can’t help but feel another blush forming on your cheeks due to her constant teasing.

You were trying your best not to like Choso romantically, you wanted to give it time to make sure you weren’t liking him as just another placeholder.

—

The next week passes by just as quickly. The only difference is that this time you constantly find yourself taking tiny breaks from work to text Choso. You feel great relief when he texts you back with the same enthusiasm… or maybe he’s always been that way and you’re the one who’s just now noticing it.

Mia had explained her plan for the birthday weekend on your friends’ group chat. The plan was for everyone to gather at your place on Friday evening, along with whatever essentials they needed to hibernate for the next two days. You call it hibernate because Mia’s one rule for the weekend was that nobody would step outside the apartment at any cost, unless someone had an emergency only as grave as a heart attack.

Psychopath would be a harsh word, but, hypothetically speaking, if Mia were given a chance to take part in one of those human psychological experiments, she'd do it happily while dragging the rest of the group with her.

However, on the upside, Mia was a gamer girl through and through. It was kind of perfect because you, on the other hand, were a card game expert of sorts. It was a simple plan really –  games, drinks, movies – yet if you were to ask Satoru and Shoko’s opinion on the matter, they’d protest by saying something along the lines of a party isn’t a party unless you bar-hop while getting shitfaced drunk at 3am.

On Friday evening, as soon as you return from work, you and Mia clean the apartment for your friends’ welcome. You arrange the card games and snacks on the table before freshening up.

You’d informed Choso about the plan as well and he’d texted you half an hour ago that he’d be there in 30 minutes. You run to your room to check your outfit in the mirror once again. You straighten out the fabric of your skorts and pull at the hem of your sweatshirt. 

Casual but cute — you did not want to make it seem as if you dressed up to stay at home but you figured you could at least look a bit presentable. You touch up your lipgloss and convince yourself it’s strictly to protect your lips from cracking due to the cold.

When the bell rings, you feel as if the inside of your stomach does a backflip. You hurriedly walk out of your room and see Mia at the door, welcoming Choso in. He’s wearing a vivid indigo blue sweater with black sweatpants. The feeling in your stomach returns when you observe his soft hair pushed back and tucked behind his ears with a few tiny strands kissing his forehead.

He gives her a side hug as he hands her a long black box wrapped with a golden ribbon. You walk towards them and you swear you see his smile grow when he looks at you. He puts his hand out to you and you grab it. With a smooth movement, he pulls you to him while his other arm wraps around your shoulder. The hug is brief yet it makes you feel giddy.

Shit. Staying platonic with him is going to be one hell of a task.

“...hope it won’t be awkward for your other friends.” your thought breaks when you hear him talk to Mia. 

“No, not at all! Don’t worry, they’re all pretty chill!” Mia reassures him. Choso has met your group a handful of times so they are, what one would consider, mutuals, but he’s only friends with you and Mia in the real sense of the word.

“What did you get?” you ask him, looking at the wrapped box in Mia’s hands. He gestures for her to open it. Her smile grows as she pulls out the big bottle of scotch, waving it around in excitement.

“Thank you for aiding my borderline alcoholism with my drink of choice.” she jokes as she bows at him.

“Always glad to help.” he laughs as he bows his head to mimic her. You smile to yourself, happy that he’s so attentive and considerate of everyone close to him. “By the way, where do I keep my bag?” he asks, sliding his backpack off his shoulder.

“You can keep it in my room… everyone is probably going to dump everything there since Mia’s room has their precious xbox setup.” you say as he smiles and makes his way to your room. Mia goes to the kitchen to keep the bottle somewhere it’s safe and sound.

When Choso returns, he observes the decks of multiple card games, arranged on the table. There’s Dobble, Monopoly Deal, UNO, and chess as well. You had to restrain yourself from bringing out all the other games you had since you did not want to overwhelm your friends with too many options.

“Which one is your favourite?” he asks.

“Kamo… would you pick favourites if you ever had kids?” you retort.

“Yes.” he says with a straight face, “now, answer me.” His tone makes you snort but you grab the tin with the Dobble cards as you explain how it works. Mia returns from the kitchen and you offer her to join your game but she makes up some excuse to go back to her room, leaving you alone with Choso. You have a feeling she’s going to try to manufacture such moments for the two of you throughout the whole weekend.

You have three clean wins before Choso starts getting frustrated at his loss. “How on earth can you spot them so quickly!?”

You shrug, smug about your wins. When you draw the next hand, the bell rings and you turn your head to look towards the door. Mia comes out to get it and you hear Choso yell, “GOT IT!” causing you to turn back to the cards.

“Hey! It doesn’t count, I wasn’t paying attention.” you complain.

“Not my fault. We’d drawn the cards already.” he says, grinning with a pleased look on his face. You know he's not going to concede so you let it go.

“I wasn’t aware we were allowed to bring plus one this time?” you hear Satoru’s voice behind you. You turn around to roll your eyes at him. He’s leaning down to your side with a wide grin and his arms extended. You hook your arm around his waist to give him a side hug.

“I invited him, he’s replacing you since you’re so busy nowadays.” Mia speaks up and you press your lips to keep yourself from laughing. He presses his hands to his chest dramatically as if Mia’s words have physically wounded him.

You crinkle your nose to cringe at him and you sense Choso looking at you. But as soon as you look back at him, he turns his head down as he grabs all the cards to put them back in the tin.

“Quitting already?” you tease him. He looks up at you and smirks, “No, there’s enough people to play Monopoly now. You just wait and watch how I smoke you.”

“What makes you so sure? You don’t know who you’re up against.” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Hmmm… wanna bet?” He challenges you. 

You smile cockily, “Deal, what’s at stake?”

“Oh, nothing too bold… maybe just your heart and soul.” he teases you. You bite the insides of your cheeks to keep yourself from blushing at his comment and break eye contact to lean towards the table to grab the deck of Monopoly Deal.

You fail to notice that Satoru had already started drawing conclusions based on the tiny interaction he witnessed between you and Choso. As he walks to the kitchen with Mia, he half whispers, “Is it just me o-”

“Nope. you’re seeing it right.” she interrupts him.

“Since when did Choso, of all people, get so close with her?” he inquires.

“Haha, blondie… you have no idea!” Mia chuckles, amused. “Why? You jealous?” 

He snickers at her question, “No.”

“Good.”

The conversation ends there and he knows better than to push it further. As the duo returns, carrying four glasses of homemade lemonade mixed with vodka, you jump up to walk towards them to grab two of them and hand one to Choso. He thanks you with a smile and you return it.

When Mia suggests it, you all sit on the floor around the table comfortably as you distribute the cards for everyone.

When you win the first game of Monopoly, you stick your tongue out at Choso. He didn’t seem to mind losing at all, nonetheless, he feigned hurt, “Damn, do I really need to give you my heart and soul now?”

With the alcohol getting to you, you felt brave enough to flirt with him as you replied back in an instant, “I thought you’d already given your heart to me?”

His eyebrows raise up in surprise as he lets out a chuckle. He drags your name out as he speaks, “You know I consider myself to be a romantic of sorts, but that’s too cheesy even for me!” you slap his arm as both of you start laughing as if it’s the funniest thing ever, almost forgetting that Mia and Satoru are right there in the room with you two.

You only turn to look at Satoru when he clears his throat. “Oh right… When is the rest of the gang getting here?” you ask Satoru.

“Check the group chat, they’ve texted.” he replies curtly. And you can’t help but feel as if he’s acting a bit cold. Usually you’d brush it off as just overthinking, or blame it on the alcohol but you’re certain that throughout the game, he has been actively ignoring you.

The awkwardness of the situation dissipates a little when Shoko, Kento and Suguru arrive about an hour later. When the clock strikes midnight, everyone hands Mia their presents but everyone is too drunk to care what the others have gotten her.

You’d be lying if you said you remembered anything about the events of Friday night through Sunday morning. The photos and videos on your phones are the only evidence you have of a time well spent. There was a lot of gossip, cheating at card games, fighting for turns on the Xbox, laughing at shit jokes, crying at sappy hallmark movies and an incident where you and Mia almost set the kitchen on fire, trying to bake a batch of brownies for everyone. You were barred from entering the kitchen all day after that and it was followed by a long debate about how it was against your rights as owners to be banned from your own kitchen. You gave up on trying to forcefully enter the kitchen after a while, since five people against two wasn’t really a fair battle.

