#I’m exploring a lot of emotion here and it’s HARD lol

[cerealmonster15]

my lunch break time has become my daily “progress on twst fic wips” time lol

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer's spotlight feature is: @pearynice! With twenty-eight Stranger Things works, they've written twenty-seven fics tagged with Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson!

Nominated by @hotluncheddie, they recommend the following works by peachesandpears:

Talk to Me

Personally

Starched Collars

In your eyes

they are so lovely and so talented!! so many short and sweet pieces - that so often seem to touch and soft squishy part hidden away within me, put a little bandaid on it <3 - @hotluncheddie

Below the cut, @pearynice answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve always loved the “opposites attract” trope. While Steddie is the first ship I’ve ever seriously written for, in the past this dynamic has always been my go to (ie: destiel lol) but Steddie specifically because I think Stranger Things is a great show with compelling characters, and that Eddie and Steve deserve a happy ending. And for me that happy ending will always have them with each other.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love AUs. Love seeing the little blorbos in as many situations as possible. I love being able to see how writers take what we know about these characters and make it into a whole new story. (But especially a soulmate AU. I loveeee a soulmate AU.)

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I think anyone who follows me can probably guess hurt/ comfort and fluff. I LOVE making these boys suffer and then smooch about it. 

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

AH okay I will scream about this fic until I’m blue in the face (I actually submitted an ask to this blog about it because I think it’s criminally under-viewed!) it’s As the World Falls Down by daeneryske on Ao3. I read this MONTHS ago and I still think about it all the time. It’s long but god I wish it would never end. I want to tattoo it on the inside of my eyelids.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Yes!! I can’t say much because it’s for my Reverse Big Bang but they both contain tropes I’ve never worked with before and I’m so so excited to be writing both of them!!! I’m already having so much fun! And a goal of mine for 2024 is to broaden my writing horizons a little and explore tropes and topics that I haven’t yet, so I don’t really have any specifically in mind but that is my general plan!

What is your writing process like?

Very chaotic. I almost never write an outline. It’s pure vibes baby. And when I DO write an outline I almost never follow it (whoopsie) I feel like as I write the plot comes to me, and outlines tend to pigeon hole me so I can’t get myself out of writing slumps.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Maybe my overuse of italics?  I also don’t really know how to describe it but sometimes when I’m writing heavy action scenes/ emotional scenes I’ll start and stop sentences before they’re complete sentences. Like: “Steve says nothing. Sits down next to his father and looks over his shoulder.” I don’t know if that’s a writing quirk or not lol but that tends to be how I structure my sentences.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely after I’ve finished. Once I’m on a deadline I psych myself out.

Which fic are you most proud of?

That’s such a hard one, because I think I’m proud of a lot of my fics but for very different reasons. I think if I had to choose, I’d pick Blood of the Covenant. It’s one of my more recent fics, and I had toyed around with a Wayne POV fic for such a long time before writing because I wanted to get it right. It was hard to find his voice but I think in the end I executed it well.  

How did you get the idea for Talk to Me?

Well besties I dunno how personal we want to get here, but the inspo for this fic (and tbh a lot of my hurt/ comfort fics) is just based on my own experiences. Growing up my mom did not have the capacity to tend to the thoughts and emotions of her kids, ergo me pushing that shit into a Steddie fic. Obviously what I wrote as Steve’s experience and mine are not directly parallel, but that is how I got the idea.

When writing Starched Collars, what was something you didn’t expect?

That was my first heavy hurt/comfort fic that I wrote, and I remember being really blown away that people could relate so heavily to Steve’s experiences. I remember I had some comments saying that they felt really comforted seeing their own experiences reflected within Steve, and I just never expected my writing to be able provide that for someone. 

What inspired Personally?

Well, again, we’re getting a little personal (babum tss)- but how I wrote Steve’s mom reacting to him mentioning the sunglasses is definitely how my own mom tends to react when I express any kind of negative emotion around her. In this case it was a lost parking stub instead of sunglasses.

What was your favorite part to write from Talk to Me?

The COMFORT- that’s always my favorite part. Making it better! (Although it is also a little fun leaving the angsty cliffhanger- but I will ALWAYS make my fics have a happy ending.) But also I’m a little in love with the idea I had that Eddie likes to rub on Steve’s stomach until he falls asleep. I thought that wrapped up the story very nicely.

How do/did you feel writing Personally?

It was honestly very therapeutic. I don’t think I’ve ever word-vomited out a fic more rapidly than I did for that one. I wrote that in my notes app in one afternoon, read through it once or twice, and posted. It was a relief to get all of that out in writing, and then even better to see that other people found comfort in what I had written. 

What was the most difficult part of writing Starched Collars?

When I was first drafting the fic I was going to have Starched Collars and In Your Eyes (the kinda sorta sequel) be one in the same. I spent a long time trying to balance the two narratives, before I realized it was just too much to fit into one fic. Having both detracted from the other’s story too much, and eventually I had it just focusing on Steve. I think this was the best move but I spent so long trying to strike that balance before I scrapped it.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I don’t know if I can name any one scene or line as explicitly my favorite, but the final scene of Because it’s Steve it’s absolutely a favorite. That whole fic is very special to me because it reflects a lot of my own thoughts/feelings/experiences on being demi, and that final scene is just exactly how I experience my demisexuality. (I’m not sure how long this can be, but I’ll insert the passage here): 

And they’re still in this disgusting bathroom. There’s still a toilet behind Eddie’s knees, but when Steve’s mouth meets his, it doesn’t matter. Because one of Steve’s arms wraps around his middle, his fingers dip into the spaces between his ribs, their chests touch, and it all feels so good. Because it’s Steve. And it’s still Steve who kisses him, still Steve who licks into his mouth, still Steve who nearly sends them both stumbling into the disgusting toilet. And because it’s Steve it’s so funny that Eddie can’t stop laughing, and there’s a blush high on Steve’s cheeks as he tells Eddie to stop it. But then Steve kisses him again. Asks if he wants to go and find Robin and Nancy. If he wants to dance. With him. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

YES. So Because it’s Steve is now a series: Demi/Virgin!Eddie, with all of Eddie’s firsts with Steve. This is very smutty but it’s also like, the sappiest, most disgustingly fluffy smut I’ve ever written. I would say it’s “schmoopy” but I was outed as an Old Lady on Discord because apparently no one uses that word anymore. ALSO- and maybe this is still too far away BUT I am working on TWO Reverse Big Bang pieces and… you guys… my artists are so talented and kind and their brains are so big and so far I’ve gotten along with each of them so well and I am already so excited to post these and we’ve only just begun. I cannot wait until we can make our visions into an entire fic!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add? 