So Sunday morning, it was a collective decision to stay sober to avoid being hungover at work the next day. Not like you guys had a choice anyway, since all the booze had been wiped out in the last 36 hours, not even Choso’s fancy scotch had survived the night. It was all a haze, to say the least.

Although you vaguely remember Choso and you sharing a few moments alone from time to time, you also remember all of them being interrupted, mostly by Satoru. You make a mental note of wanting to confront Satoru sometime soon.

Sometime soon arrives Sunday evening when Satoru walks in on you and Choso making hot chocolate in the kitchen. You’d been talking to Choso about who had the highest tolerance among the group.

You’re pressed to his side with your head resting on his shoulder as he leans against the counter. “...far from it. You’re a lightweight!” Choso calls your bullshit.

“No, listen… I vibe easily, I don’t get drunk easily. There’s a difference.” you protest.

He pinches your cheek, teasing, “okay baby… whatever you say.”

You try to elbow him but stop your movement when you hear Satoru enter the kitchen, “Are you making hot chocolate?”

You’re slightly annoyed at his feigned innocence since you’d already asked the entire group if they wanted hot chocolate, like, 5 minutes ago. He had declined then.

“Cool, can I get one too?” he asks.

“Sure.” you leave Choso’s side as you grab another mug to prepare the drink. 

Sensing the tension, Choso excuses himself politely, “I’m outside, okay?” he squeezes your shoulder before walking out of the kitchen.

“You seem pretty close.” Satoru comments. You put the mug in the oven before you turn around to look at him.

“Satoru… what is it?” you sigh.

“Nothing… I’m just surprised you got over me so quickly.” he says playfully.

Oh, so you’re having this conversation right now.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now? What do you mean moved on? What was there to move on from… you ignoring my feelings and only keeping me on the hook whenever you wanted attention?” you sound far from playful.

“Ouch.” he says quietly. Maybe talking to you about this was a bad idea.

“Look… I’m sorry if me having a crush on you made you uncomfortable. I’d hate for things to be awkward now after being such close friends all these years. But I’m sad that you sort of led me on and toyed with my emotions for your own amusement.” you add as you look down.

There’s a moment of silence. Then Satoru moves towards you to hug you. He pats your head with one hand while the other rubs your back.

“I had no idea that having a crush on me made you so miserable. We’ve always been flirting with each other platonically, I initially thought it was the same thing. When I realised you were serious about it, I figured that maybe it would fade without us needing to address it.” he says softly.

“No, to be honest, I realised quite recently that I don’t really like you like that.” you interrupt him.

“Yeah, no shit. You’ve been flirting with him all weekend.” he laughs. You blush out of embarrassment. 

He continues, “But that’s besides the point. I’m sorry, okay? I’ve designated you as my best frien– don’t tell Suguru. I admit I did like the attention so I'm sorry for hurting you, even if it might’ve been unintentional for the most part. ”

You look up at him as you raise your eyebrows at him. Satoru isn’t the kind to apologise easily.

“Gojo Satoru is apologising to me?” you smirk at him.

“Don’t milk it. You know I really mean it, I'm truly sorry. I can also allow you one punch anywhere besides my face and crotch to prove it. I’ll always love you, you’re my homie.” he says pulling you closer into the hug. You wrap your arms around him, smacking the area near his lower back a bit too hard. You catch him by surprise as he jerks away from your touch, letting out a loud ‘ahh’.

“Jeez, what a b–,” he pauses, clearing his throat as he extends his arm out to you, “We’re even now, cool?” 

“Okay, cool.” you smile at him. “So, how’s it going with your new girl?”

“Oh it’s pretty chill. Nothing serious though. We like each other but we both agreed that it’s pretty casual.” he explains.

“Really? I was under the impression that you were falling in love and shit.” 

“How can I love someone else when I got you?” he teases as he ruffles your hair. You glare at him with a murderous intent. 

“I’m kidding!” he adds, laughing, “But no, I’m not falling in love so soon. I always thought I’d fall in love in my mid 30s. Seems like the perfect age to fall in love.” 

You shake your head, “Satoru, you dummy… love doesn’t work on your schedule. It happens when it is meant to happen! If you don’t go all the way in, deep in your feels with someone, you won’t even recognize it if love arrives in your life.”

“Okay sensei… seems like you know a lot about going all the way in deep. Is Choso also going in deep?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You cringe at his crass innuendo but nonetheless blush at the mention of Choso’s name.

“Maybe it's none of your business!” you retort. He shrugs as he puts his hands up in defeat.

“Come out soon, we’re gonna watch another romcom.” he says as he walks past you.

“Wait, your hot chocolate?” you ask as you see him walking out of the kitchen.

“Nah, on second thought, I don’t want it anymore.” he says as he leaves. You stand there as you watch him go, with equal parts amusement and equal parts disbelief.

This is the Satoru you knew, your annoying best friend and not the romanticised version of him you had in your head. You feel peaceful for a split second as you finally sense things return back to normal, before your mind wanders to thoughts of Choso. 

Can you redirect your love where it can actually be reciprocated? You’re aware that you’d been growing fond of him with every minute you spend together… but are you certain he’s not just someone you’re using to fill the vacancy in your heart?

~~~

taglist: @lik0 @hueanhdang @dellalyra @personomy

[just-a-carrot]

arc 3 is my absolutely favorite hands DOWN. I relate to orlam severely in his trauma, his extremely obvious hypersexuality, and especially the way he was treated by his “friends” until the end of arc 5 and the timeline reset.

(btw I want to clarify that this is NOT meant to be a trauma dump by any means. this chapter just affected me a lot and I wanted to give the reasons why without going into too much detail on my end but also giving it the praise it deserves by handling topics I very much relate to)

there were already signs already littered throughout arcs 1 and 2 that stung to me when it came to orlam that I could really relate to. and it was really goddamn hard for me watching orlam go through this constant abuse as somehow who was treated exactly like him growing up. It felt like I was watching myself all over again and chapter 3 solidified it

for once he was actually being treated NICELY by SOMEONE, even for an arc. dude like the whole orlam being thrown off and even deterred a tad by iggy SIMPLY CHECKING TO SEE IF HE IS OKAY bc orlam just isn’t USED to that and god that resonated with me hard. don’t even get me started on the bathroom scene. christ. it was so incredibly hard to get through but in the “I am being so severely called out rn” way, not the “this arc is garbage” way

the iggy’s room scene and the prom scenes are what genuinely kinda make me crack??????????? god. I had to pause when orlam said his terrified little “daddy?” bc I had to shut my laptop and just. SIT there and try not to cry. it shook me so hard and I’m genuinely glad it did bc of how seen I felt. the after prom scene made me weep genuine tears. abandonment trauma is so extremely personal to me and seeing orlam not even an adult yet break down bc everyone in his life keeps leaving him, and GOD how he’s just been treated like shit the ENTIRE TIME except by iggy in this ONE SPECIFIC CHAPTER

(dawg don’t even get me STARTED on the classroom prom photo and how I felt about that a couple arcs later dude I was SOBBING)

LIKE DAWG I WAS CHEERING WHEN IGGY STOOD UP FOR ORLAM ON THE BOAT EVEN IF IT WAS JUST FOR THAT CHAPTER I WAS JUST SO SICK OF ORLAM BEING DOGGED ON ALL THE TIME 😭😭😭

this arc is my favorite arc, but also the hardest arc for me to play due to how much orlam resonates with me as a character

he is probably the character I am the most happy got their good ending, and I’m not just saying that as an orlam fan, but as a victim of the same types of abuse he /constantly/ suffered. I’m glad he’s loved by his pals post-timeline reset and that him and genzou’s beef is WAY less terrible than it was post-reset.

the way you handled abandonment trauma and truly What It Does To A Mfer was extremely accurate and done extremely well to me. you handled what it’s like to be the punching bag friend EXTREMELY well and what constant abuse and harassment does to someone mentally AND socially. like orlam didn’t have anyone else to turn to, he had these 4 people who took all their shit out on him and that’s IT. of COURSE he was going to develop an attachment to genzou like that when they had their situationship, that was probably the most affection(?) he’s gotten……EVER??????????????????? and then to have that be INSTANTLY taken from him bc of genzou’s inability to accept his sexuality issssssss OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

the torture scene with orlam’s heart in arc 5 got me too that shit was done so well BUT THIS IS ABOUT ARC 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but yeah. best arc is definitely 5 but arc 3 will always be my favorite bc it focuses on a character I heavily relate to, the topics in it are handled extremely well, and it’s the arc that hit the hardest for me

well done gang 🔥🔥🔥

ahhhhhhhh ;-;

i feel like nothing i can do to write in response to this would come close to adequately acknowledging everything in here properly...

but i'm really happy you wrote this and i'm really touched and my heart got very soft and teary-eyed and mushy...

so i just wanted to thank you and somehow try to say again how honored i am that you could feel these things about my game and and all the incredibly kind things you've said about it...

so thank you truly 💕

it means so much that you would write all of this up, even what i'm sure are very hard things to write

i feel really blessed and touched ;-; 💕

also to everyone else that has ever felt strongly connected to or can relate to or feel seen with any part of my game

i'm really glad

so many of my own experiences are in this game as well

being able to see yourself or at least parts of yourself in both the things you experience or the things you create is so important...

[they-lived]

20 questions for writers

@theblueeyedfirebender THANKS FOR THE TAG FRIEND I LOVE YOU LOTS 💙💛💙💛💙💛

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41! (And an additional 37 on ffn 🤪 for a total of 78 just cause I was curious what 11 years of a hobby produces)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

782,267… holy crap 😅

3. What fandoms do you write for?

On my page you’ll find fics for Dragon Age (2 fics), Resident Evil (3 fics), Baldur’s Gate (2 fics), Until Dawn (2 fics), Critical Role (1 fic), Fullmetal Alchemist (6 fics), and Yuri on Ice (25 fics)!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bloom in the Dark (Yuri on Ice)

Сонечко - Sunshine (Yuri on Ice)

What I Wouldn’t Do (Yuri on Ice)

Truth (Yuri on Ice)

Four Hidden Talents of Yuri P (And His Hidden Achilles Heel) (Yuri on Ice)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to not respond because on ffn you pretty much had to dm people to do so which felt weird (especially because I was 11-17 on there and did not want anyone knowing that fact even tho it was pretty obvious in hindsight) but now I respond to almost every comment I get! Fandom is a shared experience and I want to communicate more!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lessons I Learned From Loving You Alone (Dragon Age) ~ Loghain’s wife had a really tragic life in my brain and I leaned in HARD

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I almost always do angst with a happy ending but I think the happiest is a toss up between Сонечко or As The World Begins to End (which is my resident evil meets pride prejudice and zombies mash up)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn’t call it hate necessarily but weirdly I get a lot of discourse around Yuri P being Ukrainian but like… I have always written him this way and I always will lol. It’s a part of my brand at this point. For the most part they’re pretty tame comments tho

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! Most of the time I use sex as a way for characters to express their indescribable inexplicable connection or just to explore a couple in their most intimate moments. I love smut with funnies too so I try to throw that in there… also yes I do write porn without plot just because I want to lol.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really. Closest I got to was As the World Begins to End, which is Resident Evil in a similar world as Pride Prejudice and Zombies, but the zombies and lore were still RE based. It was more inspired by than anything else.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Back in the day someone wrote a fic “based on” one of mine but they just changed the names and nothing else. I still laugh about it because like… what an odd thing to do.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup! Into Portuguese, Japanese, and Russian! It was very cool and they were so nice!!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope but I’d be down!

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

Don’t ask me that my stomach hurts (it’s probably Everlark or Jasper or Otayuri or Royai don’t make me choose~)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never say never but golly it’s been hard to keep writing I Will Carry You idk why I really lost steam on it. I also have a fic I’m literally 25 pages deep into that was supposed to be a bit fic that I have not posted but WANT TO FINISH SO BAD

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m super good at eliciting the specific niche emotion I’m looking to express and hitting the exact topic I want to address. When I want something to be heightened and funny I nail it, when I want something to be bone deep nostalgia I’ve got it. That part is really fun for me personally.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I. Hate. Describing. Scenes. And. Action! My theater of the mind is pretty garbage so when I have to exposit what something looks like I cannot for the life of me enjoy it. My brain shuts off and on autopilot I go.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Even though I am bilingual I still get nervous doing this. Mostly because I’m smol and embarrassed but also because I really have to decide what the purpose is. I love having multilingual characters I grew up on the border between the us and Mexico and I have constantly been surrounded by multilingualism and generally think it’s dope. But I prefer to write the dialog in italics if it’s in another language so my audience can immediately understand what’s going on and have the full picture. If I don’t want them to know what’s being said I simply gloss over it lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

*Glances wearily at my self insert Harry Potter fic I wrote when I was 12 and had the audacity to post on ffn* … uh… Hunger Games

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Changes by the day honestly but the top 5 are as follows in no particular order:

- As the World Begins to End (p&p will ALWAYS take me out you guys)

- Сонечко (the way I trauma dumped in this one is still so raw and so relevant. The fact that family and love really does win OUCH)

- An Ode to the Daughters of Darkness (first and only attempt at a more poetic style and some of it really holds up)

- Idioms and Idiots (idk I feel like I could turn this into a whole novel it’s wholesome and funny I smile the whole time I’m reading it I love her)

- Long May You Reign (I have reread this bitch so many times since she’s been posted I love the chaos the funnies and the feels. Idk man I just have an insatiable craving for Royai to be parents and this makes me laugh while writing it)