YES- whoever nominated me for this (I don’t know if that’s something they’ll tell me??) THANK YOU- this is so sweet. I feel so honored that someone thought of me as deserving of this. There are so, so many authors you could've chosen and you chose ME! That’s just- insane. Thank you.  And to anyone who has said they found my hurt/ comfort fics relatable in any way, I rain all of the platonic hugs/ forehead kisses/ handshakes/ high fives/ nods of the head upon you. ❤️✨

Thank you to our author, @pearynice, and our nominator, @hotluncheddie! See more of @pearynice's work featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[starboysbrainrot]

got a few asks in the last days asking me what ships I liked in atla, and so let’s do a quick recap here of what ship I like and why. (no proshit stuff on my blog dw) reminder that I am a multishipper so yes you should see fan arts of all these knuckleheads at least 1 time on my blog if atla keeps inspiring me to draw.

let’s start with the canon ones !

kataang : when platonic very sweet, i just think that their development in season 3 is a bit wacky, but i enjoy them nevertheless, ESPECIALLY in fanfics (i spend my summer in 2022 reading kataang fics, that was my personal therapy for a bit lol). my only problem is that i have a lot of issues with some kataang fans, and that made me loose interest in the ship in 2020-2021. (before getting back on board) + I’m a platonic kataang stan

sukka : an all time favorite of mine ! absolutely love their development in the series. I hope to see more of them in the movies (if we get to see Suki !)

jetara : ooooh my, as a kid i hated that ship but in late teen years i started really liking the conflicting feelings such a ship holds. the few fics I’ve read about them made me sob like a baby lol

jinko : one word : adorable

non-canon ones :

zutara : that ship has been a fundamental part of my teenage years and even now it holds a special place in my heart. I read many good fics about them, and the special bond they share in the series still makes me emotional after all those years. I personally enjoy the ship platonically but also romantically. I just have a lot of issues with some zutarians.

zukka : a ship that I personally had never considered (and seriously idk why cuz they’re such a fun ship) before gaining back my atla hyperfixation in 2023. lots of very sweet fan arts and the fics !! absolutely adore them

jetko : another personal favourite of mine. I just adore the dynamic, the angst, and the gut wrenching thought that the canon gave us a doomed relationship between them from the beginning. the potential such a ship holds is what made me liked them in the first place.

taang : ooooh the sillies !!! I love them so much. they’re I think my favourite platonic ship. I usually read about them when I feel down. I just like how they’re complete each others and the special bond they share in canon.

sutara : probably my fav wlw ship in atla after mailee. they have so much potential, and the “badass duo” dynamic has always been a favorite of mine haha.

azulee : toxic doomed Yuri, but if we’re speaking seriously, I really think that their dynamic is very interesting. not my fav ship for ty Lee but it’s still a very cool ship if you ask me.

mailee : these two <3 idk i just love the grumpy x sunshine when it’s done right and for me they are the only ship in atla that can do that dynamic correctly.

azutara : another ship I discovered recently but damn is it interesting. the possibilities !! there is so much to explore here and i absolutely love that

zuki : as much as i despise the comics… that’s one good thing that came out of it !! they have a very interesting relationship and there’s something especially sweet with these two that i really like.

harutara : a ship i don’t see very often in the fandom but they’re cute !! like that’s legit why i like them. no drama, no hard feelings, just fluff

jetkotara : is it possible to have a more angst-concentrated ship ? I don’t think so. on a more lighthearted note, the idea of zuatara sharing the same ex makes me wheeze. also it’s might just be my fav polyship in atla

suki/sokka/zuko : do they have a ship name ?? idk but I love that dynamic. again it’s a rare treat in that fandom but I love it nonetheless.

I think that’s all. the only ship that I don’t really like is maiko, but that’s purely personal. I thought that their relationship was rocky at best and toxic at worst in the series. but absolutely no hate to the maiko shippers ! y’all have are some really skilled artists and I’m always in awe of your fan arts.

so anyways. if you have others ships that you like, feel free to share it here under that post. my blog will always be a safe space for shipping.

[tillywunderwing]

IEYTD - Hardcore Mode

AKA an AU with no real plot yet but that’s pinging around in my brain anyway

So I’m an avid believer in the ‘literal game overs’ — Phoenix as a character who cannot be permanently killed is really fun to explore in fic, cause you get some interesting characterisation there for their general bravado or recklessness knowing they never stay dead long. I make this true by default for most to all of the IEYTD fics I write, because it’s fun to me!

However. I have considered an alternate version of this.

AU where every time Agent Phoenix dies, they do get a chance to start over — but when they do, they’re sent all the way back to the very first mission of the very first game. They have to live the entire ensuing year/s over and over again, making only the slightest bit of further progress each time before something inevitably cuts them all the way back.

I think it’s an interesting thought experiment to wonder how they’d behave here. On the one hand, they’d have to keep some of that flippancy that comes free with immortality, but they also would have to be a lot more careful because their mistakes do have a cost here. Nothing they can’t ever technically recover, but at a certain point it’s about the repetition, the emotional strain of it all. How many times can a person hard-knuckle through the same two years, dying over and over again at the same end point because too much time passes between rehearsals for the hard earned lessons to really stick? How many times before they start to lose hope?

It would also give a fun narrative spin in the sense that they can go back and change things at the root, now. Like… they would never have been able to save John Juniper in the current timeline, regular resets on or not, it was too late and he was too far out of reach. But if they go back to before he ever joined with Zoraxis, could they have stopped him? Would they have thought to try, even for the sake of doing one thing different this time? Same goes for Prism — maybe they could save her from losing her robots, maybe they could alter the course of events from the stem.

Would they treat it like a blessing or a curse? If one first and the other later, where — when — does that shift start to come through?

Like I said, this is mostly an interesting thought experiment for the moment, might get a fic to itself one day but I need first a plot and time lol. Feel free 2 talk at me if you have any thoughts or ideas abt this! :]

[leggerefiore]

my brain wouldn’t let me do any work today unless i drew colress’s daughter so here she is!! her outfit might change in the future, i’m not sure if i’m satisfied with it yet. kind of want to give her different frames. her design isn’t based on anything in particular.

anyways, she’s a cutie who loves cute things but is also probably unhinged when something really interests her (not shown here, at least not yet. who knows where either of her interactions with the twins are going). she’s single-handedly saving every student who’s bad at physics with her social media account where she explains sciencey things, so please make sure to like all her posts and leave a nice comment <3 (preferably not asking why her dad isn’t in jail. she gets enough of those… maybe she should put it in a faq or something…)

~

Been thinking about naming her something that means colour/colourful, so she's like the opposite of her dad. Only name that seems up there is Aya... Still unsettled. Very hard child to name lol

She does wear glasses! She tries to wear contacts when she can, but she probably does go for very cute frames for her normal glasses. She is as blind as her dad and hates it. Genetic curse.

She really is like her dad... That one scene of him madly ranting about Z-Crystals is comparable to her finding random pokemon and people she really likes. She probably thinks the twins are neat but wonders a lot about them. Morrigan being good at hiding her emotions while Nero seems to be too open. Much to explore for fun.

The pins are a really cute idea... I hadn't even considered her trying to decorate her coat like that... The UFO means she has Magnezone (like Colress).

FAQ:

"Why isn't your dad in jail."

"Looker said he was useful."

[messrmoonyy]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

* sweats profusely trying to find even 3 I like never mind 5 * I am truly my biggest critic. So this was actually hard lol. But. Yeah here they are. And thank you for sending!