Tagging @masterdisastre @lou-is-lurking @kaleidodreams @weeheilandcoo and anyone else who wants to ✨✨✨✨

[marie-is-seein-stars]

KING OF WRATH (part 3)

Content Warning: This story contains explicit sexual content, profanity, mild violence, and topics that may be sensitive to some readers.

Rating:18+

Minors, please do not interact with this post, as I DO NOT want it to get taken down.

“You look like you could use the pick-me-up.” He responded with a questioning arch of his brow. “You’re off schedule,” I explained. “You’d never go off schedule unless something’s wrong.” The arch smoothed, replaced with a tiny crinkle at the corners of his eyes. My heartbeat faltered at the unexpectedly endearing sight. It’s just a smile. Get it together. “I wasn’t aware you paid so much attention to my schedule.” Flecks of laughter glimmered beneath Chris’s voice. Heat flooded my cheeks for the second time that night. This is what I get for being a Good Samaritan. “I don’t make a point of it,” I said defensively. “You’ve been coming to the bar every week since I started working here, but you’ve never showed up on a Monday. I’m simply observant.” I should’ve stopped there, but my mouth ran off before my brain could catch up. “Rest assured, you’re not my type, so you don’t have to worry about me hitting on you.” That much was true. Objectively, I recognized Chan’s appeal, but I liked my men rougher around the edges. He was as straitlaced as they came. Even if he wasn’t, fraternization between club members and employees was strictly forbidden, and I had no desire to upend my life over a man again, thank you very much. That didn’t stop my traitorous hormones from sighing every time they saw him. It was annoying as hell. “Good to know.” The flecks of laughter shone brighter as he brought the glass to his lips. “Thank you. I have a soft spot for strawberry gin and tonics.” This time, my heartbeat didn’t so much falter as stop altogether, if only for a split second. Soft spot? What does that mean? It means nothing, a voice grumbled in the back of my head. He’s talking about the drink, not you. Besides, he’s not your type. Remember? Oh, shut up, Debbie Downer. Great. Now my inner voices were arguing with each other. I didn’t even know I had more than one inner voice. 

If that wasn’t a sign I needed sleep and not another night agonizing over my manuscript, nothing was. “You’re welcome,” I said, a tad belatedly. My pulse drummed in my ears. “Well, I should—” “Sorry I’m late.” A tall, blond man swept into the seat next to Kai’s, his voice as brisk as the late September chill clinging to his coat. “My meeting ran over.” He spared me a brief glance before turning back to Chris. Dark gold hair, navy eyes, the bone structure of a Calvin Klein model, and the warmth of the iceberg from Titanic.Hwang Hyunjin, the reigning king of Versace. I recognized him on sight. It was hard to forget that face, even if his social skills could use improvement. Relief and an annoying niggle of disappointment swept through me at the interruption, but I didn’t wait for Christopher’s response. I booked it to the other side of the bar, hating the way his soft spot comment lingered like it was anything but a throwaway remark. If he wasn’t my type, I definitely wasn’t his. He dated the kind of woman who sat on charity boards, summered in the Hamptons, and matched their pearls to their Chanel suits. There was nothing wrong with any of those things, but they weren’t me. I blamed my outsize reaction to his words on my self-imposed dry spell. I was so starved for touch and affection I’d probably get giddy off a wink from that cat that walks on Han River. It had nothing to do with Christopher himself. I didn’t return to his side of the bar again for the rest of the night. Luckily, working a half shift meant I could clock out early. At five to ten, I transferred my remaining tabs to Mary, said my goodbyes, and grabbed my bag from the back room, all without looking at a certain billionaire with a penchant for Hemingway.

[echoing--stars]

Hi worm,

For prompts, maybe everyone comparing their swords? Wind comparing his old master sword and his phantom sword and what it could do, everyone comparing the master sword except four and Hyrule, legend saying how he tempered it to make it stronger, Wild saying how he’s afraid to break it when he uses it. Because yes sky, he has broken the master sword.

I couldn't fit all of them into one snippet, but this was an interesting concept to explore! I decided to focus mostly on Sky and his thoughts on the sword once he realizes that Legend still carries his world's version of the Master Sword. Hope you enjoy!

(If you read this and would like to request a short snippet, see this post!)

When Sky picked up Legend's sword from where he'd dropped it after being knocked down in battle, he hadn't expected it to feel so… familiar. He could sense the comforting presence of his friend and companion Fin residing within the blade. Her spirit, while faint, was still there.  Sky held onto the blade a few moments longer than was probably strictly necessary. He shut his eyes, as if he could hear Fi better that way. But aside from the warmth of the blade, there was no sign that the spirit in Legend’s sword knew he was there. Sky sighed and walked the rest of the way to where Legend was sitting up, one arm wrapped tightly around his torso. There was an empty potion bottle in his other hand, and Warriors was kneeling beside him. At Sky’s approached, he nodded and turned to help the other injured heroes. After a moment’s hesitation, Sky held out the sword to Legend, who took it with a nod of thanks. Sky dropped to the ground beside Legend, grateful to get off his sore feet. “How’d you fare?” Sky glanced over at Legend, who was examining his blade with a careful eye. “I’m fine, just a bit sore. No injuries.” Legend nodded. He dug through his pack and took out a cloth. He ran it across his sword, beginning the process of post-battle cleaning and maintenance. Sky took a quick breath before he spoke again. “About your sword…” Legend paused, then quirked an eyebrow up at Sky when he didn’t continue. “What about it?” Sky bit the inside of his bottom lip and looked over at the rest of the heroes. It seemed no one had suffered any major injuries — Legend had likely taken the worst hit and he’d already had a potion. He turned back to Legend. “Why did you never say that it was the Master Sword.” Legend stopped cleaning the blade, and then set the cloth aside. He picked the sword up and held it aloft, as if to spot any remaining imperfections. “I thought you’d realized already.” Sky shook his head. “It’s so different than the sword I know. Not just in appearance.” “I suppose it has changed quite a bit.” Legend’s expression was soft as he laid the sword across his lap once more. The blade gleamed orange in what little sunlight managed to make it through the forest canopy. Even the hilt was different — perhaps damaged and repaired or just adjusted to better fit its user’s grip. “Upgrading it was part of my journey. Made it a more powerful, more sturdy weapon.” But what did it do to Fi? Sky couldn’t help the thought. None of the others had ever implied that they knew of a spirit in their world’s Master Sword. When the topic came up, only Warriors had shown even a hint of recognition, but he’d never elaborated, smoothly changing the subject when pressed. Sky trusted Legend, and the rest of the heroes. He knew they wouldn’t harm Fi, or any being that meant them no harm, not on purpose. So what had happened in between Legend’s time and Sky’s own? What had caused her to go so quiet?

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

This post is a response to that one anon who sent in an ask about something that happened in webnovel 223.

I would have replied to your ask but tumblr ate it up :( but anyway, thank you sm for sending the 2nd ask! it warned me about the 1st ask containing spoilers so i was able to avoid reading it. And I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was for the TL to reach 223 so I could finally read your ask. Anyway, the 1st ask + my response under cut

Aw, it's quite disappointing to hear that the genre change wasn't a big thing later on. I can't say if it maybe was in subtle ways anyway, bc. well. We literally just hit ch 223 and I have nothing on what came after. (But if I do see it I'll make sure to make a meta analysis post on it later!)

I think that the reason why the genre change doesn't feel significant is because of the genre it changed to: Action Fantasy. Ailette has spent most of her time in this life either fighting or training. In other words: her life was already an Action Fantasy story. She doesn’t need to make any changes to her lifestyle, she doesn’t suddenly get confronted with Romance-oriented narrative challenges. And so our narrative tone doesn’t seem to change either.

Like what the TM Gods said, what was important was removing the restriction that “relationships outside the original story will result in death”. And to do that, they just needed to:

destroy the original story (ie. get rid of the “time loop” part of the story) +

provide a new anchor for this world to rely on (making Ailette the new MC)

That MC changing to Ailette feels insignificant is probably also because Ailette has always been our protagonist. In other words, from the perspective of this world and the gods in it, something existence-changing has happened. But it’s not apparent to us because we exist outside the story as readers to S-Class Heroine, which already has Ailette as its protagonist. The genre and MC change is from the perspective of the characters, not us. They didn’t need to dramatically change the story from our perspective. (To them, we in fact don’t even exist at all.)

On the topic of the genre change again, the genre change probably would only have felt more significant to us if it had changed to Romance like Ailette had hoped. It would mean that the things that are narrated – ie. things that end up having significant consequences on the characters’ lives – are all romance- and not fighting-related. Ailette would probably spend all her time working on her interpersonal relationships instead of beating demons up.

Meta-wise, I think that this would not have been a wise writing choice. One of S-Class Heroine’s greatest strengths is that unlike most knight-themed OIs, the MC genuinely finds great joy in gaining martial strength (it’s not just a job or a setting to show off how just and noble she is). And the narrative honours that by giving a lot of screentime to the joys of training and fighting – separate from the romance. The fighting scenes are an ends in and of themselves. The reader is supposed to take joy and be invested in Ailette’s non-romance fighting adventures. 

I bet that there are quite a lot of readers who appreciate S-Class Heroine’s balance between action and romance. To have the story shift so dramatically to romance at the expense of action would have been a disservice to the readers who have enjoyed it for 200+ chapters. Admittedly, I’m pretty sure that most of us really wouldn’t mind; we probably came across it because it’s Rofan – but S-Class Heroine is a gem because it manages to be actually action-oriented as well. I think it’ll just be a waste for that to change, when tbh it doesn’t really need to - S-Class Heroine manage to do romance just fine even when both leads were very pointedly trying to shut up. S-Class Heroine works better without dramatically changing its meta (our-universe) genre.

And the thing is that S-Class Heroine is only a Romance Fantasy to us because we knew from the start that it was a romance story. In S-Class Heroine the webnovel, Ailette’s underlying romantic motivations were very much the point, even when– or rather especially when they weren’t explicit. But to Ailette, the romance bloomed completely organically. When it was revealed in the Toy Mansion arc that Ailette was exempt from Tesilid’s Commandments restrictions, we all knew it was because of The Romance. But Ailette was really only concerned about how it’d make her life easier, and she didn’t see Tesilid romantically for like. Years. The story that we read as outsiders and the life that Ailette experiences don't line up completely, because of the lens through which we view it. S-Class Heroine is a Rofan to us, but for Ailette, who very purposely did a bunch of mental gymnastics to shield the narration from her romantic feelings and who spends most of her time training anyway, it has always been an Action Fantasy.

And so basically, TLDR;

The Genre and Main Character Change Ticket has to be read from the perspective of the in-universe characters, to whom its name was actually relevant to. The Genre and MC Change Ticket is not for us. It’s a tool for them and it’s the language they use to understand their world, not for us to analyse the story’s meta narrative. 

It’s confusing because we’re using the same words; genre action fantasy romance etc., but they mean different things depending on who’s speaking them and activating the words. To Ailette and the TM Gods, genres are like keys unlocking different paths they can navigate this life with; it’s like choosing what course to take in school/college. To us, genres are ways to analyse S-Class Heroine the story, which just so happens to centre around Ailette.

There’s probably an ORV-esque point to be made here about the author-protagonist-reader relationship, especially the protagonist-reader one. Something something the protagonist exists outside of the reader’s own needs and projections and interpretations and the protagonist has their own concerns and worries and perspectives, which need not be a complete mirror of the reader’s own, even in a story where the reader is meant to identify with the protag. Something something joongdok divorce arc, I think. Don’t quote me I haven’t read ORV in 2 years and I never understood that arc. But I think the themes are similar.

Yeah anyway thanks for listening to me yap. Sorry if what you meant by “it feels like the MC change should have been more significant” wasn’t actually “it feels like we should have felt some substantial change in the narrative”. I’ll come and re-answer this ask again when I’ve read more chapters, if this wasn’t the case.

[momojedi]

— THE HUNTER topic. original characters

**

type. one shot? drabble? idk note. just my oc stuff ... this is set in an au where death watch is far stricter with the religious views and uses the same rules as the children of the watch. Mi’dek and Nike are actually two characters a friend of mine made up when we were talking about the Mandalorian. warnings. none word count.

translations. gedet'ye - please; gev - stop it; k’oyacyi - hang in there

star wars masterlist || pinned post

"Stop!"

A beat. Suddenly, the world goes silent. The mandalorian bounty hunter is pinned down, barely fighting back after the dull hit his head had taken when Wrecker had roughly forced him to the ground. The Batch stills. Then, all eyes drift to her.

Omega's hands are in the air, her bow discarded somewhere on the ground next to her as she desperately stares at her brothers with widened eyes. "That's enough!" Hunter barely catches a glimpse of her before he understands. Then, he throws a quick signal to the others who swiftly holster their blasters, too.

The injured girl next to Omega lets out a relieved sigh that is quickly interrupted by a pained groan. "Gedet'ye..." Omega jumps to her side, supporting her weight as the girl slumps against her. "We need to help her!" "Get her to the ship," Hunter orders before turning to Wrecker under whom the Mandalorian is still caged, "Him too. If he steps out of line, you know what to do." "Sure thing!" The Mandalorian grunts dizzily as the huge man hoists him over his shoulder, still not fully conscious.

"What's your name?" The girl hisses as she feels the sharp prick of a bacta shot in her arm, barely registering Omega's curious questions. Then, she opens her eyes again. "Nike," she rasps, her voice almost a whisper. She looks fragile, with her meek figure and her greasy long hair. The low bags under her blue eyes and the hollow cheeks tell a story of month-long torment, torment the Empire probably had played a role in. This poor girl must’ve been to hell and back. How could Omega not have acted? "I'm Omega." Then, the young clone points at the other men roaming the former military shuttle. "And those are my brothers. They're very nice once you get past their, er," Omega grimaces, "rougher exterior?"

Nike listens to her wordlessly while observing Tech with a piercing glare, watching his every move as he stands beside the Mandalorian whom they’d previously cuffed and shackled to the ship’s G.N.K. droid. He’s still not moving, limply lying on the floor, the only proof of him being alive coming from the subtle heaving of his armoured chest.

Omega follows her stare. When she understands, her heart cracks at the longing expression on the girl’s face. “He’ll be fine,” Omega softly says as she carefully grabs Nike’s hand. But Nike remains worried. With a determined expression, Omega turns to look at her brother.

“Echo, could you take a look at him, too? He’s been out for some time now…” She pleads, pointing at their prisoner. “Just to make sure?” Echo hesitates, searching for any sign of displeasure in Hunter’s face but the sergeant just nods. With a sigh, Echo stands up and kneels down next to the unconscious man.

As if a switch had been flipped inside of her, Nike jumps up the moment the clone reaches for the helmet. “Gev!” The clones freeze, all heads turning to look at her. Nike rubs her temples, eyes scrunched shut as if she was searching her mind for her words. “Wait,” she then croaks, a subtle accent in her words, “You can’t take off his helmet.”

“What?” Echo raises a brow, “How else am I supposed to check on him?”

“It’s against his beliefs. No sentient being is to see his face.” Nike kneads at her hands, scanning the room for a way to persuade them not to act any further. “Isn’t there any other way?” Before anyone can bring up another argument, Tech pipes up from behind his datapad.

“I may be able to run a scan on him, though I’m unsure how effective that will be considering his beskar armour … either way, I am willing to give it a try.”

“Yes, yes, that will do,” Nike gratefully replies, quickly nodding. With that, she joins him by crawling over to the prisoner, kneeling next to Echo on the ground who curiously watches her as she cradles the Mandalorian’s helmeted head and carefully settles it in her lap. “K’oyacyi.”

Wrecker's low snores erupt through the Marauder's stomach few hours later, accompanied by the distant hum of the shuttle's machinery as it flies through the blue swirls of hyperspace. Omega hums silently as she sits next to Nike, focused on the set of cards on in her hands. When she finally draws another one, her eyes drift to the other girl, whose gaze had once again drifted to the still unconscious man. "What's his name?" Nike's head snaps back to Omega. "What?" "His name. You haven't mentioned it so far."

Hesitantly, the redhead lowers her own set of cards. "Mi'dek," she rasps, fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket, "my family hired him to find and bring me back to them when the Empire rose to power. After he’d found me, his shuttle crashed and we were stuck. That is, until you showed up."

“He did try to attack us,” Echo barks from his seat with a strict expression. Nike frowns. “He was protecting me!” At that, Omega raises a brow but before she can inquire any further, a stir from beside them catches their attention.

Mi’dek groans, his voice filtered through his helmet as he shuffles against the G.N.K. droid. The clanging of the binders quickly wakes him when he pulls at his shackled hand, once, twice, but to no avail. Then, a rougher pull. Immediately, he sits up, scanning his hand before snapping his head around. “Mi’dek! It’s okay,” Nike crawls to him, grabbing his free hand, “We’ll be fine.” At the sound of her voice and the sight of her freckled face, the Mandalorian visibly relaxes, though not before giving his surroundings another quick glance. Then, he nods at Echo. “Who are you people? What do you want from us?” he drawls lowly, “if you’re planning on handing her over, you’re going to have to get past me.”

Hunter’s deep chuckle catches him off-guard as he raises his head to look over at him. “I doubt you’re in much of a position for that.” Then, as if time suddenly slowed, the sergeant wordlessly paced over to him and finally, knelt down next to him. “Now, you’re going to explain to us what this is all about.”

The air grows tense when the worn hilt of the lightsaber hits the floor, a metallic clang breaking the silence.

“Who are you?”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

THTH 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Ransom Drysdale