Apartment 342 ( Tess Servopoulos x reader )

I like any fic where I can get into Tess’ head a bit. And I’m pretty sure this fic was my first proper go at that.

The forbidden fruit ( Arthur Morgan x Reader )

A fic that I love simply because writing it came so easy. I had so much motivation and writing flow. And I love to be descriptive when it comes to emotions and feelings and this was perfect for that.

Muse ( Remus Lupin x Nymphadora Tonks )

I look back on a lot of my Remadora fics now and don’t like them simply because I have improved a whole lot since then. Found my style and continue to work on it yk. But this truly was one of my fav things I ever wrote for them. I never really liked the idea of non magic aus but yeah. I really liked this.

You sunshine, you temptress ( Tess Servopoulos x reader )

Again I love getting into Tess’ head. I channeled a lot of myself into Tess with this one and I know it flopped ridiculously hard but I do adore this fic. Exploring a new side of Tess and also just making her vulnerable for once.

And she would rescue me ( Tess Servopoulos x reader )

Another lil peak into Tess’ head. Idk why I like this one I just do. The developing relationship and the not so happy ending. Idk. I like it.

I nominate @devnmon @celestemagnoliathewriter @queer-sadie-adler @xthescarletbitch + anyone who feels like it!

No pressure to do it tho ✨

[dinitride-art]

Byler Fic Rec Week Day Two: S5 Speculation. Okay, so I missed day one because I was busy but. I’m gonna do todays! Also, some of these have longer descriptions than others and that is solely because I can figure out how to describe what’s going on with some of these fics more than the others. They’re all fantastic. I’m the problem here lol. (and all of these are byler. I swear. It’s just that sometimes the plot of the story is just as important as Mike and Will.)

1. The Secret to Being Unlucky by  lovetriangled 

So, Will’s POV, cool exploration of powers and plot stuff, angst/Will isn’t okay in the slightest, 13k, established byler, and I have read this fic multiple times. 

2. whispers by  dahlia_04, EmeraldTulip

Mike and Will’s POV’s, plot heavy, Will Byers is very not okay, Mike’s going through it too, 9.7k, and it’s got some neat formatting. I’m weak for anything that explores powers/supernatural/sci-fi stuff and this fic has a bit of that going on.

3. heat the pins and stab them in by  clearskiies

Mike’s POV, 13k, and he’s going through it. Get’s targeted by Vecna. You know how it is. A fair amount of Mike thinking about Will too.

4. moth to a flame (or a lightbulb) by  ApatheticLexicographer

Okay, Mike’s POV and my god does he get hit hard with this one. 7k, lots of character exploration and a fair amount of plot in there too, technically like one scene? But it’s really cool. Oh, also, this ones got some horror elements in it. 

5. These feelings are not my own by  Corvi_dae524

Will’s POV, cool power stuff/mechanics, and a funky little accidental emotional mind meld. 4k.

6. Wrong by  jenlouniverse

Multi-chapter, Mike’s POV, Mike really REALLY goes through it, 21.4k, and basically is about Mike not being able to tell what’s real. Which is like plot stuff, but also interesting to see how it all plays out. 

7. Tough tied and oh so squeamish by  Cocalolhh

The POV flips around a bit, 8k, and it’s two chapters and mostly about exploring selective mutism through Mike. It’s not all s5 speculation, but most of it is in a setting that could technically be s5 speculation. But mostly focused on Mike.

8. you were bigger than the whole sky by  delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy)

Mike’s POV, 28k, has a long time skip but is still directly dealing with s5 problems so I think this counts. There’s a lot of plot with sci-fi and at times almost fantasy elements to it. Mike is struggling a whole lot. And it explores hope, love and grief. 

9. The End of the World by  eagle_ace

Mike’s POV, 8.3k, focused on the Party and everything falling apart after season four. The writing style and formatting is also really neat. 

10. I grieve in stereo by  ferngreen

26.2k 1/2 chapters, Mike’s POV, Mike isn’t having a good time but hey. At least he’s got Will. Also a fair amount of plot with this one too, and mostly uses Stranger Things canon sci-fi elements, but along with an exploration of Mike’s character. 

Alright, those are all the fics (most of them, there’s always more hiding somewhere that I’m probably subscribed too but forgot to bookmark lol) I’ve got for this category!

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[misc-obeyme]

Ooo human AU? Seems interesting… what is Barb doing in this human au? Y’know once upon a time I went to this little tea shop thing, do you think Barb would wanna work there? I don’t really know lmao-

I really really wanna like Mammon and I get that he’s a little tsun but it’s just kinda hard for me to like him- I need validation and knowing that the work that I put into a relationship is appreciated, and I feel like with Mammon I would feel insecure or like… does he think I’m annoying, does he just not care about that I wanna be friends? So yea-

I have a deep love for Solomon akdjdjs especially in NB?? I value emotional stability and just like. stability and domesticity in general in my relationships, and they fed us so well with that hehe :3

My sister keeps sending me angst </3 so I’m depressed now yay! But I like torturing myself lol (especially if it’s good angst)

I’ve been trying to learn some k-pop dances!! And. uh. I have never danced before (besides just like random flailing that has no choreo at all) so that’s fun! But hey, it’s not going too bad in my opinion!

Anyways sorry for bothering you with my rambling ^w^

- <3

Ahh, yes I have a few posts about my human!au ideas... they even inspired some amazing fanart! But I haven't gotten to Barb yet... I started with the brothers and I haven't finished them yet. And it was just random ideas, I haven't actually written anything out. You can find them under the tag #misc human au! But also here are some links: this is the first one about Beel, then Belphie & Satan, and lastly Asmo & Mammon.

HOWEVER I have been thinking about Barbatos because of course I have. I've actually thought about two different human!au situations for him. In relation to my general AU as linked above, I'm kinda back and forthing about what I think he'd be doing. This is because I'm not sure what Diavolo is doing in that AU and I think that would impact what Barb is doing. I don't really want him to just be Diavolo's butler but human style, you know? So I'm still ruminating on this one.

But aside from that, I've had an idea about human!AU tea shop Barbatos for ages! So yes, exactly what you're suggesting. I was thinking it would be interesting to explore a story where Barbatos is not in command of time and space, where he's just... a regular person. How would that change his dynamic with MC? What would that look like if they fell in love? How would Barbatos react in a situation where he doesn't have any obligations to a prince or magic or the world at large? He's just a man who runs a tea shop.

Because I think if he didn't have all those things and he was just a human, he would definitely run a tea shop. I like to think of it as a tea shop/bakery hybrid. And of course MC is a regular customer. It's a story I've been thinking about for a while... maybe I should write it lol.

ANYWAY I didn't mean to ramble about this, but as you can see I have many thoughts lol.