Summary: You have a secret, but what do you do when it threatens to come out.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Ugh, goddamn it,” you hiss as you reach your phone to the sky. The signal is shit around here. You watch the little circle, waiting for a check mark to appear; nothing.

Three days. The bandwidth has been in and out for three days and you haven’t been able to upload a single thing. Not even a message. This is dumb. You growl at your phone and toss it on your bed. It bounces and hits the wall.

You huff and cross your arms. It’s not fair. Those three days could’ve made you money. You can’t even leech off the library wifi because of the content filters. So ridiculous. You’re just trying to make a living.

A tap comes at the door and you flinch. You quickly scoop up your phone and go to the door. You tuck it in your back pocket and pull your shirt down to cover the top. You open the door and peek out at your mom.

“Everything okay?” She asks.

“Uh, yep, just dropped something.”

“Oh, nothing broke, I hope.”

“All good,” you smile. She chews her lip anxiously, as she often does. “I’ll be down for dinner soon. Smells good.”

“Alright,” she says, “it’s almost done. Your favourite; spaghetti and meatballs.”

“Mmm, awesome.”

You shut the door and roll your eyes. Spaghetti isn’t your favourite. It’s what she says is your favourite. Just like everything else, it has to fit within her rules. If she says you like yellow, well then, you like yellow. It isn’t worth the argument to have a personality.

You take out the phone again. You nearly squeal as the check mark turns green. It sent! Just a text post notifying your few followers of the unexpected technical difficulties. You’ll be fortunate if they don’t bleed off to the other girls. When there’s so much variety, you can’t expect horny men not to hop on the next page with a pretty girl in lacy underwear…or less.

You scroll down but the rest of the posts show the blank blocks, pulsing as they struggle to load. You check the menu. Signal’s gone again. Welp, at least that went through.

You go to your bed and hide your phone under the mattress. Your parents know about your laptop, that’s your alibi. You tell them you do transcription work online. That doesn’t pay enough so you have the secret phone for your real business; you.

It isn’t exactly a career but it’s a means to an end. You’ll save up enough and be out of Hammer Ford in no time. You’re almost twenty and running out of time. A gap year is expected, but two? That’s sad.

Besides, you’re done with this life. You need out of this house. You are an adult. Your parents can’t make you eat your peas or ban you from the romance section in the library. One day, hopefully soon, you’ll be free.

For now, you’re going to go downstairs and pretend your mother’s spaghetti and meatballs isn’t complete mush.

📱

Days pass as you stare helplessly at the flashing bars in the corner of your phone. Damn phone company. The data plan was supposed to be a backup, even if you could only afford the cheapest vendor on the market. You at least thought it would work!

You manage to get a decent signal up on Thunder Lane by the hotel. It might be worth it to just walk in and get their wifi. You don’t think they’d care much. There aren’t many guests passing through now, are there?

The only benefit of your forced break is how much time it gave you to create new content. You choose the set of photos you took with the bunny ears and the barely there white teddy. You quickly flick through the settings and set the paywall. At least you’ll have money coming in before…

Yep, no internet. You’re lucky even that went through. You roll your eyes and hop back in the family oldsmobile. Your mother doesn’t let you have it often but you told her you were going for coffee and would fill up the tank.

As you roll up to the sleepy main row of Hammer Ford, your phone vibes. You quickly put it back to silent and check the notification. Your data’s flickering as you see the first response to your post. That was quick. Turns out someone did miss you.

_ransom_ware commented: ‘welcome back, bunny’.

You tap on the bubble but the app won’t load. Damnit! At least you have automatic deposit enabled. His tip will hit your account in a couple days.

You get out of the car and cross the street to the bakery. You could butter your mom up with some tarts, maybe convince her to let you take the car into the city. That might be your best chance at catching up. You could schedule posts and not have to fight with the damn countryside desolation.

As you enter the bakery, it’s quiet. There’s one person at a table. You don’t recognise him. He has his back to you so you don’t think much of it. Probably just another lumber worker sating their repressed sweet tooth. Although, he is dressed a bit too nice for that. No plaid or denim? Huh.

You go up to the counter and order a half-dozen cherry tarts and a latte. You pay with the secret credit card you use for your online transactions and thank the girl behind the counter. As you turn, you find the man at the table turned in his seat. He glances at you as you carry out the tray of tarts and coffee.

You’re used to the stares. The men in Hammer Ford aren’t exactly subtle and your nights at The Horn have earned you a reputation, though those stories don’t make it past your front door. It’s just a little fun, you have a pint and tie your shirt above your belly button and dance. Nothing serious.

Your mom and dad are too chaste and pious to ever wander into the bar. It’s your escape, your safe space. Just for now. Just until you can get out of this hell hole.

[papayafiles]

watch drive to survive with me, a lando fan with absolutely zero chill, season 6 episode 3 edition:

(this got so long it literally exceeded tumblr's character limit, which i did not know existed until now, so i'm splitting it into two parts and posting it anyway because what is a tumblr blog for if not dramatic unhinged public breakdowns!)

it hasn't even started and i'm already Losing My Mind

"the brand cries out for more performance" with angsty heavy music... i forgot how dramatic drive to survive was. the music really enhances the stakes here.

"we did go backwards last year. no denying" cut to daniel struggling at the back 😭 he's not even in the team anymore and he's still catching strays. drive to survive editors have zero chill.

dramatic conversation between zac brown and a mclaren exec about how poorly things are giong... cut straight to lando walking into his interview with rice cakes smiling and giggling. I LOVE HIM.

the squeal of excitement that came out of my mouth at his VERY FIRST line (it's one word: "wow". wow indeed lando norris. you. yes. wow. i need to stop)

producer: "did you break it?" lando: *instantly looks concerned and checks*

LMAO not oscar waving his arms in front of the mtc double doors trying to motion sensor them open... only to fail epically 😭 dork (affectionate)

LANDOSCAR <3

oscar arriving late to the first mclaren team meeting and immediately thinking to ask his guide if lando's arrived yet vs lando making a point of pointing out that he beat oscar there 😭 idiots

lando watching oscar walk into the room for the first time with a contemplative expression… what are you thinking in that beautiful curly head of yours

oscar, doing an official interview about mclaren f1 vs lando, in the corner, eyeing him up and down: oscar’s quite tall, huh? he doesn’t look tall, but he is. he’s also like 15.

trademark dts beat drop after will buxton finishes dramatically chatting shit oh i've missed this

lando face scrunch count: 1

oh no we’re doing bahrain

i didn’t watch bahrain live so i didn’t know it was this bad 😭 wdym 25-30 second long fifth stop of the race my god

“red bull DOMINATES bahrain” yeah yeah shut up

claire williams??? what is she doing here

lando looking distraught cut the cameras i can’t do this 😭

“is it too soon to call it a crisis?” f1 journalists have zero chill (derogatory)

mclaren were DEAD LAST?? i was not aware

not christian horner again 😭 leave lando ALONE! he doesn’t want you!! netflix pls stop exploiting cute norstappen clips for your rbr lando agenda i do NOT endorse this

christian horner saying lando would fit really well in the red bull environment…………… in WHAT world

i’m so interested in seeing how conversations with pr managers go… like this is so fun to see them go through the bullet points of what topics journalists might ask and the ~vibe~ they want to be giving in their responses

…okay netflix i REALLY feel like you’re taking clips out of context and splicing them together to form a narrative here. and i get that that’s your whole job. but i think i also get why lando signed that renewal so early now 😭 warding off dts bullshit before it can even start to hit

“we’re so slow on the straight” dipping to a whisper like a confession he didn’t mean to slip out… glance up then back down again… i see you storytellers weaving the narrative. i see you. i get it. you really don't need to keep going

okay i know lando and zak are having a very serious conversation in this scene but also. lando in golf clothes. arms. AND legs. bronze tanned smooth skin... i’m not even thirsting here i’m just pointing out OBJECTIVE facts that are possibly maybe a little bit distracting me from… whatever they're talking about

“i’ll do my best, as always” ❤️ he always does

will buxton shut UP

why are they spending so much time on miami... they weren’t even good there… we’re getting more angst aren’t we.

ohh i forgot how pretty the red bull miami liveries were

nevermind they’re showing max lapping the mclarens. no longer pretty. fuck that livery actually

lando sounds so depressed on the radio i’m going through it 😭

did he really say haha. LOL. :/ on the radio 😭😭😭

“i’m not suggesting it may look bad. i’m suggesting it is bad”

lando saying "fucking hell" on the radio count: 2

okay do we really need another montage of team principals ragging on mclaren. we get it! you want him! he has a line of admirers a mile long! move on!!

NORRUSSEL CONTENT

according to george there are drivers who drink during normal race weekends?? lando throwing up his hands as the camera points toward him like not me! (i can't tell if george is joking but that sounds crazy to me? i bet it's either a really depressed backmarker or max after winning the wdc on a saturday)

not george calling the mclarens horrendous 😭 have some mercy

……………………………………...........

NETFLIX—

cut the cameras.

NETFLIX WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME

the way i'm actually in tears 😭 i'm so fragile right now do not talk to me

"this is the worst start to any season i've ever had. i want to be the best driver there is in formula 1. that's why i started my whole journey" THEN THEY CUT TO HIM IN A GO-KART??? A MONTAGE SEQUENCE???

they really edited together a mini montage of lando's whole journey including interview clips of him as a young child then put a voiceover of his tiny baby voice saying "i need to be stronger and not make so many mistakes" over video footage of adult lando looking depressed out the plane window and expected me to just be okay after that.

then they go straight into a montage of zak brown and lando's history together going way back ("first time i met lando, he was a small 14 year old ... he was very shy, as you'd expect a 14 year old... he was very fast.") cutting between old photos of them together pre-f1 with emotional music ("i think the first time he drove a racecar it was probably mine") oh! okay then!!

"i would love to create the story and finish the story and everything with mclaren. i really would love that." EVERYTHING HURTS

why does watching this episode make me feel like he's going to leave mclaren when i KNOW he just signed a contract extension? the magic of mood-setting background music and splicing clips together

zak brown meeting with all the sponsors... he is a stronger man than me. i would be freaking out in his position. it's also insane how much is riding on literal sports results from a corporation/business perspective? like the amount of pressure on f1 drivers to deliver is wild and here we are giggling at our silly clown sport and its silly circus events

oh claire williams shut up

(you don't even have a job in f1 anymore why are you still HERE)

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Chubtober Day 22!

Apparently I’m going rogue now and not following prompts again 😅 I didn’t have much time to write this weekend due to traveling so today’s post is an idea from my drafts.

⚠️ I just want to give a trigger warnings that this idea has some pretty heavy topics. There is discussion of grief related to a parent’s death, trauma related to an accident, injury recovery, and a variety of mental health issues with coping mechanisms related to food and physical activity. Please use your discretion and skip this post if you need to!

—-

Character & Relationship Breakdown

Dance Professor Jimin/Writer Namjoon/Personal Trainer Jungkook

Artist Taehyung/Choreographer Hobi

Music Therapist Yoongi/Private Chef Jin

Taehyung and Namjoon are brothers

Jimin and Taehyung are childhood best friends

Plot Outline

Taehyung and Namjoon are in a car accident with their mother while Tae is driving who is not at all responsible - hit by a drunk driver. Their mother dies, but they are injured. Both are grieving and Tae feels incredibly guilty even though he shouldn’t.

Taehyung can’t face Namjoon due to the grief and unnecessary shame he feels and shuts himself away at home. Hobi is unsure of what to do beyond making sure his partner is comfortable, although Tae thankfully has very minor physical injuries.

Tae is spending most of his time watching his mom’s favorite kdramas and eating her favorite foods as a way to stay connected to her. He all but abandons his artwork, closing and locking the door to his studio with no interest of going back in.

Hobi quickly becomes an enabler because he can’t possibly address Tae’s weight gain considering the reason behind his binge eating. All he wants is for Tae to feel safe and loved as he recovers from so many different sources of emotional trauma and grief.

Hobi is unwavering support for Tae even if it isn’t always received. He would never question what Tae needs, never stopping him from eating or sitting around with his mom’s memories if it helps.

He is also in constant contact with Jimin, trying to lessen the younger’s emotional load knowing that Jimin is carrying a lot. Helping him gives Hobi comfort knowing that he can’t really help Tae right now.

Namjoon has a major leg injury that leaves him nearly immobile without help from his partners. Jimin and Jungkook are both strong enough to help him move around, but Namjoon has little interest in moving aside from bathing and sitting on their balcony. He spends most of his time reading books, looking through photos, and eating in whatever comfortable corner he asks to be left in.

Writing that used to be his perfect outlook felt like the hardest task in the world. Namjoon didn’t even bother to charge his laptop anymore knowing that he would never get a single sentence worth writing out of his head.

On top of his grief, Namjoon begins carrying a lot of guilt because he’s so observant. Jungkook can’t hide his emotions so Namjoon sees when Jimin comforts their partner who is near tears from not being able to help.

Namjoon sees the stress on Jimin’s shoulders because of Namjoon’s physical and mental state, Jungkook’s emotional state, and the fact that Jimin has basically temporarily lost his best friend with Taehyung and Namjoon’s sudden isolation and healing period.

Yoongi and Jin try to support them without hovering, understanding the fragile state all five are currently living in.

Yoongi sends messages of support and suggestions for healthy coping mechanisms that are rarely used. Jin drops off food regularly at both homes, sharing bolstering words and warm hugs with his friends to offer even a moment of relief.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi set up therapy, grief groups, anything they could think of with little participation or willingness from their partners. Tae and Namjoon continue the isolation and emotional eating, the only apparent source of comfort the brothers can seem to find.

Their partners allow the behavior to continue because they don’t know what else to do. Hobi can’t see Taehyung cry anymore, the only way Jungkook can help is by offering Namjoon food, and Jimin is simply emotionally drained.

Jungkook becomes the worst in terms of enabling. His whole being screaming to help, struggling to see his dear Namjoon so broken and his precious Jimin crumbling under the pressure.

He brings home treat after treat just trying to get Namjoon to crack the smallest of smiles. He takes up cooking almost all their meals so Jimin can have a break as his partner has been stress cleaning and handling all the things Namjoon usually handles like finances, errands, and bills on top of his already heavy emotional load.

And Jimin is just barely holding on. He is such an empathetic person that he breaks from the emotional load in small moments that constantly bounce around his mind.

Randomly hitting a wall in the middle of the day after yet another failed conversation about Namjoon calling Tae or going to a grief group leads Jimin to tell Jungkook that he needs to go for a run before he has a breakdown.

Jimin becomes so stressed that he starts losing weight as his partner and best friend are piling on the pounds. He starts running daily to escape the feeling of failing them, searching for constant control on the simple things like bills and chores so he feels like something is actually right and in order.

All Jungkook wants is to help, but he knows when he’s making it more difficult so he puts his energy into other things. Getting Namjoon anything and everything he could possibly want to eat, hitting the weights hard to always be strong enough to move Namjoon around the house, offering simply intimacies like long, tight embraces to help Jimin ground himself.

The more Namjoon watches his partners hold themselves together with tape and glue, the more he eats to fill the nauseous void of warmth in his body.

Jin notices the shift in all three of them during his short visits and starts to accommodate his deliveries. He makes larger portions for Namjoon considering his growing stature, includes heavier proteins for Jungkook seeing his increasing muscle mass, and prepares an entirely separate bag labeled for Jimin to keep it out of Namjoon’s grasp as he watches the younger run the weight off his already tiny frame.

However, there are things that slow Namjoon’s gain slightly in comparison to Taehyung’s.

Namjoon is genuinely trying to hold back sometimes out of guilt. He sees the worry in Jungkook’s eyes and hears Jimin’s calls with the physical therapist about his health.

Taehyung, on the other hand, knows if he’s not eating, he's going to spiral even deeper. It’s his one source of joy now aside from cuddling with his partner and since Hobi isnt stopping it, he'll eat himself sick most days.

Also, Hobi has to be out of the house for work and errands so Tae is left alone to eat whatever he can find while Namjoon always has someone home to contain some of his eating and food access.

Jimin had switched to teaching online courses only for the next year and Jungkook adjusted his schedule for regular clients only since Namjoon has caregiver-type needs. Plus, Jimin will occasionally put his foot down and make healthy meals or snacks when Namjoon has physical therapy or Jimin is having a particularly bad day.

Hobi, instead, leaves Taehyung a pile of snacks, hoping he doesn't clear the pantry while he’s at work. They just don’t have the ability to be home together all day like the others do.

Also, all three supportive partners are clearly active by nature, but Jungkook and Jimin are outwardly fitness-focused people which has some effect on Namjoon even subconsciously.

Tae has absolutely no issue choosing to be sedentary, finding his couch and bottomless snacks surrounded by memories of his mother the best place for him.

On top of Namjoon’s partner’s influence, he has physical pain working against him and sometimes, he just has move around or relocate to find comfort as well as doing his physical therapy exercises.

Jungkook and Jimin prepare extra servings of their own balanced meals, hoping the Namjoon will choose to eat with them which be often does out of guilt.

Tae is left with instant meals, anything Jin brings over, or delivery. He can’t cook at all, as if he even would find the energy to do it, and Hobi usually doesn't have time to make him anything significant.

So, Tae's diet becomes a daily intake of carbs and sweets. Especially because he has taken up a method of grief that directly affects his waistline - eating all of his mother’s favorite foods.

He will gladly order her favorite noodle dish and dumplings plus whatever desserts, snacks, and candies she loved, being his exclusive diet for the first few months.

Tae is fixated on his mom’s favorite food while Joon can’t even look at it. Tae is using the food to connect with her while Joon is using the food to avoid the memories of her.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi continue their attempts at getting their partners to attend therapy sessions or even simply talk to each other to no avail.