It's totally valid not to like Mammon. He has a lot of fans, but he's not for everyone! The trick with him, I think, is to remember that no matter what he says, he's definitely down bad for you. All you gotta do is flirt with him and you'll see - he'll blush like crazy. Or maybe you flirt with one of his brothers just to see him protest. But in the end, if you really need him to be honest with you, all you have to do is ask him when he's alone with you. Every time he's open and honest with MC about his feelings it's when they're alone. It's one of my favorite things about him, personally. I like to imagine MC just being really honest with him and asking him how he feels and when he tells them, he might still be blushing, but he's serious and he means it.

I also think the tsundere thing is more about before he's in a relationship with MC. He has a harder time with it until it's official and he's feeling more secure. Then I think he'd get real clingy real fast and you'd find him glued to your hip lol.

But that's just how I interpret his character! And it's okay not to like a character that a lot of other people do! That's just how it goes sometimes!

Ah, Solomon. I love him, too. I wonder what it'd be like if they gave all the characters this treatment - like, if each character lived alone with MC for a season it'd almost be like routes, you know? Because you'd get to have that domestic situation with each one of them separately.

That would be interesting, but you know it's never gonna happen lol.

I have to be in the right mood for angst... I think it's pretty obvious that I tend to lean toward fluff. I do like angst, though, especially when it's all wrapped up in complicated emotion relationships... ugh but it also makes me crazy lol!

Ohhh fun! K-pop dances are so fun to watch! I hope you're enjoying learning them! I don't think you need any prior dancing experience! Especially if you're just doing it for fun. Anyway you gotta start somewhere, right?

No worries, you are not bothering me. As you can see, I am something of a rambler myself so don't be sorry!

[ltstrikesback]

Starting this by saying I really enjoy Wandee Goodday and think it’s great, genuinely! Lots of good stuff happening—professional stakes for each character, communicating boundaries, sexual tension, PSAs, beloved second couple pairing and beloved friends.

I was just trying to think why certain plot/emotional beats, even though they’re happening, aren’t always landing. Like what would I change if I could?

I think for me…I’d first define what this show is about (lol):

For YakDee: two characters from different worlds trying to reach new heights at their respective professions. They enter a FWB relationship as a way to achieve said heights. In the process, they learn to explore perception/reality when it comes to being in a relationship, this of course being informed by preexisting familial relationships and crushes.

For OyeiCher: two characters in an established relationship trying to provide for their family. They struggle with the hard realities of being the older siblings, running a small business and staying out of debt. They learn how to communicate through personal failures, informed by how past familial failures have already shaped their perception on self worth.

And then I think from there, I’d get rid of the stuff that doesn’t really add anything to these two narratives. Yak’s jealousy around Ter exists A LOT but is never really verbally addressed or resolved with Dee imo. So that gets cut. Yak’s constant attempts to kiss Dee don’t segue into conversations after the first time, so it just gets annoying after a while. That gets cut too. Or actually……..maybe it doesn’t need to be cut—they just need to talk about these things instead of showing what’s happening.

Like Yak should say: “Doc, I lost. I lost because I couldn’t stop thinking of you. And Ter. What happened that night? I can’t stand the thought of anything between you two. I’m losing my mind. I don’t want to be fake boyfriends, I want to be your real boyfriend. Don’t you feel it too?” And then Dee says “I’m so sorry, Yak. It was a complete misunderstanding. I let myself get caught up with Ter but I should have known better. I’m completely miserable without you. I came here to find you because…I love you.” Queue first kiss.

Tbh just gave myself more butterflies writing that than the actual execution but WHATEVER.

Still hopeful for the show and like I said I’m still enjoying it a ton! What do y’all think?

[jihyoruri]

me when it’s time for the yearly anon confession potluck and I have to admit that to me… wowyn.. is just.. 🙂. I think she is a little toxic and the wonyn situation takes me out so bad like it’s genuinely the funniest thing to me EVER. like I can not explain why but the wonyoung is like eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway! and wowyn just… listens tew her😭😭like ur telling me wowyn breaks up w girls If wonyoung doesn’t like them LMFAOO😭

idk for some reason wowyn to me is more of a loser than loseryn not even in a mean way just.. I don’t know I feel like if I met her fr I’d be like.. ur such a sad person…

moving past this… who is your favorite yn? we all know mine…

(1. shamelessyn 2. richgirl yn 3. aespayn/firecrackeryn)

i may not be the president of the aespayn or richgirlyn fanclub but I’m actually both of their therapists btw. yeah Ik you guys don’t know but my side gig is actually fixing them. yeah no aespayn is in the trenches… it’s bad in these streets. (I love richgirlyn almost the same amount as shamelessyn I’m a cheater sorry)

also side note I am sat for anything u write but I hope you continue to explore richgirlyn’s dynamic with chaewon and the other members.. idk maybe it’s bc I grew up with a lot of money but the way ppl w wealth act has always been so.. weird tew me. like I know these r just sillay yn works but I feel like people who write rich characters forget like.. these r the most emotionally stunted people on earth. they never learned to socialize or explain their emotions 😭dealing w rich people is insane because no one talks abt anything or knows how to interact with regular people like they have such hard times w it for some reason?? (because they never had to)

ANYWAY sorry for the long ask 😞I hope we get some aespayn fans out here for 4/20 SHOW SUPPORT FOR UR GIRL😭😭

-🎏

LOL babes imma have to correct you on some things. 😭

it’s not that wony is like “eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway!” she’s genuinely playing hard to get with yn, she feels like yn will always wait for her so she just doesn’t want to get into a relationship just as yet, I think I’ve mentioned it in early asks but wonyoung is playing hard to get with yn😭. wonyn is really a sad situation when you think about it because they’d be really good for each other but they’re not on the same page at all like wow!yn doesn’t think wonyoung likes her even tho wony does hold some feelings for her but she’s waiting it out but realizing that her time is running out. The only reason why wow!yn breaks up with people sometimes if wony doesn’t like them because wonyoung is genuinely her best friend if Giselle didn’t like one of yn’s gfs yn would probably break up with them as well, it’s so easy for her do that because she was just bored like she wasn’t in the relationship for real feelings if she acc had real feelings for the person it would be a different story take winter for example BOTH wonyoung and yujin didn’t like her and yn knew that but yn didn’t break up with her because she genuinely liked her but then she realized that she genuinely liked her so she broke up with her LMAOOOOOO. I wouldn’t call wow!yn a loser because she genuinely has problems, she has some mental instability. like her problems with her dad has definitely affected how she thinks about things and butchers how her mind functions in certain situations, she is a sad person tho. ANYWAYS moving on from wow!yn

my favourite yn and wow!yn and nwjns!yn THE SISTERS honestly I love wow!yn because she’s my most complex yn and honestly she’s just such a shit head and it’s so fun and amusing writing her and nwjns!yn is just a sweet mess like when I finally introduced her fic you guys will see what I mean, she’s the exact opposite of her sister 😭 (also a respectful mention of aespa!yn)

LOL they both need therapists for real so you got the job‼️ aespa!yn is a mess she’s a rich mess (I just took in that you like the two extremely rich yn’s LOL also firecracker!yn is always on someone’s favourite list and it always makes me laugh LMAOOO)

yes I am totally gonna explore richgirl!yn more, I tried my best to give a small peak into richgirl!yn having some problems I was so happy when you picked up on it in ur last ask for her

I honestly love long asks so much so this was fun to read LOL and thank you so much for reading and enjoying my works

[hay1ock]

Episode 4 of Only Friends

Well, that was quite the episode. I’m going to be discussing stuff that happened, so if you’re aware of anything in the episode that upsets you please bear that in mind. I don’t intend to be all in your face about it but people have different limits. I myself was fine with the episode on first watch, but the second time it really hit me how there are certain things about Ray I relate to and I had a bad time for a little while. But *deep breath* it’s all good now and I’m ready to ramble. Also, I feel like my thoughts are going to be bouncing all over the place with all the various moving parts and stuff that happened this episode.