After nearly six months, Jimin finally goes to Yoongi and begs him in tears to help, knowing that he’s said no to offering therapy before because of conflict of interest, but he explains that all three are at the end of their emotional lines to help.

Yoongi agrees and meets one on one with each of his friends at their own homes, baked goods from Jin in tow. He has watched his friends deteriorate since the tragedy and knows it will be difficult.

After some visits, Yoongi convinces Tae and Namjoon both to leave their homes and come over to his house, telling them that it would help if he could sit them at his piano while they play together.

Tae shows up not knowing that Namjoon is mobile again, his leg injury finally healed well enough to get around himself. He tries but can’t hide the tears that fall after realizing he and his brother attempted to heal using the same method.

They had never spent so much time apart and certainly had never weighed as much as they do now.

Both feel slightly betrayed to know that Yoongi invited them at the same time, but they know it’s what is necessary to starting processing their grief that has spiraled for too long.

Confronted with their grief again and seeing each other for the first time since their mother’s funeral, the emotions are, as expected, high.

Yoongi talks them through some things while Jin mollifies them with baked goods. The sugar and neutral ground to talk helps them realize that both were harboring a lot of assumptions that were never quite true.

The visits continue with music and lots of high quality food as the brothers mend their relationship and process their grief.

He gets Taehyung back in front of his easel that had long gathered dust and encourages Namjoon to write short stories as a method of processing his emotions.

Yoongi listens to what they have to say and asks Jimin, Jungkook, and Hobi if they are in therapy and if they would like to come over to some of these sessions.

Hobi and Jungkook jump on the opportunity immediately, wanting to see the progress with their partners and have the ability to share without hesitation of harming their progress.

Jimin finds the offer difficult, unsure of where he stands with Taehyung after months apart and terrified to implode everyone’s success with his own struggles.

Yoongi helps Jimin find a partner and caregiver based grief group, knowing the younger has an incredibly unique and deeply rooted emotional burden to process.

Hearing of Jimin’s honest admission, Taehyung and Namjoon regress into their former habits of seeking comfort and relief in food. Yoongi is able to help them all process the emotions together, but he is also honest about the fact that Tae and Namjoon may never entirely kick this hardened habit of covering up difficult emotions with a full stomach.

Even with the grief relapses and poor diet choices, all of them are so grateful to Yoongi and Jin for helping all of them start seeming like themselves again.

However, it also means that it’s time to address the fact that in a year since their mother’s death, there is at least 150 additional pounds between Taehyung and Namjoon that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon.

[5hinee4ever]

Hi guys, it’s me again.

I’m the person who made the “if you don’t support this respect Taemin thing you don’t care about Jonghyun” post last week.

I’ve since deleted the post because I thought it was really harsh and unnecessary and I was using words to get people to see my point, but I was angry.

What I wanted people to take away from that post is that Jonghyun would want us to challenge the K-pop industry and not be complacent with it, and saying “Taemin won’t be promoted because that’s just how the industry is” is complacency, and that if Jonghyun was here he would likely vouch for Taemin to get his year end stage, although I don’t know if the outcome would be any different. Guilty may not even exist. Things would be different if he was here but he isn’t.

It’s more about the fact that some non-Shawols took what happened and made it tragedy p0rn which is 100% not ok. However I see a lot of Shawols in defense to this spreading toxic positivity and almost shutting down people when they say they miss him or whatever, and most people only want to focus on cute and funny moments or his talent and not difficult topics.

We KNOW Taemin has struggles with anxiety and depression whether or not he wants to tell us this. The Taemin hashtags came out a day after I saw Holland’s post about wanting to leave the industry and I was just thinking about how closed-minded, homophobic, and static it is. I don’t know whether or not Taemin is queer himself, but he is definitely the target of some anti-queer ideologies because of how he dresses and presents.

I also genuinely believe that SM doesn’t promote his more “challenging” comebacks like “Guilty” because they don’t want to own up to their own mistakes in how they they failed to protect their young idols from harassment. There are many variety show clips of an underage Taemin being jokingly flirted with or hit on by older men and Jonghyun was the only one who seemed to try to do something. I am NOT saying the others didn’t care, I’m sure they were in an awkward position and didn’t know what to say. Key was laughing awkwardly in some of the clips I don’t think he found it funny, he was just trying to ease social tension or it was a nervous laugh. But I guess my point is a lot of people would be afraid to say something to put their careers at risk but Jonghyun gave the guy a warning.

I guess my point was that that we shouldn’t only remember Jonghyun as an amazing singer and artist and a sweet and funny person but also an activist, and one of the only people in the industry at the time to talk about mental health, LGBTQ, and women’s’ issues. But in addition to all that he was also Taemin’s biggest fan and would 100 vouch for him to have better opportunities in a case like this. I felt that saying Taemin won’t get promoted on these shows and we shouldn’t trend hashtags was disrespectful to both Taemin and Jonghyun.

But saying that “you don’t care about Jonghyun” is wrong. Some of you don’t, some of you who aren’t Shawols and don’t get it, and some of you who claim to be Shawols but miss the damn point all the time, or they only care about keeping an image intact. But I can’t say that everyone who disagrees with my way of helping Taemin is unsupportive or doesn’t care. I know hashtags and screaming into the void can come off as pointless or stupid. But I am autistic and have a very strong internal sense of justice, and I got angry and tried to keep spreading the tags to try to help. It didn’t matter because at that point all shows were scheduled. I also feel so helpless in the general state of the world, going on with my life when people are killed in wars and famine and how society feels like it is crumbling. I took hold of something I thought I could have some sway over and did it.

I want to make a formal apology to anyone I hurt with my words. There is no excuse for saying what I said, even if it may apply to some people, it may also reach others who were hurt.

Taemin just posted on Bubble that Yeonjun “relieved him of his sorrow” according to Google Translate, and someone in my group chat translated it to say basically that Yeonjun fulfilled his desire. So I think we can say Taemin is satisfied with Yeonjun’s performance despite him still probably preferring to do it himself. As a Moa, SHINee and TXT have a lot of mutual respect for each other and this is not the first time I’ve seen our fandoms going head to head, like with the light stick thing back in 2020, which was quite frankly stupid. I’m sure Taemin would have preferred to perform himself but he seems satisfied with Yeonjun’s performance and what’s done is done.

I now want to ask you to PLEASE not harass Yeonjun or Kiss of Life for the performance. If you want to get angry at anyone, you can get angry at SM or Golden Disc, but my “conspiracy” about his promotions isn’t even confirmed. It could be a simple business thing where they got fourth gen idols to get more views. The ship on this has sailed, and I’m seeing people still pissed and trying to trend the hashtags.

You should want him to get better promos and you should want the industry to face some of its glaring issues, like debuting such young minors, which Taemin addressed his own experience in Guilty…SM doesn’t want to talk about Taemin or Krystal or Sulli and the fact that Min Hee Jin is still in the industry says a LOT, it’s not only an SM problem but industry-wide.

But this particular issue is over, and we don’t need to discuss it anymore and start fights about it, since Taemin himself said he was satisfied with Yeonjun’s performance.

I want to add one additional note to the people who said that we were infantilize Taemin or treating him as helpless with these hashtags. I respectfully disagree, and believe that Taemin has and will continue to achieve a lot on his own, but having a strong support network is good for adults too, and fans should help artists achieve their goals especially when they are subverting industry norms. Adults also need strong support networks for their mental health, and I’m sure Jonghyun would vouch for that as well, but that doesn’t excuse my wording. All I wanted to do was be a supportive fan but I ended up attacking others. I feel like I need to apologize to Jonghyun too for using him like this.

So my main takeaways are:

1) we should remember ALL aspects of Jonghyun’s life and not ignore his activism or his support of Taemin and we should honor his memory by supporting positive change in the industry and

2) this specific Taemin issue is over, and harassing others over it who disagree with you is not okay, as well as harassing the idols who did the cover.

I just want to say that I will still have the petition for a world tour in my pinned post, and I want to get as many signatures as possible to show Taemin how much support he has and hopefully have it get back to SM as well for them to see the demand. This is one constructive thing we can do for the future. Also I don’t usually say this, but stream stream stream. I don’t support streaming culture on the whole, but Guilty MV really needs it and the song is so good I’m playing it on repeat anyway.

Again, I’m sorry if I hurt anyone, and I thank you for your patience.

-Riah