So, might as well get straight to it, the big one, Ray (+ Mew + Sand). Ray, the human version of the Poor Boy t-shirt. His whole breakdown in the bathtub about being unloved, unwanted, how he ruined his mom’s life, man Khaotung delivered. I’m guessing it might be a case of his mom getting pregnant was unplanned/inconvenient - like his mom had to give up her career, or maybe having him trapped her with a man she didn’t love or in a bad relationship, which in turn led to her drinking and ignoring him, and ultimately to her death. Based on the younger version of Ray, he was what? Mid teens maybe. He said high school so maybe 14-16 range. Was his mom like that since his birth or did it start later, she slowly began resenting him?

I’m glad Mew had enough about him to go round and check on Ray. (I know his friends get some crap - Boston rightly so - about not caring about him, but there is only so much they can do if Ray isn’t ready, as he needs to be willing to help himself) Ray’s little face and his voice when he saw Mew had come though… “You’re here?” Surprise/relief that he’d put his faith in the right person. Mew really had answered his cry for help. Ray deserves a big hug. It’s not hard to see why he cares about Mew, why he answered his phone, why he would support Mew’s relationship with Top even though he dislikes Top, and yes, I’m sure jealousy is part of it, but there is genuine concern about the kind of person Top is, and if he’s good enough. But yeah, whether it’s romantic love or something else, I’m not sure. I imagine it’s a bit of a mix. He sees Mew as having saved him so there’s probably a bit of seeing him as his hero, the only person who, up to that point (or that we know of), had shown any affection or concern for him and it might be those feelings warped into a romantic love, or maybe it’s just the desperate need to keep Mew close, keep that one ‘good’ relationship and person at his side and he has mistaken his feelings for love beyond that of friendship. Ray is a whole bag of emotions and trauma, and untangling those for him to explore his feelings about both his past and what’s happening now will be hard and most likely hurt him and people around him (and me!).

I’m glad we got to see what happened regarding the video and the kiss and well, to say I’m disappointed in Boston and Top is an understatement - will talk more about them later. Also, I know Boston is a bad friend, but seriously, knowing everything about Ray and still messing with his head last episode and even calling Ray a burden back in episode 1, Boston you are the absolute worst lol.

But anyway, the kiss, the one in the past. I’m sad Mew couldn’t return Ray’s feelings and it must have been hard to hear that he was perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ray from hurting himself. 2 years ago, so he’s 19/20 yrs old, being told that must have been rough and a lot of responsibility, and then the fear of what Ray might do if Mew rejected him. That change in music seems like a reflection of Mew’s anxiety of the situation. I do like Mew and that from what we’ve seen he is pretty straightforward and honest. He kissed Ray back, but as he’s said, up until Top, no one had been able to make his heart tremble. I wonder how things might have changed if he had felt something. Would Ray have been able to get a handle on his drinking? Despite 2 years passing, he’s still in the same place, maybe worse where his drinking is concerned. Could he have changed? Or would he just have made them both miserable? Guess we might end up finding out as him and Sand get closer.

Skipping back to the present and ahhhh Ray nooooo. I don’t agree with him kissing Mew and am glad he was called out for his behaviour, but I do feel like I understand why he did it, or at least see why he might have. First, we had Boston messing with him, bringing his feelings of ‘love’ back to the surface and also adding fuel to his worries about Top - don’t be a side character, do something before it’s too late, ie save Mew from Top. We also have Mew, he’s told Ray he phoned Top for help first and he’s also trying to push Ray’s feelings towards Sand (I believe Mew was doing so with good intentions, wanting to see Ray happy and have someone now Top has taken a chunk of his time), but I feel like Ray pushed back against that. I believe he has been feeling something for Sand, even if just out of curiosity, but in a way that’s a betrayal to his feelings for Mew, the person he literally owes his life to. I imagine he’s confused and desperate to reaffirm that Mew is the one he loves. Mew is telling him to be with someone who loves and takes care of him and for Ray that person is Mew. So, I get it, but don’t agree with it. Glad he apologised again at the end and I’m glad Mew was able to accept the apology. I feel like he backed down from pressing Ray further about the ‘why’ behind the kiss, maybe not wanting to distress Ray who looked to struggle when Mew asked. I hope they can maintain their friendship. I know Ray can’t change how he feels about Mew overnight. Whether Mew fully knew about Ray still liking him, I’m not sure, but either way, it’s all out there now, so hopefully, Ray can move forward.

And talking of where he should be heading in his attempt to move on, him and Sand. I don’t know if it’s because it’s First and Khaotung, or just the way they are portraying the characters, but they have the most ‘romantic’ chemistry at the moment for me (Nick and Boston has so far been more primal, sexual, and then Mew and Top… I don’t even know what theirs is, it’s mostly anxiety inducing is what. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my stomach drops and both characters give off vibes of wanting control).

I love seeing Ray and Sand together. I love Ray’s puppy eyes. I love that Sand can’t say no to Ray’s puppy eyes. Sand seems a pretty strong-willed guy so if he really didn’t want to do something I’m sure he would say so. He had no problems communicating to Ray about how he felt at the music store and I’m glad he didn’t actually scold Ray and call him any names. There was just this strange sadness when Ray said ‘Burden on Society’. I don’t know if Sand sensed anything, but I think him discussing his boundaries, like with Ray wanting to buy him things, and that he isn’t something Ray can pick up to play with when he’s lonely to then forget about until the next time, I think Ray needs that. Other than money, we still don’t don’t know what kind of relationship he has with his father, or if he had any positive role models/relationships growing up that would help him learn about things such as boundaries and making real connections with other people, not just by throwing money around. I do believe Ray cares about Sand’s feelings, not necessarily because he sees him as special or for romantic reasons, but Sand is a person in his life now and it feels like Ray doesn’t intend to upset people on purpose, he wants to be cared for but also wants to be able to care for others, even as far as to ‘save’ them. I like that Ray is able to realise when he’s in the wrong and apologise, he did it in episode 1, and a couple of times in this episode. People make mistakes, not everyone can admit to them and apologise.

The record store scenes were lovely. The conversation about music. The suggestion that Ray is stuck in the past with his mother’s music and his trauma, and with his feelings for Mew. That discovering new bands brings Sand happiness and the implication that Ray should do the same, step outside that damn room that he’s surrounded himself with his mom’s records and find something new to explore. To find himself a little bit of happiness. I loved the small smile from Ray as he seemed to be considering Sand’s words. Chronologically, we then have them listening to music and staring and hand touching. The way Sand looks at Ray *dreamy sigh*. It was nice to see Ray in a moment of peace, at least that’s what it felt like. A moment to just pause the world and as Sand said “let music do the work.” And so, after going to Mew’s to apologise, we’re then back in a bath tub, bookending the episode nicely. That flashback though, yet again, can not blame Ray for clinging onto Mew and what feelings he had for him. Ray of sunshine *cries* I interpret the end as him making peace with his feelings, or at the very least, realising that no matter what, nothing more can ever come from them and so it’s time to move on, even if he just takes a tiny step in the direction of the owner of the Poor Boy t-shirt. I really hope that no matter what heartbreak lies ahead, these two find a way to a happy ending together, even if it’s Ray goes to rehab, gets some therapy and we skip ahead however many months, and they meet up again afterwards. So a fresh start and we’re left hopeful they’ll work things out.

Okay, that first part might have been way too long, but I’m bias towards Ray and so… that’s how I roll lol. The next bits might be shorter, or they might not lol. Next the Boston and Nick and Top (+ Sand) mess.

Boston, you are the worst. I mean, I kind of get filming your friends in a ‘haha look at these idiots, I’m so teasing them tomorrow’ kind of way, but still, dick move. And you know what another dick move is? Screwing with your friend’s kinda boyfriend (still confused on how long it’s been - under 3 months based on what Boston said last ep - and what Top and Mew consider themselves to be, as Top kept referring to Mew as his boyfriend last ep and this one and Mew complained about Top not introducing him as his boyfriend to Beam at the silent disco), and then for his ultimate dick move, we have Boston forcing himself on Top. I’m glad Top actively pushed Boston off him this time and told him a few home truths. I said before it feels more about Boston’s pride and some weird one-sided rivalry/jealousy. Like even in the flashback, he seemed to be competing with Ray, but also dragging Mew into the conversation with Cheum. Like ‘I can’t beat Ray, but what about Mew? I’m sexier and a better option than him right?’. Honestly, I feel like, if gmmtv would let us have nice things and let Neo and Khao out of the friends zone for a minute, Boston would be that guy to comfort Ray and maybe makeout/sleep with him just to show he was that little bit better than Mew - ‘at least I fucked ya’. He seems to have no remorse over anything at the moment. Whether he grows as a person or is a dick until the end, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. We got a nice bit of info about his dad if anyone was looking to really mess things up for him. Not looking at anyone in particular… Nick.

So, Nick. Boston really should have changed his passcode after Nick fixed his phone lol. He is walking a dangerous line of obsession and I’m not sure exactly where he’ll fall by the end. He was like a smitten kitten in the first couple of episodes, and he looked at Boston with hope and adoration, but there was a significant difference in how Boston’s words worked (or rather didn’t seem to) this episode when they were together. It currently stands as him wanting to get Boston, for them to be in love, but, depending where both his and Boston’s games take them, I feel like it might just come down to him wanting to ruin Boston in the end. You don’t love me? Well sucks to be you. I am here for Nasty Nick and his obsessive listening to Top and Boston moaning (poor Sand though - he did not need to hear that lol) And then he brings Top into it, and in turn Sand (and we find out Top stole Sand’s ex - gonna assume that person will pop up at some point). Well, everybody will know about Top and Boston but Mew at this point. I have this horrible feeling when stuff comes out Ray will find out Sand already knew and that might be one of many reasons they have problems.

So Top and Mew. Their relationship is the strangest to me. It might be because as the audience we know more of what Top’s been doing behind Mew’s back, see more of his smug smirky face that I want to punch occasionally, whereas we don’t know that much about Mew as an individual, but I don’t know… *stares at them*. I know Top got Mew’s heart all a flutter but sometimes, I’m left questioning what Mew sees in Top and does he actually like him? They can have some ridiculously cute moments, the disco, the Photo Booth, in the shower. Then they have some really off feeling and tense, challenging each other moments, Top coming off as possessive and pulling him away from his friends, the reset scene at laser tag, the scenes at the end of this episode. I like that Mew isn’t a pushover but getting with Top seems exhausting to me.

Another thing I like is that Mew doesn’t judge Top based on his past or who he’s slept with. Like I said Mew seems to be honest and straightforward and he wants Top to be the same with him. And I’m very much a judge you by what you do now not your past kind of person myself (obviously there are some exceptions to that). The plane in Top’s room got me curious. Is there a Boeing? I assume so as even before he told Mew and the only B I could think of at the time was Boston, I was like, surely not. Boston doesn’t seem in the least bit sentimental and not sure what a plane has to do with anything, but I did have second thoughts as the camera lingered and shifted focus from the plane to the model car that looks very much like Boston’s behind it. It might mean nothing, or maybe ‘Boeing’ will show up, the shot is framing two issues that can come between Top and Mew in the future - Boston and this Boeing person.

Top keeps pulling me in and has me thinking, okay maybe he is trying to be a better person, he just keeps fucking up, you know, like people do, and then just as quickly, I’m screaming trash at him. Where as Boston falls on the love to hate him side of villainy, Top keeps sticking his head over the line into just hate him territory. We’ll have to see where things go. I did think he’d called Beam over for sex at first, but not seeing the scene play out I wondered if it was something else - like just hang out, drink and sleep, as Top was clearly feeling guilty thinking back to moments with Mew and Boston, so I thought he might have trouble sleeping. As it was it was drugs. One way to knock yourself out I guess… whether it’s always just been drugs with Beam, looking back at the conversation at the silent disco, who knows, and I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, as I do want to believe he wants to change, but he’d already got arsey over Ray, Mew’s friend, being there and apparently not happy that he got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago, so was doubting Mew when he said it stopped at the kiss, and THEN initiated some weird deal for him stopping drugs. Again, we know more stuff than Mew, but with that music choice too, it felt all kinds of sleazy to me. If I was Mew I would not have been in the mood for sexy shenanigans, but hey, you do you, and hand jobs don’t have to be that deep. Fucking loved it when Mew said no penetration, take it or leave it lol.

OKAY. I think I’m done. There were probably other things I wanted to comment on, but the rambling was strong with this one lol. Looking forward to Episode 5.

[babyfairy]

here’s a much needed life updates post! even though generally speaking not a whole lot has happened lol

life has been pretty difficult since i lost my grandpa truthfully. it’s been a lot of struggling since then. lately in particular (as in the last few months) i’ve been struggling mentally more than ever. i think im going through one of those really painful transitional/growth periods (which figures, it’s about time for my saturn return) but i also think i am neurodivergent in some way? as in im like 99.99999% sure i am neurodivergent. i can’t think of any other explanation for the way my brain works and for the way i am struggling.

it’s weird because i have a lot of guilt about exploring the idea of possibly being neurodivergent. i’ve been talking with my doctor about it and every time we’re done talking i feel like im a liar or that im manipulating her or others into believing i could be neurodivergent in order to have an excuse for just not being a good person, friend, daughter, sister etc. i’ve been talking with her about OCD specifically. there are a lot of things im learning about OCD that i relate to and that have been completely taking over my life since the death of my grandfather. but i also relate to a lot of the traits of autism, so truthfully i don’t really know what’s going on and not knowing has been isolating and sort of difficult and scary. i have this intense need to know what’s “wrong” with me or why i act/think/feel the way i do. i think that in and of itself is a symptom but i’ve always been that way. i think i have trouble relinquishing control. and lately i just feel very out of control. my work, friendships, family life, self esteem, and everything all just feel extremely unstable lmao and i know the primary reason is me. because i’m always bracing for the next terrible thing to happen and i’m always worried about ruining everything or hurting someone or i don’t even know what. i worry every moment that i am awake.

i’ve been adjusting my meds under the advice of my doctor and a psychiatrist and im trying to get back into therapy but god is it intimidating lol! i don’t know why! i think the thought of starting all over with a new therapist just scares me a lot. i know i have to do it though because i can’t manage this on my own anymore at all. and i have no idea how to make it any better or manage my stress. so physically and mentally im doing really poorly. i think maybe worse than ever. but i’m alive lol and i’m trying to get back to a point where i feel ok and not so paranoid and distressed all the time. im just trapped in this horrible cycle. it’s really frustrating. and i just want to understand why but i don’t for now and i have to be ok with that.

it isn’t all bad though lol and i do have things to look forward to. im trying my best to build and deepen new relationships so i feel less isolated. being agoraphobic in your early 20s really does a number on your social life!!! i managed to get beyoncé tickets and im planning on flying to visit some of my closest friends later this year. so i have things to look forward to and that helps keep me going on the days where i just want to give up. it’s hard 😅 but hopefully it won’t be this hard for too much longer and i’ll be able to look back on this time period and feel proud of myself for pushing past it. because right now truthfully i just feel ashamed and sad most of the time. i think shame and guilt are like my primary emotions lol. and just general tiredness. but i’m trying my best to claw my way out of it

[firethekitty]

okay you reblog a lot of albums ive never heard of and am curious about but it’s hard to get myself to sit down and listen to a whole album so please please, Top Ten-ish Songs To Get To Know You kind of list? pretty please?

i literally daydream about people asking me stuff like this LOL. so this is hardly a comprehensive list of all my favorite songs ever but here are some songs that are really important to me!!! this got REALLY long so i put it under a read more

1. meet me in the woods by lord huron

my absolute favorite song Ever like of all time. means everything to me. i could listen to this every single day and never get tired of it. INSANELY fun, incredible vibes, makes me want to go outside and shoot a beam into somebody. lord huron is an Experience. all their albums are concept albums and there’s actually a fair amount of lore going on. on the physical CD for strange trails it actually has the characters’ names next to their respective songs

for meet me in the woods, it sounds very upbeat and happy, but listen closely and you’ll realize it’s not quite as it seems… in-universe, it’s narrated by a woman named francine lu, and the song has the same chords as the first track of the album (and another of her songs) “love like ghosts”. she also narrates “the night we met”, easily LH’s most famous song. francine lu is not having a normal one. what’s her problem? listen to find out…..

2. crystals by of monsters and men

this was my favorite song ever for about 6 years until meet me in the woods ranked just a tiny bit higher. sooo fucking fun, itches a part of my brain that’s only accessible via icelandic stomp & holler. makes me very happy and always cheers me up! of monsters and men was the first new (at the time) band i ever really discovered on my own without hearing about from my parents or other people, and i’ve been listening to them ever since (almost 13 years!!) they are incredibly important to me and i highly recommend all of their albums

3. sunblind by fleet foxes

relatively new but became a favorite as soon as i heard it. this is also one of the most Me songs i can think of on top of just being so fucking gorgeous and raw and heartfelt. this song is a tribute to deceased musicians who influenced robin pecknold (the lead singer and songwriter for fleet foxes) and how their music is pretty much the reason he’s even alive today. my favorite lines are “only way that i made it for a long time / but i’m loud and alive, singing you all night”. this entire album is sincerely a masterpiece and i highly recommend listening to it all. fleet foxes have really beautiful and unique lyrics, they remind me of mitski’s lyrics in that they’re very poetic and personal and emotional but still subjective enough that you can connect them to your own life

4. this must be the place by talking heads

specifically the stop making sense live recording, which i still half-refuse to believe is a live recording because it’s just THAT fucking good. whenever someone says david byrne can’t sing i direct them here, because he does sincerely have an incredible voice and he simply Chooses to sing weirdly bc he’s a quirked up white boy with autistic swag.

this is just a really sweet and romantic song from a band that otherwise stays far away from love songs and it works extremely well. this entire album is fucking incredible and easily the best live album of all time. half of them are BETTER than the studio recordings, and you can also watch david byrne leap straight up backwards like a full 4 feet

highly recommend watching stop making sense just the entire film

5. vein of stars by the flaming lips

back in 2014, i watched a very beloved streamer play a game called “space engine”, in which you explore as much of the universe as we’ve theorized to exist. this was a little before copyright laws got so fucking strict on youtube and twitch, so mr. vinny vinesauce could play any music he wanted while planet-hopping. one of those songs was vein of stars, and it’s been one of my absolute favorites ever since.

the flaming lips are definitely an acquired taste. wayne coyne does Not have a very good voice and it can get extremely grating, especially to someone who hasn't heard them before. but when it works, god it works. this song is so pretty and nostalgic to me, always calms me down whenever i’m In A Mood. it’s nihilistic but not in a depressing way, more like “yeah maybe we aren’t here for any particular reason, maybe there’s nothing after this life. there’s nothing we can do about that, so why worry?”. very peaceful. REQUIRED listening when stargazing

6. good old-fashioned lover boy by queen

one of the first songs i ever truly hyperfixated on. unfortunately i listened to it SO fucking much it kind of ruined it for me, but i still do really love it. i may not listen to it that often anymore but i felt obligated to put it here bc it had a Profound Effect on my developing brain

7. too much time by john vanderslice

the year is 2012 and you're halfway through the newest episode of the hit podcast welcome to nightvale. cecil announces the weather. little do you know that you will carry the next 3 and a half minutes with you for the rest of your life. this one is just absurdly nostalgic to me (and not to mention incredibly vash the stampede coded). beloved song!!!

8. waltz for zizi & the real folk blues by the seatbelts & mai yamane

well it’s no secret that i think cowboy bebop has the greatest anime soundtrack of all time and one of THE greatest soundtracks of all time Ever. this is just an objective fact actually.

i believe this is because the seatbelts and specifically the composer yoko kanno studied real jazz, blues, and bebop to make the ost. like it's not just "jazz-flavored", there is genuine, deep respect and you can hear it in every single track. waltz for zizi gives me physical goosebumps every single time i listen to it, it's absolutely perfect. i've made it a ritual to listen to every time i visit the shore at night and go stargazing. sincerely transcendent experience

9. cuckoo song by cosmo sheldrake

hhhhhrrr this entire fucking albummmm hhhhhhhrhhhhrhhhaauuuuUUUUOOOGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

back during my final semesters of college, i had to take a course for art degree seniors. we’d pick something we were passionate about, make art for it, and it would be hung up for a week in the exhibition room. i chose birds of course, but wake-up calls inspired me to shift that choice to something more important than just random funny bird drawings. i focused on bird species that have gone extinct within the last 60 years because wake-up calls is made almost entirely out of endangered bird songs.

i’ll be honest i can barely listen to this song or anything on the album because i WILL literally start sobbing like in real life. cuckoo song in particular just makes me start crying every single time i listen to it, it’s like a magic spell. it’s not even necessarily sad but just viscerally bittersweet. the art for the album is made by flora wallace. here’s the spotify canvas i made a gif just for you 👍

10. take you back by orville peck

and finally………….. the song that made me realize that i actually DO love real country music a lot, and that the derivative “bro country” sub-genre that developed in the early 2000s has absolutely destroyed any positive opinion of country music in society. we NEED to go back, and orville peck is more than doing his part. this is the first song i ever heard by him and it's just so goddamn fun. i am completely unable to not sing along to this when it comes on

not only do i highly recommend orville peck but also any country music from the 50s and 60s, especially marty robbins, charley pride, conway twitty, and of course mrs. dolly parton. and later country rock/folk rock bands like america and creedence clearwater revival. it’s SO good i’m so serious

orville peck is the only modern country singer i can think of who's not afraid to bring back the harmonicas and whistling and steel guitars and whip cracks and yeehaws. it's fantastic. he's also gay and an outspoken trans ally. i believe this gives him the power to revive country music from the dead 🙏

[everybody-loves-purdy]

What's your favourite thing about each of your favourite books?

That is a hard question, and one I am surprising myself with this reread, I’m getting new favourites lol. I’ll list a few of the books I know I consider amongst my favs for sure.

Tallstar’s Revenge - When I last read the books a few years ago I liked Tallstar’s Revenge, but it wasn’t one of my favs. Fast forward to when I just read it now but something about it legitimately touched my soul, and that’s down to the character of Tallstar himself in that book. This is now probably my favourite warrior cats book.

The First Battle - The way the entire book is just an emotional rollercoaster of tragedy that leads to such a devastating and preventable event, pitting friends and kin against one another, only ending because a brother realises he has gone too far as he is about to kill his brother, the only person left that still believes in the person he used to be.

Ravenpaw’s Farewell - This book radiates love, that’s just it’s aura to me, it’s just so tender and gentle. Not just in regards to Ravenpaw and Barley.

Shattered Sky - Just very well paced, a lot of action, a great an unsettling theme about the fates of Dawnpelt and the other missing cats. And it has not one but two of the most iconic scenes in warriors.

Crowfeather’s Trial - I really enjoy the exploration of the broken relationships in Crowfeather’s life and is attempts to fix them, particularly his relationship with Nightcloud.

Riverstar’s Home - I really really enjoy Riverstar’s characterisation in this and the relationship he has with Night. Riverstar and Night are my favourite warriors friendship. I also love the way RiverClan is formed and how Riverstar sees and interacts with his clanmates.

Crookedstar’s Promise - *gestures broadly*

Out of these Tallstar’s Revenge and The First Battle are my absolute top favs, and I can’t wait to see what else this reread reveals about my favs now. There are a few other books in my S tier in my rereads tierlist I haven’t included and while I still stand by them being in that tier I wouldn’t class them as favs as the way I do these if that makes sense? But they’re very close. Like I can point at them and say “that’s very very good and I love it and it deserves to be here but I would probably reread this other one more”

Also please let me still love Crowfeather’s Trial upon rereading it and not let this age poorly lol

[sitp-recs]

hi liv, hope you’re doing well! i have some asks too!

how did you start shipping drarry?

would do please go on a giddy, adoring rant about how much you love drarry?

thank you so much and hope you have the best day ever <3

Hi anon, sure ask away! I don’t know if this will be the adoring rant you were hoping for but it will be an honest one 😊

I’m not quite sure how I first found Drarry fic - it’s been so long my memory is fuzzy! But I’m certain I started shipping them shortly after watching Chamber of Secrets. How could I not? The tension, the implications & complications, the blonde x brunette aesthetics! But I wasn’t fluent in English back then, so I’d mostly read fics in my mother tongue on Brazilian archives and on ff.net. Green Eyes was a major hit back then and one of my favorites. I started reading in English sometime around 2005, that’s when I found FictionAlley, Hex Files etc. I remember being utterly obsessed with Irresistible Poison, i don’t know how many times I’ve read it in a row, together with other old classics like Eclipse, Bond, Maya’s fics.

To be clear, I wasn’t only reading Drarry back then. I’ve always been a multishipper at heart and my fascination with the problematique was awaken pretty early on lol I’ve read all kinds of ships (If You Are Prepared is a Snarry series that still haunts me to this day) and tropes you can imagine - in fact, I was into sooo much stuff I don’t enjoy as much these days, like dub/non con, bond fic, Amortentia, infidelity etc. I’ve read it all and had a blast! I’ve also had a brief Wolfstar and even briefer Scorbus phase when Cursed Child was released but haven’t revisited them since. The sad thing about reading mlm as a kid and having to hide your internet history is that I didn’t keep track of anything :(

After 2008 I took 2 major breaks from fandom but my interest in Drarry remained, and I’d still read it occasionally, despite being completely immersed in another fandom. Something about the fic quality, the epic stories, the emotional payoff in Drarry still hit me hard and lured me in. But I was a lurker, too shy to interact besides embarrassingly long comments on ao3. I had no fandom friends. That changed when I got into the MCU in 2013 and created a Tumblr to get involved with the community. I had 2 short-lived but intense otps that consumed me as much as Drarry does, and I shared my first rec lists on a sideblog for one of them. But like I said, I’d still read Drarry on occasion! I found RoA as soon as it was published, and thankfully sara_holmes wrote for both HP and MCU 🙏🏼

I’ve said this before but I think my love for Drarry remained untouched over the years for a variety of reasons: the first one is that I really really loved the universe, and through fandom, I’ve fallen deeper in love with the (fleshed out) version of of these characters. I loved fics that were creative and full of world building because I couldn’t get enough of that magical universe. Unfortunately JKR ruined my sense of wonder for canon beyond repair and so I’ve had to repurpose the way I experience fandom and what I seek out of it. I haven’t read the books or watched the movies in a very long time and at this point my perception and feelings about HP and Drarry are fully shaped by my experience here, by the brilliant works I’ve read and the dear friends I’ve made.

Now this is about finding a safe and welcoming community in this corner of fandom, one that’s compassionate, brave, kind and that explores these characters the way I want to see. Now it’s about feeling like I belong somewhere after so many years of lurking around. Besides, enemies to lovers will always be one of my favourite tropes, I find it really compelling and I love the many ways we find to get these idiots to fall in love with each other over and over again. It’s certainly been a rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs, but fandom has been a big part of my life and identity for two decades now , and I’m nowhere near done 💜